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#We have to get rid of him somehow!
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can't stop thinking abt how the fact that declan mattered so little to his father that the asshole couldn't even be bothered to keep the memories of the day his son was born was supposed to make up for declan's whole shitty childhood
like hey kid u know what u just weren't worth the pain. do u feel better abt it now.
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skyburger · 3 months
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RIP reo speedwagon (the jojo's bizarre adventure character) you would've loved reo speedwagon (the american rock band)
#muffin mumbles#jjba#iwas reading rhe wikipedia page for the band (Did you know they performed with pitbull. like dale mr worldwide mr 305. that pitbull)#and the band was formed in 1967 so iwas like huh i wonder when they character named after the band died. because like#**the (not they)#he was born a century earlier <- i was actuwlly right about this robert eo speedwagon (the character) was born in 1863#so in jjba canon: reo speedwagon (the character who is named after the band) ++#predates reo speedwagon (the band who the character is named after) by 106 years. Thats awesome. do you think in jojo world they were like#hey this dude seems pretty cool. lets name out band after him. Was it compleyely unrelated? does the band exist in jjba world i hope it doe#did rhe guy who invented the car the band is named after (who named the car after himself-- his initals were REO) name it after him?#cause like. this is the timeline pf events here: in 1863 robert eo speedwagon is born. we dont know what the eo stands for#in 1915 the reo speed wagon is introduced (named after its inventor whose initials are ransom eli olds)#in 1969 the band REO speedwagon (sometimes stylized R.E.O. speedwagon) is formed. theyre named after the car#(it was a random thing they picked because it got mentioned in someones uni class? i think?)#so in my mind. im thinking yhese are all correlated#in jojo world not in real life. sadly.#so im going to choose to believe the car guy heard about the speedwagon foundation and went huh. sick name! he just added his own initials#(REO) unrelated he fidnt know speedwagons (the guy) full name#and then in turn the band named themselves after the car. this is true in my heart#wait semi related what the hell was joseph thinking when he heard thet band like on the radio i know he did i know this. was he like ? Huh?#joseph joestar watching 70s & 80s musicians have the exact same names as the guys with crazy powers he fought decades ago: huh! thats weird#um i got off topic. i just wantef to make the joke in theactuwl post itself but alas. i love a good ramble#thisis a joke post (obviously) but im not joking about the ''you wouldve loved reo speedwagon'' part. i think he would 100% enjoy the music#authors note: this took me just shy of four hours to post becausde i put it in my drafts from my phone to edit in browser because#the tags broke in the editor (as they often do for me)#and this somehow ended in a detour of me installing & uninstalling & reinstalling a stupid amount of chrome extensions#because i managed to get rid of the likes and reblogs buttons i couldnt interact with posts. awful. its ok tho i solved it
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thetimelordbatgirl · 6 months
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All I got from my nan's today is that you shouldn't let me in a book shop as someone whose town lost their only book shop.
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years
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I’ve officially decided not only do I prefer rude customers over rude coworkers, but I also prefer them over customers who don’t know how to read the room
#tell me why this woman (who had a queue 5 deep behind her mind you) asked me to explain machine coffees to her; then tried to pay for#an £11.30 order with just a £10 note. then VANISHED and returned with her husband’s wallet#then when i told her the drinks would take a minute and i’d bring them out to her because our machine was backed up because it had decided#to flush itself at the same time the milk was empty and the grounds container was full; she just vanished AGAIN#which honestly had me like… fine#by now i’d memoised this woman’s face in anticipation of a future vendetta so i was pretty certain i’d find her anywhere on the premises#but THEN she returned before her drinks were ready and proceeded to hang around being unintelligible#i eventually bumped the cappucinos forward just to get rid of her and somehow a gentleman’s flat white got lost in the process#he showed up irate and i ended up having to refund it for him#it was so much#like girl literally give me a hundred of the guy who talked over me vs people like this#the lady was nice but my god. who BEHAVES like this#if your man has the money why not send your man. also motherfucker CAN YOU READ. there is a menu above my head with every drink we serve#i don’t get these people who are like ‘what teas do you have’ READ IT#some guy also tried to order a macchiato and i was like. that isn’t anything. you’re getting a mocha or you can go to starbucks#somehow this shit is still better than teaching sixth form but not always by a whole lot honestly#personal
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vaugarde · 2 years
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team plasma arc is still looking like my favorite arc overall bc N has consistently been very good but yikes the last few parts of best wishes really kinda start to fall apart
#i think i still like it a lot but i feel like the writing gets... dumber?#like every episode in this team plasma arc that hasnt had team plasma themselves orN is only Just There feels very weird#one thing i noticed is that iris and cilan keep speaking at the exact same time#and it gives me the vibe of ''oh god we arent secure in these characters anymore so we're gonna reel it in''#and this is a problem throughout bw ofc but yeah ash somehow gets even dumber and its just frustrating to watch#especially with sarah's really bland performance.#i think its also that team rocket is more common again and they just fill up screentime#and they arent even funny so its like i cant even laugh#echoed voice#pokeani lb#and overall the writing just feels more. juvenile? idk if thats the right word bc this is a kids show and all#but it feels a lot more dumbed down. which is weird bc the team plasma arc when it is going is kinda fucked up#iris and cilan also simutanously have less to do and they feel flanderized? like i mentioned iris before but cilans gone back to being borin#maybe thats why i didnt care for him as a kid bc my final impression of him was the declore islands incarnation#idk i feel like the worst aspects of bw are really starting to come out here bc they just didnt know what they wanted to do#like charizard comes back next episode and from what i remember it barely even does anything besides.... be fanservice to OS really#even tho they get rid of seismic toss which was part of why it was so iconic so why did they bother with that even
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anendoandfriendo · 2 years
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Just. Fuck. We're having a very fucking hard time right now.
This is gonna be the second Xmas we don't have a father figure. Last year we bought him a little baby yoda pancake pan and we couldn't even bury him with it because he was getting cremated.
It'll be the body's first birthday where he's dead. He won't even get to see us turn 25. Or 30. Or 35. Or 49. Or 55 when he died. We'll likely become older than our body's father will ever become, and we can't tell if we're gonna do it out of spite or grief.
He'll never see us get the PhD we've always wanted. We'll never be able to tell him directly that we're a system. He's not gonna be there to advise us when we finally are ready to buy a house and the mother certainly can't do it as well as he could, because she doesn't think like us at all. He's not gonna be there to congratulate us when we get a job we actually like, and it actually kind of hurts we can't text him to say we've got three interviews in the next five days.
The last time we saw him alive was September of 2021. We had to see his sad corpse because we didn't even know if he would get a funeral before he got cremated.
Like. This is all just gonna get worse as December 1st approaches, and Tumblr also serves as our little venty hole. We're sorry guys. :(
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ihavebeesinmybrain · 5 months
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trauma fucking sucks
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facelessfractal · 5 months
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Vent in tags
General tw for abuse.
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theinfinitedivides · 10 months
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ey. it my mother's country and i love it to death but Dominica does vex me sometimes fr fr
#ethnic blogging????? on the main????? from yours truly THEE local gay????? this is a national holiday now mark the date#anyway. apparently some f*ckass white American family bought citizenship (that's some entirely different sh*t don't ask what#the government is doing down there) moved into the country and then just. promptly began picking fights with the villagers and the#French Canadian owners of a resort who had lived there since the 90s. over a f*cking road that goes through the property#(an old plantation btw. i want to know how the government let them buy it especially but then again i don't think i want to know)#took it through court court said the road was public and they had to allow access. main mf*cker took it upon himself (ey.) to hire a hitman#to get rid of said French Canadian owners so he could have his road. this is all over the news rn there's video footage of#the mf*cker's wife treating the villagers like sh*t and then some that is bad mindedness. maliciousness. the nerve. the gall#of him to be smiling and waving at reporters when his f*ckass is being charged with double homicide excuse me??????#if he was doing something useful with his life he wouldn't have time to be planning assassinations. Lord you see and you know#these creatures and characteristics are allowed to walk free they're not dying Lord. other people dying but not them#they there with their not-dying selves making time to kill other people!!!!!!!! if they had stayed their backside in their country#and tried that it not road that would be passing through them yk it gun. bullet. light up their ass but bc they down there they getting#away with it i rebuke that. no we cannot have that something needs to be done. that's some sh*t that cannot stand some maji#and malé they trying to bring on us there i say enough#edit: if you read through all of this and somehow understood it congratulations bc as you can see the angrier i get the more#it turns into hardcore Caribbean English/some patois. not apologizing for that. if you read through all of this and didn't understand#good luck Google is your best friend sksksksk#dominica
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vitiateoriginator · 1 year
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Next week is Klaus' 10th birthday, and I'm in such disbelief. where did the time go
#my baby boy is almost officially a senioooor#I've never had a cat long to enough to see them into old age#as in my fam would have to get rid of our cats because the office threatened eviction because we weren't allowed to have em#but now we're in a place where we can have cats so I can keep my babies for as long as they both shall live#Mummas will be 9 in March approximately so that 2 nearly senior cats living with me#its amazing but also worriestf out of me#I should start a savings fund in case Klaus needs future medical care#because rn I could not afford for him to get sick#he's in perfect health rn thankfully tho#but now I'm going to be constantly anxious and worried that something will happen to him#like what if he gets cancer? like lung cancer because my fam are severely heavy smokers#or what if he gets a tumor or he develops diabetes#or what if he has a stroke or develops some kind of disease in one of his organs#or what if he loses his balance and falls off the couch and injures himself to the point of no recovery like my brother's cat boo#I love Klaus so much I hope I get to have him with me happy and healthy for another decade#I can't handle losing him#I don't think I would be as sad about it as I was for my past cats like Nachos or Dusty or Peanut. because they were all so young#Dusty being the youngest cat I lost and Peanut potentially dying in the worst way#(my fam left Peanut out in the fuckinh woods because they somehow thought he'd have a better chance at living than in a shelter#where he could be put to sleep in a matter of hours after surrendering him#vs in the woods where he probably got killed by a predator or died of starvation or parasites or disease)#but Klaus has lived twice as long as my other cats so far#and although his passing will crush me I can feel peace knowing he's gotten to be 10+ years old and live a long comfortable life with me#but he's ok rn so I should stop worrying and talking negative#Klaus is going to be 10!!! Stinky old man!! Ancient artifact looking mf!!#sam's rants about life#crazy cat klaus
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drivemysoul · 1 year
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i just had the worst nightmare i’ve had in a long fucking time and i feel like sobbing
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deadsetobsessions · 26 days
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Bruce “Sad Wet Cat of a Man” Wayne meets Danny “Sad Wet Cat of a Teenager” and immediately adopts him. A prompt? A fic starter?
——
This was pathetic, Bruce groused, wringing his cape under the mostly effective shelter of an awning. Amity’s rain was somehow more potent than that of Gotham and it managed to soak the waterproof fabric of his cape. This was not scientifically possible.
Bruce refrained from giving into the urge of slamming his head backwards into the wall.
“You’re new in town, aren’t ya?”
Bruce subtly startled, head swiveling over to the presence he somehow hadn’t detected. His heart gave a little squeeze- and, uh oh, that’s the squeeze he got when he adopted his kids. Bruce was self aware enough to see where this was going, but as usual, he was helpless to stop it.
Batman slightly dipped his head. How did the child know?
Like he read his mind, the teenager nodded. “You look like it. We know everyone in Amity. And you’re new. Tourists.” He chuckled, brushing the weird rain out of his hair. “And, you’re soaked.”
“This is waterproof,” Batman growled.
“Yeah, in other places of the world, maybe,” At Bruce’s questioning look (not that anyone other than liminal could have figured out his friendly intentions via the scary glare he had on), the kid elaborated further. “but you didn’t get Amity-made textiles. They’re made to last in any weather.”
“This is rain.”
“Ecto-contaminated rain, yeah.” The kid sighed, one hand absently fluffing up his hair and getting rid of stray green-tinged water droplets. “I’m Danny. I guess I’m your Amity tour guide today.”
Well, Bruce wasn’t the type to turn down an advantage. If this was a trap one of his enemies made for him to stumble into, Bruce had to admit it was well made and well researched. He never could turn away kids, especially ones that had that edge of work weary exhaustion to them like Danny did.
Danny, as expected, tried to fill in the silence. Alfred's technique always worked. Even on Bruce himself.
"This is the mall, by the way. It's dead right now because you're here on a Wednesday during school hours." Danny smirked to himself.
"Why are you not in school then?"
"It's called skipping. Or, for you, I guess it'd be 'playing hooky,'" Danny sassed, making quotation marks with his hands. He was exactly like Dick.
Bruce felt his heart melt. Oh no. Alfred was going to be mad again. But... it was for a good cause! And besides, what are the chances that Danny'd be a crime fighting vigilante? Can't be that high, right? (Bruce conveniently avoided the fact that statistically, the chances of him adopting baby vigilantes were pretty much at a hundred percent success rate.)
"Hng." He grunted. Danny rolled his eyes. Like Jason and Damian and Stephanie. "Where are your parents?"
He had to get the important stuff squared away first.
Danny shrugged. "Come on. There's a fabric store that way. We'll make you a rain guard first so your stuff doesn't get wet."
Ah, classic avoidance. Danny sure reminded him of Tim. Bruce inclined his head. "Lead the way."
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tacticalprincess · 2 months
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when are we getting perv!reader who really just needs a good pounding and nerd!Konig who couldnt care less about pussy and just wants to talk about his silly little guns :(
canonically accurate nerd!könig… being so excited about getting the invite to his house, under the assumption that you’re finally going to be railed into the mattress until you can’t walk by the behemoth of a man you’ve been fantasizing about every night. to be pinned down by the biceps you’ve creamed around your fingers thinking about at long last.
you’re about to pull your top off, only for him to cut you off by opening the latch to the display case for his guns, ready to walk you through his impressive collection in way too much detail. he’s just happy to have a willing audience to pour all his lonely years of stored up knowledge into, oblivious to the way you aren’t soaking any of it up, fidgeting helplessly from your place on his bed as frustration and white-hot need fuzzes around your nerves. you’ve long since stopped contributing to the conversation; pretending that your eyes aren’t honed in on the way his large hands work expertly around the weapon, and the sizable bulge between his hairy, thick thighs was a mission that was quickly abandoned. he isn’t even hard, yet he’s probably the biggest you’ve ever seen, and the fact that he isn’t letting you put it to use is infuriating :(
you’re too cock starved to do anything but blurt out the truth when he asks why you’re being so touchy, trying to convince him that you’d be a much more attentive listener if you had a stuffed mouth. and he reluctantly obliges once the faux tears start flowing from your pretty eyes, too polite to turn down such a distressed girl in need. he takes pity on you, ridding himself of his belt and feeding you his soft dick as an apology. if you’re nice and quiet, he’ll let you fuck yourself to exhaustion on his length just so he can go back to his rambling while you’re too sated to do anything but listen… it’s not the most appropriate teaching strategy, but he has to get you to pay attention somehow!
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augustinewrites · 8 months
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cw: it’s just angst
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“i’m not mad.”
satoru closes and locks the front door, trailing after you into the kitchen, apprehension rising in the space kept between you. “really? because you seem kind of mad…”
“it’s fine, gojo.” you snap. “i’m fine.”
he watches you, quiet as the two of you go about your evening routine. leftovers from meals brought to the infirmary stowed away. week-old laundry tossed into the basket. you don’t say a word to him, emotions you don’t know how to make sense of still simmering.
“i’m sorry,” he says plainly as you’re both putting away the dishes. 
you wipe your hands on the tea towel, glancing over at him. “do you even know what you’re apologizing for?”
he shifts, unsure. “no…”
“of course you don’t,” you sigh. 
“then tell me,” he insists, exasperated. “i don’t want to fight.” 
“i don’t want to either,” you snap. “but you’re doing it again.” 
“doing what?”
“you just spent a week in the infirmary. you were hurt.”
“c’mon,” he laughs weakly. “there was no real chance of me dying.” 
“that’s not the—” you voice rises, then immediately quiets when you realize the kids are asleep. “that’s not the point. you’re losing yourself in it again. soon you’re going to drift away from us— from me,” you tell him, bleeding into the pain you’ve felt the last few days. “like you did when we were in school.”
because for as long as you’d known gojo, his drive was to constantly do more. be more. the period of time after the failure that was the star plasma vessel mission was the first time you’d witnessed it. gojo satoru doesn’t do anything halfway. he won’t permit himself to.
that’s what really scares you. he doesn’t know when to stop.
“i’m sorry that i worried you,” he apologizes, sincerity etched into his expression. you know him, know that he’s scared to say the wrong thing, that he’ll mess this up or somehow make it worse. “i had to. the higher ups—”
“satoru,” you interrupt, walls crumbling right in front of him. “i’ve always liked that you care about the jujutsu world. i just don’t want you to only care about it. not with where we are in our lives right now.”
“i don’t—”
“you do! you always have, and i get it. i know the world needs you…but things are getting worse, and we need to start thinking about the future—”
“everything i’m doing is for the future. for the future generation of sorcerers all over the world—”
“i don’t care about the world! i just care about you, and that’s the problem. one person always cares more in a relationship and that’s always been me.” 
“that’s not true,” he insists, a desperate edge in his voice. “all i’ve ever wanted is you. all i’ve never needed is you—”
“i need you too! maybe that sounds selfish or needy, but i don’t want there to be a day where i have to tell the kids that you’re not coming home. if you can’t understand that—”
he doesn’t think you realize you’re crying, frustrated tears gathering in your eyes and threatening to spill over. satoru reaches for you out of instinct, your argument the furthest thing from both your minds at this moment. you let him pull you into his arms, let him hold you. 
but you’re exhausted. 
this is fight you’ve been having since the moment you’d met him, and you don’t think he’ll understand the impact of it until you walk away.
“if you don’t understand that,” you continue softly, “then maybe we need to take a break.”
_____
outside the apartment door, nanami and shoko sit side by side, sharing a bottle of "welcome home" wine.
"guess they forgot we were coming over," the doctor mutters, pressing her ear against the door to see if jujutsu tech's favourite couple was still fighting. “it’s way too quiet in there. you think she killed him?”
nanami sighs, loosening his tie. “it’s quite possible.” 
“i’ll be the alibi and you’ll get rid of the body?”
“of course.”
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rafeacs · 3 months
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Best Friend Rafe x Reader Late Nights
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Warnings: None (yet), fluff, soft rafe, yearning
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To Rafe: r u up?
Not even a minute has passed, and your phone rings with a FaceTime from Rafe. “What’d you need?” He asked, his voice laced heavily with sleep, making you somewhat guilty for disrupting his slumber. ‘I’m hungry,” You say sheepishly, watching as his eyes were barely open and a yawn left his lips. You were expecting him to say, ‘Does your house not have food?’ And brush off your late-night cravings, but he never does. “I’ll be there in five,” was all he said, and you thanked him over the phone, giddy that you’d get to sedate your grumbling stomach. 
You didn’t even bother to get dressed, only wearing your skimpy pajama shorts and tank top as you waited by the porch for Rafe. The crips night air nipping at you and riddling your skin with gooseflesh. When you see the headlights of his truck, you are quick to stand and greet him as he drives his way through the rotund driveway of your estate. You walked towards his truck, not expecting him to get off, but he did just open your door. “Thanks, Rafe!” You chirped, still full of energy, a deep contrast from his tiredness. “It’s two am, why are you still awake?” Rafe yawned once more as you wore your seatbelt. 
“I accidentally drank this energy drink, which I thought was just like regular soda, and somehow it made me fall asleep; weird, right? It’s an energy drink, and it’s supposed to keep me up, but it made me want to take a nap instead. Anyway, I took like a four-hour nap and woke at eight, and I thought I could fall back to sleep again, but I didn’t, and I started to get hungry I then thought I could just sleep away and wait ’til breakfast, but no, so, here we are.” You rumbled on, still full of life, but Rafe simply hummed and nodded as he drove into the street. 
“Where’d you wanna eat? I’m not sure if anything is open right now; our regular diner’s closed for renovations.” Rafe asked, turning to you, who he had only now noticed was not at all wearing anything beneath your tank top. Your nipples shamelessly straining through your shirt, and Rafe quickly refocused his gaze on the road, his morning wood he had just gotten rid of quickly returning. Rafe bit his lip and reached back to grab his sweatshirt, and handed it to you, avoiding looking in your direction because it was too much of a temptation. “Oh, thanks! I was cold,” You say, and Rafe could only nod, the evidence of your chilliness straining through your shirt. 
“We might have to drive around for a bit; nothing seems to be open,” Rafe muttered after a moment as you played around with the stereo system, your phone already connected to the Bluetooth because it was always you who had the command on what songs were played in his truck. Rafe’s sleepy state was awoken when you started to sing along loudly to one of those pop songs you loved. You can’t sing for shit, but Rafe could not help but be amused as you belted out the songs, a rather endearing quality about you. You only truly sang out loud when you were alone or when Rafe was around; you found the action of singing too intimate and vulnerable that you could only do it when you were in his presence. Him being the only one blessed to hear your off-key singing. 
“Why are you so quiet? You love this song!” You yelled through the blasting music, poking Rafe’s side and making him laugh, him finally singing along to the song he would never sing along in front of Topper or Kelce because they’d surely tease him. 
You and Rafe drove around aimlessly, your hunger forgotten as you and Rafe sang along to whatever song played next. You and Rafe had passed by countless newly opened restaurants, but you didn’t seem to notice, and Rafe took advantage of your obliviousness to spend more time with you. It was nearing sunrise when he finally circled around and went back to an open diner he saw a few miles back. Your energy never seemed to run out; you still sang along and randomly blabbed about everything you could think of to your best friend. 
Rafe hopped out of his car as you were still talking about some island gossip, your voice growing distant as he circled his vehicle to open the door for you, who still had not taken a breath in between the words that spilled out of your lips. Rafe sighed and shook his head as he draped his arm around your shoulders and guided you toward the diner. 
“What are you ordering?” Rafe asked you as you perused the menu. “I don’t know…” You trailed, Rafe already guessing that was your reply. “I kinda want waffles, bacon, and coffee, but I also want a burger, fries, and shake…” You said, in deep ponder, what to order. “What can I get for you two?” A waitress appeared, and Rafe turned to her, “I’ll get a stack of pancakes with sausage and a side of hashbrowns on the side,” Rafe said and placed down his menu, “And for your girlfriend?” The waitress asked, and before you could speak, Rafe ordered for you. “She’ll have the waffles with bacon, a coffee, and the cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake.” Rafe quickly said, not letting you pick between the two things you wanted to order. “Okay, it’ll be out in a minute,” the waitress took your menus, and Rafe smirked as she thought you were his girlfriend. Neither of you corrected her because it was often that you two were mistaken as a couple when, in truth, you two were just best friends. 
The two of you were enveloped in silence as you ate, too hungry to focus on anything else than your food. You were halfway into your two meals when Rafe noticed you were too quiet. He raised his gaze and could not help but let out a breath of a laugh as you started drifting off to sleep, your hand still clutching a fork that was filled with food. Rafe bit his lip and took out his phone to take a sneaky picture of you, adding the photo to his growing album of you drifting off to sleep still whilst eating. 
When Rafe finished his meal, he placed the payment on the table and went to your side of the booth to carry your figure, deep in slumber, back to his car. It surprised him that you didn’t wake with all the movements. When he reached your home, he did not even dare to wake you up, simply carrying you again and walking you back to your room before placing you in your bed. Rafe observed your sleeping form, admiring the way your lashes fanned your cheeks, and there was still a hint of maple syrup at the corner of your mouth. The sun was starting to rise, and Rafe’s own tiredness was starting to get to him. He let his hand run along your hair and boldly placed a chaste kiss on your forehead before stepping away, but you took hold of your wrist before he could. “Stay,” you mumbled, and Rafe felt his pulse in his ears at what you had uttered; he didn’t even think twice before agreeing. “Okay,” he whispered and lay on the other side of the bed, his heart doubling as you turned to him and cuddled close to his chest. Rafe wrapped his arms around you and sighed deeply, waiting for the day that you two would do this again, but not just as friends. 
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kitorin · 8 months
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g.satoru - 1:19 am
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"i can't believe you kissed him—"
it's the dead of night when gojo satoru's fuming, acting as a means of prevention to your long awaited (and well deserved) sleep.
you pull your shared blanket, covering the entirety of yourself. "shut up. not now."
satoru rips the blanket off you. "yes, now. don't try to run away from the consequences to your actions."
an effort to pull back the blanket becomes futile, as you decide not to bother. "you're overreacting."
"why him, why not me? majority of his face is forehead and he's built like a rugby ball. he doesn't even look like a man" he inhales sharply. "what about this face isn't perfect?" satoru gestures to it, hair still slightly damp from the late shower and blindfold nowhere to be seen. "this is basically cheating. why would you do this to me? shall i get rid of my bangs so i have a bigger forehead?"
"satoru, he's just a plushie." you pull the white softness of the cinnamoroll plush to your chest, fingers stroking it's fluff.
"lucky bastard..." a curse or two accompanies his words, as he wraps himself in the blanket, as far away from you as possible. "should've been me."
"satoru—"
"i bet my hair's softer."
"why don't you come here and prove that to me then?"
the blanket unfolds to reveal a pouting gojo satoru. "you even called it a he."
cinnamoroll settles on your bed's head rest, somehow balancing with his 'majority forehead face'. satoru shuffles closer to you, closing the distance between you two.
you shrug. "he's my son. my baby."
"i'm your baby."
"he's baby in the sense of an actual, cute baby. you're baby in the sense of an immature grown ass man."
he responds with an eye roll. "wow. okay. plushie's more important than me i see."
another shrug from you, biting down on your lip to swallow a snicker (it wasn't successful).
"love it's just a plushie—"
"i tried to tell you that initially." satoru faces you to pout, but it has no effect on this little squabble of yours, maybe only a giggle or two from you. "he's so cute, c'mon.
without much effort, satoru picks cinnamoroll up, staring, no, glaring at the poor dog. "you can't find someone cute after they stole your lover."
"he's my son. that would make him your son." the observation makes him stick his tongue out. "all i did was kiss him."
"me related to him? no thank you." satoru continues to inspect the plushie from the sky blue, plastic eyes to the swirly tail on its bottom. "i hate him."
"you look the same. white hair, blue eyes."
satoru scoffs, very pretentiously. "that shade of blue is so dull. mine's bright and shiny. therefore prettier."
you lean in closer, not to whisper to him but to the plush. "i guess you'll be fine with having satoru's good night kiss?"
his jaw drops—literally, betrayal scrawled on his features. "you wouldn't."
"learn to get along with our son then."
satoru huffs indignantly, but brings the plushie to his chest, hugging it tightly. "well he's nice to cuddle. and his big head doesn't look so bad anymore."
finally, you reclaim the blanket stolen from you. "we both know you love him as much as i do."
"ew, as if." but he knows very well you're correct.
[he ended up forgetting the goodnight kiss he was fuming about]
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