#a bit long

[icycoldninja]

I have quite a dirty scenario so if u do mind, feel free to ignore:

It’s mating season and both the boys are quite hot and bothered, but it’s getting gradually worse when they’re around the reader as well ( they’re still in their crushing phase )

So one day, the ladies at DMC informed them that the reader have to take a few days off of work due to being “sick”. At first, they’re kind of worried fir the reader but chose to be respectful of her boundaries thinking she’s a big girl who can take care of herself now…but after a few days of not turning up at the shop, they got worried sick; thinking something must’ve happened to her so they ask one of the girls at the shop to cook them some chicken soup for reader before they head there

When they arrived at her home, they knocked a couple times but was met with silence. Reluctantly, they broke inside her home using a chimney/bathroom window, muttering how horrified she would be to see them in her home. While they’re secretly walking around her home, they heard what is secretly “pained grunts” so they rushed there, abt to charge into her room, thinking she might be injured but a creek to her room told them what they needed to know

The reader rutting against her pillow rather violently trying to get some tension off of her

It took them by surprise, thinking how the hell can you get that violent masturbating yourself when all of a sudden, she particularly triggered a spot that accidentally devil triggers herself

Now they’re ‘not so quietly’ mutter: “Ahh! So you’re a devil like me!”

And that quickly caught her attention, now they have a very awkward stare off with eachother, all hot and bothered:

Reader: *What the hell are you doing here? Did you just trespass?! Do you know I’m masturbating?!! Is that your boner?!!!*

Them: *Oh shit, how do I explain to her I’m not actually trespassing when I’m actually trespassing? Are you masturbating?! Did you just devil trigger mid getting off?!! Did I just pop a boner?!!!

Dante + Vergil x Devil!Reader mating season headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-It was mating season, the time when Dante found it nigh impossible to control his urges.

-He tried so very hard to keep his flustered nature hidden, but whenever he was around you, his long-time crush, this was a feat both risky and very difficult to pull off for extended periods of time.

-He got his relief a few days later when he was informed by the girls that you were taking some sick leave, though he was worried for your health.

-He has Trish whip up some chicken noodle soup, and after packing it in a thermos, he heads over to your house to deliver it, only to be met with no response upon knocking on the door.

-He was now very concerned, and while it was unethical, he decided to break into your home, just to make sure you were alright.

-Then he heard the noises, the sounds of what seemed like pained grunting. His heart going into overdrive, Dante raced up the stairs to your bedroom and flung open the door, only to find you violently rutting against your pillow.

-He was shocked, standing there in awe, watching you pleasure yourself so roughly. It looked like it felt so good.Dante immediately felt heat shoot into his dick once you hit a spot, moaned, and fucking devil triggered.

-Several emotions whirled through Dante's mind, the most prominent of them being his surprise when he discovered that you were a devil just like him! Insane! What made it better was that the creature you'd turned into looked like a freak that he'd love to fuck.

-He was so aroused, he didn't notice he was practically foaming at the mouth as he stood there in the doorway, watching you get off.

-You caught sight of him soon enough and stopped what you were doing to demand what the hell he was doing there, screaming about how he should at least have the decency to leave or to stand there quieter if he must watch.

-You also questioned him as to why he has a raging boner, which didn't shock Dante as much as you expected.

-Since the both of you were in heat, at the same place, at the same time, and had unannounced feelings for each other, Dante decided the best way to bond would be to walk into your room, shut and lock the door, then tear off his clothes and join you on the bed.

-In the heat of the moment, he forgot all about the thermos of soup he brought with him, which now lies on the floor, cold and congealing.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil was quite uncomfortable as it was demon mating season, the one time when his POWER and MOTIVATION could not save him from these debilitating urges.

-Being around you was no help either; his crush, which he had hidden for so long, was somehow amplified by his demonic hormones, making him blush furiously while in your presence.

-When the girls told him you'd taken the day off due to a sudden sickness, perhaps a common cold, Vergil was both relieved and concerned.

-He was relieved because now he didn't have to worry about his feelings getting out of control, but worried about your health.

-Eventually he decided to pay you a visit, taking with him some chicken noodle soup gifted to him by one of the girls, who precisely, he couldn't remember, for he didn't care.

-When he arrived at your house he discovered everything was locked down, like you weren't even home, but that couldn't be possible. You were definitely here, he just knew.

-Not knowing what else to do, he used the Yamato to slice a portal into your living room, thus technically breaking and entering, and instantly picked up the sounds of grunting from your bedroom, possibly even pained grunting.

-Now fearing more for your health, Vergil hurried up the stairs and saw you rutting against your pillow through your open bedrom door.

-His first thought was, "That liar! She wasn't really sick after all, just slacking off and saying she was to take time off from work all so she could masturbate!"

-At that precise moment, you hit a spot that felt amazing and ended up devil triggering, noticing Vergil standing in the doorway mere seconds after.

-You had a very uncomfortable staring contest for a while, before you started screaming at him, demanding to know what he was doing there, how long he'd been watching, why he was watching, and why he had a massive boner.

-He debated answering you for a little while, but eventually decided that since you and he were both apparently of the same species and were both affected by mating season hormones, why not ease each other's troubles right here and now?

-Besides, this way he would have an easier time admitting his crush on you.

[kaiko55]

Hot take: Angela Anaconda has ADHD (coming from someone who's medically diagnosed with it)

Straight to the point. Here's why.

⥤ Hyperactivity: In the episode "Diving Miss Angela", Angela develops a fixation with marine life and rambles continuously in the bus to her friends—repeating the phrase: "and you know what else?". Eventually starting to annoy them with the yapping.

⥤ Distraction: Mrs. Brinks constantly has to remind Angela to pay attention(saying "eyes front" or coming up to her desk). This usually occurs in the middle/end of the voiceovers when she's thinking to herself for the audience to hear.

⥤ Stimming: In the episode "Dirty Work", in the VERY BEGINNING Angela is already shown bouncing up and down in her chair, briefly moving her legs, tapping her desk in excitment about being potentially picked to work at the student store. The rest of the class is pretty nonchalant about it in contrast.

⥤ Absent-mindedness: Angela has frequent daydreams and, of course, her unrealistic revenge fantasies that play an essential part in every episode. As for the daydreams, as seen in the episode "Rat Heroes", she goes to the antigravity chamber and starts daydreaming as she floats around peacefully. These more euphoric sequences may occasionally replace the vengeful ones, as seen in "The Girl with All the Answers".

⥤ Distraction #2: This is part of the previous point but I don't wanna write a wall—Angela is shown to get distracted easily by her thoughts. In the previously mentioned episode, she gets carried away with all her confidence in the class game they're playing, is distracted by it all, and then the daydream scene cues.

⥤ Irritability: (side note - Amazzonkane loves this show because of its normalization of expressing anger) Angela's irritability is the foundation for her revenge fantasies regarding the people she feels resentment towards in each episode. She gets easily wound up by factors such as sardonic remarks from Nanette and such.

Thanks for listening.

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Current read

[ambivalence-and-torpor]

Milo: ☆Now you're interested? Wow..☆

->They chuckle

☆What, can't a guy treat another person to a good time? Make him feel all good, meal and some fun out on the town. I know the stuff that tickles his fancy. Making it exciting. Might crash a club or two along the way... Things will lead where they do.☆

He's staring, eyes wide. It's almost as if he can't believe what he's hearing. All of that sounds an awful lot like a date, and... it's kinda... tearing at him... ?! Wow, ok, did not expect that.

He's... angry? Hurt?!?! What the fuck?! Why was this doing so much to him? What's with this reaction in his own goddamn body?!

TA: ......

TA: I dxn't think I ever asked yxur name... TA: What's yxur name?

[apollos-boyfriend]

i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.

[michameinmicha]

Stumbled upon this random ship (in a fandom im not active in myself) that has like 150 works on ao3 which are all from just two people gifting each other fics about this pairing back and forth and theyve been doing it for 3 years... i think thats true love probably

[buzzrds]

here's my wonderful isopod child, handcrafted in leather

[daeyumi]

I am what you made me 🩸

[sergle]

ALSO IMPORTANT TO NOTE, people dropping mad mad sums of money on gfms and charities and stuff are extremely impressive but that DOES NOT MEAN that putting like $5 towards someone's fund or any good cause is any less valuable, a lot of crowdfunding is about momentum and those single digits add up super fast, you do not need to be Rolling In The Dough to make someone's day!! moving the dial at all is extremely positive!!

[mirrorama]

estimate! and say you currently still work at your first job, just choose how long you’ve been employed. i also understand there might be some nuance as far as maybe like promotions/transfers/etc etc etc, so feel free to explain things in the tags!

[shocotate]

I broke a ramune bottle to get the marble out for my dragon.

[ionomycin]

Maiden of Light

[science-bastard]

y’know what? FUCK you. i’m putting your ass in the control group. *injects you with boring saline instead of the fun and exciting glowing green goo i originally had planned*

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[ambivalence-and-torpor]

etatio, how would you begin to go about change in the caste system?

TC: ya do realize youre asking a dude Wwho Mmight not be the sMmartest tool in the shed... TC: sorry i Mmeant sharpest...

TC: i dont get politics TC: they sound really fuckin stupid to Mme

TC: but i guess i understand that a fuckin coMmplex systeMm needs proper disasseMmbling TC: its like Wwith Mmy Mmotorbike TC: i cant just thoughtlessly rip soMmething out shove soMmething else in and expect it to Wwork flaWwlessly

TC: gotta grab the right tools for the job TC: gotta unscreWw stuff bit by bit TC: do soMme cleaning and give that Mmachine soMme tender care TC: and have a proper replaceMment too

TC: though iMm thinking TC: eMmpathy Wwould probably do a lot of necessary Wwork TC: if all of us had Mmore eMmpathy toWwards each other TC: especially eMmpathy for people that arent in your direct social circles TC: Wwe should all have Mmore eMmpathy for strangers TC: i think a lot of suffering Wwould lessen if Wwe had that...

TC: that bein said... TC: id be doWwn to rip the heads off those unWwilling to change for the better TC: changing soMmething about yourself is in your hands and nobody elses TC: so if yer a piece of crap and you have no Wwillingness to be taught better? TC: iMm feeding you to Mmy Lusus

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.