#alas. visualization exercises time

[jewfrogs]

no disagreement with those posts that point out that intrusive thoughts are deeply distressing and not trivial, but it’s worth emphasizing that they are rooted in what deeply distresses us, and while that can mean (in many, many cases) subject matter that is generally acknowledged as upsetting (e.g. harming oneself or others), that’s not a hard rule. some intrusive thoughts do seem silly on the surface. i live at the intersection of ocd + arfid + autism, and my most common intrusive thoughts center around specific unsafe foods (i’m afraid of them “contaminating” other foods or the air around them, i imagine them in my mouth, etc.). saying that i have intrusive thoughts about eating [very common everyday food] might sound absurd, but it’s incredibly painful for me. many such intrusive ideas or images don’t register as upsetting to outsiders but are harrowing for those who deal with them. what matters isn’t the content of the thought, but how that thought feels and affects the thinker.

[meanbossart]

Hi! Feel free to ignore this, but I was wondering about your journey on writing your fic? Like, did you planned it before writing? Or you went figuring things out as you wrote?

Your writing has inspired me to craft my own fic but I seem to be stuck in the planning stage 😅 so I was wondering about your process in between planning your story and actually writing it

Also I love your realistic depictions of characters and your art

Initially, I wrote the first chapter as a one shot. This was way before we got the epilogue update and I really wanted a more tangible conclusion this little story I had concocted throughout the game - an epilogue of my own, basically!

Then I just decided that I wanted to write more. Writing has never been my forte and I really felt like finally exercising that muscle. The first few chapters are incredibly rough and that's because I was doing just that - trying to figure out what worked for me stylistically and exploring these characters without the pressure of having to take it somewhere yet. Alas - the brain does as the brain does, and by the time I was writing chapter 3 or 4 I had already figured out the main storybeats and ending, and a few chapters later I had filled in all of the gaps in a whooping 15 page long outline in google doc 🙄

if you don't believe me, all you have to do is go all the way back to chapter 4 where I hint at the existence of Grodderick and Nathanya - characters that only ever show up in chapter 17.

This has come with some downsides. It frustrates me to no end that the fox subplot has been slowed WAAAYYYYYYYYYY down only because I couldn't predict just how long everything in-between would take to flesh out, for example. Overall I feel like my writing still may be a little convoluted and like "simple" scenes take a tad too long - as a visual artist I can't resist but constantly describe mannerisms and facial intricacies - but hey, this is what I'm doing this for, to have fun and figure these things out as I go, and I feel like I have improved absolute heaps.

So, I didn't go in with a plan at all but I kind of ended up with one pretty early on anyways. I'm not sure how helpful that is, since there are all kinds of writers out there and you should absolutely do whatever works best for you - however, more importantly than that, you should do whatever keeps you writing regularly.

Also, of course, do not even for a moment fool yourself into thinking you can write a perfect story that you're going to be proud of for many years to come. By the time you write chapter 20, you will probably hate chapter 2. But who cares! You wrote 20 chapters of a thing and that's neat as hell.

[piyo13sdoodles]

day 28, chapter 76:

At the expression on Quintus' face Cliopher could take no more. He started laughing before he made it out of the room, though the loudest whoops came after he'd reached the hallway. He did not get far along, just sank down at the top of the stairs so he could try to muffle his mirth with his hands. ~ "Your family seems somewhat perturbed," Rhodin observed after a few minutes.

and bonus gallery shot + musings under the cut because it's been exactly 4 weeks now:

fun to see what kinds of patterns intentionally or unintentionally crop up... or also which days i can tell i was busy vs which days i had time or worked in advance to dedicate more time to the piece. if anyone's curious, on average one of these might take me 2-3 hours to complete! more detailed ones like october 23 i think probably took me closer to 5 hours, simpler ones like october 9 maybe 1.5h.

i am both sad and glad it's almost over--i've definitely lost a fair amount of sleep trying to get these done in time (usually i work a day ahead so i can post at a reasonable time, but that hasn't always worked out, especially in the final stretch here), so this pace does become untenable on top of work, but it also is really fun to make so much art! and to always have something to work on rather than becoming trapped into that idea of 'what should i do, too many choices, can't decide..' the answer is always inktober!

in any case, seeing the gallery like this is also interesting to me because it really helps me realize where i could have/should have pushed the ink a bit more--working in ink is (to me; this is definitely not gospel, just how i consider ink work) an exercise in controlling contrast. you don't have colour to drive edges or cool/warm tones, so the only value you have is the light-dark contrast, and in my mind at least, good use of contrast should carry across to a smaller format. for example, zoomed out like this i can see that october 11th really needed more contrast in the feathers--they blend too much into the background in a way that doesn't really work to emphasize that ludvic is standing in front of the candles there. otoh, on october 5, i think that one's fine because what i wanted was for the moon to draw the eye first, and THEN for you to notice HR sitting there.

overall, also, i want to keep these interesting--if the compositions are always the same, then it can become repetitive or boring, so i wanted a good mix of light and dark compositions, and a good balance of tone across all of them. which so far i'm pleased with! and this year i let myself use pencil undersketches and do thumbnail planning and everything (last year i really wanted to get better at visualizing the piece in my head so i set the challenge of just committing straight to paper... i'm still happy with last year's but you can tell i took on much more challenging compositions this year lol)

anyway!! much to think about, so much to learn, i wanted to work a bit in advance again so i won't be putting tomorrow's up almost at midnight again but alas i think it was not meant to be, so i'm off to bed and if you read this whole thing, congrats, have a cookie *hands you a cookie*

[halfetirosie]

😂❤️🏝️ Pure Dumb Fun and Romcom Nonsense 🏝️❤️😂

(Exercise 07 - 09 React-os!)

1) I truly adore the running joke about Eiden's infamous naming skills 😂

Like, the second they hear an unnecessarily long, cringey name, they just know who is to blame.

2) PFFFFT! 🤣🤣🤣

Eiden over here being so horny that he forgot that Quincy built like a goddam brick wall---

3) THE EMOTION MUSIC OVER THIS PART IS SENDING MEEEEE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"Trouble-averse ass...."

Eiden, babes. This might be an intense sports competition, but it really isn't that serious...

4) QUINCY USING THE POWER OF HUGS!!!

I'm so fuckin jealous!!!

As long as you're not barreling towards him top-speed, I bet Quincy Hugs™ are top tier. I've said it many times, and I'll say it again---I WANT TO GIVE QUINCY A HUG, I JUST KNOW HE GIVE THE BEST HUGS EVER---so Eiden better be fully appreciative!

Lucky bastard!!! 😤😤😤

5) I'm convinced the Devs are trying to kill us all with these visual gags---

(Side note---On a scale of one to ten, how likely is it that they only made Quincy's SSR holding a bottle in order to include this particular visual gag during the story event? :D)

6) S....STINKY FIEND....

GET DUNKED ON, DANTE!!!! 😂😈

I love it when Eiden responds to Dante's Tsundere Bullshit™ with an Uno Reverse card and they just end up arguing in the dumbest way possible! ♡♡♡

And my boi Dante is always getting stuck with the absolute worst nicknames---ala Lord Jackass---and it's just so beautiful!!! 🤣🤣🤣

It's like everyone silent agree that this guy, this lil' fucker right here, shall forever be the #1 target for teasing!!!

7) PFFFFFT!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

♡♡♡ CRINGEFAIL DORITOMAN, MY BELOVED!!! ♡♡♡

Leave it to Dante to grab Eiden's ass completely by accident!

The sudden realization tho..... It's a work of art.....

This is the most Aggressively Anime-Tropey thing I have ever seen....

(It's like that part where I guy trips and ends up grabbing a girl's boobs... Except, you know, gayer.)

8) Morvay, sweetie, you're not helping the situation....

Okay but, it's safe to assume that there's some children in the audience of this event, right? Is it okay for him to be calling attention to this "licentious" situation??? (I know that kids probably wouldn't even know what that word means, but some of the older ones could figure it out by context clues....)

9) Danteeeee, my Touch-Starved King!!!!!

He's basically an overgrown kid experiencing his first crush, not sure how to even function, and it's SO FUCKIN CUTE!!!

LOOK AT HIM!!!!

Babes is so flustered that he's pulling An Edmond and blaming his feelings on Eiden.... IT'S SO ENDEARING I, I CAN'T HANDLE IT...

10) This is not important at all, but somehow I can vividly picture Eiden absolutely dominating at high school dodgeball 😎

He's just got that scrappy energy to him---I picture him as a well-liked social butterfly that everyone knew, and had insane skills at the most random things like dodgeball....Is that too specific? Just me? Bah, whatever. It's just fun to imagine.

( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

11) I suspect that if we made a drinking game after every time some pulled A Father during this event (suddenly attempting to block someone's nudity/compromising pose), we'd all get severe alcohol poisoning..... 😅

Nah but, didn't Eiden create this swimsuits/outfits? Why the fuck did he choose a material that gets see-through when wet??? When they would be competing in front of a huge crowd?????

Seems like a severe oversight...

12) OHHHHH, okay, that makes more sense!

I'm sorry for doubting your honor, Eiden!

I guess they loaded the water balloons with a special potion that causes the transparency.

Still unsure if that was a good idea, but okay bubs.... 🤷‍♀️

13) Eiden's heroic sacrifice! 😂😂😂

Bless Garu's little heart, he's such an angel!!!! 😂😂😂 Whole-heartedly reassured Eiden over something so dumb and sillyyyy!!!!

14) Yeah.... I was rooting for my boi Dante, but I could see this coming 😅

I mean, our dude basically flashed his butt to everyone, so I suppose he deserves a win for all of that trouble 😅😅😅

15) EIDEN, YOU'RE SUCH A CHAMP!!! AN ABSOLUTE TROOPER!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If I had a nickel for every time Eiden exposed himself to a group of people in order to spare a clan member's dignity, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

(First during Fanciful Capriccio--sparing Dante in the story of The Emperor's New Clothes--and then now. Expect, During Fanciful Caprissio they were stuck in an illusion, so technically the crowd wasn't real, but I think it still counts.)

🏝️ End of report! 🏝️

[re-locative]

Tangling the web: an upcoming post series (?)

Hey all! Amari here. I'll be starting a post series about web design traits and trends that have become inescapable across the internet, and whether we can internet without them—as users, developers, and designers.

Petri Dish - a weird web experience thing I made.

So, I'm a web developer who's had brief stints in graphic design, and my current PhD research orbits around the theme of virtual spaces and places. I've made websites, I've taught people how to make websites, and I'm something of an avid user of websites myself.

And…well…I'm bored! I'm bored of SEO-driven design. I'm bored of single-flow webpages that start with a giant hero image and end in a shiny call to action button—all designed to channel you as quickly as possible to the part where you subscribe or enter your card details.

(Even this post is formatted like one of them! It wasn't even intentional! It's become ingrained in the way I structure and present my ideas, and that's just a little disturbing.)

These templates are sweeping the landscape like invasive trees. And at the heart of this scourge is the vaunted axiom of "Predictability," which gets peddled in every UI/UX class that is "future-oriented" enough to use that acronym. Predictability lets users learn a new site quickly so they spend money sooner, fosters comfort and familiarity with the idea of spending money, and allows for the development of usage patterns where money is spent.

I get the merits of that axiom; I get that it has a time and place. But when game and webcomic sites look and feel and interact like that, I think we have to ask: Can we imagine something different? Can we slow the takeover of the smooth corpo aesthetic? Can we avert a future where the effective geography of the web, with all its varied terrain and endemic textures, is bulldozed into featureless oblivion?

I think it would be presumptuous to suggest that they're some mythic species of the past that slowly died out, too. A lot of the web experiences we loved well as kids are still right there, or have successors that are! They've just gotten so crowded out, by the combination of corporate sites and corporate-driven search algorithms, that one wonders if they will someday become impossible to stumble upon.

Anyway, the intended post series is born out of these provocations. I'd like to tackle elements of the current schema of "good web design" and contemplate a web without them (hopefully with examples if I can find them):

Predictable layouts, the "F" scan pattern, and calls to action

Discoverability / SEO

Well-formed HTML and well-maintained linkage

Responsive web design

Identity and device tracking

Socially engineering higher engagement through design

Statefulness and timelines

Visually communicating functionality

And I know, all of these things sound like good traits for a site to have. And yes, in most contexts, they are! But I think imagining the web without them is a highly worthwhile exercise anyway.

Anyway, stay tuned if that interests you—I will be posting them to this blog and tagging them with #tangling the web. Alas, my Call to Action reflex could not be denied, and I had to give you an easily actionable instruction at the end of the post.

[techni-kolor]

Since everything has been ChaosTM lately I finally decided to share a little snippet from my Domestic DoA universe! ^-^

Find the details about this AU here!

—————

"Nikolai, you've been in the bathroom for two hours. You'd better have drowned in there!"

Sigma pounded a fist against the door, rattling the hinges and letting their frustration shake the rickety frame like the worst alarm clock known to man.

"Nikolai, I swear!" They yelled.

"Just a few more minutes, Sig!"

"Yes, of course. A few more minutes, he says." Sigma repeated flatly to themself. "Don't use all the hot water this time!"

They leaned up against the hallway wall. Frustration was an almost constant companion; far too many eccentric people being crammed into a rather tiny apartment was not conducive to relaxation. Neither was the fact that Nikolai seemed intent on nearly drowning himself at every given opportunity with the longest showers since the invention of indoor plumbing.

"Kolya, I swear–"

The door slammed open, Nikolai's damp frame filling it completely as he posed in the steamy silhouette that drifted out of the bathroom. At least he was clothed, this time. His black jeans and signature checkered sweatshirt were at odds with the humid air, but perfectly catered to the crisp autumn outside and were worn as the manufacturer had intended. A rare occurrence.

He blinked haphazardly. One eye cut vertically with a thick, silvery scar that traced from his brow to his cheekbone and the other hazy as well with his permanently obscured vision.

"Good morning, Sigma! How are you on this fine day?"

"I'd be better if I had been able to shower when I planned. Forty-five minutes ago."

"Time certainly is a cruel mistress!" Nikolai said cheerfully, tossing back his damp braid over one shoulder. "I suppose she forsake me while I was caught up bathing."

"Uh-huh."

"Alas, I am merely a pawn in this endless chessboard of life. I can not be held responsible for the placement I have been assigned or my efforts to break free of this jailing we call a schedule. Can't you see the folly of it all, Sigma! I may be unable to visualize this world, yet I am–"

"Are you done?" Sigma interrupted. "With the shower, not the monologue."

Nikolai's infamous rambles were well known to last for hours when unchecked.

"Yeah, I'm all good there." He chirped, snagging the dirty towel off the rack and skipping across the cheap tile floor towards the kitchen. "Enjoy!"

"Hard to do with no hot water or time to get ready, but sure." Sigma muttered to themself, stepping into the bathroom.

Only to nearly slide to their doom as their shaky feet caught on a stray piece of clothing.

"Next time don't leave your dirty socks on the floor!"

"Those aren't mine!"

Sigma slowly began to count to ten in their head.

"They belong to Fedya! He showered last night, pretty sure. Ask him!"

There was absolutely zero chance that Sigma was going to consult Fyodor on the location of his clothing again. The last time had been an exercise in confusion, futility, and a stark reminder of why he and Nikolai were so close despite their contrasting personalities.

Maybe the hot water would wash off some of the frustration. Or at least the lint from Fyodor's dirty socks and Nikolai's half dried puddles of leftover soap that somehow always found their way outside of the shower curtain.

Sigma sighed.

Another day in paradise.

[gravitasmalfunction]

2023 Cdrama roundup

What I watched in reverse chronological order, mostly.

Under the cut: 11 historical costume dramas, 5 fantasy dramas and a handful of others that I started but haven't finished yet.

Historical costume dramas

A Journey To Love (2023, IQIYI) Delicious beginning, strong middle, sort of fell apart for me toward the end as the focus shifted to siege warfare and succession politics. WTF was that epilogue, even. My Journey to You (2023, IQIYI) My winner for 2023. Visually transcendent, twisty storyline, amazing cast, glorious costuming; this was the whole package of everything I love. I was saving this one up as a special treat and it did not disappoint me. Story of Kunning Palace (2023, IQIYI) I liked it but it didn't hit for me emotionally how I thought it would. Still, very pretty, lots of enjoyable scheming and palace drama, and Bai Lu as Jiang Xuening was great. Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023, IQIYI) This was the one I gave in and subscribed for. Alas, the Venn diagram of what I got out of this one and what the rest of tumblr got out of it barely overlaps. It was entertaining but did not consume me; possibly the subversions of the usual dudes in the jianghu tropes were lost of me because I am not a great enthusiast of dudes in the jianghu. Loved Li Lianhua's hairpins though. Jun Jiu Ling (2021, Viki) Must a drama be technically good? Is it not enough to have a great script and an excellent cast and let your leads get a bit goofy with the romance? Where is the petition for Jin Han to be given romantic lead roles in costume dramas forever? Twisted Fate of Love (2020, Viki) No, seriously, where is the petition. Stop hogging Jin Han's time with contemporary dramas! I don't care about contemporaries! Ironically I came to this one off the back of Lost You Forever, because it also has Tan Jianci in it, but again with ruining a great actor by casting him as a dutiful prince character of boredom. Let the dudes smoulder, please! So I came out of this wanting more Jin Han smouldering and hence went on to Jun Jiu Ling. Come to think of it, possibly another reason I found Kunning Palace underwhelming was because I'd recently watched Twisted Fate of Love, and I think Twisted Fate of Love did it better. Best non-2023 drama I watched this year. Would rewatch again and again. The Legend of Anle (2023, Viki) I think the problem is since I've seen Word of Honor, every other Gong Jun role is a disappointment. I really like him tender, lovestruck and mischievous. (And Xiao Zhan, I have the same complaint to make about The Longest Promise.) Instead his character in this drama has all the appeal of a bowl of cold porridge. The most fun I had was with Anle and the princess - the rest of the drama felt like a paint by numbers exercise executed with the least possible amount of love. I wrote drawerfic to purge my feelings of betrayal over how the story handled a certain spoiler. Also, Anle was hot with white hair and they should have let her keep it. New Life Begins (2022, Viki) Hello the feel-good feminist solidarity palace drama of my heart. My crops were watered, my skin cleared and my heart lifted. The Heart of Jade/Heart of Loyalty (2021, Viki) Loveable urchin is adopted into Ye Olde cdrama cops, solves crime with serious older partner (opposites attract!). Slightly better made than Jun Jiu Ling, engaging story and cast, not so much comedy but lots of heart. I’ve Fallen For You (2020, IQIYI) Incredibly stupid and very sweet. I loved it but alas it got gradually fractionally less stupid and a bit more dramatic towards the end. I know the older couple's romance was played for laughs but also good for them? Fall In Love (2021, Viki) I am tacking this one on to the historical costume dramas because technically it is one, it's just the historical period is the republican era. Anyway, blazing sexual tension between leads and finishing up with a little joining the glorious communist revolution, as a treat. Must remember to finish writing that PWP I have outlined for it at some point.

Fantasy dramas

The Ghost Bride (2020, Netflix) Deserved much more budget than it apparently got, but they did their best with what they had and I respect that. FL's BFF who got like a whole two minutes total of screen time if she was lucky is my new celebrity crush. Please cast her in more things. The Longest Promise (2023, Netflix) Visually stunning, great costumes, nonsense storyline only saved by a majority-awesome main cast, and a truly godawful main romance. As far as I can tell, Xiao Zhan is just there to supply a warm body where the ML should be and something acceptable to rest one's eyes on. Again, the fact that I first saw him in a role in which he was animated, cheeky and apparently having fun has ruined my ability to appreciate him in stoic, dutiful roles. I kept watching for the FL and to see if the 2ML would get less doomed. Back From the Brink (2023, Viki) Beautiful visuals, excellent female lead, great comedy value in between the blood feuding and violence. Honestly I am mostly watching cdramas of all kinds for the female leads, the beautiful visuals and the laughs, so even though I felt it dragged at times and the storyline gave me occasional conniptions, I enjoyed it. The Starry Love (2023, Viki) YEA BOY! This one was fun, would watch again. It's on the very short list of dramas with weddings that don't go horribly wrong part way through (pro-tip: never plan to hold a wedding in a cdrama, it's got to be 100% spontaneous or someone will get stabbed) Till the End of the Moon (2023, Viki) My initial impression of this one was it seemed to have a lot of suffering for the grimdark sake of it, but it had cute and funny moments too. There was a lot going on throughout, so much so that I could have watched another 20 episodes probably and not complained it was too long. Would watch again, especially all the parts with Pian Ran.

Dramas I started but haven't finished yet

Flavour, It's Yours/Instead of Tipsy Why Not Get Drunk (2019, Viki) Picked up because Gong Jun was fun in Word of Honor, stayed for the wine, weirdly. Put it down because I am not feeling the romance. Our heroine needs a million dollars and all her life problems solved, but I don't believe she needs a boyfriend. Lost You Forever S1 (2023, Viki) Stopped at ep 31 not because I didn't like it but because I like it so much and there will be a season 2 and I want to be able to breeze through whatever emotional hell awaits at the end of season 1 straight into season 2, box of tissues in hand. Would watch again, repeatedly. Odds on for my favourite drama of 2024. Love is Sweet (2020, IQIYI) I had the subscription so I thought I would check it out. Contemporary settings are not my friend, but I stuck with it, and the makeout session in the hallway was super hot, but sadly the main romance went downhill from there and hence I bailed at ep 25. Imperial Doctress (2016, some random Youtube channel) This is not A Journey to Love and I can't believe it took me 7 episodes to stop and question it properly. I might come back and finish watching it though. Or not. In my disappointment I resubscribed to watch the actual A Journey to Love. Mr Bad (2022, Viki/IQIYI) Stopped watching this one midway in order to watch more costume dramas (I have priorities). The Blood of Youth (2022, Viki) I will probably come back to it eventually but I stopped watching this to watch more dramas with female leads (again with my priorities) Love is an Accident (2023, IQYI) Subscription ran out before I got to the end, other priorities took over when I renewed the subscription, but I was enjoying it and will be picking it back up now.

[isingasongforyou]

Popular, "conventionally attractive" character designs, especially in anime: Noses aren't as expressive as eyes, so we don't spend a lot of time or detail on them, and sometimes they're not visible at all!

Me: WANNA BET?

Genshin Impact has me drawing a lot of my favorite beautiful men, but when they're all from the same series, how do we tell them apart? Easy--we give them different facial features--INCLUDING noses! (After all, it's not like Aether is in love with 8+ copies of the same guy, right? 😉)

I've been working on developing distinct features for each of my favorite Genshin boys since I started drawing Genshin Impact fanart in 2021. I drew this image partially as an exercise and partially as a visual tool to remind myself how I distinguish each of their noses (and skin tones).

Alas, I still haven't gotten around to drawing /every single one/ of my favorite boys, so I only included the ones I've drawn at least twice (since I have a better idea of how I want their faces to look).

It just goes to show--spite is a great motivator, as I've never been as enthused about breaking out of "same-face syndrome" as I have since I started playing Genshin! 😉

[naturalskincareremedies]

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If you want, I can help create an infographic or a product comparison chart to visually showcase these substances. Would that be helpful?

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[restaurant-reviews]

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2. DHA (Docosahexaenoic Acid) – The Brain Booster

DHA is a structural component of the brain and eyes, making it essential for cognitive function, memory, and focus. It's also vital for nervous system development and may reduce the risk of neurodegenerative diseases over time. Whether you're a student, professional, or simply want to stay sharp, DHA is your go-to fatty acid.

🧪 Recommended Dose: A daily intake of 400–800 mg of DHA supports optimal brain health. Pregnant women and older adults may require higher amounts for neurological protection and development.

3. ALA (Alpha-Linolenic Acid) – The Plant-Based Precursor

ALA is a short-chain omega-3 found in plant sources like flaxseed, chia, and walnuts. While ALA can convert into EPA and DHA, the conversion rate is quite low. Still, it’s a valuable source of omega-3s for vegetarians and supports cardiovascular health, skin hydration, and antioxidant defense.

🧪 Recommended Dose: For general health, aim for 1100 mg/day (women) and 1600 mg/day (men) of ALA from dietary or supplemental sources.

Why You Need Omega-3s Daily

Most modern diets are high in Omega-6 fatty acids (found in vegetable oils and processed foods), which can cause an imbalance that contributes to inflammation. Omega-3s bring balance, calming inflammation and supporting everything from brain function to heart rhythm and joint mobility.

Key Benefits:

✅ Reduces joint pain and stiffness

✅ Enhances focus and memory

✅ Supports heart and blood vessel health

✅ Promotes skin hydration and elasticity

✅ May reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression

✅ Supports eye health and visual acuity

Choosing the Right Omega-3 Supplement

For maximum benefit, choose a supplement that delivers at least 1000–2000 mg of total Omega-3s per day, with a balanced ratio of EPA and DHA. Opt for high-purity, molecularly distilled fish oil or algae-based options if you're vegetarian. Bonus: Look for formulas with added vitamin E to prevent oxidation and maintain freshness.

Time to Take the Leap Toward Better Health

Omega-3s are more than just another supplement — they’re essential for total wellness. Whether you're aiming for peak performance, better focus, or lifelong vitality, Omega-3s provide the foundation your body and mind need.

Don’t wait. Give your brain, heart, and joints the support they deserve. Shop now and experience the power of Omega-3 — nature’s most effective health ally.

Let me know if you'd like a product recommendation or bundle idea based on this content!

"For a comprehensive look at [topic], browse our website's extensive collection of articles."

[middleagerunblog]

XVII.

Week 2 Recap

Exercise:

Sun Dec 17 - walked 10,000 steps on a travel day

Mon Dec 18 - 11:03a, outdoors near home, 3 mi, 30:40, 10:11 pace

Tue Dec 19 - 6:07a, outdoors near home, 30 min tempo run, 10 min easy/15 min acceleration/5 min easy, working out to 3.25 mi, 9:13 pace

Wed Dec 20 - 6:11a, outdoors near home, 3 mi, 30:44, 10:13 pace

Thu Dec 21 - rest

Fri Dec 22 - 6:22a, outdoors near home, 3 mi pace run, 4.5 mi total, 1 mi easy, next 3 at 8:20/8:47/8:37, then 0.5 mi easy

Sat Dec 23 - 9:02a, outdoors home to Econ Wilderness Area and back, 6 mi, 1:01:54, 10:17 pace

Diet:

Rough start to the week, Sunday was final day of soccer tournament 2.5 hours from home, crappy eating all around that bled into the next few days. Rallied for strong Wednesday and Thursday, then Friday was what Fridays can be during the holidays, and honestly Saturday could be graded more harshly but I went easy on myself.

So I followed up last week's B+/B performance with a B-/C+ result this week. 2.81 EGPA after 2 weeks, need a 3.38 performance in week 3 to get to 3.0 B average for the first quarter.

Alcohol for the week - no 6 in one day like last week, but I had 2 drinks 4 times: Sun, Mon, Fri, Sat. So that makes 8 for the week, over one per day average for the week. Makes 14 total, averaging 1 per day through 2 weeks. Maybe I'll make a chart for this in future weeks too, something to visualize me doing better here going forward.

Weigh-in:

Did my second weigh-in on Friday, 191.1, so up 0.2 in a week. I mean, not great, would love to be able to lose weight in the first half of this 12-week program. But then the holidays are right here at the beginning, so I don't know what to think here. I still have another holiday week coming, so let's see how next week goes. Going to keep pushing forward here. Getting down to low 180s may not be possible, but mid 180s still is.

Music:

New version of "Last Christmas" I heard this year:

I'm sort of a "Last Christmas" aficionado so it's difficult to find an old version I haven't heard before, but here's a version I don't think gets enough play:

And of course an old version, the best version, the original:

Rereading:

I thought I'd have more quotes from this book to base blog posts around. The first time reading this book, I remember so many interesting passages seemed like jumping off points for my thoughts about life and running. Alas, there's only been 3 in 2 weeks I've used thus far.

Still rereading slowly this time around to pair with the blog, I read chapters 6-11 the past week. Kafka and Oshima discus Franz Kafka short stories during this stretch. During my first runthrough, I did pause and read In the Penal Colony. I ought to reread that, plus read a few others if I need more to read over the next 10 weeks.

In a flashback it's revealed that although 15 of 16 kids in the Rice Bowl Hill incident back in WW2 recovered after 2 hours with no lasting damage, Nakata, the 16th, didn't wake up for 2 weeks, and remembered nothing of his life, not his parents, not that he was in Japan or even on earth. The formerly bright student was a shell of his former self.

In present day, Nakata is a slow-witted adult that can talk to cats. He lives in Tokyo, subsisting off a government subsidy plus a side hustle, putting his special talent to work finding lost cats. One Siamese cat tells him his shadow is weak, stop chasing cats and look for the other half of his shadow. But he learns that a scary man has been kidnapping cats in a vacant lot nearby, so Nakata decides to check there. The Siamese cat warns him the world is a violent place. Nakata doesn't understand.

In Takamatsu, Kafka keeps up his routine of staying at the hotel, working out at the gym, then reading at the library for 7 consecutive days. The next day he wakes up in the middle of the night next to a shrine in part of town he doesn't recognize with someone else's blood on his clothes. He takes a cab to Sakura's and spend the night there. He comes clean about everything going on his life, the running away, etc. Except he leaves out the part that he senses some sort of omen.

They lie in bed together. She says she has a boyfriend, she views Kafka as a younger brother, but she--um--jerks him off, then he goes back to his sleeping bag. She goes to work, and he leaves a note, telling her he needs to leave to figure things out for himself.

[bricin]

Eye Health

h/t https://hubermanlab.com/dr-jeffrey-goldberg-how-to-improve-your-eye-health-and-offset-vision-loss/

Daily Practices for Eye Health

Throughout the day, your eyes have to adjust in many ways in order for you to maintain a crisp, sharp image of the world around you. The lens of the eye is “relaxed” when looking off in the distance, such as when looking towards the horizon. To focus on closer objects, the eye adjusts by thickening the lens to bring these objects into sharp view. When you spend many hours focused on close-up objects (computers, screens, phones), the eye muscles and nerves that control them are working hard. Over time, viewing objects up close for most of the day changes the length of the eyeball. These changes make quickly focusing on different distances — especially far-off ones — more challenging and can exacerbate myopia (nearsightedness).

To maintain healthy eyes, focus on periodically letting your eyes relax throughout the day. If you do a lot of up-close work (computer, reading, etc.), aim for more balance of near and far viewing, and allow your eyes to view far-off distances multiple times throughout the day. Try taking calls or joining a meeting while sitting outside or while walking, or look out a window to the furthest location you can. You don’t need to fixate on one visual location; rather, viewing to multiple distances far away (beyond 3 feet out to infinity) is key. Frequently focusing on close-up objects (e.g., computers) can predispose you to tension headaches too. In fact, for every 30-60 minutes of up-close work, allow all your face muscles to relax (including the jaw muscles) for 1-5 minutes or so while viewing things further out in the distance. Even more time viewing things in the distance in this relaxed manner would be better, but most people are simply not able to divorce themselves for more than 1-5 minutes per every waking hour from screens viewed up close. Still, do what you can. Headaches and fatigue due to up-close viewing can also be mitigated by “optic flow.” Get outside for a walk, run or bike ride. Don’t read on your phone for more than a glance or so while doing these activities, of course! The panoramic vision and optic flow induced by self-generated movement can reduce anxiety and improve mood. Alas, while exercise is good, optic flow is not the same on a stationary bike or treadmill. Get outside and move as best and as often as you safely can. The incidence of myopia is rising around the world, particularly in kids and young adults, who spend more time indoors. Wu et al. found that kids who get more than two hours of sunlight daily have lower incidence of myopia. Much of this effect is probably due to far viewing, and yet we also know that sunlight activates specific neurons in the eye called intrinsically photosensitive retinal ganglion cells that indirectly control blood flow and support the ciliary body (which controls the aperture of the eye) to improve eye health. Those mechanisms may explain why getting outside for 2+ hours/day of sunlight can protect from and possibly help reverse myopia.

Try to get outside for 2+ hours a day, preferably without sunglasses — unless of course your eyes are very sensitive — and NEVER stare at the sun. A brimmed hat is fine if you need it; people vary in their sensitivity to brightness. If you must, take your work outside to reach that 2 hours. You can still focus on a computer, studying or working outside, as the ambient sunlight will aid eye health and contribute positively to overall health. Remember to take visual breaks throughout the day to do far viewing, even if working outside. Eye Training Exercise

Try the following exercises to help improve voluntary control of these muscles to improve vision, focus eyes quickly to different distances, and offset age-related vision decline:

Smooth Pursuit Eye Task –

Practice following a small object with your eyes. Try to follow the object with smooth eye movements — not allowing eyes to dart from one point to another. In nature, practice this type of eye movement by watching a bird in flight. Or, during a sports game, try smoothly tracking a tennis ball, golf ball or hockey puck. You can also practice this exercise at your computer. Try to complete this type of exercise for 2-3 minutes, 3x per week.

Near-Far Exercises –

Accommodation is the eye’s ability to adjust focus to objects near or farther away by changing the optics of the eye and lens itself. As some of you might have already experienced, this ability naturally declines with age, and it takes more time to focus on objects at different distances (e.g., focusing on a server at a restaurant, then looking down to read the menu). Train eye muscles by visually focusing on a pen or other small object positioned about 1.5 feet in front of your eyes. Slowly, move the object closer toward your nose while keeping the object in focus. Continue to move the object closer and closer until the image gets blurry. With practice, your ability to move the object nearer to you while maintaining sharp focus will improve. The effort involved will also be less over time. You can also practice this exercise in reverse: focus on an object near to you, then move it farther away. Improve your control of eye muscles and the associated neural connections by practicing this exercise for around 1-2 minutes every other day. Set Your Circadian Clock

The eyes are also important for communicating information about the environment to set your body’s circadian clock (sleep-wake and hormone cycles). The melanopsin retinal ganglion cells that reside in the back of the eyes (in the retina) signal the time of day to the brain. This information affects sleep rhythms, mood, alertness, hormones, metabolism, learning/memory, pain thresholds, blood glucose, cortisol and dopamine levels. These cells are maximally activated in response to blue-yellow light contrasts that are present in low solar angle sunlight (i.e., sunlight in the early morning and early evening).

To maintain circadian rhythm consistency, ensure you get 5-10 minutes of sunlight viewing (minimum) as soon as possible after you wake up. Try to get outside a second time in the late afternoon or early evening to do the same as well. Sunlight early in the morning will prime your body to sleep 12-16 hours later and improve overall energy and mood throughout the day along with regular awake-sleep and other 24-hour rhythms. The melanopsin retinal ganglion cells are very sensitive and able to detect even relatively dim light at night. Nighttime activation of these cells can disrupt sleep, reduce melatonin, and reduce next-day dopamine release, and it may exacerbate myopia. Try to minimize light in your sleeping environment. If you need to use light, such as when walking to the bathroom, try using a red light. The longer wavelengths of red/orange light do not sufficiently activate the melanopsin cells — unless they are very bright. Also, try to wean kids off nightlights and make lights as dim as possible to reduce their chance of developing myopia. Even a small amount of light in the room can alter next-day glucose metabolism. Nutrition and Supplements for Eye Health

The photoreceptors and associated molecules of the eye can be further supported through a healthy diet:

Vitamin A is essential for phototransduction (the process of converting light energy into electric signals for the brain). A diet rich in dark, leafy green vegetables (like kale, spinach, romaine lettuce and broccoli) and yellow/orange vegetables & fruits (squash, pumpkin, carrots, mango, cantaloupe) will support sufficient vitamin A intake. Additional vitamin A is likely found in most foundational supplements. Lutein is another molecule known to support the eye’s phototransduction processes. Foods such as egg yolk and dark, leafy vegetables are rich sources of lutein. There is also evidence that lutein supplementation (10-20 mg/day), can reduce moderate to severe age-related macular degeneration. By focusing on a diet rich in nonprocessed fruits and vegetables, you will best be able to derive the antioxidant and vitamin support important for overall health, including eye health.

[therealvinelle]

What are vampires?

(Yes, I changed the title from “What is venom?” a week after publishing and after a whole set of sorry souls reblogged the post. I’m very sorry, but as I sat down to write the follow-up piece I realized that this meta is about vampires, not venom, and the title is no longer appropriate. My perfectionism got the better of me and I’m sorry.)

There’s been a lot of speculation on that in this fandom, here comes my take. It’ll split into four parts, this being part one where I look at what venom does to the human body. In part two I look at hybrids, part three I speculate on what venom is, part four I treat possible origins and raisons d’être of venom.

So, this first part is mostly me regurgitating facts. We won’t get anywhere if we’re not all agreed on what vampires are.

Also, I get very pseudo-scientific in this meta, but I have no education in biology or medicine so I could be wrong about everything. I tried to use good sources, though, so I can’t be entirely off-base.

With that out of the way, LET’S DO THIS.

To create a vampire, you infect a human with venom. This venom spreads throughout the body, altering every cell. The process is complete when the heart stops beating. If the human was injured at the time of infection, they will be healed, as long as the heart keeps beating.

Let’s go through that.

How does the venom spread?

When Bella was bitten by James, Edward was able to suck the venom out. Several minutes passed from she was bitten until Edward sucked the venom out, yet the burn was only reported to be in her hand. By contrast, anyone who’s ever had pharmaceutical administered intravenously knows that blood travels quickly. If venom travelled like any normal fluid, Bella would have said «My hand is on fire. No wait, my arm! No, wait, my torso! No, wait-» and Edward wouldn’t have been able to suck it out.

Additionally, Bella has that scar left by James. The venom had already altered the cells at the entry point.

To me, this sounds like the venom is like Pac-Man, spreading through the body by altering one cell at a time. It’s the only explanation for why it’s so slow. More on that later, though.

How does it alter the cells, and in turn the human body?

Physically, their skin is made impervious and perfectly even, their teeth are straight, razor sharp and white, their bodies impossibly strong, fast, and precise, their senses heightened to an insane degree yet they feel no pain from most physical injuries. Their digestive system is altered so they can only consume blood, preferably human blood, anything non-blood is regurgitated. They’re much more attractive than they were in life. They’re not reliant on oxygen, and their blood doesn’t circulate. They produce their own venom.

Mentally, their minds function at the capacity necessary to even utilize a body like this. They are able to process their heightened sensory input (for example, it’s the brain that interprets visual input from the eyes. For vampires to be able to see better than humans, both eye and brain have to improve), process though much faster than humans, they forget nothing, and they feel emotion and physical sensation more strongly than humans do.

Let’s go through these alterations one by one.

Skin

Frequently likened to marble, vampire skin is as hard as stone. When Bella becomes a vampire, she’s stunned Edward’s flesh now yields to her touch. Before, if she pressed her finger on him, his skin would not yield. The shapeshifters can kill vampires because their fangs are sharp enough to pierce their skin, without that advantage they couldn’t do it. No ordinary weapon could injure a vampire.

The stone skin is an armor, protecting them.

Teeth

As us humans get older, the enamel in our teeth is worn away, revealing the tooth’s underlying yellow color (the dentin). Vampires can live for thousands of years, yet their teeth remain that perfect blinding white. What changed? I see two possible explanations, one being that vampires still have enamel, and it’s too strong to ever be worn away, or they don’t have it because their teeth have been altered to the point where they don’t need a protective layer anymore, and their composition is something completely different from that of human teeth.

I think it’s the latter, as there are two other major changes reported. Their teeth have changed shape, they are now sharp enough to pierce through human or vampire skin. They’re also venomous (more on that later), able to inject anybody they bite, fellow vampires included, with venom.

There’s also the fact that vampires are changed on a molecular level, but more on that later.

Strength, speed, and precision

Meta I wrote on vampire strength disparity.

Vampires are ridiculously powerful, no upper limit (as in, «Newborn Emmett can carry 500 tonnes») is given, but whatever it is it’s high. Alice might just be the physically weakest vampire in the saga (Jane is physically smaller, but she eats properly. Alice lives on a subpar diet), but to Bella it makes no difference, Alice blows her out of the park anyway. Edward, a malnourished and not too strong vampire, is easily able to pick up entire trees by the roots, and then throw them at a small target.

As for speed, vampires move faster than the human eye can register, which according to this article means they can reach a speed of 38 146 mph! (61 390 km/h for us metric people) (Also, the traveling object used for this calculation was a ball, and the article specifies that it would be different for bigger objects. Alas I’m not going to bother my physicist friend with this, so we’re using the ball number.)

When it comes to precision, vampires exercise perfect muscle control. They’re so graceful their steps can’t be heard by humans,  Edward can famously stroke a soap bubble without popping it, and they’re able to perfectly mimic the handwriting of others (a task anyone who’s ever googled forensic calligraphy will know is next to impossible). Much of this appears to be instinctual, like a downloaded .vampire package. Knowing how to attack prey, where to bite, that all happens on autopilot. So too does running, jumping, walking (funny how their default mode, even Carlisle’s, is to walk too quietly for their designated prey to detect). Snarling, hissing, and growling are also distinctly non-human manners vampire adopt.

Senses

Heightened sight, hearing, and smell is extremely useful. It makes them much more effective hunters. The smell especially is useful here, but really, all their senses are invaluable in this. It’s great for dealing with fellow vampires as well, they can see, hear, and smell their kind coming from a far distance.

There’s an added advantage, though. As I got into here, and here, if a vampire’s memories of their human life is dull and washed out compared to their brilliant new existence, dismissing humans as equally deserving of life becomes that much easier to justify. Heightened emotions serves this same purpose, though considering their longevity I think this is another form of survival, that they’re wired not to grow bored with life (but this is really for a separate meta).

There’s also the fact that their senses have to be tuned up to 11 to fit their other enhanced abilities. There’s no use in super-speed if you can’t see where you’re going.

Vampires’ heightened senses make them more efficient predators, and help them become the bloodthirsty sociopaths we know and love.

Pain receptors, or lack thereof

Vampires feel pain when they are thirsty, when their limbs are torn off, when they are bitten by other vampires (it appears to be the venom that stings), or when subjected to a gift that induces pain (Jane, Kate). They don’t feel pain like humans do, nor do they feel discomfort (they can sit indefinitely in any position, never feeling the need to shift around.

Interestingly, it looks to me like pain serves the same function for them as it does for humans. The brain registers pain to tell us something, a biological error message. Don’t walk on that leg, it’s injured. Get your hand off the hot stove and don’t put it there again. Pain is useful.

Vampires, by contrast, are not going to get injured from someone hitting them. There are no blood vessels that can burst, no soft tissue that can burst nor bones that can break. So, no need for their brains to register that as pain. Humans need to change positions every now and then for the sake of our circulation and so we don’t develop pressure ulcers (and I’m sure there are more reasons), vampires have no circulation and, as mentioned above, their skin is armor. No pressure ulcers.

What they do need pain for, is to let them know to feed. That’s the big one, and in turn the strongest one. The pain of the thirst is unbearable, as it has to be to turn a human who was infected with venom into a killer. It’s survival. Same goes for feeling pain when their limbs are torn off, or their bodies damaged by a bite. Their pain receptors let them know to avoid this next time.

As for Jane and Kate’s gifts, this may not serve a purpose for other vampires, but it serves a purpose for Jane and Kate. It protects them. So, sucks for everyone else, but that’s what gifts do, they give the gift-haver a leg up on others.

Digestive system

Carlisle had spent many years attempting to understand our immortal anatomy; it was a difficult task, based mostly on assumption and observation. Vampire cadavers were not available for study.

His best interpretation of our life systems was that our internal workings must be microscopically porous. Though we could swallow anything, only blood was accepted by our bodies. That blood was absorbed into our muscles and provided fuel. When the fuel was depleted, our thirst intensified to encourage us to replenish our supply. Nothing besides blood seemed to move through us at all. (Midnight Sun, chapter Home)

Ignoring the horrifying fact that the context for this quote is Edward wondering if Bella’s tear could stay in his system forever, this here is extremely interesting and I agree. Partly because I can’t think of anything better, partly because Carlisle is an in-universe medical genius who’s had access to far more data than I have. He can run experiments, I can’t. Even if I came up with a theory I thought was better, if blood absorption through porous tissue is Carlisle’s best theory then there must be evidence in favor of this which I don’t have access to. So, porous tissue it most likely is.

(Also, my «Carlisle totally volunteered for vivisection fun times with Aro in Volterra» theory survives that first paragraph. Vampire cadavers might not be available for study, but live ones absolutely are, you just pick them apart and put them back together after, and bring in Corin and/or Alec so the guinea pig has a good time too. There’s no way that never occurred to Aro. Even if it didn’t, it’s bound to have occurred to someone over the years, and Aro touches a lot of people. And we know he and Carlisle discussed what vampires even were, that they were best friends and all about that science.

We also know that sometimes, your weird science experiments involving dismemberment and tripping on Corin in Volterra, stay in Volterra. The tissue is porous, Edward, DON’T ASK ME HOW I KNOW.)

This has huge implications. What happened to the digestive system they used to have?

It’s still there, but non-operational.

Middle solution: it’s recognizably there, but welded shut. At some point, whatever the vampire ingests hits an untraversable boundary, and from there the blood is absorbed while any other matter remains, undigested (though possibly dissolved by venom) until regurgitated.

The vampire’s inner anatomy is unrecognizable from that of a human. Vampires have no need for livers, bowels, gall bladders, and so on, and so these organs no longer exist, or have even been replaced by other organs (assuming vampires need any, more on that later).

My vote lies with the third option, though both second and third are possible. The first one, not so much, as it means that in theory, they could force something through their system. They can’t.

More, vampires are nothing if not extremely efficient and economical organisms. They don’t need to feel pain from a physical blow, so they don’t. Why carry around these organs they’re not using?

Then there’s what they even need their digestive system to do. Humans need the nutrients in our meals not just as fuel, but as- well, everything. We need the building blocks for our cells. Our bodies are constantly renewing themselves. Vampires, by contrast, don’t appear to do this. There’s no waste of any kind, and their skin doesn’t get flaky. Edward specifically says blood is fuel, and I think that’s a literal interpretation.

Now we’re veering into speculation territory, and this isn’t the place for it just yet as we’re veering into what venom is and does, but I think whatever digestive process vampires have, serves to turn their blood to venom. I don’t think there’s any particular organ for this, I think that’s just because that’s what happens when venom comes into contact with blood. We see it happen when humans are bitten, and I think it’s fair to assume that the same thing happens when venom comes into contact with ingested blood.

This also helps explain why animal blood isn’t equal to human blood. Animals can’t be turned to vampires, it’s blood but venom and animal blood aren’t on the same FM, so to say. So, with no better option, yes venom can make do with animal blood, but it won’t perform as well as it would with human blood. The vampire is now weaker, with the frankly terrifying side effect that their eyes change color. We’re so used to this that we just go «oh, yeah, animal blood means their eyes turn yellow. It’s like a LED light letting you know which diet the vampire is on!» when in any other organism, a chance of color like that is usually the sign of something being wrong. Blue lips, yellow sclera, red urine, all color changes that point to something not being not as it should be.

Now, to go further here would mean getting more into what venom even is, which is best saved for part three. I’ll say this, venom appears to be the only fluid in the vampire body. It’s moistens their eyes (and melts their contacts), pools in their mouth, is injected through their fangs, and the application of venom to a wound makes them heal faster. Venom is the substance they rely on, more so even than blood, their elixir of life. (My speculation on how Edward was able to impregnate Bella is reserved for the hybrid/what is venom metas).

Also, on what vampires carry over from their human bodies, I do think they’re economical enough to not fix what ain’t broken. I think this because the human nervous system is absolutely brilliant, and indeed Bella regains sensation during her transformation where her spine had once been broken and unable to communicate with her brain. Question is, of course, was this because her new vampire body still uses the human nervous system, or did Bella regain sensation because her transformation had gotten to a point where this was no longer the case?

Beauty

The beauty part has gotten some very valid criticism, as beauty is very subjective and venom makes it out to be an objective, empirically measurable unit.

To caveat first, we see in canon that not all vampires are gorgeous. James was an ugly human, and so as a vampire he’s no beauty. Maggie was emaciated and not particularly attractive, so she’s bony and not hot by vampire standards. The Cullens, by contrast, were attractive humans. Human Bella is a hottie, she pulls all the guys without issue. If she were as plain as she thinks she is, she wouldn’t get male attention. Being new is only gonna get her so far. Jasper was turned because Maria thought he was a cutie, and same goes for Emmett with Rosalie.

(There’s also a certain inherent bias - I imagine attractive people have a much higher chance of getting turned than uglies.)

More, understand that vampires don’t look human. They’re flawless, desirable, perfect, yes - but they are very distinctly not human, and humans know as much instinctively:

Like any normal human, suddenly standing just a foot away from a vampire would send adrenaline racing through his veins. Fear would twist in his stomach for just a fraction of a second, and then his rational mind would take over. His brain would force him to ignore all the little discrepancies that marked me as other. His eyes would refocus and he would see nothing more than a teenage boy. I watched him come to that conclusion, that I was just a normal boy. I knew he would be wondering what his body’s strange reaction had been about. (Midnight Sun, chapter 21, page 547)

Vampires are beautiful in the way the Nefertiti bust is beautiful. It’s perfect, otherworldly, timelessly beautiful, but looking at it you know this is a bust and not a living human woman.

With that in mind, I think some of the vampire’s unnatural beauty is… not circumstantial, but happy bonuses to their other qualities. Their perfect skin, for instance, goes a long way towards making them beautiful. Perfectly smooth, a glowing white, no disruptions like blackheads, scarring, or sweat. At one point Bella describes Rosalie as looking airbrushed. Their perfect teeth, impeccable grace, these features also help.

Now, I think when venom makes a human more beautiful, I think the big thing it does is make the features perfectly symmetrical. This by itself is immediately inhuman and unnatural, more computer generated than human, just perfect enough to tick off the uncanny valley box. This would explain the flawlessness Bella keeps describing in vampires. It also explains the disparity in beauty, the features Rosalie had to work with and get symmetrical were lovelier than the ones James had, and why they can look completely different from each other yet share that same kind of uncanny impeccability. It also explains how people of wildly different face types and ethnicities can all be beautiful, the venom won’t erase the features you had but rather refine them into the best they can be.

I do think that refinement, in addition to symmetry, happens. If it didn’t, the change wouldn’t be so radical from human to vampire. More, all vampires are described as having sharp features, Esme stands out for the fact that she retained some of her human softness. So, the venom appears to make features more angular and, well, sharp.

Aro’s description is in favor of my interpretation of vampiric beauty: 

I couldn't decide if his face was beautiful or not. I suppose the features were perfect. But he was as different from the vampires beside him as they were from me. His skin was translucently white, like onionskin, and it looked just as delicate (New Moon, page 234)

His features are flawless, meaning symmetrical. He should be beautiful, so it’s the skin that gives her pause.

There’s also the matter that beauty is observed in the body, not just the form. They all look strong and limber, even the tiniest of vampires. I imagine some of this is simply texture, that vampires are made hard, smooth, and perfect, but we have this from Bella looking in the mirror after waking up a vampire:

She was fluid even in stillness, and her flawless face was pale as the moon against the frame of her dark, heavy hair. Her limbs were smooth and strong, skin glistening subtly, luminous as a pearl. (Breaking Dawn, page 261)

Fluid even in stillness, her limbs smooth and strong. This woman was starving to death when she died. Combined with the fact that Edward, who was a sick 17-year-old, has muscle definition, it seems venom does body sculpting as well. Though it’s worth noting that hydration goes a long way towards muscle definition for humans, so the change in fluid composition in vampires could have something to do with it their limber appearance.

Then there’s the other vampire beauty markers.

Their voices are described quite unusually, with words like wind chimes, bells, or feathers. They’re beautiful, but, like everything else about vampires, inhuman. When Carlisle calls Billy on the phone, Billy immediately recognized the voice as somehow wrong, it’s too clear and sharp.

I mean, I think in part this is because their vocal cords aren’t made of soft human tissue anymore, but most likely stone. No matter what they’re made of, though, it’s no surprise that we’re not getting human voices out of them.

Their scent is appetizing to humans and other vampires alike, and serves a duel purpose. Humans are attracted to them (well, vampires are too), while vampires are able to use it for tracking purposes. It’s tremendously useful for keeping track of your territory, as randos can’t walk in and eat your food and sneak off again without leaving a trail. It’s also good for meeting up with friends, we see Carlisle and Siobhan use it for this purpose in Midnight Sun.

Circulation

The purpose of blood is to carry oxygen and nutrients to the cells. Apparently, this isn’t a need vampires have. All they need is venom. The theory that their tissue is porous adds to this, as it would mean blood travels through their body in a different manner. The porous tissue replaces circulation.

So, no circulation for vampires because they don’t need it.

This meta is now getting ridiculously long, so I’m putting the venom production section in the venom meta.

The transformation

The transformation is complete when the heart stops beating. The former human is now a vampire, and no longer reliant on a heartbeat, nor oxygen. In this they are different from hybrids.

As for the process itself, I think that as the venom spreads, it starts multiplying on its own. This is why it took longer for Carlisle than it did Bella, she was bitten and injected multiple times and on every part of her body while Carlisle was grazed on the arm. Bella had more venom that could work on her, Carlisle did not. These facts support my theory of the slow spread of venom.

I’ve played with the thought of the transformation happening in stages, where the first act is the spread of the venom, which then spreads throughout the body and heals the body to put it at default, the second act is the bodysculpting, and the third act the finishing touches. It doesn’t quite fit with venom transforming as it goes, though, so I’m very hm on that.

A few observations:

Activity level doesn’t appear to help spread the venom. Carlisle exerted himself, and his transformation took far more time than normal (though lying still instead of contorting in agony probably doesn’t help in that regard). Bella laid still as a corpse, and her transformation took far less time than normal. The venom spreads in its own time, regardless of what the blood circulation is up to.

Going by the accounts of the Cullens, while the pain is constant, the transformation hurts increasingly as the venom spreads.

Bella was severely injured, and needed to be healed before she could even feel all the pain. Her broken spine, for instance, meant she couldn’t feel below the waist.

Carlisle said it’s «easier if the blood is weak» (cryptic much?! Not making it easy for me, dude. Though as this was said in the context of Edward explaining that Carlisle would only turn someone already dying, I do think he’s referring to what it’s like for vampires, though, that humans are not so tempting if they’re half dead.)

Healing

Now we’re veering into the venom meta, but: the transformation fixes anything that could impede the vampire’s function. Bella would get nothing done with her post-birth broken body, and so she’s fixed up for her. Alice’s emaciation means she’s thin and less strong than others, it doesn’t physically prevent her from doing anything.

The venom, it appears, heals the human not because it’s being altruistic, nor to make the vampire more appealing to others, but to make the human into an ideal host. BUT MORE ON THAT IN THE VENOM META.

With that, my god we’re done. And this meta is  words in total, an ugly number.

Lastly, I know that putting a read more at the end of a 4k long meta is the worst joke in the world (RIP to you poor souls scrolling past this. My reason for not being a read more kind of gal to be found here)

Nothing yet, I’m afraid.

[meimae]

01/02/22

Hello and welcome to my first immersion overview of 2022! ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ✧

If you're new here, hi, I'm Mae, and this is a list of media I listened to and read this month using the immersion or input method for Japanese language learning.

I came into the month thinking I knew exactly which books I wanted to read and dramas I wanted to see. Of course, not all my plans worked out and I had to work around some weird immersion material choices and unexpected but probably overdue gaps in my learning.

And so we come to this, a month where I almost didn't watch any dramas - I wouldn't have even watched 消えた初恋 literally on the last day of the month if I didn't realize how short it was. It had a standard fluffy plot, so it was simple and easy to listen to in the background while I was dying in grammar hell. ヾ(｡>﹏<｡)ﾉﾞ✧*。

Ah yes, grammar. The bane of my Japanese language learning journey. There's a reason I picked immersion learning as my method, and it was because I absolutely hated grinding grammar exercises in the classroom. I just wanted the language to wash over me, obviously while obsessively doing look-ups while immersing, and somehow magically be able to turn my passive knowledge from input into active output.

But alas, my anxiety has gotten the best of me, and I started to fear that the language books I did read and grind in Anki, Tae Kim and the Dictionary of Japanese Grammar, had run its course and it was finally time to sit down with another grammar resource to stitch up the loose ends.

So for the past week, I've been taking advice from people who seemed to be better at the subject than I am, and I have started to grind through the 新完全マスター 文法 N1 and N2 books, and yes, even the exercises.

Can't say I'm too happy about it, since it has so far drained my energy to read for fun, but if its going to help me somewhat based on other immersion learners' experiences, then I'm willing to give it a try. On the bright side, at least its written fully in Japanese! Never a break from immersion.

And so while I was struggling to get back on the reading grind this last week, I started to read a few chapters of 無職転生. Admittedly, still not much of a light novel reader and its not even for a lack of content I'm interested in, just a lack of drive and motivation. It's something I'd like to work harder on this year.

On the other hand, ひいきびいき is as fun to listen to as ever, now that I have a better reading base. I can still tell there are gaps in my comprehension, but at least it does not sound like gibberish to me like it did a year ago. Progress!

I wish I could tell you guys that I had a good time reading visual novels this month, but honestly it felt like a mess. If seven different visual novels shuffled within a month doesn't clue you in with the kind of concentration struggle I had, then I don't know what to tell you. At least I kept my 1M reading streak. (ﾉ∀`)

My motivation reading VNs started strong and promising, and I finished PARQUET (the beginner VN at TheMoeWay Discord) within the first few days of the month. I was also made aware of the fact that the Steam version of 剣が君 had a lot of bonus content that I missed out on because of the version I played, and so my friend Alex kindly let me read everything I missed. It was absolutely lovely, 11/10. It has been months and nothing has beat this game yet for me.

Then, with my reading high, I turned my attention to the intermediate VN from TMW, and that's where it all went south. 紙の上の魔法使い' s blurb sounded so promising, but I couldn't read past (or listen past for that matter) some stupid lines from the female characters, and so it now unfortunately sits on my stalled pile of VNs. I feel like I got baited into thinking that the characters in this game were smart because they supposedly liked reading. Who knows, maybe I'll revisit it when I'm in the mood for moe girls, but something tells me that it will take a while or never.

In my frustration with the previous game, and due to some previously hyped conversations with my friend Alex from Discord, I decided to play her favorite VN on a whim without looking at the VNDB tags (which proved to be a mistake on my part - always read the tags to filter out games with triggers). Let me introduce you to Omega Vampire, something completely far from my comfort zone, which proved to be detrimental to my reading as well later on.

Count this as the review I have for this game, apparently omegaverse is a huge thing and this game does it well, but it was not enough of a pull for me because I have no idea what the omegaverse is, and I also don't particularly enjoy vampire/werewolf stories thanks Twilight so there's that. So after a while when this VN kept on showing me disturbing sexual content without consent, I had to quit after two routes. Honestly, if I sat and read for another four days or so I could have finished it, but if I had to rinse my eyeballs everytime I tried to read then I'd rather read something else. So yeah, this goes into the stalled pile as well.

Luckily, the TMW Joseimuke Media Club pick for the month, レムレスブルーの午前２時, seemed to be wholesome, so alongside あかやあかしやあやかしの, and because I was heavily inspired by my friends in voice chat, I finally ventured into output territory and did a few hours of 朗読 with these two unvoiced VNs. I also had a brief opportunity to read in voice chat while a native Japanese speaker was watching and got 上手'd for the first time - a clue that I need to put a focus on output more.

The real star of the show this month for me though was the VN Club's quarterly pick, White Album 2. My expectations were high for this one, since its one of the admin's favorite games, and finally, finally, I was not disappointed.

The writing has been spectacular so far, and the music just adds to the mood and vibe so much that I couldn't stop reading the introductory chapter for three days within 6 hour sessions.

Gosh, so jazzy, its so good! My favorite kind of music. I love vibing to this while studying grammar - it makes it less painful to do.

I'm actually still very excited to continue reading White Album 2. It gives me so many butterflies when I think about it, so it will be my main read for February alongside the VNs I've dedicated for 朗読, and quite possibly yet another otome game from the club.

At least I learned something from this - my comfort zone is my comfort zone for a reason. It's fine to try out new things, but if it makes me frustrated or uncomfortable, its not going to be worth it regardless of how much it can improve my skill. *coughgrammarcough*

-☆-

Here's to hoping for better concentration and grammar progress in February! Still don't know how I'm going to go about studying it, but hopefully whatever it is includes better time management and just reading more than I currently have. Clearly, something I was doing was working, since I could comprehend well enough and in turn produce lengthy and detailed reviews, but output, output, is where it comes down to, and the thought of it getting stalled makes me worried. It's either the dedicated grammar study or the 朗読 that's going to push it further, and I'm going to try my best on dedicating time for both.

Thanks for reading, and I'll catch you all next time! (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

[nerdyqueerr]

Tell me all about Säm you don't have to be normal

OH OH OKAY WELL

Shes my curse of strahd PC and i simply cant believe shes lived this long since shes a hopelessly self sacrificing bloodhunter stuck in a gothic horror setting. Shes also a werewolf but she was raised by the bloodhunter order who caused the death of her lycanthropic relatives and they dont know she has the Wolf Gene. This is a very subtle allegory.

Essentially shes got a lot going on, between repeatedly trying to be Good and Virtuous through self sacrifice like she was taught, her hopeless romance arc attempts with npc Ireena, and the slow process of getting in touch with the Darkness Within and realising that maybe its ok actually (Barovia is the perfect setting for this since its supposed to make characters give in to their dark side).

Last session we cleared out Yesterhill which means she can now go through a Taming ritual, a variation on the lycanthrope bloodhunter subclass's ritual that should allow her to gain a bit of mechanical control over the werewolf shifting (she nearly killed her friends a few times oops). She's expecting another exercise in self discipline, control, sacrifice. In reality i plan to have her literally wrestle with her fears by fighting an ethereal snowy wolf. Once she gives up on fighting the wolf becomes gentle and she can come to terms with what she's becoming. I have lots of thoughts and feelings about her wolf :)

The other cool thing about her is I've been playing her as like.... slightly genre aware? Call it werewolf senses or bloodhunter culture, but gothic horror Rules come to her in a kinda meta way. This would be op were it not for the fact that she so desperately wants to be a good tragic hero that she'll throw herself into the gothic tropes with even more vigor than the rest of the party.

Beyond all of That, she just has rly cool visuals like her old bloodhunter order had a banging eye/sun motif which i am alas giving up for teeth/moon, her weapon is this kickass glaive with esoteric engravings and shes always covered in blood in a cool and sexy way and

I love her very much <3

[artmakerproductions]

“The Crookits” (#3) - The Family Pets: 1) Hank, a guard alligator who lives in their front yard pond. Tries to eat the mailman. Loves belly rugs and sitting in the warm lap of his owners. Regularly taken to the dog park for exercise and to socialize. Has sometimes tried to sneak a “snack” or two while there. Y’know the whole “what do you got in your mouth?” and the pet immediately runs away and the owner has to chase 'em down and get them to spit it out? Pretty much that. Behaviour modelled after this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O78CxqRl7NE  2) Sweetie, a literal scaredy cat who is easily frightened by everything — except the Crookits. Loosely modelled after the cat on the poster of “The Black Cat” (1941). 3) Dexter, an undersized dust devil (assumed to have been the runt of the litter) that the family took in and adopted after a trip to the American desert one summer. Regularly fed piles of sand. Has the dementor, temperament and size of an ankle bitter. 

🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 Happy spooky season everyone! 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 In THIS collaboration between me and my good buddy @mask131, we present to you our own spin on the “weird spooky family” trope that was popularized by “The Addams Family” and “The Munsters”, the ones a majority of you out there are probably the most familiar with. They are, The Crookits!

As I was first sketching up visuals, when I had the thought of making it a black family, or at least a mixed race one. To help stand out in the ‘weird spooky family’ crowd. As well as because more cartoons nowadays are featuring more non-white protagonists/characters as the leads. Plus famously, black people are hardly featured often in such gothic settings, ala Tim Burton. (If I’m correct). The father is a stay-at-home dad w/ the mother who is the breadwinner of the family runs a two-in-one business: a bed and breakfast and funeral home/mortuary. As to allow for a “guest (or guests) of the week” type formula w/ varying reactions to the family’s antics from those staying. Mixed in w/ the slice of life format for the family. As for said guests, which can end up being either monster or human. As to give some leeway w/ character making so that not every kooky character is directly related to the family. Like, a snooty and rude upper class monster family; or a typical suburban family that just finds the creepy aesthetic of the place charming. Y’know, to mix it up a bit from time to time. Perhaps rivals (both of the normal and abnormal sort) or people in the area/town who try and sabotage the business or drive the family out of town. “The Crookits”, a play on “crooked” if that wasn’t obvious X P Let us know what you think! : )