#Why are we like this

[angeliclovebird]

i love how most girlbloggers are super into self care yet simultaneously love destroying themselves

[heartstopperthoughts]

…

…

[the-one-and-only-overlass]

me, talking to my brother about worm: so, there's this character named scapegoat, who can transfer injuries from other people to himself and vice versa-

my brother: could he transfer cancer?

me: sure, i don't see why no-

my brother: what if he took someone's cervical cancer?

me: *stunned*

my brother: wait could he transfer someone's vasectomy to himself? and then to someone else? wait what if he transferred someone's tied fallopian tubes to himself? could he reverse neuter a dog by neutering himself? what if he had his balls cut off and transferred that to someone without balls? negative balls? could he get infinite balls?

me: what the fuck

my brother: no it's a serious question. like what if he lost his hand and transferred that to someone without that hand? would they lose the other hand? would someone's hand dominance matter?

me: ok so my assumption based on how it's described in the story is that the injury would probably just get deleted. gone. no effect.

my brother: wait. what if he transferred someone's hysterectomy to himself?

me: well it would probably just get deleted however there's an incredibly funny possibility that it gets stored in some kind of buffer and he grows a uterus as soon as it's transferred to someone else

my brother: what if he had one ball chopped off and someone else had the same ball chopped off and he transferred that to them?

me: that's just the arm question again

my brother: yeah but it's funnier because it's balls. also there's more of an argument for balls being of equal value to each other because people don't have dominant balls

me: that's assuming the 'injury value' theory holds any weight. and i'm the one who's read worm here, so. no. no it don't.

[beechaotic]

Imagine humans are the only ones with dark humor.

Like, aliens just DONT joke about that shit. And humans just pull up like,, “I’m bouta hit the south tower mfers!”

And then they make a dark joke about Holocaust, and aliens are just HORRIFIED. Just imagine that. It would be funny.

[carrythispictureforluck]

[Reg has horrible period pain and is hiding under a desk in the library]

Remus: What's up with you?

Regulus: Currently wondering if stabbing myself would alleviate this pain

Remus: Probably, but it will cause new pain

Remus: So like

Remus: Win some, lose some *hands over chocolate*

Regulus: Stab me in the abdomen and let me bleed out please

Remus: I've had a bad enough week as it is Reg, let's not add your death to it. Eat the chocolate.

[ijustfakeit]

[victusinveritas]

[lnacin]

WE CANNOT ESCAPE THE TOXIC DOOMED YAOI ALLEGATIONS

[lonely-space-ace]

truly nothing will ever be funnier to me than Doctor Who fans figuring out the Toymaker was coming back like two years in advance. We had one shot of Neil Patrick Harris and some playing cards and went “obviously this is a villain who appeared in a lost episode from 1966 and hasn’t been mentioned in almost sixty years aside from one obscure novel maybe thirty people have read” like we joke about this fandom being a different breed but WOW

[eeveeberry]

Matching SKK with my bestie! @keithbutgay

Bracelets made by @prestonmonterey

[vipower001]

Ao3: goes down for a few hours

Us:

[hooid]

[oknowkiss]

have just discovered the difference between an American frown and a UK/Irish frown thanks to @tackytigerfic and I’m really upset

I’m frowning internationally!!!

[beechaotic]

Okay, but humans have a very faint bioluminescence. We can’t see it, but it’s there. What if other aliens could see it and thought we just KNEW we glowed? It’s a huge evolutionary disadvantage and stuff, so it wouldn’t make sense. So aliens are confused why we glow and humans are confused because “we glow??” For example:

Alien: Human, did you notice that you are glowing much brighter today? It might be a disadvantage if we get attacked later.

Human: I’m sorry, I what? Humans glow in the dark??

Alien:…Yes. I thought you knew this? Every member of your species glows. I’ve also noticed that the stronger the glow, the healthier the human mentally and physically.

Human: Um, hang on, let me just ask the scientist on board. I knew humans were weird, but not like this.

Alien:…You don’t see that you are bioluminescent?

Human 2: Oh yeah, humans do glow like that. Well, it’s too faint for our eyes to see, so most people don’t know.

Alien: HOW.

[garlicbreadish]

no but like in the harry potter fandom, we have the main fandom that actually loves the movies and books normally, then there is the marauders fandom who is making random stuff up from past where every single one is gay, then we have the futuristic fandom where they love the kids of the golden trio..........

[theschizotypalsolilquy]

SOMETHING JS WRONF WITB THIS FANDOM I CANT HELP