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caffieneaddictt18 · 11 months

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Waterhaven Chalet

sorceress!reader is a mage who went to aretuza, but politics did not suit her. As such she took what she learned, magic wise, and left to the countryside. she now has a cottage/chalet where her and her friends can rest and be hidden off the map from the multitude of wards and protections she has around her chalet. sorceress!reader still practices magic but only practices water magic. geralt needs a place for him, ciri, and jaskier to stay after a long few days and she offers her stronghold. she plays host for a few days, and practices in between hosting. one day ciri finds reader practicing on a rock, in the middle of the river that runs by readers home. geralt sees ciri admiring reader and admires her as well. ends with ciri learning readers water magic/waterbending and jaskier having a new song about a dame who coulld part seas and make the waters bend to her will.

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"Ciri! Come!" Geralt gruffly beckoned the girl. They had been on the road for weeks, or even months, and they just went through another rough monster hunt that didn't pay much.

Geralt had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind after the third underpaid, overworked contract he took. Especially with trying to train Ciri in between contracts and outings, it was getting rough. Jaskier being with them made things easier because he was great at distracting Ciri when she needed to be. By the fourth contract, Geralt's body was begging for a rest... and he could think of only one place safe enough to hold both him and Ciri under the same roof.

Waterhaven Chalet

A mini castle that his friend had bought long ago. It was surrounded by wards that make it imperceivable to the naked eye. It was also protected by the most powerful sorceress Geralt knows. Y/N. There was no doubt she could protect the three of them plus herself.

They had met during a monster hunt of Geralt's. It was a simple Water Hag, but the monster had proven to be... quicker than most. Probably because it had fed more. Geralt still killed the Hag, but at the cost of what he was certain was his own life.

Of course... Destiny had other plans.

Y/N stumbled upon him as his vision was starting to darken and he could no longer keep himself in this sphere of existence. She had manipulated the waters to carry him back to her home where she nursed him back to health, sharpened his swords, refined his armor, and got him a new Roach. A pitch-black mare. Fitting for a man who carried the scent of death with him wherever the White Wolf went.

Geralt went on his way after Y/N nursed him to health but promised to return when he needed to.

And now he needs to. Ciri trudges after the man while Jaskier strums his lute to try and bring up Ciri's spirits. Geralt rides his pitch-black mare named Roach and leads the way to Waterhaven Chalet.

__________________time skip about a day________________

"Where are we going?" Jaskier asks, trying to stay hopeful that Geralt isn't just dragging them around the forest aimlessly.

"A place to rest," is all Geralt says before continuing to walk. Ciri was getting tired, so Geralt put her on Roach to rest.

"It's not winter... Are we going to Kaer Morhen even though it's not time yet?" Ciri, using her wits, tries to press Geralt of where they are going by backing his logic into a corner.

"A Witcher never has only one card up their sleeve, Ciri. Remember, the Witcher carries steel and silver swords. Why would we limit our options?" Geralt continues walking before looking around, checking for a sign that they might be close.

He finds one. embedded in a stone in the river that he has been following for the past 4 hours. Three rolling waves on wavy lines surrounded by a circle. The Chalet's crest. He was getting close to the border.

"OOH! Shiny!" Jaskier said, picking up a blue stone with the Chalet's crest from the forest floor.

"WHO DARES ENTER MY HOME?" A deep and booming, disembodied voice comes from nowhere. Jaskier screams and drops the engraved crystal.

"It's Geralt! I brought a couple of..." Geralt looks at the jumpy teen who had her sword out with a stone-cold face, and the frightened grown man who looked like he might piss himself, "friends."

"Oh no! Why didn't you say so earlier?" A soft and pitched voice still disembodied speaks. A woman wearing purple, and blue appears from thin-air and picks up the crystal that Jaskier dropped. She dropped to her knees at the edge of the river and held the crystal in the running water before imbuing with her magic and burying it once more. Deeper, this time.

"Well, I do believe introductions are in order, but let's get you cleaned up first." Y/N opened a 'door' in the barrier that showed her home, the Waterhaven Chalet. Geralt, Ciri, Roach, and Jaskier all made it through before she shut the 'door' on the protective wards.

Ciri was in awe at such a beautiful place. Jaskier was concerned and curious. Geralt was smirking. Roach wanted some apples and hay to have. Finally, a decent meal.

As the woman walked down the path, she turned to look back at the group. "Well, come on! The soup will burn! Its already sunset!"

Geralt smiles, chuckling and shaking his head before walking with Roach in tow. Ciri hopped off the back of the horse and started running to the woman. The two girls whispered to each other, beaming, before taking off down the road to the house. Jaskier was walking slowly, taking everything in; hoping he won't happen upon a magical landmine.

Geralt takes Roach to the stables, and holes her up there before entering the home.

"Geralt! Wash up and then come eat! Its savory potato soup!" The woman called to him. He smiled and tapped his boots like she showed him. He once stepped foot on her floors without tapping his boots. He still sweats thinking about the memory.

He goes to the basin that is near the door, and washes his hands, scrubbing with the rough stone to get the dirt out of his hands. He dries his hands on the towel she keeps near.

As he enters, he sees her gently stirring the enormous pot of soup. He stands there in peace, seeing Jaskier and Ciri play fighting with sticks through the window.

"Did you tap your boots before you walked into my home, Geralt?"

"Of course. I shiver at the thought of what might happen if I don't..." Geralt hesitates to say her name, "Desna."

The woman, Desna, pauses. "You remembered." She keeps on stirring her pot, ensuring nothing burns.

"How could I? The first time we met, you tried to kill me." Geralt sat down, probably in Jaskier's seat, seeing as a pint of blackberry-honey wine was already there.

"You intruded on my land. It's only fair to kill a trespasser who is as strapping and capable as you." Desna shrugs as she continues to stir, smelling the soup. "Ciri! Jaskier! It's time to come in!"

The two looked at each other, nodding in agreement, before racing for the door, tumbling through it. They almost leave the dirt mat before Desna speaks: "If you don't tap your boots and wash your hands, you will be meeting the monsters alone tonight."

The two freeze before taking a step onto the floor. Geralt chuckles, taking a drink of the wine.

They tap their boots and wash their hands in the basin. They then go to their seats, Jaskier pouting that Geralt stole his seat. Desna laughs and shakes her head, gathering another mug for his wine. Desna grabs the bowls and scoops the soup for all of them.

"For tonight, my specialty, Savory Potato Soup. It's got potatoes, carrots, cream, cheese, bacon, and onions. So very yummy." She hands everyone their bowls and sits next to them. Her cat, Kore, brushes up against everyone's legs as she gnaws on the chicken carcass that Desna left for her.

"Thank you... Desna..." Geralt thanks their host before the other 2 nod and continue wolfing down the soup.

"Eat it slowly. You'll burn yourself, choke, or both." Desna nods as accepting their thanks. ______________________________________________________________

One day, Desna walks around and grabs all of her dirty laundry. As she plops it outside at the washing station, she shakes her head and goes inside with a basket on her hip.

As she knocks on Jaskier's door, Geralt walks down the hallway. "Oh, Geralt. Do you have any laundering that needs to be done? I'm doing some right now and thought I would do everyone's."

"Yes. I'll have it outside the door when you walk by it again."

"Thank you, Geralt." The hunkering man walks away, leaving deep sounds to echo in the hall.

Jaskier opens the door. "Hey, Jaskier. Do you have any laundering that needs to be done?"

He looks mortified. "Good god, woman. Don't tell me you're going to be doing everyone's laundry!" You shrug.

"Well, in that case..." Jaskier hurries off to get his laundry, clearly not affected anymore. Jaskier comes back and plops it in the basket on your hip. "Thank you, Desna!"

"Anytime, Jaskier!" Desna walks off towards Ciri's room, where it seems Geralt had visited. Ciri's laundry was already in front of her room, and as Desna was walking past Geralt's room once more, she could see his laundry in front of his door. Desna silently thanks the man and puts the laundry in the basket with everyone else's.

When Desna has everyone's laundry outside, she looks to the clearwater stream and does a few movements to pull a stream of the water towards her and into the bucket that she washes the clothes in. Desna does a little happy dance and washes everyone's clothes carefully and thoughtfully.

Once Desna finishes, she hangs everyone's clothes on their own wire, so as to not confuse anyone's clothes. Not that they could.

Geralt's were enormous. And always an off-black shirt, black pants, and black everything. Perfectly comfy to wear around the house...

Ciri's clothes were smaller than the others. She also had mismatching pants and shirt. Her pants were a deep blue, almost black, whereas she had a green shirt, stained by rolling around in dirt and grass.

And Jaskier's clothes were almost gaudy. All in varying colors and still dirt stained but hidden within the crevices of the snakeskin pattern and metallic bronze-gold shirts. The one normal shirt he had was 2 or 3 sizes smaller than Geralt's and off-white instead of off-black. ______________________________________________________________

It has been a couple weeks since the group has come to Waterhaven Chalet, and Desna can feel it.

She can feel it in the routine of the group. Ciri training with Geralt as Jaskier sits outside with his lute. Geralt tends to Roach and Ciri takes a bath. Jaskier comes in and helps make dinner to the best of his abilities. It always ends in a laugh, and always at someone else's expense. Once, Geralt got flour in his hair and Jaskier joked that he could pass for blonde.

She can also feel it in the stagnant energy. As much as she has been wanting to, she hasn't used her magic in a while. She can feel the dust settling in corners that are normally swirling with energy and the wind that used to flow through the windows, but now seems to avoid them.

The wonderful routine this group has is silently killing her.

Desna puts on a pair of pants that have slits down the sides and a shirt that covers her top half without sleeves or any straps. She walks outside, putting her hair into a ponytail, and to the stream. She walks along the bank of the stream until she comes across a spot where it widens. She notices a rock in the middle and touches her foot to the water, turning it to a patch of ice. It continues as she walks to the big boulder in the middle, and she sits onto it. As she sits, she listens to the water. The splash of a fish. The gurgle of water flowing in small spaces. The rocks tumbling with the flow of the water.

Once she finally finds peace, she slides down the rock and walks back to next to the Chalet. There is a small clearing of trees next to her for easy access to the stream. This...

This place... will be her peace.

As soon as a bird chirps a specific note, her body finds the flow. The flow of the water around bigger stones. The flow of the fish that swim around her feet. They aren't biting her or anything. Just swimming downstream. The sounds of the wind rustling the green leaves.

Every splash,

Every gurgle,

Every bit of animal and Earth,

It all seems to come together.

She understands the song Mother Earth sings...

And she dances.

______________________________________________________________

As Ciri goes out to talk to Roach, something catches her eyes. She sees water swirling around. Almost like a whirlpool... or just the lip of one.

As she approaches, she puts her hand on her sword. Ciri has no idea who or what this is. What can make water behave this way.

It could be a mage... But what's a mage doing on the grounds of Waterhaven?

It could be an elf... but no elves have been said to possess the abilities to control any elements of the world, other than Chaos.

Geralt looks on from afar, in his window, only seeing the occasional flick of glinting light from the water. He smiles and turns away from the window.

Ciri continues on, not knowing what might await her at the stream. She sneaks up on the thing, trying to get a good look at it without making herself obvious.

"Having fun peeping?"

Ciri just about yelps before Geralt puts a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet.

"You know... she hasn't felt right. She does this every day. And because of us, she's missed doing this for weeks. Leave this to her." Geralt guides Ciri's head to just above the brush so she can see Desna.

Desna.

The woman who took care of them. The woman who washed their clothes and refilled their baths. The woman who fed them.

The one who laughed with Jaskier.

The one who made Geralt smile.

The one who showed Ciri all the things a mother or older sister would.

As Geralt and Ciri are crouched, making no noise, they continue to watch Desna do what she does best. Magic. The water seems to glow around her and flow along her arms as she dances with the stream, never tripping, never swaying, never second-guessing.

Until someone makes a twig snap.

It all happens so fast. Geralt pulls Ciri to the ground and grabs Jaskier by the ankle, pulling him down just before a spike of ice impales him.

"You should show yourself... It will only be worse if you hide." A deep and frightening voice carries through the trees. No footsteps could be heard and nothing living could move.

When people talked about a force of nature, they talked about Desna.

Geralt slowly stood, followed by Ciri and finally Jaskier. They could all see Desna as she was as though there was a threat.

She was surrounded with a ring of water, ice spikes in a circle around her, and walking on the water. Her eyes were surrounded by darkness and glowed blue. When she walked, her hips swayed as though walking on stairs.

Immediately, she let go of the ice and water, letting herself back into the stream. Her eyes no longer glowed, and the highlights of her face came back. "Oh! I am so sorry! You have no idea how many mages try to slip through the wards."

"You are so cool!" Ciri's eyes seemed to light up at the display of power Desna contains.

"Whoa... The Lady of The World..." Jaskier seemed to already be planning a song.

Geralt merely smiled and Desna winked at him.

What a cute family...

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Author's Cup of Tea:

Okay, so I have been working on this for a while now and I am so happy to have this out of my drafts. I'm so excited for you all to read this.

#witches #witch reader #witchcraft #x reader #geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia x you #geralt x reader #geralt x you #geralt of rivia #witch!reader #geralt x witch!reader #pagan!reader #pagan #pagan witch #waterbending #geralt x sorceress #geralt x sorceress!reader #sorceress!reader

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roseofhybrids · 1 year

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Human Uzi AU:

J forces N and V to follow Uzi at school so that they can keep her safe. This goes as well as you can expect.

Uzi once sarcastically called J mom and for a while everyone thought that she’s her stepmother. Nori almost killed Khan because she thought that she got together a Disassembly Drone and J almost had a stroke when one of Uzi’s teachers called her Mrs J Doorman.

Nori tried to keep hidden from Doll her AS powers until Doll accidentally blew up a roach. She then revealed to the young girl her powers in order to calm her down and began teaching her how to control them so that she wound end like her. When she discovers that she killed a bunch of school kids as a part of a plan to kill V Nori gets so pissed that she locks Doll in her room and refuses to let her out, no matter how badly Doll begs her. When Uzi accidentally finds her she’s not in a good mental state due to the AS and when she tries to help her sister Doll tries to drink her oil before being stopped by V and going on the run outside of the bunker out of shame of what she did. This incident is also the event that leads to Uzi finally realizing after lots of denial that she’s an human being due to the injuries Doll accidentally gave her.

Tessa tries to teach Uzi more about humans so that when they’ll leave the planet she’ll manage to integrate herself more easily. Hilarity ensues.

One thing to decide upon is whether Uzi tries to let Doll out of the room immediately upon finding her, or she first tries to talk to her through the door. Option two would allow more time for the two to somewhat bond, but would require some extra work. As you'd need something to fill in the time between Uzi's visits, and that stuff would need a little bit of substance lest it feel like complete filler. The more positive interactions you have between the two, the more it'll hurt to see Doll run off after accidentally hurting Uzi. (This part also has some parallels to how she met N. Opening a door to face an oil hungry monster. Only this time it doesn't go so well.)

Depending where on the timeline you put Doll's imprisonment, Part of Uzi's help could start off as her trying to get answers out of Doll. That can either remain her main motivator or evolve into sympathy towards Doll and wanting to actually help her despite the two not getting along before. Adding more weight to the attack.

Speaking of said attack-

Now we know that the disassembly drones are significantly stronger than the workers. But the workers aren't exactly weak either, at least not with a human around to compare them to. Tessa describes them as industrial machinery, we see Uzi put a significant bend in a metal wrench in episode 2 before her solver powers fully manifest, and we see J bite through a link in a metal chain with some effort. Which makes sense. They are, at least in part, mining robots after all.

All this to say, Doll could just absolutely destroy one of Uzi's limbs if you wanted her to. Depending on what one wants to happen, it can range from broken done, to significant irreparable damage, to complete removal of a limb just from Doll biting her.

Now, if you lean towards the heavy damage end of the scale, this can play into the idea of Uzi trying to replace parts of herself with machinery. Say Doll bit into an arm, and because of how badly it was damaged Uzi had either have it replaced entirely, or augmented to make up for the injury. Which in her mental state could spark the idea to try and become a full on robot. Up to you whether that leads to her actually going through with giving herself other augmentations Cyberpunk style, or if she just plans/attempts to but is stopped.

In addition. If one subscribes to the Tessa missing arm theory, this could also create a connection between the two. Tessa helping Uzi get used to having a prosthetic, evolving into telling her about humans in general.

#murder drones #au #murder drones au #human uzi

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quillyfied · 11 months

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Okay next batch of episode thoughts that I don’t know that I can expand into real coherent thoughts so heck it we’re doing it live and cramming them together, no chronology just memory vibes, PART THREE:

- proud member of the “clocked those clocks” gang, literally said out loud “oh those clocks are bombs” AND!!!!

- And pair that with Stede’s “you never see the mediocre guys coming” SHE LITERALLY DID NOT

- Going back in time to the start of that endeavor, though, the tension and discomfort in watching Ricky and Zheng interact was just…it was a lot. Bc she’s trying her best to good cop/bad cop him, and it’s worked on every other person she’s tried it on (because she’s amazing at it and uses her own chronically overlooked charms as both a woman and a woman of color to make herself seem less threatening than she is until she drives home the point), but. Ricky is sort of a foil to Stede in that he’s an odd duck in aristocratic circles thinking that playing pirates will soothe something in him; the difference is that Ricky is an arrogant bastard down to his bones and has that Rich White Man thing of “if I can’t dominate this field then I will burn it down.” Zheng accidentally handing him the keys to destroying piracy is just. Oof. Ouch. Yikes.

- But!!! BUT!!! Zheng’s plan of “for a livable wage we will stop” is, to my memory, actually historically accurate!! China did have to pay her to stop. Twice, I believe. I might be wrong. I’ll be honest, I just watched the Puppet History episode about her when it came out and did no further research. But I should tbh.

- Patiently waiting for Calypso’s Birthday to be incorporated into the tumblr holiday pantheon. Wish we knew what day it was in-show.

- I looked up Ned Low bc I hadn’t heard of him (and oh the sweet irony in that), and was, I think, rightfully horrified and then greatly anticipatory for what was to come.

- And what do we get? Here’s another fancy lad who treats people as disposable and pokes right at Stede’s most vulnerable spots. And also has the most unhinged one-liners like I’m sorry your death was so well-deserved bc watching him verbally spar across the episode was a surprising delight.

- Not nearly as delightful as Stede dealing with the problem by unionizing Ned’s crew, and Lucius and Pete being the ones left to try and rush in and save the crew (thank goodness Stede had it handled, and OH MY WORD STEDE HAD IT HANDLED)

- Hellkat Maggie! A delight! And possibly historically real? One moment please.

- Holy crap she was! Not a pirate, actually an Irish American gangster in the mid 1800s, but heck!! Filed teeth and everything!

- And while I’m on Wikipedia: Zheng Yi Sao only surrendered/was paid to stop piracy once. But what a dramatic story that makes.

- Anyway can we stop everything to talk about how we got IZZY HANDS SINGING. AND WEE JOHN IN DRAG!!!!

- Also glad to see I wasn’t mistaken, Roach was actually laughing his head off for the torture sequence. Of course he was.

- Fang hanging off the side with the goat though ;A;

- Also a hearty congrats to all the fic writers who not only called that Ed would not handle Stede being tortured well, but who also called that the “going slow” thing. Maybe. Wasn’t gonna last. I have a whole emotional maelstrom going over that so let’s unpack it a bit at a time.

- First, though: the Boatmance throuple dancing. I cry.

- Second: Stede going defensive over not just Ed, but all of his crew. Like a lot over Ed, bc Ned was a grade-A racist classist dick. But Stede’s reaction was not JUST about Ed.

- Also the encouragement of the crew to kill Ned versus Ed’s quiet begging for Stede not to. Because he knew it wasn’t going to rest easy on Stede’s shoulders. And it doesn’t—maybe it’s just me but Stede looks devastated the entire time, not just angry. It’s a Lot. What happened was objectively a Lot.

- Now the juiciest piece of the episode: Going Not Slow (while Izzy sings La Vie En Rose IN FRENCH—side note but for the next installment of my fishing AU, I had it as a note for MONTHS that Ed and Stede would be slow dancing to that song, under a very different emotional context but THAT SONG, because I listened to it out of the blue one day and it just hit me how tender and romantic a song it is and how they deserve a tender and romantic thing, oh my LORD ALMIGHTY)

- First, the elephant in the room: the footage was flipped. Why was it flipped. Why did they do that.

- Second, not sure if Ed is actually nodding at Stede before the kissing starts, but I love to interpret it that way. It’s such a slight movement, could just be natural head bobbing, but. A nod makes it so much sweeter.

- The whole thing being sort of overlaid by the undercurrent of grief, though; Stede isn’t okay, Ed isn’t okay, they aren’t okay and maybe need some comfort and reassurance in and from each other. Certainly an enjoyable way to get it, but it seems to be a subtle theme of the show that words alone and actions alone don’t fix things. They have to work together. Which is how we get a THIRD BREAKUP OKAY GOOD GRIEF BOYS GET IT TOGETHER

- Ed tossing his leathers sort of loses its impact some when you know he’s gonna fish them back up later but. Also. Just sort of builds that anticipation. And deepens the narrative, too—Ed doesn’t want Blackbeard anymore, he doesn’t want that life, but. Other people, Ed included, might NEED Blackbeard for what’s coming. He’s a symbol. A violent and dark one, but that’s piracy itself, too—dark and violent but also a gateway to freedom. The two sides of that coin are a great asset against the coming storm. Because THIS is the storm, Ricky and his navy mates cracking down for good on piracy.

- Also the storm is Ed and Stede’s hurricane of a relationship but uh also life threatening exploding clocks and the Republic of Pirates a sitting duck with a ton of ships and buildings damaged.

- Ed isn’t wrong for wanting to retire though. And Stede isn’t wrong for wanting to continue piracy now that he’s just getting the hang of it. I don’t know the solution. Pretty sure the show does. And I’m even more convinced that with one episode left and the showrunners angling for a third, we’re gonna leave on a pretty big doozy of a cliffhanger, both emotionally and plot-wise.

- Feel a little cheated that we didn’t get to see Stede’s shirt and Ed’s jacket come off before the fade to black but also perfectly content with what we got, euphemistic fireworks and gauzy curtain draw and all. Have I stared too long at the gifs to know that Ed is down to his t shirt and Stede’s trousers fit his waist in a lovely way? Maybe. You can’t prove anything.

- Anyone else screaming internally about how they LEFT THE DOOR OPEN THOUGH.

- I want a full shot of Ed’s pretty teal robe, though. Yummy.

- The domesticity of Ed’s beautiful breakfast in bed is not quite overcome by Stede being half-uncovered while Ed is covered head to toe though. Something something emotional vulnerability states, something something trajectory of relationship

- Bout time Ed got scared by the pace, though. Ed and Stede have swapped places. It doesn’t really suit either of them, and my goodness was it kind of cathartic to watch Zheng beat the crap out of Stede. Because. Let’s be honest: he deserved it. But back to my original point: seems like Ed and Stede are overcorrecting at this stage in their relationship. Came from different worlds, met briefly in the middle, now swinging back out to opposite extremes before coming back to the middle. Other people have said it and will continue to say it better, but. That’s how it seems to me right now.

- The little quiet ways that Izzy is reaching out to Ed and Stede both, though. And bonding with the crew. I love that we get that for him. It would have been just as narratively appropriate for Izzy to sink deeper into his own muck and toxicity, but to show that once given the space to feel safe and vulnerable, it can turn even the most “piratey” character into an actual member of the crew?? Who cracks amazing jokes and does himself up in drag makeup with Wee John and SINGS??? Love that for him. Love the message of that. Love how much that’s reflected in the rest of the crew, too.

- Frenchie getting the crew going on multiple grifts, though. Nice. Niccccce. A+++++.

- SWEDE IS HOT NOW. LOVE IT FOR HIM.

- Jim and Archie helping Oluwande out with Zheng, though. I’m hoping this polycule thrives. Because Jim and Olu deserve so many nice things.

- Stede’s whole fame drunk thing was so painful to watch but ALSO is anyone gonna talk about how Stede was accosted by a Freddy Krueger looking dude?? I hope he survived his (frankly astonishingly hot, pun slightly intended) immolation bc I want him showing up later with knife hands to complete the reference

- Painful to watch but so understandable. Stede letting it all go to his head is so so SO like Ed on the aristocrat ship, just naive and full up on the attention and not ready for that rug pull later.

- FANG AND ROACH TAKING A SELF CARE DAY BY A STREAM I AM SCREECHING

- Ed is absolutely in a panic. Stede is also in something of a panic. They both said things they don’t mean because they both need to have the last word, don’t they. Fishermen and pirates are nothing alike, Ed what even are you talking about. (I know what he’s talking about, I’m choosing to nitpick his choice of metaphor to illustrate he is wrong on both a surface and metaphorical level)

- TALK IT THROUGH AS A CREW MY ASS, STEDE

- Is there anything as attractive as Zheng Yi Sao competently and confidently taking down not just Steak Knife, but Stede? She hasn’t been seen in action all season. Now we get it. And she’s just as banter-prone as Stede, I love that for them. And for us.

- rip steak knife. You will be missed.

- Can’t wait to see Ricky’s pomposity getting smashed in. He’s a mediocre man. You don’t see them coming.

- I know I’m glossing over probably a lot but that was SUCH an episode batch. Such an emotional whiplash. Cannot WAIT to see the finale, and how the story is gonna end with that third season we are pretty please getting please PLEASE.

#our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #don’t mind me just quietly screaming to myself #ignoring real life for a bit

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purpleplaid17 · 1 year

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Jess Watches // Fri 29 Sept Synopses & Favourite Scenes

Flora and Son (with mum)

A single mother (Eve Hewson) living in Dublin is having trouble with her son, a rebellious teenage petty thief. Encouraged to find him a hobby, Flora rescues an old guitar and, with the help of a LA-based online guitar teacher (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, discovers that one person's rubbish can be another person's salvation.

A slice-of-life Irish indie with a loud and proud lead character who wants more out of life for herself and her son. An easy 90 minute afternoon watch with some catchy songs to hum along to. (Also, an ice cream van stopped near our house, which hasn't happened in years. So had a little treat while we watched.)

The Great 3x10 Once Upon a Time (Series Finale)

While playing Russian Roulette, an intruder tries to kill Catherine, and she uses the gun to shoot him instead; this epiphany allows her to come out of her daze and grief.

The writing and dialogue was top-notch. As compelling as the grieving episodes were, they lingered in it a bit to long for me. So this was a return to the pace, of wit and of clit, that the show excels at.

I'm a Virgo 1x03 Paco Rabanne

Cootie experiences dating for the first time as he and Flora hit up the town. Flora's speedy movements are actually a superpower of her own that she's had to keep hidden; Scat is wounded on his minibike.

Flora having to adapt to everyone elses speed because otherwise she can't be understood was shown in such a visually effective way. The energy it takes to be seen as 'normal'.

Avatar: The Last Airbender 3x17 The Ember Island Players

A Fire Nation theater group is debuting a play based upon the group's adventures. Everyone, except Toph, is embarrassed by the inaccurate and exaggerated portrayals of themselves.

Toph finding the depictions of them hilarious and loving that she was played by a tall buff man. Good for her.

The Horror of Dolores Roach 1x03 Like a Stoned-Ass Baby

Dolores digests what Luis has done with the evidence.

Though not literally, despite everyone else savouring the new empanada recipe. A few shows now, made during covid, involve cannibalism. Should I be concerned lmao

#flora and son #the great #i'm a virgo #avatar the last airbender #atla #the horror of dolores roach #polls #tumblr polls #jess watches #day 10

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do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas · 2 years

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As someone who did one long fic and promised to never do it again, here's my ofmd role reversal au with a moderate dose of oc's

So it all starts with their childhoods, as the literal reverse happens:

Ed doesn't kill his dad

And Stede accidentally paperweights Nigel

For Stede, he runs away obviously, and finds his way as a sailor with some captain

Works his way up to having his own ship and crew, with most of our beloved crewmates onboard

He gains a reputation as The Gentleman Pirate, his eccentric ways of piracy making him legend-like

He also has quite the body count, which no one really knows how he kills off his victims

(Just incredibly ridiculous coincidences so he kinda-but-not-really kills them)

Yes he loves the freedom, but he can't help but be reminded of what he left behind... of what he did...

Ed meanwhile, since he didn't kill his dad, instead convinces his mom to leave him while he's gone

But since society ain't kind to a poor single mom of color, they live like shit

Ed thus takes on as the breadwinner of the family, working harder than his mom has to

Mostly odds and ends until he gets a gig as a blacksmith apprentice, eventually opening a shop of his own. Finally, him and his mom are in a good place financially and stability wise

But it's all so fucking boring: he has all these clients needing swords and gun pieces for the navy and shit

- some bit of assholes really, like this one dude Chauncey -

while he wants more than anything to use them himself, and go on his own adventure

So using his saved up money, he buys a ship and tries to pass it off as a gift using a mini model of it

His mom however, doesn't like the ocean, and knows how sad his son is with their lives - we only have this one life, let's make the most of it

So he sets off in the middle of the night, leaving all his money he earned to her and tries to be a pirate... his mom's words ringing in his ears

Alright, we got our set-up, let's talk about our side characters:

On Stede's crew, we got Jim, Buttons, Swede, Roach, Lucius, Wee John... and Mary Read

(When a Sir Godfrey Thornrose attended a party, he ended up getting found out by Mary - but impressed by her idea to swindle the guests, he convinces her to join his crew as they depart a flaming ship full of rich people at each other's throats, after a game The Gentleman Pirate was fond of played)

Mary becomes First Mate, so she and Stede have a Izzy/Ed dynamic going on, but a little less toxic and sexually charged (it makes sense, trust me)

Ed's ship has Izzy, Oluwande, Frenchie, Gentle Pete, Calico Jack and Anne Bonny

(But he doesn't start with them as his crew - instead they're crewmates serving under a Captain Hornigold)

Since Stede becomes captain earlier on, Jim kills Spanish Jackie's husband earlier on, so Olu doesn't think to run away with them cause he's a loveable dumbass, only leaving when Jackie gets suspicious of him

Gentle Pete is always going on about serving on The Gentlebeard Pirate's ship, how he looks like a white ghost with fabric for skin

in my OC world (made a Anne and Mary post bout this), Anne and Mary dump Jack before he enters ofmd ep 8, so this takes place in an alternate world where Anne and Jack met and married but they never met Mary

And so... the plot!!

Ed and crew are under Hornigold, and Ed finds himself as First Mate, despite everyone thinking he's incompetent

He does however end up convincing them there's another way to piracy (probably cause of Black Pete's Gentleman Pirate stories) and so they plan to mutiny

They end up running into a navy ship, and the crew's pissed off at Hornigold disguising themselves and refusing to fight, so nows the best time

Ed only planned on going into the cabin and tying him up, but in some crazy level of shenanigans, Hornigold ends up choking on rope, so Ed technically "kills" him

Although Hornigold was an abusive bitch who reminded Ed of his dad so whatevs (totally whatevs haha no guilt at all!)

Izzy, surprised but impressed by how smart Ed can be in his lutacrisy, convinces him to tell the crew he meant to kill him

And so Ed becomes Captain of The Queen Anne, and takes on Blackbeard as his moniker from Hornigold

Totally not haunted by the illusion of Hornigold with rope around his neck hahahah

Ep 2 and 3 happens the same way but with Blackbeard and crew: ship aground, hostages (two navy soldiers and their captain, called Chauncey Badminton ok yes i was that blacksmith you bullied but now im blackbeard so who got the last laugh now), and meeting someone named Lucius, who despite his lack of - well anything that makes him look intimidating - ends up taking a hostage from them and intimidating Ed, Olu and Pete with the help of Wee John... and Jim

Olu and Jim are surprised to see each other again but Jim leaves with their crew, Olu still whipped after all these years

Up to ep 3 now, Mary comes along after Lucius' recalling of the events to scare Ed in Spanish Jackie's bar, but is amused by Ed telling her the captain can fuck off

Izzy however was not here in this moment, so Ed learns from him oh - that was the first mate of The Gentleman Pirate! Ok!!

Anne is just like "don't worry captain, I can seduce her" "No, Bonbon, there's no need to do that" "You sure?"

All leads up to the Spanish ship, almost about to be killed by the Spanish, when a certain former aristocrat swings in to save the day

Stede: Blackbeard, I presume?

Ed, bleeding out and almost hung: the angel heard of me?

Stede: hardly an angel, but thank you :)

And so the show continues as normal, with some changes according to whatever you want to see happen

Lucius being the relationship counselor

"~ Stab me ~"

The bathtub, which could really be either one of them

Speaking of which, would Stede have an equivalent to a red silk 👁

So yes, everything follows the same storylines in ep 4, 5, and 6

up until the end of ep 6 ...

But with some notable differences:

Anne: Well, if it needs to be done -

Ed: You don't need to seduce the First Mate

Anne: It's OK Cap, I can take it

Jack is also here, hi. He's a bit of an ass, so like our shows Izzy

Izzy meanwhile is not like, soooo bad, cause in this au he hasn't had the years under Blackbeard to see him as a great pirate so he's fully aware he's in the Muppet genre

He's still not happy about it

Olu and Jim have a little bit more of a slow burn (but like og show blackbonnet's slowburn)

Lucius, I'm sorry I really am, is a bitch in this au (probably cause of his status as Gentleman Pirate's Scribe) and so him and Pete don't get along

Initially ;)

Anne is off seducing Mary, which in this au, since Mary didn't have that positive influence in Anne to tell her she's beautiful despite her past, is very cold, so it takes a bit

But not that long, Anne's a very smooth talker

Stede and Ed meanwhile are interesting:

Stede has his years as a confident pirate on a sex positive ship - Ed has his history as a man with a sex drive

So Stede's pulling out all the gentleman techniques like Ed stabbing him with a sword, and Ed is over here freaking out like "this must be just how he is... but what if it isn't... but what if it is... but what if it"

Fucking cranking up the sexual tension to a hundred!!!!

Now HERE'S the rub

Cause of the changes in the timeline, characters react differently to situations

Which means Izzy never challenges Stede at the end of ep 6 - what, he's the fucking Gentleman Pirate, he's not gonna get himself killed cause of Bonnet corrupting his Captain's (which he totally doesn't have a crush it must be envy) brain

But after a fatal accident with a whip, Stede has enough and tells Jack to get off his ship. Now.

So if we rewind the story for a little bit, just to fill in the gaps:

There's this lady named Spanish Jackie who's pissed off at this Pubic hairbeard breaking her nose jar

And this navy captain who has survived his kidnapping, heard rumors the blacksmith is prancing around with the pirate he swore killed his brother

And THEN this schmuck who's drunk 25/8 stumbles in saying he knows where both of them are

So now let's take a break, and talk about Ed:

Ed, who while "defeating" the ghost of Hornigold, is still haunted by the choice he made to leave his mother. He's sure she's alright, but he promised to protect her, to be the man in the house he dad never was!

So now we got ep 7, Stede this time trying to impress Ed

Ed, confused, finally learns from Lucius "Oh my god this is happening", and so they have their little moment

It's literally "what makes Ed happy" but with Stede and two episodes earlier

But yay they kiss!!!

However, ep 8 happens exactly as it does

I hate Izzy, so I think he finds out about CJ and the plan and let's it happen

So Jack leaves and gets Ed to leave, who is guilty as fuck about leaving his mom

In this universe, Stede would not be mopey and staring at them through a telescope -

- so he leaves with all the crew and ship

Our Ep 10

It's the reverse:

Stede is in the blanket fort, sad and wrapped up in his little robe and writing sad songs

Ed leaves Jack to go back to Bristol and be with his mom

So it follows the same beats, which of course includes...

Izzy probably says some bullshit about Ed leaving, after what this ponce managed to do to the great Gentleman Pirate, who's somehow more soft than what the pirates made him out to be, with how he pines for his boyfrie -

Which is when fucking Chauncey comes in

Stede, pissed as fuck and no longer feeling safe as he let down his Gentleman Pirate facade only for his heart to get broken and being reminded of his place as a outcast among piracy, a plague, not a human...

"ok then, I'm the bad guy. Also you should never turn your back while holding a sword."

and paperweights Chauncey

Bye bye navy ship and crew, probably burnt alive!

Bye bye Lucius and Izzy's toe!

And bye bye happy couples, gotta separate you by marooning half of you!

So now Mary, Izzy, Frenchie and Jim are part of the new Revenge crew

With their new Gentleman Pirate captain, with an all-black ensemble, white gloves and a hat with white lace hanging around his head like a veil

Back on Ed's side of things:

His mom is actually doing really well! She took over the blacksmith business and even got herself a boyfriend Jason Mamoa

Though because Ed comes back in unannounced after thinking he was dead ("Eddie, you said you were leaving to be a pirate"), there's tension between them

Ed is all talk of the town as Blackbeard, but he's clearly not happy with being back in his old life, even if Jack's here to get his mind off things

But him and his mom talk, and she tells him she just wants what's best for her son, and seeing him finally find somewhere he belongs is all she ever wanted for him

"Hey mum... I think I found my fine thing"

And so mother and son plan to fake son's death together, only for Ed to find out about CJ betrayal

Luckily the fake death goes off without a hitch and he manages to leave with just a dinghy and a red piece of silk, going to find his love <3

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #ofmd au #role reversal au #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #crew of the revenge #it ends happily dont worry #riiiight s2?#riiiiiiiight?#(also this has been sitting in drafts #until i figured out the ending for it just now)#let.me.dream.with.ofmd

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ahungeringknife · 1 year

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365: February 19

Warning for drug use (its just weed)

Sage (Smoke) is such a funny character to me. I can't wait until he shows up again in Entropy.

Shin repressed a groan seeing who their forth was Drifter had paired them with for Gambit. ‘Dredgen’ Smoke was a Titan of a special… reputation in Gambit. One Shin didn’t always like playing with because he was a slacker. Not something Shin would ever call a Titan but Smoke was a special sort. “Sah’ guys,” Smoke said over fireteam comms.

“Smoke,” Wolf said, also not excited he was on their team.

“Aw man I get to hang with the Wolf and her posse. That’s sick, man,” Smoke drawled.

“Gotta make it fair somehow I guess,” Savant said with a shrug.

“Fucking Drifter,” Shin grumbled.

“Psh, don’t be a downer Skinner. I ain’t a Dredgen for nothin’,” Smoke scoffed.

“I’m going to kill him,” Shin said over private fireteam comms with Savant and Wolf.

“No way. He’s a Falling Star. Kill him once we melt the Prime,” Savant complained.

“Like you need the help,” Wolf scoffed.

“Girl! Like you need the help,” Savant cried making Wolf laugh. They’d talked right over Drifter’s monologue about Gambit and were transmatted into the Haul in simulated EDZ.

The first half of the match went fine. Wolf, as always, was their anchor on the bank keeping the blockers down. Shin let Savant and Smoke scoop the motes and worried about just slaying and only stopped to argue with Savant over who got to invade. “You guys fight too much. You should just do rock paper scissors,” Smoke said over comms as Shin was about to give Savant some friendly fire.

“No one asked you-

“That sounds like a great idea!” Wolf said. “Figure it out. The other side is fat with motes and I don’t want to deal with Knights solo.”

Shin scowled. “Fine,” and he held his hand out to Savant.

“You should just let me do it,” Savant complained but complied.

“No. On one. Three, two one,” he said quickly. “HA! Paper beats rock, fuck you,” and he very nearly did a backflip through the invasion portal.

“He’s such a brat,” Savant said over team comms while Shin was bringing out his sniper rifle.

“Beat you fair and square, Hunter. Don’t be a sore loser,” Smoke said.

Shin lined up a pair frantically running up to their bank to deposit motes and got them both as perfect domes. Across the map someone shot at him and he swung his gun around to find who was shooting him as his shielding was chipping away from pulse rifle fire. He managed to get a shot off but only on the body and another gun started shooting him as well. He bailed from his lane and tried to get some cover. He heard the sound of Light and looked up as a shadow flew across his line of sight and he was just in time to see a rocket headed right for him.

He came back on his team’s side. “Good kills,” Wolf said as he jogged to join them again.

Shin ran to go help Savant and Smoke but noticed Smoke was missing at the beach. Where the fuck was he? He helped Savant mop up the beach and on his way back to the bank he made a detour to pick up some ammo and found Smoke in the dilapidated building with his helmet cracked and smoke was pouring out of his neck. Shin’s eyes narrowed and he went over to the Titan and smacked his helmet so it spun. “Knock that shit off, we’re in the middle of a match,” he snapped.

Smoke grabbed his helmet and pulled it back around straight. “You and the others got it on lock. Chill Skinner man,” Smoke said lazily. “But yeah yeah fine before you do that Hunter thing and explode like a little chihuahua,” and Smoke pulled the roach of some hand rolled joint from out of his helmet and flicked it onto the ground. “Little Hunters always so yappy when I’m just trying to have a good time.” And he walked off rolling his shoulders and cracking his knuckles. Shin stalked after him fuming.

Smoke did get back into the game and they summoned the Prime quickly after. The other team sent over an invader a few times but they were focused as quickly as possible while the team also dealt with envoys and fodder. The other team also had their Prime and Shin and Savant took turns feeding the Prime with the deaths of their enemies but the game was going on a while. Drifter had stacked the other side with Dredgens as well because anything else would just get rolled and their invaders usually got a pick or two themselves.

“This is getting real boring,” Smoke said at one point and Shin glared at him where he was leaning against a wall holding his shot gun.

“We’re literally in the middle of a game!”

“Yappy yappy,” Smoke made a ‘talking’ motion with his hand as he put his shot gun away. “Let’s get this over with,” and he braced himself against the wall.

“Not like we haven’t been doing that this-“ Shin jumped when Smoke launched off the wall in a snap of such loud thunder it made his ears ring. Their Prime still had a sizable amount of health yet from the last invade but they’d cycled their envoys a few times.

“Hey watch where you’re flying!” Savant cried as Smoke blasted past him and Shin moved to keep the Prime in his line of sight, and Smoke.

The explosion on Smoke’s impact with the Primeval made the bar on the top of Shin’s HUD lurch and disappear. Smoke was standing where the Prime had been, dusting off some Taken dust from his hands and gauntlets. “And that’s a wrap,” he said.

“Woo! What a smash!” Drifter cried. “Guess I’ll need to get creative to slow you three down.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Drifter,” Wolf said and they were transmatted back to the main ship.

Shin poked at his rewards; a pair of gloves his Ghost was dismissive of so didn’t bother with them. Smoke took his helmet off as he inspected his new AR and snapped his fingers at the end of a short rolled cigarette in his mouth. “Oi! No smoking on the Derelict!” Drifter yelled from his podium.

“Hold your horses, Drifter,” Smoke said.

“Next time keep your shit together, Sage,” Shin growled at him, using his actual name because he hated calling anyone by their Dredgen name. It still pissed him off Drifter was doing this.

“Yap yap yap, Skinner,” Sage said and had his Ghost dismantle the gun into glimmer and shards.

“I said no smoking, Sage,” Drifter yelled from the distance.

“You’re just annoying,” Shin growled at him.

Sage looked at Shin with the most relaxed look he could muster. Sage was a dirty blonde with tanned skin and light brown eyes and could have been attractive if he wasn’t such a lazy stoner. “You really need to learn to chill out, broski.” He took the rolled cigarette out of his mouth and offered it to Shin. Shin didn’t take it. “Guess you’re Wolf’s friend first not Hunter’s,” he scoffed and took it back.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Wolf asked.

Sage smiled at her and Shin’s glare through his helmet increased. “With the greatest respect Y-W; you’re a Vanguard pet. Nice proper spick and span Guardian,” he put the cigarette back in his mouth. “Anyway. Later kiddos,” and his Ghost transmatted him out.

Shin made an angry noise. “He’s so annoying,” he growled.

“More than me?” Savant asked.

“It’s close!”

Savant chuckled. “That’s impressive I guess.”

Wolf patted his arm. “Just get over it.”

“Oi! You three going to fuck off or what? I got the next group about to spawn in,” Drifter called.

“Yeah yeah,” she waved him off and her Ghost came out to transmat her. Savant just climbed out of the reward pit to bother Drifter; gross. Shin huffed and signaled for his Ghost to take him out too.

#365 #writeblr #writblr #destiny 2 #destiny the game #destiny #shin malphur #the young wolf #the guardian #Drifter #the drifter #Gambit #Entropy

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sunshinexlollipops · 3 months

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what the hell is up w cockroaches this year? I never dealt with them when I was young and now suddenly they're always popping up everywhere I go but THIS ROACH was fucking DIFFERENT. he played MIND GAMES. bc I'm dog and house sitting rn and I was using the restroom when I got jumped. y'all don't understand........it found me at my most vulnerable. I was literally caught w my pants between my legs bc I was SHITTING when he appeared and was inches from me and he's HUGE and WINGED and I leapt off the toilet w boom boom still on the booty bc he thinks I wanted company for the occasion. and the house I'm staying at........has no roach or ANY bug spray.....and y'all.....this roach is playing psychological warfare. it wasn't just about wandering around and snackin— this dude was waiting for me when I was coming for him, and we were having multiple western standoffs in the adjacent foyer of this house and it's every time I'm walking by, ready to get his ass, he came CHARGING out of the bathroom like a sewer's braveheart. we're playing cat and mouse and we still don't have an idea who is what. he goes to sit vertically on the doorframe and stare at me after I sprayed FEBREEZE all over him to no effect. he also tries to crawl across the bathroom and foyer floor and I try to kill him broom-style...the damn thing lives, is uninjured, and scurries off.

I freak out and also have to give ground bc I'm having to psych myself up because admittedly, he got the upper hand on me from the start. he destroyed any confidence I would have had by showing up mid-turd. so I have to brace myself over and over, and when I come back to face him, this fucking thing decides he's gonna try and flee the bathroom again towards me and I tried another broom hit....WHICH HE, AGAIN, SURVIVED. so I go pacing around the house in hopes to find any weapons bc I'm losing the battles and I cannot lose the war, and I find some hope— a flyswatter.*

it's dinky and has a fake sunflower on one side and I'm like UGH OKAY and I'm literally preparing to go get him and HE IS IN THE FOYER RUNNING TOWARD ME WHEN I ROUNDED THE CORNER. LIKE HE KNOWS IM ARMED. so I go to slap him so hard it sends him and his entire species down back to the Devil himself and HE DODGES IT. ends up spinning like a loony tunes character trying to skedaddle and runs under the door into an adjacent room. I'm hoping he realizes to get the hell out of dodge for good, but I'm also waiting to ambush his ass bc I have a gut feeling this isn't over. and it wasn't— I happen to look over and I see him making a dash to the bathroom again. I notice he has a limp now and isn't as fast and won't climb, and I'm like okay— now is the time. I drive back to my own house that is nearby and I grab my roach spray. bc one of us has to fold and it will NOT be me. and so I come back and rest in the room by the foyer, I can see the bathroom door and foyer from where I'm sitting, and I'm like alright let's take a second......I had already sprayed around the doorways in the foyer, and sent a little of the spray into the bathroom in the hopes the smell would drive him away if he hadn't left.

atp its been an hours long saga and I'm like, lemme take a break and when I'm ready I'll fumigate this bitch.... remember the * I put after finding the flyswatter? I was literally writing this post when this next part occurred... bc I had another gut urge to look over towards the bathroom, and thERE HE IS AGAIN IN THE FOYER! MAKING ANOTHER DASH FOR THE ADJACENT ROOM! SO I CHARGE HIS ASS W THE SPRAY AND IM GOING FULL BLAST ON THE NOZZLE OVER HIM WHILE TAILING HIM BACK INTO THE BATHROOM UNTIL HE FUCKING FLEES INTO THE BATHROOM FLOOR VENT. SO I SPRAY A BIT DOWN THERE AND THEN SHUT IT ON HIS ASS AND NOW HE CAN'T RETURN.

since then the house has felt different. like a demon has been cleansed. I believe I have killed the beast, or sentenced it to die a very painful and slow death in the vent he sought refuge in.......and I can only feel like it wasn't enough for him.

I've been on the phone w both my parents tonight, I've been laughed at through my version of David versus Goliath, and I got discord messages saying this :(((

may this fucker rot and mold

#cockroach #i dont mind certain roaches but winged and large ones set me off #i never had a roach try psychologically torturing me before tho #i was ready for a fun night and trying to relax bc i didnt sleep well my first night here so lets just make it 2 #thankfully its my final night and then im back home bc im literally traumatized of the bathroom #ps its a brown smoky roach and he came out of the sink plumbing. i had one do it at my house. these fuckers are different anyway #but this one was cursed and too cognitive for my liking. bc wtf. his timing was divine and tragic

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adzeisval · 7 months

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Waterboarding

Roach teaches a torture class. Major character death in this one. Also on AO3.

Roach always felt like he had a little bit of a duty to help out in the community. As he got older he taught young pirate cooks the best ways to make good food out of anything and everything that was at hand, he helped where he could teaching and passing on his medical knowledge.

But most of all he liked to teach torture techniques.

There was something about torture that was just so relaxing, especially when it was torturing the English.

Roach had captured an English soldier on their last trip for supplies and had put out the call to some young pirates to head on to in to the inn for a lesson.

“Welcome everyone, it’s so good to see you all again. Today I’ll be teaching you waterboarding!”

There were some murmurs and few excited faces and Roach was pleased at that reaction. He had his teaching table, which doubled for both medical and torture teaching which was nice.

“First, we’ll secure the victim,” Roach said tying the man to the table, having some of the students come up and practice good knot work. Once the victim was secure Roach tilted the table back with the man’s head facing downward. He made sure they knew they didn’t need a fancy table to do so though one was always a nice bonus.

“Now we’re going to need a cloth to cover the face,” Roach said, “And we can start with it wet or dry, it doesn’t really matter.”

“Can you piss on the cloth?”

“That’s good! I like that!” Roach said and the student beamed. Roach showed the students how to pour enough water to get the victim truly distressed but hopefully not kill them because there was nothing worse than killing someone before you got your information or fun out of them.

Roach let each of his dozen or so students take a turn and watch how demoralized the victim became after a while.

“Now I’ll show you going too far,” Roach said and kept pouring water over the cloth long after the man had stopped moving, “Now it’s too late. You can end it like this once you’ve got your information or feel free to use any other method. Any questions?”

“Is it really that scary?”

“Yes, here let’s do a little exercise, we’ll just put wet cloths over our faces and try to breath, we don’t want to torture each other,” Roach said.

Roach demonstrated how to do it safely and then watched the students mess around with it. As he talked with the students afterwards Roach felt a little ill. He’d been messing around with the chilly water all day, maybe that wasn’t a smart idea to do waterboarding in the winter, and in such an unusually cold winter at that.

` Roach packed up his things and headed back to the inn. By the time he had finished putting things away he knew he was getting sick. Playing around with the cold water had been a very bad idea indeed.

Roach let the others know he was going to lie down and probably wouldn’t be up to cooking dinner. He made himself some tea and Lucius said he would bring Roach some soup later.

By nightfall Roach was racked with chills, he was shaking and couldn’t get comfortable and it felt like he was burning up. His throat felt like it was on fire and his lungs felt heavy and fuck it was all coming on so fast.

Days passed and things only seemed to get worse. Roach was in and out and hot and cold and could barely breathe. The fever would not break no matter how many remedies the crew tried.

Roach was shivering again and felt so weak he thought he might shiver himself to death when he felt like someone was in the room with him. He looked up and at first didn’t see anyone then he noticed a shadowy figure in the corner.

Izzy.

“Oh no…” Roach managed weakly.

“I’m sorry Roach,” Izzy said.

Roach went in and out and the next time he opened his eyes Jim was looking at him and trying to get him to drink.

“Izzy,” Roach managed.

“Ah fuck,” Jim said, “I’ll let everyone know.” Over the next few hours everyone came in and Roach tried to say something to every one of them. It was exhausting just to stay awake, it was exhausting to breathe. It wasn’t long before it was too much to stay awake and Roach fell unconscious.

Roach sat up in bed with a gasp and looked around; everything looked the same and he wondered for a moment if he had dreamed about being ill. Then he heard a soft sniffle and saw Frenchie wiping away a tear.

“Roach,” Izzy said and Roach looked over at the man, or the spirit. Roach hadn’t realized how young Izzy had been when he died, it didn’t seem like it at the time but it was jaring that Roach looked so much older.

“Time to go,” Roach sighed.

“Time to go,” Izzy said and led Roach forward

#febuwhump2024 #febuwhumpday25 #ofmd #roach #izzy hands #fic

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protokirby · 1 year

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Vent post. Just need to let it all out. Don't read this.

Currently on the verge of a complete mental breakdown because for the past 2 days in a row I have tried to make a peanut butter and banana sandwich for breakfast for lack of better options and the fruit flies have turned it into a freaking warzone both times.

I desperately need a spider infestation because unlike everything else, spiders don't give me trauma and they will eat the critters that have been driving me insane for years. I love bugs and stuff. Really do. But since an invasion that started like- 2 or 3 years ago, nothing has been the same. The ants keep targeting my computer and I can't afford another computer. This computer is the best one I've ever had and these aren't made anymore as far as I can tell. There are ants living in the microwave. They can survive the waves of mmmmmmmmmmm and they have enough time to get all over everything as it's cooking. There are roaches living in the fridge and the pantry dropping dookies on everything. I don't trust any of the food kept in the pantry because just walking by the door, I can hear the sound of hundreds of roaches. I'm not joking. I keep a stash of food of my own in a box but it is not much. I can't go outside for long because I'm immediately targeted by up to 10 horse flies at once. Like- I'm not even an easy target for horse flies! I jump around a lot and I'm fricking speedy and have never once been successfully bit by a horse fly but they persist despite plenty of slower family members around. Do I smell tasty or something??? But I go outside anyway because I hate being still for too long and I also like going outside to give extra water to the chickens because second-hand happiness is my primary source of happiness at all.

Mom promised me my butt would shrink if I lost weight but I'm underweight now and the darn thing hasn't shrank at all. Just as uncomfortable to sit down as it was when I was at a healthy weight. I'm not drinking much water in the heat of summer and in a climate that's hot all year round especially summer, that is a bad thing. Why am I not drinking water? Well, dad is making the very idea of leaving my room miserable. He is a jerk and will bully everyone and then turn around and threaten self kill at the slightest nothing and will play the victim every time. He accuses everyone of wanting him gone and we're all fricking exhausted and tired of reassuring him we do not in fact want him gone. He will stay up 5 hours after his bed time every single fricking day and then use the excuse that he's tired to justify all his cruelty. If anyone else is tired? "You can't be tired you don't work a night job" And he fully believes that anyone younger than him is a kid and below him. "How dare you tell me to go to bed. You're just a kid." said to his then 23 year old daughter. One day, while I was outside , he fricking jumpscared me on purpose several times even making sounds he 100% fricking knows cause physical pain to me just to get my attention. Staring directly at me and waving his arms around like a moron after he saw me turn around and he then denied doing it to mom. I was crying and had enough of all of that and ran away when I saw him approaching so the dog started barking at him and he for some unknown reason questioned angrily why doesn't he get any respect around here as if he thinks he can be the way he is and get respect at the same time. On a few occasions, I made a very small dog yipe sound in response to ants and stuff all over everything suddenly and I didn't even know he was there but then I get sudden fricking jumpscared by a very loud exclamation of wanting to self kill by dad walking out the door.

This is emotionally draining and I'm always unable to do anything because I lack the energy. He has never physically harmed me, so this might sound like I'm weak or something or have been conditioned to think it's weak? My older sister said something and then this moron of a father targeted me in a shout "Why would you make her say that????" as I was innocently attempting to get a snack and he fricking chased me after I yiped like a dog from fear and I was cornered in a room having a full on panic attack as he was yelling at me to shut up and I could not physically make myself shut up and I was finally able to turn my panic attack screams into hyperventilating instead but he was still shouting at me to shut up and I could barely even think in the moment. Like- the only "thinking" I was able to do was prevent myself from headbutting the wall in an attempt to force-shut-up but instead I completely uncontrollably punched myself in the face 20 times without the normal hold-back reflex a non panicking person would get and lo and behold I still couldn't shut up and he was still screaming at me for who knows how long because it became a blur after that and I hid the ginormous blue orb extending from my face from the punches I gave myself uncontrollably and just went to bed for the day because I knew if mom saw it, the situation would escalate further and they already fight every time mom casually asks him a question. I get a mild panic attack whenever the memory of that is brought up and eventually mom found out what happened when I started bawling like a baby whenever dad got anywhere near me and then dad said some garbage along the lines of my screaming giving him ptsd like--- if he had ptsd from hearing my panic attacks, logically he would be leaving me the fork alone but he is clearly mocking me or something or trying to do that fricking exposure "therapy" stuff. He got his childhood horse killed by exposure therapy. It was afraid of bags so he shoved a bag in its face. It panicked and broke its leg and he had to shoot the horse because they can't survive on a broken leg. He always tells this story every once in a while so that's how I know of these events but I didn't exist at the time it took place. Certainly he knows that exposure "therapy" is a complete fricking load of garbage from that experience so why the fart is he doing all this mess??? He's everything-phobic so the idiocy checks out. I'm scared to even say a word about being aro/ace because he'll think it means I like other girls or something and he'll behave like an even worse excuse of a human. I hope and pray that I won't be like him when I'm old. Sorry for making this post. Sorry to anyone who decided to read it. I've been less able to control my frustration lately and I'm scared and stressed that I'll turn into a monster and venting is one of the few ways I can calm my nerves. I keep it hidden under the "keep reading" because I don't want to force it on people but I still need to let it out. Again, I'm sorry to anyone who decided to read this

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mysticmunson · 2 years

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late bloomer, part 3

eddie munson x reader

prompt: eddie befriends a cheerleader who’s a bit of a ’ late bloomer’ (part one, part two)

warning: mentions of underage drinking (eddie is 20, the reader is 19), cursing, smut (18+), a bit angsty, mentions of food, submission (let me know if i miss anything)

word count: 4.8k

authors note: today has been rough for eddie stan's but we persist nonetheless. (i started this part before i watched vol 2) while this began as a one-shot, your guy's feedback and love have kept me going. thank you for all your support on my posts and here is part three :) feedback is always appreciated and my requests are open!

While you hadn’t officially announced to everyone that you and Eddie were together, it was fairly apparent. When walking into school, you held hands, but didn’t speak much to others. Both of your respective friend groups were becoming adjusted to this change while the two of you tried to get to know each other better. At school, you would chat during lunch, but usually ended up at your separate tables, for no reason other than getting involved with cheer talk or his Hellfire campaign. During the week, you often had practice and studying, so most of your time together was on the weekends. He would show you different songs on guitar, laughing at how your long nails would mess up the cords.

“I’m not cutting my nails!” You gasped, holding your hands close to your chest as you stood up from his lap. He shrugged, setting his prize possession to the side, putting his hands behind his head and exhaling dramatically. “How will you ever become a rockstar, babe, if you can’t play the cords!”

“When you decide to wear a cheer skirt and dance, I’ll cut my nails and be as good as Debbie Harry.” You teased, leaning against his dresser, “Don’t threaten me with a good time.” He winked. Eddie could make you laugh at anything, you used to think it was due to nerves, but as you grew closer, you knew that wasn’t the case.

He even started spending the night, sometimes going to his place where he discovered your fixation on his hair. You would practically beg to brush his hair after being freshly cleaned, finding it pretty cute, he typically indulged and let your delicate hands rummage through. When you would offer for him to brush yours, he did love the way yours smelled like coconuts, he declined out of fear of pulling too hard. “Eds, I’ve had my hair teased to heaven, hairsprayed and then bobby pinned down for security. Your brush won’t rip my hair out.”

Besides Chrissy and Anne, the rest of the squad had no idea until you told them, their faces twisting in confusion while getting dressed for practice. “So does he, like, worship the devil?” Rachel whispered, as if no one could hear her when everyone wanted to know, you shook your head and explained how caring he was, how he was a total nerd who didn’t even like to kill roaches. “He’s also good in the sack!” Anne chimed in, mouth full of a protein bar as you elbowed her ribs, “Ow!”

You faced mild scrutiny from the basketball boys, they decided it was their duty to ‘protect’ you when they were the same ones who made fun of you in the early years of middle school, before you hit puberty and got boobs. “Listen, we know what kind of guy he is, he’s just trying to get with a cheerleader and hex her for power.” Liam said, the other boys nodding in agreement at the lunch table. While the girls sat on one end, the boys usually kept to themselves on the other, but they had a talent of imposing on situations where they didn’t belong. Despite Lucas interjecting that they should just let you be, they persisted, but you thanked him nonetheless.

While you didn’t try obsessing over people’s opinions on your relationship, you still went to each other's house every weekend, sometimes during the week if you had time. The sex had become more intense, boardering making love at points when he would make you feel like the only woman who had been touched properly, like no one could ever make you feel this good. Only his hands could graze your skin carefully with intensity, like you could break, but he couldn’t help indulging in you. He knew he was falling for you and that terrified him.

You weren’t sure how the argument started. You were over at Eddie’s trailer after his uncle left for work, going over homework and talking about your week. The topic of his campaign came up, figuring out when the boys were gonna come over after school besides their usual Fridays at school. He said they would do it on the weekends for a few weeks, either meeting at the trailer or Dustin’s, and you simply asked when you would have time to see each other in between with your busy cheer schedule.

“I wasn’t trying to instigate you, Eds, I just don’t get to see you much during the week-” You sighed, pulling your knees to your chest on his bedroom floor, staring at your socks that had little kittens on them. He let out an agitated noise, scribbling some lyrics down on his notebook as he fiddled with his guitar.

“Well maybe you should find time for me sometimes?” He quipped, not looking at you, sat parallel to him, only he was up on the bed. Your stomach dropped at this question as you had been trying, but you couldn’t help your cheer schedule and how much homework you had. Your parents went out of town a lot for work, a sore subject he learned not to press too much at, but on weeks when they were gone, you would sneak him in.

“Don’t think I don’t try, please? I know cheer takes up a lot of time, but-” You replied, before a sarcastic laugh left his mouth, just leaving you more confused. You weren’t sure what was going on, he wouldn’t even let you finish a thought, you couldn’t even question him. “So you can care about things that are important to you, but when it comes to me, it’s different.” He sharply said, making you unfold your legs, hoping he would look your way at your open physique.

“No! That’s not what I’m saying, I’ve even been trying to learn DnD for you-” Again, you were cut short by his quick mouth, hiding behind his mop of hair, “You make sacrifices, you want a lot of things, I get it. My stuff isn’t as interesting as yours is, don’t hurt yourself.” He mumbled, clearly irritated at your presence, but the words stung, hard. Letting the silence hang, you breathed deeply before standing up and grabbing your backpack.

“I’m just gonna walk home, call me when you want to talk.” Turning on your heels, leaving with no objection. The first few minutes you spent pondering if you had said something to upset him, if you had forgotten an important date, but nothing came to mind. Things became even more complicated when the walk to your house had a detour due to road construction, adding an extra mile on top of the original two. The cherry on top at half a mile? Rain. Pouring rain that fell like a wall cascading over you, trying to hide under a tree that was missing leaves, completely soaking you. The tears that began to fall felt futile with the rain, making them blend together.

You felt 10 inches tall, walking with your arms glued to your chest, shivering at the cool weather. Your makeup began to run, making your vision even worse, but you kept going. You had two miles left and all you wanted to do was crawl into a hole. Thunder began crashing, a scream leaving your lips in frustration, “Fuck!” You thought all hope was lost, that you were taking a bath in your own soaked clothes, until a voice came from behind.

“Hey! Need a ride?” Nancy asked, pulling up beside you with her window cracked, you couldn’t help the grateful smile that appeared on your face. You warned her of your drenched clothes, but she shrugged, leaning over to pop open the door. “Shit, Nance, you’re the best. Thank you.” She gave you a sweet smile, driving off, “Is it cool if we stop at my place first? Steve is meeting me there, I still have some clothes of yours left there.” You agreed, but questioned why he was there.

“We’re still friends, I’m still with Jonathan. Steve and Robin had to take Dustin and Mike home from the Family Video store since those dipshits also got stuck in the rain.” She laughed, joining in at the thought of Steve Harrington playing babysitter to kids you knew since diapers. You had been friends with Steve in high school as he had been on the basketball team, he was always a nice guy. She had mentioned Eddie, but you left it at “We’re good.” Not really feeling a need to completely fill her in just yet, in the midst of an argument. When you pulled up to her house, ushering up to her bathroom.

“Hold tight, I’ll grab some clothes for you, you can go ahead and get in the shower though.” She said lovingly, knowing deep down this had to have been a bad scenario for you to have been walking in the rain. You nodded, stripping and stepping into the hot water. Sandbox friendships had a certain understanding to them, you may have not spoken to Nancy daily, but if it came down to it, you were there for each other. You remembered the time Steve accidentally spilled punch all over her at a party a few years ago, somehow leading to their break up, and saw her storming out.

“Nancy is everything ok-” The words fell short at her clearly drunk and crying face. Pulling her into your chest despite the stench of alcohol covering her, you consoled her and brought her to your house. You did the same thing she did tonight, got her in the shower while you fetched some warm clothes, almost as if you expected this from one another. Giving a call to Mrs. Wheeler to say she had passed out at your house and was spending the night, you stayed up talking and eating chips, shit talking every guy in Hawkins with a laugh.

You heard the door open as Nancy dropped your clothes on the white countertops, exchanging them for your soaked ones as you thanked her. You rinsed off any left over soap, opting to get out before you cried even more. The dread filled your brain, did Eddie even realize it had begun storming? Did he even look for you? He probably fell asleep and will wake up when it’s done, wondering why you didn’t even attempt to call him. You exited the bathroom, wearing shorts and an old summer camp shirt from middle school. You smiled at the fact you knew Nancy had a matching one somewhere deep in her closet. You walked to the living room to find her, Robin, Steve, Mike, and Dustin as they watched a movie Steve probably snagged from work.

“You look like a wet dog.” Mike said, earning a smack on the back of his head from you before sitting beside Robin. You didn’t know Robin as well, only being in one or two classes together, but you gave her a warm smile before directing your attention to the anonymous movie. Steve went on a long tangent about how the flick wasn’t realistic, how he could tell there were wires holding a man up as he began to ‘fly’.

The six of you continued watching until it was finished, eventually laughing at how crappy it was. Robin popped out the tape, putting it in the sleeve and into her bag, “That may just be the worst thing I’ve ever seen and one time I walked in on Steve talking to his hair.”

“It was having a bad day!” He exclaimed, like that made it any better. You laughed, ruffling his hair from across the couch, trying to bite your hand. After talking about random things for a few minutes, from the weather to the movie to even school, Nancy offered to take you home. “Are you guys hungry? I am, we should go get food.” Robin suggested, Mike and Dustin had gone off to his room, leaving only the older kids. You agreed, not wanting to reach the reality of the situation at hand yet, plus nothing soothed the soul like food.

You piled in the car, sitting in the front seat as Nancy drove, Robin and Steve arguing about where we should go. Eventually settling on pizza, you went to a local place where the men came straight from Florence, Italy. The pizza was heavenly, none of you being able to say much since you shoved food in every second. It felt nice to be in their company, especially since Steve and Nancy had graduated and Robin didn’t engage in extracurriculars like you did. You thought about what Eddie said, despite his rude approach, maybe cheer was consuming your time. In a few days, you would have tryouts for football season, and you had already been debating not rejoining. It was nice to not talk about school related things with people.

“How's Eddie?” Robin asked, taking a bite of the greasy pizza and wiping her hands with napkins. Your face dropped for a brief moment, taking a sip of your Coke, “Uh we’re good, getting adjusted, but good.” Thankfully the conversation derailed to Steve's failing love life, joking about Tammy from sophomore year who had a failed singing career. After you all finished, you asked Nancy to take you home which was close by.

“Should I get changed and come back with the clothes?” You asked, stepping out of the car, popping open your umbrella. “Don’t worry about it, it's your clothes anyways, I’ll see you soon.” She grinned as the others waved from the back seat, watching as both of them tried lunging for the front with Robin eventually succeeding. You chuckled, running towards your front door, and dropping the covering at the porch. You reached in your bag for your keys, fiddling with the various gum wrappers and lip gloss tubes until you heard the jingle.

You opened the door, Luna strutting at your feet with a meow as you cooed, giving her a quick pet. As you shut the door, the memories of a few hours ago returned swiftly, wondering if you should call Eddie or give him space. As you reached your bedroom, you didn’t have time to contemplate as he was pacing around, fingers fiddling with his bottom lip.

“Oh shit!” You screeched, grabbing a pocket knife from your purse as his hands raised, mildly intimidated and surprised by the weapon kept in your purse. You put it back when you realized who it was, sighing and rubbing your face.

“Oh fuck, babe, I’m so sorry. I started driving around when you left and I checked your usual route, but it was closed. Then it started raining, shit, I’m so sorry.” He confessed, pulling you into a hug in his chest where you couldn’t help melting into. His arms reminded you of safety and, no matter if you were mad at him, you couldn’t be for long.

“You were mean, Eddie. I was so cold and wet and the only reason I’m not right now is because Nancy saw me walking home.” You mumbled into his shoulder, his heart dropping and holding you tighter. “I know, I was just being a dick. I know you try to balance school and cheer and taking care of your house. I just feel like sometimes what I do isn’t as important as what you do. Which isn’t an excuse! I just, gah, I don’t know!” He exasperated, clearly trying to find a way to explain himself, but you pulled away as his doe eyes watched.

“Eddie, what you do is really important to me, I try figuring out what you’re into and what you like. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.” He nodded, his hand rubbing the back of his neck, “I know my schedule is busy, but I don’t want you to think I’m not trying. This is still really new to me and I worry about everything! I want to be good for you, Eds! I know being a cheerleader has a reputation, especially when the guys we cheer for are Jason, but it’s more than that. I’m more than that Eddie! I’m not even doing cheer after this season so I can work on myself, on us, on anything I think I should work on! I’m sorry if that makes me selfish, but I want this to work for us, I need this to work.”

He looked at you thoroughly, making sure you were finished to not cut you off as he did earlier. He was at a loss for words, having spent his whole life not having people supporting him to lead to this moment. Where the girl he was falling head over heels for would make it her mission to be with him despite him trying to push her away in fear.

“I’m sorry I was such a dick, you didn’t deserve it at all. You’re nothing, but kind, patient, and understanding, no matter what dumb shit I do. I was just nervous, I guess, no one’s actually tried to ‘get’ me. I’m not used to having people in my corner, I thought you would eventually get scared and dip and have the whole basketball team jump me in the parking lot.” He lightly joked at the end, but your face remained serious, “I don’t even know what to say, you’re the best, and I’m so sorry you had to walk in the rain too. Are you warm? Do you need a bath or my jacket or a blanket or-” You cut off his rambling by kissing him, hands going behind his neck as his met your hips.

“I know you didn’t mean it, Eddie, but I also don’t have a great track record. My parents are never around either and I was bullied, like, all of elementary school. We can do this together, as cheesy as that sounds, I don’t want you to feel alone. I also would never send the basketball players after you, if anything I’d use the wrestlers, the captain has been trying to bang me since freshman year.” You laughed, a smile appearing till the last sentence when his eyes rolled. You stood there in silence for a moment, enjoying the peaceful moment, but Eddie’s skin was aching to touch you.

“I love you, like, a lot. Is that cool or?” He asked, making you laugh with a nod, “I love you, like, a lot too.” Mimicking him and his nervousness. Your lips meant one another’s again, a bit more heated due to the emotionally heightened day. What Eddie lacked with words was articulated with body language. Gripping your sides to sit you on his lap, trailing his hands to grab your ass, pulling you closer in the process. Soft grunts left his mouth when you both pulled for the occasional breath. He became louder when your lips went to his neck, leaving a trail of beautiful red blotches in its wake.

While all apologies were accepted and done, you wanted him badly, to prove to him you were trying. When he laid back against your pillows, he watched as you scooted down to fiddle with his pants. His mind focused on the inevitable dick worshiping, but yours trailed to the handcuffs placed between his belt and jeans.

“You know our safe word, right?” You asked innocently, pulling one strap from the loop as he looked at you with confusion. “Yeah, cinnamon.” He puffed, imagining what kind of position or deed you would beg from him. His hands that were placed at his navel, relaxed, were grasped swiftly by your delicate hand. You cuffed his hands and placed them above your head board, his eyes practically popping out. His breath caught in his chest before you returned to his waist, slowly opening his zipper. While he wasn’t used to this behavior from you, he was hard quickly, biting his lip, “Shit baby-“

“Don’t speak unless I say, okay?” You stated, cold, before going back to your task at hand, yanking off his jeans and boxers. You laid down between his bare legs, grabbing them and kissing up. “I love your thighs, have I ever said that?” You could see his cheeks get flushed, watching his face contort when you nip at his skin. You kissed around his cock, keeping eye contact to see his tough exterior crumble with each touch. He groaned, thrusting into the air for some more friction, but you bit down hard.

“Fuck!” He yelped, clenching his eyes when you lapped your tongue against the mark. You straddled his thighs, watching him twitch in front of you, a sadistic laugh erupting from your mouth. You pouted at the black shirt he still wore, grabbing the pocket knife from your bag on the floor, slicing open the shirt till you could throw it to the ground. You took the time to undress yourself, a soft grunt from the man beneath you when you took your bra off. You ran your hand up his tattooed chest, resting your index and middle finger against his mouth, pushing them in smoothly. His eyes stayed on yours when they departed to land on your clit, gasping as you placed pressure.

“You are not coming unless I say so, do you understand? Is it okay that I don’t have a condom?” You questioned, lining him up to your entrance, making sure he nodded before finally sinking down. Eddie let out a soft whine as you made it halfway, taking a deep breath to gather yourself. It amazed you how no matter what mindset you were in, whenever you connected this intimately, you wanted him to take control. You shook the thought from your brain as you went all the way, an unintentional gasp slipping out before you could cover your mouth. You forced yourself to place your hands on his chest, stuttering your hips as you tried to gain rhythm.

Eddie’s eyes followed your moves, taking note of your usual cues. He was taken aback by your brass moves so far, enchanted by the way you manhandled him with ease. But he could tell you were beginning to fall. Your once abrupt boldness was simmering as you rocked against him, feeling overwhelmed by your own emotions and the comforting feeling of having him inside you. Your hands scrunched against his chest, tears falling down your cheek with a soft whimper.

“Princess?” He whispered, your eyes clenching tighter in embarrassment from being on top of the world to submission in moments. You didn’t respond, curling in on yourself as his heart clenched. He knew you were trying, not wanting to back down, but he also knew he needed to take care of you. It had been an intense day for you both, he needed to bring you pleasure for his own form of closure between the sheets. “I know you can hear me, baby, I’m gonna take care of you, okay? I just need you to grab the keys for the handcuffs.” Slowly, your shaking hands inched towards the wooden chair near your bed where his pants were, grasping the keys from the pocket as he put his hands in front of you. A cry left your mouth as you tried to unlock it, but he cooed, “You’re okay, you’re okay. You got it.”

As the clank sounded, he grabbed you close to his chest to roll over, wiping your tears away as you avoided eye contact. He pulled out, laying against you, checking in to make sure you still wanted to continue and you agreed. He cradled your face for a minute, trying to bring you solace in your vulnerable state. As your breathing regulated, facial features relaxing, he pushed his tip inside. Your walls fluttered around him, making you sigh pleasantly. “Good girl.” He mumbled against the shell of your ear, thrusting gently till he bottomed out.

“I’m sorry I can’t be what you want.” You murmured, finally looking at him with hands in his hair, “I-I wanted to be something you liked, you like edgy things and I wanted to be exciting for you. To do something you like, I don’t want you to get bored of me.” You revealed demurely, chest heaving against his, hips stilling as you felt full. Tucking strands of hair behind your ear, he felt the weight of his own words sink again. He never wanted you to feel this way, never in a million years.

“You mean a lot to me, okay? I haven’t loved anyone the way I love you. The way you accidentally trip over my shoes when we hold hands because you stand too close, when you giggle and I literally believe I’m being transcended from Earth, you make me feel on top of the world.” He divulged, “You make me unbelievably happy by just being yourself, I never want you to do anything you don’t want to for me okay? Unless it’s listening to Iron Maiden because I promise just give them a fourth chance and you’ll love it!” You giggled, making him feel like he was in the presence of an angel, “I’ve never been this vulnerable before and that scares me, I didn’t want you to leave. And you never have to apologize to me for being honest.”

His final words made your heart flutter, smiling softly as he leaned your forehead against yours.

“I love you, a lot, and I would give Iron Maiden a million chances for you. You make me so happy, Eds, I’m so happy when we spend time together. I feel like nothing can hurt me when I’m with you.” His eyes deepened at your words, moving himself inside you, “No one can hurt you when you're with me.” He moaned, fucking you intensely as you meweled, grabbing his shoulders. He grabbed one of your hands, lacing it in his, kissing it. The action alone made you clench and him snicker, “You’re so cute, sweet girl.” Your legs wrapped around his waist as he felt you grow closer.

Placing your spare hand on your clit to stimulate your nerves to put you on the edge. The feeling of him inside you with no plastic had you practically feral, begging him repeatedly. He could barely contain himself as you somehow felt tighter than ever, your moans like a symphony. “C-can we come together, baby?” He mustered, breath becoming more rigid as you agreed and placing his lips on yours. When he felt you begin to squeeze, he let go with you, thinking he’s never come so much in his life. Your fronts pressed together as you both arched your backs in pleasure, immediately finding your lips again when you shuttered his name.

He coaxed his way out of your bed despite your pleas, grabbing a towel to clean you both up like normal. He watched as chills creeped up your body, the warm rag still being too much for your fragile state. Your eyes in a slight daze, watching him as he shot you a wink. You looked away coyly, covering yourself in the pink sheets you had for years.

“You know, I usually like to give you my shirt afterwards, but, ya know.” He held up the torn up black shirt, making you choke on a laugh. He fell dramatically on the bed when you made grabby hands, face between your breasts and looking up at you. You laid together doing your usual pillow talk on what movie you had seen or what moves he had made in his campaign. You were glad that the tension from just a few hours ago was dissolved.

“You gotta tell me everything you do, capeesh? I want a front row seat to everything, even if I have to stare at Jason’s dumb face the whole time.” He huffed, rolling his eyes at the thought of the thumb head who ladies seemed to adore. He hated school events, especially during his third senior year, but he would do it just to see you smile.

“Don’t worry, babe, I don’t even like looking at him. I won’t have you succumb to the same fate.” You joked as he smirked, “I do want to be there for your Dungeons and Dragons campaigns because I still don’t understand what makes you the Dungeon Master.”

“Shit, you should start calling me Dungeon Master more often, maybe we can incorporate that in bed like you can be a girl I steal-” You cut him off by squishing his cheeks together, shaking his face until he yanked away and pinned you to the bed. “Whatever you say, Master.”

“Oh yeah, you’re definitely calling me that more often, princess.”

tagging those who have left lovely comments or wanted to be tagged, thank you my loves! have an amazing weekend! sending you all the most prayers, love, and good energy your way.

@petertinglesforbread @downbythebay4 @wicked-wordy-witchy-witch @femalefilmaker @wiltedwonderland @yourthebrokengirl @jessyballet @iheartyouyou @gloryekaterina @kik5119 @missscarlettangel @variety-fangirl @Wheaty_Melon @wigglywoos59 @imsuchafriggensimp @thegirlblogstuff @lovelyladymayyy

#eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fic #eddie munson #stranger things season four #stranger things s4 #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things #steve harrington #steve stranger things #steve x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x reader #elora writes #writing #stranger things vol 1

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delicrieux · 4 years

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☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 13: ...O-OH?

it’s the night of the big stream. y/n uncovers a strange, albeit deep, bond with charlie. corpse interrupts her garden date with sykkuno quite unceremoniously. tensions are high as ever; proximity chat reveals internal monologues and stray thoughts. y/n’s “batshit insane” energy affects everyone. this is, quite literally, the best game of among us bretman has ever played.

─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (if you squint, it’s very one sided) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 6.1k oops ─── ❥ reqs: sum people requested some interaction w bretman + jealous corpse + flirty sykkuno

author’s note: guys....GUYS WE’RE ON THE 3RD “OH” hope ur excited cus i am!!! this was rly fun to write, but then again, everything is better than writing an essay lmao! this is extremely chaotic and a bit seggsy but like a minuscule bit u wont even notice it i swear xx there’s not much social media in this one, mostly written lol. as always lmk wat u think n thank u for all ur kind words n sooo manyyyy ideassss!!! love u lots

ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.

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It’s happening, you think, picking the discreet, angelic white color for your astronaut - with a halo and all, truly, you are a seraph that stepped through the gates of heaven and descended onto earth to grace these morals with your presence...quite literally, you’re not only donning white in game, but also in real life, cute as a button or more like as a bunny. Cat girls are overrated - cat boys, on the other hand, you’ll ardently defend till your last breath - but bunny girls...Safe to say, your chat had been going feral. Your endless ego is fed well. You even swore on your heart that no devilish trickery would follow in this game - you had left your snake ways behind you.

No one believed you. The Roaches know you too fucking well.

The influx of new subs, however, do not. Look at this cute girl! She wouldn’t hurt a fly! You chuckle at the compliments. At the exact same moment, Rae pipes up on the discord call, “Y/n is leering and cackling evilly. No one trust her.”

Demon woman herself must be watching your stream before starting her own. You pout, all adorable and innocent, but your eyes gleam slyly. Truly, a mastermind of manipulation! Look at you go! The chat is swooning. The viewer number steadily climbs past 16K and you hum happily, welcoming all that decided to join your little clan, “Don’t listen to Rae. Wifey is mad because I said I’m not bringing her back a souvenir. Well guess what, bitch, I’m the gift.”

Your perfect image does not quite align with your tone, nor the affectionate nickname you call your roommate (bitch, not wifey). The new viewers are none the wiser though, just like your new stream mates.

There is laughter from people you don’t quite know. The lobby is almost full, but not everyone has trickled in yet.

“Filing divorce papers right now.” Rae mumbles, but you hear the smile in her voice. It makes you crack a grin, too.

More hello’s and shy introductions to the people in the lobby. Sykkuno’s green astronaut pops in with a upbeat, “Hey, everyone! Hi, Y/n!” as his character circles around yours. A collective awww echoes in your stream chat as you, quite breathless at the wholesomeness, reply with a “Hi! Hi hi!” as well.

Corpse is next to join, mysteriously ominous. The discord call is pure chaos, everyone screaming over the other variations of his name while stressing different syllables. Silent as a grave, he just stands there, his black astronaut seemingly eyeing everyone in the lobby.

Alas, when the noise dies down, he utters, “Whaddup, baby.” and it’s pandemonium all over again. You are screeching/laughing along with the rest. His astronaut swiftly glides to Sykkuno, still circling around you, “Hey, Sykkuno.” He says. The latter abruptly stops. The game hasn’t even started, and already - betrayal! Sykkuno starts circling around Corpse now, leaving you in the dust.

“Hey, dude!”

“Yo,” You interrupt, “I’m like here too, yeah?”

“Fight, fight, fight!” Pokimane jeers. You can’t see her, but you’re certain she’s pumping her fists in the air.

“Let’s leave the bloodshed for the game, yeah?” Dream offers past her laugh ridden urging.

“No, fuck that, let’s start this shit right now,” Charlie declares - his monotone is strangely pleasant to the ear, and you lean back in your chair with a thoughtful hum. Something about his energy just clicks with yours instantly, but perhaps you’re judging too quickly- “Got my fucking knife ready to slit some throats. You can all pretend you aren’t ready to kill on sight, but that’s not me. I’ll teabag your dead fucking body.”

-yeah, no, your initial estimate had been correct! What a pleasant surprise, you feel like you and he will get along beautifully.

“Way to be subtle, Charles.” Rae snorts.

“Subtle doesn’t make an interesting game, Rae,” He’s quick to bite back, “and if I’m Impostor, you bet your fucking ass I’m going after you first.”

“Noooooo!” She shrieks, rushing to your astronaut, which is still just standing there, abandoned, like the equivalent of that one emoji, “Y/n, protect me.”

“Of course, baby.” You purr.

There’s mumbling in the discord call, though it’s barely audible. Corpse seems to be repeating the word to himself: Baby...Baby?...Baby...

“You’re gonna stab me in the back the first chance you get, won’t you?” She questions, already painfully aware of the answer.

“You know it!”

“Finally, someone that’s not fucking cowering in their boots and flaunting their real nature.” Charlie says, “Y/n, form a Big Dick Alliance with me.”

“Oh for sure, man.” You agree immediately, trailing to his in game figure, “Let’s show these virgins how it’s done.”

“This is going to be a mess, isn’t it?” Sean’s voice rings with a cheerful laugh, making you flustered. Yes, you’re actually playing with THE JacksepticeyeTM. You still haven’t fully wrapped your head around that part, “I’m very excited to see where this will go.”

“Nowhere good.” You say with unparalleled sincerity - every word you speak to him, the icon, the legend, the one of the few youtubers you actually actively follow, must be genuine. You doubt you can lie to him. He’s too good of a person. You admire him too much. Stuck between wanting to be a shady bitch and an absolute saint, you refrain from addressing him more - you are simply not worthy.

its the y/n trying to act like a normal person in front of jack for me

ikr she looks ready to join the monastery

each day we stray closer to gods light???

Your viewers are snide as always. Gosh, you love them.

The last player pops in, fashionably late, “Hey, y’all.”

“Hey, Bretman!” The call choruses somewhat harmoniously.

“Hi, daddy.” He’s speaking to Corpse now, a smile in his voice - you can hear it even past the static of his atrocious mic. Your eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up. Your friends are cackling, but confusion refrains you from doing the same - were you not the only one Corpse offered, seemingly so long ago!, to be his sugar baby?

One betrayal after the other. You’re glad for the Big Dick Alliance. The name has a nice right to it, too.

Corpse laughs, “...Hey, Bretman. How are you today?”

Damn, two sentences for him, but not even a word spoken to you!? You’re already scripting a very melodramatic paragraph you will text him after the stream. With poorly masked discontent, you mutter, “Wow, thanks for such a warm welcome, Corpse, my day’s going great, yeah, loving the company.”

“Now now miss girl,” Bretman chimes, “we can’t be all daddy’s favorite.”

“Careful,” Charlie drones, “I think you just got yourself onto Y/n’s shit list.”

“Right next to Corpse Husband and Valkyrae.” You agree, “Sykkuno!” You suddenly call him.

“Uhm-Uh-Yes?” Is his nervous reply.

“You’re safe.” You state coldly, “For now.”

“You are not going after Sykkuno on my watch.” It must be a belated holiday miracle because Corpse finally decides to address you. His words seem to awake something in him, “Hey-Hey-Hey-” He swiftly glides to you, standing right next to your minute virtuous angel, “When are you coming back to Cali?”

corpse stop acting weird challenge

literally omg lmao

he does bring up a good point y/n y u not in cali yet?!

^pack it up corpse simp he disrespected the queen when he didnt say hi

“Back off, buddy,” Charlie interjects, “this spot is for Big Dick Alliance members only.”

“I’m never returning.” You inform him, your voice cold like the Arctic snow, and the look in your eyes is no kinder. You feel like you’re having a stare down through screen.

Silence stretches. Is this an intimidation tactic? Because if it is, it’s a paltry one. Your conviction to be petty is stronger than any vulnerability you might feel.

“Then I have nothing to say to you.” He admits and fucks right off with that. Fine, go join Sykkuno and Rae in their little corner of betrayal! Friendship ended with Corpse, now Charlie is your best friend.

“Okay, guys, guys, guys-” Toast, noting this is going to spiral any minute now, tries to catch their attention, “Let’s start?!”

You look into your camera, and the roaches know what you’re thinking. You’re twins like that, communicating telepathically. You are taking back your tender promise of not being a conniving bastard. It’s fucking on. You will destroy everyone in your path, starting with the guy you have a stupid crush on - maybe?! Feelings are confusing, you’d rather just not think point blank period.

With no objections from the cast, the counter ticks away seconds and, for the first round, you’re stuck as CREW MATE.

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Charlie is a gift. Truly, you had not expected such a sudden, wonderful relationship to bloom. How have you not known of him sooner?! It’s a crime that you hadn’t spoken to him earlier. You are a 100% certain if you had found him before you started streaming, he would’ve been a big inspiration.

The two of you do your silly little tasks and curse like sailors, commenting about this and that thanks to proximity chat. You wouldn’t have been able to stand the claustrophobic silence if it was just a normal Among Us game - to think, missing out on all his foully worded quips! It almost springs a tear into your eye. He’s just as unhinged as you.

worried about this dynamic

its a trainwreck lol i love it plz collab more plz

Caught in a headed discussion in Electrical - TikTok trends, or audios specifically - you defend the app the best you can. Charlie thinks it’s super cringe, and you insist it’s part of the charm as you connect wires.

“I mean, have...-do you know that one audio, the one that goes, like,” You’re spilling your words, heated, frustrated that he’s so dismissive of the app that literally saved 2020, “it goes like, uhm,” You clear your throat, prep your voice - even take a sip of your favorite drink. Drawing the syllables, you try your best to make it drop an octave - it must sound like you’re doing an atrociously bad and nauseatingly scratchy Corpse impression with an extra dramatic flair, “My assssssss, your cockkk, you do the mathhh.”

“Did-Did I just-” You freeze hearing Corpse’s voice, finally done with your task. Charlie is muffling his laughter behind his palm; Corpse’s astronaut stands in the doorway, “What the fuck did I just walk into?” He seems genuinely confused, though a strangely winded. You’re mortified. Your shoulders are shaking. You look at the stream chat but it’s going too fast for you to follow. Manic laughter bubbles in your chest and you squeeze your eyes shut, mouth split into a toothy grin, lowering your head and trying to hide the blush dusting your cheeks.

“Hey? Guys? What the fuck are you talking about?” He questions again.

“Honestly?” Charlie chimes, “No fucking clue. TikTok, I think. Ask Y/n.”

You can’t reply. You’re crying. You cover your face with your palms, muttering a soft oh my god before bursting into a full blow laugh, throwing your head back, the motion accidentally knocking your headphones off.

“Y/n.” Corpse calls you, “Fuck was that?”

You’re howling. Your stomach hurts. There are literal tears in your eyes. You think Charlie might be laughing too, but you can’t really tell over your loud screeching. Hastily fixing your headphones, you wipe away the tears stuck to your lower lashes, heaving, “S-Sorry, I-” You stutter, breaking into another fit of giggles. Corpse patiently waits you to calm down. Catching your breath, you start again with a sniffle, “TikTok, yeah.” You idly fix your hair, trying to bite down a smile, “It’s an audio.”

“What- What kind of videos are you watching?”

“The good kind.” Your reply is instant, merciless, “Also, why are you here? We’re having a BDA meeting, you know.”

“I-I...” He trails off, “I...I heard people talking and...I just came here to check it out, but...I’m regretting it.” There’s a lilt in his voice, and you know he doesn’t regret jack shit. You bet he’s smiling. You wish you could see it.

“Bitch, then leave!” You huff. You aren’t sure what is with him today, and you don’t want to stick around and find out - his playfulness makes your stomach flip at the most inappropriate times! Like when you’re trying to sound threatening. You must retreat posthaste, “No, wait, I’ll do it for you.” You say, brushing past his character. Charlie follows after you.

“Dude, you’re so fucking lucky neither of us are the Impostor because you’d be deader than I’ve been feeling since I was 10.” Your favorite companion comments. Charlie is truly a modern wordsmith. You’re pretty sure you adore him, because you’re nodding your head, so quick to agree with him that even you’re surprised.

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A meeting is called. You spare a glance at your fallen crew mates. They will be missed. Sean most of all, God, why does heaven always take the good ones?! The game feels emptier without him, even if you really only passed him once on your trek to Cafeteria with Charlie.

You may or may not have been avoiding him, afraid you’d accidentally say something horrible and he would hate you. It’s a silly fear, though a deep one. And with Charlie keeping you company, you had not uttered a single objectively good, or even coherent, sentence. Your parents can’t watch this stream once it’s uploaded onto your Youtube channel. They know you’re barely keeping it together in most of your videos, but here, now? Yeah, no. Charlie is already hard to listen to on his own for sensitive viewers, and hearing you agree with literally everything he says with your own chaotic ideas? Your dad would stumble into an early grave.

Mom probably wouldn’t mind too much, but you’d have to explain your relationship status again. She is under the assumption that everyone you collab with is your significant other. You’d say it began with Sykkuno, though the exclamation of “Finally! My daughter isn’t pathetically single! We need to celebrate.” had started with Rae. Truly, a scandal.

Speaking of which, Sykkuno is gone, too, but you had time to mourn him already. You found his body roughly ten minutes ago; so torn with the fresh agony of heartbreak, you could not do anything else but cry. It was Charlie, bless his heart, that reported it.

“Someone killed Jack,” You say, voice dripping with venom, “court is now in session. I’m ready to vote the fucker out.”

People speak all at once. Toast roars over them, “ORDER! ODER IN COURT!” as he slams his hand onto his desk repeatedly. That seems to work, though briefly.

“I think it’s Y/n.” Corpse says. You stare at him, hand gripping your heart, mouth falling open in surprise.

flame him

corpse boutta be a corpse fr

beat his ass queen!!!!!

“Pardon my french,” You grumble, “but nani the fuck?!”

“It’s definitely Y/n, I found her and Charlie conspiring in Electrical. Surrealist experience of my fucking life, but it’s definitely her.”

“Dude, we’ve been over this,” Charlie sighs, shushing Rae who was about to comment something - knowing your luck, it was probably in favor of the man throwing you under the bus, “we would’ve snapped your fucking neck the moment you walked in. But we didn’t.”

“Yeah, we didn’t.” Corpse notes, “I said nothing about you, I’m just saying it’s definitely her. She probably didn’t kill in front of you because of your stupid alliance-”

“Someone sounds salty because he wasn’t invited.” Pokimane snickers.

“-or possibly she did tell you and you won’t betray her for the exact same reason.”

“That’s some big brain logic you pulled there, genius,” Charlie says, absolutely unimpressed, “sure you didn’t have an aneurysm trying to connect all of that together?”

“Well,” Rae pipes up, “Y/n and Charlie did say they will kill right before the game started. If you ask me, it’s not unbelievable. And Sykkuno was sorta on the shit list.”

“I’m writing down your name twice, Rachell.” You spit.

“Not helping your case at all, Y/n...” Dream worries, “And Rae makes a good point. Charlie and you have professed desire for murder. I’m just saying! It’s a bit suspicious, you know?”

The next words to leave Corpse’s lips sound incredibly smug, “See?” He drawls. The pressure is getting to you - you don’t understand where this beguiling talent of his to convince literally everyone comes from, but it doesn’t inspire any confidence. Your fist suddenly feels incredibly lonely, so useless - oh, how you long to swing at him, “It’s definitely Y/n.”

“I dunno...” Toast mumbles.

“It’s Y/n.”

“Corpse-” You try, but he's ignoring you - shocker, as if he hadn’t been doing that from the very start of this stupid game - and chanting your name like it’s a fucking mantra or something, a smile in his voice, knowing, relishing in the fact that he’s grating on your nerves, “FIRST OF ALL,” You scream into the mic, successfully cutting him off; catching your breath, you exhale, and continue, calmly, lowly, “get my pretty name out of your mouth.”

There’s a pause full of tense silence.

Then, there’s a sound, seemingly stuck in the back of his throat, “...O-Oh...?”

“Second of all,” You continue, words like honey dipped in arsenic, “This is the clearest smear campaign I have ever witnessed. By how hard you’re trying to frame me for fuck knows what reason, I’m led to believe it’s you that killed them. You’re the Impostor.”

“Corpse wouldn’t kill Sykkuno, though.” Rae comments, skeptical.

“Then the other Impostor did it.” You counter.

“Maybe you’re both Impostors.” Pokimane chirps.

“Y/n would never betray the Big Dick Alliance like that.” Charlie states.

You grin, “Charlie, I literally love you.”

“Wait hold up now,” Corpse seems to get his bearings together, “what’s this about love I’m hearing?”

“I have none for you, dick.” You snap, flipping him off. Your chat cheers. While he can’t see it, you hope he senses it through the screen, “I officially hate you.”

“No, wait-”

“Boo, Corpse, you suck.” Toast laughs.

“Y/n, please-”

“Let’s all vote for Corpse Husband, okay?” You say it like it’s his full official name with an encouraging smile and multiple soft nods. Sykkuno can’t be here to nod, so you’ll do it for him. You eye the rapidly decreasing timer before clicking on Corpse’s figure and voting for him. The VOTED icon instantly pops up beside your adorable astronaut.

“Baby, I-” It slips past his lips so easily, as if he’s not even thinking about it, like it’s only natural to call you that and a spike of anxiety shoots up, making you glare. It’s only halfhearted. You try your best to ignore the rapid and uncoordinated pulses of your heart. Replace unwanted feelings with anger and hate - works like a charm, every time.

“You are not allowed to call me that.” You hiss. The chat spams snake emojis.

“Wait-” Bretman chimes, “Hold up, y’all, slow down a minute. Why does Corpse never call me baby?”

“Yeah!” Pokimane agrees, “I want to be baby, too!”

Pokimane may not have been called baby, but you just single-handedly decided her nickname for her - Target 4. Welcome to the shit list, she is officially your public enemy number 1. You aren’t sure why the thought of Corpse ever referring to anyone else as baby makes you sick to your stomach (you actually do know why, but brain no think at the moment), but you wish this whole conversation never happened. You don’t like it.

20 seconds left. More VOTED icons appear by your friends. Corpse is the last one to cast his ballot at, you assume, you, as the rest wait for his quick explanation before everyone (or not) returns to the game, “...Because she’s my baby.”

Goodbye. Life had been sweet, and there was sorrow, though the amount of embarrassment you feel now is worse than when the internet found your cringe worthy high school pictures on your mom’s Facebook. It’s a mixture of dread and excitement - the pleasure of being noticed, cherished even, though anxious from vulnerability. Someone is screaming a very prolonged “WHAAAAT?!”, or maybe multiple people are, you aren’t sure, your ears start to hurt from the loud, conflicting cacophony of voices as you stare blankly at the screen. You received two votes, just like Corpse, Charlie got one, the rest skipped. With no one flung out, you all find yourself back in Cafeteria again.

Baby. My baby? My baby. My baby. The sentence is playing ping-pong in your mind, reverberating louder each time. You’re actually speechless for the first time in your life; your chest hurts, your heart beating so fast your hands start shaking. Had he meant it? Or was this a some joke? Was he trying to get a rise out of you again? You might just go insane from so many questions. My baby. Holy shit, this is a heart attack, this is what a heart attack feels like, dear God, you figured you at least had ten years before you get one!

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First round ends with IMPOSTORS raining victorious. Your sixth sense had been working wonders since, true to you previous estimate, it had been Corpse. His companion was Pokimane. For absolutely no reason what’s so ever, you change her name once more from Target 4 to Target 1. Normally, you’re all for girls supporting girls. Men don’t deserve anything, really, but now you’re so flustered and still reeling from what you are 80% sure was cardiac arrest that you genuinely don’t care about your established morals.

Round two starts without much deliberation. You get CREW MATE again; the game must sense your growing bloodlust, making sure that once you do get IMPOSTOR, you will not hold back. True power is granted to those who are ready and strong enough to wield it. You wait for your moment with bated breath.

Charlie is taken from you too early. The two of you were once again caught in a discussion - God knows about what, Minecraft, hentai, oh! your server! - as you tried to card swipe for the umpteenth time. The lights blew out and you just knew one of you was getting murdered there and then. Charlie’s voice abruptly cut off, and you think a part of you died with him.

It’s a cold meeting; with your new best friend being the first to go, everyone decides to skip. You proclaim you seek vengeance. When the meeting comes to an end, Sykkuno is the first to offer his condolences.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says, and while he’s not in Brooklyn, you somehow feel him patting your back. You feign a sniffle.

“There’s nothing to apologize for...” You murmur sadly, “Unless...” Your voice turns sharp as the knife that was surely twisted into Charlie’s back, “It was you?”

“NO!” He exclaims, “I would never-you gotta believe me! I would never kill him. I know he’s important to you. I wouldn’t do that, I swear.”

“He was like a brother to me.” You admit, solemn, “Charlie, if you’re haunting me right now, know I will avenge you. I will not let this go.”

Sykkuno hums, circling around you, “Hey, I have a task in Greenhouse. Would you, uh--Would like to, uhm, join me?” Despite the shaky start, he finishes on a firm, pleasant note. He’s trying to cheer you up. Having lost your closest friend, he’s offering you his company. You accept with a soft smile and a cute “Yes, please!” and he releases an airy little laugh. The two of you make your way to your favorite place in map MIRA.

It’s difficult to stay sad for long when Sykkuno’s so sweet; the atmosphere of the Greenhouse is strangely calming; your problems seem to be left behind the shut doors. If you tried hard enough, you could imagine being in an actual Greenhouse - the warm, damp air clinging to your skin, the unmistakable smell of earth and vegetation, the pleasant silence broken only by yours and his hushed voices and clumsy footsteps.

The two of you are talking. Mainly about your choice of attire. Cat first, Sykkuno ponders aloud, doing his task as you watch the plants grow, now bunny, what’s next? You affirm that you will most likely dress up in cow-print next, or as an adorable sheep. He laughs, admitting you’ll look good in anything before he trails off. His awkwardness is really endearing.

“Or!” You chirp happily, content with being locked away with him for the whole game. The idea must be playing in his mind, too, because he seems in no rush to leave, “I could, like, dress as someone from My Hero Academia. I watched the stream you did with Stella, the one where she made you look like Todoroki. It was really cute. You were really cute.”

“Oh, uhm-well, uh, thank you, thanks, I, uhm-” He clears his throat, and despite his stutter, you hear the smile in his voice, “I-I think you’d look better, though. Not as Todoroki. Or, probably as Todoroki, too. But, uhm, what character are you thinking about?”

“Maybe Momo?”

“Momo!” He yeps, “Momo is good. Yeah, she’s great. You’ll-uhm-you’ll look amazing. Really. Momo is awesome. Very pretty. Just like you.”

You are blushing. A stupid, toothy grin makes your cheeks hurt. Your eyes flicker to the chat, but again, it’s going wild. Giggling, you thank him for his sweet words, so giddy it’s honestly embarrassing. Why can’t you stop smiling? This is incriminating. You hide your lips behind your palm.

“...What’s this?” Corpse question. You had failed to note his sudden appearance, too busy gushing. “Am I interrupting?”

“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets. For someone so awkward and shy, he sure is good at hiding it when he wants to. Perhaps it’s all an act and you had been deviously tricked! Probably not, but you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously, finally able to calm down. You definitely underestimated him, you just haven’t figured out how yet, “Not really! Y/n was sad Charlie died so I took her here.”

“You interrupted our date, dipshit.” You deadpan.

“...Fuck you say?” Corpse dares, his voice low and somewhat menacing - for someone who exclusively portrays his emotions through only his voice, he’s incredibly hard to read. This is payback. Your love for wreaking havoc resurfaces suddenly. Serves him right for pulling all this ignoring shit at the start. Maybe you’ll make him say oh again.

Your sly smirk is promptly wiped. Fuck. He said oh, he literally said oh out loud. The Teruhashi fangirl in you is screaming. You had been so caught up in defending yourself you didn’t even register it at first. Alarmed, you look at the camera, then at the chat. First oh, then my baby. There’s no way he had been teasing you, and this proves it. Holy shit. You mouth the words “HE SAID OH!” for your audience only.

now she notices

snail pace baby we’ve been loosing our shit for the past hour

corpse x y/n saikik au enemies to lovers 500k words slow burn im here for it

opening wattpad rn^

Your heart races in your chest - it might be considered an Olympic medalist at this point; flustered yet again, you wish you could cave into yourself. You should’ve brought your bright blue wig with you to Brooklyn. Turns out it would have been perfect for this stream. Yes, yes thinking about unnecessary details always works in distracting you from the butterflies throwing a fucking rave in your stomach.

“I guess it is a date!” Sykkuno admits, “Kinda after a funeral, but still.”

Corpse hums. You’re still too stunned to say anything. The black astronaut with adorable cat ears approaches Sykkuno.

“It’s not.” He states. Your mouth falls open in shock as your date, your companion, the Shoto to your Momo is murdered in cold blood right in front of you. His lifeless body, cut in half, lays on the tiles by the growing flowers, right beside you, “You didn’t see shit.”

“...I didn’t see shit.” Is all you can utter, breathless and terrified.

“Thaaaat’s fucking right, baby.” Corpse coos, “Now I’m gonna report it, and I’ll say we found Sykkuno together. Better stick close to me after the meeting, got it?”

If Sykkuno is Shoto, then Corpse is definitely Dabi.

why is that kinda hot tho omg

didn’t know i needed dom corpse since now but i do

y/n looks like shes boutta throw up lmao

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You follow him around like a lost puppy - because what else is left for you to do!? You’re helpless in this situation. He’s got you in the palm of his hand, successfully eliminating everyone you had previously interacted with. First it was Charlie, then Sykkuno, even Sean, who said hello in passing, was shot instantly. Real Sangwoo behavior. You almost want to scream warnings at everyone to not approach you. You cannot mourn another lost crew mate, you don’t think your conscience can take it. But words fail to form. You’re too weak. You fake cry to your audience. They’re quick to remind you to stop acting like a little bitch.

“Mean.” Is all you say, eyeing the comments.

“Hm?”

“Was talking to the roaches.”

“What are they saying?”

“That I should betray you.”

“...Better not.”

A shiver shoots up your spine and you half believe he will bust down your door and drag you into his basement for real. A nervous laugh slips past your lips, “I won’t, I won’t.” You reassure him, “Don’t worry, I’m sticking with you. I haven’t seen shit.”

“I like that you listen to me. You always this agreeable?”

“You’re kinda not giving me a choice right now.” You grumble, vending yourself a drink while he looms behind you, protecting you. From who?! Himself?!

“Oh my fucking God, finally,” Bretman exclaims, “girl, I’ve been running around the whole map trynna find someone, is everyone like, dead?”

You’re scared to reply. Corpse does it for you, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe? Not sure. Where have you been?”

“Oh you know,” Bretman grins, “doing tasks, talking shit, the usual. You two are not, like, Impostors right?”

You shoot a look at Corpse, but he obviously can’t see it. Biting your lip, you murmur, “Nope.”

“Just your regular crew mates doing regular crew mate things.” Corpse says, no, purrs. Because that’s not suspicious at all. You’d recommend Bretman to run, and not only because that sounded shady as fuck. But he seems to enjoy danger, or he just doesn’t care.

“Hmmmm, crew mates, sure. Miss girl Y/n,” He’s addressing you now; you smile anxiously, “How come every time I see you, you’re with a different man?! Like damn, leave some for the rest of us, for real!”

You like Bretman. You like his high-pitched whine and drawl. You would like him even more if not for the complex situation at hand. You fear for his life. Chewing at your bottom lip, you snicker, “Sorry, Bret. I can leave you Corpse if you want?”

He laughs, “Girl, I’d say yes so fucking quick, but I know he wouldn’t want that. Normally I wouldn’t care, but y’all are such a cute couple it’s making me not want to be a shady motherfucking bitch. Changing my ways, embracing the lord. Love it.”

Corpse doesn’t correct him that you are, in fact, not dating. His lack of reaction unnerves you slightly. Does he...? No! No think! Only exist! You catch that train of thought and steer it away from forbidden territory. Looks like it’s up to you to clear the air, and that is exactly what you do after trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, “Uh, we’re not together, actually. We’re just really good friends.”

“Bitch, then move over,” Bretman says snappily,”go like, back to your other boyfriends. Or find another one. I think I saw Dream near Navigation.”

“Near Navigation, huh?” Corpse hums thoughtfully. It’s a subtle warning, but you catch it. Yeah, even if you try running, Dream’s going to join your other ‘boyfriends’ in the afterlife. Granted, killing someone by just talking with them is kind of cool. Or maybe Stockholm Syndrome is finally kicking in, “Bret, the thing is, Y/n’s scared of dying, so she asked me to stay with her.”

It’s disturbing how good at lying he is. It is also really really attractive, as bizarre as that is.

y/n stop being in a toxic relationship with corpse challenge

making fanart of this omg her face

its the blushing for me girl get your head outta the gutter!

^she cant, it lives there

“Baby, you’re gonna fucking die if you stick with her,” Bretman points out, “have you noticed the mortality rate of her partners? Rest in peace, daddy.”

“He’s right, you know.” You mutter, dramatically looking to the side, “I’m no good, Corpse.”

“Not leaving you, end of discussion. Bretman, join us?” Corpse offers, catching you by surprise. He might still be lying, though. Creating a false sense of security before eliminating Bretman. Probably would laugh while doing it, too. Wow, he truly is evil.

Turns out he doesn’t have to do any of that, because when Dream strolls into Cafeteria, he kills Bretman instead. The two Impostors are finally revealed. You promised not to snitch on Corpse, but you didn’t say shit about not exposing Dream. You press the REPORT button and say just that: “Dream just murdered Bret right in front of me and Corpse.”

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

The last meeting is called. Dream had been voted out with the help of Corpse, and now only you, he, and Rae remain.

“Baby, you know what to do.”

The VOTED icon pops up beside Corpse’s astronaut. Rae wheezes, “No! Y/n, it’s not me, you gotta believe me, I swear it’s not me!”

“...I really don’t know,” You murmur, “I’ve been with Corpse a lot, and...Rae, I’m not sure...”

“Please! I swear it on my Kagayama cardboard cut out, I’m not the Impostor, please! You know me, I’d never lie to you like this.”

“She’s definitely lying.” Corpse says, sounding pleased.

“Don’t listen to him! Remember, during the first round, when he tried to convince us that you were the Impostor? He’s doing the same shit to me!”

“I also remember you agreeing with him.” You remind her.

“I was stupid! Small dumb brain moment! He was using us to win! He’s using you right now!” She votes, “Please, Y/n, make the right choice.”

You’re silent for a moment.

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna vote for who I think it is.” You lastly say.

A slow, lazy grin makes it’s way onto your lips, eyes gleaming mischievously. You had not forgotten your promise to your brother from another mother, you had not forgotten the pride of the BDA, you had not forgotten your beautiful friendship. Two miniature astronauts pop up by Corpse’s at the exact moment Rae screeches “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”

“Fuck.” Is all Corpse says with a laugh.

The screen changes, informing of the first CREW MATE victory.

Your ears are assaulted with different voices as you appear in the lobby.

“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about.” Charlie raves, “I swear to fucking God, Y/n, you even got me going for a second. Pulled some 1000 IQ shit right there. It was fucking amazing. Best back stabbing I’ve seen in a while, and I’ve seen a lot.”

“That was absolutely fantastic, Y/n.” Sean applauds, “I really thought you joined Corpse like some crew mate accomplice or something. Can’t believe you switched on him at the last second.”

“That’s my wifey!” Rae cheers, strolling to you, “Love you, mwah.”

“Hey, Corpse,” Charlie calls him, “How does it feel to be a fucking loser?”

“I’m surprisingly fine with it.”

yeah he would be lmao

mom is the best snake ever i love you sm y/n

rae and y/n’s friendship....the feeeeeels

As the rest sing your praises for another solid minute or two, the third round begins. CREW MATE again. Though, just because you’re stuck as an underpaid worker in a dying spaceship, it doesn’t mean you’re innocent. Your last round proved that quite well. You can’t help but silently snicker.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury--moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fanfic #social media au #corpse husband imagine #myso #make you say oh #sykkuno x reader #if ya squint #imagine #imagines #reader #reader insert

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ladyluscinia · 2 years

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izzy is white and participated in colonial violence against his indigenous friend/co-worker/whatever. he actively executed that colonial violence for his own means so he could have ownership over ed. how is ed cutting his toe off any worse than that?

I assume this is referring to this post?

So first, anon, I want you to take a second and reflect on why you feel like the logical response here is to rationalize how a man could morally deserve his boss permanently mutilating him and feeding him his own toe.

And then I want you to stop asking yourself that because it's insane, it's absurd, and mainly because this is completely the wrong show for either of us to be taking that question seriously. Or your original "how is this worse than that?", for that matter.

The point of the toe scene isn't to prompt us all to start digging into the nitty gritty of every interaction and implication and power dynamic present between Edward and Izzy and try to figure out who the real victim / bad guy is here. It's a shocking escalation that makes doing that ridiculous, and lampshades it if you try anyway. We were already skipping around the absurd situation line when Izzy's betrayal was undone in 24 hours by mugging a guy for a dinghy, and that just puts us firmly past it.

And in this kind of show it can be a really good decision to make a situation too absurd to approach realistically.

I'll put this under a cut because it got very long, but I am actually trying to explain how in-universe handwaviness is a good and fascinating thing, and why you might want to excuse a character from narrative consequences (and how that's different from excusing them from character growth).

---

So to start, handwaviness is normal in OFMD. This is because some narrative consequences are fun and interesting to play out - Izzy's rising frustration and tragic drama playing out in the background cumulating in a great raising of stakes and proper arc set up for Edward - and some narrative consequences suck and / or are boring - actually making Stede and Edward get stuck working for the King of England. So if you do it right you can explore the good bits and drop the bad ones without the audience going "Hey wait a second! That was way too easy." And adding a character level just makes things more complicated.

Outside of Edward and Izzy's everything, the character situations are a mess if we start bringing in consequences. Stede's entire crew save Buttons, Oluwande, and Jim wanted to murder him in episode 1. Jim tried to kill Lucius in episode 2 (while Stede wasn't very concerned by his potential loss), and Edward pulled off a much better attempted murder in 10. Buttons and Roach were actively trying to murder and cannibalize The Swede after Edward abandoned everyone but Jim and Frenchie to die, and the whole crew including Fang and Ivan also tied Izzy to an anchor and were seconds from murdering him. Given all that, how many of these people should honestly just never be in a room together again? For personal safety if nothing else?

Hell, even if your defense is that most of these situations were played for laughs - which they were and I love the mutinies in particular - there's still a glaring exception in Edward trying to kill Lucius. That was right in the middle of the "serious" set of actions that showed Izzy's scenes, so we're going to have to treat it similarly if we don't want the bad kind of dissonance... which you also get if the toe scene gets handwaved but Izzy threatening Edward is treated as serious harm. All three of these are linked. Either being sorry is enough for them all or it isn't, and I would not want to be the writer who had to figure out how to reckon with the long lasting effects of traumatic harm committed by someone you thought was a friend while in a romcom.

If we treat all of these things as serious, are amends even possible? Much less amends that can be carried out with destroying the lighter tone of the show? What about the people around them? What kind of person does it make Stede if he forgives / accepts Edward's treatment of Izzy and Lucius even if they don't? Even if Izzy doesn't realize it was fucked up in the first place (which is now less a funny masochism joke and more a giant red flag for abuse)? And Edward's marooning of the crew wasn't treated as seriously as the rest at the time, but can we really keep stretching handwaviness to cover that if Lucius is being treated as an actual victim right next to them?

And while I'm sure plenty of people would say that Izzy's situation is different because he's the antagonist, he's also an antagonist who has been treated with a lot of nuance and caution. If he becomes the sole member of the cast who is actually considered guilty of his own actions it will be fucked up, and that has some yikes implications too seeing as our main protagonist is a rich white guy who is getting to benefit from handwaviness around race. (Check the notes on that 2nd one too because there were multiple interesting threads.)

Protagonist centered morality gets very unfunny very fast if your protagonists start becoming hypocrites with wildly unpleasant implications.

For all of these reasons, it is a far better decision for the show to continue its policy of excusing unwanted narrative consequences as soon as it's reasonable - via keeping situations absurd enough to pull it off - and that includes letting Izzy off the hook as soon as he learns his lesson. Because this deliberately written and genre embedded handwavy approach is not the same thing as just blanket excusing a character.

I mentioned this in passing in my original post (to keep it short lol) and elaborated in the tags so I'll just pull those here:

Narrative consequences that lead to character growth are the fun and interesting kind. You don't wave those off. You want to explore them.

This is why despite the extensive collection of fix-it fics, fanart, jokes, etc. I doubt most fans would be satisfied if Stede shows up next season, kisses Edward, and all the events of episode 10 are forgotten. That would be a retcon, not a resolution. Edward has to face the narrative and go through the character arc that they've set him on, and he needs to get the development out of it. He just doesn't have to keep facing the consequences once they've done what they needed to.

He can regret throwing Lucius overboard, Lucius and the crew can forgive him, and they can all go right back to hanging out and shipping him with their captain. Hell, the comedy is dark enough they can make jokes about the attempted murder. But it won't make much sense to keep haunting him with it for the rest of his life, so I don't think they will.

Izzy? Is in a very similar boat.

He has to face first and foremost the toxicity in his relationship with Edward, and this will almost certainly necessitate addressing the racial elephant in the room if they do it right. That's the part where he figures out he fucked up and earnestly gets sorry about it.

The thing is after that bit, the logical progression is just making him behave better in the future. It would be weird and inconsistent if Izzy gets the character development but is still deemed "beyond forgiveness" somehow (ex: Edward being unwilling to mend their relationship while getting along with Lucius, or the writers never letting him out of the apology phase). They could maybe present it like racism is a special form of evil, but for Stede reasons that is a dangerous play on a thematic level (and also a bit fucked on a real life level, since they put so much effort into making Izzy nuanced presumably to make attaining racial awareness and growth feasible in the first place).

EDIT: While it's still possible they might be addressing some of Izzy's standard white guy race obliviousness, the confirmation that the anchor hoist scene wasn't intended to be a racially motivated decision very much pushes that out of the spotlight. He needs to address his and Edward's whole toxic mess, but it's now very possible that character growth skips over any race based dynamic because the writers haven't been including that as one of their problems.

So yeah... I will very easily excuse Izzy's actions if he gets the "I fucked up" arc right alongside Edward's, because I know I'm going to very easily excuse Edward's actions and it does not make any sense for me to hold these characters to different standards. The show can still explore themes and character growth despite the handwaviness - in fact in part because of it giving them a way to cleanly exit a serious tangent without having to be completely serious about it. This is deliberate. This is fascinating. And this is fun.

(And tbh I have already excused specifically the Navy plot both because of the toe thing and because it very rapidly dropped in significance as soon as Edward signed the Act of Grace. It no longer matters as a specific thing that was done so much as just one of the steps in the collapse of Edward and Izzy's relationship.)

Also, as a final note... As with literally anything in fiction, people are going to react to things differently. Just like there's people who can't watch this show at all because Stede Bonnet was a real slaveowner, there are people who will not consider Izzy redeemable or who will be unable to handwave his actions to the extent they will other characters'. And if the show does go through with character growth, there is a good chance they won't be satisfied with what they get. It happens. There's not really anything to be done about it.

#our flag means death #this is specifically about genre conventions and how fascinating they can be while playing with narrative consequences #i've been trying not to say *too* much on racism as it is not my lane and as such i'm not getting into details of izzy's stuff in the ask #i don't really have to anyway. it comes down to knowing they have left him capable of a growth arc and consistent treatment matters #izzy hands ofmd #blackbeard ofmd #edward teach #what the hell. i will add #lucius spriggs #genre #my meta #ladyluscinia #ask #anon #(though i pretty much just bounced this into a meta post)#ofmd meta #lucius spriggs ofmd

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