#also /j this is a joke i am joking this means nothing

[charliesinfern0]

the alpha kids are all hanging out at jake’s house and jake says something completely normal like “hey, im going to pop in the shower, be back in a jiff” and all they hear is “I’m going to go take a rinky-dinky power shower~! I will be back in a jiffy-loo, hoo hoo hoo!!” and theyre just like “haha oh yeah, classic jake”

[jitterbugbear]

i'm seeing too many self-help advice serious posts on my tl once again, i need tumblr to add like... a get silly button or something that would add clown music and funny noises in the bg just to lighten things up

[feyburner]

This is part of a longer thing I may post on ao3 at some point but here’s some silly little Jaytim texting AU. I use this format as a writing warmup.

[Unknown] »

Hey. This is Jason. 

I have a favor to ask. You can say no.

« tim

uh

1. i’m aware of how favors work  

2. what is it?

« tim

?

« tim

hey are you like. good

J »

Yeah fine 

Sry. Rethinking this maybe

« tim

what, do you need a kidney or something?

i can’t give you a kidney.

i don’t have any organs to spare.

J »

What ? 

« tim

what’s the favor?

J »

I wouldn’t ask if it wasnt important

I’d ask Roy but hes in star city 

or Kori but shes off world

I tried dickhead but hes in haven. Cant get away tonight

« tim

yeah jason i get it lol

J »

So Im currently in the cargo hold of a private yacht

« tim

what >?

J »

We’re caught in the storm thats hitting the city its a whole thing. 

« tim

are you in the cargo hold of your own volition or did someone put you there

J »

So I dont think I can get back t

No its on purpose

« tim

hang on. you’re in gotham bay right now? in a boat?  

jason this storm is really bad.

it’s already sunk a houseboat and a fishing boat at the marina

J »

I dont think I can get back totown toni

Christ you type fast 

Shut up for a sec. Clam down

Clam*

*Calm fuck me

Thought I was gnna be back tonight but bc of storm its not looking great.

Can you feed my sourdough starter 

« tim

what

J »

4511 overhill apt 6D 

Key under the neighbors mat. 6H

« tim

hey to clarify. “its not looking great” ← what does that mean

J »

Starter is on counter. in glass jar 

Should just need one feeindg. Maybe 2. depending 

« tim

on???

J »

On wwhen I get back?

« tim

so you do plan on coming back

J »

Yeah timothy I’m in a boat not the heart of Mount Doom

« tim

yeah? vaders not there? so that means everything’s fine? 

J »

Did you

jst say Vader

As in Darth

« tim

??? 

J »

Oh my god

« tim

jason are you in peril or what.

J »

No im not in “peril” lol.

Did you see the thing I said about my sourddough starter

It needs to be fed

« tim

wtf is a sourdough starter

nvm i googled it

J »

Its a live bacteria colony you use to m 

Oh ok

Yeah so it just needs 50g lukewarm water + 50g flour

Theres a scale next to the jar

Stir until it looks like hummus

Put lid back on

The end

« tim

the internet says if you put it in the fridge it doesn’t need daily feedings

J »

Sure. But that would mess up my bread schedule

« tim

your bread schedule 

J »

Man are gyou gonna fuckin feed Breadie Mercury or should I find someone else

« tim

im already en route. 

J »

Oh

Ok

Thank you.

Wtf dont text and motorbike  

« tim

how about you dont text and Sinking Boat

J »

Hey its not like I’m gonna cause a boat crash

« tim

i was stopped at a red light 😐

anwyay i’m at your place.

1. why do you not have a security system. when you said key under the neighbor’s mat i thought you were joking. 

2. how warm is lukewarm

J »

1. I’m the security system

« tim

just rolled my eyes so hard it actually physically hurt

J »

God youre annoying

2. ? Its lukewarm

« tim

ohhhhh thanks! that’s so helpful :) here i am trying not to murder your incredibly important bacteria colony that i just drove across town for but no thats great jason very descriptive thanks :) 

J »

Like warm but not too wram, nothing you’d want to take a bath in

Can you fucking

I TYPE SLOW.

« tim

ok.

[Image Attached]

he is fed

J »

Thanks man.

Sincerely.

« tim

so hows the cargo hold going

still intact i assume? 

J »

Mostly ya

« tim

pardon? 

J »

Slight leakage. Nothing major

« tim

oh? are you a boatologist now? 

i dont think you’re qualified to judge that?

J »

Moving right past “boatologist” out of the goodness of my heart.

Chill lol. If it was rly bad thered probably be some sort of alar

Hm.

« tim

did an alarm just start going off

J »

Dont worry about it

« tim

im not. 

did it though

also which yacht? im in the marinas scheduling dtabase

blue miracle, serendipity, carp-e diem? which one

« tim

jason?

« tim

if this is a joke it’s not funny

oh cool you’re not on comms either. great.

hey if youre dead again and i just fed your stupid starter for nothing im gonna be soooo mad just fyi

« tim

ugh.

*

J »

Hey

Thanks again for the

I’m not gonna say “save” bc I was doinf just fine on my own.

But thanks for the backup.

Lmk when youre home

Nope sorry lol you dont have to do that.

Night.

« tim

home

J »

Also I just saw your messaages from

Ah. 👍

From earlier. 

« tim

you mean from when you said “huh, this boat seems to be filling with water” and then disappeared? those messages? 

J »

Those were not my exact words.

« tim

right. your exact words contained somehow even less information 

J »

Shut up

I just wanted to 

You know. Youre the only one who jokes about it

The only one in the family I mean

your family, I mean

The bats.

« tim

? 

the only one who jokes about what

J »

Me being dead

« tim

oh. 

ok. well

its not like. actually funny to me. i was just annoyed. sorry i guess

J »

No thats not 

Tim. Shut up.

I dont mind. I like that one of you does. 

Its better than people talking around it. Like its this big shameful thing I did.

One of many

If I mention it in front of dickhead he does the face

the :~{ face

« tim

wow its uncanny

uh. for the record. 

i don’t think that’s the reason people talk around it

if im correct in thinking that by “people” you mean “one specific person whose name rhymes with Rat Can” 

 

J »

Yeah well

I just

Christ never mind. Im sorry. You are not the person to be sayign this to.

Im gonna shut the fuck up I think. 

Goodnight.

« tim

oh what, you can’t talk to me about being dead bc of that one time you tried to kill me? 

and failed btw :/ 

J »

Tim

Not to be so unchill

But you know how me being dead isnt actaully funny to you

« tim

…got it. sorry

J »

No. don’t apologize to me

Ever

I’m serious 

« tim

like for anything? 

what if i killed breadie mercury 

J »

You didnt. He is thriving

« tim

he is?

wait. really?

you can tell?

J »

[Image Attached]

Hes doubled in size since you fed him.

« tim

whoa

J »

Yup. Thanks again for thattoo.

*that too

Its stupid but hes kinda my son.

« tim

wouldn’t he technically be like, 10 billion sons

J »

He is my 10 billion sons.

« tim

lolol

wow. why am i so pleased hes thriving lol 

J »

Right

« tim

jeez

i was so worried about the water temp

google said lukewarm is 98-105 so i did 98 to be safe

J »

You used a thermometer? 

« tim

your instructions were vague!

i didnt want to kill your bacteria colony!

J »

Thanks Tim.

« tim

? you already said that lol

i gotta pass out btw

glad you didnt die: the sequel in a yacht

that would have been so cringe

night jason

J »

Night

*

J »

You up?

« tim

obviously

why

J »

Could use your eyes on something.

[Image Attached]

« tim

morse code but the dots and dashes are reversed and its spelling backwards in russian, ASTITP AYALEB AVD RTSIRP → PRISTR DVA BELAYA PTITSA → PIER TWO WHITE BIRD

J »

Bc it looks like morse but its not, its kind of scrambl 

Ok jesus christ . 

30 seconds? Seriously? Fuck me

Can I hire you? Jesus lol

« tim

that depends. do you pay more than batman?

J »

The fuck? Does he pay you guys now?

« tim

no.

J »

Then yes. I do pay more than batman.

« tim

how much more

J »

One coffee per codebreak? 

« tim

:\

J »

Two coffees per codebreak

Two and a loaf of sourdough

« tim

sourdough from breadie mercury?

J »

Ya

« tim

done

J »

Damn. I feel like you should have higher standards

« tim

i mean i was already gonna do it for free

now i have successfully negotiated coffee & sustenance 

im on a roll. nothing but Ws 

J »

Ws?

« tim

its young people slang you wouldn’t get it ❤️

J »

I am barely 3 years older htan you.

It could be argued, considering certain events, that we’re basically the same age.

« tim

and yet you text like an old, old man

J »

I do not

Would you rather I texted like “idk brb lmao roflcopter”

« tim

ROFLCOPTER?

oh my god. ohhhhhh jason. oh my god

that is absolutely not what the kids are saying these days. oh my god

J »

Ok you know what. At least I know Mount Doom isnt a Star Wars thing

« tim

? 

oh, is it star trek? 

J »

I’m 99% sure youre antagonizing me on purpose

But have you seriously not read or watched Lord of the Rings

« tim

no i have not.

J »

Hm.

« tim

what

J »

Nothing.

« tim

……….what

*

« tim

did you NARC on me

to BRUCE

about LORD OF THE RINGS?????

J »

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

« tim

WHY DO I NOW HAVE 3 SEPARATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON “HOUSE MEETINGS” BLOCKED OFF IN MY CALENDAR, JASON? 

WHY ARE THEY EACH 4 HOURS LONG?

WHY ARE THEY LABELED “CULTURAL EDUCATION (MANDATORY)”? 

J »

I can’t pretend to know what goes on in B’s mind.

That said, I have reason to believe he and Alfred take lotr pretty seriously.

« tim

its a TWELVE HOUR MOVIE

about GOBLINS

J »

I’m not gonna respond to that bc I know youre just lashing out.

« tim

if youve sentenced me to 12 hours of a movie i hate i’m gonna hack everything you own. 

im gonna mass text the entire cape wearers community the footage of that time condiment king kicked your ass so bad he felt guilty and offered to personally help you out of the mustard pool 

J »

What the fuck

How do you fuckig know about ?????? that???????? 

Not that ithahpened 

What hefuckk ??

« tim

ooooooooo you better hope i love these goblins!

J »

Why are you?? evil??

« tim

you should have killed me when you had the chance!!

sorry.

J »

Its ok. That one was pretty funny tbh.

Oh hm shouldnt have laughed just then. Bad timing on my part

Brb

« tim

uh

« tim

ok…….. getting reports of a “disturbance” at pier two…….. 

« tim

sorry were you texting me *mid-standoff* with the russian mafia

« tim

ugh.

*

« tim

you know tracking your location would be so much easier if i didn’t have to hack into your comm sys every time

luckily your encryption is garbage but still. its 2 minutes of my life i wont get back.

J »

Not sure I recall giving you permission to track my location?

« tim

oh i’m sorry. next time i will simply leave you to go down with a texas oil magnate’s incredibly tacky yacht, or get swiss cheesified by mobsters 

J »

Hey I wrapped up the russians myself 

« tim

yeah? 

J »

…

Yeah….

« tim

so you thought the 12-minute universal signal jam was the act of a benevolent god? 

J »

:-|

« tim

im just saying it would be significantly more efficient if you agreed to a tracker

just one little tracker. you wouldn’t even notice it’s there.

think of all the time and energy you’d save me

J »

I feel the need to point out that you don’t have to repeatedly hack my comms system.

« tim

i mean it’s that or monitor sightings on the gocitizen app

i have an algo that texts relevant pings to me, which is super helpful for when i want an inbox full of random people talking about how hot you are. less helpful for literally every other circumstance 

J »

Uh

What

« tim

how hot *red hood is. to clarify

in their opinion

the people’s opinion

J »

?

« tim

the people of gotham city

J »

The people of Gotham city do not think Red Hood is hot lol

« tim

wait 

i cant tell if you’re being serious

J »

Uh? Yeah Im being serious? Lol tf

Why would they think hes hot 

They dont think Batman is hot 

« tim

o…kay…

huh.

how to… hmm

J »

Like nightwing sure

And the girls. Bc of objectification of women

« tim

oh wow

J »

Red Robin. If i had to guess

But when people see Hood its definitely not… that kind of response lol

« tim

what kind of response, exactly

J »

You know like saying “Hey Hood youre hot” 

« tim

oh, wow. 

okay. ummm

hmm. one sec.

J »

?

« tim

check your email 

J »

Ok…? 

J »

Oh my fucking god.

« tim

yeah

J »

Oh my god?

« tim

yeah

J »

This document is fucking 45 pages long?

« tim

its everything from the past 30 days yeah

J »

The past

Whaht the fuck

Ok some of these people definitely got hit by Poison Ivy.

This is . Tim wtf. I havent even heard of some of this stuff. 

« tim

oof are you on page 14

J »

Im on page 3???

« tim

oh my god

J »

What the fuck

Please please tell me its not like this for Batman too

Tim

« tim

its not like this for batman :)

J »

Ok. Jesus. I would genuinely have to move cities.

« tim

its worse :)

J »

Oh what the fuck

Oh my fucking god page 14.

You get this shit TEXTED to you?????

Ohm ygod. You read this?????

« tim

i mean

no

i glance at it

for security purposes.

i dont like, read it read it

anyway did you seriously not know? haha

J »

No??? Again its not like people tell me

« tim

yeah but

like

theres a certain level of objectivity involved, here

yknow

sorry im trying to find a non awkward way to be like “have you looked in a mirror lately” 

« tim

sorry

that was in fact awkward!

nvm

just let me know if you’d be ok with the tracker. its fine if not

i was mostly joking about the hacking

J (From Work) »

No you weren’t.

« tim

no i wasnt

i dont mind though. its like a brain teaser

anyway im going dark for patrol, later

*

J (From Work) »

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

Question. why is the average Gotham citizen a raging horndog 

« tim

oh my god

you know i can tell you searched “red robin hot” right

J (From Work) »

Figured it was only fair

[Screenshot Attached]

This persons got some mad zoom lens skills

I’d think it was you, if it wasnt, yknow, you

« tim

wow. that is certainly a photo of my ass

…a stellar photo of my ass. wow. 

do you have a direct link? i gotta send this to steph

J (From Work) »

goctz.app/user/3824973/post/29348230df3

Haha

I kinda thought you and blondie broke up

back on again?

« tim

no lol we are very much just friends

she has a thing going with someone who shall remain nameless but suffice to say it’s Going

anyway we just send each other gocitizen vigilante ass shots 

its a whole genre

they’re like trading cards

J (From Work) »

Guess everyone’s got a hobby?

« tim

the only rule is no nightwing

J (From Work) »

Do I want to know why

« tim

he accounts for a frankly overwhelming percentage of vigilante ass shots

so its too easy

you’d THINK we’d have a no-batman rule, because ew, but due to the cape and his sixth sense for cameras pointed at him, a qualifying shot is actually extremely rare. 

← only guy who ever managed to take quality photos of batman 

anyway, we put it to a vote. i lost.

J (From Work) »

A vote between you and Steph? 

You lost a 50/50 vote?

« tim

i dont wanna talk about it.

J (From Work) »

Right. 

So what I’m getting from this is you have Red Hood ass shots in your phone.

« tim

no

J (From Work) »

No?

« tim

well

J (From Work) »

Yeah?

« tim

we don’t like, save them

that would be weird

we just notify each other. professionally, as colleagues 

and keep an ongoing points tally

thats all

so i do not currently have photos of your ass in my phone. thank you

J (From Work) »

How many points is my ass worth

« tim

i hate everything about this conversation

J (From Work) »

Its 100% your own fault, answer the question

« tim

if you must know. 

points are awarded based on a series of objective scoring criteria.

J (From Work) »

Uh huh. Like what

« tim

technical excellence

composition. lighting and color balance. 

dynamism 

J (From Work) »

Dynamism…

« tim

creativity

umm

emotional impact

and 

subject matter

J (From Work) »

I see.

« tim

ok i know it sounds bad

J (From Work) »

It sounds fucking hysterical Im near tears 

« tim

but if you think abou

oh

okay, well, great

J (From Work) »

I’ll let you know if I stumble on any more. 

Or is that cheating

« tim

its totally cheating

please do

J (From Work) »

You got it red. 👍

« tim

:)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

j word coded

TO BE CLEAR: I am NOT claiming that this other game (Ikemen Villains) is a "rip-off" of TWST; I'm pointing out parallels between them because I think it's entertaining to see how different games interpret the same or similar fairy tales.

Please also note that although nothing I say in this post is explicit, IkeVil itself is designated as 17+ and contains dark content. If you decide you want to try the game out for yourself, BE AWARE OF THE AGE RATING AND TRIGGER WARNINGS.

ARE THESE NOT JUST J WORD IN A BLACK WIG AND CONTACTS (the last one looks like a blend of Jade's sus face + Idia's sus face) 😭 His face looks so similar… and they're both "attendant" characters that act polite but are more manipulative than they appear at first glance... (although Alfons has Floyd's hedonism rather that Jade's restraint!)

More of my first impressions of the characters of IkeVil below the cut!! Again, there's nothing explicit, I just wanted to keep this post not too bulky.

And not just him (Alfons) either, ashldbiasydefpaei there's a Trey-lookalike and a Silver pre-hair color change in the same game! Roger has a rifle and is cursed by Snow White's huntsman, so I joke that he's Rook and Trey's test tube baby... and Elbert has Vil's keen eye and desire for what is beautiful!

There are also characters that don't look like an TWST ones, but definitely have personalities that remind me of a few! For example, Liam's laid-back affability is Che'nya and Chenya Cater-esque, Jude speaks in a gruff but aristocratic manner like Leona but is a tough businessman like Azul, and Ellis seems like a mix of Malleus's obsession with happy endings + Idia's gloomy demeanor…? No clue if he actually is gloomy or not, he just gives me gloomy vibes.

Victor is Crowley-adjacent! Like they're both overseeing this group of powerful men with magic so you'd think they're serious types--but they aren't. They're silly and use their own skills to do frivolous things like doing magic tricks or making cake fancier. They also both seem to be hiding a secret...

Harrison doesn't remind me of anyone in particular, though I do see little bits of our typical "lying" characters in him. He has the chill of a Che'nya but also Floyd's flippancy and lies as easily as like... I don't know, Cater?? Not sure on this one.

abfhbyoafvadpiadgo OKAY OKAY BUT THE FUNNIEST ONE TO ME IS WILLIAM BECAUSE HE'S "THE QUEEN OF HEARTS" CHARACTER... Most of the time when you have a character with this inspiration, they're controlling and easily angered (*stares at Riddle*), but William is NOTHING like that???? In fact, he's got a strong sense of justice and often encourages others to be honest and to act freely, even if it means disregarding the rules. Every time William opens his mouth... I picture Riddle shrieking and sobbing/j

[justcallmesakira]

"𝑰𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒌?"

summary: just my favourite characters taking care of reader when shes sick

genre: hurt to comfort, full fluff

warnings: reader has a personality similar to me!, fem reader, nothing else, double suicide joke on dazai, silly pedo joke on fyodor

a/n: guys please I am so sick right now I feel sohdghdgdhd if only there was someone who could send me some sakilai selfship stuff/j

"nikolaiiiii" you whine from your bed eyes too teary to reach out wherever he is.

"Ah, my dove, I am coming right now" he shouts from outside of your room running in with a packed box of soup.

Unfortunately because of nikolais amazing cooking skills he failed to make a simple cup of soup. So he decided to order from takeout.And that soup is the food you need to eat right now.

"feed me please..." you state when he placed the bowl of soup and sat down next to you."Dove i think you can feed yous-" you only sniffed and looked at him with teary eyes which instantly made a certain feeling of guilt rise up in his stomach.

"fine then. Guess I will have to take care of my lovely crybaby girlfriend!" nikolai jokes before using taking off his gloves using his teeth and putting them aside, which you always considered a very handsome and hot thing for him to do.

His bare hands pick up the spoon full of soup and vegetables and gently slides it into you mouth, as fragile like a glass doll.

"Also I am not a crybaby! It was an act for you to feed me" you puff to which gogol gasps a bit too dramatically "you pesky silly! Come here daddy's going to punish you kittem" he jokingly says putting the bowl of soup on the bed side.

"HELP nikolai that is not funny! Stop THAT IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL. I am sick!!" you cry out getting out of his way which fails as he lunges towards you and holds you in his grasp

"I was joking! Calm down (name) I just want to hug your germs away." "Those germs will hug you back but okay!"

You sneakily crept up to the fridge before opening it, looking for a tub of icecream before finding it instantly. You reach out to grab it but before your hand can get any closer a hand slams the door shut.

You don't turn around to the figure behind you and swallow a spit, scared of the man's creepy and menacing smile from behind you.

"Now now, isn't my dear supposed to be in bed resting? So I wonder who this woman here is" his sarcastic voice rings in your ears as you slowly turn around.

"Fedya hahaha what are you doing here ahaha aren't you supposed to work?" you nervosuly laugh before you start coughing again, more ferocious this time.

His cruel and irritated shade hovering his eyes become more soft and tendor as he picked you up over his shoulders like a pack of potatoes and carried you to the bedroom.

"Fyodor? Since when did you become s-augh augh strong-?" you asked clearly shocked at his sudden romantic move.

"Say that again I am giving medieval style treatment." "WH- wait how do you know medieval tre--"

Before you could finish your sentence, he throws you on the bed in the gentlest way before sitting down next to you and grabbing a medicine.

"please tell me it's not those swallow pills. I hate them like you everyone in Yokohama hates you" you pout but he only glares at you for a second.

"I mean- I love you hahaha, you know" you laugh it off and look at his nail bitten fingers elegantly take the spoon of the liquid and holds it up to you lips.

"ew that looks like pink vomit" you get away from the spoon infront of you. "(name) I didn't ditch my work for this, it feels like I am taking care of a child rather then my significant other."

"you do know you will counted as a pedophile if i am a child right" you teas him, grinning trying to make him forget about the medicine.

"(name)" his voice is colder than your cold and you only look at him with puppy glistening eyes. "can.. can you feed me with you mouth? a sickly kiss?" you ask innocently.

"you are already sick fedya, please?" he only sighs at your statement, knowing it's stupid and silly to argue with you.

He takes the medicine in his mouth and pulls you closer to push it in. It tastes bitter, but his lips make it sweet. It only lasts a moment but cures the starving feeling in your heart.

He pulls away as you swallow the liquid before tucking your self under the covers and giggling like a school girl.

"sigh,,,please don't eat anything cold, your sickness will only worsen. Take your pills daily and I will send some chocolates later, okay? Don't be too much of a hassle"

"Bellllaaaaaa, i got you your favourite food!" his voice soothes out like a lullaby to your ears as you rise up from your bed and rush towards him.

"zai-zai!" But before you could say anything your head starts spinning and everything seems dizzy.

He keeps the bag of food on the table before rushing to catch you. "WOAH bella, can't have you spinning to death now can we! You told me if you had to die you wanted to die with me! Together"

He says picking you up bridal style and laughing at the swirls in your eyes. "i am here feeling like I just hot down from some Rollercoaster and your here joking? I swear to god dazai this is why you can't pull hoes"

"why would you say that bella? You pull germs" he pouts like a child but was probably smirking inside at his cheeky remark.

"You little manwh-" "shhh lets eat soem chocolate cheesecake shall we?" he places you on the side of your bed and brings the packets of cakes and slowly lays it down infront of you.

You sick and tired looking eyes glow up. "I want the cheesecake!" you announce to him as dazai laughs before opening the packet and taking a spoonful of the desert before motioning you to open your mouth.

He feeds you it whole slowly, which you only giggle "i didnt new yuo weer so living, dezai" you mumble chewing on the contents.

"finish your food first bella, then you can compliment your amazing BOYFRIEND HAHAHA" he laughs before getting up to clear up the packets.

While he does that you snuggle up to your bed before coughing for a while. "come join me, love" you motion him which your boyfriend does as he lays himself next to you

"Oh my bella, I hope you get well soon I can't wait to kiss you and hug you and maybe even fall off the bridge with you!"

You moved away from the camera turning on the record button and started dancing to the choreography of 'detention' by melanie martinez which by the way you should actually check out.

However as you were swifting your movements according to the dance you heard a Click and ran to you bed, but you only had a second to choose a sleep position before yosano can come.

"(name) I am not that stupid." she opens the door to enter the room as she looks at your pretend sleeping position.

"You can just dance hystericaly while you have a bad cold and have iron cells lesser than than the literacy rate in japan" your girlfriends scolding hits you hard so you decided to get up, what's the point.

"As much as i wish i could see more of you dancing" she continues, "You need to get better for it, I dont want you fainting once again like yesterday.

"who knew you could joke" you whine out. Yosano takes a chair and takes a place beside you. "I am not that serious, love. Now let me check your fever."

She takes off her gloves and presses her hand on your forehead. "Hmm, you have long way to fully recover" her voice is much softer than when she was scolding you.

"huhhh, that's not fair...i dont want to be bedridden for soooo long :(" your eyes start looking teary again, nose red from the heavy coughing from when she was taking care of you last night.

she sighs, "awhh my baby, there there. This is why I told you to take the medicines. But you didn't listen did you" you look up to her eyes glossy like a child who needs to be cared.

She kisses your forehead before getting up.

"I wish I could kiss your cold away however it won't work like that instead I will cook you your favourite chicken soup for you okay?"

a/n: man i hate my hoarse throat aughhhh I want fedya to take care of me rn *cough cough*

Divider crds: @anitalenia go check her blog NOW

Tags: @little-miss-chaoss @terururuko @inojuuy @biscuits-tragic-diner

[lilislegacy]

an analysis: piper calling percy unimpressive

(warning: i wrote this at 1 am)

so basically

remember how we all despised piper mclean when she had the audacity to call our beloved percy “unimpressive” and we all lost our shit on the inside a little bit?

i truly don’t think she meant it in the way we think she did. i think we’re all just defensive of our boy.

piper clearly states that she is comparing percy to jason. first of all, jason is her boyfriend, so of course she’s biased. second of all, hera was manipulating piper to be obsessed with jason. so other guys and girls are automatically unimpressive to her.

and here’s the big thing: piper does not call him unattractive. she does not call him ugly. she simply says he’s not her type. piper is clearly attracted to the “good boy” look. jason is literally your all-american boy. he’s tall with light skin, a sturdy build, neat blonde hair, and blue eyes. part of why annabeth doesn’t trust him is because she is unsettled by his “perfect” appearance. jason is also obedient and well-mannered. he’s your standard good boy.

and the fact of the matter is: percy looks like a “bad boy”. and often, he acts like one too. him and jason are contrasts of each other. a symbolic representation of this: their features. percy has a darker complexion, messy black hair, unique green eyes, and a “sarcastic troublemaker smile.” he’s muscular, but in a leaner and more trim way. he’s tall, but he’s not a towering muscleman by any means. not that jason is either, but don’t forget, percy is a whole one. inch. (GASP) shorter than jason (which to me isn’t even noticeable, so her pointing it out as a flaw just proves that she’s so incredibly biased towards jason.) their other big contrasting feature: their personalities. jason is respectful and well-mannered. very obedient and under control. percy, however, makes jokes during inappropriate moments, talks back to people of power and authority, gets angry quickly, and loses control easily. i mean, literally right after she says this, percy starts insulting the roman god Bacchus and rapidly escalates a situation because of his natural instinct to be disobedient. piper is horrified by him doing this, especially because jason would never. does it make US all love percy very much? yes. but piper isn’t us.

THAT SAID, even she can’t actually call him unattractive. she even went as far to state that she can see why annabeth likes him, which means even her magically-obsessed-with-jason brain can still recognize his attractiveness and see why girls find him appealing. she calls him “cute in a scruffy way,” meaning she thinks that he’s got a disheveled attractiveness to him. she also once said that his pleading eyes are like a cute baby seal’s - even she can’t deny that his eyes are wonderful. so even though piper calls him unimpressive, i think rick put in a lot of clues here showing us that she acknowledges him as a conventionally attractive person, even if she’s not personally attracted to him.

let’s sum it up, shall we?

what does it say about percy? absolutely nothing. piper calling percy unimpressive is an inaccurate and unreliable source when it comes to analyzing percy’s physical appearance, especially if you don’t consider the context. this was rick’s way of showing piper’s clear preference towards jason, just like annabeth has a clear preference towards percy. and even though she said this, rick also made her give us several hints that percy is handsome, just not in a way she’s inclined towards. rick wanted love triangles to be completely out of the question with these 4. he wanted to make it very clear that annabeth had no interest in jason, and that piper had no interest in percy. so since piper is so drawn towards jason, percy had to be very different from him in her eyes.

jason is your a superman, percy is your batman

jason is your captain america, percy is your iron man. some even say spider man.

so put yourself in piper’s shoes: after hearing percy jackson’s name non-stop for 6 months, hearing him compared to jason, hearing of all his accomplishments and how heroic he is - i mean, the guy was literally honored on olympus and offered godhood - she was expecting a stereotypical good-boy hero. a hercules. a superman. your standard muscular blinding-white-teeth-smile hunk. the conventional, well-mannered good boy. and instead she got a wild and untamed, trouble-making bad boy. percy has an edge to him. he’s intimidating and unpredictable. he’s sarcastic and witty. he just looks like he’s up to no good. she wasn’t expecting any of that. that’s not what we’re taught a hero is supposed to be like or look like.

jason is appealing in a “he’d be a respectable and sturdy husband” way.

percy is appealing in a “he’s gonna fuck up my life but i so badly want him to” kind of way. (even though once you get to know him, you see he’s literally the world’s best boyfriend. piper even gets jealous of how loving he is towards annabeth.)

she had this exact idea of what he would be, and he wasn’t that. hence her calling him “unimpressive.” but it says nothing about his attractiveness.

i rest my case, your honor.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

disclaimer: i am not saying percy is actually a bad boy or a bad guy. he is a sweetheart. he has the biggest heart ever. he’s a cute little cinnamon roll. i am simply talking of first impressions from outsiders, and how he appears if you don’t know him.

[jazeswhbhaven]

Fa La La La La Michael's on Sale (Christmas Miracle L-Card PROLOGUE Spoilers II)

Before you proceed!!! Check out Part 1 here ->

if you've already saw that, let's dive back in for the remainder of the prologueeee

So we left off at the auction, and Daddy Mammon was being Daddy Mammon. But he also explains how he views buying stuff in general, including being forward that the "gifts" MC assumed were gifts are things that they needed for the function lmao

Damn if that's a necessity to you then a gift is like....probably very very expensive or heartfelt or something like that. At least to Mammon. He even explains his buying process to them

So how he sees it, everything in this world is already his and he's just sharing it with everyone and allowing them to enjoy it as well. When he pays the store or anyone for anything it's basically him rewarding them for keeping his stuff safe until he needs it again later regardless of the reason, he wants it for. He's adorable.

So while all of that is happening and he's trying to see what it is that MC would want to buy, Michael literally fucking plunges from the sky into the building like nothing.... Like when I tell you that's the funniest shit I've read for both prologues where the angels literally just fell from the sky forcefully and they were probably just minding their business for the day, it's Christmas so they're like meh we're chilling, gonna wait til the day after and Y E E T bam down the hell for whatever reason lol

So here's a couple rumor lore for our seraph boi. Apparently out of the three, he's really cutthroat and doesn't give a fuck about it. His judgment usually ends with him killing you basically because no one is pure in his eyes. SO at this point everyone is hauling ass trying to escape before he gets murder happy.

He notices that MC is there and acknowledges their presence, and his forever crying eye because he's always like that is dripping tears (I like to make a joke he has allergies....to sin....)

So Mammon tries a sneak attack and it seems to not work against him and he's like confused, MC is confused, EYE am confused because wtf is Michael suddenly invincible???

So he's referring that Mammon is the most sinful devil king...I guess in his eyes being greedy is too much and should be punished right away. I guess he just doesn't see the potential in the other kings huh? /j

So Mike here starts shooting bolts of energy, blades of light, everything he's got toward Mammon and MC, none of it lands or hits. Everyone is watching confused YET again and Mammon is the only one that seems to get it.

A what now?????

So remember in the beginning where Minhyeok basically sat up there and wished for peace wherever MC was so they could have a peaceful Christmas? I mean canon-wise he's been to hell before and knows exactly how rough it is for MC and the others, so he made this wish thinking about that and turns out...

The rules of "Santa" work in Hell when it comes to wishes. Mammon can't attack Mike and Mike can't kill any devils for the day.

That's right buddy, no murder party for youuuuu <3

I love his angry face here, he's so pissed off lmao. But basically what happens shortly after...since he's powerless and pretty much fucking useless, the devils gang up on him and chain him up and such. Mammon threw out the idea of "wonder how much he would cost?" and now...angel boi is part of the fucking auction lol

So they're having MC 'test' out the product which in this case is Michael. Apparently in the past Solomon tested out various products before they were auctioned off and so they are having MC do the same. Honestly, the expectations put on MC are so odd sometimes. Like come on their granddaddy from centuries ago was from a different time and had some crazy magical powers and shit and so far MC has only been able to tap in like a 4th of that power. Maybe not even a 4th T^T But regardless they're eating up Michael with their eyes and he's of course being a brat about it.

It appears that during the scuffle, the devils were able to pitch together and come up with an info card, only had to use minimal chains, a golden gag (I assume he was fucking biting people lmao) and well...I'd like to think now that the angels automatically have their cock/chastity cages just by default. The design of their cages remind me of 'Dick Fight Island' hahaha. And MC is just like damn, I guess it wouldn't hurt having a little taste??? Just a small one? And it's just like yeah I'd probably figure out how to unlock that cage and tease his cock a bit... But also this is giving some pretty triggering content based on the fact clearly....Michael is against this, because he's glaring at MC like he could murder them on the spot. He was outnumbered, chained up, and now being sold as a possible sex slave. But oh take a look at his sprite!

Even his sprite is not having a great time lmao he is p i s s e d. Pretty much rabid and can go off any moment. But the reason I want his card is that in Secret Club.....I know he's going to react to our touches and he makes that delicous pleasure face like he can't help it and mmmm this is fueling angel headcanons all over the fucking place for me. I swear I gotta make a self indulgent fic about how angels react to being touched after their cage is removed.

And this is so fucking cute of Mammon....MC is just standing on stage ready to doing their thing and Mammon is waving at them like "Hi sweetie, you're doing great <3 Luv youuuu"

This is why I love him. But anyways the prolouge ends with MC unbuttoning Mike's shirt and I'm just sitting here like UGHHHHHHHHH at this point I'd pay for each story that comes out as a whole just so I can skip this whole you have to unlock it in the unholy board stuff....because honestly if PB told us "hey if you'd like to buy Michael's L-card story, pass us like $30 or $5 per chapter" I'd find a way to pay for that. I just want the stories at this point, this grinding stuff is wearing me out lol

I DIGRESS though. From the prologue alone it looks like this story is going to get s p i c y and if I'm right??? MC is probs gonna make him cum in front of the audience, so it's exhibitionism, humiliation, and degradation (really for all of the angels cards it seems because they're in a public place)

So it looks like I'm done reacting to this <3 Later today I'll try to get Raphael's done. Thankuuu for sitting with me

(´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[purrrrplecats]

oh no i found it

the in correct quote generato-

(there a lot so if you don't want to read lots don't click keep reading)(theres loads i think 50-)

Scar: Grian and I are so close we even share a toothbrush. Grian: We what?

(he appoligised abt the joke later on.)

Mumbo: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

Grian: Hey, are you alright with swearing? Asking for a friend. Scar: Yeah? Grian: Bitch.

Mumbo: Is… Is that meant to be on fire? Grian: No… not really. Mumbo: Are you going to do something about it? Grian: Hm… nah.

Grian: Your future self is talking shit about you right now. Scar: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.

Pearl: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.

Pearl: I’m proud to say I’ve come over my fear of ghosts! Grian: Eyy, that’s the spirit! Pearl: gasps whErE???!!!??

Impulse: So I have made the decision to trust you. Grian: A horrible decision, really.

Grian: Gem, is that my mug you’re drinking out of? Gem: No, it’s mine. Grian: It… looks just like the one I have… Gem: You don’t have one like this anymore.

(its and mug with pink and blue snails on it.)

Gem: This should be illegal! Pearl: It is.

Pearl: Okay, let's split 'em up and make 'em sing. Impulse: Two of you take Gem, the other two take Grian. Scar: Right. Bad cop, good cop. Mumbo: You know, it's interesting that they say "bad cop, good cop," because policing in this country is so broken it's really just "bad cop, bad cop". Impulse: Scar, you're with them. Scar: Got it.

Grian: Norwegia. Is. Not. A. COUNTRY! Scar: Then where are Norwegian people from!? Impulse: NORWAY!!

Impulse: Would you slap Pearl- Grian: Yes. Impulse: I didn't even finish! Grian: Sorry, continue. Impulse: Would you slap Pearl for 10 dollars? Grian: I would do it for free. Pearl: Rude…

(you could also swap Grian and Pearl around because I mean, SKYLINGS)

Grian: If you want my advice- Pearl: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times. Grian: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me. Scar: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

Scar, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go. Impulse: But how- Scar, ignoring them: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

Gem: I am strong! I beat Grian at arm wrestling! Impulse: Anyone can beat Grian at arm wrestling! Grian: Hey-

(sure Impulse sure-)

Gem: Grian, I am nothing if not a Woman of principle. Gem: Now let’s break into this apartment.

Pearl: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles? Gem: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

(again you could swap them around)

Pearl: Hey, you want a tarot reading? Mumbo: Those are Pokemon cards. Pearl: You got a magikarp. Mumbo: … Pearl: It means 'fuck you'.

Grian: Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere Gem: Where did you get that? Grian: My pocket. Gem: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket? Grian: Skills.

Scar: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’.

Scar: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Impulse: COMPANY IS COMING! I WANT THIS PLACE LOOKING LIKE DISNEY ON ICE IN ONE MINUTE! Impulse: SCAR IF YOU HAVEN'T MADE YOUR BED THROW IT AWAY IT'S TOO LATE TO MAKE IT NOW! Impulse: GET RID OF THE COUCHES, WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE S I T !

Gem: Hey Pearl, check out this funny .GIF I found! Pearl: It’s pronounced “jif”. Gem: Huh? Pearl: “Dot jif”, like the peanut butter. The creator said so. Gem: That’s dumb, it’s Graphics Interchange Format. Pearl: The P in .JPEG stands for “photographic”, but I bet you don’t say “J-pheg”. Gem: “P” on its own isn’t pronounced like “F”, that’s totally different! Pearl: It’s exactly the same! Gem: Name one word that starts with “G” pronounced like “J”. Pearl: Gentrification. Gem: Shoot, should have thought of that. I was just in San Francisco. Pearl: For your logic to be consistent, you’d have to say “skuh-bah” (scuba) or “lah-seer” (laser)! Gem: Yeah? Well, you’d have to say “J-pej”! Gem: …Wait, “laser” is an acronym? Pearl: Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. Gem: Huh. Didn’t know that. Gem: You’re still wrong, though. Pearl: You just hate me because I’m right. Gem: I just hate you in general. Pearl: You mean in “geh-neral”? Gem: Ugh, I’m “joing” to kill you!

Scar: What's worse than a heartbreak? Grian: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. Mumbo: Waking up in the morning. Gem: Waking up.

Scar: I love you. Grian: Me too.

Grian: Fight me! Scar: gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Scar: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

Pearl: What’s your favorite color? Gem: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature. Pearl: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP? Gem: My favorite color is pink.

Grian: Do you love me? Mumbo: We’re literally married. Grian: Yeah, but as friends or—

(logic is that Waffle duo got married as a bit like Clingy duo (Tubbo and Tommy) but G is like Tommy and doesn't want to get a divorce because he wants to commit it the bit.)

Grian: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Pearl: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Grian: They're not. Pearl: Haha, very funny. Grian: I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Pearl: No… what happened? Grian: …Why would you fall for this again-

Scar: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Gem: Bees? Scar: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES! Gem: Wait- Impulse approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly

Scar: Mx. Grian, I accidentally dropped my seed into my mouth and then I accidentally ate it. Am I going to have a lemon tree grow inside my belly? Grian: Well, let's think about it. Did you also swallow a wet paper towel? Scar: Yes. Grian: Grian: Alright, let's go to the nurse.

Grian: Some people are like slinkies. Pearl: What? Grian: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Pearl: Pearl: Please don't push Scar down the stairs. Grian, pushing Scar down the stairs: Too late.

Pearl: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Scar: When have I been paranoid? Pearl: Um, when you first met Gem you thought they were an undercover cop…? Scar: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Pearl: And last year you were sure Impulse was a mermaid! Scar: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! Later, when Scar’s theory is proven wrong Pearl: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Scar: I still think Impulse is a mermaid.

Grian: Scar, Pearl keeps bullying me at school. Scar: Ask your teacher for help. The next day… Grian, to their teacher: Will you help me beat up Pearl?

Pearl: Being gay isn't a choice. It's a game and I'm winning.

Scar: Being gay isn't a choice. It's a game and I'm winning.

(same quote 2 times in a row!?!?!)

Impulse, near tears: Please, Grian, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

Gem: I need to dye my hair. Impulse: … Gem: Or get another tattoo. Impulse: … Gem: Or a new piercing. Impulse: Why? Gem: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.

Grian: aggressively throws pencil at Scar Grian, deadpan: Oh no. I’ve been stabbed. I’ve been impaled.

(Double Life = soulmates)

Scar : So you like cats? Grian: Yeah. Scar : tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table

Impulse: What have you done with Scar ?

Grian: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

Pearl: Scar , let’s go! Grian : Oh, yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about writing maybe a letter. Pearl: Okay, you know what? That’s it, you had your chance. Grian : What-? Pearl: Mom, Dad, Scar smoked pot in college. Grian : You are such a tattletale! Grian : Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked into my room and smelled marijuana? Well, I told you it was Jimmy who was smoking the pot but… It was me. I’m sorry. Pearl: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn’t steal your Playboy’s, Grian did. Grian : Yeah, well, hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing Pearl did. Pearl: Grian hasn’t worked for a year! Grian : Pearl and Gem are living together! Pearl: Grian married Scar in Vegas and got divorced AGAIN! Jimmy: I love Jacques Cousteau! Etho: I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle! Doc: I wanna gooo!!

(I changed some names, aka added Doc, Etho and Jimmy, also Etho is the mum Docs the dad, and Tim is ofc the younger brother.) (the family situation is defo not from TTSBC)

Mumbo: I will send my army to attack! Mumbo: releases a dumpster of raccoons

Gem, throwing their head into Pearl's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Pearl, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

(awwwwww)

Squad is playing Among Us Grian: I believe Pearl is innocent, I was with them the whole time. Mumbo, what were you doing? Mumbo: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!

(I was gonna change Pearl to Scar and change Mumbo to Impulse because Impulsetor)

Pearl, in the hospital: Will you visit me when I get out? Grian: Lol nah, I hate graveyards.

[bunchesofoats]

Dancing In Your Downpour.

Feat — Rowan Laslow x Siren!Reader

Contains — Mutual Interest, No Established Relationship, Fluff, Only One Bed (/j) - Only One Umbrella, LIGHT WEDNESDAY SPOILERS (By that, I mean the absolute tiniest sprinkle), Literally saving this boy’s life from an asthma attack, etc

Length — ~1.4k words

Notes — Inspired by The Weekend Run Club’s song called Holliday and also the fact that Calum Ross is really really pretty. Also, Rowan had at most 10 lines, and here I am making this because he stole my heart… SO ENJOY! (Not proofread, I’m so sorry)

“The rain’s getting a bit heavy, don’t you think?”

Everyone gathered around the windows as they watched the rain pour outside Ms. Thornhill’s Greenhouse. Class was already 3 minutes over, you were all sure to be late to your next ones due to the downpour.

“Children, I have a few extra umbrellas and rain coats! You can use them to get to your next class!” Your teacher called from the front, drawing everyone’s attention. They all scrambled to the front, grabbing umbrellas and coats and filtering out of the greenhouse in groups. The only people left were you and Rowan Laslow at the entrance of the class waiting your turns.

You didn’t know the boy personally well enough, just that he was Xavier Thorpe’s roommate, he had Telekinesis, and that he was fairly cute. You tried to make a habit of being nice to everyone despite most people’s assumptions of sirens. The most you’d ever spoken to him was being partnered with him for an English assignment. After that, it was nothing but Hellos and Heys in the hallways. You did catch him staring once during lunch, you had given him a small wave and he immediately looked away.

You were lost in your thoughts, hand outreached into the rainfall, feeling your scales slowly come out. You let out a smile, water was the element you always felt at home with, so what was a little rain gonna do to you?

“I only have one umbrella left.” Your attention turned to Ms. Thornhill and then to Rowan. He gave you a weak glance before attempting to hand you the umbrella.

“You can take it.” He mumbled shyly. You eyed the boy, brow creasing in confusion. Rowan Laslow looked like he’d get sick from eating an ice cube, why would he offer you the umbrella when he’d absolutely get drenched out there?

“What are you talking about? You’d practically die out there without this.” You joked grabbing his wrist, taking the umbrella within your other hand. He yelped as you pulled closely him to your side before opening the umbrella with the other. He understood what you were up to pretty quick, adjusting himself to a safe distance where he wasn’t squished against you but still under the umbrella. He hesitated wrapping his arm around you, balling his fist to avoid making you uncomfortable.

“Ready?” You awaited his response. He stared wide eyed into the rain, gulping before he gave you a small nod. That was all you needed before you both stepped into the rainfall. You could feel the heavy patters hit you almost as if it were hail. It wasn’t too bad to walk in, but it seemed the wind had other plans.

Your umbrella blew backwards, the wires breaking in on themselves. It was a useless shield now, you were both drenched head to toe. Your back hit Rowan’s chest as you both pushed against the wind. You both definitely couldn’t make it to class at this rate.

“Hold on, there’s a shed!” You could hear Rowan’s attempt to shout. You looked in his direction, finding Eugene’s Hummers shed. That would have to do.

Each step you took was harder than the last. You were going the opposed direction of the wind, the only thing keeping you from being blown away was Rowan holding onto you. Thankfully, you both made it in and set your belongings down on whatever dry surface you could find. There were a few leaks in the roof, you could tell it was handmade.

You had no time to think about that though. You could feel Rowan’s touch leave you as he dropped to the floor wheezing. You quickly reached for his bag, rummaging through unorganized bits of assignments and loose sheets of work. You’d expected the boy to be more organized considering how great his grades were, how neat his uniform was kept, and how he styled his hair so nicely to the side. Not that you were paying that close attention or anything. Who would do such a thing? Definitely not you. Totally.

You couldn’t find his inhaler anywhere, and to be frank, you were panicking. You were totally about to watch this kid die in some shed and you were gonna go to jail or something. It wasn’t until you felt Rowan’s touch lightly against your wrist that you snapped your attention his way. He peered up at you, brows creased, eyes leading you to his blazer pocket behind his fogged up glasses. You got the message, reaching into his pocket you brought his inhaler to his lips. He lifted his hand to yours, instructing you before he breathed in.

You let out a breath of relief, you hadn’t realized you were holding onto it. He was breathing easier now and you could feel him loosen up in your arms. You dropped your head into his chest before pulling back into a laugh.

“Gods almighty, do not scare me like that again!” You lightly punched him. Rowan looked up at you, the hand gripping yours loosened as he sat up. Realizing the position you two were in, he glanced away from you.

“I didn’t think you cared all that much.” He coughed out awkwardly. You tilted your head, what did he mean?

“Why would I not care about you?” His gaze met yours. You finally managed to see his deep blue eyes past the dissipating fog in his glasses.

“I just mean, I never thought it was possible to be an outcast in a school full of outcasts. Yet you seem to actually care.” He mumbled mostly to himself. Why wouldn’t you care about saving someone’s life? Was he stupid?

“I mean, is it not common sense to save someone who’s on the ground with breathing issues? What do you want me to do, mouth to mouth?” You questioned incredulously, the response managed to make him smile.

“Gods forbid one of the most popular sirens in the school is seen kissing the Telekinetic crazy kid.” He breathed out a laugh.

“Oh please, if I was popular then I’d be in the notoriously super secret Nightshades.” You rolled your eyes at the idea of the division in popularity standpoints, the kissing part didn’t seem so bad though.

“They kicked me out a couple weeks ago, you’re really not missing much.” He fiddled with his hands as you both fell into a comfortable silence. You had positioned yourself next to him, sitting upon the ground as your backs leaned against the shed walls. You two were absolutely missing class, but you were kind of glad it happened like this. The only thing that seemed bad was the fact that you were utterly freezing. Forget what you said about a little water not hurting you, it was terrible now that you were shivering.

“Here,” Rowan pushed off the wall, removing his blazer. He spread it out, presenting it like a blanket to you.

“You’re really stupid, aren’t you?” He gave you a confused look as you took his blazer and removed yours to spread them around you both. It wasn’t nearly enough, but it was the best you could do. He was literally on death’s door a second ago from an asthma attack, yet here he was offering you his coat. He froze as you curled your legs up, leaning into his side.

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you ok with this?” You pulled away, noticing his sudden change. He looked pained for a split second at the loss of your proximity.

“No, no. It’s fine! I just didn’t know if you were uncomfortable with me holding you or anything. I didn’t want to assume and-” He rambled on and on. You hushed him by wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling the blazers back on. You really wouldn’t have been this forward if he hadn’t approved.

“Let’s just take advantage of this rainstorm, we can wait out the downpour.” You hummed, listening to the sound of his breathing and the pitter patter of the rain. It was an easy rhythm to fall asleep to. Besides, what was one day of missing classes?

-

“O-M-G!” You heard not so hushed whispers ring through your ears. “I have to put this on my blog!”

“Enid, do you not remember the fact that they’ve been missing all day? They better have a good explanation for this!” That was definitely Principal Weems voice.

It took you a second to gather where you were. The warmth holding you was, in fact, a person. Not just any person, but Rowan Laslow. You began to remember what happened before you fell asleep. You bolted upright, looking at the source of all the commotion. Squinting, you managed to look past the beaming flashlight to find pretty much everyone you knew and their mothers’ at the door of the Hummers shed.

That was an exaggeration of course… but Principal Weems did not look happy.

-

Pt. 2, My Heart Is My Sleeve: Here

[floralhuqzz]

Sexual tension (Johnnie Guilbert x fem reader) smut

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

Warning: smut, degradation, choking, petnames, virgin reader,, DONT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18🔞

🦇author: the edit thats in this post is not mine,, all credits to crystalcaskle on tiktok!!! :) I also apologize if theres any misspelled words english is not my first language!

♱

I woke up around 7 am when i decided to make myself some breakfast before i start streaming,, ive started youtube 1 year ago, around that time when i met Johnnie. Ive been living with him and Jake for the past 3 months and honestly its been going pretty good.

“whatcha’ making?”

“oh god dont scare me like that!” i slightly punch him in the shoulder

“sorry sorry.. it smells really good” he puts his arm around my shoulder and i blush.. i had a crush on him since when we first met

“you want some pancakes?” i look at him

“yeah, thanks” he pats my head, making my hair look like a mess

“i hate you” i roll my eyes

“you love me” he laughs as he sits down

‘i do..” i thought to myself

i make some coffee and more pancakes as i sit down next to Johnnie.

“are you doing something after?” he asks me while he keeps eating his pancakes

“yeah..i have to stream right now,, but im free afterwards” i smile

“wanna go out?” he finally looks at me,, he looked so beautiful,, his blue beautiful eyes.. his makeup he forgot to take off before bed that somehow still looked good on him.

“yeah..i would love to” i smile a little

i stand up

“i better go now, ill see you in 2 hours johnnie” i smile as i walk to my room

1 hour later*

i started streaming and i decided to react to some videos that my followers sent me,, they were usually sending edits of me or they will even sometimes send me memes. They all kinda supposed i had a crush on Johnnie, i just didn’t want to say anything just yet. They will sometimes send me edits of Johnnie and see my face turning red.

As one of my followers sent me this edit

When i watched that edit i said something that i will be definitely regretting later

“i volunteer..*cough* i mean what?..” i laugh

“WHAT DID SHE SAY” “DID WE HEAR THAT RIGHT?” “SHE JUST SAID I VOLUNTEER” “TELL ME THAT SOMEONE CLIPPED THAT”

“chat you are all crazy” i laughed

after another hour i decided to end the stream as i said my goodbyes

i walk to the living room as i see Johnnie sitting on the couch looking a bit serious

“you okay there?” i chuckle

“i need to talk to you”

oh no.

“yeah what is it?”

“mind explaining me this?” he shows me a clip of my reaction to that one edit on my stream

"oh um." i blush as i look away

"hm?" he stands up and walks towards me "cat got your tongue?"

i didnt say anything. i just stared at the floor

"i asked you something" he puts his hand on my chin

"it- it was just a joke, you know?" i chuckle awkwardly as i felt like i was about to pass out from embarassment

"it didnt seem like a joke to me" he stares at me

"yeah umm..." i start to walk back as he started to walk towards me, almost like trying to intimidate me

"whats wrong?" he smirks

"n-nothing" i finally bump into the wall behind me

"if you wanted to get fucked by me you couldve just said so"

"w-what?"

"dont play dumb"

"i-im no-" he grabs my neck

"lying to me wont get you anywhere" he stares at my shirt as he starts to put his hand inside my shirt

"j-johnnie what are y-" i could literally feel my heart beat racing by the second

"dont tell me you dont want this” he now started to kiss my neck

i felt like i was literally about to pass out from how hot i was in that moment. i couldn’t believe this was actually happening,,

“come here” he picks me up in bride style and sets up on walking to his bedroom,, he opens the door and throws me to his bed as he climbs on top of me

“fuck,, i wanted this for so long..” he starts to take off my shirt,, i felt hot between my legs

he started to kiss my stomach going down my hips. he slowly took off my pants and threw them on the floor

“johnnie wait!” he stops

“whats wrong? did i go too far??” he looks at me worried

“no no…its just that…its my first time..” i blush

“oh…” he smirks “ill make you feel good alright baby?,, you just have to trust me with this okay? can you do that for me?” he caresses my thigh. i nod as he then continued what he was doing earlier. he starts to kiss my chest going down my stomach, and finally reaching down to my panties.

“can i?” he started to kiss my inner thigh

“mhm” i nod

he slowly started to take off my panties as he then began to slowly eat me out. I’ve never in my life had been touched this way by anyone,, and knowing that the first person to take away my virginity was johnnie, it relieved me. i started to whimper as he suddenly started to go faster. his tongue was reaching all the right spots.

“fuck-“ i whimper as i felt him moan, sending vibrations to my core which gave me even more pleasure. i look down as i see him staring at me as he kept eating me out “johnnie fuck i-“ i moan

“come on baby, be a good girl and cum on my face” him calling me a ‘good girl’ sent me shivers down my spine.

“oh god oh god oh god-“ i throw my head back as i came

johnnie looks at me and caresses my thighs once again.

“you did so good baby..” he gets up and starts to kiss me. I see him unbuckling his pants.

“do you want this?” he asks

“yes…yes i do” i was so turned on by now that the only thing i wanted was him..and only him

“you will have to beg for it or ill leave you like this…needy…and you dont want that right princess?” he smirks

“n-no…” fuck he knew what he was doing. He waits for me to continue

“p-please johnnie..” i whimper as he lined himself to my entrance

“you can do better than that..” he looks at me dead in the eyes

“please johnnie i want your dick inside of me..” i beg,, i felt so embarrassed but turned on at the same time

“thats a good girl” he gets inside of my without a warning as i moaned from the sudden feeling

“for how long you’ve wanted this y/n? hm? tell me.” he began to move

“for a l-long time..” i moan, it felt like i was on cloud nine

He started to thrust harder and faster,, i felt like i was about to cum.

“j-johnnie i-im~” i whimpered and he put his hand on my leg and place it on his shoulder for better access which made the feeling 100 times better

“i know baby i know…fuck y-you feel amazing” he thrusted faster, “come on princess cum with me…” he moaned as we both cummed. We started to breath heavily,, with our hair sticking to our foreheads because of the sweat,, messy hair and red face but he still looked beautiful

“youre absolutely gorgeous..” i blush at his sudden comment

“i dont know if this is the right time but…i really like you..” he confesses

“i like you too johnnie…ive liked you for a very long time..” i smile at him as he kisses my forehead and we both fall asleep in each others arms.

[iceprincessviviane]

In silence

Type: Dark romance, may be read as soft yandere

Paring: CEO!Namjoon x Shy!Skinny!P.A!Female!Reader

Genere: mix of everything, beaware - smut.

It's a oneshot.

Warnings: Dark romance, alcohol, smut and sexual themes - size kink, dirty talk, unprotected sex, possessivness, marking and creampie. Brief swearing, breaking up and cheating, low selfesteem, age gap (around 5 years), abusing power as boss (nothing too much), reader is skinny - around 40kg-45kg and silly jokes creates by me. English isn't my first language so sorry for all mistakes.

Author's note: It's technically my first smut, so it can be a little cringe.

Dedicated to @aft3rhrs because this beautiful meance (angel) has always support me so there is a piece of my work. Also please check her content is absolute amazing!

Minors please do not interact.

Namjoon was fixing his a little creased and elegant shirt in elevator. His hand went through silver, disheveled hair and he looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't look that bad, his brothers have seen him in worse condition. He just didn't want them to notice almost immediately. He stepped out in 47 floor, for a short period of time looking at city down below. This time they were meeting in Jin's new apartment. He moved a little bit closer to centrum, but his house on outskirts were always available. Heavy steps echoed through hall, when he sped up. Namjoon was late exactly fifteen minutes.

Taehyung opened door with mischevious smile, everyone greeted him, J-hope came for a brothely hug. Jin looked at him from kitchen, adding last touches to dishes he prepared.

"Look who it is. Even Jimin was be able to be on time." Yoongi teased crossing his legs elegantly on a couch.

"Hyung!" Jimin hissed with a offend.

"Car traffic." Namjoon shrugged placing a bottle of expensive wine on countertop.

"Don't you have the most skilled driver?" Jin said looking at him with amusement.

"Will you stop?" Namjoon snapped a little.

"Don't talk back to elders." Yoongi pointed at him with his finger.

Namjoon sighed sitting down and taking off his expensive jacket. Jungkook was observing him carefuly with bunny smile. He looked at his hyungs giving them almost invisible nod.

"Nice place Jin I must admit."

"Thanks. I'll be finally able to see you all often."

All of the cheered at his statement. The oldest placed his dishes on coffee table. There were mostly snacks and Jimin opened this expensive bottle filling everyone's glass.

"I have also something stronger." Jin said sitting down.

"We don't wanna to get drunk hyung." Jungkook stated reaching for a fork.

The conversation has begun, they were talking about almost everything, but mostly about job. Each one of them was successful CEO, their parents were friends and they have met in early childhood. Their bond was more than a friendship, they were a brothers. Protecting each other, caring about each other and worring about each other. As soon as their complains stopped and all the jokes were told a silence has fell upon them. All eyes were fixed on Namjoon, he gulped on his glass.

"What?" He asked bluntly.

"You would deceive us, but this expensive, feminine perfumes are all over your body." Yoongi said tilting his head a little on right.

"Isn't that the right time to make a move? How long does she work for you? Three years?" Jin asked.

Namjoon sighed and put down his glass looking at his brothers. He clenched his jaw.

"Yes, three years. But she has a boyfriend."

"As if that mean something." Taehyung scoffed.

"Seriously hyung you need to quit fucking around and take matters in your own hand." Hobi said softly looking at his hyung with worry.

"You won't forget her through that, I know what I am saying." Jimin added.

"Unless you'll fire her." Yoongi summed up.

"Fuck, never. Besides all of this she is a great P.A. with my clumsiness and forgotting stuff, I would be doomed." Namjoon stated.

"So we have an answer." Jin said looking at him waiting.

"Look guys, I appreciate your concern, but I don't want to scare off with any movements or make her hate herself or blame. She might quit or ran away."

"I am pretty sure that you are perfectly capable of convincing someone to stay at your side." Yoongi noticed playing with his glass.

"Yeah and you can totally attract anyone hyung, not to mention all the women you fucked up in previous three months." Jungkook shrugged.

"And if you're afraid of breaking her, then do it and fix it." J-hope helped with serious gaze.

}*{

The morning went very smooth, Namjoon was passing through his building with wide smile, diamples showing, some workers greeted their boss and his smile improved humor a lot of them. It was past lunch time, he had to do something earlier so only now coming to his office. He entered big room with wide windows, large desk behind them and armchair.

"Good morning Mr-Mr. Kim." This little hesitation made him stop on his tracks.

Under a wall, near the entrance was another desk, but smaller. A lot of shelves, computer monitor, binders and board with pinned small papers. He looked at his personal assistant with surprise, but she seemed to ran away from his gaze, lean to look on papers, hiding face. His brows almost met each other in deep frown, but he decided to be quiet about it. He put away his light coat, it was spring but sometimes the cold wind was showing up, took his laptop and sat behind desk. The room has been filled by silence, but not one, that Namjoon enjoyed. Usually it was comfortable silence, which was distrubed by keyboard or shuffling on his or her side. Today it was like her fingers were typing almost silently, long hair covered almost all of her face. He really wanted to ask what happend, but she would said as always 'Everything is okay Mr.Kim, thank you for your concern.', but nothing was so visible as today's matter. On right side of her desk was a finished cup of tea, nothing more. Namjoon frowned again.

"Did you have your lunch break Miss L/N?" He asked looking at her.

She jumped at sudden silence breaking, slowly looked at her boss and noded. "Yes Mr. Kim."

She was paler than ususal and cheeks a little bit reddish. Make up little stronger, than he know. It had him wonder. Y/N was always dressing aproppriate to work, neat and crisp shirt following by pencil, long skirt then usually elegant jacket, because even in spring she would be cold in the office. She went back to her work, but he was distracted, fighting inside to ask or to remain silent.

"You seem to be little away with your thoughts."

"I-I'm sorry Mr.Kim. It won't happened again."

Her little figure shrugged and shrinked under his words. He didn't mean it in harsh way, but in a chance for her to explain, well it didn't work. During whole day he noticed as she was looking at the wall in front of her with glassy eyes. When finally the end of the work has come, he really wanted to ask her, but she hurriedly turned off her PC, excused herself with early bus and went out taking her things.

Y/N has never allowed herself to cross any line between boss and worker, that's why Namjoon was so hesitant to make any move towards her. But now he felt like the small bond between them was fading and she was slipping out of his grasp, running away for unknown for him reasons. He won't be having any of this. Never.

}*{

Sun was no longer on the sky, when Namjoon grabbed his phone and dialed Y/N's number. He was sitting in his wide and luxorious apartment still distracted by his P.A behaviour. Outside started to rain, but he couldn't care less. She picked up almost immediatly.

"Yes Mr Kim?" He could swear that her voice was a little shaking in the beginnig.

"I'm sorry to calling you on that time, but I really need to adjust my schedule. I'm afraid that, I need your help with that. Also it's Friday and I want to do it immediately." It was all lies, but he would do anything, to have her in his apartment right now.

"It's all right boss, after all it's not that late. I will come to office with all my notes." She reassured him.

"There is no need for you to come to the office. I will send a driver, we'll meet in my apartment." He stated using his soft tone.

"I-... of course Mr. Kim." She corrected herself.

Then, he hung up. Namjoon knew where she was living due to workers files, he sent his driver and started to clear living room and thinking about credible reason, why he need to redo his schedule. Not even an hour has passed, when he suddenly heard a ringbell. He straightened his elegant shirt, fixed hair and glasses. On the coffee table was lying laptop with few papers scattered. Namjoon opened door with little smile.

She looked stunning with cheeks marked by cold, evening wind, hair free and little wild and shy demanor. Her outift was the same as in the office today. To be honest, he also had the same clothes. He let her inside and closed carefully door. Y/N started to taking her coat, when Namjoon's strong hands helped her.

"Thank you sir." She mubled grabbing her bag and peaking around a little.

"No problem, please make yourself home."

After taking off shoes, he lead her to coffee table with two armchairs in opposite sides. She sat down her and took out trusted notebook with some papers.

"Coffee, tea?" Namjoon asked looking at her.

"There is no need." She lifted her eyesight unsure.

"You should get warm after being outside and I am afraid that we will spend some time on this."

"Then tea, if it's possible." She said polietly.

He nodded and took two cups, little bags of herbs, each in different taste, then kettle full with hot water.

"Choose your favourite, but be careful it's really hot." Namjoon said and the took a seat. He already know her favourite one, but didn't want to scare her. As he suspected she picked it and put into a cup.

"I want to have free on Tuesday and Wednesday, I see we have a couple of meetings in those days." He started looking at his laptop's screen.

"Yes." Y/N checked her notes. "They are not so important, but the issue is that the Thursday and Friday are packed... and we wouldn't want to delay that stuff..."

"Plus there's a meeting with Mr. Lee, he's a important chairman." Namjoon added.

"Yes sir." Y/N agreed. "Maybe I could call him and put this meeting actually in next week, but in the early evening?"

"That would be perfect, I can pull a longer day of working. How about you?"

"Of course Sir."

They were able to clear schedule for incoming Tuesday and Wednesday, but making next week more busy. If Mr. Lee woukd agree, there would be a meeting at 6 a.m anf it meant whole day of working for both of them. P.A declared that during a weekend she is going to make necessary calls to make it real. Namjoon was stealing glances at her behind his laptop. It was now or never.

"Actually Miss L/N, are you sure, you want to come to work for full shift during my absence and then, in next week work till late hours?" He asked with the softest tone. "I'm not questioning your skills, I'm just concerned."

"I'm sure." She said slowly. "I'll prepare files for the meetings with Mr. Lee."

"Today you looked a little tired. I was actually hesitant to call you." He pressured a little.

"I-I'm perfectly fine. If it's everything, I'll be heading home. It's getting late." She muttered meekly.

Y/N started picking her things really fast, when she stood up, Namjoon was able to catch the sight of her eyes - all glossy. He also got up, but she already went to the door, clutching a belt from a bag in her hands.

"Wait!" CEO pleaded, but she didn't listen.

When P.A reached hand for a door handle, he caught her wrist and yanked, turning her around to face him. His worried features met tears streaming down her soft cheeks. Namjoon grabbed Y/N's arms to prevent any escape attempts.

"Tell me what happend." He demanded in tone mixed of authority and worry.

"It's so embarrassing..." She whispered trying to wipe out tears.

"You can trust me." Namjoon reassured and looked into her eyes intensly.

Because of that Y/N looked down and her voice was still but a whisper. "M-My boyfriend. He cheated on me, couldn't stand how do I look. He said that he need a real woman, then broke up with me."

Her knees gave up, seemed like a confession took her whole strength. Namjoon was able to catch falling woman, embracing her and then sitting on the floor. Small figure between his legs with cheek pressed to his wide and firm chest. CEO's blood has boiled because of her words. In addition to that, it looked like dam has bursted and now she was crying strongly, staining white shirt with hot tears. Y/N's body was shaking terribly, as if it was going to shatter into pieces without his strong arms around her waist.

"He's an idiot." Namjoon said seriously looking down a her.

"It wasn't a first time, I heard something like this..." she admitted quietly curling inside.

"Please don't care about that shit talking, it isn't true." He whispered softly.

"Then why did he do that? Why did he approach me when wasn't attracted to me in a psychical way?" Cute sniff reached his ears. "And why he had to marked it so harshly?"

"Because he's an idiot." Joon repeated with a frown, but she couldn't see it.

"It doesn't matter, even if again someone is going to like me, my looks'll scare them off."

Namjoon sighed quietly couldn't believe what he's hearing right now. His thumbs rubbed comfortly her sides in attempt to calm her down. After some time the tears slowed and quiet sniffes could be heard. Y/N's body relaxed a little, wasn't that tense as before, so Namjoon carefuly put an arm under her knees then lifted without any troubles. Really she was so light, he could carry her with one hand. His P.A squirmed a little realizing the situation.

"Don't worry, I won't drop you." He chuckled slighty.

"I should go home..."

"You can stay for a while, my driver will take you home once you are going to calm down."

Namjoon took her back to living room, where the coffee table was and put on a couch carefuly, then took off a jacket and covered her shoulders with it. He sat beside and pushed back on his nose glasses, hearing her taking a deep breath, then their eyes meet. Y/N froze and fixed her eyesight on a coffee table.

"Sir it's inappropriate. I really should go."

"If I want to be a good boss, I need to take a good care of my employees right?" Namjoon smiled showind his diamples.

Y/N nodded slowly, but hugged her knees, then rubbed cheeks to take rid off tears. He hand her tissue to wipe leftovers and smeared make up.

"I'll make another tea?"

"Yes please."

He got up and went to an open kitchen, to take a kettle with a hot water. When he came back, she looked more comfortable, sitting properly. Scent from his jacket hit her nose, plesant chocolate and honey made her relax a little.

"You feel better?" Joon asked sitting right beside after filling again her cup.

"Yes... thank you Sir."

"And please don't hate yourself or care when people are talking about your looks. You are beautiful." He marked with soft smile.

"You think I'm beautiful?" She clenched the cup harder looking at him meekly.

"Yes, I do miss L/N." Namjoon said with smirk. "Not only me, some people in the office too."

Y/N giggled slighty at that news and a warm feeling spread inside her chest following by blush on cheeks.

"Thank you sir."

"Please call me Namjoon."

"I can't." She sighed quietly.

"What if I want to?" He looked at her, his gaze calm but face serious. Being this close she realized how big her boss was with wide shoulders, chest and strong arms. She gulped slighty thinking about right words.

"Thank you sir, but I shouldn't brag about my private life and problems. It was unprofessional and will never happen again."

"I'm glad that you did. Sometimes those things can dig a hole in a soul and I could reassure you that you're in fact stunning."

Blush on her cheeks was now more reddish and visible, Namjoon smiled showing his diamples, but she looked away. He had none of it, grabbing her chin gently, to make her look at him. Y/N released a shaky breath looking at him with eyes wide open. The proximity was so much, everything become silent at once. She wanted to say something, but he just leaned in connecting thier lips in a sweet, slow kiss. Y/N could feel Namjoon's presence everywhere, his scent from jacket, warmness radiating from his body and soft lips on hers. When they broke away from kiss his forehead touched hers, deep breaths filling the silence.

"I can show you how beautiful you are." He said in raspy voice, causing her to shudder. "I can take care of you, if you just let me..."

Second kiss was more intense, knocking breath out of her lungs. Y/N could feel his scent causing her head to spin, his hands found a way back on her waist. She placed hers on his chest and pushed a little. He held back looking at his assistant if there wasn't anything else, she looked conflicted and hesitant, Joon chuckeled deeply.

"Focus on me." He said caressing her reddish cheek with such care.

Y/N nodded following him, kiss deepened and Namjoon managed to pulled her on his lap, her delicate hands on his firm shoulders looking for a support. His chest released a deep rumble and his lips moved to kiss her jaw gently then focused on neck, soft whimper escaped from her causing CEO to smirk against her hot skin. He kissed her pulse, feeling it fastened because of that.

"You smell so nice." A whisper which caused her to squirm a little.

Whole room was on fire, her skin was on fire it was almost unbearable. She pulled away calmly only to see Namjoon wetting his lips, sinful it was but so goddamn sexy.

"I need to use bathroom."

He nodded with little smirk. "Second doors on a left."

She left his lap a little awkwardly and put away his jacket - there was hot anyway. It was small bathroom only with a toilet, sink, small cabinet and shelf. Y/N removed the smeared make up completly and corrected it a little, also put cold water on her cheeks and forhead. She looked at herself in the mirror.

"What are you doing?"

It helped her calm a little and think what's next, she just make out with her boss for God's sake. Yes, he was handsome and attractive but also caring and kind. It was a mix hard to resist. After taking care of everything she left and closed bathroom's door quietly. The apartment was now quiet, she looked around unsure. Namjoon was standing in front of big windows, which were spreading from floor to roof. He turned back once he heard the doors and just rolled sleeves from his neat shirt up. Y/N really wanted to tear her eyes from his strong hands, but she felt like enchanted, also they felt very nice on her skin, so gentle but so firm.

"Come and see. View maybe isn't perfecy, but I like it." He stretched out his arm to her.

She almost tip toed to him and accepted warm hand, now fully aware of all the rings on his fingers. They were gold, matching expensive Rolex on the other hand. Outside was still raining but clouds formed into unseen shapes and figures, it was pretty dark, but skyscrapes lights were on. The apartment now dim, only lamp from living room and kitchen.

"I would prefer you to stay until rain'll pass."

"I don't want to be an inconvenience..."

"You can tell, that I enjoy your presence here miss L/N."

She looked away shying from him and again this damn blush crept on her cheeks. Namjoon chuckled once more and put a lost strand of her hair behind an ear.

"Where did we end?"

"I don't know mr. Kim." The whisper came out shaky and more quiet that she's expected.

"I should remind you."

He stepped closer, so close that again his warmness reached her to dive into it. This time only his left hand was on her waist, but right cupped her cheek so, so gently. Namjoon's diamples showed again and Y/N could swear that she was going to melt right there. This kiss was passionate, deep and a little messy, his hand moved to back of her neck. Content hum spread through a room when his assistant squeezed his biceps delicately. Soon again his lips moved to cover her jaw with kisses, Y/N was standing on her toes to reach any of his height. Namjoon smirked and didn't waste any time, his hands sneaked under her thighs and picked her up without any trouble, she squealed suddenly looking down at him, her arms wrapped around his neck. He almost grunted feeling that she's wearing stockings under the skirt. Hot kiss was pressed again to her pulse.

"Perfect." He commented.

"What are you doing?" She whispered looking at them both.

"I need you closer." Namjoon breathed into her skin.

Not long after he started walking with her towards next room, he almost kicked door open and soon Y/N was placed on soft mattres, carefuly, delicately. She pulled off - it was probably his bedroom, the bed was big and so soft, cusions in light grey color. Night stands on both sides of the bed, the lights on wall automatically went on, when they got inside. Namjoon stood up and pushed his hair back looking down below at her just like that. There were a lot of pillows she counted six at least.

"Wanna continue?"

Y/N rose on her elbows and nodded feeling hot everywhere. He smirked putting away glasses.

"I need to hear you pretty thing."

"Yes, I want to continue."

"God, you don't know what are you doing to me, when you are so fucking obedient." He took off his watch and wanted to do the same with golden rings.

"No, no let them stay. They're beautiful."

Namjoon nodded. "Any more wishes?"

Y/N shook her head and then he knelt on a bed touching her knees delicately, to spread her legs and moved between them smoothly, the skirt get in a way, but it rolled up to Y/N's midthights. She whimpered softly, putting head on a pillow. Joon didn't waste any time capturing her lips in deep kiss, but he fast moved down to jaw, neck and his skillful hands opened first button of chemise, each opening was followed by soft, butterfly kiss on her skin. Her fingers found a way into his hair, going through delicately, making him groan. Y/N squirmed when hot kiss landed between her breasts and Namjoon smiled, but continued till he reached skirt and last button.

"Can we take it off?" He asked playing with hem of the shirt and locking their eyes.

"Yes."

Namjoon helped her take it off and smiled admiring her body, much smaller comparing to his well built and large.

"Yet skirt needs to go and I'll be content. For a while." He smirked.

Y/N nodded and pulled down a zipper on a side. Then it was easy to get rid of the skirt. Namjoon sucked breath loudly. She was having matching, black underwear with stockings and stocking belt. His eyes wandered on her skin slowly, intensly and greedyly.

"You don't like it?" She asked with a worry then her gaze running at the side.

"I love it. Now I can't look at your pencil skirt in the same way." He chuckled lowly, causing her also to smile.

"Can I touch you?" Y/N asked in small voice her eyes trailing to his crips shirt, which also happen to have buttons.

"Touch me, bite me, scratch me. Anything you like angel." Namjoon grabbed her hand and put it on his chest.

She also started to opening his shirt, feeling only strong muscles beneath hot skin and felt need to touch it more and more. He smiled into her lips when all the buttons were opened and she slid down the shirt, slowly exploring now naked shoulders and arms. CEO hummed with satisfaction, his thumbs made a cricles on her ribs. Y/n giggled softly.

"It tickles."

"Sorry." He said into her collarbone, the shifted down reaching the panties and belt, placing both of his hands on her hips and pressed long, open mouthed kiss on a stomach, then looked up locking their eyes and rubbed the belt.

"I know how to take if off." He said proudly.

"You do?"

"It happens to be a very useful skill."

Namjoon carefully freed stockings from attachments and took off first one slowly looking only into Y/N's eyes and gave a kiss to her calf, doing the same with second stocking, then he turned material of the belt a little and opened it like a bra, then sent it flying across the room. She laughed covering lips with a hand, but still a shaky breath managed to escape after he pressed a finger between her breats and touched a bra.

"What about this?" He asked with a deep voice, eyes slowly clouding by desire.

Y/N bite her lip, then took it off all by herself. Automatically her arms went to cover nudity, but Namjoon grabbed her elblow gently.

"Don't. Relax." He put her hand at his neck, then leaned in to kiss exposed skin, when his other hand touched a nipple and started to play with it. Y/N moaned softly closing eyes.

Despite being wrapped by a pleasure she asked anxiously. "Aren't they too small?"

"I don't care, they are perfect."

She felt extra blush on her cheeks and smiled involuntarily.

"Actually, I love small, cute things." He smirked hearing her giggle.

He pressed to her, she could feel his hard dick rubbing her clit just perfectly and Namjoon released low groan kissing her passionately.

"I need to be inside you."

His hand slid down reaching her inner thighs and caressed skin gently. Y/N shudder and felt wetness gushing out of her.

"I need you inside me." She said quietly in response.

"Fuck."

Fuck indeed, they both got rid of her panties, she was so wet Namjoon grunted, when she started to undo his belt. He took off the expensive trousers along with boxers, going back between Y/N's thights. She reached for his dick and wrapped her fingers delicately around it. Now he shuddered almost closing eyes.

"No teasing." Namjoon marked hurriedly.

She nodded and he touched her slit, then hummed contently rubbing in lazy circles her clit and Y/N moaned shamelessly.

"Let me know if something isn't right."

She nodded and kissed him tenderly, he responded with soft grip on her waist looking between their bodies.

"You are so tiny..." he grunted and sighed at skin to skin contact. "I'll be gentle."

Comparing to a lot of things, she was indeed tiny. Namjoon leaned in kissing her passionately, when pushing slowly his hips, Y/N mewled sinfuly and clenched around him. He did it slowly to make it easier to accommodate to stretch and she was greatful for that. The room disappeard, there were only them pressed tightly to each other. When his hips were flush against hers Namjoon groaned and pressed hasty kiss on her neck. She tenderly wrapped hands around his shoulders and her eyes rolled into skull, she felt so full and so hot everywhere. It was like heaven. He pressed soft kiss to her collarbone and started to move slowly and she clenched again.

"Shit, how am I supposed to control myself, when you feel so good?" Namjoon asked and hissed, the pleasure was unmatched.

"Then don't. I trust you." A heated whisper fell into his ear.

Low groan escaped his throat and his pace went faster. He rose her thigh and wraped it around his hip now reaching deeper and earning the cutest whine. Namjoon also made sure that his hands aren't leaving her body, cupping Y/N's cheeks during a kiss or making lazy circles on her skin. Soon, her breath was fast and deep and he smirked connecting their foreheads gently.

"You're close angel?"

"Y-yes."

Namjoon just felt so right against her body, giving her all the pleasure she needed, but didn't ask. It was truly a new experience.

"You're so good for me darling."

"Harder p-please." Y/N mewled weakly and Namjoon released a shaky breath.

"Say that again.

"Please."

His thursts fastened and became more raw. The way her's velvet walls hugged his cock, made him twitch. Y/N could feel her skin tingling and limbs went numb when she started cumming. Namjoon sealed her lips in passionate kiss, feeling her small body shuddering strongly under him. The softes whimper left her lips muffled and he stopped, then cupped her cheeks with a sly smile.

"Oh God. It was amazing." Y/N stated with a deep blush.

CEO only chuckled looking straight into her eyes, which were a little misty.

"Do you want to go another round?" He asked shamelessly their noses touching.

"Yes." She giggled and kissed him.

He started to move again with slow, but deep strokes now. After first orgasm, she knew that second will follow soon and a particular brush against her sweet spot made her dig nails into his back, leaving crescent marks. A soft squeal left Y/N's lips when she felt Namjoon biting her shoulder, then licking it. His hips stutter when once again she clenched around him. He was close to high and twitching inside her.

"I'll take a pill." She whispered softly.

After these words his pace quickened and she moaned into his lips. The pressure was building fast in her abdomen and Namjoon was slapping his hips against hers, chasing his release.

"Say my name." He demanded with a grunt.

She looked at him little confliced but goddamnit they were fucking right now, it couldn't become more inappropriate.

"Come on."

"Namjoon." She breathed into his lips, causing him to shudder and take a wild pace.

Y/N came clenching hardly around him, seeing stars and after that he was breathing harshly and spilling himself inside her. Namjoon's head fell on her chest. They both were panting.

"Thank you... for showing me." She whispered after a while, still in a bliss.

He chuckled playfuly and lifted head to look at her. His lips reached her forehead with a tender kiss, he grabbed the duvet and covered them both, then rolled, having her on top of him. Y/N blinked clearly not understaning and fighting a exhaustion. Namjoon kissed her hair.

"Sleep, I'll wake you up."

"But..."

"Hush. It's okay, rest."

Y/N didn't protest more, carefuly putting head on his wide chest, then closing her eyes. She had to be really tired, because soon, the room was filled with quiet, but calm snores. Namjoon was looking at her with eyes shining, his fingers were making shapes on her back gently. He fell asleep with chest filled with a warm feeling to the brim.

Morning came and sunlight hit her face mercilessly. Y/N scruntched her nose and slowly opened eyes, covering them weakly by a hand. Her ears were filled by silence, she felt strong arms on her waist. Namjoon was still sleeping like an angel, so beautiful like that, his skin radiating in morning light. She smiled observing his face and shifting a little, to take off her weight from his body, only put leg over his waist, head still on his chest and hugging him around smooth waist. It was so peaceful, that she wanted to stay there forever. Soon Namjoon's eyes flickered and he woke up. His hand with golden rings brushed hair from her face then tenderly caressed her cheek. Y/N smiled lazy, opening eyes and looked at him with shyness.

"Good morning angel." His morning voice was deep and horse, then he pressed soft kiss to her temple.

"Good morning."

"Did you sleep good?"

"Like a baby." Y/N giggled softly.

"That's good to hear."

They were lying in a bed, comfortable and peaceful. She put her head back on his chest, listening to steady heartbeat, he was lazily drawning shapes on her back. It was Saturday so they could stay like this.

"Are you hungry? If I remember correctly, you didn't eat any supper yesterday."

"Maybe a little and you have right, I didn't."

"I'm not the best cook, but let's do some breakfast."

Y/N nodded and sat on the bed looking for her clothes from an yesteday. She wrapped duvet around her and didn't see that Namjoon actually couldn't tear his eyesi from her.

"Wait." He stood up then put on his briefs and walked to wardrobe. He picked fresh, but casual shirt and turned back to her. Y/N blushed heavily at his idea, but nodded and accepted it. She put it on, it was so big that it reached around her knees.

"Thank you." She smiled softly.

He grabbed her hand, so small and lead her to the kitchen. He made her tea, when she picked up ingredients for a vegetable salad.

"Would you like some toast?" He asked unsure scratching his nape.

"Yes, do you have any jams?"

"Of course, unfortunately I know someone who hasn't." He responded with a smirk.

She looked at him questioningly, but he brushed it off. Once they sat down and started to eat, silence filled the apartment. Namjoon was looking only at her, causing her cheeks to go reddish once more.

"Can we see each other tomorrow?" He asked looking at her carefuly.

"I- I have things to do..."

"It's okay, I know this was... unexpected." Namjoon smirked and she giggled.

"Unexpected, but very nice." She said with shyness in her voice.

"Great to hear that."

They ended up talking casualy about small things, but after a breakfast she went to picked up her things. Namjoon insisted her to take a shower and meanwhile he changed clothes into something more appropriate, but not so elegant as yesterday. There was casual shirt followed by jeans. He was tempted a little to enter a bathroom, but somehow resisted this idea. Feeling Y/N smell like his shampoo made his stomach squeeze. He exhaled loudly and smiled widely.

"I'll drive you."

"There's no need I..."

"That's not under negotiation." Namjoon stated grabbing his keys.

Again he grabbed her hand and they went out of the apartment. His car was in underground parking, they talked a little, she was asking about living in such area. Y/N gulped seeing very luxorious Mercedes, but he only chuckled.

"It won't bite you."

He opened a door for her as gentleman, then sat on a driver's seat. Engine roared coming back to live. Whole drive his hand was lying on Y/N's tight and comfortable silence was filling the space inside. He parked under her apartment and looked at her with a smile. She smiled back unsure.

"So we'll see each other in Monday?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"Perfect."

He cupped her cheeks and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Y/N melted into it and it was very hard to break off. Namjoon smiled on her lips, then parted away.

"Have a nice weekend and be careful."

"You too Namjoon." She said as goodbye, then left the car.

He inhaled deeply and wide grin appeared on his face. He made sure that she reached the flat, then drove off.

}*{

The weekend was passing very slowly in Namjoon's perspective. He had to hold himself to not call Y/N during Saturday, but he allowed himself on Sunday. She picked up and they had a brief talk, she was in hurry. He couldn't focus on and get her out of his mind. Her lingering scent in a bedroom didn't help either. The same day he had meeting with the boys but refused to elaborate why he had such a good humor, even if Jungkook was annoying as hell. Also the images of him hiving her on his office desk were haunting his mind. Finally the Monday has come and he was in office point 8 a.m, but his P.A was nowhere to see. Namjoon put on his best suit to look amazing. His hand was decorated by rings she liked that much. He shifted on his armchair and frowned. Inside got his manager with a thick layer of papers.

"Sir it's good to see you this early. We can look up at candidates."

"Candidates?" He repeated unsure.

"Oh yes, as far as I know miss Y/N L/N has filled a resignation letter due to personal reasons. She said she has informed you before."

Namjoon has opened his mouth then closed it, processing what he just heard. His jaw clenched along with fists and for a while he was seeing only red. He excused himself and stormed out of the office, almost whole drive cursing the whole existance, he parked under her flat and went inside jumping over two stairs at once. He had the addres remembered since first day, when he reached right door, didn't hasitate to press a bell button. Softly 'coming' could be heard behind and the doors opened slowly revealing Y/N in home clothes - shorts and small shirt exposing stomach. Her shoulders dropped and fingers started to fidget anxiously.

"May I come in?" He asked with serious voice.

"Y-yes." She stuttered.

Y/N moved to let him in, then closed doors. Apartment was small but so cozy, he could spot bathroom doors, kitchen in front of exit, small bedroom and salon. He turned around, almost trapping her between him and doors. She leaned on looking at floor.

"Explain." Namjoon demanded sounding almost desperately.

"It's my fault." Y/N confessed honestly. "I enjoyed our... meeting, but I cannot force myself to work with you. It's unfair and wrong."

"I can be discreet! And it doesn't explain why you left without a word." Namjoon frowned deeply.

"I... you... I know my place in line. The office is filled with rumors, I'm none to judge but... if I was just another woman to have a nice night with, that was a right thing to do, because it meant something to me." She whimpered helplessly.

"I would ask you out first day, when your shy smile charmed me, but I knew that would scare you off." He said slowly.

Her breath hitched inside and eyes opened widely, but she shook her head violently.

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

She lifted her eyesight at him. Jaw clenched and gaze focused only on her. He looked sincere even determinated. Y/N couldn't even say anything, because he cupped her cheeks, pinned to a wall and connected their lips, putting in that kiss all his emotions. When they stopped, their foreheads were still touching.

"I need you at work and I need you in my private life, I don't care what people will say, you are coming back." Namjoon marked leaving no place to argue.

"But-"

"No buts." He cut her off. "I can be fair towards my employees and just because we're going to date, that don't mean I'm going to favor you. Even without that you are doing a great job."

Y/N smiled a little. "You really think that?"

"Yes."

She nodded and hugged him putting her head on his wide chest. He kissed her hair tenderly and wrapped arms securely around her waist. Maybe his brother were right and one move changed everything? Anyway it was worth waiting those three years. Now Y/N was safe and sound in his arms forever.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being truthful with my husband's coworker?

I (23f) have a husband (25m) who is very close with his coworkers. They come over to our house a lot for DND, holidays, etc.

One of his coworkers, N (27m) and I were close. N is very charismatic and flirts with EVERYONE. My husband legitimately did not care, I've even showed him me and N's texts before which look the same as my husband and N's- yes some flirting but nothing actually serious. Most of it is joking

Well, N started dating someone they all work with, J. I had never met J, I have 0 clue her age. The first time we met, I tried to be inviting as there isn't a lot of girls around except those of us that are married or who already are coworkers. She seemed shy, maybe a bit socially awkward.

Then the second time, I caught her pointing at me and whispering to her best guy friend and they both started laughing. It felt like I was in high school, but I ignored it. N had been out of the room. This was at MY house.

We've met a handful of times since, and by a handful I mean literally 5 times. Every time she does not say a word to me. I've tried talking to her and she'll blankly stare at me. So I've stopped. If she doesn't want to be friends that is her choice.

Except my husband caught her vagueposting about me on social media. N doesn't have social media fyi. She basically posted the exact outfit I was wearing, something that happened, and then put "what a dumb situation caused by someone stupid, but at least the outfit was cute". She also replied to a comment saying i was flirting with her man and a homewrecker, which is why I brought up how N is because he is like that with EVERYONE. So I haven't liked her since because, sure she can be upset with N and me joking and "flirting" even if N is like that with every coworker and even my husband, but to post about me and call me stupid just seemed petty and rude

I asked N if she was uncomfortable with our interactions, because J had me blocked on social media and I couldn't ask her, and N said she shouldn't be because he treats me no different then anyone else.

Well, any group hang outs she doesn't come to. There is always an excuse, and I dont even want to invite her because of what she said about me. Except for DND which I am not a part of (I do enjoy it, but the way they play is so fast paced and im dyslexic and not good at math, I have a better time watching then playing so I do other things while they play, it also gives my husband time to enjoy a hobby he likes alone). Anytime J is over for DND she ignores me or whispers to her guy friend when I'm around. N is still N, flirting with everyone (me, my husband, the guy who plays an orc, J, etc.). I dont even think he is intentionally flirting i think he is just very charismatic and some stuff he says can be taken that way

Well most recently N invited us to his house so me and my husband went. J came home started talking to everyone there and then saw us and went to her room (N, J, and two other people live together). She didn't come back out the entire time me and my husband were there, but I found out later she came out once we were gone.

N texted me asking my opinion of J. I was truthful and said, and I quote "Well she seems smart and she is pretty, but I don't really know her. I don't think she likes me, which to each their own. I wish she was a bit more polite about things when she is at my house. Cant really speak on someone i dont know except that shes a bit cold and not who i had thought you would be with.. Otherwise, as long as your happy, what does my opinion matter?" To which N replied "so you have a bigger opinion" and then blocked me.

My husband agrees with me but N is his best friend, they haven't discussed it at work. I have seen J recently, we ran into each other at a store, and she called me a bitch (I guess N told her what I said). AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[queenlucythevaliant]

Okay, here we go. Rating literary allusions in Taylor Swift songs:

The Outside: "I tried to take the road less traveled by /but nothing seems to work the first few times/am I right?"--Starting off pretty well! She tried to take the road less traveled by, but it didn't make any difference. 8/10

Love Story: Whole song allusion to Romeo and Juliet-- All those 2008 jokes about Taylor not having read R&J weren't funny then and they aren't funny now. It's a fun, satisfying subversion. However, I am going to dock points for the fact that Romeo and Juliet aren't a prince and princess, just rich. 7/10

Love Story: "You were Romeo/I was a scarlet letter"--Is the Juliet character in "Love Story" being publicly shamed? Did she do something scandalous? There are zero other lines in this song to suggest that she did, and a fair amount of evidence that she didn't. This allusion confuses rather than clarifies and tbh this is the one people should've made fun of in 2008. 2/10

New Romantics: "We show off our different scarlet letters/ trust me, mine is better" --Hooray! She figured out what the book is about! This is a beautifully executed allusion, where "scarlet letters" represents a mark of something shameful which, in a fun subversion, is being shown off with pride. Fits the song really well. Most improved award, 11/10

Getaway Car: "It was the best of times, the worst of crimes" (A Tale of Two Cities) -- Goes in the category of "fun wordplay, but doesn't really mean anything deeper" 5/10

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: "Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year" --This is a perfectly serviceable allusion, but not a super interesting one. Sub "Gatsby" out with "nostalgic" and the song wouldn't change at all. She could've done a lot more with the reference, given the subject matter of the song. 6/10

cardigan: "I knew you/tried to change the ending/Peter losing Wendy" -- This works! You get a sense of Betty losing her innocence and choosing to leave James and of it being inevitable somehow. Plus, it imbues the song with a lovely fairy tale quality. 10/10

illicit affairs: "take the road less traveled by/tell yourself you can always stop" -- To take the road less traveled by is to do something risky, unpopular, or unfamiliar, not just to take a route through town where you won't run into people. Not totally egregious, but the regression from Debut is disappointing. 4/10

invisible string: "and isn't it just so pretty to think/ that all along there was some/ invisible string tying you to me."(The Sun Also Rises)--Ugggggh. Okay, so "Isn't it pretty to think so?" is this sad, tired, ironic note in The Sun Also Rises. Brett tells Jake, "We could have had a damned good time together" and Jake says "Isn't it pretty to think so?" because their whole situationship was never going to work. It's not a positive thing; it's pure, bitter Lost Generation irony. Completely out-of-place in a song about how two people we're supposed to believe will actually work as a couple. This one drives me nuts, and I don't even like Hemingway. 0/10

happiness: "I hope she'll be a beautiful fool/ who takes my spot next to you" (Gatsby)--Saying this about an ex's future SO is so... off. Like, the reason why Daisy hopes her daughter will be a beautiful fool is because it's easy. The two situations have nothing to do with one another, and not in an interesting way. 1/10

The Albatross: whole song allusion to "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner," but most notably "She's the albatross/ she is here to destroy you"--The albatross in the Rime is a good omen. The Mariner shoots is for no reason, and the albatross's death is the ostensible source of bad fortune. I wrote a whole separate post on this here. That said, culturally "albatross=bad omen" is common enough, so whatever. 3/10

I Hate It Here: "I will go to secret gardens in my mind/ people need a key to get to/ the only one is mine" -- I like this one a lot. Exactly the right vibe for the song, trying to escape something miserable by going somewhere pleasant. The key is a nice touch. Poor Archibald. 10/10

The Prophecy: "I got cursed like Eve got bitten" --No Taylor, that's not what happened. Famously, Eve was the biter in that situation. 0/10

Cassandra: whole song allusion -- correct me if I'm wrong (I haven't actually read the Illiad), but my understanding is that Cassandra died fairly far into the Trojan war, and not by burning. 4/10

[raenizza]

"Cybersex"

Synopsis: The reader finally gets the chance to Facetime Roman as he awaits her all alone on his tour bus.

Roman x Black OC reader, Roman x Black Reader

Word Count: 2522

Warnings: Masturbation? Curse words, wet slushy ushy gushy sounds, dick slapping on cam, edging

Author’s Note: Happy New Year!! And what better way to start the New Year off than with a little E-sex. Enjoy my loves.

Happy New Year!!! 

So you know what that means, it is the last smackdown of 2022. With this historic event at bay, you know exactly what is expected of your time spent with your man and that it is very limited. You have been patiently waiting for weeks now on end to see him.  Watching him on TV does not count entirely and cute little selfies don’t do enough justice. You want to see him, even though you can’t physically be there, seeing him interact with you one on one is something so special. For the past few weeks, Roman has only communicated with you only through phone calls, text, and voice messages. His busy schedule has been insane lately and you can barely keep up, but the good news is that he makes time for you. He always has and always will. No matter what it is, your man will always do his best to respond to every message or call as soon as possible even if it's a quick “baby I'm a little busy give me a sec”. You know that his attention will always be focused on you, hence you’re his number one priority and he made sure of that.

You stared gracefully at your 75-inch TV screen, which played the famous Netflix film, 365 DNI. Although you are not entirely interested in the movie as a whole, you decided to put something on as background noise in order to distract you for a while. You then glanced at the large clock on the wall checking the time. 10:55 p.m. “Ok I got 5 more minutes.” you said to yourself and you prepared for the Facetime call.

Propping the pillows up in front of you to hold your phone, you decided to get comfortable quickly sitting criss-cross on the bed. You had slid on one of Roman’s T-shirts matching it with Christmas-themed fuzzy socks.

Looking around the room, making sure it’s clean and organized. Which lead to everything being in place.

“10:59, wheww almost there.” you kept thinking to yourself. You and Roman agreed to Facetime around 11:00 p.m.It was better for both of you hence he’s got done with rehearsing for Smackdown and can have plenty of free time.

 “11:00 p.m. FINALLYY!!” you yelped out and went straight to the Contacts app, slid through your favorites, quickly tapped “Papí💖” and hit the ‘Facetime’ button. You waited patiently as the phone began to ring. Nervous as you are, you shift in a couple of different positions but looked awkward in each one so you just settled down a bit.

The phone finally answered in the middle of you twisting your back a little to the side. Roman opens up with a big smile on his face.

“HEY BABY!!” he screamed loudly on his end. You jumped out of excitement but also embarrassment. “HII BABYY!!” you responded quickly adjusting your posture back to an erect position.

“What are you doing?” he giggled.

“Nothing, just getting comfortable. Anyways, What’s up?? How you doing boo?” you asked quickly derailing the conversation.

“Just came from the arena and I am burned out,” he said in a stressed manner.

“Babe, my body is so sore. I need a deep massage, a hot bubble bath, and possibly 2 or 3 beers.” 

“Well when you come home, I can make all of your wishes come true,” you replied with a cheeky smile. He returned the favor. 

“Where are you by the way? Have you reached the Hotel?” 

“Oh no, I’m on the bus,” he said as he looked around lifting his camera up to make sure she can see it too.

“The bus? You mean RV?” you laughed. Roman rolled his eyes instantly knowing where this is headed. He knows you like to joke about that big ass house on wheels he calls a bus and his tiny obsession with being it all the time.

“First off, you not goin' come for my ride, this baby is expensive and cozy.” He replied jokingly as pats the armchair next to him. 

“Baby, that shit is literally a studio apartment on 4 wheels. I’m surprised you’re not carrying a mini garage with it.” 

“Yea, yea whatever.” He replied annoyingly.

“Speaking of the house on the road, where’s your little road buddies?” You asked looking all through the screen to see if you can catch a glimpse of the Twins or even Paul.

“Oh they…they not here yet. Still in the locker room getting a couple of stuff done.” He replied as laid back in the chair.

“So you have the place all to yourself?” you said with a cheeky smile. Glaring at him on that phone screen. You watched him seemingly adjust himself in his chair. Then you heard moans coming from the TV screen forgetting that you still had that porno of a movie playing. 

“What the hell are you watchin” he says as you try to quickly find the remote on the bed nearly falling over. “Nothin' its just this random movie I started playing.” 

“You mean PORN.” he giggled out as you found your position back on the bed. You couldn’t help but stop and watch the vulgar sex scene as Massimo continues fuck the absolute mess out of Laura. Watching the repeated sex scene got you so hot and bothered that you forgot that Roman was still on the call. 

“Babe,” he said interrupting you. You looked down at him with a smirk. “Hey, sorry. I …I think I have an idea,” you stated seductively. “Hold on where is this going?” he says in a warning tone.

“Well since you are all alone in that big ole bus of yours and I haven’t seen you what feels like ages I thought maybe you and I could finally have some fun.= tonight.”

You positioned your phone further away from the bed and started to slowly undress. “Y/N, I know you’re not-”

 “Hush, and let me do what I need to do.” Shutting him up instantly. 

You began taking off the oversized T-shirt, revealing your bare skin and black lace bra. You made direct eye contact with him as you massaged your breasts. Then, you worked way down your stomach to the top of your panty line. Roman watched your movements closely without uttering a word. 

Your hands reach the edge of your panties and you slowly pull them down. You watched him watch you for seconds, then abruptly stopping in your tracks.

“Hold on, Babe I forgot something,” you said as you got up with a cheeky smile teasing your man all the way. Roman rolled his eyes immediately

“Really,” he said annoyed with your playfulness.

“Yes really” you responded as you stood, awkwardly in front of your nightstand looking for your rose toy. 

After a couple of quick nips and nags, you finally found the super soaker 3000 and could not wait to show your man what that piece of machinery can do. “Yes,” You said as you carefully jumped back into the bed and going right back into position in front of your phone.

“Babe, what’s that?” Roman asked. “Don’t worry about it just watch me.” You told him immediately concentrating on him and also the movie that is still currently playing in the background. 

You proceeded to remove your bra and undergarments, showing your beautiful wet brown lips and round perky breasts. Roman began licking his own lips watching everything fall into place and at the very sight of your pearl, he immediately began to shift in his seat. Covered in sweet, clear, and thick juices you placed the rose toy at the very center of your pussy, looking back at Roman on your phone as you can see him slightly grow in his sweatpants.

 “You like me like this baby?” You asked him in a seductive tone. “Mmmh hmmm” he growled as a response, sending you into oblivion. 

Roman moved his phone to a stand nearby his chair. He quickly looked around the bus to make sure no one was coming in. He laid back into his recliner chair and unbuckled his pants pulling them a few inches down by his waist. His bright red Nike boxers slid down slightly showing his brown-tanned abdomen. You watched him undress as he watched you. 

Roman smirked at the thought of you applying more pressure on your folds, so to tease you some more he started to rub his crotch area. He started with the base, slowly rubbing his balls as he watched you put the toy directly over your clit. He growled once again, thinking about rubbing his balls against your folds and feeling all of your wetness. Roman then proceeds to work his way from his base to the very tip of his dick, stroking every inch through his boxers. 

You then placed the rose toy closer to the entrance of your pussy, feeling every bit of vibration coming in. Roman, see this and shifted his position once more as his dick began to poke out in his underwear. His warm precum starts to slowly pour out from his tip, he rubs it against his garments watching your hips buck at every movement from the vibrations. 

“Fuckkkk” he whispered under his breath as he grinds against his own movements. “Take them off, baby” you moaned to him. “Please.” Breathily, as you can’t withstand the rose toy’s motions. Roman follows suit and pulls down his underwear. His caramel-colored dick springs out freely, smacking against his abdomen. 

“You like this shit, huh?” He says as he smacks it against his hand. With no lube in sight, Roman then spits on his hand and started to stroke his dick slowly up and down. “Mmmmhhm, Fuck babe” He says watching you on his tiny screen. 

“So fuckin’ sexy.” He whispered between each stroke. Turning you on, even more, you upped the setting on the toy, matching his speed. You moaned a little louder than before as this speed on the rose shocked you. You felt a small warm feeling in your stomach, getting closer to your climax, you had to slow it down. 

“Shit!” You said trying not to come too quickly. You remove the toy away from you a bit, taking a second to catch your breath. He stopped his movements as well. “What? Can’t keep up, baby?” He says as he smirks at you trying to meet up with him. Roman knew exactly what he was doing. 

Roman positioned the camera closer to him, the light from the lamp on the stand showcased his full bottom half. His soft brown, tattooed skin illuminated in the dark. He looked so heavenly in the light. He pulled his pants all the way down and lifted up his shirt a bit showing his stomach. Roman continued on to stroking himself again and instead of spitting on his hand as he did before, he spat directly on his tip. But first try wasn’t enough to cover, so he did it once again, but this time he spat on it with less aggression. Allowing the saliva to slowly, drip from his mouth all the way down to his thick veiny dick  Doing so he without breaking any form of contact. 

“Mmmhhmm” he moaned as he watched the substance cover every inch of his penis. The slushy noises from his strokes echoed in his tour bus. Roman began to grind against his strokes, his hips bucking in the air with every moment. He began to close his eyes picturing himself fucking into you on the bed. 

You couldn’t help yourself but to place the rose toy back onto your clit following suit and matching his strokes. Fuck this was so hot you thought to yourself. Watching himself masutrabte in front of you was so sexy.

Once again, feeling yourself reaching your edge, you wanted to wait once more, edging yourself, but this time Roman wasn’t feeling it. “No, babygirl keep goin’,” he said as he saw you repeatedly move the toy way to catch yourself. 

“Keep it on there, I wanna watch you cum for me” He says as he strokes his dick even faster, reaching his own climax. You placed rose right back on your clit and began to grind against it, nearly seconds away from reaching your big ‘O’. 

“Are you gonna cum for me, baby?” Roman says in a heated breath. “Yes, Daddy.” You replied shakingly as you felt yourself release.

“Ooooooooouu shittt!!” You screamed out. Your fluids dripping all over your folds and making a giant wet spot on your bed. 

“Attagirl” Roman says in between moans.

Your legs began to shake as you watch Roman grinding into the air. You rolled your eyes back picturing him on top of you pounding your pussy into smithereens. God, that felt amazing, but it wasn’t over yet. 

“Fuckkkkkk!!!” You heard from the other side of the screen. You watched as Roman stood up from his chair jacked his dick right in from the camera making sure you are not missing anything. 

You tried to look away for a brief moment because you were getting yourself riled up again but he immediately took notice. “Uhn Uhn Look at me.” He says to you as he nears his climax. The sounds of his precum mixed with his personal lube gathered around his dick as he strokes it up and down, repeatedly fills the quietness in your bedroom. You continued to look directly at him as you feel the heartbeat in your pussy beginning to fasten. Roman pulled his phone closer to him to where his dick was practically touching the screen. 

“You want this nut baby?” He says breathlessly. “Yes.” You instantly replied to him. 

“Yea?” He says before releasing.”Shitt!!” He screamed out as he ropes of creamy white substance exploded everywhere. His dick pulsated with every drip of cum released from his dick. “Awwww fuckkkkkk” he moaned deeply. Roman, breathing heavily looked down at to his crotch era at the mess he made.

“Damn baby, look at what you did.” He said through a cheeky grin, showing his pearly whites. You watched him cum before, and every time it it’s a different experience. It was something so satisfying, watching him release himself in front of you and then looking back at the damage that he’d caused. 

You giggles at his response and then started to get up to put your little flower gadget away. Roman picked up a paper towel nearby and cleaned up his own mess quickly as he looked at the time. “Damn, it’s already midnight.” He said sliding back on his pants and sitting right back into his chair. 

“Alright baby, I know you have to go..” you began to trail off, not wanting to keep him.

 “No it’s ok baby, we can chat for a little longer, I don’t think anyone is coming in for a while.” He responded shortly after.

“Are you sure? ” 

“Yes, now tell me, how was your day?” He asked with the biggest grin.

“Well, it was great.”

[turtle-bun]

“This iteration of the Turtles and this iteration of the Turtles wouldn’t get along cuz of this!” “These two iterations wouldn’t get along because of that!”

FUCK YOU THEY ARE ALL BEST FRIENDS THAT SUPPORT EACH OTHER CUZ I SAY SO!!

(Please note I wrote this BEFORE watching Mutant Mayhem which is why they aren’t in it. I just forgot to post it lol 😅)

Rise!Leo: You all are so stern and serious. I feel like I should start being more stern and serious. Should I?

BatmanVs!Leo: Please don’t, it’ll be hell on your already waning mental health. /hj

Bayverse!Leo: I feel we need at least one funny Leo to break up the collective seriousness of the rest of us.

87 Leo: I thought me and my brothers counted as the “funny” version of all of us?

12 Leo: You guys are more of a “silly” version of us…sillier? Like the concept of turtles being ninjas is already silly as it is. Which there is nothing wrong with that, just that your cartoon logic is just very hard to keep up with sometimes.

87 Leo: That’s understandable.

Mirage Leo: I’m just jealous that you all get to be in color. Black and white gets so boring once you learn there’s color!

07 Leo: But your universe does have this cool graphic design to it that I’M very jealous of.

03 Leo: Of course, you fucking would be you dramatic edgelord. /j

07 Leo: I know the fucking EMO of the group did not just call me an edgelord! /j

Rise!Leo: Omg we love an E-girl!

12 Leo: *wheeze of laughter*

---

87 Raph: I just don’t think it’s fair that you guys get to be tall, is all! It’s discrimination! /hj

12 Raph: Practically working against your own kind! /j

Rise!Raph: *snorts* I don’t think that’s a bodily function we can control you guys!

Bayverse!Raph: It was a conscious decision on my end.

Rise!Raph: *chokes with laughter*

87 Raph: You goddamn bastard! /j

Bayverse!Raph: Cope and seeth my dude.

07 Raph: Now look, 87 I know it’s very difficult, especially for you, but we gotta be the bigger person here.

87 Raph: I will kick your goddamn ass, kid!

03 Raph: Well, good for you in being the bigger person. I will continue to be small and petty my entire life!

*Collective snorting laughter from all Raphs*

87 Raph: No, no, wait! You are not allowed to be funnier than me!

03 Raph: Tough break, shorty, I have to have SOMETHING other than punching shit.

87 Raph: Take up knitting! I don’t care! Just keep away from my bit! That’s like my entire personality! /hj

03 Raph: See you joke about that but I am fucking GREAT at knitting!

Bayverse!Raph: Amen to that! I ain’t spend half my damn life in the Hashi and NOT be able to knit a fucking epic scarf!

---

07 Donnie: Are you saying I worked a 9 to 5 job FOR NOTHING!

BatmanVs!Donnie: I honestly did not think that embezzling funds from rich corporate assholes plus the Shredder and his Foot Clan was an actual option we had!

12 Donnie: I am actually so mad that I did not think of that!

Rise!Donnie: Honestly, I didn’t think of it until like a few years back because our dad is still, somehow, getting royalties from his Lou Jitsu movie days. But I also have expensive taste in equipment and needed a little pocket change.

03 Donnie: I could have actually bought a Play Station when it came out instead of having to fix up the broken one Mikey found in the dump!

87 Donnie: I’m just now realizing how much stuff we had to make from scratch just because we couldn’t afford it.

Rise!Donnie: That’s true. But like also you guys still made a bunch of cool stuff with JUST junk you found! That’s amazing!

Bayverse!Donnie: Thanks but we could have made even cooler stuff if we had your type of funding. I mean, look at this shit! *excitingly pointing at Rise!Donnie’s battle shell*

Rise!Donnie: Please understand that YOU have made holo-screen, intercom, wrist watches, that connect to your motherboard home computer. All of which you MADE WITH JUNK! How is that not amazing?!

07 Donnie: Amazing for you probably. But if I were to do that shit myself I wouldn’t sleep for a week!

BatmanVs!Donnie: I second that! One sugar daddy please!

Rise!Donnie: *wheeze of laughter*

---

03 Mikey: I still can't believe you met freaking BATMAN! Like holy shit dude!

12 Mikey: *sobbing* I’m so jealous! I’m forever jealous!

BatmanVs!Mikey: Yeah, it was pretty cool. But YOU (03 Mikey) met the entire Justice Force! And became a member! Your legacy was so awesome Silver Sentry’s grandson took up your name!

03 Mikey: Yeah but you road in the BATMOBILE and got to press all the buttons!

Bayverse!Mikey: *sulking on the floor* LIFE ISN’T FAIR AND I HATE IT HERE!

Rise!Mikey: *pouting* I never get to meet my heroes! And when I do they turn out to be insane!

12 Mikey: Bro same! Chris Brandford was just a giant jerk!

87 Mikey: Bugman was pretty cool, though maybe a little weird. Still, he was no Justice Force or Batman!

07 Mikey: *whining* I just want the life you have! Why does god ALWAYS have favorites?!

Ronin!Mikey: *dramatic sigh of jealousy* He truly does.

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: offensive jokes (a joke about someone who is no longer alive), swearing, suggestive, milfs, (also this is shorter than the usual)

Desc: not really a description but i forgot that Chifuyu is like super rude sometimes so i'ma amp that up to 50 (this is completely irrelevant to the chapter, my bad)

Smiley: Chifuyu c'mon dude i didn't mean to

Chifuyu: literally never come to my house again

Smiley: but it was an accident😐

Chifuyu: you almost drowned Peke J in a washing machine Smiley! how is that a fucking accident

Draken: lmao

Draken: wait no is the cat okay?

Chifuyu: lmao????

Chifuyu: this is 'lmao' to you, Draken??

Draken: that's my bad dude

Mikey: LMAO

Mitsuya: has anyone heard of the term direct message

Chifuyu: Mitsuya-kun i'm not in the mood rn

Mitsuya: yeah neither am i, message each other privately jesus fucking christ

Smiley: nah y'all gotta listen to my side of the story

Smiley: ayt so i'm helping Matsuno-san out around the house right?

Smiley: and lemme tell you

Smiley: it's easy to get distracted around her yk

Takemitchy: yeah actually

Chifuyu: what does that mean?

Takemitchy: um

Takemitchy: nothing bro 😅

Chifuyu: Smiley

Smiley: she's a milf

Smiley: i'd be down to smash fr she's hot as hell

Angry: what's hot as hell is the seat reserved for you in hell😠

Angry: don't say that about our friends mom

Smiley: Baji's mom too but like i'm actually scared of her and she looks exactly like him so it'd be weird

Angry: you're not listening!

Draken: you don't have any shame at all?

Smiley: none whatsoever

Mikey: if someone called my mom a milf i'd kill myself

Chifuyu: isn't she dead

Chifuyu: guess she turned the tables

Chifuyu: cause she's the angel now

Chifuyu: not you

Chifuyu: do you get it 😐

Mikey: ...😧

Mikey: BRO??????

Mitsuya: uncalled for

Hakkai: he's giggling actually

Draken: why was that necessary 💀

Kazutora: i think it's about time Mikey gets rationed

Hakkai: *ratioed

Kazutora: yeah since this time he brought this up on himself, even i don't go up to Chifuyu when he's in a bad mood

Kazutora: he said i have pupils like goats

Kazutora: idek what that means

Kazutora: so essentially it's his fault

Kazutora: get it?

Kazutora: cause it's Mikey's fault 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Draken: ...

Mitsuya: ...

Hakkai: ....

Baji: ....

Kazutora: too soon?

Kazutora: ayt

Kazutora: my apologies 👉👈

Chifuyu: i'm sorry i'm a little agitated rn

Smiley: anyway 😁

Smiley: Peke J blends in with your mom's fake fur coat idk what else to tell you

Chifuyu: HE IS A LIVE ANIMAL YOU MOTHERFUCKER

Smiley: be careful what you call me son😋

Chifuyu: Smiley

Smiley: ig your fucking cat was sleeping cause i didn't see no live cat

Smiley: and chill out, your negatives vibes are ruining my sunny aura 😁

Baji: what's this about Peke J almost dying

Baji: i will not only kill the person responsible but also myself

Baji: don't fucking do this to me i am hanging on by a thread

Mikey: schools really kicking your ass huh

Mikey: get a tutor

Baji: they all leave

Smiley: that is so fucking funny, holy shit

Angry: SMILEY 😡

Hakkai: Angry do you genuinely think using a different 'angry' emoji colour is gonna have indifferent effect?

Hakkai: c'mon now 😕

Baji: i'ma beat the shit out of you

Baji: Chifuyu let's tag team him

Kazutora: he's crying

Baji: understandable

Smiley: y'all try and catch me fr😁👊