#all without having to leave your room
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cant tell you how bad it feels to constantly tell other artists to come to tumblr, because its the last good website that isn't fucked up by spoonfeeding algorithms and AI bullshit and isn't based around meaningless likes
just to watch that all fall apart in the last year or so and especially the last two weeks
there's nowhere good to go anymore for artists.
edit - a lot of people are saying the tags are important so actually, you'll look at my tags.
#please dont delete your accounts because of the AI crap. your art deserves more than being lost like that #if you have a good PC please glaze or nightshade it. if you dont or it doesnt work with your style (like mine) please start watermarking #use a plain-ish font. make it your username. if people can't google what your watermark says and find ur account its not a good watermark #it needs to be central in the image - NOT on the canvas edges - and put it in multiple places if you are compelled #please dont stop posting your art because of this shit. we just have to hope regulations will come slamming down on these shitheads#in the next year or two and you want to have accounts to come back to. the world Needs real art #if we all leave that just makes more room for these scam artists to fill in with their soulless recycled garbage #improvise adapt overcome. it sucks but it is what it is for the moment. safeguard yourself as best you can without making #years of art from thousands of artists lost media. the digital world and art is too temporary to hastily click a Delete button out of spite
#not art#but important#please dont delete your accounts because of the AI crap. your art deserves more than being lost like that#if you have a good PC please glaze or nightshade it. if you dont or it doesnt work with your style (like mine) please start watermarking#use a plain-ish font. make it your username. if people can't google what your watermark says and find ur account its not a good watermark#it needs to be central in the image - NOT on the canvas edges - and put it in multiple places if you are compelled#please dont stop posting your art because of this shit. we just have to hope regulations will come slamming down on these shitheads#in the next year or two and you want to have accounts to come back to. the world Needs real art#if we all leave that just makes more room for these scam artists to fill in with their soulless recycled garbage#improvise adapt overcome. it sucks but it is what it is for the moment. safeguard yourself as best you can without making#years of art from thousands of artists lost media. the digital world and art is too temporary to hastily click a Delete button out of spite
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Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)
#lay rambles#my ocs#oc: liam hawke#oc: lilian hawke#both my hawkes are very social w their friends but i love comparing their boundaries around it#theres variation in rules for specific ppl with both of them ofc but theres still general differences#with liam its all very open and everyone can p much come and go whenever#they dont get extra keys (theyll get lost and he doesnt want randos finding them lol) but they know where to find the spare key#and bodhan and sandal and orana know to let them in whenever#hes very lenient in this this regard but he does have rules abt what he does and doesnt want them to do#mostly its about not making too much of a mess lol bc liam prefers to clean himself#(he doesnt trust the crew with his household and also he has particular ways of doing things and Hates when theyre done differently)#so things like keep your dirty garb at the entrance dont cook by yourselves (this was banned after they did it one (1) time lol) etc#also no fucking allowed. do that somewhere else for the love of the maker he does NOT want to walk into that in his own house#(and it also comes back to liam not trusting them with cleaning but also Not wanting to clean that up lol)#also he is not fond of them going into his room uninvited. most of the house is chill but that is *his* space#he accommodates these rules by e.g. having spare slippers and a little washing basin in the entrance hall for dirty shoes/feet#always makes sure to have snacks in stock that he knows they like#food will have notes abt what to leave for leandra/orana/etc but otherwise food is prepared with his friends in mind#and in general he'll make sure to adjust the space/routine in little ways to accommodate them#(air out when fen isnt there cus he doesnt like drafts; keep curtains open cus anders prefers open spaces; etc)#lilian on the other hand doesnt like when her friends come into the estate without a heads up (cept for emergencies)#but once they have her 'ok' its basically mi casa es su casa#dont yknow. overdo it and get too rowdy but otherwise do whatever#however. she also expects everyone to clean up after themselves. she aint here to play maid and youre all adults#also liam has a general 'please try to not be too wild when leandra is here' and lilian doesnt#not cos she doesnt care but cos leandra is bothered by sth she can speak up herself#oh and lilian uses the basement space as temporary refuge for anyone who needs it (mostly escaped mages)#also side note: both offered gamlen to stay but he refused (out of pride/remorse)#...this got long and i ran out of tag space lmfao so this is it for now xD
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sneepy cozy time....
#cats#longing to one day hopefully feel sleepy cozy like this again...#There was a pretty cool week here so I thought we had progressed closer to cool fall weather but... NO#..wrong!! It's like 80F in my room right now and was 98F outside yesterday. We get two more 'cooler' days and then#it starts going up again and will be in the high 90s possibly 100 something later this week#in my mind september should be COOOOOLLLL!!!!! or at least STARTING to get there.. Like mid 80s at the highest.#I am going to explode the world with evil wizard powers aaRGHaaHHHHHHHH#OR at least it should get down really low at night. I think thats the main thing is if it's 95 in the day and only 62 for like 3 hours in#the middle of the night then even leaving a fan in windows all night is not enough to fully cool down the house because its just not#enough cold air or cool for long enough. If it were 98 in the day but 15F outside at night then you could probably bring cool air inside al#night and your house would be at a relatively low starting point for the next days heat.#Like for example - in my apartment on a hot and sunny day. Even with every window#closed and blocked off with thick layers of reflective stuff and also not using the stove or doing anything to generate heat - the apartmen#will still go up on average about 6 - 8 degrees in one day. Peaking around 8 - 10pm night time. If I start off with the house cooled down#to 60F. then the highest it would get is 66 - 68 which is tolerable#.But if the lowest I can cool the apartment all night is still only 75F#then it's going to be 81 - 83F by the end of the day. So really it would be bearable (ISH)#for it to be warm as long as it was colder at night.#Though still the IDEAL is to not have to structure my life around envrionmental management and constantly be checking the#outdoor temperature so I can put the fans in the second that it's colder outside than it is inside and putting elaborate curtain systems#up and down at the exact right times and meal prepping 4 days in advance so I dont have to use the stove for 3 days and blah blah blah#Life in the colder weather months is so effortless and breezy in that sense. I can just have the window open all day and get natural light.#I can cook whatever I want. I can wear what I like. I can move around the house freely without needing to always#carry a fan around with me or douse myself in water.#ANYWAY.... oh if only that were me.... snuggled in a warm blanket ... a comforting wintery image...
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Peace and love on planet Earth but if I see one more post NOT about recovery and, in fact, encouraging eating disorders in the ed recovery tag, I might just turn into a chimpanzee and tear everyone's faces off.
#ed recovery#are you people for real?#ONE. I'm asking for ONE tag.#how tone-deaf and cruel do you have to be to post your active ed behaviour absolutely without any trigger warnings#or forewords#you know what i foolishly expect in the es recovery tag? ed recovery. yes i know very presumptuous of me.#i expect people who are trying to recover or are in recovery sharing their experiences and maybe some body positivity#talking about how hard recovery can be; for example. etc etc.#you know what happens in the tag? of course you do. ana meal diaries. posts about nothing but how much you body check#talking about how much you hate yourself because you're trying to lose 10kg and yesterday you had a salad and now you're asking#for tips how to get better at restricting and continuing your ed.#everyone who does that is a ghoul. and I'm done being nice and ignoring that shit.#like. some fucking room check maybe? I'm sitting in my flat shaking from cold which is caused only partly by the room temperature#and I'm doing my best to avoid everyone i know because i can't stand the thought of them seeing my form and when someone#i know accidentally meets me on the street or somewhere i feel like shit because I'm disgusting and if it were up to me#i wouldn't even leave this flat at all. so you know. naturally. i try to get myself at least some form#of support. i try to look for positivity for people like me; who are trying to recover. i want an outside source to affirm that I am not#repulsive. that I'm not insane when i think that all bodies are cool and fascinating and that there's no way or shape anyone is#expecting me to be in order to earn their love or at least their lust. and what do i get instead? you ghouls#wonderful. lovely. think about all the people like me next time you decide to post that shit in the recovery tag. thanks.
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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siiiiiiigh
#i am in fact a grown adult who is still incapable of talking about their feelings and thoughts to people so I'll just rant here#my relationship with my mother is. so weird. it's not always bad but it always ends up bad for one reason or another#she can be perfectly civil and i'll still be irritated. other times i do try to tolerate it and engage and she ends up saying something#upsetting to me either way.#i don't want to keep being rude to her i don't want to get mad and annoyed all the time but i just can't stop. it's always like this#and i hate myself for it and i hate her and i hate everything about it#today i was leaving for work and she was like. i'll take the trash out of your room and i told her not to do it. she kept insisting and i#had to raise my voice at her to maybe get the point across to get her not to touch anything#and yes my room is a fucking mess and it is something to be embarrassed of. i just feel so fucking tired all time time and i keep tellin#myself that i will clean it this time for sure and then i don't. most of the time it's my mother taking care of it without my permission#and i am grateful for it bc nobody likes living in a mess... but i also fucking hate it because it makes me feel even more worthless#i just can't get rid of the feeling of shame. no matter what i do.#and back to the mother thing. i told her that if she touches anything i will go to her room and throw out anything that isn't nailed down#even though objectively i have no reason to oppose her helping me#but i also fucking hate it#maybe being rude is the only way to get it across. but also i get irritated about anything so easily#i feel shittier and shittier every day. had there been an easy and painless way of killing myself i would have done it already#and despite how much i want to blame this on a disorder or lack of access to medication. there is no magic pill that would fix me is there#i'm just a shitty person who cannot get it together despite everything being handed to me#i'm literally bad at anything and everything. i'm not even a good blogger lmao#people have it much worse in life and still do better. me? i'm useless. there's no helping it. i should have died from covid or something#nobody will save me. nobody cares enough. besides one person whom i push away because i can't stand her and i don't even know why 👍#if i stop messaging people first most of them would forget about me#i am alone. a lonely person in a messy room desperately trying to be entertaining so someone will pay a little bit of attention to me.#not to mention the geopolitics#i won't even go there. i hate the possibility that people might see it mentioned and give me shit for it#one more thing that is apparently my fault. directly or indirectly#all i want is to leave this country. spend the day with someone who cares for me like an actual friend. and then shoot myself so i don't#have to go back#sealene.txt
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Song Lyrics: Truamabond By Yulia Inferis
Im all alone… I'm all alone
Don't forget to call me back
Im in a room… without you
I hope one day you come back
You know I'm that bad
Cause I don't want to leave you
leave you leave you alone
But its something that I have to do
Maybe someday I'll come home
You and I
Summertime
Don't You cry
Don't you cry
Trumabond
It's all we know
Baby I will let you go
Kiss me before you go now
Baby don't you cry
It's gon be ok now
Cause lately…
Everything's gonna be allright
You know
Don't you… don't you ever cry
I love you
Play this song when I die
Dont you… don't you take your life
…..fuck
Im all alone… I'm all alone
Don't forget to call me back
Im in a room… without you
I hope one day you come back
Cause I don't want to leave you
leave you leave alone
But its something that I have to do
Maybe someday I'll come home
You and I
Summertime
Don't You cry
Don't you cry
Trumabond
It's all we know
Baby I will let you go
Kiss me before you go now
Baby don't you cry
It's gon be ok now
Suicide
Everything's gonna be allright
You know
Don't you… don't you ever cry
I love you
Play this song when I die
Dont you… don't you take your life
…..goodbye
Im all alone… I'm all alone
Don't forget to call me back
Im in a room… without you
I hope one day you come back
You know I'm that bad
Cause I don't want to leave you
leave you leave alone
But its something that I have to do
Maybe someday I'll come home
#Don't forget to call me back#Im in a room… without you#I hope one day you come back#You know I'm that bad#Cause I don't want to leave you#leave you leave you alone#But its something that I have to do#Maybe someday I'll come home#You and I#Summertime#Don't You cry#Don't you cry#Trumabond#It's all we know#Baby I will let you go#Kiss me before you go now#Baby don't you cry#It's gon be ok now#Cause lately…#Everything's gonna be allright#You know#Don't you… don't you ever cry#I love you#Dont you… don't you take your life#…..fuck#Suicide#…..goodbye#poetrylovers#poetrysociety#dark
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Underrated Sibling Moment is actually mitsu being like ‘i dont want to go back to the captain alone are you insane’ after ichi fumbles the loan collection and ichi has to ditch him for a few hours and mitsu can only kill time and Not think of The Inevitable until they can go back to sawashiro together as if that’ll save them from The Inevitable like if you get it You Get How Real That Was
#snap chats#the best part about getting a new phone. ‘’’new’’’#is that i can make goofy posts ten times faster now that i dont have to wait a year for the app to open#ANYWAY NO YK WHAT I MEAN#LIKE AS IF GOING TO YOUR PARENT TOGETHER WONT JUST GET BOTH YOUR ASSES BEAT#growing up it was the same shit with my sisters and i#if we were out of the house and knew mom was home we’d find any and every excuse to stay out until she was asleep#or she locked herself in her room to do work all night#STOOOPPP I REMEMBER THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVE EVE OF MY LIFE#my dad wanted to get lunch with my sis and i but our mom was home and in the kitchen and yk#we can’t just leave without saying where we’re going ig#bro when i say my sis had a whole breakdown because she did not want to tell our mom#it was painful like TRULY#SAME PLAY OUT TOO NOW THAT I THINK OF IT in the beginning she acted Not Mad#and then very quickly Was Mad and it was just awful all around#made it very gard to enjoy lunch ngl but hey.#after that I Do Not Lie she and i just hung out at the mall for the next eight hours LMAO#but yeah. the accidental story time is integral to understanding this feeling i promise#ITS JUST SO REAL ESP WHEN YOU FUCKED UP AND YOU JUST KNOW YOUR PARENT GONNA FIND OUT LMAO#the most evil shit is when your parent starts getting mad and thrn your siblings clear like roaches#LIKE OH OK. I THOUGHT WE WERE RIDE OR DIEHDVEC#anyway shout out my man mitsu i dont mention you ever but know i see you and ily
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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I think that
#it’s horrible being your own worst enemy#like I have been mentally destroying myself since I was 5 years old#and my severe hatred that I have for myself destroys everything around me#I don’t know how to stop#I feel like a negative burdan on everyone’s life#like what’s the point#I don’t want to continue to be the girl that sucks the energy out of a room#in a negative way#I hate myself so much and I don’t think I’ll ever get to a point where I’m okay#I think it will get worse and worse and everyone I love will leave me because they are tired of my shit#I don’t want to be here honestly I think everyone will be better without my negative ass around#I hate being sad I think it’s all in my head but I don’t know where else to go#it haunts me and follows me everywhere#I can’t continue#I’ll probably be okay#don’t worry about me
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gonna strangle one of my roommates
#''''borrowed'''' (without warning/asking) mine and one of our other roommates ice packs over the weekend#leaving both of us with nothing to keep our lunches cool when both of us are out of the house at work/school all day#and left them in a cooler. with. perishable food. just. sitting. in the fucking house#didn't put the food away. didn't put the ice packs back in the freezer#just left it sitting there#with eggs and milk and fruit. to rot. in a room temperature cooler. in the living room#and HE says he wants to move out so he isn't feeling constrained or burdened by having a couple girls in our early 20s for roommates....#motherfucker put your FOOD AWAY and CLEAN YOUR OWN GDDAMN MESSES why don't you#jesus christ at least we know how to wash a fucking pan without leaving it in the sink for two days first#i have had it with this fucking guy already oh my gd#i wanna talk about me
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not rascal's deadbeat owner coming around when im not home and telling my roommate she's taking him for a week (our break is 4 weeks or so, implying he's gonna be back here even though That's Her Cat Not Ours) and then just picking up the new toys i bought for him and taking them with her without even asking. hey. hi. those are mine
#like yes i want rascal to use them so he can be happy and fulfilled but also i dont fucking trust you#she didnt even ask. i wasnt even AROUND and she just yoinked them#she also took the new litter box my roomie got for him bc the old one was so caked in shit that 20 mins in a powerful sink didnt even#change it. like bedrock-hard cat shit. who fucking knows how old that was bc they never clean or empty it. fucks sake#and obv he needs a litter box and my roomie threw the old one away bc again it was Unsalvageably And Hazardously Filthy#like we could get sick he could get sick. get a grip#but like i dont wanna be feeding her replacements for her stuff she doesn't take care of over and over#just burning money trying to make rascal's life a Little better bc again our control over his situation is limited bc hes literally her cat#it's so frustrating. like i waited a full month to get him new toys bc i didn't know how long this situation was gonna last and i dont have#cats and cant have them for a while (not that this is stopping me oops) so it's not like the toys'll be used w me#like if she decided to up and drop him at a shelter like she'd planned less than a couple months ago I'd be sittjng in a pile of cat stuff#but he needs more stuff yknow. theyre not providing for him and i have the means to atm. and just when i bite the bullet and surprise him#with a bunch of new things he was SO excited about she swoops in without warning and takes him#god. my roommate told me he just froze up when his owner came in..and he looked so pissed about it#having to go back and leave us and leave all his fun new stuff to go back to the room where they cant even bother to feed him regularly#much less play with him or take care of him#it's heartbreaking. it's such a delicate situation im trying to move carefully so we don't lose him completely but it's so frustrating going#slow. ughhghhgh AND THEYRE ALWAYS LIKE man he's so much nicer to y'all. MAYBE IT'S BC WE TREAT HIM WELL. CRAZY THOUGHT I KNOW#fucking. i love that little man this sucks for him so bad. trying to get him back for a couple days while im here but no response yet#and my roommate's staying on campus over break so she's gonna show up as soon as that week's over like I'm Here For Rascal. Your Time Is Up.#rauguhhhhh sorry if these rascal vent posts are a downer guys. it's just. god dude. fucking hell#i know this is a stupid situation i have gotten myself into i know it's stupid to try and finagle someone's pet from them BUT SHES ABUSIVE#AND SUPER LIKE. INDIFFERENT?? AND APATHETIC ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THE PPL SHE DUMPS HIM ON CARE FOR HIM WELL OR NOT. AGH#sighhhh. whatever. gotta focus on tmr's exam and then i can complain about rascal some more.#i get she prolly thinks it's a team effort but the only reason we take her stuff is bc we didn't have a cat and werent planning on it#ggggghhzgzzjzjkkzkzkkzkk. grinding my teeth
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While I don't know much about it, I would probably bet there are tons of issues with the cruise industry that would make me not actually appreciate it broadly speaking - HOWEVER, I do really love a lot of the interior design of some cruise ships.. How it's almost like a miniature city crammed into one area. Multiple sections with all different aesthetic designs, a variety of shops, restaurants, activity centers, community seating areas, communal use spaces (like gyms, laundry, pools, cafeteria/buffet (which I always love anywhere)), etc. etc. but then also everyone has a little nice clean comfortable looking space of their own to retreat back to if they'd like to be alone. Maybe it's something akin to the idea of 'walkable cities', where everything you could ever want to do is kind of right there just a short walk away? I also especially love how so much stuff is stacked on top of other stuff, a layered cluster of spaces, bright open atriums, and when they're set up with little walkways down the center between a bunch of rooms so it's almost like a mini city street with apartments lining it, etc.. They often seem like they'd be SUCH a cool place to live permanently, IF only something identical was just built on solid land instead lol
#currently watching a channel on youtube where some person is reviews/tours cruise ships or something#and I'm just like wow the whole traveling part would be miserable hell and I would hate trying to get off of the stupid ship everyday#and see seomthing and make it back in time or etc. but OOOOO THE BEDROOMS! love the TINY minifrige!! eeee .. lol#perhaps just an extension of of my obsession with communal spaces. also love hospitals. nursing homes. hotels. AIRPORTS!!!#thats just how humans are meant to live for me. my ideal situation is that sot of thing like big beautiful bright communal places#but i also hate socializing i just like the idea of like. the entire communal world is in front of me but i also have my own little space t#retreat back to. youre not forced to participate. but the world is right outside your window if you WANT to go. ALSO people watching is fun#Plus i think part of what i hate most about Going Places and Doing Things is the commitment of it and traveling#especially in america where its like to get ANYWHERE it's a 3 hour drive or 15 min drive#or 20 min drive or 1 hr bus ride or blah blah. the idea of having plenty of fun little things to do that are all solidified#in ONE single complex that is also where your room is would actually encourage me to do things more because if#my health issues start flaring up or i get overwhelmed or etc. i can literally just... retreat back to my room that is a reasonably short#walk away. instead of like ''UGH now not only do i feel too bad to finish my excursion but ALSO i have a 40 min car ride ahead of me''#etc. Not saying that even in that situation I would become Super Extravert Thing Doer like i still LOOVE a quiet lifestyle mostly alone do#ing the same 5 repetitive tasks over & over again working on specific hobbies. but just that i WOULD go out SLIGHTLY more and do Activities#if the activities were already brought to ME. like a cruise ship layout where you have your little room private space but when you feel#like it on your own terms you could venture out and go to a little cafe or a swimming pool or etc. WITHOUT even having to leave#or get in a car and travel. just walk form your room to The thing. amazing.. ground breaking.. BUT especially the layers are important. I#dont mean just 'have the same features but in a way that theyre on land' I mean LITERALLY translate the EXACT layout of the cruise ship but#on ground instead. Like I want a full community cafeteria on the middle floor of my apartment complex. there should be a pool & waterslide#on the roof. A community games room on the 4th floor. a library right under my bedroom. etc. etc. Though maybe ideally I would say#add a little extra space like most people couldn't live their entire lives in a cruise ship room layout. But maybe just have the rooms expa#nded to the average size of like a 3 bedroom apartment. and then still stack them on top of each other.. More spacious decks so people can#have some plants (but also a community garden somewhere too). ANYWAY... Idk I just always love the aesthetics. I would love to tour a cruis#ship but like NOT go on a cruise EVER lol.. but just.. SEE the space. I love interiors so much. Also makes me think of worldbuilding like.#I think cruise ships could also be good inspiration for underground stacked cities in layers. things like that. OR just actually the fant#asy world version of a cruise ship lol. Though Nanyevimi's oceans are all so treacherous that non-inland water travel is avoided as much as#possible (even if it's more tedious to travel on the land) and would rarely be done for leisure. still.. river cruises could exist.. >:3c#In Nanyevimi the oceans are akin to how Outer Space is on earth (seen as a mysterious unexplored dangerous area etc).. a cruise ship of#rich elves setting out on a Groundbreaking First Ever Ocean Cruise & it just goes Wrong like a sci-fi 'trapped in space' type thriller LOL
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Do you ignore some asks you receive? I’ve sent a few and I don’t think you’ve answered any
Ignore's a pretty harsh way of putting it, but I get a fair amount of asks and they don't all get answered! It's not malice or that I'm mad about the question--some I haven't answered are actually really GOOD questions, but I just can't get to the time needed to answer them.
Tumblr does eat asks from time to time, but also, I'm only human.
This is today
that's 4 anon questions and 2 named ones. I know that's only 6, but you'd be surprised how quick it all adds up when you're trying to do other stuff and also have a family life and hobbies.
I have something like 1,000 asks in my backlog and frustratingly, I have recently learned that even if I go back through to find the really cool questions and throw them in drafts...they get drafted in when the question was asked. I have like 200 drafts.
So yes it's true I don't get to all of them! But 'ignore'...I don't love the wording because it implies a level of dislike and disinterest that isn't true. I do care! But I am a human being with limited resources.
#'neglect' is maybe fairer ahahaha#in order to get to every ask I'd have to hire someone to do other stuff that needs doing#my life is a series of balls and there's no not dropping them#it's just choosing which ones get dropped#which is unfortunate#but asks get dropped pretty often#also some of the asks I get are basically: Thought!#which is fine I do not ind at all#but i assume it's people without a tumblr using it like leaving a comment#I don't know how I'm meant to respond to something that has a closed answer#you know?#like 'is your personal hell just X?'#there's not a lot of room for me to move with that.
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So because I'm on antidepressants now I'm apparently not allowed to have any bad days. Like, not sure how to explain that that's not how it works and that ignoring me and refusing to speak to me isn't going to help.
#vent post#personal#I'm just fucking tired today and need a distraction because yesterday sucked#i just wanted to go to a bookstore or a garden center for my birthday and instead i had to sit in silence while my partner played games#for literally the entire day while not speaking to me because they were concentrating#and half the time they wanted the lights off because the gets dark at times and they refuse to adjust the settings#so i couldn't even crochet or read without leaving the room which just made them whine about it later#and i know i don't expect anything anymore for my birthday but being ignored by the one person who promised to never do so hurts#it's like being a kid again and getting told that you're not important and that everyone else gets to dictate what you do on your day#when everyone else got treated like royalty on theirs#i sit at home all day every day with no one to talk to so it's not much to want to have some kind of interaction#and yeah I'm literally complaining about nothing but it hurts so much sometimes to be reminded that I'm not really worth much#i did get some presents and one way really nice#but to immediately after just be left alone and forgotten kind of makes me wish they had just actually forgotten#to top it off the night ended with my estranged family trying to text a different family member about how they forgot again to send a card#immediately followed by oops you weren't supposed to see that because we love and care about you#like please stop and just leave me alone#i don't want anything from you guys ever again because you expect too much in return#and i remember the shit you used to say about and to me and the blame you laid on me#just stop pretending like you care and leave me alone#so today is just hard for stupid reasons and i don't really have a reason for being super depressed but i am#and getting mad that I'm crying isn't going to help#i need a distraction and can't have one and just can't cope#might go buy myself something nice off ebay to try and feel better but also the present i bought myself got stolen so maybe i won't
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Cannot watch 'cute cat videos' on here anymore because they either a. Endanger the cat or B. Endanger a prey animal that is being forced to interact with the cat
#No your bunny and your kitty snuggling is NOT cute that is a prey animal in a highly stressful situation#And one wrong move could trigger hunting instincts in the cat#'haha my cat is so silly she attacks my feet for funsies sometimes <3'#Okay why do you trust her not to attack your hamster then and let them roam free in the same room#(and regarding A. Any variation of your cat bring outside without a leash or in an eclosed space like a fenced (!) backyard?)#BAD FOR YOUR CAT#'I love my cat I just put him outside for several hours without supervision'#'And when he inevitably gets hit by a car/vanishes/is killed by other humans'#'I get a new one and do the exact same because why should I as the owner feel responsible for that?'#Tell me would you put your dog on the street like that??#And then tell me earnestly why there's any difference between cats and any other pet that somehow means#You can just leave your cat in incredibly dangerous situations and 'it's fine'#Cats aren't magically smarter they're tiny pets who can do fuck all if a car hits them#Or another human decides to poison them#(and don't get me started on people putting their cats outside and getting pissed when other people interact with them)#(you wanna control your cats diet/interactions/health? KEEP THEM INSIDE)#'I didn't notice my cat had a wound until a week later haha' - yeah cause you barely see your cat#That's like putting a 7 year old outside everyday and going 'they're smart enough to avoid cars this is fine :D'#Anyway as you can see I have feelings about this topic#Because as a cat owner the safety and health of my baby it the most important thing ever#And I don't do everything right but I don't get people who get mad when you point out the OBVIOUS dangers of having an outdoor cat#Tell me you want a pet without wanting to take any responsibility for it without telling me-
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