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#a&e never actually told me what was wrong
xzhdjsj · 3 days
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Funny Things I've Been Told
A list of things I've seen in my comments/ reblogs/ dms + discord that stuck with me😭 (love you guys a bunchhh <3)
I'll update this as we go :3
⁀➴
★ "what you do is butt clenching"
✦ "MY THERAPIST KNOWS YOU" + "Im going to sob violently and my therapist will ask why and I'll blame you"
★ "IVE NEVER BEEN THIS EXCITED TO CRY"
✦ "IM SUING YOU OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT"
★ "Hey Ann, what the fuck?"
✦ "Im in your walls sleep with three eyes open"
★ "imma beat your ass"
✦ "Ima hide under a rock and die."
★ "I have not started reading this yet, but i am scared" *moments later* "OH. MY GOD. ANN."
✦ "My therapist will be hearing about this."
★ "WHY MUST YOU BE SO CRUEL"
✦ "The rest tore out my heart. Literally"
★ "evil. you're evil is what you are"
✦ "...Yeah you owe me that for making me cry in public."
★ "NO!" "AND IT STARTED SO WELL" "Why do you keep hurting us?"
✦ "YOURE EVIL." "EVIL EVIL EVIL" "OH MY LORD" "I CANT STOP CRYING" "WHAT YHE FUCK" "NO PLEASE" "PLEAAAASSSEEEE"
★ "IMMA EAT THIS UP" "wait why are you saying sorry in advance"
"oh" "i should've known from the title FUCK"
"CANT WE EVER GET JUST ONE HAPPY XANTHUS FIC????????:;& ($3’ejfmwmfbcmciwoqldb"
✦ "chat this is crayz"
★ "so... you did know posting this was optional right?" "crying in the middle of the mall"
✦ "him crying oh my lord take all his pain away and give it to alex"
★ "guys i haven't read it yet wish me luck" "WHY DID U DO THIS TO ME NONONO" "BLOCKED"
✦ "MURDER ME LIKE YOU MURDERED PICKLE" "I AM A CRUMBLED UP PIECE OF PAPER LYING HERE" "ok so maybe i died"
✦ "what the fuck" "u need to be locked up"
★ "ANN COME HERE IM GONNA BITE YOUR HANDS OFF"
✦ "delete" "its never too late to delete this"
★ "What a... THING to wake up to"
✦ "Sobbing n' screaming"
★ "FUCKYOUFUXKYOU😭😭 SAY SIKE RN☹️☹️☹️"
✦ "YOU NEED TO BE STOPPED" "STRAIGHT TO JAIL"
★ "beating you back with a broom 😭 stay back, Ann" "🧹🧹"
✦ "I'm bringing the divorce papers tomorrow Ann."
★ "it’s giving saku in the april fools alex audio…. 😒"
✦ "F u"
★ "oh wow" "and i cant even jail you for this"
✦ "what the fuck is wrong with you" "WHYYYYY" "this hurt me on a spiritual level" "I actually need to take a break after reading this."
★ "Eu odeio esse fandom /j" (my very limited, very broken Portuguese tells me this is "I hate this fandom /j")
✦ "okay this one's got a little kick to it"
★ "he can be sad all he wants, i still think he belongs in th electric chair" (Alex)
✦ "Love is probably tired of constant death experiences with the amount of times they got killed in one shots loool"
★ "ANN DONT GIVE SAKU ANY IDEAS"
✦ "I’m so happy 🥹🥹" then "I should've known something was up" "I HATE YOUUUUUUU"
★ "The day you stop writing angst is the day I die" + "the day i convince you to write 2 fluff fics in a row is when all angels get their wings back"
✦ "Ouch. You are teribly mean sometimes 💔💔💔"
★ "WHY POOKIE WHYYY"
✦ "WE COULDVE HAD SOMETHIG BUT YOU DID THIS !"
"YOU DIDNT HAVE TO BREAK OUR HEARTS LIKE THIS! YEAH I SAID 'OUR' BECAUSE THIS IS A COMMUNITY ISSUE !!! THE COMMUNITY HAS READ THIS AND NOW THEIR HEARTS ARE BROKEN TOO, NOT JUST MINE."
"AT LEAST I DIDNT USE AN ASK OF YOURS TO MAKE A PAINFUL FIC 317 WORDS AND 1432 CHARACTERS WITHOUT COUNTING SPACES."
★ ANN (WITHOUT AN E)
✦ "let's get active, ann"
★ "Oh Ann🥰 count your days hunny." + "count your fucking days"
✦ "CANT HAVE SHIT IN THIS HOUSE" + "THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE😭🙏"
★ "PUT HER BACK IN!!!"
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taintedpearls · 3 months
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❀*ੈ˖°.𖥔 ݁ casual (part ii)
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don't buy tlou — free palestine
you can read part one here!
pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader
summary: you haven't spoken to ellie in a week, 9 missed calls and 38 texts from her, none of which you've answered, but ellie doesn't give up so easily.
cw: smut, mdni, intimate sex, the knee thing (e!receiving), shower sex, fingering (r!receiving), switch!ellie and reader, multiple orgasms, nipple play/sucking, fluffy, reader lives in an apartment, ellie is very apologetic, barley proofread & semi-rushed and i think thats it. lmk if not.
wc: 2.9k
a/n: this was meant to be like 1.6k words so idk how we got to 35 words away from 3k but... enjoy!
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(1:02am) ellie
please let me explain
(1:06am) ellie
cmon please i promise it'll be worth your while
(1:07am) ellie
i have your bra among other things. let me know when you'd like me to drop them off. i'm sorry.
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(1:09am) you
guess who texted again
(1:09am) olive
no way
r u gonna reply?
(1:10am) you
absolutely not
i made a fool of myself
(1:11am) olive
maybe and JUST MAYBE
reply to her and get ur closure + super sexy bra back
(1:12am) you
what the fuck olive
do you want me to die? genuine question
(1:12am) olive
LISTEN
it might help
plus she seems genuinely apologetic
why is she even apologising?
(1:14am) you
for being a dick and wanting a quick hookup?
(1:14am) olive
because she has feelings and she knows she fucked up?
(1:15am) you
😐 bye
(1:15am) olive
just reply! say sometime tmrw. it can be easy, a quick in nd out
okay?
(1:16am) you
i'll think about it
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(2:03am) you
11:30, you get two minutes
(2:03am) ellie
thank you so much
(2:03am) ellie
i'll be there
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nine hours later, and ellie was a mess.
you had given her permission to come over and return your bra – hell you had her jumping for fucking joy when she saw that message.
but now she had to actually talk to you, and what the hell was she supposed to say? that she was sorry? that she 'couldn't sort out her feelings?' all of which felt wrong (maybe they only felt wrong because she was staring at herself in the mirror while repeating them for three hours... who knows).
but ellie had found herself with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a plan.
a plan to win you back.
she was going to apologize, let you scream at her, and hopefully let her explain, all in the two minutes you had gratefully gifted her.
so, when she rang the doorbell to your apartment after hiking the six story stairs, she found herself staring at her old, beaten up converse. stars and hearts you had drawn all along the sides of the soles almost mocked her.
then you opened the door, and ellie couldn't look up.
useless apologies started spilling from her mouth, panicked words that meant nothing. a collection of "i'm sorry” s and a series of "please let me explain" came pouring out, that was until she grew the gall to look up at you and take you in.
her heart stopped when she did, so did her words.
you looked tired. clearly old yet comfortable clothes adorned your body, you had your arms over your stomach but they weren't crossed, you weren't mad, you could never be mad at ellie, no matter how badly you wanted to be especially in this moment.
words rushed through her head but never made it out her mouth, you were... exhausted. and she caused it, she caused all this pain you were going through. 
“oh…” she softly whispered, her stance faltering at the sight of you, not because you looked like how you did but because she was so mad at herself.
you sigh, you had made no effort to adjust your appearance or put makeup on. you told yourself it was because you had no energy to, but in reality, you wanted to show ellie how you were hurting, that she had caused this, that something fun and sweet had gone sour and at your own expense. 
“ellie, i know i look….” you remove your arms from your stomach and signal to yourself shamefully, tears almost springing from your sunken eyes at the regret you feel for not even trying to fix yourself up, “ but can i please just have my bra back?” you’ve changed your position once again so that you’re leaning up against the doorframe of your apartment, gray sleeves up by your knuckles. 
“no! no no no not at all you look… pretty. really pretty.” she breathes out hurriedly, your cheeks heat up before you spot the bouquet, and that's what makes the tears spill. because why was she here? she had never described you as pretty before, only hot or sexy, so why is she here apologising and calling you pretty if she doesnt just want a quick fuck by validating you? 
tears now evidently filled your eyes, ellie’s kind smile had now turned into one of worry and concern when she saw the tears threatening to spill from your tired eyes, moving forward to embrace you, but she hesitated. will it only make things worse for you? feeling her again? 
“can- can i touch you?” she asks gently, nerves shaking at the chance of you pushing her away for good, telling her she can keep the bra and slamming the door shut in her face. 
instead, you silently shake your head yes and grant her permission to embrace you, it was a stupid idea, really, because everything you felt, all the times she had touched you that you had so desperately been trying to shut out came flooding back and it took everything in you not to sob, the subtle stream of tears gliding down your cheeks was worse enough. you avoided her sorrowful eyes, you didn't want her to feel sorry for you, you just wanted her. 
ellie lets go of you, she’s still standing at the doorway, converse planted firmly on your ‘welcome!’ doormat, she delicately reaches to hold your cheeks and force your wandering eyes to look into her own, staring for a second, memorizing your face just in case before looping an arm around your shoulders and guiding you inside, closing the door behind the two of you with her foot, not looking back once. 
you can feel the flowers gently brush against your shoulder as she never put them in her other hand, but the feeling of them is oddly comforting. you're not sure why exactly it’s comforting, but you do however manage to notice they're your favorite. 
ellie guides you over to a kitchen counter, sitting you up on it and standing right in between your open spread legs, placing the array of flowers opposite to the two of you. you bury your head in your hands, wanting to disappear from this moment and never return. 
“hey…” she gently prys your hands away from your head, and you immediately look up to contain tears, trying your hardest nor to hit the cabinets. “i'm sorry for just welcoming myself in, i assumed you didn't want the neighbors to see you…” the auburn haired girl uneasily babbles, and the tears slow down. you sniffle, looking down at the girl who can’t seem to slow her fast paced talking, and you're not sure how to quiet her down other than placing a hand over her mouth. 
instantly, the talking stops as she looks up at you confused, you sniffle once more and she grabs your hand again to remove it from her mouth 
“you were talking a lot,” you whisper “its okay that you came in, ellie.” your voice is silky, addicting. 
“i just-” she sighs, anxiously tapping the space outside your thighs and staring at her own hands “i don’t know how i can express just how sorry i am, i fucked up. Bad. and your hurting because of it” she spills, shes not even sure if it made sense as it left her mouth, but it’s honest. 
“ellie… it was always more than just a casual thing to me,” you admit, voice getting shallower by the second “and i mean, i don’t know, i always just assumed if i kept saying i was fine with it you would realize that i was who you wanted, but now i know it isn’t true.” ellie’s face drops upon hearing your words, alarms blare in her head because of course it was never just casual to her as well, she’s not even sure why she suggested it in the first place or kept reinforcing it when she wanted everything but that. 
“i know,” she starts off with, you look down sadly, this was confirmation she didn't want to see you anymore, that you getting attached had ruined everything and there was no saving whatever you two had. “but,” she continues, you look up at her again, confused. “It was never just casual to me as well, you know? i’m not even sure why i suggested it in the first place.” she lets out a brief chuckle at the last part in hopes of clearing some of the tension around you guys. 
“but you-” 
“i know i always reminded you, i think it was because i was scared? i was so… infatuated with you and i guess i didn’t want to hurt you. i thought it was the only way.” she remorsefully confesses, and you smile, roles reversed as you gracefully grab her face and kiss her. a kiss that says everything. 
it's soft, gentle, show’s no urgency or panic. it’s natural, and ellie can feel you smiling into it, as is she. 
gently, she moves away and starts kissing down your neck, you lock your hands into her auburn and let out a sigh of content. 
“ellie…” you needily whisper. 
“yeah, baby?” she removes her mouth from your neck, grabbing your thighs and looking into your eyes. “this okay?”
“more than okay,” you confirm, “do you wanna shower with me?” your request is simple, but it makes ellie’s heart explode with excitement as she lifts you off the counter and begins to carry you over to the very familiar shower, the short walk is full of quick kisses and giggles bouncing off the walls when you finally arrive and she nearly stumbles over her own feet. 
you're quick to discard your own clothes, the anticipation building to feel ellie’s skin on your own, the girls anticipation matching yours as she hastily removes her own clothing. Flowers and bra forgotten in the kitchen when she pulls your body into the shower with her, capturing you into a needy kiss once more. she reaches behind you to turn the water on, not accounting for the fact it'll take a minute to warm up and allowing the freezing stream to harshly hit your back. you yelp, moving away quickly in shock, hearing ellie’s restrained snort from behind you. turning to face her, you slap her bicep playfully when the water begins to feel warmer 
“ellie!” you playfully scold, “that wasn't funny!” you’re trying to be serious, key word: trying, but you cant help to let your own laugh slip past your mouth as you join her in the fun. 
“‘m sorry!” she giggles, the laughter between you two dying down “i didn't think it would be that cold!” 
“yeah, well, obviously!” you attempt to splash her with the little bit of remaining cold water on your hands, but you're not quick enough. she pins your hands above your head against the wall adjacent to the stream of water, the glass becoming foggy with steam from the nearly boiling water. 
silence falls in between the two of you. no words are spoken as you move forwards wanting a kiss from the girl, but she moves back. deja vu spikes within you from that night at the bar, days before everything went down. 
she closes her eyes, leaning closer and pressing her forehead up against yours. You repeat the action, you weren't sure what she was doing, but you trusted her. 
“let’s take this slow, okay?” she utters softly, just loud enough so you could hear her over the sound of water pouring, you nod instantly. slow was good. slow meant effort.
with your agreement, she locks your lips into a kiss once again. it wasn't hasty or rough, it was soothing and steady, releasing your arms in order for her to move her own to rest on your hips, your own reaching towards her neck. 
the kiss continuous for a couple minutes, only letting go for a couple seconds at a time to catch your breaths before falling back into each other peacefully, but you were getting wetter and wetter, desperate for more than just kitten kisses on your neck, and you could tell ellie was getting wet too with her movements becoming more and more desperate and rough. 
discreetly, you slot your knee in between her legs while she's occupied with your neck. Almost immediately you can feel the grip she has on your hips become tighter, fingernails digging into the flesh as you slowly begin to move your knee, she groans, dropping her head into your shoulder, moving her hips to match the rhythm with your knee. 
“faster, please” she whimpers in your neck, busying herself again by leaving wet open mouthed kisses on your neck once more. who were you to deny such a pretty girl's request? you speed up the movement of your knee, nudging it up every now and again, removing a hand from her neck to reach down and slowly rub her clit. 
from the way she sucked harder on that spot just below your ear she knew you loved, you assumed the sensation was taken well, your own wetness starting to drip down your thighs, mixing with the water from the muffled noises she was making alone. eventually, the stimulation caught up to her, legs becoming shaky, speeding up your movements and circling her clit, forcefully removing her mouth from your neck so you could bring your head down and suck on her left nipple, and that was her tipping point. 
ellie came undone on your leg with a strangled shout of your name, legs shaking and thighs hurting as you slowed down the circles on her now sensitive nub before eventually stopping, removing the knee slotted between her legs as well as your mouth from her tit. 
“you okay?” you whisper, giving her a couple seconds to come down from her high, the water providing a warm comfort over the two of you. 
“yeah,” she breathes, coming up to give you a kiss on the lips, again, and again, making a wet noise each time, only further fueling your need for her. “more than okay, thank you.”
you smile at her, happy that she was satisfied with your work. you clench your thighs together in hopes to relieve some of the tension that had built up in your core, a move that did not go unnoticed by the dripping girl in front of you. 
“but now i think i need to take care of you, hm? would you like that?” you quickly nod your head yes, anxious to feel her touch on you once more. 
she doesn't wait to get to work on your body, lips going down to suck one of your boobs while her hand moves to roll the sensitive bud in between her fingers, almost instantly eliciting a moan from you.
quietly, she moves her hand that was previously rolling your nipple down your wet body to your core. you open your legs, she keeps her mouth on your boob, but teasing your folds as she ran her fingers through them and pinching your clit ever so slightly, causing you to squel. 
“ellie.. please…” you almost beg, desperate to feel her skilled fingers inside you already.
she presses her palm flat against your clit, ignoring your begs but making you jerk back into the ceramic wall as a small whimper falls from your mouth, ellie smirks knowing just how much of an effect she had on you. she wasn't leaving you ever again. 
lazily, she slips her middle finger into your hole, removing her mouth from your tit. the shower and your own slick providing enough lube that she didn't even have to prod at it. 
“jesus babe… you're so tight” you clench around her finger at these words, and she mindlessly adds a second one. your hands move from her neck to the steaming glass beside you, indenting your handprint through the fog as you lose control over your own body's movements. 
gradually, she begins pumping her fingers in and out of your sopping cunt, lewd and shameless moans leaving your mouth at an uncontrollable pace. she moves her thumb to your clit, pushing into it and causing as much pressure as possible, and it's not long before you cum with a yell of her name, babbling nonsense as she guides you through it. head in her neck as is hers in yours. 
“‘m so sorry” ellie continuously repeats as her fingers still work at a relentless pace inside you “i'm so so sorry, ill never do that to you again.” she moves up and bites your earlobe, continuing to pilot you through your orgasm before halting her movements completely and removing herself from your body. 
you lean back against the wall, eyes closed in content as you feel the droplets of water hit your skin, your water bill is gonna be so fucking high this month, all ellie does it look at you. admiring you in this post fucked out state. you reach your hand out, a silent request for her to take it and she does, right after turning off the stream for you. 
“that was… amazing.” you breathe out happily, she beams at the peaceful look on your face as you peel your eyes open, ellie's smile making you crack your own. 
“i'm glad,” she kisses you once more, the two of you smiling into it. 
“we’re okay?” she asks 
“we’re okay.” you confirm, and ellie has never been happier 
“how about we continue this in the bedroom?” ellie suggests, and you grab her instantly to lead her out. 
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people who asked to be tagged: @a-little-bit-of-everybody ! @lmaoo-spiderman @macaroni676 @p4ison1vy @fatbootymuncher @elliessweetheart
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artists-ally · 2 months
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Hello sweetheart 😘 I really really adore your writing so much ! So, I dare to send in an idea as well 🥰 maybe you're dating Harvey but he barely had time for you lately, so one time he wants to surprise you with dinner at his apartment and you enjoy your time together. Then you both end your evening with lovely passionate smut and lots of cuddles afterwards. In the morning he wakes up before you and takes time in admiring you, realizing how happy he is to have you ? Hope that's not too cheesy ❤️ thank you so much in advance!
{Warm} Reader x Harvey Specter
This has been sitting in my inbox for god knows how long. I thank you for your patience my dear. I love this idea so much, and this song Warm by SG Lewis is just perfect. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. P.S. nothing is EVER too cheesy for me to write <3
Word Count: 3,998
Warnings: Just some good ole fluff and smut, some very soft dom!Harvey.
Tagging: @rosedpetal @blacktreacle22
Summary: After a particularly brutal month in the office, you've noticed some changes. Harvey is just... not present. Rather than demanding his attention, you just simply float by, knowing eventually he'll return his negligence. And boy does he ever.
~~~~~
“Yn, you really just need to grow a set and tell Harvey he’s being a jackass,” Donna scolds through the phone.
I roll my eyes, “Donna, I told you before. I don’t mind. He’s focused on winning this case, and it quite literally is the life and death of this firm. So, while I appreciate your ‘words of affirmation’, I didn’t ask for them.”
“I know, I just hate to see you so neglected.”
“Oh please,” I pff, flipping my head to move a chunk of hair out of my eye. “Neglected is probably the last thing I am. I can entertain myself. I actually haven’t minded the space. Every once and a while it’s good to go back to the basics. I’ve finally learned how to take care of the plants, I can make a mean lasagna too. I’ve even gotten back into reading. For fun.”
“Sheesh, clearly something is wrong if you’ve been reading voluntarily.”
I snickered. “I don’t know, I saw a book recommendation on instagram and fell in love. Childhood penpals turned strangers, turned back to penpals and she found out he’s the world's biggest rock star and he’s been writing songs about her the entire time.”
“Sounds exactly like the fairytale mushy-gushy shit you love. How you found Harvey to fill those shoes I’ll never understand.”
“He’s just… I don’t know, exactly what I need? My life is perpetually disorganized and he’s too organized. We balance each other out. It just works, and I love our life. I love our dynamic, and I love him. Since he’s so busy, and I have the energy and mental space to, I don’t mind picking up the slack. Again, things will balance themselves back.”
Donna sighed, and I knew that flat line was on her lips. “I know, you’re always so insightful. Optimistic bitch.” I cackled a laugh. “But in all seriousness, Harvey needs you. You’re right, he is too organized. He needs you to unwind him. I know how he is, and he needs a kick in the ass every once in a while. So, if by the end of the week, he doesn’t come around a little, just push him. He’ll fold. Especially for you, and that ass of yours.”
A smile bloomed onto my face, the door of our apartment building coming into view. “Thanks Donna, I’ll let you know how tonight goes. Maybe I’ll stop by the office in the morning and bring the crew some coffee, a few bagels as well.”
“This is why you will always remain my favorite. Now go eat that Chinese food, you sexy son of a bitch.”
“How did you know I had Chinese food?” 
“Because I’m Donna.” Then the line went dead.
Psycho. My psycho, but still a psycho. 
I did indeed have a takeout bag hooked in my elbow filled with Chinese food. Sesame chicken and wonton soup for me, beef and broccoli with pork lo-mein for Harvey. I got a small order of pork fried rice and some scallion pancakes to share. I was about ten seconds away from crouching in an alley and eating myself into a coma. 
The city streets were just beginning to fill up with Friday night festivities. Those heading to lavish dinners or exotic clubs, dressed to the nines with pristine hair and outfits. I looked down at my beat up orthopedic sneakers that kept the never ending foot pain of being a museum tour guide at bay. Here I was, surrounded by the most eccentric and busy place on earth, with absolutely nothing to do.
And that felt amazing. 
I scurried up the steps to the apartment building, greeting our doorsman with a smile and a wave. He gave me one back, pulling open the big glass doors. The mild April chill vanished and the comfortable, still air caressed my cheeks. The elevator door chimed open, chimed closed, and ascended to the top. 
21… 22… 23… the floors climbed and climbed. What was I going to watch? The new season of Bridgerton was out, I could watch that. No, the next season can’t possibly be as good as Charlottes. Maybe a movie? Didn’t that second Dunne one come out? I’m not sure I understand the first one enough to comprehend the second. 
The ding sounds, and I step off, juggling my keys as I rattle off more ideas in my head. 
There's always The Big Bang Theory, maybe Two Broke Girls? Nah, I’ve seen those a thousand times. Maybe I should watch something new. No, nothing sounds interesting. I could try to read, but I don’t wanna risk spilling anything on my book. Once in third grade, I was eating a bowl of cereal in the morning, and I spilled the entire thing on my book. If You Give A Mouse A Cookie was never the same again. 
When the door opened, I toed off my sneakers, kicking them in the corner. I threw the keys in the bowl and hummed a song aimlessly. In the kitchen, I pried a plate out of the cabinet and began to spoon food onto my plate. I won’t tell Harvey, but I stole some of his lo-mein. 
“Yn,” a voice spoke. 
I spun so hard I knocked my hip into the kitchen island corner, a scream bubbling out. “Jesus fucking christ Harvey! You could warn me next time, fucking hell.” 
My heart thrashed in my chest, my eyes going a little wonky from adrenaline. I swallowed, bending at the waist to catch my breath.
“Sorry, my love,” he smiled, coming to raise me from my hunched over position. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“A simple text would’ve been lovely,” I sighed, rising to my full height. “What the hell are you doing…”
All words died on my tongue as I looked around. The table was decorated with a white cloth, candles skewed about. There were flowers in a vase on the counter, beside it a card with two small boxes. There was champagne chilling in a metal bucket of ice, a box of chocolate covered strawberries and cherries next to it. 
“Harvey, what’s all this for? Our anniversary isn’t for two months.”
He grinned, that smirk going right to my chest. “No, it’s not.”
“Then what's all… this?” I waved my hand around, noticing a few balloons blown up and taped to the archway. I somehow completely missed the rose petals lining the floor. 
“It’s because I love you,” Harvey grabbed my hips, pressing our fronts together. “You’ve been… dealing with me for weeks now. My absence, my constant mood swings and lashing out. And I know what you’re gonna say-”
“That I know you’ve been stressed and need some time to focus on the case?”
Harvey tilted his head, a flat expression on his lips. “Yes. That.” 
“It’s not a big deal, Harvey. I know how important work is to you, and I know that you’ve really needed to focus so the firm doesn’t crumble and-”
“But I need you to know that you are a thousand times more important than work,” he says, placing his palms on my cheeks. He kisses me softly, stealing the air from my lungs. “Then the firm,” another kiss.  “And anything that has to do with that hellscape. I love you, Yn. And I don’t know what I would do without your constant flexibility with my chaotic life. So this is a very small token of my appreciation. The first part, at least.”
I hummed against his lips, letting my arms lay across his shoulders. I kiss him deeply. “The first part?”
“Mhmm,” he nodded, hands falling down my back, a less than PG-13 flex of his hands on my ass. “First, I want you to open those little boxes. Then, we’re gonna eat and have some dessert.”
“I feel like there's more to this list,” I smile, making my way back to the counter to get our food. One second to the next, Harvey gripped my arm and pulled me back into his chest. I could feel his desire pressing into me. “Looks like I’m right.”
“You’re always right,” he whispered, breath tickling my ear. He kissed the side of my neck, leaving a little bite below my ear. “Go sit, I’ll get the food.”
A new thrill fueled my body, propelling my steps to the dining room. I sat, playing with the end of the table cloth as Harvey brough everything over. The champagne, the card, the boxes and the food. Before he made his way to his seat, his palm cupped my neck and he tilted my head back. His deep, lust filled eyes locked with mine before he kissed me again. 
“Open whichever you’d like, darling,” he sat opposite me, tucking the napkin across his lap. 
“Just because I did what anyone would for their love doesn’t mean you need to shower me with gifts, Harvey,” I said, giving him a pointed look. 
“And if I bought them just because I wanted to?” 
Point taken. I read the card, a picture of a polar bear wearing sunglasses on a beach with a coconut in its hand plastered on the front. 
Classy. It made me giggle nonetheless.
To my Yn,
Thank you. I’m sorry. I love you. Thank you for being here, even when I wasn’t. I’m sorry for my absence, I promise I’ll be more conscious of my time spent at the office. I love you, more than I ever thought I’d ever be able to love anything. You are everything I’ve always wanted, and everything I never knew I’d need. After this last month, I didn’t understand just how badly I craved you. Your smile, your laugh, your warmth. The taste of you in the morning, and those adorable snores at night. No matter how many times I do it, I’ll never get tired of kissing you. Never tire of taking your breath away. I’ll never get sick of you being the first thing I see when I wake up, and the last thing before I sleep. 
You are forever entwined in my soul, Yn. And I wouldn’t dare to imagine it otherwise. 
I love you. <3 Harvey
I looked up at him, tears lining my eyes. He just winked at me, fork scraping his plate as he shoved a mouthful in. 
“Fuck you for that,” I sniffled, brushing away the tears as I blinked. “That was so uncalled for, you didn’t need to do that to me. That’s so unfair.”
He smiled, “I know you love that shit. And before you ask, Donna didn’t come near me when I was writing that. It all came from up here.”
I laughed as he touched the side of his head. “Good to know all those years at Harvard Law taught you something other than corporate jargon.”
“Open the boxes, little devil,” he sipped his champagne, nudging the boxes towards me. 
Both were a dark blue velvet, unlabeled. They were closed with a silver ribbon. The first one I grabbed was about the size of a book, and something rattled inside. I undid the bow, lifting the lid. Inside was a Kindle. I gasped, pulling it out and looking it over. 
“Harvey,” I grinned, mouth falling open. “You did not.”
“But I did,” he smiled brightly. “Unlimited.”
I could jump his bones from across the table. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”
“Well, after you find out I got you a case, a Pop Socket, and one of those stands with the remote clicker so you don’t even have to hold it, you might love me a little more.” I squealed, pushing out of my chair as I crashed into him. We nearly tipped backwards. Harvey laughed, rubbing my sides as I latched onto him. “I knew you’d appreciate this. I know we haven’t been together much, but I remembered you showed me a video of some girl who had one.” “You remembered that?” A new set of tears choked my voice. 
“Of course I did. And I also remember you telling me that if I bought you another set of earrings you’d use them to pierce my ears, so that option went out the window.”
I swatted his chest, Harvey’s smile easy as he eased me off of him. “This is perfect, thank you so much.”
“Of course, my dear. Now open the next one.”
What could be better than a Kindle Unlimited? With a stand AND a remote to turn the pages for me. Harvey has no idea what he’s done, I’ll literally never get out of bed again. 
Practically ripping the box in half, I take off the lid and peer inside. 
I blink a few times, looking from him to the box. “My passport?”
“Yup.”
“I feel like there is something I’m not getting here.”
“There is.”
“Are you gonna tell me or make me guess?”
“I’m not that mean,” he rolled his eyes. 
“I mean you have been ignoring me for the past month,” I feigned being upset, letting out a little yelp when he threw a piece of broccoli at me. “You're literally four years old.”
“We’re going to China.”
Everything stopped moving. I dropped the box, my small, navy blue passport skittering across the floor. My ears buzzed, my fingers buzzed. “I- What?”
Harvey grinned. Fuck, I missed that grin. “We’re going to China. We won the case last night, and I am desperate for some time with you. You’ve always wanted to go, so why not now? I have everything set up. We’re gonna stay in the mountains, we’re gonna go hiking and see some shows. I also know you’ve wanted to-”
“We’re going to China?” I had to make sure I heard him right? I’ve been learning the language for years now, engrossed with their rich culture and history. The cuisine, the art, the music… everything. Had I been in a different timeline, I would’ve moved there. 
“Yes, my love. We’re going to China. Two weeks.”
“Two weeks?” My eyes nearly fell out of my skull. “I can’t take two weeks off of-”
“Yn,” he cut me off, knowing I was going to spiral into a never ending list of reasons of 'why this and why that'. “It’s all been taken care of. All you have to do is pack a bag and get you cute ass in my car on Sunday morning. Don’t worry about anything else.”
“But-But Harvey… what the FUCK? WE’RE GOING TO CHINA? Oh my god, I have to call Donna.”
“Can you call Donna tomorrow? I have other things I’d like to do before you go blabbering to her about how amazing and awesome I am for planning this.”
I eyed him suspiciously. “Donna planned this, didn’t she?"
“She did find the panda place. And the art festival. But everything else was my doing. You can applaud now.” Cocky, arrogant son of a bitch. My cocky, arrogant son of a bitch, but one nonetheless.
I looked at him, dumbfounded. He did all this for me, just because he had a crazy workload. I feel like it should be the opposite, me pampering him, congratulating him on his huge win. Not him fueling my book obsession and planning my dream trip. 
But it was yet another reason I loved him more and more every day. He just did these things, without prompting. Without need. He felt like he was neglecting me, leading to… all of this. 
We ate our dinner, chatting about anything other than the case. I asked about it, twice, and he completely side-stepped my attempt. I wanted to know, but if he didn’t want to talk, I wouldn’t push. I told him the plot of this terrible Mafia romance book I finished earlier in the week, and he listened to every grating, awful point I made about it. All with a dopey smile on his face. 
Harvey cleared the plates, setting them in the sink. He brought more champagne, the strawberries and the cherries. In a calm silence, we devoured them, eyes raking over each other. I risked a look below the table, seeing just exactly where he wanted the next phase of the night to go. 
“You looking at it makes it worse, you know,” Harvey leaned back in his chair, my legs propped in his lap. He stroked his hand up and down, fingers dipping into one of the holes in my jeans. 
“Good,” I smiled, a sinful intent in my eyes. 
He looked from my smile to my eyes and back down. With a curse, he threw my legs off his lap and pulled my chair close to his. Harvey enveloped his mouth with mine, the sweet taste of chocolate mixed with the sour berry and tarte champagne. Every flavor on his tongue became my own. 
I was in his lap the next second, legs folded against his thighs. Harvey kept me firmly planted. Steady. He wouldn’t dare let me fall. I got lost in him, suddenly aware just how long it had been since I truly had him. Truly tasted him. Truly craved him.
He stood, taking me with him. The familiar route to our bedroom whirled by. I landed on the bed with a soft bounce, tugging on the collar of his shirt until he laid on top of me.
“So demanding,” he whispered on my lips. I wrapped my legs around his hips to emphasize my need. “Fuck… I love it when you get like this.”
“You made me this way, Harvey,” I pleaded, eyes catching him. 
“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to give you what you deserve,” Harvey sighs. It’s not heavy, but it’s noticeable. “Let me take care of you, Yn.”
“I just need you to-”
“I know, my love. Let me worship you. Treat you how you deserve. You’ve been so patient with me, now let me return the favor.”
Well, I’d be stupid to deny him.
Delicately, he kissed down my torso, lifting my shirt over my head and throwing it for tomorrow's problem. He removed my socks, then my jeans. From ankle to knee, he kissed and bit my skin, making me squirm against the sheets.
Every nerve ending in my body was on fire, the tips of my fingers and toes pulsing with anticipation. With the last remaining pieces of my clothes gone, he spread my legs, kneeling to the ground. 
The sight of Harvey Specter on his knees between my thighs was… empowering. Not that he hasn’t tasted me with his tongue, I’ve just… always been on top. Never so… exposed.
A heady sigh left my lips, body going lax with the first pass of his tongue on me. I clenched my legs against his ears, muffling my whines. He pushed them against the mattress, eyes pinning me as he sank his teeth into the muscle of my thigh. 
“You know better than to hide those pretty moans from me, my love.” Yes, I do know better. “Scream my fucking name if you want.”
I just might. 
He made quick work of me, practiced movements easily sending me up and up and up. He’d slow back down, torture me with more bruising marks on my thighs while I writhed and begged for him to let me release. I arched up off the bed when he added his fingers.
I was so close, a month's worth of pent up desire threatening me all at once. My mind and body were on fire. I couldn’t hold off any longer. I chase that high, circling my hips against his face. His hands, firmly planted on my inner thighs, I shook, that month long ache finally subsiding before roaring back to life. 
When I thought he’d stop, he kept going. Around and around and around his tongue went. Teasing and sending an endless supply of pleasure through my body. 
“H-Harvey,” I gasped, my body up in flames over his never ending devotion.
“I’ll stop when I want to. Fuck Yn, you taste so sweet. Almost as sweet as hearing you beg for me to let you cum. Can you take one more?”
Again, I nodded, content to let him spend however long he wanted at my aching core. My second release came much sooner than the first. He didn’t bother teasing me, knowing it would ruin all his hard work if he stopped. With a few more sweeping passes, he licked me clean, sitting back on his heels to look at me. He wiped my cum off on the back of his hand, giving me a wicked grin.
“You are so fucking beautiful, all laid out for me to do as I please,” Harvey said, beginning to strip. 
“Please Harvey, have me. Any way that you like.”
He chuckled, kneeling over me. “I will, but like I said, I want tonight to be all about you.”
“Well I want you to fuck me.” I am not very good at being subtle. 
“How can I deny you when you ask so nicely,” he purred, closing our lips together, I parted my legs for him, desperate for the friction of his body on mine. His chest, his stomach, his hands lacing with mine. I needed all of him all over me. 
It didn’t take long for him to slip inside me, every inch of him stretching me in the most desirable way. I hummed as he stilled, his need clear in the way his arms shook to keep still. 
“Move, please please move,” I begged, threading my hand in his hair. With a reluctant drop of his head, he rolled his hips into mine, our bodies finally meeting in full. 
“I was trying to be gentle,” he reasoned. 
“Fuck gentle, I need you. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I know my love, I know.”
With each thrust into me, a new sensation bubbled inside me. My toes curled, my back bowed, my eyes fluttered shut. He quickened his pace, heavy breaths falling from his lips into mine. His air was mine. Every muttered curse and moan and praise went straight through me. He needed me as much as I needed him.
~~~~~
With my mind not fully awake, I lazily fling myself off my stomach and onto my back. My arm knocked into something hard, and I squinted against the morning sun. Oh, Harvey.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, crashing back down against the pillow. 
He chuckled, kissing the hand that accidentally hit him in the face. “It’s okay.”
“Are you going into the office?” I asked, still keeping my eyes closed. Man this bed is so comfy…
“No?” He said, a question in his tone. “Why would I?”
“Why else are you up so early?”
“I was just looking at you, my love. It’s been a while since I’ve just… looked at the love of my life. Taken the time to appreciate just how fucking stunning you are.”
My heart melted, a lovesick feeling welling up in my chest. I turned over, facing the handsome lawyer and grinned ear to ear. “I’m sure I look fabulous after last night.”
“You’ve never looked hotter. Lips swollen from mine, hair a mess from my hands… your body covered in my-”
“Okay,” I snatched his lips between my fingers, silencing his next words. “I did just wake up, at least let me shower before you destroy me again.”
“Only if I can quote on quote destroy you in the shower before I cook you breakfast and fuck you again on the counter.”
My eyes snapped open, meeting his blown out pupils. “You certainly have a vivid imagination for…” I looked over at the clock on the side of the bed. “... eight thirty-seven AM.”
“Wait till you find out I’ve been awake since six. With nothing to do but plot all the ways I could ruin you.”
I rolled my eyes playfully, offering my lips as a peace offering. He quickly accepted, kissing me deeply. “Man, I missed this.”
“More than you could ever know.”
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teatoptony · 1 year
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e-42!Miles Morales headcanons (fluff) ㅡ
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Okay, so, I've seen a lot of people headcanon that Miles is going to buy you anything and everything you even look at
but while that's fine because they're headcanons, let me remind you the boy is 16. He's not gonna be walking into Gucci and buying everything off the displays like a webtoon.
That being said, if he has a little extra cash he'll most likely spend it on you.
I'm talking little meaningful things though. Flowers, books, little trinkets that reminded him of you and such,
if your hobby needs supplies, he'll discreetly scan your stock when he's over and get you a refill of whatever you're low on.
He also cherishes whatever you gift to him and refuses to throw anything from you away.
Like once, you got the both of you matching shoes. They've been his favorite pair ever since.
And also dates.
Dates are a little rare between the two of you ngl, because 1) New York is literally Gotham atp, and 2) being the Prowler takes up a lot of time.
so you mostly hang out at each other's places as a substitute.
But when you do go out, Miles will plan everything down to a T
because let's face it, he tries to act cool but boy is nervous
You're the first person that isn't family he's actually opened up to. He doesn't want you to have a single bad experience with him.
But even if your dates go sideways, either one or both of you always find a way to make it better :)
At the start of your relationship, he's not too big on PDA.
but as it progresses, he starts getting more comfortable about stuff like holding hands or chaste kisses in public.
Once he's completely sure of himself and the two of you, he's always touching you in some way;
linking pinkies, holding hands, hand/arm around your waist, etc.
Never, I repeat never in front of Uncle Aaron though.
It's not that he's embarrassed of you or anything, but his uncle will definitely tease the living hell out of him
Speaking of Uncle Aaron, he likes you.
The first time he heard about you was a week or two after he taught Miles the Shoulder Touch™
Keep in mind, this is before Miles's dad passed away and all that,
so the boy was awkward.
When he tried it out on you, you couldn't help laughing, just a tiny bit.
Then he made the mistake of telling his uncle, who made it so much worse
"Can you please stop laughing? I'm being serious!"
"I'm sorry man–"
"No you're not 😒"
Back to physical affection, Miles is a sucker for any that you give him.
hugs, cuddles, kisses, you name it.
He will literally melt into your arms.
He'll try to deny it at first but it isn't fooling anyone, so at one point he just gives up the tough guy act when it's just the two of you.
Forehead/top of the head kisses? PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E
he needs some soft affection.
He is down bad.
You get back hugs. all the time. extra when he's sleepy.
he will literally penguin walk you everywhere.
A lot of times he'll put his head on your chest and hear your heartbeat to remind himself you're still there and his. Especially when 'work' was hard.
Speaking of, he also told you he's the Prowler.
Of course, he tried to delay it as much as he could, but once the two of you were absolutely stable he felt wrong keeping it a secret.
Especially when he had to bail on plans for some inpromptu work thing and couldn't give you a reason why.
You'd kinda put two and two together at that point, but it was nice to hear him actually tell you.
After Miles comes clean though, his protective tendancies will double.
He isn't controlling or smothering, but he has some strong feelings against you walking in the streets alone after dark and such.
And they only get stronger after he tells you what he does. If something happened to you because you knew, he'd never forgive himslelf.
So he takes precautions. Whenever he drops by your place after work, he always changes first so that no one sees the Prowler frequent some random apartment.
he'll never let you anywhere near his job. You don't need to watch all that nasty shit.
and so on, so forth.
He's also a big whiner. He will drag his words out to the ends of the earth if he has to.
"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa–"
"Miles, my paper's due in two days."
"Finish it tomorrow then. Necesito sostenerte, hermosa."
"...Fine."
Mrs. Morales also loves you. You're basically her daughter in law already.
Which is great!
Until she starts showing you the baby pictures.
"Miles had the cutest little face–"
"Má, please–"
She loves having you around and will let you stay the night whenever (as long as the door's cracked open).
You're invited to every single family event courtesy of Rio.
Miles will try to participate in anything you're interested in.
you like doing makeup? put some on him pls.
he'll also watch youtube tutorials to learn how to do it himself and do it for you.
which doesn't work too well the first few times, but now he's a natural!
his first time doing your eyeliner though:
"Miles, you've been at it for like 10 minutes. Let me see!"
"..."
"Is that– is that a wing?"
"..."
"🏃‍♂️🚶‍♂️"
"No, no, it's nice– it's so nice–"
Rio almost died laughing.
If you like to draw, he'll take you on grafitti dates !
But if you're nervous about that, then he'll just sit and draw with you or something.
don't look at his paper, he's drawing you and will be very flustered (he'll try to play it cool but blushing isn't rly something he can control)
so yea look at his paper
If you're part of a fandom, he'll study everything he can find on it so that he can understand what you're talking about.
He'll most likely like it too, and you guys could spend hours talking about it if you want.
but if he's not that into it, he'll just sit and listen contently to you talk about it with the stupidest smile on his face like :]
He has the softest spot for you even a blind person could see it.
He just loves you so much pls love him back
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probably do a pt.2 soon
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starlightism · 11 months
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ME OR THE TSUM ? — ♡ gn!reader x Riddle, Jamil & Idia
Genre : Just a lot of fluff with some jealous boys ♡ (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠`⁠*⁠)
— The tsums were back and you visited them but when you show too much affection to the tsums the human counterparts start getting jealous !
A/n : this is my first time writing stuff (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) so please be kind . . !
© starlightism – Don't steal / copy my works please !
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You played with the tiny tsum of the housewarden by hugging it, letting it run around and feeding it miny tarts, the tsum was very happy and clinged onto you and wouldn't be so happy when you walked away to get something or do something. Riddle was sitting next to you on his bed. He kept on side-eyeing you and the little creature with angry eyes.
♡。
After the tsum fell asleep from exhaustion from playing with you Riddle walked up to you with a pouty look on his face and hands on his hips "Oh hey Riddle!" You gleefully said "What's wrong?" Your oblivious tone made him turn a bit redder from anger and blush from shyness "I command you to stop..giving that thing affection and g-give some to me too!" He shouted. Aww how cute you thought and then softly kissing the housewarden's cheek as his face turned as red as a tomato "Ehe next time you should've just told me that you wanted my love too!" You giggled at the sight of Riddle blushing "Hmph! I'll remember this! You teasing me..." Was all he could say before hugging you with a pouty look on his face still but it looked more like he was trying to contain his smile .
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You visited Scarabia for some cooking time with Jamil, at the kitchen the tsum helped you out with everything, you needed an onion or knife? The Jamil tsum happily ran over to get it for you, when you were cutting or cooking something it would hug your arm making sure you stir or cut correctly but it just actually wants to stay with you. Jamil that was watching all of this started feeling jealous and even got angry so he decided to teach the tsum a lesson.
♡。
The next time you visit both of them and the tsum starts showing affection to you, Jamil did something reckless that he would never do it again, he grabbed you and kissed you on the lips. The tsum and you were surprised by the sudden kiss, the tiny vice housewarden squeaked and jumped on your shoulder trying to pull you back and Jamil pulled out from the kiss to look at the tsum with a " they're mine " look "I apologize for... suddenly doing that..." Said Jamil looking a bit shy yet cold like his usual self. You simply just smiled and said "It's ok!" Your also blushing so that's good ! But the tsum still kept on jumping around you.
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During gaming night the tsum decided to play with you both too. The tiny thing kept on playing and always won and you always complimented it but Idia was getting pouty, he would cross his arms and let out a sigh as he restarted the game to try and win again but of course you noticed his sourness and you came up with a plan that was awesome.
♡。
You whispered to the tsum your plan: The small thing would pretend to fail the next game and you would reward Idia with a kiss! The tsum agreed with you by nodding and you gave it a small kiss to make it happy. In the next round the tsum tried it's best to play terribly and Idia was starting to be excited, he was smiling and looked even more focused on the game and finally... He won the game! He happily shouted out that he won but immediately went back to his quiet, shy self as always. You winked to the tiny tsum and went over to kiss Idia, his hair turned into a soft shade of pink and it started flaming even more "E-ehhh?!" He expected to be complimented like the tsum but instead he was rewarded with a kiss which shocked him even more "There! Now I've gave you both a reward for completing the game!" You said while smiling "I'll go back to Ramshackle now, goodngiht you two!" Idia sat there still blushing from what happened and the tsum looked quite happy too.
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swirlingthings · 8 months
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so… i accidentally wrote an entire scene based off an idea i posted on here about a month ago. it brought itself into existence honestly, i’m still not sure how it happened. never written anything like this before. it’s called ‘alien thing’. see if you can work it out before aziraphale does. enjoy :)
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And perhaps, after a while, the team at the Saddlescombe and Poynings Observer newspaper office would be alarmed to discover that the crossword they had devised for today’s edition had mysteriously been replaced by one that nobody recalled sending to the printing press, or indeed seeing before at all. And in a cottage not too far away, Aziraphale would settle down into the sofa with the paper like he always did at this time of the afternoon; his slice of cake (Victoria Sponge today - “you can’t go wrong with a classic like that”, he’d told Crowley in the supermarket), his mug of tea and an HB pencil ready for him on the side table. And Crowley, on the sofa next to him holding a small book which had been miracled into existence the moment Aziraphale had gotten up to fetch the newspaper, would be so intent on doing everything possible to not look in the angel’s direction that he’d stare too hard at the potted plant across the room and cause it to wilt.
“How odd.” Aziraphale says, ruffling the page slightly as if he were testing to see if moving it would somehow change the way it was printed.
“What?” Crowley says, calmly. He was incredibly calm when he said this, calmly.
“This crossword.” Aziraphale replies, brow furrowing. “I think… look, look at this.”
Aziraphale shuffles across to the middle of the sofa, holding his arm out in front of Crowley so that he could see the newspaper clearly.
“Look. Here.” Aziraphale points with his pencil. “5 Down, six letters: ‘Luminescent dust between star systems’. I think it’s NEBULA.”
“Sounds plausible.” says Crowley, his eyes not moving away from the paper.
“Well, that’s not all. NEBULA gives us the ‘B’ for 12 Across, eight letters: ‘Parisian fortress’, which must be BASTILLE.” The pencil moves down and waves around a clue, then shoots back up again. “And the ‘E’ from that gives us SERPENT for 10 Down! Isn’t that funny?” Aziraphale says brightly. He looks up and beams at Crowley, who is still staring directly at the paper.
“Why’s that funny?”
“Well…” says the angel, his smile turning peaceful. “I don’t know. It just made me think of you, I suppose. What with your being a serpent in Eden, and rescuing me from the Bastille. And the nebulas, from Before…” Aziraphale laughs softly and settles back on his side of the sofa. “I don’t know. I’m being silly. I just thought it was funny.” he says, running a hand through his hair and picking up his mug.
And perhaps the minutes would pass, and Aziraphale would think between sips of tea and scribbles of pencil that there really was something rather odd about this crossword, wasn’t there? 17 Down, eight letters: ‘Machine run by rotating vanes’. WINDMILL. That was the name of the theatre in Soho where he had performed his magic show. Crowley had almost shot him. They’d had wine afterwards, in the bookshop. 2 Across, seven letters: ‘Remarkable and unbelievable occurrence’. That had to be MIRACLE. 21 Across, five letters: ‘Japanese vinegared rice dish’. SUSHI. His favourite.
And Crowley would sit excruciatingly still, in absolute silence, and make no attempt to actually read the book he was holding open in his lap. He would be far too busy trying to look cool.
“Crowley…” Aziraphale looks up at him, after a while, another smile creeping across his face. “26 Across is INEFFABLE.”
“Oh? You stuck?” Crowley says, stretching out his legs and keeping his gaze fixed on a page of the book. Wait… was he holding it upside down?
“What?”
“Well, if it’s ineffable you can’t describe it in words, can you? So you don’t have the answer?” Crowley slithers down the sofa cushion and holds the book in front of his face. He’s a very busy demon with important things to be busy with. “Finding the word’s the whole point of a crossword. You must be stuck.”
“No, I mean the answer is INEFFABLE, Crowley.” Aziraphale’s smile spreads wider. “You know full well what I mean!” he said, nudging him sharply with his feet. Another “Oh?” emanates from somewhere behind the book, which Aziraphale grabs and puts to one side.
“What on Earth have you done?” he laughs, his eyes first on Crowley then returning to the paper. “14 Down: ‘A small settlement without a church’... HAMLET! Oh Crowley, the play!” he says, jotting it down with the pencil.
Crowley smiles too. “How are you doing on the letters?”
“Yes, it’s six letters, HAMLET.”
“No, I mean the letters in bold. In the boxes. For the final bit.”
Aziraphale looks back at the paper, and notices that around a few of the letters he had already pencilled in, the margins of the boxes were heavier than the rest.
“It’s a puzzle thing. What’s it called… an anagram.” Crowley continues, leaning over on one arm and turning to face him. “Look at the letters in bold and it makes something else.”
Aziraphale gasps excitedly, and starts to note down the emphasised letters in a patch of empty space towards the bottom of the page. The ‘A’ from BASTILLE, the ‘E’ from SERPENT, the ‘L’ from NEBULA…
“Crowley…” he says smugly, and proudly folds the paper to his chest to indicate he is finished with it. “Is it AZIRAPHALE?”
“Don’t just guess. Work it out.” Crowley says gently. Aziraphale’s pencil resumes its scratching against the paper. He wonders how he ever lived in his flat in Mayfair, void of this softness and this warmth and this angel. They’ve been in the cottage now for a good few years. It’s all the things he loved about Aziraphale’s bookshop, with the added bonus of never worrying if he’s overstayed his welcome. It’s theirs, together, completely. He’s forgotten he was ever holding a book, let alone supposed to be busy doing something else, like trying to look cool.
“Oh, no, there’s the N from WINDMILL.” Aziraphale mutters, leaning forward to write on the paper which is now resting neatly on his knees. “Unless… I was wrong about that one?”
“Don’t look at me, I’m saying nothing.”
“No, I’m not wrong. Hold on.”
Crowley sits up a bit more, putting his elbow on the back of the sofa cushion and leaning the side of his head against his hand. He listened to Aziraphale continuing on - “I’ve got ALIEN. Hmm, wait…” - while he curled up his legs underneath himself. His nerves had eased slightly (Aziraphale’s smile had that effect on him) but had not dissipated.
“INHALE? No, no, there’s two ‘I’s. Oh, I’m still missing some!” Aziraphale says. There was another comfortable pause while he scanned the remaining clues.
“Right. 6 Across must be… PEAR. I love pears. That one doesn’t get us any further with the anagram, though.” Aziraphale says, looking over at Crowley as if he were learning this for the first time and might be disappointed by the news. As if he hadn’t snuck downstairs in the middle of the night on three separate occasions last week to draft every detail in a notebook which promptly ceased to exist once he’d finalised his plan. He’d sent off the miracle at one in the morning.
“16 Across, ten letters: ‘Destruction of civilisation’. Well, that’s rather dramatic.” Aziraphale looks up, a tad disapprovingly. “APOCALYPSE? No, that doesn’t fit with HALO - the penultimate letter must... oh, ARMAGEDDON! Of course. Wonderful! That gives us a second ‘N’.” he says triumphantly.
“Aren’t you clever.” Crowley says, which earns him another sharp nudge in the thigh.
“And then we have the ‘G’ from GARDEN, which gives us… the ‘T’, from BENTLEY. Is it definitely not ALIEN, then? I’ve got ALIEN THING.”
“No, angel, it’s not ALIEN THING. Stop guessing. You’re still missing some, look at it carefully.”
There’s another patch of silence. Crowley shifts uncomfortably on the cushion, unfurling his legs and stretching them out over the edge of the sofa again. He scratches the back of his head and resumes staring at the now fully wilted plant opposite him. His nerves are back. Not long to go now. Aziraphale’s clever, really clever, and he does one of these things every aftern-
As if on cue, the angel suddenly sits bolt upright.
The silence hangs in the air. Questions like ‘Why did I think this was a good idea?’ and ‘How am I going to pretend this never happened?’ start to creep into Crowley’s brain. His face feels hot.
“Oh, Crowley…” Aziraphale says, with almost palpable softness. Crowley dares to glance over: Aziraphale’s holding the paper with both hands and looking down at it, eyes beginning to water.
“Crowley…” he says again, frantically scanning every inch of the paper. He wants to be sure he’s right before he says anything. Crowley knows he will be, and briefly considers whether he could get away with stopping time, but it’s too late for that now.
“It’s NIGHTINGALES.”
Aziraphale looks up at him.
“Is it?” Crowley says, in a tone which he hoped sounded like he actually was learning this for the first time.
“Oh Crowley!”
He suddenly finds himself pressed against various layers of linen and wool.
“You sweetheart!” Aziraphale squeals, as he pulls him up from the sofa cushion and into the hug.
Crowley’s growl is muffled slightly by Aziraphale’s shoulder. “I’m not sweet, I-” Whatever he tried to say next would surely be drowned out by Aziraphale’s laughter anyway, so he lets it go.
“You’re so clever.” Azirpahale says, settling himself directly beside Crowley and reaching for the paper, which he had flung to the floor when he’d moved. He looks over it again. “It must have taken forever, to work out all of that.”
“Nah. It was nothing, angel.”
Aziraphale smiles at the paper. “Well, I am thoroughly impressed. I…” He turns to look Crowley in the eyes. “I should have worked it out sooner than that. I didn’t… I didn’t realise that’s what you were trying to say. That that was the point of it, I mean.”
“Don’t worry. I knew you’d get them all.”
“That was very romantic of you, you know. To do all of that and have it be about us.”
“Shut up.”
“Well, it was.” Aziraphale smugly folds the paper in half. “I love you too.”
“Yeah, yeah, alright. Make my day.”
He gets a kiss on the cheek for that.
“Gosh, I expect the rest of my tea has gone a bit cold now.” Aziraphale says, without any trace of complaint. He wiggles back over to his side of the sofa and has a forkful of cake. “Well, that was exciting. I didn’t know they let people submit their own crosswords.”
There was a pause.
“Crowley.”
“It’ll be fine.”
“Oh Crowley no, that’s awful. You should have asked for their permission.”
“Don’t worry.” He smiles at Aziraphale. “They won’t notice.”
-
the end :))
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kitchenisking · 2 months
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May Fic Rec
Nicotine by honorarystar - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 3,404, sterek)
Stiles wants to take a nap at Derek's place. Derek thinks he smells too amazing for his own good. Or Derek's for that matter.
UST (An Unfortunate Series of Tropes) by ureshiiichigo - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 54,259, sterek)
Stiles and Derek sitting in a tree, M-A-R-R-I-E-D. 
Wait, what? 
Or: Stiles thought he and Derek were finally getting to be bros, and then Deaton had to go and ruin everything with his stupid spell.
For the hour of great humiliation by Naicele - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 8,278, sterek)
There are witches, but maybe they are mostly a plot device to get Stiles and Derek to spend time in very close proximity. -- “Stop that,” Derek growls. “Stop what?” he whines, because, this situation is worthy of some complaining on his part “Stop smelling like that,” Derek hisses, breath hot on Stiles’s ear. “How do I stop smelling? Dude that’s insane,” he whispers back. “What do I even smell like,” he adds and then immediately regrets it. Surely Derek can’t smell that on him, can he?
Point me where my life begins by Gotta_seduce_the_Rainbow - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 39,430, sterek)
When Derek wakes up without his memory, he is left with nothing but a note he wrote himself. He no longer remembers anything personal, not himself, not anyone else.
The note is pointing him towards the town Beacon Hills and once he is there, he is greeted by strangers telling him “Dude, I didn’t know you’re back in town”, which is confusing. Apparently, he grew up in Beacon Hills, but left a few years ago without telling anyone about it.
There is this one stranger, who calls him dude and has the most amazing scent. Derek might just want to start his new life here. With this person.
let’s make a reckless memory by EvanesDust - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 4,283, sterek)
[excerpt] "Stiles…" Derek groaned, his head dropping between Stiles's shoulder blades as he thrust his cock against Stiles's hole. "God, please tell me you know that I love you."
Stiles clenched in response, desperately wanting to be filled, and nodded. They'd only been dating for a week when Derek first told him. It was New Year's, and they'd just kissed at midnight. "Y-Yeah, I know. I know you love me. I love you, too."
And he did. So fucking much.
"Good. Because I'm going to fuck you like I don't."
…or the one where Stiles surprises Derek by coming home for spring break, and they fuck in the sheriff’s station.
Can't Start a Fire Without a Spark by Nerdy_fangirl_57 - (Rating: T, Words: 8,945, sterek)
After the whole ordeal with the nogitsune Stiles struggles with proving to himself that he can be good again. He starts learning to control his spark in hopes that he could be helpful to the pack once he manages to channel it's power. Everyone thinks it's a great idea and are willing to help him anyway they can, but Scott, Scott doesn't see the point in it.
It's not like Stiles' tiny spark could ever be powerful enough to be an actual asset to the pack.
Stiles just wants a chance to prove himself.
Million Reasons by FireAndIceHeart - (Rating: T, Words: 20,474, sterek)
After a nasty fight between Derek Hale's Pack and three witch sisters, Derek kicks Stiles out of the pack. His friends abandoned him and his father is always at work and Stiles has never felt so alone. Well at least now he has the time to think of all the reasons why he deserves to be in the pack and figure out where it all went wrong. That is...until he gets kidnapped.
I'm Only Human by DarkAlpha67 - (Rating: T, Words: 3,477, sterek)
Stiles has always placed other’s needs above his own… And no one ever took the time to notice the strain that burden had on him.
Until him…
*
In which Stiles neglects to take care of himself and ends up in the hospital where he will learn a werewolf pack is just another word for Family.
Hale's Theory of Exclusivity by kitsunequeen - (Rating: T, Words: 4,098, sterek)
For the request: "Stiles visits a wolf rescue/sanctuary type thing (like the one TW donated to!!) and gets really friendly with the pack alpha and then he comes back and Derek is all angsty because /another alpha's scent is all over Stiles/." --- “You’re the one,” he huffs, “you’re the one who was always trying to assure me that my past relationships were unhealthy. That I deserved something better. And this? This is your idea of healthy?”
“Are you seriously throwing that in my face?” Stiles demands, tears suddenly pricking at his eyes. He wipes them away roughly, jamming his hand in his pocket. “That’s- that’s pretty shitty, dude.”
“Are you kidding me?” Derek seethes. How is this happening? How on Earth is this spiraling so badly? “I’m throwing it in your face? You go around pretending we’re exclusive, and I’m the one acting shitty?”
“You know what?” Stiles snaps, tears streaming freely now. The room is swirling with the scents of hurt and confusion and anger and betrayal and- “Fuck you, Derek.”
Happy Son Happy Spouse Happy House by alikatastic - (Rating: Not Rated, Words: 3,085, sterek)
Eli was so much like him, a stark reminder of who he was at sixteen. It was a grand statement of nature vs. nurture. Eli Hale might not have shared any DNA with him, but there was never a doubt that he was Stiles’ son, his pup. Stiles would do anything for his kid; missing sleep after a long case and threatening the Coach were small tasks for him. As long as Eli was happy, Stiles was happy, and if Stiles and Eli were happy, so was Derek.
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ataraxiasflame · 28 days
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Let’s say that the Az BC was actually a Lucien BC. Let’s say that Lucien had a similar inner monologue during the same interactions with Elain…
…calling her ‘the third’.
…describing touching her as ‘so wrong’.
…emphasizing several times what HE needed from her body.
…claiming he hadn’t thought about a future with Elain beyond the ‘fantasies he pleasured himself to’.
…being willing to kill any other male for showing an interest in her.
Imagine Lucien’s flames becoming embers in Elain’s presence and him pointing it out too.
Imagine Lucien leaving that interaction, after calling almost kissing Elain a mistake, then immediately interacting with another female who caused his chest to spark as he imagined her reaction to receiving the gift he’d originally bought for Elain.
Honestly, even thinking about Lucien doing this gives me the biggest ick, because Lucien would NEVER even think of doing any of this to any female, let alone his mate, but…let’s just consider it.
Can you imagine anyone in the fandom trying to claim that Elain and Lucien were endgame after a BC like this? It would be SO obvious that the author is showing that Elain and Lucien are not compatible beyond their physical attraction even with a bond. No one would be able to argue that the Elucien ship had sunk.
And the way people would rip Lucien to shreds kinda like everyone did to Tamlin for thinking about Elain this way and use it as clear evidence that the bond will be rejected…Even I, a fierce Lucien supported and defender, would hate to even consider defending this kind of behavior from him.
Yes, the big difference between the two BC’s is the existence of a bond between Elain and Lucien. But that just proves my point even more because everyone would be screaming about the obvious rejected-bond foreshadowing because of his behavior.
So why is this behavior considered romantic because Azriel does it? Why does it seemingly confirm to some that Az and Elain are destined to be together? Why is this less obvious because it’s Azriel?
As a BC alone, this chapter makes it pretty clear that E/riel just doesn’t work even when they tried. If they were that compatible, Az would never have been able to stay away from Elain. This was the same guy who told Rhys to chain him to a tree and he would still rip it up to defend his loved ones. He truly believes that the cauldron was wrong and that Elain is his mate? Well, Cassian couldn’t stay away from his mate. Even while dying, he still crawled to Nesta.
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thatbitchery · 6 months
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& remember the first sign of a loser loser loser loser is hating school. Yall should've unfollowed me 2023 this year I'm laying it on you as is.
If you're not in some sort of murder level clas enroll right now. & it has to be so hard it feels like a death sentence
Ladies any form of "escape the matrix" and "you don't need school" & whatever school hating content out there is level down programming meant to keep you stuck and weak. School is the closest imitation to real life you get so dropping a class because it's too hard is your sign to tie yourself to your moms basement and never leave because you sure as heaven not making it in corporate, business, friendships, relationships, and, God Forbid, parenting. You Manifest a future as a stone because that's the most you can do with that mentality. Dropping out because you have anxiety is another great sign to move to the Amazon and cosplay a sloth because if you think there are human interactions in the adult world that won't make you feel anxious ahhh baby my baby. You got it so wrong, baby. If you can't focus in a 30 minute lesson just take your dream board & burn it up burn it upp and try your hand at being a house fly you'll have better luck. If you drop a class because you don't like the teacher stay as far away from romantic relationships and friendships and , especially, corporate & entrepreneurship because girly don't we have news for ya. Can't manage your time? And you want to be a CEO? Are you kidding?
School is the closest imitation to real life you get & the better you are at it the better you are at life, the harder your school life is the better your real life will be. & I mean take biochem engineering & aeronautical engineering first year college, get your ass run over by it BUT learn to sit still, to power through, teamwork, study techniques, etc so no one cares about your A [fun fact most A students don't make it] but did you power through it? K then junior year do the thing you actually like.
Not liking school for whatever reason is loser mentality if you couldn't make it past test drive what makes you think you'll make it on the highway. Back in high-school when I told my grandma I'm giving up on my scholarship because I'm getting bullied and tortured and ostracized her response wasn't a hug it was a slipper grandma of color style because do you think that won't happen in your adulthood? You think you run from a problem and it goes away? Go back in and make it tf. Notice how I'm not focused on what grade you get? My friend works at firm (one of the top of the country) that don't employ people with a history of As , it's not about academic excellence, can you get to cheer practise at 6 am and be in class by 7? What makes you think you can be a mom then? "Independent" can you schedule yourself? Manage classes, sports, hobbies, a part-time job, home chores , friendships, and free time? WHAT DO YOU THINK ADULTHOOD IS ABOUT? what makes you think running from that in school (where you have guidance & forced community) will keep you safe? Out here you're all alone sis. And now the government protects you like a treasure that ID days 18 and its up to you to protect yourself. If you can not sit still in a 30 minutes class you don't like what makes you think you're cut out for corporate? Yall ain't never left your moms house and it shows, no one that has been in the real world has that level of delulu.
Pick the damn calculus class & power from an E to a C- so when you're running your business & you meet hard things you dislike you have muscle memory to power through it & bc your business is something you like it's easier. Go to school with the girls that dislike you & find a way out of that so when your mom in law or officemates are being flaky you know what to do, you don't run. Sit through that class with that one homphobic sexist bigoted teacher so when you land a job at your dream firm you don't resign in six days and sabotage shit because you're delulu enough to think your little tantrum matters.
School , especially boarding school, is the closest imitation to real life you get. Power through it, take advantage of the resources & always chase the hardships now that you have people charged with guiding you so you're not 25 unmotivated with no accomplishment despite your A's , barely functional adult feeling like a loser because you let tiktok & escape the matrix bojo creators lie to you. Do you want to be one of those 35 year olds heavy on magical thinking because you didn't learn what your parents literally paid for you to learn under the guise of 'self care'. Don't be dumb dumb.
Success spills over
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fudanshidoublevision · 4 months
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It's pretty funny how the three love interests have something in common 。。。。besides their obvious interest (Haley) and obsession (Double Vision and Ray) towards the MC of the game.
The three of them smoke, which might be something banal for some but I like to hold into small details like these and make up stuff.
Haley takes smoke breaks, Ray smokes when he is in your apartment and Double isn't shown smoking in the game but he does on his birthday illustration. ᶘ ⊙ᴥ⊙ᶅ
Not sure if that was on purpose or just a coincidence but either way, it makes sense to me.
Ray, especially, the fact that he smokes.
Considering that he spent most of his pre-teen and teenage years until he was 18 years old living with Steel Sheriff and remember, Steel Sheriff is a shitty person and a BAD influence, so it makes sense that maaaybe that bad habit was influenced by that horrendous man and Ray took a hold into it.
Ray strikes me as the type of guy who's addicted to nicotine and honestly? I don't blame him at all, that man went through so much shit since he came out of his mother's womb so if he EVEN chain smokes, it wouldn't faze me at all.
Not sure if Ray smokes only at night but someone dear to me does and well, the only time of the day Ray is completely free of any duty is at night, as far as i've seen? Also, smoking at night sounds...right to me, he takes notice of you and opens the window so he isn't stinking up your place...which is surprising, the only smokers I know always smoke in secluded places and I can smell it all the way into my bedroom. ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ
I'm aware that nicotine has some benefits but we are talking about Ray, who is freaking Binary Star, HIS ABILITY???? EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. /j This man does not GAF about the side effects or the benefits of smoking. Out of the three I believe that Ray is free from any illnesses or any type of side effects, heh.
Now, Haley, they are shapeshifter...? Correct me if I'm wrong, im an amateur on the Haley department. Crazy idea but imagine if they smoke on their cat form, holy fucking shit. Their brain, gastrointestinal system or even their heart is not safe though...but I believe that they can easily shift into any animal with the strongest lungs ever and live another day without being worried about any complications? Huh, this sounds batshit crazy so I think I'll stop writing this part.
Like Ray, Haley seems to smoke as a sedative, what if they smoke herbal cigarettes? Also, I believe that they can easily quit if they want to (heh, now that I'm reading this part i forgot that this is something most addicts say, LOL.) , which I beg to differ when it comes to Ray or Double, I don't judge them, just an observation I guess.
At last, my favorite character and current obsession, Double Vision.
Cigarette smoking, yeah but what about vaping? He looks like the type of guy that would vape or maybe is it too tame for him? Maybe he wants something stronger. Wait, does anyone really need a reason to smoke? ಠಿ_ಠ
People say that vaping is less hazardous than smoking but to me? It's the same thing, most e-cigarretes contain nicotine but yeah, you are inhaling smoke from burning tobacco when you smoke a cigarette. I don't know anything about vaping. It's pretty popular in my country though, never tried it but my friend told me that vaping feels and tastes different from smoking, so I believe their judgement.
Forgive my yapping, like I was saying! He isn't safe from the lung cancer, at all. Yeah, this man can do sick tricks with the smoke, for sure... I'm not going to name any because I might be wrong but you name it and maaaaaaaybe he would be capable of doing it, if you can do something for him back, of course. Oh, I'm 100% sure this freakazoid throws the smoke in your face on purpose, I find that hot actually...if only my nostrils and eyes could say the same about that. If he does that, I'll be coughing like I have asthma until I die.
Hmm, I can't think of when he started smoking...maybe on his teenage years? After all, I think it was at that time that he started to get along with shady people and ugly business. The power of influence and their ambience might be a big factor of this habit on these guys. Heavy on Ray.
That's everything I could think of. For now.
If you are a real person, don't smoke, I guess?. Do whatever you want BUT DON'T BE TELLING ANYONE THAT TUMBLR USER fudanshidoublevision encouraged you to do it.
If you are fictional character, yassss smoke all you want beautiful inexistent individual, you don't exist after all!
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GODDAMN!!!!!! I MIGHT START SMOKING RIGHT NOW IF I CAN LOOK THIS HOT 😍😍😍 GIVE ME THAT CIGARETTE 🔥🔥🔥
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hpimagines · 4 months
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Slytherin boys- Confession letters
( No Blaise in this one, I’m sorry to my Blaise girlies</33 )
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Mattheo Riddle-
You opened your book bag to find a extremely folded up piece of notebook paper with a bunch of random rose doodles around it and opened it suspiciously
I don’t know what i’m doing right now, this is honestly so stupid. Anytime I’m near you it’s like I get a rush of shit i’m not used to and if I told you this in person I think id shit myself so take this and my awful wording. Y/n I’ve been in love with you since before I knew what love was, that rush of emotions I brought up before I understand what it is now, I’ve loved you, and I’ll continue to love you if you’ll let me, please Y/n, let me love and protect you forever. - your favorite dada partner ;)
Theodore Nott-
You were sitting in the Library when Theo walked passed and left an envelope in front of you, before you could question anything he hurried off seemingly in a rush, your name was on the letter so you opened it slowly
Y/n, If you’re reading this that means I wasn’t a little bitch and actually gave it to you, so congratulations. I’m going to make you work for this so get your translation book out, Hai cambiato la mia vita y/n, onestamente non so cosa farei senza di te a questo punto, tutto quello che so è che ti amo e voglio che tu sia mio, tutto mio, vero? (You’ve changed my life Y/n , I honestly don't know what I would do without you at this point, all I know is that I love you and I want you to be mine, all mine, will you?)
Draco Malfoy-
You were sitting in class when Draco sent over one of his flying bird notes, you were surprised it was for you, and were even more surprised when you saw them contents
Dear Y/n,
I don’t mean to seem so formal, but I honestly have no idea how to do this. Anytime we’re in the same room you’re all I can look at, everyone else disappears. You’re so gorgeous. You practically live in my head at this point, I understand we’re not the closest Y/n, but we can be. All I’m asking for is once chance with you, I promise you won’t regret it. - D.Mꨄ
Lorenzo Berkshire-
You were sitting at the black lake while Enzo was messing around near the water, while he wasn’t paying attention you noticed he had a letter with your name on it in his bag, so you decided to open it
I doubt I’ll ever actually give this to you, I don’t think I’d be able to handle the rejection of the most amazing, beautiful, and talented girl I know. I can’t get you out of my head love, merlin, love. I love you. There I said it. I Lorenzo Berkshire am in love with you. I’m definitely never giving this to you I sound insane. Fuck Y/n, you seriously have no idea what you do to me.
Tom Riddle-
While studying with tom he slipped you a note before getting up and leaving with no added words
I hate the way you make me feel. I hate that I can’t hate you, and I hate that you make me feel things. Be mine Y/n, I could make your life so much better, I’ll give you the entire world all you’d have to do is say please. Be mine and you could have everything you desire and more.
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Im so sorry I have no idea what to write for Blaise right now loves, but hopefully you enjoyed this, I will make a part two of the post I made about Theo a couple days ago don’t worry <33 Alsooo I just want to let yall know that all the italian is google translated so Im sorry if the translations are wrong, but what I put is what they should say :)
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strawberrygyuuuu · 19 days
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𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐘!𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐱 𝐅!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 —> 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒
𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 —> 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 —> 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲!𝐂. 𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐂. 𝐒𝐨𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐂. 𝐁𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐠𝐲𝐮
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 —> 𝐣𝐬 𝐠𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐩𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 & 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞.
𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 —> 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞. ➽───────────────❥ ⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
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This is such chaos
Especially if you match their energy; specifically Beomgyu's
You, gyu and Jun are so loud and chaotic together I just know Soobin sometimes gets a headache
But it's funny cause he's also the one fondly and lovingly staring at y'all even if he complains
"aigo, so noisy.." as if Soobin is actually annoyed 🙄
Just kiss him n he's all smiles and shy
He'd never change it for the world tho; having y'all being loud and laughing together is weirdly not only entertaining
But also a sense of comfort: home.
He'd never wish for it to be different even if it does cause him headaches lol
Boy is just whipped as hell dudes 🤷🏻‍♀️
They are ALWAYS bickering; bg n yj
Yj will full on palm on bg's head and push hard bc why TF does he keep pulling his beanie down, covering yjs eyes?
Then bg wants to complain to one of yous
"soobinnie!!!! Yeonjunie hit me!! Put him in time out!!!>:(" and that cute little pout
Like...what do you want us to do about that?
"babyyyy!!! Junnie-hyung said he wanted to break up with me!!!>:( finish him!!!!" with a cute little pout and you're like ????? No?? wha????
He just told bg to stop tugging on his hair ??? Hello??😭
Yeonjun def remembers everyone's likes, dislikes, especially in food, snacks n drinks
He remembers y'all's favorite meals, drink orders and snacks
He KNOWS what to put on all of your guys plate and never gets it wrong, he js cares enough to know hey! let's not put mushrooms on y/ns and bgs plate !
So hopelessly in love idk dudes
Tom & Jerry: yk & bg
Bg sulks and pouts and gets grumpy when y'all eat without him
This boy just really wants to spend time with his lovers and eating together, having fun and talking or watching sum
Quality time is def Beomgyu's main love language
Gift giving & acts of service for Yeonjun
Quality time & acts of service (physical affection maybe?) for Sooby boobie
The princess treatment in this relationship is real dude
Like....Bro's will tie your shoes for you, buy you n e/o stuff all the time too
"hey, you like these, right, y/n?"
Ex; yj getting bg gummies he always eats without hesitation and then suggested to get every flavor
"I got you three something, go look in your bags, loves."
And it's matching onsies
My melody for bg, pompompurin for yj, pochacco for Soobin and you're prob hello kitty or kuromi
And yj's ears are bright red he's so bashful but is glad you guys liked it
Y'all wear them every night for bed now
Yj is the one spending the most money in this relationship tho, the running joke is he's your guy's little personal sugar daddy lol
It's cause he wants to spoil you guys tho
All of you's do more than enough for him already so there's no need to stress (that's what he says anyways.)
Beomgyu loves testing y'all's patience but dw he'll make it up with smothering wet kisses !!!
He's giggling while you're fuming cause he's so annoying 😭
But it's worth it, loving him, I mean
He prefers to be more private with physical affection so not a lot of pda for yall
Js wants the moments to be between you two four only n for no one else to see or try n judge
Soobinnie loves doing this thing where he sneaks his cold hands underneath your shirt and keep them there while giggling and nuzzling his nose in your neck/shoulder
While you're fighting for your life against his cold hands, mind you 🧍🏻‍♀️
Soobin and yeonjun cook mostly, together usually too
If you get hurt they are soooo concerned and worried but caring and gentle and so loving
Bitches will squeeze and smother the sadness and hurt out of ya
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ravewing · 5 months
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cambrian period dashboard simulator
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redlichiida-realdeactivated0645589142
petition to ban anomalocarises from the local sandbar. theyre so fucking big and it's freaking everyone out and me personally ion want a trilobite muncher looming over me when im trying to have a drink.
🪲 trillybite17 Follow
they dont call them the ABNORMAL shrimp for nothing, they're fucking weird
🎸 punkrock-halluci Follow
No, you know what petition needs to be started? One to get rid of ignorant bigots like you. Have you ever SEEN an Anomalocaris ever eat, let alone ATTACK a trilobite? No, you haven't. Because they DON'T EAT TRILOBITES. Do some fucking research before you say shit like this.
⚜️ splendidmarrella Follow
fyi if you get rid of anomalocarises from public spaces then you will quite literally starve. you know those dead soft-bodied organisms yall scavenge and eat? yeah anomalocaris is the one providing those for you. as a scavenger myself i have been personally impacted by loss of food due to unfair treatment of anomalocarises that have forced them to leave the shallows that i live in and let me tell you eating detritus and nothing else is literally awful. please think twice before you post something prejudiced like this.
🩶 pleurae71 Follow
common hallucigenia + marrella W
ignore the OP, i promise most of us trilobites aren't like them- i don't even know why this is a debate. i guarantee they've never stepped outside of their little rock cave in their life
🌀 xXcorynexospikesXx Follow
LMFAOO they deactivated☠️
32,354 notes
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🫧 cambripuns Follow
What do you call a Hurdiidae without any eyes? A Hurddae!
♟️vampeytoia Follow
actually you'd call it 'uncle maximilien' because my uncle maximilien was hatched with no eyes
💼 stanley-shrimp Follow
Valerie, you and I both know damn well that you do not have an "Uncle Maximilien," let alone one with no eyes. Stop lying on the internet and stop leaving your soft-bodied organism carcasses on my front sandbed. It smells putrid.
♟️ vampeytoia Follow
wow ok mr fun police. just go and piss on my parade like that
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👾 fiveeyedcoolguy Follow
giys i.m tripping bals rn lol. shuld not hv eaten tge 'detritus " browni e from the hallucigna.. i saw thr magic anomllcrais
🪱 pinkpikaiapage Follow
What?? Elaborate
👾 fiveeyedcoolguy Follow
He told me a prophecy
6,211 notes
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🦐 apexshrimpy Follow
she cambrian on my period till i explosion
#anomalo talks #misc tag #is this hash tag funny or no?
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🎸 punkrock-halluci Follow
thinking about dying my spikes again. what color should i get?
🍢 leancho852 Follow
Do magenta to match your skateboard!!
🎸 punkrock-halluci Follow
ohh that's actually really smart thanks🙏
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🪨 shalesifters Follow
🧽 the-odontogriphus767 Follow
yo wtf. none of these fuck the landmasses. we're all in the ocean for a REASON
🦪 biofilmer08 Follow
Hey, actually, a few other molluscs and I browse on the microbial biofilm :)
♟️ vampeytoia Follow
🤓
9,761 notes
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🕸️ arthropodstemz Follow
reblog if u get around by undulating ur lateral lobes
21,006 notes
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📜 g-wiwaxia Follow
Did anyone else happen to see @shalesifters poll on the landmasses (followed by the reblog of the mollusc)? I think that I was simply born in the wrong generation, that I should have been able to experience the joys of being a land-dweller. I may just have grown tired of being in the ocean every day; quite frankly I just want some sort of change or reform (especially considering the incredulous prices of jellyfish nowadays...)
#Rant #I hope you guys get the idea. I expect some (likely a copious amount of, actually) hate for this one, but regardless I thought that I'd share my thoughts here #I'd like to move to Laurentia
1,732 notes
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📸 daily-cambrian-pics Follow
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⚜️ splendidmarrella Follow
omg thats me on the bottom in the middle! @romip51212 @kookykootenia look its us from earlier today
🫑 kookykootenia Follow
Woah whatt this is actually crazy
🍤 romip51212 Follow
yo i look rad in that.. changing my header immediately
8,121 notes
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🦂 radiodont-radiostatic Follow
DNI if you support any of the anti-anomalocaris propaganda that's circling around. Sick and tired of the twisted lies that are being spread on here. I won't stand for the slandering of my brethren.
#static speaks #dni #will not hesitate to block and report any of you bigoted assholes
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🪼 jlyfsgh224256 Follow
q
79,343 notes
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🍌 nectocarisking69420 Follow
I FUCKING LOVE DETRITUS
🍌 nectocarisking69420 Follow
Yo wtf was i on last night
🍢 leancho852 Follow
You were just speaking your truth king!!
755 notes
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🪸 see-you-lagerstatte Follow
thought too long about the big white orb beyond the surface and broke down crying. What to do about this?
#why is it there?????? what is it???? #please im going insane over this
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🐾 catboycanadaspis Follow
born to say "nya!" and meow. forced to consume the coarse particles found on the sediment surface
886 notes
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🌊 tidal-trilobite Follow
hey has anyone else noticed that it's been harder to breathe lately or is it just me? can't afford to go to the doctor for an exam rn
🦀 clackyappendages Follow
I thought that it was just me! I might sound crazy but have there been less archaeocyathids lately??
🐚 sand-muncher-757 Follow
i've had TWO neighbors pass away from hypoxia in the past month, definitely have noticed the breathing issues too. also i havent seen an archaeocyathid in so long either. so weird😬😬
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eyesxxyou · 9 months
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Cybersex (Teaser)
★‧₊˚ 💋⋅ hobie brown x camgirl!reader
rating. m
word count. n/a
synopsis. hobie decides he needs a change in his career. that's where you come in, a camgirl he plans to make a sextape with.
🍓・.❕warnings. mentions of cocaine usage, mentions of making a sex tape, more to (cum)e
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Hobie really fucked up according to his manager. If you asked him, he did nothing wrong. It was perfectly normal for a rockstar to be doing coke in the bathroom of a venue in his opinion but for some reason it had caused a lot of controversy. It’s not like he was addicted or anything, that time being only the second time he’s ever done it but his manager put out a statement that he would be taking a break from his tour in order to attend rehab. Which he did and it sucked. He was in for 2 months, “working on himself” supposedly.
“Why’d ya do it?” His manager asked him as they sat side by side in the back of his car, his driver taking him home from rehab after 2 of the longest months of his life. “I mean– you have all anyone could ever want. So why?”
It was such a stupid question that deserved the half-assed answer Hobie gave. He just shrugged and grunted. Why did he do it? To escape this fad of a life. This was never what he wanted, all of this. This expensive car, a designated driver, a manager. This was never what he fucking wanted. Somehow, in his pursuit for success, he lost everything that made him who he was, lost his initial values. He was nothing but a poser now.
He was done being a poser. He’d get back to his original self somehow, some way.
So the moment they got back to his boat, Hobie fired his manager as well as his chauffeur. “Take the car wit’cha.” It was the best decision he could have made for himself, for his dwindling career. He had to get back to his roots, just him making music on his boat with his guitar and his mates.
He needed something to reignite his career, to appeal to the crowd who once supported him for being a voice against authority and establishment. The coke incident had riled people up, weeded out the posers from the real deal. He needed something more.
That’s where you came in.
“So you need my help to get your career back on track…how exactly? By having sex with me?” You sat across from Hobie inside a bar you two agreed to meet at. You were a pretty girl, gorgeous actually, with make up that told him “I put in effort, just not for this” and a pretty, delicate, white dress, black shawl, platform, leather boots, and a long rosary around your neck, though something told him you weren’t catholic. It could be the extensive history of porn you have online.
You were a camgirl. And he was a fan. Turns out, you were a fan of his too.
Hobie bought you a drink and a couple shots for you to share. You teased a cherry between your faded glossed lips and used your tongue to tie the stem into a knot. He liked you, liked you a lot. You were perfect for the job.
“By leakin’ mw own sex tape.” Hobie corrected you. “‘M jus’ tryna stir the pot. Drum up some interest, y’know?” You of all people would know better than the rest. Your entire career was built on this. You were a master at it. He was right to come to you.
“Bu’, Ion wan ya to think ya haf’ to. The offer’s on the table.”
“I know I don’ have to do anything.” He liked your attitude, the twang of your accent in your pretty voice. He understood why you had so many fans, you were borderline perfect, pretty lips, pretty eyes. He’s watched some of your videos, with partners and alone, you’re so captivating. He was an instant fan. “I just want to make sure I understand before I agree to anything.”
You leaned in with your chin resting upon your hand with your elbow on the splintering wood of the bar counter. “I’ll do it, just ‘cause I think you’re pretty.” You stood up, even while sitting down, his abnormally tall body towered over your. “I’ve got rules though, strict rules, not even a pretty boy like you can pass them.” Your hands were on his thighs as you looked up at him. He could kiss you now if he wanted to, but he waited to hear these rules of yours.
“You have to use a condom.”
“Done, already got one.” Hobie assured you. He always carried one with him just in case.
You chuckled a bit, “Good for you. We also have to do it at a hotel, you pay. I don’t wanna be at your place and I don’t want you at mine.” Hobie also liked how serious you were, how you didn’t play about your business. He appreciated it, found it a little hot too. How in the world was he supposed to keep his hands off of you until then? “FIne by me.”
“FInally, no catching feelings.”
Hobie began to laugh, a snarky grin growing across his full, pierced lips. “Confident, are ya? You don’ haf’ta worry about nothin’ like tha’, luv. I’m just attracted to you.” He reached out and pushed some of your hair back behind your ear. He leaned in close, his breath fanning your lips until he touched his lips with yours and kissed you softly. You didn’t kiss him back.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to get at, Brown but I’m not with it. Text me the details when you get them.” You pulled away from him with a scoff and tapped his cheek softly with your hand before grabbing a shot, tossing it back down your throat before walking off to take your leave.
Full Version
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The Thing She Does to Please- Dave York x f!reader
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Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Dave York Masterlist
Summary: You mouth off to Dave during a meeting. He doesn't like that very much.
Warnings: oral sex male receiving, face fucking, throat fucking, cum swallowing, orgasm denial, hatefucking
Immersability: reader is able-bodied
Rating: E for EXPLICIT MDNI 18+
Word Count: 1.5k
Author's Note: This is my first time writing for our Suburban Murder Daddy and I'm a teensy bit nervous. Be gentle with me because I'm actually a crybaby!
“You’re late.” Dave growls at you when you saunter into the conference room. You smirk at him and walk across the room to take your seat, making sure to hold eye contact the entire time. When he returns his attention to the rest of the group, you roll your eyes behind his back. Kovac, Ari and Resnik give Dave their full attention, like the good little puppies they are. Not you, though. Dave thinks he’s hot shit, and he is, but his superior attitude rubs you the wrong way. Not that you expect much from them anyways, they’re only men after all. 
“She had to thaw out before she could get her car.” Resnik jokes. The other two Stooges laugh along, guffawing like idiots. 
“Enough.” Dave snaps. “We have work to do.” The nickname they had given you when you joined the team had stuck, to your irritation. Alaska. Cold and heartless, they said. They aren’t wrong. A vast and wanting void occupies the space where your heart should be. You’ve yet to find anything to fill it. The only thing that comes close is the satisfaction of a mission complete, a job well done. 
Dave goes over the specifics of the mission once more. The DIA is a good cover for the extra-curriculars Dave had signed you all up for, before you had even joined. You were assigned to this team, against your will and Dave’s. Not that he could put up much of a fight without showing his hand. So he took you out for drinks one night and told you what was what. He gave you two options: Join in or resign. He didn’t make resignation sound like an attractive choice. Besides, you didn’t want to resign. You don’t harbor any moral objections to accepting cash in hand for what you’d spent the majority of your adult life doing with the U.S. flag on your shoulders. Nothing to show for it but a couple of medals and two now healed over bullet wounds marring your flesh. There weren’t any doubts in your mind that your name would have found itself at the top of Dave’s to-do list if you had taken door number two. 
You tune back in as the meeting comes to an end. Dave shuffles his papers together and turns to the whiteboard behind him. He begins erasing the information he had written there. “Get out.” he gruffs, not even bothering to turn around. “Alaska.” he calls after you. You stop walking towards the door but don’t turn back around. “Try to be on time tonight.” The idiot triplets, who also stop in their tracks, begin to snicker. 
You smirk and finally turn to face Dave. He’s stuffing a stack of papers into his briefcase and briefly catches your eyes with his own. “Try not to be an overbearing asshole.” you retort. The rest of the team stops laughing. You can hear them suck in a collective breath. 
“Out.” he says through gritted teeth, cocking his head towards the door. Ari, Resnik and Kovac hurry out the door. Daddy says jump, they ask “Off what bridge?” The last one out swings the door closed behind him. Now it’s just you and Dave. The conference table sits between you. You cross your arms and stare him down, Dave chews the inside of his cheek. He seems to be contemplating the right words to say. He points his chin towards the door once more. “Lock it.” His voice is even. His tone is measured. You do as he instructs, but take your sweet time. To be honest, you hate giving in to his orders. Preferring instead to disobey him any time the opportunity presents itself. But you need this, though you’d never admit that to him. He would hold it over your head for the rest of eternity. He likes having the upper hand, but so do you. 
Once you’ve clicked the lock shut, the rest of the world melts away. Due to the sensitive nature of the information handled inside this building, the rooms don't have glass walls like in other places you've worked. One thing you learn working in defense intelligence is to never trust anybody that isn’t a part of your team. Your team, you trust them with your life. As much as you hate Dave, you know that you can trust him. “Over here.” he says, tapping his finger against the table. You know when to push his buttons and when to hold back. All of this is to your own benefit, of course. 
You cross the room to stand at the head of the conference table. Dave looks you up and down, seemingly trying to decide just what to do with you. He grabs your chin tightly, just enough to make you feel it. He angles your face so that you are looking up at him. A darkness glints in his eyes. “You have a filthy mouth, do you know that?” he nods your head up and down with his hand. Your body trembles under his touch. “Well, I have something to take care of that for you.” Still keeping a firm grip on your chin, he uses his other hand to unbuckle his belt. “On your fucking knees. Now.” he orders through gritted teeth. When you don’t immediately obey, he moves his hand from your chin to your throat. You begin to kneel, but quickly realize that you need to go slowly. Dave hasn’t loosened his grip on your throat. If you go too fast you’ll choke yourself. You’ve miscalculated this time. He’s in charge right now. 
You are throbbing at the thought of him manhandling you, taking what he needs from you. You slowly lower yourself to the rough, cheap office carpet. Dave, still using only one hand, pulls his pants and underwear down. They stop about mid-thigh and his cock is already rock hard. By the way he’s already leaking for you, he probably has been this whole time. You get a little twitch in your pussy thinking about how much he wants you. He hates you just as much as you hate him. But he still wants you. 
He taps the head of his cock against your closed lips. You can’t help but wonder if he ever gets this hard for her as you stick your tongue out. Dave doesn’t waste any time. He shoves his cock into your mouth, the corners sting with the stretch of taking him all at once. You feel your panties dampen when he reaches the back of your throat and lets out a strained moan. The weight of him settles on your tongue. He finally lets go of your throat and his hands grab your cheeks. You attempt to drag in a breath but his thick cock blocks your airway. He holds your face firmly, but gently. He’d never leave a mark where anyone would be able to see it. He pulls out enough for you to take in a breath, as deep as you can. And then he’s right back down your throat. He fucks into your mouth with increasing speed, but not a word. The grunts and groans he tries to stifle grow louder. The walls aren’t soundproof and anyone walking by might be able to hear what's happening in here. 
His thrusts start to falter  and his breath grows ragged. You can feel him twitching in your mouth and the heavy weight of his balls slap against your chin. He pumps in and out with decreasing regularity. You are finally able to get a steady supply of oxygen to your brain. When the fog of lust and oxygen deprivation clears from your brain, you’re able to think clearly enough to hollow your cheeks. He hisses through his teeth as you suck him down, massaging your tongue along the underside of him. After a few more stuttered thrust of his hips, he releases himself in your mouth. You don’t get to taste very much of him since he’s all the way back in your throat. Once you’ve swallowed every drop, he pulls his softening cock out of your mouth and tucks it back into his pants. He zips and buckles himself back up, tucking his shirt into his slacks. He doesn;t look at you or say a word as he does. Not even when you rise from the floor and settle onto the conference table, leaning back on your arms and parting your legs slightly.
Dave finally looks your way when you sigh loudly, too loud to be genuine. “What are you still doing here? Get to work.” he points at the door. 
“What about me?”
“What about you?”
“You’re just gonna leave me hanging?”
“Shouldn’t have run your mouth in front of the team.” he shrugs and resumes gathering his belongings. You hop down from the table and stomp out of the conference room. Vitriol courses through your veins like a poison. Soon, you think, I’ll get him back. 
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somnambulic-thing · 1 month
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Hi Sweetheart
Eddie Munson x gn!reader E 18+ || ao3
1.8k
This is a follow-up to Smoke and Cherry Pop Rocks taking place exactly one year after their first night together.
There is a 400ish word blurb preceding this that isn’t totally necessary to read, but will give a little more context and make this pull on your insides a little more.
CW ||demi!bi!Eddie, Roadie!Eddie, letter format: Eddie pov, angst, intense heartache, regrets, grief, mentions of sex with other people (no cheating), self-exploration, painful introspection, growing pains||
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Hi Sweetheart
Do you know what day it is? Do you remember?
I’m watching the sun’s descent while having a smoke and I remember everything. 
It’s been a year now, one full fucking year, and the memories of you still haunt me I remember every little thing from the moment you walked out of the sinking sun like straight out of my daydreams.
It felt like the ground was shaking beneath me but I think it was just my heart dropping through my ass at the sight of you.
I never told you that I had been thinking about you that very moment, asking myself what the fuck I did wrong to make you say goodbye to me like that. With so much determination.
And I am not just talking graduation day, oooh no, I’m talking all the fucking time. Every time we hung out after I fixed your bike, when you left, you left me with something that felt like a small break-up. Like the end of something that never had a chance to really be something.
And I just couldn’t figure out why. Nothing made sense and the idea of asking scared the shit out of me because you never gave me the feeling of not being good enough and I was afraid to be proven wrong about that.    
So I was lying there on the deck in a nice warm pool of self-pity, rewinding the moment you vanished from my sight for the last time but in my mind, I pressed stop right before you could get away. And through the power of my imagination, you spun around and came back to me but before daydream-Eddie could say anything to daydream-you, real-you appeared out of fucking nowhere.
Felt a little like fate, if I’m totally honest.
And you know what? Instead of rejoicing with delight that I somehow managed to conjure you up out of dry, dusty air, I was terrified. Because I had enough of your goodbyes, all I thought I could take. Because in my mind, there was no scenario that wouldn’t end with me, alone in bed with a rock for a stomach after you left again.
Wondering why you just didn’t fucking want me when I was so sure we had something between us. (and oh wasn’t I right about that?)
Fuck.
And then you ramble and ramble, confusing the shit out of me before you ask me for a kiss?
Fuuuuck.
So yeah, I remember all of it. Remember the look on your face after that first kiss, so sweet and hot and in awe from k i s s i n g ME. I could feel my heart crawl up my throat with the intent of crawling down yours, using that moment to vanish between your pretty parted lips so that you had no way of walking away from me again. I remember feeling so high.
Fuck.
This sunset looks the same as ours, by the way. Just another cosmic cruelty. 
Because now, when I watch a sunset like this, I either get sad or hard. Right now, there’s a bit of both going on. Who am I kidding? Why hold back? It’s not like I’m actually going to send this letter. It’s another one for ‘the box’. I’m so fucking sad right now, sweetheart. Heartbroken, actually.
Because you won’t leave my mind. Your fingertips won’t leave my skin. I try to remember your voice all the time so it won’t fade from my memory the way your smell has left me. Replay the way you say my name when I make you laugh or cry or moan.
I called a girl by your name last month. Was sure she was going to slap me but the pity in her eyes when she put her clothes back on did the trick just as well.
I don’t think I’m particularly made for that one-night stand business. Am more of a ‘books, drugs and rock'n'roll’ guy. My crew says, it’s because I am still sulking about you, because I am idolizing you, turning you into a goddess and maybe they are right, I don’t fucking know, never been so in love before, have I?
But it doesn’t feel like they are right. 
I can’t describe it, really. It’s not like it’s bad or disgusting or whatever (the sex, I mean, in case that wasn’t clear) it just feels. Not right.
Yeah yeah I am so not sending this one, so I might as well…
Felix suggested (I told you about Felix on the phone, remember? We started the roadie adventure at the same time. He's hilarious.) I might swing the other way. He also offered himself to test that theory a few weeks ago and he’s cute and a good guy, so turns out I might swing both ways and it was kinda nice, no it was nice, but it still didn’t feel right.
So Felix suggested to stop thinking about it for a while and clear my head.
As this document and all the others recently tucked away in ‘the box’ can testify, it’s not going too well.
I hate thinking about you with other people and I hate thinking that there’s a possibility that you’re as miserable about this as I am but I also can’t stand the thought that you’re not thinking about me anymore. That you don’t miss me.
Can still hear you cry through the shitty sticky plastic receiver of that gas station pay phone and I hate that the last time I heard your voice it sounded so hollow and so small. Like I was calling you from Saturn and fuck me if it didn’t feel that way too.
And that is the whole gigantic fucking problem, isn’t it? That I’m not ready to come back to earth. That I love being on a new planet every other day with all those strange fucking aliens where I belong more than I ever did in the town I grew up in. I’m not reliable right now and no matter how much you told me it was okay that I called two days late or whatever it was I had to disappoint you with. It wasn’t. Wasn’t okay at all.
I’m glad you admitted as much when I called you to say goodbye.
It’s been seven months, one week and five days since that day. But it feels like forever. Remember I told you one day on the road can feel like three?
So much has happened in that year, so many new loud, bright, wild memories and still… You haven’t faded yet against any of them. I am blessed and cursed with the most vivid visions of you, just have to close my eyes to see you climbing on top of me, naked and sweaty and glorious. I just wish I could feel your palms on my chest pushing me back into the mattress. Your nails leaving little marks and
Fucking stop it, Eddie!!! Gonna end up crying with a boner…
Don’t want you to think it’s just about the fucking. It’s not. It’s just… with the date and all.
Fuck. We could have celebrated one year today.
I am playing with the thought of calling you, to ask you to try this long-distance thing (this constantly shifting distance thing) again. I almost called you before I picked up the pen. Am still thinking about calling you. Maybe after I am done getting all the fucking whining out of my system. I hope that’ll be soon, my hand is already cramping.
But it’s been months. More than half a year. I can’t just fucking call you like that, can I?
Wayne told me your mom told him you’ve been seeing someone.
He didn’t tell me more, despite me begging, despite knowing that I knew he knew more because I know that man and can tell when he’s trying to protect me.
What kind of a fucking asshole does it make me that I want to call you anyway? More, even?
That kind of asshole that found solace in the vision of knocking on your door one day, when I’m done with the circus, setting sun in my back and that stupid smile on my face you find so irresistible for reasons I can not comprehend.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I just want to talk to you, wanna know how you are, what you're up to and
fuck I miss you.
I miss you and you're seeing someone and my chest aches like my heart did crawl down your throat a year ago and now has to watch you fuck a stranger being with someone else and I fucking did this to myself. And to you. To us.
And I want to take it back. I want you back. I want the privilege to call you at weird fucking times to have access to your thoughts again and tell you mine because there is so much left to say and make plans and make you horny and 
I want to know
I thought of taking time off. Pulling a: I was in town and thought we could catch up. But I bet you'd know the truth as soon as the lie leaves my mouth. I’d like to think I could play it cool when seeing you again, you know, but the way I feel right now, it would be a miracle if I could suppress the urge to just launch myself at you.
I want to know if the guy you're seeing treats you right and feed him to a Fell Beast if he doesn't. Piece by agonizing piece.
How long has this been going on? Long enough to push out memories of me? Or were those already faded when you met him? Do you compare him to me sometimes and am I doing good?
You know, there are whole days where I don’t think about you. I had a full month where I was sure I was getting over it, when we transitioned between bands and I had to get used to a different drill, different equipment, new people and all that every-day-roadie-shit.
Some days I want to smack my head to get you out of there. Smack it real hard to make sure that nothing stays behind so that you can’t slowly grow back into the cracks of my mind like weeds until I can’t see where I’m going.
I really only had you for two weeks and I am acting like we were married for two decades.
But what an outlook…
Sweetheart, is there a word for grieving things I never had?
The sun is gone now, by the way. I think I should leave my hiding spot and go back to my crew before they send a search party.
I bet you’d like the guys.
If I still want to call you tomorrow, I will.
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