#actually finishing what i start is becoming a chore lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ozwuv · 4 months

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I would like to draw more but I find myself overthinking it and then losing motivation. So, I was wondering if you ever had a similar issue and if so what do you do to stay motivated and not overthink?

Really good question actually!

What nipped the overthinking for me was just completely dropping the planning stage of drawing. I don't put much thought into composition, colors, etc. I don't have any solid ideas of how I want things to look before I begin. Obligatory disclaimer that this is from my perspective as a hobbyist and therefore not practical for an aspiring professional, & this is gonna sound like BS but hear me out lol

Most of the time the only things I have in mind are 1. What character(s) I want to draw and 2. A vague idea of the atmosphere I want the finished product to convey. And "finished" can mean a lot of things -- a messy sketch can be finished, a fully rendered piece I spent an entire day could be finished. A common pitfall people fall into is having an impractically rigid idea of what a "finished" drawing is and subsequently what they want their art to look like, all the bells and whistles etc, when realistically your art is never going to look exactly how it did in your head. But is that really such a bad thing?

I guess the overarching concept is to just fall in love with the process and enjoy the journey rather than the destination. This obviously sounds easier than it is in reality, but imo people focus way too hard on what they're producing rather than how and why they're producing it. Other people loving what you draw and praising it is wonderful, but if you don't enjoy the process, what was the point? Drawing (and I would venture to say most other forms of art in general) becomes a chore with that mindset applied.

A lack of planning may very well mean you wind up drawing a lot of stuff that doesn't seem interesting, maybe haphazard, difficult to parse, etc, but this is all your perception. It's cliché, but there is always going to someone out there that adores something you think looks like a dumpster fire, and that applies to the things you draw too. Over time, just doing whatever you want and enjoying the process has this trickle effect that will improve your output. In the same vein, constantly overthinking will also inevitably trickles into your output. You can often tell when someone enjoyed the process of something they drew vs when it was just a slog for them to get through (at least relative to their other works).

I would venture to say that you could spend your entire life studying and could be the most technically knowledgeable person about illustration ever in the world, but if you don't genuinely love the process, your work will never be as good as it could be if you did.

If you finish something and think it looks like shit that's always a bummer, but if you had fun with it, I think that was time worth spending. I've said this before, but most of the time I only truly dislike something I've drawn when I spent any part of the process frustrated with how it was going. It's counterintuitive, but I really think that placing so much emphasis in how you want the finished product to look is what ultimately is going to make it look like shit to you.

All that being said, once you do get past that initial overthinking phase, you can start to get more specific with planning and whatnot. The key is to just stop holding onto the idea of what you want and allowing things to develop as you go. Your art will naturally improve this way since you're actually enjoying it. To me, that's what people mean when they say they can tell something was made with love.

Side note: Let go of the need to be consistent/have a developed style. Just let yourself be inconsistent. You don't need strict consistency unless you're like an animator who needs to keep characters on-model or something. Experimenting is not only way more fun, but leads to improvement and discovering new things to implement into your process/style at large.

Tl;dr just get a lil silly w it :3c

#hope this made sense i feel like it sounds like mumbo jumbo but it works for meee #yip yap #if you saw those typos no you didnt

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spicesweet · 1 month

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you seem to be very organized person on top of being very active, do you have any tips for someone who struggles with procrastination and chores in domestic life?

well, first of all, thank you! I can't believe I seem to have my shit together like that lol

I'm not sure if I'm the most organized person, though. my house is the "organized mess" type, especially because I have a lot of objects that I like to keep around me while I'm working, so things like water bottle, lip balm, moisturizer, phone + charger, earplugs etc are always scattered around. and I have cats so, you know how it goes.

what I am in fact is very worried about keeping everything clean, not so much organized: I vacuum the house twice a day, wash the floors once every two days, I change the towels twice a week, I change the bedsheets once a week, I wash the cabinets and surfaces at least once a week, I wash the bathroom twice a week and I clean the yard once a week too.

but I don't struggle with depression, for example, and my anxiety is very much under control, so I'm not sure how I would go about if I experienced mental illness that stopped me from doing these things. in my case, if I don't do these 15-to-30-minutes tasks in the frequency that I mentioned, my house will turn into a dump in just a couple of days, because the sea winds are always bringing in dust and humidity, and both me and my cats are always sheding a lot of hair, lol. so if I don't do a little bit every single day, it'll become overwhelming very fast, and then it'll be actually hard to keep it.

I think doing a little bit every day is the easiest way to keep things in order and clean. you don't have to do a top-to-bottom deep clean every single day, you just have to do a couple of staple things like sweeping or vacuuming at least once, at the end of the day, doing the dishes as soon as you finish eating, and not scattering things around too much. maintaining is actually easier than getting started.

I found out recently that Marie Kondo uses anthropomorphization as a tool for organizing and it made me so happy to know because I've been doing this all my life thinking it was a silly childish thing, but it helps so much! everytime I'm about to leave, like, my mandoline or my blender just sitting on the counter instead of putting it back on the cabinets, I think like "she deserves to go to sleep after helping me out" and it'll make me immediately want to put it away. so if that helps, that helps.

I also love that idea that I saw on a post here once, that you need to treat domestic chores as cyclical and morally neutral: if you have dirty laundry or dirty dishes at home, it only means that you're at the stage of the cycle where they are dirty, it doesn't mean a moral failure. I think a lot of the issue we tend to have around procrastinating basic tasks is the fact that we add virtue into the equation, or we think that we can do it "wrong". we all have different methods and preferences, and you just need to find yours, because whatever works for you will always be the right way.

oh, and watch videos of people cleaning on youtube! I recommend aurikatarina and Midwest Magic Cleaning, both do deep cleaning and organizing for free for people who struggle with trauma/mental illness and both are very optimistic about the whole thing, both see cleaning in a very positive light and always emphasize how not being able to clean is a common thing and shouldn't be seen as a failure.

hope this answer helps, I'm up to talk more about it if you want ☆

#loveletters

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johaerys-writes · 1 year

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Get to know me

I was tagged by @baejax-the-great, thank you so much pal!

Share your wallpaper: My phone background for the past six months or so has been the same Patrochilles art that I'm actually not sure if I should post here without permission from the artist lol. But I can confirm that it's the cutest, most loveliest drawing of them, and Achilles looks so baby in it and I love staring at it every time I open up my phone :')

The last song you listened to: Unbound by Asgeir

Currently Reading: Ten Days That Shook The World by John Reed (don't ask why or how, but my autistic Special Interest of choice for the past 2-3 weeks has been the political intrigue surrounding WWI and how it fuelled the October Revolution so I've been reading any book/watching any documentary I can get my hands on about it), and I've also been listening to The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath while doing chores and stuff

Last Movie: Everything Everywhere All at Once with @baejax-the-great

Craving: Travel :|

What are you wearing right now: My fluffiest house robe and my fluffy slippers and super comfy and soft socks, and yes I'm still in pyjamas

How tall are you: 167 cm, no idea how that translates in feet and inches lol don't make me google it

Piercings: I have one piercing in each ear, I've often thought about getting more but needles be scary

Tattoos: 6, and planning to finish my half sleeve by the end of the year

Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses, and I do sometimes wear contacts as well

Last drink: I am currently drinking some lukewarm coffee with oat milk :3

Last show: In the past couple years I've become so bad with starting shows and actually sticking with them lol, but I did do a rewatch of Neon Genesis Evangelion fairly recently..... OH and I watched Interview with the Vampire with @baejax-the-great a little while back which was super fun!! (because apparently I can't watch something unless I can shit talk or go feral over it with Bae LOL)

Last thing you ate: Toast with peanut butter and an apple

Favourite colour: Oooh that's such a hard question to answer!! The first colour that comes to mind is blue -- I always gravitate towards some version of blue, and currently it's deep navy blue, but I also own a lot of powder blue stuff. It's either that or baby pink or cream tbh, but I also own a good amount of gold/mustard things as well. Yellow makes me happy. I find jewel green incredibly pretty though I weirdly don't own anything of that colour (which reminds me I should perhaps make that a priority)

Current obsession: I'm guessing this is a fandom related question, so I'm going to be predictable and say that I'm, as usual, obsessed with Patrochilles and most of the other pairings I am currently writing, even though anxiety over real life stuff hasn't let me engage with them as much as I want lately. I do think about them a lot and have lots of ideas for new stories, and I'm also working my way back into catching up with fics I love, which I haven't been able to do in a while despite the joy it normally gives me. Brains can be very uncooperative at times, but what can you do about it lol.

Unrelated Obsession: As I mentioned earlier I have been obsessed with Russian and generally European politics of the early 20th century for some weird ass reason lmao, but I've also been reading an in-depth analysis of Aeschylus' life and work I found in some corner of my library, which led me to looking up some academic papers about it, which led me to signing up for an online course about Athenian tragedy, so um?? I don't know what it is with me and going down those endless rabbit holes lately ahah.

Any pets: I have a cat, aka a baby and a bastard and a devil spawn all wrapped in one (he is currently sleeping like an angel after attempting to tear down the curtains)

Do you have a crush on anyone: Um. Like, on a real life person? A fictional person? I do have crushes on several of my mutuals so if y'all are reading it I'm kissing you on the forehead MWAH

Favourite fictional character: I can't choose, don't make me choose!!!!!!! I can't choose between my children. But if I had to choose then maybe.... Patroclus? But also, Achilles? But also, my OC Tristan Trevelyan and Dorian Pavus from DA? But also Shiro and Keith from VLD? But also -- SEE, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE

The last place you traveled: It feels like it's been SO long since I've traveled anywhere. I went to Aegina island last summer but since then I haven't been outside the city for even a DAY and it's been driving me crazy. I just need to see some green and blue and listen to nothing but birds or waves or the wind (at this point I'll even take the rooster that woke me up EVERY DAMN MORNING when I was in Aegina lmao). I'm planning on going on a day trip to Mycenae soon though so I'm very excited about that 😄

Tagging forth to @in-arlathan, @mogwaei, @tessa1972, @aymayzing, @inquisitoracorn, @tevivinter, @elveny, @pikapeppa, @petrowriting @peggy-sue-reads-a-book @juliafied, @vimlos, @gloriesunsung, @figsandphiltatos, @gwensparlour, @glimmerofgold, @sabino-sea, and so many more of my mutuals that I'm actually too shy to tag here. But seriously if you're reading this and it looks fun please do it and tag me, I'm nosy and I want to know everything about you LOL

#get to know me #tag meme #jo rambles

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stardropcritter · 8 days

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Welcome to the Valley~

I kept getting distracted instead of making a small summary post for Iris' playthrough, but I want to put it up here before I play too far lol. I've been working on some sketches for her, but please enjoy the WIPS since I keep getting distracted. During the first years, her main circle of friends is: Shiro, Yuuma, Philip, Sebastian, Sam, Leah, Hayley, Alex Kiarra, & Shane :)

The bus ride was rather exausting, but after Lewis and Robin showed her to the new farm, Iris was very pleased to have the afternoon to get settled. She probably spent most of the first week just clearing the land around the farmhouse, and enough to clear a small path towards the town, and the mountains, as well as one around her coop so she doesn't lose track of the chicks when they are out.

She ran into Alex pretty quickly, probably on the second or third day. He found her petting Dusty, chatting to the good boy. Iris isn't a super sporty person, but lots of classmates and coworkers in Zuzu were big gridball fans so she knows enough of it. She feels like Alex is a bit full of himself, but a good guy. They click well enough.

The meeting with Abigail and her family was not the best, she was a bit on edge that morning, and Abby came in swinging with the "It's a shame you moved here" welcome line. Pierre was also pushing the salesman front quite hard, and Iris can't stand that.

She met Phillip, Yuuma, and Shiro very briefly on a day when they were in Pelican Town for their therapy. It was just a short conversation, but she got along well with all of them.

It took her nearly two weeks to get the courage to take the cable cars up to the ridge. The first ride she ended up having a panic attack, during the afternoon. A tourist who was taking the car along with her ran to get Lenny and Paula while Iris struggled to get to her feet and get her heart and breathing under control. Phillip, Shiro, and Yuuma happened to be coming back on the next car, and Phillip was quick to help talk her through the attack. Girl was mortified, but super appreciative when they all walked her to the hotel for a bit.

Since then, she would say hi to them whenever she saw them in town. She didn't go back to the ridge for another 2 weeks though.

When she learned that Yuuma often stopped at Pierre's on his own to do grocery shopping she's determined to give him a hand. She shifts her schedule around a little bit so that she has one day she can spend up at the ridge. She offers to help Yuuma carry the groceries up. He does initially say it's ok and he doesnt want to cause trouble for her, but she tells him he would actually be helping her- having a goal/chore that takes her up on a regular basis can help her get over her fears. Plus, she'd feel safer if he keeps her company. He says ok after that. I headcanon Yuuma as like 8 years old or so? I don't remember if we ever get any closer age.

Throughout the first year she becomes very close with Shiro, Philip and Yuuma. Yuuma especially starts to see her as a sort of older sister, feels comfortable asking her for help, and sometimes asks to visit her farm. Iris also fully adopts Yuuma, and does her best to lessen the workload for him.

She beat Abigail at the egg hunt during the first year and Abigail was wildly bitter about it, not helping. These two just do not get along.

It doesn't help when Abigail walks by Sam's and sees that Iris is hanging out on the lawn in front of his places with both Sam and Sebastian (Abigail is crushing hard on Seb, and is a wee possesive)

Nearly missed the summer Luau, she was completely lost in finishing a new book that Sebastian had just lent her. They share similar tastes in what they like reading, and this along with music is the main building point of their friendship.

Her friends and some of their fam start picking up on her habit of making little cards or bookmarks or small trinkets with pressed flowers and leaving them around as surprise gifts for them. Granny Evelyn in particular loves getting these, and Iris is happy to help her out with the garden beds around town from time to time. Alex finds this mega endearing.

Seb, Sam, and Iris continue the Solarian Chronicles campaign, and Victor and Sophia join them later in the year. The group begins to become a bit closer due to this. Abi joins from time to time, but seems to never quite feel comfortable or fit the party much.

She gets along well with Shane, and they're close-ish but she was very surprised and very worried when she found just how bad his mental health is. She makes a concsious effort to check in on him more often, and they somtimes have evenings where she brings a book and reads at the ranch while he helps Marnie, and they chat on and off. Shane still delivers feed and other things from Marnie's to her farm, and has definitely found her asleep on the floor of the coop with a book in her lap, and a chicken too, on more than one occasion. Maybe he thinks thats cute, but you won't be hearing him admit it.

Fall, um.... June Arrived. And Iris might be in trouble y'all.

She loves listening to him play the piano at the Ridgeside hotel, and they get along very well. He's even more of a coffee nerd than she is, which was surprising. So when they had a little breakfast hangout/date and he was nerding out about coffee, no, she wasn't bored at all. Was that a blush? maybe.

and holycrapJunewhat That dialogue killed me- Iris was trying to be a silly flirt and I feel like June absolutely called her bluff and left her a tomato-faced mess. It's a shame he's only here for half of the year, she'd love to get to know him better.

She continues to to become closer with Shiro, Phillip and Yuuma. (Yuuma was the first villager i got full hearts with). She occasionally helps them with the physio as well, and some minor chores at the Kobayashi house. It's a nice way to spend time with them and chat, and for the first few months while she didn't have a kitchen, it was a good excuse to use theirs and make them dinner sometimes.

Dinner at the Legame house also becomes somewhat of a frequent occasion- She likes to help out Kiarra, and they always end up chatting late into the night. Iris loves listeining to all of Kiarra's wild stories with Joja sabotage and boycotts. Anton also grows to really enjoy her company, but his heart belongs to Paula.

As we turn to spring of Year 2, the layout of the farm is looking like this! She keeps a steady turnaround of coffee and tea, two grape varieties and honey. She makes wine and jam as well and only a small-ish selection of seasonal crops. She grows flowers near her house, and is working on renovating the little guest cabin close to the shipping box. And we got our first cow!

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv farmer #sdv art #sdv farmer oc thoughts #farmer Iris

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annabethisterrified · 1 year

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Hi! Uh, I've been trying to write a book this year, but I barely have any written down- and most of what I know about it is just in my head

So I was just wondering how you were able to write not one, but two books?? It's totally ok if you don't have time to answer, but I just wanted to ask 😅

Hey! Well, honestly, having it "in your head" is a huge part so kudos to you! Sounds like you have an idea of how things will play out, which is always a major hurdle to overcome!

The writing-it-down part is definitely hard, so I empathize lol! Writing advice is never one-size-fits-all, but for me personally, the two things that I have to do in order to power through a rough draft are:

Having an outline! Some writers don't need them; I very much do. I usually start with a "Sparknotes" level of detail, something that broadly covers the major things that have to happen. Then as I go along, I might outline the upcoming scenes in more detail so I know what has to happen when. It's helpful for me to have a roadmap, because to me there's no worse feeling than staring at the blank screen/page and not having a clue what to do next. That feeling sucks! So if you catch yourself in it, literally do something else-- go for a walk, do chores, listen to music, etc.,-- and think about the possibilities while you're at it. Just sitting and staring doesn't always magically make the ideas happen.

Write a little bit, but every day! For me, I dub this my "three sentence rule". I set an unimaginably low bar for myself to reach daily when I'm working on a first draft, because sitting down and getting started is both the most difficult and most critical part of finishing projects. More often than not, once I write my mandatory three sentences I'll find that I actually want to continue. Sometimes, I don't. I'm tired, bored, stressed, or want to do other things. And that's fine! I know I've at least moved the story incrementally forward and stayed in the story's "headspace" enough that it won't be jarring to return to for the next session.

I hope one or both of those help! But yeah, unfortunately there's really not a way around the difficulty, but it's the type of difficulty that at least will make you feel FANTASTIC once you're on the other side of it! Getting to the end of a draft -- no matter how rough you think it is -- is the one and only thing you can do in order to fix the story how you like it and take future steps toward it becoming a book. It's hard, but very worth it! Best of luck!

#ask #writing

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lostloveletters · 2 months

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Hi Battie! I was wondering how you get inspo for your OCs? Like how do you come up with them and everything? If you’re ok with sharing that ofc!! Love your writing💖

Thank you so much! This means a lot to me considering I'm relatively new to making OCs, but people have been really supportive, so I appreciate it more than I can coherently express. I was definitely hesitant to make any, but I think starting with The Godfather helped because it's not a very big, active fandom to begin with, and there isn't a huge readerbase for OC fics on top of that, so it wasn't like I was jumping into a fandom with a lot of eyes on what I was doing or worrying too much about comparison with other writers.

It's honestly so varied! I guess I’ll discuss Gloria (The Godfather) and Holly and Woody (Masters of the Air). I can’t say I make OCs with the intention of them being paired with a specific character. I’ll go into it more under the cut, but Holly and Woody definitely had minds of their own when it came to that lol.

I find it helpful to write short “scenario” type of fics for my own personal reference (I use the term fic loosely because these end up being a mix of actual story and bullet points and chunks of dialogue) to figure out a character’s background and personality. Also making Pinterest boards and playlists are a huge part of the creative process for me! If I get an idea for an OC, I’ll make a private board for them and start adding stuff and see how their vibe comes together over time. Character spreadsheets or question lists (outside of ask games) feel like such a chore to me, so those aren’t part of my process at all.

Gloria

I wasn’t originally planning for Bruised Fruit to become a longfic, but I've always had "Gloria," the little Sicilian-American troublemaker she is, in some shape or form, but she was a lot of vague ideas and a Pinterest board that I never did anything with until I threw her into Bruised Fruit. What’s now the first chapter was just going to be an experimental one-shot because I had that specific idea. I left the ending open to be continued. I still had inspiration, and a few people expressed interest, so from there I kind of had to actually flesh out Gloria to who she was beyond that first chapter.

Holly

Miss Thing went through like 3 names and 2 backstories before I settled on the Holly Dean we have now. I actually started out thinking she was going to be paired with Buck! I started writing Damn Yankees as some background on Holly and Bucky’s friendship because he was going to play matchmaker for her and Buck. Literally so much changed from when I started writing that fic to when I finished. I had two versions of it that I’d switch back and forth between before finally settling on what I posted. As y’all can tell she went way off track the planned track, but I love where she ended up!

Woody

*Ray Liotta in Goodfellas voice* As far back as I can remember, I always knew I wanted to use Veronica Lake's look in So Proudly We Hail as the basis for an OC. Woody also changed a lot! There was always a past she was going to be running from, but the context of that changed from what I started with. I was kind of playing around with the idea of her being with Rosie, but I could never quite get their dynamic right as I began outlining. That’s when Holly kind of took over as my focus. Then as I’d go back to my messy as hell doc for Woody, I figured I’d focus on her friendship with Holly and see if anyone else came to mind in the meantime, and she and Brady just clicked.

#ask tag

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syms-things-5 · 1 year

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Alive & Well - Chapter Two

Part Three of ‘Fractured’

Part One can be found here and Part Two here

Synopsis: Continuing on a few months after the move to Maine, and starting with fresh eyes, Sarah and Chris are certainly making the most of their newfound freedom.

Warnings: Language, angsty, mildly NSFW, horny lol

Tags: Just following on from Part Two - thank you for the support :) @ppal3 @bookwormchick91 @redhairedfeistynerd @memoriesat30 @patzammit @before-we-get-started

CHAPTER TWO

Lately, Chris had developed something of a bad habit for hanging about in doorways.

Actually, let’s rephrase that: Chris had developed a bad habit for hanging about in doorways and staring. More specifically, staring at Sarah and more so than usual since he was already pretty well-versed in that custom. She had caught him and told him off on multiple occasions. He wasn’t sorry in the slightest

There was nothing he liked more than catching Sarah unawares while she was deep in her own little world and completely oblivious to her surroundings. Not while she was sleeping, mind, because he knew that freaked her out and truthfully, she didn’t believe him when he told her that she looked beautiful when she was asleep and not, as she eloquently put it, a dribbling mess. But rather he liked watching her when she was engrossed in reading a book, or super focussed watching the news on television, or finishing some menial house chore. Or simply just existing nearby. It really didn’t take much to bring out this side of him it would seem. He just loved being in the same vicinity as her.

Another thing that apparently worked for him, although admittedly this was more of a recent discovery of his, was when she wore her old pair of dungarees. These were dungarees he had managed to go several years without witnessing her in, it turned out. How had he managed to never be around when she had worn them before? In all the years he had known her? He’d seen her in sweatpants, a whole manner of hoodies, scrubs, smart, casual…but never these. Clearly, God had been punishing him for something along the way; what, he wasn’t sure, but he had decided he would be definitely making up for lost time.

He couldn’t quite put into words what the sight of her in her slightly distressed-looking black dungarees did to him exactly but stood where he was now, in the doorway of what was going to become an office or a library of some sort, watching her as she stretched up onto her tip-toes to reach the corner of the window with her paint-roller in hand, he was feeling practically feral.

She was humming a tune unrecognisable to him but he wasn’t paying particular attention to that part. It was more about the way the dungarees subtly pulled up around her waist to show off the perfect curve of her thighs and ass whenever she stretched just a little bit too hard.

Maybe it was a combination of all of the above; the stretching, the painting, and the humming along to something in her brain. It was probably all of the above. He couldn’t deny it; it was all undeniably working for him.

“Are you going to keep staring or are you going to come and help me with this?” She asked, rousing him from his new favourite hobby. He thought he had been subtle but evidently not.

“Is that a trick question? ‘Cos if you’ve giving me the option, I’m gonna keep staring, thanks.”

“Ha ha. C’mere, I need your long legs to reach this awkward bit.” She moved back from the window bay and held the small roller out towards him, not quite meeting his eyeline.

“I love it when you boss me around.” He playfully nudged her with his elbow but she didn’t bite. He pretended to pout at her, childishly, and again, she didn’t notice.

He rolled his eyes to himself and grudgingly took the roller from her hands. He asked her which spot she meant before trying to play the hero in vain hope she might start staring at his ass instead. It didn’t happen unfortunately and he sort of knew it wouldn’t.

She had been mithering about this final spare bedroom for days now and set about roughly figuring out a layout on her iPad the evening before, telling him the sooner they got it done, the sooner they could both get some valuable use out of the space. If Chris was going to get his way this afternoon, he would have to work much harder than this.

“You know, we don’t need to do this right now, yeh?” He suggested. “It’s not like we’ve got any visitors coming this week and even if we had, no one is gonna think any less of us just because one bedroom isn’t properly decorated.”

“It’s a mess, Chris. We’ve just dumped everything in here that doesn’t go anywhere else.” She scratched at the side of her head, unknowingly leaving a thin streak of white paint behind. He decided he wasn’t going to tell her about that just now.

“You know what I think about this space?” He paused his painting and backed up from the window to stand beside Sarah. He pretended to give it some serious thought but there wasn’t much else going on in his brain at this precise moment, dungerees be damned.

“We are not having some weird sex room…”

“I didn’t say anything about a sex room! Also, let’s not be hasty and rule anything out just yet, OK? I mean, we have plenty of space. One bedroom could easily be kept under secure lock and key and that people whisper about when they come to visit us.”

He winked at her but pulled back the brashness a little when he saw her expression grow increasingly unimpressed.

“Why are you stressing about this room anyway?” He sighed in defeat. “You’ve been thinking about it constantly these last few days and it’s really no big deal, honey. We have lots of time and I can think of a hundred better ways of spending it today.”

“I’m not stressing about it.” She protested and, yet again, completely glossed over his mild flirting. “And it’s not stress exactly. It’s just annoying me is all. When it’s done, it’s done and we can forget all about it. I promise.”

He placed the roller down in the paint tray placed precariously on the end of a chair she had carried up the stairs from the dining room.

“Then tell me why this is annoying you so much?” He placed his hands on her shoulders, more serious this time in the hope she might feel like letting him in to whatever was going on inside her brain today. She had been far too quiet and short with him and it was starting to unnerve him a little bit.

He could tell she was trying to find the right words but likely, she didn’t particularly want to have this conversation with him right at this moment. She herself wasn’t actually sure why she was getting worked up over a random space that, he was right, they didn’t need to worry about right this second. She had hoped he might drop the conversation if she could gear him up into helping her finish the first layer of painting, though. It was approaching 5pm and if they finished it soon, they could figure out dinner and then he would likely forget all mentions of stress if a big bowl of pasta was placed in front of him.

“It’s all good.” She shrugged as casually as she could manage and made a move to take the roller back from his grasp. “I just want to get it done so it’s done.”

She should probably have known that Chris would do what he did next.

Just as her fingers were about to reconnect with the handle, and quicker than she could react to, Chris grabbed the end of the roller and twisted it in his hand. Before Sarah had even registered what had happened, she saw it held up high behind his head, just out of her reach. A couple of drops of paint had splattered the wall behind him.

“Ah!” Chris exclaimed, yanking the brush even further away from her hands as she made a lame attempt to reach for it. “If you want it back, you know what you have to do.”

He spoke defiantly, confidently, so sure was he that a playful wind-up was in order. It might make her react more towards him than whatever this current behaviour was, he thought. Maybe she could take it out on him instead. The prospect of that thought alone was mouth-watering.

“What the f…?! Chris!” She cried out, trying hard to mask the giggle threatening to leave her mouth. “C’mon, just gimme the roller.”

“No.”

“You’re being a dick.”

“I know. You’ve always known I’ve been like this and you’ve found it cute up ‘til now.” He retorted, yet more swagger coming to the fore. He was getting on her nerves now, he could tell, but he was also distracting her and that was the aim of the game.

“I wouldn’t say ‘cute’ exactly.” She responded, her hands finding her hips.

“Well, I am extremely cute, you’ve said so yourself, and what’s more is that you love me for it.”

She rolled her eyes and gently pointed a finger against his chest in a more playful move. Two could play at this game, she thought.

He took a further step backwards, the roller still stretched out behind him in anticipation of her next move, his eyes as wide as she had ever seen them before.

“Stop trying to make me laugh, OK? I’m in a mood.” She conceded.

“I know you are and I’m sorry, honey. One kiss and then I promise I’ll be quiet and help you finish painting.” He dropped his arm down to his side and pretended to zip his lips closed. He felt relieved when she chuckled at him again. Honestly, he thought his joking around could have gone either way at this point. “How does that sound? You have to admit, that’s a fair swap.”

“I’m not sure I want you helping me now.” She said, playfully.

“That’s also fair but have I at least succeeded in making you less in a mood with this room?”

“And more in a mood with you? Yes, one hundred per cent.” She rolled her eyes at him again.

“Cool.” He seemed remarkably proud of himself all things considered. “Do you wanna, maybe, be in a mood with me in the shower instead?”

“I don’t need a shower.”

“Yeh, you might wanna go check the mirror about that.” He pointed the roller towards the side of her head.

Helping her through her confusion, he pulled out a loose piece of hair from her ponytail and watched as she tried her best to focus her eyes on where she could see the paint-stained ends.

“Oh shit, is it everywhere?!”

She grabbed for the scrunchie and let the rest of her ponytail out. Long hair fanned over her shoulders and face and quite honestly, this addition to her look wasn’t exactly helping to alleviate his feelings of horniness. It all seemed to be happening in slow motion in his mind. He watched as she grabbed at the rest of her hair, fanning several strands apart between her fingers as she tried to assess the damage.

“No, it’s not that bad.” He spoke lowly, inching a little towards her. “But you are probably going to need a second pair of hands. Just to make sure you get it all out.”

Any other time when she was feeling less anxious, she likely would have fallen for this flirtation quite willingly but she felt less than sexy in this specific moment. She felt tired and grumpy and probably hormonal. And she didn’t much fancy a shower either. She hadn’t even clocked the fault of her dungarees yet.

She kept separating bits of her hair between her fingers, growing more and more disappointed in her clumsiness. She didn’t notice Chris lifting up the paint roller again until it was almost too late.

“What are you doing?!” She yelled out as she spied him in her peripheral vision, posing the roller just by the side of his face.

“Stop me. You know what to do.” He asserts, his eyes wider than she had seen before. “I know what you’re doing. You’re turning a small thing into a big thing and it’s not gonna get you anywhere. Believe me, I know. So, we’re gonna work through this together ‘cos we’re grown-ups and I love you so you either let me help you wind down whatever this is or I’m rolling this all over my face and then I’ll have to shave the beard off.”

If Chris only knew how much she loved his beard, how she would do almost anything to make sure he never shaved ever again, he could make life a hell of a lot easier for himself when he was trying it on with her. She was genuinely surprised he hadn’t worked it out yet unless he had and he was saving that nugget of information for another time. It wouldn’t surprise her at this point in their relationship. He was full of surprises and she was only approximately half glad about that “skill”.

“I don’t know what getting me in the shower is going to accomplish.”

He smirked at her as though he was hiding a secret he wasn’t going to let her in on just yet.

“Well, let’s try it and see.”

“I still blame you for that.”

“How is that my fault? I was merely working out and you couldn’t help yourself.”

Chris massaged the back of her head, her soapy hair wrapped between his fingers. He’d been at this for about fifteen minutes now and while it wasn’t doing much to save the environment, Sarah was grateful for the pleasant and comforting distraction. He had always been unfairly good with his hands.

“Well…” She started, sighing again at the feeling. “How was I gonna reject you? You had the puppy eyes and everything.”

He pulled his fingers from her hair and the brief loss of pleasant contact was soon replaced by his warm arms wrapping around her waist. She leaned her head to one side as he placed a feather-like kiss to her shoulder.

“I have the puppy eyes now, Bernette, but you’re not taking the bait.”

“You got me in the shower, didn’t you?”

“That was only, like, the first part of my plan.”

She wasn’t sure if it was the effect of the steam inside their shower enclosure, or the sweet smell of coconut from her shampoo, or a combination of both but her skin suddenly felt ten degrees hotter. His soft kisses moved slowly up the side of her neck until she felt his lips linger behind her ear, a well-known place he knew never failed to turn her on.

He felt her breath hitch as his hands moved lower and lower across the soft skin of her tummy, until his fingers slowly met the red-hot skin between her thighs. She shuddered a little in his grasp as she felt his long fingers work her over, running them softly between her wet lips, his middle finger occasionally mounting the pressure just so so he could feel her tense a little more in his arms, hear her sigh a little more through the spray of hot water and steam, and relax her just right so she could forget whatever shit had been going on inside her brain today.

It never failed to work and he was proud of that fact. He was proud that he knew her better than anyone else, knew her body better than anyone else, and knew just what to do to calm her down and bring her back to him again.

Her back pushed firmly against his chest as he kept going, deliberate with each stroke of his fingers as he waited for the tell-tale sign that she was getting closer, when her hand reached out to grip his and hold it still.

She steadied her breathing and, briefly confused, he eased off his touch. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen next as, by his understanding, she felt pretty close to her end but he waited for her to calm some more and possibly move his hand again, taking control. Instead, his heart dropped a bit when he felt her try to turn in his arms. He reluctantly loosened his grip and allowed her to move so she was facing him again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly.

“Mmm…” she sighed contently.

He opened his eyes to find hers still closed as their lips slowly parted just millimeters from each other.

“Why did you stop me?” he whispered, the heat from his breath fanning over her face.

Her eyes opened and he watched them slowly focus on him. He pressed a kiss to her forehead so she didn’t think he was pushing for an answer, but he felt a bit weird. Weird? No, that seemed too far-fetched. But something was wrong.

“I’m good.” She replied, still apparently blissful.

“But you didn’t…”

“I know. It’s OK.”

She kissed him again and he let her but he would be lying to himself if he thought he was anything other than convinced by her sudden about-turn. It didn’t help that he could now feel the creeping but mild dissatisfaction in his chest.

“Do you wanna maybe try something else?” He asked, again trying to mask any sense of concern from his voice or his face.

She still had a slightly blissed-out look on her cheeks as evidenced by the blush covering her skin. It felt hot to the touch as he spread his fingers over her lower back, crossing his arms to avoid her moving away from him.

“No, I’m good. Honest.”

That’s a maybe, but he wasn’t.

“I just don’t think it’s gonna happen right now. Sorry.” She continued as patiently as she could, trying to sound like it wasn’t a big deal when she knew it likely would be for him.

When has he ever not made her cum? It’s like a given at this point, he knows her that well. He knows when something isn’t working and he knows when to change it up. It’s just how he is, so proud is he of knowing her in the most intimate of ways. But she desperately didn’t want him to worry about it or question her about it. It just wasn’t to be at this time. She was probably just a little too tightly wound from earlier in the day and that was on her, not him.

She moved her hands away from his shoulders and ran them over her wet hair to remove the last remnants of her shampoo. He watched her as she leaned her head back under the spray and smoothed her hair out to their ends, then make eye contact with him again, her sweet smile making a welcome appearance.

“Why don’t I start dinner, hmm?” She rubbed her hands over his shoulder again in a soothing motion, and was grateful for his returning smile.

“Sure.” He lied. “I’ll just finish up in here.”

“Oh, sorry, do you want me to…?”

“No, no, not that. I just mean, I need to get rid of the coconut smell.” He chuckled. “I love it on you but I have a manly reputation to maintain and sweet tropical smells might not cut it.”

She was thankful for the out as she stepped to his side and vacated the stall. A fluffy white towel lay on the wicker basket just in front of her and she quickly wrapped it around her body, securing it with a small fold at the top.

She could just about make him out in the shower as she made to leave the bathroom. The steam gave tempting glimpses of his sculpted form and not for the first time that day did she feel like an absolute idiot.

#chris evans fic #evans fic #fanfiction #alive & well #fractured #chris evans x original female character #chris evans #chris evans au #chris fanfic #Sarah Bernette #au #fanfic

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ladyswillmart · 1 year

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🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

🎀 A compliment! I think my writing has a lot of heart. ❤ I've accepted and even embraced the fact that I'm a niche writer, so when I do write something it's always a labor of love! Sometimes that's all I'm working off: Fumes. Fumes of Love.

Hmm, that sounds a little weird. Next question!

🎙️ I have to admit, I have no idea what a pod-fic is! I've never heard this term before, is it like a recorded narration, audio drama kinda thing (like Big Finish)? If so, I've had people narrate my stories before and it was a lovely experience. I think for this I might have to go with my Portal compilation just because I want to hear how a sound crew might handle some of the voices or sound effects. LOL

🤲 I always have fun when I write. Really! It's sometimes a chore to actually get myself started (hooray executive dysfunction!) but when I do it's always a good time. I love finding the perfect word, the perfect cadence, when sentences start to become more like lyrics, and when those random little details you note in the beginning for no particular reason very mysteriously end up tying the whole thing together in the end. Isn't that the best??? I always have a blast writing and I hope my readers also have fun reading my stuff. I'm like Kathie Lee on a Carnival cruise!

Also my writing is sometimes a very good excuse for me to very sneakily sneak in some reference to some obscure bit of personal nostalgia for no other reason than self-indulgence!

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spookyscribe · 1 year

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As usual, I won’t actually finish anything for the Inklings Challenge in time. Maybe one day I will. Lol. But here’s a snippet of the Goblin Market fairy tale Winter’s Blight mashup I was working on

...those simple, joyful days ended when Mother disappeared into the woods one night. Though Father searched for her for seven days and nights, the only thing he returned with was the bright yellow scarf she always wore. As the sun had set on the brother’s carefree summer childhood, so too did the warmth leave the hunter’s heart.

Leaving the brothers at home to tend to the house and complete their chores, Father took to the woods to hunt from dusk till dawn every night, though he only ever brought back enough meat to last the day. Throughout the day, he slept or prepared for the next hunt, leaving the boys to fend for themselves. The chores were arduous, but at least the brothers were together.

However, when Brishen turned fifteen, Father took the boy aside and told him firmly, “If you wish to become a skilled hunter like me, we will find the beast that claimed your mother and kill him.”

“A beast?” Brishen’s voice was low with awe. “What beast?”

“These woods may look inviting with their leaves of gold and saplings green, but I have seen beneath its dappled glamor. Fae lurk in the shadows and hidden places. One of those creatures took your mother to their home under the hill, and I have been hunting them and their ilk ever since.”

Brishen had hunted before, but this was different from stalking deer and snaring rabbits. Being a brave lad, he swallowed his fear and asked, “When do we start?”

“We’ll begin your training at once.”

He hesitated. “What about Jal? Will he join us?”

“Listen to me well,” Father said. “The night your mother vanished, a faery had come seeking your brother. The creature hunts him still, so he must never enter the faery woods.”

From his perch on the loft above, Jal stifled a gasp. He had been listening to their conversation. His stomach soured as he pondered it, but his mind could not make sense of it.

“Why does the beast want Jal?” Brishen asked.

“The reason does not matter.” Father’s stern tone discouraged argument. “Your brother will remain safe in the cottage while we hunt from dusk till dawn as long as he does not leave.”

“What about in the waking hours? I won’t leave him to fend for himself,” Brishen stated firmly.

“Then from dawn until dusk he is your charge.”

“I will not let either of you down.”

So, that night, after Jal pretended to fall asleep, Brishen left with his father into the deep, dark woods at dusk. They continued to do so every night for weeks. Before he sent his brother off to bed, Brishen would tell him, “Sleep well, little brother. I will see you again at dawn.”...

#my writing #I had a whole outline written up and everything but life and family stuff came first

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pistachsoul · 4 months

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23rd year (Late entry)

My 23rd year...was such an interesting year. I have so much to share I don't know where to start. This year, I celebrated my birthday with someone special. I am now in a relationship with Elmer. The story of how we became a couple was weird, funny, and unexpected. At the same time, this year, we lost two family members on my mother's side; Inang and Tito Sebring. Earlier this year, while I was finishing my internship, Inang left this world. What haunts me every day is that I was beside Inang when she left. We were dressing her up, and feeding her through her tube when I realized she had already stopped breathing. Part of me was relieved, because it was so difficult watching her get weaker day by day, and sad because even though we spent such a short time together, I no longer have a grandmother. Her passing was a huge wake-up call that time truly is, fleeting. Tito Sebring's passing was very sudden too. All I wish is that they are now in a better place, a peaceful place. A few people may have left, but this was the year I also met a lot of people, and became acquainted with them. I would never imagine myself surrounding myself with people who are not part of my circle. This was all thanks to Elmer. If I were to compare my differences with Elmer, is that he is such an extrovert. He has too many LOL. Who knew I'd actually fall for a guy who would make me laugh every day and cook yummy food for me. He is now my best friend and companion. He is talented, funny, sensitive, and has a big heart. This year, I also met his family. I can't say much about them, because I am not that close with them. However, all I can say is, that Koala, his younger sister, is a nice little girl whom I want to spend more time with. This year my feasibility group closed the chapter on CasSavory Express. It was such a rollercoaster ride, and this was the best group I've worked with in my entire college experience. All I want is to wish the best for my group members and be successful in the future. In terms of family relationships, I grew more distant with my parents. Not because we were always fighting, I just came to realize that they make stupid decisions and do not talk to me whenever something happens like my mom being admitted to the hospital. Hindi naman first time na malalaman ko sa ibang tao na na-hospital yung mommy ko, pero I guess they just don't want us to know or even bothered how Thea and I will feel LOL. I am also already at that age where I just ran out of energy to rant and rave, or even show my frustrations to my family. Chris is okay, he's a growing boy and went through a character development. However, Thea got worse. She is sick in the brain. I also ran out of patience because she kept on lying to me about her whereabouts, her smoking habit, and such. Just so sick and tired of it. Honestly, I still don't know what to do about her. God help her. Well, aside from the sad fact that I feel the absence of my family, I was given a work opportunity and I truly, can't wait to start working. Because and dami dami dami kong kailangan na gawin pero wala lang pera. For 2024, I wish to be spiritually closer to God. Because I know for 2023, I have not been practising my religion. Heck even going to church seems like a chore. I wish to remove that mindset. I will be graduating soon, and I also wish that for 2024 I will land on a sweet sweet job opportunity in Singapore, with an acceptable salary offer. THIS IS IMPORTANT. I am about to become a FULL-FLEDGED ADULT. How exciting. 2024 will be an interesting year. I hope. Please make it exciting God. I will be in God's guidance. Happy New Year! xoxo, E.J.

#journal

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calamityandme · 9 months

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Dear diary (lol),

Today has been very good. I got to sleep in finally. I woke up at 11:15 and had a brief moment of, “oh shit, can I do that?” but snapped out of it.

I made coffee and showed Danny how I like my coffee so he can make me some hahaha. After drinking a cup of strong café bustelo I started working on the house. Sundays are my cleaning days.

I started with arguably one of the hardest chores today, something I’ve been wanting to do for a while since I’m preparing for our families to visit the house later this month; vacuuming out the air conditioner grates.

It hadn’t been cleaned probably since we’ve moved here, over four years ago. Some people would be mortified by me saying that, others would probably question why I’m cleaning a rental that hardcore. I’m doing it now, that’s what matters. Not that Danny’s parents are going to come over and immediately look at my grates. I worry that little things like that are secretly making the house smell bad.

While cleaning the grates i had to empty the shop vac out multiple times because it kept getting stuck with thick wads of dark gray dust and fibers. I also found what I think was a molded McDonald’s French fry. I was actually amazed because I’ve never seen a molded McDonald’s fry before. I wondered how fucking long that fry had been in that grate before fate decided I would obsess over cleaning something long enough to eventually do it.

After the grates I vacuumed the inside of the couch, vacuumed the living room twice as well as the kitchen, bathroom and second bedroom. I mopped the kitchen, bathroom and second bedroom. I didn’t want to bother with our room this time (trying to convince myself that’s fine). Then I tidied the living room and kitchen, gathered all the trash, did two loads of laundry, cleaned the bathroom and filled the essential oil diffusers. Changed both litter boxes and replaced with fresh litter. Danny did some more dishes also which I appreciate.

It’s a small thing, but I also moved a succulent onto our coffee table in the living room. I think it makes the house look nice. We have a lot of plants but most of them are on the porch during the summer and the rest are next to the best windows in the house for light.

I’m trying really hard to make the house smell alright. Not that I think it reeks right now. I just know people become smell blind when they live in a home for a while. I don’t want my mom to come over and think, “smells like weed and old produce,” y’know?

Now that I’m pretty much done with cleaning for the day I’m kind of not sure what to do. I’m trying to remember desires that are not productive/cleaning related.

I thought about baking earlier but now my energy is running out. It’s almost 7 PM and my body is slowing down. I might sort laundry, maybe watch a show and play the Switch. Take a bath. I don’t know.

I finished my Graveyard Book. It was a really good book. I really enjoyed listening to Neil Gaiman’s narration. I wish Bod and Scarlet could have stayed friends, but I imagine that after Nobody traveled out of the cemetery he found a good life with people to spend time with.

Now I’m starting a new audiobook. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. So far I’m hooked. I started listening to it today and I’m already 25% done with it (almost listened to three hours just while cleaning). I like the storytelling in this book, the gay tension and the Greek influences.

Tomorrow I’m going to try to not do much. That’s what I try to do when I don’t work on Mondays anyway. I have to schedule down days often for myself, otherwise I will keep going until I breakdown. My fuse is so much shorter than it used to be, I used to tolerate so much more. I just have to have time to lay in bed or stare at the wall and exist. It recharges me so I can do what I need to throughout the week.

I hope anyone reading this has had a good weekend 🩵

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robbydelosangeles · 1 year

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A Subtle College Life in SPUP

Hey there! It's me again😁 the most handsome gentleman in the Psychology Department😉. It's been a long time since I posted here, I have been busy living my life lately. Today, in this sacred 21st century thingy called blog, I am going to be talking about what it is like to be a Paulinian college student🤩. This will take a long time, so if you are interested, get yourself a cup of hot coffee - or tea, whatever you prefer- sit back, relax, and join me as we go on a journey of a Paulinian student's life.

Are you ready? All righty then, let's go!

St. Paul University Philippines, a school known for their magnificent infrastructures, Christ-centeredness, aesthetic gardens, and of course, slippery tiles😂. Too bad my college journey did not start there. Nope. It was pandemic back then so my college journey started in an app. A lot of grown-ups would think, "Oh that's great, your college life would be easy since it will all be done online for a while. You'll be at home, you don't have to go outside, you won't be spending money, you kids should get through this with ease!"

Yeah, right😐.

I guess when it comes to learning and academics, some things will just not escape you. And those are hardships, struggles...and math. Seriously, I thought this course won't have any math subjects LOL. But anyway, now that we are growing up, life won't get easier from there. Even though it was flexible learning, we still get to deal with too many house chores, too many requirements, deadlines, quizzes, and who said we won't be spending any money?🙄

Nevertheless, all of this hardships and conflicts have shaped me into the best of who I am. Truth is, I was a slacker at the beginning, but because of the pressure, I got up my feet and started working harder than before. And I am soooo thankful for choosing to be a better student.

During my first year, I was very shy about making new friends. But I'm glad that my friends are wise, hard-workers, logical thinkers, and full of good influence. Well, kind of🙊. LOL Now that face-to- face class is finally back, I became closer to them than online.

Speaking of face-to-face, during the first days of third year, one of my classmates told me "You know, you look so much thinner online. You're actually chubbier in person." And here is how I reacted:

Well, it's true, I will admit it. I actually got too carried away with my laziness and eating too much that I gained so much fat. I got my interest back on weightlifting at the beginning of year of 2022. My progress was actually better than before. I can lift heavier weights now, my physique is getting toned, and even though my body weight was actually getting heavy (it's because of the muscles😎) my clothes are starting to fit better.

The issue was, because my top priority was my academics, I barely even have time to do a set of push ups. And with that, I adjusted my priorities. At first, I must finish all of my academic related requirements that must be done. And when I finally have a free time, only then will I go back to lifting heavy weights. And since then, with my diet on track of course, the balance between my favorite hobby and my academics are doing very well.

That's one of the life changing lesson that I have learned and will forever apply it till my last breath. Know what you want and what you need, set your priorities straight, and just flipping do it. You are probably thinking, "Oh wow, Robby, you prioritize your study and you go to the gym? That is s alpha of you😍". I don't really like that term to be labelled at me😂. An alpha is more of dominant type of person, the one who has the ability to lead and influence people.

Throughout my college life, I have become a leader of a group more than once. And the first time I ever became a leader, I was a hot head. Like if one of my groupmates won't do their work on time I would rant the heck out of them in our own group chat. 😂

But hey, that was back then, now I actually learn to become better with leading and influence people. When it comes to being a leader, logical thinking comes first, empathy comes second, emotions come last in silence. In other words, be stoic.

A lot of unexpected conflicts will come, especially when a lot of responsibilities are passed on to you. And no matter what, we must learn to endure and cope our emotions in silence, and never let them affect the way you think and the way you act. So always be logical with the way you think. Speaking of that, the best thing about college life is that my mindset have been shifted. Almost as if my brain was callused. The thing is, whenever I feel anxious or afraid of something, I face it. One of my oldest enemies is my anxiety. Whenever I feel like butterflies are going crazy in my stomach, I took a deep breath and just go. That is why I joined and volunteer whenever I get a chance to do so, such as performing along with the mob dancers, singing in a chorale, and speaking in front of a class.

These are some of the lessons that I have learned living as a college student in St. Paul University Philippines. If I could go back in time to meet my younger self who said "I can't wait to be a college student, it must be exciting", I'd go back and slap him on the face. LOL

All jokes aside, I hope that my sharing have entertained you, and I also hope that you learn something valuable because every thought that I have said, every lessons, are all based on my experience as a college student.

With that, thank you so much for your time and have a great weekend💖

PEACE✌

#blog post #college #life

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inks-books · 1 year

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5, 9 and 15 for the writblr asks please x

5. What is your favorite book/story/poem you read this year?

@authorlaurawinter’s book The Curse of the Broken Shadows which is on Amazon and Kindle! I fell in love with Brela from the first sentence.

9. Create a meme or mood-board that captures your past writing-year!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd2Q6Fagemg

This video, playing o Fortuna instead, but I actually finished something and started two other projects xD

15. Time for shameless self-promotion! answer with a piece of writing you want others to see/read! (if you have nothing posted/published this year, any other year is fine too ^^)

Putting it below the cut because it’s long, but here’s a snippet from my first chapter of Love Triangle Gone Wrong. Someone please tell me what they think of Ethan lol He’s a handful and a half and I love him.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

The pretty blond girl sitting at the counter in front of Ethan fluttered her eyelashes at him in a flirtatious way. She was shapely, had perfectly manicured nails, and the sweater she was wearing clung to her in a very nice way that accentuated her breasts. Ethan could appreciate that much. In fact, a week ago he would have jumped all over that invitation in a heartbeat. Probably with a line like ‘I didn’t until I saw you’ or ‘I think I might have just become a believer’. But right now, his eyes drifted over to the redhead in the corner of the restaurant sullenly as he sighed with great tragedy.

“No,” he murmured, looking back down at the bar he was wiping down and continued his chore.

Harper, Ethan’s best friend and confidant since elementary, snorted behind him as he passed by with a bucket full of dishes he’d just bussed off a table where a family of five had left a mess.

“Ethan,” he said. “You just proclaimed last week you’d met your soulmate. And it was a girl you’d never laid eyes on before in your life. You usually don’t wait that long to get into anyone’s pants.”

Harper was a tall, lithe boy with strong shoulders and a dark brown skin. His hair was buzzed, and his eyes were bright and shining with mirth. Both of them had Native American blood in them and it showed strongly. He and Ethan had known each other for longer than they hadn’t known each other, and their friendship had only grown stronger over the years. Even with the constant teasing.

“Don’t you have some tables to take care of?” Ethan hissed, throwing his towel at Harper.

“You haven’t even taken the time to talk to the girl,” said Big Joe, the cook who looked at Ethan through the window that peered into the kitchen. His voice was deep and booming, but he tried his best to keep it low so as not to be overheard by the redhead. Big Joe was not only the tallest man for miles at six foot eight and four hundred pounds, he was the best cook this side of the tri-county area. He had a heart of gold and was the most gentle giant you would ever come across.

“There’s a reason for that,” Ethan said blandly, then added with a hiss, “And since when are you two so interested in my love life?”

“Since you quit sleeping around and started moping over the one that got away,” Harper replied. “Or rather, the one you’re too terrified to talk to even though you’re obviously crazy about her.” By now, the blond girl had left the bar, feeling rather ignored in this little drama, and the three of them were alone again. “Besides, didn’t you say you imprinted on her?” Harper whispered. “At least try talking to her!”

Ethan groaned at himself for having shared that tidbit the day it had happened. He’d been so enraptured in the euphoria of it all, he wanted to shout it from the rooftops. But the very next day his heart had been shattered into a million pieces and he’d been brought back down to earth with a crash and a fiery bang.

Being a werebeast wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

The bell on the front door tolled signaling someone had entered, and Ethan looked up as a blond male with long hair down to his shoulders pulled back in a low ponytail, entered the restaurant. He was broad shouldered and nearly six and a half feet tall, and was an imposing figure in more ways than one. He looked around the room for a moment before his eyes lit on the redhead typing away at her computer in the corner, and smiled broadly before joining her. His smile changed his features from threatening, to devastatingly handsome in seconds. It physically pained Ethan to see him smile at her like that. He wanted to throw Harper’s bucket of dishes on him and see if that gave him something to smile about.

Prick.

Ethan knew the man was a prick too. Wearing a cream colored turtleneck sweater and khakis? Who even dressed like that? Pricks dressed like that. Rich pricks too from the looks of it. He watched the blond greet the redhead.

“Hey sorry I’m late,” he was saying as he sat across from her in the booth.

“Rune,” the redhead drawled. “You’re always late. It’s a part of your nature. You’ll be late to your own funeral. Meanwhile I’m actually getting some work done.”

Rune frowned. “I thought you said you were taking it easy on the work during the pregnancy.”

“I said I’d take it easy, I didn’t say I’d stop working all together,” countered the redhead.

“Hope,” Rune complained. “You know how important this is.”

“Relax, I’ve got this,” Hope replied.

The rest of the conversation was lost on Ethan as Harper ran into him pointedly and put a couple of menus in his hand before giving him a significant look and glancing at the couple in the corner booth. Harper raised his eyebrows at Ethan one more time, and left silently to take care of his corner of the restaurant. Ethan took a few steadying breaths through his nose and plastered on his customer service smile, and marched his way over to the corner booth and slid the menus in front of them.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” he asked, looking at the redhead with a flirtatious smile. Okay. So he couldn’t completely kill ingrained habits so easily.

“I’ll have a sweet tea and she’ll have a water with lemon in it,” Rune answered for her.

Ethan flicked his eyes over to Rune and back to Hope as if to confirm.

Definitely a prick.

“I’ll have a diet coke,”’ Hope corrected. “And a water with lemon,” she added pointedly looking at Rune who rolled his eyes.

“You do that just to spite me, I know it,” Rune grumbled.

Hope blinked innocently and Ethan gave her a wink and a sly grin, moving off to get their order. The second he turned away from them into the mostly empty restaurant, he dropped the plastered smile and scowled across the room at Harper who made a motion of smacking himself in the forehead.

This was why his heart had been shattered. She was already with someone else and pregnant with his child. And every time Hope came in here, Rune wasn’t far behind her in arriving. It was like he was attached to her by the hip or a short leash. Whenever he tried to work up the courage to start a conversation with her, Rune would pop up and ruin the moment. How could he be around someone he’d imprinted on if she was busy making her own life and starting a family? It wasn’t fair to either of them for Ethan to try and worm his way between Hope and Rune. Wouldn’t be fair to the kid for that matter.

And yet Ethan still found himself arguing internally about how he could make this work. She’d just wandered into his life randomly in this small town where everyone pretty much knew everyone else (which was annoying when you were trying to get away with something and would have half the town gossiping about it the next day), and was a stranger to them all. He wanted to get to know her, learn her secrets.

But in a small town where everyone knew everyone else’s secrets, there were secrets still that everyone kept or pretended they knew nothing about. Because knowing meant acknowledging they were real. And something’s were better left to stories you told your children at night to keep them from wandering out past dusk.

Things that Ethan knew all too well about. Harper and Big Joe too, though, there were probably a few secrets of Ethan’s the other two didn’t know about. Could Hope accept the parts of him the rest of the town pretended not to know about? Or at least if they didn’t know, they looked the other way so they could keep themselves ignorant.

“Your face is going to stick like that if you don’t stop making that face,” Harper said, pushing his finger against the furrow in Ethan’s brow. Ethan’s face went slack with shock as he blinked at Harper. “Were you seriously so lost in thought you didn’t notice me talking to you this whole time?” Harper asked.

“He got it bad,” Big Joe said. “Why don’t you try talking to her while he runs to the bathroom?” he added, nodding as Rune got up and headed to the restroom.

Ethan perked up and quickly moved to get the glasses but Harper handed him the tray before he could register what he was holding.

“Overheard the prick order for her. His voice carries,” Harper explained.

Well perhaps Ethan wasn’t the only one who thought he was a prick. He grinned at his best friend who winked at him and told him to ‘Go get her.’ Ethan swiftly but carefully so as not to dump the drinks and ruin his chances, went over to the table to set the drinks down and leaned against the table with his hip.

“Anything else I can get for you?” he asked. “Appetizer, Entre, a date?”

“A what?” Hope asked, taken aback.

“You know, like the dried fruit?” Ethan smiled seamlessly.

Hope laughed. And god was it a beautiful sound. It was like a straight shot of adrenaline to Ethan’s system, his heart began racing, his palms began sweating, and he felt like he could soar through the sky like Superman. Which was ridiculous of course he didn’t have wings or superpowers that would allow him to fly. In fact, what he did have he wasn’t even sure was a power at all. Right now it was just a curse that was getting in between him and a normal life. But right now? Right now he was on top of the world and didn’t care. He’d made her laugh and that was a superpower in and of itself.

“What do you like on the menu?” Hope asked, placing her chin on her hand and watching him with smiling eyes.

Oh god. He knew the menu like the back of his hand. He’d tried everything on the menu and a few things not listed on there. He knew what he liked and disliked, what were the best choices to suggest to a customer and the safe choices that most everyone liked. He knew it like he knew his own name.

Which at that moment he couldn’t remember.

“Um,” he said, wracking his brains. He took the spare menu and took a seat opposite of her and scanned the contents as if trying to refresh his memory, but his brain was in panic mode and he suddenly couldn’t comprehend anything he was reading. He knew how to read. He knew the words on the page. He’d read them a billion times over and could quote the menu from start to finish. (Listen slow days were boring when you had no one to serve and nothing to do, and your boss wanted you to still be productive. You found ways to entertain yourself. Memorizing the menu faster than the other employees was the best way to make the boss happy and earn some extra cash for the bets placed.)

“You’re in my seat,” Rune said as Ethan blinked at the menu.

He looked up, and up again to find Rune’s eyes that bore down on him like a dangerous pair of emerald daggers, telling him to move without telling him to move.

“Finders keepers,” he blurted out, making Hope giggle.

Oh the look Rune cut Ethan was sharp as a shattered piece of glass. Or one of Big Joe’s kitchen knives. The man didn’t like a dull knife and would sharpen them himself every week to the point you could lay a hair on them and it would sever it.

“I was just helping her decide what the best item on the menu would be to try,” Ethan smiled, standing up from his seat - or rather, Rune’s seat - and suddenly his brain was working again. He could remember his name, he could remember the menu items he liked and hated and what was the best option to serve a new customer to get the full experience of the diner.

“And?” Rune sat down, looking at him expectantly. “What was the verdict?”

Ethan bit his tongue before listing off a few menu items that sounded pleasing, but The Prick dismissed them all, then ordered the country fried steak with white gravy and a side of steamed broccoli for Hope, and an order of the greasiest hamburger they had on the menu for himself.

“Is that accurate, ma’am?” Ethan checked with Hope before walking away and just assuming like The Prick.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Rune demanded. “I know what she likes.”

“Yeah, I’d like to knock you upside the head,” Hope replied under her breath, but then turned to Ethan with a polite smile. “That will be fine, thank you.”

Ethan gave a nod and turned to walk away, but heard Rune’s voice drift back towards him in a hushed tone.

“Rude ass.”

If Hope responded, he didn’t hear what she said, but Rune continued muttering under his breath as if arguing with her. When Ethan got back to the other side of the counter and put their orders in, Big Joe just shook his head sadly. Ethan gestured blatantly at the couple’s table where they had their heads bent over talking about something in low tones, paying them no attention, and pursed his lips. It was a gesture of ‘See what I have to work with?’ Big Jo just shook his head again disappointed. Ethan rolled his eyes.

Harper elbowed him in the side. “You got her to laugh,” he said to cheer Ethan up. “That’s an improvement.”

Sure, an improvement. From what not talking to her? Ethan guessed that was something. Still though his skin was beginning to itch with all the emotional rollercoaster-ing his insides had done in the last ten minutes. He needed to shift, but to do that in the middle of his work schedule could get him in trouble. But going too long without a shift could also get him in more trouble. A lot more trouble.

“After I serve them, I’m going for a run,” Ethan said under his breath to Harper.

Harper’s eyes darkened slightly.

“You good?” he asked. “Have you checked your blood sugar?”

“I just need to shift for a bit. I’ll be fine,” Ethan replied.

“Oh no,” Big Joe said. “Last time you got stuck like that. Eat something first and then you can go.”

“Okay dad,” Ethan complained with a sigh. He knew there really was no arguing when Big Joe put his foot down. Even though Ethan knew he was right, it didn’t make it any less annoying to be scolded like that when he was already in a bad mood. When Big Joe passed the food over to Ethan, he gave one last warning. “Okay! Okay. Just… I dunno. Make me a burger or something! Sheesh.”

“One burger, coming right up,” Big Joe smiled and winked. “Now go give ya girl her food.”

“She’s not my-“ he looked over his shoulder quickly to make sure she hadn’t heard his voice carry across the small room. Thankfully, she was engrossed in something on her computer as she muttered something to Rune, a serious look on her face. It was cute, Ethan realized. The little furrow her brow made put a dimple on her forehead that looked like a little frowny-face. He was pretty sure Rune wasn’t appreciating that as he shook his head to whatever she was saying.

“Ethan,” Harper said, nudging him. “Go, the food’s going to get cold.”

Blinking rapidly and remembering he was holding the food for their table, Ethan made his way around the counter and over to them again, announcing his presence a few feet away so they couldn’t accuse him of eavesdropping as he came up on them. People often got antsy if they thought you overheard their personal conversations. Especially when they were whispered to each other hastily with little furrows in their brow that made a frowny-face.

“We have your orders here,” he said with a flourish. “Do you need a refill on that Diet Coke, ma’am?”

“No,” Hope said with a bright smile, the crease in her forehead easing quite rapidly. She gave a little shake of the head as she spoke and added, “I’m going to work on my water and lemon now. But thank you!”

“My pleasure,” Ethan said. “Does everything look alright?”

“It looks delicious,” Hope said, reaching for her silverware.

“One thing doesn’t look right,” Rune interjected. “My glass is getting a little empty.”

“I’ll fill that right up,” Ethan said without missing a beat and reaching for the cup. “Anything else I can get you while I’m gone?”

“Ignore him,” Hope said apologetically. “He’s grumpy when he hasn’t eaten. And he takes it out on people around him.” She added the last bit pointedly, glaring at Rune.

“It’s perfectly fine,” Ethan lied. “I understand. I’ll get that drink for you.”

“Thank you,” Rune grumbled, then looked at Hope pointedly as if to say ‘See? I can be nice.’

It fell a little short in Ethan’s book.

Okay a lot short.

Prick.

Ethan turned around, the smile instantly falling from his face again as he gave Harper and Big Joe a glare. They quickly went back to what they were doing, pretending like they hadn’t just been staring in his direction and shirking their duties. Big Joe started whistling to appear more innocent, but it only sealed the fact he had been spying on Ethan. He only whistled when he felt guilty or was trying not to appear guilty.

Ethan looked into the security camera as if he were on The Office and made a face. If only there were someone at corporate watching just then to see it, he’d feel justified. He often would cast a look at the camera, though he wasn’t entirely sure which way it was pointing in it’s little black glass ball. But he often imagined it followed him around just to watch his antics throughout the day. At least it entertained him to pretend it did. Like his own little reality show.

#Love triangle gone wrong #ask game #writing meme #ask inks

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