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#about these feelings even if i Truly Hate It So Goddamn Much
scare-ard--sleigh · 1 year
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my ai closet styling app giving me push notifications (that I asked for) vs what happens to me during late july-mid august (barely ever getting Dressed) 🤧🤧🤧
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unsurebazookacore · 3 months
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hot take, mike and el arent in love, because they are fourteen
well i guess mike is fifteen but still like as someone who has been fourteen/fifteen
GUESS WHO I WAS NOT DATING:
A. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
B. MY FUTURE SIGNIFICANT OTHER
C. ANYONE WHO I WOULD BE ABLE TO SAY "I LOVE YOU" TO AND ACTUALLY FUCKING MEAN IT
D. ALL OF THE ABOVE (the answer is D by the way)
LIKE Y'ALL THEY ARE FOURTEEN
THEY MET WHEN THEY WERE TWELVE
"I knew right then and there in that moment that I loved you" MY ASS
#byler#mike wheeler#like i truly need to stress this so much this is NOT mileven hate like this is putting any like feature or fact about their dynamic aside#they are children#and yes i know there are people who meet their partners when they're young kids childhood friends to lovers is a trope for a reason#but no one NO ONE (or at least statistically very few people cuz i know my ass was not)#is making for real love declarations at Fourteen (or Fifteen humor me)#and “oh rey then how can you ship lumax-” LUMAX HASNT SAID I LOVE YOU YET#LUMAX IS THE MOST ACCURATE DEPICTION OF AN EARLY TEENAGE ROMANCE IN THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED SHOW BECAUSE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE SO AWKWARD#AND ITS ADORABLE#AND THATS IT#THEY HAVENT EVEN KISSED SINCE SEASON 2#YOU WANNA KNOW WHY??#BECAUSE THAT'S REALISTIC#BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS AND KISSING IS GROSS#listen im not saying this with the intention that ohh kids are immature they dont know what true feelings are blah blah blah#kids have feelings no shit#but esPECIALLY when it comes to mileven it seems so goddamned performative#like it FEELS like they both just watched a bunch of romance movies and are now mimicking whatever they've seen the adults in those movies#(who are supposedly in love) do#like watch lucas's talk with max in the back of the like trailer thing where he tells her he wants her to stop pushing him away watch that#and then tell me mike's aMaZinG AnD drAmaTiC LOvE cONfESioN doesnt sound formulaic as fuck#like you wanna know how a teenager makes a love confession#they say smth emotionally vulnerable; want to die after saying the emotionally vulnerable thing; and then tell a shitty joke to salvage it#not “I don't know how to live without you. I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods” no fucking teenager says that#and that is why lumax is as mr mclaughlin said himself: “real love”#damn i kinda cooked with the tags on this one#(also fun fact i learned that tumblr has a tag limit by making this post which is why half of the tags are at the 140 character limit)
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00kittenz · 17 days
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── close to you. ( sjy ) ☕️
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๑ All your boyfriend wants is to feel closer to you, but you’ve been so tired and so busy these days </3
pair: needy bf!jake ㅊ gf!reader | warnings: smut, pwp, (some) angst, fluff, very needy + attention starved jake, exhausted reader, jake just wants to touch you— feel a bit closer to you :(, small argument, make-up s.x, c.ck warming, oral (f. rec), unprotected s.x | words: 1.4k
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“baby ! you’re finally back home, it’s super late..” jake was happy to see you again but soon frowned upon your tired, dull appearance, taking you in his hold straight away. “i made dinner.” his firm hands swam across your back, whilst spreading honeyed kisses along the crown of your head.
“thanks but, i’m way too tired to eat..” he watched as your slouched figure laced against his, all your weight accompanying his.
“but you have to, princess.” “sometimes we have to do things we don’t wanna do.”
“yeah, but—”
“no !, you aren’t gonna starve on my watch, i don’t care how sleepy you are.” jake scolds your stubbornness, his eyes catching yours for a moment, staring straight into him. he hates how tired you looked, but also loved how good you looked when you’re tired.
the look in your eyes giving him a lusty reminiscent, something he’s seen before. it reminded him of how little of time you have to see him these days, you’re always coming home late because of work. it’s even worse that you just come home and go straight to sleep without a single spoken word some days. he feels neglected at times, but he’s just too scared to ever say anything— which only makes him even more anxious; the cycle just continues to spiral…
“jakee..” you childishly whined, you didn’t even wanna move your jaws to talk to him, that’s how drained you were at the moment.
“i’ll feed you, is that fine ? just eat mama.”
he was so gentle and patient with you. and that’s all you needed for nights like these to put you at ease.
you simply nod in response.
๑ ๑ ๑
“would you stop it already !” you heave out a heavy sigh. jake just wouldn’t stop touching and squeezing you. you were beyond tired, but now you’re tired and aggravated.
“what..”
“don’t play dumb, you know what.” your hands grasp onto his forearm, removing his form on your waist. “it’s too hot.”
“but baby,” jake sulked, “what about me..”
“what about you ? what do you mean ?” you furrowed your brows as if they could furrow any further than they were.
“don’t you ever think about how i feel ?” “you leave me alone all day, then you come home and never— you never wanna discuss how our days have went.. y’know? like old times.” he bravely spoke, he didn’t care if you’d get mad at him for speaking his mind, it’s how he truly felt. he missed you, what else could he really do. “don’t you know how that makes me feel? how i feel when you don’t ever wanna talk to me ?”
you could only look at him in shock and disbelief, wondering where this was coming from all of a sudden. “you really expect me to come home holly and jolly after a full 8 hour shift ?” you scoffed, sitting up in your place. “i work all goddamn day, and what do you do? clean ? cook ? i provide everything you fucking need. you should be more than a-okay.”
“is it not enough ? do you want more ? what do you want from me, jake !” you didn’t mean for your voice to raise louder, it just came out that way, his body language visibly shifts once he heard that, going in defensive mode.
“no !” he didn’t know what else to say, he couldn’t say much of anything else, if he really spoke his mind then things would go south, quickly.
“no? are you serious right now?” jake felt his heart sink at your sudden outburst of laughter. what was so funny to you? he felt mocked. played with even. it’s like you don’t even care about this relationship anymore.
“i don’t even want any of that shit, y/n. i never asked you for anything, nothing.” “all i want is you, do you not fucking see that !” “i’m human too, doll. i need attention, love, i want you that’s all. that’s all that fucking matters to me. so.. please.”
your boyfriend was practically begging for you. he shouldn’t have to. he was right, you felt sorry for him, the one thing that kept him going leaves him alone majority of the time. leaving him miserable, repeating the same, monotonous routine all damn day.
“jake.. ‘m sorry, i just. don’t have any energy. for this right now.” “im just, so ... stressed.”
“i understand that, but you have to talk to me baby. you’re constantly keeping to yourself, i’m here to help you yet all you’re doing is pushing me away. i just want you to know that i’m here.. ” his hands glide up your arms, squeezing your shoulders. gently massaging them.
“you know, you’re so tense mama..”
“hm ? i am ?” you groan at the attention your shoulders were receiving, you always loved when he gives you massages.
“let me relieve you. you won’t have to do anything. just let me make you feel good.”
๑ ๑ ๑
“hah.. jake...” sweat glistened across your forehead, your back arched against the ivory bedding you found yourself grabbing ahold of.
jake delicately tore through your folds, like he was savouring every bit of you. like this would be the last time he would have you. his breath skimming over your dripping core, leaving your tummy all fuzzy inside. you missed this. so fucking much. fuck.
“ba..baby..” your fingers played with his hair, “so good, yessyes..” your thighs were constantly forcing themselves closed at the tingly sensation he made between them. his tongue thrusting into your sweet left you absolutely phenomenal.
๑ ๑ ๑
after a while, jake pokes his head from between your legs. the transparent juices adorning his pretty lips— and chin. a giggle escaping your lips as he puckers his lips at you. wearing your residue as a lip gloss.
“nuhuh !” you squirm, not very fond of the idea of basically eating yourself out as jake attempted to place wet kisses onto your lips, instead landing everywhere but them. “ewie !”
“oh shut up, you taste quite swell actually.” he rolled his eyes, finally giving in, licking his lips. “toss over for me, babygirl.” he tapped your hips, getting a pillow ready to place under your build. then after, fondling with the waistband of his pants.
the feel of jake crawling over you, caging you in. made your stomach bubble, tired ? who said you were tired ?? you sure didn’t. (yes you did.)
“mama, top drawer.” he demanded of you, tapping on your ass, as if it was a drum.
“i dun’ wanna..” you look back at him with pleading eyes.
“y’sure ?” jake assured you, unsure of the thought of you not wanting to use a rubber.
“mhm !” you swayed your rear from side to side, as if rushing him to get inside you already. impatient motherfucker.
“you on the pill?”
“no.. but i was thinking of having your baby so—” you teased, giggling as if to make your response sound the least bit innocent.
you were cut off by the fill he added of you, how much of a tight fit he was for you. he hasn’t fucked you in a while so you’d have to get used to this again. jake could say the same, as if he wasn’t being squeezed to death. all he could do was try and catch his breath.
“you good ?” he asked, wanting to know if it was okay for him to move. pacing himself as soon as he got your okay.
“hell yeah..” jake giggled at your response, picking up his speed just a little.
all you could think about was how he had you mewling, your vision going blurry. he was fucking you numb. you needed him more than anything right now. the sound of your squelching, sticky pussy being rammed into relentlessly echoed between the walls.
“fuckfuckfuck !” you bit harshly at your lip, almost enough to draw blood, drooling onto the fathomed sheets.
jake was driving you merely insane, whispering sweet nothings into your ear while ruining your tight dewy pussy. his dick spreads you so well, throbbing and pulsating inside your heat.
“so goddamn good, mama. taking me so well.” he puckered sloppy kisses along your nape, to your shoulders, nibbling at the soft flesh. pumping into you more aggressively. your head gently met the headboard from time to time.
he never wanted this moment to end. you could say the same, as if his dick weren’t devouring you whole.
you ended up calling out “sick” from work the next morning. as tired as you were, you hadn’t got a wink of sleep— but most of the blame could be pinned onto your insatiable boyfriend, jake.
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U⁠^⁠ェ⁠^⁠U
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stevie-petey · 1 month
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moron
I own you.  The words practically drip from your rose coated lips, meant only for Steve, and he knows he’s lost.  “Yeah, whatever.” And it’s agreed. Come this Saturday, you and Steve will be working together. No one else, just the two of you, for eight long, maddening hours. 
Summary: steve really hates his coworker, but you know who he hates even more ? your shitty ex boyfriend (who he just so happens to share jacket preferences with)
Rating: general, violence, lots of swearing
Warnings: allusions to abuse, use of bitch as derogatory language towards women, shitty ex boyfriend, violence, enemies to lovers (more friends), fem!reader, use of y/n
Words: 3.9k
Before you swing in: hey gang !! long time no stevie blurb, so here yall go <3 please, read the warnings for this one. theres a really shitty character in this and he may be triggering, so please be safe.
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Steve doesn’t consider himself a bad guy.
Sure, he had the whole “King Steve” stint back in high school where he was an asshole to everyone, but he chooses to ignore those four years of his life. They were a brief lapse of judgment. 
A very long, brief lapse of judgment. But whatever.
The point is that Steve opens the door for strangers. He greets everyone with a smile and a polite nod of his head. When Robin forgets her lunch at work, Steve always gives her his. He walks his neighbor’s dog, he offers to carry groceries for the elderly. Hell, he even waves at babies. 
By all accounts, Steve would consider himself a goddamn saint. 
Except when it comes to you. 
Steve isn’t holding open any fucking doors for you and if you ever asked him to walk your dog, he’d laugh in your face. The moment you stepped foot in Family Video for your first shift, you made Steve’s life a living hell. He doesn’t know why or how you manage to dig so deep under his skin, but he’s convinced you do it on purpose. 
The movies you stack on the shelf always somehow manage to land on Steve’s head. The jokes you make with Robin are always at his expense. You never clock in on time, extending his shift by one more minute every goddamn time. The way you laugh pierces Steve’s skull, the sound rings in his ears and blinds his senses long enough to feel nauseous. 
Steve likes everyone, he isn’t a hard guy to please, but he truly, deeply, hates you. 
“Y/N wanted me to ask if you’d cover her shift this weekend,” Robin scans a beat up copy of Grease, trying to feign indifference as she brings the topic up. She absolutely doesn’t want to be doing this, she knows that any mention of you to Steve makes his eye twitch, but you called her crying and Robin is far too sympathetic for her own good. 
Predictably, Steve’s eye twitches and he snatches the movie from his coworker. “What, did she fall and hit her head this morning?” He scoffs, he can’t believe you even thought he’d consider the idea. “She knows I’d rather her show up with a broken arm and matching black eye to work before ever covering her shift.”
“Okay, that’s psychotically cruel. You know that, right?” Robin scans another movie and shakes her head. Steve hates you, she gets that, and while she doesn’t understand why, she also doesn’t like how much of an asshole he is about it. You’re her friend, too. Robin really likes you. 
“Good, I meant for it to be.”
“Steve, she’s going through a hard time right now–”
“No, I don’t wanna hear it, alright? I don’t care if her grandma died and left her an orphan,” the sound of the bell above Family Video’s front door rings, but Steve is too lost in his rant to hear it. “There’s no way in hell I’m ever, ever helping that demonic witch of a human being.”
Robin’s eyes widen and she tries to cover the teen’s mouth, hissing his name, but Steve bats her hand away and keeps going. “Y/N is a fucking moron for thinking otherwise, and that’s her problem. I mean, I know she’s your friend, which I still don’t know how she even managed to do that, but–”
“Steve!” Again Robin tries to get her friend to stop talking, but Steve is on a roll now. He’s fired up, tired of biting his tongue for the last six months. 
“She makes me want to physically tear my skin off and shove it down my throat every time she opens her mouth. And I’m being nice right now. I mean, I will gladly say this all to her tiny, annoying face–”
“Oh, you would?”
Immediately Steve’s voice dies and his words fall down upon his shoulders. He doesn’t dare turn around. He’s frozen. He’s convinced himself that if he doesn’t move then he can linger in the remaining few seconds where he hasn’t just said all those horrendous things with you standing right behind him. 
Robin drops her head onto the counter and groans. “You’re an idiot, Harrington.”
“Well, are you going to turn around?” Your breath almost fans Steve’s neck, you’ve walked up to him. He can practically envision the curl in your eyebrows whenever you get angry. An expression Steve has become familiar with. 
He gulps, still refusing to turn around. “You know, I really don’t think I can turn around.” His legs shake. Steve doesn’t think he’s ever fucked up this horribly before, and he’s fucked up a lot in his life. 
“Robin,” you turn your attention to her, the edge in your voice is the only indication of your anger. “Please inform our coworker that it’s inappropriate to use that language in a workplace, and please also inform him that I will no longer be needing him to cover my shift.”
“You… Don’t?” Robin looks between you and Steve. He still hasn’t looked at you yet, his face stares straight as if he’s trying to somehow disintegrate. You, however, face her with a steely look in your eyes, which surprises her. She thought there’d be more heartbreak in them. “I-I mean, are you sure? All things considered…”
“I’m fine.” The way you say it leaves no room for arguments. It’s already been decided, and Robin knows not to try and reason with you. She deflates, and you’re pleased with this. Even though her sympathy is unneeded, you can use it to your advantage. You’re going to make Steve pay. “In fact, I think you should inform our coworker that he’s covering your shift this weekend.”
Robin chokes on her spit, startled, while Steve finally turns to face you. “I’m sorry?”
“Aw, it’s okay, Harrington.” You pat his chest, albeit with more force than probably necessary, which he huffs at. “But I think the apology will work even better after spending some quality time together.”
You’re going to spend the entire eight hour shift making Steve’s life hell on earth. And he knows it.
“But–” 
“Say, Robin. What’s the company policy on harassment of employees?” You tap your finger against your chin with a menacing smile on your face. You’re enjoying this, and Steve hates you even more for that. “Doesn’t it say something about verbal insults?”
Steve sends the girl a pleading glance, begging her not to respond, but she can only shake her head at him. He’s the one who couldn’t keep his goddamn mouth shut. Sighing, Robin nods. “Yeah, it does.”
“I thought it did! Thanks, Buckley.” You wink at her before facing Steve again. He almost flinches at the coldness in your eyes. He’s so, so fucked. “Harrington, I’m sure you simply forgot, and I’m sure I can let bygones be bygones after you cover our dear friend’s shift. Yeah?”
I own you. 
The words practically drip from your rose coated lips, meant only for Steve, and he knows he’s lost. 
“Yeah, whatever.”
And it’s agreed. Come this Saturday, you and Steve will be working together. No one else, just the two of you, for eight long, maddening hours. 
When Steve arrives at work Saturday, you’ve already clocked in. 
He finds you sitting at the cash register, looking over the shipment for tomorrow. Sundays are the restock days, and the lists of orders are a pain in the ass to get through. It can take hours, sometimes even days, to comb through. When you see Steve walk in, you give him an icy smile. “Oh, perfect timing!” 
“We’re supposed to get here at eight.”
“And being early never hurt anyone.” Although you’re never early, you’re always late, and both of you know this. You scratch something off from the list, eyes never leaving Steve, and he can’t help but feel that the rough scratch of the pen is meant to symbolize his face. 
“What do you want?” Steve is too tired to play your games. He recognizes that he was a grade A asshole to you a few days ago, but this is going too far. 
You flick your hair behind your shoulder and straighten your posture. The gesture casts a cloud of a sickly sweet pomegranate scent over to Steve, causing him to sneeze violently. He’s always hated the perfume you wear. Smiling at the desired effect, you finally shove the restock lists towards him. “I need you to start sorting through next week’s orders.”
Steve looks at the lists and nearly cries. There’s at least thirty pages in the stack, doubled sided, with five columns and fifty rows. This is the largest shipment order he’s ever seen since working at Family Video, he can’t even believe it’s real.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
“Nope!” You hop down from the counter and walk over to the cart of returned movies. “Now, I’d get started if I were you. You know how much Keith hates it when we don’t get Sunday’s orders in on time.”
Your figure disappears behind a shelf of movies and Steve pretends to strangle you with his bare hands. You planned this. He doesn’t know how, but you did. If he didn’t have a reason to hate you so much, now he does. 
Hours pass by, you don’t at all speak to Steve as he labors over the shipments. Family Video requires the employees to manually input all the orders into the computer to send to the supply chain. The process alone is impractical and takes longer than it should, but pair that with the shitty computers that Keith refuses to upgrade, it makes Steve contemplate running into the road. The browser crashes three separate times. At one point he loses track of which movie he’d been on and has to restart an entire row at number forty-three.
It’s the worst fucking five hours of Steve’s entire life.
Meanwhile, all you do those five hours is browse through some online catalog on the other computer and help a total of two customers who come in. 
By the time Steve has finally finished inputting everything, words float around his vision and he can feel the beginning stages of a headache forming. The pressure sits right behind his left eye, dull and throbbing. 
All because he couldn’t keep his goddamn mouth shut.
Steve should really learn to listen to Robin. 
“Are you all done?” You materialize next to Steve, startling him and he lets out an embarrassing shriek, which you snicker at. “Wow, Harrington. You’re really tense today.”
He rolls his eyes and steps away from you. “Gee, I wonder why.”
“Yeah, who knows!” Steve glares at you and you smile right back at him. “Anyways, since you finished up so fast, why don’t you sort through the backorders next? It shouldn’t take you that long.”
The backorders. 
Steve wants to fucking scream.
The backorders are all the movies that the store can’t input into the system. They’re orders that get messed up, misplaced, and abandoned in Keith’s disgusting office. The pile of discarded movies has grown so large that it rivals Steve’s height and build. It’s its own entity at this point. A terrifying, breakdown inducing entity. 
You’re a fucking evil genius. 
But if Steve even looks at the backorders, he thinks he might actually murder you. 
“No,” he crosses his arms, trying to look more dignified and intimidating than he really feels. Awkwardly placing his weight on his left foot, he purposely ducks his head down to emphasize how much taller he is than you. “No way in hell am I going through the backorders.”
“I wonder what Keith would say when I tell him all the wonderful things you said about me on Wednesday,” you step forward, angling your head up to get a better look at Steve. You want him to see all the hatred you have for him in your eyes. 
What he said about you hurt. There’s no other way to put it. His words had been venom upon your skin, searing the flesh as it left a nasty scar. The wound has festered ever since, making your already shitty week even worse. 
Steve had called you “fucking moron”. Just like he had. 
“Oh, screw company policy and whatever that asshole Keith says!” Steve doesn’t care anymore if he has a job by the end of today. He’s had enough of your shitty mind games and power plays. He may have been a dick, but he doesn’t deserve any of this, either. The strenuous labor and migraines. “I’m done, alright? You’re being such a–”
“Bitch?” A gruff voice chuckles, interrupting. Steve, surprised to hear another male voice in the store, quickly turns around. 
The guy is tall, taller than Steve. That’s the first thing he notices. Then he notices the cold blue of his eyes and the way your entire body freezes in fear when you see him. Steve moves your body behind his, unconsciously putting you out of harm’s way, protecting you from whoever the hell this guy is in front of him. It’s instinctual, he doesn’t hesitate.
Who the fuck does this guy think he is, calling you a bitch?
“I would never call her that,” Steve squares his shoulders, putting ice into his words as he does so. He wouldn’t. He was going to call you a child. Steve would never call a woman a bitch, his mother raised him better than that and Robin would hit him if he ever did.
The guy laughs again. “You sure about that, buddy?”
“Jack,” Steve almost doesn’t hear you, you’re barely audible. He’s never heard your voice so soft before, so weak and scared; he decides he never, ever wants to be the cause of this voice. “You can’t be here.”
“Says who? I don’t see anybody kickin’ me out.” The guy, Jack, shrugs indifferently. He stuffs his hands into his jacket, it’s made of a nice, suede material that Steve is ashamed to admit he’d wear himself. “I wanted to see you, sweetheart.”
Jack tries to step closer to you, but Steve blocks him. “Funny, I thought she was a bitch?”
“Bitch, sweetheart, easy fuck, fucking moron.” Jack laughs, only this time it’s cruel. “It’s all the same when it comes to Y/N.”
Fucking moron.
Steve had said the same about you. A heavy weight of shame crushes his chest. He should’ve never called you such a cruel name. He knows that, now. 
“Don’t fucking talk about her like that,” Steve sneers, hand now coming around your arm as if terrified Jack will pull you away from him. “What the hell is your problem, man?”
“Why don’t you mind your own business? This is a conversation between me and the sweetheart over here.” Jack tries to reach for you again, but Steve shoves the guy away. He stumbles back, a wicked smile on his face. “Oh, the pretty boy can fight?”
“Steve,” You finally speak again, trying to shove yourself between the two men. The room grows hot and you don’t want anyone getting hurt. Not here, not with Steve. “Just leave it alone, walk away–”
Only Jack grabs your arm and viciously pulls, causing a pained yelp to escape you. A nerve pinches in your shoulder, he sends your body flying forward. His grip is harsh, it will leave bruises tomorrow, and you’re weak against him. Fear chokes you, he always does this.
“Don’t touch her.” Steve’s fist collides with Jack’s face, starbursts of pain explode in his wrist but he doesn’t care. All he sees is red now. Jack hurt you. He caused you to cry out in pain. Steve punches him again, the sound of pain you made rings in his ears, turns his blood cold and his anger boiling hot. 
Jack recovers from the punches quickly and he raises his fist, but you try to get him away from Steve. “Stop!” 
The fist comes down, you brace for impact, helpless against it, but the sound of skin hitting skin is all you’re met with. You open your eyes, Jack’s fist is in Steve’s palm. Stunned, Jack is too slow to pull away before Steve wraps his arm around his and twists it behind his back. The muscles strain, the ligament cries in pain as Jack’s arm is pulled dangerously far back. 
“Fuck!” Jack screams, contorting his body desperately to get out of the death lock he’s in. 
“You’re going to leave,” Steve hisses into his ear, “and you’re going to never, ever come back. If you even look at Y/N again I swear,” he mercilessly pulls even harder on Jack’s arm, the bone threatens to snap, but he doesn’t care. “I will break every bone in your fucking body.”
And with that, Steve finally releases Jack, who crashes pathetically to the ground. The moment he’s freed, he scrambles to his feet and cradles his sprained arm. He’s panting, no longer the confident and arrogant asshole he once was when he walked into Family Video ten minutes prior.
“Fuck you,” Jack spits out at Steve, but he’s already walking backwards towards the door to leave. “That bitch isn’t worth it, anyways.”
The door slams closed. 
Silence fills the void that the violence left behind. 
Steve shakes out his wrist, wringing out the pain from the punches. His knuckles are red, raw, bruising with every passing second. He brings the injured hand closer to inspect it, wincing at the inflamed skin. 
“You’re hurt.”
Your eyes linger on the blood that leaks from his knuckles. The skin has split, but the pain that the nerve endings scream over soothes Steve. He shakes his hand out again as he shakes his head at you. “I’m fine.”
But you don’t believe him.
Carefully, slowly, you bring your uninjured hand over Steve’s injured one. Your touch is gentle, hesitant. The pads of your fingers skim over the bruising that litters Steve’s skin. “I’m sorry.” 
“Hey, no.” Steve pulls his hand away, he doesn’t like what the image of his injury is doing to you. He’s not used to your tenderness, the sympathy you blanket him with. Besides, he isn’t the only one who got hurt. Steve instead brings your hand up, holding your wrist delicately as he sucks in a breath seeing the bruises Jack left. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”
You don’t say anything. 
Steve kisses the damaged skin, he feels you shiver beneath his lips. He isn’t sure why he does it, he just knows that he wishes he could physically remove the burn of the bruises from your memory. 
Minutes pass, the silence is all that is spoken. 
Eventually the two of you get back to work. There’s still two more hours before either of you can leave, even if the thought of staying in the store suffocates you. No other customers come in. It’s just you and Steve, matching bruises to keep you guys company. 
When four in the afternoon comes along, Steve clocks both of you out and locks the store up. He doesn’t let you do a single thing. He insists on having you sit by the window as he finishes the last restock orders and closes the door. His hand softly guides you outside, lingering on your waist as he locks the store’s doors for the night. 
“Alright, well…” Steve clears his throat. He doesn’t know what else to say to you. “Guess I’ll just, you know, leave–”
“Please don’t leave me alone.”
His breath catches. You stare up at him, eyes wide with fear and vulnerability and despair. “I…”
“Please,” you can’t walk home alone. Not tonight. Not after everything that happened today. “I just…”
Without saying anything, Steve’s hand finds yours, and he walks you to his car. He opens the door for you, closes it softly behind you once you get in. He gets into his own seat, turns the radio on and fiddles with the stations until he finds the one he knows you like. Every time you have a shift together, you play the same station and sing along to all your favorite songs.
It used to drive Steve insane.
Now he’s relieved he can do this one thing for you.
The drive is quiet. The only conversation that is made is mumbled directions to your house. It isn’t a far drive, but Steve takes his time anyways. He doesn’t know if you have anyone to go home to, he knows you haven’t stopped shaking quite yet. 
“Turn here,” your voice is hoarse from lack of use.
Steve listens, turns into a neighborhood he’s unfamiliar with. He thinks he’s nearing your home and he isn’t ready to let you go just yet. He knows you have to talk about what happened today. The bruises on his knuckles will fade, but the memory of Jack’s cruel words won’t. 
“So,” He clears his throat. He’s doing the right thing, he knows he is. “Jack. He was…?”
You’re quiet for several moments and Steve is afraid he’s ruined everything, pushed you too far, but eventually you respond. “Ex boyfriend. Broke up a week ago. He didn’t take it well.”
“I hate him.”
Despite the fatigue that weighs upon you and the dread that Jack will come back, you can’t help but laugh at what Steve has said. “Yeah, I guess I do, too.”
Silence falls again. Steve pulls into your driveway, he turns the car off, the headlights die, but neither one of you move. 
“You’re not, you know.”
You finally face Steve, confused as to what he’s referencing. “What?”
“You’re not a ‘fucking moron’. And you’re definitely not a bitch.” He clarifies, eyes meeting yours. You’re almost breathless by how brightly they shine with remorse. You’ve never known a man who felt such an emotion. “Jack is a dick, and so was I.”
“Steve…”
He doesn’t let you pity him. He knows what he did was wrong, the words that fell from his mouth about you will haunt him forever. Steve may not have liked you, but he didn’t have any right to say those things about you. “I really am sorry, Y/N.” 
There’s nothing to forgive.
Steve isn’t Jack. You know that, now. 
“It’s okay. I think I made you go through enough today, anyways.” You nudge his shoulder with yours, risking physical affection just this once. “First the restock orders and then defending my honor? I think we’re even.”
“I was pretty heroic, wasn’t I?” Steve tries to laugh, play along, but it’s bitter on his tongue. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive himself for how much he hurt you. 
Noticing his darkened expression, you poke Steve’s cheek. “Hey, you’re not allowed to brood. I’m the one whose crazy ex showed up at work today.” But it doesn’t work, he doesn’t laugh and you know he blames himself for everything. “Look at me, Steve.”
Night has fallen and the honey brown in Steve’s eyes resembles darkened ash. You place your hand on his, careful not to disturb his bruises. “I forgive you, but if you insist on being such an annoying jerk about it, then you can make it up to me by being my friend.”
“Your friend?” Steve doesn’t pull his hand away from yours, and it’s a start. 
“Yup, think you can handle that?” 
“‘Friends’,” he lets the word roll over his tongue. Tests it out, gets a feel for what it would be like to call you his friend. He thinks he likes the way it feels, the weight that accompanies it is one that settles his chest, soothes his wounds. “I guess I can be okay with that.”
He smiles at you, then, and you smile back.
You’re beautiful when you smile; warm, angelic.  
Steve doesn’t consider himself a bad guy, but by all accounts, he considers you a goddamn saint. 
-
⌑ writing masterlist
⌑ please feel free to like, reblog, and comment. i adore hearing from you guys :)
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starstruckmiraclekitty · 10 months
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Simon’s heart was hammering in his chest, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Was this real? Was he dreaming?
He’d just gotten home, just a bit before he knew you’d be home yourself- when he found something on the table that had his entire world shift on its axis.
In his trembling hands, he held a picture of an ultrasound. He honestly didn’t think much of it at first, until he saw your name printed in bold white letters at the bottom of the photo. The photo which was just taken this morning.
Simon truly didn’t know what to think. So many emotions were swirling around in his head. Confusion, excitement, anxiousness.. he couldn’t firmly grasp any of them. Did he deserve to be a dad? Would he even be a good one?
He’d had such a shit childhood, his own father causing so much of Simon’s turmoil, that he truly never believed he could have a family of his own. Was this something that you truly wanted with him?
“Simon, baby I’m home.” You called, making your way into the house. Your voice brought Simon out of his thoughts, but his eyes remained glued to the photo in his hand.
“Y/N?” Simon asked, his voice came out barely above a whisper. He held the picture out to you, his hands still shaking as his eyes looked up at you.
Your stomach churned when your eyes landed on the ultrasound picture in Simon’s hands. You had planned to tell him, you truly did. You were trying to think of the best way to broach the subject, as having a child was not something that the two of you had ever discussed. “Simon, I can explain.”
“How long have you known?” Simon’s eyes bore into yours as he spoke, and you could see tears beginning to form in them.
“I just found out the other day. It was a routine visit at the doctors, I honestly had no idea. I was planning on telling you Si, I really was. I just… I didn’t know how.” Your bottom lip trembled as you forced the words out, your eyes drifting to your hands, not able to look your boyfriend in the eye. “Please don’t hate me.”
“Hate you?” Simon asked incredulously. He set the picture down gently on the table, before making his way to you. His hands cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look up at him once more. “I could never, ever hate you. Not ever, do you understand me?”
You nodded, as tears began to pour from your eyes. “I’m scared, Simon. This isn’t something we’ve ever talked about. I didn’t know how you’d feel and I… I didn’t want to be a burden.”
“You’re not a burden, and will never be a burden. I chose this life with you, and all that comes with it.” He said, his fingers wiping away the tears that fell down your cheeks. “We are in this together, kid. You and me. That was the deal the second I put that ring on your finger.”
“You want this? You want a kid with me?” You asked, your heart stilling slightly as you waited for his response.
Simon engulfed you in a tight hug, his chest heaving with silent sobs. “You have no fucking idea how much I want this. I never thought I’d ever have a family, but I am so goddamned grateful that you’ve given me one.”
He held you like that for some time, before getting down on both knees in front of you, his face at the same height as your belly.
“I promise you.” He started, his eyes leaving yours to look at your growing tummy. “Both of you. That I will try to be the father I never had. I want to give you the family, the life that you so deserve.”
Your heart melted at his words, hot tears streaming down your face as you cradled his cheek in your hand. “Simon, you already have. You’re going to be the best damn father there is.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night, Simon laid in bed with his head laying softly on your belly. Your quiet deep breaths soothed his racing thoughts, drawing a smile to Simon’s lips.
His mind filled with thoughts of your future- your belly growing with HIS child, the little one learning their first word, chasing them around the house once they learned to walk, all the family trips he’d take you guys on- the ones he never got to go on as a kid….
He knew you’d make the best damned parent, and he swore to the stars above he’d be the dad he’d always wanted as a kid. He’d be a good man, a family man. He’d finally have the family he never knew he wanted.
Yeah…Simon Riley couldn’t fucking wait to be a father.
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renshengs · 4 months
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beyond evil (2021) occupies a very interesting space in the larger expanse of crime shows. like, it is a Cop Show. it is undeniably a Cop Show even if the two main characters, who are both cops for very different reasons, are handled with significantly greater awareness and intention than usual.
it is also, impressively, a show that pierces the real ugly rot of 1) police corruption and its overlap with capitalism 2) atrocious real-life lawmaking 3) the poor handling of femicide in stories. i cannot express how abruptly shocked i was to discover that i did not hate the way this show was carrying itself, despite its crime drama genre, narrative about two homoerotic cops, and its murder mystery premise featuring a plot about a serial killer with solely female victims. here is a story that understands its purpose and is so clear-eyed about it that i did in fact tentatively suspend all my wariness about Cop Shows to watch it—and what i got was a scathing response to every serial killer and true crime documentary out there. a narrative that said: enough. enough. look at the way grief rots people from the inside out. look at the way loss ruins lives. do not forget the sufferings of the innocent.
far too many crime dramas possess an incredibly dehumanizing analytical tone to them that goes, “what if these poor women died in brutal gruesome tragic ways? anyway, look at these men and their heroic journey for justice!” it’s why i can’t fucking stand to watch them for the sake of my blood pressure. while beyond evil is not exempt from using such gruesomeness as a part of its horror aspect, the women in this show, particularly the women who were murdered, occupy such a heavy weight over the narrative that it is impossible to reduce them to what they’re usually reduced to: numbers in files, or cold cases. and because the purpose of beyond evil is to examine the ways grief and loss bring about destruction to people’s lives and communities, these women cannot be seen as numbers. they need to be vivid and real; the audience needs to feel their loss as deeply and gnawingly as the townspeople do. as we would in real life.
personally i’m still surprised at myself for liking a Cop Show this much—because the law enforcement sympathy is unavoidable in a cop show—but then i’m also shocked at how immediately this show establishes its awareness of police power. i don’t mean it gives a passing nod, like a brief disclaimer. i mean that you watch until the end and you’re like: oh! the entire fucking show is about police power and its consequences! this entire goddamn show is about cops’ potential for harm and how it destroys lives! the main character only ever became a cop out of desperation because he realized it would protect him from suffering further at the hands of the police. because he realized it was the only way for him to get access to both the information and the legal power needed to take his own steps to solve his sister’s murder. it’s not radical—it’s a cop show. but it is novel. a cop whose relationship with his own occupation is bitterly resigned at best and traumatic at worst.
this is far from an original thought, but truly i think what makes beyond evil worth watching is that it is so incredibly careful with itself. its meta awareness of its own genre heightens it to a tier above other crime dramas—it knows and rejects voyeuristic perspectives into the lives of people who’ve suffered real loss and tragedy, and so it makes the loss inescapable. every direction you look, someone’s life has been irrevocably altered by the murders you learn about in the story. it gives you no space to push away the murder—no, you need to sit directly in its field of impact. all the fucking time. you are not watching the town suffer, you’re suffering with the town. the story sucks you in and makes you live alongside the rest of them; it's why the first watch hurts so raw. because the story refuses to let you take a true-crime approach. because it refuses to prioritize the narratives of perpetrators over human lives. you are there, and you are hurting.
man. really, if you're going to watch anything, watch this.
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topazadine · 2 months
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Remembering Perspective When Writing Descriptions
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Just a short pet peeve of mine, inspired by a shower thought, where I remembered the most terrifying description I'd ever read.
It wasn't bad, or even horror. It was well written.
However. The POV character described his *sister* in a way akin to this (my recreation, not the actual text):
Braden met his sister at the gate. They'd been apart for several years, and in that time, she had truly become a woman. Her curves had filled out, and her red silk dressed strained across her tight figure. Her long black curly hair shone in the late evening light, while her blue eyes watched him intently.
No, this wasn't a brocon thing. The (male) writer was just horny for his female character and ... kinda forgot that his MC, her brother, would not feel the same way.
Now, of course siblings growing up together are going to notice the other one maturing, but it's not going to be ... that. This is how I describe 17-year-old Uileac looking at his little sister, 13-year-old Cerie, in 9 Years Yearning:
She'd shot up in height this past year - almost as tall as him, to his dismay. Whatever they were feeding her in the meronym was quite good for her metabolism, as she'd put on a bit of healthy weight. Her cheeks were losing their baby roundness, and the autumnal light accentuated the sharp intelligence behind her green eyes.
In this description, you can feel Uileac's paternal attitude toward his little sister. "Oh, she's put on a bit of weight and isn't a total twig anymore! I'm glad they're feeding her well. Her face looks more adult. Fuck, she's almost as tall as me now ... I wish I weren't so goddamn short ...."
This is a much more normal way for siblings to talk about each other, if a bit more "dad mode" than the typical older brother.
Siblings who grew up together are not going to say "holy shit I can really tell my sister has become a woman, wow her dress is tight over her curves." If my brother had said that about me while we were kids, I'd throw up and dump a pot of soup over his head.
This kind of thing is generally accidental and has to do with how *you* feel about a character. But the thing is that even the sexiest femme fatale is just going to be Jennifer, The Stupid Annoying Sister, to their sibling. Our brains are literally wired not to see our siblings as sexy if we grew up with them.
There are many other ways that you must take perspective into consideration when writing descriptions. Here are just a few of them.
Sexual attraction/orientation
You're going to focus on different things if you're sexually attracted to someone; namely, you'll focus in on things like breasts, legs, abs, etc. You'll also likely devote more attention to describing people of your particular sexual orientation than you would one that you are not attracted to, and you will focus on different things.
This is part of why we hate "men writing women:" they describe every woman as if they want to fuck them. (See the first example.) It has to do with the places that their gazes naturally linger on any woman, which is what they consider important and what they focus on.
But the thing that they miss is that just because we are sexually attracted to a specific gender does not mean we would want to bang anyone of that gender. I am a lesbian, but the way I would describe my mom or my therapist is vastly different than how I would describe a woman I am actually attracted to.
Romantic interests should get a more sexualized gaze; not exploitative, just more in-depth, and with more focus on their figure, specific details, etc. Everyone else should get a more basic look at eyes, hair color, height, build, and so on.
Feelings about a particular person
You're going to be more forgiving and complimentary toward someone you care about than someone you hate. Things that would be charming on a friend will be downright annoying on that one asshole at work who always throws projects to you at 5pm on a Friday.
A lover's thick eyebrows might be called "dashing" or "strong," while on an enemy, they'd be "overbearing" and "harsh." Your bestie's lisp is cute, while it seems babyish on your school rival. Your dad's meandering sentences give him a sense of harmless musing, but they make someone else look like an idiot.
If you have a character that is prejudiced toward a given group, they are always going to describe that group more harshly than they would a favored group. If they don't like authority figures, a police officer leaning toward them will seem menacing, when they wouldn't even notice it otherwise.
It can be very fun to give two characters similar traits but describe them differently based on the POV character's perspective of them. Readers might not even realize that it's the exact same physical feature!
Previous experiences at a given place
When describing settings, we're going to give more attention to somewhere we care about, like our home. I imagine you can tell me about every chip in the paint in your bedroom, or that one weird stain in the floorboard that you've tried everything to fix. Many times, this is a good time to add depth to the character's backstory by briefly mentioning previous occurrences there.
Would you notice any of those things about a place you're visiting for the first time? Probably not. You'll give a more global attention to the scene and provide impressions, not specifics.
Depending on how nervous or adventurous you are, you'll look for similarities or differences to things that you're accustomed to. You might compare it to other places you have been, trying to get a frame of reference.
If you're on a vacation and were really looking forward to coming to this specific spot, you will likely hone in on exactly what you came to see, whether that's the scene from a particular hilltop or a cafe, and this will get the most description.
Current Mood
Descriptions change with a character's mood, even if they've been in that place a millions times. People just notice different things depending on their mood; if they're happy, they'll look for things that support that mood, while if they're upset, they're pointing out the negatives.
For example, consider someone walking into a court room when they are on trial versus when they are there as a simple court reporter. The person on trial is probably going to be glancing longingly at the door, picking out the angry faces of observers (or assuming the observers are angry), focusing attention on the security guards, staring at the plaintiff with hate in their eyes.
The court reporter will likely pick out anyone they know in the room before looking at anything else. Then, they'll check out the defendant and plaintiff with idle curiosity. Since they are more familiar with the room, they'll gloss over the boring details that they have already seen a million times, giving them only a cursory once-over to see if anything has changed.
Current Need
Your character's objectives need to taken into consideration as well. As an example, remember the last time that you really needed to pee while you were out. Were you slowly and casually admiring the scenery? No! You were hunting for the bathroom. If literally anything registered for you, it was anything that looked vaguely bathroom-sign-shaped. Everything around that bathroom sign, and on your path toward the bathroom, got more attention and description to you than anything else.
Your character's interests
When describing a scene, you don't need to take time and define every single little thing in a character's path. It's annoying and overwhelming. You need to give us a basic overview (it's a forest, it's a grocery store, it's an abbatoir) and then hone in on the specific details that your character finds interesting in order to fill out the entire scene.
We, as people, focus on things we care about, things that we feel are relevant to us. Different people will notice completely different things when they walk into the same room. An animal trainer will appreciate a big pet bed and an ergonomic food bowl. An artist will admire the artwork on the walls. A computer nerd is going to roll their eyes at the scuffed-up Mac laptop.
This doesn't mean that you can't describe other things, too; it just means that your character's attention is going to be drawn to stuff that they, in particular, like or dislike.
Things like where a character's gaze lands, how they describe things, and how much detail they give to any particular element are an important part of secondary characterization: how we get to know a character beyond what they do or tell us. It helps to create a fuller picture of their relationships, their interests, and their thought process, and it deserves just as much attention as actions and dialogue.
If you enjoyed reading this, perhaps you'll consider purchasing my book, 9 Years Yearning. No weird sibling vibes I prommie
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lovecla · 19 days
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IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME KNOW | jack hughes.
chapter six:
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➴ warnings: none!!
➴ word count: 4.1k
➴ author’s note: thought it’d be great to give u guys jack’s pov please don’t kill me—or jack. also wanna say thank you to each one of you who take the time to read this series and give me your thoughts abt it. i cannot thank you enough. pls be patient with jacky, he’s just a boy :p nice reading yall!!!
sophiamontenegro
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liked by billboard, trevorzegras, charlieputh and 1,972,022 others.
sophiamontenegro ‘rip to my feelings’ is out now 🪄 i want to start this by saying thank you to everyone who helped me make this dream of mine come true.
all of the songs here mean the world to me, and i truly hope they help to heal some of you, like they healed me.
please, don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve good things. you do, all of us do.
thank you grace, thank you john, thank you hannah, thank you to all of you. 🤍
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charlieputh 💙
morgan.grace I love you so much I might turn into a puddle. Soph, you’re one of the strongest, sweetest people I’ve ever met and I’m so grateful to call you my best friend. I watched you put so much effort and energy into this, and i am proud. Happy RTMF day 🪦
billboard I am crying, you’re crying, all of us are crying.
lovssoph i knew this was going to hurt but DAMN Girl what the hell
laurenahser it’s been hours and I’m still crying because of this goddamn music video. And i HATE charlie puth
jesy.iowu @laurenahser NO GIRL BC SAME?? it’s so SAD
sophsecret Harris Dickinson if i fucking catch you on the streets you’re DONE
paula.west off topic but do you guys think any of these songs were written for jack hughes…
chiquitalinda @paula.west honestly no,, soph said this album has been in the making for one year and apparently they just broke up last week?
_quinnhughes Congrats, Soph 👍
sophiamontenegro @_quinnhughes thank u, quinny
ilovehockey @sophiamontenegro @_quinnhughes CHAT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???
“HUGHES, the hell was wrong with you today?” Keefe’s voice sounded harsh and angry.
Even though there were two Hughes in the team, everyone knew who the coach was referring to.
“It’s just not a good day,” Jack mumbled, removing his uniform and not bothering to look up.
The locker room was dead silent, so everyone heard Keefe’s scoff. “Not a good day? More like not a good week,” he stepped closer, hands on his hips. “You’ve been off for the entire week and let me tell you something, son, we’re not making it to the Finals with you playing like you did tonight.”
Jack wanted to talk back so bad but deep down he knew Coach was right. He had been playing like shit, ever since that night at your house.
You. Just thinking about you made Jack feel like straight up shit. Something that never happened before.
He is handsome, he has thousands of fans. People paid to watch him play, people wore his jersey proudly. He could have any girl he wanted but still. Everything changed at that dinner, six months ago, when he saw you performing up close for the second time.
At that moment, he was mesmerized by you. Back then, he thought he was just horny and in the need of a good fuck but looking back now he knows that it wasn’t just that. It was something bigger than himself, yet something he couldn’t name.
“I get it, Coach,” Jack muttered, putting on his suit.
“I hope you do, kid, otherwise, you can just say goodbye to your NHL career and the Stanley Cup.” Coach barked before getting out of the locker room.
Ignoring the stares he was getting, Jack moved on autopilot, like he’d been doing the entire week, shoving his things inside his duffel bag and frowning.
“Cap, wanna go out and grab some drinks? I wanna get wasted!” Someone, Jack didn’t care to know who, shouted, talking to Nico.
“‘Can’t today, man,” Nico answered, duffel bag already on his shoulder. “I’m going to a concert tonight.”
That caught Jack’s attention, pulling him back from his thoughts.
“Concert?” He asked, looking at how everyone went quiet and stared at Nico. “Whose concert?”
“Well, you see…” Nico stuttered and somehow, even if he hadn’t said anything, Jack knew exactly whose concert it was. “Just. A singer?”
“Yeah, no shit is a singer, Hischier, I thought we went to concerts to watch electricians doing their shit,” Jack bited back, the frown just bigger now. “Whose concert, Cap?” He said the word like he was mocking Nico and even though he wanted to take that back, he didn’t. Nico was an amazing person and it wasn’t his fault you didn’t want anything to do with Jack anymore.
“Hum, well—”
“For fuck’s sake, man, just spit it out,” Bastian said, rolling his eyes. “We’re going to Soph’s concert. Launching party, whatever.”
“We?” Jack’s eyes doubled in size. “Who else is going?”
“She invited the entire team,” Mercer answered, and Jack could swear he was one step away from passing out. “And Zegras.”
“Yeah, the entire team minus you!” Zegras shouted, clearly not reading the room. None of the players said anything about your and Jack’s situationship-break-up but Trevor made it clear he was happy with the situation. “Zegras is out in the hunt again, baby, ‘gonna give Soph the real D!”
Jack didn’t even notice he moved until he felt a heavy hand on his chest, looking down and realising it was Nico’s hand and he was now toe to toe with Trevor.
“Watch the shit you say, Zegras. I’m not fucking with you.” Jack spoke slowly, eyes not leaving Zegras’.
“Like you’re going to do anything, Hughes. You lost the prize, now it’s time for her to know what a real man is.”
Jack stepped foward again, only to be stopped by Nico’s hand.
“She’s not a fucking prize and this is not a fucking game, asshole,” Jack said through his teeth, ready to punch Trevor right there and now.
“How old are you two?” Hischier hissed, separating Jack and Trevor like a dad would do. “Trevor, shut the fuck up and don’t talk about Soph like that. And you,” he looked and Zegras before looking at Jack again. “You can’t and you won’t do shit. You and Sophia aren’t a thing anymore and there’s no one to blame but yourself. Suck it up, Hughes.”
Jack wanted to punch all of them in their fucking faces. It wasn’t his fault! He wasn’t the one who published the article and he wasn’t the one who sent that fucking picture of him and Ava leaving that party.
So what if she was his ex? That was in the past. He didn’t even remember her name, for fuck’s sake. She meant nothing to him while you—
“Whatever,” Trevor shrugged, before leaving the room.
“Hischier,” Jack called before Nico left. He turned back and stared at Jack, eyes tired. Jack felt bad for acting like that and giving even more trouble to Nico but Trevor was a fucking assface. “I need to go to that concert.”
“Unless you have an invitation or a ticket, I can’t take you there, man.” He bit his lips. “I’m sorry, but I won’t do that to Soph.”
Jack hated how Nico was clearly choosing sides and he also hated how he said her name and how everyone seemed very comfortable with calling you Soph but he pretended that he didn’t care.
“I’m not going to talk to her, I just…” his lips formed a straight line. He wasn’t sure of what he wanted exactly, but he needed to see you. Ever since your album had been released, he had been playing it nonstop, trying to memorize every breath you took, every line you sang, every beat you produced. He just needed to see you. “I want to see her.”
“Man, you know I can’t do that. Grace will kill me.”
“I’ll deal with her, Hischier, I swear,” in that moment, Jack was glad everyone else had already left, otherwise it’d be humiliating.
Although he noticed, with shock, that he wouldn’t mind begging in front of people if he got the chance to see you.
Nico ran his hands through his hair, muttering something in German before nodding with his head once.
“Fine, but I swear to God that if you upset Grace or Soph or worse, both,” he got closer to Jack’s body, looking like he did when he was on the ice. Terrifying. “I’ll personally make sure you won’t do that ever again.”
Gulping, Jack nodded once, before following Nico.
— ♡
THE line outside the venue was gigantic, making the men inside the van yell and whistle.
Much to Jack’s dismay, all of the Devils who were your fans had been invited to your concert— except him, of course. Which he thought was really, really shitty, by the way— and they were all excited, wearing shirts with your face on it and holding banners with your name.
Jack had to wear an all black outfit, with a cap hiding his hair and sunglasses. He thought he looked ridiculous but unfortunately, Nico was right: you couldn’t see him. He knew that if you did you’d be upset and the last thing he wanted was to ruin your night and concert. So yeah, hiding himself it is.
They left the van, entering the building from the back entrance, not wanting to cause a commotion out there in the front. Jack had been told this was just a small concert but the place looked packed with people.
“Okay, so,” Nico started, wearing his Captain belt once again. “Grace will be here in a second, and she will give us the VIP necklaces so we can go to our sets,” he turned around, facing Jack. “I honestly don’t know what to do with you. Grace will probably kick you out but at least I did my part.”
Jack just nodded, already thinking of millions excuses he could say to Grace so she would say yes.
True to Nico’s words, Grace showed up not even a minute later, wearing a red, tight dress and heavy makeup. She looked beautiful.
“Hi, fellas!” She walked in, smiling brightly. “Nice seeing you all, Soph will be happy with you being here and— what the fuck are doing here?” Her smile was gone, and now the only thing left was a scowl on her face.
Jack smiled awkwardly.
“Grace, listen, he asked me to bring him here because he wanted to see Soph—” Nico started, only to be interrupted by Grace’s harsh words.
“I don’t give a single fuck, Nico, what the hell!” She was starting to leash out on Hischier so Jack knew he had to say something.
“She’s not going to see me, I promise,” he replied.
Grace laughed. “Of course she isn’t going to see you because you’re going to leave!”
“Grace, come on,” Jack muttered, ready to beg to another person just to see you. Fucking shit. “I can sit in the back, there’s like a thousand people outside. She won’t see me.”
“Baby,” everyone looked at Nico as he approached Grace. Jack frowned. Since when were they together? “I told him that if he did anything bad I’d punch the shit out of him myself. He will behave.”
“I’m not a dog—”
“Fine,” Grace sighed, loudly, already looking like she regretted saying yes. “Nico I swear that if Sophia sees him or if someone takes any pictures of him here, I’ll snatch your dick out of your body.”
All of the men there made an ouch sound, faces amused and terrified. Nico only nodded, after giving Jack the scariest look ever.
Grace gave them their badges and asked for another one for Jack. Everyone there was running around and shouting things, probably all worried about everything being perfect, and Jack found himself smiling because you were surrounded by people who cared about you and your work.
Turns out that sitting in the back really meant sitting in the back, because Grace gave Jack a really shitty seat that despite being small as fuck, had a really good view of the stage, even if it’d be impossible for you to spot him.
Jack’s hands were sweaty and his heart was racing in his chest. The place was packed with all different types of people, from children to adults, and some grandparents here and there.
He was proud. He remembered how excited you were for this album, for this little concert, and watching how you’ve managed to ace all of that, made him smile under his hand.
The rest of his teammates were sitting in the VIP section, really close to the stage, and hell if Hughes didn’t envy them. But he knew this was for the best.
Thirty minutes after he sat down, the lights dimmed and only the stage was on. The screams were so fucking loud and if Jack wasn’t already used to people screaming his ears off during games, he’d probably have a fit right there.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Sophia Montenegro.”
Nothing could ever prepared Jack for the sight of you on that stage. It’d been two weeks since you last saw each other and the last time was awful, his heart hurting every time he remembered the sight of you crying and remembering he was the reason why.
But watching as you stood on top of some kind of platform, wearing a black, glittery body suit, with heels and black, see through socks. Your hair was styled in a way that drove him absolutely crazy, and now he wasn’t so sure that coming to this concert was a good idea after all.
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“One year, ten thousand bad moments
But it was dressed up in heated emotion
And I tried to look for the best in the worst
But like, fuck me, that caused a commotion.”
Your voice was perfect, of course it was. Somehow, you knew how to sing live even better than the recorded songs, and your stage presence was out of this world. Jack looked at you as you moved around, singing and dancing and waving at people and interacting with the band, not knowing what to do with the weight on his chest.
He was happy to see you, he really was, happier than he’d felt in this entire week, but fuck if he wasn’t hurt. Watching you from afar was even worse than not watching you at all, because he was reminded again and again that he lost you.
Even if he still thinks it wasn’t exactly his fault.
The crowd was loud, people were dancing here and there and Jack could swear the girl in front of him was crying.
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“Oh, you're so vicious
Love me, then pretend you didn't
Crush my heart and wreck my image
Why you gotta be so, so, so
Oh, you're so vicious”
You were sitting in the middle of the stage, microphone in your right hand, singing with your whole heart. Anyone could see how alive you felt whenever you sang and honestly, it was beautiful to witness.
The song continued, and every second Jack was taken aback by how beautiful you were. So fucking beautiful. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen, inside and out, full of life and happiness and joy.
He only noticed that the song had ended when he heard people cheering louder than they were before, and he started to pay attention again.
There you stood, in the middle of the stage, trying to even your breath. You were smiling so hard, cheek to cheek, eyes shining so bright even Jack in his shitty ass seat could see it.
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“Hi, guys,” you were out of breath but your voice still sounded like honey to Hughes’ ears, and he had missed the sweetness. So. Much. “Oh my god, there’s so many of you in here, what the hell.”
People laughed, and Jack found himself smiling.
“Hi, I’m Sophia,” you said, shyly, like the people there hadn’t paid to see you. “Thank you for being here, guys. It’s been a while since I last saw you guys face to face. Last time was in Coachella, back in April, right?”
People shouted many things, you smiled.
“So a week ago I released my fifth album, rip to my feelings,” more cheering. “I know the title is corny but I couldn’t find better wording. This album, and I’ve said this countless times, means the world to me,”
“Fuck Harris Dickinson!” Someone shouted and everyone started laughing, including you.
“Yeah, yeah,” you agreed. “I hope you like the show. I’ve also heard that we have some special guests tonight…”
Jack’s heart stopped. For some idiotic reason, he thought you’d say his name. Until he reminded himself that you and him were no longer a thing and you didn’t even know he was there.
“Please, please, please, make some noise for my favorite hockey team, the New Jersey Devils!”
The camera focused on the fifteen men sitting on the VIP section, who got out of their seats and started shouting, while showing off their merch, making the other people cheer too.
Jack knew he shouldn’t, but he felt jealous all the same. He should be there, cheering for you and kissing you in front of all of them. Maybe punching Zegras in the face while he was at it too.
“Thank you for coming, guys,” you smiled again, before you started singing the next song.
Jack was mesmerised with you for the next hour and a half. How you danced, how you sang, how you twirled around, how you looked so fucking gorgeous in that tight outfit. How your eyes shined, how your body was perfect, and how he wanted nothing more than you.
The concert went well, like everyone knew it would, you making yourself comfortable, and at home: talking with your fans, taking pictures with them, handing the mic to some of them, who sang awfully in Jack’s humble opinion. Even if the majority of the songs were sad and soul crushing, you made sure people enjoyed themselves.
You were a true sight.
“Now, this is going to be the last song,” some sad oooh’s were heard and you smiled, nodding with your head. “I know, I know, I’m sad too but you all have to go home and these people here,” you pointed at the band behind you. “Also have to go home. But,” you raised your finger, moving your body until you were sitting on the edge of the stage. Some of your fans shouted. “I have one more song for you. This one isn’t in the album because I wrote this recently, but I still want to show it to you guys.”
More cheers, more shouts, more people crying.
“This one’s called Bad for Business and will be available on all streaming platforms by midnight.” Jack watched as you smiled, making him raise and eyebrow. He didn’t know about this one.
“He's good for my heart but he's bad for business
Tears me apart when he grants my wishes
All of my friends think I've gone crazy
But they don't know me like my baby
We look good in photographs
I like the way you like to laugh at dirty jokes
I know they'll always land
Used to get work on time
But now you're taking up my nights
Never been so glad to be so tired
Ooh, I'm mad for you
It's sad but true and I know it
Ahh, you're on my mind
You stole my life and it's showin’…”
Jack couldn’t take his eyes off the stage, eating up every word. He knew this song was about him. It was as clear as day, and maybe he was just being cocky but he didn’t care. It meant that he still had a chance.
He's good (good), it's bad (bad)
The best I've ever had (best I've ever had)
And he's so nice, it's sad (it's sad)
He ruined all my plans
And he just makes me so crazy
I know everyone sees
That he'll be the death of me
He still had a chance. He could still try because it was clear: you were still in love with him. Why else would you sing this? Why else would you write something like this?
He got up, he had seen enough. He left the venue with his head low, trying to walk without being noticed. He knew exactly what he had to do, and even if it sucked, it was the right thing.
—- ♡
“I really hope there is a reason why you’re calling me in the middle of the night, Jack,” Quinn sounded tired but. He always did. “A good one, that is,”
“I need some advice,” Jack looked at his brother through the screen, noticing the eye bags and the tired eyes. Why the hell Quinn always looked like he had been hit by a train was unknown.
Quinn just hummed, signaling for him to continue speaking.
“It’s Soph.”
“Did something happen?”
Jack cringed. Maybe they did need to start paying attention to what happened online. “Yeah, well, someone took a picture of me leaving the Halloween party with that girl named Ava who’s apparently one of my exes and posted it online, making it look like we hooked up or whatever. Then, they talked shit about Soph and Soph kind of broke up with me after saying she was in love with me and basically calling it a mistake.”
Quinn stared at the camera for a good minute, and just when Jack was starting to think he’d fallen back asleep, he moved, caressing his face with his hand.
“The hell is going on in New Jersey.”
“That’s all you have to say?” Jack scoffed. “I didn’t call you for nothing. If I wanted whatever the hell this is I would’ve called Luke.”
“I mean, what did you expect to happen? One day your whore days would catch up on you. Everyone knew this.”
“Why does everyone keep calling me a whore? Is this how women feel?” Jack frowned.
“They call you that because you had a new girl every month. Every time you had a gala you’d take a new girl with you and of course people would talk about that.”
“Okay but I wasn’t dating any of them!” Jack raised his arms, forgetting that he was still holding his phone and dropping it. Picking it up, he continued. “So what if I had a new woman every month? The issue here is Sophia not wanting to be with me anymore!”
“I think that, before wanting to be with her, you have to know if you want a relationship at all,” Quinn said, calmly. “You’ve never had a girlfriend before, a serious one that is. A relationship is a commitment, especially when you’re dating someone as famous as Sophia.”
“I know that she’s famous, I don’t care about that—”
“It’s not about her being famous, jackass, it’s about people forgetting that she is more than that. She is more than the Sophia who sings and dances, she’s a person. That’s literally common sense.”
“I know that too,” Jack mumbled.
“Soph’s been through a lot with that son of a bitch who’s not even worth mentioning. I don’t know much, you probably know about it better than me, but what I know is enough to make me want to punch him with my stick.”
“Yeah,” Jack agreed. “I hate that fucking asshole. He cheated on her, lied, manipulated her and had the audacity to break up with her.”
“So, knowing all of that, how do you think she felt when she saw that picture?” Quinn asked, eyebrow arched. “The guy she’s in love with, holding hands with his ex.”
“I didn’t fuck her!” He raised his voice, tired of everyone saying the same. “I just took her home and went back to my place.”
“Yeah, but does Soph know that?”
Jack frowned. “Of course she does. I’ve told her multiple times that I was only seeing her. And Ava was drunk, I wouldn’t have done anything with her even if I wanted to.”
“Yes because it’s very credible that the guy who used to date a new girl every month now suddenly only dates a single girl. Jack, sometimes I feel like you just don’t think.”
“If I wanted someone to call me dumb—”
“You would’ve called Luke, I know. But right now, that’s what you need to hear,” Quinn sighed. “Look, I know it’s hard for you to understand but put yourself in her shoes. Just think.”
“Everyone keep saying this is my fault but I don’t see how I am the person in the wrong here. I didn’t publish the article, I didn’t fuck Ava—”
Quinn sighed loudly again, interrupting Jack and staring at the screen for a minute, again.
“What?”
“Sometimes I ask myself if we were raised by the same woman,” he shrugged. “Just imagine if Ma knew all of this. She’d probably yell at you.”
“Get to the point, Quinn,” Jack rolled his eyes.
“Look. I’ll try to make it simple,” he started. “Sophia is in love with you. She fell in love with you despite knowing that you have a long history of dating. But, she’s also hurt. And you made it all worse when you said the things I know you probably said.”
“I didn’t say anything that bad…”
“Oh, quit it, Jack. I know you,” Quinn smiled. “You probably made her cry too. That’s the drill. Anyways, you have to ask yourself how do you feel about Soph—”
“I love her.”
They both stayed quiet for at least five minutes. Quinn just staring at the screen like he was reading a newspaper article and Jack staring back at him, looking like he was about to explode.
He hadn’t stopped to think about what he truly felt for you. He knew he liked you, adored even, but he never thought of naming the things he felt whenever he thought about you.
But it was as clear as day. He loved you, he was in love with you.
“Well, then I think my job here is done.” Quinn finally said, breaking the silence.
“What?” Jack almost shouted. “What do you mean? You have to help me get her back!”
“I don’t have time for that and honestly neither do you,” he stated and, well, he was right. They were in the middle of the season, and that was their job. Jack needed to get a grip. “If I were you, though, I’d start by apologising and telling her that you didn’t have sex with Ava or anyone else for that matter.”
“Okay,” Jack breathed. “And then?”
“Figure it out yourself. You’re a big boy.”
Jack groaned, leaning back on the couch. “Fuuuck. This is so fucking shitty. I love her, and she loves me, why can’t we just be together?”
“You will, after you fix this mess.” Quinn yawned and nodded at you. “I’m gonna go back to sleep. You should too. You’ve been playing like shit lately.”
“Fuck you. Bye.”
“Bye.”
He hung up, throwing his phone on the pillow next to him.
How the hell was he going to fix this?
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poeticpascal · 1 year
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Home (Joel Miller x Barbie!Reader)
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Summary: When a deep sense of loneliness overcomes Cowgirl Barbie, she leaves Barbieland to find whatever poor kid it is that's making her feel that way. Of course, she could never have expected just how much light Sarah would bring to her life, and she certainly didn't expect the things her grumpy father would teach her about love.
Word count: 10.6k
Warnings: Barbie movie spoilers, angst, angry Joel (he's insecure and protective), descriptions of loneliness, lots of fluff!
A/n: this is literally my Magnum Opus. Reader is Cowgirl Barbie. I truly hope you love this as much as I do 💖
Barbieland has been very different since Stereotypical Barbie left. Good different.
The Kens have jobs now, proper jobs, not just ‘Beach’ or ‘Surf’. They’re not the most competent workers Barbieland has ever seen; they get too distracted trying on new overalls at the building site or throwing paper aeroplanes at each other in the offices. But they’re trying, and you have to admit, it’s pretty adorable seeing them so excited to head off to work each morning.
Barbieland has laughter now, true laughter, not perfect giggles but the kind that brings tears to your eyes and makes your belly hurt. It has crying, proper full-bodied sobs that rack through your chest, aching in a good way. And it has life. Fervent, overwhelming, painfully brilliant life.
It’s magnificent, even the really hard bits. Which there are a lot of.
Like losing someone you really, really love.
Stereotypical Barbie - Barbara, as she’s known now - had been your best friend. Your Dreamhouse was right next to hers, and every morning you’d float down to the streets together, where she’d hop into her little pink car and you’d mount your pony and ride into town. It was perfect, a sweet little life surrounded by pinkness and joy, and if you’re being completely honest with yourself, you miss it.
You bonded over how displaced you both felt. Neither of you really had a thing, a specific job to do. She was Stereotypical Barbie, and you’re Cowgirl Barbie. Destined to wear dusty denim and cowboy hats for all of eternity; not a doctor, not a physicist, not an astronaut and certainly not the president. Just a cowgirl.
And there aren’t even any cows.
That was what brought you and Stereotypical Barbie together; you both felt slightly unsure of the world, however perfect it may be, and you found friendship in that.
So when she left, that hurt. 
Because she found purpose.
Purpose in feeling, and knowing, and living.
Purpose in things you could only dream about. And what you hate the most is that she was right.
It feels good to hurt. It feels good to have that pain in your chest, that ache in your cheeks when you’re not quite done crying yet. That emptiness that fills the space where flowers had once bloomed.
It feels like shit to miss your friend, and it feels incredible to have loved someone so much that you miss them.
And that’s the beauty she brought to your life. To all the Barbies’ lives.
But it still goddamn hurts.
About as much as the strange thoughts of loneliness have hurt the past few weeks.
You’re never alone in Barbieland; there’s always someone there, a friend, a listening ear. A million other Barbies who genuinely care.
But the feeling is so strong, so heavy in your gut, that all the Barbies and Kens and Allens in the world can’t take it away.
Which only calls for one thing.
“Your friend had the same problem, you know,” Weird Barbie says, walking round you in circles like prey. You gulp; she’s significantly less ‘weird’ now, what with her fancy job at the Capital and the whole ‘awakened Barbies’ thing, but she certainly kept some habits that set you a little bit on edge.
“How do you mean?” You stutter, trying to keep up as she continues to stalk around you and make strange gestures.
“First came the depression-” she pulls down a presentation screen from god-knows where, one decorated with the typical Barbie anatomy and annotated with the same notes Weird Barbie is now recounting. She points to the head, ‘depression’ scribbled beside it, and stops in front of you.
“And then-” she moves again, rotating to the other side of the screen and pointing to the drawing’s legs. “-came the cellulite.”
She pauses, seemingly waiting for some big reaction, but you just stare. Sure, cellulite was feared back then, but almost every Barbie has it now, and it’s really no big deal. “...okay?” you posit, slightly more concerned as Weird Barbie’s face falls at your reply.
“Damn, I guess we really are doing things differently now.” Her surprise is dropped quickly, as she continues to explain what it means to be overcome with these awful feelings so quickly.
“In the end, sweetheart, there’s only one way to fix this.” She leans in uncomfortably close, making you gulp. “You gotta go to the real world.”
You had a feeling she’d say that. 
♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡
When you arrive in the real world, there’s really only one person you can go to. The one person you’ve missed more than anything.
She was your best friend, and yet standing here on the doorstep of an apartment that looks nothing like a Dreamhouse, you can’t help how nervous you feel.
She’d given all the Barbies her new address, in case any of them managed to sneak into the real world, so she mustn’t mind that you’re here. But she’ll be so different now, so human, and you’re still just a Barbie with a jaunty cowgirl outfit and a sunny disposition.
Your worries are immediately washed away when the door flings open, and before you can even see who it is, a pair of arms are tightly wrapped around your neck and you’re pulled in for a big, warm hug. But you know who it is, and you hug her back immediately, tears welling in your eyes as you finally hold your best friend again.
Barbara pulls back, holding your cheeks in her hands, almost like she didn’t think you were really there. “I can’t believe you’re here!” She grins, hugging you again with a giggle. “I missed you so much.”
“Oh, Barbara, I missed you too,” you cry, not wanting to let her go. 
“What are you doing here?” She asks, and you finally relax your arms, taking in how much she’s changed. She isn’t wearing anything pink, or sparkly, but a white blouse and nude pants that look very professional. Very human. Very different.
You don’t reply to her question, unsure of what the answer even is, and that alone makes her worried. So she takes you by the hand and leads you into her apartment, one painted white with sweet pictures on the walls of her with Sasha and Gloria, and some other women you don’t recognise. It makes you a little jealous.
She leads you to the kitchen, sitting you on a bar stool and pouring tea for you both. You go to drink it, holding the cup away from your mouth and tipping it, but she quickly jumps up shouting “no!” and pulling the cup down.
She laughs, making you laugh nervously too, and explains you need to hold the cup to your lips and sip. “Are you sure?” you ask, staring down at the liquid and tentatively trying to drink it, the warmth on your tongue foreign but sweet. 
“Yep! That’s how we drink here. I know it’s weird but once you get used to it, it’s so good.”
You smile, putting down the cup and looking back at your friend. “Things are pretty different here, huh?”
Barbara smiles, nodding her head and swinging her legs where they hang from the stool. “Yep! Isn’t it great?”
“Yeah, it is,” you reply, with a fraction of the excitement. You push a loose strand of hair behind your ear, knocking your hat slightly which you quickly correct into place, acutely aware of yourself in the presence of someone who’s changed so much. “Do… do you ever miss us? The Barbies?”
She grimaces, making you regret asking as soon as the words leave your lips. Her eyebrows sink into concern, and she sets her tea down beside yours, taking your hand and squeezing it tightly.
“Every single day. Of course I miss you - I even miss the Kens!” You both giggle, and you’re reminded of how things were before. 
You have to admit, you almost asked your Ken to come with you, but he was having so much fun in Barbieland now that you couldn’t bring yourself to take him away from it.
“I’m so sorry I made you feel that way.” Her eyes have welled up now, and guilt hits you like a truck.
“No, no, I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m so happy for you, truly.” You smile, and you know she knows you mean it. “I just… I feel so lonely. It’s like a big hole in my chest, all the time. No matter what I do, no matter how many girl’s nights and big blowout parties and days on the beach, I just feel lonely. And it’s even worse without you here.”
Barbara holds your hand tighter, and something you said seems to have caught her attention. “You mean you felt like this even before I left? Before the Kendom?”
You nod, sheepish, and her eyes squint in thought. Then, as if a lightbulb has gone off in her head, she gives you her trademark big white smile and excitedly shouts, “I know what you need to do!”
She jumps off her chair, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking LA. You stand there for a moment, taking in the view, the overwhelming sights and sounds of rushing traffic below you. It’s beautiful and terrifying at the same time.
“You need to find the little girl who’s playing with you,” Barbara whispers, watching your amazement. 
“Isn’t that what you did?” You ask, finally pulling your eyes away to face your friend. She nods, her smile just as bright and honest as ever, and it makes the idea of facing this big wide world seem a little less scary.
“I’ll come with you, we’ll go find her, and we’ll figure out what’s been making her feel so lonely.” 
“Will you really come with me?” 
You already know the answer; of course she will. She’s the kindest person you know. Of course, all the Barbies are the kindest people you know, but that’s a technicality you don’t feel like getting into right now.
“You know it,” she grins, and you can’t help but grin back as you think about what an adventure this is going to be.
“How will I know where to find her?” You ask, looking back through the window at the huge world on the other side of the glass. How could you possibly find your kid?
Barbie tugs you to face her, straightens your hat and looks directly into your eyes, making you focus. “You gotta be really calm, okay? Just close your eyes, clear your mind, and find her memories. And then try to figure out where she is. That’s how I found Sasha!’
You nod, not quite sure how this is going to work, if this is going to work. But you try anyway, squeezing your eyes shut and doing your best to shush all the noise and confusion in your head, desperately searching for anything that could help you find your kid. You get nothing, ready to give up after a few minutes of emptiness, when suddenly - there it is, the faintest hint of a memory.
“Dad, can we have a movie night tonight?” Sarah asks, watching as Joel paces the room, frantically searching for his other shoe.
“Yeah, sweetheart, course,” he replies. She smiles, heading over to the TV stand and already searching for a film to watch, giggling as her Dad begins to lift up the couch cushions. 
She looks down, seeing the shoe hiding just behind the stand, and rolls her eyes as she picks it up and throws it at him. “How’d you find it?” He mutters, scoffing as she just laughs at him, though a matching grin is etching its way onto his lips.
He slides on the other shoe, grabbing his wallet and keys and heading over to give Sarah a kiss on the head. “When will you be home?” She asks, and he offers a guilty smile that doesn’t make her particularly hopeful.
“Soon as I can, Sarah. Around 8? 9 at the latest.” She nods, forcing a smile and letting him go, and Joel’s out the door in a flash with a final shout of “Love you, honey!” and a slam of the door.
The memory changes, then.
It’s nighttime, and Sarah lies alone on the couch, a movie playing that she doesn’t seem to be really watching. Her eyes flicker up to the mantlepiece, where the clock reads 10:13, and she sighs. 
Then she stands, traipsing into the hallway and towards the front door, where the key hangs in the lock. She turns it, unlocking the door and leaving the key on the sidetable, then picking up a piece of mail that had been left there.
“51 Mulberry Road
Travis County
Austin, Texas
Dear Mr. Miller, we are writing to solicit your contracting services for our new development…”
Sarah groans, throwing the letter back on the table and muttering “more work, great.” She retreats upstairs, slamming the door behind her and climbing into bed…
You’re pulled out of the memory by Barbara’s voice, filled with excitement. “Can you see her? Do you know her name? Do you know where she is?”
“Sarah” you mumble, still dazed. “Sarah, her name’s Sarah.”
Barbara squeals, clapping her hands together before calming herself and urging you to continue. “And? Where is she?”
You concentrate, trying to remember what was written on the letter you saw. “Er… Texas. Yeah, she’s in Texas. Mulberry Road. Is that close?”
She pulls a face, a yeah… no kind of face, then grabs a big book from under her coffee table and flips it open. You watch in amazement as she scans the pages and pages of maps inside, until she shouts, “a-ha!”, pointing to a spot on a page titled ‘The United States of America’. “Here it is. We’ll need to fly there.”
A nervous excitement brews in your tummy, your eyes glued to the little spot on the map labelled Texas. The spot where Sarah lives, with her Dad. The place you’re destined to find.
“Oh, and don’t get freaked out… but men fly planes here.” Your head snaps up, confusion painting your face, and Barbara just nods at your reaction.
“Seriously?” You ask, wondering if she was just playing a prank. “Is… is that safe?”
She giggles, putting the book down and grabbing your hand. “Yep, there’s a lot to get used to here. You’ll see. Now come on, we need to pack our bags!”
♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡
And so here you are, on a flight to Texas, on your way to find Sarah and bring an end to her loneliness. 
Barbara tells you all about the real world. How different yet wonderful it is, how much there is to do and see and feel. She’s at university now, getting qualifications to be a psychologist and work with young girls who are struggling. It’s brilliant, but strange, you think - qualifications aren’t needed in Barbieland - anyone can just do anything. Well, the Barbies can. And the Kens really do try.
The journey is filled with new and exciting things, but it’s scattered with memories of Sarah and her dad that pop up in your mind at random. You see everything; their best moments, their worst, the times they’ve laughed and cried and screamed. 
You can see the first time she chose you. She was smaller, much smaller than she is in the more recent memories, and her Dad seemed friendlier, then.
“Alright, honey. Which one d’ya want?” Joel asks, smiling as Sarah’s eyes scan shelf after shelf of Barbies. 
“You should get this one,” he jokes, picking up a doll labelled ‘Builder Barbie’. “She’s just like your daddy!”
Sarah giggles, shaking her head and crossing her arms. “You’re not a builder, daddy! You’re a cont-ac-er.”
Joel’s heart warms, both at how much she loves his job and won’t accept a vague similarity, and her attempted pronunciation of the word ‘contractor’. 
“Well then, which one, babygirl?”
She spends a few more moments looking at each option, before her eyes widen, landing on one a little further away to the left. She stands up on her tippy-toes, grabbing the doll and admiring it, giddy.
“This one, Daddy! I want this one!” She shows him the doll, waving it in his face but not letting him take it, protective already. It’s a Cowgirl Barbie, one clothed in denim and brown leather, with cliche cowboy boots and a hat. 
“She’s just like you, Daddy.”
Joel pulls a face, looking back and forth between Sarah and the doll. “How in the hell is she like me?”
Sarah scowls, pointing to the cowboy hat and explaining, “she’s a cowgirl! And you’re a cowboy!” 
“I ain’t no cowboy” Joel retorts, shaking his head and leading Sarah over to the cashier’s desk. “When have you ever seen me in one of them hats, huh?”
Sarah giggles, itching to take the doll out of the box, and Joel knows she’ll do it the second he’s paid. “Maybe you can borrow hers, daddy, and be a proper cowboy.”
He rolls his eyes, though the smile hasn’t fallen from his face for even a second. He pays, watching with joy as Sarah scrambles to rip open the plastic, finally pulling out the doll and hugging it the whole way home while making up stories of ranches and horses and pistol duels - she was certainly her father’s daughter.
“Barbie? You there?” Barbara pulls you out of your thoughts, staring at you as you finally turn to look at her. 
“Sorry, I’m here. Just…”
“Keep getting memories, huh?” 
You nod, looking out the plane window and into the skies. She still seems concerned, but lets it go, returning to her magazine and letting you be with your thoughts. 
More memories swirl in your mind; you can see Sarah’s first days of middle school and high school, her most vulnerable moments of crying in her room and talking to you like you were the only one who’d listen, her relationship with her dad and how he’s become more and more distant over the years.
Sarah slams her bedroom door behind her, falling on the bed with a sigh. She sits back up, her eyes falling on the Cowgirl sat on the shelf across from her, growing dusty as she plays with it less and less.
She’s 14 now, too old for dolls really. And yet, that Barbie had been there with her through her toughest moments, and even now, it was comforting to have her there.
“Dad’s at work. Again.” She says, half to the doll, half to herself. “It sucks.”
She dives into her backpack, pulling out a small box and opening it up, the newly-polished watch inside glistening in the light from the window. 
She takes it out, delicately, and turns it around to see the engraved lettering on the back. 
‘No matter what, we have each other. I love you, Dad. From Sarah x’
She smiles, quickly placing the watch back in its box, not wanting to damage it before she could even give it to her Dad. “You think he’ll like it?” She asks the doll smiling at her from the shelf.
“I just… I just want him to know I love him. And that I know he doesn’t mean to be gone all the time.” 
She stands, picking the doll up from the shelf and brushing the dust away, carefully readjusting her little hat and smiling at the piece of her childhood. 
“I’ll give it to him tonight. If he ever comes home,” she sighs, lying down beside the Barbie and taking a nap, knowing she had a long wait ahead.
♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡
“Alright, here we are!” Barbara chimes, pulling up to the house you’d been looking for. 51 Mulberry Road. 
“Are you nervous?”
“Hell yeah I’m nervous,” you quip, the fear plainly stated in your wide eyes. What if she doesn’t like you? What if you can’t help her feel less lonely? What if this just doesn’t work?
“Look, I’ve been there,” she replies, knowing exactly how you feel. “You’ve gotta remember that you’re her Barbie. You’re her friend, and she’s yours. It’s all gonna work out. My only advice? Don’t expect her to thank you for making everything amazing for women. Trust me, it does not end well.”
You giggle, remembering the story of when she first met Sasha, and hope Sarah won’t be quite as mean. You feel a little better, and thank Barbara for her support, grateful to have your friend back.
“Alright, I’m gonna go and get a coffee. If you need anything, call me, okay?” She hands you the little flip phone she bought, having shown you how to make texts and calls on it to her iPhone. You nod, thanking her again and stepping out of the car, the nerves building up as you hear her drive away and you’re left alone in front of the house.
You take a deep breath, your boots clicking on the path as you make your way up to the door, supported by a big wooden patio and a bench out front. It reminds you of home a little; your western-themed Dreamhouse, clad with old wooden floors and southern-style windows.
Before you can talk yourself out of it, you raise a hand and knock, waiting with baited breath before you hear footsteps on the other side and the door swings open.
And there she is. Sarah.
She’s a little older than she was in the most recent memories you saw, around 16 now. She’s tall, with a purple cardigan on and pretty blue jeans that you’re jealous of already. Her smile is bright, precious, and if you didn’t know better you’d think she was a Barbie herself.
“Can I help you?” She asks, looking you up and down with a slightly confused, but still polite expression. 
You stall, the introduction you’d prepared completely forgotten, your mouth just opening and closing like a fish out of water. Sarah’s expression becomes one of concern more than anything, and she reaches out a soft hand to touch your arm, making you jump.
“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” she pauses, looking you over again. “Sorry, do I… do I know you?”
You stumble again, trying to find the right words, and she must see how genuinely nervous you are because she searches behind you into the street, then pulls you inside and shuts the door. “Come on, you need something to drink.”
She leads you to the kitchen, a beautifully decorated but old fashioned room with porcelain tiles and wooden beams across the ceiling. You trace your fingers across the counter top, looking around in awe while Sarah pours you a glass of lemonade. 
Your eyes fall to the corner of the room, where her school bag sits, and a familiar-looking cowboy hat pokes out. You walk towards it without thinking and pull out the doll, admiring the little plastic version of yourself.
“Oh, that’s - that’s not what it looks like. I’m not… I don’t play with dolls anymore, obviously, I just…”
Sarah’s voice trails off, and you assume she’s embarrassed, but when you turn to face her you realise it’s not that at all. She’s staring at you, then the doll, then back at you, with a cocktail of confusion and realisation on her face. 
“You’re dressed… you look exactly like her. What -“ She’s cut off by the front door slamming shut, and a familiar voice shouting down the hall, “Sarah? I’m home.”
Her eyes widen, quickly looking for somewhere she to hide you, the stranger she’s invited in, panicking as her Dad’s footsteps get louder.
But it’s too late. Joel stands in the door frame, staring at you, then shooting Sarah a look that says, ‘the fuck is this?’
“Dad, I can explain-“ he cuts her off, staring you in the eye and taking a step towards you. He looks older than he did in your memories - not in the way that Sarah does, but in a tired way, like he’d worked a hundred years and counting. Grey curls wash over his head, matched by a silvery beard and sunken eyes, and for all the Kens you’ve known in your life, you don’t think you’ve met anyone as handsome as him.
“Who the fuck are you?” He asks - no, demands, one arm protectively stretched in Sarah’s direction.
“I- I’m- Barbie. I’m Barbie.” You stutter, clutching the doll a little tighter in your hand. Joel’s face scrunches angrily, and he looks at Sarah again, who just shrugs.
“You’re fuckin’ what?” He asks, clearly unimpressed.
You panic, holding up the doll to your face, showing him the obvious similarities between you. The same clothes, same hairstyle, same eyes. 
“You know, Cowgirl Barbie. Sarah’s Barbie,” you explain, a little more confident now, hoping they’d accept your explanation.
Your hopes are quickly dashed as Joel asks Sarah, “do you know this clown?” 
His arms are clenched, and you try not to worry about what’s coming next.
“No, Dad, but-“
He cuts her off. “So you just invited this crazy person into our home?” 
He’s shouting now, and you recoil, remembering Barbara’s first experience meeting Sasha. You wonder if this is worse.
“Dad, don’t talk about her like that,” Sarah shouts back. It makes you feel at least a little better, but it’s too late. Joel’s incensed, shouting about stranger danger and how you’re probably an escapee from some mental asylum, how weird it is that you know what dolls she owns and how to dress like them. 
“- and you” he looks directly at you now, pointing. “You get the hell out of my home and you don’t speak to my daughter ever again, you hear me?”
Tears stream down your face as you nod, throwing the doll onto the counter and running past Sarah and Joel and out of the house. You can barely make it out the front door, stumbling against the columns on the patio, before making it just far enough onto the grass outside to stumble to your knees and let yourself cry properly.
That same, overwhelming loneliness fills you again, tearing deep into your chest and only adding to your pain. Your shoulders shake, and you try to remind yourself of what they teach you at Barbieland; crying is good, hurting is good. It means you’re alive.
But it really doesn’t feel good right now.
You can hear the faint sound of the door opening and closing, but you don’t really register it, not until you feel a soft hand on your shoulder.
You look behind you, meeting Sarah’s apologetic eyes, and you try to wipe your own of their flood of tears. 
“Oh no, I’m sorry, I must look horrible,” you laugh, though it’s forced.
Sarah smiles, sitting down in front of you, knees crossed. “I think you look beautiful.”
And that makes you really smile.
You giggle, pulling off your cowboy hat and setting it on the grass beside you. Your denim jacket feels a little hot now, too tight, but you try to ignore the feeling and focus on getting your breathing back to normal.
“Is it true? Are you really… her?” 
Sarah’s question is soft, like she doesn’t know quite which answer she wants. You only nod, fiddling with your hands in your lap.
“You’re Barbie?” She asks again, and you can tell she’s expecting a reply this time.
“Cowgirl Barbie,” you answer, still only looking at your hands. 
“God, you know, when Stereotypical Barbie came here, she had such a good time. Mind you, that was in LA, so -“
Sarah cuts you off with a gasp. “Wait, that was real? I heard about that! It was all over Twitter - Barbie and Ken on roller skates in LA, Barbie in a pink cowboy outfit-“
“Yes!” You exclaim, excited - “she told me all about it! She chose the cowboy outfit ‘cos it reminded her of me, you know. We’re best friends.” 
You’re showing off a little now, but you don’t care - it feels good to talk, to be believed.
Sarah watches you in awe. “Wow. So this is, like, real. This is real? You’re Barbie. Where’s Ken?”
“Oh, he had to stay back at home. Well, he didn’t have to, he would’ve come if I asked him to. He’s really sweet. I just… I didn’t wanna be a burden.” You explain, grateful he hadn’t seen you crying like this now you think about it.
“But isn’t he, like, your boyfriend? I’m sure he wouldn't mind.” Sarah replies.
“Oh, he isn’t my boyfriend,” you giggle at the thought. “No, no, we don’t really do that in Barbieland. Everyone’s their own person and makes themselves happy, no need for boyfriends and girlfriends. Even the Kens!”
“Rad,” Sarah grins, liking the sound of Barbieland. “So… why are you here?”
You reply honestly, there’s no use in skirting around it anymore. “Well… I feel what you feel, Sarah. And when you’re sad, and lonely, I feel that too. That’s why I came, to help you feel better.”
“Oh.” It’s all she says.
“Why do you feel like that?” Your tears have stopped by now, your face left red and puffy. You try not to start up again as you watch her face twist at your question.
“Just… stuff. With my dad. He’s never here anymore, always at work. It used to be just me and him against the world, you know? And now it feels like… like it’s just me.”
You pout, rubbing a hand on her knee. “I’m sure he doesn’t mean it, Sarah. You always have each other, just like the watch says.” 
You smile, trying to be as comforting as possible, but it’s quickly wiped away by the look of shock on her face. 
You’re about to ask her what’s the matter when a southern drawl sounds from behind you, “how do you know that?”
You turn, facing Joel who stands on the steps of the porch, a hand on the railing. Your nerves set in again immediately, and you turn in on yourself, trying not to cry.
“Um, the watch, the one from Sarah. That’s what it says, right?” You can see that very watch strapped to Joel’s wrist, the glass broken, and he brings his other hand to touch it. 
“No one else knows what’s written on that watch,” Sarah says, and you whip around to face her, “holy shit, this is really, really real, isn’t it? You’re her?”
You just nod, and she lets out a laugh, springing forward to hug you. You yelp in surprise but hug her back immediately, revelling in the feeling of wet grass hitting your back. Sarah pulls away, looking up at her Dad with pleading eyes, “come on Dad, you know this is real. She’s real. We have to let her stay.”
You sit up again, grabbing your hat and standing, facing Joel though your eyes stay trained on the floor. He’s silent for a long time, thinking, before he grunts and you can just about make out a whisper of “fine” as Sarah celebrates and leads you back into the house.
♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡
You stay there a few days, mostly keeping out of Joel’s way. They set you up in the spare bedroom, but Sarah comes to get you most nights, and you stay up together having sleepovers and telling stories.
You tell her all about Barbieland, about the beautiful beaches and all-woman Supreme Court, the Dreamhouses and the perfectly blue skies. She tells you about her life, the latest drama at school, about Brad the boy who won’t leave her alone and Jenny, her best friend who definitely fancies Brad. It’s incredibly exciting, and you wonder why you never left for the real world sooner.
Barbara’s ecstatic for you, of course; she’s staying in a nearby hotel for as long as you need her there, you even plan to introduce her to Sarah soon.
You wake up one morning, covered in a duvet somewhere in the corner of Sarah’s room, a host of her other old toys laid out where she’d been explaining each one to you last night. You wondered if there’s a Thomas The Tank Engine Land, too.
There are voices downstairs, and for all the rules of politeness and social expectations you’ve learned, you can’t help but tiptoe to the top of the landing and listen in to the conversation. To make sure Sarah’s okay, more than anything.
“Oh come on, Dad. It’s just one day!” Sarah almost shouts, though it’s obvious she’s trying to keep her voice down. They both are.
“Sarah, I gotta go to work. How the hell am I meant to keep a walking-talking Barbie doll entertained for 7 hours, huh? You want me to talk about makeup and glitter?” Joel’s voice is thick and annoyed, though he’s noticeably gentler when he talks to her.
Sarah scoffs, and you can’t see her, but you know she’s rolling her eyes. “She’s more than that, Dad. She’s smart, and she’s caring. Just - just do this for me, okay? And as soon as I’m back from school, I’ll take her off your hands.”
You can’t see them, but you hear their footsteps walk a little closer to the stairwell. “Fine, fine. Whatever. You better go and wake her up then, cos I gotta leave in 20,” Joel resigns.
You see the top of Sarah’s head from your view between the bannisters, and quickly hurry back to her room and under the sheets. She enters, sitting beside your spot on the floor and whispering, “Barbie? Hey Barbie, wake up!”
You feign tiredness, lifting your head and smiling at the girl. “Oh hey, Sarah, good morning.”
She giggles, and you’re quickly aware of your bedhead, something you never experienced in Barbieland. She talks as you grab a brush and fix yourself up.
“So look, I gotta go to school today. But my Dad agreed to take you with him to work so you’re not on your own… is that okay?” 
She must see the slight panic in your eyes,  as she quickly scrambles to reassure you. 
“I know he was a bit of a hot head when you first met him, but he’s just… protective. But he’s sweet, really. Just give him a chance.”
You think about it for a moment. Barbara is still staying nearby, and you know she’d come and hang out with you while you wait for Sarah to come home if you asked. But then again, maybe it’d be good to spend some time with Joel/ It’s obvious that a lot of what brought you here comes down to their relationship, and if you can help to fix that even just a little bit, then your journey will have been worth it.
“Okay,” you answer, giving Sarah a small smile. She grins, standing up and grabbing her school bag before shouting over her shoulder as she leaves the room, “great! He’s going in 20 minutes… better get ready!” 
You gasp, jumping up from your little nest on the floor and searching through the duffel bag Barbara packed for you of outfits to wear, all western-themed of course.
♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡
Car rides with Joel are… awkward, to say the least. 
He drives in silence, no radio, just the slow drone of traffic outside echoing between you, whistling through the open windows.
His car is very different to the ones in Barbieland. It doesn’t have an open top, the seats are worn and rough to the touch. The smell of coffee and cigarettes hangs in the air, and though you’re not used to it, you still find it comforting. Safe.
You reach for the radio, looking for a tune to play and maybe even sing - you’re sure that’ll cheer him up. But he stops you, not hurting you at all but batting your hand away and finally taking his eyes off the road.
“Don’t touch that,” he grunts, and you shrink back in on yourself again. He recoils a little, like he’s trying to appear less aggressive, and refocuses on the road.
“Sorry,” you mutter, shy.
He shakes his head, resting his elbow on the window beside him and readjusting himself, clearly uncomfortable. Whether it’s you or just the way he’s sat, you don’t know.
“‘S fine,” he mutters, barely audible. You nod, unsure of what else to say after that. You’re not looking at him, though you can see his movements in the edge of your peripheral, and you’re certain you can see him glancing at you every couple of minutes.
He finally speaks again after a long span of silence. 
“So…” he starts, tentative. “Is it hard to get here? From- from Barbieland?”
You turn, though he isn’t facing you, eyes trained on the road. You keep looking at him anyway - this is progress at least.
“It’s pretty simple. First you drive, then you cycle, then take a boat, then a rocketship, then you stay in a campervan for a little while, then a snowmobile and voila! You’re rollerskating into LA.” You grin, recounting your adventure into the real world, happy to be able to share it with him. You’re not sure what it is about him, but there’s just something inside of you that’s desperate for him to get you. To care. 
Joel just grunts, rubbing his thumb and forefinger between his brows, and you’re worried for a second that he doesn’t believe you, again. But he doesn’t press, instead he seems to be thinking, and then he asks another question.
“How do you get back?”
“Gotta do all that in reverse,” you answer, giggling. You’re sure you can see the slightest pull of his lips, the hint of a smile, but it’s gone just as quickly as it appeared.
You decide to try and engage him, let him talk. “Do you like what you do? For work?”
He just grunts again, and your shoulders sink, giving up. He doesn’t want to talk to you. 
You decide not to press him further, but you can see him continue to glance at you a few times out of the corner of your eye, and there must be something in the air because he sighs before talking, a vulnerability in his voice.
“I used to. My Dad did it, contracting. Used to take me and my brother out every weekend and show us the trade. And when I started my business, that was good. Things were good. Now…” he trails off with a sigh.
“Things aren’t good?” You ask, trying to be careful. Trying to encourage him. 
He nods. “Things are different, now. Busy. It’s a hard business.”
You don’t reply, not because you don’t want to, but because you’re not sure how. Joel doesn’t seem to mind. After a few moments, he pulls up at a red light, switching gears and finally looking at you properly. 
“What do you do? In Barbieland?”
“Cowgirl,” you reply, being the one to avoid his gaze now.
“Cowgirl?” He repeats, and you only nod, offering a small smile and waiting for his reaction.
“So is that, like, on a ranch?” 
He’s switching gears again, cruising through the now green light and continuing the drive, muttering something about ‘almost there’ as you arrive in an upscale neighbourhood, lined with huge houses and cars that even the Barbies don’t have.
You shrug, self conscious, but you answer him. You owe him that. He did it for you. 
“No, just… you know. I wear the hat, and the denim and the boots. And I just… cowgirl. That’s what I do.”
He nods, and for the first time since you met him, you’re not nervous about what he’ll say next. You feel comfortable with him, safe even, and you’re not sure what it is about this little drive that’s flipped that switch, but you think he might feel the same way.
“Does it pay well?” He asks, a playfulness in his tone that you haven’t seen in him before. It’s like he’s lit up over the course of your conversation.
You grin, meeting his eyes properly now, where he draws away for a moment at a time to check the road but lets his gaze fall back on you straight after. 
“Better than contracting,” you sass. You’re not sure where the cockiness comes from, whether you’re matching his tone or you just feel that comfortable with him, and for a moment you’re worried you’ve offended him with the joke.
But then he laughs.
It’s not hysterics, but it isn’t an amused ‘huff’ either. It’s like a giggle, a bright, giddy laugh that spreads across his face and makes his eyes light up like stars in the sky. It’s beautiful. It’s sweet.
You tell him as much.
“You have a pretty smile.”
He slows a little, his mouth quickly reigning in its smile and his chest no longer bubbling with that sweetness it had before. But he doesn’t look angry, or offended. He looks as though he’s not quite sure what to do. Like no one’s ever told him that before.
“Thank you,” he whispers, the words quickly blowing away with the wind through the open window. You smile in reply, and he watches, neither of you seeming to notice that he’s stopped the car and you’ve reached your destination. Neither of you move.
And then he says the sweetest words you’ve ever heard. 
“So do you.”
It’s gentle, mumbled so lowly you almost think he doesn’t want you to hear it, and yet it hits you in the chest like a lorry. 
You’ve been told that before, of course you have. You’re a Barbie. Whether it’s the other Barbies complementing one another, or the Kens trying to flirt, or Allen just being the nice guy he is, you’ve heard those words before. 
But you’ve never heard them like this, like they’re hard to say, but they need to be said anyway. 
It’s powerful.
You smile again, so does he. You stay in the car a little while longer, in silence again, but it’s a silence laced with comfort and feelings you don’t know how to label. Until he finally breaks the spell, climbing out of the car and helping you out on your side.
He spends the day showing you his work, how to plan builds, how to measure up wood and mark all the right places to cut it. You learn there’s a key named after Allen, and Joel snorts when you tell him how excited you are to let him know that. He even lets you hammer a few nails, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make your heart flutter when he puts his arms around you to guide your movements, his breath in your ear.
And things are good after that day. Really good.
The three of you spend time together, as much as you can, almost like a family. You’ve never experienced family before, true family, but when you’re sat on the sofa with Sarah on a cushion on the floor and Joel to your side, just out of reach, you wonder if this is what it means to be home.
Of course, you quickly understand what Sarah means when she says she’s lonely. You know exactly where that feeling in your chest is coming from, because the times he’s with you are so fleeting, so far and few inbetween, that it feels like gold dust when you have him and like a black hole when you don’t.
And it’s only been a week before you realise just what it means, these feelings, and how they’re not like anything you’ve felt before.
Sarah reads you like a book, cornering you one day as you play dress up in her room. 
“So, you like my Dad?” She asks, a knowing smirk already painted on her lips.
You splutter for a moment, trying to think of a rebuttal, but you give up because you know she has you nailed down. You know she knows.
“Is it that obvious?” You wince, making her grin spread even further. 
“Only, like, all the time,” she laughs, and you flip down on the bed dramatically, making her laugh more. “You know he likes you too, right?”
You sit up again in a flash, eyes wide and searching hers. She raises a brow as you stare, your mind racing - she wouldn’t joke about that, would she? “How do you know?” You ask.
She rolls her eyes, taking a seat beside you on the bed. “Oh come on, man. It’s so obvious. He always talks about you, Barbie said this, Barbie did that’.” She mocks his deep southern drawl, making you giggle. “And he’s always looking at you.”
You blush - you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t noticed. You suppose a part of you just never let yourself believe he could feel the same way.
“What do you think I should do?” You’re nervous now, unsure of yourself. Unsure if this is real.
Sarah smiles, a cheeky sort of grin that doesn’t make you feel particularly at ease, and pats your knee with her hand. “Leave it with me.”
♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡
She calls you down that night, late, not long after Joel came home from work. You switch off the documentary you were watching, something about the animal kingdom, one that amazed you with all the creatures that walk the earth around you. 
You tiptoe down the stairs, calling out Sarah’s name when you can’t find her in the front room, confused. You hear her again, distantly, like she’s outside, and you follow the sound through the kitchen and out the back door, where you’re greeted with the alluring smell of a sizzling barbecue.
“What is this?” You ask, stepping fully outside and taking in the scene. The backyard, usually overgrown and unkept, is littered with fairylights that wrap around the patio columns and line the fence right down to the end. The Miller’s barbecue is fired up, with an array of vegetable skewers and sausages and burgers cooking on top, Sarah proudly stood beside it in her apron while Joel watches, concerned.
Joel. He’s sat at the little table she’s put together, a round glass one with mismatched chairs on either side. He’s dressed up - his hair looks neater than usual, like he’s put extra care into styling it properly. His shirt isn’t plaid, or denim; it’s a light blue colour that matches the brown of his eyes so wonderfully. He looks nervous.
“Hi,” he says, gentle and soft. Your eyes must be wide and confused, because he doesn’t say anything else, just looks at Sarah for support. She rolls her eyes - again - and puts down the tongs she’d been using to flip the burgers. 
“You two are so boring pining over each other. So, I’ve set up a date!” She grins, turning back to the food without a care in the world.
You nod, taking another step forward, looking back toward Joel and not bothering to fight the smile that spreads on your face. 
He doesn’t fight his, either. 
You reach out for the chair opposite him, but before you can, he’s standing up and pulling it out for you, his eyes meeting yours.
Not one of the Kens have ever pulled out a seat for you, you think, thanking Joel and sitting on the little chair. He returns to his own seat, clearing his throat and pouring you a drink; red wine, a new favourite of yours since he introduced you to it. 
Sarah plates up the food, setting it down in front of you in a dramatic waiter-style fashion. 
“You’re certainly my daughter, huh?” Joel asks, pride in his eyes as he looks at the food, which you have to admit looks pretty damn good.
“The student has become the master,” she quips, and your heart melts at the sweet moment between the two. 
“Now, you two enjoy. I’ll be in my room. If you need anything… get it yourself. The kitchen is literally right there.”
You and Joel roll your eyes as Sarah bows out, laughing at her own jokes and giving a final wave as she heads into the house, leaving you both alone.
“So,” you begin, unsure of what to say.
“So.” Joel mimics, though you don’t think he plans to say anything after that. He’s not one to initiate conversation.
But then again, people can change. 
“You look really nice,” he says, his eyes so heavy set on you that it makes you feel flush. You look down, at the old baggy top you’re wearing over grey sweats, and you’re suddenly self conscious compared to his nice shirt and carefully-put hair.
“I don’t,” you reply, embarrassed. “I look like a mess.”
He interjects immediately. “No. You don’t. How could you? I mean you’re literally - you’re -“ he can’t find his words.
You finish the sentence for him. “A Barbie.”
“Yeah.”
You’re not sure why it makes you feel the way that it does. Sad. Like you’re not quite real to him, a novelty. He sighs, and for all the time you’ve spent with him by now, you can’t read what’s going on behind the man’s eyes at all.
You sit in silence for a short while, enjoying Sarah’s food, drinking wine. There’s something hanging in the air, heavy and strange, and neither of you know how to address it.
It surprises you when Joel finally breaks the silence again. “Do you miss home?” He asks, pouring you another glass.
You think for a moment. You answer honestly. “I don’t know.” His eyebrow quirks, motioning for you to continue.
“There was a time when I’d have never even dreamed of leaving Barbieland. When I didn’t want anything to change. But things are different now, since Ster- since Barbara left. Everyone thinks differently, feels differently. It’s a very different place. And suddenly everything that made me love Barbieland doesn’t matter to me anymore. The perfect wardrobe, the perfect house, the perfect life. None of that matters. It’s the things here, in this world, that matter.”
“What things?” Joel asks, and it’s only now that you notice his hand has migrated across the table, holding your much smaller one. You wrap your fingers around his, revelling in the small squeeze he gives you, fighting back a smile.
You’re staring at your interlocked hands when you answer. “Family. Purpose.” 
You look at him. “Love.”
He breathes out, like he’s letting something go, something that made him scared but doesn’t anymore. You squeeze his hand.
The rest of the night goes smoothly. It’s sweet, comfortable. It’s nice. 
Until you put your foot in it.
“Do you still feel lonely?” Joel asks, the buzz of red wine making his drawl even heavier.
You smile, glossy eyes doting on him, hands still intertwined. “Well, I felt lonely because Sarah felt lonely. So… no. I feel good.”
Joel frowns, his head tilts. “Do you know why she felt like that?”
You’re not sure how to approach this with him. It’s something you’ve thought about, pondered for days, turned over and over in your mind with no good resolution.
You know exactly why she felt like that. She told you as much.
My Dad’s never here. He’s always away, working. I don’t see him.
But you also know it’s a truth he won’t accept. Not easily, at least.
“Well,” you begin, treading lightly. “I think she just… misses you, Joel. Misses her Dad.”
He’s confused. He pulls away from you, his grip on your hand loosens. “But I’m here.” It’s an assertion, challenging your suggestion.
“I know, I know. But you’re not… you’re not here. You come home from work late, you’re tired, you go to bed. You wake up and before we can even say ‘good morning’ you’re out the door again, going to work.”
His jaw flickers, in that same way it did when you first met. He’s angry. 
“I do what i have to do to support my family,” he grumbles, fully retracting his hand now. You feel the loss of his touch instantly, in your heart. 
That same loneliness sets in again, but it’s not Sarah’s anymore. No, it belongs solely, wholly, to you.
You try to placate him. “I know, Joel, I know. I get it. I just -”
“Just what?” He interrupts you, and you pause, scared to speak. Scared to mess this up.
“She needs you to talk to her. She needs you to listen to her. She needs you to hold her and let her know she’s not alone. She doesn’t see that right now, Joel.”
He doesn’t reply, just stares into space, arms folded. Guarded.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper.
“‘That how it works in Barbieland? Everyone gets what they want, everyone’s happy?” He asks, agitated.
You shake your head. “No, Joel, I-”
“‘Cos that’s not how the real world works, sweetheart. Everythin’ ain’t perfect. The trees ain’t made of cotton fuckin’ candy.” He sneers, mocking you, and the words pierce through you like knives.
“And I ain’t taking parenting advice from no Barbie doll.” 
That really, really hurts.
And it makes you angry, because for all your faults and weaknesses, being a Barbie certainly isn’t one of them.
“Why are you being so defensive?” You ask, your tone rising to match his. “You know I'm right. All that girl wants is her Dad, not a stranger who’s barely there, not a ghost that puts food on the table but won’t even come home on time for her. She wants her Dad, Joel.”
He stands, slamming his palms on the glass with so much force you fear it’ll shatter. He doesn’t shout, but his words are sharp, pointed, and they land exactly where he intended them to.
“You have no idea what it’s like. You’re stuck in your fantasy world, where everything’s pink, but you haven’t got a clue what it’s like to live in the real world. So why don’t you head back to your special Barbieland and leave the actual living, the hard parts, to the rest of us, huh?”
Tears threaten to spill on your cheeks, your eyes burning from the strain of holding them back. “Joel, you don’t mean that-”
“Yes, I do. Just… just get out of my house.” 
He walks away from the table, crossing his arms and facing away from you, staring out into the night. You nod, to yourself if no one else, breaking your strength as a sob racks through your body. You clasp a shaking hand to your mouth, not wanting him to hear you, but you see the way his shoulders clench. He heard. 
He doesn’t react further, though. Doesn’t turn. Doesn’t make sure you’re okay.
So you do what he said. You leave.
You stalk past Sarah, wiping away the onslaught of tears that have taken hold now, ignoring her as she shouts between you and Joel. “Guys? What’s going on?”
She doesn't follow you upstairs, choosing to give you space and speak to her Dad instead, you think. You text Barbara, asking her to pick you up, and shove your clothes into your bag as quickly as you can in spite of your blurred vision and the messy hair that covers your face. 
You’re not sure how long it’s been, you’d have only thought seconds if you didn’t know Barbara’s hotel was at least 10 minutes away, but you hear her beep the horn from outside and follows its direction.
Sarah’s waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. You look down the hall, where Joel sits at the kitchen counter, arms still folded and head down.
“Please,” Sarah begs, “don’t go.” She’s crying, and it makes your heart hurt more.
“I have to.” 
You try to move past her, but she stops you, blocking the way with her body. “Sarah, I have to,” you repeat, choking on your own sobs.
“Why?” She shouts, hot tears staining her face. “My Dad told me what happened. You’re right. He’s wrong, he’s always wrong. He’s never here, but you are, and now you’re leaving me like everyone else. Like my Mom.”
Your nose scrunches. More tears fall. Your chest hurts. “I’m not your Mom, Sarah. And your Dad… he loves you. He loves you so much. Promise me you’ll remember that, okay? He loves you. I love you.”
She doesn’t stop you when you try to leave again. You all but run out the door, the once comfortable night air now painful as it hits your wet cheeks, ice cold. Barbara looks at you with more concern than you’ve seen her with before, more than when she discovered the Mojo Dojo Casa Houses, but you say nothing as you get in the car. You just stare straight ahead, and she drives.
♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡
“I’m so sorry, Barbie. I never thought it’d end like this.”
Barbara’s holding your hands, reluctant to let go. You don’t know when you’ll see her again. “It’s not your fault,” you reply, and it’s true. It’s not her fault. It’s yours.
“And it isn’t yours, Barbie,” she retorts, like she can read your mind. You just nod, unconvincing, but she doesn’t push it.
You hug her, for the millionth time since she took you home from Joel and Sarah’s house, since she flew back to LA with you. And now here you are, at Venice Beach with your roller skates on, going back to the place you’ve always called home.
So why does it feel like you’re going anywhere but?
“Thank you for everything, Barbara. I mean it.” You pull back, wiping a tear from her cheek and smiling the best you can, your own tears rolling down your face like the skaters behind you.
She smiles back, and though she doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t need to. You know she loves you. You know she’ll miss you.
And with that, you pull away, pushing on each skate until you’re rolling away from the real world and back into your own. Back where you belong, where you’re supposed to be. Where you’re actually wanted.
There are people pointing, laughing at you as you skate past them, but you don’t care. You haven’t cared about anything since last night.
You can see the snowscape ahead, the next part of your journey. Your next step towards Barbieland and a world of pink perfection.
A world that isn’t the same to you now.
You’re nearly there, about to switch skates for the snowmobile, when a familiar, desperate voice comes from behind you.
“Barbie! Barbie, wait!”
You brake, skates screeching on the ground, as you turn to search for him in the crowd.
And there he is, Joel, clinging to a ramp on the left side of the park with the most ridiculous pair of neon green roller skates you’ve ever seen.
“Joel?” You call, immediately rolling over to him when you realise how much he’s struggling. If you weren’t so filled with the joy of seeing him here, you’d laugh at the state he’s in; eyes wide and legs falling beneath him, clearly not used to roller skating. “What are you doing here?”
“I- I wanted to- jesus, if I could just stand up-” You giggle, and he shoots you a look, which just makes you laugh harder. You help him up, laying a gentle hand on his chest as he nearly falls again, your other hand clinging to his waist as he finally finds his balance.
He’s blushing, embarrassed, but there’s something else in his eyes as they finally settle on you and he sighs. “Barbie, I’m so sorry.”
You’re not sure where to look. At him, at your hands, at those ridiculous roller skates he’s wearing. Of course, you can’t pull your eyes from him, anyway.
“It’s - it’s okay. You were right anyway, I’m not-”
“No, no,” he interrupts, placing both hands on your cheeks and quickly stumbling as he loses his balance again without the support of the rail. You hold him, giggling as he almost brings you both down, though you manage to keep him upright and he laughs right there with you.
“Jesus, this is embarrassing,” he finally huffs, and your head falls against his chest. When you raise it again, he’s already looking at you, with those big brown eyes that you never want to forget.
“I wasn’t right. I was an asshole. A huge, insecure asshole.” You try to shake your head, to disagree, but he doesn’t let you. “Just let me say this,” he begs. You let him.
“You were right. I haven’t been there for her. I haven’t been the Dad she needs me to be. I’m just… I’m just scared. Of not being good enough. Of letting her down. So I work, and come home late, and leave early, and I convince myself it’s the right thing to do. But I’m hurting her. And I hurt you.”
There’s pain in his eyes, and it pains you as if they were your own. 
“I haven’t seen Sarah this happy in a long time,” he continues, resting a hand on your cheek again, carefully this time. “Barbie, I haven’t been this happy in a long time.”
You don’t know what to say. You take your hand from his waist, tentative, making sure the other one is stable on his chest. You place it over his where it rests on your cheek, folding your fingers around his own, and turning to press a gentle kiss into his palm. He mumbles something, you don’t hear what, but from the look in his eyes you think you know.
“Don’t go,” he begs. “Don’t - don’t go back there. I want you here. You belong here.”
You look into his eyes. You know he means it. 
And so you do the only thing that makes any sense in this moment. 
You kiss him.
You’re careful to keep him upright, but he seems to have stopped caring about that; instead both hands are on you again, frantic, holding you tight like he never wants to lose you again.
When you finally break the kiss, neither of you pull away from one another, your foreheads connected and breaths intertwined. 
“Okay,” you gasp, pulling on his shirt. “Okay. I’ll stay.”
Joel closes his eyes again, sighing in relief as you finally release your other hand, touching it to his neck and feeling the rapid pulse that beats against it. You’re holding one another so closely, so tightly, that there’s no way he can fall now.
“You’ll come back to Texas?” He asks, like he still doesn’t quite believe you.
You nod again, giggling at the joy that spreads on his face, though it’s quickly muffled when he kisses you again. And again, and again and again until you’re breathless and sweaty and no longer sure which of you needs help staying upright the most.
You help him turn, wrapping your arms around his waist and supporting him as you try to make your way back across the park, and only then do you see Barbara and Sarah stood to the sidelines, watching, smiling.
You realise Sarah has her phone out, pointed at her Dad, and you’re pretty sure Joel sees it too but before he can say anything, he slips again and falls flat on his bum on the floor, bringing you right down with him.
You gasp, cushioned by his chest and his protective arms around you, laughing hysterically as he groans and sits up. You watch as his face turns from pain into anger, his eyes fixated on something ahead, and you think you know what it is-
“Sarah! Delete that video right now!”
♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡
Tag list: @vickie5446 @skysmiller @none-of-this-makes-any-sense @letmehavemyfictionalmen
1K notes · View notes
bakugoushotwife · 1 year
Note
OMG GIRL
i just got a brilliant idea,
ok so roommate gojo finds reader in only a shirt (his shirt btw ;)) and underwear
and then things just get absolutely dirty
i hope you like this idea just as much as i do!!!
thanks so much 🫶🏻
a/n: god i wanna kiss u on the mouth for these sometimes. this has been in the forefront of my mind for days!!! it went a little off the rails babe ngl
cw: pervy gojo, yandere-esque gojo, he's obssessed and delulu. unprotected sex, facefucking, fingering and oral (fem receiving), mating press, breeding, daddy, pet names, mean-ish roommate gojo, size kink, panty stealing, uh lemme know if i missed anything. will go back and edit!
wc: 4.5k
Lucky Day (Satoru Gojo x fem!reader)
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This apartment was so shitty, and your landlord was even worse. Your roommate was at work, so there really was no other option. The pipes on the washer bursted, spraying the outfit you had on and making sure you couldn’t wash anymore. It was a miracle that you managed to turn the water to the washing machine off, you felt like a goddamn plumber from that alone. You even accomplished ordering a new pipe, only problem being it wouldn’t arrive for three more days. 
With a heavy sigh, you peel off your soaked crop top and sling it in your hamper, sliding off your shorts and underwear as well, truly unlucky. The only mercy shining upon you at this point was being home alone as you sprint to your room naked. You can only imagine the endless teasing that you would receive if Satoru was here. 
You grumble about your misfortune under your breath, pilfering through your drawers to find a new outfit to put on. Of course, you would be so unlucky yet again. You look up to the gods with narrowed eyes, as if this was personal. Really, it’s your own fault, damn the procrastination tendency you struggled with. You just had random pairs of socks and a Christmas themed onesie. You were honestly grateful to locate a red lace thong that was venturing closer to the shoelace side of size. You tug the poor excuse for underwear up your thighs, letting them slap against your hips in frustration. You had to put something on, your roommate was a huge tease, the gorgeous motherfucker. It was highly annoying, though you imagine if you were so unnervingly beautiful you may act the same way. In any event, walking around topless was not an option. You can practically hear the sarcastic whip of his voice dripping off his tongue right now. 
“Oh-ho-ho, did I come home or did I walk into a titty bar?” 
“And you swear you don’t want me, sweetheart?” 
“Aw, how did you know I had a bad day?” 
Each line makes you shiver. He was impossible to deal with, but he kept the rent low. As much as you hate to admit it he was nice to look at too, though you were hell bent on keeping that to yourself. He knew it anyway, there was no need to inflate his already massive ego. Why would you tell him? It would just be embarrassing, especially with his naturally outgoing nature. He would rip you apart if you admitted how you may actually feel about your snarky counterpart. You were nothing special to look at anyway, it would be silly to get your hopes up. Maybe he was annoying, but parts of you enjoyed him pestering you all hours of the day and scaring any potential suitors away. 
You would definitely never hear the end of it if you didn’t cover up soon, the clock ticking closer and closer to his typical arrival time. You groan. The only solution was putting on something of his. This route would still produce plenty of jabs, but at least you could potentially explain what had happened. You dart across the hall to his room, yanking open his drawers. You’ve been in his room several times, but it’s always slightly surprising each time. He’s cleaner than you’d think, and the room is decorated very minimally. You rummage through his dresser, finally locating a black tee. You’ve seen this one on him before, and it fits him like a second layer of skin, but you’re around a foot shorter, so it should serve to cover your chest comfortably. You tug it over your head, humming in satisfaction. It falls just above your knees, more dress than shirt. You sigh once more at the outfit pairing, but you return to your room all the same. You decide to curl up with a book until your nuisance comes home, after texting to see if Shoko would let you come over to wash some clothes. 
“Honeyyyy I’m homeeeee.” Satoru sings, keys jingling as he comes through the door of the humble abode. He scrunches his nose, smelling the metallic tinge to the air, so he goes to check out the laundry room. It’s a mess of towels attempting to soak up the flood of water, every piece of fabric in the vicinity was soaked. He clicks his tongue. Luckily the water had been turned off, but Gojo wondered to himself if a maintenance man came in to rescue you, knowing you can hardly turn on the gas stove yourself. He can’t help but be a little jealous, no—overprotective. You were such a delicious little thing, and he can’t stand to see you get ogled by men less than deserving. You won’t give him the time of day, though he’s most certainly the only man deserving of ogling you. He hums at the scene, deciding he should go and ask what happened, that way he could figure out if that pervy handyman needed his eyes gouged out. 
He marches to your room and pushes the door open. “So–the pipe on the wa—” 
He froze. He’s greeted with the sight of you stretched out on top of your comforter, one long leg folded delicately over the other, until his t-shirt covered the rest of you from the knee up. It dwarfed you, made him painfully aware how much smaller you were. So tiny compared to someone so tall and strong as him. Yet you swear he’s the tease. He bites his lip, shamelessly pulling his dark lenses down his nose, crystal clear eyes peeking over the frames to memorize everything about you. You sat with your back straight against the headboard, small hands clutching a thick book.
 “Am I dreaming, or are you laying there in my shirt and nothing else?” He grinned, propping an arm up on the doorway. He doesn’t miss the way you squirm under his lazer focus. 
You feel your body heat up. You even had prep time, yet you still didn’t know exactly what to say. You swallow thickly. “I have panties on. I had nothing to put on! The pipe burst on the washer and soaked me–”
“Oh I’ll get you soaked babe–”
“Satoru!” You yelp, slamming your book closed with a loud clap. He just snorts at your embarrassment, half-lidded eyes still scanning over you to make his desire known. You can’t count the amount of times that your roomie has openly flirted with you, but it shocked you each time. 
“Y/N!” He mocked, rolling his eyes. He pushes himself off the frame and gets to the edge of your bed within a few strides. He plops down uninvited, staring at you almost as if he’s challenging you. He rests his hand on your calf, and you just stare at the point of contact with a raised brow. The man is awfully comfortable putting his hands on you, though that’s because you’ve been his since the day you moved in, in his mind. All this banter is just him being sweet and romantic. He sighs. “Let’s get real, hm? You look irresistible in my clothes, my mouth is watering over here, princess. I want ya. So stop acting like you don’t want me.” 
You watch as his tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip, his foot anxiously tapping on the ground. He’s holding back demons here, and he doesn't know how much longer he can keep himself together. It felt like the room got twenty degrees warmer, electricity brewing like you were sitting in the center of a thunderstorm. You suck in a breath of surprise, the angel and devil on your shoulder going back and forth. He was impossibly annoying, clingy and obsessive. He was like a guard dog, but if it was a guard giraffe instead with his lanky limbs and otherwise goofy nature. On the other hand, he was impossibly sexy, and you would be a dirty liar if you continued to pretend you didn’t want him to rearrange your guts in his t-shirt. 
But what’s the harm in being a tease?
“What if I don’t?” You smirk, to which he mirrors your expression. If you want to play, he can do that too. He’ll make you regret it though. That flash of adoration in your eyes told him everything he needed to know. 
“Give me a chance anyway. You’ll never fuck anyone else after this, I promise.” He says, not waiting for another catty reply from your pouty lips. He’s lunging forward, large hands grabbing your face to keep you from escaping him. Another second passes and his lips smash on yours. He’s needy, messy, and not holding himself back in this clash of teeth and lips and tongue. You were shocked by his passion, not realizing just how serious Satoru was in his pursuit of you. He kisses you like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted, swallowing up any chance you have at getting oxygen with his saliva coated lips. You fist the cover beneath you, clutching the cotton for dear life. 
He’s consuming your senses and you wouldn’t have it any other way; you feel stupid for denying yourself of this for nearly two years now. His touch is fiery, you can feel his fingerprints burn into your skin and the only cure is more of those large palms gliding over your shoulders and chest. You relax into him, moving your mouth fluidly against his smiling one; his taste is of some sort of candy..starbursts maybe, but just the pink ones. His tongue gives you that flavor as it melds with yours, dominating it easily. He’s breathing heavy and grunting, the sound almost sweeter than the candy on his breath. They’re high pitched and whiny, he’s been picturing this scenario for a while now. You find yourself laying back, tugging him by the shirt to hover over you. The fabric wafted his vanilla sandalwood fragrance, of course he would smell and taste so delicious. It’s so befitting of such a deviantly perfect man. He doesn't hesitate to cover your frame with his, boxing your hips in under his as he straddles them. He breaks the make-out session to sit back on his knees to peel off his shirt–a white one not unlike the black one you stole. He throws it over his shoulder and you both hear it faintly fall in the distance. Then you both sigh, you squirm beneath him, hips shamelessly rolling into his semi. The corners of his lips curled into a smile. 
You looked truly angelic, as always. Your lips were plump and swollen from the way he smothered them, your tits perked up and nipples poking through the fabric of his tee. Your hair was just starting to get messy, and he had half a mind to fuck that bratty mouth of yours, holding out on him this long just to look up at him with those needy doe eyes. Now he’s really smirking, and it goes from an idea, to something he just has to see. He gets off of you, sliding out of his shoes, peeling off those annoying socks and his tight black jeans. He hisses when his throbbing erection isn’t so choked back, palming himself over his underwear. He goes to slide those off too when he catches you sitting up to remove his shirt. 
“No. Leave that on.” He growled, yanking his underwear off and throwing it with the rest of the discarded clothes. You hummed in response, the husk of his voice sending a jolt to your pussy. You knew you were growing damp, and the tiny lace wouldn’t do much to stop that from being painfully obvious. You sigh softly at the sight of him, though it almost pisses you off. Yes, of course, even his cock is utterly perfect. Somewhere in the eight inches ballpark, purple veins along his curved shaft led to a pretty pink tip glossy with his arousal. He thumbs the slit and spreads it further, beautiful blue eyes fluttering shut to enjoy the brief strokes. You whine, not sure what he wants you to do. 
Satoru has planned this day for so long, he’ll make sure you comply with his every request to fulfill this fantasy. He stands at the foot of your bed, huge hands wrapping around your ankles so he can drag you to lay completely flat on the mattress. There’s that devious smirk you know, your eyes widen slightly in wonder. He was planning something. 
“I can use that loud ass mouth, right?” He hums, getting back to his knees on the bed. But this time, instead of straddling your hips, he positions his knees on either side of your shoulders. You gulp, his full length looming large over your face. You look past his dick to his oceanic stare. 
“Yeah, yeah. Do your worst.” You manage to squeak, trying to reserve some of your pride. His eyes burn with amusement. He reaches his hand forward, putting a thumb on your chin to tilt your mouth downwards. He grins, angling your throat. 
“You shouldn’t have said that.” He clicked his tongue, swiping at your bottom lip. “Goddamn, I’m gonna ruin you.” He says, affectionately smoothing down your hair while tapping your mouth with his tip. “Open up.”
You part your lips wider, relaxing your jaw; you even stick your tongue out to provide him the perfect mental image to remember. He slides his cock into your silky throat, hot mouth swallowing him all up so good he’s fighting that ball of tension in his stomach just from the sight. He knows he’ll last, even if cums down your throat he’ll make sure he pumps you full of another round. You clearly needed to know who you belonged to. He leans his weight forward, his tip colliding with your gag reflex. You choke around him, but he doesn’t let up. His hand catches him on the headboard, and now he has the perfect angle to hammer into your wet mouth without mercy. He keeps his icy gaze angled down, he can’t miss a second of your tears pooling and sliding down your reddened cheeks. You’re so beautiful, he can’t believe you made him wait two years to claim you like this. That’s fine, he understands that his powerful presence can be a bit much. He is the Honored One after all. He was content to wait for you until you could honor him. 
He’s huge in your throat. You can feel your walls spasm around his cock, gagging and sputtering on him as he relentlessly slams into you. Your nose collides with his snowy pubes every time, saliva slicking down everything. Your cunt burns for attention, he’s driving you crazy with the way he’s looking at you, long white lashes framing the darkest lust-fueled stare you’ve ever seen. He’s using you so perfectly, you don’t mind being sore and unable to speak if it means you get to drink his load. Your hand sneaks over your thighs, sliding your thong over. You’re so drenched that the cold air makes you whimper around his gag, but you let your longest digit glide to your soaking hole. Gathering some of your slick, you slide back up to your aching bundle of nerves, easing circles over yourself. You sigh with relief, and Satoru turns to see why, grunting with dissatisfaction. His hips still, and he reaches to slap your hand away and give a punishing slap to your cunt. You jerk up in surprise, though the pressure was sickeningly sweet. 
“None of that shit. You oughta wait longer, made me wait two whole years to make you mine.” He growls, bringing his hands back to hold your face. He rocks his hips into your face again, moaning softly at how well you’ve acclimated to his rod. Your gags are so erotic, giving you and him both goosebumps. He chuckles, feeling his stomach and cock twitch. 
“Swallow it all or I’m not touching you.” He warns, spurting his seed down your throat. It’s a heavy load, spilling into your cheeks as he drags his cock out. You cover your mouth to keep any of his cum from leaking out, swallowing the hot liquid instantly. His hold on your cheeks makes it easy for him to push your mouth open, making sure you swallow every bit. He taps his tip against your lips in satisfaction, sliding back down your body to straddle your thighs this time. “That’s a good fuckin’ girl. You want me to eat your pussy?” He asks, sharp white teeth nipping at the delicate skin of your neck. 
You nod, still gasping for breath. Your blood was thumping in your ears as well as your pussy, and all you could think about was his strong tongue against yours earlier. 
“Beg me for it.” He smiles, breaking some skin below your collarbone and lapping his tongue over it. “Kept me waitin’ angelface. I think it’s the least you can do for me.” He coos, pushing his tee up all the way up your perfect thighs and over your tits. He nibbles his lower lip at the sight of your exposed body, not that it was the first time he’s seen you. Fresh out of the shower, scouring for clothes with no idea he’s watching or when your pajamas are so skanky you might as well wear nothing at all. This was special though, this was you wanting him, this was you begging for him to make you cum. 
You whine, squirming under him. He eyes the slutty panties, shaking his head. “And I thought I hid all of these…” He sighs, working the drenched fabric off. He sniffs them and whimpers, they smell just as heavenly as all the others. Your pussy glistens with your floods of slick, he can’t help but lick his lips, palming his semi into a full erection again. You hardly thought he was serious with all of his flirts. He definitely seemed like the type to just enjoy flustering someone. Plus, you didn’t quite understand what he saw in you–surely he could be with super models. But he made you cancel any date you had for the past two years and actively barked at anyone who looked at you twice, and now stealing your panties for his use… surely that was a lot of commitment if he was just teasing you right? Fucking your mouth like it was his god given right, wanting you to beg for him, he really did want you carnally. 
“Satoru,” You sigh out breathlessly, the man just out of arm’s reach. You bat your lashes and stare up at him. “Oh god, I’m sorry! I didn’t know you really wan’ed me! I didn’t mean to make you wait, baby, please–just please make me yours. I can’t take it ‘nymore, Sato..” You pant. He swears he’s vibrating, the pout in your voice just too much to handle. He needs you just as bad, but he has to make you cum for him before he ruins your cunt. He bites your thigh, determined to leave a bruise there, too. He’ll mark you up now that you’re his, no one could ever doubt or deny who you belong to. He only knows passion and all or nothing, his love is smothering and obsessive, and you’ll know everything about that. He groans, smelling your dripping juices was the final straw. His lips latch onto your painful need and you gasp out at the feeling. Your thigh burned where he had indented his teeth into it, but the pain only served to fog your brain up and soak your cunt just that much more
“Shoulda known I was serious.” He complains in between languid laps to your middle, drinking up the nectar. “I forgive you. ‘S gonna be okay now, I got us now.” He sighs dreamily, beginning a feisty assault on your core. He nibbles at your clit, sucking on it harshly and then following it with sweet and soothing licks. He can’t help but dip his svelte fingers in your tight hole, growling as you clamp around him. He knows you’re gonna be so fucking tight, and now he’s rutting his hips into your bed to stave off his desire until he pleases you to his liking. He coos as your arousal coats his plump pink lips, shaking his head as he devours you. His fingers pump and curl in all the right places. You’re sputtering and gasping, eyes clenched shut so hard colored orbs prick at your vision. You’re about to explode, every orgasm you’ve ever brought yourself or experienced before paling in comparison to the one you’re about to succumb to now. 
Your legs shake, clenching around his head. His strong hands force your legs back down, squeezing gently on your thighs. He kneads the flesh, admiring how easily you surrendered to him. “You bout to cum, sweet girl?” He teases, working into your spongy spot with his lengthy fingers. 
You nod, worried that he’d make you beg for that too.You decided to get ahead of the curve, babbling immediately. “Yes, please Satoru! Wan’ cum for you s’bad–please!” 
He chuckles, “Of course darling. Cum for me, Tell me I’m the only one who can make you feel this good.” He demands, watching your nose scrunch up and your body jerk involuntarily. He can feel the flood of your release against his fingers, and he grins. He can’t hold it back anymore, he has to have you right now. He doesn’t let you recover, folding your legs into a mating press to start, sliding his aching length through your slippery hole and into those choking walls. He groans, letting his head fall back. You were just as tight as he imagined–no, tighter! This was all for him, no one but him would ever touch you again. The way you grip him sends chills down his spine, and his obsessive craving for you turns into an insatiable need. You watch his adam's apple bob in his throat, eyeing the rest of his bare chest and abs that had their own abs. He growls, his hold on the underside animalist. “Oh my god, doll..” He groans, breathing through his nose in an effort to calm himself.
 “I’m gonna give it you so fucking good, little one. Gonna claim you in every way, give you my kids, don’t’cha want that?” He coos, hips snapping into your ass rapidly. He’s abusing your spot instantly, and he knows it. It’s partially because he knows he can’t last too long in this glorious cunt when he’s this worked up and partially because he wants to see you come undone before him, begging for him to fill you to the brim. He did say he’d claim you in every way, what could be more of his mark? His teeth prints bruising your sweet skin, or his child growing in your womb? He shivers at the idea. He never thought this way about people before you. Something about your perfect hair and your sweet smile made him horny in ways he never knew. He craves seeing you full of his cum, making you hold it and not letting you get any medicine to keep you from conceiving. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, right? 
His cock fills you so right that you know you’d agree to anything right now. Your feet shake by your ears, you can’t take his repeated and unforgiving slams. You nod dumbly, craving his hot load in your pussy and more of his dirty fantasies. “Mhm, wan’ give you pretty babies, ‘Toru, jus’ give it all to me.” You plead, tits bouncing with his brutal fucks. 
His mouth drops open. “Agh, oh fuck..you really want me to knock you up baby? Lock me in as your baby daddy?” He questions breathily, dick jumping as you clench down. You really did like the idea it seems, as your wanton moans and soaking wave of cum clue him in to some fantasies of your own. 
You nod vigorously again. “Yes! Oh my god, yes, please, Daddy…I’ll make you one I swear!” His whines are so rewarding. The pleasure you send coursing through him causes his brows to furrow.
“You fucking got it angel. Make me a baby.” He nods, determined to follow through on your wish. His cheeks flush, his cum shooting all over your walls. It was hot and gushing, your hole clenches in an effort to hold onto it.  He’s wanted you all this time, there was no way you would escape him now. Now, you were all for him forever, and he hoped his seed took hold and grew within you. Couldn’t be so bratty if you were glowing with a child, his child. He had more than enough money, in his mind it's completely rational. He just wanted you to be reminded who you are now, who you belong to. The world needs to know it too, and he doesn’t mind to keep trying until it works. “Gonna look so pretty when you swell up for me.” He giggles, lazily blinking at you. He pushes your beautiful hair out of your face, gently holding your cheek. 
“I love you. That’s why I act this way. You’re all mine now, for good. I'll always take good care of you, my pretty mama.” He coos, his voice sweet as he leans up to kiss your parted lips, your body still coping with the waves of pleasure. Sure, all the dinners you’ve made for him and all the times you’ve folded his laundry was just you being nice, but you knew why you cared so much for your annoyingly handsome roommate. 
“I love you too. Here I was thinking this was the unluckiest day of my life.” You snort, running your hands through his white locks as he remains content to lay on top of you. He chuckles in return, but his mind is busy. He’s thinking about what theme for the nursery, names for your son or daughter, and how good you’d look needing him for everything for the next nine months. 
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babyangelsky · 2 months
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My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 9
Holy shit I don't think I have ever felt more relieved watching the penultimate episode of a Thai BL than I did this week. I was expecting doom, I was expecting gloom, and while both were absolutely present, we did not linger there.
This is just my opinion but to me that alone is proof of how much Mame has grown as a writer because for a second there I was fearing another Don't Say No situation.
BUT THIS AIN'T ABOUT THAT LET'S YAP ABOUT MICROEXPRESSIONS
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I need to start with my baby because after the horrors last week, seeing her smile means everything to me. Gotta hold onto it as long as I can because we all know what's coming.
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And speaking of smiles, this situation is TERRIBLE there are delinquents coming at my man with 2x4's but this feral smile from Mahasamut?
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This one is purely for Meena's benefit, to comfort and reassure her but it is genuine, Fort's eyes are very sparkly. He switches gears very quickly when the getaway bike arrives for the thugs though so however chill he seems, he absolutely isn't. He just wants to keep the baby (and Vivi and her friend) calm.
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It's very disconcerting to see Vivi this serious.
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We're 2/2 on smiles for other people's benefit. My poor girly.
*stares at Viviana* You did this.
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This look of pure murderous intent may be one of my favorite expressions Mut has had over this whole show, especially because it's paired with that clenched fist. And I'm going to give extra praise to Fort for it because he doesn't clench his fist until after Tongrak apologizes for what happened and he doesn't open his eyes until his hand is practically trembling from holding it so tightly.
This response doesn't come when Rak tries to blame himself for the beating; it happens when he apologizes for it. Mut isn't angry in the abstract and he isn't angry at Rak, he's angry for him.
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I don't like this face, Khun Tongrak. I actually had a moment where I thought to myself, "why can't I read your face right now?" and of course it's deliberate on Peat's part. Even without knowing what we know from the preview, this face would have told us that Something was about to happen.
Or maybe that's just me, I don't know. I've been staring very hard at Peat's face for the past two months.
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Watching Tongrak desperately try to steel his nerve after entering the snake pit that is his sperm donor's house is heartbreaking.
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As much as I hate to subject you (and myself) to more of Jak's face, I'd like to point out that like last week, his face is in shadow while the face of the person he's speaking to, in this case Tongrak, is catching the light. Also worth noting that Rak's back is quite literally against the wall in this scene.
We see this play with light/shadow again when Rak has a flashback of him from his childhood. Jak has always been a vile, psychopathic snake and his true feelings and intentions have always been hidden behind shadow.
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It's horrible to say because there's so much anguish behind it but this is such a beautiful expression. There's a split second where he tries to look angry but it just doesn't work.
I think there's a tiny part of Tongrak that truly believed that tearing up the contract would be what made Mahasamut leave and on the flip side of that, a part that was afraid that the contract was truly the only thing making Mut stay.
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GODDAMN THIS IS THE SEXIEST THING MAHASAMUT HAS EVER SAID ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
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For people like Tongrak and for people who can relate to Tongrak in the sense that one or more of the parents we pulled in the great gacha of life are horrible and shitty, there comes a moment where you realize that they aren't actually these huge indestructible monsters. They're human.
And when you realize that and look at them, it's like you're seeing for the first time. There's a weird sort of pity and whatever the opposite of awe is that you feel that's hard to describe. It's a feeling of "...Is that really it? Is that all there is to you?"
That is what Peat is portraying so incredibly in this scene.
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BLINDING LIGHT OF LOVE LET'S GOOOOOOO
WILD HORSES, YA'LL! WILD FUCKING HORSES!
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Pouty Tongrak face, as a treat.
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Mook and Mahasamut were talking about Tongrak and what Mut would do if he got rejected when all was said and done, but Mook's face when Mut says he would accept the rejection tells me she's also thinking about herself and Vivi.
I actually really wish she would've talked to Mut about it directly because god knows girly pop needs to talk to someone about Vivi. Or better yet, Vivi herself.
As for the preview next week, do not even sweat it babes because you know what?
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THERE ARE COLORFUL PATTERNS ON TONGRAK'S BODY!
I LOVE GETTING EVERYTHING I WANT!
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waynes-multiverse · 5 months
Text
Video Games
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Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female!Reader
Summary: It's been a long time, and Ben direly misses his wife. Only a video chat truly reveals how much. Accompanying one shot to Rehab
Warnings: 18+/NSFW, language & insults, human!Ben, long distance relationship, smut (masturbation f & m, dirty talk), angst
Word Count: 2.0k
A/N: I know you guys begged me for a happy ending, and I promise it's coming (maybe in form of a three parter? 👀), but yeah, this is clearly not it. Somehow, my fingers always go rogue on the keyboard when it comes to these two, no matter my good intentions.
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Transfixed green eyes are glued to the TV screen as Victoria Neuman gives yet another speech on another stage in another state on V-SPAN, yapping about some fucking policies Ben doesn’t give two shits about. He also could give less fucks about the president in general, his gaze focused on a young, beautiful woman standing by Neuman’s right side.
Yeah, he’s only enduring that shit show for her.
Y/N’s tight black pencil skirt makes his cock ache. It ends a few too many inches above the knees, too short for a Chief of Staff. Ben knows she’s only wearing it for him. It’s part of the sick game they’ve been playing.
That little piece of clothing could ride up any second and reveal her glistening pussy underneath to a whole audience, flashing conservatives and liberals alike. Ben has told her not to wear panties, and because she’s a good fucking girl, she has obliged his wishes. Y/N’s the best fucking wife, after all.
His eyes then flicker to the door down the hallway as he sits comfortably on the couch with a beer bottle in hand. It’s still shut tightly, the kid fast asleep. With the air clear, Ben’s hand slips into his sweatpants and palms his semi, jerking his fist up and down his hardening length.
He shuts his eyes for a heartbeat, imagining what her tight and soaked cunt feels like wrapped around him. Fuck, he misses her so goddamn much. He hates being alone, even though he’s not. He’s still got the kid, so it all trickles down to him fucking hating being without her.
There’s no cure for Y/N, and there’s no replacement for her, either.
Ben sets the beer down on the coffee table and frees his dick fully, shuffling the gray sweats down to his ankles. When Neuman finishes the last leg of her speech, he watches as Y/N eagerly begins to chew on her bottom lip, almost gnawing the goddamn thing bloody. She’s as fucking giddy as he is.
As soon as the president and her entourage leave the stage, Ben grabs his phone and opens her contact. His thumb brushes the little blue button with the camera symbol, his ears waiting to hear her sweet and sultry voice again as it dials.
Her bright smile is the first thing he sees. His heart beats so fast the friction causes a fire and melts the broken thing into a puddle. He can feel the heat in his cheeks as they involuntarily rise with a smile he can’t muzzle.
“Fuck, I’m so hard, baby girl,” he says and squeezes the throbbing cock in his fist.
Y/N laughs, shaking her head. “Hello, husband. I’m good, thank you for asking. How are you?”
“Like I said, fucking hard,” he reiterates, his deep voice raspy, impatient, and hungry. He rolls his green eyes. “C’mon, you really wanna chitchat about small talk? I know you’re fucking dripping for my cock under that tight little skirt.”
Y/N’s eyes widen scoldingly, but the flush of red in her cheeks makes him chuckle. “Ben! I’m still in the elevator. At least let me get to my hotel room first.”
“Perfect.” Ben smirks broadly, a mischievous glint in his forest green orbs. “Just push the red ‘Stop’ button and lemme rail that cunt there.”
“Charming as always,” another voice chimes.
“I’m not alone, you idiot,” Y/N informs him, giggling, and swings the camera till Victoria’s bitchy grin of amusement comes into view.
Ben rolls his eyes in open and shameless annoyance, scoffing. “Ugh, of course, that bull dyke’s with you…”
Victoria only smirks at his insult with crossed arms. “Unlike you, that never gets old, coot. How are those adult diapers suiting you?”
“You fucking hippie cuntzilla,” Ben grits angrily, his brow scrunching so much he’s close to a rage headache. “You couldn’t fucking handle all of me.”
“Trust me, I don’t want to,” Victoria huffs mockingly. “You know what they say – once the body goes, the mind follows, you dried-up dinosaur.”
“You fucking–”
“Okay, alright! Stop it you two. Enough with the insults,” Y/N steps in and pans the camera away from Neuman’s winning smirk and back to her. She sighs. “That’s my floor. We’re almost there.”
Ben still boils with fury, especially when he hears the two women exchange a few bullet points about a staff meeting before bidding their goodbyes. But by the time Y/N unlocks the door to her room, he’s simmered down enough and stroked his cock back to its full glory.
Y/N sets up her phone on her dresser, the lens focused on her as she takes a step back. A naughty smile curves her lips as she licks them and plays with the buttons on her blouse.
“Ready?” she asks and waits for him to switch the camera around.
Ben chuckles and aims the lens on his dick, standing proud and tall. “Look for yourself, baby girl.”
Y/N bites her lip at the sight of his cock – so fucking thick, long, and swollen. “Fuck, I’d kill to have you inside of me right now,” she coos and pops open the buttons of her blouse, one by one. Soon, the white silk material slips off her shoulders and leaves her standing in an all too-innocent white bra, her tits perfectly framed by delicate lace. Her hands then wander behind her back and unhook it, freeing two full breasts. She massages and gropes them, rolling her pert nipples between her fingers as she moans.
“Shit, you know that fucking turns me on when you talk like that,” Ben grunts, pumping his cock harder as it swells in his hand. “Show me that tight pussy of yours. Need to see it before I fucking come. Bet it’s real wet, huh?”
“Fucking drenched,” Y/N croons and opens the back zipper of her skirt. “Can feel it fucking run down my thighs. Thought all day about you. I didn’t wear any panties like I promised you.”
“Such a fucking good girl,” Ben praises her with a smirk on his lips. “Where’s that fucking feminism of yours now, huh?” he teases, chuckling. “Fuck, I wanna feel that slick on my fingers and lick it clean off.”
“This one, asshole?” Y/N giggles as her hand delves into her skirt and runs through her soaked folds. She pulls out her glistening fingers and sucks them into her mouth, tasting her own sweet arousal.
“Fucking shit…” Ben hisses, his cock twitching needily in his hand. All he wants is to eat her out and sink into her. “Pull that fucking thing off right now and get on the bed. Ass first,” he orders.
Y/N does as he says, the skirt falling down her smooth legs and revealing her bare pussy to him. She spins around and climbs on the mattress on all fours, wiggling her ass high in the air. She smirks over her shoulder at the camera when she hears his wanton growl before she lays down on her back and spreads her legs wide, her pink and wet cunt in full view.
“Fuck, look at you, baby. So fucking perfect. I’d love to fuck you stupid till you’re a drooling mess, you little cockslut,” Ben says and can feel himself riding closer to the edge. “Touch yourself for me. Flick that little clit till you tremble and scream for me to fill you.”
Y/N’s hand dives between her thighs, two fingers rubbing circles on her sensitive flesh. She mewls and whimpers with every touch. “Fuck, can I put a finger inside me?”
“Shit, yeah,” Ben groans enthusiastically. “Try three. Stuff ‘em in there. Real deep. Come for me, baby. Wanna see that pretty face you make.”
“Fuck, Ben! I need you… I want you… So bad… Want your cock to fuck me… Please… I miss you…” Y/N moans and cries as she works herself into a frenzy. The familiar tug in her belly threatens to implode with each stroke.
Ben’s already a goner when those last words reach him, fisting his cock so hard he’s glad he doesn’t have superpowers anymore. He might’ve broken it for good otherwise. Precum leaks from his red and swollen tip, slicking his aching dick with each jerk of his hand. He’d give anything to feel her mouth and ample lips around his length, but the memory of it suffices to make him explode for now.
Swiftly, he grabs a few tissues from the box next to him and blows his load inside of them while Y/N’s blissful screams fill his ears as her climax tears through her. A few more slow and lazy strokes milk the rest of his dick before his shoulders deflate, and Ben relaxes back into the comfort of the soft couch cushions.
Pantingly, they lie in silence for a minute and let their speeding hearts find calm again. Y/N then props up from the bed and saunters to the dresser to grab her phone before she plops back down on the mattress. She frames the camera on her face and smiles at him, her cheeks flushed with an afterglow.
Ben smiles, too, although there’s a twinge in his stomach and a pinch in his heart. He’s grown to love the perks of technology and the twenty-first century. If he couldn’t see her on that little screen in his hand every night, he would’ve gone mad a while ago.
But everything else still sucks. The fact he can’t touch her, hold her, and love her the way he wants to fucking sucks.
“You okay there, stud?” Y/N checks, even though the truth is written clear as day on his freckle-dusted face. She feels it, too – that sickening, torturous, and undeniable pull towards him. All she wants is to rest her head on his broad chest and beating heart with his strong arms wrapped around her, holding her so tight she can barely fill her lungs with air.
Ben’s tongue swipes over his chapped lips for a moment. He’s not someone who shares his emotions easily, and it’s only gotten harder for him without her near. But it’s too fucking much, and there’s no end in sight.
“No,” he admits with a tormented swallow. “It’s not fucking okay. I fucking miss you. You’re my goddamn wife. You’re supposed to be here, Y/N.”
“I know.” Y/N exhales a sympathetic sigh and tries her best to be there for him, even though she’s exhausted after an 80-hour work week. “I miss you, too. And the kid. So much. It’s not always gonna be this way. You know I can’t come home. I don’t wanna hurt anyone, least of all you.”
“I don’t fucking care anymore. It’s been six months. We’ll figure it out. Just come home, my love,” he all but begs in the four walls of his quiet house. For Y/N, he’d even go down on his knees. He just wants her here. He doesn’t care what it costs him, virility included.
“Ben…” Y/N bites her lip, her eyes pleading. “I’m making a difference here. I’m actually doing something good.”
“Fuck that! Fuck all of that shit, Y/N!” Ben yells and strains himself to lower his voice, not wanting to wake the boy. “I fucking love you. I’m sick and tired of those games. How many fucking times do I have to tell you that I miss you, huh? I don’t wanna do this anymore. I don’t wanna call you and hope you have time to pick up. I don’t wanna text you and wait hours for a fucking answer. I don’t wanna fuck you through a dumbass screen. I miss you. I miss my wife. I miss actual goddamn sex, for fuck’s sake!”
Y/N holds back the brimming tears in her eyes, her longing heart agreeing with his words. “I know. I miss all of that, too. Maybe it’s time. Maybe we should finally talk about it.”
Ben’s brow furrows. He doesn’t like the tone in her voice and the look on her face that’s full of heartbreak. “Talk about what?”
“Divorce.”
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I know, I know... "Wayne, why are you being so cruel, mean, and evil to us?" But I promise you those two will figure their shit out eventually. They've been through too much to let go now 💚
But man, do I love writing some Neuman/Ben banter. I wish they had actual screen time on the show. I feel like it would've been fucking hilarious 😂
This is not the end. Those two idiots will be back 😘
TAGS:
Jensen: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey @deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies @agalliasi @yvonneeeee @hobby27 @iamsapphine @globetrotter28 @mxltifxnd0m @lacilou @feyresqueen @suckitands33 @onlyangel-444 @syrma-sensei @perpetualabsurdity
Rehab Series: @nancymcl @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @sparkydonugh
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theemissuniverse · 1 year
Text
“YOU ARE MY SOUL” LIU KANG X FEM!READER
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SUMMARY : You find out Liu Kang loved Kitana in another timeline and you’re angry. In the previous timeline, you were in love with Liu Kang and heartbroken over this. Also you’re one of Earthrealm’s champions
WARNINGS : MINORS DONT INTERACT. angsty but happy endings for everyone! oral f receiving, praise kink, p in v, edging, some other stuff I probably forgot
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You were beyond mad. How could he keep this from you? How could he pretend that all was well in the universe?
Liu Kang had now finally revealed about him creating this timeline. He also thought it was time to tell you about the last one. That he was actually in love with someone else. A goddamn princess specifically.
As if you weren’t already insecure enough about the relationship. Your boyfriend was a goddamn Fire God. You couldn’t compete with that. Now you couldn’t compete with an Outworld princess.
You walked through your house, completely trying to ignore Liu Kang but Liu Kang kept following you. “My love, my past life means nothing as of now.”
You scoffed. You go into the kitchen and grabbed some things out so you could get started on dinner. “Give me a break. You were in love with goddamn Princess Kitana.”
Liu Kang watched as you angrily grabbed food out to make dinner. Nothing made him feel more guilty than this. He didn’t regret telling you. You had a right to know. He just hated how the whole situation turned out. “Everything was different in the last timeline.”
“Yeah, I bet everything was different. Hey, here’s a question-if you and Kitana were out having the time of your lives, where the fuck was I?”
If Liu Kang could throw up, he would. He didn’t want to tell you because he didn’t want you to feel bad about yourself. You again, still had your right to know. “You were in love with me…and you died for me.”
Your eyes went wide eyed at the reveal. You threw down the food that was in your hands on the kitchen counter. “Let me get this straight-you get to bone a literal princess while I get to be obsessed with you to the point of my death? Great.”
You went to the sink and started to wash your hands. You couldn’t feel anymore humiliated. Like you were a joke. Did he only date you because he felt sorry for you? “Are you only with me because you couldn’t get Kitana in this timeline?”
Liu Kang immediately shook his head. “Not at all, my love.” He came up behind you and gently rubbed on your neck to release some tension. “I did not plan for you to fall in love with me this time and I also did not plan for myself to fall in love with you. But I did. You are truly amazing, (Y/N). I wouldn’t have anyone but you. I’m sorry for making you feel this way.”
You were even more mad now because your anger was dying. Not only because of his words but how his hands worked your body. “Don’t do that. Don’t talk all sweet to me and rub up on my body. It’s not gonna work this time.” You said, drying your hands with the rag that was next to you.
Liu Kang’s hands went to your hips and he started to kiss your neck. “You are the only one I desire, (Y/N). The only one that I love. Please, let me show you how much I love you.”
Liu Kang brought you back into him. His hand easily slipped in your sweatpants and into your underwear. He found his way to your clit and started to rub it in circles.
You moaned. Liu Kang continued to kiss and suck on your neck. It was like all your anger for him was gone and you hated it. You hated how he made you feel.
“Oh my god…This is not going to get you out of trouble.” Your sentence was cut off when you felt Liu Kang pick you up.
He took you all the way to the bedroom and gently placed you down on the bed. Liu Kang kissed your lips sweetly before going back to your neck and sucking on it. You moaned louder. “Liu…”
Liu Kang pulled away and took your sweatpants off. Then went with your underwear. He bent down and spread your legs only to then start to eat you out.
“Oh fuck. Liu Kang.” Your hands went immediately on his head and you tugged on his hair.
Liu Kang’s hands were wrapped around your thighs. He tasted you like it was his favorite meal in the world. His tongue danced on your clit several times before licking up all your juices.
He started to suck on your clit. You tugged on his hair even harder. “Oh my…” Liu Kang was the only one that could get you to feel like this and you hated it.
Liu Kang rubbed on your thighs. Your whole body to him was a work of art. All he wanted was you. All he loved was you.
He slurped all your juices and pulled away from your delicious pussy. Liu Kang licked his fingers slightly and stuck them inside of you, going in and out.
You threw your head back. Liu Kang allowed you to grip on his bicep as he used his incredible God-like powers on you. The sex was always more overwhelming and pleasurable because he was a God.
Liu Kang watched you as you fucked yourself on his fingers and he admitted it was one of the most beautiful things in the world to him.
“Liu Kang. I need you. Please.”
Liu Kang didn’t stop fingering you. “What do you want, love?”
“Fill me up, please.”
Liu Kang stopped. He started to take off his pants and underwear. Once his bottom half was completely naked, he grabbed your thighs and wrapped them around him. “Are you ready, darling?” He saw you nod and then entered you.
Liu Kang stretched you out so well. You moaned as he entered you. He gave you one passionate but sloppy kiss on the lips before starting to move in you.
He loved making love to you. For him, it was one of the best things in the world. He loved to make you feel good. He loved that you would fall apart underneath him. He loved that you were his. He didn’t plan to give you up anytime soon.
“Faster. Please.”
Liu Kang listened to you and started to fuck you faster and a bit harder to your liking. He continued to have your legs wrapped around him as he made love to you. “My goddess, you look absolutely stunning like this.” Liu Kang lifted your shirt and rubbed all over your stomach. “I could not give you up if I tried. You are mine and I am yours.”
Him speaking so beautifully to you always turned you on even more. You whimpered at his words. Liu Kang felt your pussy clench around his dick and he grunted a little.
Liu Kang never really showed reactions during sex as he was a God, had control of himself, and has been alive since the dawn of time. He knew you hated that he would show no reaction and was trying to change that.
Liu let out his moans. You did feel good around him despite his God nature trying to hide it. To be honest, he already felt like he had to cum. He was lucky that he was a God and he could hold it for however long he needed to until you came.
“Oh my god. You make me feel so good. Please don’t ever stop.”
Liu Kang listened to you. It was like heaven to his ears. His hand was still on your stomach. He gave you light rubs as he fucked you. “You’re the only woman that can make me feel like this. You’re the only woman I desire to make feel good.” His pace sped up and he was hitting your good spot. “I am yours.”
Your mouth turned into an ‘O’ shape as he hit your good spot. You couldn’t even put it into words. You just flung your head back and closed your eyes.
Liu Kang continued to mercilessly hit your spot. “Say it. I’m yours.”
You knew if you didn’t, Liu Kang wouldn’t let up. “You’re mine. You’re all mine. Fuck, Liu Kang.”
God, you looked too good like this. Liu Kang slowed up the pace a little so he wasn’t constantly hitting your good spot. “You’re too good for me, my love. I don’t deserve you.” Liu Kang felt your pussy clench again and he grunted. He tried to slow up but he couldn’t resist you anymore. He started to pound into you harder.
“Oh, fuck. Liu Kang. Yes, yes, yes.” You loved when Liu Kang lost control inside of you. “Fuck this pussy. It’s yours all yours.”
Liu Kang felt like he could cum any second and was once again glad of his god-like ability. “Mine.” He gripped onto your thighs. “All mine.” He continued to fuck you hard and fast. “Nobody can have you but me.”
Liu Kang being possessive was the hottest thing in the world to you. You tugged on Liu Kang’s shirt, indicating for him to bend down and kiss you. Liu Kang understood and bent down to kiss you.
The two of you moaned as he went relentlessly in you. He didn’t even break a sweat at how fast he was going.
“I’m so close.” You said in the kiss.
Liu Kang was glad you were but he was going to do something he had never done: deny you to cum. “Hold it.”
Your eyes widen a little at this. “Liu, I can’t hold it.”
“Yes you can.” Liu Kang placed another soft kiss on your lips before focusing back on his pace. “I love you more than anyone and anything. Do you believe me?”
Your fingernails dug into Liu Kang’s back. “Yes, baby. I believe you. Please.”
Liu Kang did not let up on his pace. “Tell me your mine.”
“I’m yours. Fuck, Liu Kang. I’m all yours. Please. It feels too good.”
Liu Kang brushed away the tears that were welling up in your eyes. “Remember that the next time you question my love for you. Now cum.”
When Liu Kang felt you cum on him, he released into you. He continued going until you both were done.
Liu Kang pulled out of you. He gave you sweet butterfly kisses on your face, making you giggle. “I’ll start a bath for you.”
He tried to get up but you made him stay on top of you. “Not yet. Just hold me.”
Liu Kang kissed your cheek. “As you wish, my love.” He intertwined his fingers with yours and held your hand. “You are my everything. My soul. Do not forget that.”
You smiled at him. “I won’t.”
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rubra-wav · 7 months
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[ Entry #9 ] Various Vox headcanons
A/N I've got a post coming up about what I think it'd be like to actually date him coming up, (alongside Snap part 2 ofc, I'm just taking my time w it to try keep things accurate) so here's some points which will lead into that next post + other misc stuff I've been thinking abt.
Cw: SFW above cut, NSFW below cut - 18+ MDNI, reference to manipulative behaviours
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SFW
- While drunk, he's both very affectionate and cute but also gets really sad and clingy. If you stop paying attention to him for even a second while he's gonna start bawling like a giant baby. It's also the only time he's truly 100% honest with how he feels about you.
Basically; the mask falls right off, so he doesn't like to get drunk around people. He will deny all that's been said or done during this.
- He doesn't need to sleep but likes to - when he sleeps tho he doesn't really sleep in the traditional sense but instead goes into a preset 'sleep mode' for a specific set of time. He can also be rebooted remotely if you need him up before he's programmed to wake up again. (I discuss more abt this type stuff in entry #4)
- Follow up point: when he dreams while in sleep mode, his dreams play on his screen. He often dreams about becoming essentially king of hell and having people worship him like a god.
If you bring this up, he will be embarrassed as all fucking hell and will also deny it vehemently.
- He ends up getting water damage fairly often because he really loves swimming and aquatic environments ironically.
He's of course got ways of waterproofing himself properly, but usually he will do it badly or just not give a fuck about it and go swimming impulsively.
Will complain like a bitch after getting water damaged as well, holy shit. Blames everything but himself about it.
- Follow up: if you ever take this man to an aquarium on a date, he's going to be so fucking excited about everything he's seeing.
He will be trying to contain himself, but he may end up letting the mask of calmness slip at points and just start randomly talking a million miles an hour about whatever shark, fish, sea creature, etc. He's seeing. He loves sharks so much.
- Somewhat follow-up point: If you 1. don't tell him to shut up about shit when he starts getting excited and talking really fast and loudly AND 2. Actually listen?
He's gonna be so goddamn happy. Holy shit.
He's used to being told to shut up when he starts talking about ideas he has for a new VoxTek project, so if you give him feedback and your thoughts on it once he's done info dumping? He's gonna start internally screaming because he's so happy about it.
- Follow up follow-up: He doesn't take criticism well though. In fact, he's a baby. If you're in a relationship and you've gotten him out of his bs a bit with his ego being fragile as shit about everything, it'll be better but still pretty bad.
He needs reassurance that just because you disagree or think (y) would be a better alternative than what's his (x), that you still think it's a good idea, lmao.
- If you wear blue light glasses he can't hypnotise you, and he absolutely fucking hates it. In an argument or confronting him, you just put on bluelight glasses and cross your arms, and he's so annoyed about it.
You'd need to start wearing blue light glasses, because this asshole will be trying to hypnotise you into forgetting things if you see something of him that he deems 'undesirable' about himself for you to see.
- He's such a colossal attention whore that the second you are doing something thats not to do with him or talking to someone who isn't him, he's gonna be pissy asf about it.
Think glaring at you while pouting and loudly tapping his foot. He's such a little shit 💀
- He's so intensely touch starved it's not even funny. If you're doing anything his hands are gonna be on your hip, your back or your shoulders.
He desperately wants to be physically close to you but he also will never normally instigate cuddle sessions because he thinks it's embarrassing that he wants them so badly. If you instigate them, he will absolutely love it.
Just not in public, though. If you try to be super affectionate or maybe even affectionate with him at all publicly, he'll be pushing you away telling you to wait until later.
And will get mad if you try get a bit defensive about it with him.
NSFW
- He has barely any self-control and ends up getting unintentionally excited really easily - even in situations where he really shouldn't be. If you as his partner are cuddling him, sitting in his lap, touching his neck, or god forbid the ports, he's gonna get hard so quickly it's not even funny.
Him being touch starved is really a double-edged sword because he wants to be near you, but also he gets unintentionally way too physically excited about it and ends up embarrassed asf most of the time.
- Kinda follow up point: I feel as if he's extremely repressed sexually in general. He works extremely long hours to maintain his control over everything single day, and considering his tendency to start zapping things when he gets closer to finishing / overwhelmed, he'd likely not be taking any chances at all with that.
So when he gets physically near his partner alone (and also not even alone), his body just kinda goes 'time to make up for lost time'. 💀
- Most sensitive erogenous zones on him (outside of his dick obviously) are his neck and ports. I'm not sure if him having ports for nipples is canon or not, but if it still is, those are the more sensitive ones. The ones on the back of his head are still an absolute killer, though.
If you kiss his neck even softly, he'll be tensing up, and if you're kissing him or cuddling him and gently brush up against the ports on the back of his head, or your chest brushes against his and brings him nipple stimulation - he's gonna be getting a boner as quick as it gets.
- He doesn't really care too much about his partner's height, but I get the vibe that he'd have a size difference thing and would love a partner who's smaller than him (but not tiny still)
It would trip his ego so much to be able to physically look down on people in general, but with a partner? He'd be going mildly insane about it but in a different way.
Wear his clothes, and they're massive on you? He's gonna be turned on as absolute hell by that. Especially if it's one of his button ups and its neckline is plunging and giving him an eyeful of your chest.
He can easily pick you up and pull you against him in whatever way? Goes absolutely nuts about it.
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I love it when I try to go,'this will only be short', then my brainrot takes hold, and my ideas just keep flowing. 💀
Masterlist
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fatkish · 2 months
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If you’re up too it can you write some mitsuri x
Obanai x reader with maybe a chubby reader ^^!! If not ignore this wish you well
Mitsuri & Obanai x Chubby Reader
Insecurities
(Trigger warning: self deprecation, self body shaming, negative self talk/image. [this is mostly my thoughts that I’ve had towards myself and based on my experience])
You had always been insecure about your body. Compared to Mitsuri and Obanai, you felt ashamed of yourself. You never ate as much as Mitsuri but you ate more than Obanai. You hadn’t always been chubby. You remembered that you were skinny as a child, so much so you were called a twig. You don’t really know what changed, but eventually you found yourself having gained weight. Originally you struggled to maintain a healthy weight and now it seemed like no matter what you did, you couldn’t get rid of your fat.
You couldn’t even look yourself in the mirror. You hated yourself. You made sure to hide this from Mitsuri and Obanai. You don’t know what they see in you. Maybe they only want you around because…. Because why? Why are you here. Both Mitsuri and Obanai are so pretty and they make such a beautiful couple, they’re both strong, but where do you fit in? What could you possibly do for them that they can’t already do? You shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t even be aliv… tears. You’re crying. You hate yourself so much, you cover your eyes and sob.
Unknown to you, Obanai stood outside the room, listening to your sobs. Mitsuri had been coming around the corner and was about to greet him when he turned to her with a finger over where his mouth was, his other hand pointing at the door. Mitsuri walked over and heard your sobs. With tears in her own eyes she covered her mouth and looked at Obanai. “You stupid, fucking pig! Look at yourself, you might as well have a curly tail cause you’re fat like a goddamn pig…. I’m so fucking ugly” they heard you say to yourself. Obanai had a look of shock and Mitsuri one of horror.
“I shouldn’t even be alive! Why the hell am I even alive” You yelled as you sobbed, not aware of the two people listening. Mitsuri couldn’t take it anymore and ran into the room and wrapped her arms around you. “Wahhh! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you felt this way! I’m so sorry, please don’t say such things, they hurt my heart!” Mitsuri wailed as she hugged you.
“Mitsuri is right. You shouldn’t say such horrible things about yourself. You want to know why you’re alive? You’re alive because we love you. You’re the one thing we know will always be here for us. Mitsuri and I could die at any time fighting demons, but knowing that you’re here, that we have such a wonderful person at home waiting for us. It makes us fight that much harder to come home.” Obanai said as he sat down beside you and rubbed your back.
“Obanai’s right! We absolutely love you and you’re the one constant in our lives that we can depend on. You take such good care of us, you always cook me such yummy food! How could we ever not love you?” Mitsuri cried as she squeezed you tight.
You wiped your eyes and looked at them. They both looked at you with such love filled eyes. They truly adored you. “Why didn’t you tell us you were feeling this way?” Mitsuri asked. “I didn’t want to be a burden on you guys, you both risk your lives and my worries are selfish compared to what you guys see and deal with” you replied. “Nonsense, you’re feelings are important to us, don’t you dare ever hold them back from us. If something is bothering you, tell us.” Obanai demanded. He wiped the tears from your eyes and looked at you so softly. “We love you, don’t you dare ever question it, understand?” He looked you straight in the eye. “Yes” you replied.
Obanai grabbed your hand and held it to his mouth before giving it a gentle kiss through his bandages. “You’re ours, understand. It’s our job to take care of you, just as it is your job to care for us, if I see you trying to hide your feelings from us again there will be consequences understand?” Obanai threatened. “What kind of consequences?” You asked. Mitsuri smiled and hugged you as Obanai blushed as his face turned red. “We-we’ll make you love yourself, we’ll force you to be kind to yourself!” Mitsuri cheered. “And if that doesn’t work, we’ll force you to endure endless pleasure until you learn to be kind to yourself.” Obanai threatened.
You smiled and hugged them both, “I love you both so much. Thank you” you thanked them as they hugged you back. “Now c’mon. Let’s go make dinner. I’m so hungry and food always makes me feel better!” Mitsuri tugged you with her and led you towards the kitchen as Obanai followed. You smiled and held Mitsuri’s hand. You feel so loved, they love you so much, guess you are worth something after all. Why else would you be loved so deeply by these guys.
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moonriselabyrinth · 2 months
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My top 10 Brackwood songs & why each qualifies
War of Hearts by Ruelle: “I can’t help but love you even though I try not to” pretty much sums up the one scene we got between them, it was the tension and undertone we all picked up on. It’s what Davos was thinking as his hand turned just slightly towards Aeron’s even as he approached him heatedly.
Daylight by David Kushner: the expression of religious guilt surrounding sex/a relationship, the lines like “telling myself, I won’t go there” and “telling myself it’s the last time”, the idea that this expression of sexuality must be concealed and only allowed to live at night, I could go on forever probably.
Once More to See You by Mitski: the sweet melancholy of this song while being about loving someone dearly but being forced to keep it secret and living for seeing them just one more time fits Aeron and Davos devastatingly well.
Love and War by Fleurie: to keep it simple the line “lover, hunter, friend and enemy, you will always be every one of these” alone makes it perfect for them.
Rule #34 by Fish in a Birdcage: The elegance of this song that’s talking about kinky sex is so impressive and lovely to listen to in the first place and I think that fits Aeron and Davos very well. They want to tear each other apart in a tender sort of way. And the singer expressing possessiveness within those moments is, again, very fitting.
Six Feet Under By Billie Eilish: this song is about a love that is already doomed but having hope that with a little care and effort it would flourish even if you know deep down it can’t, you need that hope.
I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski: they are each others losing dogs. “Where I’ll be looking in their eyes when they’re down”, “I’m losing by their side”, “someone to watch me die”.
My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski: Davos and Aeron can’t have much of their own. They live in a time, a place, and within a system that takes everything from them as individuals. They are a Bracken and a Blackwood not Davos and Aeron. They are the sons of highborn men, they are river men, they should be knights and fighters, good at riding horses and killing and hunting, they are to marry a woman and have children and continue on their line. The only thing that truly belongs to them is personal thoughts and feelings. The only thing they can keep for themselves is loving each other.
Doomsday by Lizzy McAlpine: this one might not fit quite as well as some of the others on my list but I really like it for them all the same. I feel they could both easily come into the mindset that one of them feels more than the other because they would each always be putting up fronts and struggling not to show their true feelings so I think the lines like “you'll sit and stare like a goddamn machine” and “I'd like to plan out my part in this but you're such a narcissist” can fit pretty well. But the lines that really bring me back to this song for them are these ones: “The death of me was so quiet, no friends and family allowed, only my murderer, you and the priest who told you to go to hell” also “and the funny thing is I would've married you, if you'd have stuck around” and finally, tragically, “I feel more free than I have in years, six feet in the ground”
Somewhere Only We Know by Keane: this song is less obvious most likely but I like the idea of each of them being tired of the family obligations, the work of everyday life, the façade they have to put up about hating each other so they just daydream about being alone together somewhere know one else even knows about. Perhaps it’s where they go in their minds when life is overwhelming.
Anyway, feel free to share your own or discuss my picks in the replies 😌
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