#again it's also a very Fandom thing to do

[alpaca-clouds]

BG3 fans, we gotta talk CPTSD

Okay, I have spend about a week considering writing this blog, but I really gotta say, that it is something people really need to understand. See, I mostly see this issue with Astarion and his depiction in fandom. However, I would argue that it is a thing that affects literally all characters that play some sort of bigger in this entire game. Including many NPCs.

But let me start with Astarion. See, I wrote the blog two weeks ago about people being judgy on people, who do not want to have graveyard sex with him. Mostly people will argue how Astarion should be allowed to have his agency in that moment - while I argued that whoever the player is playing should have also agency in that scene. Including the agency to say "no" for whatever reason. I also included that my Tav absolutely denied Astarion, because he was not trusting that Astarion in the scene really was ready for it, for a variety of reasons. Which is very much a valid reason for someone not to want to sleep with someone else. (Literally every reason is a good reason for that, mind you.)

And obviously there came the comment, that went basically: "As someone who was raped I am very appalled by you saying that raped people cannot consent." Which is very much not what I said.

What I said was, that my Tav did not consent. Yes, he did not consent because he thought Astarion was not ready for it - but he is the one not consenting. It does not matter for this whether his assumption about Astarion is true or not. Tav does not feel comfortable in the scene, so Tav does not want sex right there.

However... If you consider the drow orgy scene, Tav is also very much right. If you do that scene after defeating Cazador, Astarion is enthusiastically consenting to that orgy, but he still ends up dissociating during the scene. (And in that scene, even if your character notices it, you cannot go "Stop!" Which I hate.)

Here is the thing. If you are in the BDSM scene, you might actually have encountered a scenario in real life where someone was enthusiastically consenting to something - only to them realize, that they were not into it at all. And people can withdraw their consent IRL at this point. Only that in this game, obviously you can't. So within the game choices I will just start out with "no" for this character.

Still, that is actually not what I mainly wanted to talk about. No.

What I wanted to talk about is the other thing. I absolutely know that for a variety of reasons a lot of SA survivors do identify with Astarion, and I do not want to take that from anyone. I think it is amazing that we got a character with whom we see this issue portrayed seriously. And let's face it. Especially in tumblr fandom circles, we will have a lot of SA survivors, because the userbase of this website is majority afab, and many are queer. And we know from statistics that queer afab people are even more likely than non-queer afab people to experience SA at some point in there life. So, yes, Astarion is going to be embraced by this community makes sense - even without his dashing looks.

But here we get to the actual meat of the issue: Astarion was not just raped. Astarion was abused in a variety of ways - some of them sexual - over the course of 200 years. He went not through a single traumatic event, but an ongoing trauma that, again, lasted for 200 years.

Or to put different: Astarion does not have PTSD. He has C-PTSD. Complex trauma. The kind of trauma that develops when the trauma lasts over a long, long time, without the survivor getting a chance to ever really properly ever relax. Something that was very true for Astarion's time under Cazador. He was under constant threat of rape, torture, and other forms of violence.

While CPTSD is a form of PTSD, it has some differing symptoms - and additional symptoms from plain old PTSD.

I found this graphic on this blog here, and found it fairly good in the depictions. (If you google CPTSD you will find several graphics like this.) It shows very well the additional symptoms, compared to normal trauma.

Generally speaking, CPTSD brings a lot stronger issues with self-worth, interpersonal problems, and emotional regulation. CPTSD folks are often prone to emotional outbursts (this graphic names anger, but technically it can be all other kinds of emotional outbursts - which is why at times CPTSD gets confused with BPD).

And Astarion is written like this. He shows very much all the symptoms of CPTSD. And let's be honest: That is an issue he will have to deal with for a long, long while.

But... As I said, the same is actually true for pretty much all the characters.

If you look at the companions, it is obvious.

Gale spent at least a year in constant fear of blowing up. While Mystra's abusiveness towards him within the relationship prior the orb is more fanon than canon (though the relationship was defnitely not an easy one), the "one year in constant fear of death" is very likely going to instill some form of CPTSD in him.

Karlach was a slave for 10 years, forced to fight in the hells. While she will also probably suffer from certain forms of PTSD more common in soldiers. Additionally I would argue that she also has some CPTSD from tiefling-racism. While she does not bring it up often... She does seem to have a thing there.

With Wyll it is a bit more complicated. Yes, for him I would see the kind of CPTSD I have - parental abuse related. Ulder was not openly abusive, but neither was my mother, and guess what fucked me most up in my childhood, despite experiencing some really bad violence elsewhere.

Shadowheart was abused by Viconia and midwashed and tortured and was forced to kill her fucking pet mouse. Bonus points that a lot of it happened during her childhood. She very much is gonna suffer the consequences.

Lae'zel... Do I really need to say something about her upbringing among the Gith?

Then we have Halsin. We know fairly little about his background, given that he is very coy in talking about it. But his "three years as a drow slave" definitely make it likely that he has developed some form of CPTSD.

And then we have Jaheira and Minsc. For whom just the... Well, look folks, the adventuring lifestyle would logically also leave you with CPTSD of some sort.

Even if you play a Tav who entered the game after having a very untraumatic life... They will spent what has to be at least two months with a tadpole in their head threatening to kill them - while half of Baldur's Gate is trying to do the same. They'll have PTSD after this at the very least, if not CPTSD. (Even though, let's face it, chances are we all gave our Tavs more than enough background trauma to go along with it, right?)

And same goes for so many other characters. The tiefling refugees. Our main villains (especially Gortash and Orin). Cazador. The other vampire spawn (duh). The list goes on.

So, what am I trying to say here?

Well, for once I just want to make sure folks understand that CPTSD is a thing that exists and while being similar to normal PTSD differs in some points. Including the fact that people with CPTSD have a high likelihood to make very rash decisions driven by instable emotional states, that might be harmful to them on the long run.

And mind you. In real life most people with CPTSD have it because either they were bullied for a long time, or were in an abusive relationship of some sort. (Abusive parents, abusive partners, abusive friends/roommates.) But even in those heightened scenarios the game represents for the most part - the issues are gonna be still mainly the same.

[mcsm-confessions]

Hello. I am very angry so I will not be anonymous. I do not like involving in things but this is Horrible, I've been watching it happen for too long.

As an adult in this fandom, we should NOT harass minors. We should not condone harassment of ANY KIND HERE.

it is a MINECRAFT BLOCK GAME. DO NOT ACT LIKE CHILDREN WHEN ATTACKING MINORS. DO NOT DO THAT?

Why does someone need to tell you, adults, to NOT do that? You should know better. Shame. Literal shame.

I am 20 years old and I think we, as adults, should raise this as a safe space for minors to feel COMFORTABLE and SAFE. Not drive them out of a space LITERALLY MEANT FOR THEM.

Stop. Harassing. Minors. Over Ships. It is stupid. It is pointless. Live life with ... I dont know.. joy and an open mind? maybe be happy???

Once again: you, as an adult, should be the person making this MINOR TARGETED GAME a safe space FOR THOSE MINORS.

You are ADULTS. Stop behaving like children. And to those minors who are also harassing others, you should not waste your time with negativity. It makes you a bitter person that will grow into a bitter adult.

I am begging you.

Leave. Minors. Alone.

~~~

[yanderes-galore]

Hiii! Absolutely in love with your writing! Never thought you'd ever write for Helluva Boss or Hazbin Hotel. Out of your top fandoms, may I propose that the reader is immune to Vox's hypnosis? Having this rare ability, they try escaping the V tower but it ends up being the biggest mistake. This TV seems to be possessive and canonically a control freak like a lot of TV based characters (looking at you Mr. Puzzles) lol! I know you're a busy person with their own life in the end of the day so I won't be mad if you refuse to write this. I love the content you provide us with already <3

Sure! I wasn't sure if you wanted a concept or a one shot, so I just focused on rambling out my thoughts on it. It could work either way though so maybe I'll follow this up sometime.

Yandere! Vox with Darling immune to hypnosis

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Violence, Anger issues, Kidnapping/Post-Kidnapping, Stalking, Possessive behavior, Mentions of Val's smoke/Drugging, Forced relationship.

It's hard to say who, at this time, has immunity to Vox's hypnotism.

It's currently only known to grab the attention of people who are... paying attention.

So, maybe you're oblivious or just never paying attention to his hypnotism.

Which in itself is incredibly frustrating to Vox.

However, another method is natural immunity.

I'm thinking maybe you're also an Overlord that has to, unfortunately, have meetings with The Vees due to a partnership.

Vox probably still outranks you, yet you're strong enough to resist his powers.

Another option is simply having a specific type of gear or tech you created that blocks his hypnotism.

Regardless... One way or another Vox can't use one of his most powerful tools on you...

Which naturally makes him pissy.

He can't do his usual subtle charms against you, carefully manipulating you into listening and being his.

Even when he captures you, you never seem to listen.

Normally it's easy for Vox to make other demons listen to him.

Unless they're Valentino or Alastor.

But now he has yet another demon who can just... ignore it.

He has so many fits when he tries to trick you into something, only for you to shut him down.

It's humbling and he hates it.

So, if Vox wants to keep you in the V Tower, he has to expect more resistance.

In fact, normally escape attempts would be amusing as he can just charm you again.

But now he can't do that.

I feel your immunity would stress Vox out at times.

Even if he manages to manipulate you into V Tower, keeping you there is difficult.

Vox is naturally charming, so you may agree with what he says at first.

Hell, maybe you two were dating before things went wrong or at the very least on friendly terms.

Then he goes crazy and locks you in your own personal room with high security and everything.

Vox was once drawn to (and frustrated with) you due to your immunity.

That was what got him obsessed in the first place before he started having all these... feelings.

Sinful feelings.

You're distracting, even more so when he can't charm you to give him attention.

So what better way to force your attention than manipulate you into the tower.

Maybe you were meant to be another V, but once you had enough of Vox and his obsessive behavior, you tried to leave.

Only for Vox to lock you away.

As he can't charm his way into making you listen, now he has to keep you by other means.

Such as cameras, screens, electronic locks, all sorts of security.

Fine... You may be able to bypass his hypnosis...

But he has other means to keep you his.

The issue he ends up finding though is a lack of affection.

He can't charm you into giving it to him.

You ignore him and no matter how hard he tries... You never pay attention.

Considering how Vox thrives on attention...

This is devastating and leaves him screaming in frustration.

One way I can see him forcing you to be more... attentive is using Val.

Vox would probably somehow get Val to give him some of his smoke/spit.

Disgusting and disturbing? Yes... but that's the point.

Vox seems like the type of person to control you in other ways, since he loves control.

If you tried to escape your high security prison, or withheld affection from Vox, you're essentially getting gassed/drugged.

He most likely would test it with just a bit.

Then afterwards, depending on his mood, would up the dosage.

(This makes my skin crawl-)

Of course, escape was never going to end well for you.

Vox will find some way to break you.

Be that showing you his security, using Val, or isolating you...

Vox is going to force your attention to make you rely on him.

There's no genuine love with him.

Only ownership.

Escaping is near impossible with his coworkers, employees, and security.

At some point, you'll break and only have him to greet you...

Leaving Vox to embrace you with eager arms, his claws digging into your skin once you're finally his.

[a-secret-bolton-vampire]

CW: Rape, incest, CSA

This is actually not a strictly A Song of Ice and Fire post here, but it overlaps in some ways so I figured I'd write this.

Anyone who has not read the web serials Worm or Ward and wishes to avoid spoilers, don't read this post:

Disclaimer out of the way, I've found striking parallels between fandom reaction for both A Song of Ice and Fire and Parahumans regarding how characters who survived sexual abuse view their abusers, in a dangerously disturbing way.

For this I'm going to specifically be using the examples of Aeron and Theon Greyjoy from A Song of Ice and Fire to compare and contrast to Victoria Dallon in Ward. All three were psychologically and sexually tormented by their abusers during the course of the series. Theon is a young adult by the time Ramsay gets his hands on him, but Aeron and Victoria were both children when they were molested by family members so they will be the main two characters to compare.

In the case of Euron and Aeron, there are a (sadly very vocal) minority who are ready to dismiss Euron's danger to others by specifically using Aeron's abuse against him. Sure, Euron is evil and horrifically abused him and Urrigon when they were children, and it is understandable that Aeron would be mortified of Euron. After all, he tries to warn people about Euron repeatedly, only for his attempts to stop him to all fail.

The response by this section of the fandom to claims of Euron being built up as a major threat are essentially that Aeron's trauma is in the way of his ability to perceive Euron objectively. Is Euron actually as dangerous as Aeron claims? You can say the same for Theon and Ramsay. After all, Theon is half-mad warning Stannis about Ramsay, and Stannis is bringing some Rational Realness to the forefront by saying "what do I have to fear him for?"

Since GRRM is never releasing another A Song of Ice and Fire book it's hard to say what he intends but he could definitely intend for this to be the case. That said, there is a story featuring a similar character that is completed. Ward!

Victoria Dallon's sister, Amy, is a cape with healing abilities, though as the series progresses we know that healing is just the tip of the iceberg; she can change the biological makeup of living things. Amy is adopted, and has never felt any love from anyone other than Victoria. Amy develops deep romantic love for her sister, however, and then begins a series of bad decisions that just serve to deepen her already deep mental breakdown.

Amy proceeds to; alter Victoria's brain chemistry to give her compulsive romantic thoughts about her, then following healing Victoria after a battle, she spends several days alone with her, during which she repeatedly rapes her, erases her memories of said rapes, until her mental health deteriorates even further and she is unable to use her power properly and turns Victoria into the Wretch: a mass of flesh and limbs and heads, rather than anything actually human.

Then Victoria spends 2 years in a mental institution, stuck in a body she hates, all the while fighting the compulsions Amy left in place. When she finally returns Victoria to normal at the end of Worm, it is actually against her will and not because she had a change of heart or got more confident.

Then we get to Ward, where Victoria is the main POV. As is very obvious, Victoria is struggling with extremely intense PTSD, mentioning Amy is enough to trigger a dissociative flashback, and she wants absolutely nothing to do with her anymore: and fucking rightfully so.

Victoria also warns people about Amy. She warns her therapist to try to reach out to Amy before she hurts someone else, she warns literally anyone who will listen about Amy and what she might end up doing. We may not know what it is that Ramsay and Euron end up doing, but we do know what Amy does.

She refuses all help and doubles down on bad decisions, enslaves people with her powers, later imprisons and torments and touches Victoria again against her will, and becomes the dictatorial monster in charge of an entire planet. Victoria's warnings prove to be extremely prophetic and extremely real.

Now lets get into some discourse shall we?

Despite Amy being a rapist who rapes her sister, enslaves others via mind control, and literally never once improving as a person or acknowledging that her actions even caused harm, there are still those who think Amy isn't at fault. Some might find this post, but I don't really care. Amy is at fault for things Amy did. Victoria is not at fault for hugging her sister like a normal human being when Amy is upset, Amy didn't do her a favour healing her because then she just raped her and then really couldn't fix her back to a human body, and Amy isn't absolved of these sins because she healed a lot of people.

Essentially, Victoria is sometimes blamed for being raped by her sister, the rapist, despite Amy canonically being a manipulative lying liar rapist.

Okay so that doesn't seem to related to what the fandom says with Euron and Ramsay, right? After all, we don't really blame Aeron for being molested and Theon for also being sexually tortured and abused by Ramsay, do we? There are factors as to why that is (mostly that Aeron and Theon are men and Victoria is a woman; if you don't buy this argument look at people who say Cersei deserved to be sexually assaulted by Robert or try to use "the times" as an excuse to overlook Daenerys also being raped by Drogo) but there is an overlap here.

Amy being able to get away with that she did only to go on and hurt so many other people is a meta-commentary on the way survivors of sexual abuse are disbelieved or blamed for what happened to them. Naturally, those real like abusers end up going to abuse other people too. Fuck, even in the fandom, Victoria is still fucking blamed for things that she had absolutely no choice in the matter.

Which leads back to Theon and Aeron. Yes, trauma impacts the way you remember traumatic events, and that means objectivity can get lost at times. It can for Victoria and Theon and Aeron. But that trauma, the dissociation, memory problems, all of these together, are there for a reason. And that's because someone came along, ruined another persons life for their own pleasure and satisfaction, and then got away with it.

Victoria warned the world about what Amy would do, and she was unfortunately correct. Theon and Aeron warned others about Ramsay and Euron. Survivors should be believed, and not be dismissed. After all, it isn't our fault that we got abused. People may hear things about Euron or Amy or Ramsay, but the people who truly know who they are---what they are capable of, what they are actually like---are the people they abused.

So yeah, it's kinda fucking lame when I hear someone go "Stannis gonna prove Theon wrong with facts and logic" as if he doesn't, I don't know, have insight into Ramsay's psychology in ways Stannis doesn't. Same with Euron. Same with Amy.

Also fucking read Ward it hurts as intensely as it kicks ass.

[merinsedai]

Thank you, @ficreadingchallenge for this fun little bingo challenge this summer! Some of these, I could have filled multiple times and some I had to have a search for, but all part of the fun!

1. Under the influence: Spoils of War by @seiya-starsniper [E] Aphrodisiacs! Starting strongly with the smut. Kinda feral for this piece, multiple rereads. Hob is not a good man but he is good in bed. Dream has not spoken since he arrived. How long ago that was I don't know, but I'm in awe of the pettiness. Excellent, love it. Very much E (and probably not the only one on this list...)

2. Newest fic in the tag of your choice: listen, I'm very one-track minded. Dreamling has basically been the only tag of my choice for the past two years. So, the newest fic when I decided to do this square was: Dream Ship by @often-adamanta [E] A spicy little tale set on a space ship which Dream controls and Hob's his muscle. They're a new partnership and Dream's not happy about it so he's giving Hob the silent treatment. Queue Hob taking some alone time, Dream accidentally interrupting and Hob having no privacy issues at all. The start of something beautiful, no doubt.

3. Inspired by another fanwork: I'll Go To Sleep and Dream Again by @chaosheadspace [E] which is inspired by Shelter by softestpunk. An accidentally human Dream has need of the help of Hob Gadling to help him navigate life as a human (eg facial hair, food, and morning wood), regain his Endlessness and recover his tools. Whilst falling in love and having some hot sex ofc. Also, a lot of lovely petnames.

4. Mistaken Identity: As a Stranger I Know Myself by @phinofthestorm and @sleepsonfutons [E] Could be no other choice for this square. Gripping drama, mysteries, feeeeelings, smut (obvs), plentiful existential angst, and shit goin' down. Featuring Jessamy the raven knocking her head against the wall; Burgess's cane; name repetitions; everyone having A Time of it; side characters Shipping Them Too; oh, and a main character you don't expect to like as much as you do...

5.Slow Burn: What Dreams May Come, When Living is at an End by Sebena [T] This fandom is slow burn central, but this is the fic I'm currently in the middle of, and I'm quite enamoured with the relationship between Knight Hob and Morpheus, and it's beautifully descriptive. Plus some lovely pieces of art by @teejaystumbles A real treat.

6. Dressing Up: Make it Count by @arialerendeair [E] Dream gets to dress Hob up very nicely for posh dinners aboard the world's most famous ocean liner in this wonderful Titanic AU. Dream gets to dress down, too! A longer fic but absolutely gripping! Could also use Aria and Konstadt's Colour Forecasting [E] for this square. There's lots of fancy tailoring and clothing choices going on here. And lots of smut, relationship navigation and lots and lots of kissing.

7.Author's oldest fic: Metamorphosis by @windsweptinred [M] Delightful fic about-yes- the metamorphosis of Dream and Hob into Something Else. Starts with high drama as Dream is about to take Death's hand as the Kindly Ones are ravaging the Dreaming and takes things in a very different direction. There's stunning artwork on each chapter that really adds to the reading experience!

8. Small Fandom (<1000 fics): In Which Cat/Cow Is Not A Yoga Pose by @temve [E] ok, technically a crossover with The Sandman (although for pure Aldrich Kemp there's A Fishbowl, a Forklift, and a Friend: or, Who Hired Aldrich Kemp? which I read back in April, so doesn't count for the summer challenge) Temve has Aldrich's voice down to a T and her humour is so on point. I laughed out loud many times in both these fics.

9. Gift Giving: For Your Affection by @cuubism [T] short and sweet little fic by cuubism dealing with high larceny as a love language. cuubism's writing is so joyful, the playfulness she often gives to her Dream brings me great happiness and there's no exception here.

10.Enemies to friends/lovers: Tower and Rose by @moorishflower [E] Beauty and the Beast style 'au' with a magic tower, a mysterious lord, a plucky peasant Hob, an 'imprisonment', a terror stalking the grounds and many, many questions. Why are all the servants ravens? Twists and turns a plenty, and some fun eldritch sex sprinkled in.

11.Lyric Title-listen to the song, too!: please wake me/for my love lies patiently by @beatnikfreakiswriting [E] sequel to the also-having-a-song-lyric title, would you let me know...? aka fics that live rent-free in my head after having rewired my brain. Featuring the most relatable Hob ever, copious interesting facts in the author's notes, and a Dream who would have scared the shit out of me if he'd been my lecturer but is hot af and needs lots of love really. Lots of scorching smut too. Is this a theme? Obviously. Bonus that each chapter, and the series title, have song lyric titles too.

12.de-aging/kidfic England and Nowhere (Never and Always) by @dsudis [M] The last fill on my card, and one I had to search for. And I'm glad I did. I'm about 1/2 way through so don't know the resolution but a lot of it is very soft, especially Dream's relationship with the changeling toddler, Finn. Finn feels very much like a real little boy in his actions and his dialogue. I'm very much enjoying this fic.

FREE SPACE: literally anything by @tj-dragonblade fluff and smut and pure delight.

13.character study: Unsent Letters, Nameless Stranger by @rainbowvamp [M] letters from Hob to Dream throughout the centuries detailing the evolution in Hob's thoughts, attitudes and feelings towards his life, his history and mostly, his feelings for Dream (aka a lot of pining). I'm about halfway through the letters so far and am looking forward to getting back to them.

14.happy ending: My Fair Gadling by @zigzag-wanderer [E] a work in progress, so we haven't reached the happy ending yet, but I have faith in the author and this absolutely wonderful fic. Hob has such a strong narrative voice, he is a delight to read and so, so funny. I laugh out loud constantly in all of ziggy's fics, whether that's the dialogue or the hilarious analogies and metaphors. Professor Morpheus is a study in buttoned up sadness to begin with, but just wait until he's unleashed. He's unbearably sexy when he rolls his sleeves up and fixes car engines at the side of the road, and endearingly earnest in bed. I eagerly await every chapter (especially to find out what outfit Hob has shimmied into that day).

15.Secret Relationship: Risk and Reward by @signiorbenedickofpadua [E] absolutely cracking Regency au. Lord Morpheus spends a lot of time early on feeling mildly fevered. It's probably nothing to do with his new house guest, Mr Robert Gadling, right? These guys slowly, so slowly move towards Something Special. There is the ultimate thrill of finger brushing; the admiration of shapely legs and the highly charged Shakespeare reading. Also balls, duels, painting, stargazing, horse riding and misuse of biblical quotes. And I'm only half way through! The relationship is of necessity given the time period, secret. At the point I'm at, it's finally begun in earnest and I'm excited to see where the plot takes them next!

16. Angst: Exit Wounds by @valeriianz [T] There are many angst-ridden fics in this fandom, and I am a sucker for angst. I love it and seek it out. This fic by sanyumi tore my heart out, stomped all over it and then threw it in the river for good measure. Sometimes you just need to feel destroyed and this delivers.

17. Omegaverse AU So Tell Me Where To Put My Love by @seiya-starsniper [E] Another of my favourite au topics! This starts out with an unhappily arranged marriage, secrets and angst and lots of miscommunication and then explores the developing relationship between Hob and Dream; Dream getting to feel empowered; more miscommunication; knitting; Hob getting to be incredibly rude to Dream's mother, and a very happy ending. Could have tagged loads in this square. Special mentions to i have no fear of time / for who knows how my love grows? by @gabessquishytum [E] for pure horny good times most centuries; and also the incomparable Lover, Be Good to Me by @omgcinnamoncakes which I haven't actually read this summer but which hasn't left my brain. The ultimate omegaverse slowburn and healing fic. Wonderful.

18. High School/College au: Dr Hardass and Professor Sweetheart by crimandclove [G] an outsider pov look at Hob and Dream, who are both professors at the same university (and also married, of course, though the protagonist doesn't know it). And by the same author: Coincidence, [T] which is the story of how Dream and Hob met and became friends in high school. Pure nostalgia for me and Hob is such a delightful pov character to follow. Unfinished but with a full synopsis of how the story would have gone.

19. Road Trip: The Blood of Bucephalus by @llflorence [E] no actual roads, but these guys sure go on a journey. Set in ancient times, with shades of Alexander the Great. Except it's king Morpheus and his loyal soldier (and lover) Hob. Featuring Hob being mostly bewildered about what's going on and Morpheus being the most tight lipped monarch in existence. Also featuring a love for horses and Morpheus's unquenchable desire to travel incognito. Written with the same tenderness, intensity and mystery that is Lis's hallmark.

20. New author (<1 year) Coma Dreams by TheTroubleWithTribbles [M] a fic I had to actively search for but very much enjoyed reading. Some domesticity, Dream being caring, Matthew being traumatised, and Hob enjoying an extended trip to the Dreaming. Featuring some laugh out loud moments, Dream with broccoli patterned oven gloves and Hob being free with terms of endearment.

21. Crossover or fusion fic: Half Asleep, Half Waking by @softest-punk [G] again, I could have chosen fics by softestpunk to fill most of the spaces on this grid! Isn't their writing delightful? Such warmth and such range. Something for whatever you're in the mood for. Am in awe. Anyway, this is a crossover between The Sandman and Rivers of London. I didn't know the RoL books, but after reading this I listened to them on audible and came back to the fic. Very enjoyable- thanks, Cecil! Nightingale is my favourite character from RoL and I loved his relationship with Hob. And Hob gently chiding Molly and Nightingale to get their acts together, ha!

22. Superpowers/no powers Au: Here in the Darkness by @cuubism [M] Since we've got one 'super' character, and one 'normal' character in Dreamling, I chose cuubism's reverseverse fic where they've switched around. Good grief, it was good. Hope is a ray of sunshine, eh? He's just going around being lovely and offering hope, and being kind to Morpheus. And then gets captured and treated horrifically for a century. There's plenty of angst, Morpheus being snitty, then depressed, then a vengeful angel and then they get some softness. It's pure cuubism magic: it's fucking brilliant.

23. Only One Bed: The Chase by @imnotcrying-ipromise [M] I followed along with this story as it was being published early last year, and it was a wild ride of emotions and cliffhangers! Not only is there only one bed, there is a hunt across the country, a wonderful yet dangerous connection, and of course, some falling in love. It's such a fun and thrilling tale: a unique concept with a menacing villain. The sense of peril is real: for our canon characters and some lovely ocs we meet, too. And in the quieter moments there is a lot of sweetness and care between Dream and Hob. An excellent re-read this summer.

24: Soulmates: Destined by @arialerendeair [M] I love a good soulmate au, and this is a cracker by Aria. Featuring not one, but two rescues, a number of villains getting their just desserts, and visits to a Greek temple. Hob is, by turns, a bamf and a gentle, considerate man. He's spent 600 years trying to figure out what the letters of his soul mark mean, and when he does... Dream has spent countless years not even knowing he has a soul mark/mate; it takes a severance from the Dreaming to reveal it, and when he finds out...

[cartoonsinthemorning]

I really like your marchil and stancest arts! Do you have any opinions on toudencest (laios x falin)?

Thank you so much! Anon, let's officially connect the suspicious dots, because I ship Toudencest hard, and I do have, in fact, a lot of opinions. Most likely, the unpopular kind. But before I go into my deranged details rant, here, have a sketch.

Ok, let's go! Laios and Falin have the BEST relationship in Dunmeshi. They understand each other like no other does. It was used as a gag, but: the party getting mad at Laios for saying 'hadn't Falin got eaten, they would have never savored the delicious exorcism sorbet'...and Laios thinks to himself Falin would had understood what he meant-- OOHHH that hit my heart so hard!! That scene meant so much to me! It's TRUE. Everyone, even his friends, misunderstand Laios constantly. But Falin would understand him. It's beautiful. It moves me. Another thing that shakes me to the core: Falin is the only one showing genuine excitement about Laios' passions, interests and discoveries. Like, what I mean is, Senshi does share with Laios an interest about making monster's edible, and later on basically everyone in the story gets mind-boggled about how useful Laios' bizarre knowledge can be- BUT! she is the only one that geeks out with him about monsters. And not out of functionality. No, she's genuinely excited about him sharing new knowledge with her. When she's brought back to life and Laios tells her about monster-eating, her first reaction is basically jumping up and down, overjoyed.

And this is so downplayed. How similar they are, in this regard, I mean. Because most people portray Falin as a poised, soft-spoken normal girl, who's got this unhinged monster-fucker as a brother- ahah- and they seem to forget she is HIGHLY weird too, that her interest and methods are VERY unconventional too! Did people miss the flashback episode showing how she did homework in magic school, basically going into wild, forbidden areas to be in direct contact with the creatures living in there, even if it's considered dangerous, almost blasphemous? COME ON, Laios and Falin share the same approach, no wonder they are best friends! People tend to downplay it, I think, because Laios is the one getting gag-worthy reactions from people- getting yelled at, glared at, etc. But in fact, Falin is just as weird as he is. And it's so sweet how that brings them together, even when they are apart... I also think the fandom largely downplays how much of a bro-con Falin is: she was so clingy as a child lmao, but seriously, she was heartbroken when Laios left home without her- and the thing is, you would expect, after she grew up some more and went to study magic, things would change, her priorities would change. BUT NOOOO, no Sir: Laios pops into her life again years later out of the blue and she drops everything to run away with him. GOD that's so ROMANTIC, she is in LOVE, she is down SO BAD for Laios. What would I give for a detailed fan fic about their travels alone together. Sigh. I think I'm gonna end it here because I went well off the rails-- BUT ONE MORE THING!!! When she was a child and she SO PROUDLY bragged how good her brother is at imitating a dog's bark. God. God my heart. her love is so sweet so precious so immaculate so pure. Ok now I'm done for real byeeeee

[possessionisamyth]

Not to kick a dead horse, but there is a way to make Pier's death genuinely very loaded and tragic that fandom consensus just seems to continue to miss! I've never seen a take about Piers's death being about PIERS, but all about "ooohh chris lost a good one" and how the two are not able to fuck anymore. But I am going to free you from these shackles while I zero in on Chris' comment of

"I wanted him to replace me."

Surely Piers was being trained to take Chris' job ideally after a decent retirement party, but neither of them get that luxury because Edonia happens, and Chris is gone. The beloved captain has vanished, and the person who's supposed to take his job is right there, so they give it to him. It's Piers responsibility to not only be a face of what the BSAA represents, but also the heavy shackles of expectations are slapped onto him.

Everyone wants Chris, which means Piers can't be himself nor figure out how to run the same jobs his way. No, it has to be Chris' way. There's no time for anyone to adjust and shift gears either with the C-Virus outbreaks, the terrorist attacks from Ada*(Carla), and the search party he shambled together to locate the missing Redfield. So he tries his damnedest to fill Chris' shoes and suddenly realizes just how out of his depth he is. There were so many reasons people called Chris for certain tasks, even tasks Piers hadn't known about and definitely hadn't been trained on, that Piers never saw. There's no mentor to dial. No reference other than fellow soldiers saying things like, "We don't know how, he just got it done," which is the least helpful thing in the world. Hell, there's barely any notes to go through when he searches Chris' office for a semblance of a hint as to how he should do this job.

Maybe it turns out Chris was doing his best to gently ease that heavy mantle into Piers' hands. It's why his scheduled retirement seemed so far away at the time. Perhaps, after one comment too many where he'd been accidentally addressed by the name of his captain for the 50th time, Piers breaks. He can't do this. He's not ready for this. He needs the one person who did all this back by any means necessary, so he drops all the work and joins the search party. He verbally harasses an amnesiac Chris into coming back because maybe it isn't that bad. Maybe Chris just needs a reminder of what he's been doing everyday for literal years and things would be back to normal again.

But it's not. It's messier. It's uglier. This isn't the Chris he worked so hard to fight alongside. There are glimpses of him in there, but most of the time in China, Piers feels like he's working with a stranger. People die, and Chris keeps pushing forward no matter how much he's shouted at, and Piers feels like this is all his fault. The deaths are his fault because he couldn't buckle down and do what Chris originally wanted him to do. Take Chris' place. Replace him. Be better than him.

So when they go to that underwater facility, and their backs are against the wall, there's the looming sense of failure and a terrifying amount of pressure. If they get out of this alive, who knows when Chris would be back in shape to work again if that ever happens. Piers would have to be responsible. He was already responsible for the squad he gathered to take up this job, and they were skewed into pieces around downtown Lanshiang. Take Chris' place. Replace him. Be better than him, and Piers failed on all accounts. He couldn't get Chris back the way he was supposed to be. His squad was dead. The responsibility he'd have to take up if they made it out alive would be nigh unbearable, and then he gets infected.

He gets infected and suddenly the decision is so easy. To let go. To hope for the best. To be the one left behind when he was supposed to be the one moving towards the future. Another glimpse of the Chris that Piers knew is seen, a more confident glimpse wherein Chris does everything he can to try and save him. And Piers smiles when Chris fails. When he saves Chris. When he seems to finally do one thing right after things never seemed to stop falling apart.

It's the last thing Chris sees. That smile and the ever encroaching weight of immeasurable responsibility that'll grasp him tight as soon as he breaks the surface. The weight Piers couldn't take from him, and maybe never wanted in the first place.

[crazylittlejester]

*points at what you said in Sunny’s ask about hair stuff (which are all wonderful and yes) and Wars bleaching and straightening his hair*

Silly or Hero-warship previous mostly blond heroes gotta look the part perfect soldier image peer pressure whatever? (Basically, silly little guy or sads?) (My brain immediately went to this but it kinda falls apart with some of the others in the chain having different hair colors (which, again awesome, curly hair Rulie and Wind my beloveds) but thought why not ask anyways)

Taking this as a Yap opportunity because it’s been so long since people have sent in asks about my Wars headcanons and I feel like I haven’t gotten to talk about this in a while >:) SO THANK YOU FOR THIS

edit: apologies if theres any spelling mistakes im dyslexic but also just an idiot

So I hc Wars came from a very small village on the outskirts of the kingdom and when he got to Castletown and joined the army things were very different, HE was very different. He didn’t feel like he fit in with them, so he tried his best to force himself to fit in which is why I hc he does a fake accent, a Castletown/British one so people assume he comes from there. The way people view him is very important to him because he worries if they don’t see him through the carefully crafted lens he’s set up for himself to be viewed through, people will not like him or they won’t think he’s worthy or they’ll think he’s pathetic and he can’t handle that. So everything about how he’s constructed and built himself, from his hair to his accent to his walk to his laugh, his smile, voice, posture, all of it is carefully and deliberately crafted so that his image and how he presents himself is consistent, reliable, and “hero worthy”

Him straightening and dyeing his hair was 100% because he saw the heroes of legend and realized he didn’t look like them. I hc the Hero of Time was a huge figure, and one of the most noted heroes in Wars’s era, so little Wars compared himself to that a LOT. (and I also hc he never knew Mask was the Hero of Time because the kid called himself the Hero of Masks because HE didn’t think he could live up to his own title.) He thought if he looked more like what the people of Hyrule envision the great hero to look like in their minds, he’d be taken much more seriously

Of course now, seven years after the war, after he’s had a lot of time to come to terms with things and start to heal, Warriors doesn’t feel the need to look like the other heroes in order to be worthy, and he realizes this before he even meets the others. But NOW he’s stuck because he hasn’t felt like himself or like he KNEW himself at all since he was like 14/15, and he’s nearly 28 now and after over a decade of being in the army or “Hero of Warriors”, he doesn’t really know HOW to be him. He’s not yet at a point where he can fully realize the only thing that’s going to make him happy is becoming himself again, he knows he feels more relaxed when he feels safe but hes not really aware of how much his guard drops and how his act disappears when he’s completely at peace. He feels like he needs to keep playing this character of himself he’s made, and that includes keeping up appearances

He’s getting better about relaxing how strict he is with himself, he’ll allow himself lazy mornings where he doesn’t straighten his hair or do his makeup, but he almost obsessively dyes his hair and that’s the last thing he’ll stop doing, because I hc he looks VERY much like his mother and where he’s at right now, he couldn’t handle seeing that. (I hc his mother is alive, and so are all the sisters i hc he has, and they haven’t seen him since he left all those years ago because he feels like he CANNOT go back because hes so different now and he cannot handle the idea that home wouldnt feel like home anymore because he’s become a monster at war and he wont belong there anymore. He still writes home, and keeps in contact, and he’s seen Linkle (his twin), but he can’t bring himself to see his mother in his own face or just go home until he relearns who he actually is)

*wet cough* sorry for the yap 🥺 i have a lot of thoughts and he’s my special guy and this is how I characterize him in my writing (unless its an au or a specific other thing) so i think about him a LOT

if anyone is interested in this characterization of him heres a link to my main Wars series:

*collapses and dies*

[supernaturalconvert]

Fandom bullying & Misha Collins

After the dust on the weekend has settled, I want to share my thoughts on it hopefully in a bit more collected manner. I am sure I will be accused of creating drama or being biased towards Jared & his fans and frankly I don’t care tbh coz in my book Misha Collin and his gang of bullies don’t deserve any grace. It’s been given for too long and it’s happened too many times to be a mistake. It feels malicious.

I will however say that there are a gang of his fans or supposedly J2M fans who are much more decent than the drama stirrers and they have actually played a positive part in drama not escalating on that side since we know how bad it can get. Of course there were death threats from the fringe (Mark, his sock & the other gang members) but I definitely saw so many of them being called out. Please correct me if I am wrong here.

It was also nice that we were able to piece together evidence of Misha’s lying through the years. Thanks @laf-outloud for it. I saw several people share it on twitter and I am sure some of the hellers if not for anything didn’t say anything after that was shared with them. I am sure that counts for something if we are able to tell as many people as possible that Misha lies. He has gotten away with these things for a long time.

I firmly believe that Misha is the biggest bully and shit stirrer in this fandom. It’s likely that he thought that the fandom was peaceful so may be he should take this opportunity to try and create drama yet again. I don’t put this past him at all. I very much think whether subconsciously or even consciously this might have been his thought. With Jared’s comment he has communicated to Collins that he notices these things that he fosters and if this still happens, then I am sure Jared is going to take action against him in his own way. I personally want Jared to stop doing any photo ops with him for starters. That’s going to hurt him enough to grasp that this bullying gang of his won’t work anymore.

[colduncrustable]

the martin antis working so hard to make waves is so funny. like, you are very much allowed to like/dislike any character you please! but making it your whole personality or acting like you’re cooler for it is a little bit silly. you are not morally or intellectually superior for hating on a fiction character.

not to mention all of the characters in tma are very nuanced and complicated, just like real people (!), and erasing all of that to serve a certain narrative is a complete disservice to the entire body of work. jon and martin’s relationship was never meant to be easy, they first and foremost worked closely together as boss/employee, and in a workplace that was actively putting them in dangerous and horrible situations. the whole point is that they’re both super fucked up but they have each other anyway. they both have flaws, they both have gone through a great deal both with and without each other, but they found love anyway. the idea that the dynamic change in s5 is due to martin just being this villain is so wild? like he’s not a doormat anymore but he also loves jon so fiercely and stands by him over and over again?

jon hated him, jon ignored him, was verbally horrible to him again and again, literally sent him on a dangerous investigation and said if anyone had to die might as well be him, jon accused him of murder, screamed at him, jon was on the run, jon died. martin was his number one defender through everything, even when honestly? he didn’t do a lot to prove he deserved it. but martin was strong in his loyalty and did his best to be a supporter anyway. he picked up extra work, he thought of him kindly when no one else did, he mourned him, and he put himself directly in the line of fire for jon. for everyone, yes, but especially for jon, he says that. because after everything, protecting jon is still his number one priority.

it’s so important to his character that he isn’t s1 martin anymore—that he learns to be a real person who has thoughts and feelings and a backbone. jon wanted that, and does it not say something that they don’t work out until martin learns to have a little bite? there’s a difference between being a real complicated traumatized human person, and just straight up being evil, or an asshole. jon had to learn how to be a lot of softer things but martin had to learn how to square his shoulders and stick out his chin. they had different arcs, and that doesn’t make either of them inherently evil or bad. it makes them real and not perfect and very multilayered, yeah.

martin didn’t handle every choice or action perfectly, he made a lot of mistakes, and he never claims to be the best person ever. but jon also fucked up, a lot. it isn’t a competition or a comparison, that’s really not how that works. but they work because of their flaws. that’s a big part of them fitting together. martin represented the humanity they were saving, with all his good and bad. jon was well beyond that, and while that doesn’t inherently compromise his character, it does mean he’s viewed in a much different light.

(meaning i think jon’s sins are seen very very different to martin’s.) (to be clear i think both deserve to be looked at critically, but hating either of them devoutly seems sort of silly.)

i’m not sure how you can listen to tma and all the ways it dissects and reflects on humanity and turn around and run blogs or make posts in the fandom about how you hate one of the main characters for being all of that.

jon never would’ve made it through without martin, even if martin wasn’t the key to everything, he was the reason to push through and not give up. martin is why jon didn’t go full monster mode, why he held onto who he was and his humanity, even with the whole ‘kill bill’ thing. martin gave him a reason to keep going, to try, to care so deeply. obviously there were other factors but jon says it himself, martin you are my reason.

if you can’t handle the fact that martin isn’t a grade a soft boy by the end of the show that’s a lot more about you than it is about him. he grew and maybe not always for the better but he could be a real person for jon instead of some kind of mirror or blank slate to be reflected on. i genuinely don’t understand how he can be misunderstood so deeply.

they’re both fucked up ! and if they are alive Somewhere Else you bet your ass they’re having long talks and going to therapy and fighting and making up and pacing the floors and figuring it all out together. it isn’t clean or easy or necessarily enjoyable all the time, but humanity isn’t either, love isn’t either. they went through unimaginable trauma, and expecting either of them to be holding it together any better than they already are is wild. context, it’s important. but let’s not turn multi-dimensional characters into flat one word answers.

it’s very human to like and dislike, love and hate based off of bias and experiences and perspective. but also opinion does not make fact. everything is relative, everything is subjective, everything everything everything. it’s an open discussion yada yada idk i’m just screaming into the wall about all the nonsense.

and beyond all of that, discourse is so useless. criticism and constructive conversations are really really important but discourse is pointless! oh you ship these people? well that inherently threatens my ship! oh you like this character that i hate? well that makes me feel invalid for hating them. like what you like, hate what you hate, have your feelings. but if you post shit on the internet you will get people who disagree, sorry, that’s how it is. partaking in little arguments over who is right or wrong when it doesn’t actually have to do with anything harmful or unhealthy makes no sense though. posting on the internet about all the hate you have in your heart when the world is already so full of it doesn’t actually do anything but add more bad to an already very large pile of bad.

things can be discussions not arguments sometimes, i promise. it’s not always tooth and nail, and let’s not forget, most of it is over things that never need to be fought over.

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

i feel like some of the fandom is a bit harsh on Monty... like, trauma is definitely not an excuse, but it does give pretty much all of his actions an understandable explanation?

like... Monty was actively being abused by Esther in practically any scene they were together. he said something she didn't like, and she yelled and grabbed him threateningly. both of the times she transformed him, from crow to human and then back again, she literally stabbed and ripped him up in a really gory way.

i sure wonder why an evil witch's familiar who's constantly treated like that would follow her orders even if he disagreed with them!!

and considering that Esther is potentially one of the only humans Monty came into contact with before meeting the others, and she's like that - he turned out alright, didn't he? he's petty, a bit rude sometimes, and takes things personally, but generally, he's a shockingly decent person.

yes, he didn't take it well when Edwin rejected him. but, as others have pointed out - how was Monty genuinely meant to know any better? he had lived his whole life as a crow in a cage too small for him, where the only person he knew was his extremely nasty and cruel owner. and then, all of a sudden, he's forced into a new body and has humanity thrust upon him against his will. he explicitly expressed this discomfort himself when Esther degraded him for getting "too emotional" for her liking.

"i never asked to be human. with all these... feelings."

even after the bitterness of the rejection, Monty never actually wanted to hurt the Dead Boy Detectives. turns out, he didn't even know that Esther's plan intended to end them completely, and was so horrified upon finding out that he made an attempt to lead them to safety, which was, by the way, putting himself at massive risk. Esther already punished him likely under the assumption that he just didn't put enough effort into manipulating them - can you imagine what she'd have done to him if she knew about his last-minute attempt to actually save them?

of course, i don't think Edwin was wrong for not forgiving Monty. he deserved that. Monty still helped in the scheme that aimed to destroy him. he also fully deserved to reject Monty if he wanted to (conversely, i do also see people say that Edwin "could have handled it better," but honestly, i don't know if it's just me not being neurotypical or something, but i genuinely do not see how Edwin could have been nicer about it? he was straightforward and polite, then afterwards, still tried to be Monty's friend until the betrayal.)

however, Monty was still very much a victim himself, and any harm he did was not from his own will, instead motivated by fear of the terrifying witch who had him fully reliant upon her, often through both verbal and physical force. Esther never hesitated to hurt him. he was painfully aware of that. she didn't care about him beyond how useful he could be. and when he failed at that, her reaction was violent.

but he didn't have anyone else.

[musicalmoritz]

Hey uh ,,, do you have any songs that reminds you of tbhk? Like specific characters or relationships ?? (Also I plan on updating my mitsukou playlist I have for coping reasons so some recommendations on that would be nice) ( little cat ^. . ^ / )

OKAY so a little bit embarrassing but the way I listen to music 99% of the time is by imagining my hyperfixations with whatever I’m listening to so I am the perfect person to ask this question. Fair warning tho my music taste does dabble in basic territory. This is gonna be looooooong so fasten your seatbelts

• Using You by Mars Ago is such an AoiAoi song to me. There’s always one specific ship in a fandom that fits this song perfectly and for TBHK that is 100% AoiAoi

• Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana gives me HakuSumi and Sakuhiko vibes. I lean more towards HakuSumi tho bcuz…well…those of you who know the meaning of this song will get it LOL

• Soooooo many Beetlejuice musical songs remind me of TBHK. I started to make like a whole playlist that told the plot of TBHK through musical theatre songs but I gave up after the Mitsuba arc and it never made it to Spotify. Maybe someday…

• Say My Name from Beetlejuice is obviously very HanaNene coded. And The Whole “Being Dead” Thing is giving Hanako coded. Dead Mom is very Kouded

• I Know It’s Today from the Shrek musical always makes me think of Nene

• Drift Away from Steven Universe…very Yako. Her waiting for Misaki every day before learning he died…oof

• Dear Theodosia from Hamilton Remind’s me of the Minamoto Siblings. With Teru as Burr singing abt Kou and then Kou as Hamilton singing abt Tiara

• Beautiful Boy by John Lennon reminds me of Teru and Kou

• On a similar note, I Wanna Hold Your Hand by The Beatles is soooooooo NeneMei coded. Yes I’m talking abt that scene where Nene asked Mei to hold her hand to trick her in an escape attempt. I think about it often

• Townie by Mitski makes me think of Teru. “I am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be” yeah…

• Ever since I heard HISS by Megan Thee Stallion it has made me think of Teru. I feel like he would be her biggest fan

• Mine by Taylor Swift works so well for any Aoi ship but specifically Aoinene or AoiAoi. “You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter” I mean c’mon her fears surrounding love all stem from her father abandoning her so yeah

• Okay you specifically asked for Mitsukou so I should probably talk abt them

• To me they are so Lana Del Rey core…Video Games…Ultraviolence…the Diet Mountain Dew demo…Summertime Sadness…Yes I know I’m making her most popular songs, hush

• Line Without A Hook by Ricky Montgomery. It’s extra gut-wrenching when it’s from Mitsuba’s pov imo but it works both ways

• Waving Through A Window from Dear Evan Hansen is so Sousuke core

• All of Taylor Swift’s Red album reminds me of them but specifically All Too Well (both versions), Red, Sad Beautiful Tragic, Stay Stay Stay, Begin Again, Better Man, Come Back…Be Here, The Very First Night, and…yeah basically all of Red (Taylor’s Version)

• Northern Downpour by Panic! At the Disco also makes me think of them, this is embarrassingly my favorite song of all time I can’t lie

• Lacy by Olivia Rodrigo is so Aoinene core, yes I have written a fic abt them with that title (a lot of these come from my fic titles ngl)

• Tainted Love by Soft Cell gives me strong Terukane vibes from Akane’s pov

• I Wanna Dance With Somebody and So Emotional by Whitney Houston both remind me of Aoinene as well, basically all of her album Whitney does ngl

• Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks makes me think of Natsuhiko

• Bernadette by IAMX reminds me of Sakuhiko

• She Liked A Boy by Nxdia is very Aoinene coded

• Stupid With Love from the Mean Girls musical makes me think of MeiAoi, specifically the version with No.4 Mei

• Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera is canonically Hanako coded like c’mon we have a whole au for this

• In addition, Think Of Mei is very Nene coded, All I Ask Of You is Mitsukouded, Notes is v Terukane coded, and the title song is so HanaNene

• Valley Of The Dolls by Marina is lowkey Aoi core with the whole “pick a personality” line and the concept of losing your identity as a woman due to the boxes society puts us in

• Gemini Moon by Reneé Rapp reminds me of Kou or Akane (mainly bcuz of the “I could never pick a side” line…bi kings)

• Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra makes me think of HanaNene (any old music does tbh, I have a whole playlist for it)

• Me and My Husband by Mitski is, like, THE Hakusumi song

• There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out by The Smiths is so Mitsukou like “to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die” ?? C’mon

• Violently shaking trying not to name every Fall Out Boy song in existence

• The Pros and Cons of Breathing is SO Aoinene guys (“wish that I was as invisible as you make me feel”)

• Hum Hallelujah could theoretically be Kou

• HOT TO GO! by Chappell Roan is the vibe I have assigned to Minami and Himari

• Stacy’s Mom for Mitsuba’s mother. No elaboration needed.

• You’re On Your Own, Kid by Taylor Swift makes me think of Teru :(

• Lithium by Nirvana reminds me of Akane but also every Nirvana song ever reminds me of Akane, I have assigned Akane to Nirvana

• Whitney Houston’s iconic cover of I Will Always Love You for HanaNene…yes indeed

• Taste by Sabrina Carpenter with Terukaneaoi (Teru sings it to Akane so instead it’s “you’ll just have to taste me while SHE’S kissing you”)

• I have assigned Olivia Rodrigo’s Guts album to HanaNene and Sour to Mitsukou

• Bcuz c’mon, Deja Vu is such a Mitsukou/Soukou song

• Maneater by Daryl Hall & John Oates is Ghost Hotel au Kou and then Maneater by Nelly Furtado is main universe Mitsuba (get it? bcuz cannibalism but also they’re gay-)

• I like the concept of a “maneater” being a gay man and a “womanizer” being a lesbian. Therefore Womanizer by Britney Spears is Mei’s song

• Oops! I Did It Again by Britney Spears is Aoi with AoiAoi

• Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter is Aoimei with OG Mei, Bad Chem is HakuSumi, and Please Please Please is Sakuhiko

• Holding Out For A Hero by Bonnie Tyler is a Natsuteru song I have dubbed it that way

• Landslide by Stevie Nicks is so Aoinene it hurts… “well I’ve been afraid of changing ‘cuz I built my life around you”

• Every Breath You Take by The Police reminds me of Mitsukou from Kou’s pov…my boy can get a little obsessive

• Obsessed by Olivia Rodrigo is THE Sakunene song, especially since Nene thought Sakura was Hanako’s girlfriend when they first met

• Honorable Mention by Fall Out Boy is lowkey Mitsuba like hear me out…or maybe more-so Sousuke

• Their song Pretty In Punk reminds me of both Mitsukou and Hanamitsu

• Two Player Game from Be More Chill is HanaKou and then A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into is Mitsukou

• Part Of Your World from The Little Mermaid makes me think of Nene and then Poor Unfortunate Souls is Sakura (or Tsukasa). Kiss The Girl is HanaNene or Aoinene

• Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer is Terunene, I’m sorry Ik a lot of ppl hate it but I adore them

• On that note of overhated ships I love, Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield reminds me of TeruAoi

• Ooooh and Uptown Girl by Billy Joel is a MeiAoi song

• My Girlfriend Is A Witch by October Country is so Aoimei and Sakuhiko core

• I Fall In Love Too Easily by Chet Baker makes me think of Nene

• I could make a whole separate post abt TBHK and Taylor Swift songs so I’m trying not to yap abt her too much but When Emma Falls In Love also reminds me of Nene. And The Archer is Hanako. And Mirrorball is Akane. And The Lucky One is Aoi. And-

• The Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer is so Mitsukou but specifically the way I write them, you guys have to see the vision (Natsuteru as well)

• Miss You Much by Janet Jackson is lowkey AoiAoi core, ngl I just wanted an excuse to bring up Janet Jackson

• And Escapade by Janet Jackson is Aoinene so real so true

• I have seen ppl attribute Picture You by Chappell Roan to Meinene and I agree. I will add that Casual is Sakuhiko core from Natsuhiko’s pov

• Rock ‘n’ Roll Suicide by David Bowie reminds me of Terukane, both as individual characters and as a ship

• I Know You by Faye Webster is like THE AoiAoi/Terukaneaoi song to me

• Paper Bag by Fiona Apple is Mitsuba to me, trust I will be writing a fic that uses a line from this song as the title (unless it’s already been done before…it’s a very popular song so like that’s possible…)

• Lonely Hearts Club by Marina makes me think of TeruAoi

• Animal Cannibal from Possibly in Michigan fits both Sumire and Mitsuba imo

• No Surprises by Radiohead makes me think of both Teru and Kou

• Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths also makes me think of Kou

• Our Last Summer by ABBA reminds me of the Severance arc in a very bittersweet way, specifically the ending

• Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac fits like so many ships. Hakusumi, Mitsukou, HanaNene…

• Killing Me Softly With His Song by Fugees and Ms. Lauryn Hill makes me think of Sumire/Hakusumi

• I Put A Spell On You by Nina Simone is very Sakura core to me

• Heart Of Glass by Blondie with Mitsuba hear me out hear me out

• Smooth Criminal by Micheal Jackson with Aoi and the amount of times she’s almost died lol

• The Boys Of Summer by Don Henley with Hanako and Kou, or Kou/Yokoo/Satou

• Moon River with HanaNene. Now cry.

• Romeo And Juliet by the Indigo Girls with Aoimei

• Psycho Killer by the Talking Heads with Tsukasa

• And circling back to the musical songs. A Lovely Night from La La Land with MeiAoi

• Fight For Me from Heathers with Mitsukou. Candy Store with Terukaneaoi. Seventeen with HanaNene. Meant To Be Yours with any ship tbh these guys are all insane. Lifeboat with Aoi. Much to think about

• Stars from Les Misérables with Teru. Let me repeat. STARS FROM LES MISÉRABLES WITH TERU. He is so Javert coded Javert my babygirl from my favorite piece of media of all time that literally shaped who I am as a person

• Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift with Sumire

• Also all of the Sweeney Todd musical gives me TBHK vibes with all the cannibalism, I could make a whole au

• Camisado by Panic! At the Disco with Teru

• No Good Deed from Wicked with Hakubo snapping after Sumire’s death…Hakubo my beloved

• Popular from Wicked with Aoinene, What Is This Feeling? with Terukane

• The Confrontation from Jekyll & Hyde with the Yugi twins

• Don’t Rain On My Parade from Funny Girl with Nene

• Suddenly Seymour from Little Shop Of Horrors with Aoinene, AoiAoi, Mitsukou, or HanaNene

• I like to imagine Unlikely Lovers from Falsettos with Aoinene and Terukane

• Two Wuv by Tally Hall with Teruaoinene

• American Beauty/American Psycho by Fall Out Boy with AoiAoi

Okay I’m cutting myself off because the music + hyperfixation brainrot will never end. I hope this was somewhat enjoyable to ya’ll lol ty for giving me the chance to yap abt this

[eirenical]

For the WIP game, laugh??

Well, you just gave me an excuse to post a very belated...

WiP Wednesday

...so, thank you, @thehumantrampoline! ;D

[If anyone else wants to send words for the WiP game, please do! And if you want to try specifying a fandom, you can do so. If it's a fandom I've been in, odds are I have a WiP for it. XD]

Set about 6-12 months after Li Lianhua visits Tianji Hall to impart a little Yangzhouman-healing to Fang Duobing...

[Earlier snippets of this fic in no particular order.]

Li Lianhua put the latest of Xiaobao's letters into the box with the rest and tucked it away.  Most of his letters were much the same: effusive thanks, admonishments to take care of himself, threats against Wuyan's imaginary thieving impulses, offers of hospitality… and now this.

Li Lianhua lifted the box that had come with this latest letter.  He'd ignored Xiaobao's offer of gifts and assistance, because such things hadn't been necessary.  They had their garden, they had his doctoring skills, and Lao Di had numerous accounts that no one in Jinyuanmeng was even aware of, much less would notice if they were utilized.  They didn't want for anything… at least not anything money could buy.

It seemed, however, that Xiaobao was determined to send gifts, regardless of their need or lack thereof.  Li Lianhua slowly opened the box, then sucked in a breath.

The hairpin was delicate silver in the shape of a branch, with little fans of needle-like leaves sprouting from the forked end.  It was delicately made, but had a comforting heft to it, sturdy enough to take some rough handling.  It wasn't the quite the lotus theme he had been thus far drawn to in the hair ornaments he'd worn in this new life, but it was close kin.  Li Lianhua rans his fingers over it, a smile twitching onto his lips in spite of himself.

It was beautiful.

It also wasn't an entirely appropriate gift for a child to give an adult.  The craftsmanship was masterful, the detailing exquisite; it must have cost a small fortune.  And if Li Lianhua wished to spend that kind of money on his hair ornaments, then he would have done.  He didn't need a child picking out his accessories.

…then again, the money was already spent.  So what was the harm?

Later on, as he was making dinner, gentle fingers ran themselves along the new hairpin, where it was threaded through his hair, before drifting down his neck in a gentle caress.  Li Lianhua shivered as those hands were replaced by lips and a hint of teeth.  Just as Li Lianhua was about to put down his knife and forget about dinner for a while, those hands and those lips disappeared, replaced by a low grumble of a voice.

"The hairpin is new."

A pause.

"Fang Duobing?"

Li Lianhua returned to chopping up the vegetables for dinner.  "How did you know?"

"He might have mentioned it one or two letters ago.  Sent a drawing.  Asked if I thought you'd like it."

Li Lianhua snorted out a brief laugh.  "Did he, now.  And you neglected to warn me about this, why?"

Those hands returned, this time wrapping around his middle, A-Fei's body pressed all along his back.  There was still enough of a chill in the air from the last vestiges of winter that Li Lianhua appreciated the heat that came with the cuddling, but it was going to be far more difficult to cook with A-Fei hanging off of him like an octopus.  "That isn't an answer, Lao Di."

A-Fei buried his smile into the crook of Li Lianhua's neck, along with a few scattered kisses.  When he eventually lifted his head, Li Lianhua's own head was spinning just a little, and he'd almost forgotten his own question by the time Lao Di answered it.

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

Li Lianhua took a moment to regather his widely scattered thoughts before responding.  "…why?"

Lao Di stepped back, taking all that lovely warmth with him, as he slowly slid the hair ornament out of his own hair and began to strip off his outer layers.  Li Lianhua found himself shivering again… and not altogether from the cold.  By the time A-Fei had reached the bed and stretched out on it, he was completely, gloriously nude.  He crooked a finger in Li Lianhua's direction, and for just a moment, Li Lianhua had no idea how he was supposed to respond to all of that on display in his bed.

Then A-Fei smiled.  "Don't you want the rest of your present?"

…maybe he could get used to surprises.

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Ticci-Toby Headcanons: A Very Unstable Yandere (Creepypasta) (Kinda)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with a new chapter! I hope that you all enjoy this chapter here, my muffins!] 

(Disclaimer 1: For The most part Ticci-Toby is no longer considered a part of the creepypasta fandom. The original creator (All credit to them) asked that they, do not want Toby associated with it anymore. This is when he was part of the creepypasta fandom and is not the Ticci toby that he has become. So this is not the creator canon Ticci Toby but an alternate universe Ticci Toby (Kind of like a mult verse of sorts) 

Disclaimer 2: In This Ticci Toby is 30 in this because he was born in 1994 (So in the year 2024) he is 30

Disclaimer 3: Ticci Toby is not yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you!) 

-Base Yandere Headcanons with Ticci Toby From If He was Still part of the Creepypasta Fandom- 

.Ticci Toby is a hyperactive man and very energetic. 

.This carries over to how he is super energetic around you and excited to be around you. 

.He always is full of energy around you and loves to hang out with you. 

.He fell for you right away when he met you, which was when he was on a job for Slenderman. 

.Meeting you was just a chance but he became obsessed with you right away. 

.He is the type of yandere that would be very unstable and would be on the edge of snapping with mass murder or on the edge of snapping and kidnapping you! 

.He has PTSD So does not like cars, and he does not like driving in cars. He would purposely fuck up your car to keep you from driving in it. 

.He is irrational with this but he does not want you to ever be in a car or bus. 

.He lost his sister and he is not willing to lose you so it is very likely that he would kidnap you!'

.He is going to stalk you as well. 

.Making sure that you are safe and sound and that you are taken care of. 

.He does meal prep in your home for you. 

.Helps keep your house clean and taken care of and make sure that your fridge is always filled. 

.It of course would be freaking you out, that someone you do not know is taking care of you?

.Yup he is pretty much a stalker house husband. 

.He has been known to care for some very few people and of course, you are very much the person her cares about and loves the most. 

.So he would want to take care of you. 

.But he takes his bipolar disorder as a yandere to the extreme (fun fact I am I have bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, Borderline personality disorder, OCD, and so on, so I can see how relatable Toby is as a character and I say he takes his bipolar disorder as a yandere in the sense I know how my emotions flip so fast with bipolar and BPD (Borderline personality disorder has faster mood swing changes than a bipolar disorder to be honest Bipolar disorder is more so with mania and lows from high energy to low lows of not even get out of the bed, the more you know!) In which they go from one end to the other. 

.When he is super active and energized he can seem more upbeat and more willing to be patient with you. 

.But when he is having the low mood swings he can be a moody little bitch that is cruel and sadistic. saying very sarcastic things. 

.He can have mood swings that are more similar to borderline personality disorder where they change very rapidly and can switch like a flip of this switch

(again this is from my personal experience with both mental illnesses that rapid mood swings rarely happen with bipolar disorder (though not impossible) but more so the rapid mood swings tend to happen with borderline personality disorder. (Again this is not always the case I am not a doctor and it takes more symptoms than just mood swings to be diagnosed with either of these mental illnesses and some people just be emotional messes with no mental illness at all!) 

.His moods with his darling in particular can go from lovely dovey and sweet to very paranoid and that you are seeing someone else. 

.His schizophrenia (Again I feel this) makes him a very paranoid yandere. 

.Which with you may make him think that you are cheating on him with anyone and everyone! 

.with rivals it makes him think that anyone and everyone could be a rival and makes him really on edge. 

.This would make him stalk you even more! He has to make sure that you are not cheating on him and that no other man, woman, or other people are trying to get into bed with you. 

.Back to his mood swings, they can switch so fast and it makes him very unstable as a yandere. 

.Where he can be laughing with you, but then demanding why you looked at the cashier in the store 5 seconds too long 

.You like him, don't you? You are secretly sleeping with him, aren't you? 

.The mood swings with his schizophrenia make him so unstable! 

.He can go again from lovely dovey and possessive to demanding and controlling. 

.He tries his best to be a good partner to you, but he is not working to change these things, he continues on with how he acts and such. 

.It does work for you as well as a darling because once you notice his patterns with how he reacts you can play with his emotions to manipulate him and calm him down. 

.Of course, if you do not do it right it can backfire and he will say you and messing with him. 

.It is a risky game to be playing with a yandere like him that is for sure. 

.He is very much a troublemaker and a chaos gremlin. 

.He will cause a lot of minor trouble for rivals. Simple things like pranks in their house, but since he is unstable it can get to the point where he slams a hatchet into their brains.  .With rivals he can be chill with them for a good part of time, but of course, he can act out and go on a murdering spree. 

.He is the type of yandere that if he has a bad day and is pushed too much will commit mass murder with ANY AND ALL RIVALS

.He is actually a very protective yandere as well, if you had anyone who hurt you a bully, an abusive family member, anything really. He will kill them and torture them before he puts them out of their misery. 

.He had an abusive father and since you are the person he cares for he does not want anyone to harm you. 

.He would protect you from even slenderman. 

.He would do everything to keep you safe. 

.Once again he was stalking you. He is getting to know everything about you. 

.He would also leave you gifts and presents for you. 

.He wants you to know that he loves and cares for you. 

.He can be a very dotting yandere. 

.He would eventually start to worm his way into your life, since he is 30 years old he actually wants to settle down. 

.So he has been doing his best to be a stalker house husband, but slowly work his way into your life so that he can be in your house with your knowledge. 

.He also is a bit insecure though he is energetic and very open about how interested he is with you, how attractive he thinks you are, and how he compliments you a lot. 

.He has issues with how he looks, and sometimes his tics and such. Even though they are just mainly the popping of joints. 

.With you as his darling he would feel he would have to be up on your level and that he is not good enough for you. 

.He might even lash out that he would never be good enough for you and how it is not fair.

.and last time on the anger and happy mood swing. 

.This does affect how he treats you as well. 

.In which he can be so happy with you, but since the mood swings are so bad a lot can set him off to be angry. 

.Although that anger is rarely directed at you. 

.He is the type of yandere that blames rivals, and your friends, families, roommates, anyone really. 

.So he would for sure at some point kidnap you. 

.May it be for your protection or for you to love him it could be either of those. 

.Now how he would confess to you, remember this is when he wormed his way into your life. 

.He would confess to you over dinner, doing his best to look his best and wear his best clothes. 

.If you accept his love he will be the happiest he has ever been and so excited that he leaps up from the seat to smooch you. (This would be your guy's first kiss) 

.If you turn him down he is shattered and you know he is going to knock you out. 

.He would think one of two no three things. 

.One someone was poisoning your mind against him so he has to seclude you so he can make you understand your feelings. 

.I almost forgot to mention because he is schizophrenic he is a very delusional yandere. 

.Hearing voices and such telling him that you love him and that you needed to be protected at all costs, even from yourself. 

.So yes, once again a very delusional and canoically insane man and that affects how he would be as a yandere. 

.The Second reason he might kidnap you is thinking that you are in love with someone else. 

.So he has to protect you and keep you away from people trying to steal you away or hurt you. 

.And the last one, he is angry, yup one of the few rare times he would be angry at you and he has to teach you to love him. 

.Cause clearly you have had too much freedom and he is going to make sure that you learn to be a good darling for him. 

.Of course, this is if he did not kidnap you before confessing. 

.If he did kidnap you before confessing he would confess to you when you woke up. 

.If you accept his love in that way he will let you have more freedom in the creepypasta mansion 

.He got slenderman to let you stay and slenderman made sure everyone knew not to hurt you. 

.If you turn down his love well you are at stage one, which has you chained to the bed, by an ankle chain where you have limited freedom, can still reach the bathroom and such. But you will have to earn his trust to give you freedom. 

.Also he is going to be doing everything can to make you fall in love with him, and he will most likely make you fall in love with him, where you are basically dependent on him for anything and everything. Good luck! 

.This is what you would be like if he confessed before kidnapping and you rejected him at the dinner. Then he kidnapped you and you have the ankle chain. 

.You will for so long be only able to see him that you will crave his companionship just as much as him. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs, another chapter is done! This one is (minutes the disclaimer and info on mental illness is over 1,600 words. I hope that you all enjoyed, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

[eri-pl]

Liking the Silm while being Polish feels strange.

Or at least maybe because I'm old and I had to read many books in school and I have this mental image of Poland (not poiltically! but in terms of literature, poetry, some philosophical vibe) as this fuzzy hybrid between "Soviet Russia" and "normal world", and Russia is, in relation to the legendarium, very particular. They are the Easterlings, we are the Easterlings, we are the orcs or not much better.

And there's that whole thing with Russia being the center of what I would call "subversive Tolkien fandom", things like hardcore Dark Lord fans, things like The Last Ringbearer and as I recently learned "The Black Book of Arda is a thing" and I keep wondering: is this because of the "you are the Easterlings" feeling that Tolkien gives people, or is it because something bigger in the cultural vibes (Bułhakov!!!) or is it both. Or some other cause that is the root cause of all those above (communism, maybe? In this case, again, we hera in Poland are also touched by the Shadow ;) )

And I have this dizzy, disorienting feeling where I can see both, it just depends on what you map to what.

At the end of the day I like Tolkien and respect his intent (mostly), because I feel like he tried to respect people and did not intent to paint East europeans as evil, it just sort of happenned, but if you asked him, he would protest on that reading.

(And I do like most of what he was trying to do. This too.)

But yea, my geographic location and set of lectures in high school is part of how I explain to myself why I do like Morgoth despite him being quite objectively unlikeable. Probably falsely. Still, it is interesting.

Also I am still a little mad for making the Easterlings the bad guys. And for a few other things. But it's ok. Also at least we have Bór. Also we'll see.

Anyway it feels strange sometimes.

[shiraishi--kanade]

Last coherent post of the day (I think) and it's just something I wanted to talk about it for a long time and couldn't quite piece but. How do I put it. I feel like there's this very specific An Shiraishi mischaracterisation going on in a part of a fandom that likes Kohane but dislikes An (valid) and/or also dislikes Anhane that I just can't wrap my mind around.

I wish this was an isolated occurrence, but people have actually been rotating the WTWG-like general mischaracterisation for a while. There's this weird idea that An is pushy or forceful with Kohane, or makes Kohane do things she doesn't want to, or is overwhelming or explosive in her emotions, too mean, etc, that makes Kohane uncomfortable.

And you know what? It could be an interesting idea. It could be an interesting thing to explore. Unfortunately the way it's mostly written just completely removes Kohane's agency from the situation, just like it does with WTWG.

Because An is the most pushy, forceful, inconsiderate & overexcited in the Main Story. She is also all of these things in Singing in Sync, which she (partially) gets called out for. This is a character flaw that exists, but even though An tones it down significantly literally in her next focus event (as she becomes gradually more withdrawn and avoidant of her feelings, to the point of actually being ashamed of them), you have to keep in mind that this is something about An that Kohane accepts, if not outright enjoys.

There was a moment in VBS main story where Kohane reconsiders becoming a singer, and it's A Lot of things a lot of people let fly over their head, but even all of that aside - Kohane had the full opportunity to a) forget the entire thing happened at all b) if she wanted to, come back to be a solo singer.

She doesn't do the last part because it was An who gave her something to reach to in the first place and because she just genuinely likes An Shiraishi as a person, even though she does recognise her partner is far from perfect.

[illustrated above: a hint that Kohane knows and is aware of the fact An struggled with accepting Kohane as her equal]

Regardless of what you think about those two, you have to recognise Kohane had the agency to do whatever she wanted, and she wanted this.

You can't write them as if Kohane's a perpetual victim or as if An is forcing Kohane to go along with her all the time. The latter happens occasionally (mostly in minor ways too), but Kohane is not incapable of standing up to herself, and if she didn't want to sing with An (who, again, is the reason Kohane is who she is today & who Kohane is grateful towards, but let's forget that for a minute and pretend it's not important), she would not just stand and do nothing about it. She would not let An mistreat her! If you don't acknowledge this, then I just have to ask, do you actually like Kohane or not? Because you seem dead set on making her weaker and less confident than she is actually shown to be.