#again. we will see what else i might want to do with her. maybe ill make a poll about it.

[sternenhimmel-mond]

Totally forgot that a dialogue option for Enthir involved him calling himself an Altmer. Babe you're a Bosmer.

"So they were like your kind?" (Very racist of our LDB)

"Like the Altmer? Yes, I would say their culture quite possibly rivaled out own." Said the Bosmer.

Clearly Bethesda had other plans for him originally.

[saiidahyunie]

ballroom extravaganza

minatozaki sana x f!reader || cont. of fake and true ! pt.3 here

synopsis: you scored the date with the girl from the bar, things are shaping up for the better (maybe/maybe not), and your cousin mina is starting to raise some suspicions.  

warnings: fluff ; smut!! ; sana giving/recieving ; reader recieving/giving ; fucking in the car/office/bedroom (freaky deaky) :D ; sana being needy ; sana praising ; cursing ; anything else i didn't let y'all know ; might be proofread

a/n: dang y'all really like sana don't ya? (bias wrecking me ill never recover) hope you guys enjoy this second part as much as the first one!

you’re basically jumping out of your own skin when you hear the knock on your door, and twirl around to see the bedside clock. 

8:29 

a minute early. you’d be impressed to keep the hefty lunch in your stomach to not vomit it out. 

“coming!” you cry out, before taking a second to fuss with your current appearance. you played it simple, the flashiest part of the red dress that shuhua loaned you. like the black one, it’s slim-fitting and short, the neckline cutting above the swell of your breasts. your lips are a stained deep red, just to match. tzuyu always said to you that the color was striking for you to pull off. 

after straightening the dress, you step out of your room and walk towards the entryway of the door, taking a second to toe on your black pumps. and then, with a steady exhale, you open the door. 

sana stands on the other side of it, one hand in her pocket of your black slacks and the other carrying a bouquet of roses that she promptly shoves at your chest. you take them, cradling to your body, and look up to find her already gazing at you, eyes raking from the top of your head and down. again and again. 

“hey.” 

“hi.” you smile at her. “these are really beautiful, thank you.”

sana jerks her head in acknowledgement, and you can see the faintest flush of pink spreading to the tips of her ears. you bite your lip as you set the flowers down, staving off the rare urge to giggle. 

she’s still standing by the door, holding her arm out. “so are you ready to go?” 

you take it, curling a hand around her bicep, letting her lead you out. “please.”

—

“alright,” sana says, laying her menu flat on the table, staring at you with grave seriousness. “speak.” 

“huh?” you look away from the giant, crystal chandelier hanging above you two. the restaurant she’d take you to was only slightly less fancier than the one at the four seasons hotel. 

slightly. 

“i can tell you want to say something.” 

you smile nervously. “yeah, about your driving, maybe. i thought we were gonna—” 

“y/n.” she says firmly; it has the same affect as dumping a bucket of ice water over your head. “no bullshit. you might as well say what you wanna say.” 

“fine.” and this is easy to sink into, your mode of no-nonsense: the compartmentalization of what stresses you. “why did you give me the money?” 

“because i wanted to.” 

“i know, but why? did you feel bad for me?”

“a little.” 

you grit your teeth. “did you pity me?” 

“no.” 

“then what?” 

“i’ve been in your position before. kind of.” 

“what do you mean.” 

“struggling college student, a shitty job, caming from harebrained ways to get money. everyone who’s gone on the path to grad school, doesn’t matter if it’s med, law, blah blah blah whatever, knows how fucking hard it is to survive.” 

your cheeks flush from sana’s words, picking at the white table cloth. “so you empathized with me?” 

“basically.” sana says, sitting back in her chair, smiling at you. your eyes follow along the lazy draw of it. “i didn’t expect you to be so difficult about it.” 

“it’s not like it’s common to give strangers hundreds of dollars within an hour of meeting them. forgive me for being concerned.”

“do you still want to give the money back to me?” sana asks. 

“yes.” 

“okay. then let’s change the subject.” diverting to the basic cookie cutter icebreaker in existence. “what are you majoring in?” 

“sana—”

she reaches across the table and grabs your hand, squeezing it slightly. dazzling brown eyes swallow up your field of vision as she leans into you. “what are you majoring in?”

you bite your tongue. you don’t want to relent into sana’s charms; mina would have your head if she knew that sana was running away with it. but she’s making it so so easy, smiling when you answer, “i’m finishing up my bachelor’s in child education. aiming to get my masters in child’s psychology.”

“you like kids?” 

“yeah,” you reply, visibly softening to sana. “last summer i did my internship at a local kindergarten and i love it. kids are…easy in a way that people aren’t.” 

“what do you mean?”

“they don’t expect anything from you. not anything beyond food or water or playtime. you know, nothing super sophisticated or adult. and they’re easy to talk to. they don’t care what you say to them or if you don’t talk much in general. they’re not judgy and it’s nice.” you hit that right out of the ballpark, and sana stares with lips parted as the facts are laid out for you. 

“i’ve never thought about them that way,” she says, her hand shifting atop your own. her thumb skims across your knuckles. “it sounds nice.” 

your heart thrums like a hummingbird against the walls of your chest. every languid caress pulls a shiver from you. “you don’t like kids?” 

“i don’t dislike them. i’m neutral, i guess. i know i’d like to have my own.” sana replies. 

“do you have any siblings?” 

“nope. i’m an only child.”

“i would’ve never guessed,” you say dryly. 

“ha! has anyone told you you’re funny?” sana inquires, and you’re stifling a laugh while she’s smiling at you, gaze fond. “what about you?” 

“well, i’m an only child.” you reply. normally you’d leave it at this. you don’t really like the notion of getting into the nitty-gritty of your past, but sana’s presence robs any reticence from you. “my parents passed when i was younger so i was raised by my aunt and her cousin.” 

“oh.” sana slips her fingers into the spaces of your own and squeezes gently again. “i’m so sorry.” 

“it’s okay,” you say, smiling awkwardly. “it happened when i was little. i’m kind of accustomed to it now.” 

“can i ask you a question?” 

“a personal one?”

the corner of sana’s mouth quirks. you want to trace it with your fingers.

“if you were in that desperate of a situation, why didn’t you ask her for help?” 

“i can’t afford to take any money from my aunt or cousin. she can’t afford it.” 

“did you try asking?” 

“i’m not saying she would’ve said no. but if she tried, i wouldn’t have accepted it.” 

“sounds startlingly familiar.” 

you pull your hand from hers with a smile and an eye roll before picking up the menu in front of the table, raising it up high enough to cover sana’s face. 

“can we order something now?”

—

when you get back in the car, you’re warm, languid with a stomach full of risotto and red wine. sana’s hand rests on the gear shift between you, the other one on her wheel. you like watching the motion of them as she drive, like the curls of sana’s knuckles and the rasp her palm makes against the wheel when she turns it. you wish to feel the warmth of it against your leg. 

well, in a city like new york, it’s nothing more than unpleasant. 

“you know i wasn’t kidding when i told you that you’re a horrible driver.” 

“do you own a car, y/n?” 

 “i usually take the subway.” 

“okay. pro-tip if you ever do drive in these streets, better to be offensive than dead. or stuck in traffic for two hours. which, believe it or not, is fucking worse.” 

but despite sana’s words, she seems to listen to you. the drive stretches longer, and you lean into the plush leather seats as you stare out the window, dreading the sight of every familiar building, the street signs that you know lead to your apartment. for a moment, you debate asking to get ice cream, or go to the park, a movie theater–-anything and everything to extend this. you don’t want to leave the pleasant warmth of her car. 

“y/n?” 

you look over to see her smile. “i thought you were asleep.” 

“i’m not tired.”

she takes her hand off the gear shift, thumbs a lock of your hair without breaking your gaze. unwavering. 

“neither am i.” 

when she pulls into your squat, little apartment complex, you’re gripping the edge of your seat, nails squeaking against the buttery leather. she smoothly pulls into an empty space, parking backwards—what a show off—-before turning to you. with as huddled into the seat as you were, her hand is behind the headers, arm bracketing you, you feel consumed. surrounded by her scent, in her car, the engine humming beneath them, with her so close. you can’t breathe without inhaling her.

sana’s noticed it too. her eyes have gone dark, swallowed by her pupils. 

“i had fun,” she says. 

“me too.” 

her mouth twitches. “you gonna try giving me the money back now?” 

you jolt at the reminder, bending to snatch you purse, but sana’s hand flies from her headrest to your hand, hot over your knee.

“i was kidding. i don’t want it back. i don’t need it.”

“sana—” 

“y/n.” she interrupts firmly. “i don’t need it. and in my opinion, i think you can do a hell of a lot more.” 

your defenses waiver before they crumble completely, and you feel your chin wobble. to your horror. “you’re too nice to me.” 

she grabs it, pressing her thumb into the plush of your bottom lip. your stomach clenches as sana’s eyes flicker down, anticipation making your headlight. 

“i don’t think i’m nice enough,” she whispers, but it barely registers. you’re already reaching for her, mouth open to beg; hand on her wrist, and she meets you half-way, swallowing your muted please. 

sana’s kiss is desperate, intense like the rest of her. one hand buried in your hair while the other presses against your knee, a searing, overbearing heat that sinks into your insides, coiling tingly in the pit of your gut. despite your furious protestations to tzuyu, you haven’t felt this in a while, the wet-warmth of another mouth against your own, the life of someone else’s tongue, opening you up further. 

you press closer, so frantic you almost climb over the armrest, but sana pushes you back down to your seat. she breaks away from your mouth to kiss down the line of your throat, flicking her tongue out to taste your overheated skin, smiling when you sigh. your hips jerk beneath her hold when she sucks at your pulse point. 

she grins, teeth nipping at your jawline. “you like that, sweetie?” 

there’s a shock-wire running from the heat of her mouth to her clit. sana’s barely touched you and you’re already keyed-up, on the cusp of euphoria. if you touched yourself now, you’d be so far gone, but you’re not sure she’d let you.

sana returns to kissing your throat, pausing to suckle at it with teeth and tongue, laving it against your skin in soft, wet strokes. she uses the hand in your hair to tilt your neck towards her, directing you like a puppet on strings. her other hand roves up and down your exposed thigh in gentle motions, more exploratory than anything, as if she can’t keep from touching you. and the thought sends a jolt of electricity to pass through you, sparking between your legs. it makes your hips can’t, makes the desperate need for friction a burying, voracious thing, primed to consume you. 

when she kisses the swell of your bottom lip, it comes out of you in a breathless pant, nails biting the seat. “p-please touch me.” 

“where?” sana asks, thumbing the hem of your dress, close enough to be a physical pain. “where, baby? here?”

“n-no.” 

“then where, y/n?” your eyes are black, eager with predatory intent, and you hate how much you love it; the consuming weight of her attention, like she wants to eat you whole. 

without much coronation, you take sana’s hand and shove it between your thighs, spreading them wide. you’re initially afraid that she’ll keep teasing you, that she’s lost in the power trip, but she surprises you when she groans and kisses you roughly, fingers tracing up your slit. 

“so fucking wet you are,” sana raps when she breaks away, almost crazed. she dips her hand beneath the waistband of your panties, the sensation of her fingers against your sensitive skin sending your eyes rolling. your hips buck, demanding delicious friction, and she surges in, laughing into your mouth. 

“you can cum just like this, can’t you?” she asks, voice rumbling against your cheek. her thumb slides up and down the seam of your cunt, the heel of her palm adding the barest pressure to your clit, but it’s good. the mere taste of it almost enough to send you over the edge, just for the sweet torture. 

her knuckles pull against the gusset of your panties as two of her fingers center over your clit. her pace at first is light, slow, exploratory like the way it’d been on your leg. her eyes on your face are focused. she wants to know what’ll take you to the edge, and you know it isn’t this. so you grab sana’s wrist and raise your hips to force pressure. 

“faster,” you pant, liquid gaze cutting to her. “h-harder. i like it–” 

she steals the words from you, kissing again with a mouth full of bite. the motions of sana’s fingers quicken, slide down to the tease of your e trance while you grind frantically into her palm. you’re so wet you easily accept the glide of her first finger, and when she pushes in the second, the stretch is sweet, a welcome thing. you thrust onto them, wishing vainly that she’d toss you into the backseat and fuck you with something more.

the thought makes you clench around her, and she curses loudly, burying her face into your sweaty neck. 

“are you always this depsrate when you’re getting fucked?” sana hisses, thrusting her fingers into you harder, without relent. “you always feel this good?” 

you choke out a sob, feeling the familiar swoop in your belly, the swelling tide that welcomed euphoria. as you clutch her wrist, chasing it, sana rests her head atop your shoulder, her voice going soft, reverent. 

“you’re so good, y/n,” she says in a frantic stream, mad with want. “so good. so, so fucking good. my perfect girl.” 

you keen when it washes over you, that white-hot heat that robs you of sense. you shudder beneath sana’s grip, clutching her wrist as you ride it out. she helps you come down from it, kissing you languidly and keeping her pace inside you slow. when you can breathe again, she pulls them out of you. you flush hotly when she sticks her fingers in her mouth, but the embarrassment doesn’t linger long. you surge toward her, hands flying towards the button of her pants. meets her in another frantic kiss.

“i wanna make you feel good now,” you whisper, palming her. “i want—”

sana uses her hand in your hair to bind you up against her and kisses you again, long and full enough to make the words melt from your tongue. you’re hazy when she pulls away, pliant. 

“i think,” she says. “that there’s always next time.” 

“next time?”

“next time,” sana repeats, rubbing your cheek with her thumb. “it’s late anyway. you should go to bed.” 

“oh,” you say blankly. “okay.”

sana kisses you again, twice on your nose, before leaning over to open your door. you stumble out of her car, binding your purse tight against your chest. you wave at her from the entrance of her building before you step inside, and see the shadow of sana’s hand as she waves back, driving off. when she turns onto the street, you rush inside, a hot, sharp balloon swelling in your chest. 

your hands shake when you slot the key into your door and turn the knob, switching on the lights. you kick your shoes off and toss the purse onto the couch, moving on muscle memory. you can’t think beyond the warm, floaty haze that’s clouded your mind, and when you shut the door behind you, you laugh. 

over and over. carelessly. all the while remembering the firm grip of sana’s hand and the scent of her, clogging your nose even now, a smell you want to bottle up and keep. 

next time, you think, giddy, nearly dancing in the small space. she said there’d be a next time. 

just then, you hear the high trill of your phone and dart to the couch, yanking open your purse to fish it out. you flush a pink when you notice the notification next to sana’s name– a text that reads, goodnight- and as you go to type your response, another notification pops up. one from venmo. 

a cold spike of adrenaline shoots through you when the app opens, fingers trembling. you almost drop your phone entirely at the number attached: $1,000 dollars. 

“for school,” it reads. 

your breath quickens. the hot balloon in your chest expands and expands until it pops, a physical pain against your ribcage.

i thought— your eyes burn. the realization sinks into your like molasses. i thought she—

the night you met sana, she expressed concern when she learned why you were there. she’d condemned jihyo and implied that you deserved something more, something better. she’d left you money as a gift, to be kind. 

a gift, sana told you. you don’t owe me anything. 

so why is it, then, that you have the distinct impression that jihyo had been simply outbid. 

—

you’re thinking about next time. sana said that there’d be a next time. 

that next time would come, then twice.

then a third.

and after.

the day after that, and the day even after that. 

the room is reverberating the echoes around you, loud with the sounds of heavy pants and wet slaps of skin. you’re clinging to the sheets beneath you, pushing yourself up, moving your hips to meet the frantic pace of sana's fingers curled up inside you. sana then buries a hand into your hair and hitches you up for a kiss that never takes. it’s broken quickly, leaves both of your swollen mouths parted and breathing of each other’s oxygen. you’re relishing the intimacy of the moment. 

when the building pressure at the base of your stomach grows to become too overwhelming, you fall back on the mattress, unmoored without sana’s presence, but she follows you as she always does. she’s binding her arm around your waist and raises you up, hand cupping your cunt while she’s all over your neck again. 

“c’mon,” sana says, voice wrecked, torn from her. “c’mon, honey, one more.” 

you gave sana the opportunity to sit on her face earlier, brown eyes flashing dark and predatory at you while you grind all over her mouth. the hot curl of her tongue relentless against you, reducing you to a living nerve ending. sana wrung out two splintering orgasms out of you, flipping you on your back before you could even recover. you loved it, and you still do, seeing all the ways that you can challenge sana. 

her slender fingers dip down to your clit again and causes you to moan loudly, rocking into her as she circles it firmly: rough, fast motions that she’s learned that you love. to bring you back to that edge quick. 

sana kisses you again, her other hand slipping to your breast above and squeezing. she’s groaning into your core, it’s making you fall deeper into the madness of your situation. 

“you’re so—” she barely mumbles out, her hand on your breast slides down to clamp the divot in your hips. sliding the pillow under the arch of your back in one seamless motion. she’s too good with her hands. “fucking unreal, and perfect.” 

her mouth against your other mouth starts the chain reaction. you’re moaning out more strain behind it. a star-burst of affection igniting in your chest. sana continues to swipe her tongue, the unyielding pressure that makes your vision swimmy, and you let go. 

you’re sobbing out while your hands are trying to find what’s left of the comforter as ecstasy steals over you. sana continues to drive her fingers and tongue into you, letting you feel it: in the air, at the base of your throat, between the rapid, uneven pacing of thrusts from her fingers. when you’re all tuckered out, the clenching fading out from your cunt, soaked with slick while it gets on different parts of your skin; from the leg, to one of your obliques, to the small peak of your boob. 

“o-okay, that’s e-enough.” 

“you taste so fucking good,” sana murmurs, mouth hot against the column of your neck. her hands trailing up and down your stomach. “when you clench around my fingers is just—” 

fucking shit this woman. “sana, please.” 

she sits up with a chuckle, and you’re at the same level too, instantly resting your head on her shoulder, kissing it. sana wraps her arm around your waist, kissing the top of your head, her fingers are tapping away at the v-line. you look up and she kisses you, grinning with delight. 

“will you stay over?” you ask, too plaintive when she pulls away. sana’s smile falters and you feeling the realization, disappointment inbound. 

“i can’t.” a spike lances through you. “my department has a meeting early in the morning. i can’t skip.” 

“oh.” you hate yourself for being upset—she’s a doctor, of course she’s busy—but the feeling rises up anyway, along with the insidious notion that she’s gotten what she wanted and so has little use for you now. without thinking, you start to drift away from sana in slow little increments that she catches, and she pulls you up tight against her, pressing her lips to your hairline. 

“i wish i could say,” sana whispers. “if it were up to me, i’d be here with you everyday.” 

the words are cruel, considering what they are–what you are—but the pain is stamped down. masking it with teasing. “how would you work then?” 

“i’m sure my supervisor could find someone else to fill my place. someone as equally ecstatic to dig their hands into some guy’s intestines.”

“you’re so…casual when you talk about your job.” you say out of respite. 

“are you worried?” sana asks. 

“no.” answering while tracing fingers across sana’s chest, over her still-racing heart, before tapping her chin. “but it makes me wonder if i should be.” 

“is the child psychology major going to psychoanalzye me right now? when i’m twenty-nine years old nearing thirty?” 

“you know the issues of childhood can be far-reaching. you never stop feeling the effects of it.” 

“incredible.” you laugh when sana dips her head and takes your finger in her mouth, biting it gently. “but i’ve always been this way.” 

“which is?” 

a half-feral grin spreads across sana’s face before she abruptly flips you over. you yelp into her mouth as she kisses you, long and slow, and settles over you. she breaks away, still grinning. “crazy about you.” 

you’re flushing hotly, which makes her bark out a delighted laugh, and sana kisses you again. over and over and over. her lips trail from your fluttering eyelids to the tip of your nose to your chin, every nook and cranny of your face that she can reach. when her lips meet yours again, you can taste the sugar on her tongue.

“god, i wish i could stay,” sana rasps, breaking away, and you cling onto her. 

“then stay.” 

“if i did, i’d have to leave at 5 to get ready at my apartment in order to be at the hospital on time. also you have an early class tomorrow. chances are i’d wake you up and you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.” 

your jaw tightens, and teeth catch your tongue. you don’t want to accuse sana of making excuses, because you know she’s right; it’s happened before. and that’s what burns you, the idea that your angst could have no standing. the operating off of your injured feelings and nothing substantial. this is transnational after all. 

“okay.” you say, coolly. “guess this is goodbye then.” 

“bye y/n.” sana says, kissing your mouth. “goodnight.” 

sana kisses you several times, smothering you in affection. she only stops after you simple, nipping at your nose once before rising off the bed. you watch as sana peels away off the bed, walking around your room, picking up her clothes from the floor and pulling them on. when she’s done, she strides over to you and slides a nick of your hair back, kissing your forehead. 

“i’ll call you tomorrow, sweetheart.” 

“okay.” 

sana ducks down, skating her nose along the edge of your hairline, keeping her mouth close to your ear. “i’ll see you later.” 

you move your head and catch sana’s lips. against them, whispering. “mn, see you later.” 

you notice with some satisfaction that sana’s eyes are fevered as she pulls away, dark with wanting, and you shove your face back into the pillow, clinging to it. sana mutters a soft curse and makes her way to the door, only to immediately jam the knob when she goes to close it. she mutters a curse again, much louder. 

“just give it a little wiggle,” you say, sitting up. “it gets a little tight sometimes when you twist it.” 

“how long has it been like this?” 

“since i got the apartment.” 

“what the fuck?!” sana exclaims. “did anything else come broken?”

“sometimes the water pressure in my shower is really low.” 

“jesus christ, y/n.” sana says again, louder, angrier. “why haven't you told your landlord?” 

“trust me, i have.” you say shrugging your shoulders. “if i said anything more than that he’d just shut off the water entirely.” 

sana sounds pressed, jiggling the knob harder. “i’ll kill him then.” 

“it’s really not that ba—” 

“i’m coming back next week with a repairman,” sana interjects, tone brokering no argument. “i can fix the doorknob myself but i’ll get a plumber for the shower.” 

you duck your head, embarrassed. “you really don’t have to do that, sana.”

“i want to,” she replies, eyes softening when she looks at you. “i don’t want you living in some shit-hole with no running water.”

“i have running water.” 

“we’ll see what the plumber says.” and with that, sana gives up on fixing the jam and breezes past the doorway. a few seconds later, you can hear sana at the front door shut behind her. with a deep sigh, you fall back into the bed and reach for your pillow, thick with her scent, and curls around it to fall asleep. 

in the morning, you wake up to a ten dollar venmo notification for coffee and the contact information of the plumber sana mentioned. 

—

“why haven’t you got my calls or texts?” is the first question that mina asks when you answer the phone. you stifle a laugh. 

“well, good to hear your voice mina.”

“you haven’t called me,” she says again. “is everything okay?” 

you sigh and sink into your loveseat, socks skipping over the fractured leather. your fingers cradle the coffee mug. “nothing’s wrong.” you say. “i’ve been really busy.” 

“with what?” 

“school,” is what you reply with. “not sure if you’ve kept up, but i’m in my last year now. i’ve been getting most of the important work done as much as i can.” a second passes before you add, “and communication is a two-way street. you haven’t been calling me either.” 

“busy with work.” is what mina says in defense. 

“see?” you quirk, a sip of coffee passing through your mouth, tapping your fingers on your knee, waiting for mina to speak. neither of you are particularly verbose, so the shared calls usually play out like this: tense silence, quick updates, the voids that harbored resentment. but you’ve grown far from the desire of mina to be soft for you (she has, doesn’t want to admit it) and you’re just accustomed to the dispassion. 

for the final question on the script: “do you need any money from me?” 

“no, mina. i don’t need money from you or auntie.” 

“i assume the tips are good at your job then?” 

“even better.” 

she hums, like this was real answer, saying, “if you ever need anything, call me.” 

“you know it when i do.” 

“okay then.” 

mina hangs up with a click before the goodbye is even truly articulated on the tongue. 

—

your ears perk up when a knock is heard on the door, moving from your kitchen to walk to the entrance. curious, you open it, only to be swept up into sana’s arms before you can even say hello. she kicks it shut behind her and pins you to the old wood, lips roving over your face. 

“what—” she kisses your mouth twice in quick succession. “—are you doing here?”

“left the hospital for my lunch break,” sana breathes, hitching you up so that a leg is wrapped around her waist. she dips to suck your collarbone, mouth curling when she hears you mewl. “decided to come here.” 

“d-did you eat?” 

“no.” 

sana’s hand slides up from the curve of your ass to your breast, squeezing gently. you moan softly, head thumping against the wood. “you—you should.” 

she separates from your throat to shoot a sly grin. “i’d rather eat you out first.” 

mindless, spurred by sana’s passion, you surge down to kiss her. tightening your legs around her, thighs squeezing as sana’s hand cups your clit. with every pass of the hand, you can feel the shift of your underwear, panties clinging. 

sana buries her hand into your hair, yanking back to expose your throat. she ducks her head to you for another kiss, trailing her lips up and down the line, tongue darting out to taste. her other hand dips down to your ass to bind you up against her, rolling until your toes curl. you sigh and slide your hand into sana’s hair. it would be so easy to just cum from this, but you’d rather put sana’s mouth somewhere else. 

you pull her up by her hair, stomach clenching at the naked want on sana’s face. her eyes, half-lidded and hazy, are trained on your open mouth. when you lick them, her thumb catches your bottom lip. 

“please,” you gasp, moving against sana’s hips. arching. “we need to go to my—” 

sana grins, almost madly, and kisses you hard enough to steal your breath. “what? you’re afraid your neighbors might hear me fuck you again?” 

you blush hotly and sana laughs, but ultimately decides to appease you, heaving you off the wall. she seeks out your lips again and stumbles into the room. impatient, sana kicks open the door, heedless when it slams loudly into the wall. 

you hardly notice also, giddy when sana pushes you onto the bed. it’s a race to get clothes off, pairs of hands fulmbling with the zippers and buttons until sana bats her pants away, you yanking your sweatpants off, meeting for another kiss as she lowers herself over you. you moan loudly when her fingers tease the opening between your legs, feeling the wetness in an instant. 

“my god,” you sigh out, clinging to sana, blood burning beneath your skin; every movement a siren call to your own pleasure. “please, just—just touch me, sana.” 

sana grins rakishly, eyes glittering with mirth. ever the eager observer to your own demise. 

“you’re always so polite, sweetheart.” sana says, and moves down to kiss you. you yourself arch to meet her, pulse skittering at her proximity, at the heady invertibility of mindless pleasure, and—

the lights go out. 

sana stills above you. at first, you’re surprised, waiting for them to flicker back on. this happens sometimes. i mean—the building is old as in 1920s red stone–faulty wiring and out-dated, but nothing comes to fruition. 

“fuck,” you spitt, arousal plummeting to now nothing. you move from under sana. “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—” 

“what’s wrong?” sana asks. you rise from the bed and she follows you to the kitchen. you snatch a pile of envelopes from your counter to dig through them, only to stop when you notice that the lighting outside is too dim to see. you sigh heavily, marching over to your couch to read by the flickering candles. sana sits down beside you, eyeing cautiously. “what’s wrong?” 

“the light bill,” you croak. “the rental agency upped the price recently but i must’ve paid the old amount without ven thinking. god, how could i be so stupid?!” 

“you’re not stupid. don’t talk like that,” sana snaps. she then takes a deep breath, voice much calmer when she adds, “and this is an easy fix. if you pay it now, it’ll be back on in a few hours. this shit happens, y/n.” 

“but i don’t–” have the money. you clench your jaw tight, forcing the words down, but sana can see the pain on your face, can hear it lingering in the air, unsaid. 

“i’ll help you—” you shake your head; you don’t like this, the reminder—” let me help you.” 

“no, sana.” 

“it’s not a big deal. i want to.” 

“i can’t ask you to—”

sana suddenly shifts closer and grabs your face, cupping it between her palms. she looks int your eyes, gaze probing.

“let me,’ she cajoles. “you don’t have to bear the burden of this all on your own. if i’m offering to help you, let me help you.” 

your heart swells. with relief. with dismay. “okay.” 

she pecks your lips before standing up, thumb trailing down your cheek. “where’s your laptop? if your account is set up online, i can pay it now. i still have about forty-five minutes until i have to get back so i can wait with you until then.” 

“it’s on my desk.” 

sana nods once, turning on her heel to march into your room. the second she’s out of sight, you bury your face into her hands, burning with shame. 

—

right after class ends, your phone vibrates. 

you pick it out of your pocket, thumb grayling over your cracked screen to see sana’s contact photo flashing up at you; it was the one taken three weeks ago, with her smiling while you pressed a kiss to her cheek. you’re clicking the green button. 

“hello?” 

“i just realized you’ve never been to my apartment,” sana says, surprising you. “we’ve been together for almost two months and you’ve never seen my house.” 

“oh.” your cheeks flush, pulse skipping at together. “you’ve never really brought it up before.”

“like a fucking idiot. do you wanna come over?” 

your body warms in a near–sudden response, to your eternal horror, and with a bite of your lip. “sure.” 

“cool! i’ll pick you up right now.” 

“you're not working today?” 

“no. i worked eighty hours last week so they gave me a day off. i’m on call, though, which is shitty anyway.” 

“i’m sorry.” 

“it’s fine,” sana dismisses. “so you’re still on campus?” 

“yeah. i just got out of class.” 

“alright, i’ll be there in twenty.” 

“okay. bye.” 

“bye.” sana says, but lingers on the line. for a moment, you think she’s forgotten to hang up, and moves to do it for her until she adds, softly, cutely you might think. 

“i’m excited to see you.” 

your heart thuds, and she hangs up before you can even say something back. 

for twenty minutes, you wait near the entrance of the school, fiddling with your phone until sana texts you to come meet her. finding the car quickly, walking towards the sleek, gray two–seater of her vintage mercedes, and opens the door to see sana grinning at you. a pair of dark sunglasses sit on the bridge of her nose. 

“hi,” sana smiles. 

“hi.” you say back, hating at how shy you still get around her, considering. sana, though, always appears to take a bit of pride to it. 

she chuckles, leaning back in her seat and shifting the car into drive, pulling into the main road. you settle in to watch the hypnotic motion of her hands as she turns the wheel—it almost makes you nostalgic for some reason. 

“so,” sana says, turning onto the street. “how was class?” 

“fine. just sat through a lecture.” 

“about?”  

“well, just the study of psychosocial development of erickson. how the different stages can be embedded by sociological challenges. you don’t want to hear the rest from me.” 

“ah.” you suck a smile in; seeing the cogs in sana’s brain turning. “sounds interesting.” 

“it’s a lot to cover. my professor was telling us about how some guest speaker that’s gonna be presenting next month. apparently she specializes in existential psychotherapy so i’m thinking of seeing that when it comes.” 

“that’s really cool. do you know the name?” 

“no.” you appreciate the effort that sana is showing. elizabeth, as wonderful and cool she was, tended to block you out sometimes: on the occasion she ever needed to. “what about you? how was work?” 

sana groans. “terrible. a guy was rolled in with a bullet wound and was hemorrhaging like crazy. i was able to stop the bleeding and get the bullet out, but the anesthesiologist almost od’d him and killed him. idiot.” 

“wow,” you say. “is he okay now?”

“yeah. but i’m never having that dumbass with me at the table again.” 

“you might have to, though. you’re a new doctor, sana, i don’t know if you have the luxury of writing off your co-workers.” 

sana smirks. “i might.” 

flicking the blinkers on, she turns on the road that leads them deeper into the upper west side. sana drives into a small parking lot behind a tall building before pulling into a space. once the car shifts into park and the keys are yanked out, you step out, mouth parting as you take in the veritable skyscraper in front of you. 

“you live here?!” 

“yeah,” sana says, taking your hand. seeing the stupefied expression, grinning and leading you inside. a red-headed doorman greets sana as you make your way across the lobby. the elevator didn’t even feel like an elevator and once you got past sana’s front door, you’re in full flabbergasted mode—eyes open like saucers. sana smiles at your gasp but when her eyes flicker to you they narrow. 

“i thought it would be a penthouse of sorts.” 

“trust me, it is but at the same time it isn’t.” 

sana’s apartment may not be as lux as you initially thought, but it’s still nice regardless. you can tell that it was costly, dark furniture andwide, open spaces and tall windows. the walls are painted with a light grey. a flat-screen plasma tv hangs in her living room, mounted over a fireplace. the black velvet leather couch is in front of it, clearly brand new. 

her voice echoes the walls. echoes. you’re left marveling. “are you hungry?” sana asks from the dining area, “i have some food from the other day.” 

“what do you got?” 

“some leftovers from this dimsum place, pretty good actually.” 

you giggle. “i thought you would have a much more sophisticated diet to fall back on.” meeting her at the kitchen island while she opens the box of food, tossing a bite into her mouth while you’re scanning through the dumplings. 

“this is delicous.” you say in between bites, sana leaning over pressing a kiss to your temple. “you’re not eating as much, not enough craving?” 

“i had some food earlier.”

“how earlier are we talking?”��

“before i scooped you up.” 

you hum while she feeds you another bite of the warm dumpling that melts so tenderly into your mouth. 

the relaxing downtime with sana felt like a completely different world in her house. you got to know sana’s rough run down backstory of how she got to some form of power when it comes to dealing with which practitioner helps with her or not. being well-connected in her line of work was something to be fortunate with, but sana doesn’t like the idea of wealth being wrapped around her. sure, her clothes may be nice, demeanor brash and language abrasive at times, but she sees the world in a more different light compared to tzuyu and elizabeth on the topic of privilege. 

as for how she got into her career of being a surgeon, she signed up for dual-enrollment in the last two years of her high school to graduate early. the calling of med school already being long in terms of time, so the sooner she could get out, the better. 

“i like that,” you say. “i like how your mind works. i like—”

you. you almost say it. and it aches to not project it, the sudden sting of yearning. you, you, i really like you.

but catching yourself tripping up was something more of a simple defensive mechanism. “the story,” you finish. “pretty funny.” 

“i have better ones.” sana says, grin lighting up her face, more radiant than sunlight. and her obliviousness burns twice as hot. “do you wanna hear about the time my friend bang chan and his best friend felix got mutual restraining orders back in college?” 

—

you’ve read the name of tobio kageyama for probably the thirtieth time in two manga volumes before your mind decided to call for a needed break. 

sitting upright from the couch, stretching and popping joints across the body. a look at the clock shows that it’s a little past eight, realizing that you’ve studied for roughly about two to three hours. too bad you didn’t notice it before because your brain is already bugging and battered into mush. 

so you head to the kitchen, glass cup filled before drinking it once or twice before noticing that sana hasn’t drank any water since she took up a fortress in her office two hours ago, claiming that she had a work call. you fill another glass again, dropping a few ice cubes, before making your way towards her office door–knocking once, “hey, you busy?” 

sana’s voice sounds muffled, weary. “no, come in.” 

entering the room, hesitant like you were intruding on some sacred space. like the rest of her house, sana’s office was nice, richly-furnished. she has a tall, wooden desk in front of her, several files and stacks of paper placed on top. there’s a bookshelf behind in the corner, thick tomes marked by names that you don’t even want to try to read or recognize. the walls are also painted in a dark gray, and there’s a leather couch off to the left side with a blanket placed over it. even sana needs to have her naps sometimes. 

sana then calls for your attention, glasses perched on the bridge of her perfect nose. “did you need something?” 

“no,” you say, inching closer. raising the glass, “i just wanted to get you some water.” 

she smiles in thanks, taking it from you while she approaches with an outreaching hand, grabbing the glass downing it in one gulp. frowning with a mild concern once she gave you back the glass, “were you thirsty?” 

“a bit. i didn’t feel it until now.” 

“are you hungry?” 

“not right now. i’ll eat when im finished with this.” 

“you should take a break,” you say, stepping towards sana. you lean back with your butt to the edge of her desk, half sitting. up close, you can see sana’s stress more evidently, eyes low with exhaustion. “sit on the couch with me. we can watch something together.” 

“i can’t do that, y/n.” 

“why not?” would a short film be better?” 

“i have paperwork. a lot of paperwork. not to mention forms, test results, patient files. i want to try to get through them by tonight.” 

“and you will,” you reply softly, stepping between her legs, resting your hands on her shoulders. “just ten or fifteen minutes of your time, please.” 

“no way we’re watching a movie in ten minutes.” 

“not the movie, you idiot. i was gonna say food instead, you should eat.” 

“‘m not hungry.” 

“not even a snack?” 

sana lets out a smile, placing her hands on your hips. “i appreciate you for being concerned, baby, but i’ll be done soon. i promise. then we can go get something to eat together.” 

looking down at the ground, hands still on shoulder. you’re smoothening the crinkles of sana’s large shirt, fingers brushing up from her neck up to her hair. you lean down and kiss sana fully on the lips, slowly, once, twice, a few times, and rest your knee on her chair between her legs. you break away a bit to pepper languid kisses across the slope of her jaw. 

“relax,” you croon. “take a break with me.” 

sana sinks into you, sighing like she’s expelling a pressure from deep within her chest. her eyes flutter closed, hands twitching around your waist, and when you dip down to kiss her throat, you feel the flushing heat rising from her body.

desire races to the forefront like a freight train, bowling over you with its inteistiey, and you’re running a hand up her thigh towards the center. sana gasps sharply into your parted mouth, fingers clutching around your waist. you’re nearly smiling. 

“you’ve eaten me out before,” you whisper. “but you’ve never let me do the same for you.” 

sana laughs but it’s off, brimming with echoes of a dark promise. “i find it more enjoyable when i eat up your pussy then have you eat mine. better for me to see you cry the way i want you to.” 

there’s a thrill pulsing through your body, throbbing dully in your cunt. you’re ducking down to kiss her again, practically panging into sana’s open mouth as you palm her through her pants. her face is screwed up with a tight coil of pleasure, eyes shut. her fingers dig into the leather armrests at her side. 

“let me,” you whisper again, almost begging. “i want to.” 

sana’s eyes crack open, solely, regarding you as though you were something to be consumed. i want to, you think with a sort of nameless, desperate sense of urgency. i want you to. 

she nods, and you kneel at her feet. 

you’re kissing through her jeans first, soft, affectionate little pecks that make sana groan, fingers sliding up her legs again. you help sana clumsily unbutton her pants, shucking it down and off her thighs. the panties are quick to follow, only first with a trail of your lips over the black-laced fabric, soaked with her wetness that fills up your nose. sana is wrecked with the effect you have on her, just some light kisses and heavy petting, making your cunt fucking clench; you don’t think you’ve ever met anyone who’s wanted you even half as much. 

when sana’s panties are gone left with her shirt; the scent is intoxicating. her folds are glistening. she sighs of pure bliss when you lick up her slit, mouth lingering on her clit. her hips twitch from the initial contact. you stifle a smile when you shower a few more kisses, and she groans loudly when you part her legs, squeezing her inner thighs tightly the more you shove your face into her cunt. 

you’ve eaten out girls before, but sana was more of an anomaly. to play it safe, you experiment, trying to see what she likes best. licking at her, teasing her walls with a finger, leaving teased kisses to the area outside of her pussy. sana can’t contain herself when she pulls your head back in with her hand, moaning into her core, the vibrations too overwhelming coming from your mouth to her legs. 

“fuck,” sana moans. “fuck, y/n–baby, fuck. i’m gonna—” 

nodding at her, you don’t let up the pace of tearing up her cunt. fingers in walls and grunting into her. she doesn’t even let you breathe. the heels of her feet on your shoulders as her hands are on the back of your head, nails scratching the scalp the more you’re lapping her up. only then you pull away as she coos out locking eyes with you, the sight of licking your mouth lean with your tongue from her slick almost makes her lose it from the seat. 

“i’m gonna ruin you,” sana promises, snarling, gaze devouring, mad with want. it sends a deep vibration into your cunt while she looks up to the ceiling. “you won’t be able to walk.” 

you could’ve just came right then and there, vision whiting out at the edges. somehow you kept your sanity in check, ducking your head for more fully. humming and sliding your tongue over her cunt, nibbling on her clit and with a sudden jerk followed by a sharp groan, she cums. 

a whole assortment of papers, files, pens, and pencils are scattered to the floor as sana digs her hand beneath your shirt and rips it off of you. your lips meet hers for another frantic kiss, laying back as she’s settling over you. 

she shoves your sweats down along with your panties, letting them dangle from your feet. sana then moves back to your chest, hands moving like a firebrand, searing your skin with every touch. desperate to feel more of it, you sit up slightly and unclasp your bra. the second you’ve tossed it, sana’s hands are quick to palm, mouth hot against your own as she swallows your keening sigh. 

“you have the most perfect tits in the world,” sana breathes, thumbs circling your nipples, forefingers roving down to pinch. the sweet pleasure-pain sparks a heavy throb in your core, and she arches into you, spreading your legs wide. you moan when sana’s mouth is around your breast, the other hand folding you. 

“god, sana, please,” you beg, clinging to her. your hips are twitching, the emptiness inside you turning into a physical ache. 

“what is it, baby?” sana switches over to your other mound, tongue laving over your nipple. your eyes fluttering, mind spinning at the sight. “what?” 

moaning helplessly, and her hand slides down to your cunt, thumb sliding up the wet gusset of your panties to find your clit. when she presses down, your hips jerk forward, shrieking. she’s laughing around your boob. 

“yeah, there we go,” sana sighs out, rubbing at you languidly, moving slow with the roll of her hips. “that feels good, doesn’t it?” 

“ye—ah—yes, yes it feels good.” 

“i know.” sana kisses up to your throat, sucking the soft spot beneath your jaw, lips deceptively sweet. “but you want more, don’t you.” 

more. 

your stomach seizes at the thought of it, the promise. you grasp at her wrist and sana hisses, dipping her hand beneath underneath your underwear to slide a finger inside you. keening when she adds another digit, stretching you open—another sounds leaves your mouth and sana laughs when you’re clamping around her fingers.

“you feel so good like this, y/n. so good.” she watches as she fucks her fingers in and out of you, transfixed by the sight. almost resentful of her own body. “i wish i could live in you. i wish—” 

“you could,” somehow croaking that out when she has four fingers inside. “i’d let you.” 

sana lets her intrusive thoughts get the better of her, growling while she surges down your body. your panties are up in the air as she raises a leg up, thumb petting your clit. you’re rearing up with a shout, a splintering sound, bursting, but sana doesn’t give you any breathing room. next thing you know, she has the flat plane of her tongue swiping upward that pushes your undoing even faster. 

it’s good enough to cry, you can feel the salt on your tongue when sana leans up again for another kiss before trailing down to your pussy. there’s a malformation with how the kisses are sloppier on your lips above and below, but the pleasure is good. she makes you feel like euphoria is an ever-present force that is kept within you, and it’s much deeper than the sex. the sprawling root of it is happiness, and sana. 

“c’mon, y/n, my lovely girl,” sana says tightly, jaw clenching when she breathes over your clit. her eyes hazy like she might be the one to cum again. “give me another.” 

you wrap your legs around her, canting up so that her mouth and tongue go deeper, and you both moan from it. sana’s finger finds your clit again, so wet the sound is purely obscene, but it only strokes the fire of your pleasure, makes it build higher and higher. 

“that’s it. there we go. t-there—” 

sana stops short. a bitten-off cry, and she doubles down on your clit. her fingers clench around your walls, and there’s a gentle wave—mouth parted to sigh. 

she stays for a second, pulling her hand out examining the slimy fluid between the fingers, licking them seductively that makes you roll your eyes and look away. sana just laughs at you, “fuck you, for making me like this.” 

your head hits the desk, “not sorry. i like it when you’re needy for me.” 

she huffs out, “little minx. when i’m done with you—” 

“what? i won’t be able to walk?” 

sana’s face falls flat, but her eyes spark with lurid determination as she leans in and whispers, “everything i’ve gotten in life, i’ve had solely because i wanted it badly enough. you think that doesn’t apply to the things i wanna do to you?” 

your heart hammers like a jack-rabbit. red-hot heat slowly consumes your face. “i—”

she moves off of you but keeps her arms bracketing your hips. “we’re moving to my room,” she interjects. “i need a bed if i want you to sit on my face.” 

eyes were wide open while you managed to slip out of sana’s hold, scurrying to the bedroom down the hallway. sana’s signature laugh echoes as she chases you down behind. 

—

it’s a bit chilly outside when mina calls you, the autumn weather creeping beneath your new coat to settle into your bones. hitching the collar up your neck for cover, and the phone is out from your pocket to see your cousin’s name. you’re repressing a sigh, picking up, 

“hey.” 

“yo.” mina has many greetings. “where are you right now?” 

“i got out of class, walking to the subway.” 

“are you by yourself?” 

“yes,” you say. “obviously. why wouldn’t i be?” 

“you usually have that slightly taller girl tagging along with you. the one with the model face.” 

“tzuyu.” you correct sharply. “and you’re not wrong, but she has her own life. you know? a girlfriend?” 

“and you? you got anyone?” 

frozen, stumbling in your tracks. mina could be asking for curiosity, but you know your cousin too well; she’s not the kind to be asking unnecessary questions. 

“no, i don’t,” you answer cautiously. 

“are you sure?” 

“why even bother asking me?” you retort, voice clipped. “even if i was seeing someone. i’d mention it right away, even with thanksgiving around the corner.” 

“i don’t see what thanksgiving has anything to do with it.”

“most normal people introduce their partners to family, mina. not everything personal is some dirty little secret.” 

“don’t you dare try to get snippy with me. i was just asking a question, not cuffing you to a table for an interrogation. chillax.” 

you’re cringing with knitted brows, stepping down the stairwell into the subway station. it’s a lot warmer, “whatever. i just wanted to know why you were asking.” 

“i was asking because you haven’t been calling me lately. i figured that someone else was taking up all of your time besides auntie.” 

your jaw tenses. there’s this wave of guilt that makes your clinch your lip, voice much gentler when you follow up, “i’ve just been busy, mina. you know that.” 

“yeah?” the customary ten seconds of loaded silence pass before mina adds, “speaking of busy, don’t come down for thanksgiving this year. i’m gonna be busy with work.” 

work. the nameless occupation mina had never bothered explaining to you, not since you were in your teens. you’ve had your own suspicions and theories, but you never even had the frame of mind to confirm them yourself. 

even with the disappointment; it’s actually comforting in a weird sense. “that’s fine. i have finals to get ready for anyway.” 

“you’re not upset by this?” 

“no.” 

“and you’re not lying to me about anything, right?” 

“no, mina.” you say, smiling ruefully. “why would i? when have either of us ever lied each other about anything?” 

good as dammed, but there’s no care for it. i wouldn’t even matter anyway. it comes as a concern for how little tinges of that feeling is there still. 

mina sighs out. “talk to you later then, if you do call me.” 

you hang up after. the lasting thought of mina doesn’t even come afterwards. 

—

not even more than two steps into the entrance hallway when the doorbell calls you. 

you’re freezing, eating away at the fragile patience, but when you look through the peephole. you don’t think twice about opening the door. “tzuyu?” 

she’s standing across from you, arms folded, foot tapping, and pouting. “you’ve been neglecting me.” she accrues.

“huh?” you ask stupidly while blinking in a fast state.

tzuyu rolls her eyes and breezes past you, chilling air carrying the rich scent of yves saint-laurent. you follow her into the living rom, watching her shuck off her louis vutton jacket and tosses it onto the seat. 

“well?” she demands, whirling around to face you. “tell me what did she do to you?” 

“what?” 

“your little sugar mommy-doctor-girlfriend.” 

“tzuyu–” 

“whatever she did, she’s good enough to keep you from calling or texting your best friend for a week.” 

“what?” you’re gasping out again. “a week? i haven’t…” 

with a rush of the phone, you’re pulling up messages only to notice that you have, in fact, been ignoring tzuyu’s texts for the better part of a week. all of your besties messages. the only person you’ve kept consistent contact with is sana, and the last text you sent her was–

well—best to the imagination. 

“i’m so sorry,” you breathe out, throwing your phone off to approach tzuyu, taking her mittened hands, gently directing her to sit on the couch. “i’m so sorry, tzuyu. i didn’t mean to ignore you or shuhua or irene or anyone, i just—” 

“you’ve been preoccupied with your new girl?” 

“yeah,” you admit, bit of shame hanging, but adding, “and school. dooyoung–the guy editing my thesis—says it’s coming together really nicely, so.” 

tzuyu whoops, reaching out to shake your leg. “and you’ll be presenting it next semester! how do we feel about that?” 

“pretty good.” 

suddenly, her eyes soften, shifting closer. “i was mostly kidding, by the way, about you neglecting me. i remember how i was when i first got with shuhua. you couldn’t get me away from her.” 

“it’s different, though.” 

“what makes you say that?” 

“because shuhua is your girlfriend and sana is my—” 

you stop, horrified by the abrupt burn of tears. you turn away to conceal yourself, blinking hard, but tzuyu was always quick to notice. she wraps her arms around your elbow, leaning into your shoulder. “your sugar mommy,” she finishes gently, but you flinch like it’s a slap. 

“yeah. that.” 

“if it bothers you so much, then why are you staying with her?” i’m sure she’s given you enough that you have time to figure out another way to get money. it’s not like you need her.” 

“yeah,” you reply dully, still not meeting eyes with tzuyu. your mind is playing the denial aspect a lot more tougher now. “you’re right. i don’t.” 

—

with all things and struggles, you compartmentalize. 

you’re refusing to think of the blooming feelings for sana more than you have to, and in the even that you can’t, distraction was the solution: school, work, friends. and on the rare occurrence as crazy it would seem, shopping. 

“an IKEA drawer?” sana asks, baffled. you keep your phone between shoulder to ear. “why the fuck did you go to IKEA?” 

“i needed to,” you answer, pushing the giant box inside of your apartment, leaning against the wall as it’s on the wall. “my other drawer was broken. i’ve had it for like, seventeen years, so i figured that it was time for a change.” 

“and you could afford it?”

a rhetorical question. what sana’s really asking if the two bundred she sent you last week was a decent enough amount that you could splurge on. clenching your teeth, flushing. 

“yes.” 

“y/n, baby. i sent you the money so that you could go shopping.”

“i did. and i shopped at IKEA.” 

“are you gonna build the drawer now?” 

“yeah.” 

“let me come over. i can build it for you/” 

“sana, it’s fine. i’ve built furniture before.” 

“so have i. in fact, i bet i could have it done in half the time it takes you to read the instructions.”

“oh really now?” cocking a brow in disbelief. “how soon can you come over?” 

—

time didn’t really pass, staring at sana from the bed, chin resting on your palm as you watch her hiss and curse to herself, pink screwdriver in hand. the sweat rolls enticing down the hard ridges of her abs, her hair is up and out of her face in a knot. the most exhilarating part in all of this was watching him use her shirt as a sweat rag. 

“are you sure you don’t—”

“i’m almost done,” sana snaps, eyes flashing with indignation. “just give me ten more minutes.” 

true to her word, she was nearly done. the drawer stands tall in front of her, most of the pieces already constructed and put into place. all that’s missing is the top set of the drawers, which she has in her hands right now. 

still, it’s only mildly entertaining just to watch sana. you debated studying to pass the time, but the focus wasn’t enough on your book to make it stick. reading was also out of the question, and texting irene went nowhere after she revealed that she was on a date and couldn’t speak. the news that things with her and seulgi were going well and exciting to hear, but not long after. sana’s shirt was off. 

“it’s really fucking hot in here,” had been the excuse mainly. 

“is this supposed to keep me distracted? you ask. 

“i’m not trying to do anything. if you’re distracted, that’s your prerogative.” 

liar. she’s been annoyed the second you stopped foching on her long enough to try facetime tzuyu. 

you sigh, spitefully debating on what you can do to fluster sana. the limited options, though, tend to lean more in one direction and the idea of willfully doing any of them was embarrassing. 

suddenly, she whoops. “i finished!” 

you roll over on your stomach to see sana sliding the drawer into the top slot, circling it, pulling on different knobs to test the tightness and checking for smoothness of the pulling out and pushing in of the drawers. she grins at you, triumphantly. “i told you i could do it.”

“i never said that you couldn’t.” 

“it was in your tone.”

you smile, and sana straightens up to bend something in her body. a loud crack sounds, followed by a pained sigh, and her eyes open more glazed. “fuck.” 

soon after sana is laid flat on the mattress when you motioned her, face turned towards you with a look that says are you okay? 

“my back. it’s been annoying me since work—fuck.” 

you nick your head as you cautiously glide your hands over her skin, kneading the muscle softly, and sana just hums with relief. “keep doing that.” 

straddling on sana’s ass, languidly moving your fingers up. she just melts. sana perks up when you giggle. “what?” 

“nothing.” 

“tell me.” 

“i think it’s kinda bad for you to have back pain at your age, and it’s kinda mindblowing how active you are.”

“don’t be that dramatic, i’m not that old.” 

“for someone that’s near thirty.”

“that’s a bit harsh.” 

you giggle again before leaning down, lips skimming sana’s ear lobe. “i’m just teasing you.”

“you’re so fucked up for saying that, i’m only twenty-nine still.” 

“don’t be so sensitive.” you say pressing a kiss to her nape. “not bad if you're in your early late twenties early thirties while i’m in my early twenties.” 

sana sinks into you, like clay in your hands. when you move to the ridge of her cheekbone, she leans into you, turning her head to catch your lips. a languid kiss is shared, tongues melding, unhurried, but that fire is sparked between your hips and it becomes urgent. it’s a slow grind that’s rolled out, eyes fluttering at the friction. 

you pull away while sana breathes out, “fuck,” and flips you over now that you’re straddling over her front. your hands are on her waist, and sana moves her leg up between your legs, doubling down on the notice that you’re not wearing anything underneath the shorts, lips parting. 

she leans up to kiss you. sana always kisses you, mouth consuming like she wants to suck you inside. “i didn’t know you watching me build furniture would get you so hot.”

“everything you do gets me hot.” 

sana moans and binds you up against her, hips bucking, delicious friction sending stars behind your eyes. you wrap your arms around her neck, panting into her mouth, so euphoric that you want to weep. so happy. 

when she breaks way to squeeze your breasts, a loud knock sounds at the door, startling you. sana, however, is unmoved.

“ignore it,” she says, breath hot on your neck. “ride me.” 

your eyes flutter and you’re grasping at her hair, already picturing it, the slick coming out of you on her leg, the fruition and contact deep enough to send you reeling. and then you hear it: 

“y/n!” another loud knock, more insistent. “open the door!”

shit, you think, cursing, the word flying form your mouth now. “shit, shit.” 

sana pulls away from you, concerned, but you’re already beating her in the scramble. she watches you rush to the mirror to fix your hair. 

“what’s up? who is that?” 

“mina,” you breathes, cold panic pulsing through your veins. “my cousin.”

“oh, well—”

“it’s a bigger deal than you think,” you snap. “and stay here. she can’t see you.” 

sana’s eyes widen. “what–?” 

“stay here, sana.” 

you rush out of the room and hurry towards the front door. through the peephole, you see mina on the other side, arms crossed and expression stoic. you exhale deeply before opening the door, forcing a smile. 

“hi, mina.” 

she hums in greeting, shoulders knocking as she walks past you. when she spots the IKEA box, she stops short. 

“you bought furniture?”

“yes,” you answer hesitantly, clammy fingers clasped behind you. “i needed a new drawer.” 

“why didn’t you tell me?” 

“i need to call you every time i buy furniture?” 

“no. but these things sell for three hundred bucks. it’s expensive.”

“this one was on sale. one–fifty.” 

mina makes a deep sound in her throat, unsatisfied, but her journey is continued throughout your apartment. 

“so, uh. what are you doing here?” 

“it’s thanksgiving tomorrow.” 

“oh. i thought…you told me not to come. you said you were busy.” 

“some time opened up in my schedule,” she says, and finally stops long enough to look at you. her eyes were shrewd, filled with knowing. it only raises the sirens going off in your head louder. “i decided to come see you.”

“ah,” you breathe. “well, um. i didn’t buy any food. maybe we can order–?” 

“why are you so flustered? mina interrupts. “is there something going on?” 

“what? no, no, of course–”

“mina?” icy pinpricks poke your skin, and you slowly turn around to see sana standing in the hallway. her clothes and hair have been fixed, and she smiles at mina with a polite curiosity. 

your cousin’s expression sours instantly. “who the fuck is this?” 

“mina!”

“who is this. why is she in you apartment?!” 

sana walks towards mina, unphased by the insult. she sticks her hand out, “my name is minatozaki sana. nice to meet you.” 

mina peers at sana, neck tilted at an angle that would be comical if not for the fact that you feel like throwing up. finally, she looks at you again. 

“we need to talk.”  

[syndxlla]

best friends don’t look at each other the way we do

A low stakes, high rewards and self-indulgent Zelink fanfic. Canon-compliant, takes place between BOTW and TOTK

chapter three: She is beautiful, I am a mess

Read chapter two here

My masterlist

Song: Lights are On by Tom Rosenthal

Summary: Link processes his destiny while Zelda slowly recovers. Link meets with an old friend, and realizes how much he wants to Zelda in his life.

Warnings: PTSD, implied self-harm, illness, trauma

Word Count: 3.3k words

Authors note: The last line of this? Scrumptious. I ate that up. Also I’m going to start doing different pieces of art/gifs at the start of each chapter mostly so I can see the differences in the notifications! Thanks for all the support! Everyone has been so kind this is easily the most supportive fan base I’ve ever written for.

Link doesn’t leave her side the entire night, yet again. He sits on a stool pushed against the bed, and watches as she breathes in the sleep. He refuses to sleep, which means he’s gone about four days now with very little actual rest. This normally wouldn’t be a problem, but fighting Ganon on the second day of that no sleep schedule has really taken a toll on his physical health.

In his quiet contemplation as Zelda rested, the weight of what just happened set in. His heart rate rose as he remembered the sight of the Calamity, its spider-like body dripping with malice and disgust as it sneered at him. The stench is still pungent in his memory, his bad ear still beats with the blood that filled his body as he faced his destiny for a second time. He’s supposed to be courageous, unafraid and rarely daunted by his fate, but in reality he’s terrified.

Link doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the feeling in his bones as witnessed by the beast. How he felt paralyzed, how the night before he prayed to the Goddess that he wouldn’t wake up. Make someone else do it, please.

He could never admit this to anyone, and even struggles to admit it to himself. If he’s supposed to be the closest thing to the God of Bravery, why does he feel like such a pathetic coward most of the time? Maybe it was his reckless abandon that caused his status, or the fact that he’s so desensitized to the horrors of his knighthood. But those things do not equate to courage.

What even was courage, he asks himself.

He looks at Zelda. “She is beautiful”, he thinks “I am a mess”.

Link places a nervous thumb to her jaw with trepidation. He gently holds her face, soft enough that it wouldn’t wake her. Her skin is so soft, her eyelashes so gentle, her breathing even. Does she have any idea how beautiful she is when she sleeps?

When day finally breaks, Link realizes how cold it’s gotten in the house, and he takes the brave step of leaving the sleeping princess to build a fire in the hearth. He does so quickly, using a fire arrow. He pulls on a warm shirt, and quickly returns upstairs to Zelda.

She was awake, looking up at him.

“You should keep sleeping.” He whispers.

She groans, “Why did you leave?” She was aware enough to tell?

“I built a fire.” Link explains, "It's cold.”

“Oh.” Zelda whispers, “I am cold.”

Link crosses to his dresser and pulls out a woven blanket from the bottom drawer, draping it over her and the blanket she already had. She whispers thank you. ”Did you dream?” Link asks.

Zelda nods.

“It was me and my mom, we were eating and laughing together.” She describes and Link smiles. He places his hand against her forehead, and feels that she’s burning up. Of course she has a fever, that would cause her body to have the chills, that on top of a cold house wasn’t a good fit.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, vocalizing from a whisper for the first time.

Zelda thinks about it for a moment, she’s so snuggled up in the blankets all he can see is her face. “I’m not sick.” She states. Link is skeptical, but he nods.

“Go back to sleep.”

“Are you going to leave me again?” She asks.

“I might. I think I’ll go into town and get some things from the market, and I should probably send a message to Impa that we’re alive.” Link explains. Zelda frowns.

“I’m scared to be alone again.”

Link frowns, “You’ll be okay. But you need to sleep, your body is trying to recover from-“ He stops himself, he doesn't need to explain any further.

“You need sleep, too.” Zelda replies. She was right.

“I’ll be fine.” He shrugs it off. “But you need to promise me that you’ll be okay if I leave for a few hours, alright?”

Zelda groans, “You’ll come back, right?”

“Of course.”

It’s a few more hours before he leaves, he waits until Zelda falls back asleep, and it’s mid-morning when he finally does. He makes his way into Hateno Village, which is as lively as ever. He first stops in at the general store, buying a few essential items, and telling the store keeper about where he was last.

“You’re telling me you got rid of that thing at Hyrule Castle?” He asks, skeptical. Link just nods and shrugs as he examines a swift carrot. Like it was no big deal. The man laughs behind the counter, “And you lived to tell the tale? I don’t believe it.” He scoffs.

Link sets his items on the table between them, digging out a handful of rupees. “Well, I lived to tell the tale of Naydra last year, you all witnessed that, didn’t you?”

“I suppose… but that thing at the castle is a legend, I never even saw it. Just got told ghost stories of it as a boy.” His voice was gruff.

Link smiles, “whatever you want to believe, you don’t have to believe me.” Link sets to rupees down.

“That’s more than the cost.” The man states.

“Keep it.” Link pushes it towards him before putting his items in his pouch. “Use it to fix your roof, I saw it was leaking.”

The man smiles, “you’re always so good to us, Link. This village owes you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, except maybe your trust. The story will spread and rumors will, too.” Link turns to leave, but stops just outside of the door, speaking over his shoulder. “It wasn’t a ghost either, it was a spider-like thing that hatched out of a cocoon with giant axes and swords.” Link opens his arms up to show the size, “Probably at least the size of three oxen!” The shopkeeper's face goes pale, “But that wasn’t even the hard part!” Link starts to smile mischievously, “Then we took the battle onto Hyrule Field, and he turned into a massive pig. As big as a house, or bigger.”

The owner was dumbfounded, unable to reply at first, but then he shook his head, “You have quite the imagination, Link!” He chuckles and waves him off. Link just grins as he exits the shop.

He makes his way up the mountain to Purah and Symin’s, making a stop at the farm to pet the cows and help the owner with a broken fence post in trade for some milk. It was about noon now, and he wasn’t expecting to take as long to get to the Tech Lab, but the fence was absolutely destroyed. The farmer didn’t know what caused it, but it certainly wasn’t a cow…

The light on the Hateno valley is warm and inviting. It will be the harvest soon. Link had missed his days here. Early on after he woke up, he spent weeks at a time in this little village. Mostly because he was still too poor to afford sleeping anywhere other than his home. It was a safe home base for him when he was freeing the divine beasts. It wasn’t until he had laid his friends' spirits to rest that he became the wild child of the forest he was now. The last year or so he stopped spending more than a few days anywhere, it was the anxiety of the upcoming battle he kept avoiding that caused him to become such a nomad. He learned that it was always free to sleep in trees.

He gets to the lab, and before he can even open the door, Purah is swinging the door open. “Linky! You’re alive!” She cheers, looking up at him.

”I am,” Link replies with a smile, “and Zelda is, too.”

Purah smiles wide, her eyes becoming fiery, “Incredible. Is she okay!” She opens the door for Link, he enters the messy-as-usual lab, setting his sack of goodies down on the table.

“I don’t know…” Link shakes his head, “She’s very tired all the time, and she passed out quite unexpectedly last night.” He sighs. “I’m actually rather worried about her.” He admits. “It took me a long time to wake her up after she passed out, too. Longer than it should have.” Purah walks over to the table before climbing on top of it to Link’s eye-level.

“But she’s alive! And I’m assuming her body has been preserved, no?”

“It has, she doesn’t look a day over seventeen. But her spirit and her mind has changed, she’s tired.”

“Aren’t we all…” Purah shakes her head, “But no one as much as her.” She shrugs, “I would love to run some tests on you two, it might help me figure out my age issue.”

“More tests? I thought you said you were done with me?” Link groans.

“Nope, now that Zelda is here I want to take a sample of her DNA, too, and see if I can reverse-engineer it to cross with my DNA and get me back to my preferred physical age. I’m sick of this.” She gestures to her child-like state.

“When she’s feeling better I’ll ask her. I’m sure she’ll say yes, considering her love of science and all.”

“Alright Linky, what are you here for, I know you didn’t come to just talk, you always need something from me.” She teases.

“Alright Purah… don’t be mad.” He says as he reaches into his pouch to pull out a smashed and destroyed sheikah slate: the same one that got him through his quest.

Purah’s face goes white. “You did not just do that to an ancient piece of indestructible tech.” She reaches for it, taking the device in her hand and cringing.

“Well it wasn’t that indestructible, now was it?” Link asks with an awkward laugh.

“How?” Purah asks, traumatized.

“It happened while I fought Ganon, it kind of… exploded, and then he trampled it as a giant hog in Hyrule field.”

“That is…” She chooses her words carefully, “Epic, Linky.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No! But you’re gonna be when you can warp to sheikah hotspots. You’ll just have to go on foot like the rest of us. Speaking of, did you see what happened to the shrine in the ocean?”

“What?” He obviously didn’t.

“It sunk back into the ground, completely gone! Symin watched it happen! I’m curious about that happening to the other sheikah tech…” She gets lost in thought, and Link realizes that they all might disappear just as fast as they were found. “No one is gonna be more heartbroken about this than the Princess.” Purah finishes her thoughts.

“I’m hiding it from her. She can’t take a heart break in this state.” Link groans, sitting down in one of the chairs by the table. “Purah… I need you to send a message to Impa. I would go myself in person and be back by dinner but I can’t because the slate is gone. I know you sheikah have weird ways of communicating through distance, especially you sisters.” Link sighs.

“Oh she’ll beat you if you don’t go in person. You know how she is.”

“Yes. Which is why I am absolutely sick over this. But I can’t leave Zelda, she’s not okay, and I don’t know how long it’s going to be until she is.” He explains. “Impa can be mad at me all she wants, but she deserves to know that we are both alive and safe, and Ganon is not.”

Purah squints, “Fine. But you owe me.”

“As if saving the world wasn’t enough.” Link scoffs playfully.

“Hey! Don’t get cocky, no one likes a cocky hero. Besides, it’s not like you did it on your first try.” Purah jumps down from the table and Link’s entire body seizes. She freezes in her tracks when she realizes she said that out loud. She slowly turns around to see Link tense and unhappy. “Linky… I’m sorry I didn’t mean-“

He says nothing at first, “Is that what you guys say about me?”

“Link, we've always pushed each other's buttons like that.”

“It’s fine.” He sighs, it wasn’t fine. He signs, “I’m leaving. I don’t need anyone else’s shit.” He always signed when his emotions were at risk of betraying his words. He didn’t want to upset someone with his words. Purah isn’t very good at signs, but she gets the gist.

It was rare to see Link genuinely mad, especially at someone he cared about and knows is good. But that was out of line.

“Link…”

“Will you just tell Impa that we’re okay. Both of us. The calamity is gone and we’ll come visit as soon as we get our strength back.” He grabs his belongings and heads out.

“Wait-“ Purah tries to stop him but he leaves too fast. He takes a deep breath when he gets outside, looking out towards the sea. He walks towards the edge of the cliff, staring out at the horizon, letting the salty sea air blow on his skin. He looks where the shrine that lived in the water once was, and nothing was there but the original mound of island sand it sat on.

Back at home, Zelda is still in bed, and Link frowns when he sees her. He sits on his stool next to her, placing his hand against her forehead again. Her fever hasn’t broken.

“I’m home.” He whispers, and she stirs awake, her green eyes looking up at him. She smiles.

“I had the most wonderful dream.” She sighs. “We were at the beach, you and I, and Impa and Urbosa… and my mother.” Link worries that she dreams about those who have passed, he brushes some of her golden hair out of her face. “We looked at the water and listened to the seagulls. My mother was so beautiful and healthy, not like how she was when I remembered her.”

Zelda was very young when her mother died, and she was quite ill for the years leading up to her passing. Link remembered that, he remembered many of the things Zelda opened up to him about in their final days before The Calamity. “Do you want some water?” Link asks, she nods. He stands up, making his way to the well outside and scooping a bucket of it before coming back in. He finds her sitting up in bed.

“Did you get up all by yourself?” He asks with a smile. She nods, her face still pale and expression lost. She was much worse today. Link scoops some water out with a cup, and hands it to her. She shakily holds it in both hands, bringing the wooden mug up to her lips and sipping lightly. Link sits beside her this time, but he feels petrified.

In the last two days they've already crossed so many boundaries. He feels as though he has to be the stoic Knight from before, never looking at her for too long, not speaking unless spoken to, and especially not touching without explicit permission. That was a whole lifetime ago, however, and he’s barely the same person he was when those were the rules.

But even so, he can’t help but follow those roles that he keeps breaking. He shouldn’t see her in such a state: shirt too loose, eyes droopy, sighs so gentle and alluring it could tame a lynel.

He knows no one is watching them, no one is there to judge them, but he cannot bring himself to hold her hand as she shakes, even though he desperately wants to. Placing his hand on her head to check for temperature and burns in her hair from her face was already a serious breach of protocol, and yet when he did it, he felt so comfortable, so safe. He felt more like himself.

Maybe what’s holding him back is the knowledge that she didn’t lose her memories. To her, he is supposed to be that obedient servant.

He knows they got very close towards the end. Based on the memories he’s recollected, he knows they broke those rules far more than they should have. But it was always by Zelda’s instigation. She wanted him to place his hand on the small of her back as they walked, she asked him to lace up her goddess dress, she initiated the gentle touches and hugs of despair.

Now, he’s terrified of taking advantage of her in her sickly state, but he wants so badly to lie with her. To finally get some rest of his own, in his own bed, holding the girl he worked so tirelessly to rescue.

He wishes he could rest as a reward.

He reminds himself that her presence, safety and life is reward enough.

And goddess, is that a wonderful reward. Her weight sinking down the bed, her intoxicating smell, their shoulders just barely brushing. She was incredible, completing a feat that no one had ever come close to accomplishing, and here she was, in his home, in his bed, wearing his clothes.

Link's stomach flips, and he immediately forces himself to relax. Realizing how immature his though process was. This was a princess, not a girl in the Gerduo Brothel. He was confused.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks him, pulling him out of his rampant thoughts. He snaps back to reality.

“What?” He turns to see her looking up at him with her shiny eyes. “Oh…” He desperately wants to tell her, tell her that he’s thinking of her and only her. For three years he spent sleepless nights staring at the heavens and thinking about her. How he hungrily searched for every memory just to hear her voice, and how he took her diary out of the castle to read every page, even the ones that were scribbled with doodles and blacked-out poetry. He wanted to tell her that he fell for her the moment she told him to open-his-eyes, and when he finally remembered what she looked like, she was even prettier than what he imagined.

“…Horses.” He says, dumbfounded and foolish. She smiles.

“I’ve always admired how you loved them. You were the best rider in all of the guard, I fully believe it’s because of how gentle you were with them. They trusted you, which made them listen to you.”

The way she spoke was so thoughtful, so intelligent. Link catches himself accidentally looking at her lips, but yanks his eyes away.

“W-What were you thinking about?” He asks.

She looks off, swallowing thickly. Zelda then lifts her hand, holding it palm up, staring at it. Nothing happens.

“My gift isn’t working anymore.” She states. “I tried while you were getting the water, and look, nothing.” Zelda explains. Link looks at her hand, not knowing what he’s supposed to see.

Her hand is so soft, her fingers long and slender, her nails clean and rounded to perfection.

Her wrists are littered with old scars.

Link wants to take her hand. She sets it down in her lap, “I suppose that’s alright. I don’t need them anymore.”

“What was it like?” Link asks. “In that castle.” Zelda shudders. “You don’t have to say.” Link states.

Zelda carefully constructs her words, “Cold. All the time I was cold. I wasn’t conscious usually, but I wasn’t… unconscious either. I know it makes no sense. I was in a sort of trance. Time seemed to move at a rapid pace while also simultaneously standing still.” She looks at him, rotating her body to face him, he mirrors her.

“Did he ever… say anything?” Link asked.

Zelda nodded, “In the beginning he would whisper constantly, but it was an ancient language I didn’t understand. The longer time went on, the more tired he got, but the wiser I became. He spoke less, and I was able to pick up on certain words and phrases. He didn’t expect me to last as long as I did, that’s for certain.”

Link listens intently, “How did you do it, last so long?” He asks.

Zelda’s big, green eyes meet his. She takes his hand with hers.

“Because I knew one day you would wake up.”

—

Read Chapter four here

[michanvalentine]

Things about Vincent Valentine that I read around and piss me off. Vol.2

"Vincent was too shy and passive. He is an idiot."

Usually in reference to his attitude towards Lucrecia after the breakup. As if he could somehow save his relationship with her (and thus prevent everything else). I say yes, perhaps he could have sought further clarification, but for me the situation has never been so simple and linear.

Ok, let's start from the beginning. First of all, Vincent is a sensitive and intelligent person, with an above-average education. A person who thinks a lot, even too much. So calling him an idiot, especially in such a context, is really having a superficial reading of the character. Honestly, this statement bothers me a lot even when it is extended to the other part: Lucrecia. But that's another story... Secondly, let's remember that the two had a real relationship. In DoC Vincent was never a sort of stalker fixated on Lucrecia despite the unrequited love, as he might have appeared in the OG (unless the remake wants to tell yet another story.) Even Hojo was aware of their love story, in fact when Lucrecia pronounces the fateful "Yes, doctor" he says: "So you've come to your senses and chosen me." And I don't think Hojo was exactly the type to care about gossip.

That said, I would add my interpretation on Vincent's "passivity". A while ago I read a comment, something like: Lucrecia went with Hojo to gauge how much Vincent cared about her, since she thought he hated her due to the Grimoire's death. So she was waiting for Vincent to react and take her away from Hojo, but Vincent was just too shy and passive to do something so outrageous. I couldn't help but respond to this comment like this: This would be a really sick way of demanding attention. In this case Lucrecia would be truly mentally ill and Vincent would simply be a sane person who behaves properly. I believe there are several biases in this regard. First and foremost, the old-fashioned concept of Prince Charming rescuing the damsel in distress. Which I hate. Secondly I don't think Lucrecia left Vincent because she thought he despised her for the Grimoire incident. Otherwise she wouldn't have needed to push him away, because in that case Vincent himself would have been the one to leave her. No, the reasons are different:

Feelings of guilt led her to think she couldn't be by his side. As if Vincent didn't deserve someone as bad as her in his life.

Every time she looked at Vincent, given the extreme similarity, she saw Grimoire again and remembered the event that had traumatized her.

Obviously Lucrecia didn't put Vincent to the test, she was determined to put as much distance as possible between her and Vincent because she felt it was right for him and too painful for her to continue. Stop. The relationship with Hojo is an addition, but also desired for other reasons. She neither expected nor wanted to be saved. Not to mention that Vincent is not Lucrecia's father and had neither the responsibility nor the duty to do so. She is an adult. Certainly, by breaking off their relationship, Lucrecia has also made a decision for Vincent. He didn't object, he passively accepted and stepped aside. But are we sure he could have done otherwise? Are we sure he could change Lucrecia's mind? How exactly? Young Vincent was naive and introverted, but Vincent's passivity in this case was also determined by other factors. Maybe he could have made his feelings about Grimoire's death and about Lucrecia more clear. But at the same time I think it wasn't necessary, because they were obvious. It's Lucrecia who no longer knows what her true feelings are. And she will only be able to clarify them for herself later, in fact at the end of DoC she will confess to Vincent: "I finally realized my true feelings. Even if you may never understand them".

But let's analyze the facts and see how they unfolded. Given the above, at first Lucrecia was so focused on herself due to guilt that she was numb to everything else. Even to Vincent. In DoC, when Vincent discovers the file on Grimoire, Lucrecia yells at him to "stop it". She doesn't want to listen and at the same time she doesn't give him a chance to express himself. Likewise, after apologizing to him, she ran away without giving him a chance to reply. And let's remember that out of the blue he was left by the love of his life for no valid reason, at least from his point of view. Not to mention that Grimoire's death must have been painful for him too. Reacting is not easy when you are confused, grieving and heartbroken. From that moment on, Vincent Valentine was completely cut out of Lucrecia's life. Lucrecia keeps him at a distance, due to points 1 and 2 above, and as a final barrier she puts Hojo in the middle (of course, the scientist is there too for other reasons). In the scene around the table, when Vincent asks her "if she's sure", Hojo really seems like a wall between the two that still prevents direct confrontation. And Lucrecia appears clearly angry that he has come forward with objections. At the Shinra Mansion Vincent Valentine seems to have no say in anything. Lucrecia doesn't give him the chance to argue, Hojo first rudely silences him because he's just a Turk and then definitively closes his mouth with a bullet. But even if silenced, Vincent's feelings and intentions remain evident. Even Hojo knew them, in fact when he discovers that Lucrecia is experimenting on Vincent's body he says: "How happy this fellow must be. Helping his beloved even after he's begun rotting away." Lucrecia herself, through her data, at a certain point in DoC will say: "I pushed you away, but… now I realize, I never wanted to lose you." And again later: "I made so many mistakes. And I hurt you so, so much. Why did I do what I did?" Deep down Lucrecia knew she had pushed him away for her own personal reasons, and not because he despised her or anything. She knew she had made a mistake, of having been blinded by fear and guilt, that she had mortified his feelings and that she had made him suffer for it, especially because the breakup had been practically forced on him. So I repeat: should he continue to chase Lucrecia, proclaiming his love like a crazy in the hope of changing her mind? Let's pretend he had the opportunity (always excluding kidnappings or ambushes). He could have to, yes, but in addition to reiterating the obvious and saying things already known even to the person concerned (after all, if there is something imperishable, capable of overcoming pain, time and even death, it is the love that Vincent Valentine feels for Lucrecia), she probably wouldn't have listened to him anyway. Because, as Vincent would say, "she was always like that, only believing what she wanted to."

[dirtybitfic]

THERAPY PT2

matt sturniolo x fem reader/y/n

contains: therapy session, experimenting, kinks, going to an event.

pink : you blue:matt

your pov-

After I got home from my first session with Matt my mind was running wild .He is so hot and I don't know if ill be able to control myself in my session today.

this past week ive been going through more websites and doing more research on kinks I could have and adding some to my list. Ive also finished two book this week and dear god I didn't think I could find this many new things that I would like but god dark romance has opened my eyes to so many new possibilities. Some of them are very concerning... like in the last book I read the guy bought the girl a collar and made her walk to him as he had a chain link connected to the collar dragging her around on it. Like what the fuck that should sound concerning but if the right man asked me to do it sadly I probably would.

I just got dressed in a somewhat nice outfit I wanted to look good for Matt I know he's just my therapist but for some reason I want him to notice me and maybe even compliment how I look.

skip 30 minutes-

I just parked in the deck and was rushing to get my purse and make my way into the elevator. Its about 6:50 im praying to god I won't be late but again LA traffic was a shit show .

I made it up to the 20th floor and rushed out into the waiting area and up to the desk .

hey y/n matts finishing up with something with his brothers but he said for you too just head back once you got here.

okay thank you you say and making your way to his office.

you knock on the door making sure he knows you’re about to enter

come in you hear a voice say from the other side.

you open the door and walk in seeing not only matt but what you can only guess are his brothers . they all look alike obviously because they are triplets but there are subtle differences.

hi y/n im sorry I was just finishing up with them but have a seat and we’ll get started in a second

okay you say as you walk between them to the chair in front of his desk

hey I like your outfit one of the others say

oh thank you you say smiling as you set your purse down

no problem ! okay matt we’ll head out he says as he starts heading to the door

the other one glances at you smiling you smile back and he gives matt a hug before leaving

see you at home?

yeah but I have an event tonight so i’ll be home late

alright he says leaving the two of you alone in the room.

matt makes his way to his desk.

alright lets get started . How has this week Been

pretty good I did some research on some new things to expand my list

okay and what new things did you find?

well I read about breeding kinks and I realized its definitely something I find intriguing

okay and what do you find appealing about it

I think the way its kind of a possession type of thing like they are claiming me fully by you know "putting their baby in me"

so its the possessiveness of the act that excites you?

yeah I think so

okay next one

okay ummm cuckolding

okay and which side of it appeals you . Watching your partner with someone else or hearing stories about their past sexual encounters?

I think hearing about it . im more iffy on this one . I get jealous very easily so it might not be for me

okay well we can come back to that one later . Do you have more ?

yeah a couple more

okay go a head with the next one

okay um edging...

hmm okay and is that something you would like to do to someone else or have done to you?

to me definitely to me you said quickly with a small laugh.

okay he says chuckling a little bit at your reaction to his question.

What made you look into edging?

um I don't know its kind of like overstimulation right?

yes its a form of overstimulation

well then I guess thats why it sounds like something I could like

okay next one

katoptonphilia I don't know if I said it correctly

okay so mirrors . You like watching yourself?

yeah I guess sometimes . like if a man were to be fucking me infront of a mirror and made me watch myself I think that would be hot

Matt adjusts in his seat. He also has this kink and thinking of fucking you in front of a mirror has him growing painfully hard.

Alright next

scene play...

okay and what is the scene that you most thought of when reading about this one

A teacher and student roll play I guess

Have you ever had fantasies in the past about a teacher you've had?

uhhh yeah actually

What about that teacher were you attracted too?

well I guess his voice it was super deep and raspy and his hands they were huge . There was a couple times he'd come over to help me with my work and he'd put his hand on my back when I got distracted and i'm not even exaggerating it took up almost all of my back.

he looked at you with narrowed eyes and for some reason it made you nervous .

I mean im not a small girl you know what I mean so knowing his hands were that big turned me on

would you say you have a size kink?

oh yeah for sure

interesting ...okay next one.

sensory deprivation

okay and is it sight, hearing or something else that you like with this one

I think all of it to be honest . Ive never been blindfolded but ive always thought it would be fun. I also think that umm if someone took away my ability to breathe for a little bit that would be hot

And how would you want them to take your breathe?

I guess like a hand over my mouth and the other holding my nose or chocking me hard enough to take my breath but not hurt me

okay so that one is definitely something you'd like

yes that is a definite yes

okay is that the last one

umm no ... I have two more

okay he says waiting for you to continue

okay electrophilia

oh hmm okay and what drew you to this one

well after last session and our um ... conversation about punishments . I guess I went home wondering about other ways to be punished and this one caught my eye.

okay so punishments is definitely something you'd like in your next relationship he asks a small smirk tugging at his lips. He had never touched one of his clients before you. Doing physical "demonstrations" was not something he would ever do but when you he had brought it up to you and you said you'd never tried it he couldn't help himself but show you . He had gone home and immediately went to take a shower jacking off to the thought of you.

His mind runs wild when you sit in front of him reading off your kinks and fantasies not only because they match up with his but also because you're exactly his type in not only looks but sexual wants and needs.

absolutely I mean last week definitely opened my eyes to it and I couldn't stop thinking about it so..

mmm okay and what's the last one

okay well I don't know if this one is considered a kink or if so what kink it would be

so is it more of a fantasy ?

I mean I guess so I don't know

okay well tell me and then we can work out what it is

okay umm like a collar ...

a collar he says with a smirk on his face that has you holding your breathe .

mhm you say tight lipped thinking that you said something wrong by the expression on his face

okay explain to me what you mean by a collar... like what is it used for

well okay I read a book this past week where the guy... bought the girl a collar with a lock ... and when she gave him attitude or didn't listen it would shock her and ummm... at one part he connected a chain to a part of it and made her crawl to him and he also dragged her around with it when he got angry with her

you like to read a lot don't you he said remembering last time you said that the books you read corrupted you a bit.

yeah I guess so

so do you think thats something you would actually enjoy with a real man and not just because you like the fictional character?

I mean I think if the right man came along id pretty much do anything for him

hmm he hums looking at you with a gleam in his eye and a look you cant quite place.

I feel like you have something to say about that and just don't want to offend me you say with a tinge off worry but also attitude.

I mean I guess im just trying to figure out what you mean by you'd do anything for the right man . A lot of men would kill for a woman like you

woman like me ? you ask confused as your eyes narrow on him.

I meant in the sense that... if you found a man that was everything you've wanted and gave you everything you've ever wanted and probably more you would worship at his feet... at least thats the impression I'm getting

I mean ... id say yeah . Is that bad? you ask leaning forward keeping intense eye contact.

no I don't think thats bad.

mmm you hum as you sit back in your seat still maintaining the eye contact.

There is a weird feeling in the air . Like there is some tension but you cant quite place why.

how would you feel going to an event with me tonight?

Are you asking to be your date matt? you ask with a small smile creeping onto your lips as your eyes challenge his

Not exactly . The event is for a bdsm club... a high class club that not many people know about but ... you might find someone there that may peak your interest.

hmmm I don't know

You can say no but I thought I might as well bring it up you never know who you might meet and what's the worst that could happen other than having to spend a couple hours with your therapist

I mean i guess It wouldn't be that bad being stuck with you for a couple extra hours you say with a playful eye roll.

funny... so is that a yes?

mmm yeah why not . But ... im not exactly dressed for something like that

yeah well lucky for you I thought about that earlier he says getting up and walking to a closet on the left side of the office

oh so you planned this out huh?

I wouldn't say I planned it but in the case that you said yes I wanted to have something ready for you to wear

he pulls out a long bag that is usually used for clean pressed suits and a pair of black hells hanging on the top of the hanger

how did you know my sizing? you ask kind of confused

lucky guess. he says with a shrug

he walks back over to you as you stand up and he unzips the bag showing you the dress that was seemingly perfect inside the bag.

wow all black huh

I thought id play it safe he says smiling at you .

mmm I like it but matt... I know these heels they cost a good amount of money

meh not that much

you smile at him as he hands you the dress and heels telling you to go change and he will wait for you in his office

you change in the bathroom noticing the girl from the reception desk is already gone . Must have gone over our allotted appointment time again but the crazy thing is when your talking to matt time goes by so fast you don't even realize you've been In his office for 2 hours.

you head back to his office holding your clothes you came in in one hand as your heels clack on the marble floor.

you enter his office as he looks up from his computer looking at you.

you give him a smile and a small spin.

wow you look good he says taking you in with his eyes.

thanks to you ... you know you have good taste in dresses

im glad you approve . Let me just shut down my computer and pack my stuff and we can head out

okay do you want me to follow you in my car there

no we'll take my car and ill drop you off at your car after the event

oh alright you say as you go to grab your purse and phone.

your phone rings and you see its Leslie

go ahead and take that ill start shutting down the lights in here ill meet you in the lobby

okay you say as you pick up and head into the lobby/ waiting area

Hey Leslie what's up

nothing I was gonna ask if you wanted to watch a movie when you get home

oh shit sorry im actually heading to an event right now

what since when

um since 10 minutes ago

with who ?

my therapist....

you mean your hot therapist you wouldn't shut up about this whole past week ... how did this happen

one I didn't talk about him that much and two I don't know it just sort of came up

mhmmm sureee well I cant wait to hear about it when you get home

yep okayyy I gotta go I love you see you when I get home

I love you too and have fun with your sexy ass ... sex therapist

yeah okay ill make sure too have a lot of fun with my sexy hot therapist I really gotta go

okay bye

bye

as you hang up you hear a throat clear behind you.

you gulp turning around to see matt smirking down at you

Fuck he definitely heard me call him sexy and hot . why was he just standing there and why did I not hear him walk out here.

ready to go

mhm yep

you both make your way to the elevators after he locked up and got down to the parking deck.

okay im parked over here he says walking to the left and you follow him to the most gorgeous car you've ever seen.

wow I love your car. Ive always wanted a gt just never had the money for one

I could definitely see you driving one of these he says he smiles at you with a look of admiration in his eyes.

you blushed as he popped the trunk for you to set your things in and then opened your door for you to get in. Then he got in and started up the car.

the interior was red leather that had your crush on him going even bigger.

Not only is he nice, hot, sexy, and exactly your type but he also drives your literal dream car down to a t. How could he get any more perfect.

He start driving out of the parking deck as closer but nine inch nails starts playing.

You've had many of dirty thoughts of things you would do to this song. You rub your thighs together as heat pools between them as your mind runs wild with dirty thought involving matt who's right next to you.

you like nine inch nails? you ask looking over at him

yeah love them but especially this song

me too you say smiling to him

he looks back to the road and god he looks so good driving . The way his large veiny hands grip the wheel and his perfect side profile glows in the dark city lights has you melting in your seat.

You have to force yourself to remember he's your therapist and its not appropriate for you to be having inappropriate thoughts about him.

I have a couple guys I wanna introduce you too while were at this event. But for the most part stick with me there's some older men there that are... not so pleasant and I don't want them making moves on you .

o-okay sounds good you say taking a breathe.

Since this is a higher class club some of the men think they can do whatever they want and have no consequences and the last thing I want is for something bad to happen to you. okay?

yeah I get what your saying you say as you look out the window

new flame by chris brown, usher and rick ross starts playing.

you softly sing along since you its one of your favorite songs

you feel eyes on you causing you to look over at him seeing him smiling at you.

what?

nothing he says still smiling and looking back at the road as your pulling into a very nice drive up to a fancy building.

He parks his car and shuts the car off getting out and going around to your side to open your door .You get out as he take your hand in his and slips your phone in one of his pant pockets.

come on he says leading you up the stairs to the large door where two men stand.

Good evening Mr .Sturniolo one of them says as they open the doors for you both to enter the building

you smile at them as you follow Matt inside and up a set off stairs. The next set of doors enter into a large ballroom adorned with large tables with booth seating and two bars one on the left and right wall.

you wanna grab a drink

yeah sure

he leads you to the bar and orders a glass or bourbon then asks you what you want after you tell him what you want the bartender makes your drink and hands them to matt.

you take a sip and fuck they made it strong causing you to make a face

you okay he asks noticing your facial expression

yeah im fine just stronger than I was expecting

yeah they are a bit heavy handed here

you don't say you say letting out a small laughing making him chuckle under his breathe .

Matt hey how are you a guy says coming upon next to him

Hey Jake Im Good how about you man

eh you know work has been kicking my ass but good otherwise

Glad to hear it man . I actually wanted to find you at some point tonight . he looks over at you . This is one of my clients y/n I thought you too might want to get to know each other

oh wow your beautiful its nice to meet you y/n he says shaking your hand

its nice too meet you too .

He's definitely an attractive guy but the only man your really wanting is your therapist Matt who is standing mere inches away from you watching the interaction.

So what are you looking for tonight

oh I don't know if im looking for anything. Matt said I might benefit from coming tonight so I did

mmm okay well tell me some things your interested in sexually and maybe I can ... be of some assistance

oh ummm I don't know I... you were caught off guard by how direct his question was. Its one thing to talk to Matt about your kinks and wants and needs since its his job but when a random man you just met asks you don't know what to say.

matt steps in and decides to answer for you

She has been wanting to experiment some new things lets just say what she needs to find is the perfect dominant man

Your face flashes red with embarrassment as you look at him and back to Jake.

aww so cute she's embarrassed

you glare at him and he chuckles

I mean I can definitely be that for you . I can give you my number and you can think about it he says stepping closer

you look at matt for some what of an approval to get jakes number.

don't look at me thats up to you

you sigh . Y-yeah sure why not . Matt hand him your phone from his pocket

Jake puts his name and number in your contacts and text himself something so he has your number too.

I hope to hear form you gorgeous he says before walking away

Matt steps in front of you meeting your eyes .

y/n your not gonna find someone if you cant even tell them what you want

oh whatever i just didn't really think he was my type

mhmm okay he says looking down at you

you roll your eyes knowing he's right . You don't know how to tell men what you want thats the whole reason you started going to him in the first place .

okay well if he wasn't your type look around and if someone catches your eye point him out to me

ugh do I have too you ask honestly because to be honest you don't really want anyone here but him but you know you cant have him so just to make him happy you start scanning the room .

You spot a guy with black hair and bright green eyes who looks like he was carved by a greek god and is covered in tattoos .

you quark a smile and point to him.

Hmm Aris kalmin hes a very rich business man but I don't think hes a good pick

and why do you say that

Because you said you wanted not only to be dominated but to also feel taken care of after ... with Aris you won't get that. He is the type of dominant to use you when and how he wants and will not take time to clean you up and make you feel good after

mmm okay yeah you have a point there okay never mind then

you scan the room again not seeing anyone that really gets your a attention .

hey I see someone at the bar I want you too meet

ugh okay you wanted to get a refill anyway . You were already a little tipsy you were two drinks in and since they made each so strong it was definitely hitting harder.

you asked for another drink when you reached the bar

matt going over to a very tall man who had one green eyes and one blue , his chiseled face had a light stubble and his hair was dark and fluffy. His neck was adorned with tattoos and so were his arms. He was definitely your type and now since you were tipsy you had a bit more courage than you did meeting the first guy.

the bartender handed you your drink as you looked back over at matt , him and the guy he wants you to meet are already staring you down with daring smirks on their faces which has your heart racing . Matt motions you over with his hand and you slowly make your way to them across the bar.

y/n this is Theo

hi its nice to meet you

its nice to meet you too matt was just telling me a bit about you

oh all good things I hope you say giving him a playful smile

very.. good things he says looking down at you from his 6'5 height .

you gulp feeling a bit intimidated by his size and the way his heterochromia eyes bore into yours.

you have gorgeous eyes

mm thank you sweetheart he says cocking his head a little as he smirks.

he leans down so his mouth is right next to your ear causing shivers to run down your back as his breathe hits your ear.

imagine looking into them for hours on end as you cum for me over and over

you choke on air as your face gets red and you clench your thighs trying to dull the throb in-between them

mmm I think you'd like that wouldn't you he says coming face to face with you

you gulp and slowly shake your head yes not knowing what exactly to say. You've never had a man speak so directly about pleasuring you before other than obviously your sessions with matt and the conversations you have.

he smiles and stands back up straight

maybe we can arrange that yeah

mhm y-yeah

he hands you his phone with contacts already pulled up you take it and put your name and number in and hand it back.

well it was nice meeting you y/n I hope to see you soon and matt we gotta catch up soon its been a while

yeah man just text me and we can work something out

Theo walks away and matt looks at you smiling

So what did you think of him

y-yeah he seems nice

mmm yeah I bet I saw the way you clenched your thighs when he said something to you

yeah okay whatever you say with more attitude than you meant too.

watch the attitude y/n he says sternly

or what you say tauntingly. Even though Theo was nice and definitely turned you on with what he said Matt was still right there in the front of your mind. Something about Matt just drawls you in and you cant stop no matter how hard you've tried for the past week to keep in mind he's your therapist and there is a line you shouldn't cross you just cant avoid the obvious attraction.

he steps closer to you causing you to look up at him . You sway a bit from the obvious slightly drunk state you're in from the drinks you've had throughout the night.

I don't think you wanna cross that line y/n he says smirking but keeping a deep stern voice.

But what if I do?

mmm he hums leaning down closer so he is mere inches from your ear . I don't think you can handle me sweetheart he says in your ear as he brushes some hair off your shoulder and he places a small kiss just below your ear.

you move your hand to his neck and tug slightly on his hair so you can reach his ear.

One thing you should know about me matt... is that I love a challenge

he turns to look you in the eyes . His jaw is clenched and there is a dark gleam in his eye that has your pulse racing. Your definitely drunk which is giving you a new found confidence . You would have never made a move on Matt sober because again he is your therapist but right now your not thinking with your head.

Come on were leaving he says grabbing you harshly by your arm and pulling you with him. His tight grip elicits a whine from your mouth.

You both hurriedly make your way out of the building and down the stairs. Hes not only dragging you with him by your arm but your also drunk causing you to trip over your heels and fall into him on the last step.

Jesus Christ matt slow down

I don't know who you think you are telling me what to do he says in a tone that for some reason makes you want to cry . Its the tone of a father who's angry at you for doing something you know you shouldn't ... Maybe thats the childhood trauma talking but...

o-okay im sorry

come on he says leading you to the car slower this time

he gets you into the passenger seat and shuts the door harshly causing you to jump.

he gets in and immediately starts the car

Put your seatbelt on now

you immediately buckle in not wanting to test his limits since he seems to already be on edge.

good girl he says before pulling out of the long drive way slightly fast and speeding down the streets then you reach the highway and he drives in the fast lane speeding down the dark highway .

After a second you realize you just passed the exit to get off for his building . He was supposed to drop you at your car after the event...

matt where are we going I thought you were dropping me at my car after

he smiles darkly before answering

Were going to my house

that statement immediately sobered you up.

Fuck me ... his house... I guess he took what I said earlier seriously. I mean I did mean it but I didn't think he'd actually do something about it .

I guess ill have to sit here and wait to find out

Part 3 coming .... 💋

[strixcattus]

Chapter IV: Violence/Passion

He's going to die here.

History

The cabin comes into view blurrily, almost like they’re just waking up. They didn’t doze off in the cabin, did they? That wouldn’t make a very good first impression on the Princess.

Though, this cabin doesn’t look like that first one. Its walls are formed from pale, rough stone, with openings in the sides to serve as windows. The doors are more of the same, cutting quite an impressive figure. Instead of a plain wooden table, there’s a metal altar holding the blade, and a couple loose planks lie askew on the floor. The cabin normally wouldn’t look like this on the first go-around, would it?

So why doesn’t Smitten remember what they did last time?

It’s probably not all that important. Even if he doesn’t remember, surely someone must. He’ll just have to go along.

“Well, boys?” he asks. “Shall we go and see what form our beloved has taken this time?”

No one says anything. That’s rude of them.

No one does anything, either. That’s a bit far for a prank.

“Very funny of you,” he says, listening for any sign that someone else is here. “Yes, you’ve got me this time, good joke, now let’s be off to fulfill our… destiny…”

It’s completely silent. There’s no one else here.

His shoulders drop, and he turns around to face the door to the outside. His body obeys, allowing him to see that the cabin is entirely empty, except for him.

That probably isn’t good.

Maybe something happened to the others. Maybe they’re somewhere outside. Maybe they’ve been tossed about to different cabins like this one.

If they are, he’s sure it’ll all work out. They’re resourceful people. Everything’s going to be fine.

Still, he should try to find them. He’ll just pop down to the basement, free the Princess from her imprisonment, and then the two of them can meet up with everyone else who’s also made their way out. It’ll be easy.

He leaves the blade on its altar. Wouldn’t want to give the Princess the wrong impression, if she has as little memory as he does.

The doors are heavy, resisting his attempts to wrench them open no matter how much he strains. Eventually, one of them folds and scrapes slowly across the floor, and the other follows a little more easily. The stairs beyond are cramped, stone walls pressing in on him, but they don’t look as though they’ll pose any obstacle. If those doors were to decide to close again, though, he might be in trouble.

Oh well. He’s sure the Princess will be more than capable of getting the two of them out, if the doors even do shut on them. The Narrator, conniving scoundrel that he is, is blissfully absent, and he was always the one that tried to meddle.

“Is that a challenger?” the Princess calls from the basement. Her voice echoes off the stone walls. “Finally. I haven’t had a good fight in far too long.”

A fight? Why would she want to fight him? They have the same goal!

Maybe she just got the wrong impression in some time he doesn’t remember. He should say something to put her mind at ease. “Fear not, Princess!” he cries. “I have no ill intentions towards you!”

She laughs. “Is that so? Why don’t you come down so we can meet face-to-face, then?”

This is progress! Probably. She does sound like she’s willing to talk. And he was planning to finish climbing down the stairs anyway.

The basement is less like a room and more like a cave, not much wider than the stairs. The Princess stands at one end, taking up most of the wall, chain in place on her wrist.

A pair of horns rise from her forehead, framing a set of spikes that look almost like the crown she usually has. The skirt of her dress is translucent, with a slit in the side, and a long tail curls around her. Her feet look more like hooves.

She’s beautiful.

Her eyes narrow onto his hands. “No little knife, huh? Did you forget to bring it with you?”

Is she talking about the blade? She must be convinced there’s no way out unless she’s cut free from her chains. “Fret not, fair maiden. We won’t need the blade for this.”

“Is that so?” The Princess grins. “Good.”

Smitten steps closer, reaching for the shackle on her arm. This is going well. He’ll slip her hand from the chains with no problem at all, and they’ll leave the cabin and go see what else is out there… as long as that mirror doesn’t show up again.

It won’t. It can’t. He won’t stand for it.

He should probably ask her name once they’re out, too. But one thing at a time. He’ll slip her hand from the chains…

His back lands on the hard stone floor, sending shockwaves through his bones.

The events leading up to the landing piece themselves together backwards. He landed on the floor because he fell. Why? Because the Princess pushed him. No, pushed isn’t the right word—she grabbed his arm and threw him to the floor. Why? Heck if he knows. All he did was reach for the chain.

He looks back up at the Princess, vision swimming back into place. She’s frowning at him. Why is she frowning at him? She ought to know he has no intention of hurting her, right?

“Are you really going to give up this quickly?” she asks.

His brain hasn’t finished pulling itself back together, so all he can say is, “What?” And, if he were being honest, that’s probably what he would say if he were in peak condition.

“You hit the ground once and you’re down for the count?” The Princess leans over him. “Did you just come down here to toy with me or what?”

Toy with… her? But he had no such intentions… right? “I can assure you, my intentions have never been anything but pure.” He pulls himself to his feet as his vision finally snaps back into one piece. “If you’ll allow me to remove that shackle, the two of us can go at once.”

The Princess looks down at the chain. “What, worried it’ll slow me down? You must be confident.” Before Smitten can figure out what she means by that, she begins to strain against the chain, metal groaning before it finally snaps. She’s free! This is great! “You’d better live up to the figure you’re making yourself out to be.”

“Oh, I would never dare mislead y—” Smitten begins, cut off by a fist landing on his shoulder and throwing him across the room. His flight is cut short by the wall of the basement, head directly striking the stone. Some imperceptible noise echoes in his ears.

Didn’t he just say she could trust him? Why doesn’t she trust him?

The world is slowly beginning to decide it would rather not remain in one place. Smitten wobbles on his feet as he takes a few steps towards the Princess, nearly having to lean on one wall for support. “Why would you… do that… my love…” he wheezes, lungs refusing to cooperate with him.

“What do you mean, why would I do that?” The Princess stares at him, her arms folded. “Why wouldn’t I do that? You did come down here for a fight, didn’t you? Or are you less honest than you claim to be?”

A… fight? He never said anything about a fight or that sounded like it was about a fight or fight-related or anything of the sort… right?

“I’m afraid I… don’t have any idea… what you’re talking about.” He slumps against one wall, legs unwilling to do their job on their own. “All I want is… to set you free.”

“And what if I don’t want to be free?” The Princess takes a step towards him—he thinks. It’s all a little blurry. “What if I want something else?” Another. Probably. “What if what I want is for you to fetch your little knife and fight me?” She’s either right in front of him or still by the back wall. It’s still unclear.

Smitten wobbles backwards. He can’t tell if it’s on purpose or not. “Th—that can’t be right. Freeing Princesses is always the right thing to do.”

The Princess grits her teeth. “You are impossible! Why don’t you start thinking for once so that I don’t have to!” She reaches out with her hand, faster than Smitten can see—not that that necessarily means it’s fast, with the way he is right now—and grabs his throat. “Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to kill you, right now, so you can come back with a half-decent head on your shoulders. And when you do, you’re going to take your little knife, and you’re going to march right down to this basement and fight me.”

The pressure on Smitten’s neck tightens. He’s going to die. He should probably say something nice before he dies. A nice little pre-death one-liner while he’s still pre-death. A nice little… that shouldn’t be too hard…

His meandering is cut off with a pop, or maybe it’s a snap, or maybe it’s more of a squelch or even a crunch. It’s still a little hard to tell what’s going on around him, and more so to put words to it.

But words don’t matter in some cases. No matter what combination of letters accurately capture whatever sound he hears, soon after everything goes dark, and he dies.

He shoots to his feet before he can take stock of the cabin he’s in. That part comes after. The walls are made from a pale, rough stone, with open holes for windows, and the doors to the basement are heavy and carved from the same material. The blade lies on a metal altar—

This is the same cabin.

The Princess’s final words to him dance just out of his grasp. He certainly wasn’t doing all right in the head by the time she killed him, was he? At least that’s over and he can approach her with a clear mind.

It must have been important, though, whatever she said. “I’m going to… you can come back… and when you do… right down to this basement.” There must have been something in between all that…

Oh! Of course! She must have seen how badly he was doing and killed him knowing he’d come back in one piece and be able to hold a proper conversation with her. How thoughtful of her!

He strides over to the doors with a bounce in his step. This time, he knows to brace himself in order to wrench them open.

The Princess is waiting at the bottom of the stairs, arms folded. Her face falls when she sees him. Why would she…?

“I thought I told you to bring your knife this time around,” she says. “Do you just not have it or what?”

Is she forgetting something? Is he forgetting something? “You must be mistaken. We don’t need to cut you free. If you’ll just allow me to—”

She growls. “Did everything that happened last time breeze through your empty head? If I wanted to be free, I would be.” She pulls against the chain, metal snapping and falling to the floor in pieces, leaving only the shackle around her wrist. “Now go and get that knife so we can fight.”

The memories that abandoned ship the moment Smitten hit his head start to drift back. “Going to… take… knife… right down to this basement… fight me.”

But that doesn’t make any sense. “Why would you want me to fight you?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” She narrows her eyes. “Why don’t you? It’s fun. And it feels right.”

Smitten laughs a little as he backs away. “I don’t know if I’d exactly describe it that way, though I suppose… if it would make you happy…” There’s something wrong with this Princess. Not that there could possibly be anything wrong with any Princess—they’re all perfect in their own way—but this one has something wrong with her.

He does a little hop back to the base of the stairs. The Princess continues to watch him. “I’ll, ah, be going to fetch that blade now,” he says. “I shall return posthaste.”

Then he turns and bolts up the stairs, not stopping to catch his breath until he’s well and fully in the upper part of the cabin.

She wants to fight him. But that’s not… that’s not how this works, right? She’s supposed to want to be free. Sure, there were a couple Princesses that had other intentions, but that was only after they’d been wronged and were out to take righteous revenge!

…Did something happen to her in the time Smitten hasn’t been allowed to see? Is she trying to take out her anger on him? But that doesn’t sound quite right.

She wants to fight him. Not to kill him, presumably. Just to fight him a little. She doesn’t look angry—at least she didn’t, not before they properly got to talking. Maybe a little spar could be fun, if it’ll make her happy. She said it would be, so he’ll believe her.

“I hope you aren’t trying to run away,” the Princess calls from below. “What’s taking so long?”

Smitten jumps and scoops the blade from the altar. “Don’t worry, fair maiden! I’m merely steeling my nerves for our battle.” He may as well play it up. If a fight’s what she wants, he’ll do his level best to make it as dramatic as possible.

He steps down the stairs, taking in deep breaths to steady himself. He can’t let the Princess down.

She is waiting for him in the basement, and her face breaks into a grin when he comes into view. “Finally. Let’s get started, shall we?”

“We shall.” Smitten raises the blade, pointing it at the Princess. “En garde!”

The Princess doesn’t waste any time in launching herself across the room, fist narrowly missing Smitten’s face. He ducks past her—she’s tall—and whirls around, catching her arm with the blade as she aims another punch. A few drops of blood fly away from the nick and splatter on the floor.

He didn’t mean to do that.

She seems to take notice, stepping back instead of continuing her attack and glancing at the cut in her arm. It’s shallow, at least so he hopes, but a drop of blood still traces down her wrist as he watches.

“I’m sorry—” he stammers. “I didn’t mean to—”

“No. You didn’t. That’s your problem.” The Princess wipes at her cut with one thumb. “All this and you still don’t get what this is about.” She thrusts her arms out to the sides. “I died and I’m still fine. I killed you and you’re still fine. There are no consequences for us here. We can kill each other all we want, and nothing is going to happen.”

No. No, he was right. This one does have something wrong with her, no matter how he wishes he could look past it.

His hand trembles just enough for the blade to slip from it and clatter on the floor. “But I don’t want to kill you,” he says meekly.

“Don’t think of it as killing me.” The Princess takes a couple steps forward, and Smitten scrambles a couple steps back. Their dance as such is cut short by Smitten hitting the back wall of the basement, allowing the Princess to catch up to him and pick up the blade. “It’s not like I’ll stay dead. Now get up.” She tosses the blade at his feet. It lodges, tip-first, in the stone floor.

He’s going to die here a second time. He’s going to die because he couldn’t bring himself to give the Princess what she wanted. That’s not right. He’s supposed to give the Princess what she wants, but what she wants is supposed to be freedom, and—

The Princess’s fist smashes into the wall where Smitten’s head would have been if he hadn’t thrown himself the rest of the way to the ground. As it is, some of his feathers float lazily through the air as a reminder of what might happen to the rest of him if he can’t keep this up.

He tugs the blade out of the ground as the Princess turns for another strike, and stands to face her. He’s going to die again. She’s going to kill him, and he’s going to deserve it. He’s supposed to be giving her what she wants, because she’s always right, but…

The Princess is always right. If she thinks they can’t die, if she thinks that him trying to kill her is fun, well, she probably knows better than him.

He lashes out with the blade, carving a stripe up the Princess’s arm. She swings at him, fist colliding with his shoulder. Something that probably isn’t supposed to go pop goes pop. He strikes back, this time burying his blade in the Princess’s chest, somewhere in the vicinity of her heart.

The Princess steps back, laughing, the sound wetter than it should be. She grasps the handle of the blade and tosses it back.

Smitten catches it. Then he drops it again as his injured arm decides it’s had enough of its current working conditions and falls limp. The Princess pretends not to notice as he reaches down to pick it back up.

“See? Isn’t this so much more fun than talking?” the Princess asks once they’re face-to-face again.

“I suppose,” Smitten says, unable to get another word out as the Princess launches herself towards him.

He lashes out with the blade again and again, barely deflecting each of her attacks with stripes of red carved across her arms. The Princess’s fists connect as often as not—there’s a crunch as she lands a blow on his ribcage, then a snap as his already-injured arm is well and fully put out of commission, then a squelch that was probably some crucial organ.

He’s going to die here. That’s fine. The Princess said it would be fine.

She steps back as though meaning for her next punch to be her last. “Are you sure you’re really trying to kill me?” she taunts. “You’re not just trying to postpone your own death?”

Smitten tries to answer, to say, No, of course not, I would never dare to imagine going against your wishes, but something is very, very broken in the parts of him in charge of speaking, and all he manages to do is inhale blood.

The Princess seems to notice. “I’d say you’ve only got a few seconds left this time around. Why don’t you make them count?” She holds out her arms. “Go on. Stab me—unless your heart isn’t in it.”

My heart… is always… in everything. Smitten raises the blade with his remaining arm, steadying it as much as he can. I hope this makes you happy. He brings it down with as much force as he can muster, right over her heart.

Then he falls, and none of his limbs opt to catch him.

The Princess continues to stand over him, unfazed even by the blade in her heart. Assuming it even made it to her heart.

Her sitting down beside him is the last thing he sees as his vision fades to a sort of reddish black. “Were you even trying to kill me?” she asks, followed by, “No. You were.” There’s a sound like she’s leaning back against the basement wall. “You’re no good at this. Even if you come back with the passion you had at the end, you still won’t be able to kill me.”

He says nothing, of course. He’s not sure he can even fully understand what she’s saying.

“You’re not meant to be here,” she continues. “If you were meant to be here, you’d be meant to fight me. And you’re obviously not meant to fight anyone.” Her hand lands on his neck, fingers pressing into his feathers as though searching for something. A pulse? Does he still have one of those? “Is there someone else out there who’s meant to be here? Is that what this is?”

If she keeps talking after that, Smitten doesn’t hear any of it. Everything goes dark—darker than it already is—and he dies.

He shoots to his feet before he can take stock of the cabin he’s in. Every piece of it lines up with how it looked the last time, anyway—same pale stone walls, same heavy double doors, same blade on the same metal altar. He grabs the blade without even thinking.

He needs to go back downstairs and apologize. He failed to live up to her wishes. Should he try to make it up to her? Give her the fight she deserves? He did make a promise to her. Or maybe he just thought it. Or thought he thought it. The latter half of the last go-around is a bit fuzzy again.

By the time he reaches the bottom of the stairs, he’s made up his mind. He raises the blade and charges towards the Princess—

—And she catches it before he can close the distance, tip of the blade sinking into the palm of her hand. She twists her wrist, and Smitten’s grip breaks before the blade can wrench free.

“Does your brain just stop working after you’ve been beat up enough?” she asks, tugging the blade out of her hand. There’s a visible hole in the back of it where the tip broke through the other side. “I told you, we’re done here. I’m going to find someone whose heart is actually in this.”

Smitten sputters, still in the process of grasping that the blade is no longer in his hand. “My heart is in this! It would be impossible for me to not put my entire heart into anything I endeavor to accomplish!”

“So I didn’t just disarm you before you could land a hit on me?” The Princess glances at the hole in her hand before tugging on the chains once more. They splinter just as easily this time as they did the previous two. “You’re not cut out for this, loverboy. Stick to writing poetry or whatever it is you’re supposed to do.”

“I can fight!” Smitten follows close behind the Princess as she strides up the stairs. She ducks a little to avoid hitting her horns on the doorway. “If you’ll allow me another chance, I can assure you I will not let you down a third time.”

The Princess glances over her shoulder. “You don’t actually want that.”

“I do! If a fight is what you want, I will gladly—”

She tosses the blade to him, and he fumbles the blood-slicked point of it, barely managing to keep his grip. “You’re just saying that because you think it’s what I want to hear. And it is. Just not from someone who’s lying.”

Smitten extracts his hands from the blade, looking around in vain for something to wipe his hands on that isn’t his own cape. He settles for smearing the excess blood across the cabin wall. “I would never lie to you.”

“Oh?” the Princess asks, eyes glinting. “If you’re so honest, then tell me: Was it fun?”

Of course it was fun. The Princess said it was, and it clearly was for her, and anything that makes the Princess happy is good enough for him. Right?

“I’ve… had more enjoyable experiences,” he finally admits.

She nods and turns her attention to wrenching the outer door open. It’s not as heavy-seeming as the ones to the basement, but maybe that’s just because she’s so much larger than him. It’s not as though he ever tried to open it himself. “There’s more of you, right?” she asks.

“Yes. Several.”

“Then there’s someone out there who doesn’t have to lie when he says he gets it.” The Princess steps back from the door. “Let’s go find him already.”

Smitten nods. “Certainly. Say, before we leave, you wouldn’t happen to have a name?”

She looks over her shoulder. “Adversary. You?”

“Smitten. It’s been a pleasure meeting you.”

The Adversary scoffs. “Suits you. Come on.”

They don’t get more than a step into the outside world before freezing again.

Everything is… meat. The cabin sits atop a hill of smooth skin that collapses into fleshy lumps of meat at its base, and the path, instead of packed dirt or smooth stones, looks more like the bones of a spine. In place of trees, clawed fingers reach from the ground, meat bared to the world and webs of translucent meat strung between their knobby bones. Smitten can’t resist glancing at his own hands and noting the similarity.

“So. Meat,” the Adversary begins. “Not normal.”

“No,” Smitten agrees. “Meat is most certainly not normal.”

The Adversary takes a few steps forward, hooves sinking into the meat with an array of smushes and slushes and squishes and sounds that can scarcely be put into writing. Smitten follows suit.

He can feel the meat between his toes. Also sticking to the bottoms of his feet, and wrapping above his feet. It’s very squishy.

There’s little reprieve from the meat. If he tries to pull his attention away from the sensations beneath his feet, there’s the sound to worry about. If he ignores the sound, there’s the smell of blood filling the air. And that’s to say nothing of the sight—the only place he can look without finding meat is the back of the Adversary’s head.

At least his focus on her means he notices when she suddenly stops walking, and he’s saved the embarrassment of crashing into her. He still almost does, losing his footing on the meat for a second before she catches him.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

She points across the meat. “That’s another one of you, right?”

Smitten follows her arm to the horizon. She’s right. Between a pair of meat hands is a figure wearing a long, black cloak, veil hiding his face at this distance. Next to him is a smaller figure, with a dress and a tail flicking behind her.

He can’t be sure about the second figure, but he certainly recognizes the first.

The two figures pause, clearly having noticed them at the same time. The shorter one turns to the taller as though saying something, but Smitten has no intention of giving them enough time for him to be the one to approach.

He strides across the meat, for once able to ignore every sensory detail of the stuff, and soon comes face-to-face with the worst one of the bunch.

Cold tilts his head to one side. “Oh. You’ve escaped. Good job.”

Leading with sarcasm, is he? Smitten has no intention of allowing him to have his way. He grips the front of Cold’s cloak and shoves him against the nearest meat hand. “I’m more surprised you didn’t leave your Princess rotting in the basement,” he growls. “Are you just toying with her? Does she know what sort of monster you really are?”

The Princess that was with Cold glances between him and Smitten, brow furrowed as though trying to figure out what to say.

“Ha! And here I thought you weren’t a fighter.” The Adversary seems to have no such issues. “Looks like there’s one person you’re supposed to fight.” She steps up behind him with a squelsh—she’s so tall she doesn’t have to strain to get a good look at Cold’s face. “Don’t know if it’s the same way for him, though.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Cold levels his gaze with Smitten’s, still not bothering to struggle against him. “If he actually followed through on his promises, I might be interested in seeing them play out.”

Smitten tightens his grip. “I am no liar. You would do well to mark what I say—I will drag you into the depths of my misery and leave you there to drown.”

“Been there. Done that.”

The other Princess seems to have finally snapped. “Would one of you shut up and explain what you’re talking about?”

Cold shrugs. “It’s not that interesting.”

“Not that interesting?” Smitten shoves him further into the meat with a wet smeesh. “You murdered my true love in cold blood. And so I took my revenge.”

“Was that really intended to be revenge? I thought it was just an attempt at reuniting with your ‘true love.’ Did you think I would mind being stabbed?”

Has he no limit to his insults? “Perhaps I hoped it would snap you into something capable of sympathy.”

The Princess sighs. “We get it. His brain is broken. Can you cut it out now so we can go somewhere with less meat?”

Fine. In the interest of the Princess being allowed to go somewhere with less meat, Smitten releases his grip on Cold’s cloak. Cold remains suspended on the meat hand for a moment, making no move to extract himself, before he peels off its surface with a long, drawn out squueeemch and lands on his knees with a pair of squishes.

“Sticky,” he observes, then stands (with a pair of ssspops) and turns back to the meat hand. “I wonder—”

“Nope! Not going through this again!” The other Princess grabs Cold by the arms and yanks him away from the meat hand. “Let’s go! We’re leaving!”

The Princess leads the procession, dragging Cold behind her despite his weak protests (“One couldn’t kill me, could it?”). Smitten follows close behind.

“If I may, could you tell me your name?” he asks the Princess. “My own is Smitten, and this—” he indicates the Adversary, who is currently trailing at the back of the pack— “is the Adversary.”

“We’re doing names now?” The Princess wrinkles her nose. “Witch is fine.”

Is she… surprised he’s asking for her name? No, of course she is. Of course Cold would never extend such a courtesy. “I’m guessing he hasn’t bothered to make a proper introduction? Allow me to correct such a grave error. This is—”

“I’m Cold,” says Cold.

The Witch turns to stare at him. “Really? In that cloak?”

“He means it as his name,” Smitten explains. “Though I’m not surprised he didn’t bother to adequately clarify.”

Before any arguments can start up again, the Adversary cuts in. “Do you two know where we’re going?”

The Witch shrugs. “Not really. We were following a river, but then it started to look like blood and he—” she jerks her thumb in Cold’s direction— “started asking me how I thought it’d taste, so I dragged him away from it. Now we’re just heading anywhere that isn’t made of meat. Unless you have a better idea?”

“No. Anywhere that isn’t meat is fine. Besides, now we know there really are other people out there.” Smitten hazards a glance back to see that the Adversary’s face has split into a sharp-toothed grin. “Which means there’s someone out there I can fight.”

The Witch whirls around so sharply Smitten fears she may have given herself whiplash. “What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Smitten tunes out the remainder of the discussion. He’s already heard it all. He doesn’t need a second reminder.

[amethystpath-writes]

Entertainment

(NOT A PR0MPT)

******

“I don’t love you,” Hero said. “I won’t love you, even though they all suspect it.”

“Isn’t it disappointing?” Villain asked.

Hero only hummed in question. She felt serene despite the storm brewing in her mind. For now, she would listen.

“To make another human your source of entertainment? You are televised. You don’t see your shepherds now, but there is a show playing in their minds during this very moment. You. Naked in my bed- as if we could ever be lovers. A scandal- because no one can ever be good enough. Nobody is allowed to be The Hero. That person, should they ever arise, must always be eradicated.”

Villain stared at the night sky from the park bench, swollen and wet from the rain which had passed. The dark clouds above appeared so thick that they stretched across space, blocking even the moon from seeing her subjects below. Another storm was being pushed through. “They wait for the day you’re found out- living out any trope that serves them, even if it’s not true of your life at all. Enemies to lovers.” He scoffed. “The new fad. Unfortunate for them, I hate you,” he said, and his eyes never left the stormy clouds. “We are not their love story, and I’ll spite you at every turn for making them think this rivalry could turn to such. Tell me, why did you decide to become their next victim, hero?”

“You make it sound like I wanted them to call me a traitor under their breaths.” Her voice held no contempt. She was too tired for that- for anything besides a quietly piqued interest. “I don’t want to betray them. I fight you because they don’t have the ability to. It’s all for them. It has always been for them.”

“And yet”- Villain shrugged- “what have they done for you? Spread rumors? Spoken to teen entertainment vlogs about their accounts on witnessing our ‘dates’? None of it is real. I tell myself I’m fighting for something, but the truth is, none of us are. Not even you, though you think your purpose is to oppose me- to oppose evil and all that is ill. It’s not.”

Progressively, Hero felt the tips of her ears warming- a deep contrast compared to the cold air around her. “I don’t entertain them.”

“You serve them. Is that phrasing any more to your liking?”

She couldn’t argue that. Hero did serve her community- by fighting Villain, by bringing justice to him. Or…trying to at least. The rumors came with their own consequences. She was outcasted. No one trusted her even though she never gave them a reason to distrust her. Hero fought Villain. That was all she ever did, but one person got it into their head that maybe- just maybe- they weren’t fighting at all. Maybe Hero and Villain were living a fairytale. Maybe they were an item and the fights were all a facade so at least one of them would be praised.

Still, it had nothing to do with entertainment. Hero didn’t want to think of it that way. If she did, it meant she did all of this for nothing. She had no purpose. She wasted her time, energy, and effort.

“Why did we meet here?” It was going to start raining again, and Hero was already shivering. She only met him tonight because doing so meant he was with her, in sight, and unproductive in his schemes. He volunteered her as a distraction; she wasn’t smart enough to say no.

“We might only be a means of entertainment, but I’ve learned to appreciate the act. You and I are not friends, but they think so. There’s a camera- over there…” He pointed to a tree, and Hero cursed under her breath. “And it’s been filming us the entire time. Having casual conversation on a stormy night where no one else would dare relax. Nice and private- though cold, but we’re willing to sacrifice that warmth if it means being together, right?”

“You set me up.” Here she thought she was allowing herself to distract him, but it was his plan all along. Of course he wasn’t wanting to fix this problem. “You said you were tired of the rumors, Villain. That’s why we were here, to lay them to rest.”

Villain laughed and finally looked to Hero. His eyes trailed to her ears, all red from her frustration. It irritated her even more and she untucked her hair. “You aren’t just their entertainment, Hero. You’re mine, too.” He muttered, “So easy.”

She wanted to argue: I’m not your entertainment; I’m Im no one’s, but it would only prove him right. Looking at his smile now, Hero regretted even pulling her hair from behind her ears.

I can fight him now. The camera would see it and the people would know that the two were not lovers at all. But again, she’d be amusing him. Right now, he was expecting her to make a move, to- to retaliate, if only to entertain him more. Yet, if she didn’t do anything, the tape he had now would only confirm in the community’s mind that she was a scandal. Untrue and unfit for being their voice. Would they arrest her?

“I’m all you have now. Your only security.”

Hero shook her head. “No. That’s not true.”

“Then who else do you have?”

The sky was sprinkling now. Fat cold raindrops touched on Hero’s shoulders and she shivered. “They’ll believe me,” she said, though it came out as a whisper. Still, Villain heard.

“Do they believe you now?”

No.

“If you are not with me, you are nothing but a bad face to them. I can give you a new identity. I can give you a new start, one where you can be the one entertained- not them.”

His hand touched her face. She flinched. When had she closed her eyes and when had he stood from the park bench? When did the sprinkling of them sky become thin, pelting drops?

It stung: his hand, the rain, the biting cold, the realization that she was running out of options.

“I don’t need your help.”

“They’ll arrest you. Treason,” he said, and rubbed his thumb across Hero’s cheekbone. “Isn’t that the highest punishable crime?”

Was it? She wasn’t sure.

He was scaring her.

He was scaring her, and it was working so well that she felt herself sweating despite also quivering in the downpour.

His fingers wrapped under her chin while his other hand rested on her shoulder. “I can help.”

“You’re the reason I’m in this position!” Hero tried to rip away, but Villain stopped her with a heavy grip. “I don’t want your help. I don’t want your help.”

“You put yourself in this position by fighting something you had no right mind fighting. You were unprepared, Hero. Ill-advised.” His thumb strummed her cheek again, calming, manipulative. “I only helped you realize.”

The drop on her cheek was warm- a tear, not a raindrop. “You told me we’re not friends.”

“No. I pity you.” The hand on her shoulder fell and Villain wrapped his arm around her back, pulling her into a hug. Instinctively, she turned her head against his chest. His shirt was soaked and cold, but it was comfortable. She stayed, forgetting entirely who he was.

When had the heat left her ears? Was it when the rain started or when she laid her head on his chest? “We’re not friends,” she said, but as she stood in the pouring rain, cheek pressed against Villain’s wet shirt, she couldn’t imagine leaving. Let them have their entertainment, she almost said, but no. She wasn’t supposed to be here.

Almost seeming to read her thoughts, Villain asked, “Who else do you have, Hero? Stand with me in this rain; let it wash away the hero you tried to be, and start anew.”

Thunder crackled across the sky. Hero remained silent. Enemies…lovers…amusement…what did it matter? She was comfortable in the rain, comfortable in the cold. “Will you delete the footage if I agree?”

He hummed.

“Delete it,” she begged, though her head never left his chest. “I want to start over. I would do anything.”

“Will,” Villain corrected. “I have some ideas for you.”

For now, they would leave the open sky, full of lightning and threatened existences. They would leave, and Hero would cry, grieve over her attempted heroism, and look to Villain- of all people- for a shoulder to cry on.

And as all villains do, he would take advantage of her, warp her mind, make her believe that she was wrong to be a hero, that she was a source of entertainment, though we, dear audience, know she was an inspiration all along.

[pamelasmuse]

Easier Than Asking

Rafe Cameron x fem!reader (reader is a Kook but hangs with the pouges, like Kie, but no one knows she if friends with the pouges.)

Summary: Rafe steals the cross and wont give it back. The pouges convince you to seduce him into giving back.

Warnings: Smut, betrayal, not proof read.

A/N: hope you love it. This is based off a fic I read a while ago. If you know the author tag them below so I can give credit. I also might make this a series, I don’t know, so we’ll see.. I guess you’ll find out when you get to the end.

“Please!” Sarah begged. She was sitting on her bed and you had stood up walking to the door. “Absolutely not.” You turn to her looking at her as if she was insane. She runs over stopping you from opening the door. “You do not understand I wouldn’t ask if there was any other option.” You looked at her and her pleading eyes and you nodded. “Fine…”

*

She had just asked you the craziest thing. She told you it was something to help her boyfriend John B. You hung out with him and his friends, you enjoyed it. To an extent you really liked them and you were getting closer. So close infact you had kissed JJ last week at some party. But you weren’t sure you were this close.

“Its quite the favor.” She said. “I need you to get the cross from Rafe.” At first it didn’t seem so bad, you had, had a crush on Rafe since elementary school. So spending some extra time with him didnt seem so bad. Until she continued. “He wont just give it to you.” You scoffed “So what do you want me to do, do you want me to like tie him up until he gives me the cross.” She looked at you. “Oh my god you do.” You lauged.

“Well kinda.”she paused. “Well just use whatever you think is necessary. You kind of have creative liberties.” She looked at you. And thats how you ended up at the door. Being guilt tripped into stealing from her murderous brother, her hot murderous brother.

*

After you had agreed Sarah drove you over to John Bs house so they could brief you on the “mission”. You sat uncomfortably on the sofa outside. JJ was on your left and Sarah on your right. “Thank you, by the way.” John B said as he sat in-front of you. The rest of the pouges also chirping in.

You sighed “I just do not get why no one else could do it. Why not you?” You motion to JJ. He smiles at you. “Well princess I am not liked by a certain someone.” “The pouges have tried to get it back, but Rafe wont give if to us.” John B motions at the rest of the pouges. “And he knows Sarah is with us.” You nod, now understanding.

“So how am I supposed to get him alone?” Kie shifts so she is now facing you. “Flirt with him.” She tells you. You roll your eyes. “You are fucking kidding me.” You sigh. “God why cant I just do something normal, like talk to him?” Sarah moves in her seat. “Rafe tried to drown me the other night.” You gasp. “Are you okay S?” She nods. While touching he neck she begins again. “Rafe wont listen to talking, remember he’s a little crazy.” Everyone laughs. “But I know Rafe and he would never hurt a girlfriend, not that you have to go that far.

“Okay, fine but how am I supposed to I don’t know, talk to him, meet him?” “Well lucky for you the kooks are having some bash tonight and your already on the list.” Pope tells you. Sarah can feel your anxiety so she puts a hand on your shoulder. “Ill be there too, so you can back out whenever you want.” She rubs your shoulder. “But don’t because we really need this.” John B adds. Sarah slaps his knee and glares at him. “Sorry.” He apologizes.

*

You left John Bs with a plan. Sarah dropped you off at your house. You paced for hours. Trying to rationalize what you had just done. And then finally it was 6 and Sarah came over. She helped you pick out an outfit. You picked a blue swimsuit, and a tan cover up. And then finally you were off.

*

By the time you got to the beach it was packed. Everyone on the entire island was there.

Okay… i was going add more but then i got writers block so here it is… maybe part 2

[sattlersquarry]

hyacinths; peonies (steve harrington x fem!reader)

finale of the bloom series. series masterlist

Summary: All things must come to an end...or not so much. (garden center!steve x wedding planner!reader)

Word Count: ~2.3k

Warnings: language, mentions of infidelity and trust issues.

hyacinths: "I am sorry," "please forgive me," sorrow

🪻🪻🪻

You get out of “family dinner” with Jim, Joyce, their kids, and your mother by feigning a stomachache. You cry yourself to sleep, and the next morning, you shine a flashlight on your forehead to raise your temperature.

Your mother comes in your room at 9 a.m. sharp to whisk you off for some last-minute wedding prep before tomorrow’s rehearsal and this weekend’s big event. Thanks to your faux fever and somewhat convincing acting where you clutch your stomach and moan and groan about how bad you feel, she gives you the day off.

“Rest up and drink lots of fluids,” she says. “I’ll check on you later.”

You wallow in bed, thankful that you don’t have to spend the day thinking about eternal love after seeing Steve getting a kiss from the mystery girl. You watch soap operas on the small TV in your rented bedroom, relieved that today’s episodes all surround dramatic events, like car crashes and kidnappings, and that none of them are themed around weddings or love.

The guest house phone rings around noon. Distracted by the episode of General Hospital you’re watching, you pick it up without thinking.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Steve! What’s up?”

You almost choke on the chocolate-covered pretzels you’re scarfing down, causing you to erupt into a coughing fit.

“Hey, Steve,” you say hoarsely. “Sorry, I’m sick, so I’ll see you—”

“Wait!” Steve begs. “Hold on. I saw you at the Garden Center yesterday, but you rushed out of there so fast we didn’t get to talk. Is everything okay?”

“Like I said,” you say sharper than you mean to, “I’m sick. I feel like shit.”

“If you want, I can come by later with some chicken noodle soup? Or something else, if you don’t like chicken noodle.”

God, why is he so fucking nice? It’s making it harder to push him away. But visions dance in your head of Steve and that girl yesterday, and it spurs you to snap, “Goodbye, Steve.”

You hang up the phone and curl up under the covers, closing your eyes and wishing the wedding was over. You just want to go back home.

🪻🪻🪻

Steve, shocked, stares at the Garden Center office phone in his hand. He tries not to be too hurt by your behavior—you’re sick, after all, you don’t owe anyone pleasantries—but after the other night, he thought you two were in a really great place.

But then you stormed out of the Garden Center before you two could talk. Steve wanted to call you last night, but he spent the rest of his shift lugging mulch bags around and was exhausted after closing.

He used his lunch break to call you today, not expecting such an icy reception. Again, it could just be your illness, but Steve worries it’s something more.

Did you see him with Nancy? The realization startles him. Out of context, he and Nance probably looked pretty cozy. You might get the wrong impression.

“Fuck me,” Steve groans, slapping the phone back on the hook.

“No thanks,” Robin says, entering the office. “Why aren’t you eating lunch?”

“I just tried to call Y/N,” Steve says. “And she says she’s home sick, but I really think she’s pissed at me because she saw me with Nancy yesterday.”

“That makes a lot of sense,” Robin says. She perches on the edge of the desk and holds out her baggie of baby carrots for Steve to take one. He does. “She practically sprinted away from here. She couldn’t get away fast enough.”

Steve bites into the carrot, looking much too sorrowful for a man with an “Honor Your Mother Earth” shirt on.

“What the hell am I going to do?” he asks. “Y/N made it clear she doesn’t want to talk to me, but I need to explain that Nancy and I are nothing more than friends.”

“What about a grand romantic gesture?” Robin says. Her eyes shine with excitement. “Ooh! Maybe serenade her with a love song?”

“No, no,” Steve says. “No fluff. I have to be authentic and genuine.”

Although Steve’s break is over, he decides to spend the rest of his shift brainstorming how to clear the air and win you back. Because he wants you, not anyone else.

🪻🪻🪻

When your mother checks in on you later, she gives you a knowing look and says, “If you think I can’t tell that your sickness is nothing more than a broken heart, you must take me for a fool.”

You grimace.

“It’s that obvious?”

“Of course,” your mother says. “But only because it’s an ailment I’m all too familiar with.”

She perches at the edge of your bed and pats your arm. “What did that boy do?”

“I saw him with another girl,” you say with a sigh, picking at a loose thread on your throw blanket. “She kissed him. Just on the cheek, but still. The way he looked at her…it killed me.”

Your mother doesn’t say anything for a few moments. When you finally look up and make eye contact, she’s frowning.

You know what she’s thinking about: your father. How he up and left the family to run off with his mistress, and now he has another family in Key West.

So, you’re shocked when your mother says, “Well, what if that’s his cousin?”

“Uh, excuse me?”

“Did you talk to Steve about it?” your mother says. “Maybe that’s his cousin, or sister, or friend.”

“Friends don’t look at each other like that,” you say, vehemently shaking your head. “He’s cheating.”

Your mother nods slowly. “Hmm. Yes. Well, you’ll never know the true story if you don’t talk to him, will you?”

With that, she stands and exits, leaving you to think about her words.

You’re surprised at her reaction. A few years ago, your mother would’ve been cursing Steve’s name, lamenting that all men are the same: untrustworthy pigs.

Now, a few years after the cheating scandal and messy divorce, she’s more self-assured. She’s less likely to jump to conclusions. But you did, because maybe your parents’ divorce had more of an effect on you than you initially thought.

You try to call Steve back, but he’s already left work when you dial the Garden Center’s number. You call his home phone, and the line is busy.

You tell yourself tomorrow before the wedding rehearsal, you’ll swing by and talk to him. But the day comes, and your mother has you doing last minute wedding prep up until the rehearsal itself.

The man you want to see arrives at the Byers-Hopper residence for the rehearsal dinner, with Robin and a few of Will and El’s friends in tow. Your heart sinks when you see the girl from the Garden Center walking up with them.

Any desire you had to talk to him and figure things out disappears, replaced by a sensation of insecurity and dread. You make eye contact with Steve and his eyes widen. He smiles and waves. You give him a polite smile before beelining back to your mother, asking (begging) her for another chore to take you away from the main group.

“We’re about to do the wedding rehearsal,” your mother says pointedly.

“I don’t need to be here for that, right?”

She glances between you and Steve and sighs.

“Oh, fine. If you really don’t want to stick around, you can head to the main house and fold table name cards.”

You thank her and zip away, the mindless activity a reprieve. However, 15 minutes later, you hear the back door open while your back is turned.

You assume it’s your mother and say, “Okay, so where should I put—oh.”

It’s Steve. He’s standing in the doorway, face pale, gripping a bouquet of purple hyacinths.

“Hi,” he says quietly. “Can we please talk?”

You clear your throat and turn away, back to the name cards.

“Sorry, I really don’t have time right now—”

“Please?!” Steve repeats, voice cracking. “I think I know why you’re upset, and I just want to explain.”

You sigh and sit in a kitchen chair, gesturing for Steve to sit across from you.

He hands you the hyacinths, with you gingerly accept.

“Who is she?” you blurt out before he can say anything.

He swallows hard.

“My ex-girlfriend. But we’re not together anymore.”

You nod, hating yourself for sounding so small when you say, “She kissed you.”

“I know,” Steve says, closing his eyes like he’s in pain. “But it’s not like that. Nancy and I are just friends now. We’re better as friends.”

“Right.”

“I promise,” he repeats firmly. “Nancy is Jonathan’s girlfriend—that’s why she’s here. Y/N, I’m really enjoying spending time with you, and I like you so much. I’ve never felt this way before. I’d never cheat on you. Never.”

You believe him. Mostly. But something itches in the back of your mind. A seed of distrust, planted years ago the first time you caught your father in his study, whispering on the phone with his mistress about a phony business trip.

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions,” you say, unable to look him in the eye.

“No, please don’t apologize,” Steve says. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

You pluck a petal off a hyacinth, squeezing it between your fingers.

“My dad cheated on my mom,” you blurt out, before you can stop yourself, surprised at your own honesty. “So now I kind of have trust issues.”

“Well, we have that in common,” Steve sighs. “Are all dads assholes, or are we just unlucky?”

You laugh despite yourself, feeling some tension dissipate. Steve must feel it too, because his shoulders relax.  

“Can we start over?” Steve asks with a shy grin. He sticks out a hand to shake. “Hi, I’m Steve. I work at the Garden Center. What’s your name?”

You almost want to run away, embarrassed that you jumped to all the wrong conclusions about Steve. But the expectant, earnest look on his face makes you stay. Makes you smile at him, shake his outstretched hand, and say, “Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

peonies: happy life, happy marriage

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!”

Hopper and Joyce embrace and kiss, the crowd erupting into cheers.

The wedding went off without a hitch—just like you knew it would. Now, your time in Hawkins is almost to a close.

At the reception, you stand off in the corner of the yard by a willow tree and watch the newlyweds and their guests tear it up on the dance floor.

Your mother has finally freed you from your wedding-planning duties. She promises to handle any last-minute emergencies and let you enjoy yourself.

Enjoy your time with Steve, you know she means. She looked thrilled to see the two of you emerge from the Byers-Hopper house holding hands after you cleared the air yesterday afternoon.

You see Steve navigate through the crowd, holding two champagne flutes aloft. He darts to the side just in the nick of time as Jonathan Byers’ friend Argyle starts to electric slide into his path.

You snicker at the sight as Steve approaches.

“Hey, cut that out,” Steve says, handing you the drink with a mock intense expression on his face. “I almost got bowled over for these.”

“I saw,” you say. You jokingly pat his cheek and add, “You’re very brave, Steve.”

He plays along, preening under your fake praise.

“I know.”

After drinking, dancing, drinking some more, eating, and watching Jonathan’s face turn firetruck red when Nancy catches Joyce’s bouquet, you and Steve find yourselves swaying on the dance floor to an instrumental of “Unchained Melody.” The band your mother hired really is quite good.

You don’t want to ruin the moment, but you need to know.

“Hey,” you ask, hoping the hands slung around Steve’s neck aren’t shaking. “You still want to do this, right?”

“What do you mean?” he asks softly.

“Like, this,” you say, a little embarrassed as you gesture between the two of you. “Because I’m moving back to Eagleton tomorrow. But I really like you and I hope we can make this work.”

“I really like you, too,” Steve says, his cheeks flushing peony pink. “So, to answer your question, hell yes. I want to do this. Whatever ‘this’ entails.”

“Driving two hours round-trip to see me?” you prompt, bracing yourself for his response.

“Oh, absolutely! We can alternate visiting each other on weekends. And talk on the phone during the week. And just, you know. See where ‘this’ goes.”

The two of you lovesick goofs smile at each other, continuing to slow dance even as the music changes to something upbeat.

If you or Steve could predict the future, you would see a few important things. You would see the many months of weekend trips before Steve moves to Eagleton to share an apartment with you.

You would see the proposal — a quiet, understated thing at home with no witnesses except the cat you and Steve adopted on your two-year dating anniversary.

You would see your own wedding, planned by your amazingly talented mother of course. And she’s the one you have walk you down the aisle.

You’d see birthdays and holidays and romantic getaways and babies being born and growing old together. You’d watch your whole life with Steve bloom ahead of you, filled with all the wonderful things life should be.

But right now it’s 1987, and you’re dancing at a wedding with your new boyfriend Steve, and you can’t predict the future but if you could, you’d be really damn happy about it.

💐💐💐

A/N Thank you for reading along with this mini-series! :) I wanted to get the finale posted before the official start of fall. now it's time to pivot to spooky things perhaps, or an orange juice sequel...

tag list for this particular series!! @quinnkeerys @spicysix @keerysquinn @sunshinesteviee @inkluvs @stevebabey @0vix0 @lame0o @ghostlyfleur @starry-eyed-steve @hollandweather @lurkingprincess

[natsmagi]

tbh you should just sexualize your fem Tsumugi more. I'm talking full on fetish hentai style. Put her in the open boob sweater. Have her accidentally flash while leaning fowards. Have her slip and show pantsu. Full kink with no breaks. Please shut these anons up. People trying to police your creativity like it has some sort of reflection on your morals or beliefs. I also wish you would stop answering them? or at least tagging it as anon hate because it's so sad to keep seeing people be so mean to you over and over when most of us just want to enjoy your big brain takes and drawings. Maybe I'm getting parasocial bc I get so sad seeing people hate on your Tsumugi I love her she's just like me fr!!! All that matters is that you enjoy how you draw her and I hope you don't feel pressured to change your headcanons.

HWEISUHRUHKDHG I SHOULDDDDDDDDD I SHOULD UR RIGHT ive been too prudish as of late. need to be insane again. Tbh ive made some art that was made purely bc i am a freak and insane but i feel like its never the art people would expect it to be. And thats really funny to me. like my more explicit stuff is just drawn for fun But if uve ever looked at a drawing of mine and gone "this seems kind of freakish conceptually even though the execution isnt super weird" Well thats probably bc it actually is freakish. sorry. My suggestive art is usually just for the vibes tho i DID also like. yesterday?? discover a twt acc that will sometimes post various lingerie fits SO!! MAYBE ILL DRAW SOME SOON 💪💪

AND AUGHHH I KNOWWWW in the beginning i thought itd be worth replying to people bc i was like "well this is all kind of niche. im sure they have good intentions so we might aswell talk it out" But as things progress its been made clear thats doing me or anyone else no favors. i love having discussions, so i reply to most of my asks! but i do hope that ive made myself clear enough and that we can all just continue doing our own things im sorry to hear its made you sad though!!!!! rest assured its not something that demotivates me, nor is it something that makes me feel i need to change how i draw. i do what i do because i enjoy it! and i know others enjoy it too! i will never be able to appeal to everyone, and that has never been my goal. i like having fun with others though, which is why i enjoy hearing why others might think differently than me!

but yes! i already feel ive said my piece on the whole discourse thing by now and i hate walking in circles, so even if i get negative asks about it i likely wont answer unless i feel its warranted. but! if that does happen, ill be sure to tag it! you can mute "#discourse tag" ahead of time incase i ever end up using it

[chaoticspeedrun]

Donnie x fem! Reader The little merturtle 3

Summary: Prince Donatello was the third of four brothers, the prince of an underwater yokai city, but he has always been searching for something else far more interesting than the mystic arts he is used to, he wants to know everything about the human world, their traditions, their creations... But when he finds himself entranced by a human princess it might just be the last push he needs to make his dream of exploring the land a reality.

"Without listening to Raph trying to stop him, Donnie hurriedly gulped down the fuchsia liquid, it went down quickly to his brothers' dismay, and he left half of it untouched.."

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, tooth-rotting fluff

PREV • MASTERLIST • NEXT

The alchemist and the queen

A pair of eyes stared at Donnie as he sobbed at the bottom of his treasure cove, now only filled with piles of dust and burnt memories, the gargoyles slowly came out of hiding, swimming in circles around him.

“Oh, poor guy” Huginn said “That was really tough, don’t you think?”

His companion nodded sympathetically while Donnie raised his head to see them, a glare prominent between his brow “Oh, yes it was, I didn’t expect king Splinter to treat one of his children like that! It was so unfair.”

“Yes! So unfair!”

“What do you want?” Donnie snarked “That was private, don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong” He growled.

“Man, sorry! We’re being rude Huginn” Muninn said, and Donnie heard Huginn apologize “We don’t have any ill will, we were just passing and hear the whole thing, it sounded like someone was in trouble.”

“Yeah, and after what we watched we just wanted to see if you were okay” Huginn finished, Donnie loosened his guard slightly, he was way too tired to fight them now, the crying had taken away all his energy and he just wanted a long nap.

Before he could tell them to leave again Huginn spoke once more “The collection you had was incredible, oh I love human stuff”

“Yeah! Master Draxum has a lot of their things lying around” Muninn said happily, grabbing Donnie’s attention.

“Draxum?” The turtle asked.

Hook.

“Oh yeah, you’ve heard of Draxum right?” At Donnie’s deadpan look that said he absolutely didn’t or he wouldn’t have asked Muninn continued “He’s a great warrior alchemist! He has been experimenting with human DNA since forever, he and Big Mama used to work together but that was, well, it was when Big Mama was still queen.”

Donnie raised an eyebrow, he had heard about Big Mama, at least briefly, but she had been long since dethroned by his father when Donnie was just a guppy, the only thing he knew about her was that she was dangerous and had been exiled because of that.

But of course, he thought bitterly, his father didn’t tell him many things it seemed.

“Why would he experiment with human DNA?” Donnie asked.

Line.

“Well usually Big Mama would give favors to her most valued subjects and a couple of times the requests were for them to be able to walk on land with the humans, with her magical powers as an energy source and Draxum’s alchemy they managed to find a way to give yokai the ability to live up top and vice versa, it was a time when both humans and yokai coexisted!”

Donnie’s eyes widened and he could have gotten whiplash with how fast he looked back at the gargoyle; the words that had just been spoken to him seemed like an impossible fairytale, it couldn’t be true, could it? A time when humans and yokai interacted together.

His mind went into overdrive, piecing all the puzzle pieces together, the mandate for yokai to not get in contact with humans was only put in place when his father acquired the throne, maybe that was how he himself had learned of yokai while being a human?

Donnie gulped loudly, his father had said he was ‘turned into this’, maybe the two of them had done that? And maybe that was why Big Mama had been exiled.

His eyes shifted between the gargoyles “So Draxum could help yokai walk on land?”

Huginn nodded “Definitely, why? Are you curious? It’s only natural, humans make so many cool things, it just makes sense.”

Donnie hesitated for a moment, he looked down at the pieces of debris covering the floor of his cove when he found it, his eyes paused wide on a piece of rock that had been separated from the rest, your statue had broken mostly in tiny pieces, except for your face, it lay there right in front of him sending a pang through his chest again, of both sadness and anger.

It pushed him to make a choice.

“Guide me to them” He ordered.

Sinker.

Huginn and Muninn smiled at him “Sure buddy, come on! Follow us.”

Swimming around in circles somewhere still in the reef were Raph and his two brothers.

“I didn’t mean to tell” He swore, “It was an accident!”

“We know, big guy” Leo said, kicking a pebble with his tail.

“We just need to give Donnie some space, what happened was…” Mikey cringed “Devastating to him, to say the least” He muttered, it didn’t make Raph feel much better.

He was about to say something else when they both heard Shelldon calling out to them, they turned to see the little turtle hurrying their way.

“Dudes! It’s Donnie! He’s going with some gargoyles far away from the limits!” He explained rapidly.

The guys all looked at each other worried “Which way was he going?” Leo asked.

They soon caught up to their brother who was swimming along the gargoyles, Raph recognized those gargoyles, he’d heard tales from the castle’s servants when he was little, of a banished alchemist and his subjects, it made him hurry as his mind alerted him of danger.

“Donnie!” Raph called swimming close to his brother “Where are you going?!”

“I’m going to see Big Mama and Draxum,” Donnie said in a monotone, a firm frown still set on his face that told his brothers he didn’t plan on changing his mind or listening.

Raph still tried “What?! Donnie no! Draxum is dangerous, he’s a demon!”

“Why don’t you go tell father Raphael?” Donnie bit back, looking at his brother for just a moment before continuing on his way “You’re good at that.”

Raph faltered slightly but Mikey gave him a reassuring look and the three all followed their brother into the lair of the exiled queen and warrior.

Donnie shivered and swam faster, wanting to get to the end quickly, maybe this was a bad idea.

“Wow” Donnie winced once they reached the entrance “Stunning choice of décor,” He said sarcastically, looking at the dry algae laying around the unkempt place, he saw then something that petrified him, in between the algae there was something else, something alive and looking dry, many of them shriveling where they stood stuck to the walls of the cave, some beings with eyes, staring straight at him.

One of those things took grasp of his arm and he gasped, pulling rapidly, grossed out by the thing, and feeling nauseous, he managed to unlatch it from his wrist, and without looking back he reached the end of the tunnel as fast as he could.

“Come in, come in~” A feminine voice called out to him, Donnie breathed heavily after the experience but turned to see a yokai with pink skin and white hair looking back at him with a sweet smile. “Oh my, you look so white! Such worry is not good for your emerald complexion, here, sit, sit, I’ll get you something to drink.”

The woman guided him to a seat and Donnie by reflex sat, now holding a flower in his hands as a cup, he recovered from his panic and looked attentively at the woman with skepticism “Are you Big Mama?” He asked.

“That I am turtley-boo, oh look, your brothers are here” She said smiling at the other three turtles that swam in with caution. “come, come, I do not bite, oh it’s been so long since we’ve had guests” The woman hummed, her attitude and his brother’s presence –Though he’d deny it— calming Donnie slightly and apparently his brothers too who while still weary sat down next to him.

Before Donnie could get to the point of his visit she spoke again “Now, you’re here because you have a thing for this human, a human princess at that! You certainly know how to choose them, darling, she is quite a catch.” Big Mama said nodding her head approvingly but making Donnie tense up once again.

“How do you know that,” He asked with his eyebrows furrowed, Mikey was surprised he didn’t deny it.

“Oh dear turtley-boos it used to be my job, as you might know, to know everything about my subjects, to help the hidden city prosper! And of course, you do not remember me, but I was right there the day you were all created” She hummed knowingly making them all look at her questioningly “Oh you were such adorable little turtles just before Draxy made you into what you are, better, stronger! So powerful and intelligent!”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, that’s nice and all, uh? Auntie? I guess, can I call you auntie? But I’m sorry, you just said we were ‘created’? As in, you know, do you mean born? “Ok, no, I’m confused about whatever you’re going on about” Leo blabbed looking for an explanation for this whole entire messy affair.

Big Mama hummed “You’re right, that’s so rude of me, perhaps Draxy can help me explain, Oh Draxy~!” She called out and from another room inside the cave a goat yokai walked out, firm in every step he took, way more serious than the old queen attending to them.

He didn’t have a friendly look to him, Raph thought, no wonder Big Mama was the one greeting guests with that attitude.

Draxum greeted them all as if he knew them personally to their shock, the two gargoyles hanging from his shoulders “It has been too long, my warriors.”

“Thank you, yes hi, this only raises more questions” Leo groaned loudly.

It wasn’t for long, the two exiled yokai used a magical orb to show them the day of their ‘mutation’ is what they called it, or bits of it at least, not that the boys would know.

It was explained to them how with Splinter turned into a merman they were mutated from mere turtles to merturtles and how Splinter was accidentally mutated into a rat afterward, what was left clear was that Draxum had created them, to Mikey that essentially made him their second dad and Big Mama had been there that day, working as the power source that helped in their creation.

“Your father and I had our disagreements” Big Mama looked sad, only Leo wasn’t buying it “After he was rejected by the human world he started going against all of our work in uniting both worlds, Draxum and I were exiled out here because we were the last connection between both” Big Mama lamented but then smiled softly at Donnie “Poor turtley-boo, longing to be understood, for a world he cannot have, humans are so full of curiosity aren’t they? Just like you, is that why you crave it so much? But thankfully, you found us, and what could be better for the relations between humans and yokai to thrive again than an alliance between the royalty of both worlds? Oh darling, wouldn’t it be beautiful?”

Donnie’s heart was beating hard in his chest with those suggestions, was it possible? Or was it dumb for him to believe? But his mind kept telling him that everything was right there in front of him! Draxum and Big Mama had just placed all of their cards on the table, while his own father had hidden the truth from them for their whole life!

His chest filled with hope when he saw how Raph and Mikey were much less tense, processing the situation with softer eyes, he could even see Mikey smile slightly.

Leo though wasn’t buying it at all, he could tell something wasn’t right.

“Donatello” Draxum spoke this time taking Donnie’s attention “Follow me for a moment will you?”

Donnie looked from the yokai who stood up to walk through one of the halls to his brothers, Leo was about to stop him but Mikey spoke first “Go! We’ll be right here!” He said cheerily and Raph agreed hesitantly, they were right there after all.

Donnie followed the yokai and they walked silently for a moment “Child, your curiosity is not a fault, in fact, without people like you our world would never get anywhere” The yokai assured finally looking back at the merturtle who was giving him his complete attention, his words reassured Donnie, no one had ever truly understood his fascination with the human world but this yokai had been working with humans before he was born, and Donnie, well Donnie craved the approval, he started smiling smugly at the older yokai’s words.

Draxum continued speaking “It is the intelligence you were blessed with that would make the world you seek a reality, do not let anyone fool you, here” Draxum stopped in front of a table filled to the brim with colorful potions, shining bright with unnatural colors, he took a fuchsia-colored one that reflected its light on his skin.

 “This is the potion that you need, the only way to get what you want is to become human yourself, it requires a strong energy source which Big Mama will help you with, after finishing the correct ritual you will be fully transformed.”

“A human?” Donnie was hesitant before questioning “I heard you helped yokai walk along humans.”

“Well that is true” Draxum agreed, Big Mama and the rest of Donnie’s brothers entered the room then, listening by the door “However I fear humans have not seen yokai for decades, it might be dangerous if you kept your form, looking like a human would help you socialize with them,”

Donnie nodded his head and his father’s words from before were back in his mind.

“That human you saved may have been grateful the moment she breathed, but once she realizes who saved her, she won’t look at you as a hero but a monster.”

It pained him slightly to think it might be true, a new insecurity had made its way into his mind, turbulent as it was already through so many events, but with that potion, he wouldn’t have to worry about that, if he could meet you as a human then –his heart beat a little faster— his chances with you might be much better, and eventually, he could tell you who he truly was, once he knew you’d be open to it.

Donnie nodded taking the bottle in his hands, Big Mama placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Now, before anything you must know this first, every spell has to be extremely specific and it has a cost as you boys may know” She began explaining “The potion and my magic will make you human for one month! It is very important that you keep track of the time because before the sun sets on the last day you need to make the princess fall in love with you.”

“What?!” There was a chorus of the four turtles exclaiming at the same time.

“But why?” Donnie asked blushing wildly.

“Well, the terms and conditions settle with a true love kiss as many do, I’m sure you know, but don’t worry I am sure you can do that!” Big mama pinched his cheeks, and he batted her hands away “The reason for that is the cost of the wish, to keep the form and remain on land for more than a month would be too expensive, only the true love kiss may seal the magic then.”

Donnie grunted in acceptance, he knew how costly spells could be and this wasn’t a simple one, his request was huge.

“If she does kiss you before the end of the month you may remain human, permanently! But if she doesn’t, you’ll turn back into a merturtle.” Big Mama finished.

Raph looked like he was about to say something, to pull Donnie away and tell him he shouldn’t go through with it, Leo beat him to it.

“That’s it?” He asked doubtfully “He’ll just be back, no other consequences?”

“Oh Poseidon, no” Big Mama assured, “Just like that! The only thing I ask of you Donnie is that you reunite our worlds, after all, you wouldn’t want to leave your brothers behind surely, nothing would be more perfect than that.” She said, turning to Donnie.

He was excited, a moment ago all his dreams seemed to have shattered into a million pieces and now he had a chance to explore the human world and its wonders like he had wanted his whole life and he could meet you! Properly, like he had wanted, there was only one more thing he needed to ask, even if he just wanted to dive right in for the potion before his brothers decided to pull him away.

“What is the cost to transform in the first place?” He asked and the attention of his brothers went back to the exiled.

“Your voice” Big Mama answered easily.

Raph gasped “His voice?! How is he even supposed to make the princess fall in love with him in a month if he can’t even talk?”

Donnie winced, his brother did make a good point, of course, the situation couldn’t be so perfect.

“Oh don’t worry, there are so many other methods of communication my dear! I am sure you will figure one out, and if she truly is worth it, I’m sure she won’t mind! So, whenever you want turtley-boo! You only need half of the potion and I’ll make the contract.”

“Donnie” Leo spoke quietly close to his twin “I know you want this but I don’t trust Big Mama, there’s something they’re not telling us.”

Donnie rolled his eyes “Oh come on Leo, this is my chance! This is the only way I would ever get to see the human world!” Donnie’s voice made Leo deflate “If I tried anything else dad would chain me down to the castle’s floor, I’m ready.”

Without listening to Raph trying to stop him Donnie hurriedly gulped down the fuchsia liquid, it went down quickly to the dismay of his brothers, and he left half of it untouched.

Rays of golden color started enveloping him, coming out of Big Mama’s hands, her eyes now glowing white, and a piece of paper floated right in front of Donnie, he took the pen in front of him and quickly signed his name on the paper, he tried to read its contents while doing so but only got so far because once his name was fully signed in it disappeared, the golden light turned green and Donnie started feeling a scratch on his throat, he coughed loudly before feeling like the water left his body.

His brothers looked at him in panic and determined Leo took the bottle with potion out of his grasp, chugging a whole gulp of it in before reaching out towards Raph and forcing the drink on the eldest’s mouth who coughed wildly after that having been taken by surprise, Leo did the same with Mikey and pulled them both toward were Donnie’s transformation had just begun.

“Wait!” Draxum yelled but the three other turtles were engulfed in the light too.

Mikey watched in terror as Donnie yelled, his tail separating in an instant and suddenly there was a pair of feet where it used to be.

He himself started feeling weird, but on his upper body, before he could think about it though Mikey felt someone pulling him to Donnie and he realized then that his brother could not breathe under the water anymore.

Donnie’s lungs felt like they were on fire, he was clawing at his throat and realized his gills were gone, he tried to pull himself up, but thankfully he was dragged up out of the cave by some pairs of…fins?

They reached the surface and Donnie gasped, breathing heavily, the air was sweet salvation from all the pain he’d just endured, two bodies pushed their way under his arms, pulling his tired body toward the shore, belatedly, he realized the fish pulling him forwards were his own brothers, transformed into fish, or well, Mikey was a fish, an overly grown goldfish.

It made Donnie wonder if they were more related to Piebald than they’d originally thought.

Raph however, looked like a full-grown alligator snapping turtle, it must have been the effect of drinking just a bit of the potion without the contract Donnie had made with Big Mama.

Donnie was deep in his delirium, trying to make sense of what was happening to deviate his mind from the pain he had just experienced, so he looked for Leo, assuming surely that like his tail he’d become a sailfish after the spell.

They were about to reach the shore, but Donnie couldn’t stay conscious any longer, unable to find Leo to distract himself, he blacked out.

You were walking outside the castle, the building lifted from the sea but overlooking it by rocks and pillars, you rested your back against one of its walls while Mayhem played around close to the water, Mayhem had always seemed to love the sea as much as you did, sometimes it seemed like if you left him alone he would swim deep into the waters like they were home.

Your smile was soft but was soon eclipsed by your thoughts as they wandered back to a couple of days ago, your mind kept repeating the words of your savior over and over again, it made your heart flutter, what you remembered him saying about wanting to know your world and you, you wondered what he meant exactly.

You were snapped out of your daydreaming by a bark from Mayhem, sighing softly you pulled yourself away from the wall and started walking away from the castle.

“Do you think Casey is right?” You asked your companion with a small frown “Maybe a did drink too much seawater? I mean I swear I saw a tail disappear into the water” you chuckled humorlessly, worried that so many mermaid tales had just messed with you that day and you had just imagined an impossible romance.

Mayhem’s bark in response made you smile again “You’re right, I can’t just give out hope already, right? I know what I felt that day” your confidence returned, at least slightly, maybe you should go around town again. You weren’t able to see him properly that time but you were sure you’d recognize his voice anywhere.

Donnie felt the beginnings of a headache and groaned while recovering consciousness, he must have been laying on the beach because he could feel the sand beneath his…actually, his back felt weird over the sand.

His hand reached up to his head to get rid of the headache when he felt it, Donnie jumped up to sit up straight at the feeling of five fingers on his forehead instead of three; his eyes examined the foreign hand in front of him with fascination and his expression turned gleeful at the realization of what he was looking at, a five-fingered hand in golden brown that was his own.

His gaze went down quickly to where his purple tail would rest to find in its place a pair of legs the same color as his arm, he was human! He was truly human! He moved his feet in fascination, the fingers moving almost one by one while his hands were flapping rapidly; he was so excited he could scream!

No sound came out of his mouth, but he was too elated to care or notice at that moment.

Mikey gasped with sparkly eyes “Donnie! You’re human!” His little brother screamed like he hadn’t noticed already “Ohmigosh, you look so weird but so cool! But what will dad say?! Oh what if he finds out, wait of course he’s gonna find out, oh and I’m a fish now, he’s gonna be so pissed, maybe he’s worried already! What if he comes looking for us? What if he mobilizes everyone and—”

“Mikey!” Raph called out beside him “Calm down! We can’t panic now! No one panic!” He said, already panicked, his eyes barely leaving Donnie who still looked too excited to care about what was happening around him, he was trying to stand up on both legs, at first, he almost fell down, but he managed to hold himself up, even though his legs trembled under his body.

That was until he heard Raph’s next words.

“We need to go back and tell pops, I should have done that the moment you started swimming to Draxum” Raph’s words sent Donnie into a frenzy, he reached out to his now more of a turtle brother, shaking his head over and over to express his discontent “Don’t shake your head at me, young man! Look at what’s happening! Maybe we can get Big Mama and Draxum to turn you back and give you back your voice! We’d go home and back to normal, then you’d just be…”

Raphael’s rant stopped slowly while he stared into his brother’s eyes which were just the same despite his human appearance, Donnie looked pained and it sent guilt straight into the core of Raph’s being “Just be…miserable for the rest of your life” Raphael conceded looking down at the sand and sighing, yes, he was worried, but it wasn’t fair of him to take away his brother’s final chance at everything he had ever wanted. He sighed before looking back at Donnie “All right all right, we’ll find that princess and get you that kiss.”

Donnie grinned wildly, his legs unconsciously moving up and down under him, making him unstable for a moment before he steadied himself again, he only then noticed one of his brothers must have covered him up with an old boat sail while he was unconscious because it was tied around his figure, ignoring that, for now, he instead punched the air to show his excitement, his brothers chuckled at him looking much calmer now.

“All right! We’re getting Donnie his smooches and giving dad a vacation, let’s go!” They heard Leo’s voice call out and looked around but couldn’t see anything “Right here big guy, ugh it’s weird calling you that instead of Raph” The merturtle mumbled.

Instead of what Donnie thought he’d find his eyes stumbled into a tiny red-eared slider turtle looking at him from over a rock and the now man couldn’t stop himself from falling backward on the sand as he tried to recover his breath, laughing soundlessly but wildly at the appearance of his twin brother.

Raph’s and Mikey’s laughter was much louder, and Leo only rolled his eyes “Oh give it a rest, would you?! I do all of this so we can help Donnie out and all I get from you guys is mocking!”

“You turned us into turtles and a fish!” Raph exclaimed “We don’t even know how to get back to our bodies! And how is Mikey going to follow Donnie on land?”

“Well yeah, I didn’t know what exactly the effect would be on us” Leo mumbled almost in a whisper “But! We do know when we’re going to be back to normal! We didn’t make a contract and only took a small dose of the potion, in a month regardless of what happens the three of us will just be back to normal no worries! Right, Donnie?” Leo said confidently and Raph looked from him to Donnie with skepticism.

Donnie who’d just recovered his breath looked thoughtful, he considered what Draxum and Big Mama had said and it seemed about right, he nodded in reply and started looking around for his mask which was nowhere to be seen, while he marveled about it being gone and realized finally that there was hair where it usually rested on his head Raph sighed and Leo looked smug.

“All right fine, now, how do we find this princess?”

You were still walking close to the shore when Mayhem suddenly started jumping around you, barking and trying to pull you further away “Woah, what’s up Mayhem?” You asked the pet who kept making motions for you to follow, and you gave in with a chuckle, following Mayhem as they ran far away from you.

“All right Donnie, can you just tie that better? It’s gonna fall any moment now and I really don’t wanna see THAT” Leo groaned pointing at the cloth over Donnie’s body who was trying to hold it over his shoulder and waist.

A familiar bark took their attention, nearing them quickly.

Mayhem rushed over Donnie’s way and not knowing what to expect he hurried over to a rock, trying to hide from the creature behind it, Mayhem jumped close to Donnie who looked back in amazement before he heard your voice, repeating the scene back at the ship when he had seen you for the first time.

Donnie’s knees wobbled for a moment but he stabilized himself again quickly seeing you reunite with your pet before your eyes went up and clashed with his.

You seemed to pause in surprise and he wondered for a moment if you had recognized him somehow despite how different he looked now.

Mayhem went back to Donnie, jumping around and turning back to look at you like he was saying ‘Here! He’s right here!’, when you looked at this man you had the same feeling from before with your savior, you were confident Mayhem was right, this was him, it had to be, he looked shipwrecked, his hair drenched and he was covered in only a battered sail that had probably belonged to your own ship.

“Are you okay sir?” You asked as you neared him, Donnie’s eyes never leaving your face as he smiled and nodded rapidly at you, you smiled back before looking back at Mayhem and reaching out to hold them in your arms “I’m sorry if my, uh, dog, scared you, they’re harmless, just a bit hyperactive sometimes” You chuckled trying to avoid his gaze, it made you a bit nervous, you wanted to ask, you really wanted to ask if he was whom you thought, but if your eyes crossed with his again you were worried you’d stutter your question instead.

If you could only hear him speak it would confirm everything.

“Have I met you before?” You asked still petting Mayhem “You seem very familiar to me” That wasn’t true, you had never seen his face before but the feeling wouldn’t leave your body.

Donnie’s eyes seemed to sparkle when he heard you say that, he wanted to answer ‘Yes! That was me!’ but knew he couldn’t, if you just looked back up, he could nod in confirmation.

As if you had heard his thoughts you looked back up at him again allowing him the chance to nod in response, your smile seemed to widen impossibly and he could have swooned, feeling dizzy from your reaction “We HAVE met! I knew it!” You said letting go of Mayhem to get closer to him, forgetting how nervous you had just been a moment ago at the confirmation “You’re the man who saved me, I had been looking for you! What’s your name?”

Donnie faltered, realizing he couldn’t tell you his name.

Your smile dropped slowly “What’s wrong?” You asked worriedly and Donnie tapped his throat with his hand, trying to explain he couldn’t speak, you caught on “You can’t speak?” Donnie nodded and noticed you looked surprised then a bit disappointed “Oh, then you couldn’t be who I thought, I’m sorry for mixing you up” You smiled in apology and Donnie felt like smashing his face on the sand, no! He was! This was recent, his mutism happened just now! Oh, but how could he tell you so? How would you even believe that?

Donnie could hear the groans of his brothers coming from behind him and felt the need to groan too, instead, he leaned over the rock he had been standing behind and tried to make signs with his hands, there had to be a way for him to explain this!

You looked up at him curiously as he once again tapped his throat trying to communicate something, he waved his hands away from his throat in a leaving motion, trying to explain his voice had left, your head tilted to the side in confusion “Your breath?” he quickly made a dismissing motion, repeating the signal from before and then making a wave with his hand to simulate swimming “You need help?” you asked and his movements became wilder, in his frenzy he leaned over too much and almost fell, you gasped but managed to catch him quickly before he did.

Donnie was shocked at realizing he was now in your arms, his movements halting while you tried to lift him back to his feet “Woah careful!” You said worriedly but his cheeks felt really warm and if he could speak he would be completely unable to form a coherent sentence, for once he was relieved for his mutism if only for a moment, how were you so strong?! Despite lacking his tail he knew he couldn’t be too light.

“You really must have been through something” He tuned back into reality when you spoke, you looked worried about him but then smiled reassuringly “Don’t worry! I’ll help you” You said, with him standing up again you still laid one of his arms over your shoulders thinking he might need help walking since he seemed to have trembling legs.

Donnie was surprised but happy, you were taking him to the castle! He looked back over his shoulder towards his brothers with a grin, Mikey and Raph were making signs of approval and smiling back at him, but Leo was once again nowhere to be found.

Or so did Donnie think before realizing there was a weight on the sail covering him, he looked down to see Leo sitting on it, traveling along without doing anything and smiling lazily back at Donnie, Donnie rolled his eyes at his brother, secretly thankful that he was small enough to follow along.

He kept walking with you, his legs a bit wobbly but you helped him keep steady all the way to the castle.

[karin-miyoshi]

Do you think yuyuyu is ableist?

sheesh, talk about a loaded question

definitely opens up a lot of rabbit holes. ill give my opinion, but note im not the most educated on the subject itself so giving a definite answer is outside my scope.

ill put a read below, but for me, i personally think it isnt, but can be easily misinterpreted as is on a surface level.

tldr, ableism is discrimination towards those with disabilities.

the character in question most of the time when it comes to these topics is tougou, who uses a wheelchair in season 1 due to losing function in her legs. there are never any distasteful jokes made about this, and the show constantly shows various handicap friendly services throughout the show. something even more surprising is that these are never the core focus of the scene or pointed out, its always well integrated into the world as if it were normal (important).

just skimming through s1, we have:

wheelchair assistance integration for both cars and stairs

special swim courses for the disabled, not separated from the rest of the class

beach wheelchairs and separate assistants

now while we can assume a lot of these were due to her previous service as washio sumi, i dont think that would really be fair to the production team putting these in, and it really feels like theres a lot more heart than "yeah we put these for the big shock value realization later on". even after regaining function in her legs near the end of the season, tougou's priority was always towards yuuna and her recovery.

onto the next topic, which is the show taking away and then returning these characters functions throughout. whats important to consider here is what is considered tragic, is it the characters living without these certain functions, or is it the act of losing these functions themselves?

"It'll definitely improve. I mean, we haven't done anything wrong." (Fuu, s1ep9) again, no distasteful jokes made about their disabilities, and fuu even plays it off with her sick eyepatch. her worries instead stem from the loss of itsuki's dream, in the form of her no longer being able to sing. thats the key factor here, being punished for doing what is right, losing the ability to do what you could do before, losing the memories of the time you spent with your friends. (thats another thing i see with a lot of these arguments, they always bring up physical disabilities, but ive never seen one actually talk about ones regarding memory, arguably the most precious thing to them). tougou flat out doesnt remember sonoko at all despite being comrades in arms before, and understandably freaks out that the same might happen with her and yuuna.

now, understandably, the ending to s1 seemed super rushed, and them getting their bodily functions back seemed rather sudden. this put a lot of people off, and was really only explained in s2, which many didnt watch.

people should be allowed to grieve if they lose something important to them, and should be allowed to be happy if they get it back. personally, i dont think people realize the weight of their words when they say, "oh i wish karin wouldve stayed deaf, itd be really cool to see the club members learning sign language for it" or "yuuna in a wheelchair was really cute, i wish we saw more of it." yeah its a cool idea i guess, maybe something to see while theyre stil recovering, but forever? in a chase to see more representation, i hope they realize what they are wishing onto others eventually (even if fictional). while many with disabilities are satisfied with their life, they should be able to wish for better if they wanted to, its not like theyd wish their circumstances on anyone else, right? shouldnt the same apply here, to the girls who've actually lived both with and without disabilities?

just my two cents, hope this wasnt too hard to read! theres a lot more i could write up, especially regarding sonoko, but thats a whole other discussion i should probably save for another time

[authortobenamedlater]

E3 deep dive, brought to you by illness and cold medicine, you are warned.

I maybe should start just doing the highs and lows of each episode, because these take forever to write and I’m not sure how interesting they are for the rest of you. I was going to do highs and lows at the end of this post but it got too long.

We open up with Silver Team going rogue at Visegrad Relay, looking for their Cobalt comrades. It’s becoming increasingly clear that not only is this mission off the books, but John hasn’t told his team this. Not great for unit cohesion, Master Chief.

The base is eerily empty and there’s a rhythmic thumping sound. The Covenant? No, just a door opening and closing. Somehow that doesn’t feel much less scary.

Instead of the Covenant, we meet a swarm of Marines led by an impressively gutsy and likely ONI officer who puts herself between Silver Team and the ominously thumping door. She accuses John of stealing a Condor and falsifying a flight plan. This is news to the rest of Silver. John doesn’t care and barges through the door expecting to find Cobalt. He finds a whole lot of nothing. This doesn’t look like a cover-up at all, nope.

Next we whiplash to Ackerson having a touching and mundane moment with his father, who’s senile but not so far gone he doesn’t know he’s senile. Evidently Ackerson has been spilling classified information to his dad. In light of everything else going on, that’s pretty far down on Ackerson’s list of misdeeds. We also learn that “Julia” the mysterious flash clone was Ackerson’s sister. Why did he clone a bunch of her for Halsey? Ackerson Sr. reminds his son “You promised not to let them [the Covenant, presumably] take me alive.” Once again, nothing ominous here.

Then we have Dadmiral Keyes dressing down his overgrown children for ripping through the UCMJ like it’s wet toilet paper. You also get the feeling Keyes is getting squeezed into this and has information he should have shared with Silver, but was ordered not to. John asks if Ackerson is behind this, and everyone knows the answer but can’t say it.

John’s team is rightly furious with him for lying to them. Kai at least tries to reason with him but John’s not hearing it. The audience knows John is right and the UNSC-ONI machine is gaslighting him into thinking he doesn’t see what he knows he’s seeing. However, he’s still being a jerk about it and turning his own people against him. He doesn’t help his case when he mops the floor with his ONI babysitters like Steve Rogers taking out the Hydra guys in The Winter Soldier elevator scene.

Laera is trying to escape the Rubble and go after Soren, only to get wrapped up in Soren’s crew’s plot to steal the “Madrigal money.” Kwan continues to prove herself both useless and useful. With Madrigal glassed now, one has to wonder what role Kwan has to play. At the same time, she’s tough and resourceful, I have to give her that. She also tries to do what’s right. She knew Laera would die and went to rescue her, probably thinking she could reunite mother and son at some point but mom has to be alive for that to happen.

Laera, too, shows herself to be more than just a pretty face, resisting Antares’s interrogation even with a gun to her head. And the part where she says “I can usually reason with my husband” 🤣 it takes a real woman to hang with Soren-066. Plus, Laera always looks fabulous! I want to look that good if I ever get shoved in an airlock.

Got ahead of myself there, but some things work best tackled as a big chunk.

Riz seems to be increasingly disenchanted with Spartan life, not that I can blame her after how John treated her last week. Never mind that she’s been in constant pain for six months. She ends up at Louis’s place where we learn he and Danilo the PT are married. Riz asks Louis what “other things” there are to be besides a Spartan. We don’t get the rest of the conversation, but it looks like Riz might be getting ready to jump ship. She may find her options more limited once Reach falls, though.

Back at the ranch, we discover what actually happened to Cobalt. They were in fact at Visegrad, and ran into the Covenant. We don’t know if this happened before or after Silver Team showed up, but it confirms what we all thought: There’s some conspiracy to keep Covenant activity on Reach under wraps.

Keyes is clearly distraught over the four (remarkably intact) bodies in the morgue. THE DADMIRAL LOVES HIS OVERGROWN EMOTIONALLY STUNTED SPARTAN CHILDREN I am not taking questions on this. The exchange between him and Ackerson here is top-tier. When Ackerson tells Keyes to leave and Keyes says “I won’t run”? I don’t think you’re going to be in season 3, Jacob.

Kai goes to Ackerson, who admires her for defending her “CO.” John isn’t her “commanding officer.” He’s not an officer. I don’t know what they’d call him, though. “Your team leader”? I won’t bug you all with nitpicking terminology. Kai is so stir crazy that she asks to be deployed alone until John is cleared for combat. This, I suspect, is how she ends up with the S-IIIs.

John takes his concerns to Parangosky, who to the surprise of no one, has not really left ONI. He tells her the Covenant is on Reach and no one is listening to him. Parangosky doesn’t give him the help he’s looking for. She tells him to go back to FLEETCOM and lay low, and she’s brought a cadre of spooks to ensure his compliance. This does not placate the increasingly agitated Master Chief.

Ackerson visits Halsey in holo-jail and gives her a speech about how she made the Spartans “fragile” by implanting those pellets. He tells her that “these things [she] made, broken as they may be” will be the foundation for something greater. I suspect this is the Spartan-III program. It’s also what Adun says to Halsey’s clone right before he kills her and dissolves her in acid.

Then the bomb drops: Julia, Ackerson’s sister, was a Spartan who died from the augmentations. Suddenly everything about Ackerson makes sense.

But the bombs aren’t done dropping. Ackerson leaves, then walks back in with none other than Soren-066. He tells Halsey “I didn’t want you to be alone” and walks out. Halsey looks legit TERRIFIED when she sees Soren.

Finally, John goes to see Talia and finds her in church. I’m going Gaga over the religious references this year, you all don’t even know. Talia has a recording of the “interference” on Sanctuary, which we find out is also a prayer offered by the Arbiter not named Thel ‘Vadam, stating his intention to offer Reach as a burnt offering and place the Demon’s head on the altar.

While Talia is translating the prayer, we see a montage that notably shows us Ackerson giving his father a pill, probably cyanide, reiterating his promise that he wouldn’t let the Covenant take his dad alive. He tells his father “I have to go away” which is the third time he’s said as much in two episodes. As he’s walking out, Ackerson brings in a final Julia clone, and his dad thinks he’s seeing his little girl one last time. A teary-eyed Ackerson walks out, and the next time we see him he’s strapped into a troop transport. Going where, we wonder?

Then an explosion shatters the church’s windows and the episode ends.

All this sets us up for…next week it’s all going down.

[4younotafool]

What We Have (Genshin Impact)

Wattpad: @NotAFool4You "What We Have" disclaimer: This story is a fanfiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, or incidents in this story are either products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to an actual person, or event, is purely coincidental.  warning: long chapter ahead. Word count: 1935 P.S. This story was previously known as "Love And Justice" but I personally did not like how the story was going so I took down the original plot and I'm currently updating the scenes and dialogues to a whole different focus and genre.

Chapter One

“You’re sending me in……The Fortress of Meropide?”

I couldn't believe what I heard so I had to ask again. I must have heard it wrong, right? maybe he made a mistake or told the wrong person. Doctors tend to be forgetful when overworked.

“A Melusine doctor is currently operating the clinic inside the fortress. I want you to assist her.”

So, I didn't hear it wrong. It wasn’t a mistake either. I frowned in disbelief and moved closer to my mentor’s desk. I looked at his eyes over the thick-rimmed glasses he wore in hopes of catching him making a mistake, just like the numerous other times I caught him misdiagnosing a patient. 

“Not to be rude or arrogant, sir. But I believe someone with my skills shouldn’t be in the Fortress Of Meropide. I’m the best medical apprentice you have! I didn’t work hard to be sent to that place! I’m more valuable in the main branch!”

I pleaded my case. It wasn’t fair! To be sent to work in the Fortress is the same as being sent to their death! The Fortress of Meropide is serving as Fontaine’s De Facto Prison, it has a notorious reputation because of the criminals lurking in that place!

But that wasn’t just the reason why I didn’t like that place, I don’t want to treat uncivilized bastards! That’s not my purpose! That’s against my principles!

“I know, Miss Grandeur, but you’re still lacking…..”

I flinched at his words. I almost lost my ability to talk and to even comprehend. For years, my whole life I dedicated myself to studying medicine more diligently than anyone else. I practiced surgical procedures day and night to make sure I wouldn’t make a mistake. Because I know I would be handling a person’s life, I would be saving a person’s life.

I’m not part of Teyvat’s top medical board practitioner if I was lacking.

“....lacking? Me? Lacking?” in what other way?

“You lack empathy. You cannot understand and care for a patient.”

“...I don’t understand, sir.”

I don't understand how I fail as a  doctor, just because I can't or couldn’t understand my patient's emotions. To be honest, they should be the ones who must understand us since more than half of patients’ families blame us for not completely treating them for their illness when they’re the reason they even had one in the first place. 

That, I can tolerate. But treating criminals? Saving a criminal's life….? Over my dead body.

“Doctors treat their patients and give their all to cure their illness. No matter who they are, and no matter what they do for a living. That is what I want you to learn. I hope you can understand where I am coming from.” 

But what if the patient I needed to treat was a sex offender or an abuser? What would their victims feel when they see their offender walking around in broad daylight after leaving them a whole life to remember of gruesome experience? What if they’re a human trafficker? What would their families feel if I let the person who took away their loved ones live? What if it’s a murder? I might as well be their accomplice.

“I’ll try my best, Doc.”

I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist. If this is what it means to be a doctor…… never mind. 

“I know how much you have such a…fixed view regarding patients with unlawful history records. But it is not our job to judge their wrongdoings. We're doctors, not judges or lawyers. Our job is to save lives. Remember that.”

I just nodded to what he said and accepted the situation I was in now. Remember who you’re doing this for, Melissa. For the family….

“I'm Melissa Grandeur from Fontaine's Medical. I'll be assisting you for the next six months, Miss Sigewinne."

I formally introduced myself with a smile. Appearing to be innocent and docile. It's been quite a journey from the Court Of Fontaine to the underwater fortress, but I didn't let my exhaustion be seen.

"I'm delighted to have the famous medical apprentice help me around!" 

She says in a small but delighted voice. She inched closer to hold both of my hands, and I had to bend my knees a bit. Like all Melusines, Sigewinne has somewhat rabbit features, even harboring its innocent and soft appearance and behavior. But I am most aware that she is more than meets the eye. She looks more humanly compared to her ‘sisters’, after all. 

"We, Melusines, are eternally grateful to you and your family Miss Grandeur. It's already a blessing to have you here with me in the Fortress!" 

However, it seemed like at this moment she was genuine about her words. After all, no Melusines is unaware of our family and what we’ve sacrificed and done for the Melusines in the past. 

In the past, Melusines were treated harshly and discriminated against because of the fact they were species from unknown origins and the belief that they were creatures of calamity and would only bring bad luck to humanity. However, The Grandeurs were one of the few people who accepted the Melusines wholeheartedly and even regarded them as equals. Providing support and opportunities to mingle and fit in society even before the people of Fontaine began trusting the Ludex and Melusines because of the events in the past.

So, to say they are eternally grateful or so, is not an exaggeration. 

I held her plump cheeks with both of my hands. Sigewinne smiled softly with her eyes closed. I know she’s supposed to be my senior, but I couldn’t help but treat Sigewinne like a companion animal with affection. Our family has this kind of soft spot for cute little creatures, you see.

"Huh, so the rumors are true." an unfamiliar baritone voice takes part in the moment. 

Sigewinne and I’s attention was both directed to where the intruder’s voice was coming from, the clinic’s entrance. There, a man was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest, tufted black hair that looked like it was recently ruffled up, and grey eyes glinting in interest. I had to forcibly stop my eyes from wandering any further. A perfect balance of lean but muscular physique.

‘Just my type’

"There've been talks that a new doctor was spotted in the fortress. A beautiful one. 'guess they weren't exaggerating." 

He walked towards where we were. Sigewinne didn’t look as confused as I was by his sudden presence, he must’ve been someone she knows, one of the Fortress’ workers maybe?

The unknown man smiled at Sigewinne and patted her head as if it were something he normally does. I stood up, and it almost amazed me how his height still managed to tower over me. I was considered to be fairly tall for a woman, even without wearing heels, so having met a man who was capable of making me look up is rare. 

I assumed he was a staff from the administration of the Fortress keeping this place in check, or perhaps an office worker sent from the Court Of Fontaine. But the more I finally managed to look at him up close, I knew he was a convict serving his sentence. I mean, the scars peeking through underneath his clothes as well as the criminal tag just give it away. 

Was I so mesmerized by how good-looking he was that I forgot I was in a place full of criminals?

"but it seems like you, little missy, shouldn't be in this place." 

He says, full of conviction, as he stares down at my being. Looking at me from head to toe. I involuntarily gulped down and suddenly felt conscious. 

"Pardon?" I arched my brow at his sudden proclamation.

"You don't fit here." 

"I'm a doctor, in a clinic.  This is where I should be" I furrowed my brows, crossing my arms to my chest. 

"But what I mean is, you don't look like a doctor in my eyes, Missy" 

I was about to retort at his unacceptable and rude attitude towards someone of my status when we were interrupted by Sigewinne clapping her hands to gain our attention, putting a stop to our bickering. 

“Wriothesley, enough with that, please? Lady Melissa and I have a lot of work to do today.” 

She says and she points out towards the door, which was suddenly swarming with multiple people with common curiosity poking their heads inside the clinic.

Sigewinne pulled my hand, and I obliged. But before we could attend to our patients waiting in line, I rolled my eyes at how this Wriothesley man has now a content and irritating smirk plastered over his face when I turned to look at him.

‘I take back what I said about him being my type’

"I'm right, aren't I?" Wriothesley suddenly said. 

All afternoon, I’ve been attending and diagnosing patients just like how Sigewinne instructed. And for the whole time, I could feel and see Wriothesley's eyes following me around. He wasn’t even trying to hide it, he was being shameless about it. 

After the long hours he remained silent, he finally spoke but it only made me more irritable even if it was only a few words. 

"What?" 

I didn't look at him when I spoke. I was reading the list of the patients’ names and their medical conditions I’d diagnosed earlier during a check-up. I need to double-check if what I wrote in the record is correct. 

“You're not fit to be here, more or less, a doctor even.” There he is again with that repeating statement. 

I looked up from where I was sitting at the desk of the clinic entrance, taking care of the papers that were used a while ago while Wriothesley was across the desk, shamelessly staring down at me, yet again, with his face resting on his hand. 

"I've been watching you treat the other patients. You're treating them half-assed. like you were forced to do your damn job." He continued, even using vulgar words to describe what he observed.

"In short, you're bad at playing doctor, Missy," Wriothesley concluded.

"You're assuming things. You don't know me. And stop addressing me as ‘Missy’" With eyes narrowing at him, hoping he could take the warning.

"And you don't know these patients as well. The people in this fortress might be way different from that big brain of yours."

I only met this man just a few hours ago, and he never fails to speak up his thoughts directly with no filter, and it is more infuriating how he’s somewhat correct. 

I may indeed have been lenient with my duties. I was too engrossed by the fact that everyone I've been treating, I've been attending with supposed care, and everyone I will meet during the duration of my stay in the Fortress will be no other than offenders. But It's not like I can be ignorant about what they've done and not let guilt for the victims seep in. 

Before a Doctor, I was a just little girl growing up with the harsh ways of the world first.

"Well, but, you know, just sayin'. But it'll be in your best interest if you drop everything and just leave this dirty fortress with even dirtier people." He stood straight and shrugged his shoulders.

"But then again, that's just my pathetic opinion and I'm in no place to judge a lady as respectable as you, I'm just another dirty criminal in the fortress n'way." Wriothesley even put the palm of his hand to his chest.

"Have a nice day, Doc" Wriothesley smiled before disappearing from my eyes and leaving me embarrassed and deep in thought inside the clinic walls.

‘Have I been that……..careless?’

[eveenstar]

Toby falling in love with his doctor's daughter | Headcanons (part 1?)

This was revealed to me in a dream ✋🏻 yes this is inspired by David Near's The Morgue Files but since I wasn't sure if we could do fanfic about it, I created my own character inspired by it! I'll call this an experiment, so depending on how well it is received by you all I might do a part 2 :)

Doctor Frederick Faulkner, commonly known as Freddie or Fred by his co-workers, was Tobias' doctor. A man of prestige, but underlooked by his bosses. The fact he chose to treat a severe mentally ill murderer made everyone believe the doctor himself was insane.

He wasn't the first one though, his fellow co-worker Doctor Crow had also taken a murderer similar to Toby under his wing. The fact that there was someone else in the building who claimed to have seen the Tall Man frightened Toby at the time, as the boy wasn't quite a proxy yet, but close to being one. Stage 2, perhaps?

Throughout the sessions they had together, Toby found out Doctor Faulkner had a daughter just around his age. A very bright one, but a bit troublesome sometimes, just like any girl in her late teenage years would be like. He didn't know how she looked like, her father was very restrictive to that extent. His friendliness towards Toby didn't change what he was, a man who murdered his parents and set fire to his childhood house with the guests still inside.

However, this changes when you appear at the door unplanned. Just as Toby is being taken to his regular Wednesday's session, he sees you standing in front of the door, hesitant to knock.

At first, he doesn't know who you are. You're not a patient, but you're also not a doctor or nurse. Maybe a former patient visiting? Hell, does anyone actually leave this Institute?

But then the guards escorting him speak up, "Miss Faulkner, what brings you here?"

Oh, well, that's unfortunate. Toby didn't want to meet you either (though the curious part of his mind did) because even if he denies the existence of the Tall Man, he knows you'd be put in danger.

Still, he thinks you're pretty. The way you turned around to greet the guards, but how your eyes landed on him and he saw the oh-so-familiar glimpse of fear behind them. You must be aware of who he is, or maybe the chains around his feet and hands scared you enough.

What Faulkner said was true, you do have the fire of youth in your eyes. The urge to fight, to talk back, to party, to....do everything Toby could not.

The door to the office opens and there stands the doctor, eyes wild open once he notices his daughter standing there. Clearly you didn't announce your visit and you should've. Frederick sighs, before urging you inside and lifting his finger up for "one second".

The last time he saw you before you disappeared off of the radar (at least he didn't see you again so maybe you wouldn't come back) was after you walked off his office saying "You'll regret this!" and leaving a clearly disappointed Fred behind.

Don't fret, nothing serious happened. Apparently Faulkner was so caught up in his work that he missed his marriages birthday and well...his wife wasn't pleased.

In the following days, Toby did some sketches of you. Doodles, even. He's not a great artist but he's had time to practice, and it's better than drawing that creature over and over again, just to repeat the cycle the next day.

He's had crushes before, sure. Hallway crushes. Market crushes. Girls he'll never see again, but for that split moment of time he thought they were pretty. Surely he's not that bad that he became infatuated with someone who didn't even talk to him?

But he wants to know more about you; what do you do, who are your friends, how your pretty little life was like...yet he can't. There is no way your father will open up about you more than he already has; he's already this close to finding out about the drawings he keeps of you.

It's been a while since he sees you again; Toby's lost track of time but he'd say maybe a month or so until you show up, this time it seems you managed to convince your dad to let you stay during a session. Of course, when asked about it Toby didn't care despite the thought of opening up with a strange person present made him uncomfortable.

Even thought you're sitting behind him, he can hear you writing down notes. The doctor assures him it's nothing about him, rather the entire appointment as a whole. You're studying psychology, maybe to follow your father's footsteps?

Only when Doctor Faulkner turns around to grab some papers is when Toby manages to also turn around to take a glance at you; not expecting you to be already staring at him, or rather, your dad, and then looking over to him.

Before, your face was calm, monotonous of any emotion, with lips set on a straight line, but then....then your eyes landed on him and a nervous smile formed on your face.

"Hello," You said.

"Toby!"

Yeah, that was enough to scold him back into track. Your father didn't want you here at all, but now? Now Toby did. In his twisted mind, a dangerous idea pushed by whispers began to form.

"My daughter, would you be so kind to get me a bottle of water from the cafeteria?" Was that his way to send you off? Sure. But you'll be back.

But things don't always work our way, at least not in Toby's life.

The alarms went off a few minutes after you left. Everything is blinking red and it's too, too loud and loud and- screams. There's people screaming.

He knows it's here. This is his work. There's a dark cloud forming in the back of his mind, the same fog from the night he killed his parents and their friends. Faulkner is far too concerned with leaving the office and go get you that he doesn't notice Toby trailing after him.

But it wasn't Toby who did the final blow, thought you might believe otherwise because of the red stains all over his white hospital outfit. He doesn't know who it was, all he knows is that you were standing behind your father as he fell to the ground with a petrified look on your face.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

[taintedcigs]

EMMY’S TTPD REVIEW!!!!

i might do another review when i get some sleep and listen again but fuck do i have thoughts under the cut

i never doubted her and im being so serious. like what a wild fucking ride im in SHAMBLES. fortnight is such a good start to the album and sets the tone for the remaining songs.

florida!!! is AMAZING. taylor + florence’s voices mesh SO well together and the sounds just exploded in my ear in the best way possible. title track is cheeky which I LOVE. down bad is just so catchy and the way she says “fuck it if i can’t have him” is engraved in my brain forever.

so long, london. my god. what a fuxking intro. perfectly describing to carry on a relationship you know is dead weight???? the wedding reference ??? “how much sad did you think i have in me” ??? im literally dead?

but daddy i love him is unhinged. self-aware. again VERY cheeky. and imo a slight attempt to cut the parasocial ties a bit w swifties LMAO!

fresh out the slammer, guilty as sin, the alchemy and clara bow (the stevie nicks NAME DROP??? i gasped) are ALL SO EXCELLENT. i need a second listen to have more opinions tho!!!

who’s afraid of little old me is fuckiiiinnnnggg genius. same with i can do it with a broken heart. this album employs a tone that is so very self-critical (that she previously tapped into in midnights) and we can see how most of the lyrics are more in on the joke. its so genius and like i never doubted her ever i have noooo words. also the way she explores the “toxic positivity” in icdiwabh is just SOOO genius. she does so much twists and turns with this album and im eating up all of it. (also the overall way she describes mental health complexities in both of these songs is so important to me)

the smallest man whoever lived. THE ANGER. oh god im living for her unhinged lyrics its so fucking good.

loml: look i hate this title. im sorry. but ou my god. this fucking song. love of my life turning into loss of my life…. like she’s killing me overrrr here😭😭😭

i can fix him (no really i can). the sound. i just. i have no words. i will try to express my feelings better later but the “whoa maybe i can’t” at the end. GOD. thats how the entire album is. self-referential, critical, and in on the joke. im in awe of how good it all sounds together.

like ill just probably be rambling but holy fuck. it exceeded my expectations in the best way possible. idk how this woman does it. but shes a powerhouse. in every way possible. the album is very unhinged, depressing, cheeky, and entirely raw. this is seriously one of her best works and its MUCH different than anything else she has put out. 10/10. im gagged.

i will now be going to sleep, but if any fellow tortured poets want to discuss this album (lyrically, sonically, parallels, influences, ANYTHING) send me an ask bc i can’t be normal about this masterpiece