#Until I realized it's just picky - it has an import feature but it only works like 40% of the time

[sysig]

Editing in Windows Movie Maker: I know you’re trying your best, but you keep moving my captions and I want you to stop

Editing in Lightworks:

[mo-mode]

Back on my Screenwriter soap box while watching PJO: They should have bought a bunch of oil diffusers.

(Edit: This post was made before someone pointed out to me that I missed a key line of dialogue, but my points and theories still stand for the same reasons backing up my original post so I’m not changing anything. The dialogue I missed lets us know that Hermes told Percy the lotus was being pumped into the air off-screen. It’s also implies (? I’m still on the fence about this one?) that Hermes told him what day it is, but I missed these during my first three watches because of how quick and vague it was. Which actually kind of supports my point on why visual indicators are so important. Without these, it’s easy to miss key information. And remember, it’s a kid’s show. ANYWAY my conclusions haven’t changed, and I still believe these edits would work better than the quick line of dialogue so just keep this in mind. Thanks.)

(I’m not being nit-picky. I swear. Just hear me out.) So the weirdest thing to me in episode six was how Percy just…learned everything so quickly without any visual indicators? Like they know time passed because it’s dark outside, but how did he know it was Thursday? They know they were affected by the lotus flowers, but how does he know it was pumped into the air? This irked me because even if he’s smart enough to figure some of this out himself (which he is) we as the audience should still be able to follow his thought process instead of learning after the fact.

What if there were oil diffusers?

So imagine the trio walks into the Lotus, figures out this is like the Odyssey, and decides not to eat anything. They waltz in super confident that they cracked the code, but they were wrong. How do we know? Because the moment they enter the crowd, we get an establishing shot of a lotus-branded oil diffuser letting out steam.

Immediately, we as the audience realize their mistake, making it just that more tantalizing to watch. As the episode continues, we realize they’re everywhere. There’s a diffuser in the plants, on the counter, between the game tables, always right out of the corner of our eyes. They just keep churning out lotus-scented oil into the air, which we can infer because we’re smart. (Remember that.)

Now when Percy realizes what’s going on, we know HOW they’re doing it and HOW Percy knows without being told!! Because they were there the whole time.

Onto Thursday.

Consider: A watch.

What if Hermes has the only watch in the casino until the trio walks in with their own?

Let’s give Annabeth one of those cheap, funky watches that gives the time, day, month, year, etc. Something you get from a kids toy catalogue. It’s waterproof, glows in the dark, has an alarm or whatever. I feel like Annabeth would have one of those. (And honestly, she might already. I forgot.) The most important feature for us, though, is the day. It clearly tells us the day of the week.

It’s pretty easy to establish that Annabeth has the watch. Just do it the same way they establish the date: Percabeth arguing over it in the truck. Annabeth shows him the watch. Establishing shot of the watch’s face. That’s it. No bells or whistles necessary. Then when they get to the casino, Annabeth checks it one more time (without an establishing shot, she just does it casually) and they walk in.

(It’s so easy. I promise.)

While Grover is walking around alone, he tries to check the time and realizes there’s no clocks. (Which ngl is super common in casinos already, but it’s creepy nonetheless.) Yada yada, he gets sucked in by Augustus and that’s how he gets got.

Meanwhile, Percy and Annabeth keep meaning to check the time, but every time they do, someone tries to hand them an appetizer or a drink, which makes them forget OR Annabeth’s hubris keeps her from checking. (Percy: Time check? Annabeth: Its only been five minutes. We’re fine. We need to focus.)

And that brings us to Hermes. After their chat, yada yada, Annabeth “leaves” and Hermes gets all cryptic, then he makes a BIG show of checking his watch, and THAT’S when Percy realizes something’s wrong because oh no they haven’t checked the time. So he finds Annabeth, they see it’s dark outside, they check her watch, and it’s Thursday.

“But we didn’t eat anything!” Annabeth says. Percy looks at the diffusers by the entrance. It dawns on him. “They’re pumping it into the air.”

That’s how you VISUALLY SHOW US THINGS instead of Percy just figuring everything out off-camera and telling us!!!!

Now, you may be thinking “Oh but do they have the budget for that??” Do you know how cheap these props are? Just bulk buy like six oil diffusers, slap a homemade sticker of a lotus flower on them, and keep moving them into every shot. And they’re quiet!! They wouldn’t interfere with the sound, the steam is visible enough to be caught on camera without messing with the lighting, they actually look really cool in some lighting, and they fit the atmosphere of a hotel/casino!! Then the watch is like $15, fits with Annabeth’s character, and totally matches her outfit.

It’s CHEAP! It’s EASY! It DOESN’T CUT INTO THE RUN TIME! It’s AESTHETICALLY PLEASING! ANNABETH GETS A SICK WATCH!! NO DOWNSIDES!!!!

The biggest problem with this show isn’t how accurate it is to the book or how much money they have or that they’re “Disney-fying” it. The problem is they are TELLING US things instead of SHOWING us. And not to beat a dead horse because everyone’s heard of “Show Don’t Tell” but like??? This is exactly why everyone is taught this over and over again in school?? Because people still do it anyway all the time???

There’s also something else I learned (or really just picked up) when I got my B.A. in Creative Writing: Good shows are predictable.

Whether it’s a case of the audience learning what’s going to happen before it happens or them watching the show again and realizing how obvious the answer was the whole time, audiences always want to feel smart. They want to interact with the material. If you don’t give them the opportunity to pick apart the mystery themselves by setting down clues, they’ll give up on interacting with the show and lose interest. That’s why you SHOW them things. There are several moments where this show is completely unpredictable, not because it’s complex but because it doesn’t let you predict it. That doesn’t make it bad—the comedy and character development is doing a great job of carrying the show’s weight so far. But it definitely doesn’t make the show good.

It’s like Rube Goldberg machines. Or dominoes! We don’t watch those crazy 1000+ domino videos so we can watch the last one fall. We watch it to see HOW they fall. Take one domino out, and it’s unsatisfactory. It doesn’t work anymore.

But some oil diffusers and a watch??? Little clues that make the realization that more visually appealing??? THAT’S SATISFYING

Anyway, these are just two things that could have been done, but weren’t. Most of the show is stellar. I think it just needs a little bit of editing here and there. I studied this for like years, and I needed to get this off my chest. That’s it.

Rick Riordan, if you ever see this, I am available for hire :) I would love to be a script doctor please please please please

[revirushifaa]

OK, but imagine MC dying of old age while their daughter is still super young and Lucifer doing his best as a single dad for centuries as their daughter grows from the terrible twos into the teenage rebellious streak that definitely didn't come from him (it did).

Haaah, more papa Sushifer is in order! This is already fun, so I'll give up a scenario!

Enjoy!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Daughter of Pride:

MC is gone. His partner is gone, and now the only thing that was left of them, was their one-year-old daughter, Lucille. While Lucifer was still a little mournful over his mate's loss, he promised to them that he would be the one raising their firstborn, it was a promise that he won't break, he did his best with the raising alone, after all he had experience with raising children.

Lucille was a demon like her father so she aged differently from her human parent so it was only natural that MC died without seeing their daughter grow up, something that torment them even to the last moment of their life. Lucifer didn't wish to remember that sad day. It had to be one of the most saddest days of his long life.

Please, MC, my dearest... stay with me

Lucifer... take good care of my little girl. Tell her that I love her... I love you too, both of you...

With that last sentence and warm smile, MC stopped living. He was so devastated that he turned himself colder around everyone... but his daughter. Lucille was the only living being left from his mate, the one who he had to protect and raise. It wasn't an easy task, normally, MC was who took care of her the major part while he was absent in business with Diavolo.

But he had promised with his heart to MC, that Lucille would be cared for and raised well. Just looking his daughter, it remembered him of MC. While she had his body form and face features, her hair and her eyes were MC's, it was like seeing his beloved in their daughter, which he took as comfort. He would nuzzle Lucille at nights and snuggled her in bed, the baby half demoness had MC's calid smile and laugh, but she had also inherited that hard attitude from Lucifer. It was a mix, of hard and soft.

"You are my pride and joy, Lucille. Never forget that, daughter mine."

What he would always murmur in her small ears as he snuggled her and cradled her. With his daughter with him, he didn't become full isolated to his room, if he had lost both MC and Lucille, then Lucifer wouldn't be sane at all. At least Lucille was safe and sound with him.

"No, Lucille. You cannot have sugar all three meals."

As the little demoness grew up, she was more hard to raise or to try to discipline. She was spoiled, that was true, and sometimes she turned out bratty.

"But I wanna sugar. SUGAR NOW!!"

"Lucille—"

"SUGAR!!!"

Sometimes her temper tantrums, gave Lucifer huge migraines and constant stress. It was when he used his major authorital tone, that he made her to stop acting up. And if that didn't work, then it was taking her privileges and sometime in the corner. He never hit her as a punishment. No. He just couldn't bring himself to do that, the demoness was only three and if he did that, he would be breaking an important promise that he had made to MC. Be fair with my little girl, Lu.

So physical discipline was a no-go with him. There were other ways that worked his way. Like when he grounded her from playing with her toys for three days. She would only study and practice her writing. No dessert as well. He had glared sternly at Beel, warning him to not be lenient when his daughter was grounded.

"That's it, young demoness. No toys or dessert for THREE days."

"But, Daddy-"

"No buts, or else I'll add another day to your grounding."

That was all to shut her savage mouth in protesting. Of course seeing her sob and cry because he was too harsh in speaking to her, always made his heart hurt. He would always tone down his voice and speak more gentler to her, explaining why he did that, and then fix the situation with offering to do a compromise, if she was well-behaved and willing to it.

As she reached into adolescense, that was a huge stress to the poor prideful father. Lucille at 16 was such a pain in the butt. Demanding and rebellious, a huge picky eater and a true brat.

"I will be clear with you, young demoness. If you give me an ounce of attitude, then your D.D.D will be confiscated for a month, you won't go out during that time and will be put on chores duty for until I see an improvement in your behavior. And you will write three thousand times I will not disrespect or disobey my father. Clear?

Lucille would huff at how strict her father had turned himself into. But she hadn't known that it was all her part to have put him that way. Lucifer was fair if she was fair, it was a cycle of giving and giving back. Lucille behaved, Lucifer rewarded her. Lucille misbehaved, then Lucifer punished her.

"Father, when did you turn like an old boring grandpa? I only want to have fun! You can't keep me as your prisoner in this boring house!"

"Lucille, I demand more respect from you. This is your father, speaking to you. And I never said that I would keep you here all the time. But first things first. Do your school work and then you can go out. Do we have a compromise?"

"Fine. We have a compromise, Dad."

Lucifer would smile a bit softly, when the young demoness was reasonable.

"That's my good, little demoness." He would end it with a kiss to the top of her hair, before departing from her and going to do his own work and the demoness would go to do her own thing as promised.

Sometimes the lying habit came to Lucille and because of her, Mammon got in many trouble when it was all her buying the latest of fashion clothes.

"How do you explain this, Mammon?"

"Hey, what have you gotten into you?! I don't buy girly stuff! Maybe you should ask Lucille!"

....

"LUCILLE!!!!"

"What?"

She would come to him with a nonchalant look, as she's wearing highly expensive clothes and from that, is when Lucifer realized that it's all his daughter and not his greedy brother.

"So it was you who spent all of our money to please your nonsense..."

"Nonsense, Dad? I am a demoness in need of good clothes and looks! What if I find some good looking human in the future? They wouldn't like a normie, like how Uncle Levi dubs it!"

Lucifer's poor head throbs with absolute pain and stress. Ugh his daughter, is again causing him to go grey at just the age that he was at currently.

"Apologize to your uncle and then go to your room and write three thousand times I will not lie and blame my uncle into buying items that I don't need. Right now. March."

"But, Dad!"

"No 'but Dad'. Now, Young demoness. Or else, I will make you write it fifteen thousand times. How is it going to be?"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Mammon..."

And after her uncle acknowledged her apology, she went up to her room to do that, with a sad face, she didn't want at all to make her father disappointed today. Lucifer took notice of it, but decided to wait until she was done with the writings to talk about it.

It was several hours but she was done, and her handwriting had gotten better, it was because of the writing punishments that it got better, seeing as this was a very common punishment that her father doled out to her when she was being disobedient or a brat.

"I...I'm done..." she said in a quiet voice.

Lucifer had looked up from the papers that he was signing. He frowned softly, the demoness hadn't realized it but she had a few tears rushing down her cheeks. His firm tone from before had softened to that gentle tone, as he approached her and pulled her into his hold.

"I hope this will be enough to end your lying habit. I do not like seeing you sad, but you know I cannot let you get away with something that you have done wrong. It is okay now. You have learned and there is not reason for me to keep mad."

He had soft-spoken to her, the way that she knew that he wasn't mad or disappointed anymore. But Lucille couldn't help feeling bad either way. She in fact, never liked putting her dad mad or disappointed in her, she let the silent tears trickle down. Lucifer said nothing, his comfort was always silent and he showed it with actions rather than words. He held her in his arms, all the time that she needed.

"I'm sorry I disappointed you, Dad..."

"There's no need to apologize now, this case has been solved. Don't beat yourself too much over it, your uncle had forgiven you, I have forgotten about it. It's all okay, Lulu."

And by calling her by her special nickname that he had for her, she knew all was well. She hugged more but to show him that she actually loved him so deeply. Lucifer already knew that, he loved his daughter with all his life, it didn't matter how much trouble she was, that wouldn't change anything.

He might be cold, stern and everything else that others said of him behind his back, but the love of a father was above everything else. He loved his demoness quite so much, so that was what was important.

"I love you, Dad. And I mean it."

"I love you too, daughter mine, with all my heart."

[burnedbyshoto]

Toyomitsu Taishiro (Fatgum) - HC

a/n: so I realized just how indepth these things really are, so scheduling I had is a joke, but whateva! happy four months lovlies :D

SFW:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they with an s/o?)

HE IS A BIG PHAT LIVING TEDDY BEAR DO YOU UNDERSTAND??? HE IS AS AFFECTIONATE AS YOU WILL LET HIM BE!!!!!!!!

B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

If you, his s/o, ever learned how to make takoyaki. You don’t even have to be an amazing chef, this small act of cooking his favorite food will make him worship the ground you stand on (as if he wasn’t already doing that!)

C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

You know those huge fluffy stuffed animals you wanted as a kid and you’d just lay on top of their big poofy stomach and just hold on because you were living the life??? That’s cuddling with Taishiro and you can’t convince me otherwise. Also, he loves it when you do it??? It just makes him feel super amazing???

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

He would love to open a poor kitchen with you. The two of you are that couple that everyone respects because of how kind and generous you are, and this kitchen would mean so much to those in the community that needs it.

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

He’s very busy as a hero, and most nights he is very tired, but he will always dedicate his free day to you. Of course, it’s surrounded with errands, but just being with you is enough. He puts as much effort into his relationship with you as he can.

F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

He will give you his hero hoodie. The soft and warm extremely large fabric of the jacket drowns you, but also makes you feel safe. He’ll wait for you to want his physical help, but for now, take the hoodie.

G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Taishiro is the boyfriend who buys the rose from the local flower shop and brings it back with him on his way home. He gives you little gifts that make you smile, not really into really big and extravagant gifts unless the occasion calls for it. He enjoys the small things because you remember them just as well. He never expects a gift back and is genuinely shocked whenever you bring something home for him.

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

He is a big hugger. He will hug you more than kiss you, not even going to lie about it, but you enjoy it. Taishiro is an amazing hugger and it makes you feel safe, soft and warm.

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

He is a huge romantic and is never ever afraid to demonstrate that to you or anyone. Never misses an important date, always texts you happy anniversary! Even month 18 he will send a heartwarming message as if it was a huge one!

J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

He’s a bit of a jealous man because you are amazing. Of course, this jealousy doesn’t drive him to do anything, but he knows that many men scoff at him because he is in his large form! But he never fights anyone unless provoked into a fight; instead, he just glares at them which is super scary because he’s typically such an easygoing man.

K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

He is a good kisser!!! His lips are never chapped, and he loves peppering kisses all over your face!!!!!!! He loves kissing you and will kiss you as often as you want him too.

L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

He says “i love you” at a year. He fells it well before, but he felt that those words hold a lot of meaning, and he wants to express these genuine feelings to you at a special moment in your relationship because you mean the world to him. Afterward, he will continue saying it every day. If he had to choose between expressing it or saying, he would always show it.

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

He wants to marry you, for sure! The ceremony would be small and intimate with only people the two of you love going!

N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

You two visit a lot of restaurants together! Cooking classes!!!! Weekend trips to some taste-testing place!!!! wALKS THROUGH THE COMMUNITY?!?!?!!? They happen every week.

O = Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

He will not change his form for you. If you prefer FitGum over him, he won’t ever change himself.

P =Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

He’s actually a very serious lover. Don’t let the wide grin and pleasant personality fool you. He is very very serious, that’s not to say he won’t play around with you or not joke around, but he likes being as straightforward and clear as he can be.

Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

He will ask for your opinion on things, he wants to hear your thoughts because he respects your input and ideas. He is also a very open and honest person; he shares his opinions even if they contradict your own.

R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

He’s not predictable but also not spontaneous. Like, you expect things from him because he’s a very routine guy, but he still manages to make every single routine something new for you.

S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

You can sleep on top of his belly, he loves it and he doesn’t move in his sleep so it works out! It also makes sharing the blankets easy!

T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

Taishiro trusts you completely. He never doubts what you say, and even if he thinks you’re lying he trusts you’ll come around and tell him the truth eventually.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

His compliments. I know, compliments aren’t special or anything new, but there’s something so strangely different, so warming about the way he compliments you. It strikes your soul and warms you up whenever he praises you. You may not have a praise kink, but maybe you do now.

V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

Taishiro actually really really hates being vulnerable in front of you. As a hero, he thinks that it isn’t correct for him to be breaking at the seams. But, when he has to be, it can be at any point because hero work is so fucking exhausting… he’s just… sad. The smile on his face is shakey, his appetite is gone, he’s a shell of who he is, and you both don’t like it.

W = Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

Taishiro and you have a long-running game of throwing food into each other’s mouths in the most creative ways possible. The best one so far was when he threw a takoyaki from his stomach hundreds of meters into the sky and you caught it. LEGENDS ONLY!!!!

X = X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

He will cater to you without even blinking an eye. Taishiro will overfeed you because you need the energy to heal! He will giVE YOU HIS JACKET AND I JUST REALLY WANT TO WEAR IT OKAY

Y = Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

Super picky eaters. Now now, i know there are picky eaters out there, but i’m talking about picky eaters who won’t let him try any new foods. No, he does not care if you only want chicken tenders for the rest of your life, but if you won’t let him try a new restaurant because they don’t have anything it does bug him.

Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as an s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

He is a super intimate and passionate lover!!! He will try his best with what he has to give to you, and he loves it when you return it to him on every level.

NSFW:

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He lays there for a while, trying to capture his breath again. When he gets up, he always makes the two of you tea, and he returns with some food and whatever you need.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite feature is his legs, they’re just super strong and goddamn do you look hot as fuck when you’re sitting on his lap. His favorite body part on you is your mouth. Your pretty little mouth that can suck him off, kiss him like no one else, and whisper the most sinful things in his ear… yeah, he loves your mouth.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

His cum is… a weird taste. He has a good appetite, but he does sometimes eat questionable things, and it… is evident. But he loves watching you swallow his thin yet full load.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He has kept a pair of your candy panties that he didn’t get to finish and ate it in public one day because he was able to pass it off as a candy bracelet… you don’t know that though...

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He is actually not that experienced... unfortunately most people see his fat form and scoff at him because of that, even if he is a kind man. Having sex with these women was especially hard, and since he was busy for a long time he never let it bother him, but he was sort of a natural. He knows how to move his body.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

The standing pretzel (this one is fucking amazing btw) and loves fucking you when you’re on a swing.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He is more serious in bed, but will always be smiling. It’s passionate and meaningful to him, so he tries to avoid joking around. But if you’re into it, he doesn’t mind. 

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

It’s surprising very well-groomed. Almost to the point where it’s shaved off completely. (it’s for less friction with his hero costume)

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Loves to be super intimate and romantic. He is the kind of guy to hide flowers in the room and present them to you after fucking when you’re about to pass out.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t masturbate often. When he does, it happens more typically in the shower because he thinks you can’t hear him… you can… every time

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

FOOD PLAY FOOD PLAY FOOD PLAY!!!! Hairpulling, thigh-riding, overstimulating (giving), and blindfolds

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

In his office… oh my god, he loves bending you over his desk and making you come whenever you visit for lunch or something

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You. in. a. candy. bra. and. panties. Also, just sending him a very small thirst text/provocative picture is gonna get you some Daddygum dick.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Anything with humiliation. Do not ask him to be FitGum for bed, he literally will ignore you for the rest of the week. There are times he comes back with his low BMI so if you want to seduce that very tired and drained hero, be his guest, but never ever ask for it.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Loves giving it more. But goddamn you just look so fucking delicious going down on him that he doesn’t mind when you beat him to oral.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Isn’t too slow isn’t too fast. It’s why sex with him is so exhausting because you’ll come twice in ten minutes but it’s such a painful yet pleasurable ten minutes.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not into quickies unless he’s in the office, then, by all means, let’s make each other come in 3 minutes.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He is into experimenting as long as the two of you take it slow while introducing it into the bedroom. Like, don’t dial it up to 15 until you both are comfortable.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can last a few healthy rounds but nothing more than four rounds in one night.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He owns a fair share of toys that he much would rather use on you. Like he bought you a vibrator that does it’s job fucking right.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Will never ever say he likes to tease, but he’s a natural fucking tease and just isn’t aware. He will be fucking you at such a slow pace, his words teasing promises as he makes sure you can’t fuck him any faster. He’s a goddamn tease okay.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s quite vocal. He thinks words are very powerful and so will make sure he praises your every damn move if he must.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Really really really fucking loves being called hero in bed. He takes so much pride in his work that hearing it being slipped from your mouth… big phat nut.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s a big dick daddy. There’s no way he isn’t. Like nine inches with a considerable girth to it. Not veiny though, pinker than the rest of his body, and has a leftward curve.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He has a good sex drive… oh yeah, he can push himself to stay up every night to fuck you if needed.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Having sex really reenergizes him! He will definitely go finish up with last minute things afterward if you don’t fall asleep/want to cuddle.

[turnaboutimagines]

scenario: meeting their doggos

Featuring: Miles Edgeworth, Dick Gumshoe, and Kristoph Gavin

A/N: ace attorney men and their dogs give me life... that’s all.  this got way too long, but welcome to the blog!!!  you only get to make one inaugural post, might as well start it off with a bang.

Miles Edgeworth.

It’s a beautiful day outside, so it’s no surprise.  Now, what is surprising is spotting a certain magenta suit that belonged.  Prosecutor Edgeworth always seems to be working, so you initially decide to let him enjoy his rare moment of solitude...  Well, that is until you spot the little fluff ball of a Pomeranian ambling along beside him, anyways.

Unable to help yourself, you decide to approach him in order to meet his canine companion.  You catch his eye halfway to meeting him, his typical resting glare softening and his shoulders straightening ever-so-slightly as he pauses in order to wait for you.

“Ah, good afternoon, Mr. Edgeworth!  I didn’t know you had a dog,” you say, bending down and allow the small dog to sniff your hand.  His tail wags as he brushes his cold nose against your hand and you melt.  “And especially not one this cute!”

“Ah, yes... good afternoon.  And I do, indeed.  His name is Pess.”

You tear your eyes off the dog in order to look up to his owner, a hopeful smile on your face.  “C-Can I pet him?”

His throat tightens from your expression and he forgets how to speak for a few moments—his oration abilities seemingly flying south for the winter.

“... But of course,” he says with a gracious nod.

And with that you begin to lavish the small dog in attention.  Scratches behind the ear and chin quickly gave way to him rolling onto his back, inviting you to give him some belly rubs.  Your voice instinctively raises an octave as you coo at him, “You’re just too cute!  And sooo fluffy!  A certified good boy!!”

It seems like he’d made the right decision in taking his dog out for a walk here this afternoon.  He has to avert his gaze, face the tiniest bit flushed from how pleased he is to see you dote on his beloved Pess.  The strange way he feels around you only seems to intensify as his heart seems to pleasantly hammer away in his chest.

(But if anyone’s too cute here, it’s you.) 

The realization of what he just thought is not lost on him as his eyes widen in panic, face quickly flushing bright red.  Logic was his strength, but emotions?  Haha, no.  Definitely not.  Initially, he’d chocked up such intrusive thoughts to mere happenstance, but this was becoming a pattern—one that he was unable to deny any longer.

"Nngh...  I seem to have forgotten an important thing at my office, now if you’ll excuse me—”

Before you can even open your mouth to say goodbye to them, the man is strolling off with Pess trotting along beside him, struggling to keep up with his long strides.  

Dick Gumshoe.

You can’t help but let out a sigh as you sit down on the bench with your Samurai Dog in hand, ready to chow down on what promises to be a delicious treat.

“MISSILE!!  HEEL, PAL!”

That voice... you’d recognize it anywhere and in spite of its frantic-quality it still made your heart skip a beat in your chest.  You look up only to see a Shiba Inu barreling toward you at full speed with your detective crush running behind him, determination written all over his face.  Your grip slackens and, before you know it, the dog is up on the bench beside you and practically inhales the hot dog from your hand.

Gumshoe’s shoulders sag as he reaches you and grabs the end of Missile’s leash, brows knitted together as he gives you the puppy dog eyes.  “I’m real sorry about that, pal.  Missile here’s got a real nose for those Samurai Dogs, you see, and he can’t really help himself...  I-I’ll buy you a new one, I think I have two bucks on me...”  He quickly begins patting his coat’s pockets, trying to remember where he put his mostly empty wallet...

“I-It’s okay!  Please don’t worry about it, detective.”  You offer him a reassuring.  “Just stay clear of the next block, otherwise he’ll clear out the whole stand,” you say with a small laugh, meaning it as a joke.

Yet the detective only pales in response and you get the distinct impression that that’s happened before.  You can practically see the flashback to his salary being cut in his eyes.  Poor man...

Clearing your throat, you decide to change the subject as you look to the cute dog sitting next to you on the bench, tail now wagging in post-Samurai Dog satisfaction.  “So... this is Missile, huh?  Is he your dog or...?”

“Kinda, sorta!” he says, quickly perking back up with pride.  “He’s a K-9 unit down at the precinct, but I've been training and taking care of him.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Missile!”  You say, turning to the Shiba beside you and giving his head a gentle rub.  “Did you enjoy your treat, buster?”

He lets out a happy bark before leaning forward and licking your cheek.  When you giggle, he begins to cover your face in sloppy dog kisses and you only laugh more.

Detective Gumshoe brings a hand up to clutch his shirt, right over his heart, as a silly grin breaks across his face.  His cheeks flush red as he watches you and Missile get along so adorably.

Jeez Louise, does he have it bad for you...

Kristoph Gavin.

Your heart pounds in your chest as you stare at the immaculate front door to the large, equally pristine home that belonged to your boyfriend.  It was supposed to be a date night in, cooking a quality meal together and enjoying some wine afterwards.  He’d warned you ahead of time that he had a dog, Vongole, and that she's a bit picky when it came to people.  Just like her owner.

You just hope she’ll like you...  You’d been dating for over a month now and it was feeling like things in your relationship were starting to become more serious and this date felt like it was going to be a make or break point for the two of you.

Working up your courage, you ring the doorbell right on time.

“Please, come in,” Kristoph says, a gentle smile on his lips as he steps aside to let you in.  “I hope it wasn’t too hard to find?”

“N-Not at all!” you say, taking a step inside and quickly slipping off your nicest pair of shoes.  “Your directions were perfectly clear.”

The door shuts behind you.  “I’m most glad to hear it.  I know that your sense of direction isn’t one of your strong suits.”

You give him a look only to be greeted by that pleasant smile of his, but before you could fire off a playful retort back there was a flash of gold in your peripheral.  You turn to face the golden retriever that comes trotting up to you, long, silky fur brushed to the point of shining like real gold.

She sniffs your legs and you hold your breath, standing still as you let her inspect you on her own terms.  You can practically feel Kristoph’s gaze as he carefully observes you interacting with his dog for the first time.

“And this is Vongole, the ‘best friend’ I’ve told you so much about.”

Her tail begins to wag tentatively and you let out your breath as you kneel down in front of her, running your hands through her soft fur.  She headbutts you before nuzzling up against you, angling herself to where she wants you to pet her.  You let out a small laugh as you do as she demands, already smitten by her.

“She’s absolutely beautiful... and such a sweetheart, too!”

You hear him approach in approval as he crouches down on her right side and joins you in lavishing her with attention, “Yes, she certainly is, isn’t she?”  One of his hands brushes against yours as he offers you a charming smile, laced with a double meaning unbeknownst to you.  “It seems like you’ll get along just fine, my dear.  Just as I expected...”

Your face grows warm, but you can’t help but smile—feeling honored to have both of their approval.

[countdown-to-destruction]

Inuyasha Sequel: a rant

Put this up this earlier on a post I re-blogged, tried to edit a part or two where I didn’t like the way I had phrased it, and ended up messing up the whole format I wrote this in. Luckily I wrote this as a draft earlier anyways! So I did a some fixing and now I’m just copy-pasting it again and making it a text post instead. This will be very long and a little nit-picky but I wanted to make a post ever since I heard about the upcoming sequel to Inuyasha, Hanyō no Yashahime. I did put a TLDR at the end for those who don’t want to read everything. Not sure how many people in the fandom still follow me and will see this, as it's been a long time since I was actually active in the fandom, but it's hands-down both my favorite manga and anime of all time and I’ve been feeling nostalgic lately so I had to post something. Before reading this be sure to read all of the translated character bios for Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha so that this makes sense.

When I first heard that Inuyasha would be getting a sequel I was excited! But after reading up on it, to be completely honest I'm not feeling this sequel anymore. I know it’s an unpopular opinion but hear me out. Firstly, it seems like Rumiko is mostly involved in the character design aspect and the writing is up to Katsuyuki Sumisawa. The music will be produced by Kaoru Wada which is great! And from what I’ve seen and read online a number of others who worked on the original series will reunite so hopefully the story will go well. However, knowing Rumiko isn't personally writing and not knowing how much input she has or will give makes me unsure about watching. The original Inuyasha anime followed and was based off of the events in the manga, and there was no manga prior to this for it to be based on. Depending on what happens this could be an alright sequel or a total miss. Unfortunately sequels in general are known to be disappointing in some way. 

Secondly, if I hear anything about Rin being the mother of Sesshomaru's twin daughters I'm out. This part will be a SUPER long and in depth explanation on why I think this way, feel free to skip if you're not interested. Please don't come for me on this, I'm here to explain my thoughts and feelings on the sequel and the theories around it so far, not start an argument. I'm more than aware that there's plenty of controversy out there on this pairing and personally I do not support it. I never saw their relationship as more than a friendship, or something akin to child and guardian as Sesshomaru and Jaken are basically Rin's caretakers up until she goes to live in the village with Kaede. He definitely cares for her deeply but I can't see it in a romantic way, being that Sesshomaru isn't even a character focused on romance to begin with. He learns compassion through Rin's second death but that doesn't mean he loves her romantically. As a reminder his main goal is to seek power and be powerful, and it's stated that he needed to learn compassion and grief in order to mature. It's what helped him learn to wield the Tenseiga at its full potential. In addition, she was really young when they first met and still was when she went to live with Kaede. The idea of Sesshomaru (an adult) having romantic feelings for a kid under ten years old (around eleven at the end of the series, and still a literal child in all ways) and waiting for her to age with the intention of marrying her sits totally wrong with me. Age wise I realize that Inuyasha is decades older than Kagome and that his father was much older than his mother, Izayoi, as well. The difference here is that Kagome was a teen when she met Inuyasha (who not just physically, but more importantly mentally was also a teen) and clearly Izayoi was old enough to conceive Inuyasha and give birth. As far as the audio dramas (more specifically "Asatte") go they're generally considered as an outtake reel and are essentially parodies, or a form of satire. Some will debate on this but realistically there’s plenty of reasons this is true, and those who take the time to properly check them out understand that. For me I've always had a headcanon that at some point in her teen years Rin would inevitably develop a one-sided crush on Sesshomaru and that he would ultimately set boundaries and reject her, seeing her as more of a close companion than a love interest and wanting her to live with someone she can grow old with. He gave her the choice to follow him and it's most likely that she would, but I think that once she began aging he would want her to have somewhere to settle, given that he enjoys roaming and seeking out other powerful beings to battle. It's strange to me that they decided to give Sesshomaru hanyō/half-demon children in general but based on the artwork we've seen it's fair to guess that they might have made Sesshomaru and Rin a pairing in this sequel.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I want to clarify that if you ship them together I'm not writing this here because I want to hate on your ship for no reason, or in order to create an argument on if the pairing makes sense, these are my thoughts and opinions on the matter and I’m voicing them because it’s what I believe. I already know that somebody won’t like this and will take it personally. People usually say that once Rin is an adult the pairing is acceptable but I disagree. I find it quite creepy that someone would think it would be alright for an adult to wait around for a kid to grow up with the intention to marry and/or sleep with them. Watching from a distance is the same exact thing, after making an impression on the child... let’s not normalize this. In this situation it would be grooming. We all have our own opinions when it comes to our ships and fandoms and I try to respect that but I can’t get behind this one.

Next we have the apparent lack of parental figures for the heroines. Where are the original Inuyasha characters at? Moroha's character bio says she barely knows her parents (Inuyasha and Kagome, our former main protagonists) and has been alone since she was young! It makes me think either something has happened to them or some kind of bizarre event separated them. And sorry, not related, but why does she transform by PUTTING LIPSTICK ON?? That part threw me for a loop.

When it comes to Setsuna and Towa their parents are absent too. I find it difficult to believe that Sesshomaru wouldn't keep track of his children given how he treats Rin and reacts to her going missing in any capacity. Especially if he happened to be fond of whoever their mother is. One daughter works as a taijiya/demon slayer for Kohaku and the other mysteriously transports to Kagome's era and is raised by Sota (I thought we had finished with the time jumps when the well closed but apparently not. When the Bone Eater's Well closed after Kagome's return it gave a sense of finality and closure to the story, and showed that Kagome had chosen where she was most happy and felt she belonged. I think that bringing the theme of time travel back into the sequel makes it feel repetitive, like something right out of a predictable fanfic. Props to Sota for taking in and raising a child who showed up out of nowhere though).

Another thing that came to mind when I read these character bios was why Inuyasha and Kagome's daughter and Sesshomaru's daughters are the exact same age. Of course there's nothing wrong with that. It only struck me as odd because suddenly everyone is having kids at the same time. And so far there's no mention of other characters like Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Jaken, Kaede, or Miroku or Sango's three children or where they are. One might expect that a story focused on the children of some of the original Inuyasha's main characters would feature appearances from those who had important roles in the previous series and their children. Which brings me around to wondering what made twin daughters a trend? Two sets of twin girls is a unique choice (Sango and Miroku's twin daughters. For such a small group of parental characters, what are the odds of two sets of twin girls? Where is the creativity and again why the repetition?).

Lastly, Sesshomaru's daughters lack some of the common yōkai/demon characteristics we see on Inuyasha and other characters. Their ears are human, and they have no markings or otherwise (that I noticed) with the exception of Setsuna's mokomoko/fur which is similar to Sesshomaru's. So perhaps they take more after their human mother? Given that Inuyasha seemed to inherit strong genes from his father it's interesting that they did not. Their ages also interest me as they appear to age the same way as humans do. Yōkai/demons are known to have a longer lifespan than humans and appear to slow down or almost stop aging at some point. Perhaps this confirms that the slowdown in aging occurs once they reach the equivalent of a human teen? 

Overall Inuyasha was a fantastic manga and great anime on its own, and I never got the feeling that it needed a sequel. As a stand-alone it was everything it needed to be. I thoroughly enjoyed both formats of the original, though I do have a tendency to disregard certain parts of the anime. I always preferred the manga more when the anime dragged out certain scenes (Shichinintai/Band of Seven arc for example) or straight-up excluded, changed, and added others. Taking that into consideration the sequel might end up being the same for me in that way, but rather than one scene that plays out for too long or an excluded, altered, or unnecessary added scene, if it’s not any good I’ll simply disregard it altogether. When the anime comes out I certainly plan to try watching it out of loyalty to the fandom, and due to the fact that it's "technically" canon (without Rumiko being the writer I don't necessarily consider it canon, much like how some folks do or do not consider the movies canon) but I get the feeling that I'll wind up giving up on it in disappointment.

TLDR; Overall I'm left questioning if the sequel is worth watching (for me) given what I've read and heard so far, but nonetheless I will give it an optimistic try! I'm currently wondering how much we'll see of the original Inuyasha characters, if we get to find out what happened to them, if the number one pairing I'm not fond of will make an appearance (and cause me to drop the whole thing), and questioning parts of the character backstories and designs (why is there a repetitive and recurring theme of time travel and does it end up hindering or ruining the story, why do the protagonists all lack parents, and why do the hanyō/half-demon characters lack common yōkai/demon traits and does it make them more human than demon?).

[oncexinxmyxdreams]

OC Profile Laurie Venkman as a child (The Real Ghostbusters.)  

Bio

Name: Laurie Macy Venkman.

Age: 2 years old when first introduced to Peter. 

Ethnicity: Caucasian with melting pot of family roots. Irish runs from both sides of her family, but there's differences. French and Welsh from Mom's side. German, Dutch, and English on Dad's.

Species: Human.

Height: 29 inches.   

Weight: 18 pounds. 

Hair color: Dark brown like her dad’s.

Hair style: Chin length hair, but eventually grows to be shoulder length.   

Eye color: Cornflower blue like her mom’s.

Birthday: September 13th, 1983.

Gender: Female.

Sexual Orientation: N/A for now.

Powers (if any): No...she’s a little girl. What would she have? Power to be adorable? 

Distinguishing features (if any): Nothing too unique, but just for the sake of description she is a combination of her parents’ features. Besides the blue eyes from her mother, she has her defined cupid bow shaped lips and her round shape of face. She has the same turned up nose and shape of smile like Peter’s. She not only has the same hair color as him, but also has the slight curl to it and the widow’s peak hairline.  

Blood Type: A-

Clothing

Day to day outfit: She wears all kinds of different outfits just for day to day. Overalls, jumpers and play dresses that have gingham or floral patterns. Has little black keds like her mom’s. First outfit Peter got her for is a peplum sweatshirt with kittens on it and Laurie refused to take it off.    

Pajamas/What they wear to bed: Cute footie jammies. One time she was sent for a month to the firehouse by her grandfather with no pajamas packed so Peter bought her a fleece nightgown with hearts. Laurie loved it to much she didn’t want to change when she woke up. 

Formal Clothes: Has a chiffon spring dress that belonged to her mom when she was little and also a velvety Christmas dress.

Work/School uniform: Not school, but as Ruth puts it, more like she’s dressed as if going for school. That would be the popular drop waist dresses that girls had back in the 1980s with tights and shiny black Mary Jane’s. Laurie actually likes these outfits. 

Other (glasses, jewelry, etc): Just some play jewelry.  

Health

Physical Illnesses: Normal toddler health issues like colds, ear aches and sore throats. She does get ill from pneumonia to the point she's in the hospital.

Mental Illnesses or disorders: Slow with speech. Average toddler speaks 50-100 words, but she speaks half less. She suffers now and then from night terrors which Ruth has wondered is result from Claire’s death. Even though Laurie’s 16 months old when Claire died, she would’ve realized that her mommy hadn’t come back. (There’s proof that babies do grieve.) 

Medications?: No. 

Addictions (Drugs, alcohol?): No.  

General Health: Small for her size and a picky eater, but healthy since there's fruit and veggies she likes. At one point, when under grandfather's care-not Jim Venkman-, she's underweight from his neglect.

Life/Preferences:

Likes: Playing, coloring, peaceful sleeping, her plushies, being read to and being taken to new places (as long as she’s with family.) .

Dislikes: Not having her pacifier, certain foods, night terrors, bugs, wolves, timeouts and vitamins.

Career: Not yet. 

Hobbies/Talents: Would coloring count as a hobby? Has an obsession with the show Misty the Cat.  

Habits (good or bad): Sucking her pacifier even to the point that she develops a new habit of chewing on it. Ruth has a hard time weaning her from it.

Family: Her dad is Peter Venkman though he didn’t know she existed. Her mom, Claire Teague, sadly died, but Laurie was attached to her. On maternal side, Arnold and Ruth Teague are her grandparents. Ruth is easily the better grandparent between the two. There’s Caroline, Laurie’s aunt, but they don’t like each other. On the paternal side is Jim Venkman, her grandpa who changes his name around for aliases. She doesn't meet him for a long time. There’s her great uncle Alf that she’s never met. Does have deceased grandmother Lydia Venkman and her very distant side of the family, The O'Connors. Lydia and Laurie share the same initials: L, M and V. 

Friends: Doesn’t have any because she’s very shy. She prefers her plushies as friends.  

Romantic/Love Interest(s): Not until she’s older. 

Pets: No pets, but she has two beloved plushies. One is a tuxedo cat named Misty (based on a TV show she loves) and Peter Rabbit.    

Social Status: Born into a middle class family. 

Favorite Food: Peanut butter sandwiches and Oreos. 

Favorite Color: As of now, she likes pink, blue, purple, and green. She keeps changing what’s her favorite color.   

Favorite genre of music: She likes the 1950s music that Ray plays when he works on Ecto-1. That often distracts Ray to dance along with her.  

Favorite movie genre: She only watches Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and her favorite show, Misty the Cat. She watches Looney Tunes with Peter on Saturdays when she visits.   

Favorite Animal: Three way tie between rabbits, sea lions and cats.

Degree of Education: Hasn’t even gone to daycare yet. 

What language(s) can they speak?: Still learning to speak and that’s just English.  

Can they cook?: She can pretend to cook. 

Personality:

Positive Traits: Affectionate and playful. She doesn't throw fits when it comes to bedtime or naps. She likes sleep as much as Peter does.

Negative Traits: Has her times of disobedience, frustrations and picky eating  just like a toddler would. She’ll grow into her own personality over time.  

Archetype: The Innocent (Pippin from Lord of the Rings or Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.) 

Way they interact with others: Shy around new people, but  if they’re kind to her and spends time with them, she’ll get comfortable. Then she gets very attached.  

Way of speaking: Speaks at least 25 words and she can’t pronounce all letters. If she says Granny, it sounds like Gah-ee or Egon sounds like E-gah. Eventually, she’ll learn to talk more and pronounce better. Like Jessica Lange for Claire’s voice inspiration, Laurie’s would be Judith Barsi …because she has one of the sweetest voices I’ve ever heard and she needs to be remembered. 

Introvert or Extrovert?: More of an introvert at the time. 

Backstory

Laurie was a true surprise since Claire, her mom, was told she'd never have children. By that point, Claire was back in Indiana and had sadly broken up with Peter because of their life differences. Claire was too nervous to contact Peter thinking he'd be angry and didn't want to prevent him from earning his doctorates. Laurie's birthday was the one year anniversary that Claire and Peter first said "I love you" to the other. Her initials are reminiscent to her paternal grandma, Lydia Molly Venkman. Laurie's maternal grandma, Ruth, was Claire’s biggest supporter and loved helping with her grandchild. Tragically when Laurie was 16 months old, Claire was killed. Ruth took up to raising Laurie and realized Claire had decided to find Peter. So Ruth took measures in her own hands and Peter was shocked by the news. It takes adjusting for him, but he slowly accepts this new change. Later on, Ruth became sick and suddenly died. Her husband Arnold always gave Claire disgusting comments about sleeping with Peter-use your imagination for those words- so he never cared for his granddaughter. Even Claire’s sister, Caroline disliked her and never wanted to even see her. Unfortunately with Laurie living just with Arnold, he neglected her. He was an alcoholic and it only got worse because he missed Ruth. He’d suddenly send Laurie off to New York without warning and not come back for her for weeks; once a whole month. Laurie loved it because she was happy to be away from Arnold and she grew close with the Ghostbusters. The rest would be spoilers, but we’ll get to those one day.

Life Goals

Laurie eventually does have one goal though she doesn’t fully comprehend what a goal is yet. All she wants it to live with Peter. When she’s dropped off at the firehouse, she’s the most happy and thriving. Ray, Winston, Janine and Egon grow to love her. Most important, Peter does as well. (When he sits back at his desk with newspapers or books, Laurie snuggles up against him with her juice cup or naps.) Unfortunately Laurie’s under custody of her grandparents, even with Ruth gone, and Caroline is always mocking Peter for not being a suitable parent even though she wants nothing to do with her niece. However, things change when Laurie is 3 and found to be in critical health. Due to Arnold’s drunkenness and negligence, she’s found to be underweight and incredibly sick with pneumonia. That just might bring her goal to reality...    

[risottostitties]

Hi! First time here to ask haha! Any HCs for La squadra with an Otaku s/o? Like she watches anime and even buys merch in secret cuz she's scared they might find her hobby lame and immature? (Also,what will be their fave anime? And genre?)

Oh boy let me tell you I have some THOUGHTS about these boys and their taste in anime

La Squadra with an Otaku s/o

Risotto 

at first he’s gonna be kinda confused, not gonna lie. Growing up the only ‘anime’ he knew was like, Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z but at that point he was too old to really get into Pokemon, and he never considered DBZ anime because it aired next to cartoons and stuff.

But that doesn’t mean he won’t appreciate s/o and their good taste. He’s the kind of guy who wants to learn about what interests the people he loves, and he loves you. So he’d honestly enjoy late nights spent binge watching your favorites.

Comes to realize that DBZ was low key his gym goals for the early years of him working out. If you bought him a ‘Swole like Goku’ tank he’d probably wear it to lift in, ngl.

Knowing your favorites he’d probably look to merch for his go to birthday or Christmas gifts. Considering the hobbies and interests of some of his co-workers, a scantily clad waifu figure is honestly a welcome change of pace.

Depending on the style or aesthetic of the anime (ie, is it goth) he would be down to couples cosplay, although he wouldn’t be comfortable with you posting pictures of his face or any identifiable features of him online

His fave is probably the original Dragon Ball Run, followed very closely by DBZ for the nostalgia bit. Something deep like Full Metal Alchemist (Brotherhood and the original) would also appeal to him

Is also a big fan of Beserk, disappointed by the anime. And Vinland Saga, not disappointed by the anime.

Partial to Princess Mononoke as well. He likes some Ghibli films, isn’t afraid to admit it. Thinks the score for Spirited Away is bomb af.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto doesn’t really get it at first either. Honestly? He probably didn’t know the difference between cartoon and anime until you explained it to him.

Unlike Risotto he might be a bit more judgey if you try to get him to watch some with you. So you gotta hit him with the real classics. 

But similarly to Risotto, he at least makes an effort to try and indulge in the things you like. He might not be as patient, but he tries.

Probably wouldn’t do cosplay himself, but would hunt down exclusive seasonal merch to gift you. He’d take careful stock of your collections and do some research to pick out only the finest figurines and posters for you.

Would buy that hella expensive premium bandai apparel for you too, might even pick something subtle up for himself if he really liked the show it came from.

Also back on the cosplay note, if you agreed he’d find the highest quality cosplay possible and have you model some of his favorites for him.

(In particular if you were comfortable in fem clothing, Faye Valentine gets him going)

He loves Cowboy Beebop. 100%, wants to watch it again as soon as it ends. Everything from the characters to the story to the music and the fliud animation that has aged like fine wine appeals to him. Prosciutto is a man who likes the finer things in life. He oozes class. Cowboy Beebop oozes class and prestige.

Also likes Maasaki Yuasa. It was his idea to go see The Night Is Short, Walk on Girl in theaters.

In general his tastes tend to lean towards arthouse type anime or bona fide classics.

Pesci

Pesci knows anime and has been doing his absolute best to keep it a secret from the rest of the gang because they already tease him enough.

He’s one of those secret weebs, you gotta know where to look. Your best bet is to look at his accessories. Is there a watch with a certain symbol from an anime you recognize? A lanyard with a familiar print? Something subtle that isn’t immediately noticed by people not looking for it.

He has a secret box in his room full of blue rays from his faves. He watches them sometimes when he’s home alone. There’s nothing X rated in there obviously, he just doesn’t want people to know.

Thank god he has you.

The two of you probably bonded pretty fast over your mutual love of anime. Hell, you being such an open and proud Otaku probably gave him a bit of confidence in expressing his interests too.

Yall are the weeb couple. Yall definitely go to conventions together. Couples Cosplays, the whole thing.

He’s a sucker for Shonen just as much as he is for the really good heart wrenching painful ones. 

He watches Boruto because he loves Naruto so much.

He would also tear up at Clannad.

Dango Daikazoku triggers almost a pavlovian response of heart ache.

So does Secret Base.

Ano Hana is probably his favorite, although even you’d need to pry it out of him. Its one thing that Prosciutto gives him shit for liking anime, its a whole different ball game if he found out Pesci liked girly anime

Fromaggio

He knows what hentai is. That’s about as far as his knowledge went before yall got together.

He thinks its pretty interesting though, so he’d be down to watch some with you.

Turns out he really likes action shonen. He got really, really into One Piece. Like, instantly. He likes the fact there’s so much to watch/read before he’s caught up too.

Another boy that would couples cosplay and be really into it. Especially if it continued into the bedroom.

He’s pretty go with the flow, so he isn’t picky about what y’all watch. Even if it isn’t his cup of tea he’ll sit through a few episodes on a night with you.

Fromaggio can’t tell the difference between a high quality figure and a shitty one. Its a crap shoot what he buys for you. Its more a process of ‘oh, so likes this character’ rather than checking the seams and paint quality and how dynamic the pose is/interchangeable parts. 

Definitely buys way too much in the dealers room because of this.

He tries his best.

His fave is probably One Piece, liked bleach a lot but never read the manga, Yu Yu Hakusho is another one he really enjoyed. The Dark Tournament arc had him at the edge of his seat and hype as shit.

Illuso

Had a passing knowledge of anime before dating you. Knew what it was, saw a few of the mainstream ones, thought they were enjoyable, moved on with his life.

Your dedicated interest in anime would surprise him at first, because he always figured it was kind of a niche thing.

Would snoop around your collection of manga/figures/plushes in the mirror world while you sleep.

Winds up reading a lot of your manga like that (he’s good at reading in reverse because of his stand)

He finds he appreciates the art style of 80s-90s manga a lot more than he does the modern stuff. He really got into Ranma 1/2 and thinks Rumiko Takahashi’s artstyle is excellent.

If you asked him to watch Inuyasha with you he wouldn’t say no.

Probably wouldn’t want to do couples cosplay, but he definitely has an appreciation for you in cosplay.

You could talk him into going to a con if you caught him in the right mood. It’d be a hard sell though.

Has a surprising enjoyment for J-Rock. 

Inuyasha is high on his favorites list, as is Ranma 1/2. Also a fan of Ghibli movies although its pulling teeth to get him to admit it.

Melone

This man has watched so much hentai in his life.

He probably actually knows them by title honestly.

He enjoys anime too, and is not ashamed unlike Pesci. Everyone already knows he has unconventional tastes there is nothing to hide here.

Melone enjoys traditionally feminine anime, especially Sailor Moon. That one has a special place in his heart as he has memories of his sister watching it with him when he was much younger.

Its more of a decompress thing than anything else, so he doesn't tend to favor heavy anime with dense plot and more mature subject matter.

He likes Maid Costumes. On you, on him, it doesn’t matter.

Doesn’t know a whole lot about merch and what makes something higher quality but he learns fast. Between you and him the Dealers Room at cons won’t know what hit them.

Is the type to preorder a figure he knows you’d like. And maybe one for him.

Buy him this and he’s putty in your hands for a month straight (SFW don’t worry) https://www.amazon.com/Bandai-Sailor-Moonlight-Memory-Locket/dp/B00UA9XB48

Sailor Moon is his favorite as I’ve said before, his favorite sailor scout is Rei. Is also a fan of Ano Hana, Violet Evergarden, and Toradora although he needs to be in the right mood to watch them.

Ghiaccio

He went down the Fate rabbit hole and we haven’t seen him since.

The gender bending grates as his soul but he is addicted regardless. There’s just so much dense lore that he can’t seem to stop going.

But also seeing how much care and attention is paid to the historical background of a lot of the servants is intriguing to him. Its the perfect blend of accurate and harem trash that infuriates him but also leaves him needing to know more.

He hasn’t played every game but he has Grand Order on his phone and has sunk an ungodly amount of money into the gacha trying to get his favorite (Its Jeanne Alter, in case anyone was wondering) and has seen all the anime (His favorite is the cooking spin off because its surprisingly calming to watch)

Fate Zero is probably his favorite ‘serious’ Fate adaptation. He enjoys the gravitas of the Holy Grail Wars (and hates how it was tossed out the fucking window in UBW/Stay Night/Heavens Feel) and the ritual aspect to the summoning and foreshadowing of future events as well as hints at a deeper magical lore in the universe hit all the right spots in his lizard brain.

The fact every fate anime has a different version of Saber (or a Saber Clone) pisses him off too.

He really loves Fate. And will scream about it for hours at you.

Getting him to watch or talk about anything else is like pulling teeth but he eventually relents because he loves you.

Its difficult to get through a single episode without him grumbling about something or another, but he tries once he sees its important to you. He does his best not to outright insult your favorite anime.

Can appreciate high quality merch as well, probably collects Jalter Figures himself.

If you’re comfortable in fem clothing, Cosplay Jalter for him and he will literally ascend then and there. Keeps pics on his phone. Would probably make it his background. He’s weak

Outside of Fate he finds he enjoys high fantasy shows. Historical fantasy pisses him off too much, and straight up historical drama would also have him grasping for inaccuracies.

Full Metal Alchemist is a non-fate series that he really loves because of the world building. The movie Maquia was one he enjoyed as well. Likes every Miyazaki film, don’t tell anyone. Cried (and raged) when Ushio died in Clannad.

In general he just likes really good world building. It has to be good otherwise he’s going to spend the whole time picking it apart.

[laylacooke]

A New Hope || Lucas & Layla

timing: Sometime last week (5/17- 5/22) parties: @lucastheunlucky & @laylacooke summary: Luke invites Layla over for blanket tents, snacks, and Disney movies.  warnings: Prepare yo-self for this cuteness! ♥

Luke felt terrible about not really introducing himself to Layla before, even if he had literally just got out of the hospital and had a lot on his mind after his attack. But Luke was an extremely caring person and sent her a text inviting her over to his apartment which was equipped to the nines with security to keep them safe. Luke had a plan for tonight, equal parts to combat his boredom and, also, as a peace offering to a calm night for the other. On the couch, he had a short stack of clean lines, clothesline, pins, and various objects to aid in his vision of camping indoors. When he heard the buzz from downstairs he ran over and rang her in, opening his door he waited for her to come up. Offering a crooked smile at seeing her. “Are you picky with snacks? Cause guess what--” he let her into his apartment. “We literally have twenty different kinds.” He laughed. 

Layla had been hesitant about answering Luke’s text. The wolf pack meeting hadn’t exactly been what she had expected, and while she had stayed in her own corner most of the night, it seemed like no one had cared to reach out, and with Salva being there, had only made things worse. But she had played fault in such a bad experience, and in hopes of showing one of her fellow wolves that she wasn’t as bad as she seemed, she had decided to accept his offer. As soon as he opened the door, Layla let a small smile drift over her sad features, “Hey, and uh...if you’ve got any vegan options...if not, it’s totally cool.” She eased inside upon being invited in. Luke’s apartment was homely, and it felt like a safe space to be in. Something she could imagine having someday, if she could ever get her life in order, “Cute place.” Walking over towards a nearby wall, she stood quietly waiting for his lead.

“I mean junk food, so hopefully that’s okay,” he chuckled, showing the actual pile of snacks like Lucas had robbed a few vending machines. “I never get to eat bad, so it’s a treat.” Lucas poured them some drinks, offering lemonade, water, or iced tea. “So, first impressions weren’t the best, but listen-- I’m sorry. I couldn’t entirely focus on anything else. The nice thing about having a few of us around means we can all take care of each other now. Rotate, take when we need too, give when we can. It will balance out.” Lucas seemed sure of it, coming from a place where his family always felt like a pack before they left.

“No, it’s perfectly fine. I’m sure there’s something.” Layla looked at the pile of snacks. It was a lot, but it had been kind of him offering up all the treats for them to share. “I think, since being with Ari, Celeste, and Ulfric, it’s the first time, in a long time, that I’ve been able to eat good. What do you think you’ll eat first?” She looked back to the pile spotting some almonds and sunflower seeds. She had found her snacks. “I’ll go with water. Thanks.” She moved over towards the pile and pulled out a few packs of nuts and seeds. Listening to him talk about the pack, she could see how much of a family they were. She had hoped to eventually navigate her way in, but right now, she had felt like the outsider of the bunch. “And you don’t have to apologize. I know I wasn’t very friendly. I just still sorta feel like the outsider and being around a bunch of people makes me nervous, especially when I don’t know most of them, and one of them is a complete douche.” She paused, “Salva’s the douche...to clarify…”

Lucas chuckled, grabbing three different bags of chips, and plopping right on the floor in the living room. “Well, this is new for everyone. I’m not used to even existing for people to care about. I only just got my brother back. So, it’s alright to feel weird--” he paused, realizing he used the same description word Regan always used. “Not weird,” he corrected. “Just, different. Change is always going to be a ride.” He felt a little affection over her explain who the douche was at the get together. “Everyone has a variety of experiences to shape them. Sometimes the ones who are the meanest, and the loudest are the ones who are the loneliest in the group. We’re all a bit messed up, we gotta make do. Try to live. I hope that for you too.” Lucas sighed a little, trying to believe his own words, which would be a challenge, but he was determined. “So, think we can make a tent in here without further injuring ourselves?” 

If Layla was going to make the most of hanging out and getting to know Lucas, she knew she needed to lighten up. Her mind had been so clouded with darkness lately that it was hard to be happy and cheerful, even during Ariana’s adventures in pie making. But she was tired of being sad. Tired of feeling alone. And tired of just being. Without second guessing herself, the young wolf took a seat on the floor next to Lucas, “I get everybody’s going through their own drama. Throwing a moody baby wolf at everyone is probably the last thing on anyone’s mind, especially since there’s talk of...murdering a man?” She still wasn’t entirely sure what that was about, and did she really want to know? Looking to the stack of sheets and stuff needed to make a tent, Layla pondered the idea, before looking down to her red cast. “You know what?” She looked back to Lucas, “If someone can get a group of furry, full moon worshiping dogs together in one room, how hard could it be to put up a tent on our own?” It couldn’t be that hard, right?

“No murdering,” Lucas lied. “And you don’t have to worry about this particular hunter, ever. But, I’m here for you in the capacity I can be, alright.” He bumped her shoulder. “Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.” A cheesy smile spread easily on Lucas, looking up at the banister leading to his loft bed. “Maybe, we can connect it there first with ties? That way we know for sure one corner will be pretty secure.” Luke said all this in between chips. “Climbing that ladder has been a feat, let me go up and you can try to feed them to me.” Rolling up, he made his way up to the loft, using only one arm to hull up and balance on it. This is probably why Miles wanted him at his cabin. “Okay, I can sorta reach you, heh. Can you get the sheet up?”

She didn’t know if he was lying or not, but she also didn’t want to get wrapped up in anything. Layla had already found herself in enough trouble. The shoulder bump brought a soft smile to her face and made her feel accepted, “Thanks. I know you don’t really know me, but the same goes for you too.” Looking up to the banister and back to Lucas, she nodded, “Yeah, we’ll make this work.” Getting up, she watched as he maneuvered up to the loft. Layla grabbed the blanket off the couch and carefully climbed up the latter, so she could pass it over to him, “What do you need next?” This was going to be a task at hand, especially considering how weak she had been, but she wanted this. She needed something fun and silly.

Lucas took the blanket and tied a knot on the bottom of the banister, letting the rest hang down. “Let’s maybe knot a few on the other end by you? That way we can drape it over some chairs or something? Luke pondered cutely, poking his cheek and pursing his lips, “yeah, maybe, the sheet instead of another blanket so it’s not too heavy. You got that?” He asked, securing a few more knots on the banister so when they pulled on it or it had more weight, it wouldn’t unravel. “Also, I haven’t done this since I was like, nine, have you ever built a blanket tent before? I have three siblings, including Miles, and we’d always do stuff like this. But I’m having a blank moment remembering them.” 

Layla did as he had requested making sure the knots, she tied, were good and secured. Ironically enough, one of the survivalist techniques her parents had drilled into her mind were various types of knots, and those skills were coming out as they worked on the blanket tent, “How does that look? I can tie it a different way, if you need me to.” She hadn’t really realized it, until he had said something about making blanket tents as a kid; something she had never actually experienced being an only child to werewolf hunters. But what she had learned how to do was set up tents, start fires, and basically survive in the wild if it didn’t involve hunting or killing things. Face fading into a blank stare at this realization, she replied to Lucas, “Yeah, I wouldn’t know. I can set up a real tent and teach you how to survive in the wild, until the cows come home, but typical childhood things, you might have to google, unless you like tea parties and The Little Mermaid…” She blinked a few times before looking over to him with a sad smile.  

“No, shit-- that looks awesome, knew I called the right person, hehe,” he gave a cheesy grin, finishing up his work and jumping down the ladder to land gracefully on the ground. He stood up, tugging on the blankets, and sheets, opening them up little and seeing how far they would spread open. “I get that, some families don’t always give you everything you might need. This stupid shit? Playing? It’s so important to do, keeps you happy, reminds you of simple things like laughter. I’ll make sure you get lots of playtime in now and do fun stuff. I always have ideas.” He pet the back of her head affectionately, a motion that Lucas did with everyone to show he cared about them. It was always with a little scratching of his nails, and a rub with his thumb before he walked away. “I personally always like The Emperor's New Groove. Heh, just thinking about ‘LLLAMA FACEEEE-- ahh haha, get’s me rolling every time.” Luke started pushing the couch closer to the sheets with his shoulder and grabbing some chairs so they can lift the other end up.  

She smiled when she noticed the cheesy grin, he had given her. At least her hunting techniques had paid off somehow, and, in the best way, because no one would get hurt, “I might have to take a picture of this when we’re finished. Show Ari my first blanket tent.” It was weird to think she could still play at eighteen, but the thought comforted her, especially knowing that Lucas was just as willing to keep her young at heart. Feeling him pet the back of her head had startled her slightly, but when she felt the affection, the teenager closed her eyes for the briefest of moments taking in the ease of the situation and cherishing the opportunity he had given her to just be a kid. When the moment had passed, she turned her attention back on Lucas, “Do you know how to walk the Llama, Llama?” Layla could feel herself letting her guard down; a feeling she had long since forgotten. Realizing what he was doing, the red-head moved to help him, “This is gonna be pretty awesome when we’re done with it. Thanks for inviting me, Luke.” She looked over at him with kindness in her eyes as she continued to help.

“Okay. It’s settled. We watch The Little Mermaid then The Emperor's New Groove tonight. And if it gets too late, another night,” Luke said easily, together the chairs secured the bottom half of the blanket canopy and stepping back it looked a bit of a mess in the loft space, but under it with the cushions off the couch and spare pillows and snack— it was pretty neat. He plopped on his back and stared up, his arm resting on his chest and enjoyed it for a moment. “You’re welcome,” he said with quiet delivery. “Squeeze in, let’s take one ugly selfie to mark our success—“he pulled out his phone and angled it badly. He was already laughing but tried to squish his chin and make a silly, bad face for the picture. 

“Deal.” This was one of the best moments Layla had had since coming to White Crest. Everything with Ariana and Celeste had been special, but this was different. She felt like it was just a normal moment of not trying to fit in or act the way a werewolf should. She was genuinely starting to feel good about herself and the moment she was having with Luke. Finding her place under the tent, she settled in. Laughing and shaking her head, she gave into his request, and made the funniest face she could think of. “Can you send that to me?” She grabbed a pack of sunflower seeds and laid back down onto one of the pillows staring up at the top of the tent, “How are you feeling?”

“Mhmm--” he texted her quickly and showed that it was now in fact her picture for when she called. Lucas actually giggled a little, finding it quite amusing with their silly faces. He rolled up and sat crossed legged. “I’m still pretty tired, but that’s understandable. I don’t know if people told you about that, but you need to be eating well to heal up well. Or, that’s what my mom used to say. Calories, sugars, good fats, all needed and what not to speed up the process.” Lucas knew that question could mean the other half of that same coin involving him, so he added. “I’m hanging on--” he chuckled a little. “I’m way tougher than I let people know about. It’s my secret power. Being able to get back up even if it’s hard and hurts.” He opened a new box of treats and pulled out some fruit roll ups. “Hmm, have you tested your strength much yet?” 

Layla couldn’t help but laugh when she had seen what Lucas had done with the picture. It was the first one she had taken since coming to White Crest, and it was one she would cherish. Even though she hadn’t really known him when Ari had clued her in on what had happened, she had still felt bad. She hated seeing people in pain or hurting. It’s why she had made the world’s worst hunter, “I’ve been told. I just haven’t really felt like eating lately. Ari’s been making me Beyond Burgers, and I like the veggie burritos from Veggie Tables, but my appetite just isn’t there. I’m glad to hear that you’re doing a little better though, and I’m sorry I haven’t been much help in terms of...whatever is supposed to happen. It must be a nice power to have, but don’t forget to take care of yourself.” She poured a few sunflower seeds out of the packet she had grabbed earlier and popped them in her mouth, “I punched a tree…” She held up her hand with the cast, “Does that count?” The tree seemed to have won though, but she had left a rut in it the size of her fist.

“Nope,” he popped the ‘p’ dramatically, but Luke showed in his expression that he really did understand it. He’s been there. Being a teenager once with hormones and the change happening, he’d hit things until they were dented, and he was left bleeding. “Miles and I are pretty good on regimen things. You saw my brother, right? We got strength training on lock. If you want to learn your limits, you call on us. I’m working with Simon too, we’re going to be a strong ass pack, right? We gotta show off our muscles, hehe,” he chuckled while rolling the fruit roll up into a ball. “Also, you don’t always have to be the one giving help ya know? It’s okay. It will always balance out if your heart is there for it.” 

“I used to do some things back when life wasn’t all...Who am I kidding, it’s always been fucked up. Are you guys meeting up at a gym or something? Maybe once this thing is off my arm…” She held up the hand and arm that was dressed in a brace and shook it, “I can join you, and learn how to take out my rage in a healthier manner.” She ate a few more seeds, “I’ve got a little muscle.” Layla sat down the pack of sunflower seeds and flexed her tiny little muscle with a sheepish grin spreading across her face. It wasn’t much, but she was proud of it. Picking her snack back up, she resumed eating, speaking in between bites, “I know. I guess I just feel like if I suppress my problems enough and help other people, what I’m feeling will eventually just go away. Out of sight, out of mind sorta deal.” She knew it wasn’t healthy, but that’s where her head and her heart currently remained.

“I hear that all the time from others. It doesn’t go away. Sucks big time, I know,” Lucas didn’t want them to fall into bad thoughts together. It was easy for him to feel awful enough to contemplate the worst of things. “We’ll show you. It will forever be difficult for you though. Just know that and own it. You will get better; I can’t imagine you getting worse.” He laughed a little, to keep the mood light. “But all our training is outdoors. We climb rocks and run in the woods. Push boulders and jump from big heights. It's the best form of training. You will find something primal about it. Or I hope so.” He rolled on the side and pulled his laptop over and scrolled through Disney + in hopes the Little Mermaid was on there. “Come on, let’s chill.” He yanked a soft blanket over and a big pillow.

She appreciated his honesty. The last thing Layla had needed was for everything to be sugar coated, “Thanks for being honest. I really do appreciate it. And believe it or not, I can take a hit. Outdoor training sounds great actually, and I’m kinda looking forward to just the release of it all.” She finished off her sunflower seeds and chased them with a drink of water. Finding a cozy spot next to Lucas, she settled in. Whether it was The Little Mermaid, Emperor’s New Groove, or whatever, she was just glad to be doing something normal. Something that didn’t make her feel like it was fight or flight, and as she looked over at Lucas, Layla took in every part of this moment, so she could look back on it, when she felt sad the next time.

[purplesurveys]

975

survey by -iloveyou

Do you write your usernames and passwords somewhere in case you forget? I have them listed on my notes app and I also have the autofill option for both Safari and Chrome. I’m super forgetful so I need to have reminders everywhere, even if I only have been using variations of the same password I’ve been using ever since I got on the internet, lol

What was your reaction when you heard Michael Jackson died? I didn’t know much about him before his death but I was aware of how important he was in the music industry because my favorite artists would always hype him up and call him an inspiration, especially Beyoncé. When he died I was just as stunned as people on social media at the time were, but I wasn’t emotionally devastated since I didn’t have much of an attachment to him.

Farrah Fawcett? I knew who she was but just barely - definitely not as much as I knew Michael Jackson - so I was a little sad because it was still a death, but I moved on fairly quickly. The biggest thing I remember is how pretty I thought she was.

Do you listen to happy or sad songs when you are down? I avoid music when I’m sad, that’s one of my biggest rules. Too many memories associated with songs. I prefer distractions and running away from my issues, so I mainly turn to funny videos on YouTube.

What color is your room? The walls are white.

What are you wearing? A striped t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

Have you been outside today? Nopes. I’ve got no plans to; it’s a weekend.

Are you thirsty? No. I can’t ignore thirst as easily as I can ignore hunger. If I need water, I’m finding a way to get it asap.

When's the last time you had cereal? I legitimately have no clue. I think it was August...last year? I might have had cereal in the hotel in Cavite. If not there, it would be the time we were in Vigan, which was in like 2017 or 2018.

Ice cream? Around two weeks ago. I was finishing off the remaining chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream we had in the freezer.

What is your favorite flavor of pop tart? This question is really common in older surveys lol, I now realize. Chocolate fudge.

Gum? Minty or fruity ones will do. I’m not very picky when it comes to gum.

Who was the last person to call you a name? Probably someone at work.

Do you ever threaten to beat people up? I only ever got a serious urge once in sixth grade because these annoying ass classmates had been taunting the shit out of me and were virtually asking to be punched. I almost did until I realized that was going to get me expelled, and the most I did was throw my fist back until I regained my self-control.

Last song you sang along to? An episode of Good Mythical Morning sampled Old Town Road so I sang along.

Are you outgoing? I have moods where I am.

What is one food you hate the smell of? I have always hated the smell of bilo-bilo especially while it’s being boiled. The finished product has never smelled pleasant to me either.

Do people ever call you hateful? Well I’m not, so no.

Do you cuss a lot? When I’m with friends, sure. I know others aren’t too comfortable with excessive swear words, and I don’t have a hard time controlling my mouth so I can handle not cussing.

Do other people's opinions influence your actions? In some contexts, yes. I can be very dependent on others.

Do you care what everyone thinks? This question is so broad. I mean obviously I don’t sit around upset because I can’t read the thoughts of 7 billion people, but I care deeply about people’s opinions on certain topics, like politics and their views on human rights issues.

Do you ever eat cereal in a cup? Maybe as a kid? Idk.

Do you discover new bands daily? No, quite the opposite. I discover new talents like, once every 2-3 years.

What are you listening to now? Just my fan for now. I have a YouTube video paused.

Do you make playlists a lot? Sure.

Do you like AFI? I only know one song of theirs because it was featured on Rock Band, but that’s not enough for me to be able to claim to like them.

Are you immature? I can be very petty if I want to :) :) hahaha

Do you think you've changed in the past year? So much. 2020 was nothing I expected it to be, and not just because of Covid. I’ve changed so much from all the bullshit that’s happened to me this year.

If so, good changes or bad changes? Both.

Do you listen to classic rock? Not really.

Without music, could you live? Yes.

Without your phone? Until the 70s, people didn’t even have phones so I think I’ll survive...I’ll just struggle a lot.

Computer? Yep.

What kind of phone do you have? iPhone 8 that I really want to upgrade.

Do you have a case? Yes. All my phones have needed sturdy cases because I’m pretty much a magnet for breaking stuff.

Would you recommend other people to get this phone? I mean, it’s a great purchase if you're on a budget and are aiming for one of the older iPhones, so sure. But if you’re willing to spend more money, just get the newer iPhone models lol.

Who is your favorite author? I don’t know if I have any.

[dropsofletters]

the language of hate

title: the language of hate pairing: dong sicheng/reader genre: designer!au/assistant!au/enemies to lovers!au summary: dong sicheng wants to work in the fashion industry, so when he sees the opportunity to get hired as the assistant of one of the most respected young women in the business, more specifically a designer, he takes the chance. once he gets to know her, however, he realizes just how much he hates her. little does he know that he would be the one capable of changing that egotistic, narcissistic and stereotypical rich kid into a nice person. genre: fluff/angst. note: you can find the creator of this gif here!

It feels good to be looked at, the wary eyes of people casted over her the moment she steps inside a room, expensive high heels clicking against the marble floor with squeaky clean surfaces that still don’t make her falter her step, always an air of arrogance filling the air with the tilt of her head upwards and a quirk of an eyebrow at most times. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t proud that her name could be found easily in the headlines of news, for it was a memory of how much wealthier she had gotten with her real job, but her family name will always be a boost for her in every situation, yet, she likes to believe that her own independence since her teenage years had brought her to be the woman that she was today…

A little bit over the legal age and ready to take over the world.

She also has a nice ear for rumors, she bathes on them as if they were champagne and she laughs at them like the sound effect of a sitcom, simply because the noise of chatter around her feels like the right amount of attention. Another word, another headline, another zero in her bank account. She wins, even when people want her to lose. It feels vaguely empty to sit late at night without friends as she watches her favorite shows or works on a newest project for her fashion company, but she doesn’t linger too much on that. Call her narcissistic, maybe, but she has learned that her success and her growth as a person is more important than a few friends here and there.

She has had plentiful of assistants, of all genres, races, and sexualities—what’s important is their capability of working well, of course, but the latest one had been lucky enough that she did not take him to jail, considering the numbers in her checks weren’t really correct, and she ended up filling a report on her jewelry that was stolen as she was taken a shower, but she had luckily discovered the man that had robbed from her. She is having a bit of a hard time organizing herself but she manages, assisting to red carpets and fashion shows as much as she can, but also preparing meetings with her staff and working on her newest opening of a store in Los Angeles, which becomes harder as time passes by without an assistant. She keeps a leather covered agenda in her hands as she walks through the seas of people and people wonder why she, out of all people, was alone…but she couldn’t find an assistant that would keep up with her exquisite and picky needs.

She doesn’t mind, maybe not having an assistant will totally ground her and keep her humble, but she, you know, absolutely minds. She doesn’t like the stress that has her constantly living with migraines and now the sound of the lonely mornings at her office or her own sports car (after all, she had grown a bit tired of being driven around by someone since she was a kid) becomes a dull silence that she doesn’t want to stand. No one would believe that the ever-so-known woman would have lonely nights, for everyone would think that she had a few men that she maintained just to fuck her and leave, but she rarely ever likes trusting people too much—let alone lovers. Assistants were the closest people she had to friends but she always cut them off, after all, people only love rich individuals because they are supposedly airheads with too many problems that make them ungrateful.

Surprisingly enough, she can’t live without an assistant and that means she has to host a few interviews to get the perfect individual to work by her side at all times; she’s conceited, barely looking up from the folders that hold their curriculums before swatting her hand as a way of sending them off because they are not even close to what she wants. She needs someone who is able to follow after every single one of her instructions completely and she is very specific about things, like how she likes her coffee and how many clients they had to call in order to have features designers in her fashion shows. All of that without stealing from her, of course.

The sound of someone’s shoes clicking against the floors of her office doesn’t catch her attention, although she recalls the way said person closes the door in a soft thud before returning to their trip towards the seat in front of her. She fixes the pearls that are wrapped around her neck, the sunlight seeping through the spacious windows of her office and casting over the gray, white and black decorations. Once she reads the name of the man she was interviewing, she says it out loud. “Good afternoon, Mr. Dong Sicheng.” She had learnt how to be both charming and scary when speaking. It started out when she got classes when she was a teenager on how to portray charisma and professionalism at the same time, then it delved into her personality. It felt as if she had all the power in the world in the palm of her hands when she did.

“Good afternoon.” His voice is slightly deep and she notices a bit of a smile on his tone, making her look up from her folders to watch the gorgeous man in front of her. From the fabric of his clothes, she can tell it’s not a Versace or Gucci suit but it fits him really well, a black button down underneath a fitted suit with grayish squares on the jacket, making a contrast with his gray tie. The motto of her company was that anyone could look expensive if they tried hard enough and this man looked like he was part of royalty. From his pointy ears to his heart shaped face, his eyebrows were thinner at the beginning and they ended in thickness, eyes starting with a curve downwards before aligning the ends together, his nose is small but a bit quirked to the side, thick lips showcasing a plumper upper lip but a, still, very full bottom lip. Dong Sicheng, it sounds like a name of power and she is enthralled by his looks, to say the least. Just like diamonds, she loved how he shined. “First off, Miss.  I really enjoy your work in the fashion industry, you’re so young and you’ve done a lot of things—”

“Thank you, thank you.” She swats her hand elegantly before moving her hair over her shoulder, showing her long, dangly earrings that showcase her off-the-shoulder fitted shirt. She looks down at his curriculum and then, she sighs. “I can see here, Sicheng, that you recently graduated university in the Fashion Design major.  Why not pursue that on the first place?” The male’s hands are fidgety over his lap and she looks up until her eyelashes are facing upwards, watching as a soft smile grazes his face before returning to being completely serious. Sicheng’s nervousness almost made her chuckle, simply because the man seemed to see a demon in her when in reality, she’s far from that. However, she likes to ask the good questions.

“I worked as an intern for…various companies as I was studying but when I graduated, I wanted to reach something bigger and I heard you needed an assistant.  I feel like you could teach me a lot, so I could later on pursue Fashion Design for myself—”

“I’m not a university graduate, Sicheng, but it’s nice to know that you think so highly of me.” She quirks an eyebrow with a small raise and then, she licks her lipstick covered lips before turning on her chair to the side, crossing one leg over the other and watching Sicheng smile lightly. “So, where do you see yourself in five years?” The typical questions for a job interview are asked in the matter of seconds and Sicheng lets out a soft sigh through his nose, one that meant that he felt relieved that she had told him something that he had prepared for. He was pretty predictable without knowing so, or maybe, he knew.

“Hopefully I’ll be able to launch my own brand by then, but I’d be happy to work with anything fashion related.” Sicheng adds with that sweet beam, one that she would resemble to glass shattering because she has a slight feeling that he is more of a heartthrob that he makes himself out to be. After all, one thing fashion workers or graduates have in common is that they are highly charismatic, hinting to being a bit of a hypocrite, and that comes in handy, but it is also very misleading. She nods her head and she watches his hair for a few seconds, realizing how he had brushed back the neat black strands.

She leans forward, positioning herself better in the seat before crossing her arms over her chest. “Good, that’s ambitious.” Though she doesn’t like competition a lot, she becomes friends with them because she needs to, but she also likes being the best at her work. Like any successful person. “And…tell me a bit about yourself, Sicheng.” She hadn’t gone this far with any of the other people that had applied to her job as her assistant but Sicheng seemed like a legitimately good person and that’s exactly what she wanted. Someone who wouldn’t want to do this simply to add it to a curriculum, but someone who had enough passion for their job to always need to be better.

“Uh…” Sicheng stops to think for a moment as he looks up before replying. “I come from Zhejiang, China but I live here since I became an exchange student.  Like I said, I have worked for other companies, too and—”

She cuts him off, again, testing his patience in the slightest motions, deciding to play with him a little bit to see if he’d fall into her teasing traps. “When were you born?”

Sicheng seems to be put off by her question but then he composes himself, smiling widely. “October 28th, 1997.”

“That makes you a Scorpio, right?” Sicheng nods his head after doubting for a bit and she chuckles for the sake of it, catching him off guard. In his life, he thought that someone as rich as her would consist of smirks and pretentious sayings, but she seemed to be a bit more on the professional side. She clicks her pen with her thumb and she writes down on his folder before speaking up. “I think I can trust a Scorpio, so you’re hired.”

Maybe, she needs to learn how to think about her decisions and plot them as future plans to fulfill and continue, but as expected she only took decisions that she felt like taking at that moment and life needs to be a little bit more planned in order to stop herself from disappointments. Sicheng gave her a nice vibe, a hunch that told her he needed a chance…or, she was already too tired of interviewing other people. The black haired man widens his eyes and he parts his lips. “Really?”

“Really.” She answers simply and then; she closes the folder with a loud thud before smiling a tight lipped smile. “I expect you to be here tomorrow at seven in the morning, organize everything for me, from meetings to schedules, you’ll also be following me around.” She stands up from her seat and Sicheng follows her step, walking slowly beside her and soon after, she can tell that he is a bit taller than what she had imagined. The sound of her heels is heavy as she opens the door and Sicheng stands outside, weary as she closes the door. She speaks over her shoulder. “I expect a lot from you, Sicheng.”

“I won’t disappoint!”

One last glance at him is given, fixing her sunglasses over the bridge of her nose before sending a small smile his way. Sicheng shows enthusiasm and she hasn’t had that in a long time, if ever, so she is more than excited to know that there is still a bit of that in this world. The last time she saw such passion for working was when she met her first nanny out of many, someone who truly wanted to take care of her instead of robbing her family behind everyone’s back. People like that always grow, always leave, but it is nice to have them around. Good things are not forever but she believes in the power of money to make people stay, after all: she has whatever she wants. “I hope you won’t.”

With those words, she turns around and continues walking towards her next meeting, eager to know that she won’t have to do everything on her own ever again.

The organization of a fashion show is always the hardest task a designer has to go through, much more if you are the creative mind in your team. Luckily, there are people that have the job of preparing everything from the decorations to sending the invitations to selling tickets to enter, but she is stressed out because her spring collection is about to launch and she needs to give a speech at the end of the runway show. She doesn’t show how nervous she is, though, it was only the morning and no one had arrived to the arena other than the staff and some of the photographers that worked for magazines and wanted to show a rawer version of the show. She is not wearing the outfit she is going to wear for the gala, but she looked spotless with the tight high-waisted pants that almost reached her ribcage and the gray turtleneck that she had tucked inside the pants. Her voice is loud even though she should be elegant, delicate and sweet as a flower—no, as honey! However, she is bossing everyone around and trying to make everything look perfect. Spring needed flowers and of course, she had gone for that but she had asked her decorations to be entirely based on orange and yellow marigolds. She wanted a pop of color and cherry blossoms were very overused lately so she was going one step forward. Classy, springy and definitely not done before.

 It’s simple—designers love to say they are unique, but unique is already a concept. She wants to go for done-before but with a hint of her way.

Still, there is a heaviness to her step and she doesn’t move as fast as she should for a reason, simply because she hears the steps of a man following after everything she does, he also goes anywhere she goes and she can’t help but silently squeal at her newest assistant. He had arrived earlier than she had told him to and luckily, he had gotten her tea order right—she’d go for coffee but it was too caffeinated and not so elegant, as well as not the best option when under stress. Sicheng tries to do his best, like the newest star added to the universe that wanted to get a spot in space, he wanted to be named, remembered and whatever else he had spoken about. He also catches the glances of a few people, mainly because he was her new assistant but also because he looked like the epitome of a model. His black hair was a little bit wet today, probably because he had washed it before going to work, his body decorated by a tight black sweater and some washed jeans. It was casual, yet she knew that the beauty of it came from the person who wore it.

She hears loud chatter from somewhere in the room, technically on top of the runway as the models practiced the way they were going to walk and at what time they will. She crosses her arms over her chest and she watches the instructor scream at one of the girls, the shortest one who had a bit of a hard time wearing the highest high heels she has ever seen. Maybe they had added insoles inside the knee high boots and that was why the model is having such a hard time. Sicheng is speaking to her but she cuts him off. Per usual, really. “Boss, we have already called the catering service and they’re going to deliver just what you wanted, but they’re asking if you want any alcohol or you just want to keep the orange juice—”

“Champagne and hush.” She tells him as she continues staring ahead, pressing the back of her hand to his chest to stop him from speaking and she hears the instructor speak louder. It seems like he had a thing for picking at the short girl, whose name she truly doesn’t know, but she had always been very open about the variety in the models that she hires. A higher spectrum of people could reach for her brand if she showed that everyone could wear it, which was true, so she has always loved that aspect of her work. She sucks on the lollipop that she had in between her lips (always being the woman who needed sugar to function better) and then, she releases it from her lips. “Marcelo, is there any problem with my model?!”

Marcelo, the best model coach that she has ever had, turns around thanks to his expensive shoes (“Not over a hundred dollars, just very shiny”, she thinks to herself.) and he shows her a charismatic smile, almost too sugarcoated…and she likes sugar a lot, but this is just the most obnoxious amount. “Oh, Miss, no, no!” He swats his hand romantically, like a flamenco dance that came directly from Spain and she raises her eyebrows, crossing her arms over her chest before tilting her head to the side. “I was just telling our model, Bori, that she needed to wear those high heels because she is twenty centimeters under the normal height of a model.” And he laughs, as if she could understand, as if it was a matter of laughing. She sends him a tight lipped smile, one that made Marcelo believe that he was on the right and she gives a few steps forward, her high heels clicking against the floor like always before she looks up at Bori, the model who seemed to be shaking by now. Sharp gaze. Nice lips. Moles around her face. Short, sure, but gorgeous.

“She’s beautiful.”

“A tad short, I’d say.” Marcelo adds in between his incessant laugh. Obnoxious, like him. All she can do is nod.

“But she could totally wear the flats that I added to my collection, the gold ones.  It contrasts with the skirt that she is wearing.” She replies mercilessly and Bori might think she has seen God when she heard those words, smiling weakly at the owner of the brand before she hears Marcelo’s laugh coming to a halt. “You see, Marcelo, I’m the one who makes the decisions here and knee high boots with that skirt look terrible.”

Marcelo differs from her opinion, though. “Miss, the designers and critics will go crazy if they see the height difference between the models.” His voice is shaky and he tries to convince her by placing one of his hands over her shoulder. The owner of the brand places her lollipop in between her lips, looks up at the tall ex-model with simplicity, no fear even added, she’s confident of her decision. “H-Hear me out—!”

“Don’t have time.” The sound of her voice makes someone laugh in the room and she turns in her heels to see that Sicheng is covering the sweet smile over his face, but Marcelo tries to talk to her and she has to continue with her step instead of faltering. Sicheng’s smile is like cotton candy and she can’t help but think that the man would look beautiful if he wore a bit of pink in his clothes, it’s a honeyed color that reminded her of him. Once she stands in front of him, she raises one eyebrow but she manages to return his smile. “What are you laughing about?”

Sicheng shakes his head, immediately getting serious as he looks down at the agenda that he needs to carry around everywhere. “N-Nothing, Boss.”

She can tell that Sicheng keeps a barrier in between the two, he doesn’t try to go out of his way to become her friend and he is naturally very respectful and charming. Her lips wrap around the lollipop once again and then, she wonders how rosy Sicheng’s lips would get if he had one, too, but instead of lingering on the fact that her assistant is very attractive, she should continue with her work. “Tell the catering that I need champagne, rosy is better, but also remember to call the bartenders, I need them here in four hours at maximum.”

Sicheng nods in agreement and he goes to pick up his phone but he sees her smiling to herself, making him speak up. “Do you want anything else, Boss?”

Her elegance reminded him of a true queen of hearts, always ready for her next move, for winning, so deadly yet so beautiful to the point he finds himself impressed by her, but at the same time her constant interrupting and overall over-confidence annoys him. Sicheng has heard about her for years, always knowing that she is one of the most youthful designers in the entire industry that had been able to keep their names up high in the magazines, which only lets Sicheng know that there are not two of her. She can’t be compared to anyone. “Nothing for now, Sicheng, thank you for your hard work.” She takes him by the collar of his shirt and she drags him behind her as they walk to another side of the arena and she can’t help but feel like she has a new friend.

But friends to her don’t really exist, yet, she’ll be able to have someone to protect her in the meantime. Her inner strength is always able to push people away so it gets lonely for her, but having someone that brought her coffee and helped her in her workaholic ways was more than enough. Surely, some people would say that her lifestyle was only a way of covering just how deeply immersed she is in pushing people out of her life, whether they are her family or her friends, but they truly don’t know a thing. She had her fair exchange of reckless memories of doing just what rich kids did, but now it was time to overgrow the family name that follows her everywhere.

Sicheng’s voice fills her ears as she watches the staff working on the lights that will cast over the arena and she raises her voice. “I want my microphone to be working perfectly for when I speak.”

“You got it, Boss!”

“Where’s my lunch, too?!  Someone bring it to me, please.”

Sicheng leans over her and he speaks near her ear, though she doesn’t want to show just how affected she was by the closeness of his body and the scent of his expensive perfume, maybe not as expensive as hers, though. “Do you want me to take care of that, Boss?” His tone of voice makes her turn around and she catches him off guard, making him stumble back and almost bump into someone, but he catches his step.

“Don’t worry.  You’re the one who’s having lunch with me.” She replies easily with a swat of her hand and then, she sees the bewilderment in Sicheng’s gaze.

“Pardon?” Sicheng almost chokes on his own spit when he speaks and she hums. In the matter of seconds, she feels someone placing a Styrofoam box filled with her favorite lunch to have, with a bit of a healthy twist, made by the chef that works for her. It’s microwaved but she really doesn’t mind, Sicheng also receives a box and he shakes his head. “Boss, thank you, but I really have to keep working.  I still need to call those guests that you told me to see if they’re coming or not and I have to see if some paparazzi can come over, too—”

She tuts. “Have you eaten, Sicheng?”

The black haired male responds easily. “No.”

“Then, we’re eating together. No buts, you’ll have the best food you’ve ever had in your life.”

And Sicheng must be enjoying his food as they sit backstage, the white leather of the couch they are eating on warm against her legs even when the room is cold. His plump lips wrap around the chopsticks in his hands and he eats the warm meal delicately, not saying a word throughout the entirety of their minutes together. Sicheng is a man of his job, he only wants to talk whenever he needs to and he wants to do his job really well and it’s stupid of her to think that her assistants should be people that she needs to be friends with, maybe that’s why most of them end up backstabbing her. She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear and she watches Sicheng carefully, realizing that he has a bit of a blinking habit that he would never admit and that, potentially, he thought that his boss was weird because she wanted to have someone to accompany her when she was having lunch. Her excuse is that she is stressed out and it’s a welcoming action for him, perhaps he should be thankful of her.

She gets the time to look at the way his eyes flutter and she thinks that behind his eyes, there is the humbleness that she has never lived. Sicheng reminds her of vintage cars, baggy cheap t-shirts and definitely, the sweet sound of laughter from someone shy in a big group of friends, it fits the mood—he fits the mold of a person who had spent his university years enjoying his life, whereas she only lived her life acting like the reckless piece of shit that she considered herself to be. Sicheng is not a thick wall of coldness and smirks, he is simply a person who tries his most, always. It inspires her, but at the same time she finds herself in awe that he can give such an aura…he’s calming, he’s soft, he’s tranquil, but people like that are the ones who surprise everyone the most when they needed to.

And she’s surprised, secretly, but the organization Sicheng has is obviously showing in his antics, even when he is clumsy at times…but his clumsiness was one of his few weaknesses.

“Oh, you finished?” Sicheng asks as he highlights a few things in her agenda, looking up at her to see that she was playing with her chopsticks, nodding her head before he picked up the box and put it to the side before patting his hands over his pants. He was probably trying to answer yet another call. “Excuse me, it’s from one of the sponsors—”

“Yeah, go ahead.” She mumbles and then, she stands up, straightening her back and walking out of the spacious room backstage before entering the arena. It was big, probably for concerts, but she had always thought that she either had to go big or go home and her home was already big, so she had to do even better. The moment one of the lights stops over her, she feels like this might be the night she had dreamt about the latest months. Her spring collection was something she was proud of and no matter how lonely she was, she was making a name for herself, a well-known one, too.

Her family was often rumored to have gotten their wealth because of drug dealing and while she can’t speak for some of her cousins, she knows that her closest family are just the consequence of years working in the entertainment industry, from actors to actresses, to musicians and producers, everyone had something to do with music but her. She hadn’t asked anyone if they were against it, she simply followed her dream of creating art in the form of clothing, fabrics, textiles and whatever was in between. Sure, she wasn’t specialized in it but once her life settled down a bit, she might go to university, see what’s good about it for once…she used to like studying when she was a kid, but then she grew to hate it.

People gather around late at night like paintings in a gallery, the same ones that she buys whenever she has time to shop around in museums or talk directly to the artists. The marigolds are standing up and shining with the flashes from the cameras, but she is more preoccupied on greeting everyone after the show that she had put up and her speech. Sicheng is behind her, reminding her who every person was and what they were doing her, enlightening her mind with who were the sponsors or not. Her left hand is gripping on a glass of orange juice because she had already had champagne and she wants to keep herself sober just to keep a bit of her consciousness of that precious night, one that she might remember forever. And she looks good, she looks damned good.

The long coat she is wearing reaches her ankles, big squares separating the jacket in four colors, going from cream to beige, then to pastel pink and hot pink. Underneath the long coat, she is wearing a tight black dress that hugs her curves nicely, ending mid-thigh and showcasing the opening at her leg with gold decorations, her platforms with decorations were also from her line. Sicheng is still wearing the same clothes as early but she thinks that the man looks gorgeous even after hours of working non-stop. His hand grips her wrist whenever he needs to remind her something and it’s a habit, but she doesn’t consider it bad, if she was honest.

The night was a reminder of the fact that she was a big influencer and she was happy about it, the attention that she always liked getting—that is. However, her eyes widen and her expression falters a bit when she sees the figure of her latest hook up…and he was holding hands with his oldest toy, his girlfriend, the same one he had cheated on with her.

Kim Hanbin is a nice, intelligent man. He is a producer and a rapper, a very excellent one, too, but she always had a thing for greediness and she liked the man ever since he wore one of her clothes to his airport whereabouts. She hadn’t investigated enough about him when she had asked her old assistant to contact the man because she wanted to make him one of the many faces of her brand. Hanbin’s manager had obviously accepted, but as Hanbin frequented more and more of her shows…she got to know more of him, as the owner of the clothing line that she has. The talks were languid and she loved the way the man spoke, the tone of his voice, how he would whisper to her and act as if they were friends. It was partly her fault for wanting to be more but Hanbin could have also mentioned that he had a girlfriend.

And that was a year ago, but she had never been one to go around reading news about the dating lives of stars, but she should have when she started frequenting Hanbin’s touring spots before she ended up with him in between her legs in Milan, out of all places. It wasn’t a surprise when the man had come around telling her that he couldn’t be around her anymore, crying that he shouldn’t have done what he did as she put on her clothes, realizing that maybe there was something that the ever-so-cool Kim Hanbin was hiding, in this case it was a relationship…one that had faltered that week and he thought that cheating was the best way on getting revenge, which obviously it wasn’t and she had sent him to hell after that.

She had made a lot of bad decisions but she is not a companion, she’s not a side dish, she wanted to be the center of Hanbin’s world but it was impossible. It’s a lie that she kept from everyone but she can’t believe that she had forgotten to take him out of her list of guest.

She grips Sicheng’s bicep and she brings him closer to her, looking up at him to speak closely to him before rasping out words that sounded nothing like herself. “I want Kim Hanbin the fuck away from here.” It didn’t help that Hanbin is wearing a shirt from her latest winter collection and it looks good on him. Her heart was untouchable for him, but she can’t help but feel like a slut when she sees the smile on his girlfriend’s face.

Sicheng, sadly, denies with his head before looking down at his agenda. “Hanbin…Hanbin was invited since two months ago.” The sound of his voice is still a bit dubitative but he manages to rasp out his next words. “We can’t kick him out, no one in here unless they cause a ruckus.”

Now, she didn’t like the fact that her assistant was unwilling to do something she wanted so she frowned, letting go of him before wiping her hand on her coat. “See, Sicheng, that man right there fucked me over and then I left him, I don’t want him near me.”

He doesn’t seem to be fooled by her gaze and she sighs deeply before continuing with her walk. New York is packed that night, though she should have drunk coffee even if she thinks it’s not classy, simply because she is running low on energy after working on the launch of her new store, then attending New York Fashion Week and finally hosting said event that soon turned into a party. The sound of her steps is heavy and she smiles warmly at one of the fellow designers, holding their hands and talking for a bit before she heard Sicheng speaking again. “This may offend you…but I find it unprofessional of you to want to kick someone out because you hooked up with someone. He’s one of the faces of your brand, no one knows about your encounter with him, you should just let it go, Boss.” And of course, there goes the snappy part of Dong Sicheng that she knew he had. She turns around and she grips the sides of her coat, rolling her eyes slightly before giving him a tight lipped smile that was followed by a sigh through her nose.

“You’re wrong.” She replies and then, she bites her bottom lip. “I’m the face of this brand, the creator of this line, one of the biggest influencers of this year and people know that I have great ideas. One of my many great ideas include that I should keep you, because no one has ever been brave enough to talk to me like that, but the second idea…more like a command, Sicheng, is that I want Hanbin out of this damned launch.”

 Sicheng presses his lips together and he gets his agenda out before licking his lips. She knows he is thinking of an idea but she has never seen someone as snappy as him. Sure, he is being the epitome of professional but inside her head there is not anyone more intelligent than her, more prepared than her, she knows what she is doing—not at all times, but most of them. “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“That’s a bad start for your first day, Sicheng—”

“I’m willing to help you out in the best way that I can.”

“And how would that be?”

“I’ll ask security to keep him fifteen meters away from you at all times, away from your eyesight.  Is that okay with you?”

She puts on her pair of thin sunglasses and she shrugs her shoulders, turning around and walking towards another guest before speaking to him over the music. “Sounds fair, Sicheng.”

When in reality, the man behind her sighed heavily as he wondered how in the hell he had decided to pick this job. He did enjoy her clothing line but she was the epitome of the devil, always thinking that she was right, that there was not anyone in this world that could be better than her, her ego taking up three rows of the arena whenever she spoke. Sicheng thinks that maybe the fashion industry was far worse than people thought it was but he liked it, still, maybe he keeps being there because this will bring some luxury to his future jobs and perhaps, someday he’ll be the boss instead of being the one bossed around.

But for now, he has to talk to security.

His boss is not exactly the most festive in the mornings.

She loves her black tea served from her favorite tea place exactly at five in the morning, because no matter how high maintenance she was, she still needed to get up early to do everything she wanted to do. She is back in Seoul now, in her real office and preparing for other things to do, mainly helping smaller lines with their launches now that hers had been such a success. It’s not like she didn’t expect it and Sicheng knows it by the way she smiles at herself and brags about her importance in the fashion industry. Inside her head, she is the only one who can put out nice clothing…that there is no one that compared to her and surely, the man is annoyed by it but he is pretty much cold to her, never saying anything that he shouldn’t say but once she was talking about work, he is ready to put his opinion out there.

As a matter of fact, Sicheng dislikes his boss, which is very obvious. She wants to make a friend out of him but he can’t stand people like her. He needed to be her assistant in order to be more well-known, that’s it, end of story, plot finished. People could wonder who the man by her right is, then he could potentially start showing his designs to the world and maybe, if she wasn’t so blind about everyone’s works, then she would notice that he has talent, too.

It was a quarter after five when he arrives with bags under his eyes, her cup of chai tea—Sicheng has learnt more about tea with her than with anyone else—and his agenda, of course. He enters the big mansion in which she lives at and he calls her by the honorific that he normally uses, Boss, although he doesn’t receive an answer first. Sicheng walks further into the house before passing by the spacious living room with collections of furniture and decorations that highlight the colors of gray and white that she uses as a color scheme around her house. Sicheng peaks his head in the kitchen but he only finds her chef, which he greets with a smile and a wave of his hand before walking further into the house. She has many bedrooms but he knew that she is going to be at the gym inside her house, probably working out for the day.

She has to be quick when working out and she doesn’t like to do anything too extreme before work and without a trainer, so she goes for something easy like Pilates or Yoga. Even Sicheng does some stretching early in the morning but he thinks that his boss is not quite the best at it, always doing her stretches in the easiest way possible. The man enters the gym and he watches her stretching in front of the mirror, wearing the most expensive workout clothes he had ever seen. That morning she is wearing a crop top with a sports bra underneath and a pair of baggy shorts, which had been the most casual that he has ever seen her look but he really shouldn’t be watching her now, she’s trying to touch the tip of her toes and her back is turned towards him and—

Sicheng doesn’t really want to be caught looking at his boss’—and potentially the person he hates the most—ass.

But it’s there. Sicheng has eyes…and she is not bad looking, quite clearly.

“Boss, good morning.” Sicheng greets simply and he sees her straightening her back, looking over her shoulder as she gives him a small wave, then, she is turning around and placing one of her hands over her waist before extending the other, which her assistant takes as a cue to give her the chai tea. “So…” Sicheng tries to read over the words he wrote down but sometimes he has a bit of a hard time with it, considering he has to read emails in various languages and his boss has the time to help him translate sometimes, but other times he is completely lost. “You’re going to be looking at some designs that Krystal prepared for you, for the expansion of the spring launch that you planned on making.”

“What did she say it was about?” She asks after taking a sip of her tea and Sicheng looks up from the piece of paper before speaking up. Of course, she is going to say something about Krystal’s work.

“All black, casual—”

She scrunches up her nose, shaking her head as she clicks her tongue. “Oh, that’s not it!  That’s…ew, no, we’re not going to release that—”

Sicheng sighs deeply, already knowing that she was going to talk like that about Krystal’s idea. “Your clothing line had lots of color but we need something duller, something people our age can use to feel expensive but at the same time feel comfortable.” Sicheng explains with a frown over his face but she doesn’t notice that it was because her assistant didn’t like her tone, her attitude or her big ego. “The clothes are…like what you picked and designed for the runway, not the same…they are different, but they are also good.”

“I’m not releasing stuff that I’d wear to sleep.”

“Most people are into hoodies, t-shirts or anything comfortable nowadays.  Not everyone dresses like you, Boss.” Sicheng replies and she takes a look at his lips, though she has only seen him smile so little, she has a thing for Sicheng’s smile ever since he started working for her a month ago.

She sighs. “Yeah, whatever, I guess.”

Sicheng feels a little bit of mischief trailing over his body the moment he sees her lips wrapped around the corner of the cup to drink her tea, so he looks down at one of the messages he had written down before clearing his throat. Oh, this was going to be great. “Also, Kim Hanbin sent you roses to your office.”

Those words almost make her gasp, but she always has to keep up a front, a sense of elegance, as if she doesn’t care, so she simply raised an eyebrow before walking towards the door of the gym to walk away to her kitchen to eat something. “Burn them or keep them, it’s your choice, they’re yours now.”

The man lets out a soft breath when he hears those words and she can’t help but smile at his dumbfound expression. “Excuse me?  I didn’t understand.”

She turns around, a smile on her face when she replies. “You deserve roses more than I do, Sicheng.  Keep them.”

And he hates her even more when she is nice to him, as if there was actually some interest within her to help him. Sicheng nods his head, deciding that maybe keeping the roses would be better than burning them, but he still doesn’t believe in his boss—not even the tiniest bit.

Her cup of tea is at the same spot over her black desk, that picture with her first runway participation shining brightly as it faced the tall door of her office. The curtains of the office are withdrawn to show the harsh sun of the time of the day where the afternoon and the morning collide, her hands are still tapping against her keyboard to answer to another email and she is starting to feel a bit hungry, but she decides to ignore it to complete yet another email to send, reminding herself that the next day she had an interview to attend to and a photoshoot after that—luckily, or not so luckily for her, there were plenty of events she had yet to attend: from red carpets to fashion shows to shows about fashion in which she had to criticize people, but in the nicest way that had people wanting to try harder with their outfits just to have her judging them. There were plenty of things to do but she didn’t seem bothered, at least not completely, she still had Sicheng to organize everything and she just had to show up there.

Speaking of the man Sicheng, he is not there with her to accompany her. Normally, she liked it when her workers got breaks at lunch because she had some time to listen to the sound of tranquility and the latest album of one of her favorite artists, but no interesting music had been released and Sicheng is at least fifteen minutes late from his lunch break and she really doesn’t want to give him a call, but she should. Her fingers tug at the edge of her black dress and she feels a bit useless because she had listened to Sicheng’s fashion advice and now she was wearing an all-black outfit, the long sleeved dress hugging her curves lightly and highlighting her waist with a gold thick belt that wrapped around it, giving her a bit more of shape to show. She should really be wearing something more interesting but she had to portray her next release and Krystal’s idea had been approved because Sicheng made a lot of points—it was easy to match, easy to wear and definitely something someone with a nine to five work could style.

And she doesn’t know how that feels…since she has always worn very expensive clothing, but so Sicheng explains that she needs to be more open to ideas, letting her designers work along with her so she could reach bigger expanses with her work. She’s against it…but black looks good on her and she might as well take this opportunity to match with Sicheng’s casual monochrome style.

Her fingers reach for her phone as she stands up, already tired of waiting for Sicheng because he should be there and she needs help recognizing some of the people that had written to her through her email, so she presses his contact on her phone and as she walks out of her office, she puts her phone up to her ear to give Sicheng an earful, but she is surprised when she hears the sound of Sicheng’s ringtone filling the air of the cubicles outside of her office. The secretary seems unfazed by the look on her face but she is more than angry because Sicheng is standing at the office with someone she doesn’t know, certainly not one of her workers and she accepts visits during lunchtime, but not exactly after that.

Sicheng’s body is covered by a button up with black dots and a white background, tucked inside his black jeans and making him look casual yet ready to go to work. His hair was barely brushed away from his eyes by his hands as he heard the man in front of him speak, definitely in Mandarin, and by the way he looked down at his phone he was planning on picking up her call but she cut it before he could pick up. She walks over to them, definitely taking a glance at the man whom he was talking to, very cute looking but the white t-shirt and jeans combo was too much like what a college student would wear and she’s not used to that look.

Her manicured nails let one finger after the other down on Sicheng’s shoulder and the man seems to stiffen at her touch, looking over his shoulder to see that his boss was there with a soft smile over her face. The man that had been talking to Sicheng stops in his tracks and she takes that as a cue to speak. “Hello, I didn’t know Sicheng was bringing a friend with him—”

Sicheng shakes his head and he babbles out an apology. “I’m sorry, Boss.  I didn’t mean to get here late but I lost track of time and I was helping him with directions because he is not good with-”

She moves her eyelashes softly and she shakes her head, though she can already sense that Sicheng is stressing out. Highly responsible and intelligent, that’s the best way she would describe Sicheng but he panics when he thinks he will disappoint her, perhaps not because he cares about her but he cares about what she thinks. “I like it, don’t worry.  It’s always a pleasure to have people here.” She tells him through a smile and Sicheng’s friend seemed uncomfortable as he fiddled with his hands and she tried to ease the situation by telling him her name. “…I’m the owner of this company, Sicheng’s boss. Who do I have the pleasure to meet?” By the flirty tone of her words, always lingering in between her vocal chords, she could see a blush spreading across the man’s cheeks and he extended his hand for her to take.

“Qian Kun.” The young man says with a smile on his face and she takes his hand, bowing slightly just as he did before pulling away. “I’m sorry I caused Sicheng any trouble-” And he did cause Sicheng some trouble and inside her head, she is already planning a list of very detailed, picky orders that Sicheng had to follow, like asking for Caesar salad only to take the lettuce out of it and she enjoys to see the groggy expression on his face whenever she touches certain nerves inside his brain.

“Trouble?  Yes, you caused just that.” She adds in the sweetest tone she could muster but then, she smiles sweetly. “But I’m so glad to meet you—Sicheng never talks about his life outside of work.”

“That’s because it’s none of your business.” Sicheng mumbles softly and she catches what he said, so she decides to straighten her back and have the last laugh in the situation.

She moves her hair over her shoulder and she grips on her diamond choker before shrugging her shoulders. “I would love to keep talking to you, Kun, but if Sicheng plans on keeping his job, he needs to do more than just looking cute beside me so,” Kun widens his eyes the moment he hears those words escaping her lips, both brave and offensive but also a compliment at the same time, she fixes the belt around her waist before she tapped her finger against Sicheng’s temple, catching the male’s attention as he mumbles something to Kun in Mandarin. Suddenly, when she starts walking towards her office, she hears the sound of Sicheng following behind her and she would smile if only she wasn’t as prideful as she was. That’s the main reason why most of her relationships ended, she’s always better, always ready for the next step. “I’m not a crazy boss.”

Sicheng clears his throat, shocking in his saliva and coughing soon after. “E-Excuse me?”

“I understand Mandarin and you called me crazy.”

Sicheng looks like a deer caught in the headlights, fingers gripping his agenda tightly in his hands as he bows by her side, directly turned towards her to show just how sorry he was. “Boss, I am so deeply sorry—I didn’t mean to offend you, I was just mad-”

She interrupts him. “…Okay.” She breathes out, words lingering with acceptance as she drops her hands to the side of her body. Sicheng has noticed just how gorgeous she is, through the thick layers of arrogance and rich kid vibe, she simply puts on anything and she looks like she came out of the classiest magazine—and she thinks it through, she knows what looks best on her and what’s the worst option. Sicheng can’t help but let his eyes trail down her chest whenever she wears a low cut dress or sometimes he is simply astonished by the color of her lips, he had heard once that people get attracted to opposites and physically, Sicheng feels like she is a whole another woman that he would love to go out on a date with, if she starts speaking…that’s a whole another deal. “Now do something for me.”

“Whatever you want, Boss.”

“Call my second manager, Yesung, and tell him that his break is over.  I need him to get here as soon as possible.”

“Yes, of course.”

And that’s when the fun is over, simply because she liked Sicheng best when he did what she told him to…but what was the fun in that?

It’s not rare to hear the sound of music in her house, this time it was a jazzy lo-fi hip hop track that had her walking barefoot around her big closet. There are coats hung on hangers neatly in various places, the room even bigger than Sicheng’s bedroom back at home, with hundreds of shoes and shirts, a place in which she keeps her most worn clothes and a few drawers in which she has her very expensive satin pajamas. There is a big mirror in the middle of the room with lights perfect for a photoshoot and she stands in front of it when she is looking at her outfit, but tonight she was simply sitting in front of it, taking the makeup wipe she had in her hand to take off all her makeup while Sicheng was standing by the side, arms crossed over his chest as he looked at his boss. She looked the simplest he had ever seen her, with gray sporty leggings covering her legs and a flowy white top that was the tiniest bit see-through, just enough for him to realize that she was wearing a sports bra and she must have been planning on lounging around for the time being.

She looks peaceful when she is not speaking highly of everything she does, eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks when she goes to take off her mascara, her makeup smudges a bit with the makeup wipe but then it is gone with another swipe of the same material. The song changes and she can’t help but swing a little bit from side to side, still noticing the gaze of her assistant over her. She likes it, like she had said, she had always liked people’s attention but by the look on his face, she knew that he was totally judging her. This wasn’t the type of woman Sicheng would like—he preferred them humble and sweet, kind and cute, with so much innocence that it almost seemed fake and she wasn’t any of that. Strangely enough, she finds herself a bit astonished by the type of life Sicheng lives.

He wakes up earlier than her, he goes home later than her, too because he has to keep being with her even after work hours and then again, he still had friends. Sicheng was nice to the chef, to the cleaning lady, but he had never been nice to her. Sometimes she catches him laughing along with Yesung or simply listening to the stories the receptionist says…but he is never like that with her. She can’t help but throw her makeup wipe to the trashcan with a sigh, wondering if the closest thing she has ever had for friends were the kiss-ups that she dared to call friends when she was younger.

“Sicheng,” The sound of her voice startles him but he hums almost immediately, making her stand up as she looks at herself in the mirror. Makeup-less, the closest thing to a simple outfit she’ll ever get even when everything was expensive, the newest phone on the market by her side and a counter behind her where she has had the most luxurious, joyous and lustful adventures with the most well-known models, actors and producers and whatever there was in between. Kim Hanbin and Lee Minhyuk were people that had visited that closet, they were people that she once considered friends and yet, the only thing they did was touch her skin and call her beautiful, suck up to anything she had superficially before showing her their true colors. One of them was a cheater, the other was just as much of an asshole as she was and that was the truth. “What does it feel like to have friends?”

Sicheng frowns and it almost too cliché, how a rich kid like her felt lonely…when in reality, they were the ones who could find friends the easiest. He doesn’t understand why rich people think they need something else when they already have it all, but he answers, simply because she is his boss and he needs the paycheck that she gives him every week. “I don’t know.  It feels nice, you have someone to talk to.”

She scoffs. “You can talk to anyone.” Maybe Sicheng didn’t know as much about real friendship as she thought he did, but Sicheng begs to differ, speaking up as he plays with one of the coats by the hangers in the white room.

“They listen to your problems and they help you out with them.  They’re…honest and they make you laugh.” She frowns deeply at the sound of his words, simply because she is used to another terminology for friends. Friends like Hanbin, the guy whom she had travelled the world with only to be lied straight to her face—then, he wasn’t honest and not being honest was not being a friend. Friends like Minhyuk, who did everything in his willpower to bend her over any surface and she loved it, but he never listened to her problems and she never listened to his—they just talked about what they had and what they wanted to do to each other, so that wasn’t friendship. Friends like the ones she had, simple getaways for her to feel less lonely but not sincere in the long run.

A person that listens to her problems and they help her out with them, just like Sicheng, who woke up at five in the morning to be at her mansion in time and did everything in his willpower to make her happy, even if it was for a paycheck. Someone who is honest and tells her when her ideas are too closed down, just like Sicheng, who always told her what he thought was right and what was wrong with a frown over his face. Someone who makes her laugh…and that Sicheng does, too, simply because there are times where his absentminded cuteness gets to her… “You do all those things.”

“…Huh?”

“You’re my friend, then, because you do all those things for me.”

Sicheng wants to say that he is not friends with her, that he hates her enough to make himself gag whenever he thinks about her stuck up personality, but at the same time he can sense that there is a lost look in her face. Sicheng doesn’t answer, instead, he replies lowly. “Not…exactly, that’s not how it works.” Sicheng adds with simplicity and she turns around to look at it, placing one foot over the other to rub them together and create some heat. Their eyes connect and she can see a bit of a gush of pink over Sicheng’s cheeks, reminding her of one of her favorite colors. She raises one eyebrow and then, she rests her left hand over his waist before patting it softly.

“We could never be friends anyways.”

“Glad you know it.” Sicheng adds with a harsh expression over his face as he watches her walk out of the walk-in closet, making him roll his eyes as he trails behind her. Once they are inside her room, he catches with his gaze her body plopping down on her bed as she covers herself with the blankets, making Sicheng sigh out of happiness. “Boss, can I leave?”

She ponders for a moment and she flutters her eyelashes delicately before calling him over with several flicks of her index finger towards herself. Sicheng stands by the side of her bed as he hums for her to talk, but she opts to look into his eyes before wrapping her fingers around his wrist and she brings him down slightly, their gazes connecting with one another as she rolls her lips in a simple request. “Bring me a glass of water, please.”

“Sparkly or regular?” Sicheng asks in a tired tone and she responds the same as always, the answer that he already knew—cold water with two ice cubes, the glass should be halfway filled in because if she drinks too much before bed, she will have to get up to go to the bathroom several times. Sicheng knows enough about his boss to contemplate if the two are closer to being friends than he really thought, but he leaves the room with a nod of his head before he could think any more about it.

Looking at Sicheng and exchanging glances with him feel like long hours, or maybe it is because her gaze would always end up upon his as she takes pictures for a magazine interview, trying her best to look classy in the set…even though she was never one that enjoyed most of the pictures that were taken of her, mostly because she was picky about them. Sicheng seemed to laugh at her at times, by the way his lips twitched and how his cheeks would get fluffier whenever she gave another pose to the camera. Suddenly, she feels a little bit naked under the gaze of her assistant and she had never felt this shy, but strangely enough…she likes the way Sicheng is honest to her and while she would like to believe that it is not, she feels ridiculous in front of a big lens posing for a magazine in which she lied to every question that the interviewer had asked her.

She feels a pair of hands placing a fluffy coat over her shoulders as she is looking at the screen with her pictures and she is talking to the photographer about how she wanted some things fixed, like the colors and whatnot, she also asked for some of them to be deleted. Her fingers wrap around a cup that Sicheng gives her and she knows it’s her tea, making her drink it softly as she warms up at the taste of it. Sicheng’s hands are still placed by her shoulder to keep the coat in place and for a moment, she is lost in the smell of Sicheng’s clothes and how soft his skin was against hers by her side. She has had plenty of people in the same position as Sicheng and some of them in even wilder ones, but she loves the warmth that comes with Sicheng naturally.

Sicheng is not a night in Paris filled with lust, Sicheng is less than that and it feels more comforting. Sicheng is not the fabric of expensive clothing of overly used trends, he is the sense of authenticity. She wants to keep Sicheng longer than she would like to admit and when she finishes talking to the photographer, she looks over her shoulder to see Sicheng’s gaze over the screen, scanning her pictures before he pointed at one of them, specifically one that she disliked. “Don’t delete that one.”

“Why?” She asks, wanting to hear a compliment from his lips because she never gets them. Sicheng looks at her and then, he notices just how close the two were from one another. Sicheng pulls away from her with a blush dusting his cheeks in rose gold tones before he cleared his throat. “My dress looks like it’s bundled up.”

“But you look natural.  You look bossy, which you are.” Those words make her laugh as she raises her eyebrows, the photographer laughing along with her at the innocence behind Sicheng’s words. “And you also look very beautiful.” Sicheng moves his mouth absentmindedly and she notices the way he bites his bottom lip when he gets to look at her legs in the picture, she takes a glance at him and then, she realizes that not every single feeling that Sicheng had towards her were of hatred. She could see him falling for her if only they weren’t boss and worker, but that’s incredibly impossible to happen between the two.

She hums. “Keep the picture, Minho, I want it.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She takes Sicheng by his tie and she pulls him with her to walk out of the studio, preferably taking a bit of time in case someone wanted something from her even when their hours with her were over. Her tongue is itching to make a comment about the attraction that Sicheng feels towards her, more like the slight sense of hate that follows him after every action of his towards her and hate and lust didn’t have a lot to do together, but the tension that the two possessed could get easily misunderstood. She decides not to be inappropriate, like she mostly is, and instead she goes around a question. “Sicheng, are you seeing anyone at the moment?”

Sicheng gets his breath caught in his throat and he runs his fingers through his hair before composing himself. His boss was just trying to get him nervous. “No, Boss, but that’s none of your business.”

“Oh my,” She mumbles in a sultry tone and then, she crosses her arms behind her back before chuckling. “I totally saw you dating. You’re cute, intelligent, very…responsive to commands.”

“Boss, drop it.”

“What leads you to being single?”

“It’s nothing.” Sicheng adds with blushed cheeks and she shakes her head.

“You see, Sicheng, we all have a reason why people break up with us.” She responds with a flick of her wrist and she watches as Sicheng opens the door for her, to which she thanks him with a nod before smiling like the Cheshire Cat would. “Like me, for example, people leave me because I’m so superficial and stubborn that they get tired of me. I’m the perfect example of a workaholic that thinks they are better than anyone else.”

Sicheng is glad that his boss knows how annoying he is but now her question is starting to haunt him. Most of his relationships ended because of natural reasons, people who lose interest in him and vice versa, but he doesn’t know any further from that. Sometimes, he thinks that maybe it is the fact that he is too bland that has his past relationships turning into dust…or perhaps, people didn’t enjoy the cutesy Sicheng that most people got to know. “I get people bored.”

“I can see that.”

“Hey!” The moment Sicheng’s annoyed voice leaves his vocal chords, she knew that she had a bit of a thing for getting him riled up. She waits for him to open the door to her car and he does exactly that. Once Sicheng is in the spot beside her, she instructs the driver to take them to her next schedule and after a few seconds of silence, she speaks once again.

Her hand ends up by his on its side as she lets her little finger touch with his teasingly and then, she leans over enough to look up at him with innocent eyes that she never knew she could use on anyone. “If it works for you, you don’t bore me.”

Sicheng scoffs. “Boss, I don’t mind what you think of me.” He replies curtly and she knows that he will try to be as sharp as he is with her forever, but by the way he reacts when she sits this close…she knew that there were some ways that she could have Sicheng liking her. She had always been a people-pleaser, and it would work just marvelous if she put her plan to work.

She liked Sicheng’s indifference, simply because he was one of the few people that wouldn’t try to become her friend specifically for her money, but she was far more interested in the fact that she rarely got to see the smile that he showed everyone and by now, she could already imagine how beautiful his smile would be if she was the reason behind it.

“And that’s one of the few things I like about you.” She answers and Sicheng doesn’t miss the way she smirks as she returns to her side of the seat, looking out the window after crossing one leg over the other with classiness. The devil wore designer clothing, that is for sure, but even angels like Sicheng can’t stop themselves from getting close to her.

Stress is her handbag, lemonade is her newest favorite drink because it distracts her, and she really is pondering about the facilities that coffee could bring her. The amount of outfit changes she has throughout the day are only endless reminders of the importance of her position in society and she wants to say she adores it, but she really needs a break. Her pores already feel clogged up with the amount of makeup she needs to wear on a daily, like shades of colors that really don’t represent the complexity of her personality. However, she is thankful that there are people who are able to work hard with her—waking up at four in the morning to prepare her for a gala, a grand entrance that could potentially make her the center of attention and also, bring that attention to her clothing line.

Her eyes are aching and normally, she would take a nap at that very moment, when her newest—and very sweet—makeup artist is pressing a beauty sponge to her skin to set the foundation over it, blend it to perfection and leave her like a little doll made out of glass. The seat is comfortable and the lights are a little bit dimmed, as long as she doesn’t get too close to the mirror in front of her that radiates white lights to accentuate her makeup and make it look as spotless as it could. Her manager is somewhere in the room, arms crossed over her chest and her face resting on her shoulder for some reason, but she is far too invested in thinking of the man that was supposed to bring her breakfast.

She already knows who it is. Everyone does.

She loves bickering with Sicheng, because she recognizes the amount of hatred he has towards her, and somehow she wants to change it, but that is not the reason why she needs to have Sicheng by her side. The problem starts with new, and continues with launch. A new launch had been the biggest of her problems, much more when she had been trying to create more of a casual style for men, that could sell more and at more accessible prizes (all courtesy of Sicheng’s advice). Someone like her with diamonds in her eyes, expensive rings around her fingers and a heart covered in stone cold could not understand the importance of saving money, but her assistant does and that means his opinions count as society’s, or normal people’s for that matter.

He is the image he had in her head when she created the concept of her newest launch. She wanted colors, from pastel blue to lemonade yellow (a drink, that according to Sicheng, is supposed to wake her up), with hints of peppermint shades and a few beiges to contrast, white cannot ever be too much, and the stylish suits for women and long jackets for males are the epitome of exactly what she had imagined. A punch of an eighties throwback to the gut, but not hideous enough to look out of place, but a rewind of style mixed with office and casual, pieces that can be thrown together just like they can be taken off and the facilities of buttons that make everything look stylish. She loves some color, and she thinks it should be more highlighted in the fashion industry, and the pop feeling of her line had some stylists from pop artists already reaching her phone, but she needs to make sure every piece is perfect.

Perfection is like sugar, sweet but not good in big amounts. People craved it, but it wasn’t good for their health. She learns that now, how she has always been criticized with a perfect standard in mind. “I am trying a red and black eye-look,” The soft spoken makeup artist, Lia, says as she picks up her palette after applying primer on her lids and she bites on her bottom lip as she looks at the colors. “I bought some glitter eyeliner, too, since we want it to shine.” Lia looks like a girl next door, with cheap cotton clothing covering her body, and a smile that never leaves her face. She is too pure for this world, even going as far as bringing cookies and coffee to the busy designer, and she speaks throughout the whole process of the makeup. Long eyelashes, beautiful thin lips and starry eyes that shined as bright as the glitter that she is going to apply to her eyelids. “Are you okay with that?”

“We’ve already talked about this.” She says tiredly, leaning her head back on the seat after she feels a small pull on her muscles. All she wants are five hours of sleep and potentially on her bed, not in some limousine while Sicheng reads her what she needs to do throughout the day. “Do what you need to do.” When she finally closes her eyes, getting ready to get lost on the hands of drowsiness and a sleepiness that carries her throughout life, she hears the sound of the makeup studio’s door being opened and she groans lightly, opening her eyes.

“No, no,” Lia says sweetly, moving her hands with the makeup brush on her hands. “Close your eyes. I’m going to start with your eye-makeup.”

“Sorry.” She whispers while closing one eye and with the other she catches a glance of the person that is entering the room. Sicheng is wearing a suit, although his hair is messy and his eyes are just as tired as hers. He lives off coffee and alarms on his phone, always rushing behind her, being her pretty little companion and her Atlas for the latest months. Just like how Atlas carried the world on his shoulders, he carries everything that she needs to do and keeps her company even in the toughest times, when all she wants to do is hide and pretend she was never famous to start with. “I’m glad you got here.”

“…I feel asleep, sorry.” Sicheng apologizes, just like she did a few seconds ago, and he bows to the manager before waving his hands cutely at the half-asleep woman. The designer, however, feels the movements of the brush against her eyelid coming to a halt and she opens her two eyes to see that Lia is catching a good glance of Sicheng. Tall. Gorgeous. Natural. Humble. Made for people like her, who love a good love story and a prince instead of a frog. Sicheng is that, a prince with a ceaseless need to speak his mind out about his hatred towards his boss. “Hi. I’m Dong Sicheng.” He introduces himself to the makeup artist, who only tucks a strand of her long hair behind her ear before smiling.

“Lia.”

“Sicheng?” She calls out in a whiny tone, raising an eyebrow and making her assistant look at her, starry eyes changing into bored ones once he shares a glance with his boss. He nods his head before going over to where she is, placing her breakfast on the table beside her before she starts speaking once again. “I need you to try the pieces of clothing that are in the bathroom next door, and I’ll be making some changes if I feel they don’t fit you right.”

Her assistant frowns at that. “I’m not a model. No.” But he might as well be, with his plump lips and tall height, as well as that mysterious aura that wraps around him that gives an enormous contrast with his sweet features. She thinks that Sicheng is more than he claims to be, but he will never let her know if he continues to be just like how he is right now.

“I’m your boss. You need to do what I tell you to.”

“Boss—”

“Come on. You’re the prettiest person I know currently and I trust your judgement.” Those words catch him off guard, and he cusses as he looks over to the side, the tip of his ears shining like cherry blossoms. She smiles to herself, closing her eyes once again and taking one of the cookies Lia had given her to bite down onto it.

Sicheng thinks that he has the upper hand in the relationship, a professional one that is, but she knows that is not true. He has served as inspiration, that is true, but it goes even further away from his great looks and his humble desires—his passion for work and his cute reactions had brought some kind of happiness to herself. Her work is no longer a need for attention and power, it became something more, like what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. “Okay, Boss. I’ll be right back.”

“I’m excited.”

“Please, don’t say anything.”

And the sound of the door closing has her leaning back on her seat, with a pride that swells up inside her body like a balloon, but it is quickly deflated the moment Lia speaks. “Uh…” Her nervous voice, lingered with shyness, is enough to make her open her eyes. “No, no, close them.” The repetition is not necessary, but she does as Lia says and then, the older woman clears her throat. “Is he…your assistant?”

She does not know what happens whenever she hears someone ask her about Sicheng, but it reminds her of that one time her parents took her favorite toys and sold them just because they felt like she needed to grow up. It is as if she is betrayed, but at the same time she doesn’t want to let go of what is within her touch. She swallows thickly, nodding her head and not saying a lot more, letting out soft breaths meant to relax her. However, a few minutes later she hears the sound of the door opening once again, when Lia is blending a nice transition shade on her crease.

What Sicheng is, in presence, in the scowl on his face and the sound of his voice, no one else has been to her. She has met a hundred men, slept with a handful, fallen in love with one rock-star once, but it has never quite felt like the admiration she feels towards Sicheng. He stands strong for his beliefs, even when he doesn’t completely like her, and the more she tries to become his friend, the less it feels like she has always been accompanied by people. She realized with him how lonely she is, but at the same time, that there are good people out there in the world. Those who don’t love the zeroes in her bank account, but hate her for what they made her be. What he is, is the burn that lemonade brings down her throat, with some taste of sugar but mostly bitter.

She would never admit it, how the border in between the two feels more like a frontier. How she wants to jump it and have him as a friend, or maybe simply hear him tell her the truth about herself. Perhaps, she should go to a psychic or something else, but she has never had a real person as a friend. Someone that cares about her for who she is. He doesn’t, but she feels like he could. No one would stand this job like he does, right?

Sicheng clears his throat, with cheeks made to kiss and lips that match his scowl. He is wearing one of her favorite pieces, the lemonade yellow button down, a perfect pair of trousers in a color of black and a paste blue leather jacket with a nice, handmade imprint in the back. She coos at the sight of him, clapping her hands together once before resting them against her chin. “Don’t say anything corny.”

“You look so handsome.” Without noticing, she stands up from her seat, not caring that Lia calls behind her to continue with her makeup. Once she reaches Sicheng, she opens the leather jacket by the zipper before fixing it slightly. “Don’t be nerdy. Don’t zip up the jacket.”

“The zipper is there for something. Don’t put it, if you don’t like it.”

“Ah, don’t be a grumpy ass.” She replies, looking up into his eyes before tracing the outline of the lace collar of the shirt. “How you like it? Did I do good with my color vomit?”

“Very comfortable, I might say.” Sicheng speaks his mind out, like always, and then he fiddles with the fabric of the jacket. “And the pieces are colorful, but not that…un-usable. I would wear it.”

She smiles, biting down on her bottom lip and giving a few steps back before nodding her head. “There are a few other pieces waiting for you at the bathroom. Come on. Give me a show.”

Sicheng huffs, throwing his arms to his sides and watching the two other women in the room for help, but Lia is too busy gawking at the designer and her assistant, and her manager is thoroughly asleep. He does not say much after that, but she takes a good glance of his broad shoulders as he leaves the room once again. She takes a seat, watching as Lia plays with her makeup brush before sighing. “I have a question.” Her high voice says and the designer hums, pressing another bite to the cookie on her hands, filled with chocolate. “…I’m sorry if it’s none of my business, but how do you feel now that you like someone?”

She coughs, the cookie being swallowed before it should have been, and Lia rushes to pat her back as repetitions of ‘I’m sorry’ spill past her lips. Then, she is reminded while she coughs that Sicheng has been working with her for months, and on a daily. She has seen his face in a million ways, but she hasn’t gotten tired of him. She has heard his voice, but she has never screamed at him. Although their distaste for one another is, more or less, a tale or myth of sorts—she feels like they cooperate with one another. They are a match made in heaven, like John Lennon and Yoko Ono once were.

But that is one thing, liking him as a friend or a worker of hers, but she doesn’t think she would ever like someone at that point of her life. She has broken plenty of hearts, and gotten her heart broken, too. The least she wants is to get involved with one of her workers, but it would not be a beginning for her. Love never meant a lot to her, but a crush sounds childish. Her latest relationships always started in kisses in the back of a car and ended in forgotten socks early in the morning after a night filled with passion.

But there are different types of passion, like the one Sicheng has whenever he arrives early—like he always does.

And she realizes then that people could misunderstand what has been going on with Sicheng, but she doesn’t know what pulls her to him, exactly, either. She is scared of the matters that have a meaning, but she had never thought of actually liking Sicheng. Flirting is something she enjoys doing, but she has never thought of it as something meaningful. “It’s cute.” Lia spills after starting with her makeup once again, realizing just how hot the designer’s cheeks are. “I have never seen you like someone…not even before I started working for you. Magazines have always portrayed you as a player.”

“I don’t know.” She replies, mumbled and lost in between her own lips. Suddenly, the sound of the air conditioner and the deafening silent is more of a response than anything else will ever be. “I won’t say I don’t, just like how I won’t confirm it.” Because she would rather have him by her side than have him by Lia’s. Perhaps, she is pulling in someone who doesn’t want to be by her side, but she knows that she is a bit jealous whenever she catches Sicheng looking at someone—and Lia is not an exception.

“That’s acceptable.”

The door opens once again as Lia is putting false-eyelashes on her client, and Sicheng rushes towards Lia’s side to be in front of his Boss’ line of vision. This outfit is mostly black and gray, although the sleeves have pretty shades of pastel that tie the look together. “I really like this one.” Sicheng admits with a smile on his face, one to enjoy darker colors while she likes the whole rainbow. She opens her eyes, fluttering her eyelashes slightly to get used to them before she looks at Sicheng. The smile on his face is priceless, although a bit tiny, and she knows Lia is looking at him, but for some reason they are the only ones existing in the room, inside her mind.

“I knew you would.” She confesses, thoughtful of what the man likes and doesn’t. She had never been like that with anyone, but she couldn’t show her weakness to a man. Never. A part of her wants to pull him in by the collar of his shirt and let him know who is in charge, but she is left like a blushing mess on her spot before she crosses one leg over the other. “Try some more and I’ll let you have my breakfast.”

“But Boss, I brought it for you—”

A glance to his eyes shows just how things have changed for her, how she has always cared about him to certain extent but now everything is different. There are effects that are unstoppable—like gravity, and the rain, and matters of the heart. “I want you to eat. You must be starving.” Sicheng can’t say a lot more because she lifts her hand up in the air to indicate his silent and a small ‘thank you’ is enough to bring a smile to her face.

Mornings were no longer gray as long as he was there with her. And she never knew colors could be so much brighter beside someone who could like dullness so much.

“Tell me about your first love.”

“Huh?!”

To have Sicheng talking to her when she is at her office, working on e-mails and sponsors for her newest launch, is not normal. Screw that, having Sicheng talk to her without spawning some hate towards her way of working is never a situation she has been in, but that Friday night he seems enthralled in staying by her side and while he could have left home, he decides not to do so. He is twisting around on a chair, watching her office that has a lot of professionalism but an unfitting Gibson acoustic guitar in the darkest spot of her office, holding onto a dusty corner. The latest months have not been one to linger on the thought of a guitar, out of all things, but now that he has some free time with his boss, he feels the need to know the meaning behind it. Just to scratch an itch, or know if the rumors that go around the office about his boss’ love life are real, or are even remotely close to the reality.

She stops typing, but then she shakes her head to look at her computer, finding it interesting that Sicheng is even curious about anything in her life. She straightens her back, not showing her discomfort but instead opting to cover her reminder of her only love with her faux yet so real confidence. “I thought you didn’t care about my life. Why would you want to know?” She asks and Sicheng stops twirling on the chair to press a hand to his forehead, closing his eyes after getting dizzy before speaking through his teeth.

“You don’t like playing guitar, and it doesn’t match the aesthetic of your office at all. I figured…it must have been something that reminds you of your first love. If the rumors are true.” Of course, her office is filled with rumors about her, but she opted to be a heartbreaker instead of being the heartbroken one. Even Sicheng had believed it for some time, that Hanbin or Minhyuk were her first heartbreak, but they were not even close to the pain Goichi once inflicted on her. A guitarist of some band with the softest lips to kiss, and insecurities that had crawled up on her, creating a mess of deep lakes of jealousy and screaming between the two. What was once beautiful, turned bitter rather slowly, like a painful death. “…And I do care about your life, just that I don’t voice it out.”

“It’s not like I didn’t know it.” She says, still typing, although that is a lie. She has always thought that Sicheng hates her, but to see such contrast brings a smile to her face and she remains silent, making Sicheng talk again.

“Come on. What happened with that guitar?”

Her fingers do come to a halt, only to look at the old guitar that is at that corner of her office, dusty with the memory of around fourteen songs that were written about her, some hits and some not. She remembers her ex-boyfriend, not her first, but it definitely felt like he was the only person that mattered at that moment, all the other faces in the world blurry and meaningless. She realizes that she hasn’t got rid of it, even after years of that relationship coming to an end. Her hand presses against the side of her face as she rests her elbow on her desk and she looks at Sicheng’s eyes, realizing that she has always liked that humble side of him, just like Goichi had it. “His name was Goichi. I met him while I was in Los Angeles, and he had some gig there. He played the guitar on some band…their popularity has dropped lately, but you know…he’s talented.” She breathes out softly, her red-lipstick covered lips puckering up at the action before she remembers that moment in which she met her first love. “I wasn’t that...I guess I was innocent, but I was flirty. I tried to get his number, and he promised to give it to me if we went to his favorite bar in Los Angeles. We had some drinks and he always left things for later, so he left me hanging for a kiss.”

Sicheng scoffs at that. “Someone would leave you hanging?” He asks and she smirks at that.

“Why? You wouldn’t?”

He flushes at that, crossing his arms over his chest before clearing his throat. “I’m saying most people wouldn’t.”

“Thanks.” She replies and then, she bites her bottom lip. “We started a long distance relationship. Although, not really long distance…I would visit him whenever I could, since I just jumped on a jet and I would be anywhere I wanted. I was young, and stupid, and I got that first kiss and a song written just for me.” The reminder of the tunes that he had sang just for her before they were released brings a bitter taste to her mouth. “So we quickly became a couple, and we were planning to move to a place people didn’t know us. We only wanted to run away…or some shit like that…the clichés, you know.”

“Was Goichi sweet?” Sicheng asks, humming after her reply.

“Oh, he was.” She confirms, but then she seats back on her chair, looking at the guitar once again. “He was until he showed me the broken part of himself.  I discovered that he wanted to run away because he was so insecure, scared of me going anywhere…scared of being abandoned…and no matter how many times I told him I loved him, he would always tell me that it was not true.”

Sicheng frowns at that. “And why wouldn’t he believe you?”

“Because, as my career grew, I stopped paying that much attention to him.” Then, she is reminded of how much her career has taken from her. Her life, altogether, is based on fashion, diamonds and money, but she has gotten little from that sentimentally. Sometimes, she wishes she would not be as lonely as she was. “And I got angry, because he had to be happy about my success, but he wasn’t!”

“You’re right.”

“Right?” She asks softly, sighing soon after before setting her fingers over her computer’s mouse. “So, I would get on a plane crying whenever we had a fight and he would release another song, and I would be back to him. It was a cycle.”

Sicheng hisses at that, and the way he looks at her makes her feel like she is the Goichi in the situation. Someone is trying to look at her as more than she is, see her past as nothing more than blurred lines, like her as she is instead of fixing her. “That’s not good for neither of you. How did things end?”

“He got a hit from one of the songs he wrote about me, and we were going to celebrate it and all…but I had to cancel because of the launch of my second store, and that meant that I couldn’t go to where he was.” She sounds like a complete heartbreaker at that moment, and then she realizes that the burn in her throat is guilt. That is why she has never gotten rid of that guitar, because she feels bad for what she did to Goichi. “When I got home that night, I had a lot of voice messages from him…and he told me I was a whore, that he wished he would have never fallen in love with me because I would always give more importance to something else when I was the axis of his world. I called him that night and broke it off.”

“And he agreed?”

“He did.” She replies and then, she bites her bottom lip. She stands up from her seat and takes Sicheng by the wrist before the man follows soon after her. “We are going to destroy that guitar because I am no longer tied to that man. I should not feel guilty for not fixing someone, when they didn’t want to be fixed.”

Sicheng tilts his head to the side at that, looking at the guitar in front of them before taking it in between his fingers. It is not heavy on his hands but when he passes it to her, she realizes just how many songs Goichi had written with that same guitar, and all about her. Those songs still played inside her head, and while she grips the guitar with both hands to slam it on the floor, she finds difficult to do it until she feels Sicheng’s hands over her shoulders. “Come on. Let it all out. You have enough money to buy a hundred guitars just like that.”

She nods her head. “Yeah, I do.”

“And he shouldn’t have called you a whore for growing in your career.”

“That’s right.” She squints her eyes and then, she slams the guitar against the floor, barely creaking it but the noise makes her flinch slightly. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit—”

“Don’t be scared of not being classy.” Sicheng says in between a chuckle and then, he pats her back. “Get it over and done with.”

She hits the guitar against the floor, once again, letting out a smile when she sees it breaking slightly. She continues two more times until she releases it to the floor, turning to look at Sicheng and grip his forearms with a happy beam on her face. “I’m over it!” Sicheng has never seen such emotion on her face, like a child-like glow that can only feel like being reborn. He smiles down at her, as if he finally sees a side of her that he actually likes. “Wait,” She stops on her tracks and takes Sicheng’s cheeks in between her hands. “Did you say earlier that you do care about me?”

And then her confidence is back, with that smirk that makes him burn from within, as if his organs were turning inside out. “Oh…that.” Sicheng replies before frowning his eyebrows and lifting his nose with a scrunch. “I said it in the heat of the moment…you know.”

“No, you didn’t say it in the heat of the moment.” She says with a smile on her face and then, she pinches his side, realizing how he flinches slightly because of the tickling motion. “Look how cute you are, pretending you hate me when I’m probably your crush or something.”

Sicheng shakes his head, clearing his throat and pushing her by the shoulders slightly to keep her at arm distance. “No. You’re far from that. I hate you, Boss.”

“Oh, come on, call me by my name—” She smiles up at him and then, she sticks her tongue out playfully. “And you helped me get over my ex? Come on, you’re at least my friend!”

Her assistant rubs his temples with a sigh leaving his lips. “You’re so much like a teenager sometimes.”

“That’s good. I remain young, then.”

Sicheng shakes his head. “Stop it.”

She pinches his reddened cheeks before pointing at the mess of wood that is on the floor. “You’re going to have to clean that up while I finish working, but it’s not like you’ll mind—because I’m your friend.”

“I said stop it!” Although, Sicheng gets out of the room to look for a broom and she crosses her arms over her chest, always used to looking at his back as he leaves, but he always comes back. She thinks Sicheng makes her feel like how she should have always felt, happy and bubbly, as well as inspired and ready to fight back. He is not like anyone from her past, and she realizes then that Lia might be right—she might like Sicheng, but he is too precious to approach just now. Perhaps, she’d like to have him as a friend first, and that’s a start for her.

Waking up to Sicheng is almost normal occurrence, when he moves her shoulders when she takes too long to stand up from the bed, or when he enters just at the moment she is working out. Most of the time he brings tea, unless she asks for something else in her spoiled mind, but that morning is entirely different. She wakes up to a text from her assistant saying that he is extremely sick with a fever, to the point he is unable to stand up from the bed and that he is incredibly sorry, and while she could get Yesung to work as her assistant for a day, she thinks it is better to call it a day and take care of the poor man that has taken care of her for plenty of days, more like months and sometime, it will be an entire year of being her angel. Paid angel. Guy with a paycheck that cares about her even through that paycheck.

Or so she thinks.

She feels lost, that is not something she is going to deny. She puts on her planned set of clothes, brushes her hair back to give it a sleeked back, but slightly wet look, and when she puts on her heels to get ready for work, she realizes she really doesn’t want to leave Sicheng in his bad state, so she calls Yesung and he is suddenly the head of her company just for a day, or an afternoon, or however long it takes her to take care of Sicheng. It is until then, at exactly nine in the morning, that she really thinks of what she wants to do once she gets to Sicheng’s apartment. Does she want to give him medicine or is it better to take some nice food to him? She thinks the latter would be more heart-touching, but she is not that great at cooking. Well, not really one to cook, either.

With confident steps from her high heels, she gets to the kitchen to meet up with her cook, all filled with knowledge on the most excellent of tastes. She licks her lips, leaning her weight forward to look at the thirty-something men as she bends over the counter. “Good morning to my favorite cook,” That is not a lie, his food had always been the best and they have been working together for years. “Did you know Sicheng is sick?”

“Oh, Mr. Dong?” Always one for formalities and being called ‘cook’, the man questions as he prepares a perfect plate of waffles. “That’s unfortunate. I had prepared the second serving you had asked for.”

“Save it for later, I’m going to visit Sicheng.” Those words surprise the chef, and he looks over his shoulder with widened eyes. Soon after, his deep voice lets out a chuckle as he shakes his head. “I will be making some soup. What kind of soup should I give to a man with the flu?”

The chef actually cackles at that, loud as he sets the plate filled with waffles in front of his boss, and he presses his big hands to the counter. “Miss, I’m sorry—but you don’t know how to cook. I’ll take care of it. I can make a changed version of my Mom’s recipe for when I was sick, back when I lived in Rio—”

She takes a big bite of her waffles, eager to finish quickly just to get to Sicheng. She knows his address but she has never fully gone to his place, only staying inside her limousine to go pick him up if needed, yet this is completely different. The chef notices her seriousness and he lets out a sigh. “I’ll help you. Really, I want to help.”

“Miss, okay—yes, you can help me after you eat.” She nods her head, taking another big bite of the honey-covered waffles. “But…you don’t plan to go to Mr. Dong’s apartment with those clothes…right?” She looks down at her outfit, perfect and immaculate, with a pink top that hugged her waist and a marble-patterned skirt, paired with a fluffy jacket from one of her favorite designers, and the heels, although black, accentuated her legs nicely. She looks like an example of perfection, in her eyes. “He’s a very…tranquil man, and his neighborhood is not poor, but it is also not as luxurious as this one. You’d look out of place.”

“I don’t think I have anything cheap, though.” She says in a mumbled tone before continuing with her meal. “Would a white blouse and jeans work? That’s as casual as I can get.”

The chef hisses. “I was thinking more of t-shirt and jeans…but…whatever you want, Miss.”

Is that the type of people Sicheng liked? Not as outstanding as her, with enough bite to make him go crazy, but someone who is as dull as the water in a fountain. She is the whole Red Sea, unknown and out of her own head, always being an exception of the rule. She stands out, but she can’t do it now. “…Chef,” She starts. “Do you think…Sicheng…likes normal…girls?”

The chef already knows what is going on, raising his eyebrows and smiling sweetly, interlocking his hands under his chin before tilting his head to the side. “What is your concept of normal?”

Oh, she knows it—diamonds, breakfast to bed, and a lot of clothes in her closet. The concept of normal to Sicheng is probably cereal as breakfast and sweet laughter that comes with movie dates. “I…I am very spoiled, and rich. I don’t think I have a proper vision of what normal is.”

He nods his head at that. “I’m sure Sicheng does mind how…picky you can be, Miss. Stubborn.” He corrects himself before clearing his throat, going over to put Sicheng’s breakfast in a container before starting the process of making soup with his boss. “But you are not unlikeable for average people, Miss. Quite the contrary.”

“Really?” She asks, before rolling her eyes with a smile on her face. “I knew that much…but Sicheng makes me believe that’s not the case.”

“He’s just different from the men you tend to pick, Miss.” The chef says. “Although, that’s none of my business.”

“No, no!” She retorts. “Please, do speak.”

The chef closes the container with a soft thud before speaking, his back turned to her as a way of shielding his words—or maybe, he is only working. “All the men you pick are rich out of the crib.  They are used to getting what they want, and Sicheng knows he has to work for things—it is only normal for him to want others to work for things, too.”

“What does that mean?”

“He wants you to work for him, in some way. If you want to seduce him, he wants to have you wrapped around his little finger.”

Whether she gasps or not, that doesn’t matter because the events that follow soon after show how affected she is by the chef’s knowledge. As she ‘helps’ him make the soup—more like stands to the side and passes him what he needs—, she starts talking about how no man can ever have her wrapped around his finger. She knows what she is worth, perhaps a million dollars or a thousand more, she regards herself as a woman of power, but she is also not as little as an ant when being with Sicheng. He makes her feel equal, and that is different. She likes it, but she also finds it frustratingly slow.

Once she is changed out of her clothes, inside her cheapest car and driving over to Sicheng’s neighborhood, she realizes just how much he means to her. Past the professional source, the friendship title and others, Sicheng is someone she appreciates past any title. He doesn’t want to change her, but she feels the need to better herself thanks to him. There are enough mistakes on her shoulders to drag her down, but Sicheng always tells her honestly what he thinks about her. At first, he was too honest, but now he is the perfect complement of reality and dreaming.

His neighborhood is, to say the least, as cute as him—tiny, with kids playing on the streets and people buzzing with happiness. She feels a bit out of place when she parks her car and people keep staring at her, but she is used to this, why should it feel any different now?

She walks forward, opening the entrance of Sicheng’s apartment complex and talking to the security guard at the front. Once she is let inside, the elevator and the smell of air freshener meet up in a way that makes her feel dizzy, or maybe it’s the nervousness that buzzes inside her. All she wants to know is that Sicheng is alright, and she tugs at the fabric of her blouse as she walks to the apartment that she knows is his. Or it’s not. Perhaps, she made a mistake going there—

But she has already knocked, and she tries to remind herself that she has given speeches in fronts of thousands of people, had the most influential of people begging to have her attention, enamored the most handsome men that people continuously talk about on social media.

She has got this.

She knows what she is doing.

Until Sicheng opens the door while covered in a thick sweater, his blanket draped over his shoulders and his sweatpants hugging his slender hips softly as he lets out a noise of surprising, calling her name in a way that would have warmed her heart if only it wasn’t the first time she has heard her name from his lips without any honorifics in front of it. “Oh!” She calls out sweetly, widening her eyes and pressing the bag filled with food to her chest with a smile on her face, hands interlocked together. “You just called me by my name.”

Sicheng blinks sleepily at that, nodding his head soon after before saying: “Sorry, Boss.”

“No, no. Don’t call me Boss again—”

“What are you doing here?” His voice sounds a thousand times deeper, opening his door wider to lean against it in efforts of staying up, but she can tell that he is feeling his worst. His body seems to be dragging against the material of his door, his hair is even messier and dirtier than other days, and his lips are chapped to no end. “Didn’t you see my text? I can’t—” He coughs his lungs out at that moment, speaking through short spans of breath. “I can’t…go to work…sorry!”

“I came here because I took the day off to take care of you.” She wants to look over to the side, but she is too prideful to do it. Sicheng looks at her with surprise when she says those words and the thick silence within them makes her cringe. God. What does one do in a situation like this? She waves the bag in front of his eyes before smiling. “I brought you some soup, courtesy of my chef and I, and waffles, courtesy of the chef only.”

Sicheng puckers his lips at that, although his eyes warm up at the sight of her. “No. Go to work. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m going to fire you if you don’t let me take care of you.” She replies and Sicheng shakes his head.

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh, you don’t know me all that well, Sicheng.”

“…I—” He coughs after he says those words and she takes him by the arm, dragging him with her before closing his door with her foot.

“You are going to have your waffles and soup, because I’m sure you haven’t eaten, and then you’re napping. I’ll take care of the dishes or whatever.”

Sicheng’s apartment is casual, like the one a young man would have, with sheets sprawled on the coffee table with designs of his and reminders on sticky notes around the doors. The smell is of his perfume, not the cheapest but not the most expensive, and the colors are as dark as he usually likes. The kitchen is small, but he takes a seat and invites her to talk to him, though she does most of the talking as he slowly slurps on the soup and takes bites of the waffles until she feeds him. Sicheng wraps himself on his blanket and accepts the spoonful of food she gives him each time, chewing on the strange mix of waffles and soup, but he is too hungry to care.

She feels her heart warm up when he crawls inside his bed, thanking her with a smile on his face as she sits by his side, and although he complains when she runs her fingers through his dirty hair, his eyes closing slightly at the mere action, he lets her do it after a while. Sicheng’s hands are resting on each side of his body, his cheek tilting to the side while she continues stroking his hair. Then, he speaks in a husky voice. “Why are you doing this for me?”

“Because you’re my friend.” She confesses and Sicheng whines lowly.

“But I always said I hated you.”

“And you still hate me?”

“I don’t.” He coughs after that statement and then, his hand rests over hers that finds a home on his scalp. “You’re my friend, too.”

It has never felt so warm, to be cared for, or maybe she has never been cared for this purely that she finds it so beautiful. She watches as he falls asleep by her side, his runny noise making a few snores leave his lips, and while he doesn’t look his best—she still sees what he is, what he makes her feel, and the magnificence within him. Sicheng speaks a few languages, and the language he spilled to her was hate, but now it feels like peace has settled within them.

Is being just friends really good enough?

That notebook is everything that seems to go through her brain.

There is a potential sponsor, investor and a colleague in the fashion industry in front of her, graced by her tall height and knowledge that she should be interested on, but she is far too distracted by the fact that Sicheng is carrying a new notebook around, and it is not her agenda—the one he uses to keep up with her schedule, updated on a daily thanks to his connections with her managers—, so whatever secret he is keeping from her, she needs to know.

The notebook is dark green, and it always stands behind her agenda on his hands, but he checks it constantly. Her first thought is that he has another person he’s working for, but Sicheng doesn’t even have the time to hang out with his friends with her busy schedule, let alone have another work—and he’s well paid, so he shouldn’t be looking for any other job. She thinks that as she is talking to the sponsor, not caring if her eyes look a little bit too lost. She’s committed plenty of sins, lying shouldn’t be a problem.

But when thinks of a second guess, she comes clueless with nothing inside her head and while Sicheng spends time with her throughout the day, they are too busy to talk about the matter that has her distracted. Her mind should be in Sydney, getting ready for a two-day trip there with Sicheng. He’s still there, she shouldn’t care about another notebook that probably is a continuation of her agenda with how busy she is, but something inside her mind tells her that Sicheng has been acting different and while they are closer, much more lively with one another, although bickering just as much, Sicheng is hiding something.

If that is her issue or not, that is unknown, because she thinks she deserves to know what is going on.

She finally gets the chance to talk to Sicheng when her heels are neatly placed on her walk-in closet, her body is cladded on her most comfortable pajamas and she is taking her makeup off with a wipe. Her eyes are staring into the mirror, but she looks at the reflection of Sicheng behind her, having finished his task of organizing her clothes neatly for her trip and now, he’s looking down at his notebook and writing down something. Then, she speaks. “What’s that notebook for?”

The man jumps at the sound of her voice, though he tries to feign innocence when he says a small: “Excuse me?”

“The notebook. It’s new. I’ve never seen you with it.” The air feels heavy on a piano tune that mocks the two as Sicheng stares at her in bewilderment, not expecting her out of people to be observant and detailed, but she is just for him. She stands up from her spot, pulling her pajama bottoms up with the motion before quirking an eyebrow. “Don’t you dare lie to me. I’ll know.” Though the smile on her face is mocking, the tone of her voice hides the indecision that aches within her. Sicheng clears his throat, fixes the fabric of her button down before looking over to the side.

“It’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.”

And when he looks into her eyes, brown and clouded, hazed, troubled, she realizes that whatever is bothering him is very important for him. Sicheng bites down on his plump bottom lip, rosy and covered in chap-stick, and with a sigh, he presses one hand down to her shoulder, as if he is trying to find leverage and support to say what comes next: “I’m…I’m trying to launch my own clothing line, and it’s going great. In the past eleven months that I’ve worked for you, I’ve been saving and—you pay me plenty, so I have been able to work on designs and find a little team to support me.”

She widens her eyes at that, a smile creeping up her face. “Oh my God!” She gasps out of surprise, but pride altogether, because Sicheng is hardworking and he deserves more than success. “Yes, I’m all for that. I could even go as far as working with you!”

“I want to do this alone for now, just to prove myself.” Sicheng says but then again, there is something bothering him, deep within him. “And if everything goes alright…” Like how it should. “I might leave my job.”

Now, that is something she did not expect and with a faux grin on her face, she stares at him with emotionless eyes. “Oh.”

“Yes.”

“I support you.” She speaks through her teeth, because she really is happy for him, but she knows she will miss him to bits. He is not her half, for she’s not incomplete, but hand in hand they create a perfect duo.

Sicheng beams at that, bright with excitement. “So, let’s revise over your schedule for tomorrow—”

Like her black tea in the mornings, sometimes there and sometimes not, she will miss him.

Very rarely does she get to see Sicheng in his office, tiny but immaculate at the same time, because he is normally at hers doing his very best to help her fulfill her tasks, but now that he is working on his own projects, she sees him use the phone more often, checking his designs and even going as far as replying his own e-mails with the partners he is looking for, all for his big launch. However, when she peeks her head inside his office as she is about to leave, she realizes that Sicheng’s posture is clear enough to show his distress. He’s hunched over the desk, holding his phone in one hand and frownin deeply at whatever the other person is saying.

She knows he is at the verge of screaming—she has been there, although she has had a handful of people to help her from the very start, but Sicheng is almost doing everything by himself and that means that his levels of stress are up the roof. She takes some time to look at the depth of his face, the way he leans back on his seat and gives the image of a boss in disguise. One day, she believes, she will be able to see his clothing line going on runways. She just knows it, classic and meticulous, Sicheng has studied fashion, unlike her who only knows what she likes and what she doesn’t.

“What do you mean you mixed the fabrics?!” His tone now rises in volume and she flinches a bit before a smile spreads across her face. She has always seen herself as the boss and Sicheng being the one bossed around, but he is a thousand times more attractive when sitting there with an air of knowledge. She bites down on her bottom lip as she finally enters the office, and he only steals her a glance before continuing. “No. I specified it a week beforehand, it’s not my fault that you never check your e-mails and when you do, it’s half-assed. I’ll have to fix all of this by my—” Whoever is talking on the other line interrupts him and Sicheng breathes in deeply, rubbing his eyebrow as a way of calming down his nerves. “Yeah, once you fix it give me a call, alright? We need to have this launch finished by the date I gave you.”

Once Sicheng hangs up the call, she whistles under her breath and crosses one leg in front of the other. “That’s hot. You being bossy.” Sicheng flushes red at her words but he doesn’t even smile, he is in another world floating in worries. She gets closer to him, the fabric of her dress hugging her nicely as she leans over his smaller desk. “Hey, I know how it feels, but if you continuously check on your work and make sure everything gets done, from there the rest is easy.”

Sicheng sighs deeply and he covers his face with his hands, for a moment she is scared that he will start crying, but then he uncovers his face. “I’m tired, and hungry. I don’t need this amount of stress.”

“Then, let me invite you to dinner.”

“I don’t feel like going to a restaurant.”

She trails her gaze up and down his body as he stands up, licking her lips at the sight of his black-cladded outfit. “Then, let me invite you to dinner at my place.”

“Yes, sure.” Sicheng mumbles, turning off his computer and then, picking up her agenda and his notebook. “Thanks.”

The car ride is filled with a different temperature, the golden lights of the streets bathing them as the chauffeur takes them to her house, and they bask on conversation about work. It is clearly noticeable that Sicheng’s perception of fashion is different, sexy but at the same time casual, enough to give normal people an edge, something that designers try on a daily but can’t ever reach. Sicheng is newness, like a sunrise, and she can’t help but feel thrilled to see what he comes up with.

But what really is clouding her mind is the way Sicheng seems more open to her, and the constant reminder that she has been into him for the past few months, but she has not tried anything out of utter respect for the man, too scared of ruining what took her months to create. They are friends now, so she should not ruin that, but it is difficult to not want to seduce him when his clothes fit him so nicely—no, when he is that absolute perfection of a person whenever he talks to her, eating with her in her balcony as they take bites of honey-chicken and a salad prepared by her chef.

“I’m proud of you,” She says as she looks at the night sky, blue and dark, but with enough stars to cast over them and the moon is slotted in a half. She stands up from her spot on the table in her balcony to press a hand to the railing, her leg slitting away from the open fabric of her long dress, black that matches his as she touches the necklace filled with diamonds she had opted to wear that night. Sicheng looks at her, glass of water pressed to his lips and for a moment, his eyes trail down the silky skin of her legs in full display. “I am sure you will be big, Sicheng. Like, I have never met someone as…given to their work as you are.”

“You really think so?” Sicheng asks and she nods her head, getting closer to him and running her fingers through his hair to get a good glimpse of his features. Nicely shaped nose, rounded eyes and a scowl that is always there, but that his smile seems to cover with ease. The air smells like seduction and she wonders if she wants to give a step or not. His lips are an energy drink and she is sleep-deprived. All she needs is a taste to feel energized, awake and alive. “I can promise you that I have learned a lot from you. You’re…difficult to work for, but you’re excellent at your job.”

“I’m excellent at a lot of things.” She brags before letting her hand fall from his hair, to his cheek and finally his chest. She presses against the taut surface to have his back resting against the chair and she flutters her eyelashes at that. “Even if you have a hundred problems, don’t let any of them get to your success.”

Sicheng looks up at her and she can tell he is considering the touch of a woman he had despised for a while and that he, now, looks up to. The cold air of the night hits her uncovered leg and she tilts her head to the side when he mumbles out something that she can’t quite understand. Upon her look of confusion, although adoration, Sicheng repeats himself. “Thank you for being there for me since the beginning.”

“Hey, I expect to be in a speech sometime.” She points out and then, she gives him a smile that is worth a million dollars. They look into each other’s eyes and sooner than later, she realizes there I something in between the two, like tension and gravity, meant to be there from the very start. Sicheng pulls the fabric of her dress down, with a soft caress that is barely felt and then, he looks down at the way his fingers touch her skin.

“Your dress was riding up.”

“Oh, really?” She puzzles sultrily and then, she leans her body forward slightly, until she grips Sicheng by his collar and can bring him closer to her. “How did you notice? Were you looking at me?”

Sicheng raises his eyebrows and then, he smiles, different from any grin that he had given her. It’s not shy, if anything, he can sense the change in the atmosphere. “It’s hard not to look at someone like you.”

Gravity helps them when it works to pull them together, his hands ending on the back of her thighs as she kisses him with slow yet passionate movements, as if she is not scared to drown in the sea that is Sicheng. Every movement of their lips feel different, considering that she knows Sicheng is not a one-night stand, he is more than that. They look at one another like pieces of art, and wannabes of Picasso they are when they are with one another. A soft breath leaves his lips when he stands up, holding her by the waist and smiling against her lips as she leads him back to her bedroom, or one of the many she has inside her house.

There is a song in between two, like the sound of his jacket falling somewhere in the room and his lips catching hers once again. She chuckles against his lips and he whispers something along the lines of how beautiful she is. There are no diamonds that can portray just how bright his eyes are when his hands roam her body once they end up over her bed, and maybe it’s a goodbye, or a see-you-later, but it feels like closure but the beginning at the same time. Diamonds on her neck turn into blossoming roses around her throat. The beat of her heart becomes a tempo for him to continue and his smile is her compass, finding her and losing her at the same time when he shows just how exactly he has her wrapped around his little finger as he takes off his shirt and stands within her with a smile on his face.

She touches his arms, leaning forward to kiss him but being stopped by a giggle that spoke too loudly, said too much, and it is the sweetest sound she has ever heard. “Hey, hey, take it slow.”

“Hush.” She adds but Sicheng takes her by the cheeks, looking into her eyes and chuckling.

“Come on, I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.” Sooner than later, his lips press to hers with a sweet melody, like honey dripping through her body, and she relaxes against the bed. This time it’s not like the others, he’s Sicheng—different from anyone else she has ever had.

The fabric of her beige coat falls on top of her shoulders when she hears the entrance door of her house being opened, the sound of her security guard’s voice filling the air. “Boss, your assistant is waiting at the entrance, but he doesn’t want to enter. Please, go over to him.”

She knows it has been tough for Sicheng lately, considering it is very cold and with each passing day of the two together after their romantic encounter it gets harder for him to leave, as well. Heck, she has been thinking about how much she will be missing Sicheng for the past few days, too, and all she wants to do is wrap him up in a hug and never let go of him, but his growth is far more important than anything else in the world right at that moment. She nods her head, fixing the fabric of her high-waisted baggy pants, pulling her bag over her shoulder and walking out of her house with confident steps and certainty on her bright eyes.

The coldness seeps through the fabric of her clothing and she cusses fashion for being a little bit useless when she needs warmth, but Sicheng is there to give her the heat she desires. She walks a few steps with a tempo, the snowflakes falling upon the beige clothing that covers her from her shoulders to her ankles. She sees the outline of a man that is sitting by the sidewalk and she lets a smile creep up her face. She doesn’t want to think too much that there is no future for the two, but she wants to keep whatever she can from Sicheng, so the moment she sees him in such a predicament, she knows it’s the end for the two.

Paris is cold around this time, just like love.

She rubs her hand against the back of his neck and that is enough to catch his attention, lending her his hand to take to sit by his side. Her legs press to her chest to keep herself warm, but she leans to the side to rest her head on his clavicle and Sicheng takes that as a starter to wrap his arm around her shoulder. He doesn’t say much, and that is the start of the end. “I’m guessing you have bad news for me.”

Sicheng nods, pressing his big lips to her head because they are alone, for she knows fully well that he is not one to show his emotions to the public. “The release date for my clothing line release is set…and I’ll have to work fully on that.” There are things that are bound to end, like fireworks and published books, that is just how life works, but she never thought that her time with her favorite assistant out of the amount she’s had would halt so suddenly. Sicheng pulls away to look at her, lips reddened and nose runny. He feels like a dream, touches her like she is reality and in his mind, everything suddenly becomes a dream-like nightmare. Why is it that saying goodbye to someone he hated hurts him so much? “So, I’m here to…say that I will stop working with you.”

He will stop working with her. She won’t have the opportunity to see him early in the morning, to tease him, to daydream about such a humble man that has moved her ground, turned her earth inside out and created a mess that she adores. She wants to say something, act as childish and spoiled as she has always been, but she cannot. This is his dream, and she can’t expect to be the one to replace it. “I understand.” Her fingers run down the bridge of his nose, looking down at his lips before parting her own. “I want you to be successful. Show all those people who never believed in you who is the real boss.”

He chuckles at that, gripping her hand and bringing it to his chest before sighing. A sigh so deep that it almost feels like a gush of breath against her face. “I kind of expected you to whine, and kick the floor, and beg me to stay.”

She scoffs at that, raising an eyebrow. “I never beg.” Sicheng quirks an eyebrow at that, the tip of his tongue holding a secret that only the two know and she presses her finger to his lips. “I rarely beg.”

“Rarely. That’s a better word.”

“Hey, we’re talking about you, not me.” She tells him, taking their interlocked hands up to her lips to kiss the soft surface of his hand, the fingers that sometimes hold rings, but they don’t that morning. “I’m proud of you. You shouldn’t feel bad for growing—after all, you took the job as my assistant as a way of learning from me. Not that you needed to learn much, you were already so good.”

Sicheng looks at her with adoration, looking around the place to see if there is someone looking at them and when he realizes they are alone, he wraps his arms around her in a hug that takes her breath away, her hands pressed awkwardly against his chest, in between their bodies. She breathes in his scent, that cologne that she has always called average but now represents him perfectly. She closes her eyes, holding her tears when he says: “Let’s make our last day as coworkers worth it, okay?”

“Yes.”

The clock is ticking, the air is filled with upbeat music and she has gotten tired of seeing painted nails and pastel clothes. Sometimes, she is there for when the stars that she advertises wear her clothes to concerts or award shows, this time around it is an award show of sorts that she is not fully interested in, but she is backstage as a group of people wear her newest launch, uptight and ready to perform to their best of their abilities. It is stressful, to be asked questions in the red carpet and also be in charge of making sure the stylists pair her pieces of clothing perfectly. Most designers are not this involved, but she has never learned how to care about her own business.

There are a few rules that she has when she is working, one of them is to never pick up the phone when she is under stress, because she tends to scream or even worse, snap at the person on the other end, so she normally keeps her phone on vibration or gives it to her assistant. Although, it has been a month since Sicheng left the company and she has a new—gorgeous looking, seriously—assistant. Her name is Yuri and she is one of the most responsible people she has ever met, as well as charming enough to have people smiling at the mere thought of herself.

One of the indie stars that is probably going to win the popularity award that year in that award show calls out her name, but she is interrupted by the vibration of her phone inside the pocket of her jeans—thankfully, she had been able to change once she entered backstage—and she groans at the reminder that she is busy at any angle. She takes her phone out of her pocket, inspecting it to be the ever-so picky designer Ten Leechaiyapornkhul that seems to be all too excited for their collaboration, to the point she wants to slap him across the face thanks to their different points of view. “Listen, Ten, I am extremely busy right now and I don’t have the time to—”

“Sorry. Did I call at a bad time?” That voice…it’s not lightweight and lively like Ten’s, it’s deeper and a bit mysterious, hinting to what one would know as shyness. She widens her eyes when she realizes that Sicheng is the one that is calling her, making her swallow thickly as she presses her index finger to her free ear and moves to one of the free rooms backstage. A bathroom might do.

“Sicheng?” She asks, not having heard his voice for a few weeks…maybe even a month. He has only gotten busier with the launch of his clothing line and in all honesty, her outfit at the moment comes from his first few designs. A hum is heard on the other line, along with a laugh once she gasps. “Gosh, I missed you so much—! I, uh, why are you calling?”

Sicheng ponders for a moment, basking on the sound of her voice before sighing. “I was wondering if we could have dinner. It’s my first free night in a while and I would love to spend it with you, but you’re…busy, right?”

Curse her and her mouth, because she always says what she shouldn’t. Everything could be fixed, however, because she leans her weight against the wall of the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror before chuckling. “Oh, never too busy for you, Sicheng.”

“No, really, if you’re busy we can leave it for another time—”

“This award show can wait.”

“You’re at an award show?! No, stay there!”

“Nope. Let’s meet at my favorite restaurant in half an hour, okay?” Before he could give her an answer, she hangs up and smiles to herself, pressing her phone to her chest and almost waltzing in her step as she gets out of the bathroom. The room is buzzing with fear and excitement and as she tries to walk to her assistant, one of the stylists stands in front of her while carrying two jackets.

“Miss, Jay Park is getting ready to go on stage but we don’t know if we should go for the red or blue version of this jacket—” She sighs deeply, interlocking her hands in front of her body before pointing to the red jacket. Red has always been more outstanding on stage, in her opinion. “Such a good choice, thank you!”

“Yes. It’s nothing.” The sweet smile on her face only gets wider when she gets to where Yuri is, holding a stack of papers and her agenda. Her mind is filled with the idea of finally seeing Sicheng, but to be able to spend time with him—and also touch up her makeup—she should leave as soon as possible. “Yuri, cancel all my meetings for the night. You’re in charge of any decisions that need to be made—and is my chauffeur waiting for me by the entrance? I have to go to dinner with Sicheng.”

Yuri does not even know who Sicheng is, but the notice of being in charge for the night bewilders her. “No, Boss, I can’t do all of this alone.”

“Sorry, but I really need to attend this dinner. You’ll be fine.” The swat of her hand only serves to make Yuri even more nervous. What is she supposed to do without her boss? “Just remember…no bandanas, I hate those, and no backup dancer should wear red, okay?”

“Boss—”

“I’m late, I’ve got to go!”

It is only a matter of seconds until she is inside her limousine, touching up her makeup quickly and fidgeting with excitement in the backseat. She can only wonder how Sicheng looks like, although perhaps beautiful as always, and maybe she will be able to steal a kiss or two, as well as bask in conversation about their lives with him. The reminder that she hasn’t had dinner yet is palpable, and while the food sounds delicious and like something she desires, there is nothing that could top the reminder that Sicheng is only a few minutes away of being with her once again.

The atmosphere of her favorite restaurant has always reminded her of Sicheng, with violet and blue colors that calm her down, but at the same time excite her. It is not as packed as it should, for it is a busy Tuesday night at work, but she is welcomed with glee by the workers that already know her. When she steps inside the restaurant, she realizes there are only three tables taken—one with an old couple with a lot of Botox, other with some kind of singer that she knows but doesn’t really talk to (extremely famous, she might add) and then, there is one man that is barely taken a seat and she would recognize those long legs and broad shoulders anywhere, paired with dark hair and all black clothing.

That is Sicheng.

No, her Sicheng.

She walks over to where he is, tapping his shoulder and hearing the small ‘huh?’ that escapes his lips as he turns around to look at her. Sicheng widens his eyes when he realizes that his ex-boss is there, standing up from his seat quickly and smiling with his bottom lip stuck in between his teeth as he adds a barely audible: “…Hi.” Although she knows he is not one for public affection, she doesn’t mind showing the few people there that she is very much into Sicheng, and that she has missed him to bits. She wraps her arms around his middle, smiling with her cheek pressed to his shoulder and he chuckles awkwardly, resting his hands on her shoulders. “Hey, we’re in public. Did you miss me that much?”

“Look me in the eye and say you haven’t missed me.” She replies while pulling away from him and Sicheng tilts his head before sighing.

“I can’t say such a lie.” The sound of his voice is enough to bring a smile to his face and then, he points at the table. “We should sit down, since you’re so busy and I should take advantage of every single second I have with you.”

She scoffs at that. “Me? The busy one? You should tell me how those sales are going with your clothing line!”

The world seems to start spinning as they talk through bites of food and a small cheer for the two of them in between drinks. She would give everything up just to see that smile on Sicheng’s face, as if his life is suddenly a thousand times happier. There, he tells her every detail of his clothing line, even going as far as showing her a few designs that he has been working on, and she is more than excited to see the way he has grown from a small piece of sky to the whole universe.

There is no mistaking that she feels like Sicheng makes her feel alive, past whatever experience she had in the past, he makes her live in sin but feel like an angel at the same time. The night passes by thanks to the deep conversation and she wonders why in the world they hated each other, or disliked for that matter, at some point of their lives. He feels like all the protection she needs, the type of man that she never hoped for but exactly the one she needed, with enough honesty to let her know that there won’t ever be a barrier in between the two.

After sharing dessert and sharing a few touches here and there, she holds onto his arm as they walk out of the restaurant, not fully caring if anyone sees them in such a lonely night, but she thinks they are the least important matter to anyone that night. She looks at him as he talks about how much he had missed her. “Now, I have an assistant and that’s…that’s crazy. I don’t boss him around as much as you did to me, though.”

She rolls her eyes at what he says. “I didn’t boss you around all that much.” She replies and Sicheng squints his eyes as if inspecting her, although he is only calling her crazy internally, from what she can perceive from him. “Don’t look at me like that. You know I only enjoyed your company, and annoying you. More annoying you than your company.”

Sicheng is the one to laugh at her remark first, and she follows soon after. “You really did annoy me a lot.”

“Hey!”

“You don’t like coffee. I had to look for tea every single morning.” He replies and then, he stops on his tracks before reaching his car. “Is your chauffeur waiting for you?”

“Yes.” She replies but then she takes her phone out of her pocket. “Do you want me to call him up and say I will leave with you?”

Sicheng smiles at that, the apples of his cheeks looking perfect to kiss as he rests his weight against his car, crossing his arms over his chest before nodding his head. “You’re really touchy, so I might as well take you with me.” He replies cheekily and when she pulls her phone to her ear to talk to her chauffeur, she feels his hands reaching for her waist to press her against his chest, his legs resting by her thighs as he writes unknown letters on her waist with the tips of his fingers. She is speaking to her chauffeur, who accepts with glee to have a free night, and Sicheng chuckles once she hangs up the phone. “You could have said please, at least.”

“Oh, sorry. Are you a manner teacher now?” She asks and Sicheng shakes his head, leaning forward to jot their lips together and taste the beverages they had on her lips. She hums against his mouth, her fingers running through his hair and taking handfuls as he parts his lips and lets their tongues meet one another. Anyone would say that their relationship is only based on their mutual attraction, but it goes past that. She feels like Sicheng is the only person that has gotten to know her fully and likes her for it. He shows it through the way he kisses her, as if the world is not important as long as they are there for one another. Perhaps, he is on sugar-rush, because Sicheng would not normally be as wild as he is at that moment, his hands trailing down and resting just over the back of her thighs. “Are you really needy or did you miss me that much?”

Sicheng bites down on her bottom lip before smiling sweetly. “I missed you. Shut up.”

She coos at the sound of his voice. “Have you already fallen for me?” It is a playful question that is thrown his way, as a way of boosting her ego like she always does, hot like the start of summer, but Sicheng looks at her with a deep glare on his eyes. His head tilts as his hand rests on the back of her neck, pulling her in once again to kiss her softly. Sicheng takes her breath away, fiddling with the pockets of his jacket to find the keys to his car before sighing against her lips.

“That’s for you to discover.” He says, setting her skin on fire more than anything else. A glass of wine does not have as much power as Sicheng does. Once he confesses such thing, she pulls away from his lips completely, holding onto the edge of his jacket and parting her lips to ask him something else, but the door opens soon after and Sicheng almost falls on his butt at the quick action. “Let’s just get in the car before I end up falling.” Although, she does not know if it’s rhetorically or literally.

The idea of love is weird. Even self-love is difficult to find, to create, and some people like to believe that love is a palpable concept of reality, but sometimes it becomes a nightmare that is hard to get over. Throughout her life, she thought she could only love two things—or three, for that matter—: money, herself and work, but every single day in her spoiled life taught her that it was difficult to even trust herself. A person can be measured by their stereotypes, and she was a victim of such thing, of the lingering glances and the words as faux as leather. The repetition of those three words of love only made it sound more unlikeable, until she heard it from someone who actually meant it.

It’s stupid, how she misses him even when is there, and when he is gone, it feels like he is there. Sicheng is so much like exactly what she had never imagined, humble and sharp mouthed, like a prince but not quite. Quiet enough to keep her calm, but wild once he explodes, only leaving her breathless. Her organs burn with the idea of a competition in between the two, of ever being compared with one another, as she works hard on her next project with her back aching with every movement of her hands against the piece of paper she is drawing on.

Yet, her train of thoughts is stopped when she feels a pair of lips pressing to her cheek, plush and soft against it with the perfect amount of pressure. The white fabric of the straps of her dress are pulled down slightly so someone could rub on her tired shoulders and she knows it’s Sicheng, but he should have been asleep by now, not in her home-office taking care of her. “Go to sleep, it’s late.”

“You haven’t even eaten, let alone slept, and you want me to go to sleep?” His voice is hoarse and husky and he turns her around on the chair to look into her eyes, the air in her lungs being knocked out at the mere sight of him. She licks her lips when Sicheng parts his lips to indicate for her to open hers, slipping a cookie past her lips before holding her chin with his fingers to close her mouth. “You’re going to have dinner and then, we’re going to bed.”

“You used to hate me, why do you care so much now?”

“Because I’m your boyfriend now. I have to care about you.” Sicheng doesn’t let her complain, instead, he places his hands on the back of her moving seat to push her out of the room, making her squeal as she holds onto the chair, laughing at his antics.

“Hey, I have to finish that project!”

“Sorry, I can’t hear you.”

“Sicheng!”

However, it feels nice to have someone that loves her enough to take care of her, no matter how spoiled she can be, and even though he masks it as hate—the language of hate is complex to understand between the two.

[cela-astral-projection]

Aric/Aedan Vernersson Character Survey

Basic Character Questions

First name? Aric. Psuedoname is Aedan 

Surname? Vernersson 

Middle names? Axel 

Nicknames? Brother 

Date of birth? September 23rd 

Age? Early to mid-twenties (died around his 25th birthday), but he's quite responsible for a young man. 

 Physical / Appearance

Height? 6'3

Weight? 240

Build? Buff but still soft. 

Hair color? Pale yellow/white. 

Hairstyle? Long, thick and wavy hair that is usually pulled back 

Eye color? Silver 

Glasses or contact lenses?: He wears glasses when he has to do a lot of writing or reading for eyestrain, but other than that, he has excellent vision. 

Distinguishing facial features? He's not big on shaving, so he generally has some form of facial hair. 

Which facial feature is most prominent? His jawline. 

Which bodily feature is most prominent? His arms or his monster hands. 

Other distinguishing features? Bright silver eyes. 

Skin? Tawny brown, like his mother's. 

Hands? Ginormous meat hooks. 

Makeup? Not his thing. Lucio made him put on his eyeliner once. It melted in the sun, and he swore it off because it burned his eyes. 

Scars? His hands are a little rough, and he's got a few cuts up his arms, but nothing too pronounced. 

Birthmarks? Some darker brown pigmentation on the back of his arms. Pretty faint. 

Tattoos? He has some sun paintings (one on each pec) reminiscent of the rock art from his village on his chest in a dark sienna color.

Physical handicaps? Bone spurs on his heels, but that's just an annoyance. 

Type of clothes?: It depends on what he's doing. In the palace, he wears grey and charcoal with red and gold accents. When he's just going about his day, he wears lightweight linens in a rainbow of colors. 

What are their feet like? (type of shoes, state of shoes, socks, feet, pristine, dirty, worn, etc.) Like I said, the boy has bone spurs on his heels, so they were already giant monster feet, but that just adds to their length. He takes good care of his feet. He likes high-quality boots and shoes. (Unlike his sister who would go barefoot everywhere.)

Race / Ethnicity?: His father is from Lucio and Morga's tribe, and his mother is one of the southern tribes on the frozen sea. (A/N: for all intents and purposes, I write them as Swedes/Post-Spanish Mission  Chumash Indians because...that's what Kristen (Celeste) and Erik (Aric) are.) 

Are they in good health? Aric was always in generally good health. Until he wasn't... 

Do they have any disabilities? None to speak of. 

(image of Chumash Rock art for tattoo reference) 

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse? "Yeah, Bud!" 

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic 

Are they introverted or extroverted? Extroverted

Do they ever put on airs? Nope. You won't find a more chill, friendly guy. 

What bad habits do they have? Nail-biting and hair pulling (trichotillomania, but he has to be very, very anxious) 

What makes them laugh out loud?: So many things. And at inappropriate times. 

How do they display affection? Gifts, acts of service. 

How do they want to be seen by others? Reliable, approachable, trustworthy.

Strongest character trait? Seeing the best in others. 

Weakest character trait? Blind loyalty. 

How competitive are they? Very. 

How do they react to praise? He loves hearing praise and being told he's doing a good job. It gives him warm fuzzies. 

How do they react to criticism? He is very open to criticism as long as it's constructive. 

What is their greatest fear? Not being able to save his loved ones. 

What are their biggest secrets? He's an open book. Except for that whole...fake name-Lucio is my cousin thing. (Which he is not terribly good at hiding) 

What is their philosophy of life? How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

What haunts them? His mother's face when he left home. 

What will they stand up for? Anyone, anytime. 

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? Outdoorsy. 

What is their sinful little habit? He wouldn't consider it immoral, but he does indulge in some of the magician's...herbal remedies. 

What sense do they most rely on? Sight. 

How do they treat people better than them? As equals

How do they treat people worse than them? As equals

What do they consider an overrated virtue? Temperance.

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?   Probably would do better to realize that some people just can't be reached, but damned if he doesn't try. 

What is their obsession? Fishing and his dog. 

What are their pet peeves? People that touch his food without permission. Aedan doesn't share food! He will buy your food! NO TOUCH. (Though Celeste will note that he has no compunction about stealing her food.) 

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of?: Small. Mama, Papa, Sister, and Him. There is, of course, the extended family and his tribe, but the core group was relatively small. 

What is their perception of a family? Family is the most important thing. 

Do they have siblings? Older or younger?: One sister. Same age. 

Describe their best friend. Bit of a ditz. Funny (though it's unclear if he means to be). Dog lover. Drinking buddy. 

Ideal best friend? Someone not afraid to throw their stuff in a satchel and get lost for a day. Bonfire under the stars. Loves dogs. Not scared of touching fish. 

Do they have any pets? Ebba! Borzoi like M & M but with big brown patches and knows how to mind. 

 Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child?: He was a happy, inquisitive baby. He was rough and tumble, always on the go. Occasionally he’d scare himself (falling) but he only needed to be told that he was okay and he’d keep on going. 

Did they grow up rich or poor? They had no real need for money unless they were traveling, and then they mostly traded for what they needed.

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? Nurtured. 

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? Left them. Wasn't his idea, though. Still feels terrible.

What are their ambitions? Getting to be free and live his own life. 

What smells remind them of their childhood? Woodfire. Briny seawater. Spice. 

What was their childhood ambition? Be the head of the rowers that went out to the islands. 

What is their best childhood memory? Traveling with dad to the surrounding tribes and making friends with other kids. 

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? No. He had so many friends he didn't have time for imaginary ones. 

 Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? Maybe? His parents had an arranged marriage, and he thinks that's pretty fine.  He likes getting to know people to make sure that what he's feeling is real. 

How do they behave in a relationship? He's all about making his partner feel cherished and comfortable. He likes to move slow...ish. 

What sort of sex do they have? He's not exactly wild. But, he's open-minded. 

Has your character ever been in love? Sure. 

Have they ever had their heart broken? Nah. If he parts with people, it's amicable. 

 Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? Try to reason. If not, try to subdue with as little injury as possible. 

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? Fists, honestly. If it comes to that. Even then, he'd probably just try to wrestle and pin them. 

What is your character's kryptonite? The concept of someone he cares about being hurt. 

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? His dog. Not an object, but things aren't that important. 

How do they perceive strangers? Never met one. 

What are their phobias? Ophidiophobia, so it's probably good that he never really got to know Asra because Faust would have scared him to death. 

What is their choice of weapon? If he had to really fight, he'd use a one-handed battle-ax. 

What living person do they most despise? Valdemar, but living and person are both kinda uncertain terms. 

Have they ever been bullied or teased? No. Even if he was, it wouldn't bother him. 

Where do they go when they're angry? For a walk. 

 Work, Education, and Hobbies

What is their current job? Head guard of the palace. 

What do they think about their current job? Get to hang out with his bud most of the time, so that's pretty neat. Could do with less having to enforce his stupid decrees (which he finds ways around if he can.) 

What are some of their past jobs? Fisherman and hunter. 

What are their hobbies? Fishing, hunting, falconry, reading. 

Educational background? No formal education. Dad taught him how to read and write, but he didn't have much use for either of those skills until he came to Vesuvia. 

Intelligence level? Himbo-lite. 

Do they have any specialist training? Jack of all trades, master of none. 

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? Rowing and wrestling. 

What is their socioeconomic status? Upper class? Lucio pays well. 

 Favorites

What is their favorite animal? Ebba. 

Which animal to they dislike the most? Snakes. 

What place would they most like to visit? He'd like to travel like his dad did before his parents got married, but he's not picky. 

What is the most beautiful thing they've ever seen? Poppy fields! 

What is their favorite song? No Hurry - Zac Brown Band

Music, art, reading preferred? Reading but music is a close second. 

What is their favorite color? Green or blue. 

Favorite food: Grilled stuffed portobello mushrooms with bleu cheese. 

 Possessions

What is in their fridge: Beer, red wine (that hefty stuff that leaves long tendrils when you swirl it. he likes to chew his wine). Meat, cheese, mushrooms, bread, a lot of veggies. 

What is on their bedside table? Reading glasses and a book. 

What is in their pockets? Money. 

What is their most treasured possession? His dog. But calling her a possession feels terrible. 

 Spirituality

Do they believe in the afterlife? Sure. 

What are their religious views? He believes in spiritual guides, and he believes in magic. Though he is sadly more like his father than his mother in that he really can't cast.

Are they superstitious? He's a little 'stitious. 

What would they like to be reincarnated as? A peregrine falcon. 

How would they like to die? Not the way he did, that's for sure. That sucked. 

What is your character's spirit guide? Duckhawk! 

What is their zodiac sign? Libra. 

 Daily life

What are their eating habits? An army marches on their stomach. He always makes sure to have a decent breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 

Do they have any allergies? Just pollen. 

Describe their home. The palace. His room is pretty spartan. Bed, dresser, desk, couple side tables, mirror. 

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? Minimalist. 

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? Try to get to the bath before everyone else does. 

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? Nap or go for a hike out in the woods. 

What do they do on a Friday night? Drink with Lou. 

What is the soft drink of choice? If such a thing existed, it would be original Coke. 

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? He's an appreciator of fine whiskey and wine. But, he won't turn his nose up at a good ale or cider. 

 Miscellaneous

What is their character archetype? The hunter. 

Who is their hero? His dad. 

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? Thor. 

Are they comfortable with technology? Ehhhh. Not really. He can use it but would rather not. 

If they could save one person, who would it be? He couldn't pick. 

If they could call one person for help, who would it be? Linnea. 

What is their favorite proverb? Friendship is love with understanding. 

What is their greatest extravagance? Gifts. He buys gifts like the world will end tomorrow. 

Do they believe in happy endings? Sure. 

What would they ask a fortune-teller? Am I doing the right thing?

@vesuviasfastestcourier​ Will this help until I can write more Aedan fic? :)

[twotwinks]

a thing i was tagged in a long time ago by @rochc93. i am, believe it or not, attempting to catch up on these things. i always intend to do them but it’s either not a good time when i think about them or i’m not thinking about them. sorry i’m a mess

Who were you named after?

First name, nobody bitch. That’s all me. Middle name, like twenty different characters who are important to me but all on accident because I didn’t realize we shared the name until after I’d picked it. Notable instances include Rita Rose Vrataski from Edge of Tomorrow and also Amy Rose (a recent discovery). Last name, Gary King and also because I like confusing people about my gender by deliberately using a “male” title while presenting female (though hopefully not for much longer) and also being nonbinary. (Also s/o to ladies who call themselves king instead of queen. Yes I’m thinking of Kagamine Rin in the WanOpo songs Death Should Not Have Taken Thee and Our Adventure Log Has Vanished.)

Last time you cried?

two weeks ago to the day, when my dad let our dog Koko get hit by a car, things have been Extra Bad around here since then

Do you like your handwriting?

No. When I was little everyone always used to tell me how pretty it was but then I started trying to be a Serious Writer and my penmanship degraded as a result of how fast I had to get the words out of my head. Now my mom whines all the time about how messy and illegible my writing is.

What is your favorite lunch meat?

TURKEY

Longest relationship?

Umm....about two years ago for about three months-ish? I think? Maybe two months? I don’t know, we were dating for Christmas and then I broke up with him right before Valentine’s Day because my mental health couldn’t take it. I realized I was aro shortly after. Who would’ve guessed, huh?

Do you still have your tonsils?

Yep!

Do you bungee jump?

no and i never will

What is your favorite kind of cereal?

Dude this changes like monthly. Sometimes Honey Bunches of Oats. Sometimes Frosted Flakes. Sometimes I get a ridiculously strong craving for Strawberry Awake or Lucky Charms or Honey Nut Cheerios. I just get to eat cereal so infrequently that I can’t really have a favorite, I just have to indulge whatever craving I currently have because I only get the chance to eat one box every three months or so.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Yes because when I was little my mom ingrained into me that not untying my shoes first would ruin the backs of them way faster than they should. In all fairness we were poor and couldn’t afford to buy me new shoes that often because my feet are so sensitive that an actual comfortable pair costs $100.

Do you think you’re strong willed?

oh fuck no i mean have you ever spoken to me??? i’m the biggest baby pushover to ever live

Favorite ice cream?

Either that Death by Chocolate stuff they serve at Purdue’s dining courts sometimes or mint chocolate chip. It has to be green though or it loses something sdkhsdhk

What is the first thing you notice about a person?

Usually like their shirt, I guess? I don’t know, this isn’t something I’ve ever really thought about. Maybe it’s also if they have one of those annoying faces or voices. Or if they have a queer vibe. Look I’m not good with people ok.

Football or baseball?

Football but only because marching band and/or soccer

Favorite doughnut?

Okay this is going to sound weirdly specific but. Chocolate cake donut with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles. Also on a related note I once let a girl in high school copy my homework (that I myself had found the answers to on the internet, it was a really unfair English assignment). She was so happy that she said she’d buy me a donut for breakfast the next day (she made a donut run for herself once a week as a special treat). I gave her my oddly specific request, but since I knew it was kind of a rare donut to find I told her anything chocolate would work. The next day, lo and behold, she showed up with the perfect donut. She had them make it special for me (insert Discord’s pleading face emoji). That was the day I learned my lesson about judging “dumb blondes”.

What music are you listening to?

I’ve been back into Touhou doujin arrangements again lately, especially eurobeat. However I’m also hyperfixating on Sonic the Hedgehog again so the game soundtracks and the Crush 40 albums are starting to show up in my frequent rotation on Spotify.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

The obvious choice is mint green but I could also very easily be a lime green or a glittery ruby slippers red.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

I believe I talked to my grandma a little bit on my mom’s phone not that long ago? Other than that according to my phone it looks like I took a call from my dad back in April?

Hair color?

that real deep almost black brown. i nearly got into a fistfight with some boys in second grade who insisted my hair was black. it’s not black it’s just very thick. it actually looks much lighter if you just separate a smaller chunk and look at it.

Eye color?

Hazel. Brown with some green flecks. Or possibly green with some brown flecks. Also both of my irises look different up close but you can’t tell unless you’re really up in my face.

Favorite food to eat?

pasta but it can’t have red sauce

Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings all the way

Last film you watched in the cinema?

do you really expect me to remember this. i honestly do not fucking know. i have no brain when it comes to movie theaters. i was gonna do a double feature of birds of prey and the sonic movie the tuesday before spring break (cheap prices for students!!!) but i ended up having a headache that day so i couldn’t go and then shit hit the fan and there was no theatergoing. i have tried and failed to get my parents to rent the sonic movie since. i’m very unhappy about it now that i’m hyperfixating again.

What color shirt are you wearing?

well i think it used to be white but it’s really old so now it’s like off-white. also it has a big snake on the back. i don’t even like snakes i just enjoy this shirt.

Favorite holiday?

Christmas!!! I don’t necessarily actually enjoy celebrating the holiday (thanks fam) but I love the idea behind it and the aesthetics. Also it’s peppermint season!

Beer or wine?

Listen I am super picky about alcohol. I haven’t liked any of the wine I’ve tried, but the first two wines I had other people told me it was bad (and then they took me out and bought me alcohol I would actually like because I’d never drank before and apparently getting me tipsy in Ireland over spring break was an Honor for them I literally didn’t pay for a single drink that night) and the third wine I had was paired with the wrong type of food (we couldn’t get the Right wine bottle open). I didn’t really mind the beer I tried in Ireland though, so I guess beer? I really like cider best though, and apparently I can also handle vodka.

Night owl or morning person?

night owl i wish i could be nocturnal

Favorite day of the week?

Friday. It has all the joy and anticipation of the coming weekend without the curse of my dad being home or the responsibility of homework looming over everything.

Favorite animal?

HEDGEHOG yeah i never really got past that from when i was little. but i also just love pretty much all animals. except like. snakes and spiders but sometimes snakes have their moments.

Do you have a pet?

Yeah. We have a lot of “family” pets but I consider Patches (cat) and Gabby (dog) to be Mine Specifically. If my mom hadn’t forced me out of therapy I’d probably be bringing Patches with me to college next year as an emotional support animal.

Where would you like to travel?

Europe babey. I just wanna hang out in France and England and Scotland and also go back to Ireland. I miss Ireland so much y’all.

ok that’s it. that’s all for this one. i’m not tagging anyone because i’m sure it’s already made the rounds among everyone. but if it missed you and you still wanna do it go for it. consider yourself tagged. poof.

[kweebtrash]

Or Nah (M)

Messy Ch. 2

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (features other members)

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: drugs, anxiety attacks, night terrors

Features: POV changes, bathroom/rough sex, fingering, blowjobs

Word Count: around 14k

A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose.

Messy Masterlist  Buy me a Ko-Fi    Other Stories

Lucas Pov

My phone was vibrating against the glass top of the coffee table ripping me out of sleep. The incessant buzzing was driving me crazy especially since my head was still fuzzy from last night. I barely remember getting home...well to Quinn and Eri's place anyway. I groaned and slammed my hand on the table feeling around until my phone was in hand. I squinted an eye open, peeking at the influx of messages that continued to scroll about my screen. I opened the messenger app and read through the dozens of texts. Johnny had added me to the group chat shortly after I met him and Jaehyun during ‘Welcome Weekend’. It was how i had found out about their party and now it was how I found out that Eri had hooked up with Johnny. He was supposedly the “king of of one night stands” and Eri was just another one to be added to his list. Or that was how it would all start out. Clearly, Ten and Yuta had met their match once they started playing with her. I wouldnt be surprised if Johnny started drooling over her too.

There was something about Eri. I still hadn’t quite figured it out myself. She was far from my type-which is why I first got with Quinn. Quinn was soft, small, pale blonde and a little ditzy- perfect. Eri on the other hand was raw, loud, obnoxious, and volatile. Dominant yet bratty, needing to be in control of everything and the first to protect if needed. She always ended up “momming” Quinn and I no matter what. She was also gorgeous in a way I didn't often see back home- tattoos everywhere, her hair a mish mash of colors, her skin deep, rich and intoxicatingly sweet. She had managed to seduce every last one of us. We were putty in her hands. Eri and I were only friends but i would be lying if I failed to admit that there were times where all i thought about was being between her legs for days on end.

I sighed and finally sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I tossed my two cents into the group conversation and yawned deeply. The smell of something cooking caught my attention and i realized I was fucking starving. I looked over at the small kitchen and saw Eri standing in front of the stove in nothing but her underwear and a little ass tank top, looking like i should eat her for breakfast instead. I adjusted myself on the couch and opened my camera, zooming in close to get the best view. I grabbed a pic and sent it to the chat. They would all be jealous of me getting to see this first thing in the morning-afternoon….whatever.. “Babeeeeessss, whatcha making me?”

“I had some pancake mix in the back of the fridge that was still good so there's that. There’s also some left over pizza. Breakfast of champions.”

“You look like a hot little wifey cooking for me. Just saying.”

“You know what you could say? Nothing.” She came towards me with the plate of food. “Here.”

My camera was still open so i faced it towards us under the guise of taking a selfie but i turned my head towards her, just as i hit the button, giving her a kiss. I posted it to the group chat too just to see if i could piss Johnny off. “How's your vag?” I asked Eri as i sent the picture.

“I survived I guess. My thighs still fucking hurt.” I moved my legs so she could sit on the couch beside me.

“Was he better than me?” I asked just out of curiosity.

“Lucas, you know I dont compare anyone. But he didn’t go down on me so he's already losing, just saying.”

I picked up one of the pancakes and shoved it in my mouth. “Fuckin’ pussy.”

“Dont talk with your mouth full. You're gonna choke.” She grabbed her PS4 controller and turned on the console as well as the tv. She flipped through the apps pulling up Netflix. “You wanna watch something? Quinn said they'd be coming home soon but i don't know how true that is.”

“Heard she was at T.Y.’s place.” I replied in between chewing and shoving another pancake in my mouth.

“Yep. Fucking him this time, i guess.”

I swallowed and shrugged. “I'll ask her to take a shower before we fuck.”

“How gentlemanly of you, Lucas.” She scoffed and started typing in the name of whatever show she wanted to watch. I noticed the hickies that were covering her dark skin, blending in with the tattoos on her back and shoulders.

“Damn, he did a number on you.” I said leaning in closer to her and running my fingers along the bruises. She winced a bit and tugged away from me.

“It's fine. I've had worse.”

“Yeah like when Ten accidentally cut you so deep you had to get stitches and Quinn wanted to deck him.”

She inhaled sharply. “Not one of our best moments. I squirmed by accident so I guess it was my fault.”

“Or he could’ve not hurt you.” I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand before kissing her shoulder.

“Eh. Whats the fun in that?”

I kissed up her neck, resisting the urge to bite her and make my marks better than Johnny's. “I make you cum just fine without hurting you.”

“Question.” She said, turning to me. “Do you like choking me?”

“What? Uh...i mean...it gets you off right?”

“Yeah, but do you like it?”

I scratched at the back of my neck. “I mean….”

She sighed. “Nevermind.”

“Aww, Eri, don't be mad. I dont mind doing it for you!”

“It's fine. Im not mad.” She curled up against my chest, wrapping her arm around my waist, and setting her legs on my lap.

I rubbed her thighs slowly, going up and down the length of them and paying extra attention to her hips. “Did you try and get him to do it?”

“Yeah, well sorta. I didnt say it outright but i kinda hinted at it. He pulled his hand away like he didnt want to touch me.”

“Not for nothing Eri but you’re like the only chick who's like ‘CHOKE ME’ during the first fuck. It can be kinda scary and not everyone's into that.”

“Fuckin’ wack is what that is.” She laughed.

“Maybe he'll do it next time.”

“Next time?” She scoffed. “I doubt there’s gonna be a next time.”

“You'd be surprised.” I kissed the top of her head and kept her close, kind of wondering if I should ask her if she wanted to fuck. It was too much work to do anal right now but maybe she'd at least want it slow. I could do that. I slipped my fingers underneath the strap of her tank top moving it down her shoulder.

“Lucas.”

I hated when she said my name like that. It was like i was in trouble with my mom. I kept rubbing small circles on her thigh, pretending like i wasn’t doing anything. “Hmm? What?”

“Cut it out.” She was always much stricter with how much we fucked, unlike Quinn. Eri was picky and everything had to be on her terms, which was why i always got reprimanded. I knew she still couldn’t resist me, especially when i gave her my puppy dog look.

“I swear i'm not doing anything!”

She rolled her eyes and pushed away from me. “Not right now.” She got up from the couch and headed back towards the kitchen. I stuffed the last pancake in my mouth and followed after her.

“Come on! I'll go slow! It wont even hurt. You know i take good care of you.” I chewed faster and swallowed hard before she yelled at me again.

“My thighs are killing me. I don’t even think i have the strength to open them for you to eat me out.”

“Well...you wanna at least suck me off?” She glared at me so hard that I stepped back in case her fist wanted to connect with my stomach. She was always an aggressive lover. “S-sorry…”

“You'd probably taste like pool water and sweat. No thanks.”

“Ok, you can pull one of my numbers and ask me to shower before hand. It's just...you know how i get in the morning, babes.” i pouted at her, starting my puppy dog stare.

“Don’t look at me like that. You know i hate that.”

“Pretty please? Pleaaassseeeeeee.”

She set her little hand on my face, smooshing me away. “I dont have time. I have band practice tonight and it starts soon.”

“Just a quick one i promise!! I'll be done fast!”

She groaned. “Lucas, seriously??” She rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine! FINE! I don’t know how you always convince me.”

“Because you can’t resist me, that's why.” I gave her a quick kiss before running towards the bathroom to shower. Honestly, i should probably bring my shower stuff to their house at some point so I could stop smelling like vanilla, and cookies, and marigolds or whatever they used. I chucked off my shorts, tossing them in the corner where Eri could get them and do the laundry for me later. I grabbed my toothbrush and slapped some toothpaste on it before getting in the shower. I turned it on full blast, preferring a cold shower than the usual depths of hell i had to suffer through when i showered with Eri or Quinn.

“Some random person added me on snapchat! Do you know a DJJ0209?!” i heard her yell at me. I almost choked on my toothbrush. I hoped the running water hid the sound of my laughter.

“Oh...no! I dont! Did you add them?!” i called back out to her before spitting toothpaste down the drain.

I could tell she was responding but i had no idea what it was. It was hard to hear her now with my head fully under the water. Hopefully it wasnt too important. I finished brushing my teeth and moved onto washing my hair, trying to get chlorine smell out of it.

“Did you hear me earlier?” her voice appeared from inside the bathroom.

“No, all i heard was someone random added you on snapchat. Who was it?”

“I have no clue. Probs some weirdo from online. I'm just gonna block it.”

“No,” i tried to keep a straight face even though she couldn’t see me behind the curtain. “Just accept it. I'm sure it's fine.”

“What the hell!? I got another one….wait this one has a little character thing. Kinda looks like Taeil…”

“Just accept them both. Who knows maybe you'll find the love of your life.” I snorted.

“Hmm yes how romantic. Mommy, daddy, How did you meet? Well son, your father sent me a dick pic on snapchat and I was so in love we instantly got married.”

“Aww, you're like a real life Cinderella.”

She hit the shower curtain, trying to get at me. “Shut up, dumbass. I have to leave here by 6, and it's a little after 4:30 now.”

“I'm coming! You wont be late.”

“Mhm.” I could hear her walking back out of the bathroom. I finished rinsing my hair and washed up quickly. I was done in a few minutes, pulling back the shower curtain to see that Eri had left a fresh towel on the toilet. She was seriously the best. I dried off a bit then wrapped the towel around my waist, heading back over to the couch. She was laying on her stomach, feet crossed at her ankles in the air and typing furiously on her phone. I leaned over the back of the couch and trailed my hand over her lower back, watching her tense for a second. She was way warmer than my hands were. I couldn’t help but wish I could play with her a bit before she left.

“You're freezing.” She said as she set her phone beside mine on the coffee table.

“It's too hot. I felt sticky.” i moved around the couch, taking my place beside her again. She scooted closer to me, her hand tugging at the towel and pulling it open.

“Let’s get this over with.” She said.

“Gee, dont sound so enthused.” I rolled my eyes as she giggled at me. In a way i knew she was joking but also she was probably ready to get going to band practice. It was important to her but so was i. She would make time for me. I cupped her face in my hands, pulling her close for a heated kiss while her hand fell between my thighs and groped my cock. I licked her lips before she let me in, my tongue filling up her mouth and making her squirm a bit. I loved the way it felt when we kissed. She was always a tease, hungry yet slow, or fast and harsh. You never knew what you were going to get. Whenever i could get a soft little moan out of her, it would go straight to my cock, making me breathe harder and want to fuck her for hours on end just to coax more out.

I slid my hand down her back, moving down to cup her ass. It was one of my favorite things about her. There was nothing better then seeing how good it looked while i fucked her from behind, better yet when i fucked her ass. I tried pulling her onto my lap but she let out a strained whimper.

“Careful…” She whispered. Ok, note to self, beat the shit out of Johnny next time i saw him for making my Eri so sore. I let go of her ass and opted for her hip again while my other hand slid under her tank top. I was already half hard, giving her some room to start stroking. I opened my legs wider as she rubbed her thumb over my head in slow circles making every nerve feel electrified. I was already wiggling my hips towards her palm, parting my lips to feed a deep groan down her throat. She already knew everything i loved, everything that turned me on, everything that could make me cum. She guided her kisses to my neck, sucking on my jugular just a bit before pressing her lips down my chest.

I relaxed my head back against the couch, my nails digging into the armrest when i felt her lips surrounding me. She eased herself down, little by little, stroking what she couldn't fit in her mouth. Her tongue circled around my head and she popped off it completely to kiss up and down my shaft. Her kisses slipped down to my balls, tongueing them just enough to make me almost lose my cool. I thrusted my hips more as i tried to get her to take me back in. She looked up at me, that same controlling look in her eye.

“You gonna behave?” She asked, raising a brow.

I licked my lips and looked at at her. “Are you?”

She sat up and pulled away from me. “I'll stop right now, Lucas. I swear.”

“No you wont.” I dared.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Oh really?”

“Mhm.” i moved closer towards her, angling my head for a kiss which I knew she would pull away from. In that instant i grabbed her neck making it disappear in the coverage of my hand. Her whole body relaxed and her face fell into an expression of bliss. Her eyes were practically rolling back in her head as her giddy giggles became strained when i closed my fingers around her tighter. It was scary as all hell to do this and it wasn’t necessarily something I enjoyed but seeing how good it made her feel got me going even more. Over time i got used to it, especially when she'd clench around me and scratch at my back, her body begging me to choke her harder. “Keep sucking, babes. It feels so good when I'm in your mouth.” i swiped my thumb over her full bottom lip, watching as her tongue poked out to lick it.

I let her go then and she eased back down, sucking faster this time. Her cheeks were starting to hollow out dragging more moans out of me. I set my hand on the back of her head, adding just enough pressure to keep her in place. I trailed my other hand down her back, sliding one of my fingers underneath her panties to feel how wet she was. She was trying to squirm away from from me but i let my finger slide slowly up and down her lower lips, rubbing each drop of slick through her folds and around her clit. I shushed her gently, telling her that i just wanted to make her feel good. I loved when she came with me and i was hoping she would swallow if i had her distracted enough.

I made circles on her bundle of nerves with just the tip of my middle finger, finally managing to get a louder moan out of her. The timbre from those cute sounds were enough to make my toes curl. I choked back her name, opting to keep quiet for now so I could concentrate. Her warm hand cupped my balls then, squeezing each one slightly as her thumb pressed into the sensitive points. I was already starting to throb in her tight mouth and it was making my nails dig into her scalp harder. I felt her wiggle her hips, reminding me that my finger was still in her panties. I rocked my finger through her wetness one last time before pushing it in slowly. I let her fuck herself on it as much as she wanted, leaving her to control the pace while i focused on my impending orgasm. “Eri...fuck…” i whispered.

She pulled off in one slow drag, rolling my precum over her tongue. “You know the drill.”

I groaned. “Please, Eri? Please? Just this once? I promise i’ll-”

“No. You know the rules.”

“But Quinn-”

“Then you should've asked Quinn.” she snapped back.

I dodged her glare and nodded in defeat. One day I was going to get her to swallow but for now i guess i had to cum on myself….again. She switched out her mouth with her hand, fisting the head of my cock before sliding down my shaft and giving it a squeeze. Cum was already starting to dribble down her hand as her hold on me tightened and loosened with each stroke. She pressed her chest to mine, bringing my head closer to cover her neck in kisses and miniscule bites. Her nails were digging into shoulder ever so slightly and her angry, commanding tone melted into that dangerously sweet voice.

“Come on, baby boy. Cum for me.” she cooed.

I held onto her then, so fucking tight, trying to bury my scream into her skin. I felt my stomach heat up as i came all over myself, my thigh muscles tensing. I swallowed back, panting against her chest as i worked through the tail end of my high. She kissed the top of my head, running her fingers through my hair, until I regained my composure.

“I gotta get dressed now.” She said, wiping her hand on the towel. I slid my hand out of her panties and groaned as i looked up at her.

“Stay for a bit…”

“I cant, its’ already about to be five. Quinn's gonna be home soon and you should actually get to your dorm sometime soon. You have class tomorrow.”

“Fuck class…”

“If you skip i'm gonna beat your ass.” She slid off the couch and headed to her room. She didn’t bother closing the door as she pulled her tank top over her head and dropped her panties. I had to look away, knowing i would make a bigger mess if i kept staring.

--

Eri's PoV

I shoved open the apartment door, kicking off my boots that were starting to dig into my feet. It felt so good to be home instead of a tiny garage sweating my ass off. I lugged my guitar and amp back to my room trying to ignore the loud moans coming from Quinn's room. I set my instrument down in the little sacred corner I set up where it wouldn't be disturbed, making sure to keep my cords wrapped up. Now that I was finally in the semi-peacefulness of my room I could take off the clothes that seemed to be glued to me. I pulled off my shorts, taking my phone out of my back pocket. I hadn’t checked it in hours and i could see the screen full of notifications. One caught my eye in particular. I clicked on the little bell which opened up my snapchat. There was one photo notification from the username i didnt recognize from this afternoon. I was going to scream if it was a dick pic. I dont even know why i thought it was a good idea to listen to Lucas and accept the request.

I braced myself as i clicked on it, waiting for the worse, even closing my eyes a bit. But it wasn’t bad. In fact...it was just Johnny. Johnny?? I gripped my phone tighter, pulling it closer to my face to examine the cute puppy filter on his black and white selfie, a simple caption of ‘hey’ towards the bottom of the screen. I couldn’t help the smile that tugged on my lips. He looked incredibly cute and definitely less like an annoying fuckboy. My heart started beating faster as i realized i should respond to him. I looked like a mess and i had no idea what i should i take a picture of. My room wasn't that clean, my face was meh at best and it was way too early for ass pics. I stared into my full length mirror, accessing the damage of my makeup. With my crappy room lighting and the use of a hundred filters I could potentially pull off a worthwhile selfie to send.

I angled my phone from above and mulled through the filters, finding a cute cat one that smoothed out my face to an angelic glow and made me have giant doe eyes. When i was satisfied i snapped the pic and typed in ‘Hey yourself’ as the caption. I expected him to leave me on read for most of the night and moved onto the other notifications i had. There was a text message from Yuta showing off new hot pink rope he had gotten (one of my favorite colors), a text from Taeyong telling me that Quinn had left their vest there (which im sure he texted just to have an excuse to talk to me), and a comment from Ten on my latest instagram selfie i took at practice (when my makeup was not so gross). I went to work answering them making the minutes pass by, keeping my mind off the thought of waiting for Johnny’s response. Thankfully, the waiting was short lived.

It was another picture but this one wasn’t so innocent and cute. His shirt was halfway up his torso, exposing his abs and the trimmed line of hair that trailed below his belly button and disappeared under the waistband of his Supreme briefs that were barely covered by his sweatpants. They did no justice in hiding the thick bulge beneath. His caption this time was ‘wyd?’. I stared at the picture so intently that my eyes started to blur a bit. I hadn’t even noticed i was holding my breath until my chest struggled to expand. He was reminding me exactly why i ended up in his bed last night and why i still felt the ache in my thighs.

I wasn't going to snap him back this time. No way. I knew exactly what he was doing- just trying to get me back in his bed. I wasn't going to fall for it. I was going to let him think that i wasn't desperate and let him suffer. I set my phone face down on my bed and pulled off my fishnet stockings and my shirt, tossing them in my hamper. I whipped off my bra and pulled on the tank top i had earlier, returning to my comfy pj state. Flopping onto my mattress, i laid back and reached for the headphones that always resided beside my pillow. They were my prized possession, complete with perfect outside noise cancellation. I opened up my spotify and hit shuffle on one of my favorite albums, sighing contently as Quinn and Lucas’ moaning was finally blocked out. I set my phone on my stomach and closed my eyes. I could use another nap to be honest…

But first…

I opened up my snapchat again succumbing to the victory of being the last one to send a teasing picture. I put the hem of my tank top cheekily between my teeth while i pressed my boobs together, making them fuller and have optimum cleavage. My caption was just a response to his question; ‘nothing much. Hbu?’.

I was too damn weak for him. I knew what the hell was under his sweatpants already but somewhere deep in the back of my mind, no matter how much i tried to ignore it, i had been thinking about the way he felt inside me. The dull ache, his long fingers, every bite of his perfect teeth on my skin, the small growls that made every one of my hairs stand on end. I thought there wouldnt be a next time- That i would just have to chalk him up to another one night stand- but now i knew he was interested in something a little more and i could play my favorite game of cat and mouse.

I set my phone back on my stomach opting to focus on the music. My nails drummed against my phone case following the beat of the heavy bass. It felt like an internal clock was ticking, reminding me like an annoying little devil that I was desperate for a response. Minutes turned into a half hour, a half hour turned into  an hour. I gave up on my ability to wait when Lucas banged on my door, loud enough to shake me from half asleep stupor. He was asking me to drive him back to his dorm. I didn’t bother putting my shorts back on. Instead i trudged to the front door in just my panties, sliding on my flipflops as we made our way out to the parking lot. The both of us were yawning as we got into my car, the passenger seat was still all the way back from when he got in three days ago.

“Had fun?” I asked. I could tell he was getting drained. Having sex non stop was going to run him right into the ground. He and Quinn were always hot messes like that. And I got called the stuck up one because my relationships were slightly more calculated.

“Yeah…” He grumbled.

“How many you'd get out?”

“2...Quinn got 5.”

“Oh boy. Let me guess, you didnt eat since I fed you either, right?” He didn't answer. I sighed and took a right turn away from the dorms and towards the strip of fast food places downtown.

“Where you going?”

“To get you food.” I flicked him in the temple, making him wince. “You need to eat and stop thinking with your dick so much.”

“Yes, Eri.” He sighed as set his head on his open faced palm, staring out the window. I pulled into a Taco Bell, rubbing his knee to pull him out of his sleepy daze. He gave me his order which seemed to be a whole laundry list of calories and fat. I pulled up to the next window and automatically reached for my debit card only to realize that i had left it at the apartment inside my shorts.

“Fuck.” I whispered.

Lucas dug into his pocket and handed me his card from his wallet. I started to protest but he just gave me a small smile. “I owe you. Dont worry about it. Youre always taking care of me anyway.”

I took his card and handed it over to the employee, waiting for his order. I felt his warm hand slip into mine giving it a little squeeze. “Dont start that gay shit.” I joked. He was always so clingy, loving, and sweet and I...liked to suppress everything I could about my emotions. Somehow he always found a way to bring something caring and nurturing out of me. He was so far from home that within the year or so that Quinn and I had known him, we became his family. Sure we all fucked but it just...kinda worked that way. I could be his best friend and caregiver and we could also connect physically to a point where it was neutral. He knew i would never want a relationship with him and that was for the best.

“Dont lie, Eri. Somewhere between your big tits you have a heart and not some black void like you pretend to have.”

“Excuse you, you leave my black void alone. It's fine just the way it is. I'm going to keep it that way.”

“Admit it. In there you have love for me and Quinn. And probably Johnnnyyyyyyyy~”

“Oh, grow up.” I scoffed. “Besides he's the one who wants it more than i do. It was him who sent me the request this afternoon and he’s already sent me a slutty snap.” i replied, grabbing the bag of food from the worker and handing it over to Lucas.

“Ohhh so that’s who that was? Shocker.”

“Yeah, you knew it was him, you little shit.”

“I’m your wingman, babes. You'll thank me later.”

I pulled out of the drive through and headed back in the direction of his dorm building. “I doubt that but ok. I dont even know if i'm gonna fuck him again.”

“You will.” he replied before shoving a burrito in his mouth. I pulled up to the building shortly after, ignoring his little quip and setting myself in park.

“Here we are, kid.”

He swallowed hard, licking his fingers of cheese sauce. “Can i come over next weekend?”

“I'm gonna be busy with Yuta on Saturday so see what Quinn says.”

“Ugh, fine.” He leaned in close and gave me a soft kiss, holding it for a bit longer than usual. “See you around!” He got out the car, taking his bag of food and backpack with him. I waited until i saw him disappear into the building before taking off. My phoned buzzed from within my cup holder and i wondered if it was Johnny. I waited until i came across a red light before stealing a glance at my phone. My mouth went dry as soon i saw his username on my screen. I wanted to see what he had sent so bad but if it was too good i didnt want it to happen while i was in the car and distracted.

I zoomed down the street, my foot a little bit heavier on the gas pedal than necessary. I was home in a flash, almost drifting into a parking space before taking the steps to my apartment two at a time. I unlocked the door and rushed in, surprised to see Quinn hobbling out of their room.

“Now i know how you feel with Johnny. My thighs are killing me.”

“Speaking of Johnny.” I spat out excitedly. “He added me on snapchat and his last snap to me was him in sweatpants with his dick print all perfect and his abs out and shit. I wanted to die. And now he just sent me another one and since you’re done with Lucas you can see it.”.

“God i hope it's his dick. Will you let me see his dick? I want to see his dick.”

I shrugged and clicked on his notification. “i guess we'll see- holy fucking shit.”

I could barely see his face, only his lips curling into a smirk as his monstrous hand groped at his bulge, giving it a quick shake. God it was so gross yet here i was salivating over it. His caption was ‘thought about how good you felt’. The 10 second clip was gone almost instantly but the view was already ingrained in my mind.

“Well if youre not gonna go over there and fuck him i will.” Quinn said.

“I’d rather you kinda….didn't.” I  looked down at them as a little bit of awkwardness sparked between us.

They pouted and crossed their arms. “You're gonna hog all that to yourself?! That's so unfair!”

“Ok, i know were pretty open about who we fuck because were in the same social circle but we kinda share Yuta and Lucas already! And i'm pretty sure Taeyong is up my ass again too, so that’s three guys! Let me have this ONE.”

“Ugh!! You’re getting soft! Was his dick that good that it went straight to your head and made you loopy?! We’re supposed to use them and leave! That’s it.”

“I know! I mean i usually leave right after when I’m with Ten and Yuta, i dropped Taeyong entirely, and Lucas hangs around here constantly so i can’t do much about that. You're the one that usually kicks him out. I dont know...i just…”

“You like him?!”

“I do not! I just like his dick! And maybe his lips….and his eyes...and his arms. And his tummy is cute too. His butt looks suuuuper good and-”

“You're weak, Eri. Promise me you will only use him for his dick. He's a dumb fuckboy who doesn’t deserve you.” Quinn said.

“I know that! And it’s gonna stay that way. Trust me. I'm not even going to answer him back. I’m tired so i’m heading to bed. I’ve got an early class anyway.”

“Yeah you do that. Between Jae, Taeyong, and Lucas, i’m pooped. I'm gonna stay home tomorrow.”

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes their will to not do anything successful with college was irritating. “Ok well you do that. Just be quiet if you're going to stay up late.” i said as i disappeared into my room and curled up in bed. What i said was partially true; i wasn't going to answer Johnny back. Well not now at least. He made me wait an hour before answering me. I was petty enough to make him wait twice as long for my response. I decided to set a timer as a reminder to get up and take a cute pic of my ass. But first a quick nap would do me good.

--

My alarm shook me out of my sleep, the heavy guitar riff scaring the crap out of me. I felt around for my phone groaning as i lifted my head off my pillow to shut it off. I blinked a few times bringing the time into view. It was 7:30 am. I totally missed my timer to respond back to Johnny and i didn't have time to take something sexy now. There were no other notifications from him either. I only had a few texts from my harem and a good morning selfie from Lucas. Glad he was actually going to class at least.

I forced myself out of bed and started getting ready. Shower, brushing my teeth, getting makeup on my face so i looked semi alive and like i didnt want to throw myself out a window. I picked out a random pair of leggings and a cut up band tee. That would suffice for today. I pulled on my worn out converses and grabbed my backpack, stuffing my headphones and laptop in it. I put some deodorant on and tossed it in my bag as well. I still had a decent amount of time to get to the commuters parking lot and head to the dungeon of journalism buildings. Once i got there, it only took a few minutes to find my classroom. It was a tiny box of a room with barely any air conditioning and older wooden desks. I plopped down in the middle aisle, already feeling my thighs stick to the chair.

Waiting for class to start was a pain. I was hungry and wanted coffee. I would maybe have some time to go to the Starbucks downtown before my next class. I didnt really have Starbucks money to spare but i needed a pick me up. Other students started shuffling in as the 9 o’ clock mark crept closer. Our professor still hadn’t shown up yet. The general consensus was 10 minutes without a teacher and you were free to leave. Please let me leave, i begged silently. If I didn’t cave in and get Starbucks I could sleep in a bit more in one of the quiet rooms in the library. I had some heavy decisions to weigh out within the next five minutes before I was able to book it.

I was watching the time tick on my phone when i saw a notification from snapchat. Oh fuck…It was Johnny. I opened it quickly, covering my phone just in case it was some sort of morning wood pic. I started wondering, just for a moment, if he slept in those sweats or completely naked. When i looked down at the picture it was actually of me sitting at my desk. The caption was ‘Ur not even gonna say hi? Lol’. I straightened up and whipped my head around trying to see where the fuck he was. I saw his smirk from the back right corner of the room, sunglasses over his eyes as he gave me a little head nod and stuck his tongue out. I whipped back around in my seat, trying to hide the blush that splattered across my cheeks.

Of course he would have class with me. Of fucking course. I had no idea what to do. Would this be awkward for us if we kept fucking? I could just ignore him for the entire semester. Pretend that any emotion towards him didn't exist and that we hadn’t fucked. While i was building my exterior facade into a sturdy wall my interior was crumbling with panic. I started furiously texting Quinn, even though i knew they weren't awake, just to get my internal screaming out. How was i supposed to get away from him now?! I had to look at those stupid gorgeous lips and thick thighs every single day of fall semester! All i could do was pray that the professor still didn't show up. My foot was furiously bouncing in anticipation of my freedom and potential to leave Johnny in the dust.

Unfortunately, i didn't get my wish. The professor came in then, huffing, puffing, and way too flustered. I set my head on the table and groaned, barely ready to suffer through the next hour and a half. Every once in awhile it would feel like Johnny was watching me but each time i looked back i was sure he was sleeping behind his sunglasses. He was probably up partying too late last night again. i caught him rubbing his eyes and yawning, looking so soft and sleepy. My lips tugged into a smile, that gooey, sickly sweet feeling returning to my stomach. I needed that to stop. I sighed and looked down at the syllabus that had been passed out. No one actually gave a crap about these. We just needed to know the due dates and what stupid projects we had. Time droned on but luckily we were let out a little early.

I stood up quickly, grabbing my bag and heading straight for the door, not bothering to look back to see if Johnny was on my tail. I got my answer either way when i felt an arm around my shoulders steering me towards the rows of rentable lockers. “So you are definitely ignoring me, right?” I heard him ask.

I groaned internally. “Not necessarily. I mean i couldn't just get up in the middle of class and ride your dick.” I kept myself in front of him, shuffling my weight from one foot to the other and gripping the strap of my backpack tightly.

“Definitely would have been better then going through another fucking syllabus. Like we dont know how to read.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, when’s your next class?”

“Why?” I asked curiously.

He looked around for a second before leaning against the lockers. “Wanna hook up again? I need a quickie.”

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me. “Oh you need one, huh? Damn, didn't think you'd be the needy type Johnny.”

He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. “Let me put it this way then. I want to fuck and you’re the only one that’s here right now. Hows that sound?”

“Sounds like you're still thirsty from when I didn't answer your snap last night.”

“Don't know why you're playing hard to get when you weren’t that hard to get in my bed on Saturday.”

“And you definitely aren't hard to wrap around my finger.” I shot back, glaring at him as our bodies edged closer to each other.

“I’m hardly wrapped around your finger.” His almost hissed as he leaned in.

“You're here wanting to fuck me again, aren't you?” I crossed my arms and smirked up at him, knowing I had bested him in his little shade contest.

He dragged his tongue over his teeth and scoffed.  He looked away for a second, probably trying to recoup his ego. “Look, you want it or nah? I don’t have time to waste”

I got my phone out of my bra and flicked on the screen, pretending to see if I had enough time for him. My next class still wasn’t for another hour and a half. I could squeeze in a quickie. Besides if this perked me up then I could save a few bucks on coffee. I let out an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I have some free time. You got a condom?”

He patted his shorts, grabbing his wallet from his back pocket before flipping it open and checking the money pocket. “Yep.”

“I’m not about to fuck you with some old ass condom you’ve had in your wallet since you were like 16.”

“I just put it in there the other day, stupid. Anyway, where you wanna go?”

“Third floor has private bathroom. Normally that floor is pretty empty until later on in the afternoon. Follow me.”

I slipped in front of him, trying my best to make sure he had a view of my ass in the leggings that left little to the imagination. Besides if I lead the way I wouldn’t have to struggle as much to keep up with his long strides. We maneuvered up the stairs, flowing around the clog of students shifting classes. When we got to the third floor it was mostly clear as I had expected but I still looked around to see if anyone would possibly notice us. Johnny didn’t care, however. He sprinted ahead of me, swinging the door open the to single stall. “Come on already. No one’s gonna see.”

I sighed and scurried over to him, bouncing into the room and rushing him to close the door. He rolled his eyes as he set his backpack down and locked the door. “What? You think we’re gonna get in trouble out something? A bathroom isn’t the same as the student affairs office.”

“Shut up, asshole. I just want to be sure no one is going to interrupt us is all. I don’t have time to hear you whining about blue balls or some shit.”

“Whatever, scaredy cat. Let’s get this over with.” He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it by his backpack.

“Let’s get this over with? You know I can just leave you here to jerk off if that’s how you’re gonna be.”

“Yeah but you wont.” He grabbed the strap of my backpack and forced me close to him, my head almost ramming into his chest. I braced myself against him, about to bombard him with profanities when his hands cupped either side of my face. His head came down to connect our lips and I melted then, hungry to satisfy my addiction that already developed for his sensual kisses. I clung to his waist tight as we melded together. His tongue slipped out to massage my own, sucking it into his mouth to control every aspect of our tangle. He retreated his hands from my face and worked to shove my backpack off and drop it beside us. I had begun to claw at the waistband of his shorts while he grabbed a hold of my hair. His other hand rested on the small of my back, making sure i was crushed against him. My breath was barely able to escape with how close we were and his lips not breaking from mine. I managed to pop open the button of his fly while he moved us backwards, trapping me between his well built frame and the bathroom wall. I pulled away finally, gulping down air that he threatened to take away again.

“You like shoving me against shit, don’t you?” i panted heavily.

He licked his lips, lowering himself even more to kiss at my neck. “I like having you exactly where i want you. Plus, it's hot to see you stand on your tiptoes just to try and kiss me.”

“I'm pretty sure you just like me being short because my mouth is closer to your dick.”

“I mean that too.” He chuckled lowly before wrapping his lips around my collarbone to draw blood to the surface. “We can test that out if you want.”

“If i'm good at giving head?”

He small groan against my shoulder. “Yeah. That.”

“Well…” I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him back, switching our positions to have him pinned to the wall. “I haven't had any complaints yet.” Johnny looked a little surprised, yet excited at the prospect of me sucking him off. His eyes were fixated on me, on my lips, as i trailed passionate kisses down his stomach and nipped at his iliac's crest. In a split second, his shorts were around his ankles and my knees followed them to the ground. I was mostly confident in my ability to pleasure him until a sickening feeling started bubbling in my mind. How the hell he was even remotely going to fit into my mouth? I could barely take him inside me without minutes on end of preparation. Now he expected me to shove him down my throat? I swallowed hard when the outline of his dick trapped in his boxer briefs stared me down.

“You just gonna sit there or-?” he snapped.

I realized he had been waiting for me to start. My heart was thundering already as I tried to conceive of a way to swallow him down comfortably. I sighed internally and just decided to bite the bullet. I rested my hands on his hips kissing the outline of his cock through his underwear. His breath stilled as his eyes closed and his head dipped back ever so slightly. I kissed the head of his cock, sucking gently and tonguing around the thickness. My hands wandered from his hips to his ass, grabbing a hold of his firm cheeks. I heard him let out a small laugh before pulling my hands away, making me pout.

“What's up with you girls and my ass? Ya”ll are always grabbing it.” he said.

“Not for nothing but it’s pretty cute and if you want me to enjoy sucking your dick even more, you should probably let me do it.” I yanked my hands from his and pulled down his underwear swiftly, revealing what made me scared yet lustful. He was rolling his eyes, preparing to retort with another quip when i wrapped my lips fully around his head. He exhaled softly instead, making the easiest of thrusts into my mouth as he started getting hard. My mouth was expanding to accommodate being fuller and I tried swallowing around him, inching my way down gradually. My eyes were already squeezed shut, my chest heaving as i forced myself to breathe through my nose.

The groan that came out of him was definitely a bit louder and deeper than what i heard during our last hookup. It was followed by a much softer ‘keep going’ as his long fingers came to rest on my shoulder. His thumb stroked my jugular, keeping me steady against him. My body relaxed a bit more as i felt the warmth of his hand so close to my neck. I was leaning into him again, wanting to feel the constriction of my air supply. I was able to swallow down more, barely half way but better than what i expected. I worked a hand around his base, giving a small squeeze before starting rhythmic strokes. My fingers met my lips as I flowed between sucking and stroking, trying my best to coax those rumbly groans out of him once more.

His thumb finally pressed into the front of my throat and I could feel the pressure every time i swallowed back. My grip on his ass tightened my nails digging into the muscles and leaving small marks behind. I wrapped a small moan around the tip of his cock as I felt the beginning drops of precum coat my taste buds. He hissed softly as he slipped the condom from his pocket into my hand. “Hurry…”

I smirked, releasing him from my mouth and tearing the foil open. “Still so needy, Johnny~”

He turned his eyes away from me. “Just hurry up and make me cum.”

“Hah, funny. I'm the one who should be cumming before you, asshole.”

“If you earn it.” He guided my hand towards his dick, commanding me to roll the condom on. 

I scoffed, pinching the tip of the rubber as i rolled it down his shaft. “If I earn it? You’re seriously bad at trying to be the one in charge.” I lied. His sharp tongued quips and deep tone was sending shivers down my spine. I wanted him to control me, command me, and have me fight tooth and nail against him.

Johnny grabbed me by my arms, hauling me up to my feet and harshly pulling down my leggings. I couldnt even say anymore before his fingers were down my panties. His middle finger was coyly circling my entrance and I knew he was just trying proving his point. Specifically, when his finger made one slow drag up to my clit before sliding back down again. “You were saying?”

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. “Instead of annoying me with your smart ass mouth and your boring repeated tricks, why don’t you repay the favor by eating me out?”

He looked down at me, wrinkling his nose in a face of disgust. “Nah, i'm cool.”

Excuse me?? What? Did he really just deny eating me out? What kind of nonsense was that?!

“Why not? I literally just sucked your dick. It's the least you could do.” i almost growled. I would have much rather had him go down on me and not be such a jerk about it. Maybe i was spoiled. Every single one of my other partners would do it for me, from Taeyong to Quinn to Lucas and everyone in between. Johnny was the worst exception and my mind still toyed with the idea of leaving him here to get off on his own. I felt his finger dip into me again, trying to distract me from my tirade of angry thoughts. I hated him for all the convincing he was doing by filling me with his thick long fingers, furling and unfurling at a pace that made me squirm against him. My anger was slowly dissolving and my hips were grinding into his palm with each thrust. His breath brushed against my ear while his other hand tugged on the hem of my tee.

“Off, now.” He purred against me.

His command was better and more convincing this time. The timbre of his voice made my thighs clench just a bit and brought out the worst in my bratty personality. “Make me.”

I didn’t expect him to laugh in my face. “What are you, twelve? Just take it off.”

“Shut up! You're the one trying to command me and shit!.”

“I thought that's what you liked? Or is that only when you're tied up with your legs open?” He pulled his fingers out of me, my juices glistening under the fluorescent lighting. I stared at them, my tongue coming to drag over my bottom lip as tension filled the minimal space between us. I swallowed back when i saw the way he was looking at me, irritated yet primal in a way. He gave another tug on my shirt and i didnt question it this time. I pulled it over my head, along with my bra, and dropped it to the floor, never taking my eyes off him as he gripped my chin and pushed his cum covered fingers passed my lips.

The way he filled my mouth so easily had me clawing at his waist to keep him against me. My tongue worked over each digit, sucking my taste off before forcing myself down to his knuckles. His brows furrowed as he watched, concentrating on every movement and the way I grabbed at his wrist as if I was pleading to never pull away. I did however manage to regain myself enough to send a taunting question his way. “Remember when you said you were going to finger me so hard you would have me cumming in minutes? That didn't happen last time. Gonna make up for your lie?”

“i wasn’t lying but since you want to test me so bad bend over the fucking sick then, smartass.”

He shoved me towards the sink so fast that I struggled to kick off my converses and leggings so i wouldn't trip. I grabbed onto the sides of the sink, glaring back at Johnny through the mirror that was bolted above it. “You don't have to push me.”

“Aw baby,” he cooed as he lifted my knee onto the edge of the sink. “Dont lie, i know you love this. I’m gonna make you cum all over my cock.”

“Pause. Big pause. Don’t ever, and i mean, EVER say that. It's gross and literally the most unsexy thing someone could ever say.”

He shrugged, his voice dropping in tonality. “Usually girls want me to say shit like that.”

“Get it through your thick skull that i’m not one of your little chickenheads. What works for them doesn't do shit for me. Just...be yourself.” I sighed as I squared my shoulders and looked back at him. “Ok?” I said softly.

He licked his lips and cleared his throat. “What fucking ever.” He was back to his cocky attitude then but for a split second i could see a small shift in his eyes. Maybe it was doubt or him softening up a bit through me calling him out. I hoped it got through to him or else i'd have to use one of Ten’s ball gags every time i was with him.

He resumed his impatient plunges, as if nothing had transpired, discarding whatever feelings that were passing through his thoughts. He pressed his chest into my back, forcing me to stay bent over the small bowl. The pressure of his body against mine continued to build up and overwhelm my endorphins. I braced my hand against the mirror, the heat from it fogging into a print. God, he was such an asshole for making me feel this good.

He gathered my hair in his fist, tugging slightly to angle my head towards the mirror so i could see the smirk on his reflection.“You know i think i like it better when you don't talk either.”

I gave him a spiteful glare as our eyes chased one another before his tongue dove to place lavish licks across my throat. My shoulders tensed at the sensation, fighting to give into carnal desires that seemed to flare up whenever I was with him.

He placed more bites between my shoulder blades mixing them with the still fresh marks from our previous escapade. He joined his destruction of my skin's surface with the curling of his fingers again, pressing the pads of his fingertips against the sensitive area within me. My lips clasped into a impenetrable wall, sealing in my moan while his were flowing freely into my shoulders. I felt his cock burying into my back, the friction of my squirming leading him into torment. My supporting leg seemed to lift up on its own, bringing me to my tip toes, making him get as deep as he could. The torture ceased when i finally gave into his claim, my first orgasm shocking me as it had in fact hit me in minutes. I almost believed i could snap the sink in half with how utterly amazing his fingers were.

My head dipped low as i sank back, trying to recover before he worked me up again. I wanted to rest my propped up leg down on the ground but Johnny kept it pinned in place. He didnt let me have a moment to myself. Instead he vanished inside me so breathtakingly fast that my gasp surrounded us in echoes. His hand forced an iron grip on my hip while his muscles worked to piston into me. I leaned back against his shoulder reminding me of the climax of our first fuck. My eyes were fluttered closed, lips parted and waiting to feel his tongue overrunning mine. The small teasing nibbles to my lips that turned into rumbling bites were enough to make me weak.

Mewls, curses, and begs circulated between us Then it was over. He pulled away without an explanation, a pattern he was performing all too familiarly. He busied himself with kicking off his shoes and stumbling out of his shorts. I knew he hadnt cum yet and i need that deep stretch between my thighs and that radio voice to make me drip. I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for his next move. “Well?”

He showed nothing more than calculated movements to pull me up into his arms, keeping me between his chest and the wall anew. There wasn’t any struggle to lift me, not even so much as a grunt when the muscles in his arms flexed to support my legs and my ass. I watched every inch of him tense; his legs square and steady, his chest rising and falling with each heavy inhale, and his shoulder blades pinching inwards. He was literally beautiful and i despised it. He was making my brain feel as if it was stuck in the clouds and was never going to clear itself of the fog.  He had spread me out for him, my legs dangling over his striated forearms,

I felt him then, his shaft riding between my lower lips to coat himself in my wetness. It was opposite of the rushed thrusts he had moments ago that made my stomach burn. The ridge of his head ghosted across my clit with each upward motion reminding me that the simplistic move was enough to bring me closer to insanity. That sensation was my favorite thing in the world and i ached for more. I held onto his shoulders, stabilizing myself as i inched my hips to meet his in an unwavering continuation of my satisfaction. His eyes flickered down at me, that smug look mocking me. Why did he know how to tease me so well?

I wanted to shove his face away from me but instead i dipped a hand down from his shoulder, my nails scraping against his torso. His eyes followed my fingers, getting wide as he found them spreading myself open for him. I could see his adam's apple bob with a hard swallow. “Fuck...” He shuddered. I felt my back slide down the wall as his hold on me wavered for a second. He hiked me up, repositioning me as he got a hold of himself. He was at a better angle now and the tip of his cock was already pushing past my entrance. I rested my head against the wall trying to distract myself from the way my already sore thighs were shaking and instead concentrate on the returning thrusts.

The slow sweet feeling got my body on edge just as much as the fast pace plowing did. I could feel myself tingling, shuddering each time his head caught a sensitive spot within my walls. Johnny dripped kisses across my breasts as his tongue teased tantric circles around my nipple before capturing it between his plush lips. My back arched, my breast filling his mouth enough for him to bite the swell of it. My breath hiccuped as i felt the sting of his teeth grazing against my skin. I wanted to see the after effects of those perfect rows when i thought of him later on tonight. He kissed at the indentations, creeping his way back up to my neck. 

His motions switched to a rough slam that had his hips forcing me back against the clammy wall as i clutched onto him for dear life. The calculated and harsh thrusts were powerful enough to drive feelings out of me that i preferred to keep repressed. It didn't help at all when his husky fervored radio voice finally groaned in my ear, “Fuck, Eri….you feel so good.”

In my head i was begging him not to stop though all i could get out was little squeaks as my nails etched streaks into his back. He hissed as i clenched around him with as much strength as i could muster, spurring the morphing jagged stutters of his hips faster. Our lips met in a rougher kiss once more, teeth clashing and moans interrupting each grab of our tongues. He was stretching me as he throbbed until the ever euphoric feeling flushed over us together. Our bodies had somehow managed to sync our orgasms which shocked me into silence. Johnny pressed his forehead into my shoulder as he slowed down, riding out the last aching feeling between us. I was tingling all over, my limbs feeling like tv static, as a wave of warmth washed over my skin. Everything about this was a mystery I had to unravel. It was new and different. I had never cum at the same time as my partner before. I always thought it was an enigma that only appeared in movies and tv shows. Now that I was experiencing it I had no idea what to do or say. I looked up at him as i tried to gather myself.

“Shit...uh…” What did you say to someone who made you feel so painstakingly good?

He pulled out of me gently before setting me down on my unstable legs. I diverted my eyes from him and managed to catch my reflection in the mirror. New hickies were all over me flowing with the others and the teeth marks on my chest made the skin tender. The fatigue was setting in hard and i was harshly reminded of the warm September weather that the shitty air conditioning in this building couldn't keep up with. I wanted to shower then sleep forever, maybe with him in my bed.

That minuscule daydream ended as i saw him tossing out the used condom and getting dressed. He was cold and distant like i usually was after a quick fuck..

“See ya.” He said as he pulled his shirt back over his head and grabbed his backpack. I gave him the finger as the door shut behind him, cursing under my breath. I was pretending that it wasn’t phasing me that he was leaving me out in the cold again. I turned on the faucet and ran some water over my neck and chest, trying to cool myself down. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail before wiping the cum that was now making me uncomfortably wet from between my thighs. Getting dressed was a painful ride that i was sure to carry onto my shift at work later on. I took a deep breath before opening the door and sliding back out into the world, less horny but still feeling incredibly reckless.

--

Johnnys POV

I unlocked the door to the apartment, sighing deeply as i still felt the scratches from earlier beneath my backpack. They had bothered me all day during my shift and I had half a mind to curse Eri out. I dropped my backpack to the floor, grateful to get rid of the weight and kicked off my work boots. I ran my fingers through my hair as i took off my hat, setting it on the hook by the door along with my keys. Jae was sprawled out on the couch seeming to have done nothing all day. “Hey dipshit.”

“‘Sup, asshole.” he replied.

“I’m fucking starving.” I announced as i headed over to the kitchen. I opened the freezer and took out the frozen pizza i had been thinking about all day. I had barely eaten since i had started my shift this afternoon and at this point i would eat everything if our fridge wasn’t so empty.

“Hey i got you something.” I heard Jae call out as i tore open the box and pulled out the pizza.

“What?”

“Look.”

I turned back to see a little plastic baggie dangling from his fingers. I rushed back to him snatching it up. “Fuck! Where'd you get this from? Matt?”

“Yeah, i managed to have enough for the good shit.”

“Thank fuckin' god because Josh kept giving us mostly stems.” I replied. “I'm gonna put some food in the oven in a sec, if you wanna share.”

He nodded. “What are you making?”

“Pizza, i dont think we have another one but ill double check. Oh, we need screens.” I headed into my room for a moment, grabbing my bowl off my dresser and searching for the screens i had….somewhere. I opened my drawer and moved some of my underwear around, searching for the stupid little envelope. “For the love of tits, where is it? JAE! You got any screens left?”

“Fuck if i know.” he called back.

Thanks for helping, asshole. I went to check my desk drawer, pushing aside some of my sd cards, lighters, and notebooks until I finally found the tiny manilla envelope with the mesh screens for the bottom of my bowl. I went back to the living room and handed them over to Jae. “You wanna get it ready? Im gonna put the pizza in.”

He sat up and grabbed his grinder that was on the coffee table. “Yep. Can we use your good lighter? Mine barely has any juice left.”

We always use my good lighter. I rolled my eyes and tried to hide my annoyed sigh. I couldn't be too picky. He did get me good weed after all. “Yeah, no problem, bro.” I left him to work and shuffled back to the kitchen, getting out a cookie sheet and slapping the pizza on it, sans plastic. I looked in the freezer to see if we had anything else I could whip up. There was some left over frozen fries and onion rings. I shrugged and dumped them onto the cookie sheet, shoving the pizza aside a bit. That was good enough. I tossed it in the oven and set the timer for like 20 minutes.

I sat down beside Jae on the couch just as he was lighting the bowl, taking in a big inhale before handing it to me. I did the same, waiting a bit before exhaling, my eyes resting on the rerun of Rick and Morty he had put on. I thought about telling him what happened between Eri and I this afternoon. We normally told each other about who we fucked but i felt like i wasn't going to hear the end of his bitching if I did. Oh well. I had a mental shrug before taking another hit. “So….i fucked Eri again today.”

“Damn, for real?” He looked over at me in disbelief, shaking his head a bit. “I knew you were whipped for her.”

“Fuck off, i am not. She’s just you know…hot.” As in ridiculously cute even though she was not the usual type i went for. “And she has nice tits.” As in they fit so perfectly in my hands and i wish i could hold them all day, that i could hold her all day… “And shes tight as fuck, to be honest.” As in, i could hardly give a shit about that but she feels so damn good that my mind just turns to mush when im inside her. “Oh, and shes good at giving brain.” As in, her lips are literally a gift to this damn world and all i could think about was kissing them...but also yeah, she gives good brain too.

“Damn, her pussy must be that special to end your one night stand streak then. What happened to ‘only get her snap or instagram so she cant call you’, or ‘only ask for nudes’, or ‘fuck her and leave and dont ever text her back’?”

“The dick wants what the dick wants, bro.” I said before taking another hit. I really wished she would get out my head. I was stuck with her though. For an entire semester i had to stare at the way she twirled her hair around her finger as she tried to look back at me and hope that i didnt notice. I noticed it all and it only made it worse. Everything about her was frozen in my head like a damaged vhs tape caught in the same scene. Even at work i was fucking up coffee orders because i would remember the little moans she made in my ear or some other gay shit. Sometimes i would think about tracing my fingers over her tattoos and seeing what other things turned her on. I hated this. I needed to separate myself from her. Sleeping with her again was a mistake.

“You good or are you just spacing out from the weed?” Jae laughed.

I blinked quickly and looked at him, suddenly coming out of my funk. I had no idea how long I spaced out for or however many hits i took. It was kind of an unconscious motion at this point. I laughed nervously trying to cover up that i had been thinking about Eri. “Oh yeah, haha. Shit's good. I'm gonna check on the food ok?”

“I think the timer went off.” He shrugged as he packed another bowl. I went to check the food, taking my phone with me. I was secretly hoping that i would have a snap from Eri. There was nothing. I should've been happy because it meant i could cut ties and not have her in my room again (or bathroom for that matter). But a feeling in my stomach kept tugging. It was if my gut was telling me to just take the chance and message her again. We barely talked otherwise. Even today i just left her in the bathroom because it was what i was used to even though I felt like I should’ve said more. That orgasm was fuckin’ insane-better than anything I had ever had before. Maybe one more little hook up wouldn’t kill me. No. I was starting to break my own rules.

I wanted to slam my head against the wall with all this back and forth bullshit in my mind. I needed to smoke more; until my head got foggy, my eyes blurry, and i could laugh this feeling away. I opened the oven and stared at the food for awhile, trying to gauge if everything was cooked without actually touching it. I cocked my head to the side, watching the slow bubbling of the pizza cheese and listening to the sizzle of the fries that were just starting to crisp.

“Is it done?!”

I stepped back from the oven, wiping away the sweat on my forehead that had started to accumulate from being in front of the heat for so long. I looked around for a potholder, finding it on the floor because Jae could never pick anything up. I pulled the tray out and grabbed a plate for myself. “Come get your own shit!”

I grabbed a knife and started hacking away at the pizza, trying to get it into slices. I was so focused on trying to unstick it from the tray i almost didnt notice the two quick vibrations that went off as my phone screen flashed on. I tried not to look at it right away since Jae was making his way over to the kitchen. If i didn’t play it cool he would go back to bitchin’ about me hooking up with Eri again. He started picking off fries from the tray, opening and closing his mouth to try in get cold air in, instead of waiting for it to cool like a normal human being. Meanwhile, I managed to get half a slice of pizza unstuck and dropped it onto my plate before joining it with some onion rings. I picked up my phone, making sure Jae was too engrossed with eating to see what Eri had sent me.

It was a picture of her neck and shoulders. The new hickies from today that had amassed into a weird purple splotch on her skin. Her caption was ‘can you not? I do have to go to work you know lol’. I smirked. Seeing them all over her made me feel something. Like i had marked my territory? Eww no. That sounded gross. Maybe i liked seeing a reminder of me on her? It was feeding into my thoughts of ‘maybe she was thinking about me too’. My thumbs hovered over my keyboard for a solid minute. I didnt want to sound like an idiot or worse, a desperate idiot.

Text me when ur free?

I hit send in the chat section then typed out my number. I never did that. Never fucking ever. I was kicking myself mentally already. She wasn’t going to text back. I set my phone in my pocket and pulled off more pizza from the tray and went to the couch, alternating between eating, smoking, and feeling my body start to give into sleep. “Dont sleep on the couch.” I yawned at Jae, seeing him start to slump over on the armrest.

“I’m chill. I had a productive day of not giving a fuck and staying home. Go snap your girlfriend.” he laughed.

“Go text yours.” I got up and shuffled to my room, slamming the door behind me. I tossed my phone onto my bed and took off all my clothes, kicking them towards the giant pile of laundry on my floor. I shook off a condom wrapper that stuck to my foot then fell face first into the mattress. My body felt heavy. I hoped i would stay asleep through the night this time and wake up not needing 4 Americanos to start the day. I felt a vibration through my bed and poked my head up from my pillow.

I guess im free

Dumbass

I immediately saved her number.

Cool

Slut

I could feel a smile start to form on my lips and i shoved my face back into my pillow. If i suffocated myself enough i’d end my misery. I wouldn't need to wait for my heart stop beating so fast if i was dead. Minutes passed by and there wasn’t another message. I waited just a bit longer, until my eyelids felt heavy and i dove deep into the void.

The void was sometimes peaceful but it never really lasted long. There were times where it shifted into an ocean and made me choke on the waters of my mental distress. Other times it was a sterile room, bright and menacing. It housed my body on a slab that couldn't move, my mouth wired shut and my inability to scream permeating my mind until all i did was panic. The worst of times it was a monster that sucked me back into a realm of corrupted childhood innocence and i could never escape the horrors of being chased. It felt so stupid that i could do all this to myself but never had a way to stop it. The fear was overwhelming, creeping through each nerve until all that was left was the suffocating silence and the streaks of tears on my cheeks that smothered me in emotions that were usually locked away and buried under time and ignorance. I was fading into a forgotten mess and still trying to claw my way up, reaching for absolutely anything that could pull me out.

“Hello?....Johnny?”

I gasped as my body yanked upright. My room was stuffy and heated. My sheets stuck to my sweat drenched body, clinging like a second skin. I looked down at my hands that were slowly coming into view as i blinked away tears.

“Johnny???”

I looked around in the darkness of my room. I had no idea where that voice was coming from. Was i just imagining things? Was i even actually awake? I spotted my phone, the screen glowing as it showed an ongoing call to Eri. I picked it up, trying to even out my breath. “H-hello?”

“Dude, its like 4am. Why are you calling me?” she sounded groggy and irritated.

“So-sorry. I uh...i think i might've rolled over onto my phone and dialed you. Didn't mean to wake you.”

“You sound out of breath. Did you call me while you're fucking someone?!”

“No...seriously i’m not. I-i-i gotta go.” I hung up instantly, not wanting to dwell in my weakness. I didn't need her to know about my suffocating anxiety forced night terrors. I didn't need anyone to know about those. I wasn't sure if i rolled over onto my phone or picked it up and dialed her in my sleep. I assumed i had done it more so on accident. Who knows how much thrashing i did this time. I laid back down, kicking off the sticky blankets and instead focusing on the dozens of messages i had missed in the group chat since i had fallen asleep.

--

The Boys Group Chat

Jae: the king has been bested lol

Taeyong: ohhh shit what happened now?

Jae: the one night stand turned into another fuck

Ten: wait he fucked eri again????

Jae: 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Jae: yup

Ten: holy shit

Taeyong: holy shit is right

Taeyong: thats like...

Taeyong: i mean hes never done that

Jae: not since we became friends

Jae: its been like 2 yrs since we met too

Ten: oh how the mighty have fallen

Johnny: can yall not???

Johnny: like i can literally read everything youre sending

Johnny: i havent fallen anywhere

Ten: hell yeah you have. Youre literally trapped now

Johnny: im not fucking trapped. Its done and over with. Were not gonna fuck again

Yuta: ok bro whatever u say tbh

Johnny: get out of here yuta

Yuta: 👅👅👅👅👅👅

Taeyong: dont listen to them. Ten and yuta drool over her every time she comes near them. Theyre like addicted or something

Taeil: ive seen you commenting a few times on her ig ty. Seems like theyre not the only ones addicted

Taeyong: ive literally just liked a few of her posts! So fucking what? That doesnt mean anything!

Taeil: you were literally staring at her at the party

Taeyong: yeah because you were trying to do your innocent boy schtick!

Ten: ty no matter how much you want to deny it you want her too

Johnny: shes literally not that great. I was just horny today after class. Yall need to chill

Jae: ok but if you hook up with her a third time then we know ur for sure whipped

Johnny: fucking choke. Pls.

Yuta: once you get used to her she aint so bad

Johnny: im cool. Trust.

Ten: hes too vanilla for her lolol

Johnny: fuck off. At least i dont have to like strangle myself to get off

Ten: awww chokings fun j-suh. Im surprised she hasnt asked you to do it yet

Johnny: well i mean like

Johnny: she kinda leaned into my hand a bit

Johnny: on saturday i mean. But it was weird so i just moved it

Ten: lmaooooo pussy

Yuta: dude just do it. She just gets this look in her eyes and its fucking insane

Jae: can yall not right now? Im about to puke

Taeil: im sure shes fine having normal sex. You act like every waking moment with her has to be kinky

Johnny: i havent had any complaints yet either

Taeil: yet? As in youre actually planning for another time? Lol

Johnny: GOOD NIGHT ASSHOLES

ten: #whipped

Yuta: #johnnyiserisbitch

Jae: then what does that make u two?

Yuta: her fuckin doms, dumbass 😂😂😂

Jae: what does that even mean????

Taeyong: even i know what that means jae damn. How dumb are you?

Jae: its just weird! Idk!

Yuta: it means when ten and i fuck her we control everything about her

Taeil: jfc

Ten: its a gift what can i say

(Downloading picture)

Johnny: Yuta are you fucking serious rn bro?

Taeil: Did you really take a picture of her tied up and gagged?

Yuta: lmao yeah. why fckn not? its hot

Johnny: how many pics of her do you have?

Yuta: lol so fucking many

Ten: ive got videos too 😏😏

Yuta: i mean theyre all up for grabs in case you want em 😜

Taeil: dont you think you shouldn't be sending those without her permission?

Yuta: i can dm u them

Taeil: yeah tbh

Taeyoung: youre just as bad as everyone else

Taeil: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Johnny: cut it out

Ten: boo yall are no fun at all

Yuta: anyway just dont fuck her again or else ull get trapped

Johnny: like you two are?

Ten: guilty tbh

Yuta: mood

Jae: yall need to sleep

Jae: asap

Jae: and stop bugging me

Taeil: mute the damn chat duh

Johnny: i gotta get back to bed too

Johnny: morning shift tomorrow

Taeyong: wack but same

Taeyong: ill see you guys

Ten: nighty nighty tae tae😚😚😚

Jae: ten ur gay is showing. No homo

Ten: literally all the homo. Anyway tell us again if you fuck eri

Ten: and ill let you know what happens on thursday ;)

Johnny: id rather not know and not fuck her again if ur gonna touch her

Taeil: i mean u basically already have so….

Johnny: shut up

Yuta: 😂😂😂😂

Yuta: dumbass

Taeil: im dipping out but ill let you guys know if she comes to the library ✌👅

Jae: eww dont talk about that

Taeyong: stop being such a kid and just go down on her

Johnny: off limits for damn sure

Ten: i'm telling you she wont keep you around if you dont

Johnny: good lets keep it that way

[cewfreeland]

Life in the COVID-19 epicenter

We’re on day 14 of staying at home to do our part to prevent the spread of the coronavirus, COVID-19. Everything considered we are doing so well. We’re a family with two teenagers who are finding joy in spending time with each other again. Brian and I alternate between depression and gratitude. Fortunately, we never seem to be in the depression part at the same time. That comes from being so different and also knowing when the other one is starting to spiral into the dark place. The other one rallies - reaches out through the unknown and finds a spark of joy to bring the other one out of the blue fog. 

One of my closest NY friends is recovering from a diagnosed case of COVID-19. He proactively reached out to me this morning to tell me he made it through the night since I have been bugging him every day to see if he was still in his apartment or had needed to get the urgent care that we hear our neighbors needing from the sirens wailing. Another close friend in NY lost her sense of smell and taste but seems to have come out unscathed other than those two symptoms.  I keep wondering if my short bout with fever/chills/cough/fatigue/shortness of breath/diarrhea in early March was COVID-19, followed by the kids having raging headaches several days after my illness.  Brian was in DC for most of my illness so I don’t think he got it. An antibody test cannot come soon enough.

Brian and I both have a remarkable amount of guilt. I think his guilt is centered on the fact that he is still employed while so many other artists and art workers are not. He also sees his industry hemorrhaging and with no end in sight. We watched the depression inspired film Cradle Will Rock about the Workers Progress Administration and the Federal Theater Project last night. He is optimistic that something that transformative will come out of this crisis. I have faith that he can be a part of this recovery.

As for me, the bright side is that people understand what public health is now!  The downside is that I feel like I can’t help. My grad school group chat has a really stark view of what healthcare workers are facing.  One classmate has had his surgical residency all but halted and transitioned to emergency surgery. Two pregnant classmates are still caring for patients - one in pediatric ICU (where she’s not seeing many kids, thankfully) and the other a radiologist (who is volunteering in other ways to relieve the pressure on her colleagues). Another classmate also lost a sense of taste and smell and was back at work 5 days later. She is an OB/GYN and is only delivering COVID-19 positive patients out of fear that she may still be contagious. Still another classmate is a pulmonary critical care physician who has not said much for a while, no doubt because he’s working non-stop. An anesthesiologist at Emory has become a media darling and we all cheer her on when we catch an op-ed in the NYT featuring her or catch her on CNN or MSNBC. I so wish we were celebrating Michelle’s sudden rise to fame for different reasons - her victory as a candidate for the Georgia State Senate, fighting for women’s rights, achieving better healthcare for her constituents. Unfortunately, she’s telling a sadder story right now - the reality of intubating COVID-19 patients as they struggle to breathe - giving them a shot to recover. That every breath the patient makes while she’s doing her work could be exposing her to the virus, and therefore her family, as well as the other healthcare workers. 

One classmate is part of the leadership team for the emergency department for one of the big NYC/Long Island hospital systems and she has been working to set up alternative entrances for urgent cases across their 19 hospitals. A physical therapist is transitioning her entire team from out-patient settings into in-patient settings. She and her colleagues are all being exposed every single day. One day, she’s with a patient with suspected COVID-19 status but not confirmed, the next she hears what she already knew about the status. And this happens each and every day.  They sound weary and calm. The reality of what we hear on the news made even more terrifying by their accounts. They are not dramatic, they are not overstating. They don’t have the time or the energy to add to the fury.  They are simply doing their jobs and the daunting incline on the graph of predicted patients forming ahead of them is simply something for them to climb - one day and one patient at a time. 

And I am working from home - not doing anything glamorous like I might have done if my life had not taken the detour it did 2 1/2 years ago. I am conflicted about how I feel about that. Since grad school ended, I have felt aimless - working full-time has felt very “lame.” I’ve dabbled with consulting, exploring getting my PhD, starting my own business. Being “still” is hard for me. And not being part of the central communications team at this time is hard as well. I am grateful to have moved on from that life and role - I feel like my work is more meaningful now - but there is an element of wanting to be in the drama. But I also think this is a lesson for me - to become comfortable with the long game rather than filling up space with busywork and crises. 

What I am doing is managing my team who has been thrown into unfamiliar territory. We hired these smart, courageous, and caring people to talk with people all day, every day.  And now, they’re at home, having to rely on the phone to connect with our 10,000 participants in the hopes that we didn’t catch them at a bad time. The worry is that maybe someone in their home is unwell and calling about research is not exactly on their minds. Or, perhaps they’ve lost their job and are worried about paying rent on April 1st, and May 1st, and June 1st. The good news is our team is brave and smart and empathetic and they may be just the ear that person needs at that moment. And medical research is something that more people understand now. They get how important it is to contribute to the cause. I started sending out little prompts each day to encourage communication, maybe a little humor, and at least some sense of community. Ironically, I worry more during my sleep about what “prompt” to send them than other things.  On Thursday, my prompt was “share your favorite coronavirus meme.” I sent out one about the Breakfast Club but quickly realized that I was only one of a handful of Gen Xers in the chat and many had not grown up in the U.S. and didn’t appreciate the humor. Epic fail.  

There has been discussion of doing testing on the blood samples given by participants collected in December, January, February and March (until we suspended enrollments) to see if we can see a true understanding of the incidence of the virus in populations across the country. That is VERY exciting to be a part of that possibility - to understand the DENOMINATOR in a more scientific and controlled way.  Additionally, there is some talk of running antibody testing on participants going forward. We have the infrastructure to do that and it would undoubtedly help the individual and the scientific community in ways we can’t even imagine.

- - - 

Brian has brought remarkable order to our unusual new existence. He has all of us up and doing our morning things as well as adding a few new rituals that are starting to feel normal. In addition to getting dressed, making beds, eating breakfast, he also has us taking our temperatures and taking an allergy pill Having allergy symptoms while we’re all very aware that any cough or headache could be a sign of infection is not an option. His parents sent us an extra stash of Zyrtec since we couldn’t get it at our local pharmacy. Amazon is running slow - for which I have no anger about - but it does mean that we are tied to what our local shops have on hand. 

Last week, we heard this woman from the Upper West Side comment on the local news that people were acting like it’s Little House on the Prarie. “People are making soup. They’re eating leftovers.” Lillian’s response was “That is what normal people do.” But our lives are different.  I have found my gatherer urge go into hyperdrive. Maybe it’s because Lillian is so picky or maybe because having what everyone wants at the exact time they want it is a way that I am feeling a sense of control over this insane time. We were almost out of flour, and I became obsessed with getting some. Our regular mail shipment of toilet paper is running low (as in we have about 10 rolls left) and our provider is saying it will be another few weeks before they’re back in stock. I feel this chronic fear that we’re going to run out of Lillian’s macaroni and cheese, the one thing she will consistently eat, and feel this pull to out and get her more. I became obsessed with getting hotdog buns - and we don’t even eat hotdogs normally - but when I found them in stock, I bought two bags.  I understand that hoarding is a bad thing, but I cannot deny the anxiety this situation has brought out in me and manifesting in wanting too many hot dog buns.  

Probably the best personal thing that I’ve done during the past two weeks is that I’m on a quest to achieve my long-term dream of being a runner. I’ve started “Couch to 5K” too many times over the past several years to count. I just started week 2 - I did week 1 two weeks in a row - so I’m finally moving forward further than I’ve ever gone. It feels like my lungs are getting stronger and my sense of accomplishment is getting satisfied. I find great joy in being in the gorgeous Fort Tryon Park, staying away from my neighbors, knowing that I’m investing in myself and my community even if it’s one lonely step at a time.  

[amehanaaa]

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

I definitely did not expect all the encouraging feedback from the first chapter! Thank you all for your reviews; it made me feel very loved.

If everything goes to plan, this story will have nine chapters. I hope you all will join me on this journey! It’s going to be great! 

Well, let's get this show on the road! See you soon! (Also can be read here.) 

Chapter 2 -- read chapter one here!  Words: 5740 Summary: Lucy and Natsu are determined to take the necessary steps to fulfill their lifetime dreams. Little do they know, they have both given themselves 10 days to achieve it.

                                                    ——————–

Lucy's leg rhythmically bounces as she peers out the taxi window, Magnolia's city nightlife breezing past her. She would have preferred attending this gathering with Erza; she figured that wasn't an option when all she received was a text of the address and a suggestive picture of the dress Erza was wearing.

Wearing a dress she hasn't worn since her college days, Lucy is surprised it still clings onto her body like it used to. But this isn't the time to be self-conscious. Tonight is a night to be just the opposite—confident, likeable, and attractive.

Lucy has already developed a plan for her potential guy, but it feels like a distant dream. Right now, she has to be in total captivation mode. She has never acted this way in her life, but after channeling her inner-Erza persona, she is more confident than ever before.

"We're here," the taxi driver says. His words cause Lucy's heart to leap into her throat. She swallows it back as she steps out of the car.

Simultaneously, she nearly chokes on her breath at the extravagant hotel Erza invited her to. Inside, twinkling chandeliers hang from every part of the ceiling. Everyone is decorated with jewelry that probably costs more than a year's worth of her apartment rent.

Lucy follows the crowd of people until she reaches a ballroom where she recognizes the name of the host from Erza's text—Juvia.

"Would you like anything to drink?" a server offers as soon as Lucy takes her first step inside.

She takes the first glass of champagne on the tray. With a thankful nod, she searches through the crowd for Erza. Even though Erza is not the first person she would like to be with, Lucy feels so out of her comfort zone that any familiarity would be enough.

After squeezing through about twenty people, Lucy catches a glimpse of scarlet hair. She immediately calls out her name.

"Erza!"

Erza turns around at the voice, making eye contact with her. "Oh, you made it. Good luck tonight."

Lucy's jaw drops as Erza turns away with a smug look. "So, it's like that," she mumbles. "That's okay. I can do this by myself." With a deep breath, she mentally slides on her mask.

Any moment that Lucy makes eye contact with a man, she goes for it. She sends them a sly smile and approaches them, placing a hand on their shoulder. "How are you tonight?"

Much to her dismay, every man she speaks to is either married, currently with someone, or swinging the other way. An hour passes and she hasn't spoken to anyone worth her time. But now isn't the time to be picky; she has to find someone tonight.

Being on the lookout is becoming exhausting, so she decides to check out what the food is about. The sight of chocolate covered strawberries instantly attracts her and there is only one left. She reaches for it, but a hand plucks it away.

"Oh," Lucy says, also hearing the person say the same. She turns to the person, taken aback by the vibrant color of his hair.

"Do you want it?" he offers.

"You can take it," she assures. "I'll just go for something else."

"No, you take it. They're really sweet. I've had five."

"What if I just take you instead?" Lucy smiles at the same time his brows raise.

He instinctively leans forward. "What's your name?"

"Lucy. Yours?"

"Natsu."

"Cute."

"I can say the same to you."

"I meant your name." Lucy stifles out a laugh. Now, they're rolling. Before she continues, she glances at his hand—no ring. So far, so good.

"Are you with anyone tonight?" Natsu asks.

"Only a potential strawberry," she replies. "And you?"

"Same," he answers.

Lucy lets out a sigh of relief mixed with anticipation. This is it. This is her guy. "What are you doing here tonight?"

"I honestly can't remember now that I met you," Natsu responds. "Now that I think about it, I could go for some actual food."

"Tempting," she hums.

"Interested?" he suggests.

"Absolutely," she answers.

"I'll meet you at the front, then," he tells her before walking away.

Disappearing into the crowd, Natsu swipes his hands across his pants as a smile peeks through his lips. He can't remember the last time he felt like this—probably in college. But most importantly, he still has game!

"I knew bringing the bike was a good idea." Natsu grins triumphantly once he catches his friend, who is already half-tipsy.

"You found a girl already?" Gray asks incredulously.

"You're going to wish you never bet on this," Natsu continues grinning. "See you later. Use protection tonight, alright?"

Not bothering to hear Gray's slurred retorts, Natsu meets Lucy at the entrance of the ballroom. "You ready?"

"Readier than I'll ever be." She doesn't think twice about linking her arm through his. "Where are we headed?"

"One of my favorite restaurants," he reveals. They're outside now and Lucy starts stepping towards the nearest car, but he stops her. "No, this one."

"Oh," she realizes, her eyes connecting with the bike that looks strikingly similar to the one that almost flattened her today.

"Don't worry, I have a helmet for you," Natsu offers. "It's a little goofy, but safety is important."

Lucy mentally shakes off the trembles in her body by grasping the helmet firmly. She places it on her head, allowing him to adjust the chin straps.

"Goofy?" she asks, making close eye contact with him.

"Cute," he smirks. His smirk only widens when she mounts the bike and wraps her arms around his waist. "Don't squeeze too tight," he teases.

Lucy places her chin on his shoulder with a soft laugh. If there is anything she knows about men, it's their desire for constant physical touch.

Natsu allows his body to relax in her hold. If there is anything he knows about women, it's crucial to respond back to their body language.

Lucy has to hold back her yelps as they ride through the night. She tries to hide them, but she finds herself exposed when Natsu chuckles occasionally. It's then when she starts to notice that this guy is a lot more perceptive than she thought.

"Here we are," he announces once they roll up to a shining restaurant.

"A diner?" she questions aloud. "This is your favorite?"

"I'm old-fashioned."

The bright lights of the diner are a blessing and a curse. Now, Lucy can take in Natsu's features. At the same time, he absorbs her features, too. But in the persona she is in right now, there's no room for her to feel self-conscious.

Sitting across from one another, they share a menu. It doesn't matter that the words are upside down for Natsu; he already knows exactly what he wants.

"The sandwiches here are the best," he mentions.

"That's exactly what I was looking at," she replies.

After ordering a chicken sandwich, Lucy directs her attention to Natsu. Their eye contact almost feels electric, enough for a shiver to scatter across her spine.

"Can I ask you some questions?" she asks, placing her chin on her hands. "So we're not strangers anymore."

"Shoot." Natsu tugs his sleeves to his elbows as though to prepare.

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a firefighter," he answers with a proud glint in his eye. "There isn't much to save here in Magnolia, but the pay is good."

"Would you prefer to live somewhere else?"

"Maybe," he shrugs. "What about you?"

"I'm a journalist," she states.

Natsu raises an intrigued brow. "Have I read some of your work?"

"Only if you're interested in makeup and fashion." She sends him a suggestive look.

"Oh, you're that type of journalist," he remarks, nodding his head in understanding. "Saving one teenage girl at a time."

Now it's Lucy's turn to raise a brow. "I'll have you know, I work hard for my job," she defends herself. "This is just temporary. Soon enough, I'm going to be writing articles that are worth writing about."

"What's stopping you from doing that now?"

Lucy opens her mouth to respond, but she's saved by the waitress and their food. She's thankful; she needs to remember that this man is only going to be in her life for ten days. There's no reason for him to know everything about her.

Throughout their meal, Natsu does all he can to be the captivating guy that keeps Lucy wanting more and more. Meanwhile, Lucy does all she can to suggest that she doesn't want their night at the diner to end here.

As though served to her on a silver platter, Lucy finds herself being invited to Natsu's apartment. They are moving a lot faster than she anticipated, but she keeps herself together with a confident smile.

"Nice place," she compliments. She has only seen an alcove studio apartment in movies but experiencing it in real life makes it appear much larger than it is.

"Thanks," he responds. "Being a firefighter isn't too bad when you get to live in a place like this. Want a drink?"

"Sure. But first, where's your bathroom?"

Once she's in, she immediately takes out her phone. Lucy can try to be a strong, confident woman, only if she's given some space to return to her normal self.

"You're at his place?!" Levy texts Lucy back almost the second she received the text.

"I'm not going to do whatever you think we'll be doing," Lucy replies. "I'm just going to… Tease him a bit."

She checks through Natsu's cabinets to see if there is anything out of the ordinary. Besides an extremely tattered toothbrush, everything looks normal.

"Don't forget to take your notes," Levy reminds her. "Be safe and text me if you need anything."

With that, Lucy leaves the bathroom to see Natsu lighting several candles. Soft music plays in the background—it's a song she recognizes from one of her study playlists she had once. Playing with the tension in the air, she doesn't think twice to near his bed and sit at the edge.

Natsu hands her a glass of wine, but instead of sitting on the bed with her, he sits back on the dresser against the wall. Lucy pats the spot beside her lightly to beckon him to her. In response, Natsu pats the area beside him.

"Oookay," she finally accepts, standing up from the bed and sitting beside him. Warmth spreads across her skin as their shoulders bump against each other.

Natsu is about to mention that she smells sweet, but as soon as he turns to her, he finds her lips pressing against his. They kiss for a moment, but he lifts his head.

"Hey, let's not go too fast, alright?" he whispers, his lips accidentally brushing across her nose. He knows this will make her want him even more.

"Yeah, you're right," Lucy says while pulling away. She peers at him, but his eyes are focused on her lips. "Let's—"

Her words are interrupted as Natsu brings her in, kissing her as they stand and embrace one another. She can feel his pulse coming off his fingertips as they snake down her back.

"Ah, you're right. Too fast." Lucy unwraps her arms from around his neck. She knows this will make him want her even more.

"Yeah," Natsu mutters as he presses his forehead against hers.

Maybe it's because of the drink, or the party, or her assignment, or everything in between that makes Lucy do what she does next. Gently running her fingers into his hair, she leans in just for another kiss. That's all it takes.

One second they're standing, the next second Natsu is above Lucy on his bed. The beat of the music surrounding them matches their kisses. Lucy finds herself lost in his lips, her body heat meshing with his.

Natsu can smell her sweetness as he presses just enough weight above her to make her secure in his grip. He enjoys the softness of her lips, even being able to feel the ghost of her smile.

"Too fast." They both pull away with heavy breaths. As their hazy eyes connect, the tension between them is insurmountable.

"I want you to respect me," Lucy speaks softly.

"I do," Natsu responds. "And I want your respect."

Lucy sends him a subtle smile. "I respect you for respecting me."

Natsu pauses, but the edges of his lips rise. "I respect that."

He pushes himself off the bed and helps her up. As they both fix their ruffled hair, they share a look, almost laughing. Both of them can agree that everything happened too fast. Not that they regret it, but there's still too much unfamiliar distance between them.

"I should probably head out," Lucy admits.

"I'll walk you out," he offers.

Lucy is feeling electricity all across her body—so much that she doesn't acknowledge her surroundings. She gasps when she accidentally knocks over her wine glass.

"I'm so sorry," she apologizes quickly while bending down to pick it up.

"Hey, don't do that. It's okay." Natsu grasps her hand before it comes in contact with the glass. "I'll clean it up once you leave."

Lucy peeks shyly at him, picking herself up and looking around to see if she needs anything else. "Thanks for tonight. I'll see you soon."

"Soon," Natsu repeats.

Lucy slides out of his apartment, already making mental notes of every detail of what happened tonight. She exits the apartment complex, in search for a taxi when she hears a voice above her.

"Goodnight, Lucy," Natsu calls out from his balcony.

She raises her gaze to him and waves. "Goodnight!"

Natsu leans his elbow against the railing of the balcony, laughing into his hand as she waves.

"You're so going to want to be with me for these next ten days," he says under his breath.

Lucy speaks through her smile. "I'm going to have these next ten days make you wish you were dead."

Finding a taxi, she enters the car and takes a final look at Natsu's apartment complex. He is already inside, which allows her to release a laugh that has been pent up inside of her. She isn't sure if it's a nervous one or an anticipated one.

Reflecting on tonight, she feels like she has awakened a new version of herself. There is no telling how these next ten days are going to turn out.

                                                   ——————–

Natsu waits for Gray in front of the fire station the next day. Once he arrives and delivers Natsu's lunch—courtesy of Juvia's party—they sit at an outdoor table. Natsu hasn't even taken his first bite when Gray begins his interrogation.

"What happened last night?"

"For me or for you?" Natsu speaks through muffled bites. "Do you remember anything?"

"Only bits and pieces, but that's not what I care about," Gray dismisses him. "I mean, for you. You met a girl?"

"Yeah, she was great. Hanging out with her these next ten days isn't going to be difficult," Natsu responds.

"Well, do you have plans on seeing her today?" Gray inquires.

"She left her purse at my place," Natsu cracks a grin. "I'm going to call—"

He doesn't get to finish his sentence, hearing the station phone ringing inside. Several moments later, one of his colleagues comes outside.

"Hey, Natsu. You have a call."

"Spoke too soon," Gray comments as Natsu jumps out of his seat and hurries inside.

"Hey," Natsu speaks into the phone, trying to hide his uneven breaths.

"Hey," Lucy replies on the other line. "Sorry if it's weird calling you at work."

"No, it's okay. We're slow. As always," he assures. "You searched up the station's phone number?"

"Is that weird?" Lucy asks bashfully. "Sorry."

"No, it's not," Natsu lets out a chuckle. If anything, he appreciates her effort to get in contact with him.

"Well, I just wanted to call you about my purse. I accidentally left it last night."

Natsu takes note at the word accidentally. "Yeah, I saw. How about we meet today so I can give it back to you?"

"You read my mind," she replies. "Here, this is my number. You can call me back on your personal phone."

"Got it. See you soon, then," Natsu responds. Once he hangs up, he makes eye contact with his colleague. "What, Elfman?"

"Never seen you blush before," Elfman comments. "Not very manly."

"I'm not blushing!" Natsu proclaims immediately, already going back outside. "Get off of me."

Finding that Gray left to go back to work, Natsu continues eating his lunch by himself. Even then, he becomes lost in his thoughts at what it will be like to see Lucy again.

"You are so sly," Cana purrs once Lucy gets off the phone.

"Just strategy," Lucy explains with a half-hearted shrug. "I'm still in phase one right now."

"Which means?" Cana questions.

"Captivation," Lucy reveals. "That definitely succeeded last night, but today I'm going to show him a different, sweeter side to me."

"You got guts," Cana commends. "How will phase two be like?"

"Clingy, needy," Lucy lists them off her fingers. "You know, that kind of stuff. But when he least expects it, I'm going to switch it up again."

Cana releases a laugh, shaking her head in disbelief. "You really thought this one out!"

Lucy can't help but beam. She has pretty much gotten over the nervous jitters; she's ready to continue her experiment. Though her plan is written out, she knows she needs to be spontaneous, too. Such as intentionally leaving her purse at Natsu's place last night. She needs a reason to see him again, after all.

It isn't until the workday is almost over when her phone buzzes, lighting up with a message from an unknown number with a street address.

"Hey, it's me. Let's meet here tonight."

Lucy taps on the highlighted address, her phone directing her to a map view of the place. It's a fifteen minute walk away, but in the opposite direction of where she would like to be. The address is on the side of the town that no one wants to find themselves at after sunset.

She hums and messages Natsu back. "Fairy Tail? I've never heard of it. Is it safe?"

"You'll be safe with me," Natsu responds instantly. "It's sort of a club, but tonight is a special night for cards and games. Drinks on the side, maybe."

Again, Lucy hums and reminds herself how necessary spontaneity is right now. If that means meeting Natsu in a suspicious part of town, then so be it.

"Okay. I'll be there in an hour."

With that, Lucy reaches for her extra set of clothes. On her way to change, she calls Levy to update her on the new turn of events.

"You better keep me updated every minute!" Levy lectures her, her voice echoing through the bathroom. "You know how dangerous that side of the city is. Are you sure you want to do this, Lu?"

"Commitment is commitment," Lucy protests. "Natsu said I'll be safe with him."

"Men are unreliable!" Levy proclaims. "Seriously, keep your location on your phone or I'm going there myself."

Lucy lets out a laugh, secretly grateful for her friend's concern. "You got it, Levy. I'll probably be back late tonight, so don't worry about staying up for me."

Before Levy finds a new way to warn Lucy to not go, Lucy ends the call.

"Okay," she begins, fixing her hair and faking a smile at the mirror. "Let's do this."

Phone in hand, Lucy makes her way to Fairy Tail. Sunset rays drip onto her face every so often, which eases her more than it should. She can already tell she's entering Magnolia's rough part when she notices the chipped sidewalk and stray dogs.

It is almost as if she's in another world the further she goes. Her phone tells her she's about three minutes away from the place, but she has no idea how it'll look. She expects it to look similar to the abandoned houses, but it isn't until she walks around the corner when she's met with solid, metal gate.

The gate is at least a head taller than her, but she rises on the tips of her toes to see if she can look over. Behind her, she can hear men whistling at her. Before she feels too exposed, she calls Natsu.

"Hey, I think I'm here," Lucy says.

"I'll tell them to open the gate for you."

On cue, the gate starts to slide open. When it has opened enough for her to fit, she doesn't hesitate to enter. Lucy has to suppress her eyes from bulging out when she realizes that she is now in a gorgeous courtyard, decorated with ponds and fountains and perfectly-cut shrubs. In front of her is an extravagant three-story building. It's hard to believe that a wasteland is directly behind her.

"Hey, Lucy! You found me!" Natsu shouts, waving at her from the second floor balcony. She tilts her head back and sees him beckoning her to enter. "I'll meet you at the staircase!"

She steps forward, mentally preparing herself to get into character. Once again, it's showtime.

"Hey, there." Natsu wraps an arm around her shoulders and brings her into a hug.

"It's nice to see you again," Lucy says, leaning into the hug. "Did you have a good day?"

"It's better now that you're here." He sends her a wide grin. Already, electricity seems to tremor between them. "Oh, yeah, here's your purse."

"Thank you." She accepts the purse from him, their fingers accidentally grazing over each other. He latches onto her fingers.

Natsu tilts his head to the side. "Here, let's walk around."

Jazz music plays around the dimly lit room, lights hanging to illuminate specific areas. The lights hover above poker, card-games, and pool tables. Players surround them, taking their shots or concentrated at their cards.

"How do you know about this place?" Lucy asks, guided by their intertwined hands.

"A friend of mine knows the owner," Natsu answers. "All these guys here are loaded with money. I just like to come here and have fun."

"You don't play?" Lucy raises a brow, somewhat surprised.

"Only if I know I'm going to win. Which is often," he says confidently.

Immediately intrigued by his confident manner, Lucy decides to challenge him to play a game. They're now on the second floor, which is for board games. She searches the area to see which would be the most challenging—her lips tug upwards once she finds it.

"What about chess? Do you think you could beat that guy?" She points her finger at a lonesome man by one of the chess boards.

"Could I?" Natsu scoffs. "I'm professionally trained at chess. And by professional, I mean, I've watched plenty of people play it."

"Show me what you got, then," she retorts. They walk to the board, the man looking above his glasses at the two.

Natsu wordlessly sits across from him, setting up the pieces on his side of the board. "Let's do this, old man."

The man grunts, setting up his pieces and turning to squint at Lucy. "Sit away from us. I don't want you disturbing our game."

She opens her mouth to defend herself. "I won't—"

"Don't worry, it won't last too long," Natsu assures her. "You can sit on those couches nearby."

Lucy has no choice but to comply, trying not to show her frustration. She crosses her arms and sits on the couch. If there is anything that bothers her most, it's being excluded. She also feels like the suspicious stains on the velvet couch has provided more service than just sitting.

From her spot, she watches Natsu's face becoming stone-like once he concentrates on the game. She begins to find it oddly attractive, but she also can tell that this game isn't going to be as short as he predicted.

"I'm going to get a drink," Lucy states after thirty minutes have passed and nearly no significant moves have been made.

"Don't disturb us," the man responds harshly.

"Sorry, Lucy. Do you mind getting me one, too?" Natsu asks with a quick glance in her direction.

"Yeah, yeah," she waves them off.

Aimlessly walking through the club, she isn't sure where she should grab her first drink. Several bars are on each floor and she can't tell which one to choose. She decides to pick the most vacant one on the third floor, noticing only one other person besides the bartender. She sits one stool away from him.

"I'll just have a water," she tells the bartender.

She sneaks a glimpse at the man beside her, noticing that he is more elderly than she realized. He swirls the ice in his cup. He sends her a side-eye as he takes a sip, which makes Lucy jump at the sudden eye-contact.

"Nice to meet you." The man smiles at her. "What's your name?"

"I'm Lucy." She extends her hand out to shake his hand. "What about you?"

"Makarov," he answers. "I've never seen you here before."

"Yeah, I'm a guest," she explains. "Do you know Natsu? I'm here with him."

Makarov doesn't hold back his surprised expression. "You're here with Natsu? That's new."

Lucy tilts her head in confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

"I don't remember the last time Natsu brought a woman here," Makarov states. He rubs the back of his head in thought. "It has been at least five years."

Lucy grinds her teeth in order for her jaw not to drop. "Why do you think that is?"

"Can't be too sure," he shrugs half-heartedly. "The last thing he told me was that the next relationship he's looking for is a long-term one."

Lucy's teeth grind harder. Her thoughts begin to spiral, unsure of which one to settle on. Is Natsu more committed than she thought? Does Natsu see a future with her? How is she supposed to be okay with that knowing that she's cutting all of this off in ten days?

Lucy gulps, trying to keep her voice level. "How do you know all of this? What's your relationship with Natsu?"

"Well, I own this place," Makarov says nonchalantly. "I know everyone in this club."

But this interests her more than anything. This is what she has been looking for.

"You own this place," Lucy echoes. She slides into the stool separating them. "What's the story behind Fairy Tail? Why did you pick this part of Magnolia?"

"It's a long story," Makarov answers, almost as though he isn't interested in sharing it.

"I have time," Lucy assures him. "I'm also a journalist who lives for stories like these. Really, I would love to know your story."

Makarov notices the curious glint in her eyes, knowing that it's genuine. He clears his throat.

"Well, I had the vision of Fairy Tail when I was about your age. This part of town used to be ten times worse back in the day. Burglaries left and right. My home got broken into five times, even while I was building this place.

"I wanted it to be a safe place for those that live here and have nowhere to go. You know, people outside of these neighborhoods think that everyone here is too far gone to be successful.

"But I think the real issue is that no one has any hope for them. No one has hope for the drug addicts, the kids, the families. There isn't any hope that these neighborhoods can be restored."

"Do you think Fairy Tail has made a difference in the community?" Lucy asks.

"You tell me," Makarov responds, turning his chair around and lifting his finger in the air. "Those closed doors over there are classrooms. During the day, this place is a school."

"And at night it's a club?"

"We make sure the kids aren't allowed in at night," he responds. "We also don't sell alcohol. Water, juice, and soda are all anyone is drinking around here."

"Incredible," Lucy breathes out in awe. "I didn't think a place like this existed in Magnolia."

"It's a stigma that we're trying to destroy," he replies. A smile tugs at the edge of his lips. "Money is starting to flow in, too. Somehow, word got around to a bunch of corporate workers and they come here after their shifts."

"That's amazing." She begins to smile with him.

Makarov turns to her. "Did you say you were a journalist? Do you think you could mention Fairy Tail in the paper?"

Lucy pauses, slowly shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I'm not that kind of journalist."

"Oh, I see," Makarov nods in understanding. "Well, that's fine. With the way it looks like, we'll be growing in no time."

Disappointment floods into Lucy's chest. Not only because of her meaningless job position, but because of herself, too. Before she feeds too much into her emotions, she asks her final question.

"If you had any advice for someone who wanted to open up a place like this, what would you say?"

"Follow the path you believe in," Makarov answers simply. "The further you go, the more you'll see how much you believe in it."

Lucy clenches her fists below the bar. All she wants to do right now is jump up from her seat, thank Makarov for his time, and quit her job. But before her feet touch the ground, she feels an arm snake around her waist.

"You didn't get to see me win," Natsu whispers into her ear, his lips dragging across her skin. He sets his chin on her shoulder and shifts his gaze. "Oh, hey, Makarov. You met Lucy?"

"I sure have," he replies with a suggestive tone. "Seems like you struck some passionate gold with this one."

"Passionate?" Lucy and Natsu repeat at the same time. They look at one another with confused eyes.

"Well, I look forward to seeing you again, Lucy," Makarov says while hopping off his stool. "Until we meet again, you two. Don't enjoy yourselves too much."

Without giving the time to respond, Makarov walks away. Natsu and Lucy to blink at one another for several seconds. They speak simultaneously.

"You won the game?"

"What did he say to you?"

Natsu nods, allowing Lucy to speak first.

"He shared his story with me," she explains, not being able to hold back her smile. "He told me how he started Fairy Tail."

"He loves telling that story," Natsu sighs as he sits next to her. "It's hard to believe that this place is filled with kids during the day, right?"

"I bet it's a beautiful school," she says. She casts a look across her shoulder to admire the place. Now that she knows how special this place is, she wants to recognize its worth.

Natsu leans forward, almost mesmerized by her softened eyes. "Do you have a passion for schools?"

Lucy catches his lingering gaze. She turns back to the bar and looks down at her cup. "I just have a passion for stories, that's all," she explains. "Anyway, how did the game go?"

"I won," Natsu responds with a grin. He reaches over to play with her fingers. "And it only took an hour and a half."

Lucy feels a tingling sensation ripple through her body, reminding her of Makarov's words. There's no way that she can let Natsu believe that this relationship is for the long run. She doesn't have the heart for that. She needs to act fast.

"Well, I'm tired," she states, changing her tone. She pulls her hands away from him. "And I came here pretty hungry."

Natsu tilts his head, noticing the shift in her voice. "Let's go get something to eat then. There's a place not too far from here."

Lucy is about to respond, but her phone interrupts her. She finds that it's Levy calling her, which is a perfect opportunity.

"Hello? Oh, come on, Levy. I'm in the middle of a date. I can't leave—wait. Right now? Oh my, I'm on my way!"

"Who was that? What's going on?" Natsu asks, following Lucy as she abruptly jumps out of her seat and makes her way to the staircase.

"That was my roommate. She needs me to go home now." She hastily answers, quickly stepping down the stairs.

"For what? You can't just stay—"

Once they reach the entrance, Lucy stops in her tracks. Without warning, she turns around to lean forward and kiss him. It takes Natsu by surprise. Before he can react, she's already pulling away.

"Let's see each other tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," he nods, still bewildered by the whole situation. "I'll call you."

"I'll be waiting." She sends him a smile before shutting the door.

The clicks of Lucy's shoes match her heartbeats as she hurries through the courtyard. Luckily, the reason why Levy called her was to say that she was outside.

"Hey," Lucy sighs out as she slides into Levy's car.

"You're lucky that I was in the area to pick up some paperwork at the bakery," Levy replies. She shifts the car into drive. "So, how did tonight go?"

Lucy looks over at her friend with a grin. "Levy, you won't believe the story of this place. It's incredible. I'm going to have to tell you about it soon."

"And how about the date with Natsu?" she asks.

Lucy runs a trembling hand through her hair. "Oh, yeah. That was good, too. Other than the fact that he may be more invested into the relationship than I am."

"That's a good thing, right?" Levy remarks.

"Good for the experiment, not good for me," Lucy answers. "Do you know hard it's going to be to let him go after these ten days?"

"Well, that's what you signed up for," Levy states simply. "You can deal with the heartbreak another time. This is going to make your article so much richer, too."

Levy's tough love is exactly what Lucy needs. If not, she would be coming clean to Natsu by the end of the night. But after remembering that this article may lead her to more recognition, Lucy swallows her pride.

And with that, day one of the experiment is complete. Tomorrow, phase two will begin.