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olderjodijournals · 4 months ago

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SATURDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1994

My day had been going just fine but right now, I’m so mad I could scream. I was taping two movies for both of us and what did I do? Fucked up as usual and just like I did earlier when I went to tape something. Why can’t I do the simplest things right? Is something trying to tell me not to watch TV? Should I tell Tom and Andy not to bother to depend on me? Should I quit recording stuff for myself?

Well, there is good news and that’s that my medley’s done. There are 193 songs. None of Gloria, though, as she has her own medley. I’ve got a variety of stuff from dance/pop, country, instrumental, disco, oldies, etc.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 2, 1994

We now have the AC shut off for the year and now the swamp cooler is on. It feels great and I wish it had this feeling at the peak of the summer. The air’s so fresh and clean and my lungs are great.

Tom trimmed a half-inch off my hair yesterday and every 6 weeks or so we’ll do this.

I went through all my makeup and ditched some old stuff I’d had for ages. I really should get new mascara as I’ve had the one I’m using now for over a year.

We accomplished a lot yesterday. We finally sorted all our mail and papers. I do whatever I want with my mail, but when the mail comes in, Tom tosses what he doesn’t want and I file the rest. We also planted the 5 cactus plants around the pool yesterday morning. They look great.

I was surprised that next door was so quiet. I hear them occasionally when I go out back, but lately I’ve been blessed by the absence of them and across the street. Well, more than lately. They’ve all been quiet for several months. At least I know I have the fan and the music as a weapon against whatever if I need it.

Did I mention that I finished the medley? I’m sure I did, but anyhow, it’s got some parts I could’ve done better, but it’s great for the most part.

Tom said don’t worry about botching up his movie as it’s on a lot. Yeah, I’ve seen it listed quite frequently, but it’s not on this week. He said I should record more stuff to get my confidence back. Well, I haven’t checked to see yet if the two movies I taped came out OK, but I’ll soon see.

Right now I think I’ll go have some coffee, then I’ll write more later. First though, the B drive on the computer’s broken. That’s the drive I used for my journals, so now if I do anything with them I’ll use the C drive. That’s pretty much the main drive. I use it for letters and other stuff.

Later…

Sex for us is getting more frequent which is great and the sex is always great. For me. I’m still confused when it comes to Tom. He sure as hell acts like he likes it and he always gets rock-hard and tells me how sexy I am. I do believe him when he tells me I’m sexy, and not just cuz I want to.

I can’t cum by penetration alone, and I know everyone’s different and that’s fine. It’d also be just fine if he came out and told me he doesn’t want to cum. There are things he knows I don’t want to do. Like go down on him, so that I can understand. Also, I’d understand if he had a physical problem that affected him sexually. The big question still remains. Did he lie to me when he said he came those two times when nothing came out? He says he didn’t cum much anyway, but then why was he worried about messing up my sheets?

I toyed with the idea that he was holding back so as not to get me pregnant, but he couldn’t get me pregnant by cumming in my hand. Then I realized that maybe he felt it’d look funny if he only came in my hand out of not wanting to get me pregnant and I’d think my pussy just wasn’t good enough like my hand would be. Maybe he feels that’d look a little obvious. It really scares me to admit to myself that he could be lying about this. If he is, and I do say if, I hope he’ll someday soon have the heart and the courage to tell me why. Why? I’ve never caught him in a lie before. There’s only one other thing he’s ever said that I doubted. He said he could sleep through sounds if he knew what it was and who.

He slept through them moving in next door, raising holy hell in the front here, but he couldn’t sleep through Kim, Phil, Alex and I? Hmm…

I thought of asking Tammy and Andy for their opinion for a long time, but then I thought that’d be uncool to involve them. Then I realized two things. One is that they wouldn’t get involved and two is that they’d keep my question a secret. I finally broke down and asked Tammy if it was possible for a guy cum “dryly.” Her answer was, “Not to my knowledge is it possible.”

I asked Andy on his machine.

Tammy said Lisa got the letter Tom sent her and was very pleased. For a while there I was wondering if he was really going to write and send it.

Later…

The movies I taped came out OK. I listened to some music and just made myself some coffee. Soon I’ll be conking out. My stomach’s a little better, but I still get waves of pain here and there.

I hope Andy leaves me a message tonight. I told him that if the answer to my question is no to say, “No, I don’t like whatever song by Gloria.” he’ll say “yes,” he likes it if the answer’s no.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 3, 1994

I sure wish I slept later than I did. I got up at 7:30 PM. Andy left a message saying he can’t “decide” if he likes a certain Gloria song, so that means he’s not sure.

Well, they say everyone’s different and that much is true, but I have a feeling things will never change with him. I have a feeling that if we wanted a kid right now or in the future, we won’t be able to even if I’m not sterile cuz he either can’t or won’t let go. I just wish I knew which one it was. If he can’t cum, I’d like him to find out why. If he won’t cum, I wish he’d just come out and say, “Hey, I don’t prefer to cum. All I want to do is get hard.”

At the same time, I believe he is attracted to me, I feel I’m not pleasing to him cuz I’m confused and I don’t know for sure what’s going on. Not knowing is hard, but maybe there’s a third party involved. Whether or not he’s deliberately holding back, maybe whatever’s up there has a major control on this to keep me from getting pregnant. But then again, couldn’t it just sterilize me or make sure he doesn’t cum when I’m ovulating? The more I think about it, the more questions I have and the more confused I get, so I’m just going to keep on going about my life as I have been and try not to dwell on it. If in another year to a year and a half, nothing’s changed, then perhaps I oughta talk to him about seeing what a doctor has to say about it. I don’t know, but I really think it’s me. There’s something about me as a person (not my body) that turns him off. Perhaps it’s my aggressive nature and also fear of being a father too soon. I think he does was to be a dad but in a couple of years. This is what he told me, too. I also have a feeling he may never want to be, so due to this, he’ll keep on holding back.

He can’t keep that up forever, though, so if he’s the one preventing himself from cumming, he’s going to have to deal with it with me someday, as he can’t always make excuses. I can’t always be “new” to him, so if one of my theories is correct, I hope he talks about it.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 4, 1994

Today's the day I go for my CT scan and hearing test. Hopefully, I'll find out something today, but I'll probably have to wait till the 13th. I'll write about how today's appointment went either later today or tomorrow.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 5, 1994

I went for my CT scan and hearing test yesterday. There were about 3 different things about it that I didn’t remember from Boston. First she had my head cranked way back and she took 30-40 pictures which seemed to take forever.

When I got on the thing you lay on, it was at the height of a bed. Then, when she went to adjust me for picture number two, I realized I was almost up to the ceiling when I sat up. For the second position, my neck was straight and she put some kind of string or tape across my chin to hold my head still.

Then it was off to another floor for my hearing test. My good ear has worsened a little, but the left is hopeful. There is nerve hearing.

I can’t wait till the 13th.

Later…

Yesterday, after my appointments, we went to JB’s for lunch.

When we got home, I helped Tom build a second computer. It was pretty interesting and fun.

Tom and I both spoke to Tammy who’s really in a bad way now. From the sound of it, Bill may only have a matter of months left. She’s worried about how the hell they’re going to survive and I don’t blame her. We all discussed the possibility of her coming out here, but that’s close to impossible. Especially with 3 kids.

Her visit with Mom wasn’t too great. Even Lisa got upset with her for not staying as long as she said she would. She said Lisa got embarrassed by Mom in some restaurant cuz of the way she went off on some waitress. The bottom line is what it’s always been. She hates kids and will only talk to them about 6 times a year and it’ll probably be another 3 years before both mom and dad go to see her again.

It makes me wonder again if I oughta just cut all contact with them if I ever get pregnant. No kid of mine is going to put up with them if I can help it. Yes, they’ve been wonderful over the phone now for almost a year, but that’d change if I were pregnant, so it’s something to think about should I ever find myself pregnant.

Anyway, I got up at midnight, watched a little TV, made Tom some sandwiches, and crossed off the stuff we got done. I also updated our computer calendar that keeps track of shit we gotta do.

I typed Bob a letter and now Bob, Kim, and my parents have two of those postcards left. I’ll send them over the next couple of weeks.

We’re putting aside money to go to Tammy when she really really needs me the most. That’ll be when Bill dies. Tom will go with me if he can get the time off from work and I hope to hell he can, but if not I’ll go alone.

For the hell of it and out of curiosity, I called Nervous to see if his phone and or the same number still exists with him. He has an answering machine with a prerecorded voice. I just said hi and hung up. I’m glad I discovered he’s got a machine there. God, I wish he had one when he was obsessed with me! I would’ve had sooo much fun with it.

Assuming Crystal’s still there and assuming he’d never dare allow her to hear his edits, which he probably doesn’t have, I’m going to leave a few seconds of them on his machine later. I only hope he hears them, though. I hope if I leave them and they’re both out that he doesn’t come home, get to them first and erase them. Cuz that’s just what he’d do.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 6, 1994

I used up the last of the address labels with my maiden name, so now I’m going to use the remainder of the cat labels with my married name on them. Then I’ve got lots of Adobe labels left, but they’ll only be used for mail. I’ll draw colorful lines as day separators when the cat labels run out. There are about 25 left.

Yesterday I straightened up the back room quite a bit. I even cleaned off a small area by the washer. There was a paper grocery bag with other ones in it that must’ve been there for years. I dumped those and put away some tools.

I saw a movie with Marlee Matlin in it, and Law & Order.

I typed Tammy a letter and wrote postcards to Bob, Kim and my parents. I dusted and vacuumed and did some typing. I’ve been spelling all kinds of words wrong. Like Israel. I’m learning, though (I spelled “though” as "tho" intentionally in my written journals cuz it's easier). The computer’s been very educational.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 8, 1994

Things have been great. Today, I not only typed up all my 13 songs with pretty and different fonts, but I also wrote 3 new songs. Before I copy them in, yesterday we got a wedding card from Mary & Dave with a $100 check. Today we got a card from Boo and Max with a $50 check. We have to crank out a couple more thank-you cards.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 9, 1994

Just as I was going to write, Tom came home from work with groceries and with guess what else? A humongous package of all different kinds of pens. There were highlighters and all different kinds of regular pens. Also, the perfect drawing pencils. The kind you click and the lead moves down, so you don’t have to sharpen it. I have 5 of these kinds that all write in black, but the pen turns colors as your fingers grip them. This one’s purple, but changes to pink where your fingertips are.

Later…

Tom and I had a really cool talk the other day. He assured me that everyone’s different and that if he were feeling sexually deprived and unfulfilled in any way, he’d tell me. He reminded me that things didn’t change with me for a long time at one point. Neither one of us ever thought he’d make it in there. I realize now that I shouldn’t be impatient with him and expect him to cum if he doesn’t want to. Andy says he can’t see how he can be satisfied without being able to or allowing himself to cum. Maybe most people can’t get by without cumming, but everyone’s different and again, I believe him when he tells me he’s happy. I told him I wouldn’t try to change him cuz he’s never tried to change me or expect anything of me that I couldn’t or wouldn’t do. I did comment on how it would prevent us from getting pregnant, but he said it wouldn’t. He sounded very sure of that. He’s just waiting till we’re ready for a kid, I think. That’s cool cuz right now we have two things on our minds. Getting me to hear out of both ears and going into business.

He says he’s planning on releasing our first program for sale on November 1st. The picture-printing program. By December 1st he wants to have me sing and record a song. Every Wednesday or so I fill in stuff on the computer calendar that either one of us or both of us have to do. He suggested this as I’m way more organized.

Later…

Right now Tom is napping on my bed. Luckily this bed is wide enough so I can still stretch out and have plenty of room.

Tomorrow there’s no mail cuz of Columbus Day. Or is it Memorial Day? Whatever. I’ve got letters typed up to my parents, Tammy, Kim, and I’ll do Bob’s soon. I’ll mail them out on Tues., though.

I think I’ve pretty much covered all that’s been going on. So, I guess I’ll go do some computer work right now.

Later…

Boy, Tom’s pretty entertaining to observe when he sleeps. I just walked into the room and he said about 3 words I couldn’t make out, then something that sounded like, “Talking to another.” Then, “OK.” Then, “I can handle it.” Then, “Mhm.”

Now I’m using another one of the color-changing pens. I believe there are 5 of them in all, even though they all write in black as I said before. This one goes from a regular shade of green to lime green. Sort of a yellowish-green where I’m holding the pen.

I did some journal typing, as Tom fixed the B drive. I also cooked up some creamy garlic noodles and some spaghetti.

I took the foam mattress off the waterbed cuz I’m sick of it bunching up on me. I’ll wait till I get a king-size one. I also turned the waterbed heater on. In a week or two we’ll be turning on the wall heaters. I’ll also get my little portable one out of my closet.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 10, 1994

I vacuumed and then mopped the kitchen floor. It really needed it.

I typed up a letter for Bob, as well as the song titles on my medley. The more I hear the medley, the more I don’t like it. Some songs are too long and some have chosen parts I wish I didn’t choose. I’m going to do it again sometime soon and I’ll probably redo Gloria’s medley, too.

I quickly talked to Tammy and I left Andy a message.

It’s gorgeous out today. It’s in the mid-90s and it’s supposed to be that way all week. It’s a bummer, though, cuz the pool’s ice cold.

Kim called last night and still plans to be here in November. She was psyched to hear about my ear, and has a bad cold now.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 12, 1994

God, I feel so sluggish today. Well, maybe it’s cuz I only slept about 6 hours or so. I’m a little bored, even though I’ve done stuff and have more to do.

These are some of the times when I think a kid would be nice. Last night at the mall, which I’ll get to later, made me glad I have no kid. That and how horrible Tammy and others said it was. Despite it all, though, I’ve written off both me and Tom as sterile, until and unless I see differently. I know he likes things the way they are, but maybe in a year or so I’ll suggest that he see a doctor and make sure nothing’s wrong if he really can’t cum. He might be very embarrassed about seeing a doctor, though. Hey, at least he’ll never have to deal with GYNs.

Yesterday Tom was out all day fixing Eldon’s computer. He also took his parents to the racetrack.

Yesterday his mom also fixed one of my favorite skirts that my dad got me. In 1989, Dad took me to get it at Steiger’s in Longmeadow. The waistband was messed up, but she did a wonderful job fixing it. I called her this morning and thanked her and we got to chatting for about 10 minutes or so. She’s got a great memory too, and asked if I was all psyched for tomorrow. Oh, yeah! And I got up at 8:30 today, so there’ll be no problem sleeping tonight. She said she had a doll my skirt would fit on it’s so small and to call her if I had any questions about making quilts. I also was talking to her about music and journal writing. She asked if we had a budding young author here. Nope. It’s just a hobby I do for fun and if that’s ever to change, I don’t know about it yet.

Tom wants me to go through some books to pick out some things to maybe sell called origami. You make things out of paper, like animals, flowers, castles, etc. There was the one where you do the months if you want to make a calendar. I tried October but I really need thicker paper. Something in between paper and cardboard.

Yesterday I got 2 letters from Bob. One was 6 pages, the other was 1.

Kim called last night while we were at the mall. She was bored, still sick with a cold. It was 31º there last night!

At about 6 PM last night was when we went to the mall. We made a ring payment, and he got a computer book. I got a killer deep purple shirt that’s like a T-shirt, but the shoulders are cut out. It’s quite sexy. I got an Indian-like beaded barrette and 3 chokers. They were on sale for only $3 apiece. I got a big bottle of detangler which my hair really needed, and two bottles of lotion. There’s this really neat place called Potions & Lotions where they mix up the fragrance you choose, how strong you want it and what color you want it. You can also get cheaper refills of any fragrance. I got Nilla Musk in green and Nature Scent in pink.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 13, 1994

Yes! I’m going to hear out of two ears! I’m so psyched and I have so much to write on the subject. The doctor (Dr. Nielsen) didn’t at all look like I expected. He wasn’t an older, gray-haired guy. He was of middle age. Tom made a good point saying he was old enough to have experience but young enough to have a steady hand.

The first thing he said to me was that if he had to choose from a number of people to do this surgery on, it’d be me. We haven’t gotten a date yet, but they’ll be calling soon. We think and hope it’ll be before the year’s out. Maybe even before Thanksgiving, which is on the 24th.

The CT scan looks really good and he’s going to do the skin graft under my arm. He’s almost positive I’ll be able to hear and the risks are only 3% - 5%. He’s going to go in right where the canal’s supposed to be, then find the bone and follow it till he comes across the facial nerve. That he’ll steer clear away from that, naturally.

He even told us why I was born with no ear. He says that when you’re an embryo, your ear canal forms, then closes, then reforms. Mine never reformed. The inner ear did, but not the outer ear.

The operation should only last 3 hours and I should be able to go home that day. There’s only a 10% chance that I’ll have to stay overnight. There’s a 60% chance I’ll have to have another operation in 6 months to a year. Instead of having bandages all over my head, I’ll only have like a huge cotton ball in that area.

The other reason I’m having this operation is just as important as getting hearing and that’s due to the sensitivity I’ve had. He has two theories about why it’s been so sensitive since around 1988. One’s cuz of lots of skin. Your skin on your hand, for example, sheds and regrows. Same with the inner ear, but there’s no place it can shed. He said this commonly takes years after surgery to slowly build up. His other theory is cuz of nerves being cut due to so many surgeries, they grow nodules on the ends of them, causing pain. This also takes years of slowly building up.

It’ll be here in Phoenix next to the regular doctor’s offices at Good Samaritan Hospital. No having to drive 3 hours in the snow like we would to Boston in the mid-70s. Also, no big bandages that go around most of my head where I look like a mummy. For two weeks after surgery, I’ll have to lay really low, then go back to be sure the skin graft took well and that there are no infections. Speaking of infections, he says there could be and could’ve been a low-grade infection going on for quite a while. It made us wonder about that cuz almost all my medical reports tell me I have a high white blood cell count. Surely there are plenty of smokers who don’t get all the infections I did. Especially back east. Plus, I do get dizzy, sluggish, and feverish feeling. Not a lot but enough of the time.

He will have to shave just a really tiny amount of my hair by the frame. That’s OK. They did that in Boston and it was no big deal and didn’t look funny. Not with all this long thick hair.

While I’m so flattered and honored to have Tom be so excited too, it really makes me hate the government even more. Cuz I was on Medicaid and Medicare, and if it were infected, it could’ve eventually killed me as doctors of low-income people could really care less for the most part. Dr. Nielsen said it will no doubt get worse, too.

When we came home, I called my parents who were very happy for me.

Tammy’s really pissed and depressed now, so I typed her a letter so she can read it at her own leisure. I also typed to Mom and Dad and Kim and Bob.

Tom called his mom, as well as Mary. I left Andy a message, but I haven’t heard from him for several days now, so who knows what he’s been up to? I do have more to write about, but it’s been a long day and I’m exhausted.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 14, 1994

Last night I couldn’t fall asleep till around 3 AM. I was just so psyched up cuz of yesterday. I talked to Andy today who was so happy that I was going to “see” out of two ears.

He’s just been hanging out doing his own thing. He’s been feeling bored, lonely and hopeless. Tonight we may get together and go to Camelback Mountain. This way I can help motivate him and for old traditional time’s sake, it’ll be fun. We haven’t done this since shortly after I got here in ‘92. He’ll sit outside on the trunk probably, and do an “interview,” while I’ll be in the car doing my thing.

I think I remembered to write all there is to tell about my ear surgery.

Last night Tom and I were on my bed trying out different positions when I suddenly had a weird feeling come over me. One that felt there was a chance one could get away, if you know what I mean, and get me pregnant. I don’t know why. I know the chances are possible, but I think they’d be extremely low cuz I’m a DES daughter and he doesn’t cum. So then he said, “I thought that’s what you wanted.”

Well, it is. I just didn’t think he was ready cuz it’s not ‘96, we’re going into business, I’m having surgery, and I didn’t want to push him. He said he’s always known the possibility is there, he’s not worried and I can’t control him. I wasn’t trying to control him, but now I know not to worry if I do or don’t get any weird feelings. Plus, since I’ve been here, I’ve gone from an 80% accuracy to a 5% accuracy on the so-called things I feel.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 16, 1994

Last Friday night Andy and I were out from 10 PM-midnight. Tom gave me $9 and we stopped at Circle K and got munchies. We went right to the same spot as we did in the summer of ‘92. That area and Camelback Mountain are really awesome. I saw the praying monk again in the mountain as well as the upside-down face.

At one point I said to Andy, “I wonder if one of these houses could belong to the doctor who’s going to do my ear soon?”

I hope his office calls tomorrow for an appointment.

Mary gave us a sewing machine and Marjorie’s going to help us with it.

Tomorrow I have letters to go out to Tammy, Mom and Dad, Kim and Bob. I’m sure I’ll hear from Bob tomorrow.

Yesterday we had some great sex. There’s no pain or pressure at all and I almost came. I cum almost every time he goes down there, but I have yet to cum by him in there. I’m getting closer, so now I can really see and understand where he’s “cumming” from on this issue.

Yesterday I finished typing up 15, so now I’ve got a total of 28 journals typed up. They all total 200 pages. That’s so few pages for so many journals, huh?

Later…

I took out my portable heater, and it does a good job of taking the chill out of the air. It’s cool and raining right now. Now’s the worst time in AZ for people with allergies and asthma. I’ve had a few sneezing spells, but it’s not even close to the misery I suffered back east. Soon the plants with lots of pollen will be going dormant.

I could redo my medley now, but I don’t really feel like it, so I guess I’ll go type up more of #17. That’s the one I’m currently typing. Later!

MONDAY, OCTOBER 17, 1994

Well, well, well. Life’s still full of surprises. Instead of sending me a photocopy of the article, Minnie typed it up on her computer. I didn’t even think she had a computer, but ours is nicer. She doesn’t have any fancy fonts, but that’s OK. By hand, she wrote me a letter. She has nice handwriting, too. I copied it into 75.

Tom was laughing at how she said she’d send me a picture of her at her prom as if we were old buddies. He said he hopes I write back. I did right after I read her letter and the article.

Then, she called and I told her that at first I honestly thought she was full of it. I told that to Bob too, so I’ll have to tell him how I thought wrong. She says she’s sending Kim a copy, too. She’ll appreciate that.

This evening I used old sheets, foam, etc., to make a regular size pillow for the living room. It serves two purposes. One, for it you’re lying on the couch watching the tube. The other’s for Tom to kneel on when we’re doing it on the couch.

I also made him an eyeglass case. He wears his glasses while he’s cleaning out his contacts. I used a white sheet for this, then drew on it an “I Luv U” heart as well as a teddy bear.

Got the Bob article. One thing I can say is that I felt the same way reading it as I did when I read about myself in the paper when I got in trouble in S. Deadfield. A good 95% of it was bullshit.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 18, 1994

Now to comment on Bob’s article. Well, it’s still all too hard to believe as it would be if it were about Tom, my parents, or my sister. He couldn’t bar anyone from coming or leaving anywhere. The man’s a total wimp. The only thing I buy is his allowing these girls alcohol. A troubled teen is likely to beg for that and he’s a sucker who can’t put his foot down. The porno movies are a maybe. If a girl begged to see it that saw it lying around, then yeah, I can see him giving in. As for dying his hair. He just doesn’t have so much extra money or the know-how enough to do so. Also, he’s sent regular pictures of himself all the while I’ve been here as his hair grew longer and longer and it was always gray. Too soon for him to have cut off all the dye and regrown his hair. He sent a picture from prison a few months ago with it quite long and gray.

If someone says to a person, “Get alcohol, then pay for it,” it seems to me the person could say, “No, I won’t,” and walk away. That 16 and 17-year-old girl they mentioned was Minnie, according to what she herself told me, and she was actually 18 at the time.

Lastly, it’s ridiculous to not let him own a car cuz a real rapist will try to round up his victims anyway, anyhow, and anywhere he can.

Later…

I forgot to mention one other thing I sewed together. A magazine rack for Tom when he’s in the bathroom taking a dump.

Last night I began doing something on the computer. A subject index of each journal. I was going to do this a while back but didn’t. Well, it’ll take forever, no doubt, but that’s OK. There’s no hurry.

Later…

For the sake of curiosity, I made a list of the states I’ve been to and flown over.

I’ve flown over: New Mexico, Colorado, Oklahoma, Indiana, and Kansas.

I’ve been to: Massachusetts, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Vermont, Maine, New Jersey, Mississippi, New Hampshire, New York, Maryland, W. Virginia, Tennessee, Rhode Island, Louisiana, Missouri, Ohio, Texas, Arizona, Nevada, Illinois, Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Virginia, Delaware, Kentucky, S. Carolina, N. Carolina.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 19, 1994

I wish it’d hurry up and be 8 AM! They left a message today while Tom was out with his parents at the racetrack and I was asleep, for me to call to schedule surgery. I hope to hell it’ll be real soon. I’m anxious and can’t wait to get this over with.

Tom said after surgery we’ll discuss quitting smoking, singing, and having a kid. He’s funny at times, cuz the other day I got that so-called feeling which may very well have meant nothing, he said, “Well, I thought that’s what you wanted,” yet now we have to discuss it? Well, I do understand cuz I’m like that a lot, too. I asked what there was to discuss about it and he said, “How, when, and the details.” Well, I can answer the how. If my DES or fate hasn’t sterilized me, he sticks it in there and lets himself cum.

He still feels if I was pregnant my parents would be very happy. I feel they’d be pissed and try to lecture me, but you just never know. They’ve been known to surprise me a few times in the past.

His mom gave me a quilt today. It’s just my size too, made to cover my height.

Andy and that girl Karson left a message earlier which I’ll tape for editing. I haven’t been in the mood yet to edit or redo my medley.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 20, 1994

Today’s been a very dull day. I called to schedule my surgery, but Jackie, the only one who schedules surgery wasn’t there. I have to call back tomorrow at 10:00.

I meant to say yesterday was a dull day. Especially cuz I slept through most of it.

Today I got 2 letters from Bob and 1 from Alex. I hope Kim got her copy of the article from Minnie, as I just sent mine to Bob. He asked for it cuz he hasn’t seen it. He’s going to be pretty pissed. If not, she’ll be here soon, so I’ll let her read the article I copied.

I finished filling up the pages that were available in 75 with letters, so now I’ll fill the remaining 60 pages or so in #7. After that, they’ll go in a box. It’s the box that the CD/tape/radio boom box came in that’s in the back room right by the computer.

Later…

I did a few things during the night. I did dishes, typed letters, typed more of #17, and drew a full-page picture of a lady’s face. It’s only so-so.

Tom showed me a new game called Nibbles, which I call Nipples. It’s where you drive this snake, that’s really a colored line, with the arrow keys and try to get it to eat as many numbers as possible without it crashing into the sides of the screen.

I wish it were 10:00 in the morning!

Tom mentioned us playing Cruel card game when he gets up and also us having some fun. I hear him snoring. Fine from another room, but thankfully not next to me. Yes, I wish we could sleep together, but then again, no I do not cuz it’d never work out. Perhaps someone on Navane or another heavy sleeper such as he is, but not me.

My surgery’s set for December 6th and the day before I’ll have a pre-op appointment. At first I was really bummed as

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 21, 1994

Andy called, so I’d gotten cut off in my last entry. Then I watched a little TV, fried chicken, and did dishes.

As I was saying, I was rather bummed that I couldn’t have surgery in Nov. However, Tom reassured me that this would be good cuz work will be slower for him in December, and starting this Saturday, we can lay down some tracks to record My Time Has Come, my signature song, so to speak. It’s just amazing how I’ve got someone here with whom I can combine my dreams. He’s got what I want which is the background/behind-the-scenes know-how. I got what he wants which is a way to promote his programs. All this combined gives us what we want. To do what we both love to do while earning great money. We’re hoping to have the equipment, make the master CD, make tons of copies, and distribute them by early ‘95.

He also mentioned me maybe getting pregnant in early ‘95, too. He said it’s better not to now, due to the surgery, of course, but that if I were, it wouldn’t hurt it as I’d only be in the 1st trimester. True, but I’ll definitely have my period around the 26th when I’m due for it. My boobs aren’t sore, I haven’t had any pre-cramps, but I am slightly watery. I took a water pill earlier.

It took 511 minutes to type journal 17. Wow! That’s only about 8½ hours.

Minnie called at 7:00 last night, but I was still asleep. Tom answered, but she didn’t leave a message.

Tomorrow night Andy and I may go to the mountain.

He’s pretty bummed lately, but hopeful. His ad in the Echo magazine should be out anytime now and he really wants to meet someone bad. He wishes to hell he could have someone like Tom and be like me where he doesn’t have to work or worry about food or money. Or health benefits, as he doesn’t have any.

Monday after 11 AM, I have to call Jackie to get the times I’m supposed to go for my pre-op and surgery. Also, to get a date and time for a follow-up. First she had to give me the dates the doctor was available, then check things out with the hospital. Those dates are OK with the doctor and the hospital, but now we have to get the times. She said they usually like to schedule surgery at 7 AM and have their patients arrive there at about 6 AM.

I called Tammy and let her know, then I called my parents. They weren’t home, so I left a message.

Later…

Last night I began redoing my medley. I like this one a lot better. I’m making sure I keep the songs much shorter. I don’t feel like doing any more editing now of any kind, but perhaps I’ll work on my subindex.

It’s kind of awkward to hold the book on my lap while I type in notes, and the book’s too heavy and big for the music stand. Therefore, I’ll put it against the headboard and do it here in bed where it’s more comfortable. I’ll write my notes in here which probably won’t make much sense till it’s all typed up. Actually, I’m only typing notes. I intend to write to them all in their own journal. It’d be neat to have a journal that’s an index, listing all the important topics that are in each journal. However, I may wish to look up and trace down something of non-importance, too. Well, I’ll do my best. I’m going to refer to my typed-up journals. It’s a lot easier to have a notebook (3-ring), spread out, rather than several journals.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 23, 1994

Tom got up a little while ago, and in an hour or so he’ll be off to work.

He went down on me which I really needed. I’m so horny before my period.

I made us pork chops and tater tots.

Yesterday we laid down the tracks for My Time Has Come. It’s so awesome to be able to walk up to a computer, hit a button and it’ll play the music to my song.

I also did quite a bit of work on my journal subject index (subindex). I’m up to 14 and am using book #81 for it. I’ve got 20 pages done already. Soon I’ll work more on it.

Later…

Tom’s in the shower now.

I forgot to mention another sexual first. At least I think I forgot to. We were lying in bed when he got on top of me and was able to go right in without even guiding it in.

He says sometimes he feels it’d be nice to have a kid in 9 months to 2 years from now. I sometimes feel it’d be nice to have it now, in a few years, and even never.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 24, 1994

NOTE: I identify as bisexual and Andy identifies as gay. Making private cracks about Margaret's appearance had nothing to do with homophobia.

Tom couldn’t sleep, so he just got up a little while ago.

What I went to do earlier was sort the tools. I did about an hour’s worth of sorting and rearranging. I made this week’s lunches for Tom too, and talked with Andy.

He called me up in a so-so mood, but I sure as hell got him laughing his ass off. He was telling me how he got a call from a guy who read his ad and the guy claimed to be straight looking. The second Andy saw the guy, he thought, “Yeah, right. Who the hell ever told this guy he looked straight?!”

I told him how he may have to go through shit like that for a while. Guys will say they look straight and people will give bogus phone numbers.

What really cracked him up was when I told him about that butch Margaret who came up for one night from Westerly, RI. I first talked to her through the 900#.

I told Andy not to be too nice, and to play the same game as everyone else played. Be blunt and don’t give a shit if anyone mistakes your honesty for rudeness.

So anyway, I was telling him how when I was talking to Margaret she said, “My sister’s so feminine. She’s got all kinds of makeup and perfume and jewelry on her dresser in her room. All I have on my dresser is a bottle of deodorant.”

That’s when the buzzer went off and I said, “Wait a minute, I smell butch here.”

He was totally laughing his ass off over that one.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1994

Yesterday I fell asleep at 4 PM. At 8 PM, I woke up sneezing my ass off for a few minutes. Thank God I fell back asleep till 3 AM, cuz at 10 AM we are going to Castles & Coasters to play miniature golf. I can’t wait. I love miniature golf, that place is gorgeous and we’re overdue for doing something fun.

I also laid out in the sun yesterday for a whole hour just to get no color.

Got the times of all my appointments, too. On 12/5 I forgot my pre-op appointment at 9:30 AM. On 12/6 I have the surgery at 7:30 AM, but we have to be there at 6 AM. On 12/20 I go for my post-op appointment.

Just 15 more days till Kim arrives. I’m psyched but so nervous about it. Please, God, don’t let this cause a major fight between Tom and me!

I’m doing a few loads of laundry now and soon I’m going to make calendars for ‘95 on the computer.

A couple of nights ago when I was talking to Andy, he gave me his sister Marla’s number in CA in case of an emergency. He also tells me for example, “The guy’s message I’m seeing tonight is the third message, just in case of any trouble, cuz you never know.”

For the sake of curiosity, I called Springfield Information to see if I could get Nervous’s new address. Sure enough, he’s at Avon Place. That’s on the south end/downtown line. It’s a scummy area, but slightly better than Pearl St. He and Crystal probably got a 1-bedroom apartment I’ll bet it’s $500 or more. If one of them splits, the other’s going to have a hell of a time paying all the expenses on their own.

I don’t know if I forgot to mention this, or not, but about a week ago I called and played a clip of the edits. I was intending to leave it on their machine which they do have, but she answered. She listened to the whole thing, but that was great cuz it was her that I wanted to hear it. That was her first time ever hearing the edits, I believe.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1994

We went to play miniature golf yesterday. It was lots of fun. Just as beautiful as I remembered, and it was peacefully dead. We also played some games in the arcade and Tom won me a stuffed Harley Davidson dog.

When we got home yesterday, I got a Bob letter and talked to Andy. At first he got tons of calls from guys who were mainly losers and now the calls are dwindling. Yup, that’s how it usually works.

I made 3 calendars on the computer for 1995. A copy in each bedroom and one for the back room.

Yesterday we began making a new period chart, but we ran into trouble. We’ll get it done soon, though.

Tom went over to work on David and Evie’s computer.

This morning before work we had some fun. We tried it with me on top again. That’s getting so much easier now too, and I require less and less lubrication. It’s been a while now since I’ve felt sexually deprived and I don’t miss that at all. It’s a good feeling to feel sexually fulfilled.

I was due today for my period, but it looks like this month I’ll be a day late like last month. I can feel it coming on. Well, sort of. My pre-cramps aren’t that bad at all, but the way my boobs feel is another thing. Those don’t feel too bad either, but I’ll be waking up with it tomorrow.

I typed letters to Tammy and my parents and now I’m going to go eat, then maybe work some more on my subindex.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1994

Happy 7th year anniversary to these journals!

This is day two of being late with my period. I called Tammy and told her how I felt like I was going to get it and she said she felt like she was going to get her period too, before she got pregnant. I told her I didn’t want to jump the gun, but that if I did ever find out I was pregnant for sure, I wouldn’t tell Mom and Dad. She said that’d be stupid and that I didn’t have to take any shit from them if they gave us any. Of course, we wouldn’t. She suggested I get an over-the-counter pregnancy test which you can use as soon as you’re only 1 day late. She said she had bad morning sickness with Lisa and it was mild with Becky and Sarah. I forgot the name of it, but she said she has something that numbed her downstairs and they made an incision. Yeah, I’ve heard of that. She didn’t have the shot they give you in the spine. She said it hurts but is worth it.

Again I reminded her that he doesn’t cum and asked her if the chances of me getting pregnant were close to none. She said no. Even though my periods have been normal for quite some time, my body’s entitled to some imperfection, so I may not be. If I am, then that’s just truly amazing for it to be that easy to conceive without the guy cumming. Especially being a DES daughter and thank fucking God I didn’t get pregnant those few other times when guys came. If I am, I believe Tom when he says he’d be as happy as I’d be, but I still have my usual fears and a million questions. Will I have a miscarriage or die having it, if I can have it naturally? Will it ruin what Tom and I have? Can we really afford it? How will my parents react? Will I truly be able to be a good mother and deal with it? Will I be forever fat and a major turn-off to Tom? He’s always been there and true to his word when he said he’d be a good husband. I know he’d be a good father, but what if deep down inside he doesn’t want to have a kid, even though he says he does? What if he’s wrong about saying it won’t ruin us, I can handle it, I won’t turn him off, I will survive it and I won’t be forever fat?

Well, this is only my second day of missing my period, so we’ll wait and see. Thankfully, Tammy was encouraging. She didn’t say shit like, “Why now? Are you sure you want this and are prepared to handle it? What about your surgery?”

Tom says surgery should be no problem in the 1st trimester, but if I have to postpone it, I will. I’ve already been like this for 29 years. If I am pregnant, I will surely want to keep it. It’d be hard to consider abortion even if Tom got on his knees and begged me to, but I know he’d never do that. He’s never fooled me yet, but I know some people can suddenly fool you. I hope he’s happy if I am, though I still have a feeling a kid was never meant to be.

Last night I told Tom I was excited, yet nervous about Kim’s visit and he said he could understand that. Should I cancel her from coming here if I am, so we don’t end up in a fight where he wants to leave me?

Later…

No, I am not pregnant. I just had some spotting. Tammy said she didn’t have that and doesn’t know if it’s possible. Well, like I said, it’s possible for someone to get pregnant if the guy doesn’t cum, but I think it’s very unlikely. Plus, we don’t qualify to be parents. We’re not druggies or assholes. The ironic thing if it was, though, when I was wondering was what Bob said in his letter. He said, “It won’t be long now, will it? Do I know something you don’t? Maybe I do. Who knows?”

I have only a few more pages to type up of Journal #18, but my disk might be screwed up. Tom said not to worry and that all he’d have to do is give me a new disk. Meanwhile, I typed up some tips for him on Windows & DOS from a magazine he wanted to be typed up.

When I read back on Maliheh, I couldn’t believe how vague and shitty a writer I was. I failed to write how she asked me to dance with her the second we met, and she shook my hand. And also, how she kissed me as I was leaving.

Later…

Well, I just got to see another 18-year-old violent, doped-up pregnant girl on a talk show. Now I’ll go continue with Tom’s tip list. I also made up what we call a master copy grocery list.

Got a letter from Kim and typed a reply back. Out of those 50 tips, I have 15 done. Later or tomorrow I’ll type to Bob.

I still have a spot here and there, so I’m 100% sure that tomorrow I’ll have my period full force.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28, 1994

Today my period hit full blast. I think it was the water pills that delayed it those couple of days.

Last night Tom set the computer to capitalize the first letter of each sentence. This makes it quicker and easier to use different fonts. He still needs to set it to cap after a question mark and an exclamation mark, and the beginnings of paragraphs. This way all I have to cap are the i’s and names of people and places. When I go to use the spell check, it corrects i’m into I’m and i’ll into I’ll and stuff like that. He says there’s a way to set the paragraphs. I’ll have to have him show me that and also how to print out envelopes.

Got a Bob letter today and now I’m going to go see if I can get ahold of Kim.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 30, 1994

Yesterday we went out and I got Gloria’s oldies CD. Most of the songs on it I never really liked, but her singing was good and the picture of her on the cover’s nice. Her hair’s growing out again and it’s straighter. I’ve heard all the songs that are on it. I mean, I at least knew of all the songs. There are a couple of upbeat disco ones that I like. Tom likes most of the ones I don’t.

I finished Tom’s 50 tips in Windows & DOS, saved it and printed it out. He oughta be quite happy with it.

Last night I tried to print pictures with the new color ribbon and there’s a problem with the 8” and up pictures. I also learned how to change ribbons. When you stick a color ribbon in the printer, you have to tell the printer there’s a color ribbon in it. All you do is hit two buttons. One says “install” and the other says “color ribbon.”

Hang on and let me go get a smoke. Then, I’ll tell you about Andy and our (Tom & I) talk to my parents.

Later…

Back again. I stopped also to sew the strap on my red lace and chiffon and satin nightie. Also, a white lace pair of panties. Very hard to sew.

Gosh, my handwriting’s a nightmare today.

Anyway, Andy quit Denny’s. He just got fed up with his bitch manager named Linda. So fed up, that this was the first time he quit a job before finding another. Later, I’ll call him to see if he found another one. He was going through today’s paper when we talked earlier.

Yesterday my parents called and Tom answered. My mom started off by saying, “Hi Tom. Do you know who this is?”

Tom guessed Andy and could only pick up on the definite Eastern accent and Ma said something like, “I hope not.”

Tom explained how Andy sometimes disguises his voice. After, Tom said he hoped no one was offended but I’m sure she was cracking up over it.

So they talked about Tom’s job and the main reason they were calling was cuz I said in my letter that I may not be able to call them on the day of my surgery. I guess I forgot to say that Tom will call for me if I can’t. Tom’s going to call them from the hospital during surgery. I had thought one of us would call from here after surgery, but that’s cool.

When Mom asked me if I was learning to cook, Tom jokingly said I was learning how to watch him. Then I told her how I always make his lunch for work and we take turns cooking here. She knows we mainly do microwave stuff and don’t cook every day. Then Ma said Dad doesn’t like her to cook for him every day and I said that’s cuz she burns everything. Dad agreed. Dad said Gloria was there cooking and that she was a lousy cook.

Later…

I just talked to Tammy who wants me to ask Tom if we can copy any games and put Windows on her computer somehow.

Tom’s home now and we’re going to play around in a few. He got our other monitor back from Eldon and soon I’ll have a computer in my room. He really loved how I typed up those tips. They’re fancy, yet very professional looking.

I made him this week’s lunch sandwiches and stuck them in the freezer.

We’re going to send Tammy and Bill and the girls’ computer games, but first I’ll have to call Tammy to see what kind of processor, monitor, etc. she has.

I still haven’t called Andy, but I will later. I still have to tell him how Tom thought mom was him.

This Wednesday we’re going to the Arizona state fair. Can’t wait. The day before he’s going to go to the racetrack to hopefully win money so we’ll have more to take to the fair with us.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 31, 1994

So far we’ve had 3 trick or treaters. I’ve been giving them Reese’s and Milky Ways.

Larry called a little while ago and we had a nice chat. I even talked to Sandy. They’re both happy I’m happy.

He’s no longer driving so he can spend more time with the family. He’s driving a gasoline truck locally. He said one of these days they’ll all get out here, Sandy’s never been here and that when we come to visit we can stay with them. He says he misses his little sister.

We each told each other a joke and when I asked what Larry and Jenny were dressing up as he said “assholes.” Then he told me she was a cat. They’ve had over 150 kids. Wow!

I brought up the pie incident that happened years ago where Larry dropped a whole pie all over the living room carpet. Sandy wasn’t too happy, but Larry, the kids, and I were cracking up. He said they were just talking about that a few days ago.

Now that he’ll be home, I wonder if he’ll go see Tammy.

Andy went to 6 restaurants today but had no luck so far. He has another interview tonight at 8:00, so hopefully, he’ll luck out.

After I fill up tons of no-postage-necessary envelopes, I’ll give them to him to mail out since we live in a house and they can be easily traced to us.

I did a hell of a lot around the house today. I vacuumed, dusted, rearranged, cleaned the kitchen, worked out, and am really making a point to smoke outside.

When Tom came home we made dinner. He barbecued steak and I fried hash browns.

Tomorrow I might go to the racetrack with him and his parents.

I learned a few new things on the computer, but I’ll explain it later. Now that we got the other monitor back from Eldon, he’s going to put together that second computer.

I just wrote down some questions to ask Tammy so we can send games. Tomorrow I’ll mail out Bill’s birthday card so he’ll have it by the 8th.

Later…

Well, we’ve had way more than 4 trick or treaters now. More like 20-30. We only have 9 candy bars left, so after 1 more ring of the doorbell, I’ll shut the light off, hook the screen, and whatever’s left over will be ours.

I’m recording a movie right now and sitting in the living room so I can hear the door. I just hooked the screen and turned the outside light off, speaking of it, as 3 more kids came. We’ve got 6 candy bars left for us and we turned the living room and kitchen lights off, as Tom’s in the back room and I’m in my room. Even though my room is at the front of the house, they’ll never notice it as I’ve got those soundproofing things up along with tin foil behind it.

I don’t know if I’ll be continuing on with my subindex in #81. Maybe I’ll work on that later.

Tom showed me how to search for certain words in a document. When doing my journals, I can cap anything after a question mark or an exclamation mark but not the first letter of a word that begins a paragraph. However, if they’re names I use, I don’t need to bother to cap it cuz I’m going to cap all the names afterward anyhow. That’s another thing I learned. I can take all the Tammys or Andys and cap them all. The only other thing I don’t need to cap that begin paragraphs are words like, I’ll, I’m, I’d, cuz the spell check will tell me to cap those anyway.

Later…

There are still some trick-or-treaters out as I can hear dogs. The blessing of it is, though, that they’re off in the distance. Inside the house it’s quiet, the dog next door’s not out and there are no dogs across the street right in front of us.

I’m still debating on whether or not to do the rest of the subindex. It’d be nice to have but not worth the pain of doing it. Anyway, I’ve got through the rest of this book and the next to decide if I want to continue it. I highly doubt I will, though. I’ll at least have the worst parts of my life done in the subindex. All the Springfield, S. Deerfield and Norwich books. In other words, all the MA and CT books.

I also hooked up an old phone of mine that I believe I had on Oswego St. The living room speakerphone had a dual-jack connector, so I hooked it up so there are two phones in the living room till Tom goes into the attic and runs the phone, audio and video wires. This way we can both talk to my parents, Tammy, Andy or whoever.

I jokingly asked Tom if he thought Larry was Andy and he said he thought it was Fran for a second. Yeah, I can see how he might have thought Larry was Fran. They both have deep voices.

There sure are a lot of helicopters out there. One was shining its light down, so they could’ve been looking for someone.

0 notes

conceptsformyowner · 3 years ago

Text

PTJ5: Overdue punishment, breathless orgasm, and 40 hours of bondage.

Public Toy Journal 5 - 2022 07 81

Welcome! Today I tell you about how this week I was punished for disrespecting my Owner using hot sauce, I tell you some things about my new normality, and then about spending 40 hours chained to a toilet. Enjoy!

Sunday

Over the last few months, the months I've been their property, I've disrespected them 4 times. Which is to say, in Spanish i used the common singular second person forms instead of the formal and respectful ones. For this, we'd come to an agreement on a punishment. My mouth would be thoroughly washed with soap and would be left with it inside with no spitting for as many minutes as times I’d disrespected them.

However, in the time it took me to research all the info on safety and proper techniques, they got excited about an alternative punishment.

On Sunday, my Owner ordered me to go to the kitchen and kneel at the door after I finished bathing. I dried up, walked over and knelt there.

“Tongue out.”

I obeyed, opened my mouth and put my tongue out. They were making dinner, but they were also preparing something else.

In a small bowl, they poured a bunch of hot sauce, added some “ground chili” *(I'll trust google translate :s)* and started mixing it.

I knelt there, naked, tongue out, staying still while they finished mixing it up and walked over. They stood over me and placed a spoonful of the stuff on my tongue.

“Don’t move. You’re going to stay like that.” they said and walked away to continue cooking.

At first it didn't feel like much, I was already starting to suffer from just keeping my mouth like that and kneeling. Then slowly I started feeling it. It's weird, spicyness usually gets you by filling your mouth with pain, but concentrated spicyness like this is not something I've felt before. It hurt, but the worst psrt was how my body was automatically responding to it. I had started drooling a bit before, but now my body sensed my tongue was in danger and just opened all the valves. I couldnt stop, it was incredibly humilliating and disgusting. They didnt take long to give me a bowl to drool in when the cup I was making with my hands started overflowing.

It got so bad parts of it were actually making the big pile of spicy mush slide down. Chunk by chunk.

They stood there and laughed, genuinely finding it hilarious. Im fucking glad, lol

When most of the mush had slipped down, my jaw aching, they ordered me to stand up and go spit and rinse.

Quickly i went and did so, took a long damn time. They also made me clean the bowl and the part of the floor I'd drooled on.

Having learnt my lesson, I sighed and they hugged me.

“Alright, that was fun wasn't it? That was just part of it, can't wait to wash your mouth later.”

Monday

I am now spending the weekdays on a desk, logged on to a call 9am till 6pm. To show they were still in control, they started making me chain my waist to the chair just before logging on, leaving the key out of reach so that only they could release me once I was done.

They bring me food and occasionally give me tasks which i perform by walking with a chair stuck to my butt.

Wednesday

At one point, I'd said that I loved when they covered my mouth with their hand. Handgagging me while we watch stuff or just lie down.

On wednesday, they started doing that but with a twist.

They cover my mouth and my nose, blocking all airflow and slowly, patiently inform me, while I can't breathe:

“If you ever want to breathe again, cum. You can touch yourself now.”

I have. NEVER. Been so desperate and fast at that. It left me completely destroyed and unable to do anything. Fucking hard to enjoy that.

Thursday

On thursday, they passed a chain through my anklecuffs, my wristcuffs, and then my collar, forming one big loop. It's very hard to do pretty much anything, but i can still do most things. Im just more helpless, submissive, suffering, and vulnerable. I absolutely love it. Id love to spend every day like that.

For lunch, they unthreaded the chain from the collar, fearing that i would break the chair while trying to eat.

That night, I spent some time between their thighs, just suffering there, suffocating, choking, horny as fuck, in the dark, with them just outside the covers using their phone, not really acknowledging me. I love it so much, I wish they’d keep me there and use my face whenever they got bored. I wish I could sleep there.

Friday

Friday night, they gave me a couple blankets then chained my neck to their toilet. They tucked me in, on the small bathroom floor, protected from the cold by a couple of sheets, pressed between the wall and the toilet seat, they turned off the light, got to their bedroom and closed the door.

They slept really well. I didn't quite. Got unused to sleeping on the floor, should fix that.

Before they chained me up, I’d written a tumblr post for them to publish when they’d done it. They added a little paragraph and ugh, I love it so much. I'd love for them to add a little something to my posts here or there or maybe someday even make some themselves.

Saturday

Saturday morning, bored out of my mind, no entertainment other than just inspecting my surroundings, I decided I was very glad they changed their mind and decided not to keep me hooded the first 30 of our planned 50 hours of bathroom chaining.

I saw their bedroom door open. I was so excited I could pee myself, hadnt I relieved myself earlier, that's the whole reason they chained me up there, after all.

Half asleep, they kicked me lightly to indicate I should move over and let them use the toilet.

I did and they told me they slept well and asked me how I was doing. I was alright, a couple spots in my body weren't super happy, including my brain from the understimulation.

They chuckled and went back to bed.

Later that day they released me so I could take my daily cold shower, and they allowed me to have lunch with them on their bed. Shortly after though, I was back in the bathroom, the keys to my release kept meters away from me.

They gave me my notepad and a pen. I was now to write my CNC List. A list of 100 ways to use their toy with no care for the toy's possible whines complaints or shows of resistance, with a safeword emboldened and visible at the beginning. The idea is that we'll later sit down and go one item at a time, I’d explain exactly what I mean by it, write a small description, and they'll decide wether that item is something only they can do to me, wether its something people they share me with (for whom we need a better title, PLEASE) can do to me, or whether it's something anyone can do to me.

100 things. Throughout the day I wrote 89. Damn it's hard once i got past number 40.

Just as a curiosity, I asked them to quickly tell which ones they thought anyone could do to me (without warning or care for complaints, as stated), and they suddenly listed MOST OF THEM. Fucking scary. Jeez. I'm so screwed, fuck.

At one point they shared a video of my predicament with @@musingsformyowner, who I believe probably appreciated it a lot hsha.

This night, they gave me a pillow. Thank you.

Sunday

At 13hs on sunday, after what I think was about 40 hours since we started the session, we ended it for unrelated life-stuff reasons. we cuddled in bed and watched some show while they told me how proud they were of their toy.

From the whole experience, I take the following:

- Never underestimate the importance of a tiny pillow if I'm not used to sleeping face up.

- We can't do it there because it's annoying for my owner to have to move me every time they want to use the bathroom.

- Boredom makes me feel like a stored away object and makes me super happy when I'm then used and put back, I wish I could live just like that.

- Adding a rule that whenever I feel a bit physically free I had to tell them to add restraints was the best/worst rule we could've ever added. On Saturday it happened and they closely joined my neck to my feet, making me struggle to not choke. Fucking awful. Fucking amazing.

- Listing the ways i can be used is really hot, damn.

- I think i like being filmed/photographed while I'm helplessly bound or stored away. New kink unlocked, damn it.

#text #journal

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starshine583 · 5 years ago

Text

New Girl on the Block (8)

(Thank you all so much for your love and support during this fic! I hope that you all enjoy this next chapter and be sure to check out the mini series connected to this called Journal Entries!)

Ch.1 / Ch.7 / Ch.9

Chapter 8: Lost and Found

Lost.

Felix was utterly and hopelessly lost.

He stalked the aquarium aisles, looking this way and that for the rest of the group. How did this even happen? Allegra had had an iron grip on his wrist. He was certain of that. Yet somehow, he runs into one person- one person! -and just like that, everyone’s gone!

Felix tisked, annoyance quickly rising in his mind as he turned down another aisle. Briefly separating wouldn’t have been that bad. In fact, he welcomed the moment of silence at first. Aside from the occasional person who bumped into him, no one was yanking on his wrist or dragging him along. The problem arose, however, in the realization that he’d been aimlessly searching for them for thirty minutes now. After losing sight of them for a second! Did they truly walk that fast or did they leave him on purpose? It wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened.

His hands clenched into fists, and a scowl tugged at the corner of his lips. He was this close to climbing on top of heads-

A light giggle caught his attention, faint but there, coming from the southern side of the room.

Felix whirled around, his eyes darting through the crowd. He recognized that laugh, but where was she?

His gaze landed on a pair of pigtails a moment later, and he nearly sighed with relief. Even with the dimmed lights of the aquarium, he could make out Marinette’s small figure standing in front of a smaller aquarium not far from him. He didn’t see anyone else with her, though. Where were the others? Did she get lost too or were the other people blocking them?

Felix moved forward to approach her. With the trio or not, he’d finally found someone from the group. That was his main concern. Besides, she didn’t seem worried about being alone, unless cooing at the glass and laughing was a sign of nervousness. (which, for her, it wasn’t.)

“You look like you’re enjoying yourself.” He commented as he stopped next to her.

Marinette jumped, as usual, and let out a squeak of surprise.

“Oh, Felix!” She gasped. “We were looking for you earlier.”

Felix hummed, glancing down at the octopus that was crawling along the rocks in front of them. “Yes, it would seem that ‘keeping up with the group’ wasn’t as easy as Allegra had claimed.”

A nervous chuckle tumbled from her lips, and she tucked a strand of hair behind her as she said, “Yeah.. we thought about texting you, but Claude said that you would catch up eventually.”

Felix scoffed. He should have known that Claude would be the one to prolong his suffering. Looking around for the brunette once more, he noticed that they were indeed alone. (Save for the large crowd swarming around them, that is.)

“How did you get separated?” He asked, merely curious. The group’s left him several times, but he doubted they would abandon Marinette so easily. Something else must have happened.

“Well, I was originally trying to look for you,” she explained, “but then I ended up getting distracted..”

She snorted. “I swear I stopped to look at one turtle, and by the time I turned around, everyone was gone.”

Felix offered a nod. He knew all too well how that went.

“At least we found each other.” He pointed out.

Marinette smiled up at him. “Yeah! And I found this adorable octopus!”

The way she said ‘adorable’ was similar to the babying tone of someone who was speaking to a dog, and she turned to the tank to wiggle her finger at the creature. Felix thought it to be somewhat.. endearing.

“.. Did you know that an octopus has three hearts?” He asked, strangely wanting to encourage her enthusiasm. Normally, when Claude would start rambling or bouncing around about different subjects, it would annoy Felix. With Marinette, though, that.. simply didn’t happen. Perhaps it was because she was quieter about it?

Marinette gasped, her sparkling eyes shifting back to him. “Wait, are you serious?”

Felix nodded. “They also contain blue blood.”

Her jaw dropped open. “No way! How do you know that?”

“I’ve read a few encyclopedias.” He admitted with a half-shrug. “They’re a lot more interesting than people give them credit for.”

“That’s so cool!” Marinette nearly squealed. “Tell me another one.”

Felix stared at her for a moment. That might be the first time someone’s ever willingly asked for him to recite facts without a sarcastic tone. He didn’t think he would be this pleased about it.

“Well..” He began, mentally sifting through the pages of books that he’s read. “Their limbs are actually called ‘arms’, not ‘tentacles’. The term ‘tentacles’ is reserved for squid, cuttlefish, and nautilus.”

“What?” Marinette blanched. “No! My whole life is a lie!”

Felix smirked at her dramatic groan. It had been surprising for himself when he first read it too.

“Tell me another one.” She said after rubbing her hands over her face.

Felix let out a small laugh. “Are you sure? You didn’t seem to like that last one.”

Marinette waved off the comment. “Yeah, yeah. I can take it. Tell me another one.”

“Alright, another fact..” Felix muttered, his gaze flicking upwards in thought. “Ah. Each arm has a mind of its own. Some two-thirds of the octopus’ neurons reside in its arms, which allow the arms to react to stimuli and function at a fairly high level on their own. This fact applies even when one of the limbs is severed from the body.”

Marinette scrunched up her nose at the image of a severed, octopus limb still twisting about.

“How do you remember all of this stuff?”

Felix clicked his tongue. “I think the information is interesting, and I enjoy being knowledgeable. So I make it a point to remember everything that I can while reading.”

Marinette nodded thoughtfully. “That makes sense.. Do you know facts about other animals here?”

Felix tilted his head back and forth, trying to recall the animals he’d passed while searching for the group. “Most likely. As I said before, I’ve read a handful of encyclopedias, along with a book or two on Marine Biology.”

She lit up with a grin at the reply and reached down to grab his wrist. “Great! That means you can come tell me more facts!”

Felix was pulled forward, and a part of him held his breath, waiting for the indignation and disgust to set in from being grabbed. It always happened. Allegra, Claude, and occasionally Allan would jerk him around, and resentment would kick in without fail. Of course, the irritation towards Marinette certainly wouldn’t last, since she’d simply gotten excited, but it would undoubtedly come. So he waited..

..And waited..

..And nothing came.

Felix looked down at her hand, which was still firmly on his wrist, and frowned. She was dragging him through the crowd, yet he felt.. nothing. It wasn’t necessarily good, but it wasn’t bad either. He was just.. normal.

How odd.

“Which animal should we go to next?” Marinette inquired, eagerly looking around. “I’ve already seen the jellyfish, the octopus, and some of the bigger tanks with the multiple types of fish.. Maybe we can see the big tank again so you can tell the na-”

He didn’t look up at her until her ramble abruptly cut off. She was staring down at his wrist too, her eyes wide with surprise. She must not have thought about what she was doing when she grabbed him.

“O-Oh!” As soon as she registered what she’d done, Marinette ripped her hand away from him. “I-I’m so sorry! I- uhm -I was just so excited, a-and.. I’ll try not to grab you again.”

“No, it’s..” Felix rubbed the part of his wrist that Marinette had grabbed, almost not believing the next words he was about to say. “It’s fine. We should probably be holding onto each other anyway, unless we want to get separated again.”

“Oh..” Marinette said, sounding a bit dazed. “Oh yeah.. Um.. How do you want me to..”

She held her hand out towards him again, and Felix hesitated. If they were to hold onto each other, holding hands would be the obvious option, but that was out of the question on account of the strange feeling that twisted inside him at the thought of doing such a thing. The next option would be holding onto his sleeve, or grabbing his wrist again. Would that be peculiar for her, though? He’s unsure as to why it would be peculiar, but it felt peculiar.

Before he could decide what to do, Marinette tentatively took hold of his bag strap.

“I-Is this okay?” She asked, searching his face for discomfort or disagreement.

Felix blinked. That was actually..

“This is perfect.” He said, grabbing the part of the bag strap that was just above her hand.

A relieved smile passed her lips. “Good. Let’s keep walking then. I wanna learn as many facts as possible before we leave.”

The two set off, weaving around people and going from tank to tank. At each new animal they passed, Marinette would request a series of facts, and Felix would oblige when he could. Then, when he couldn’t recall any facts, they would look up a few for the sake of fun. He had a decent time doing it, as he got to learn some new things about the animals and himself. For example, the electric discharge of an eel can be stronger than five hundred volts, sea turtles apparently think jellyfish are delicious, and when Felix’s hand finally slid onto Marinette’s on the bag strap, he didn’t mind at all. In fact, he didn’t even notice that his hand was on hers until she jumped ahead to look at the shark tank.

“Wow..” Marinette breathed, staring at the enormous whale shark that was gliding through the water in front of them. “Look at how big it is..”

Although slightly distracted by the fact that they’d been touching and he hadn’t noticed, Felix joined her at the tank and watched the shark as well. With its large body and narrow tale, its movements were slow and graceful, and seeing it brought a soothing sense of calm to him.

He glanced down at Marinette, curious how she might react to the gigantic creature.

Despite buzzing about while looking at the other animals, she stood entirely still as she stared upwards through the glass. One of her hands was delicately placed on the tank, and her lips were parted with awe. She appeared to be mesmerized by the sight.

The mix of water and the lights above brought a bright, blue glow to the room, and it reflected on her perfectly. Accenting her round cheeks and wide eyes, bringing out the deep blue color of her hair that was often hidden.. the illumination made her seem utterly.. ethereal.

Felix sucked in a small breath, shocked by the swirl of warmth and enchantment that swelled within him. Why was he feeling this way? He didn’t recall experiencing it before. Was it something about the aquarium? Or was it something about Marinette? Why would she make such a difference, though?

“I know you enjoy her company.”

His mother’s words hit him like a truck as they resurfaced in his mind. Enjoying her company.. Was that what this was? He didn’t think something like that would be ‘warm’ or ‘enchanting’, but he supposed he’s never fully enjoyed someone’s presence before to know. Claude and the others- even his parents on rare occasions -would annoy or pester or drain his energy. Marinette, somehow, never did that. Maybe it was because she always listened to him, or because she would offer a smile or clothes or croissants- whatever he might need without ever asking for anything in return. She was selfless and didn’t demand his attention like everyone else, and that, Felix realized, made all the difference.

“Know any facts about this one?” Marinette said, shaking him from his thoughts.

“Hm?” Felix dragged his eyes back to the whale shark. “Oh, yes. If I remember correctly, they-”

“There you are!”

Claude’s declaration barely registered in Felix’s mind before he was suddenly tackled by the brunette.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

Felix scowled as he wrestled Claude off of him. There’s the feeling of revulsion that he remembered so well.

“Oh, and you found Marinette!” Allegra chimed in with a smile.

Marinette pulled a sheepish expression. “Sorry for walking off.. I got distracted.”

Allan waved off the remark as he joined them. “Don’t sweat it. This trip was meant to be fun. As long as you had a good time, everything’s fine.”

Marinette smiled. “Thanks. I had a great time.”

“Aw~.” Claude jokingly sang. “That’s good to hear. What about you, Felix? Did you have a good time?”

Felix rolled his eyes at the babying tone, but a chuckle brought his gaze back to Marinette. She was shaking her head at Claude, her eyes bright with amusement and her smile warm.

“Actually..” He muttered. “I did.”

~~~~~~

The icy cold of the evening brushed over Marinette as she walked outside, but she smiled anyway. The aquarium had been more amazing than she could have ever predicted, which was saying something considering she’d already expected it to be great. She got to see turtles and whale sharks and octopi and all sorts of animals! On top of that, she got to see all of those animals with Felix, who was able to tell her little facts about them! Although some of the facts were hard to swallow.. like, who calls octopus limbs ‘arms’ instead of ‘tentacles’? That’s crazy!

Marinette chuckled at the memory as she nuzzled her nose into her white scarf for warmth. Yes, some of the facts were definitely mind boggling, but there was no doubt that they were the best part of the trip.

Well.. She thought, glancing over her shoulder. Maybe not the best part.

The rest of the group was exiting the aquarium behind her, Felix being amongst them. The best part of the day had honestly been when he said that he had a good time. With all the scowling and his getting lost, she’d been kicking herself about inviting him to the aquarium, especially when she knew that crowds weren’t his forte. But then they went on that impromptu tour together, and his hard expressions softened into small smiles and quiet laughs.

It was the first time she saw him fully relax (in a crowded room, no less!). Just knowing that she’d been a part of that brought her more joy and fulfillment than the whale shark she’d originally wanted to see.

Of course, now that the tour was over and the group was back together, the hard expressions had returned, and he was currently chewing out Claude for trying to hug him “in the name of warmth”. Marinette couldn’t help giggling at the sight, though. Even as Felix was clutching his coat around himself and shivering, he refused to be touched by anyone. She vaguely wondered if he was against the notion for a specific reason or simply had an aversion to touch. He didn’t seem to mind them touching in the aquarium, though, so there had to be a specific reason then, right?

“I don’t know about you guys,” Allegra spoke up, taking Marinette from her thoughts, “but I had a wonderful time today.”

“Are you kidding?” Claude asked, finally stepping away from Felix with a smile. “Today was awesome! And that mermaid show? Incredible.”

“And completely generic.” Felix added with an eye roll. “They didn’t even bother to make it look as though she were breathing underwater.”

“Well, yeah.” Allegra smirked. “They can’t get real mermaids. Those are too hard to catch.”

“That’s because they don’t exist.” Felix stated flatly. “Which is another reason why they shouldn’t hold that show. It will give people the wrong idea.”

“Hey, mermaids could exist!” Claude- because if anyone were to fight for this, it would be him -insisted. “The ocean is huge, and we haven’t seen it all yet. You have no idea whether mermaids actually exist or not.”

Felix scoffed. “Please. A creature with a human half and a fish half that also lived in the ocean would be scientifically impossible. At the very least, the human side would perish from the low temperatures and prolonged exposure to salt water. The only way it might survive is if the creature simply had a humanoid half rather than a human half, and in that case, the creature wouldn’t look anything like the actor they had inside.”

“Who said anything about science?” Claude argued. “What if it’s magic?”

Marinette had been watching the conversation with an amused smile until the topic of magic came up. She knew it wasn’t a direct mention to her alter ego, but it still caused her stiffen. Thankfully, no one noticed, since they were too busy watching Felix raise a brow.

“That’s preposterous.”

“How come?” Claude retorted. “If we can have Ladybug and Chat Noir running around with their magical weapons and abilities, why can’t we have mermaids?”

Marinette faltered in her steps, but quickly regained balance. Now that was a direct mention of her alter ego. Should she try to change the subject? It definitely felt like it was time to change the subject.

“Chat Noir and Ladybug gain their powers from the miraculous specifically.” Felix stated. “What you are suggesting is an entire species that is born and raised with the same ‘power’ that doesn’t come from a miraculous. That’s what I’d call grasping at straws.”

“You guys know the show is supposed to be for kids, right?” Allan asked, gaining a snort from Allegra.

Claude placed his hands on his hips. “Yes, but I still think mermaids can exist somewhere.”

“No, they can’t.” Felix remarked.

“You don’t have any proof of that!”

“Neither do you!”

“Okay!” Allegra interjected, stepping between the two boys with a barely contained snicker. “You two kids need to behave or you’ll both be put in time out.”

Marinette laughed despite herself, even as Felix glared at the blonde.

Allegra ignored the glare, turning back to the group as she asked, “So where do you guys want to eat for supper?”

“We’re eating supper together?” Marinette inquired.

“Only if you want to.” Allegra smiled. “I just figured, since it’s seven o’clock, that our parents have already eaten. So we might as well eat together, right?”

“Yeah!” Claude agreed, the mermaid discussion slipping from his mind before Marinette’s very eyes. “Let’s go to Dairy Queen. I haven’t been there in a while, and an ice cream sounds so good right now.”

“You want to get ice cream?” Felix blanched. “In this weather?”

“Sure.” Claude smiled. “Anytime’s ice cream time for me. Besides, it’s not that cold.”

“Not that cold??” Felix retorted, his eyebrows furrowing in disbelief.

Marinette chuckled, silently agreeing with Felix. Ice cream was nice when you weren’t already covered in goosebumps due to the cold, but right now, she’d much rather a nice, steaming cup of hot chocolate.

A gasp brought her attention to Allegra, who pointed towards the sky with wide eyes.

“Guys, look!” She grinned. “It’s snowing!”

The group followed her gaze to the Eiffel Tower, which stood bright and tall in the blackness of the night.

Sure enough, flakes of freshly fallen snow were passing the lights of the city and fluttering to the ground. It started out small, with a bit of snow here and there, but soon, a whole flurry began, quickly covering the sidewalks and roads.

“Aw, yeah!” Claude cheered, sticking out his tongue to catch some of the snowflakes. “Freshly fallen snow, man!”

Marinette giggled and stuck out her tongue as well, feeling a wave of euphoria as the snowflakes began hitting her tongue, nose, forehead and cheeks. It hasn’t snowed since last month, and she’d missed it dearly.

“C’mon, Fehix!” Allan urged, his words coming out in blabs because of his tongue sticking out. “Catch snowfakes wis us”

“Absolutely not.” Felix sharply declined. “Do you know how many pollutants are in the first wave of snow, especially with all of this wind? Sulfate, Nitrate, Formaldehyde, Mercury- you might as well drink a bucket of chemicals!”

Marinette paused, though she left her tongue sticking out. Were there really that many chemicals in snow? She’d known there were some, of course, but it couldn’t really be that dangerous, could it?

“Wow, Felix.” Allegra said with an amused smile. “I didn’t know snow could be so dangerous. Can you lighten up a little, please?”

Felix tisked. “I’m only stating facts.”

“Right, right.” Allegra replied. “You don’t have to stick out your tongue, but at least spare us on the ‘grim’ details, will you? It kind of dampers the whole ‘first snowfall of the year’ deal.”

Felix rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything else. Instead, he tilted his head towards the sky and closed his eyes. Marinette imagined he was trying to gather some semblance of calm or composure, if his deep breaths were any indication. What really caught her attention, though, were the snowflakes. Or rather, the way the snowflakes landed on him. They were crisp and frozen, and it created specks of white all across his features as the snow nestled in Felix’s hair and eyelashes. If she had been any less disciplined, she might have been tempted to take a picture of him. (Only to use the snowflake patterns later as a design idea, of course.)

“Alright, let’s head for Dairy Queen!” Claude abruptly declared, breaking the brief silence that had settled amongst them.

Felix’s eyes cracked open, incidentally meeting Marinette’s at the same time. She averted her gaze, a strange sense of deja vu washing over her. Here she was, staring at him again. How many times was she going to feel weird about staring- or being caught staring -until she remembered not to stare? Granted, it shouldn’t feel weird in the first place. Staring was staring, especially when it was a stare between friends. The most he should say about it is, “what are you looking at?”, and that wasn’t a problem. That was a completely logical response, actually. So why did her stupid brain think it was a problem?

“I call dibs on driving Marinette!” Claude added, wrapping his arm around Marinette’s shoulders.

“What!” Allegra nearly yelled from shock. “You can’t call dibs!”

“Okay, then I call turns!” Claude shot back. “You got to drive her on the way here, so I get to drive her on the way to Dairy Queen.”

“Guys, you know she’s a human being, right?” Allan commented.

Marinette laughed. “It’s alright. I’ll go with Claude to Dairy Queen, and Allegra can drive me home.”

“Aw, she gets to drive you home?” Claude whined.

Allegra, however, pulled a triumphant grin. “Ha-ha! I get a good night snack from Mme Sabine!”

“I’m glad you two only value Marinette for her pastries.” Felix remarked.

Marinette snorted, but Allegra and Claude immediately let out an offended gasp.

“How dare you claim such a thing!” Claude said, now wrapping both arms around Marinette’s shoulders. “Marinette is amazing and wonderful, and I would choose her over pastries a thousand times.”

Allegra hugged Marinette as well. “Yeah, we’re not that shallow. Mme Sabine’s cooking is phenomenal, but Marinette is the one we truly love.”

“I hear that.” Allan chuckled.

The beginnings of a blush curled around Marinette’s cheeks, and she hugged Allegra and Allan back. She knew that she was the one they loved, not the pastries, and that’s why she wouldn’t hesitate to give them all the pastries in the world if they asked.

Tag list: @artbyknigit @athena452 @nickristus-dreamer @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @arsaem @abrx2002 @neakco @pawsitivelymiraculous @too0bsessedformyowngood @nathleigh @lusicing @officiallydarkgeek @all-mights-asscheeks @tbehartoo @woe-is-me0 @raeuberprinzessin @lazuli-11 @miss-chaos27 @trippingovermyfeet @sadpotatoondrugs @ladybug-182 @jaggedheart11 @marinahrasauce @i-need-blog-ideas @thewheezingbubbledragon @crazylittlemunchkin @unabashedbookworm @moonystars14 @sunflowers-and-mooncakes @2confused-2doanything @magnificentcrapposts @moonnette @nickristus-dreamer @vixen-uchiha @casual-darkness @luxmorningstarr @jjmjjktth @kaithehero @itsme1598

#felinette #Felix Culpa #Quantic Kids #New Girl on the Block #Rosemary AU #Marinette

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ladylynse · 4 years ago

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Chapter 6 [FFN | AO3] of Forewarning

All Dipper knew was that there was something buried in some special thermos behind the shack; all Danny knew was that he had no idea how he'd gotten here.

Based off this artwork by @hashtag-art. Happy birthday, @bibliophilea!

(beginning | previous)

-|-

Once safely back at the Mystery Shack, Wendy turned off the golf cart and grabbed her supplies from the rack in the back. It had been a bumpy ride, but she’d only needed to sacrifice one bag of marshmallows to the forest. That wasn’t bad, considering how many creatures she was fairly sure lived there.

And, fine, maybe it made her a little paranoid to think that some of the bumps she’d hit had been deliberate, a growth of tree roots just so or deep holes suspiciously covered with leaf litter, but it wasn’t like she voiced her thoughts to anyone else.

Besides, whatever lived in the forest seemed happy with the occasional sacrifice of candy. At the very least, she’d never been stopped by something yet, and she took a lot of shortcuts through here by herself. That wasn’t exactly recommended, even for those who knew the territory well. When her family went out for apocalypse training, they were supposed to pair off. They didn’t always, but they did more often than not.

It’s easier to survive if there’s someone you trust around to watch your back, but you have to know how to fight if there isn’t.

Whatever had stopped by the Mystery Shack wasn’t bringing the apocalypse with it—she was pretty sure about that—but she didn’t want this to turn into that. Taking the twins to see the haunted grocery store? Sure. She still hadn’t been sure they’d actually see ghosts despite the stories—no one had been until it had happened—but that was different. That was contained. That was very much not in the Mystery Shack. Where the kids slept. With only the oblivious skeptic Stan around to fight the things that went bump in the night.

Now, if those things were corporeal, she wouldn’t be concerned. The man knew how to punch, and he’d punch before asking questions. But whatever had turned up this time clearly had the option to not be corporeal. Like a ghost.

She remembered the footprints appearing in the scattered baking soda a split second before the boy who’d visited earlier appeared. The same boy who had flashed a careless grin and flipped through postcards and keychains and magnets in the gift shop before taking a tour with Mabel.

Whatever he was, he wasn’t a ghost, but he was entirely too much like a ghost for comfort.

There was no sign of Stan yet—not a surprise; she hadn’t heard his car—but chances were good he wasn’t far behind her.

She saw Soos walking in from the lane and raised her hand in a wave. He spotted her and held a finger to his lips before pointing, and something cold and heavy settled in her gut as she spotted three figures by the woodshed: Mabel, Dipper, and the not-a-ghost boy who’d called himself Danny.

She cursed under her breath as she hurried to meet Soos. “That’s him,” she hissed. “We need to get him away from the twins.”

“Did you find anything in town that we can use?”

“I bought a couple more boxes of salt.” Silver was expensive—too expensive for her, anyway—and she wasn’t exactly guaranteed to find holy water even if she tried breaking into a church, mostly because she didn’t know where she’d look for it. She could’ve bought a cast iron frying pan, but she might as well grab one from the kitchen. The ideas of what they might be able to do had quickly fallen apart when she’d realized what was actually feasible. “It’s better than nothing.”

“What about garlic?”

“For a ghost?”

“You said he wasn’t a ghost.”

“Close enough to a ghost. And, anyway, there should be some in the kitchen. We can always chop up a couple of cloves and see if it does anything.” If it didn’t, and they didn’t waste it, they could always throw it into hamburger meat or make garlic bread. “How long has he been here? The kid?”

“Just a couple of minutes,” Soos allowed, “but this isn’t the first time the kids have met him.”

Wendy closed her eyes. “I know, I just…. I’d hoped they wouldn’t realize he wasn’t normal.” More to the point, she’d hoped that he wouldn’t come back. What the hell did he want, anyway? Sure, he’d said something about fixing whatever was wrong, but their ideas about what needed fixing weren’t likely the same.

“They might not. He was pretending to be normal when he talked to me.”

“He talked to you?”

“Just to ask after Dipper and Mabel.”

Wendy frowned. Soos didn’t sound too optimistic that Mabel and Dipper wouldn’t realize there was something weird about the kid, and frankly, she thought he was right. Mabel might be more forgiving, but Dipper…. “We’ll play it cool. Keep doing whatever you were doing. Try to keep an eye on them without being too obvious about it. I’ll prepare the fire pit.”

“The wood, campfire forks, hot dogs, marshmallows—?”

His gaze had wandered pointedly down to the box of salt pressing against the white plastic bag she carried, its blue label clearly visible. “Yeah. I won’t ring it thickly enough that it’s noticeable, especially since it’ll have to be in the gravel where nothing’s growing anyway, but if he’s going to pretend to be normal, then we’ll see how long he can keep that up.”

“And if he’s not affected by the salt?”

“We cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“And if we’re wrong and he is normal after all?”

Wendy snorted. “If he’s normal, he’s only normal for here.” She saw Soos shift uncomfortably and added, “If Stan comes back before I’m finished, give him the pitch about taking measures to ghost-proof the Mystery Shack and advertising doing that because it’s haunted. He’ll know how to get more of what we need, even if he doesn’t think it’ll do anything.”

“What if he’s not bad? The kid, I mean. Not everything is bad. Not everyone is bad.”

The kid had claimed he wasn’t a threat. He’d said he was stuck, that he just wanted to go home, that he had to fix something, not break it. What if it hadn’t been a lie? She didn’t see how his sneaking around could mean his intentions were honourable, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t missing something.

On the other hand, if he were simply determined to show a friendly face to the twins to get them to lower their guard, only to strike once he’d fooled them—

Wendy wasn’t sure if she wanted to take that risk. Having a healthy amount of suspicion now and apologizing later sounded much better to her than being overly trusting and being burned—especially if she wouldn’t be the only one caught in that fire. She and Soos had lived their entire lives here. Mabel and Dipper had not. They might not yet appreciate the degree to which not everything was as it appeared.

“You don’t need to be ready to attack,” Wendy finally said. “You just need to be ready to defend.” Soos nodded, maybe thinking her words were for both of them, but they weren’t. She had no intentions of simply being ready to defend. She wasn’t about to attack unprovoked, but if this kid did anything that set off alarm bells for her, she’d act on her gut. She trusted her gut more than her head. It was reliable in these sorts of situations.

The trouble was, her gut should have made a call on this already. Instead, she was still conflicted, and more time to mull it over on her trip into town hadn’t helped. Part of her still wanted to take the kid’s words at face value, but the little she’d seen of what he could do backed up the part of her that insisted he was far too dangerous to blindly trust. Soos wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but there was so much that could seem innocuous at first….

The knowledge that Soos was right and they had no idea if salt would actually help defend them didn’t make this any easier—especially when Danny was clearly interested in Mabel and Dipper. Soos had mentioned Dipper having a book, and she remembered seeing glimpses of it before. If that’s what the kid was interested in, how was she supposed to help Dipper and Mabel protect it while still protecting them?

Salt first. Purifying fire and questions later, if the kid decided to stick around for it. As long as he wasn’t hurting her friends, she was willing to give him a shovel and see how deep he dug.

XXXXXXX

Danny didn’t see the journal around, but Dipper apparently didn’t need it to draw his magic circle thing in the dirt. To be fair, Danny didn’t know if it was the same one as before, but he also didn’t want to find out. Which meant taking the initiative and trying to explain before they decided to pull more magic stuff on him.

“Please don’t do whatever you’re planning on doing,” he said, keeping his voice low in the hope that the guy he’d been talking to earlier wouldn’t hear it. “I just want to talk, I swear.”

“Are you ready to explain now?”

That was Dipper, with a bite in his voice that reminded Danny a bit of Valerie. Dipper might not sound even half as malicious as Valerie could when she was spitting curses at Phantom, but he was appropriately wary. “Yeah. But you have to promise you won’t try any magic stuff.”

“No. You’re not defenseless, and I’m not swearing away my ability to protect anyone.”

Oh. Right. He might think that particular promise carried more weight than a regular promise. He seemed to think giving his word would make it impossible to break. Danny didn’t know of any ghosts with that power, and frankly he didn’t want to meet one who had it. “You don’t have to. I just…. I promise I’m not here to hurt you or anyone else. I only want to talk. And not, y’know, risk being exorcised if you don’t believe me.”

Mabel looked from Danny to her brother and raised an eyebrow. He scowled at her but said, “Fine. If you don’t do anything except tell us the truth right now, I won’t try to exorcise you.”

Not ideal, but it wasn’t like Danny was planning on lying through his teeth to them, anyway—or that he couldn’t still attempt a lie if he felt he needed to. He had a feeling it wouldn’t work, though. He hadn’t had a whole lot of luck earlier. Maybe seeing through that thing was a kind of survival instinct around here, just like Secret Lab Guy had said.

Come to that, though— How had he had an entire conversation with someone, spilled half his life story to that someone, and not actually gotten their name?

Whatever. He’d ask later if he didn’t figure it out before then. It just proved the point, though. These people were good. Sharper than he was used to, unless almost everyone in Amity Park had already figured out his secret and was just being nice and waiting for him to make some kind of grand announcement.

Yeah, right. If Amity Park’s continued obliviousness wasn’t natural, then Vlad had done something. Not something Danny would thank him for, exactly, but something he wouldn’t fault him for, either.

“Thanks. Can I sit?” There weren’t chairs. There weren’t even logs. Dipper would be able to tell that he was staring at the circle drawn in the dirt, though, and know the question for what it was.

Mabel reached out one foot and drew a line through it with the toe of her shoe. “Yup!” she said, dropping down in place. “Pull up some grass.”

Dipper glared at her as Danny sat down on a patch that was more gravel than grass, but the other boy didn’t say anything; he just settled down and looked like he’d be ready to grab the axe beside him at a moment’s notice. Danny didn’t really want to find out if he knew how to use it. Then again, going by the assorted sizes of split logs nearby, he wasn’t overly skilled; even if it wasn’t a normal axe that Danny could avoid with intangibility, there was a good chance that Dipper was clumsy enough with it that he’d be easy enough to avoid.

“I’m sorry about not being entirely straight with you earlier when I said I would be.” Danny didn’t know where to begin, but an apology seemed smart when he still wanted their help.

“Which time, Phantom?”

Well, at least there wasn’t any lingering doubt. Danny sucked in a breath and let it out slowly to give himself a bit of time to think. Mabel looked ready to listen, but Dipper…. He still wasn’t sure about Dipper. “This isn’t exactly something I tend to tell strangers,” Danny said slowly, “but you’re right. I’m Phantom. I’m the one you let out of the thermos.”

Dipper was still practicing his glare, but Mabel asked, “So what are you? You’re not a ghost. We’ve seen ghosts.”

“I’m still a ghost,” Danny said, since as far as he knew, that was true. “Just…part ghost. Part human.” He rubbed the back of his neck and offered them a smile. “Remember when I joked about being the poster boy for interdimensional safety?”

“You expect us to believe you were in some sort of accident,” Dipper said flatly.

They didn’t need to know all the details, but— “Yeah. Lab accident. It didn’t kill me, or at least I don’t think it did, but I did get ghost powers, so that’s cool. Not something I’d recommend to anyone, but cool.”

Okay, Dipper definitely didn’t believe that, but Mabel nodded as if Danny had said something normal and not what probably sounded insane. “Why were you in the thermos?”

“Clockwork, I think. He’s the one who gave me the message to warn you in the first place, remember? Also the one who likes to pretend he doesn’t interfere but interferes like this. I thought it was Vlad, until I…until I realized how long it had been. And, no, before you ask, I don’t know who wrote that journal. I wasn’t lying about that. The only important bit I lied about was ‘Danny Fenton’ being a friend.”

“Why fess up now?” Dipper’s question was a challenge, sure, but Danny could hear the genuine curiosity behind it. Chance were, he wasn’t a great liar, either.

“Because I might need your help to get home. Especially if that help involves you trusting me enough to let me help you and you not trying to kill me first.”

“What were you looking for earlier?” Danny blinked, trying to figure out what that meant, and Dipper must have read that confusion on his face because he elaborated, “Mabel heard you. We know you were back before you showed yourself now.”

Right. She had been in the gift shop area, hadn’t she? “I was trying to find some clue about what else I’m supposed to do here.”

“And?”

That meant did you find it? Danny might’ve promised them the truth, but he’d also promised the other guy that he wouldn’t blow that secret, either. More or less. Hopefully that wasn’t what he was supposed to do here? “There’s something weird about this place,” he said instead. “It’s got this…feeling. I don’t know how to describe it.” It was something unnerving, like the feeling the Fright Knight could give you, but with more…. More I’m-watching-you vibes. Vlad times a hundred. If he didn’t need to stick around to get home, he’d be gone by now. Whatever Clockwork was trying to warn these guys away from, it felt like a danger on par with Pariah Dark.

Not that he’d be able to explain that to them.

Mabel reached over to poke Dipper in the arm. “Show him the journal.”

That would make things a lot easier for him. “I could tell you what it has wrong about ghosts. Or at least about me,” he offered. He wanted to do that regardless, but if he could give them more reason to show him, well….

“It seems to be right about you,” Dipper said, “unless you want to pretend that you’ve never been affected by anything we’ve done.”

Danny blew out a breath. “Look. Being part ghost doesn’t mean I’m exempt from everything that works on ghosts. It also means that I need to be careful around hunters, including you guys. But I’m not here to fight you or steal something or whatever your book says about me. I’m the good guy, I swear.”

“The good guy. Who needs his own little dedicated section in the journal.”

“Dedicated section?” That sounded worrisome. How much info did these guys have on him? Some of it had to be accurate, but if it was just full of things he’d done as a ghost with no context, like the stealing—

“More like a paragraph,” Mabel interrupted, “and it’s not even in the same language as the rest of it.”

Wait.

“Not the same language? What language is it?”

“See for yourself,” Mabel said. She elbowed Dipper when he didn’t immediately produce the journal and offer it up and then hissed a few things in his ear for good measure, which finally seemed to convince him. He pulled the journal out from beneath the vest he’d been wearing earlier, flipped through to the right page, and turned it around to show Danny.

Danny leaned closer, but he didn’t recognize the language, either. If it was something ghosts spoke, he’d never seen it written down, but aside from Wulf, most of the ghosts he’d met spoke English. He didn’t know how many other languages they spoke, though. He’d never asked. If this was some common language he had yet to learn….

“It might be the way it’s coded,” Dipper admitted, “instead of actually being in a different language. Some passages in the journal are coded, but they’re all the same code, except for this. I haven’t had any luck cracking it.”

Danny frowned, reading the page over before Dipper could take it away. He couldn’t see anything about a thermos or anything else that would have led them to him in the first place, but there was a bit of gibberish above that section written in green ink that might be the first code—

Wait. Green ink? Everything else in here was black or blue or some kind of brown that Danny really hoped wasn’t blood. “What else is written in this colour?” he asked, pointing to the passage.

“That’s it.”

“In the entire book?” That didn’t make sense. “But…why?”

“When I find the author of the journals,” Dipper said bluntly, “that won’t be one of the first questions I ask.”

“It won’t even be one of the first hundred,” Mabel added. “Dipper’s never understood the importance of colour.”

To be fair, it wasn’t typically high on Danny’s list of priorities, either, but this colour thing was definitely strange. How many other weird things were in that book if this didn’t make the list?

“Does it mean something to you?” Mabel asked.

Danny hesitated. The fact that it happened to be the same colour as his eyes—or his ectoplasm—in ghost mode could be a coincidence, but things tended to be a lot less coincidental when Clockwork was involved. Danny wasn’t really ready to bet that whoever had written this journal had simply run out of every other colour of pen that day. “Maybe,” he admitted, “but only in that it might point toward me.” Or another ghost like him. Hopefully not Danielle.

“So do you know who wrote it?” she prompted.

He shook his head. “I don’t know the handwriting. That’s not saying much, though. There are a lot of people—and ghosts—I know whose handwriting I’d never recognize.” He wasn’t even sure he’d recognize the Ghost Writer’s handwriting. “What does the other part say about me?”

“That something was stuck in a thermos behind the shack,” Mabel answered immediately, ignoring her brother’s glare. “Which it was.”

“It’s a Fenton Thermos, something specifically designed to contain ghosts. My parents build them.” If he wasn’t trying to keep his secret anymore, there was no harm in admitting that. “They’re paranormal scientists and inventors.”

“Like the author of the journal is,” Mabel said, shooting Dipper a pointed look. “That must be why the bit about the thermos is in there.”

“Not— I mean, I’m not thirty years old. Seriously. Do I look that old to you? I just turned fifteen last week.” Well. Last week for him. Not for whenever this was, five years in his future. “Me being in the thermos is Clockwork’s fault.” Probably. Except Clockwork wouldn’t have needed to catch him in a thermos to force him back here; he could’ve simply asked and called in a favour if Danny had complained, which he would’ve. More likely, Clockwork had merely taken advantage of someone else capturing him in a thermos, and that list of possibilities was long—and included more than one ally, even when the capturing was intentional.

“I don’t know all the details, okay? I just…. I haven’t met a ghost besides Clockwork that messes with time.” His evil future self didn’t count, not when Clockwork’s power had still been the vehicle for everything he’d done.

…Danny really hoped this had nothing to do with him. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t appreciate the thermos parallels.

Of course, now that he thought about it, the fact that he’d been stuck in a thermos had to be deliberate. Sure, it was a way to skirt the notice of the Observants, but Clockwork had messed with the timeline before without doing anything sneaky like that. If the thermos was important…. Coupled with the fact that there was a portal being built beneath a place called the Mystery Shack….

“That’s why I’m here.”

“You care to share with the class?” Dipper asked.

“The thermos, the portal—”

“What portal?”

Oops. “The, y’know, whatever, it doesn’t matter, the point is, you said the author of the journals was a paranormal scientist? Maybe an inventor, too?”

“No, no, don’t change the subject. What portal?”

“Like a portal to another dimension?” Mabel queried. “Is that why you talked about interdimensional safety earlier?”

Oh, crud. They weren’t going to let his slip about the portal go. So much for that secret. “Just…never mind that right now. Paranormal scientist. Inventor. Like my parents. He probably didn’t know them, it would’ve been too early on for them to have made a name for themselves, they might not even have been together yet, but…. Okay. This is gonna sound crazy—”

“Crazier than everything else you’ve said?” Dipper asked dryly.

“—but just go with me on this. Please. I know what happened when my parents messed stuff up, and—”

“And you’re warning us so we’re prepared and more careful,” Mabel finished. “So I don’t get impatient and Dipper doesn’t get complacent.”

Danny frowned. “What?”

“Your warning,” she repeated. “You’re not trying to get us to stop what we’re doing. It’s a terrible warning for that. That kind of thing just makes you wanna do it more, whatever it is. So you’re actually warning us to be more careful than you think we would be otherwise.”

Danny opened his mouth to tell her that warning someone not to do something obviously meant they shouldn’t do it, and then he remembered all the times his parents had warned him not to touch stuff in the lab.

Right.

Maybe she wasn’t wrong.

Just because that was what a warning meant, didn’t mean it would always have the desired effect.

Moreover, Clockwork would know exactly what to have Danny say to get the desired effect.

He’d thought he’d come to help with the portal, but he still didn’t know the blueprints of his parents’ portal as well as Tucker did. If this were just about helping them build or fix the portal in the basement without bad consequences, Tucker was a better choice than he was, and Clockwork could most definitely have arranged that.

But Danny had joked about being the poster boy for interdimensional safety, and he could still disassemble and reassemble most of his parents’ weapons in order to tweak them, even if he wasn’t as good at it as Tucker, and he’d be an idiot to keep ignoring the fact that Clockwork had made sure he had a thermos here.

The thermos wasn’t for him. It had never been for him. It had contained him, sure, but Clockwork must’ve made sure he was stuck in one so that he’d think of this. So that he’d think of what they’d done with his evil future self. And so he’d have it when he needed it.

There was a portal in a secret lab in the basement of the Mystery Shack, and the thermos written about in Dipper’s journal was for whatever was coming out of it.

(see more fics | next)

#gravity falls #danny phantom #phantom falls #crossover #fanfiction #gf fanfiction #dp fanfiction #my writing #ladylynse #snippets #crossover snippet #gf snippet #dp snippet

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samwxlsxon · 5 years ago

Text

worried glances.

summary: You are a tech analyst for the Avengers. After the events of The Winter Soldier, you tracked Bucky down out of curiosity. Your relationship blossomed in secret. Now that Bucky has been arrested by Joint Counter Terrorism, your secret relationship is in jeopardy of being outed.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 4.2k

warnings: language and bad writing if you count that

sidenote: hi! this is my first fic of any kind so if it sucks, i am truly sorry. it is definitely going to have a part 2, but idk how many parts after that?? i hope you guys like it! any feedback is appreciated :))

read part 2 here!

If you could describe Berlin’s Joint Counter Terrorism Centre, hot certainly would not be in your description. The glass walls and empty spaces allowed for easy flow of air. Like any government building, it was surely freezing. It was the middle of summer so the AC was up full blast.

But you were melting. Your face and ears were burning and you were sure you would melt a hole in the metal handles of the doors when you pushed them aside. You were in a sundress and a light jacket, but you felt like a furnace.

You entered the building behind Tony and you couldn’t help the nerves that had overcome your body. A man, who would later introduce himself as Everett Ross, greeted you as soon as you entered.

“Tony Stark,” Ross shook Tony’s hand and acknowledged you as well. “Glad you decided to come to your senses. The Accords are good work.”

Tony rolled his eyes and responded while looking at your distressed form, “Tell that to blondie and his goon of a friend. And to this one over here. Can we get her some water? I don’t need another medical bill.”

As you were led through the glass halls, you tuned out their conversation and focused on the ringing in your ears.

The Accords had everyone on edge. Tony and Steve had obvious tensions and they seemed to have dragged the rest of the team down as well. It started to become obvious whose side you were on when you refused to attend the signing. You had stayed in New York, making adjustments to online data units just to keep your mind off things. You weren’t much for arguing. Besides, you had slightly bigger problems-- problems that involved a criminal with a metal arm.

To say you had curiosity towards the Winter Soldier was an understatement. So much so, that you managed to stick a micro-tracker to his arm during the fight on the highway two years ago. Steve and Sam chastised you for getting involved, but you didn’t care. The nasty black eye the Winter Soldier had given you was deemed worth it now that you had secured his location.

The technology was virtually undetectable-- your creation, of course. You could only notice it if you were looking for it. You knew you needed to keep a tab on him. And when you found out that he was Steve’s long-lost bestie, that only solidified the need to keep him under watch.

But the longer you stared at his location, the more you wanted to find yourself in Bucharest and knock on his door.

You wanted to talk to him, to put the pieces together- to learn about the HYDRA technology he’d seen. It would be a breakthrough. It would finally give the Avengers a boost ahead of the enemy.

You knew Steve would never look your way again if he found out you had this information or if he even knew you were thinking of paying Bucky a visit. But curiosity killed the cat.

So that’s why, a little over a year ago, you showed up on Bucky’s apartment doorstep with a black journal and a nervous smile. You figured you’d give him the journal as a peace offering, hoping that he get some use out of it. You knocked a couple times, but he didn’t even open the door as he told you to go away.

‘So much for hospitality’ you thought. The hot, dry weather made you start to regret wearing jeans. "Um, I don’t know if you remember me,” you crossed your arms and spoke against the door. “But we met in D.C. I’m a friend of Steve’s.”

There was no movement for a couple minutes. Then, you heard clicks coming from the locks and the door creaked open. He stood in front of you with a face that looked far from amused. He looked tired, metal arm mostly covered by a jacket despite the heat. His hair was behind his ears and stubble crept up the sides of his face.

He silently stepped aside, inviting you in. He watched carefully as you entered, shutting and locking the door behind you. The apartment was dark despite the florescent lights hanging from the ceiling. The kitchen area was cluttered with dishes and boxes. The couch was small and the walls were missing chips of paint. The bed on the floor looked like it had seen better days. The apartment looked like someone hadn’t thought of cleaning it for quite some while.

There was a table in the corner next to some shelves and then a singular bathroom. You looked from Bucky to the space. ‘Fitting.’ you thought. At least it matched his style- rugged and confused. You walked further inside and placed the journal on the table, sticking your hands in your pockets.

“What’s that?” he asked gruffly. He eyed the journal and leaned against the front door.

“It’s nothing, really.” You sat down on the chair next to the table and tapped on the cover of the book. “I thought you would like something to write things in. Like the stuff you learn...about yourself, or something.”

The newspaper that covered the windows prevented most light from entering the apartment. The lights on the ceiling were doing minimal to accentuate his features. You really couldn’t tell if he was even showing emotion.

He slowly removed himself from the front door and walked towards you. He was weary to pick up the journal, but when he did, he held it in his hands for a couple seconds and flipped through the blank pages.

“Thank you.” he responded. It was straight to the point. His voice didn’t waver or give any indication of what he was actually thinking. If he completely hated it, you wouldn’t have known.

You nodded and put your hands on your lap, intertwining them. “Yeah no problem.” you breathed, following the statement with an introduction.

“James. But I go by Bucky.” He took a seat in-front of you at the table. He left the journal in the middle of the table and eyed you as he got comfortable. “I know you didn’t come here to give me a journal. So what do you want?”

So then it started. You explained to him your curiosity; your curiosity for him and your desire to help him remember his past. You didn’t dare mention HYDRA. You wouldn’t want him mistaking your interest for something evil.

It quickly turned into a conversation. You asked him how much he remembered and what actually happened to him. You told him about Steve, the Avengers, New York, Ultron, everything. And he was interested. He would occasionally chime into your stories with a comment or a memory that was triggered by something you said. It was the first real conversation Bucky had in over 70 years.

And things sprinted from there. You visited him as often as you could, a couple times a month if things allowed it. You told the team you were out with friends for the weekend or visiting your family at home.

You wired your phone’s GPS to match your made-up location and found yourself at the very door you once wouldn’t even think about knocking on.

Bucky was stoic and downright intimidating, no matter how often you visited. But as you continued to bring him old pictures of Steve or excerpts from military documents at the time of his enlistment, he started to open up.

He started asking you questions about his past-his family. You had done your research on his origins, prepared to tell him everything.

He and Steve grew up in Brooklyn. His parents were Winnipeg and George Barnes. He was an officer in the 107th. You had all this information but you were so hesitant to tell him. You felt like you were robbing Steve of his moment.

You didn’t want to lie to Steve. Ever since D.C. he had longed for his best friend. It broke your heart that you were going behind his back. It felt even worse knowing that it was Steve who was supposed to be sharing these memories with Bucky.

But it was too late to tell him now. The more people that knew about Bucky’s location the riskier it would be. He was a wanted criminal after all.

But when Bucky gave you a look of curiosity and confusion, you knew he had been through enough pain to be withheld an answer. He would drink up the answers you gave him, engraving them into his memory. Every new discovery would be written in his journal.

Slowly, he began to anticipate your arrival and dread your departure. You were his first real friend in decades.

And so it went on for months. The visits and the talks. You were too intrigued to leave him alone, and at this point, you don’t think you could leave him if you tried. Slowly that friendship began to escalate. You would spend nights in his apartment instead of at the Marriott down the street. You would sleep on the couch. It was not the most comfortable sleep of your life, but you didn’t dare take the bed. He didn't deserve more discomfort.

He would greet you with a smile and a hug when you would arrive. Although the hug was brief and hesitant, it was a start. You would go on walks throughout the city and he would point out the Romanian architecture. He would teach you bits of Romanian and Russian. Common words like ‘coffee’ or ‘restroom’.

It would keep you both occupied. He would never admit it out loud, but he was grateful for your company. Loneliness and his trauma didn’t mix well.

It was like someone had taken your relationship, once so distant and weary, and turned it completely upside down.

Something as trivial as an accidental brush of his hand on yours as you reached for a french fry at dinner would stay in your mind for hours. You would lay next to him as he hesitantly wrapped his human arm around you, too scared about the unpredictability of his metal one.

He would tell you stories from his childhood involving Steve and you would laugh at the amount of times that man had found himself in alley fights.

Eight months into the visits, your relationship took a turn. You stood inside of his apartment about to leave for the airport. He had grabbed your hand and turned you to look him.

You were close. So close that you could see your reflection in his beautiful blue eyes. After a moment of staring, you did the only thing fitting at the time. You leaned in and kissed him.

He was so shocked, he didn’t move. It had been years since he had any amicable human interaction. His days had been filled with torture and pain. To see you treat him with such care and understanding made him question everything. You helped him remember.

Realizing that he wasn’t reciprocating, you pulled back, apologizing profusely. You had ruined everything. As you made another attempt for the door, he grabbed you and kissed you again. It felt right. It felt comforting. His lips molded with yours like they were peices of a puzzle; like they belonged together.

It was as if he was communicating to you all the longing and ache that was inside him all this time. Longing for affection.

So here you are, exactly six months from the kiss. The kiss eventually turned into more kisses. Those turned into feelings. He was different around you. A good different. Happy.

It became an unspoken relationship. You two obviously cared for each other. No one ever found out, no one ever could find out, especially not Steve.

If anyone discovered you had formed a secret relationship with a wanted Soviet criminal, you would be in more trouble than you cared to see yourself in.

The Avengers never really saw eye-to-eye with anyone trying to impose on them. They were independent, autonomous. But now, things were different. Tony, Rhodey, Vision, Nat.

They all agreed that the Avengers were overdue for some checks. That allowed an outlet for world governments to ease their way into putting the Avengers in their place.

When you got a call from Natasha saying something along the lines of Steve and Sam arrested, bomb at the signing, and Winter Soldier, you were on a plane to Berlin in a heartbeat.

With half of the Avengers teamed up with the government, Steve and Sam had no choice but to surrender. The Avengers were splitting.

So yeah, you were nervous. With Bucky on max-security lockdown, he would be just one question away from outing your relationship. While you never think he would, a slip-up could make you lose your job; a slip-up could have you arrested.

Ross led you and Tony to a glass office in the middle of a control center. Sharon was already inside and gave you a small wave as you made eye contact.

“You can wait in here until they arrive. Rogers and Wilson have had their gear impounded. I’ll make sure you get a copy receipt of what was taken.” Ross gave you a nod and turned to an agent beside him, ordering her to give Tony the write-up of the suits.

Tony’s ringtone made you turn your head. “It’s the Secretary. Shit. Go inside, I need to take this.” He sighed, pinched his noise, and walked towards a quieter area.

You turned around and opened the door to the office. There was a TV hanging from the ceiling. It was playing news coverage from Vienna.

‘Jesus,’ you thought. You sat down in-front of Sharon and gave her a worried look. The chair squeaked as you leaned back.

“What the hell happened?” You bit your finger nail and waited for her answer.

“A bomb went off at the signing. Large casualties. Killed the king of Wakanda. Security cameras caught Barnes on the scene. He’s the main suspect. The clean up for this is going to be insane.” She shook her head, thinking of the amount of press calls she would have to take after this was over.

You were speechless. How could it have been Bucky if he hadn’t left Bucharest in months? You had removed the tracker from his arm and apologized a long time ago, but he surely would’ve told you if he was planning on leaving, incase you came to visit.

She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “Steve and Wilson tracked down Barnes. They insisted on bringing him in instead of authorities. And look where that got them.”

Now that peaked your interest. “How did they find him? Steve has been looking for him for months.”

“They got a tip, I guess.” You noticed something in her voice when she spoke. She was too quick to answer and it sounded rushed, like she wanted to gloss over the topic.

“Next thing we know all four of them are beating ass in a public highway. Lots of damage, but what’s new.” She gave you a dry laugh.

“Four? Who else was there?” You asked.

“T’Challa. Wakandan. He’s the kings son.” She paused. “Well, king now. He has a superhero gimmick of his own. They call him Black Panther. Seems like everybody’s got a toy these days.” She rolled her eyes.

You were about to say something when there was a knock on the glass wall. Ross was standing there signaling for Sharon to come out.

“They’re here. Stay and I’ll be back.” She got up and left the office. As she opened the door you could hear the commotion going on outside. Phones ringing and people talking. Ross’s voice barking orders made you chuckle.

You stared at the TV for a moment. A reporter stood in-front of the rubble and spoke. It was muted so you couldn’t hear what he was saying.

You thought back to what Sharon had said. A tip. Someone else knew where Bucky had been. That meant that they most likely saw you coming and going from his apartment. He was being tracked. He was being watched.

“Fuck.” You mumbled. You leaned your head back to stare at the ceiling.

You were an idiot. Of course he was being watched. He’s a ninety-something super soldier that worked as a brainwashed killing machine for Soviet Inc. since god-knows-when. To think anyone even let him get away was crazy.

You began to think of Bucky. He cannot catch a god damn break. After the time you’d spent with him, you couldn’t picture why people saw him as a threat.

“Well maybe the part where he’s killed people.” you mumbled while you put your face in your hands. He was so different around you- caring and gentle, nothing like the man who had once punched you in the face.

You spun around in your chair a couple times. You wondered how he was feeling. A pang in your chest hit you as you thought of him being carried away like a killer.

Mid-spin you spotted Tony and Steve walking towards the office. You stopped yourself and let your body adjust to the slight dizziness. No sign of Bucky. Of course not.

You bit back a worried look as they entered through the door. You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until you opened your mouth.

“Biggest idiot award goes to you, you idiot. Emphasis on stupid.” You got up and gave Steve a slap on the shoulder. He probably didn’t even feel it.

Feeling slightly bad for the slap, you engulfed him in a tight embrace. He chuckled and hugged you back, having to bend at the waist a little to match your height. “Compromise. I’ll leave all the idiot with you next time.”

You pulled away and glared at him. You weren’t necessarily a mean person, so you hadn’t had much practice in the art of menace. The glare was futile. Hopefully he got the message.

“She’s right.” Tony sighed as he sat down in the chair you had just gotten up from. “You made things worse. So much worse. What the hell were you thinking? I had calmed Ross down about the whole Accords signing for now. He was so close to giving you more time. Well, if you thought the Secretary was on my ass before, you should see him now. He wants you and Wilson prosecuted, Steve. And I don’t think I can get you out of this one.”

You shot Tony another of your infamous looks of concern. “Prosecuted? Now that’s a bit much. Tony he barely did anything wrong.”

He scoffed. “Barely? Captain Righteous chased a wanted national criminal and Soviet assassin through a highway in a country he’s not even from. There was fighting. There was damage. Not to mention the sweet media blowup this is all going to get.

“I told you we needed checks. You cannot decide where you want to exert your power. The Accords, Steve. This isn’t a free for all.”

Steve rolled his eyes and started walking around the space. “I understand that Tony. You-.”

“No!” Tony’s hand slammed on the table, making you jump and rest back against the glass wall. “I don’t think you do understand.” Steve stopped walking and looked at him.

“You are not understanding the true consequences of your actions here. For too long you, we, the Avengers, have caused chaos all around the world without so much as a slap on the wrist. No consequences. No repercussions. We think in our own self-interest.

“And just to show how little you’ve learned, you get yourself involved in an arrest that no one asked you to meddle with! You need to be checked, Rogers.” Tony rested his hand on his mouth.

Steve slowly sat down in-front of him and spoke, “We help people,Tony. As much as we don’t want to, there will always be casualties. We do it our way because our way works. We will be limited under the hand of the government if we let them control us. We take risks for the better of the people. Sometimes our judgement is the best judgement because we train for things like this. Under order of a third party we give up our right to decide.

“Bucky is my best friend.” Your stomach flipped when you heard his name. “He doesn’t deserve to be locked in here like an animal. He was brainwashed- tortured. HYDRA kept him for years as a pawn in one of their sick experiments. I’d be damned if it wasn’t me who brought him in.” He intertwined his hands on the table.

Tony pushed his chair back from the desk to give him room to lean back. “You’re not allow-” he started.

“Is he okay?” You spoke quietly from against the wall.

Both heads snapped towards you. Tony gave you a funny look, probably wondering why you even bothered asking.

Steve turned his chair slightly towards you, silently thankful for an escape from the argument.

“For now. He isn’t hurt or anything, but they have him locked up. They’re giving him a psych eval and then shipping him off.” He looked down and shook his head.

You bounced off the wall. “They’re moving him? Where? Why not just try him here?” You crossed your arms and got closer to the table.

“I don’t know.” Steve shrugged. “He has pending warrants in like 3 other countries. Not to mention he is accused of killing a Wakandan king. He’s going there first. And he never really committed a crime in Berlin so he had no reason to stay.”

“So much for keeping an eye on him. ‘M sorry, Stevie.” You muttered and gave him a sad look. He nodded and gave you a small smile in return.

In reality, you weren’t sad. Not sad, but angry. You had no right to be. He was wanted. He had to go through trial. You were mad at HYDRA. You were mad that those slimy motherfuckers put him through all this. They crafted him to be a perfect weapon but didn’t think of the consequences on his life.

Tony was about to speak up when Sharon and Sam entered the office.

“Bird costume? C’mon.” Sam exclaimed, trailing behind Sharon.

She rolled her eyes and walked to the table and picked up the TV remote. “Shut up, I didn’t write it.”

Grumbling, Sam sat down next to Steve after shoving the paper in his pocket.

Sharon gave Steve a quick look and pressed a button on the remote. She changed the channel on the TV. The news network from before now gone and replaced with live footage. Live footage from inside Bucky’s cell.

Well, if you could call it a cell. It was more like a block. A block with wrist and ankle cuffs and glass that looked like clear cement. He couldn’t escape if he wanted to.

Your jaw dropped and you let out a small gasp.

“His evaluation should start in about twenty minutes. I’ll leave this up here for you. Just don’t go blabbing that you saw this, please.” She gave you all a pleading look. Everyone nodded but Steve. He was too busy staring at Bucky through the screen.

Again, you felt the guilt in your chest from keeping the tracker secret from Steve.

Sam let out a low whistle. “They weren’t kidding about the security, huh.”

A small smile crept on Tony’s face but he didn’t look up from his phone. Steve silently got up and walked up close to the TV. He sat against the table, his eyes never leaving the screen.

You tried to not let your face give away your emotions. Bucky looked lonely. You wanted to touch him. Hold him. Tell him that everything was going to be okay. But those were empty promises because everything was absolutely, most definitely, not okay.

You were about to lose the man you loved to a jail cell for who-knows how long and there wasn’t anything you could do about it. Kinda fucking blows.

You had to casually rub your eye in order to stop the tears that were about to flow freely down your cheeks.

But the footage was short lived. Sharon saw two agents approach the office door and immediately changed the TV back. You wondered why she was so picky about that, seeing as the walls were made of glass.

Wondering why the channel was changed, Steve whipped around fast enough to see the agents walk in through the door. You rested your finger tips on the side of the table and picked at the wooden edge, too entrapped in your thoughts to truly process their entrance.

However, you turned around slowly as they addressed you.

The agent on the right was taller than the other. He looked important. They both did. While the rest of the agents in the building were dressed in casual business wear, these two wore suits. When you were walking through, you had only noticed suits on people like Ross- it signaled importance in your eyes.

When you didn’t respond, the tall one called your name again. Now everyone was paying attention. Tony had set his phone down and eyed them carefully.

“Yeah?” You protectively crossed your arms and stood up straighter.

This time, the shorter one spoke. “Ma’am, if you could please come with us. We would like to ask you some questions regarding Mr. Barnes.”

And your heart stopped.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i hope you guys liked it! lmk if you want to be added to the tag list for my future fics. any critiques or comments you guys have are always welcomed :) requests are open xoxo

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standbi-ghost · 5 years ago

Text

Guess I’ll Just kms

Words: 1812

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Suicide (technically), suicidal thoughts, panic attack

Go say hi on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27387829

In order to go ghost, Danny has to kill himself. It isn’t that bad really, but when his mom finds a journal where he keeps track of the best ways to kill himself (which sounds sketch in and of itself) and thinks he’s suicidal, he has an important decision to make.

It was a grounding feeling; the cold touch of a knife pressed to his throat. What once would’ve frightened him to no end, was now becoming something of a constant in his otherwise chaotic life. He let the knife find its keep and in seconds, his Jugular vein was sliced.

As he let the all too familiar feeling of his ghostly transformation happen, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the ghastliness of his situation. Was this technically suicide? No, probably not, it’s not like he was actually dying, just, playing dead. Lots of animals do it in self-defense and this wasn’t that far off. Plus, Danny knew he didn’t want to die, or in his case, cease to exist, right?

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he turned to see Skulker already in a fighting stance. He sighed and shot into the sky ready for the chase to begin.

At the cursed hour of 4 in the morning, Danny found himself sneaking into his own room. He flopped onto his mattress and let out a long, well-deserved mind you, groan.

He felt like he’d been run over by a car which was probably because that’s exactly what happened. Hey, to be fair, he had also been invisible. How was the poor driver supposed to know Danny was stupidly floating in the middle of the road? The driver was fine too, a little shaken up but he managed to phase him out of his car before any damage was done to him.

He lazily snaked his arm into his abandoned backpack and pulled out a dying black notebook barely holding itself together by a thread. There were rips, tears, and folds everywhere and a suspicious amount of green and brown stains were spattered throughout the pages. He liked to joke that it was his own personal Death Note except the only one doing any dying was him. It had started out as a way to record which death methods were quick and easiest, which were dramatic but efficient, which shouldn’t be tried again, but it had developed into a coping mechanism of sorts, some kind of morbid diary filled with a mixture rants and execution plans. He flipped to the next clean page and began to write his death-of-the-day and the events that followed.

A sinking calm settled into his core as he continued to rant about missing yet another test because of Skulker. He was halfway done with the entry when his eyes began to flutter closed, no longer being able to fight his body’s plea for rest.

He didn’t hear the soft creak of his door open, didn’t see the hand reach out and take his notebook, didn’t feel that same hand run itself through his hair, giving way for a pair of lips to kiss his forehead.

When his alarm went off at the usual 6 am it always did, he didn’t notice the suffocating stagnant air in the room, just stretched out his sore limbs, rubbed his eyes awake, and went on with his usual morning routine.

As he made his way downstairs, Danny made sure to annoyingly, as any younger sibling should, yell at his sister.

“Jazz I swear to the Ancients that if you try and leave without me again, I will piss your pants, you know I can’t be late again, Mr. Lancer-”

His voice trailed off when he took in the sight of his parents before him.

His dad was avoiding direct eye contact in the most obvious manner. His mom was wearing a watery smile, most likely trying to mask whatever had both his parents so tense. For a second, he panicked. Had they figured it out? What was it? Was it the mannerism, the eyes, the hair?

“Danny?”

He looked up from his panicked haze and saw concern plastered on both his parents’ faces. It looked wrong.

“Uh- where’s Jazz?” he asked, looking around in a last-ditch effort to crawl out from under their crushing gaze.

“Jazz left for school early today, something about a meeting with one of the counselors” his dad quietly responded, almost like he was tiptoeing around Danny, which set off all kinds of red flags.

For one it was hard to forget his dad could even be that subdued, the man practically radiated excitement. He also seemed, tired. Not the kind of tired you get after working at a lab all day, no, this was a soul-crushing tired, one that reflected inner turmoil. He looked away to catch his mom’s gaze only to look Danny in the eyes again, a forced smile finding its way on his face.

“Danny boy, we just wanted to talk to you about some- about how you’re doing.”

“I- uh, don’t know what you mean dad” he stuttered out.

“You’ve just been really closed off lately and, as your parents, we worry Danny.”

He turned his wide eyes towards his mother. Had he heard her right? They worried? Had he been worrying his parents? Was he a distraction? He was already indirectly messing with their inventions but now he was distracting them too. What kind of son-

“I’m fine. I mean, school’s been, uh- something, but I’ve been dealing- “

“Danny, are you suicidal?”

It came out as a whisper, but it echoed loudly in his head.

All he could do was stare, mouth agape, desperately trying to form words in his favor.

Heavy wasn’t the right word to describe the air in the room. Suffocating came closer. How was he even supposed to respond to that? If he told his parents the truth, they would hate him for keeping it a secret for so long. For lying to them, manipulating them, making a fool out of them. They would do much worse than dissect him, they would no longer see him as their son and that cut deeper than any scalpel could. On the other hand, if he lied and told them he was suicidal, they would ship him off to a loony bin. They would stuff him with pills and strip his mind away from him leaving him an empty husk of a person. And would it even be a lie? How many times had the thought crossed his mind? How many times had he begged for death at the end of an alleyway, at the bottom of a ditch, passed out at the foot of his bed, only to get up, dust off, and continue to live- no- to exist as a drone.

His breath began to pick up- could he even call it a breath? He knew if he didn’t say something, anything, his parents would come up with their own answer. What was the question again? Why couldn’t he think straight? He would lose any and all control he may have had. Was he in control? Why couldn’t he control his own body? His own mind? His thoughts were racing, and he was dragging behind them. Why was everything moving so fast? Why couldn’t he catch a break for once? He felt like a cornered animal, quite literally too. A feral growl crawled out of his throat as he backed himself into a wall, attempting to make himself look less pathetic. Attempting to make himself look like a threat. Maybe then they’ll go away. Maybe then he would stop hurting so much.

Don’t let them know you’re weak.

They’ll hurt you.

They won’t understand.

They’ll never love you.

How could they love you?

You-

“Danny”

And just like that, the fog dispersed and he was left stranded in the empty halls of his mind. He felt the cold wall behind him taunting him with its cold embrace.

“Danny it’s okay, you’re okay, breathe”

That was his mom’s voice. He felt the adrenaline seep out of him, embarrassment taking its place. That was all the confirmation they needed. He was fucked. No matter what they thought of him before, nothing could erase the scene he had just caused. Ancients he was fucked. What even was that? What normal person freaks out over a simple question?

He groaned as he let his face fall into the palm of his hands. He felt a wave of shame wash over him as his mom took him in her arms.

For a moment everything was back to normal. There was still tension in the air, but it all melted in the warm embrace of his mom.

“I found your notebook last night.”

And with that, it all made sense. He flinched out of her embrace and felt shame at seeing the hurt on her face the action caused. He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his chapped lips. Of course, the one escape he had was what had exposed him. It was naïve of him to think that no one would find the notebook he practically carried everywhere. Sooner or later this had been bound to happen, he just hoped it would be later. He had been careless and now he was paying for it.

“I guess I should come clean huh?” He would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared, terrified, but he couldn’t shake the possibility that maybe, maybe, his parents would support him, be there for him. The very thought left a warm feeling in him.

“It started a few weeks before Freshman year...”

And so, he let the dam break. 3 years filled with pain and fear poured out in a flurry of words. He found that, once he started, he couldn’t stop.

He couldn’t help but flinch as his dad reached out and took his small hands in his. He looked him dead in the eyes, searching for confirmation, that this was okay, and when Danny nodded, he pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, his mom following closely behind.

“Oh Danny, how could you not tell us?” his dad asked.

“We’re sorry for making you feel anything but loved and accepted. There is nothing you could do or become that could get rid of our love for you.”

So that’s how he found himself skipping school, in a cuddle pile with his parents, binge-watching Star Wars, Marvel movies, and the occasional Space Documentary.

And when Jazz got home after school that evening, she didn’t question the sight of her parents holding on to Danny for dear life in the middle of their living room, caught in a pile of pillows, blankets, and love, acceptance. She just smiled, shook her head, and made her way up the stairs.

She would have a talk with her brother about his mental health another time. Right now, she knew, everything would be okay.

“oh uh, you guys should probably stay far away from the red bulls in my room.”

“Wha- “

“I may or may not have filled them with arsenic...”

“Daniel James Fenton”

“It's death on the go!”

Everything would be okay.

#yall want angst?#angst #Danny Phantom #danny fenton #danny phantom au #alternate universe #fentons #maddie fenton #jack fenton #jazz fenton #fanfiction #suicide?#not really #panic attack #identity reveal #family fluff #angst with a happy ending

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nelllraiser · 4 years ago

Text

into the fold, two: surrender | adam & nell

PREVIOUSLY: into the fold: part one TIMING: the ma’al cult investigation. PARTIES: @walker-journal and @nelllraiser. SUMMARY: nell and adam dive deeper into the cult. CONTENT: sibling death mention, torture (implied), gaslighting (demon telepathy)

The intrusion of the eldritch on Neveah Alcott’s palatial home had initially been a subtle thing. Corruption came in degrees, and just as Neveahs parties were initially just high society networking that occasionally dabbled into idle metaphysical conversation, so too were the tiny within changes Alcott’s manner easy to dismiss as tricks of mood lighting or fanciful imagination until it was far too late.

Those ‘idle conversations’ became more pointed speculation and the reading of certain disturbing texts readings as shadows darkened with the discrete crevices of the Neo-Gregorian architecture. The nooks behind statues, pillars, and within arches grew deeper until those shadows became actual holes into nothingness rather than the mere absence of light. Those avant garde readings proved to be strangely magnetic, even to those with no previous intellectual interest. As dalliance turned to obsession, angles within the Alcott residence started to be ...not quite right...not lining up correctly even when one squinted.

More people were invited to these readings as doors in manor started opening to rooms that weren’t on the building's floorplan, only to lead elsewhere when opened again later. After Helena’s first ‘demonstration’ of bloodshed and symbology could attract the attention of beings beyond the confines of four dimensional space, guests started to report seeing the horrific landscapes of alien worlds beyond the house's windows. As high society parties devolved into debauched experiments to ‘expand consciousness’ through dangerous excesses of sensation, the manors’ light bulbs started to shine with colors that didn’t exist in the electromagnetic spectrum.

It had been around the time Helena performed the first ‘miracle’ by being briefly possessed by her otherworldly patron, that the walls began to bleed.

Now Adam sat in a dark room where the floor breathed, fleshy surface moistly yielding beneath him. The walls and ceiling stretched inward as the faces of hellish things strained against the fabric of reality. Maws, mandibles, and not quite human vissages pressed in a menagerie of faces from every angle as creatures from beyond the veil struggled to rip their way into this world.

“Nell…,” Adam managed to gasp past the broken spasming of his ribs, “you there?”

It hadn’t taken all that long for Nell to begin dreading the trips to the mansion. It wasn’t so much the bleeding of the walls, or even the screams that seemed to shatter silence out of nowhere that turned her stomach. No— she liked to think she was fairly ironclad when it came to things such as those at this point in her life. Instead it was the slow and steady transformation of the people, Neveah Alcott’s loyal followers, that made her insides squirm. Many of them hadn’t the faintest idea of what they were being readied for, harvested for as they pledged undying dedication to the woman whose ‘miracles’ left them wide-eyed and breathless despite the brutality of it all.

It had taken most of what Nell had to make sure she didn’t succumb to the trials and tests of the demon, and the witch had been sparing her magic and strength specifically for nights such as these when she wasn’t sure whether the shifting of the floor beneath her was due to the emerging hellscape or loss of blood. It would have been easier if she could use her usual protections against the less savory side of demons and their effects, but such a thing wasn’t thinkable when she was meant to be embracing the demon that lay in wait, getting closer to phasing through the thinning veil every day. No doubt any resistance would be perceived as opposition, and that wasn’t the behavior of a willing and wanting devotee.

Nell’s eyes were closed when Adam’s voice found her, cutting through the fog of her mind like the beam of a lighthouse on land’s shore. In a moment they were opening to the twisted visages of the creatures waiting to emerge into this world, but she quickly searched for Adam’s face amongst them until she found it next to her, reaching a hand toward him instinctively as he looked for her. “I’m here,” she answered, the tail end of a cough finishing the words for her as she covered her mouth, pulling her sleeve away to find fresh blood amongst the dried bits of it. Her first thought was to check his injuries as she usually did during a quiet spell of their demonic endeavors. “Everything in one piece?” she asked, already trying to scoot closer so she might try and take a look.

Adam stirred again at Nell’s voice. Bloodshot eyes opened. Adam’s gaze was unfocused at first, as if he were looking at some other world entirely. But his broken fingers found Nell’s outstretched hand and that physical presence seemed to anchor him. The red-rimmed brown of his eyes eventually found Nell’s face.

“Uh more or less,” he rasped, a weak attempt at a smile stark against a livid canvas of bruises and lacerations down his face and neck.

Adam had been conditioned to quietly endure suffering and even agony if it was necessary to preserve humanity’s destiny. But spiritual wounds that’d sapped his Hunter powers have become all the more serious in the sadism and darkness of this place. Day after day the cult’s rites wore Adam down physically as the tendrils of their master’s psychic influence drilled down into the bedrock of Adam’s selfhood. Little by little, Adam felt himself giving ground inside.

Adam struggled to sit up, but broken ribs protested so much that he abandoned the attempt. He himself fall back against the fleshy softness of the not-quite-stone floor.

Adam adjusted his head as the now literally blue-veined marble throbbed with cardiac warmth against his temple.

“How’re you holding up?”

Nell cradled Adam’s broken fingers gingerly, thankful for the grounding effect his touch had, but reminding herself not to squeeze his hand in reassurance for fear of making things worse. A pinpoint of frustration surfaced in her stomach, wishing for what wasn’t the first time that she could mend bones as well as she closed up flesh wounds. “I guess I can’t ask for more,” she managed to say while matching his half-hearted attempt at levity. “Actually that’s a lie. I can and will ask for more, but I know it’s not gonna do anything.” As she spoke she reached her free hand towards the gashes she could see making a jagged and broken path across his neck, beginning the work of magically willing them shut, scabs beginning to form where open wounds had been before. It wasn’t anything as useful as healing fingers or ribs, but it at least made her feel like she could provide some relief, no matter how small.

“I’m not super sure if I’m just lucky enough to see two of you- or if there’s actually some doppelganger who’s decided to give up the long con and just lay right next to you.” Who said you couldn’t mix potential impending doom with a bit of flirtation? Despite everything, she was determined to keep things light for a moment longer, hoping it might somehow hide the truth of their shared misery. When she’d finished with the gashes on his neck, Nell tried to lower herself closer to the ground to begin work elsewhere, but it seemed her noodle-like ams had other plans when they gave out halfway through her descent. She landed roughly next to Adam, and a grunt of pain paired with a gasped curse of “Fuck,” worked its way through her lips.

Sometimes Nell thought about what it might be like to give in. To fully immerse herself in the whisperings of the walls inside this mansion, and let herself be truly taken into the fold. It would stop then, wouldn’t it? The pain she watched Adam go through far too often. Her own injuries, and the constant ache in her body she couldn’t seem to shake since joining up. Fighting had always been second nature to her, as if she’d been born with a stubbornness that made it impossible for her to give up no matter how far ahead or behind she might be. There’d never been any exception to that rule, and yet here she was— doing her best to keep herself semi-vertical and thinking about how the easy way out was looking more and more appealing every day. If she were being honest it wasn’t just about making sure she and Adam were safe. There was a space for here whether she wanted to face that truth or not, a place where her talents would be embraced rather than shunned or cast out. This was a coven that wanted her, not one that had turned their backs to the witch. “You know...do you think he’d settle for just...one of us?” she asked quietly as she lay next to Adam, her voice barely above a whisper as if she were worried that Ma’al might be listening at this very moment. “Like if I just hung out here with the cult and really gave it my all- maybe you could go keep working on getting your strength back and stuff. It might not even be so terrible.”

“Shouldn’t use up your power like that Nell…” Adam rasped even as pain became more manageable and the clammy numbness of blood loss stopped crawling up his body. Adam may not understand magic, but he intuited that everything Nell spent on him was strength she didn’t have to save herself later. This forces in this place were looking for any chink in their armor and Adam swallowed down guilt that Nell was leaving herself vulnerable to keep him from sinking.

Adam’s gaze was drawn to the walls and ceiling as alien forms protrude into this reality. Spined proboscises stabbed blindly. Mouths with multiple interior rings of saw-blade teeth punctured outward like bladed xylophones before folding back in on themselves. Tendrils slick with acid fumbled around for organic matter to dissolve and absorb. Flowery blooms opened to lash out with hungry stigma while even stranger orifices extended luminous filaments or branching nerve clusters in search of fresh lifeforce to drink. Some of the faces pressing in through the walls were even vaguely humanoid, just with eye-sockets and too many mouths in all the wrong places. The stone and wood of the mansions structure buckled, like a dam about to give way before the tide. There was a taut tension in the air, as if reality itself was straining under some vast weight.

Adam looked into that wall of horrors for longer than was safe, and found his mind wandering dangerously as something weaved insidious thoughts in Adam’s own inner voice.

Why did Adam fight his true nature? He’d had always been addicted to the wrong things, craved the fucking, fighting, and killing like a drug instead of being pure and purposeful. Sure, he’d shackled himself with a code, hoping pious bullshit some dead martyrs had come up centuries ago could make him something more than just an adrenaline junkie that got his rocks off from killing. Adam had been a good little soldier, dutifully risking his life to save people who never even know he existed.

But look at you now, Adam had told Adam. Broken, repressed, and bleeding out while those normie motherfuckers just keep slaughtering each other in rich mens’ wars. Admit it, your mission is pointless. You were made into a weapon for a cause that is already lost.

Adam looked at the woman who’ve risked everything to follow him in here.

Shouldn’t he just be free? Free to fuck, fight, and kill without guilt. Why not take his strength back, and use it how he liked? It was his life wasn’t it? What claim did others have on it? Why was he afraid of what he wanted?

‘Didn’t Nell deserve to be loved by a real man, not someone’s else’s wind-up soldier?’ asked a quiet voice that knew all Adam’s deepest insecurities.

Adam put a small and feeble pressure on Nell’s hand, bloodshot eyes alive with forbidden thoughts as they looked at her with the wrong kind of hope. “I dunno but…”

“I’m an oathbreaker and you're an exile,” the fallen Hunter pointed out softly. “Maybe like, this place we could just…,” Adam didn’t finish the question, but raised torn eyebrows to Nell as if trusting she understood what he was asking.

“I want to,” Nell insisted stubbornly, not pausing in her work of closing up every wound she managed to find on Adam. By the time she reached the end of her efforts the black spots in her vision had widened, and a part of her was thankful for the way they blocked out the terrors of the surrounding walls. It was easier not to get caught up in the unsettling yet mesmerizing shifts that the twisted images went through when you couldn’t see half of them. She tried to wait until the world had stopped swimming to begin on the cuts decorating her skin that were bleeding a little too much for comfort, not all that keen on passing out here and now. It was taking the majority of her strength to make sure she didn’t slip into something of a forced sleep, her body practically begging for rest and a chance to recuperate the magic she’d spent while she swayed where she sat, forcing herself to sit upright, and hoping that would be enough to ensure she stayed conscious.

Despite Nell’s best efforts, her head swam with the visions on the walls, and for a moment she could have sworn she saw her own face among them. The bones of her cheeks looked sharper, harder than the reflection she saw in the mirror, but there was a confidence that couldn’t help but be alluring, a promise of power and the ability to ensure that no one would ever make a victim of her again. She could make them afraid if she really wanted to. Most normies were already there when it came to witches. Surely it wouldn’t take all that much to rake others into a similar boat? And if they were afraid, there’d be no one to lop off the heads of sisters in clearings in the forest like a knife through butter, or trap Nell beneath a Ring while brain biters stole bits of her she never thought possible to lose. What was stopping her? The judgment of others? The fragile and paper-thin concept of right and wrong? Was it wrong to want to protect herself? Wasn’t releasing the demons within the walls of the mansion the perfect way to achieve such a thing? No doubt a town that was razed would be one that wouldn’t lift a finger against her or the ones she cared about.

It was the press of Adam’s hand in her’s that made her realize she’d lost track of time somewhere in the middle of her wanderings, and her fingers pressed lightly against his own while she blinked herself back to this plane of existence. A mirthless chuckle fell from her, because she knew he was right. An oathbreaker and an exile. The world didn't want them, so why should they want the world in return? But as her vision cleared and her black eyes searched Adam’s, there was the smallest reminder somewhere in the back of her head. They’d come here for a reason, right? She hadn’t wanted Adam to fall. But was it really falling? Focusing on the man in front of her, her brows furrowed, a frown claiming her lips while she spoke. “We...that’s not why we came here...was it?” What if they’d both secretly hoped to be taken into the cult? Perhaps Ma’al had simply awakened a part of them that was already present. No- there was a promise she was meant to be keeping. A promise to the hunter that she wouldn’t let him go under, because that wasn’t something he’d wanted. “That��s not why we came here,” she said with more certainty this time around even as another voice within her tried to poke holes in the words. “You...want that? To stay here?”

Adam knew Nell was right, that wasn’t what they’d come here. Something was leading them astray.

But the walls breathed, bulging and distorting inward as multitudinous alien things strained against the skin of the world. The bleeding painting on the walls asked Adam if that was true.

Hadn’t he already been astray? Was really it so bad to realize you were lost?

“Only if you’ll stay with me,” he murmured.

Let me set you free. It was the slithering voice of Kevin, and the words the dream-being had uttered within the caves of the catacombs that echoed through Nell’s mind as Adam made his admission. Even then Nell had nearly given in to the promise of peace and the sheer relief of simply letting go and giving up. She’d barely managed to shake free of the tempting offer when it was a stranger making it, but now that it was the familiar and comforting features of Adam that was making the proposal she found the words all the more intoxicating— certain that warmth and safety would be found on the other side of them. “I want to stay with you,” she said while reaching out her free hand to place it along the side of Adam’s face, thumb resting upon his cheek as she weighed the gravity of her words. This was one of the only things she was certain of these days- that Adam was one of the more stable pieces of her life, and she was more than willing to follow where he went. So many people had left in the last few months, other magnets that had kept her carefully balanced between one another. Winston, Bea, Blanche, and now Jared. They’d gone the ways they’d needed to one by one, and though Nell didn’t resent them in the least it was undeniable that their departure had left her adrift. So if Adam wanted to find the peace they deserved here amongst the cult, and so did she...what was there to stop them? “I’ll stay with you, and we can just be here together.” Away from the world that was determined to throw whatever pain it could their way.

Hey Ma’al,

It's me, Adam.

Guess it's about that time?

If I do this, let you in...there’s one condition

Soft spring sun refracted through townhouse windows, golden rays playing across the kitchen.

“So anyway,” Adam said, trying not to get dish-soap on his jersey as he put plates in the washer. “Dad said Winn and Mr. Woods might be coming over later to help fix the roof...”

Sunflowers swayed in the warm wind outside the window, the nostalgic golden haze of the afternoon casting golden petals stark against their black centers. Light glinted off the harbor bay and the commercial bustle of the Sink District as tourists poured in from ferries to peruse shops and Spring Festival stalls.

Adam turned to look across the rooms with gentle brown eyes that’d never beheld violence beyond a locker room scuffle. He ran an unscarred hand through his hair and gave Nell a lopsided grin. “Hey...Nell? What’re you thinking about?”

Nell had been watching the gentle arc of the sunflowers as the breeze played with them, more than pleased that they’d grown so beautifully in the past year and already thinking about what she might plant next. “Hmm?” came her questioning hum, head turning towards Adam with a look of chagrin at being caught staring into space. The light of golden hour played over her unmarred skin, the only lasting signs of imperfection being the dirt under her nails from the garden, and the roughness of her finger pads. “Well I was definitely listening religiously,” came her knee-jerk reaction of a tease. But as she took in the perfectness of Adam’s grin and the sun lighting his hair her own smile claimed her lips, softening in the slightest. “Nothing. Nothing, really.” Her mind was at peace, finally serene with a lack of problems to solve and shadows of witch-killers to fear in the night. “Just thinking about how I’m...happy.” She took a few steps towards him, beginning to close the space that had found its way between them. “Happy here with you.”

#// it's casual #soft and fine #sibling death tw #torture tw #wickedswriting #gaslighting tw #ch:Adam #into the fold two: surrender #chatzy

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offrankies · 5 years ago

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A Sky Full of Stars || Rio & Frankie

Timing: Before all the finale nonsense Parties: @3starsquinn & @offrankies Summary: After watching a tired Orion study for hours, Frankie decides to give him some company and some free fries.

Working at Al’s had proven to be easier than she’d expected. Sure, she still had trouble carrying trays that were filled with drinks since they weighed more than she was able to carry normally, and, sure, she still sometimes got an order mixed up and brought a salad to someone who asked for a monster burger; which meant that Frankie had to be on night shifts most of the time since there were less customers at 2am than 2pm. The night population of White Crest had turned out to be more interesting than she had expected. People with the strangest auras had walked in, and more than once she had been sure they had dropped bugs in her hair to annoy her. But, in all honesty, she didn’t mind one bit since everything was potential knowledge for her supernatural guide.

That one particular night had been exceptionally slow. There was a small group of drunken, middle aged friends that had very loudly told her they had reunited for their twenty years anniversary of finishing college who kept asking for beer after beer and the occasional plate of chicken wings. And then, on the opposite side and in a completely opposite mood, a young guy that looked around her age. He’d been there for over an hour, his food basically untouched. With a smile, she went behind the counter to grab an empty glass, filling it with lemonade, before walking towards him, setting the lemonade in front of him, but being careful of his books. “Sooo, your fries are probably cold by now. Want me to bring you more? On the house, of course.”

The Scribe Headquarters was starting to become less feasible for a night’s stay. Not that he had discounted it completely, but with roommates like Winston and Ricky, who actually made him feel welcome in their home, he didn’t really need to resort to old mattresses inside of an abandoned building tucked away magically in the woods. More and more he found himself less thrilled at the idea of staying there overnight during a big research night. Tonight, he took a detour for food before he headed back to his house. He had grabbed whatever he could from the Scribe headquarters, any journals from Scribes that talked about demons. He needed to find something soon before the cursed eye found a permanent home on Rio’s palm. He kept a wrap around the scar on his hand where that terrifying eye may open back up at any time. For now, Darwin had it. But Rio had no idea how long that may last.

Usually, Rio would have devoured the food from Al’s. When the waitress had brought him the food, he had taken a few bites from the fries before finding an especially intriguing entry from a former Scribe who had travelled all over Maine performing exorcisms. It didn’t end up turning into anything useful, but it was still an interesting read. He wasn’t sure how long he sat at the booth, his legs tucked up under his legs and books and stray pieces of paper scattered across the table. The only empty space was occupied by the plate of forgotten food. By the time the waitress came back around again, speaking and breaking him free from his focus. He jerked his head up, somehow missing that the girl had even come up next to him. He pulled the headphones from his ear, not so much using them for music as he did to try to drown out the noises coming from the other end of the restaurant. “Oh thank you so much! I’d love that.” He took a long drink from his lemonade, downing half the glass in one go. He had been surviving mostly on Monster’s and candy at the Scribe headquarters and could feel himself crashing. He either needed more sugar to get the rush going again or the waitress would come back soon to find him passed out on the table. “Do you serve energy drinks here?” Rio questioned, before snapping his fingers and changing his mind, “No! Wait a milkshake. Can I get a chocolate milkshake?” He tapped his fingers against the table in a rapid motion and closed the book he was currently reading and set it away. “Sorry- I know it probably looks like I’m a crazy person right now. But uh- I’ve just been up for like 20 hours or something. So more sleep deprived than anything else.”

Being nosy wasn’t exactly on Frankie’s personality traits list, but it would be a lie if she didn’t try to peek at what the guy was reading, curiosity getting the best of her. At first she had just assumed it was some college boy drowning before finals, but if that had been the case there would’ve been many other late night owls trying to do last minute cramming too. But whatever it was he was reading, it didn’t look like textbooks but rather just some old books. It looked pretty cool, and if her own experience with waitresses had taught her anything, is that they loved some good gossip. As he drank from his fresh lemonade - which, by the way, she’d had to refill once more - she carefully took the fries so none would fall on the open pages in front of him. “No problem. I need to keep the cook awake somehow.” A quick wink, before she listened once more, and she couldn’t contain the soft laugh that bubbled after his sudden change of mind. “Chocolate Milkshake it is. And, for future reference, we do not have energy drinks, but we have hella good coffee.”

The smile decorating her face widened, her cheeks pushing her eyes and slightly narrowing them as she listened him talk at full speed. He reminded her of herself when she started ranting about whatever was on her mind with total strangers, except Frankie never knew when to stop. “Not at all. If anything, those guys are the only crazy I’ve had to deal with tonight,” Her thumb pointed over her shoulder to the only other costumers, who seemed to be banging the table now as one of the crew chugged his beer. It also helped that his aura was super dim in comparison, the soft red mixed with turquoise a nice break from the bright, glowing yellow coming from the other side of the diner. “I didn’t want to interrupt you but you seemed like you needed a refill,” Since you’ve been sitting there practically not moving for a while, she almost added, but lip her lip to stop herself. With her chin, she motioned to his books and papers. “Watcha’ reading?”

The waitress was friendly, and much nicer to talk to than some of the people Orion ran into at restaurants late at night around town. He didn’t necessarily blame them. Most people that were out in the middle of the night tended to be drunk or shifty in their eyes. Rio just so happened to fall into that crowd. He noted the lack of energy drinks which was a bummer. He thanked her, deciding that it wasn’t worth it to let her know that he didn’t drink coffee. When there was a frustratingly loud noise, Rio glanced around the waitress and found the group loudly demanding another to chug by slamming their fists against the table. It was probably loud enough to normal people in the restaurant. For Rio, it was deafening. He cringed, rubbing his fingers against his ears in an attempt to drown out some of the noise. If he was less tired, he may be able to focus it out, but right now he didn’t have much energy left to expend.

At her question, Rio glanced around at the table, a conglomerated mess scattering all corners made Rio look like some crazed lunatic. Maybe that wasn’t too far off at this point. He had wasted some many hours of his day, avoided so much sleep completely devoted to researching these demons and visions. It was tiring. “You’re not interrupting at all, I really appreciate the refill,” Rio began, trying to figure out exactly how to explain the information sprawled out across the table. Any prolonged glance would show that not everything written in the texts was English. While some was Latin, a language Rio had been fluent in since middle school, most of it was some kind of ancient language, assumed to be demonic. He had not made much progress in translating those yet. “Summer classes.” Rio finally settled on, giving a troubled grin to the waitress and shrugging, “Occult studies class. Super interesting stuff but… a little creepy if I’m being honest. Right now I’m actually trying to learn some information about a cult that apparently operated right here in White Crest.”

Noticing that the group of men were annoying him, an apologetic smile replaced Frankie’s curious one, and she raised one finger in the guy’s direction as if asking for one second, before turning around back to the counter that served as a bar. From experience, she knew that the only way to calm down drunk men was to either give them more alcohol or give them something to canalize their energy into, like a football match on tv for the to scream to, but sadly, there were nothing on tv that late at night that could please them, so more drinks it was. Frankie’s eyes kept flying from the beers she was serving to the boy sitting alone and his books. Occult studies. That was interesting, and seemingly very on-brand with the theme this town had. After a few minutes and after bringing the beers with the check to the men who started howling and tried to convince her to talk to them, Frankie walked back to the other side of the diner, standing next to the table once again.

“Sorry, they’ll probably get louder but they should leave soon.” The last few words were spoken louder as she looked over her shoulder, and despite making it sound like she was annoyed with them, Frankie was actually laughing softly. She needed people like them to stay awake and not get bored during her shift, after all. “So, summer classes, huh. You go to college here?” Looking back at the kitchen once more to make sure the cook wasn’t watching, she slid on the seat in front of him. “Do you, uhm, mind if I take a look?” Her hand hovered on top of a book, and though she didn’t understand a word of what it said, it still looked very interesting. Cults. The mere idea of a cult being in town made her want to laugh again, Layla’s voice telling her that she should be careful in this town resonating in her head. “Hey, creepy is the best kind of interesting. Like, have you seen the X Files?” Looking at another book, she tried to read the title out loud, very slowly to try to get the pronunciation right but completely failing. “I think I just butchered that. What language is this? I know a little bit of french and this is definitely not french.”

The waitress disappeared for a moment and Rio glanced over a few moments later to see her taking more drinks over to the group. He smirked to himself, wondering if he had been obvious that the noise had bothered him. “Oh no worries at all, I appreciate the attempt. I don’t have claim over the restaurant or anything.” He shrugged, acting unbothered by the noise. It really wouldn’t bother him if he could get the hearing under control. Instead, certain instances or specific noises would catch him off guard. “I do! Majoring in history and computer science.” The waitress slid into the seat across from Rio and showed an increased interest in what he had been studying. He tried to take a quick assessment of her, to try to figure out exactly why she seemed so fascinated by the topics that Rio was reading. A fellow avid learner, maybe? Someone interested in the supernatural? Or someone that already knew about the supernatural and was trying to gauge how much Rio knew. Rio couldn’t be sure, not yet at least.

When she asked to take a look, Rio just nodded. “The X-Files terrified me. I was always fascinated by the stuff I read about it online but whenever I tried watching it I’d have nightmares for a week.” She read a piece aloud from a text, the pronunciation being off but the words not completely unintelligible. Some of the text that Rio found seemed to be some older type of demonic language translated by humans. It wasn’t easy to explain considering Rio wasn’t able to translate it himself and there was no easy way to explain that it was a completely unknown language. Rio laughed softly, “Definitely not French.” Rio spoke in French, a simple translation. He leaned over to take a look at the book that the waitress was looking at. “Hard to tell honestly.” He tapped his finger against his chin, trying to figure out exactly how to explain it to her without sounding completely insane. “I can see some hints of Latin in it. But most of it is just… nothing. If I had to guess, it was the attempt by some cult at creating their own mix of language to communicate with demons or spirits.” That was not Rio’s guess at all, but it certainly seemed more likely than being the actual language of a demon. “I’m uh- I’m Orion by the way. Or Rio. I go by whichever. It’s nice to meet you!”

Frankie’s hand made a vague gesture, as if telling him it was nothing. “It’s cool, serving drinks and food is only part of the job, I need to make sure all the clients are comfortable.” It had been, probably, the only thing she had been good at so far. Her eyes tried to pick up anything from all the words spread in front of her, but failed miserably. “Wow, double majoring? You must be a huge nerd.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Frankie had a hand flying to cover her mouth, eyes wide and her cheeks quickly flushing into a bright red. “I’m--- Sorry I didn’t mean that as an--- That was a compliment, actually---” Her words stumbled with each other, and she couldn’t find a way to apologize fast enough. The floor of the diner needed to hurry and swallow her already before she started blurting anymore embarrassing stuff to a guy she had just met. His aura didn’t seem to flicker at all, though, which could only mean he hadn’t been bothered by it. It helped her relax a little, and she took another piece of paper between her hands, trying to make some sense of it.

“That’s, uhm, so wild. When I moved in the last thing I expected to run into was a demonic cult. There was this girl back in Nashville that disappeared for like, a couple of weeks, everyone thought she had been kidnapped or had run away but turns out she had joined a satanic cult or something like that. I never understood it, honestly.” Eventually, she let go of the piece of paper, a silent acceptance that no matter how hard she tried, she wouldn’t spontaneously learn neither Latin or… whatever nonsense the cultists had invented. “Oh, right. I’m, uh--” And like a kid proud of a toy, she looked down to her name tag, and then looked back at him, a grin on her face as she pointed at it. “Frankie. Nice to meet you too, Rio.” And because she didn’t know when to shut up, she added. “Have you tried searching for the Orion constellation?”

Orion paused at being called a nerd. Not because the word had offended him, but because her response had stunned him. She had been so embarrassed that Rio had just stared at her for a long moment while she stumbled through explaining herself. Finally, Rio burst into laughter. It was louder than his usual laughter was, a sort of uncontrolled and hysteric chuckling that Rio did not usually allow himself. He could only blame it on the lack of sleep. “You don’t have to apologize for anything,” Rio finally spoke, wiping the tears from his eyes that had escaped during the laughter. “I do take that as a compliment. Plus, I’ve heard enough people say stuff like that intending for it to be taken as an insult that eventually you start figuring out when someone means something in a good or bad way.” That was too much information that this girl, Frankie, did not need to know. “Oh. Yikes. That’s scary, I hope she uh- got out of that cult.” Sounded dangerous. Rio had read enough about cults to know how they recruited people, but he couldn’t imagine himself ever being trusting enough to ever join one. Especially one like that. “So you’re not from around here, apparently? New to town?” It begged the question, why? Why are you here? Why anyone would come to this town would always baffle Rio. “Oh yeah. It’s usually pretty easy to pick out. And I’ve studied a lot of Greek Mythology so it’s cool to tie that in with the name of the constellations.”

Rio’s laugh made Frankie’s embarrassment even worse, her face lowkey burning. Well, at least he took the joke well, and the teen definitely could relate. She was lucky not to get bullied back in school partly because of the cheer squad and because of Layla, but most of her friends were absolutely trashed, and nerd was definitely on the list of worst things someone could be called. “Well, you’re the coolest nerd I’ve met so far, so those who tried to insult you can go suck on a lemon. And she was fine after a while. I mean, she had to do her freshman year again but that was better than the�� possibility, I guess.” Whatever that was. All she knew about cults was the little glimpses she had gotten from the very occasional and rare case she could see in the news, and stuff she had seen in tv shows. Not that she wanted to know more, really, her life had already turned confusing enough and adding cults would just make things worse. Leaning forward in the table, the teen rested her elbows and used one hand to support her face, eyes still looking at the scattered paper and open books. “Yeah, I moved in from Nashville a few weeks ago to, uh, be with my girlfriend.” Understatement of the year, but there was no other way to say she had tracked down her werewolf girlfriend after she vanished for a whole year without sounding like a complete lunatic. A humm left her lips, hazel eyes now fixated on the guy. “I always thoughts most constellations were related to the zodiac, you know, since many of them are… well, zodiac signs. I don’t really know much about them. I just liked stargazing when I was a kid and my grandma showed me a few.”

“You need to meet more nerds than.” Orion laughed again. In what alternate hell dimension would Rio ever be considered a cool nerd? There were others that deserved that title way more than himself. Winston, Blanche, Skylar. All three were way cool humans that also happened to be super smart. Rio was still trying to wrap his head around the idea that someone around Rio’s age would willingly move to White Crest when she mentioned the girlfriend. It made his face begin blushing and an awkward smile broke out across his face. “Sounds romantic.” Rio said, unsure if that was the right thing to say or not. Rio wasn’t exactly a guru on relationships. He had never even been in one before. “So you came here with no one else? Just your girlfriend?” Rio asked, before letting out a low whistle, “Woah. That’s… crazy brave.” Rio couldn't imagine how much courage that must take. “There’s this guy I know. I grew up with him sort of. I never really knew what having a crush meant growing up but looking back I… well it checked all the boxes. I still avoid him. On the college campus.” Rio facepalmed himself in embarrassment. He couldn’t believe he just said that. To a stranger. “Are you uh- Adjusting to town well?”

Astronomy had never been Rio’s passion or his forte, neither was stargazing. But he knew enough about greek mythology to have dipped his toes in astronomy. “You're right! A lot of them are related to the zodiac. The zodiac signs actually come from Greek mythology. In fact, zodiac comes from the Greek word zōdiacus which roughly means the cycle of animals.” Frankie had unknowingly opened a can of worms that Rio wasn’t sure he could close back up. “All of the zodiac signs correspond to living creatures. Well except Libra, which is ironically my sign. But anyways, each of the constellations usually relate back to some story from Greek or Roman mythology. Like Leo is tied to Hercules and his labor’s. Hercules skinned a lion and wore it’s pelt, making him practically invincible. Or ScorpioScorpio, who actually has ties to Orion. There’s been a lot of different stories about Orion the hunter. Some say he was put up into the sky by the Goddess Artemis who loved him, others say that he was put up there as punishment for being too boastful. With scorpio eternalized for killing him.” Once Rio finally shut up he realized how dry his mouth had become. This wasn’t an uncommon problem when Rio got on one of his soap boxes. He took a drink from the lemonade that Frankie had brought him and scratched at his neck nervously, “Sorry I uh- get passionate.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong. Frankie definitely needed to meet more friends, whether they were nerds or not. Letting out a soft humm, she tapped her lips for a moment as she thought out loud. “I wouldn’t say we came together? I came to this town because she was here.” Brave was definitely one way to describe it. Frankie would always believe it had been her only choice and the right thing to do, whilst her mom kept repeating on the phone that it had been the dumbest and childish idea she ever had. Shrugging, she rested her cheek on her palm once more, listening to his story, letting out a laugh when he covered his face. “That sounds too far from how I realized I liked liked Layla- that’s my girlfriend. We were best friends for ages, and one day we were watching Buffy and she said something that made me look, I don’t remember what honestly, but I just, I kept looking at her instead of the tv and just… kinda knew, yanno?” There were few things Frankie could go on about for hours: math, the meaning behind colors, and how she would follow Layla to hell if she asked her to. Though from recent events maybe she had done that already.

Pursing her lips, she looked at the ceiling as if thinking, before looking back at him with a shrug. “Town’s alright. Definitely not Nashville, but I never was a big city girl anyways.” Meaning, she liked the quietness and the considerable lower number of people on the streets that potentially gave her anxiety attacks. The human listened in silence as Rio rambled, a wide smile creeping in the longer he spoke. In another life where she weren’t a raging lesbian, and in different circumstances that involved not noticing the flaming aura that got more intense as he spoke, she would’ve even found him cute. “Don’t you dare apologize, Orion, trapped by Artemis.” Though she hated feeling like she was taking up his study time, he also looked like he desperately needed a break. After winking at him, she stretched slightly and moved out of the booth, standing in front of him once more. “I will go get you that chocolate milkshake, and maybe you can tell me Sagittarius’ story in return?”

Orion listened intently to the story, fascinated by how this girl had the courage to just pick up her life and move somewhere completely new all to be with her girlfriend. Rio wasn’t sure he would have the courage to do that if he was married to the person moving. But Frankie was fearless, clearly. And Rio could learn a thing or two about taking chances, if his own personal life was any indication. Plus- Wait did she just say Layla? “Hold on- Layla? This may be too much of a coincidence… but like Layla, redhead, born to play Cherry Valance in a remake of The Outsiders, Layla? I know her. Really well actually she’s a friend of mine.” Woah. Rio had heard about a girlfriend, but had no idea that the girlfriend had shown up to town. Admittedly the two hadn’t talked a lot recently. Just with how busy things were with the demons stuff, Rio had turned pretty anti-social.

“Oh good. Well I’m glad you’re not annoyed. I tend to drag on like that a lot so please feel free to cut me off.” He had to admit, it was really nice getting to have a conversation with someone about something other than this demon stuff. He had spent so much time with Winston lately, which was amazing as always because he thought that Winston was the coolest person in the entire world, but with Frankie they didn’t talk about the demons or bodies of water at all. It was just a normal conversation, with a nice person. It was a nice change of pace. “Right well, Thanks for grabbing me the milkshake! And please feel free to hang out. It looks pretty boring in here right now. I can’t tell if you’re joking or not but I can totally tell you about Sagittarius . Spoiler alert, he’s a Centaur.

Hearing him describe her girlfriend made Frankie perk up, eyebrows raising in surprise. “Yep, that sounds like her alright. They say it’s a small world but damn, this town is smaller than I thought.” Coincidences like these never happened back home; and she guessed it was highly likely that Rio knew every other teen or anyone in their early twenties she had met so far. The thought made her smile, and she shoved both hands inside her uniform’s pockets. “Maybe we can do like a double date thingy if you ever decide to stop avoiding your college mate.” Was it alright to joke with something like that? She had never been too good at social situations despite her extroverted nature thanks to her anxiety.

“Oh God no, I love hearing people. I suck at talking so I love when I can just sit back and listen. Besides that’s super interesting and cool. If anything I’m sorry I’m distracting you from your, uh-” She gestured at the table in general. “-- cult investigation.” Maybe if he didn’t mind, she could even ask him about college, considering this was for a summer class. And maybe, if she was lucky, she could get to know him enough to investigate why his aura didn’t seem to flicker away from the red. He didn’t seem like a bad person in the slightest, which only made her wonder deeper why her grandma had warned her so much about them. “Not joking at all. I’m looking forward to meet this centaur boy.” And before leaving, she pointed at the food and said. “Eat your fries before I do!”

#3starsquinn #p: rio #❪ ⋅ ⋆ —— ❛ para ❜ ❫#wickedswriting #A Sky Full of Stars #// aka ty sunny for the title #// take some wholesome

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ramseyandrys · 6 years ago

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Headcanon: Ethan and MC’s Children

Alright, I’m not going to lie. I teared up a few times while writing this, but, not to worry, it’s all fluff. I hope y’all enjoy this little fic about Ethan and my MC Tilly. If you do, you can read more of my stuff here. Please let me know if you want to be tagged in the future!

Get those adorable scrubs here!

Tag List: @x-kyne-x @lilyofchoices @universallypizzataco @perriewinklenerdie

Parker Naveen Ramsey is born on March 4th. His birth goes as well as births do, and he’s born weighing 7.3 pounds. When asked to describe him, all Ethan can say is, “Perfect.”

Tilly bets Ethan their son’s first word will be Mama. Ethan insists he’s above childish bets, but, when a first edition medical book is added into the mix, he bets Tilly their son’s first word will be Dada.

On a snowy morning, little Parker says his first word. Tilly is drinking hot chocolate in the armchair in front of their fireplace, and Ethan is sitting on the floor, playing with Parker. They’re building a castle out of large blocks. When Ethan accidentally knocks the castle down with his elbow, Parker lets out a whiny, “Dada!”

As Parker grows into a toddler, Ethan and Tilly realize just how full their hands are. Parker, like most children, is a curious little thing. One day, Tilly brings him to work to surprise Ethan on his birthday. She puts Parker down to talk to Elijah, and he toddles off down the hall. Tilly briskly follows him, but Parker takes off running when he sees Ethan talking to Naveen. “Dada! Pop pop!” Yes, Naveen is Pop Pop much to his delight. Ethan catches his son in his arms and picks him up. He kisses his cheek as Tilly watches, her heart full.

Parker goes to most of the most prestigious preschools in Boston. He’s been enrolled there ever since he was two days old thanks to Ethan.

On Parker’s first day of preschool, Tilly cries. Much to Ethan’s chagrin, he lets out a few tears as well. Parker, on the other hand, is buzzing with energy and looking forward to making new friends.

Parker’s a talkative, extroverted child and occasionally gets in trouble with his preschool teacher. “He’s smart but my God is he chatty,” she says to Ethan and Tilly one day.

When Parker is four, Tilly finds out she’s pregnant again. It’s a shock. She and Ethan agreed on having just one child, but, when she tells him, he’s thrilled.

Tilly and Ethan wait until she’s fourteen weeks along to tell Parker. When Ethan tells the four-year-old, he’s going to be a big brother, Parker isn’t particularly excited. Mainly, he’s confused and has a lot of questions.

“Where’s the baby now?”

“In my tummy.”

“Did you eat him?!”

Thankfully, Parker warms up to the idea of being a big brother. Every person he runs into, he has to tell them his mommy’s having his little brother or sister.

Eli (e-lie) Noelle Ramsey is born on December 24th. Parker is, at first, a bit resentful his little sister hijacked Christmas, but, when he sees her, he’s wrapped around her little finger.

Just like her brother, Eli’s first word is Dada.

It’s not long after Eli’s first birthday, Tilly and Ethan realize how different she is from their son. She’s quieter than Parker was at that age and is content sitting in her daddy’s lap while he reads to her from various medical journals. Tilly suggests he read her Dr. Seuss, but Ethan loves the fact his daughter is probably the only one-year-old on Earth who can say arachnoiditis.

Parker likes to read to his little sister too, but he likes playing with her even more. Tilly always stresses Parker needs to be careful with Eli because she’s still a baby, but Parker’s a five-year-old boy. One day, Parker’s chasing a giggling Eli around the house when Eli trips and falls. She starts crying, and Tilly rushes in the living room from the kitchen where she was making sandwiches. She scoops Eli up in her arms. “Mommy, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!” Parker cries. Tilly looks down at Eli’s knee and realizes it’s bleeding.

“It’s okay, buddy,” Tilly says to Parker. “Can you go get the first aid kit under mine and Daddy’s sink please?” Parker nods and runs off. Tilly kisses Eli’s cheek and tries to comfort the sobbing baby.

Parker watches in awe as Tilly cleans Eli’s wound and puts a bandage over it. It’s then Parker decides he wants to be just like his mommy when he grows up.

That Halloween, Parker’s a doctor but not just any doctor. He’s Dr. Tilly Ramsey, complete with her authentic name badge. He wants Eli to be his “patient”, but she prefers to be a bumblebee.

When it comes to discipline, Ethan is the strict parent, and Tilly is the pushover.

Of course, sometimes, Ethan can be just as much of a pushover especially when it comes to Eli. All Eli has to do is bat her light green eyes at Ethan, and he’s putty in her hands. She’s gotten a lot of Barbies that way.

When Eli is six, she decides that she wants to be a lawyer. She not-so-briefly goes through a phase where she carries a gavel and yells, “Objection!” to anything her big brother says.

Parker, on the other hand, is still determined to be a doctor. He loves to go to Edenbrook with his parents, but Tilly and Ethan have to keep an eye on him in case he decides to go “treat” patients.

At home, Parker begs his parents to let him practice taking their blood. Once, he even asks Eli to be his patient in exchange for a Barbie. She agrees but not before she gets a written contract first.

Of course, neither Ethan nor Tilly will give Parker access to any syringes, given that he’s eleven, but, when Eli gets a cold, Parker has his very first patient.

Ethan patiently explains to Parker how cold medicine works and even lets him pour it himself. Parker also makes sure Eli has a steady supply of tissues, lozenges, and Barbie movies. Her favorite? The Nutcracker. Even in April.

When Ethan and Tilly walk in on Parker reading his little sister Oh, The Places You’ll Go, they‘re reminded, once again, just how lucky they are.

#playchoices #choices #choices headcanon #open heart headcanon #choices fanfiction #open heart fanfiction #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc

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angel-tries-to-write · 6 years ago

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Heartbroken

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Rating: Mature Pairing: Ezio Auditore x fem!reader Word count: 3889 Genre: mostly fluff with a slight of hurt/comfort, smutty in the latter part

Your childhood friend Ezio shows up to your doorstep completely heartbroken. You try to cheer him up, because that’s what a friend would do. A friend that may or may not have a massive crush on the other.

A/N: It was supposed to be a nice, short fic, but it has almost 4k words! I was inspired by the end of relationship with Caterina Sforza (though wiki made it appear more dramatic than it really was). I don’t speak Italian, so if there’s something wrong, I’m terribly sorry. Also it gets a bit smutty later, so be warned. I have a few ideas for the sequel, so if anyone would be interested, just let me know.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, you had a free night. All for yourself, no need to go out and work, which you liked, but not necessarily in this weather. You preferred to enjoy the rain from your warm home and you were currently doing that. You were sitting by the fireplace in your nightgown, with a book that your best friend recommended you. She always had a good taste, which was probably why she was in a secret relationship with your childhood friend, Ezio Auditore. He was a wonderful man, you never doubted it, no matter what was told about him.

You’ve been out of town when this happened. The betrayal of the Auditore. You wished so bad you could’ve been there for Ezio when he needed you, but your mother said that you could’ve been killed if you were in Florence back then. Besides you didn’t know the truth at first, though you couldn’t believe that the Auditore could be traitors. Your family was friends with them and you knew them all your life. They were good people. Your doubts were gone a few months later, when you felt on your own skin what Ezio’s gone through. Your father had been arrested and then executed, like the Auditore before. He was accused of collaborating with Giovanni, but luckily they took only him, you and your mother were safe for long enough to leave Florence. The night your father was taken, you’ve found his journal in your bed. He knew they were coming for him, so he did all he could to make sure the truth is safe. You’ve learned that he found out that the Auditore were betrayed, you’ve learned about Assassins and Templars, a conflict your father tried to stay away from and failed, then you decided to act. You left your mother in Milan, where your older brother lived, and you found Ezio in Venice. He promised to train you in exchange for help and here you were now, a true Assassin and his biggest help.

But even superheroes need rest, so as soon as you’ve reached your current home, you decided to leave your mission for tomorrow. A bath and fire’s warmth helped your muscles to relax and after a few chapters of your book, your eyes started to close. Your little nap was interrupted by strong knocking to the door. Your first feeling was fear, but it was quickly gone when you heard the voice calling your name. You knew it very well and you loved it. As well as the person who it belonged to. You put the book aside and approached the door to open it.

“May I come in?” asked Ezio, as soon as he saw your face. He didn’t look good and it wasn’t only because he was soaking in the rain.

“Why do you even ask, the answer never changes” you smiled, moving aside to let him in. “What do you need?” you asked when he entered and you closed the door. You watched him take off his wet robes, armor and weapon. It meant he was planning to stay for a while, maybe even for the night. Not that you minded.

“I don’t know” he answered and you heard a sadness in his voice. You didn’t need trained senses to know something was wrong.

“Ezio, what happened?” you asked, very concerned. You would die for him, you didn’t want him to be sad either.

“(Your name), I… it is about (Your best friend’s name )” he confessed after a moment of silence and you felt cold crawling down your spine and your (eyes color) eyes widened. (Y/bf/n) was your best friend, you two were like sisters. You couldn’t imagine what would you do if something happened to her.

“Is something wrong with her? Is she in trouble? Did someone hurt her?” you came so close to the man in front of you, that you could see every detail of his pretty face you already knew by heart. But it didn’t matter now, you needed to know what happened to your friend.

“She is fine, nothing is wrong” he calmed you. “It is about what she did.”

You let out a long sigh of relief. Your friend was safe, you had nothing to be afraid of. The rest could wait for now.

“Bene allora (Alright then). Go take a bath, relax a little and get warm, I will make some food and find a good wine” you decided and Ezio replied with a small smile. He did as he was told and when the food was ready and you realized you’re starving because you forgot to eat today, he came back in fresh clothes you always kept for him. He had some for you in his place and you were in the same terms with (y/bf/n), that was how friendship worked.

“I’m a bit better now, grazie (thanks)” said the assassin, moving his damp hair aside and you smiled. A hot bath after running in the rain was always good. He joined you by the table and you two ate while talking about some funny stuff. But after you moved to the couch, you felt it was time to find what happened between the two of your friends.

“So? Do you need a shoulder to cry on, or do you need more wine first?” you teased. He could be very emotional after too much alcohol and you both knew it.

“Molto divertente (Very funny)” the man replied sarcastically and took a sip of wine. You occasionally teased each other and if he wasn’t taken already, you could’ve sworn sometimes that he was flirting with you.

“Tell me what is wrong” you asked and held his hand.

“I need more wine first” he said emptying his cup and pouring himself more. You waited patiently, no rush or pressure, though you were dying to know all the story.

“Take your time. I don’t think you would be going anywhere soon” you stated firmly, in case he wanted to disagree. Climbing the buildings while being drunk was a terrible idea.

“Even if I had to, you would not let me out” he forced a small smile. “You were always so good (y/n) and you cared about me.”

“Ezio, what do you-”

“She said I never meant anything to her. That she wanted me for fun and to learn some things. Now that she got what she wanted, she did not need me anymore” he continued, ignoring your interruption.

“Che puttana (What a bitch)” you swore, unwillingly saying it out loud.

“I thought you were friends” Ezio was clearly surprised.

“We are, but it does not mean she can hurt my other friend. What was she thinking? I’m totally going to kick her ass when I see her” you snapped angrily.

“Don’t do this. She does not deserve it” he protested, emptying his cup again and putting it away. “But thanks.”

“She deserves everything. How dared she to hurt you like this? She knew very well what does she mean to you, she had no right to act like this.”

“(Y/n), you can’t kick your best friend’s butt just because she does not reciprocate my feelings” the assassin was even slightly amused. “It is (y/bf/n)’s every right to not have feelings for me.”

“Ezio, mio caro (my dear), you are as important to me as she was until this moment. If you were the one who hurt her, I would kick your butt in a heartbeat” you answered. No one would hurt your friends, not even your other friends.

“Thank you, amica (friend)” he said, hugging you. “I could stay like this all night” he added after a while.

“That can be arranged” you replied and you leaned against the cushions, pulling him onto you. His head lied on your chest and he closed his eyes, listening to your heartbeat. You two lied like that for a while, you started to play with his loosened hair you liked so much. “At least you might notice something aside her now. If you only knew… I wish I could tell you everything” you whispered, pretty sure he was asleep.

“What everything?” he asked quietly.

“Niente (Nothing). I was talking to myself” you blurted out. It was a terrible excuse, but you couldn’t come up with anything better. Ezio felt you tense so he lift his head to look you in the eyes.

“È così (Is that so)? Because I have heard something different” he said smirking and your already pink cheeks reddened even more. At least his sadness was gone now, its place took mischief. “I have heard you want me. I have not believed it at first but I am not sure anymore.”

“Who told you that? And why would you even think like that?” you were a blushy mess and unbeknownst to you, he found it adorable.

“Why would I think like what?” he clearly teased you. He wanted you to say it out loud. Fine, if he wanted to play, you could play along.

“That I want you” you answered shamelessly like it was nothing. Except for your furiously red face, rapid pulse and heavy breathing.

“You are telling me that. With all your body. You are blushing hard, you can not breathe, you have goosebumps and that are only the obvious things” his eyes ogled your body in a way you didn’t expect. Suddenly you felt an urge to grab a blanket and cover yourself despite being fully clothed. You felt naked under this look, you could’ve sworn he was already undressing you in his mind.

“I-I think you have drank too much w-wine” you stuttered, trying to hide that you were scared. You’ve dreamed of this moment but when it finally came, nothing was like you imagined it.

“(Y/bf/n) told me that if I will be sad after our breakup I can always have you, because you are head over heels for me. Is this true?” he forced you to look in his eyes. You could’ve lied to him, but not after this much wine, when your body did what it wanted to and reacted so strongly to his actions.

“No” you said softly. “It is just a little crush, nothing much” you tried to brush it off. It wasn’t the truth, but it also wasn’t a lie.

“Is it?” he moved closer towards you, his lips almost touched yours.

“Ezio, you are drunk” you put your hands on his shoulders, but you didn’t push him away.

“Anche tu (So are you).”

“But not enough to lose my common sense” you moved one hand to his cheek. You wanted to kiss him so bad, your body burned with desire, but you knew it wouldn’t end good. You didn’t want to lose years of friendship for a one night. Even if it was your dream.

“Are you afraid of me? Do you think I want to use you the same way (y/bf/n) used me?” he asked, pulling away to look at you.

“No. I am afraid that this might ruin us and our friendship” you confessed. You’ve never been scared of him and through all these years you’ve known him for, you’ve seen a lot. You could handle him at his worst, maybe then you deserved to have him at his best?

“Non lo farà (It won’t). Look, I know it is pretty awkward, cause we know each other since we were little. But I always had a soft spot for you. I often wondered what would happen if we were together. To be honest, I even expected our fathers would arrange a marriage for us when the time comes. But then all of this happened, our fathers are gone and everything started to depend on us and you did not seem to be interested, so I never pushed. Then I fell into (y/bf/n) and I was too blind to see that you are interested” he said and brushed aside a strand of your (hair color) hair.

“Are you telling me that you had a crush on me? And you still had been sleeping with my best friend who is married, unlike me?” you asked, your voice revealed that it hurt you. It also didn’t make any sense, why would he say something like that? And why now?

“It is all fucked up, I know. And I would probably neither tell you that nor act like that if I was sober. But I am not and all I want right now is you” he admitted, burying his face in your neck. You shivered visibly when you felt his breath on your sensitive skin.

“Ezio, you know I would do anything for you, but this? This is madness. I do not want you to sleep with me just to feel better after breakup” you protested. You wanted this, even needed, but you also wanted it to be meaningful. You didn’t want to be a one night stand, a mere cheer-up. You needed something more.

“I do not” he purred in a voice so low that you let out a small moan you didn’t manage to silence. “I want to sleep with you because I really want it. I just need to know that you want me too.”

“I do” you choked. “But I am scared” you whispered, cursing your sudden honesty. If you truly wanted him to stop, you could’ve knock him out and leave. The problem was that you were torn between what you wanted and what was right.

“Di me (Of me)?”

“I would never be scared of you, stupido” you smiled relaxing a little. “It’s just…”

“Dimmi (Tell me)” he pleaded, but suddenly a realization hit him and you felt him freeze. “You are a virgin” he more stated than asked as he pulled back to look at you and if your face could be any redder it would be now. You couldn’t look him in the eye, even though it was no shame in it.

“That is not a problem, but… Well, when I was younger, I wanted to wait for the right person. And later, when all this… war started… I was just too busy to think about it. Then I fell into you and stuff got complicated even more” you confessed, finally admitting your feelings. “But it’s not what scares me the most.”

“(y/n) look at me” Ezio required so quiet, that you wouldn’t hear it if you weren’t so close. You barely manged to do as he told you, too embarrassed to relax. “Do not be ashamed. I am not going to laugh at you. I asked, because I want you to be comfortable. If you let me, I will make this night the best you have ever had” he promised.

“I always knew you are a romantic one, but never thought you are this cheesy” you joked drinking more wine and Ezio laughed.

“That’s my girl” he praised you. “So, what do you want me to do?”

You put your cup aside and took a deep breath.

“I want you to shut up. I am gonna take a leap of faith” you answered and you kissed him hard, just like you wanted it now. It was nothing like a romantic and awkward first kiss you dreamed of, it was hot and passionate and needy. You felt his hands on your body and you no longer resisted. You wanted this, you wanted him and you were going to take what you wanted.

Suddenly you felt him lift you. He stood up, desperately trying to stay straight, which was difficult while being drunk. You looked at him with curiosity.

“I want it to be done properly” he answered your silent question, carrying you to your bedroom. “Besides your couch is uncomfortable” he complained and you laughed.

“Just don’t drop me then” you smiled. He did, in fact, drop you and you were angry at first, but you quickly realized you landed on your bed and it just made you laugh. Ezio laughed too and when your eyes met, you’ve seen in his something you never expected to see. He looked at you with adoration so big like you were the only girl in the world. You always wanted to have someone who would look at you like that, but you never had anyone. And now you did.

“What?” he asked softly, noticing the delight in your eyes.

“I am just glad I have you and we finally make my dream come true” you said quietly and he smiled. The man leaned down to kiss you and you immediately started to work on taking off his shirt. He helped you, so soon you could admire his upper body and there was a lot to admire. You broke the kiss to look at him and trace your fingers down every scar he had. Many of them you helped to treat. They reminded you of your own scars, which you were always ashamed of, but not in front of Ezio. He’d already seen all of them and you had seen his. He made a soft noise when you kissed a scar very close to his neck. Your lips quickly found the way to his sensitive spot and you stopped to think completely. The only thing that mattered was your assassin. Yours, and no one else’s.

He removed your nightgown, you took his pants off. Now was the time to get nervous, but you would notice you weren’t even a little scared, if you only paid attention to it. Besides, you trusted him with your life, you were able to trust him with your body. And he was taking care of you so well, that you couldn’t even think of stress, as well as anything else. He was kissing and touching your body, you weren’t even shy about the scars, the way you looked in general and that this was the first time a man was touching you like that. You felt very comfortable and you trusted him boundlessly.

You always heard that the first time hurts, there has to be pain and blood, and it’s not really pleasant. You were very lucky then, because you didn’t feel even a little pain when he finally slid inside you. Sure, it was a new feeling, you felt a slight discomfort at first, but no pain at all, just pleasure. You were prepared very well and he was so gentle and careful, so that wasn’t surprising. He really wanted it to be the best night of your life, so it was. Every stroke was bringing you closer and closer, you were discovering new feelings every second and even though you were usually insecure about new things, you weren’t then. You heard your partner say something into your neck, but you couldn’t understand a single word, yet the tone of his voice did its job. You reached your orgasm and the whole world was gone.

When it came back, it was morning and you had an uncomfortable hangover. You didn’t know what happened at first, then you saw your friend next to you and you shivered, feeling all the memories come back. You weren’t sure how many times did you do that, maybe once, maybe more. But then was the time to find out how things were going to be.

“Ciao, bella (Hello, beautiful)” Ezio’s raspy voice brought you back to the reality. You looked at him and saw the very same look you’ve seen last night. That couldn’t be a coincidence. “How do you feel?” he asked and you knew he really cared.

“Bene (Good). Actually never felt better” you answered, actually meaning that. “And you?”

“I feel like we wasted so much time. We should have done this way earlier” he said, kissing your forehead and his arm snaked around your waist, pulling you closer. You cuddled comfortably into his chest.

“You would not have appreciated it then” you smiled, feeling even happier.

“Forse (Perhaps). I realized I did not know how big difference it is when what you do is meaningful. You did not want to be a cheer-up, but I feel cheered up” he admitted with a soft laugh. “And I definitely want it to happen again, we should-”

“Ezio.”

“Si (Yes)?”

“Ti amo (I love you).”

You’ve never seen him this stunned before. But there was a valid reason: you’ve never said these words before. At least not in front of him. No wonder he was surprised.

“Ti amo anch'io, amica mia (I love you too, my friend)” he said, but quickly realized it came out wrong. “No, wait. I didn’t mean it like that, I mean-” you silenced him with a kiss.

“I know. But we can be both friends and lovers” you chuckled.

“I like that” Ezio smiled and you thought you were the luckiest woman in the whole Italy, if not the world, because you had this smile all for yourself. “Now I know why did it feel so different, but in a good way” he quickly added. “Like… it was meaningful. Not just for fun, although it was fun and-” he started to mess up even more, so you showed mercy and kissed him, making the poor man shut up again.

“I would never tell you can stumble over your own words in front of a girl” you teased. “What happened to your usual charm?”

“You are not just a random girl” he protested. “You are special. And this is a serious relationship.”

“Va bene (Alright), Mr. Smooth, how about we get up and make some breakfast?” you asked. “I am hungry.”

“How about no” his hand slid down your butt. “We will make some love now and then I will make you breakfast. Fair enough?”

“Not really, but I like that” you moved closer and kissed him. You’ve never been more happy before. You’ve always been scared of even the thought that you could sleep with your friend and now you knew it was the best idea ever.

Unfortunately your peace was interrupted by a strong knocking to the door. Looked like someone didn’t want you to stay in bed for too long.

“Can’t you pretend you are sleeping?” Ezio suggested, kissing your neck.

“Nice try. Now let me go, it is probably something important” you lightly slapped his hand. The man groaned, but let you go, then watched you quickly put on your nightgown and assassin’s robes as extra cover. You went to open the door, hoping that it’s not something important and you can go back to bed quickly. On the other side of your door stood Antonio, which meant it was important.

“(y/n)! We need to talk” he said and you’d seen it was something big. You didn’t say a word, but you let him in. “I will be quick: we have found out that (y/bf/n)’s husband is a Templar.”

“What about her?” you asked, fearing the worst.

“We don’t know. But we need to eliminate the man. Have you seen Ezio last night or do you by chance know where he is?” Antonio asked and you sighed. There was no reason to keep that secret.

“Un momento (One moment)” you excused and headed to the bedroom. “Get up, babe. We have a work to do.”

#assassin's creed #ezio auditore x reader #ezio x reader #ezio auditore #my fic

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salvatoreschool · 6 years ago

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Legacies EP on Hope's Latest Sacrifice and Vardemus' Jaw-Dropping Reveal — Plus, Find Out Who's Visiting Freya

Thursday’s Legacies revealed that someone at the Salvatore School is not who they appear to be — which is saying a lot, considering a good portion of the student body is made up of literal werewolves.

While Lizzie and Hope battled their way through an alternate reality based on the hits of the 1980s (killing a minotaur in the process!), their fellow classmates navigated a different type of battlefield at the Salvatore School’s ’80s decade dance. Most notably, Josie and Landon almost had sex for the first time, though Josie pumped the brakes when she discovered a song Landon wrote for Hope in Penelope’s magical spy journal. (That thing just keeps coming in handy, doesn’t it?)

Meanwhile, Sebastian tricked Wade into freeing his physical body from its tomb of desiccation (no thanks to MG and Kaleb), and Headmaster Vardemus was revealed to be — wait for it — Clarke in disguise!

Below, executive producer (and this episode’s co-writer) Brett Matthews breaks down the week’s biggest twists, from Vardemus‘ Buffy-esque reveal to Josie’s impending meeting with… Freya Mikaelson?

TVLINE | This was one of those episodes that proves Legacies can get away with anything. Where did the inspiration for the video game world come from?

I wrote the episode with Thomas Brandon, and we’re both kids of the ’80s. As soon as we knew we were doing a decade dance, we thought, “This is the era we’re most comfortable with.” And once that concept crystalized, we tried to infuse the episode with as much of it as possible. Evan Warner, who cut the episode and is a brilliant editor on our show, really pushed the video game aspect of it. Between him and Barbara Brown — who has directed some wonderful episodes of ours, including the musical one last year — we just really went for it. A lot of the stuff skews more towards movies of the ’80s, and that’s because Thomas and I are products of that. We’re in this business because of the movies we saw in the ’80s as kids.

TVLINE | Plus, the game gave Hope and Lizzie perfect outfits for the dance.

Yes. Actually, this was all a long ploy to get Matt Davis into an Indiana Jones outfit. The world needed to see that.

TVLINE | And we thank you for it. Hope and Lizzie made for an interesting pair. What made Lizzie the perfect person to remember Hope first?

The perfect person is often the worst person, right? We asked ourselves, “Who is in the most complicated and interesting scenario if they remember first?” Given everything that’s going on between Josie and Landon, Lizzie was the perfect person. Hope is her frenemy and she has an allegiance to her sister, so putting Lizzie right in the middle of that scenario just felt right.

TVLINE | I love that they hugged at the end. Any chance for that friendship — or at least that truce — to stick?

I think so. I think they’re friends. They’re combative and whatever, but that’s just high school. In my mind, they’ve always been friends, but they’re reluctant to admit it. I’ve enjoyed watching the evolution of that relationship, and it’s one that will continue to evolve.

TVLINE | I’m into the idea of Hope and Rafael. Any chance we’ll explore that relationship now that Hope is letting Josie and Landon do their thing?

It’s complicated. Raf does have feelings for Hope, and in a world where Hope is seemingly free and available, he would want to explore that, of course. The question going forward will be whether she can truly move on from Landon. That will take place over the course of the next few episodes.

TVLINE | Take me inside Josie’s head. Is she worried Landon is developing new feelings for Hope, or is she just starting to put the pieces together?

She’s starting to put the pieces together. It’s very much on the front of Josie’s mind, and it’s something she feels she needs to get to the bottom of. Heading into the next episode, you may see Josie go as far as to New Orleans to solve this burning question. (Editor’s note: I guess we’ve finally ID’d the person Freya was talking to in that first-look photo!)

TVLINE | Switching gears, are we to assume that Vardemus has really been Clarke this whole time?

Yes, he has!

TVLINE | I was pretty shocked by that. Were there hints I missed along the way?

Pretty shocking, right? It’s something we’ve known all along, and there was the occasional breadcrumb, but the reality is that Clarke has done a good job infiltrating the school. His plan will be laid bare over the next couple of episodes. In our minds, you’ve never met the real Vardemus, only Clarke.

TVLINE | Does he have the power to absorb people like Malivore?

Well, what do we know about Clarke? We know he’s, in fact, the son of Malivore. Why he’s in the state he’s in, as well as what that state exactly is, will be a question that gets answered in the very short term.

TVLINE | Another person I don’t trust is Sebastian. Will he harbor a grudge against MG and Kaleb for not helping him?

I think Sebastian harbors a grudge against the modern world. That’s really his story. The fun of this character is that he’s a vampire that’s kind of from the old show; Sebastian and Damon Salvatore would have had beers and been totally cool. The world has changed so much, in many ways for the better, but it’s also gotten worse in other ways. He’s sort of a character from The Vampire Diaries, but the world has shifted under his feet. What it means to be a vampire on this show is not what it used to mean in The Vampire Diaries. This show is not a gothic romance, but Sebastian is ripped from that world, so his frustrations lie in the modern world. That’s something we’ll dive into. You’ll learn a lot about Sebastian, including where he comes from and why he feels the way he does about the world.

TVLINE | And will any of that involve him continuing his relationship with Lizzie?

A lot of it will. That’s going to be a really important relationship this season. They have amazing chemistry, and Thomas Doherty is a pleasure to work with. We��ll find out how he really feels about her, as well as how she really feels about him. Lizzie’s very conflicted about what he means to her and to her mental health.

Your thoughts on this week’s Legacies? Did anyone else get Buffy vibes (“Ben is Glory, Glory is Ben!”) from that big Vardemus reveal? Whatever’s on your mind, drop it in a comment below.

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potterandpreferences · 6 years ago

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Sugar and Spice

@shydinosaurcreator I don't actually write smut but I felt bad not answering, so I played with the request to make a fairly sfw oneshot with some dom/sub undertones and implied smut at the end. I hope you like it all the same!

There were some days when Remus Lupin was convinced he was dating a perpetual child. At 18 years old, he rather thought that his boyfriend should have calmed down somewhat, or have learnt enough in the seven years they'd been at Hogwarts to not get caught after setting off one of his ridiculous pranks. Alas, Sirius liked the attention of the school cohort a little too much, and thus found himself once again in detention. This time it was with their Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, no doubt to give the other professors a break.

With James off somewhere with Lily, and Peter hanging out with Alice and Frank, Remus found himself at something of a loose end. He supposed he ought to study - N.E.W.Ts were just weeks away, and there was a lot of material to cover. However, he found himself unable to concentrate on revision and reluctant to work on any outstanding assignments, not when he had the beginnings of a headache. Instead, he opted to retreat to his dormitory, thinking that perhaps a lie down would make him feel better. He settled himself on top of the duvet, the June weather making it much too hot to wrap himself up in the blankets, and tried to get comfy. A few minutes of shifting around later, and Remus discovered something about his boyfriend that he'd never known before.

Beneath the pillows was a diary. Of course, he didn't know it was a diary at first. It looked like a textbook, which was why he investigated the book further because as described, it only looked like a textbook. Remus could feel the trace of charm work on the supposedly hardback book.

Sitting up, back resting against the headboard, Remus investigated further cautiously, not knowing what spells had been placed upon the object. Knowing his roommates, this could be a prank item. It wasn't as though they didn't prank each other occasionally. Pulling his wand out, he waved it methodically over the book, the patterns following the order of spells he tried. Revelio was followed by Aparecium. This was proceeded by Finite incantatem, which took care of the final enchantments. A plain leather bound journal was revealed, no markings on either the front or back covers to indicate who it belonged to, or indeed what it was. Carefully, and fully expecting some backlash, Remus flicked through the pages, stopping at a random page. His quick glance was enough to tell him that the book belonged to Sirius, but it wasn't until he started skimming the text that he realised it was a diary.

A dusting of pink crossed Remus' cheeks as he read the very vivid fantasies Sirius had imagined and written down in the journal. Well, Remus thought, this explains why I've never seen him write in it.

He flicked through some other pages, hurt and anger suppressing feelings of guilt as he searched for all of Sirius' thoughts and wishes and hopes about their relationship. He knew he had no right to carry on reading, but it seemed that he couldn't trust Sirius to actually communicate with him. Remus couldn't help but feel he'd failed as a boyfriend by not even noticing that that facet of their relationship wasn't satisfying Sirius.

With no more pages to read, Remus set the journal down, staring up at the canopy of his four-poster bed. Remus didn't know if Sirius had left the diary for him to find deliberately or if it was a moment of carelessness brought about by the anticipation of a reckless prank but, regardless of the cause, there was no way Remus would be letting this go. A talk with his boyfriend was long overdue.

Sirius, on his part, had entirely forgotten where he'd stashed his journal that morning. The bathroom door opening had forced him to hide it, and seeing Remus with just a towel wrapped around his hips had scattered his thoughts more thoroughly than the wind scattered dandelion fairies. Thus, he was surprised when he returned to the dormitory a few hours later to find Remus in a shirt, tie and sweater vest, still wearing school trousers and shoes. He was stood beside his neatly made bed, and Sirius blanched when he saw that his journal, glamour spells absent, was in Remus' hands.

"I rather think we need to talk, don't you?" Remus asked rhetorically, one eyebrow slightly arched as he observed Sirius' fidgeting form. "Sit down, Sirius."

Sirius did as requested, perching himself on the edge of the bed. Remus thought it somewhat endearing when Sirius practically gulped when he shut and locked the door and cast a privacy with a couple of precise flicks of his wand. This was not a conversation he wanted James or Peter to intrude upon.

"You, um, read it?" Sirius winced at the awkward stiltedness of his own question, licking his lips nervously.

"I did. Why did you not tell me what you needed, Sirius? You know how important honesty is to me."

Remus had not seen Sirius hunch up like he was trying to make himself smaller when being scolded since the incident a couple of years back when he exposed Remus' secret to Severus Snape. The insight into Sirius' mind courtesy of the journal allowed Remus to piece together the similar factors between that situation and this, but it essentially boiled down to disappointment. Sirius did not like feeling as though he'd let down his chosen family, Remus in particular. Remus felt silly for not noticing that Sirius' willingness to please partially stemmed from a desire to avoid disappointing Remus, but he had no issue on capitalising on that fact now.

Remus watched Sirius carefully, noticing the nervous tick his boyfriend had as he figured out what to say. "I didn't really think you'd be into, er, that sort of stuff. I mean, it's not exactly normal, is it? No point in making things awkward because I like, well, you know..." Sirius gestured helplessly at the diary, relieved when Remus nodded and he could stop fumbling for an answer.

"You're right," Remus replied. "There are some things that I don't think I'd be comfortable doing. But," he paused, moving to stand in front of Sirius and using his hand to tilt his head back to keep eye contact, "there are some things that definitely interest me, and they could be a normal part of our relationship."

Remus felt a rush of pride at the blush dusting Sirius' face, an amused smirk crossing his face when Sirius was only capable of making a strangled sort of whine at the prospect of some of his hidden fantasies turning into reality.

"What do you think, Sirius?" Remus sat beside his partner on the bed, one hand still entangled in Sirius' hair. "Will you be my good boy?"

An emphatic 'yes' was all the answer he needed.

#wolfstar #a sprinkling of smut #remus x sirius #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black

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aceofstars16 · 6 years ago

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Trapped in the Past (Chapter 2)

Second chapter of my Timetrapped fic inspired by @artsycrapfromsai!

When Mabel and Dipper fight over a time machine, they find themselves sent back thirty years in the past. Now it’s up to the younger versions of their great uncles to get them home.

Chapter 2 - A Fruitless Search

Dipper searches for Mabel in the snow. Mabel tries to find Dipper in Dead End Flats. Discouragement abounds, but at least they both have someone looking out for them.

1 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

AO3

“Mabel!”

The wind blew Dipper’s hair back as he called out, chilling his face and making him shiver despite the coat and socks. He didn’t know when he had lost his hat, all he knew was that it was nowhere to be seen. Which was unfortunate because right now it would help his head say warmer, and of course there was the fact that it hid his birthmark.

Narrowing his eyes against the cold, Dipper caught sight of Stanford looking back at him and out of pure instinct he reached up and flattened his bangs against his forehead. For a moment, the author just looked at him, a frown on his face, but then he turned and kept walking. After taking a few steps, however, Dipper realized they were going down the wrong trail.

“Uh, Mr. uh…Stanford, er…”

Stopping in his tracks, Stanford looked back at him, eyes narrowed slightly. “Just call me Ford.”

“Oh.” That wasn’t what Dipper was expecting. He always imagined the author as this larger than life person, not someone he could just call…a nickname? “Ummm, I think I actually came from that trail.” Pointing to the path that he was pretty sure would lead to the carnival clearing, Dipper found his hand once again pressing down his bangs.

Ford glanced at the trail for a moment, as if lost in thought. Then he shook his head before walking forward, but as he passed Dipper he spoke. “You don’t need to keep covering your birthmark. No one is going to see it out here.”

Dipper’s hand fell to his side as he watched Ford continue to walk in the snow. Of course someone with six fingers would be used to rude comments, in fact, that was just one of the things that Dipper had connected with while reading the journal. However, he still wasn’t entirely sure what to make of his hero, now that he was actually meeting him. The suspicious behavior and disheveled look wasn’t exactly what he had been imagining, but surely there was an explanation for that?

“Hurry up, this weather can change in an instant and I don’t want to be stuck in a blizzard.”

Ford’s voice interrupted Dipper’s thoughts and he shook his head before trotting forward, going as fast as he could in the snow. “Sorry, coming!”

Stumbling after the author, Dipper kept his eyes out for any sign of Mabel, calling out her name every few feet. But as they reached the clearing, the only sign of life were his own footprints from earlier.

“MABEL!” Dipper called out, his voice already getting sore from shouting so much. Her name rang through the clearing but there was no response, just the whistling of wind.

“There are a few caves we can check, this way.” Ford waved his hand and kept walking, though Dipper couldn’t help but notice how he seemed to keep glancing around quickly, as if he was being watched. Each time he did, Dipper would cast a worried glance behind him. There didn’t seem to be anything around, but Ford’s unease was contagious. That, plus there being no sign of his sister anywhere, resulted in a heaviness settling on his chest that was impossible to ignore.

“Mabel! Mabel please, I’m sorry for everything, please answer!”

Wind was the only response. Again, and again, at each nook and cave that Ford lead them to, and with each empty response, Dipper grew more and more worried.

“No signs here either.”

Dipper barely heard Ford’s voice through the exhaustion of his body and the anxiety clouding his mind. “S-she has to be around h-here somewhere.” As he spoke, Dipper’s teeth chattered. The coat that had barely been keeping him warm was now drenched at the bottom. He wasn’t even sure it was keeping any warmth in now.

Hugging himself Dipper started walking forward again, not even sure where else Mabel could be, but not wanting to give up either. Then Ford’s arm appeared in front of him, blocking his way. Glancing up at him, Dipper could see a frown on his face. However, he wasn’t looking at Dipper, but the sky.

“It’s getting dark.” Ford’s frown grew as he spoke, as if not liking what he was about to say. “We need to head back before the sun goes down. Or else we are going to freeze.”

“But, w-what about M-Mabel?!?” Despite the shivers that were shaking his entire body, Dipper knew he couldn’t just go back to the Shack without finding her.

“There is no telling where she is. Maybe she found someone to take her in for the night, but we can’t stay out here any longer.”

It was the last thing Dipper wanted to do, but as Ford started making his way back down the trail, Dipper followed. Exhaustion and despair weighing him down.

Then, as he was stumbling after Ford, his foot caught on a rock and he couldn’t catch himself - his body was too exhausted from trekking around in the snow for over an hour. Landing face first in the snow, Dipper’s incessant shivering, which had overtaken his body, grew even worse.

“What are you-?”

Dipper heard Ford’s voice cut off, but he was so tired that he couldn’t even respond. His whole body felt like a block of ice. He wasn’t even sure he could get up again. He was so drained, both emotionally and physically. All he wanted to do was lie down and wake up back in the Mystery Shack he knew with Mabel safe next to him.

“Come on, we need to hurry.” A hand rested on his shoulder and as Dipper forced himself to look up, he saw Ford crouching next to him. A moment later the author stood and offered him a hand. Closing his eyes for a moment, Dipper tried to gather his strength and remind himself that he couldn’t do Mabel any good if he froze out here. Then he reached up, accepting Ford’s hand and allowing himself to be pulled up.

The whole walk back, Dipper was barely aware of the hand that rested on his shoulder, guiding him at each turn in the trail, or how he was pulled up and steadied every time he stumbled. All he could think about was putting one foot in front of the other. But in the back of his mind, worry nagged at him and he couldn’t help but be weighed down by the fact that Mabel might be out in the cold, all alone. All because of a stupid fight over a machine. He’d gladly give up his day with Wendy just to know that Mabel was okay.

Ford was exhausted. Though that was normal for him lately. However, now his body felt even more drained. It took most of his concentration to keep standing, though he constantly reminded himself to keep on eye on Dipper. Of course Bill would send someone who had an oddity as well, trying to get Ford to feel pity so he would let down his guard. And it had worked. Ford found himself helping the kid take off the soaked clothes he was wearing and wrap him up in a few blankets that he could find. He had even turned on the heater despite knowing warmth might lull him to sleep again.

It was a ploy, he kept telling himself that. But part of him also realized that Dipper might not know Bill was using him. After all, Ford himself had been a pawn for the demon. And if that was the case, then, well…Dipper was just a kid. Plus, his fingers had been turning blue by the time they had made it back to the house. Ford might not trust the kid, but he wasn’t just going to let someone freeze.

Besides, he doubted Dipper had any energy to do anything for Bill at the moment. As soon as he had sat on the couch, the kid hadn’t moved and even as Ford checked again, he was in the same spot, still shivering a little despite the blankets wrapped around his shoulders.

A beeping interrupted Ford’s observation and he made his way back to the kitchen, sighing as he noted that his coffee wasn’t finished brewing yet. He really needed something to give him some energy or he was liable to fall asleep on his feet. Shaking his head - both clear it and to wake himself up - Ford pulled the mug out of the microwave before pouring an old package of hot chocolate mix into the water. He didn’t drink much of the stuff, but Fiddleford had kept some around and apparently he had left a few packages behind.

Once he had mixed the powder as well as he could, Ford made his way back to the living room, trying not to pay attention to how his legs felt like they were full of led.

“Here, drink this.”

Dipper looked up slowly, and for a second he looked confused, but then he focused on the mug and reached out to accept it, his fingers tightly wrapping around the warm cup before taking a sip. A small shiver ran through his body, but then he took another sip and his shoulders relaxed a little.

“Aren’t you cold?”

The question took Ford by surprise and he stared at Dipper for a moment. Yes, he was cold, but he was used to being cold - it had become normal for him. Though he supposed, he was a little colder than he would like. “I’m fine, I have coffee brewing.”

A quiet “oh” was the only response as Dipper continued to drink his cocoa, his eyes drooping more with each sip. Well at least it seemed to be warming him up, though Ford felt a knot of unease forming in his gut as Dipper seemed about a second away from falling asleep. Bill loved using people while they slept…

However, a few minutes later – after Ford had put Dipper’s mug in the sink and watched as the kid slept – he had to admit his worry seemed to be unwarranted. Dipper was out cold and there was no sign of Bill anywhere. Well, aside from the quiet whispers that continued to follow Ford wherever he went. He had even heard them out in the snow, despite being far away from the portal. Occasionally they fell into the background, but then he would hear them again and the paranoia in his chest would return – though he was starting to think that maybe that it had never actually left.

Taking a sip of coffee, Ford forced himself to move again – even standing still for too long resulted in him almost falling over from exhaustion. He needed to move, and despite not wanting to turn his back on Dipper, he found himself making his way to the basement. The portal had been shut off for a while now, but Ford had to check it multiple times a day or else he would go crazy. There was no telling what Bill would do to turn it on. So, he constantly checked on it, making sure everything was in place, turned off and harmless. It was a necessary precaution, just until Stan got there…that is, if Stan even came at all.

Unease settled in Ford’s chest at the thought, but he tried to push it aside. If Stanley didn’t come, he would…he would figure something out. Probably.

“Are you her father?”

Stan stared at the man who he had pulled aside a moment ago to ask about seeing Mabel’s brother. They had been going at it for at least an hour with no luck whatsoever – which weighed down on Stan’s chest. Not just because of his looming deadline but because he could see Mabel slowly losing heart.

Opening his mouth, Stan was about to reply that he was in no way anything close to a father - just someone trying to help - when Mabel’s words cut him off.

“No, he’s my gr-uh…uncle! Well sometimes I call him grunkle but that’s cause he’s a great uncle, not like an actual great uncle but an awesome uncle, you know?”

The words tumbled out of her mouth so quickly that Stan found himself simply staring at her for a second, trying to process exactly what she had just said.

“Huh…is that so?” The man looked at Stan, who forced a quick smile and put an arm around Mabel.

“Yup, sure is!” Okay, so it wasn’t the truth, but if he disagreed with Mabel there was no telling what kind of complications might arise and he was just trying to help her. If people assumed they were related, it would get rid of any of the awkwardness surrounding the fact that he was walking around with a child he had just met. Even if he had no ill intentions toward her.

For a moment the man just looked at them then shrugged. “Sorry I haven’t seen anyone like you described, hope you find him.”

As the man walked away, Mabel sighed, slumping against Stan’s leg. “Why hasn’t anyone seen him?”

Stan patted her head, frowning as he looked around the street. “I don’t know kiddo, maybe he’s hanging out in one spot? What does he like to do?”

She opened her mouth, only to close it, a shadow of sadness passing over her face. “He likes video games, but also weird things like conspiracy theories and stuff. And reading, he likes to read too.”

As she spoke, Stan felt a small knot of emotion grow in his chest. Weird things and books? Of course he ran into the one kid who’s brother sounded just like Ford…or at least, what Ford had been like as a kid. Trying to shake off the thought, Stan looked around. “Well, we can try the library. And there might be an arcade somewhere around here?”

Despite being in this town for a few weeks, Stan hadn’t really been to the…regular spots, but he figured there would at least be a library. And seeing as arcades were getting more popular, there might be one somewhere, or at least a restaurant that had a machine or two.

“Okay…” Something about Mabel’s demeanor had changed, but Stan had no clue what had caused it, so he tried for smile.

“I’m sure we’ll find him soon.” It was a lie. Stan had no idea if they would find her brother, there was no telling what could happen, especially in a place like this. But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he shoved it away. No, Dipper was fine and they were going to find him. End of story.

Determination settling in his chest, Stan patted Mabel’s back in assurance before setting off to find the nearest arcade.

“Here you are darling.”

Mabel looked up from the café counter at the basket of chicken strips and fries. Despite the worry weighing her down, she felt her stomach rumble and she hesitantly grabbed a strip, nibbling on it as she watched some kids playing Pac Man a few tables away. Dipper wasn’t one of them.

A hand grabbed some fries from the basket and Mabel turned to look at Stan, who was stuffing the food into his mouth. He hadn’t said anything since they ordered but from the way he kept sticking his hand in his pocket, she couldn’t help but wonder if he could actually afford the food. She sure hoped so, not only because she didn’t have any money either, but also because she didn’t like the thought of her great uncle being broke. It just wasn’t right.

“Hey, chin up kiddo, I’m sure we’ll find him soon.”

Stan gave her a smile, though she couldn’t help but wonder if it was real or forced. They had been searching for hours and there wasn’t even a sign of Dipper. She didn’t want to stop, but her knees – which hadn’t felt too bad at first - were starting to sting and ache. Also, her sweater and skirt combo wasn’t exactly the best for staying outside for long periods of time, at least, not when it was cold out.

“Find who.”

The waitress that had taken their order was back, filling up their glasses with water. Mabel opened her mouth, but found she couldn’t get the words out. That her brother was missing without a trace, that she was stuck in the past with no way home, that she didn’t even have a clue as to what she should do now. All because of a stupid fight. Sure, she loved Waddles, and she didn’t want to give him up but...she would gladly do so if it meant she could be home with Dipper right now.

“Uh, her brother. He ran off and we’ve been looking for him for a few hours now.” Stan answered the question - the half lie rolling off his tongue with well-practiced ease. At least this Stan was the same in that regard, despite being about thirty years younger than Mabel was used to.

“You check the police station? They might be able to help.”

“That’s our next stop.” Stan said it so fast, Mabel almost didn’t catch the way his hand twitched a little. She had to admit the idea of going to the police wasn’t really ideal to her either. Not only because of that night in the Gravity Falls jail during a ‘family bonding’ day, but also because she really didn’t know if they could help. Dipper might be in an entirely different year for all she knew.

Out of the corner of her eye, Mabel saw the waitress – Pam, if she was remembering the nametag right – leave only to come back a moment later and set a plate down in front of her.

“Here darling, it’s on the house.”

Sitting up, Mabel could feel her sweet tooth acting up as she took in the huge slice of apple pie that was now sitting in front of her. She looked at Stan and the unfinished chicken nuggets, but he just waved at the pie. Oh yeah, this was the Stan she knew, who let her have ice cream for breakfast on a regular basis.

The next few minutes passes by in silence – Mabel eating every crumb of the pie while Stan finished off the rest of the chicken and fries.

“So…I can take you to the police if you want…”

Mabel, who had been licking her plate to savor any last traces of ice cream, froze and lowered the plate to the table, not sure how to respond. She wanted to find Dipper but from Stan’s hesitance, and her own uncertainties about consulting the police, she was reluctant to say anything. But after a moment, she asked quietly, “Do…you think they would actually be able to help?”

“Eh,” Stan rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Probably. Even if they can’t find him right away, they could ask other cites and maybe even put up fliers and stuff. And they could probably get you home too.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, anxiety jumped up in Mabel’s chest. Home. The police couldn’t get her home. Heck, she didn’t even think home existed right now. Her parents might not even be born for all she knew. Stan was the only family she had right now and the thought of trusting strangers to get her to a home that wasn’t even created yet was…She shook her head.

“I don’t…” Her voice died in her throat. She couldn’t explain all of that to Stan, or at least, she wasn’t sure if she should. Or if he would even believe her if she did. And if Dipper was here, she knew he would argue that it could ruin the future if she said anything about it.

“Hey, don’t worry they uh…they’ll know what to do.”

A hand rested on Mabel’s shoulder and in any other circumstance, she would’ve agreed. But this wasn’t a normal situation. No one would believe that she was from the future, and even if they did, she doubted they could help her get home.

“Can’t I just stay with you?” It was the only option that didn’t totally terrify her. If she really was stuck in the past, she’d rather be stuck with Stan.

Stan laughed, though it was forced. “Trust me kid, you don’t want to.”

Running a hand through her hair, Mabel couldn’t look at him, because from everything she’d seen of his life that might be true, but she knew she would be safe with Stan. Even though he didn’t know her, she knew him and she knew he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. “I really do…”

Shaking his head, Stan sighed. “Come on, the car isn’t too far away. I can take you to the police station. It... it’ll be for the best.”

Stan got up before she could answer and Mabel tried to force down the panic that was rising in her chest. What could she say to convince Stan to let her stay with him? Fear and desperation raced through her as she stumbled after Stan, out of the diner and onto the street. Her chest grew tighter and tighter as emotion overwhelmed her until she couldn’t hold back a sob. If only Dipper was here, he’d know what to do, probably…at least they’d at least be together.

“Oh gosh…hey, it’s okay, kiddo.”

Mabel looked up at Stan, her eyes blurry from tears as another sob escaped her mouth. “N-no it’s not I, Dipper is g-gone and I can’t go h-home and I-I don’t know how t-to- and I just want to s-stay with y-you and-“ Her voice cut off as sobs overwhelmed her completely and she flung herself at Stan, wanting to hide away from every terrifying and overwhelming thought and just pretend she was back in Gravity Falls crying over a movie or a stupid crush.

For a moment, there was nothing. Then a sigh and arms wrapping around her. “It’s okay, I…you can stay with me for…for tonight at least, okay?”

Snuggling closer to him, Mabel managed to whisper out a thank you. It wasn’t perfect. She still didn’t know what to do, but at least she didn’t have to leave the only family she had right now.

This was a mess. Stan didn’t know what the heck he was doing. He should not have caved; he should’ve driven Mabel straight to the police. It would be for the best. But her absolute trust in him – despite being totally unwarranted – was touching, if not a little worrisome. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the kid, it was just…he wasn’t even equipped to take care of himself. How could care for someone else’s needs too? He couldn’t just say no though, not when she had started crying, looking so scared and helpless. Gosh, he wished he knew what was going on so he could actually help her, but whenever he tried to bring it up, she just got quiet, so he left it.

“There, that should do it.” Tucking the bandage in itself so it wouldn’t come undone, Stan reached up and ruffled Mabel’s hair. Not long after he agreed to let her stay, he had noticed how scrapped up her knees were, and thankfully the hotel had let him have some things to patch her up. Okay maybe they hadn’t given them to him, but they didn’t exactly guard the stuff very well either…

“Thanks grun-uh, Stan…” Her voice was quiet, and her gaze was transfixed on her knees, her hands brushing over the bandages. It was such a contrast from how she had been talking his ear off a few hours ago and it worried him. But he tried not to think about it. Tomorrow she would be out of his life. It was for the best, she’d realized that. She just needed some sleep and time to think about it, that’s all.

“Uh, yeah, no prob. You should probably get some sleep now though.”

Mabel looked at the bed then up at Stan for a moment. “Where are you going to sleep?”

“Ah…” Stan rubbed his neck, sleep was just about the furthest thing from his mind right now. “Don’t worry about me kiddo, I’m not really tired anyway.”

For a moment, Mabel frowned at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t you worry about me, kiddo.” Stan tried for a smile, which Mabel returned, though it was only a half-smile.

“Okay…” She looked at her knees one more time then slowly lied down on the bed, but her eyes stayed open. “What is a Stan Vac?”

A real laugh escaped Stan’s mouth as he looked at the boxes piled up behind him. “Ah, just a business idea. Didn’t really fly.”

“Can… can you tell me about it?”

Well that would be the strangest bedtime story ever, but if that’s what she wanted… “Sure…it all started in Virginia…” Stan recounted the story from his past – thankfully it was one of the most child friendly ones he had. Mainly just a lot of door to door campaigns and trying to fix broken machines because they were pretty poorly made. But it seemed to do the trick. Slowly Mabel’s eyes closed and as he concluded the tale, he could see her chest rising and falling slowly.

“Sweet dreams kiddo.” Stan pulled a blanket over her shoulders and glanced at the clock. Crap, he was going to be late.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to refocus himself. It was time to talk himself out of a debt. And he knew if he wanted to stand a chance at that, he needed to be on his A game, especially with Rico. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from double checking the lock on the door before he left. As long as Mabel was in his life, he was going to make sure she was safe. No matter what.

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superfreakerz · 6 years ago

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TDDUP 20

“Til Death Do Us Part”

Rated M for eventual smut.

Reincarnation/Immortality AU.

Summary: There are immortals and there are those who reincarnate, but it’s best to keep these things hidden. Lucy is attending college and meets Natsu, a boy with pink hair, a devilish grin, and a body that never ages.

Read earlier chapters on FF.net

Chapter 20

Quadruple Date

A week had passed since Natsu and Lucy made their relationship official. Much to their delight, things hadn't changed that much. Sure, they shared kisses and were more affectionate now, but they were still best friends above anything else. They still laughed together, played games, watched movies, all the same things they did before they started dating.

Lucy was surprised that she didn't feel too nervous around Natsu anymore. Now that everything was out in the open and her feelings were reciprocated, her confidence was up. If she wanted to hold Natsu's hand, she did it. If she wanted to cuddle, she did it. Being in a relationship with Natsu was easy so far, she didn't know why she was so scared of it before.

Okay, maybe it wasn't a complete walk in the park. Now that they were dating, Natsu spent even more time at her apartment- which most thought was impossible considering he barged in almost every night. With the extra time spent at her place, she had noticed that some of his stuff had slowly started making way into her home, finding permanent locations.

It wasn't that she minded moving in with him. In fact, it had crossed her mind a few times, the only reason she didn't follow through being she didn't want to move too fast. The problem was whenever Natsu was trying to find a place for some of his stuff, sometimes he would get too close to seeing something she didn't want him to see.

At first it started with small stuff, like her thongs. Even though he'd seen her underwear before- and even naked thanks to his lack of boundaries- she was embarrassed when he opened her drawer and found the motherload of stringy lace. Still, that wasn't the worst of it all.

If she had been any other normal person, it would have been. But she wasn't normal.

A couple of days into their relationship, Natsu brought a plastic bag full of bathroom essentials. He already had some basic stuff like a toothbrush at her place, but this time he brought a razor and aftershave, some extra deodorant so he didn't have to bring his back and forth, and some stuff he said was for the gym.

Lucy shrugged it off, not minding all of the extra stuff until she saw Natsu go to open the bottom drawer in her bathroom. In a flash, the blonde was bustling into the bathroom, her eyes wide and her mouth dry as she watched him open the drawer where a certain golden necklace was placed. Her heart felt like it was on overdrive, threatening to burst out of her chest.

Luckily, Natsu just poured the bag's contents into the drawer without even casting her necklace a glance. It wasn't like necklaces were suspicious, so he didn't have a reason to even look at it in the first place. Still, it made her antsy whenever he went into the bathroom, scared that one day he'd open her locket. So, she waited until he was out of the apartment to take it and hide it somewhere else. Under the mattress, to be precise.

But other than the occasional reincarnation scares, Lucy was having a fun time being Natsu's girlfriend.

Lucy closed her writing journal with a content sigh. Since Natsu was out at the moment, she decided to write her heart out before stashing the journal away once again. Her eyes drifted towards the clock. It had been three hours since he left.

Lucy refused to become one of those girls who devoted all of their time to their boyfriends, wanting to spend every single second of the day clinging onto him. A pout rested on her face. Alright, maybe it was easier said than done. She missed him, was that so bad?

There was a knock at the door, bringing Lucy out of her thoughts. An eager grin danced on her lips as she rushed to open the door, surprised to find Levy.

"Levy-chan? What are you doing here?" she asked with an arched brow.

"Well, you agreed to talk about you-know-what a week ago and we never did end up discussing it," the other girl answered, smiling at her. "And I figured I'd drop off the book you wanted to borrow while I'm at it."

"Oh, you're right!" Lucy replied, smacking a hand to her forehead. They were supposed to talk on Halloween, but then she'd been preoccupied with Natsu. A week into their relationship and their friends still didn't know they were together. "I was supposed to text you! I completely forgot!"

"It's fine, I figured you did," Levy replied. "So, what exactly did Natsu tell you?"

Lucy averted her gaze, wringing her arms together. "Well, not much. He just told me that you all lied about where he lives. Oh, and that you all sort of live together."

"Is that all?"

"Yes! Nothing else, I promise!"

Levy sighed. At least it wasn't anything too revealing about their secret. It was still bad that he told her, of course, but it could have been worse.

"Listen, Lu-chan," Levy started, rubbing the back of her head. A frown rested on her face as she continued, "I'm really sorry about keeping these things from you. And for lying to you. I know Natsu already told you there's a reason for it, but I know it doesn't feel good being lied to."

"It's okay," Lucy replied with a smile. "I already forgave Natsu, so it wouldn't make sense being upset with you still."

"Well, I'm still going to apologize because unlike Natsu, I can't promise that I won't lie to you again. I know you two have that agreement and it's fine, but I can't agree to that."

Levy felt guilty, but her resolve kept her voice firm and steady. It wasn't just for her sake, it was for everyone's. If Lucy found out, then it would be bad for all of the immortals having to go back into hiding. It would be bad for Lucy, who would suddenly lose almost all of her friends. And it would be the worst for Natsu, who decided to leave Fairy Tail if it came down to it. Lying was just something that had to be done.

"Well, thank you for being honest with me about that," Lucy said, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly. It stung a bit to hear that Levy was going to keep lying to her, but she understood and appreciated the honesty in her statement. "Really, it hurt most whenever Natsu lied to me. As long as he doesn't lie to me anymore, I think I'll be okay."

Levy wiggled her eyebrows, smirking at the other girl. 'Because you loooove him."

Lucy's face went up in flames. "A-About that… You want to know why I didn't get around to texting you last week?"

"Why?"

"It's because I was too busy kissing Natsu."

Silence fell on the pair before Levy jumped out of her chair, pointing a finger at Lucy.

"Are you serious? This better not be a joke!" she shouted, her eyes the size of golf balls.

Lucy nodded her head frantically. "Yeah, we kissed! And we've actually been dating since then!"

"Oh my god, Lu-chan! Why didn't you tell me!?"

"I'm sorry! It's just a little soon to be telling everyone, don't you think?"

"No way! Juvia told us a split-second after she and Gray made it official! Oh my gosh, Lu-chan! You have a boyfriend now! Finally!"

"Well you don't have to word it like that!"

"We can finally go on that double date I've been dying for! Tell me everything that happened in the last week, don't spare a single detail! Wait! Let me call Erza and Juvia! They'd want to hear this too!"

Lucy sighed, knowing there was no way in dodging this. Her friends were apparently just as invested as she was in her relationship with Natsu.

It didn't take long before her front door swung open, Erza and Juvia inviting themselves in. In the blink of an eye, Juvia grabbed Lucy's hands, shaking them excitedly.

"Juvia is so happy for you and Natsu!" she exclaimed. "Juvia remembers when she and Gray got together. It was years ago, and-"

"Juvia, we've all heard that story a million times already," Erza said, grabbing the blue-headed girl by her collar and dragging her away from the blonde to give her space. "Right now, we want to hear about Lucy and Natsu." She narrowed her eyes at Lucy, a dangerous gleam reflecting off of her dark irises. "So, you and Natsu have been together for a week now and haven't told us?"

"I'm sorry, don't kill me!" Lucy shouted, holding her hands up in surrender.

"Tell us everything and perhaps I shall spare you."

Lucy retold the story about how she and Natsu got together, making sure not to leave out a single detail. Her cheeks burned bright red as she went over their first kiss, explaining the passion shared between them despite it being an innocent peck. And she retold every kiss they shared after that.

"Well? How's Natsu at kissing?" Levy asked, leaning towards the blonde in curiosity.

Lucy glared at her friend. "What kind of question is that!?"

"A good one!" Juvia answered for the other girl. "Tell us! We all know that Lucy is the first girl Natsu has kissed. Was it good?"

Lucy fought the oncoming smile she felt breaking through her face. It was nice to know that she was Natsu's first, and even though he couldn't be her first kiss, she planned on him being her first for everything else.

"I hope I can be his last, too."

A hand waved in front of Lucy's face, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Hello?" Levy called out. "Earthland to Lu-chan! Answer the question already!"

"Oh right," the girl replied. "I don't really know how to answer the question. I've only kissed one other guy before and it was only a quick peck, so it's not like I have the technique mastered or anything like that. But I can say that kissing him makes my body feel light. And warm, too."

"That's it?"

"Well, they're only pecks."

"You guys haven't deepened any of your kisses yet?"

Lucy blushed. "No. Is that weird?"

"It's not weird," Erza answered. "It'll happen when it happens. Natsu's probably just nervous and doesn't know what to do."

"Well the same goes for me!"

"Exactly. So you guys will get there when you get there. No rush."

Lucy nodded. To think that she had been having thoughts of going all the way with Natsu when they hadn't even deepened a kiss yet.

"Anyways, get ready," Erza announced, catching her attention.

"For what?" Lucy asked.

"Now that you two are finally together, I say it's time we go on a date. A quadruple date, that is." Erza went through the blonde's closet, grinning as she plucked out a familiar red dress. "This is the dress I bought you in case you ever went on a date. I'm glad I chose the color red since it's Natsu's favorite color."

"Wait, did you do that on purpose?"

"Perhaps. Just go put it on so that Juvia can do your hair."

Lucy nodded, beaming as she grabbed the dress. Even though a quadruple date wasn't something she thought she'd be into, she was excited to see Natsu. And she was even more excited to see his reaction to this dress.

It was a brighter shade of red, crimson to be exact. The short sleeves hung off of her shoulders, draping over her arms. The neckline wasn't as steep as her other dresses, so it didn't show off as much cleavage as she would've liked. To make up for it, the tulip-shape of the bottom showed off her shapely legs.

He was going to love it just as much as she did.

Walking out of the bathroom, Lucy grinned at her friends' whistles.

"That dress looks amazing on you!" Levy exclaimed. Looking down at her own chest, she continued with a pout, "I wish a dress like that suited me too."

Lucy nudged her, giving her a smile. "You pull off short, airy dresses better than anyone I know. Speaking of that, what are you guys going to wear? I don't want to be the only one dressed up!"

"You're right. I'm on it," Erza said, heading towards the door. "I'll be back. I want everyone's hair done by the time I get back."

The three other girls shared a look.

"We better hurry unless we want Erza to kill us."

"Yep."

It was roughly half an hour later when Erza returned, this time carrying a duffel bag.

"I've picked out my favorite dresses of the ones you own," she told Levy and Juvia. "I'm glad that everyone's hair is done. Juvia, would you mind doing mine as well?"

Lucy watched as Levy and Juvia dug into the bag and pulled out their dresses. It wasn't a surprise that Erza managed to return so quickly. After all, they apparently lived together, so getting the other girls' dresses shouldn't take long.

"Wait, do the guys even know that we're planning this?" Levy asked. "It'd be such a waste getting all dressed up just for them not to show up."

"I told them," Erza answered as Juvia curled her hair. "And Jellal is going to make sure that they are dressed in appropriate clothing for where we are going."

Lucy's eyes brightened as she clasped her hands together. As much as she loved Natsu's signature look, it was exciting to be able to see him more dressed up than usual. It was funny, she saw him in a miniskirt before ever seeing him in a suit, or even a button up shirt.

"I'm not wearing this," Natsu said as Jellal shoved a tie his way. The tie itself wasn't the problem, it was the whole ensemble. Natsu Dragneel did not wear suits.

"Me neither," Gray replied, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

The four boys were all in Natsu and Gray's room, Jellal trying to convince them to get ready for the date Erza told him about.

"I don't mind wearin' a suit. I wear them whenever I perform," Gajeel stated.

"You mean whenever you torture us with that shit you call music?" Natsu jibed.

Before a fight could break out, Jellal shoved the tie in Natsu's direction again.

"Just get dressed," he persisted.

"No way! I don't like wearin' suits! They're suffocating!"

"And I don't wanna go on this thing," Gajeel added. "A quadruple date sounds like a pain in the ass."

"Well, the eight of us are always hanging out anyways," Gray replied with a shrug. "But I don't see why we have to dress up this time."

"Fine," Jellal said, losing his patience. "Then I hope you all enjoy having Erza beat you to a pulp."

The three boys shared a glance before shrugging.

"We'll just have to deal with it," Gajeel said. Yeah, the redhead was scary. But dealing with her sounded easier than going to some fancy place all dressed up.

Jellal glared at them. "Alright, if Erza wasn't enough to bring you to your senses, then have fun disappointing all of your girlfriends and explaining to them why they don't deserve a proper date once in a while." This got the boys' attention, frowns spreading over all of their faces. "And just for the record, they are all getting ready right now, probably excited about this whole thing. But sure, let me just call Erza and tell her that you three aren't coming."

Veins ticked in the threes' foreheads before they tackled Jellal to the floor and snatched his phone away.

"Fine! We'll go!"

It was an hour later when Lucy heard a knock at the door. All of the girls were ready and it was finally time to go.

"That must be the boys," she said, heading towards the door. Swinging it open, she found them all dressed up in suits. Her gaze went past the others, landing immediately on Natsu. A pout tugged at his lips as he played with a cufflink on his denim-blue suit. It fit him just right. Underneath his signature scarf, she could see a tie neatly tucked underneath his suit jacket. It was striped with yellow and blue.

Natsu's eyes found hers, a grin spreading over his face. "Yo, Lucy! You ready to go?"

The girl nodded, her cheeks warm. Natsu always looked good no matter what he wore- even her own outfits. But this look was different. It was a fresh change from the opened vest and joggers. He looked downright hot.

The other boys greeted her before squeezing past her to meet up with the other girls. This gave Natsu a chance to see what she was wearing.

She felt confident. The dress fit her body perfectly, clinging to her curves and accentuating her figure. And it was a nice touch that the color just so happened to be his favorite. Even her hair was done perfectly, curled into loose waves.

And yet, as his eyes washed over her, she found that he didn't have the reaction she pictured. No blushing cheeks, no dropped jaws, nothing. It wasn't like that time on Halloween, either, when he tried to keep himself in check. He was simply unaffected.

Lucy pouted, crossing her arms.

"Everyone ready to go?" Erza asked. At everyone's cheers, they were out the door.

Erza had made a reservation at the fanciest restaurant in all of Magnolia. Lucy was surprised that she was able to book a reservation in such short time until the redhead had told her that Jellal had it in with the owner.

Reaching the restaurant, the hostess lit up seeing Jellal. She appeared around their age with straight silver hair that fell to her midback.

"Jellal! It's been a while! You haven't forgotten about us, I hope?" the hostess joked, placing her hands on her hips.

"Of course not, Angel," Jellal replied, smiling at her. "I've been busy with schoolwork."

"Oh right, I forgot you're doing that again."

"Again?" Lucy wondered, resisting the urge to arch a brow as she felt the group's stares on her. Something was up.

Angel's eyes widened a fraction as her gaze landed on the blonde. She didn't know that they would be bringing a mortal with them. "Oh, uhh, I mean I forgot that some people choose to go to school again after high school. I don't know why anyone would."

"Some of us enjoy school," Jellal replied, going with her lie. "Anyways, we have a reservation."

"Oh, right! Right this way, sir."

"Are you still liking your job?"

"Yeah. It's way better than the alternative, you know? This is better for all of us."

"Well, I'm glad you are all enjoying life to the fullest," Jellal said, smiling at the girl as she brought them to their table. It was away from the other customers, just as they had requested.

"We are," Angel replied. She glanced to the others, grinning at them all. "Nice to see you guys again." Then her gaze landed on Lucy, her eyes narrowing into a glare. With that, she walked back to the front of the restaurant.

Lucy turned to Levy. "Was I the only one that saw that glare at the end?"

"I apologize about that," Jellal replied. "Angel doesn't like people she doesn't know."

"Ehh, it's fine I guess."

With that, the conversation broke off into different groups. Lucy turned to Natsu, admiring the way his jacket sleeves were a bit tight around his biceps.

"I never would've guessed you own a suit," she said, nudging him.

Natsu shrugged, tugging at his scarf. "Yeah, Erza said I have to own at least one and made me get this a while back. I hate it. It's suffocating."

"Looks nice though."

Natsu glanced at her, his eyes landing on her dress. Her breath hitched in her throat, waiting for him to finally compliment her. To her disappointment, he looked back to the menu without a word.

A huff escaped her as she rested her chin on the palm of her hand.

"Just one friggin' compliment would be nice!"

Gray sighed, watching the interaction between the two. After finding out that they were dating, he was relieved. Though he refused to admit it, Natsu was his closest friend, he wanted him to be happy. The same went for Lucy. Their feelings for each other were obvious, it was only a matter of time before they finally realized it. And now that they did, Natsu was too oblivious to notice Lucy's annoyed behavior.

"Lucy," he called out, "you look good." Knowing that Juvia was going to get jealous if he didn't do something, he grabbed her hand under the table, giving it an assuring squeeze. He hoped Natsu got the hint.

"Thank you, Gray!" Lucy replied, a bright grin spreading over her face. She turned towards Natsu, waiting for him to chime in. She nearly groaned in frustration finding that he wasn't even paying attention.

It didn't take long for their waiter to come and take their order. With his tanned skin, maroon hair, and toned body, Lucy was sure that their waiter was popular among female customers.

"Yo, Jellal," he replied.

Lucy whipped her head between the two of them. "Jellal knows this guy too?"

"Cobra, it's nice to see you're doing well," Jellal replied, nodding his head towards the other boy with a smile.

"Same goes for you," Cobra replied. He then took everyone else's orders before his gaze landed on Lucy. The pleasant smile from before vanished, leaving a void expression in its wake. Lucy ignored the weird behavior, giving him her order. He left, but not without clicking his tongue in annoyance first.

Lucy scoffed at the boy's retreating form.

"Okay, is there something on my face?" she asked. "Or did I just not get the memo that it's Be-Rude-To-Blondes Day?"

"I'm sorry about him too," Jellal said with a frown. "He's like Angel. He isn't-"

"Comfortable with people he doesn't know. Got it."

Lucy picked up her glass of water and swirled it around, watching the ice cubes clank against the rim of the glass. So far, their group date was a disaster. Her boyfriend hadn't complimented her in her dress and the staff was full of assholes.

Natsu watched as Lucy glumly swirled her drink. He was annoyed with Cobra and Angel for being rude to her, but he understood. They were all in the same boat as Erza and Jellal, taken by the same scientists and held prisoner for decades. Their hatred for mortals was understandable.

"Don't let him get to you," Natsu said, nudging Lucy.

The girl rolled her eyes at him. "You try having people be rude to you for no good reason."

"Lucy. I have pink hair. I've dealt with assholes being rude to me for no good reason my whole life."

She turned towards him, a smile ghosting her lips. "Alright, I guess you have a point."

"Exactly," he replied, ruffling her hair.

"Ack! Don't mess up the curls!"

"Oh, my bad."

Once Cobra returned with the food, he set the plates in front of them. Natsu watched as Lucy glanced down at her dress, avoiding eye contact with the waiter. Before Cobra could go back to the kitchen, Natsu called out to him.

"Yo, Cobra, this is my girlfriend Lucy," he said, slinging an arm around the girl's shoulder and giving their waiter a face-splitting grin.

Cobra's eyes widened, his eyes flickering between the two of them. "Y-You're dating a-"

"A blonde, yes. And I know you've had some issues with blondes in the past, but Lucy is different. So quit bein' a jerk to her, alright?"

Cobra shut his mouth, staring at Lucy. Reluctantly, he nodded, heading back to the kitchen.

Lucy arched a brow, looking to her boyfriend who was busy scarfing down his food.

"He hates blondes?" she asked.

Natsu ignored her, not wanting to lie directly to her to uphold their agreement.

As everyone finished up their food, Cobra came back with their checks. Before Lucy could grab hers, Natsu snatched it away, insisting that he'd cover this one.

"No sense in you paying when they were jackasses to you the whole time," he explained. "Besides, this is a date."

"Okay, but I get to pay next time," Lucy replied.

"Oh, then I'll make sure to order a lot!" Natsu exclaimed, followed by a mischievous laugh.

"I'm so going to kill you."

After paying, the group headed towards the exit. The staff waved goodbye to Jellal and the others, urging them to visit soon.

"I suppose this is where we part," Erza stated once they left the restaurant. The air was cold against her skin. Jellal, being the gentleman he is, took off his jacket and draped it over the redhead's shoulders.

"Sounds good," Lucy replied. "I'll see everyone at Fairy Tail tomorrow?"

"Not me, I have work," Levy answered. "But I'll see you in class."

"Okay. Bye, everyone!"

The group broke off into separate paths, Natsu and Lucy going one way while the rest went the other. This didn't go unnoticed by Lucy.

Looking over her shoulder to make sure they were out of earshot, she glanced up at him as they walked back to her apartment.

"So, those guys in the restaurant," she started, lacing her fingers with his, "you know them?"

"Yeah, I do," Natsu answered, shoving his unoccupied hand into his pocket. "They're mainly Jellal's friends, so I kinda just know them by association."

"Well, thank you for sticking up for me. Means a lot."

Natsu nudged her, giving her a grin. "Don't mention it, weirdo. You're my girlfriend, of course I'm gonna stick up for you. Hell, even if you weren't my girlfriend."

"Believe me, I know. I'll never forget you punching that asshole at the other restaurant we went to."

"Don't remind me or else I'm just gonna go punch him again."

A laugh slipped past her lips, her head craning back to look at the starry sky. "Hey, Natsu. Was this whole thing really about me being a blonde?"

"No."

"What was it really about?"

"Can't say."

Lucy squeezed his hand, shrugging her shoulders. "That's okay. Let's get home already. I haven't really broken into these heels yet so they are digging into the back of my heel. The sooner we get home, the sooner I can take them off."

"Walk faster then, weirdo."

"You know, you could carry me."

"Why the hell would I carry you?"

"Because you love me."

Natsu stopped in his tracks, prompting her to stop as well. Lucy's face went up in flames as she thought about what she had just said. Slapping a hand over her mouth, she turned to face her boyfriend and find his reaction.

"Love?" Natsu repeated, arching a brow. "I don't remember us telling each other that we love each other."

"W-Well, I meant it as a friend! You know, in a friendly way!" Lucy lied, praying he would drop it. She was not going to be the first one to drop the l-word, especially so soon into their relationship where he might not feel the same yet.

"Oh really?" Natsu asked, leaning towards her with his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Because I don't think that's what you meant."

"I think I would know what I meant."

"Really, Luce?"

"Look, can we just go home already? My feet are killing me." She turned to walk away when Natsu pulled her back.

"I love you," he said. His voice was steady, his face void of any playfulness or deceit. He was serious.

Warmth traveled through her entire body, her brain short-circuiting at those simple words. Such a simple sentence comprised of only three words held such a deeper meaning behind them, filling her with feelings she'd never known before. And suddenly, with three words, everything became clear.

"I love you too," Lucy replied, her voice hushed.

In the blink of an eye, all of the seriousness in Natsu's face transformed into a large, face-splitting grin.

"Good," he said. His heart was thumping wildly his chest, his body feeling hotter than fire. "Well? Let's get you home!"

"Wait. Can we try something really quick?"

"What is it?"

"K-Kiss."

Natsu cocked his head to the side. "We've kissed already. More than once."

"I-I know," Lucy replied, shyly poking her fingers together while averting her gaze. "I meant a different kind of kiss. You know, like the ones we see in the movies."

Natsu swallowed thickly, his cheeks matching his hair. "Oh, uhh, okay. Yeah, let's do it."

Lucy stepped closer to him. She hoped he would take the lead, but she knew better than most that the boy could be pretty shy himself when it came to some things.

"Just a heads up, I haven't done this before," she said. "So I'll probably suck."

"Then the same goes for me, weirdo."

Lucy nodded, shyly snaking her arms around his neck. Her eyes flickered towards his lips, her own twitching into an amused smile as she watched him lick his lips. Ignoring her racing heart, she leaned towards him, her eyes starting to droop closed. Before they closed, she saw him lean in as well.

Their lips brushed against each other softly, starting as one of their normal, innocent pecks. Throwing caution to the wind, Lucy parted her lips, urging Natsu to do the same. He followed her lead, allowing her to mold her lips with his.

Their movements were sloppy at first, but it was reassuring to know that they were each other's firsts. They found their own rhythm quickly, their lips washing over each other smoothly. Lucy was pleasantly surprised to find that Natsu's mouth was warm against hers.

They only broke apart to catch their breath, their faces flushed with heat as they panted.

"How was it?" Natsu asked, peering into her brown orbs. He ducked his face behind his scarf to hide his blush, along with the prideful smirk growing over his face at the hazy look she was giving him.

"G-Good!"

"Good. Let's go home." His eyes glazed over her, admiring the way her dress flattered her curves. "You look really hot by the way."

"I've been waiting to hear you say that!" Lucy exclaimed. She planted her hands on her hips. "Sheesh, I was starting to think that the dress wasn't a good fit for me!"

"What? 'Course it's a good fit, weirdo."

"Then why did it take you so long to say something? Hell, even Gray said something before you!"

"Because the others were there! I wasn't gonna say something in front of them! They've been teasing me enough today as it is now that they found out we're dating!"

"Alright, fine. As long as you think I look good."

Natsu eyed her again, his tongue darting out and wetting his lips again. "Really good."

"L-Let's just get home," Lucy replied, ignoring the sensation that was building up within the pit of her stomach.

Natsu nodded, lacing their fingers together once again. He glanced towards his girlfriend, admiring the way the moonlight washed over her features. Even in the night, her eyes shined brightly. He loved this girl with every fiber of his being, and he now knew she felt the same. Despite having an endless life, he was more sure than anything that he would never forget this night.

#fairy tail #nalu #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #ftfanfiction #tddup #til death do us part #super writes

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