#Unable to interact with the outside world in anyway

[completeoveranalysis]

[5]

The UNEASE when one of the fun Mokona quotes of the series (Mokona is Mokona) is thrown BACK AT MOKONA in the distressing time loop situation (The princess means the princess!)

Kurogane visibly SWEATING (from the heat, as Fai observed last chapter?) as he wonders when in the timeline of Clow this is. ME TOO KUROGANE THANK YOU FOR THIS. 

Lava Lamp does his dialogue duty and asks the npc directly so let’s see let’s see

Do you think I will like this answer. 

I do not. 

SEVEN

BABY SAKURA TIMELINE ACTIVATED

BABY APPLE SAKURA TIMELINE ACCIDENTALLY ACCURATE?

I have deep deep appreciation for the murder dads getting to react in shock at these revelations and then also vocally discuss the implications of everything between them. I’m living for this active investigation. It’s all spiraling further and further into confusion but they’re keeping all the pieces together in a logical form for now. And LOVE that expression on Fai when he says they won’t find any useful answers here.

Meanwhile Mokona asks her own question in the investigation (about seeing Sakura, because Mokona is always a darling) but the answer is that she’s not in the castle. The pause in everyone’s reaction to this makes me think the next line he says is going to be even worse. 

INTERESTING. 

This is new information (to us) but Lava Lamp reflects on this as if he should have been able to figure this out all the way back here. WHEN HE WAS ALSO SEVEN.

WHEN HE WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD (or close enough) AND TRAPPED IN A LAVA LAMP, UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL EXCEPT LOOK THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE’S EYE, and he still thinks he should have been able to piece together the mystery from the fact that Sakura did purification rituals at the ruins before her birthday. 

Hindsight can be a bitch to deal with but Lava Lamp is just unerringly hard on himself. 

[thevoidstaredback]

How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have

Danny didn't know how he was doing it, but all the acting classes he never took were really paying off!

'Fake 'til you make it and hope you don't get caught' is a great motto to live by and he is prepared to defend this hill with what's left of his living life.

By some miracle, Alfred hadn't kicked him from the haunt, instead giving him all the same permissions Dick, Barbra, and Tim have! He was warned about going to the Bat Cave for any reason, though. Not like Danny had any plans to enter Bruce Wayne's haunt. No thank you.

Speaking of Mister Wayne, Danny was so ready to be away from him. Just knowing they're in the same building was setting him off!

Bruce Wayne, on TV and in the eye of the public, was a man grieving his lost son. He's a playboy and a philanthropist who couldn't tell you left from right, but he's also Gotham's White Knight; her prince. A family man who's lost yet another of his family and doing his best to move past it.

In private, at least as far as Danny could tell, Bruce Wayne is a pessimist and a narcissist. He's a man desperate for a family, but unwilling to let anyone close, pushing everyone away and keeping them no closer than arm's length. He's stuck in the past, unable to move past mourning his parents and now his son. He is much more Batman than Bruce Wayne and it's only a matter of time before the two worlds collide disastrously.

Danny wouldn't know, but he can make a pretty educated guess on the matter.

Throughout the entire dinner, Danny had been observing everyone. He analyzed how they interacted, how they held themselves, how they ate, and how they reacted to his and Mister Wayne's conversation.

His main focus is Dick. Dick will always be his top priority, but Tim had quickly been added to the list. Barbra wasn't nearly as high on his list of people to take care of, but he was going to offer his help should she ever need it.

Especially because she snuck a nervous glance at Miaster Wayne when he mentioned Oracle.

He hadn't intended to stay the night in Gotham, but he wasn't going to turn away the opportunity, especially because Alfred was very insistent that Danny and Dick stay. And Tim and Barbra asking them on patrol? They both had pretty good puppy eyes, but Danny wasn't the one who made the mistake of looking at them.

Regardless, Nightwing being in Gotham for the night presented the Bludhaven Goons the perfect opportunity to commit crimes unpunished for the night. It wouldn't take long for the news to get out. Danny had fully planned on Phantom being there, flying over to work in Bludhaven before returning at his normal time, but Tim and Barbra convincing him to be on comms presented a bit of a hiccup in his plans.

Dick finding out about Phantom was inevitable. In fact, he didn't plan on hiding Phantom, but the times where Dick or Nightwing were awake never matched up when Phantom was out.

Okay, so maybe he was hiding a little bit.

Tim and Barbra finding out, on the other hand, was a bit of a problem.

Phantom was a hero in Amity Park, Illinois for only a little while before disappearing. He wasn't hugely known outside of the town or ghost hunters, not doing anything to warrant attention from the Big Leagues. (Nothing they knew of, anyway) It was unlikely that anyone outside of the niche group even knew his name, let alone what he looked like or how he worked.

Still. Tim figured out Nightwing's and Batman's identities, probably Batgirl's, too. And Batman is notoriously known for his paranoia and for somehow knowing everything and having a way to counteract it.

Mister Wayne is already looking into Danny, likely having already stumbled across the Missing Person report that wouldn't have gone through, ending up at a dead end. He'd easily put Danny and Phantom together as related somehow, if not being the same person.

Tim, similar to Mister Wayne, needs to know everything. The difference is that Tim's need to know is obviously a trauma response. Something that Danny would like to help him with, but that's beside the current point. It'll take maybe five minutes for Tim to find out everything he can about Phantom and Danny, especially now that he knows that Danny used to be a vigilante.

Sure, Danny could try and hide Phantom from them, but being on comms with them for the night would alert them to even the smallest fight. He's not a loud person, much preferring espionage and stealth over physical altercations, no matter how much his track record disagreed.

So, he's now presented with a choice. Introduce them to Phantom despite telling them that he was done being a hero, or leave Bludhaven to the mercy of her underworld for the night.

He was never quite able to leave stuff alone.

Sam had called him a tutelar.

Whatever that means.

Why couldn't these decisions be easier? Can't he ever have a Cinderella option? Why can't he ever just not decide?

Part 14 Part 16

[ossidae-passeridae]

I'd be fascinated to hear more about gnosticism in tlt if you ever feel like writing about it.

I honestly don't know what's already been written r.e. gnosticism and TLT, so might be reinventing the wheel here, but I'll do a brief description of the overarching themes present throughout the books?

The uh, first layer of the gnosticism onion, as it were.

So to start this off I'm going to give a broad and at least partially incorrect overview of gnosticism:

Gnosticism is a tenth century mess that's loosely based off of Christianity, but then gets Weird. Thanks to some fun political situations in the Gulf, the Christians in the South were isolated from other Christians for decades thus spun off wildly from "mainstream" Christianity. We mostly have fragments left, and a lot of them contradict each other, so working out exactly what they believed/meant is Very Fun and also Somewhat Impossible. (Like the fragments of documents left in Canaan House, you could say...)

That being said, parts of their beliefs we do know better than others. They have the bible, of course, but on top of that they also have this pre-Bible creation myth regarding how God came to be in the first place.

It goes something like: In The Beginning there was a sort of primordial god-soup. This god-soup occasionally emits binary pairs of entities, also known as aeons and (later) twin flames. These binary pairs are two souls made for one another and with one another, and together they are balanced, and perfect, and full of Holy Light(tm). Each binary pair had one grammatically-masculine name, and one grammatically-feminine name. These names do not necessarily relate to perceived gender, and in fact the binary pairs are often referred to as if they are Beyond Gender Altogether. (*stares pointedly at the Lyctors*, *stares even more pointedly at Gideon's name*) [I could probably write a whole thing on this alone, honestly, they're sometimes referred to as like, the fingers on God's hand which, yeah.]

Anyway, in this pure and godly space, there is no matter, only Holy Light. But one of the entities, known as Sophia, goes off on her own and interacts with the shadowy chaos that exists outside of the godly soup. She's half of a whole, unbalanced. And through her meddling she (unintentionally) creates another half that's not pure and holy and full of godly light, but instead a dark reflection of what he Should Be. This is generally referred to as the Demiurge.

Unlike all these other beings, the Demiurge is made of matter. He is the first thing of matter to exist and he looks around the void that he's birthed into, bare aside from him, and concludes that he and he alone is God. (Hi Jod)

Then he makes earth, and heaven, and a bunch of other things besides, the things we know as the universe today. In the immortal words of Douglass Adams — this has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

The problem is — all of these things that the Demiurge has created are made of matter. And being made of matter, they're cut off from the light of Godness (which is incorporeal and made of Pure Energy), thus inherently flawed. What's more, they're never meant to have existed in the first place. The Demiurge is tormented by his failure, but unable to create anything that is not inherently Wrong. (oh look it's the Nine Houses, I'd bet money that there's a link between being cut off from Godly Light and the Nine Houses being the only stable thanergenic planets here)

Sophia, who has watched these unintended consequences unfold and the suffering they've caused, cannot undo what's been done, but she can descend into the material world to share the light of wisdom and try to alleviate what suffering she can. So she does.

The story culminates with Christ being born and teaching all of humanity Gnosis — a special, mystical knowledge that can only come from the Divine, we are not really given specifics here — before he's sacrificed in order to make humanity's ascent beyond their material prison possible.

So that's the broad strokes of gnosticism as a religion, and also first layer of the TLT gnosticism onion. Just the really broad spectrum thematic *waves hands around* Stuff. I've refrained from speculating on the end because until Alecto comes out we really don't know.

If you want anything more specific anon, let me know?? I've been in the gnosticism soup for so long I can't always tell what's common knowledge and what isn't.

[rainbowsylvie]

There are probably Pokémon adapted to environments so hyperspecific that even if people did find them they’d never be able to actually have them due to not being able to survive outside it, just like some life in the real world

It would be nice to see them in spin-off games though, like a new game that’s something like Pokémon snap and legends arceus where you’re sent to document Pokémon such as these, maybe you’re given a Pokémon that can withstand such environment but don’t necessarily need them to surviveoh fuck tardigrade Pokémon this is how they can introduce tardigrade Pokémon this is how tardigrade Pokémon can STILL WIN!

Anyway. Areas like this can include obvious places like the deep sea or high up in the mountains where oxygen is thin, as well as places with high radiation or high up in the atmosphere where rayquaza lives(could be a late or endgame area because of that), hot springs and places on the extreme ends of the ph scale may be difficult to document but they may be worth it

Pokémon could include pallas cats(could be a variant or a new Pokémon), blobfish(do NOT remove them you know damn well what happens), yeti crabs(perhaps a deep sea crabominable variant), that snail with the iron shell, brittle stars and perhaps some Pokémon based on lesser known eukaryotes, such as halophilic fungi, and even Pokémon that live in places real life creatures have no chance in. This is a fantasy world, do whatever.

Now the creatures that live in these areas are usually, well, Fucking Tiny, but if a tick can be 4 inches, I think they can make microscopic creatures be inch big Pokémon. This can also be where the camera comes in, it will have a big zoom function so you can get up really close to the little guys without having to act get near them. The aforementioned tardigrade Pokémon could help you interact with the environment if you’re unable to for whatever reason, such as a hot spring or a place too radioactive for most life or you’re in a small submersible in the ocean or That Is Actual Fucking Lava. You could also be supplied with a ditto to help you with further documentation, since while you can’t use the actual Pokémon, a ditto can help fill in the gaps pretty well if they’re just as able to withstand the environment as well as the Pokémon they’re copying.

The game won’t be focused in one specific region, but various areas around the world, both preexisting and new regions. I have a thought for a tiny, undiscovered Pokémon near the hot springs in hoenn, or something that only lives within stark mountain in the battle zone near sinnoh, perhaps even a Pokémon that somehow migrated there from firespit island from the hisui days, and you can’t tell me paldea’s area zero Doesn’t have some hyperadapted Pokémon in there, maybe in the water at the bottom, though I don’t think you’d be allowed there for a While(lategame area probably). Pokémon world Antarctica, Iceland, and Yellowstone are not safe from documentation. When exploring regions, only small parts will be available to you, such as the locations previously mentioned.

Now a lot of people probably wouldn’t like a game with almost entirely new Pokémon look at black and white’s initial reception and variants, almost none of which that you can even use not counting ditto copies, but since this would be a spinoff mostly used to help with world building, I’d say those people can Suck It Up and let us have our fun, pokemon doesn’t have to cater to you specifically all the time, you may like the battles, but some of us enjoy worldbuilding and speculative biology.

I don’t have any concept art at the moment as I started writing this down shortly before dinner, but I’ll reblog this post with some once I have enough.

[dark-kingdom-stan-account]

Just like any self-respecting Utena fan, I've latched onto a (semi) minor detail that I just can't find a satisfactory explanation for!

(MASSIVE RGU (series and movie) spoilers ahead!)

As someone who has engaged with RGU supplementary material plenty, it often goes out of its way to point out how Miki's eyes are "like crystals" and similar things. You can see it in the game and in the light novels.

The fan translation is accurate in this case.

So after staring at movie screenshots one too many times, I noticed that his eyes aren't blue there... they're green! And he's the only character whose eyes changed like this.

What does this mean? My first thought was to connect it with the characters who most prominently have green eyes in the series - Anthy, Akio and Dios. The characters who have the most power despite also being the most trapped in the system, with Anthy in particular having the power in the movie and being the only one of the three who is alive - if some theories are to be believed, she was the one who created the world the movie takes place in in the first place. However, she's also the person most trapped in it too.

However, their eyes are definitely not the same shade. More on that later.

An interesting part occurs in the movie during the Touga and Shiori scene - we cut to Miki and Kozue in the bath. It seems Miki has grown since the anime - he accepts that there's no going back to their childhood, and tells Kozue she's still precious to him. In response, Kozue threatens him with a razor and calls him a traitor.

And yet, the next time we see them, Kozue has become a car, and he smiles after she passes by, not sparing her a single glance. What happened? Did she become a sacrifice? She isn't seen individually afterwards unlike Shiori or Wakaba, she becomes just another car in the locust crowd. Perhaps more unsettling is the reason he gives to Juri for being a duelist - "I always wish to obtain more power". Juri responds to him by calling it manly.

That fucking smirk haunts me. Anyway.

Pursuit of power - doesn't this ring a bell? Perhaps like a certain student council president? Of course, in the movie, Touga is dead, so perhaps someone else took his place in the narrative... Miki. The unsettling implications of what happened to Kozue seem to add to this. Not quite as sinister as Touga's relationship with Nanami, and there's no reason to see it as similarly complex, but also I don't see what else it could be.

So even though Miki appears to be pursuing power at the cost of even his sister, potentially, he's unable to get there. His eyes are not the same shade as Anthy or Akio, not even close - they're much brighter. He appears to have shed some of his innocence - no longer wishing to go back to that garden - but he traded it to pursue more power. No wonder he isn't ready to leave Ohtori yet.

An English-speaking person may also be tempted to connect this to the common expression of "green-eyed envy", and yet I'm profoundly unsure if this is the case. He's never shown to be envious of the power possessed by anyone (unlike Touga, he can't look up to Akio, who is also very dead), even if he and Juri see the ghost of Dios inspecting the cars.

However, no matter how much he desires power, in the end, he's one of the people helping Utena and Anthy escape. He tells them how to go to the outside world. He promises the student council will join them eventually. Arguably the most good-natured interaction Anthy has with any of them.

His eyes appear to be showing how much he's changed since we saw him in the anime, and in some ways, perhaps not for the best. However, he's not fully trapped in the hell of Ohtori Academy yet - there is hope for him, even if he's strayed into such a dangerous path.

In the end, I think all of them deserve their revolution, even if the road getting there is bumpy.

...Or maybe they thought it would fit him more to have green eyes idk lol-

[guess-my-next-obsession]

A Warm Bed

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

rating: E (18+ only, mature descriptions of death/apocalyptic life, blurry infidelity, unprotected PIV, dirty talk, cum play i guess, unedited/proofread bc I REFUSE)

word count: 3.4k

joel masterlist

It was freezing out today in Boston but you didn’t notice, not with the flames that burned beside you as you hoisted dead child after dead child into the makeshift mass crematorium. Ash turned your hair grey, hiding away it’s natural color until you’d shower it off later on tonight, and even then it would never completely go away, just like the smell of burning flesh would never fully leave your nostrils.

This hadn’t been the life you imagined for yourself as a child before the outbreak. You always thought you’d go into something that helped people—teaching, nursing, maybe even social work—but life couldn’t have turned out more different. Joel, your work partner, assured you once after a particularly tough shift that in a way, you were helping people. You struggled to believe it.

“Take your break,” Joel approached you, swatting your hip lightly with the back of his gloved hand as you stood watching the little girl no older than five burn in the pit, unable to take your eyes off the destruction you had a hand in causing. “Hey,” he called firmer, finally pulling your eyes from the scene, “Go take a break.”

“Can’t,” you sighed, pointing behind him at the new truck of arrivals, Joel’s head shaking just enough for you to notice it before he brought his eyes back to yours. You spotted something deeply apologetic in them, Joel having graced you with a rare bit of empathy as he studied you. “Shifts almost over anyways. Let’s just hurry up and get this truck cleared so we can all go home.”

“You’re cryin’,” he pointed out, almost angry.

“It’s the wind,” you snapped back at him as the truck backed up towards the two of you. “Come on.”

You and Joel worked more efficiently than any other duo on cremation duty, Joel’s strength and ability to shut off his emotions at will pairing excellently with your speed and determination to get the job over with. He handled the adults, you the children—it was a system that you had down pat. Two hours and at least six more trucks later, the two of you were off.

Usually, you’d go one way and Joel would go the opposite, the two of you never really interacting with each other outside of work except when you had to. He had Tess for that, and you had…well, you had yourself.

But today, Joel stuck beside you, walking with you as you left the payout line after your shift. He said nothing as he joined you through town, his shoulder grazing yours every now and then as he moved over to let someone pass on the sidewalk.

“Gotta stop and get some bread,” you announced, pointing at the general store you were approaching. Joel nodded, his eyes flickering to you.

“Should stop and get somethin’ to eat myself.” You found his company to be both strange and comforting. Joel always made you feel safe, or at least as safe as someone living in a world this unpredictable and cruel could feel.

Walking inside, he followed you as you perused the aisles, your brain working as quickly as it could to work out the cheapest plan for dinner given the throbbing headache you were dealing with from the fumes and smoke.

“Pasta,” he suggested with a point of his finger, seemingly reading your mind. “Always my go to.”

“I do have some canned tomatoes.” You reached for the loose spaghetti noodles sitting in a plastic bin in the shelf and took a guess at how much you’d need to feed you, not wanting to spend more than you absolutely needed to.

“Why don’t you come over and we can share it,” he suggested, albeit shyly. You gave him a quirked eyebrow and he rolled his eyes. “I’ll split the bill.”

“So Tess eats for free?” You chuckled and shook your head. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Tess, you just resented her for having everything you ever wanted: someone to come home to, someone to make living in this dark world worth all the strife.

“Tess is out on a run,” he informed, his tone betraying him and exposing his loneliness. “Won’t be back for a few days.”

Did he want you to be his mistress? Though you admittedly were desperate for even a semblance of affection, you were no home-wrecker. Especially not Tess’s home.

“Joel, I hope you’re not—“

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just…” He shook his head and mumbled, “Forget it.”

Feeling overwhelmed by your own need for company and the pained look in his eye, you sighed, reaching one hand over to touch his shoulder.

“Sure. Let’s share.”

“Knock, knock,” you called as you pushed open the door to Joel’s apartment, having only been there once before to his flask that he’d left at work by mistake.

“Come in,” Joel’s indifferent rasp welcomed you.

“Brought some beers, too.” You gave him an unsure smile as you watched him buzz around his kitchen, a pot boiling the pasta from earlier while he tended to the sauce in another pan.

“Thank you,” he gave you a flicker of a smile as you set one of the beers on the counter beside him.

“Got a bottle opener?” You knew the answer to that was clear from the amount of beer bottles in his trash can, but didn’t want to snoop around for it without his consent.

“Yeah,” he left the stove and walked over to a drawer, pulling out the metal tool and handing it over to you so that you could open yours first.

“Ran into your brother on my way over,” you announced, watching as he scoffed and rolled his eyes. “He’s getting in deep with Marlene’s group, huh?”

“I told him to stay far away from all that,” he scolded you as though it was your doing. “Boy don’t listen for shit.”

“Just saw them hanging three Fireflies yesterday,” you lamented with a shake of your head. You weren’t sure if you bought into the group’s ideology, and you especially weren’t a fan of their methods for going about change, but you knew they didn’t deserve to be executed.

“Yeah, well, if you see Tommy up there, do me a favor and keep it to yourself.” Joel walked back to the stove and kept his eyes focused on the food, a silence falling over the two of you for a while.

“Thanks,” you finally spoke as Joel set your plate down in front of you at his tiny dining table before seating himself in front of you.

“You doin’ alright?” he asked in between bites, his eyes now seemingly unable to look anywhere else but directly into yours. You felt flushed at the attention he was showing you, but tried to pay it little mind.

“Yeah, I’m…fine,” you lied. “Just waiting for my own Tess to come along, I guess.”

“Tess and I aren’t Romeo and Juliet for fucks sake,” he lowered his eyes to his plate and spun his fork around to collect the pasta. “Just two people.”

“Yeah, but at least there’s someone,” you argued. “When I go home…it’s just me and my cold bed.”

“Believe it or not, but my bed gets cold too.” There was something in his voice tonight, something that hadn’t ever been there before, or at least not that you’d noticed. Your eyes locked and you felt something stir inside of you that both thrilled you and filled you with immense guilt.

Of course the one person in Boston you wanted to get into bed with was taken.

Not knowing what to say, you let out an airy chuckle and looked down at your nearly empty plate, missing the way Joel eyed you like a man on a mission.

“Look if you’re worried about Tess,” he started, sitting back in his chair and stretching his legs out underneath the table. “Don’t be.”

“Oh yeah? Would Tess say the same?” You lifted your eyes only to be punched in the gut by his rugged handsomeness. Working with him as long as you had had conditioned you to his above-average looks, seeing him dirty and covered in ash everyday made it easier to pretend he was just like every other man in town, but with him clean, sitting in front of you, having just cooked you a meal, and now nearly begging you to consider sharing a bed with him tonight? It wasn’t so easy.

“Tess and I ain’t—,” he started, pausing to let out a soft sigh. “We both have gone outside of this…before. Her more than me, but that’s ‘cause I’m not much for all that.”

“You and Tess are open?” you asked in amused disbelief, having never imagined the couple in their fifties, although neither of them looked too old by any means, spreading their love throughout the zone.

“I didn’t say that.” He tapped his fingers on the table. “Just said it happens.”

“Joel, I don’t want Tess at my door,” you sighed, finding it harder and harder to stick to your morals the longer he stared at you.

“She won’t,” he promised. “Besides, I ain’t asking for—look, I’m just offerin’ a warm bed. That’s all.”

“Just a warm bed?” You hated that that disappointed you.

“Just a warm bed.”

You knew the minute you curled up next to him that tonight wouldn’t simply be about staying warm together or keeping each other company. The ache between your thighs was incessant as you rested your head on his chest, his natural scent that might have been considered musky pre-outbreak sent you reeling. It had been years since you felt another person’s warmth this way, let alone a man. You found yourself moving closer and closer, tossing your leg over his and hugging your arm around his waist to soothe the building desire for more. Joel didn’t seem to mind.

“Here—“ He shifted onto his side, pulling you flush against his body. Your leg rested over his hip, his thigh planted firmly between yours as he gave you space to bury your face in his neck. “Better?”

“Joel—“ you exhaled shakily, not sure you even wanted to finish the thought. Joel pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, both of you staring at each other in silence for a few tense seconds before he started to lean in. His lips simply grazed yours, not even molding with yours yet, but he managed to pull a needy moan out of you.

“Sweet thing,” he cooed, kissing his way across your chin, his beard scratching at your skin and his lips pressing against your pulse. “How long has it been?”

“Years,” you confessed breathily, your eyes closed as you allowed yourself to enjoy the feeling of his lips against your skin, the heat of his palms as they ran up and down your side, the increase of pressure of his thigh against your core.

“That’s too damn long,” he husked in a mumble as he rolled you onto your back, his warmth never leaving you as he rolled right on top of you.

“You’re sure—“ Your words were interrupted by his hips pressing into yours, the barrier of your clothes doing little to prevent you from feeling him. “Fuck, you’re sure Tess won’t kill me for this?”

“I’m sure,” he soothed, pressing his lips to yours finally, one arm holding him up while his other hand slid up your side, dragging your sweater up with it. “This somethin’ you want?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, lacing your fingers in his salt and pepper waves. “I think it’s something I need.”

“I need you too,” he confessed, sitting back on his ankles so that he could look at you spread out beneath him. Even covered in your dingy, well-worn winter clothes, Joel devoured the sight of you unabashedly, his hands roaming from your sides down to your hips and to your thighs as they spread to give his hips room to fit. “Been imagining’ this for years now.”

“Yeah right,” you chuckled a scoff, rolling your eyes.

“Don’t matter if you think I’m lyin’,” he replied, his hands sliding the hem of your sweater up until he was lifting it over your head. “I know I’m tellin’ the truth.”

You wanted to believe that all these years Joel had harbored a desire for you, but the concept just seemed too unrealistic, too fantastical to be true.

“Look at you,” he praised, hands smoothing over the long-untouched skin of your stomach until he was cupping your breasts through your worn-out bra, his eyes exposing his reverence.

“You’re good at flattery,” you teased as you tried not to let yourself read too much into his praise. Just a warm bed. That’s all this was.

Joel said nothing. Instead, he lowered his lips to your sternum, kissing every inch of you he could reach as he slid your bra straps down your shoulders before reaching underneath your arched back to pop the hooks undone.

He looked like a crazed man as he took in the sight of your bare breasts, a subtle growl slipping from his lips as he leaned down to capture one of your nipples in his mouth, the feeling of his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud causing you to buck your hips up against his.

“Take these off,” he ordered, tugging on your belt loops as he pulled himself away from you to stand up off the bed and strip himself.

You struggled with your jeans as you tried not to miss a moment of watching him shed his layers, your hands shaking as they fought with the rigid denim at your ankles before finally freeing yourself. Joel nearly pounced on you as his eye caught a glimpse of the wet patch on your underwear, his hips fitting between your open thighs as he covered your naked body with his own, his cock prodding at your covered mound as he kissed you breathless.

Nothing about him was graceful, nothing about him was tender, but you didn’t want him any other way. You needed to feel his desire for you, to feel how animalistic your body turned him. His rough palms and scratchy beard burned your skin, and you found yourself hoping you’d feel him for weeks to come.

“Can I taste you?” he asked against your pulse as he littered your neck with tiny marks, society far past caring about scandalous things like that.

“Only if you want,” you answered, having never actually experienced a man going down on you before. Joel sat back on his ankles and gave you a wicked half-smirk, his calloused thumb stroking over your kiss-swollen bottom lip.

“Trust me,” he rasped. “Been thinkin’ about licking you clean since the moment I met you.”

“And yet you never thought to tell me,” you teased, your cheeks heating from his confession.

“You’re at least half my age, sweet thing,” he reasoned as he kissed down your stomach until he was laying between your open thighs. “Never thought you’d want an old man like me in your bed.”

“You need to get your eyes checked, Miller,” you brushed his hair out of his face as he slid your panties off. “You’re beautiful.”

“For an old man?”

“For any man.” Joel turned tender for a moment and met your eyes, his hands that were gripping your thighs now rubbing softly.

“You’re too good for this place,” he murmured as he leaned in, licking a broad strip up your cunt and flicking the tip of his tongue over your clit. Your back arched off the bed from the jolts of pleasure, your reaction earning you another smile.

“You asking me to—oh—to run away with you, Miller?” you asked between his sloppy laps at your cunt, his tongue feeling better than you could have ever dreamed it up to be.

“I ain’t that crazy,” he husked, voice thick with arousal before he dived back in.

Joel ate you out like a man starved, even though he’d just cooked you the best dinner you’d had in a while. You wanted to run your hands through his hair, to watch him as he shed a layer of himself for you, but you controlled yourself.

“Fuck,” he hummed as his tongue flicked at your swollen bud until your thighs were shaking around his face. “You gonna cum on my tongue, baby?”

Your eyes were squeezed shut but you pried them open to look down at him, nodding furiously. Joel grinned and sucked your clit, the tiny change in pace sending you over the cliffs of bliss without much warning.

“Shit,” you choked out, body shaking and spasming from the first orgasm you’d had in a long time. Joel kept licking at you, but he was soft, gentle, tender.

“You taste like heaven, you know that?” he rasped as he kissed his way up your body until he was sharing your taste with you with his tongue down your throat. You could only mewl and grab at him as he held himself up with one arm and used his other to guide his cock up and down your slick center. “Bet you feel like heaven, too. Can I?”

“Take whatever you need from me, Joel. I’m yours tonight,” you promised, still stuck in a post-climactic haze. Joel moaned as he stuck the tip of his cock inside of you, just enough for you to feel him. “Don’t tease—

“M’not teasin’, just don’t wanna hurt you.” Joel waited a beat before inching in a bit more, his brows screwing up in pleasure. “Also don’t wanna finish as fast as I think I am.”

“I don’t care,” you cooed, drunk on him being only halfway inside of you and still showing up every man you’d ever slept with. “You have all night to impress me.”

“I haven’t already?” he asked, tone hinting at playfulness but it went missed by you as the tip of his cock prodded at something blinding inside of you. “Fuck, that’s it, ain’t it?” He thrust against the spot proudly, a smirk growing on his otherwise wrecked face. “Flutterin’ against me every time I hit it.”

“Joel, fuck,” you whined, gripping him by the neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

He rested on his elbows, your thighs draped high over his waist as he rocked into you deep and purposefully until you were seeing stars.

“So tight,” he panted in your ear. “So warm. Fuck, you are heaven, ain’t ya?”

“Joel, your cock is so fucking—“ He stole every ounce of coherency from you as he sat back on his heels and pressed your thighs against your chest. With an open jaw and blurry vision, you cried out for him, his thrusts growing harder and more brutal with every plea for more that slipped from your lips.

“God damn—“

“Joel, I’m gonna—“

“Come on, baby. Let me have it.” Joel snarled from the exertion it was taking to fuck you into bliss, but he showed no signs of stopping, his firm hands gripping your thighs to keep them pressed to your chest.

“Oh my god,” you slurred as you entered euphoria for the second time, this time being washed over in it like a cleansing. A sinful, lustful, dirty cleansing.

“Yes!” he growled, grinning with pride. “So fuckin’ good for me. Gonna cum, too. That what you want baby?”

You nodded through your daze. “In my mouth.”

“Jesus—“ he choked on his approval and pulled out of you to crawl over to where your head rested on the pillow, his fist stroking his cock all the while. You opened your eyes, stuck your tongue out, and with a smile you pushed him over the edge. He moaned without care for his volume as his cum painted your tongue, face, and chest with every drop of what he had to offer.

“Mm,” you hummed as you cleaned some of the mess off your chest with your finger and sucked it off. Joel crumbled into the bed against you, his lips cheek against your shoulder while he recovered. “That was nice for just a warm bed.”

“Yeah,” he huffed out a chuckle. “I could…give you a warm bed another time…if you’d like.”

“Well, it is going to be a long winter. Might as well stay warm when I can.” You rolled your head to the side to watch him, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheek as he laid there with his eyes closed, half asleep. “Goodnight, Joel. And…thank you.”

No response came, his snores signaling he was already lost in dreamland. With a content sigh, you stood up and walked into his bathroom to clean yourself off and get dressed.

You didn’t stay in the warmth of his bed that night, or any night thereafter, but you did come back. Over and over again, you came back.

[w8lkers]

★ | freak

carl grimes x fem!reader

note : not my best writing, but i liked the concept :P does not follow the canon.

warnings : the insult “freak”

new outsiders were recently welcomed into the community of alexandria. a group of outsiders, consisting of seven people in total. to carl, one of them was more noticeable than the rest. it was a girl and she also appeared to be missing an eye. that’s what carl assumed anyways, why else would someone wear a bandana over half their face?

he was shocked that her first words to him were “what are you staring at, freak”.

hearing that question almost stunned him into silence. almost.

all he could possibly muster up was an awkward sounding, “um- what?”. by the heat on his face, he could tell that there was an embarrassing amount of red on his face. this was far from his best first impression.

carl avoided her from then on, realising she might’ve needed some space to adjust to alexandria. maybe he could’ve stared at her less… but he couldn’t help but feel a bit offended by their first encounter, it left a sour taste left in his mouth every time he thought about it. it was both a humiliating and upsetting experience for carl. he didn’t mean to stare at her, he just couldn’t help be a little curious. the only person carl ever saw without an eye was the governor, the reason he refused to wear anything other than a bandage over his eye.

as the other members of the group got more acquainted with alexandria, carl was able to learn more about her - not from her directly of course, but from the other members of her group. he learnt her name was y/n. it was a pretty name, he thought so at least. carl also learnt that she lost her mother recently. that information had him awake for a couple nights, unable to sleep at the recurring thoughts of his own mother’s death. carl understood that pain.

he was slowly understanding why she was so hostile to him. when carl lost his mom, it consumed him. every waking minute was spent hearing her screams on a torturous loop in his mind. that kind of loss makes a person angry at the world and hungry for revenge, sometimes people become blinded by it. he knows he’s had his fair share of moments that he wished he could forget.

there was still the question on how to approach y/n. despite her appalling first impression, he was still curious enough to want to talk to her and clearly observing her from afar was the wrong way to go about it. carl went through multiple different scenarios in his mind, all the different ways he could approach her. more sleepless nights burdened carl’s evenings as he spent them debating with himself over what to say.

one day, he became fed up with thinking about it. his lack of sleep was beginning to show through some passive aggressive comments that rick certainly did not appreciate.

carl marched up to y/n, who was sat on the porch of the house her group had been given. unfortunately, his confidence dissipated the moment he met her eye.

“um-.. i-“ he barely got anything out before y/n interrupted him. she blurted out a question, an uncomfortable expression across her face.

“how did you lose your eye?”

it took carl a few seconds to gather his composure. yet again, another interaction with her that has taken an unexpected turn. at least she didn’t call him a freak this time.

“i got shot.” he doesn’t know what else to say, but he purposefully leaves out anymore detail. it wouldn’t be a good look for alexandria if he said he was shot by an.. ex-resident. there’s an awkward pause and the two just staring at each other. carl can tell there’s something else she wants to ask, but he almost doesn’t want to ask in case she insults him again. he’s rather have some of his dignity intact at the end of their interaction.

it takes y/n an almost unbearable amount of silence to ask, “do you have any spare bandages?”

“um.. yeah, but you could go to the infirmary, we have supplies here- i can show you how to get there if you want?” he’s mostly confused by the question and seeing her wrap her arms around herself in an almost defensive manner furthered his confusion.

“nice try. i’m not leaving the house empty, so someone can come and snoop through our stuff.”

some people took longer to trust alexandria, he understood her current mindset. hell, he’d been there himself.

“look, no one here is after you. it’s not as bad as you think it is and the people here aren’t going to hurt you, if you just give this place more of a chance-“ interrupted yet again.

“i’ve heard this speech from almost everyone here, i don’t need to hear it again.” she was annoyed. this wasn’t going as well as carl wanted it to.

“sorry..” carl mumbles, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. he looks back at y/n and she’s still looking at him. it was slightly unnerving, carl had no idea what to expect from her. another insult, or maybe another personal question.

“i can go get you bandages and come back..?” his voice sounded slightly hesitant, though his offer was genuine.

y/n’s eye narrowed slightly in suspicion, yet carl was unphased by it. he expected her to be guarded, the people she arrived with certainly cautioned the people at alexandria about the attitude she developed.

“really?” she sounded unsure, as if she couldn’t tell if he was being serious.

“sure.. yeah.” he has a small, slightly weary smile on his face that looks more like a wince to y/n.

“okay.” y/n looks down at the ground, her voice becoming quieter as she speaks again, “thank you..”

“yep.” carl spins on his heel and walks away from her, quickening the pace of his walk in the direction of the infirmary. he lets out a deep sigh of relief, it wasn’t going as badly as it could, but he still felt slightly on edge.

“here.” carl tosses each item he retrieved from the infirmary to y/n and she catches them, placing them down in her lap.

“thanks.”

“you’re welcome.” carl smiles hesitantly at her.

“cool..” y/n mumbles, looking down at the roll of bandages, a roll of medical tape and a few plasters.

“have you ever put a bandage over.. your eye? i know i struggled the first few times i had to do it.” carl is reluctant to stop talking to her, strangely she was pleasant to be around when she wasn’t insulting him.

“no, i’ll figure it out though.”

“are you sure? i don’t mind helping you-“

“no.”

“i get it, okay? you don’t trust us yet, but we’re good people. i just want to help, whatever’s under there isn’t anything i haven’t seen before.” carl gains a little more confidence in himself and his words, he stands a bit straighter - he’s determined to prove her wrong about alexandria.

y/n spends a few seconds digesting his words. on the one hand, she could be mean and he’d leave her alone, but on the other hand, she knew she needed help. her mother was the one who tied the bandana over her eye once the wound she had healed. she never took it off after that, but the members of her group began lecturing her about ‘appearances’. the bandana was torn, dirty and even seemed to be charred at some parts.

“come inside.”

carl follows her inside the house. the group had clearly started to decorate their home a bit and carl takes note of the photographs on the wall. unfamiliar faces that he couldn’t recall seeing with the group and he knew why.

“so, how did you lose your eye?” carl asks, following y/n into a bathroom.

“i lost it in a fight with a hungry squirrel.” her voice was nonchalant and carl almost thought she was serious for a second.

he chuckles and stands by the bathroom counter, unravelling the bandages, “you’re funny. how’d you lose it?”

“the world is full of rotten people.”

“not alexandria though, there’s good people here.” carl glances over at y/n as she slowly unties the knot holding the bandana in place around her head. she pulls the fabric away from her face and she turns her head slightly to try shield her eye from carl’s vision.

“you really like it here, huh?” y/n almost sounds bitter about it. he could see why. carl was comfortable, he felt safe in alexandria, but y/n was most likely feeling the opposite.

“yeah, it’s nice here..” carl lifts the bandages and wraps it around y/n’s head to measure the length he would need. using a small pair of scissors he cuts the bandage into a strip long enough to wrap around her head, “i like it at least, it takes some time to get used to though.”

“i got stabbed.. that’s how i lost it.” y/n speaks quietly, looking up at carl once she knew she couldn’t avoid it. he needed to put a plaster over eye, he was going to see it, so she might as well tell the truth.

“people don’t think about it as much as you’d think,” carl speaks as he puts a plaster over her eye, he had seen the damage, “my dad tells me the same thing, but it’s hard to believe someone when their eyes keep going from your eye to.. not your eye.”

y/n laughs. it was more of a chuckle, but it still brought a smile to carl’s face. he didn’t comment about it, but instead revelled in the moment for a few seconds. he worked in silence as he helped y/n secure the bandage over her missing eye. he didn’t mind the silence much, at least now that he knew she didn’t hate him.

“i’m sorry i called you a freak.”

carl smiles at her apology. he didn’t expect her to apologise, but he clearly underestimated her, “it’s water under the bridge.”

he was nice, y/n knew that. it almost felt too nice after the experiences she had with strangers before arriving at alexandria.

“there’s still good people left. i know everything inside you is probably telling you not to trust this place, but it’s safe here.” carl pauses for a few minutes, trying to find the right words to say, “a few people might say some wrong thing, but it’s not on purpose. sometimes.. they just don’t know better, but they mean well...”

“okay.”

“i’m carl by the way.”

“i’m y/n.”

“i know.” the words slip out of carl’s mouth before he can stop himself. the last thing he wanted to do was come across as a creep, “sorry- i just overheard janine talking about you.”

“cool.. thanks for the help.”

carl now has a genuine smile on his face, it didn’t look uncomfortable and forced this time. he nods at her and tidies up the the supplies he used, putting them into the cupboard.

“you know.. there’s gonna be a party.. thing? it’s at the end of the week, but alexandria throws them every time there’s new people..” carl pauses and then continues talking, “it’s not really a party, but the last time they had one here was when me and my group arrived. you should go.”

“i’ll think about it.”

she very obviously didn’t trust him yet, but it seemed like she was trying. her behaviour may come across as abrasive and cold, but it was nothing carl hadn’t seen before. eventually she would have to warm up to him, right?

“cool.”

[thelov3lybookworm]

Undercover (Part 3)

Part 1 Part 2

Summary: What is going on?

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: i kinda got a boost while writing this lol 🤭

anyways, enjoy!

Y/n kept her eyes focused on the civilians that were making their way back to the buildings they stayed in, hoping they would just fucking hurry up and stop walking like snails.

As the final person stepped through and let the rickety door close behind them, Y/n released a breath, ignoring the sweat that dripped down her neck just like she ignored the parasite that stood less than a feet away from her, his eyes fixed on the exact place hers were glued to.

"They're gone-"

"I can see that-"

"We need to hurry. Move."

He shot her a look, gesturing with his hands as he took a step forward, and then another, and Y/n had half the mind to just ignore his words and settle down, because why would he tell her to do exactly what she was about to do?

Did he really think she would follow his orders just because Castle would bow down to his every wish?

When she didn't move at the speed of light at his oh-so-very-polite request, he turned to glare at her.

"Why must you be so difficult all the damn time?"

She lifted her chin, then stalked forward, ignoring him and skirting around his figure, despite the urge to shove her shoulders into his.

He released a frustrated sigh behind her, muttering something under his breath, which, unfortunately, Y/n was unable to hear.

Bastard.

Clenching her jaw, Y/n continued forward, deciding it best to ignore his insignificant self for the time being until it was necessary for them to interact.

Soon- sooner than Y/n would have liked- they arrived at the building where all the officials from Sector 45 lived and controlled everything from.

Y/n could not stop staring at the plush interior, so richly decorated, so much more colourful and different from the outside world. All Y/n could think about as a soldier led them through the place was about how stark the differences were.

About how much more hopeful the outside world would be if they only even got just a fraction of the luxury the officials lived in.

Her awe and shock had slowly morphed into resentment and ire, imagining what could have been if only her family had been living in better conditions.

Imagining a life without Castle and his unnecessary favouritism.

A life without anyone's pity.

"Y/n?"

Y/n blinked, turning her head to find Kenji staring at her with furrowed brows. "Yes?"

"Can you stop living in your dreamland and focus for once?"

Y/n stared at him, unamused as she waited for her mask to fall into place, slowly building back the wall she usually hid her memories behind.

The moment he looked away, she let herself glance around, taking in the new surroundings once again, cataloguing the closed door in front of her, the absence of the female guard who the two of them had been following till now.

She would've asked Kenji what was going on, but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of lecturing her on why she was not suited for any missions again.

So she waited, anticipation crawling in her gut like a pest before the door in front of her opened, and out walked the lady who had been escorting them. "Go on in, he's waiting for you."

Who?

Kenji nodded, then stepped inside, leaving Y/n standing awkwardly by herself. Was she supposed to follow him?

The lady gave her a funny look, then moved aside. "Are you not ging in?"

Y/n blinked, a rush of blood making her face feel so much warmer as she ducked her head, hurrying to follow Kenji.

Why did he not tell her the whole plan beforehand?

Asshole.

As soon as the door fell closed behind her, her eyes met Kenji's glaring ones, and she let herself glare back at him until someone cleared their throat.

"Trouble in paradise?"

Y/n's eyes flew to the man that stood next to the desk in the center of the room, his eyebrows raised. Y/n was about to deny the allegations, but before she could, the sound of Kenji's she giggle froze her.

"So, you are... what, lovers?"

Y/n turned to look at Kenji, who rubbed the back of his head.

"Yes, sir."

Y/n had to stop herself from laughing, wondering if this was some sick joke, but one look from Kenji had her straightening, looking away.

What the fuck.

The lady guard- Belle- escorted Y/n and Kenji to the guards quarters.

Acting like new conscripts wasn't hard, and the old man had not questioned the two of them much about their reason for conscripting. Despite what Y/n initially thought, he was just the right hand man of the man who ran the place.

Warner, or whatever his name was, was apparently busy, and so he had his right hand man do the procedures necessary for the joining.

It was a pretty quick ordeal, and the man seemed uninterested the whole time, though Y/n hadn't been worried about that part.

The only thing she could think about was why Kenji would pretend T/n and him were lovers.

She hadn't gotten much time to talk to him, but now that Y/n and Kenji were left alone to make their way to the different barracks, Y/n grabbed his arm, her blood boiling.

"Lovers? Lovers?"

"Oh get over yourself. It was necessary."

"If it was necessary, why was I not informed?"

He pulled his arm from her hold, his eyes blazing. "If you had paid attention to any of the words Castle spoke instead of sulking, you would've known."

"So its my fault-"

"Yes, yes it fucking is."

Y/n stilled, staring at him. In all the time she'd known him, he had never gotten this riled up, even when they fought.

He shoved a hand through his hair, turning and stalking off toward the male barracks, leaving Y/n wondering.

What just happened?

Shatter Me Taglist: @harrystylesfan2686 @dahliawarner

Kenji Kishimoto Taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter

[sshewonders]

WARM BODIES

Chapter 01: Stranger, Danger

chapter synopsis: You're stuck in a really long traffic jam with lots of noise and darkness. The car is your temporary safe spot where you're dealing with recent bad stuff, especially the news that your brother, Rick, might not be alive. As you talk to strangers and learn tough things, everything gets worse, and the city suddenly explodes, leaving you alone in a completely different world.

chapter warnings: violence and chaos, graphic descriptions, loss and grief, isolation and social anxiety, misunderstandings and awkward interactions, bombings, shane walsh.

word count: 2.1k words

author's note: Here's the first chapter. Although it's already published on Wattpad, it took me an hour to make all the changes for this version. On Wattpad, it's written in the third person, but for Tumblr, I changed it to the second person, which was a bit challenging. Anyway, Happy New Year!

MASTERLIST

NEXT CHAPTER >>

Stuck in what felt like an endless traffic jam, the encroaching darkness only seemed to magnify the chaos swirling outside their car's windows. It was a disheartening sight - people arguing, yelling, crying, and a haphazard assembly of folks grabbing quick bites to eat. The claustrophobic environment was nothing short of uncomfortable for you. Large crowds had never been your cup of tea, and trust was a rare commodity reserved solely for your closest kin - her nephew Carl, your sister-in-law Lori, your brother's friend Shane, and, of course, your brother Rick, whom Shane had grimly suggested might no longer be counted among the living.

As you sat in the backseat, the vehicle a temporary refuge from the pandemonium outside, Lori, Shane, and your young nephew Carl engaged with the world beyond. Young Carl was engrossed in a board game with another child, a girl named Sophia, whose name you caught in passing. Nearby, Lori chatted with Sophia's mother, a friendly woman with cropped grey hair. You, however, were an island within the car, your apprehension keeping you from engaging with those around you. Vivid and horrifying images from a few hours earlier still loomed large in your mind -- your neighbors, once familiar faces, had been ruthlessly torn apart by the ravenous undead, and the sight of a mother attacking her own child had left an indelible mark.

The traumatic experiences had taken a heavy toll, and when Shane somberly shared the news that Rick had not survived the chaos at the overrun hospital, you found yourself unable to contain your grief. Your tears flowed unchecked.

Seated in the car, the window slightly ajar to allow a breath of fresh air, you remained silent, clutching your small sketchbook as though it were a lifeline in this turmoil. Your stomach occasionally grumbled with hunger, but you paid it little heed, knowing full well that everyone in their dire circumstances faced the same pangs of hunger.

Shane peered at you with a quiet empathy, recognizing the weight of your distress. He gently suggested, "You know, it might do ya some good to step outside for a bit. Get some fresh air. Clear your head." He gestured towards the open car window, where a faint breeze teased the edges of your sketchbook. "You don't gotta stay cooped up in here. Take a moment for yourself if ya need it, now."

You simply shook your head, your eyes remaining fixed on your sketchbook. You had never really taken to Shane. Sometimes, he just gave you the creeps, particularly when he got a little too close to Lori. It was an uneasy feeling you couldn't quite shake.

Lori appeared behind Shane, crouching down to peer through the car's window. Lori's voice was filled with genuine concern as she leaned closer to you. "Hey, it's sweltering in here. Would you mind stepping outside for a bit? Keep an eye on Carl, okay? Shane and I are going to see if there's another way out of this mess." Her motherly smile remained, reassuring you as she spoke.

You nodded in agreement and stepped out of the car. You noticed the subtle frown on Shane's face, likely interpreting your actions as an example of your stubbornness, a trait you had displayed on numerous occasions.

After Shane and Lori departed, you hesitantly made your way toward where Carl and the young girl named Sophia were engrossed in their board game. Carl glanced up, offering you a tired but affectionate smile before returning to his match with Sophia, who greeted you with a shy smile. You placed a comforting hand on Carl's shoulder and observed their chessboard, which seemed to suggest that Sophia would emerge as the victor. In your peripheral vision, you noticed the middle-aged woman with short grey hair, Sophia's mother, slowly making her way over. Your inner plea for a conversation to be avoided echoed loudly in your mind.

Please, not another conversation with a stranger.

Oh, God.

Standing beside you, Sophia's mother introduced herself with a shy smile as Carol. Her eyes held a hint of curiosity as she extended her hand in a gesture of friendship. "Hi, I'm Carol," she said, her voice tinged with sincerity.

Carol's friendly gesture met an unexpectedly muted response from you, who refrained from extending a hand for a handshake. The slight pause hung in the air, and after it became clear that you had no intention of reciprocating the handshake, Carol gently withdrew her hand, a hint of awkwardness coloring the moment.

You, who had been grappling with the weight of recent events and the horrors you had witnessed, couldn't help but feel a touch awkward in this interaction. Your response was somewhat halting, and your eyes briefly met Carol's before looking away.

"Y/N Grimes," you said, the words escaping your lips softly, as if you weren't entirely sure how to navigate this unexpected social encounter.

Clearing her throat to break the somewhat awkward silence, Carol ventured a question. "Are you Carl's older sister?" she inquired, her tone kind and inquisitive. "And do you know where your mom went with Shane?"

You, finding yourself caught in an unfamiliar social exchange, responded with a touch of awkwardness. "Lori isn't my mother," you began, your words hesitant. "She's my sister-in-law, and Carl is my nephew."

Realizing her assumption had been off the mark, Carol's expression softened with understanding. "I'm sorry," she said gently, a note of apology in her voice. "You just seemed... well, you look so young, I thought maybe you were Carl's older sister and Lori was your mother. I didn't mean to presume."

Your usual shyness accentuated by the circumstances, managed a small, reassuring smile. "It's okay," you responded softly. "A lot of people have thought the same thing about me." Your awkwardness seemed to soften with a hint of understanding, as if you were accustomed to these types of misunderstandings. Which, in fact, you were.

Suddenly, your ears perked up when you heard the sound of helicopters. You swiftly told Carl to stay where he was, within sight of Carol, and then asked Carol, "Hey, could you watch over Carl for a minute?"

Carl shook his head at you, "No. I wanna go with you!"

You considered for a moment before shaking your head. "No, Carl, it's safer here. Just stay put for a minute." You then looked at Carol, "Carol?"

Carol agreed, her eyes scanning the surroundings as she replied, "Of course, I'll keep an eye on him."

You nodded in appreciation, then ventured into the woods where you could see the darkened city of Atlanta. As you gazed at the skyline, you couldn't help but notice that some of the taller buildings were illuminated with eerie, flickering lights. You couldn't shake the grim realization that those buildings, bathed in light, had likely been overrun, and the city now belonged to the dead, the undead monsters.

Then, the helicopters returned, and to your shock, they dropped a devastating payload. A series of deafening explosions sent shockwaves through the air, as fire and smoke erupted in an apocalyptic display of red and orange, transforming the once-familiar city into a nightmarish inferno. The horrifying scene left you, in yoursolitude, in stunned silence, your world forever altered by the devastation unfolding before you.

As the helicopters dropped bombs on the city of Atlanta, the earth-shattering explosions and fiery chaos unfolding in the distance, you stood alone in the woods, your heart heavy with a sorrow that had been lingering for far too long. The reality you had been reluctant to accept came crashing down upon you. Tears welled up in your eyes, and the weight of grief overwhelmed you as you finally acknowledged what you had been trying to deny.

Your brother, Rick, whom you hadn't seen die with your own eyes, whose absence had filled you with hope that he might still be out there somewhere, was now gone. The hospital overrun by the undead, as Shane had told them, had sealed Rick's fate, and the detonation of those bombs had obliterated any last vestiges of that hope. Rick was dead, and the tears that streamed down on your face were a painful, final acknowledgment of that irrevocable loss.

As you stood there in the woods, tears streaming down your face, your thoughts inevitably turned to your brother, Rick. Your memories painted vivid scenes of your last moments together, the disagreements fueled by your stubbornness that still lingered in your mind. But it was the distant past, back when your parents had passed away, that truly weighed on you.

Rick had immediately assumed the role of a parent for you, becoming not just a brother, but a father figure and your closest friend. The nurturing, protective instincts he had exhibited since both of your parents' death were etched into your memory. Rick had been your steadfast anchor, your guiding light in a world that had grown increasingly dark.

And now, in the aftermath of the bombings in Atlanta, you were forced to confront the crushing reality that he was gone. The grief was unbearable, for you knew that your brother, your father figure, your best friend was no more, lost forever in the turmoil of the world's collapse.

[frozenjokes]

i continued being unable to sleep so i continued shoving as much of your writing into my brain as possible, by which i mean i just read alllll of the mumbomaid au pretty much at once and am being Normal about it

i love them all, i love all of them so much, i'm very invested in their shenanigans, i love how almost nobody understands gender and they all misunderstand it differently

i am ALSO aro in the "no i don't have feelings for anybody, yes i would date basically any of my friends" way and everything surrounding scar's aromanticism is so well done, i kept being soo exasperated with grian and the like. the incredibly allo misunderstanding of aromanticism, and not listening when scar and cleo try to tell him he doesn't get it, i have friends i've had almost those exact conversations with (but slightly less messy because of varyious factors including but not limited to Not Being Desert Duo, Thank Fuck) just ajfhdjdhjshdjfsk

also also i love textbook monsterfucker scar and i'm convinced bdubs thinks etho grew up in a cult or some shit (i'm throwing words at this ask box like spaghetti)

anyway uh. i'm probably gonna keep wanting to say words about your fics as i keep reading them and the ao3 comment section scares me so. i will probably be back, feel free to tell me to buzz off if this is not a preferred communication method

-guy that said mapleshade=p!scar (maplescar? scarpleshade? there's gotta be something here, did i mention the sleep deprivation sorry if this is all insane rambling lmao)

maplescar is a really cool tortie kitty name I like that a lot. maplescar would go crazy. ALSO PLEASE KEEP SAYING WORDS!!!!! say words FORWVER!!!! spam my ao3 comments and I will respond to them 9/10 ten times!!!!!!! I love talking I love when people talk to me THANK YOU!!!!!! you could send me an ask every single time you finish a chapter and I would kiss you on the lips each time but my followers might be killing you with hammers so. Pick your poison.

yeah my favorite part of mumbomaid is that no one knows what a gender is and they misunderstand in all different ways you put it 100% perfectly. I also find Grian to be frustrating but he’s also a vessel to explore More Feelings and in his defense a little outside of complicated aro/allo interactions scar is a bit of an asshole. They are both assholes. Two guys they Will have their cake and they Will eat it too and they are exploding because of it. I too thank god every day I am not desert duo I! hate them. Generally though I do not feel bitter about allo misunderstandings of aromanticism because I spent 21 years of my life also not understanding. Which. Is the fault of a normative society. However. It is deeply difficult to understand the internal experience of someone who functions differently than you on a chemical level. This is a bit of a tangent but my mom and I’s ability to communicate has been drastically improved by the acceptance that I am autistic. She sees me and we reflect on my life together and it makes Sense that the way I experience the world is Different so whenever we talk about something my mom doesn’t understand in relation to me her mind is so open because she knows my perception of the world is not the same as hers. neurodivergence isn’t entirely related to queerness but it has genuinely opened up so many doors for our communication. she goes aromantic? oh yeah that makes sense. I think she catalogs it with the autism which is correct because to me autism and Every Other Way I Experience The World is related. This is say I have a very amusing experience with one of my trans friends where he was like: …so you’ve never questioned your gender,,, like…. Ever..? and I said nope. and he like couldn’t believe me. He did obviously but it’s the idea that our experiences are so integral to the people we are that it’s extremely difficult to imagine it any other way. can you tell I’m a psych major yet. what was I talking about.

I haven’t thought of exactly what bdubs thinks about etho’s past but it’s probably something like that. Deep down, it doesn’t really matter. Bdubs just wants to protect him. He’s so worried, but he just wants etho to feel safe.

lightly suggestive under the cut bc I talk about the monster fucking a little bit and I don’t know your age/if my elaboration is unwarranted I’m just talking. I’m here for a silly time not a sexy one.

monsterfucker scar is dear to me. extremely important. Grian will never be able to do to him the, frankly, deranged things he fantasizes about. they can try but the mood is going to be ruined when scar is like :( your tentacle dick isn’t real. and Grian is going to sigh with his dumbfuck strap and the blue curtains and lights they hung up to make it look like they were underwater. Their entire experience in the bedroom is going to be a series of extremely comedic extremely unfortunate events to make up for the fact that scar is never getting any fish pussy 😔 scar will be put off the mood because Grian just isn’t Convicning enough like COME ON if I don’t believe I’m going to die THEN what’s THE POINT??????? their home life is just increasingly deranged. grian has accepted that he will never be able to compete with the horrors of the ocean and you may think that’s a ‘but he’s still a little jealous though..’ but he’s not. He’s accepted it. Full acceptance. The kind of worn down you get from fishing for a mending book for weeks on end but without the agony and more just. Amused. goodtimeswithscar is going to die young and by drowning but you’d better believe he’ll do it in ecstasy.

[arc852]

1. Mirth

Definition: fun and enjoyment as shown by laughter

Summary: Tango invites Jimmy on for Hermitcraft's family and friends day to show off his projects and spend time with his Double Life soulmate.

G/t: Tango is his normal size, Jimmy is only a few inches tall

Word Count: 2771

AO3 Link

Welcome to the first day of the G/t July prompts! Like I said before, I'm super excited to be sharing these fics with you guys!

Now, something about this fic, I really liked the beginning but started losing interest in the middle of it, then ended up liking it again near the end. So, basically, I think this fic has a strong beginning and end but just an okay middle. But I am still proud of this one and overall, I think this is a good one to kick things off with! So I hope you guys enjoy!

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 Tango was up and ready in the early hours of the morning. He had barely gotten enough sleep beforehand though, too excited by what today meant. Today was one of the very few days non-members were allowed onto Hermitcraft. So any family, friends, or significant others were welcome and whitelisted for today only.

 Tango never really gave these days much thought before. He didn’t really have any family outside of Hermitcraft. So he never had anyone to meet him on days like today.

 But ever since Double Life, a certain tiny avian had met up with him on every possible day he could. Tango grinned just thinking about his soulmate, already planning on all the stuff they were going to do today. Of course, a tour will have to be first. This was the first family and friends day on season 10. He had so much to show him, he couldn’t wait.

 In fact, unable to sit around any longer, Tango put on his elytra and flew over to the world spawn, where everyone would be popping in when it was time. He landed, only to notice he wasn’t the first one there.

 “Oh, hey Joel!” Tango greeted one of the newest members of their little family. He unequipped his wings and walked over to where Joel was standing.

 Joel looked back at him and smiled. “Hey Tango!” He waved back, he looked just as excited as Tango felt. Maybe even more so. It only took Tango a moment to remember why Joel would be waiting here.

 “Waiting for Lizzie?” Tango asked, crossing his arms as he decided to wait next to Joel. Joel nodded, the smile not leaving his face.

 “Yep! I’ve seen her off and on, ya know, since I was doing SOS for a little while but…it’s different here on Hermitcraft. This’ll be her first time here on season 10 and I can’t wait to show her how far I’ve come already.” Joel explained, his eyes shining bright and determined. Tango couldn’t help but smile too.

 Joel had quickly proven, to all of them, that he was a hermit through and through. Not that he had anything to prove, of course. But the more time he spent on the server, the more he built, the more he interacted with everyone, it was obvious Joel had been meant to be here all along. And Tango couldn’t help but find himself excited for Joel to show that to Lizzie.

 “I’m sure she’s going to love everything you’ve done here.” Tango said and Joel smiled at him in thanks. “I’m actually feeling sort of the same way. I’m planning on this big tour to start off the day, even before we get to anything else.” Tango admitted with a hand rubbing the back of his neck.

 Joel tilted his head, his smile turning into a look of confusion. “By the way, who is it that you’re waiting for anyway?” Joel asked.

 It was Tango’s turn to be confused. “You don’t know?” 

 Joel raised an eyebrow. “This is my first season. Of course I don’t know.”

 Tango shook his head. “Sorry, sorry, I just thought it was obvious? I’m waiting for Jimmy.”

 Joel blinked, processing the name. And then his eyes went wide. “Wait, Jimmy?” He didn’t need to clarify which Jimmy. There was only one that the two of them knew. “But, why-oh. Double Life.” Joel answered his own question, remembering the season that had changed the way some people would see another forever. Like with him and Etho, for example.

 Tango nodded. “Yep. Double Life. I know the whole soulmate mechanic is long gone but…I don't know. I still feel this connection to him. And he feels the same. And…well, we get along really well. Jimmy has become one of my best friends too.” Tango admitted, a bit sheepishly. It was strange to think that without being paired up in Double Life, Tango and Jimmy might still be acquaintances at the most. Because at this point, Tango couldn’t imagine his life without Jimmy in it.

 Joel’s expression softened and he patted Tango on the back. “Yeah, the guy grows on you, that’s for sure.” Joel said, as one of Jimmy’s other best friends. “It’s kind of cute how excited you are to show him around.”

 Tango flushed a light red, turning his head away. “Heh, I’m just…you know, excited like you are.”

 Joel grinned. “I can see that. I’m sure Jimmy will love what you have to show him.” He said, repeating in a way what Tango had said to him earlier about Lizzie.

 “I hope so.” Tango was excited but still always a little nervous to show off what he’s done. But Jimmy had loved Decked Out 2 and, though not as impressive, he was sure Jimmy would love the factory he was working on as well.

 Suddenly, Xisuma touched down in front of them, a screen of code up in front of him as soon as he landed. “Ah, good! You two are here already.” He typed a few things. “It looks like you two are the only ones expecting a visitor today. All set?” Xisuma asked and with a nod from both Joel and Tango, Xisuma typed something else. “Here we go then.”

[LDShadowLady joined the game]

[SolidarityGaming joined the game]

 Tango watched as Lizzie and Jimmy finally popped in. Lizzie immediately ran over to Joel and they shared a quick hug and kiss. Though Tango was barely paying any attention to them, his focus was on the tiny avian hybrid. “Jimmy!”

 Jimmy looked up, a grin on his face. He fanned out his wings and took off, flying over and hovering in front of Tango. “Tango!”

 Tango held out his hand and Jimmy landed in it, folding his wings back in. The two couldn’t stop grinning at each other. 

 “Oh, get a room you two.” Joel said jokingly as he himself refused to let Lizzie go. Tango decided to throw it back.

 “You two first.” He said with a smirk. Lizzie laughed and Joel rolled his eyes. A small laugh came from his hand and suddenly Tango’s attention was back on Jimmy.

 “And we lost them again.” Joel said with a laugh and started gently tugging on Lizzie’s arm toward his base. “Come on Lizzie, I’ve got a lot to show you.”

 “Oh, I’m so excited!” Lizzie said with a large grin. They’re voices faded away, leaving Tango and Jimmy standing there alone. Xisuma had also taken off shortly before Joel and Lizzie had.

 “So, how have things been?” Tango asked as he started to walk back to his own base. He kept his hand held out in front of him, as Jimmy was still standing on top.

 “It’s been great! I was on SOS for a while, I think I told you about that?” Jimmy asked, trying to remember. Tango nodded.

 “Yeah, you did. And Joel talked about it a bit too. Heard you went out with a bang.” Tango grinned. Jimmy laughed sheepishly.

 “It was mostly Joel’s idea, honestly. But it was really cool. We took out ten people!” Jimmy exclaimed and Tango’s eyes widened.

 “Ten!? Dude, that’s amazing!” Tango praised and Jimmy’s feathers fluffed a bit at the praise. 

 “Heh, yeah. Of course, my series ended there. But I wouldn’t have had it any other way I don’t think.” Jimmy looked proud of himself and seemed to look back on his time on that server fondly, which Tango was happy about.

 “What about you?” Jimmy threw back. “How has season 10 been so far?”

 Tango hummed. “Amazing. Honestly, it’s been nice getting back into the swing of things.” Especially getting back into actually doing things other than working on Decked Out 2. Don’t get him wrong, he loved what he did, but it was nice to take a break from it. “I’ve actually been working on this factory, but we’ll get to that. I’ve got a whole tour planned for you!” Tango said with a grin and Jimmy couldn’t help but grin back.

 Finally, they arrived at his starter base. Jimmy’s eyes widened as he looked up at it and Tango noticed with a proud little smile of his own. “This here is my starter base.”

 “This is your starter base?!” Jimmy exclaimed and then flapped his wings and took off from Tango’s hand. Tango watched as he flew up and around it, getting a good look. “I seriously still can’t believe you said you weren’t a builder back in Double Life.” Jimmy said as he came back down, hovering in front of Tango again. After seeing Decked Out 2 and this, it was clear Tango’s building skills were very good.

 Tango waved off his praise. “I mean, I’m proud of it. But I’m still a redstoner at heart. There are still a ton of people out there better than I am at this kind of thing.”

 Jimmy crossed his arms, looking a bit annoyed at Tango’s belief. “Sure, you might not be the best. But you’re still really good! Don’t sell yourself short.” 

 Tango chuckled but was thankful for the praise. “Thanks. I’ll try not to.” 

 Jimmy nodded firmly and then went and settled down on Tango’s shoulder. The light but familiar weight was nice to Tango. “Now come on, I gotta see the inside!”

 Tango took him through the inside of his base, feeling proud when Jimmy only had nice things to say about it. He even ooh and aah’d which made Tango laugh. In fact, after not seeing each other for a while now, they were both very giggly with each other. Just happy to be together once again.

 Once Tango’s starter base tour was done, he moved on to his factory. “Now remember, I’m only really just getting started on it.” Tango prefaced and then showed him around.

 Jimmy was gobsmacked by the amount of redstone. “This is insane! You’re insane!” Tango just laughed at that, a little maniacally too, to add to the bit.

 “You never even saw the inner workings of Decked Out 2. Now that I would admit was a little insane.” Tango said.

 They continued on and after Tango finished showing him everything he had built, he went on to the rest of the server. Going from the shopping district, to magic mountain, to the neighborhood, and everywhere in between.

 By the time they had finished, the sun was just starting to set over the horizon.

 Tango looked up at the sky and let out a little sigh. “Welp, looks like we gotta start heading back to spawn.” He didn’t really want the day to end, knowing that meant Jimmy had to leave for another undisclosed amount of time. 

 Jimmy hummed, a little saddened by the thought as well. But then he got an idea and he stood up on Tango’s shoulder, keeping his balance by placing a hand on Tango’s neck. Tango frowned in confusion on what Jimmy was doing. “What are you-?”

 He was cut off. “I’ll race you back!” Jimmy suddenly exclaimed and then jumped off Tango’s shoulder and flew high up into the air and in the direction of spawn. Tango watched him go for a moment, trying to process what had just happened.

 “...H-Hey! No fair!” Tango laughed, jumping into action and panicking at the lead Jimmy already had. “I don’t even have my wings on!” Tango quickly equipped his elytra and used a rocket to take off toward Jimmy.

 For being so small, Jimmy sure was fast. Despite being a canary, he was more like a hummingbird in that regard. Zipping and zagging all over the place and sometimes hard to keep up with. Tango let a few more rockets go off in quick bursts and managed to catch up to the tiny avian. Tango hovered above Jimmy and Jimmy, noticing the shadow, looked up with a surprised expression.

 “Better pick up the pace tiny!” Tango yelled with a laugh over the rush of air and then let another rocket go off, sending him further than Jimmy.

 “Hey! No fair!” Jimmy repeated Tango’s words, also unable to keep from laughing. He flapped his wings even harder, pushing himself further to try and get ahead.

 Unfortunately, with Tango using so many rockets in such a short amount of time, Tango ran out and was steadily slowing down as he glided. Tango was hoping he would still have enough of a lead to win but then he saw a blur of yellow pass him by. Jimmy turned back with a grin. “See you at spawn!” He yelled and then took off even faster.

 Jimmy made it to spawn first, diving down and hovering above the ground. Joel, Lizzie, and Xisuma, who were already there and waiting for them, looked at Jimmy in surprise. “Yes! I won!” Jimmy exclaimed, a large grin on his face. 

 “Won what?” Lizzie asked, curious at how fast Jimmy had come in from the sky.

 “And where’s Tango?” Xisuma questioned, wondering where the other hermit was.

 Jimmy turned to the two of them. “Oh, Tango is-” He was cut off with a yelp as suddenly he was encompassed in two large hands that had come barreling toward him from above. Tango had used whatever momentum he had left and dive-bombed Jimmy, using his hands to trap the avian inside and also to protect him from the brunt of the collision. He didn’t want to actually hurt him after all.

 Tango skidded but managed to land on his feet with Jimmy safely cupped between his hands. “I’m here!” Tango answered, having at least heard the question. “Me and Jimmy here were just having a little race.”

 Tango opened his hands up so now Jimmy was sprawled over his cupped hands. The tiny avian gave him a deadpan expression but Tango could barely take it seriously with how frazzled Jimmy looked from the quick grab. Jimmy crossed his arms but couldn’t keep the small smile off his face, which told Tango everything was fine. 

 “I won though! Fair and square.” Jimmy said as he sat up and tried to fix his hair.

 Tango rolled his eyes and poked Jimmy on the chest. “Not sure about fair, pipsqueak.” Tango said. “Considering you had a good 30 second head start.”

 Jimmy huffed, pushing the finger away playfully. “Says the guy who used a stack of rockets all in a row.”

 They looked at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing.

 Joel, Lizzie, and Xisuma, who were still all watching, couldn’t help but smile at the sheer joy Jimmy and Tango seemed to be experiencing by just being with each other. It made Xisuma feel bad that he had to break that up, but he had to send them back to their own servers.

 Maybe, eventually, Jimmy and Lizzie could join them more permanently in a couple of seasons. He was sure Joel and Tango would stop at nothing to convince the others to let them join. And he can’t exactly see any of his hermits saying no either.

 He put away that thought for another time though, and cleared his throat to gain Tango and Jimmy’s attention. “Sorry to interrupt, but it’s time to send Lizzie and Jimmy back.” Xisuma said sadly.

 Tango and Jimmy let their laughter peter off and looked at each other at the reminder that it was time for Jimmy to leave. “I had a great time today.” Jimmy said, a smile on his face. He refused to be sad. They had been happy all day today and he refused to be sad for their last few moments.

 “So did I.” Tango said, his smile a bit softer as he gently cradled Jimmy in his hands. “Can’t wait to do it again soon.”

 Jimmy nodded and leaned into Tango’s touch for a moment, soaking it up, before standing and taking off to go stand over by Lizzie. Who had also said her last see you soons to Joel and was now standing away from him.

 “We’ll see you again soon. I’ll make sure to let you know when the next family and friends day is here on Hermitcraft.” Xisuma said as he opened up his code log.

 They nodded and then with one last wave, they were gone.

[LDShadowLady left the game]

[SolidarityGaming left the game]

 Tango was sad to see Jimmy go, but he couldn’t deny the amazing day the two of them had together. His comm dinged suddenly and Tango grabbed it from within his pocket and took a look at it.

SolidarityGaming whispers to you: Miss you already <3

 Tango grinned.

[screemnch]

The Pathologic Russian and English analysis: Clara Saburova the Changeling.

Time is a flat circle, similar to a frisbee, and the world is using it to wack me repeatedly on the head with it. So anyway, I finally got my shit together and made another addition to this madness project. This time including images of both English and Russian text. Let us begin

It’s a bit… difficult to pin down what kind of person Clara is in the English translation - partially because you don’t always know for sure which Clara you’re talking to, as well as the fact that she is, most of the time, an obstacle. She seems to shift between “mean child who’s acting like she hasn’t learned about empathy yet”, “kind earnest and trying her best”, and “ominously inhuman and deceiving”. This is, obviously, because of Clara’s main schtick - the fact that there’s two of them (and also because she knows a lot more than the two other healers). Most of the time, however, she comes across as someone with either good or dubious intentions. It’s like she’s trying to help (or acting like she’s trying to help), but things keep going horribly wrong. Since we’re not playing as her, we don’t get nearly as much insight into how frightened she is and how shaky and unstable her current situation is, so she is judged by both of the healers in a very harsh way. She seems a bit verbose for a kid/teenager, however that is nothing out of the ordinary in the town on Gorkhon. Her lines, a lot of the time are either indirect or very direct jabs, so there is an impression that she thinks she is smarter than the other two and is quite fed up with them. It’s difficult to say much else about it without getting into specifics, so here we go.

As the bachelor: Clara only gets interactions on days 3, 6, 11, and 12. You might think that that would make it difficult to write about her, but wow did they put so much stuff in the very few conversations she gets to have with Daniil. There is a level of consistency between how she speaks in English and Russian here, though she seems a bit more earnest in this campaign. Like she’s trying to help, but she also thinks that Dankovsky is unable to receive the help she’s trying to give. Or unwilling. Mainly, however, in Russian there is a very weird quality to her way of speaking that I’m not quite sure carries over well to English. See, (and this is where it gets the tiniest bit anecdotal) I’ve had my fair share of hearing religious talk in Russian (but not in English, which is why I’m not sure if this is even a valid point) - I’ve been to orthodox churches, and in general Christianity is very largely propagated in the part of Russia I grew up in. So I, like presumably many others, am familiar with the very distinct way that religious figures speak. It sounds ancient, but not the same “fairy tale” ancient that I talked about before. Instead of changing the sentence structure, they utilise more biblical words in places where any other person would use regular modern words. Best way I can explain it is how someone might say “t’is” instead of “it is” but like… Religious? “For” instead of “because.” And that is the tone that Clara takes on sometimes. It meshes really well with her “divine messenger” persona, even though she still acts like a child every now and then. It’s a very unique combination that gives her way of speaking a distinct sound that exists outside of time. Overall, however, the translation was pretty close to the original Russian version, so let’s look at where these two diverge.

What’s a little weird to me here is that umm… This is the conversation Daniil has with Clara on day 3 about the Taglur and when I read this in English I was a little confused, because it sounds like the Bachelor is asking a question about Clara’s plans for making a new world or whatevsies, but… This dialogue option is one of those that immediately ends the conversation, which didn’t make sense to me at all. In Russian it’s a bit more akin to “And who’s bright idea was it to place this miracle here?” (or literally “to whose head did the idea to place this miracle here come?” A bit more confusing, but yeah) See, the word here for “miracle” is “чудо” (pronounced smth like “choodo”), which can mean miracle or wonder, but can also be a shorthand for “чудище” or “чудовище” which is a word used to describe monsters. You know. Wonder-creatures. In this context, the word “чудо” when aimed towards a person (Clara) is meant to signify someone either ugly, eccentric or nonsensical. So to sum up, the best way to understand this line is “Who’s bright idea was it to bring this weirdo here?” in which case… Yeah, I can definitely see why that would end the dialogue.

Here’s a fun little thing: I’ve mentioned before how the Haruspex defines Clara in very vague terms. Here, when the Changeling (the real one, guys, trust me) is asking the Bachelor to deal with the Changeling pretending to be her(yeah, go figure), in English she calls her a “loathsome creature”. However, in Russian she calls her (according to Google translate) an “abomination”, “filth” or (in my own translation) “grossness”, which - you guessed it - is indeed a very vague term. Regardless of who you think is talking to the Bachelor at the moment, it’s still very interesting to see, for various reasons. She also does this later in the dialogue (and the English translation ignores it again)

More out of the same dialogue tree where the Bachelor is trying to get Clara’s blood. I’ve made a point in the analysis of the Bachelor from the Changeling’s perspective, where he calls her “darling”  where the original was something like “sweet/dear creature” and almost had a sombre mood to it. In this one, however, it is the complete opposite. Not only does the word he uses here actually translate the best to “darling” (or dove), but it also has the same kind of ironic connotation to it as I mentioned. In this particular scenario he almost sounds… Thuggish? The words he uses, as well as the use of the “-ка” sounds similar to the snarky, confrontational way that thugs and bandits speak in cartoons. Something like “c’mere, dear” that makes it clear you’re about to get beaten up.

Two things here: firstly, in this dialogue line Clara refers to Daniil using the informal version of “you”, while the lines said by the Changeling whose blood he doesn’t get uses the formal version. In the interaction on day 3 Clara doesn’t address him directly at all, but I think in other dialogues she also addresses him informally (It isn’t surprising to see Clara address Daniil of all people informally, because not only does she see herself as, at least in part, a tool of divine whatevertheheck, she also rightfully believes that he is an idiot. She does not need to be polite to the stupidest man this side of the Gorkhon (I say this lovingly, of course).

Secondly though, I’d like to point out the way Daniil talks to her in here, because when I did my analysis of his lines I talked about how the English translation dials down the intensity of the stuff he says. This here is a prime example, as the Russian version is not only more curt, but also uses a much more cutting insult. Of course, people are well aware of the Russian language’s rich curse word vocabulary, but it also has the wonderful capability of making non-curse words sound like the most humiliating thing ever. I think maybe it’s the way Russian combines rolled “r”s and multiple consonants (which is less prominent in English) that allows its words to have that added weight to it. Here he calls her essentially “trash”, specifically - something that’s been so torn up and worn out that it's become useless. The way the word rolls off the tongue when you say it out loud is almost like a spit in the face, and it’s not softened by calling her “little” or anything. He calls her trash. How dare.

I’m bringing this up because it has me genuinely confused? The English version makes sense, or so I thought until I read the Russian version? Because the Russian version kinda states the opposite. It says “You can’t come up with a better knife for this than a conversation - of course, only if you’re in a hurry.” Which is very different from “unless you’re in a hurry” because those meanings are like… The opposite? The English implying that a conversation is a good way to see what’s going on in her soul, but the Russian one alluding to the fact that it’s only good if you’re in a hurry? Or is she agreeing to give her blood because they don’t have time for a conversation? I don’t know. I’m confused. Help.

I think the metanarratives of pathologic are very cool, so when I read this line in English I got really excited, because I thought it might be implying that Clara is aware of the fact that the player may have died a few times during the bachelor route alone (similar to how she calls the other healers her past or future). Then I realised that it simply could’ve meant “dying” as in being close to death. Then I got excited again, because I thought the Russian version might elucidate the issue for me. And… I think I was right? I think she implies here that Daniil has died several times, although it was probably just left vague for this specific purpose. Either way, the fact that it can be read this way and was probably worded like this just to confuse the players (and reward those who may have been on the lookout for it) is really cool to me. Also in response to that (where in English Daniil says Clara has “a shrewd eye for human condition”) he calls her a psychologist, and then brushes her off as trying to charm him, which means we don’t get to gauge the meaning of what she was saying through his response either.

This one has a couple of fun differences. Firstly, instead of referring to the town in its “true form” Clara refers to saving it “the way that the town turned out.” This, to me, is a slight difference that paints the contradictory nature of the town in a different light. The English version claiming that it’s the town’s “true” form almost makes it seem like a design from an outside force, both bringing up vibes of intelligent design and the fact that the town was made this exact way by the children. The Russian version’s implication that the town “turned out” this way has a more “nature is a chaotic force with no purpose” vibe to it, that would more suit a person unaware of the whole “we’re dolls for a children’s game inside of a video game” thing. Maybe I’ve just gotten used to being picky about the tiniest word choices because of my studies, but I feel like this difference changes the overall vibe. Like painting with the same colour but using a different brush.

Secondly, in Russian Clara calls Aglaya’s mission “simply a performance for fools” which to me is a wonderful choice of words, given all the theatre themes included in the gameplay.

I’ve kind of set a precedent where I make all of these “translation differences” have some sort of significant meaning for the narrative, but I just think this one is genuinely cool? It’s a bit of a “same colour, different brush” situation, where the sentiment is the same, but the word choice carries a different vibe. Focusing on the last sentence here, the Changeling specifically says “You were supposed to bribe him with your honesty” instead of “get at him”. And I just think that’s neat, because like. I always thought of “getting at someone” as like… An attack or provocation? But “bribing” someone has a bit more of that slimy vibe, which clashes with “honesty” so well, and… I guess it’d technically be an oxymoron.

During the conversation in regards to Clara acknowledging Maria as a mistress, in the Russian version she frequently switches between formal and informal “yous” when talking to the Bachelor. However, as it becomes clear here, this is an instance in which instead of a sign of respect, it seems that she is referring to several people at the same time. Namely, that she is directing her words both at Daniil and Artemy. During the Bachelor’s campaign she seems to think that the Haruspex is a lost cause and they seemingly don’t interact (and she even believes that he is dead during this day), so I doubt she actually ever spoke to him about this. It’s interesting then that she still tries to convince the Bachelor, even though she often calls him a fool. Makes you wonder what the differences are between this scenario and the Changeling campaign (in which she can invite Artemy to the Cathedral on the final day fully knowing that he chooses to stay oblivious).

Here’s some silly Clara on day 12 (right after giving a whole speech about the Polyhedron) and I just wanted to point out this very fun change. Instead of saying “pretty face” she instead says “мордашка” (pronounced “mordashka”)  which is a diminutive of “морда” (“morda) which is usually the word people use to refer to an animal’s face. Except it can also be used to refer to a person’s face if you’re calling them ugly. The addition of the diminutive adds a little mischievous tone to it, which turns it from ugly into a “cute” kind of thing. Like… Derpy, I guess. Anyways, I think it’s absolutely hilarious that Clara says that while also talking about the eldritch concept of being a multitude of people, or perhaps just one person controlled by the will of different people at different times (which they all are, by the way).

Big difference here that I found absolutely odd as in why they cut it out of the English version? This is from the “did you know we are toys?” dialogue tree and if you look carefully, you’ll see that there’s a bit here in Russian that for some reason wasn’t included in the English version. The last sentence after Clara says that she has an advantage. She adds “and I intend to use it.” Which like… I feel to someone who hasn’t played patho before would sound antagonistic, but to those who know - this is a direct indication to how it feels like playing as Clara in the campaign. You know a lot more about the game and the characters from other campaigns. And you already know that the kids are there and that they are toys. While playing you use all this knowledge to your advantage to play the game better. So yeah, don’t know why they cut that out of the translation.

Alright, I think that’s about all I’ve got for Clara’s role in the Bachelor’s campaign. I’d say the biggest differences that I notice is, of course, the biblical language (which I didn’t get good examples of unfortunately, but the whole “your eyes are white for you are blind” is a good example) and the subtle ways in which the words Clara uses hint to her knowledge of what is going on. As always, it’s something that’s also present in the English version, but there are also things that are characteristic to the Russian language that allow her to break the fourth wall. Like, with the change to a formal “you” we can get a bit more clarity on whether the Clara we’re talking to is real or not. With the specific verbs she uses we can almost see the outline of a false bottom to everything she says and I think that’s really cool. Outside of the translations, I think it is genuinely fascinating to get a better glimpse into Clara’s story during the Bachelor campaign - I feel like if we got more of her, it would give the whole game away. In what she says already, talking about the wills behind her, behind the Bachelor (although she does count Artemy as part of the “special toys” camp, she always says it with such disappointment. Cuz she compares herself to him, but is also frustrated that he refuses to get it) she alludes to being aware of not only the stagehands, but also the player and the power that they have. It’s also really cool because you can almost compare her to Aglaya, what with all the knowledge, sacrifice, and being doomed by the narrative. Except Clara’s approach is entirely different, although it’s difficult to glimpse through her frequently changing attitude. They both know “the Law”, both talk about how miracles should not be captured - except Aglaya seeks to undo what has been done, while Clara wants to forge ahead, accept the changes as part of the world. They both seek to fix what’s wrong, but what to them is considered “fixing” is so directly opposed that they have to destroy each other. I don’t know. I just think that both of them are really cool characters that totally don’t make me wanna scream, cry, and throw up, and you know… They deserve just as much love and obsessive analysis as the men in the story (speaking of which, in one of the dialogue trees where Clara talks about Block essentially becoming a crusader she can also admit that she knows it’s not true and that he’s also doomed, but she feels so bad about it that she pretends that he isn’t. And who knows, with a miracle worker like her it might just become the truth).

Also I'm thinking of maybe at one point or another making a name pronunciation, meaning, nickname, and literary references guide? Idk, sounds like it'd be fun.

I feel like a weird little bog creature whenever I emerge with one of these. Have fun and remember to engage your critical thinking skills, fact check, and let the media you encounter change you (be it through vulnerability or empowerment) instead of just being fodder for your consumption.

[khaire-traveler]

This might be a silly question .. But I’ve been struggling a lot for over a year, and I’ve been neglecting my relationship with the gods more than I’d like to admit.

The most I’ve done is reach out to them for help with managing through things, I’ve barely been talking to them or reading about them (which is hard anyway because my brain barely functions half the time). I’m just struggling a lot and I don’t feel like I can handle much right now.

I think a post I saw the other day really got into my head, where it mentioned respecting your deities and not only reaching out to them when you need something. Now I’m very much dwelling on it because .. well, I’ve been only reaching out when I need help most of the time.

Should I avoid reaching out to them any further until I can do more than just ask for help when I need it?

Hey, Nonny,

I direct you to this post that I just made in response to a similar ask. I feel it answers your question pretty well, actually.

Echoing my thoughts from the aforementioned post, I believe that a deity relationship that is built solely on the expectation of giving to receive constantly is not sustainable or healthy. This is just my personal opinion, but I feel that when we put so much pressure on ourselves to give and give and give, it discourages us from ever reaching out, especially when we are unable to immediately give back. I think it's important to set boundaries for ourselves and make the deity aware that while you may now always be able to give back straight away, you do still greatly appreciate their help.

It's more than ok to ask deities for help during challenging times. I believe they probably enjoy feeling valued and trusted enough for us to turn to them for our personal problems. However, a relationship that is built solely on asking for help and nothing else is likely not the best for us or our deities. I believe it's important to build a relationship, not solely through offerings, but in more personal ways. A deity relationship does not get stronger by only showing them respect through offerings and the like; it grows stronger through time spent, interests shared, and being vulnerable with the deity. We form closer bonds with loved ones through similar means.

If you want to grow closer with deities without the expectation of giving, I recommend doing things like watching your favorite movies or shows with them, incorporating them into your day (listening to a devotional playlist or caring for yourself as a devotional act), and sharing aspects of your life with them. Communicating directly with your deity - through prayer, journaling, or other means - is also an extremely important part of forming a relationship. After all, if we don't communicate, how can we become closer?

The point of all of this is to say that you are not required to give offerings as your sole form of worship, devotion, or showing appreciation. Worship can be shown in seemingly small ways as well. I encourage you to find ways to include your deities in your day. It doesn't have to be anything big; it can be as simple as dedicating a glass of water to them and drinking it. It can even be noticing their presence in the world around, such as through the warmth of the sun or the songs of birds. Along with that, asking for help is never a bad thing. I feel deities actually enjoy it when we ask for help because it shows them that we both trust and value them. However, I will admit that a relationship solely built on asking for help likely isn't a sustainable one. This is why I suggest finding other ways, outside of giving offerings, to interact with them. I think it'll help you feel a lot less guilty about not being able to give a physical offering. It's also a great way to make your relationship feel more personal and deepen your bond with a deity. Again, I want to emphasize that asking for help is never a bad thing, but I do encourage you to explore your deity relationships in other ways as well. There's all sorts of things you can do with and for a deity. Even meditation can be a great form of interaction.

You are not doing anything morally wrong by asking a deity for help. You aren't a bad worshipper or a horrible person for relying on your deities without giving something in return. There's nothing wrong with you for that. It's ok, and I'm sure your deities are capable of understanding your reasons for not giving as much as you'd like to. Try not to beat yourself up so much. Not having the energy or emotional ability to give an offering is both completely normal and entirely understandable. I think it's best if you focus more on yourself and taking care of you for now. I believe our deities don't want us to neglect our own well-being simply to venerate them. I feel they care enough about us to want our health before an offering.

I hope this helps you to hear these things. This is all based on my personal experience, so take it for what you will. There is no single right way to worship. There are no rules. We do what we see fit, and there's nothing wrong with that. I hope you take care, Nonny, and that you feel better. I wish you the best. Have a good day/night. 🧡

[anonymousewrites]

Adolescent Antichrist (Book 5) Chapter One

Father Figure! Lucifer x Teen! Reader

Chapter One: Is That So Much to Ask on My Birthday?

Summary: (Y/N) has to deal with their birthday without Lucifer.

Mouse Note: Welcome back to Adolescent Antichrist! Book 5 is here! And, yes, we're starting out unhappy. Sorry not sorry, it's necessary. But, anyways, I hope you guys enjoy! Please remember to comment, I love interacting with you guys. I'm so excited to share everything I have planned with you all. I have the next two books planned, and I am just so so excited to start this book and continue this series. Seriously. So, here we go! (Also, me posting a birthday chapter on my birthday??? Wow)

            (Y/N) ignored the knock at the bedroom door as they slept.

            “(Y/N),” called Chloe.

            They groaned and pulled a pillow over their head.

            “(Y/N), come on, everyone’s here,” said Chloe.

            No, they’re not, thought (Y/N).

            “Just come out for a little bit,” said Chloe.

            “Leave me alone,” said (Y/N) finally.

            “(Y/N), all your friends are here,” said Chloe.

            “I don’t care.”

            “It’s your birthday. They want to support you.”

            “It’s my birthday. I just want to be left alone,” snapped (Y/N).

            “(Y/N)—”

            “Go away, Chloe. Please.”

            “…Alright. But I’m right outside if you need anything,” said Chloe.

            She didn’t get another response.

            (Y/N) just curled up more and tried to ignore the outside world. The ache in their heart from Lucifer’s absence hadn’t abated, and they were left feeling empty every day without their dead. They went about their days like a robot, trying to remember how to feel but unable to trust themself to get close to anyone after the person (Y/N) decided to trust first betrayed them and abandoned them.

            Now (Y/N)’s birthday had arrived. They were turning sixteen.

            And their dad still hadn’t come back. They were still alone and broken and empty and tired of everything. Nothing anyone could do could fix the whole Lucifer’s departure had torn in them.

            (Y/N) just wanted him back. They wanted Lucifer to come home. They wanted their dad to come back to them.

            Instead, (Y/N) was forced to confront the fact that he wasn’t coming. Once again, they had to understand that not even important moments of their life would bring Lucifer back. He was gone—forever.

            And (Y/N) would be broken forever.

l

            “Are they coming out?” asked Olive hopefully as Chloe walked back into the living room.

            Chloe sighed and shook her head. “They’re staying in. I’m sorry that you all came out here for this.”

            “(Y/N)’s our friend. Of course we came to support them,” said Noa.

            “Even if they’re not ready to celebrate,” said Leon.

            “But they haven’t felt alright for months,” said Marcel, worried.

            “Is there nothing we can do to help them?” asked Amenadiel, looking at Linda.

            The therapist sighed. “I don’t think so. Only time can really heal this. Lucifer leaving…It’s a big change for them.”

            “And Birdie has enough trauma surrounding abandonment that this really hurt them,” said Em, casting their eyes down.

            “We should leave them alone,” said Chloe. “That’s what they said they wanted.”

            “We’ll leave their gifts here,” said Linda, smiling. “If they need anything, just let us know.”

            “Yes. We’re here to help,” said Amenadiel.

            “Yeah! And we all sent (Y/N) messages to say, ‘Happy Birthday,’ ” said Marcel.

            “They’ll appreciate that,” said Chloe, smiling.

            “Do you mind if I stay here?” said Em. “Just for a little bit. Just…in case.” They couldn’t just stand by. She wanted to help (Y/N) in some way, even if it was just sitting beside them.

            Chloe nodded. “I think that would be good. I have to check in at work, so having someone near with (Y/N) right now would be good for them.”

            “Let us know if we can help at all,” said Noa.

            “Yeah,” said Olive.

            “We’re here for them, as well,” said Leon.

            “I will,” said Em, smiling.

l

            “Birdie.”

            (Y/N) heard the familiar voice, and their heart ached. “What? I thought I told everyone to go away.”

            “They did,” said Em. “But I can’t just leave you.”

            “Whatever,” muttered (Y/N).

            “I’m not letting you break down like this,” said Em resolutely. “I can’t let you just sit there alone and push everyone away.”

            “Fuck off,” snapped (Y/N).

            Em kicked open the door, and (Y/N) yelped, sitting up. “What the hell?!”

            “I said I wasn’t letting you sit in here alone,” said Em, walking in.

            “Go away!” said (Y/N), standing up and glaring. “I want to be left alone to my own misery! Is that so much to ask on my birthday?!”

            Em hugged (Y/N) tightly. (Y/N) froze up and stiffened, not having expected that from Em, who was barely that affectionate.

            “It’s going to be okay, Birdie,” said Em softly, holding (Y/N) tightly.

            (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and they burned as tears collected. “I-I…”

            “I know,” said Em. “I know.”

            (Y/N) sobbed and hugged Em back as the tears began to fall. “He left me, Em. He left me…”

            “It’s going to be okay,” whispered Em, guiding (Y/N) to the floor as their knees buckled and they collapsed. “I swear, it’s going to be okay.” She let (Y/N) sob into their shoulder and held them tight.

            “How could he leave me?” said (Y/N), clutching onto Em’s shirt.

            “I don’t know,” said Em. “But you’re going to survive.”

            “…I just want him back,” whispered (Y/N).

            “I know. I know.”

            This wasn’t going to heal. There would always be a hole in (Y/N)’s heart without Lucifer.

            But Em hoped that they’d find a way to keep going. That was what she wanted for them.

l

            Lucifer stared at his phone, eyes empty of emotion. All he could look at was the picture displayed in front of him. (Y/N)’s face smiled out at him, and it broke Lucifer’s heart.

            He’d never see that smile again. He’d never hug them again. He’d never see his kid again.

            And Lucifer’s heart would never be whole because of it.

Taglist:

@sammyscreencaps-13

@grippleback-galaxy-galaxy

@scarlettqueen190

@ziro-the-null-god

@sammy-13

@zeros-rot

@ceridwyn3

@technikerin23

@poetoflawed

@slytherinroyalty16

@ilse235

@theurbannoodle

@lookitseddie

[imthepunchlord]

I'm actually pretty excited to see that you're going with your new version of the miracle box, I think it would be pretty interesting to explore! Though since this means that the frog, owl, spider, wolf, and raven will be cut, is there any chance we could learn about their power (Jagrr's seemed pretty interesting from the brief stuff you mentioned)?

Luckily, those technically can somewhat exist through unification and similar themes/aesthetic.

Like Spuder could be a theme from Ladybug (working off akuma Ladybug ideas do spider, also yo-yo wire could reflect spider silk, spiders are also lucky in Chinese culture).

Frog could exist through Turtle + jumping related animal.

Raven through any bird + Cat.

Owl through Eagle as both are birds of prey having themes of sight, strength, knowledge, warrior, ect..

And Wolf can exist through Dog and Fox given close relations/similar roles.

Anyway, some of their powers got cut, others might be moved over, depending on what I do power wise.

Frog

- Vault, portal hopping, short range teleportation

- Spring Step, playing the drums, bring motion to the motionless, animate statues and toys, could also be used to reanimate technically

Owl

- Sands of Time, using the hourglass, the chosen target will exist outside time for one hour, kinda making them a phantom, unable to interact with world, not be seen or heard (inspired by SL Vanisher)

- Silence, silences the world around the user, removing all sources of sound

Raven

- Black Out, darkens the world, if outside, cause a temporary eclipse

- Flight of Fancy, dreamwalking and dream manipulation

Spider

- Weave Magic, craft an animated puppet that does 1 task

- Tangled Web, craft a fabricated maze, a mass illusion

Wolf

- Cry Wolf, become a werewolf with none of the cons

- Black Hole, creates a literal black hole that sucks up what's in front of it, trapping all in a void pocket dimension that the kwami and holder wardens over, and only they can free whatever or whoever is inside.

[spoiledblogif]

How do our Ro's react realizing they are falling for Mc? Especially Jacob Carter since he took us in.

lmao y'all are never going to forgive me for not making Carter an RO, are you?

Carter: In an alternate universe where he allows that to happen, he would 1000% keep it to himself and go to his grave with that secret. In a universe where MC wasn't his adopted kid and just his partner/consultant (which, admittedly, was the original story--don't hurt me), he'd probably also be pretty reluctant to say anything. Carter has a bad track record with relationships mostly because he throws himself completely into his work and inevitably ends up neglecting his partner. If it's someone he's not serious about, then whatever. But someone he genuinely loved and cared for, he'd feel too guilty to ever let it happen. Better to have them in SOME capacity than lose them all together to his own inability to commit to more than one thing at a time.

R: Panic. Like, R is the type to be a shameless flirt, but real, genuine emotions cause them to have a breakdown. A lot of how they present themselves (superficial, equal parts annoying and charming, etc) is meant mostly to keep people at bay by either driving them away or just by not letting them past those skin-deep aspects. So actually WANTING to be close to someone would be very scary.

Z: Z's a little complicated. They've never let themselves have a life outside their work, so they might not even realize what their feelings are/what they mean. They'd probably interpret it as just wanting to keep the MC safe and never thinking it's mutual in anyway. They have a very black and white view of the world and 'love' by it's nature is kind of a shade of gray so it's definitely out of their realm of expertise.

The Kestrel: Kestrel is a funny beast. They start out basically seeing the MC as more of a object and less of a person. So they're not very interested in the deeper things or nuances. Once they get the chance to INTERACT with the MC, then those other things start coming into play. And as strange and foreign a concept as it'd be to them to CARE about someone, they'd probably be torn between being confused by it and unable to resist the urge to metaphorically touch that sun.