#ahitpost

[maskedmenmakemeferal]

Sweetcheeks

If you told younger Simon that ten years from now that he would be laying in bed with his wife,he’d scoff and say you were crazy.

But he is.

You leave some sweet kisses down his bare back,fingers splaying over his tattooed and scared skin.

“Lovie,I gotta get up.” He sleepily murmured,even though he’d rather die then get out of bed right now.

“Shut up.” You sweetly say,hands wrapping around his midsection,softer from 2 years of retirement. (Dad bod!Simon has got me bricked up and I don’t even have the proper utensils)

He loved the feeling of early mornings with you,nowear to go or people to see. He also loves the feeling of your warm hands running up and down his body. But he felt like he needed to do something to be productive.

“Lovie,it’s 10,I have to go.”

“You’ve been going places for a long time while you were in the military. Let me hold you,sweet cheeks.”

He scowled a bit.

Sweetcheeks?

This 6’ man,feared by many,with hundreds of scars gets called Sweetcheeks?

“Don’t frown Si,you’ll get wrinkles.” You joke.

Fine,I guess he can stay another ten minutes…or an hour.

[milkie2]

Absolute peak loser

[sun-citadel]

Debris was seen over the Caribbean after SpaceX's Starship fell apart during test flight . . .

. . . So I made this.

[virginstoner666]

(link to OG tweet)

the goofy to killer ratio is unique in each of them, but above all, they are all special little pincesses✨

[laurancezvahlslefteyebrow]

Which MCD characters are the most autistic and why is it Aphmau, Vylad, and Travis

[bootleg-nessie]

The other cryptids hate me because I have my own loch

[can-of-w0rmz]

Why do people take the piss out of people for having depression? Why are YOU mad that I want to kill myself? 💀🙏

Dude I just had a girl say I can’t be trusted to do a job for my teacher because I “can’t even take care of myself”, laughed at me for BEING depressed and another guy started laughing at my self harm while my friend looked flabbergasted and that was just in a couple days, like tf did I do??💀

Anyway “u cant take care of urself” I can take care of ur prostitute ma cunt go get fucked and dumped by your bf🖕🖕🖕

[arasdain]

How to defeat Freddy Krueger:

Take a bunch of Benadryl before going to sleep so the hat man shows up in your dreams. Freddy will leave because he owes the hat man 30 years of child support payments

Follow me for to punk on crispy bitches

[guryancentered]

worst decision ever was watching that ep while high I'm terrified stull

[cartoonscientist]

your pitbull is real small dude, it’s more like a pitsteer. maybe even a pitcalf.

[eddieheart]

Jon Snow: *to the night’s watch council*

Jon: have you ever seen a giant?

Jon: ‘cus they’re really fucking big

[soullessjack]

anyways gn

[highchan]

Everyone's like "oh I have an angel and a demon on my shoulder" or "I have a Viki and a 1950s housewife on my shoulder".

Do you wanna know who I have? I have the god of mischief Loki and archangel Michael on my shoulder.

And they both keep telling me I should love myself, I should grow a spine, do what makes me happy and go to the woods and scream.

[whales-are-gay]

REALLY funny day for blaseball to update us on the coronation era

[this-is-cray-cray-dudes]

Forggy boy

He is friend

[laurancezvahlslefteyebrow]

i think we as a society forget that zane quite literally cut gene’s ear off.

like the whole thing.

gone.

and like he’s a shadow knight so i’m sure it either grew back or would grow back if he died and respawned but still. it’s the principle of the thing