#Who asks for advice but never takes it?

[writingislife20]

I want a book about post-apocalyptic world, it starts out with these four survivors, who are all in their early to mid twenties, with the oldest being 25. They are trying to find other survivors/find out what started the apocalypse. I want them to be traveling, getting close to where they think the apocalypse started and surrounded by a group of creatures (I’m thinking zombies, but if you can be more original, let me know.)

Just when they are starting to despair, a car horn sounds. A minivan careens into the circle, killing several of the horde of creatures. Adore is thrown open, and a preteen girl, picture her head out and screams at the top of her lungs “ GET IN!!!”

They start scrambling into the minivan, while the monster shuffle at them. When the last person gets in, the girl throws the door closed and yells, ” Step on it, Rosie, and don’t hit another building!”

They turned to see a nine-year-old girl in the driver seat, with a 13-year-old boy looking like he was about to hurl. They drive so fast that one of the passengers definitely gets close to sickness. The nine-year-old keeps giggling, and whoever’s point of view it is is death scared of this little girl.

They get driven to this camp area that has obviously been turned into a hideout, with a gate enclosing it. There, they are greeted with a gaggle of kids, ranging from 7 to 16, with two elderly women, and a girl who stands out as being the oldest and probably the leader. She seems to be a lot older, and is very confident, giving directions to everyone. She takes the four of them to a side room, and shuts the door. All four of them are pairing for some sort of shovel talk. None of them are expecting to see this girl. Sigh, Nina against the wall and ask “Are any of you homophobic? because I am not willing to deal with that during this whole thing.”

Turns out, this place used to be a conversion camp that flew under the radar, and this girl had been breaking her little sister out of it when this whole thing started. Most of the kids have been fine, as they’ve been on lockdown due to her entering, almost all the faculty was dead or had abandoned the kids when everything started. The only adults who were left were the lunch ladies and the grandmother of one of the kids, who had been there visiting her grandson.

This 19-year-old had been put in charge of a gaggle of kids, and three older women who did not know how to take care of that many children. She asked the team for help dealing with the kids, crying that she needed an adult.

The group of four look at each other. Only one of them has experienced with children, and that is with a few kids from daycare, who are arguably younger than these ones. All of them are grad students, who barely survived the apocalypse due to sheer dumb luck, antisocial behavior, and their ability to dodge people attempting to bite them (grad students get crazy and cranky when you tried to wake them up or take them away from their work). All four of them are human disasters, then they look at this kid, who didn’t even get the chance to go to college, who is begging for help, and looks like she’ll cry if they refused to help.

They all collectively decide that They will be the responsible one. all of their other friends are human disasters, so they have to clean up their behavior and take care of this girl and the many children she has under her care.  they know they’re going to help.

The problem is, they are all human disasters, who barely know how to cook. They are trying to be responsible, but they only have one brain cell, and it passes between them with no warning.

The rest of the story should be a mixture of comedy(these 20 year old trying to take care of a bunch of kids) and apocalyptic drama (these old ladies, trying to figure out why the apocalypse started, with a few appearances from Timmy, the grandson, who is seven years old and was sent there without the grandmother’s knowledge.)

Just, let the responsible grandparents figure out how the apocalypse started and why, while the grad students try to be responsible for 20 to 30 kids.

[heavenlydreamangelflyhigh]

moms getting competitive w her eating disorder again

[widevibratobitch]

moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love

[sleepless-crows]

.

[uncanny-tranny]

Am I still nonbinary if I don't dress gender-nonconforming?

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm an amab nonbinary agender and I feel like I need to dress androgynous or at least gender-nonconforming, or I am not enby anymore. Some days I just want to wear a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, but I feel this pressure inside myself to force myself to dress androgynous or wear "fem clothing" or otherwise I will not be nonbinary anymore. And losing my identity is the last thing I want. I finally know who I am and have labels to express who I am, and I don't want to lose that.

So I force myself to dress a certain out of fear of losing who I am.

I hope this makes any sense.

I totally get where you're coming from, and sometimes it does feel like there's some obligation to "preform transness" or "preform nonbinaryness" - especially if your experiences with gender are considered non-normative in your culture. That is not your fault, but also: you are not obligated to play 4D chess in order to be respected as an agender/nonbinary individual. That means you don't have to dress any way in order to prove yourself worthy of being respected. I know people exactly like you who dress hypermasculine, and I know people who go the complete opposite route and dress hyperfemininely, but at the end of the day, they are just as nonbinary and/or trans as the rest of us.

I'm no less of a man, for example, if I wear a tux or if I wear high heels. A woman doesn't become less of a woman because she hates to wear dresses. Why would you lose your gender if you decide what you like to wear or how you like to present yourself? The logic applies to you

There will always be assholes who demand you to conform to their ideas. But why would you take advice from somebody like that? If they cannot even stand the notion that you are different and that that is okay, why do they deserve you? They don't!

I know this is hard to really digest, and it can take months if not years to get used to. It can feel ugly to go through, but it's worth it, and you don't have to do this alone. But you can never "lose" your gender, no matter how you look, no matter if you transition (or how you transition), no matter if you experiment with anything. You are just as spectacular in a T-shirt and shorts as you would be in anything else. You would still be you. And honestly, what more could somebody ask of you?

[sharkneto]

Any advice on writing when you get no feedback?

I assume you mean posting some writing and then not getting any interaction? The cliche and true answer is to write for yourself, which you should be doing always.

But that's lame and abstract and, while true, not actually helpful.

First of all, it sucks. There is no way around it, it straight up sucks to not get any interaction on something you spent lots of time on and is very personal and takes guts to share. Let's all put an F in the chat for those snips and fics that just didn't go anywhere after posting. We remember them, at least.

Second, after poo-pooing the advice "write for yourself", I am going to seriously repeat it but expand on it so I'm not an asshole for doing so. I'm going to be honest, getting (positive) feedback on writing is like, the best drug I know. It feels incredible. It motivates like nothing else. It feels terrible to not get any after getting a taste of it on a previous project and it makes it hard to want to write (hear that, readers? tell your favorite authors you love them and their writing if you want more writing!). It's really hard to have a healthy relationship with comments and interactions because of that validation and dopamine rush they give. But you have to figure it out if you want to make writing/sharing writing a long term hobby (of which sharing is an optional part).

Forget, for a second, about readers. Are you excited about what you're writing? Do you think about it and can't wait for a chance to write those ideas down? Do you like reading it? The answer to all of those should be yes. That's not always achievable - I know many authors can't read their own work because they are their own worst critics. But you should at least be a little obsessed with your idea and thinking about it and the process of getting it down onto paper (er, screen). If you are writing something you don't care about but think readers will like, you've already lost. You are going to have 100x more fun writing some bullshit no one but you cares about than a plot you think is more boring than khaki but is all the rage in your fandom right now. Practice thinking about writing as a fun hobby for you rather than content creation for internet validation. If you can't, it might be a good idea to step back and take some space for a bit - it's fine, it will all still be there for you when you're ready to come back. I had to do that a bit ago. There's no shame in it.

Next bit is, if you can, find an enabler. Just one person you can throw snips and stories at and they want to read them and want to talk about your ideas (I hope it doesn't need to be said but you should reciprocate and chat about their ideas, too). If you have this outlet, rejection from the masses is a million times easier. You have someone to share all your thoughts with, someone you can go "look! I made this!" to, you don't have to bottle it up by yourself. I'm lucky, I have a few great enablers. I found them through mutuals and discord servers. Find your little private pocket of support.

Last bit is putting the feedback you do get into perspective. Set your expectations correctly - most people aren't going to be that Big Fic that everyone in the fandom has read and kudo'd and commented on. If you end up there - how lucky! But 99% of us are not that person. Set your expectations to the size of the fandom - is it huge or are there like 8 of you. Remember that every like or kudo or comment you get is a real, live person on the other side of it, who came and read your writing and took the time to signal to you that they liked it.

Picture it like you're in a bookshop, doing a book reading of your fic. Got six likes? Those are six real people who sat through the whole thing and clapped at the end. Got a comment? That's an actual person who came up at the end to tell you, to your face, that they liked it, which is much harder than just clapping (kudo/like). And that's not counting for the other people loitering in the shop, not committing to sitting down to listen but still listening and enjoying your tale while they browse. Can't forget our lurkers even if we wish they'd just take a goddamn seat and clap!

What I'm getting at is that the interactions you do get can't just be numbers, because they're not. The internet right now is so focused on quantifying interactions and follower count and numbers numbers numbers - it's easy to forget that there are real human beings on the other side of those numbers. The value isn't in the quantity, the value is in the individual you touched in that brief moment while they read what you wrote. For me, at least, that makes it easier to appreciate the interactions I do get.

Secret actual last thing I'm going to say on it? Fuck 'em. You wrote some good shit, it's their own problem people are sleeping on it. Fandom is fickle, you're not going to please everyone, might as well please yourself. Keep going out of spite, keep putting your shit out there until it finds the right people who will appreciate it or the others get their heads out of their asses.

TLDR: Write for yourself, enjoy what you're writing, find an enabler, remember every number is a real person, and - at the end of the day - fuck 'em.

[gattmammon]

Interactions with my mom are hilarious.

Her: "Ask your doctor if he can put you on a ketogenic diet for 20 days I'll send you the link."

Me: "No."

Her: "WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP"

Me: "Mom I just said no".

[shyspider]

Do you have any commenters on your fics that you keep an eye out for/are your favroties?

Yeah but there are so many! They've added up over time. I'm slow to warm up to others, but if these ones were to vanish from the internet, I would definitely notice. I have favorites in tiers, and these ones are just from Ao3, alone. I won't name names, but they know who they are.

There are commenters that I'm emotionally invested in. I follow them because I like knowing how they're doing as a person than a reader. They could literally stop reading and commenting and I would still interact with them. ~ I have one commenter who's been around since my first fic, made me my first fanart, and is in art school. They're working so hard and I'm rooting for their success over in my little corner. ~ Another just seems like such a chill person that I would hit a bar with if I liked public places. They're about to have a baby, and I'm very happy for them and wishing them the best. ~ I have another OG commenter who gives me amazing feedback - like, the kind that has me taking notes. They shared with me what they do for a living and they are literally the coolest person in my book. ~ There is a writer and artist who's given me good constructive criticism. I respect them, and reblog anything they make to show my support, even though its a different fandom.

Then I have a those who give me raving book reports in my comments. When their names come up in my notifs, I usually stop what I'm doing to read right away because I know its going to brighten my day. ~ One is so scholarly, and just gushes over the details I never expected readers to notice. ~ Another is so feral, and their energy just literally makes me laugh. I always look forward to their rabid comment.

And there are those that are like return customers. They come in, know their order, say a few words, and are off. I know their names, and welcome them every time. Some of them have been around for a long time. Some of them are new and have said something that stuck with me, and makes me go "Ahh it's you, again <3" whenever I see their name, and I hope they keep coming back.

I have a lot of favorite commenters on Ao3, and a few more on Tumblr, and I wonder if you're one of them, Anon.

[emsylcatac]

OK GO OFF, GENUINELY STAN TF OUT OF AN ARTIST KNOWING THEIR BOUNDRIESSS. it can take some people a lot time to realize that no, you dont owe anyone anything with ur art. its UR art. youre allowed to make what you like, and NOT MAKE what you do not like. its just-- highkey its honestly refreshing. sorry if this seems dumb or unrelated

HAHA THANKS ♥︎ (and this doesn't seem dumb or unrelated, there are people who need to hear it because they'll feel bad for refusing an ask like the pv anon one when they shouldn't)

that person has been sending that ask to ML artists for years, I remember when I first joined the fandom something like 2 years ago and so, they had sent me 2 asks as soon as I started dropping art (and it was more agressive like "draw pv felix bridgette tango dance" dhjdfhj). Back then I had been pretty nice because I felt a little bad for rejecting their request like "I'm sorry :// I hope you understand ://" but now I don't feel sorry in the slightest

And they've done it to lotssss of artists in the fandom it's ridiculous, and never with a "please" or anything

And you know it's the kind of person who will never leave you a thank you, never reblog what you drew for them for free, and for all you know they're gonna repost what you did on instagram or something 🤪

Some people really think artists are at their service and they can just ask like it won't take us hours to do a drawing. Some even take the opportunity when we do ask games & ask people to send us a character to draw, to drop their OC so they can have it for free, sorry but no, if you can't draw then go on picrew or something for that hahaha

But anyway for every new ML artist who hasn't had that PV anon yet: if you get it don't waste your time with them they're annoying ✌️

[myothertardisisonthemun]

I decided to try watching a magical girl anime series as an adult, and I'm instantly sus of the ones handing out magical powers, like,

But why though? Why are you picking children, young and impressionable to do this? My brain is ringing child protection alarm bells right now

Yes! Girl, get out of there. Your body's been changed without consent, and you're being recruited for a fight you didn't ask for.

[anya-chalotra]

hey ava! I'm sorry i don't mean to bother you, i just wanted to say your ted lasso gifs are absolutely amazing!!

Quite the opposite of a bother, rest assured. 💖🥺 It's little assurances like this that make me feel like the unjustified (read: ridiculous, outrageous, crazy) number of hours I spend with Photoshop open are a little more justified. I probably would have giffed the show sooner, but Life™ got in the way around the time of S2 airing, and then this past year was lost to an unplanned year-long hiatus from Tumblr, but I'm happy to finally be giffing it now. (And also terribly sad to see the show, or at least this chapter, come to a close right after I start giffing it lol.)

[kamariya]

im sorry but all the advice taylor gives in dear reader SLAPS

[assassins-and-hidden-blades]

How do I flirt with someone without making a fool out of myself?

I wish I knew bro; a girl thought I was flirting with her because I wanted to watch horror movies/trailers with her after school (there was a half hour break period before extra-curriculars) when really I just wanted to watch horror but needed (read: wanted) moral support. (Then decided to tell mutuals I was gay, despite never saying anything of the sort? Hell, it was before *I* knew I was bisexual. She tried to get me out of the closet with a fuckin baseball bat lmao)

If that doesn’t tell you the kind of train wreck you’re about to receive , I don’t know what will 😂

Whatever you do, never respond to what they say with an innuendo. (Unless of course, they’re okay with it?? Idk man, dating is a mystery to me. Lemme skip from best friends to marriage, yk?)

Just be you :) personality comes first, flirting will naturally come after (hopefully). Confidence is always key. But also humble urself. Act confident but be humble?? Dude you’re asking for help from a fellow over thinker, this has not gone well /lh /j

Believe in yourself. You got this.

[uncanny-tranny]

I've noticed you mentioned a desire to grow a beard, there is a way to accelerate growth via the use of micro needling (like the rolly lookin' thing) and rogaine (however rogaine is one of those things you can't start and stop).

So like if all else fails, I've heard this works.

I could have sworn I'd answered this ask, but I've thought about that, actually! From my understanding, facial hair takes years to fully manifest (at least naturally), so I'm hopeful still! I tried a brand of Rogaine before, and I'll be honest and say I just stopped because my skin is way too disagreeable for that right now, and it would dry it out so bad (which is the worst sensory hell, I swear).

Call me Shaggy the way I only have chin hairs (for now)

[paradife-loft]

oh god, reminded of how this morning, this one podcast I listen to on my commute bc it's a short daily thing that's often decently entertaining & interesting, came out with an episode topic today that was like "this one dude's advice on hiring creative & talented people who are traditionally overlooked!"

and they got onto job interview questions and these motherfuckers are truly sitting there straight-faced going on very genuinely about how "if you open your browser, what tabs do you have open?" is a good and insightful ~unusual~ job interview question

like. sir. sir excuse me. but (dis)respectfully. if I ever have to hear that again in my life I am going to bite your dick off.