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#This has been a major thing. I couldn't understand why they didn't get happy by small things or events
mrfoox · 9 months
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Ok autistic moment incoming maybe but
It just really hit me and I understand that... Many people. Mainly logic driven people do not... Put value/feelings/thoughts into things and people around them.
Things just ARE. No need to think harder on it. There's just facts
And as someone who put value/feelings/thoughts into EVERYTHING... I always struggled to understand. But now I get that they don't do this...?
They see a tree, it's just a tree. They don't think it's pretty or calming or makes them think of an memory. It's just a tree.
And I put feelings into everything. My life is mainly about how I FEEL. How things make me feel, how people make me feel. I always put deeper meaning into things that isn't at first glance
And I couldn't figure out that was... What's so different between many people I struggle to understand
I feel like god rn like I've solved an huge problem, I am tripping
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idyllic-ghost · 1 month
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title: To Choose A Mortal Life
pairing: Vernon x gn!reader
genre: fluff, comfort, established relationship
warnings: mentions of having a bad day
synopsis: you've just finished watching your favorite film trilogy, and Vernon has the nerve to insult your favorite character.
wordcount: 1k
taglist: @enhacolor, @shuabby1994, @junhui-recs, @dkakapizzaboy, @just-here-to-read-01, @loviehan, @userjunhuii, @novalpha, @bubblymoon, @aaniag, @d0nghyuck, @fantasy2wonderland, @seunghancore, @woozixo, @niktwazny303, @lllucere, @uniq-tastic, @wonwoospartyhat, @stariightjoyy, @hyneyedfiz, @cali-snow, @pearlygraysky, @crazywittysassy, @yeosayang
rating: PG 13
a/n: yes, this is self-indulgent leave me alone. got this thought last night and had to write it out this morning, so this is for all of the nerds and vernon lovers who follow me
join my taglist
masterlists
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Vernon looked over at you as soon as the credits rolled, a content smile on his lips. You, on the other hand, were gripping the edge of the blanket like your life depended on it - tears staining your cheeks as you sniffled. Although he didn't mean to, Vernon couldn't help but laugh. It was quick, barely noticeable really, but you heard him. You whipped your head towards him with a glare that could kill a man.
"I'm sorry-"
"Why are you laughing?" you whined. "That was beautiful!"
Vernon let out another laugh as the tears came rolling down your cheeks again. The two of you hadn't been sitting far apart, but for the sake of your well-being, Vernon moved a little closer and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
"Babe," he whispered, "you've already seen this movie... a lot."
"Because it's good! You think so too, right? Why aren't you crying?" you whaled, and Vernon couldn't help but laugh again.
"I've also seen it-"
You buried your face in your chest, and Vernon grinned as he wrapped his arms around your frame. His unwillingness to cry only made you more upset. It was cute, really. Then he saw a name on the credits that he recognized and something he had been trying to figure out clicked.
"Oh. Now I remember where I've seen him before," he said, referring to earlier in the movie where he had tried to figure out one of the actor's filmography from memory. "He's that guy in the second season of Stranger Things."
Your sniffles stopped, your body stopped quivering, and Vernon knew he had said something wrong. He let you go as you tried to get out of his grip, and when you looked at him you were met with a cheesy smile that screamed "Please forgive me!"
"Sam did not carry Frodo up Mount Doom to be known as 'that guy from Stranger Things!'" you exclaimed.
Vernon threw his head back with laughter as you tried your best to argue with him - it was impossible, he was laughing so hard that he could barely catch his breath let alone answer you. He had spent the majority of your rewatch of the Lord of the Rings trilogy trying to figure out where he had seen Sam before. It wasn't anything he had thought of before, so of course he wanted to know. You had asked him to not go on his phone, watching the movies was very serious for you - even if you frequently talked over the movie to explain certain things. That was allowed, of course. Vernon didn't complain, he enjoyed watching you be so enamored with a movie. He was just happy that you had finally started to relax after your hard day at work.
"I'm sorry," he said in between snickering. "I just saw the actor's name on the credits, I didn't mean to offend Sam."
You looked at him with a pout, your eyes still glossy from crying and the skin around them slightly puffy. You looked like a mess, but Vernon still thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on. His grin never faltered; eventually, it got you to break into a smile. You cuddled up next to him again, and he wrapped his arms around you. The credits kept rolling, but neither of you felt like moving to turn them off.
"I still don't understand why Arwen was dying," Vernon mumbled.
"She chose a mortal life," you murmured, "And since she was opposed to Sauron, she would've died if he got the ring back. They all would have."
Vernon nodded at your explanation. You were tired; he could tell from the way you yawned and the fact that you didn't go into a full-blown explanation of why Arwen was dying towards the end of the trilogy. He placed one of his hands on the top of your head, letting you take the other in your hands and play with his fingers.
"Would you choose a mortal life for me?" he asked.
"Yeah." You intertwined your fingers with his, looking at them as if you were studying the way his hand fit in yours. Usually, you would've teased him for asking such a question - called him lame, and maybe flicked his forehead, but not tonight.
"Even if I called Sam 'that actor from Stranger Things?'"
"You're pushing it." You looked up at him with a teasing grin. "But yeah."
"Thanks," he said with a grin that matched yours.
You pursed your lips at him, silently asking him for a kiss, and he obliged. It was short and chaste, almost just a peck. His lips were slightly chapped and tasted like salty popcorn, but you didn't care. When you pulled back from him, his eyes were still closed as if he was trying to savor the moment. You put your head back on his chest without saying a word, even though you had plenty of ideas on ways to tease him floating around in your mind.
"Do you want to go to bed?" he asked after some time of silence.
"Could we just stay here for a moment?" you asked. "I'm comfortable here."
"Sure."
Even though one of Vernon's legs was falling asleep, even though he actually needed to go to the bathroom, and even though he was so tired from watching Lord of the Rings for nine hours straight, he wasn't going to move. Because you were comfortable because you were relaxed. If you felt this safe with him, that you could yell at him for not respecting your favorite film character enough and that you could fall asleep in his arms just a moment later, he was going to do everything in his power to let you keep sleeping. Maybe he wasn't as brave or as good with a sword as Aragorn, but he still wanted to protect you at all costs. He wrapped his arms around you tightly. As cheesy as it was, he really would choose one lifetime with you over facing forever alone.
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DIVORCING
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WARNING!
Do not read if you're not 18+ years old.
Sex and strong language
Controlling male protagonist
English is not my first language. I'm so sorry if there are some grammar mistakes.
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I finally did it, I filed for divorce. My husband, Bruce Wayne and I have been on different paths for quite a long time.
It wasn't an easy decision since we adopted Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian. Our sons meant the world to us, or at least to me. He wasn't around the majority of the time, I took care of my sons, and he was nowhere to be found. Always so busy, always so distracted and thinking about something else. We lacked intimacy. When he was around, he was cold and full of rage. No one could talk to Bruce if Bruce himself didn't talk to that person first.
I had enough, I had to step out of our marriage, I wanted to start again, but not with Bruce. It was the right decision, I needed attention, I needed love, not someone who made me doubt myself, someone who was a ghost, someone who didn't care at all about anything. I used to spend a lot of time after our kids, and I stopped taking care of myself. It showed, I always had a tired face, lacked energy, and I was distracted worrying about my husband. I gave too much to someone who didn't deserve even half of it.
My new apartment was in uptown Gotham, and it was spacious with many modern features. I felt alone the majority of the time, but it had to be this way, I needed to be alone for some time.
After I filed for divorce, I didn't expect Bruce's reaction. He called me, it was the first time in moths that we had a good conversation.
"Honey, come back home" He said with a low tone of voice.
I started to cry, I started to tremble reviving my experience in that place I stopped calling home.
"You know what you put me though. You do. You stopped loving me, I was alone taking care of the kids. The only help I had was Alfred. You don't even know that I used to cry myself to sleep because of you. " Tears started to roll down my face. It was painful and atrocious suffering like that for someone with always an excuse.
"The kids miss you, Alfred and the dogs too. I miss you"
Same warm tone, sweet words to lure me back in that snare of marriage.
"Why weren't you there for me? All this time, I suffered. Bruce, I deserve to be happy. "
I couldn't stop my tears, I was crying so desperately.
"You do. With me, the kids and Alfred."
"Not with you. Not anymore."
"Baby. We're not gonna have a divorce, think about Damian. Uh?. How is he gonna take it? Living in two different homes, his parents divorced... We can not make him go through all of this."
Same tone. Same warm voice. All calculated.
"He talks to me about you all the time. And he asks me when you're gonna come back to us. He calls his mommy at night. He looks out for you. He sleeps a lot in our bedroom, and he says it still has your scent. Think about Jason, you're the only woman he ever accepted in his life. He's angry now. He says it's time for us to get back together. Tim, he never comes out of his room, and when he does, it's because he hopes you're back. And how could we forget about Dick. He's devoured with anger towards me. Honey, you do understand that all I do is to protect you and the boys, to make you all be alright when one day I won't be here anymore? One day, I might not be back home. But I want you and the boys to never worry about anything. You're all I have and care about."
Bruce sounded so sincere, and it was the thing that made me melt. The kids. I missed them, I did more than anything.
But he would be back to his old ways, disappearing, not making love to me, not being there for the kids.
"Bruce, I gotta go, now."
"I'm gonna call you tomorrow at the same time." He sounded like he was ending a business meeting, I've heard that cold tone before.
"I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea." I said, looking out of the window, hoping to see him in his costume watching over me. He later confessed to me that he always watched me from the dark.
"I wasn't asking. Sleep tight, beautyful."
"Good night, Bruce."
He called me the following day at the same time.
We talked about the kids. He then planned to move out of the manor to a more tranquil place with the kids. I smiled for the first time in a while. He made me think it was still possible to be together again.
After our call, he wished me good night and promised to call the following day. My lawyer advised me to stop interacting with Bruce, to stop all the calling, and sweet nothings on the phone. All of that needed to stop before going to court.
He called me at the same time, but I never answered following my lawyer's advice. Other two months passed, and nothing had changed. I visited the kids when Bruce wasn't home. He was right they weren't happy about all the divorce thing, especially Damian, who I saw crying for the first time.
A week passed, and after talking to my lawyer, I headed back to my apartment. It was cold and lonely as always.
I had one voice message to listen to. Bruce never sent me one before. He preferred calling me and talking on the phone.
But, he surprised me.
"Honey, we should talk in person. We can find an arrangement, no lawyers, just you and me. Wayne Manor, Saturday, December the 21st, 8 o'clock. Goodnight, sweetheart. Looking forward to our meeting. "
The first thing I did was to call my lawyer and fix an appointment for the following morning so we could discuss the new matter.
"He sounds sincere." My lawyer said after I made him listen to the message Bruce sent me.
"He does. When he wants to." I remarked.
"You should go. If we proceed with this divorce, be ready for the media, your kids under more unwanted attention, and not to talk about the shitstorm. I'll give you the papers with the reasons why you filed for divorce and all the other stuff. "
At 5 o'clock that Saturday, I started to prepare myself, emotionally and physically. Bruce was unpredictable.
I dressed formal, white shirt, long black skirt and high heels. He sent me a driver, his old ways. The driver and I stayed in silence for all the time we took to get to Wayne Manor.
Before knocking at the immense door, I took a deep breath.
The doors opened just in time for me to see Bruce getting down the stairs.
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He was so elegant, formal, and handsome he didn't look nothing like the last time we saw each other. He was taking care of himself. He seemed warm and not cold as an ice cube.
He greeted me with a warm hug without saying anything. There was nothing to say.
I was about to get used to that warm ambrace, but he pulled away and guided me to the conference room.
He pulled the seat for me, and he seated next to me at the table top.
"Come closer, honey. I gotta see these papers of yours."
He pulled my chair closer to him to the point where I could feel his warm breath on my cheek.
"You look so beautiful, baby, and you smell so good. You know this is my favourite perfume? So sweet." He smiled.
My heart started to beat faster, and all that praising made my legs crush one against the other unintentionally.
"You always have been the most beautiful woman in the room. The smartest. The funniest. The most breathtaking. " He kept praising me. He smiled mischievously, knowing what those compliments did to me.
Fuck, I wanted more.
It had been such a long time of abstinence that I was starving with kisses and sex.
He didn't touch me, yet, but he knew it was all it needed to break me.
"So pretty. This high bun siuts you perfectly. It lets glow the skin on your neck."
He finally did it. He touched me with his big, warm calloused hand. I bit my lower lip, trying to keep it all together. He massaged one of my shoulders and my neck admiring every expression of mine. I put my hand on his without even knowing, and I started to carress it.
"Bruce, please." I begged him to let go of me. To free me from his control, it was so sweet and painful at the same time. He placed one kiss on my hand and one on my neck. I was about to lose it.
"The papers." I remembered him, trying to free myself from his touch.
He stopped every movement, he composed himself, and asked me to read for him.
I came down from my high and started to read the summary.
"Getting to this point of my relationship with my husband, Bruce Wayne, was never my intention. [...]But it was forced to me since during these last months I have been neglected, starved with affection.[...] This behaviour doesn't apply only on me, but on my kids as well. [...]I can no longer live and be in a relationship that doesn't represent the words love, family, and unity for the previously mentioned reasons[...]"
As I was reading, he kept his eyes on me, and I swear I felt completely naked burning under his sight. He pressed a kiss on my cheek and formed a trail of soft kisses to the corner of my mouth.
He kissed my lips and stopped me before arriving to read to half of the second sheet. I waited for so long. His lips were soft and hungry for mine. We kissed slowly, taking our time, making out like two teenagers in love. He was so gentle embracing me like the most precious of jewels. A moan escaped my mouth, making him kiss me deeply and vulgarly. I loved every second of it. He had never tasted that sweet, so perfect. As we pulled away, he murmured to me:
"You know that we're not getting this divorce, right?" Just to then start kissing me again.
We ended up standing up, kissing and hugging each other like nothing ever changed.
He then proceeded to kiss my neck, devouring it up. His hands trailed down to my ass, caressing it and squeezing it tight in his hands. I moaned, letting myself go to the pleasure.
"Bruce"
"Feels good, doesn't it, baby?" His voice echoed in my head. All I could think about was just him and the pleasure he was intoxicating me with.
"So good." I moaned.
I forgot about everything.
"That lawyer of yours, I don't like him. He looks at you like a beast in heat. "
He went behind my back, putting his clothed erection against my butt, to let me know what I did to him. He was so big, so hard, and so ready for me. I got wetter and hornier just at the thought of it.
He kept licking and biting my neck, letting me get higher and higher.
He unbuttoned my shirt, freeing my breast just to then undo my bra and let it fall to the ground on top of my shirt.
He pinched my nipples while thrusting his erection against my ass.
"You're my wife. My property, all mine. Mine and only mine." He kept going on teasing me, provoking me and making me melt under his touch.
"Yours." I was out of my mind. The power he had on me was getting stronger second by second, minute by minute.
"There is no divorcing. I don't wanna ear none of that. Did I make myself clear,baby?" I melted more.
"Yes. Oh, Bruce."
In one move, he freed me from my skirt, letting it fall down to the ground with the rest of my clothes.
He soon had one hand on my brest and one between my legs caressing my clit, making me feel good.
"This fucking cunt. So fucking wet for me, uh? Gonna make you feel so good, baby, so fucking good" With that promise, my hopes went high as my mind.
"Moan for me like that. Making my dick so fucking hard, uh?"
"I'm gonna fuck you really good. I'm gonna make you cum on this useless papers. So fucking mine." He continued teasing me.
He put one finger in me, and it was enough to make me moan louder and cum. I had no chance of winning against him.
He then made me sit on the big mahogany table. He spread my legs, exposing my wet, pulsing cunt. He took a good look at it, then at me. He buried his face between my legs, kissing, licking, and eating me out. I was lost in pleasure. Meanwhile, he unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his toned body.
He was like a god.
He started to play and enjoy himself by butting two fingers in me and licking my clit like a starved man.
"So good. Oh my god, just like that." I moaned, enjoying myself.
He moved his free hand to my breast, caressing one at the time, to later intertwine his hand with mine.
"My baby. Looking so good like this, legs wide open on my expensive table. Uh?" I came with those words, and as he predicted, I soaked all the papers.
I tried to catch my breath, but he didn't give me time. His mouth was already on mine.
We kissed again and again.
"I'm so in love with you." He said lowly on my ear.
I smiled. It all seemed like a dream, a happy one. A utopia.
"I mean it." He said, looking at me in the eyes.
It was true. All of it. Bruce never lied.
"Now I know." I said before kissing him.
"Now let's get to the real deal. I still haven't cum. And I know a good place where I can stick it in"
"I don't know where." I said provoking him while leaning back on the table. My back met the cold surface.
I lifted my legs to Bruce's torso.
He removed my heels, kissing my feet.
He was so dirty and perverted. And I loved it.
He was looking at me straight in the eyes. Those blue obs darkened as he submissed me even more.
"You taste so fucking sweet." He said, liking the base of one of my feet.
I got wetter, hornier, and hungrier for more. I needed more.
He slowly put his zip down, freeing his cock with his pants still on and buckled.
He pulled me closer to the edge of the table by my tights. Not long after, he was inside of me, slowly exploring me like it was the first time. I was so full of his flesh. It was so big and hard that I could feel every vein on his surface. He then opened my legs, getting closer to me, just to whisper to me the dirtiest words. I had goosebumps all over my body.
"Bruce, fuck me harder."
He did as I commanded without further discussion, he thruster deeper in me, touching all my weakest spots. He made me cum uncontrollably, fucking me to the gates of heaven.
"Like this? Uh?"
"Just like that." I moaned, hugging him harder.
"This cunt is so fucking good. So fucking tight. Gonna make me cum, baby."
He moaned against my skin.
"Fuuuck. Oh my love!" I was out of my mind, I had pleasure all in my veins, I couldn't control anymore what came out of my mouth.
"Yeah. Feels good uh?" He kissed me not waiting for an answer.
He went faster, harder on me, I couldn't get enough, I was on cloud nine. Bruce hugged me like our lives depended on that. I came on and on, and my body was exhausted. Bruce kept going on fucking me senseless, moaning, letting himself go. His body was warm against my skin, his touch so sweet .
"I love you, my beautiful wife. I love you so much." He looked at me straight to my face and smiled, finally a warm smile and not a calculated one.
"Y-you say that now that you're fucking m-me." I spit venom.
His movements started to get harder and more precise, trying to find my weakest spot.
"I. LOVE. YOU." He repeated harshly.
"Then fuck me like you mean it."
He smirked just to then increase his pace.
One hour later, we finally came to a stop. He rested his head between my brest. I had no energy, I was really exhausted so I closed my eyes and when I reopened them, it was already the next day.
Sun rays hit my face, I didn't want to wake up. The bad was so warm and soft. It wasn't the bed I got used to in my cold apartment. It was Wayne Manor's.
I lifted my hand trying to find Bruce, hoping that all the things we said the previous night would have become true, and finally, we could all get back to be a big family.
He wasn't there. My heart sinked. I pulled myself up, and I was completely naked. I headed to Bruce's walk-in closet, hoping to find something that could suit me, just to then leave. I found all my clothes in there, including the ones I wore the night before.
I dressed up, opting for a cream coloured sweatshirt, tight blue jeans, and a pair of white trainers.
I collected my phone and my bag and headed downstairs.
"Where are you going?" His voice echoed in my head, and his firm tone stopped my movements.
I turned around, and he looked like he had just come out of the shower. He wore a towel, and little water drops were running from his head down to his weist. With his hands, he held a plate with breakfast on it and a fresh red rose.
He placed the plate on a dresser, and he moved slowly closer to me.
"Alfred is not here, I had to arrange something myself. I know you like strawberries."
He caressed one of my cheeks, kissed my forehead, and hugged me. I hugged him back with my heart pounding in my chest.
"You just had to stay in bed and wait for me a little longer. I wanted to surprise you with a delicious meal and good morning sex."
I smiled and hugged him tighter, finally understanding his intentions.
"You smell so good." I said, sniffing his chest.
"We can shower together after breakfast and good sex." We kissed and ended up in bed again, skipping breakfast and going straight to devouring each other.
We had breakfast after two rounds, and then we showered.
"I love you. I love you. I love you." He said, caressing my hair while hot water was running down on our bodies.
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"I love you. I love you. I love you." I responded, smiling. He smiled back at me, and we kissed again.
That day we went to the beach, it was warm despite being winter. He looked so handsome, happy, and relaxed. It was at that moment that I finally saw the man I fell in love with. He looked young, well-kept, and glorious under the sunlight.
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"What, honey?" He asked me.
"You're so handsome." I said, looking away since I was getting shy.
"Come here. Let me kiss you one more time. "
"You gotta catch me first." I smiled, seeing the confused face he made.
I ran, and he chased after me. My intention was never to get too far away from him, I couldn't anyway even in my dreams. He eventually caught me and threw me over his shoulder. He spanked one of my butt cheeks, making me laugh.
Not too long after, he put me down and caught my cheeks between the palms of his hands. We kissed once more.
There were sparks materialising around us. It was all so perfect.
To be continued...
Hope you liked it
Shotout to
For inspiring my story.
♡♡♡ Thank you for reading ♡♡♡
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drea-ms · 5 months
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SMOKED CIGARETTES AND EMPTY BEER BOTTLES. GETO SUGURU
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げとうすぐる. Please don't try to kiss me on the sidewalk, On your cigarette break. I can't afford to love someone, not the way we loved each other.
warnings. heavy angst. no happy ending. hurt NO comfort at all. major character death. suicide mentions. depression and anxiety. mentions of smoking and drinking. toxic situationship. right person not enough time trope. canon complient? haibara lives tho so 🤷‍♀️. slight mention of suguru x oc (nakamura kyouko) but it's not mentioned or deep enough. sugu n reader r NAWT okay. not proofread, but when has my shit never not been proofread? grammar mistakes. inspired by xanny by billie eilish.
masterlist. next
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A six pack box of beer, (the sweet ones, you never like the bitter taste of beer.) the sunset looking as beautiful as ever, and you sitting on the rooftop, a cigarette you stole from shoko in your hand (You didn't smoke. You used it as to have something your hands could play with). Life as a traumatized jujutsu student couldn't get better than this. Hell, you wished you could've gone back to the time before your fight with him. You knew you couldn't stop him, you knew you both weren't good for each other, but that's what made it work for you and Suguru. At least you thought it did.
Leading to the weeks before the fight, was the death of Riko. You knew she was somewhat close to Suguru, like a little sister. He told you about her, it was sweet that he had a sister like figure. Then after her death was the almost death of Haibara. You knew something was up that day, so you headed to where Yu was clearing a mission and saved his life, the only consequence was the fact that you were hurt more than him. He got upset, you understood him. But at the same time you didn't.
You understood that he liked to smoke, and you didn't. You understood that you liked drinking more than smoking, and he didn't. Complete opposites, yet fit each other so well.
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Your mother told you it was best for you to get a therapist (one that knows about jujutsu.) so that they could help you. (it worked for a bit, but can you fix what was already broken?) Later, you got diagnosed with Anxiety, they told you to take medication for it, you did. (You never liked taking pills. After the incident with an old friend you couldn't handle them.) All of this was never told to Suguru. Not like he would care, right?
Why would you tell him? it's not like the two of you were dating, if anything, he was more interested in her. (You wouldn't blame him, Nakamura Kyouko was a beauty.) Why would it bother him that you don't tell him anything? Why does he get jealous when other guys flirt with you? why does he act like your boyfriend when he isn't? You don't understand Geto Suguru.
He has her. But why does he always keep coming back to you?
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Then there was the fight, the one between you and him. The one where he couldn't hold back and tell you everything he thought of you. You weren't even sure what started the the fight, but you were sure that you lost the moment he brought up how useless you were, he was comparing you to how she could do better then you. (Why did Suguru bring her up? Kyouko made sure that she didn't have a thing with Suguru, that instead she wasn't ready for a relationship at all. You couldn't blame her. not when he was right.)
"Do you understand what I'm saying? you're weak, [name]. You always have been! Why can't you get that through your thick skull?! You put others before yourself. You don't even have a grade level! You're useless in the jujutsu world. What more do you want to know?! Huh?" you see even sure if he was yelling or not, to inside your mind to figure it out.
"There's a reason as to why, Geto. There's a god damn reason as to why I don't have a grade level as a jujutsu sorcerer. You wanna know why Suguru? Huh?! You wanna know why the ever loving fuck I don't have a grade level like the rest of you all?! Because as of the time I'm living and willy be living, I am considered a threat to the jujutsu world. My technique hasn't been used since eons! No one is sure when my technique is ready, no one knows when I'll lose control and kill everything single fucking living think I come across of. Get through your thick fucking skull Geto." tears starting coming out of you, harsh. You didn't want to cry infront of him. Because if you did, the he would've known that he won the argument. So you did what you've done best.
You left.
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Now that you think about it, you missed it when it was just you and him, with no care in the world, where you were still in a complicated relationship with him. Where the only argument you had with him that was serious was when he kissed you with him smelling like cigarettes.
"C'mon Sugu, don't kiss me on the side walk! Everyone's gonna see and it's crowded here!" you would pout at him, which made him weak in the knees
"[nickname], it's my only break I have where—" "Where you can smoke, yadayada, just... don't smoke and then kiss me?" you ask, lips kissing his nose.
"Of course," he smiled at you, you smiled back.
You missed those days.
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Now that you were out of your head, the alcohol making you dizzy, and looking at the sunset, you realized that you weren't cut out to be part of this hell. After leaving the fight with Suguru, you avoided him and then avoiding going to school altogether, you started going to therapy more often (it helped i little, then it didn't, you were later diagnosed with depression. Yay.) then dropping out of therapy after.
You knew that, what you were doing was the better option for everyone and yourself. You wrote letters to everyone in jujutsu high (including the higher ups, but you just cursed them out and told them that in the next life you would kill them with your own hands.) and You left your dorm at night, opting to to stay at an inn under a different name. You wrote two letters to Suguru that night. Only heading back to the school dorms to leave them on his door.
Now standing up in the rooftop, you decided to turn around, not facing the sunset, not looking down at how high the building you broke into was, instead, you closed your eyes and fell backwards.
With not one care in the world.
(NOTICE FROM THE JUJUTSU HEADQUARTERS; [lastname] [firstname], the unregistered grade sorcerer is no longer a threat. please get rid of any file related to her.)
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NOTES ; half of my blog is literally angst related. i can NEVER write happy and fluffy things, except for saiki..... i love writing angst like alot idk i think while listening to music and then boom angst idea! anyways, please tell me if you enjoy this price i wrote this one lil an hour, also send reqs in my ask box!! i'm bored!!!
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demodraws0606 · 3 months
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WxS THEORY : Rui is driving himself into a corner
Ok I needed to make a big rambly analysis post again because I just read this post that absolutely rotted my brain (pls check it out) -> https://www.tumblr.com/sankatsuka/741871319388389377?source=share
I kinda want to share my overall thoughts on how Rui is being written overall and what I think it could possibly lead to.
Introduction.
So okay... we can agree how colorpalet writes Rui is weird as shit right ?
Like, this is very obvious when you look at Rui's two most recent events Backlight and Curtain. Both of them actually end on cliffhangers, leaving things open ended with hints at future problems. In fact Curtain Call's consequences haven't been fully addressed yet as Rui still hasn't talk about Asahi to WxS and we know he's coming back.
However, it's not just that that could be pointed out as strange, in fact, in both of these events Rui fails.
In Curtain Call, he fails to understand his own feelings as he accepts to join Arcland.
In Backlight, he fails to understand how to fix the issue in the movie
Not only that but those events both show Rui isolating himself from WxS (with varying levels of severity) trying to figure out the problem and fix it. Often to the point where WxS get mildly concerned for him and want to help him (again with varying levels of severity).
Both of these events seem to show that Rui is stuck on something, there is a reason why he can't seem to solve the problems that he's facing weither major or minor.
So, clearly there is a reocurring problem right ? If Rui seemingly keeps on failing then colorpalet has to be setting up something.
With Curtain Call it seemed like what they were setting up was some kind of confrontation about the disbandement but Rui is weirdly set aside in the Emu's event. Which it doesn't feel like a mistake considering they chose to make it an Emu event instead of Rui on purpose when they couldn't have it be a Tsukasa focus.
In Happy End, Rui's communication with WxS is very limited. His feelings never get personally confronted as he mostly just attempts to try and fix the situation until he's met with rejection to which he just very much gives up. It's only when Emu's brothers offer an olive branch that Rui finally jumps at the opportunity to speak.
However, despite it being a hopeful step forward...it doesn't fix Rui's issues here. In fact he withdraws from even speaking about his situation with Asahi which for me is the baseline of Rui being honest with his feelings.
Sure, he does end up helping in Happy End and his feelings are reafirmed but...he also fails here. His first plan to keep them together fails because he didn't communicate with them, it's Emu's brother that truly end up coming up with a solution at the end.
So what is Rui's problem ? What is the red flag that colorpalet keeps waving ?
2. A concerning pattern
Post-Curtain Call helped highlight a very clear pattern with Rui.
It's a toxic mix between his abandonnement issues and self sacrificing nature.
Rui gets insecure a lot about how his potentialy missgivings could affect WxS, to the point where it's become a concerning pattern.
-Dazzling Light Event (and Nene Canary Event) : Rui gets insecure over not being able to be a suitable director for Tsukasa and hurting his acting in the process. This insecurity comes back again in Nene's fourth event in Rui's side card story.
-Shibuya fes with Mafurui : He almost hurts his fucking leg because he couldn't bear the idea that he could inconvenience WxS
-Disbandement Arc : He refused to talk to WxS about his feelings and still hasn't talked fully about them with Asahi. He literally isolated himself to make a plan to keep WxS together behind their back.
All of these show that Rui still has this fear that he could do something that would set him apart from WxS and that often influences his actions.
Rui's issue here is a lack of priority and a self sacrificial nature that borderlines on self destructive at some poiints. Everything he does is motivated in some sense by WxS.
Recently when he mentions his dreams and ambition like in Tsukasa's most recent event, he wants to make WxS shine. It's the subject of one of his early second art stickers.
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"I'll bring out your strength"
Which... let's talk about Rui's dreams and amibitons.
3. Rui and his dream
A lot of people characterise Rui as extremely passionate which is true....or is it really ?
Okay here me out, I don't think we can deny he definitely has a lot of passion for what he does but we can't deny there is definitely something going on.
First of all, Rui is the only character where we don't really have an event of him trying to progress towards his dream, backlight is the first one and it shows him failing.
Second of all, Rui is the only one to have been ready to compromise his dream for WxS which has not been the case for anyone else in WxS. Sure Emu left Pheonix Wonderland, but she knows she'll come back eventually.
Which like leads me to this realisation with his second event specifically it's name, Revival My Dream.
The event where we see Rui at his happiest, fully comfortable in where he was compared to now.
His dreams has never just been to bring people smiles, what he always wanted was a way to connect with people with shows to have a group of friends that actually liked him and didn't reject him for being weird.
But he was bullied into accepting that he didn't actually care about other people, he rationalised that maybe accomplishing his dream alone would make him happy but his friends are part of his dream.
It's this conflict between his dream and his relationship with WxS that is fucking him up especially post-curtain call.
He has to support WxS, he has to be the reliable one, he has to figure out how they can still stay together...
But why ? Why does he put that responsibility in himself
Even then in the Backlight event he's so obsessed with finding the answer himself
Because he's still on that mindset, similar to wonder-halloween just a lot less severe. WxS saved him and they mean the world to him that he'll just allow to be trampled just to make them happy. In fact you see that with even more simpple fun moments with how he ate Touya's rancid cupcake just to make him happy, it's shown time and time again he will sacrifice his own needs for the needs of others to a dangerous point.
4. What it means for Rui's future
I think all these things will end up catching up to Rui
We saw this with Tsukasa, we saw his ups and downs of trying to improve and fight his insecurities led to him having a breakdown.
All these things just keep on building up and colorpalet is very unsubtle with how strange they are with his sad expressions in the tetrad 2dmv and his trained cards (which i can go deeper into).
This could go again in different ways but eventually WxS will have to confront him about it, finally make him communicate his feelings for once.
Again we still have Cyberpunk Deadboy and what it could signify for the future of Rui's arc which I already talked about
It's all just really strange and weird there are even stranger things that i could talk about but i'm eepy so i'll leave it at that lol
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Note
Hey I absolutely adore your Indian James headcanons can you do some for Harry too please <33
Okay this got too long so it's only Harry's first year at Hogwarts. At some point I might do the rest of his years but yeah. Here you go, i hope you like it :)
The first time Harry noticed his skin was darker than the people on Privet Drive was when he was four. The first time he noticed people sneered at him for it was when he was five and a half. He didn't understand it; why did they think the colour of his skin meant that he was inferior to them? He heard the words chee-chee and brownie thrown around like Dudley threw his food, and quietly pulled his shirt tighter around himself.
When Harry is eight, Dudley and his gang throw him in a ditch and throw dirt and soil on him till he's coughing and tears are running down his face. "You blend right into the mud," Piers laughs at him. The next day, the boy turns up to school with black skin. Harry sits in the corner and turns his face away, a secret grin playing on his lips.
He comes to Hogwarts, and there are so many colours. He is approached by Parvati on the second night, and she asks him if he's excited for Ganpati Chaturthi. He stares at her, and then says, "I'm sorry, but I don't know what that is." She gets offended, but they haltingly talk it out, awkward and stilted like most eleven year olds. When she realises that he's been kept from his heritage and his magic, she flies off the rails with anger. "That's it," she says, "we're friends now. No arguments."
Harry loves talking to Parvati. She's the one that tells him his father was from India. She's the one that tells him the names of his grandparents, that tells him of the importance of heritage in the magical world. They talk about religion and food and all sorts of things, and within two weeks Harry is asking her to teach him Marathi. It's hard at first; the grammar structure is more like French than English, the alphabet sequence is weird and complicated and has too many letters, but he keeps practising his svar and vyanjana and kana and matra. He will do this, he tells himself. (He doesn't tell Ron. He wants this for himself, he thinks. His family, his heritage. He wants to learn before he shares, and so he doesn't tell Ron. For now. He will, when he knows enough.)
Slowly, he starts talking to other Indian kids at Hogwarts. Padma, a seventh year Slytherin named Aarzoo who's Muslim and always has the prettiest hijabs, Gryffindor Kalyani from fourth year and Hufflepuff Rushabh from the third. Kalyani is from Maharashtra just like the Patil twins and Harry, Rushabh is from Gujarat and Aarzoo from Punjab. Harry finds it fascinating that India has so many different cultures and religions, and demands knowledge from them. Aarzoo laughs, and tells him he should have been with the 'Claws.
Harry disagrees. He was supposed to be in Slytherin, he knows, but he is in Gryffindor, where his family had been. His family had been Indian. He wants to know everything about it. If he couldn't have his parents, he would have that which had been a major part of his father's life. And so he reads and observes and studies and asks questions— hesitating at first in case they yell at him (Aunt Petunia hated questions and he feared these people would be the same), but slowly he asks more and more. He talks for hours with Kalyani and Rushabh, and they tell him about Garba and Dhol Tasha, Ganpati Chaturthi and Diwali, Eid and Gudi Padwa. They talk about the languages of India, and Harry immediately asks Aarzoo to teach him Urdu and Hindi. She laughs, and says he should focus on Marathi first. He pouts, but nods.
The Mirror of Erised shows him his father, and he can't take his eyes off. James Potter is a tall man, bulky frame covered in muscles and warm brown skin that seems to glow with happiness. His eyes are light brown, and the bold black lines drawn under them make the green specks stand out. He's dressed in what Harry knows is called a kurta, white and gold threads woven to form images of peacocks and elephants and other intricate designs. The next day, Harry asks Padma what she lines her eyes with, and she promptly hands him a little round metal box and a tiny wooden stick. "It's called kajal." She tells him the differences in pronunciation between Hindi and Marathi, and shows him how to apply it. Harry wears it everyday. It makes his eyes look bright, brighter than they already are, and he falls in love with it. Kalyani presses a kajal covered finger behind his ear every morning. "For good luck," she tells him, a grin playing on her pretty lips. Harry flushes, and smiles back shyly.
For Christmas, Aarzoo gives him perfume. It's chandan and mogra with hints of rose, she says, "and your grandfather made it. His name was Fleamont Henry Potter, and he was an exceptionally talented potioneer." Harry wears it religiously. Padma and Parvati band together and get him books on the Potter family and their historical importance, and he almost cries. Rushabh promises to teach him how to play Garba, and Kalyani gives him a cookbook for everyday Indian foods— breakfast and lunch and a few fancy stuff. Harry hugs it to his chest and thanks her with shining eyes. (he may have a bit of a crush on her. He can't help it— she's really smart, and she's pretty.)
Throughout the year, all of them work to introduce him to Indian food. At first, he thinks it will be easy. It is not. There is no such cuisine named Indian, Parvati tells him sternly. There is Punjabi, South Indian, Mughlai, Maharashtrian, North Indian, Bihari, Bengali and so many more. "The food in India changes with every twenty kilometres of travel," Aarzoo says when he mock complains about it. "It's never the same, and that's what makes it so special." He agrees.
The end of the year arrives, and Harry is still weak from his tryst down the trapdoor. When Ron and Hermione aren't present, his friends from home (because that's what India is, isn't it? His home. The home he never got to see, but is no less a part of him.) crowd around his hospital bed and have long talks with him, filled with banter and laughter. His Marathi is so much better now than it was in September, and he blushes when Kalyani compliments him on it. Rushabh winks at him, and Harry throws a pillow at him, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks at being caught out.
On the last day of school, he hugs Aarzoo around the waist and cries into her stomach. It's the first time he calls her "Aarzoo Tai", and she smiles widely, her own eyes dripping tears. "You will write," she says sternly, "okay? This might be the end of my Hogwarts years, but you are my little brother." He cries harder and nods, refuses to let go until the very last minute.
Harry goes back to Privet Drive with a heavy heart and a proud smile. He isn't inferior to the people there, he knows. He's special. He's Indian. He's James Potter's son, and he's going to live up to it.
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bonny-kookoo · 1 year
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Jungkook: Velvet Heart 🔞
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There's something wrong with Jungkook.
Tags/Warnings: Yandere AU, Idol!Jungkook, captivity, emotional manipulation, violence (not against mc), injury, medication and abuse of such, obsession, OCD, blackmail, very shady ways of the company in regards to JKs issues, fluff but its.. You'll see, NSFW mentioned but not descriptive
Length: Short
!! Disclaimer: I do not believe Jeon Jungkook to be like this, God no. This is pure fiction, and meant to be seen as nothing but entertainment. Thank you.
♥━━━━━━━━━━━♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
Jungkook has always been an odd kid.
But nowadays, there's no denial that there's something terribly wrong with the now young adult. He's social when needed, a perfect actor in front of the media, shows himself as both sexy and cute to please a broad variety of fans. But he's not quite right in his head, and everybody knows.
Onve you know what he's capable of, what he's already done, that smile of his looses its innocence. Those eyes of his change in their sparkle. His grin is no longer cute- it's dangerous. Menacing. Like a wolf snarling in your face.
It's not a smile of happiness. It's more like a warning.
No one's ever allowed in his hotel room - not even room service. He himself actually has a habit of bringing along his own bedsheets, so you'll never leave a trace of yourself anywhere, but at his own home, he shares with you. If he has to bring you along to schedules, no one's allowed to look at you, speak to you, nothing. You're basically to be treated as invisible. Only he can ever interact with you.
And you? Well.. you don't have many memories apart from him.
Found by him at the side of a lake, washed up from your own failed act of jumping out of life, you'd suffered harsh injuries to your brain, leaving you with not only amnesia, but other problems as well. When he'd taken you home, late at night, you couldn't even talk, didn't know how to hold cutlery. He'd instantly done his own research, had looked up ways and therapies he could manage by himself- and so, he somehow helped you learn to exist again.
Maybe that's why you're so attached to him. Horribly so.
You still have a hard time speaking most of the time, but he understands you just fine. Or maybe he doesn't care. You don't mind.
You remember however, when you'd learned the word 'hate'.
You'd spoken it to him one day, randomly to ask what it meant, and he'd suddenly developed an entire mental breakdown. Hands on your shoulders slightly shaking you on the couch, eyes wide open and filled with terror. "No." He said, chanted almost. "No, no, no, no, no!" He shook you, back and forth. "Dont say that, don't ever say that to me! Ever!" He barked before he stilled. "I know you hate me. Everybody does. It's because I'm me, isn't it?" He'd laughed, shaking hands holding your cheeks, before they held your neck. "You do, don't you? You hate me?" He smiled, but you shook your head. He copied the action, amused, emotions all over the place. "No?" He chuckled. "You're such a liar, princess." He laughed, thumb running over the front of your esophagus, before his hands traveled again, forcing your face to look at him. "Thats fine. I still love you." He mumbled. "I'll always love you." He grinned, before kissing you softly.
Sometimes he's like that.
Jungkook doesn't trust anybody, not even himself. He's terrified of loosing you, has invested in a simple portable camera to set up in the hotel room wherever you might stay, so he can watch you like now, as he's getting his makeup done. Everyone, including the other members of the band, know this isn't good. This isn't healthy. But he's a major part of the success they all have.
If he's exposed as a high-functioning sociopath who's keeping someone hostage out of twisted love, everything would crumble to ashes.
So reporters are paid off if they ever find hints. Lawyers are always on call if things go south, or if Jungkook breaks another staff's jaw for accidentally mentioning you. Psychologists are there if one of the members has to watch the youngest pull someone's teeth out from their throat again after snapping out of control because the guy had been smiling at you.
Jungkook had even expected a thanks for it. He'd saved the guy's life, after all.
It's not healthy. Not at all.
But money rules the world- and Jungkook makes them all a lot of it.
Without him, the house of cards will fall and burn.
♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
On the twelfth of January, he always celebrates with you.
You don't know why, and you also dont know what. You're sure you know it's not your birthday, and neither is it his, but then again, you don't really care either way. You live from one day to the next, and you exist because Jungkook wants you to. So you're happy when he's happy.
"Do you like it?" He smiles, holding out another spoonful of cake to you. You happily accept it while your legs swing back and forth from the height of his lap. He likes feeding you. It reminds him of the earlier times, when he'd just found you. Sometimes, when he's feeling gloomy, he'll Revive those old habits. He'll help you eat, help you clean your face or brush your teeth.
He loves reminding himself that without him, you'd be read. Rotting next to the waters, eaten by bugs and torn apart by animals.
Instead, you live a lavish life under his watch, enjoying what the world has to offer every day. He's trained you like a dog, after all these years. He can trust you. You won't ever run away.
You're way too scared without him, after all. As you should be.
You fall asleep in his arms a bit later on the hotel bed, filled with sweets and his love, while he scrolls for some stuff on his phone. He smiles when he looks at a photograph from the news on the TV he took on his way home one day.
[Missing girl officially declared dead after only one year and two months, police reports. Parents: "we want to move on." All investigations closed as of yesterday, as the case comes to its end.]
Recorded on the 12th of January, three years ago.
♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
It's quiet around him, these days.
With the lawsuits wrapping up behind closed doors and far away from the public eye, fans worry about the maknae due to his silence. Meanwhile, he himself couldn't be happier, having spent the third day in a row waking up late during the day next to you, sleepy as ever, still resting. You sleep a lot. Always have.
Sometimes more, when he wants you to. Then you'll get some help slumbering off from him. He knows how to measure the dosage. He's done it a thousand times.
In his dreams, you sometimes scream. He doesn't know why, takes it as a warning to hold you even closer, and when he dreams such things, he will be restless. He will sleep with his length inside your warmth, as far as it goes, so he can stay as close as humanly possible with you. He doesn't mind the mess you both make.
It's proof of your love.
Sometimes he wants to take you outside. Go to dinner, walk alongside Han River, but then he realizes that you might remember what had happened that Night. You might loose all dependency on him, all love for him, all memories- and it makes him angry at himself, makes him pull his own hair in frustration necause he can never let that happen.
Everybody knows he's hanging on by a thread.
And if you ever step out of line, if you ever leave-
That fragile little chain keeping him grounded will snap, freeing the beast.
♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
Will you ever be free? Do you want to be?
If freedom is away from Jungkook, will it ever be enjoyable?
You don't have to think about that. Not when his hands hold your wrists down into the mattress so hard they will surely bruise. Not when he almost growls like a predator at every thrust he pushes into you. Not whe he kisses you like he doesn't care about breathing.
Not when he's got you all chained up to his side, like a dog, loved and loyal.
You exist for him.
You're alive because he wants you to be.
You've survived because he loves you more than anyone else ever could.
You're his.
And don't you ever forget it.
♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
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acourtofthought · 3 months
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I'm going to try to make this the last post where I address this but I'm starting to get frustrated with the narrative that Elucien's should just accept Az and hold in him high regard because "we're on the same side".
Yes, Elucien's and Gwynriel's both share a common goal of being Anti E/riels and we often create posts both sides like because of it. I think it's very clear to both groups that Az with Elain is a ship that exhibits major red flags.
But that's not the reason I ship Elucien, just because Az is bad for Elain so Lucien wins by default.
I actually like Elain and Lucien as individual characters. I think they'll be fantastic together but standing alone I still love them.
Just because I see that Az is setup to be healthier with Gwyn, that does not make up the sum total of his character. His interactions with Gwyn or Nesta are minimal compared to how he is with everyone else.
I think it's safe to say that a good number of Gwynriels support Elucien but don't necessarily like Elain. I joined a FB group that was Pro Gwynriel / Pro Elucien and ended up leaving for the vitriol that was spit Elain's way. It did not feel like a safe place to ship Elucien when I was constantly seeing others drag her.
And I think some in the fandom forget that Elucien's have witnessed this behavior for YEARS, even outside of E/riels. Some Gwynriels have thought nothing of the Elain slander or dislike they participated in and Elucien's have had to sit and just accept it.
Though this is a character SJM herself created and said shares her real life energy. Though this is a character SJM spoke of having a book long before Az was ever discussed as possibly getting his own, we were still forced to listen to her character be torn apart.
And now the Az getting a book chatter has increased tenfold and some Elucien's have started to speak out against Az's behavior.
SJM wrote it so that neither Elain or Lucien has ever said anything negative about Gwyn or Az.
But she did write Az as being problematic towards both Elain and Lucien.
If Elain and Lucien are someone's favorite ship and they genuinely have love for their characters, do Az stans TRULY believe we're supposed to show Az the same respect we do for Lucien?
When Az said Lucien wasn't good enough for Elain?
When Az said Elain couldn't handle the darkness of the Trove?
When Az didn't care whether Lucien murdered Graysen or when Az was fine being arrogant over defeating Lucien in the Blood Duel?
Please take the time to consider why Az's behavior towards Nesta or even Gwyn doesn't erase away Az's past behavior towards everyone else for some of us? Towards his own High Lady? The way he acts towards Helion? Please understand why not all Eluciens would care to see Az getting his own HEA with a female he JUST met and has shown no romantic inclination towards yet as he's fixated on Mor and Elain while Lucien continues to suffer with his unfulfilled bond and Az believes Lucien isn't good enough for her anyway.
I understand why Az stans are pumped for his book but please do not act like we should all be on the same side just because we are both Anti E/riels. Don't act like we're suddenly trouble makers because we're calling Az out for the wrongs we'd like to see righted and for what would be justice for Lucien's character, if Az did have to see him happy with his own mate before Az was granted the gift of his own.
Az could get his own book next and Elucien's will have to deal with it but stop acting like Elucien's who have been waiting for their story to be told since 2016 and whose favorites are constantly being belittled within the fandom (Lucien from E/riels and Elain from some Gwynriels) aren't well within their rights to be a little irritated by Az at this point.
This isn't even an Anti Azriel post because I realize that he will be redeemed and get his HEA. But let's not pretend there's not valid things he needs to atone for.
For us, it's not just about proving E/riels wrong but for Lucien's suffering to finally come to an end. For the Elain haters to finally reconsider.
After nearly a decade, you'd think there'd be a little more understanding for Elucien's and why they're not mooning over the possibility of an Az book being the next book.
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rae-blogging · 5 months
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CROSSING LINES: Prologue
pairing : park jongseong x fem! reader, park sunghoon x fem! reader
genre : angst, fluff and smut
word count : 700 (for the prologue)
format : series (not in lowercase)
synopsis : jay and y/n are content in their happy relationships with minjeong and sunghoon, blissfully ignorant of each other's presence when an accident turns their lives upside down. was anything ever the way it had seemed?
contains : themes of death, infidelity, heartbreak, unhealthy coping mechanisms, sexual harassment in upcoming chapters, jay being a complete jerk who def has anger issues, y/n being extremely delusional and naive
a/n : it has been ages since i've really sat down and written, but i had wanted to write this for a while now so here it is. this is based off a show called 'bepannah' which despite its flaws i was absolutely in love with, jay and y/n's characters are heavily inspired by those of aditya and zoya so if ridiculous anger issues or seeing jay be petty and horribly mean is not something you'd like to witness, i'm sorry.
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Park Jongseong had only ever been sure of two things in life:
Flying 
Kim Minjeong
And he couldn't ever come to a conclusion about the order. It didn't matter, though, because the only person he needed to understand that was always by his side, his best friend, his girlfriend, Minjeong. With her, Jongseong could be Jay; he could be childish, immature, and whiny. He could be flawed. He could be more than the arrogant heir of Park Industries.
Jay didn't honestly remember when he fell for Minjeong; all he knows is one day she was singing along to Harry Styles in his car, and the next, they were tangled on the back seat, her voice whispering a confession he could only smile in response to. For Jay, the transition was easy, and their relationship was effortless because, to him, despite everything, Minjeong was his best friend above all; she knew him inside out, and he, her. Nothing could ever change how he felt about her and how he felt with her.
Why then was he standing, trembling on this unassuming street of Seoul, with his darkened eyes fixated on the dead body of his girlfriend and a stranger right now? Their hands intertwined. Rigor Mortis, the doctor whispered, not even bothering to glance up at Jay before he turns to the team of detectives at the scene.
Jay could barely feel the glass shards from a stray bottle crackle under his feet as his body unwillingly staggered back, only then realizing there was someone behind him. His body turning around, and he blinked at the hazy silhouette he saw on the ground, his vision blurred by the thick sheen of tears covering his eyes that he didn't even register were there.
His mind still trying to make sense of the situation when his eyes meet your reddened ones, his ears suddenly becoming aware of the sound of loud sobs. Your frame kneeled upon the muddy ground whimpering while one of the detectives tries to console you and get you back up. Jay can catch a few words from the conversation, his mind too muddled to pay attention when you try to push past the cop towards the bloodied bodies.
“It's my fiancé! You don't understand! Sunghoon!” You cry, and Jay wonders for a second if he should be screaming too. His body unable to react or respond to the sight, his eyes blankly falling at the ground where his girlfriend now lays dead. Her face somehow free of any major scarring; she looks just fine, and he almost calls out to her like he can hear you do for the man in the background. His eyes once again darting towards the intertwined hands of Minjeong and Sunghoon as he stares lifelessly. She wasn't wearing her ring.
He can faintly hear the sound of a few detectives whispering, his brain barely able to piece certain words together, but he could guess their words as he stared at your frantic self overwrought with emotions that Jay hadn't even acknowledged yet. He saw how you vehemently shook your head to something one of the policemen said and your tearful but firm voice piercing his ears as he clenches his fist at your words.
“They were just sharing the cab!” You protest, trying to wipe your tears, but more keep falling. “She was- she scared, she must have been scared, she must have asked for a lift" You sniffle, trying to sound sure of your words as your eyes meet the sympathetic ones of the policeman in front of you, his gaze angering you as you gulp down tears, "Some women have to be like that, they- she must have been running away from home, so, so he held her hand; she must have- she must have asked him to. Sunghoon is kind, he's really nice like that, he-”
Anger finally flickers on Jay's face, his presence left unnoticed as he clenches his jaw at what you say, his voice cutting through your heart as you immediately jump back, not having even realized he was standing there.
“Your fiancé cheated on you.” His voice is sharp and almost hollow, and you can feel faint memories of earlier this morning resurface at his appearance. Memories that suddenly seem of a distant past. “Your nice, kind fiancé cheated on you with my girlfriend.” His cruel words of disdain making you open your mouth in immediate denial and anger, but he doesn't let you. “You are an ignorant id-” His words getting cut off by a wary detective, “We are taking the bodies to the hospital for an autopsy; if there's any immediate family, you can inform, please do it now.”
Your hands immediately fiddling before you ask hesitantly, “Did he- did he- did it happen immediately after the car crash?” The detective sighs, “We can't be sure yet, but the doctor seems to think so, yes. Both seem to have died at the spot right after the accident. We'll find out more once we take them to the hospital.”
Jay's lifeless gaze flits over the ambulance his girlfriend is in. His dead girlfriend. Just a few hours ago, he had been out buying a birthday gift for her. And a few hours before that, Minjeong had woken him up after opening all the blinds and teasing him when he protested.
“Don't be a baby," she grinned. "You know I have to leave for Busan for the art exhibition soon. Now get up!"
Jaw clenched, hands balled up into fists as Jay realized how easily she had lied to him. Was any of it ever true?
“You can't think the worst of everything," your voice shakes Jay back to reality, your soft eyes still brimming with tears as you try to console an angry Jay. “I'm sure there's an explanation. Sunghoon would never cheat on me, neither would- would your girlfriend if she loved you. You don't have to take everything as you see it. That's foolish."
Your voice magnetic and firm enough to almost make Jay believe your words, but he could hear the slight waver in your voice, the uncertainty in your lilt, how it sounded more like you were convincing yourself than him.
“You are a fool to force yourself to believe any of that.” Jay's words are flat. “You and I were both cheated on, and right now, I don't know if I am infuriated or devastated, but it doesn't matter because you are neither. You are just a fool whose fiancé probably cheated on her because she was too delusional to live in the real world. Anyone would cheat if they had to deal with someone like you.” Jay's words seem to prick your soul. Your heart wrenching as he walks off, his hand grabbing his phone as he walks out of earshot, and you are left to stand on the once barren road, the quiet buzz of policemen and ambulance not enough to pierce through your thoughts as the words of the stranger seem to reverberate in your head.
Anyone would cheat if they had to deal with someone like you
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theflyindutchwoman · 7 months
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But do you guys not fight because you don't disagree on things, or because you don't think it's worth the bother? Lucy. Yeah? You deserve someone who's worth the effort. […] Do you love him? I mean, we haven't even been dating that long. It's not… He loves you. I know. I know, and I feel like I should love him back. He's so great in so many different ways. It's just… He's just not...
| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.08 - The Collar
After all the hesitancy, the longing, the yearning… the evading of the past few months… Here they are, one small leap away from getting everything they want… from getting together. And it couldn't be more fitting that in the end, all Tim and Lucy needed was to ride together again. This is how their relationship started after all. What forged their bond. Just like it couldn't be more poetic that the same man who decided to partner them up in the first place, is also the one who pushed them back together. Giving them the final nudge they needed to ultimately sort things out between them. To get out of that awkward stage where they were both cognisant of their feelings for each other but didn't know how to move forward. Riding together again means being back on familiar grounds, in a place where they both feel comfortable and at ease. And it shows : it takes them mere minutes before they are back to their old dynamic, joking about how hopeless Tim is. His grumpiness, her fondness… This is inherently them. They do what they do best when together : communicate. That's the one component that was truly missing since their first kiss. They both peel everything back, layer by layer… And what little walls they had left, crumble.
But what makes all of this even more beautiful is that Tim is the one helping Lucy with her feelings… Like she did so many times for him. This is what makes their relationship so special. They genuinely want the best for the other. This is why he is trying to be encouraging when he finds out that Chris wants to buy a house with her, telling her that is an 'obvious next step', even though it is killing him on the inside… Which is not that dissimilar to how Lucy was practically trying to convince him that getting married with Ashley was a 'no-brainer' on paper, despite her feelings for him. It's only once he realises that Lucy isn't happy at all that he intervenes… Once he witnesses how insensitive Chris is, blatantly disregarding her feelings after she just saw a woman being blown up… And yet, Tim never makes it about him or them. This is about Lucy, how she is settling. And he loves her far too much to let that happen without trying to make her see that she deserves better than that.
A point he makes very clear when he sees her getting more and more annoyed with every text messages and listings she receives. This is really the moment where he stops holding back, questioning why she doesn't just spell it out and admit to Chris that she doesn't want to move in with him. And he's not entirely wrong… But it is also deeply ironic since he used to behave the same way with Ashley. Maybe he's a bit hypocritical here. Or maybe he has the advantage of hindsight. He can see how Lucy is doing the same mistakes than he did : everything he tells her could have applied to his relationship with Ashley. He also has her best interests at heart and Tim, at his core, is someone who will fight and stick up for the people he loves. That said, Lucy isn't wrong either : she is trying to understand why she is shying away from committing to Chris. This is the psych major talking. And this is a very good thing : she has been lying to herself for so long, reeling from Rosalind and everything she did to her, denying her feelings, that she needs to untangle and unravel them first. Something she hasn't been able to do since she didn't have anyone to help her with this - until now. She needs to talk things out to process them and that's what Tim does with her. Just like he did back then with Emmett.
His face when she tells him she never fights with Chris… He immediately knows what the issue is. From personal experience but mostly, because he knows Lucy, how passionate she can be… how often they argue. It's part of their banter, of their dynamic. They fight and argue because they care. So for her not to do that in her own relationship is a red flag for him. It's quite telling that when he points it out, her first reaction is to laugh it off and joke - that is, before he asks her if she doesn't fight because she doesn't think it's worth the bother… That's when his words, the truth, really hit her. Her little intake of breath… She's starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Because she used to argue with Chris. She was this close to hitting him when she met him. But somewhere along the way, she gave up. The way Tim calls her by her first name to really catch her attention… telling her she deserves 'someone who is worth the effort', that she deserves better than settling… making sure to maintain eye contact with her to emphasise his point… The chills. The little clench of his jaw… How he turns his head back to the road… It's like he has revealed too much and needs a bit of distance. But Lucy is looking right at him, processing what he just said. His words are indubitably resonating with her.
And that encourages Tim to be even bolder a bit later by asking her if she loves Chris. The way he looks at her before that question - or after… He may be a tad anxious but I think at this point, he has a pretty good idea of what her answer will be. He's not judging her or telling her that she should love her boyfriend : he's simply guiding her, helping her figure things out for herself. And her silence is deafening. Just like it was when Chris told her those three words and she didn't reply. Tim is looking at her expectantly, but she remains evasive, deflecting by pretending that it hasn't been that long (even though it is probably one of her longest relationship). And he can see right through her : he used pretty much the same tactics when their role were reversed and Lucy was asking him if he could picture himself marrying Ashley. Only he doesn't let her off the hook as easily. The fact that the first thing she feels is guilt for not loving Chris back should tell her everything. And it is the confirmation that she stayed with him out of guilt, or at least, a twisted form of it. She can finally admit to herself that she doesn't have feelings for him, despite her best efforts to force herself to… She finally gets to her revelation, realising why she can't, when she blurts out 'He's just not…'. The silent 'you' is so loud and clear. Tim may not have caught on the implication behind that sentence, but she has. The way she turns to watch him and rubs her side, where her tattoo is, just highlights this. After all her denial and bargaining, she has come to that final stage : acceptance. She's allowing herself to accept that she is in love with Tim. And that changes everything. Again. And that's scary. This marks their last conversation in the shop, before the one in front of the station… the one that crescendoes in them taking that final leap together.
(To be continued…)
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thebeesareback · 7 months
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The big Robert Baratheon thoughts
There are several characters within the ASOIAF universe who could comfortably be the protagonist of their own book/series, and GRRM has spoken about how, when writing a character, he tries to see all the major events through their eyes and how it would have affected their lives. Dany and Oberyn are good examples of this, and a shorter book/series could comfortably have either one of them as the main character. If a fic writer is looking for any inspiration, I think a lot could be drawn from Dany in Vaes Toloro.
Another of them is a character who almost seems like a false protagonist in GOT: King Robert Baratheon. The people who don't know him think he's amazing, the people who do know him despise him. He has a fleshed-out backstory, character and the power to influence the plot in many different ways. Yet he's killed off quickly, and I think the fan community often overlooks him as a simple drunken idiot. So I'd like to dig a little deeper.
Robert's life can easily be sectioned into three parts: pre-rebellion era, the rebellion era and the post-rebellion era. Most of what we see comes from Ned Stark, and later we have flashbacks from Cersei which show a much darker and thoroughly rotten man.
To start: Robert is the first born son of House Baratheon, a clan with significant power and influence. He's exactly the kind of young man the Westerosi patriarchal "might makes right" system rewards -- the sort of son Randyl Tarly would love to have. He's an excellent fighter, charming, good looking ("muscled like a maiden's fantasy", oh Ned). There's also a kindness there. When he's fostered at the Eeire he sends for a gift of oranges for Jon Arryn, and although the fruit goes bad, he's not upset and instead plays with the other teenagers. It's silly and funny and the most childish we ever see him.
He isn't always lovely, of course. In Stannis' memory, Robert is unpleasant. He mocks Stannis' falcon and, therefore, Stannis himself. However, Stannis is a miserable shit, and this comment comes after they've spent years disliking each other, so there's obvious bias. Robert seemed to be happy to be away from his family, and so some alienation from his brothers does make sense. Robert and Stannis go through the ordeal of watching their parents die, and it's understandable that this would cause issues in their relationship. Perhaps that's why they pushed each other away. Having a walking, whining reminder of that trauma can't have been pleasant, and the desire to pretend that everything is ok and ignore problems gets more persistent as the years go on.
The third thing we hear about from Robert's pre-rebellion era is his relationship with Mya Stone. I'm not totally clear on the timeline, so I don't know if it's 1. parents' death > 2. Mya's birth > 3. the rebellion or if 1 and 2 are the other way around. Either way, Robert seems to adore his daughter. Ned thinks about how frequently they visited her, and how much Robert enjoyed spending time with her. In a kinder story, Robert would have always been close to Mya. Then the rebellion starts.
There are, of course, lots of things which lead to the rebellion. I don't think Tywin was going to put up with the Mad King for much longer, and Rhaegar felt the same way. Then you have the coalition between the Starks, Baratheons, Tullys and Arryns, and at some point Varys and "Young Griff" would have popped up. For Robert, though, things were straightforward: he wanted Lyanna, and Rhaegar took her away. He remarks to Ned that "Seven Kingdoms couldn't fill the whole she left". It's clear that he didn't actually know Lyanna that well, and it could easily be argued that the reason he worshipped her memory was a mix of affection for Ned and a desire to return to a time where he wasn't traumatised.
Obviously, war is traumatic. That's kind of the point of the series. Everyone who fought in Robert's Rebellion is changed in some way and the scars, literal and metaphorical, run deep. Stannis broods over his "rewards". Ned misses his sister, brother and father. Catelyn is aware of the loss of her betrothed, and Lady Dustin crystalises her rage. Jamie is ostracised and bitter. Jon Connington promises more violence. The list goes on. The things Robert sees during the campaign clearly change him, and this brings us back to Mya.
One of the key themes of the series, most prominently in the first book, is the idea that the innocent should not be sacrificed. That's why Ned works so hard to protect Jon and why he resigns his handship when Robert wants to kill Dany. Something happened to Robert during the rebellion, where his hatred of the Targaryens solidifies so much that it becomes the only thing he really wants. Other things, like his love of his daughter or the belief that children should be protected, all go and he's left with Tywin Lannister and the corpses of Rhaenys and Aegon.
Robert doesn't have to make peace with the Lannisters. In fact, lots of people (the Starks, the Dornish and the people of King's Landing) would be much happier if he didn't. Tywin ordered a horrific thing, and Robert rewarded him. For me, this is where Robert becomes the man we meet in Game of Thrones. He's so broken inside that he does nothing, and tries to pretend that he's still the person he was as a teenager.
After the rebellion, Robert goes on to have plenty more children. If he loved Mya and wanted to see her all the time, after the rebellion he forgets her. And she's the lucky one! Robert must know that Cersei has his twins drowned, he ignores Barra and Gendry, and he only acknowledges Edric Storm because he has to. Then there are the kids who are legally "his", even if biologically they're not. I don't think we ever see him interact with Tommen or Myrecella, and his relationship with Joffrey isn't good. Sure, Joffrey is a little shit, but you could argue that it's partially because of Robert's treatment. Stannis thinks, at one point, that Robert might have killed Joffrey because he hit him so hard.
Why does Robert detach? Well, there's the trauma, the general depression, the loneliness, the disconnect between *conceiving* children and *the actual children*. I think, as well, there's the knowledge that, by allowing Tywin to get away with the murder of the Targaryen children, he's set a precedent whereby the same thing could easily happen to his own kids. If someone needed to get rid of Robert -- and there are people who would like him gone -- they would come after Joffrey, Tommen and Myrecella, and perhaps his bastards, too. He can't protect them, and it shames his chivalric ideals, so he disconnects, doesn't care, and drinks excessively. It might be a way of dealing with guilt, or a way he protects himself from losing anyone else. Ultimately, Joffrey, Tommen and Myrecella are doomed; Edric only escaped sacrifice because of Pylos and Davos, and might well get mixed up in a Varys/"Young Griff" scheme; all of the bastards in King's Landing are killed; and if Gendry survives, it's because of plot armour. Nobody cares about Mya, really.
There's plenty to say about the Robert/Cersei match. Firstly, I'd like to mention how much I enjoy the show-only scene where the two discuss their marriage. It's heartbreaking, well written and beautifully acted, and gives some depth which makes the experience richer.
None of the Lannisters like Robert, with the exception of Tyrion. Tyrion likes Robert because Cersei doesn't, but their creepy and destructive bond is a whole other issue. Ned thinks that Robert was a man with "big appetites", and a clear desire to be loved. It probably means he wasn't ever going to be a good husband, which Lyanna points out (in a line which I cannot imagine a 14-year old ever saying, but I digress). Robert loved the thrill of the chase and the first few weeks of a relationship, but wasn't willing to really emotionally attach to anyone. Perhaps it's because, like with his children, he had to keep people away in case he lost them, like Lyanna.
Cersei is her own woman and, to be honest, not a very good wife. Robert thinks he would have been happy with Lyanna, Cersei thinks she would have been happy with Rhaegar: both are wrong. She starts her wedding day by having sex with her brother; she regularly cuckolds her husband, and then she finishes off by murdering her husband. You could argue that her behaviour is driven by Robert's physical and sexual abuse, and his emotional distance and obvious disdain. I don't think that's incorrect, per se, I just think there's a nasty mix with the two of them. They're bad alone and worse together. They're a toxic, unhappy, traumatised mix, and a solid argument for Westerosi divorce.
Finally, there's Robert's alcoholism and his love of food. There are a number of reasons for this -- the genre's enthusiasm for descriptions of feasts; parallels with Henry VIII of England; possibly GRRM simply likes adding his favourite meals, similar to how he created House Estermont so there could be turtles, because he had pet turtles. Obesity is the sort of thing that's pretty common in middle age men who used to be very physically active, because they had to eat lots to make up their calorie deficit, and when the exercise stopped, the food continued. As for alcohol, it gives Robert an opportunity to forget his (admittedly plentiful) responsibilities and woes, makes him feel like a hero, and gives him an excuse for his abuse of Cersei. He rapes her, and when she brings it up, he says "it was not me, but the wine", then REACHES FOR A BEER. I'm certainly not qualified to talk about addiction and trauma, so if anyone has thoughts on this, please add a comment.
In Shakespeare's Macbeth, the eponymous character snatches the crown at his wife's goading, and then finds that things disintegrate around him. There's a scene in the play where two servants talk about what's going on in Scotland, and one says that two horses fought, and one ate the other. When a monarch is usurped, in literature, nature goes against itself. In real life, revolutions are messy and complicated and difficult. Robert Baratheon fought a rebellion to get his fiance back, whilst others used him and worked alongside him for their own reasons. He was left holding a rotten crown. Abused and abuser, surrounded by toxicity and exuding his own hatred, one could easily create a novel about his disillusionment.
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ivarlover · 1 month
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UNPREDICTABLE
Part 2 (sequel #4 to UNLEASHED, UNDENIABLE, and UNEXPECTED)
Alex + Modern Ivar
Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk
NSFW 18+ ONLY
If you're new here and want to catch up, just go to my pinned master list. The first chapter is UNLEASHED, then UNDENIABLE, then UNEXPECTED, and now UNPREDICTABLE...
This was supposed to be just a one-shot, but here we are. At this point, I have no idea how many chapters this will end up consiating of. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!🔥
Summary: During a hot weekend with your classmate, Alex, and his best friend, Ivar, the two of them had their own fun together. And now, it had turned into an entire relationship between the two of them that neither of them had seen coming. Now, that reality has set in, they navigate the relationship, and all that comes along with it, the good, the bad, and the unexpected. Now that they were just getting into the swing of things and finding their groove, Ivar's ex fiance comes back into the picture, and it seems she is sure to shake things up.
Warnings, The sequel in general: Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), oral, male to male contact and more, a bad case of the feels, language, smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut. 🤣 Each chapter will have it's own warnings.
This chapter: Language, smut, of course, oral, major case of the feels, *inaccurate medical descriptions, diagnosis, and practices,* a disgusting pervert, Ivar being Ivar
Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!
Words: I don't know, but WAY TOO MANY
*Let me know if you want on or off the tag list!*
Note from me: My apologies for how long this has taken, but hopefully, the length of this chapter will make up for it.... ok, who am I kidding? The length of this chapter needs an apology of its own, too. Oops! Sorry!
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The last few days had basically been hell: hell for Ivar, hell for Alex, and really, even hell for Katia. Ivar had been trying to be the patient, understanding boyfriend, but the longer he was away from Alex, the angrier he was becoming.
After Alex had left Ivar's that night, Ivar spent most of the night trying to get him to answer his phone. He decided not to drive to Alex's apartment, no matter how tempting, because he knew if he'd been so upset that he'd left without a word, that he clearly needed the time to himself. And besides, he wasn't sure, exactly, why he'd left anyway, because he thought they'd cleared everything up when they were in the car.
He also knew that if Alex was pissed about him getting Katia out of the bathtub while she was naked, he'd have to wait until Alex was calm, because while Katia wasn't someone he wanted to be with, she was still the mother of his child, and Ivy loves her. He couldn't sit back and let something happen to her just because she wasn't dressed. He didn't see her that way anymore and wasn't even thinking about her body. Thus, he knew if that was why Alex left, then maybe it was best they didn't see each other just yet. He didn't want to say anything out of anger that he'd later regret. Just thinking about it pissed him off, and he definitely didn't need to make things way worse by actually telling Alex to kiss his ass if that's what he was mad about. No, he needed a better approach. Surely, Alex knew his feelings for him and how he wanted to be with him and him only.
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Ivar had finally talked to Hvitserk and Y/N about it and got some advice. He knew Alex had talked to Y/N about everything by now. Y/N had a way of putting things into perspective for Alex.
"Look man, all I know is that I sure as fuck didn't leave my room or my comfortable bed at your place to come couch surfing a few days between Y/N's and Ubbe's just so fucking Katia would have you all to her fucking self! I'm sure she's over the fucking moon happy, thinking she's won. You better find Alex, and you better fucking fix this!" Hvitserk spat out to Ivar. "Like, how the hell did you even find yourself in this situation to begin with? You should have let her ass go back to Russia, and you could have just flown out there in the jet to see Ivy every weekend, Shit for Brains! If you'd just ever fucking listen to me, I mean, I am the big brother here, you'd be fine! But no, you fucking think you know everything. I'm telling you, you better fix this! That man loves you!"
"Hvits, you know we have the club to tend to on the weekends. It would have just not been possible to leave here every weekend. Plus, who the fuck says I want to only see my child on the weekends? Oh, and Hvits?"
"Yeah?"
"I know you haven't been sleeping on Y/N's fucking couch! Not once!" Ivar laughed.
Hvitserk snarled and...
Snatching the phone from Hvitserk, Y/N told Ivar, "Look, just go to him, what was it, Shit for Brains? Seriously, you two are so difficult and for no reason. Do you know how lucky you are to have found a love like yours? Now, don't piss it away!"
"But, umm, what if..."
"Ivar, stop. You know I've talked to him. Just go. Do you need me to come watch Ivy for you? I will."
Ivar considered it, thoughtfully, "Umm, you seriously wouldn't umm, mind?"
She sighed, "Get ready. Hvits and I are on the way. We'll be there as soon as we can. And yes, we can stay the night if you need us to."
Hvitserk elbowed her, and gave her a dirty look to which she scolded him by simply looking back at him sternly. He dropped his head and smiled. He knew he was whipped.
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"Katia is already sleeping, and I just laid Ivy down. It should be pretty quiet here," Ivar told Y/N and Hvitserk, standing in his doorway about to practically jump out of his skin. "And if you need anything..."
"Yeah, yeah, we'll call you. Go already before I change my mind and take Y/N back to her place and have my way with her," Hvitserk half laughed.
"Yeah, like you won't still do that anyway here in your room," Ivar laughed. "I just ask that you wash your own sheets this time!" Ivar grinned, and patted him on the back.
"Fuck you!"
"Love you, too, brother," Ivar said as he hugged Y/N. "Seriously, thank you, Babe."
"Hey! She's not your fucking babe!" Hvitserk snarled, "Anymore at least. Not since she found the best Lothbrok," he grinned, smacking Y/N on the ass.
"Ok, ok. Enough already. Go, Ivar, and stop stalling. It's going to be ok," Y/N said, shoving him on out the door. Winking at him, she added, "Go get 'em, tiger!"
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Ivar had been gone for maybe 30 minutes. Y/N and Hvitserk were settled and snuggled on the sofa together, watching TV, when they heard the sound of a bell.
"What the fuck is that?"
"Oh, it must be Katia. Alex told me she had a bell to ring if she needed something during the night and Ivar didn't hear the baby monitor," Y/N informed Hvitserk. "Stay here. I'll go check it out."
"The fuck you will! I'll go with you. She's toxic, Y/N. The last thing I need is her getting in your head. And a baby monitor? Really?" Hvitserk seemed to know her better than anyone.
"At least my stupid baby brother had enough sense to make her room downstairs and not on the same floor with his. I can only imagine the shit she'd try to pull," Hvitserk said under his breath as they got to her door.
Putting her finger to her lips, Y/N whispered, "Listen!"
Behind the closed door, they could hear Katia, "Ivar? Ivar, can you hear me? I just woke up from a really bad dream," Katia whinned. "Can you please bring me a glass of water and my pills?"
"Is this bitch fucking serious? Surely my fucking brother is not this fucking stupid and gullible!" Hvitserk's face was of complete disgust. "It's time she learned tonight."
"Hvitserk! Don't!" was all Y/N managed to get out of her mouth before he slammed the door open.
"Ivar?" Katia asked in the dark.
"Nope. Even better," Hvitserk turned on the lights.
Holding up her hands to block the bright light, Katia asked, "Hvitserk? Wh-what are you doing here?" Y/N walked in the room. "Oh and Y/N? What's going on?"
Ivar isn't here tonight, so we're playing nice. What do you want?" Hvitserk grinned, knowing she was shitting gold bricks.
"Umm, well, I had a bad dream and umm..."
"What are you, fucking 12? Roll the fuck over and go back to sleep. You don't need to call Ivar because of some damn dream!"
"Hvitserk!" Y/N scolded him.
"No, you know I'm right, Y/N, and someone needs to set her ass straight." He turned back to Katia, "He let you stay here because of Alex! Ok? Let's not forget that! Alex convinced him it would be better than you leaving for Russia again. And then, without any apparent conscious of any kind, you go and start playing all the stupid games."
"Games? What games? What are you even talking about, Hvitserk?" Katia tried playing innocent, but she quickly realized it wasn't going to work with him.
Walking a little closer to her, Hvitserk answered her, "You know, damn good and well, what I'm talking about."
"But, Hvitserk, I really d...." She began again.
"Whatever. I really don't give a fuck, anyway, so just whatever," Hvitserk cleared his throat. "Now, what did you need? When you thought it was just Ivar here?"
"Umm, I just l need uh, my medicine," she responded, sounding a bit embarrassed. "Oh, and Hvitserk?"
"Yeah?"
"Despite what you may think of me, I do love your brother, and all I want is for him to be happy."
Y/N name tried to step in front of Hvitserk, but he was too fast. He bent down above Katia, pointing his finger at her, "If that was true, you'd leave him alone. Anyone, who has any sense at all, can see my baby brother is happier than he's ever been. Like it or not, he's in love with Alex, and you, of all people, should know that when Ivar loves, he loves hard. Why would you want to destroy that? You've had your chance, Katia."
"But how can you be so sure Alex can make him happier than I can? He can't provide Ivar with a big family, like he's always wanted. I can."
"Well, for fucking starters, he's never lied to him or manipulated him. He doesn't play games with him and toy with his emotions. He just loves him. Simply. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from him, actually."
"But, Hvitserk," Katia began.
"Ok, that's enough, you two. We're obviously not making any progress like this," Y/N said, finally interrupting her. "Hvits, could you please go get her a glass of water?"
Katia was relieved that Y/N had intervened, "Thank you, Y/N. I'm not sure how much more of that I could take."
Knowing Katia had assumed wrongly of her, Y/N quickly replied, "Oh, just because he left the room doesn't mean you're in the clear. Look, he's right, and you know he is. If you truly love Ivar as much as you say you do, then finally do something selfless for him for a change, and just let him go. You know he's happy. That's why you're doing everything in your power to destroy it, and look, I understand. He's a pretty magnificent man, but you need to come to terms with the fact that your time has passed, and move on." Y/N stared straight into Katia's eyes, making her uncomfortable and causing her to look away. "Katia, I'll be straight forward with you, here," she grinned, "The truth of the matter is, I'm sick of your shit! Period. And where the boys, Alex, Ivar, nor even Hvitserk, can do anything to you, you know they'd never lay a finger on you, I can. It's not beneath me to resort to violence. So, let that sink in, why don't you?"
Hvitserk came in with the glass of water. "What the hell did I miss?" he asked as he saw the scared look on Katia's face and the snarl across Y/N's.
"Oh, nothing," Y/N looked away from her to Hvitserk. "Katia was just saying how sorry she is for all the trouble she's caused." Looking back at Katia, she asked, "Isn't that right, Katia?"
Katia swallowed, her mouth dry, and reached for the water from Hvitserk. "Oh, umm, yes? I guess?" She took her pills and drank nearly all of the water.
"Good. Now, all you need is to stop calling Ivar over a fucking dream like a little girl, and pull your shit together. Good night," Hvitserk said as they walked to the door, and he turned the lights back off. "You can still call if you need anything," he said as he began to close the door, "But, it sure as hell better be something real that you actually need and not some crybaby shit!"
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Ivar got out of his car and leaned back against it, looking at Alex's front door. He started to walk toward it, but then he turned back to his car. He did that at least two more times. What if Alex was still mad? Or worse, what if Alex didn't want to see or talk to him? He knew he couldn't handle much more heartache. He was worried Alex had finally saw what he'd always felt, that he wasn't good enough. He held his head down. What the hell was he even doing here?
He turned around to his car again and opened the car door.
"Are you going to come in, or are you going to dance around in my front yard all night like a mad man?" Ivar heard from behind him.
Ivar turned around, "Oh, umm, Alex. I-I'm, umm, I was just..." Ivar stumbled over his words.
"Pacing a hole in my yard?" Alex half laughed. "Well? Are you gonna come inside?"
Ivar looked up, blushing, "I, umm, I'm sorry. Yes. If that's ok with you?"
Alex motioned at the open doorway, "Ya think?"
Ivar smiled and went to the door. He walked inside and gently closed the door behind him. He stood there at the front door, looking around nervously.
"I won't bite, ya know?" Ivar heard Alex from the kitchen. "I mean, not unless you want me to." They both laughed, and Ivar's nerves eased a little. Alex stuck his head around the corner, "Come in here with me."
Ivar walked into the kitchen and found Alex at the counter with the blender. He sat down on a stool.
"I was about to make some mixed drinks. Want one?" Alex looked at Ivar tentatively.
Ivar swallowed loudly, "Umm, yeah. Uh, yes, please." He watched Alex as he turned around and made the drinks. Alex always made some of the best mixed drinks. He was actually known for it at the bar.
He moved around in the kitchen with flow and ease. He turned back to Ivar for a quick moment and smiled a smile that could only be compared to that of an angel. Damn, Ivar loved that man! He had to make this right.
Alex poured the drinks and turned to give Ivar his. As Ivar grabbed the drink, his hand landed on top of Alex's. He didn't move it but continued to hold onto Alex's hand as they sat the drink down and stared into eachother's eyes. As they let go of the glass, Ivar held Alex's hand in his and never turned away from Alex's gaze.
Holding onto Alex's hand, Ivar pulled him around the counter until he was standing in front of him, still sitting on the stool. He put both of his hands around Alex's waist and pulled him a little closer.
"I'm so sorry," they both blurted out at the same time. "You can go first," they both said, again, at the same time, smiling.
"Ok, ok can I go first?" Ivar asked. Alex nodded his head yes.
Ivar ran his hand through his hair, "Look, Alex, I'm unbelievably sorry for everything with Katia. I promise you that I don't love her anymore. You should know this by now. I only want to be with you. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I hope you can forgive me." Ivar placed his hand on Alex's cheek, and Alex leaned into it before placing his hand over it and gently squeezing. "I'm sorry for how things must have looked. I'm so sorry. But, Alex, I don't want her. I don't love her."
"But it just looked like you did and..."
"Alex, she's the mother of my child. That's all. It's not like that. I..." Ivar interrupted.
"Ivar, let me finish." Alex dropped his head. "It just looked like you did, and Katia knew how it would look, so she just made it worse by rubbing it in my face. I'm so sorry. I overreacted, and I know that. That's the reason I left. I knew I was overreacting, but I couldn't help it, and I didn't want to say something I'd regret." Alex swallowed nervously.
"I do know you better than that, Ivar, and it's embarrassing how I acted, how I let her get under my skin. I hope you can forgive me. It was my idea to move her in, and you even warned me, and then, I turned around and still let her get between us. I'm so sorry."
Ivar was completely stunned. "I, uh, th-this isn't, umm, this isn't exactly how I thought this would go."
Alex stiffened and stepped back away from Ivar. "Oh? I'm uh, I'm sorry."
Ivar stood immediately, recognizing that Alex misunderstood him. "No. No, Alex, that's not what I meant. I, umm, I mean that umm, I was worried that you were still mad with me," he dropped his head in shame. "I know it's just a matter of time before umm, before you finally realize that I'm," he continued to stutter, "That I'm umm, just not good enough, Alex."
Alex stepped back to him, "For what? For me?"
Blushing, Ivar nodded.
"You can't be serious. Of course, you're good enough for me, Ivar! I was mad at you. That doesn't mean I'm no longer mad about you. It doesn't mean I don't want to be with you, or that I don't still love you." He placed his hand under Ivar's chin and raised his head back. "Hey, look at me."
Ivar looked into Alex's eyes, and he instantly pulled him to his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around him. "I love you. I love you so much," he softly said into Alex's ear. "Thank you for loving me." Ivar's heart swelled inside his chest. Saying that he was relieved was an understatement. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
Alex pulled back from Ivar and held his face between his hands before leaning in to kiss him. His lips softly grazed Ivar's as they let out all the love and emotion he was feeling.
The unspoken words between them flowed effortlessly through their movements, soft kisses, and gentle touches. Completely lost in eachother, they held eachother tightly, breathing eachother in. "Damn, I've missed you," Ivar whispered.
Alex smiled, "As I have you. I don't want you to leave, but how long can you stay?"
"Y/N and Hvits are at my place. I can stay as long as long as you want."
"Umm, would you, uh, do you want to stay the night?"
Grinning, Ivar answered, "I thought you'd never ask. Of course."
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Both in sweatpants, they crawled into Alex's bed. His head in his hand, propped up on his elbow behind Alex and looking down at him, Ivar softly spoke, his voice small, "Umm, Alex?" He leaned down and kissed Alex on his temple.
"Yes?"
"Umm, would it be ok if we just laid here together, and I held you in my arms?"
Alex's heart skipped a beat. "Of course. You know that's my favorite way to fall asleep."
"Well, umm, I just mean, well, I didn't want you thinking I'm just after one thing. I just want to hold you."
Alex turned in his arms and raised up and kissed him on the cheek. "After all this time, still worried about my virtue?" He placed his hand on the back of Ivar's neck, smiling.
"It's not that I don't want you," Ivar smiled back. "God knows I do. And I hope I don't disappoint you, but more than that, I've just missed you," Ivar blushed.
Alex pulled him closer and gave him a quick peck on the lips before turning back around in his arms, "I've missed you, too, and I can't think of a better way to sleep. I love snuggling with you. It'll have to be better than the last few nights."
"Oh? You, too? I haven't slept at all the last few nights," he ran his hands through Alex's hair. "Actually, I'm quite exhausted."
"Then you better get some sleep, Mister. We have a birthday party to finish planning," Alex squeezed Ivar's arm, wrapped tightly around his waist.
Warmth spread throughout Ivar's body. Alex truly was an amazing man.
As they laid there, wrapped in a blanket of love, they both finally dozed off to sleep.
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Surprised, Ivar woke up the next morning to find Alex still sleeping. He glanced at the clock and noticed it was 9 am. He never slept in.
As if sensing Ivar was awake, Alex stirred in his arms. "Good morning," Alex mumbled.
"Good morning, sleepy head." They both gave a chuckle.
Alex turned, facing Ivar and kissed him. "So the clock already struck midnight, and you didn't run away, so what's on the agenda? Do you have to leave yet?" he laughed but then saw a more serious look on Ivar's face.
Ivar grinned as he pulled Alex into a kiss and then pulled away. "Well, first," he kissed Alex's cheek, "I thought," he kissed Alex's neck as he rolled over on top of him, "We could," he nibbled Alex's ear and then whispered into it, "Make up for some lost time," and he lightly bit the side of Alex's neck just below his ear, sending chills all over Alex's body.
"Oh-ok," Alex said, surprised.
Ivar raised up above him, "Is that ok with you?"
"Definitely," he reached to the table beside the bed, as Ivar rolled to his side, and took the pills. "You have a few minutes to wait, though, don't you?"
"Of course," he smiled lovenly. "I wanted to run something by you anyway."
"Shoot," Alex ran his fingers along Ivar's bare chest.
"Well," Ivar looked down at Alex's hand, "That may be a bit distracting, but I'll do my best." He smiled and grabbed Alex's hand and brought it to his mouth where he kissed his palm. "You know how we were discussing remodeling my basement and making a playroom for Ivy?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, what would you think of making our own playroom instead? We could use one of the spare rooms upstairs for hers. I mean, she's small and wouldn't need the entire basement anyway."
"What do you mean" Alex's eyes widened, "By our own playroom?"
"Exactly what you're thinking," Ivar smiled his devilish grin. "An adult 'playroom,' if you will, for just the two of us. I'd add a keypad with a pass code to get in, and the door would lock automatically behind you. Only the two of us would have the code so we wouldn't have to worry about anyone coming in on us."
"Wow! Aren't you the naughty one! So if it's a playroom, what kind of 'toys,' would we have?" Alex asked as his curiosity grew. He grabbed a handful of Ivar's ass and squeezed. "Would there be toys I could use on you?"
Ivar gulped, "Umm, we could uh, talk about that. And umm, we'd obviously, need a bed and..."
"Not necessarily," Alex's hand moved around to the front of Ivar and grabbed his already hardening cock through his boxers. Ivar's mouth dropped open with a gasp. "We could always use the floor," he began working Ivar through his boxers, "Or the wall," he breathed hot air against Ivar's lips. His lips brushed against Ivar's as he spoke, "And isn't there some kind of work bench already there?"
"Umm humm," was all Ivar could manage to say as the heat rushed through his body.
"Well, we could use that, too. I'd really love to bend you over it." Alex laughed into his ear. "What was that?" he gently slipped his hand inside Ivar's boxers and grabbed him tightly again. "Was that a yes?"
Ivar only breathed heavily, not exactly capable of producing words as Alex's hand moved briskly along his shaft. "Like that, do you? It's been too long, humm?"
Ivar, shifting to his side, managed to reach to his waist with one hand and slip his boxers down and Alex helped him take them the rest of the way off as Ivar's heartrate increased. They then repeated the same with Alex's. Ivar moved back above Alex, caging him with his body and lubing himself up and then Alex.
As he looked down into Alex's eyes, he said, in a sultry voice, "You talk a big game. Now, it's my turn to try to render you speechless." He lined himself up with Alex's twitching entrance.
"Oh? You promise?" Alex flirted.
And with that, Ivar thrusted his hips forward, hard, straight into Alex all at once, only stopping once he bottomed out. Alex's back arched, his eyes closed as his head dug into his pillow, and he yelled out, "Oh, God!"
"No, it's still just me, Ivar, but I can understand how you could be easily confused," he answered, his evil grin looking back at Alex when his eyes sprung open.
Alex smiled at him and rubbed his hand down his back, sending chills all over him.
Ivar began slowly rocking his hips forward and back languorously, watching Alex's every expression. Feeling embarrassed, Alex covered his face, but Ivar grabbed his hand. "Don't. I want to see your beautiful face," Ivar's voice was soft. Alex felt heat rising to his cheeks. "Nothing is more sexy than knowing your pink cheeks are because of me." He placed his hand on Alex's hot cheek as he leaned down and softly kissed his lips, gently nibbling on the bottom one. "I love you."
Alex was taken back by Ivar's tenderness. Although, Ivar was usually like that with him, there was something sweeter about this that Alex couldn't quite place.
Suddenly, Ivar's movements stopped, "What's wrong, Love? Did I hurt you? Are you ok?"
Alex brushed Ivar's hair back out of his face and tucked it behind his ear lovenly. "Nothing is wrong. Actually, I'm kind of perfect, umm, and it's all because of you. Don't worry. And Ivar?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you, too."
Ivar suddenly felt different somehow. He wasn't sure what was happening, but he knew he just wanted to please Alex. That's all that really mattered to him; not even his own pleasure and release, and that was new to him during sex. He'd always wanted to please Alex, but this was different because he wasn't the least bit concerned about himself.
He slowly began his movements again, never taking his eyes away from Alex's. With every slow stroke into Alex, he just enjoyed the closeness. He interlocked his hand with Alex's that was laying beside him as he rubbed the side of it with his thumb. He held most of his weight on the same elbow as his other hand feathered across Alex's chest, causing goosebumps to appear.
"I can't get enough of the effects I have on your body," Ivar smiled. He ran his fingers lightly across Alex's chest again, admiring, not just the definition, but the flushed red color. "It's intoxicating." All the while, his soft touches were driving Alex wild with desire.
His steady, long, slow stokes into Alex were building the tension in Alex's gut and he knew he was close already. "Maybe you should go a little harder or faster," Alex moaned. "I don.., umm, I don't know how much longer I can last and I want you to finish, too," Alex practically growled the last part.
"Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Just let go. This is about you, not me. I just want to pleasure you. I'm not worried about myself, Love."
"But, Ivar, you deserve to..."
"Shhh," Ivar's lips crashed into Alex's with overwhelming passion. Alex grabbed a handful of Ivar's hair with his free hand and held him forcefully in place, not wanting to break the kiss. They breathed eachother in as their lips massaged the other's. Ivar's hand trailed down Alex's torso to his swollen, throbing cock.
Alex quickly moved his hand out of Ivar's hair and grabbed Ivar's wrist to stop him. Breaking their kiss, he studdered, "N-Not yet. I-I'm too close and sensitive. I want this to last as long as it can."
Nodding in agreance, Ivar moved his hand back up Alex's sweaty chest, stopping to squeeze his nipple between his fingers. Alex's eyes rolled into the back of his head. Ivar continued his feather like touches back up to Alex's cheek, where he rubbed his thumb across Alex's mouth, his plump lips popping lose beneath Ivar's thumb. Smiling at how red his lips were from the kissing, he did it again.
He stared into Alex's eyes intensely, while still slowly moving himself in and out of Alex as his tight walls clinched around him.
Alex took a moment to let his mind wander. He knew that would help him last a few minutes longer, too, and God knows how he wanted it to last! He was enjoying how good he was feeling just a little too much.
He hadn't thought, before now, how erotic it could be with Ivar if they did it all this slowly. But he was surprised. As wonderful as things had been with Ivar, he always remembered how he was when it came to sex. Alex remembered, on more than one occasion, actually, how Ivar had even skipped eating because he was going to have sex with some girl and getting off had always been one of his main priorities.
This was why everyone was so shocked when he'd settled down with Katia. Nobody could believe he was giving up all the one night stands. If Alex was being honest, that was even one of his worries about Katia now. He knew how important she had been to Ivar for him to have given up all that scattered ass.
Now, for Ivar to say he was only concerned about pleasing him and wasn't even worried about himself, Alex knew that it was a major deal. As he thought about the significance, he realized just what Ivar meant by it. He began to really understand just what he meant to Ivar, and he was overcome with emotions. He held back his full emotions, though. He knew that tears during sex with Ivar would not go over well.
He squeezed Ivar's hand, and as Ivar asked, "Are you sure you're ok? Do you need me to stop?" But, not answering Ivar, Alex pulled Ivar to him, hot and sweaty, naked chest against hot and sweaty, naked, chest, and kissed Ivar.
First, he gently grazed his lips, still looking deeply into his eyes, but as he got a taste of Ivar's sweet mouth, he parted his lips with his tongue and let it enter Ivar's mouth to explore. His hand held the side of Ivar's face as the intensity of the kiss increased and their passion grew.
Their breathing sped up, and Ivar reached down between them and grabbed Alex again. He began moving his hand up and down on Alex's length in rhythm with his thrusts, causing Alex to thrust his hips up into Ivar. Alex broke their kiss as he moaned and groaned with pleasure.
Ivar watched intently as Alex's body whithed beneath him, and his face contorted. Alex clawed down Ivar's back, causing his pumping to falter, and his head fell forward, as Alex mumbled out, "Ivar!" between panting.
Ivar continued with his relentless slow movements of hips into Alex as Alex gasped for air. Alex found it so incredibly erotic when he opened his eyes to find Ivar still staring him down as if he was going to devour him like his next meal. His heart skipped a beat. The fierce look in Ivar's eyes made Alex sweat as his toes curled, his legs stiffened, and his back arched again. He dropped his hand from Ivar and gripped tightly into the sheets as his other hand squeezed Ivar's, threatening to stop all blood flow to Ivar's fingers.
Ivar smiled and bit his lip as he realized just how beautiful Alex was as he was coming completely undone. He watched Alex's every muscle tighten and twitch as he slowly drove into him before pulling nearly out and then slowly doing it all over again. He continued to tug on Alex with his sweaty hand acting as lube, his knuckles brushing against Alex's stomach, causing Alex to gasp. As he pressed himself into Alex, inch by inch, Alex made noises that even Alex, himself, did not recognize.
Ivar had never seen a more attractive sight than Alex laying beneath him, squirming and whimpering, unable to form a complete, coherent thought. As he grinned at how he had, indeed, rendered Alex speechless, Alex moaned out, "IVAR! I'm com-coming!" as his chest heaved, and his hand practically dug a hole into the mattress. After reaching his boiling point, Alex's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he lost all control and before he knew it, white streams of his cum shot between their hot, sweaty bodies. Alex started to apologize to Ivar, but Ivar collapsed on top of him, still inside him and ignoring the mess between them, and kissed Alex with overpowering emotions. Alex felt the mixture of love and desire, passion and extasy all wrapped up in the sweet kiss.
Resting his forehead against Alex's, some hair stuck to the side of his face from sweat, Ivar barely broke the kiss and breathed Alex in. He let go of his grip on Alex's hand, and he brought both of his hands to either side of Alex's face. Pushing Alex's hair back away from his face repeatedly for a few seconds, Ivar stared into Alex's eyes again for a long moment before kissing him softly again. Alex's heart melted at Ivar's intense tenderness. It was truly the icing on the cake.
"That was amazing, Love," Ivar softly spoke, almost in a whisper, as he broke their kiss.
Alex cupped his cheek. Desperately trying to catch his breath, he began, "How can you even say that? You haven't had your turn yet." Feeling Ivar still hard and still inside himself, Alex then added, "You know, just because I've already finished doesn't mean you can't keep going. I can handle it."
"Shhh. I told you, this isn't about me. I'm fine. It was amazing just watching you. I enjoy seeing how you react to me. I just wanted to please you."
"Oh, so it's just a power trip for you, humm?" Alex smiled jokingly and then gulped when he saw Ivar's serious expression spread across his face.
"No. I umm, I just love you that much," Ivar dropped his head into the nape of Alex's neck and then turned and kissed his neck with his hot, wet lips. "I just love you."
Alex immediately wrapped his arms around Ivar and held him tightly, "And I love you." He knew he'd think about this entire thing later and analyze the shit out of it. It was so much more than just hot sex with his hot boyfriend. But for now, he'd just enjoy his wonderful, vulnerable, hot boyfriend laying in his arms.
Wild emotions ripped through Ivar like a storm. Of all of the incredible sexual moments he'd had with Alex before, this was, by far, the most unbelievable. And yes, how odd that he hadn't even had his turn, as Alex had put it, but it wasn't even important to him! He just laid there, tightly snuggled up in Alex's arms, and that's all he cared about right now.
Interrupting Ivar's thoughts, Alex, asked, "Hey, all those questions if I'm ok? What about you? Are you ok? You're kind of worrying me."
Ivar raised his head so he could look at Alex again, "I am wonderful, Love," he smiled, warmly. "Umm, you make me, umm," he studdered, "You make me the man I've always wanted to be."
Alex was speechless. Again. As Ivar continued, "Just let me lay here with you. Just let me hold you and just breathe you in."
Alex let Ivar's touching words wash over him like a warm spring in chilly air. He held Ivar even a bit tighter, unable to respond to such tenderness with words. He kissed the top of Ivar's head and ran his fingers through his hair as Ivar snuggled back into the nape of his neck.
They laid like that until they both slowly dozed back off to sleep.
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To their surprise, they didn't wake up for another hour or so. After more sweet caresses and gentle kisses, they showered and got dressed for the day. It took a lot longer than usual because they just weren't able to keep their hands and lips off of eachother. It was like it had been during their first days of being a couple, taking every and any opportunity to touch and feel the other.
"I don't want this to ever end," Ivar smiled shyly at Alex as his face flushed light pink.
"Well, it doesn't have to," Alex responded with a sweet kiss to Ivar's cheek.
Ivar had spoken with Hvitserk earlier. He and Y/N had decided to spend the rest of the weekend with Ivy while Sara worked with Katia. Taking their turn to spoil her was how he'd put it. They'd also volunteered to work at the bar for he and Alex that night. "Y/N thinks you guys just need some more alone time."
Ivar had been concerned about Hvitserk working so closely with alcohol, but he reassured him that he'd be fine because he'd be distracted with the work, and he would have Y/N there for extra support. Only after speaking with Y/N directly and giving her very specific directions did Ivar finally agree to it.
"So, we have the day together? That's awesome! We've finally got some time to ourselves. What do you want to do?" Alex asked him, excitedly.
Ivar raised his eyebrows and grinned at Alex.
Shocked, Alex answered, "You can't be serious."
He walked to Alex, put his arms around his waist, and yanked him to him forcefully as Alex tried to catch his breath. He gave Alex a light kiss, "First, I want to do, again, what we did this morning." He smiled and kissed him on his cheek. "Then, I suppose, we could go see what's going on in town, if you want." He lovenly kissed Alex's jawline. "After that, I want to take you out to dinner somewhere nice," he licked up the side of Alex's neck. "And then, I want to BE dinner. Nothing too crazy. What do you think?" They both laughed.
Alex then realized how very serious Ivar was as their lips smashed into eachother's, their hands interlocked, and Ivar was slowly walking him backwards, toward his room.
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After they spent the rest of the morning in Alex's bed, enjoying eachother, they finally emerged from their blissful haze and actually left Alex's. There was a carnival in town, so they decided to go check it out.
They felt like teenagers again. They played games, ate too much carnival food such as cotton candy and funnel cakes, and, after much convincing that the rides were safe on Alex's part, rode a few of the rides.
As they were in line to get drinks after their last ride, they ran into one of Alex's and Y/N's friends from class. He was with his sister and her two children. "Hey! Alex! How are you? Who is your friend?"
Alex introduced them and they chatted while in line. He was surprised that the two of them were there, but without a kid.
"So the two of you just came to have fun by yourselves?"
Ivar, feeling, surprisingly, a bit territorial of Alex for a reason he couldn't quite pinpoint, answered, holding up their interlocked hands, "Well, this is kind of a date weekend for the two of us. Our daughter is with my brother." He smiled devilishly, and Alex didn't miss it.
Alex was shocked by Ivar's choice of words when referring to Ivy. "Our daughter." It made him feel especially warm and proud.
"Oh, umm," Alex's friend, Paul, answered, "Alex, I umm, I didn't know you were, umm.."
"In love?" Ivar interjected with his intimidating smirk.
Paul looked at Ivar and then back to Alex, "And wow, you two have a child?"
"Yes, her name is Ivy. Her birthday is actually this upcoming week," Alex answered, hoping to calm whatever was going on with Ivar.
"You should come to her party, and bring, who is that? Your children?" Ivar interrupted, to Alex's complete surprise.
"No, they're my niece and nephew and that's," pointing to the woman with the kids, Paul continued, "My sister. My boyfriend and I actually just broke up because he wanted children, and I don't. You guys don't think you're too young to already have a child yourselves? Doesn't that interfere with your relationship? And which of you is her actual, real dad?"
Ivar grinded his teeth together, showing his clinched jaw, and looked to Alex to answer, knowing it was best he didn't at the moment.
"Like Ivar said, she's both of ours. We're both her real dad," Alex squeezed Ivar's hand. "And no, we're not too young. This means we're still young enough to play with her. And she's part of our relationship. She makes everything between us even that more special. I'm sorry you didn't want to experience that with your partner." He raised Ivar's hand that he was still holding and kissed the back of it.
Ivar felt so proud of how Alex answered Paul's questions. Seriously, who did this guy think he was? With his most intimating smirk, Ivar asked, "So, you think you'd like to come to the party next Saturday?" quickly changing the subject.
"I'll talk to my sister and let you know Monday in class, Alex?" Paul finally got the hint.
"Sounds great and I'll bring you an invitation."
He walked away, and Alex turned to Ivar, "What was that all about?"
"What do you mean?" Ivar played innocent.
Alex just looked at him. "What?" Ivar smiled.
"You know exactly what."
"Well, it's obvious he wants you."
Shocked, Alex answered, "What the? Huh? No way! We're just friends. And I didn't even know he was interested in men until right now. "
"Yeah, and now that he's seen you with me, he thinks he has a chance," Ivar snarled.
"Ivar, you seriously have nothing to worry about."
"Oh, I know," Ivar grinned, "I would have never invited him to Ivy's party if I'd thought otherwise." He kissed Alex on the cheek.
"So you were serious?" Alex asked incredulously.
"Of course. You know, keep your friends close and all that shit?" Ivar laughed.
Alex rolled his eyes and took the drinks from the cashier as they walked away. "So Ivy's our daughter, humm?"
Taking his drink, Ivar asked, "Well? Isnt she?"
The rest of the day, into the evening, was spent with them just enjoying eachother's company. Ivar watched Alex's joyful smiles and giggles, and grabbed him up, completely off his feet, to hug him several times. His playfulness was contagious, and Ivar couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so carefree and happy.
He watched Alex play some of the games and how frustrated he'd get when he didn't win. It was really cute. Alex play punched him in the arm, "Stop laughing at me! It's not funny."
Ivar grinned, "Yes, it actually is."
Alex rolled his eyes and continued playing, determined to win. Ivar realized that he was more in love with Alex now than when they first started dating. He didn't know how that was even possible because he'd already never felt like this with anyone else before, but it was true. He'd give his life for Alex. Next to Ivy, there was nobody else on this Earth that he loved more. It kind of scared him, but more so, he was just thrilled to have finally found his soul mate. And that was exactly it. That was why he'd been different with Alex that morning. That's why he didn't care about himself. Alex was his soul mate, and he'd spend the rest of his life making him happy as long as Alex allowed it.
Feeling too emotional for their surroundings, he pushed everything to the back of his mind to deal with later and tapped Alex on the shoulder. "Here, let me show you how it's done."
"What?"
"Watch and learn, Love. Watch and learn." He gave the attendant his money, and she gave him three darts. Looking at Alex and grinning, he threw the first one. He hit one of the balloons, and it pooped.
"You've got to be kidding me," Alex sighed.
"How many do I have to pop to win?" Ivar smiled at the attendant.
"All three for your choice of prize or one more for one of the small stuffed animals."
"Go big or go home. Right, Alex?"
Alex rolled his eyes, "If you say so, but hitting all three isn't as easy as it looks, Ivar."
"Well, let's try and see," Ivar was sure he could get all three. He and Hvitserk used to play this exact game with darts and cans in their backyard when they were younger. When they got too brave and started aiming at cans on eachother's heads, Aslaug stepped in and took the darts away from them, telling them how dangerous and irresponsible it was. It was for this reason that neither of them ever told her about how they'd snuck the darts from her kitchen cabinet and played, secretly, resulting in Ivar having an unwanted ear piercing. He smirked at the memory of how scared Hvitserk had been and how he'd milked it for all it was worth, basically having Hvitserk wait on him hand and foot for the next week until Hvitserk caught on to what he'd been doing.
Ivar aimed and thew the second dart and then the third, popping both balloons. He turned to Alex, "What were you saying? It's not as easy as it looks, humm?"
Alex stood, dumbfounded, "Oh, shut up."
"Well, pick your prize, Love."
Alex smiled and kissed Ivar on his cheek as his face lit up. He picked out a huge, stuffed, pink bear.
Smiling as Alex wrapped his arms around the fuzzy bear, Ivar asked, "So, pink huh? Where are you gonna put it?"
Alex looked at him and laughed, "What? You don't think pink's my color?" He held the bear up to his face and smiled innocently. After laughing at Ivar's curious face, Alex finally said, "Duh, Ivar! This bright pink bear isn't for me! I think it's cute, and I have to admit, I love how soft it is," he cleared his throat as he noticed the strange look in Ivar's eyes, "But it's for Ivy, obviously."
"Oh? Umm, yeah, obviously," Ivar mocked him, smiling.
"It is. That's why I was so frustrated that I kept missing the damn balloons," Alex sighed. "I just thought this would be a nice birthday gift for her from this great day we've had together." And there it was again, that strange look in Ivar's eyes, making Alex nervous. "Umm, did I uh, did I say something wrong? Are you ok? Umm, are we ok?"
Ivar was lost in his thoughts. "Umm, Ivar?" Alex stepped closer and placed his hand on Ivar's shoulder. "Hey, what's going on?"
"Oh, umm," Ivar shook his head as if to snap himself out of whatever trance he was in, "What?"
"Ivar, what's wrong?"
"Wrong? What? Nothing is wrong. Seriously, absolutely nothing."
"Where were you just now? You worried me. You know you can talk to me."
Looking Alex deeply in the eyes, Ivar placed the beer on the counter beside them and pulled him close to him. He wrapped his arms around Alex's waist tightly. Alex wasn't sure what was going on, but he liked it. Ivar finally moved his right hand to Alex's cheek while the other still held him. Just as Alex was beginning to feel even more nervous, Ivar whispered, "I love you," and gave Alex a sweet, passionate kiss, causing him to feel weak in the knees.
When Ivar pulled away from the kiss and rested his head on Alex's, Alex looked up in a daze, licking his lips as if he could still taste the kiss. He wasn't sure what the strange look had been about or why this was how Ivar reacted when asked about it, but he was too lost in a haze to think about it any further.
Still looking into his eyes and practically panting for air, Ivar whispered, "We should go. I've got reservations for us."
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They went back to Alex's to shower and change for what Ivar said would be a nice dinner. They made sure to take their showers in Alex's two separate bathrooms because Ivar said he didn't want to miss their reservations, and he knew if they were together, they definitely wouldn't be leaving on time, if at all. They both laughed in agreement and went to get ready.
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Alex finally came into the living room where Ivar was waiting for him. When he saw Alex in his shiny, black suit and opened, white, collared shirt, he gasped.
"What? Do I look ridiculous?"
Moving to his feet and immediately by Alex's side, "No, never. You look quite the opposite, actually. You look stunning."
As Alex's face flushed red, he looked Ivar up and down. He stood there in a dark, grey suit with the collar also open to it. Alex answered, "Well, you don't look too shabby yourself."
Ivar blushed and told him, "Well, I'd really like to kiss you. You don't know how badly. You're so smoldering hot and quite frankly, irresistible, but umm," he licked his lips, "Like I said earlier, I don't want to miss our reservations. The driver is already out front, waiting for us."
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They arrived at a very elegant seafood restaurant just on the outskirts of town. Ivar knew Alex would love it, sushi being his favorite of favorite foods, so he wasn't at all surprised at Alex's reaction.
"Oh my God! Are you serious? You got us reservations here?"
Ivar simply smiled back at him.
"You know how long I've wanted to come here. How did you even get the reservations? Every time I've tried, the closest date is always like six months out. At best."
"Well, I know a guy who knows a guy," Ivar laughed. "You ready?" But Alex was already jumping out of the car before the driver had even opened his own door to get out. "It's ok, Mike. We'll manage. Thank you."
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Dinner was great and their conversation flowed easily, as it always had. They talked and laughed as they ate what Alex said was the best sushi he'd ever tasted and drank some of the most expensive wine. Alex had protested about the wine, but Ivar said, "I want only the best for you. Don't worry about the price. That's none of your concern. Now, drink."
"Yes, sir," Alex smiled warmly, turning up his glass.
As their dinner was nearly over, the lighting in the place got a bit dimmer, and strobe lights came on, illuminating a dance floor. Alex's face instantly lit up as he looked at the dance floor and then back to Ivar. "Don't even think about it, Love. It's not happening," Ivar hadn't even given him a chance to ask.
Alex looked at him with pouty eyes as he saw several other couples make their way to the dance floor, and Ivar glared at him. "Ok, ok. You're not ready," Alex's eyes casted downward, he quietly said, "I understand." He took a big gulp of the last of his wine. "We should probably go then," Alex said, placing his glass back on the table and standing.
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"Wait. What? No," Ivar panicked. He hadn't meant to hurt Alex's feelings. But he may have been too vague with his response. "I"m not ashamed of you if that's what you're thinking. I-I'm, ugh, I just..."
"It's ok, Ivar. I'll meet you in the car." Alex began to leave before his emotions were too obvious and took over. "Where you can be with me, and nobody sees you. I've got to get out of here!"
Ivar was immediately up and by Alex's side. He placed his hands on either side of Alex's cheeks, making Alex look him straight in the eyes. "Hey, hey. Wait. Calm down. What is it, Love? Why would you even think I give a fuck about people seeing us together? You know I love you, and I could care less what anyone else thinks about that."
Alex blushed and pulled back from Ivar. "Well, it's obvious that you're embarrassed by even the thought of dancing with me." He cleared his throat, "So, you're off the hook. You don't have to." Alex looked away from him.
"Alex, I'm not embarrassed by you. I'm umm," he began to stutter, and Alex looked back at him, confused. "I'm embarrassed at the thought of dancing in front of all these people. You know I can't dance."
Alex's snarl softened into a smile. "Oh, Ivar," he placed his hand on Ivar's cheek,"You don't have to do anything fancy, and we could wait for a slow song. Nobody is paying us any attention." Ivar leaned into Alex's hand. "But it's ok. Let's just go. I want you to myself anyway."
Ivar knew he'd hurt Alex's feelings, and he felt really bad about it. It hadn't been his intentions. He started to walk with Alex, reaching down to hold his hand, and then he suddenly stopped in his tracks. He pulled Alex to him. "I'm not going to get in my head about this. You want to dance, let's go dance." He kissed Alex on the cheek and turned back around and pulled Alex in his direction.
"Wait. Ivar. No, it's ok," Alex said as he was trailing behind Ivar, but Ivar didn't even acknowledge he'd spoken and continued walking until they reached the dance floor.
As Ivar stepped onto the floor, Alex stood there in shock. Ivar held his hand out and said, "Well, come on, Love. What are you waiting on?"
"Umm, ok. I guess we're doing this," and Alex joined Ivar who pulled him flesh with his body and wrapped his arms around Alex's waist. "What changed, Ivar?"
"Umm, I just realized what I already knew. If I'm with you, umm, well, nothing else matters." He placed his head in the bend of Alex's neck and rested his head on his shoulder as their two bodies began to sway in sync.
Then, a familiar song began to play. "All My Life." That was the song that Ivar had said made him think of Alex, and he instantly smiled. He raised his head up as he rested his cheek against Alex's. With his left arm around Alex's back and shoulders, he squeezed him a little tighter. His right hand held Alex's, and he brought it up between them, against his chest, and held it there, leaning down and kissing the back of Alex's hand.
Ivar began humming along with the song as they slowly danced. Alex's heart was pounding so hard he was sure Ivar could feel it against his own chest. Then, as if an angel singing a hymn from the heavens, Ivar began to softly sing along into Alex's ear. "All my life I've prayed for someone like you. And I thank God that I finally found you..." A single tear slowly rolled down Alex's cheek. Ivar never sang in front of anyone intentionally, and Alex knew this. To say he was surprised that Ivar was singing, not only to himself, but directly to him, right in his ear, was a major understatement. Alex didn't say a word but just listened to the beautiful, angelic sound.
As the song was ending, Ivar turned his head toward Alex. As Alex froze, Ivar leaned down and gently kissed his lips. It was only a matter of seconds before Alex was kissing him back, both lost completely in the other.
For a moment, it was as if the two of them were the only ones in the room. Their dancing stopped and all movement, as well, except for their kiss.
Eventually, Alex noticed the song had stopped, and now there was a more upbeat song playing. He slowly opened his eyes and reluctantly pulled a little away from Ivar's delicious lips. Around them, he saw the people dancing in rhythm along with the fast music while he and Ivar stood motionless, forehead against forehead, arm in arm, hand in hand, bodies still tightly snug against eachother.
Alex looked at Ivar, who hadn't taken his eyes off of him, as he smiled and said, "We're the only ones not moving, aren't we, Love?"
Blushing, Alex answered, "Yes."
"We should probably go now," Ivar laughed, and the two of them walked back to the table to get their suit jackets. Ivar leading the way, hand in hand, they walked out to find their driver and left for Alex's place.
The car ride to Alex's was intense. Ivar scooted closer to Alex and wrapped his arm around him, pulling him close. "I want you so badly," he whispered into Alex's ear and licked down his neck with a gentle graze of his teeth, causing Alex to shiver.
"The feeling is mutual," Alex softly said back to him. Placing his hand on Ivar's cheek, he leaned over and kissed him quickly on his other cheek. "I can't wait to get you home."
The rest of the ride was spent with gentle touches, heavy breathing, intense stares, and deep kisses. Just as they both felt they could take no more, they finally arrived at Alex's.
As Alex finally unlocked the door, Ivar practically shoved him into the apartment, backwards into the wall, frantically kissing him. He was instantly removing Alex's suit jacket and then his own. As they dropped to the floor, Alex leaned forward and locked the door behind Ivar. "I've seriously missed this," Alex softly said just as Ivar's lips crashed into him again.
Pieces of their clothing went flying, one by one, as they made their way to Alex's room. "I'm all yours," Alex said between kisses, "Have your way with me."
"Fuck!" Ivar panted, "I fucking plan on it."
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Standing in the kitchen and trying not to sound as sad as he actually felt, Alex said, "Well, I guess we're back to reality, huh?"
"What do you mean? This entire weekend has been our reality, Alex."
Alex hesitated, "Well, you know what I mean. You leaving to go back home, and me just dropping by to visit you and Ivy after class."
Ivar didn't really get what Alex was insinuating.
"Ivar, umm," Alex's hands were sweaty as he tried to put everything in the best way he could without hurting Ivar, "I think I should give you three some space. You know, just give Katia the time she really needs to accept that we're together no matter what kind of fit she pulls, and let her see that it won't change even if I'm not always there."
Ivar's mouth just dropped as he listened to Alex in disbelief. "Also, maybe it will do her some good for me to not be there as much and her maybe feeling like I'm constantly rubbing it in her face. Maybe that's why she got so defensive and territorial over you to begin with."
Ivar couldn't believe how selfless Alex was, selfless, yes, but it was a very naive way of of thinking.
He stood up and walked around the counter and placed his hand on Alex's shoulder, "Love, how very thoughtful of you. Really, it's one thing I really love about you. But, umm, you do know who we're talking about here, dont you? You're so very considerate, but I honestly believe she's going to do whatever she thinks will win me over whether you're there or not." He kissed Alex on the forehead. "And I, personally, would prefer you're there with me. Maybe the better choice is that I talk to her again, and make sure she remembers that she's only there on borrowed time."
Alex shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, I understand you being apprehensive. How about this? What if I talk to her, and we just play it by ear. If you think things are too tense and would prefer to come back home, I won't stop you. You're already here a couple of nights a week anyway, so if you absolutely have to add another or two, I'll try my best to understand and not take it personally. This will be a busy week anyway with getting everything finished for Ivy's birthday party next weekend."
Ivar pulled Alex into a hug. "Just promise me that you won't umm, leave for good, that you won't leave me." Ivar shuddered at even the thought. "I can't handle even thinking about life without you. I love you, and I need you in my life. Always."
Alex choked back a tear, "Ivar, please don't tell me that after the amazing weekend we've had, you actually still think I could leave you," Alex said into Ivar's chest, still wrapped in his strong arms.
Ivar pulled him back and looked into his eyes, "I, umm, I feel it's just a matter of time before you see what I already know." Ivar dropped his head and looked away.
"And just what is that, exactly?" Alex gently turned Ivar's head back toward him so he could see his face.
Trying to avert Alex's piercing eyes but eventually giving in, Ivar finally answered him. "Umm, well, that you-you're umm, you're too good for me and deserve better." His face flushed bright red as he tried to pull away from Alex, but Alex tightened his grip around Ivar's waist.
Placing his hand on Ivar's cheek, Alex told him, "Ivar, what are you talking about? There's never been anyone more perfect for me. My love for you isn't that shallow, and I can't see me happier with anyone else on this planet. I love you. Ok? That's not going to change over some ridiculous argument or anything like that." He pulled Ivar to him and gave him a tight hug. "Do not worry about such things. You're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me that easily," Alex laughed.
Ivar smiled despite himself. Alex's words helped him, but he knew the thought would remain in the back of his head. He'd just have to push it far back and try to ignore it.
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Ivar was right. The next week was really busy. No matter how much Katia protested, and Alex couldn't tell if she was being sincere or not, Ivar pulled out all the stops for his baby girl. Katia told him how she was too young for anything to matter to her, and that she wouldn't remember any of it anyway, but Ivar insisted that nothing was too big or too much for his princess.
Ivy loved bouncing, so Ivar rented out a small, indoor trampoline park for the entire Saturday afternoon. There wasn't a large amount of people coming to the party, just close friends and family, but Ivar also had a catering company lined up to bring food.
Ivar spoke to Katia as he'd told Alex he would. She didn't say much. She just listened to him. He wasn't sure she really accepted the gravity of his words, so he told her, "Katia, I get that you wanted things to work out a different way and I'm sorry it hasn't, but you're going to have to accept this. It's not going to change. I also need you to understand that Ivy is the reason youre here at all. I can't have you living in my home, and this is temporary, remember, and treating Alex the way you have. It will not be tolerated anymore." Katia had only nodded her head and told him ok. He saw her expression chnage, but she nevwr said anything else. That made Ivar a bit nervous for what she really meant, but he decided to just leave it alone. For now.
Ivar and Alex spent most of their evenings that week at the trampoline park, decorating for the party. Alex had went home to his own place almost every night, against Ivar's will, but Ivar didn't protest against it like he said he wouldn't.
Admittedly, that had been very difficult for Ivar, so he was extremely pleased when Alex told him, "Do you mind if I stay at your place tonight? I'm honestly just too tired for us to go all the way back to my place when yours is so much closer."
"Oh, so it's just a matter of proximity, humm? That's the only reason you'll finally stay with me?" Ivar mused.
"Oh, you know better than that," Alex smiled. "I mean, yes, your place is closer, but umm, I also miss you."
Blushing, Ivar pulled him close and gave him a kiss, "Well, let's go."
To Alex's surprise, Katia had seemed mostly nice all week when the three of them had been together. She did seem a bit on edge, but he'd noticed, just when he thought she may say something, she'd retreated to her room, saying how she was really tired suddenly. She hadn't said or done anything out of the way. Yet. He knew he'd never trust her again. But he also hadn't stayed over night all week either, so he knew this would be the true test.
When the two of them arrived at Ivar's, Alex hesitated by the car door. Ivar walked over to him, "Everything ok, Love?"
Wiping his sweaty hands on his pants legs, Alex answered, "I, umm, well, I just don't want any problems. I hope she's already in bed."
Ivar hugged him and reassured him, "You have just as much a right to be here as she does. This is my house and if I have to remind her, I will. You don't have anything to worry about, Love. I told you, she seemed to understand everything when I talked to her. You'll be fine."
Alex gave him a quick kiss and told him, "Thank you, and I'm sorry for adding more stress for you."
Ivar grabbed his hand and told him not to worry about it as they headed to the front door.
Katia was in the kitchen as they walked inside. "Hey, Ivar, sweetheart," Alex just squeezed Ivar's hand as he heard her, "I made some of your favorite food for dinner and was just cleaning my plate. Please come in, and have a seat. I'll make your plate. I figured you'd be really tired."
She continued talking as the two of them stood at the kitchen counter behind her. Ivar cleared his throat as Katia turned around. "Alex is staying the night because you're right. We're exhausted."
Her eyes widened as Ivar pulled a stool out for Alex, and the two of them sat down. "Umm, ok. Uh, hey, Alex. Would you like a plate, too?" Katia asked him as she sat Ivar's plate in front of him.
Alex looked to Ivar, who nodded to him, then answered, "Umm, sure. Thank you, Katia."
She made Alex's plate and gave it to him. "Umm, Ivar, you can clean up here when you two are finished? I'm going to bed, and Ivy's already asleep in her room."
"Umm, uh, sure. Thank you, again, for dinner, Katia. And umm, Ivy?" Ivar asked her.
"Sara took her up before she left. Umm, good night, guys." Katia left the room without another word.
Alex stared blankly at Ivar who had the same expression on his face. They sat for a moment before Ivar finally said, "Think she is finally getting the picture and understanding that you're not going anywhere?"
They both sat for another moment, and as Alex smiled, they both said at the same time, "No way!" They laughed and finished their meal.
After eating, they cleaned up the kitchen together and then went to bed. It was only minutes before they were wrapped in eachother's arms, passionately kissing. Ivar pulled away and softly said, between panting, "I missed you."
"We were just together Sunday, Ivar."
"I know. A lifetime ago. I've missed you," he laughed and kissed Alex again, wondering if he would even last until he could get Ivar's boxers and sweats off of his glorious, hot body.
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It was finally the day of Ivy's party. They closed the bar for the night to be able to properly celebrate. You would have thought it was Ivar's Odin himself was coming to visit or something. He was running around in nearly a panic.
"Ivar," Alex stopped in front of him and placed his hands on his shoulders, "I know it's her first birthday, but it's going to be perfect. Everything is going to be fine. I've got everything in the car already. Breathe."
"But what about her dress for the pictures?"
"I have it."
"And the other clothes that she can mess up when she gets her birthday cake and to play in?"
"I've got that, too."
"And her shoes? And oh my God, I almost forgot my camera. How am I going to take pictures if I forget my camera?"
"Ivar, I have her shoes and your camera and your camera bag along with the charger and even batteries as a backup. I've got it. Just relax."
"What about..."
"Ivar, the candles, lighter, and knife to cut the cake all comes with the cake order. Remember?"
Ivar finally stepped back and sat on a stool at the kitchen counter. Alex smiled at him as he saw him take a deep breath and run his hand down his face.
"Chill. We got this."
At that moment, Katia came out of her room with Ivy. "Dada!" Ivar was by Katia's side immediately, as Ivy reached for him, and took her into his arms.
"She's ready. I just need my purse, and I'll be ready, too."
"How's daddy's big girl? Humm? Are you ready to celebrate?" Ivar kissed her on top of her head, and she smiled up at him. "Happy birthday, my little princess."
As Katia came back out of her room, Alex looked over to her and saw his same expression of adoration spread across her face. It unnerved him, but he looked back at Ivar and Ivy and instantly felt better. He knew now wasn't the time. Breaking him from his thoughts, Ivar asked, "Shall we go, now?"
"Actually, can I give Ivy her gift from me first? Well, I guess it's from us, really, isn't it?" He laughed. Ivar had forgotten about it, and looking at his watch, he told him yes.
Alex ran upstairs and came back down, quickly, with the big, pink bear Ivar had won for him the Saturday before. Ivar took Ivy over to Alex in the living room floor as Katia stood and watched.
"You want to see what Alex got for you, Sweetheart?"
"What we got for her," Alex corrected him.
Ivy reached for Alex, saying, "Ale!"
Ivar stood her in front of the huge stuffed bear, holding her sides, and she looked up at them both and giggled. She flopped forward with her arms stretched wide, saying "Mine."
Ivar and Alex told her yes, and she enjoyed rubbing it by moving her face back and forth into it. It was so cute, Ivar kissed Alex, and told him, "Thank you, Love. That was so thoughtful to think of her during our date."
Katia cleared her throat, and Ivar looked over to her, still standing and watching, critically. He saw the look of disgust across her face. He glared at her, but didn't say anything. "I'm going on out, guys." She said rolling her eyes.
Alex completely ignored her and continued playing and laughing with Ivy. Ivar clinched his teeth together to prevent himself from saying anything to her on Ivy's birthday. He didn't want to ruin her day before it had really even begun.
Alex, knowing this and seeing the look of murder across Ivar's face, finally said, "I think we should get going, right, Ivar? We don't want her to be late for her own party."
Ivar, recognizing Alex was right, scooped Ivy up and into his arms and told her it was time to go. She only giggled at him. They finally got Ivy in the car and headed to the trampoline park.
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Aslaug was already there and greeted them at the door. She took Ivy to change her clothes for pictures as Alex and Ivar unloaded the car. Katia came in with her.
For as long as Alex had known Ivar, he'd had an eye for capturing the perfect picture. He just naturally knew how to take the simplest scene and angle the camera in such a way that the lighting would look chosen and fine tuned, and he'd then produce the most beautiful pictures, people always being his favorite thing to photograph. You could always see his passion for photography in his finished product, but with Ivy as the subject, Alex knew the pictures were going to be outstanding.
Aslaug brought Ivy out, and Ivar had her place her on the mat with the small, colorful balls that he'd brought over from the ball pit. Her dress was purple velvet trimmed in sparkling black with tights and shoes to match. As Alex watched her pick up one of the balls and smile too widely for her small face, he couldn't deny how absolutely adorable she looked. He looked over to Ivar, who exuded love and excitement mixed with pride and a ball of nerves, as he snapped picture after picture. Alex stepped to him and softly said, "She's absolutely gorgeous, Ivar." Ivar glanced at him and smiled. "Just like her daddy," Alex added as he kissed Ivar on his cheek, causing him to blush.
At that moment, Ivy threw the ball towards them and then clapped her hands as Ivar continued snapping away.
Alex rolled the ball back to her and said, "Catch, Sweetheart." As the ball rolled right up to her, she grabbed it and said, "Ale!" melting Alex's heart.
Aslaug covered her mouth in surprise, "I didn't know she could say your name, Alex. That's precious." She winked and smiled at Alex, thoroughly surprising him as he felt his cheeks redden.
"Ale!" Ivy said again, this time reaching toward him.
"Aww, she wants you, Alex. You should go to her. I'm sure Ivar will make some incredible shots of the two of you."
Still surprised, Alex answered, "Oh, uh, no. This is Ivy's day. That's ok. I'll just watch from here."
Ivar turned to him as Ivy threw another ball in their direction, laughing and clapping. "She's right, Love. Ivy wants to play with you. It will make for some sweet photos. I mean, if you want to."
"Ale!" Ivy reached for him again. "Puh-ease," she motioned for him to come to her.
"That's another new word, sweetie," Alex encouraged her. "You're such a smart girl." He sat with her, and they began rolling the balls back and forth, Ivy's small giggles filling the room. Ivar's heart swelled as he continued snapping pictures.
Katia entered the room and stood, watching. Aslaug noticed how she was visibly on edge, and she could only assume why. Aslaug stepped closer to her. "Ivar will take photos with anyone else who wants them with Ivy, too, Dear. You should be next," Aslaug said softly as she placed her hand on Katia's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.
"Thank you," Katia batted away tears.
"Are you ok?" Aslaug asked, genuinely concerned.
"It's umm, you know. It's uh, it's just hard. I'm trying, but it's just so hard."
"Oh, I know, Dear. Just take it one day at a time."
"I know I really messed things up, and it's too late, now. Watching him, umm, it just breaks my heart. That should've been me. I'll never find anyone who loves me like he did, and I just threw it away like it was nothing."
Aslaug hugged her, "Oh, Katia. Dear, never say never. You have no idea what the future holds."
Katia's eyes lit up. Was it possible that Aslaug wanted them back together, too? Oh, of course she did. Alex can't give her anymore grandchildren. That's basically what Aslaug was saying, right? Maybe she should continue her plan to make Alex's life difficult enough that he'd just finally leave without Ivar ever even knowing she'd done it. She'd be there for Ivar afterwards, and he'd see how much she truly loves him.
Without warning, Katia went to stand at the side of the mat where Ivy and Alex sat, playing. "Umm, could I get some pictures with our daughter, too?" She asked, looking at Ivar.
Surprised at her tone, he answered, "Sure, in just a moment when she's finished with Alex."
Alex looked up at Katia and then to Ivar. Feeling bad for the way she'd just thrown Ivar in the middle of whatever game she was playing at now, he said, "Umm, no. It's ok. We can take more pictures later. I need to get up from here anyway before my legs fall asleep." He nervously laughed as he stood.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Alex," Katia began with false sweetness dripping from her words, "I can definitely wait until you're finished."
He walked to Ivar, as Ivy called for him several times. "No, you go ahead. It's fine. Ivy, we'll play again shortly. It's mommy's turn now." When he reached Ivar, he sat down beside him with a sigh.
"Thank you, Love. I'm sorry. That was so rude."
"It's ok. She's Ivy's mom. I can understand her wanting to be with her."
"And this is just another reason I love you," Ivar smiled.
People began coming, so Alex left Ivar to greet them. Ivy's birthday gifts began to pile up as people passed the gift table to go pose for photos. Alex loved that Ivar got to use one of his favorite pass times with his beloved daughter.
As he watched them and all the cute faces Ivy was making, a voice interrupted his thoughts. "Hey, Alex. You remember my sister, Emilie, don't you?"
Alex turned to see Paul, from class, with his sister and her two kids. "Hey, Paul. I'm surprised you actually came. Come on in. The kids are getting ready to go jump. Finally." Pointing to Aslaug, he told him, "That's Ivar's mom. See her for the socks and have a great time."
Paul's sister stuck her hand out to shake Alex's, "Hi, umm, he insisted that we were invited and should come for the kids to enjoy themselves. I hope it's ok."
"It's definitely ok. Ivar invited you guys personally last weekend." Alex motioned toward Aslaug for them to get socks.
Suddenly, the kids went running to the jump space. There weren't many, maybe 8 or 10, and all so tiny, but they nearly knocked Ivar down as he was walking with Ivy in his arms, toward Alex. "Hey, hey, guys, slow it down some," Ivar said to them in vain as they passed.
Just as Ivar reached Alex, the front door swung open. There stood Sigurd, a young toddler, maybe 2 or 3 years old, and a pregnant, blonde girl. Ivar stopped in his tracks, in complete disbelief. "Hi, Ivar. Umm, this is Anja, my girlfriend, and this little guy is Mika."
"What the fuck are you doing here, Sigurd?"
"Nice to see you, too, little brother. Hey, Alex. And uh, Mom invited us."
"Of course she did," Ivar shook his head. He pointed his finger in Sigurd's face, "I promise you, if you do or say anything to ruin my Ivy's birthday, I will personally end you. I'll mutilate and dismember your body so badly that not even mom will be able to identify your mangled body in the morgue. I'll fucking gut you myself!Understood?" Alex gulped and Anja swallowed loudly. Ivar turned to her, "Nice to meet you, Anja. You're welcome to come in. Get some socks for Mika and let him play with the other kids." He glanced at Alex, "I'll be back. I'm taking Ivy to play."
Alex began to speak, but just at that moment, Hvitserk walked up. As he turned to Alex, he noticed who was standing on front of him. "What the fuck!" Trying to disregard Sigurd, Hvitserk said, "Alex, I was coming to tell you that your mom is here and was looking for you, but before I leave you," he turned to Sigurd, "You better not start your shit with Ivar today. You understand me? I won't hesitate to kick your fucking ass right here in front of," he looked to Anja, "Your girl and your kid and whoever the fuck else wants to watch. Got it?"
Sigurd smiled and began to speak, but Hvitserk held his hand up to his face, "Save it," and he walked away.
Sigurd told Anja, "That was my other brother, Hvitserk. Isn't he lovely?"
"Wow! When you told me you weren't too popular with your brothers, you weren't joking, were you?"
-
The party seemed to be going well. Everyone was talking and laughing and the kids were still jumping. Alex left Ivar and Ivy to go get a glass of water.
As Alex turned to go back, he noticed Katia with Ivar and Ivy, so he stopped. He stood and watched them. He knew she needed to spend time with them together, too, but it sure stung.
Alex then felt an arm on his shoulders and a hand on gently squeeze. "It's a wonderful thing you're doing for him, Sweetie," his mom's voice said softly beside him. "That's true love. I know it's not easy, but Ivy can only benefit from the three of you loving her like you do and doing your best to get along."
"Thanks mom. It's, umm, well, Katia doesn't always make it the easiest."
"Oh, I'm sure. Just be strong. She's just testing you. And Alex?"
"Yes, mom?" he answered, watching Ivar and Katia walk along the trampoline, holding Ivy's hands so she can easily jump.
"You know how much that man loves you, don't you?" Completely surprised at what he'd heard her say, he turned to look at her. "Because everyone else around you two, including Katia, can see it. Have faith in that, sweetheart. He's not going anywhere." She kissed him on his temple and walked back to his dad.
Alex just stood there and let his mom's words wash over him. He felt really proud at how accepting she clearly was of the whole situation of him being with a man and, now, one who had a child and a crazy ex. It warmed his heart, and she just didn't know just how badly he'd needed to hear everything she said.
As he watched Ivar and Katia more, he noticed how she just actually seemed to be there for Ivy. Several times she'd placed her hand on Ivar's arm or shoulder, and he subtly pulled away from her each time. She appeared to just stop trying to get his attention and began to focus hers on her baby girl. Things didn't seem so bad when she was with Ivar like that, just as Ivy's mom and nothing more. He sincerely hoped they'd eventually get to a place when that really was all that was there.
"Is that broad the mom of your daughter?" Paul was suddenly at Alex's side, disturbing his thoughts.
"Umm, yeah. That's Katia, Ivar's ex and Ivy's mom."
"Woah! Man! I thought she was your child. So her mom is his ex?"
Annoyed, Alex simply answered, "Yes."
"Wow, man. I'm impressed. I don't know how you do it. That would kill me, seeing my man with his ex and their baby. How do you not feel like the third wheel?" He looked over to Alex, "I guess I mean, the fourth wheel. I mean, look at them. The three of them look like a happy little family. I'd never known they weren't still together had I not known who you are to him. Dude! I'm amazed that you don't just feel like crawling under a rock somewhere. You must really love him, huh?"
Alex could only hope that Paul meant well, but his words hurt like a double edged sword. He was just a bit daft and obviously, completely without tact. Alex began to walk away from him before he lost his cool as he heard Ivar call his name. He turned to see Ivy in Katia's arms, but reaching for him as she called out, "Ale! Puh-ease! Ale!" How could he say no to that?
Ivar motioned for him to come to them and then, to his surprise, so did Katia.
Alex joined them back on the trampoline mat, leaving Paul where he stood, and Katia instantly said to him, "She really wants you, Alex. You want to take her?"
He tried to hide his surprise with Katia's generosity as he held his arms out. Ivy practically jumped to him, and she giggled as they laughed at her.
Alex and Katia each held one of Ivy's hands and let her jump up and down. The smile across her face was contagious. Alex tried to ignore how nervous he was at Katia's kindness. Surely, this was sincere and not just another way to maneuver herself into Ivar's life the way she wanted to be. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, looking over his shoulders. Alex turned to see what she was looking at, and he saw Y/N and Hvitserk standing there, pretending not to be watching them.
Of course, Hvitserk had said something to her. That definitely explained her change in attitude. It made Alex feel sick, but as he looked at Ivar's smiling face, watching them getting along for the sake of their love for his daughter, he couldn't really do or say anything. Now, wasn't the time.
Hvitserk brought Ivar his camera and winked at Alex. Ivar instantly began snapping more photos. Defeated, Alex gave in and just enjoyed the moment. No matter how fake it actually was.
Unbeknownst to them, Sigurd was watching them. "I can't tell, exactly, which one is faking it. Is it Katia or Alex?" he snidely asked Ubbe.
"Oh, it's definitely Katia. Don't you remember how she's always been? Don't let the kid fool you. She's still just as manipulative as she was back then."
"Is Ivar still a blinded fool?"
"I honestly don't think he is. He's in love with Alex, and her shit doesn't seem to phase him anymore."
"Yeah, this thing with Alex? When did that happen? Who would've thought our little brother would be a queer?"
Ubbe smacked him in the back of the head, "Don't start your shit, or I promise you, I'll.."
"Beat my ass yourself?" Sigurd finished Ubbe's sentence. Ubbe smiled and nodded yes. "Actually, I see Ivar differently. He does look genuinely happy and in love. It's fucking disgusting." They both laughed.
The rest of the party had been a lot of fun. Alex got his turn with Ivar's camera when Ivar sat with Ivy and helped her open her gifts. She clapped, smiled, and giggled at nearly every gift. It was precious, and Alex was proud Ivar trusted him to capture the moment as Ivar had been teaching him a little about photography.
By the time everyone had eaten and had cake, several people were already leaving. Ivar invited whoever wanted to come back to his place for, "the adult part of the party," and they began packing up to leave. Alex and Ivar both were really happy that Ivar had the foresight to have paid the little extra for someone else to clean up after the party and bring it all back to Ivar's. They were both pretty tired.
As they made their way to the door, they were met by Alex's parents. Thank you, Son, for having us. We enjoyed our time with you all, but I think we're going to head on home," his mom told Ivar as she hugged him and kissed his cheek.
"Aww, won't you drop by my place for a bit? We'd love to have you. Just have one drink with us, and then, we'll let you go if you want,"
She looked to Alex and then to his dad, who both nodded. "Well, if you're sure we won't be intruding. I know most of your guests will be your family, Ivar."
"Mama Hogh, you're Alex's family, therefore, you two are my family as well," he said as he hugged her again. "You've always been my family, but you didn't realize that you seriously do have a second son, now?" Ivar laughed.
Alex felt his heart swell. He didn't have words for how Ivar's words made him feel, but he sure did love hearing them. He grabbed Ivar's hand and kissed his knuckles as they headed to the cars.
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❤️😜❤️😜❤️😜💔💔❤️😜❤️😜❤️😜❤️😜❤️
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Once at Ivar's, Alex scanned the room. The few who came back were really just Ivar's family and Alex's parents. As he continued looking around, he noticed Paul sitting on the sofa. He was surprised, but Ivar had actually invited everyone so he walked over to him. "Hi Paul."
Paul stood, "Umm, I didn't realize this was just a family thing, Alex. I'm sorry. I'm gonna head out."
Alex handed him a beer, "Don't worry about it. You were invited just like everyone else." He took the drink and sat back down.
Ivar took Ivy to her bedroom upstairs. She didn't even wake up when he got her out of the car. He knew she'd be tired after such a long day, but he was kind of surprised at just how tired. Once he had her settled in her bed, he leaned down and kissed her forehead, "Happy birthday, Baby Girl. I love you."
As he walked to her door and gently closed it behind him, he turned into Alex. "What a day, huh?" he said as he smiled at the sweetness he'd just witnessed.
"What?" Ivar shyly asked.
"You know how I love seeing you with Ivy. That's all." Ivar's cheeks reddened, but he didn't say a word. "Actually, I just wanted to let you know that Paul is here, too. I didn't know how you'd feel about it, so I just wanted to tell you."
Ivar's jaw clinched as he spoke through his teeth, "I told you what he's after. You just watch yourself around him. I'd hate to have to dismember him." He didn't even smile as the words rolled so easily off his lips. "I don't trust him, but it's ok. I mean, I did invite everyone." He then backed Alex into the wall and kissed him. "He's just jealous that he can't do that," he laughed.
In a bit of a daze, Alex smiled. "He definitely can't. That would be gross." They both laughed and returned to the party.
Everyone was talking, laughing, and having a good time. Alex looked around and decided to pick up the empty bottles and take them out to the recycle bin in the garage. From the kitchen, talking with Ubbe and Hvitserk, Ivar saw him and turned to offer to help. Alex told him not to worry about it, that he could get it, so Ivar continued his conversation with his brothers.
As Alex rounded the corner with the box of empty beer bottles, he heard Katia and Aslaug talking. Instinctively, he stopped and listened. "Yeah, well, I know, but how could Alex ever provide you with any more grandchildren, Aslaug? I know Ivar has always wanted nothing more than to have a home full of little ones running around. I can give him that. And I know that would make you just as happy as it would him. You know he still loves me. He'll always love me. I gave him his first child."
"I, umm, well, I can't say if you're right or not," Alex heard Aslaug's response. "I know he'll always love you in his special way, Katia, but.." she stopped talking when Alex stumbled just outside the door, causing the bottles to bang together. "What was that?" Aslaug asked Katia as Katia basically disregarded her.
"I don't know, but you were saying you also think Ivar still loves me? Doesn't that mean he just needs to hear it from you? Maybe he just needs to know how you feel about him being with Alex, a man of all people. What was he thinking? I'm sure if he knew how you really feel, he wouldn't be so sure about their relationship. I mean, if that's what you want to call it." Katia continued talking as Aslaug moved around the work table in the garage, toward the door. "I mean, don't you think you should tell Ivar the truth about what you think about him and Alex?"
"What? Oh, uh, umm-humm," Aslaug was finally standing at the doorway just as Alex was stepping through it, and they nearly ran into eachother. "Oh! Alex!"
His eyes full of tears that he was desperately trying to hold back, he stepped around her and placed the box of empty beer bottles on the table. "Umm, I was, uh, just bringing this to the recycle bin. Umm, I-I'm uh, I didn't mean to umm, to interrupt your umm, conversation." Alex quickly sat the box down and turned to walk out.
"Oh, Alex, Dear," Aslaug began, but Alex held his hand up, palm facing her, in an effort to tell her not to waste her voice and to back off. He turned and immediately walked out of the garage, hearing both Aslaug and Katia calling after him.
As he entered the bathroom in the hallway, he faintly heard Katia's lies, "Alex, come back. I'm sorry. I can explain. It's not what you think."
He didn't bother to open the door or to answer her. He knew he needed to pull it together. This was not the time for Ivar to learn of the shit Katia and his own mom were spitting about the two of them.
It completely broke Alex with the cold and heartless way Katia had spoken about him as if she were discussing the weather and that Aslaug never once even attempted to defend him or even her own son. He could at least spare Ivar from the same pain, at least for now.
He wondered if what Katia had said was true. Did Ivar still love her? Is that why he had agreed to let her stay? Was she the one Ivar should be with after everything? She was right about one thing, though, for sure. He definitely couldn't give Ivar more children. They'd never talked about any long term goals. He didn't know if Ivar really longed for more children or not. How could he stand in the way of that if it was really what he wanted?
Standing in front of the mirror, hands gripping the sides of the sink, Alex looked at himself and wiped his tears with the back of his hand. Flipping on the water, he splashed cold water on his face. "Get a grip, Alex. You've got this," he lied to himself.
After a few more minutes in the bathroom, he finally came out to find Y/N standing there, waiting on him. "What the fuck happened? What did she do this time?" She asked him, anger visible across her face.
"Nothing. It's fine. I-I'm fine."
"Alex," she began.
"Not now, Y/N. I can't. Not now, ok?" he continued walking and grabbed himself two beers and headed to the sofa. Ivar noticed he'd returned and gave him a questioning look from across the room. Alex held his hand up and signaled that everything was ok as he turned up the first beer.
Sigurd and Anja sat across from him with Paul on one side of him and Y/N on the other. Sigurd began talking and thankfully, Paul and Y/N were quick to engage in conversation with him, as Alex turned up his second beer already.
Alex looked around and noticed Aslaug was at the kitchen counter without her smart-ass side kick for now. He saw his mom walk up to her and begin talking, and he could only hope Aslaug wouldn't say anything to her. He knew his mom, at least, was definitely what you would call a, "mama bear," and for the first time in a long time, he was quite proud of it.
"Hey, Aslaug. How are you? I've been meaning to talk with you all evening," Mama Hogh said to her.
"Oh, it's so nice to see you. I'm great. How have you been? I feel like it's been ages since I've seen you guys," Aslaug said.
The two of them made small talk for a few minutes before Alex's mom said, "What do you think about our boys? Who would have guessed that the two of them would have fallen for eachother, right?"
Aslaug thought before speaking and trying to choose her words wisely, finally answered, "It's funny. I kind of always thought my Ivar would end up with Alex's sister." Aslaug smiled and offered her a drink that she turned down.
"Oh, she is engaged now," Mama Hogh grinned, "But can I offer a word of advice to you?"
"Sure," Aslaug answered, intrigued.
"We have to let them go. They're not ours anymore. They're our babies, and we always think we know what's best for them, but there comes a time when we just have to let them go to make their own choices, and support them when they do."
She saw Aslaug's face harden a bit. "Trust me, I almost lost Alex because of trying to make his choices for him, thinking, 'Mama knows best,' but I learned the hard way, it's just not worth it. If they're happy, we have to be happy for them. And have you noticed how happy they clearly are with eachother? What mother could want more than that? Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and yes, sexes, Aslaug. Who are we to tell another who to love?"
Aslaug was clearly deep in thought. "How very insightful. Umm, thanks. I think." Aslaug leaned forward and hugged her as she told her that she and Thomas were leaving.
They returned to say their goodbyes. When Alex's mom came to him, he tried to stand but stumbled back onto the sofa, laughing. She smiled at him. "Just make sure you don't drive, Hun," and she hugged him goodbye as she told Y/N, "Take care of my boy, ok? I think he must need it." Y/N was surprised at how intuitive Alex's mom was, and she agreed.
Paul had been giving Alex beer after beer, and now Alex was feeling pretty good. Sigurd and he were intensely talking about being with someone they loved who already had a child. "It's so fucking beautiful how much you can love someone that you automatically love their offspring as if they're yours, right?" Alex slurred his words to Sigurd.
Sigurd smiled and agreed with him as he squeezed Anja's leg. He looked over and noticed one of Paul's hands on Alex's leg and the other rubbing his back. It didn't quite set well with Sigurd, but he told himself not to get involved. He'd definitely remembered each of his brother's warnings to not get shit started.
Alex continued talking, as Y/N got up to use the bathroom. "But you, you Sigurd, you have the luxury of having a baby of your own with umm, was it Amy?"
"Anja," she corrected him.
"Right. Anja. I'm sorry." Paul handed him another beer which he turned up and finished in 3 seconds, flat. "So you'll have your own little offspring soon. I, umm," he held his head down, "I can't provide that for Ivar."
Handing him another beer, Paul said, "Oh, there are other ways around that, Sweetheart." Alex turned up the beer as Paul's hand moved up his leg a bit more. Alex was so out of it by this point, that he didn't even notice, but Sigurd it did not miss it, nor did he miss the "sweetheart." He sat up to the edge of the couch and listened.
Paul continued, "If you were mine, I wouldn't make you feel any kind of pressure like that. Maybe the problem isn't that you can't give him another child. Maybe the problem is either who you're with or that he should be fucking happy with what he's got." Paul placed his hand on Alex's cheek while his other remained practically on his inner thigh, obviously headed toward where it definitely should not be.
Alex attempted to pull away from Paul's hand. Even in his drunken stupor, it didn't feel right. "Oh, umm, I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," Paul told him as Sigurd watched and tried to decide what to do. He looked to Anja, but she was now standing behind them, talking with Torvi. "I just hate to see you not appreciated, Alex," Paul continued. "I'd never let you feel inadequate, especially when it came to my fucking ex. I'm sorry he makes you feel that way. Are you sure that's love? Because I'm not." He dragged his hand up Alex's leg further and squeezed as he handed Alex another beer.
Alex turned the beer up and his head began spinning. He suddenly jerked away from Paul and moved over on the sofa. He tried to start another conversation with Sigurd to distract himself from Paul's words, but he kept hearing what he'd said ringing in his ears and it came out to Sigurd, "I'm uh, I'm inadequate, huh? That's it. That's why he still loves her. I'm not good enough."
Paul scooted over closer to him and placed one hand on the small of his back and the other back on his leg again. He pulled Alex into a hug and kissed him on the top of the head. "You're not inadequate at all, Alex. You're perfect."
Sigurd had finally seen enough, "That's enough, man. Back the fuck up. You've gotten him just drunk enough that he has no idea what you're up to. I think you need to leave. Now."
Paul looked up to Sigurd as he stood and said, "Who the fuck are you? Alex is grown and can make his own fucking decisions."
"You've conveniently taken his decision making skills away from him and I'm Ivar's fucking brother, that's who the fuck I am! Now, back the fuck up!" Alex's head fell over onto Paul's shoulder and Paul placed his hand at the nape of Alex's neck, and wrapped his other around his waist, completely disregarding Sigurd.
Trying not to be the one to make a scene, Sigurd stormed to the next room, looking for Ivar. When he found him, the look of utter hatred and disgust was plastered across his face. Ivar instantly felt his defenses go up as he was used to that look.
Expecting him to spill whatever bile he had stored for him, Ivar sat his drink down and balled his fists up, ready to knock him out and then kick him out. So, he was very surprised when Sigurd began talking.
"Ivar, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but this is about Alex." Ivar sighed at Sigurd. "No, it's not like that, Ivar. I'm pissed. That Paul guy, whoever the fuck he is, has gotten Alex super drunk. Alex doesn't even know what's going on, and he's talking out of his head about you still loving Katia."
"Oh, what the hell! Let me go talk to him," Ivar started to leave Sigurd.
Sigurd stopped him, "No, Ivar. That's not even what I'm talking about. It's just that, well, Alex is drunk and talking out of his head like I said, and that fucking Paul is using his words against him."
Ivar saw red, "What? What the fuck do you mean?"
"He's twisting Alex's obvious insecurities about the two of you to his advantage and basically telling him how he'd treat him better. And Ivar, he's groping him up. Alex pulled away several times, but this mother fucker keeps putting his fucking paws all over him. It's disgusting. I fucking told him to leave, and he completely ignored me. And since I promised you guys I'd behave, I thought it better to come get you."
"Fuck that! You should have kicked his ass and thrown him out!" Ivar spat through gritted teeth. "Where the fuck is this piece of shit?" Ivar felt anger like he hadn't felt in a long time course through his veins. He followed Sigurd, his unlikely ally.
When he found Alex, Y/N was arguing with Paul as he sat with his arm resting on Alex's shoulders. Alex was slumped over with his head in his hands.
Ivar walked up, "Thanks, Y/N. I can take it from here." She looked up to him with a sigh of relief and backed away, bumping into Hvitserk, who had the same murderous stare that Ivar had.
Paul looked a bit nervous as Ivar walked to Alex's side. Squatting down to Alex, he calmly said, "Hey, Love. I think you've had enough. Why don't we call it a night?"
Alex raised his head from his hands and looked into Ivar's worried eyes and smiled warmly. He said, "Hey, my Ivar. Umm, well, you are still my Ivar, aren't you?"
"Yes, of course, I am. Let's get you to bed, shall we?" Ivar gently said.
Alex looked at Paul and reached for another beer. Paul handed it to him as he rubbed his back. Ivar placed his hand over Paul's and squeezed it as he removed it from Alex's back. "That's enough touching, now. I think it's time for you to go," Ivar said sternly to Paul.
Alex turned back to Ivar and said, "But he's my friend. We were just talking shit, Ivar."
"So I've heard. Well, he has to go home, now, Love. And you can go with me to rest in my room."
Ivar placed his hand on Alex's cheek and Alex leaned into it. "Nah, I don't think I'm ready for bed just yet. I was enjoying the party. Have a drink with us."
Ivar stood up and told Paul, again, to leave. Paul answered, "I don't think Alex wants me to leave."
Ivar didn't have a chance to answer before Alex said, "No, don't leave. The party's not over yet."
Ivar helped Alex to his feet, "The party is over for the two of us. Come on. I'll help you up the stairs."
Alex still protested, "Ivar, we still have guests. I'm not ready to go to your room yet. C'mon, one more drink."
Sigurd and Hvitserk had everyone else go to other rooms, telling them they didn't know how this may play out, and that they didn't want anyone getting hurt. Aslaug stood in the doorway, watching, though. She knew that Alex's current state was because of him overhearing her and Katia talking. She knew she needed to talk with him and explain.
When Ivar noticed his brothers had cleared the room, and Alex was still rambling about one more drink, he bent down and scooped Alex up and threw him over his shoulder, completely ok if he vomited down his back.
Alex kicked and then laughed, "Oh, you Tarzan, me Jane. Bedroom. Now." He laughed even harder, "Hey, I may like this game after all. Bedroom, now, my Ivar." He grabbed his head, "But fuck! I can't be Jane!" Ivar even struggled not to laugh at that.
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"Ok, Alex, let's go."
When Alex complained that he still wasn't ready to leave, Paul stood in front of Ivar. "Man, he said he doesn't want to leave. Put him down. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Ivar felt a surge of anger hit him like a lightning bolt.
With Alex still over his shoulder, Ivar grabbed Paul by the shirt collar with his right hand and spoke to him through a clinched jaw and murderous eyes. In one of the most menacing voices Hvitserk had ever heard him use, Ivar growled at him, "What the fuck is wrong with ME? What the fuck is wrong with YOU?! You're in my house. You don't get to tell me to do anything! Now, get the fuck out of my house before I throw you out. Step aside before I destroy you." Ivar let go of him and he stumbled backwards a bit. "Don't make me peel your disgusting skin from your pleading body like a fucking potato! NOW, MOVE!"
Finally feeling proud of his baby brother, Sigurd giggled from behind them. Hvitserk's mouth just dropped in complete shock.
Paul winced at the images Ivar had put in his mind without even blinking. This man was ruthless, and he couldn't understand what Alex even saw in him, but he was not backing down. He wanted to be with Alex, and he was determined to show Alex who the better choice was.
When he got his balance, he, again, stood in front of Ivar. "I said put him down!"
With Alex still draped across Ivar's shoulder and back like a jacket, Ivar tightened his grip around him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt such a need to defend someone he loved.
Before anyone in the room even had time to register what was happening, Ivar drew his arm back, and he suddenly punched Paul right in the face with what felt like the strength of a twenty. Paul instantly stumbled back and fell over. He was completely knocked out.
Ivar looked down and stepped over Paul, and as he took the first step on the stairs, he turned back to his brothers. "Hvitserk and Ubbe," who had just entered the room a few minutes before, "Can you show the rest of our guests out and give my sincerest apologies?" Sigurd looked up to Ivar questionly. "And Sigurd, will you umm, can you take out the fucking trash? If the piece of shit gives you any problems, do whatever you fucking want with him."
Sigurd smiled, "Happily." He rubbed his hands together with anticipation, and leaned down and kicked Paul to see if he was conscious yet. Ivar smiled and went about carrying Alex up the stairs, to his room.
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Ivar laid Alex down across the bed and smiled when Alex stretched his arms out and said, "Good morning, sunshine."
"Love, it's night. We're getting ready to for bed," Ivar chuckled at him.
"Oh, are we, now? I like the sound of that," Alex leaned up and reached for Ivar's crotch, but Ivar moved away from him, just out of his grasp.
Alex fell back onto the mattress, "You do t wnat me, do you? So, it's true, huh?"
"What's true?" Ivar asked, having no clue what Alex was talking about.
"You are still in love with Katia. Did you tell her? Because she already knows, too. Too bad I was the last one to fucking know. Might have saved me the humiliation of having to hear it from her," Alex turned his gaze away from Ivar, "It's ok, Ivar. You're off the hook."
Then, sitting up, or rather, trying to sit up, Alex told him, "I should go home. This, uh, this isn't right." He slung his legs over the side of the bed, and when he tried to get up, he fell forward.
Ivar rushed to his side. "Shit! Are you ok?"
"I'm fine. I'm fine. I've said it before, I like to get all the breaking done at once," Alex half laughed.
Ivar didn't know what had happened, but his mind could only guess Katia had told Alex some vile story that wasn't even true. "Whatever she's said or done, Alex, I'm sure it's all lies. You can't let her get to you and you can't believe her." Ivar tried. "You know how manipulative she is."
"Fuck that!" Alex raised up and tried to get to his feet. Unsuccessfully.
"Here, let me help you," Ivar offered and then helped Alex back to bed.
"You're, you're so fucking lucky I don't have the energy right now. I'd fight you on this one. You don't want me. I'd umm, I would, I, umm, nevermind. Can we talk tomorrow, Ivar? My head's splitting open. I, umm.." Ivar smiled at Alex's stuttering, but still worried about what he was saying. "Yeah, uh, you know what I'm saying, right? Umm humm."
Ivar brushed Alex's hair from his face to see he was passed out that quickly. He said his name a few times to check and yes, he was out.
Ivar pulled Alex's arm up from dangling on the side of the bed and took his shoes off for him before removing his own shirt and pants and crawling in bed beside him. He leaned down and kissed Alex on his temple, "Man, you're gonna feel this one in the morning." Ivar smiled.
As he laid back onto his pillow, he thought about the evil that Paul had attempted with Alex. He knew Hvitserk and Sigurd had taken care of everything downstairs because neither had came for him. Sigurd. What an unlikely person to have his back! He couldn't believe he'd welcomed someone like that into his home. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't worried about what Alex would do when he learned how he had to throw his friend out, but he knew it had to be done. He then began to worry about all the things Alex was saying. What was he even talking about? How could Alex possibly think that he was still in love with Katia?
As the rage began to build in him again, he turned to Alex and brushed his fingers through his hair in an effort to calm himself. Then, he began to wonder what had gotten Alex this upset to begin with.
As he continued to brush through Alex's hair, Alex turned to face him, barely opened his eyes, and smiled when he saw Ivar's eyes looking back at him. He mumbled, "Hold me?"
"Of course, Love. Come here."
They scooted into each other as their bodies intertwined and Ivar's arms wrapped tightly around Alex. He kissed Alex on the top of his head as Alex snuggled into him. "I love you," Ivar whispered, and the two of them finally fell asleep.
@istorkyou @chapada010101010 @vero-maris-zamo @lostasalice-thisway @covidinducedsocialreject @tessakate @lonewolf471 @noway4u @galaxy-1000 @twistergirlie
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Text
Candles
Present 3: Sharing
(A Marching Hare Story)
For the past month leading to her 5th birthday, Charlotte had been preparing for when the Marching Hare would return. She invited everyone she knew, pretty much the entire town, to the party. Now, the reason why everyone was invited wasn't given to them, they just saw it as a gesture of goodwill. But Charlotte had something in mind, something that she'd show everyone, and hopefully, they'd join in.
Susan and Grant had been helping their daughter prepare for the party, getting the cake ordered, making the decorations, the like, while Dee had handed out the invites. Everything was coming up nicely.
The day before the party, most of everything had been set up. The cake had been completed, sealed up tight, and their yard was adorned with streamers and brightly colored lights. There was only one more thing that was needed. A gift.
Charlotte had gotten a piece of construction paper and a marker, and went to work. She had her mother make sure it was readable, it was important for the receiver of the gift to understand. She spent all night trying to find the right words, what to write down. And, finally, with a finishing touch, the gift was ready.
It was the day of the party. A majority of the town was there, all the kids that could make it were there, they were playing, and all the parents talked amongst themselves. Susan was the only one still out of the loop, even after the night she returned home she still had no clue what this "birthday bunny" was, and why everyone else seemed to take it at face value.
"Oh, it's just a little thing the kids made, I believe."
"Are you sure? They all take it so seriously."
"Well of course they do, mein freunde, what child doesn't?"
Susan took a moment to reflect. Why question this, it's just kids being kids, after all. But why go through so much effort, inviting all of these people, just for something made up? Why not, if everyone has a good time?
Charlotte was anticipating his arrival every second she was there. She had her gift for him in hand, never letting it go, even when playing with the others. She was optimistic, why wouldn't he show up? It was her birthday, he had to.
She waited. An hour passed, no sign, lunch had been served. She waited. 2 hours, no sign, all the games had been played. She waited. 3 hours, no sign. All there was left were cake and presents. Her optimism withered with each hour. If he didn't show before the party was done, then what was the point.
"Alright honey, do you want to do cake or presents first?"
"Cake, please. Just in case he arrives."
"Alright, Charlotte, go and sit at the table. Daddy and I will light the candles."
She took her seat in front of the cake, 5 long, rainbow candles adorned it.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, all were lit up.
"Alright everyone, are you ready? 🎵 Happy bir-"
A loud clang was heard in the distance, silencing everyone. Another clang, and another, the faintest sound of static alongside them.
"HE'S HERE! MOMMY, DADDY, DEE, EVERYONE HE'S HERE!"
Indeed, he was. The Marching Hare, there for everyone to see. As he took his steps, he started to notice just how many people were there. So many, just to celebrate that little girl's birthday. The static almost sounded like giggling. He marched only a tiny bit quicker, before finally stopping right in front of everyone. All but the children stood in shock. The parents couldn't believe it, Susan especially. He was real.
It had a great, big pinecone in its mouth, dropping it. He bowed, slowly starting to turn around.
"WAIT!"
Charlotte cried out, stopping the Hsre in its tracks. She stepped down from her chair and walked over to him, her gift in hand.
"Can you read, Mr. Bunny?"
He nodded slowly, tilting his head in confusion. She handed him the gift, a note.
"Dear Mr. Bunny. When you first visited, I was very happy. And when you visited everyone else, you made them happy. You gave all of us gifts, but you didn't get anything. I want to fix that. I don't know when your birthday is, so all of our birthdays are yours too. And presents are included. Thank you, Mr. Bunny.
From Charlotte Reed"
And below, a little drawing of the Hare, a big smile on his face. A tear started to form on his beady eyes. The static was increasing in intensity, he wanted to say something. After a bit, he managed to get it out, as warbled as it was.
"T̸h̶a̷n̵k̶.̴.̶.̷.̶y̷o̷u̴.̷.̸.̴.̶ "
He put the note in his mouth, and then marched away. Charlotte walked back to the cake, blowing her candles, the pinecone in hand. Everyone turned around, clapping as one would at any other birthday party. Charlotte, with a few tears of her own, stood in.her seat, shouting.
"Happy birthday, Mr. Bunny!"
Bunzo giggled. He'd be getting really old, wouldn't he? A few more tears wouldn't hurt.
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nightswithkookmin · 1 year
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When he talks about being the only one that feels so lonely in this way, he is right in that not everyone cares about what others think of them the way he does.
He's too much of a Libra and too emotionally self aware for his own good. He wants to do the right thing and it's hurting him. Can't you see?
You damn right Jungkook doesn't have that problem. why would he? he can't relate cos he Don give a fuck what no body thinks of him.
ZERO FUXKS GIVEN BY THAT MAN.
So I understand why that can feel so lonely even when he's with Jungkook. I can imagine Jungkook scolding him and telling him he should stop caring what others think of him and Suga telling him NEVERMIND whenever he tries to discuss this with the members. Just because they are all men in the same band don't mean they have the same personalities. They have intersecting identities that results in unique struggles.
Hobi might be facing mental health problems associated with being famous that JM could not be suffering from. That don't mean JM doesn't have issues.
Similarly, just because JM talks about these issues don't mean JK doesn't have his own problems.
The tattoos is on their body for a reason you know?
And like Jungkook says, life's too short to be living for others. He even called him out on his life for asking him not to drink and live. If you want JM closely, he's always the one reminding the members hey don't show the alcohol bottle there might be young armys watching, oops naked portrait in the back Lemme zoom and cover it. All these scandals JK has been engulfed in couldn't be him. JM is a multifaceted complex human being. He's not complicated. There's depth to him.
Please go back and read ally analysis on those two it's pretty much what I have been saying about those two from day one that the major issue of conflict between them is JMs propensity to be too careful with everything they do.
For some this might be hard to swallow because they see JM as equally daring and bold which he is but again I keep saying part of that is very performative and easy to play up. A lot of actors get blasted for not being eloquent off cams. Beyonce has a whole persona she calls Sasha which is totally different from who she is off stage.
Personally I like that JM cares so much and is self aware and is soxially and emotionally intelligent but that can hold him back as well if it gets in his way of being happy and being true to himself.
I thought JK was nuts but I understand why he chose not to post for anyone he didn't want to post for on their birthday. I understand why Tae did the same thing. They are all trying to break away from the public facade. Face off. Whatever roles they were assigned, Whatever masks they put on, whatever identities they portrayed to the public, they are finally taking it all off.
Thank you Jimin. Your journey of self growth is truly inspiring and wonderful. You are a wonderful human being. Thank you for Face. Thank you for your uniqueness. Thank you for your presence in this time and in this life. You bless my life with your existence every single day.
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satancopilotsmytardis · 2 months
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*breathes deeply
Oof. This was a lot. Dabi knowing he should leave but he can't because he has to know just what this guy is to Shig. It doesn't really seem that Dabi knows a whole lot about the kink scene, just by the way he described everything happening.
Dabi shifting back because he gets horny and gets off to them. 🫣 I don't know how to feel. Although knowing Dabi, he's also getting off on the shame of it too. (You know the author's good when you also feel like an uncomfortable voyeur.)
Dabi realizing that he could never have Tomura that way, because he's just a cat to him. Even if he was to reveal himself, there's the chance that Tomura would hate him for lying. That and the fear of rejection that comes with the fact that he'd been lying for months. Pretty much spying on him and using him. My heart can't take this.
Oh everyone knows, whoops.
Dabi moping after the incident, debating whether to leave or not is heartbreaking. He tries to punish himself, but that makes Shig worry so he can't do that. He can't leave either because that'd hurt him too. He's stuck because it's either him or Shigaraki suffering, and he really doesn't want Shig to suffer more because of him. 😢
No! That does not mean stop being human.
Oh, we get to see how a meeting with the less favorable League members go. Exciting!
...
...
...
TANCO WHAT THE FUCK?!?!!
So AFO bribed Moonfish with flesh to kill the 'distraction' Tomura is having. And Dabi nearly died. (How the fuck could you do this to Tomura on his birthday? He did not wish for his cat to almost die.)
The only thing Dabi thinks about while dying is Tomura hurting again. His job was to make Tomura happy and he failed at that. Agajfkrbee Dabi not expecting to be sad when he dies again fucking hurts. (He knows the League will take care of Tomura, that's sweet)
"Being Onigiri was worth every pain of being Toya and Dabi because they brought him to Tomura." 😭😭😭😭😭😭 He was happy, that's why it was worth it. He didn't think he deserved happiness, and he got it anyway and didn't want to let it go. He agrees to stay alive because he's not gonna let down Tomura. Because Tomura cares and he can't do that again. 😭😭😭😭
I can now see how you made yourself cry. You made me fuckin cry too.
Recovery is a bitch. Dabi promising to do better for the League, because there's no way he'd be doing it for himself.
Dabi hating the cone like a true cat.
Toga trying to make Shig and Keiro happen because she wants the drama and she's a romantic at heart. And her getting the pet stairs. Toga is such a sweetheart. I love her so much. Dabi trying to condition Shig to hate Endeavor.
Tomura standing up to AFO. I'm so cheering for him. Especially because he tried to fucking kill Onigiri. You don't go after a man's cat.
Stain's back! Watching Spinner and Toga lose it over their idol. And Stain just not caring lol. He just shuts them both down. It's interesting to see your take on Stain, since he's never been a major part of your writing before. I adore how you write characters and Stain is no different.
Taking buttons? Oh however can Dabi abuse them? Immediately demanding treats. Not surprising. Aww a pet button, how cute.
...I'm crying again damnit. Dabi just can't. Tomura doesn't understand because he's just a cat, and Dabi wants him to know. He wants Tomura to know so bad he wants to cry only to find out he can't. My heart can't take this anymore.
Tomura admitting to bring Stain back as a bodyguard for Onigiri. Because he couldn't handle that loss again. He's nearly lost Oni twice and he's so determined to keep him around.
It's cute that Stain tells Onigiri he did a good job helping Shig. Because it really was the cat.
First babysitting job for the cat. Tomura learned his lesson with Toga and now has instructions for the treat jar. Dabi being smug that he has more hidden. His favorite button. 🥺
WHAT?! Stain knows?! You broke my brain. Officially gone. Does that mean Stain's a shifter too? Is that how he got around unnoticed for so long? I have so many questions now.
Dabi has two choices, be a dumb cat, or tell the truth. And we know Dabi isn't gonna tell the truth.
God this chapter was such an emotional rollercoaster. I ate it up though and I can't wait for more. May the Muse be with you my friend.
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YES, YESS, YEEEESSSSSS!!!
Dabi was such a mess this chapter from the voyeurism, to nearly dying, to confessing his feelings, to getting found out! He was going through it!!!
Stain is so immediately done with his fan club, Onigiri is the only one who gets a pass!
Dabi does have to immediately abuse the buttons, you can bet that Shigaraki had to hide the "treat" button as soon as they brought it upstairs
I'm so excited for the next chapter and I'm so glad you enjoyed this one! Thank you so much for commenting!
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newathens · 10 months
Note
ohhh my god, okay you know that post you made about tsats that was basically talking about how the book completely disregards anyone that helped nico before now, that was so fucking annoying to read. i was taking notes while reading and i wrote "i just don't love how it's kinda framed like nico needed a romantic relationship to feel accepted, i feel like everything that nico is saying will did to make him feel accepted is something that all the other people he knows also did" and "'i like that you want to take care of me, i haven't had someone like that in my life since bianca' - i guess hazel, percy, and jason mean nothing then"
also another big problem i had with the book overall is that it was constantly /telling/ me things and never /showing/ them. like constantly nico would /say/ that will made him happy and made him feel like he belonged but all that we /saw/ was will making nico feel bad for being a child of hades and hating on the underworld.
the themes and stuff where also being constantly just directly told to the reader in a way that brought everything to a grinding halt, like that bull guy accusing nico and will of being homophobic, that demon being like "not a guy!!", and "consent, it makes people feel safe." and like obviously these are good messages and stuff but like the bull guy could have sent nico and will on his stupid little quest without all of that and nico was literally already using they/them pronouns for the demon, i know that it depends on the person and some people would like such direct dialog on the issues, but personally, i would have 100% preferred for queer people to just exist in the story without it having to be a big deal every time.
also nyx was interesting for like 2 seconds in the middle of the book imo (the first time nico was in tartarus) and then at the end she became the most broing antagonist ever. i miss when the main antagonist had depth and nuance and a reason to be doing anything, the "nyx doesn't want this one random demi-god that she has no reason to care about to grow as a person bc she's the primordial goddess of the night" felt like a maaaaajor stretch, maybe i missed something but i did not understand why she cared At All.
(if you care about spoilers for the very end don't read this part yet)
the ending sucked sooooo bad. first of all, it had been foreshadowed throughout the book that nico would have to give something important up obviously from the prophecy, and i was actually really interested to see what it would end up being bc in other books, espesially pjo, i feel like rick did a good job with the prophecy where at the end the audience was surprised to learn what they actually meant but they still made perfect sense, but i couldn't figure out what he would have to give up while i was reading. and then it ended up being the fucking demons???? even that was stupid i thought bc in what world are these random creatures we just met as important as bob? BUT!!!! they didn't even give them up!! they took they back up to the mortal world??!!! they literally did not leave anything behind. one might argue that it was supposed to be a metaphorical letting go of your inner demons but like a major part of the book had been accepting that everyone has some darkness within them and like learning to live with it right??????? so like??? what did they leave behind.
anyway final point, sorry about the essay. at the end hades says that he is the one that sent nico on the quest and then says it's bc like percy opened his eyes and changed things or whatever and like??? how is sending nico, a child, on a quest to fucking /tartarus/ doing what percy would have wanted?????? sending children on quest and getting them to do the gods work is literally what the entire conflict of pjo was about and something that percy has been angry about since literally like the first book, i literally had to stop reading and take some deep breathes when i read that part i was so mad
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