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narrators-journal · 4 years ago

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Hello, I hope you are well, can I ask Yandere Akutagawa who probably hates you for how you make us feel? I may degrade you but get mad if someone else does

I hope this is good and is what you wanted! I'm a little rusty with Yandere content, so it might be a bit subtle here. I hope you enjoy nonetheless!

As a new low ranking mafia goon you had expected some harsh bullying from your coworkers, but that didn't mean you couldn't despise them for it, or have the occassional breakdown in the headquarters bathroom or something. That was actually how you'd met your first friend-like person in the organization, Higuchi had found you fighting to not cry in the bathroom one day, and instead of belittling you for the moment of weakness, she gave you a paper towel to dab the tears from your (s/c) cheeks and assured you that she understood your predicament.

In all honesty, the harassment wouldn't be that bad if it weren't for one specific man. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke.

Akutagawa was a violent, hostile, rabid dog of a man who took any possible chance to insult you without mercy. It didn't even have to be anything that would get you into trouble or annoy him, he would belittle anything he could about you as a person, not just your work for the mafia. It had quickly lost all of the leeway you had for newbie-hazing. At least now you had a reason to blame for the prickly mafioso hating your guts. Turns out he isn't a fan of his fashion being labelled 'hot topic tween goth.' After that, you just avoided him as best you could, which seemed near impossible with how much he continued to pop up in your life, even after you'd insulted him.

Of course, Mori would pair you with the goth pretty frequently despite your reluctance, Akutagawa had a pretty variable set of jobs he could be assigned to and thus would be a good on-the-job teacher for a newbie such as yourself, but after you'd insulted the goth he didn't leave you alone like you might've thought he would. Instead, he seemed to pop up a lot more frequently, even outside of the jobs you were paired with him on. Of course, you would see the pale vampire at the headquarters when you weren't working with him, but now you had gone from seeing him maybe once a week for a task or to retrieve or deliver ill-gotten cash, to seeing him a distance behind you in the hallway of the headquarters almost every other day, or in one of the spare sitting rooms the goons had overtaken and claimed as a sort of 'break room' on nights when you'd stay super late into the night and should've been alone.

However, you couldn't really accuse the hostile man of stalking you just to glare at you or spit insults. After all, Higuchi had always had a very valid point as to why you were running into him when you brought the occurrences up, and you'd be labelled a loon for thinking he'd been trailing you just because you had spotted him in the grocery store. So, you opted to keep your mouth shut and just ignored him whenever you could get away with it.

Though, every once in a while a snide remark or two slipped out, like one had on the day he limped into the headquarters after another spat with his rival, Atsushi Nakajima. "You look like a cat's half digested dinner," you snorted, watching the wheezing vampire flop into one of the fancy velvet chairs in the empty break room. He was still glowing a pretty vibrant red, with his coat ribbon lashing like the tail of an angry cat, but he ignored your comment and instead focused on wrapping his slashed up arm and leg in bandages. Then, just as you were beginning to leave the room to find your own place to do some paperwork, you felt fabric slither around your neck to tighten into a razor-wire choke-collar and yank you none-too-gently over to the chair Akutagawa sat in.

You weren't likely to cut an impressive figure with your (e/c) eyes wide with shock at the sudden attack, and fear at the feeling of Rashoumon's sharp edges biting into your (s/c) skin to draw blood under your bully's cold, humiliation-filled glare, "I think you're beginning to forget your place here, newbie." He spat, his raspy growl dripping with venom, "Not only do I outrank you, but I am much stronger than you. You are nowhere near Jinko's strength, fucking Higuchi is more of a threat to me than you are, so the next time you want to feel more significant than you are and insult me, I suggest you have a fucking grave dug beforehand." He got right in your face as he spoke, barring his teeth at you with sin-worthy wrath in his grey eyes, but, just for a moment before the lethal ribbon threw you away as easily as he would a gum wrapper, he hesitated. It was brief, only a few seconds, but Akutagawa's anger lessened, and instead he leaned forward just a hair. Just as quickly as it appeared though, the moment was gone. His fury returned with a vengeance and the ribbon that held you captive launched you across the room, sending you sliding across the floor and into the wall hard enough to crack it just a bit.

You took the hint and scrambled to your feet as soon as you got some air into your lungs, coughing and wheezing as you fled the room before Rashoumon could be sent through your spine next.

Admittedly, being snippy with the vampire after he'd already been embarrassed like that hadn't been a shining example of your best timing, but you tried to move past it, and that weird moment of hesitation, and label it a learning experience. Your fellow goons however, caught wind of your confrontation and did not give you such kindness. They instead turned it into more ammunition for snide remarks about how intelligent you were.

"Hey! Look who just walked in!" A goon you had yet to learn the name of almost crowed one day when you were eating lunch in the breakroom, just trying to watch some tv before your next job when Akutagawa had come in. "Hey, (y/n), wanna try and see if he'll knock your braincells back into place?" You just glared at the man while he continued to call you stupid and just try to instigate whatever fight he could it seemed. You didn't fall for his trap though, keeping your mouth firmly shut and not responding to his insults or assumptions of how masochistic you were. No, you instead simply returned your attention to the tv and blocked out Akutagawa's existence until you finished your lunch and left for your job.

Thankfully, it was a solo mission, a new extension of trust from Mori, and a prime chance to not only prove yourself, but to get away from the assholes you worked with. So, by the time you returned to the mafia headquarters, you were feeling pretty good and had almost completely forgotten your earlier run-in with that asshole of a goon around your lunch time.

Of course, the sky was dark by the time you returned from the job, so on top of your improved mood, you were also spared further heckling since everyone else had finished their work and gone home for the night. So, you were gratefully able to fly through the report you had to write about the mission, and cataloging of the goods you'd distributed without issue. It wasn't until you stopped by the bathroom to change out of your clothing and into some more comfortable, not-dirty clothes before your walk home that you smelled the stench of blood.

It hit you like a brick as soon as you had opened the bathroom door. The whole bathroom reeked of the dizzying smell of iron and death so badly that it poured out into the empty hallway. All it took was a few steps inside to investigate for you to spot the source of such a strong stench. A corpse huddled into the far corner across from the stalls.

Through your stinging tears, you could see that it was likely one of the other mafia goons, and judging by the one bloody tuft of hair you could see amongst the chunks of flayed flesh...it was the same goon that was messing with you earlier. Since your only identifier was the shredded and blood soaked suit that the heap of shredded flesh and spilled entrails somewhat wore and a bit of hair, you couldn't say for certain, but something in your gut told you it was the same man.

"You know, you should really grow a spine." You whirled around to face the doorway as soon as the raspy voice spoke, (e/c) eyes wide and your hand instantly falling to the small pistol you had at your hip. But, instead of some demented intruder out to murder any mafia goons they found, you were instead met with Akutagawa. Your worst bully.

For a moment, all you could do was stare in shock, your brain frantically scrambling to recollect its composure under the pressure of an almost primal terror, just letting you stammer out a shakey, "What?" before your legs began to turn to jello, the thick blanket of coppery blood in the air making your stomach want to escape out of your mouth. However, you put your hand on the cool glass of the sink and bit back the urge to vomit. The last thing you wanted was to give the sadistic mafioso more ammo against you in his harassment, and if he was the goon-slaughtering-psycho, you didn't want to go out because you were too busy retching to defend yourself. However, he didn't attack you. He just stood in the doorway and glared at the mutilated pile of flesh as if it had insulted his family for a moment before speaking again, "You're supposed to be a mafia member, (y/n), you can't just let people use you as a doormat, it reflects poorly on the organization." he chided with a derisive sniff, "Grow a damned spine and begin to stand up for yourself. No one's going to 'defend your honor' like this..." He trailed off, fixing you with a cold, irritated look for a long moment before he turned on his heel with a huff, "Clean that bastard up, before he stains the linoleum anymore than he already has."

With that, Akutagawa stomped off back to wherever he'd come from. Leaving you to deal with the bloody carnage you'd discovered, and to ask yourself why he had even been here. It was the middle of the night, most everyone should be home by now, but the goth had appeared only a moment after you'd entered the bathroom, how had he shown up so quickly? He didn't bring Mori or anyone else, so it wasn't like he'd discovered the body first...

You got a sick feeling that he'd been the one to leave such a nightmarish scene. And that he'd been waiting for you to find it or something.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #Akutagawa ryuunosuke #x reader #Yandere akutagawa #ask #scenario #yandere

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astaroth1357 · 5 years ago

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Lucifer!! Who Shrank Me?!?

IT’S DONE!!! Finally! Man this was like pulling teeth! And guys, I’m almost out of titles (which means the series is drawing to a close). I think I have ONE more left in me, but it’ll be a doozy so don’t expect it too soon.

This is part of a multi-part series, (here’s the Masterlist) placed after “Lucifer?? Who Shrank You??”

(Okay.. How do I shrink the Lord of Hell, his butler, two angels, and an all-powerful sorcerer in one fell swoop…? uhhhh… Oh! Okay! Here we go!!)

Intro:

It was all going according to plan. Satan finally got a handle on that size-changing book from before and he was ready to get Lucifer with it right in front of Diavolo. He more than anyone else was pissed that the eldest demon managed to stay hidden from his Lord during the shrinking fiasco that struck the brothers last time, but now there’d be no escape for him! He left the book at the bottom of a stack at Diavolo’s seat right before a big meeting between the demons and the exchange students... Knowing Lucifer, he’d pick up the stack to move it out of the way then BOOM- tiny!Lucifer right in front of Diavolo! It was perfect!...

... Okay, maybe there were some unforeseen holes in the plan. Like maybe the Demon Lord came in talking to one of the exchange students or his butler instead of Lucifer like he expected… And someone other than Lucifer decided to pick up the stack and now they’re three inches tall… Yikes… 😬

Who was it?

Diavolo

Look, he may be royalty but it's not like he’s frail or anything! He saw the books on his table and just picked them up in order to move them out of the way. The next thing you know, the all powerful ruler of the Devildom is the size of an index finger…

Nearly gave Barbatos a heart attack when the Young Lord suddenly disappeared from sight. If you think that Lucifer would be pissed, try Barbs on for size... Satan will be paying for this little prank ten-fold.

Diavolo is in oddly good spirits about it though. Like, between Lucifer and Barbs it’s not like he’s going to be in any danger so why not enjoy it?? He even got to order Lucifer to let him sit on his head during the meeting! (to the eldest’s chagrin…)

And just like that, Lucifer became even more of a babysitter than he already was.... 🙄

Tiny!Diavolo still somehow manages to carry himself pretty well despite the new size, though it might be helped by the fact that Lucifer glares daggers at literally anyone who even smiles at him while he’s like this…

The Little D’s were thrown for a loop when the Lord came back even smaller than they were! He and the whole lot of them pretty much form a tiny gang of troublemakers and start messing around the Castle when Barbs is distracted…

Lucifer came by one night to find tiny!Diavolo Tarzan swinging from one of the chandeliers… He later had to pull out an extra large bottle of Demonus to get through that one. Tiny!Diavolo is not good for Luci’s health...

Barbatos

What sort of butler would he be if he didn’t move those books for his young Lord? It wasn’t his fault that Satan hadn't thought things through!

Speaking of Satan, he’s not exactly pleased with his new size (how in the world is he supposed to get anything done like this??) so he and Lucifer agree it’s within the young Lord’s best interest to have a replacement butler… (sorry Satan… 😥)

And he’s with the hot-headed blondie every step of the way. Literally sitting on his shoulder and commanding him to do this and that on threat of… honestly who knows what because Satan refuses to repeat it… 😰

To everyone who’s not named Satan, though, Barbatos is still very much Barbatos. He may be relying a little more on the Little D’s and his new slave Satan to get things done but the Castle still looks as good as ever.

Having tea with tiny!Barbatos is both oddly peaceful and really unnerving... He still orders Satan around to do all the pouring and serving with the presence of a drill sergeant, but his tiny-self is surprisingly relaxed when speaking to guests. It's probably because he can’t do very much personally… It’s like he’s actually getting a break, forced or not. 🤷‍♀️

His only big irritation is that he can’t cook while he’s this size and, let’s face it, Satan is no Barbatos in the kitchen. He may be no slouch, but it’s like comparing a state champion to an Olympic gold medalist…

Any time Satan has to prepare meals for Diavolo, it’s like he has a mini-Gordon Ramsey shouting in his ear and it’s VERY stressful…! There's just no mercy for the poor guy… 😞

Simeon

He was just trying to be polite and move those books for Diavolo while they were chatting… Why in the world is he so small now??

Luke turned into a blubbering mess upon seeing him because of course, of course, OF COURSE demons would be behind doing such a terrible thing to his brother/father/mentor/guardian man!! How dare they!!! 😡

Simeon… is kind of chill though. Sure he’s shocked and not very happy about it but there’s always a bright side to every bad situation!

He gets to be carried by Luke or the MC around RAD now. It’s just like what he used to do for tiny!MC but in reverse which is certainly refreshing. And Luke is just too adorable when he tries to “protect” his fellow angel from demons, cats, and everything in between. It’s very sweet. 🤭

Since one of Lucifer’s brothers shrunk him, he was able to subtly convince Diavolo to leave the angel’s protection outside of school up to Lucifer himself (which means he can’t keep ignoring him anymore!)

It took some time for him to wear the demon down, but truth be told, seeing tiny!Simeon and Lucifer palling around is sort of adorable… Any time Lucifer thinks they’re alone it’s almost like there was never any war to start with. They’ll just shoot the shit about old stories or embarrassing stuff Michael’s been up to... Dream come true for Simeon!

Of course, it all goes right back to normal the second that Lucifer notices that there’s someone else around. Unfortunately, the man’s damn pride won’t let him admit that he may actually miss his old friends… But a few hours of having the old Luci back is more than enough for Simeon (at least for now).

If he’s not with Lucifer, then he’s with the MC literally playing the part of their “shoulder angel.” No sinning when the angel’s watching, MC, because otherwise he’ll be very disappointed in you... 🤨

Luke

He’d never be caught dead helping a demon! Royalty or otherwise!!

...he just moved those books so Simeon or MC didn’t have to while the group was chatting… Yeah. Totally.

Which is how the Devildom was graced with an itty-bitty Luke… like, ittier-bittier that all of the other tiny!residents by at least an inch!

Between Simeon freaking out and poor Luke crying in confusion about the whole thing it was really just a mess at first… 😥

Luke doesn't like being tiny at all! He was already the shortest person there and now he feels so small and unsafe... He's terrified some demon will come by and just gobble him up! 😣

MC has to keep an extra close eye on tiny!Luke because the brothers WILL try to mess with him if they get the chance. The only exception is Beel, but even he will extort the little angel for cake if Luke gets too snippy with him...

Luke needs the most help compared to all the others (duh). Boy is like the anti-Satan, he can't problem-solve for shit… If they leave Luke on a table and he'll be completely stuck there. He’s too scared to try and do anything too daring on his own so please keep an eye on this itsy-bitsy bean…

His little cakes are adorable though! Like, it was really hard for him to make them when he was big, but at his current size (and a little help with Simeon and MC) he can make just the cutest micro-cupcakes! (Don’t tell Beel though, or he’ll order a trillion… 😰)

Solomon

Recognized the size changing book at the bottom in an instant (it’s his book, after all) but picked the stack up anyway.

If you thought that Mammon being small was bad enough, now there’s a tiny!Solomon running around… Devil help us… 😣

Is he using his tiny size to get up to all sorts of shady shit? Probably. It’s really hard to tell because he’s damn good at staying hidden... (You think this is his first time getting shrunk? Oh please honey, he’s a veteran.)

Oooor, he may be using a “Oh, MC! Look at what the brothers have done this time! Woe is me...” ploy to get the MC’s undivided attention for a while…(Who the hell knows?)

He doesn’t NEED help really because he can magically levitate and shrink everything that he wants down to size, but no. He helped the MC through their shrinking adventures, (“Help” is, admittedly, a strong word for “taking advantage of a situation he technically caused” but you know) so it was time for them to return the favor!

The MC finds some benefits to having a pocket sorcerer though. Hanging out with little Solomon is like having a Swiss Army knife to life! The guy has a spell or a convenient connection to tackle right about anything that comes their way!

These “favors” don’t come free though… He fully expects repayment each time and he’s not Mammon, Grimm ain’t going to cut it. His requests are a lot more… uh…

Well, the MC has now learned how to recreate a number of Solomon’s signature dishes which include such enduring classics as: jellied tuna, cheesecakes made with actual nacho cheese, and something they’ve dubbed “Literal Death” which is just tamales stuffed with paste made from ground Ghost Peppers… Hope it all was worth it...

Check out my Masterlist for more!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #honey i shrunk the kids?

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lonelier-version-of-you · 5 years ago

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ok I haven’t been participating in that Autism Acceptance Month Challenge thing because... executive dysfunction lmao.

but yesterday’s theme was autistic representation, and I’ve seen a lot of people use this subject to say they wish there were more complex autistic characters, more autistic characters who get more to do than Being Autistic, more stories addressing ableism, more autistic adult characters, etc.

and it’s made me think about one of my favourite canon autistic characters ever, who is sadly underrated because no one outside of the UK has heard of the show he’s from, but whom I think a lot of people would appreciate.

So. LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT DYLAN KEOGH.

He’s a character from the BBC show Casualty (a medical drama series about the staff of a hospital emergency department), and some of the best canon autistic representation I’ve ever seen.

Dylan’s autism heavily impacts him as a character, but he isn’t just there to be The Autistic Member of the ED team. (In fact, there’s another autistic character on the show, a paramedic named Ruby Spark. No tokenism here, folks! Ruby is awesome too, but her autism is less directly focused on in the series - and confirmed by the actress rather than on-screen - so I’m mostly talking about Dylan in this post because his autism actually gets directly addressed in the series.) [ETA: As of May 2020, Ruby has left the show because the actress wanted to pursue other projects. She was a great character while she lasted though.]

He’s so much more than that. He gets to fall in love with people who aren’t good for him, to mentor younger staff members, to help refugee kids, etc. He gets to do everything the other characters do.

When his autism comes up, it’s handled fantastically. He’s no savant, the show makes that very clear - he’s very talented and intelligent, but he’s not a genius who can figure out what’s wrong with his patients right away or anything like that. Dylan wishes he could be a savant, sure, but he’s not.

Which is where one of my favourite aspects of Dylan’s character comes in. On the surface, he may look like an “asshole genius” stereotype. But! In reality, he’s quite the opposite. He can often be sarcastic and snippy and impatient with people, and very closed off, but this doesn’t come from his autism so much as it comes from rebelling against the way the world has treated him. It’s a “You think I’m weird and rude? Fine then, I’ll be weird and rude!” kind of thing more than anything, but he can still open up and be a lovely man when he wants to.

Part of Dylan’s backstory is that his father physically and emotionally abused him for being autistic, and the show makes NO ATTEMPT to justify this or go “but Brian [Dylan’s father] was under such stress raising an autistic kid!” or anything like that. It’s portrayed as what it is: repulsive, abusive, and just flat-out morally wrong behaviour.

Throughout the show, Dylan has often had to deal with ableism of all kinds. It’s ranged from the past abuse and recurrent ableist comments from his father, to an Autism Mum who assumes he’s ‘not like her child’, to little microaggressions even from well-intentioned people. (In one episode from 2015, Dylan’s best friend at the time, a nurse called Lofty, makes a comment about Dylan not really seeming human and probably being “an alien sent to study us”. It’s all in jest, but Dylan overhears and is hurt by it - and by the end of the episode, Lofty realises what he said was wrong.) They don’t make this into a Very Special Episode or a “zomg please don’t bully the poor autistic angels” kind of thing, either, it’s shown as a legitimate and unfair form of prejudice.

I want to expand on the part about the Autism Mum for a moment: this was Series 26 Episode 10, ‘Sanctuary’, and for the love of god, even if you never watch any other Casualty episodes, please just watch that one. In fact, it’s the one I took the gif earlier in this post from. It calls out ableism and allistic parents who paint themselves as martyrs, and features Dylan (the sort of character they easily could’ve made into a ‘shiny Aspie’) bonding with an autistic woman who has higher support needs and treating her as an equal. The episode shows that even though many would class Dylan as “high-functioning” and the autistic woman, Angela, as “low-functioning”, they have more in common than what divides them. It’s fantastic and incredibly ahead of its time.

There are so many more reasons I love Dylan, but this post is long enough already, so I’ll just stop here and hope I’ve already inspired some interest in his character. Dylan may not be perfect representation (he is, admittedly, another white straight man, and the show plays his touch sensitivity for laughs a little too often for my liking), but IMHO, he’s pretty damn close. And I think he deserves much more recognition and appreciation as autistic rep than he gets.

#actuallyautistic #actually autistic #autism #BBC Casualty #Dylan Keogh #hopefully this version will actually show up in the tags lmao

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acciotonystank · 5 years ago

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It Comes and Goes in Waves

Read on AO3

Tony had noticed that Peter was acting… off. He kept cancelling their lab sessions, giving vague excuses as to why he couldn’t go, he’d take forever to answer his texts and when they did talk, he wasn’t very responsive. Tony would be the one to have to carry the conversation, rather than hardly being able to get a word in between his barely-comprehendible rambling. And that’s what concerned him the most.

If Peter couldn’t come over as much because he’d started actually having a life (and maybe hopefully a girlfriend or boyfriend?) Tony was fine with that - encouraged it. God knows the kid needed to actually have time to be a kid before he went off to college next month. But it was the sudden quietness that had overcome the boy that unnerved him. It had been a relatively gradual process, which is probably why it took Tony as long as it did to pick up on the unusual behaviour.

Even May had noticed. The woman called asking if he knew what was wrong, because Peter hadn’t been talking to her as much and often wasn’t home. And look, Tony wasn’t proud of the slightly relieved feeling that nudged at him when he found out she was receiving similar treatment - obviously that wasn’t good. But he couldn’t help the relief that it wasn’t personal, that Tony hadn’t fucked up, it wasn’t something he’d done.

Of course, that still meant that they weren’t that much closer to figuring out what was wrong. May insisted that she’d tried to get it out of Peter, but he kept brushing her off and sometimes getting snippy with her. Now, that was concerning. Unsure of what else to do, May asked Tony if he could try. The man had pointed out that he hadn’t even seen Peter in three weeks, to which she had explained that she had a work conference to go to the following week in DC, which a couple of the other girls were planning on making into a girls weekend and had invited her. Realising she could use this as an excuse to get Peter over at the compound for a whole weekend so that Tony could have a chance at getting through to him, she accepted.

“I don’t see why you think he’ll talk to me if he won’t talk to you, but I’ll try,” Tony promised.

“He loves you, Tony,” May stated. “And I know he loves me, but there are some things he might not want to talk to his aunt about.”

Tony pulled a face. “Like… relationship stuff?”

“I don’t know, he’s never had a problem with talking to me about relationships before. That doesn’t mean it’s not that, of course, but I don’t think it is.”

“You think it might be Spider-Man related?”

There was a pause in which Tony was pretty sure she was chewing anxiously on her lip.

“Maybe,” she said after a moment, in a tone that told him she didn’t believe so. “I… I think it might have something to do with college. He kinda… shuts down a little whenever I mention MIT but he won’t talk to me about it. I’ve asked and he always insists everything’s fine, like I’m fucking stupid.”

Tony blinked, wondering why he hadn’t considered that before. He was thrilled to go to college so he’d be away from his dad. Of course, he’d missed Jarvis terribly, the butler being his only friend until that point. The man had practically raised him and Tony had loved him deeply, however, a part of him had desperately wanted to get out that cold house, to get a fresh start. It hadn’t occurred to him that Peter probably didn’t want a fresh start. Why would he? Peter had a loving aunt with whom he lived, all his friends were here, he had a real and a fake internship, both of which he loved, and his super cool mentor for both.

Guilt flooded him when he thought of all his teasing about Peter’s future partying days in college and how he’ll obviously thrash everyone with his genius intellect. He thought the kid was just being bashful, not that he was making him actually uncomfortable and anxious. He could understand why Peter would be anxious about going to college; living in a whole new place with a bunch of new people in a completely different environment is pretty terrifying. Especially for rambling, stuttering, awkward-as-shit introverts with rather poor people skills.

But it still didn’t really explain why he’d been avoiding them. Tony had had plenty of conversations with Peter about anxiety and about going to him when he was feeling anxious, and they’d been doing well for the last couple of years. They’d reached the point where Peter would actually talk to Tony if he was anxious about anything, so he didn’t understand why he’d suddenly cut him out now. It… It kind of hurt.

“I’ll talk to him about it,” he decided finally. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Tony, it means a lot.”

“It’s not a problem, May, really,” he insisted. “He’s a great kid, I just want him to be happy.”

“You and me both,” she sighed. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Tony ran his hands over his face when the call ended. Why did teenagers have to be so damn complicated?

When Peter arrived the following Friday afternoon, Tony was completely thrown off by his stand-offish behaviour. He barely looked the man in the eye as he walked in, just muttering a quiet ‘hey’ and walking past, towards his bedroom as Happy threw Tony a look that indicated he had no idea what was going wrong.

“What the hell?” Happy whispered once the boy was out of earshot.

“He’s been like this for a few weeks,” Tony murmured back. “That’s why he’s here, so he can’t escape and I can actually find out why he’s acting like this. I thought it was about college, but that was… frosty. Maybe I did something?”

“I’m not an expert on teenagers, but I’m pretty sure locking them inside and forcing them to talk doesn’t usually work.”

Tony’s pressed his lips together and nodded slightly. “I know… but frankly, I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I’ve tried everything. Except alcohol, that usually loosens peoples’ tongues but I feel like that’s morally questionable-“

“He’s eighteen,” Happy deadpanned. “Definitely morally questionable.”

“Which is why I haven’t done it yet!” Tony defended.

“Yet?”

“Look, if I get really desperate-“

“Tony!”

“Oh, come one, would you rather he drink at parties with a bunch of irresponsible, drunk, unsupervised teenagers or with me?”

“It’s one thing to have a drink with your underage kid, but in the eyes of the law, you’re not his legal guardian and if you’re just doing it to get information out of him, that’s just wrong.”

“I know,” Tony sighed. “I know. I just… I don’t know what I’ll do if this doesn’t work. He’s very obviously not okay and he’s shutting himself away and I don’t like it.”

“I’ve got to go and pick up Pepper from that board meeting and take her to the office, but… keep me updated.”

Tony knew Happy wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he’d grown fond of Peter - it was hard not to with his baby face and doe eyes and dopey smile- He shook his head. He needed to stop missing Peter’s smile and work on actually getting it back.

After the man left, Tony made his way to Peter’s room and knocked on the door. He was confused when he got no response, but when he strained his ears, he could hear the sound of the shower running. He pressed his lips together and ran a hand through his hair, before shaking his head again They didn’t have to talk as soon as he got there, it’d be somewhat suspicious if he did. He needed Peter to settle in first and they had the whole weekend. Besides, he’d have to eat dinner at some point, he couldn’t stay holed up in his room forever.

When Peter finally came into the kitchen, Tony was beginning to prepare dinner. The boy hesitated in the doorway for a moment before coming forward and sitting at the counter.

“You’re cooking?” he asked in surprise.

“Yep - I’m doing, uh-“ he glanced down at the screen at the recipe he was going off. “Chilli cashew chicken stir-fry.”

“Something with vegetables,” Peter noted in amusement.

Tony hesitated a moment, before seizing the opportunity. “Yeah, I figured I should get some veggies in you before you head off to college and live off ramen for an obscene amount of time.”

It was instant, the way Peter’s face fell slightly and he gave a weak laugh. Bingo.

“You excited?”

It was a cheap shot, but he was hoping that by digging at it, Peter would eventually burst and spill everything. Unfortunately, at that very moment, Peter’s phone started ringing and he jumped at it, jabbering out an apology and walking off with the phone against his ear.

“Hey, Ned, what’s up?”

Tony threw his head back in exasperation, cursing Ned under his breath.

Conveniently, Peter didn’t come back until Tony told FRIDAY to let him know dinner was ready. Tony had spent the rest of the time making dinner hyping himself up for a heart-to-heart, however, when Peter sat down, he started shoving down his food at an inhuman speed, using the fact that his mouth was full to not talk.

“I’m sorry, Tony, but I’m really tired, I’m going to go to bed,” he announced as soon as he was done, already standing to put his plate in the dishwasher.

“Oh, okay,” the man replied, only halfway through his meal, unable to keep the hurt out of his voice.

He noticed Peter pause for a fraction of a second, his eyes glancing back a the man guiltily. “I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow, g’night.”

“Goodnight, underoos.”

The following morning, Tony made breakfast, hoping to have a proper conversation with Peter this time. Naturally, the boy came bounding down, shovelled the food down and said he was hanging out with Ned and MJ in the city for the day.

Fuck.

“Alright, buddy, but be back by five, alright?”

Peter paused. “Why?”

“What do you mean, ‘why’? I want to have dinner with my favourite intern. I hardly saw you yesterday.”

“O-okay,” he nodded reluctantly. “I’ll see you later.”

Yet again, Peter had managed to escape with merely a few words and Tony was starting to get pissed off. Admittedly, not at Peter. He of all people couldn’t criticise Peter for avoiding something that was troubling him and not telling anyone and letting it consume him - that’d be hypocritical as fuck. If anything, though, Tony had learnt through that experience that pulling shit like that was not healthy at all and- shit, Peter wasn’t dying, was he? Is that why he was getting weird about college? Tony quickly tried to dismiss the thought, swallowing down the oncoming panic that had begun to rise. The only reason Tony hadn’t told anyone he was dying was because he thought (knew) that he was the only person who could do anything about it. If Peter was dying, surely he’d know that Tony would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it.

Right?

When it got to 5:01pm, Tony tried not to get shitty. It was certainly irrational - had it been any normal day when Peter wasn’t ghosting everyone, one minute past the time he was meant to be back wouldn’t be a big deal at all. But Tony had not had a fun day. He’d spent most of it monitoring Peter’s vitals from the high-tech watch he’d given him a year ago with an array of safety features for when he wasn’t in the suit. And despite rationalising that Peter probably wasn’t dying, the idea had seeped into his mind like a stain that he couldn’t get rid of.

God, he was so sick of this and he just wanted Peter to be honest with him, to tell him what was upsetting him so that he didn’t have to face it alone. Tony knew how much that fucking sucked.

So when the boy walked out of the elevator at 5:02pm Tony immediately swivelled around on the kitchen stool and scanned over his figure for any sign of pain or injury, but found none. He couldn’t stop thinking about his days of thinking he was going to die of palladium poisoning and suddenly, Tony wasn’t really sure how to ask if he was dying without sounding insane. Then again, when had sane been something he aspired to be?

“You’re not dying are you?” he blurted out, before Peter even had the chance to say hello.

Peter stopped abruptly, face scrunching up. “I’m not- sorry, what?”

Tony knew that Peter was a great deflector, but he was a terrible liar. So the complete and genuine bewilderment in his voice and on his face immediately filled Tony with relief.

“Sorry, that was a really weird question, I just-“ he cut himself off and took a deep breath. “You’ve been avoiding me, kid, and I don’t know why-“

“Tony-“ Peter began, looking uncomfortable again, eyes flitting towards the hallway to his room.

“You gotta talk to me, Pete, please. I don’t know what’d going on with you, but whatever it is, you don’t have to deal with it on your own. I haven’t seen you in weeks, I haven’t seen you smile once since you got here, you won’t talk to me… you gotta let me in, buddy. I just want to help you.”

Peter’s eyes started to water and he ducked his head to stare at the car keys in his hand.

“This is about college, isn’t it? May and I have both noticed you acting weird about it.”

The kid’s eyes snapped up to him at the mention of his aunt and he chewed at his lip guiltily.

“Is it MIT? Would you rather go to a different college? Would you rather not go to college at all?”

Peter made a noise of frustration, which Tony could tell was directed at himself as he struggled to answer. “Yes and no. I… I really want to go to college, Tony, and I’m really excited about going to MIT, but… I don’t want to leave.”

Oh.

“Kid,” Tony breathed, as Peter wiped at his eyes and slumped down into the seat next to him.

He wasn’t anxious about going, he was anxious about leaving.

“Like… I’m really looking forward to college, and meeting new people will be scary but I’m still excited for it, you know? It’s just… my whole l-life is here. And it’s like… the reason I love my apartment is because it feels like home, but it only feels like home because of M-May. And I feel like this- this city is mine because its Ned’s and MJ’s too. And I love c-coming here, but not because of the tower or anything in it, b-because of you. But I won’t have any of you when I’m there and I feel so p-pathetic for crying about it, but I can’t help but loathe the idea of a life without any of y-you.”

By now, tears were rolling down his cheeks, and his red-rimmed shining brown eyes caused some pull in Tony to stand up and draw the boy into a tight hug.

“That’s why you isolated yourself,” Tony realised aloud.

“I th-thought that if I d-distanced myself I could get u-used to it, you know?” Peter sniffled into his shoulder. “B-but it only made it w-worse and I’m so sorry for making you guys worry about me, but I felt so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, Pete,” Tony murmured, running a hand through Peter’s hair. “Well… I mean, that’s debatable but not for being upset about leaving. You don’t think I don’t want you to leave, either? We both know I’m going to struggle upholding basic human functions when you leave.”

Peter let out a wet laugh.

“You know that we’re not just going to suddenly stop being in your life when you leave, right? Thanks to this knew fandangled technology we can text each other, call each other, even video chat.”

Peter shoved him off playfully and wiped at his eyes, smiling sadly. “It’s not the same. I… okay, I feel like this is going to make me sound like a serial killer.”

“Well, we both know you’re not and I’ve said some pretty weird shit in my time, so fire away.”

“I.. I have a thing with smells. Like… May has a distinctive smell, and so do Ned and MJ and you. And I don’t know how to explain it, but I associate the smells of the people I care about with safety and comfort and stuff… I know that probably sounds weird-”

“It’s not weird,” Tony shrugged. “I don’t get people who don’t get the smell thing. Sometimes when Pepper’s away, I sleep on her side of the bed because it smells like her. And she takes my clothes all the time for the same reason. It’s going to suck for a while, kid, it’s true. But we can still talk, and unless the world needs saving, I’ll always be prepared to fly over in the suit so you can remind yourself how great I smell.”

“Tony-” Peter whined, causing the man to bark out a laugh.

“I’m just teasing you. But it’ll get better, I promise. No one’s expecting you to be fine when you upend your life like that, but you’ll make friends and you can all distract each other from being homesick and help each other through it. And you can always call any of us, anyway. And I wasn’t joking, if you need, I can fly over for whatever reason.”

“Thank you, Tony,” Peter smiled, letting himself be pulled into another firm hug.

“You feel better?”

Peter nodded.

“Good. Do you want to order some pizza and watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine?”

“Uh, yes.”

“Did you really think I was dying?” Peter asked as Tony was laying out the pizza boxes on the coffee table. The man froze and glanced sheepishly at him.

“I… I didn’t think so, but I guess I was thinking about whatever it could be you were hiding from everyone and why you were isolating yourself and it made me think of the time I was dying from palladium poisoning-”

“You were dying from palladium poisoning?!” Peter screeched.

“Ah… sometimes I forget people don’t know about that.”

“Dude.”

“That’s besides the point,” he waved a dismissive hand. “The point is, your behaviour kinda reminded me of mine when all that was happening and I figured if something like that was happening you’d tell me, but I couldn’t help but… be concerned, I guess.”

“I can promise you now, if I was dying, I’d let you know,” Peter promised softly, wide brown eyes boring into Tony’s.

“Thanks, Pete,” the man said with a slight laugh. “That’s surprisingly reassuring.”

“Can you promise me that you’ll tell me if you’re dying again?” the teenager shot back.

“Sure, underoos,” he grinned, ruffling his hair.

“Do you really think I’ll make friends at MIT?” Peter asked after a moment.

Tony looked at him in surprise. “Of course. I know it seems terrifying, but it’s actually a lot of fun - you get to reinvent yourself.”

Peter’s head jerked back in mild offence. “What’s wrong with the way I am?”

“Nothing, kid,” he laughed. “Nothing at all. I just mean that not knowing anyone there can be a blessing. Everyone there will be meeting you for the first time, they won’t know that some asswipe nicknamed you Penis Parker. They’ll just know you as Peter, the kind, funny, genius, dumbass disaster that I know.”

Peter drew his head back even further in affront.

“Don’t look at me like that. Are you insanely smart? Yes. But did you throw a cup of juice onto your bed instead of your phone? Also yes.”

“That was one time.”

“What about the other night when you turned the TV down so you could taste your mac and cheese better? Or the time you thought your food vanished from the microwave, when it turned out you’d just forgotten to put it in there before turning it on? Now that I think about it, I’m concerned about sending you off to college.”

Peter scowled. “Okay, you know what, you’re one to talk - what about the time you threw a plate in the bin?”

“That was intentional, I didn’t like that plate-”

“It was not! I saw you looking for it later. Besides, it was the same as all the plates that are still in the cupboard. You’ve done plenty of dumb shit and you survived college just fine.”

Tony grimaced. “I really hope your college experience is much better than mine, kiddo. I mean… I know it will be because you’re actually a mature and responsible kid. I was fifteen and drinking and getting high and having sex. Not to say that you can’t do that stuff, but I was far too young and naive. If you’re gonna drink, do it in moderation and with people you trust… I’d really rather you stayed away from all drugs, but I understand if you’re curious, and if you’re going to do it, don’t do any hard stuff and make sure you know what it is and, again, only with people you trust. As for sex-”

Peter flushed. “Tony, you don’t have to-”

“Shh, I’m bestowing wisdom onto you. Some people are very lax about sex, and that’s fine, but it is a very intimate and vulnerable experiment and you should only do it with someone you’re comfortable with and always use protection. If you’re not gonna sack it, go home and whack it.”

Peter buried his face in his hands. “Oh my god.”

“And if you’re with a guy, don’t let him in unless he’s wearing a condom.”

“Okay, Tony, I think-”

“And don’t underestimate the important of foreplay. Especially for your first time, it’s a good way to ease into it and make sure you’re both comfortable. And it also helps your body become physically ready, because if you just go charging to things underprepared, it’s much less comfortable. And the most effective lubricant is actual lube, don’t let a guy tell you spit will work just as well, do it properly.”

“Are you finished?” Peter asked in a strangled voice.

“Oh, that’s another thing - don’t be selfish when it comes to sex. It’s not just about your pleasure, make sure your partner finishes too.”

“Uh, what did I miss?”

Peter’s head shot up the arrival of Rhodey, who was clearly very confused about what he had walked into.

“Honey bear!” Tony greeted cheerfully. “I’ve just been giving Pete some advice about hanky panky.”

“Please save me,” he begged, hope draining when Rhodey’s grin widened.

“No, no, no - this is important,” he insisted and took a seat next to Tony, much to the billionaire’s amusement.

Peter flopped back dramatically with a heavy groan.

“Oh, and consent! Consent is really important. You know how all that works, right?”

“Yeah, but I suspect you’re gonna tell me any-”

“Even if they seem really keen, you should make sure, get verbal consent,” Tony began. “And if they change their mind at any point, you stop instantly. Same for you, obviously - don’t feel like just because you started, you can’t stop. You’re perfectly in your right to say no whenever you want. And if they’re drunk, it’s an automatic no, no matter how much they want it. Don’t sleep with a drunk person and don’t sleep with anyone when drunk. Don’t let anyone try and pressure you or guilt you into anything, you don’t owe anyone shit, let alone your body. And if anyone isn’t taking no for an answer, don’t hesitate to use that spider strength of yours to your advantage. Oh, there’s that too - I obviously don’t have super strength, but I have seen that scene in Twilight, when they’re on their honeymoon and Cedric or whatever-”

“I get it!” Peter exclaimed.

“The point is, be aware of your strength. I know you always are, but it’s common to get a bit carried away during sex and you don’t wanna accidentally hurt anyone.”

“Don’t forget about kinks,” Rhodey chimed in, much to Peter’s horror.

“Oh yeah!” Tony grinned.

“MISTER RHODES!”

“If you want to explore kinks and stuff,” Tony started, ignoring Peter’s protests, “before you do anything, you need to negotiate your comfort range, have some kind of safety system set up, whether it be hand gestures, a safe word, a traffic light system, whatever. Also don’t let anyone you don’t completely trust tie you up, because one time I let this chick tie me up and then she just took my money, got dressed and left. Fortunately for me, I’d ordered room service so -although I probably scarred that poor woman- I wasn’t stuck like that for long.”

“Okay, I think I got it-” Peter insisted, face red.

“Also, don’t do anything illegal, nothing in public-”

“Why would I do anything in public?!” he interrupted in bewilderment.

“It’s all well and good until the cops show up and take you back to your parents and spare no detail. Not that you’ll have to worry about that part ‘cause you’re eighteen, but-”

“Are you speaking from experience?” Peter asked, looking as thought he didn’t really want to know the answer.

“Yeah, not my proudest moment. Never did anything like it again. Dad certainly wasn’t pleased but I think he was more angry that it was with a guy. Look, the point it, don’t do anything you’re not one hundred percent comfortable with, and don’t do anything that your partner isn’t one hundred percent comfortable with. Don’t let anyone convince you or persuade you into anything, always stick with your initial gut instinct. Persuaded consent to anything is not consent.”

Rhodey nodded, and looked back to Tony. “You’ve talked about protection? Shown him how to use a condom?”

Tony pulled a face. “What do you mean shown him?”

“With a banana, you dipshit”

“I really don’t think that’s necessary-” Peter cut in, only to be cut off himself.

“Oh, of course! I’ll be right back.”

The teenager let out a strangled whine and curled in on himself when Tony hurried away to fetch the items. Rhodey turned back to Peter with an amused smirk.

“I don’t like you anymore,” the boy declared childishly.

“You gotta know this stuff, kid,” he replied innocently.

“What if I ran away? Like right now.”

“Then he would go after you in the suit and make sure the entire city hears it.”

“Aw, fuck.”

“I’m back!” Tony announced happily, returning to his spot on the couch and handing Rhodey the banana. “Hold it- there you go.” He held the banana up while Tony tore open the condom wrapper and discarded it to the side. When he started rolling it onto the fruit, Peter rolled off the couch in despair, landing on the ground with a loud thud.

“I just wanna make sure you’re prepared, Pete,” Tony said calmly.

“I am prepared, Tony, and I was when I had sex.”

There was a ringing silence that was only broken by the thud of the half-covered banana hitting the floor.

“I’m flattered by the shock, I truly am.”

“I’m not- I just- …Rhodey?” he looked to the man helplessly.

“What do you want me to say, man? I wasn’t expecting that either.”

“Thanks,” Peter replied dryly.

“But… who? And when?”

Peter finally lifted his head to look at the two men.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“Uh, I don’t think so? I gotta admit, I’m kind of curious, but I also don’t want to know… Does May know?”

“Yeah… it wasn’t really intentional, though.”

Tony’s eyes widened. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Wait, what? No, that’s not- she didn’t- I told her.”

“You unintentionally told her? How does that happen?” Rhodey sniggered.

“I don’t do well with hiding stuff like that. I did the same thing the first time I watched porn - I kinda just blurted it out, I couldn’t really stop myself. She couldn’t stop me either.”

Peter burned red when Rhodey and Tony both burst into laughter.

“Yeah, I know, shut up.”

Tony looked at him fondly. “God, I love you, kid.”

#irondad and spiderson #peter parker #tony stark #irondad fanfiction

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dovakhiindrabbles · 6 years ago

Text

Hello Everyone!! I hope you’ve all had a lovely time!! Personally, these past few weeks have been the roughest I’ve experienced in a long while but I’m still doing my best to be positive! So, I thought to get my mind off things I’d do a bit more elaboration on an important figure in Rosie’s life: Ma’vani!

Ma’vani, Rosie’s uncle, is a former Aldemeri assassin who met Indeela while on the run after refusing to murder an assigned target. (and even helping them escape -- but that’ll be elaborated on later!) He stumbles into Indeela’s office, desperate to hide from the impending Aldemeri forces, and while she reluctantly helps him, the two bicker the entire time. In spite of the poor first impression, however, Hanee and Ehsan agree to let him stay and hide -- if he’s willing to help around.

Ma’vani of course, agrees and spends most of his time pestering helping Indeela with her designs. Indeela begins to teach him how to sketch and design and Ma’vani is ridiculously excited all the while. He loves the colors, structure, and form -- he’s incredibly passionate and determined to make her proud, and Indeela eventually has to admit he’s not the absolute worst.

Maybe he’s even kind of sweet

To thank her for all her help in keeping him safe, Ma’vani tries to plan a special evening for the two (Totally friendly, cause there’s no way he caught feelings nuh-uh), he even sewed a dress for her! (Of which, Ehsan had to help) Everything is going well, even great! Yet it all comes to a screeching halt when Aldemeri officials, led by inside forces, seek out Ma’vani once again and attempt to put him under arrest for execution.

Indeela flips out, alongside the rest of the collective family, and Hanee, thankfully a naturally cautious man, somehow managed to never step on the toes of the Dominion, and figures a very tentative deal with the officials to save Ma’vani’s life:

Ma’vani can never leave the walls of Solitude and will suffer severe consequences if ever caught for another crime, but he can keep his life -- and the entire hold was seemingly able to breathe once again.

It’s a grand change for Ma’vani, who spent so many years of his life traveling all throughout the world -- seeing each and every inch Tamriel has to offer -- and perhaps now that he can’t, he wants to explore more than ever, if only to show Indeela. Nonetheless, Ma’vani won’t have the other option -- no traveling would be worth it anyhow without her. Being the genius he is however, Ma’vani blurts this out loud.

From that point on, as Indeela tries to settle Ma’vani into domestic life, both begin to awkwardly walk around their feelings -- both a mix of too embarassed and too prideful. It’s a bit of a disaster until Adnan steps forward, having a deep heart-to-heart with his baby sister. Ma’vani, on the other hand, is given an extreme burst of courage from the firecracker that is Rosalie, and both Ma’vani and Indeela try to confess to one another at the same time -- they keep speaking over each other and then stopping to let the other speak -- it’s a wonder they get anywhere but they do admit their feelings.

In the following years, they get married, and might even have a child, Ma’vani took up painting all his free-time and is known for his street-pieces stretching along the winding roads of Solitude (and rambling about how cute his wife is). Despite Ma’vani’s new life, he does still maintain a very tense relationship with the remaining Aldemeri officials within the hold -- especially with the rise of Ulfric, rumors begin to rise of the Khajit joining forces with the Stormcloaks in exchange for his freedom. Few do know of his connections to the outside world after all... (I’d like to elaborate on this later but I’d be happy to answer any questions in regards to it!)

Personality-Wise Ma’vani is a very impulsive individual who doesn’t usually think through everything he says or does before he says or does it. He truly does mean well, however, and his quick wit and secretly kind heart more than makes up for it. He’s chatty too and is easy to befriend or just converse with -- he’s a bit more used to talking rather than listening but he can be surprisingly comforting if the situation calls for it -- not that he’s very good at reading a situation. He’s trying, and that’s what matters.

While he’s no longer involved in the world of assassination, he was once very adept with poisons and a pair of blades. He’s still admittedly extremely agile and nimble, and could beat Rosie in a race any day (but gets his ass beat in an arm-wrestling contest)

With Rosalie especially he proudly holds the title of favorite uncle. (He’s very protective of the title as Isran enters the family -- not that he had to worry) He very much relates to and is charmed by her desire for adventure and zeal for life. The two get easily excited over everything, but on a deeper note, Ma’vani is one of the few who can relate to Rosalie’s feelings of alienation among Skyrim society. He provides a great deal of needed support to her and is partly to blame for her cockiness. In spite of his closeness to Rosalie, he’s exceedingly intimidated by both Adnan and Emeline.

He adores Ehsan, and the two spent many evenings trying to figure out plans to make a bold man out of Hanee -- that or pranks, they’re avid fans of both.

Fun Facts

- Ma’vani calls Indeela ‘Nightingale’ for her brooding and snippy nature when they first met. He’d even call her ‘Nightie’ if he really wanted to push her buttons, but now it’s morphed into a loving nickname for his beloved.

- Ma’vani and Aisha are the most annoying pair of best friends anyone has ever met. They’re the exact opposite of the two sisters at the Radient Raiment, but you might lose your mind listening to them prattle on and on, but they’ll have fun anyways. (Makna has to take Ma’vani away so Aisha can work or she’ll get too distracted most of the time)

- Ma’vani doesn’t talk much of his own family much anymore. It hurts his heart too much to think of it, knowing he can never see them -- but Rosie vows to help him, and as she becomes a hero, she intends to keep her promise.

- He has quite the sweet tooth! He was, in fact, the first to introduce Rosie to her favorite treat, lavender dumplings!

- A humongous cuddle-bug

- Ma’vani does very much so like the worst and cheesiest puns to ever grace the planet, and he just loves trying them out on shop vendors throughout the day -- he finds it almost funniest when they’re deadpan. (He thinks almost anything is funny if it’s coming out of his mouth -- he’s the funniest person he knows) He and Ehsan are very competitive in terms of who can come up with the worst joke.

- Ma’vani’s torn ear was a recent occurrence during his time with the Aldemeri officials awaiting his fate. It’s left him mostly deaf in that ear, and there was an immense adjustment period as he learned to adapt. He’s not very proud of the scar though, seeing it as a reminder of his past.

Anyhow, that’s just about a good basis for Ma’vani’s character! I’m hoping to release a couple prompts involving him, Rosalie, Indeela, and other members of the Rosalie family! I would like to begin releasing parts on Emeline’s part of the family, but Adnan’s got a huge family of his own with a whole lot of personality! Goodness, it’s just the beginning and there’s so much to explore -- I’m honestly so excited!

If you’d like any other information about the Rosieverse, here are some links:

Rosalie Bio

Rosalie’s Parents (Emeline and Adnan)

Eldrims Bio

Eldrims Past

Adnan’s Side of Family

#Skyrim #tes #the elder scrolls #roseiverse #Rosieverse #Rosieverse: Ma'vani #Ma'vani #Khajit

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masshirohebi-moved · 6 years ago

Note

1.) For Oro-Hakase) He knows their birthday, only because he asked, at the time, for the purpose of astrology, he'd used as an excuse. But really, it was because Orochimaru has done so much for him in all these months and Izuna wishes for them to know he respects and admittedly (cares) enough to remember such a thing as their birthday and prepare for it. The signed present he's left on their study desk is giant dusty tome holding information on every known clan the Uchiha has come across...

❝ 2. since they began keeping records a few generations back. He remembers they mentioned something of their ancestry, of a lost past. Perhaps they will find answers there, or perhaps not. Either way, he will be far less inflammatory today even if Orochimaru gets snippy with him. He takes these days seriously and this is an opportunity to partly return all the gifts Orochimaru has given him that he can never truly repay. ❞

Birthday Wishes // @izunaismsThe date has escaped their mind entirely, too irrelevant a moment in time to be acknowledged, let alone celebrated. And something about becoming immortal, about losing the value for time altogether, makes them twice as able to simply shed the tradition. They have never been one to partake in festivities. Even sentimental ones, that serve as the only link to their past at all. But a grim past it was indeed, perhaps having nothing to hold on to for so long, has made them incredibly good at letting go. But as easy as it would be to simply let go of every part that made them human, timelessly, throughout history, people tend to call it back to them. Comrades, friends, sometimes even enemies. When golden eyes fall on to the tome so neatly placed upon their desk, they are drawn to it like a moth to a flame. It would seem Izuna, was too going to be one of these people. They hadn’t thought he would remember the day, perhaps the month, since he took some interest in astrology, or so they thought. Yet down to the day seemed particularly well memorized. They decide it indicates he had in fact, kept the information purposefully. Slender fingers ghost over the cover of the ancient scripture, and what a truly captivating gift. If anyone knew the serpent well, and it appeared the Uchiha did, then they would know the viper valued knowledge more than anything the universe had to offer. A tome such as this was lost in the time they came from, yet so perfectly in tact, so perfectly preserved, in this one. And once in the serpents grasp, it would certainly survive the trip through the past this time.They have duties for the day, yet they can not help becoming side tracked. Fingers ghosting over the pages, turning each one as if it were made of something far more fragile than inked paper. Chatoyont eyes meandering down the page to take in every word, reading clan name after clan name. A subject of true interest to them, for personal reasons, and simply for the hobby of collecting forbidden techniques. Lost clans tended to have the best ones - they feel particularly gifted to get this information when they walk a land where many of these lost clans still exist.They lose themself for a good hour in the tome, drawn away only by the impatient flicker of a forked tongue. Their reptilian companion having briefly been happy to bask in a stray beam of sun upon the desk for an extra few minutes. But now, they would need to leave immediately from their tent to be at the next meeting. At their dear summon won’t forget to remind them of this. A meeting that they likely weren’t very welcome at, yet attended regardless under the permission of Izuna. And as always, they seek him out first when they approach the higher ranking Uchiha. This time, it isn’t so much to stay out of trouble, for they can’t be bothered to explain they aren’t here to commit a crime, but merely to pass the clans heir a brief extension of gratitude.“Thank you,” they say lightly, walking beside him as they filter in to the tent with the other Uchiha, “for the tome.”They keep their head covered, a hood drawn loosely around a slender figure. Hiding their expression from him, hiding the touch of a smile upon their lips. Even indoors, they tend to keep themself covered up. Lest a spy from an enemy camp stumble upon them. They would rather there be no visual evidence a non Uchiha was aiding the clan. They’d rather keep such secrets to benefit said clan, “I can say I’ve done it all now. To be wished on a birthday, before I have even been born.”

#izunaisms #||●ANSWERED-❝disclosed❞#Oro is ganna be scarce for a while now :')#way too buried in that book lmao #thank you for the wishes <3

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mistleto-3 · 7 years ago

Text

After All This Time

When Misaki realises one of the members of the clan he’s just joined is an old childhood friend from before he came out as a trans man, he expects things to very badly.

Pairing: Kamamoto Rikio/(trans male!)Yata Misaki

9,207 words. Fluff, angst, smut. CW: mentions of internalised homophobia and mild transphobia. Mentions of past unrequited saru/mi, and of miko/totsu.

For @k-rarepair-week 2018, Day 2: Alternate Universe.

AO3 | Ko-Fi

Ah, shit.

As Tatara introduced Misaki and Saruhiko to their new clan, it finally clicked in Misaki’s head why that blond guy looked so familiar.

“I’m Kamamoto Rikio, nice to meet you.”

His best friend when he was about 7 years old had been called Kamamoto, too. Except back then he’d been chubby and meek, and now he was tall and lithe, his hair reaching down to his collar, and a welcoming smile spreading across his handsome face. Then again, Misaki had looked very different when they were kids too. He greeted the two new members with kind confidence. Misaki hadn’t seen the spark of recognition he was dreading in his eyes yet, but maybe Rikio just had a good poker face.

Still, Rikio didn’t say anything aside from that, so the brief jolt of fear that Rikio would out him to his new clan slowly subsided as the rest of the members introduced themselves.

Or at least, it subsided until Rikio approached him later on in the day. Misaki was by himself – Saruhiko had left not long before, saying his PDA battery was nearly dead so he wanted to head out to get his charger (though Misaki thought it was likely someone would have a compatible charger handy, but Saruhiko had left before Misaki had a chance to suggest he ask around). The moment Rikio sat down beside him, out of earshot of the rest of the patrons of the bar and a conspicuously short while after Misaki had been left alone, suspicion flared in Misaki’s gut.

“So… I thought you looked familiar earlier but I couldn’t quite put my finger on where I knew you from…” Rikio began, and Misaki felt himself tense, like a dog raising its hackles. “And it clicked a little while later but it seemed like something that should be discussed privately. We were friends when we were kids, weren’t we?”

“What’s it to you?” Misaki wondered in the back of his mind if maybe he shouldn’t be so snippy towards his new clan members if he was supposed to be making friends, but it had just sort of slipped out that way. The alarm he’d thought had vanished had flared up again with a vengeance, and he quickly found himself on the defensive. Panic was beginning to constrict his chest; Homra was supposed to be his new start where nobody knew, where he could just be himself without having to worry about the looks he’d get behind his back. To have it ruined so soon…

“Well, I remember you as, well, a girl, but Totsuka-san referred to you with masculine pronouns, and I just wanted to make sure…”

“Yeah, I’m a dude now, so what?” Misaki hissed. “You lost a bunch of weight but I ain’t gonna go around telling everyone you used to be fat when you were a kid, and if you know what’s best for you…”

Looking somewhat taken aback by Misaki’s aggression, Rikio interrupted: “Oh, no no, I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry. I just wanted to make sure I really had gotten the right person, and so I knew how to refer to you – you still use the same name, right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t like people calling me by my first name…” Admittedly, Misaki was a little caught off guard by how Rikio was handling this – he didn’t have much experience with people just accepting that he was transgender like it was no big deal.

“I can’t say I know much about this kind of stuff, but we were friends, so you can trust me. I won’t tell the others. Can’t say I ever really saw you as a girl anyway… you were always different to Ayumi and everyone else I knew. But like I said, I’m not super educated on all this stuff…”

“Ask away,” Misaki grumbled. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to be so accommodating; he supposed he felt bad for snapping at Rikio pre-emptively, and part of him was just… weirded out by how nice he was being. “But not about any weird stuff!”

“Does anyone else know?”

“Just Fushimi. We went to the same middle school before I was out. I don’t figure anyone else needs to.”

“And… pardon me if I phrase this wrong… how do you look so much… well, like a guy?”

“I get a shot of testosterone in my ass every few weeks.”

“Ahh, I didn’t know that was a thing people could do… I almost didn’t recognise you, it was only when Totsuka-san said your name that I realised who you were. I won’t ask you too much about the details, just… is there anything you don’t want me to say or call you, or anything you don’t want me to do…?”

“Just don’t say girly shit about me, and call me by my family name and not my first name, and obviously don’t tell anyone, otherwise it’s fine.”

Rikio nodded, seeming satisfied, and then to Misaki’s relief he changed the subject. “I always wondered what became of you after I moved away, you know. I missed you, and I’m glad you’re at Homra; it’s good to see you after all this time. We should catch up some time – I just bought a bunch of new games in the sales, do you still like playing video games?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You could come over some time and we could hang out… Maybe not exactly like old times ‘cause we’re grown up and stuff now.”

“You mean you’re thin and I’m a guy?”

Rikio chuckled. “I’m not always, you know. I just lose my appetite in the warmer months, but as soon as autumn rolls around, I put it all back on again.”

“That’s weird.”

“Says you,” Rikio poked back, but his tone was gentle and he was smiling. It was a bit like the playful but harmless banter he’d seen the other clan members exchanging all day. He seemed genuinely happy to see his old friend, and for the most part unperturbed by how different he looked now. He just spoke to him the way he spoke to everyone else.

It was then that Misaki realised that, for the first time, he was really one of the guys. And it felt good.

Maybe it was that feeling that made Misaki leave Saruhiko on the backburner, but he was just so quiet and gloomy all the time, and it was difficult to include him when he sat off in some corner of the bar on his PDA, while Misaki wanted to hang out with his new guy friends, and with Rikio. It was refreshing to reconnect with his old friend again, especially when Rikio had seemingly taken it upon himself to be as supportive as humanly possible. He had obviously done hours of research after learning that Misaki was a trans man, and started doing things like reminding Misaki to take his binder off when he’d been wearing it too long, offering to teach him how to shave his facial hair when pubescent stubble started to sprout across his jawline, and yelling at the other clansmen whenever they made jokes in poor taste, even though they were never directed a Misaki.

Misaki even eventually started to feel comfortable talking about that sort of stuff with him – asking Rikio if his voice seemed lower, going to him to celebrate the little bits of progress, like the muscle gain he’d been noticing, and the trail of wiry hairs leading down from his belly button. Rikio always greeted the announcements with enthusiasm and support. He had even offered to travel with Misaki to Thailand for top surgery out of his own pocket when Misaki could afford the procedure, and he’d gently advised Misaki to speak to Izumo about helping to fund it, but hadn’t pressed the matter when Misaki had refused.

As worried as Misaki had been when he joined Homra, Rikio’s kindness had eased his fears as he got settled in the clan and got to know everyone, and nobody gave him odd looks or snickered behind his back. He was one of the guys – nobody treated him like he was fragile, or offered to carry heavy things for him, nobody pulled their punches because they were worried he couldn’t hold his own, and it was a dream come true. It wasn’t long before Misaki started to feel like he belonged, rather than feeling like some imposter who everyone just saw as a girl. For the first time in a really long time, he was truly happy.

And then Saruhiko betrayed him.

It took Misaki a long time to finally wander out of the dark alleyway where his old friend had left him; he had stood there for ten minutes in shock after he’d walked away, so numb he could barely move, barely even think.

When his limbs finally started cooperating again, the first place he thought to go to was Rikio’s. When he arrived, his shock had given way to rage, and he was pissed, ranting and raving and pacing around the living room as he yelled about the nerve of him, how dare he disrespect Homra that way. It was only when he’d shouted himself hoarse that he finally collapsed onto the couch beside his friend, and suddenly hot tears were pricking in his eyes and there was nothing he could do to stop them spilling over. Rikio put his arm around him and pulled him in to weep against his shoulder.

Misaki didn’t know how long he cried for, but nothing he did would stop the flood of tears, stop the ragged breaths tearing up his throat. Every sob mortified him a little more.

“Y-you better not tell anyone about this,” he warned weakly, when he’d finally cried himself out, his voice still thick with tears.

“Your secrets are safe with me,” Rikio reassured. “But being upset doesn’t make you any less of a man, you know. Men are allowed to feel emotions too, you’re allowed to be sad and cry, especially in a situation like this. Don’t bottle it up. If you need to cry, cry – even through tears, you could still beat up anyone who dared to make fun of you.”

Misaki felt a little better after that.

Slowly, he started to heal, but feeling better only came with a lot of help from Rikio. Misaki spent a lot of nights at his friend’s place in those first few weeks, ranting or drinking or crying or distracting himself, doing whatever he could think of to try and take the edge off as Rikio listened without complaint. And when Misaki had shown up on his doorstep one day, teary-eyed with a sharps container and a vial, mumbling about how Saruhiko had always given him his T shots before and Misaki was no good at it, Rikio agreed without hesitation to take over the duty.

Eventually, all the yelling and crying and not thinking about it kind of worked. Missing his friend didn’t hurt all the time anymore, and the keen pang of the knowledge that he was gone, which sometimes had hurt so much that Saruhiko might as well have burned off Misaki’s insignia as well as his own, slowly faded into an intermittent ache. Eventually, it subsided to the point that sometimes, it didn’t bother him at all, like a broken bone that had healed up, but when you moved just so the scarring would twinge, reminding him impatiently not to forget about the pain all together. Some days it hurt worse than others. Some days it really stung to remember that the first person who had known about him and supported him for who he was, the person who he’d thought would be by his side forever, was gone now.

But no matter what, Rikio was always there for him, even on the worst days. And Misaki was sure he wouldn’t have healed as fast if it wasn’t for him.

And then all of a sudden Rikio started acting… weird. It was a few months after Saruhiko had left when his personality seemed to morph completely in the space of a few days. He became oddly quiet, he didn’t ask Misaki to hang out so much anymore, he seemed distracted, almost nervous, and whilst he was unfailingly there for Misaki when the rage or the sadness bubbled back to the surface, the rest of the time he seemed weirdly distant. Like he was uncomfortable or something. Misaki immediately jumped to the worst conclusions – maybe he was embarrassed by Misaki getting upset, or he was uncomfortable or didn’t want to help him anymore, maybe he was weirded out by giving Misaki his T shots, weirded out by Misaki being trans in general, maybe now he’d had some time to think about it he wasn’t cool with it after all, maybe he still saw Misaki as a girl and was uncomfortable around him because of it, maybe, maybe, maybe…

It was a while before Misaki snapped – as much as the worries about why his friend was acting like this chased each other around in his head, equally, he was almost embarrassed to say something about it. After a couple of weeks or so, he reluctantly came to the conclusion that he was scared of losing Rikio too, of him leaving just like Saruhiko had left, and confronting him would make all of this real. It might even be the last straw in making Rikio abandon him too.

Since Misaki joined Homra, Rikio had slowly become his best friend, the person he trusted the most, the person he always thought of first to talk to about stuff, and now he was withdrawing and Misaki was terrified to admit he was terrified. Confronting Rikio about his weird behaviour would mean acknowledging he really was pulling away, and Misaki was growing more and more petrified of losing him, because he was coming to the uncomfortable conclusion that he cared about Rikio more than anyone else in the world. Rikio was like his safe place, his comrade in arms, the person who always had his back no matter what. It was sort of scary to care about him this much, after the last person who he’d gotten this close to had abandoned him…

Was he as close as he’d been to Saruhiko?

That was kind of an alarming thought.

Because, if Misaki was completely honest with himself, he had sort of had a crush on his old best friend. And by ‘sort of’ he meant he was almost definitely in love with him, which was why it had broken him so much when he left.

Of course, Misaki was never honest with himself, partly because he had this idea in his head that being in love with a man was a girly thing, and that being gay meant being effeminate and having a lisp and all of these things that made Misaki really uncomfortable. Manly guys went out and picked up hot girls, right? (Not that Misaki could do that seeing as women mildly terrified him – he had never been good at relating to them before he came out, and the other girls had always picked on him for being tomboyish, and now he just felt awkward around them because he knew he was supposed to think they were hot, but the feelings just wouldn’t come no matter how hard he willed them to.) Besides, guys also didn’t talk about their feelings with their guy friends, so he resolved not to talk to Rikio about how he felt about his behaviour, no matter how much it stung.

But as stubbornly as he pretended not to feel the feelings, no amount of pretending they didn’t exist would stop them gnawing at him, and as summer rolled around, he found himself sitting grumpily by himself in the corner of the bar as pretty girl after pretty girl flirted with Rikio, and Misaki found himself resenting every flutter of their eyelashes and every flirty giggle. He practically exuded irritability as he seethed quietly by himself, the aura of malice warning away anyone who might have dared come near.

When Rikio finally seemed to notice his sour mood, he disentangled himself from the girls keeping him company and came over to sit beside his friend, Misaki was almost taken aback that he even bothered.

“You alright?” Rikio asked softly, and something about his caring tone made Misaki bristle.

“Yeah,” Misaki grumbled unconvincingly.

“What’s bothering you?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Is it about Fushimi?”

“No,” Misaki hissed.

“Would you feel better if we got out of here?”

“I wouldn’t wanna pull you away from your friends over there.” He couldn’t quite keep the sarcasm out of his tone.

“I’m not really interested, Kusanagi-san just likes me to chat the female patrons up a bit, then they buy more drinks.”

Misaki clicked his tongue.

“There’s no harm in it.”

There was a moment of quiet.

“Are you jealous…?” Rikio hazarded.

Misaki panicked for a moment before realising that Rikio was probably asking if Misaki was jealous that Rikio was getting all this attention and he wasn’t, and not if Misaki was jealous over Rikio being flirted with.

“N-no!”

“Because you’re a handsome guy, you’re just a little more intimidating, it isn’t that girls don’t like you, they’re just a little nervous talking to you.”

“I don’t care if girls don’t wanna talk to me.” The words escaped before Misaki intended them to, but thankfully Rikio didn’t look too far into it.

“Shall we go back to mine and play video games or something? It’s kinda stuffy in here anyway,” Rikio asked again, seemingly ignoring the implications of what Misaki had just said.

“…Fine,” he conceded, giving in to his sudden desire for Rikio to be as far away from the flirtatious patrons as possible. But for the rest of the way back to Rikio’s, Misaki was deathly silent, almost suspicious of his friend’s kindness, and Rikio made no further attempt to pester him for an explanation.

Indeed, they barely spoke at all the rest of the afternoon, besides Rikio offering him a drink and asking if there was a game he preferred to play, and the silence grew more and more unbearable until Misaki finally tossed his controller down onto the couch in frustration.

“Yata-san, are you okay? You’ve been acting weird all day…”

“Well you’ve been acting weird for weeks!” Misaki countered hotly. He hadn’t meant to bring it up, not in that moment, or indeed ever, but the words bubbled up in his throat like bile before he could swallow them back. “What is it that’s bugging you? Why are you avoiding me? Do you think I’m pathetic for being hung up over that asshole, do you think I’m weak for being upset? Do you want me to just get the fuck over it already? Or did you finally figure out you’re weird about me being trans after all, and you just didn’t know how to say it?! Why are you treading on eggshells around me?!”

Rikio simply looked shocked by the outburst and he said softly: “No… It’s nothing like any of that…”

“Then what is it?!”

“I’m just… nervous…” the quiet sadness in Rikio’s voice almost made Misaki feel bad – he’d never seen Rikio subdued like this before, but his vision was still tinted a little too crimson for the guilt to break through.

“About what?” he snapped.

Rikio seemed hesitant for a second, and in that moment, dozens of awful possibilities of what he might say thundered into Misaki’s consciousness all at once.

Rikio inhaled deeply, then released it in a shaky exhale before finally saying: “Since Fushimi left, we’ve been spending so much time together, and at first I didn’t really realise what it was… When we were kids, I sort of had this puppy crush on you, but obviously nothing ever came of it because I was too shy to say anything… We were kids anyway, it’s not like anything could have happened… Anyway, being with you all the time I sort of felt like that again, except it was stronger, a lot stronger. I didn’t even know I was really into guys that much but it’s kind of… I don’t know, I’ve had crushes and girlfriends before but this felt… different. More intense. And I had a lot of figuring stuff out to do – like I said, being into a guy was kind of a shock, and I needed some time to think over it all, but I didn’t want to leave you alone if you were still having a rough time of it so I just didn’t say anything…” His pauses between phrases were lengthy and uncertain, as though he was having difficulty stringing the words together and directing them out of his mouth, and he didn’t make eye contact as he spoke. “S-so yeah… now you know…”

Misaki stared at his friend, dumbfounded. Even if he had the slightest idea what to say, he couldn’t have mustered the ability to form coherent speech if he tried. His anger had evaporated, leaving behind nothing but astonishment. Of all the things Misaki had worried his friend was going to say, he hadn’t even considered this.

At his friend’s silence, Rikio seemed to wilt, taking it as a bad sign. “S-sorry…” he began.

At the expression on Rikio’s face and the kicked puppy look about him, Misaki’s ability to speak rematerialized all at once, and he interrupted: “N-no! Don’t be…” He paused. “Sorry for being a dick.”

“You had a right to be upset with me, I shouldn’t have let it affect my behaviour.”

“I get it…”

“I don’t even know if you’re into guys…”

“N-...” Misaki opened his mouth to deny it, but even the first sound rang false, as much as he didn’t want to believe it. “…I dunno. Aren’t most gay guys like… really into Lady Gaga and girly shit and they talk like this,” Misaki said, putting on an exaggerated impression of the stereotypical gay lisp.

“Not necessarily. There are some men like that, but you don’t have to be like that to be gay, or to be interested in men at all. And you don’t have to be gay to be into guys, you could be bisexual or pansexual or something like that.”

Misaki pursed his lips. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember ever having a crush on a girl. Even when he was figuring out his gender and toyed with the idea that his disconnect with his own identity might be because he was a lesbian, even then he had never really been attracted to girls. But still…

“I’m into guys, apparently, and I’m not effeminate…”

“Are you sure, though?”

“Yata-san, since you first joined Homra I haven’t seen you as anything but a guy, okay? Besides, I’m not the only guy in Homra who’s into men and isn’t all those stereotypical things you mentioned - so is Mikoto-san,” Rikio pointed out.

“Mikoto-san is gay?!” Now that was a revelation.

“I don’t know if he’s gay or something else, but he does like guys. You didn’t know that? Have you not seen the way he looks at Totsuka-san?”

Misaki looked at him blankly.

“I guess you aren’t all that experienced with that stuff, so you might not have noticed...”

“J-just looking at a guy doesn’t make someone gay…” Misaki grumbled.

“I’ve walked in on them making out more than once.”

“…Okay yeah I guess that does.”

“If you are into guys, you don’t have to change anything about yourself, you can still just be you how you are now. There are lots of masculine gay men. And liking men doesn’t make you just a straight girl masquerading as a guy or fetishizing gay men or anything, I know there are people that say that but they’re talking out of their asses.”

Misaki nodded slowly, chewing over what Rikio had said.

“Obviously, there’s no pressure to give an answer on what I’ve said right away, or to say yes… If you’re still figuring yourself out it’s okay not to want a relationship or anything,” Rikio said quietly. There was an air of nervousness about him.

Misaki let out a long sigh, looking at his friend. Knowing that Mikoto had a boyfriend but was still strong and cool and didn’t do girly stuff had completely altered his perspective. Whenever his crushes on Saruhiko and then Rikio had flared past the point of idle fantasy and wandered into the territory of actively daydreaming about what it’d be like to be with them, it had always sort of stoked his dysphoria. He supposed it had something to do with the idea that he hated the idea of being the “girl” in any relationship, or needing to be effeminate in order to be with a man. If that wasn’t the case…

Now, when he let himself imagine kissing his friend or holding his hand, the twinge of discomfort kept quiet.

After a long moment, Misaki finally piped up quietly: “D-do you wanna go for coffee together…?”

Rikio blinked in surprise. “Like a date?”

“Y-yeah…”

A small, genuine smile crossed Rikio’s lips. “I’d like that.”

They met the next day (after Misaki had spent far longer than he intended fretting over what to wear) outside a café not far from Homra, big enough that they’d have some privacy beneath the chatter of the other patrons, but still cosy. Rikio ordered some fruity iced coffee frappé thing that Misaki didn’t understand the appeal of, and Misaki just got an ice tea. They sat together in a booth near the back of the shop as Misaki teased Rikio gently about his weird girly drink.

“It’s good, I promise. Here, you shouldn’t knock it until you try it,” Rikio said, pushing the cup across the table for Misaki to take a sip.

“Fine, fine,” Misaki said, lifting the cup to his mouth, but it was only when he wrapped his lips around the straw that Rikio had just been drinking from that he realised this counted as an indirect kiss. A blush blossomed across his cheeks and he took the quickest sip he could before setting the drink back down.

“You did that on purpose, d-didn’t you?”

Rikio tilted his head. “Did what?”

“The indirect kiss!”

“O-oh… I didn’t even think of that…” Rikio confessed, a faint blush colouring his cheeks.

Misaki clicked his tongue bashfully, and he noticed Rikio smiling. “What?”

“Just think it’s… I dunno, I like it when you do that tongue click thing. It’s kind of cute.”

“S-shut up…” Misaki had always hated being called cute when he was younger, but when Rikio said it it was oddly flattering. Mostly mortifying, though.

“Anyway, what do you think of the drink?” Rikio asked, still smiling.

“It’s… not as bad as I thought, I guess,” he confessed.

Rikio smiled. "You shouldn't knock things until you try them."

Misaki rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine, the girly drink is okay."

After that, they changed the subject, mostly chatting about idle stuff as they sipped their drinks. Misaki found himself unreasonably anxious the entire time, even though he'd gotten a drink with his friend countless times before and chattered away with him exactly like this, putting the label of "date" on it suddenly made him very self-aware, and very aware of Rikio, every time he tucked his hair behind his ear, his every little smile, the way the glimpse of his collarbone above the neckline of his tank top made Misaki's heartbeat flutter... He tried to put it out of his mind, but he couldn't quite stop himself from staring, and he knew Rikio had noticed by the way he was blushing and shifting under his gaze.

The topic of conversation drifted after a little while onto Misaki's irritability yesterday, as Rikio tried to make sure he had really been okay, and Misaki was forced to admit (in a grumble) that Rikio had been more correct than Misaki had let on in his assessment that Misaki was jealous. Just wrong about what he'd been jealous over.

"It really bothers you that they act like that?" Rikio still didn’t seem to have caught on.

"W-well yeah, I hate how girls fawn over you in the summer and then pretend you don't even exist in the winter as if you're any less attractive." It was the truth, but it wasn't the entirety of the reason.

"I am though..."

"H-hey! You're still hot in the winter, alright?! Anyone who says you aren't just 'cause you put on a few extra pounds doesn't deserve to be able to ogle at you in the summer!" Misaki hadn't intended to be quite so vehement about it.

"You really think so?"

"I know so," he replied sternly.

A small, genuine smile flickered across Rikio's lips that made Misaki's chest feel funny, and suddenly he felt obligated to admit the truth - Rikio had been honest about how he felt for Misaki yesterday, but Misaki hadn't actually said he felt the same in so many words yet, and he wanted his friend to know that he cared about him, that he didn't have to feel self-conscious because Misaki felt that way all the time... for longer than he'd really admitted to himself, in fact.

"M-most of the reason I was jealous was because... I-I didn't want you to be flirting with anyone else...!" The confession had taken physical effort to force past his lips.

"Are you saying...?"

"I-I like you, idiot. And it pissed me off that they were all goo-goo eyes over you."

Their hands were resting on the table, and Rikio moved his own ever so slightly so that his fingertips were loosely tangled with Misaki's. "I’m glad…”

"S-so... what, are we like b-boyfriends now or something?"

"If you want to be." A glimmer of hopefulness that made Misaki's heart feel like it was melting crossed Rikio's face.

Misaki couldn't quite summon the strength to say the word yes - his head was spinning too quickly with the shock of all this, of his first real relationship, of admitting he cared about his best friend and his best friend cared about him the same way, so he just nodded, and Rikio's grasp on his hand tightened as a look of joy crossed his face.

"I want that too."

Despite how anxious and how embarrassed Misaki was to be in this position, where everything was so foreign to him and he had no practice or experience to guide him, he found himself smiling. Yeah, he didn't really know what he was doing, or how relationships worked or what one was supposed to do when they were dating someone of their own gender and how to navigate coming to terms with his sexuality or how his gender identity would fit within all this, but he found himself excited to figure it out along the way if he could have Rikio by his side.

By then, their drinks were empty, and the pair made a move to leave, though as they wandered out of the café, Misaki found Rikio once again twining their fingers, and when he looked up at his friend - boyfriend in surprise, Rikio merely smiled, and moved to loosen the grip in case Misaki was uncomfortable, but Misaki squeezed his hand tighter. Holding his hand felt good; his fingers were warm and soft and seemed to fit perfectly between Misaki's own, and Misaki found he enjoyed the sensation more than he ever expected to. The realisation that they were together, that he could do this whenever he wanted, took caught Misaki off guard. It had all happened in such an understated way that he could barely even process that it was real. Suddenly his head was filled with a whirlpool of fantasies that he hadn't dared think about before - what it would be like to cuddle with him, not just a friendly hug or an embrace when one of them was upset, but proper romantic cuddling, and then there was kissing, which Misaki couldn't even think about without turning red.

"I d-don't wanna go home yet," Misaki blurted out suddenly.

"Me neither. Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere…"

Rikio gave this little affectionate smile, obviously able to tell Misaki was a little overwhelmed, so he took the lead and guided Misaki to a park not far away, where the two of them took a seat on a bench in the shade of a tree.

They were quiet for a moment, and then Rikio spoke up tentatively. "I don't wanna make this a focal point of our relationship or anything, but I want to ask now, just so I don't mess up or hurt you or make you uncomfortable... Is there anything... like, are there any ground rules you wanna set in regards to you being trans? Anything you want me to do or don't want me to do?"

"Not that you aren't already doing. Just... don't treat me different than you would any other guy, and don't talk about me the way you'd talk about a girl; don't call me pretty or anything like that. And don't like... look at my chest when I don't have my binder on. O-obviously if we're spending a lot of time together I won't be able to wear it all the time..."

"That's fine. I can do that. If I do anything that you don't like, don't be afraid to let me know."

"Okay, thanks."

Rikio gave him that comforting smile again, then slid his arm gently around his shoulders. There was an air of shyness about the way he moved that somehow made Misaki feel better - at least he wasn't the only one who was embarrassed about all this. Rikio had more experience than him, though, and he found himself incredibly self-conscious as he worried for far too long over where he should put his hand, before finally settling on wrapping it around Rikio's waist.

"You know... there's something people generally do on dates that we haven't done yet..."

"Like what?"

"Kiss..."

Misaki spluttered in surprise. As much as it was an obvious first step, and he had at least considered it as a possibility, he wasn't emotionally prepared in the slightest, and the mention of the word made his heartbeat stutter.

"We don't have to..." Rikio reassured immediately,

"N-no... I just... n-never kissed anyone before..." Misaki admitted.

"Really?"

"W-why the tone of surprise?!" Misaki found himself more defensive than he'd intended.

"Well, you're a nice guy, and you're handsome, I thought somebody would have by now..."

"I was never interested in dating, I guess, too much other shit going on, and then by the time I had that stuff sorted I didn't really have any friends or anything."

Rikio nodded. "That makes sense."

"I-I'm kind of glad you'll be my first though..."

Rikio met his eyes with a genuine warmth in his smile that made that funny feeling in Misaki's chest resurge with a vengeance, and without him really even noticing, he found that the two of them were leaning in towards one another; it caught him by surprise when he felt the whisper of Rikio's breath on his lips. There was a drawn out pause, and then the space between them seemed to close without either of them really deciding to make it so. Rikio's lips were softer than Misaki expected, warm, gentle as they moved against Misaki's. His whole body tingled at the sensation, like static on a television, and he lost himself in the shock that he was really kissing his best friend. There was none of the stereotypical fireworks or a sense that everything was suddenly okay with the world or a feeling that he was seeing in colour for the first time, but in a way Misaki hadn't really expected that; it sounded like romance novel crap. In a way, this was better. The warm surrealness of the contact, the care in the way Rikio's lips guided Misaki's own, the way Rikio's grip on Misaki's shirt was just a little too tight, as though he was trying to make sure this was really happening... it felt good, safe. As much as Misaki's heartbeat was thundering in his ears from anxiety and how new and dreamlike this all seemed, Rikio made him feel grounded.

When they finally broke apart, Misaki's cheeks were flushed, but he could feel himself grinning.

"I could get used to that," Rikio concluded, and Misaki nodded in eager agreement.

When they eventually, after many more tentative kisses and a very drawn out goodbye (and the insistence from Rikio that Misaki text him when he got back home safe), parted ways and headed back home, Misaki couldn't stop smiling the whole way.

And then the flash of familiar royal blue fabric showed up to ruin a perfect day. He saw it rounding the corner as he headed down a shortcut through an alleyway, and froze in his tracks as his ex-friend came into view.

"What the fuck are you doing in this part of town, monkey?!"

"Clan business. I wouldn't expect you to understand, just don't get in my way."

"Are you calling me stupid?!" Misaki fumed.

"Mi-sa-ki, if I was going to insult you, I would be more overt about it so I could be sure you'd get the hint."

"Get the fuck out of here before I beat your ass to a pulp. And I told you not to use that name!"

"I'd like to see you try, Mi~Sa~Ki~! What's got you so happy today, anyway? Having fun being Mikoto's pet?"

"None of your fucking business."

"Finally gotten yourself a girlfriend?"

"What if I have?!" Misaki spat.

"Please, you're a terrible liar." Saruhiko stood with his arms folded in Misaki's path, drumming his fingers against his elbow with a sly grin.

"I am dating someone, asshole. What, you think nobody would want me? You should take a look in the mirror!" A part of Misaki felt a twinge of guilt using his relationship as ammunition, but the red mist had descended over him once more, and he felt himself coiling up to strike, tensing as his aura sparked around his hands. Bloodlust rose in his throat.

Saruhiko clicked his tongue. "I didn't want to waste my time on you, Mi~Sa~Ki, but you haven't left me much choice," he hissed, reaching for the hilt of his sword and drawing it with a flourish. "Fushimi, ready for emergency battle."

"Fuck your excuses!" Misaki's aura burned in earnest around his palms now, and he leaped forward to swipe at his old friend, his attacks fierce and brutal. If anything, what pissed him off the most was that Saruhiko had dared to show up to ruin this day, after they hadn't even spoken in months. It wasn't fair; just when he was finally really happy, that this happened.

The battle was intense and fiery, their auras clashing with brilliant flashes as they dodged through the narrow alleyway, attempting to avoid one another's attacks. More than once, both of them came very near to inflicting serious wounds, but Misaki was too hyped up on the adrenaline to feel the ache of the bruises.

It was only the sound of a shout echoing from the other end of the passage that drew their attention away from one another long enough for them to break apart.

"Yata-san?!"

Saruhiko clicked his tongue in irritation as Misaki whirled around to see his boyfriend, looking concerned.

"Stay out of this," Saruhiko spat.

"You're the one in Red Clan territory. If this gets escalated, it's you who'll get the short end of the stick. You should get out of here before Awashima-san or someone hears about this."

Saruhiko paused for a moment, narrowing his eyes and examining the proximity between the two Red clansmen, the way Rikio lay his hand protectively on Misaki's shoulder.

"...Oh my god, is it really Kamamoto that you're dating?" Saruhiko burst into peals of mocking laughter.

"Shut the fuck up, Monkey, just because nobody wants you," Misaki bristled, and Rikio tightened his grip on him to stop him leaping forward and attacking him again.

"You should get out of here," Rikio warned again.

Still in fits of hysterical cackling, Saruhiko turned on his heel and headed back the way he came.

"What the fuck is his problem?" Misaki muttered.

"Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine. How'd you find me?"

"You hadn't let me know you were home safe and you weren't replying... I panicked, I know I shouldn't, I just worry about you, and now I have a duty to take care of you."

"I don't need protecting."

"I know you don’t, but I also know how you get around Fushimi, if someone doesn't break you apart, you won't stop fighting until one of you has done the other serious damage. I don't want you to get hurt, or to have to live with hurting someone you once cared about that badly."

"Fine, fine..."

Rikio kissed Misaki on the forehead, then the pair of them started walking back to Misaki's place together.

"It's okay to be pissed at him," Rikio murmured.

"I'm fucking beyond pissed. How dare he make fun of you? His beef is with me and he doesn't have the right to drag you into it."

"I think maybe he's just jealous."

"What the hell of?"

"He seemed upset about 'losing' you to Homra, and I guess you dating someone in Homra is the ultimate symbol of that."

"Still doesn't give him the right."

"No, you're right, it doesn't."

"It gives me the fucking creeps the way he says my name as well. He has a lot of fucking nerve, and one day it's going to come back and bite him in the ass."

When they arrived at Misaki's apartment, Rikio set about making both of them a cup of tea in the hopes it might calm Misaki down a little, and the two of them sat down together to watch a movie. As they relaxed together on the couch, sitting much closer together than they normally would have dared to, Misaki’s fury slowly began to subside, and he allowed himself to sink into Rikio's embrace as the frustration faded. Rikio wrapped his arm around his shoulder just like earlier, and Misaki relaxed into the touch, letting his irritation out in a long, slow sigh. The gentle affection calmed him much faster than usual.

By the time the movie had gotten into the meat of the action, Misaki felt noticeably better, and he secretly attributed a fair amount of it to Rikio's patient affection. Normally, it took him much longer to simmer down after he was pissed off.

Once the last of his irritation had dwindled, Misaki finally got to process that he, once again, was in a much more intimate, much more romantic position with Rikio than he had ever really been in before, and his rage was quickly replaced by the same bashfulness as earlier. As the movie progressed, they ended up snuggling in closer to one another, almost unconsciously, but at the same time Misaki was incredibly aware of every inch that closed between them, every stroke of Rikio's fingers running through his hair absentmindedly. If anything, this felt better than the kissing - the closeness and the contentment, the almost calming effect that Rikio's gentle attention had, were all wonderfully new and electrifying. Misaki hoped he never got used to this.

Rikio, meanwhile, was distracted. He did his best not to show it, and he didn't think Misaki had caught on, and don't get him wrong, he was relishing in the casual intimacy he'd craved and dreamed of for he didn't know how long, but he was... disquieted by the interaction he'd seen between Misaki and Saruhiko earlier. Saruhiko had really gotten under Misaki's skin, and yes Misaki had said some things that were below the belt too, but there was something about the look in Misaki's eyes when Saruhiko had drawled his given name, something like a spark of pain.

Technically it wasn't Misaki's dead name - he had kept his birth name despite its feminine connotations, but it was no secret that it being used without his permission bugged him. Not that most people knew why, but Rikio would have been very surprised if Saruhiko didn't at least have an inkling about the reason. In which case, Rikio didn't know how he could in good conscience continue to use it as ammunition. He knew Saruhiko still cared about Misaki, maybe more than he'd care to admit - if he didn't, he wouldn't go to the trouble of pissing him off so much.

Without really meaning to, Rikio found himself resolving to confront Saruhiko at the nearest opportunity about his use of Misaki's name. He had no idea how it would go and whether it would be effective, but he had to at least try, for his partner's sake.

For now though, he was more than content to enjoy being settled in with the person he cared about, only half-able to concentrate on the movie playing because he was so absorbed in savouring the affection.

The next day, Rikio found himself outside the imposing gates of Sceptre 4's headquarters, sweating slightly as he rehearsed what he'd planned to say in his head. He didn't intend to tell Misaki about this little visit, per se - he knew dishonesty was a bad start to their relationship, but he knew Misaki would just resist and pretend it didn't bother him, but it wasn't like Misaki was going to have this conversation with Saruhiko himself, so something had to be done.

Rikio took a deep breath to steady himself as he rang the bell on the intercom.

"State your business."

"I'm Kamamoto Rikio of the Third and Red Clan, Homra. I've come to see Fushimi Saruhiko."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No."

There was a pause, and then: "Someone will be with you shortly."

The intercom went dead, and another long moment passed. Rikio tapped his foot, trying not to overthink what he was about to do. It was too late to turn back now. Eventually, he spotted someone crossing the courtyard - a red-haired figure in the traditional Sceptre 4 uniform. As he approached, the gate swung open, and the Blue Clansman offered a polite smile. "Kamamoto, right?"

"That's right."

"Come on through. I'm Domyoji Andy," he said with a bow. "It feels weird to meet a Red clansman and not be fighting with them."

Rikio returned the smile. "I know what you mean."

"I'll take you up to Fushimi-san's office - may I ask what business this is on? Normally our number twos coordinate stuff between clans if there's anything that needs doing..."

"It's... a personal matter, I guess."

"Ah, that's fine. I didn't think you and Fushimi were exactly friends, though? Especially not seeing as you and Yatagarasu are so close."

"No, not really... I don't think he's particularly friends with anyone in Homra."

"Yeah, none of us really know what the whole deal is with that. He doesn't talk much about it."

"Not much of a change from when he was in Homra then." Rikio couldn't help but be a little intimidated as he was led through the towering double doors into the ornate foyer of Tsubaki-Mon, across the marble tiled floor and up the stairs. Everything was gold leaf and elegant colonial architecture, it felt a world away from the homely cosiness of Bar Homra. Thankfully, Andy seemed fairly friendly, so it could have been much worse.

When they arrived at the door of the office Saruhiko was working in, Rikio took another steadying breath as Andy knocked and announced his arrival.

The "come in," that issued from behind the mahogany door couldn't have sounded any less enthusiastic if Andy had announced that someone with a highly contagious illness was popping by for a visit.

"Good luck," Andy whispered with a sympathetic smile as he opened the door for Rikio and took his leave. Rikio grimaced in return.

The office was dim as Rikio entered - the blind was still half-drawn, and Saruhiko's face was lit with an eerie blue glow by the screen of his laptop.

"What." The single blunt syllable dripped with as much disinterested animosity as Rikio thought any one person could imbue into such a short utterance.

"I came to talk to you about Yata."

"You wasted your time."

"Look, you can bullshit me all you like, but I know you care about him. He was your closest friend for a long time, and even if you hate him and hate me, there are some lines you just... shouldn't cross, because it makes you kind of a dick, even if you have a valid reason for disliking him."

"What are you talking about?" Saruhiko hissed.

"You know his first name bothers him, and if you don't know why, then you're an idiot. I know you've known him long enough to know he's trans, and I know I'm probably overstepping and being that dumb cis guy, but I don't think it's right, as much as you hate him, for you to knowingly trigger his dysphoria just to get under his skin. I think you're getting into the territory of being transphobic there, and I know that isn't you, so you should cut it out."

Saruhiko was quiet for a moment, like a stubborn child scolded.

"I'm not asking you not to hate him or not to fight with him or not to hate me for being his boyfriend and having the audacity to come here and confront you, just... there's a line, okay?"

"Whatever." As much as Saruhiko tried to play it off as though he didn't care, Rikio could tell by the flicker of what could have been shame on his lips that he got the message.

"Thank you. I'll leave you to your work."

Saruhiko merely clicked his tongue as Rikio left the room, satisfied that his old clanmate had listened to reason.

When Rikio arrived back at the bar from Sceptre 4, he immediately took a seat beside Misaki, who was chatting with Tatara – Tatara was talking animatedly as he held his new camera, and as Rikio sat down, his face lit up.

“Can I have a picture of you two together? I’m trying to take photos of everyone.”

A flicker of alarm crossed Misaki’s expression until he realised Tatara was talking about the two of them as friends, rather than as a couple, and he nodded his assent. Tatara bounced to his feet and took a couple of photos, handing one of the polaroid printouts to the pair of them before heading over to Shouhei and Saburouta to continue his quest of taking pictures of everyone.

“You alright?” Rikio asked.

“Yeah… For a second there I thought he knew about us or something…”

“Well, do you want people to know?”

Misaki looked thoughtful. “I mean, if the monkey has figured it out then it’s not exactly a secret anymore… not like he has any friends to gossip about it with or anything…”

“We don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to.”

“No, I think I want to… Fuck anyone who has anything bad to say about it. I don’t think anyone at Homra would have an issue with us both being guys… Besides, maybe if those girls who always flirt with you know you’re taken then maybe they’ll lay off.” There was a bitterness in Misaki’s tone as he tried his hardest not to say anything disrespectful, and Rikio smiled, finding his jealousy endearing.

“I want people to know too. I’m proud that you’re mine.”

“Jeez, don’t say embarrassing stuff like that…” Misaki’s face flushed red at the cheesiness of Rikio’s sentiment, but he was smiling ever so slightly.

“Besides, I don’t want to have to not be affectionate with you at the bar. Obviously if you aren’t comfortable being public about that kind of stuff that’s fine, but if I wanted to hold your hand or something..”

“T-that’s fine with me.”

Rikio grinned again, and wordlessly, he lay his hand on top of Misaki’s.

A moment later, Tatara flitted back over to the pair of them. “Can I see how that picture came out?”

Misaki handed him the photo to look at.

“You really like your new camera, huh?” Rikio said.

“It’s nice to be able to have a record of all the memories we make here,” Tatara replied cheerfully, handing the photo back, but before he could turn to leave again, Misaki called out:

“W-wait.”

“Hmm?”

“We, uh, wanted to tell you…” was as far as Misaki got before the embarrassment of talking about this kind of thing stopped up his throat, and he couldn’t force any more words out. He looked at Rikio meekly for assistance.

“Yata-san and I are a couple. We got together yesterday.”

Tatara beamed. “That’s so wonderful! I’m so happy for you! You two were childhood friends too, weren’t you? That’s such a sweet story, I’m glad Homra could bring you two together again after all this time. You make a cute couple.” He seemed so overjoyed by the revelation that he didn’t quite know what to do with himself. “You know, I had an inkling you two had something going on between you… Sorry, I’m making a fuss, aren’t I?” He said sheepishly, noticing the way Misaki had turned bright red. “Well, congratulations!”

“Thank you,” Rikio said.

“Y-yeah, thanks,” Misaki mumbled bashfully as Tatara flashed them another smile before heading off. He turned the photograph Tatara had given them in his fingers, then looked up at Rikio, letting out a bashful sigh. As jittery as he’d felt, it was a relief to start getting out in the open. It made it feel more… real. The last few days had passed in a blur, and Misaki found himself pinching his arm more than once just to make sure he hadn’t imagined the whole thing. Not that he’d really dared to fantasise about this sort of thing before. The two of them actually being an item had never really occurred to him as a possibility; he never expected Rikio to feel the same way, and there was no way Misaki could have confessed to him first.

Rikio shifted his hand to interlock his fingers with Misaki’s, and Misaki found himself smiling against his will. Around the bar, a few people had noticed the gesture of affection and were giving them curious looks, whispering, but to Misaki’s surprise, he didn’t care. As surreal as it all seemed, and as much as he really hadn’t gotten used to the idea that this guy, this amazing guy who had never judged him and who cared about him no matter what, was his, he was glad things had played out this way. When he’d joined Homra, he’d gotten a feeling in his gut that he’d found the place he belonged, and the people he belonged with. He only wished he’d realised sooner how right he’d been.

#krarepairweek2018 #yatamoto #yata misaki #kamamoto rikio #k project #k fanfic

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years ago

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[--rainboweyes--]

Animals

Do you prefer cats or dogs? I’m a doggo person.

If you had to choose, which animal would you like to be reincarnated as? A doggo.

Some say peoples personalities or looks resemble animals. What’s your animal? A sloth.

Books

Which book series was the first you read? My first? I couldn’t say for sure, but the ones I remember reading were Little Golden Books, Amelia Badelia, and this set of books I had for every letter of the alphabet featuring an animal that started with that letter.

What was the last book you read? I’m currently reading, “Cold Grave” by Mary Stone, which is the 5th book in the series.

Would you rather write a book or direct a movie? Write a book.

Characters

Which TV show/movie/book character do you think you are most like? Hmm. Eeyore?

Which superhero is your favorite and why? Iron Man, The Scarlett Witch, Spiderman, Star Lord, Thor, Wonder Woman, Captain America.

What’s your favorite fairytale character? Alice from Alice in Wonderland.

Dreams

Do you usually remember your dreams? Sometimes I’ll remember them for a brief second, but then *poof* they’re gone.

Are most of your dreams good, scary or just plain weird? I do remember that they’re very random and werid.

What dream that you’ve had has stuck in your head the most? Describe: Recurring ones like being chased, teeth falling out, having to go back to elementary or high school, falling, and ones about certain people.

Emotions

What emotion do you find yourself trying to hide from others? I’m not good at that anymore. I used to be, but my emotions have taken over and I can’t seem to control it. It’s very apparent how depressed, irritated, frustrated, exhausted, and just miserable I feel. I get so snippy and short with everyone and I’m just not the most pleasant to be around. I feel like I’m quite draining to those around me.

How emotional/sentimental would you say you are? I’d say quite emotional and sentimental.

Do your emotions control you or do you control your emotions? Like I said, they very much control me.

Fun

What do you do for fun? What’s fun?

Which is more fun: cycling, watching tv, rollercoaster ride or cooking? Watching TV is about as fun as it gets around here for me and even that’s just mindless entertainment for the most part. I don’t have the energy for much.

Which game is the most fun to play? I enjoy a lot of board games and card games likes Cards Against Humanity and Apples to Apples.

Geometry

Nearest square thing to you? This box I have on my bedside table that has these cooling patch things for headaches.

What was the last circular thing you ate? I had a sugar cookie with vanilla buttercream frosting on it earlier.

Is there anything triangular in the room you’re in right now? I’m sure there is somewhere. I don’t feel like looking around for something.

Height

Are you taller or shorter than average? I’m short.

Is your Mum tall or short? How about your Dad? Mom is average, dad is tall. <<<

Do you wish you were taller or shorter? I wish I was a little bit taller. <<<

If…

If you became pregnant or your partner did, what would you do? I can’t get pregnant nor could my partner since I’m heterosexual, sooo.

If you lost something your friend lent to you, what would you do? I’d have to replace it. Hopefully, it would be something easily replacable.

If you had to talk about 1 subject for a minute live on TV, which one? I would not want to do that.

Jokes

Do you normally tell jokes or listen to the jokes? Listen.

What is your sense of humor like (dry, dark, sarcastic etc)? I don’t even know how to describe it, really. Apart from that I like corny, punny, and “dad jokes.” Otherwise, random stuff will just strike me as funny I don’t know. I haven’t had much of a sense of humor these days, though. It’s been awhile since I’ve really laughed.

What types of jokes offend you? Jokes that are supposedly “jokes”, but I don’t see them that way. <<<

Kisses

Do you put x’s in your text messages? Unless the word requires one. I don’t add them to mean “kisses.”

When did you last have a kiss? Almost 10 years ago.

Does your grandma give you big sloppy kisses when she sees you? No. She kisses me on the cheek, but it’s not like that.

Language

How many languages can you say ‘hello my name is…’ in? Three.

What language do you think sounds the nicest? Spanish.

What language do you want to learn more of? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish.

Marriage

Do you ever want to get married? No.

Church or Registry Office? --

Names

Your closest friends names? I don’t have friends.

What names would you ever call your kids? I don’t want to have kids.

What name is the cutest for a little black and white doggie? I name my doggos based on their personalities and what vibe I get.

Order

Are you tidy? I’m not a “neat freak”, but I don’t like mess/clutter.

Do you color code things or put them in alphabetical order? No.

Do you have any form of OCD? No.

Promises

Do you make promises often? No.

What was the last promise you made? I honestly don’t even remember.

Do you plan to keep that promise?^^ --

Quizzes

What types of online quizzes/surveys do you like taking? Random ones with interesting questions that allow me to elaborate.

Have you ever made a quiz? What was it about? I made one once a longgggg time ago.

Have you ever taken an EQ or IQ test? If so, what did you get? Above average, apparently.

Responsibility

Do you class yourself as 'responsible’? Not so much anymore.

What do you think defines a 'responsible’ person? Being dependable and reliable. <<< Yeah, that’s definitely part of it.

What is it that you are responsible for? Myself, which I haven’t been doing a good job of.

Secrets

Do you have a lot of secrets? I wouldn’t say so.

Do you have any 'dark’ secrets? Hmmm.

“A secret isn’t a secret if you tell one person.” Is this true to you? I suppose that’s true.

Thought Provoking

If you knew you had a high chance of dying, would you kill yourself before disease riddled you unable or hope for the best? I wouldn’t be able to kill myself.

Choose a box: 1 has a large amount of money, the other either a wish or fear of yours come true. Which do you pick? I’d go for the wish. Why would I want a fear to come true? Or would I not be able to choose if I get the wish or fear? Gah. If that’s the case, then give me the money.

An angel comes to you and offers to show you one thing from the future or the past; past or future and what is that thing gonna be? I don’t know. The future terrifies me... there’s things I’d like to know, but the possible outcomes scare me and I always expect the worst.

Unlucky

Would you say you are more unlucky or lucky? Unlucky.

Does luck exist or is it coincidence? I don’t believe in it.

A leprechaun pops up and offers to plant some luck on you but it could go either way. Risk it or dismiss it? Dismiss it.

Violence

When did you last hit or punch someone? I never have.

When did you last get hit or punched? I’ve never been hit or punched.

Are you more likely to be verbally aggressive or physically? Neither. I’m not a violent or aggressive person.

Warnings

Do you listen when someone gives you a warning? Not always, admittedly. I’m very stubborn and sometimes I think know better. I don’t know why...

What warning has someone gave you that you wish you’d have listened to? Not to ignore certain things cause they certain ended up biting me in the ass.

What warning has someone gave you you are glad you didn’t take? Hmm.

XXX

Have you ever had sex? Nope.

Have you ever watched anything pornographic? I’ve seen clips before. Not my thing at all.

Have you ever accidently saw someone having sex? No.

YouTube

Do you go onto YouTube? I watch a lot of YouTube.

What is your favorite video of on YouTube? I have countless favorite videos, mainly ASMR.

What channels do you go on the most? The ASMR channels I’m subscribed to, but others as well like like vlog and lifestyle channels, Disney related ones, and a couple drama commentary channels.

Zodiac

What’s your starsign? I’m a Leo.

What are the traits of that sign? Do you have them? I’m so opposite of how a Leo is described.

What zodiac sign do you think you suit the most? *shrug* I don’t know much about them or even believe in that stuff so I don’t care.

Number 1

Name me 1 person who has changed your life for the better? My mom.

Name me 1 object that’s in your kitchen right now? My Keurig.

Name one creature that freaks you out/scares you? ALL BUGS.

Number 2

2nd person that you talked to today was… My doctor.

What is 2 times your favorite number? Sixteen.

You and two of your friends have got in trouble with the law. Who are the 2 friends you have got in trouble with and what did you do? No friends, remember?

Number 3

3 words that don’t describe you at all: Happy, confident, outgoing.

Who is 3rd in your contacts list on your phone? I don’t feel like checking.

In 3 more days, what will the date be? Monday, April 26, 2021.

#persona #text #survey #surveys #categories

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thekendraresearchproject · 5 years ago

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Contemporary + this moment

- I can’t deny I looked up the definition of contemporary before I started writing. I couldn’t help myself. Contemporary just means now. But I guess yesterday it would have been yesterday and today it is not, today it is today, so how delicate and precise ought this qualification be. I think a contemporary association will do. Beyond it simply meaning now I feel that it means the collective now. Art made in the ‘90s I’m sure felt contemporary then and now would have a little retro edge to it in 2020. Even Jeff Koons’ big silly dogs seem comical and outdated. Oh! Outdated perhaps. And I guess other than the passing of time outdated-ness comes from overexposure. But to follow that logic would mean that for something to be truly contemporary then few have seen it or been exposed to it for long. I have to take back what I thought on outdated being the passing of time though because I still look at the Fluxus movement as one of the most contemporary movements of art in America. Looking back on works from Kaprow and Co. they still feel new to me, even though it’s been, what, fifty or so years now since this movement came about? I often pull my copy of Yoko Ono’s “Grapefruit” off my shelf and flip to a random page to scan quickly—it’s like adding a little shot of life into my day, a little hankering to get a taste for something more than the mundane daily pursuit of capitalisms treats, like paychecks and nice furniture.

- In this sense I guess I have figured out what I think contemporary is. It is that which is new, and which cannot be held. I guess I’m just describing the ephemeral. That’s my definition:

contemporary = ephemeral ephemeral = contemporary

- This brings me around to what this moment is. Instantly I have a host of ironic little jokes to make about “these trying times,” as is my impetus because the realities of the state of the country in which we live are truly a collection of abject horrors. Or, no, I don’t think that is true entirely. It just seems overwhelming and is hard to look past these days. I have an aversion to art made in and about the pandemic. If I see it floating around the digital sphere I scroll by as quick as I can, thinking one word, “Why? This is my snippy, childish response to not wanting more of the abjection and the horror and turning to my little screen to avoid these things. This admittedly bad reaction seems to me like a coded desire for this moment to be over. If I’m viewing contemporary as ephemeral, I’m ready for this moment to move on—it is no longer new. I don’t think I’m alone in the desire for this to end. However, this moment does not seem contemporary. It seems stuck and old and musty. There is a ratio of indignation and resignation that, libra-like, outweigh each other every day. I think this negative outlook has to do with the lack of feeling like it is possible to move forward. That is where the beauty and intrigue and desire of and toward the contemporary lies—the knowledge that it is fleeting makes one want to grasp it even more, but you know you can’t because it is soon going to be replaced by something else. Some new-new, some new ephemera to sidle by you before you have fully turned to face it. The current moment is withholding an image of the new, not to mention the new-new. When the new, which will so soon be the old, won’t be replaced with the new-new, where does that leave us? In some grey area, some limbo with undergraduate in philosophy lingo attached to it like uncanny and Kafkaesque. Just as I’d rather kick rocks than attend one more seminar on existentialism, I’d much prefer this moment to end and for something new that I won’t be able to grasp until after it’s gone to happen again.

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sage-nebula · 8 years ago

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if i'm not late for the ship meme, wish, euro and thief!

You are never too late for anything, because I love you.

Wishshipping:

ship: ew / nonono / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / MY HEART / THE BEST SHIP IN THE UNIVERSE

I think my feelings on Wishshipping are probably known to everyone in the entire universe at this point, but I will never pass up a chance to talk about them again because they are actually perfect.

Setting aside the fact that they were designed to be perfectly compatible (even down to their zodiac; it’s clear that Takahashi put thought into it, and he specifically picked Yuugi to be a Gemini and Jounouchi to be an Aquarius, which most zodiac sites rate as being “soulmate” level of compatibility), we actually see just how well they work together, how much stronger they are together, how they build each other up and support each other throughout the course of the manga. We see them come together after a rocky start in which Jounouchi originally bullied Yuugi (though, notably, never saw him as weak and grows offended at the thought that he’s bullying a weaker person---like, he knows Yuugi is shy and quiet, but he doesn’t equate that to weakness), and though they have a few hiccups in the beginning (like Yuugi saying he doesn’t believe there’s an idol at the school and Jounouchi storming off in a huff---Jounouchi isn’t really angry, but Yuugi worries that he is because they don’t know each other very well yet), we see just how quickly they gel and mesh together. By the third chapter, Jounouchi is already so loyal and attached to Yuugi that when he notices Yuugi seems to be feeling down, he gets very passionate about showing support and being there for him, urging Yuugi to share his burdens so that he can help. By the eleventh chapter, when it seems that Jounouchi has returned to Hirutani’s game of his own volition, Yuugi is the one to feel in his heart that Jounouchi hasn’t changed and that he just needs help, something that even Honda doubts until Yuugi offers his support and encouragement. (And note: I’m not dragging Honda here. I’m just saying that Yuugi and Jounouchi’s bond was already so strong that Yuugi wasn’t giving up, and that it’s notable when you look at how Honda was ready to give up, confused and hurt as he was about it, despite having known Jounouchi since junior high.) And we only see them grow closer from there. We see that Jounouchi is the one to offer speeches of support in both Death-T and Duelist Kingdom. We see that he’s ready to stand in the midst of a raging fire with Yuugi, even as he internally pledges that he refuses to let Yuugi die. We see Yuugi not even hesitate when it comes to giving Jounouchi the prize money so that Shizuka’s eyesight can be saved, and he also takes off the Millennium Puzzle so that Atem cannot interfere and take over during the pier duel, giving it to Jounouchi as he prepares to sacrifice his life to save Jounouchi’s own. (Only for Jounouchi to turn right around and attempt to sacrifice himself to save Yuugi instead.) The night before the Ceremonial Duel, Yuugi seeks out Jounouchi so the two of them can talk, because he wants to confide his plans for the Ceremonial Duel with someone, and Jounouchi is that someone. And during the Ceremonial Duel, Jounouchi is the one who wholeheartedly believes in Yuugi’s ability to win, internally urging him to show Atem his strength. Their love, support, and belief in one another is unparalleled. It never falters, wavers, or comes even close to breaking. They are always first in line to support and encourage the other. Even Atem doubts Yuugi (during the pier duel), but Jounouchi never does. Hell, Jounouchi offers to fistfight Atem if Atem makes Yuugi feel bad or insecure again, and while that offer is a bit shortsighted (it’s still Yuugi’s body, Jounouchi), the intention is plain as day. Jounouchi is Yuugi’s #1 fan, and likewise, Yuugi is Jounouchi’s (well---he might need to wrestle Shizuka for top spot, admittedly). Neither one of them will stand for the other doubting himself. Neither one of them will ever stop believing in the other.

Along with that, we see just how much they genuinely love and enjoy each other’s company. They don’t just cry on each other’s shoulders when needed---they laugh and play together, too. Yuugi introduces Jounouchi to Duel Monsters, and when Kaiba is an elitist asshole who refuses to play with them “until [they] collect 10,000 cards,” Yuugi calms Jounouchi down by promising him that they can still play together. They go to the arcade together, and while one might expect Jounouchi to get upset that Yuugi easily aces all the games that Jounouchi himself struggles with, he doesn’t. He just smiles and is so, so amused and fond of the fact that Yuugi is so instantly good at every game he touches. They play Monster Fighter together and, again, genuinely enjoy doing so. Jounouchi is really good at putting together garage kits, and Yuugi tries his hand at one after he sees this, and so on and so forth. Yuugi allows and encourages Jounouchi to be the super mega nerd he always has been deep down (yet hid because that’s not something that would have been seen as “cool or manly” in middle school), and likewise, Yuugi is never afraid about sharing his new interests with Jounouchi, because Jounouchi will be just as excited as he is (and again, we see this, time and again---look how excited they both got at having their digital pets mate, with none of them giving a thought as to how that wording sounded). Even when it comes to less savory interests, such as how they’re both big pervs who watch porn together (and yes, together, this was confirmed in the Millennium Book), well . . . those are interests and activities they share. They have fun together, and love each other’s company not just for the support and strength they find in each other, but also in that they have genuine fun together, without being shamed or teased or embarrassed about it. Yuugi and Jounouchi can be (and are) themselves around each other, 100%, and that’s beautiful.

They are best friends, absolutely and undoubtedly and unreservedly, but that’s precisely what makes the notion of them falling in love---and especially the notion of Yuugi’s “I love you” being romantic, which it could have been due to the context and strong language used---so perfect. Your romantic partner should be your best friend, and Yuugi and Jounouchi are, inarguably, each other’s best friend. They could easily build a life together, and given all of the build-up they have in (manga) canon, it’s more than simple to see a logical progression following where they do. They are perfect. Undoubtedly so.

Euroshipping:

ship: ew / nonono / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / MY HEART

I’m not nearly as passionate about Euroshipping as I am Wishshipping (though then again, that’s a tall order for any ship), but I do still like it, and it’s about the only ship I really like for either Kaiba or Bakura.

I mean, I still view Bakura as pretty much aromantic/asexual, possibly demiromantic/demisexual. And I view Kaiba as demiromantic/demisexual, with a very low sex drive. So even just in terms of romantic/sexual compatibility, I think they work well together because Bakura’s asexuality and lack of desire for sex won’t be a big deal for Kaiba, who also has a low desire for sex most of the time and as such isn’t very interested in that anyway.

Outside of that, though, I do think they really do work well together. Bakura doesn’t have the history with Kaiba that the others do (namely Death-T), and as such he, as he points out himself during Duelist Kingdom, doesn’t have the same level of vitriol and negative feelings for Kaiba that the rest of the members of the squad do. He recognizes that Kaiba has done some bad things in the past, but Kaiba’s apparent love for and desire to rescue his little brother Mokuba makes Bakura feel inclined to give him a chance. I think that, in terms of giving Kaiba that chance, Bakura would be the best candidate. He has already shown the willingness, and he doesn’t have pre-existing bias to complicate that willingness the way the others do. He’s also far less easily provoked by baits and taunts than the others are, which means that Kaiba’s abrasive personality really isn’t likely to bother him very much. Although Bakura is a shy person (and more timid than Yuugi ever was, tbh), he’s also got a hell of a lot of inner strength, and so I think that he would be able to navigate and deal with the times when Kaiba might get short or snippy. And without someone getting defensive and shouting at him, Kaiba would be able to take the time to realize that what he said was perhaps not the greatest, and thus would be more likely to apologize for it (in his own way). Lastly, Bakura was a big brother himself, and so I think that he would make a great secondary big brother for Mokuba. He’d fit right in.

On top of Bakura being a good fit for Kaiba, I also think Kaiba is a good fit for Bakura. Again, aside from Kaiba’s own sexuality jiving well with Bakura’s, Kaiba is every bit as introverted as Bakura is. While Bakura does wish to be part of the squad and often feels as if he has to self-isolate (at which point Jounouchi kicks down his door and says “NAH”), the truth remains that Bakura is still happy to spend time at home, designing his TRPGs or else writing letters to his deceased little sister (ouch). Kaiba, too, is pretty damn introverted, and so the idea of spending time at home playing games with another person (or else watching a movie, et cetera) is one that’s going to sound far more appealing to him than going out and doing things. This is especially true since Kaiba is the type who likes to fixate on one person and lavish attention on them; this was always a problem with Atem, because Atem was sharing his body with another + wanted to spend more time with the squad than he did with Kaiba. But Bakura, while he does love his other friends as well, does need someone who will pay him more special attention, and Kaiba is definitely the type of person who is attentive enough to be able to do that. At the same time, as extra as he can be at times, he tends to show affection in more subtle ways; this, too, fits well with Bakura, who I think is the type to appreciate gestures over grand, embarrassing displays and overt flirting.

Lastly, they have a lot of interests in common. Obviously they both love playing games, but they both love designing games as well. Kaiba runs KaibaCorp, and Bakura designs TRPGs. They both have scrupulous attention to detail, because Kaiba won’t allow his company to release a product unless it’s perfect, and Bakura hand-designs all of his TRPG figures so that they look dead-on accurate. On top of this, they both have similar tastes in horror and the macabre; we know that Bakura, in his own words, “loves grotesque things,” and Kaiba’s flair in Murder Mansion shows a definite affection for horror and slasher films. Bakura’s tastes may be too extreme for the squad, but they’re not for Kaiba---and likewise, I think Kaiba would appreciate having someone to watch horror films with, considering the fact that I bet they’re not really to Mokuba’s taste.

So while I’m not super passionate about it, I do think this is a really good pair and that they have a lot in common. They deserve more appreciation, for real.

Thief:

ship: ew / nonono / eh / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / MY HEART

I really don’t see this one, sorry. :/

The “nonono” mostly comes from the fact that the only way it could take place is if the Spirit of the Ring was possessing Bakura, thereby removing Bakura’s bodily autonomy and consent. This is the same issue that I have with reciprocated Atem ships; outside of an AU where Atem and/or the Spirit of the Ring have their own bodies, it’s extremely unfair and downright disturbing to Yuugi and/or Bakura to have their bodies taken on romantic (and potentially sexual) joyrides. Even if they said, “yeah, that’s OK,” they can’t give the OK to literally everything that’s done while the spirits are in control. And while Atem is thankfully considerate enough of Yuugi to never do anything untoward while in the driver’s seat, we know from canon that the Spirit of the Ring does not feel the same way toward Bakura. He was removing Bakura’s agency long before Bakura even realized he was there, and afterward has since made it a point to either steal control, or else emotionally manipulate Bakura into handing the keys over. It’s not healthy, and I can’t feel comfortable shipping the Spirit of the Ring with anyone while he has to use Bakura’s body to make the ship work.

As for the “eh,” I just personally never really saw it. The Spirit of the Ring and Malik have fewer interactions in the manga, and the interactions they do have mostly just revolve around their deal. Aside from the Spirit of the Ring going from 0 to 100 real quick (within the space of four panels he goes from “oh you have a Millennium Item I see” to “I am going to murder you right here in broad daylight if you don’t give it to me”), they never really show interest in each other outside of the Spirit of the Ring wanting Malik to hand over the Millennium Rod, and Malik wanting the Spirit of the Ring to help him defeat Yuugi. The closest you get is that Malik does go to the Spirit of the Ring after his split personality takes over (in a bid to save Rishid), but even then, the Spirit of the Ring makes it pretty clear that he’s not doing this for Malik’s benefit. He really doesn’t give a damn whether Rishid lives or dies. He seriously just wants the Millennium Rod. Malik will take what he can get, of course, but I think it’s pretty apparent that the Spirit of the Ring really doesn’t care about him, and I think that what Malik does by going to him is more a show of desperation than anything else.

The anime does, I think, give them more interactions and ship tease, though, and The Abridged Series takes it up to eleven. I think I do ship it in the Abridged Series, mostly because Martin very blatantly wrote it in there, and I liked how he had them bickering like an old married couple. It was cute. But insofar as canon I don’t really go for it, personally. It’s just not really my thing.

That said, some of the art is goddamn gorgeous. I will give it that.

#ship meme #severalbakuras

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