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catherinnn · 2 years

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Three is a crowd

You and Eddie were secretly dating, but the thing about keeping it a secret for so long, is that if one of Eddie's friends finds himself crushing on you too, they'd want to tell you eventually, to see if you'd want to be with them too... or ...the one where Gareth likes Eddie's secret girlfriend.

Eddie Munson x fem!reader (with mentions of Gareth x reader)

warnings: implied sex but no smut, both angst and fluff, cursing, alcohol consumption, a little bit of insecure!Eddie at the end but she quickly makes him feel better, so much drama bc I am dramatic.

3.5 k words.

a/n: tumblr isn't showing my fics :'(((((

Eddie and you started dating a month ago. You didn't tell anyone yet because you were still on testing waters. Since you two had been very good friends before, you hung out with Eddie’s friend group a lot, not just with the guys in corroded coffin, but also hellfire, and you and Eddie hang out with your friend group, also known as Steve and Robin. You didn't tell anyone yet mostly because you didn't even know how serious your relationship was getting. You preferred to date for a while and see how it turns out, that way, if it doesn't work, you can just move on as always and it wouldn't be awkward since no one would be able to make it awkward, because they would never know something happened between you two.

Tonight, you were going to Eddie’s house for a movie night. When you got there, the guys from corroded coffin were still there too, they had been discussing some things about the upcoming shows they were doing at the hideout.

"Oh, hi guys" you greeted and they all greeted back with a hand-wave.

"Hey Y/n" Gareth also said.

"We were just finishing here, and then we can start a movie and order some pizza" Eddie told you. "Go on and pick one while we finish with the last details of the show"

You grabbed some of the movies that were next to the TV and sat on the couch next to Gareth, since it was the only one available.

"Oh, that's a great movie, have you seen it?" he asked you.

"Yeah, we saw it the last time we had movie night" you signalled between you and Eddie. "It's good but I prefer back to the future"

"Oh, yeah, I liked that one too, especially the part where Marty-"

"Gareth, are you even listening?" Jeff interrupted him.

"Sorry, yeah"

"Do you agree?" Eddie asked him.

"Umm, I mean..." he started.

"See? You weren't listening" Eddie smiled at himself for catching him. "Princess, stop distracting him or I'm gonna have to seat you somewhere else"

You only laughed and kept watching the options of movies for tonight.

"Alright, what were you saying?" Gareth said more seriously this time.

Eddie flirted with you in front of the guys often, even before you started dating. But only now, you complained about it when you were alone, fearing that they would start to get suspicious. But he didn't listen.

Like a few days later, at Dustin’s birthday party. Steve had brought some beer for the older friends of Dustin, obviously. The thing is, him along with your boyfriend drank more than they should.

You were talking with Robin and Max when Gareth came up to you.

"You want another beer?" he asked you.

"Oh, no thanks, I still have some left here" you lifted your cup.

"I could have some more" Robin told him.

"Oh um... OK" he wanted to share the bottle with you, but, guess it would be weird if offered you but refused to share with Robin. "So, um, Y/n, do you have any plans this weekend?"

"Yeah, we have Eddie's birthday, remember?" you said confused since Gareth was invited too. He couldn't have forgotten, right?

"Oh, yeah right! It just... slipped my mind for a second there"

Eddie and Dustin had almost freaked out when they found out their birthdays were a week away from each other's. And they promised that when Dustin turns an appropriate age, they would throw a party together.

"Do you have a present yet?" he asked again.

"Yeah, I got him another leather jacket, since the one he has now isn't fitting him anymore, and I bought him a cassette of a Black Sabbath album he didn't have"

"Oh, he's gonna love it! You're great at presents, I didn’t know that"

"No, I just think it’s because I know him enough to know what he likes"

"I'll make sure to get to know you enough so I can get you a good present too" he tried to be smooth, he really did, but he forgot a little detail.

"My birthday is in like... 8 months at least!" you laughed.

"Well- m-more time to get to know you then!"

"You already do" you didn't know why he was acting this weird, maybe he had had a little much to drink too.

And speaking of drinking a little much...

"Y/n!!!!"

You turned around at the scream of your name and you saw your boyfriend.

"Y/n, hiiiiii" He said coming closer to you while he tried to grab you by your waist. You moved his hands before he could though.

"Hey, Eds"

"Steve!!! Come here!!! Y/n's here!!!" he shouted.

"Heeeeyyy" a very drunk Steve showed up.

"Hi, Steve"

"She's so pretty" Eddie said hugging you. You tried go act surprised so it wouldn't be so suspicious.

"Well, aren't you drunk?" you joked.

"Maybe, but you’re still pretty"

"You know who's pretty?" Steve said. "Dustin is such a cute little guy!!! And he's getting so big, it's his birthday today!!!"

"That's true!!!! Let’s go get him!!!"

Thankfully, Eddie and Steve went running to Dustin before he could say anything else.

But still, later that night, when it was time for us to leave, Eddie was still flirty and tipsy.

"Eddie, you're not gonna drive like that" Jeff stopped him.

"I'm fiiineee"

"You can't even walk straight" his friend took the car keys from his hands before he could reach the van. "I'll drive you tonight, you can come and pick the van up tomorrow"

"But I told Max I was gonna take her home" Eddie complained. "And Y/n too"

"I'll drive them too, don't worry, I already have to take Gareth home, so it's no problem" Jeff said.

"No, Jeff, it's fine, I'll stay over at Eddie's tonight, someone should help him or otherwise, he's gonna end up sleeping on the floor and Wayne will be pissed" you offered.

You all got into Jeff's car. Max had called shotgun before we could even reach the car, so Eddie, you, and Gareth ended up in the back.

"You sure you don't want me to drive you home Y/n, it's really no problem" Jeff offered.

"It's fine really, I've already stayed over at his house a million times, so don't worry" you said.

Eddie laughed "Y/n's gonna sleep with me"

You looked at him weirdly and changed the subject before he would say anything else.

Until you got home, Eddie had already fallen asleep on your shoulder, you were talking with Gareth when Jeff announced that you had reached your destination.

Jeff accompanied Max to her door while Gareth and you woke Eddie up and took his hand to take him inside.

"You're gonna be alright?" Gareth asked you.

"Yeah, don't worry, once he sees the bed, he will be done for the night" You assured him.

"Alright, but if he gets too much just call me and I'll come help you"

"OK, thanks Gareth, and thank you Jeff for driving us!"

They said their goodbyes and went home.

"Alright, now, let's get you to bed" you said to Eddie.

"You gonna come with me, pretty girl?"

"Yes, honey"

"Alright, but don't tell anyone" Eddie whispered. "It's a secret"

"Alright" you whispered back and took him to his room.

He tried to throw himself into the bed but you stopped him.

"Eddie, you have to change first! You're gonna be uncomfortable in your jeans"

"Can I just take them off?"

"Sure, yeah"

He wiggled out of his jeans and proceeded to take his shirt off too. OK, just boxers it is then.

He laid on the bed but with his head slightly up, looking at your every move.

"Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?"

"You already know you can, I'd prefer you naked, but do what you want"

"Thanks, Eds" you laughed and started to strip, since you're already dating and you trust him more than anyone, you didn't have to change in the bathroom. To this, Eddie stayed looking at you, he really thought he was being discreet, but it was the most he could do being drunk as he was, because in reality, he was staring with big doe eyes and his mouth slightly opened, as if he was in an awe.

"Don't drool" you joked once you finished and got into bed with him.

"Sorry" he whispered and then grabbed you by your waist to pull you closer.

You laid your head on his shoulder and his arms stayed at your waist hugging you. You fell asleep in his arms.

Once you woke up, you were obviously not in the same position, now on your side with his arms still wrapped around you.

You stayed like that for a while, until Eddie woke up too, a few minutes after.

He groaned and his hands went to rub his eyes.

"Hey, pretty boy" you whispered once you turned around to face him.

"Hi" he simply said before hugging you once again, cuddling and getting ready to sleep some more.

"Eds, we should get up already, we slept all morning"

"Let's sleep all day"

"If you get up and go take a shower, I'll join you" you offered and obviously, he got up immediately after you said that.

Once you got out of the shower with shaky legs and hickeys all over your cleavage, you started making breakfast, more like lunch since it was already noon, and you were both starving.

______

The night before Eddie's birthday, you went to his trailer to spend the night with him. You knocked on the door and your boyfriend opened up. You kissed him, already getting excited because in a matter of hours he will turn 20.

You heard a cough behind you two. You didn't realize Wayne was there too, of course he already knew about you two, it would have been impossible not to, giving that he lives with Eddie and he sees you at the trailer all the time, cuddling on the couch, sleeping over in the same bed, and all of those things. Your surprise of seeing him here was because he usually worked at night, but he had stayed tonight in particular to be with Eddie on his birthday, he changed shifts with one of his co-workers just for tonight.

"Hi Wayne, sorry I didn't see you" you greeted him.

"It's fine kid, It's good to see you"

"Yeah, you too"

"We were just about to have dinner, have you eaten yet?" he asked you while he stirred something in a pot.

"No, I haven't"

"Good, hope you like pasta"

"I love it"

You sat next to Eds and had dinner all three of you. At first you thought you were maybe interrupting a family moment between them, but Eddie had called you and invited you to come over.

The truth was, Eddie felt so happy at that moment, dinning with his uncle and girlfriend, because you hadn't really talked about you two yet, but he felt like you were one of the most important people in his life at the moment, and he really wished you would stay in that position for a long long time.

When the clock struck 12 am, Wayne hugged Eddie tightly and you showered him with kisses. After some minutes, his uncle said goodbye so he could go to sleep since he was very tired already. You stayed with your boyfriend, both cuddling in the couch, you were laid stomach up with Eddie lying next to--almost on top of--you, his head on your chest using your breasts as pillows. You were both chatting, you would give random kisses on his face sometimes while playing with his hair, you both felt so safe, so comfortable.

"I wanna stay like this forever" He admitted.

"Me too"

He lifted his head slightly so he could look at you. He wanted to say something, you could tell.

"What?" you asked. But he shook his head, brushing it off. "Come on, tell me"

He stayed in silence for what felt like eternity but in reality must have been a few seconds.

"I wanna tell everyone" he simply said. "Want you to be mine, officially"

"I'd like that" you smiled.

He sat up straight. "Really?"

"Yeah" you laughed and sat up with him. "I'd really really like that"

He kissed you sweetly, smiles on both of your faces. It almost felt overwhelming, but in a good way, it was hard to explain. Or maybe it wasn’t really, but you didn’t even want to think of the four-letter word that came to mind. Maybe it was too soon, you didn’t feel scared about the feeling per say, more of how he would react to it, to you feeling it.

The next day was spent tidying Eddie’s place up, decorating a bit with some balloons and stuff—you also spent some time ‘celebrating’ his birthday, showing the birthday boy how much you appreciate him, as one does.

That night, after all the boys from hellfire, along with Steve, Robin, Max, etc. arrived, everyone started eating, drinking—if they were the appropriate age to do so because Steve wouldn’t have let them otherwise—and just hanging out, having fun.

You were laughing at something that Dustin was arguing about with Steve and Eddie, what you didn’t realize was that you had an audience.

“Go on, talk to her” Jeff said to a rather nervous Gareth.

“She’s already there with them, I don’t wanna be so obvious”

“Oh, come on, you’re dying to tell her, go on man! Tonight is the night”

“Yeah, I know, I wanna tell her tonight but... let me wait a little more, I’ll talk to her in a while”

“Stop postponing it, you did the same in Dustin’s birthday and by the end of the night, you hadn’t told her anything” Jeff insisted. “Who knows? Maybe tonight you’d be the one who takes her home”

“Yeah, right” he brushed it off, but in his head, a little part of him was hoping for that to be true.

After some more convincing from Jeff, Gareth finally got up from the couch and approached you.

“Y/n? Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure, Gareth, what’s up?” you said and walked with him a little further from everyone else.

“Um… There’s- there’s something I’ve been trying to tell you for a while, but, I guess I’m tired of postponing it or trying to throw hints at you, and I should just… say it”

“Y-yeah, tell me” you got serious because of how nervous he looked. To be honest, a little suspicion of what he was going to say came up to your mind—but no, it couldn’t be that.

You could hear everyone in the living room from the trailer, maybe someone did something funny or Eddie was calling everyone for the cake. You didn’t pay it any mind, just stayed focused on Gareth rambling trying to find the right words, but you thought again—no, it wasn’t that.

“Y/n, I- I’ve- have”

“Everyone! Come here!” you could hear from the living room, but you both ignored it.

Gareth took a deep breath. “I like you Y/n”

You stayed there, looking at him.

“Y-Y/n?”

“You- what?”

“I like you, more than just like, I’m- really into you”

“Y/n, there you are! Come here” Eddie appeared and spoke before you could. He took your hand and took you to the living room where the cake was in the middle on the table, with everyone around it, paying attention to Eddie next to you. Gareth sighed and walked over to where everyone was, at the other extreme of the table where you and Eddie where, but he wasn’t looking at the birthday boy like the others, he was looking at you.

You were still in shock, not really paying attention to everyone singing Happy Birthday, nor to Eddie blowing the candles, you were just thinking—what. the. fuck.

You snapped out of it when you heard everyone clapping and you joined in slowly.

“Thanks guys, but um, before we cut the cake I wanted to tell you all something very important to me,” he looked at you “Y/n and I... we’re dating, we have been for a while but we wanted to make sure it was serious before we made a big deal about it. But we have been dating for over a month now, and we decided it was serious enough to tell you, finally”

“Oh my god!” Robin was the first one to react, before you even could.

“I fucking knew it!” Dustin shouted.

“Oh yeah, ‘cause you always know everything” Steve fought.

You stopped listening, everyone started talking all at once.

“Hey” Eddie whispered in your ear. “You OK?”

You saw his face of concern, forgot about everyone else there, Dustin’s and Steve’s shouts, Gareth’s confession, everything.

You smiled at him and kissed him.

‘Cause it was him, it had always been him, and you hoped that it would keep being him forever.

“I have to talk to you later” you whispered to him, lips still on top of his. “But I’m fine” you kissed his cheek. “God, I like you so much”

You parted, still looking at him smiling, his face now with a big smile thanks to your words, you winked at him and then proceeded to cut the cake so everyone could grab a slice.

“You never told me! I can’t believe it yet” Robin told you once you finished with the cake and everyone’s attention stopped being on you.

“I know but, we really wanted to see where it was going before we told everyone”

“He’ll treat you right, I’m happy for you guys” Steve stepped in.

Before you could respond him, you spotted from the window at Gareth being outside.

“Sorry, I’ll come to talk to you later, I have to do something first”

You went outside after him, and saw Jeff with Eddie and Gareth.

You walked closer to them.

But what you didn’t know was that Eddie had asked Gareth what happened when he saw his friend standing there with a serious face. Gareth just looked at him with regretful eyes. Thankfully, Jeff stepped in for him and explained to Eddie what happened a few seconds before he announced the big news.

“Seriously?” you heard Eddie ask.

“I’m sorry-“ Gareth started but then he saw you standing behind them.

They all turned around to look at you.

“I should… give you some privacy” Jeff excused himself and walked back inside.

There were a few seconds of silence, Eddie looking at Gareth and then at you, you looking at Gareth, and him at the ground.

“You- you like her?” Eddie asked again, still confused and in shock.

“I’m sorry man, I really didn’t know you were together”

“You don’t have to apologize” you assured him. “I’m- I am really sorry about this, and that you had to find out this way after you told me”

“You told her?” Eddie spoke again. “You- you told her… you-“

He realised what that meant, Gareth was just telling you because he wanted to know if he had chance to be with you.

“Eddie, I’m really sorry, I promise, if I knew about you two I wouldn’t have tried anything with her” Gareth assured him now.

“You-“ Eddie took a breath and ran his fingers through his hair, he turned to you this time, talking to you now. “You? What happens now?” you could hear his voice crack, he just got nervous. “What- what do you want now?”

“Are you asking me which one I want?” you asked him incredulously. “Eddie I- Gareth, can I talk to him for a second?”

Gareth nodded and went back inside, thanking you in his head for telling him to go away, he had an idea of what you were about to say, and he didn’t want to witness it.

“Eddie, I should have told you sooner, I should have told you when I first realized. I’m in love with you, you idiot”

He sighed again and immediately hugged you.

“Fuck, I got so scared there for a second”

“I don’t even know why” you laughed.

“Shhhhhh” he said before kissing you.

You stayed there, kissing, losing yourselves in each other.

“I love you too by the way” he said and pecked your lips. “Really, really love you so much”

After that—and a few kisses more—you went back inside.

You talked to Gareth properly, without making him nervous or uncomfortable. You had to tell him tough, you loved Eddie, and apologised for everything you made him go through tonight. He obviously said he understood and apologised to you too and later to Eddie.

After that night, every time you and Eddie were around Gareth you tried to be more subtle so you wouldn’t make anyone uncomfortable. And eventually, that awkward story between the three of you, became a funny story, something the guys would make jokes about, once they knew Gareth was over it.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson #gareth x reader #eddie munson angst #steve harrington x reader

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lunarifie · 1 year

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Hi can we remember that characters are Multi-faceted

Rant based on the atsv fandom. I promise I’m not seething. This is very dramatized and my mood will change the next day. Don’t take this seriously.

Edit: I was right, its been 5 minutes and the agony is over. I have found fun funny people.

(VERY minor spoilers. More under cut)

- I am soooo disappointed in the early fandom of spider-verse right now. Maybe its because Ive been hanging around Tiktok when I really shouldnt, because its MOSTLY them with the bad takes but WHY are they SO bad.

- Im just going to start with the controversy with Gwen. Because thats happening for some reason.

- All over tiktok people are treating her as irredeemable and undeserving of Miles, as if she hadn’t gone out of her way to see him even though she wasnt allowed to. Even though the writers gave her a conflict with her father that was supposed to pull the audiences heart strings.

- Its as if people can’t see characters as anything more than one-dimensional. I appreciated every character in spider-verse because they were all so multi-faceted with their own flaws, positives, and motives.

- It just irks me to see people put down Gwen simply because she was slightly stand-offish with Miles. She had so much going on and it made SENSE for her to not want to risk everything she was given. The gift of traveling dimensions, of being safe from her father and to make friends that understand.

- Branching from Gwen, MIGUEL. I love him, he’s great, his backstory is so unique and explains his motive and character perfectly. Again, he’s multi-faceted, and I appreciate that SO much.

- But why is every fanart on tiktok I see JUST him and how hot he is. I understand, hes hot, and thats fine! Its also great because it gives fans something to talk about other than spoilers. But its the ONLY thing I see. Gwen was practically the second main character other than Miles in this movie. We were introduced to her conflict and then her resolution.

- Why not talk about Peter B. and how he must be feeling with Miles in danger?

- Why is Miguels hotness talked and drawn more than that, more than the PLOT. On tiktok AND tumblr. And I can bet that if I check instagram it’d be the same.

- Secondly, the love triangle. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that there was relief at how there was no true love triangle. The spiderverse characters did so well in making romance a component but not the main focus. So why are some fans trying to FORCE a love triangle?

- Examples are: People hating on Gwen, saying she was playing with Mile’s heart by fooling around with Hobie.

- People saying Miles had 100 times more chemistry with Morgo/spider-byte than he ever did with Gwen.

- I love ships, im very big on the fact that people can ship whoever they like as long as its not incest or pedophilia. Im not even the biggest Miles x Gwen shipper. But putting down ANOTHER ship just doesnt sit right with me, especially since its false? The writers are amazing, and they DID amazing at giving Miles and Gwen cute subtle chemistry. All these ship wars just seem like another play at hating Gwen.

- Spiderverse is amazing, and I love that the first movie was a great hit. But it was praised for its story-telling, art, and worldbuilding. The second movie just, isn’t, and I wish it was. Of course, with show and movie fandoms expanding, theres gonna be toxicity introduced. Like this one person who was revulsed by the idea of Gwen being trans, even with her trans pin on her backpack, her protect trans kid flag, and her signature colors.

- Its expected, I just wish it wasn’t.

- Maybe im just on the wrong side of social media, maybe I should wait until I can wedge my way into a spider-verse sub-community fandom I wanna see. Or maybe I just have to wait until this all blows over and then the fandom will revert to character and plot loving. Who knows.

- Im usually not the type of person to be hung over something like this, and I truly don’t think this beginning view of the movie will stick. I promise I don’t hate when people have fun in fandoms.

- Thoughts just needed to be put down and perhaps heard. Soooo if you read all of this, congrats! You have been hit with my very temporary negativity. Don’t let it drag you down! Enjoy the good parts of the fandom as I try to wiggle into those sections!

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justsomerandomfanfic · 1 year

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Hii, I hope you are well! I am pretty new/ back to tumblr and just stumbled upon your blog which I really like! I was looking for rules for/ info about matchups and couldn’t find any (unless I’m stupid). So, uh, if you don’t mind and if you feel up to it, may I ask for a ‘Stranger Things’ matchup, please? If not, that’s completely fine 💛 feel free to ignore my ask in that case!

I am a straight female. As for my personality , I’m generally very friendly and caring. If I like/ love someone I will do everything in my power to make them happy and try to make sure they stay happy. My friends aways tell me I’m pretty likeable and extremely loyal and funny - even though my humour is very dry and sarcastic sometimes. Despite me only talking if I feel like I have something worth of saying, I’m usually somehow the one that keeps the conversations flowing in my friend group. My calm and quiet demeanour sometimes makes people think I’m arrogant but I also often heard that people thought of me as very approachable. I feel very confident in my abilities and character but there is one thing that can make me feel insecure in new situations or with strangers: I have a hearing disability which gave me some not so nice experiences with other people. This also tends to make some of my friends feel rather protective of me, especially because I’m generally very forgiving and hate arguments. Although I come across as a nice and patient person some people think they can treat rudely, you better not mess with me. I have often heard that people prefer to not get on my wrong side and that I can be scary. Sometimes I have problems showing affection towards others even though I really do care about them. I can also be pretty stubborn.. In my free time I love to read, learn different languages and take long walks, work out and meet friends. I’m a coffee addict and love cooking as well. What I don’t like is rude and stand-offish people. I really hate when people make mean comments and think it’s funny to joke about other people’s appearances or interests.

Hey! Thank you so much for liking my stuff! I am excited about this matchup for you! I hope you enjoy it!!! Thank you for requesting! <3333

Stranger Things;

Steve Harrington:

😎 You were in high school with Steve, sharing a few classes with him, and once Steve even asked for your help in Spanish

😎 When Steve first spoke to you, he was a bit intimidated by you, since you were pretty quiet and calm, and hardly spoke, but after speaking to you and asking for your help in class, he realized that you were actually really nice and caring

😎 Ever since then, you and Steve began to grow closer to one another, even though he was a bit of a jerk and was dating Nancy, you thought he was cute

😎 After they broke up, however, you were the first person Steve told, and you tried to reassure him and help him as much as possible; you were thankful for how much Steve changed afterward, (you even took him out to KFC to cheer him up)

😎 He lost his bad boy persona, acted a bit differently, and even started babysitting, which you thought was sweet; you sometimes joined him, meeting the kids

😎 You accidentally got caught up in the Upside Down, literally, you were trapped there for a while, but when you got out, Steve couldn't have been happier; he ran up to you once you were found, wrapping his arms around you as he ranted to you about how worried he was, he was glad that you were safe

😎 After surviving the first wave of the Upside Down, you and Steve hung out almost every day, you were joined by the hip basically, and Steve would even join you and your friends out and about; sometimes when it's just the two of you, you'd go on long walks down the sidewalk at sunset, or Steve would join you while you cook

😎 Back at school, Steve would come over to bring you a coffee, sometimes staying to keep you company if you needed it/wanted it; on one particular day, similar that this one, Steve would confess to you

😎 Steve thought you are wonderful, he loves your love for reading and how loyal and funny you are; Steve couldn't help but fall for you, you are one of a kind

😎 The two are you are the best couple, always patient and understanding with each other, you never had any arguments, always making sure you communicated and talked things out; you both are perfect for each other

#matchup #matchups #requests open #anon request #requested #requests #request #open requests #requests are open #fandom #stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x female reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #cute #fluff

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subtle-edge-of-rot · 2 years

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Sorry I have been busy with school and work, but yes, workguy came through <3

We haven't established anything big and we are still a little awkward, but I have a lot more confidence with this outcome than at the beginning of the work season. He wants to hang out when we get laid off for the winter and said it would work out more because then neither of us really have school or work. He and I were going to go and see Peepaw, but unfortunately, he was out of town today and idk if we can go after halloween since I am going out of town Thursday-Sunday. I do plan on asking and seeing if he wants to maybe go to a haunted house with me after he gets out of work on halloween though!

He has been very sweet to me though and he shows me tons of memes and I love it lmao. Plus he has interests in the music I like and if the interest was real, I might have someone to go with me and see Static-x in April :)

The only slight downfall is he might be moving next year about 4ish hours away for family matters. Which is chill because I feel like our connection is a LOT stronger so I think the distance would be alright. Plus the school I wanna transfer to is about an hour closer to him :) I have a couple plans and am hoping they will let him know that I am in fact interested in him because my anxiety isn't allowing me to just straight up tell him. I try to and I get super anxious and nearly send myself into a panic attack since I am worried he'll wind up like the last couple of guys I've fallen for and they rejected/ghosted me or used me. I truly don't think he would ever do anything horrible, and I truly do think he likes me back, but my anxiety is being stubborn lmao. Hopefully, it all works out. I am hoping tomorrow I can maybe pull a move

Also I have put myself on anonymous because I think he has tumblr and idk if I can handle him having my tiktok and Tumblr LMAOO Idk how he would find this, but it makes me feel better so </3

Sorry this took me fucking ages to respond to, I’ve been slacking on asks because I’m so up in my head and my feelings and it’s been a whirlwind.

I am legitimately so happy for you! I’m glad that it wasn’t a bad ending like we thought it was. I’m really glad he pulled through and that you guys are figuring things out. No need to establish things right away, just enjoy it for what it is right now, worry about the rest later 🖤 maybe you guys can watch PeePaw together on Peacock? And a haunted house would be fun!

And he likes the same music? That’s always a plus, y’all can sing in the car together and not argue about what to turn on (well, there will always be moments but still)!

Long distance is difficult but I think it’s possible to do. You guys could meet halfway on some weekends or something! I don’t think he’ll ghost you or reject you or use you, especially not if he was hung up on you enough to reach out again after silence. I don’t think it’s like that.

And omg omg work guy might have a tumblr? Shit we’ll keep your identity lowkey then when it comes to work guy updates 🖤

#payton’s asks #frenziedslashers #work guy update

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asexualinasexualworld · 2 months

Note

Have you ever been accused of being judgemental because you're ace, not over slutshaming but over not understanding how real "dating" works. I'm aro/ace and my sister once told me that myself and another asexual she knows are the most judgemental people she knows when she gets hung up on her ex's. I try to be supportive but am out of my comfort zone when it comes to this so my advice is usually to ignore him and the fight was started when she texted him after hating him all week.

okay, first of all, this Q is from years ago now and we would like to apologize for that. we haven't actually been on tumblr in a long time. OP, if ur still on here, so sorry for the extreme delay.

to answer the question tho, b/c we do think it's a good one, no, we've never been accused of being judgmental for being aro/ace, but we do absolutely understand feeling out of your depth when friends ask for relationship advice. and sometimes, even tho no one's ever called us either thing, we do worry that we must come off sounding either judgmental or else very sort of 'cold fish' in those situations, b/c our advice p much also always boils down to either 'u need to ignore ur ex til ur over them' or 'well if this bothers u this much and u aren't willing to talk ur SO about it/already did and they aren't willing to work on fixing it with u, then u just need to dump them.'

which, to be clear, we do actually think is probably technically the correct advice most of the time; relationship problems don't generally solve themselves, u do actually need to communicate w ur partner or partners and work together to solve them. and then, if the issues aren't solvable, or if ur partner/partners aren't willing to do that for whatever reason, then u really are basically just left w the question of whether the issue is a deal-breaker for u or not.

BUT, we also think that is usually probably really hard for people to hear.

we remember talking about romance movies w another ace friend of ours once and laughing about how we both felt like we just didn't understand them b/c it was just so unrelatable to us. as aro/ace folks, it just doesn't seem like it should be that hard to just... not make the choices that always got the drama going in them. like to us, it was just felt like 'is it really that hard to just not sleep w X person? or to stay away from ur ex?' and what we decided was that, while obvs movie and show characters exist specifically to make bad choices in order to facilitate story/drama, that the fact that the genre works for so many people probably means that actually yes, it must be much harder for non aro/ace folks. it must actually be a fundamentally different experience that we're just never going to fully understand.

which is fine, ofc, but it absolutely does make it hard to figure out what to say when a friend is complaining or freaking out about relationship stuff. or how to frame it in a way where it won't accidentally make them feel like u think they're an idiot for having feelings or whatever. we're still figuring it out ourself tbh, and sometimes we actually just straight up ask a friend whether they actually want advice on how to solve/deal w the situation, or whether they just need us to listen and commiserate and maybe join them in bashing their ex for a bit or something, because we can do either thing, but they are very different things for us and it helps us to know which friend-purpose we're currently serving.

so we think the TL;DR here is basically that, no we think ur probably not actually being judgmental, but we do think that since the aro/ace experience (or lack there of) of things like sexual desire and deep romantic attachment is fundamentally different from the non-aro/ace experience, it is often much easier for us to hear a friend talking about a relationship issue their having and ignore the emotional struggle of it in order to see the options for solving/dealing with it, which is probably jarring at best for the other person. like they were looking for mom-friend to listen to them and make them tea and tell them they'll be okay and instead they got dad-friend handing them a toolbox and a trouble-shooting manual. both roles are important, but it's definitely hard to do both at once lol

anyway, we hope u and ur sister managed to work it out!

#asexuality #anon #man this reply is sooo late we r so sorry #OP probably doesn't even remember anymore #but we do think this is probably a common sort of communication issue b/c every aro/ace person we know of has had a variation of this #if anyone has any good ideas for navigating this please chime in #aro/ace #aro/ace issues

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staygolddindjarin · 3 years

Text

Grief

Chapter One: History

Din Djarin x Reader x a bunch of other star wars characters

Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.

Chapter Warnings: Oof this ones kinda angsty right off the bat- ⚠️ attempted suicide?? Kinda?? Age gap (reader is underage, but don't worry it's just for the sake of backstory and also there's no spicy, so...) mentions of death and afterlife, fluff if you like squint really hard

A/n: hello there... I'm sorry to inflict tumblr with this atrocity, but wattpad had to deal with it so tumblr can too. I wrote a different version of this on my wp with an OC name, but I know that not everyone cares for that so this won't include that. Also this series will be such a slow burn... prepare yourself ahead of time because it's going to be agonizing

Words: 6.3k+

SERIES MASTERLIST UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Part 1/?

"Pehea gar mar'eyir ni...."

How did you find me....

He came and sat beside me, the sound of metal scraping agaisnt the ground when he knelt first.

"Gar cuyir te shi solus tion'ad comes olar jii. Ni kar'taylir gar jate'shya gar mirdir Ni vaabir," He responded.

You are the only one who comes here now. I know you better than you think I do.

I heaved a deep breath before letting it out in an exhausted sigh. Speaking in my native tongue was something I always appreciated, but now sitting here it felt nearly uncomfortable, but there was a reason for that.

"I wanted to be alone," The words from my mouth were no longer in my language, and he shifted beside me, trying to convey his confusion without a word.

"Care to elaborate?" He suggested, his asking tone was harsh... but then so was everything else about him.

I didn't really feel like explaning my feelings at the moment. I didn't want to focus on the very thing he was asking about. Even though he wasn't absolutely sure of what he was asking.

"You wouldn't understand if I told you," I trailed off.

"Try me." His voice wasn't any softer, but the sincerity he rarely showed had seeped into his tone.

"I really don't think it's a good idea. You really won't understand, and for all I know you could make things worse off for me than they already are," I didn't like it when he let his guard down around me. I didn't like getting closer to him, even though I was supposed to.

"I can't force you. Whatever it is, I wouldn't get myself too worked up," He sounded hurt, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it was by my words. He was too strong to be wounded by such trivial things.

He moved in his seat, beginning to stand, and for some reason the thought of being alone like I had originally intended seemed like a horrible idea.

I reached out to grip his arm. I kept my gaze forward, knowing that even if I looked at him I could not see his eyes.

"Stay."

He didn't hesitate. He sat down again, and I no longer felt guilt for the hurt in his voice a moment prior.

We sat for a moment in silence, just looking over the cliffside, into the deep canyons that wove in between settlements and encampments of our tribes and clans.

"I don't want this life," I whispered. I had only half hoped he would be paying enough attention to hear me. My voice was soft enough that he might not have.

"What do you mean?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, regretting the choice to even say what I did. I felt a shiver go down my arms, and I felt the wind come into the old open cavern, making the air around me chill. My arms were exposed, for I didn't expect the cold tonight. I didn't expect to be here this long.

"I'll turn sixteen in four days. I will either take the creed, or deny everything I've ever been taught. I'd leave if I do that," I finally gave a glance in his direction. He looked back at me, or at least the beskar did. I could never tell where his eyes were.

"You want to leave?" That pained tone of his voice had returned. The one I felt guilty for without actually believing I had done anything to cause it.

I did. I wanted to get off this planet. Away from the responsibility of becoming what everyone expected of me.

"I have to. It's the only way I will ever be at peace, but I'm not sure if I truly have the strength to stand in front of my family and deny the creed."

I could run away. I had some friends who were planning to jump a transport and join the rebellion against the empire.

They had offered me to be apart of this, but I had refused, believing that I would follow in my ancestors footsteps and take the creed. My father had already provided the beskar for my helmet to be made. It was already in the armourer's possession. All that was left was for me to come of age.

"Where did you go, just now?" He noticed my lack of attentiveness to my current reality, and brought me back to where I was. On the drafty cliffside, with my legs hanging over the end.

"Nowhere. I was just thinking about the future," I had admitted. Though I felt the need to stay emotionally distant from him, and not let myself develop a closeness, I knew I could trust him with my life, which is why I even revealed these things to him in the first place.

"What do you think your future will look like?" The tone that brought me guilt had again left his voice, but was replaced by something else... was it fear? I could not even think of theorizing that he could ever be scared. He was one of the bravest in his clan. Never had he shown an ounce of fear to anyone or anything. How stupid of me to even wonder.

"Merc and his crew are gonna stow away on a crate transport tomorrow. He has contact with the rebellion. He said that I could go with them if I was up for it," I looked down, almost embarrassed at admitting a plan of escape to someone so loyal to this place. Even though he wasn't born on this planet, and even though he wasn't a blood member of any tribe, the foundling was more of a mandalorian than I could ever be.

"You've agreed?"

"No. Not yet," I shook my head. I didn't feel like my reasons were valid. Having him sit beside me, and ask me these things made me realize that I needed to explain myself further.

"Din, I want to be free. I don't want to spend the rest of my life under a code that is so restricting to me, binding my every decision. Everything I'd do would have to be following after the creed."

He didn't respond, and even though his features were shrouded under the reflective surface of his beskar, I could tell he was thinking of something.

"I'm not yet sixteen, but when I am... I don't want to be locked down under a piece of metal. I don't want to have to be bound to this planet or a clan. I want to go some place far away and be something that is different than what everyone expects of me. I want to fight battles against the empire, I want to make my own rules. I want to be free to marry who I love, and not be betrothed to whoever my father chooses for me," I finished off my speech about freedom, but realized the last sentence too late. I should have chosen a better set of words.

Din's head hung down, looking at the wrist guards he wore. He shook his head back and forth and before I could interject, he began speaking.

"So that's why...." he trailed off. I was honestly too scared to say anything now. Why must I speak so bluntly and hurtfully honest to people? Perhaps it is because I had never gotten close to him that now I had no fear in what I said to his face.

"If the reason you plan to leave your family is because of me, then-"

"No," I said harshly, catching him off guard. I was usually snippy with others, but I had never before shown a tendency to be angry or intense with my speech. "Believe me, this has nothing to do with you."

"You have always shown enthusiasm towards coming of age. It's only now, when we are arranged, that you show any difference," He brought on certainty in his voice that I nearly couldn't deny, but the truth was... it really wasn't about him. "I can converse with your father, the rest of the clan... I will find a way to break it off if it will make you stay."

"Din, I don't want you to do that. If you don't believe me when I tell you that you are not the cause of this, then so be it, but I will not have you ruining your good name in my favor, when it won't even stop me," The heat of the moment provided actual, physical warmth for me in the time I was running my mouth off, but now that I had finished, and begun to calm down, I felt the freezing air on my arms again, wrapping them around myself and drawing my legs closer to generate more body heat.

"Are you cold?" He changed the subject, needing something- anything else to say.

"Its not exactly warm up here," My voice was low and sarcastic, but at hearing my words, Din stood up and stepped behind me. Before I even had a chance to ask him what he was doing, I felt his thick woolen cape being draped around my shoulders.

I smiled softly, not even a real, full smile. More of just a small tug from the side of my lips. My real smile was saved for later.

"Thank you."

He nodded as he sat back down, letting his legs fall over the cliffside.

"So you're gonna leave with them, aren't you?" His head turned to face me, but I couldn't dare try and stare at the beskar while thinking of what I would do. This choice was the beginning of the rest of my life.

"I think so," I didn't think. Thinking was what I had been doing too much of. Now I was certain. This was my choice. I was going to start new, and become something different. I may have been born on mandalore, but I was definitely not a mandalorian.

I had a rush of confidence come through me until I remembered what this meant. It all hit me like a dropship coming out of hyperspace. What was I thinking?

"No," I whispered. Din didn't understand my sudden discouragement, but he would soon.

"Merc and his friends already denied the creed. He's a foundling. They all are," I started to tear up as I realized what would happen to my family. The loss of a child in a clan is bad enough, but my family hadn't done anything to dessrve this. They were caring. They had shown me love. They had given me the best life I could ask for on a planet with such a religion.

"Second thoughts?" He asked genuinely, scooting closer beside me as to maybe get more information from my body language, or even my breathing.

"I can't do this. My family would be ruined. If I ran away, they would be punished for it," I felt tears coming up in my eyes. My clan was good to me. The people were kind, and I found solace there. Even if I had always dreamt about something bigger, I couldn't bear to let ruin come upon my family name. It wasn't fair to let that happen, especially when the only thing in the way was my own selfishness. "I can't leave my family."

I let the tears stream down my face, not even bothering to wipe them away. The contrast of the cold wind on my hot, tear streaked face had helped to calm me down a little.

"If you plan on staying, you understand that I am apart of your future here, don't you?"

"Din, I already told you before... you are not the reason I want to leave," I tried my best to keep myself together, but with my wet cheeks and red, puffy eyes, I didn't see how that could be an option.

What if there was another way to freedom?

I sat, trying to think of some stories that the other clan members would talk about.

"Din?"

He hummed in response, keeping his gaze on me.

"Has anyone in your clan ever mentioned afterlife?" I maybe should have taken a different approach to this. He seemed to be rendered speechless by my topic of conversation, but I had to ask.

"You mean after death?" He asked me and I nodded.

"I've heard some stories."

I thought about how it had been described to me. A paradise, with never-ending happiness, and unlimted freedom. Freedom.

"After you die, you appear in the world as another life. You can do whatever you want and no one has consequences for any of it. It's like a world without chaos. Everything is perfect," I remember every word as it comes out of my mouth. The words that were spoken to me, more like taught to me when I was a bit younger by the elders who had retired from their days of battle.

"It sounds too easy." He said, ripping me out of my fantasy.

"That's the point. You don't have to worry about anything or anyone, because you can do as you please, and everything will still be the same. All you have to do is die...."

"Like being reborn into a different world."

"Exactly."

I hesitated to take my safety blaster from it's holster under my hip, and when I did, I looked at it before pointing it out in the distance and testing the trigger. It shot a blast of lazer energy out into the air, landing somewhere beneath us in the canyon.

I decided that this was not an act to pursue at the moment, for Din was sitting right beside me, and the sight of watching a young girl pull the trigger against her own head might be an unpleasant one. Even for him, though he has seen worse.

I put the blaster back in it's holster and stand up from the rocky ground. Din follows suit, looking down at me with quiet concern. I wouldn't have known it until now, but I wondered if he had come to care for me at all during these last few weeks we had been betrothed.

I'd known him the majority of my life anyways, so I knew he must have felt some sort of attachment to me, but in what form, I hadn't ever cared to ask.

He kept breathing heavily as he looked down at me for a few moments, and it almost sounded like he wanted to ask me something. The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the words.

"Here's your cape back," I slid the material off my shoulders, trying to hand it back to him, but he pushed it back towards me.

"You should keep it for now. The sun is nearly down, it will only grow colder."

He reached his gloved hand up to my face, and I could swear I felt the warmth of his hand beneath the coarse leather.

I only nodded, and leaned forward, trying to lean my head into him, but he carefully stopped me, his hands on my shoulders. Instead he rested his helmet against my forhead, and the cold beskar wasn't such a bad feeling as it rested there.

"I won't let you down. I promise." He said, clueless of my plans for later tonight, after the tribes were asleep, and no one would be at the cliffside.

"I know you won't. You're a good man, Din Djarin." I paused, trying to gather better words. "A true Mandalorian if there ever was one."

The moment didn't last any longer because of how frigid the air was becoming. It was warmer back with the tribes, they always had a fire burning.

Without another word, we both left the old artillery cavern and hiked down the side of the canyon to get back to our own clan territory.

Once I was at the edge of mine, I turned around to utter a simple goodbye, and found that he was very close behind me. His hand came up and rested on my shoulder, lightly squeezing it.

Maybe this was the last time we would see each other. Tonight I would envoke my plan to freedom, to rebirth. Perhaps we would meet in another life. Perhaps I would have just enough memory of this life to try and find him in the next one. One where I will have freedom.

Tonight I had gotten closer to the metal clad Mandalorian than I ever had before. I didn't regret it. He listened to what I had to say, and there were few who ever did.

His hand fell from it's place on my shoulder, but I didn't let him walk away yet. I pulled him into an embrace, feeling him tense up for a moment before reciprocating. It took him a few seconds to let out the breath he was holding in, but when he did, he found himself relaxing into the comfort.

"Goodbye, Din," My voice wasn't sad, or overly sensitive in any way. I figured it actually sounded quite optimistic.

"You know I'll see you tomorrow." He said, reminding me of the clan meetings. Once a month the clans would gather and each tribe would go over the agenda for whatever was to happen soon. Battles were normally discussed, but tomorrow, me and a few of the others in the other clans would be talked about. Our ceremonial coming of age where we would take the creed.

"Yeah... right. Don't come looking for me, I don't plan on showing up," I said quietly, careful in anyone was to hear me.

He pulled me back at arms length and looked at me, but his black blast shield hid his features and I could not tell if he thought I was crazy or not.

"How come?" His voice was also quiet, as we noticed some of my clan passing by to get to the fire.

"Don't worry about it. You'll still see me tomorrow," I lied. Or did I? Everyone within the five neighboring tribes would probably see me tomorrow.

He nodded, pulling us all the way apart and stepping back.

"Good."

He didn't look like he was gonna walk away until I had gone into the hub of my clan's small village. I turned around and walked towards the large fire, seeing my mother. Her helmet was unmistakable. The pattern of the strill engraved into the side of the beskar. It was her signet. A worthy kill of her days in battle. I would never have one. I walked towards her when she noticed me.

Her modulated voice let out a small chuckle, before I stepped beside her.

"It is well to see you spending time with Din Djarin. Me and your father were afraid you may not have been fond of him," She kept her gaze on the fire, speaking only loud enough for me to hear her, given that the other mandalorians of our village were also gathering around the fire, conversing with each other the same way we were.

"I am fond of him, why would I not be?" I was unsure of what she meant. Sure, I had been keeping a distance between us since my father had arranged our marriage, but I never had shown that I wasn't fond of him. I was polite, and gave him attention when it was asked of me.

"Whenever I or your father bring up the discussion of your eighteenth birthday, you always seem to act like it's the plague," She was smirking under her helmet, and I could tell. I could always tell what face she made underneath her metal covering.

"Maybe it's the fact that I dread getting married at all. I'm not opposed to Din, though," I convinced her. I wouldn't have to try and do that again after tonight.

"Whatever it is, your father will be pleased to know you and him were in each other's company. Although I will stray from telling him you two were alone... you were alone, weren't you?" She turned her metal covered head, trying to figure out from the look on my face.

"Yes," I answered truthfully, knowing there was no point in lying. No damage could be done at this point, except for maybe towards Din.

"And what were you both doing?" She tilted her head, and I let mine drop. I would tell her the truth, because nothing bad could come from it. Or could it.

"We were just talking... about the future," I answered.

"Your marriage..." She suggested, and I nodded, knowing that it did come up in the conversation.

"Yes."

"I shudder to ask if consummating was apart of this conversation," She looked back at the fire, knowing how red my cheeks would turn and how embarrassed I would be.

"No, nothing like that. I can promise you," I shivered at the thought. Din was a good man, but I didn't necessarily need to be letting thoughts like that intrude my mind.

Everyone else around the fire seemed to be distracted by the glowing flames, and my mother was soon the same, so I suggested my absense.

"I'm going to go in for the night, get some rest. Big meeting tomorrow..." I said before reaching out and squeezing her hand tightly.

She nodded to me, and I took my leave, walking towards our living quarters on the opposite side of camp.

I wasn't looking where I was going, and brushed my shoulder against Merc, who was with Gander and Shyloh.

"Sorry, didn't see you coming," I told him, but he shook his head, optiing ti ask me a question instead.

"Don't worry about it, I was looking for you anyway... Did you think about the offer? We leave at sunrise on the north delivery tarmac," He informed me, but I didn't have an answer. I wasn't staying here, but I wasn't leaving either.

"You'll know if I show up," I gave him a smirk, partially just because I was glad to see someone's actual face tonight, and not just a metal facade.

"We can't wait up for you, just know that."

I nodded, letting them get by. Maybe I could go with them. Live this life freely without starting another one.

No.

My family will not be able to handle that. It's better off if I'm dead. At least they won't go on to believe that I betrayed them, turning my back on all loyalty they had ever taught me. They would nevwr wonder if I ever loved them or planned on keeping their wishes.

I could start fresh. They wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. And I wouldn't have to worry anymore either. Rebirth.

I went straight to bed, clutching the woolen blanket beside me close to my chest.

For some reason I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. Something that made the sting of salty tears swell in my eyes. I knew that what I was doing was best, but yet I started having a hard time justifying something so drastic. They would get on fine without me, wouldn't they? They would go on living by the creed. This is the way. They will find a way to go on without me, like they did before I was born. Din will be arranged with another girl as soon as I'm gone. Everything will be alright.

The wetness that spilled over my eyes and down my face lasted hours, even though my mind kept telling itself that it was at peace.

It was in the dead of night, when I gathered a few of my belongings into a knapsack, throwing it over my shoulder before leaving out the tattered window of my private space.

I ventured to the canyon, with the moons lighting my way. The planet was never truly dark, due to the brightness and the number of shinning moons, all the color silver.

I set my knapsack down on the edge beside me. By the end of this, I would be at the bottom, waiting to be found the next day. I just hoped it wouldn't be anyone I knew. Of course, the number of people who ever came out here was only two. Me, and Din Djarin.

I hoped he wouldn't find me. I hoped it would be someone from another tribe that was flying over, and happened to spot something at the base of the cliffside.

I pulled my flask to my mouth, taking a large drink. A bit spilled onto my chin, and I wiped it off, feeling the breeze on my face. It was much colder now than earlier tonight. I wasn't sure if I should pull the blanket from my belongings and wrap it around myself, or skip the process of making myself comfortable and just get this over with.

I leaned over, looking straight at the ground, hundreds of feet below me. My heart started racing, and I got scared. Why shouldn't I be? I have every right to be absolutely terrified. I closed my eyes, trying to scoot myself over the edge inch by inch, seeing if I would just drop.

I nearly panicked when my bottom hit a crack in the ground and I thought I was going over. My breath hitched in my throat and I instantly pulled myself back.

"This isn't as easy as I thought it would be," I murmered, beginning to feel the emotional side of everything rise to the surface again. It didn't help that with the absolute silence that circled around me, I couldn't have any single thing to distract me.

I stood to my feet, wrapping my arms around myself to ease the goosebumps rising on my skin from the frigid air.

I stood right on the edge, lifting a foot over and leaning forward, but before I could fall, I again caught myself, the adrenaline working overtime in my system and beginning to heat me up.

That wasn't going to work either. If I could, I would put a blaster to my temple and pull the trigger, but then it wouldn't look like an accident.

I paced around back and forth a few times, trying to calm myself down, to stop the whimpering and to make my tears cease. It wasn't working. I just needed to get this over and done with. A new life, with endless possibilities was waiting for me on the other side. Freedom was on the other side.

I wiped my face, even though it didn't stop me from crying, but it helped me to see clearer. I backed up, into the cavern, all the way inside until my back hit the wall of the ex artillery carvern. This was it. A new beginning. Rebirth. New life. Freedom.

I ran as fast as I could toward the edge, my eyes closed. I could feel the wind blowing against me even harder with my speed, and I could tell the edge was drawing near. Every step I took, I felt as though it was my last one.

I finally felt my foot hit the edge, but then I never fell. Instead, I was tackled to the ground. Whoever landed on top of me was heavy enough to hold me down, because half of me was hanging off the edge of the cliff.

I didn't dare even open my eyes. This was a sign. Someone stopped me.

I clinged onto whoever it was, and knew almost instantly who was laid over me when I heard him groan.

I cried even harder, my head buried in his armor clad chest, and my arms around his neck and his torso.

He was holding me tightly, one hand cradled my head into his neck, and the other firmly gripped my waist. He rolled us both over and I swear I felt him shaking.

"What were you thinking?" He stressed, his grip on me tightening as if he was scared to let go. I was scared too. I didn't want him to let go.

"You have to talk to me..."

I heaved a deep breath, deep enough to steady my voice so my whimpering didn't interfere with my words.

"I want out. I need to get out," I cracked in the middle of saying so few words, but they conveyed the message I was trying to get through.

"I can get you out, I promise.... But please don't ever try that again," His voice was full of worry, and as I suspected, he was trembling in fear.

"I'm sorry..." I cried some more, realizing that what I had done was now the biggest mistake I ever made, even if I was saved.

"It's okay. You're okay. I've got you," He spoke to me, my voice quieting down as my sobbing came to a slow halt.

I lifted my face from where I had burrowed it into his neck, looking up at him. I didn't know what his expression was, but something told me it was fearful, and worrysome.

"I have to get out of here," I repeated again. The last day or so it became my mantra, and would leave my lips often, even just to myself. Mostly just to myself.

"You're going to. You're going with Merc... when are they leaving?" He asked, his arms still around me like mine were for him.

"At sunrise. They're gonna jump a delivery ship on the north tarmac," I explained, my voice was now hoarse and thick, due to not only all the crying I had done, but also the cold night air that had entered my lungs.

"Sunrise isn't for a few hours..." he let me know, and I nodded, knowing we shouldn't probably leave yet, for the walk to the north tarmac wasn't very long from here.

"Din, if I leave, my family is going to get the fire for my decision. I can't let that happen," I told him, my voice had become more firm, and I needed to convey the importance of how much this meant to me.

"I give you my word, that as long as I live, nothing will happen to your family," He swore, and I could just feel his eyes staring into mine. So much so that for the first time since he put that helmet on, I knew where his eyes were.

"I trust you. And I know that you'll always keep your word," I nodded, a small smile finally forming on my face.

Since it got fairly quiet, and we were still entangled together, I scooted off of Din and opted instead to take the seat beside him.

"I should tell you some things before I go. I just don't want to leave anything unresolved," I admitted, and he stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I know this might sound horrible, but I hated the idea of getting too close to you. It was like if I had formed an emotional bond with you, I wouldn't be able to leave anymore. And the last thing on my mind had been to stay. I've wanted freedom for a while now, I was just always too scared to say anything. And when my father told me that you and him had come to an agreement for arranging a marriage.... it's like it all became more real to me. My freedom would be taken in just days. The creed of mandalore is sacred, and it's truly an amazing thing... but it isn't for everyone."

He sat and took everything in. All the words that just spewed from my mouth like I had been holding them in for ages went against everything I had ever learned. Everything that had ever been put into my mind was the opposite of what I wanted.

"You're young. You want more than what the creed can offer you. I think you'll be able to find what you want wherever you're going," He said, I knew there was more, for he didn't even mention anything that I had said about not wanting to be close to him, but when he stayed silent, I knew he was finished, and that I still had more to say.

"Din, I wanted to tell you that if I had to be married, I wouldn't have minded it being you," I admitted. I would leave no stone unturned before I was to just pick up and leave forever... maybe not forever, maybe someday I would return to my family, to Din.

"I can't say I don't feel the same," He seemed to become stiff next to me, but I soon found the reason when he suddenly reached for my hand with his gloved one.

I took it proudly, intertwining our finhers together.

"You know, I was only an eight year old kid when you took the creed. I have so many memories of you yourself, but whenever I recall them... I can't see your face. I've completely forgotten what you look like," I laughed a bit, though it was quite a sad thing actually. I could not remember him in a way that wasn't covered in metal. I remembered that he was a boy once, and that he would play with all the younger children in the clan set next to his. He played with me and the kids I lived next to. He was a lively, energetic boy. Always doing something... sometimes causing mischievous acts. He was so different now. But the change wasn't bad. Since he'd taken the creed he has been the most noble, fearsome, and trustworthy member of his clan. Completely honorable in every sense of the word.

"I don't look like I used to. It wouldn't do you any good to remember anyways," He chuckled under his helmet, and it brought a smile to hear the melodic sound.

"Well, if I'd stayed long enough to marry you I would find out for myself," I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling comfort by his presence. If I had made the absolute decision to leave this planet earlier, I could have let myself grow a relationship with him. Romantic or not, he was easy to talk to, and I trusted him. He was a friend to me, and I never imagined more, but now his presence was just something that put me at such ease.

"Do you think you'll ever come back?" He pondered, seeing as just the tiniest moonrays shown down into the canyon ahead.

"Someday. I'll comeback and repay you."

"For what?"

"Saving my life," I replied. My attempt to throw my own life away had been pushed away but I had to bring it up. I owed him my life.

"Anyone would have done the same if they had seen," He insisted, and I shook my head.

"How did you even know I was out here?" My curiosity got the better of me, and I asked for an explanation.

"I couldn't sleep, I took a walk through Ronion until I found myself here. I saw you across from the mesa on the south side... I saw you lift your foot over the edge, I knew what you were trying to do," He said, his grip on my hand got tighter almost instantly.

"Thank you. If you hadn't been there, I would be at the bottm of this canyon." I let so much seriousness onto my voice, and it didn't sound like me.

"Don't thank me yet... not until I get you on the tarmac,"

We sat in silence after that, just looking out over the horizon. When the slightest bit of light hit the edge of the planet, we stood to our feet, gathering my knapsack and begining the journey to the north delivery tarmac.

We were there in no time, and before I could even look for them, Merc and his crew were in sight. They were all sitting with their backs against some cargo imports, waiting for the transport to arrive.

"Well, well, well... look at what the shriek hawk dragged in," Shyloh said, gesturing to me and Din.

"Djarin, I didn't expect to see you here," Merc raised an eyebrow at the sight.

"I'm just here to make sure she gets onto the transport safely," He assured them. I looked out of the corner of my eye, and in the brighter horizon I was able to see a cargo ship coming into the landing area.

"Our rides here," I said, and they all jumped up. Since the ships were automatically run, and don't even require droids, it was often very easy to hop aboard and be carried to another destination. Of course, there were only a few who ever wanted to leave.

I myself hadn't ever left Mandalore, neither had I traveled much even on the planet. Only a few trips to visit the the markets with my father. I never even went into the city, for it was told that in the city lived Mandalorians who did not keep the creed. The tribes were convinced that they hadn't actually ever taken the oath, and just wore the armor for the sake of doing it.

The ship's doors opened, pulling me out of my thoughts, and a conveyer belt folded down to let the cargo units be carried out onto the tarmac for later pickup.

"Alright, it's time to head out," Gander said, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and boarding the transport.

The rest followed after him, but I still had one thing left to do.

Din looked at me, waiting for me to join the others, but I came close to him one last time.

"You promise my family will be taken care of?" I asked, to which he simply answered with a firm nod. However the look on my face gave him reason to believe that his answer wasn't good enough, so he spoke instead.

"I give you my word. If they are not taken care of, I will let you strike me dead where I stand."

That was good enough for me. He truly meant it. He was a man of his word.

I pulled his head toward mine, resting ny forehead against his in a traditional mandalorian kiss. I pulled back when I heard my name being called from the transport.

"Goodbye, Din Djarin," I told him.

He didn't respond, he just let me go, watching intently as I boarded the ship before the doors closed.

The cargo transports were always on schedule, so as soon as the doors closed, it began lifting into the air. I looked out through the transparent view finder on the side, watching him stand as we began moving out of sight.

"You gonna miss him?" Shyloh asked, his brows furrowing as if he were sorry for me.

"Yes, I suppose I will."

I lost sight of Din, and realized we were leaving the atmosphere most likely preparing for a jump to hyperspace.

"But I'll see him again."

Tags are open ig...

A/n: please don't get too caught up in the age gap y'all it's just for backstory purposes because this story is eventually going to follow canon events.... (also i know that this doesn't really portray Mandalore correctly, but let's pretend it does because i had this idea)

#din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin smut #din djarin x oc #din djarin x jedi!reader #cassian andor #luke skywalker #the mandolorian x reader #the mandalorian #the mandalorian smut #rough day #din djarin series #din djarin imagine #din djarin fluff #din djarin angst

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wonderlandleighleigh · 2 years

Text

Thank you so much for all of the amazing birthday messages yesterday! They truly do mean a lot to me.

Birthdays are weird, hard things, for multiple reasons, and this particular birthday is a strange one.

Under the cut for talk of mental health and suicide stuff and just weird, sad personal things things I’ve been thinking about too much.

My grandfather took his own life on my father’s sixteenth birthday. They trekked from their home in MD to visit fam in NY, and my grandfather made an excuse that he had forgotten a gift back in MD, hopped in the car, drove the 4-ish hours back, had a nap and a meal, and then shot himself while no one else was in the house.

And he was 38.

And now I am 38, and thinking about this.

I mean, I’ll be very honest with you tumblr friends, it’s an incident that occurred multiple decades before my own birth, but I think about it constantly, because my dad thought about it constantly, and talked about it a lot more than he should have.

I would even go so far as to say that he weaponized it, telling my brother and I that we were lucky he didn’t take his own life like his own father did.

And there are a lot of things that go into my grandfather’s death. He was eleven or twelve when his family fled their home in Belgium in 1941 to escape the Gestapo and evade death. Horrible things happened to him on the way to America. And they, presumably, lost a lot of family and friends in the Shoah.

He got my grandmother pregnant when they were pretty young. 18, I think. And my grandmother was a deeply cruel person. She was never diagnosed with any form of mental illness, but there was clearly some shit going on. Borderline or Narcissistic Personality. Something made her that person, and it wasn’t...great. Their marriage wasn’t...awesome, as far as I’m aware. I’ve been told he was talking about leaving, but he was kind of trapped because they had four kids.

At 38, he decided on one way out. I’ll never know how premeditated it was; if it was desperation. If he just figured well...no one is home, this is my chance. If he had just spent the entire car ride spiraling. If he felt guilty or sad or just fucked up.

My dad tried to go to medium once. I think it was like the Long Island Medium or something. One of her live shows, to try and get some kind of closure, and obviously, those TV mediums are largely fake, so nothing came of it.

He never got over it.

He died last year. The majority of the people who were around back then are also gone now. There are just no answers. I never asked my grandmother. I didn’t have a relationship with her, because though my relationship with my dad was rocky at the best of times, I knew it would hurt him if I hung out with her, and at the time, that just seemed cruel, and I try to avoid cruelty when I can.

But that one event informed decades of family trauma. It was the shadow in the corner when I was young. And I do like a good mystery far too much, so it’s just something that’s really been on my mind.

Anyways, if you stuck with this for the whole thing, thanks, and if not, I totally get it. <3

#personal stuff #suicide tw #mental health tw #death tw

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etherealluminescence · 3 years

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op, p l e a s e do this one.

gn-mc is a great fighter according to their profile, but everyone severely underestimates them, since they’re kinda short and they’re thinking it’s to human standards. as soon as they come though the three (Diavolo, Barbatos, Lucifer) realise that the number of fights have gone down, and that RAD is a lot more quiet. Apparently mc had fought all the trouble makers or scary students on a whim, and has forced like 30+ scary demons into pacts, and plans to conquer RAD’s bad students. on top of that, they’re just like “one day i’ll beat the shit out of diavolo too fair and square, and conquer him as well.” for the brothers and undateables. bonus if mc said they only started their “conquest” because someone tried to bully Luke, so they decided to just conquer the demons for him like a good? older sibling

Holy shit OP this is what I signed up for when I started doing headcanons. Recently I’ve been working on my actual novel but I am still writing these out! I decided to answer this first because the creativity just HIT me.

The part that killed me is just how they did it for luke, I love him like my own son. Also side note the goth theme on tumblr hits different I really like. WARNING - a little bit of language, and violence.

Everyone reacting to GN!MC “conquering” RAD’s demons

Lucifer

He had chosen you and noticed your profile, thinking that is was almost cute humans would consider a tiny thing like you strong.

He immediately brushed you off when he saw how close you were to the chihuahua, thinking that you too, are just like a tiny chihuahua then.

But he soon hears less and less about fights going around, and even Diavolo investigates with him, and he is beyond shocked. He severely underestimated you.

He finds out because he forced some lesser demons to talk, and they were in tears saying you forced them to make a pact with you each time they lose, and by your order they weren’t allowed to fight students anymore, or else you’d punish them.

Although it was the truth he didn’t quite believe it, so they followed you around for a day before realising it absolutely was, you kicked ass so hard, the demon was crying and unrecognisable, and you forced him into a pact while snot was even coming out his nose.

He then sees you open the door behind you and take Luke’s hand before walking away from the bloody scene you had just caused. He was slightly angry and a bit intimidated, how did you, a tiny human do that?

When he confronted you about it, you just held onto his shoulders tightly, answering with “I’ll conquer you too, I’ll conquer Diavolo, I’ll conquer all of RAD, fucker. I am going to protect this child with my life.”

He was about to argue back, possibly attack you, but according to all the students investigated, you had well over 50 pact marks by now, and Diavolo found it amusing, so you were let off with that.

He swears he won’t submit to you, and has to stay on high defense because even at the HOL you will try to attack him with murderous intent to get the pact. 0/10, wants a new exchange students.

Mammon

He was the first one you made a pact with, and afterwards he started following you around like a dog, despite literally calling Luke a dog.

He knew you were a good fighter since you kept saying so, but he kept telling you demons were another level, and you should be glad to have him.

You and Luke hung around a lot, while Mammon thirdwheeled, and finally came the day of your first fight. Mammon was ready to defend you, but you ordered him to sit as you beat the literal fuck out of the demon.

Mammon couldn’t tell if that was a lesser demon or a dismembered corpse at that point, and covered Luke due to all of their screaming in agony. When you were done, you kicked their head into a wall and demanded a pact, making him slightly pouty but happy he’s alive:

Getting the pact, you left and gave a head pat to both Luke and Mammon, telling them that they’re safe with you. Mammon didn’t like it at first but then he loved it.

It didn’t take Lucifer long to find out, and when you told him with such confidence that you’d “conquer all of RAD, including Diavolo” he was like woah!! You’re going to die for that, but you’re amazing!!

And then you didn’t die, because Diavolo found it funny, and you were only serving justice to those who cause mayhem at the moment, so it was fine. He also accidentally finds out that you rival Lucifer in power, and absolutely won’t let Lucifer punish him, because in your words, “Mammon is my property now, whore.”

You were the only person to protect him, and he absolutely loves you, he may be weaker than you, but he loves staying by your side and saying he’d beat people up for you anyways.

Leviathan

Levi never really talked to you at first, nor found out about the incidents because he didn’t go to school, but when he heard Mammon talking about it he thought he was exaggerating a lot.

Even Lucifer said you were strong, but he refused to believe it at first, even denying the pact marks you had. Until you beat the life out of Levi during the TSL games.

He got angry at you and tried to kill you, so you ripped him apart, quite aggressively. He swore his tail had bite marks in them, and that he couldn’t see out of his left eye for a week. The icing on top was you demanding a pact from him. He finally believed.

After you calmed, he made a pact with you, and was now afraid of you, until you comforted and apologized to him, telling him he did try to kill you first.

When Luke comes over one day, you invite him into Levi’s room, no permission, and start to talk, and when Levi tries to make fun of him, Mammon shuts his mouth.

“Luke is the whole reason they decided to start their conquest, the whole school knows that by now!” Mammon shushed him, and Levi began feeling a little jealous that the chihuahua got more of your attention than him. But when he hears that you ALSO want to conquer Diavolo, he’s just like !?!!??? You’re crazy.

But more than that you’re like some over powered anime protagonist who got sucked into a different world with over powered plot armor, Levi thought, and he really liked it.

Begs you to come with him when he’s trying to buy stuff in lines, so anyone who tries to cut gets the life beat out of them when they do.

Satan

Absolutely member #2 of your fan boy club, Diavolo being the first one in it.

He thinks oh yeah, you can fight sure. But when he witnesses it he absolutely loses his mind. A human shouldn’t be that strong, but the way you force a pact mark from them, and even defended the tiny chihuahua before leaving, while being tiny yourself, he was interested in how your body worked.

But what really excited him and made him like you is when Lucifer entered the room and you sent a flying kick to him, putting up a harsh fight as well, before you break the table when you were knocked into it, calling it a tie.

“I swear one day I’ll conquer you and force you to make a pact with me. I’ll wipe that smug look off your face, fucker. And once I do that, I’ll beat the shit out of your prince, too.” You spat, getting up and holding your back.

So now you went from protecting the chihuahua to devildom domination? Basically asks you to make a pact with him so you can use him to fight Lucifer. When you tell him you want a fair fight, and that you’ll beat Lucifer yourself, he’s just so excited because you held your own for five minutes, and Lucifer can’t even kill you!

Literally tags along each time you decided to fight Lucifer and cheers you on so hard. Will purposely try to make you and Lucifer run into each other at the halls, so you automatically try to hurt him.

Please tell him not to eat so much popcorn, we know the show is good but it’s like he has boxes of them now knowing you’re hating? on Lucifer like him.

Asmodeous

Has absolutely freaked out and began cowering in a corner, shaking, begging you anywhere but the face.

He came to watch the show of you beating up a demon, not realizing it was you at first. When he did, he was so shocked and got closer to make sure.

You mistook him for the demon’s crew who made fun of look and tried to attack, seeing red. He held his own for a minute, before you almost rip off his wing in one swing.

He’s begging for forgiveness like the demons, despite not doing anything wrong at all. When you calm and realize it’s just human, you make the other demons unrecognizable and get your pacts, before making your way to him.

He’s just crying not his face, while you just say “Pact mark.” Pointing out you won fair and square against him, too.

He gives it too you beyond willingly, just not his face, he doesn’t even think twice. Nodding, you take Luke’s hand and leave.

He has to leave too for then next class, but then sees Lucifer, Diavolo, and Barbatos confront you.

Is afraid for you but then you literally punch Lucifer and tell him you’ll conquer him, and then turn to Diavolo and declare his ass as your own, making Asmo secretly swoon but worried.

Actively tried to avoid you while at the HOL for awhile, but noticing your docile nature when you’re not fighting, he felt a little comfortable with you, and right now his only concern is how many callouses your hands are getting from punching thick skulls.

Beelzebub

This man wanted to believe you when you said you were a strong fighter in passing conversation with him, but he just couldn’t. You were the tiniest creature he’d ever seen, and he was so sure you’d crush under one of his hugs.

He heard you were protecting Luke from the whispers of lesser demons, but he didn’t think it was through fighting.

This all changes when on his way to practice, he watches you beat up one of his teammates so hard they’re crying, they’re so huge, and yet lost to you, and the fact you sent him flying and cracked a wall, by one kick.

When you said you wanted a pact mark, he was shocked the rumors were true. On top of that, Luke was near by holding a cake he planned to give Beel as thanks for something he did for him earlier that week.

He watched you wipe the blood off your hand and pat Luke’s head, with a gentle smile. When he came in, Luke ran to him and gave him the cake, and he learned everything.

You were the one subduing the demons around here, big or small, and even protected Luke. He even learned that you challenge three totally strong demons, Lucifer, Barbatos, and Diavolo.

He totally believed you could do it now, with what he just witnessed. He’s seen his fair share of fights with egotistical demons thinking they’re so tough just because they play sports, and he’s seen guys at the gym, you were beyond that.

You had speed, strength, and great perception. Wasn’t even mad that practice was delayed, and began going to the gym with you, and will happily play with Luke too, another older sibling figure for Luke.

Belphegor

When he exited the attic and tried to kill you he watch his brothers grab popcorn from the sidelines, as they said to him enjoy dying.

He was confused at first, but then got the LIVING HELL beat out of him, oh how the turns have tabled. He intended to murder you, but you nearly killed him.

You forced a pact out of him as well, kicking him repeatedly where the sun doesn’t shine until he agreed, understanding why even Lucifer stood back. It’s not because they wanted you dead, it’s because they couldn’t stop you.

When he gains consciousness later, he finds out Lucifer is the only brother you haven’t made a pact with, and that you have over 80 pacts at this rate, and that you even planned to conquer Diavolo.

He thought it was stupid at first but after seeing you fight Lucifer, with no cheats just your normal hands for combat, while Lucifer was in demon form struggling, he understood he really liked you.

“Soooo... when are you beating the shit out of Diavolo?” He asks, and he also nearly makes the mistake of calling Luke a dog before Beel puts a hand over his mouth.

Jaw nearly drops and he loses his mind when he finds out you only started beating the shit out of people to make Luke happy.

Diavolo

This man just fucking cackles, like after watching you fight, he’s just in full tears from laughing. He’s just clapping, and telling you that’s amazing.

When Lucifer asked why you did it, you stood tall despite your short stature, and looked him in the eye with no fear. “I’ll beat each fucker who approached Luke, I’m going to defend him with all my fists got, and if you get in my way, I’ll do the same to you.” You said, before turning to Diavolo.

You walked up to him, and pulled his tie down so he could meet your eyes, and declared, “I’ll even beat the shit out of and conquer you too, one day, prince. I’ll be the ruler of this place one day. Prepare yourself for that day, until then, I won’t stop:”

This makes him laugh, not belittling you, but telling you he can’t wait, and he hopes that day comes soon, because he wants to fight you as well, and he hopes you hold nothing back against him.

He loves how strong you are, he loves how you want to protect Luke, he loves that you only did it to protect, and didn’t even bother to summon a demon, you did it with your own style. That took guts, confidence, and the fact you told him of all people with that confidence you would one day conquer him, his heart fluttered.

He would definitely start watching over you, and probably fan boy over you. The first person to ever force the prince of the Devildom to lower himself; and they even declared they would be the one to make him their’s, by forming a pact mark. It was honestly amazing to him, and he likes it.

Barbatos

He really should of seen this coming, a new fighting student, who was clinging to Luke protectively, and suddenly all the bad demons were being silenced.

Guess there’s no need for his torture chamber anymore, you’re much more feral than whatever he does, he just needs to sick you on them.

Joking aside, he doesn’t really take it too seriously. It’s great you can get a lot of pacts, and defend yourself, and even want to conquer Diavolo by forcing him to give you a pact mark, but he knows you’re still no match for him yet.

To get to Diavolo, you’d need to beat him up, and he’s a bit of a harder fight than Lucifer, by that he means a lot, he won’t even flinch if you bite his tail when he grabs you by it and puts you out the room, with a smile on his face.

It’s become a game at this point for the both of you to try and fight each other, you trying hard to get a pact mark out of him. He even offered it to you at one point, but you told him you wanted to win it fair and square, and he’s just in love with you even more because of that.

He’s pretty much a dad to Luke, so he appreciates how kind you are to him, and appreciates how you have your own set of morals for fighting, making him know that if Diavolo were to ever make a pact mark with you, it would all be fine.

Solomon

“Hey... are you sure you’re not actually the demon?” Solomon asks you, looking at the sheer amount of pact marks on your body, one week after coming to the devildom.

He’s seriously impressed by you, considering how easily you beat up demons without any weapons, magic, or underhanded tactics. You simply use your fists and legs, sometimes your head, but you get the job done scarily.

He’s even more impressed when he finds out the reason, you were visiting purgatory hall and Luke was being rather loud. “I can’t believe that’s the 7th demon this week that fought with you! You’re just so cool, you’re so strong! Thank you for protecting me!”

Probably wants to try to enhance your strength with a potion, and offers it to you when you try to have your epic showdown with Diavolo, claiming he is the boss and Barbatos and Lucifer were his right hand men who dragged Luke into this mess.

You decline though, wanting it to be fair and square. Truly admires yet fears you. But then again, i don’t think you stabbing him would making him afraid of you. I don’t think this man can feel it at all, unless it was you dying.

Anyways, he’s delighted to ask the demons you make pacts with to make pacts with him as well.

Simeon

Nearly loses his mind at first. He’s so concerned if you’re hurt,, but then he’s just like wait what.

Luke had told Simeon all about it when he reached purgatory hall, about how you beat up a demon for him, and even promised to always protect him. Simeon is really distraught you may of been hurt protecting Luke while he was busy.

But then Luke tells him about how you forced a pact mark out of the demon, and you didn’t even break a sweat, and that is was the coolest.

He doesn’t tell Diavolo about this thinking it was just a one time thing, and tries to watch over you two more. But then he sees you and he’s literally just frozen.

Humans aren’t that powerful right? And when Lucifer Diavolo finally confronts you about it, he watches as you just stare him down and declare that you’re going to conquer him as well, to make Luke feel happy and safe in devildom.

Needless to say Simeon is extremely panicked about your well-being, but extremely happy Luke is protected by someone so kind to him. Probably doesn’t approve of the violence, but Luke adores you.

Luke

The first time you met him you told him not to worry about the demons, because if they ever bullied him you would beat the life out of them.

He thought you were just saying that, and he said that he too would protect you, which you found extremely adorable and nearly went “I’m taking this kid home with me and he’s my child now.” not that anyone could physically stop you.

He found out you were actually sincere about it when the two of you were alone in RAD’s hallway, trying to leave for purgatory hall since he invited you over.

You two were stopped by a demon, who tried picking a fight on easy prey, and it was quite frankly, the worst mistake of his life, ever.

You beat the LIVING SHIT out of him, and even told Luke to look away, because this man was beyond recognisable, because you were so small you could easily duck and move fast, so the demon didn’t even land one hit on you.

Just because he’s a demon, doesn’t mean his stamina is forever you figured, and beat him up, forcing him to make a pact with you. You had one with Mammon already, so you knew how it worked, especially knew you could have multiple due to Solomon.

When it was over, you told Luke he could look, and there was zero damage to you and he was just like woah!! You’re so cool! And from then on you stuck close to him, literally demolishing any demon he thought looked scary, or just stared at him for too long.

When Diavolo comforted you about it, you stared him dead in the eyes saying “I would literally beat the shit out of you for Luke, so you better hope he starts liking the devildom soon, fucker.”

Diavolo laughed and Luke insisted you didn’t have to go that far, but you just patted his head and said it was okay.

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me hc #obey me headcanons #obey me headcanon #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me Satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me Simeon #obey me Luke

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s4turns-r1ngs · 3 years

Note

c! benchtrio and reader building a club house together, and it becomes sorta a secret safe place for them when other shit goes down in the server ?

DSMP - Hideaway

Summary: Sometimes, things get to much. Which is why you, Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo decide to build a small area for you guys to go when things head downhill.

Pronouns: they/them

Warnings: Swearing

-> [a/n] - hello!! thamk you for the request!! also, heads up: i apologize if something isn't accurate; i haven't watched more than two or something lore streams. i know most of what happens through people yelling about it on tumblr :) because of that, I've also changed up the timeline a little,, so there's more time between ranboo joining and tommy being exiled. also also: this is in 3rd-person pov. it fits better with how im writing this one. bc this is probably gonna be a long one. and reader is blue text and [F.L] means first letter of your name :)

-> this is going to be a multipart thing!! parts will go here when i write more of this. :)

-> p!c!bench trio + reader

>—————————×××—————————<

Wiping the sweat off of their forehead, they stand back, looking at the area of the groups little hideaway they had been working on.

"Not bad, [Y/N]. I honestly expected it to look a lot shittier than this." They hear a voice from behind them say. They roll their eyes, turning around in the process.

"Yeah, yeah, and how's you're working on?"

With confidence, Tommy says: "Already done, bitch. I was the first one."

[Y/N] raises an eyebrow, not believing him at all. They, along with the other two, decided to let him decorate the common area, after his constant pestering to do so, while they worked on putting walls in other areas of their hideaway. "So you don't mind if I check? You always go on about how great you are at everything."

"Go ahead, Big [F.L]." He says, confidence unwavering. Huh, that probably means he actually did it.

With both eyebrows raised, they set down the tools still in their hands and walk up to him. "Alright, show me the way Toms."

"Ew. Nicknames." Tommy replies, (obviously fake) disgusted tone in his voice. "Gross."

"Okay, 'Big Man'." [Y/N] says in response, mocking his accent.

"Yes, I am in fact a Big Man, thank you very much." He begins walking in the direction of the common area, which was behind a curtain on the other side of the room, and completely ignoring their horrible attempt at mocking his accent.

Sighing, they smile, following after him. "Uh-huh. I bet if Ranboo and Tubbo were here, they'd already been done as well."

"They would not! Ranboo's too much of a pussy to be done before the TommyInnit. And Tubbo is Tubbo. He'd probably get distracted by a bee halfway through, or some shit."

As if to push him further, they point out: "But Ranboo isn't that bad of a builder. Of course, he's not Foolish-level of good, but he's not bad."

Reaching he area, [Y/N] continues: "You on the other hand-"

They pause, looking around. It was surprisingly nice. There was a low coffee table in the center, with a couple of different coloured beanbags around it. A small window sat across the table, letting some natural sunlight in. A few pillows sat stacked up in the corner, different designs for each one. There were a couple of builtin boards on the walls, and a couple of chests under the window or in the corner with a pillows. Fairy lights hung from various spots on the ceiling.

"...this is surprisingly good."

Before Tommy gets to say anything, the two hear a door open from behind a couple more curtains.

"Hey, guys! Ranboo and I are here! Where are you?" They here Tubbo shout.

"We're back by Tommy's area!"

"Alright, one second!" The sound of curtains moving is heard before the two make their way to the common area, Tubbo pushing through the curtain dramatically, while Ranboo just tries to duck down without his horns getting caught on something.

"Oh shit! This is pretty cool, Tommy!" He walks over to the pillows. "Where'd you even get all of these?"

"I, uh–" He looks down a little, as if embarrassed. "I made them..."

"Really? Yo, dude, that's so cool!"

He seemed to have a genuinely surprised expression on his face. "Oh, uh, of course! 'Cause everything I do is cool."

The other three roll their eyes.

"Uh-huh, sure."

"Oh, fuck off, [Y/N]." Tommy turned towards Ranboo. "Wanna go set something on fire or some shit?"

"Uh–"

"I'll take that as a yes! Let's go, big man." He grabs ahold of his arm and walks out of the room.

"Don't get in too much trouble!"

"No guarantees!"

#saturn.writes #dream smp x reader #dsmp x reader #platonic tommy x reader #tommyinnit x reader #platonic tubbo x reader #tubbo x reader #platonic ranboo x reader #ranboo x reader #platonic bench trio x reader #bench trio x reader #I HAVE IDEAS FOR THIS I JUST NEED THE MOTIVATION TO WRITE MORE #BUT THERE WILL BE MORE DO NOT WORRY :]

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thesunicarusfellfor · 3 years

Note

Hello my beloved! ( Can I call you that? And people it's platonic!) I have an idea and this is for pogtopia wilbur and ghostbur! Can you do a reader who loves painting and one morning they find a picture of them with a note about the reader confessing to then but they didn't do it in person because they were really nervous? Thank you!

And please take as much time as you want also could it be a long story? Thank you!

- Your beloved Moosh 🥺

Moosh, darling! Hello! Yes, you have my full permission to call me that, thank you for asking! This is the third time I've written this story because Tumblr just really enjoys screwing me over...

Also. You never clarified whether you wanted fluff or angst, but it's Pogtopia Wilby so I kinda just went with angst? If you want a happy end to this, I'll rewrite this no problem! But it won't be as long because... Well, you'll see. Also also, I didn't exactly know where to throw the Ghosty Bur in, so... Yeaaaah? He's at the end tho!

THE FIRST PART IS LIKE NEW NEW POGTOPIA WILBUR

TW: (Sorry it didn't save the first time) C!Schlatt, bruising, threatened hanging, self doubt

Perfect Picture of Imperfection (Pogtopia!C!Wilbur x GN!Painter!Reader)

Maybe you painted Schlatt's horns the wrong colour? Or his jawline was off? He was furious when you finally showed him your art piece... It was the best you could do with the few hours you were given! Paint physically couldn’t dry as fast as Schlatt wanted it to you… He didn’t seem to care when he threw the wooden frame of the torn canvas at you, giving you a dark bruise right above your eye, or when he started yelling at you and threatening to burn your art studio down to the ground.

Or even when he grabbed you and suggested to Quackity to hang you at the gallows for insulting the emperor of Manberg.

The man you had once been friends with grinned widely and nodded happily, “Yes, sir! Yes, sir!” He said, without a single care that you were a living human being, only giving a cheer as he picked you up so your feet were dangling on the ground, leaving you silent in terror. Tubbo only averted his gaze.

“Aww… You’re like a little fawn, caught in the torchlight of a traveller.” The ram hybrid smiled in a sickly sweet manner, causing the colour to drain from your face, “Come now, darling, I’m not a monster… You’re the only one of Wilbur’s sweet little subjects that he hasn’t gotten back, and here I thought you were his favourite… Or maybe he left you here to act as a sacrifice so they could all be off doing their own thing... Guess he prefers Niki over you…” He whispered as he dropped you, chuckling softly as you scurried out of the building as you quite literally ran for your life.

You called Wilbur when you were safely hidden in your house, gasps and sobs leaving your mouth quicker than tears could pool out of your eyes…

“(Y/n)... You can’t be calling me when-”

“Wil…?” You whispered into the communicator, your voice shaking enough to shut him up immediately, “He… He’s going to…” Hiccuping meekly, you curled in tighter on yourself as you heard Schlatt’s loud and pompous voice come over the speaker system he had hung up all around the once beautiful country, “I think I’m going to die here…”

The dead silence that followed through the line was sickening…

“Is it true…?” You couldn’t help but find yourself wondering aloud, “Is that why I’m the only one left here? Am I a sacrifice so you can live happily elsewhere? ...Is that why you haven’t come to get me?”

“(Y/n), I want you to never utter those words again.” His voice was dark and steely as there was a bit of crashing around that came from the other side as well as faint mumbles which were clearly from Tommy judging by all the swearing, “You are not a sacrifice. Now... Get your Enderchest and Inventory packed up, I’m coming to get you tonight, and then I’ll explain in person…”

The line cut off and you slowly lowered the communicator down from beside your ear. Your heart was sinking one minute, but soaring the next… A terrible feeling really. You were saved! But… He could get caught trying to come to get you… You couldn’t let that happen for sure. With a heavy sigh, you rubbed your eyes free of tears before standing up and beginning to shove any necessary equipment into your Enderchest, including your finished painting of Wilbur that you were going to give to him when he won the election… And finally, confess your feelings…

When midnight hit and the lights of the city finally died down, you climbed up onto your roof and looked around for the president, fear and paranoia flooding through your veins as your mind went wild. What if he got caught? What if he was trying to give you false hope? What if. What if. What if. These sort of questions buzzed around in your mind for an hour as you waited for your saviour to arrive…

Finally, when enough became enough and you decided he wasn’t coming, you stopped pacing and slowly sat down on the roof as the tears began to start again. You could practically hear Schlatt chiding you in the back of your mind, telling you that you were a fool for holding out hope.

“(Y/n)!” A low hiss came from beside you and a hand touched your shoulder. You certainly would’ve screamed bloody murder if another hand hadn’t quickly wrapped around your mouth, “Sh, sh, sh, it’s me… It’s Wilbur.” The voice soothed softly as the hand left your mouth, quickly allowing you to turn your head.

It didn’t feel real… Seeing him after so long… And in an outfit other than his uniform. “Wil...bur?” You repeated, staring at him for a while before giving him a soft smile filled with relief, “You really came…”

“Of course I did!” He almost seemed offended for a moment before his eyes softened as he realized what Schlatt must’ve drilled into your head. Wilbur easily caught you as you flung your self at him, quickly wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your (h/l) (h/c) hair, “I missed my artiste…” He whispered, donning a temporary french accent for the word ‘artist’.

Holding back a sob, you quickly grabbed his extended hand and followed him as he jumped off your roof, safely landing in a bed of hay that you used to feed your old farm animals that Schlatt confiscated before following him out of this damned country.

After that, things seemed to change between you and Wilbur. He always seemed to be at your side, choosing to personally train you rather than letting Techno train you with everyone else, or even running over ideas on how to expand Pogtopia with you rather than with Tommy. His touches always lingered longer or he somehow wound up leaning closer to you than originally necessary, but you never caught yourself complaining. He would watch you paint beautiful designs along the armour he had gifted you, knowing full well it would chip off and was heavily unnecessary, but he only smiled and let you continue doing it as long as it didn’t interfere with enchantments.

Each day with Wilbur became better and better, but your heart physically couldn’t take it any longer, you had to tell him that you felt this way for him… The way that you had to fight back the reddening of your cheeks when his chest pressed against your back as he adjusted your stance in training, or the way you had to struggle to regulate your breathing every time he complimented you on how far you had come…

He was going to be the death of you…

Your already calloused hands were bruised and blistered, but somehow, you were still able to hold a quill, pinched in between the fingers of your dominant hand. Wilbur had come to your Pogtopia home this morning, but upon realizing that he had knocked you to the ground a little too hard yesterday as you were incredibly stiff and sore, he let you have the day off of training.

This was at least a little chance… You had torn a page from your notebook and sat down at your handmade desk with a bitter sigh. Trust me, you wanted to tell him in person, but you were just too scared… Plus, maybe you could play it off as someone pulling a prank on him if it went south.

Biting your lip, your fingers treated the quill as a brush, delicately running the ink dipped tip over the top of the paper, letting your heart control what words you wanted the ink to form.

Wilbur,

You don't realize how much you mean to me. Although we've been friends for only a year, I feel as though I've known you my entire life. My connection to you is already so deep, and my love for you is already so strong that I can't remember what my life was like before we met. Even more, I can't imagine my life without you now. I can't imagine the future without you, either.

You have saved my life several times already. You have even saved me from myself several times, too! I am so thankful for your guidance and care. Whenever I'm having a bad day, I know that I can just give you a call. I know I can depend on you and, with your help, everything will turn out well.

I want you to know how I really feel. It's time for you to know that I'm ready to admit how much I care for you, how much you mean to me. I know, this isn’t the best timing in our lives, but I trust it will get better through your leadership. I love you, Wilbur.

Please, don't ever forget how much I love you.

Love, (Y/n) (L/n)

Sighing, you put the quill into the inkpot and put your head in your bandaged hands. ‘This is going to work. It will work. Go on. Have faith in yourself, as Wil said…’ You took a few deep breaths and stood up, picking up the letter once it was dry and reading it over as many times as you physically could before your mind couldn’t handle it any longer.

Walking to the door, you cracked it open to search for any sign of your president, sighing again as you realized he was likely out helping gather resources. “Is… This enough?” You mumbled sadly as you stared down at the simple letter before looking at your Enderchest in thought. Surely you could give him a few emeralds or some gold… Yeah! That’s what you’d do! Smiling in victory, you quickly wandered over to the chest and opened it, digging through it for a few moments.

It was sort of empty…

You groaned as you remembered that you haven’t really been one of the miners or forgers for Pogtopia. Instead, you were one of the warriors, focused on protecting others instead of gathering supplies.

Going to shut the chest, you suddenly paused as you saw something colourful resting at the bottom. Pushing aside your old L’Manberg uniform, you gasped as you found your old painting of Wilbur from a few months ago. It was old, yes, and a little dusty but you were still proud of it even now! Perfect.

Pulling out the painting, you began to lightly brush the dust off of the picture, smiling at the splashes of paint and colour forming a picture. It was your magnum opus.

It was a painting of Wilbur holding up a massive L’Manberg flag against the sunlight with a wide smile and hope in his eyes… This was the day that L’Manberg won independence from DreamSMP…

Standing up again, you quickly hurried out the door and walked to Wilbur’s room, silently creaking open the door and looking around, even though you were well aware that he was gone for the day. You walked over to his desk and gently setting the painting down on top of the countless sheets of work, making sure not to mix up any of the papers, then putting your letter on top where he could see it before hurrying out before you could change your mind.

Thankfully you got out when you did because, by the time you pulled an already baked potato out of the furnace, Wilbur came down the stone stairs, looking extremely exhausted, “(Y/n), my artiste…” He murmured with a smile, “I’m glad to see you’re still up and going… I was worried we would have to make you a healing pot.”

“It’s not too bad… It’s mostly just my hands that hurt.” You chuckled and held up your shaking bandaged hands, “You want me to cook you up some potatoes and carrots? Or I could maybe try and get some steak cooked up before you go to work?”

Wilbur tried to smile a bit, deciding not to question why your hands were shaking so badly, taking everything out of his inventory and placing them in their designated chests. “No, no… It’s alright. I’m going to go get ready for Tubbo’s report… I’ll see you later tonight, okay?”

You gave him a small wave before Wilbur disappeared into his office. Taking a sharp intake of breath, you quickly followed after him and peeked through the tiny crack in the door where he didn’t close it all the way. He stood in his room silently for a moment before throwing his hat off at a wall, screaming into hands, muffling it heavily to the point where you wouldn’t have heard it if you were still near the furnaces. Wilbur threw off his jacket before plopping himself into his chair with his head in his hands for a few moments, then lifting it to stare at the painting that you had placed.

He was still for a long time, then he slowly picked up the note, his eyes softened slightly before his face broke out into a wide and genuinely happy smile before his mouth twitched and the smile began to fall, tears bubbling into his chocolate coloured eyes. Wilbur held the note up to his chest and slouched back against his chair, sobbing into his hand, whispering ‘I’m so sorry’ repeatedly.

Frowning, you realized that he physically couldn’t return your love because of the stress of caring for Pogtopia and trying to win back L’Manberg. With a sad smile, you stood up and walked to your room, putting your head down as you saw water droplets hit the stone below you, “It wasn’t a no…” You tried to tell yourself, ignoring the tears running from your eyes as you shut the door, sliding down to your knees.

The next few weeks after that were hell, the complete opposite of the Utopia that you were blinded by for the past month. Wilbur asked Techno to pick up your training, and he never even spoke to you about it again… It was the Piglin hybrid that awkwardly told you. During dinner, Wilbur would practically eat as little as possible as he ignored you, trying to make any situation where he would be in the same room as you as short as possible.

“Wil-...” You reached out to the president but watched as he only gave you the saddest gaze before walking past you as if he never saw you. But he would have no problems talking to Niki, or anyone else! It wasn’t fair!

Time ticked by in a haze of fog and you quickly watched the man you had once fallen in love with becoming a complete shadow of his former self… It was sickening… He… Lost it… His mind was becoming twisted… And all you could do was watch in horror…

You knew something was wrong when he crept away from the festival and the celebration… But you just decided that he was going to take a break from the excitement. He was quite old after all…

Then the ground shook with booming roars as TNT blew craters into the earth, sending debris scattering and people screaming, scattering for their lives. Gasps of terror escaped your lips as you realized the cause of it all… You hopped over gunpowder scented broken stone and batted the smoke away as you saw the final picture to paint the last stroke of horror in your heart.

There was a blond man with massive avian wings holding a diamond sword glimmering with enchantments as the brunet clung to his clothing, slowly sinking to his knees. With a sob of despair, you watched the man you once loved so dearly, get stabbed through the chest by his own father.

“WILBUR!” You shrieked, your ears ringing from the blast as you sunk to your knees, sobs racking your frame violently. Wilbur’s head lazily rolled to look in your direction…

And in his last dying breath… He smiled…

“That painting…” A light airy whisper echoed through the darkened stone halls of your home, “It’s familiar… Yet so foreign...”

You gave a hum as you hung your netherite armour on your stand before turning to stare at the spectral figure floating in your doorway, “Which painting, Ghostbur? There’s many… You have to elaborate.”

“Right! Because you’re an artiste!” The transparent male chirped happily, not seeming to notice your flinch, “I mean the one hanging above the fireplace, of Alivebur.”

“Right…” You nodded, following behind the eager sweater-wearing ghost down the eerie hallways and into the office, "I'm going to take it down... I think it's doing more harm than good..."

Ghostbur didn't seem to understand your reasoning, but he didn't say much, knowing that Alivebur hurt many people... But he didn't think he hurt you, "It's pretty though... But your art style has changed, in a good way though!" He smiled softly as you opened the large dark oak double doors.

You walked past your grand dark oak desk to stare at your former magnum opus, dangling above the unlit fireplace. "Hey, Bur, if you have a flint and steel, could you light the fire please?" You glanced over and watched him nod as he dug through his pockets. In the meantime, you climbed up onto the mantle and began to struggle to pull the canvas off the wall. With a bit of hassle, you managed to pull it down and toss it onto the ground before climbing down, just in time for your ghost friend to light the fire.

"Don't damage it, (N/n)! It's still really good!" Ghostbur scolded you with a pout once you hopped down and picked the canvas up, "And you used to be proud of it!"

"I'm not, don't fret too m-" You paused mid-sentence as you saw a letter tucked into the bottom corner of the back of the painting. Frowning in confusion, you slowly picked it up and turned it over into your hand, only to discover that it was addressed to you in fancy cursive, sealed with a light red and white wax seal, "What's this?"

He looked over at you and tilted his head, seeming almost as genuinely confused as you were. Ghostbur shrugged as you propped the painting up against the wall before sitting at your desk, using your letter opener for its purpose, "Love letter, perhaps?"

"I doubt it..." You mumbled softly as you carefully unfolded the paper, recognizing that it was probably a few years old, "Let's see... Who wrote this..." You hummed before beginning to read.

My darling artiste... I'm sure by the time you read this, I'm either dead or... Well, most likely dead, if all goes to plan...

I am writing this letter to you to let you know that life without you is not the same. Life without you is very sad and lonely. I have realised that it was you who keep me alive and cheerful.

I thought I would get used to your absence from my life, but every day has been harder when I think of all the good times we spent together.

There are so many things which I want to confess. It's killing me because I don't want you to go another day without knowing how I feel about you.

And I'm not able to tell you I'm in love with you.

What an idiot I am.

And for the past few days, I've been trying to figure out, why there aren't some words to describe it. I want to tell you exactly how I feel but there isn't a single goddamned word in the entire dictionary that can describe my love for you.

But I need that word. I need it because I want you to hear me say “I love You". I want to make the sweetest gestures in front of you which make you feel even more loved.

Trust me... I know... I act like an absolute ass towards you. I'm so scared of your life being in more danger than it was... I really did love you, and still do, but I didn't want it to hurt you more when I blow up L'Manberg...

Darling, I could have simply called you on your communicator and took you out on a surprise date but I couldn't have expressed my feelings. You have become an integral part of me. I want to give you all my love throughout my life.

The painting you made me is beautiful and I will cherish it for as long as I'm alive... It's a perfect picture of imperfection...

I Love You, (Y/n), even if by now you'll never love me back.

- Wilbur Soot

"That... That idiot..." You whispered, holding your head in your hands in an attempt to hide the tears from Ghostbur, "He planned blowing up L'Manberg from the beginning... That's why he refused to acknowledge me after I... He wanted me to hate him..."

Ghostbur held a bit of blue in his hands tightly, avoiding your gaze as you murmured to yourself, "Yeah... Most of my happiest memories involve you... That's why I couldn't understand when you said Aliverbur hated you..." He glanced away again as he saw you look at him.

"(Y/n)... Are you ever going to move out of Pogtopia?"

"Probably not for a long time, Ghostbur."

#pogtopia wilbur #pogtopia wilbur x reader #c!wilbur x reader #wilbur soot x reader #pogtopia wilbur soot x reader #dsmp x reader #dream smp #dreamsmp x reader #mcyt x reader #wilbur mcyt #villain wilbur #villain wilbur x reader

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