#again i don't want to wish anyone badly i really don't

[singsweetmelodies]

i don't want to wish anyone badly on-track, but listen.... if anything happens to P2 and P3 tomorrow - anything at all - then we have a piarles podium 👀👀👀

[stereax]

saw you post 'listen before you go', thought you'd enjoy this:

oh...

[bassiter2]

every day of my life i wish i was cis mainly so i could've been repressed about being gay in a simpler way

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR N.SFW DIRTY TALK *  assorted dialogue ranging from vulgar to weird to hot to suggestive to everything in between, n.sfw heavily implied across the board so proceed with caution, adjust as necessary

can you help me with something in the bedroom?

if you don't stop looking at me like that, we're going to have a problem.

beg for me.

i'm imagining what we'd be doing if we were together.

you're going to get down on your knees, and then you're going to taste me.

i've never seen you like this before.

i'm sure we could find somewhere to be alone.

i've been having filthy thoughts all day.

do you want to lie down for a bit?

i need to feel you inside me.

why aren't you here right now?

once we start, i don't think i'll be able to stop.

i need you so bad right now.

how badly do you need me?

i love watching you touch yourself.

come for me.

what do you want me to wear to bed tonight?

that feels so good.

you don't know what you do to me.

i'm under your spell.

i'll make sure you feel good.

i'll do anything you ask.

spank me.

i love when you let me take control.

just like that.

that was so good, baby.

i need to get you home right now.

i thought about you last night.

do that again.

you like that, baby?

look at me while you take it.

pleasing you is my only purpose.

i just want to make you happy.

take your clothes off. lie down.

fuck me hard.

just like that.

how do you want me?

i'm dripping wet.

i can't wait to get you home.

i've never wanted anyone like this before.

grab me in public.

i love your body.

you're making me so fucking horny.

i wish we were home.

i just want to rip your clothes off right now.

don't stop.

wanna see what i have on underneath?

i want you on top of me.

i've never been fucked like this before.

grab my hair.

grind into me just like that.

no one can touch you the way i do.

you make me feel amazing.

pull on my hair.

tonight is all about you.

bite me.

i'm not wearing any panties.

walk in front of me so i can watch you.

don't look at me like that.

i bought something for us to use together.

you turn me on.

have you ever done that before?

i need to feel your body against mine.

you're really sexy when you wear that.

i keep fantasizing about what i'm going to do to you later.

please don't make me beg.

fuck my mouth.

i want you all over me.

i can't concentrate at work when you send me photos like that.

[teaboot]

I'm surprised/impressed? by how blase you are about people threatening you at work. A neighbor threatened me last week and it was so scary and I wish I could have had the same kinda response you seem to.

First off, I hope you're safe and okay, that's an awful experience to be familiar with and especially bad that they live so close to you D:

Second, I'm certainly no maverick out here- I've only been doing this a few years now- but I've found that about 99% of threats I receive have very little intent to follow through.

The type of threats I usually receive are typically from:

Someone who's had bad experiences with security or police, in the past. People with hand and face tattoos, homeless folks, people with mannerisms that get them labeled as "sketchy", POC, and people who've been incarcerated all have valid reason to believe I'm out to get them, and may get treated badly elsewhere often enough that they're expecting that. Every time I approach someone, I have to take this into account and do everything I can to signal that they haven't been profiled based on preexisting stereotypes.

Someone experiencing the symptoms of a mental health condition. People with mental illnesses are statistically victims of crime more often than they are perpetrators. That said, I have run into people before whose mental illness can present as aggression- if someone behaving erratically or is known for that sort of thing tells me they're gonna blow my brains out, but I can clearly see they're unarmed, not coming towards me, haven't hurt anyone, and show no intent of escalating, I'm probably not in danger. A few people I've met will see me again in a day or two and will have no problems with me at all.

Someone who is scared, frustrated, anxious, or grieving. Not to excuse violence in any context, but in my experience 99% of people who blow up at me aren't actually thinking about me. Anger isn't so much an emotion in a lot of ways as it is the reaction to another emotion- if someone tells me they're gonna kick my ass, I have to question if there's anything they may be frightened, frustrated, or sad about something else entirely. If I can address and resolve what's causing the anxiety, the anger usually goes away next. If I can't deescalate, my next job is to disengage and make sure myself and others aren't at risk of harm.

People who want something from me. This does not happen often. Maybe they want me to back off, or leave them alone, or let them take something, whatever- maybe they think I'm someone with clearance to use physical force, or they think my flashlight is pepper spray. Whatever it is, once they've made it clear they're willing to act, I back off. Unless they're hurting another person, nothing they want is worth getting stabbed or shot over. And physical conflict is insanely stressful, even for the attacker, so even then whoever threatening me will likely take any "out" I can give- I keep paths of escape clear, stay out of range, keep calm and respectful. Every time this has happened to me, the person has run away when given the chance.

People who genuinely want to hurt me and intend to follow through. Again, this is super uncommon- I think it's only really happened to me once or twice on the job. Yes, it's scary, but I find it helps to remember that they arent after me, they're after the uniform. If someone is coming after me in costume, so to speak, it's not who I am as a person, it's what I represent. And a lot of people seem to think I'm a cop, or see me as a faceless goon, or a past abuser, or an intruder in their life specifically sent to make them miserable. If that's what they believe, there's not much I can do to change their mind except, again, stay calm and respectful and disengage.

I do know how to defend myself to an extent, but again, I don't have weapons or restraints or a vest or anything and I'm kinda small on top of that so really I'm cool with hauling ass if I gotta. If me getting the fuck out of dodge resolves the issue then I'm not above radio'ing HQ from the top of a tree somewhere, that shit is above my pay grade.

TL/DR in my personal limited experience, someone who has told me that they're going to hurt me wouldn't have given me the warning unless there was something I could do to avoid it. Stay calm, don't yell, be respectful, give them an escape route and run if you need to

Stay safe out there, yeah?

[kaeinvy]

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐆𝐎𝐃 ! + scara ; genshin

warnings; god scara + worshipper reader, fingering, afab reader + no pronouns used, clit rubbing + pinching, blowjob + handjob, worshipping kink, degradation kink, electro god scara au, public sex + on the throne, riding(?) + rough sex, dick spanking + slipping, grammar mistakes(?)

notes; afab smut again, to be honest, I only did it w/ girls and not with boys, I only know the hand + mouth, plus I had two bfs in my life while I had 4 gfs in my life...

you always had worshipped him, the archon. His beautiful and powerful aura, anyone would be lucky(or not) if he noticed them, and you had that pleasure. Your hands were shaking and your bare legs are trembling, the way he was looking at you. "Go on, my dear worshipper~ if you want me to please your God then go ahead, please me." He says, smirking and you reach out for his proud standing dick, your hands wrap around his dick. You bring another hand up and stroke his hardness with two hands, he was grinning down at you while your hand keeps moving up and down. Your mouth was slightly open, you were filled with excitement, stroking your archon's dick. "Go on, whore. Keep doing that, 'm bet you were wishing and praying to give me an handjob." He chuckles, your face flushes a dark color, you can feel your cunt getting more wet just by pleasing his dick with your hand, that's the affects he has on you. "Mmh...about you suck it? 'm bet you will take very good~" he says, he grabs your head and smears his pre-cum against your bottom lip before you open your mouth. Allowing his dick enter you wetness, your tongue rubs the side of his dick, he controlled your actions. Bobbing your head up and down, he lets his head go back and he closes his eyes, groaning softly. His hand grips hard at your hair, you look up at him through your tears. You gag slightly, still taking his dick in your mouth, he was looking down at you, that just made you enjoy it somemore, controlling you. "don't want to cum yet, 'm want to fill you up, 'm want you to beg for my precious semen, whore." He spins you around, your butt facing him and he grabs your hips, bringing you down, your cunt hovering over his dick, he holds you up. His fingers resting on your folds, before he slips one finger in. "Mgfh!" You let out a muffled moan, his other digit goes in, thrusting two of his fingers in your cunt. His fingers getting squeezed by your pussy, his dick twitches as his thumb goes to your clit, pushing down on it while he continues to finger you. "come on, beg for 'm, darlin'." he whispers, your mouth opens but you close your mouth, you try to talk but only moans escape your mouth. "P-please..." You whined, rubbing against his fingers, he grins and rubs your clit slowly. His thumb going over it, making you mewl and beg for more. "Come on, 'm want you to beg for dick, then 'm will fuck ya, really good." He says, you grip at his throne, his fingers continue to move in you, he leans toward you, whispering in your ear, you open your mouth to beg. "Please... scara, 'm want your dick so badly.." you plead for his dick, he smirks and rubs his dick against your folds, his tip touching your clit. He grabs a hold of his dick and smacks it on your clit, your face darkens and you release a moan. Your eyes focusing on his dick, you lifted yourself up, your wetness hovering over his hardness, you let yourself go on his dick slowly, your wetness clenching around his dick. Scara grips your waist and moves you, he waits for a moment, getting you use to his size. He moves quickly, pushing you down onto his cock, he holds you with one arm and uses his other to play with your clit, rubbing it while he fucks you. His dick hits a spot in you, you yelp and your toes curl, your legs trembling onto of his legs, he doesn't stop thrusting into you. "Your so fucking slutty, but your my slut? Aren't you?" He whispers, your head throws back and your back arches, you clench hard around his dick as you climax, scara follows soon after. His dick pumping into you, some of his semen dripping past. "Go on, whore. Pray for more, that you want more for me"

[koolades-world]

Ok so this is on the angsty side, you can write this how you generally want but I do hope you keep the concept the same, you can add less angst if you want

Ok so

A replaced AU where MC is pretty much discarded by the brothers so they can pay more attention to the new exchange student. It starts off slowly at first, them saying they want to make sure RN(replacement name) knows their way around and that they’re new so they want to make them feel welcomed, but then it starts becoming where they stop hanging out with MC in general. They stop inviting them out, they forget to tell them food is ready or that they ordered food(they don’t even get them food either). MC just feels very forgotten

Ok so for the actual request now lol

Can you do pretty much this concept for a fic with MC who got attacked and really badly injured by another demon, was found by either Solomon or Simeon, and after they contacted Diavolo(and got MC bandaged and cleaned up) they all collectively decided(Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon, and even Luke) that they wouldn’t tell the brothers what happened. They wouldn’t even have MC go back to HOL, they let them stay at purgatory hall and would have Barbatos keep an eye on them when they were in RAD. They’ll wait to see how long it takes them to notice their absence. And months pass. Months of MC slowly healing from her trauma of being attacked and slowly learning how to be a basic human again. None of the brothers realize MC is even gone. They only notice once one of them need something from them and they ask if anyone has seen them. When they go to Diavolo to ask, he immediately reprimands and yells at them for not noticing the fact that they were gone for MONTHS. He asks where they were when MC was attacked and bleeding out on the floor and where they were when they were healing from that attack

They now all feel like shit and they just get the exact same reaction from Solomon and Simeon when they try and call them too. Everytime they see MC in public, they always have someone by their side, always ready to keep them away from them. When they do see MC from far away, they see how small they look, how they’re constantly looking around and flinching at any sudden movement or loud sound. They feel even worse by the day. They were all also blocked on MC’s DDD so they can’t even try and talk through messages or calls. They need to slowly regain their trust, if they even regain it at all.

Yeah that got a little angsty lol

Again you don’t have to make it as angsty as I described, you can make it as angsty as you want(I would love a good cry though lol)

Please please please and thank you! Take your time with this one if you need

this request vanished on me a couple times now so I grabbed it as soon as I saw it again! curse tumblr and whatever it’s on. really hope they get around to fixing that because it is so scary and nerve wracking to have something disappear on you like that

i can only assume the second ask was also you haha it was quite fun to read and really get into the idea you created :) i decided to use Rn for the replacement mc, like how I used Mc as a name, since i liked it so much

alright enough about that, i love my angst and it feels like you almost knew it haha. you asked and i will deliver! i veered off the idea a little, but i hope you enjoy :)

enjoy <3

bygone

It was hard being second best at anything. Constantly being passed over and just missing the mark of being best. It hurt, knowing you were so close yet so far from number one. But what you were to the brothers now was far worse than second best; forgotten.

You don't know when this all had started, and initially, you'd been forgiving, because the treatment Rn was getting was the treatment you wished you'd had when you arrived in the Devildom. You wouldn't want to wish a negative experience upon them, since you were in their shoes at one point. And yet after everything, you couldn't find a reason to blame them for anything.

It wasn't their fault they were in the Devildom. It wasn't their fault they were more likable than you. And it wasn't their fault you were attacked.

It was particularly gloomy that day, and it was so windy you almost got swept away a couple times. But the brothers didn't care and you knew it. Your Purgatory Hall friends were all busy at clubs, and while they'd offered a quiet corner for you to do your work in so they could walk you home, you refused. You didn't want to bother then even though you knew they didn't mind.

You thought the walk home would've been uneventful, like it usually was. You were right, and you made it home safely, until you realized you'd left an important textbook in your locker. You made it successfully back to RAD, and were in front of your locker trying to open it when you were slammed from behind into it. You must've hit your head, because everything after that was hazy and you struggled to recall what happened, or who attacked you. The next thing you remembered was Simeon hovering over you, looking more distressed than you'd ever seen him.

The morning after, you woke up with a pounding headache you thought was due to your morning alarm. You'd reached over to turn it off, but before you could, Luke rushed in the room and began scolding you for trying to get up. As he talked at you, his words went in one ear and out the other. The other members of Purgatory Hall, as well as Barbatos entered the room at some point. They all looked strained or disturbed in a way. When you asked what had happened, Solomon was the one to break the news to you. You didn't know quite how to feel, but you knew at the very least that you were finally in good hands.

After this, the four of them sat in the room with you, and just chatted with you. It was nice to feel welcome in such a casual space again. At some point, you realized you weren't at home, and were instead at Purgatory Hall. That was when they revealed their plan to just not tell the brothers, and that you were more than welcome to live with your friends at Purgatory Hall instead. You felt a weak smile form on your face. It was good to be wanted again.

As time passed by, you grew physically better thanks to the attentive care of your new housemates, but the same couldn't be said emotionally. In the comfort of home, you felt safe, especially surrounded by your wonderful support system. At first, you couldn't even bring yourself to leave the house, and the first time you saw one of the brothers again was a major setback, but you did what you could. Those around you gave you all the time you needed to heal, and you let them know you were finally ready to try and take that next step again.

Barbatos and Diavolo had invited the residents of Purgatory Hall over for a nice little tea party, which you were proud to say you were now included in. They’d told you to get dressed up to spend a nice afternoon with them and enjoy yourself. It was something to look forward to, so the night before, you laid out an outfit. The next morning, you woke up feeling excited for once. Your new support system seemed determined to make this the best day possible, and despite asking them not to jump through hoops for you, they went to whatever lengths possible just to see you smile.

You felt possible the happiest you’d ever been since before Rn arrived when you got to the castle. All the little D’s welcomed you enthusiastically and ushered the four of you into the castle. Diavolo was already seated, but got up as soon as you walked into the room. He greeted you with a hug and soon, the five of you were happily talking. Barbatos joined you at some point, and knowing you would insist he relax, he sat down with the promise to get up if you needed anything.

It was supposed to be perfect.

You were enjoying your second cup of tea when there was a frantic knock at the door. It was distant, but you could all hear the panic behind it. Barbatos was the first to get up and he announced he would check it out. The five of you glanced around at each other, but continued as normal. A couple minutes went by, and a little D flew into the room and pleaded with Diavolo for help. This alarmed all of you, but Diavolo had you sit back down while he went to go assist Barbatos. Solomon and Simeon exchanged glances, but did as he asked.

You began to hear yelling, and the door Diavolo had just left through burst open. An awfully familiar pair of blue eyes locked onto you. "Mc!" Mammon called out. You froze, not sure how to react. Solomon stood up, pushing his chair back and letting it scrape against the ground.

Before anyone could speak, Diavolo pushed past Mammon and stood directly in front of him, arms crossed. "I didn't give you permission to enter my home." You'd never seen Diavolo more serious. Mammon was hidden from view now, thankfully, but that couldn't stop the sound of his voice reaching your ears.

"You lied to us. Mc is here." Mammon's tone was so sharp, it nearly cut the tension in the room.

"Why would you do that? We miss them." Levi sounded more angry than you'd ever heard him. The noise of his tails thrashing angrily about against the marble floors echoed through the hall.

"Oh really? You miss them, you say? Did you miss them when they were alone because of your actions? Did you miss them when they were bleeding out in the halls of RAD? Did you miss them in the months of recovery? You were so consumed with Rn that you failed to notice the absence of the very person that solved many of your problems and brought your family back together." Diavolo had shifted into his demon form in the middle of his rant. You could feel the waves of anger peeling off of him, and you knew sure as hell that the brothers could feel it too.

The room was filled with silence again. Solomon moved to stand next to the future king. "You should go now." His voice was soft, but firm.

"I'll see them out." Barbatos was behind the brothers somewhere. They left without much resistance after they got a glimpse at your face. During the entire interaction, you felt silent tears streaming down your face. Luke leant over and tried to offer you a handkerchief with his name embroidered on the corner. When you didn't move to take it, he dabbed the tears from your face for you and embraced you tightly.

"I'm sorry about them, Mc." Diavolo walked back over to you and stood behind you.

"It's alright." You hugged Luke back. Diavolo joined in, causing Solomon and Simeon to as well. "I have you guys, don't I?"

[erika-xero]

Thoughts on ai and Art

What has Ai really changed for me is the perception of my own art. Years back, I was extremely concerned of my work being imperfect: everything had to look "right", the anatomy had to be flawless, the lines - clean and refined. The pipe-line had to be flawless too: minimal amount of layers, one - for lines, one - for colors, and a few for lighting/shading.

Meanwhile I was yearning for chaos and the standard pipe-line felt too strict, too limiting. I finished the drawing and cried over the imperfections, but I could not let myself create a new layer and just paint it all over as I wanted to - that would "mess up my perfect psd". This was even harder because I started as a traditional artist and traditional art is basically the same as drawing on one layer or stacking the layers on top of each other whenever you wish to change anything. I was so obsessed with the anatomy/perspective looking right that my works started looking boring and stiff. If I was not sure that I would be able to draw a certain body part at a certain angle ANATOMICALLY PERFECT - I just refused to draw it at all. Drawing back then was HARD. I forced too much limitations upon myself, I was so scared of making any mistakes and thus did everything I could to avoid the risk to fail. It felts like an entire world would see me failing and everyone - literally everyone - will disapprove. And don't get me wrong - the art community in my country has always been astonishingly toxic. We had, like, a group of 20 THOUSANDS individuals hunting down children online and bullying them into oblivion for drawing anime and furry characters in their school textbooks. And pretty much everyone except a small group of people (which I was a part of) thought that it's absolutely fine and this is how the things should be. Even the industry professionals were absolutely sure that young artists have to suffer and be ashamed of everything they do unless it is absolutely flawless at an any aspect. I was ashamed of everything I did back then. I was ashamed of drawing and posting sketches because I felt like they are not good enough to be shown to anyone. And then the Ai-boom started. And I had mixed feelings because I was not THAT scared, but I was somewhat disappointed of people? General public praised the generated slop ignoring the mistakes far worse than what real artists got bullied for for DECADES. The synthetic artworks are shiny. They are overrendered. They are liveless, boring, they lack fundamentals and yet somehow people viewed them as some kind of a miracle. I decided to learn how does those little machines generated their slop out of morbid curiosity, just to make sure that I got it right and it is spitting out cadavers created from mutilated, dismembered works of real artists. Used by people who did not care enough to pick up a bloody pencils. And I thought: why would I care enough to look at something that no one bothered to create? And then I started seeing everything I do completely different. I suddenly stopped caring of being perfect. Every piece I have ever done, every work I was crying over for it being ugly, every messy sketch and unfinished doodle suddenly started to matter a lot. Not that I stopped caring of doing my best, no. I stopped wishing to disown my own mistakes. They are my own. I cared enough to try and fail and to try again, and fail so badly that I wanted to cry, scream and throw up. And I repeated the cycle for long enough that I started to enjoy my silly doodles and started loving every tiny imperfection because this is what made my art so human. I still suck at drawing hands and feet. My line-art is messy and I started doing it right on top of my colored sketch. My pipe-line is in chaos and my PSDs look like a total mess of three hundreds of layers. I draw sketches with huge-ass round brush only adding the details that really matters. My works are better than they could ever be because they feel alive and chaotic as we human had always been. This is a love letter to my art and write it while flipping off my middle finger to the cadavers generated by the machine. I will not be stopped by glorified autocomplete and I refuse to be outdone by people who confuse googling an image with the act of creation.

My worst drawing is better than any of the generative imagery out there, because I cared drawing it.

[mid-stars]

He loved you.

You Held his hand like he was your world. He finally found something worth fighting for.. Not for him... Not for the Aeons... Not for anyone else. His skin was soft as a glaze lily or soft as the softest fabric in the world. Caressing his face was like a melody.. One touch and you would be set to touch again.. And again.. And again forever.

"Darling?" His voice calls as you look at him. "Mhm" interlocking your hand as strands of hair intertwine your fingers "I love you" you smile as his eyes gleamed, inhaling your scent to memorize you... You smelled so beautiful... He just.. He wished you were back..

Back in his arms... And not just a mini grave to see.. Oh how much he would spend to have you physically back in his arms... "Hey.. How much longer will you pretend to die"

Silence

"Don't leave me quiet, say something!" The ground shook in silence, no matter how many steps he took... There was no more sound "is this how you leave me.. In silence like the rest of them?!"

"Answer me!"

"You know better than to yell at their grave" a voice answered "what do you know" he softly said "I know that they wouldn't be proud." The rain heavily clashed as the only sound was silence "do you think this is the way they wanted to see you after they die..?"

"Is this...?" A cold shivering touch held him on his feet "is this really the way you want them to see you? A monster.. A cruel horrible monster.."

A Swift blink for them to disappear as he tries to murder them "Shut up!" He clenched his teeth as his fingers dragged the weapon in his hands "how dare you comment on someone you never knew exists.."

*hic* the wounds of the ground stays in silence as the sobs of his tears could never bear the burden he wanted to spread. All in your ashes.. That's where he just wanted to be.. In ashes, with the flames that engulfed you.. Oh how badly he loved you..

[littleststarfighter]

Feeling sorry for myself

I just want to apologise if I seem standoffish sometimes. Or if I'm super late to reply to anyone. I get too shy and I have anxiety. After my mum passed away it kinda got worse. But I'm trying to get better at not being so awkward and making friends. I don't have many friends offline and it gets very lonely. I often don't get to talk to anyone for days or weeks face to face or on the phone. So coming on here and chatting makes my day. I'm just very slow at it because I get nervous.

Things have been really hard. I'm unemployed again and finding it impossible to find work. The curse of not having a car and living rurally. I've got bills to pay that signing on for welfare doesn't cover. When it comes to my family, only my sister has anything to do with me. I hate where I live because I have neighbours from hell, but I'm stuck here. I'm feeling trapped so it's been hard to get myself out there in the world more. And that includes being online and drawing. I just want to curl up and stop some days. I keep trying though even if I feel like giving up. Because drawing makes me happy and I love the people I meet here. I've met some really kind and awesome people ❤️ So I guess I just wanted to moan because sometimes it helps getting things out instead of pretending things are great. Sometimes they're not.

I wish I was a faster artist. I think that's why I'm not successful or find work in art. No one wants my art and it gets depressing seeing people I shared fandom with become successful and develop careers. Like I'm struggling to get people interested in my prints or Patreon. Honestly I'm thinking of deleting my Pateron as I'm not doing great or offering things people want. I don't do much NSFW and my art isn't cute. I take so long to draw and paint it's ridiculous. And don't draw just the one fandom and like to branch out and that doesn't help. Especially as I've landed in a new one lately. I think there'll be a point I'm going to have to stop drawing as it'll be hard to balance that and stressing about not having full time work. It makes me sad to think that but bills are more important and I have to get out of this hell hole I'm living in. I only have myself to rely on in my life. My family or friends won't help me. I get people asking why I can't do something with my art. But you need to be super popular and know people, as well as being outgoing and great at networking to make that work. And I'm too slow, shy and have a weird style for anyone to hire me. 

Sorry, just feeling sorry for myself today and wanted somewhere to rant that's not my poor sister. It's just been really hard for me recently and I'm trying so much to be positive and get myself sorted out. But sometimes you just want to have a moan. Will go try to finish something as I've had a really bad social anxiety kick recently and I've not been online or drawn anything for over a month. I want to draw so badly too.

Sorry for moaning so much.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

the boys crush is putting on chapstick, accidentally maybe a little too much, while deciding where to wipe it off...they choose violence! they decided to wipe the extra on his face MWAH they smack a kiss onto the boys cheek and run! they evade capture somehow and the guys end up having to go home. they get caught out in the sun for a little too long. when they get home they realize their whole face is burnt/ tanned- except for one kiss-shaped spot on their cheek. that chapstick had SPF in it. whatre they gonna do

Lmao this is a funny idea! Here's how I think they would each react

Takemichi- He honestly doesn't care at all, he's too busy cherishing the mark and the memory to get annoyed or upset. He's also very exited to show his friend's tomorrow and boast about it.

Mikey- Hmm? He's a bit confused at first and tries to rub the mark off but then it dawns on him. Smiling, he decides to do the same to you tomorrow, you don't get to defeat the former leader of toman that easily.

Draken- Groaning he looks at his face again, isn't sure how he can go to work with his face looking like this. The kiss was a nice surprise but he wishes it didn't happen that way!

Baji- This just so happened to take place on the day he was supposed to visit his mum. So he had to sit through her laughing, asking lots of questions and her wanting to meet his "secret lover". He vows to get you back for this.

Chifuyu- Takes a picture of himself to remember this, then softly touches the mark. He knows he should be worried or annoyed about this but you finally kissed him so how can he be annoyed???

Mitsuya- Chuckles at your antics and tries to figure out how to cover the mark. It actually probably inspires him in some way and gives him a new outfit or accessory idea.

Hakkai- Eyes widen the second he sees the mark, he's questioning why you kissed him more then the mark though. Does this mean you actually like him!?

Pah- Has no idea what to think about this, calls Peh and tells him all about though.

Peh- Mutters a lot about you after seeing it and how annoying you are, it's obvious to anyone who can hear him though that he's lying.

Smiley- He's blushing and saying he's gonna kill you and is just generally a mess. Badly wishes he had caught you so he could've kissed you back. He's definitely going to try the next time he sees you.

Angry- He's still shocked even after he get's home, the mark kinda doesn't make a difference since he's already so surprised. Spends a long time staring at the mark thoughtfully.

Mucho- Is honestly impressed that you not only managed to catch him off guard with a kiss but that you also then managed to get away from him. Maybe he's underestimated you, he won't make that mistake again.

Sanzu- Takes this as definitive proof that you must like him, that was your way of confessing right??? And you even marked him to show everyone.

Kisaki- Frowns while looking at the mark, he definitely appreciates the kiss but he has a big meeting tomorrow and he can't go in with this on his face.

Hanma- Walks around shamelessly showing the mark on his face off, thinks it's cool and wonders how you'll react to seeing it. Blows kisses at you when he sees you and points to the mark.

Kazutora- Goes to talk about what just happened and the mark to the only people he knows he can trust and who won't laugh, the cats at the petshop. Spends the rest of the day talking to them about you and what happened, trying to make sense of it himself.

Inui- Doesn't really care what others think of him with the mark but he knows he'll have to deal with Shinichiro making a big deal over it. Curses you slightly but can't find it in himself to actually be bothered, not when you finally kissed him.

Koko- Immediately cancels all meetings the second he sees it, Kisaki may be mad but oh well. He really wishes you didn't run away, he has so much he wants to say you and that he's hoping to hear fron you. His no1 priority is finding you.

Taiju- He's laughing. You really think you can get away with that? That he'll let you only give him a quick kiss like that? Oh he's definitely getting revenge for this and for you to give him a proper kiss.

Izana- You marked him? Izana hums thoughtfully as he looks at himself in the mirror before grinning. He's thinking about marking you back, leaving bite marks over your neck and seeing how you like it. You are the one who started it after all.

Kakucho- He's blushing so much, he just keeps replaying the memory of the kiss in his head. He's not really sure what it means though, why did you run? Wants to ask Izana for advice but knows he'll laugh at him.

Ran- Decides the kiss mark is actually kinda a look and decides to keep it instead of trying to cover it. Will tell everyone you did this and boast as much as he can, all while smiling smugly at you.

Rindou- Immediately works on trying to cover the mark, Ran is definitely not allowed to see this.

Shion- He's definitely boasting a bunch about this, though he's not mentioning the whole part about you running away and him not being able to catch you. He excitedly points to the mark a lot.

Mochi- He isn't sure if he's more embarrassed about the kiss, you getting away from him or the mark. But he's very embarrassed.

South- Is very excited about this, he views it as a game between the two of you now. And it's his turn to give you a sneak kiss now. Doesn't even care about the mark, actually he thinks it's nice that for once it's not an injury marking him.

Wakasa- Frowns before smiling slightly at the mark on his cheek. Thinks it's cute how you'd do something like that but then get so embarrassed that you run. He wants more though.

Benkei- Makes a loud "huh!???" when he notices it. Definitely wants to talk to you even more now, why did you just do that!???

Shinichiro- He's practically jumping for joy, even after noticing the mark. Wears it proudly to show everyone that someone does like him!!!!

[ninyard]

do you perhaps have any thoughts on kevin telling wymack about kayleigh's letter? it's just so interesting to me and i'm so sad we didn't get to see it :(

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG <33 I wanted to do this justice and although i feel like there's a different way it could've gone, I feel like this is... one of the options at least

-

Kevin's hands shook so badly when he knocked on his coach's office door, that the first knock of knuckles on wood hardly made a sound at all. That could've been a sign to walk away, but instead he knocked again. David looked up from whatever papers he was rummaging through to see Kevin in the doorway, and he sat back, waiting for him to explain his presence.

It was an age before Kevin found his voice, "Do you have a minute?"

"Am I going to regret it?" Wymack crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his chair over to get a better look at him, while he shut the door behind him.

"Are you busy?" Kevin asked instead, and stepped into the room so slowly he felt like he was barely moving at all.

"I'm always busy," He answered, his eyes following Kevin as he sat down. "But right now, no, I'm not. Everything okay?"

Kevin looked at the floor, his cheeks burning with an unyielding anxiety that he couldn't control, worse for every second longer that he looked into Wymack's eyes without telling him the truth.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." Kevin tried, sitting forward in the chair across from his desk. "But I don't know where to start."

"Are you quitting?"

Kevin exhaled through his nose. "No."

"Is it Edgar Allan related?"

"No, it's not."

"Is anyone dying?"

"No, Coach."

Wymack held out his hands and shrugged his shoulders with a pout, "So, what's there to be worried about?"

Kevin hesitated before looking up at him. He really has no idea. Guilt burnt it's way up his throat, guilt for what he was about to say, for what he was about to do.

Do or die. Now or never.

Kevin took another deep breath and prepared himself for the worst.

"It's about my mom."

David paused for a second before shifting in his chair, a twitch in his eyebrows as he tried to read Kevin's face.

"Okay,” Wymack said. “What do you want to know?”

“No, it’s…” Kevin sighed in frustration. A part of him wished he'd written a script, or perhaps left the letter anonymously on his desk for him to find later. Anything that would save him from having this conversation unprepared. Unprepared still, even after he'd spent years thinking about how he would say it. But that wasn't fair, and the longer he waited, the worse it would be.

At least it was easy to forgive his silence when he didn't physically have the letter in South Carolina, but Neil had pulled away the safety net of distance by delivering him the letter, and he couldn't put it off any longer..

“I actually want to tell you something.”

Wymack didn’t understand, and it was written all over his face - he knew that Kevin never really knew his mom, and what he knew he hardly remembered, and what he remembered only existed in flashes and feelings. What could Kevin possibly tell him that he didn't already know?

It was a moment before he made any movement, but looking at Kevin, he held a hand up and raised his eyebrows, "Well?"

"My mom wrote me a letter," Kevin started, as Wymack slowly leaned back into his seat. "I don't know when, or if I was supposed to even see it, or..." Kevin reminded himself to breathe. "She wrote about you."

David exhales a short laugh from his nose, "And what did she say?"

He smiled like he was waiting for a joke to come, like he knew exactly what she could've said. Kevin wasn't sure if there was something in the look on his face, but as he felt every drop of blood in his body draining down into his shoes, David's small smile faded.

"Can I just give it to you?" Kevin said, after another agonising minute of trying to find the right thing to say. "And I don't know how I want you to react, David, I don't know how you're going to feel or what you're going to think. You don't have to say anything, okay? Please don't."

Wymack straightened up again, his smile gone and replaced with an uncomfortable frown. He repeated Kevin, an inquisitive statement, "You don't want me to say anything?"

"Or do, I don't know." Kevin took the letter from his pocket, and it was only then that he realised just how badly he was shaking. David's eyes flickered down to the practically vibrating piece of paper in his hands. "Just... Don't feel like you have to, I guess."

David extended his hand Kevin's way again, but Kevin felt frozen in place. His heart was pounding in his throat, like this was one of the biggest secrets he'd ever kept being spilled out, right in front of his eyes. And it was just that, really, something he'd kept buried deep. This secret was his mother's, not his, and perhaps that made it worse. She decided to keep David in the dark, her burden to bear that he was left out of the loop, but now, Kevin sat there, the truth in his hands, doing his mother's dirty work.

There was no going back once he handed that letter over. There was no pretending he didn't know, there was no more blissful ignorance. Kevin knew that handing over that letter would change Wymack's life - it would turn everything he knew about himself, and Kayleigh, and Kevin on it's head. In just a minute or two more, he would be a father. It would change his relationship with Abby, his relationship with Kevin. It would posthumously change his relationship with Kayleigh, because once Kevin handed it over, he would be a dad, and she had kept that from him. But right then, before the paper left Kevin's hands, he wasn't. For a moment more, he had no idea what the words trembling in Kevin's hands said. It was hard to soak that in when he could barely focus at all.

"You're freaking me out now, kid." David leaned forward, an awkward laugh behind his smile. He was just about able to reach the paper that Kevin held, but he hovered his hand over it instead. "May I?"

When Kevin meekly nodded, he took the letter, and Kevin's stomach finally gave out. He brought his hand up to his mouth to cover the gag that threatened to leave his lunch on the floor. David didn't notice. He sat back instead, smiling as he read the writing that he recognised, the tone just like how she used to speak, presumably.

"She-" He started, a joke or a memory on the tip of his tongue, and Kevin knew where in the letter he was. He knew where he had gotten to, because David's smile was quickly wiped away as he froze, still like a mannequin, exhaling a breath through his now open lips. His eyes were frantic as they skimmed over words that were almost meaningless after what he'd just read.

He flipped the page over, probably waiting to find "Just kidding!" written on the back. But it wasn't there, and he wouldn't find it, and the words wouldn't change no matter how many times he reread them to make sure. Kevin already knew that to be true.

After far too long, he quietly asked, "Where did you get this?"

"She left it with the Master." Kevin swallowed, his mouth dry. "I found it a few years ago."

"A few-" David said, like he'd been punched in the stomach. His words were cut off in his throat as he tried to find something to say. "Who..."

Kevin shoved his shaking hands under his thighs, and bit the inside of his lip to stop himself from crying. He could feel all of these bottled up feelings bubbling in his chest, but when he said he didn't know how he wanted David to react, he meant it. That didn't mean that he wasn't hurt by the silence that fell over the room, that he wasn't hurt by the worry that painted over his face. David wasn't smiling, but he wasn't angry. He wasn't happy, or upset, either. His face was unreadable. Maybe it would be easier if his feelings were clear. Maybe rage would be easier to swallow than shock.

"Jesus," David sighed, and ran a hand down his face. He dropped the letter on the desk, shutting his eyes for a moment.

"You don't have to say anything," Kevin said again, his voice shaking now too, and finally he looked up. Finally he looked into Kevin's eyes, only visible for just a second until they filled with tears that he couldn't hold back. "I just... thought you deserved to know. I'm sorry."

"Yeah," He nodded and looked up at the ceiling. Kevin wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand. He didn't look back at Kevin when he quietly asked, "Who else knows?"

"Jean, Riko," Kevin put a hand on his chest. Any longer and his heart would be on the table in between them. "And... Neil. But he hasn't told anyone, I promise."

"You told Neil?" It was almost angry, but more tired than anything else. Like all his energy had been sucked out of him by reading just a few words on a page.

"No, Coach, I didn't," Kevin was quick to clear up the assumption. He sniffed, and David pursed his lips as Kevin tried to talk through the tears that spilled down his cheeks, unstoppable, guilt filled. "He found the letter over the holidays and he brought it back here with him. I'm sorry."

David sighed again, and after a long and terrible pause, he said, "Kevin, I need a minute."

Kevin tried to find just an ounce of something in his words, a speck of relief, or reassurance, or anything that would make Kevin feel even just a little bit better about the decision he'd made. His hand was forced, in a way, twisted behind his back as Neil pushed him into Wymack's office to tell him the truth.

"Okay," Kevin agreed, and picked the letter up to replace it back into his pocket. "I'm sorry."

"Stop that," David clicked his tongue and waved him off. "I just need time to think."

Kevin nearly tripped over his own feet trying to get up. He crossed the room, the weight of the conversation left unspoken pulling him back, begging to be understood and spoken about and explained over and over. But he had to go. David needed space, and he needed time. It wasn't fair to expect anything else from him.

The door had just about closed before he had sighed again.

"Kev," He crossed his arms, and Kevin turned to look at him, holding the door open with an outstretched hand. "We'll talk later."

"Sure." He nodded with a teary exhale. He wasn't sure if what he felt was relief or not, but it was something, as it always was. Perhaps it was just the reassurance of a conversation to be had, instead of a topic that would be buried and forgotten, living on through his mother's faded handwriting and the very few people who knew.

"Just not right now," David clarified with a weak and desperate smile.

"Okay." Kevin's lip trembled. "Thank you, Coach."

David looked between Kevin's eyes for a moment longer before he gestured to him that that was all. He reached for the phone in front of him as Kevin quietly shut the door. The door was too thick and the ringing in his ears too loud for him to eavesdrop on what was being said or who he was talking to. Kevin used the collar of his t-shirt to wipe his eyes again.

They'd talk about it later.

Kevin did the only thing that he knew he could do, and he jogged down to the court. Andrew would kill him for being on the court without gear, a practice racquet in his hands that hadn't been stored away earlier. Coach would kill him for firing shots without a helmet on, but still Kevin dropped a ball in his net, and with his left hand, he fired towards the goal until it lit up red, until all that was left in his head was red lights and loud buzzers, and the bouncing of a ball against plexiglass.

[velvetvexations]

that post going around talking about how a trans man and trans woman both got denied from a shelter and someone replied "at least you [the trans man] had the option even if it was denied" really makes me feel like some transradfems see trans men/mascs/trans people AFAB in general being forced to detransition as not as horrifying as trans women/fems/trans people AMAB being forced to detransition. like they can't wrap their heads around femininity being unwillingly forced on someone instead of being a desirable thing to strive for. like they think trans people AFAB are in possession of the femininity they want so badly, so to them a trans man being forced to detransition and present as a cis woman again isn't a result of transphobic violence, it's "retreating into a position of privilege". like we're dangling our AGAB over them or something.

it's genuinely just baffling to me because honestly, being 100% real with you, as a now-fully-transitioned trans man, i think i would genuinely rather die than detransition and live as a woman again. i've had actual nightmares about waking up as a teenager that looks like a girl again that made me cry. but that doesn't mean i hear about trans women/fems being forced to detransition and think of it as "a return to the masculinity i've been denied". forcing literally anyone, trans or not, to live as a gender they don't feel comfortable in is a disgusting, horrific, and violent act that i wouldn't even wish on the most virulently hateful individual i know, regardless of whether or not they were trans. living as a girl/woman made me fucking miserable, and the constant dysphoria was torture.

i just can't understand why some transradfems simply refuse to entertain the idea that a trans person who was AFAB being forced to detransition is not some gotcha moment that they can call us out for like we're mockingly waving our Inherent Femininity in the face of trans women and fems everywhere. this shit is an act of horrific transphobic violence against us. they can understand it'd be awful if it happened to THEM, of course, but not against trans people AFAB. can they really not understand the idea that femininity and womanhood isn't liberating for those who are unwillingly forced into it?

again, i'm a genderqueer trans guy, and i've found expressing my masculinity to be incredibly freeing and amazing for my mental health and overall well-being--but i know enough about gender dysphoria and the pain of toxic masculinity to understand why a trans person AMAB might not be able to find embracing masculinity liberating or enjoyable. it seems like a very basic concept to understand about fellow trans people. it's legitimately baffling to me that most transradfems can't seem to do the same.

but i guess when you've drank the radfem koolaid, you can't see masculinity as anything but evil and transgressive, so i probably shouldn't be so damn confused. 🤷‍♂️

God, that's so frustrating. They could detransition if they wanted to escape transphobic violence too, but they recognize why that's not generally an option. They're selfish nitwits who can't think outside of themselves for so much as five seconds.

[yuri-is-online]

Hi I love your soulmate au, consider Ace or Deuce as soulmate but not touching each other until much later.

rules for au/prev posts can be found on my masterlist

So I could not quite tell if you meant ace x deuce or aceyuu/deuceyuu but since I am a Yuu focused blog (and you said "or... but not untill later") I am going to focus on x yuu.

I think the first potential time for them to touch Yuu is after beating the phantom at the end of the dwarf's mine. They're cheering, you're cheering, there's a half second where they scoop up Grim and swing him around and half reach for you but... hesitate. It's like everything stops for a moment before he shakes himself out of it. You're just Yuu, some magicless human he literally met today, why's he feeling so... strange about it???

I could see Ace knowing about soulbonds. His best subject is magic analysis/theory, he's far from unaware of theoretical concepts. But he's also Ace. The bratty kid who hates being seen as vulnerable, who thinks romantic things are uncool, whose way more comfortable being someone's friend than he is their boyfriend. He doesn't want a destined mate, he wants someone he can laugh with and likes being around... and he sort of hates how much you fit that description. So! Only solution he can think of is trying to bait you into making physical contact first, that way if anyone makes a big deal about this all consuming need to be close to each other it's you and not him.

Even though he's the one who proposes sharing a bed. It would have been your fault if you said yes! He's unprepared for what it feels like to get his wish, after Vil curses him to spend the night on the floor with Deuce and Grim he expects you to just abandon him to your room... but you creep back with blankets and pillows for your friends and hesitate when you go to give them to him. Slowly, so gently it makes a mockery of the searing undeniable realization that tears through him as you lay yourself next to him and lay your hand on his shoulder and rest.

While he lies there awake cursing Vil (he refuses to blame himself) for denying him the ability to hold onto you like he should.

~~~~

Deuce is different, I don't think he would be aware of soulbonds nor does he seem to believe in soulmates. I don't think he's thought much of romance at all really, so he doesn't fully understand what he's experiencing or why he's so nervous to touch you. He wants to though. Badly. It's all he can think about sometimes, he's never had a friendship this close or intimate. He really treasures you and this closeness, he doesn't want to break it. While Deuce might not know what is driving this desire, he knows that if he touches you he will understand. And that scares him, what if he breaks you with touch? What if nothing good can come from this connection, what if he is unable to let you go? He really wants you to be able to see your home again... but the thought of losing you leaves him strangely listless. Like you would be taking a part of him with you...

I don't think he ever finds the correct word for it. Maybe sometime way in the future Malleus or a professor will make him aware, but somewhere in a dream he finds it; the understanding of just what this bond means. Physically, he is unconscious in a hospital bed after failing to dodge the shards of Ramshackle Dorm's ceiling, but mentally he is wrapped in the warm, heavy sensation of his love for you. When he wakes and you aren't there he almost tears himself in half looking, and when you come back he holds you so tightly you can feel the tension shaking through his body. The only thing that soothes him is your gentle touch on his back, rubbing soothing circles into his soul as he breathes the bond between you in.

[dilvuc]

hi! Could I request Blade x male reader who is part of the stellaron hunters but has a similar personality to Jing yuan, like lazy as heck. Im think of a prompt where maybe the reader and blade are on a mission together and the reader has to get serious but ends up getting seriously injured and captured. And Blade rescues the reader and takes care of his injuries?(I’m sorry if this isnt a lot of detail im not good at explaining things ;; if you need more details let me know! Just call me Squishy Anon!! <3)

❝RECKLESSNESS❞

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: angst/fluff

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗: male

𝖙𝖎𝖙𝖑𝖊: recklessness

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: blade x m!reader

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌: short

you rest in on the beanbag, lazily sleep peacefully until someone rudely kicks your beanbag, knocking you off. you grunted, rubbing your head, “Why?!”

“We have a mission…” blade told you. you grunted and leaned off your beanbag, “At least be gentle next time…”

“If your ass isn't so lazy. Get serious.” the dark raven haired male ordered you. you huffed and put up your serious expression. surely the mission will end swiftly, right?

wrong…

✎

you got caught up in a trap, causing yourself to get injured. this was enough for the cloud knights to capture you before blade could bail you out. blade doesn't even know what he's gonna do with you, so it’s up to him to rescue you.

you are seated alone in a shackling prison, awaiting for blade to arrive. you just know that blade is worrying about you, but won't admit it.

“Took you long enough~” you smirked, ignoring the pain in your body. blade scoffed and removed the cuffs off your wrists, “Don't think I'm doing this for you.”

“If it isn't for me, then why did you come for me?” you teased as blade wrapped your arm around his shoulder and helped you on your feet.

“Do you want me to leave you?” the dark raven haired male growled.

✎

“...Why did I agree to this?” blade huffed while wrapping the bandage around your arm. kafka chuckled with her hand clasp over her lips, “You agreed to this, bladie. isn't he your boyfriend?”

“And we're partners, aren't we—ow.” you hissed when the male tightening the bandage around your arm. “Why?!”

“He's not my boyfriend nor are we partners. Just co-workers.” the dark raven haired male clarified, causing you to sulk. you booed at him, “Boo~ You're no fun.”

the woman giggled and walked toward the door to leave you two alone, “I'll leave you two to have fun.”

blade just scowls and continues to patch you up. he really doesn't like you, does he? blade always been so cruel and yet he's always partnering up with you without any complaints. you tried asking him if he wanted someone to take his place, but he denied and rudely agreed to stay as your partner. you decide to test the theory.

“...If you don't want to patch me up, then at least let Silver Wolf or Kafka do it—” blade cut you off and said, “I got it. You don't need anyone to patch you up.”

“Geez. You really want to take care of me so badly that you love me?” you teased, causing blade to flinch a little before focusing back on patching you up. you jumped when he tightened the bandage again. “Ow~”

blade glared, “Keep your mouth or I'll cut your lips open.”

“You're so mean…” you sweatdropped.

though you had not realized, the dark raven haired male was hiding his blush from your sight. he just wasn't prepared to let you know his feelings yet.

╰┈➤ author note: please note that this is a slow update. i will still accept your request, but it will take a while since i'll be working on my books on wattpad. if you wish to read those books, here's my wattpad account.

rules

honkai star rail

[astraystayyh]

You and I

In which you wrongly lash out at Hyunjin and have to mend it back. Human character who makes mistakes and apologizes for them.

You've always envied the people who seek others' warmth when they are feeling down. They seem to become almost translucent, allowing their sadness to seep away from them as their loved one comforts them- as their words and touch wrap around them, leaving no room for sadness or anger to exist anymore.

You, however, are quite the opposite.

Whenever an emotion overwhelms you, you instantly withdraw yourself, refusing for anyone to approach you. You can't let anyone touch you or talk to you, not when the feel of your clothes against your skin irritates you, and you swear you can hear the sound of each blood droplet rushing through your veins, unbearably loud.

Hyunjin doesn't know this.

How could he know? How do you tell someone you've been dating for one month that something as simple as regulating your emotions drains you? That you need to hide, for a couple of hours, sometimes days, just to feel a semblance of normalcy again.

So, you kept it hidden, trying your best to still your feelings; akin to the surface of an undisturbed river. It was easy to do so when being with Hyunjin brought you immense joy. It almost lulled you into thinking that you'd stay this way forever- happy, content. But you are human, and you can't escape the very essence of it- emotions in their rawest form.

You wish you could have told him- that you'd prefer being alone and that you'd talk to him when you're feeling well again. But it isn't time for regrets now. Not when the thoughts in your head swirl chaotically, making the world around you blur. You're overwhelmed, by your studies and a voice in your head that never truly quits down. And you can feel Hyunjin looking at you from the corner of your eye.

He's been worried about you all night, asking you if you were okay and if there was something he could do to help. But every question seemed to drive you over the edge, pushing you closer and closer to the brink of exploding.

"Baby, are you sure there is nothing I can do?" he asks for the umpteenth time, placing a hand on your shoulder. His concern is evident, stemming from a genuine place of care. And you want to slap a hand on your mouth to stop the words from tumbling out, but you don't.

"You know what I need Hyunjin? For you to leave me alone. Is that so hard to understand for you?" you question, looking straight ahead. You sense him physically recoil at your words, hand swiftly retracting back near his side. "I already told you what to do, and you're just making it worse. I can't deal with this right now."

A low chuckle emanates from him, it sounds cold and distant- nothing like you've ever heard from Hyunjin.

"Deal with this? You mean, deal with me?" he stands up abruptly, hand running angrily through his hair. "You know what? You've made it abundantly clear what you needed from me. I'm just fucking stupid for being worried." He grabs his jacket, as his words pierce you like a bow shot by Achilles himself.

Really now? You brought this on yourself and now you're feeling sad? Did you expect him to apologize, beg for you? The voice in your head taunts you and your own gets caught in your throat. 'Im sorry, stay, I didn't mean to lash out' You want to plead, but you remain silent as if someone's robbed you of your ability to speak.

"I'm sorry for making it worse for you, you don't have to worry about it ever again," he sounds angry, but you can sense the underlying sadness in his words. Your eyes meet his and the look on his face tears you apart. You've never seen him so... stricken, so severely affected; by your own doing none the less.

Hyunjin slams the door behind him, as an ugly sob escapes your lips. You've hurt him, badly, you aren't sure how to fix it when you can't even fix yourself.

....

Two days have passed. Forty-eight hours of trying to sort out your thoughts, only to have them tangled even further. The reason why you were overwhelmed in the first place fades into the back of your mind. The only thing you could think of was Hyunjin.

He hadn't called or texted, not that you expected him to. He said you didn't have to worry about it anymore, so he's giving you space, lots of space at that. Isn't that what you wanted? It was, but not like this. Not at the expense of hurting him.

You look absolutely disheveled as you knock on Hyunjin's door. It's 5:47 pm, an odd time for reconciliation, at least that's what you hope will happen as Hyunjin opens the door.

He's seemingly taken aback at the sight of you. His eyes swiftly narrow, and you take an unconscious step back at the animosity in his gaze. "What do you want?"

"Can we talk, please?"

Hyunjin scrutinizes you for a moment, his expression guarded. He looks far better than you, but there are newfound dark circles under his eyes. You hope you aren't the cause behind him.

"Come in," he steps away and you enter, uncertainty hanging over the both of you like a heavy fog.

Hyunjin settles on the couch but you remain standing, pacing back and forth as you try to organize your thoughts. Everything you wanted to say seemingly vanished you when you needed it most.

"Sit down. You're making me dizzy," he finally says, rubbing his eyes tiredly. You oblige quickly, heels now tapping furiously on the ground.

"Would you like some water?" he asks after a while, and there is a timid softness in his words, one you clung to so you'd be able to breathe again.

"No, thank you." You lick your lips nervously. "Hyunjin, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked to you that way. I was mean and rude and I understand that I had hurt you. But it wasn't my intention. It's never ever my intention to hurt you. I care about you too much for that."

"People you care about shouldn't make things worse for you," he points out, refusing to meet your gaze.

"You aren't... I mean, it's not you. It's me."

"Really?" he arches an eyebrow at the stereotypical sentence and you groan, frustrated at your inability to articulate your regret properly.

"Look, I got overwhelmed and when I'm like this, I need to stay alone. It has nothing to do with you, or how I feel for you. And I feel for you a lot, and I'm so scared I'll lose you and I can't seem to speak well-" tears trail down your cheek and you wipe them away angrily. You brought this on yourself, you shouldn't cry on top of it.

"I'm so sorry, immensely sorry, Hyunjin. if you still want me, I promise you I will never do this again. I won't lash out at you, you don't deserve that and it was uncalled for. I'm really sorry."

His silence is deafening as you nervously pick at your cuticles, scratching them over and over in your anxiousness. Why isn't he saying anything?

"Okay, um..." you chuckle nervously, as the bulge in your throat threatens to swallow you whole. "I'll let you think of it. I'm so sorry again. And I'm sorry for coming before asking you if you were busy. I'm sorry to bother you and I'm- I'm sorry I'm this way." You hurriedly stand up, heading towards the door when a warm hand wraps around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

Hyunjin's arms circle your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder, anchoring you in place.

"When I'm sad or angry, being near you makes me feel better. It really does. I thought I could do the same for you. That's why I insisted on staying. But I shouldn't have. You and I are different, doesn't mean it's bad," he mumbles onto your neck, tightening his hold on you.

"You've hurt me a lot, but I forgive you because I want us to do better next time. No yelling. No harsh words, okay?"

"Okay. I'll do better. I'm so sorry. So sorry, Hyunjin, you have no idea."

"It's okay. We're good now."

"Really?" you turn around, clutching his arms tightly. "I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you, stop apologizing," he giggles softly, wiping away the tears trailing down your face.

"I'm sorry, I swear I won't do it again," you apologize again, burying your face in his chest. your tears dampen his shirt but you can't move away. Not that you could in the first place, since his hold on you only tightens further.

"I believe you. Stop crying, please."

"Okay, I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry for saying sorry."

"Shh, baby. No more crying. I missed you," Hyunjin admits softly, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

"I missed you so much more. More than you know."

"Maybe we should start telling each other exactly how much, hm? Not leave it up to imagination."

"Okay, I will. I want to work on this with you. If you want."

"I want to. Couldn't sleep without you."

"I'm so sorry," it slips from your mouth before you can stop it, guilt overflowing from you in waves.

"I thought I told you to stop apologizing, hm?" he questions as he picks you up and spins you around, as a laugh escapes your lips, morphing into full-blown giggles. It is only when a genuine smile graces your lips that Hyunjin puts you down once again.