#a giant and rambly text that never really gets to a point but tries to help me cope with things to big to contemplate

[darlingdaisyfarm]

texting Stan and Ford headcanons

smut version

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Stan Pines

✧ Stan is the kinda guy who thinks emojis are a scam, but somehow, he figured out how to use the "thumbs up" and "money bag" emoji. so, expect a lot of those in your chats.

✧ his text tone is rough, a little misspelled, typed like he's yelling even when he isn’t. Half of his texts are in all caps, and he absolutely does not care about grammar. but he gets the point across, always.

✧ you’re getting messages at 3 am about some ‘brilliant’ scheme to make a quick buck. he’ll send, “LISTEN, doll, what if we made... GIANT… glitter-filled eggs for easter? Tourists'll go NUTS." you reply, half-asleep, with “Stan, ily but go to bed." and all you get back is a “🤬 YOU GOTTA THINK BIGGER!”

✧ Stan sends those weird chain messages he swears are from some “hotshot businessman” that’ll make you rich in a week. and when you don’t respond immediately, you get a: “Fine, Miss Doubtful, see you when I’m rolling in gold.”

✧ there are whole days where he just floods your phone with random, blurry photos of some new Mystery Shack "artifact" he found. It’s usually junk he picked up at a garage sale, like a “haunted” ashtray or some knock-off painting that’s “probably ancient.”

✧ If he’s feeling sappy (and tipsy): you might get a rare “thinking bout you, sweet thing” at 2 am. but if you try to call him on it the next day, he’ll just be like “Didn’t say that. You’re makin’ stuff up.”

✧ when he’s really riled up about something, though? then his messages are just. . . a stream of caps-lock curses, mixed with misspelled attempts to describe whatever nonsense he just got himself into. you just sit back and let him rant; he’ll cool off eventually.

✧ and the voice messages are something else. they sound like he’s talking through a fan half the time. one minute, he’s rambling about how tourists are “the dumbest suckers on the planet” and the next, he’s ranting about how “bigfoot definitely broke into the shack last night!"

types of messages Stan texts: 

"So… whatcha wearin’? 😏"

“Hey doll, I just found a penny on the ground! Maybe today’s my lucky day… hint hint ;)"

"I’d say somethin’ romantic, but I think my brain just shorted out. You’re a little too cute for a guy like me."

"Just tried that new café downtown. Ordered coffee… tastes like they filtered it through someone’s laundry. You’d hate it. Wanna come mock it with me?"

"Not gonna lie, I miss that face of yours. So what’re we doin’ about it, huh?"

“Again missin’ that cute little smile of yours… maybe you could send me a pic to remind me?”

"Wanna help me scam the tourists today? I’ll split the loot with ya… maybe ;)”

"You wouldn’t believe what I caught Ford muttering in his sleep. Man’s like a walking encyclopedia, even when he’s unconscious."

“Got any plans later? Thought maybe we could… y’know… not have plans together."

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Ford Pines 

✧ hehehehe he’s like an old-school emailer who’s just now getting the hang of messaging apps. texts in complete sentences, full punctuation, like he’s drafting a dissertation.

✧ He sends you whole paragraphs at random hours, talking about some discovery he’s made, like he’s reporting directly to NASA. you’re like, “Ford, it's just a weird-looking squirrel." and he's already typing another essay about its "possible interdimensional origins."

✧ once in a while, he’ll send you a message that says, “Are you awake?” at, like 3 am followed by a string of thoughtful yet completely bonkers hypotheses. you find it cute, though, his mind never stops, not even for a second.

✧ If he’s feeling bold, you might even get a “hypothetical” confession out of him: “Hypothetically, if one were to develop... strong emotional attachment to a certain person... how would one proceed?" You tease him about it the next day, and he gets flustered, “It was purely scientific curiosity."

✧ Ford isn’t big on emojis, but he likes the brain and alien ones, using them poetically. he’ll sign off texts with a single brain emoji, like it’s his version of a little goodbye wave.

✧ on really rare occasions, he’ll send a voice message. they’re always way too long, and it’s usually him whispering so he doesn’t wake Stan up. he goes on about cosmic rays or “gravity anomalies,” his voice dropping lower when he gets excited. you live for those moments

✧ and if he ever texts you a “good night,” you just know he’s been up thinking about it for hours, trying to figure out if it’s “appropriate.”

types of messages Ford texts: 

“It’s been approximately 3 hours, 12 minutes, and 23 seconds since our last conversation… not that I’m counting or anything. Just… miss you."

sends a meme about science nerds “Us. But mostly me.”

“My hands ache from writing… though perhaps if it were writing about you, I wouldn’t mind.”

“Do you think about me too, or am I the only one utterly ruined by this… whatever this is?”

“I’ve been thinking about that book you lent me... 🤔 It’s honestly so much more interesting than I expected, thank you for recommending it."

"I don’t know how to work this... But I managed to send a meme! It’s not the worst thing I’ve done, I suppose? 

“I did it. I fixed the telescope. Finally. Now we can actually look at the stars like we’ve talked about. :)"

"I hope you’re feeling okay today. I noticed you seemed a little stressed the other day. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. :) It’s important."

"If I could rearrange the periodic table, I’d put U and I together. :( Sorry, nerdy joke... :’D)”

ps - I CANT THEYRE SO CUTE BOTH I WANT TO SMASH THEM AGAINST THE WALL

lmao if someone wants, i can write some spicy types of chatting with them :)))

[ouroboros-hideout]

WIP WHENEVER

@chevvy-yates tagged me for this. Thank you a lot 💚

This will be a huge wall of text aswell, since I am not really of the „visual“ side of creating atm.

Writing // Worldbuilding

I'm still writing the next two chapters for my fanfiction, but would rather briefly introduce my other OCs here (yes, Aon isn´t the only one by now). Maybe I can create all of them ingame at some point, depending on how stupid I´ll act with modding etc. when I start. Since things can change quickly in the story while I'm writing, I wouldn't say that everything is 100% set in stone, a lot of it isn't finished yet. But it's a good base. Most of them appear in my „Like Napalm“ fic. Some of them will be in my main GARMR fic aswell. So prepare for half backed character data entries and some rambling.

Gan

Gan Tomobataar, or Iron as he is usually called, is a mysterious man. Many stories surround the Mongolian giant and it always depends on who asks him whether he affirms or denies these tales. It is therefore uncertain which of them are true or fictional and he really enjoys keeping his past in the dark. He is said to have served in an elite military unit. The metal teeth that earned him his iconic nickname are said to have been lost in numerous boxing matches as he tried to turn pro to make a better life for himself and his family, and he is allegedly a descendant of Ginghis Khan (which is probably one of his favorite rumors). One can assume that his closest confidants have more clarity, but none of them would dare say a word about it. Undeniably true is that he has two brothers, of whom he is the second-born. Together with them, he leads one of the largest nomadic clans in eastern Europe and Asia. The Tomobataar nomads are divided into three large families, each led by one of the three brothers. Iron's family stays mainly in Mongolia and Russia, but he would also travel to more distant parts of the Soviet Union for profitable contracts. He doesn't have many vices, but one of them is definitely greed.

By sheer luck, at least that's what he claimed, he picked up Aon on the street when she was trying to flee Moscow on her own. He promised to protect her from the Secret Police and other bounty hunters if she proved to be a useful member of his clan. However, his methods for testing her worth would put the young woman to the test.

Yakov

Yakov always had problems finding his place in the world. He grew up in St. Petersburg, studying or an education other than working in his father's car repair shop were never an option financially, but the young man always yearned for something greater than being stuck in the alleys and streets of his childhood. He decided to join the military when he was old enough, but was discharged immediately after basic training for insubordination and general unsuitability. What remained for him was to work in his father's garage until he died after a long illness. Yakov tried to keep the store running on his own for a while, but he found it difficult to do good business without proper management and eventually had to sell the store. This was followed by a relatively dark period. He saw himself as a failure, was unable to find a new job and drank away the money he had received for the workshop in the bars in his neighborhood. One evening, a man came into his local pub. His car had broken down outside, he wouldn't get any further that night and kept him company for a few hours. The next day, Yakov repaired his car for the man called Gan and left the town with him to live with the Tomobataar nomads.

Gregori

Gregori's mother, a singer from New York, came to the Russian capital for a gig and met a military officer there. The two got together and the result was little Greg. Shortly afterwards, however, the couple fell apart and she took her son back to America, where he spent most of his childhood and youth being raised by babysitters and nannies, while the singer preferred to spend her time on tour or in the recording studio. Gregori at least inherited much of her creativity, starting to make music himself at an early age and drawing a lot. Just what small children do when they need to keep themselves busy.

When he was 16 years old, his mother died of an overdose. As she never bothered to write down a testament or anything similar, her entire fortune goes to her greedy manager, who leaves Gregori penniless.

The boy, who has spent his whole life sheltered without much contact with the outside world, is left with nothing and doesn't know exactly what to do. So he scrapes together the last of his money and buys a ticket to Moscow, where he tries to find his father, but in vain. He quickly goes off the rails, barely speaks a word of Russian, is recruited by a gang and gets exploited. An arms deal with a group of nomads goes wrong, a shootout ensues and Gegori is the only one left of the gang because he hides instead of fighting. Yakov, who was on the other side of the deal, takes pity on him and eventually takes him to his new family where he tries to find his place within the group.

Anna

Anna grew up with the Tomobataar nomads from an early age. Her parents were killed in a botched mission when she was just four years old. Iron, who in a way blamed himself for this, took on a guardianship for her and looked after the little girl like the apple of his eye. As the years passed and Anna grew older, the relationship between her and her foster father changed. He became increasingly demanding, punished misbehavior and put the still young girl under pressure. Aon, who had already earned her place in the clan by this time, could not tolerate this behavior as she herself had grown up under similar circumstances. No one else in the clan interfered with Iron's "parenting methods", which is why she ended up doing it. Anna and Aon then became inseparable and she naturally followed her later when they left the clan along with many others.

Anatoly

Anatoly, or Tolik as Aon calls him, belongs to the Russian working class in Moscow and cannot claim to own much. As a boy, he dreamed of studying mechanical engineering in order to open his own workshop or business. A dream that his father would never have been able to afford in this life. So after school, Tolik started working at his father's scrap yard on the outskirts of Moscow, not an easy job. He regularly drives into the city to pick up old components and scrap metal from SovOil and other big corporations, where he meets Alyona one day. The two strike up a conversation, exchange banter and hit it off straight away, which over time develops into a teenage love story. Aon spends a lot of time with him at the scrapyard, where she can test and improve her skills on old machines and has a place to hide from her hated stepfather. He, in return, benefits from the knowledge she brings with her from university, and his dream of building his own big thing soon becomes her dream too. Together they consider leaving the city at some point and make plans for the future

unnamed_chromed_up_terrifying_SovOil_Secret_Police_agent

Yea well, I don't know yet how to call him. After Aon has fled Moscow, the officers of the normal police force give up the search for her, as it theoretically no longer falls within their area of responsibility. However, since Kristof claims that Aon stole the data he wanted to sell to Petrochem, SovOil is naturally very interested in finding her and the data chip. So they send a Secret Police agent after her, who, together with a small unit, tries to track her down. He actually already had a kind of "Easter Egg" appearance in my other AU. He would have been the agent sitting next to Kurt if he hadn't switched the cards on the table. Funny how differently things can go. Anyway, he doesn't really have much of a backstory other than he used to work for the KGB and is a bloodthirsty hound dog who chases Aon halfway across the country (spoiler: and finds her). If I were to compare him to another character from movies etc, he would probably have the closest vibe to Hans Landa from Inglourious Basterds. The character was very well written, even though I would probably make my namesless_pig a bit younger than him. But since he'll be pumped full of cyberware anyway, it probably doesn't matter much in the end. It's just supposed to be a fucking horrible character and Aon's nightmare.

Robert Walker

Robert is one of the key-characters in my main fanfiction. I haven't thought about him in depth yet, but the general concept is there. He's a British journalist and photographer who wanted to go high by exposing wrongdoings in society. For him, there is nothing more exciting than achieving "fame and notoriety" as a whistleblower. He's not necessarily stupid or doesn't know what he's doing, he's just unlucky. He gets into trouble with the wrong people and upsets the even worse ones, which is why he has to flee the UK and ends up in NC. There he tries to start over and stay out of trouble. However, he soon develops an "unhealthy" obsession with Kurt Hansen. He is incredibly fascinated by him and spends every free minute in Dogtown so that he can perhaps take a photo (or two, or ten) of his idol. At some point, he goes so far as to seek direct contact and wants to interview him. Kurt is flattered at first, but has little desire to reveal information about himself in some strange blog or gossip magazine. But that didn't stop Robert from continuing to stalk him and even trying to become a member of Barghest. At some point, Hansen got too pissed off and gave him the choice of leaving Dogtown or catching a bullet. Robbie chose the second option. After all, he hadn't forbid him to camp outside the gates of Dogtown, had he?

Technically I could tell something about Aon´s mom and her stepfather too, but I don´t have that much yet. So will keep em for the next WIP together with the other OCs for my main fic. There will be three more. A general, a corpo guy and the last is still up for discussion with my brain. Considering somekind of warlord or a netrunner.

Art

I tried to do something different than a full rendered piece of artwork. I am not yet confinced that I like it. I like, that it was finished really fast lmao but...I dunno.

Aon and Tolik - 2055

But happy that Aon is actually recognizable in the end. During the process she looked so much like So Mi at a point that my brain went: WHO ARE YOU GIRL. But I like the long hair. Will give it back to her in her 2078+ appearance. Not exactly like this, but longer than her normal style.

Not quite sure about Anatoly tho. I mean, he looks like this in my head, but I will reconsidere if he will get some cyberarms. He is poor like a mouse, so probably can´t afford expensive tech like this, but he feels kind of „empty“ without anything.

Congrats and huge thanks if you read this far. Brainrot stronk!

Tagging some ppl aswell. Everyone else is invited too to show off some awesome stuff ofc, no pressure as always!

@blackrevell @olath124 @cyberholic77 @cybervesna @pinkyjulien @theviridianbunny @therealnightcity @wanderingaldecaldo @miss--river @barghestapologist @kdval @streetkid-named-desire @aggravateddurian @androgymess

[chocolatecakecas]

Yeah, Should Have Seen That Coming: Saileen Bachelor Party Ficlet

Congrats to the soon to be Mrs. and Mr. Leahy💚💍!!!

Sam had the brilliant idea to have their bachelorette/bachelor parties on the same night. Two separate parties, at least a week before the wedding to avoid any last minute mishaps (learning from the mistakes of Dean and Cas' party last month). They had thought of everything, Sam even remembered to invite Adam this time. They were each going to have a perfect party with no unforseen issues, because they both deserved a night of fun.

Dean was granted the privilege of being Eileen's best man maid of honor, so he shut down his bar that night, and threw her an absolute rager. He even dragged the stripper pole back out at Eileen's request (though Dean thinks it was a shame Cas wasn't going to be there to use it) and set up a mechanical bull. So of course Cas was chosen to be Sam's best man, and for his party, Sam just wanted a normal, quiet night. Just board games, beer and burgers at the bunker (Crowley was pissed he got stuck at Sam's instead of Eileen's, but Garth was thrilled about the prospect of playing Monopoly). So that's exactly what Cas planned to give him. He makes sure he's got Sam's favorite beer, burgers from the place that makes his favorite vegan burgers, he's taken care of everything. And all Sam has to do is grab the board games from one of the storage rooms.

What could possibly go wrong?

Well, considering Sam and Cas are involved? 

Everything.

(read the rest under the cut)

They ended up on a hunt before the party even began. Sam had accidentally bumped into a shelf in the storage room, knocking over a cursed object, and then picked it up without thinking("Sam why did y- "It just looked like a piece of wood!" "It's not, its cursed it's called t-" "Well that doesn't help me now, Cas!"). And so it turned out, they unleashed an ancient curse that if they didn't break by midnight, the world would be "shroud in 5 billion years of darkness". But Sam won't let anyone call Eileen or Dean ("I just don't want to ruin her party!" "Sam the world could en-" "Yeah, but that happens all the time. How often do you get to have a bachelorette party?")

So it was up to Sam, Cas, Jack, Crowley, Garth, and Adam (Kevin was already halfway up the steps and on his way to Dean's bar before Sam even finished explaining what happened).

And a lot can go wrong over a few hours, especially if the threat of the end of world is looming over you.

In the past three hours, they managed to successfully tear apart the entire archives looking for lore, had Jack fly them to three different states to wake up three experts on the subject, fought and killed one of Crowley's old nemesis who had an ingredient they needed for a spell, were briefly transported to a different dimension, twice (Jack was able to get them home, but they had to go back because Garth forgot his phone). Then of course they summoned the wrong ancient god, then had to figure out how to kill them, before they eventually summoned the right one needed to break the curse.

At that point, after some encouragement (yelling) from everyone, Sam finally gave in and tried to facetime and text Eileen, finally allowing Cas to call Dean too.

But neither of them answered because Eileen was currently in the middle of an intense drinking contest between Rowena, Mary and Kevin (who arrived 2 hours ago and mentioned nothing about the curse), while Dean (totally sober mind you) learned he was amazing on the stripper pole, as Charlie, Kaia and Claire cheered him on, and Jo along with some of Eileen's hunter friends were trying out the mechanical bull.

So they were on their own, and quickly running out of time.

But unfortunately for them, the three hours of chaos was a complete waste, since they discovered a bit too late that lore was wrong. Because the weapon that was supposed to kill the God was clearly not working since it seemed to be chasing them around just fine, with a giant stake in it's neck. So they hurriedly decided splitting up would be the best course of action, and they scattered in all directions as they ran into the woods(where they had landed when Jack zapped them back) trying to confuse the God. 

Which had been a complete mistake ("It can clone itself!" "Yes, thank you Sam, I hadn't noticed").

And currently, Crowley and Garth were both knocked out by some of the God's clones, and Jack was nowhere to be seen, leaving just Sam and Cas to fight with what they had (2 guns, an angel blade, and half a flask of holy water, so nothing)

Now there was only five minutes until midnight and the God had them surrounded, as it threw their useless guns and blades halfway across the forrest.

And only one thought rang through Sam's mind.

"Eileen is gonna kill me if the world ends before the wedding"

"Well if you hadn't touched th-"Cas started

"Thanks Cas, you really know how to make a guy feel better" Sam yelled back, swiflty cutting him off.

He glanced back up to see the God (who's name Sam had already forgotten) inching closer, holding them in place as they were readying themselves to smite them.

Sam took one last look at Cas and the reality of the situation finally set in. This was it.

All Sam wanted was one normal night, but now the world's ending again and he doesn't even know the name of the God ending it.

They were screwed. Now he'll never see Eileen again and they'll nev-

Suddenly a wooden stake was shoved through the back of the God's neck with a crunch, sending them crumbling to the ground. It burst into black flames, disappearing.

And standing above them in a, 6 inch heels, covered in glow stick bracelets, and a bride sash, was a very tipsy Eileen.

She and Dean helped pull them to their feet, and Sam could cry at the sight of her (and he did).

As soon as he was standing, Sam frantically began rambling and signing trying to explain and apologize all in one breath. But Eileen simply took hold of his hands, stopping him in his tracks.

"You were supposed to use sheep's blood, idiot" Eileen signed with a smirk.

Then she grabbed by the shoulders, yanking him down into a deep kiss.

"Wait how did-where did yo-"Sam started as he broke away. He quickly takes in his surroundings spotting Claire and Kaia helping Garth to his feet, Rowena trying to wake Crowley, and Charlie and Jo who are probably trying to convince Adam not to leave. He finds Dean, Cas and Jack off to the side huddled close together, while Dean probably tells his husband how much of a dumbass he is.

"Jack flew to the bar, and we read through your's and Cas' texts. We were able to piece it together from there, and apparently you guys can't read. Maybe leave the hunting to the pros?" Eileen teased, swaying slightly (okay maybe she was a little more than tipsy). Sam tightly wrapped his arms around her, keeping her steady, as a smile grew on his face.

"I don't deserve you" Sam sighs, cupping her cheek.

"Yeah, you don't" Eileen shrugged with a smirk growing on her lips.

"She's right, you really don't" Dean's voice cuts through as he, Cas and Jack make their way over. Cas punches him in the arm with a fond smile.

"Well, that certainly didn't go as I had planned" Cas huffed.

"Yeah, understatement of the year buddy. But when does it ever?" Sam laughs, feeling a bit of relief.

Then Sam has another brilliant idea, smiling as he turns back to Eileen.

"So my party....was ruined by an ancient God. Mind if we crash your's?"

And an hour later, Cas (much to Dean's delight) is now spinning around on the pole while Dean, Charlie and Jo cheers him on. Crowley, Rowena, Garth and Jack (with a shirley temple of course) are seated at the bar, talking about god knows what. Claire, Kaia, Kevin and surprisingly Adam have just returned from the parking lot, giggling a bit too much. And Sam is now seven shots in, messily making out with Eileen in one of the booths. Eventually they pull away, just sitting in a drunken daze as they stare at each other.

God he can't believe she's gonna marry him. He really is the luckiest man in the world.

And before Sam can relay this sentiment, Eileen downs her glass, signs "watch this", and runs to take a turn on the stripper pole to the thrumming bass.

With a laugh he surveys the bar, watching his family drink and laugh without a care in the world. He spots Eileen and Dean by the pole in the center of the room, heads thrown back in laughter, as Cas and Jack cheers them on. So Sam quickly slides out of the booth and makes his way over, plopping down inbetween Jack and Cas, watching his fiancé and brother dance to the beat like idiots. Heart swelling at the sight of his family.

And yeah maybe this isn't the night they had planned, but it was certainly a night they'd never forget.

(Especially since Cas had shirts made that said, "I survived Sam Winchester's bachelor party")

Tag list:

(Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed!!!💛)

@wormstacheangel @smiledean @shelikestv @chaoticdean @midnightwings-deancas @jellydeans @sunshine-jack @archervale @wikiangela @organicpurplepants @writtendevastation @tkdwolf2012 @doemons-blog

@rolling-stoned-girl @skylerkernaghan @shadowywerewolfqueen @the-cookie-navy @thelahatiel @thefantasyfiend @castielle-deanna @aestheticflyer26 @multi-fandom-imagine @x-mypeopleskillsarerusty-x @wellofwoes @becky-srs

@multi-fandom-dark-lord @perfectkoaladream @castiel-for-lunch @it--hurts--to--become @bowtiesandneckerchiefs @dakiaty @feraldean @teamfreebees @keshetcas @hrh-princess-bea @martymar1963 @midnight-sparks-studio @slipper007 @rainbowsam @winchester-novak

[tulsa-trash]

Book Swap

Request: could you do a modern!pony x reader imagine where you're both in 9th grade and meet at the library, and one day you finally have the guts to ask for his number, so you guys start texting and then you start crushing on him and then you have to figure out how to tell him, so u ask two-bit and johnny for advice

WARNING(S): N/A

You sighed deeply as you began to reread the same sentence in your book for what felt like the twentieth time. It seemed as though you were reading but not even comprehending the words. To be fair, it was impossible to get lost in a book when a familiar cute boy was sitting a table over from you.

Ponyboy Curtis. How does one even begin to describe the amazing human you had the honor of being within five feet of? Unlike most guys in high school, Pony was something special. He was kind and very smart, you knew this because you have English with him. You've never seen someone so into a class before, he also appeared to have an interest in literature, like you. The both of you were nothing but mere acquaintances, and you secretly wished you could change that.

It didn't help that you found him absolutely dreamy. His brown hair was always a little messy, but it still managed to make him even cuter. You always feel your heart skip a beat whenever your eyes would meet his sparkling green ones in the hallways. You'd smile whenever you'd see him laughing with his friends, it showed off his dimples that sunk into his cheeks. Ponyboy Curtis was the boy of your dreams, and the young man was completely oblivious.

Your phone vibrated on the desk you were sitting at. Glancing up from your book, you seen that it was a text from one of your friends. After placing your bookmark in between the pages you unlocked your phone.

Evie: So? Did you talk to him yet?

You rolled your eyes after reading the message, your fingers quickly tapped at the screen as you typed your response.

Y/N: No obviously not. Now leave me alone.

Kathy: Girl go for it! He's a nice kid you said so yourself.

Y/N: Uh nope. Much rather stare at him from afar and not make a fool of myself attempting to talk to him.

Kathy: Well if you don't not only will I embarrass you in front of lover boy, everyone in this library will see me screaming at you and we'll both probably get kicked out.

Y/N: Wait what? How do you know I'm at the library?? Are you here right now???

Kathy: Look over at the fantasy section you nerd. You being you I obviously knew where YOU would be on a Saturday afternoon.

You looked up, eyes widening in shock as you saw your friend hiding behind a bookshelf watching you with a sly grin.

Kathy: Make a move now or I'm coming over there.

With already shaking hands you put your phone in your pocket and grabbed your book. You sent Kathy a pleading look, but all she did was shake her head and point towards Ponyboy violently. Taking in a deep breath, you got up. The chair scraped against the floor, creating a loud noise which made at least five people look up at you... including him.

"Oh god." You mumbled under your breath.

In your peripheral vision you could see Ponyboy's gaze return to his book, taking that as your cue to move you slowly crept to his table. You had made it to the chair directly across from him, he was so caught up in his book he didn't even notice your presence. You smiled softly, his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration while his eyes scanned the pages back and forth. You awkwardly cleared your throat, not too loud to disturb others but just enough for him to tear his attention from his book to notice you.

"Oh, hey." Ponyboy said, "Can I help you with somethin'?"

"Um..." Jesus this was going to be way harder than you thought. "W-Would you mind if I sat with ya?"

"Not at all. Go ahead." He sent you a friendly smile as he gestured to the chair you were at.

His smile. Your legs already feel like jello, you could've sworn you were going to collapse right then in there.

"Y/N, right?" He asked as you sat down.

"That's me. And you're Ponyboy."

"Yep, couldn't forget a name like that if you tried." He joked.

You giggled as you opened your book, Ponyboy returned to his. Curiosity got the better of you when you looked back up to see what he was reading.

"Gone With the Wind." You read aloud.

"Have you read it before?" He asked.

You shook your head, "I haven't, but I've heard only good things about it. I saw the movie about a year ago and thought it was great."

"The book is amazing!" He gushed, only to be shushed by the librarian walking by. "This is my fifth time reading it." He told you in a more hushed tone.

You snickered, "Must be really great."

"What ya got there?"

You lifted up your book from the table to reveal the cover to him, his bright eyes scanned the cover.

"The Boy in Striped Pajamas?"

"I know the title seems a bit odd, but trust me this is a good read." You told him, "This being my third time reading it."

"Well what's it about?" He asked.

You went on to tell him about your book, and he went on to tell you all about his. The both of you began to talk about anything and everything, you were beyond happy that things were going well. You were having so much fun you completely forgot about Kathy spying on you, before either of you could realize it two hours had gone by.

You peaked at your phone and cursed under your breath, the lock screen had a reminder that your shift at work was starting in less than thirty minutes.

"I really hate to end this... but I gotta go." You said.

"That sucks." He said disappointedly.

You couldn't help feeling a little giddy inside to see that he was upset you were leaving. While you got up and gathered your things, you remembered that you wanted to get his phone number badly. You just had to figure out a way to get it without making things awkward.

"Hey, Pone?"

He hummed in response.

"What do ya say we swap books... and numbers? Thats only if you want to. I just figured since we read them already and it was cool talk--"

"I'd like that." He stopped your rambling, only to send you a warm smile while doing so.

You blushed as the both of you swapped phones to put in each others information along with handing each other your books. With a final wave goodbye you left the library, your best friend of course followed after you. She interrogated you with thousands of questions and the both of you walked to work, you gladly answered them all in an almost dazed state. You felt as if you were walking on air for the rest of the day, and you couldn't wait to text him later on.

-

Two weeks had gone by, and let's just say those two weeks have been the best ones of your life. You and Ponyboy had been texting every single day. At first you just talked about each other's books, but then your conversations started evolve to anything and everything. You knew you had liked him before, but your feelings for him have grown drastically. It was beginning to get unbearable holding in how you truly felt, and you weren't sure if you wanted to tell him.

The fear of rejection was one of the main reasons why you've been thinking of just repressing your feelings. Sure, he seemed to like you, but it felt as though he only liked you simply as a friend. Another reason being you were afraid that it would ruin things between the both of you. You had finally become good friends, the last thing you wanted was for everything to end up being awkward all because of you and your silly crush.

After a lot of thinking you decided you needed some advice, and by advice you mean advice thats not only from Kathy. She keeps telling you to go for it, but she doesn't really know Ponyboy well. That's why you got the idea to ask one of his buddies on their opinion. Luckily Pony invited you to watch him and his friends play football. You ceased the opportunity, not only would you be able to watch the boy of your dreams get all sweaty and tuff looking, you could also get one of his friends alone to talk about how you felt.

It was a warm, Sunday morning in Tulsa. The sun was high in the sky and beat down harshly on the group of boys tackling each other in the giant field. You sat under a tree with a notebook in your lap, a cool breeze would rush by every now and then, cooling you off the slightest. You doodled randomness on the blank pages, sketching pictures and honing your writing skills. Every now and then you would glance up and watch the game for a few, sometimes cheering the boys on or laughing when they began to goof off and wrestle each other on the ground.

There was a particular drawing you found yourself enthralled in, as the pencil in your hand smoothly ran across the paper you found yourself sketching a picture of Ponyboy's face. You were so focused you didn't even notice someone come over and take a seat right beside you.

"Nice drawin' you got there." A quiet voice spoke.

You quickly slammed the notebook closed and snapped you head to the right, it was Ponyboy's best friend, Johnny. A tiny smirk was tugging at his lips as he looked at you with one eyebrow raised.

"T-Thanks." You stuttered nervously.

"You like him, huh?" He asked you.

You stood silent as you played with the grass below you, pulling it from the Earth and rubbing it between your fingers. Your gaze was straight ahead watching the game, you were afraid to meet Johnny's gaze that was burning holes into the side of your head.

"Yes..." You hesitated a bit, "I do."

"Does he know?"

"No!" You said hopelessly, "And I'm not sure if I even want him to know."

"Why not?"

"Because he probably doesn't feel the same..." You trailed off.

"Hey now, ya never know." Johnny said.

"What are you two kiddies doin' over here?" A loud voice bellowed.

It was none other than Two-Bit, he staggered over to the both of you before plopping down to your left. He was breathing heavily, sweat dripping down his forehead and trickling down his neck.

"You tryin' to make moves on Pony's girl or somethin', John?" Two asked playfully.

Your heart fluttered, 'Pony's girl.'

"No way, man. Trust me." Johnny chuckled.

"Pony's girl?" You repeated to him questioningly.

"Oh yeah! I see the way y'all look at each other I ain't blind."

You let Two's words sink in, was it that obvious that you liked him? He even said that Pony looks at you a certain way as well. Maybe there was a chance he shared your feelings after all.

"You think he likes me or somethin'?" You asked casually.

"Oh I don't think, I know."

You smiled softly, butterflies erupting in your stomach. In the back of your mind you worried that you were getting your hopes up a little too high, but you couldn't help it.

"I like him too." You admitted.

Two-Bit scoffed, "Tell me somethin' I don't know."

"Well... what should I do?"

"Tell him." Two replied.

"I agree." Johnny piped up.

Both nerves and excitement began to bubble up inside you as you got up and gathered your things.

"Where are you off to?" Johnny asked as you began to jog away from them.

"Gotta head home. Tell Ponyboy I'm sorry I had to leave but I'll text him later!"

"See ya later lover girl!" Two-Bit hollered after you while preceding to make kissing noises.

You laughed to yourself and shook your head, "Idiot."

-

Y/N: Whats up Pone-bone?

Ponyboy: Nothing much lil lady, and yourself?

Y/N: Same. Btw sorry for leaving so soon today, had some things to do.

Ponyboy: It's alright.

Hey what were you, Johnny and Two talking about? They didn't try to tease you or nothin right?

Y/N: Nooo ofc not they were just chattin

But thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about...

Ponyboy: Well... Go on then

Y/N: Okay I'm just gonna say it

I like you

like a lot

Ponyboy: As a friend or?

Y/N: No silly, like more than friends...

Ponyboy: Wait actually?

Y/N: Yes Pony

Ponyboy: Seriously??

Y/N: OMG YES!!

I LIKE YOU A LOT!

... im sorry if it weirds you out

Ponyboy: NO! NO IT DOESN'T.

SORRY

... Just wanted to make sure this isn't a prank or whatever.

But in all seriousness yes, I like you a whole lot.

Y/N: Are you sure?

Ponyboy: Positive doll

Do you wanna grab some milkshakes at the Dingo next weekend?

Y/N: Are you asking me out onna date Curtis?

Ponyboy: Yes, I am ;)

Y/N: Well I would love to :)

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Ch. 27: Princess (Royal/medieval AU)

AO3

Prev

The shrill akuma alarm wakes Marinette up the next morning and she sighs, rubbing her head gently before grabbing the bottle of painkillers that Dick had left next to her on the table.

“Don’t leave yet!” A voice calls from the other room. Marinette frowns, but listens, quickly taking a couple painkillers and letting herself wake up. Dick rushes into the room, nearly falling as he slides across the floor in his socks. He rushes over to her and kneels in front of her, staring into her eyes. She frowns.

“What are you doing?” She asks, too tired to try and comprehend what’s wrong with her brother right now.

“Checking your eyes and seeing how bad your concussion is so I know if I need to call Adrien to keep a closer eye on you for this fight.” Dick says, frowning slightly at something he sees. He reaches out and gently pushes a spot on her head and she hisses in pain.

“Hey, ya big jerk, that hurts!” She complains, giving him her best ‘Damian’ glare. He just rolls his eyes.

“This is serious kid, you got seriously injured last night.” Dick reminds her. She purses her lips.

“I know, and I promise I’ll take it easy later, but right now I really need to go.” She pleads. Dick sighs, but nods, standing up.

“Go kick some butterfly butt.” He says with a small grin. Marinette grins back at him, quickly calling her transformations and portaling away to Paris. She blinks in the bright sunlight, trying hard to push away any disorientation she has from the stupid concussion. I can do this, she thinks, glancing around to assess the situation. She frowns at her surroundings. She knew she was technically in Paris, she could see the Eiffel tower and Kaalki never misled her before. Well, not during an attack anyway. But where the giant modern buildings should be, there were small stone buildings with thatch roofs. Glancing around, she also notices a huge, stone castle where her school used to be. That should be fun.

“I am the Dark Knight, and I will not rest until I have Chat Noir and Ladybug’s Miraculous!” A voice shouts out above the rest of the noise. Marinette creeps over and just blinks at the fashion atrocity before her. She was going to slap Hawkmoth twice when she found him. Once, for terrorizing Paris for over a year. And again for the awful wardrobe choices he made. Seriously. And the Dark Knight? Isn’t that name trademarked, or something?

“Hey Bugaboo, what’s the plan?” Chat asks, landing beside her and leaning on his baton. She frowns.

“I don’t actually have one yet. I just got here.” She says, and this time he’s the one confused.

“But you always rush over.” He says, careful not to include anything about Kaalki. You never know who might be listening.

“I’ll explain later. Any idea where the object might be?” She asks, scanning the akuma. It’s power didn’t seem too awful. It had changed most of the structure in Paris, and now it was changing people’s clothes too when they got hit by the orange light. Some citizens were in what Marinette could only assume was the height of fashion during the Renaissance, whereas some citizens were draped in obvious “peasant” outfits. But there didn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason for the difference. Just a difference.

“The satchel looks promising.” Chat says, and Marinette grins, a plan slowly taking hold in her mind. She’d just need two paper clips, a stick of gum and whatever her lucky charm was.

---

“Pound it.” Chat says holding out a fist. Marinette grins, returning the fist bump. “Did you have time to talk? You know, about why you were late?” Chat asks, and Marinette sighs but nods. They both recharge in an alley before swinging to sit on the top of the Eiffel tower.

“I fought an akuma alone, while you were out of town.” She says first, shrugging lightly. “I didn’t think about it, honest. I’d done it a million times before with Monsieur Pigeon. But the Bat got mad.” Marinette says, not wanting to risk calling him her dad while she’s masked in Paris. It just felt like it was asking for trouble.

“Cause you fought alone?” Chat asks, frowning.

“Well, that and I sort of jammed the Zeta tubes so that outsiders can’t come to Paris during an active akuma attack.” She mumbles under her breath, wincing at the noise Chat’s neck makes when he jerks around to stare at her dumbfoundedly.

“That’s insane. How’d you do it?” He asks and she simply grins.

“Spent enough time with Pegasus and Red Robin and Oracle. Add in a tiny bit of luck and boom. I win.” She smirks

“So you were late cause you’re grounded.” Chat says simply, a proud smile on his face as he thinks he cracked the code. Solved the mystery.

“Not quite,” Marinette says with a slight frown.

“Then what?” Chat asks. Marinette lets out a long sigh, glaring at Adrien to let him know she’s not happy about this situation, she does not want to talk to him about this. He’ll just get all worried.

“Well last night I was still benched from patrol because of the whole akuma attack thing but Tikki thought I should be ungrounded so I went out anyway and then the dude that stabbed me a couple months ago found me and the rest of the Batclan didn’t know that I was out so they couldn’t help me and I was all alone and then he knocked me out and I don’t really remember much except I woke up at Nightwing’s apartment and met Starfire and yeah that’s it.” She rambles, shooting him a smile and waving nonchalantly.

“I’m going to wrap you in bubble wrap. No, I’m going to make the Batclan do it.” Chat finally says, pulling out his baton.

“No, don’t! Batman doesn’t know. Neither does Hood or Red Robin. Only Nightwing and Robin know.” She says, swatting the baton out of his hand. The last thing she needed was for him to accidentally call her dad on her. She’d be in so much trouble.

“Geeze Bug.” Chat mutters under his breath, tugging her into a hug. She sighs and hugs him back, taking just a moment to relish being with her friend.

“I’m pretty sure Batman is narrowing down his Hawkmoth suspect list.” She mumbles, and Chat pulls back from her, staring into her face.

“Are you serious?” He asks, the relief on his face clear. Marinette nods, and Chat lets out a long sigh. One that Marinette could feel in her bones, because she was tired too. She also wanted to end this fight. Hopefully her dad would have a suspect soon.

---

Bruce Wayne was the world’s greatest detective. He had solved cases infinitely larger than this one, so he didn’t understand why he couldn’t find a damn lead on Hawkmoth. Actually, he understood perfectly. It was magic. God he hates magic. It’s unpredictable, and most of the time it’s more trouble than it’s worth. He sighs and sends a quick text to Dick, double checking that Marinette had made it back to his apartment okay. He knew his daughter was...upset with him for benching her and demanding she take someone with her to Paris. But they were all precautions, just to guarantee that nothing worse happened to her. She wasn’t invincible, no matter how much she seemed to think she was. He frowns at the text he receives back, quickly hitting call and waiting a few moments for Dick to pick up.

“Hel-”

“What do you mean she’s not at your place?” Bruce asks, not giving his eldest son a chance to talk.

“Well hi to you too, B.” Dick teases, and Bruce just knows he’s grinning. He lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Is she really not there? The akuma attack ended nearly twenty minutes ago and she’s not here either.” Bruce says, trying to think of where else she would go. Jason was even at the Manor, and hadn’t heard from her either.

“No, B, she’s not-” Dick pauses, then lets out a long sigh. “It’s B. He was wondering where you were.” He hears Dick say, and Bruce is surprised to hear his son’s tone. It was less carefree and more...like a father. He was a father, with Mar’i, but it was still odd to hear him use the tone on someone besides his granddaughter.

“I had to talk to Adrien.” He can barely hear her say and Bruce lets out a frustrated huff. Of course she was with the Agreste boy again. Honestly, he seemed nice enough until Selina pointed out the crushes that the two had on each other. Now, Bruce wanted nothing more than to lock him away. Far away.

“Can you please ask her if she’s coming home tonight?” Bruce finally says, listening to the silence on the other end. He wonders if they’d put the phone on mute or if Marinette was signing furiously the way he’d seen her do over a video call with Cass earlier in the week.

“We’re all coming. See you at dinner.” Dick says, hanging up almost fast enough for Bruce to not hear the protest from Marinette. Almost. Bruce walks to find Alfred, trying not to let the fact that his daughter doesn’t want to see him again get to him.

---

Marinette glares at her oldest brother as they walk into the manor. He just grins, acting as if he hadn’t practically forced her home. It’s not that she didn’t want to come home, but she knew she had a couple bruises and a lump on her head. She also knew that Damian was apparently barely holding himself back from hunting down Slade. She really didn’t need Tikki giving him any ideas.

“Welcome home, Miss Marinette. Would you like me to look at your injuries?” Alfred asks immediately walking towards her as he walks into the room. Marinette glances around, hoping her dad isn’t around before sighing.

“No thank you Alfred, I’m fine.” She reassures him, or she tries to. His face doesn’t look like he believes her.

“Yes, I’m certain a concussion is nothing to worry about. Especially since you’ve had so many.” He drawls, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Hey, whoa. You said this was your first concussion.” Dick says after urging Mar’i to fly off and find Jason or Damian or Tim. Marinette huffs.

“It is.” She says, crossing her arms.

“The concussions you sustain in the suit still count. Head injuries are not an exact science. Nor are they an exact magic cure, either. They often heal at an accelerated speed, but can still have long-lasting effects.” Alfred says and Marinette blinks. That was almost- Almost- information about the Miraculous. And only someone who knew about the Miraculous would know about the whole head injury thing. She blinks at him for a moment, running possibilities through her head. She sighs, realizing that if Alfred had been a holder, it was definitely for a Miraculous she didn’t have. She could just...feel it.

“I promise I’m fine, and if I start feeling any of those other concussion symptoms, I’ll come to you.” Marinette promises.

“And how did you get a concussion?” Her dad asks, practically materializing out of nowhere.

“Akuma attack. Miraculous cure can’t do a complete heal with concussions, it’s too, uh, dangerous. Not exact.” Marinette lies, trying hard not to do any of her tells. She doesn’t tense up, she doesn’t grin, she doesn’t look at someone else and giggle, nothing. She lies with a straight face, which honestly almost scares her more than getting yelled at by her dad. He just hums before nodding at her.

“Will you be staying here tonight? Most of us have patrol, but afterwards Tim suggested that we all watch a movie together.” Her dad says and Marinette tries hard to suppress her grin. There’s no way.

“Wow Tim, you really wanna have a full-family movie night?” She calls out, grinning at the surprised look on her brother’s face. Because of course her dad was the one to set it up, but of course he didn’t want anyone to know. “I think that’s super cool Tim. As long as we can watch some Disney princess movies.” She adds, laughing as Mar’i comes flying around the corner with wide eyes.

“Did someone say princess?” She squeals, flying straight into Marinette’s arms. Marinette grins at her niece and nods.

“Oh yes. Timmy has decided we’re gonna watch Disney princess movies as a family all night long!” She says, laughing as her niece cheers. She glances at her Dad and tries hard to hold back the snort that wants to come out at his exasperated look. Looks like it’s gonna be a Disney night for the Wayne household.

Next

Tag list:  @maribat-bdbwm @vixen-uchiha @stainedglassm @liquid-luck-00 @laurcad123 @waiting247 @jayjayspixiepop @mizzy-pop @jjmjjktth @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @toodaloo-kangaroo @ritacrow-blog @deathssilentapproach-blog @kittenmywaythrulife @nerd-nowandforever @tazanna-blythe @jaybird-and-co @jumpingjoy82 @lady-bee-fechin @corporeal-terrestrial

[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

We Met Within This Screen [chapt. 6]

[Donnie x reader]

sfw, chapter 5 here

Come on, save it, save it, Donnie chanted to himself later that night, at home and tucked away in his room trying to figure out how to neutralize the situation. He paced along his bed back and forth, phone in hand as he wracked his brain thinking about how he'd get her to let it go. He could tell her that she was...overtired? Go the stereotypical route and say it was just her eyes playing tricks on her? Try to play it off as human teenagers messing around on the roof?

She'd gone to bed already. He hated that he couldn't pursue the subject until morning, her morning, but by then, he'd be tired. When she woke, he slept. But he needed to get it resolved as quickly as possible, so he reckoned it was time to pull an all nighter. Luckily, that wasn't anything he wasn't used to.

He figured he'd get the preliminaries out of the way so he could get right to it when she eventually texted back.

"Good morning

I know you're not awake yet but I figured I'd get an early start today.

I want to know, what exactly did you see last night?"

He shut his phone off and set it down on the bed, fingers rubbing his temples. Depending on her answer, this would either be difficult, or near impossible.

The rest of his time was spent just waiting around for her to finally wake up, dodging all his brothers and trying to occupy himself with something. He was fiddling with the radio he kept on the floor next to his bed when his phone notified him of a message. Turning the volume up, some old-school rock played softly. He didn't always keep music on when he worked, which was what he was doing felt like, but something needed to fill the silence. It also made it feel more casual to have the radio on, for both himself and for whoever might stop by his room.

"Good morning to you too

That was...sudden??"

How nice it was to read those words coming from someone who wasn't his family. Not that they said it like that often anyway, but the small gesture hit differently.

"I'm just really curious about what you said you saw."

Curious? Not quite. More like dying to know, and not because he fancied himself some cryptid hunting.

"That's fair I guess

But don't laugh, ok?"

"I'd never, [y/n]"

"Well

Okay

They were big

But no like not the overweight kinf, not even just 'tall guy' kind of big

kind*

You know?"

Yeah, I aware. I'm 6'8" and have a giant shell on my back.

"They?"

He was hoping she'd only seen one of them. Maybe it would have been easier, but, of course, that wasn't the case.

"I think there were two

Idk it just looked really weird, it was dark but the silhouette from the light made them look bulky, I don't know what it was"

Lips pursed tight, he looked up from his phone, and all of a sudden that music in the background was suffocating. He quickly reached over and shut it off. He needed to be able to divert all of his attention to one thing. Except, even though he should have been spazzing over her spotting them (even if just for a split second), a concern crept up in the back of his mind that made him scoff at himself. The need to know was too great.

His eyes fell on his scaled, three-fingered hand as he typed.

"Did it scare you?"

Perhaps it wasn't what he should have been focusing on. But he was. He knew she hadn't seen much, but what if she quipped that it was frightening, or gross, or…?

"I don't know, Bo

I guess it was kind of freaky

Uh, do you actually believe me? That I saw something?"

"'Freaky?'" he repeated to himself in a whisper, brow ridge furrowed. What was I expecting?

He had to shake himself of whatever was going on in his head at the moment, because there were more pressing matters at hand. Like what he was going to answer her question with. Theoretically, he could go two routes; one, invalidate the experience and try to walk on the line of telling her that it was not real without making her feel crazy. And then probably get mad at him. Or two, go along with it, if he didn't have the heart to do that to her. The answer was already here; he let out a deep sigh. Two, it is.

Nothing could make him want to make her feel that way, even if it meant he'd have to put in a little extra effort in fixing his mistake.

"I wouldn't doubt your judgement, [y/n]."

"Thanks

That makes me feel a lot better

You're a really good guy, Bo :)"

Freezing, he sat and stared at the screen before slowly taking the phone away from his face, lips moving, but no sound coming out. He had no idea what to say; all he could focus on was the fact that the girl he undeniably liked thought he was a good guy. And that, presumably, it meant she might have liked him as well. Big on the "might", he realized as the logical part of his mind took over once again. Regardless, he licked his lips and got to preparing a worthy response. He didn't want to come off as flustered as he felt. Donnie was aware he was not particularly suave—he took solace in the fact that she couldn't see his face or hear his voice. He contemplated on acting a bit more "cool guy" than he actually was, but wanted her to like him for him, not a facade. Which was a major contradiction to all that he had done up to that point, but the least he could do was be the person he was on the inside!

"You there?"

"Sorry, I got distracted…

You really think so?"

"That I think you're a great guy?"

"Well...yes."

"Totally. 100%"

His heart was going, he was stammering to himself, and a new feeling enveloped him. He was no stranger to the different emotions; he'd gotten familiar with many of them. Because though he didn't always show it, he had a lot of feelings. These, he felt most viscerally. But he had to get back on track. If he could push last night's incident under the rug, all would be well. More well than it already was, considering.

"Thank you, [y/n]

To be honest, I've never had a friend like you

So, do you want to talk more about what you saw? I know I'm switching tracks quickly, it's just very….interesting."

It was a jarring and awkward subject change, he knew that, but he desperately wanted to get it out of the way. The sooner, the better.

"I suppose

You seem pretty interested in it"

Maybe she wasn't hanging onto the experience like he'd thought she would. There were so many tales of people seeing inexplicable things and becoming enraptured by the experience that he guessed he should only expect the worst, but it appeared that she was not so obsessed. Crisis averted?

"Not too much, I was just wondering

We can forget about it."

"Oh, I'm not going to forget about it, Bo"

There it is, he thought, not surprised.

After thirty minutes of attempting to throw her off without coming off as suspicious himself, he had to take a breather, reorganize his mind. Only to come back and find that she had to go take care of things, and that she'd talk to him later. He'd done as much fixing as he could; at that point, it was as good as it was going to get. The thought of being looked for by his unknowing friend loomed about in the coming weeks as they did their patrols, when they would pass by her residence, and the times that he snuck off to stop by himself. Sometimes accompanied by Mikey, but he tried to keep it as solitary as possible. Soon, watching her on her balcony from that roof became part of his routine. He vaguely thought sometimes that watching her like that could be considered creepy, but that ship had already sailed.

For the third time in the last month he was there yet again, on the same roof, watching the same balcony, watching the same girl. Sometimes they texted, sometimes they didn't. The times he wasn't talking to her as he sat there were the times he daringly crossed the threshold onto the fire escape. There were only a few instances of that. But did he still feel out of his mind doing so? Yes. The window only looked into part of the living room and kitchen, but he felt scandalous to do it. Most of his time there was spent only with his shell against the wall next to the window, just out of sight. He could always hear her faint but noticeable footsteps coming and could easily vault the railing and climb up or drop down. She couldn't get past his keen hearing unless she knew to tread lightly.

Mikey was with him once again, this time out to look for scrap rather than patrol. He'd been buddied up with his younger brother more often ever since their talk that night in Donnie's room. They only stopped by because they were already out and had a viable excuse.

"Does she know about us? Like, me, Leo, Raph..." rambled Mikey, curious, as he practiced one of his new moves with his skateboard. He kicked up onto the ledge of the roof and skidded before hopping off, tucking the board under his arm. "You guys have been together like, what, two months? And she doesn't even know your name."

Fiddling with the strap reaching around his shoulder, Donnie replied matter-of-factly to hide the embarrassment that was ailing him at the thought, "Okay, for starters, we're not 'together'. And secondly, she hasn't mentioned voice chatting in a while."

"And?" He got back on his board, zooming by Donnie.

"My name? It just hasn't come up," Donnie shrugged.

"Call her, then!" Mikey smiled, still preoccupied with his board and trying out his new tricks. Donnie gave a light scoff and shook his head. His brother passed behind him where he sat leaned against the water tower.

"I don't want to just call her out of nowhere, Mikey, she might be asleep."

He also didn't want his brother there when he did.

"You gotta not be so shy!...oh, look, in the window. Right there. See? She's up," he quipped with a small smirk. The curtain was drawn, but the light had turned on at some point, and they could see her silhouette moving past. Donnie looked over his shoulder to say something but felt a hand slip into his pocket on the other side, stealing his phone right off of him. He was fast, but Mikey was faster in jumping into his board and gliding all the way to the other side of the roof with the fussy turtle hot on his trail.

"Mikey, quit it!" Donnie barked, lunging toward him for the phone.

"You'll thank me later!"

The two wrestled for the phone, Mikey holding it just out of reach as he tried to navigate the screen without dropping it.

"Come on," grunted Donnie as the tussle led them near the edge, where Mikey held it precariously over the alley below. His glasses were jostled off his face when a stray hand bumped them, causing them to fall amongst their feet. Squinting, he partially knelt down and searched for the pair while still looking at his brother and his phone, trying to stretch his arm long enough to snatch it. "Really?" he groaned, "just give me the phone!"

Donnie slung out his staff and used the other end to whack his wrist from underneath just as he pulled away from the edge, losing his grip on the phone. Mikey tried to catch it but it bounced off his hand, going right over the side of the roof and plummeting down into the alley.

Mikey froze. Donnie finally found his glasses.

Laughing nervously, Mikey turned back to him, "Whoops…"

When he didn't immediately find the phone on the ground, Donnie knew what happened. He looked over the edge, and there it was, sitting on the pavement in the alleyway. The building wasn't incredibly tall, but enough to do some major damage. He'd have to switch for one of his spares if he didn't want to deal with a busted-up screen.

"I don't need your 'help', Mikey, so leave it alone next time," Donnie said and gave him a narrow-eyed look, huffing as he leaped down to retrieve it.

Mikey may have been insistent, but he knew then it was time to stop. All he wanted to do was help. For his shy, flakey brother to come out of his shell (no pun intended). Donnie, at that time, had the biggest shot out of all of them for something unique and good. He hadn't yet worked out the logistics of how to bridge the gap between the two, but it was a calling of his to help him along.

Donnie watched for people from behind a corner before creeping out to get the phone, which was face down on the concrete. No doubt cracked to all hell if not completely shattered, though it did have a case.

But as he got closer, he heard a voice. From the phone.

He picked up the phone timidly and shot a glance up at the roof, where Mikey was peeking over the edge in apprehension. Without a word, Donnie activated the taser in his staff, pointing it at his brother and zapping it briefly. He flinched and retreated out of sight.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Bo?" she asked again, tone riddled with confusion. "What was that?"

"Uh, yes—hol—hold on, please," stammered out donnie, flying around the corner and pressing flat against the wall as a group of laughing people passed by the alley. "Just one second," he said nervously. Above him, Mikey was rapidly motioning for him to get up there, eyes wide and body trying to stay low. Baffled, Donnie gestured back at him, mouthing at him to keep his pants on for one more minute while he made his way up.

"Hey, what's going on there?" she inquired, concerned.

A street cat abruptly skittered out from between his legs from the dumpster he stood next to, and he had to stifle a startled yelp. He hopped up onto the nearest fire escape, trying to control his breathing. "Hey, hello…[y/n]," he half-chuckled, distracted by working up the building one-armed as he kept as quiet as possible.

"What was all that? And who's 'Mikey'?"

There was suddenly a shout—Mikey's shout—and his stomach did a jump. He sputtered as fast as he could, "I'm sorry [y/n] but this really isn't a good time, and I mean it really isn't," he pulled himself up onto the roof, and there was Mikey, fending off men clad in black, "so I have to go, but—"

"Don, dude! I need help over here!" cried his brother, sliding out of the way as a sword was jabbed towards him. He countered with a harsh uppercut to the man's chin, sending him stumbling backwards. The blade fell to the concrete with a clank.

"'Don'? Bo, what the hell?! Who is with you? And—"

Donnie jumped into the battle, a mix of nine or ten armed men with swords other weapons, and Mikey trying to stave them off, swinging his chucks with nothing short of reckless abandon. But he still didn't hit himself with them.

Ending the call, he secured the phone in his pocket. He wailed the guy closest to him in the side of the head with the heavy staff, then kicked him in the chest. The man fell to the blow, and Mikey ducked underneath the length of Donnie's weapon just in time as the two came together. Stray bullets flew past them, some colliding with their shells as they spun around for protection.

"How was it?!" Mikey yelled over the clamor, breathless. Donnie sidestepped from the rapid hit he sent towards the human to his left.

"What are you talking about?!" Donnie loudly questioned, flummoxed of what could have been going on in his brain during a fight. "We're kind of in the middle of something here!"

"Your phone call!"

"Yeah, the hell's the talkin' about, Don?" a gruff voice cut through the jumble.

Both of the boys whirled around to see their older brothers there, weapons drawn.

"Oh, right. As soon as I saw those bad guys coming, I let them know," said Mikey casually to Donnie, throwing his fist into the face of the man coming up behind him. "You know, standard biz."

With the rest of the team there, the fight was over twice as fast. Some groaning in pain and some unconscious bodies littering the area, along with their weapons. Leo finished the last one and sheathed his swords, eyes on their tallest brother while Raph kept watch around them. Donnie swallowed as Leo approached him.

"Don, you said you were going out for scrap metal," Leo stated.

In the background, Mikey grabbed his skateboard and was going to try to kickflip over one of the knocked out guys, but Raph yanked the board from him, growling. He checked all of the men to make sure they were down and would stay down.

"We were...just on our way back?" Donnie answered. Nearby, there was a small pile of scrap he'd collected, though definitely not enough to justify being out that long.

"So you stopped at your friend's place?" Leo deadpanned, crossing his arms. "Didn't you think that this could get her in trouble, too? Her apartment's right there, dude!"

Mikey budded in and corrected him, "Ah, we stopped by [y/n]'s. And nah! It's all good."

Donnie's face twitched. "Of course I thought about it! That's why I've only come here three times since, and only thirty minute intervals!" he bit back, throwing his hands up. The rest of his brothers all looked at him and his specificity. "I'm not naive, Leo."

The leader pushed past the both of them, signalling that it was time to leave, and they followed. Not before Donnie got what little metal he had collected and put away his staff, tucking the stuff under his arm. Raph joined alongside Donnie as they ran. "What's with all the secret' stuff, Don? First, ya hide it to begin with, then, ya make out like you were done, and now you get jumped by Foot guys by her place when you shoulda been gettin' scrap!" he said. "How were we supposed to cover for ya if you're lyin' even after we let you off?"

"Technically, I did get some!" Donnie remarked. He held up a piece of the scrap for him to see, and Raph snorted. "But..."

Well, his question would be a little harder to answer.

Next block was the nearest manhole, where each turtle swiftly jumped in, knowing by heart (and years of wandering) most of the sewers and the way back home. In some tunnels was Mikey's telltale graffiti, but it was scattered throughout the place enough to not be a giant arrow to their hideout. In the last portion of the run was the tunnel they always slid down, and once they were actually home, Donnie knew what was coming. Master Splinter was already waiting for them by the time they arrived.

"Uh-oh," Mikey said upon seeing him, sinking behind his brothers. Raph pushed him back up front.

Dropping the scrap in his arms, Donnie squeaked, "That's not good." He quietly cursed how high pitched his voice became when he was nervous.

"Yeah…" Leo cleared his throat, looking down at his hands clasped in front of him. The situation had an awkward tension for everyone in it, save for Raph, who was immune to it by then and Splinter himself. "We took care of the soldiers," he added more seriously. "Got out of there before too much attention was drawn.

"The police may be able to handle them from here, but it will not make a dent in the Shredder's forces," explained Splinter, grave as he paced along the line of brothers. "He owns the city. Until I say so, there will be no venturing to the surface. You are all lucky to be unharmed."

"That ain't it," Raph piped up. "But they'll be bringin' the big guns, next time."

"Oh, I am well aware."

"Um...of which thing?" the nervous turtle questioned, exchanging glances to Raph and then Mikey.

Splinter raised his brows knowingly, and that was all it took for Donnie. The floodgates of his signature anxious chatter opened. He grabbed the edge of Mikey's shell and pulled him over into the spotlight with him, "I met someone over an online game and we started texting after a few weeks, and—and Leo found out and I said I would stop, but we never told you," he gestured toward their brother in blue, who refused to make eye contact, "so I told her that it was through and then Mikey somehow convinced me to go back on it," he sucked in a breath, and Mikey grinned uncomfortably, "and then we started talking again and I don't know why, but I went back there to her apartment building and it was just…stupid."

There was a cumbrous pause. Donnie was stiff as a board, Mikey couldn't look at any one thing too long, Leo stood in his polite but awkward stance, and Raph started to whistle.

As poised as ever, Splinter spoke. "I know."

All four pairs of eyes shot to their father.

"What?"

"Uh..."

"Huh?"

"Wait."

They expressed their collective confusion at the same time, and Splinter chuckled. Donnie wanted nothing more than to be able to retreat into his shell, but that was physically impossible. "Nothing gets past me, especially not you and your nervous habits, Donatello. You are scratching that spot on your neck again, son."

Flinching, Donnie pulled his hand away. He'd be damned; Splinter was right.

But unbeknownst to them, there had been spectator of their fight on the roof that night.

————————————————————————————————

shh do not think too deeply about this my children

a/n: haha plot device go brrrr

i need to finish this cursed fanfiction

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - three

New Beginnings

Timeline: Takes place a few years after the events of Breaking Dawn

Pairing: Paul Lahote x OC (Tallulah is 18)

Warnings (future chapters): Drugs/Alcohol, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Jealousy, Mental Health, (Mentions of SA, but no details)

She was like the moon -- part of her is always hidden away

Tallulah looked to the boy in front of her, up close, in much better light than she had first seen him in, he looks older, worn and tired. Like he hasn't slept well in days. “I’m aware of who you are.” she stated in a matter of fact tone, and she watches as the smirk returns to his face. Great, an inflated ego, she thought. Tallulah is overly aware that his eyes are on her, like he's trying to read her uninterested expression. “I didn’t know Joseph had a third daughter,” he spoked tentatively, as if he would cause her to bolt if he said something wrong. She nodded her head in response, of course nobody knew. “Yeah, I’m the best kept family secret there ever was,” she eased out with a breathy laugh, “I didn’t mean it like that” he backtracked quickly, “I’ve just never seen you around the rez before”

Tallulah nodded her head in understanding, “my mom hates it here so she never brought me.” she stated before turning her body back towards the bar, hoping he’d get the hint that this was not what she wanted to be talking about. The next question out of his mouth being ‘why’, clearly meant he did not know how to read a room, causing her to turn her entire body back towards him, her face level with his as he was leaning against the counter, eyes looking into hers, as she venomously spoke, “because it's a giant reminder that her ex husband spent two years of their marriage being in love with another woman before leaving her to care for a child by herself while he lived happily ever after.” The look of shock on Paul's face didn’t surprise Tallulah in the slightest.

The waitress had dropped off both of their drinks and as she was about to open her mouth to drop another heated sentence she felt a petite arm wrap around her own, and a raspy feminie voice greeted Paul, to which he nodded in acknowledgment, barely taking his eyes off of Tallulah, “Sorry, Paul, but I need to steal my sister for a moment,”. Tallulah was now looking at the tall, raven haired girl beside her. Lenna.

Now she was confused, as the younger of the two pulled her away from the counter, drink in hand, back to the table where Josie was now sitting beside herself. Lenna sat down beside her twin, across from Tallulah, a look of exasperation was evident on Lenna's face, whereas Josie had an apologetic one.

Before she could even ask what had just happened, Lenna was speaking in a heated tone, “you need to stay away from him,” she started, “he’s got a girlfriend,” before she could defend herself from what felt like an attack, Josie piped in, “They’re back together?” she asked in a shocked tone, to which her twin nodded her head furiously. “What does any of whatever you're talking about have to do with me?” she asked, eyebrow raised, Tallulah crossed her arms as she leaned back in her seat. “This has everything to do with you!” Lenna exclaimed, “You’re the shiny new toy here, doesn’t help that you're hot either. And Paul Lahote is dating Rachel Black, happily, might I add, and when they aren’t together, she's not happy and when she's not happy, I’m not happy!” she rambled, Tallulah looked to Josie for clarification, “What Lenna is trying to say is that Rachelis her boss and she is not easy to work for when she doesn’t get what she wants. And for as long as we can remember, Paul was the source of that stress. They’ve been on and off since they were 16.” Josie clarified, with Lenna adding, “Plus, dad has a rule about dating older guys, and he does not fit the qualifications, even for you.” she stated before picking at her perfectly manicured hands.

“Well, no need to stress. I’m not a homewrecker.” Tallulah stated matter of factly. “ Besides, he’s not my type anyways” Not that Tallulah had a type really, anyone who didn’t want her commitment and could make her feel something other than numb, was good enough for her.

The three girls stayed at the cafe until it was nearly dark. The twins carried the conversation, with Tallulah nodding her head and giving one word answers whenever it was needed. She didn’t particularly care for the topics in which they were being brought up, like who broke up or who’s not friends anymore. In such a small area she figured this was typical considering everyone knew everyone here. She didn’t even want to think about what people might be saying about her. After awhile, Lenna had to get to work and Josie had received a text from Kira of when dinner would be, to which Tallulah thought was odd, her and her mother never ate dinner together as a family. Either her mother was at work or she was out with friends, being left up to her own devices. So when Josie and Tallulah walked through the front door of their home to the smell of a home cooked meal, she felt a tinge of jealousy. The twins were living the life she had dreamt of as a child, a mother who cooked, a dad that was present in their lives, family dinners where they could talk about their days, the good and the bad. A family that made memories together, rather than apart.

The two girls kicked off the shoes and before making their way to the dining room table, Tallulah felt awkward, she didn’t want to sit in someone else's seat, so, she let Josie sit in her usual spot before sitting down, Kira and her dad sat at the ends of the table. They all jumped right in, grabbing and passing food to each other as if Tallulah had been there for years.

As they ate, Kira asked how her first full day in La Push was, she shrugged her shoulders, before stating, “it was alright. Met some people who seemed to already know who I was.” This caused her father and Kira to laugh, as Tallulah took another bite while her dad asked, “catch any names?”, before she could even answer, Josie was answering for her, “She met Paul today, seemed like they really hit it off.” Tallulah couldn't stop the glare that adorned her face, for someone who had essentially told her their dad didn’t like him, she was really throwing her in front of a bus.

She looked at her dad, trying to gauge a reaction from him but he was looking at Kira, the two of them silently communicating from across the table, before saying, “I don’t know if that's someone you’d want as a friend.He’s quite older than you, Tal, nearly 27.” to which she shrugged off, saying, “he was just asking if i was your daughter. Not a lot of people knew you had three before yesterday.” No longer having an appetite, she dropped her fork onto her plate, “and not that it's anyone's business, but I can make my own friends, older or younger. Thank you for dinner, Kira.” she said trying to contain her anger before standing up and tucking her chair in. She grabbed her plate and brought it into the kitchen, the anger that has been stirring since the day before coming back out as she tried to calm herself before it came back to bite her. She tossed her food and placed her plate in the dishwasher before walking up to her room and shutting the door gently, she turned towards her bed noticing a black book bag with a folded slip of paper on it. Picking it up and opening, she recognized it as a schedule, reading it over, she noticed she had more independent study periods than actual classes. Written in pen below the timetable there was a note, stating, “exempt from AP Literature, Biology III and Calculus”, which were all classes she had taken in the first semester of her old school. She let out a breath of relief at the thought of not taking them again. Shoving the paper in her bag, before dropping it at the foot of her bed. She grabbed a book out of one of her unpacked duffels that her mother must have packed for her, before laying on her bed to read.

-

At some point she must have dozed off, the room was dark but the moonlight illuminated from the window. Tallulah got up and stretched her back from the odd position she had fallen asleep, before stripping out of her jeans in favour of comfy shorts and a baggy t-shirt. She made her way into the hall to use the bathroom she shared with the twins, as well as to brush her teeth. From the bathroom she could hear the muffled voices of Jira and her dad, ‘he’s too old for her’ ‘this could be good for her’ ‘or it could push her further away’ ‘you and i both know that wont happen’, it didn’t take a genius to realize who they were talking about, and she wasn’t bothered by it in the slightest because in her mind, if they never assert their problems with her, then they can never be mad. How can she go against them if she didn’t know what she was doing wasn’t allowed?

She left the bathroom after dousing her face with water and patting it dry to see Josie waiting outside, Tallulah rolled her eyes before brushing past her, not listening to her apologies, she didn’t care if Josie was a snitch. She's just happy she found out sooner, rather than later.

[holidaywishes]

It’s Just Sex

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: So I was hoping for maybe a bi reader and her and Fred have kind of like a sugar daddy/dom kind of relationship but not very intense more of a soft caring dom with real feelings there as well. anyway, before the reader met Fred she was in a kind of friends with benefits relationship with a woman and that relationship was also very dom/sub centred and maybe her old lover comes to Toronto for maybe a business trip or something (I’m imagining powerful businesswoman vibes here) and asks the reader to meet her for drinks and when she tells Fred and explains their relationship to him somehow Fred ends up joining them for drinks and maybe her ex lover suggests something and it goes from there 👀

  Warning: smut as requested, drug use, maybe some fluff, maybe some angst or jealousy?

  Author’s Note: Gonna be honest, my experience is limited in, like, all aspects so I don’t know how this will turn out or if it will really be what you’re looking for, anon, but I’m taking my best shot. I hope you still enjoy it! I also want to apologize if I took any missteps in the way I talked about bisexuality — my intention is never to offend and this was my first time writing a bi reader so please feel free to let me know if/where I went wrong. Stay Golden loves <3!

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

  You grew up in Antigonish, a small town in Nova Scotia, so you were used to more of a slow paced life. You got good grades, never broke the law and the only form of rebelling you did came in the form of stealing a five cent candy from the convenience store on the corner of Main Street. So when you moved to Boston for University, you expected to be overwhelmed but you didn’t expect to meet anyone -- but then she showed up

  “Hi there” a voice said confidently behind you, leading you to turn around slowly to see who she was talking to

  “Me?” you asked, surprised when she nodded with a smile, “oh, hi”

  “I saw you order a Manhattan and I thought to myself, ‘now that’s my type of girl’” she joked

  “Honestly, I hate it,” you admitted, playing with the base of the glass, “I thought I was ordering a Cosmopolitan but Manhattan sounded more familiar so I ordered that but now...”

  “You’re cute,” the woman said, taking the empty seat next to you, “I love Manhattan’s so I’ll happily take yours but let me get you your Cosmo”

  “You don’t have to...” you blushed

  “I know” she replied confidently, earning a shy smile from you

  “I’m (Y/N) by the way”

  “Adrianne,” she smiled, “but all my friends call me Roxy”

  “Why Roxy?” you chuckled and she gave some wrap around answer about it being an inside joke from middle school. You were mesmerized with her the entire night. The way she spoke. The way she took small sips from her drink and licked her lips. The way her dark hair would brush across her exposed skin of her back as her smile hypnotized you. The way her hand grazed your knee when she made a joke or the sound of her laugh when you didn’t know she was flirting with you. She gave you her number at the end of the night and you spent the next week trying to think of exactly what to say, “she’s way too good for me” you sighed, pushing your phone across the counter

  “Why?” Your best friend, Nicole, asked. You two went to high school together so she had a habit of hyping you up when she thought you needed it most

  “If you had seen her, you would agree with me, Nic. She just has this way about her,” you gushed, “she’s just cool and charming and way too good for me”

  “You are amazing. Who cares if this girl is ‘cool,’ we’re not in high school anymore so you just need someone who is going to see how amazing you are”

  “Nic, I don’t even know if she wants to start something...”

  “You said she gave you her number right?”

  “Yeah...”

  “So she obviously wants something”

  “Yeah but is all she wants sex? Because I don’t know if I’m the hook up type”

  “Text her. Call her. Find out what she’s looking for” she smirked, filling up a glass of water from the faucet to drown out any argument you tried to make. You scoffed at her ability to brush you off before you grabbed your phone and sent Adrianne a text

  “Wanna go to dinner?” you asked simply

  “I could eat” she replied. Later that night, you found yourself standing outside the restaurant, taking a deep breath before stepping inside, knowing she was waiting for you. It was an effortless night; you laughed, you told her some of your weirdest childhood stories, she told you about her family and what she was doing in Boston. The night was rounded out by following her back to her apartment and letting your bodies take over. You thought that the date went well but you didn’t see her for a few months when she randomly texted you, an occurrence that would happen every two weeks or so from that point on, and it became very clear to you that she was looking for a ‘friend with benefits.’ You weren’t a huge fan of it but you couldn’t get Adrianne out of your head so you went along with it but she didn’t seem to take it well when you said you had gotten a job in Toronto

  “We’ve been doing this for years, Roxy,” you whined, finally able to call her by her nickname, “I’ve graduated, we’ve graduated. I have a chance to start my life with a really successful company and I don’t know why you wouldn’t want me to take it. It’s not like you need me to stick around for anything. You're the one who didn’t want to have any commitments so this shouldn’t cause any problems for you”

  “I just don’t get why you wanna go back to Canada” she said with a tinge of disgust on her words and you felt a rush of rage roll through you

  “Because it’s home” you said plainly, scoffing before turning on your heels

  “(Y/N)” she sighed

  “Adrianne,” you replied softly, “I really hope we can see each other again someday. You will always be such an important part of my life but I need to take this step”

  “I understand,” she smiled, “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean anything about--”

  “I know,” you interrupted with a smile, “I’ll see you.. when I see you.” As soon as you landed in Toronto, a giant grin spread across your face because it finally felt like home. You walked into e=mc2 on your first day anxious to get started and they did not waste any time putting you to work

  “Alright, (Y/N), so we’ve got a wedding on Friday, a conference on Wednesday, a sweet sixteen next month that we have to settle all the details for next week, a gala in about 3 months -- give or take -- that is going to take a lot of work and a lot of time,” your boss explained, rambling slightly as the two of you rushed around the office, “and then there’s all the smaller events that we do. You’ll be very busy. Are you okay with all of this?”

  “Of course!” you exclaimed, struggling to keep up with her footsteps

  “We know it can be a bit jarring at first, because it all happens so quickly, which is why we put a clause in your contract that states you have a 30 day trial period. Like a subscription to Netflix,” she laughed, “to see if you can handle it or if you want to drop it”

  “Smart,” you smirked, taking a breath when your boss finally stopped in the break room and got himself a glass of water, “but I don’t think I’ll need it. I love the fast paced environment”

  “Good,” she smiled in return, “I think you’ll fit in really well here.”

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V

  You had noticed her once before. She was running through the building, clearly stressed about something, when you were walking back to your apartment with Auston. You saw her again a few weeks later, having lunch in the café across the street; you found yourself waiting for the next time you’d see her would be.

  “Shit shit shit” you heard someone whisper from down the hall, finding her rushing down the corridor with an arm full of papers. You tried to move out of her way, not wanting to cause her undue stress when her shoulder connected with your arm sharply

  “Oomph” the two of you said in tandem as her papers went flying

  “Ow,” she groaned as she rubbed her shoulder, her eyes still not looking up at yours while she tried to collect everything that you’d made her drop, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going. I’m just in a bit of a rush...”

  “That’s alright” you said softly and she finally looked up at you

  “I... I really am sorry. I’ve been told I need to be more careful” she smiled

  “Really, it’s fine. No harm done,” you replied, “do you have time for a drink?”

  “Uhm,” she hesitated, fixing the bag on her shoulder, “I can’t... I have a lot of work to do. I’m sorry”

  “How about tomorrow?” you called when she hastened down the hall and she looked back at you, not saying anything, “I’m Freddie by the way!” she stopped where she stood before turning around and letting a smile grow on her face

  “(Y/N)!” she returned. The two of you eventually met up for lunch and, after that, couldn’t stop talking to each other; you couldn’t stop thinking about her. “I want to be very clear...” she started one day, after months of day dates, midnight snacks and weekly hookups. You furrowed your brow at her words, “I don’t want to just mess around. I did that once, with my ex, and it wasn’t right for me. If you don’t want a relationship, that’s fine, but tell me now because I don’t wanna waste my time.” Her bluntness was a breath of fresh air and you couldn’t help but be more attracted to with every word she spoke

  “I wouldn’t want to waste your time...” you smirked, wanting to keep her on her toes just a little longer. “I don’t want to mess around either. I’ve done that before and I don’t want to do it anymore either. I want to be with you” she jumped into your arms and crashed her lips onto yours. From then on, the two of you were almost inseparable, learning new things at every turn, “I’ve never heard of Antigonish” you said when she told you about her hometown

  “It’s small but it’s cute. It’s a good place to raise a family...”

  “What about that?” you asked, “a family? You want one?”

  “Are you asking if I want kids?” she teased

  “Maybe”

  “Do you want kids?”

  “Yeah,” you laughed, “I want a big family. Lots of kids”

  “How many is lots?” she asked seriously

  “As many as you’ll give me”

  “Aww aren’t you cute”

  “I know” you joked and she pushed your shoulder playfully. After nearly two years, she had never really opened up her exes, no matter how many times you asked, and it was starting to really get on your nerves

  “Why are you getting so mad?” she yelled

  “Why won’t you be honest with me?”

  “I really don’t have any ‘exes’ so there’s nothing to talk about”

  “You said that your ex just wanted to mess around, so obviously you had at least one ex” you argued

  “I.. I called her my ex because it was easier to explain than we were ‘friends with benefits’ because it was more than that to me but it wasn’t to her but I hate the term ‘complicated’ even if it’s what it was,” she countered, still trying to argue her point but you were caught up on the fact that her ex was a girl that you couldn’t focus. “Freddie?”

  “Sorry,” you shook your head, “you said her. Your ex is a girl?”

  “Yeah...” was all she said, earning a scoff from you

  “That’s it?”

  “What’s the problem?”

  “Was it like an experiment?”

  “An exper-- no it wasn’t an experiment,” she scoffed, “I’m bisexual”

  “And you never thought to tell me?!”

  “It’s not a big deal so I.. didn’t think to mention it”

  “It is a big deal!” you shouted

  “Why? Why is it a big deal?”

  “You dated a woman!”

  “And I’ve dated men... plus, I told you, I didn’t date her. We just hooked up”

  “Look, I don’t care the bisexual thing. I just don’t get why you didn’t tell me about it?” you asked, sitting down on the couch

  “I don’t know... I guess I wasn’t sure how you’d react. Not everyone accepts it, my grandparents sure as hell didn’t” she sighed

  “I love you,” you said, “I’m not your grandparents. You love who you love and that shouldn’t be helped. I’m just happy that I’m the one you love this time”

  “I do love you,” she smiled, wrapping her arms around your neck, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but thank you for not... overreacting.”

  “Let’s just make this the last secret for a while okay?” you chuckled

  “I can make that work.”

xx

  “I’m in town” a number you didn’t recognize texted you and you racked your brain about who it could be

  “Sorry... who is this?”

  “Ha ha very funny”

  “Nicole?” you sent, thinking that your best friend changed her number

  “No?”

  “Charlie?”

  “Seriously (Y/N)?”

  “I’m sorry. I really don’t know who this is. I don’t recognize this number...”

  “It’s Roxy” your cursor blinked in the empty space of your text box while you tried to think of something to say. It had been almost five years since you last saw her but seeing her name on the screen still made your heart race. Without even trying, she’d begun messing with your head all over again

  “Oh. Hi”

  “Oh. Hi?” she repeated your message before quickly sending another, “really that’s all I get?”

  “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you...”

  “We said we’d keep in touch. That didn’t happen, clearly”

  “You’re a busy woman. Last I heard, you were well on your way to being a CEO at some Fortune 500 company”

  “Ah yes. That planned changed”

  “It did?” you replied quickly, intrigued about what she could be in town for

  “It did. It was fun while it lasted but I’m still busy, I like it that way”

  “What are you up to then?”

  “Well... I think we should meet up and talk about it. I would love to see you” You could picture her lips speaking those words. The way her tongue lingered on the back of her teeth as if she didn’t want the ‘L’ to escape her mouth before her breath could reach it. The way her grin would shape the sound of ‘you’ to make it sound more like an invitation than a word. You saw it all in your head and your fingers responded before you could stop them

  “Sure! What about Friday?”

  “Sounds good. I heard of a bar called The Cloak Bar that has a great vibe. I’m excited to try it”

  “Yeah I’ve heard of it. Do you mind if I bring someone along?” you asked, biting the inside of your cheek nervously

  “Not at all”

  “Great! See you Friday!”

  “(Y/N)?” Freddie said when he saw you staring you at your phone screen in silence, “babe?”

  “Huh?” you said, still frazzled by the conversation you’d just had

  “Everything okay? You look a little distracted...”

  “Wanna go to a bar on Friday?” you blurted out

  “Sure..” he scoffed

  “Good. Great. Good,” you stammered, “that’s good. You’ll get to meet an old friend of mine.. from Boston...”

  “An old friend?” he asked before you finally met his gaze, “an old friend.. your ex...”

  “She’s in town and wants to... catch up”

  “I’m sure she does” he teased, sitting down beside you

  “Don’t be like that. She texted me... I could’ve not invited you, she knows you’re coming”

  “She knows your boyfriend is coming?”

  “She knows you’re coming...”

  “(Y/N)...” he scoffed with a smile, dropping his head, “you didn’t say ‘my boyfriend is coming’ did you?” your silence said everything it needed to and Freddie fell back into the couch

  “I’m sorry!” you tried, embarrassed about what happened, “everything happened so fast! I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know why I didn’t say something about you, why I didn’t mention your name, I’m so sorry! But I do want you there!”

  “Relax,” he smirked, wrapping his arm around your waist and kissing your cheek, “It’s fine. I get it and you know what? I’m excited to meet this ‘Roxy’“

  “Good. You’ll like her!” you exclaimed, “but don’t call her Roxy... it’s an inside thing. I just wouldn’t want her to like hate you before getting to know you”

  “Okay,” he chuckled, “I promise, I’ll behave.” When Friday came along, you had changed your outfit countless times and you couldn’t calm your breathing; Freddie was finally able to calm you down enough that you could pick an outfit but your nerves were still getting the best of you. You showed up early and found a booth near the back and waited for Adrianne to walk through the door, watching your boyfriend’s reaction whenever you took your eyes off the entrance. “Babe... stop. You’re gonna be fine,” you laughed as he pressed a kiss to your lips, “I’m here for you.”

  “I’m just so nervous... I know I shouldn’t be but I am” you said before taking a deep breath and training your eyes back on the door

  “Is that her?” Freddie asked, nodding to the crowd of people who just walked in and you searched to see if she was among them. When you finally saw her, your first thought was she hasn’t changed a bit

  “Yeah... that’s her” you sighed, watching as her smile went wide when she found you. She was wearing, what looked like, a pin striped suit -- tapered legs with the highest stilettos you’d ever seen topped with a one button blazer, low enough that both you and Freddie could tell she was only wearing a bra underneath

  “Holy shit” you heard him gasp and you hit his chest before Adrianne got to the table

  “(Y/N),” she said in a sultry voice, the same one she’d used that night you first met, “it’s so good to see you again. You look great”

  “Me?” you blushed, “look at you! You look.. wow, just... wow”

  “Thank you” she smiled, her eyes moving to Freddie slowly

  “Sorry, this is my boyfriend. This is Freddie, Freddie this is Adrianne”

  “Nice to meet you” Freddie greeted politely, outstretching his hand to shake hers but Adrianne only smirked in return before taking a seat beside you, tucking herself quite close to you

  “It’s nice to meet you as well, Freddie...”

  “So.. tell me. What’s new? What brings you to the City?” you asked, moving closer to Freddie and his arm draped over your shoulder

  “I’m working on something. A merger, more or less, with the company I’m working for in Boston and one based out of Toronto. It appears the Canadians are not too keen to share with us Bostonian's” she laughed and you felt her hand land on your knee

  “Let’s get some drinks!” you said, clearing your throat, “they have great cocktails here!”

  “Don’t mind if I do” she said in the same sultry tone as before, peering over at Freddie, her hand still stationed on your knee and you could tell she was planning something; what that something was, remained to be seen.

xx

Adrianne’s P.O.V

  You weren’t expecting her to be in a relationship. Not that she wasn’t the type, just that she didn’t give you the impress she was dating but you could see why she was with him. He was big and he looked strong, she probably loved his hands on her body, his fingers inside her; god you missed having your fingers inside her. The way that she sunk into him told you that she felt safe with him and the way that he looked at her told you that he loved her and would likely do anything for her. You bit your lip as you watched the two of them interact, asking questions when you felt like it, keeping that ere of mystery about yourself that you’d always liked to. After two rounds of specialty cocktails and an extra old fashioned you ordered for (Y/N), the group was starting to loosen up a little

  “Babe, I need to get out,” she whispered to Freddie, leaning against his chest as she spoke, “can you move a little?”

  “Where’re you going?” he smirked

  “I have to pee” she giggled

  “Why don’t you just crawl over him?” you teased, half-expecting her to challenge you but wanting to see what she’d choose, when she squinted her eyes in mild annoyance before straddling her boyfriend, pecking his lips gently and shifting her body to the open space beside him.

  “You really bring out a different side of her, don’t you?” he smirked

  “I guess I just know a different version of her” you replied

  “So.. what kind of person handles mergers? What’s your job title?” he pried

  “Technically, I’m an Investment Advisor. That’s what it says on my business card but if you ask my bosses they’ll tell you I’m the badass who manages their portfolios so they don’t get fired or arrested for fraud” you replied proudly

  “Shit,” he scoffed, “sounds important”

  “What do you do?”

  “Nothing nearly as important,” he laughed, “I’m a goaltender. In the NHL”

  “For Toronto?” you asked, genuinely intrigued and he nodded, “well damn. That’s pretty cool. I’m starting to get a better idea why (Y/N) likes you”

  “I mean.. she’s not with me because of my job” he clarified but you could tell you had shaken him

  “Are you sure?” you teased, the situation moving more and more in your favour

  “I--”

  “I’m back!” she interrupted, a grin wide across her face as she slipped back into the booth, reaching across Freddie to grab her drink

  “So..” you continued, ending the conversation between you and Freddie, “what are the plans for the rest of the night, you two?”

  “Fred’s got practice tomorrow afternoon so we probably shouldn’t be out too late” she admitted, draping her arm over his shoulder before kissing his cheek

  “We could go somewhere,” you added, noticing Freddie’s head snap back to you as a glare pierced through you, “just us girls. Catch up some more, dance a little? Like old times?”

  “Rox..” she laughed, climbing onto her boyfriends lap, “I’m not really up for dancing tonight. I kinda miss our bed. All this alcohol is hitting me at once and I just wanna lay down”

  “Hold on,” you mocked, “are we not young? Are we not healthy? Are we not vivacious?”

  “Vivacious?” she chuckled

  “Are we not sexy?” you added

  “I don’t wanna dance tonight, Roxy” she countered

  “I have something for you,” you smiled, glancing at Freddie, “for us”

  “What’s that?” he asked

  “Ecstasy” you said plainly, laughing as (Y/N) choked on her drink

  “Hey!” she squirmed, “that’s illegal!”

  “Relax,” you teased, “we’re not gonna get caught. I only have two tablets, so you each can have half”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea...” (Y/N) hesitated and you shrugged, swallowing the small pill quickly

  “What?” you asked, “I’m not gonna waste a perfectly good pill, a perfectly good night, just because you’re not going to or because your boyfriend here as to stand around on ice tomorrow afternoon”

  “Roxy, don’t be rude!” she yelled before Freddie threw the pill in his palm down his throat, taking a swig of (Y/N)’s old fashioned to chase it down, “FREDDIE?!”

  “Babe, come on. It’ll be fine. Nothing bad will happen, I promise” he assured her

  “We’re here for you” you added

  “It’ll be fun” he said, nuzzling her neck with his nose and kissing her collarbone. She looked at the pill in her hand then back at you and Freddie, “why don’t we try something?”

  “I don’t know what else you guys want me to try?” she whined, earning a small laugh from the two of you, “what?”

  “No babe,” Freddie whispered, taking the pill from her palm, “let me take this and you just...” he leaned in, placing his fingers under her chin to bring her close to him, kissing her slowly and you watched as their tongues danced together, exchanging the pill. You noticed her hands tug at the fabric on his shoulders and you suddenly wondered how fast he could make her cum and if you could do better.

  “Maybe should we get out of here...” you leaned in between them, catching (Y/N)’s stare while her puffy lips pouted and her breath began to build. She looked back at Freddie, biting her lip as she tried to gauge his reaction. When he looked over at you, you raised your eyebrows as if to say ‘come on’ and he nodded in return; the three of you took a car back to Freddie’s apartment, you and Freddie unable to keep your hands off of (Y/N). You sat behind her, hands on her hips, before you pushed her hair away from her neck, planting kisses along the side up to her ear while Freddie messaged her thighs and kissed her shoulder and her hand snaked to the back of his neck. Her moans filling the car let you know that the Ecstasy was kicking in, her hand falling from Freddie’s neck to your leg told you that tonight was going to be exactly what you hoped for.

xx

  You didn’t know how it happened but when the three of you stumbled into Freddie’s apartment, you were hypnotized by the sensations covering your body. Roxy kept her hands firmly on your waist as her lips continued to softly kiss your neck while Freddie directed the two of you to his bedroom, the windows covering the room in an amber hue.

  “Lay down” Roxy whispered. You looked at Freddie before sitting down on the bed, not losing eye contact with him. Roxy was the first to take off any clothing, unbuttoning her blazer to expose the lacy bra she had underneath; you forgot how amazing her body was and you couldn’t control your hands reaching out to touch her. She smiled before leaning in to nip at your lips, placing her hands on either side of you as she hovered over you, making sure you were laying flat on the bed. You noticed her and Freddie exchange a look as if they could read each other’s minds; Roxy moved behind you while Freddie took her place in front of you. They started peeling of your clothes before their hands roamed your body, Roxy pulling you up gently to rest you in her lap before she leaned down to press a soft kiss to your lips. Freddie was taking his time with you, slowly kissing your thighs and teasing your core as he traded his lips from one thigh to the next, his breath cascading over your skin and driving you mad the more time that went by

  “Oh god” you whined at the lack of connection you were getting, catching Freddie’s smirk as he pulled back to pull off his shirt and Roxy began massaging your scalp. You saw the two of them glare at each other before your eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of Roxy’s fingers tangling in your hair

  “You wanna fuck her?” you heard Freddie say, feeling his body hover over yours, “huh? Is that what you came here for?”

  “That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?” Roxy returned

  “This was your plan wasn’t it? When you texted her, you just didn’t think I’d be here” Freddie grumbled

  “I had no idea you existed” she challenged, forcing your eyes to open

  “What the hell is going on?” you yelled to them, sitting up so you were between them. Neither of them answered you, they only glared at each other before continuing to kiss either side of your neck, Roxy’s hand trailing down your body until she found your clit; circling it until you let out a raspy moan, “fuck!” Freddie continued kissing down your body, stopping to kiss your nipples for moment before he stood up to take off his jeans

  “Sit up” Roxy whispered in your ear and you obliged, wrapping your arms around Freddie’s neck to pull him close to you, pushing your breasts to his chest while his hands grabbed your hips and Roxy removed her pants before taking her place behind you once more. “You’re so wet, baby” she smirked as your back began to arch at her touch

  “You look so sexy” Freddie added lowly and you dropped your head against Roxy’s lap until she moved back to lay your head onto the mattress, placing her legs on either side of your head, encouraging you to begin working at her orgasm. You felt Freddie push your legs apart before he guided himself into you, eliciting a loud moan that rippled through Roxy, forcing her to curse into the open space. You pressed your tongue flat against Roxy’s folds as Freddie rocked into your hips, allowing your ministrations to reach Roxy without you trying too much but when she ground her hips down a little, you brought your fingers up, curling them inside her as Freddie’s hands gripped your waist and ground himself into you, harder and harder, you had to stop what you were doing

  “Fuck!” you screamed, reaching out for him with one hand while your other remained where it was, your fingers pumping in and out of Roxy until she reached her climax. She sat back against the pillows as Freddie continued to fuck you, eventually swinging her legs to the side and making her way behind Freddie. You watched as she traced her fingers up his arms, kissing his shoulders while he crashed his hips against yours

  “How tight does she feel?” you heard Roxy whisper to Freddie

  “So tight” he moaned, Roxy continuing to glide her fingers across his body

  “Such a beautiful pussy isn’t it?” she smirked, kissing his neck in the process

  “God yes” he growled, wrapping his arms around your waist to bring you up

  “Make her cum” Roxy whispered once more, her hands moving to push his hips into yours. Their breathing synced with each other as they brought you to a mindless state of bliss

  “Fuck” you breathed, the two of them crashing on the bed beside you, your chests rising and falling in sync.

  “Well shit” Roxy laughed

  “That was great” you smiled

  “We’re not done yet...” she said before your hand fell into Freddie’s chest. He brought it to his lips and you felt him smile against your skin before they moved you up against the pillows. You were exhausted, and you couldn’t say you were surprised; a threesome seemed like a lot of work without the drugs and alcohol and just as much with them. You lazily danced your finger across Freddie’s arm as you caught your breath, letting your free hand glide up Roxy’s leg before she smiled at you. She cupped your face with her hand and pressed her lips to yours, parting your lips with her tongue, allowing you to melt into her body; you felt Freddie’s erection push into your ass before his lips connected with your earlobe. His hands pulled your hips into him while you continued to kiss Roxy, your fingers now tangling in her hair, before you felt Freddie thrust into you from behind. You hummed at the sensation but couldn’t break the kiss you were sharing with Roxy, letting Freddie fuck you as hard as he could.

  “Fuck baby, you feel so good” he moaned

  “Fuck” you moaned in return, catching Roxy’s eyes before she kissed down your body until she reached your centre. Circling your clit with her tongue as Freddie fucked you from behind, your body becoming overwhelmed by sensation. It wasn’t long before you reached your second high, letting out a squeal as both Freddie and Roxy found the exact right spot at the same time, Freddie biting your shoulder as he kept himself inside you until he came. You fell back into his chest, panting as you calmed down, smirking when Roxy didn’t come back up from where she was. “What are you doing down there?” you laughed

  “I’m just catching my breath” she replied

  “I’ll be right back” Freddie said, kissing your temple before getting up and heading into the en suite bathroom. He came back with a damp face cloth and began cleaning you up, turning your body gently to make sure he didn’t miss anything. Roxy scoffed when he left without doing the same for her, “I thought I’d get a clean cloth for you” he said as soon as he came back in the room, doing the same for her as he did for you.

  “Well aren’t you just... perfect” she said, “prince of aftercare”

  “He’s pretty great” you smiled

  “Thanks,” he chuckled, “can I get anyone anything from the kitchen? Water?”

  “No I’m good, thanks babe”

  “I’ll take some wine if you got it. Wine always helps level me out after E” Roxy said

  “You got it, Adrianne” he smirked, making his way downstairs quickly, leaving the two of you to giggle and gossip about him

  “You really love him don’t you?” she said, pushing herself up onto the pillows where you were

  “I do” you confessed

  “You guys are good together” she replied and you could tell there was something she wasn’t saying

  “Thanks...” you furrowed your brow, “what’s wrong, Rox?”

  “Nothing,” she scoffed and you tilted your head, “no really. I just.. didn’t think I’d find you so domesticated”

  “Domesticated?” you laughed, “what about this night says ‘domesticated?’”

  “Not this night,” she smiled, “just how you are with him. It’s sweet. It’s just not what I expected”

  “What did you expect?” you questioned

  “I guess I thought you’d be independent. Being a boss ass bitch, like me,” she laughed, “and not wanting to settle down so you’d be f—”

  “Filling my time with random hookups?” you interrupted and she shrugged like it was obvious, “you know I’m not like that. I’ve never been like that.”

  “I’m happy for you” she added just as Freddie came in with her wine, nearly filled to the brim, “he’s a keeper” she whispered. She made quick work of the wine, finishing it almost immediately after she got it, and decided it was time she head out, “this was fun. Like really fun, but I think it’s time for me to go”

  “Adrianne...” you sighed, using her full name to try to convince her to stay

  “No really. I’ve got an early morning, you’ve got a busy day,” she replied, gesturing to a still-shirtless Freddie, “I had a great time but let’s just let it be that. It was nice to see you again, (Y/N), and it was nice to meet you, Freddie”

  “You too, Adrianne” he smiled sweetly

  “Oh please,” she laughed, “you’ve seen me naked. You can call me Roxy”

  “Why is it Roxy? You never really told me...” you asked with a smile

  “I went as Roxanne, or what I thought Roxanne would look like, for Halloween one year. You know like the Police song?” she explained while you and Freddie nodded, “well anyway, everyone got tired of singing the song to me, real quick, and Roxy was born”

  “I like that story” you smiled, noticing the shyest smile creep over Adrianne’s face; it was the first time she’d really been truly vulnerable with you

  “Take care of her, okay?” she said to Freddie

  “I will” he replied

  “Take care of yourself, Adrianne” you said softly

  “I will” and just like that, she was gone. You tucked yourself into your boyfriends chest and fell asleep; mumbling that you loved him before everything went dark. You weren’t sure if or when you’d ever hear from her again but, if one thing came from this night, you were pretty sure nothing was just sex anymore for Roxy.

[ramonahblog]

Heartstopper Review Rambles. I wrote it out of order, sorry. 

Overall; Episode One; Episode Six. 

Spoilers

Episode Two: Crush

My brain shutdown the moment Charlie said “bisexual people exist”.

I had to watch the episode again immediately because, frankly, shows (and media in general) saying bisexual is rare enough.

Let alone having a gay character say it. If a media ever dares say bisexual, it’s usually the bisexual character. Followed immediately by disbelief or questions by other characters. So I can’t give you initial thoughts because of the said-brain shutting down thing. So just have random shit, I guess. 

Charlie really said Bi Rights and I was already in “Precious Bean Protect” mode.  And my brain was not prepared to deal with it.

Also like the way it was done that Charlie made sure to shut down his friends’ stereotyping and bi-erasure. 

“I know he’s straight, he told me,” meanwhile Nick Bi-Panicking over the other side of the plot. 

This isn’t a dig at Charlie. He’s literally just going by Nick’s text-agreement which is already like way ahead of his friends. 

Pfft like his running. 

I’m not apologizing for that very forced simile. 

- Well, opening scene is terrifying and sad. Thanks Heartstopper. 

- DOGGIE!

- Pour one out of Nellie. Nick laughed at an unfunny post because his crush posted it and Nellie had to witness it. Nellie proving to be a good doggie 100/100.

Show does not cut to Nick after Charlie sends his ‘sneaky’ (And cringe but boy is fourteen, he’s allowed to be cringe) “thanks for being my supportive straight friend haha” text. Interesting. 

- Charlie being bold and sending a red heart. 

- And Nick’s smile at the heart. Also knowing Nellie is supposed to be eleven years old, she is definitely leaving a giant drool patch on Nick’s leg. 

- Ah so Charlie’s the person who does ask for advice but wants a certain answer instead of actual advice. 

- omg I never noticed Ajayi’s little smile as Charlie leaves the room. 

- “My parents don’t like animals,” - Charlie. So Charlie’s parents have no taste. 

- Aww Nick nearly said “you look great”. 

- Nick has not heard Charlie play the drums at this point but he’s crushing so bad he’s like “you’re good at drums” to Charlie. 

- Pour another out for Nellie who was used to get Nick’s crush over to his house. Nellie, best wingdog 100/100. 

- Snow-scene is Peak Romance Trope. The only time it is acceptable to leave a Snow-scene out of your romance if it is set in an area that never snows. 

- pfft Charlie is already mama-approved by Sarah. 

- Awww Nick was going to ask Charlie to his house again.  Also love the detail that apparently Nick couldn’t say night to Charlie through their texts and kept the chat going.

- Pffft Tao trying to pretend what is happening in rugby is me. I tried, I just can’t get it. 

- Damn it Tao. Stop getting your opinions from the grapevine. They are always years out of date. And stop making Charlie second-guess himself, he is reading right. 

- Tao “you shouldn’t talk to the rugby lads” Xu is apparently on good enough terms with one to slide up to them and ask if Nick is interested in anyone. Charlie, stop listening to Tao. 

Aww, Charlie’s little face. NO, CHARLIE YOU WERE READING THE ROOM RIGHT! STOP TRUSTING TAO ON THIS! LOOK, NICK SPECIFICALLY YELLED OUT TO WAVE AT YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING FIELD!

Also Tao sees that and is still trusting Otis’s grapevine gossip.  

“confirmed by multiple sources,” - Tao about Nick’s supposed crush on Tara. Tao, your sources suck and are the equivalent of webmd. Nellie would like a word with you Tao. Nellie was not used as a ploy to invite Charlie to Nick’s house only for you to insist that Nick has a crush on someone other than Charlie. 

- “He’s the straightest person I’ve ever seen,” - Elle. Needs to see her optometrist again. Charlie, no, sweetie. You’re not being an idiot. STOP LISTENING TO YOUR FRIENDS! 

- And now Charlie is in his head because his friends are stereotyping and listening to romance-equivalent of webmd. Great. 

- Aww, Nick practically lit up when Charlie invited him over. 

- Tara and Darcy laughing at the boyfriend questions in their language class. Also Tara’s “that’s the gayest excuse I’ve ever heard!” when Elle saw them holding hands. 

- Charlie Spring holding Nick’s hands to teach him the drums. Brave or Nick was just that terrible, Charlie’s nerves about being that close to his crush disappeared? I say brave. But I would find it funny if the real reason why Charlie just couldn’t stand Nick’s attempts to play the drums.

- Aww Nick’s bi crisis as he tries to hold Charlie’s hand twice. 

- Tori Appears and Calls It. I like to think she did not actually hear Nick’s “you look cuddly like that” to Charlie and just witnessed the hug. Well for now, that is what I have decided. I might go back to the she def heard the cuddly-part. 

Also I know in the comics, Charlie said to Tori that Nick was straight and that was why Tori said she didn’t think Nick was straight. But I like to think show-wise, Tori just saw Nick interact with her brother once and said that with no other related conversations. 

- “What does it mean when Hot Straight Boy hugs you for like a full ten seconds,” It means he ain’t straight, Charlie. Stop listening to Tao. Tao is very bad at this.

- Tao “he was probably imagining you were Tara” Xu, Nellie would like multiple words with you! Next Season: Nellie starts an animal-human feud with Tao. 

- Charlie is brave. Nick is just a himbo. Buddy, why are you having your sexuality-crisis searches in a tab that will record your history? And why, in following episodes, are you listening to videos without earphones/headphones? Do you not have any? Is your room the attic? Is Nellie getting tired of your pining and sitting/laying on your earphones/headphones?

You can’t stop headcanoning that it’s the last one of those. 

- Tao and Elle both trying to convince Charlie that Nick is straight when this episode ends with Nick googling “am i gay?” is brilliant. Charlie, stop listening to your friends. They are terrible at this.

Also if you are genuinely googling “am i gay?”, there is a ninety-nine percent chance that you are not straight. 

[queerderpyturtle]

some old rambles about discord and starswirl that I dug up

I been thinkin. Bout Discord and Starswirl. And how they probably knew each other. And what their relationship could've been. And what that means for the rest of their arcs in the show.

From what we know (and what I remember) Discord came into power after Starswirl and the pillars were sent to Limbo, but Celestia and Luna started ruling Equestria sometime between those two events, because they were too young to remember or care about the other pillars, but they banished Discord.

We don't know a lot about Discord's past, but I imagine that when he first came to Equestria (at which point I assume he was fairly young by draconequus standards), he wasn't exactly given a warm welcome. Ponies were probably absolutely terrified of this horse-headed, bat-winged, lion-pawed, snake-tailed freak of nature, and there's a good chance they would've driven him out of town full force. His first taste of ponykind was rejection.

So, later, he tries again. He makes himself a pony disguise-- a handsome unicorn stallion named Atlas-- and sets off to learn more about Equestria. And it works! He's able to make friends, live amongst ponies, and study Equestria magic. He actually gets pretty good at doing through his unicorn horn, so much so that he manages to get into a prestigious magic school for gifted unicorns. "Atlas" is of course still a troublemaker, though. He pulls pranks, annoys his teachers, breaks the rules, and just generally has no respect for authority. And why should he? The entire society that Equestria is built on is corrupt beyond all belief, stuck in its ways, and downright hostile towards any creature outside of it. They didn't deserve his damn respect. Equestria itself was fairly new as well, and the ponies themselves were still getting used to each other. It was all one giant powderkeg, and Atlas was honestly excited to see what would happen when it went off. So he stuck around, if only to cause more chaos in this personal playpen country of his. If he wasn't the best student in all of his classes, his teachers probably would've strangled him after a day.

And then one day, he found himself in a class with the famous Odin Starswirl, a magically gifted unicorn with a penchant for proving others wrong and keeping a clear head while doing it. He was proper, eloquent, studious, respectable-- a perfect pony for Atlas to torment. Except it turns out that Odin is ridiculously, insufferably hard to annoy. When Atlas knocked over his books, or spilled water on his cloak, or made fun of his sloppy hornwriting, Odin simply responded with a sigh and a quick cantrip to fix whatever the stallion had ruined with his antics. This did not please Atlas at all. He spent more time hanging around Odin than he did hanging out with his more troublesome buddies, just to try and get a rise out of him. But he never could. If anything, they were becoming... friends. Atlas's biting remarks turned into light-hearted jabs and playful scoldings.

"Odin, for heaven's sake, if you don't take a break from studying to shave for once in your damn life, I'm going to have to start calling you Starswirl the Bearded!"

His destruction of property turned into casual acts of kindness.

"Yes, I brought your saddlebag. I knew you'd forget it, you scatterbrain. We're lucky you even remember to eat."

His contempt for Odin's huffy nature turned into giving the unicorn an easy out for boring social events hosted by his equally uppity parents.

"C'mon, Stars, let's get out of here. I know a place nearby that sells elderberry tea."

"You know I can't leave. This is an important party."

"Important to whom, exactly, my dear?"

"To my parents!"

"Your parents. Well, last time I checked, they weren't you."

"...Fine. Thirty minutes, and then you're bringing me back."

Before long, Odin was regularly sneaking off to join Atlas and his friends on their escapades. He found himself strangely drawn to the unicorn, in spite of-- or maybe because of his rebellious and carefree nature. He was so different from the ponies Odin was used to, so sure of himself, so headstrong. Odin would be a fool to say he wasn't slowly getting attached to the scoundrel.

Atlas noticed this, of course. He was honestly surprised! Who knew a straight-edged young scholar like Odin would be so willing to stray from the path of monotony? And that was all Atlas wanted. To cause a little chaos in Odin's life. It wasn't as if there were moments in which he looked at the unicorn and considered giving up his whole scheme to enjoy a happy life alongside his... friend? Companion? Fellow associate? Lord, what even where they? Atlas had never really had a friend that was interested in any part of him other than the chaotic part, and Discord hadn't had any friends at all. He took a leap of faith one day to ask Odin if they were, in fact, friends, and Odin responded with an aloof "Yes, I do believe so." And that was that, wasn't it? He had a friend. A real friend.

Over the next few years, Odin and Atlas became inseparable. It was a thing to see, the two of them trotting down the streets of Canterlot together. They couldn't have been more different, from the way they walked to the way they spoke, but they were as close as ponies could get. Odin gave Atlas a safe place to practice magic, study Equestrian history, and discuss the library's old scrolls and texts from ancient unicorns. Atlas gave Odin an out from his mundane life as a trophy child of the wealthy Starswirl family. When Odin started tutoring two unicorn fillies with promising skills in arcane magics, Atlas was the first of Odin's friends he introduced them to (the fillies lovingly started referring to the stallions as their honorary uncles). When Atlas accidentally used too much sticking potion in a prank and stuck one of his teachers to the side of the school for three days, Odin helped him sneak into the Starswirl mansion to hide, scolding him between laughs the whole way. They each saw more in each other than the average pony could ever see; Odin was more than a prodigy, and Atlas was more than an annoyance.

And if there were, perhaps, by some miracle, some hint of... romance beneath their friendship that neither side would admit to, well. That was their own business. If they enjoyed cuddling up on the couch to read from the same book, nopony needed to know. If they relished each "accidental" brush of hooves or tails when they walked together, nopony would be any the wiser. If Odin longed for the day when Atlas would use those strong forearms of his to pin the stallion against the nearest wall and just kiss him already, and felt more alive than he'd ever felt in his life when Atlas finally did...

Then maybe that was just fine. And for a while, it was. But there was always that itch at the back of Atlas's mind, that knowledge that their relationship was fleeting, because it was all, in truth, based on a lie. If Odin found out who Atlas really was, what Atlas really was, it would all crumble to pieces like a biscuit that had been left out in the sun. Atlas... no, Discord hated that the thought of losing Odin-- a simple pony whose life was a speck of dust in his immortal existence, who would be a pile of ashes in the ground before Discord had even had his second molt-- made him so unreasonably upset. He'd known going into this that becoming invested in the lives of the ponies in Equestria was foolish. He'd never meant for it to get this far. He'd come here to futz with the government a bit, maybe start a few riots or terrorize a few queens. He never wanted to find Odin. So why wasn't he willing to let him go?

Shit, he really was in too deep.

And yet, Atlas and Odin found themselves ever-so-slowly, but ever-so-surely falling in love.

But nothing gold can stay.

Odin had always known Atlas was a bit of an anarchist. It was one of the things he admired about the stallion-- his ability to let go of the norms that Equestria had built for itself and be his own pony. The problem was that Atlas seemed to have a problem with how Equestria treated creatures who weren't ponies. Griffons, yaks, kirin, and the like. Equestria had never been a big trading country, or a big socializing-with-other-nations country. They kept to themselves. Of course, this meant that xenophobia was rampant, and that the fear of the outside world was instilled into the hearts of almost every pony there. But why should Atlas care so much?

Odin asked him as much when the two stallions were studying together in Odin's room, and Atlas became noticeably more tense. He gave Odin a simple "I just think it's wrong," hoping to avoid the subject, but Odin pressed him for more details. Sure, Equestria was problematic, but all in all, it was a good country. Was there really anything so bad about wanting to keep it the way it was? Atlas tried to keep himself from snapping, tried to keep himself from saying something he'd regret, but hearing these things from a pony he loved hurt him deeply.

"It's not about tradition or preservation, Odin. It's about the fact that Equstria has never been willing to change. Before the unifications of the species, it was conflict between the pony species. After, it was conflict between the classes. Now, it's conflict between countries. Just because the problems are external doesn't mean they aren't there," Atlas told him.

"But it isn't exactly a pressing matter. It hardly effects us at all. I guess I just don't understand," Odin replied.

"Of course you don't."

It was said so quietly that Odin couldn't quite tell if he'd been meant to hear it, yet with such venom that he couldn't ignore it. He chanced a confused look and a "What?"

Atlas stood. "Of course you don't," he repeated. "You're the perfect example of a high-class, magically advanced, want-for-nothing unicorn pony. You're perfectly content to live in your little bubble of mediocrity, never trying to do anything to change the world around you. You think there's nothing you can do to help others, so you don't even try. You think they'll sort themselves out. You're complacent, Odin. You've always been."

"Complacent! And just what is wrong with that? I'm doing my best in my own life and I have no responsibility to try and fix the lives of others! Is it so wrong to focus on myself?"

"Of course not! But you can't just pretend that you're the only one with problems! I see it every day, Odin. You act like you're on top of the world, like you're above feeling sorry for others. You don't even care about them. About me!"

Odin looked hurt. "Atlas, I-- of course I care about you! You mean everything to me!"

"And just how much would it take to change that? Telling you my real name isn't Atlas? Telling you I'm not from Equestria? Telling you I look like this?!"

In a flash, Atlas removed all the disguise spells he had on himself, leaving him-- Discord-- in his true form. A long, sleek body covered in brown fur. The misshapen head of a goat, framed by a shaggy black mane and two short horns. Wings, legs, and a tail that had all been taken from different animals, stuck together like a gruesome collage. Odin's eyes trailed up the creature's body slowly, trying and failing to comprehend what he was seeing. He began to back up.

Discord could feel each step he took like knives driving into his heart. Odin was afraid.

The draconequus scoffed. "You're all the same."

"A-Atlas, I..."

"Discord. My name is Discord. I am a draconequus from the tribe of the western Badlands, sent to Equestria to study its magic. When I first came here, I was avoided like the plague. Ponies wanted nothing to do with me. They saw what they were told to see in me-- a monster. A hideous, murderous, blood-thirsty monster. They threw me out because I was different."

Odin was silent for a long moment. When he finally spoke, his voice trembled. "I think I n-need some time to... to process all of this. Alone."

Discord couldn't have stopped the pain he felt from showing on his face if he'd somehow managed to summon all the magic on the planet. He gritted his teeth, blinked back tears, and disappeared in a shower of sparks.

It was the last conversation he would have with Odin for a millennium.

That night, Odin lay in bed, his mind racing, working overtime to try and figure out what in Tartarus had just happened. Firstly, he and Atlas had just had their first real lovers' spat. Except that those typically didn't lead to one of the ponies involved revealing that he was a creature from a faraway land, but whatever. Secondly, "Atlas" was a draconequus named Discord. That would take some getting used to, of course, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. Thirdly, Atlas-- who was actually Discord-- had stormed out in a huff without saying goodbye. Well, that's just how things were sometimes. Nothing to lose sleep over.

When he awoke the next morning, the first though this mind supplied him with was, "Oh sweet merciful heavens I've ruined everything." He rushed to school early, hoping to find his friend (Boyfriend? Lover? Shit, I love him and I just cast him out like an old dish towel), but the stallion was nowhere in sight. Odin asked around, tried everything to get into contact with Atlas/Discord, but nothing came up. He had disappeared off the face of the planet.

Instead of dealing with all the emotional turmoil that came with that situation, Odin threw himself into his studies. His magic grew stronger and stronger, fueled by rage and pain and sadness. He pushed Celestia and Luna to become powerful sorcerers like himself, pouring every hour that he didn't spend practicing magic himself into teaching them. He tried to forget about Discord entirely, and move on. He didn't need some handsome bad-boy keeping him sane to be successful. He only needed himself. That was all he would ever need. Odin was gone. There was only the great and honorable Starswirl the Bearded.

When the sirens invaded Equestria, he agreed to help defeat them. When Stygian came to him looking for friendship that Starswirl hadn't even offered to the other "pillars," he turned him away coldly. When he realized the only way to defeat the Pony of Shadows was by sending the seven of them into limbo, he refused, at least at first. But the citizens of Equestria persisted. He was the great Starswirl, he had a duty to protect them and keep Equestria safe. He tried to tell them that the consequences of the spell were too drastic, but they would not listen. Starswirl had no choice but to go through with it.

Discord, meanwhile, had been staying on the outskirts of Equestria, brooding and cursing Odin's name. When he found out that Odin had vanished, however, and the circumstances of his disappearance... well, he wasn't happy. Despite everything, he still loved the idiot, and he had never wanted something so terrible to happen to him. Odin would have never agreed to something like that without being pushed by the Equestrian citizens. What right did they have to decide who lived and who died? Why did they get to sacrifice their most beloved sorcerer for their own safety when there were other options? Was this the price they paid for harmony?

That wouldn't do. That simply wouldn't do at all. If these pitiful excuses for equines thought the pony of shadows was a threat to their delicate balance, he would show them true chaos. He dethroned the country's leader, took over, and made the ponies of Equestria suffer like he did.

And then Celestia and Luna came along. When had they gotten so big? So powerful? How had they grown wings? Were they seriously going to try and take him down? Lulu and Celly, the sweet little fillies who had once made him flower crowns and taught him songs and invited him to tea parties. They were going to try and make him surrender. How adorable. He wasn't going to fight them, of course-- he still held a great affection for them, no matter how long he'd been gone. He would let them do their little song and dance, and them send them on their way.

Of course it was hard for the sisters, too. They had looked up to Discord back in the day, he and Starswirl both. Now they were using the magic that Starswirl had taught them to defeat someone he had once loved. Someone he probably still loved. But freedom is never free, and the sisters were resigned to their fate. They harnessed the power of the elements of harmony, turned Discord to stone, and hoped silently that someday, somehow, he would return to them, and he and Starswirl would find each other again.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Trying to Hold On

Summary: You’re determined to get Natasha back.

Warning: Angst 

Part 2

******

It’s lost on you how long you sit on your couch staring at the framed picture of you and Natasha on your coffee table.

Even though you’re aware of all the time you spent with Wanda, you can’t place when exactly it had become too much for Natasha.

After having dated secretly for two years the woman was ready to introduce you to her team despite your anxiety at doing so. Even though they all seemed like great people, your introverted self had no plans to seek out a close friendship with any of them, figuring you’d see them whenever Natasha took you to the compound.

She’s the one who encouraged you to keep talking to Wanda. Apparently the brunette had mentioned how nice you were to your girlfriend and Natasha took that and ran with it, telling you that you and Wanda would be good friends and it wouldn’t hurt to get close with her teammate.

Now she’s more than upset with you because you’re doing what she wanted you to do.

You wipe your tears and sit up.

It’s not right to even remotely blame Natasha. This was all your doing. 

At the time you didn’t give it much thought. It was just you and Wanda hanging out, nine times out of ten you were talking about Natasha. But that doesn’t matter. All that matters now is getting your girlfriend back.

Knowing that she’s still upset and might be for a while you give it a day and a half. It would’ve been two but the emptiness of your bed, and apartment in general, was becoming too much already. Not waking up with Natasha hurt and you’re not willing to let that happen any longer.

You take a much needed shower and caffeinate yourself before leaving out. 

On the way to the compound you stop and buy a bouquet of Natasha’s favorite flowers: peonies.

Luckily for you the gate is open, saves you the possibility of being turned away before you’ve even tried.

Surprisingly, it seems pretty damn empty when you step up into the living quarters of the facility. You aren’t even sure if this is where Natasha is but it’s what you have to start with.

“Uh hello?” You call from the front door.“ Any Avengers present? I’m looking for Natasha.”

Nerves rush through your system when you realize how incredibly stupid this was. They’re the Avengers and you pop up? There is no stopping a vibranium shield or repulsor beam should they see you as a threat. 

“Damnit FRIDAY what did I say about letting fans in.” The familiar voice of Tony Stark greets you and you tense.

The billionaire, while intimidating enough, is very close with Natasha. Everyone is, if they know that you hurt her there’s a chance they’ll kick your ass. 

“Not a fan. Well, I am, but um I’m Natasha’s-” shoulders dropping you realize how untrue that may be,“ I hope I’m still her girlfriend.” 

Tony comes closer, his frown clear,“ oooohh, the girlfriend. Y/N right? Natasha didn’t tell anyone you were coming by.”

So she didn’t say anything.

“Y/N.” Wanda’s voice joins and you quickly look over at her.

“Hey Wan, do you know where Natasha is?” 

“She didn’t stay with you last night?” 

“No, we ended up fighting and she left.” You say dejectedly.

Tony sucks in a breath through clenched teeth,“ explains why she didn’t come back last night.”

Your gaze snaps to him,“ she isn’t here?” 

With a shake of his head he leaves, telling you he hopes things work out before he’s gone. 

Wanda steps closer to you,“ was your fight because of me?”

“No.” You’re quick to say.“ Not at all. It was mainly about me being a shitty girlfriend. I wasn’t spending enough time with her and not thinking at all about how she would feel if I spent so much time with you.”

Your friend offers to cheer you up and brainstorm a plan to apologize but you decline, instead heading back to your empty apartment where you dial Natasha. 

Of course she doesn’t answer, nor does she respond to the text(s) you send. 

In fact it’s silent on her end for the next week. 

You pushed through your worry and heartbreak long enough to get through your work days only to immediately repark your ass on the sofa and try contacting her again. On top of phone calls and texts you’d had a couple dozen flowers sent to the compound, as well as a giant stuffed Bunny.

Tony is probably annoyed with you but you have a bigger fish to fry. 

Today you decide to just go there. It’s been over a week and you two need to talk. Even if she isn’t there you plan to find out where she is.

You two have to figure this out. Even if she doesn’t forgive you, the both of you need closure on what this means.

When you get to the compound this time the gate is closed so you have to buzz in. It’s Tony who let’s you through.

“Kid the big bunny was genius.” Is the first thing he says to you, giving his fingers a chef’s kiss.

“I figured you’d be annoyed with all the stuff I was sending.” 

He waves you off,“ nah, I’ve done way more for Pepper. This barely scratching the surface.”

“Oh, okay. Um, Natasha isn’t here by chance is she?” 

“No she,” his eyebrows raise,“ is right there actually.”

You turn to follow where he’s pointing to see Natasha walking into the compound. Her name isn’t even out of your mouth before she’s shouldering past you.

This isn’t going to be easy, not that you were counting on that.

Smiling gratefully at Tony, you take off after Natasha. The woman moves quick when she wants to.

“I know you’re mad but making me run is just cruel.” You huff, having to jog to keep up with her.

You make a note in your head to get in shape.

“Natasha for fuck sake just listen to me and stop being so goddamn stubborn.” 

She reels on you, effectively stopping you in your tracks,“ I’m just here to pack and bag and go. I didn’t ask you to come here so you can leave.”

“You didn’t ask but you haven’t responded to my calls or texts. You could’ve just told me you were oaky at least. And I’m not leaving because we need to talk, just hear me out. I-”

The woman goes to walk away but you aren’t having it.

Being the idiot that you are, you grab the highly trained assassin by the arm and push her against the wall, only for her to grab your hand, get out of your hold, and slam you into the wall. 

There’s definitely going to be a bruise on your cheek but you don’t care.

“If you want to beat me up fine,” you speak despite your face being smushed into the surface,“ but at least listen to me first.” 

Her grip barely loosens, only enough to let you adjust your face so your words aren’t muffled.

“Natasha sorry obviously isn’t enough but I don’t know how else to express it. I know now how shitty of me it was to seemingly put Wanda before you but that was never the case. You always are and will always be my number one priority, I just, well, you know I don’t have friends, not real ones anyway and you’re my first real relationship, I didn’t know how to handle that at first.” 

Finally she lets you go, moving herself to the other side of the hallway but not leaving. You take a deep breath and turn around to face her.

“Look, I didn’t realize how much it was hurting you to see me spending so much time with Wanda. To my defense you never said anything and you told me you weren’t the jealous type so-”

She interrupts,“ that doesn’t give you the right to flirt with some other girl.”

“No but it doesn’t help my cluelessness either. Besides we never flirted, ever. Mine and Wanda’s relationship never stepped outside of platonic. Tasha half the time we were talking about you. With how much I love you and how much Wanda looks up to you there was barely room for any other topic.”

Her green eyes roll,“ so you two in the kitchen the night I got back. You were laughing at me?”

“Yes.” No point in lying, she’s already mad at you.“ I was missing you like crazy so she came over to keep me company until you got back and gave me the idea to fix you dinner. We started joking about how bad of a cook you are and hadn’t even started the meal before you showed up.” 

When she doesn’t reply, instead watching you, you get a bit hopeful.

Only for her to walk away. Instead of giving up, you follow after her.

“Tasha please, you can be made all you want but don’t throw our relationship away over one stupid mistake I made. You’re the best thing that’s ever-” 

Her sudden halt in movement has you crashing into her firm back. As opposed to her stumbling forward you stumble back. The woman’s practically a wall of muscle, one of the many things you adore about her body.

Whatever she mumbles, you don’t hear it. She steps further into the room and turns to you. The look on her face makes you frown and follow after.

Every bouquet you bought sits in a glass vase covering every surface of her room, and the big bunny you bought sits in the corner of her bed. 

This isn’t how you planned it to look, not by a long shot, but it seems Tony just put all the stuff you’d ordered for her in here. It leaves the room looking like one big romantic gesture.

“Did you do this?” She asks you.

“No. Not really. I mean I bought this stuff but I had nothing to do with this set up, admittedly I should have, it looks much better than it does in my head. Actually I thought you’d been throwing the flowers away but you weren’t here and so-”

Despite still being a little mad at you, the woman can’t fight the bemused smile on her face,“ you’re such a dork.” She chuckles.

You stop your rambling to look at her. Seeing that smile you love so much on her lips makes you smile. With this better mood you try one more time.

Stepping closer, you grab her hands,“ I never meant to make you feel less important than Wanda or like I didn’t care because I do, I care so much, and I love you more than I could ever speak to. My actions hurt you and I’m so so sorry for that but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you just give me a chance. Just one.”

Her silence is unsettling. The hairs on your arms stand up in your nervousness. 

“That’s not necessary.” She shakes her head,“ I shouldn’t have overreacted. You did hurt me and I was jealous of the time you spent with Wanda but I never should’ve even implied you were cheating on me.”

“Wait so you forgive me?”

Natasha can’t help but roll her eyes.“ Yes and I’m also apologizing.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” You waste no time in pulling her into your arms.“ Just promise to communicate with me. I genuinely had no idea you felt the way you did.”

The woman hold you close, arms wrapping around you as she buries her face in the crook of your neck,“ I promise.”

“God I missed you.” You speak into her hair.“ I am never letting you go again.” 

******

taglist: @wildhoney32 @thelastavenger-3000 @fayhar

[brinconvenient]

Green Egg and Fam

You know what? I'm just gonna go ahead and do this...

So a few years back, I was talking to another trans woman who is very familiar with the DC Universe and we were trying to figure out who is Actually An Egg, and after a few suggestions back and forth, I galaxy-brained the answer. She heartily agreed and we talked about it a bit: 1. Artsy 2. Serial Monogamist who is a Relationship Disaster (Big "Do I want to Be With Her, or Be Her?" energy) 3. Becomes best friends with every ex-girlfriend 4. Noted Respecter of Women in Very Terrible and Awkward Ways 5. Chronically allergic to self-reflection and introspection, but also addicted to it in much the same way lactose intolerant people talk about how they can't give up cheese. 6. Just a complete and Utter Messy Agent of Chaos. 7. All too willing to adopt Other People's Expectations and internalize them as a Sacred Duty. 8. Just constantly Marked By Tragedy - both external and self-created.

It's Kyle Rayner, kids.

Torchbearer,

Honor Lantern,

Erstwhile Ion/avatar of the power of will

Kyle "I will be the Last of the Green Lanterns and yet keep trying to ressurect this entire Corps of Space Cops that I didn't even know existed until some Blue Dude showed up to give me jewelry and I guess marry me into the Corps? Because I guess that's just my job now and that will become my whole personality" Rayner.

After the conversation, this - the only fanfic I have literally ever written popped out of my head fully formed. It's intended to really be Chapter 1 of Several which are basically conversations between Kyle and one Ex-Girlfriend per chapter as Kyle finally accepts herself and transitions.

Eventually she reveals that the name "Ion" comes from her real name "ImOgeN" because she read Nevada and Was Impacted and she's just that extra.

But, honestly, despite getting started on the Alex chapter ages ago, I never have drawn the energy to go back and finish and/or write more, so I'm just gonna share the first chapter of what I am calling:

"Green Egg and Fam"

Putting the actual content behind the Read More because I've already rambled too long.

“It’s just exhausting, you know? Every few years it seems like I have to pick up the pieces of my life, my memory, my self and figure out who the hell I am! Every time I get a handle on things, someone or something comes along and shakes up the snow globe,y’know? I’ve tried to talk to Diana about it and, like, she’s compassionate and cares and offers sympathy, but most of the time, my whole relationship with her is just one more flake in the globe and I never know who we’re going to be to each other. Somehow, though, you’re always my favorite ex-boyfriend. It’s weird, right?”

Kyle patted Donna’s arm reassuringly. He glanced from Donna’s face to the view over Lake Michigan. There was no more beautiful view of the lakeshore than the roof of the John Hancock Building. He could just about make out the lights of the small shore towns across the lake in Michigan, and he could see the industrial Indiana towns along the round tip of the lake.

“I’m not positive I like that descriptor of our relationship, but I am happy to be some kind of constant for you,” he said with a rueful smile. “Donna, you are one of my dearest friends and I always want to be here for you. I know you didn’t need my help with Dr. Psycho here, but I’m glad I was Earthside to help you out anyway.”

They’d taken the diminutive psychic menace to the Chicago Special Crimes Unit, who had training and facilities for telepaths and telekinetics. They found this perch when Donna said she just needed a little bit to settle down before heading back to the Titans Tower in New York.

“No, I had him just about handled - a Lasso of Persuasion is pretty useful, after all - but I’m glad you swung through, all the same,” Donna said. “I’m glad to have a friend here. Psycho was really messing with my head this time. He kept dredging through my memory, pulling out bits and pieces of lives lived and people lost. He made me relive the loss of Terry and Robert and Jenny, over and over, replayed the tortures of Dark Angel, dragged me through that whole mess with the Titans of Myth, and I’m actually not sure which of any of those actually happened in this reality anymore.”

Donna’s breath was getting ragged and tears were falling down her face, twinkling in the moonlight.

“You told me about Terry and the kids when we were dating, so since I still remember them, they must still have existed and they still loved you and you still got to love them. I’m a little fuzzy on the Titans of Myth, so I can’t be sure about that stuff. But you’re here now and that’s what’s important right now. Just take a sec to enjoy this moment, this view, this night and see how you feel, ok?” he said.

They sat in the quiet, next to each other, watching the waves reflect and distort the moonbeams. Donna’s breathing calmed down and she straightened her back, half a head taller than Kyle even while sitting.

“Thank you, Kyle. I’ll be ok now, I think. I appreciate you listening. You have a good heart. If you’d only learn to actually fight without that ring, you’d make a pretty decent Amazon. Well … if you weren’t a man, of course.”

Kyle coughed and thanked the stars that Donna couldn’t see him blush. Suddenly Kyle felt like there was lava beneath his skin and he couldn’t sit comfortably.

He didn’t want Donna to catch on, so he stifled his squirming and whipped up a quick construct of a miniature green Kyle in an Amazonian uniform, breastplate, Spartan skirt and calf boots. For added effect he made sure to widen his shoulders and used Hal Jordan as a reference for a jaw far more square than Kyle’s real life chin.

“I’m not sure I can pull off the uniform. Guess I’ll stick with green and black for now. Ha!” he said. He hoped it didn't sound as forced as it felt.

“Oh I don’t know. You’ve got great legs, Kyle! Maybe you should start wearing shorts when in uniform. Besides, you had those over-the-knee boots for the longest time. I think you’d be just fine!” Donna said, laughing.

“Give me a hug, Dick just texted me to meet him in Blüdhaven. Take care and fly safe back to Oa!” she said.

After a quick, warm embrace, she turned eastward and flew off over the lake. Kyle watched her fly out of sight. He looked down and saw little Amazon Kyle, slowly spinning in the air. He drew the construct up to eye level and returned the shoulders and jaw back to his more slender and softer reality. It didn’t look that bad actually.

He’d been trying to make Donna smile, and deflect from … something before, so he exaggerated those features to highlight the incongruence, but he didn’t hate this more realistic image.

He continue to finesse the construct’s features. Like most artists, he never really considered a piece finished, he just stopped working on it. He smoothed the musculature, narrowed the shoulders a little further, pulled the hips out just a bit more, and left the waist alone. The ersatz Kyle’s face got softer still, the brow less pronounced, the nose narrower, the chin just a bit more rounded. He watched the chest muscles soften and breasts form to fill out the breastplate better.

Finally, he lengthened the construct’s hair to shoulder length, adding some wave and curls like Donna’s somehow-always-perfect hair.

And there she was. The woman who’d been haunting Kyle’s dreams as long as he could remember. Slowly spinning in the air was a woman who could easily have been Kyle’s sister, wearing Amazonian garb (or at least what he remembered from seeing Donna’s while they were dating so many years ago).

He didn’t know how much time had passed since he started fiddling with the image, and he didn’t know how long he’d spent staring at the final form. Sister. Yeah, right.

With an angry wave he flashed his hand through the construct, dissolving and dispersing the light particles that he’d given form. He hastily looked around the roof to make sure no one had seen him or, specifically, seen the construct. The burning sensation of shame returned instantly and he immediately flew into the sky until the buildings looked like so many light-speckled building blocks.

He took himself through a calming exercise he learned from Kilowog to help him center himself and sling his ring “like he wasn’t a complete Poozer and deserved to wear it.” Kilowog had no appreciation for just how hard it was for other people to feel calm when he was around. Still, Kyle found it helped when the pink giant wasn’t breathing down his neck.

“My will is strong enough to carry the torch for the entire Green Lantern Corps, I can stop these feelings. I can make all of these thoughts go away. I can stop this. I’ve got too much responsibility to keep indulging this … this nonsense” he thought, trying to ignore the sting of the tears fighting their way free to fall down his face, ignore the pain in his heart.

“I don’t want to lose my friends - what would Donna say? Would she think I was a pervert, or making fun of her somehow? I definitely don’t want to lose Hal’s and the guys’ respect. I don’t want to lose my whole life just because I’m some kind of freak. Get it together, Rayner. No one else is feeling sorry for themselves because they don’t fit in.”

He pulled a hand down his face and pointed his right fist with it’s gaudy, shining green ring on the middle finger toward the Milky Way and flew into space. He hoped the cold solitude of the transluminal conduits would help him regain his composure before he faced Guy, Hal, John and Kilowog for the Honor Lantern meeting. For the millionth time, he wished he could just be more like them, have just a sliver of their easy and effortless masculinity. They made it look so simple.

“Bet they don’t spend half their life trying to figure out what is wrong with them,” he thought. He tried so hard not to envy them, but it was really hard sometimes.

Especially nights like tonight where his resolve had failed him yet again and he gave in to his most hidden thoughts. He entered the transluminal conduit between Saturn and Jupiter and closed his eyes.

He traveled faster than light, but it still took time to reach Oa, so he tried to sleep and hoped that his dreams wouldn’t betray him again.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Klobuchar on trustbusting

When Amy Klobuchar introduced her Competition and Antitrust Law Enforcement Reform Act (CALERA), I called it a "big fucking deal," because it would do away with Ronald Reagan and Robert Bork's "consumer welfare" standard for antitrust action.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/06/calera/#fuck-bork

Prior to the Reagan years, US courts and prosecutors went after monopolies because monopolies were considered harmful on their own - they gathered too much power into too few hands, to the detriment of workers, suppliers, the environment, policy, and consumer pricing.

But Robert Bork - a Nixonite criminal whose actions were so odious the Senate refused to confirm him for the Supreme Court - promoted a bizarre Qanon-like theory that if you looked hard enough at the laws, that's not what they said at all.

Rather, the US's four antitrust statutes were *only* concerned with harms to "consumer welfare" (higher prices), and these harms could only be predicted or proven through the use of mathematical models that only Bork and his friends at the University of Chicago could interpret.

They established themselves as a kind of priesthood: whenever a merger was contemplated or a post-merger company raised prices, the priests would slaughter an ox (make a model) and read the truth in its guts.

Only they were qualified to perform this ritual and they never found a monopoly they didn't like.

This was *obviously* a scam - and equally obvious was the fact that US antitrust law unambiguously is not limited to "consumer welfare."

But replacing muscular antitrust with "consumer welfare" meant that rich people could get much, much richer by creating monopolies. Huge sums were spent to propagate this all over the world, including in places where the law was even clearer, like the UK.

This is laid out beautifully in Michelle Meagher's COMPETITION IS KILLING US, which traces the spread of this ideology in the UK and EU.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/08/competition-is-killing-us/#borked

Now, hot on the heels of historic Senate antitrust hearings, Klobuchar has published her own book on the antitrust fight, ANTITRUST: TAKING ON MONOPOLY POWER FROM THE GILDED AGE TO THE DIGITAL AGE, which comes out today:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/586000/antitrust-by-amy-klobuchar/

Klobuchar spoke with Nilay Patel for The Verge's Decoder podcast about the book; it was a long interview and they transcribed it. It's got some great nuggets (though to be frank, it's a little rambling in text and could use some abridgement).

https://www.theverge.com/2021/4/27/22404493/amy-klobuchar-interview-antitrust-book-hearings-big-tech

A couple areas that really struck me: first, Klobuchar's reminder that monopoly isn't a tech phenomenon, that it extends to "pharma and ag and everything," and that blocking mergers and reversing Borkism in every sector is key to fighting monopoly.

And Patel pushes Klobuchar on this, pointing out that while there's a bipartisan consensus in the Senate and Congress on trustbusting, that consensus does NOT extend to killing the "consumer welfare" standard - Republicans want to bust trusts, but keep this rule intact.

In other words, the GOP wants to fight monopolies selectively, where their constituents care about them, but not create a broad antitrust system that fights monopolies wherever they form.

So Chuck Grassley will fight ag monopolies to score points with Iowa farmers, Josh Hawley will fight social media so that lies about election fraud can spread unchecked, but that's as far as they go - they're fine with monopolies that afflict people who don't vote for them.

Patel tries to press Klobuchar on this point a couple of times, but Klobuchar evades the question, which is a pity.

I mean, I think there are lots of ways to address this.

For example, she could say, "Once we curb monopoly in a giant industry like ag or tech, it will prime the American people to keep fighting monopolies and make GOP fairweather trustbusters look like assholes."

This is what I tell people who correctly point out that some of the antitrust energy against Google is astroturf from Comcast and AT&T: "Sure, but if they think that success in curbing Google will mean *less* appetite to slay Big Telco, they're in for a hell of a surprise!"

As to Klobuchar's book: the interview interested me enough that I've ordered a copy, in part because I wanted to get a look at the "over 100 cartoons" from Gilded Age newspapers editorializing against monopolies from the last century.

[ayyyez]

ez could i request headcanons for a first date with tamaki and kiri :) i love u

a/n: absolutely peach my love, thank you for being the first to request some bnha headcanons 💖 I love both of these boys so much 💖 warnings: none

Amajiki Tamaki

Ah this boy panics the instant the date is set. He begins jumping from idea to idea for the location and them falls into his regular pessimistic cycle thinking about how the date is going to bomb before he even makes a plan.

Mirio sets him straight and gives him a confidence boost. After they have a long talk they decide the best way to make him panic less and be as comfortable as possible would be to do something lowkey. 

He ends up taking you to the park on a sunny day when there are food stalls around. He gets there waaaaaay too early. Like an hour early. Panics he got the time wrong. Checks his phone 4 times with the confirmation text. Freaks thinking you won’t show but swallows all the down and sits on a park bench (the chosen meeting spot). 

His eyes practically light up when he sees you arrive 15 minutes before the time you were supposed to meet. If you smile and wave at him (call his name) he calms a little. This meant you wanted to be on this date with him. Good. No, THANK GOD. 

A little jittery at first. Kind of mumbles about going for a walk. He shakes a little when you ask him to repeat because you didn’t catch it. Then he manages to say it louder and out practically beam. His heart skips a beat because that smile is for him. (okay he can do this.) 

The two of you walk around the park and he tries so hard to think of something to say. You come to his rescue and start making conversation. “I heard the foodstalls around here a good!” Tamaki manages a shy smile. “Yeah, I wanted to try them...with you.” This boy is a sweetheart okay. 

By the time the two of you get to the stalls he has a little more confidence and asks what you want to try first. His eyes are glued on the seafood stall when he goes. You pick up on that and point to it. “I think I want to try that one.” He turns to you a little surprised but then smiles. “Oh, me too.” (you know that). 

The two of you continue going from stall to stall and you keep asking him questions. He wants so badly to return the favour but most he can manage is a “what about you?” but you can tell he is interested. Tamaki is really good at observing and listening so he prefers to hear what you have to say then talk about himself. 

Tread gently around pushing to hard about himself, start of gently by asking some questions and he will eventually open up on his own. He wants to tell you lots of things but he feels far to vulnerable on the first date - it will come later. 

The thing with Tamaki is to even get to this point of a first date the two of you would have to of been friends first with a fair bit of contact. Otherwise he would have had no courage to go on this date. Actually when he went to ask you he couldn’t get it out so you ended up asking him. But you left it to him to pick the place (you knew he wanted to ask you but couldn’t wait any longer). 

Once the two of you have eaten your fill he doesn’t know what he should do. Should he end the date there and retreat home? He felt kind of hot being around you so long. He had liked you for a very long time and couldn’t imagine he would ever had gotten this far. he’s in a dream. 

It has to be you who suggests continuing the day. He probably follow you anywhere but you can tell he is pushing himself already. You suggest sitting beneath the shade of the tree for awhile. 

He sits against the trunk, loosely hugging his legs while you lie on the grass, looking up at the leaves of the tree. He is looking at you, not directly, he doesn’t want to be caught but his gaze lingers by you enough to see your face. Your expressions makes him feel warm and fluttery inside. He loves your face. 

You talk familiar things. UA and your friends. The delicious food from the stand. You ask about his quirk. He asks about yours. It’s nice, casual and exactly what Tamaki needs to think this is going well. (it is). 

When it comes to part ways you give him the warmest smile “I can’t wait for the next date.” Tamaki felt his heart race. Another date. That was good. You wanted to see him again. Wait had he heard you correct? Was his mind running off with a fantasy. 

“I’ll text you tonight, okay?” You insisted and he nodded, his cheeks blushing vibrantly. You were going to message him. You were going to go out with him again. Tamaki walked home in a daze that day and his cheeks didn’t cool down for a looooong time lol. 

Kirishima Eijiro

This boy asks you out. And when he does he comes across as super confident, maybe a little bashful but trust me, inside he is a nervous wreck because this is you! The person he likes! He feels unworthy but he can’t sit on these feelings anymore.

When you agree he is the happiest he has been. You like him back? Amazing! Starts planning the date immediately while constantly texting you ideas. Bare with him, he’s excited okay. You gotta make him chill though or he will NEVER decide. 

The ultimate decider is you messaging “Hey, let’s do this one first and then we have plenty more dates after to do the rest.” You don’t see it but he blushes hard with the BIGGEST smile when he reads it. Queue smashing his face into the pillow he is lying on. He likes you a lot okay. 

You ended up settling on bbq and arcade date. (he loves his meat okay and honestly seeing his eyes shine over it is a reward in itself). Surprisingly though he doesn’t eat as much as usual. He’s still enthusiastic about it but the boy is nervous! Smile the whole time but also chock full of adrenaline and a little jittery. Wants to go go go! 

He talks a lot. Like a lot a lot. He can’t seem to stop. Sometimes you don’t even get an answer but god he is just so cute when he is nervous lol. He’s this giant ball of energy. When he stops to shovel food in your mouth it’s you chance to get a word in. 

Now don’t get me wrong, he would never talk over the top of you (and he doesn’t) but when it’s his turn to talk he can’t seem to stop. The two of you make it through lunch and when he shoots up to leave you can’t help but chuckle. Nothings more complimentary that he’s excited right? Excited to be with you. 

On the way to the arcade though you have to do something. You have to make him chill a little or he is going to explode. Grabbing him by the hand you stop him by the entrance. He looks down at your hand in his and he blushes a little. He chuckles nervously too but before he can ramble again you say his name, stopping him. 

“Hey,” you say softly and with a smile, “I’m nervous too so let’s take our time okay? Don’t run off on me.” Kirishima’s heart = exploded. Heart eyes to the max right here.

He takes a deep breath in and out. “Right!” He smiles and opens the door to the arcade. “Nice and easy.” He mumbles to himself. 

He chills a little more after that. He’s more like himself and letting the conversation flow naturally instead of constantly stimulating it along. Now you get to tease him whenever you win a game. He doesn’t really care about winning but he lives for the banter, especially when you kick his ass in the shooter games. Higher accuracy for the win. Just poke your tongue at him or wink and he’ll melt. 

There two of you are there for hours. Time goes so quickly. It’s dark before the two of you know it. “Damn.” You hear Kirishima say as he notices. “Let’s cash in our tickets.” You suggest. “I’ll use mine to pick out something for you and you do the same for me.” 

The two of you search the small shop, realising despite having lots of tickets it doesn’t buy much. You settle on a small, red punching glove that fits on one finger. He settles on a little key chain of you favourite anime character (omg he remembered you mentioning it?) a very cute boy indeed. 

The two of you bid farewell. “Do I get a chance at a second date?” He asks. You smile and leave him hanging for a moment. “We have to see all those places sometime don’t we?” Okay he can get used to this. 

[ateezmakemeweep]

the 5 times you want mingi to stay + the 1 time he does

fuckbuddy!au

word count: 14k

angst, fluff, smut

funnily enough, the arrangement started on valentine's day.

you and mingi both happened to be at a bar with your friends that night, your separate groups wallowing in self pity in the form of overpriced tequila and body-shots.

meanwhile the both of you sat just two stools away from each other, miserable not because of your relationship status but from the company that came with alcohol and obnoxious, drunken rambles.

those drunk ramblings were, in fact, what sparked everything.

"y/n," your friend had loudly whined, breath reeking of liquor, "it's valentine's day, it's the peeeeerfect day to finally get yourself laid!"

"shhh!" you said, putting your hand over her mouth, "i'd rather the entire bar not hear about my lack of a sex life, if you wouldn't mind."

"oh ple-ease, they can just smell the pent up sexual frustration on you," she said and your cheeks flamed red. you didn't even have any time to chastise her before she sauntered over to the tall, dark-haired boy a few seats away and started talking animatedly.

mingi was minding his own business when a girl stumbled up to him, her slurred words telling him that she had a friend who was very much so in much need of a "valentine's day fuck" and he would've laughed if she didn't point you out, looking so embarrassed and shy and ready to bolt.

girls had been coming up to him all night, batting their eyelashes and offering him drinks while he all but sneered at them before they finally got the hint and fucked off.

but you. he liked the pureness, liked that you looked like you didn't belong here and especially liked that maybe you could be his distraction tonight.

and a distraction you were. you two talked for the four hours your friends stayed at the bar and got inebriated, two of them coincidently hooking up in the bathroom and then getting an uber home together.

you discussed everything and nothing, talking and laughing and smiling the entire time.

he played the nice boy for most of the night, told you about how hard he works at his job, how his friends could be obnoxious assholes but he loves them like family, how he secretly enjoys just lounging around the house and watching movies.

he also seemed interested in you, asking about your interests and schooling and childhood and it really seemed as if he was intrigued, watching you talk with soft, attentive eyes and a pretty, contagious laugh.

(of course he failed to tell you how easily he moved on from girl to girl, straight up about his intentions but kissing and licking and fucking every part of them so well that they were always left begging for more).

when you saw your friends were winding down towards the end of the night, getting a last round of waters and calling for ubers, you swallowed the nervous knot in your throat and asked him for his number.

you knew you shouldn't have, knew he was actually bad news by the way his eyes would occasionally roam over you, how his tongue would slowly lick his lips when he watched you speak and how he so openly joked that he would take your friend's offer in a second if you were willing.

you also knew, positively knew, you shouldn't have when he took your face in his giant hand and mumbled, "you had me on my best behavior tonight, y/n. but any other night... you should know i only answer for one thing."

and when those words left his mouth, something burned deep inside you. something longing and yearning and enticed enough for you to smile up at him and put your number in his outreached phone.

he smirked at you before standing up, leaning over to place a peck on your cheek.

"hope to hear from you soon, little one," he said before gathering his herd of loud friends and heading out the door without a single glance back.

1. 03/04/19

the first time you texted mingi, you feared he wouldn't remember who you were nor recall the offer your friend so graciously handed to him on valentine's day that served as your lousy opening message.

but to your surprise, and utter delight, he did. even answered with a short response of:

about time, y/n. address?

he walked in your apartment a few hours later looking just as attractive and tall as you remembered. you already felt your heart start to race and palms start to sweat but you wanted this.

you hadn't been able to stop thinking about much you wanted him, hadn't been able to get his face or his voice or his entire being out of your mind since valentine's day.

and so you finally caved. after one particularly rough week of drama with friends, stressful school work and, frankly, just getting tired of the burning in your core, you texted him.

you guys were making out on your couch, the movie now just noise in the background when his hand slipped under your t-shirt. he hummed against your lips at your bare chest, skin soft and warm and inviting.

"no bra?" he mumbles in your ear, voice deep and teasing, "you were just waiting here all ready for me, weren't you?"

his thumb brushes over your nipple and you bite into your lower lip, a strangled moan slipping out that has his cock hardening in his pants.

"a moan just from that, baby? when was the last time you were fucked, huh?"

he feels you stiffen underneath him and he pulls back immediately, hand still resting on you while he looks down at you questioningly. he sees the hesitance in your eyes, maybe even a twinge of shyness or embarrassment, and his hand leaves from your under your shirt.

"little one, have you been fucked?"

the nickname has you squeezing your legs together and he tries so hard to ignore it, finding himself now torn because he knows you deserve better for your first time. deserve someone who could properly love and cherish and take care of you, not someone like him whose desire is heightening from the mere fact that he'll be the first man you're with. that from here on out, you'll only have him to compare others to.

with a little shake of your head, he licks his dry lips and stares down at you intensely, taking a deep breath before asking if you're sure you still wanna do this with him.

"of course, it's not a big deal," you tell him softly, "i just...it should've happened by now and i just...i want to..." you stutter before confessing, "i'm more than ready to get it over with."

because the whole idea that your first time has to be special and magical kind of goes out the window when you're a legal adult in the presence of a man like this.

he thinks, if he were a better person, he would've asked one more time if you were absolutely sure but because he is who he is, and you're looking up at him the way you are with arousal and heat in your eyes, he picks you up and carries you toward the bedroom.

he lays you out, strips you from the rest of your clothes and works his fingers and tongue on your clit for what feels like hours. alternating from long licks to small circles with his thumb to his tongue lapping so skillfully against your slit until he's easily sliding two fingers in you. he watches you come apart for the first time, hot mouth right between your legs as he continues to pound his fingers in and out of you.

your mouth hangs open, fingers threading through his hair and trembling legs on either side of his head as you feel the deep knot in your lower stomach start to quickly unravel. you come with a moan and then more and more when he enters you inch by inch, so so slowly because he doesn't wanna hurt you and taint your first time even more but you're just so tight around him and he's gonna lose his mind at the feeling of your clenching.

"you're so fucking tight, baby," his low voice says in your ear as he barely starts to pick up his slowed pace, "this pussy's been waiting for me, hasn't it? you've just been waiting to be fucked by me."

you can only moan louder as a response because you're too embarrassed and out of your element but also so turned on and shaking.

as his pace picks up, as he fucks into you and hits a spot deep inside you, rubbing his finger back over your clit, he grits out "this is my pussy from here on out, do you hear me?"

you simply moan again but he slows his pace, taking his finger off you and you shoot your head up to look at him in distress.

"answer me," he growls, "this is my pussy now, right?"

"yes," you yelp out and you would've responded the same way if he said the sky was green because you just don't want him to stop.

"yes what?" he says, thrusting a tad faster but refusing to touch your aching clit.

"yes, this is your...your pussy," you say and even fucked out, the words feel awkward and foreign leaving your mouth. but you have to say them because the pleasure he's giving you outweighs your virgin politics and inexperience.

"that's a good baby," he says and he puts his finger back on your clit, still refusing to move it, just holds it there tauntingly and you let out a whine that doesn't sound familiar to your pounding ears.

"if you're in the mood to fuck, you call me. do you understand?"

"yes," you moan out.

"no one else fucks this pussy. only me," he says sternly and he can't believe his own ears. he's never the type to do this, never the type to initiate a second hookup let alone completely ban someone else from sleeping with anyone but him.

but he could tell the second he saw you, you were gonna affect him differently.

"yes, just you. you're...you're the only one that's gonna fuck me," you say, breathy and whiney and responsive so he's finally fucking into you again, pace sped up and thumb rubbing over your clit until you're both moaning each other's names, pussy clenching and cock leaking and then he crashes on top of you, boneless and tired but so relieved.

he rolls over onto his back, trying to catch his breath as he feels your sweaty forearms grazing together. the room is silent for a few minutes, heavy breathing and the scent of sex in the air surrounding both of you.

you let out a shaky breath before sitting up, hair tousled over your shoulder with flushed cheeks and he can't help the small smile that covers his face.

"you good?" he mumbles because he's not a complete asshole and that was a hell of a first time for you.

"yeah, i-i think so," you tell him quietly, "that was..."

the smirk creeping onto his face tells you he knows, his eyes moving down to your bare chest and shyness overtakes you as you grab the sheet to cover yourself.

"yeah, better cover up, not like that tight pussy of yours was just in my face or anything," he says sarcastically and your mouth drops open at his vulgarity.

"oh my, god! stop!" you yelp mortified, cheeks now bright red as you grip the cotton tighter.

a tiny chuckle leaves his mouth as he sits up, moving the strand of sweaty hair off your forehead and he feels himself ready to bolt.

because he's never had an interest in staying afterwards, had no desire to fake being interested in bare minimum aftercare or awkward one-word conversations during a post sex meal.

but with how you're looking at him, still so shy and pure after you were just ruined by him, eyes wide and sparkling at him, he's not about to risk his chances of messing up the system in an effort to not get attached to you.

though he supposes he ruined that when he made you promise not to have sex with anyone else.

but that's different, he tries to convince himself as he stands up to shrug on his boxers and pants, looking around for his shirt as you watch him with furrowed eyebrows.

you didn't think he was gonna stay but you also didn't think he was gonna run out of here five minutes after.

"i'm...i'm probably gonna order chinese if you wanna stay for some," you tell him softly because you'd be lying if you said you didn't want him to be next to you for just a little bit longer.

"i'm good, thank you though," he says while tugging on his shirt, "it's getting late and i gotta be up early tomorrow."

you check to see it's almost 11:00 at night and you nod your head in understanding, trying to banish the sinking feeling in your stomach.

"oh...right, yeah, okay," you stutter out and he smiles at you, trying to understand why there's a painful shooting through his chest.

he walks around the bed to sit next to you, his hand moving to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear as he looks down at you.

he licks his dry lips, eyes burning into yours as his voice drops.

"you remember what i said? about only calling me?"

your eyebrow raises and a part of you wonders if he's gonna be out having sex with whoever he pleases when he's here putting these restrictions on you.

you're about to say something of the sorts when his hand brushes over your cheek, slow and soft and gentle and you're embarrassed that something as simple as that has words meant for establishing fairness and rules dying in your throat.

instead, you say "yes, mingi," and his eyes darken, his face bending down to place his lips on yours. they immediately part so his tongue can slip in your mouth, caressing your own as his teeth sink down into your lip so he can dominate you one more time.

he pulls back, looking over your flushed face and sloppily kissing your pink cheek as his hot breath fans across you.

"i'll see you soon, little one."

2. 5/10/19

you knew the second mingi arrived, he wasn't himself. even the way he texted you that night was unusual.

his message pinged through asking if you were home followed by a knocking on your door ten minutes later that had him barreling through your apartment. his hands immediately grabbed your cheeks, lips attacking yours as he kicks the door shut and slams you against it.

he shoved his tongue in your mouth, grabbing your wrists and pinning them against your head roughly before dragging his mouth down to your neck. he sucked it to the point of pain, teeth sinking into the sensitive skin and you let out the smallest of whimpers.

he pulls back and you see the fire behind his eyes, pent up stress and anger so raw that you find yourself swallowing from both fear and arousal.

because usually he was fun and playful during foreplay, the both of you giggly and teasing for hours before he finally took you into the bedroom and became this mingi.

but now he's only been here for two minutes and your neck is already marked up, wrists red and cramped from his hold and he looks just about ready to destroy you.

"i need you to be good for me tonight," he says, "please, baby, i need you so bad." his voice is desperate and deep and begging and you know something had to have happened.

so you're on your knees in seconds, his body now against the door as you pull his pants and boxers down to his ankles and work your hand around his dick to get him painfully hard. you hear a quiet bump from above you, his head thrown back against the wood and then a quiet groan leaving his mouth when you wrap your lips around the head of his cock.

you swirl your tongue around the tip before hollowing your cheeks and bobbing your head up and down, hands holding him down by his hips and you hear his choked out grunts of expletives.

"look at me," he then says and your eyes raise to his ever so slightly. you take him out of your mouth, running your tongue along the underside of his cock as your eyes bore into his and they're so dark looking down at you.

you spit on the tip, lips wet and red and just grazing his most sensitive part that he's nearly bucking his hips into your mouth.

"stop playing and suck," he growls and you obey immediately, taking him in your mouth to start bobbing your head again. your tongue swirls around the tip ever now and then, lapping in circles before engulfing his cock and his hands are pulling at your hair to create a makeshift ponytail.

your hand starts to jerk him and the feel of your wet, hot mouth around him has deep groans leaving his mouth.

his hips start twitching again and he bucks his hips into your mouth, his large length hitting the back of your throat and a muffled gag leaves your throat.

a strangled chuckle leaves his mouth as he pulls you off his dick by your hair. you wince at the sharp pain before he pushes you backwards causing you to fall on to your butt.

you're shocked at first and then your heart speeds up when he's looming over you, reaching down with his hands to get you completely on your back. he meets you on the ground, body over yours as his hand comes up to your throat.

"gagging on my cock? i forgot you were just a sweet little virgin when we met," he tells you, eyes hot and dark and intensely staring into yours like a mad man, "but i've really made you into my little whore, haven't i?"

he's never talked to you like this before, never degraded you in the slightest and you didn't think you'd be into it but the wetness seeping into your thong is saying otherwise.

"and you're still only my whore, right?" he asks, tightening his hold around your neck.

you nod your head, swallowing nervously because you're not used to this tight a grip.

"i had such a bad fucking day, so many people getting on my nerves and fucking things up," he confesses to you while he tears your shirt off over your head. "but you. you always help, little one," he continues, ripping down your shorts and thong as his breath fans right between your legs, "you and this sweet little pussy reserved for me always help."

you squirm when more wetness pools between your bare legs and he smirks, licking over your wet thighs and then to down to your hole before moving to your clit. he puts one finger in you, licking and sucking and playing with you before another finger slams into you.

you moan at the feeling and it only causes him to suck your clit again, fingers angled up to hit that spot deep inside you.

he looks up at you and slowly licks up and down when he sees you've been watching him through half lidded eyes.

"you like watching me baby? like watching me eat your pretty pussy?" he asks, fingers ripped from you as he shoves them in your mouth in an effort to make you gag again.

you cry out and moan against his fingers because he's making you feel so good but also empty, his tongue not enough to satisfy your dripping pussy.

you twitch in his hold, moving your hips back and fourth almost uncontrollably and he smirks, pulling his mouth back to see you splayed out on your living room floor with your legs spread and face twinged with arousal and frustration.

"you just want my cock, don't you?" he muses, "want me to fuck you over and over until you're screaming my name."

you nod your head, a tiny whine of "yes, please" leaving your mouth and you cry out just seconds later when his cock slams into your wetness.

he pounds into you like he's never done before, your body moving against the floor as he grunts and groans and grinds himself into you.

your feet wrap around his waist, his pants still by his ankles and he lifts your hips up so his thrusts can hit you deeper.

you let out a loud moan, slapping your hand over your mouth because your downstairs neighbor is already probably pretty pissed off.

but mingi doesn't care.

he rips your hand away from your mouth, taking both of them and holding your arms above your head.

"don't even fucking try it," he growls in your ear, steadying out his pace, "i'm treating this pussy so well and you don't want me to hear you scream my name?"

your eyes roll back when he hits that deep spot in you again, his hand tightening on your wrists as the other one roughly plays with your hard nipple. you let out a moan, throwing your head back and attempting to grind your hips to match his speed.

he feels you clench around him and he pounds into you again, fast and hard and deep and you let a tiny, pleasurable scream as the knot starts to unravel.

"you've been getting so fucking greedy, coming whenever you want," he growls at you, "you think because you have this tight little pussy, you can just-" his loud, abrupt moan cuts off his sentence as he comes in you, filling you up with frantic thrusts. it's warm and wet and pulsating and your moans are bouncing off the walls in harmony.

he's sweating over you as you try to catch your breath, chest heaving up and down and you finally feel his grip around your wrists loosen.

you pull them back, cracking and stretching them and you see the red marks and bruises already start to adorn them. he looks down at you and you see despite what just happened, he's still tense. considerably less tense but still tense.

which is why you fuck three more times that night.

once right on the same spot again, just ten minutes after, the floor sweaty and probably permanently stained with fluids.

the second time, you made it to the couch and he took you from behind, hips slapping against yours loudly as he dug his fingers into your waist.

and the third time you somehow ended up on the dining room table, your body laid out on the cold surface as he ate your pussy for what you believe was 40 minutes, the overstimulation from the three rounds prior almost making it impossible for you to reach an orgasm.

but once you finally came, he sat you on his cock as he slammed your hips into him on your (now broken) dining room chair.

"i'll pay for that, i promise," he says breathlessly as he walks you over to the couch, still inside you before dropping you down on the chaise. he hovers above you, observing your flushed cheeks, bruised neck and legs that were still trembling from the five orgasms that ripped through you tonight.

"it's fine," you laughed out breathily and because you're used to this, you know in about three minutes he's gonna start looking for his clothes scattered across your apartment.

you don't know why it bothered you, why he never stayed for more than ten minutes after you guys do what you do. you've accepted it, somewhat, after all of these months.

but it doesn't slightly hurt any less.

and tonight seems different. he was so obviously bothered and tense, so much pent up aggravation and anger and annoyance that he took out on your body.

and not that you were complaining....but you also think it might be helpful for him to talk about it.

"oh well if that's the case then, we might as well break the other three, right?" he jokes. or at least attempts too. because it doesn't reach his eyes.

you giggle, shaking your head at him but he sees you looking at him with this wary look of concern.

"what?" he asks and you lick your lips in hesitation.

"are...are you okay?" you squeak out, "that was...a lot."

"you didn't seem to mind," he says cockily, pulling his boxers and pants over himself again.

you squint your eyes at him slightly because true but not a real answer.

"i didn't, i just wanna make sure you're okay, that's all," you tell him.

there's a few beats of silence because he's trying to get out of his own head. but work was just such a nightmare, all of the guys fighting and having differing opinions and being put through a 3 hour meeting just for nothing but more confusion to be added to the pot.

and then he comes here, knowing that you deserve better than him but not being able to help coming back to see your smile and laugh and hear your moans of pleasure from him fucking into you.

he wants to stop, for your sake, but he's selfish and even though it pisses him off, he can't stop.

"i'm fine," he says shortly and you recoil from his tone.

it hurts his chest when he notices. and then hurts even more when despite his attitude, you try again.

"maybe you wanna eat something before you go?" you, say softly, timidly because you know it's a risk, "i could heat up some of my food from-"

"i said i'm fine, y/n," he says shortly before asking "now where's my shirt?"

hurt is swirling in you because after all of that, he's still gonna be an asshole to you.

"i don't know," you tell him shortly and he snaps his head to look at you.

"what, now you're seriously mad?" he asks in disbelief, "sorry i'm not fucking hungry."

"no, i just don't know where it is," you say quitely, padding over to your own pile of clothes and throwing on your shirt.

you spot his a few inches away and grab it, bunching it up and throwing it to him.

"here," you say, wincing when you walk back to the couch because the soreness is already present between your legs.

he deeply inhales, watching your expression twist into one of discomfort and he walks into the kitchen as he puts his shirt on.

you're flipping through the channels quietly when he suddenly hands you an ice pack wrapped in a paper towel, holding it out until you take it with a sigh.

because he's so hot and cold like this all the time. only texting you when he wants to fuck, leaving right after you use each other bodies but sometimes doing little things that leave your hurting heart warm and fluttery.

"thank you," you mumble, looking at him before training your eyes back to the tv.

you hear him sigh and he just stands there for a few moments, watching as you ice between your legs and he hates that he is who he is.

hates that before you can ask him again if he's sure he doesn't wanna stay, he wishes you a goodnight and leaves you alone in that apartment yet again.

3. 7/26/19

mingi's phone blares in his ear, awakening him from his slumber and he looks with half open eyes at the bright screen. he's sees your name and assumes it's gonna be a 1 am booty call, so he probably shouldn't answer because he has work tomorrow and is so damn tired and did just see you a few days ago.

but then he's sliding his phone open anyway because apparently he has no control over his own body when it comes to seeing you.

"hey little one," his deep, sleepy voice mumbles.

"mingi!" he hears you screech into the phone, "mingi, mingi, mingi, can you pleeeease come over when I ge-et home," you stutter and he smiles at your drunken voice.

"for you, i think i can manage," he teases, "where are you now?" he sits up in his bed because he's done with sleep now knowing you're intoxicated AND horny out in public.

"i'm at-omg i'm at the bar we met at!" you squeal, stumbling over your feet and leaning up against a tree, "do you remember that? on valentine's day, cherry still in tact!"

he tries not to burst out laughing, phone against his ear as his slips on his shoes, "now how could i forget that?"

you giggle against the tree and you think it's as tall as mingi. you tell him so.

"i doubt that," he says, "what are you doing against a tree?"

"i...perhaps am a little drunk and dizzy so i'm gonna call an-an uber after i confirm this di-ck appointment," you say through hiccups.

"don't call for an uber, i'm coming now," he tells you, grabbing his key and trying not to lose his shit at the term dick appointment leaving your mouth.

"oh...really?" you ask him, tone light and airy and you sound so happy that it makes his heart soar, "thank you, mingi."

"i'll be there soon, little one, stay against that tree and don't go near the street."

"sir yes sir!" you respond to his command before adding, "mingi?"

"y/n?"

"i like when you call me that."

he can't help the chuckle that leaves his mouth now, walking out the door and to his car with a smile on his face.

"i know you do, baby. i'm coming for you now."

"not yeeet, you're not," you sing-song to him before ending the call with a giggle and if he speeds a little bit to get there, no one's around to notice.

he's helping you stumble up the stairs to your apartment twenty minutes later, arm around your shoulders as you kick your high heels off your aching feet.

he couldn't help the way his eyes raked over your body, tight jeans and a crop top accentuating his favorite parts of you that only his eyes have seen. or at least he hopes so.

(something burns in him at the prospect that it still doesn't hold true).

"you have fun tonight?" he asks as he watches you grab a water bottle out of the fridge. you tip your head back and gulp it, the faded hickeys he gave you the other night visible as you swallow the cold liquid.

"yes!" you squeak out, "we just wanted to dance and the dj was so good! and i had three shots!" you tell him, holding up and wiggling three fingers.

"yeah?" he says, "who'd you dance with?"

even a little tipsy, you know what he's hinting at.

"my friends," you tell him and then you get a teasing glint in your eye before adding, "and this one guy. hot but not as hot as you," you tell him, running your finger along his chest.

he squints down at you, stepping closer to you and you feel yourself already getting heated.

"oh?"

"yeah," you tell him, taking the collar of his shirt in your hand and pulling him down so your mouth is by his ear, "you're even a better kisser too."

something flares through him immediately, a growl leaving his mouth as he drags you by the arm and pushes you down on the couch, water bottle flinging across the room.

"you better be joking," he warns and you smile up at him so teasingly he just wants to-

"i'm not, you really are," you tell him and he leans over so his big frame covers you completely.

"y/n," he says seriously and a tiny pout covers your lips.

"not little one?" you say, eyes wide as you look up at him and deepen your voice when you use the nickname.

"stop fucking around," he growls and he's getting angry now but you can only giggle softly at him.

"i'm kidding, mingi, gosh," you tell him, pulling him down by his collar again so your lips meet.

but he doesn't kiss you back and you furrow your eyebrows at him.

"kiss me," you whine and he looks down at you with hard eyes.

"watch yourself," he tells you before taking your chin in his hand and placing a kiss on your awaiting mouth.

you make out until your lips are sore and red, overlapping tongues and teeth sinking into each other as quiet groans and mumbles fill the room. you grind against his bulge and throw your head back with a moan, rubbing down harder and harder.

"it's so big, mingi," you breathe out, "your cock is so big and fills me so well."

he mumbles out the quietest, gruffest "shit" because he's never heard you talk like that on your own. you've become more talkative, moans of yes and curses and repeating back what he asks of you; but never have words that dirty left your mouth.

it causes him to grow harder against you, ripping off your shirt and unclasping your bra so he can dip his head and take your nipple in his mouth. he swirls his tongue around it, your hand coming to hold the back of his head as you thread your fingers through his hair.

you whine his name and his teeth graze you ever so slightly.

he moves to the other nipple as your moans ring out and you push him off to shimmy out of your jeans and soaked thong. you then turn to face him, his hair messy and lips swollen as he watches you undress. you crawl over to him, sliding off his sweatpants and you're thrilled to see he's not wearing any boxers, cock previously hard and straining right against the black material under you.

"mmm," you moan out, licking your lips at the sight of it raging and exposed before adding "take off your shirt," and he's surprised by how easily he listens to you.

when his shirt is still over his head, he feels your hot wet mouth around his dick and he hisses, quickly throwing it over the couch and meeting your eyes that are already burning into his.

he watches your head move and tongue swirl around him in a lustful daze before you pull his dick out and slap it against your lips as you catch your breath.

"my favorite cock," you tell him and he feels paralyzed by you. by your eyes and your words and the way you look with his dick slapping against your pretty wet lips.

"my favorite cock and my only cock," you clarify, "do you like that?"

"yes, baby," he moans out and he can't take his eyes off you, "i like that a lot."

"it tastes so good," you whine to him, circling the tip with your tongue again before pulling him by his shoulders and sitting him up to sit on his lap.

"but am i your only pussy?" you suddenly ask him, head turned to the side questioningly as your arms wrap around his broad shoulders. his mouth drops because you really just asked him that and he wasn't at all expecting it.

"wha-what?" he stutters, brain already fuzzy from arousal as he now stares at you.

"well...you say i can't fuck anyone else so i was just curious if the same went for you," you tell him, voice sweet and airy but your drunken self with darker motives.

you're straddling his core, your wet heat right on his raging cock and he can barely hold himself together, can barely form a sentence.

"why aren't you saying anything?" you mumble before standing, your pussy leveled with his mouth and you pull him slightly forward so he's only inches away from you.

"answer me," you demand and he moans against you at your forcefulness, slowly licking at you and circling your clit agonizingly slow before carefully moving down to your slit and wet hole.

but you pull his face away despite the immense pleasure because you need an answer before you give in to him.

"y/n..." he whines, so close to your heat that he just wants to bury his face in between your legs and taste you over and over.

"tell me," you growl, not at all used to being like this, "am i your only pussy?"

"yes baby," he says, his face moving closer to you but you pull him back by his hair.

"you're lying," you spit at him, moving so you're right above his lips and then pulling back when his tongue tries to lick you.

"i'm not, little one, i swear," he moans out, "how could i when you taste like this...i don't...want anyone else's" he whines, eyes looking up into yours and you can tell he's being sincere.

"how do i taste?" you ask him, rubbing yourself back on his face and he grabs your hips to eat and suck and lick every part of you, like his very life depends on it. like he's trying to prove you're the only one.

moans leave your mouth and your legs wobble above him, hand tangling in his hair when he finally speaks after devouring you.

"so fucking sweet, little one," he says against you, lips glistening, "so so sweet," and before he can continue licking against your slit, the back of his head is pulled upwards, forcing him back to your clit and he smiles against your wetness.

"i love when you eat my pussy," you tell him, voice breathy and strangled and your mission is long forgotten, "you make me feel so go-" a moan cuts off your sentence when he sucks your clit into his mouth at your praises, "good, so fucking good."

he's about to really go back in, about to grab you by your ass and slam you into his mouth when you pull away and squat down to sit on his cock.

"but..." you tell him, hand back on his veiny skin as you guide him inside you,"i've been wanting to ride your cock since you first fucked me."

because it's true.

and even when you're on top, he's the one controlling you, moving you by gripping on to your waist or rocking your hips into him.

which is fine for you on any other day.

but today, you can't hold back anymore. you were secretly so fed up and annoyed at yourself tonight. because you really couldn't even think about hooking up with someone at the bar.

all because of this man.

the man who refuses to stay with you or cuddle or see you outside of this apartment.

the man who you think likes you a little bit as a person but likes what your pussy and mouth do even more.

so you drank and drank until your low tolerance said enough and then you naturally felt the need to see him. but you figured now would be the time to assert yourself in some way, with liquid courage and your ever present need for him to find out if his little rule went both ways.

"i wanna do it myself," you tell him as your wet, hot core hovers over his rock hard cock, "will you let me do that? let me ride you all by myself?"

he swallows thickly because he wants to just thrust up into you and take your tight pussy the way he always does. but you're so sweet and polite and ready for him that he can only nod his head.

"let's see what you got, little one."

and right as the words leave his mouth, you sink down onto him. you both moan at the sensation, not used to this deep angle as you rock into him slowly, experimentally and his hands are already at your hips ready to guide you.

but you grab them and hold them, placing them on your chest because you figure he won't move them off when he's got your hard nipples to play with.

"no, mingi," you scold, rolling your hips slowly as you trail kisses down his neck, "don't move your hands, mmkay?" you mumble against his skin.

he doesn't answer, just kneads your boobs with his large hands and you sink down on his cock again, causing a sharp exhale to leave his nose.

"okay?"

he shakes his head at you because you're so cute and pure but also so fucking bold and demanding tonight.

"who do you think you are," he says, almost as if he's talking to himself and it's all the motivation you need to start bouncing up and down on him.

you throw your head back at the feeling, your boobs rocking in his hands as his legs spread out underneath you.

"fuck," you hear him grunt out but you barely hear him because you're so wet and he's so big, filling you up like you're a perfect fit. you clench around him because he's so thick around your tightness, your bouncing and rolling steady with him inside you.

"oh..oh my god," you moan out, head thrown back as you get yourself off on him. you grip his broad shoulders as your legs start to burn and you've never heard this many deep groans leave his mouth.

but he can't help it, watching you take control and ride him with your face so blissed out by his cock.

"holyshit baby," he grunts again and he tries to put his hands on your waist but you grab them, shoving them back to your chest.

"don't," you whine out and you find your pace again. grinding and bouncing and rolling, his moans and groans and curses filling the air and they only fuel you to roll your hips more.

that and your own immense pleasure coursing through your veins.

"this...feels so fucking good, oh my god," you whine, "your cock is so-" a loud moan rips through you, your clit stimulated from the position and your nipples erect from mingi's hands rubbing mercilessly at them.

"my cock is so what little one?" he asks, his voice strained as he looks down at you with sweat glistening on your face and chest.

"it's so fucking big and it," a moan slips out of your mouth before you continue, "fucks me so good," you cry out and the tightening in your core you're so familiar with hits you. "oh my go-god, i'm gonna...mingi, come, please," you beg, frantically rolling your hips so you get him to release first.

"i'm close, baby," he grunts out, taking your nipple in his mouth and licking over it; you nearly come on the spot and you think that's why he does it.

"please, please, please, mingi," you're all but screaming now, "come in me, i want you to come in my pussy. it's all yours, it's all yours so please-"

you feel a hot burst in your core followed by his loud grunts in your ear and you're finally able to  rub out your own orgasm.

the clenching of your core, his hot release, your moans filling the air is almost all becoming too much as you collapse against him. your face is in the crook of his neck, breathing heavily against him and his hands finally make their way to your waist.

he squeezes it softly, rubbing over the smooth skin with his thumbs before picking you up and laying you on the couch gently. he leans over you, wiping the sweat off your face with his hand before plopping down next to you.

your mind is fuzzy from the alcohol and post orgasm daze, leg stretching out and falling into his naked lap. you both sit there for what feels like hours, hearts slowing and breaths evening out until your leg falls off his lap when he stands.

your stomach plummets because you know it's that time of the night and you blink back the emotional tears you're just gonna blame the alcohol on.

"are you leaving?" you ask him quietly, laying on your side as he puts on his sweatpants.

he bends down in front of the couch so you're at eye level, his hand raking through your sweaty hair.

"you know i am," he says quietly, eyes roaming your face that falls into the most heartbreaking frown.

"why do you always leave," your voice comes out in a mumble, "you always leave so fast and it hurts my feelings."

your mind is so fuzzy with tiredness, eyes fighting to stay open so you don't notice how sad your confession makes him.

"i don't mean to, little one," he says softly, "it's just...what i do." what i have to do.

it's a lousy excuse, lousy excuse for what used to be him being inconsiderate and uncaring and then morphing into something he does now to protect himself.

because he knows if he holds you, if he gets one taste of anything other than sex with you, it's over. he's over and you'll have the power to completely ruin him.

"well i wish you wouldn't," you whine before asking, "can you at least...bring me to bed?

he licks his dry lips, looking down at you and nodding after a quiet, "please," leaves your mouth,  eyes wide and glossy. he picks you up bridal style, your head against his bare chest as he carries you into your bedroom.

he pulls back the comforter and places you down before covering you with it, watching as you snuggle further into your bed with a content sigh.

"this is nice..." you mumble and your eyes pop open to look at him. they look even more teary in your dimly lit room and he's hoping that maybe his own eyes are just playing tricks on him.

"you good now?" his eyes roam over your sleepy face one more time before he turns to leave.

"wait," you mumble, eyes feeling so heavy as you struggle to keep them open before you ask, "can you please stay with me?"

"y/n..." he whispers into the dark, voice strained and shaky and he feels his heart breaking but your quiet, sleepy voice continues.

"i know you won't...but i wish you would, just once," you mumble and then five seconds later, your breaths turn even and you're fast asleep.

4. 9/18/19

"ah shit, i left my wallet at home," the boy across from you says and you sharply inhale because you didn't think this date could go any worse. but of course here's the universe just continuously proving you wrong, about to send you into a downward spiral.

"oh," you say quietly, looking at the total of $65.31 and swallowing your pride because you never wanna see this guy again. "it's fine, i'll just pay it."

"you sure?" he asks and you quickly slide your card in the bill pocket before flagging over the waitress.

"yeah, no worries. it happens," you say before thanking the lady who looks at you sympathetically.

she watched the whole date unravel into a disaster of the night: from him being 30 minutes late to cutting you off so he could order your food and then proceeding to boast about himself and his six figure job for 45 minutes.

"thanks, babe." you swallow down the queasiness fighting it's way up your throat, "maybe i can pay you back some other way. like at my place?" he suggests, eyes staring at you like they're supposed to be seductive and alluring when he's really just appearing cross-eyed.

"uh..i don't think so," you tell him, smiling at the waitress before you sign and quickly stand up, "it's getting late so i'm...i should probably go."

he scoffs at you, like you were somehow the one wasting his time and conning him into a free meal.

"nice meeting you," you lie through your teeth and he mumbles something that sounds like "yeah, whatever" before you scurry out to your car.

the whole drive home, you hold back frustrated tears because what the fuck.

this was your 4th first date in three weeks, curtesy of your friends' incessant need to hook you up with their coworkers or friends of friends and you've had enough.

had enough of the rejection and bad dates or the "you're really nice but..." and without fail, every single dinner ending with the obvious inclination they're just doing this to get laid.

and it's not like in the back of your mind, you're refusing for any other reason than the men being so boring and self-absorbed and just plain awful.

so that's how you find yourself texting mingi the second you park your car, running upstairs to shower some of tenseness out of your muscles while hoping the rest will be fucked out.

you're still in your towel when he knocks on the door and you let him in, eyes roaming your body and a smirk crosses his face.

"well, this is awfully convenient," he says and you roll your eyes with a chuckle, dropping your towel and pulling him in your bedroom by his shirt.

"hey, you're gonna stretch it," he whines and it's not like he actually cares when you're pushing him down on your bed.

"too bad."

you straddle his hips, bending down to kiss him and you two start doing what you always do. it's so natural at this point, the way your lips and tongues collide against one another.

his hands come around to grip your bare ass, grinding you into his growing bulge and you bite down on his lip before soothing it with your tongue.

the more you make out, the more clothes he sheds off until you're both pressed up against each other's naked bodies, the sounds of sloppy kisses and muffled moans filling your small bedroom.

you're about to pepper kisses down his neck, mark him up like he always does to you, when he suddenly grabs your thighs harshly and spins you around until you're sitting on his face. his tongue delves into your wet opening as you let out a high pitched whine at the sudden feeling.

"shit," you moan out and you feel him smirk against your pussy until he commands, "suck."

you lean down, grinding yourself on his face in the process before taking his dick in your mouth. you suck him off, hollowing your cheeks and swirling your tongue as your hand joins to jerk him off. a moan falls from your lips as he sucks your clit into his warm mouth and it vibrates against his cock. there's something about the way you're moaning around him, muffled and silenced and full that has you dripping over his mouth.

you feel his finger make its way into you and you bob your head faster after spitting over the tip of his dick, sucking it slowly, and his hips start jerking into your mouth.

you're matching each other's pace, trying to get the other to come first and you feel an orgasm coming on already. desperate to come but even more desperate to win, you slide yourself off his mouth and sit on his dick backwards, ass in his face as you start to ride him.

you know you're gonna be victorious because he's groaning and cursing and slapping your ass, squeezing one of your cheeks as he throws his head back into one of the pillows.

"jesus christ, baby," he says, voice strangled and wobbly, "keep going."

your arms fall out in front of you to ground you, hips rolling and twisting and then bouncing and you moan out into the sticky air.

"so big," you whine out because this angle could be borderline painful if you move the wrong way, his cock feeling like it's lodged in your lower stomach and puncturing vital organs.

"so good," he praises, gripping your ass and you know it's gonna have bright red finger marks, "so fucking good."

"come for me, mingi," you whine, "come for me if i'm so good to you," and 3 seconds later, you listen in utter delight as he's grunting and groaning above you, his hot come releasing into you as you roll your hips slowly to drag out his orgasm.

but you barely have time to celebrate because he pulls you up and off him, fingers on your clit and mouth around your nipple as he brings you to your own orgasm shortly after.

he watches as you try to catch your breath below him, eyes shut and arms splayed out as your stress and annoyance vanishes and is instantly replaced with sadness and disappointment.

because you can distract yourself all you want, drown yourself in the pleasure of mingi's cock and mouth, but the high will wear off and the realization that no one wants you will sink in. not the assholes you go on dates with and especially not the asshole who's about to bolt out of here in five minutes.

he sees your eyes are twinged with sadness, glassy and staring off into space and he bites his lip because he doesn't know what to make of it.

"what happened little one?" he asks, thumb wiping over your lower lip, "upset you didn't get to come on my tongue? the night is still young."

you know he's joking and being light-hearted, eyes bright and peering down at you expectantly for another round or three but you can't stop yourself from snapping.

"oh is it? i thought for sure you'd be rushing out of here by now."

his face drops at your tone and his eyebrows furrow, unsure of what to even say to you. because there's nothing he can say.

but he also doesn't know where that came from.

"what?"

"maybe you can tell me" you suddenly blurt out, "why no one sticks around, not even for a second fucking date since, you know, you're so well rehearsed in leaving."

now he knows he's definitely missing something but can only watch as you start to have a breakdown, his own chest bubbling up with guilt and confusion and anger.

his eyes are dark and narrowed when he spits, "why are being like this right now?"

"because i'm so tired of feeling alone," you tell him and maybe it was a deeper answer than he was expecting because he looks taken back. "i'm so tired of looking like a fucking idiot when my friends keep setting me up on stupid dates and i have to tell them what a shitshow it was."

"so you're taking it out on me because you had a bad date?" he snaps, "i'm struggling to see how that's my fault."

"but then there's you, mingi," you say, sitting up and throwing him a harsh look, "i give you everything because, well, how the fuck can i not and you still fly out that door, still don't fucking want me and only come back because of my pussy."

he reaches over and grabs you by the jaw roughly, staring down at you with dark, fiery eyes. "stop." i want you too much, that's the problem.

you pull your face away, "you stop. it's true and you know it."

tears prick behind your eyes and you feel so stupid for doing this. you should've never invited him over in the first place because you knew you were gonna end up having a pity party.

his hand makes its way back to your jaw, thumb rubbing over your soft skin and forcing your eyes to meet his.

"you don't know anything," he mumbles so quietly you can barely make out the words. but you can only advert your eyes from him because you feel so shitty and sad and pathetic.

but then he's moving your face again, looking right at you when he softly asks, "what do you want me to do?" and you feel a tear slip down your face.

he peers down at you and his heart is breaking because he can tell you're hurting tonight, can tell you're truly upset and he doesn't want you to feel like you're ruining anything between you two.

but he's also being mindful of himself and his heart, attempting to find a happy medium inside of him.

"little one, why are you crying?" and you don't know if it's the name or his soft tone that causes the tears to pour from your eyes, pushing him back and turning away from him.

you want to tell him you want him to hold you, to please stay with you so you can burrow yourself into his chest and surround yourself in his warmth and fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

but if you outright ask him and he still denies you, your tears will never stop tonight.

so you mumble out "please just go," but you can feel him still sitting beside you minutes later.

his heart is torn in two trying to decide what to do, decide whether to stay and wipe your tears and put you to bed or do what he always does and be a cowardly asshole.

"y/n, i'm trying to help," he says, placing his hand on your bare back and rubbing his thumb back and forth ever so slightly, "i hate seeing you like this," he mumbles softly and he's not even sure if you hear him.

because he only hears your quiet crying, breathing erratic and shoulders shaking  and he just wants to throw himself around you and force you to talk out your feelings with him.

"then leave," you tell him, "i...i shouldn't have asked you to come tonight when i'm like this."

but i want to be here for you.

and if speaking the truth were that easy, those words would've left his mouth and maybe resolved the issue. but, because he's mingi and because the truth is often too hard to say, he places a lingering kiss on your head, one of the first chaste kisses he's ever given you, before putting on his clothes and leaving you to cry yourself to sleep.

5. 11/30/19

"did i mention that i missed this pussy," mingi mumbles against your thigh and you instinctively widen your legs because apparently not getting laid for the two weeks you were abroad really did a number on the both of you.

"only about 50 times," you quip because you've honestly lost count of how many times you guys have had sex today.

he spits between your legs at your tone, using his finger to swirl it around the sensitive area before lapping at your clit. you're so overstimulated and raw, voice scratchy from your screams and wrists sore from your hands currently being bound by his tie on your headboard.

but you can't stop the pleasurable moans that rip through you, your hands flailing against the tightly tied knot and you would've gone away sooner if you had known this was a form of punishment.

"can't believe you made me go that long without it," he says, his finger running teasingly up and down your slit, "you know how many times i had to get off with my own hand. had to think of you and this pussy just so i could come."

"but it's such a nice hand," you whine sarcastically and he halts all movement down there, pulling his face and fingers away and now you're about to pay dearly for your attitude.

"you came back a little fucking brat," he spits, tightening the tie around your hands, "now you're not coming."

but you're still stimulated and dripping and desperate to come, crying out and begging and pleading. but he only sits next to you so he's by your head, yanking your face down to his cock and shoving it in your mouth.

you gag at the sudden intrusion, jaw still aching from the last three times you blew him but you persist, licking and sucking and drooling on him as he thrusts into your mouth.

you moan around him the more he talks to you, the more he curses at you and tells you "this should fucking shut you up."

your hands are pulling against the tie because you want to touch him, want to stroke the parts of him your mouth can't reach and tease the tip of his dick but it only starts to chafe your skin.

"so...close," he moans out and his stamina is something to be commended, "your mouth is so- i'm gonna-" and you promptly hear him moan again. luckily there's not too much of a taste, his cock completely drained empty but what does make it past you make a show out of enjoying because you have to be good now.

a tiny noise leaves the back of your throat, a mix between a pant and a whine, as you lick your lips, eyes shut like you're savoring the taste of him and you bite your bottom lip when your gaze meets his.

"you taste so good," you say, voice breathy and eyes rolling back and you're resisting the urge to smirk when his mouth dives in and his tongue finishes you off between your legs.

you come with one last scream, borderline painful from how sensitive you are and you push his head away with your hands.

"i'm gonna fucking die if i come again," you mumble a few moments later, laid out on your back with your knees bent and drenched hair splayed away from your sticky body.

"agreed," mingi says, reaching over to untie your wrists and you had forgotten they were even bounded. he cringes when he sees the skin is red and chafed, deep indentions and he rubs his thumb over them gently.

"jesus christ, little one, we might have to start using a safe word," he says, examining them thoroughly, "do they hurt?"

you pull them back to stretch them and you wince, rubbing your own hand over one of them. "a little bit...but it's okay....i liked it," you admit, cheeks flushed and voice quiet and he lets out a small laugh next to you.

"still so shy after being such a cockslut, huh," he teases, his face leaning in close to yours and you push him away with a giggle.

"don't use that word!" you squeal and he smiles down at you because fuck did he miss you.

"really though, are you good," he asks, "because that was like a 6 hour sex marathon."

"oh, i know," you tell him because you can absolutely feel the soreness coming on, "you're completely empty, bud."

his head snaps to look at you and you give him an innocent smile, stretching your body before rolling over with a groan.

"i'm okay though, just very tired now," you mumble, closing your eyes and his roam over your face. because he notices that he always does that, takes in every part of your face when your eyes are closed and tries to stop the fluttering in his chest, stop his body from reaching out to touch your hair or wrap his arms around you.

and if he wasn't already sure that he really liked you, the time apart made it obvious.

"would i be able to shower quick before i go?" he asks, shaking himself from his thoughts, "my hot water isn't working and i definitely don't need a cold one after tonight."

you giggle sleepily against your pillow, mumbling a "sure," and then you pull the blanket over yourself and succumb to your exhaustion.

he watches with a smile as you lose yourself to sleep before padding off to your bathroom. the hot water pelts his sweaty body as he stands under it, eyes shut as his exhausted body relaxes under the heat.

he squeezes a bit of shampoo in his hand, bringing his hand up to his nose to smell it and there's something strange about using your soap; almost as if the lavender vanilla scent should only belong to you. but it's nice, being surrounded by the smell he associates with you. it does something to his chest, his heart tugging in a way he's been trying to avoid for months now.

but it's getting harder to ignore. getting harder to leave you here alone and act as if you're not way way more than a friends with benefit.

he tries to push you out of his thoughts because he's not gone yet. he's still here with you, still gets to look at you and touch you and smell you. and that very thought has him speeding up the shower, lathering his body with soap before washing it off and enjoying the heat for a few more moments.

he peeks into the bedroom, towel wrapped around his waist, to see your body is still and assumes you're still sleeping. he quietly tiptoes around the sea of clothes to find his, slipping on his pants before he hears a little whine.

he looks over, seeing your eyes are still shut but face now slightly pinched together. he keeps his gaze on you for a few seconds before searching for his shirt and throwing it over his head.

it's within those moments you start silently thrashing, legs twitching and arms flailing until he hears a broken "stop" leave your lips.

"y/n?" he says softly, waking over to peer down at you in bed.

your brows furrow even more, eyes scrunched tightly and face in a grimace as you start shaking your head side to side.

"no, no, no," you weakly mumble out, "stop. please stop!"

"y/n," he says louder, placing his hand on your cheek. but your thrashing quickly pushes it off and he moves it to your shoulder.

"wake up, baby," he coos, shaking your body, "c'mon."

a loud groan rips through your mouth, almost resembling a cry and he shakes you one more time before your eyes pop open.

you don't even know why you're crying, heart racing and brain fuzzy as you try to piece together what just happened.

"what the hell happened," mingi asks you, his hand back on your cheek as he wipes your tears off with his thumb.

"i don't-i don't even know," you stutter breathlessly, "i just heard your voice and then i-" it's so hard to breathe so you try to catch your breath, in your nose, out your mouth, and he pulls you into his body on instinct.

he mimics your breathing in your ear, in and out as he holds the back of your head with his hand and he doesn't think he'll be able to leave you tonight. doesn't want to leave you like this and is willing to put his stupid selfish feelings aside for a night to give you the comfort you need and deserve.

you hesitantly move your head to his chest, shakily breathing out and your body visibly relaxes when he allows your touch, welcomes it even when he puts his arm around you and hums again your hair.

"does that happen a lot?" he asks.

"mmm, not really," you tell him even though your sleeping habits have always been questionable, " but when it does, i always wake up so upset and...i never know why, can never remember," you explain softly, eyes feeling heavy because he's warm and big and you've wanted this with him for so long.

his lips brush against your head, arm tightening around you protectively. "i'm sorry, baby," he says softly and the affection in his tone has you a blushing mess, stomach churning and heart pounding.

his heart warms when you snuggle further into his chest as you both lay there silently, your hand making its way to draw shapes on his chest.

you're so tired and calm, so content with the current position that you don't even realize you're mumbling a few moments later, "are you gonna stay?"

his usual reaction would be to bolt, to stutter out some lame excuse and deal with his sinking heart.

but he's admitting defeat, admitting that he can't leave you tonight and probably fell in love with you somewhere along the way and has been way too scared to deal with it.

he's about to breathe out a yes when his phone blares in his sweatshirt pocket on the floor and he huffs because really, what god fucking awful timing.

you kisses your head in apology and you hold back a sigh when he moves you off him, going over to pick up his phone.

"what?" you hear him snap and a frantic male voice on the phone is speaking a mile a minute. you watch his face morph into one of shock and annoyance and then disappointment as his gaze moves to you and a tiny pout covers his lips.

"i'll be there in 10," he grumbles out, hanging up the phone with a huff and making his way over to you. he kneels down, hands running over your hair gently as his soft eyes stare at you.

"i gotta go, little one, i'm so sorry," he says and you can hear the genuine sincerity in his voice, "are you okay? i can...i can come back after if you need."

your own hand moves to his cheek, rubbing your thumb over the soft skin and you shake your head even though your heart is soaring at the gesture.

"it's okay, i'm good now," you tell him, "i hope everything's okay."

he nods before bending down to press his lips to your forehead. "it's fine, my friend's are just drunk assholes and need someone responsible," he tells you with a chuckle and you roll your eyes.

"and they called you?" you tease and he can't even pretend to be mad when you're smiling at him like that.

"sh, don't be a brat," he tells you, trailing his lips down to meet yours in a peck, "or else you know what'll happen next time."

+1: 1/10/20

it's like you guys came full circle, sitting side by side at the bar stools you first met almost a year.

"now, see, it was a good thing i embarrassed you after all!" your friend remarks while ordering a round of shots, "if i hadn't, who knows how bad those cobwebs would've gotten in your-"

"shut up!" you screech, covering her mouth with your hand as mingi chuckles next to you.

"i mean...she's not wrong," he teases, looking at your flushed cheeks and remembering your first night together, "because you were waiting for me, weren't you, little one?"

you feel yourself burning, squinting your eyes at his hushed words because you know exactly what he's thinking about.

"you shut up, too," you growl as your friend shoves two shots in your hands.

"to a valentine's day fuck!" your friend screams, her and mingi clinking their glasses together as you sit there completely unamused.

you take down the liquor with a sneer, your throat burning and you nearly vomit all over the bar. but then twenty minutes later, with the alcohol coursing through your veins and music blasting, you and your friends are dancing in the middle of the bar.

it's crowded tonight and there's far too many sweaty people but it's still fun. laughing with your friends as you spin and grind and jump around with no care in the world.

and for half that night, that's how it goes. just fun and carefree and tame until you feel a hand on your ass that you know isn't the one you're so used to because of it's size.

you snap your head back to see a short, stocky guy attempting to grind his hips on you. he's wobbling because you can tell he's absolutely gone, eyes glossy and forehead sweaty and you move closer to your friend who yells a slur of curses in his face.

"fuck off, i want your friend," he snaps at her and you give him a little shove.

"well, i'm not interested," you tell him, smacking his hand off before turning around to face your friend. "do you wanna get another-"

your words get cut off when your arm is nearly pulled from the socket, trapped between the wall and the man you just rejected.

"c'mon, babe, you're so pretty," he coos, running a clammy finger down your face and neck, about to circle your little bit of cleavage exposed, "i'll treat you-"

he's on the floor and away from you in a second, mingi putting himself between you both as he stands over the groaning boy. you can feel the anger radiating off of him, fists clenched and jaw ticking as he kicks him once in the stomach.

"don't fucking touch her," he growls, "i should break your god damn hand, you know that?"

he turns around to survey you, hand on your waist and concerned eyes roaming over your face.

"are you okay?" he asks and you see the fire behind his eyes.

"i'm fine," you say even though your racing heart has finally slowed and you still feel sick to your stomach at those intrusive hands on you, "just a drunk asshole."

"it doesn't matter," is all he spits, "he shouldn't have touched you."

and then he quickly turns back around, the man slowly getting up so he's not at all prepared for the punch the connects right into his nose.

"mingi, stop," you whine, "it's fine, you're gonna get us kicked out."

"so what, he can't just touch what's mine," he blurts out and your eyebrows shoot up because he's usually only saying that in his dominant sex crazed state.

but then you think you're letting your own feelings fill you with false hope, reading way more into this than you should. you let out a sigh, pulling him closer to you and looking up at him.

"it's fine now, you're here," you say softly because you just want him to calm down, "let's dance."

he bites his lip because he never dances in public but also can't risk someone else touching you against your will.

so that's exactly how you two find yourselves in a corner, grinding to the beat and forgetting that you're in a bar full of people.

your arms are looped around his neck, hands playing with his hair and his hands squeezing your hips lightly. your head falls against his chest when you feel him growing hard under you.

"big," you stupidly mumble out and he chuckles lowly, hand worming over a few inches below the button your jeans.

"for you, little one." his hips press further into yours, rubbing more purposefully against you, "always for you," he mumbles and you make the quietest moan in the back of your throat.

his hips and his voice and that god damn nickname have you dragging him into the bathroom, locking the single stall and pulling him down to crash your lips together.

he smiles against them because finally before picking you up, pressing you against the wall as you intertwine your legs around his hips.

both a little tipsy, it goes a lot sloppier than intended. he nearly stumbles over his feet and you slam your head against the concrete but you guys never break the kiss, tongues and teeth clashing as you moan loudly into one another's mouths.

"please fuck me," you whine into his ear, moving against him as you lick down his neck. he walks you over to the sink counter, quickly pulling down your pants and thong as you lean back and spread your legs for him to get a better look.

"that pussy," he groans as he pulls down his own pants, giving you his hand to spit on so he can wet his cock. he jerks it off a few times staring at your wetness, eyes finally moving to yours where he sees you sitting back patiently with glossy, dilated pupils and your teeth in your lip.

"please," you groan again and he rips you off the sink to put you on his cock, back up against the cold wall again and you tighten your hold around him.

it's fast and dirty and hard, skin slapping on skin that echoes throughout the tiny bathroom.

"oh, my god," you moan out loudly and he thrusts up once, deep into you.

"don't be so loud, i don't want anyone hearing you," he grunts out, "don't want anyone hearing what's mine."

even tipsy and horny and in the middle of being fucked out, you noticed he used that word again.

"i'm yours," you repeat quietly and he growls, fingers digging into your hips as he stills inside of you.

"what the fuck," you whine out, rocking your own hips against him but he's just staring into your eyes, chest heaving up and down like he's trying so hard to control himself.

"be mine," is what he grunts out and your eyes widen. despite the shock and confusion and your rapid heart picking up its pace, you still clench around him.

"what?"

"be mine. completely mine, officially," he says and you can't believe he's doing this now, with his cock buried inside you in a dirty public bathroom.

and as sick as it is, your answer is immediate. you don't even have to think about it.

"i always was, you idiot," you say, rocking yourself into him more, "now just fuck me."

and he has to meet your demands so the tears threatening to sting his eyes don't surface and make a mockery out of his reputation.

but it doesn't stop him from praising you, asking you to repeat if you're really his over and over again until you're both moaning in unison at your releases.

you lean your head against the wall, his resting on your shoulder as he's still inside you while you try to catch your breath. he takes you off his cock, pulling up your clothes before his own and looking down at you.

"did you really mean that?" is the first thing he asks and you furrow your eyebrows because is he that stupid?

"yes," you tell him and it's so matter of fact he finds himself wanting to blurt his next words out.

but he waits. waits until you guys leave the bathroom and say your goodbyes, waits while you guys hold hands in the uber and stumble in your apartment together.

and then when you both lay out on your couch, he takes your face in his hands and kisses you deeply on the lips.

"i love you," he says, so soft and sincere and genuinely that tears almost spring to your eyes. "i love you and i'm so sorry it took me this long to realize."

you look at him in shock because you never would have dreamed this confession would be happening between the two of you. never would have dreamed of him looking at you with watery eyes and a terrified expression as he shows you his most vulnerable side.

"i know i've been stupid and obnoxious and sometimes just a fucking asshole but i promise if you let me explain-"

"i love you too," you say, cutting him off because it's as simple as that, "i thought it was fairly obvious but..."

and that's when the first tiny tear falls from his eye and his natural instinct is to quickly wipe at it because he's not used to crying in front of anyone.

but he wants to let that guard down, show you it's always been more than just sex and pleasure.

"y/n..." he says and you shake your head at him, softly smiling as tiny tears continue to leak from his eyes.

"you're an ugly crier," you tease, scooting over so you can wipe his wet face before pulling him into a hug. you're almost positive he doesn't let you go for a half hour, arms tight and warm around you as his head rests in the crook of your neck.

but you relish in the feeling because he's finally letting you see this side of him and while you love fucking his brains out, you also want to see him break down and show you any sort of deeper emotion.

"can i just ask you one thing?" you ask when he pulls back and he nods his head.

"anything, baby."

"why wouldn't you ever stay over?" you squeak out and the question alone causes anxiety to bubble up in you, "why would you always leave so soon after?"

he swallows the lump in his throat and intertwines your fingers together, thumb brushing over hand.

"because i knew this would happen, i knew you were it for me and that scared me," he tells you, "i knew if i held you and stayed with you and spent more time...i was gonna fall in love because how couldn't i," he muses and he's being so honest and raw that it's hurting your heart in the best possible way.

"i'm sorry that it hurt you, baby, i'm sorry for how much i hurt you and that i made you feel...shitty sometimes," he say, "but i promise i'm gonna be the best boyfriend i can be, okay? please-"

you cut him off with a kiss, pushing him back and jumping into his lap. it's like all your other kisses but also something incredibly new, passionate and loving and so so sweet that you have to rip yourselves off each other for air.

"I know you will," you tell him, pecking both of his cheek sweetly and smiling when you see a blush on his cheeks.

"look at that, you're a boyfriend for one whole minute and you're already blushing!" you squeal and then he really goes and giggles and you're shocked this giant baby ever had you so fooled.

he squints his eyes playfully at you, pushing you down on your back so he's holding himself above you and dipping down to meet your lips again.

"we'll see who's blushing in ten minutes, little one," he says and it's safe to say boyfriend mingi is just as talented as friends with benefits mingi.

except this time afterwards, he carries you in the bedroom and does all that aftercare nonsense he swore was annoying and stupid but is actually making him so stupidly happy. cleaning you up between your legs and taking off your runny makeup, worming his way to litter tiny pecks all over your clean face as you giggle against him before finally pulling you into his chest and smiling when you cuddle your:self deeper into him.

you fall asleep to a mantra of "i love you"'s, his hand trailing up and down your shoulder until the smell of burning food wakes you hours later.

and it's something you grow incredibly used to because only two weeks after that do you open your door to find mingi in the hallway, holding five boxes stacked on top of each other with the stupidest smile on his face.

"what's all this?" you ask him, standing on your tippy toes to grab two of them and placing it down in your living room.

"the rest of my stuff is in the car," he tells you matter of factly, pecking your nose with a kiss before looking at your confused expression.

"did i forget to mention i'm moving in?"

[amphii-writes]

Hihihi!! I was wondering if you could write a second part to your tsuki angst? I really loved it was amazing 🥺👉👈 anything is fine I just wanna see how everything turns out in the end! :))

I totally didn’t say “pogchamp” out loud when I read this, pfft no wrong person. Anyway, your support and suggestion mean so much to me! (and plus I was thinking of making another part to that story, so this ask just made it concrete) also, falling in love with your best friend is either the best or worst thing ever, no cap. It also helps if you know what Tendou’s song, Baki Baki, translates to in English! It helps a lot- at least comprehension wise.

Part one -->here<--

synopsis: After you met a red-haired boy with a mischievous smile, you decided to befriend him. Now, a couple of months later, it's time for Shiratorizawa and Karasuno to fight. genre: angst, fluffy internal monologue warnings: Swearing, toxic friendships, unrequited love, etc. pairing: Tsukishima & Yamaguchi x F!Reader x Tendou  word count: 2.5k

After what happened at the Karasuno volleyball club, you couldn’t seem to get yourself to go back. Whether it be to support them during practice or a game, you just couldn’t deal with the embarrassment, especially after what Tsukishima did to you. Just imagining the pitiful stares and judging gazes made your heart pound. It also didn’t seem to help that Yamaguchi was pissed off at the taller man. His texts were a punch of rambling rants about how he felt about what happened and how he wished he could’ve stopped both of you from getting hurt. He was always looking out for both of you behind the scenes, a true sweetheart, at least if he didn’t pick up some of Tsukishima’s personality on the way.

On the other hand, the Shiratorizawa team was warm and welcoming as always. They never barged into your business and helped you with learning the ropes: you basically became their cheerleader. When it was finally the game against Karasuno; you decided not just to support your school, but the goofy red-head you met on the street.

Making your way to where the Miyagi prefectural qualifiers were held. The stadium-like building towering just over some of the buildings, with teams heading inside left and right. Mixes of blue, pink, mint green, and the four colors you were looking for: black and orange, then white and purple. You of course spouted some Karasuno merch as you walked over to the team of gentle giants. The first person to notice you were Goshiki. He yelled your name, waved, and then ran up to greet you properly.

“Y/N! Hey! I’m so glad you could make it! We all appreciate you coming- oh and Tendou said-” “Goshiki? What did I say, huh?” the tall male interjected, slumping down to meet your eyes with a smile on his face. “Well,” he stammered, “You said that we’d beat Karasuno! You said that if you saw the tall blonde guy that you’d-” “okay okay Goshiki, calm down! We don’t want our future ace to be too pumped up for the match, do we?” Tendou immediately looked at you “can’t have our guest not see your potential, isn’t that right, Y/N?” he wiggled his eyebrows. “Of course, Tendou does have a point Gohsiki, but thank you for welcoming me!” you smiled brightly at the tall boy “I’ll be over there in a second, go catch up with your team.” and with that, Goshiki ran over to Ushijima and the rest of his team.

“So Tendou, what did you say you’d do to Tsukishima?” you inquired, although a bit mischievously. “Well, I just said I’d taunt him a little bit, nothing wrong with that, right?” he shrugged, “It’s not like I don’t taunt the opposing team a bit anyways, but that Tsukishima kid...” he grumbled, “Makes me wanna play a bit dirty.” “Tendou, you won't have to do that. You're already a wonderful player! Forget about him and make sure that your team wins. Please: don’t get caught up in my business,” You smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

Tendou at this point was enamored by you, how you spoke to him, treated him with respect, and just how sweet you were to him and the team. Sometimes, he would admit that he was jealous of Goshiki due to how often the black-haired boy would steal your attention. He honestly just wanted to see you happy, and when he’d think about what Tsukishima said to you, he’d lose his cool. He honestly had only seen the setter and a short ginger-haired blocker from Karasuno, so he’d never seen Tsukishima before, but from what you’d described, he was tall, blonde, had glasses, and a complete asshole. He knew that once he found out his number he’d make sure that Tsukishima would suffer.

After the first night he met you, he ranted to his team about how horrible that kid must’ve been, who would make a girl cry on purpose? That's absolutely insane! Tendou had accidentally made girls cry due to his looks when he was younger but he never tried to scare them. Tsukishima reminded him of his bullies when he was younger, trying to put everyone down, trying to hurt innocent people, and that made him so much angrier. He didn’t want you to be hurt, he wanted to save you from what he went through.

On the other side of the story was Tsukishima. He hadn’t heard anything from you for a while. He would honestly stick knives in his eyes before ever admitting to the fact that he’s worried about you. Even Yamaguchi called him out on how mean he was, and Tsukishima snapped under the pressure, he opened up to Yamaguchi about his feelings for you and how he wanted them to go away. He knew you didn’t have feelings for him, so why would he confess? To ruin the friendship? He just decided to ignore his feelings, and that meant ignoring you.

With this new information, Yamaguchi saw that you were in quite the love-related mess. Tsukishima and his pride wouldn’t allow himself to be seen as weak to anyone, while Tendou saw Tsukishima as the enemy. Yamaguchi wouldn’t be lying to say that he also had a small crush on you. He never mentioned it, but it wasn’t as big as Tendou’s or Tsuki’s so he just stood by. Yes, he felt a little sad about it but he just wanted his two friends to be happy- and it’s not like Yamaguchi didn’t also have a crush on Yachi. He saw himself as the last resort, and so he’d try his best to have both of his friends at least make up.

You, of course, had to go see your best friend Yamaguchi before the game! even if that meant having to see Tsukishima again, you’d just ignore him. You’ve accepted that he wasn’t going to change for just anybody and that you already had better friends than him, so what’s the point of going back to him?

You were greeted with a surprised Yamaguchi, you could’ve sword his eyes blew up to the size of saucers when he saw you. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if you’d come to this game- he knew you exactly didn’t have a gracious exit after Tsukishima had yelled at you. But, even then, he couldn’t contain his excitement or his voice when he saw you.

“Y/N! You actually came? I’m so glad to see you!” Yamaguchi smiled brightly, he didn’t even have the words to express how happy he was! He was practically beaming at you. “Of course, Yamaguchi! I couldn’t just miss one of the most important games of your season? What kind of friend would I be?” His smile lightly faltered at the sound of you saying “friend” but that didn’t matter! You were here and he needed to make sure he impressed not only you: but his team!

At the sound of your name, of course, the entire Karasuno team whipped their heads around. Their collective thoughts were: “Y/N? Isn’t that the girl who Tsukishima yelled at?” “That poor girl, I’m glad she’s feeling better.” “That pretty girl who gave Tsukishima a plushie?” “The girl that Hinata wouldn’t shut up about for a week?” “The nice girl who gave the team food?” “The pretty girl who gave us food!” and Tsukishima’s thought, “fuck.”

After the team had talked to you well, everyone but Tsukishima you decided to see the Shiratorizawa team again, mostly to say that everything went okay and to remind Tendou not to taunt Karasuno too harshly.

“Hello, Y/N. I’m glad to see you’re cheering for us during the tournament. The team seems very happy to see you, and I am as well.” The booming voice of the one and only Ushijima Wakatoshi making you squeak a bit. Of course, hearing his best friend’s voice greeting you also brought Tendou walking over. “Ah, Thank you Ushijima, it means a lot! I really wanna support you all before your game.”

“Hey! It’s awesome to see ya back? Didn’t you talk to Karasuno? “ He tilted his head and wrapped an arm around you “How'd that go, Miracle-girl?” Of course, he expected your response of: "It went pretty well, I ignored Tsukishima and he ignored me. The team was super nice to me though!"

Tendou was honesty glad you ignored him; but, he didn't give you an apology? He had the perfect time to redeem himself, not only you: but himself, and to Tendou. Now, with this information, he isn't backing down from his plan.

...

It was now mid-game, Shiratorizawa and Karasuno seemed to be on the same level. You were gripping the edge of your seat, torn on who to cheer for. You saw Tsukishima and Tendou right across from each other, the only thing operating them was the thick tension; and of course, the net.

You could practically see the faux smile on Tendou’s face; and before you knew it, he was mocking Tsukishima. “Well, if it isn’t ‘Mr. Vanilla’! Glad to see you’re still on your heartbreak streak!” Tsukishima scowled in response, what is this guy saying? What did he mean? “What are you going on about?” the rude response just meant that Tendou had found the right guy! “Oh, you can’t forget about how you made my Miracle-Girl cry, I know you know exactly what I’m talking about.” The whole court went cold, either with frustration or shame.

Tendou knew how to push buttons, how to make a team crumble at the knees with just a few choice words, and after what this tall asshole did to you, he’d make sure to throw hard verbal punches. He wasn’t going to leave his best friend out of this, he didn’t exactly defend you at all! He just let Tsukishima do whatever he liked to both him and you, Tendou was doing this for the greater good: you.

...

After the game, Shiratorizawa was heartbroken, they lost to the underdog team, so who wouldn’t be upset because of this. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want them to win; they were so nice to you, but this is what they get for underestimating the power of Karasuno.

On the other side of the court, Karasuno was losing their shit. They’ve never been able to go to nationals for the past couple of years, so this means that they finally get to redeem themselves in the eyes of the public!

But for you, this meant dealing with opposite spectrums of emotions from both teams. You decided to go see Tendou first, you could only imagine how he felt. “Tendou, Ushijima, are you okay? I’m worried about you two especially.” you looked up at the two to see their hanging heads, the blank stare coming from Ushijima was absolutely terrifying. He didn’t respond, he just stood there, frozen. Seeing this, you decided that you didn’t want to accidentally anger him and looked to Tendou; he was crying. 

You grabbed him and hugged him, he fell in your arms and just cried for a bit. You rubbed his back as he let out choked sobs, whispering that he was amazing on the court and that he was a winner in your eyes. He looked up at you, eyes puffy and irritated, “You really are my paradise, aren’t you?” he chuckled sadly and took your hands in his. “You have no idea what you mean to me, what your words mean to me... I wish there was a better time to say this but fuck it,” he sighed, “I love you, not in a friendly way, but it’s become more than that. I see you every day, yet I can’t get you outta my head... I remember that day when you were crying on the street, that’s when I fell for you.” He looked back down to our connected hands and rubbed the back of your palms. 

With his words, you hugged him harder and even started crying, now he was the one rubbing your back whispering sweet words into your ears. You thankfully managed to babble a couple “yes”s after. His warm smile to you made your worries leave your side. He was your miracle boy, after all, is said and done.

...

On the other side of the gym; witnessing this display was Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, obviously torn:

 Yamaguchi was happy that you were happy, but of course the tang of pain in his own heart longed for you to hold him like that.

While Tsukishima was pissed; who was this guy? Why was he treating you like his girlfriend? Was he your boyfriend? Is that what he meant on the court? Either way, he was seeing his heart break right before his eyes.

The two boys watched as you hugged him, his eyes lighting up to meet your face.

...

“Paradise, can I kiss you please?” he was looking straight into your eyes, his seemed to be less red and puffy, and now energetic and happy. “Tendou, please let me wipe my face off, I’m kinda gross-” he responded with taking out a small pack of tissues and wiping your face off for you, your giggles resonating in the hard walls of the stadium. “There, my Miracle Girl; back to what I said earlier...” of course he’d get nervous after thinking about what he said, so you just cut off the silence with “I’m waiting, Satori.” That was all he needed to kiss you; his left hand holding your cheek as his right was resting in your hair. His lips were chapped yet sweet. You both melted in the kiss, breaking it to breathe, resting your heads on each other. “Satori, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, my paradise.”

...

After seeing the display of love, Tsukishima left. He didn’t have time to ponder about how your warm hand would feel in his hair, your soft lips on his, he didn’t have time for love. He didn’t like it, the feeling of heartbreak. If he didn’t fall in love with you, he could’ve avoided the stress of seeing you happy with that bastard.

Yamaguchi stayed, seeing that Tsukishima needed some time alone. He was so happy for you! But like always, a part of him would wonder how it’d feel if your hand squeezed him, or your warm lips kissing him on the cheek each morning. He was happy, he swears he isn’t lying to himself.