#Wed to the Lich

[deadrayg2mf]

Wed to the Lich (Arranged Monster Mates #8) by Layla Fae

Okay, I went into this knowing this was not the first book in the series but it didn't seem that the series may be required to be read in order as it is a collab series between Layla Fae, Eden Ember, and Cara Wylde and it wasn't recommended to be read in order - however, now having finished this I realize I may need to start from book 1 to assuage some issues I had regarding world building info. Also... that lich is just so hot... I needed to know more about him when he was what drew me to this. Which brings me to the covers!! The entire series has amazing cover art, it ranks right up there with SJ Sander's cover art that I love.

This is currently a series of 16 novellas between the above-mentioned authors, Wed to the Lich being dead in the middle at #8. It was a total of 208 pages and I read it within a quick day at work. It was a simple story which does involve triggers involving anorexia nervosa, past abuse, and animal death.

Basically, this is a world in which an event called The Shift has occurred, and from what was explained in this book alone it sounds like that was basically the... dimensional overlap of the human world and monster world where parts of the monster world ended up being transplanted into the world we know? Hopefully that is some semblance of correct as it's how I understood it. In this world, monsters rule over humans in most areas and if a human is wanting to get some cash for their family or, if you're our FL May, trying to get out of a bad situation you can sign up at the Temple and get married off to a monster.

This is exactly what May commits to as she decides to escape the abusive orphanage director who haunts her thoughts when it comes to beauty and its relation to her size and food consumption. How well this goes about depicting the troubles that come with experiencing an eating disorder I could not say, so I will leave that up to your interpretation if you choose to read. May gets married to Virgil, the all fearing Lich who can suck out your life force with just a look.

The following story revolves around May's struggle with food, her inner demons, and being beautiful for Virgil who is also struggling with how May views him and fearing that one day she may come to fear him and try to leave. In the end, they end up working out their troubles with each other's help and are a lovely couple, no matter what those town villagers think. I liked both May and Virgil's characters, he was really checking the marks for me as both loving and caring but strict and forceful when he felt necessary. By the end, May had come into who she was as a person when she wasn't tormented by her past.

My main issue comes from how I felt finishing the book. I had read 208 pages of what essentially felt like it had amounted to nothing. Unfortunately, for all that happened, there wasn't enough deep diving into characters, relationships, or true plot that it felt worthwhile. It was one of those where I was shocked it was so long for how much I got from it. I think it's a really cool story, I love a Lich, and I love a FL battling her inner demons and unafraid to seek help from another in order to do so. The way May was willing to just be blunt about what was going on versus other characters who might hide things that lead to a (beloved but sometimes overdone) miscommunication was rather refreshing.

I think I would have really enjoyed this story had it been more fleshed out. The writing was good, but the content felt unsubstantial. For all of that, I'll give it a 5/10. Mid but enjoyable and full of potential.

Would I read again? No, but not because it was bad. Just because there wouldn't feel like a point.

Would I recommend? Yeah, I am gonna go and try out the series from the first book - Wed to the Ice Giant also by Layla Fae - and then pry check out at least on book by each of the other authors. If I don't like it - you'll hear about it :)

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb: Every living thing is repelled by my corpse-like body… but not my wife.

Liches are almost gone, only a handful of us left. I must marry to keep my race from extinction, yet how? No living female will ever stoop so low as to marry a lich. People fear us. They say we are the harbingers of death, bad luck, rot and decomposition. In one last bid to carry out my duty, I request a wife through the Temple. She turns out to be a neglected, sickly thing with trembling hands and downcast eyes, seeking an arranged marriage out of despair. And she’s perfect. Her blushes burn hot, her voice rings with feeling, and her kisses taste like summer. She is life personified, all warmth, light, and sweetness, and I crave her like darkness craves the sun. But will she sacrifice her warm, beating heart to a creature of death like me?

The Temple, a matchmaking service for monsters, shifters, and aliens, is open for service. Arranged Monster Mates is a series of novellas written by your favorite paranormal and sci-fi romance authors: Eden Ember, Layla Fae, and Cara Wylde. Each of these steamy stories has it all: a possessive male, a heroine ready to sacrifice herself to the beast, plenty of spice, and a happily ever after to curl your toes!

Review:

He's a monster who yearns for a bride and she's the broken ballerina who wants someone to love her, a monster and his bride, and a really sweet romance (with Beauty and the Beast vibes). Virgil is a lich, he consumes energy and is made of bone, he knows humans fear and are disgusted by him but he yearns for a companion, someone to love and be his bride, someone to not fear him. May is an orphan ballerina who was raised by an abusive Madame who made her think the only way to be loved was to be skinny, and has caused her to have an eating disorder. May has finally escaped the orphanage but she yearns for someone to love her despite how ugly she thinks she is. When May and Virgil are matched and wedded, both of them must find a way to open up to each other. It's a sweet love story about two people falling in love and becoming vulnerable and sharing with each other. i loved how sweet and caring they were to each other and how much they wanted to reassure the other that they are loved. It was a sweet read.

[bn-brightflower]

This book was so sweet I can't.

[narrie]

https://twitter.com/haloxangels/status/1742948249776820250 historians will say they were close friends 😭

💀 i wish i was this delusional fr, name one female friend harry has ever been this close with i'll wait

[umbraastaff]

More TAZ Balance speedrun exploits:

With the new glitch to get the Light at the start of any cycle, you can now technically enact Lucretia's Shield on the Hunger anywhere before Faerûn for any%. However, this hinges on the given world being able to defeat the Hunger in the final battle. The earliest success so far is at Legato, if you get the arts students to tap into their rage.

You can use RNG manipulation to get the Slicer of Tapir-Weir Isles to appear on your first Costco run, though this is only useful if you're doing the Garfield Ending (why) or on NG+.

Barry can use a multiclassing slot to learn Lup's double jump ability in Cycle 23. Then on Faerûn, you can use the Infinite Jump glitch to get Barry to the Moon (bypassing the lich barrier by being alive), which causes the game to skip to Reunion Tour. However, the number of perfect inputs this requires in a row means this is considered impossible outside of TAS.

You can do a Reunion Tour skip as early as Phandalin, however. A few years before Gerblins, you can glitch lich!Barry into the Dryad Tree area of Goldcliff. You're not meant to get there until the end of Petals to the Metal, so everything's there, including the Love buff you can get standing near the tree. Barry can then get a second stack of Love (normally impossible) by going to Magnus' wedding. Then you immediately have him resurrect in his body, which freezes all buffs he has in lich form. If you then keep him alive until Phandalin, when the fire kills him, he'll have both stacks of Love plus his own innate bonus. The game won't let Barry possess party members, but since the Gauntlet isn't technically equipped by anyone, he can possess that. The OP Love buff slows the Relic Corruption debuff to a crawl, which keeps him there long enough to pass through the Moon barrier and, again, trigger Reunion Tour.

Taakitz% players figured out that Barry can do a mass zombie-raising at the Glamour Springs graveyard the night before the show, which gets Kravitz on the scene and causes him to meet Taako. Like all crime scenes, this also has a 5% chance to spawn Angus and jumpstart the Magic Mentor quest.

[wakinguponsaturday]

Gale after I explain that of course I'll marry him, but we can't go back to Waterdeep for our big fat greek wedding just yet because we're overthrowing an undead lich queen and an archdevil, killing at least two gods, and curing vampirism

[solisaureus]

Robin's Solangelo Fic Recs

many of these fics are old or have a lot of attention already, but if you're antsy waiting for The Sun and the Star to come out, here are some solangelo fics to fill your brain with heart emojis!

double-crossed, star-crossed, fingers-crossed by orphan account - 2.2k - During their first kiss, Nico sees Will glowing, but keeps it to himself. Will doesn’t even know he’s doing it until someone else sees them kissing and gets very flustered. Soooo cute

echoes of lies that i told by demigodbeautiies - 29.9k - College AU, Nico agrees to be Will’s fake boyfriend for Naomi’s wedding. He curses himself later when he catches real feelings, assuming Will would never actually see him that way (spoiler alert: he would).

 My memories of you by Fl_utterby - 56.1k - Will is cursed by Niobe to lose his memories, including his years-long relationship with Nico. When he shows up at Camp Jupiter, Nico arrives to take him to Camp Half-Blood in a cross-country quest with Reyna. Bittersweet and soft with a happy ending!

 i could be your hero by sundaysabotage - 10.8k - a few years down the line, now that Percy Jackson is off at college, Nico finds himself in an unexpected position of senior authority at Camp Half-Blood. It’s not easy to reconcile with his own self-image. Light on the solangelo, mostly a Nico character study, but very good!!

The Rose of Paphos by Tundras_and_Taigas - 19.3k - The Aphrodite cabin unearths a magic item that indicates whether the holder has romantic feelings for someone, and discover that Will has a big crush on some person he won’t identify. Nico finds out about this and gets in his head about who that person could be. Feelings ensue! Also has a whole chapter for Mitchell/Connor if that’s your thing. Very cute and soft with a nice take on the Aphrodite cabin.

our lips set the sun by @thebhorror - 4.1k - a soft first kiss that Nico has spent 10 months agonizing over. In-character and sweet with a delightful payoff.

lich by @pinkerpick - 2.6k - content warning for death, torture, injury, and suicide! Since Thanatos was chained while Nico was in Tartarus, he dies many times and always comes back still trapped in the pit. Also light on the solangelo and more about Nico, this is some seriously well-done angst. The follow-up fic, penitent, wherein Nico confronts Hades about the events of this fic, is also very very good!

i bleed for your love by flannelfeelings - 7.5k - Nico semi-unintentionally keeps getting himself hurt so he can hang out with Will in the infirmary, because he is too repressed to just ask Will to hang out. Super well written, heartwrenching character voice, and butterflies-inducing romance!

Austin’s Best Barbecue also by flannelfeelings - 3.8k - Will gets hurt protecting Nico from a monster, so Nico shadow travels against doctor’s orders to Austin to get Will some of his favorite comfort food from home. While there, he accidentally meets Will's mother for the first time. Super super cute and funny, this author has great fics!

 Falling for You (Literally) by peanutbutterapple - 4.8k - Nico is acting weird before he visits Hazel at Camp Jupiter. On his return, before Will can ask him about it, Drew Tanaka pranks everyone with a magic hat that makes the wearer feel their romantic feelings very intensely for everyone to see. So adorable and Nico’s reason for his weird behavior is the best thing. 

Opportunity Knocks by nikkiRA - 35.5k - Nico tries to kiss Will, who freaks out and rejects him. Nico decides the same day to run away from Camp Half-Blood, but is intercepted by some meddlesome gods who trap him in a time-loop. He repeats the same day over and over until he can find out what it is he was supposed to fix about this day. I love a good Groundhog Day AU and this one is awesome!!

 constant craving (however hard i want, i never really get) by @thebhorror - 5.5k - another banger character study focusing on Nico’s unmet (and then met) need for affection throughout his character arc. A very believable and heart wrenching deliberation on Nico’s character arc and how his relationship with Will complements it! 

there are so many lives i want to share with you by penandblankpaper (@kiarrahatesboys) - 8.7k (so far) -  still a WIP but a WIP that slaps, this is a post-ToN, pre-TSatS solangelo mini-quest story. Rachel informs Will and Nico that they need to take a journey with no goal before they go to Tartarus or they will die. Lots of soft banter and gentle familiarity with a bullet train of angst incoming! Please read it (for me) please please please

Bonus: Solace by solisaureus (that’s me!) - 73k - A Will character study to complement all these Nico character studies, this work spans the entire narrative across all three series. This is my longest PJO fic and the one I poured the most love into! Though the fic is about Will and his coming of age, there’s plenty of solangelo in here.  

I (and many of the other authors in this list) also write a ton of other PJO fics so do check those out too!! :) happy reading!!!

[absolxguardian]

[Elminster and Khelben Arunsen] proved to be worthy and capable receptacles of her power, but Mystra's other early attempts to invest her power in living humans were unsuccessful, and she came to realize that only a very few mortals were of stern enough substance to contain such power within themselves without being destroyed or corrupted. Even though some people aside from Elminister and Khelben may have possessed the requisite strength, it is possible that having lived for years prior to being visited by Mystra had set them on a path from which they were not able to deviate. Whatever the reason, the problem needed to be solved. To get around the difficulty, Mystra devised a plan to use herself as a vessel to breed individuals who could be nurtured and acclimated to her power from the very beginnings of their lives. For the father of these individuals, she picked the best example of human stock she could find: Dornar Silverhand, a nobleman and a former Harper who lived near Neverwinter. Mystra then possessed the body of Elue Shandur, a helf-elven sorceress whom Dornal was already attracted to. Mystra revealed her presence and her plan to Eleu, who happily and eagerly agreed to have the goddess share her body. Eleu had been reluctant, but under the influence of Mystra the woman became a seductress, and Dornal found his advances being suddenly returned with great fervor. Dornal and Mystra/Eleu were wed in the Year of the Drifting Stars (760 DR). The first of the seven daughters, Anastra Syluné, was born the following winter. Sylune's six sisters emerged at one-year interval thereafter: Endue Alustriel, Ambara Dove, Ethena Astorma (she prefers the name "Storm" these days), Anamanué Laeral, Alassa Shentrantra (known today as the Simbul) and Erésseae Qilué. These siblings have become known in Realmsian lore as the Seven Sisters. Dornal, who had been kept in the dark about his wife's true nature through the years (presumably because Mystra didn't want to risk losing his services), was disappointed and distraught by the time his sixth child was born; he had always wanted sons as well as daughters. More importantly, he was seeing his wife deteriorate right before his eyes. The strain of coexisting with the goddess all these years had turned Eleu into a withered shell - in essence a lich, clinging to life only because Mystra's power was within her. When Eleu was carrying the seventh child, Dornal consulted a priest who told him his wife had been possessed by a entity of great magical power. To spare both of them any further agony, he attempted to slay his wife's physical form by severing her head from her body. As soon he had done this, Mystra was forced to reveal herself to him, and she went on to explain her scheme. Just as she had worried would happen, Dornal was aghast at how he and his wife had been used by the goddess. He turned his back on the corpse of his wife, abandoned his lands and his children, and vanished into the North. Mystra bore him no ill will, and in fact protected him for the final 30 years of his life. When Dornal finally did meet his end he called out to Mystra, and the goddess granted his continued existence as her servant. Now known as the Watcher, Dornal Silverhand travels the world unseen by mortals on a continuing mission to locate candidates to swell the ranks of the Chosen and to identify possible threats to Mystra and her minions.

-History of the Chosen of Mystra (Baldur's Gate 1)

Hey Mystra what the fuck. This also creates an interesting paralel to Bhaal, who also foresaw his death during the Time of Troubles and thus went and had mortal children. (This is a different Mystra from Gale's Mystra, but they're all reincarnations of the preceding goddesses)

[j4gm]

SPOILERS!!! REFERENCES AND EASTER EGGS IN F&C ep. 9: CASPER & NOVA (1 of 2)

I hit the image limit so this post will be in two parts.

These last two episodes feature traditional Adventure Time title cards with intro credits, which is something the others haven't had.

There is a butterfly floating above Fionna when she enters the "Land of Ooo". The same thing happened to Cake when she entered Ooo, and to Simon later on, but this butterfly doesn't have a face on it like those. This is our first hint that something is wrong.

The Betty statue in the background of this shot is on top of a four-faceted object that sort of resembles Glob's helmet; an item that she used to gain her magic powers in You Forgot Your Floaties. Also in this shot are several gnome fairies from The Enchiridion and Billy's Bucket List, and of course Mrs Cupcake and genderswapped Chocoberry. Mrs Cupcake has appeared before but I think Chocoberry is a new design for this episode.

This is our first and only look at what Hunter Wizard would look like. Mostly the same as his main universe counterpart.

This species of dragon first appeared in Memories of Boom Boom Mountain and has been in several subsequent episodes. I'm not sure who the giant cyclops is. It could be a genderswap of the cyclops from Another Way, or perhaps the rock giant from Five More Short Graybles.

Lots of the text in this scene is hostile. There is this sign behind the counter, of course, but lots of the books on the shelf also have violent names.

This series loves giving us extremely fucked up Simons.

This background character looks like Phlannel Boxingday. It would be hilarious if that was the case, considering he is widely assumed to have been a disguise of Princess Bubblegum rather than his own character.

This might be genderswapped Tiffany. She's wearing Tiffany's pink shirt under her jacket. Maybe she has a masculine name in this universe.

We get a better look at the newspaper from the first episode, featuring Betty. It also features the fake butterfly from the dream which feels like a bad omen.

Marshall Lee's t-shirt features the cake pop from Princess Bubblegum's rock shirt, first seen in What Was Missing.

The Lich first mentioned being a Scholar of GOLB in the episode Whispers. In this episode it is confirmed that he has been working towards his goals in GOLB's name. But it doesn't seem like he's actually had any line of communication with GOLB this whole time. GOLB doesn't seem to appreciate The Lich's efforts to wipe out all life; and now that GOLB is fused with Betty, they certainly don't.

The Lich rips off Billy's skin to reveal his skeletal form, which is the same as it was in Escape from the Citadel, complete with the metal plate on his ribcage.

GOLBetty turns the Lich into a tetronimo, implying that all of the tetronimoes surrounding them were once powerful beings who defied GOLB; perhaps they are even all alternate versions of The Lich.

Shermy and Beth! This episode incorporates a lot of the extra lore that writer Steve Wolfhard published shortly after the release of Come Along With Me. It canonises the fact that Shermy and Beth are rebels who oppose the tyrannical rule of Gibbon, who is Charlie's future son from Daddy-Daughter Card Wars. This place is the Pup Kingdom, which is featured in the Come Along With Me title sequence and is a central part of Wolfhard's 1000+ lore.

These are the same kinds of soldiers as seen in Graybles 1000+ when Cuber interrupted the space wedding. In that episode, you only got a very brief glimpse of their jowls. This episode makes it more obvious that they are pups.

All of these pups in the windows are designs from Steve Wolfhard's "Every Pup Has a Power" series of drawings. They once had superpowers, but their powers were extinguished by Gibbon.

This is Jake's favourite mug from the episode Puhoy, and the house in the snowglobe is Tree Trunks' house.

There is a Shermy plush in this pile of junk. There might be some other recognisable stuff in that pile too. I think the popcorn machine is from something but I can't remember what, and the pool toy might be a reference to the Lub Glubs from Beautopia.

This is our best shot of the Pup Kingdom, with its space elevator.

Beth is a revolutionary communist confirmed.

Shermy Simon shouts breadballs, an expletive that he previously used in the episode Simon & Marcy.

The clouds in Fionnaworld are shaped like GOLB blocks while Simon is in the presence of GOLB. We also get a better look at all the glitched out buildings, like that door that leads nowhere.

I think the creature next to Gunter in this advert is a yeti from the show Summer Camp Island, which a bunch of Adventure Time alumni went to work on after the original show ended.

There is a poster for Super Porp, a fizzy grape juice introduced in the episode Dark Purple, along with their mascot Cheryl.

Jake is on these packages in one of the shops.

The Library looks incredible now. In the original show, only the top part with the dome could be seen sticking out of the ground. Either the ground has eroded away to reveal the rest of the structure, or the library has been greatly expanded over time.

Turtle Princess is dead and apparently a robot took over her empty shell and continues to work as a librarian. These are the first gun-books we've seen that also function as actual guns.

These are the pagelings from the episode Paper Pete. They're much larger than they used to be. They don't have many books left to protect these days.

Casper & Nova mention lodging in the seaside town of Scandia on their quest to find the crown. This is a reference to the fact that Simon and Betty found the crown in Scandinavia, as mentioned way back in Holly Jolly Secrets.

I hit the image limit! Link to the second part.

[mayullla]

{ - Original Works Masterlist - }

Do not repost or copy my writing!

(F) = Fem!reader / (Gn) = Gn!reader

Some works could or will include: Dark themes (yandere, murder, manipulation, noncon "-", etc) and Sexual themes (touching, kissing, implied smut but not mentioned) So please read the tags/warnings that are written on each post!!!

+ Cupid's Arrow ;; Yandere Cupid 2.7k words | (f) | 2022

+ Android's wired love ;; Yandere Android 1.9k words | (f) | 2022

+ Three wishes ;; Yandere Genie 3.6k words | (f) | 2022

+ Robotic Parts ;; Yandere Robotic Mad Scientist 1.3k words | (f) | 2022 | Implied mutilation

+ Cries and graveyards ;; Yandere Banshee drabble | (gn) | 2022

+ Temple's chest ;; Yandere Mimic Chest(?) drabble | (gn) | 2022

+ Golden Mirror ;; Yandere Mirror Demon(?) 1k words | (f) | 2022

+ Frozen breath ;; Yandere Ice Spirit drabble | (f) | 2022 - Continuation: Cold Hands | drabble

+ The village's graveyard ;; Yandere Lich drabble | (gn) | 2022

+ A new house, a new home. ;; Yandere Ghost 1.5k words | (f) | 2023

+ A Broken Wife ;; Yandere Slime 5.1k words | (f) | 2023 | JRPG quest - Continuation: It's two now... | 1.1k words

+ Locked in another realm ;; Yandere Kitsune 1.3k words | (f) | 2023 | 🎁

+ A Cruel Punishment ;; Yandere Viscount 4.7k words | (f) | 2024 - Conti: The Wedding is Today - Ask: Reader dies while pregnant. - Ask: Stockholm syndrome - Ask: The ex-fiance wanted to come back

+ Creature's Infatuation ;; Yandere Doppelganger 1.2k words | (f) | 2024

+ Princess rescued by the hero ;; Yandere Hero (Vale) Drabble | (f) | 2024

+ Obsessive Passion ;; Yandere Witch's Apprentice 3.4k words | (f) | 2024

+ He took away his own kind. ;; Yandere Kitsune (2) 5k words | (f) | 2024

[phoenixcatch7]

Every so often I drift back to the overlord anime but I can never stay for long because it's a good 70% smut with the succubus and 20% side character drama that never goes anywhere. It's a similar premise to svsss, in that a modern guy accidentally gets sucked into a fictional fantasy world he was obsessed with as the villain with a group of people and a place he rules over and wants to protect, and his paranoia/procrastination combo strategises his way to victory.

So of course I thought, 'let's get our dear old scum villain (affectionate) in here'.

Cuz i'mma be real sy would make an infinitely more interesting panicking lich king. Take off that emotion nullification, for starters.

A) pidw was a vr mmorpg with a vast, overarching storyline of the rising emperor lbh, whom players could battle or wed for rewards. A respawning final boss of such strength it took a world wide unified invasion of top players to fell. When sy gets pulled into pidw and all the npcs come to life, so too does lbh, who is very confused as to what happened but remembers sy as one of the players who fronted the invasion (having dug up every nugget of lore on lbh and using that vast knowledge in strategy) and carries an immense grudge that eventually turns into love as he gets to know sy. Sqh is there too, of course, the uncredited game dev who made lbh and his right hand man mbj, who's own base in the north got retaken when mbj also resurrected and is having his own worrisome love story.

B) sy and sqh are in the same guild, named cq, and the demons are sqhs overly detailed npc. Lbh works as the guardian overseer, aka the head npc, and as they wait for the game to shut down sy sneakily makes a joke in lbhs character sheet about him loving sy. They get sucked in, the characters come to life, and sy spends the time he isn't using panicking about the situation, five dimensional politicking, or protecting the base being in denial about the whole lbh thing (and his no homo) and feeling DEEPLY guilty (and hiding it from sqh). Lbh, of course, now having free will, thinks about it a bit and decides to fall madly in love with his kind, gentle, soft hearted lich king boss in spite of his loyalty to his creator. Sqh goes 'dude, wtf' and so goes a very long back and forth as sy tries and fails to come up with the right code of ethics to deal with this insane situation he inadvertently created, meanwhile lbh is strategising how one could feasibly get railed by a skeleton and being the Best Housewife Right Hand Man Ever. And get headpats in the process.

C) sy was part of the xianxia themed cq guild, and everyone (the peak lords) got sucked into either ygddrassil (overlord world) or pidw (svsss). Basically, all the peak lords are millennials old friends running around trying to deal with the consequences of their role play and finally getting to try out the fancy food and drink. I love this one because everyone would be really comfortable with each other, lots of slang and in jokes, a well oiled team stuck in a crazy situation together with ridiculously powerful characters each and every one, and you could have sj as a member! Sy could be the beast tamer peak lord. It'd be so interesting to see what they'd class and subclass as. Sy might still be a lich, but Yqy would be a really interesting choice! Him and sj would definitely still have history though... Hulijing, wood elf, bamboo spirit, human, who knows!

D) sy spent a few years as the lich king guild leader in ygddrassil (I'm definitely not spelling it right), bored by the lack of anything interesting, before the system intervened (maybe as a remnant of the original game interface?) and whisked him off to svsss. Post canon he gets either revealed as an imposter or there's some past life wife plot (some animal that was a boobacious beauty in its past life getting cursed to switch between them?) that turns sy into his old big bad lich overlord form, which is hilariously incongruent with his personality but utterly terrifying and anathema to the jianghu, but lbh is now having to crane his neck back and desperately trying to figure out how to get dommed. Everyone is fully convinced this is sy's og body, and not some modern human one they don't even get to see.

E) sy gets yoinked by system and when lbh (and maybe some others?) catch up a few years later he's in the skeleton body in ygddrassil dabbling in world domination and very eager to see them. The npcs get introduced and draw many incorrect conclusions.

[slymewizard]

IF ANY OF YALL HAVENT WATCHED ADVENTURE TIME OR STOPPED PARTWAY THROUGH AND WANNA BINGE IT BEFORE FIONNA AND CAKE ENDS NEXT WEEK HERES A LIST OF EPISODES THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT! (And a few that are just good to watch in general) (Adventure Time lore is dense and filled with references to previous episodes so theres a lot to cover even cutting out unimportant ones. Start as soon as possible so you guys can finish in time for thursday)

Season 1: The Enchiridion, Ricardio, My Two Favorite People, Evicted, What is Life, Ocean of Fear, Freak City, Henchman, Finn Meets His Hero

(9 episodes)

Season 2: It Came From the Nightosphere, The Real You, Death In Bloom, Susan Strong, Go With Me, The Limit, Mortal Folly, Mortal Recoil

(8 episodes)

Season 3: Memory of a Memory, Too Young, Wizard Battle, Fionna and Cake, What Was Missing, The Creeps, Beautopia, Holly Jolly Secrets (parts 1 and 2), Dad’s Dungeon, Incendium

(11 episodes)

Season 4: Hot to the Touch, Return to the Nightosphere, Daddys Little Monster, In Your Footsteps, Sons of Mars, Burning Low, Lady and Peebles, You Made Me, I Remember You, The Lich

(10 episodes)

Season 5: Finn the Human, Jake the Dog, Jake the Dad, All Your Fault, Bad Little Boy, Simon and Marcy, Puhoy, Be More, Sky Witch, Frost and Fire, Too Old, Earth and Water, The Vault, Play Date, The Pit, Apple Wedding, Blade of Grass, Rattleballs, Betty, Lemonhope (Parts 1 and 2), Billys Bucket List

(22 episodes)

Season 6: Wake Up, Escape From the Citadel, The Tower, Breezy, Something Big, Joshua and Margaret Investigations, Is That You, The Cooler, Evergreen, Astral Plane, Gold Stars, The Visitor, The Mountain, Dark Purple, Jermaine, You Forgot Your Floaties, Orgalorg, On The Lam, Hot Diggity Doom, The Comet

(20 episodes)

Season 7: Bonnie and Neddy, Varmints, Mama Said, Stakes (Parts 1-8), The More You Moe the Moe You Know, Kings Ransom, Crossover, The Hall of Egress, Flute Spell

(16 episodes)

Season 8: Broke His Crown, I Am A Sword, Bun Bun, Normal Man, Elemental, The Music Hole, Preboot, Reboot, Two Swords, Do No Harm, Jelly Beans Have Power, Islands (Parts 1-8 except maybe 2)

(18 episodes)

Season 9: Orb, Elements (Parts 1-8), Abstract, Ketchup, Fionna and Cake and Fionna, Whispers, Three Buckets

(14 episodes)

Season 10: The Wild Hunt, Bonnibel Bubblegum, Seventeen, The First Investigation, Jake the Starchild, Temple of Mars, Gumbaldia, Come Along With Me

(8 episodes)

(136 episodes total, 143 episodes skipped, approximately 25 hours and 40 minutes total)

None of Distant Lands is SUPER necessary but I recommend watching all of them.

REBLOG THIS SO MORE PEOPLE SEE IT THE MORE PEOPLE WHO WATCH THIS THE MORE LIKELY WE ARE TO SEE ADVENTURE TIME GET MORE ATTENTION FROM HBOMAX!!!

ANYWAY ENOUGH READING GO GO GO!!!

[chaoticbardlady99]

Darling, Never Stop Haunting Me

(Astarion x F! Ghost Reader)

Chapter 10: Til Death Do Gale and Tav Part

Synopsis: You and Astarion attend Gale and Tav's wedding and respective bachelor parties (a quick filler before shit gets wild again). Astarion is disgustingly, horribly in love.

CW: Briefly described wardrobe smut, dead dove (Astarion's past)

Disclaimer- it's a pic crew and I am obsessed

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Thank you for all your support and love!

Chapter 9: Chapter 11: AO3

Astarion walks behind Cazador against his own will. In spite of all the fight Astarion put up- he is never going to win. 

 He doesn’t know why he is being punished or what he could have even done to be punished. He had been behaving very well to avoid additional beatings.

 Two years of being a vampire spawn- he thought he could figure out the game and play it, but there is no game. Just master and spawn. Astarion is nothing anymore and it destroys his entire being.

  The silver knife etching poetry into his back stings and aches- it’s been hours now and Cazador isn’t close to being finished. 

 He feels at the edge of his death again, but this time he is desperate for the relief death would bring. Everything hurts- it all hurts so bad and he feels so horribly alone. 

  Astarion braces himself for the next part, blinking away his tears and pain- to be met with the sight of a glowing hand on top of his. 

 He looks up and tries not to make it obvious that someone is there- he wants to enjoy this moment, even just a little longer. He swears he can feel the gentle touch on his hand like a crux for his brain. 

  The woman is beautiful and shimmering- he knows this person. 

  It’s you- he’s no longer in Szarr palace because how else would he be able to identify who you are? This is just a dream- this isn’t really happening again.

  The pain fades and so does Cazador- the world has slowed down in its entirety as his brain focuses on you. 

 His ghosty- his silent savior. He thought you were an angel at the time. You sobbed for him, telling him how sorry you were that you couldn’t stop him, you tried to possess Cazador and you became overwhelmed- he was going to destroy you and you don’t want to leave Astarion alone for eternity. 

 Good- he doesn’t want to be left alone for all of eternity. He doesn’t want to be without you. 

  Then you are gone- turned into that creature the Lich said he would turn you into and a scream leaves Astarion’s throat. His heart shatters, his bones break, his head splits, and his back aches.

 He thought he knew pain, but maybe he never did. 

  Astarion wakes from his trance with a gasp and he is trembling. His head whips around as he tries to find you- remembering that he was forced to stay here and be apart of the Bachelor party.

  The Lich took you- he must have. Maybe he disguised himself as a very handsome individual and Tav’s words held some merit- you wanted to explore options. 

  Why else would he have that dream? You need his help and you need it now. 

  Astarion gets up and leaves- not bothering to grab his daggers or his armor. The other men are fast asleep, he will be back before they even realize he is gone. 

  Waterdeep is still booming with people- men and women cat call to him, but he’s too focused on finding you to care or insult them. 

  He has to find you- even if you have chosen someone else. Even if Astarion was just a fun time for you- you were not a fun time for him. You are his entire world and being intimate with you has meant everything to him. 

  If you did meet someone else- what would he do? Could he survive that? 

  He tried giving you space all day to see if he could handle it and he can’t. Astarion was sick to his stomach the entire night and had to fight very hard not to be an irritable prick because Gale doesn’t deserve that. 

 You did tell Tav it was a ‘dumbass’ thing to say that you would want to meet others, but you both hadn’t necessarily defined what you are to each other so you didn’t have a plausible reason for why it was a dumb thing to say and your modesty around intimacy would never allow you to just openly say you had sex with him last night and then sucked him off this morning. 

  Then there is the other worry.

Did the lich get to you? What if you are already turned and there is nothing left for him to do? What if you are gone already and he was too late- even by a second?

  He pushes the thought down hard. His entire body felt like it had given up at the thought alone.

  He climbs on the side of The Crawling Spider that is not facing the guards- hoping he can sneak into a room and find you. 

 If only to make sure you are safe. 

  ********************************************************

 You are sitting and staring at the ceiling of the tavern room as Tav, Shadowheart, Karlach, and Lae’zel are fast asleep in their own beds, in their own rooms. It was convenient that the Tavern had a big enough space for everyone, but you miss Astarion horribly. 

  You like waking up in his arms and you had only just spent your first night ‘together together’. Not that you would just offer that information up to these individuals. You don’t want to be the person who leaves the Bachelorette party to be with their partner, but you really are only friends with Tav here. Everyone else is so very nice, but it’s obvious that you are not established and it’s made the entire night somewhat uncomfortable for you.   

  The Crawling Spider was a just fine tavern- it is a big dance place with music that is enhanced and warped with magic. It was fun until a couple of men became grabby and tried to drag you off. You were panicking and couldn’t get away from them. They had hungry, lustful eyes and you still shudder thinking about it. 

   Karlach barely caught you in time, told the tavern owner  so they would get kicked out, and decided it may be time to call it a night. Shadowheart and Tav were hammered- Lae’zel had gotten too zealous in the beginning and was already fast asleep upstairs. 

 You didn’t have a single drop to drink- you had a feeling this may not be the safest place to let your guard down- you are glad your gut feeling was correct. 

  Your room is in the right hand corner of the main suite with a massive window. The others complained about how horrible it would be to wake up to a hangover and the sun at the same time. You were happy to take the ‘least desirable’ spot. 

 You could see the Tower from here and you wonder what Astarion is up to with the men. He had tried to convince Tav that he is far closer to her than Gale and that’s why he should be apart of her bachelorette party instead- Tav wasn’t having any of it and told Astarion, “Birdie deserves the chance to meet other people and see if she doesn’t meet someone she’s interested in! Stop cock blocking her, geez.” 

 You had been absolutely livid when she said that. You said she was out of line and she was surprised with your words. Astarion had smiled at you, but his eyes were entirely too sad and he didn’t talk to you for the rest of the day. 

  Your heart is aching- you want to know what you did wrong and why he didn’t talk to you after that. 

 You hope the ceiling might eventually give you an answer, but it remains entirely silent and you have to keep reminding yourself that it is probably nothing.

  *tap, tap, tap*

  You freeze- not daring to look at the window. You have a magnificent view overlooking the ocean, but there were no guards walking around on this side so Gods only knows who is outside your window right now.

*tap, tap, tap*

  You look out of the corner of your eye and jolt up immediately- Astarion is staring in the window and he looks like a nervous wreck. His hair is somehow in disarray and his eyes are somewhat frantic. 

  You gesture to give you a moment and you get up to check the others are asleep before you close the door to your room and lock it. 

  You open the window and you expect him to hop in, but he’s studying your features like this may be the last time he ever sees you. 

 Is he going to leave? Did he feel like he made a mistake after all?

“Did you meet anyone?”

 “What?” You ask in bewilderment.

“Did you meet anyone that you like- I hope they are kind if you did?” His voice cracks at the end and somehow, it all clicks into place. 

  He doesn’t think he’s good enough for you to choose him and he was mentally preparing for this moment. He had been preparing for his rejection. 

  Your poor, sweet Astarion- how could he ever think you could want anyone else besides him? 

 “No- I only want you, Astarion,” you lay on the bed and pat the spot next to you, “join me?” 

  He crawls inside and immediately lays his head on your chest, wrapping his arms around your waist. Your hand finds its way to his hair and you begin to fix the disheveled mess (fix being a loose term). He sighs with relief and you feel him begin to relax. 

 You feel so much happier- your chest feels lighter. It wasn’t anything you did directly. Tav had just gotten into his head. 

“I was worried, you know,” Astarion whispers, “you could have anyone- you don’t need to settle for me. You do know this, right?” 

“I am not settling.”

 “Yes, you are,” you can hear the lump in his throat, “I am damaged and you deserve someone who is perfect.”

 You are going to say it because you mean it and he needs to hear it. 

“I love you, Astarion and you are perfect to me. Hells, you’re perfect for me,” your voice shakes, “from the top of your head to the tip of your toes-  I love you and no one else is of interest to me.”

  The momentary silence is deafening- you are grateful when Astarion at least moves. 

  Astarion kisses you, lovingly, slowly. You breathe a sigh of relief as you return it. You are surprised to feel tears falling on your face as Astarion hovers over you. You try to pull away so you can look at him, wipe away his tears, but he just will not let you. The kiss only become deeper and deeper with each moment- you feel lost in it as you lovingly play with his hair. 

 “I love you,” he says between kisses, “I love you so much- Gods, I love you so much.” 

  You smile against each other’s mouths, returning to the previous activity with ease and less tears. You have only known this dance for 24 hours and yet you adore it more than the majority of activities you have ever engaged in. 

  He tastes of iron and his favorite wine, his cologne consumes your senses, and you can’t help but think about how easily, perfectly, your body fits with his. 

 “Stay the night?” You whisper, looking up at him, “I miss you too much to sleep.” 

  Astarion beams and nods happily- placing a chaste kiss on your lips and you both adjust so that he is curled around you. He leaves soft kisses along your jaw and cheek bones- you giggle when his eyelashes flutter against your cheekbones. 

 It’s not too long before you both fall into peaceful trance/sleep. 

 Morning comes, you are alone and a part of you is convinced it was all just a dream. Well, until you truly wake up to Tav squealing about a note she found on your side table because Karlach busted open the door when you wouldn’t wake up to her knocking. 

 “Ara sal’shiral*, I already MISS YOU SO MUCH! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU AT THE WEDDING. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!  ASTARION!”

*means My Life, but literally translated means “love of my life” or “you are my soul’s journey.”

 Lae’zel looks positively unamused but gives you a smile and Shadowheart is nursing her hangover. Karlach and Tav didn’t drink enough apparently. 

 “TUNES AND FANGSSS SITTING IN A TREEE- K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!!”

 “Did privacy become a thing of the past after I died!?” 

You are so embarrassed, not because they know, but this has to be the way they find out!? You come from a modest time period- courting is a private thing. Yes, you have skipped a significant amount of steps, but you would like a little bit of privacy as you both figure out the intricacies of a relationship. 

“It is now!” Tav exclaims, “what changed!? When did he admit his feelings!?”

  You don’t know why, but their excitement and wide eyes on you makes you feel… like you belong? Like you have girlfriends like every other woman seemed to have during your time period. 

“Well- um we… were intimate two nights ago and-“

“WHAT!?” Tav screams.

“HOW WAS IT!?” Karlach asks leaning forward, “I want to know if Fangs is as good as he says he is.” 

“It was incredible,” you whisper coyly, “he was so sweet and gentle- accommodating.” 

  Tav and Karlach both awe and lean forward for more.

“What?” 

“What happened last night!?” 

 “Oh- he came to see if I had met someone,” you frown when you remember how devastated he looked in the window, “please don’t do that again, Tav. He was a mess and looked horrible. He really thought I wanted to meet other people.” 

“I-I am so sorry,” Tav says with a genuine look of guilt on her face, “I didn’t think it would hurt him that much. I just wanted you to both be together after all this time.”

“I really appreciate the sentiment,” you say with a smile, “I know you meant well and all is forgiven.” 

  The remainder of the day goes by in a blur- you are actually having an amazing time with them now that there aren’t a billion people around. You help each other do your hair, make up, and get your dresses on.

  Well, Karlach is actually in a very fancy, one shouldered teal romper with bright orange spots, Lae’zel is in a two piece, black dress suit and the jacket is open revealing a low cut top that accentuates her figure, and Shadowheart is dressed to the nines in a dark gray, chiffon gown with a tight bodice and off the shoulder sleeves. 

 Tav is a stunning bride and she looks positively curvy and bodacious in her A-line silhouette with a long skirt. Her veil is just as beautiful and stitched with the same flowers that are on her dress.

  The carriages arrive and you all stammer down the stairs- you are clinging to the skirt of Tav’s dress for dear life, attempting to keep it from getting dirty or torn. 

  The carriage ride is even more packed with energy and Karlach pulls a bottle of whiskey from her pocket, passing it around as everyone listens to Tav gush about Gale and how excited she is. 

“Gods- I cannot believe I am marrying him!” Tav squeals with excitement, “of all the things to happen during our little adventure- who would have thought I was going to meet my damn husband!?” 

 “You guys were so cute at camp,” Karlach says with misty eyes, “disgustingly, merrily in love.”

“What is it that Astarion would say?” Shadowheart muses with a smile on her face, “it was something along the line of ‘those two dorks were made for each other’.”

Tav giggles, “he was so protective. Gale made me cry one time and Astarion hid his favorite pair of shoes on top of Moonrise Towers.” 

 You remember hearing this story- Gale had been positively distraught while Astarion snickered from far away. 

“If only Tunes had been there!” Karlach claps you on the back, thankfully you hadn’t taken a sip of the whiskey yet, “we probably would have seen an entirely different Astarion!”

“Hmm I do not agree,” Lae’zel says flatly, “he is still the same around us- snarky, flirty, caring, but not completely unguarded- he only softens for you.” 

 Shadowheart nods in agreement, “Astarion really changed towards the end once you showed up. I mean everyone was thrilled to have a cat around, but he was practically a nervous wreck anytime we left. Orin spooked him pretty bad- he was worried one of the assassins might retaliate.”

 Well this is news to you- you didn’t realize he had been so stressed out about your safety. You were always with the others who stayed behind and they were all seasoned warriors.

“Gods he was insufferable then!” Tav laughs, “none of us realized how attached he is to you.” 

 “Eh- I knew,” Karlach says with a shrug, “I got him drunk enough one night on blood and red wine, he began talking about ‘Ghosty’ and how he wishes they could talk to him because he wants to know them and how they kept him from being so lonely and tried to help him. How grateful he was- hells I think he even asked Wyll if there was a way to bring a Ghost back from the other side at that point.”

 You blink, stunned.

“When was this!?”

 “Hmmm pretty early into our journey actually,” Karlach says with a nod, “it was after we accidentally blew up the Creche.”

 Lae’zel rolls her eyes and grumbles while the rest of the group snorts. You actually don’t know this story.

“Well you can’t just say you blew up a creche and not tell me the story!!!!”

 The group dives into the tales and dangers of the Creche. Everything they saw, Lae’zel’s son who is staying with Bex and Danis (apparently they are an adorable couple who loves to babysit, they say it’s good practice as Bex’s belly continues to swell everyday), the inquisitor, Vlaakith, everything. Then they tell you that, yes, they did in fact find the Blood of Lathander, however, they did not realize they needed a special pin. When none of them were willing to grab it- Tav called them all cowards and grabbed the damn thing. 

 They do admit that Astarion had died which horrifies you, but apparently Withers (who is also attending the wedding, for whatever reason) brought Astarion back and he made sure to read Tav the right act- going as far as keeping her far far away from the Orphic Hammer because he was not about to have the House of Hope topple on top of him. 

 They even go into that story- the flames, the battle that felt like it took eternity, and Hope, who is also happily coming to the wedding. 

  It’s fun to hear other perspectives- Astarion tells the stories in the same fashion, but more flourish and leaves out the embarrassing parts about him.

 For example- him walking up to a stuffed bear giggling and saying, “RAWR!” 

 “He never tells me the silly stuff he does,” you shake your head ruefully, “he would do silly things like that at Szarr Palace too, but it was very rare. Usually only if he thought I was around- I suppose.” 

“How did you end up in Szarr Palace?” Shadowheart asks with her brow furrowed, “Astarion only said you weren’t a part of Cazador’s shit show, but refused to elaborate further. He said it’s yours to tell and not his.”

“Oh! I did not realize it was even a secret,” you say nonchalantly, “Donella Szarr killed me, Cazador’s aunt and Vellioth’s maker. She tried to turn me into her first vampire spawn, but something happened and I died. 

“At one point, I may have thought I was cursed,” you say wistfully, “but now I am grateful because I never would have met Astarion otherwise or been able to help him when I could.”

“Oh you have done more than help, Birdie,” Tav pats your leg with a massive smile, “you have truly saved him and we cannot be more grateful to have someone like you taking care of our sweet traumatized Fangs.” 

  That makes you a lot happier to hear than you thought it would. It’s nice to know that others see it and it’s not Astarion saying it to you just because. 

  “Thank you, that means a lot,” you smile, “I am so excited to celebrate you and Gale today, Tav. I could not think of a single soul who deserves such a wonderful love story more than you.” 

 Tav grabs your face and gives you a big, tipsy kiss on the cheek. 

“We are going to party until the sun dies!” 

  Oh no. You aren’t sure if you can commit to that, but she is quite tipsy so it probably doesn’t hold any merit. 

 The conversation jumps to Shadowheart and Nocturne- Nocturne is at the wedding and waiting for Shadowheart. They are so adorable and happy together. Damien and Karlach are also happy and doing their weird situationship thing. Lae’zel has actually managed to create a connection with Minthara of all people. The two have been raising Lae’zel’s son together and they are extremely happy. 

 It’s so wonderful to be amongst a group of people you can finally relate with, but you are still eager to be reunited with Astarion again. You cannot wait for him to see you all dressed up- especially now that you can kiss him and vice versa. 

 The carriage pulls up and Tav is met by her parents- who walk her to the bridal suite so that they can prepare to walk her down the aisle. The rest of you go inside the venue and begin looking for your own loved ones.

 But you can’t seem to find Astarion anywhere!

 You walk down the emptier halls, catching the slightest whiffs of his cologne. You hope he is okay.

 You are suddenly being pulled into a wardrobe and your shriek is cut off by a hand against your lips. Your red eyed lover stares back at you in the darkness and it’s like clockwork. 

  Not a single bit of words, just your dress being hiked up and the top being pulled down to reveal your breasts, his pants coming down, and he is pushing himself inside of your already extremely wet cunt. The closeness and the need for him has taken a life of it’s own and you have a feeling you don’t have much time anyway- not that you wanted foreplay. You like how full you feel with him right now as you stretch around him- the desperate snap of his hips as he ruts up into you and his mouth covers yours, swallowing your whimpers and moans. 

“I… have… been… waiting,” he says between kisses, looking lovingly in your eyes, “all… fucking day. You all took forever.” 

  He doesn’t let you speak- not that you could say anything intelligent and understandable, but you let him take you happily. You just hope the wardrobe isn’t shaking around too much- everyone would know what is happening in here. 

“Love you- so much,” he moans into your neck and his hands are tangled in your hair, “Gods- you are incredible.” 

 Your orgasm hits you and you are panting like a bitch in heat as he continues to take you. Your moans are guttural and full of pleasure. It’s not long before you feel him cumming inside of you- the pulse of his cock against your walls is hypnotizing. 

  You are both breathing heavily when you kiss him gently. 

“I… love... you too,” you say between breaths, “I have missed you so much.” 

 “And I, you, my Love,” he places kisses along your neck and begins to rub your exposed, throbbing clit. 

  Gods you want more- you need more. You want this to go on for hours.

“I need you,” you whine, “I need you to be inside of me again.”

“Hells,” he groans into your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin, “it would be remiss of me to not give you what you desire, my Love.” 

  One of his deft fingers slides inside you with ease and your back arches- his other hand pulls your head back by your hair, making you look at him. A tight coil is already forming in your belly as he leaves a love bite on your neck and-

“TUNES! FANGS! Wedding is about to start! Where the hells are you!?” 

 Uh oh. 

 You are both quickly dressing each other - your poor clit desperate for stimulation again, but now is not the time. 

“We are going to have to continue this later,” he growls possessively into your ear, “I’m no quite done with you yet.” 

 An involuntary gasp leaves your lips and suddenly the wardrobe door is being thrown open. 

“You guys couldn’t wait until after the ceremony before you became absolute freaks!?” Karlach exclaims while ‘covering’ her eyes, “Birdie! Your hair!”

 Fuck. You didn’t realize that it is now hanging down your shoulders loosely and no longer in the elegant updo that Shadowheart had done.

 Karlach grabs you and begins dragging you in that direction, “FANGS! AFTER HER HAIR IS FIXED- WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE CEREMONY!” 

               *********************************

 You and Astarion are sitting up towards the front of the room where the main parties were. Astarion would have pitched a fit if it was anyone else’s wedding, but it’s Tav and Gale’s so he will behave. 

  He wants to be in the back with you sitting on his lap, fighting to not interrupt the ceremony as he slowly moves you up and down- split on his cock as you should be. 

 The moment you told him you love him, his entire world had intensified. He has thought about you all day, wanted you all day. Astarion wants to be alone with you for a week and never leave your shared bed. 

 Naked, smelling of each other, and blissfully looking back at him as you both laugh and talk before ultimately falling back into love making or even just a simple nap.

 The moment he saw the carriage pull up- he knew he had to lead you away so he could have even a moment of relief from his desire for you. He originally was just going to say honeyed words and rile you up, but he saw you in your dress with your hair up, exposing your neck and collarbones- he couldn’t wait. Teasing you would only be teasing himself. 

  He wants to listen to Tav and Gale’s vows, but all he can think about is you. 

  The first time he felt your presence was his third week in spawn hood when he was struggling to fix his clothes- sobbing and feeling pathetic for what happened to him. The flame had come back with full force when it died- he saw the outline of your hands. 

  You- his first friend, his silent savior, and the love of his entire life. 

 You love him in return. You have stuck by him and you came to his aid the moment you found out he was going to be kidnapped. You helped him find a cure for the sun and you have defended him against people who wish to use him.

 And you are all his.

 You look stunning in your Lavender dress and the happy tears that fall down your face during Gale and Tav’s vows makes him think about what he would say to you. 

 Astarion would promise to be by your side- in life, death, and undeath. He would let the entire world know that he has promised to love you for the rest of his existence. You, his beautiful bride, all his and being celebrated as you should be.

  He can’t wait. He will, but he certainly doesn’t want to.

 Gale and Tav kiss and you hop up with everyone else and clap ecstatically. Astarion steps behind you, putting his head on top of yours as he claps too. 

 Tav looks at him and winks- shooting him a look that says, “you’re next.” 

 The wedding is fantastic and far more fun than he thought. You love to dance and you teach him moves from styles that you learned a whole century and a half before he was alive. 

  Astarion hates crowds, he hates being gawked at by lustful onlookers, but with you? He doesn’t care. They can look and want all they want- you are his and he is yours. 

 Men and women approach both of you all night- only to be met with disappointment. Some even try to say they would love to be in bed with both of you- watching you tell them to hit the road has been wonderful. 

  You sway in his arms with your head on his chest and his lips touching the top of your head as the music continues to play- you are both off to the side, no longer in the mess of dancers on the floor.

  You had drank some more of Karlach’s whiskey and you have decided it isn’t for you- Astarion nearly spit out his own drink when you took a sip and began gagging on the spirit. He had introduced you to a nicer vintage wine that you very much enjoyed and your cheeks are a beautiful blue- entirely flushed. 

“Star?”

 “Yes, my Love?”

“Where do you want to travel next,” you look up at him with wide, excited eyes, “now that the wedding festivities are wrapping up and you have your ring of Sunwalking- we can go just about anywhere!” 

 Astarion’s smile threatens to break his face. He had been wondering that too, but didn’t want to push you too hard. He can continue to train you outdoors and Leon won’t be around anymore so it will be significantly safer. Your ability to become incorporeal as well will keep you very safe. 

“Hmmm- we could go to Candlekeep,” he muses, “maybe we could find old law and crime books- some music sheets.”

 You brighten up at the mention of music sheets- Gods you are so fucking cute. 

“Yes! Oh- I could learn how to play more funky songs with my fancy violin! Maybe we could even find a tavern that might let me play! I made a lot of money that one night long ago,” you say wistfully, “shame I never got to spend it.”

 Astarion twirls you and then pulls him back to him- one of your hands on his chest and the other on his hand. You look so sickeningly in love- he can only imagine how he looks. 

“A massive shame- it must be amended at once.”

“So Candlekeep?” You ask excitedly.

 Astarion kisses the tip of your nose, relishing in the way you scrunch your face with a sweet smile. Your eyes are so bright and happy. He wants to see you like this everyday.

“I would say it’s a date.”

Tag List: @n3rdybirdee @fandomarchiveilyd @dajeong @hotmesshobbit @godoffuckedupcats @bitchstarion @hereliesblackdragon @pebble-bb @preciouslittlebhaalbae @lavvyan @beepersteeper

[skinnywalker]

Hi~ 😄

Can I request a Xenk x chaotic good Fem reader, where Xenk meets Reader by accident and she’s a sassy lady, who keeps getting her life interrupted by one ridiculous event after another..

like girl just want’s to be normal and raise her adopted child in peace, BUT NO~ ancient spirits & gods keep giving her gifts and blessing… mostly in spite that she ignores them, and amusement at her frustration about the whole thing.

The small sassy ball of chaos, to Xenk’s Tall calm problem solver~

Tired of all this shit (Xenk x fem reader)

Xena was a Saint in every form of the word. Loving every creature of the earth with any good in them. She however are different.

"I don't see the reason to let them have the helm Xenk. They wouldn't use the treasure for anything good."

Edgin smiles in his stupid cocky way.

"Is this your dear lady love?"

She scowl at him as Xenk kissed her check.

"Want will you do with Forge's treasure then huh? Share it with orphans like the Saint you are Edgin?"

"Like you know anything leech."

"Do not speak of my lover that way Edgin it is not only rude it is not clever. She has much more of a hold on stronger beings than you and your friends. When we first met she was fighting off Azuth."

The group fell into shocked silence before Simon spoke.

"The god Azuth?! How did you survive?!"

"Funny that I fell into one of his disciples wedding brigades and that apparently draws you a lot of negative attention."

"That's how we met in that same field."

Xenk kisses her cheek.

"Yeah he tried to save me and almost got killed which happened later again with the children of the night."

Simon dropped the book he was holding.

"And the time with the red Wizards reborn as a lich. That one really sucked."

"You fought a lich and lived!!!?!"

"Totally on accident too."

The group all stood in frozen amazement as she pick up the book Simon had dropped.

"I take back everything I said she can lead us anywhere."

Xenk smiled again.

"A wise choice my friend. A wise choice."

[barry-j-blupjeans]

"Lucretia," Barry's voice said, urgent. "Take down the lich wards."

Lucretia hadn't had a full conversation with Barry in… years. There was a time, years and years ago, where Barry would reach out to her every once and a while, or she would reach out to him. The lonely years. The first few after the Redaction, where she felt much older her body said, even after Wonderland. Sometimes, she find him and they'd just sit. They wouldn't talk about it, they wouldn't try to argue with each other. Lucretia knew that Barry needed that as much as she did. He was a lich built on bonds for goodness sake.

Other times, Barry reached out to her. He'd give her updates on what was going on down planetside. He kept track of Taako's tour for her, though she hadn't needed an update after Glamour Springs. He delivered a gift from both of them to Magnus's wedding, an old wooden duck hidden in an unmarked box. He kept an eye on Merle for her as he left the Coralheart Clan.

The last few months had splintered their relationship more than ever and Lucretia knew it was her fault. But you couldn't make a good story without a good villain and, well, Barry was right there. After Goldcliff, he had called her. Lucretia's heart broke a little more with the single-word question "why?". She had hung up without answering.

Now, he was calling again.

"What-"

"Lucretia," Barry said. "Please."

Lucretia hesitated. She had been doing that a lot recently.

"Tell me what for," Lucretia said, already walking toward her holy ward to turn it off.

"They-" his voice crackled through the Stone. "Taako has Lup's umbrastaff."

Lucretia exhaled. Alright. She could deal with this.

"He's had it since before he came up here," Lucretia said, voice low. She deactivated the traps on the way to the smaller voidfish room. "I'm- I'm sorry, I don't know when he go-"

"No," Barry said. "Listen. Taako has Lup's umbrastaff."

"I'm aware, Barry."

"The umbrastaff Lup designed to absorb defeated magical things," Barry said. "If- If Lup died with it- she did, they told me she did in the- the crystal lab thing- Lucretia, if Lup died with it, Lup is inside it."

Lucretia stopped in the middle of the hallway.

"Oh," Lucretia said. "Shit."

"Yeah," Barry said.

"Shit," Lucretia said again, with feeling.

"Yeah," Barry repeated. "Lucretia, I can't- if she's in there, I can't just- we can't leave her in there, I gotta- we gotta do something."

Lucretia tightened her grip on her stone, as she had started to lose her grasp. She tried to think. There had to be a logical way to go about this.

Narratively speaking, Barry was her enemy. They were two sides of this same fucked-up coin. That being said, Lucretia was struggling to recall a time in the last few months were Barry had vocally argued with what she was doing. He had his chance, in the Millers' Lab. He could have told the boys she was lying, or that she was the one who couldn't be trusted. Instead, he had left them with a warning that had nothing to do with Lucretia at all. He wanted to help them. She wanted to help them.

"Are we sure," Lucretia said, walking with intent towards her holy ward, "that Lup is inside the umbrastaff?"

"Eighty- no, ninety- ninety-five percent sure," Barry said. Lucretia took a deep breath in, but Barry continued. "Luce, just- you've been around Taako more than I have the past few months. Have you ever seen the umbrastaff do something without his control? Or have you heard about it doing something- something weird or like it's acting by itself?"

"There was an… initiation trial," Lucretia said. There was a sinking feeling in her gut at the fact that she had been able to think of an event immediately. "When the boys joined the Bureau. Taako, uh, snapped his wand by accident and went to use the umbrastaff instead. And with the magic that Taako knew at that moment, the Magic Missile he shot was nowhere near the skill he possessed. That's not a- I'm not trying to downplay him or his abilities-"

"Lucretia," Barry said. "Try to tell me Lup wouldn't try to fuck up something that Taako is facing, especially after he lost his only weapon."

Lucretia slid the door to the small voidfish chamber open. The baby voidfish floated to the top of its tank, peaking out at her. The holy ward sat on the table nearby.

"Take down the lich wards," Barry said again, sounding more than a little desperate. "I'm- I'm beggin' ya, Lucretia. Please."

"Finding Lup… isn't going to stop me," Lucretia said. "You know that, right?"

"Lucretia, I- I'm not gonna say what you're doing is right, but I know I can't convince you otherwise anymore. I'll play along with whatever weird, shitty story you've got set up if you can help me get Lup back."

"You can't come up here," Lucretia said, setting the stone down on the table.

"I just want-"

"You've got a whole moon's worth of people who think you're the bad guy, Barry," Lucretia said. She picked up the ward, turning it over in her hands. "And I'm- I'm sorry that it came to this, but even with the lich wards down, you can't come up here."

"Ple-" his voice cracked. "Please, Luce."

"I'll get her to you," Lucretia said. She turned a notch on the ward, deactivating it. Her hands were shaking when she set it down. "I promise."

Lucretia hung up the stone, cutting off whatever Barry was going to say. She set the lich ward back down and took a deep breath, trying to really feel The Director role for what she had to do next.

She had a few plot holes to figure out.

[usernose]

Prismo and Scarab: You're the most repulsive person we’ve have ever met.

Lich: I throw my used car batteries into the ocean.

*they are getting married as both Prismo and Scarab are in wedding dresses*

Lich: Where the fuck am I?