#again if anyone has concert recordings that are not in this post and are willing to share i be very interested 👀

[meiloorunsmoothie]

Jeremy Jordan masterpost (part 2!)

Well that certainly took longer than I was expecting. Part 1 is here.

I also realized that it’s absolutely crazy to try and cover all his concerts, so these are just the ones that I have personally listened to/watched. Since I’ve listened to them, I also included some of my thoughts (if you care for that kind of stuff 💀).

Again, the shows in blue (which should be most of them) are the ones that I have a version different from the one I linked below. Like the last post, if you want access to that, dm me—I’m willing to gift each person up to two!

Without further ado, let’s start :D

Concerts

Breaking Character (2014):

His first cabaret style show! Personally still one of my favorites. Love the guests he brought on. This is the only one of his shows (that I know of) where the setlist fluctuates depending on the specific show.

Highlights: Fun songs he hasn’t really done since such as Anthem, Chipotle, Maybe I’m Amazed.

Original Songs: Good Enough (+ deleted rap verse depending on the show), Revelation, Underwater

Pretty much the full show (with Ashley and Krysta): https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLr-KiuMoSWPGioEdNHEbAJCbvG6p6fiqP&si=IDddaYii8eZYFpfc

If anyone has the recording of the show with Keke Palmer, I’ve been looking for that one

Jeremy’s T.E.R.R.I.B.L.E.! (2015):

Honestly this show made me a little uncomfortable 💀. It’s in a “game show” style and is actually really fun in the beginning (there are audience questions and JJ trivia), but it then takes a bit of a weird personal turn (although he said in an interview that he wanted that part to come out of nowhere so 🤷‍♀️. Had me squirming in my chair a bit).

Highlights: Everyone’s Come Here to See Me (one of my favorites of his openers), the audience questions, the ‘I don’t want to sing that’ medley, Under the Sea (Jeremy’s version)

Original Songs: Breathe Again, a song about facing his greatest fear (I’m just gonna call it ‘everyone’s naked’ haha, iykyk)

Everyone’s Come Here to See Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7_pU05G9GA

Breathe Again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B1QE_RbXvU

London - Hippodrome (2016):

This show seems to be a mix of Breaking Character and Jeremy’s T.E.R.R.I.B.L.E.!. Works a little better than Jeremy’s T.E.R.R.I.B.L.E.!, in my opinion. A pretty fun show overall!

Highlights: audience questions again, ‘Take Me or Leave Me’ with Ashley, the most EPIC medley ever

Original Songs: Good Enough (new lyrics), Hold On (A BOP), Memories of Loving You (one of my favs <3)

Here are some of the songs: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxsnvbhJ7KZPknZrui1vqsWybt340BGMa&si=vhvnmLhfy-Ee-Dwp

If anyone has the pro-shot or recordings from different days (I know they’re out there!), I am looking for those!

Elsie Fest (2017):

Love this set! I rewatch it almost monthly 💀.

Full set: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUizICzFhgU

Starring Opposite of You (2018):

Such a fun show! This is his and Ashley’s joint concert, and they do lots of fun medleys together!

Highlights: past shows medley (where they reverse roles), Jeremy’s old songs, musical duets medley

Original Songs: Guitar Medley, Memories of Loving You

Almost the full show: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiHqD-T4otnAentv3OPKM3cxxa6BbH8Mc&si=zGyqLpZHRvDvecAg

Cadogan Hall (2018):

Love this show! He sings a bunch of songs he doesn’t normally sing because he had to reschedule multiple times. Honestly, probably one of my favorites of his concerts.

Highlights: Raise a Little Hell, LET ME MAKE YOU PROUD (I’M SO HAPPY HE ACTUALLY SANG FROM TANGLED THE SERIES. unfortunately the audience doesn’t seem as enthused), Schmuel Song, It’s All Coming Back To Me Now (!!), honestly so many

Original Songs: Undertow (love this one), Guitar Medley, Underwater

Full show: https://soundcloud.com/no-1481/sets/cadogan-hall-1-9-18?si=574334f4e6f2415999efe787ba662994&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Shows with Seth Rudetsky (2018 + 2019):

Pretty fun shows! Half concert, half interview style, so very interesting, as well.

Highlights: that bonnie moment, his proposal story

2018 show: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiHqD-T4otnAp8cxF1XNgDcy_HUJIkTEl&si=6gQWqnnvE9QB3w4R

2019 show: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgJNsjoixqObyeUvYiXPUn9-eyarTPqh4

If anyone has the show they did at The Herbst, I’m looking for it!

Modern Broadway w/ Betsy Wolfe (2019):

Not my favorite, but there are some fun songs and duets.

Highlights: She Used to Be Mine (Betsy), Waving Through a Window (Jeremy), Suddenly Seymour (both)

Carnegie Hall (2019):

He royally messes up ‘Moving too Fast’ and forgets the beginning of ‘Oh, What a Beautiful Morning’, but everything else and the orchestra are great.

Highlights: Undertow with full orchestration

Original Songs: Undertow

Here are some songs: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiHqD-T4otnBoMy4jbPimGN8HCA1V0pnz&si=-k_u-7MrETj0pg0c

Moving too Fast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wd5wzCs2su8

Medley w/ Ashley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XuKEdFuEj4

Cadogan Hall (2019):

He makes it a trend to do new stuff at his London shows, so lots of fun material at this concert too! The crowd cheers so much that he comes back out for a second encore.

Highlights: Princess Jeremy Medley (debut), The Greatest Showman Medley (debut)

Original Songs: The Sun

Princess Jeremy: https://thebookofkate22.tumblr.com/post/188718478707/jeremy-jordan-cadogan-hall-261019-disney

Bonnie and Clyde medley: https://thebookofkate22.tumblr.com/post/188718456037/jeremy-jordan-cadogan-hall-261019-bonnie

The Sun: https://thebookofkate22.tumblr.com/post/188718500882/jeremy-jordan-cadogan-hall-261019-sun

Run Away With Me: https://thebookofkate22.tumblr.com/post/188718462872/jeremy-jordan-cadogan-hall-261019-run-away

Greatest Showman Medley: https://thebookofkate22.tumblr.com/post/188718570932/jeremy-jordan-cadogan-hall-261019-greatest

Santa Fe: https://thebookofkate22.tumblr.com/post/188719473097/andplaces-jeremy-jordan-in-concert-27-october

If anyone has the full 10/27 matinee show, I’m looking for it!

UCPAC (2020):

Pretty standard show, some overall with the 2019 Cadogan Hall show.

Highlights: Princess Jeremy, At Last

Original Songs: The Sun

Moving too Fast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InaR0nkcBe0

She Used to Be Mine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OotBKr3SUhE

Last Five Years Medley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0JJVS9_Ifg

Broadway, Here I Come: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cph4GdJVewE

Princess Jeremy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMvZhf6wlNs

The Scientist/Yesterday/So Far Away: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keiBHJfxKq0

At Last: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUwC0CNl4gw

Carry On (2020 + 2021):

My favorite Jeremy show ever! I think it’s very well directed and cleverly designed. Definitely on the more serious side (there are fun moments), so not your typical JJ show. I think this is a much more successful version of what he tried to do with Jeremy’s T.E.R.R.I.B.L.E..

Highlights: I literally can’t pick, the whole thing is so good—but I think the shows he did with live audiences packs a bigger punch (the pro-shot is amazing too though, and slightly different from the 2020 version).

Live Version:

Broadway, Here I Come: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJa5bpH4FAA

Santa Fe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP5OnYXoSRQ

Princess Jeremy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_Sz4UZcARE

Pro-Shot (thanks, @personinthepalace!):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMbraZrrh1o

I am always looking for recordings of the shows he did before COVID and will probably trade very unfairly for them!

The Seth Concert Series (COVID 💀):

Pretty fun shows, similar to the other Seth shows but with different songs.

Highlights: HURRICANE (I love death note), Donny Novitski, he talks about tangled in one of them!

Bonnie & Clyde Medley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVyK-YJlwPQ

Past Shows Medley w/ Ashley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRLyNN6znJ4

If anyone has his first TSCS show (I’m not actually quite sure how many there are), I’m looking for it!

Drury Lane (2022):

Another London show (which are always the best)! It’s definitely feels like a level up, lots of guests (Mikael from AOM, Frances Mayli Mccann, Andy Mientus (for one show)), and a sneak peek (at the time) of some AOM songs. Also, Ben tries to get him to sing Let it Go throughout the whole show and finally succeeds in the end.

Highlights: All the guest stars, Frozen II Medley, THE ENCORE IS SO SO GOOD (I love Jeremy’s version of Meant to be Yours)

Original Songs: Unfortunately he kind of stopped singing originals after COVID, but the AOM songs I guess

Drury Lane Medley: https://musical-treasures.tumblr.com/post/694059841368506368/jeremy-jordan-drury-lane-medley-drury-lane

When We Were Young: https://musical-treasures.tumblr.com/post/694134704948101120/jeremy-jordan-when-we-were-young-adele-when-we

Bonnie & Clyde Medley w/ Frances: https://musical-treasures.tumblr.com/post/694059561774186496/jeremy-jordan-and-frances-mayli-mccann-bonnie

AOM set: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2P75zO_Y-E

What You Own w/ Andy: https://musical-treasures.tumblr.com/post/694058609967005696/jeremy-jordan-andy-mientus-what-you-own

Frozen II: https://musical-treasures.tumblr.com/post/694058947225829376/jeremy-jordan-frozen-ii-medley-29th-august-2022

Encore: https://musical-treasures.tumblr.com/post/694058885053661184/jeremy-jordan-roles-i-could-play-in-the-london

They must release the pro-shot of this (please I’m begging). But if anyone has the second day, I’ve been looking for it!

The Cabaret (2023):

His most recent fully recorded concert (I believe). Pretty standard show. It’s not Ben at the piano, but actually his MD from the Broadway Cruise—they make a pretty good pair too!

Highlights: Princess Jeremy (yes, I just love this medley), erm this is embarrassing but I actually can’t quite remember much else standing out from this show (might change later if I listen to it again)

Bring Him Home: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxsdFG4zqFE

She Used to Be Mine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx-gWWau4kA

Santa Fe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlcMZp0TlRU

West Coast Tour (2024):

Most recent concert series :))). I think the setlist changed a bit between shows, but it looked really really fun. Fun fact, this is the first concert he’s done since I became a fan (minus a couple one-offs), so I was definitely hyper fixated on it hehe. We’ll see if more content crops up in the future.

Highlights: JJ and Ben: A Decade of Song, Newsies in Ten Minutes (aka my favorite vid on the internet right now)

Shiksa Goddess: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdCs3039SLI&t=5s

JJ and Ben Medley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKWZEEH3YRg

Newsies Abridged: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sytv1huDms4

Santa Fe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCDInP-2dLo

If you went to this show, I’m so so jealous. But if you happened to take a recording, I would be forever grateful and will trade very unfairly for it 👀

Well, those are all the concerts that I’m aware of (that have been recorded in some way), if you happen to have one (a recording) that I missed, please dm me! I would love to trade!

Now that I’ve basically fully revealed myself as a *pirate* (rip), I will see you in my next post hahaha…

[illfoandillfie]

Anyone who has been following me for a while has probably seen me talk about a project I’ve been hoping to get started - creating a Queen themed tarot deck. Well, good news, I’ve finished basic planning stuff and I’m ready to start actually making the cards!

BUT I am definitely not up to creating 78 individual artworks, so that’s where this post comes in. 

I’m looking for artists who would like to create a piece or two which will be used in this tarot deck. I’ve organised general ideas of what each card will feature so that we get a good range of images and theres a connection to the meanings of each card.

For the moment I’m going to focus on the Major Arcana of which there are 22. So, if you are an artist in the Queen fandom and would be interested in participating please follow the link below to a short survey I’ve created where you’ll be asked to rank the cards in order of which you’d be most interested in creating art for. 

LINK

Below the cut I have included the list of cards and the prompts for each one, as well as some other info about the project. If you have any questions that weren’t covered below please send me a message (via ask box or dm)! 

If you see this and aren’t artistically inclined please give it a reblog. I’d love this post to reach as many artists as possible and I can’t rely on tumblr to show it in the tags or anything so I would love some extra help spreading the world. 

Why A Tarot Deck?

I’m honestly not even sure where exactly this idea came from. All I remember is that one day I thought it would be a fun idea and then I started thinking about it more and realised just how much work it would be. In an effort to learn about the meanings of the tarot cards I started learning to read tarot (something I’ve been curious about for many years now anyway) and it all sort of snowballed from there. 

Why Multiple Artists? 

Because I’m not confident or capable enough of pulling this off on my own lmao. I enjoy making art but I struggle big time with drawing people and faces and I know I would give up after a handful of cards if I was doing this on my own. But multi-artist decks are very much a thing in the tarot community and theres some really cool ones out there. 

What Sort of Art?

Anything. Whatever medium you enjoy using - digital, watercolour, acrylics, charcoal, etc - and whatever your style is! As long as you can send me a clean copy that can fit into the card template, then you can do what you like. The prompts I’ve chosen for each card are also fairly loose because I didn’t want to limit anyone’s creativity. Part of the joy of a collaborative deck is everyone’s individual interpretations of the cards and the imagery on them. 

The only times I may say you can’t depict a particular outfit or moment is if I’ve already planned it to be on one of the minor arcana cards but otherwise you’ll have free reign. 

 I Don’t Know Anything About Tarot, Does That Matter?

NOPE! After the survey responses have been collected I will deal out the cards to everyone (hopefully in a way where everyone gets to work on something they really want to 🤞) and part of that will include a PDF with some information about the card - keywords associated with it, examples of other decks, why that prompt was chosen for it, etc - to help you get started if you need it. I am also always available to ask questions or bounce ideas off of. 

Distribution?

This is the part I’m still looking into. I am wary of putting these up for sale anywhere because obviously there are copyright things and using people’s likenesses and all of that and the last thing I want is for my favourite band to take me to court lmao. Currently I am investigating a site called Make Playing Cards which basically lets you design your own card decks (one of the specific options being tarot cards) and print them off without having to bulk order anything. I’m just not entirely sure if they let you upload and share a design for free or if you have to put them up for sale. I’ll also create a PDF version that people can print themselves at home if they like. If anyone has any other suggestions for this I am all ears! 

Of course something like Kickstarter is also an option I guess but, again, I’m still looking into all of this. 

Time frame?

I definitely do not want to rush this. The loose timeline I’ve been working off of gives you three or four months to create your card after which time I can start finding people for the minor arcana cards. But, this can be adjusted depending on how many people sign up and y’know if everyone submits their pieces earlier than that then we can bump the next stage up. But I want to give everyone ample time to create something they are proud of. And I am very aware that the current global situation is affecting people’s creative energies and on top of that some of you may be participating in Inktober or similar things around this time of year, so I am also happy to extend the timeline.

What Happens If Not Enough People Sign Up?

Look, I guess it depends on how few artists are interested. Ideally I’d get enough people to do the major arcana but I’m not getting my hopes up. There is a question in the survey asking if you’d be willing to create multiple pieces so if there are left over cards I can hand them out to anyone who says they want them. I can also do a couple myself I just can’t do all 78 cards on my own. 

What Happens If Too Many People Sign Up?

I am surprisingly prepared for this scenario. Firstly there were a few ideas I was throwing around that didn’t end up being used in the final list so potentially we can create some alternate cards. 

Secondly, there is still the minor arcana to do as well. The minors will work a bit differently though. The minor arcana is similar to a deck of playing cards with four suits (wands, cups, pentacles, swords) and the numbers ace through ten plus four court cards (king, queen, knight, page). I was thinking the same artist could pick a number or court position and create the four cards for it so that they all match, if that makes sense. That way all of the Fours will look the similar and all of the kings will look similar etc. SO if anyone doesn’t get to do a major arcana I’ll check if they’d be interested in tacking a minor instead. 

You Said There Would Be A List Where’s The List?

The Fool/s - Smile

The Magician/s - Queen

The High Priestess - Freddie in The Great Pretender

The Empress - Roger in The Great Pretender

The Emperor - Miami

The Hierophant - The Prophets Song

The Lovers - Freddie and Jim

The Chariot - Tour Bus

Justice - Present Day Bri

The Hermit - Older John

Wheel of Fortune - A Night At The Opera/Bohemian Rhapsody record

Strength - Ben Hardy

The Hanged Man - Highlander (or any of the queen songs featured in it)

Death - Bri in the Hard Life video

Temperance - Naked bicycle race

The Devil - Death on Two Legs

The Tower - Frank from News of the World

The Star - Rami Malek

The Moon - Gwilym Lee

The Sun - Joe Mazzello

Judgement - Adam Lambert/Q+AL?

The World - Made In Heaven/Tribute Concert

As you can see there’s a mix of Queen themselves, other people associated with them, objects associated with the band, and songs. I know some of these are sightly out there or unusual but please have a think about them and see if any spark your interest or get the creative juices flowing. I am also open to discussing potential other images to use instead if you’ve got an idea. As long as they can be tied to the meaning of the cards. 

[cameforagoodtime]

One Direction and Management

Okay, to start off, I am a quarantine fan. I didn’t know anything about One Direction until a couple of months ago. I am sure that there are things that I don’t know anything about, and I can guide you to accounts of people who have been fans since the beginning (or at least pre-hiatus) because they are much more knowledgable about everything and also have seen progressions that I will never be able to understand. That being said, in my couple of months being a fan I have seen many misconceptions about the music industry that seem to be prevalent in this fandom. I also need to disclose that I do not have a perfect understanding of the music industry. I have a much better understanding than the general public, but everyone in this fandom has a better understanding of the industry than the GP so that’s not much of a distinction. What sets me apart is that I have access to someone who was formerly a part of the music industry. My dad was in a band for 11 years (from 1989-2000) and during that time he developed an understanding of how the industry works. I know that I am not completely knowledgable about the ins and outs of how the music industry works, but I talk with my dad about music all the time so I have an understanding different than the casual fan. 

Also, most of the time when I am writing about the fandom as a whole I am writing about post-hiatus fans. Most of the long-term fans that I have come across are so battle worn that they intrinsically have a great understanding of the industry. The problem comes from the people that haven’t seen the ebbs and flows of the industry over the last 10 years and tend to make incorrect assumptions.

One thing that I see all the time with the boys (especially Harry) is this inherent distrust of managers and management. I see where it comes from, Modest was absolutely terrible and did terrible things to the boys (though you have to admit even though they’re terrible they operated with incredible amounts of success). The major difference between Modest and all of the boy’s current managements is that they didn’t choose Modest. It’s widely known that the first deal that you get in the industry will take advantage of you. I have heard stories of small bands that are signed to a label that end up having to pay off their debts for decades after. The boys were pigeonholed into a deal with Syco from being on the X-factor, the contracts they had to sign to even be able to compete on the show ensured that. Because of that, Syco was able to take advantage of their naivety and get a better deal (for Syco not for the boys).

In general, management is a separate deal from the label. A label generally does not assign a management team, usually an artist already has a management (or at least a manager) before they negotiate their first deal. Because of the contracts the boys signed to get them on x-factor, they were pigeonholed into Syco and Modest, and then all the problems that we know and love started happening (though I do think that its very interesting to think about the first year and a half where Modest really didn’t exert a lot of control, but that’s a thought for a different post). I think people in this fandom tend to think of every management company as Modest and don’t understand that the first offer (which is what the boys accepted after the X-Factor) is always going to screw you over.

I think the best way to describe the normal relationship between artist, management, and label is that the management works for the artist, the artist works for the label. The reason that the management is necessary is because the label can (and does) try its best to screw people over. Artists hire a management to make sure that their interests are protected in the face of the label. I think most of what I am talking about is with Harry, so mostly I’m going to talk about the Azoffs. 

Irving Azoff is one of the best managers in the industry. He won an honorary grammy, and he is widely regarded as the most powerful person in the music industry. The way he has gained this power is by being cut throat. I am in no way defending Irving (or Jeff) Azoff, I think it is very likely that they are terrible people, but they are undoubtedly very good at their jobs. Your manager should not be your best friend, and I think all of the boys know that. Your manager should, however, be someone that you believe will fight tooth and nail for your best interests, and the Azoffs have proven time and time again that they are willing to do that. Irving Azoff is widely credited for the weakening of power that the labels have had over the last couple of decades because of his willingness to cut other people down for his clients. 

Here is where we get into my experiences. My dad’s manager was a guy named Alan (Al). Al is a super awesome guy, was a great manager for my dad, but at the end of the day he is pushy, micromanages everything, and I’m not going to lie I’ve heard stories of my dad being super annoyed with him. The reason my dad kept him around, however, was because he was really good at his job. Al would negotiate with the venue to get he highest pay, he would negotiate with the label to get more money out of a record, and sometimes he did the hard thing and told the band the things they didn’t want to hear. This was all his job. My dad still plays a show every two years or so with the band, and Al still tries to negotiate the highest amount of money he can out of a concert (even though my dad and all of his bandmates have other careers now and don’t really need the money). Al is now one of the managers for Duran Duran, is on the board for like 7 companies, and is altogether really successful, but it’s not because he was the nicest person to be around, in fact it’s mostly because of the opposite. 

I absolutely love Al, but he is such an asshole sometimes, and it’s because of that trait that he was a good manager. The same goes with the Azoffs. Yes, they probably aren’t great people, most people in positions of power like that aren’t. They are good managers because of their asshole tendencies, not in spite of. 

One of the things that makes me the most frustrated in this fandom is this inherent distrust of the Azoffs off of the belief that they manipulated Harry into signing an un-beneficial contract. This idea seems to stem from the belief that Harry isn’t smart enough to realize he’s being manipulated. I can assure everyone that after 10 years of being high level in the music industry, Harry is well aware when he’s being manipulated. I’m sure that he’s aware of his position and how people will try to take advantage of him, and I’m certain that he’s hyperaware of the fact that people are going to try to manipulate him. The major difference lies in the fact that 26 year old Harry is armed with a plethora of knowledge about the inner workings of the industry and a really good legal team that looks over and negotiates every contract he signs, 16 year old harry was not. 

In conclusion, managers suck, but that’s the whole point of their job. No one is best friends with their management. So no, Jeff Azoff is not the devil and forcing Harry to stay off of social media because of image control. It’s realistic that after 10 years in the public eye he wants the keep his life private (I absolutely do not blame him). I think that it’s likely that his label is controlling him and his image a bit (again, a post for another time) but I don’t really think Jeff is forcing Harry to do anything he doesn’t want to do. Harry isn’t a naive 16 year old anymore. He has an understanding of the industry much deeper than anyone in the fandom because his is all first person.

I also think its important to note that the image we were getting of the boys while in the band was also not authentic. I think that this is something that is too often forgotten, but even at the beginning when they seemed to be given a free for all there were clear messages that each of them were tasked with delivering. I think that the perception is often that management was less controlling of their social media during one direction, and while to some extent this is true, it’s important to note that their public persona has never been a true representation of them. We do not, nor have we ever, truly known who these boys are. We only know what they are willing to publicize.

I might make more posts about things people don’t understand if there are any requests (or if I just get bored). If anyone actually is reading this I’m sorry that you had to read through all of that, but if you have any questions (which I’m sure you do, I’m really bad at explaining things) just message me and I will be happy to explain it.

EDIT: I feel like this may come across as me saying that management disputes don’t happen in the industry. They absolutely do, it’s just that it doesn't seem likely that Harry in particular is having management disputes. All of the boys (except maybe Liam, but I don’t know enough about that particular situation) seem to be okay with their management teams. Harry seems to be totally fine with Jeff, so people really need to stop saying that he is unhappy. Jeff isn’t controlling all of his actions like people seem to think

I also think it’s important to remember that Niall is still signed to Modest, and it doesn’t seem to be forced. Modest may have been terrible management for Louis and Harry (and even though i don’t know enough about their specific situations I’ll group Liam and Zayn into this category as well) but clearly they were good managers for Niall. Every single situation is different but people need to realize that management doesn’t do all of the image control, they execute a lot from the label as well (and Syco seems pretty homophobic so...)

[peekbackstage]

I for one very much appreciate the information you provide, given without rose colored lenses. It's just my opinion, but I sense that some of the people who have been combative probably haven't entered the workforce and/or Really had to look at things from a corporate, money is the bottom line, perspective that certain jobs can require. (Hell, I work in the museum industry and even we have to shape narratives, entice visitors with good PR, and persuade wealthy individuals/companies w deep pockets to support us.) Entertainment looked at in-depth as a job and business can be quite jarring a switch to turn on. More so when it's people who are the commodity.

Again, I'm very appreciative of the information you provide. I am a big fan of facts and your knowledge lends credence to and helps us flesh out or disqualify certain CP rumors. Even if you have thick skin, I'm saddened to see that you have gotten such combative anons and responses to your posts when you are really doing us all a service in educating us primarily about the east asian music industry. Many thanks 😊

Thanks for this message and for the encouragement! I’m glad the content I create is illuminating. 

I imagine that in some ways, the museum industry is actually part of the live entertainment industry, seeing as it provides live entertainment for its visitors. So, in that very well sense, there are quite a lot of similar overlaps! (Museums try to entice visitors with new exhibits, live music entices fans to come to concerts with the artist. Museums court patrons, live music court corporate sponsors.) 

Regarding the combative Anons, I’m not going to lie - I am a little disappointed that there has been quite a lot of negative Anons in my inbox the past few days; but, I can’t say I didn’t expect it. I knew that this was bound to happen. 

As I said in a previous post, I don’t feel comfortable speculating on what kind of work or life experience anyone has - that’s really not for me to make assumptions. But what I have observed is that often, people who have a hard time accepting that everything is about money/the bottom line in entertainment tend to have bright dreams and brighter ideals, especially when it comes to the artist they love the most. It’s very easy to want to believe that entertainment stakeholders might actually want to support the artist out of the goodness of their hearts or because they “believe” in them. But the reality is, no one ever does anything in the music industry for absolutely nothing in return. And unless there is financial gain to be had, people don’t ever really lift a finger. If someone does you a favor, they expect you’ll pay them back one day in kind.

If a big name tour manager is willing to take a pay cut to run a new artist’s tour it isn’t because they believe in the artist as a human being or want to help them out of some act of altruism. It’s because they want to have stake in that artist before that artist takes off, to have a cut of the pie before it’s out of the oven. It’s a financial investment. Not an act of kindness. (This example isn’t one I made up off the top of my head. This is something that actually happened about four years ago, when a big name TM took a massive pay cut and told me, verbatim: “You want to get in on the ground level before they take off, to reap the best rewards in the future.”) 

I used to manage a producer who broke a few artists whose albums sold so well, that they received diamond certification. This producer told me that when he finds artists, if he believes that the artist can become a really big hit, he will go out on a limb for them and do everything he can to get them the best possible record deal. He also will go out of his way to produce every song on their debut album to get as many points as possible on the record. He doesn’t do this because he actually wants to help the artist - he does it because there is a massive paycheck waiting for him at the end of all that sweat investment. 

Because that’s what it really is in the end - an investment. 

[today-only-happens-once]

Boy Band AU: Core 4 is LGBTQ+ (and what that whole process looks like)

Okay so long post is long but I had a Lot to Say about this. 

I’ll put it under a cut to spare anyone who isn’t interested.

Boy Band AU Taglist: @virgil-is-the-moodiest-mood, @withspaces, @iampengwing, @thecatchat, @bitchwannatryme

Coming Out to Each Other (the first time):

Logan and Roman know about the others’ identity since high school. But they never out one another to anyone else.

Roman is the first one that comes out to the band as “gay”. He does this a month or so after the whole “Virgil tries to resign” thing, now that they’re getting closer. He does it offhandedly, almost. They’re hanging out at a beach and a cute guy runs by and asks Roman for directions and when he leaves Roman’s like. “I’m so freaking gay.”

Virgil’s just like. “Same, which is how I know he’s out of your league” (teasingly) And Logan adjusts his glasses and is like “I prefer my men with a bit more sense than he did. How do you not know what ‘north’ means?” ((he was not a smart guy, just a cute one)) Meanwhile Patton, in swim trunks and a tank top sitting under the umbrella squints up at them and is like “I can’t say he was pan-dering to my tastes. [pause] Get it? Because I’m pan?”

Logan’s eye roll and Virgil’s snort makes Patton grin.

And for a while, that’s all there really is to it.

But then...

But it’s a little more complicated for Roman:

As far as anyone knows at first, Roman’s gay. He figured that out in high school, and has never questioned it too much.

Except... around the time the demos start up, Roman starts thinking more about it.

He doesn’t even really know what it is about moving to LA to record music that makes him start thinking more complexly about it. Maybe it’s because there’s a more vibrant LGBTQ+ community in LA than in his small hometown in Kansas. Or maybe its knowing he’s going to be in the public spotlight a lot more soon.

But he starts realizing that he.... doesn’t really want sex.

Like, he sees a cute guy and he still thinks “heck I’m gay” but it’s more about holding hands and kissing him and going on dates and long drives under the stars and falling asleep together without doing the do and---

Roman stops the train of thought there for a long time. He tries not to think about it.

It’s a lot more complicated for Patton:

Patton has always struggled with gender. He doesn’t really know the first time he started to feel “Not a Girl”, but he thinks maybe it started in elementary school. 

He wonders if that’s what some of the abuse stemmed from. 

He came out for the first time shortly after his dad lost custody and he moved in with his grandma. He sobbed when he told her, and sobbed harder when grandma was like “Okay. So what’s my grandson’s actual name?”

His grandma is the one who helped him get top surgery. (She was kind of loaded)

But he never breathed a word of it to any of the band members for a long while. 

Going public was a whole different ball game than coming out to one another:

Logan

Logan is actually the first one who wants decides he wants to come out publicly. 

It’s after their first national tour. Logan wants to come out because he feels like he did a lot of pretending in Kansas, and now that he’s away from that, he would like to be able to feel more honest with himself. 

But when he realizes that he wants to do this, the first person he goes to is Remy. 

Because Logan is a strategist, and he knows--he knows--that coming out publicly will have ramifications for the band on the whole. So he goes to Remy’s office and is like “I want to come out, but what kind of impact would that have on them? On the band?” 

And Remy’s honest, y’know? He’s like “Listen, Logan. It won’t all be good. The good news is that the band’s demographic is mostly teens and young adults, who are generally more open to these things. But there will be backlash. You will lose fans. You may gain others. And since you guys are an all-boy group... Well. People will ask. If you’re coming out for one of them.”

Logan’s like “I’ll be honest with them. I’m coming out for me.”

Remy kinda nods, sips his iced coffee, and looks at him over his shades. “You’ve got my support, babe. I’m just shooting straight. Even though I’m not, on most days.” 

Logan then talks about it with the band. He’s very clear that he’s not asking any of them to come out until/unless they’re ready. This is just something he wants to do. But he also lays out what he talked about with Remy.

Virgil’s just like “if we lose some homophobic fans, I say good riddance.”

Logan’s like “that’s a nice sentiment but know that it might actually impact record sales”

V is like. “did. i. stutter.”

Roman is so freaking proud of him. He’s on board 100%. Patton cracks a few puns but is definitely more than willing to back this play. 

Later that month, Logan comes out in an interview a magazine does with the band. 

Roman

Roman comes out (as gay) next. 

They lost a few fans after Logan came out, but the stronger reaction from their fanbase was one of support and they gained more fans than they lost because lgbtq+ youth kind of started looking to Lo as a “hey there’s someone like me” kind of situation

Roman decided he wanted to come out because seeing those “hey there’s someone like me” commentary from his fans reminded him of how much he would have benefitted as a kid from seeing someone like him in the public eye

He comes out during the development of their second album. They’re doing a concert in LA and he kicks it off with “you’re here, I’m queer, and we are ready to rock!” 

Patton

Patton tweeted his coming out during Pride Month. 

He tweets a pic of him grinning with the pansexual pride flag on his head and the caption “#PROUDdad”

Roman had helped him set up and take the picture. 

Virgil

Virgil comes out during a one-on-one interviewer because he’s tired and annoyed(TM)

The interviewer is like “So rumor has it that you’re dating someone. Who’s the lucky girl?”

Virgil kinda blinks at her.

And they’re like. “Is it Taylor Swift? Are you dating Ari? Or Ms. Cabello?”

Virgil leans forward and is like. “I really think Ben Platt is more my type.” but internally he’s like “I’m way too gay for this”

And the interviewer is like. “Is this you’re coming out?”

Virgil’s just like. “I guess if you didn’t already know, now you do.”

Roman Again:

After Roman realizes he’s ace, too, the band is v well established. 

He comes out publicly as ace during a concert (he’s a showman okay, all of his coming outs are during a concert)

This one is a stadium concert and they’re doing this opening where they’re each rising up from the stage floor with their back to the audience holding their pride flags and when Roman turns around, it’s the ace pride flag on the other side of the rainbow one. 

Not everyone in the public reacts well to that and it does some damage to Roman’s internalized aphobia but he’s working on it

Patton Again:

Patton coming out as trans didn’t happen until years after the band has started

He tells the band when they’ve been working together for a little over a year and a half

And he’s almost crying because he’s so afraid of their reaction

But they all meet him with love and support and reassurance

Logan asks him if he wants to go public. Patton says no, not yet. They respect that. 

But eventually.... Patton does kind of want to. 

He also talks to Remy about what kind of public reaction there might be. Remy is honest with him, too. But says that he’ll back whatever Patton wants to do, so long as he does it with both eyes open.

Patton comes out as trans during a concert. Instead of flags, they’re doing cool lighting stuff where they’ve got gradient spotlights. Logan and V’s are both rainbow, Roman’s got an ace one (since the rainbow part will already be represented on stage). Logan’s clicks on. Then Roman’s. Then Virgil’s. Then Patton’s. Except its trans flag colors for Patton.

He nearly cries when he hears the crowd start chanting his name and the sea of hand hearts that shoot into the sky. 

There’s some public backlash (some of which is downright cruel) but he never forgets that moment, and it helps on the bad days.

[alexannah]

Just Keep Digging PART THREE

Chapter One | Chapter Two | FFnet | AO3

Summary: Lila makes a big mistake when showing off one day to the class. But her mistake may turn out to be not such a bad thing for Marinette and Adrien. From a prompt by @countingdowndays

Author Notes: Okay since this is no longer a one-shot, I discovered (thanks, Keyseeker) that I need to clarify where this fic stands canonically. Most of my fics I actually ignore season three, but obviously I can’t do that entirely here since we’re post-Chameleon.

So … This fic takes place shortly after Chameleon, and obviously we’re now AU because of the reveal, but it takes into account season three up until and including Startrain. (Whether I’ll get as far as events in those episodes actually occurring, I have no idea.) However Kwami Buster onwards is NOT taken into account. So no worries about our heroes having to give up their Miraculouses, or future Hawk Moth, or any Cat Blanc stuff. None of that exists here!

And for the record, I’m a fan of Gabriel and Nathalie and a supporter of the redemption arc. Whether this fic will go there or not, I don’t know. Still improvising here!

Just Keep Digging

By Alexannah

Chapter Three: Just Keep Intimidating

“Do you have any idea how lonely Adrien gets, Mr Agreste?” Marinette blurted out.

Gabriel Agreste blinked at the abrupt change of subject. “I’m sorry?”

“You’d better be. He spends most of his time shut up in this house, not allowed to leave except for school and classes. I get that you want to protect him, but all too often you cross the line between keeping him safe and keeping him a prisoner. He hardly ever complains because he’s used to it, it’s his norm; but that doesn’t mean it’s right or best for him. People need social interaction, sir. He hates being so isolated; you may not mean to, but you hurt him so much by doing that to him.”

“He told you this?”

“He doesn’t have to. We can all see it a mile off. Which makes me wonder why you can’t.” Marinette paused. “No, actually I know why you can’t. Because while you keep him physically close, you keep him emotionally distant. You don’t give him any quality time, or make him feel like he can approach you. I understand that you’re a busy man, but surely you can spare some time to spend with him, instead of always palming him off on your staff. It would make him feel so much better to at least know you’re trying. Instead there’s this massive wall between you and it’s growing bigger every day. And wrapping him in cotton wool isn’t the answer. You know what happens to people when they’re wrapped in too much cotton wool, Mr Agreste? They suffocate.”

There was a long, long silence once she finally stopped talking, wondering if she had completely blown it. Mr Agreste was still staring at her, no recognisable reaction on his face except extreme surprise.

Finally he broke eye contact, removing his glasses and polishing them. “I see you care deeply for my son,” he finally said, quite quietly.

“Yes, I do.”

“Hmm. Most of his fans desire him because he’s handsome and famous.” He replaced his glasses and looked back at Marinette. “But not you.”

“I’d love him just as much if no-one had heard of him and he had a face like a gorilla’s butt.”

Mr Agreste’s mouth twitched. “So I assume your intentions towards him are of the … more long-term variety.”

“The forever kind of long-term,” she agreed. “The ‘till death do us part’ kind of long-term.” For a moment she thought something weird flickered in Mr Agreste’s eyes at the ‘death do us part’ bit, but a second later she was sure she had imagined it. “The ‘married with three kids and a hamster’ kind of long term.”

“I see. And what do you imagine Adrien would be doing, other than helping you look after three kids and a hamster?”

“Whatever makes him happy. Whether that’s modelling, or his music, or tap dancing in the street.” Marinette tried not to giggle as she remembered him actually doing that as Cat Noir. “I’m sure you have your own grand ideas about what Adrien should do with his life, sir, but he’s his own person who deserves to make his own decisions. Even if you think they’re the wrong ones. Maybe I don’t meet your high standards; maybe none of his friends do. But we all love Adrien and want what’s best for him.”

Silence fell for a long moment as he gazed at her thoughtfully. “Tell me, does Adrien share your very specific vision of your future?”

“Well, I don’t know if he wants the same number of kids and a hamster, but I know he wants to spent the future with me. We should probably work out the details after we’ve been a couple for more than a few hours.”

Again, Mr Agreste’s mouth twitched, and Marinette dared wonder if he was actually amused by her words. Whether or not that was a good thing, however, remained to be seen.

“I will allow your relationship with Adrien,” he said finally. “But I have conditions.”

“So do I,” Marinette said before she knew what she was saying.

His eyes widened. “I beg your pardon?”

“I already told you, Mr Agreste, that there are areas of your relationship with Adrien—well, the whole thing, really—that you need to work on.” Marinette folded her arms decisively. “So if you really want him to be happy, then I expect you to be willing to do so.”

She received a speechless gape in return.

“I expect you to choose presents for Adrien yourself and put thought and care into them. I expect you to make it up to him whenever your work gets in the way of spending time with him. I expect you to find time to actually tell him you love him, because to my knowledge he’s never heard that from you. I expect you to consider Adrien’s feelings and consult with him when making decisions for his protection or whatever, and if necessary reach a compromise you’re both happy with. I expect you to be more open to suggestions from other people who care about him on what’s best for him and what he needs to be emotionally healthy. I expect you to try, Mr Agreste. I expect you to want to be a better parent and be willing to learn.”

It was impossible to work out what he was thinking, but for some reason she couldn’t explain, she thought her words might actually be getting through to him.

“And this isn’t just about Adrien,” Marinette continued boldly. “Assuming that our future progresses as we both hope it does, then one day I guess I’ll be your daughter-in-law.” The expression on his face was suddenly beyond laughable. “And I may as well make this clear now so there are no surprises in the future, so you can’t possibly have any reason to withdraw your approval of us later on.”

“I’m listening.”

“I expect you to learn not to be such a control freak, so that when he’s an adult, you don’t make him feel like he has to do everything you want him to rather than what he wants, in order to keep you happy; because that’s not healthy—it’s not healthy now—and you can’t regulate his life decisions forever. I expect by the time he and I are married for you to have let go and let him have his own life. Assuming you take on board everything I’ve said, I’m hopeful the two of you will have a much better relationship by then than you have now; and if, as I think, you really do love him, then I can’t see any reason why you wouldn’t want that.”

“I do love him,” Mr Agreste said quietly.

“Good. So we’re in agreement.”

He still looked a bit stunned, but didn’t disagree.

“I haven’t finished,” Marinette continued. “Our future children.” He raised his eyebrows. “I don’t expect you to be perfect, but I expect you to make an effort. I expect you to actually have a relationship with them, not be this distant figure they hardly ever see and barely know. You will respect that Adrien and I are their parents, and therefore our decisions are the ones that go; and while we’ll be open to advice, at the end of the day we’ll be the ones making the decisions we feel are best for them. You will do your very best to be present at every single special occasion; and I won’t accept any excuses, only the most valid, out-of-your-control reasons. Every Christmas and birthday, every school play and concert, every fencing meet or whatever interests they end up pursuing, regardless of whether they meet your approval or not. You have been absent from the important things in Adrien’s life for way too long and I won’t stand for you treating your grandchildren the same way. I want them to have a grandfather they can actually have a good relationship with, someone they will love and look forward to spending time with. And I know Adrien would want that too.”

Once again, the room was dead silent once she had finished.

“So what were your conditions, Mr Agreste?” Marinette asked, almost sweetly.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Er …”

~*~

In the next room, Adrien was trying desperately to resist the temptation to listen at the door. His father and Marinette’s voices were muffled, so he couldn’t work out what they were saying, but they sounded quite heated.

If he were alone, he probably would have listened, but Nathalie was there. While he wasn’t entirely sure she would stop him, he didn’t want her to mention to Gabriel later that he had overheard whatever was going on in there.

“Thanks for letting me tell him myself,” he said finally to break the awkward silence.

Nathalie nodded. “Do you love her, Adrien?”

“Completely and utterly,” he said with no hesitation. He thought about adding “I’d die for her,” but stopped himself just in time, thinking that might not have the right effect.

Her expression softened. “I very much hope she can win your father over.”

“So do I. She’s so wonderful; and if anyone can, she can; but … Father’s so stubborn.”

“He is,” Nathalie agreed. “And overprotective. But he does have a heart, Adrien.”

“He has a funny way of showing it sometimes,” Adrien muttered.

Nathalie sighed. “I know.”

There was an awkward pause.

“So … how did the two of you …?”

Adrien hesitated, quickly sorting through the memories and censoring the superhero identity stuff in favour of a simpler version of the story. Marinette coming to comfort him after what Lila had said, and him realising she felt the same way about him than he did her … yes, that would do.

“Well, it started with us all talking about our favourite movies …”

~*~

Marinette opened the door, and saw Adrien sitting talking with Nathalie, who looked quite angry for some reason. She quickly schooled her expression to be more neutral as she saw her, and stood up. “How did it go?”

“Er … well, he’s happy for us to date.”

Adrien beamed. “He is? Yes! I knew you could win him over, Marinette!”

“You sound quite relieved nevertheless,” she teased, drawing up to him.

“Well … maybe I was a bit worried,” Adrien admitted. “That’s not a reflection on you at all, though.”

“I know. Anyway, it’s all okay. Though he has set some conditions.”

Adrien frowned. “Conditions?”

“Nothing bad. Just, you know, sticking to curfew, bodyguard, stuff like that.”

“That was an awfully long conversation for just going over ground rules,” Nathalie said, in a tone which made Marinette sure she suspected a lot more had been discussed.

“Other subjects may have come up,” she said vaguely.

“Oh? Like what?” Adrien asked.

“Well … er … your dad’s lousy parenting …”

“What?” he gasped, and Nathalie choked.

“You’re the one who told me to be honest!” Marinette said to her.

“Sheesh, Marinette, what did you say to him?”

“Basically, everything I and the rest of your friends have wanted to say to him for the last few months.”

Adrien groaned. “I can hardly believe you’re still breathing! Let alone that he actually approved us dating?”

“Apparently I proved to him that I’m not after you because you’re a famous model.” She kissed his cheek, and he blushed. Aw, she would never get used to that. “And on a completely unrelated note, he’s made a resolution to have dinner with you at least four times a week, let you attend at least one social thing a week (three in the holidays), and he’s coming to see you in the school talent show next Friday.”

And when you turn fifteen, you’re getting a surprise birthday party, she silently added.

Nathalie raised her eyebrows. “Goodness,” she said, sounding very impressed.

“Wow,” Adrien said, sounding just as much so. “Marinette, you do realise that apart from my mom, you and Nathalie are the only two people who have ever been able to get my father to change his mind about something like that?”

“Um … no, I didn’t.” Marinette looked at Nathalie. “Thanks for the tip.”

“You’re welcome. Oh, Adrien, here’s your phone back.” She handed him his phone, then looked between them. “Is Marinette staying for a while, or do you two have other plans?”

“Er, I think it might be a good idea to give Mr Agreste some space from me for the rest of the day.”

“And we do have other plans,” Adrien agreed, taking her hand. “I promised her ice cream at Andre’s.”

“Ice cream?” Nathalie glanced out of the window. “Are you sure? It looks like it’s going to start storming again soon.”

“Oh,” Adrien said, sounding disappointed.

“We could go to my house instead,” Marinette suggested. “Only fair you get to meet my parents now.”

“They’re not going to interrogate me, are they?”

“Not like that. My dad is a very different kind of intimidating.”

Adrien raised his eyebrows. “Er, what kind of intimidating?”

“You’ll see.”

Someone cleared their throat in the doorway, and they all looked over to see Mr Agreste had appeared. “Nathalie, could I have a word?”

Marinette gulped, wondering if this was about Adrien’s birthday present.

“I wonder what that’s about,” Adrien said, frowning slightly after Nathalie had followed her boss from the room.

“Er …” She cast her mind around quickly for a change of subject. “Yeah, um … there’s someone else we need to talk to. Master Fu,” she said in a low voice.

Adrien paused. “Oh. Right. We know our secret identities now … Do you think he’ll be upset?”

“I don’t know, but whatever his reaction, we shouldn’t put it off.” Marinette took out her phone and selected the turtle icon in her contacts.

~*~

“I hear congratulations are in order,” Nathalie said after closing the door behind her.

“They’re dating, not engaged,” Gabriel said quickly, though he couldn’t help silently adding yet. He shook himself and remembered what he had actually intended to talk to her about.

“I think you made the right decision, sir. Marinette seems a sweet girl. And Adrien is clearly absolutely smitten with her.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it goes both ways. She was very …” Gabriel paused, searching for the right word. “… specific about her feelings for him.”

“Really?”

He knew from her tone that it was not actually a surprise, and wondered what she had said to Marinette before the meeting. “Yes. Very bluntly honest.”

That was putting it mildly. Marinette Dupain-Cheng had let him have it with both barrels. Gabriel thought the last time he had been that intimidated by a teenager, he had been the same age himself. Fortunately he didn’t think he had let it show.

“I see. Good for her.”

“Yes.” He paused. “The thing is, she did bring up something which I should ask you about.”

“Oh?”

“I understand that the present she intended to give to Adrien for his birthday, was somehow mistaken for being from me.” He arched an eyebrow at Nathalie, whose eyes widened.

“Oh. Er … d-did she tell Adrien?”

“No. And she stated she has no plans to do so. Apparently he was delighted to think it was from me, and she doesn’t want to disappoint him.” Gabriel fixed his assistant with a sharp frown. “I don’t suppose you could shed any light on how this misunderstanding occurred, Nathalie?”

She sighed. “On Adrien’s birthday, Marinette dropped off a gift for him, shortly before you … asked if I had got him a present from you. I … didn’t remember you having asked me to before, and … I panicked.”

“You told Adrien that Marinette’s scarf was from me.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Why did you not simply go out and get him something?”

Nathalie fixed Gabriel with a surprisingly hard look. “Because that would have required leaving Adrien to eat lunch alone on his birthday, Mr Agreste. Which I didn’t want to do. Nor did I want to have to tell him that his father had either not got him a present, or asked me to and that I had forgotten. I knew any of the above would hurt him.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “And as it happened, because of the Bubbler, he had lunch alone on his birthday anyway.”

The accusation was impossible to miss, and a long, very tense silence fell between them.

“I … will not akumatize anyone on Adrien’s birthday again,” Gabriel finally relented.

“Especially not friends of his who only wanted to do something kind for him,” Nathalie added.

“Er … yes. I mean … no, I won’t.”

Her expression softened slightly. “Marinette really got through to you, didn’t she?”

“You put her up to that, didn’t you?”

“All I did was advise her to be honest. The rest was all her.”

“Well, it worked,” Gabriel admitted. “There are some … changes I need to make.”

Nathalie nodded slowly, frowning again. “Talking of honesty … did you by any chance sense any negative emotions from Lila Rossi earlier today?”

Gabriel blinked, completely taken aback. “Yes, actually. She’s been very emotional for most of the day, but you know I’ve been tied up with work I couldn’t delegate. It’s been quite frustrating having to wait; I was planning to seize the opportunity once Marinette had left. How did you know?”

“Adrien told me about something that happened this morning between the two of them. And … well, you’re not going to like it …”

~*~

Lila checked her text again.

We need to talk.

She didn’t know why she had come to the meeting place Adrien had specified. What more did he want to say? Adrien was the forgiving type, but she was certain this was beyond even him.

One little miscalculation, and everything had been ruined. Usually Lila planned her stories with care, but from time to time had simply grabbed an opportunity. And now she’d had the horrible misfortune of picking the wrong person to lie about.

How the hell was I supposed to know she was his mom???

If she transferred to a new school (Lila was already formulating an argument to present to her mother why it was necessary), then she would be more careful. At the very least do an internet search before opening her mouth.

She turned as she heard the car pull up behind her. The back window rolled down, and her eyes widened in surprise as it revealed not Adrien, but his father.

“Get in, Miss Rossi,” Gabriel Agreste said shortly.

She did, hesitating as she realised he was alone in the back. “Where’s Adrien?”

“He did not send you that text. You are not the only one with the ability to deceive.”

A cold chill went down her spine as the car pulled off, and Lila was suddenly very aware of the fact that no-one knew where she was.

“S-sir? What do you want?”

He didn’t look at her, face set in grim determination as he stared straight ahead. “Adrien told Nathalie what you said about his mother.”

Lila had guessed he’d found out, but still felt the blood drain from her face. “Sir, I swear, I never meant—I had no idea he was talking about his mom!”

“That is not the point. Your story could have severely hurt him, and the only reason it didn’t was because he believes something tragic happened to her.” He suddenly fixed Lila with a glare so fierce, she wished he was still looking straight ahead. “I wanted to tell you personally that if you ever do or say anything that could hurt Adrien again, regardless of whether or not you meant it to, you will severely regret it.”

Lila waited for the car to stop, but it didn’t. She glanced at the driver. It wasn’t Adrien’s bodyguard as usual; it was the aforementioned secretary. For some reason this felt foreboding.

“Um … wh-where are we going?”

He did not answer her question. “Miss Rossi, your relationship, in any sense, with my son is over. You are not to go near him again. You are not to talk about him or to him, and the same goes for his friends, because when they are hurt so is he. You are toxic and I will not have your poison harming my family.”

“I understand, Mr Agreste.”

“I’m not sure you do. You have been akumatized … how many times?”

“Er …” Lila said, taken aback at the question.

“Four, as I understand it. And you have a deep hatred of Ladybug which has made you valuable to Hawk Moth.”

“I’m not sure I understand—Wait, how do you know?”

“I am very well informed, Miss Rossi. Especially about the people around my son. I want to make one thing absolutely clear. Should you be akumatized again, no matter what Hawk Moth wants of you, Adrien and his friends are off limits. You cannot use that as an excuse with me.” His eyes sent icy daggers of fear through her. “You will find I can be a much more dangerous enemy than Hawk Moth.”

Before she could register the movement, his hand had crept around her throat and started to squeeze.

Lila choked, struggling to draw breath, and grasped weakly at his strong fingers, trying to pull them off. They were immovable. He wasn’t blocking her airways, but it hurt. She saw Nathalie glance in the mirror but merely look away, showing no sign of mercy.

Mr Agreste finally let go. “Is that absolutely clear?”

“Y-yes, s-sir,” Lila gasped, massaging her throat.

“Now you are going to get out, and you are going to tell your parents about every single lie you have told. If I find you have missed any out, I will tell them myself.”

They stopped, and Lila saw they were outside her home. She had never been so relieved to be able to get out of a car. She would take being grounded for the rest of her life over spending one more second in that man’s company.

“This is your only warning,” Gabriel Agreste said darkly, before closing the door again. The car pulled away.

Lila braced herself, and approached her front door.

~*~

“Don’t dawdle on the way home,” Gabriel said to Nathalie, settling back in his seat, satisfied and in anticipation. “I will not miss this opportunity.”

“Of course, Mr Agreste.”

He could already feel Lila’s anger and frustration, but once her parents found out everything, it was bound to increase. Her next akumatization would be her most powerful form yet.

“Do you think she’s afraid enough to leave Adrien alone?” Nathalie asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. “She might have thought you were bluffing.”

“She didn’t. I can tell.” Gabriel looked back at his assistant. “Do you think it was too big a risk?”

“As long as you left no visible mark on her—”

“I didn’t.” He had been very careful not to.

“—and she’s convinced that you really would hurt her if she hurt Adrien again—”

“Which I will. And she is.”

“—then no. Even if she tries to tell someone you attacked her, no-one is going to believe her now.”

Gabriel nodded. That had been the plan. His Miraculous glowed as Lila’s emotions suddenly spiked. “Faster, Nathalie. I mean … Catalyst.”

To Be Continued …

Author’s Note: Thanks to phantombullets240 for your idea; it’s what turned this into a multi-chapter fic.

I initially drafted the penultimate scene with Gabriel ending his deal with Lila, then remembered it hadn’t happened yet in canon. Which is a shame because it would have been so much more tense. But I’m happy with the rewrite.

Part of the scene between Marinette and Gabriel was inspired by a conversation from Monster In Law, but it’s been years since I’ve seen the film so I’m not sure how close it is to the original.

I have a plan for the next chapter, but action isn’t my strong point, so it might take a little longer than the others to write!

[otonymous]

Your Gavin NSFW HCs!! So good so good so good! The game hasn't been out long but all of these boys are already near and dear to my heart. I wreck myself thinking of your HCs for the other three if you wrote them 💦 For now, may I humbly request some NSFW HCs of my (potentially/somewhat) shady sunshine Kiro if you're willing to bless us with trying him out? No worries if you're not taking requests/busy! Just slid in to let know your Gavin HCs lit some fires 🔥🔥

Hello awesome Anon! 💕

Thank you so much for your lovely comments and your incredibly polite ask! 😍 It totally brought a huge smile to my face to know that you enjoyed my Gavin NSFW HCs!  Sorry for the long wait in answering your Ask - I hope you’re cool with Kiro’s NSFW ABCs!  Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy them 😉

Warning: NSFW/18+: Explicit/graphic language - reader discretion is advised.  TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of smothering & breath play (can be incredibly dangerous - please take a moment to read up on it if you’re curious and practice safe sex in more ways than one!!)

The ABCs of Kiro (MLQC Headcanon - NSFW)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

This sweetheart has already raided the convenience stores beforehand for your favourite snacks and will lay them before you while you’re still wrapped up in his sheets

Enjoy feeding each other Pocky and chips, laughing and getting to know one another in your post-coital bliss

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your ears: loves to nibble and suck on the lobes, run his tongue over the shell of your ears, softly serenade you with the sweetest love songs just to watch the tips grow red

Kiro is particularly fond of his lips: he loves licking the salt of potato chips off them, loves using them to feel the heat of your skin as he peppers your body with kisses, absolutely adores it when you come undone from his mouth alone

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

Kiro loves to come in you, but he also loves pulling out to lay the head of his cock on your trembling folds just watch his cum paint your pussy; reach a hand down to gingerly smear it all around and Kiro is insta-hard again

He also loves to take you from behind so he can cum on your ass and watch it drip down the curves of your cheeks and onto your thighs

Kiro has a hard time keeping control when you look up to meet his eyes as your tongue peeks out to taste that drop of pre-cum on the head of his cock

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He may or may not have a couple pairs of your clean underwear that he buries his face in while he’s jerking off, thinking of you

They definitely come in handy with his crazy busy schedule and all the traveling he does for work (see “Jack Off” below)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Kiro is quite experienced (especially when it comes to certain kinks)

Prior to meeting the love of his life (i.e. YOU) he has engaged in meaningless sex here and there with some groupies, some members of edgy underground organizations (one of whom introduced him to his kink - see below, under K)

F = Favourite Position

Hands down, 69 is Kiro’s favourite position because he likes to give and receive at the same time

The superstar will keep pulling down on your hips and thighs, trying to get you to rest more of your weight onto his face (see Kink below)

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

There can be a lot of jokes and laughter leading up to the moment, but you can bet that once Kiro gets down to business, he’s never been more serious about anything in his life

Boy can be INTENSE and seriously driven to give you as much pleasure as possible

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Like Victor, Kiro is completely bare (in case the superstar has any wardrobe malfunctions on stage)

But if you MUST know, Kiro is a natural blond

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Kiro is a romantic at heart: he firmly believes in love at first sight, the red thread of fate and the concept of soulmates

From the very moment he laid eyes on you, he knew you were the one and hasn’t looked at anyone else since (and never will)

Even still, he cannot help but feel insecure at times, hating himself whenever he questions whether or not his Evol had any influence on your feelings for him

Hence, sex with Kiro often takes on an incredibly intimate tone and can be more properly referred to as lovemaking: his cerulean eyes will be searching yours as he buries himself deeply inside you, laying his soul bare with every tender word he whispers in your ear, each burning press of his body against yours — he’s expressing the depths of his love and seeking confirmation that you love him as Kiro the man, not Kiro the superstar with his overwhelming charm

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Kiro masturbates quite frequently, close to daily, depending on how tired/busy he is — he finds it hard not to, since you’re never far from his mind

His insane work schedule unfortunately translates into a lot of time away from you, so he often has to rely on himself to release his pent-up energy

Also expect to engage in some mutual masturbation over FaceTime

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Kiro has an oral fixation and lives for you to sit on his face

He’s even cool if there’s a bit of smothering - VERY MILD breath play is something he’s into

He won’t do it to you unless you request it yourself, Miss Chips! (you can bet safe words/gestures will be in full effect)

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere he can get you alone: with his jam-packed schedule, Kiro has to take advantage of every hour, every minute, every second he has with you

You guys have gotten busy in a variety of places: in his dressing room, a variety of broom closets, hidden behind clothing racks backstage, inside a parked van with tinted windows, in bathroom stalls, on a deserted beach in the middle of the night, etc. — anything goes

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

While Kiro loves everything about you, he especially loves the sound of your voice, and finds it absolutely irresistible when you sing a song he penned himself (he’d wonder whether his Evol rubbed off on you)

The man melts to hear you moan with pleasure, so feel free to be as loud as possible whenever you have the luxury to do so

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

I’m just gonna keep it real here: none of the MLQC boys share.  NONE.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

This boy likes giving and receiving equally (see Favourite Position above)

Very skilled at eating you out and can happily do so for HOURS (this superstar has had lots of vocal training, including tongue stretches 😉)

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

If time isn’t an issue, Kiro tends towards slow and sensual because he wants so badly to prolong the moment of physical and emotional intimacy with you

When you’re indulging in a quickie though, the man can snap his hips as fast as a jackhammer and with almost as much force

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

While Kiro doesn’t view quickies as ideal, it’s much better than nothing and beggars won’t be choosers

It’s pretty much guaranteed that sex is gonna happen anytime you and Kiro get the chance to meet up in person

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Kiro is totally game when it comes to experimenting (except no additional partners!)

His kink game is strong to begin with: anything you mention he’s likely already tried, so feel free to ask him anything

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

With all the recording/filming/concerts/TV appearances/promotions, etc., Kiro has even longer work days than Victor.  You best believe he has the stamina to keep up

He’s also a younger guy and is super fit from rehearsing dance routines all the time, along with his usual sessions at the gym (he’s gotta work off all that junk food after all)

So, if given the time and opportunity, Kiro can go many rounds and doesn’t require much recovery time in between

But don’t worry, the boy’s EQ is so high he would never push you past your comfort level; you wouldn’t even need to say anything and he can read you like an open book

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Kiro doesn’t have any toys for his own use, but as mentioned in Dirty Secret above, he does keep a pair of your panties around to assist him in fantasizing about you when he’s stroking himself

The superstar does have a collection of costumes from movies/dramas he’s filmed in the past and took a particular liking to.  Feel free to peruse and let him know which one you want him to wear 😉

LOVES using toys on you, and is quite open to you using toys on him 

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Kiro likes to tease his lady when she loses at video games, not when she’s in the bedroom (unless you explicitly ask for it)

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Kiro, the singer, can get incredibly loud during the act when he doesn’t have to be discrete

His moans and groans are made 100000000x more irresistible by his beautifully sensual voice

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

You’ve inspired every love song he’s written since meeting you

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Kiro has a nice cock, average girth and slightly above-average in length

He is cut and curves very slightly to the right

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Kiro had a high sex drive to begin with, but it has shot through the roof since meeting you

His mind can’t help but drift to more sensual matters whenever he sees you or even thinks of you 

Much of this is tied to the strength of his feelings for you; oftentimes he finds that words just aren’t enough to express how much he loves and desires you so he tries to show you with both his words and actions

The man does try to suppress his thirst, as he doesn’t want to scare you off

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Kiro tends to pass out immediately after sex, but only for 5-10 minutes before he’s completely energized again and ready to go, as if he took a power nap

If you’re up for another round, so is he!  But if you’ve had enough, Kiro will break out the post-coital snacks (see Aftercare above) and maybe toss you a gaming console controller, smirking as he climbs back under the sheets with you

——————————————————————————————-

Thanks so much for reading!  Check out more of my work here! 📚

[mendesstories]

From the Ground Up

A/N: This idea came to me when I first heard the song ‘From The Ground Up’ by Dan + Shay a few months ago and this has been sitting around in my drafts ever since. I never liked how it kept turning out and I’m still not a 100% proud but here goes nothing. Tell me what you think!!

Taglist: @mendesficsxbombay @particularnervous (if you’d like to be added or removed let me know)

March 2016

“So...it’s time, eh?” He sighs looking at her. 

She glumly nods, her eyes roaming everywhere but refusing to meet his. Her mouth opens to say something but her throat runs dry and suddenly words seem hard to find. Truthfully, she’s not sure what to say to the boy she loves when he’s about to leave for what, she prays for his sake, is the first of many of his own world tours. 

She steps towards him, takes a deep breath and attempts to gather her resolve for him.  

“I’m only nervous because I don’t know how things will work out ahead.” 

“But I’ll call ever-”

“No wait let me finish, I want you to know that this-” she gulps and her fingers fidget with the frill of her top, “-this is big and it’s going to change your life. I’m so so proud and happy that you get to do this because, my dude, you deserve to live your dream more than anyone else I know. And, even if all the distance and time changes us, I won’t hate you ever, you’ll always be my best friend first.”

He wants to tell her that her fears are irrational. They are them, they’ll get through it all together but he’s not sure he can actually convince her this time. If he’s being honest he’s terrified she’s going to be right like always, that’ll he’ll get caught up in the glitz and glamour of it all and lose her. 

He moves towards her tentatively, hands snaking around her waist and she melts into his embrace. Her head rests on his chest, her shoulders shuddering and for a split second, he blames himself for choosing to do what he loves and hurting the ones he loves in the process. 

For a fraction of a millisecond, he has this feeling although nothing might ever be the same in his life again, that somehow the two of them will pull through it. That little glimmer is enough for him. Now, it’s his turn to take a deep breath and garner some strength for her sake. 

He whispers softly, “Believe me, baby. We’ll be alright.”

Her dad watches them wearily from the side. He knows Shawn is a bright young boy with big dreams filling up his mind and only the best intentions at heart but he cannot help his fatherly inhibitions from clouding his thoughts. 

He wonders how right Shawn is in choosing to make this his career and not going to college. He isn’t sure if they truly understand how the dynamic of their relationship is about to alter, both of them ambitious but heading down starkly different paths. He worries the scrutiny and attention that is bound to come, will wear out even his strong-willed little girl. 

August 2019

Post-concert Shawn is always on an adrenaline high. Tonight, however, was truly special. He’s played the biggest show of his life. A sold-out stadium in his home city. The same place he would pass by numerous times as a child with his gaze fixated and eyes wide unable to wrap his mind around big it is. 

Certainly, he never imagined that one-day a deafening crowd would sing the words he wrote in his journals back to him when his slacked jaw and welled up eyes leave it hard for him to swallow and finish the words.

She’s out there in the deafening crowd with her hair flying in every which direction with his sister singing along to every song just like everyone else in the audience. His biggest (and possibly favourite) supporter since day one. 

He gets off stage a jittery mess with his heart still pounding fast against his chest and the whole room is electrified with his entrance. He hands his guitar to Cez and is pulled in for a hug.

There are bottles clinking, friends and family making rounds hugging him and each other. There’s enough energy in the room to spark up the CN tower standing tall behind them. 

The past five years of his life and career have gone by in the blink of an eye. She was right when she predicted everything would change but  the one thing that’s stayed constant is that he wouldn’t want to do any of this without her by his side, be it having to clean up the beer bottles and leftover pizza after Brian’s roaring 21st or playing a twice as roaring Rogers Stadium. 

So, smile a mile wide and hands still clammy he makes his way towards her. He picks her up giving her a quick twirl and she lets out a little laugh. It’s enough to ignite his burning heart further. 

He puts her down and she pulls him in closer for the tightest and warmest hug ever. Her blanket of love, happiness and pride envelops him. 

He did it 

Something lights up in her holding him so close in her arms. A glimmer, like the one he had in the airport all those years ago, tells her as long as they are hand in hand giving life their all, they’ll have many more moments like this one.  

September 2019

He’s seated in the crowded auditorium between her parents and little brother, adjusting his dress shirt and formal slacks waiting for the graduation to start. 

He recalls that one late night during the Europe leg of the tour when he woke up to fetch some water and realised she wasn’t in his arms. He found her with her shoulders bent over her textbooks and laptop, reading and rereading the words attempting to make sense of the page. She rubbed her eyes and willed herself to stay awake. 

5 more minutes she convinced herself every five minutes

His heart plummeted looking at her haggard appearance knowing he was partly responsible for it. He never asked her, he never had to, she magically always knew. She could tell sense his anxiety building up. The initial buzz of being on tour fading away. He wanted to come home, tease his sister and press kisses to his mother’s cheek. 

She would give him the world if he so asked and if there was anything she could do to keep his heart even slightly happier, she would. So without much hesitation, she makes a few adjustments in her budget for the rest of the month and flies out to him. 

The glint in his bright eyes and his warm laugh reverberating through her eardrums when she surprised him made it all worth it. 

Standing in the dim light of the tour bus it occurred to him how selfish and unfair he was to be so caught up buzzing around in excitement of her arrival to see how all that she does for him takes a toll on her as well.  

He knows she’s going to compensate for this trip by working a few extra and long shifts around her classes. Her classes are a whole other story. They are far from easy and he has come to understand computer science is an incredibly time consuming and draining major despite her being passionate about the subject. 

Recording albums, selling out stadiums, and writing heart-wrenching, gut-twisting songs was never her dream but she believed in his nevertheless. While chasing her own dream, she’s continued to support his.

Decidedly he wipes the sleep away from his tired eyes. He makes up his mind that he’s going to help her study even if that meant simply keeping her company. 

“What? Why are you awake?” She asks him breaking out of her trance as he settles into the space beside her. 

“Here, please take care of yourself, honey.” He mumbled into the dark placing a cold glass of water and some fruit in front of her. 

Andrew may have found them the next morning all cuddled up, soft snores leaving their exhausted bodies, but they had successfully finished her linear algebra 1 work. 

His face breaks into the biggest grin when they announce her name. Hands clapping as loudly as possible while she walks up on stage beaming with pride and standing tall in all her 5 feet 5 glory. Her dad even whistles a few times. He can only imagine how proud her parents are of their daughter. 

She did it

His chest constricts with a bubbling feeling and he isn’t quite sure what it is. Perhaps it’s pride but something tells him it’s just the all-consuming love he has for her and all of her.

4 years later

The second she is pushed out the room is engulfed in an overwhelming torrent of emotion.

She’s beautiful

It’s his first thought. Certainly, she’s covered in baby gunk but she’s still beautiful. 

The silence in the room for the first few seconds seemed piercing. Is she alright? She’s supposed to cry, right? Why isn’t she crying? Then it’s replaced by her faint little cry which grows louder and louder until it has turned into an all-out no holds scream. She’s loud but he doesn’t mind in the slightest. She’s safe. His wife is safe. His own family is here safe and sound.

“We have to clean her up first.” The nurse declares gently picking her up from her mother’s chest where they placed her for barely a minute. 

He doesn’t want to let her out of his sight. So, he drops his head and presses a kiss to his wife’s forehead, whispers an ‘I love you’ and speeds off after the nurse.

Not so much to one’s surprise she cries and shrieks as they take a prick of her blood and check her vitals. It takes everything in him to not pick her up and coo into her little ears that he’s right here and as long as he’s round he won’t let anything bad happen to her.

“Hi angel, I love you.” He bends down and mumbles as the nurse runs a washcloth across her tummy.

He never imagined those five words would alter his life and perspective forever. Her cries seem to subside and he knows that newborns have little to no muscle power and she can’t really see but he swears she looks at him and calms down. 

4 years later 

Estela Mendes is nearly four now. She has more fun each day than should be legally allowed. She struggles with sharing toys and her parents’ undivided attention with her toddler brother (her parents promise you they are working on this), while her curiosity about the baby in her mama’s belly grows each day.

4 years and 7 months later 

Gotta support the neck Gotta support the neck

The thought has been drilled into his head by his parents over the past few months. While his fans may have said countless things about his large hands, some of their words managing to leave him haunted, he never really noticed how large his hands actually were until now. She seems so little and fragile in his arms compared to the first two now notorious Mendes siblings. 

It’s safe to say the youngest Mendes daughter wasn’t planned yet somehow she came at the perfect time.

The two of them had spent a fair number of nights with goosebumps rising on their skin in the Toronto breeze, after putting their kids to bed, (god, how do they sound so old?) huddled shoulder to shoulder as she indulged in her choice of cravings for the night (it was a jar of pickles more often than not) dreaming of what the baby girl growing inside would be like.

Now, she’s here and he’s enamored with her very existence. He can’t keep his eyes off her. If it was all up to him he’d sit there for hours on an end memorizing every little detail of her being and watch her attempt to clasp her small figures around his large ones. 

His wife rests her head on his shoulders, exhaustion rimming her eyelids with her matted hair against her forehead. She moves her hand that is free of the IV needles and tubes to bring the two older children, smitten with the latest addition to the family, closer into her lap. 

Everything he’s ever wanted - needed really - is right here in his arms. He feels complete. 

7 years later 

The youngest Mendes child is clutched to her waist, hands moving animatedly describing plans she has with her siblings for the rest of the day, as the pair of them make their way out to the rest of the family in their backyard. 

His wife’s heart grows in size finding both sets of grandparents recollecting stories while Shawn teaches his two older children how to strum a certain chord on his guitar. 

The mess of curls - that is her son - seated on Shawn’s lap has a glint of mischief lacing his eyes trying to think of ways to add his touch of fun to the relatively calm backyard. 

She puts her daughter down who wobbles across the grass to where her dad and siblings are seated.

Now, all four of them are playing some game. He somehow manages to lift all three of them into the air, makes the sound of a bear growling, places them back onto the grass gently and tickles them until they’re all in fits of laughter. 

The delirious belly laughs they let out at his antics have him grinning ear to ear. The simplicity of the moment overwhelms him. This is all he could ever dream of having and more. A family of his own, people that are his own and people with whom he can cherish the wild rollercoaster of moments his life has been and continues to be.

All those inhibitions her dad had at the airport years ago no longer hold true. He’s watched Shawn grow into being the incredible partner and father that he is today. 

He’s the man her dad hoped he would be. 

65 years later 

The morning sun streaming in uninvited kisses them awake. He opens his eyes to the slivers of light peeping in through the gaps in the blinds casting thin stripes across her tan and angelic skin. 

She blinks multiple times adjusting to the sudden light drowsily, mouth curving into a lopsided grin as he pulls her closer into his embrace. 

65 years old now, in this little house that they made home when they stepped foot into young, first child on the way, eyes dancing with excitement for the future. 

The pictures that adorn every nook and corner of this warm and humble abode are a testament to their tale. The clouds may have rolled and the earth may have shook but they sheltered each other through the wind and the rain. 

They did it

[akindoftarot]

ATTENTION QUEEN FANDOM ARTISTS

I’m organising a fandom wide collaborative art project - creating a Queen themed tarot deck! I’ve organised general ideas of what each card will feature so that we get a good range of images and theres a connection to the meanings of each card but I can’t create all 78 art pieces on my own.

For the moment I’m going to focus on the Major Arcana of which there are 22. So, if you are an artist in the Queen fandom and would be interested in participating please follow the link below to a short survey I’ve created where you’ll be asked to rank the cards in order of which you’d be most interested in creating art for.

LINK

Below the cut I have included the list of cards and the prompts for each one, as well as some other info about the project. If you have any questions that weren’t covered below please send me a message (via ask box or dm)!

If you see this and aren’t artistically inclined please give it a reblog or share it with any artists you know. I’d love this post to reach as many artists as possible and I can’t rely on tumblr to show it in the tags or anything so I would love some extra help spreading the world.

Why A Tarot Deck?

I’m honestly not even sure where exactly this idea came from. All I remember is that one day I thought it would be a fun idea and then I started thinking about it more and realised just how much work it would be. In an effort to learn about the meanings of the tarot cards I started learning to read tarot (something I’ve been curious about for many years now anyway) and it all sort of snowballed from there.

Why Multiple Artists?

Because I’m not confident or capable enough of pulling this off on my own lmao. I enjoy making art but I struggle big time with drawing people and faces and I know I would give up after a handful of cards if I was doing this on my own. But multi-artist decks are very much a thing in the tarot community and theres some really cool ones out there.

What Sort of Art?

Anything. Whatever medium you enjoy using - digital, watercolour, acrylics, charcoal, etc - and whatever your style is! As long as you can send me a clean copy that can fit into the card template, then you can do what you like. The prompts I’ve chosen for each card are also fairly loose because I didn’t want to limit anyone’s creativity. Part of the joy of a collaborative deck is everyone’s individual interpretations of the cards and the imagery on them.

The only times I may say you can’t depict a particular outfit or moment is if I’ve already planned it to be on one of the minor arcana cards but otherwise you’ll have free reign.

I Don’t Know Anything About Tarot, Does That Matter?

NOPE! After the survey responses have been collected I will deal out the cards to everyone (hopefully in a way where everyone gets to work on something they really want to 🤞) and part of that will include a PDF with some information about the card - keywords associated with it, examples of other decks, why that prompt was chosen for it, etc - to help you get started if you need it. I am also always available to ask questions or bounce ideas off of.

Distribution?

This is the part I’m still looking into. I am wary of putting these up for sale anywhere because obviously there are copyright things and using people’s likenesses and all of that and the last thing I want is for my favourite band to take me to court lmao. Currently I am investigating a site called Make Playing Cards which basically lets you design your own card decks (one of the specific options being tarot cards) and print them off without having to bulk order anything. I’m just not entirely sure if they let you upload and share a design for free or if you have to put them up for sale. I’ll also create a PDF version that people can print themselves at home if they like. If anyone has any other suggestions for this I am all ears!

Of course something like Kickstarter is also an option I guess but, again, I’m still looking into all of this.

Time frame?

I definitely do not want to rush this. The loose timeline I’ve been working off of gives you three or four months to create your card after which time I can start finding people for the minor arcana cards. But, this can be adjusted depending on how many people sign up and y’know if everyone submits their pieces earlier than that then we can bump the next stage up. But I want to give everyone ample time to create something they are proud of. And I am very aware that the current global situation is affecting people’s creative energies and on top of that some of you may be participating in Inktober or similar things around this time of year, so I am also happy to extend the timeline.

What Happens If Not Enough People Sign Up?

Look, I guess it depends on how few artists are interested. Ideally I’d get enough people to do the major arcana but I’m not getting my hopes up. There is a question in the survey asking if you’d be willing to create multiple pieces so if there are left over cards I can hand them out to anyone who says they want them. I can also do a couple myself I just can’t do all 78 cards on my own.

What Happens If Too Many People Sign Up?

I am surprisingly prepared for this scenario. Firstly there were a few ideas I was throwing around that didn’t end up being used in the final list so potentially we can create some alternate cards.

Secondly, there is still the minor arcana to do as well. The minors will work a bit differently though. The minor arcana is similar to a deck of playing cards with four suits (wands, cups, pentacles, swords) and the numbers ace through ten plus four court cards (king, queen, knight, page). I was thinking the same artist could pick a number or court position and create the four cards for it so that they all match, if that makes sense. That way all of the Fours will look the similar and all of the kings will look similar etc. SO if anyone doesn’t get to do a major arcana I’ll check if they’d be interested in tacking a minor instead.

You Said There Would Be A List Where’s The List?

The Fool/s - Smile

The Magician/s - Queen

The High Priestess - Freddie in The Great Pretender

The Empress - Roger in The Great Pretender

The Emperor - Miami

The Hierophant - The Prophets Song

The Lovers - Freddie and Jim

The Chariot - Tour Bus

Justice - Present Day Bri

The Hermit - Older John

Wheel of Fortune - A Night At The Opera/Bohemian Rhapsody record

Strength - Ben Hardy

The Hanged Man - Highlander (or any of the queen songs featured in it)

Death - Bri in the Hard Life video

Temperance - Naked bicycle race

The Devil - Death on Two Legs

The Tower - Frank from News of the World

The Star - Rami Malek

The Moon - Gwilym Lee

The Sun - Joe Mazzello

Judgement - Adam Lambert/Q+AL?

The World - Made In Heaven/Tribute Concert

As you can see there’s a mix of Queen themselves, other people associated with them, objects associated with the band, and songs. I know some of these are sightly out there or unusual but please have a think about them and see if any spark your interest or get the creative juices flowing. I am also open to discussing potential other images to use instead if you’ve got an idea. As long as they can be tied to the meaning of the cards.

[feelingbluepolitics]

"Since 2016, the special counsel’s investigation and two Senate Intelligence Committee reports have spelled out in great detail that Russian disinformation warfare against the 2016 election was extraordinarily concerted, insidious, broad in scope and deliberately crafted to divide the country along racial and social lines. Numerous top intelligence officials have warned that Russia and other outside actors will strike again.

"The entire Ukraine scandal, for which [t]rump has been impeached, is largely about disinformation. [t]rump extorted Ukraine to get it to announce public statements that would smear Biden with disinformation and help validate conspiracy theories that Ukraine, not Russia, interfered in 2016.

"In effect, [t]rump was trying to pressure a foreign power to help manufacture more disinformation to help mislead U.S. voters about a domestic political opponent and absolve Russia of its original disinformation warfare campaign against this country.

..."[t]rump has retweeted accounts from the far-right conspiracy theorist QAnon. What’s more, [t]rump and his prominent supporters have played an active role in spreading disinformation against Democrats. 

..."All this is a sign of what the Democratic nominee could face. It’s no wonder that some Democrats are worried we might even see 'deepfake' media manipulations.'"

This is why this year, prior to November, is not the time to "bring this country together." We need resilient tribalism.

We need to reach additional voters, not as centrists willing to give way to Republicons, but as people who have come to understand that nothing less than trump can disrupt the hardened agendas of Republicons, and trump makes them more extreme.

People may be dissatisfied with politics and with both political parties. People may not like some Democrats, or may disapprove of some Democratic track records. But the Democratic Party remains encouraging of and highly responsive to the voting democracy, whereas Republicons are set in their agendas, have spent the last decades evolving them toward immovable permanence, and are hostile to democracy.

For anyone who is not happy with where this country is headed under trump, or who hesitates to see the country fully committed to trump's regime with no going back, the only hope is to vote, and vote Blue, regardless of what messaging is passing around.

If there is a legitimate problem, Democrats will insist it be corrected. Republicons, obviously, will adopt it and worship it.

Democrats are responsive to voters.

Republicon voters are responsive to whatever the leader or agenda of the Party is. Their obedience makes this dangerous when Republicon policies are increasingly extremist and unpopular among all Americans.

Republicons have cheated and manipulated themselves into disproportionate power over the last half century and more, and they have held too much influence over the country. Favoring business and companies after World War II, for example, was smart as an initial measure to help the country recover post-war. Continuing to favor corporations increasingly at every level, while tearing down workers and election integrity, has helped no one except the top 1%, who are functionally Republicon clients.

We should give democracy and Democrats a chance before giving them up.

[migleefulmoments]

Crisscolfer Strategy #1

I stumbled upon this 2017 post from Abby and I was struck by the first 2 paragraphs because she lays out her strategy for finding cc proof- nothing is surprising but to see her admit the simplicity of the 3-prong approach is breathtaking. For someone who spent a lot of time claiming she knew more than she could share, it’s impossible to imagine where that type of knowledge fits into this simplistic strategy. The rest of this writing covers satangate- I did make some comments but you can skip it if you want: 

(X)Anonymous asked: I've been out of the CC game for a while since I moved but I still ship them. Basically I want to know if there's been any recent interaction between Chris and Darren cuz I can't find anything but I saw Darren's tweet about if you insult his you insult him and it really shocked me I've missed so much!

ajw720 answered: Hi anon. Darren and Chris have not publicly been seen together since the end of Glee. They both did the march in LA last week. But we’re a block or two apart. Fact is. Ours is not an easy ship to sail. To believe. You have to look at everything from the clues on social media. To the messages in chris’ books. And the ones in the lyrics of songs Darren talks about. Some clues are overt, like My Chris Col-Fur, some more subtle like a reference to Flounder a few days after the Little Mermaid. (Here she sums up her strategy and it looks as pathetic as it is. To believe in CrissColfer you have to look for clues on social media, find the messages in Chris’s books and Darren’s song lyrics-not songs he writes but songs he talks about as if he is Blaine breaking into song to express himself at Dalton.  That’s it! That is the cc recipe for finding CrissColfer clues: hyper-analyze social media, read Chris’s children’s books, and hyper-analyze song’s Darren talks about.)  

To be here and believe. You have to be smart, observant, thick skinned, resilient and patient. And you have to be willing to overlook the many lies that have been told. (Now she sets expectations- they spent years bragging about how smart and observant they are. That has stopped in the last year or so- I guess the wedding she didn’t see coming even after Darren, Mia, Chord and a bunch of StarKids all headed to NOLA and Vera Wang posted on IG about a special wedding shook her enough to stop claiming she was observant. Smart? If you spend 5-10 years believing Darren’s life as told only through gifs, screen captures, and anon stories than you are not very smart. You have to be thick-skinned because Abby loved Darren and finding Darren and Mia together was very difficult. You have to be resilient and patient because there isn’t much cc evidence to find. This was written in 2017 - two years post-Glee so she knew that very little evidence was to be had and that the days of Chris and Darren hanging out bts or at work events were long over. The last line is the most. telling “you have to be willing to overlook the many lies that have been told”. Of course, the “lies that have been told" are actually Darren’s truth.)

But honestly. There’s enough. 2 years later and the clues are plentiful. And frequent. And we have the help of Team Beard who thankfully are horrific at their job. Plus. Chris truly is the captain. He can say what he wants about fandom. But he gives to ours a lot. (This is very disingenuous- there weren’t many clues at this point. The clues were in Chris’s books and Darren’s song. Mostly they were still skating by reblogging the cc evidence collected during Glee but that was getting very tired and stale).

Satangate. Not a lot is known to be honest. It was after the DC pops concert. A young fan, said to be about 15 years old, uttered the word Satan. The sound was caught on video. The word was said. No one. No one knows who it was directed at or why she said it. After that Darren left.

Allegedly he returned shortly after. Said fuck you to the young fan. But what’s interesting. No one. Not one single person out of what I understand to be about 10 people caught it on film. So we don’t actually know, do we? Do I think Darren is innocent? Not completely. I’m guessing something occurred. But how bad it was, we have no idea. (This argument is so stupid- Darren walked back in and yelled- it probably took 10 seconds total. The 10 fans were already dispersing and didn’t expect Darren to waltz back in and yell at them. Nobody had any reason to have their phones out or to start recording and it was over in an instant. This was the first time I remember Abby needing  “photographic evidence or it didn’t happen” but only when she didn’t like the story. If it was cc-positive- it didn’t matter who or where the evidence came from). 

Subsequently there was the disrespect tweet on twitter. No doubt that was posted by Ricky or beard herself. Both of whom were present. (See-no proof required. She just knows it wasn’t Darren who posted the words on his Twitter than matched the message he gave to the small crowd of fans. She doesn’t like the Tweet and she doesn’t like Mia so that is all he proof she needs- Mia did it) 

The fall out. Darren got so much hate and for a prolonged period. It appears he called out a young fan for saying the word Satan. Do not get me wrong. No one should be calling names to someone’s face. I don’t agree with that and I think you all know my personal feelings about the people who surround Darren. That is disrespectful. But this was handled terribly and it appears that a young fan was shamed. Not just in person but on social media. By an adult.(Darren does something wrong but it’s everyone’s fault but his-this is a common theme in her writings) 

My opinion? I think a bad situation was made worse by the toxic people in Darren’s life. I think he was pressured and didn’t handle it well. I also think it was greatly exaggerated to show him in a bad light. And I think he regretted it. And Again. The tweet is separate and I’m confident they were not his words. (Besides the outrageous excuses she makes for something he did that she didn’t like, she has to add the part about how he felt. There is no way she could know how he felt. It is comments like this that should worry Abby’s sister and anyone who follows cc because of Abby) .  

The one good thing. She was banned from fan events for quite sometime. She’d didn’t go to We day in London. Nor was she present at the next 2 pops concerts. And the one in NYC included an after party with Darren and any member of the audience willing to pay the price of admission (to support the pops).

Darren isn’t always perfect. Nor would I be in his shoes. But he tries to learn and correct himself. And, I have said this multiple times, something happened to him the week he was in London. He was off the radar for a week. Officially we do not know his travel companion but can absolutely confirm she wasn’t there as she was tagged by friends in LA multiple times over the week. And well. It’s convenient that chris was completely off the radar that week. Darren came back with a renewed energy. And a renewed spirit. The NYC concert was the Darren we love.(”He tries to learn and correct himself” -again not something we know. It’s something she hopes and wants to be true but not something Darren spoke about readily. Every time Darren was not on social media he was “off the radar”. In truth, he was only off Abby’s radar. Chris is off the radar most of the time as he doesn’t publicize the events he does attend and he doesn’t do fan photos very often).  

And I have noticed a difference in the bearding since then. A Major difference. We get heavy chunks of it. But there have been some deliberate choices made and I think Darren has been protecting himself more. She’s limited when he’s working. It was very evident during hedwig when there was little interaction between the two. (In Jan 2017 she was so observant that she noticed a “difference in the bearding” yet he was engaged by Jan 2018 and married by Feb 2019).  

So I do think he learned from that event. And I do think changes were made. And I think that’s the important take away here.

[famedbasearchive]

OUR SONGS: EPISODES 3 & 4

Timeline: September 5, 2020, to October 10, 2020

On-Set Filming Dates: September 5, September 6, September 24, October 8

Deadline: October 1, 11:59PM KST 

Those involved in Our Songs this month may earn up to 9 points total for writing, by the end of October 1 KST:

Completions of the two interviews included in the in-character prompt. (1 point each, up to 2 points total)

Up to two solo paras of 400+ words based on filming for episodes 3 & 4. (2 points each, up to 4 points total).

A thread of six posts (three per participant, including the starter) with another competing muse based on the Our Songs episode 4 and 5 schedule. This must be with a different muse than the thread you collected points for last month, if applicable. (2 points)

An aesthetic of the color assigned to the muse representing its tie in to the song they wrote. This should include a description. (1 point)

These do not count toward monthly limits or toward normal schedule points. All posts for this task block should be tagged with #fmdos2. Please remember the number of the above tasks completed by each muse will factor into eliminations during blocks with eliminations.

There are not tasks available for muses outside of the main cast for this task block.

IN-’VERSE INFO

Following the performances on September 5, the competitors will go backstage to their dressing rooms for a little under an hour while the audience is instructed to vote for two songwriters each. These votes will be calculated and combined with online track votes based on a weighted formula, and then the competitors are brought back out. They are first told the cast members that got the most votes in the live voting and the online as follows:

- Live audience vote: Kami - Online vote: Jaewon

The overall rankings with both voting combined and ranked are then announced from eighth place to first place as follows:

8. Joohwan 7. Eunah 6. Sun 5. Suji 4. Kami 3. Taeyong 2. Youngjoo 1. Jaewon

It is then announced that no one will be eliminated this episode, as the votes were surprisingly close between all competitors, but two competitors will be eliminated following the next round.

On September 6, the idols will once again return to the “recording studio” set they first met at on their first day of filming. Competitors will be seated based on their rank (first place in seat one, second place in seat two, etc.). Basic pleasantries will be gone through recounting the last round and reminding everyone of the rules and structure of the show before their attention is drawn to a table in the middle of the room with a box on it. One by one, each idol will go up in order of their ranking (first place first, second place second...) to the table. They will pull out a small, colored sheet of paper without explanation yet as to what this means. The colors drawn will be as follows:

Jaewon: White Youngjoo: Red Taeyong: Green Kami: Blue Suji: Black   Sun: Purple Eunah: Gold Joohwan: Pink

After all competitors have drawn, they will return to their seats with their colored paper and Choi Jihoon will inform them of their second songwriting mission:

“As songwriters, you won’t always get the chance to write around around a theme as specific and personal as your own identity. A good songwriter should be able to take a simple concept and shape it into something memorable. They should also be versatile. For this task, you’ll be asked to write a song based on the color of the card you have pulled out of the box. How you interpret the color is up to you and you may take it as literally or as figuratively as you’d like. There’s only one catch: the song you write must contrast with the song you wrote for the first round in some way. This could be in genre, mood, themes, lyrics, or anything else you feel represents a strong contrast from your introduction.”

The competitors are given time to react to the prompt before the filming ends. Before leaving the building, each musician will film a talking head interview in a private room with a small team of cameras and producers where they are asked the following questions:

You’ve had some time since you found out your ranking in the last round. How do you feel about your ranking and what pressure do you feel it puts on you this round?

What are the first thoughts that come to mind when you think of the color you drew from the box?

Do you already have an idea in mind for what you’ll do for your song this round?

After seeing everyone compete in the first round and knowing the task for this round, has your view on your biggest competition changed? Who do you expect to do the best this round?

From September 6 to September 23, all competitors are given time to work on their songs and they will be filmed both through the stationary cameras installed in the studio in their company buildings and will also be instructed to continue to use their self-cam to record their creative process.

On September 24, all competitors will return to the recording studio set. The process for this filming will again be very similar to the last episode, with Choi Jihoon reminding everyone of the task and offering time for all of the competitors to discuss how their songwriting went among each other as a group conversation. Each competitor will then be asked to go back into the recording booth part of the set and give a live “recording” performance of the demo version of their song in front of the rest of the cast. This time, they will go in order of ranking from the last episode, from first to eighth (Jaewon → Youngjoo → Taeyong → Kami → Suji → Sun → Eunah → Joohwan). The rest of the cast will be filmed reacting to the performance and will be allowed to comment and give constructive criticism or praise following the end of each demo performance.

Final mastered versions of all songs are due to the production team by September 27.

On October 4, the final version of each competitor’s song for round two will be released onto streaming sites and voting will open for online audiences.

On October 8, all competitors will arrive to a venue in Mapo-gu, different from the one they performed at for the last episode. The venue is a real indoor concert venue and not just a set, and it has an intimate capacity made for live performances. The venue is frequented more by mid-tier singer-songwriter types than idols. The competitors won’t be aware they’re performing in a different setting until they arrive. The process here is the same, though: they will perform their songs to be voted on by a live audience. Minor prop elements are permitted, but they should be small and easy to store when the performer is not on stage. The respective companies will be responsible for the styling and performance preparation of their idols. 

Once filming begins, the competitors will be informed they will be performing in order of their ranking from the latest episode. In case anyone has forgotten, the host will remind everyone what this order is. As everyone expects the show to proceed without anymore changes, Choi Jihoon reveals one last twist to the contestants: the show did not open online applications to draw a live audience by lottery like they did for the last episode, but, instead drew an audience entirely by having production assistants pass out flyers on the street for a concert by mystery artists. The audience is composed this time by passer-byers on the street who were interested in a secret concert and were willing to sign a release form for filming for broadcast television. The context of the concert was only revealed to the audience after they had all entered the venue. This is intended to give them an audience representative of the general public and the real music lovers of today and not only a crowd of eager fans. After this news, the performances will proceed as follows:

Jaewon - “Reply” (performance reference)

Youngjoo - "RUNNIN’ BACK” (performance reference)

Taeyong - “21″ (performance reference)

Kami - "Superwoman” (performance reference)

Suji - “Arari”

Sun - “Dystopia”

Eunah - “Count You Out” 

Joohwan - "Whistle”

As each competitor is performing, the other seven songwriters will sit backstage together in a large dressing room while their reactions are filmed to a large monitor of the performance happening onstage. At the conclusion of each stage, each competitor will be given time to talk about their thoughts on the song that was just performed before the competitor who just performed returns to the room and is switched out for the next performer. In the final airing of the episode, only some competitors’ comments will be aired per song.

During the break following all eight song performances, each competitor will be pulled into a room for another talking head interview (admin note: please wait to complete this interview until all songs have been chosen and listed above):

Talk about your song. How does it contrast the song you wrote for the last round “Introduction / Identity”?

Did the different venue and audience atmosphere impact your performance in any way?

Which of the other songs/performances caught your attention the most?

Which song do you expect got the most votes?

OUT OF ‘VERSE INFO

As will be done with all rounds, the overall rankings for the first round were determined by random generation in groupings of the number of tasks completed. In this case, spots one through six were generated by those who had five completed tasks in the #fmdos1 tag on their muse’s blog by the deadline and spots seven and eight were randomly generated between the muses who had four completed tasks in the #fmdos1 tag on their blog by the deadline. (Posts must be in the appropriate tag on the muse’s blog before the deadline to count, but if there has been a mistake, please contact the admin, and if this is the case, the ranking will be fixed accordingly.) The only exception here is that the admin’s muse will not be eligible for the first place ranking unless they are the only muse who completes the most number of tasks. Proof shots of the name picker can be found here (note: admin is in EDT, while the deadline was in KST, so the names were drawn after the deadline for round one).

The winners for separate live voting and online voting were determined using weighted selection based on the randomly generated overall rankings. Rank one got eight submissions into the generator, rank two got seven, rank three got six, etc., and then names were drawn. Proof shots of the name picker results for this can be found here.

For this task block you will need to submit the following information: the song you would like to claim for your muse to create for this round’s task (and a performance reference if one is available) and the creative claims on it.

The form link will be uploaded here at 12AM KST September 5/11AM EDT September 4, twenty-four hours after this post goes up. The form link can be found here. A reminder of the limits of creative claims on each muse for the show can be found here. If you think there is a mistake or if a song is released that leads to a necessary update, please contact the main.

Songs Claimed:

Han Seungwoo - Reply

zai.ro - Whistle

Minzy - Superwoman

Leebada - RUNNIN’ BACK

Dean - 21

Lucia - Arari

Zico - Dystopia

Jimin Park - Count You Out

SONG LIMITATIONS/REQUIREMENTS

The simplified theme for this round is “Color / Contrast”. Please read the prompt in the in-’verse info for full details on what this means.

For all rounds, a song must fit all general rules of music claims (i.e. matches muse position, is not too explicit, must be by an artist in the Korean music industry, etc.) and must receive admin approval.

For this round, these are the additional limitations and requirements on songs that can be chosen:

The song must be solo. This means it cannot be a collab or have a feature.

In real life, the song must not be a title track according to Melon and cannot have an official MV. Special clips, live clips, choreography videos, and minimal production lyric videos are acceptable, but the song will have to be re-released on an album in the future to claim such videos as canon to the universe.

In real life, the song cannot have charted higher than a tank of 75 on Gaon’s Weekly Digital Chart at any point.

You may claim songs with choreography, but choreography creative claims are not available. Choreography will only be performed during the final stage with the live audience, not the demo performance for the cast. As usual, songs with more emphasis on complex choreography should be reserved for muses with dance positions.

[kalluun-patangaroa]

Suede

SKY magazine, December 1993

written by Simon Witter 

"HELLO! WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?!" asks Brett Anderson rhetorically, staring at the fluff he has just removed from his ear. "I haven't taken these earrings off for about nine years."

It may seem an incongruous moment to ask the 27-year-old indie pin-up about his personal style, but hey, that's the kind of guy I am. "Tatty," replies Brett with a wry smile. "I haven't been able to get out and go shopping."

Brett Anderson, frontman of Suede – the British pop sensation of 93 – is hotly rumoured to have a great dress sense. Today however, perched uncomfortably behind an executive desk at the central London HQ of his record company, his head inadvertently framed by a halo of Right Said Fred promotional balloons, he is sporting a navy blue jeans'n'top ensemble he accurately describes as "just anything". Brett has been telling me how he spends most of his time with people who work in shops or are unemployed – "real people, not in the business" – so I presume this boutique bonding provides a clue to his supposed, though temporarily non-evident, style savvy.

"Oh no," he gasps. "Not clothes shops! Most of my friends are in food shops. So I know a good bit of brie when I see it."

The thought of Brett Anderson having, at any point in his life, ever eaten food, conjures images of pigs flapping their trotters as they sail past this second floor window. But we press on with the personal style enquiry.

"I want to change it at the moment," he says. "I'm sick of wearing second-hand things. I used to have a grudge against new clothes because I don't like wearing things that another thousand people are wearing. It's nothing to do with being into clothes from years ago, or tatty clothes at all. I'm quite keen to toy around with my style until I eventually find something, to have clothes made for me. There's never anything, when I go out and look for clothes, that I really love. I've got quite a strong vision of what I want, which would be very, very well fitted things. I don't like baggy things. I like lots of ethnic looks. I really like the Spanish look, that sort of matador thing." By way of explanation, Brett strikes a pose, clicking imaginary castanets above his head. "I like that shape. Prince wears a really brilliant little thing sometimes. When I kept getting my bellybutton out, it was really a desire to achieve that shape more than anything, nothing to do with flaunting my navel."

It's well worth flashing your bellybutton while you still can, I assure him, a rueful hand on my own expanding waistline.

"Yep," he smiles. "Well I can't anymore. Not after that chinese last night."

In May of 1992 Suede released their first single, 'The Drowners'. They had already been on the cover of Melody Maker – before they had a record out – and would grace 18 other British magazine covers over the next year, including the cover of Q on just their second single. Their eponymous debut album, released last March, went straight to No. One in the charts and went on to win the Mercury Prize, and last autumn they released a full-length concert video Love & Poison. At this rate, it will be time for their memoirs by easter.

Within the bizarre, incestuous fishbowl of the British music media, Suede have become almost self-damagingly important. After a couple of wilderness years spent faffing about, finding their feet and being universally loathed, their overnight transformation into the most hyped band in the world was nothing short of miraculous. Yet it created impossibly high expectations of their music. A German friend told me how surprised he was, after long distance exposure to their media glare, to discover how average Suede sounded – a judgment that casual discovery of the first album would hardly have elicited. And while touring America, their support act the Cranberries famously outshone them by an enormous factor when it came to album sales. Yet phase one of Suede's career has been – or appeared to be – so extraordinary, that they are going to be hard-pressed to follow it up with anything similarly momentous.

For now, we have 'Stay Together', a new, epically long single. As a measure of Suede's magnitude in the reality-starved world of British indie pop, I am treated to an absurd preview of the track the day before meeting Brett. Before entering the listening room I am subjected to a bag search to check – I kid you not! – that I'm not carrying a concealed tape recorder.

In LA, the world capital of muso control freakism, I was played U2's Desire, the immediate-follow up to their 15-million selling Joshua Tree album, eons before its release without anyone thinking twice. Yet now, without a hint of humour or irony, I am being treated as if I not only know anyone who cares what the next Suede single sounds like, but would be willing to pay for a tape of it recorded through a leather bag.

After regaining consciousness, I join in the fiasco, insist on a full body search (well, at less reputable establishments you'd have to pay good money for this touchy-feely experience) and am seated. The label boss places two speakers on each side of my head, facing my ears from about 20" away, turns it up LOUD, and begins to do that embarrassing, pseudo appreciative in-chair grooving that only people who work in record companies and recording studios have the gall to indulge in. "It's not pompous," he assures me, "even though it's eight minutes long."

Of course any pop song – as opposed to dance record – that lasts eight minutes is by definition pompous. 'Bohemian Rhapsody' was gloriously, defiantly pompous with a side order of pomposity to go. But, despite the circumstances, 'Stay Together' sounds like a fine, many-hued song, liberally doused with Bernard Butler's life-saving guitar, that is destined neither to win many new fans nor shock the devotees.

"It's about a sense of unrest I feel about the world," Brett tells me the following day, in an ill-advised shot at an explanation. "An attempt to make some sense when everything seems to be going slightly insane. I do get a real sense of impending doom, but not in a depressing way, not like we're all gonna die, let's go and rape people. I feel quite content with it. We're living under some shadow, and I'm not quite sure what it is. It's a bit like the fears I felt when I was growing up, when things were unstable and there was the threat of nuclear war, or the fear that your parents could die of aerosol poisoning."

Brett grew up, together with Suede drummer Mat Osman, in the soulless satellite town of Haywards Heath, between London and Brighton. According to Osman, if they'd been the tea party fops people make them out to be, they would've formed a grunge band. They only wanted to be really glamorous because of their stultifyingly dull working class backgrounds. Some might say that that would lead to the three-Es-a-night, dance-and-forget syndrome, rather than the formation of a glam rock band.

"Hopefully we're not a glam rock band," Brett shudders defensively. "You can escape those surroundings by taking a load of Es and ignoring it. Another way is to create your own myth, to try and become romantic in your own eyes, to create something beautiful out of the rubbish and the shit. It all sounds very Oscar Wilde, but that's the way we did it. None of us were brought up in workhouses, but we haven't had easy lives at all."

Suede claim to be obsessed with fame because they were excluded from it. Yet surely fame is the one classless thing people aren't born into?

"Lots of people are constantly privileged," says Brett, who has clearly spent an unhealthy amount of time pondering the abstract qualities of fame. "If you're born in Soho to rich professional parents, and you've got Jonathan Wotsisname coming round to your house every night to see your father, then you've got this world that you slip easily into. When you're excluded from it there's a desperation, you're desperate to have it. It doesn't come as second nature to you, like professionally famous people who hang out in Beverly Hills. It's not something you're comfortable with, but that mutates it into something far more interesting, a bit prickly and far more creative, because you're not just sitting there lapping it up."

Suede's appearance coincided not unfortunately with the post-Madchester 70s revival. But was their styling something more than just the result of being unable to afford new clothes? Personally, I had thought the emergence of Gary Numan had killed off the idea of anyone ever again wanting to be David Bowie (not to mention Bowie's recent records). Then along came Suede, with their rough guitars, their androgyny and their theatrical singer.

"I never thought of ourselves as '70s," Brett insists. "David Bowie is a genius, but the rest of all that rubbish I always found laughable. As for the clothes, I always thought we looked more 60s than 70s. It's all tied up with this whole kitsch thing, this Magpie and Porridge and rediscovering the culture of British music journalists' youths. Kids of 14 didn't know what anyone was talking about, it was just that the people in power had reached a certain age where they were getting sentimental about their youth and started remembering Magpie. That's all it was, all a complete load of rubbish. As soon as we were aware that this scene was going on, we wanted nothing to do with it."

Brett's voice is a highly variable instrument, perfect and beautiful on slow numbers like 'The Next Life', but occasionally, when he affects that archly operatic Bowie yodel, a whiney, sneering sound like Rik Mayall on speed boring into your brain – absolutely maddening. It goes without saying that his delivery owes much to the most overrated British pop star of the last decade, Morrissey.

"I forced my voice in that way because of how we were born, musically, playing shitholes. It was the only way I could make myself heard. I didn't want to sing in the murmuring way that was the style of the time. I wanted to project my voice, because I was writing songs that I wanted people to hear the words of. I wasn't just writing about fluffy little clouds, which is what everyone was doing at the time. People read into my intonations a theatrical seventiesness, but it was a complete accident."

Overworked as the subject is, it's hard to avoid asking why Brett thinks his androgyny caused such a fuss. It's not the first time it has been done; it's not even the tenth time. Genderless, mincing fops are to classic British pop what hairspray is to American rock, a staple ingredient. Brett, by comparison to most, is pretty tame.

"I don't know," he sighs. "We certainly weren't thinking 'oh let's be androgynous', it's just the way we are. I'm naturally quite an effeminate person – not all the time, I do play on things. I think it was because, at the time, people were so incredibly boring. We had been through five years of the cult of non-personality, and we never wanted to go with the flow. When everyone had their heads down, chugging away, we wanted to twist things a little bit. It's like at school, when you find that something annoys someone, you keep on doing it more and more. And that's what happened really."

A female psychologist wrote recently about the overt sexual expression of pre-pubertal girls at pop concerts, the way in which, amidst the non-contact hysteria of the pop experience, they could sometimes experience their first orgasm. She was, admittedly, talking about a Take That show, but I can't help wondering if it looks like that from the stage to Brett Anderson?

"No, nothing like that," he purrs, "nothing sexual. I always feel like people are putting it on."

Having their first fake orgasm?

"It's a bizarre thing in my head. I know they really like me, but I can't really take it seriously. When I'm onstage, and it's working, I feel like I can do absolutely anything. I feel as though there's no limit, even in the sense that I could fall asleep if I felt like it, because I'm that relaxed. I feel much more comfortable on stage than walking down the street. I could go off into a corner and do a crossword or shave my head. I feel ridiculously relaxed. I really enjoy the power of being onstage. It's to do with the circuit of the flow between the audience and you, when it's an audience willing you to be good. Your own power is an expression of how the audience is feeling, but I can't say I ever feel sexual, even if it looks that way. I think that to call the power purely sexual is to belittle it. When I've been to incredible gigs, it hasn't been a sexual thing, it has been something far more magical than that. "

Brett and Osman came to London in the mid 80s to study, respectively, architecture and politics at UCL and LSE. Suede began after they placed an ad in the NME in 1989, but initial concerts had audiences shouting "Fuck off!", critics calling them effete wankers and record companies running for the hills - a three-pronged invitation to eat shit and die that would have spelt the end for most bands.

"That X factor that made people despise us," muses Brett, "was something we managed to turn around in our favour. It's like being in love with someone, and exactly the same things you adore about them, completely horrify you when you've fallen out of love. We went away and learnt how to write songs, and came back transformed. And those qualities that originally pissed people off, we transformed into something provocative. I think the fact that we went through all that rubbish was a fucking good thing for us. People forget that the Beatles spent five years in Hamburg. No one would touch them in England, cos everyone thought they were an utter load of shit. They spent five years getting it together, suffering a bit and fighting for it."

A typical lyric from those hard years was Brett's line about "shitting paracetomol on the escalator". When they were recently described as chemically saturated, I had assumed more interesting chemicals were involved.

"That's about pure mundanity, being off your face every night and your staple diet coming from your bathroom cabinet. It's a metaphor for a humdrum life, going up and down the London underground, which I spent five years of my life doing."

In many ways this – Suede's poignant soundtracking of new depression Britain – is their strength. But if they are Her Majesty's equivalent of slackers, it hasn't made America any more amenable to their cause. Indeed, despite Brett's avowed loathing of the British character – "negativity, small-mindedness, lack of faith" – there may well be a Britishness about Suede which prevents America from getting the point.

Brett makes the mistake of quoting a Smiths song to me – something about innocence, fragility and trust – forcing me to point out that American audiences don't want to be trusted with something precious, they want to rock out with their cocks out. Evan Dando may wear a dress and pigtails, but the wider American market is notoriously unkeen on sexual ambiguity. Queen were big in America until the early 80s, when Freddie Mercury started appearing in full clone gear. They never toured America again, and didn't have a single hit until after his death (and then only thanks to Wayne's World). In fact, America's association of guitars and manliness make Suede fundamentally unsuited.

"No!" storms Brett. "I don't think we're fundamentally unmanly. All you have to do is come and watch us live. We're about sexuality, power and emotion, things that everybody feels."

Whether or not America is destined to fall for his Morrissey-meets-Larry Grayson stage persona, Brett's much-aired desire to move to America (and less well-known plan to live in Paris) has, for now, been replaced by a much smaller act of bedouinism.

"I've moved from Notting Hill to Highgate," he announces proudly, "from a fashionable place to a place where you're living in the last century pretty much. I was living in a very small flat in Notting Hill and it was driving me insane, I couldn't write and was being bombarded with nonsense all day long. I needed the peace and quiet, and now I have a bigger flat with a studio room in it and I'm writing quite prolifically. It's more serene, there's more space to think. It's quite a beautiful place, but you do feel like you're living in the last century, like you're some sort of oddity, or in a play. You keep going into these odd characters. But it's a great place."

In person, and despite the affectation of much of his thought processes, Brett Anderson is quite charming. An endearing smile – which seems to hibernate when cameras are around – plays constantly around his face, suggesting shared confidences which, to some extent, he delivers. Like so many people cocooned by over-protective minions, he is refreshingly open and approachable. I like him. But he is deeply shocked and incredulous when I paint a picture of the special treatment afforded him by those he works with.

"They treat me with the respect I deserve," he jokes defensively. "I don't have tea with Lenny Kravitz. My best friend works in a chip shop, and that's why I like it, it's a complete escape. One of the beautiful things about being successful is that it can rub off onto your friends as well. Not fame and all that bullshit – the really brilliant thing about being successful is the self-confidence, the sense of life having a purpose, that life is a wonderful thing. You open the shutters in the morning and the sunshine pours through. That sense of vitality about life can completely rub off on your friends. Sometimes it doesn't, it can go the other way, with friends ignoring you cos they think you don't have time for them, but that never happens with your proper friends."

And yet, engulfed in the sweltering perversity of his peer group, Brett has come to hold some pretty crap views, views that seem utterly irrelevant beyond the borders of saddo indie land. He worries about being thought a sell-out, thinks Suede are radically honest because they admit to having ambition – as if people didn't get over all that bollocks a decade ago – and, worst of all, that people don't talk enough about music in interviews. Oh dear!

But, despite all this, Brett's public image remains unshatterably cool. He exudes waves of sultry, sulky hipness. I feel an urge to know what naff items lurk in the corners of Chateau Anderson, his ownership of which will shock Suede devotees to the core. Brett tells me he's been to see Aladdin, listens to jazz music, likes The Orb and Verve and has just bought the new Shamen single. To prove it, he even does his Mr C impression - "Comin' on like a vibe, y'know!". This won't do at all.

"I like Terence Trent D'Arby," he admits, trying harder. "I think he's really good."

It's good, but it's not right.

"I bought Billy Joel's River Of Dreams album. I like that one."

Aha – as Inspector Clouseau used to say – now we are getting somewhere! What about films?

"No, I've got impeccable taste when it comes to films."

No feature length On The Buses video stashed chez Brett?

"No. I have got Crocodile Dundee."

Bingo and Bullseye! So much for impeccable taste.

"Well, my perennial favourite is Performance," he flusters wildly. "I can virtually quote the whole film from start to finish. And there's a brilliant film which I've just discovered called The Shout, with John Hurt, Alan Bates and Susanna York. It's about a man who has spent years in the Australian bush learning the secrets of the bush doctors coming to this ridiculously reserved Cornish village and turning two people's lives upside down. It's like an animal alive within this village, and when he shouts, everyone within a mile radius dies. If Alan Bates' part had been played by Vincent Price, it would've been laughable, but it's incredibly powerful, one of those great lost films."

It's a nice try, but nothing can erase the impression created by Billy Joel and Crocodile Dundee.

[bigfan-fanfic]

Forms of the Gods (Percy Jackson Thoughts)

I love the Percy Jackson series. I admire so much the creativity it takes to reimagine the myths in the modern era. And I’ve been thinking of how the ancient gods interact with mortals today, when hardly anyone truly believes in their existence.

Zeus is a guy you might meet in a bar or at the gym: the guy who flirts with anything with a pulse. He’s quite obviously a douche just looking for a one-night stand, but he’s so devastatingly charming and handsome that the little voice in your head telling you he’s bad news goes unheard. But when he’s not picking up women (or men, as the mood takes him), he’s actually an avid NASCAR and Formula One fan. Also sometimes he’s a handsome guest meteorologist that appears for one broadcast on your local news channel, then vanishes, and people have dedicated entire subreddits to tracking him down, to no avail.

Hera is the goddess of marriage, so perhaps surprisingly, you will find her most often in divorce court. She takes the form of a firm but fair judge with a reputation for the most equitable divisions of property and the best custody arrangements. You can find her as a social worker who knows all the ins and outs of protecting victims of spousal abuse. Marriage is her domain, and she feels it is her personal responsibility to protect the innocent when a marriage goes wrong. She also commonly takes the form of a site inspector for animal adoption, although people might be weirded out by how often she gives the animal in question a side-eye, as if trying to see if it is hiding something.

Hades is a grief counselor. He’s the kindly man comforting a child at the scene of a tragedy, allowing him to carry them as he searches for their parents. He’s chasing stupid kids away from headstones, and he’s the janitor at a crematorium who always has some insightful comment to make. He’s also a Wall Street broker who is particularly good at playing the market, and he’s a banker who finds a way to be extra lenient on loans for those who need it. But he’s also the IRS auditor that everyone’s so afraid of.

Poseidon is a surfer dude who always shows up on the red flag days at the beach and never wipes out. He’s a lifeguard on other days - sometimes he’s incredibly strict, sometimes he’s saving a kid from a riptide, and sometimes he’s ignoring the ocean entirely and flirting with some lady, putting suntan lotion on her back or some such. He’s that dude on a hiking trail who’s riding a horse for some reason, and doesn’t seem to use a saddle. He’s a businessman peddling the newest earthquake protection developments for buildings, and he’s protesting against ocean pollution and whaling. He’s that guy who’s rescuing baby seals and helping clean up oil spills. And he’s a fisherman who comes to the pier every so often and sets out his rod. He always catches enormous fish but throws them back, shaking his head. People are always scared of what he might find to be big enough.

Demeter is a protestor outside a fracking site. She’s the lady selling organic jams at the farmer’s market, and she always knows who has the best fresh fruit. She’s partner at Golden Sword Law, an environmental activism group, that always lobbies against laws that would allow harmful emissions. She’s the kindergarten teacher who launches a classroom vegetable garden, and she’s a horticulturalist preserving the old ways of farming.

Hephaestus is the guest judge at a robotics competition. He is the blacksmith at a Renaissance fair, and he’s the guy at Medieval Times who is in charge of the swords. He’s a firefighter with some bad burns, but knows hot to get someone out of a building well enough. He’s at underground robot battles, and he’s also a gruff yet surprisingly effective therapist for people who have been cheated on.

Hermes is the new mail carrier who delivers the mail earlier than you expected, and there’s always money in the envelopes when he comes. He’s the mugger on your first trip to the city who takes the money but gives you back the wallet or purse and says welcome. He’s a jogger who seems to be blessed by traffic lights, and he’s the guy who gives you the best directions.He’s a shopkeeper who always spends all your time talking about his day, but you don’t mind because he’s so interesting. And he’s an up-and-comer on late-night poker tournaments who folds at the oddest, yet most opportune times. He also has one of those obviously phony psychic networks. All of his social media is full of viruses and sends spam by the second.

Apollo is that backup singer or that drummer that’s oddly more attractive than the lead. He’s the opening act for the concert you came to see, and you end up buying his album and having him sign your forehead before you leave. He’s the teenager playing the guitar to earn money for college, and he’s the handsome and talented new doctor that makes everyone want to get food poisoning or something.

Artemis is the lady giving tours at space museums who knows absolutely every fact there is to know about the moon. She’s the naturalist nursing wolf pups who has a knack for rehabilitating animals back to the wild. She’s on the news for breaking into a zoo and releasing the animals, and she’s an animal rights activist who shows up wherever she’s needed.

Ares is the guy starting a bar fight, and the guy ending it. He’s the bouncer who always makes sure everyone leaving with someone is willing and consenting. He’s the guy who intervenes in a street brawl and rips the fighters apart, sustaining several blows in the process. He’s a competitive body builder, and a mechanic in a chop shop. He’s also sometimes the guy at Medieval Times with the swords, but he’s more often in the show as a knight.

Athena is, shockingly, an Internet troll. She goes by the handle owl-eyed-fact-checker and posts essays that illustrate with grace and humor how the OP is completely wrong and foolish. She responds to every comment, and when she cannot win an argument, resorts to changing the topic. But Athena is a stern teacher who throws a surprise pizza party instead of a pop quiz, and she is a substitute that the kids know better than to mess with. She’s a historical consultant on a TV show, and she’s a regular attendee of quilting bees and crafts shows. She also is a guest appraiser on Antiques Roadshow.

Aphrodite runs a dating site that she also uses. She’s administrating singles’ events, and promoting her own skin care line. She’s a model, but she’s also an activist for including all body types in fashion. She’s a marriage counselor, and the best-selling author of the self-help book True Love Takes True Work. She’s a romance novelist, she’s a soap opera writer and star, and she’s a vicious Hollywood agent. All her social media simultaneously posts body positivity messages and advertisements for her cosmetics side by side.

Dionysus (at least, after his term at Camp Half-Blood ends) is a theater critic as often as he is an actor. He plays Rosencrantz in an avant-garde production of Hamlet and completely steals the show, then plays Ophelia in the next showing and again, completely steals the show. He’s in the background at the wildest Hollywood parties, and he’s a surly loner you see at a wine tasting, claiming that he’s had a bottle of some rare wine nobody’s ever heard of.

Hestia is the relative you don’t remember ever meeting before at a family gathering, but you wish you had, because she is such a hoot. The only record anyone ever has of her are the family photos. Every member is in them, and no one can remember who exactly took the pictures. She’s a little girl picking up litter at the park, and she’s a guidance counselor at college who is incredibly good at curing homesickness.

[taenys]

🌙 tiffany’s magnetic moon tour fanaccount🌙

So, we got to the venue at around 1pm but only did a little drive-by to see if there was anyone already in line. There was no one, and my sister and I didn’t really want to be the ones to “start” the line, for fear of being kicked out by the venue staff. We instead just walked to a nearby café to have lunch and wait to see if more people showed up. 

After a couple of hours, we walked to the venue again and there was still no one there, so we walked around the block again, and when we got back to the venue there were 3 people “in line”/waiting around by the entryway, so we decided to just wait with them. This made me 4th in line for the entire event. This guaranteed that I was going to be not only at the front row, but also in the center. At this point it was 3pm, and the VIP meet and greet thing was supposed to start at around 5:45 so it felt like a good time to be in line. 

We stood in line, cold and nervous, but mostly just excited. I had replayed in my head over and over what I was going to say to her when I met her, but nothing sounded quite right. I’d seen from other people on twitter that they’d gotten hugs from her, and had time to say quite a few things, so I prepared myself for a similar experience. At around 6:20 (much later than the scheduled time for the VIP entry) staff finally called the VIPs and we all went through security. It was finally time to meet Tiffany herself

I gave the letter I wrote to her to her staff to give later. We were told meetings had to be done in groups of 5 or 6, so my sister, mom and I were in a group with the 3 people in line in front of us. When we walked in, Tiffany was seated on a bench by herself and her staff directed us to take a seat on the bench, 3 people on each side, and that they would take 2 photos and that was it. 

I wasn’t really listening to anything anyone was saying though because the sight of Tiffany left me in shock. She was so tiny, and so PERFECT. How a human could have skin THAT clear and smooth, and a smile that shining…it was unbelievable. The 3 people in front of me obviously got the seats next to Tiffany, so I didn’t get to see her as closely nor did I get to directly interact with her during this VERY quick little “meet and greet.” She directed us (in her typical Manager Hwang way) on how to do the poses; first we did the “magnetic moon” pose which was just making a crescent moon by making your hand a “C” and placing it over your eye. The second pose we did finger hearts. My hands were shaking and my heart was racing the entire time.

Afterwards staff promptly directed us to leave and head for the main stage area now, but the two fangirls in our group stopped to ask Tiffany for a hug. They both got a hug and Ruby and I just awkwardly watched and walked very slowly in the direction staff was trying to get everyone to go. It was clear staff didn’t want anyone getting hugs or any special one on one time with Tiffany, it was just supposed to be a sit, get your picture taken and go sort of thing. I didn’t want to leave without telling Tiffany SOMETHING so I said “You look so beautiful Tiffany” on my way out and she looked at me and gave me that cute puppy dog look of hers where she furrows her brows (y’all know the one) and blew me a kiss with her hands in the sweetest way. My night was made with that alone. I didn’t get a hug but I was the first fan to tell her that she looked beautiful that night. 

After that we all scurried to the barricade to get our spot for the show and, of course, I was front row right in the center. We considered going to buy merch before the crowd inside got bigger, but decided against it for fear of losing our spot in the pit. From then on out it was just time to wait for the show itself to begin. That moment when the lights go off and you know that means she’s about to step on stage, and the music starts up and the stage lights start swirling? Nothing will ever beat that feeling. It’s the best high there is. The curtain opened up and Tiffany stepped out. My heart literally stopped. Tiffany…was wearing…the tiniest tightest little red dress of all time. Ruby and I had discussed what she might wear for our show, since she’d been wearing something different each time so far. Never in my life did I imagine she’d decide to wear the ACTUAL SEXIEST OUTFIT OF ALL TIME for US. That TEENY TINY DRESS, hugging her curves in all the right places, paired with the black fishnet stockings and black boots, holy FUCK she came out to kill each and every one of us. My lesbian ass was DYING. No offense to anyone else who sees her at any of her other stops but, that outfit will never be topped. With her long black hair in those sultry loose waves, too? Iconic. 

RFYL was her opening song, and what an opening THAT was. I remember screaming to Ruby next to me, “her SKIN????!!!!” because it was absolutely mind-blowing how smooth and flawless her skin looked? Like literal actual porcelain. And then how tiny she is in real life?????? I know her profile says she’s like 5’4 or something but she’s 5’1 MAX. She’s TINY. And sooooo thin, but so RIDICULOUSLY beautiful. I couldn’t even focus on the music initially, I was still too mesmerized by her physical presence, and how absolute IN LOVE with her I am.  After RFYL she did Over My Skin which…singing that song, with those lyrics, with the sexiest choreography in THAT dress…just fuck me up Tiffany Hwang. What a win for the lesbians tonight, I swear :’) I recorded fancams of every song, and took a few little breaks to take pictures so I’ll post those after I post this. 

Heartbreak Hotel was next, and I was so glad she did perform some of her older Korean songs too. God, her voice though. She’s SO good live. The notes she was hitting, those runs she was belting? Legendary. I was scream singing along with her the whole show (my voice is gone now). She kept telling us to dance and seemed to give more fanservice to fans who were singing along and dancing too, so I made sure to…well, be myself I guess. I’ve never been the kind of fan who stays seated during a concert or just goes to “listen.”

One of my favorite things to do is blast kpop and dance around the house when I’m home alone, and one of the things she said during one of her talks in the show was that she wanted to see THAT kind of energy. A judgement free zone, so even though I didn’t hear anyone behind me scream singing or feel anyone near me dancing (the dude next to me was quiet and stiff as a board the entire time), that didn’t stop me and when Tiffany looked over at me (which she did A LOT), she’d get that BIG smile on her face, with her signature eye smile, and I’d MELT. It made her so happy to see us having fun along with her. Seeing Tiffany have fun playing around with us, nothing feels better. We made her smile, I made her smile, and you really can’t beat that feeling. 

So during the next song which was Talk, one of my all-time favorites of hers, she saw me signing my heart out at her and knelt down to sing to me and we just had this sweet perfect little moment where we were singing to each other and I just????? I have no words. Love. All I felt was love. Pure and simple. That’s my love up there, signing her heart out and I’m so proud of her. I’ll gif that moment but I swear, it was the most intimate and significant moment of my life. And it had to happen during my favorite song of course :’) I’m going to cry every time I listen to Talk now :’( She looked at me an absurd amount of times during the show; I can’t even count them all. But she came and sang to me again during Runaway, and it was again…INCREDIBLY intimate and sweet and magical and felt so special. I’ll probably notice even more little eye contact moments from here when I go through all my fancams, but for now those were the two most significant moments. 

My overall feeling now after replaying it all is…Tiffany is unquestionably one of the greatest artists of our generation.  More than just her being one of the best vocalists (that husky soulful voice of hers remains unmatched), she’s pushed herself in so many ways and it’s been so amazing to witness? She was teased about being an “awkward” dancer, so she came out with “I Just Wanna Dance” and proved everyone that she could be a fucking great dancer. She’s a perfectionist, she’s her own worst critic, but she’s never given up. God, I fucking admire the fuck out of her for that. She’s never stopped; she’s never given up, she’s kept her head up, kept smiling through all the bullshit she’s gone through because at the end of the day singing and performing is her entire life. 

I’ve never seen anyone as passionate about singing and performing as she is. When she’s on stage you KNOW that this is the whole reason she was put on this earth. There was never any other option for her, and that’s why she left home at 15 and moved to Korea, without the support of her family, not knowing anyone and not speaking fluent Korean. She went with the fiercest determination, the biggest dream, and an unstoppable spirit. She was going to sing, that was all that mattered to her. Training day and night, being under the nightmare of the Korean music industry, she was willing to tough it all out just for a chance to be on that stage, to share her voice, and eventually to share her own original music for people. 

And now she’s 30, doing her first NA tour. Baby Hwang Miyoung’s dream of inspiring the lives of millions has long since come true. The collective feeling of warmth and comfort we all felt when she sang The Flower was so serene and so breathtaking. Some of her songs make you feel like you’re being held in a comforting embrace. Others make you feel like you can conquer the world, some make you feel stronger than you are, and some make you feel the butterflies of a first love. I can’t wait to see what else she comes up with in the years to come, and I can’t wait for the next fucking tour!!!!!! 

And, to quote something I wrote about her over 5 years ago that holds truer now than ever, “Tiffany is an actual angel that came down from above to spread love and warmth and happiness and inspire us all to be the best that we can be and to never stop dreaming and fighting for what we want. basically, Tiffany is the epitome of all that is good in this world. Tiffany is a blessing to this earth. she encompasses everything good, everything positive, every good feeling, she just…she lives it. in everything that she does, she works hard, she never stops smiling, she never stops being who she is and finding a reason to keep going. she’s the most determined and the most driven and the most optimistic, and that inspires the fuck out of me. i just…i can’t believe someone as amazing as her exists in this mess of a world. she’s a reminder that there is good in this world, there is still beauty and love and laughter and light.” 

That’s what Tiffany is to me. 

[lillywaters]

Days Gone- Zombie world all around us

Yes, there could be some spoilers so be alert and aware!  Also note a good chunk of this is about my life and what is going on and why I haven’t been posting much to my Youtube channel or twitch.

******If you just want game overview and feelings on it go down to the section near the bottom that says only about the game***

I know I haven’t posted a lot here when I have finished some games, and even more so my streaming and uploads to at youtube have been few throughout the week.  I tend to be a girl who loves her zombie story type games as long as they have good mechanics   characters you can fall in love with and gathering with some crafting.  Days gone came into my life when I needed it the most, it was a game that allowed me to look at life and deal with feelings I have been dealing with when it comes to family.  Note: I will not be able to fit in every detail with what has been happening… too much shit has happened.

 Overall the world is beautiful, the story kept me going, heck even side quests I was willing to do. I wanted to try to do as much as I could in this game whenever I had time…five minutes free fuck it going into the game.  The main character Deacon may have been rough and tough when you first meet him but you soon come to find out that his journey is about love, and never giving up. Yes, at times he had to deal with grief and letting go but there was some kind of hope.

Some people have private messaged me asking why did you not upload more game play after your first three hours?  Some of you who may not be part of our discord may have not known but I had a family crisis happen, heck it is still happening today.  Really it started many years ago well over 10 years by now when my brother married a woman.   You have to understand my brother and I used to be very close he was my best friend but something just felt odd about this coupling and my family’s world was tore apart like the zombie attacks we often see in days gone.

The only good thing that came out of it was my niece, who I quickly got into anime and video games, after all what cool aunt would not do that right?  I would see my brother on and off throughout the years not as much as I used to but when we did get together it was a buddy relationship that you see between Deacon and Boozer.  Then one year the worst thing seemed to happen, the family found out that my brother’s wife was drinking or doing god knows what.  We found this out after the fact when she tried to take the stirring wheel from my brother he was driving and kill them both (Luckily my niece had stayed at my sisters that night).  She was place into suicide watch for 24 hours, and the family was told she would seek help.

 It was at this point my brother who felt like he was out of control of his wife, re-entered religion (do not get me wrong when done correctly it can be a great support…in the case of my brother it was an extremists branch). Once this happened he had pulled away from the family even cutting family members out.  More shit happened over the years more than I could explain here and he became somewhat an estranged sibling but, deep down I had hope that one day he would wake up.  If he was a character from the game he would most likely be the crazy ass Colonel Garrett.

We now fast forward to 2019….my phone rings right before a community play it was my sister.  She asks me if I am sitting down (Keep in mind I tend to be the one who doesn’t let her emotions get away from her so at this point I am just rolling my eyes).  My sister tries to keep it together as she tells me my niece was just air lifted to the hospital.  What she knows so far is that she had tried to kill herself by taking meds but they were unsure what and she was in a coma.  I had warn my family over the years to always pay attention to her and that something was going to happen but being the youngest every one brushed me off and now it happens.  I go the next day when she is finally awake and spend some time with her, it is at this point that I find out that she couldn’t take it anymore from her parents.   She had to be perfect, religion was forced down her throat she didn’t agree with, and this was her second time that she had tried to do this (no one knew about the first time).  

Because of this she was sent to a state hospital required by the state due to how many times she had tired to kill herself.  Luckily out of all this it was one near where I lived so I was able to go sit with her and talk to her.  It was the first time she was able to speak her mind and be herself.  I soon find out that she is part of the LGBQT community, something her parents did not know and for good reasons.  They were very anti-LGBQT but soon after they found out after hacking into her phone.   We had a month together to communicate openly and we both worried about when she was going home.  She is now home now but, things have only gotten worst.  She is a prisoner in her own home, her father my brother cutting off anyone from the outside world even her own aunts.  And what broke my heart was when she got in touch with me again. She was depressed hitting a low because even though she finally was able to say out loud yes I am part of the LGBQT community she was scared of being with the person she loved.  I asked her why and she said because she was always told it was wrong….and because of that she was wrong there was something wrong with her.  A parent should never ever make a child feel that their very being and feelings are wrong.

 Then a couple days later, I had called my brother he did not pick up his cell.  Left a message asked him to call back.  Waited until he would get home called his cell was sent right to voice message three times, called him home was sent to the answering machine. Asked my sister the best way to get him to respond which was text….so I wrote out a text telling him there was a rated PG anime movie coming to theater for one night about a concert band (She is 17 so old enough to see it).  I told him where it was two adults will be with her, I will pay for her ticket drive her both ways and it is a month away.  It was clear he did not read the whole thing a quick cold response of “We are not ready to let her do ANYTHING”  followed by a “ I AM BUSY EATING AND WATCHING A MOVIE”.  It was clear I was in his way and he did not want to talk to me.  It was clear that he was cutting family off and locking his daughter away from the outside.  Then my phone buzzed again it was my niece she had gotten ahold of her cellphone that she is allowed to use now a days for only a hour a day..  “Was that you calling??”  Yeah, was trying to set up the movie for you… “I thought so… he kept hanging up on you… I asked him who it was and he wouldn’t tell me.”

 It was right there that I realized, my brother who I was hoping made it out of that car that one night really did not make it out.  Whatever, got out of that car was just an empty shell a zombie who is just taking from anyone who he can and when it doesn’t get its way it brings down its own horde of zombies to kill off anything living.   That night I went back to playing my game, I realized that I had put hours into it without recording it.   I often will do this when I am dealing with stress or some form of trauma. It allows me to go to a world where the player has some kind of power, has some different story and is able to grow and become stronger.

 This was the same case with Days gone.   We have a man who believed he would find the love of his life his wife.  No matter how many times people told him he kept fighting through the zombie hordes no matter how shitty it got.  Then I finally got near the ending and the first shock of it when it came to Boozer had me tearing up.  After I had calmed down I realized the reason why I got somewhat emotional during it wasn’t just because they had built a great bro for the main character it was allowing me to go through the grief process of losing my own brother.  Who he was- is gone and I have come to accept that and understand that.  And while I hope that at the very end we would see he would come back like Boozer the fact is he won’t he is just another empty shell like the thousands of zombies I killed throughout the game.  I am grateful for games with great stories and worlds…they allow me a place to adjust and take things in, they allow me a place to go one adventure and sometimes they allow a place for the player to accept things that have happened.

    I hope you guys will stick around the channels I am starting to come back out of my shell of playing games alone again and I hope to ride with you all with the next story i dive into (haha see what I did there ride haha saa... ok bad pun)

    Only About the Game:

Over all I really did enjoy the game, it was a place I wanted to spend the few free hours I have between work and graduate college classes.  The story while some says just keeps the status que, I feel is not the case. If something like a zombie outbreak happens we would all have our own story.  Some may mirror each other but each one has some differences.  The main character may start off seeming only 1D in his personality BUT if you are paying attention to the little details, the little emotional ques from his face you would see there is a lot of heart, and you would see a character who struggles to deal with some of the choices he has to pick.  A prime example of this would be when he joined the military camp and one new member is a druggie.  In the camp it is very extremely religious under their leader who is very one sided. There would be no help for a druggie and the person would be cast as one of the undesirables.  Deacon over times builds a weird friendship with this person, and even states that he would be a good person to guard the doctor of the camp.   Shit hits the fan, the doctor gets killed and the druggie well takes the drugs.  It is at this point Deacon is told to go find the druggie and bring him back alive to be hung.  We get to the druggie before the other officers do, and in an emotional interactions between the two Deacon decides to do a more humane thing( instead of having him be made as an example before the hanging) and helps the guy OD before anyone is able to drag him back to the camp.  You could tell it killed a bit of Deacon’s soul to have to do this but he had enough heart to make sure someone did not have to suffer.

Now for the gameplay, sometimes and this MAY be because I was playing on it with first gen PS4 would have some lag burst while I was on the bike and a horde was chasing me like no tomorrow.  These burst would last 2-5 seconds but you had to hope to god you did not hit a tree or car or it was game over when that happened.  When it comes to crafting the game gives me the feels of Last of us. You gather some items and you craft, heck even the quick crafting window felt just like The Last of Us.   The only issue I had with the menu would be one your health hits the shitter and it says push the D pad…if you do not hold it down it doesn’t heal and often times I found it quicker to open up the main window and heal.  The only other issue is sometimes I felt it would jump to a different item so instead of me throwing my damn cocktail it would throw a pipe bomb at the nest which did not kill off the nest but would still trigger the zombies.

I will most likely upload this to my PS4 Pro when that comes (this week) to see if the lagging issue happens on that system.  The quest line, the main quest line was fun and getting the extras just added to the story. Take your time see the world try to do everything and you will easily be able to get a lot out of this game.  The DLC at this time from what I know is just adding extra modes you can do- it is free but I feel like they could do more. How about a new storyline about rebuilding even if it’s just doing the basic fetch quests in the game (some of us PVErs love building).  We will see if they do anything more when it comes to future DLC.  

 The other thing if you liked Joel from the Last of us you will like the main character in this game…and OMG the puppy make sure to find those toys!  The other thing that seemed to be the only bug I had other than the lag mentioned above, I think for a total of two quests the area would not load. I would have to log out of the game and reboot it up to get the area to load.  Once again could have been a game bug or maybe my old girl of a PS4 is having a harder time with late gen games.