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starry-bi-sky · 9 months ago

Text

Out of Context Stuff for a Danyal Al Ghul au i haven't posted - Pit Beast Danyal

Damian, 13: Look, Danyal, -- I am so sorry for everything that happened between us in the League, I hope you can forgive me.

Danny, 10 (allegedly): (has been secretly plotting to murder Damian this whole time, is still gonna do it obvs, but is going to make it significantly less painful now)

Danny: I-- of course, older brother. :]

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Bruce: what do you have there, Damian?

Damian:

Danny: (a hulking 10ft pit beast standing beside him, growling idly with ram horns gouging out his eyes and a second set of horns jutting into the air, spines down his back, and a long, spiked tail with an animalistic, skull-like face)

Damian, who smuggled him in (they've made amends): a smoothie, father

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Damian: this is my little brother Danyal, i murdered him when he was five. He festered in rage for the last half-a decade, took over a League mountain base in Switzerland, murdered everyone inside and then tried to murder me when I went to investigate with Drake.

Danny: hello!

Damian: we're cool now

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Damian: thoughts on resurrection

Danny, (a full ghost): i will succeed in murdering you if you try it

Damian: we'll put a pin in it then

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Danny (still instilled with League values): why don't we just murder him??

Damian, on patrol (Danny followed him): we don't murder people, Danyal

Danyal:,,,,are you sick, Dami?? Have you been possessed? Why not!?

(There is raucous laughing through the comms)

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Danny, five, pre-death: Dami! :D

Danny, dead, vengeful: Older brother (:

Danny, post-forgiveness: Dami! :]

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For some actual context: Danny is fully dead in this au, its a result of the classic DPxDC Demon Twins "death duel" trope but instead of Danny getting revived, he stays fully dead. Danny was five, Damian was seven. His ghost lingered though, and due to the proximity of the pits his ghost steadily absorbed the ambient energy it was letting off. The pits are not corrupted ectoplasm in this au, it's just liquid ecto.

Which means Danny's corruption from an angry and hurt little ghost boy to an unrecognizable monster is from his own doing. It's a result of him stewing in his hurt and anger for years, it physically warped him. He's very powerful. Danny can travel between League Bases but chose a small, out-of-the-way base in the Swiss mountains to fester in and then just. Never Left.

His influence steeped into the very foundations of the building, allowing him to transform and warp the rooms and hallways for his own bidding, Meaning he could turn it into a seemingly unending labyrinth if he so wished to, and block the entrance.

Eventually, blinded (both metaphorically and physically) by his own rage, Danny grew powerful enough to appear physically in the living realm and attacked everyone in the base, slaughtering them all and leaving the base abandoned. He attacks anyone who dares enter -- whether that be other league members, or the unfortunate hiker who stumbled across the base. His conscious is steeped into every nook and cranny of the building, there is nowhere you can hide where he can't find. Nobody leaves without his explicit say so. Nobody ever does.

Him appearing as ten years old before Damian in the skits above is his own physical doing. First it was to prevent Damian from being suspicious of him. Damian initially thought Danny was revived with the pits, he was too busy with his own training afterwards to notice that Danny never showed up again, and when he did notice, he assumed it was because Danny was too ashamed of his loss to face him. He'd always forget to ask about him.

Then it becomes a personal choice to appear as ten. It's how old he would've been had he been alive.

danny forgiving Damian is kinda for an offshoot branch of the main au. Whereas the main au takes the form of a ps4 first person horror game where Damian and Tim are investigating the Base for Plot Reasons. There's no sign of the rumored "monster" living inside until the end, where Danny, who was found inside the Base and has been happily "helping" them look around, manages to persuade Damian into splitting off from Tim in order to "show him something."

This something turns out to be Danny revealing that he never really forgave Damian for that fight, and he reveals through a horrifying transformation, that he was the monster the whole time. Which the game subtly hints at throughout as Danny's strange behavior becomes harder to ignore.

First from his insistence to only refer to Damian as "older brother" (when before the duel he always called him Damian or Dami), to him right off the bat denying the existence of a monster when questioned. ("There's no monster here, older brother. It's just me.") To other various things, like his knowledge of the outside world not matching up to modern times or things going on with the league outside of the base, or what happened to the other league members.

This whole idea was inspired by the song "Scylla" from Epic the Musical, with Danyal being the voice of Scylla as well as Odysseus, while Damian stands as Eurylochus. The instrumentals after Scylla says "hello" is him turning into the pit beast, and Scylla's "drown in your sorrow and fears" part is danny, as the pit beast, snarling at Damian while he attacks him.

There's a Good Ending, a Bad Ending, and a True Ending. The Bad Ending results in Damian being killed by Danny, it happens when Damian decides not to question or suspect Danny and treats him kindly. The Bad Ending is a cutscene, where Danny kills Damian quick and painlessly.

Meanwhile the Good Ending is Damian killing Danny. This is a boss fight, and it happens when Damian treats Danny coldly and suspiciously the whole time. Danny as a result, decides to make Damian's death painful as he had planned to, which is why it's a boss fight because it only causes him to double down on his anger.

The True Ending is Damian escapes with Tim. It happens when you treat Danny warmly up until the last minute, where when Danny proposes to Damian that he wants to show him something, Damian goes to talk to Tim and finally, reluctantly agrees that something is off with Danny, and that he'll be careful going in. It starts off with the boss fight until a third through, where it then changes to a cutscene where Tim manages to get the door open and Damian escapes out. It's then a chase scene down a never-ending hallway as the building actively works to keep you trapped inside. But you eventually make it to the exit so long as you avoid all the projectiles and doors.

Remember when I mentioned that Danny only lets people leave when he wants them to? That's where the treating Danny kindly throughout the game comes into play. It causes him to second guess himself and, eventually, reawaken and strengthen the love and admiration he had for Damian prior to his murder. It's why in the Bad Ending he kills Damian quickly -- because by then, he loves him enough that he doesn't want him to suffer, but is still so consumed by his rage and need for vengeance that he kills him anyways. That quiet part is what allows Damian (and Tim) to find the exit, because some part of Danny still loves Damian enough that he wants him to live.

The True Ending ends with a cutscene of Damian and Tim tumbling out into the snow/grass outside of the base. Damian looks up back to the entrance to see Danny standing there. But rather than a ten year old boy, there's a little five year old Danyal Al Ghul instead. He stares at Damian emotionlessly, blood seeping from his chest, staining his clothes, and little, bloody sword in his hands and tearstains on his cheeks, before he turns away and disappears back into the building.

#dpxdc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #danyal al ghul au #danny phantom #dpxdc crossover #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpdc #pit beast danny #danyal al ghul #dpxdc au #damian and danny forgiveness route is kinda like a post-true ending idea where damian decides to return to the base and find a way to help #danny.#and also because nobody in that fucking family processes grief in any kind of sane way he is also plotting a way to resurrect his dead #brother with the lazarus pits. he just needs to find where he was buried. and also hopefully get danny's permission. he's gonna do it anywa #but it'll be nicer if danny agrees to it beforehand. that way danny isn't angry with him when he eventually revives him #also if tim dies at any point during the game you have to restart to your last save point. there's not many opportunities for him to becaus #danny is honestly not that interested in him but its still there. some details for the game: danny's pit beast model has the highest #resolution out of everything there. meanwhile his human model has the lowest. he also lacks a shadow and his voice carries a strange echo #that's subtle enough to sound like an accidental audio mistake. his voice gets more warped as the good ending progresses and becomes more #human during both the true and bad ending. it indicates his forgiveness and growing care for damian. while in the good ending he gradually #grows more pissed.#danny has shit eyesight as a result of his eyes being gouged out for years. but since he's literally one with the building he doesn't #need any help walking through it. he can travel it with his eyes closed. if he's anywhere else though he needs to be holding onto something #he also has one eye covered in bandages in his ten year old form because he can't get that eye to heal and look human.

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monako-jinn-stories · 1 year ago

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Echo X Fem! Reader FanFic

A Returning Echo ~ After the Citadel

Main Master List

Story Master List

Part Thirty Nine

Part Forty One

I'm barely alive and not kicking but here I am battling depression and anxiety with alcoholism and nicotine addiction WOOHOO COLLEGE IS SO FUCKING GREAT

ANyways I'm hoping to be 'back' soon so here's something I've been working on for months

Hope yall are well

Part Forty

As you stare at Tayah’s sickly yellow eyes, you feel the entire universe collapsing around you. Anakin is silent at your side, and you feel his discomfort rising. He’s just lost his padawan, and now you’re being given an offer to save someone close to you, bring them back to the light.

“I can go wait outside,” Anakin offers.

“I would prefer to keep you where I can see you,” Dooku replies, his eyes briefly leaving you to glance at the Jedi Knight. “I am sure you have a lot of internal conflict, but I advise you to make your choice quickly.”

“I-” you start, but then you bite your tongue, unable to speak the words. You stare at Tayah, noticing how helpless and desperate she looks. It’s as though even through the curse she’s pleading for you to help her. You glance at Anakin for help, and you already know what he’s thinking. You want to shake your head, knowing that his idea won’t work. But it’s at least worth a shot, right? “I’ll give myself up,” you say, “but release her curse first.”

“Now now, young one,” Dooku says while shaking his head, “I know better than to trust you deceitful Jedi.”

“I’ll prove my surrender,” you say before unclipping your lightsaber and using the force to pass it to him. He takes hold of it and examines it, a smirk residing on his lips.

“This will make a fine addition to Grievous’s collection,” he says before clipping it somewhere under his cloak. Next, you walk over to stand in front of him, and he motions for Tayah to get up and join you. She glares at you the entire time, eyes filled with the look of murder. “Tayah, you are now released from the sith curse,” he says while waving a hand above her head. You wait, hoping for something to happen, although you know it won’t. This has been pointless, you can’t take the sith curse away from someone. They have to give up the darkside themselves.

Tayah blinks a few times, confusion swirling in her eyes before she looks up at Dooku. “Master? What curse?”

A low, slow chuckle begins deep inside Dooku’s chest, and before you can get yourself back to your senses, his hand is around your neck and your back is pressed against his chest. He’s just barely choking you, and his lightsaber is held just millimeters from your throat. “You foolish Jedi,” he says in a humored tone, “you know there is no such thing as a curse to turn someone to the darkside.”

“It was worth a shot,” Anakin counters, igniting his own lightsaber. Dooku’s saber gets closer to you, and you stare at Anakin with wide eyes.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Dooku says, and you feel his hand loosen on your throat as he moves it to the back of your neck. You tense up, but then his arm is sticking out to the side. “Tayah, shall we show these Jedi all that you have accomplished so far?”

You feel your blood drain as you realize what’s about to happen. You want to scream, but all sound refuses to come out. When she steps forward, she ignites your lightsaber, and the green glow contrasts greatly with her orange skin and yellow eyes. You can remember the first time you’d shown her your lightsaber, how her eyes were silver like Kwol’s back then.

“You don’t have to do this, Tayah,” Anakin says, holding his hand out, “you can come back with us. We can save you.”

“Don’t listen to his lies, Tayah,” Dooku counters, “remember how they abandoned you. How they never went searching for you.”

“We did all that we could, Tayah,” Anakin says, shaking his head, “we never gave up on you.”

“Why isn’t she talking,” Tayah questions slowly and quietly, her head turning to look at you briefly before refocusing on Anakin. “She’s the one who let me get taken.”

“I’m so sorry, Tayah,” you finally speak, “I tried, I did all I could, but when they jumped to hyperspace…We had no idea where they took you.”

“Why didn’t you use the force? You always told me about how you could use it to feel where people are.”

“It’s not that simple,” you counter.

“Yes it is!” she screams, grip tightening on her lightsaber.

“I promise I would have come to you if I was able to!” you plead back, hoping to calm her down.

Dooku’s arm tightens around you, and you resist the urge to struggle in his grasp. “Quiet down, young Num,” he says quietly, “let’s watch this first.” His hand comes up and covers your mouth, and if it weren’t for the gloves on his hands, you would have tried to bite him. “Begin, Tayah.”

With that simple command, Tayah launches herself forward, a growl coming from her as she moves toward Anakin. In defense, he quickly grabs his own lightsaber and ignites it to block her strike. She’s small and quick, but Anakin is still more skilled than her. You watch in horror, unable to say or do anything while trapped in Dooku’s arms.

“This isn’t you,” Anakin says as he backs away from a slash, “you don’t have to give your life away, Tayah!”

“You don’t know me,” she growls back, and when their sabers clash together, something clicks in you.

You take a deep breath through your mouth before you clamp your teeth down on Dooku’s covered palm, at the same time stomping on his foot. His grip loosens just enough for you to slip an arm backwards and grab one of his sabers. You ignite it just as he moves away from you, narrowly avoiding getting cut by it. He ignites the saber he still has and you lunge forward to clash with him.

“No matter what you do, she is already too far gone,” Dooku states as he swings at you. You bend back just in time and swing towards him, which he again dodges.

“You don’t know that!” you shout as you shift into a better stance, “you’ve never tried to bring someone back!”

“You’re right,” he says, “but I tried to fight the urge myself. I tried to fight for your father’s sake, but it didn’t work.”

“Tayah isn’t you, she has family that loves her. Family that wants her back! She won’t be alone!”

“And you think that I would have been alone if I had reached out?” Dooku questions. “What about your father? Don’t you think that he would try to help his former master?”

“I didn’t know my father well,” you start, “but from what I’ve heard about him from others, he would have done anything to bring his master back to the light side.”

“That is the problem with you Jedi,” Dooku says before his eyes flash yellow. He thrusts his hand out, and you can’t dodge the force lightning that strikes your body. “You believe that everyone can be saved, when in fact, not many can be. Myself and Tayah included. You end up slaughtering more people than you save because you are blinded by pointless optimism.”

You scream as you writhe on the ground, and the shouts from Anakin are barely heard by you. You don’t see when Anakin gets angry, but in a matter of moments he’s slashing his saber toward Dooku and you are relieved of the force lightning.

“Look at you! A Jedi flinging an innocent child to the ground!” Dooku’s words make you roll your head to the side and look for Tayah, and the sight of her crumbled on the ground spurs you into action. You reach out and pull a lightsaber towards you before pushing yourself off the ground and running to her.

“Y/n, I need your help!” Anakin yells, and you pause, halfway between him and Tayah. She still hasn’t moved, but you can feel her life force. She’s not dead, but she might be injured. “We can help her after we escape!” Anakin shouts, and you give a silent apology to Tayah for abandoning her again, and you turn and run back toward the dueling pair.

“Finally, a challenge,” Dooku sneers. “Fighting the daughter of my former padawan, and the padawan of his padawan. I can see him in both of you, but that is your weakness.”

You ignore his words and instead focus on blocking the swing of his saber. The force of his attack nearly knocks you down. It surprises you that an old man like him can be so strong, but then again, Yoda is one of the strongest Jedi you know, and he’s ancient.

“If only Obi Wan were here, that would be much more interesting of a fight,” Anakin jokes, but you just roll your eyes before rolling forward and trying to catch Dooku off guard. He jumps out of the way though, and you barely push yourself across the ground in time to avoid his strike.

“Perhaps I overestimated you,” Dooku comments as you stand back up, “I should have known that just because Qui-Gon was your father, that wouldn’t inherently give you skill. I knew Codo was a weak Jedi, it’s a shame that your potential was ruined by him.”

You feel a rush of anger run through you, and you begin acting with less control. How can Dooku stand here and spew hatred about those that once loved him? Those who were once his allies, comrades? People he had spent a majority of his life with, training and becoming closer with the force?

“Codo is far from weak,” you spew out, “he is one of the strongest Jedi I know!”

“He’s a delusional man who believes that he can follow a life of passivity. He ignores the war raging across the galaxy to keep his own conscience clean.” Dooku raises his sabers and swings at both you and Anakin at once, and the power of each shows just how strong he really is. You wonder if it’s purely his skill and strength, or if the dark side is aiding him as well.

“You’re wrong if you think that makes him weak,” you fire back while swinging at him. Your blade nearly clips him, but he moves out of the way just in time, dodging both you and Anakin. “It takes great strength to choose passivity in a time like this!”

“Passivity won’t bring the suffering to an end,” he counters, knocking you back and taking the opportunity to focus on Anakin. As you regain your balance, something coming from behind you feels strange. Your body seems to act on instinct, moving on its own. Anakin glances over to you in a free moment and you see his eyes go wide before he yells at you.

“Behind you!”

You don’t hear the words, but you see them play on his lips. You turn as if someone is controlling you, slashing your lightsaber back before you even look to see what’s–or who is there. You don’t need to, though, as you already know the presence there. Your eyes only take in her face the moment her life leaves her body. It’s like you’re watching everything in slow motion, but you can’t make it stop.

You feel your lightsaber cut through her neck, swiftly and effortlessly. You didn’t even hear any screams of pain, only the rage that had slipped from her as she ran toward you. Nor had you noticed Dooku tossing one of his sabers, which now rests at your feet, having slipped from her grasp as her body fell to the ground. Her head rolled to the side, the tips of her lekku cut and singed from your lightsaber.

You don’t even think about your next moves, you just act. Rage flows through your body, and your vision seems to go red. You feel the saliva flying out of your mouth as you scream in anger. Dooku’s name rings from your lungs as you act with more power than you’ve ever felt before.

It doesn’t register in your mind as Anakin backs off, nor do you notice the utter fear in his eyes as he watches you. You just swing, jab, slash, like there’s nothing else to life. Dooku’s face is contorted in an evil grin, and distantly you hear his chuckling. The noise spurs you on more, and you feel hot tears streaming down your face.

“You killed her!” you seethe out, the words barely more than snarls. Dooku stops chuckling then, and his face changes to one of pure hatred.

“I did not kill young Tayah,” he replies calmly. He pulls his saber back as you jump forward again, and he reaches his spare hand out as he finishes his sentence. “You, y/n Jinn, killed Tayah Caree with your own lightsaber, without a single thought against it.” You’re thrown back into the wall, all of your breath knocked from you by the force of the impact. Crumbling to the ground, you lay there, and in your mind you debate whether or not you should fight unconsciousness. You decide not to, as you don’t want to see the destruction you caused.

“Y/n, you have to tell them something.” Anakin is turned to face you as the ship flies through hyperspace. You’re staring out the viewport, trying to keep your mind off of the sight of Tayah’s headless body.

“Why? She was given to the Jedi Order, her family has had no contact with her or Ringo since. Nobody else is told when their children die, so why would I tell Ahni and Kwol?”

“Because they’re your friends, and Tayah was under your responsibility-”

“No, she was not under my responsibility,” you snap, turning in your seat to glare at him. “I have never been involved with the younglings except for a few lessons here and there. I do not take responsibility for her or for her life, or death for that matter.”

“But you’re the one who brought her here.” When you don’t answer, Anakin stares at you as if you’re crazy, but you stand your ground and don’t back down. “So you’re just going to burn her like any other Jedi? Not tell her family and just let her be dead? What about Ringo?”

“Ringo has likely felt the death of his sister through the force. There is no need to tell him, it’ll only distract him from his training.” Anakin shakes his head and looks away, and you turn back to the viewport. Is it really all that wrong to do this? It would keep so many people from hurting, and only you would bear the weight of knowing how she died. Well, you’ll probably tell Jawa Squad, they’ll know right away that something is up.

“Num is an interesting name,” Anakin comments, and you can tell he’s trying to lighten up the conversation, but it does the opposite.

“My only biological family other than my daughter is dead, and I only found out who I was supposed to be when it was too late. It’s not interesting, it’s utterly devastating.”

A deep sigh comes from him as he slumps in his seat, but he sits up again and turns to you. “You’re not the only one whose mother is dead you know.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you counter, “I didn’t realize that never having even known my mother was comparable to someone who got to spend most of his childhood with his.”

“I’m not comparing our tragedies,” he says, “I’m just saying that I know how it feels to not have a mother.”

“I’ve never had any sort of motherly figure to love me, at least you got some time with one.”

“Maybe that’s worse, because I know what I’ve lost, whereas you never knew her and don’t know who she was or what she could have been for you.”

“You’re right,” you sigh, “but I am a mother now, and with me being a Jedi, Echoa could have to grow up without me if something goes wrong. And Ahni is a mother who had to give up both of her children. We all have different pains, but that doesn’t mean one is greater than the others. From now on, just don’t mention that name.”

“Are you sure? What if we could look for some information about-”

“No,” you say, cutting him off, “I know everything I need to know. The more I find out, the more lost I’ll feel.”

“I understand,” Anakin replies as the ship leaves hyperspace. Coruscant glows below you, and for the first time it doesn’t feel like you’re returning home, it feels like you’re going to a cage. You feel like you’re even more lost than before, and nearly ask Anakin to turn around, but you know you can’t. You have to face the truth sooner or later, and you have to tell the Council what happened. You have to burn Tayah’s body in a proper Jedi funeral, but you know you won’t tell anyone who really cared for her. It’s better this way, you keep telling yourself. It’s better that they just move on, not knowing what happened to her, as at least they can still hope that she’s alive and well.

As he lands the ship, your mind jumps to Codo. You feel the color drain from your face as you imagine having to tell him what happened, what you have done. Is it possible that he can still love you the way he always has if you tell him you murdered your best friends’ child? Will he understand that it was out of instinct and to protect yourself? Or will he merely see it as you killing an innocent child who had needed your help to bring her back to the light?

Your mind then wanders to what Dooku had said about Codo and his passivity. Did he have a point?

“Y/n, it’s going to be okay.” Anakin’s hand rests on your arm as you pull yourself from your spiraling thoughts. You stop the trembling in your hands and take a deep breath. “I…I wish I knew what exactly to say, but I was there, so I know. I understand why it happened. I’ll be here if you need anything at all. Okay?”

“Okay,” you sigh, and he holds out his hand for you to take. You gently do, and he gives you a soft smile before pulling you in for a hug. Tears begin to well up in your eyes and before you can stop them, they spill down your cheeks. Anakin holds you tighter and you grip onto his shirt harder. “Why…why is it always me who suffers? Why do I always lose everyone?”

“I don’t know, y/n,” he replies, his hand rubbing at your shoulders, “I wish I could protect you more, you don’t deserve this.”

“Maybe I was just born cursed,” you sniffle, pushing back slightly to look up at him. “Do I look cursed?” He seems to be taken aback by your words as his eyes go wide and his mouth drops open. His expression quickly changes to one of sympathy as he shakes his head.

“No,” he starts, brushing his hand along your cheek. “You look like a strong Jedi master, a legendary queen, a ruthless and powerful warrior. You look like…” He trails off his words, confliction seeping into his eyes.

You shake your head, knowing why he had stopped. Who are you really? Y/n Monako? Y/n Jinn? Can you possibly be Y/n Num? “Thank you, Anakin,” you reply, wiping your tears from your face.

“I’m always here for you,” he repeats. As you close your eyes and take a steadying breath, he leans down and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. “I wish we could have grown up together. Maybe we would have been able to save each other.”

“I think we were both always destined to be this way,” you whisper, “but I will always love you as a brother.”

“And you’ll always be my little sister.”

You push back from him then, your mood suddenly changing. “Hold on, Skywalker. I'm the older sibling here.”

“But I’m taller,” he counters, “taller always means older.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“It’s just sad if someone is the older sibling and they’re shorter than their younger one.”

“Oh shut it. If anything, I’m the older one because I’m smarter than you.”

Anakin gasps and holds a hand to his chest, his face plastered with offense. “You are not smarter than me!”

“Bantha shit I’m not!”

“Prove it then!”

“What’s twelve plus five?”

“That’s not fair! You know I can’t do math!”

“Hence why I’m smarter than you!”

He huffs and folds his arms, eyes narrowing at you. “No, I don’t accept that. What’s the name of the system Felucia is in?”

“Well, its direct system is the Felucia system, but it is also a part of the bigger Outer Rim system,” you respond, folding your arms to mock him. He just huffs again and rolls his eyes, mumbling to himself as he grabs his cloak. You smirk triumphantly, but it doesn’t last long as you realize that now you have to take Tayah’s body to the funeral pyre.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Anakin asks, but you shake your head no.

“I think it’s best I do this alone,” you reply before adding “maybe I’ll have Codo there since he worked with her the most.”

“You still set on not telling her family?”

“Yes. I don’t need to deal with that right now. Maybe I’ll make the time for it in the future,” you say before using the force to lift up her body. You walk past him as you leave the ship, and for once you’re not greeted by your troopers in the hangar. You hadn’t commed them to let them know you were returning, and they might be getting worried by now, but you have something important to do.

“I’ll see you around then, y/n,” Anakin says before turning away and walking toward the elevators. You sigh and raise your wrist up, comming Codo to ask him to meet you in the funeral room. You then comm Jawa Squad to let them know that you’re safe and back on Coruscant, but it’ll be a little while before they can see you.

~~~

When the door to the funeral room opens, Codo comes in quietly, followed by a small figure. At first you assume it’s Yoda, for obvious reasons, but then you realize it’s exactly who you didn’t want to be here. Ringo shuffles around to stand at Codo’s side, and you can already tell he knows about Tayah.

“Auntie y/n…?” he says quietly, “is that…Tayah?”

You glance from him to Codo, letting out a sigh before nodding. “Yes, it is. She…there was an accident. We tried to save her, but she was too far lost. I’m sorry, Ringo.”

“It’s okay,” he replies while looking down. “I felt her come to me after she died. She said she’d always be here for me. And with me. Master Daawa said it’s a force connection between us since we were twins.”

“I knew something had happened, I felt it as well. There was a disturbance when she left us,” Codo explains. “Is there anyone else who is coming to say goodbye to her?”

“No,” you say, “there’s no one else who needs to be here.”

“What about-”

“No.” You cut Ringo off swiftly, knowing what he had been about to ask. “They already said their goodbyes to you guys when you came here. I’m sorry, but they can’t be here. This is a sacred Jedi ritual, outsiders cannot observe it.” Ringo just nods and steps forward, reaching out to pull back the cloth covering Tayah’s body. “Don’t,” you say, quickly reaching out and moving his hand away. “It’s better if you don’t.”

“But…” Ringo trails off before looking pleadingly at Codo, who then looks at you.

“Are you sure he can’t see her? To give a proper goodbye?”

You take a breath before motioning for Codo to come over to you, wanting to whisper to him instead of speaking aloud. “She was…decapitated…” you say, “I don’t think it would be a good idea for him to see her like that.”

“I think it would help him to move on.”

“But it’ll be traumatizing.”

Codo thinks for a moment, looking back to Ringo who was patiently standing off to the side. “He’ll be fine. He’s strong enough, I can feel it, and I’ve seen it within him.”

“Fine,” you sigh, “but if he has a bad reaction, you’re the one responsible for helping him get through it.” You move back then, looking at Ringo. “You can look at her, but just know that it might not be what you want to see.”

“Okay,” Ringo says. He hesitantly steps forward, taking a moment before reaching up and pulling back the cloth. His face barely changes, and you see it flicker in his eyes for only a moment, but then he goes back to neutral. You realize he has better control over his feelings and emotions than you thought, especially because he is so young. “How did it happen?”

You bite your tongue, shaking your head. “I’d rather not talk about it. It just happened today. I need time to process it.”

“Okay. It probably won’t help to know. The energy just feels so…familiar around her. Like I know the person who did it…”

You take a deep breath and look up to the ceiling. Your emotions are pushing the limits of your control, but you make yourself calm down and proceed with the funeral. You can feel Codo’s eyes on you, questioning what is off about you, but you ignore it and focus on making sure everything goes to plan.

It’s a bit rushed, and definitely not clean, but it gets the job done. It doesn’t matter to you, not really. She’s already gone, and nothing can bring her back. The funeral was the best way to get her close to the Force, and that is your only goal. The only Jedi funeral you’d seen before was your fathers, and you weren’t the one leading it. You didn’t have time to learn how to do it properly, though, as you wanted to get this out of the way and move on. But with the end of the funeral comes the questioning from Codo.

“Are you alright to walk back to the dormitories yourself, Ringo?” Codo asks, and you immediately perk up and shake your head.

“I think you should take him, I need to catch up with the Jawa boys.”

“I know there is a lot on your mind, y/n. I would rather hear it now and help you than let it fester. Besides, Ringo is alright to go alone.”

“I think you should talk to him,” Ringo agrees, “I can sense your feelings as well.”

Strong with the force, while his sister was weak, you think to yourself. You watch Codo nod before Ringo leaves the room, and you follow shortly after, waiting for Codo to speak first. The air is tense between the two of you, and you can feel him walking further away from you than normal. You know why, he can probably sense it, but you don’t know if he’s strong enough to ask it.

“What happened?” Codo finally asks, and you stop walking to address him.

You meet his eyes, making sure you’re holding eye contact before you speak. You stare in a way that holds him there, daring him to look away from you and your truth. “I killed her. I had zero thoughts about it. She was running up behind me, I sensed the danger, I swung my saber back and severed her head.”

Codo shakes his head, still looking at you. “My child…this is not how I trained you.”

“You trained me–no, you raised me–to take care of myself. To sense danger and act on it. To not let myself become the victim.”

“That was not my teaching, that was your Dohbarian military training.” He shakes his head again, looking down now. “They trained you to kill, but I trained you to defend. I trained you to practice peace, they trained you to practice war.”

“Peace can’t be gained without war,” you snap back, anger now boiling through you. “I’m sorry that my people, my culture, turned me into a murderer. I’m sorry I can’t just turn my back on reality like you do! I’m sorry that I have the courage to fight for what’s right, and not just sit in my room and meditate for peace!” Your words get louder with each sentence, and you feel the tears welling in your eyes, but you don’t stop. You can’t stop. You don’t want to. “I’m sorry I’m actually trying to make a difference in this galaxy, that I’m out there risking my life to save people, while you’re sitting here in your peace and safety, watching the drama play out with a karking bag of mantell mix! I’m sorry I’m not a weak, incompetent, old man who can’t bother to actually do something to help end this war!”

You don’t linger around to see his response. You don’t even think he would’ve had one. You’ve never blown up on Codo before, but you’re an adult now. You have the right to defend yourself, especially if he’s disrespecting you and your people. The only thing you didn’t mention, but probably fed into, is the lingering thrill of acting emotionally.

When you fought Dooku after killing Tayah, you had let go. You let everything out, and you had the intention of trying to kill him, even though you knew you couldn’t. And when you blew up on Codo, you had done so with the intent of severing your ties with him, of showing him where the two of you stand in relation to each other. You wanted to show him his wavering importance in your life, and the increasing importance of following your instincts.

The silence in the room rings loud in your ears as Sans, Hex, Steele, and Aid wait for you to talk. You pour them cups of caf and add everything each one of them likes. It still surprises you that you can remember each of their ‘orders’, and manage to slip in a little surprise each time to watch their eyes light up. It doesn’t happen today, though.

“I found out what my mothers name was, and a bit about her,” you say, taking a sip from your own mug. “Well, just that she was a servant at Castle Serreno before she and her brother died.”

“You had an uncle?” Steele questions, his expression softening as he looked down. “I’m sorry, y/n.”

“His name was Estiv, and my mother’s Estia. Num was their last name—what I should have been named.”

“You wouldn’t have taken Jinn from your father?” Sans asks, and you shake your head no.

“If he wasn’t there to raise me with my mother, then I wouldn’t have acknowledged him until I came here. Although I suppose it would have been up to my mother what my name was, at least until I got older.”

Hex takes a drink before setting his mug down, letting Steele fiddle with a string on his undersuit’s sleeve. “I’d argue, respectfully and with my best understanding of your situation and life, that not growing up with your mother, or at least until you would have been brought here, was better than the life you could’ve had if that stuff had happened.”

You look at him with a questioning look, curious as to what he means. “You wouldn’t be the same person as the y/n we know today. You likely wouldn’t have been as strong or smart. You understand your troopers better than all other Jedi generals because you grew up in a culture that emphasized military experience. You’re a kriffing queen for maker’s sake! You could put any of these other Jedi in their place. Hells, you could get the senate or that damned Palpa-piss to sit down and shut up. You are the best leader this Republic has, and if you hadn’t been raised the way you were, by who you were raised, you wouldn’t be these things. We’d probably all be dead if not for you and your leadership.”

You can’t help the small smile that comes to your lips as he speaks, and you look down and take another sip. It doesn’t take long for your smile to drop, though, remembering all that has happened because of you. “Tie wouldn’t be dead if I wasn’t your leader. Bomber wouldn’t be either. Not to mention all the other troopers under my command. And Tayah…”

“You didn’t kill them,” Sans counters, “like Hex said, we all probably would have died sooner if not for you. It’s because of you that we had so much time together, and actually feel as though we’re special.”

“You are special,” you say, setting your mug down. “I just…I don’t know.”

“Did something else happen while you were at castle Serreno?” Hex questions, pulling his hand away from Steele.

“A lot happened,” you reply while leaning forward and resting your head in your hands.

“Did you want to talk about it or just have us take your mind off of it?” Aid asks before adding, “we’re here for you either way.”

“Thank you, Aid. All of you, thank you for always being here for me and dealing with my banthashit.” You lean back and sigh before looking back up at them and starting to explain everything. “It was all a major mess,” you say to start, “it…it turned into something that it never should have. And now we’re never getting Tayah back…”

“You can’t give up hope, y/n. You know that we’ll help you find her, no matter what,” Aid states.

“No…she’s dead,” you reply, shaking your head. “It happened so fast. Me and Anakin were fighting Dooku–well, initially it was Tayah attacking Anakin and I was fighting Dooku, but then Anakin pushed her away with the force. I thought she was knocked out well enough to not wake up, but I was wrong. I got caught up in us fighting Dooku and didn’t sense her wake, but I sensed a presence coming up behind me. I instinctively swung my saber back, as all I felt was evil. But then I turned and watched myself slice through her neck. After that, I lost my grip again. I just…lost myself in my emotions. I couldn’t stop myself from moving, and I felt myself consumed by the same darkness that surrounded Tayah. But this darkness…it felt powerful. Exhilarating. I almost didn’t want to stop, but then Dooku ended the fight pretty quickly.”

“How does it make you feel knowing that you enjoy the power of the…darkside?” Sans questions, straightening out his sleeves.

“I don’t know, honestly. Well, I guess it sorta makes me feel like the Order is restraining me, but I don’t want to turn into a sith.”

“Well, do the Jedi need to know what you do and how you act?” Hex asks before leaning back. “I mean, theoretically, how would they even know? Unless there was another general on a mission with you.”

“You have a point I guess,” you agree, “maybe I can somehow convince…never mind.”

“What?” Aid questions.

“I was going to say maybe I can convince Quin to join me on missions, since he’s not really a Jedi, but then I decided it was probably best to keep him out of the war. Trix doesn’t need anyone else dying on her.”

“Well, who knows. Maybe you can get Codo-”

“No, no way in karking hells am I going to go on a mission with that fishman!” you sneer, and all of their eyes widen at once.

“What hap-”

“I don’t want to talk about it. All you need to know,” you say while standing up and grabbing your mug, “is that I won’t be talking to him for the foreseeable future. I finally spoke my mind to him, and need to move on.”

With that, you walk over to the couch and sit down, waiting for them to join you. Slowly they do, and once they’re settled around you, the tears fall again. They all take turns holding you, with Sans being the most gentle. After a while, you end up falling asleep, and the boys lay you down on the couch and begin to leave. As they do, you wake up and call them back, telling them that you don’t want to be alone. You’ve been alone for too long in your life, you can’t stand another second of it.

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