#This is a post to announce that I love women. Happy pride (*is 2 days late*)

[eternal-moss]

Honestly the most painful thing about HSR is that Stelle was practically made for me. I love women. Her unbothered autistic swag. She has grey hair. She literally looks like a wolf from her hair to her eyes. She uses a baseball bat. She is the Girl of all time. I wish I had enough space for starrail I really do

[ttte-tugscrowskullausmainblog]

Pride Month, Day 8: Duck (unofficial design)

For day eight of pride month we have home boy, Duck, who is bisexual.

Duck has always been comfortable with his sexuality. There was time he thought he was straight and just appreciated male beauty, and learned that was not the case when he saw a naked man for the first time in a locker room (things happened that day *cOUGH*).

He is bisexual, but isn't strictly attracted to just men and women, he will also be attracted to a non-binary person if they appear feminine or masculine. So, he has a preference for appearance, but not really a preference for what is in the trousers. But, sentiment is very important to him, and he hasn't been with that many people. Until one day when a pair of Scottish twins arrived to work on Sodor and Duck was interested. And specifically interested in Donald. They became friends quickly and bonded for quite a while, Duck being to first to express his romantic interest. They dated for a bit before announcing it to their friends.

Duck is now in a great relationship with Donald.

Look at this SNAZZY man(guess what, I'm making this May 30th and this is the first time I have ever drawn Duck). I totally didn't just ramble like this was a college essay I was trying to reach the word amount for because there isn't much of a backstory to Duck's sexuality, no, not at all, you can't prove anything-

Anyways, happy Pride Month! It is 2 am at the time of me making this post and bitch I'm tired so, I love you, hope you enjoy, peace. ✌️✨

[a-detraque-barista]

My Treasure

Dragon Izuku x Reader

Genre: smut, dragon au

Word Count: 2900+

Warnings: feelings of insecurity, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it peeps), big dick Izu, cunnilingus, hints of a scent kink, dom izu if you squint

A/N: Tis finally here...dragon Izu! This is my second official smut ever but I’m kind of happy with how it turned out! There's a good chance I'll come back to this and make changes. This is only day 2 for the Izumonth collab so go ahead and check out the announcement post here. Made by the lovely peach herself @birds-have-teeth​

~~~

“Izuku, are you here?” your voice rang through the cave that you knew to be the jade haired dragon’s den. He had asked for you to come today so he could show you something. You had never gone farther than the mouth of the dark cave. The dragon didn’t want you to see what was inside. Maybe it was for the best, who knew what a dragon kept in his precious den. 

You had befriended the dragon only a few fortnights ago. Stumbling upon him while bathing ended up being a less gruesome consequence than what you would imagine. The man was shy and sweet to you. His face was so red as he spoke to you while only waist-deep in the small spring water pond. Even with his pointed horns and scaly skin, he never posed as a threat.

You must have apologized about a hundred times by the time he got out and dressed to speak to you properly. Even though it was you who barged in on him, he was apologizing for making you uncomfortable, when he did nothing of the sort. You were surprised to see how much muscle he could hide beneath his clothing. But already seeing him without, led you to know better.

After that, the two of you couldn’t help but meet daily. Sometimes outside of his cave and others inside your home. The dragon-man was respectful and did nothing to make you anything other than ease. Never did he make you feel unsafe, it was quite the opposite. He was so sweet you couldn’t believe that he was a dragon. Once he shifted into the large creature you’ve only heard about in children’s books and legendary stories passed down from ancestor to ancestor. And he took you up into the clouds, gliding above them and enjoying the wind on your face. It was like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. 

Ever since then your feelings have been growing for the dragon boy who made your heart skip a beat. Although, you didn’t know how he felt about you. He probably only wanted to be friends with you...and you were alright with that. 

It only took a minute or two for the green-haired man to walk out of his domain to greet you, “Hello Y/n-chan.” His smile showed his canines that only caused you to smile back. “Are you ready to see it?”

‘It’ was still a mystery to you as he took your hand and pulled you inside the cave. At first, all you could see was darkness besides a small glimmer of light ahead of you. Holding onto Izuku’s hand tighter, you proceeded to walk alongside him to whatever he wished to show you. 

Slowly, the two of you were getting closer to what was glimmering through the shadows of the cave. For a second, your eyes had to close to block out the sudden exposure of bright light. When you opened them again your jaw dropped at the sight of what could only be called treasure. Mountains of gold and jewels. You’ve never seen so much treasure in your poverty-filled life. Is this what Izuku wanted to show you?

“This, Y/n-chan, is my hoard,” he stared at the gold with pride as he still held your hand in his. 

“What-what’s a hoard?” you almost felt embarrassed to ask but you were only a human girl, learning things about dragons little by little.

“A hoard, my dear, is where a dragon keeps all the things they’ve collected over the years. It’s their most prized possessions all in one place. Dragons go to unimaginable lengths to protect their hoards from being stolen or destroyed. And this is my hoard that I hold very close to my heart.”

The fact that Izuku was comfortable enough around you to show you his hoard spoke volumes. He chuckled at your expression as you still gaped at his beloved hoard.

“Come, I want to speak to you about something,” with his hand still around yours he pulled you to what looked to be a bed. Blankets and cloth, most likely stolen from villages, were in layers on top of one another to create a plush area for the man to sleep.

You sat down with him and he gently pushed your hood off from your head. Smoothing your hair down. This was strange, Izuku has never been so affectionate with you before. This really must be a serious matter.

“Y/n,” oh no. “You’ve been so kind to me these last couple of weeks,” what did you do wrong? “I want to know,” oh god. “How do you feel about me?”

You looked up with your eyes wet with tears about to fall, “What?”

“How do you feel about me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean- gods," he took a second to gather his thoughts. "I mean do you have feelings for me?” his face had never been so red as he blurted out his question.

You couldn’t help but smile at how cute your dragon friend was being. Then you accidentally let out a giggle. Seeing his face fall, you took it into your hands and looked him dead in the eye, “Of course I have feelings for you.”

But that didn’t seem to erase the unease from his handsome features. So you explain yourself, “I only laughed because I thought I had made it painfully clear that I care about you more than a friend. It was practically embarrassing how much I showed it.”

This caused Izuku’s cheeks to pass heat to your hands and eyes to look elsewhere. And with his cheeks squished between your palms he muttered, “Well, I didn’t know.”

Your smile grew and so did his. Letting go of his face caused you to look behind his shoulder and see a familiar piece of clothing. Your brows furrowed as you focused on it as you realized that it was your nightgown that’s been missing for weeks.

“Izu, why do you have my nightgown?” you felt his body stiffen next to you. 

Damn. How was he supposed to explain this to you? Dragons had a keen sense of smell and everything had a certain scent. Even humans.

“I-I uh, well you see...I took it so my bed could smell like you,” his words came out jumbled but you were able to understand what he said.

“You, like my scent that much?” now it was your turn to have flushed cheeks.

“Of-of course I do. It’s my favorite…”

You sighed. As much as you were flattered, he still stole your clothes.

“You can keep that one, BUT no more stealing my clothing. If you want to borrow something to scent your bed than just ask,” you laid your head on his shoulder and softly scolded him.

“O-okay.” he tapped his two pointer fingers together, minding the sharp nails that came out about an inch. “You mean more to me than any of the treasure here.”

The statement was sudden and quiet. But with your head being next to his mouth, you heard him just fine. Your head lifted from his shoulder to look at him properly. He was about to stutter out a response before you could say anything that would reject his words but you kissed him instead. Your lips collided with his to interrupt anything he was going to say. 

After the initial shock passed, Izuku closed his eyes and reciprocated by pressing his lips into yours just as much. Both of your faces now felt hot as did the skin that was touching. You felt his tongue shyly poke at your lips, asking permission for entrance. Once your jaw slackened a bit, he slipped the appendage into your wet cavern and explored every inch. It startled you at first how long his tongue was but you had no complaints as it wrapped around your own.

His hands began to trace down your arms to hold your waist. Gently, he pushed you back to lay down, not once did he break the seal your lips created. 

From your waist, his hands roamed your body. Every curve and every dip was not left untouched. He had dreamt for several nights to be able to take you like this. He never thought his dreams would come true.

Izuku could feel his trousers become tighter by the second but all he could think about was getting you ready first.

“Izu- ah!” you went to say his name but a moan escaped from the back of your throat.

The reason for your sudden wanton moan was the feeling of Izuku’s finger slowly slipping between your lips and into your quivering hole. 

“My nails aren’t too sharp for you, are they my love?” he broke the kiss to ask his question but continued to leave open-mouthed kisses along your jaw.

“Mm-mm,” suddenly you felt a nip at your skin.

“Use your words.”

You swallowed thickly and gathered as much of your voice as you could, “N-no.”

Feeling him smirk against your skin made you blush harder than it ever has before. A whimper left your mouth as you felt him insert another finger. Slowly, he pumped them in and out, every now and then he scissored them. Opening you up bit by bit so you would be able to take him without too much pain.

Izuku has lived for many decades, only bedding women every few years. He never had the urge to sleep with them unless his ruts were too painful to handle by himself. But right now, he’s feeling insecure. It’s been so long since he’s been with someone. And now that someone means more than anything to him and is lying in his bed. The last thing he wants to do is to get something wrong.

By the time he inserted a third finger, he was placing small bites along your collarbones. Leaving dark purple bruises on your skin made him feel joy knowing all the males in your village will see his marks. 

And his ears picked up on every little sound you made. All the whimpers and quiet moans caused by his fingers inside of you. He absolutely loved it. 

“Izu~ please give me more,” your heavy-lidded eyes looked down to his curly hair just above your chest.

Reluctantly, he stopped kissing your skin to look into your eyes, “I suppose since you asked so nicely.”

He worked his way down so his head was now between your things. Lifting your skirts up to see your already glistening lips, he took a sharp intake of breath. Your scent was so arousing, Izuku licked his lips and couldn’t help but stare for a few seconds before latching his mouth onto your bud. 

He sucked on it hard while continuing the stretching of your tight cunt. Switching from sucking and licking at your clit, his fingers began pumping faster. The clover green dragon was determined to see you fall apart by his mouth and fingers only. However, he could feel the effects of waiting as his bulge became almost painful. For now, he settled with gently rubbing his erection into the blankets.

You, on the other hand, were in a state of absolute pleasure. His thick and calloused fingers rubbed against your rigged walls, his nails very lightly scraping against the muscles. Moans were falling out from your mouth as Izuku kept sucking and licking at your sensitive and throbbing bud. 

For a split second, you felt empty as Izuku removed his fingers but replaced them with his tongue. His tongue was longer than a normal human’s, allowing him to reach further than even his fingers. He swept his thumb between your lips and began to circle your clit vigorously. This caused you to reach down to his unruly hair and tug at the strands. 

“Izuku-hah.”

He hummed into your opening that caused vibrations to work through your lower half. Soon, your body began to shake and Izuku worked faster to get you to come undone. Your thighs closed around his head and your back arched as you let out the loudest moan you’ve ever heard leave your mouth before. Izuku only stopped when you tugged at his strands more gently. Bringing his head up from between your legs, caused your face to flush once again seeing your fluids on his lips and chin. He licked his lips and wiped away what was on his chin with the back of his hand.

Izuku’s eyes were practically encased with his pupils. The green iris only being seen as a ring around the pupils. Using his nails, he tore away the pesky dress you have chosen specially for him.

And god, were you absolutely stunning. He just had to stop and stare. Examining and analyzing every spot of skin his eyes could take in. The staring had made you self-conscious and you brought your arms to cover your chest. This caused Izuku to finally blink out of his trance and furrow his brows. 

He leaned down to peck your lips, “I want to see all of you.” Gently, he moved your arms away and took you in for another few seconds. He pulled off his shirt and tossed it somewhere out of the way.

Trailing kisses around your breasts, he began to work on freeing himself from the very unwanted trousers that societal decency has cursed upon him. Once his member was free it sprung up and stood tall against his abdomen. While lapping and sucking at your nipples he worked his pants off and threw them elsewhere. 

He pressed his hips into yours leaving his cock between both of your stomachs while he gave your other breast the same attention. Slowly, he bucked his hips making precum leak from his tip. Izuku took his large cock into his hand and sat up to sit back on his haunches. This gave you the chance to see just how big he was. Your eyes almost widened to a comical size as you stared at it. The feeling of it against your stomach was not an accurate comparison to what you saw now. It was the biggest you’ve ever seen. There was the size and also the ridges along the bottom of it. 

Izuku could feel your hesitation once you saw his cock. So he began to massage your thighs, “Don’t worry my love. It won’t hurt too much. I promise.”

His words made you feel better as you took in a deep breath and nodded for him to continue. He gave himself a few slow pumps before rubbing the head between your lips and around your wet cunt that kept contracting out of anticipation. Slowly and gently, he pushed in his cock little by little. The stretch burned only a little once you relaxed enough for it to push in with ease. Making sure you showed no sign of wanting to stop, he pushed the rest of the way in. You moaned for what must’ve been the one-hundredth time that night. No one and nothing has ever reached so far into your body. You would’ve thought that the ridges would be painful, but they were dull and only added to the pleasure. 

The pace of hips was slow as you were still adjusting and felt only a tad bit of pain. It didn’t quite make sense why you were taking him so well for the first time. You thought he might have split you into two. But that thought quickly went away once his pace became quicker.

His thrusts were shallow at first before he heard you calling out his name like a mantra. Wrapping his arms beneath your knees he brought them closer to your chest so he could have a better angle. Now you could feel his cock going even deeper. On particularly hard thrusts you could feel the head nudge the opening to your womb. 

Izuku was grunting and groaning as he pounded into you. Your moans became louder as his thrusts became harder.

“Hn! Izu- fuck,” you tried to call his name but a moan stopped you.

“Gods, you feel so good, wrapped around me like this,” his words had you moaning like a whore. “It’s like you were made for me.”

His words only brought you closer to your release as his pace remained consistent. His nails were digging into the flesh of your thighs and sweat trailed down his nose to drop onto your chest. 

“You’re squeezing me so tightly-hah~ I don’t think I can last much longer-”

“Fu- ck, Izu. I’m gonna-”

Knowing what you were going to say, he bends his knees to get more balance before continuing. “It’s okay my love, just let go.”

He knew once he felt you release, he going to join you. His thrusts became uneven and sloppy as he leaned down once more to give you a searing kiss.

“Come with me,” he whispered while trailing his hand down between your legs and began to rub your clit in quick small circles. With the new pressure added it didn’t take you long to come undone. 

Your back arched, eyes rolled, and body shook as you practically screamed out his name. The clenching of your walls around caused Izuku to pump a few more times before holding still, burying himself at the hilt. The searing hot spurts of his cum added to your euphoric feeling. 

The two of you stayed still, catching your breath as Izuku’s cock kept pulsating. Between your panting, you decided to tease the dragon boy, “How long are you going to stay like this?”

He chuckled breathlessly, “You think it’s a lot now, wait until I have my rut in a few months.”

You laughed along with him, just imagining what his rut will be like. Once the two of you caught your breath, Izuku looked down at you, smiling. The love in his eyes made your heart skip.

He went to say something but you interrupted, “I love you.”

The dragon smiled once more, “I love you too, my lovely treasure.”

[magicaththedemigod]

an extensive analysis of “the song of achilles” by madeline miller

Or: things I noticed and couldn't keep to myself.

Because I just finished reading it and have many feelings about it, I've decided to compile all of them into a very lengthy Tumblr post.

This will be broken up into three parts:

1. Foreshadowing

2. Dramatic (and regular) Irony

3. Fatal Flaws

1. Foreshadowing

Miller does such a delightful job with foreshadowing. The number of quotes I could be spitting at you right now... but I digress. The main job of foreshadowing, especially in a tragedy like "The Song of Achilles," is to set the characters up for their tragedy.

What I like most about how Miller goes about it in this book is that she doesn't attempt to pull a shocking twist out of nowhere; instead, she takes an approach which allows the reader to fully marinate in their despair.

For example, this quote:

Achilles shook his head, impatiently. "But this was a greater punishment for her. It was not fair of them." "There is no law that gods must be fair, Achilles," Chiron said. "And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Do you think?"

Let's take a moment and unpack some of this. For context, this is a conversation between Patroclus, Achilles, and their mentor Chiron. They're discussing the tale of Heracles, who's driven to madness and ends up killing his own wife and kids.

From reading the book, (SPOILER ALERT) you know that Achilles' own pride and honor end up forcing Patroclus to impersonate him in order to save the Greek army, and in doing so is killed by Hector. The fact that Chiron directs this question, "And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Do you think?" to Achilles, who is left behind after Patroclus' death is such delightful foreshadowing that I almost threw the book across the room when I first read it.

Achilles slumps into such a depression after Patroclus dies (really, after he kills Patroclus with his own fatal flaw), that he even loses the ability to care about his fame or honor anymore. He feels the greater grief, so to speak.

Even after he dies, Patroclus is left behind, unable to rest properly because they never put his name on the tomb. In that sense, Patroclus is then the one left behind, experiencing loneliness and grief.

The book is full of little hints like this, and that's part of why it's almost torture to read as someone who knows how the Iliad goes. As I said before: the foreshadowing in this book is meant to have the reader in pain from the beginning because you know nothing is going to work out in the end.

2. Dramatic (and regular) Irony

Yes, that's right. I'm about to rip into your soul.

Probably one of the biggest parts of classical Greek myths is dramatic irony (the audience knowing something the characters don't). In plays, the ending is almost always announced before the play begins. In fact, the audience most likely already knows the story from previous tellings or just general knowledge. It makes sense that it would be one of the biggest players in "The Song of Achilles."

As usual, let's start with a quote:

His eyes opened. "Name one hero who was happy." I considered. Heracles went mad and killed his family; Theseus lost his bride and father; Jason's children and new wife were murdered by his old; Bellerophon killed the Chimera but was crippled by the fall from Pegasus' back. "You can't." He was sitting up now, leaning forward. "I can't." "I know. They never let you be famous and happy." He lifted an eyebrow. "I'll tell you a secret." "Tell me." I loved it when he was like this. "I'm going to be the first." He took my palm and held it to his. "Swear it." "Why me?" "Because you're the reason. Swear it." "I swear it," I said, lost in the high color of his cheeks, the flame in his eyes. "I swear it," he echoed. We sat like that a moment, hands touching. He grinned. "I feel like I could eat the world raw."

First of all: cute. Second of all: wow, so much pain.

As you know, Achilles is the opposite of happy at the end of the book (well, maybe after they die, but we'll get to that later). Though he swears it here with Patroclus, the two of them make decisions that ultimately lead to their downfall: Achilles decides to abandon the Greeks after they slighted his honor, Patroclus decides to help them even if it means risking his life, and Achilles lets him do it.

So let's talk about dramatic irony. The irony here is that you know, maybe just from this exchange alone, that Achilles isn't going to be the first happy hero. You know there is a war coming, know that Achilles and his famous heel will get himself killed. You might also know at this point that Patroclus will die first and send Achilles spiraling into grief before that happens.

It's painful, truly. Achilles spends his last days in utter agony, wanting to die but unable to kill himself, and Patroclus can only watch on as a ghost (spirit?). Even when Achilles does die and his ashes are put into their urn (seriously, how did any scholar ever think they weren't lovers?), they still have to wait to be reunited.

But there's still more. Consider these lines:

Hector's eyes are wide, but he will run no longer. He says, "Grant me this. Give my body to my family, when you have killed me." Achilles makes a sound like choking. "There are no bargains between lions and men. I will kill you and eat you raw."

Sound familiar? That's right: "I will kill you and eat you raw" sounds an awful lot like "I feel like I could eat the world raw," doesn't it? Another parallel from Miller: one from a time of happiness, the other from a time of extreme grief. However painful it is, I really live for connections like that.

And I've got one more for you:

Achilles shook his head. "Never. He is brave and strong, but that is all. He would break against Hector like water on a rock. So. It is me, or no one." "You will not do it." I tried not to let it sound like begging. "No." He was quiet a moment. "But I can see it. That's the strange thing. Like in a dream. I can see myself throwing the spear, see him fall. I walk up to the body and stand over it." Dread rose in my chest. I took a breath, forced it away. "And then what?" "That's the strangest of all. I look down at his blood and know my death is coming. But in the dream I do not mind. What I feel, most of all, is relief." "Do you think it can be prophecy?" The questions seemed to make him self-conscious. He shook his head. "No. I think it is nothing at all. A daydream." I forced my voice to match his in lightness. "I'm sure you're right. After all, Hector hasn't done anything to you."

See where I'm going with this? I don't think I need to explain this one.

3. Fatal Flaws

That's right, one of the most essential pieces for a tragedy: hamartia. For those who might not know, hamartia is the fatal flaw that ultimately leads to the downfall of a tragic hero or heroine. In every single piece of classical greek writing, if the story is a tragedy, the main character will have a fatal flaw that makes it so.

Take Achilles:

I looked at the stone of his face, and despaired. “If you love me-”

“No!” His face was stiff with tension. “I cannot! If I yield, Agamemnon can dishonor me whenever he wishes. The kings will not respect me, nor the men!” He was breathless, as though he had run far. “Do you think I wish them all to die? But I cannot. I cannot! I will not let them take this from me!”

You probably already know what his fatal flaw is: pride. He needs the fame, needs the glorious memory of his deeds to live on forever, so badly that he is willing to sacrifice his life and what might’ve been a fulfilling and long life with Patroclus out of the limelight. His fatal flaw is what spurs each of his actions in the later half of the book, including the moment where he decides to leave the Greeks to their deaths for slandering him.

Even Patroclus has a fatal flaw: his love for Achilles.

That night I lay in bed beside Achilles. His face is innocent, sleep-smoothed and sweetly boyish. I love to see it. This is his truest self, earnest and guileless, full of mischief but without malice. He is lost in Agamemnon and Odysseus’ wily double meanings, their lies and games of power. They have confounded him, tied him to a stake and baited him. I stroke the soft skin of his forehead. I would untie him if I could. If he would let me.

Though riding into the center of the fighting, especially dressed as Achilles, will make Patroclus the prime target, he decides to do it anyway. And not out of fear for Achilles’s life; he knows how important his pride and reputation is to him, and out of desperation will do anything to keep Achilles from being devastated when it doesn’t work out for him.

(Honestly, this is the part where I start to hate Achilles for doing this to Patroclus... it’s like he doesn’t even consider Patroclus his equal and does everything without consulting him.)

Of course, Agamemnon has a fatal flaw as well. He is like the mirror image of Achilles, so proud and stubborn, righteous and arrogant. However, he is the darker image, the one that revels in taking things by force and, of course, raping women like Briseis. He serves as a poignant foil for Achilles, highlighting all the ways the traits they share can easily become corrupted. It’s part of why this novel works so well.

I hope you all enjoyed this book as much as I did. Truthfully, I did have a few problems with it, but I wanted to trying picking it apart anyway. And if you haven’t read the song of achilles... what are you doing reading these spoilers?? 

[shewhoworshipscarlin]

Bert Williams

Bert Williams (November 12, 1874 – March 4, 1922) was a Bahamian-born American entertainer, one of the pre-eminent entertainers of the Vaudeville era and one of the most popular comedians for all audiences of his time. He is credited as being the first black man to have the leading role in a film: Darktown Jubilee in 1914.[2]

He was by far the best-selling black recording artist before 1920. In 1918, the New York Dramatic Mirror called Williams "one of the great comedians of the world."

Williams was a key figure in the development of African-American entertainment. In an age when racial inequality and stereotyping were commonplace, he became the first black American to take a lead role on the Broadway stage, and did much to push back racial barriers during his three-decade-long career. Fellow vaudevillian W. C. Fields, who appeared in productions with Williams, described him as "the funniest man I ever saw—and the saddest man I ever knew."

Williams was born in Nassau, The Bahamas, on November 12, 1874, to Frederick Williams Jr. and his wife Julia. At the age of 11, Bert permanently emigrated with his parents, moving to Florida in the United States. The family soon moved to Riverside, California, where he graduated from Riverside High School in 1892. In 1893, while still a teenager, he joined different West Coast minstrel shows, including Martin and Selig's Mastodon Minstrels in San Francisco, where he first met his future professional partner, George Walker.

He and Walker performed song-and-dance numbers, comic dialogues and skits, and humorous songs. They fell into stereotypical vaudevillian roles: originally Williams portrayed a slick conniver, while Walker played the "dumb coon" victim of Williams' schemes. But they soon discovered that they got a better reaction by switching roles and subverting expectations. The sharp-featured and slender Walker eventually developed a persona as a strutting dandy, while the stocky Williams played the languorous oaf. Despite his thickset physique, Williams was a master of body language and physical "stage business." A New York Times reviewer wrote: "He holds a face for minutes at a time, seemingly, and when he alters it, bring[s] a laugh by the least movement."

In late 1896, the pair were added to The Gold Bug, a struggling musical. The show did not survive, but Williams & Walker got good reviews, and were able to secure higher profile bookings. They headlined the Koster and Bial's vaudeville house for 36 weeks in 1896–97, where their spirited version of the cakewalk helped popularize the dance. The pair performed in burnt-cork blackface, as was customary at the time, billing themselves as "Two Real Coons" to distinguish their act from the many white minstrels also performing in blackface. Williams also made his first recordings in 1896, but none are known to survive. They participated in a "Benefit for New York's Poor" held on February 9, 1897 at the Metropolitan Opera House, their only appearance at that theater.

While playing off the "coon" formula, Williams & Walker's act and demeanor subtly undermined it as well. Camille Forbes wrote, "They called into question the possible realness of blackface performers who only emphasized their artificiality by recourse to burnt cork; after all, Williams did not really need the burnt cork to be black," despite his lighter skin complexion. He would pull on a wig full of kinky hair in order to help conceal his wavy hair. Terry Waldo also noted the layered irony in their cakewalk routine, which presented them as mainstream blacks performing a dance in a way that lampooned whites who'd mocked a black dance that originally satirized plantation whites' ostentatiously fussy mannerisms. The pair also made sure to present themselves as immaculately groomed and classily dressed in their publicity photos, which were used for advertising and on the covers of sheet music promoting their songs. In this way, they drew a contrast between their real-life comportment and the comical characters they portrayed onstage. However, this aspect of their act was ambiguous enough that some black newspapers still criticized the duo for failing to uplift the dignity of their race.

In 1899, Williams surprised his partner George Walker and his family when he announced he had recently married Charlotte ("Lottie") Thompson, a singer with whom he had worked professionally, in a very private ceremony. Lottie was a widow eight years Bert's senior. Thus, the match seemed odd to some who knew the gregarious and constantly traveling Williams, but all who knew them considered them a uniquely happy couple, and the union lasted until his death. The Williamses never had children biologically, but they adopted and reared three of Lottie's nieces. They also frequently sheltered orphans and foster children in their homes.

Williams & Walker appeared in a succession of shows, including A Senegambian Carnival, A Lucky Coon, and The Policy Players. Their stars were on the ascent, but they still faced vivid reminders of the limits placed on them by white society. In August 1900, in New York City, hysterical rumors of a white detective having been shot by a black man erupted into an uncontained riot. Unaware of the street violence, Williams & Walker left their theater after a performance and parted ways. Williams headed off in a fortunate direction, but Walker was yanked from a streetcar by a white mob and was beaten.

The duo's international success established them as the most visible black performers in the world. They hoped to parlay this renown into a new, more elaborate and costly stage production, to be shown in the top-flight theaters. Williams and Walker's management team balked at the expense of this project, then sued the pair to prevent them from securing outside investors or representation. Filings in the suit revealed that each member of the team had earned approximately $120,000 from 1902 to 1904, or $3.5 million apiece in 2019 dollars. The lawsuit was unsuccessful, and Williams and Walker accepted an offer from Hammerstein's Victoria Theatre, the premiere vaudeville house in New York. A white Southern monologist objected to the integrated bill, but the show went ahead with Williams and Walker and without the objector.

In February 1906, Abyssinia, with a score co-written by Williams, premiered at the Majestic Theater. The show, which included live camels, was another smash. Aspects of the production continued the duo's cagey steps toward greater creative pride and freedom for black performers. The nation of Abyssinia (now Ethiopia) was the only African nation to remain sovereign during European colonization, repelling Italy's attempts at control in 1896. The show also included inklings of a love story, something that had never been tolerated in a black stage production before. Walker played a Kansas tourist while his wife, Aida, portrayed an Abyssinian princess. A scene between the two of them, while comic, presented Walker as a nervous suitor.

While the show was praised, many white critics were uncomfortable or uncertain about its cast's ambitions. One critic declared that audiences "do not care to see their own ways copied when they can have the real thing better done by white people," while the New York Evening Post thought the score "is at times too elaborate for them and a return to the plantation melodies would be a great improvement upon the 'grand opera' type, for which they are not suited either by temperament or by education." The Chicago Tribune remarked, disapprovingly, "there is hardly a trace of negroism in the play." George Walker was unbowed, telling the Toledo Bee, "It's all rot, this slapstick bandanna handkerchief bladder in the face act, with which negro acting is associated. It ought to die out and we are trying to kill it." Though the flashier Walker rarely had qualms about opposing the racial prejudice and limitations of the day, the more introspective and brooding Williams internalized his feelings.

In 1908, while starring in the successful Broadway production Bandanna Land, Williams and Walker were asked to appear at a charity benefit by George M. Cohan. Walter C. Kelly, a prominent monologist, protested and encouraged the other acts to withdraw from the show rather than appear alongside black performers; only two of the acts joined Kelly's boycott.

Bandanna Land continued the duo's series of hits and introduced a tour de force sketch that soon Williams made famous: his pantomime poker game. In total silence, Williams acted out a hand of poker, with only his facial expressions and body language conveying the dealer's up-and-down emotions as he considered his hand, reacted to the unseen actions of his invisible opponents, and weighed the pros and cons of raising or calling the bet. It later became a standard routine in his solo stage act, and was recorded on film by Biograph Studios in 1916.

Walker was in ill health by this point due to syphilis, which was then incurable. In January 1909 he suffered a stroke onstage while singing, and was forced to drop out of Bandanna Land the following month. The famous pair never performed in public again, and Walker died less than two years later. Walker had been the businessman and public spokesman for the duo. His absence left Williams professionally adrift.

After 16 years as half of a duo, Williams needed to reestablish himself as a solo act. In May 1909 he returned to Hammerstein's Victoria Theater and the high-class vaudeville circuit. His new act consisted of several songs, comic monologues in dialect, and a concluding dance. He received top billing and a high salary, but the White Rats of America, an organization of vaudevillians opposed to encroachments from blacks and women, intimidated the theater managers into reducing Williams' billing. The brash Walker would have resisted such an insult to his star status, but the more reserved Williams did not protest. Allies were few; big-time vaudeville managers were fearful of attracting a disproportionate number of black audience members and thus allowed only one black act per bill. Due to his ethnicity, Williams typically was forced to travel, eat and lodge separately from the rest of his fellow performers, increasing his sense of isolation following the loss of Walker.

In 1910, Booker T. Washington wrote of Williams: "He has done more for our race than I have. He has smiled his way into people's hearts; I have been obliged to fight my way." Gene Buck, who had discovered W. C. Fields in vaudeville and hired him for the Follies, wrote to a friend on the occasion of Fields' death: "Next to Bert Williams, Bill [Fields] was the greatest comic that ever lived."

Williams' stage career lagged after his final Follies appearance in 1919. His name was enough to open a show, but they had shorter, less profitable runs. In December 1921, Under the Bamboo Tree opened, to middling results. Williams still got good reviews, but the show did not. Williams developed pneumonia, but did not want to miss performances, knowing that he was the only thing keeping an otherwise moribund musical alive at the box office. However, Williams also emotionally suffered from the racial politics of the era, and did not feel fully accepted. He experienced almost chronic depression in his later years, coupled with alcoholism and insomnia.

On February 27, 1922, Williams collapsed during a performance in Detroit, Michigan, which the audience initially thought was a comic bit. Helped to his dressing room, Williams quipped, "That's a nice way to die. They was laughing when I made my last exit." He returned to New York, but his health worsened. He died at his home, 2309 Seventh Avenue in Manhattan, New York City on March 4, 1922 at the age of 47. Few had suspected that he was sick, and news of his death came as a public shock. More than 5,000 fans filed past his casket, and thousands more were turned away. A private service was held at the Masonic Lodge in Manhattan, where Williams broke his last barrier. He was the first black American to be so honored by the all-white Grand Lodge. When the Masons opened their doors for a public service, nearly 2,000 mourners of both races were admitted. Williams was buried in Woodlawn Cemetery in The Bronx, New York City.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bert_Williams

[bisluthq]

Idk I know you want to believe she’s queer to make sense of her allyship with the yntcd video in particular but I just can’t see that myself personally. Taylor’s allyship in other areas is clumsy at best and her history relating to queer issues is pretty spotty (not necessarily her fault growing up making gay jokes & not knowing the severity, or the homophobic line in PTB but still). The DOR announcement coming only a few hours after she posted her allyship post is in line with that. I think she’s a nice person and genuinely cares about her queer fans, but a great deal of her allyship especially in the Lover era felt like corporations rainbow-washing during pride month and putting out statements that are supposed to appeal to the broadest demographics in the queer community and “safe” enough for straight audiences. like the YNTCD video felt like an ad big business would run to show how progressive they are.

Okay so let’s do this one too. If it was just YNTCD I’d agree with you and I wouldn’t even be like… mad about it lol beyond an eye roll. Like we know pride has been commercialized and while YNTCD is extremely stupid from a lyrical standpoint the video is basically the same as Nike putting rainbow flags in the windows for June and forgetting about it come July.

But here’s where it gets tricky - in MA, when making ME! (a song about celebrating Taylor) - she says, with her whole chest “gay pride makes me me”. If she’s a dumb straight girl that’s like very bad lol especially if she, as she implies in the Vogue interview where she confused the reporter, never really felt like she did enough. Girl how is it something that makes you you? She doesn’t say “allyship makes me me” which is a weird flex but like okay I guess you can love gay people or whatever. She says gay PRIDE makes her her.

We can still think she’s just stupid at that point and stepping into a lane that isn’t hers. We can say “okay she’s just dumb dudes”.

But then we go further back in time and we get something like her Rep tour pride speech where this woman - who is publicly straight presenting, and who had yet to make her gays!!!! era - says that her pride message is for all the queer people who haven’t come out and hope to one day live their truth. That’s like a very nuanced point. I haven’t seen a straight person - unless they’re a very good ally which as we’ve already said based on YNTCD she clearly isn’t - make that point before. Straight people celebrate out gays dude. So which is it, is Taylor so stupid and such a bad ally that she made YNTCD and compared online bullying to homophobia or is she capable of nuanced points digging into the lived experience of queer people?

The simplest solve for me is she’s like Kinsey 1-2 and likes women sometimes and is confused about that because she also likes men and is SO in the public eye that coming out as like “I’m a bit fruity but I love British dick” will just draw pushback from a range of audiences. And she toyed with the idea of embracing this in Lover era because she was having an “I’m 30 what am I doing” crisis and she was fairly secure in her relationship and felt safer to think about past experiences but then realized it’s a very bad no good idea to do so (and I agree with her tbh like I see no real societal point in yet another pop star being like “yeah I’ve kissed a girl and I’ve liked it”).

I think it’s possible she’s very straight and just a bit of an idiot on this type of thing, but if we look at everything from the Rep Tour pride speech to the entirety of Lover era to “Happy Pride to you too!” out of nowhere this year I think it’s reasonable to entertain fruity Swift.

Do we know that’s the case? No but she comes off better if she is lmao and because I like her it makes more sense to give her the benefit of the doubt and say “no one owes anyone a coming out” than to be like “wow this girl is dumb and a bad ally.”

[pretimasafghanistanlitblog]

“Ten Interesting Afghani Novels”

1. Under the Persimmon Tree by Suzanne Fisher Staples

Intertwined portraits of courage and hope in Afghanistan and Pakistan Najmah, a young Afghan girl whose name means "star," suddenly finds herself alone when her father and older brother are conscripted by the Taliban and her mother and newborn brother are killed in an air raid. An American woman, Elaine, whose Islamic name is Nusrat, is also on her own. She waits out the war in Peshawar, Pakistan, teaching refugee children under the persimmon tree in her garden while her Afghan doctor husband runs a clinic in Mazar-i-Sharif, Afghanistan.

Najmah's father had always assured her that the stars would take care of her, just as Nusrat's husband had promised that they would tell Nusrat where he was and that he was safe. As the two look to the skies for answers, their fates entwine. Najmah, seeking refuge and hoping to find her father and brother, begins the perilous journey through the mountains to cross the border into Pakistan. And Nusrat's persimmon-tree school awaits Najmah's arrival. Together, they both seek their way home.

Known for her award-winning fiction set in South Asia, Suzanne Fisher Staples revisits that part of the world in this beautifully written, heartrending novel. (goodreads.com)

2. Words in the Dust by Trent Reedy

Winner of the Christopher Medal and a "heart-wrenching" Al Roker's Book Club selection on the Today Show.

Zulaikha hopes. She hopes for peace, now that the Taliban have been driven from Afghanistan; a good relationship with her hard stepmother; and one day even to go to school, or to have her cleft palate fixed. Zulaikha knows all will be provided for her--"Inshallah," God willing. Then she meets Meena, who offers to teach her the Afghan poetry she taught her late mother. And the Americans come to her village, promising not just new opportunities and dangers, but surgery to fix her face. These changes could mean a whole new life for Zulaikha--but can she dare to hope they'll come true? (Amazon.com)

3. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

A Thousand Splendid Suns is a breathtaking story set against the volatile events of Afghanistan's last thirty years - from the Soviet invasion to the reign of the Taliban to post-Taliban rebuilding - that puts the violence, fear, hope, and faith of this country in intimate, human terms. It is a tale of two generations of characters brought jarringly together by the tragic sweep of war, where personal lives - the struggle to survive, raise a family, find happiness - are inextricable from the history playing out around them.

Propelled by the same storytelling instinct that made The Kite Runner a beloved classic, A Thousand Splendid Suns is at once a remarkable chronicle of three decades of Afghan history and a deeply moving account of family and friendship. It is a striking, heart-wrenching novel of an unforgiving time, an unlikely friendship, and an indestructible love - a stunning accomplishment. (goodreads.com)

4. Swallows of Kabul by Yasmina Khadra 

Since the ascendancy of the Taliban the lives of Mosheen and his beautiful wife, Zunaira, have been gradually destroyed. Mosheen's dream of becoming a diplomat has been shattered and Zunaira can no longer even appear on the streets of Kabul unveiled. Atiq is a jailer who guards those who have been condemned to death; the darkness of prison and the wretchedness of his job have seeped into his soul. Atiq's wife, Musarrat, is suffering from an illness no doctor can cure. Yet, the lives of these four people are about to become inexplicably intertwined, through death and imprisonment to passion and extraordinary self-sacrifice.

The Swallows of Kabul is an astounding and elegiac novel of four people struggling to hold on to their humanity in a place where pleasure is a deadly sin and death has become routine. (goodreads.com)

5. The Pearl That Broke Its Shell by Nadia Hashimi

Afghan-American Nadia Hashimi's literary debut novel is a searing tale of powerlessness, fate, and the freedom to control one's own fate that combines the cultural flavor and emotional resonance of the works of Khaled Hosseini, Jhumpa Lahiri, and Lisa See.

In Kabul, 2007, with a drug-addicted father and no brothers, Rahima and her sisters can only sporadically attend school, and can rarely leave the house. Their only hope lies in the ancient custom of bacha posh, which allows young Rahima to dress and be treated as a boy until she is of marriageable age. As a son, she can attend school, go to the market, and chaperone her older sisters.

But Rahima is not the first in her family to adopt this unusual custom. A century earlier, her great-great grandmother, Shekiba, left orphaned by an epidemic, saved herself and built a new life the same way.

Crisscrossing in time, The Pearl the Broke Its Shell interweaves the tales of these two women separated by a century who share similar destinies. But what will happen once Rahima is of marriageable age? Will Shekiba always live as a man? And if Rahima cannot adapt to life as a bride, how will she survive? (Amazon.com)

6. Shooting Kabul By N.H. Senzai

In the summer of 2001, twelve-year-old Fadi's parents make the difficult decision to illegally leave Afghanistan and move the family to the United States. When their underground transport arrives at the rendezvous point, chaos ensues, and Fadi is left dragging his younger sister Mariam through the crush of people. But Mariam accidentally lets go of his hand and becomes lost in the crowd, just as Fadi is snatched up into the truck. With Taliban soldiers closing in, the truck speeds away, leaving Mariam behind.

Adjusting to life in the United States isn't easy for Fadi's family, and as the events of September 11th unfold the prospects of locating Mariam in a war torn Afghanistan seem slim. When a photography competition with a grand prize trip to India is announced, Fadi sees his chance to return to Afghanistan and find his sister. But can one photo really bring Mariam home?

Based in part on Ms. Senzai's husband's own experience fleeing his home in Soviet-controlled Afghanistan in the 1970's, Shooting Kabul is a powerful story of hope, love, and perseverance. (goodreads.org)

7. Green on Blue: A Novel by Elliot Ackerman 

Aziz and his older brother Ali are coming of age in a village amid the pine forests and endless mountains of eastern Afghanistan. They are poor, but inside their mud-walled home, the family has stability, love, and routine. One day a convoy of armed men arrives in their village and their world crumbles. The boys survive and make their way to a small city, where they gradually begin to piece together their lives. But when US forces invade the country, militants strike back. A bomb explodes in the market, and Ali is brutally injured.

To save his brother, Aziz must join the Special Lashkar, a US-funded militia. As he rises through the ranks, Aziz becomes mired in the dark underpinnings of his country’s war, witnessing clashes between rival Afghan groups—what US soldiers call “green on green” attacks—and those on US forces by Afghan soldiers, violence known as “green on blue.” Trapped in a conflict both savage and contrived, Aziz struggles to understand his place. Will he embrace the brutality of war or leave it behind, and risk placing his brother—and a young woman he has come to love—in jeopardy?

Green on Blue has broken new ground in the literature of our most recent wars, accomplishing an astonishing feat of empathy and imagination. Writing from the Afghan perspective, “Elliot Ackerman has done something brave as a writer and even braver as a soldier: He has touched, for real, the culture and soul of his enemy” (The New York Times Book Review). (barnesandnoble.com)

8. Caravans by James A. Michener

First published in 1963, James A. Michener’s gripping chronicle of the social and political landscape of Afghanistan is more relevant now than ever. Combining fact with riveting adventure and intrigue, Michener follows a military man tasked, in the years after World War II, with a dangerous assignment: finding and returning a young American woman living in Afghanistan to her distraught family after she suddenly and mysteriously disappears. A timeless tale of love and emotional drama set against the backdrop of one of the most important countries in the world today, Caravans captures the tension of the postwar period, the sweep of Afghanistan’s remarkable history, and the inescapable allure of the past. (barnesandnoble.com)

 9. A Cup of Friendship: A Novel by Deborah Rodriguez

From the author of the “bighearted . . . inspiring” (Vogue) memoir Kabul Beauty School comes to a fiction debut as compelling as real life: the story of a remarkable coffee shop in the heart of Afghanistan, and the men and women who meet there - thrown together by circumstance, bonded by secrets, and united in an extraordinary friendship.

After hard luck and some bad choices, Sunny has finally found a place to call home - it just happens to be in the middle of a war zone. The thirty-eight-year-old American’s pride and joy is the Kabul Coffee House, where she brings hospitality to the expatriates, misfits, missionaries, and mercenaries who stroll through its doors. She’s especially grateful that the busy days allow her to forget Tommy, the love of her life, who left her in pursuit of money and adventure.

Working alongside Sunny is the maternal Halajan, who vividly recalls the days before the Taliban and now must hide a modern romance from her ultratraditional son - who, unbeknownst to her, is facing his own religious doubts. Into the café come to Isabel, a British journalist on the trail of a risky story; Jack, who left his family back home in Michigan to earn “danger pay” as a consultant; and Candace, a wealthy and well-connected American whose desire to help threatens to cloud her judgment.

When Yazmina, a young Afghan from a remote village, is kidnapped and left on a city street pregnant and alone, Sunny welcomes her into the café and gives her home - but Yazmina hides a secret that could put all their lives in jeopardy. As this group of men and women discover that there’s more to one another than meets the eye, they’ll form an unlikely friendship that will change not only their own lives but the lives of an entire country.

Brimming with Deborah Rodriguez’s remarkable gift for depicting the nuances of life in Kabul, and filled with vibrant characters that readers will truly care about, A Cup of Friendship is the best kind of fiction - full of heart yet smart and thought-provoking. (Amazon.com)

 10. In the Sea There Are Crocodiles By Fabio Geda

What would you do if, when you were ten, you were left to fend for yourself, and, in order to survive, you had to undertake a harrowing journey all the way from Afghanistan to Italy?

In early 2002, Enaiatollah Akbari’s village fell prey to the Taliban. His mother, fearing for his life, led him across the border. So began Enaiat’s remarkable and often publishing five-year ordeal—trekking across bitterly cold mountains, riding the suffocating false bottom of a truck, steering an inflatable raft in violent waters—through Iran, Turkey, Pakistan, and Greece, before he eventually sought political asylum in Italy, all before he turned fifteen years old.

Here Fabio Geda delivers the moving true story of Enaiat’s extraordinary will to survive and of the accidental brotherhood he found with the boys he met along the way. In the Sea There Are Crocodiles brilliantly captures Enaiat’s engaging voice and humor, in what is a truly epic story of hope and survival, for readers of all ages. (barnesandnoble.com) 

[probably-eating-poptarts]

New  Blood | Chapter 2

Tensions rise and plans are made

Universe: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Pairing: Thomas Hewitt x OC

Word count: 1,980

| Chapter 1 |

A/N: This chapter was honestly so hard to write considering the fact that, like… nothing interesting happens 😂 But I felt it ended where it needed to end, and I have ideas already set for where I want this story to go, so stay tuned! (@tentacles-and-coffee, would you like sum tag? 👀)

Chapter song: Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival

✧༝┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉༝✧

That night was chaos at the Hewitt house.

“What the hell were you thinkin’, Ma? That bitch should be on Tommy’s choppin’ block, not off runnin’ your damn errands!”

“Now Charlie, you oughta know by now we can’t just kill off every single person that comes through; someone’s gonna catch on eventually–”

“It’s Hoyt, goddammit! Hoyt!”

A bony, long-fingered fist slammed into the worn butcher block table with enough force to topple one of the cloudy old mason jars spaced around at each place setting, and spittle flew from pooched, cracked lips. Luda Mae threw her hands up in exasperation before stomping into the kitchen, fed up with her son’s tantrums.

She returned a moment later, setting down a casserole dish fresh out of the stove. “That was a good girl, I just know it. She was just passin’ through and there wasn’t no reason at all to do away with her! Besides, her granddaddy is old John Elwood and you know he and his kin would come snoopin’ around if she up and disappeared!”

Hoyt spat carelessly onto the scuffed hardwood and curled his lip in a mockery of a smile. “You just jealous, Mama?” he wheedled. “Sad that you ain’t had no little bitch to gussy up, huh? Is that it?”

“That’s enough, now!” She snapped, her tone booking no room for further argument. “You won’t lay a single finger on that girl if I have anything to say about it, so just hush up and eat your supper.”

The old woman sat herself in her chair with a sense of finality, staring down her eldest child as if daring him to open his mouth again. Luda Mae had given her boy a lot of slack after his return from the war, and she loved him dearly despite the attitude he liked to give her these days, but at some point a mother just has to put her foot down.

The two locked eyes for several tense moments before Hoyt sucked sourly at his teeth and called over his shoulder, “C’mon in here, Tommy, and let’s eat.”

From the shadows of the hallway a looming shape moved; dim light from the dining room spilling over the burly, hulking form of the youngest Hewitt as he ducked under the doorway to enter the room. He had been patiently awaiting his adopted brother’s permission to join the rest of the family as always, but he found his thoughts distracted from his meal tonight with the topic of their discussion. Who was this girl, and why was Mama so taken up with her? Would she just end up like everyone else who found themselves on the receiving end of the infamous Hewitt hospitality?

He could tell that Mama was none at all happy with that prospect, and he found himself struggling with the uncomfortable possibility of having to choose between the wishes of his mother and the demands of his sibling. Cross as he could be sometimes, Charlie (Hoyt, Tommy reminded himself) had always been the one to give Thomas direction in his days following the collapse of the slaughterhouse; who to kill, who to detain, who to hobble for his… ‘personal enjoyment’.

But if his brother commanded him to kill this stranger, and then Mama told him not to… What would he do?

Shaking off the unanswerable conundrum for now, Thomas tucked into his meal with his usual gusto and decided he would just cross that bridge if or when he ever came to it. For now, supper was hot and the evening was still young yet…

*

“Thanks again, Bobby. I’ll tell Opa you said hello!”

Addie waved farewell to the bearded man and folded the small stack of paperwork he’d just finished filling out neatly as she made her way back towards her truck and now-empty trailer, hauling herself into the driver’s seat before cranking the engine and pulling out of the livestock pavilion.

Just a ways down the road - right where Luda Mae said it would be - a tiny little tea shop sat tucked away on the downtown strip between a record store and a newly refurbished post office. Addie had to drive almost half a mile more to find parking that accommodated the size of her rig, but she enjoyed the walk nonetheless as she made her way back past quaint storefronts and other folks out for a morning stroll.

The shop itself was cozy, if not slightly disorganized on the inside, but the rather eccentric older woman behind the desk knew exactly where everything was when Addie explained what she was after. When she finally left the store nearly a half hour later - the small silver bells above the door tinkling a merry goodbye over her head - she had two boxes of green tea and a little novelty tea strainer she’d been… somewhat coerced into buying all tucked away in a little paper bag under her arm.

From there it was just one quick stop by Luda Mae’s place, and then she’d be on her way home. The trek out always took much longer since she made extra stops at other farms to pick up livestock, but if she played her cards right, she’d probably make it back to Elwood Dairy by suppertime.

Someone at the pavilion had even managed to fix her radio, so with the windows cranked down and CCR blasting over the speakers, it was only just before noon when she found the little turnoff and rolled into the diner’s parking lot.

Roiling thunderclouds were gathering as Addie made her way across the asphalt towards the rickety front steps, and she paused for just a moment to study the looming darkness reaching out across the restless treetops in the distance.

“Looks like we’ll be in for a pretty nasty summer storm,” came Luda Mae’s voice from just behind the porch door. She pushed the screen open with her elbow and waved Addie inside, ushering her towards one of the antique tables where a porcelain teapot and mismatched teacups sat waiting.

The two women chatted amicably for a while as the tea Addie had acquired steeped; watching the broiling noon sun slowly and mercifully fade away beneath the creeping shadows of the oncoming storm cell.

“So do you stay with Old John up there at the dairy?” Luda inquired.

“Yes ma’am,” Addie replied, “Ever since I was a kid.”

“What about your folks? Do y’all all live on the property together?”

The younger girl pursed her lips and looked down into her cup, swirling the dark contents within.

“M’not really sure where my biological father is,” she finally confessed. “And my mom signed over custody to my grandparents when I was about six, so I’ve been with them almost my whole life. She comes around now and again, but we don’t really see her all that often.”

Her shoulders lifted and fell in a quick, nonchalant shrug. “Besides, growing up on the farm was really nice; and with Oma being sick lately, I came back from college to help out more.”

Luda Mae perked up. Sweet, well-spoken, and educated? “What were you schoolin’ for, then?”

“Well I finished my degree a couple years ago, actually.” The hint of pride in her tone was hard to hide. “I was really just taking extra courses during the fall before I left campus.”

Before she could elaborate the screen flew open with a sharp thwack, accompanied by a growling roll of thunder. Well-worn snakeskin boots thumped heavily against the dusty hardwood floor, announcing the arrival of the scowling sheriff Addie had seen briefly during her previous visit.

“Mama,” he nodded in greeting to the older woman, his sharp, beady gaze boring into Addie so coarsely that an instinctive shiver of apprehension tumbled down her spine.

“Hoyt! Come on in, honey; let me get you something to drink and introduce you to Miss Adeline Elwood, old John’s grandbaby.” As she spoke, Luda Mae tottered up from the table and pulled out a glass coke bottle from the old cooler by the register, popping the cap off on the attached bottle jack before passing it to her son.

The seemingly permanent frown he sported turned a fraction more sour, just for a moment, before breaking into a fractured grin - as if he had forgotten the art of smiling properly. “Pleasure’s all mine, ma’am.”

Both Hewitts joined Addie at the table, chair legs scraping as bodies settled into comfortable positions.

“So you mean to tell me ain’t nobody out here drivin’ that rig of yours?” Hoyt asked her with an air of haughty surprise. “We ain’t used to seein’ decent womenfolk around these parts all by themselves, y’know.”

Addie hid her clenched teeth behind a sociable smile. “Yep, it’s just me. Been hauling cattle by myself for a few years now since my Opa is staying home more often.”

The sheriff whistled low and reclined comfortably against the back of his chair. “Yeah, word spread fast when miz Rosie got sick. How’s she been holding up these days, hm?”

“About as well as can be expected,” Addie replied with a cock of her left shoulder. “We’re all just taking things one day at a time.”

He nodded sagely and took a swig of his drink, still watching her every move like a hawk zeroing in on an unsuspecting mouse.

“Now, you never got around to tellin’ me what you were upstate studying,” Luda Mae interjected with a gentle pat on the younger woman’s arm. “Such a bright young thing, aren’t ya dear?”

Clearing her throat, Addie fiddled with the excess of her ponytail before taking a brief sip of tea long since gone tepid. The wiry old coot was starting to make her rather tense. “I got my degree in animal science over at TAMU two years ago, and I’d been taking some agricultural classes right before I came back home to help around the farm.”

“Sciences, huh?” Hoyt sucked on the dip between his teeth. “Awful high aspirations for such, ah… lovely young lady such as yerself, dontcha think?”

Addie leveled him with a rather icy stare.

“Well that may be so, but since veterinary options tend to be rather limited around these parts, I figured I may as well learn how to do it myself.” She hit him then with her coyest, most femininely charming smile. “Sometimes a lady’s gotta help herself if there’s no man around to do it for her.”

With a sly wink to seal the deal, she pushed off from the table and tipped her head to both Hewitts in turn. “The tea was lovely Miss Mae, but I really ought to be headed on home, now.”

“Oh please, sweetheart, don’t go botherin’ with all that ‘Miss’ stuff.” The older woman began to gather their empty china. “Luda Mae will do just fine now.”

Nodding her understanding, Addie swapped final goodbyes and stepped back into the oppressive Texas heat, barely deterred by the flagging breeze pulling the surging storm cell ever closer.

“You drive careful now, y’hear?” Luda Mae called from beyond the screen. Hoyt stood at her shoulder - an ominous figure looming within his mother’s shadow - and he crooked his fingers at her in a little wave as he smiled that rusted out grin around the wad of tobacco always present within the rotting crease of his lips.

Ingrained southern manners had the young woman returning that broken-doll gesture with the barest tilt of her head in acknowledgment, and she clambered quickly into the confines of her truck cab where she felt a modicum of safety behind thick glass and sturdy American steel. She wasn’t going to outrun this beast of a downpour, but she was ready to get as much of a headstart as she could.

Things were looking to get nasty very quickly.

[oharaswife]

From Hate To Love - Alex Morgan x Reader - Chapter 1

A/N : Hello people, welcome to my new Alex x Reader story. To sum it up a little it will be an “enemies to lovers” kind of story with a lot of angst and drama. R is the new girl on the USWNT and for some reason Alex doesn’t like her at all, mostly because she thinks she’s an arrogant person, who loves breaking women’s heart aka a massive fuckboy. Also this is before the WC.

WORD COUNT : 3.2K

Warnings : Angst, light swearing

Anyway, hope you’ll like it.

ENJOY

When Alex first saw Y/N Y/LN, it was on her TV as she was introduced to the world as the newest addition to the USWNT. She remembered thinking that having a new talented attacking midfielder could only be a good thing. But after 5 minutes in the interview, her excitement turned into dread and slight anger. She knew the second she saw the smug look on the new player’s face that she wasn’t going to like her. She reeked of cockiness despite her clear lack of experience and that only infuriated Alex. Plus, the fact that she was depicted by the media as “The soccer player the USWNT desperately needed” only seemed to add fuel to the fire. Maybe they weren’t playing to the best of their abilities lately, but that didn’t mean they desperately needed someone new. Alex wasn’t jealous of the new girl, only hurt over the fact that her - and her teammates - had worked their asses off to get to where they were today, only to have all their work thrown out the window because some random 25 yo girl posted videos of herself humiliating people in amateur friendly games. How does a girl who’s never played a game on a professional level - or in any club related team for that matter - become a professional soccer player overnight, worse even, how does she get propelled to a national team without being properly tested beforehand? Part of her hated Ashlyn for showing a compilation of the girl’s feats to Jill who, shockingly, immediately took it upon herself to make her a part of the National Team as soon as possible. But another part of her, a very small part though, felt that the girl could be an asset to the team, at least on the field.

When she first met her, Alex promised Kelley she’d tried to be nice, having shared with her best friend her growing dislike for the girl. But the second the midfielder spoke to her, hatred started bubbling up in her guts again. “Hey gorgeous.” She had greeted her, a smirk on her face, which only angered Alex, because who says that when they meet their future “co-worker” for the first time. She still shook her hand, introducing herself quickly before instantly establishing a distance between them both, which Y/n didn’t seem to mind, or notice. During the two weeks that followed Alex barely spoke to the girl, unless it was on the field or during trainings. Her other teammates though had all grown really close to her, which caused Alex to isolate herself sometimes since they all gravitated around the new midfielder as if she was the new star of their galaxy. Even her own girlies Allie and Kelley seemed to have fallen for her, too busy flirting with her sometimes to notice Alex, which the latter didn’t get at all. How could they be friends with her when she enjoyed toying with women’s feelings? In just a few days, Alex had seen Y/N flirt with every woman she came across. She’d lost count of how many women she’d seen walking out of Y/N’s room when morning would come. Maybe she was a bit jealous of the attention the girl was getting all the time, but only because she felt like she was left on the sidelines most of the time. The only person she could talk to was Servando. Granted he wasn’t physically with her most of the time, but he was always there to listen to her when she needed it, even though she spent most of her time complaining about Y/N.

When Orlando Pride offered Y/N a deal with them, Alex lost it, complaining to Kelley about it this time.

“I have to put up with her smug face and consistent flirting with everyone on the National Team, I don’t need that in my club as well.” Alex had yelled, her anger getting the best out of her.

“Chill, Al. You don’t even know if she’s gonna sign with Orlando. She said she received a lot of offers from different clubs.” Kelley answered her, plopping on the couch next to her.

“Well I hope she goes to play in Europe, where I don’t have to see her. I can’t stand her.” Alex shot angrily.

“Why though? I think she’s pretty cool, and super-hot.” Kelley replied absentmindedly, but regretted her words instantly as she saw the glare Alex sent her way. She chose to drop the subject knowing how Alex would get whenever her name was mentioned. It wasn’t until a few days later, at another press conference that Y/N announced that she would be signing with the Thorns, much to Sonnett and Tobin’s pleasure, who felt like they’d found a sister in Y/N. Alex was only happy because she wouldn’t have to see her that often hopefully.

For now though, she was going to have to be around her for a month, as the January camp was starting today, to prepare for the 2019 World Cup in France.

Alex was happy to see most of her best friends again, at least the ones she didn’t get to see in the past month, but was secretly hoping they wouldn’t be obsessing over Y/N like last time. She was one of the first ones to arrive to the hotel. The team soon started arriving in groups, depending on where they were playing the rest of the year. The first ones to arrive were the Royal girls and Alex was excited to see Kelley again, especially without Y/N being around to steal her away, to steal anyone away for that matter.

ALEX’S POINT OF VIEW

The fact that I was rooming with my best friend did help, maybe we’d get to hang out as much as we used to, at least I hoped so. I didn’t know exactly when Y/N arrived, but since Tobin and Christen knocked on our door to say hi, I assumed the new Portland player was here as well. It wasn’t until we made our way to dinner that I saw her. She was in the hotel lobby with the rest of the girls, probably waiting for Preath, Kelley and I so we could all go and eat out, to catch up. She was in the midst of a hug with Julie when her eyes fell on me or more like on us. A small smirk made its way to her face while I just rolled my eyes, seeing Kelley sprint towards the girl and jump into her arms, engulfing her in a hug. Dread overcame me as I got closer.

“Hey Alex.” was all she said as she saw me, no unwanted compliments or sweet names which made me frown slightly. She usually couldn’t help but use pet names with me, no matter how much I hated it, or her for the matter.

“Hi.” I answered, not wanting to be impolite.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Kelley give her a thumbs up, making Y/N roll her eyes.

“What was that about?” I questioned Kelley. But got no real answer from her, she just shrugged her shoulders before we all started walking outside. I made a mental note to ask about it again later, not wanting to drop the subject, especially if it had something to do with me.

—

Dinner went surprisingly well, at least at first. I was more involved in the conversation than last time we all were together, as Y/N spent practically the whole lunch talking to Sonny, Megan and Ashlyn. But of course, she had to ruin everything again. In the middle of dinner, she got up as the girls started cheering her on, causing the rest of us to look her way. She walked towards the bar, with her typical smug grin on her face. She turned around sending a quick wink to Megan before she reached the bar.

“What’s going on?” Kelley asked as the cheers died down and everyone started looking intently in the direction of the bar.

“She said that the bartender was beautiful, so we dared her to get her number in less than 3 minutes.” Sonnett answered before adding. “Which I’m pretty sure is impossible.” She added before checking the timer on Megan’s phone, ready to yell LOSER the second it would reach three minutes.

Why she always had to be such a fuckboy was something I didn't get. All I knew was that it was pissing me off. It seemed like everything she did was angering me, and I had no control over it. I was hoping she’d get rejected but as I saw the flirtatious smile on the bartender’s face, I groaned earning a confused look from Kelley. Before we even had the time to process it, she was returning to the table, faintly smirking as Megan stopped the timer.

“Sooo?” Ashlyn started wiggling her eyebrows. “Did you get it?”

Y/N stepped closer to look at the timer before her smirk turned into a grin, nodding her head.

“And it only took 2 minutes.” She shot arrogantly, as she proceeded to show the new marked phone number on her forearm, with the name Leana written next to it.

“Nothing to be proud about.” I heard myself say before I could even process it causing everyone to look at me.

“Al-” Kelley started probably trying to get me to back off, but she instantly got interrupted by Y/N.

“Why not?” She shot at me, with a daring look on her face.

“Well I don’t think you should be proud to be a fuckboy.” I answered truthfully, tired of having to stay civil with her. Weirdly enough, that brought a smile to her face as the rest of the girls just glared at me.

“You should probably stop talking now Janice.” Allie said. Even she was siding with her apparently which only fuelled my anger more.

“No, I’m curious. What’s a fuckboy to you?” She asked resting her chin on her hand, as she looked at me intently, her trademark smirk not leaving her face even for a second. I looked at her, as if questioning if she actually wanted an answer, but she only looked at me like she was amused.

“Well to make it short, a fuckboy is someone who doesn’t respect women, and doesn’t care about their feelings. Someone who only cares about sex and is self-absorbed. Someone who doesn’t actually have a heart and doesn’t care how many she breaks. That’s literally you.” I answered proudly, sure of myself and that seemed to make her face fall slightly.

“Alex for fuck’s sake.” Ali shot, clearly angry at me now, her head falling into her hands. But I didn't back down, I was only speaking the truth.

“Well it’s good to know what you really think about me at last.” She said after some time. I was waiting for her to retort, deny or maybe proudly admitting that she enjoyed being a player but none of that came. Instead, she eventually got up, excused herself, telling the girls she’s meet them at the hotel, and got up before leaving without another word leaving me confused.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ashlyn shot, anger winning her over. They were all glaring at me, absolutely all of them, some were fuming more than the others. Even Christen who is the literal embodiment of peace, was looking at me with hatred.

“I’m only speaking the truth.” I retorted, shrugging my shoulders.

“No you’re not.” Tobin interfered. “You don’t even know her. You’ve never made an effort to actually talk to her. So how would you know if she respects women or not or if she has a heart.” Disappointment was written all over her face much to my surprise.

“I honestly didn’t peg you for the petty kind of person.” Sonnett finally shot before everyone focused on their lunch again, in silence this time, because of me.

—————

READER’S POINT OF VIEW

Heading back to the hotel, Alex’s words resonated in my mind. I knew she didn’t like me that much, I just had no idea why until today. It was stupid of me to ask Kelley what I could do to make her like me more, not enjoying the fact that there was tension between me and my teammate. But clearly, she had an opinion of me and didn’t want it to change, so why should I try anymore. I walked back to my room, taking a quick shower before I walked up to the roof, knowing I would find comfort staring at the stars, or more like I’d get lost in them and forget what happened. I sat down, leaning against the wall on the roof and lost myself in my thoughts. It did hurt a little that Alex would think that about me, because after all she never actually talked to me. We only ever said hi to each other, never speaking more than 2 words to each other, unless it was soccer related. Had she actually talked to me, she would know that I do respect women, that I care deeply about women, but yes, loving someone was something else. I had a complicated story, but she wasn’t interested enough to ask for it, or hear it for the matter. Maybe I should just keep my distance and stop trying to get her to like me eventually. I didn’t know how long I stayed here, lost in my thoughts. It wasn’t until I heard the roof door opening that I brought my attention back to my surroundings.

“There you are.” I heard a voice say, before seeing Kelley walk towards me, followed by Ashlyn and Ali.

“Hey guys.” I answered tiredly, actually exhausted.

“We’ve been calling you non-stop.” Ali pointed to my phone that was lying on the floor as she sat down next to me, a worried look on her face.

“Sorry I got lost in my thoughts I guess.” I replied apologetically, as Ali rested her head on my shoulder, the other two sitting in front of me.

“You know you shouldn’t pay attention to what Alex says. I don’t know why she feels this way about you but deep down she’s not a bad person.” Kelley defended making me scoff.

“Yeah allow me to doubt that.” I said before adding quickly. “I don’t care guys really. I’ve had worse things said to me. I just won’t try anymore that’s all.” I lied. Of course I have had worse things said to me, but on a deeper level, I did care about what the forward thought about me. And obviously Ali knew I did.

“You do care Y/N.” She pointed. “You told me you used to idolize her. So, it would be normal to be hurt by her behaviour.”

“Maybe, but I’m not a kid. I’ll get over it.” I replied before getting up, ready to go back to my room as it was late. I saw the sad looks they exchanged before they all followed me out of the roof, and back to our floor we were staying on.

Tiredly dragging my feet, I was surprised when I saw Alex standing in front of the room I shared with Sonny. She looked at me ready to speak but I walked past her, opening the door turning around at the last second.

“Let’s not pretend we’re ever going to like each other. You don’t like me, and honestly the feeling is mutual, so let’s just stay professional and only speak to each other when necessary. I honestly don’t give a shit about what you think about me. And trust me you don’t want to know what I think about you.” I shot angrily, not giving her the time to say anything, before I turned to the girls who were previously with me on the roof. “Goodnight ladies.” And with that I slammed the door in her face, not giving a shit anymore. She thought I didn’t care about my actions possibly hurting the women around me, I was going to show how much that statement would apply to her.

————

Alex’s point of view

Having the door slammed in my face hurt more than I liked to admit. I wasn’t used to her being angry and upset. She usually always had a smile on her lips, even though it always seemed arrogant. I turned to the three girls who looked at me as if to say “You brought that upon yourself.” And without saying anything I walked back to my room, heading straight for bed, the images of the anger on her face filling my head. She obviously wasn’t used to girls not going her way, and not falling for her instantly. I wasn’t going to be one of her groupies, that was for sure. Here I was, going to apologize for being an asshole, and she was the one who ended up acting like one.

“You know you could actually talk to her.” Kelley said as she walked in the room. “I’m sure you would like her.” She added and that caused a wholehearted laugh to escape me.

“Yeah I don’t think so.” I answered making her roll her eyes.

“I’m pretty sure you like her, but she just infuriates you on some level, the only question is why.” Kelley added as she slipped into bed to which I didn’t answer with anything, not wanting to elaborate any more than I had to. I didn’t like her. I was in a happy relationship with Servando. The new girl just got under my skin and there was nothing I could do to stop that.

To be continued...

A/N : That ends our first chapter. There’s a lot of angst planned for this whole story but eventually the relationship between R and Alex will evolve.

Next chapter, there’s trouble in paradise for Alex and Servando, and a looooot more of jealous Alex in store. (Maybe some jealous R as well)

I live off feedback so let me know if you liked it !

-Kat

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: This isn’t a rom-com (1/?)

Author’s notes: So this was basically the first thing I started writing when I got back to Keanu fandom after Parabellum, but it remained sitting on my files because it still felt weird to write and share rpf. But after so many rewrites, I think I’m finally ready to do it. I’ll be posting new chapters every Monday and I’d love some feedback. The entire thing is set in 2013.

Wordcount: 2174

Warnings: none for this part

Part 2   Part 3  Part 4 Part 5

As Lilah stood outside the address given to her, she took a deep breath and asked herself for the third time what was she thinking when she let Isaac talk her into doing this. She had so much to do.

Sure, she had the morning off since her advisor was out of town for a conference, but Lilah still could have been prepping her Monday class or even reviewing her paper.

But Isaac knew her too well. He argued that it had been ages since she had taken a day to herself and as soon as the words movie set came out of his mouth, she dropped everything else and came running. The prospect of since the cinema magic working up close was too good to pass up.

So, she waited outside the set, waiting until Isaac finally showed up, dark curls sticking to his reddish face, probably from jogging through the building. He flashed the security staff a quick bright smile, before ushering Lilah inside, guiding the way through a maze of corridors, walking so fast Lilah barely had the time to take a proper look at everything.

“Thanks so much for doing this, Lih! You’re a lifesaver,” he commented over his shoulder. “One of our extras just didn’t show up today and we’re behind schedule already.”

“It’s fine,” she said as they stopped by a table where an agitated looking brunette sat with a clipboard and walkie-talkie. She checked Lilah’s ID, before collecting her contact information and telling Isaac to take her to the wardrobe department to change.

Before Lilah could even finish shoving her ID back in her pocket, Isaac was whisking her away.

“So, what kind of movie is this?” Lilah asked as she exchanged her street clothes for the costume, a beautiful red dress, and some killer heels. “It’s not a rom-com, is it? Izzy, I’ll kill you if you’re making me play extra in a rom-com.”

“It’s an action flick, relax,” he replied, and Lilah could actually hear the eye-roll in his tone. “I will never understand your hatred for rom-coms.”

“What’s to like about them?” she asked stepping out of the dressing room. “They sell women unrealistic, almost pathological expectations for love and romance, also…”

“Lih, this isn’t your dissertation. You don’t have to always take it so seriously.” Isaac said cutting her off as he led her to the hair and makeup chair.

“I mean, one can appreciate all the clichés without really thinking it’s gonna happen to them. I mean, how many couples do you know that started as two unlikely people that are perfect for each other having that first meet-cute then moving on to silently pinning over each other. Then having the classic love triangle that might lead to the epic conflict and break up so they can have a heartfelt reunion later, with the grand romantic gesture, the speech and finally their happy ending…”

And even though Isaac’s words pointed out the improbability of it, his dreamy tone told Lilah he still hoped it could happen to him someday.

Lilah rolled her eyes fondly because he was such a hopeless romantic.

She, on the other hand, prided herself on being pragmatic. She believed in love, of course. She wasn’t that jaded at twenty-nine; but to Lilah, love wasn’t something that just happened. You didn’t just stumble on the love of your life by accident someday.

“You look smoking, honey!” Isaac declared, snapping Lilah out of her thoughts. “Come on! Chad and David are already on set and ready to shoot.”

Lilah only had time to grab her bag before he was leading her once again through the maze of corridors to and ample room that looked a lot like a speakeasy, from the jazz band on the stage, to the smoky air, dim lighting and leather booths.

“Now all you have to do is sit still and look pretty.” He flashed her a teasing smile and ignored her eye-roll. “I’ll check on you during lunch break.”

Lilah waved her goodbye and watched as he moved to a pair of men standing by some monitors talking. They exchanged a few words, before Isaac disappeared again, probably off to run another task.

They filmed for around two hours straight. Lilah couldn’t see much of was going on because her table was facing the band and away from the area the camera seemed to be focused on and she couldn’t exactly turn to see, even if she really wanted to, but she managed to sneak a couple of glances whenever they called cut.

“Ok everybody, let’s take 15,” one of the directors announced.

Lilah stood up, stretching her back to work out the kinks of being sitting still for too long in an uncomfortable chair.

She took a few moments to search for Isaac, but he was nowhere around the main room and Lilah didn’t want to risk getting lost in the building. Instead, she picked a water bottle and a protein bar from craft service and looked for a quiet place to wait for filming to resume.

Lilah found a hidden corner in of the set, out of the way from most of the staff and quiet enough that she could pull out her book. She settled on one of the free chairs to read a little. Soon, she was absorbed by the text, shutting off everything else until a passage caught her attention, and Lilah couldn’t help but snort at it and offer a counterargument under her breath.

“Are you pro or against dualism?” Someone asked from just outside her line of vision, probably catching the cover of her book when Lilah held it closed while digging for a pen in her bag.

“Against obviously,” Lilah replied with a small snort as she looked up, her eyes going wide at the sight before her. Shock making her drop her pen and book, which he picked up.

“Really?” He asked with a curious frown. “Why?”

Lilah as she stared at him, she couldn’t get her throat to work.

He was so much taller than he looked on the screen, with broad shoulders and a strong chest. His dark hair was slicked back with gel, the tips touching his nape. He was spotting a well-trimmed beard, some fake bruises, and a black three-piece suit. Lilah didn’t think anyone could be this handsome, but she was obviously wrong.

“Where are my manners…” he said offering a hand. “Hi. I'm Keanu.”

The gestured kickstarted Lilah’s brain again and she shook his hand with a quick, embarrassed laugh.

“I’m sorry! Hi. Lilah,” she rushed to say. “I’m Lilah.”

“Nice to meet you, Lilah,” he said with a warm smile.

“So, you don’t believe in the mind…” he commented, handing her pen and book back and Lilah did her best to smooth the wrinkled edge.

“As an immaterial entity that exists apart from our bodies like Descartes proposed? Not really. I mean, let’s face it, he just gave it a pseudo-scientific look to the idea of a soul.”

Lilah looked up from her book, catching the way he was watching her with a smile.

“Sorry,” she huffed a breath with an embarrassed smile. Was she really babbling about dualism to Keanu Reeves?

“No, no,” he assured, taking a seat next to her. “Go ahead.”

“Uh… well,” she hesitated, glancing at him again. “I mean, it’s been what? A couple of thousand years? Probably more, but we still can figure out what the mind is.”

“I always thought of it as what makes us human. Theoretically, of course.”

“Ok but wouldn’t that be more like what it does than what it is?” she pointed out. “But let’s run with it, anyway. How does a mind make us human?”

“Well, for one, isn’t it supposed to give us a conscience, intelligence, all that…” Keanu trailed off with a hand gesture and Lilah smiled.

“But those brain functions. Are we saying the mind is the brain?” she couldn’t contain the way her smile widening even more. This was fun.

She loved talking philosophy, but Lilah rarely had the chance of doing it outside a classroom. And here she was actually talking dualism with fucking Neo!

“If it was the same thing, why would we need two concepts?” he inquired, brow furrowing in a small thoughtful frown.

“You just made my point for me,” Lilah said, and Keanu chuckled. “And it can’t be part of the brain either, because theories seem to agree that the mind isn’t material and our brains are very material.”

“Maybe there’s another dimension out there,” he offered with a shrug, leaning forward on his elbows which brought him closer to Lilah.

She bit her bottom lip to suppress the urge of making a Matrix joke.

“Ok, but then how is something that is immaterial influences our very material selves?”

Lilah watched as Keanu paused, considering her argument, that thoughtful frown returning, and Lilah took that time to admire him. If her teen self could see her now, she would probably have a heart attack. Keanu had been her movie crush for as far as she could remember, ever since she watched the Matrix for the first time.

And here he was, in the flesh, just talking to her. It was almost surreal. Was this a dream? Was she going to awake any minute in her bed?

“Alright, you got me,” he said with a smile, catching her attention. “I have no idea, but don’t you think there should be something there? Shouldn’t a man be more than just atoms and chemicals? Something more transcendental?”

“What? You’re a Kant man?”

The words were out of her mouth before she could contain herself. Her tongue slipping on the pronunciation, making it sound like a completely different thing and Keanu busted out laughing, turning bright red.

It took a second for Lilah to realize how it sounded, but when she did, she covered her face with her hands, mortified.

“Oh my God! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean…”

“It’s ok,” he assured, still chuckling. “It’s fine. Really. I am not a Kantian, no but I can see the value in his transcendental man theory.”

Lilah tried to make her mouth work, to say something else but all she managed was an embarrassed chuckle. She could feel her cheeks burning.

“I’m so, so sorry…” she managed, voice coming out muffled. “I just…”

“Sometimes you forget to double-check what are you saying before putting it out there?” He asked with a soft smile and she nodded. “I do that all the time. Don’t worry.”

“Is there a way to fix that?” she asked, finally lowering her hands.

“I’ll let you know when I find it,” he replied with a little smile, before he ducked his head, letting out a small chuckle.

For a moment they just sat there, still chuckling together, cheeks red and awkwardly avoiding each other’s gaze, until someone cleared their throat behind them and making both turn around to look.

Isaac stood there with his hand pressed to the earpiece he wore and a clipboard in hand. Lilah could see he was barely containing his smirk as he looked between her and Keanu and she winced, wondering how much he had heard.

“Sorry to interrupt. Keanu, Chad needs you.”

“Thank you,” Keanu said getting up and turning to look at Lilah. “It was very nice to meet you, Lilah.”

“You too,” she replied with a small smile, watching as he walked away before turning to look at Isaac with wide eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me you worked with Keanu Reeves?”

“I don’t work with him, I work around him,” Isaac pointed out with a frown. “Also, that was the nerdiest flirting I’ve ever seen.”

“What are you talking about? I wasn’t flirting.”

“Yeah, right!” Isaac snorted in disbelief. “Come on. Break’s over.”

Lilah followed Isaac back to the main area of the set and the same table from before. This time, she caught a glimpse of Keanu chatting with one of the directors. She thought his lips quirked into a smile when he saw her, but she was probably just imagining as she sat down again.

“Shit! I should have asked for an autograph. Or is that too weird?” Lilah asked Isaac.

She was doing so well, but that Kant thing threw her off and she went right back to that strange awkwardness she usually had around people she found attractive. Lilah really thought she had outgrown that.

“It’s not weird. Extras ask for autographs all the time,” Isaac said with a shrug. “And maybe while you at it, you can ask him out.”

“Haha.” Lilah rolled her eyes at the way Isaac wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Isaac, no! It’s Keanu Reeves. Are you nuts?”

“Fine,” he replied with a huff, but the glint of amusement in his eyes didn’t fade. “But you do know what that felt like right?”

Lilah frowned in confusion and he flashed her an excited grin.

“It felt straight out of a rom-com.”

­­­tbc

Go to part 2

Taglist (give me a shout if you want to added.)

@poisonedjoinery @ringa-starr @curly-minnie @i-cant-remember-my-old-login

@caryled @beyond-antares @kathorax @krazycags01 @meetmeinthematinee

@red-pill-blue-pill @baphometwolf666

[relatablemormonmoments]

October 2019 Saturday Session Notes

Morning

Jeffrey R. Holland

Anonymous women and men identify Christ as reason for clamor

Find Jesus at center of it all

Our faith can be overwhelming

Love of heavenly PARENTS

Recieve your sight, your faith has healed you

Skeptics and faithful still contend

Faith and service

Terrence M. Vinsen

Build the lord's temple instead of staying in our safe houses

Earneth wages to put in a bag with holes (oooo graphics)

Less wifi and more Nephi

We shouldn't let the gospel be an added extra or just go to church 2 hours on Sundays. Church is extended 6 more days a week

Fair Dinkum->being commited

If we think things will be easy we will lose

Parable of the Fat Lip and Broken Jaw -> resulted in giving our all

Giving our all =/= blessings and success, Giving our all=Happiness

When he falls he shall rise again

Never waivered in faith and goodness, but deeply hirt for a long time

Wound expanding over our hearts

Pain in heart = Pain in soul, If we go to God it can be taken away

What should I do ghat I may have eternal life, that I shall return to God?

Prepare to give up all we have

Consider your ways

I hope this guy becomes an apostle 😍😍😍

Stephen W. Owen

Cellphone intentions quickly become distractions

Missed scripture study and subsequently the blessing and spiritual healing that comes with it

24 gour news cycle = bad

We must learn to recieve revelation

Herd of deer trapped outside of habitat-could starve. Deer can't eat well meaning hay -> starve to death with stomachs full

Spiritual nourishment is not trending on social media

Pride of world causes us to abandon church

Motions of spirituality do not mean true conversion

We need to be faithful, not faithless

Home centered church helps us thrive in days of spiritual malnutrition

Master of distraction, author of procrastination = Satan

Children need more of your time, not less

Curriculum for meetings is being adjusted

Moved to new neighborhood at age 14-> feels like tragedy

Parents, let youth know they are not alone as they walk

Your influence might be the church support that that young person needs.

D. Todd Christoffersen

We can feel joy regardless of what is happening or what's not happening in our lives

Those who serve God and are chaste are more joyful than those who are only obedient

Recieving the gospel makes us feel like a free bird

Be of good cheer

Joy of returning to geaven

Bring light, relief, and happiness ro our brothers and sisters

Michelle Craig

How can I tell when God is trying to tell me something?

Be intentional about creating time and space to hear God's voice

Imagine what would happen if we were as intent in staying connected to heaven as we were to staying connected to wifi

Lord can use your ordinary skills to accomplish his extraordinary work

Dale G. Renlund

New but unwavering commitment to Jesus Christ

Unchanging fidelity to God

MY ARCHAEOLOGIST BRAIN ISNT HAPPY WITH THE IDEA OF THROWING THE ITEMS RELATED TO OUR OLD IDENTITIES AWAY AND COMPLETELY DESTROYING IT

Begin new life in Christ

Spiritual sneeze, faithful flu- doesnt work

Recieve Christ's image more fully.

Constant flow of Faith

"Isn't this the truth that we have heard"

Anchor yourself to the Savior

Oaks

No.

Afternoon

David A. Bednar

Yesss its my boy

Camoflauged cro odiles -> Satan vs. Youth (Packer)

Cheetahs, fastest accelerating mammals on earth

Cheetahs stalk Topies while working in tandem to hunt them.

Alternating pattern to dostract and decieve the Topies and keep them from knowing there was any danger

Older Topies watching give warning and Topies escape.

Cheetahs still pursue, restless.

Beware of evil's beguiling disguises

Restored Gospel light in our lives

Stay awake and be alert

Don't be complacent or careless

A cheetah is a predator, Satan is the enemy of Righteousness

PLAN OF HAPPINESS Provides direction and enduring joy to God's Children

Lucifer seeks to frustrate our progression via misusing our bodies

Powerful parables are obtained from our daily lives

Ruben V. Alliad

Jesus is the Lord of Lost Things, he loves Lost Things

200 copies of the book of mormon in one room

"And when ye shall recieve these things..."

Pray about book of mormon and you WILL know that its true

Found directly through power of BOM

Think hard and answer honestly, follow up on baptism promises

Diligently seek the BOM

Holy Ghost confirms our knowlege

Russell M. Nelson

Youth Battalion

(If any of you saw my previous post this talk is what tipped my Grandmother off about Hitler's Youth)

Quentin L. Cook

Smartphones = bad

Youth must be the focus of Bishops and other leaders

Youth have more personal responsibility at you bf er and younger ages now

Announcements do not limit bishoos responsibility over Young Women

Young Women leader is besf for meeting the needs of Young Women

YOUNG MEN PRESIDENCIES NO MORE

Ward youth council, mutual is retired

Mark L. Pace

God loves us

70 steel piles provide firm foundation

Increase faith in Jesus Christ and his Atonement

Adversaries increasing attacks on our faith

Come follow me a chance to bear testimony and learn differently

Consistent Effort throughout the week

Remodel home into center of Gospel Learning

Come follow me helpsnus establish foundation

L. Todd Budge

Peace and Joy when we surrender ourselves to God

Afflictions and Sorrow prepare us for joy -13th century poet

Afflictions are small

Life full of purpose and meaning

The lord will not allow us to suffer in darkness

How can we make it through the day without the Lord?

Questions and concerns -> Faith and Love

"I don't feel safe, but I am"

Wind never ceases to blow us towards the promised land

Didn't cease to praise the Lord

I really like this guy. He gives me peace and brings me joy

Jorge M. Aluardo

Some blessings come soon, late, or not until heaven, but they will come

Temple

Works at temple bless you with increased revelation and peace

Example of righteous parents

Strong familial chain link

Follow your own council (kid eating too much candy)

This man brings me joy

"Amazing Papa!"

Ronald A. Rasband

Grateful for the Lord's eternal companionship

Promises to improve

Promises to eachother increase promise to the Lord

Partnership with the Lord

The lord will be with you

Women's Session

Reyna J. Alberto

Black clouds which blind us and cause us to question God

When our minds are suffering, it is appropriate to seek help

Together we realize there is hope, and we do not have to suffer alone. Find resources about emotional illnesses!

Isolation thrives in secrecy and shrinks in empathy

When it comes to healing, we all need Him desperately

Nothing you have experienced will change the fact that you are God's child

Lisa L. Harkness

Living under Christ's name

Jesus is here for us

Do we honor the name of Christ

Bonnie H. Cordon

Sure knowlege of divine purpose and identity

NEW YW THEME ( I DIDNT CATCH THE WHOLE THING BUT): I am a beloved daughter of HEAVENLY PARENTS

Shift from we to I

Peace and Guidance will be yours

We need to have shelters and sanctuaries from life's storms

Be a light to those around you.

All classes are now unified under one name: Young Women

Every class should have a class presidency

Make the calling of leading class presidencies a priority

Revelation is real

We need the Wisdom, Council, and Energy in youth council

Henry B Eyring

Divine mission is to help lift the souls of others

We do not know the time or duration of our assignments

Preparation of a powerful loving heart

Minister to every stranger as a neighbor and a friend

We must be a mother in some way

Mold living clay to your hopes in tandem with God

God loves you

Oaks

NO!!! (Homophobic version)

Russell M. Nelson

He is now the church grandpa

Access to all spiritual treasures for Lord's children

How do we draw the savior's power in our life? Holy Ghost will prompt you

Bad men are not allowed- men must drink respect women juice

RESPECT WOMEN JUICE!!

Misogyny bad

Women are society's guardians, wonderful, magnificent

Covenants = Priesthood power for women

I LOVE MY NEW GRANDPA

Encouraged to participate in ward councils

166 temples and more to come (TEMPLES ANNOUNCED IN WOMEN'S SESS? THIS IS A FIRST)

8 new temples -> sierra leone, utah x2 , arkansas, philippines, texas, guatemala, utah

Strengthen your faith in the Lord.

[giftofshewbread]

Apostate

: By Candy Austin  

Published on:June 26, 2020

Hebrews 3:12 “Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God.”

In recent years, several high-profile Christians have chosen to turn their collective backs on God and walk away from the Faith. Famous Christians such as Musicians. Leaders, Authors, and Pastors, some even losing their faith to the point of committing suicide. This is nothing more than an ‘utter tragedy’ to say the least!

From CBN news: ‘Losing My Religion:’ What We Can Learn from Celebrity Christians Who Walk Away from the Faith

20 years ago, Harris’ book on Christians and dating became a best seller, and Harris became an instant Christian celebrity when he was only 21 years old. Harris served as lead pastor at a Maryland megachurch from 2004 to 2015.

He now renounces his earlier teachings on purity, saying they “contributed to a culture of exclusion and bigotry.” Harris has also apologized to the LGBT community for ways his “writing and speaking contributed to a culture of exclusion and bigotry.” He recently took part in a gay pride festival in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Last month Harris revealed in an Instagram post that he has left Christianity altogether. “I have undergone a massive shift in regard to my faith in Jesus,” he wrote. “By all measurements that I have for defining a Christian, I am not a Christian.”

Marty Sampson who wrote music for Australia’s Hillsong ministry years ago also recently posted doubts about the Christian faith on issues such as hell and suffering, saying, “I am genuinely losing my faith, and it doesn’t bother me.” – Source

From CBN News: Beloved Pastor, Mental Health Advocate Tragically Takes His Own Life

Jarrid Wilson, author, pastor, and founder of Anthem of Hope, tragically took his life Monday night, on the eve of World Suicide Prevention Day. – Source

From CBN News: Christian Singer Announces, ‘I no longer believe in God’: How You Can Experience Jesus More Personally Than Ever Before

Jon Steingard is a pastor’s son and a musician, singer, and songwriter. He has been the lead singer for the Christian band Hawk Nelson since March 2012.

Now he has made an Instagram announcement that is generating headlines: “After growing up in a Christian home, being a pastor’s kid, playing and singing in a Christian band, and having the word ‘Christian’ in front of most of the things in my life—I am now finding that I no longer believe in God.” –Source

To be honest, I have a hard time understanding how people who once supposedly lived their lives with and for God all of a sudden decide one day that they do not believe in Him anymore. How does one sing songs, preach, or write books for years at a time and supposedly for God’s Glory, all of a sudden do ‘an about face’ on Him?

All the while, some had made a considerable amount of money from their ‘supposed Faith’ which, in the end, when they decided to walk away, makes it seem that the whole time they were just faking it and ‘making merchandise of Him.’

Such is the case with our Prodigal daughters who will be 27 and 22 this year. These are grown women who still post rants for all to see, mind you, on their social media pages. Rants stating their ‘ungrateful dissatisfaction’ on their upbringing. Lamenting their lack in getting to ‘be their true selves’ because of the restrictions of living in a Christian home.

During their time as children, as I have stated in previous articles, we were in no way as strong in the Lord as we are now. Basically, we were like a lot of Secular Christian Families nowadays who still live like the world. Our girls were raised in church but were in no way made to attend every time the church doors were open. We taught them about Jesus, but we probably only read the Bible on occasion, at best.

Anyhow, nothing was ‘force fed’ or anything like they would have their social media friends believe. Once they became teenagers, our family did start to grow more in the Lord. Our girls seemed to enjoy attending Youth Camps and even wanted to do ‘Mission Work’ when the opportunity arose. They each had their own Bible and seemed to have their own genuine relationships with the Lord until they each fell in love with an atheist.

In recent years, though, as it seems by their posts, our raising them to know and love the Lord and to follow His Word apparently became ‘toxic’ to them. How dare we not allow them to be their own person as a child, with no restraints, and to ‘Do as thou wilt’!  How ‘unhealthy’ we were to want them to do things God’s way! By pointing them to God’s Word, that meant that we were somehow silencing their voice?! What kind of lousy parenting is that?!

All of a sudden it was a ‘detriment’ for them to grow up in a God-fearing home! Look at how much they missed out on by not getting to sin like everyone else! Wait… now that they have ‘apostatized’ and are ‘finally free’ from all of our Christianly toxicity, everyone on their social media needs to know that they have ‘triumphantly walked away’ from all godly hinderances!

Now they can ‘pursue their heart’s desire’ to the fullest extent, by having premarital sex every night, march in any number of gay pride and abortion parades, get drunk several times a week, smoke all the hookah pipes and weed as often as they like, indulge in all the secular movies, concerts, and music, and any other ‘ungodly pursuits’ they may have! Yay!

Whoo hoo! Now all of their social media friends can ‘cyber pat them on the back’ for they are ‘Free at Last, Free at Last; now they can Thank their Father the Devil that they are Free at Last! Being a Christian was such a burden! Mom and Dad who are total ‘Southern Baptist Bigots’ and their ‘quack’ Rapture beliefs can stuff it! We are Women now, and we are gonna do as we darn well please!’ (Tongues audaciously sticking out and devil-horn hand signs galore!)

Yawn… ‘pinky clap’ on their newfound independence as they ‘defiantly and proudly’ march down the wide road to destruction. Whoo hoo. Yay. We are so happy for you. Not.

‘Deeply saddened and frustrated’ does not even begin to describe where we are at in seeing all of this play out in our Prodigal adult children. The truth is, in these Last Days, we feel ‘utterly defeated.’ The enemy has robbed us of so much and keeps on doing so, no matter what! We cannot win for losing.

No matter what we do, we are perpetually viewed as the ‘bad guys.’ We could give all our love, approval, support, time, money, help, and gifts to them and still somehow we would be deemed as ‘the toxic Christian parents.’ Ultimately, we are despised and rejected, year after year; and, frankly, there is not much we can do about it… except Pray.

From Got Questions: Will there be a great apostasy during the end times?

The Bible indicates that there will be a great apostasy during the end times. The “great apostasy” is mentioned in 2 Thessalonians 2:3. The KJV calls it the “falling away,” while the NIV and ESV call it “the rebellion.” And that’s what an apostasy is: a rebellion, an abandonment of the truth. The end times will include a wholesale rejection of God’s revelation, a further “falling away” of an already fallen world.

The Greek word translated “rebellion” or “falling away” in verse 3 is apostasia, from which we get the English word apostasy. It refers to a general defection from the true God, the Bible, and the Christian faith. Every age has its defectors, but the falling away at the end times will be complete and worldwide. The whole planet will be in rebellion against God and His Christ. Every coup requires a leader, and into this global apostasy will step the Antichrist. We believe this takes place after the church has been raptured from the earth.

Jesus warned the disciples concerning the final days in Matthew 24:10–12: “At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.” These are the characteristics of the great apostasy of the end times. – Source

Bottom line, Jesus tells us to love our enemies, do good unto them, and pray for those who despitefully use and persecute us. We need to also pray for all the high-profile Christians who have walked away from the Lord in recent years.

Pray that the god of this world would be hindered or stopped from blinding the minds of those who are perishing! That God would grant them and all our Prodigals salvation before it is too late! For Apostates and Prodigal sons and daughters to come to their senses and come back home to God the Father, sooner rather than later!

Time. Is. Ultimately. Running. Out.

Until next time… Maranatha!

(JESUS = THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE)

Candy Austin

*My 2cents worth here, as the Tumblr Author of this page, (giftofshewbread) I just wanted to say, I myself, love the lord, but it’s been a hell of a battle with the flesh & spirit, to become a follower of Christ, it’s the greatest journey you’ll ever endure & it’s truly a battle within, like they say, ‘The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak,’ and it certainly is.  God help us all, I myself wrestle a lot in these past few years, it’s not been easy and I’ve called out God and I’ve been furious with Him and not trying to come from a selfish part of me, just one that is very battle weary and people have become so ugly/cruel/wicked and in my situation, it’s been extra hard because of being alone, not much for fellowship, just thru internet and it’s very meager and so, it’s been a very lonely journey, oh I know the Lord is with us, but yet, we are human and so much to learn, it can just sure be a solo feeling and hard time of it.  Well anyways, holding on, but Lord, Maranatha, Amen !

Leho Lechem 

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on Is This The Real Life or Is This Just A Very Bizarre Fantasy?

• Here are the tags to block if you don't want to see this post on your dash: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs.

• It's...Chapter 10. Often known as the midpoint. I know TRR isn't exactly the most nuanced series out there, but you know what used to happen by midpoints here? Important plot stuff that had buildup and development prior to it happening.

• Funny enough all three chapter 10s so far had something to do with Constantine! Book 1's had him announce he was stepping down and making Liam king, Book 2 had the reveal that the conspiracy against the MC was his idea. And then he actually dies in Book 3 Chapter 10. Now that he's no more, I guess they brought back another asshole dad to take his place.

• PB if you were really in a mood to bring back Bertrand's dad the least you could have done was build it up properly. You had an entire freaking chapter to at least build up on the Beaumont family relationships and issues! Yet all we see is that motorcycle with a hint that never fully gets told and very little besides that.

• Like, the narrative usually takes soooo much time to build everything properly, right? With chapters and chapters of hints? Look at all these things that you built up over chapters and sometimes over books: Liam's issues with his dad...The whereabouts of Savannah...Drake's connection to Bastien...Drake's mom's ranch...Drake's special relationship with his dad...Drake's duel...Drake's secret wedding...oh.

• Screenshots:

Hana: The Abhirio YouTube channel

Drake: @thefirstcourtesan and the BizzysChoices YouTube channel

Maxwell: @itsbrindleybinch

Title: The Beaumont Bachelor Bash

Alternative Title: Proof That Drake Is Undoubtedly Leona's Nephew. Even When He's Trying To Be Nice.

• Now Playing As Bertrand.

Wh - what...?

Okay but this is probably a tiny section and then my MC will come and save the day, right? Right?? I mean it's happened before (one of the most recent times we got a Bertrand PoV was in a Chapter 10, in fact!)

• ...how the hell did a motorcycle fit inside THAT BOX?

• I know, I know. It's mentioned time and again that the package is huuuuge. But that's...not the kind of packaging I'd be expecting for something that large. It wouldn't be SQUARE, at least.

• Okay wait. What was Maxwell panicking and stress-dancing about again? Bertrand isn't cottoning on to this plan as quickly as Maxwell/the LI was implying in that text.

• Okay wait so their great plan for the BBBB was...Bertrand putting away his cutlery and..."roughin' it"? Aren't bachelor/ette parties supposed to be catered to the guest of honour's needs?

Or is "something you want" only meant for Savannah? Because Hana actually read up and did research and tried to cater the entire party to whatever Savannah liked - not drag her along for something that wasn't her thing with "expand your horizons!" as an excuse.

• Like me, Bertrand doesn't fully trust his brother-in-law's motives.

• Wait what.

.• Bertrand is getting a new outfit. Oh he's wearing it already. Okay good. Must be free!

•

WHAT. WHAT. ARE YOU TELLING ME I'M NOT SEEING ESTHER FOR THE REST OF THIS CHAPTER

• I am NOT buying Bertrand new clothes. I didn't buy any last book, and I'm not going to start buying them now. Even if I didn't buy him the swanky maroon sweater last book he somehow wound up wearing it anyway in the finale. I'm sure he'll survive and they'll probably let him wear it for free some other time lol.

• Drake leads the boys to a nearby river, hoping to catch some fish that they can cook for dinner later.

• Bertrand gets...a dilapidated fishing pole. While everyone has prepared enough to get their own, perfectly alright ones. Drake is truly from Leona's bloodline, giving Bertrand stuff that'll make his task difficult (remember how she gave Bertrand a really rough horse to the country fair?). "I just wanted you to believe in yourself", my ass. You're doing this for your own entertainment.

• Also wasn't Maxwell organizing this party? Why does the end result look so much like Drake's idea? Or maybe the boys are splitting the activities between each other or something idk.

•

• That's a...puffer fish?

• The funniest option is the choose to grab Drake because Bertrand calls him "the Aggressively Rustic Drake" haha. It means of course that Bertrand will not get a fish but that's okay, Drake and Liam catch more than enough for dinner.

• But if Bertrand DOES catch that big fish his chest is all puffed out in pride and he notices no one else caught a fish as big as his 😄

• You can TELL Liam chose the next activity, because it's so aggressively Cordonian 😂 You need to shoot an apple with a weapon (preferably a bow and arrow, but the game offers you a rifle and an ornate gun as well).

• Of course I went ahead and shot Drake with a rubber bullet. Sorry Bertrand but I'm sure you can get your Knight-Marksmanship and Honorary Defender of the Realm award in a kinder person's playthrough 😅

• It's a nice scene, quite reminiscent of the first half of Maxwell's armoury scene last book, which involves Maxwell and the MC playing the same game.

• Now that we're done with the apples, it's time to bring out the bubbly!

• "This is not my bachelor party," says Drake when a surprised Liam asks him about why there's no whiskey. Coulda fooled me dude I've never heard of people giving the groom a dilapidated fishing pole to fish with for that kind of thing. I mean like more than 90% of this entire plan seems to cater to your tastes more than his.

• Bertrand (about the bubbly): This is from an excellent region of France!

Maxwell: Which one?

Bertrand: ...Champagne.

😂

• It's now night, so time for some...idk heartfelt man-talk or something.

•

It starts out with the main LI speaking about Bertrand and Savannah's relationship, praising them for how far they've come and there is some emphasis on the fact that they have Bartie. This leads the LI in question (if they're there) to talk candidly about their relationship with the MC and their sadness that they aren't pregnant yet.

- Liam: Speaks of how amazing the MC is and wonders if he's putting her through too much pressure on his Queen with the expectations of an heir.

- Drake: Very similar to Liam's, but this time Liam apologizes for forcing them into this kind of pressure and promises to withdraw it if that's what they want. (Liam will allow it, the narrative won't!)

- Hana: Since neither of the women are there, the conversation goes straight into Liam wondering if he did the wrong thing by placing that much pressure on them, and Bertrand reassuring him that both are phenomenal women and any child they bring up will be a worthy successor to the throne.

- Maxwell: From what @itsbrindleybinch was telling me, there's no discussion about Liam's offer or the pressure from him! The conversation is more centered around his fear that he might screw up in parenting...to which his brother has some of the best responses:

Istg when the writers really allow for those two to blossom on their own, the Brothers Beaumont dynamic is fantastic. I loved both responses from Bertrand.

I'm still wondering why there isn't much from Liam about the pressure he's placing on them, though! I mean, Maxwell and his wife are put under the same amounts of pressure so you'd expect Liam to speak up there too, right? (correct me if I'm wrong, because I can't find a full playthrough of Maxwell's route anywhere).

• The discussion slowly progresses into one about Bertrand's love for Savannah and not knowing how to show it properly to her...to which Drake responds that Bertrand needs to SHOW what he feels and maybe do a big dramatic gesture like the ones you see in romcoms (racing through an airport to confess your love, or confessing it while standing in the rain)...lmao I love how big gestures are something Savannah wants for herself but somehow she can't do the smallest things to help Bertrand feel more comfortable in her own damn home.

• Also I need to laugh at how desperately the writers are now trying to show us how "open minded" Drake is LMAO. TRR Drake looked down on his nose on practically all things not macho (including authentic Chinese food and pink cakes) and now they're making it sound like he's a romcom fan and willing to experiment with a tutu.

• Not buying that serenading scene. I didn't handhold Bertrand into telling Savannah about the Beaumont finances, nor did I handhold him into proposing. He did pretty okay without my help so far.

• The serenading scene has two main components (besides the logistics of communicating and then climbing up to her window) - telling Savannah his feelings and then singing to her. The first main options include suggestions from the boys:

Liam: Very sweet and romantic, with the kind of flowery language you would expect from Liam, and that Bertrand feels so comfortable with that he smiles as he says the words.

Drake: Very much, "I was an idiot but now I've come to my senses and I'm the luckiest man ever because of you" which...sure I can put it down to bias for his sister but now it just annoys me when I hear this. Esp during a time when he's claiming he actually likes Bertrand now.

Maxwell: Is just so fucking funny 😂

Bertrand: Savannah, I'm here because you're my...boo???

Maxwell: Trust me! Keep going!

Bertrand: Ahem. You are my boo, and I'm your...okay I'm not going to say that.

Savannah: What are you saying???

• For actually serenading her with a song you can either choose to go sweet and romantic, or you go "sexy", which tbh seems to be the funnier option because most of it is Bertrand muttering MmmMMmMmmm in place of all the sexy parts. Which is funny considering he and Savannah conceived a child atop an office desk of all places way before any of us even got to KISS our LIs 🤣

• Savannah is happy, Bertrand is happy, the boys are all back in the camp where they'll be spending the night. There's a tiny bit of "foreshadowing" in the ensuing conversation since Barthelemy is mentioned, but very much in a "Dad would be proud of you" way. I put that word "foreshadowing" in quotes coz there is very little it gives us, as opposed to how other things that have received foreshadowing were built up.

• Uh oh. BEAR ATTACK. From Kenna's pet-bear-from-Aurelia's descendant. Who somehow ended up in the woods in Texas 😂

• Drake tries to distract the bear, and Bertrand can either join him or go with Liam and Maxwell who are leading the way to an alternative location.

• We're out in the wilderness somewhere, and getting back to our tents is a diamond option. It's a fun diamond option though, and it doesn't involve me doing any unnecessary matchmaking.

• Liam is the strategist who makes a battle plan. Why don't I get to see him do these kind of things in his actual job PB!! Drake "knows the most woodcraft" and will therefore make a good scout, both he and Liam can draw the bear away, and Maxwell's hitherto-unseen present is now their secret weapon. Bertrand isn't sure about this plan but goes along with it anyway.

• Everything goes as per plan, and Maxwell unleashes the "secret weapon": Bertrand's beloved Cavilieri Novanta 9S motorbike. There's a small hint about him having to perhaps give it away or sell it when his father, well, did whatever he did, and Maxwell somehow traced it and got it back. I'm kinda certain that bike may feature in Bertrand's flashback if he's having one next chapter. Bertrand is emotional AND ecstatic, learning again to control his bike and to enjoy being on it.

• The best part of the bear scene, is when he uses his Duke of Ramsford voice and gives the bear the ole what-for 😂

(Bottom four screenshots from BizzysChoices' YouTube channel!)

• Even the bear could not withstand the severe tongue lashing LMAO. Bertrand has the option of ending this...um...verbal duel by telling his furry opponent to tell his children he has been bested by a Beaumont.

• The bear slumps back home in shame, but Bertrand is worried about what other tests Drake has in store. 'Tests?' Drake says innocently.

•

You're forgetting the part where you constantly blamed Bertrand for everything, knowing full well your sister made her fair share of mistakes. Or the part where you pretty much sabotaged an investigation just to stroke your ego about Bertrand getting her pregnant. Or the part where you repeatedly made it clear that you thought he didn't deserve Savannah. Or the part where you made him cluck like a chicken just before he proposed, just so you could have your moment to gloat. Or the part where you would shoot looks at Bertrand if he even so much as hinted your sister wasn't perfect. Or the part where your aunt kept making snide remarks about him, disrespected him, and gave him a rough horse, while you and your mother and your sister stood by and watched. And NOW you claim that the only person doubting Bertrand is BERTRAND?

Yeah. Well...tldr:

• My gosh. The amount of retconning happening here is giving me a headache.

• Like...I like that Drake can be nicer to Bertrand now and that most of the tension is gone. But let's not act like Drake wasn't knowingly adding fuel to the fire before??

• Anyway, the boys tell Bertrand they are proud of him and proceed to sleep in their tents or wherever they've chosen to sleep for the night.

• PB gives Liam the very, very rare chance to remind Drake that he grew up in a palace. Doesn't mean much, but I'm fairly happy.

• FINALLY. Esther's home and I can finally play as her again!

• If you bought the serenading scene, there are a couple extra lines showing Savannah and Bertrand looking super super happy.

• There's an old man at the door.

• BARTHELEMY???

• Neither of his sons even look like him. And it reads as if Bertrand is less surprised about the possibility that Barthelemy is alive than Maxwell is. What's going on.

General Thoughts:

• Alright, so it looks like this week we will be exploring the Beaumont family history, looking into why Bertrand lost his zest for life and ended up taking care of the estate when all this time his father was actually alive, and how the Beaumonts wound up so poor. There had better be a substantial amount of Maxwell because he's not been getting a lot of attention this book.

• I'm wondering if Barthelemy's return will cause Bertrand and Maxwell's insecurities to rise again, and we'll probably need to help them through that or something.

• Looks like the next chapter might have a young!Maxwell scene or Maxwell's first diamond scene, or both? Idk. I can't say for sure because I don't exactly trust the team on these things.

• There were...elements of the chapter that were good, I'll give it that. Bertrand's got an interesting narrative voice. You can tell it's him by the way he uses titles, by the way he speaks when he is proud of something he has achieved, the language itself that is heavy in its bearing. The scenes were fun from what I've seen. The bonding was good. Problem was...in a better book this wouldn't have been so irritating and such a sign of how not into the most important things about this book the team is.

• Since they had the time and the ideas, why the hell was the buildup to this reveal so flimsy and half-baked? I mean if you're going to give Bertrand an entire freaking chapter, shouldn't you have been using at least that space to have Bertrand speak a little more about Barthelemy? Or build it up earlier? All this time we'd had to deal with Savannah's griping and complaining and Leona's snide remarks, we could have spent learning from Maxwell a little about his family.

• Usually buildup to a lot of these things happen through hints over chapters. But this? Little to none. Maybe like two half-sentences said just before the reveal. It's all kinds of shitty, and it's what happens when the most important Beaumont is a Walker.

• I'm also pretty surprised Liam doesn't get to apologize to Maxwell the way he does to Drake about the royal heir thing.

• So the Walker Ranch chapters started around Chapter 6, and might possibly end around Chapter 12 (with a detour to Auvernal around Chapter 9). That's 5 whole chapters + one more to tour the States itself.

• I know the original idea was to do an epilogue book revolving around the Walker ranch, so there's obviously a lot more clarity in those chapters than in the others. But that is still no excuse. If they were going to change track they should have been doing it properly. There's no excuse for this kind of selective laziness especially when it's been manifested countless times before.

• I also find the whole idea of revolving the epilogue book still pretty problematic. At the core of it that would be more of Drake and his family (which was already happening honestly) and it would mean they are absolutely front and center of everything. If the original idea was to focus fully on the Walkers...yikes.

• Yeah honestly, this chapter was pretty iffy for me. And I'm not exactly very enthusiastic about writing for it, or playing the next chapter.

• Also! For those who didn't see it, this past week I'd been working on an essay about the treatment for Kiara and Penelope in TRR Book 3, and it's here below in case you haven't read it and you want to!

To Be Not Heard: Kiara, Penelope and the Question of Validation.

• Alright! On to the next chapter.

If you like it and want to discuss it, I'd be only too happy to read your comments! 😀

[sarah-writes-stories]

Chapter 14: Living Legend

A Post-Canon Inuyasha Romance/Adventure Epic

Find it on: Fanfiction.net / AO3 / Wattpad

Words: 2,254

Prologue  •  Chapter 1  •  Chapter 2  •  Chapter 3  •  Chapter 4  •  Chapter 5  •  Chapter 6  •  Chapter 7  •  Chapter 8  •  Chapter 9  •  Chapter 10  •  Chapter 11  •  Chapter 12  •  Chapter 13  •  Chapter 14

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

Kagome and Inuyasha stayed with Miroku and Sango's till after lunch. But eventually, Kagome remembered that Kaede had wanted to speak with her and had asked her to return.

"I think it's time we should be heading back to Kaede's," she said aloud to the room.

"So soon?" Sango didn't try to hide the disappointment from her voice.

"Yeah, Kaede wanted to talk to me about something and asked me to come back."

"Ah, okay, well, will we see you tomorrow?" Sango asked hopefully.

Miroku smiled at his wife. It had been hard for her to be without her closest friend all these years. If for no other reason than the happiness that Sango felt at having Kagome returned to her, Miroku wanted to celebrate the young Miko's return.

"Of course, Sango!" Kagome moved to give Sango a swift hug and a reassuring smile before she and Inuyasha waved at the rest of the family, calling out some quick goodbyes before heading out the door and back into the street.

But the walk back to Kaede's was nothing like their earlier walk had been. Now it was the middle of the day and life in the village was in full swing. Men and women came and went along the dirt road, as children ran and played in front of the homes that they passed.

And here and there, Kagome could also see small groups of men and women huddled together, speaking in hushed tones. She sighed, clearly the gossip and whispers of her return had spread like wildfire.

Sure everyone was very polite, calling out greetings to the great Lord Inuyasha and Lady Kagome, but it was the slack-jawed staring that really did Kagome in, until the now-legendary Priestess began feeling very much like a freak on a side-show stage.

'I've walked through this village hundreds of times before,' she thought. 'But it was never like this.'

Before, she'd been something of an oddity, with her strange future clothing and the fact that they all knew she was Kikyo's reincarnation. But this? The unadulterated awe at her very presence was just too much for Kagome. It felt wrong.

"Who's that, mama?" Kagome heard a little girl ask as she pointed toward the pair.

"Hush, child, and do not point!" It was an older woman, likely the child's grandmother spoke. "Ōji-sama and Miko-hime will hear you!"

Inuyasha could smell Kagome's discomfort as he watched her shrink in on herself. He stopped walking.

"Hey."

"Come on, Inuyasha, let's just hurry and get back." She tried to grab his hands and hurry him along, but it was like trying to hurry a mountain. He didn't budge.

"Hey." He said again, trying to get her attention enough for her to look at him.

"What?" She finally looked him in the eye.

"Remember what I said yesterday? You just gotta ignore it. You can't let it get to you. You're still you, just like I'm still me. It doesn't matter what they think."

His gaze bore into her, willing her to accept the truth of his words.

"I know it's just… When I came back, I wasn't expecting everything to be so different, but now I have all of this new power and the people here think of me as some kind of living legend… But I didn't ask for this." She signed before continuing. "Last night, in your– our hut, when I said that I didn't care what the villagers said or thought about us, I guess I was expecting anger or bigotry. I wasn't expecting this."

She waved her hand as though to encompass everything, then gave Inuyasha a small smile before continuing, "Sometimes I forget that you're a prince."

He growled at that. "I ain't no prince."

"But you are, Inuyasha. It doesn't matter that your mother's family cast you out or that your brother rejected you. You've always carried yourself with the nobility and honour of the royal houses that bore you. That sense of honour and the strength behind it is just one of the many reasons why I fell in love with you. Not because it makes you a prince, but because it makes you you."

She was thoughtful a moment before continuing. "Part of me always wondered if that was why, after a while, Sesshōmaru stopped trying to actually kill you. Maybe, hanyou or not, he realized that you were an honour to your father's blood."

Inuyasha really wasn't sure what to think of Kagome's words. He felt pride swell within him at the faith she had in him, as though seeing himself through her eyes for the first time. And he wasn't so dense that he hadn't noticed the change in Sesshōmaru , but he hadn't really given much thought as to what might have been behind it.

He shook his head though, "I doubt it. I think any change in that bastard has more to do with Rin than it does with me."

Kagome considered this. "Maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe it's a bit of both–"

"Lord Inuyasha! Lord Inuyasha!" Kagome was stopped from saying anything else by a man's voice approaching. She looked up.

"That man, he looks familiar…"

"He should," said Inuyasha. "That's Rikichi, the village headman. I'm sure you met him at some point during the hunt."

Kagome thought back. Yes, she had met this man several times, though she hadn't known he was headman at the time. In fact… "I think– I think he was there when I came out of the well the first time."

"That would make sense," Inuyasha agreed. "That's kinda his job, after all, overseeing stuff."

Inuyasha couldn't say he liked Rikichi much, though he was an honourable man who held his position in the village with great respect. He knew that Rikichi valued Kaede's wisdom and experience and had often followed her lead when it came to dealing with their Pack during the shard hunt – heck, it was probably why he had invited them all to settle here – but a headman was still a headman. It was their job to uphold the traditions and laws and to oversee the smooth proceedings of life within a village. Inuyasha knew from his decades of experience that it usually meant that most headmen were, if not closed-minded, then at the very least very conservative in their opinions… And Rikichi was no exception.

Finally reaching them, he stopped and gave them a bow and a good-natured smile. "Good day to you, Lord Inuyasha. I see that the rumours are true and that the great Lady Kagome has returned to us!"

Rikichi had been there in the field beside the well when the great Miko had been pulled into the Meido. He'd seen the Bone-Eater's Well disappear only to reappear several days later. When he'd asked, Lord Inuyasha had said that the Miko was safe, but the headman still had many unanswered questions, and it was his job to be informed in all things that affected his village.

Rikichi began, "May I ask, Lady Kagome, how did you escape the Meido? We thought you lost to the underworld!"

Kagome glanced at Inuyasha. She wasn't impressed by these pointed questions. The villagers knew that she travelled through the well. However, they didn't know that she travelled through time, and she wasn't about to explain one of the most painful experiences of her life to an all-but-total stranger.

"Well… Inu– Inuyasha saved me."

"I see, I see. And where you have been all these years."

Kagome seemed taken aback by his bluntness. "Uh, me? I've been… home… with my family."

Rikichi pressed on. "Your home? Is that where the well takes you when you jump into its depths and disappear?"

Inuyasha started to growl. He knew exactly why Kagome was hesitant to answer Rikichi's questions. "Look Rikichi–" He began, but Kagome cut him off with a gentle hand on his arm.

"I thank you for being concerned about what happened to me and where I've been, Rikichi-san, but all that matters now is that I am fine and I am here… and here is where I intend to stay." She hoped that the finality of her statement was enough to stop the curious headman from asking any more unwanted questions.

Her statement seemed to catch the headman's attention, "Is this true, Lady, that you will be settling permanently in our village? What a blessed event this is! I would ask for your blessing that we might prepare a great feast in celebration of your return if you would allow us."

Kagome gathered her frayed nerves. After this morning's announcement fiasco, she was the one who'd demanded she be allowed to announce their engagement to everyone else. She glanced at Inuyasha before clearing her throat and continuing.

"Thank you, Rikichi-san, for the kind offer and for your warm welcome. But might I suggest that you delay your offered feast for six days?"

"Eh?" Rikichi seemed confused. "Why delay?"

"Well, in six days time, it will be my 19th birthday. It will also be the anniversary of the first time I ever set foot in this village, the day I released Inuyasha from the Goshinboku… and… well… Inuyasha and I have chosen that to also be the day of our wedding."

Rikichi was dumbstruck at her words. He'd known that the hanyou lord and the young Miko were close comrades and travelling companions, and he'd sensed that Inuyasha had sorely missed the girl when she hadn't returned even after the well had reappeared, but he had not been expecting this.

"But… But…" He stammered. "You are the Shikon Miko!"

"Yes?" Kagome didn't see his point.

"Mikos do not marry." Rikichi shook his head.

After the stress of his earlier questioning, Kagome found his presumptuous statement highly annoying. "Oh yeah? Well, this Miko has every intention of marrying."

Rikichi didn't seem to take the hint, "But is not your power tied to your…ahem… purity?"

Kagome felt her face turning red, though not in embarrassment this time. She could have the patience of a saint, but when she came to the end of it? Well, the number of Inuyasha shaped craters that lay scattered around Edo could attest to what usually happened next. None of this was any of his business, but somehow he was weighing in with an opinion about her love life?

'Oh, HELL no.' she thought.

The power of Kagome's aura swirled around her slightly, just enough to lift her hair and give her body a shimmering pink glow.

She began, her voice rising in pitch the longer she spoke. "I don't see how that is any of your business, Rikichi-san, headman or not. And even if it was, even if being with Inuyasha meant that I'd lose every drop of power that I have, I'd still make that choice a thousand times over! He is the only reason I returned to this place and I intend to marry him six days from now, whether you like it or not!"

Her aura swirled even more, the pink glow would likely now be visible to anyone, whether they had spiritual powers or not.

"Kagome…" Inuyasha tried to warn her what was happening, but his throat closed when he looked at her face and realized that her eyes had been engulfed and were also glowing a bright pink.

Kagome glared hard at the man who had insulted her. She felt a bit weightless, as though she might, at any moment, start floating up off the ground. It was almost as though she could look inside Rikichi… look right through him.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha finally grabbed her arm, singeing his hand slightly. But it was enough to release her from whatever strange trance she'd begun falling into.

She panted, taking a few deep breaths, before biting out the word, "What?"

Inuyasha gave her a strange look before Rikichi finally recovered from his shock enough to speak. He broke the silence with a faltering voice. "It is as you say, Lady Kagome. I apologize for any offence I may have caused. Good day to you both."

Rikichi turned and quickly walked away from the couple. The young Miko was clearly even more powerful than the stories of the final battle with Naraku had ever let on. He had never in his life experienced a reiki aura of that much intensity and power. No, Rikichi would not make the mistake of questioning her or her authority again. Better to have her as a powerful ally and member of the community than as an enemy, curiosity be damned.

A number of people had stopped with curiosity to watch the exchange between the great Miko and the headman, but they hadn't expected this. They all silently stared at Kagome, as though none of them were willing to even breathe.

Finally, as her rage subsided, she felt their combined gazes on her and began to squirm uncomfortably, looking around at the gathering crowd.

After a moment more, she looked at Inuyasha, and in a quiet voice only he could hear, she asked, "Why are they staring at like that? I wasn't that rude was I? Do you think it was something I said?"

[ashleaannya]

The 2200, Chapter 1

Everything for Kamiya started with a deep breath. She took a deep breath before writing her hit single “Marketplace,” an semi-autobiographical Indy rock ballad about how men (her exes) treated women’s bodies like a grocery store. It was a hit. “It resonated” was how Billboard described her riffs and runs about feeling like, quote, a “man’s meat market”, with no say in how she should be loved. That was five years, two Grammy’s and three tours ago. She still took a deep breath before approaching the microphone, before recording herself in the studio, and before giving her fans the BTS (Behind The Scenes) content her 35 million fans craved—no, demanded.

           “Let’s do this,” Kamiya said to her herself, breathing deeply and sitting on the goose feather bed in her presidential hotel suite. She adjusted her DSLR camera to better frame her upper body and flipped the lamps on the hotel suite’s end tables. The tripod creaked with newness as she made the micro-adjustments to get her and her hotel suite backdrop in perfect focus. It was a little dark, but it would fit the mood she was about to create for her fans.

           Her phone pinged and vibrated beside her as another thousand comments on her social media rang through. Text messages burst through as people who wanted her money, attention or both made their voices heard in all capital letters, exclamation points and emojis. Without looking away from the camera flip screen, Kamiya reached beside her and powered her phone off. She glanced over at her hotel door, looking at the silk and gold furnishings and designer dresses hanging on a rolling rack. Rows of flowers from athletes, and fellow musicians wanting to sleep with her wilted on a glass dining table designed to seat twelve. No one ever ate there. It was a reservoir for gifts and miscellaneous stuff. She lived in this room now. The floor of this hotel was more her space more than the three homes she paid ghastly mortgages. Kamiya’s eyes lingered on the cream colored double doors, making sure it was locked. What she was about to do would cause her team to beat her door off the antique hinges. By then it would be too late.

           The camera’s light flickered and then settled on a bright amber. Kamiya knotted her fingers in her lap seeing the word “REC” blink in the upper corner of the screen. It was time. She had already left written, detailed instructions for her manager, accounting team, design team, social media team, and news outlets she wanted to break the story. The courier would deliver her instructions in exactly one hour. The timing mattered. Her wishes were explicit and once her video aired, the necessary parties would have no choice but to honor her demands. There would be nothing to second-guess. The video especially would be very clear. She practiced how she would do it and even recorded herself doing mock versions of the act to make sure she would not loose her nerve.

           “You got this, Miya.”

           Kamiya also knew that nothing else “groundbreaking” would be going on in the social media sphere that would distract from her message. The good thing about being connected was other celebrities in her circle and members of famous teams (say a stylists or nanny) told her what dates to avoid. For example, when Kamiya’s second album was set to drop on Sept 1st, a friend of a friend whispered that she should not use that date because TMZ was about to report on an impending divorce. Divorces in her world were common enough, but this divorce was a megachurch pastor and there was digital evidence the break-up of his marriage was due to a transgendered mistress who had a massive social media following. Needless to say, she changed the date. Her album release would have been overshadowed and her release week would have been abysmal. She released a week earlier to the delight of her voracious following and debuted at number one on the Pop charts. The same connections would today make sure her choice went viral. This was her one life. She should get to live her life on her own terms. A tear fell down her cheeks, realizing that her freedom was on the other side of this post. She would have her body back, her mind, her music, her voice. Should she go live instead? That way people knew it was real.

           Kamiya jumped up off the bed and grabbed her laptop. She would record both. Just in case.

           “Hey guys,” Kamiya said, waving at the screen.

           The numbers in her Live Chat jumped from 300 to 3,000 to 2 million instantly. Kamiya swallowed. Her mouth was dry and her hands were damp with sweat. Texts jumped up on the bottom of the screen as her followers flooded the Live Chat with emojis, declarations of love, and sexual comments that would make a porn star blush.

           “Whoa, whoa, guys, this is going to be quick so I can’t answer a million questions right now—um, guys, whoa, um, no, no I can’t do a video chat with anyone. Thank you though that went bad last time,” Kamiya said, laughing awkwardly.

           She glanced up to make sure her camera was still recording. It was.

           “Ok. I have an announcement. I wanted to record it and make it all fancy, but my career started here, right?”

           Thumbs up emojis and hearts flooded the screen in unison. She smiled and tears pricked at her eyes, but she coughed and rubbed her eyes into her sleeves. People were commenting about how they had followed her since abandoned building days.

           “Wow, that’s a throwback. Um, for those who don’t know, let me explain all of the abandoned buildings comments.”

           Kamiya sat up and twisted her long curly extensions in around her fingers. She dug her nails into her spray-tanned legs, leaving pink nail marks. She was already black, but her team told her, going a shade darker would make her skin look even and was the ideal skin tone for her audience.

           “Ok. So most of the videos have been deleted because, well, I was fat then.”

           That comment was met with encouraging remarks and angry emojis. She felt relieved at that response. Then as if reading her mind, onscreen comments appeared. Some people were proud of her ‘healthy weight loss journey’. This pride flooded the comments. She ignored them. She was thin now with the dimensions of a doll, narrow waist and all. She ate 400 calories per day and had more cosmetic surgeries than a Kardashian. She was discrete about them and timed everything so it looked more believable, but nothing was healthy about her new body.

           “Um, yea. I actually started on social media for singing in abandoned buildings with my sister. She would record me singing in old churches and subways and other random places that were technically condemned but had great acoustics. That’s how I build my fan base and YouTube channel. A lot of people think it was from Marketplace, my first single, but I didn’t get attention until after my Abandoned Concerts page went viral or whatever.”

           The comments zoomed by so fast she could barely ready them. The emojis were all wide-mouthed shocked faces and then there were demands for her to post the old videos. Kamiya shook her head and laughed. She did not want to see her old body ever again. Kamiya froze seeing a familiar handle enter the Live Chat. It was @Camera_Cat, her sister. She was in the hotel lobby grabbing dinner and would likely be banging on her door at any moment. Everyone knew that Kamiya hated going live so Cat would be giving her the Catrina patent “WTF” face.

           “Okay, guys, real quick. I have an announcement,” Kamiya said, straightening her back and lowering her voice. She had to say this seriously or people would think she was playing a game. As you all know, I hate social media and, like, hardly ever post, because—well, let’s keep this all the way real, okay. You guys are trash.”

           Question marks and angry and shocked emojis flooded the screen at lightning speed. Kamiya smirked ready to drop every bomb in her arsenal before the grand finale.

           “Yes, you are. Half of you lie to yourself and to others every day and will never accomplish your dreams because you are inconsistent and talentless. There. Now you know.”

           Kamiya jumped hearing rapid knocking on her hotel room. She pulled her laptop closer and swallowed. She could hear her sister calling her name.

           “I don’t care if it hurts your feelings. It’s true. You aren’t loyal to yourself or your dreams so why should I expect you to be loyal to me or care about my mental health. I have done so much and sacrificed so much to make you bastards happy. I’m literally so damn lost right now I barely recognize myself. I hate having you guys around me.”

           Some of the comments were consolatory and others were curses and name-calling. Kamiya did not care. She was right and she would show them.

           “If half of you were forced to be honest about how jealous you are of my life before you could comment on my posts, you would never hate on me. You hate me because your dreams are dead and your work ethic is trash. Do you have any idea what I go through to be here. I’m supposed to be nice to you hateful bitches when you are all collective trash.”

           The banging on the door sounded like thunder. Muffled yelling echoed outside of the room. The voices were getting louder and Kamiya was glad the deadbolt was on because her sister and manager had keys to her room. Well, technically, they could access her room through the hotel app. The app could not work against a deadbolt and an old fashioned chain.

           “I’m being honest when I say I hate most of you. I wish you never heard of me. I wish I never shared my music with you. You don’t deserve me. I give so much to you people. You people who are supposed to be the woke generation. I hope you die alone.”

           Kamiya sat back and watching as the number of people watching her quadrupled. Screenshots of her and clips of her ‘rant’ would be viral in seconds. She smiled ready for the final blow.

           “Effective immediately, my social media is closed. My website is closed. My brands are closed. I am closed. You hear me? You no longer have access to me. You all have officially been fired from being my fans.”

           The word ‘no’ with about a hundred Os flooded the screen, followed by side-eye emojis and comments about her going crazy.

           “There is one exception,” Kamiya took a deep breath. “Moving forward, I am only accessible to 2200 loyal fans. I will hand select these people. If you look at my main page now, you will see that no one is following me and I am following no one. You will also notice that all of my posts are now gone. In one hour, my page will be private, so get your screen shots now. Yes, I’m talking to you Shade Room.”

           The number of people watching her, now exceeding the number of followers she had ever had on any platform. Tears pricked her eyes realizing she finally had their attention. The same question kept popping up: “How do I join the 2200?”

           “You don’t join. I choose you.”

           Kamiya slammed the laptop closed and fell backward on the overstuffed pillows of her European king bed. Phase one was complete. Now on to phase two.

[problemsofabooknerd]

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Through the Ages edited by Saundra Mitchell (Review)

Pride day 12!

Check out the intro to my Pride project here.

Anthologies have been all the rage in YA for a little while now, and I know that there are many more on the horizon. But All Out is the one that means the most to me, and the one I have loved the most out of the many I have read. It is a collection of stories all about queer teens living, loving, and being happy, written by a variety of queer authors. I figured today I would share my full, detailed review of the book, and encourage all of you to pick up a copy of your own!

For those of you who don't know, I have been anticipating All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Through the Ages since the very first Publisher's Weekly announcement almost two years ago. Since that time, I have read more books by more of these authors, worked shortly for the agency that represents many of them, and generally fallen into a rabbit hole of anticipation that I can't believe I've finally pulled myself out of. It has been a long journey. And now I'm thrilled to talk more about each of these stories and my overall thoughts on this collection. ♡Story Reviews♡ ♡ Roja by Anna-Marie McLemore: 4/5 This was a brilliant start to the collection, and only solidified the love I have for Anna-Marie McLemore's writing. There is something so fierce and unyielding about her characters, and even in a few pages she was able to craft a deeply moving story full of characters and a world I instantly understood. I really appreciated her writer's note giving more context to the story, but overall I felt fully absorbed in the collection from page one. ♡The Sweet Trade by Natalie C. Parker: 2.5/5 In concept, this is brilliant. Two women run away from their husbands on the day of their weddings, steal boats, and happen to run into and fall for each other. However, in execution, I wasn't as big a fan. The story felt rushed, the romance uncompelling, and I was already forgetting it by the time it was over. ♡And They Don't Kiss at The End by Nilah McGruder: 3.5/5 I love stories set in the 70s, and this definitely delivered on that aesthetic element. The main character was sweet and I really liked the inclusion of a story with a character on the ace spectrum. It was a really nice story with a great setting, and I will 100% be on the lookout for more of Nilah's work. ♡Burnt Umber by Mackenzi Lee: 4/5 McKenzi Lee sure does know how to make me fall for an m/m pairing. This was hysterical and adorable, and without a doubt delivered on what I was expecting from this author. While I didn't love Gentleman's Guide, this renewed my confidence in Lee's writing and hyped me up for her book coming out in 2019. Seriously, blushing art boys falling in love softly with little bits of embarrassment thrown in? Exactly my cup of tea. ♡The Dresser and the Chambermaid by Robin Talley: 4/5 I will be the first to admit I have a huge weakness for palace drama, and I'm so glad at least one story in this collection gave it to me. While I have had my bouts in the past with queer characters in period palace shows and movies, this was finally what I've been looking for. The romance wasn't rushed, and the setting was excellent. I'm thinking I may have a particular fondness for Robin Talley when she writes shorter fiction, and I can't wait to read her story in Toil & Trouble after enjoying this as much as I did. ♡New Year by Malinda Lo: 3.5/5 So it turns out this is only part of what will be a full book by Malinda, which I suspected based on the summary of her next release, and I think that showed in the story itself. While it was nice, and I loved the setting of 1950s San Francisco, it felt incomplete and I'm excited to eventually read a deeper, more fleshed out version. ♡Molly's Lips by Dahlia Adler: 4.5/5 This was (I think?) the shortest story in the collection, but it absolutely blew me away. I mean.... Kurt Cobain? Best friends harboring secret crushes? Drama? I live for it all, and I can't believe this is the only thing I have ever read by Dahlia. My new goal is to read more of her work as soon as possible. ♡The Coven by Kate Scelsa: 3/5 I kind of expected more out of this story considering it was set in the 1920s, one of my favorite time periods to read about. I did love the witch element, and the setting, but it fell flat considering how many of my favorite things it was trying to deliver simultaneously. I will say I liked the very end of the story the best, though, and I think it made the whole thing feel like it had a solid landing. ♡Every Shade of Red by Elliot Wake: 3/5 Oh, how I have tried to love Elliot Wake. His writing is very, very flowery and metaphorical, which was something I knew back when I read Black Iris. But while I know a lot of people love his writing style, it ends up being sort of a slog for me to get through. The story underneath heavy-handed writing was fantastic, though. I love a good retelling, and a m/m retelling of Robin Hood with a trans Robin as the love interest was just a fantastic concept. ♡Willows by Scott Tracey: 2/5 I'll be honest, I don't have a very full idea of what happened in this story or what the particular queer rep even was. I think it was possibly going for a gender fluid or non-binary main character, but the entire thing was unnecessarily confusing. ♡The Girl With the Blue Lantern by Tess Sharpe: 4/5 Can I get a "hell yeah!" for prairie vibes, bringing it back to the historical fiction I consumed constantly as a kid? Honestly, this was fantastic. Clearly I was a fan of the setting, and the fantastical element was really well done. I'm usually not a fan of anthologies that aren't fantasy having stories with fantasy elements, but I loved this. The f/f romance was great, the writing was solid, and this is a story I would love to return to in the future. ♡The Secret Life of a Teenage Boy by Alex Sanchez: 4.5/5 I can't even fully describe why I love this story as much as I do, but even after just a few pages with the main character I got a little teary at the end? I do love the setting of a scorching porch in the summer and a stranger just wandering through who happens to catch the eye of a main character. I mean, I know that's a specific trope, but I love it. This wasn't a romance so much as a romance-to-aid-coming-of-age-narrative situation, but it was soft and quick and it just made me smile. ♡Walking After Midnight by Kody Keplinger: 2.5/5 I'll be honest, I had to flip back to this story later because I completely forgot what it was about, and that is the biggest problem. The romance doesn't feel earned, and the entire thing is just sort of a there-and-gone situation that I at no point felt particularly invested in. ♡The End of the World As We Know It by Sara Farizan: 3/5 First and foremost, I'm not that old so it was weird to read about a date I remember experiencing in a historical fiction collection? I mean, I was at a New Year's Eve party in December 1999. I know what that was like. But beyond that, I thought this story was nice. It didn't blow me away, but it was sweet and I did really like the New Year's Eve element. ♡Three Witches by Tessa Gratton: 3.5/5 I've upped my rating by half a star since I read this! There are multiple f/f witch stories in this collection, but I think this one is a bit stronger. The romance was wonderful, and I thought the magic was really off-kilter in a way that charmed me. I think the final POV kind of unsettled the rhythm of the story, but overall it was super enjoyable. ♡The Inferno & The Butterfly by Shaun David Hutchinson: 5/5 My absolute favorite story in this collection. As someone who lovesThe Prestige more than I would care to admit, the fact that SDH made it gay is??? Overwhelming??? I can't believe it?? I mean, battling magicians is great, but put a m/m romance at the center of it and my heart is completely yours. I want this to be a full novel. I would cry. ♡Healing Rosa by Tehlor Kay Mejia: 4.5/5 An incredibly solid conclusion to this collection, and it blows me away that Tehlor doesn't have a novel out yet. I know one is coming soon (and!! she's writing one with Anna-Marie McLemore!! I'm not even kind of ready wow!), but I'm anticipating it even more highly after this story. There was so much work done here that it felt like I got the content of a full book in only a few pages. It was profoundly emotional, and there is a deep connection to family and tradition, with this through-line of respect and romance that pulls the whole thing together. Overall, fantastic. ♡Overall Thoughts♡ Like any anthology, I would say this had its ups and downs, but it was a really solid collection that allowed me to read some incredible stories by authors I already love, and some by authors I can't wait to read more from. I do wish, like many other reviewers, that more stories would have been set outside the United States and Europe? I think it would have offered a greater variety in storytelling and really opened up the potential to see so many more stories of queer teens. But beyond that, I really had no complaints, and I feel like my months and months of anticipation were met with a beautiful collection of queer characters living their lives throughout time.

And that’s it for my review! Check out some of my other favorite reviews of this anthology by Elise, Kav, and Destiny. Also, add this book on Goodreads or purchase a copy of your own. Also, bear with me for the next couple of days of posts because I am about to get on an international flight to Australia, so I might be a tiiiiny bit scattered.