#all of my opinions are correct when it comes to playing cars

[inkmo]

went to report a rammer on forza and i noticed they had a 'feedback and suggestions' option in their support tickets, so i decided "why not? i have thoughts about this game". two and half hours later my partner had to get my attention to remind me we needed lunch and it was already 4 p.m. my last therapist said i don't have ADD. long rant under the cut. I'm 100% correct, btw.

Generally, i think this is a really great game when everything is working right. It's just about the only one i'm playing these days. I came to it from Assetto Corsa and Gran Turismo, so I have some modest sim racing experience that informs my expectations. Anyway, here is a list of features i'd like to see some day, some comments, etc:

the option to auto-sell most cars that are won in wheel spins when racing online (currently the car goes straight to your garage). Perhaps a slider based on value or rarity. removing cars from my garage by hand is a very time consuming experience.

on that note, i feel some utility to easily manage downloaded tunes, paintjobs, and garage cars would be greatly appreciated. even if it's an external program that doesn't run in game. at current, tunes can only be deleted when you are in the car they apply to, and paints and cars have to be deleted one at a time, which is very time consuming with menu lag (my xbox takes a while to do this each time, and I have had a few marathon sessions where I'd spend half the day just deleting and organizing things in my garage). in the my paints menu, thumbnails take a very long time to load, and deleting one sends you back to the front. perhaps a toggle for whether it is currently on a car in my garage or not would help, too. and a way to see what tune i have on my car and who made it. it's necessary to delete tunes at times because of the limited number you can have. if you don't have the tune in your collection to compare against the car, it can be really easy to forget exactly what you have that car for. my workaround for this has been to devise a paint color system (red cars for power, blue for road and street, orange for dirt, green for offroad, black gray or white for purists, chrome for highway pulls. i think i might need another color specification for hotwheels cars and to differentiate between circuit and sprint cars) but this requires a high number of paints to be saved. my workaround for that is to just buy a fresh car and specify the solid color I want there. this seems to not use a paint save slot. maybe there can be an option to click on for each car in your garage so you can remember if a car is for rally or street racing etc…

and on that note, menus take a very very long time to load, and selections are never acknowledged right away. it's been two years and I still find myself pressing the button repeatedly in menus when i select things because i just can't tell if it really registered or not. sometimes when i enter an event, it can take up to twenty seconds for my thumbnails to load on the car select screen, and this can get a little nerve wracking when the timer's counting down. I still have an xbox one, and i think there is a chance this could be more of an xbox one problem than an fh5 problem.

constraints/settings for events for tire choice, drive train, engine swaps, maybe even a locked tune that can be purchased and installed at the event car selection screen for spec racing and club time trials. for instance, i LOVE RWD dirt racing, but RWD cars are not very competitive when AWD cars are in the mix.

the option to race expert, pro, and unbeatable drivatars if you want in the weekly playlist events. i like these events because they enforce some variety in car choices, and i just like getting to check things off a list, but the actual racing tends to be a snooze.

even unbeatable drivatars tend to do mystifylingly stupid things every race. mostly jerking the wheel hard on straightaways for no reason, or parking it on corner apexes needlessly, especially in sweeping turns where i would expect to be able to follow flat out. i realize that they can't actually be that good if you want to have a chance of catching them in only three laps, but single player often feels like i'm just trying to get past 9 or 10 mobile chicanes so i can actually race with the one or two real competitors up front.

i don't always have xbox live gold, and single player freeroam can be a real shitshow at times. mostly it's encountering drivatars just parked in the middle of the road (I guess they're mimicking real players that pause while driving? I do that sometimes), or that there seems to be a few places on the map that spawn loads of drivatars at once. like i'd almost without fail encounter an 8 to 10 car roadblock on the sweeping downhill south of guanajuato leading to the stadium/street scene for instance. i know horizon life and horizon solo can't be the exact same experience, but i came to find driving in freeroam in horizon solo at times infuriating.

head-to-heads ought to punish players for leaving the road. they always devolve into eliminator style as-the-crow-flies racing when they actually happen. that's just not racing, and it's why i guess you see people doing them so rarely. the real freeroam racing seems to mostly be at the drag strips and on the tarmac side of the mountain. (by the way, the tarmac side of the mountain is a masterpiece. chef's kiss. good work.)

backmarkers should be ghosted in online lobbies. I didn't know this was an issue, but I accidentally rear ended a guy pretty hard the other day who i was going to lap, because I expected to just ghost right through him. I don't think i've ever encountered trouble makers hanging around at one point on track to try and ram the leaders when they come through, so i can't comment as to whether this would help with that. wall riding should maybe be punished harder, too. i saw someone wallriding at HMC in the trial last week, and it was good enough to keep him in front of all the unbeatable drivatars. but that's also the only time i've ever seen someone wallride like that in this game, so it's perhaps not a big problem. i didn't even know it was something i could report people for until today.

can it be possible to turn off some particle effects when racing online? it's pretty common to get stuck behind people who can't or won't put the power down right in fast corners. this makes a smoke screen that's impossible to see through. i'm not sure exactly what amount of power and angle starts making big smoke; I don't notice my tires smoking if I'm using slip angle in a turn, though, and i don't recall seeing drivatars do this.

i use the braking line only setting, because there are just too many car and track choices to truly internalize. i've noticed the braking line tends to 'lie' on hotwheels races. it seems like i'm always braking too late in hard braking zones in hotwheels races, but this doesn't seem to be a problem in mexico or badlands. is it just me?

this is just a polish thing, but what if players that use the borrow car option get a random manufacturer color instead of every car being the default color. just to add some variety to the grid.

another polish thing: the Buick GNX has a bump map or UVs problem on its doors. my 3D modeling knowledge is a little lacking, but SOMETHING makes that car look like it has a big dent in its doors on the trailing edge.

i loved the stock car trials you guys were doing for a minute a year or two ago. i remember the one with the porsche desert flyer was really fun, especially when i realized i could set the car up (this car has a very short gearbox, but it's a race gearbox -- and anyone that didn't think to tune theirs was a sitting duck). on the other hand, i also learned i could get away with building those cars to have more power as long as the PI was still the same as the stock option, so maybe that should be fixed). on the other hand, i thought the mini and landrover offroad B class trial the other week was total dogwater. idk what it was.. maybe i just don't like those cars. the mini john cooper works buggy x-raid seems to be particularly underpowered no matter what i use it for. I would love to see more stock car trials in the future.

i wish we could have the oval in freeroam all the time.

i think you guys did nothing wrong with the blower bentley forzathon. it was early in the game for me and i had to grind to just buy the thing, but i didn't think it was that bad…

an option to fire A class boneshaker drivers into the sun. J/k! A class rods and customs tours tend to turn into boneshaker only, and that's kinda fun. boneshaker cup someday perhaps? consider it won't you? ;-)

((i think the meta is a little wonky in general. for instance, drag tires make for some of the best road racing builds in B class. rally tires are hands down some of the best road racing tires in A class and above. Rally tires are almost never used for rallying because offroads handle dirt better, allow some PI for more horsepower, and aren't that much of a hindrance on road (ex: I won every event in the trial yesterday (A class Lexus Road events) on offroads. I accidentally grabbed one of my rally cars instead of the road build I'd made, but that rally car was still good enough to win). muscle cars with whitewalls seem to be one of the choice build types for hotwheels hazard and offroad events. in fact hotwheels open seems to devolve to a small handful of power meta cars that are the only viable competitors, and that's why i guess it seemed so dead when i was still doing it. I guess my thinking is tire and drivetrain constraints could reel the meta game in a bit, and we'd see fewer people griping about "bring clean cars, no forza aero, tires etc" in looking for group posts and on reddit. after my first couple months playing this game, i had to go and do research about the build/tuning meta because i realized i just wasn't fielding competitive cars most of the time. maybe this is actually the correct way to play the game if you care about it. i've raced enough in sims that i knew racecraft wasn't my issue. and i think this might not ever occur to players that don't already have experience with racing games. i'm not sure it's really possible to learn in game what a 'good' car looks and drives like. the game won't teach you and the autoupgrade seems to be nearly useless in this regard. you have to go looking on reddit or youtube for good tuners to follow, and be willing to take notes.))

that's about everything i can think of off the top of my head right now. this seems like a lot, but i love this game and have thought about it a lot the last couple of years. and i know y'all have done quite a bit to fix things. game crashes are fewer now it seems. i'm genuinely surprised these days if i get it to crash, but it was a pretty common occurrence a year or so ago.

p.s. attaching a fan art i drew of the nissan tsuru just because i like you guys. have a good day :)

oh, i just remembered. the existence of 'rivals lines' strikes me as a problem. this is where the checkpoint gates don't adequately constrain the track boundaries and players can cut, or go way off road to carry more speed into an otherwise slow corner. are these by design?

one more thing. and i can't believe i forgot it because this was at the forefront of my mind when i started writing. we really need some sort of car proximity marker or radar in first person views. like in Assetto Corsa or Gran Turismo. i find 3rd person racing kind of disorienting so i'm always in dash or bonnet view. i think most of the time when i make contact, it's turning into cars that are significantly alongside during corner entry. I just don't know that they're there until it's too late.

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [1] - A Night Out

A.N: Here we go my loves, the first chapter! ❤️ I hope you'll like it, and please don't forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤️

Summary: A night out with an old friend can lead to surprises.

Warnings: Violence, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don't condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Sometimes you wondered what it would be like to have a normal life.

Granted that was never in the cards but you liked to pretend from time to time. You knew it was selfish and incredibly dangerous as everyone kept reminding you, yet you didn’t care. After all, it was one of the very few luxuries you couldn’t afford and you were nothing if not determined.

Besides, considering since you were expected not to be a part of the family business, you figured you could enjoy the benefits for the time being.

So far, there was no sign of any bodyguards your father always made sure to put on your tail which meant he was blissfully unaware of where you were or what you were doing. If it were any other time, you would have been surprised by that alone but surprises seemed to be the theme of the week. To be completely honest, you had your doubts when your ex from college had contacted you to say he was moving to the city and wanted to catch up with you. Even though he was one of the very few ex-boyfriends you had broken up with on good terms, he still had an inkling about your family and most of the time, people were too intimidated by that to catch up with you.

With good reason.

But tonight was going to be different. Setting up a casual dinner and drinks night outside your father’s territory was a great first step for in your opinion, for a couple of hours you could pretend you were a normal girl who was having a normal night out with a normal guy.

You even drove your own car to the bar, something you hadn’t done in a long time.

“So yeah, let’s just say that it wasn’t the wisest decision.”

You let out a laugh, tilting your head.

“I don’t know Ethan,” you said. “Taking a girl to a horror themed corn maze? You get an A for effort.”

“In my defense, it was like two weeks after you broke up with me so I wasn’t thinking straight,” he said. “Besides, she said she liked horror movies.”

You hummed. “And how did that go?”

“Terribly,” he pointed out with a grin. “We got lost, and then I had this bright idea of finding the guide myself and we went in different directions, and she got out and I ended up getting even more lost.”

You pressed your palm on your mouth to hide your laugh.

“Then she sent the guide to find me,” he said and you cleared your throat, trying to keep a serious expression.

“You do realize you are the type of person who wouldn’t last an hour in a horror movie, right?”

“People who are trying to survive in horror movies have too much ambition if you ask me,” he said and sipped his drink. “How about you? Any terrible dates since our uh…fairytale romance?”

“We dated for like three months during sophomore year Ethan,” you said with a laugh and he nodded with a grin.

“They were good three months though.”

“Oh please,” you said. “I’m not even sure I could call that dating, I basically had to beg you to spend time with me.”

“We spent a lot of time—”

“In daylight,” you corrected yourself. “You had no problem finding time for me at night.”

He scrunched up his face, then nodded his head.

“Yeah,” he admitted. “Yeah I’m…I’m sorry about that. I was an ass.”

“Water under the bridge,” you said, waving a hand dismissively. “College is the perfect time for relationship mistakes, and to be honest I was kind of an idiot.”

“Oh come on Y/N,” he said with a chuckle. “I was the idiot. You were perfect, you still are.”

You scoffed.

“Not even close, trust me,” you said and raised your hand at the bartender, motioning for another drink. The bar wasn’t crowded by any means, only another couple by another booth and three men playing pool. A silence fell upon you and Ethan shifted his weight.

“So uh—can I ask you something?”

Your heart skipped a nervous beat but you made sure it didn’t show on your face. “Sure.”

“Was it…” he paused and took a deep breath. “Was it true?”

The waitress brought you your drink and you thanked her, then turned to Ethan again. “Hm?”

“You know, back in college there were all these rumors,” he stammered. “About your family and you never really said— whether they were true or not.”

Ah. Back to that, of course.

You had practiced this calmness way too many times for it to falter even for a moment, and you sipped your drink.

“I totally forgot,” you said. “Remind me what those rumors were?”

“People used to say your father—he and his business partners, I mean,” he said with a nervous laugh. “My friends used to say the city was divided between them.”

“Sounds quite medieval,” you pointed out, leaning back as a couple of men walked in, chattering. Ethan thought for a moment, then scoffed a laugh.

“Right,” he said. “I don’t know why I…don’t mind me. It does sound unreal, I mean—what are the chances that a couple of families rule the entire city, right?”

“I don’t know, I hear it was a thing in the 18th century,” you stated, catching the gaze of the man who had just walked up to the bar and ordered a drink. You eyed him up and down and by the time your gaze fell on the shape of the gun tucked underneath his jacket, you had already straightened your back, your whole body going tense.

“Jesus you should’ve heard the things they said. To be honest with you, I actually believed that whole underworld thing for some time,” Ethan said as the man said something to his friends while your eyes darted around the room, your heartbeat getting faster as you reached for the knife beside your plate.

Great.

This was not your ideal night out alright.

“Now to think about it, it’s not—”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence when you threw the knife at one of the men and kicked the chair under Ethan, making him lose his balance before you flipped the table so that you could use it as a cover for you both as soon as the shooting started. The bullets wheezed past you, the couple by the other booth screaming while you pushed Ethan’s head down.

“What the hell is going on?!” he asked as you looked over the table for a second and turned to him, your heart beating in your ears, adrenaline rushing through you so fast that it made your head spin.

“I can explain later, do you have a gun with you?”

“What?!”

“I don’t think I should be repeating myself right now Ethan!” you hissed as shots echoed through the bar and he shook his head.

“No of course not!”

“The one time I ditch the bodyguards,” you grumbled “This is unbelievable…”

“Miss Y/N!” the man’s voice rang over the bar and you gritted your teeth. “The infamous princess. Such a surprise meeting you here, where are your daddy’s men?”

“On their way here I’m guessing but before they get here, I just have one question,” you called out. “Are you guys fucking idiots?”

He tsk tsked.

“That daddy of yours spoiled you too much,” he said. “Has anyone told you that?”

“Yeah, multiple men,” you retorted. “Didn’t end well for them I’ll tell you that.”

“I’d say it looks like it’ll end well for me.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure buddy,” you said. “I’ll be surprised if you last the night.”

Several gunshots came from the corners of the bar, and you took cover again but before you could say anything else, you felt someone grab you and pull you upright. You grabbed the gun from him and fired it right at his knee, making him let out a scream of anguish and fall to the floor. The door of the kitchen was kicked open right before more guns were fired in the chaos which made it clear that it wasn’t Steve’s men who were trying to shoot you considering it was his territory, this was his one of many bars and these new people, whoever they were, were shooting at his men as well. It made absolutely zero sense that someone would attack you like this, especially since—

“Everyone stop or the next bullet goes through his head!”

 You turned to point the pistol at the owner of the voice but as soon as you did, your heart dropped to your stomach. The man –probably the leader— holding the gun at Ethan’s head smirked and motioned at you.

“Drop the gun sweetheart.”

“Y/N, don’t!” Ethan said, trying to get out of his grip but the man fired the gun through his shoulder, making him yell out in pain and you gritted your teeth. The headlights of a car flashed outside, capturing your attention for a moment before you lowered the gun, someone hastily grabbing it from you. The leader pushed Ethan to one of his friends and stepped closer to you, now aiming the gun at your face but you were way too good at keeping your fear under control in situations like these to flinch at it.

You’d had a lifetime of practice after all.

“So what do you say we take a little trip outside huh?” he asked and you arched a brow.

“What do you say you go fuck yourself?”

He cocked the gun and you rolled your eyes.

“Oh no, a gun,” you deadpanned, checking your fingernails. “Am I supposed to be scared now?”

“This is not your daddy’s territory, girl.”

You scoffed a laugh and lifted your glances from your nails. “Doesn’t matter, you idiot. The truce has been going on for years now, and anyone who breaks it will pay for that mistake with their lives. What is this, your first day on the job?”

“No one taught you not to smart mouth the man holding the gun?”

“No one taught you not to sign your own death sentence?” you asked back and he gave you a dry chuckle, taking a step towards you, still holding the gun.

“Keep talking like that,” he said. “Maybe I’ll take my time with you before handing you over to the boss.”

You opened your mouth to retort but before you could say anything, a deafening shot echoed through the room and blood splattered all over your face and your dress. The leader’s lifeless body dropped to the floor and you wiped at your face with a grimace before you turned to glare at your savior who looked almost amused at your annoyed expression.

“Bucky,” you gritted out and he winked at you, that arrogant grin you knew so well pulling at his lips.

“Hi Charm.”

[otdiaftg]

The King's Men - Chapter Three

Day: Friday, January 5th Time: 11:25 PM EST

He took the tray with unsteady hands and brought it back to the table. He wanted to send Kevin away, but Andrew would never let him get far without a guard. Luckily Kevin couldn't speak a word of German. Neil sat sideways in his chair, facing Andrew, and said, "Why does Roland think you're tying me down?" Andrew hesitated with his glass halfway to his mouth. He glanced down at Neil's hands where they were clenched on the edge of the seat between his knees. Neil didn't look to see if the angry lines were showing again. He couldn't take his eyes off Andrew's face. At length Andrew put his full shot back on the tray. He didn't let go of it completely but tapped his fingers on the rim in an uneven beat. It seemed an eternity before he finally dragged his stare up from Neil's hands to his face. "Presumably he thinks you're as bad at following directions as he is," Andrew said. "Roland knows I don't like being touched." "That doesn't answer my question." "It is the answer," Andrew said. "Rephrase the question if you don't like it." "I want to play another round," Neil said. "What's outside Coach's pay grade?" Andrew shifted in his seat to face Neil and propped his elbow on the back of his chair. He cradled his face in his hand and considered Neil. He didn't look at all bothered by the sudden interrogation but that calm did nothing to ease the gnawing in Neil's stomach. "When Coach signed us, he promised to stay out of our personal problems. He said the board paid him to be our coach, nothing more and nothing less." That answer wasn't much better. Neil wasn't sure he should keep pushing, but if he didn't get the truth now he knew he never would. "I didn't think I was a personal problem. You hate me, remember?" "Every inch of you," Andrew said. "That doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you." The world tilted a little bit sideways. Neil dug his shoes harder into the floor so he wouldn't fall over. "You like me." "I hate you," Andrew corrected him, but Neil barely heard him. For a dizzying moment, he understood. He remembered Andrew's hand over his mouth in Exites as he backed out of their conversation. He thought of Andrew yielding to his prodding and holding him up when Neil needed him most. Andrew had called him interesting and dangerous and had given him keys to his house and car. He'd trusted Neil with Kevin because Kevin was important to both of them and he knew Neil wouldn't let him down. Neil tried to piece it all together, but the more he pushed, the faster it fell apart. It didn't make sense. He didn't know what he was supposed to think. It could be a lie, but Neil knew it wasn't. Andrew was a lot of unpleasant things, but a pathological liar wasn't one of them. Honesty suited Andrew because he was an instigator at heart and his opinions were often unpopular. It took Neil three tries to find his voice. "You never said anything." "Why should I have?" Andrew lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Nothing will come of it." "Nothing," Neil echoed. "I am self-destructive, not stupid," Andrew said. "I know better." There was nothing Neil could say except, "Okay," but it didn't sound okay and he didn't feel okay. What was Neil supposed to do with a truth like this? He was going to be dead in four months, five if he was lucky. He wasn't supposed to be this for anyone, Andrew least of all. Andrew said all year long—had said it to Neil's face just this week—that he didn't want anything. Neil shouldn't be the exception to that rule. Andrew downed his shot and dropped the glass carelessly back on the tray. He pried his cigarette pack out of his back pocket on his way to his feet and flicked it open to check the contents. Neil should let him leave unchallenged, but he said, "It's your turn." Andrew shook a stick into his hand and propped it between his lips. The pack was safely tucked away again before he looked at Neil. "I do not have to take it now."

Art used with permission by smokesontheroof. Thank you @smokesontheroof!

[3416]

1634 primer (2015-2023)

since my brain refuses to let me think about anything BUT the toronto maple leafs these days, i've decided to compile info/links/photos/videos of the dynamic on the team i personally find most compelling, charming, heartwarming, hilarious: mitch marner and auston matthews (aka 1634 aka the heart and soul of this current leafs team in my humble opinion). this will cover the beginning of their nhl careers to the end of the 22-23 season. for anything from 2023 summer onwards, here’s part 2.

i will be citing my sources, but if any info needs corrected or there are things i've missed, don't be afraid to hmu. i've only been around for a couple months so 🫡 😘 ✌️ this is going to be long-winded (almost 4k kinds of long-winded...) let's DO IT:

2015-2017 (rookie era)

in june 2015, mitch marner is drafted to his hometown team, going 1st round 4th overall in more beginnings of an effort to rebuild the leafs franchise. here are photos from that day. here's an athletic article about why they picked him that makes me cry. 

in april 2016, auston matthews is drafted 1st overall and is basically deemed the savior of the toronto maple leafs from the jump. here are pics from that. (please look at the one below of auston putting on a 16 leaf jersey on draft day and tell me that wasn't fate of SOME sort... i know it's the year but. THE VIBES. the what's-to-come of it all) (here’s a sportsnet documentary on auston/his journey to the nhl).

they played against each other at the 2016 world juniors (dec 2015-jan 2016). here they are on the cover of world hockey news before they had even met... as boys to watch in the hockey world

according to mitch, the first time they actually met was when he said hi to auston in an elevator at world juniors. then mitch says the night auston was drafted, he was at a concert and everyone started an auston matthews chant that he was 100000% in on and excited about. and it was pretty early on in development days that they became instant friends. here's the vid @ ~4:21 and here's a gifset

during their very first day of training camp, auston broke a pane of glass off of a pass from mitch when they were just messing around (again.... fate). here's the vid and here's an article about it

here's them fighting each other for the puck at camp... there's something about it that makes me emotional... their tenacity as rookies...

one of the first ever hangouts recorded on social media... they went to a fair or smth august 2016 (gifs)

at first, they didn't play together very much. in fact, through a lot of the coach mike babcock era (2015-2019), they weren't linemates at all, as auston usually had willy on his right wing. (here's an article justifying that decision from babcock)

that didn't stop them from developing a lot of habits and routines together though. this whole half of a morning skate interview with mitch... "hopefully we're together for a long time and can build up some great chemistry" "that's a big part of what me and matts try to do when we drive together, just keeping it light and have fun with each other" (gifs... it kills me)

"Not only are Matthews and Mitch Marner clicking on their respective forward lines, they are having a good time in the car driving to and from practice and games."

they used to come into the the arena in the same ways on game days (watch any leafs blueprint ep from this time... they’re always getting off the bus together or walking into scotiabank together attached at the hip), went out of their way to greet the doormen and staff, sometimes showed up in matching outfits as evidenced here, here, here, and honestly.. so many more times. it’s about the coordination... the texting each other their fits.

the famous copycat hat moment (gifs).... their goofy responses and getting chirped on twitter about it by everyone and stamkos) (auston’s smile)

they started making sure they were coming out onto the ice together for warmups, always in line toward the back (still the same to this very day). here (x, x, x, x) are just a couple shots of that... they have a handshake they do on their way out (still to this day also), and i think this is the one of the first times it was recorded.

and on the rare occasion they DID get to play together... they were always the Most™ excited and cute about it. here's them talking about playing on the same line, here and here and here are some first moments of cellying that deserve to be looked at for 10000 years... just pure excitement and joy

here's mitch hopping right on into a ridiculous fight on auston's behalf. and here are their responses about it in the media afterward (cute, loyal, grateful).. and here’s auston pissed about an uncalled shove on mitch ... even though they’re not big fighters, they ARE big defenders of one another

2016 centennial classic where they were so cute (x x x x x)

there are lots of practice photos/vids and media of them around or mentioning each other obviously (like this hug at a scrimmage that kills me personally), but anther one of my favorite standout days was this practice when auston had mitch falling on the ground in laughter. gifs: "I think a lot of people don’t understand how big of a jokester he is at times. He’s always pretty serious, but that’s not his kind of personality at all" (pics)

so many bench shenanigans (literally too many to try to round up)

(what i assume is) a broadcast quote i can't seem to track down but so many ppl have used it for edits and gifs that i believe it: “They love him, clearly Auston Matthews loves him.” ... they're always saying the most ridiculous things about them as a pair

case in point.. they also said this: "Matthews and Marner together - their eyes light up […] They've been dying to play together." (basically confirmation vid here from auston.. his hopeful little smile, help)

one of the most iconic moments has to be the time the camera caught them singing 'livin' on a prayer' together on the bench and it became a whole thing in the media. here's the moment, their responses (gifs, gifs), and bon jovi's response too.

they used to play video games as a unit and basically annoy the shit out of everyone. thanks zach hyman for the confirmation: “They have this whole strategy, whenever we play. Auston sits in the back and snipes, and Mitch runs around and looks for you. They have this whole little strategy they put together. And then they laugh. They start dying laughing. They’re clowns.”

they have so many oddball social media interactions and a lot of them are probably lost to time but: here's a meme of mitch being part of both of their twitter profiles, here's some petulant mitch getting clowned on and compared to mickey mouse, here's more auston making fun of him for looking 12, “can’t be a boys week when your gfs are there...... but u look nice :)”, purp.... the joint ootd.. who was doing it like them?, “getty images”, “walking advertisement”

holding bozak’s baby together at the xmas party (gifs)

golfing, hanging out at the mall, shopping

despite their very complimentary talk of each other in media, they're also not afraid to razz each other. "he gets sensitive sometimes", "just kind of get him grinding", auston chirping mitch and the insurance ads he does, mitch making fun of his hair (pre balding era... wonder if that’s off limits now LOL)

here’s a vid of the 2016 leaf rookies at a christmas market... mitch and auston were very cute... mitch uploaded a story of them on the ferris wheel smiling their asses off too

auston recording him on his ig story here and here while they were filming this batting practice vid

here’s a goalie challenge video mitch and auston did with matt martin and barstool back in the day (”don’t take slapshots” “you took seven”)

here are some misc gifsets from this time period: x x x x x x

i'll end this section with a couple of my favorite and the most iconic game pictures from this era... 

if you're curious about more stuff from the rookie days, i highly recommend checking out this initial 1634 primer from @/zoehickel, @/thiccbrock's soft bros tag, and @/mitchski's auston x mitch tag (pro tip: add "/chrono" at the end if you want to see everything chronologically).

2018-2020 (not-so-rookie era)

nothing extremely important or concrete separates this timeline but mitch and auston clearly started to grow into their roles on the team and were no longer just rookies (altho i compiled some very basic stats from wikipedia and both of them have just been crazy talented and at the top of team goals/assists/stats almost every year since they were drafted.. they’ve never really been ‘just rookies’ but )

from what i gather, early 2018 was one of the first sightings of mitch's drawings on his gloves... a habit that auston had also been into since his rookie year... mitch started doing this toward the tail end of the hardass babcock days as a reminder that hockey is supposed to be about having fun (here's a not-official-seeming article about their clashes w babcock) (here are some pics of the doodled gloves of that era)

here’s an article talking about how much mitch and auston loved playing together and tried to take advantage of it and prove to babcock they should be allowed more often (also includes goofy bts content of them sharing a fantasy football team)

babcock got fired bc of nasty coaching tactics (here’s a story on what he did to mitch as a rookie), and in came sheldon keefe, who is more mild-mannered and is willing to experiment with auston and mitch playing together so they got more time as linemates these years.

auston and mitch developed a warmup routine together before games where they stayed on the ice a bit longer than everyone else and passed the puck back and forth (here are some vids from this time period: x x x x x)

the team did a big nhl video game faceoff early 2018, and mitch was auston's #1 hype man about it: gasin him up, helping him warm up, sittin behind him making commentary, and acting like it was his own personal victory when auston won

instagram teasing for mitch’s 22nd bday... “babe !”

they participated in this ‘need for speed’ challenge video with natalie spooner and laura stacey to promote the canadian women’s hockey league... competitive dorks is all i have to say about that.

at the end of 2018, mitch and auston took part in a real production of the nutcracker as cannon dolls... and it is as absurd and amusing as it sounds. famous quotes from the event include: “he couldn’t let go of me”, “that’s what friends are for”, “mitch could just sit around and pout the whole time which he’s so used to doing”...  here's the vid (gifs) (pics w ballerina) (more goofy pics) (ig story)

some cute practice pics

in 2019, apple had them film a commercial where auston just followed mitch around titled Mitch Marner Shot on iPhone by Auston Matthews... (gifs) (tumblr vid) (more gifs) just any excuse to talk about it forever... it's arguably one of the greatest things they've ever done... pov of dreams tbh. here's another snippet that didn’t make the cut of them laughing... here’s some gifs of ANOTHER snippet.. and here’s an article about auston with some quotes about how he and mitch are great friends and they were just going to “their” favorite places in toronto that day. (also THEIR favorite restaurant being sotto... the exact place mitch/steph go on very special dates apparently according to this pandemic leaf to leaf... food for thought)

another thing about auston and mitch... they WILL be forming unbreakable bonds with people on the team like it's a group activity, and the most formative for them was probably patrick marleau, who basically became their dad for the 2017-2019 seasons. they would always hang out on the road together, watch movies and go to dinner, etc etc. one time mitch n patty when on vaca without auston... ymca in the car with patty and his sons... “he’s obviously old but he acts even younger than me and mitch”... mitch and auston singing happy birthday to him... here’s a christmas party pic of them that kills me... that here's a video where they talk about their relationship... here's another long interview they did together during lockdown... here is an emotional gifset about the three of them, and below are pictures of the family unit (and one rather... interesting... see: the 3rd pic) (here are pics from 2023 when the marleaus came to a leafs game)

morgan rielly on mitch and auston: “[they] are like best friends. they’re different personalities... when you watch the dynamic with the two of them, whether it’s on the road or on a practice day, it’s pretty funny. it changes every year. it’s a unique dynamic for sure.” and him on mitch/auston/patty also

here’s mitch and auston honoring patty with an appearance from the truly wild jumbo

another case of the trio vibes would be freddie andersen, who was on the team 2016-2021. he was basically besties with auston and they spent lockdown together later, but during the 2020 all star game, all three of them attended and freddie, dedicated his goalie helmet to his best friendship w them. "you look cute?" "yeah, i look cute." ..... also here’s some pre-game high five rituals with the three

more all star content: failed attempted at a heart, the blueprint ep (gifs)

the style/clothes content continues... auston was featured in gq mag and here's mitch's giggly reaction to it. "he's a big style guy and i respect it" (gifs)

auston attended a marner assist foundation event in 2018 to support mitch's charity work (some sm pics from here and here)... also went to the marner assist invitational and got dragged for his tape job (here’s a selfie w them)

here’s some intense cellys from this era: like hello? .. SWEET PEAS... this bench moment....... whatever this was

“Marner and Matthews entered the NHL together in 2016-17 and remain good friends and road roommates now. Marner sounded genuinely enthused about his buddy’s new contract, and sent him a text once word broke Tuesday joking that they’re going to have to figure out where to be neighbours once they enter a higher tax bracket next season.” fellas.... is it gay to plan your future in the suburbs of toronto together 

here they are dancing at naz kadri’s wedding ... hand check

which teammate does auston matthews like to watch the most? the answer won’t surprise you!

mitch was planning to stream and play nhl with this random streamer during lockdown and auston literally asked to join and hang... “matts, i’ll talk to you.. in like an hour probably” aka mitch is a constant texter/talker (ALSO here is a twitter thread recounting to the experience since the streams gone forever... rip 2020-2021 mitch the streamer)

here are some of my favorite pictures from this time period:

2021-present (superstar era)

they're both alternate captains, very clearly leaders of this team, and basically recognized as superstars in the league too with continued individual success. they're the last ones out on the ice at warmup still, the first ones to cheer for their teammates milestones, the last ones to give the goalies big hugs after wins. they still don’t always play together 100% of the time, but they individually enhance the players around them and have played career high years when they’re at each other’s sides.

confirmation of their warmup rituals and the fact that it's something they've been doing together, to feel good about themselves, since the very beginning ........ the same as back then .... here’s very recent vid

still doing their little handshake too, with the added bonus of a behind-the-back one too sometimes (mitch does the handshake line for the whole team by this point)

"it really seems like we're not cellying really by ourselves. we're constantly going in to hug each other. i think that just shows the amount of joy and happiness we have going for each other right now."

mitch basically assisted on a large percentage of auston's goals these past few record breaking years that they've been allowed to play together. here's a video after the 21-22 season where mitch talks about how thankful and generous auston has been.

here is a tumblr compilation about their chemistry after they've gotten to play significant stretches as linemates (literally part of the most offensively dangerous line in the 21-22 regular season).

“have you ever had this kind of chemistry with another teammate before in your life?” “no, not really”

they're so silly... so much goofy inconsequential content is out there but: mitch fighting the post that hurt matthews at practice.

here’s mitch checking on auston after he took a puck in the knee at practice

forgotten 2021 christmas vid i can’t track down but. matching mugs and whipped cream mustaches. also just look at them in THIS...

the fashion saga continues.. where here they anecdotally have the same spikey high top/low top shoes (they also have lots of random matching sneakers but i’m not knowledgeable enough to compile those)

this media day fashion trend video... where do you even start with this. “you better put some earrings in here for auston” like auston is the center of his fashion conscience. “i won’t wear one of those.. i don’t think... maybe.. we’ll see” you know DAMn well if auston recommended--- “matts has got those- he’s got a big frame”

they both wear chains with their numbers on them (recent fit pics of auston here and mitch here), and though they’re not exactly matching but the coordination, the knowing they talk about fashion and accessories... them having these chains dates back to 2018 btw

their mutual social media hype for each other's accomplishments never gets old: mitch breaking game point streak in 2022... random overtime winner in 2022... auston hitting 50 goals in 21-22 season... "@austonmatthews what an achievement. proud to be a part of this journey with you"... "congrats to my brother @austonmatthews on his historic night"... “couldn’t have done it without my boys”.... they were so extra just bc of a pic of them hugging... like sure ! ... “my fucking guy is a beast” YOUR guy?? .... mitch basically campaigning for individual awards for auston every time he scored a goal ... “well deserved my dog” “lets go baby” when he finally won them... “new range got that dawg in it”

“[auston’s] always very thankful. he’s done a couple really big thank yous for me already and given me a couple things that i’m just gonna keep between us two... he’s a great guy and obviously deserves what he got.”

in the same way they grow attached to people as a pair, michael bunting joined the team and auston and mitch's top line in 2021 and a best friendship blossomed between the trio.

they went to auston's home in arizona over the 2022 summer to "build chemistry", play golf, play tennis, and just generally hang out

they also potentially celebrated auston’s birthday there because here’s a photo of them at auston’s house with his fav chef and here’s auston with his bday cake in the same outfit ...... best friends

went to a jays game together right at the beginning of the season, this image..... a video of them chatting :’) 

here is bunting talking about what it's like to get to know them

iconic bench moment between the three of them... another cutesy one

the 2022 heritage classic costumes/entry together like usual, plus the new trio, plus practice pic

their 2022-2023 gloves where they are still drawing cute little doodles of hearts and dog initials and smileys to remind themselves to have fun

"i think the sky's the limit for [mitch]. i think he's just unbelievable. i love playing with him. i think after he came back, he was probably the best player in the world for the rest of the year. he's incredible to be out there with and watch."

commentators weighing in on their joint legacy and saying “they’re magic out there together. they are what they are because of each other” 

here are some more quotes about their impact on the franchise and the way their names are basically cemented in history... the modern day odd couple, they say

for auston’s birthday in sep 2022, mitch commissioned a drawing of auston and his dog felix as a gift

speaking of their dogs..... this goofy insta story 

auston feeding mitch a golf club at a charity event? or are they using it as a mic... who can dissect their weird antics

the blueprint episode about mitch has some cute bg stuff of them (gifs), as well as one of my fave little head bonks here

some cellys/bench moments these years too bc they don’t stop: big squeeze... he just lauched himself... i just love them... arms wide open... mitch is a cartoon character... what in the hell is THIS... iconic moment ... 22-23 season cellys so far.... this riveting convo

“all of this doesn‘t really happen without him.” okay another unverifiable quote but like. look at those images and tell me it’s not something he’d say... you can‘t

auston asked about mitch trade rumors: "Mitch is an unbelievable player, he's an unbelievable teammate. In this room, everybody loves Mitch; everybody loves everybody. We really have a tight bond. All the noise coming from the outside, you guys have fun with that." 

i’m getting derailed here bc half of these moments are not that significant but i fucking love these pics of yappy auston... like of course he’s talkin to mitch

plenty of ribbing is still going on.... or at least attempts: “those are loud flip flops”... though we have transitioned into blatant confirmation that auston can and will be bossed around by mitch when he says stuff like “mitch will assault me if i don’t pick him [to bring with me to a desert island], but i’d like to have him there too”

team bonding at a lake house but you only tag mitch? that vs the history of mitch complaining about not being included...

the importance of the content we received on the 2021 media day cannot be overstated. here’s 5 questions with auston and mitch, yearbook superlatives, career day (images: x x x), and then 2022′s who’s more likely? (all must-sees, i promise... even confirm themselves as the best bromance... if i spent too long on any single revelations this post would be 500k words more)

also the 2021 leafs call out video and the 2022 leafs call out video absolutely showcase how annoyingly endearing they are about each other... whether they’re trying to harp on one another or give genuine compliments... amazing that a dynamic can be captured so clearly when they’re not even in the room at the same time

“mitchelly marner, i’m grateful for my guy” (gifs) (the new nickname... the incessant use of my guy... mental breakdown inducing)

in november 2022, mitch tied a franchise point streak record (with a very valiant effort from the whole team to get him an empty net goal in the final 2 minutes, i might add) and auston was the first one to scoop him up in celebration and then (where he’s normally :| in media these days) was very :D and proud about it and him afterwards. “i’m so happy he got it” (mitch went on to set the new record at 23 games)

and as for extremely recent, both auston and mitch hit their 500 career points mark within a week of each other (1/3/23 and 1/7/23). here are screencaps, gifs of mitch getting to hit 500 with auston on the ice.. then auston collected the puck and pretending to throw it over the glass and prompting the broadcasters to say: “they’ve celebrated so many milestones together”

here are some teammates and coaches talking about their chemistry together and the fact that they push each other to be better players and enjoy it (tumblr vid)

there’s them being hype about the fact that they were SUPPOSED to go the 2023 all star game together on instagram (auston didn’t end up going bc of injury)

here’s a 2023 athletic article about how different they are in personality but how clear their leadership and friendship is (the athletic... tumblr)

mike johnson went on a podcast pre 22-23 playoffs and said “they like playing here, they like playing with each other, they care about each other, they want to have sex– success together” .... the freudian slip 

toward the end of the 22-23 season, mitch was nearing 100 points (never made it) BUT they kept showing this graphic about how mitch has assisted on 99 of auston’s career 299 goals up to that game (ALL DESPITE THEM NOT PLAYING REGULARLY TOGETHER TIL A COUPLE YRS IN)

mitch being asked if he prefers to drive his own line or play with auston... he says it’s always fun and special to play with auston bc of their chemistry and the way they're not afraid to “give it to each other” about where they need to improve. “that’s the kind of friendship and teammate you want. that’s something we’ve built a bond over” (vid) (gifs)

mitch marner got married on july 29th 2023, and auston came back to canada (after skipping OTHER weddings like his “favorite teammate” alex kerfoot and ex teammate tyson barrie) to be in attendance :’) here’s a video of him watching mitch n steph dance there way into the reception, here’s a picture nazem kadri generously posted, here’s a pic of him with mitch and willy, here’s gifs of mitch and auston singing shirtless at the reception, and most 👀 of them all... here’s a pic of auston watching mitch and steph’s first dance. ..

here are some of my favorite more current pics of them

i also gif or post pretty much every 1634 moment from current leafs content/games, so you can check out my hockeyedit tag for some goofy bench or ice shenanigans that didn't make the cut. or my 1634 tag in general.

TL;DR

mitch marner and auston matthews were basically drafted to the maple leafs to be two of the faces of the franchise, and they share a similar burden in that with the leafs lack of playoff success thus far being leaders on the team. they’ve accomplished so many records at an individual level in tandem because of their talents and their chemistry on the ice, and they play their best and happiest hockey when they’re allowed to play together. despite different backgrounds and personalities, they’ve developed an extremely charming relationship off the ice, one built from years and years of intense mutual support, playful teasing, and a shared vision for the team. they seem to be so much more outwardly excited for each other’s successes; it becomes so easy to root for them...... regardless of what the future holds for the current maple leafs team, the two of them have done enough to have their names in the hockey history books, and we are all so lucky that there’s much more ahead of them and that we get to WATCH.

if a single person made it this far, i love you, lol. i personally will never be getting over them and am always looking for more content or unseen stuff so lmk if i missed something crucial. edit (6/18/23): if you’re looking for more pictures of them, i have removed watermarks of 95% of their images together on getty and organized them by tags on this blog @1634archive​ if you’d like to peruse!

hopefully some people get some sort of joy out of this like i have in compiling it all!! cheers to much much more 1634 in the future too. ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

last updated: 9/12/23

[aaivii]

Sooo, this my take one the Canadian Grand Prix, and as an OP81 supporter it will mostly be focused around Oscar's race and some of the people around him, so if you're expecting a race de-brief here, don't!! Also if you're an Oscar fan, do read the whole thing, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

So, he qualified P4, and again in his own words, not bad but not great either. But what's done is done unless luck decides to favour him at least fucking once and make someone else ahead of him make an error and get their penalty but they don't 😤🤷‍♀️. Some good drivers they are so.

And then in the first half of the race, my heart bloomed everytime the commentators (the Crofty and Brundle one) were like the McLaren drivers are preserving their tyres, and I was like, yes bitch!! Of course they are. I understand that these were cooler conditions so it was albeit easier, but on a situation where George was absolutely sending his tyres, these two were maintaining it. And Oscar is definitely not there yet, but the progress graph says he'll be there absolutely 100%. Cut him some slack, second season guys, remember.

So, they maintain their tires nice and good and some safety car shenanigans later, we come to the last part of the race, where I genuinely feel the McLaren strategy department fumbled a win. Might have not been a 1-2. But would definitely have been a 1-3. During the last safety car, they should have switched to hards just like Mercedes as a response because we already saw Gasly putting some serious 1 or 2 laps when the conditions were favorable. So, that was a genuine fumble.

And as for Oscar Piastri, how !! I mean, I saw some people in ig being all like, mclaren remember you have two drivers, lando should have given the drs. Golden boy blah blah. But that was a good call by Oscar to not switch. Because rarely have I seen a driver being like that. Everyone always jumps at the prospect of replacing their teammate who is clearly ahead. But he obviously played the longer game. And correct call, because Mercs were absolutely after him, so if they had fumbled that switch even by a second it would have been two mercs on that podium. So, I fully agree with his decision to not switch and also it was him fighting with mercs the longest that allowed Lando to not be jumped by Lewis or George because they were clearly the fastest.

And as for that drs call, asked by him, have to agree with that, even if it felt like swallowing a bitter pill because had Lando given him the drs it would have been sooner rather than later, getting jumped by the mercs because again they were the fastest car this weekend. And this is not some closed wall street circuit, and I know many were thinking of that Singapore moment, those were overtake is difficult, so Lando prioritising his own race was correct in my opinion, it allowed him to keep building on that gap which was crucial. Because imagine had he given that drs, mercs would have overtaken both of them and mclaren would be left with zilch.

Also, a salty and cunty part of me is all like, alright mclaren made a fumble with their drivers in terms of tyre changes and calling them to the pit at the correct time, but hey!! At least their drivers were all slick n clean throughout the whole weekend. Not same could be said for mercs whose both drivers and management fumbled a win together. Suck it!!!

And the hottest moment of the race was when George decided that he would do hard racing, around the Wall of Champions hoping Oscar would back off. But what this pootling, and hunky dory and whatever words using man forgot, that he would be racing against a man who has not once in his life lost his calmness and coolness. Fuck the Wall of Champions George Russell because before that, you'll have to face the unfazed Wall called Oscar Jack fucking Piastri who went like no sir. You are not gonna do that. And you know what the best part was, George's whole vibe during the last segments was like that all muscled up dog, but it all went nada against Oscar. He was like this is my corner, and it is going to be my corner. Yoy want to go ahead of me, use your car which is clearly faster than mine. Which he managed. But guess what, it remained his corner at the end. Whoever has decided to race hard against Piastri, we all know, it has blown up on their faces at some point, by their own mistakes btw, because Oscar races hard, but most important, he races clean. So of course, this cost George a few seconds with not enough time with him to catch Lando. So see!!! Karma bitch!! For me, that was THE moment!!!

All in all, a good weekend for the papaya fam. Please don't be like those some people on ig, like Lando vs Oscar, because in the long term, it was a good decision at the end. Times like this I am glad that I'm not twt, because if ig comments are like this really don't wanna know what's going down there.

[word-wytch]

Don't Stand So Close To Me — Chapter 4

Eddie x Teacher!Reader

Chapter 4/? 3.1k. Series Masterlist

✏︎ There are some things Eddie isn’t used to hearing, and mean even more when coming from you.

✏︎ Series Summary: Forced to move back home to Hawkins after your fiancé cheats on you, you begin to fall in love again with an audacious 20 year old metalhead, only there’s one problem — he’s still in high school and you’re his English teacher.

While you struggle starting over in a place you never thought you would return, Eddie struggles feeling stuck in a place he can’t manage to leave — until you offer to help him. Of all the lessons learned, the most important are the ones you teach each other.

✏︎ Series CW: forbidden romance, slow burn, smut (18+ mdni), true love, internal conflict, student-teacher relationship, 10 year age gap, mutual pining, sexual tension, emotions, drama, angst, character development, happy ending :)

Chapter warnings: mild angst I guess? that's it :)

“Well I for one think the first lady’s new ‘Just Say No’ campaign is a great idea, it’s long overdue if you ask me,” said Mrs. Hutchins, to which your mother nodded in agreement.  

You stared down at your plate and poked at your green beans with your fork. 

“It’s about time there was a war on drugs, it’s gotten out of control in this country,” Mrs. Hutchins continued, reaching for the gravy.

You shoveled the green beans into your mouth to keep it occupied. You figured getting into an argument with Mrs. Hutchins over Reagan’s policies was not exactly what your mother had intended for the evening. Besides, it wasn’t worth your energy anyway.

Your dad gave you a silly look from across the table and you smiled at him.

You looked back down at your plate and thought about Eddie Munson again. This time it was about how he’d looked at you when you told him you’d be here. 

You wondered what Eddie would say to Mrs. Hutchins. He had an opinion on just about everything and you were certain he would not withhold it. Not for your mother’s sake, not for anybody. You suspected that it got him into trouble more often than not but there was something you admired about that.

You tucked into your risotto and tuned out the conversation.

He was sitting so close to you today. So close that a ringlet of his soft hair grazed your hand when he leaned over. So close that you could smell him. The same scent that enveloped you in the hallway the other day, although this time less bright notes of shampoo, more deep notes of leather and musk. There was that faint cigarette smell and something else too that you couldn’t quite place, like the warmth of his skin that was distinct and yet indistinguishable. 

Normally you were not keen on the smell of cigarettes. It lingered on just about everything. In restaurants and car seats, especially in homes. It clung to the clothing of heavy smokers with a stale musk that you hated, but on Eddie it didn’t seem to bother you. In fact, you were hesitant to admit that you almost liked it. 

“Andrew, why don’t you tell us about your new job,” suggested your mother.

You glanced over at the man sitting next to you, hardly able to believe that this was once the boy who used to collect G.I. Joe figures rather than play with them as intended. 

Andrew cleared his throat. “My job is to diagnose and correct issues with computer hardware, figure out what isn’t working and order and replace the corresponding parts. Occasionally it’s a software issue, in which case I can troubleshoot and reinstall certain programs.” he said, adjusting his glasses. He looked just about as thrilled to be here as you were.

“Do you guys sell computers there?” asked your dad.

“Yes, though my work is primarily in computer repairs, not sales.”

“You know I was telling my daughter here that I really think computers are going to be the future,” said your mom.

“Oh yes, absolutely. Personal computer sales have quadrupled in the last few years, all thanks to the Commodore 64 being so affordable,” said Andrew. “In fact I really think they ought to have computer classes in every school. I think I read recently in the paper that only 48% of schools have them.”

Your mom’s eyes lit up and she turned to you, “Do they have computer class at your school, dear?”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so. Not yet.” 

“Well maybe that might be something worth suggesting to the principal.”

“I doubt I would have much say in something like that.”

“I’m just saying, it’s worth a try, dear.”

You smiled curtly and glanced down at your plate again, scooting your green beens around in the excess gravy. 

“Speaking of school, why don’t you tell us a little bit about how your job’s been going? I do hope the students are behaving,” your mother continued.

“Oh, they have their moments but overall it’s been alright,” you said, “We’re studying The Catcher in the Rye in my senior class.”

Andrew raised his eyebrows, “Oh that book,” he said with a little laugh, “It’s a bit strange isn’t it? All I can really remember is how he kept calling everyone a phony all the time. I never understood it.”

Of course you didn’t. “Yeah, the stream of consciousness seems to throw some readers off. A lot of people end up missing the point.”

“What is the point anyway?” asked Andrew, but before you could respond Mrs. Hutchins interjected.

“Don’t you think that book is a bit inappropriate for children? I remember when Andrew brought it home all those years ago. At that time some of the ladies in my church group were trying to get it banned in schools. Clearly their efforts were unsuccessful.”

“My students are teenagers, not children, in fact some of them are already adults,” you said, and thought about recommending Fahrenheit 451 to her but figured the joke would be lost.

“Still, I think teenagers are too young to be reading about,” she lowered her voice, “hookers.”

You bit your lip and looked down at your plate again. It took every ounce of self control not to laugh. You glanced over at Andrew. He looked like he wanted to evaporate.

“I’ll tell you what,” continued Mrs. Hutchins, “Kids are getting into more and more worrisome and bizarre things nowadays. Did you see that special on the local news? There’s this game called Dungeons and Dragons and some people suspect that it’s a gateway, luring children into devil worshiping cults.”

This time you did laugh. “I really don’t think there’s any truth to that. The student I tutor plays that game. He talks about it all the time. It really is just a fantasy game that you create your own adventures in.”

“Well that’s what it might look like on the surface, but on this special they were talking about all the signs to look for if you suspect your child might have been lured. Now there’s the obvious symbolism like goats and pentagrams. Then there’s listening to heavy metal music — that’s a big one. Apparently there’s all sorts of hidden messaging in those songs, especially if you play the tapes backwards.”

Andrew’s face was in his hands.

“Boy, that sounds terrifying,” said your mother with furrowed brows before taking a bite of her pork roast.

You thought about Eddie Munson again. He certainly fit the description, though you were doubtful he actually worshiped Satan. You supposed there was no way for you to really know. He had quite a habit of talking about, well, just about anything besides school, but you doubted he’d openly admit to something like that. 

It was strange for you to think that you had really only known him for less than two months. It felt like you’d known him forever. 

If he did actually worship Satan, you supposed it wouldn’t really bother you. What you could tell was that he had a good heart. What you also could tell is that there was nothing you could say to Mrs. Hutchins that would change her mind.

______

Much to the disappointment of your mother, sparks did not fly over dinner. That was obvious enough for her not to arrange another, much to your relief.

The weekend came quickly, and it was a long one, which meant more time with quizzes to grade, and boxes that you had procrastinated unpacking. More time alone with your thoughts. 

Historically you never minded being alone, typically you relished in it. Lately you had been doing everything you could to combat the oppressive silence in your apartment and the noisy chatter in your mind.

On Saturday you practically wore out your records, exhausting your entire collection as you did some much needed cleaning. 

On Sunday it was difficult to get out of bed, so you just left the radio on when your alarm clock went off.

On Monday you sat on your living room floor in front of your TV and thumbed through the quizzes that you gave out on Friday, marking each one with your green grading pen.

You paused when you got to Eddie’s. 

There was a little drawing of a dragon at the bottom of his quiz along with a note that said “Slay me!”

You smiled for the first time that day, fingers tracing the lines where his pen met the paper, feeling the subtle indents left behind by it. 

You ran down the ten questions, he got nine of them right. You gave him a 90% and circled the A- at the top of the paper. At the bottom you wrote “You sure slayed this quiz!” with a little smiley face.

______

Eddie Munson had a way of creeping into your thoughts when you least expected it. It was like he had taken up permanent residence there, like a song stuck in your head.

It was far a better song than the sad and angry one that had been playing on repeat for months now, and at this point you would take any break you could get from it.

On Tuesday you couldn’t stop thinking about the way he smiled at you on Friday when he turned in his quiz. It was playful and warm.

On Wednesday he sat across from you after school. He was wearing a flannel shirt under his usual denim vest today. It was refreshing to see him in color for a change. The vibrant red suited him. He’d rolled his sleeves up, revealing a tattoo that looked like a cluster of flying bats.

“So, how did you do on your history test? Did you get your grades back?” you asked, bringing your attention away from his forearms. 

“Yeah, uh,” Eddie shifted in his chair, glancing off to the side, “I got a C,” he said quietly.

You nodded, your expression neutral, though there was a softness in your eyes. “How do you feel about that?”

Eddie looked surprised, “I…” he paused for a moment, blinking, “You know, honestly, when I first got my test back I was actually pretty happy about it,” he said. “I mean it’s better than I usually do, way better than an F.”

You looked at him curiously, “You said, ‘at first’ did something change?”

“Well, I mean a C is good for me, but — “ he glanced at you sheepishly.

“Then a C is good!” 

He looked relieved. “Oh, well in that case, then yeah. I guess I am pretty happy about it.”

“Eddie,” you said gently. He leaned forward at the sound of his name. “You don’t have to worry about impressing me, that isn’t what this is about. I just want to help you graduate, not be valedictorian,” you said, “I’m proud of you.”

Eddie beamed at you with those big brown eyes of his. Suddenly he glanced away, blinking quickly as he lifted a hand to scratch the side of his head to shield them from view. 

You leaned closer, sensing the shift in his body language. When he turned to face you again you could have sworn his nose was a little flushed, his eyes wetter than usual.

“Sorry, I don’t hear that a lot.”

Your chest tightened. You wanted to leap across the desk, scoop him up in your arms and tell him that a thousand times, but instead you just smiled softly and said, “Well, get used to it.”

He smiled at you again, big and broad. He fidgeted with the rings on his fingers and for just a moment you swore you could see past the hair, the patches and chains, straight through to the boy he once was, getting F after F. You could see the disappointed looks from everyone around him reflected in those eyes of his. He must have gotten used to them, steeled himself to them, resigned himself to the letter.

You felt the tears start to burn behind your eyes and you searched for anything to change the subject. “How did your campaign go on Friday?”

His lips curved into a mischievous smirk. “Found three new recruits actually, just last week.”

You raised your eyebrows and blinked, clearing your eyes of any evidence. “Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah. I knew it the moment I saw ‘em, two freshmen sitting all by themselves at the end of a lunch table. They’d been there for weeks, just the two of them. You can always kinda tell with the freshmen, they just look like little lost sheep, ‘specially these two. One of the kids was wearing a Weird Al t-shirt,” he said with a laugh, “And that’s when I was like, ok, these kids should sit with us for a change. Well it turns out they’ve been playing DnD for ages, and they’ve got a friend in another lunch period who plays too, so now we’ve got three new members, which is great because, uh, we were kind of hurting for them.” He chuckled softly.

Eddie had an energy about him that was bold and magnetic. It sucked you right in. The timbre of his voice was bright and warm. It was oddly soothing. You enjoyed listening to him talk, watching his hands as they gestured wildly, which you figured was a good thing since he did a lot of talking. 

“Some kids just need someone to show them that school doesn’t have to be all bad, you know? I know that’s what I needed.” 

You imagined freshman Eddie sitting in the cafeteria by himself, lonely and lost, with his curly mop of hair much shorter than it was now. 

“Us freaks have to stick together, you know?”

You nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, I know. I wasn’t exactly popular myself,” you admitted. “Actually I used to help run an after school mentoring program in Indianapolis. A lot of troubled kids came through there, but it was so rewarding to watch them come into their own, find a place they felt like they belonged, you know?” you said, “I miss that part of my old job.”

Eddie rested his hand against his cheek and hummed in agreement. He looked like he was miles away and yet absolutely present all at once.

“I’ll admit that teaching wasn’t my first career choice, but it’s rewarding in a way that you just… can’t achieve by sitting alone and writing stories by yourself.”

Eddie smirked and gave a thoughtful nod, “That has its own rewards though.”

Your eyes twinkled. “Oh yeah, it definitely does.”

You shifted the focus toward his schoolwork. Today you helped him work through some equations in Trigonometry. Truthfully it took some refreshing on your part, it had been ages since you’d done it and you were more than a little rusty. Math was never really your strong suit anyway. The nice thing about formulas is that once you understood them you could just simply apply them and solve. Math seemed to be something that Eddie was naturally pretty good at though. You wondered if it had anything to do with having to deal with numbers frequently in his campaigns. 

“Alright, I think that about wraps it up for today. Not sure about you but I’m getting hungry,” you said.

“Ok, I’m parked right over there,” he said pointing out the window to the van in the near empty  parking lot. “We can walk out together. You never know what sort of monsters might be lurking in the shadows at this hour,” he said with a look of exaggerated suspicion.

You chuckled and your heart fluttered in your chest, “Sure, actually I’m the red sedan a few spots down.” 

“Great, I know a shortcut,” said Eddie.

You both packed up your things and headed down the main hall towards the gym. 

It was when you rounded the corner that you saw them — Jason and Patrick filling their water bottles at the drinking fountain. 

You gave them both a little wave, which they returned half-heartedly. There was a curious expression playing on their faces which you had hardly a second to study before you passed. Eddie didn’t even look at them. 

You could feel the tension in the air, and their eyes on you as you both left out the back door.

Eddie reached into the pocket of his vest and procured a pack of cigarettes. “Sorry, do you mind? I’m totally jonesing right now.”

“Oh no, it’s fine.”

Eddie gave a gracious nod and popped a cigarette between his lips. He flicked the lighter and his mouth was washed in a warm glow, illuminating the smile lines already prominent on his young face. They suited him.

He blew the smoke away from you with a relieved sigh and you walked toward your cars together in comfortable silence. 

The sun was low in the clear blue sky, casting a golden light over the parking lot. The leaves were just starting to change in fiery orange and yellow patches. You could smell autumn in the crispness of the air, in the leaves that had already fallen as they skittered across the asphalt. 

Eddie ducked his head under your car in a swift motion and looked around suspiciously. “Coast is clear, no monsters.” 

You gave a big belly laugh. “Good thing I have you to keep me safe.”

The wind caught his hair as he rose to his feet and turned to you. “For you? Anything.”

Eddie Munson was beautiful like a neon sign at night. Beautiful like graffiti, like an empty street that beckoned you to wander down it.

You could feel your heart pounding as you smiled at him, turning to putty at his words. “See you tomorrow, Eddie.”

“See ya.” He gave a little bow with his head and waved as he turned toward his van.

You got into your car and set your bag on the passenger seat, letting out the breath you didn’t even realize you’d been holding in. You could hear the roar of the stereo as Eddie’s van came to life two spots over.

You couldn’t help but steal another glance at him. His hair swished and swayed as he bobbed his head to the beat. He was wild like the summer wind as it ripped across a field. 

His eyes caught yours again and he flashed you a smile, bright and blinding.

If there was once thing you were certain of in that moment, it was that Eddie Munson was going to be the death of you.

At least you couldn’t get in trouble for your thoughts.

______

A/N: Oooo we've got a revelation on reader's part and next chapter I've got some really delicious moments in store so sit tight because this burn is gonna be slow but oh boy is it gonna be worth it!

I have one request — If you read and enjoy this, especially if you ask/asked to be put on the tag list, I ask in return that you reblog AND tell me what you like about this fic, even just something short and sweet! Please engage with me, it’s all I get in return for writing a story that you love for free 💜

Tag list: @mermaidsandcats29 @toxicjayhoo @ooo-protean-ooo @jadequeen88 @wroteclassicaly @kissmyacdc @newlips

@msgexymunson @bebe0701 @latenighttalkingwithgrapejuice @bibieeddiesgf @idkidknemore @miahellagreat @alizztor @godcreatoreli @shotgunhallelujah @ethereal27cereal @munsonsgirl71 @strangerthings1983fan @eddiemunsonsbitcch @tlclick73 @emxxblog @siriusmuggle @sidthedollface2 @dollalicia @lma1986 @hayleylatour @catherinnn @maximizedrhythms @eddiemunson4life420 @readsalot73 @delightfulpeanutpiebiscuit @ruby-dragon @3rriberri @princess-eddie @nightless @bbyhargrove @eddiemunson011 @secretdryrose @eddieswifu @thew0rldsastage @quinnsfineline @chaoticgood-munson @edsforehead @hanahkatexo @lori7311 @eddiemunsonsbedroom @chainsawmunson @beep-beep-sherlock @mantorokk-writes @emily-roberts @averagemisfit03 @vintagehellfire @haylaansmi

Thank you all so much for reading and commenting along each week, it means the world to me!

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: "My Buddie Crack Theory"

Since the finale airs tonight, I decided I'm finally ready to share my theory with details.

Question: What is "My Buddie Crack Theory"?

Answer: Buck's still in his coma dream.

I've included the details below the cut but please note, if he is still in his coma dream, it's NOT A NEW CONCEPT because it's been done on network TV before. (Details about the TV show "Dallas" and the main character "Bobby Ewing" are below the cut.

After season 6 ended, I read a post on 911blr that contained a screen shot from the show's IG page and it included a statement from someone who works on the show. It indicated season 6 was an "experiment" and it piqued my curiosity because I remembered reading about a TV show that did something similar in the 1980s. If it's true and KR was doing an experiment, then, it's possible 9-1-1 is doing something similar with Buck's coma dream.

In 1986, a procedural drama, "Dallas" did it with one of their main characters. The gist of it is, after main character "Bobby Ewing" was killed in a car accident at the end of season 8, he came back in season 10 because one of the actors who was still on the show asked the actor who played "Bobby" to come back because their ratings dropped. He agreed and the writers retconned the entirety of season 9 and turned it into a dream sequence for Pamela, Bobby's wife. Supposedly, she dreamed everything that happened before she woke up in 10x1 and when she walked into the bathroom, he was in there taking a shower 🙄. ISTG this is true and I know it's soapy and weird but here's a link to one of the articles that discusses it (Dallas).

How does this relate to 9-1-1? Well, it relates because since the beginning of season 7, there have been many indications in the interviews from the main cast about the possibility that TM is retconning seasons 5 & 6 and doing a mirror image or carbon copy of season 4 so he can get the main characters back to the point they were at in 4x14 (Buddie and Bathena). It's when he left OG in the hands of KR since F*X wouldn't allow Buck and Eddie to go CANON.

Before I delve into this, I need to make three points. First, I'm not making this about one specific character because the show already did that so please if you're going to be salty about it, please don't read this. If the things I've identified are correct then, that's on 9-1-1 and their writers. Second, these are my interpretations and observations of all the off kilter, retconned and unhinged things I've noticed since last season. Third and finally, when the season is looked at as a whole, it appears Buck still being in a coma is the only thing that makes sense.

Disclaimer: No one has to agree with my theory and please understand I'm not asking anyone to. The purpose of me doing this post now is because I wanted to wait until just before the season ends before I posted it because I wanted to see if the trend would continue and it has, for me at least. My theory could be right and it could be wrong but the point is someone else may have a difference of opinion and if they do, it's perfectly ok because two people's opinions can co-exist.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program...

Several things happened in seasons 6 and 7 that caused me to believe Buck's still in his coma dream and since the beginning of season 7, I've felt like all the mains have been acting OOC at different points and their actions have been off in someway or another. I'm not the only one who noticed it and there have been viewers who've commented on this topic in post-mortem articles and on social media. When I looked at the entirety of 6B and season 7, IMO, it seems like everything is being told from one character's POV, i.e., Buck's. It's a flawed and skewed one that in order to understand, one has to go back to review the details in 6x11.

After 6x9 aired, to me it seemed like Buck and Eddie were already together in a romantic relationship but Buck got struck by lightning and it halted everything. If they were, then everything about Buck still being in a coma makes even more sense and it explains their actions.

Here's a brief summary of 6x11: It appears Buck woke up TWICE in his coma dream and the first time he did, he was talking to Daniel but the first person he remembered from his life was EDDIE. After Daniel told him the next time he climbed a ladder, he should be sure there was someone available to have his back to which he responded, "I did". Reminder, after his brief flashback, Eddie wasn't included in Buck's coma dream anymore in season 6. I think the second time he woke up was when he was talking to Maddie before the 118 entered his room. Also, while he was playing gin with Bobby, Bobby told him he couldn't believe Buck returned from a world where he could fix everything but he replied, "Not everything."

I think he was still in his coma but he thought he woke up and when he had a coffee date with Natalia, he told her, "I woke up in a world that was both everything and nothing I ever wanted it to be" and other than the two things he told Maddie in 6x12 (included below), that's all the audience heard about his dream.

Now, in season 7, Eddie's the ONLY person Buck keeps thinking and talking about non-stop which could mean he's still in his coma but this time he's seeing his romantic life. Reminder, he was confused in 7x4 about whose attention he was trying to get but the viewers knew it was Eddie. Additionally, everything that happened in his dream has come to pass in some form or another but it's possible it might not be real.

Maddie and Chimney got married in 7x6 but it wasn't the wedding Chimney described to the team in 6x16 they were planning before he proposed. In his dream, he told Chimney they should get married because they already had a kid and a house.

Bobby retired and he died (temporarily) in 7x9 which both of those things happening have always been part of Buck's biggest fears. In 3x10, he told Bobby he's one of the most important people in his life and in 6x11, Bobby being Buck's found dad was CANONIZED by May Grant. Reminder, Bobby was dead in Buck's coma dream when he was talking to him.

In 7x10, it's possible the 118 might get split up (hopefully they won't but with Ortiz and Gerard around 🙄 who knows what's going to happen) and that's another thing that scares Buck, him losing his family. In 3x16 he was worried about them being split up and he worried about it again in 6x5 during Hen's medical school party.

In 6x11, when he was running towards his hospital room, he ran past Chris but Chris asked him to help him find his dad but Buck told him he wasn't real but the truth is he was (related post).

After he woke up the second time, the audience didn't see Buck's recovery from him being depressed and everything they did show was kind of off but not so much that it would be noticeable. The conversation Buck and Eddie had in 6x15 in the cemetery in front of Marie's grave was interesting and that's when Buck admitted he felt like he had to be the same old Buck mostly for the sake of everyone else. Viewers who watched the last few episodes of 6B remember what a cluster "F" they were and several recurring characters acted OOC too.

Now let's fast-forward to season 7.

I've been posting about my theory since the end of season 6 but I really dialed into it after 7x1 aired because the timeline Athena stated surrounding when Bobby purchased their cruise tickets was OFF. For those who watched 5x18, they know Bobby purchased the tickets then but their trip got delayed at the end of 6x1 after Athena's father had a stroke. But in 7x1, her scene with Frank started with "Two months ago" then she said, "Last week, my husband... he did something, he... booked us on a cruise". Why is this a problem? It's an issue because the TIMING IS OFF. For Athena's timeline to be accurate, seasons 5 & 6 wouldn't exist since Bobby actually booked the cruise in 5x18 which happened more than a year before they left.

Additionally, all of Buck's biggest fears are being addressed in season 7 and they're happening one right after the other.

Bobby retiring (mentioned above).

Bobby dying (mentioned above).

The 118 being split up (mentioned above).

In 7x10, it appears the Diaz parents might be taking Chris from Eddie and moving him (hopefully temporarily to El Paso). In Buck's coma dream, he was worried that Eddie lost Chris because he wasn't there to introduce him to Carla (she hasn't been mentioned once this season - related post).

The sun setting behind Eddie and Buck in scenes during season 7 are also part of this because in 6x12, Buck told Maddie, "For some reason, it's never nighttime in my coma dream". IMO, it appears Buck's running out of time to figure things out and it's possible he just might by the end of the finale, that is if the narrative continues.

Furthermore, NONE of the things that happened to Buck in season 6 have been addressed in season 7 and they remain unresolved (related post). There hasn't been any mention of the sperm donation, the baby, his quest for captaincy, his recovery from being struck by lightning and he never had a breakdown, even though he's well overdue for one. It's kind of like everything that happened wasn't addressed on purpose and before 7x1 aired, in an interview, TM said he didn't want Buck focusing on all the stuff that happened in season 6 because he wants to be happy.

I'm including a lot of one-offs that happened to add credence to my theory. Before reading the items below, don't forget, Buck is Midge in the movie "Vertigo" and she was waiting for Scottie (Eddie) to move on from his deceased wife. Well, isn't that what Buck's kind of doing now with Eddie? YES!

I think Marisol doesn't have a last name because Buck doesn't know what it is. He met her in 6x5 the same time Eddie did and when they went back to her house, I don't think he was worried about her and Eddie dating later on. However, I do think she's the only woman Buck could think of since she was the only one he saw Eddie with before he got struck by lightning. Eddie didn't mention Buck to Felisa in 6x7 when he told her about Shannon dying and Chris getting caught in the Tsunami even though everyone knows Chris was with Buck that day. Also, Buck never met Vanessa in 6x14 since Pepa introduced her to Eddie and it was after the lightning strike anyway. It appears Marisol was the only woman he could think of that Eddie might end up dating. Eddie's never said her last name either which is suspicious. Reminder, Eddie used to say "Ana Flores" all the time which means he knew her full name.

In 7x1, Eddie said, "Welcome back to the land of the living Buck, you were truly missed". It was an odd comment because they were still working together and if they saw each other every shift, why would he say it like that? It seems like he's still waiting on him to wake up.

In 7x4, Buck told Tommy, "I haven't had this much fun since the night I got struck by lightning." 👀 IIRC, that night wasn't fun for anyone especially him, so it was a strange comment for him to make and when Tommy asked him about it, he replied, "I'm just using it as a point of reference." Therefore, it seems like the show wanted the audience to remember Buck was in a coma and it's possible he still is.

In 7x9, Tommy said it had been 5 years since he left the 118 which was WRONG because he left before Buck started which happened 7 years ago. It's another weird timing discrepancy but I think it was included for a reason and it relates to Buck and Eddie. It appears Buck was once again confusing his feelings for Eddie with Tommy since later in the same episode, Eddie told Kim it had been 5 years since his wife died but if the math is done, it's also been 5 years for Eddie working at the 118. Reminder, he quit in December 2021 and he didn't return until May 2022. Therefore, Buck's known Eddie for 6 years but Eddie's only been at the 118 for 5.5 years.

IMO, Buck's encounter with Kim in 7x9 was him coming face to face with his worst fear (related post) and it involves the way he believes he'll never be able to measure up to Eddie's first spouse, even though the audience knows he's fulfilled the role as coparent in Eddie's life since 2x4 when he stepped in and helped Eddie find childcare for Chris.

The retconned ages in season 6 have continued to be up for debate but I think while in his coma dream, Buck got Eddie's, Shannon's and Denny's and his own ages wrong and I think the show made a point to highlight them because if TM really is retconning the last two seasons, then it's true, Buck would be 30 years old since he was 29 in 4x5 and it's possible he would have had a birthday before 4x13 aired (if the show was on their normal schedule). They've never stated Eddie's age so who knows how old he is.

It's possible Tommy's a figment of Buck's imagination especially since he's so much like Eddie.

Kim's comment to Buck in 7x9 about how the firehouse looks bigger in person than it does on FaceTime was a direct callback to season 2 when Buck slide down the fireman's pole and walked up behind Eddie after he had just finished a FaceTime call with Shannon. Buck told him he should ask Bobby for a discount when Eddie asked him if he thought they'd have to get married again (Buck was being petty).

Now if 9-1-1 is planning to retcon seasons 5 and 6 within Buck's' coma dream, then everything makes perfect sense because in 6x11 and in 7x4, one thing was clear, IT WAS ALL BEING TOLD FROM BUCK'S POV which everyone knows was flawed. Even TM admitted Buck wasn't seeing what he thought he saw because it was from his point of view. Buck remembered things that didn't happen the way he thought they did in his coma dream. One of them includes him believing he saved Bobby but the truth is he didn't because Chimney did when he took Bobby to meet a couple whose baby was saved after they got a blood transfusion with Bobby's blood in season 1. Also, Buck's memory was so jacked up that he thought Eddie wouldn't have been able to stay at the 118 if he hadn't introduced him to Carla. He also believed Eddie would have had to fight his parents to keep custody of Chris which was WRONG for two reasons. First, Eddie will sacrifice anything for Chris and second, Bobby RECRUITED Eddie and convinced him to join the 118 instead of station 6. So logically, if Bobby would have been dead from the plane crash in season 1, Eddie NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN AT THE 118 BECAUSE BOBBY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE TO RECRUIT HIM. It also means Hen and Chimney wouldn't have met Eddie; therefore they wouldn't have known he had a son.

If 7x10 ends with Buck waking up from his coma and him remembering he's already in a relationship with Eddie, I won't be surprised because that's what the narrative was showing in season 6. Also, AB and MJW both said, "Something biblical was going to happen in the finale" and the only thing I can think of is Buck coming out of his coma.

Can the narrative change, of course it can and it has several times over this season alone with last minute scripts and storylines but hopefully, this season will end on a good note because IMO, it's been underwhelming thus far.

With regards to Buck and Eddie, I think TM (showrunner) has done his best to confuse viewers this entire season so they won't see what's coming. I'll admit, I might be completely off base with "My Buddie Crack Theory" and none of the mishaps that I've identified mean anything but it's also possible they could mean everything. Tonight's episode will tell the tale so I'm curious to see how it will all turn out.

Hopefully, it has all been a dream and Buck and Eddie will end the season together in preparation for season 8.

[myboyknows]

"the confidence when he's playing a role vs the insecurity when he's being himself" is such a good way to put it, and there's times I've fantasized about having a line that deft to throw at the haters. I'll keep it in my back pocket if such a situation ever arises again.

Please do!

I've been an AtS fan for a long time, and something I've always found so compelling about Angel is how easy it is for him to slip into a disguise and walk into a situation armed only with his own confidence in the role he's playing. He does it several times - especially over the course of the first two seasons of AtS - and I am absolutely enthralled by it. He's suddenly an art museum guide, a police detective in charge of a crime scene, a priest, 'cool' vampire J-Don, a lawyer, a French guy who loves fashion. Angel would never go out in a Hawaiian shirt and beach hat on his own, but he has zero problem with becoming Herb Saunders: Clueless Tourist from Baltimore in front of a mob boss. There are a lot of things this says to me about his character:

He's clever.

He's spontaneous.

He's calm under pressure.

He's good at improv/bluffing and should probably call Rebecca Lowell's agent and just become an actor already.

He doesn't care how strangers perceive him. This is the one that I think a lot of fans don't really understand about Angel. This man does not give a fuck. The reason he wouldn't wear a Hawaiian shirt on a normal day but is happy to do it in front of Little Tony isn't because he's embarrassed for other people to see him in a loud shirt - clearly - but because Angel has his own particular style that he feels comfortable in as himself and doesn't want to wear something that doesn't appeal to him, unless he himself chooses to wear it for a reason. It's like with the pink motorcycle helmet. Angel has no problem with other people mistaking him for a gay man, so when he doesn't want to wear the ladies' helmet, it's not because it might affect anyone else's perception of him but because he doesn't want to wear that helmet and he didn't get a choice. He likes his dark clothes and he likes his car, and the fake swami accuses him of developing this type of style to cultivate a persona for other people to appreciate without taking into consideration that these things appeal to Angel himself regardless of what strangers think. The only folks that he does actually care about in terms of their impressions of him are his friends, and so he'll correct them (sometimes) when they misinterpret him, but often he lets them think what they want about him, too. Which is maybe why it feels like Angel is so often misunderstood in fandom - because so many fans simply accept other characters' opinions of Angel as if they are fact rather than actually looking at Angel himself. Like with the smiling thing. There's an overwhelming fannish opinion that Angel doesn't smile very much because there are characters in the show who say he should smile more. But outside of serious or dangerous situations, Angel actually smiles all the time, and if it's any less than Wes or Gunn then it's only because he's more often in situations where it would be really weird to be smiling. He's a pleasant guy unless he's been given a reason not to be!

I also headcanon that one of the reasons Angel is so good at pretending to be someone else is because human camouflage is something that is literally built into his physiology as a vampire. Pretending to be something they aren't is a super important skill for all vampires, not just defensively in order to move through the human-dominated world but also as a means of getting close to their primary source of food. Angel spent 150ish years using his human face to deceive his prey while hunting, then a further 100ish years using it to blend in and disappear. Wolf in sheep's clothing, except the sheep's clothing is a really fucking good impression of a normal human being and he can wear it all the time. It comes naturally to vampires to pass as something they're not (we're ignoring the friend of Xanderrrrr's here) and Angel has 250 years of experience of people-watching. If he couldn't do pretty good imitations of different kinds of people by this point, I'd be surprised and disappointed in him.

But also! When we first meet Angel in the show, he's had very little experience interacting with humans while he's trying to be himself and not play some role to accomplish some kind of purpose. He's never had friends before, at least not with a soul, and he has no example of another vampire with a soul to imitate or learn from. He's flying totally blind, navigating unfamiliar territory, AND has conflicting impulses. So when he's insecure about his feelings and actions and expectations in his own life, that is also as natural for him as the confidence when it comes to pretending to be someone else.

Er, thanks for coming to my TED Talk?

[blusical]

Problematic Players and You

(PT: Problematic Players and You)

Trigger Warning: This post discusses several triggering or otherwise sensitive topics, including, but not limited to, abuse sexual assault, bigotry, and violence. Reader discretion is advised. Additional Disclaimer: This is not a post defending the actions of athletes mentioned *nor* is it an attack on said athletes (or their fans!). This is about dealing with serious events involving players as a whole.

Have you ever woke up one day and found out that your favorite race car driver said some not-so savory things? Have you ever checked the news one day and found out a hockey player you love was accused of rape? Are you a new sports fan who did research on an athlete you like only to find out they're a straight up creep? And have you ever asked yourself: “Where the hell do I go from here?” when it comes to merch you’ve already bought or the amount of gifsets you’ve made for them? Well, you’ve come to the right post! Because let’s face it, we’ve (probably) all been there, done that and got the t-shirt (Err, jersey). 

First off, what defines a problematic player?

Well... there's not really a set definition. Everyone has a different idea of what's 'problematic' and what isn't. However, there are some deeds that athletes do that are... kind of ick, so any of the following could make them be considered very problematic:

-Bigotry (ex. Racism, homophobia). -Cheating (as in cheating on your spouses. Not cheating as in using PEDs even though that too is also kinda trashy). -Abuse, sexual assault, etc. -Questionable/not so great political opinions.

And then there’s athletes who’ve been involved in so many off-ice controversies and allegations that it’s reached a point where regardless of how many are true or not, and no matter how much new information is revealed, they won’t be well liked by fans (Patrick Kane, anyone?). Okay, but why do athletes do this crap in the first place?

Well... there's a couple theories on why some do these things.

Sometimes mental and environmental factors can influence an athlete’s decision making. Say, if an athlete was abused by a coach when they were young, that might factor into any actions, good or bad, a player makes in the future. In cases of bigoted opinions, athletes are raised to have such opinions.

Age can also play a factor into a player’s actions. The younger they are, the more likely they’re going to do stupid shit (Or so I've noticed, please correct me if I'm wrong lmfao). Again. The theories are limitless. However most of the time athletes do these things because... they chose to do that. And a part of that is being because sports culture. Yeah. Sports culture sucks. Who would've known?

So do problematic athletes... stay problematic forever?

Well, yes and no.

As much as our first instinct is to “cancel” said athletes and pressure them to take accountability, we should also give them a chance to grow when they do take accountability instead of pushing the issue further.

However, that also depends on if they chose to grow. Hell, it depends if they even admit to making a mistake or admitting to guilt at all (which is, unfortunately, very impressive in a society like this). If they don’t.. Well, that’s their choice. Best we can do as fans beyond that point is just spread awareness. Remember: 99% of the time celebs won't listen to their fans. Some will. But do not expect your favorite to do the right thing. You will be disappointed. Another thing to keep in mind is that even if changes to character are made, people (us included) will still probably continue to view them differently for a while. As much as we’d like to put the past behind us, that just isn’t easy. (And besides, in the long term this is probably a good thing, since as fans it’s not our place to forgive; that’s up to the people affected). Actually while we’re at it..

Help! What should I do when an athlete (including my favorite) gets into controversy?

It’s always stressful (and sad) when an athlete you’ve admired and looked up to is eventually outed as a terrible person. It’s even more stressful when you’re a newer fan to sports and you just find out about said problematic deeds.

Well, first thing's first: process your emotions, and feelings. And once you're done crying, screaming, whatever action you're doing to process your feelings, spread awareness if you feel comfortable enough doing so. When spreading awareness though: DO RESEARCH AND ONLY SHARE RELIABLE SOURCES. Unfortunately serious allegations almost always have misinformation popping out. Hell, sometimes "allegations" may just be someone causing trouble on the internet (Corey Perry situation, anyone?). If the source is from a random Twitter user (that doesn't work in journalism), or the source is from a site like Deadspin and/or TMZ or any other site that has a history of clickbait, odds are, it's best to take it with a grain of salt. Team fansites (like RMNB, a Caps site) are also not always reliable, so take caution when reading through them as well.

It's better to stick with actually known sources like ESPN, Bleacher Report or a journalist like Elliotte Friedman. Rick Westhead and Katie Strang are really good journalists when it comes to issues relating to hockey. Additionally, do not expect to know *all* the information. Do not demand all information to come out. Sometimes not everything can be shared for legal reasons. Be patient and wait for everything to come out. And even then, don't expect it to be everything that happened (because again, legal reasons). Also, don't expect other people to talk about the incident in question! Do not guilt others into discussing it, do not force others to post about it. Focus on what you can do before focusing on what others can do! After most information (if not all of it), it's up to you to come to your own conclusions. Lastly, regardless of what your decision is, whether you decide to stop supporting them or you choose to believe they did nothing wrong (for any reason), but you're stuck on what to do anyway... Well... and this is probably anticlimactic I know, what to do is... up to you!

Internet wise, your internet space is your space! Your Tumblr blog is your blog! If you wanna stop posting about that player and also delete every single mention of said player outside of spreading awareness? Great! That’s your choice! Wanna keep said posts up but tag them and/or add a disclaimer! Also great! Wanna keep posting them or writing fics about them? Completely fine! Just tag it accordingly and keep in mind why these folks may not like said players. And *please* continue to be critical of said players when they do something wrong. Your favorite is not immune to criticism.

(In other words, yes Hawks fans, you’re allowed to post your Kane gifs and 1988 fics. Just tag it accordingly. And just know that people *will* probably judge you for it).

One thing you should not do however: DO NOT CENSOR NAMES. This fucks with filters and screenreaders (More in-depth post on this here!).

And because apparently this still needs to be said, don’t wish injury or death on the players and for the love of Wayne Gretzky don’t fucking send harassment to their families (seriously why do people do this fucking garbage holy fuck).

Secondly, don’t buy their jerseys or other merchandise from official sites! They will profit off that. If you've already brought it, don't just throw it out. Instead, leave it in storage, sell it or, if you're good at tailoring, try making something new out of it! Additionally (especially in cases of rape, violence, etc), SUPPORT THE VICTIMS INVOLVED. They need it the most.

What about the folks that continue to support said athletes?

If someone continues to post an athlete that’s done not great things, it’s tempting to educate them and tell them (which, if you’re going to do so, please tell them gently and not yell at them, especially if they’re a newer or younger fan who has zero clue what’s going on) But if they already know (which odds are they probably do unless they’re a newer fan), and/or they refuse to stop posting about them after being told, the best plan of action is to just… leave them alone. Just leave them be. Do not bother them further. Do not harass them. Do not send them threats. And for goodness gracious don’t make a callout post or blocklist of every single supporter of said athlete.

(Seriously attempting to make a long blocklist never ends well, especially since half the time the users on said blocklist turn out to be literal children).

That said though, if your friends/mutuals are actively defending bigoted comments and/or making statements that borderline towards abuse apologism, it’s not a bad idea to hold them accountable in a private setting. Yes I said private setting because most drama can be avoided with a private DM. But other than that... someone still writes 1988 fic? Leave them be! Someone still makes gifsets of Alex Ovechkin? Leave them be! Hell, someone still talks about the Staals? Just leave them be! The best course of action is to… just use the block button and/or filter posts accordingly. That’s literally it lmfao.

But why do people continue to support these athletes anyway?

Well it all comes down to the following: A. They have trouble grappling with the fact that they are, in fact, problematic. B. They’re Neurodivergent (especially autistic or individuals with ADHD), or struggling IRL, and kinda rely on those people to function or get through the day. 

C. Detaching yourself from a problematic figure is… really easier said than done. It is not easy at all lmfao. D. They're refuse to listen to info. E. They genuinely have no clue what's going on. Either way. Don't judge too harshly. Not everyone can just stop supporting a person/media and guess what? It's not as easy as 99% of Tumblr dot com thinks. Not everyone can just stop enjoying/liking something. And guess what? That's actually O-KAY. Last thing to know.

Lastly, you, yourself, *could* probably be supporting a problematic player right now! And you would never know until much later! At the end of the day, 99% of athletes have done problematic things one way or another. And honestly, if we tried to get rid of every problematic person... there probably wouldn't be any people left on Earth at all. Yeah, some actions are more shittier than ever, but trying to make everything "unproblematic"... is never going to work no matter how you look at it, and that is OKAY.

Remember the most important rule (stolen from someone on discord with the second edited by me!):

Now get out there and cheer for whatever player you'd like.

(Special thanks to @hard4softthings @saucerfulofsins @tapejob @youneedtolookatthis @restingbuchface @bedardconnor and a bunch of other folks for providing most of the advice/info/tips for this post!)

[vro0m]

i've been thinking about smth for a while and it came to me this morning (post race clarity or delusion?) that the way merc is operating this year remindes me a bit too much of mclaren after lewis's championship, car is everywhere, or it's good, but the strategy is not, lewis asks for one thing and they give smth totally different, tp's assuring that they're on the right path as they go to their demise, it's just that lewis isn't 25 yrs old anymore, do you see it or do i need to drop f1 for mental health and go for a walk?

Between F1 and a walk, the right choice is always the walk, first of all. That said, it's a tough question because it's very up to interpretation. In my opinion, I see what you mean but it's not that bad— yet.

Long post / essay :

For starters I'm gonna say something super controversial that people might completely disagree with and is totally arguable : imho the '09 McLaren was worse than the W13. Simply because back then McLaren was pretty much the only team having put together such a shit car, whereas in '22 some of the issues the W13 had, they all had.

McLaren corrected their issues much more quickly than Merc is doing now but you have to keep in mind that there was no costcap so they were able to throw money at it until it worked. It's not the case anymore. It means Merc has to get used to operating with a suboptimal car, instead of "just" trying to fix the car, which creates new issues they never had before and are struggling with, such as adjusting their expectations. (As are a lot of the fans, btw.)

If they were as positive and as comfortable with hard times as they like to say they are (saying stuff like 'you only learn when you fail' and all these platitudes), they might see it as an opportunity to optimise every other thing they can apart from the car, like the pitstops (didn't RBR become the kings of pitstops while Merc was dominant?) and the strategy (you have to try things rather than play it safe when you can't rely on your car to close the gap). Alas they can't seem to shift focus from the engineering department to the rest of the pieces of the puzzle.

But I think the main difference between McLaren post '08 and Mercedes post '21 is the team culture. They are not functioning in ways that are comparable in my mind. McLaren in the 00's was shady AF. I mean that's the team that forced Lewis to lie to the stewards and got him DSQ from a GP! Merc is fumbling atm but they're not a mafia.

25yo Lewis thought he had no choice but obey, 38yo Lewis is not gonna take shit anymore. His relationship to Merc comes with loads of perks and they can't push him around like McLaren used to. They can't force him in a box like McLaren used to. His worth, and thus his leverage, has increased dramatically since then. He's not a puppet. He's choosing to stay there and negotiating every penny and every bonus and every clause he can, there must be a reason why. I'm not gonna pity him, nor see him as a victim of his team.

The thing imo is that most teams struggle with what Merc is struggling with. They all make bad strategy decisions, some more than others (Ferrari being specialists), they all fuck up pitstops more or less often, etc. The feeling that Merc is doing particularly bad at the moment exists mostly out of comparison with previous results. They used to win everything because they are a good team, with good resources but, more than anything, because they had the best car. Them fumbling is mostly that shocking and remarkable because they used to win everything. Ferrari has been struggling for almost two decades and we're pretty much used to it now. Not Merc. But truly Merc is not more dysfunctional than Ferrari (or McLaren, or Alpha Tauri, or Williams, or...) at this point. I really don't think they got worse at strategy and pitstops than they used to be pre-'22. They just can't fall back on the car to hide their shortcomings anymore, as we were saying yesterday. They need to face up, but we get back to my previous point re: being apparently stubbornly unable to work on and question more than the car itself.

About Lewis suggesting things and not being heard, I wanna say the same thing I did yesterday and several times before : despite what I often read around here, the team gets it right more often than not. They have access to data he doesn't have access to. Not listening to him yesterday was a huge mistake because when it comes to rain, no one has better insight than the driver driving through it. But as far as engineering goes, sure, he can give his opinion on what needs to be worked on, but he's not an engineer himself. It's not as easy as saying "we need more downforce" ; adding more downforce changes how the rest of the car performs. The engineers know better than him what is possible and what is not possible to do in what time window.

For me, what makes McLaren post '08 the absolute worst is not really the racing part of things. It's how they treated him as a person. Merc is not abusing and disrespecting Lewis the way McLaren did. McLaren did not listen to him because they didn't take him seriously. Merc did not listen to him yesterday because they were fucking idiots. Hence why I said it's not that bad yet. We have to distinguish independant mistakes from dysfunctional patterns. Imo, yesterday was an independant mistake, albeit probably the worst one I've seen them make so far. The dysfunctional pattern is them not seeing anything past engineering at this point. McLaren was also making independant mistakes, but McLaren's dysfunctional pattern was belittling their drivers. We're not there yet. And I'm not sure we can get there at all with 38yo Lewis.

[duckprintspress]

Round Table Discussion: Grammar Pet Peeves

Today, March 4th, is National Grammar Day! Last year, we celebrated with six of our favorite grammar quirks. This year, we’re going to the other end of the spectrum: we had a conversation with our editors and blog contributors about grammar things we hate. They may be technically correct, but that doesn’t mean they don’t make us crazy. Eighteen people, many anonymous, contributed to this discussion.

Dangling Modifiers

boneturtle: Dangling modifiers, hands down. Even when I can decipher what the writer meant based on context, it viscerally hurts me every time. When I am editing I have to stand up and take a lap around my apartment when I hit a dangling modifier. Remind myself that I am here to help. Learn more about dangling modifiers.

Commas

anonymous: Commas are not difficult! Commas end phrases. Full stop. That’s all they do. Is a phrase necessary to the grammatical coherence of the sentence? if the answer is yes, no commas because that phrase hasn’t ended. If the answer is no, commas! comma hug that bish if it’s the middle of a sentence. The difference between grammatical and informational is whether or not the sentence makes sense without the phrase. 

Examples: 

The man who ordered the six double anchovy pizzas claims to have a dolphin in his pool. 

You need “who ordered the six double anchovy pizzas” because you need to identify which man you’re talking about. The world is full of many men. 

The ancient Buick, which Madeleine purchased via Craigslist, belched black smoke whenever she pressed the accelerator. 

We don’t need to know how Madeleine purchased the car for the sentence to make sense. You don’t even meed “Madeleine” for the grammar to make sense. Therefore, hug that phrase! 

(a comma on each side of the phrase) or give it a dramatic send off with a comma and an end punctuation. (i could go into conjunctions, too, but those are a little more complex, and if you were taught them properly, i understand not getting the comma use 😂 ) 

Prepositions at the End of Sentences

Tris Lawrence: There was a dictionary (Merriam-Webster? Oxford? idek) that posted recently on social media about how the rule about not ending a sentence with a preposition came from English scholars trying to make English line up with Latin, and that it’s totally okay to do it… and I’m just wanting to point to it to yell THIS because uhhh trying to rework sentences to not end in a preposition often creates clunky awkward things (my opinion, I recognize this).

D. V. Morse: Ending sentences/clauses with a preposition. Well, not doing that is supposed to be the rule, but depending on the sentence, it can be a convoluted mess to try and avoid it. Winston Churchill famously told someone off after they “caught” him breaking that rule, saying, “This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put.” (Yes, I had to look that up.)

Pronoun Confusion

anonymous: I hate playing the pronoun game when reading. I hate it in life when someone comes up to me and tells me a story involving 2 people of the same pronouns and stops using names halfway through, and I hate it while reading too. Nothing makes me fall out of scene more if I don’t know who just did/said what. Use names. That’s why we have them.

Nina Waters: epithets. If I know the characters name…why? Also, when people use “you” in third person writing. There are times I’ll allow it as an editor/times when I do think it’s at least acceptable but not gonna lie, I absolutely hate it.

anonymous: My pet peeve … I read hundreds of essays in a given month for work, plus a whole lot of fanfic for fun. A rising issue that I have noticed in both places is incomplete sentences (lacking subjects, typically). I think it’s because people rely on Google’s grammar checker to tell them if something is wrong and…Google doesn’t check for that apparently. I’m increasingly convinced that my high schoolers simply weren’t taught sentence structure, because when I ask them to fix it they almost universally say some variant of “I don’t understand what you’re asking me to do.” Therefore, it might be punching down a little to complain about it. I’m not sure. It does drive me nuts though. Lol

“Would Of”

Neo Scarlett: Not quite sure if that falls under grammar, but I hate hate hate when people use “should of” instead of should’ve. Or “would of.” It just makes my toe nails curl up because it may sound right, but it looks wrong and is wrong.

Semi-Colons

Shea Sullivan: I saw a list punctuated by semicolons recently and that made me froth at the mouth a bit.

anonymous: I think any editor who’s worked with me knows that I have a pet peeve about using colons or semi-colons in dialogue. Or really, any punctuation mark that I don’t think people can actually pronounce. Semicolons can live anywhere that I don’t have to imagine a character actually pronouncing them.

English isn’t Dumb!

theirprofoundbond: As a former linguistics student, it bugs me a lot when people say that English is a dumb or stupid language because it has borrowed from so many languages. What people mean when they say this is, “English can be really difficult (even for native speakers).” But I wish people would say that, instead of “it’s dumb/stupid.” Languages are living things. Like other living things, they adapt and evolve. English is basically a beautiful, delightful platypus. Let it be a platypus.

Dei Walker: I remember seeing somewhere that English has four types of rules (I’m trying to find the citation today) and everyone conflates them. And I guess my pet peeve is that everyone treats them equally when they’re NOT. There are rules but not all of them are the same – there’s a difference between “adjectives precede nouns” (big truck, not *truck big) and “don’t split infinitives” (which is arbitrary).

And, because we couldn’t resist, here are some of our favorite things, because when we asked for pet peeves…some people still shared things they loved instead of things they hated.

Oxford Comma

Terra P. Waters: I really really love the Oxford comma.

boneturtle: me: [in kindergarten, using oxford comma]

teacher: no, we don’t add a comma between the last two objects in a list.

me: that’s illogical and incorrect.

anonymous: I will forever appreciate my second grade teacher’s explanation of Oxford comma use: Some sentences are harder to understand if you don’t use it, but no sentence will ever be harder to understand because you do use it. Preach, Mrs. D

anonymous: I am definitely Team Oxford Comma. I even have a bumper sticker which says so

Other Favorites

Shea Sullivan: I adore the emdash, to every editor’s chagrin.

Shadaras: zeugmas! I think they’re super cool!

Shea Sullivan and Hermit: I use sentence fragments a lot. Fragments my beloved.

English Grammar vs. Grammar in Other Languages

anonymous: so in English my favourite thing is the parallel Latin and Saxon registers because of how that affects grammar, but in Japanese my favourite grammatical thing is the use of an actual sound at the end of the sentence to denote a question, as opposed to how in English we use intonation? Also how in Japanese the sentence structure requires reasoning first and action second in terms of clauses. So rather than go “let’s go to the cinema because it’s raining and I’m cold,” you’d go “because it’s raining and I’m cold, let’s go to the cinema.” (My least favourite thing is the lack of spaces between words in the written form but that’s purely because I find that level of continuous letters intimidating to translate.)

I also love how Japanglish in the foreign communities in Japan starts to develop its own grammatical structure as a way of situating yourself in this space between the two languages. It’s used as a call-sign of belonging to that specific community, because in order to make some of the jokes and consciously break the rules of English or Japanese grammar and/or choose to obey one or the other, you’re basically displaying your control over both/knowledge of them. Like, the foreign community in Japan is often a disparate group of people with multiple different native languages who are relying on their knowledge of at least one non-native language but often two to signify their status in the group as Also An Outsider and I think that’s really interesting.

Nina Waters: Chinese and Japanese both drop subjects, and Chinese doesn’t have like… a/the… Japanese doesn’t have a future tense… Chinese kinda sorta doesn’t have tenses at all… (these are not pet peeves, btw, I love how learning a language with such different ways of approaching these things reshapes my brain). Chinese also doesn’t really have yes or no.

There’s a joke somewhere on Tumblr about that, though I actually think it’s about using “a” versus “the,” like, someone was giving a Russian speaker a hard time after they said “get in car” and they were like “only you English speakers are dumb enough to feel this is essential why would I be talking about getting into any random car of course I mean our car wtf.”

anonymous: on the subject of other languages, epithets are also something that happen differently in other languages. In French repeating a word (names included, and sometimes even pronouns) is considered bad writing. As in, way more than in English. Going by how grating the English translation of the Witcher books was to me when the French one was fine, I’d say it’s the same with Polish, at least. It’s also very interesting how brains adapt to writing styles in other languages.

What are some of your favorite and least favorite grammar quirks, in English or in the language of your choice?

[ynlcau]

obey me! headcanons (disgresion is advised)

lucifer

bro probably has a skin routine, and is very committed (mainly bc asmo harassed him to get one)

i feel like he would have a whole BAKERY for an ass. i mean, it would JIGGLE when walking

he sometimes can take opinions on himself to heart

i don't know why, but he smokes cigars. he looks like a cigar type of guy

but even tho he smokes them he would get PISSED if he saw his brother doing anything similar (cig, vapes, etc)

mammon

he would be the type to just stay on phone calls and do nothing. like when you're in the human realm, he like been on calls cuz it feels like your together

bro can walk in heels, don't ask why, he just can

i feel like if you had long hair he would love to braid it

he smells like a cat in a good way. some of my cats smell delicious so i feel like he would smell like them

TRANS MAMMON IS CANON, FUCK YOU 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

leviathan

one thing i think about constantly is that he smokes weed. and bro has the weirdest bongs

he's autistic bc i am, so i am correct 🥶🔥😈💯

he and asmo every now and then cosplay together. and they would like do each others makeup

this ones a little weird, but i think he's always hot. i could just be projecting, but i feel like when he is inside his room he wears less clothing and has a thousand fans on

satan (my pookie bear 😍😍)

BRO HAS FINGER TOES LMAOOO (don't ask why, he just does)

writes and edits fanfiction (with levi might i add)

once again, he also has autism bc i said so

i feel like once he lets his guard down, he stims infront of you

buys cigarettes from solomon (second pookie bear😍😍)

bonus: lowkey has a crush on solomon

asmodeus

he covers up any scars and such with magic bc it makes him feel imperfect 😭

i don't know why, but he had a goth faze

he vapes. frozen pineapple or strawberry watermelon. bro i don't know why this is a theme with my headcanons, but we going with it

when he finally realizes he's inlove with you, he deadass doesn't know what to do. bro gets flustered and panics

beelzebub

similar to mammon, he likes to braid your hair (if long) he finds it relaxing

has a 3ds and can BEAT you ass in mario car (also plays cooking mama 😍)

he loves to cook for you and clean. he is my malewife 😍😍

deadass just carries you around when he's bored

belphgor

nipple piercings 🥳🥳

bro love popsicles. especially blue raspberry and strawberry ones. he likes eating them with beel and you

COLD. ASS. FEET. little shit likes to put them on your leg when you about to fall asleep. has a smug ass grin too

smokes weed with levi and hangs out (mammon comes very now and then)

this is my first time posting on here so sorry if it's a little crap. i plan to write more headcanons for the bros and side characters. especially for asmo, but mine are kinda depressing for him. also sorry for all the smoking, my friend's birthday is coming up and ima get a little litty titty.

[thebisexualdogdad]

Can you some bi Lizzie x trans Landon headcanons?

● Lizzie and Josie came out to each other at the same time when they were 13

● "Lizzie I need to tell you something… I'm pansexual"

● "really? Jo I was just about to tell you I'm bi"

● Landon started identifying as male when he was 7

● Rafael was the first person from any of his foster homes who supported him

● any time their foster parents or any of the kids at school misgendered him Rafael corrected them (and got into a few fights over it)

● but when they came to Salvatore school everyone embraced Landon's identity and he was shocked

● Lizzie who immediately started crushing on him "why would we care that you're trans? We are literally at a school for the supernatural"

● it took months for people to figure out Lizzie and Landon were dating because they are always bickering

● people are like do they even really like each other? When that's just their love language

● Lizzie always scolds Landon for wearing his binder too long

● "Landon you can't keep sleeping in your binder!"

● "I'm sorry! I was playing dnd with the guys last night and was so tired I forgot to take it off!"

● and Landon hates doing his T shots cause he's not a fan of needles

● so Lizzie learns how to do it for him

● Lizzie is very casually a huge nerd

● Landon and Wade will be deep into discussion about something nerdy when Lizzie chimes in with her own opinion on the subject

● Wade is looking at her so confused cause why does Lizzie know anything about this?

● And Landon is smiling proudly like that's my girl

● Landon coming back to his room after class to find Lizzie in his bed reading his comics

● MG accuses Landon of borrowing his comics and not returning them when really it was Lizzie who just didn't bother to tell them she was taking them

● still so much arguing

● and Lizzie calling Landon "endearing" nicknames like bird boy

● Jed and Kaleb were chilling in the lounge when Landon and Lizzie were walking by very loudly arguing about who the best batman was

● ten minutes later they went to the kitchen to get some snacks and found Landon and Lizzie making out

● Kaleb "they have the weirdest relationship"

● Jed "how do we get them to move so I can get to the chips?"

● Hope "don't bother, I had to magically move them so I could open the fridge"

● Lizzie making fun of Landon for being shorter than her

● "you're only an inch taller than me!"

● "and yet I can reach the top shelf and you can't"

● if Connor, Dana or any other kid from Mystic Falls high try to bully Landon best believe Lizzie torments them

● "only I'm allowed to pick on him you assholes!"

● she didn't even need to use her magic to slash the tires on Connors car

● Lizzie had Rafael help her build a cool organization drawer to store all of Landon's dnd dice

● and when she gives it to him all the dice are organized by color and Landon loves it

● when Mystic Falls pride comes around most of the school goes out to celebrate

● Lizzie wears a shirt that says "I love my trans boyfriend"

● and Landon has a matching shirt that says "I love my bisexual girlfriend"

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

I would deadass mean a lot to me if it was made canon that Willy, Ron and Scary all have aspd/npd/autisim. Like the(largely accidental)rep would be so great in my opinion.

I fully believe Ron also has npd but unlike Willy he had somewhat of a support system through his mother and later the dads.

Scary fundamentally struggles with empathy and connecting emotionally with others. As much as the "lol I'm an angsty teen girl who's a mean loser" is like a joke, its sorta played too over the top to not be indicative of something else here.

Even as a autistic child I knew there was something "wrong" about me. I felt out of step with reality and often that no one actually could understand me.

Scary is constantly trying to connect and then failing in a way that I actually think is really similar to Willy.

I always interpreted the Fishing Scene as Willy legitimately being like "uhhg ok what do dads do?? They take their sons fishing????" Willy was very loosely trying to be a "person" and the second it went wrong he gave up immediately and just went back to the solution that's worked for him since he was a kid dealing with annoyance/harm.

Repeatedly there are these moments where Scary, very awkwardly is attempting to connect/mask and be a part of the group and works for like 10 seconds and then she can't keep the jig up and goes back to her normal/natural behaviors. Specifically I think the DnD game is a good example of this for her. Its really common for people like us to have this tbh sorta irrational belief that we know the "right way to have fun". Travis McElroy actually talked about how his npd would often make him genuinely frustrated at his family during Graduation because they weren't playing it right and he would have to stop, think, and remember " oh I'm not the ultimate authority for fun and other ppl can play however they want"(did he actually do that? No, but still he's trying I guess)

When I was a kid I'd get mad at my brother for adding toy cars to our fantasy games cuz cars don't belong in dragons and princess political dramas and my mom would literally tell a 6 year old me "u know this is why no one plays with u at school right?" Absolutely devastating but she was right lol.

Scary being controlling and weird and saying no constantly during her game is such peak npd/autistic behavior. She thinks that her way is the "correct" and "fun" way to play and gets frustrated when they won't play right. And the worse part is that she's very clearly trying so hard here. This is uncomfortable and difficult for her to be vulnerable and open like this. But she can't seem to do it right and the end result is everyone playing without her. Once again proving in her mind that No One Understands her and that she's Alone.

Scary can't mask or connect in her own neurodivergent way and she's literally being left out. Her sense of empathy and right/wrong is slightly off from everyone else's and more often then not Link or Normal's reaction to that is to call her bad or just get(rightfully)angry at her for not being able to understand something that is literally not able to come to her naturally like everyone else.

Or maybe its just really funny for Scary to be a over the top emo teen and for Ron to be unhinged lunatic who will say the most hurtful and deranged shit of a whim. Lol its sorta difficult to apply this deep analysis cuz how much of this is Beth genuinely giving us character information and how much is it "oh wouldn't it be funny if I said who's ur daddy tho" and I'm supposed to just laugh and not go on a iasip style conspiracy on Ron's brain

[wildelydawn]

Hello!!!

So I came across some of your posts on the kimchay tag and I just wanted to share some thoughts and ask for your opinion, if that’s okay!

I was rewatching the heartbreaking kimchay scene and I was hit with something… “why does Kim want to push Porchay away??” On one hand, we as a fandom have been saying that it’s because he doesn’t want Porchay to be hurt because of the mafia lifestyle and all that. But on the other…. Kim also knows that Porchay is living at their house. He so casually asks him how he’s doing there. Porchay is already in too deep. So why does Kim want to push him away still?? I think at this point (the “breakup” scene), Kim already knows that it was his father who covered up the car accident.

When they first showed Kim in this ep, he was looking at the board and he was wearing the full denim outfit… he was also wearing that outfit at the end of the episode, when the inspector told him about his father. Keeping this mind… I assumed that the “breakup” scene happened after, instead of in the middle like they played it out for us. So again I can’t help but wonder… what exactly does Kim get from pushing Porchay away like this… maybe he’s scared of his reaction when he finds out the truth about his parents’ death?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!!!

Much love ^^

Hello!!! Thank you for thinking of me when asking these questions!

I’m going to start with your first question, which is “Why does Kim want to push Porchay away??” I think what you said about the fandom’s theory is correct: Reason #1 is protection. In my opinion, “protection” as a reason can be broken down to two branches. So, Reason #1A: Protect Porchay from Kim. Here, I’m going to cite @luckydragon10 's brilliant post on Kim and Isolation, which you should read in its entirety, as it does a great job in breaking down how Kim functions/thinks. Here, Nemi writes, “To Kim, Isolation feels a lot safer than the vulnerability of giving a shit and loving someone” (@luckydragon10, 2022). Kim has used isolation to protect himself. It would make sense that he believes isolation should, theoretically, help Porchay in the long run. That being said, Kim himself is not a safe person. He’s a mafia kid, whether he likes it or not. Yes, the main house’s problem caused the kidnapping, but let’s be honest: Kim didn’t exactly shield Porchay from the mafia until things came to a climax. So, pushing Porchay away means that Kim can protect Porchay from Kim. We should also consider Porchay’s age. As much as I love Porchay, he’s, what, 18 in the series? He has an idealistic view of love; he thinks there can be a happy ending; it’s why he asks if Kim ever loved him, because he thinks there can be a chance. On the other hand, the Theerpanyakul family is cautious of love because rarely does it bring something beneficial to the table. Look at the destruction Tawan caused for years. If we combine Kim’s reliance on isolation, the family’s bad luck with love, and the mafia as a whole, Kim and Porchay being together has a snowball’s chance in hell. What does Kim get from Reason #1A? Assurance that he himself will not physically hurt or indirectly cause physical pain to Porchay. (Now, whether the physical outweighs the emotional is a whole other argument.)

This brings me to Reason #1B: Protect Porchay from the (Mafia) House. I’m gonna use exactly what you said: “Kim also knows that Porchay is living at their house.” I don’t know if anyone’s done a setting analysis of the physical house yet, but the Theerpanyakul house is not safe y’all. Tawan infiltrated it within a day. Vegas comes in and out, and he’s basically unwelcome half the time. Tankhun could murder someone with a sheet pan and nail file. Korn himself is not a safe or reliable person, as the audience is beginning to find out (and probably has had an inkling of since the earlier episodes.) In my opinion, and probably Kim’s too, this house is not safe for Porchay because he’s right under Korn’s thumb; so he asks how Porchay's doing there. In my opinion, Porchay’s  now situated to be a chess piece. What better way to control your future son-in-law by having his younger brother in this house, under the guise of safety? I’m not saying we should shit on Korn; but I am saying we should be wary, because Kim is wary. What does Kim get from Reason #1B and asking if Porchay is settled into the new home? Some sort of sign that Porchay is relatively safe from mafia affairs even though the house itself is unsafe. 

With this in mind, I personally believe Kim thrives in isolation. And that brings me to Reason #2: Complete the Mission(s). Kim started all of this with a core mission in mind: find the mole and protect his family. And I’ve talked about this prior: how when Kim is with Chay, he’s distracted from actually pinning down the mole/threat to his family (for example, telling Porchay to write a love song, fixating on Porchay in other ways.) And even though Ken’s beheaded, the mole is gone, the Main family is still in a vulnerable spot because of Vegas’ involvement and disappearance. There’s still a threat, and quite frankly, and keeping Nemi’s thoughts in mind, Kim is making more progress with Porchay at arm’s distance. Again, no offense to Porsche and Kinn, who should enjoy themselves, but right now, it is Kim moving the plot forward by interrogating the former police officer and finding out Korn is behind this. So, why does Kim push Porchay away? To make progress. Love is blinding, and Kim can’t afford to be blind right now, especially since Big’s dead, Vegas is loose in the wild, and Porchay is involved. He needs to find the truth, so he needs to isolate and focus. (And I get that. Whether it's academic, personal, or creative writing, I isolate myself for days, just to write. So if I was investigating someone or something, I’d push people away too.) 

Reason #3: Kim needs to protect himself. I want to jokingly cite BBC’s Sherlock (since we love calling Kim “Kimlock Holmes.”) Very famously, Sherlock says to John Watson, “Alone is what I have. Alone protects me.” When Sherlock says this, he’s implying that friends, family, strangers, can betray him at any turn. Kim is someone that was raised to be suspicious: hence, he suspects this ray of sunshine at the start of the series. Kim knows no one can betray him if he’s alone, which I think is different from isolation. Isolation, for Kim, is self imposed for many reasons (artistic, familial, social), but being alone is self-sacrifice for Kim. While he’s no longer suspicious of Porchay, Porchay is his weakness. Sure, my man can take two tasers, but he got involved with the mafia again because he wants to protect Porchay. He knows he can be a better chess piece/investigator if he’s alone. So he destroys his relationship with Porchay.

Reason #4: That young adult teenage bullshit of “If yOU LoVe THeM leT tHEm GoO.” That’s it. I firmly believe Kim can be cliche. I mean come on. "Who do you like and can you write them a love song??" That’s top tier cliche. Hell, I did that in my early twenties. I could definitely see Kim pulling the “If it’s meant to be, it will be” crap. (This is purely my speculation, and there’s really no evidence for it at all. What can I say? I’m  hopeless romantic.)

I’m going to very gently push back on your observation that the break up was after he found out about Korn’s involvement. At the start of the episode, Kim’s first outfit is dark wash denim with the sleeves rolled down, a black t-shirt, double chain necklace with a loop, and only one ear accessorized with earrings. 

The second denim outfit is similar, but has some key changes: dark wash denim that looks lighter because of the sunlight, with the sleeves rolled up, a black t-shirt, and a chain link necklace with charms, with both ears adorned with earrings. I have a crazy theory that necklaces mean something, but, as my best friend tells me, an accessory can make or break an outfit. I think the absence of earrings, changes in the necklaces, and stylization of the denim means two different outfits, which would mean that 1) Yes, Kim Theerpanyakul is AN OUTFIT REPEATER but 2) He’s technically wearing two different outfits because of those key differences. 

That aside, to talk more about these outfits, I’d like to cite @hael987's theory on Dark/Light Kimchay. Here, they suggest that Porchay exists in brighter lightening/warmer and brighter tones, while Kim exists in the opposite. I think some of that is applicable here to differentiate the outfits. When Kim is wearing the first denim outfit, he’s back in the dark, alone, cold. As @hael987 says, “Kim lives in a darker world…  living alone and away from his family” (2022). Now, when he interrogates the police officer at the temple, Kim is basked in a lighter setting, making his clothes appear a bit lighter. (EDIT: hael987 talks more about this here, which you may want to read as well!) While the lighter tones symbolize family for Porchay, it unfortunately and literally signals Porchay’s family as Kim finds out his family is involved with Chay’s parents’ deaths. Does that make sense? It might not. I’m sorry.

If Kim does end up feeling scared of Porchay’s reaction to whatever he finds out about his parents’ deaths, then that’s a good thing. That means Kim has learned to weigh other people’s emotions against consequences (which he may have not done/underestimated in ep 11.) It means he’s becoming empathetic and more understanding about what it means to love someone unconditionally. 

The overarching question of what Kim gets from all of this? Who knows. To me, he gets peace of mind. He gets assurance of Porchay’s safety. He gets more time and focus on solving the murders and protecting his family. I don’t know if those are good enough reasons to push Porchay away. What I can say is that, besides murder, I am guilty of pushing people away for those same reasons, and more, so I understand Kim’s actions. 

This is very long and I am so sorry.

[postguiltypleasures]

My Peak TV Journey *Good Omens 2*

While also behind in writing about this, I did watch Good Omens 2 this summer. I loved the original book when I read it as a teen, and mostly enjoy the series. But in the time between my teenage reading and now, I developed an aversion Biblical literalism, something on which this story relies. I’m torn about how to assess this. I also watched the first season with a group of friends and family and the second alone, so I’m also wary about judging it too harshly based on the changes of my circumstances.

I neither reread the the book nor rewatched the first season before the new one, despite being a little more than four years since between each. So the details of the detente that ended the first season, including how Aziraphale and Crowley no longer have official working instructions from Heaven and Hell respectively, were forgotten. It made me think that it’s probably for the best that so few of the first season’s characters returned. (At least the human ones.) 

Aziraphale and Crowley are naturally the center of the story. They are so charming, it’s hard to imagine wanting anyone else there. Aziraphale is trusting and naive, but he really does believe in the mission of Heaven. Crowley is more knowing but more reactive, less a driver of plot. It would be awful if he were still working for Hell. Then the show would be entirely, unequivocally endorsing the point of view of Hell. The scenes taking part in Hell, Hell does look Hellish, even if Heaven doesn’t look Heavenly. Maybe the point of the series is about how much easier it is to imagine Hell and torture than a paradise where people are happy and well kept? I doubt it. It’s more likely that its message is about how dividing things between good and evil/ my side vs yours just cuts us off from so much.

The first season featured Frances McDorment as God wryly narrating us through the various plot points and time frames. She was almost completely absent here. The only time we heard the voice of God was during the part where they told their version of the story of Job. (Pete Davison aka the Fifth Doctor, aka David Tennent’s real life father-in-law played Job and was delightful.) For a brief moment we heard her berating Job for questioning his change in fortune. It felt like a friendly reminder that McDorment played God here. But i mostly didn’t miss the voice over. 

While writing this I started wondering if I was supposed to miss the voice over. Over the course of the first season it partially serves to emphasize the farcical nature of things. They are all under the guidance of God even if they don’t understand how. Was the absence of voice-of-God-over supposed to create doubt about if things are according to plan? To give the sense that maybe God has forsaken us? Or maybe the affect I described with the voice over in the first season was unintentional, and this was a course correction. I’m interested if it ever returns, especially as the way the finale sets up a potential third season makes it look more like a mirror image of the first season than a continuation of the second. 

I’m going to write a little more about thoughts I had while watching before wrapping up. The aspect of the plot where singles in the jukebox of a Scottish Pub all end up turning into Buddy Holly’s “Every Day” was lovely especially when it was revealed why it was happening. It reminded me of how in the book all the tapes left in Crowley’s car turned into The Best of Queen. This did not make the original miniseries, probably because who has tape decks in cars anymore? But also, maybe because of changing opinions on Queen over the years?

I also wanted to not that the episode with the WW2 flashback Windmill, which I only know of from the movie Mrs. Henderson Presents. While I knew it was real, I believe this is only the second time I’ve come across it in pop culture.