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#also I still have your other ask in my inbox and I owe you a response!!
hauntedfalcon · 1 year
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i dont wanna post spoilers in your askbox for critical role so all imma say is, is that i cant believe that decision in ep 33 was decided wit a coin toss. i genuinely thought because of the characters' previous relationships that Fearne wouldve chose the person she knew longer. And then when she told him how they chose, bruh. If it were me, i wouldve internalized that shit in the worst way
oh no please don’t worry, I am caught up on C3 and I tag spoilers accordingly, so you can go into as much detail as you like!
but YEAH. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. that moment still haunts me and I still want to believe that the coin actually came up Laudna, and Fearne chose Orym. like, Fearne knew who she wanted to save and uhhh, Fearne can generally be counted upon to do… what she wants. and *everyone* else in the party was rationalizing how they could probably bring Laudna back later, she’s been dead before, and all that. does Fearne care enough about what other people think of her to give herself plausible deniability by making it a coin toss? maybe *only* where the Hells are concerned. maybe only when it comes to the little trio she formed with Imogen and Laudna. maybe she flipped that coin because she wanted to know if the Changebringer agreed with her.
either way, the fact that she didn’t show anyone else the coin and we may not know for sure until a post-campaign recap… makes me unhinged
and yeah!! that would absolutely have hit Orym in a devastating way we have not seen the full effect of yet!!! he already has so much survivor’s guilt, and to add “my friend resurrected me because of a coin toss” on top of “my husband and dad died when it could just as easily have been me, the guy who’s not important”? DELICI—DEVASTATING
fwiw there is a moment in an episode from last month when he has a sort of spiritual epiphany, without giving away too much, that in hindsight I think did a lot to ease the damaging takeaway of only surviving because of chance. but still! he is carrying that around with him!! you can fit so many issues in this halfling!!!
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spdrvyn · 1 year
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full stomachs, fuller hearts — MIGUEL O'HARA
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SUMMARY: miguel has gotten used to eating dinner by himself so you decide to change his nightly routine.
THIS FIC CONTAINS: literally nothing but pure unaldulterated fluff. gender neutral terms mostly but querido is used once.
NOTES: OKAY so this was actually a request for someone but i was a dumbass and accidentally POSTED the draft when i meant to save it for later, i panicked and deleted the post so now i lost the request from my inbox forever 💔 whoever that dude was i hope you find this and i hope you enjoy
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Lonely dinners were always a common occurence for Miguel.
That was just how things are. After a long and drawn out day of protecting the multiverse, protecting the city, protecting everything that he's built up and coming home to a desolate penthouse.
It was the norm for him, he had grown accustomed to it. Being isolated in general wasn't a foreign concept to him, but you brought more change to his life that he thought he would hate.
He loves you a lot. You two had been in a committed relationship for a few months now but haven't moved in yet. The every few hours during a day that you would get to visit him or perhaps he could swing by to your apartment were the only times he felt some sense of warmth in his cold, silent life.
It's not like he didn't want to ask you to move in, he does. Oh, so badly. It's just that the constant fear that he's going too fast or getting too excited over this newfound love. He doesn't want to scare you away.
There was also just a small part of him that was getting too used to being around you. It's gone to the fact that whenever he ate dinner, he'd always imagine you on the other side of that table, laughing and sharing stories about how you're day went.
When he snapped out of it, the sight of the empty chair across him brought his spirits down even more.
You were aware of this too.
Which was why you were up at the wee hours of the night, trying to watch an online video recipe for making empanadas. You knew how to cook enough meals to get by but you wanted to try something different for Miguel.
The bar was set a little bit higher this time. You've been over at Miguel's place before and he has cooked for you and every single time you've tried his dishes they were utterly delectable.
You didn't only want to make all of this food for him just because he's constantly eating alone but because he's really expanded your tastebuds ever since you two developed a much more intimate relationship. You could at least owe him one homecooked dinner.
Reminders to yourself, thank Lyla for letting you in and don't blow up Miguel's penthouse.
As you followed the tutorial step-by-step, you couldn't help but let your mind wander a little further. You wondered how Miguel was doing right now.
Yes, he's strong and agile in an almost inhuman way but at the same time you still worried for him. If only he could be here right now, you'd love to have the opportunity to cook with him.
He was grateful that you weren't in the present moment with him right now, his stomach growl in anticipation for it's next meal as he was running and swinging from rooftop to rooftop to get back to his penthouse.
There were many obstacles that he encountered on the way back. The classic old lady getting her purse snatched which gave him severe déjà vu, a bank robbery, and a cat stuck in a tree.
He grew progressively exhausted with each stop, not forgetting that he had his actual duties at the headquarters that he just left from. Sore muscles and a throbbing head, a painful combo for Miguel.
Maybe he should just skip dinner altogether and opt to immediately pass out on his bed, showering in the morning and having a very heavy breakfast. Yeah, that would work...
He glares into the window of his penthouse, not because he was hesitant to make the jump but because the lights were open. He was sure that he left all of his rooms in complete darkness before leaving.
With one final jump, his claws dig into the edge of his window as he pulls himself up. His eyes narrow, in attempts of getting a good peek of what exactly was going on.
An intruder, a home invasion, Lyla having a party without telling him were all of his possible theories.
What he didn't expect was to see you setting up his plate on his kitchen island, plates of delicious smelling food prepared as well.
There was an intrusion, that's for sure. The intrusion of blush on his cheeks, which he quickly had to shake as he took his mask off.
However, as quickly as it disappeared, it came back once he saw the look on your face the moment you noticed his presence.
Pure glee and warmth is how he'd describe it. It's also how he'd describe the embrace that you immediately pull him into, throwing the silverware that you were readying.
It's not like he hesitated to touch you either, he wrapped his arms around you. So glad that he gets to bask in your existence again, bask in you.
"What's all this, querido?"
You separate from Miguel for a brief moment before walking over to the kitchen counter, proudly showing off your creations. "Empanadas and menudo!"
It was like stars clouded Miguel's vision as it all goes through his mind. You came to his house, fixed up a whole meal for him, and for what? He doesn't remember getting you any gifts recently.
So why?
"Are you just going to stare or are you going to try one?" chuckled you, at least it got Miguel to snap out of his daze. His hands reaches out to one of the empanadas and he takes a bite.
Okay, if he was being honest, he's tasted much better before.
But you put so much thought, so much time, and so much care into making this for him. All of those qualities overshadowed the taste and dryness of it, filling his stomach with something else entirely.
This was probably one of the best empanadas he's ever tasted.
"It's really good." He says, swallowing the last of his food, "Best that one I've ever tasted, mi cielo." Then leaning in to press a small kiss to your forehead, warm hand cupping your cheek.
"You're just saying that, Miguel. I tasted them before you got here and they're really dry."
"Still the best I've ever tasted."
He continues to plant kisses on you, trailing from your forehead to the bridge of your nose to your cheek then boarding at your lips, you giggle into the kiss but before it progresses any further, he stops and pulls away.
"Do you want to move in with me?"
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request rules here, masterlist here
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etheries1015 · 3 months
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I was thinking- what if Vil does one of those celebrity documentaries when he's older? He's settled down with you, you have kids, his career is still going good. He'll talk about when you guys decided to settle down and have kids (the home video clips of him loving his kids 🥲). They'll sit you down and you just radiate loving housewife energy and someone will sneakily catch on camera Vil looking at you so softly while you're recording your part. Him admitting his problems with Neige (and the team interviewed him too but he still has no idea about Vil's true feelings), how he always wanted a role outside of being a villain. Rook having his own interviews being his usual self but also suddenly showing up in your home during filming. Epel wanting to get in on it to kinda reveal the bs Vil made him put up with (and Vil just chuckles cause he still knows he was right) and to promote the farm. And then Vil mentions how he owes Malleus favors (does he reveal he overblotted?). Cue the screen suddenly showing Malleus sitting comfortably in a chair and smiling smugly. And then you notice he's in your home. And he's just like, "Oh, yes. I did Schonheit some favors back then." And it shows some backstage footage of the film crew wondering if they should even try and contact THE Malleus Dragonia to get an interview, and if they do if they actually have the guts to. But before they can decide you pull up, "Oh? You wanna talk to Mal? Let me ask him!" And you just speed dial him and ask and once you hang up he's magically poofed into your home for the interview. He doesn't mind talking about Vil and you but also sneaks in some gargoyle stuff. There's also extra footage of your still young kids hearing Mal is here and running up to him, "Uncle Mal~!!" And you, Vil, Mal, and the kids having a small tea break.
Oh man, what're you doing dropping this beautiful piece in my inbox when you should post it on your page and get the attention it deserves?? Because this is ADORABLE and AMAZING! All the ideas you threw out in here were so cute, Vil finally having the confidence to talk about you and his family, his carreer as a total...plus that Malleus blurb LMFAOOOO, When you're asked what person in your school years affected you most other than Vil or what friends you had that were most prominent, you say "Oh, Malleus Draconia! I think he's king of brair valley right now, though."
Everyone just stares at you in shock, but Vil kinda like "You have his number, right? Call him over." (He did it for the drama...he thought it would be funny for the documentary, and he was right. It became the most replayed part of the entire section.)
AND YOUR KIDS WITH VIL TALKING AND HANGING OUT WITH MALLEUS LIKE OL' CHUMS IS SO ADORABLE. When Malleus comes over, he always has some sort of riches or treasures for your children. He's constantly playing with them. He's your go-to baby sitter and he LOVES it. You being best friends with Malleus while married with Vil HAS to be my favorite thing about ALL OF THIS. It's so adorable i'm sobbing crying shaking throwing up.
The home clips...oh my gosh i'm so soft. YES!! Imagine when the documentary gets released, so many people point out places that they noticed Rook was in the background in the videos when you didn't see them before. It was insane, an entire conspiracy theory trend came out of it.
I like to think you have home videos of VIL being the housewife, cooking in his "Kiss the queen" Apron while holding one of your children on his side and using a spatula to flip the pancakes with the other. He had no idea you released this to the director, it came a shock to him when there was a section of the documentary dedicated to how you felt being married and having kids with one of the worlds biggest stars. He probably cried a little about it, ngl.
PLEASE I IMPLORE YOU reveal yourself!! Or post this!! Because it's such a cute idea and I think you truly deserve the rightful attention! But thank you for sharing, this was such a fun read and I enjoyed exploring / expanding more on it heuheuheu.
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wonwoosthetic · 7 months
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Amour-Haine & Co. | Chapter 18 |
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series masterlist
word count – 15k
warnings – mentions of sex, mentions of sa (I tried to keep it brief and not mention it an unnecessary amount of time), cursing, screaming, law enforcement related things
a/n – I have nothing to say other than thank god this finally made its way onto tumblr😭 I’m still not 100% satisfied with it but I feel like if I edit it any more, it’s only gonna get worse😭😭 pls enjoy this, thank you for everything🫶🏼 BTW: this chapter includes A LOT of law enforcement and court terms and scenes, but since I am no expert in that field, please be prepared for inaccuracy! If any one you have more experience in either one of these subjects: please let me know!! If I can make it any more realistic, I’d love to do so!! Also: thank you to the anon who inspired me for the Jeonghan turn🫶🏼🥰 when I first outlined the story, this was definitely not planned but after seeing their request in my inbox a few months ago, I just knew I had to include it, so I hope you enjoy it🤍
fyi – not much lovey y/n x wonwoo in this chapter, but don’t you worry bc there will be more than enough in the next ones ˙ᵕ˙
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“I’m proud of you.”
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"Mmmm," Binna's enjoyable moan echoed through your ear as she took the first sip of her second cocktail that night - she had downed the first one within the first 10 minutes of sitting. "Long day at work, don't wanna talk about it," she commented on it as soon as she found your questioning, and slightly concerned, gaze on her.
You couldn't help but chuckle as you continued to sip on your first cocktail of the evening, your food still untouched next to you. By now the steam had already evaporated, and the ice in your drink had melted, watering down the burning taste of too much alcohol the trainee bartender had graciously given you. 
Your eyes were fixed on her and the lowering level of liquid in her glass as it went down and down with every sip, coming to a halt just right to make it half-full. "Are you sure, you're okay?" You questioned her carefully.
She hastily nodded, wiping her hands, now covered in salt from her fries, with a white napkin. "Yeah, yeah," she brushed you off before placing both of her palms on the surface of the table, slightly leaning forward with a smirk. "Now tell me, how's playboy-turned-loverboy doing?"
"Good. I think," you slyly answered, reaching out for a fry, which was interrupted by a harsh slap on the back of your hand, making you wince as you snatched it back. "OW!"
"Don't fucking say 'I think' as if you don't see him at work all the time and sleep over at his place every second day," Binna snapped at you. What you hadn't told her was that Wonwoo had also asked you to come over that evening, but you decided to cancel, remembering the date you and your best friend had already agreed on.
With wide eyes, you shrugged, "Yeah- well- I don't know. I think he's doing well." You knew the unknown was making her even more giddy, and only more questions would spill out of her.
"I think he's doing a little very well if he gets to sleep with you, don't you think?" She always had her way with compliments.
The liquid of your drink got stuck in your throat as you covered your mouth, giggling at her sudden comment. "Jesus, Binna," you shook your head as she joined your laughter. "I think he's doing well because this whole Chanyeol situation is finally coming to an end." You reminded the both of you of the hopefully last time you'd ever come face to face with the man of the hour. The day was coming closer, prayers were being said each night, quietly just hoping to make it stop.
Your best friend gave you a nod in understanding. "When are you seeing Jihoon again? Tomorrow, right?" You nodded. "Then we can finally stop talking about this piece of shit. He's been occupying your mind a little too much." Just like most of the time, she was yet again right about that. The following day would be the last consultation you'd have with Wonwoo's lawyer before your court date on Friday - Payday.
"Yeah, well," you sighed in frustration, leaning back in the wooden chair, "Can you blame me?"
"No, no, of course not," she quickly reassured you, patting your hand. "But at least you also got some other things to keep your mind occupied with." Wiggling her eyebrows to underline her question. Even without her antic, you would've known what she was implying.
"You mean Wonwoo?" You chuckled, to which she excitedly nodded, biting down on her lips to hide the grin that was daring to escape. "But even there's Chanyeol involved! Do you know how much we've talked about him?"
"Ugh," Binna faked a gag, "Can we just agree to not say his name out loud anymore? Let's just call him... Grapefruit." That woman and her codenames. Ever since she had started working as a teacher, this became a thing of hers to do with all of the men she shared a bed with. At first, it was only to be able to talk about them in front of the kids, since some of those stories may have included a single father or two of the kids in her class, but she had let it seep into her everyday life. Explaining why you'd now find yourself calling a thirty-something-year-old grown man "bookshelf", just because of the way his haircut looked from the side. Grapefruit would be added to the list.
"Grapefruit?"
"Yeah," she nodded, taking another sip, "I hate Grapefruits. Anyways-," she waved it off to change the subject. "What do you mean you talk about Cha- I mean, Grapefruit?"
"Well- like, about the entire situation. You know, some evenings we spent going through court stuff or looked through what he's been up to." Jihoon had mentioned to 'always know who you're going up against'. And Wonwoo and you took his advice to heart. There were multiple nights spent together in the office, sometimes along with Mingyu, or even at his place, going through the files the court had published to you about Exodus' Entertainment. You had stalked his Social Media presence and analyzed his public outings. The smiles he would fake, the words he would lie with. You knew this man inside out, having spent three years with him did come in handy. Even after all this time, he took up more time inside your brain than you would've liked to.
While continuing your story, you motioned around with your hands on the table. "It even all started with him. Sometimes... I mean, I don't always bring it up with Wonwoo, sometimes it's just in my mind. To myself. But... yeah..." Pressing your pointer to a random spot on the wood.
"Hold up-," Binna raised her hand to stop you, "He started it all? What is 'it'? You and Wonwoo?"
You already knew you'd regret your answer before it had even left your lips, but who else could you be the most honest with, if not your best friend since primary school. "Kinda..." 
"Alright, you're stupid." She simply stated, staring blankly right at you.
"No, wait-" You scolded her, but she just shrugged. 
"What? You're an idiot. Why would you think that? How could that asshole have anything to do with what's going on with you two now?" 
You sighed, shaking your head slightly, knowing you'd have to choose your words wisely "No, no, look. I mean," you sighed with an annoyed undertone, trying to get your eyes off her. "I know he doesn't have any effect on me anymore whatsoever, but you can't deny that because of what happened, Wonwoo and I got closer. The break-in started a whole chain reaction-"
"That's idiotic to think about-" Before she could finish, you cut her off.
"No, it's not. It's what made us talk more to each other. Why we started to actually interact and realise that we would have to work with each other and not against each other like we did before." The two of you knew, your words held some truth.
Binna violently shook her head, her bob moving along, "Maybe for you, but most definitely not for him."
You scrunched your eyebrows at the slightly slurred words from your best friend. "What do you mean?"
"He invited you to that event thing before all that shit went down. For God's sake, Y/N!" She shouted into the room, immediately making you jump up to cover her mouth from across the table. You sent her a wide-eyed glare, hoping to make her understand to shut her mouth. Binna nodded as she grasped your hand to pull it down, continuing her exclaim in a quieter volume. "He bought you a fucking dress! And not a cheap one!"
"I know that! But keep it quiet," you snapped at her, sitting back down to continue nursing your drink which was now close to getting empty. God, you should've just ordered two at once, just like Binna did.
"You're not listening to what I'm saying-"
"You're not listening to what I'm saying. I don't think that nothing would've ever happened, but it did speed things up A LOT."
"I thought we went over this. Stop overthinking all of this. Be happy for yourself for once in your goddamn life! You've been fucked over by so many men in your life that don't even deserve to know about your existence. Your father included by the way," she pointed out, making you nod. "And now you found a man that would burn down the entire world for you, and you're still thinking about that shit-eating sorry excuse of a man from your past that doesn't even know how to do his own laundry?" The reminder made you almost chuckle, but the truth was too painful.
To think back on the fact that you once had your hands down his laundry basked and washing machine, because he didn't know how to make use of it, sent a shiver down your spine. "He did actually not know how to do that."
"That's what I'm saying," she sighed out desperately, throwing her head back with a groan. "All of them were such a waste of your time and patience and kindness. So... just enjoy what you have with Wonwoo now. So what if Grapefruit sped up things for you two? If anything, that's a good thing."
"I... I know what you mean. And... I... UGH-" You groaned under your breath, covering your face with your hands before running your fingers through your hair, an exhausted huff of air leaving your lips. If you could, you would've already punched yourself. Just like Binna did after you had told her what happened in Wonwoo's apartment after your quick trip to the Monbebe - she left a bruise that didn't go away for four days and Wonwoo had quite a few questions about that.
"He's not the reason for anything but misery in your life, alright?" The casual use of the nickname made you chuckle. "Wonwoo would still be knees deep for you, he'd still be this big fucking simp, and you'd also still have a crush on him that you, even now, don't want to admit to."
You interfered after hearing her comment as she slyly continued eating some of the fries in the middle of the table. "Hey! That's not true." You huffed out, mumbling the last part of the sentence.
"Oh, it's not? Have you ever said, you know what, 'I like him'? Or 'I have a crush on him'? " Binna nagged, knowing eventually she'd get something out of you.
You decided to stay silent, desperately hoping she'd just drop the subject but both of you knew better than that. 
"Exactly." She pressed her lips and eyes tightly together, her fingers digging into her temples. "You don't know if you have a crush on the man you've been spending the past three weeks with? Non-stop." Binna opened her eyes again to meet yours. "You don't know if you have a crush on the man that has been sending you flowers and food every single day at work? You wanna tell me you don't have a crush on the only man that has been actually able to make you come for the first time in-" Her continuous ranting made you groan out loud.
"OKAY! I like him, alright?! Fine! You win! I like him." With a last deep breath, you stunned her. "There. I said it. I like him, Binna. I really do. I'm scared, yes, fuck it, I'm terrified even, but whatever is going on right now feels really good and I really don't want to fuck it up."
You had decided to let yourself give into him, slowly but surely. The final decision must've happened way earlier in your brain. After yet another hot and passionate session of yours, late at night, cuddling into his side as he subconsciously was still grazing his fingers over your skin while slowly giving into the sleepiness that had overcome him. 
You couldn't help it. The more you tried to fight it, the more Wonwoo was willing to fight. A fresh set of flowers on your desk every single week, pastries from the bakery Binna and you had recently found and started to love every morning by the front desk at the office, heck even the car keys you hadn't been able to get rid of yet. By now it had basically turned into a game of you trying to leave them in his apartment or office, only for you to find them inside your bag later that day again. It made you chuckle each time. He was a stubborn one, that Jeon Wonwoo. Whenever your own thoughts were starting to catch up with you, trying to remind you that he was indeed too good to be true, and every man would eventually turn out to be the same, the CEO made sure to be right there, keeping your mind clean and ensuring you of his not-always-so-inocennt, yet pure intentions with you. The few sleepless nights the two of you had been spending together were proof of just that.
With wide eyes and a smug smile on her lips, Binna leaned back, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Well done. I'm proud of you."
Sulkingly, knowing she had finally gotten what she wanted, you crossed your arms. "Leave me alone."
The woman in front of you continued to gaze at you, her lips sealed as she took in your sunken-in frame. A sad smile was starting to form on her face. "You don't have to pretend to be all cold and cool about this. He's pretty cute. With all the stuff he does."
You wish you could've stopped the blush spreading on your cheeks, but it shined so proudly, lighting up your entire face as you bit down on your bottom lip.
"I know," you mumbled, taking a fry to fill your mouth with, trying to distract yourself from the situation and hoping your body would stop naturally reacting like that.
A second of silence passed between the two of you before Binna's chuckle interrupted it. She let her forearms rest on top of the table, leaning in to catch your gaze.
"I haven't seen you blush like that in years," she commented softly, reaching to pet the back of your hand. "You deserve this, Y/N. Enjoy it."
Slowly, you raised your head, still almost too shy to lock eyes with her directly. Your gaze quickly fell to your hands touching before chuckling, finding your own thoughts ridiculous, but as embarrassing as it may have seemed to you, you couldn't and didn't want to hold back.
"I really do like him."
Your best friend nodded, "I know," a proud smile decorating her face. Happiness had never looked and felt so good.
-
The plain white walls were starting to dawn on you. A waiting room so sterile, with two paintings being the only splash of colour in the entire corridor, would do that. Even after all the times you had spent sitting there, you were still not used to it and weren't planning on it any time soon. The hope of not having to return all that much ever again had not yet vanished.
A heavy sigh tumbled from your lips as you sulked even deeper into the grey-cushioned seats Jihoon had chosen for his law firm. The past twenty minutes had started to feel closer to an hour with the hollowness of the room. The only sound echoing through your ear was the rushed typing of his assistant around the corner, who hadn't stopped ever since you had arrived. Not even your phone could entertain you enough anymore, time was just moving too slowly.
Wonwoo, with whom you came, had just gotten off the phone with God-knows-who when he directed his attention to you. Amusement made his lips curl up as he put his phone into the inside pouch of his suit jacket before hiding his hands in his pockets.
"He likes to take his time." 
Your exclaim of a breath told him everything he needed to know. He took a quick peek at the still-closed door to the lawyer's office. A door you had been staring at for at least ten minutes.
You took a deep breath in desperation. "Yeah, a little too much time." Your comment made Mingyu, who was sitting opposite of you chuckle. You had to hold back any snarky remark, remembering that he was your last bit of hope and you were supposed to give him all the time he could possibly need. He was a busy man after all and you were most definitely not his only clients. 
Wonwoo's laugh rang through your ear as he got closer to your seated position. "Well, look who's suddenly the impatient one." His comment made you roll your eyes but made the slight smile playing on your lips almost impossible to hide. The past few weeks with him must've done something with you. 
Ever since that late-night event after your not-so-pleasant visit to the Monbebe, the dynamic between the two of you had changed. Drastically. It was less about built-up anger and frustration, not even about hidden tension anymore. Much rather was it now about appreciation, care, and gentleness and... even enjoyment. In all this mess, the two of you had found a way to enjoy each other's presence and forget about the daunting events that were still haunting you.
You two had spent more nights together since then. More than your old self would probably like to admit. But your new self?... She enjoyed it. Not only did those nights end in sex. No, some were just filled with late-night talking - some work-related, others not. He had started asking questions. Quite a few even. About you, and your childhood. Wonwoo had wanted to know what your favourite season was, what your favourite memory of your school time was, and which celebrity you'd bring back from the dead if you could - questions no other ex had ever even entertained to wonder about. Some questions you hadn't even ever asked yourself. And you answered him. You gave him an answer to every single one of his questions. In return, you had found out about his childhood best friends, about him being his grandmother's favourite grandchild, and about what he'd do if he could go back in time. You got to get to know Wonwoo. Not hot-playboy-CEO-bachelor Jeon Wonwoo, but the Jeon Wonwoo, who graduated top of his year at Seoultech University. Wonwoo, whose discovery of stage fright in middle school shattered his dreams of becoming an actor even before his father could drag him into the family business. Wonwoo, who would kill and die for his friends and family and who might look and act like the coldest asshole to walk the streets of the city, but could be deeply caring about the ones most important to him at the same time. You had almost forgotten about the person you had always thought he had been as you got to meet the real side of him. 
The side that called his mum at least once a week whenever she wasn't in town to keep up with the latest gossip she had to tell him. He'd roll his eyes while on the phone with her, sending you looks of apology while you continued to sip on the wine he had poured for you, chuckling at the sight in front of you as he walked around the apartment, nodding along to whatever his mother was ranting about. The side that would never forget your dinner reservations at 8, already thinking about what you'd be wearing and what flowers to get you to match your outfit while listening to yet another uneducated business partner and throwing him out of the room as soon as one wrong comment would fall from their lips. He cursed their existence and the entirety of the corporate world while promising to make his own office and company a place where employees would enjoy coming to work.
He'd sit in his office, checking his wrist every few minutes, counting down the time and catching glimpses at you talking to the other employees, desperately waiting for the work day to end, so he could be at home, doing the dishes he had left in the sink in the morning, still needing to change the bedsheets before you'd arrive with the food you had promised to pick up on the way. How domestic of you two.
There were no obligations, no rules you had to follow. You were just enjoying yourself. Enjoying your time with him. The words he had trusted you with had branded themselves onto your heart and brain, reminding you every single day of what you were getting yourself into. You started to trust him. You were starting to fall. It was crazy. You couldn't help yourself, you couldn't hold back. You didn't want to. Falling was something so inevitably impossible to stop from happening. Whether you're falling over, falling down, or... falling in love.
You had caught yourself looking at him already. Multiple times in the last few weeks. Commenting to yourself, he's facial structure, the tilted line of his jaw, and the bridge of his nose were just aesthetically pleasing. No one would deny, that you were correct in your assumption. But that was not the reason you couldn't help yourself from looking at him. You had ignored the tingle in your stomach and the warmth spreading in your chest. But there was only so much time that you could tell yourself it was nothing until it did become something. And the end of that time arrived sooner than you could've prepared yourself for and hit you like a wall.
You had repeatedly thought about those nights you had spent with him, sitting by the dining table, snacking on the takeout you had decided on for that evening while reading out loud letters from the courthouse, the judge, Jihoon, Jeonghan, and even Chanyeol. Statements from Sehun were rarely ever in the mail you received, he opted for texting you privately, promising to stand with you and support the decisions you would make. But those evenings had led to the current scene unfolding. Another appointment in the Lee Jihoon law firm. The, hopefully, last official time you'd meet here for the haunting reason of Park Chanyeol.
Wonwoo grunted as he threw himself onto the empty seat next to you, "I swear to God, once we're in there, I'm gonna-"
"You're not gonna do anything," you interrupted him, looking to your left to find his side profile as he was still glaring at the closed door. His patience was running thin, you could tell. With a smirk and a scoff, he leaned back and turned to the side, his eyes meeting yours.
"You don't believe me?" He teasingly wondered.
"Oh no, I do believe you," you assured him with a similar smile, "But I also know that you know better than to anger your only friend that can get us out of this."
"Can you maybe not flirt right in front of me?" The younger CEO cringed as he looked towards the door, trying to divert his eyes from the two of you.
Before Wonwoo was able to talk back, a snarky remark already playing on the tip of his tongue, the white door suddenly opened, revealing the slightly messy head of wavy hair.
"Am I interrupting something?" Jihoon joked as he looked into the hallway, his eyes immediately finding you two and your faces that had subconsciously moved in closer to each other.
With a quick move, Wonwoo pushed himself up from the cushion, his hand already awaiting yours to help you up as well. "Yeah, I was just talking about breaking in your door." You ignored his helping hand, opting to stand up yourself, only to feel his gentle grip on your elbows. Was he really helping you? No. Did you still enjoy the soft touch? Yes.
"Hilarious as always." Jihoon nodded, walking back inside, leaving you to let yourself in.
Before walking ahead, you snatched the two thin folders you had brought yourself into your hands and let yourself get led by Wonwoo's hand on your lower back. Something else, you had learned about him was his love for physical touch. Secret little touches had become a standard when standing or sitting next to him. Wonwoo was by no means a man attracted to any form of PDA, he enjoyed it very much privately though. But no one could deny his love for keeping his hand or even just a finger on you. He took pride in doing this as secretly as possible, making no one else notice it. Mentioning physical touch being his love language only got you a roll of his eyes, you recall, and a comment about Yeri, his cousin, nagging him about doing tests like them on the internet, as well as an MBTI test, so he'd 'have it much easier to find a suitable partner'. Later that day, he did admit those tests revealed that his love languages were, in fact, physical touch, as well as, words of affirmation and gift-giving. And his MBTI was, to his last knowledge, INFJ.
Mingyu closed the door as he was the last one to enter, and all four of you in your designated seats in Jihoon's office - him behind his big desk, you right opposite of him, with Wonwoo to your left and Mingyu on your right. The room matched the entire floor perfectly. Pearl-white walls locked you in, and every door matched the colour of the walls. Each piece of furniture was fitted to the cool tones he had decided on. The floor continued to be dark grey, reminding you of a modern doctor's office. Everyone had their own taste, but you were thankful your office looked much different.
You handed him the last piece of content he'd need for the final trial tomorrow. During the past weeks, Jihoon and Jeonghan had consultations with the judge privately, as well as publicly. None of you were supposed to be there as it was only between the lawyers, and he was yet to update you on the progress he had made.
"Okay," the lawyer looked through the printed-out document you had brought along. "This is everything Sehun has texted you? Every single thing. Every word, every picture he sent, every single emoji? Everything."
You nodded along with his questions.
"Everything. I promise. I didn't change anything. I just, copy and pasted it," you swore to him as you spoke the truth.
Jihoon thanked you. "I'll get this to the judge before the trial tomorrow. She won't read it out loud while we're in the courtroom unless it's one hundred per cent necessary so that nothing will happen to Sehun."
"Thanks," you smiled at him. You had kindly asked him to do just that. With everything going on, and Chanyeol already hating enough people, his anger being on a 10/10 most likely, you didn't want to throw Sehun under the bus and call him out for helping you and doing the right thing. What he'll do after this shitshow was done was his issue to deal with and not your place to be involved in.
"So," Wonwoo decided to lead the following conversation. "Where are we right now? How are things looking so far?"
The younger man leaned back in his chair, throwing the pieces of paper back on his desk. He took a deep breath. "Good, I'd say."
"You'd say? That was a yes-or-no kind of question," The CEO stated, his facial expression strict and cold, just like the rest of the world knew him.
"Well, Wonwoo, I can't guarantee you anything. These people are unpredictable. They always have something up their sleeve, like literally constantly, and I'm trying my damn best here-"
"Then do better-"
"Wonwoo-" Mingyu tried to stop the two.
"Wait," you interrupted them before their fight could explode. "What do you mean? What happened last time?" Your eyes were trained on the lawyer as he pushed his chair to turn around, getting a brown file out of his cupboard before turning back, and throwing it to land right in front of you.
Once you got your hands on it and opened the file, you let your eyes rake over each line written in what seemed to be a university document from Seoultech. With your eyebrows scrunched together and your mouth slightly hanging open, you lifted your head to glance at Wonwoo.
"You cheated on your final exams and plagiarised your dissertation?" 
"What?" He quickly got a hold of the piece of paper, reading it for himself, and opened his mouth, ready to raise his voice as he stood up. "That's-"
"Bullshit, I know," Jihoon stopped him calmly. "Don't worry, I called them and got statements from your professors."
Wonwoo looked at his friend in confusion, "But most of them are retired," who just walked over to him to get the file back into his ownership, a smirk proudly presented on his lips.
"I told you, I'm good at my job." Making the CEO scoff and roll his eyes.
You were still in a twilight zone, not able to follow every detail you had read and the conversation happening between the two men.
"But if it was so easy for you to debunk it, why did they write something like that?" Mingyu wondered, gaining back the lawyer's attention.
He sighed before shrugging and settling back into his chair. "I guess they just wanted to try. They claimed Wonwoo to be a master in faking documents, not realising that if I were to find the real ones, they'd be accused of doing the exact same thing. At this point, they have almost nothing else to lose because they're already so close to losing this entire lawsuit."
"Well," Wonwoo jumped in, choosing to continue standing up, "Then what's gonna happen tomorrow? Anything we need to be prepared for?"
Jihoon looked down at his desk as his fingers had started to play with a pen, occupying himself as he talked. 
"Before I brought you guys in, I sent them some final stuff. Some of the statements Sehun got us, and the security camera footage from your office. I think it was Vernon, but he was able to zoom into the face and de-pixel it, which was revealed to be one of Chanyeol's employees who I had mentioned already last week in front of the judge. So, they'll go over that and comment on it tomorrow. They'll probably ask you guys some more questions about the night of the break-in. Like, where you were, what you were doing, how did you find out, and so on. Just be honest about that. Try to stick to the version you guys have told me, that would make my life a lot easier, thank you. They'll also question Park about it, probably also Sehun." He fell quiet for a second before continuing. "Everything else is pretty much done. They reached out to some of the women, but most of them declined to show up in court personally and chose to send in videos and written statements. It would be smart to read them out loud, but I don't know if they will or if they'll protect the identities of those women. My plan would be to win your lawsuit tomorrow and let them handle the sexual assault cases alone without us involved. And I don't know how that will play in for us... I mean- they've seen all of Yoon's tricks, and they're really not impressed by him from what I could tell."
"Good," Wonwoo commented in the middle of it.
"But they also haven't forgotten about your little fight, remember that." He pointed a strict finger at the oldest one in the room.
Another reason, why Jihoon and Jeonghan had been asked to be seen in front of the judge alone was 'for their own safety'. After the last encounter all of you had in court ended in Wonwoo and Chanyeol almost beating each other up, the judge, Miss Kang, had sent out individual emails, asking the lawyers to visit her on their own. The last sitting would be with everyone again though.
"I have the feeling that the jury is definitely on our side, but the judge might ask about the fight and possible anger issues," Jihoon continued to explain.
Wonwoo scoffed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "What do anger issues have to do with any of this?! And if anyone has anger issues, it's that fucking idiot Park, alright?!"
The younger one of the two and you looked at each other in silence, also sharing a quick look with Mingyu, before turning towards the CEO. A tight smile made its way onto your face, but the awkward silence hung heavily in the room. Wonwoo glanced at Jihoon first, before desperately looking at Mingyu and you. With a deep breath, he decided to sit back down.
"I have anger issues only when it comes to him."
-
Getting into Wonwoo's car the day of the last court sitting almost felt like every other time you had done it. The sequence was the same. He'd text you, he was on his way. Once he arrived, he'd ring the number of your apartment and you'd let him in. You'd leave your front door open, so he could come in once he reached your floor while getting your bag ready and possibly doing some finishing touches on your makeup. Days where you had spent the previous night at his place were slightly different. After having breakfast together at his dining table, and brushing your teeth, Wonwoo would get ready in the morning to chauffeur you to your apartment. He'd patiently wait in your living room while you got ready in your bedroom. He had offered to keep some things at his apartment already, yet you declined, assuring yourself of not moving too quickly by still getting ready for the day in your own room. Having a toothbrush and stuff to sleep in at his place was enough for you for the time being.
Your focus was solely on your phone as you texted Mingyu your whereabouts, asking him if he had already made his way over to the courthouse. Nervously, you had also texted Jihoon, keeping him updated with every street you got closer and closer.
The sudden touch of a hand on your knee made you look up. "Stop." Wonwoo had put his hand on you, stopping your leg from violently shaking. "You have no reason to be nervous, we got this."
"That's easier said than done," you scoffed. "They could destroy us. They could've something planned and we wouldn't know."
"Could you check the glove compartment, please?" Wonwoo got your attention, making you raise your head at his sudden question after enjoying the silence in the car.
"Hm?" You hummed.
With a quick glance at you and a nod towards the storage unit in his car, he repeated his question. "The glove compartment. I got a letter from my mum yesterday, and I put it in there. She texted me and said it was for both of us." With a swift one-handed move, you rounded the corner.
"For us?" You wondered confused, reaching forward to open the compartment.
He shrugged. "I don't know."
You got the letter in your hands, immediately noticing the pastel pink envelope, chuckling to yourself. Jeon Chaewon's role as one of the most feminine old-fashioned ladies you had ever met was no joke.
Careful not to destroy the paper too much, you opened the letter, getting the piece of paper out of the envelope when two extra pieces fell into your lap - slightly smaller than the letter itself. You decided to take a look at them first. After turning them around, you gasped. Your hand fell to your mouth before a chuckle erupted from your lungs.
"What?" A quick glance at Wonwoo made Wonwoo's eyebrows shoot up, only to calm down again once he noticed your amusement.
You couldn't help but bite down on your lip as you showed him the plane tickets. "Your mum's sending us to Paris?" Throwing the question into the room as you were still confused, now directing your attention to the letter, reading through the lines she wrote.
"Oh," you exclaimed. "There's a business even in Paris. She wants us to go." Reading the last sentence got another chuckle out of you. "She said, P.S.: If you want to take Mingyu along as well, I can get you another ticket, but think about that carefully."
"Aaah," Wonwoo nodded, stopping at a red light, letting his elbow rest by the window as he glanced to your side. "She told me about this before she left." He reached out to read through the letter himself. "But I didn't know she already booked tickets for us."
"And a hotel," you added.
"A hotel too?" He wondered, looking at you as you leaned over the middle console to point towards the sentence where she had mentioned the hotel you'd be staying in.
Wonwoo sighed, "Jesus..." With his focus still on the handwriting of his mother, he forgot about the illuminating lights ahead of you.
You glanced up as the green light hit your eyes. "It's green," you pointed out, snatching the letter out of his hand, so he'd put his focus back on the road.
Wonwoo noticed you had gone quiet, while your eyes were on the tickets and the letters. "Do you want to go?" He asked.
You looked up at him, putting all the pieces of paper back together into the envelope. "I think now is not really the right time to think about a Paris trip, to be honest."
"But it's a business trip."
"Yeah," you chuckled. "But to Paris." You continued to look at him, waiting for him to meet your eyes. He exchanged glances with you for a short moment, his lips curling up the slightest amount.
"Yes. As a business trip," he repeated, making you chuckle. "So, do you wanna go?" He asked you again, keeping you in his view as you reached another red light for a few seconds.
With a deep breath in, you shrugged your shoulders, keeping the envelope in your grip as your bag was still in the backseat. "Sure, why not. We should do it for your mum if she requested it."
"For my mum?" Wonwoo chuckled, making you nod.
"Yeah," you cleared your throat. "I mean, if she already booked everything, it would be rude not to go. And like you said, it's a business trip for an event, so... that would be good, right?"
He nodded. "Right."
For a second, you stayed silent before speaking up again, noticing how much closer you had gotten to the courthouse.
"Should we ask Mingyu if he'd want to come as well?"
"God no," Wonwoo was quick to answer with a huff. He took a quick look at you, a grin already spreading on his lips. "Somebody's gotta keep the company in check while we're gone, right?"
With a smile, you nodded along with him. "Mm, you're right." Before both of you fell into another round of comfortable silence while the smile never left your lips, biting down to hide it.
You turned your head to glance outside of the window, watching the buildings pass before Wonwoo took the last right turn to enter the parking lot.
-
Exiting the car and walking towards the main entrance of the courthouse, you were suddenly attacked by a group of men and women clinging onto their notebooks.
"Miss Yoon! Do you think, you will win!"
"Mister Jeon, are you confident for the trial today?"
"Is it true that Mister Park was a bad ex-boyfriend?"
"Is this all a publicity stunt to get more attention and build up your company, Mister Jeon?"
"Was the judge bribed by Mister Park and Mister Oh?"
With shock written all over your face, you came to a sudden halt, the grip on your bag strap tightening. Wonwoo, who was right behind you, hot on your heels, was quick to reach around you, pulling you in closer towards his body as soon as he heard the first words being shouted at the two of you. The cold glare of the CEO didn't stop the journalists from coming closer, pestering you with even more questions. The sudden attention overwhelmed you as you stumbled up the stairs towards the main entrance, where Jihoon was already waiting for you, holding the door open, and ushering you to move faster. As soon as your feet crossed the ledge, he closed the doors.
"Get a life!" He shouted at the mass, as they groaned in synch, turning back around and separated into individual groups again.
Still in shock, you turned around, not noticing the hand still on your body, not meaning to let go any time soon. 
"What the hell was that?!" You exclaimed, brushing through your hair the wind had messed up slightly.
Jihoon groaned, walking past you, making the two of you follow him together as he started explaining. "I don't know who called them. Last week only two of them were here, but Jesus..."
"But why are journalists so interested in this? It's not like this is a national scandal-"
"Not national, but within the corporate world, this is quite big. Park's company might be about to break, and everyone wants in on that," Jihoon explained as you were catching your breath again, finding Mingyu's tight smile as he stood by the door of the courtroom, patiently waiting for you.
"Or maybe they're here to watch the Jeon empire collapse." A sudden all-too-familiar voice caught you off guard. Turning around, you were met with the mischievous eyes you've known for oh so long. "How tragic would that be," Jeonghan smirked at you three, his hand deep in his pocket as he casually walked up to you.
"We'll see about that," the lawyer snapped back.
Seeing the cheeky smile that had been haunting you for weeks made your heart race in anger as you bit down on your tongue, knowing every word you'd give off yourself could be turned against you. Without another comment, you turned around and rushed over to Mingyu in quick steps, greeting him with a hug, forgetting about Wonwoo and Jihoon, who decided to join you, leaving your cousin in the middle of the corridor before he disappeared around the corner again.
"Where's he going?" The younger CEO wondered, nudging his head towards the direction Loki had just left in.
Wonwoo shrugged, "Who knows."
"Probably consoling Park and Oh about some last-minute stuff," Jihoon took the word, glancing at you three. "Is everything clear with you guys? Any questions?"
Mingyu and you shook your heads as the oldest answered for all of you.
"No, let's get this shit over with." Speaking from your soul.
-
The four of you were directed towards your designated table on the left side of the room with Jihoon on the far right, closest to the middle of the room, followed by Wonwoo to his left, then you, and Mingyu was seated next to you. The rest of the room was empty, apart from the court reporter who was setting up her station and the security man by each door. As the trial was private, no public interests were allowed in the room. Even with the silence filling it, neither one of you even dared to open your mouth, knowing better than to let anything get to you.
The entrance door opened, the voices of the three people entering immediately bounced off the walls. They may have tried to whisper, but God knows they were terrible at it.
"Good morning," Jeonghan bowed to each security guard with a smile on his face, his followers copying him. As they passed your group, your cousin also sent a grin towards you, Chanyeol opted for a smug nod of his head while Sehun was seen with a genuine tight smile.
Exodus' CEO leaned back in his chair as soon as they all sat down, a loud sigh coming from him, making you close your eyes and take a deep breath in annoyance.
"Aaah," he moaned. "What a beautiful day today is, right guys? How terrible it would be to ruin that for someone." He took a quick look at your table, meeting Wonwoo's glare, but it only made Chanyeol chuckle.
You continued your prayers inside your head to let this pass quickly, followed by praying for his downfall and that he may please rot in a cell and never feel the touch of another human being ever again. He deserved nothing else.
Paranoid, you turned around to make sure your bag was still hanging over the back of your chair. After finding it right where you left it, your train of thought was interrupted.
"The jury will now enter!" A voice echoed through the room, making all of your heads look straight ahead to where the door opened. You could tell, not one of you had thought the trial would start so suddenly. The people who would make up the jury and would eventually be part of the reason for either your victory or downfall today entered the room. None of them even dared to lock eyes with any of you. Everyone kept their heads down until they were seated.
"All rise!" The voice spoke up again, making all of you act responsively as you stood up in synch, the sound of your chairs screeching against the floor slashing through your ear canal.
The door on the very far right side in front of you opened, revealing Miss Kang, the judge that had been assigned to your case. She greeted everyone in the room with a kind smile, making her warm presence light up the room. She was one of the good people within the law enforcement sector of the country, you just knew it. She'd trust you. Right?...
Judge Kang sat down on the big leathered chair, organising the stacks of paper in front of her, before taking a deep breath. 
"This court is now in session, you may be seated," she called out into the room. Each person followed her demand, taking a seat again, nudging their chairs closer towards the table in front of them.
"We've got quite beautiful weather today, so let's not make this complicated, alright? I think we all want to enjoy the few rays of sunshine," she tried to lighten up the aura of the courtroom, clearly noticing the heavy tension daunting on all of you. Quiet chuckles could be heard, following her comment, smiling faces gazing up at her.
She looked down at her papers. "Alright, we call the case 7.4.2-8 in which Oskan & Co. has been charged with theft and stolen copyright by Exodus Entertainment. Is the plaintiff ready?" She directed her eyes to the right table.
"Yes, Your Honour," Jeonghan answered her politely. The pitch of his voice could send a shiver down your spine almost in an instant. Laced with pretentiousness. You had to remind yourself not to react. Not even the smallest muscle on your face was supposed to move.
Unfaced, she then turned towards you. "Is the defence ready?"
Jihoon nodded confidently, "Yes, your honour."
"Good," she smiled again. "We'll first hear the opening statement from the defence, just to freshen up everyone's memory since it's been a while since we have all gathered here, right? Defendant lawyer, Lee Jihoon, please lay out the facts."
-
Breaks were forgotten. The trial was in full motion. One after the other was asked to come forward, sit down and get questioned by their own lawyer, followed by getting torn to shreds by the lawyer of the opposite party. Judge Kang had let Jihoon decide whether he'd want to start questioning one of you first somebody from the plaintiff - he chose to bring out Mingyu. 'Let's start with a defence, not attack', you remembered him saying.
Jeonghan followed by questioning Wonwoo. Picking people apart psychologically was one of his strongest character traits, he was raised by one of Korea's greatest manipulators after all. But his new approach confused you. Unlike the way you had seen him before, he was soft-spoken with the CEO. Nudging his answers out one by one while keeping a low tone. He must've known just how much Wonwoo would usually react to somebody talking to him like he was as stupid as they could come, but he kept it cool. It surprised all of you. He continued nodding politely, excusing himself every now and then, keeping his sharp tongue in the back of his throat, and never declining Jeonghan's accusations directly. Just like you had practised. The words 'No, this didn't happen' never once fell. Wordings like 'Not exactly', 'As far as I know', and 'To my understanding', were the only ones to ever hit your ear. If all calculated correctly, it must've left a good impression on the judge and jury.
Jihoon opted to get Chanyeol out of his seat next. What Jeonghan could do, he could only do better. He had the receipts.
He started out civil and collected. Asking questions about his whereabouts the night of the break-in, followed by general questions about the company, as they were slowly diverted to subject his private life. His hobbies, and how he would spend his weekdays and weekends if work was out of the question. Jeonghan tried his best to object to each question that wasn't concerning the case directly, but you better bet Jihoon had the perfect explanation for each of his statements ready to roll off his tongue. Every time your cousin shot out of his chair, his voice echoing through the room loud and clear, he was asked to sit down just as quickly.
Chanyeol was asked to stay seated as Jeonghan switched places with the other lawyer in the room, opening his mouth to defend his client as best as he could. If only it wasn't for Jihoon doing a much better job in the first place.
You let your eyes glide across the room. Focused on Miss Kang, you watched her take note after note, marking her own thoughts and questions down as the trial proceeded. Further on the right, the jury seemed invested. Some nodded along with each word coming from Jeonghan, while others scrunched up their faces as soon as Chanyeol would even just take a breath before coming up with an answer. It almost made you chuckle. You couldn't see Sehun unless you'd lean back, but you decided against it. It might direct unwanted attention to your action. You were about to glance at the security guard on the left side of the room when the sound of your name hit your ear.
Your head shot towards Jeonghan.
"To my understanding, you were in a committed relationship with one of the defendants." His steps came to a halt right in front of Exodus' CEO. Before he could even open his mouth, Jihoon hastily pushed his chair back.
"Objection, your honour! Privilege! To my understanding, we had decided to leave private relationships out of this trial if not directly connected." Each one of you knew that there was only a hint of truth in his statement since you were all convinced most of this trial was indeed directly connected to the bon you had once shared with the other man.
Judge Kang nodded. "You are correct about that, Mister Lee." She turned her attention to her left, but Jeonghan took the first word.
"Your honour, but doesn't the defendant being a past lover of my client not seem like a direct connection to the case? The fact that Mister Park's work has been stolen by the company partially led by a grieving past significant other must look like less of a coincidence and more like an act of revenge." How dare he use the words 'significant other'.
Miss Kang couldn't help but sigh as she took a quick look at Jihoon, an apologetic expression daunting on her face before she nodded. "Yes, Mister Yoon. You may continue. But try to keep emotional descriptions out of your statements, please," she advised him.
Jihoon lowered his head, taking a deep breath, "Shit." His mumble suddenly got your heart to skip up. You could feel it starting to pump much harder than before. In no possible way was his reaction a good sign. Wonwoo immediately noticed the change in atmosphere, turning towards you, to catch your side profile as you had closed your eyes and held your head down, trying to block out any of the words coming from Jeonghan or Chanyeol.
"The relationship was mostly very peaceful. I mean, just like every other couple, we had our quarrels and misunderstandings, but not much more than that." With a fake sigh, he looked at the jury, trying to paint his eyes with as much pain as possible before he continued. "Towards the end... it did get bad though... you know, I was always told that jealousy was healthy, at least a little bit, but it became quite extreme."
"From Miss Yoon?" Jeonghan nudged him.
"Yes," Chanyeol nodded. "I think me deciding to end things possibly left her in quite a hole-"
Jihoon shot up again. "Objection! Hearsay, your honour."
The judge nodded, "Sustained. Mister Park, please don't interpret any of the defendant's emotions. Just answer Mister Yoon's questions directly." Her reaction made the CEOs smile. She nodded at Jihoon as he sat back down with a quick bow.
Jeonghan took a deep breath. "I would just like to ask the jury to take Mister Park's side of this story into consideration."
"I'm sure they will, Mister Yoon." Miss Kang sent him a tight smile before leaning back in her chair.
Jeonghan dismissed himself as Exodus' CEO was asked to sit down by the table again.
It was now or never.
Only a year ago, you would tell yourself it wasn't worth it to fight back. That Chanyeol was much more powerful than you. Whatever you'd say would be just pushed under the rug. No one would care what you'd have to say. But not now. You had three people right next to you, ready to support whatever you would be stating out there. You had a judge who would patiently listen to you. There was an entire jury that was possibly still undecided. But most importantly, you had yourself and the truth. You had the facts. You knew what was right and what was wrong. Why should the bad guys win just because you didn't even dare to stand up? Too many times, people have let moments like these just pass. Not again. Not now. They couldn't win. You wouldn't let them win. This was for all the women he had hurt. Each woman that decided against facing him in court, but was strong enough to give their statements. You couldn't let them down. They helped you to get so far, now it was your turn.
"Well then," Miss Kang's voice glided through the room. "If there's nothing else to say anymore, I-"
"Excuse me, you honour." Suddenly you could feel each pair of eyes on your form. Each member of the jury had their face turned towards you. Judge Kang's eyebrows raised at the surprised interruption. Sehun, Chanyeol, and Jeonghan unexpectedly looked up, shock written all across their face. Mingyu and Jihoon had lifted their heads to look at you while Wonwoo's hand subconsciously had reached out right, ready to pull you back, unsure of what you were getting yourself into and surprised by your sudden exclaim.
"Yes, Miss Yoon?"
You swallowed the forming gulp in your throat. "I... I still would like to say something. Mister Lee still has to question me."
She nodded. "Of course, would you like to come out?" With her palm, she motioned to the witness stand seat to her left, to which you agreed, pushing your chair back gently before getting the bag off the back. Opening it, the folder you were looking for was already smiling at you. You got it out, opened it to get what you needed and made your way forward. As you passed Jihoon, who had stood up, you came to a halt.
"Ask me everything," you met his eyes. "Every little thing you need to know to win this, okay?"
Your eyes may have fooled you, but you could almost see fear forming in the man's eyes as he took the paper you had given him, nodding at you as he still tried to comprehend what you were asking of him. With big steps and a proud stance, you held your shoulders straight and made your way over to the witness stand seat.
You took a deep breath as soon as you sat down to calm your nerves that, you were sure, would not vanish any time soon.
"Miss Yoon," Jihoon's voice made you straighten your back as you looked up. All eyes were on you. Your heart was threatening to pump out of your chest at this point. You ignored all the other people in the room. You tried to. Keeping your eyes on the lawyer, that's what he had told you. "How would you describe your relationship with Mister Park?"
"Objection!" Jeonghan shot up from his chair. "Asked and answered."
"Not from Miss Yoon," Jihoon turned towards their table as the Judge agreed with him.
"Overruled. The defendants have yet to speak about this matter. You were given the opportunity, now it's their turn." Explaining the definition of fairness. "Mister Lee, please continue."
"Thank you, Your Honour." Jihoon sent in an encouraging smile. "So Miss Yoon, how would you describe your relationship with Mister Park?"
"Pretty normal in the beginning. Quiet. Private."
"In the beginning?"
You clutched the edge piece of one of the papers in front of you. "Yes."
"Could you please go into detail why only in the beginning?"
"Objection!" Jeonghan called out once again. "Leading question-"
"Overruled," Miss Kang interrupted him before he could even continue. "The defendant specifically mentioned 'in the beginning', so Mister Lee has the right to question her further. Please continue, Miss Yoon." Making the other lawyer sit back down with a sigh and you nod.
"Well... ehm...," you were well aware of your pauses possibly only bringing negative attention onto you, yet you couldn't help it as you tried to form the right sentences in your head. "It seemed like a perfectly normal relationship at first, but... I noticed that his behaviour started changing."
"Changing? In what way?"
"Objection! Compound question."
Judge Kang sighed into the microphone. "Overruled. Mister Lee repeated one word, then followed up with his actual question. Please continue."
You took a deep breath, waiting for Jihoon's assuring nod to answer.
"At first, it started out as jealousy. Or so I thought... later on, about a few months into the relationship... it turned into... something more controlling."
"Could you elaborate on that?" He wondered kindly.
"Yes...," you answered, glancing down at the pieces of evidence you were holding in your hands. Copies of which Jihoon had in his own grip. "At first, he asked me to not leave the house without him- I'm sorry, I meant the apartment we shared." Jihoon nodded along. "Whenever I wouldn't obey to that or... other times when I'd get home later than expected from work... he...," you took a pause. Gulped. Took a shaky breath. Not here. "He would get... really angry."
"How would he show his anger?" He was asking you each question softly, carefully. Understanding the sensitivity as soon as his eyes had landed on the file.
Almost bored, Jeonghan raised his hand, "Objection! Relevance."
Jihoon turned towards the judge. "I think, if we hear my client out, we'd see how relevant her answer is in comparison to Mister Park's comments about their past relationship."
Judge Kang nodded. "I agree. Overruled. Miss Yoon, please continue."
Another unstable breath left your lips. "It was- I mean, differently. At first... it was screaming. Then..." You hadn't even bothered putting on nail polish, so you only had your nails left to pick at. "Then... he'd start to... get physical... sometimes... yeah," you whispered at the end.
"Was there any time you felt truly threatened by Mister Park?"
"Yeah...," you admitted. If some jury members had lost interest in the case, at least by now, everyone's attention was back on track. You could hear a hairpin drop. Each breath you took shook the entire room. "There were... occurrences... when I had to go to the hospital. Because... ehm... he..." careful with your words. "He touched me... without my consent."
Biting down on his lip, Jihoon was careful with each word. "Do you have any evidence of this?"
You decided to only nod, as the security kept a close eye on you, noticing you lifting the papers you were clutching onto with your entire being. He went up to you to take them out of your possession, handing them over to the judge as she asked you to continue while going over the doctor's letter. It was the one piece of hospital evidence you had kept from that time. Everything else seemed irrelevant to you as most of the bruises you had showed up with to the hospital could be explained by hitting your knee or arm against furniture. But not this. But there was a second page to it.
"Miss Yoon," Jihoon started again. "You were admitted to the hospital once before, is that correct? Due to a car crash, if I'm not mistaken."
"Yes," you spoke out loud.
"Who was driving the car at that time?"
"Mister Park," you answered honestly, knowing that he was reading every piece of evidence off the paper you had handed to him.
Jihoon nodded, now turning to the woman sitting on the highest chair in the room. "Your honour, if you turn to page two of the piece of evidence you were just handed, you can see the doctor's findings, as well as the police report on page three, after the car crash, involving Park Chanyeol and Yoon Y/N. The police stated it was a crash caused by a drunk driver, that being Mister Park. In which he sustained a mild head injury, while Miss Yoon had to be transported to the hospital due to a broken rib and a bruised leg." After a quick look behind him, he turned back to the judge. "If I'm seeing correctly, this document was signed within the walls of this very courthouse. And yet... it has been deleted completely from Mister Park's file."
You decided to stay quiet. You had done your job. You couldn't even look up, knowing disappointed eyes were probably just waiting for you. You had lied to him. Lied to Wonwoo about the scar on your rib. You had mentioned it was due to an injury from falling at the playground as a kid. He brushed it off to be never spoken about it again. And now this.
"So, the all so happy relationship, Mister Park swore to have had with the defendant... doesn't seem to have been all that peaceful after all. That was all, thank you." He bowed before walking back from his spot, joining Wonwoo and Mingyu by the table again.
The all-along so quiet room suddenly shifted as the jury turned to each other to speak at a normal volume, ignoring the room they were still sitting in. Even Jeonghan, who had held back with his objection towards the end, was quick to turn to Chanyeol, who was already raising his voice, standing up to defend himself.
Before it could all escalate too much, Judge Kang got a hold of her hammer, pounding it against the wood to calm the room. "Quiet!" Each person reacted instantly, getting back into their seats, with their eyes on her.
"We will take a ten-minute break. In the meantime, I will go over these documents. The jury is advised to console each other, but not yet come to a conclusion. We will go over everything after the short break, okay? You're dismissed." With one final hit of the hammer, almost everyone stood up. The jury left the room immediately. Chanyeol had pushed himself off the chair aggressively, rushing out as Jeonghan was hot on his heel. Miss Kang passed you quietly while you stood back up, trying to find your breath to face your group of people again.
Before you had even reached them, Jihoon was already in front of you. "What was that? Are you okay?" But you only nodded. "Are you sure?" He asked again. This time, you smiled.
"Yeah..." a faint whisper left your lips as you could suddenly feel your chest lifting again. The tears that had formed vanished all of a sudden, leaving you with a lighter chest and satisfaction rushing through your body.
"Wh-" Mingyu tried to jump into the conversation, but the lawyer stopped him.
"We should maybe continue this outside."
You all nodded along with him, getting ready to leave the room for the break when a voice behind you made you turn around.
"Y/N." Sehun called out for you. He leaned against the desk slightly awkwardly, not knowing what to do with his hands as he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." If only he knew how much he had helped you. With two big steps, you stopped right in front of him, not even giving him a second to react as you threw your arms around him, pulling him in. He seemed to be taken aback, but you quickly felt his hand patting your back, making you lean back, leaving him to breathe freely again.
"Thank you," you smiled at him before turning back to the three other men who were patiently waiting for you.
-
The three of you had been standing and sitting around in the hallway of the courthouse for the past three minutes and Wonwoo was yet to say something. Jihoon had exclaimed his concerns for you, Mingyu had asked you around ten times if you were truly okay and after assuring him that you had truly never felt better, he had decided to sit down next to you. The CEO was still standing by the wall, looking straight ahead while not really focusing on anything in particular.
As the lawyer and the second CEO had fallen into a conversation, you chose to leave them alone and join Wonwoo. Standing up, you patted down invisible creases on your blouse, getting closer and closer to him with each step you took. Instead of joining him by standing at his side, you stopped right in front of him.
Looking up, he didn't even dare to meet your eyes. He just continued to stare straight ahead. There was an unreadable expression on his face, making you want to step around him as carefully as possible to not disturb whatever was going on in his head. As cold as the entire building of the old courthouse was, the only chill rushing down your spine was due to his glance.
As soon as you tried to open your mouth, he beat you to it. 
"Why didn't you tell me?" At the same time, he lowered his gaze towards you, meeting your pleading eyes, begging him to talk to you. "About what he did."
With a sigh, you let your head hang as you looked to the ground. With a deep breath, you got the courage to speak to him as you interlocked your glances. "I told you, I wanted to forget everything involving him."
"Yeah, but you can't just forget something like that."
"Well, I tried, okay?!" You suddenly found yourself with a raised voice, surprising both of you, as well as Mingyu and Jihoon, who took a quick look at the two of you but continued their conversation once Wonwoo's cold eyes met theirs. "You really think I want to dwell on such a horrible memory of a man? He was a person I once trusted, and he used that trust and misused me! Of course, I'd want to forget that!" You hissed a breath in and out, lowering your voice again. "But what kind of person would I be if I had just let him portray himself as a victim while fifteen other women made a statement about him sexually harassing them... huh? I was able to live with what happened to me, but he... he hurt SO MANY other women... I- I couldn't just let that pass. If none of them wants to face him, fine. But I have the chance, and don't take it?..." With a sigh, you ended your rant. "I couldn't live with myself after that."
He let the silence linger between you for a short moment as he straightened his back, looking at you again. "How long have you planned on doing this? Why didn't you involve me? Or Jihoon at least? Or for whatever reason maybe even Mingyu?"
"Up until that idiot opened his mouth to talk about me, I wasn't even sure that I was going to do it. But... I had to. And I had to do it alone. Do you know how good that feels now?" A chuckle of relief tumbled from your lips as you couldn't hold back your smile. "They have every piece of evidence they need to... fine him, take away his company, put him behind bars or God knows what."
"Come here," he whispered as he took a step forward and opened his arms. You didn't move though. You continued to stand still, your arms crossed in front of your chest as you glanced up at him.
"I don't want a hug." Your comment told him that you would still be mad at him for not understanding your reasoning. But that didn't stop him. With another step, he had invaded your room, engulfing you in the warmth of his arms you had come to find comfort in during so many nights. Once he noticed you weren't moving, he leaned down just a slight bit closer to your ear.
"I'm proud of you," he spoke quietly, making sure only you would be able to hear those words he had chosen for just you. "But I was worried."
With a sigh, you gave in, wrapping your arms around his slim, yet muscle-packed, torso, getting a relieved sigh from him in return.
Before any of you were able to truly enjoy the short moment of intimacy, Mingyu's loud voice rang through your ears.
"Group hug!" With heavy steps, he rushed over to you two, throwing his big arms over your shoulders, underestimating his weight, making you grunt out loud. You could feel Wonwoo's annoyance radiating off him, to which you couldn't help but chuckle, which was quickly joined by Jihoon doing the exact same.
"You don't even know if we won and yet you're celebrating." He approached you with his hands hiding in his pockets, watching you with bright eyes and a wide grin.
"Who cares if we won," Mingyu commented, almost getting interrupted by his best friend, who opened his mouth but was stopped by the slightly bigger man. "Y/N got to say what she needed to say. Park will get what he deserves. Whether that involves our case or not, I really don't care at this point, to be honest."
With a deep sigh, the older man nodded. "That's very cute and I understand that, and Y/N, you know that I support you, but I still have a job here to finish and if we don't win this case... you can fire me."
"We won't fire you," Wonwoo, now behind you, with his palm once again placed comfortably on your lower back.
"No, no," Jihoon glanced at him. "I am begging you to fire me if we don't win this, do you understand me?" Getting a roll of his eyes from the older CEO, while Mingyu just chuckled, patting the smaller man's shoulder assuringly.
Your exchange of words was interrupted by one of the security men that had been standing inside throughout the entire sitting, who was suddenly standing in the hallway.
"Judge Kang is asking you to come back inside, we'll continue." The four of you nodded in synch, each taking one last deep breath in. One last time. Hopefully.
But before any of you could even take one step forward, a shrill voice called out.
"Hold on! Just a minute!" Jeonghan rushed towards you from around the corner, your eyes quickly finding his. "Y/N, a word, please." Motioning at you to follow him.
Your eyebrows shot up at the sudden demand. In what world did he imagine you'd go out of your way to suddenly follow his lead.
"Whatever you have to say to her, you can say here as well." Wonwoo's deep voice vibrated through your entire body. You noticed the microscopic step he took closer as you felt his chest brush against your arm.
Jeonghan shook his head, clearly irritated by the men surrounding you. "Could I please talk to my cousin in private?" Looking straight at the man behind you, expecting another snark from him, when you spoke up.
"No." You crossed your arms in front of your chest in defence. Your body knew which stance to take in right away.
He had betrayed you. You hadn't heard from him in years before you met him in the courtroom again. And out of all the people there were in the world, he chose to support the man you had sworn off your life. The man with the name you had tried to scratch out of every piece of skin on your body that he had touched. A betrayer, a traitor, and a manipulator. That's who Jeonghan was. Quite fitting to Chanyeol. Two fucked-up halves that would make a deadly whole.
"I'm sorry."
...
...
With quiet stares, each one of you looked straight ahead. No one was fully sure of what words had just hit their ear. The movement of his mouth could've possibly been an illusion. That seemed more likely than an actual apology coming from his lips.
"What?" You were the one to break the silence. Instinctively, Wonwoo's hand travelled to the left, his fingers gently curling around your waist.
The step Jeonghan took forward was welcomed as none of you decided to move backwards, letting him know he could continue.
He sighed. "I... I didn't know... about... you know... that." With a stressed breath in, he continued. "When I took on this case, he told me the exact same thing he had told you and the judge. With our history, it didn't take much convincing for me. I knew you and him were... yeah- anyways- but... I swear, I had no idea."
Still unphased by his apology, he resumed his ramble.
"I know you don't think much of me, but not even I would go this low to support someone like that.. and I know that... that- this apology or whatever probably won't mean anything to you-"
"Good that you know that," Wonwoo commented, but Jeonghan chose to ignore him.
"But I mean it. He just confessed everything to me. This is the first time I'm hearing about all of this... and... I can't- and I won't support that. I don't need you to forgive me, I know that won't happen instantly. But I swear to God, Y/N, you can think whatever you want of me, but please don't ever think I'd ever support a guy like that." He took another step forward. "When the accident happened, I heard that you got hit by a drunk driver. Not that... he was the drunk driver."
Still, no words from you, nor Mingyu or Jihoon.
"Anyway," Jeonghan sighed and got ready to turn around, the open doors still waiting for all of you. "I'm sorry." With those last words, he disappeared again, leaving your party in the cold hallway. In silence.
"Oh, wow..."
You couldn't hold back your scoff as you took a step forward, letting Wonwoo's hand drop to his side.
"He didn't mean any of that." You rolled your eyes.
"Huh?" Mingyu's eyebrows shot up as he glanced at you, his puppy eyes reflecting the light perfectly.
"You can't believe anything coming from that guy's mouth." You explained, still not entertaining the possibility of there being any good intentions behind your cousin's actions.
The younger CEO was still confused. "Then why did he say he was sorry?"
"To manipulate us maybe? Make us feel guilty? Give in?" Jihoon thought out loud, joining you and turning around to face the other two men. "Y/N, I wouldn't believe anything he said. She would know." Everyone nodded in synch.
Wonwoo nudged his head towards the door, where the security man was still waiting for you. "Let's get this over with."
-
Each person involved was back in the room. Exodus Entertainment was on the right table, while you and the guys were sitting on the left one. The jury of the very far right side, sitting along the wall was already gazing at you - excitement and interest radiating off them. Judge Kang was back in her seat, her glasses low on the bridge of her nose as she quietly went through the papers in front of her again, which seemed to have gotten more over the break.
If you thought your heart had been pumping hard earlier, while you were seated on the witness stand, it was safe to say, it was about to explode once you had entered the room again. Right where you had left your fear behind.
"Alright," Miss Kang started, taking off her glasses with a deep breath as she let her fingers rake through her hair. "Before we start, does the plaintiff or the defendant have anything to say? You may speak now."
You exchanged glances with Jihoon, who shook his head, telling you to keep low, but your attention was quickly taken away once Jeonghan left his chair to stand up, buttoning his suit jacket and raising his hand.
"Your Honour."
Miss Kang sighed with a forced smile. "Yes, Mister Yoon?"
"May I come forward?"
"Yes, you may."
Each pair of eyes in the room followed him as you abandoned the confused faces of Sehun and Chanyeol, making his way to the middle of the room and the podium. Either time moved painfully slowly, or he moved in slow motion, but either way, the pace was too slow, and you could feel the scream of frustration boiling up in your throat.
Jeonghan cleared his throat and straightened his back. Here we go.
"Your Honour. After consoling my client, we have come to an agreement that I would like to exclaim now."
"Please do," the judge commented on his statement.
"My client, Exodus Entertainment, would like to withdraw their lawsuit against Oksan & Co."
The room fell quiet. This lasted for a second before the next round of tumult rushed through it.
"Excuse me, Mister Yoon?" Miss Kang raised her voice in order to speak over the hushed sounds coming from the jury on the right side. Your eyes were frantically moving from side to side, trying to catch any reaction so you'd know which one to share.
"With immediate effect, Exodus Entertainment takes back each claim made against the defendant Oksan & Co."
Your head immediately shot to Jihoon who kept his gaze straight on Jeonghan, his mouth slightly agape as he was still trying to grasp the situation.
"What's going on here?" You could hear Mingyu whisper from your left, only to be interrupted by the loud voice of Chanyeol slashing through the uproar.
"Your honour-"
Jeonghan cut him off. "My client, Park Chanyeol, also pledges guilty to the charges made against him-"
The sudden knock of wood-on-wood, thanks to the Judge's hammer, let the room calm down again. Chanyeol chose to keep standing up while Sehun leaned back in his chair, a faint smirk making its way onto his face. The jury immediately quieted down along with your group, who still had to let more words drop than Mingyu just had. Jeonghan stood still on the podest.
"Mister Yoon," with the hammer still in her hand, Miss Kang started talking. "Are you aware of what you are doing right now? This will have an immediate effect."
"Yes, your Honour. I am very sorry for the waste of time and patience."
"Your Honour!" Chanyeol raised his hand hastily. "May I speak to my lawyer for a second?"
"Oh," your cousin lowered his head slightly, his voice loud and clear echoing through the speakers. "With immediate effect, I am also withdrawing from my role as Mister Park's lawyer. Thank you." Without another word, Jeonghan took a step back and turned around. After a quick glance in your direction and a tight smile, he passed your tables, only to take a seat on one of the benches behind you, usually preserved for public interests.
Judge Kang didn't even try to hide the amusement making her lips curl into a grin.
"Wow," she chuckled lowly, "Well," she cleared her throat, intertwining her fingers on top of the wooden surface. "Mister Park, you don't seem to have a lawyer to talk to anymore. Anything else you'd like to say?"
You zoned out whatever sorry excuse of an answer he gave her as you turned around, finding Jeonghan's eyes already boring a hole into your head.
"What are you doing?" You whispered, hoping he'd be able to read your lips. You only got a small smile and a nod in return.
"Mister Park-"
"This is a shitshow! What kind of fucking bullshit is this here?!"
"Mister Park, let m-"
"How the fuck is he even allowed to do that?!"
"Mister-"
"I swear to God, I will fucking sue every-"
"Security!" 
Miss Kang's final string of patience officially broke as she called out for one of the men on the side to step in. They acted quickly as two rushed up to each side of Chanyeol's big form which had made its way to the middle of the courtroom, getting dangerously close to the judge.
"You can't do-"
"I can, and I did," she simply told him, making him shut his mouth immediately before she quickly continued, putting her glasses back on as she read out loud. "Mister Park, I will see you again in five days as you will be facing twelve charges of sexual harassment, four charges of sexual assault, forgery of state-protected documents, as well as now contempt of court." She sent a smile his way. "We will speak again. Get him out of my courtroom." Before he was pushed out of the room through a door on the left wall.
Only then were you able to realise what had just happened. You could feel everyone take in a deep breath as soon as he had left the courtroom.
"What... what just happened?" Jihoon hushed underneath his breath, his hands placed on the top of his table as he glanced around the room.
"Well," the judge smiled into the crowd. "Each day, you experience something new." She paused for a second before continuing. "May the defendant please rise."
Still slightly out of it, you felt Wonwoo's tug by your elbow, pushing you to stand up. You joined the other three, staring straight ahead as Miss Kang spoke to you.
"With immediate effect, you are acquitted as the lawsuit of theft and forgery filed by Exodus Entertainment has been dropped." She glanced up from her notes to smile at you. "You are excused. Congratulations."
What was she congratulating for? You didn't win...
You didn't lose, but yet you didn't win... at least it didn't feel like you did. This was the end. The end of it all. Why didn't it feel like it?
You must've overheard Jihoon thanking the judge as you were suddenly escorted out of the room, your bag not even on your shoulder, but in Wonwoo's grip as you left the room altogether. Each bench you passed, and even walking through the doors, back into the hallway could almost be described as a fever dream. The sudden turn of tables and twist of fate felt too good to be true and too much for your own body to handle. It didn't feel right.
"What the fuck was that?!" Wonwoo immediately exclaimed the second you had left the room. "What just happened?!"
Jihoon raised his hands in defence, just as speechless as everyone else. "I- I wish I could tell you."
"What was that move from Yoon?" Mingyu interjected, only getting shrugs in return. "So did he mean what he said?" Another round of shrugs.
A nudge on your arm brought you back. "Hey, you okay?" It was Jihoon. You nodded.
"What the hell happened?" You could only repeat what everyone else was also thinking. "Wh-" You stopped yourself as you were still pretty much unable to form full sentences.
Each one of you had their eyes on different corners of the hallway. Mingyu was focused on the wall, his hand continuously running through his hair. Wonwoo had his arms crossed in front of his chest as he walked up and down a short distance along the side. And Jihoon had chosen to sit down, his head in his hand as he took deep and clear breaths in. You were leaning against the wall, eyes switching between each person while you still tried to find the grasp on reality again.
"From my understanding now," the lawyer started. "Jeonghan turned his back on them... I guess... he maybe wasn't lying in the first place?"
"That's impossible," you scoffed.
"Why?" Jihoon wondered.
You shrugged. "Because that's not who he is."
"Is that what you think of me," your cousin's familiar voice made you turn to the side, taking a step back instantly to create a bigger distance between you two. He shook his head with a chuckle. "I know we've never been on good terms, but God... I wouldn't wish stuff like that upon my worst enemy. Why would I celebrate it happening to my cousin?"
"I'm not saying you celebrated it," you stated.
"Alright," he took a step to the side. "And I'm not going to support a fucking asshole as stupid as him." He found your eyes. "I meant what I said. I'm sorry." Maybe one day you'll be able to believe that he's not the total asshole you had always thought he was. Maybe. Just maybe.
He turned around, bowing his head to each one of you before making his way down the hall, leaving the hell of a building in the past.
"Jeonghan!" You stopped him by the call his name, making him turn around. You pushed yourself forward, stopping right next to Wonwoo.
"Thank you." It may not have been much, but at that point in time, it was all you could've given him.
A smile and a nod later your cousin vanished out the doors, the group of journalists you had already forgotten about immediately swarmed him, leaving almost no room to breathe.
It wasn't a lot, but it was a start. A slow one, but a start. With the memory of the past still in the back of your hand, you were able to thank him for what he had done, but that was about it for now. Yes, there was no deeper reason as to why he had done what he did, at least that from where you stood, but the past would still haunt you for quite a while. A past you no longer had to share with the devil himself though. He was brought to justice. You did it. Not you alone, you were very well aware of that. You saw what a group of united people could do. You watched justice get served. The right decisions were made.
"Well then," Wonwoo sighed out loud. "What does that mean for us now?" The question was clearly directed at Jihoon who had made his way to stop in front of you.
He shrugged. "There's still definitely a lot of paperwork due. All the claims were dropped, but I'm gonna make sure there's no involvement of any of you in his future charges, especially with Y/N." You thanked him with a nod. "But for now," he took a deep breath as his lips curled. "I'd say we did it."
"Why doesn't it feel as satisfying as it should be?" Mingyu suddenly wondered as he showed up on your left.
"Once you see him on TV being escorted behind bars, you'll feel it," the lawyer assured him, getting a chuckle from each of you in return.
"Alright," the older CEO clapped his hands after handing you back your over-the-shoulder bag. His eyes travelled to Mingyu, glancing at him over your head.
"Drinks?" The younger one threw into the room, getting a groan of satisfaction from Jihoon in return.
"Oh, fuck yeah!" Shocking you with his choice of words.
You chuckled at the reaction that followed from the others, watching the pep in his step with amusement.
A hand on your shoulder made you look up to your right. The usual so cold eyes, suddenly turned warm, were already looking at you.
"Drinks?" His voice in his usual depth, sent a wave of warmth into your cheeks.
You bit down on your lip, trying to hide the smile on your face. A faint thought erupted from the depths of your memory. Something you had almost dared to forget. 
"There's one more thing I'd like to do."
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Thank you for reading my loves🫶🏼
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kay-elle-cee · 8 months
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I would love to know about James' feelings that time they first meet eyes years later. Directors take OR a James POV 😍
HELLO Athena! Thank you for your patience since I've saved this in my inbox to answer after the final chapter of i'll be fine, i'll be good went live. Answer below the cut! (And a reminder that anyone can ask me for thoughts/Director’s Cut for any of my fics at any time!)
(sorry I tried to refine this but it still ended up a bit word vomity!)
ALRIGHT so we learn in chapter six that James was, in fact, really broken up about Lily for awhile (I mean....that's not particularly a spoiler, is it?). I like to think that by the time James sees Lily—like walking into the shop and having face-to-face interaction with her for the first time since he told her he loved her all those years ago (oh my god ow)—he's really processed everything and made peace with it all. He's had his eyes opened a little bit more by his work with the Order to just how difficult and dangerous it was for her. He's forgiven her, and he understands (to an extent) her actions, but he also knows that because of this he can't really be mad at her, and he just...is trying to be as normal as he can (even though a part of him misses her). So he has to be careful.
He's known she's worked at that apothecary for years. Remus absolutely told him immediately (well, maybe not immediately, but definitely within that first month). And he's likely agonized time and time again on if he should go in, how bad would it be to look through the window, maybe one of us should just, like, make sure she's okay...But then you have Sirius (and to a lesser extent Remus and Peter) reminding James of what kind of toll Lily took on him last time, reminding him that if she wanted to see him, she could reach out, reminding him how far he's come and fuck Evans because she hurt you. And James, even if he doesn't feel Sirius' anger at the whole situation, maybe listens to this, lets it bolster him to keep his resolve hardened and his guard up.
But then he gets paired up with Sam for the potions run. And he definitely panics and feeds her some BS line about him needing to wait outside so they're not ambushed in the shop and she's like whatever you weirdo I'm going to go see this really interesting girl I met and could definitely be friends with YOUR LOSS. And then she's chatting and he's out there just getting so nervous because what if Sam lets it spill to Lily that he's out here and then they get to talking, what would Lily say would Lily be mad would she want to say hi why do I care so much about what Lily thinks? He's done so well at living his life in a post-Lily world but suddenly everytime he's around this shop she's just there on his mind. So he gets a little overwhelmed and opens that little door and tells Sam to hurry up without ever looking in because he knows there's a real possibility that the second he sees Lily (really sees her) this resolve he has might crumble.*
*And I think it's important to note here that I'm not suggesting James would fall to her feet and confess his love with one glance, but he'd be James. He'd be kind (maybe too kind), and he suspects that somewhere in his heart he still loves her and is worried that it'd be too easy to fall back into that pattern after all the work he's done.
But yeah so he and Sam leave and he's in the all clear but then he gets injured in the field and Sam has to leave and suddenly he's in charge of the potions supply runs and he has no other choice—he has to SEE HER. He spends the whole morning fretting, trying to remain calm, trying not to run scenarios through his head and telling himself he can do it, that it's no big deal—he's just a patron and she's just a shopkeep. (He's definitely not looking forward to it, even if he had all of those musings about dipping in and seeing her over the last few years—that's idealistic James and this is practical James.) I think he goes so far as to even try to remember some of the anger he had felt towards her at one point of time—really grasping for anything to make sure and keep that distance between them. But it's this weird thing because Remus told him about the Snape encounter so he's also a little worried about her and it's this tightrope of keeping things professional. Not concerned, not angry, but something neutral in between.
And then he sees her. And he thought he was prepared, and he was so, so wrong. There's pain, when their eyes meet. The last time he looked into them echoes in his mind and there's pain and a little bit of that anger comes back and maybe it's anger at her but maybe it's also a little bit of anger for himself—for not understanding her as well as he feels he should have. But he leans on the anger, only giving her the shortest of answers, and he leaves. And he thinks: I can do this.
And when he gets sent again, he holds onto that anger a bit tighter and tries to ignore the undeniable way his heart beats faster when that bell over the door rings.
Listen I might do a James POV of some scenes one day, if the urge strikes and people are interested, who knows?
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circular-bircular · 1 month
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Sup! I’m not a part of the whole be nice to persecutors squad, but I do rehabilitate persecutors sometimes as an ex-persecutor myself and I would like to hear your thoughts on my opinions (genuinely I am open to change. Ik I'm harsh). This is going to be a long one and I’m sorry if I sound dismissive of other feelings it’s more of a how it all feels to me.
This is all persecutor discussion that may be upsetting. Please read with caution or delete from your inbox as you see fit.
So yes of course persecutors should not be treated like monsters they are a part of a system. They are people (or whatever word refers best to one’s conscious collective) and they deserve love and respect like anyone else. So are the people they hurt though. I feel that’s really forgotten in this positivity around the guy that hurts people.
So in my villain era I just chose to be an asshole. I was pissed at the system and wanted to make their lives hell. Letting me front was a mistake I was purposefully off putting around our friends (no they didn’t bloody deserve it I knew what I was doing. I also wasn’t mean I was off putting, to be clear). I wasn’t a confused protector. I wasn’t protecting us. I made the conscious decision and effort to hurt or disturb anything I came into contact with because I was mad. Not all persecutors are like this but my annoyance is at the whole persecutor positivity that includes people like me.
I didn’t change because the system was nice to me. I wouldn’t have changed because someone got me an ice cream or sympathised with me (and they tried) I changed because I happened to be fronting one night and someone was vulnerable in front of us. I’d been nothing but an asshole up until them but I was trusted because in that moment I wanted to change and trusting that I would try I was allowed to. I masked and helped the guy.
That’s not advice btw that’s just, what happened. No one being nice to me or trying to get me to change made me change it was having room for the decision to change that changed me. Getting mad at me for being an ass, making me say sorry for being an ass and treating me like someone who was an ass didn’t stop me from recovery. I whole heartedly believe that you don’t owe all persecutors kindness.
I was reforming a dipshit and I’ve been nothing but kind to her and she was still a dipshit. She understood she was being a dipshit but was fulfilling a role she thought had to be fulfilled and while I slowly undid that the person she was “tasked” with being a dipshit toward was allowed to be angry and upset and hurl insults back. You should be allowed to feel like you’re protecting yourself.
And finally my most controversial statement. System jail is fine. Locking up parts of your system for being assholes isn’t good for them but when you can no longer take the constant abuse or you have too many other problems that’s fine. I don’t understand the weird obsession with being nice to the bully. In my experience that wont stop em and sometimes there is no space to give them room to change all you can do is protect yourself until there is space.
I’m not a persecutor hater. I’m just an internet guy that says the online advice f being nice ignores the people that get hurt. It’s a nuanced and individual situation. Internet advice does not fix that. I am nice when there’s room to be nice and I believe that prosecutors will heal but the shit they fucking did should not be overlooked.
& If any recovering persecutors are reading this. I see you. You’re on a difficult path. You deserve love and respect and to live life.
This wasn't one of the eaten asks, but I've honestly been trying to work out how to respond to this for a long time. I'm gonna try and break this down for myself. And by that I mean, here's Debbie with the weather.
So yes of course persecutors should not be treated like monsters they are a part of a system. They are people (or whatever word refers best to one’s conscious collective) and they deserve love and respect like anyone else. So are the people they hurt though. I feel that’s really forgotten in this positivity around the guy that hurts people.
Absolutely, anon. The people we've hurt need to be rewarded for the shit they've survived from us. I was a complete and absolute bitch, and I apologize for how much of a bitch I was -- but not for the reasons why I was a bitch. I'm not going to apologize for my trauma. For any persecutors reading this, nobody here is asking you to apologize for who you are. We're just saying, acknowledging that you hurt someone is a good place to start.
So in my villain era I just chose to be an asshole. I was pissed at the system and wanted to make their lives hell. Letting me front was a mistake I was purposefully off putting around our friends (no they didn’t bloody deserve it I knew what I was doing. I also wasn’t mean I was off putting, to be clear). I wasn’t a confused protector. I wasn’t protecting us. I made the conscious decision and effort to hurt or disturb anything I came into contact with because I was mad. Not all persecutors are like this but my annoyance is at the whole persecutor positivity that includes people like me.
Anon, take this whatever way you want, but that to me sounds like protecting your system. I purposefully made myself unpleasant to be around. I fucked with my friends and purposefully pissed them off, not "to protect us UwU" but because they were fucking stupid to be friends with these idiots. The other fuckers in my head were weak, pathetic, and pointless. I pretended to be other parts, just to pull the rug out from under my friends, because god was it easy to, and it was absolutely hilarious to see their reactions. I tortured my other parts innerworld, because god was it fun to make them realize just how pathetic they were, just how much better I was than them. My goal was to get the other parts to kill themselves (what I understood as dormancy after some time) and let me just take charge, because I wanted to live.
And yeah. That's me protecting my system.
Because the more I bashed us, the more I said, "let me take over because I'm better than you," the more I pushed away all my friends... It was the more I "kept us safe" from getting hurt from the outside. Rice won't be hurt if she doesn't exist. Rice won't break down from trauma memories if fill her brain with trauma memories 24/7. Rice won't lose her friends and break down if she has no friends to begin with.
I didn't do that on purpose, of course. I didn't look to help these assholes. I wanted them GONE. But now that I'm reformed, now that I can look back at what a mess I actually was, instead of the perfect being I thought I was, I can understand that all of that was my misguided way of protecting us. Even if I didn't understand that at the time.
I made that conscious decision to hurt, and it was influenced by the unconscious decision to protect.
Now, maybe you really were just a pissy lil bitch who wanted to hurt people, whatever, I really couldn't care less about you. But at the end of the day, alters in DID systems split for a reason -- to cope with trauma and make it bearable to survive through. So regardless of what edgy pre-teen bullshit you're spouting, if you're an alter, you're a form of protector in some way. At least in my eyes.
I didn’t change because the system was nice to me. I wouldn’t have changed because someone got me an ice cream or sympathised with me (and they tried) I changed because I happened to be fronting one night and someone was vulnerable in front of us. I’d been nothing but an asshole up until them but I was trusted because in that moment I wanted to change and trusting that I would try I was allowed to. I masked and helped the guy.
Cool! Glad you worked your shit out. I started getting better because someone was really fucking mean to me. I mean, I had food poisoning, was running out of the room to vomit, and my friend still sat me down for like a 2 hour or so lecture about how I was a fucking awful person and she wouldn't stop lecturing me until I shaped the fuck up and understood why she thought I was bad. That fucking BROKE me.
Being nice to your persecutor is one way. Torturing them after fucking cafeteria mozzarella stick induced food poisoning is another. To each their own, y'know? (Side note, I know you don't follow me here bby but I love you, thank you for slapping the shit out of past me with your words and anger <3)
That’s not advice btw that’s just, what happened. No one being nice to me or trying to get me to change made me change it was having room for the decision to change that changed me. Getting mad at me for being an ass, making me say sorry for being an ass and treating me like someone who was an ass didn’t stop me from recovery. I whole heartedly believe that you don’t owe all persecutors kindness.
I wholeheartedly believe nobody is owed kindness. Kindness is a choice I make -- one that can easily be decided against if it is no longer beneficial to be kind. I owe no loyalty to kindness. I choose to be kind, because why the fuck wouldn't I be, you fucking idiot?
I was reforming a dipshit and I’ve been nothing but kind to her and she was still a dipshit. She understood she was being a dipshit but was fulfilling a role she thought had to be fulfilled and while I slowly undid that the person she was “tasked” with being a dipshit toward was allowed to be angry and upset and hurl insults back. You should be allowed to feel like you’re protecting yourself.
Ok but that was a kind thing to do. Like. That's what I mean when I say to be kind to your persecutors. Letting them BE ANGRY IS A GOOD THING???? So confused why this isn't seen as being kind. You took the time out of your fucking schedule to help give that person a space to be upset and angry. That's kindness. That was a choice.
And finally my most controversial statement. System jail is fine. Locking up parts of your system for being assholes isn’t good for them but when you can no longer take the constant abuse or you have too many other problems that’s fine. I don’t understand the weird obsession with being nice to the bully. In my experience that wont stop em and sometimes there is no space to give them room to change all you can do is protect yourself until there is space.
God you're so fucking hilarious tbh.
Yeah, sure, whatever, system jail is fine, esp in cases like. Where you're still in an abusive situation. That's because you're allowed to make mistakes, and system jail is a mistake. It's perfectly valid and fine while also being really fucking awful and stupid.
The "weird obsession" with being nice to the bully isn't "it will stop them." It's "that's an entire ass part of yourself, stop fucking airing your self-hatred out in public for everyone to see, it's nauseating."
TL;DR: Being kind to your persecutors is a choice. Obviously, it's not one you HAVE to make, but it's highly suggested. The issue is, "kindness" looks different for everyone. For me, it was "kind" to have someone do the equivalent of a guttural scream for 2 hours. For others, it's fru-fru shit that makes them feel all warm and fuzzy. For you, it was just giving someone the time and space to be angry. Making mistakes is okay. Do what you want forever and who even gives a shit? And FFS, OBVIOUSLY, LET'S NOT IGNORE THE VICTIMS OF OUR ABUSE. (But yknow, let's not ignore the fact that persecutors are also victims of abuse and they get blamed for literally every fucking thing jfc).
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astrophileous · 6 months
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Hii 😊 if your up for it could u write an imagine where reader grew up in a musically inclined family and has been hiding it from the bau team but mostly Spencer so he’s never met readers family so when the holidays roll around and readers family comes to visit Spence tells the team he want to meet their family and the team get curious to so they all follow him and show up to readers house to hear their family (reader included) play instruments and singing
(Thank for the consideration 🖤🫡)
Hi anon! First of all, thank you for considering me for this request in the first place, but I regret to inform you that I must reject this request and that I won't be writing anything for it. I will try to explain myself as concisely as possible, but it's still gonna be a long passage so I hope you bear with me. And I encourage my other readers/followers/just fanfic readers in general to read this as well because it's important.
The reason I decided not to write anything for this request is because I just recently stumbled upon a requested fic, written by another author, with an eerily similar plot to this one. There's a chance I'm making a wrong assumption here, but I did ask a friend of mine to compare the two requests, and she also agrees that they are too similar to just be a coincidence. And honestly, I don't appreciate people sending in their requests to me if they're just gonna copy it (with a few tweaks here and there) and send the same ask to another writer's inbox. It's rude. It's disrespectful. And from this point forward, I will be denying ANY request that comes my way if I saw you had already sent the same (or a very similar one) to another author beforehand.
Maybe some of you think this isn't a big deal, but for me, it is. When you send in the same requests to me and multiple other authors, it makes me feel depreciated as a human being. It makes me feel like you view me only as a robot/machine/an AI with no other purpose than to write you fics after fics after fics. I get it, it's harder to perceive someone as another human being when we're all hiding behind our online personas, but just like you and everyone else, all fanfic writers on this platform and I have our own lives. I'm not a fic-producing machine that you can just exchange for another one when you feel like I'm not posting or writing fast enough to your liking.
I know it can be frustrating. I know that some of you might not be as patient to wait longer for authors to publish your requests, but guess what? It's still not an excuse for you to treat us as less than human beings or like we're disposable! Especially when most fanfic writers are doing this FOR FREE. So it shouldn't matter if it takes fanfic writers a week, a month, or a whole year to write something, we still don't owe you anything because it's not like you're paying for us anyway.
I'm a full-time college student in the middle of writing my thesis. I'm running on barely any sleep as it is and as much as I don't want it, writing requests do have to be put on the back burner once in awhile. This is just something you have to accept as fanfic readers. If you can't handle it, then you can literally just take your request to ChatGPT or something and request it to write it for you. I'm not a fan of AI myself, but this is a much better option than just reducing fanfic writers to a fic-producing machine.
So yeah, with that said, I deeply regret that I must deny this request. I'm sorry if I made you wait too long for it, but again, it's still not enough imo to justify what you did. Even if I weren't as busy as I was, requests are still gonna take some time to write—do you know why? Because I always take time to make sure that the contents I post are up to a certain standard. Sometimes I'd even write multiple versions for a request and post one that I deem the best among the others. That's how much I care about the fics I'm putting out even when I'm doing this for free. Fanfic readers tend to forget that the 2000-word stories you managed to finish in a couple of minutes were born out of labors of love that could take DAYS for the writers to complete. And we do it all sometimes without being fairly compensated as well (have you seen the contrast between comments/reblogs and likes for fics in this platform???? It's APPALLING). So really, asking you to please please please not send the same request to different authors should be considered the bare minimum.
In conclusion, I really hope that you can put a stop to this habit for the sake of everyone involved. I'm not saying you shouldn't be sending requests to different authors at the same time, but just make sure that you give us different plots so each writer is given the chance to show off their creativity in their own unique ways. I apologize again if I seemed too hostile in this post, it wasn't my intention at all. Please don't be discouraged from sending another request in the future because of this. I just hope there was something to be learned from what I wrote here. I hope you have a good day! ❤️
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maries-gallery · 10 months
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as obvious as his love languages are, can i still request some Rio for the love language event? hes the biggest dog boy (and the goodest dog boy) of the cast and itd be great to see more of him being exactly that in a way he sometimes reminds me of my boyfriend a little bit- maybe thats why i find this human-shaped dog so endearing
sorry if this has already been requested or if i messed anything up because i may have Olympic jumped into your inbox after seeing you write for this lovey dovey guy i'm not even gonna pretend otherwise
-thanks for all the work you put into writing, have a good day!
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ANOTHER RIO FAN! You're welcome! Feeding into Rio supremacy is my job <3 Rio is such a good boy indeed, we love him for it!
PLEASE HE ALSO REMINDS ME OF MY BOYFRIEND! I often like to say my boyfriend is a strange mix of Rio and Chevalier, a VERY interesting blend.
I already posted Physical touch and Acts of Service so I thought I'd write for Quality Time as for me it is one of Rio's big love languages as well!
genre: fluff, a tinge of comfort
warnings: none
wc: 1k
Physical touch
Acts of Service
send me an ask or DM if you wanna join the taglist <3
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For Rio, time with you is never wasted. As no matter what the two of you are doing, his heart always beats loudly in his chest at the proximity you share. His blood rushing in his veins as his eyes inevitably wander over to your features, entranced by your smile. And he swears time stops when you laugh, the sound like an angel’s choir in his ears. 
Even before the two of you admitted your feelings for one another, even before Rio fell so helplessly in love with you, he had always enjoyed spending time with you. 
At first some of it came from the fact he felt he owed you, for saving his life, the two of you helping Mr. Akatsuki unpack novels from his recent trip out of Rhodolite, dusting shelves and arranging spines in neat rows of knowledge. He longed to make himself useful, to give Rhodolite a chance of being his new home, to give you a chance. 
Even when a part of him screamed to stay away. 
“Oh my god, Rio, are you okay?” You run over to him, your friend having just tripped over his own feet and fallen in a heap of fluttering pages. You extend your hand out to him and a frown fleets over his features, doubt plaguing his mind as he ponders over your offered help. 
Sometimes he struggled to grasp what about you made him so uncomfortable. What made his heart soften in earnest and cower in fear. Usually he attributed this to your kindness and willingness to help those in need. For no one could possibly be this kind. No one could possibly be this pure and good intentioned. 
And no smile could be this genuine. This warm and inviting… This contagious. 
You either had to be untainted by the world’s sharpened blade or vile and vicious. Like something he had known but couldn’t remember. The vast echo of a memory he didn’t want back. 
“Yes, sorry for the commotion… “ Shame crawls at the back of his neck, clawing at his head to force his gaze down to his shoes. He scratches the back of his neck, flushing to his ears. 
No smile graces his features.  
He doesn’t have the heart to tell you his eyes hadn’t been on the floor nor on the books. He doesn’t have the heart to tell you his eyes had been on you. Only ever you. For a reason he can’t quite understand. 
“I guess I just got a bit distracted.”
But gradually, Rio grew to genuinely enjoy your presence, to seek it in the light of day and miss it in the dead of night. Hands reaching for your warmth in the sheets of his bed, only to be met with the cold loneliness of his own heart. 
So he made it a point to be with you whenever he could, as a best friend, he tried to convince himself. After all, that is what best friends did right? They missed one another when apart and craved time together, every parcel of it. They craved each other’s hands and each other’s- 
Or maybe they didn’t. Maybe Rio’s heart beat with more than friendship. Maybe it thrumbed with something more passionate. Reckless. Wild. Something more devastating and vicious, something that could both build him up and let him crash far below sea level.
The two of you stroll in the streets of Rhodolite, on your way home from the marketplace. Both yours and his hands busy with carrying groceries. Fruits and vegetables, freshly baked bread that makes one salivate and good cheese to spread on top. You have some wine at home too, one you figure would make for the perfect beverage with all you had bought today. 
But it isn’t wine Rio’s lips ache to taste. 
He stalls behind you, legs struggling to carry him as realisation falls into his hands like the burden of a thousand gods. His ribcage becomes a prison for his lungs. And his heart bleeds at his feet with a mix of euphoria and dread. 
“Rio?” You turn around, worried that your friend might have gotten lost. 
His eyes meet yours, and he forgets how to breathe. 
“I love you…” These words fall from his lips, nothing but a whisper carried by the wind. 
You don’t hear him. 
But now that the two of you are together as one? Rio is in heaven. 
No more denying his feelings or playing them down, no more doubts, no more fears of being parted from you or let down. No more fear of what his past could have held, of its shadow tarnishing the pure future he saw for the both of you. 
And his new favourite way to spend time with you might be by the Sea in Benitoite. In his home, and now yours as well. Of course he will always consider Rhodolite his home too, for it is the place that granted him more happiness he thought possible or even sane.
He loves the wander in your eyes, the enchantment that glints in them as he shows you the world he grew up in, made of ivory castles, seagulls and ocean waves. He loves the carefree steps you take on the beach, sand tickling your toes for the first time. And he loves the contented sigh that falls from your lips as you stand in the water, waves gently licking at your calves. 
“This is beautiful…” You whisper to yourself, eyes on the horizon, the ocean stretching beyond limits. Its surface glittering red, pink and golden under the setting Sun. A myriad of colours that no book could ever convey, that no words could ever bring to life. 
Rio’s ocean eyes observe you, a gentle smile on his features as his hand finds yours, fingers meshing together. “It is.” 
And he isn’t talking about the ocean, not about the watercolour sky, not about the stars that wink his way through Dusk’s thin cloak. He is talking about you. The most treasurable wander of this world and keeper of his heart. 
The view he never gets tired of, the one he loved, loves and will love all his life. 
 He doesn’t want this moment to end. Savouring each grain of salt that filters through the hourglass of time. 
For the two of you never have enough time together. 
taglist: @aquagirl1978 @randonauticrap @pockcock @altairring @vioisgoinginsane @outofthepapers @candied-boys
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bluedalahorse · 1 year
Note
Hey! I love your YR analysis posts, thank you so much for sharing your ideas with us! :) I'd love to hear your opinion on what you think happens in August's mind that allows him to look beyond Sara's class background when date her, given his obsession with defining himself by his status social standing. Thank you!
Hi! Thanks for reading my analysis; I’m glad you like it! I’ve been dreaming of answering an ask like yours for a long time, so I’m glad you popped up in my inbox. As it happens, I have a shorter answer and then a much longer answer prepared.
So, the first part of my thesis here is that August’s attraction isn’t rational. Feelings kinda happen however they’re going to happen, and people try to rationalize those feelings and make them make sense and fit into the frames they have for relationships. You are right to notice that August has to get past some mental blocks to get to the place where he sees Sara as a dating prospect at all. But once he gets there, he rationalizes her presence in his life using frames he understands.
Now, August doesn’t necessarily see status as something he has to earn. He sees it as something he already has and is owed more of, and as something with ideals he strives to live up to. Nonetheless, as much as August clings to his status to give himself a sense of stability in the wake of family trauma, his status is constantly in jeopardy throughout both seasons. This is what makes his behavior so erratic, and why he lashes out at others.
My (potentially controversial?) sargust theory is that Sara and August are attracted to one another from the earliest episodes of season 1, even if they don’t understand that as true at first. August’s understanding of his attraction to Sara changes over time, the same way his sense of security in his status changes. How he responds to Sara is tied together with how he responds to his perceived power in any given moment.
We often think of the ruling class as being tied to old, outdated traditions, and to some extent, that is true. But from my experience of working in proximity to people of considerable privilege, one of the ways they express that privilege is in how and when they move goalposts to fulfill their desires. Those who are privileged claim the power to write the rules, but also the power to decide what the few rare exceptions to those rules are. By the time August recognizes that he’s fallen in love with Sara and is willing to commit to her, he’s also decided to rationalize her as one of those exceptions.
It’s a little easier to see the evolution of his thoughts when you break his interactions with Sara down by half-season. Luckily, I had a meta started focused on what I see as the timeline of their relationship, so I was able to take what I’d already written and modify it to answer this ask. I’m putting this behind a cut, because it’s SUPER long. But hopefully it shows the shifts in his thinking and the ways he eventually ties Sara to his philosophy of exceptionalism. Feel free to read on if you’re curious…
(Content warning for most August topics, especially in this case toxic relationship dynamics and class-based sexual harassment.)
Intro: Framing Attraction
Before we start, we have to recognize some things about the nature of attraction. First, it’s important to realize that not everyone feels attraction in the same way or at the same pace. Wilhelm and Simon fall for one another pretty quickly, to the point where Simon makes an unambiguous move on Wilhelm at the end of 1.2. For all that Simon and Wilhelm still have a lot to understand about their feelings, Sara and August are both less in touch with their feelings and what they would want out of a relationship. In Sara’s case, we see her asking a lot of questions to the other girls that shows understanding her own feelings isn’t always easy for her. (I imagine one of the ways her AuDHD manifests is alexithymia, which, haha I relate tho.) August, meanwhile, spends so much time in cycles of self-denial and self-punishment that he’s gotten used to ignoring his own needs, whether that’s emotional needs or even needs around things like food and not over-exercising his body. As a result, what occurs between Sara and August is paced and dealt with in dialogue a little bit differently than the Wilmon stuff, but it’s just as dramatic.
Second, and less comfortably, we have to acknowledge that attraction is not always accompanied by purity of intentions or emotions, and that a person’s understanding of their own attractions can be influenced by outside social structures. As a result of these structures and systems, attraction can also be expressed in ways that are laced with disdain. (Patriarchy, for instance, gives heterosexual men an abundance of sexist language and tropes to draw on when describing or addressing women, even women they’re attracted to.) Hence August calling Sara a “freak” and berating her early on in the study hall scene. This is not to agree with the idea that A Little Boy Pulls On A Little Girl’s Pigtails Because He Secretly Likes Her, because that is a dangerous and harmful idea and I don’t subscribe to it. Rather, I want to examine how societally-influenced biases shape our ability to process and act on our feelings in a healthy way.
Sara and August sit at an intersection of class, gender, and neurotype that influences how they react to one another and initially prevents them from seeing one another as potential partners. Consider that an overwhelming amount of Western history and culture includes men who harass women into relationships, spouses complaining about one another, working class women getting taken advantage of by upper class men, and just general… *waves at all of that.* As much as we want to believe we’re now in the era of the emotionally honest softboy, these sexist, classist, and ableist influences are still very much with us, and we still see the kind of nonsense that’s out there nowadays radicalizing young men into crap behaviors toward women. We don’t have to be resigned to this in our own society, but we do have to acknowledge it and how it influences August. I mean, August can’t even express his attraction to Felice without being gross and offensive about it, and she’s of his class and therefore someone his biases nudge him to see as “marriage material” at first. So how is he supposed to recognize what he’s feeling about Sara and reframe it in a healthy way?
For what it’s worth, we can see how Wilhelm’s societal programming impacts his relationship with Simon, too. It’s not just the sexual orientation stuff, but the class stuff. We can see the little moments where Wilhelm starts to drift into “we can just hook up and have it be a secret forever.” We see how he tries to make things happen with Felice (and that’s additionally nuanced, because he and Felice are also performing Gender as Hillerska defines it.) The part where Wilhelm denies being with Simon in the video on live TV is really the apex of that kind of class-based thinking, that would let him just kind of have Simon be a secret guy on the side. 
Wilhelm however, unlike August, is much more willing to actively question his biases from the beginning of the series. He protests against being at Hillerska in the first place because he doesn’t want to be surrounded by people who parrot the ideas he was raised with and validate him on everything. Wilhelm wants his views challenged, even when he is periodically tempted to slide back into the habits of the upper classes. August wants his views reinforced, because he clings to his class status and social hierarchy as something that makes him feel grounded, and that’s always slipping away from him in a way it isn’t for Wilhelm. August eventually does push past his biases and see his attraction to Sara for what it is, but things go to hell again when he tries to assimilate her into his class-bound cultural norms.
1.1-1.3: August and Sara discover each other’s existence
In the first three episodes, August isn’t trying to assert his status by pursuing Sara. Instead, he’s pursuing Felice, who he insists that he wants to marry. (Marriage is, after all, a way to keep the noble classes going.) Still, there’s little hints about his future with Sara that we should be watching for, it’s just that neither Sara nor August quite knows the vibes they are putting out just yet.
I want to start by pointing out a moment of foreshadowing during the party scene in 1.1. August is giving Wilhelm his “we could murder someone and get away with it” speech which ends in the question of “who wants to be ordinary?” The Eriksson siblings enter the party right then, and the camera cuts over to Simon and Sara together. We’re following Wilhelm’s gaze at this point, and the camera is showing us his attraction to Simon, what with the way the way Simon is surrounded by colored light, all glow sticks and casual clothes and charisma. (I love this moment because it’s an immediate visual rebuke to August’s philosophy of exceptionalism and special-ordinary dichotomy; the special can be found within the ordinary, and there is so much beauty there.) We’re in Wilhelm’s head and being pulled along into his attraction to Simon. At the same time, August is shadowing Wilhelm the same way that Sara shadows Simon. From the start, we are being primed to see these two relationships as parallel. The camera isn’t quite ready to hint at full-fledged attraction yet, but it’s telling you to get ready for that attraction to develop and track it throughout the season.
In 1.2 and 1.3 we have moments of uncomfortable subtext. Consider the moment in 1.2 where August slides up to Sara and casually asks if maybe, could he please try some of her ADHD medication?
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(Crap, I saved this but I forgot who made it. If someone tells me, I’ll credit them in an edit.)
I wouldn’t call their vibe consciously flirty or anything; that’s not quite what’s happening here. Sara’s initially buried in her book the way I am when a guy tries to talk to me on the metro. (She can be feeling attraction but still find the attention unwanted, which is important to mention. These things are complicated.) Still… there is a Vibe on August’s part. I say there is a Vibe because of how Simon reacts when he sees the conversation happening. Immediately Simon rolls in and plays the protective brother and is very never talk to my sister again. Which is about the 50 mg of Vyvanse, yes. But I find it hard to believe that this is not also about August potentially hitting on Sara, and Simon being worried about that.
As for 1.3, one place where there might be subtext about Sara’s feelings is the whole to-do over lunch tables. August is gatekeeping the Erikssons’ access to lunch as a way of flexing his power, and each Eriksson reacts in a way that’s quite telling. Simon is incensed, and uses it as the springboard for a (very justified) rant. Linda isn’t bothered; she is so cheerily sure it’s all just a misunderstanding and of course they’re going to be served in a minute. Sara… is quiet and withdrawn in a way that suggests she might be embarrassed by both her brother and her mother. Simon is unwilling to accept the rules while Linda doesn’t understand them. Sara’s worked so hard to learn the social rules and fit in, and here are her family members flagrantly ignoring the rules! In front of people! In front of… a person she might be developing a crush on, but knows she “shouldn’t” be? It’s not quite there until you think about it in retrospect, but that’s why Young Royals has so much rewatch value.
To be fair, both of these scenes are operating very much in the realm of subtext rather than text (and neither of them portrays a healthy sargust power dynamic.) It’s comparatively rare to encounter a heterosexual pairing who can’t quite find the words or social structures to articulate what they are, while the same-sex pairing they’re paralleled to knows very much that they care for one another. Wilhelm may struggle to label himself, but he understands that he desires Simon. Meanwhile, August is quick to claim a label and perform heterosexuality as a political stance, but doesn’t understand how nuanced and unexpected his desires can be.
I will also remind you that August and Rousseau are the same character, and that instead of giving us an overt, literal, absolutely excruciating Sara-August-Felice love triangle, Lisa dives into the horse subtext instead. A lot of what is under-the-surface in the early part of season 1 is expressed through the horse stuff!
1.4-1.6: Realization and Recognition
The second half of season 1 marks more of a transitional period in the sargust relationship. At this point, the subtext from before is rapidly beginning to surface in the text, and Sara and August are learning more about one another and trying to make sense of what they’re feeling about each other. There’s always been a vibe hanging between them, but now is really where they start to get pulled into one another’s orbit. At first, this looks like it’s going to conform to a toxic patriarchal paradigm, but that paradigm gets twisted a bit at the end of season 1.
Naturally the first scene that marks this shift is the one in 1.4 where August looking for Felice in the stables and encounters Sara instead. August’s immediate response to finding Sara alone is to try and sexually harass information out of her, which… is definitely uncomfortable again. We’ve got to acknowledge that in order to unpack this scene.
I’ve seen a lot of people argue that the stables scene is where Sara’s attraction begins, and I’m not sure if I agree with that. Sara’s inexperienced when it comes to relationships, but I don’t think she’s so pure and naive that August’s cocky performance is what sweeps her off her feet and makes her fall for him. We also know she isn’t taking what he says at face value, because one of the questions she asks him is what he really wants. Instead, it makes infinitely more sense to me that Sara’s already been attracted to August for a few weeks and is still kind of wondering what those butterfly feelings are in her stomach, and now here’s this extra bizarre social interaction (with added kissing that Sara doesn’t consent to but may have wanted under different circumstances) for her to hang those feelings on.
On August’s end… man. Why must this boy be such a can of emotional worms? I do wonder how much something is shifting in his head as he begins to hit on Sara. Most of those shifts are happening for him subconsciously. Maybe what he’s settling on in 1.4 is that, it’s fun to flirt with Sara to assert his social dominance that way, but at that point in the narrative he doesn’t think she counts as a long-term relationship/marriage material kinda girl the way Felice does.
Here I think it’s important to remember for that for most of Western history, wealthy upper class men weren’t shamed for pursuing women of lower classes on the side of their married relationships. (Sometimes these side relationships were more or less consensual relationships with mistresses, but other times men were just taking advantage of women who worked for them, and consent was impossible.) I’m not saying that August is thinking consciously about Sara being “available” for temporary amusement because she’s working class, but I am saying that’s the historical tradition of toxic masculinity that he’s been raised in. He does not expect to be caught and dumped for kissing Sara, because unconsciously he’s absorbed the upper class patriarchal programming that doesn’t even identify this behavior as cheating. It’s just a “fun” way to get the information he wants. (Ugh.)
Tl;dr it’s important to view August hitting on Sara in the stables not as August leaning awayfrom his upper class status, but rather as him trying to assert it. Yes, he does try to get Felice into a committed relationship with him to assert his status and masculinity, but now that he’s in a committed relationship with her he doesn’t feel any more secure in his status. So now he’s pulled Sara into his whole social class deal as well. (Ugh. UGH.)
That isn’t, thankfully, where August stays. 1.6 marks another key shift in his mindset toward Sara, because it’s where August sees a genuine connection between them for the first time. When Sara goes to confront August about why he leaked the video of Simon and Wilhelm, he corners her and offers to give her whatever she wants. Sara confesses her secret desire—to be a boarder at Hillerska and become one of its elite students. August’s reaction is fascinating, because there’s almost a quality of relief to it. Part of that, of course, is because he can easily buy her off. But I think it’s also because he’s finally not alone. It’s worth remembering that August has spent most of season 1 worrying about paying his tuition and the possibility that he might get kicked out of school. As Erik tells us before he dies, August made Hillerska his entire personality as a way of dealing with the grief over his father’s suicide. Sara, who is using Hillerska to escape her own family trauma, feels similarly about it as a space where she can feel more agency, and now she’s worried that her mother will pull her out of school.
(On Sara’s part, August’s behavior has become increasingly erratic over the course of the last few episodes, and I think she’s drawn to the idea that he might need help. I covered a little of this when I talked about Sara being the special horse girl who wants to tame the troubled horse, but we also see this come out in her friendship with Felice. She wants to help Felice when they first meet! Not to mention, one of the big things Sara gets in trouble for is revealing people’s secrets. If you think about it, August has revealed the biggest secret of the series by leaking the video about Simon and Wilhelm. As pissed as Sara is on Simon’s behalf—and people forget how pissed she is, in 1.6—she also understands what it’s like to have let a secret out and regretted it. Sara’s doing rationalizing of her own.)
I don’t know how much of that runs through August’s head in an obvious or logical way, but in his gut, he’s feeling this jolt of recognition. Sara feels it too. Sara sees him, and he sees her. The magnetic pull has finally brought them together, and when she kisses him, he kisses back. We’d be rooting for these kids as they found a genuine connection, if they weren’t also covering up a horrendous and harmful crime. Sigh! And know we know we’re in for some drama in season 2…
2.1-2.3: Liminal Companionship
Season 2 begins with both Sara and August in an in-between state, where neither of them quite fits into the world they’ve been placed in. Sara’s gotten her coveted boarder’s scholarship to Hillerska, but is rapidly becoming disillusioned with the amount of wealth her dorm mates take for granted. August, meanwhile, hasn’t had to leave school after all, but is convinced he could lose his status and freedom at any minute if anyone finds out he leaked the video. They don’t really discuss this directly, but it’s clear they feel more comfortable around one another because each of them has seen a side of the other the rest of the world isn’t aware of. Moreover, given the amount of discomfort each of them is feeling at the beginning of the season, it’s understandable that Sara and August would seek out one another’s company more deliberately.
It’s in this in-between space, where August feels like he’s lost so much of his Hillerska identity, that he finally starts to recognize that Sara is someone who can hold emotional space for him. At the same time, he goes back and forth between wanting to be vulnerable with her and keeping her at a distance. He breaks down and panics in front of her, causing her to teach him deep breathing, but then runs away after. He seems to like Sara, but he’s cautious about getting too close.
Sara and August’s physical relationship is also in a liminal state at this point in season 2, somewhere between an unexpected platonic friendship and a blossoming romance. Not that anyone should have to define a relationship if they don’t want to, but it’s almost humorous to me how you have this period between 1.6 and 2.3 where Sara and August keep touching and kissing and even grinding on one another and they just… keep acting like it’s happening for the first time. Like. Do we maybe want to communicate about that? No? Yes? Omg you kids are such teenagers, stop.
Sara takes the physical lead most of the time, which is a change from the aggressive predatory gender roles we see August performing in 1.4. I don’t think August is more passive because he isn’t interested (we see the way he lifts Sara up onto his desk in 1.6, and the way he laughs to himself after Sara leaves his room in 2.2.) I personally think this is more about August’s tendency to punish himself. His establishing shots in 2.1 are all about self-punishment and self-denial—the grueling exercise, the infamous bites of kale. We also see him refusing to fight for himself when Wilhelm starts maneuvering him out of his Hillerska positions. August is starting to give up in a big way, and at first he holds Sara at arms’ length because he isn’t letting himself indulge in anything that could bring him actual joy.
For that reason, we don’t really see a reciprocal ebb and flow develop between Sara and August until 2.3, when they finally more consciously choose to do relationshippy things and decide to have sex for the first time. One thing that really stands out to me in this scene is that August is so sure he’s doomed. He is genuinely convinced at this point that the palace is going to send him to jail and brand him a criminal for life. And now that he’s lower than he’s ever been at any point in the series, he’s weirdly somehow gained the ability to show compassion for himself. This is also the episode where he throws his pills aside and pats Rousseau (his narrative shadow) on the nose. If August is doomed anyway, and he’s about to lose everything, well, why not give in to his developing feelings for the girl who likes him back even if she knows he made a terrible decision? Maybe he thinks it’s his one chance to be with her.
I don’t know if August expects that he’ll fall hard for Sara. The reality is, by the time they’re together, he already has fallen for her. Suddenly, she’s a person he’ll fight to keep in his life. Suddenly, August doesn’t want to give up anymore.
2.4-2.6: Whose Cinderella fantasy?
The first time I watched season two, I wondered if August was going to approach Sara differently after his meeting at the palace. There was always the possibility that his (alleged) new security in life would influence him to cast her aside and go back to pursuing upper class girls. Instead what we see is that August is just as devoted to Sara as before—even more devoted, in fact. He invites her to the dance so they can debut together as a public couple. He sets up his room with candles and champagne and waits for her and there’s almost marriage proposal vibes about the whole thing and we all die of second-hand embarrassment when Sara texts to say she’s changed plans. August and Sara argue at the Valentine’s dance, causing August to backslide and start scheming again, but the minute she shows up and cries at his door about losing Rousseau, he takes her in and comforts her. He buys her the horse. He refuses to snitch on her in the field when Wilhelm has a gun pointed at his chest.
Anyway. We know August has very deep feelings for Sara, and it’d be easy to say his feelings run deep enough that he no longer cares that she isn’t high class. And his feelings do run that deep. But there’s another component too, when you think about how August is envisioning his future, and how Sara is part of that future. He’s happy to have her listen in on his phone call about the ten-year plan because he sees her as part of the ten-year plan.
After August’s meeting at the palace, he no longer sees himself as the heir to Årnäs, but rather as a prince in line for the Swedish throne. A noble is supposed to serve and protect the king by making an advantageous marriage and having sons—August explains this much in 1.4 when he’s talking to Wilhelm about the Society—but the king (in August’s fantasies at least) is ultimately at the top of the hierarchy and can bend the rules to suit his will. So August marrying who he wants is really an expression of kingly power, in August’s mind. Of course he can rewrite the rules for himself and marry Sara and make her his queen. He almost says exactly that out loud, when he promises never to hurt her and frames it as a royal oath. And while August and Sara never discuss having children, I’m sure August assumes it will happen someday. (That weirdo probably has names picked out and everything.) That means he’ll be able to fulfill one of the most important duties of kingship (especially in an era where a king’s powers are mostly symbolic) which is producing an heir and keeping the monarchy going.
Anyway, I actually do think that between Sara and August, it’s not Sara who’s caught up in the Cinderella fantasy—it’s August. He really wants to be the prince who rescues her from her ordinary life of drudgery and makes her dreams come true. Why? Because August loathes himself and can’t sit with his own flaws, and it’s more comfortable to imagine himself as Sara’s princely hero than as the guy who leaked the video. And he and Sara are soulmates, in August’s mind. He sees her ambition, and sees himself in it, and he wants to reward it. I don’t think that’s something he could see himself doing as the heir to Årnäs, but maybe it’s something he can do as heir to the throne.
Implicitly I think there’s an element of competition with Wilhelm, too. Sara and August’s fight at the Valentine’s dance brings that subtext bubbling to the surface. Sara is concerned about being in a public relationship with her a royal when she saw what happened to her brother after being outed. August replies, bitterly, that he isn’t Wilhelm, and accuses Sara of just wanting sex.
It’s worth unpacking this. As viewers, we know exactly how devoted Wilhelm is to Simon. But from August’s point of view, all he sees is Wilhelm disavowing Simon on live TV and not standing by him. Keep in mind, too, that the rumors of Wille and Felice’s hookup are traveling around the school at that time, and yet Felice and Wille are not attending the dance together, probably signaling to August that either a) Wilhelm treated Felice like a conquest and then pushed her aside, or b) Felice is a gold digger who took advantage of Wilhelm for her own gain. From August’s perspective, what he’s thinking is, he’ll be more committed and mature than Wilhelm. He will be a good partner. He’s not afraid of being seen with his Eriksson sibling, who he absolutely intends to take to the dance properly and stand in posed graduation photos with and probably marry someday. August is keeping score, and he also believes in his own hype. He’s infuriated that Sara can’t see how he’s different than Wilhelm. That’s why the moment he and Sara are back in each other’s arms in 2.5, he immediately leans toward rhetoric about making her his queen and staying with her long-term. I do think he genuinely means this, but we also can’t ignore that he sees himself as better than Wilhelm for it. He’ll do an unexpected fairy tale romance of his own and he’ll do it better than Wilhelm ever did, dammit!
Now if you’re very clever (and yes, this is me trying to channel the gravitas of Abigail Thorn) you’ll notice how actively ignorant and irrational August is being. He’s constructing a narrative about his relationship with Sara that ignores their rocky beginnings. To some extent, August doesn’t have a full picture of what’s going on in Wilhelm’s head, and he’s also assuming he’ll have a lot more free will as king than would actually be true. (We see this in another way, when he tells Jan-Olof he has some ideas about how to modify the Jubilee Day speech, and gets stopped from doing so.) But it still doesn’t stop August from dreaming about being able to write the rules for himself.
Well, of course August is actively ignorant. Systems of oppression thrive on the active ignorance of those at the top. That’s exactly what allows people in August’s position to think well of themselves and genuinely see themselves as good people (who occasionally make mistakes) rather than people running a system that perpetuates wealth disparities and patriarchy and inequality.
Conclusion: The Privileges of Inconsistency and Ignorance
To sum up: I genuinely do think that August is attracted to Sara from almost the beginning of the show. At first, his warped worldview causes him to ignore or lash out at or objectify her, and overall fail to treat her with respect. When it looks like he might lose all of his power, he does have a brief window where he can see her as a fellow human being who makes him feel less alone, and discovers his feelings for her in a new light. As soon as he’s spared by the royal court, however, he becomes consumed by the fantasy of being king and rewriting the rules to make Sara his queen. Being able to cast her in that role would go against convention, but it would also be the ultimate expression of his power and agency. Other people would still have to follow the rules, but August would get to break them, because the king gets to make the rules and be the authority on everything. This isn’t, of course, what Sara wants—but part of August’s hamartia is that he assumes he and Sara are on the same page.
Maybe this isn’t a popular opinion, but it’s upsetting to me that Sara and August didn’t get to connect under different circumstances. When they work together, they work. But by god do they need some therapy and a social revolution to boot. I 99% agree with (I believe) missbolt’s post on Sara and August, where she talks about them fulfilling a deep need in one another. The one place I disagree (possibly in a very nitpicky way that isn’t really disagreement) is that I do think August sees real ambition/struggle to survive in Sara, and I do think Sara sees real vulnerability/loneliness in August. These traits are real and not illusions. Because Young Royals emphasizes choices over “innate” moral personality traits, however, what Sara and August don’t foresee in each other is the choices and sacrifices the other is willing to make. Sara is willing to put aside her ambitions to try and make things right with her brother, while August shoves away his vulnerability to try and prove to himself that he’s worthy of power within a system that’s content to just use him and toss him aside when he isn’t useful anymore.
Neither Sara nor August really expects the other to make these decisions, and that’s what drives them apart. Sara’s choice will hopefully save her and allow her to reconnect with community; August’s choice will only further isolate him and drive him toward destruction if he doesn’t check himself and change course. August could stop this cycle of self-harm if he stopped subscribing the aristocratic ideals of masculinity, but he hasn’t yet. How infuriating! The amount of sleep I have lost over this fictional character’s terrible decisions, let me tell you.
(It kills me how gendered Sara and August’s sacrifices are, too. Sometimes I just think about it and I want to scream. But I can also appreciate the well-written tragedy of it all.)
I will also say that this reading of the characters influences my reading of the show at large. It’s part of why I’m not personally in favor of the monarchy sticking around and a Prince Consort Simon future. (I get why it appeals to other people and can read others’ fics based around that, but it’s not my personal preference.) It’s also why I can’t find hotness in the idea of Wilhelm being a sort of sexy masc dom prince who orders people around and pulls strings to make things more convenient for his precious Simon. August already exists in the narrative as a cautionary tale against that kind of power dynamic! There’s more to be said here about the way you can look at August’s choices compared to Wilhelm’s, and how they are foils to one another. Ultimately, there is danger in trying to rewrite an oppressive system in accordance with one’s individual whims, even when a person imagines something as noble as romantic love as being what motivates them.
Once upon a time, I was leaving @heliza24 a comment on the Heart and Homeland draft she sent me, and I said this:
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“The road to democracy is letting aristocratic boys embrace their submissive tendencies.”
And… maybe I was being a little bit facetious. But on a symbolic level I think what I meant was, Wilhelm and August both have to envision themselves in new positions, possibly even as part of a new system, if they want to do right by the people they love. Moreover, they need to think beyond the people they love, and consider the impact of their power has on the world at large. They need to learn humility, to listen, and to manage their emotions. So far, it’s Wilhelm who’s succeeding in that kind of growth, and he doesn’t win that victory by trusting in his love for Simon alone. Instead, as I pointed out in my justice meta, Wilhelm needs therapy and community and the willingness to self-examine in order to move forward. He learns to stop focusing on winning Simon’s love like it’s a prize, and focus more on being the kind of person Simon would choose to be in a relationship with, while still acknowledging that ultimately the choice is Simon’s.
Will August eventually be able learn the same lessons? Only season 3 can tell for sure. I kind of hope he can figure it out eventually, against all odds, if only so he can one day heal from his trauma. He also has to radically accept that he caused harm toward Simon, Wilhelm, and others. If August wants to get there, he’s going to have to stop subscribing to the philosophy of exceptionalism, and instead start valuing the special within the ordinary.
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stuckinapril · 9 months
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im an ex muslim who still lives in a muslim majority country in west asia and my culture is interwoven with islam deeply, and unfortunately i deal with people like your anon very often online BUT i’ve never seen anyone else whos not a muslim handle these stuff as well as you do. im really sorry you’re dealing with all this but also thank you so so much for making it such a safe space here. you are such a good person and i hope every blessing you deserve finds you 💛
you’re welcome babe!! i’m not muslim, but my mom is & it makes my blood boil that people would dare speak of arabs/islam like that. that anon literally sent an ask like “u pretend this is ur persona but ur arabic” as if being “arabic” is a personality trait to begin w?? as if arabs do not have the right to have a personality that goes beyond just their religion???? it makes me fucking LIVID for my mom who is an educated engineer/the smartest & most beautiful woman i know, my uncle who has an md/phd and plays in the orchestra, my great uncle who is a renowned surgeon etc etc the ignorance just runs so deep and it’s disgusting. it’s like being muslim (or arab even) cannot coexist with being open-minded, with enjoying things, w having preferences, w literally just having space as a person like other people do.
not that i owe that anon an explanation, but im literally an american girl who was raised under the roof of a very liberal mom. maybe i’m not a common case, but my mom is very lax / allowed me to choose between religion or no religion / allowed me to wear whatever i want / allowed me to move out at my discretion bc she knows i’m an adult who can make her own choices. so offensive that they literally generalize arabs to the point that every arab girl has to still be living w her parents / unable to experience anything. it’s such a stereotype & it icks me out beyond what words could say. not every arab girl is a caged bird. not every arab parent is a dictator. “arab” is not just one entity—people engage with the culture in different ways, to varying degrees.
i know sweet & smart & beautiful women who wear the hijab & are more than what that anon could ever hope to be & have the right to step on them. it did not pass me that the moment i revealed i had an arab heritage, that anon started sending racist asks / claiming i’m lesser than other people / making absolutist statements about how i live my life. literally an actual racist in my inbox. it’s just this one anon tbh everyone else is great, but they’ve been super persistent & that tells me it’s rooted in racism. it cannot be anything else. they do not know enough about me for it to be about me as a person—to them i’m just an arab entity that has to be made to feel lesser than.
i’m sorry you have to deal w this love :( this blog will alwayssss be a safe space. always. i love you
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jojo-schmo · 1 year
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Another batch of Forgotten Land Roleswap asks!
Look under the cut for answers and a behind the scenes sketch page! ;D
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Thank you for the kind words!
Meta Knight doesn't have Mouthful-mode in my particular AU- Combo-mode is more Sworn Partner-flavored which is I why I went with it. But also for some reason I literally cannot bring myself to draw Meta consuming automobiles and vending machines. Too wild of a concept for me! But if anyone reading this is capable of doing so, I welcome the possibility HAHA
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I had to hold onto this ask for a while because you gave me some really good food for thought! As of now I don't have plans to swap any of them since they don't play a big part in the comic but if I get struck by divine inspiration, I'll have you to thank for putting the idea in my head!
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Stubborn knight!! I think he's so used to being self-sufficient that he dislikes being "coddled" by others and prefers to take things into his own hands. This is actually something the comic will explore down the line! I've interpreted some other possible reasons why he's so stubborn about this but it will have to be revealed in the future ;)
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Aww thank you!! I'm glad you like his design, I put plenty of love into it! Maybe this is a good excuse for me to share the page I designed him on and some of the backstory behind it:
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The above were my very first Roleswap drawings back in April 2022! It was born purely out of my desire to see a badass Bandee boss fight and I had just finished the Forgotten Land game. I started at the top and ended up with the designs at the bottom right- with a few additional changes these became the final versions! I wanted him to have more of an Awoofy silhouette since I figured they're a great equivalent to Popstar's Waddle Dees!
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An AU creation fun fact: I initially just swapped Bandee and Dedede! I drew the above that same month- this is supposed to be the cutscene before the Winter Horns boss where the big reveal happened! Kirby was P1 and Dedede was P2. I didn't even create Roleswap Elfilis yet!
But the more I explored the possibilities, the more roles I swapped. It took me like another month to actually have the Sworn Partners be the "playable" characters, shuffle the Beast Pack around, and finish the rest of the swaps.
That was a long-winded way of saying, thanks for liking Roleswap Bandee!! I owe the little Awoofy Dee a lot because without him I wouldn't be having a blast making this AU!!
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Ahh thank you so very much!! Combo moves were so fun to make haha. I love some good teamwork.
And yes, I love writing their dynamic too! I figured if they already understood each other perfectly at the beginning of the story, it would be kinda boring. Don't get me wrong, they are already pretty close in the beginning- enough to tease and be prickly idiots with each other while still maintaining that respect between them! :P But they are going to have some nice opportunities to get to know each other better, build even more trust, and reach a deeper understanding~! <3
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Oooh! Interesting theory~ *whistles a non spoilery-tune*
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These are more comments than questions but I still wanted to share them! Ya'll make me laugh!
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If you've made it this far, I leave you with a tag from @what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me on Pages 31-32. It made me laugh until I choked. xD
Thank you all for continuing to brighten my inbox and feed with your great questions and comments!
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singsweetmelodies · 10 months
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With all respect and love, I absolutely love your fake dating au. If I had to choose an update between that and the kissing fic (or anything else really) I would always choose the fake dating au. There is so much potential! Please tell me you plan on updating and finishing it? If you’re not, can you at least share with us the fic plans so we can have some closure about it? Would you consider letting another author adopt the gif to finish it if you won’t? It really is a Piarles must-read. I hope I can learn the ending!
but see, anon, you DON'T get to choose. only i get to choose, and i have chosen to update the 2023 kisses fic. 😌
... you know, i debated for a long time if i would even bother answering this ask, or just delete it right off the bat. because in my opinion, this is an incredibly rude, insensitive and entitled thing to send to any writer. it was ONLY A FEW DAYS AGO that i talked publicly about how important it is to remember that writers are humans, too, not machines, and to please treat us like humans. and yet here i am again.
i'm going to answer this one more time, and i'm going to answer it in detail, and then in future if i get any asks in this vein, they WILL be deleted without any interaction. you guys are making me consider turning off anon asks entirely, which i really don't want to do, because the other half of my anons are SO very lovely!! but i also have had enough of waking up to rudeness and blatant entitlement in my inbox.
so. why exactly is it that i think this ask is so entitled and insensitive? didn't the anon say "with all respect and love" and compliment my fic at the start of it?
yes. yes, they did. but the thing is, saying "with all respect and love" doesn't mean you can then proceed to be rude to me and it's all fine. that's like me saying "with all due love and respect, i have decided to delete the fic entirely." the fact that i prefaced it with "love and respect" does not make what i did later alright. (although in this case, it WOULD be alright regardless of whether i prefaced it with "love and respect" or not, since it's MY fic and i can do what i want with it.) this anon, on the other hand - this anon has no right to demand anything of me. i am a fanfic author and i do this for free. it is not my job. i have no obligation to do any of this. which means that nobody out there, really, has any right to demand performance from me. (lmao can you tell i have been deep in the law textbooks lately) but the point stands! i don't owe you anything at all.
yes, you can ask me nicely, and i can choose to reply if i want. (hell, if you ask me nicely, i'd probably LOVE to write things for you!!) but you don't get to DEMAND updates from me. and "tell me you plan on updating and finishing // can you at least share with us the fic plans so we can have some closure" is not asking nicely. that's demanding. YES, anon gave me a compliment and they said "with all respect and love." but they're STILL demanding performance from me, and that's not okay. the anon is making it sound like i owe you "closure" (even though this is a work of fiction, not a break-up you're going through, and i think the word "closure" is a VERY dramatic one to use.)
once again (because apparently i LITERALLY CANNOT emphasise it enough) i do not actually owe you anything. i, katie singsweetmelodies, owe you NOTHING. i do not owe you updates or fic plans or whatever the case may be. i might choose to share them with you, yes, but on my own schedule, since they're MY creations made in MY free time.
right. got that off my chest. gosh. NOW! one other thing that i want to make very, very clear before i end this off - i do not give my permission for anyone to "adopt" my work or to write a continuation of it. i am the one who's put in the hours to write all the setup we have so far. i'm not letting someone else benefit off that. if you so badly want a fake dating fic with the conclusion already ready, then you are more than welcome to put in the hours and create it from scratch yourself. but for someone else to take over my work and take it in a direction i probably won't even like? no. absolutely not. permission emphatically NOT granted.
anon: i'm sorry if you feel that this reply is unnecessarily harsh. but this could not have come at a worse time for me, because i really did talk about the importance of treating writers like people just here, just a day or two ago. needless to say, it really struck a very bad chord with me to get an ask like this right after i took pains to explain, publicly, why these kinds of asks are not okay.
i really am happy that you are enjoying the fake dating fic. and i do appreciate that you tried to tell me that, even though the way you did it was completely out of line. i hope that this answer won't... preclude you from enjoying the fic in the future? or something? i'm not sure, to be honest. the whole thing has left rather a bad taste in my mouth.
but one thing i will say to anyone reading this: i know it's been a long time, but just bear with me. i mean it when i say that there will be an update eventually. no, i can't tell you when. i'm not even going to try and give you a schedule, because like i said, i'm a human and not a writing machine. but the fake dating fic is very close to my heart, and i want to see it finished someday just as much as you do. ❤️
(P.S. - if anyone was very worried reading the first part of this answer: NO, i am not actually going to delete the fake dating fic!!! i was just using a very dramatic example, lmao. the fake dating fic is one of my favourite things i've written, and despite the slight... mess... about its updates recently, that's not going to change anytime soon. 💙)
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use-your-telescope · 7 months
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Let's spread some positivity! Tag some of your fellow content creators here and let them know why they are absolutely amazing!❤️
OOOOOOOPS I think I have had this sitting in my asks for a while and completely space cadet-ed on it...
@infinitystoner my first tumblr friend!! You are so freaking talented at every genre and trope you tackle in fics - I am so grateful you thought to message me via the hellsite those many months ago!! Your smut? Immaculate. Your angst? Hurts so good. Your character chemistry? Simply divine! The way you create atmosphere and use language to create such nuance is truly a masterclass.
@loki-cees-all CEEEEEEE you are my beloved angsty queen. The way you are able to get inside Loki's mind and really dive into the little details that bring the hurt is so fucking delightful. I know I owe you at least a few raving reblogs of your most recent fic, so stay tuned!
@the-lady-amphitrite my fellow lore and world building lover!! Any time I get to see behind the curtain in your work is such a blast, and you also crack me up on the regs. Plus video game nerding is alway a delight!
@sarahscribbles Smut goddess! Whether looking for soft or kink, Saz has got you covered. Saz also does such a beautiful job of highlighting relationships in her smut and really giving them depth. She also has some absolutely delightful fluff to investigate, if you're looking for pure warm and fuzzies.
@cleo-fox I am still working my way through your catalog (god damn I am so behind), but YO everything I've read is a straight BANGER (literally and metaphorically). You balance environment, chemistry, and pacing so perfectly in every story I've read, and you've turned some of the more mundane moments into straight up steam sessions.
@maple-seed THROWN. HOLY THROWN. If you, random hellsite user, are reading this and have not read Thrown, *DROP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND GO READ THROWN!!* It is the *perfect* comfort fic - friends to lovers, slow burn, so soft I want to scream. I'm not on the tag list because I get the A03 emails, and let me just say the *moment* I see that notification in my inbox I drop what I'm doing and go read the update (even if I'm in the middle of a meeting, haha!). I'm behind like, four chapters on reblogs because I have so many thoughts (most of which are OH MY GOD MY HEART IS GOING TO EXPLODE FROM THE SOFT!!). Also, Maple's portrayals of Thor and Valkyrie are delightful!!
@tripleyeeett You are SO FREAKING AMAZING AT WRITING ASTARION and so funny and down to earth and I love your no-bullshit attitude and nerding about BG3 and all sorts of stuff.
Also, I know that they haven't been posting stories for a while, but I do also want to shout out @asteralpine (kaeorin on AO3) - their Loki's Lullabies series was my first introduction to Loki fics (back in 2021); part of why I made a new tumblr account was to be able to share their stories, but more importantly I don't think I would have even started WEMTBB if I hadn't discovered the Lullabies! I have slowly been working on a mega post of all my favorite stories from the series and why I love them so much, but I'm starting to think it's going to be a multi-part post because with over 250 entries in the series, there are too many to fit in one post. These days, the lullabies can only be found on AO3 and you need to be logged in to read them, but I highly, highly recommend them. Oh, and also, there are other non-lullaby stories, and they also are all A+.
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Text
Slow Activity…
Hello Everyone,
I do apologize for the inactivity here. I’ve been… reflecting. Please expect some relatively slow activity. I have rewritten this post quite a few times in attempt to articulate the exact words of how I feel. No matter how many times I’ve rewritten this post, I find that it’s become harder and harder to tame the explanation. The original intent of this post was meant to be an explanation how I wanted to leave Tumblr. That’s not the answer. Leaving isn’t an answer. In order to fix a problem, the problem has to be acknowledged.
A while ago, I used to be an AU/Ask blog that centered around Sonic and his family. It was a fun and happy little place that I could call my second home. Months after the blog was made and the first film came out, I’ve started receiving asks that proclaimed love and suggestive material. This made me uncomfortable. I had to block. When I added Knuckles to the AU, the asks (though always in the form of anon) became… violent. I had to stop RPing as my AU Sonic for the sake of my mental health and turn off anon.
I’ve shared in the past that I’ve been experiencing some concerns my end. These concerns and problems have been ongoing since 2020. Some have to do in the form of call-out posts, engagements with my friends, and violent asks sent my inbox. I feel that, perhaps, I’ve gained these asks, call-out posts, and harassment due to blocking an account years ago. I also feel that the harassments made to other SCU fans were made because of the block being taken personally.
A block is a block.
I should not have to owe anyone an explanation on why I’ve blocked someone. However, I can see that an explanation has been the demand for years. I can see that if I don’t supply an explanation now on why I’ve blocked you, then you will continue to harass my friends and others in the SCU Fandom. The only explanation that I can supply is this: the asks that we’re sent to me years ago made me uncomfortable. I’ve expressed that plenty of times in the past. I’ve shared this in posts since 2021. I do not owe you an explanation other than that. That continues to be my answer to this day.
A belief was fabricated that I’ve, somehow (?), “influenced” a movement of fans liking Movie!Knuckles and hating Sonic Wachowski. The belief was taken and made into a movement. I’ve seen it here and spread onto other social media platforms. Where this belief came from will forever be a mystery to me. I’m not sure of where these began. These posts on saving Sonic in the second (and upcoming) third film, the artwork, the harassments of other fans, the movie’s actors and writers… these are made out of anger of being blocked.
I understand that a block can hurt. I do. I can completely understand why you’re angry at me to this day still. And I’m sorry that it hurt. The block was made… and they were made to the other accounts that were made in attempt to follow me again. I can understand that the anger still exists to this day. You have every right to be angry at me. All that I ask is that the anger and frustration that lies within your heart is not directed at members of the SCU fandom anymore.
I hate creating drama. I do. But this post needs to be made public. I can see that blocking, reporting, an turning off DMs/anon is not enough anymore. I do believe that as soon as I publish this post, I will be selectively active here.
This needs to stop. This is not okay.
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psychopathicfreak · 29 days
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Did I leave you without attention for too long? I hope you missed it, as much as you’re capable to.
Now, I don’t want to turn this ask/ask sequence into some stupid kinnie shit. I have complicated thoughts about past lives. All I’ll say: Most of tumblr use the idea of reincarnation and past memories as an easy way to manipulate others into thinking they owe them shit without putting any real effort in. I can appreciate good manipulation, don’t get me wrong! Never met a good manipulator there, though.
That little fish in your inbox sounds so submissive, I want to chain them up. For starters.
Your latest essay about this idiotic fandom was a pleasure. Virtue signaling. The desperation with which some people want to seem as good guys who like good things makes me want to vomit. I’ll agree with you on practically every point made, but especially on mischaracterization. I wonder if it has something to do with your cluster b placement? Something about being misunderstood.
Changing the topic: Tell me about your time and experience in sex work.
—- 💠
. . . I did, admittedly . I can’t tell if it would be better for you to have guessed that or if you read my post alluding to it .
You know, it can be necessary to do, and show ( including through words ), rather than just say . Simply stating that you were X or did Y in another life honestly doesn’t mean much to me . I mean, it’s a point of interest, yes, but not much beyond that, especially considering how easy it is to lie or be mistaken about that .
I honestly think a lot of people are just playing a role for fun, and that doesn’t interest me . I also don’t appreciate that being likened to my experience which runs a lot deeper .
I hate being misrepresented purely because it’s misrepresentation . I’d rather have something horrible and true said about me than far less horrible and untrue . . . I feel like those of us who have strong Cluster B traits are especially misrepresented and made to feel misunderstood, so perhaps you’re right . . . It’s fucking irritating .
I’ve been doing sex work for a long time . It’s been over a decade now, and I’ve seen / done almost everything . Sadism was my sexual awakening, before . . . anything really sex — related, and so I’ve seen a lot when it comes to torture and gore as well . I grew up around some of that shit, too, although it wasn’t presented sexually at all . I would say I’m desensitized, but I don’t remember ever being even close to sensitive in that regard .
I wouldn’t say I regret any of it, but I am definitely less comfortable and associate less closely with a lot of my past actions in comparison to my current ones . If I could undo them without it impacting where I am today, I would . However, if it would cost me my current lifestyle and successes in the industry, I would not .
I don’t feel traumatized by it, but if it’s true that Cluster B disorders are always traumagenic ( especially as I don’t only have the presentation of ASPD that is often attributed to genetics ), I think it’s likely that I made myself this way, both sexually ( in terms of my non — standard sexual interests ) and emotionally .
I have been hypersexual as far back as I can remember . I used to watch non — pornographic YouTube videos to appease my sadistic urges and pleasure myself in ways I believed would disfigure me as they were . . . quite aggressive ! Despite that, I still did it every day ? I had some ingrained fantasy of filming “ naked people getting hurt ” despite not having any access to videos or even pictures of anyone who was naked at the time . I would lay in bed every night and imagine up pornographic scenes, and I would get off to them in class by . . . engaging in certain activities with my chair .
I feel like I shouldn’t post this, but oh well ~ !
I saw a YouTube video about the horrors of the porn industry, especially the . . . worst corners of it . It fully flipped the switch in my brain . It seemed perfect . I ALLEGEDLY convinced my friends / acquaintances to be in the videos . I was also in the videos at the time . I thought I could upload them there and get ad revenue since I had no way of knowing which sites anyone used . I only really had access to YouTube and flash games .
Anyway, this ended horrifically for me . There were officers at my door interrogating me, which I . . . wasn’t expecting at all . I felt as if I was being treated like a horrific, perverted deviant and criminal when I was just trying to do what felt natural and like my calling . I was trying to “ work ” which was supposed to be “ good ” .
They put me on suicide watch purely because of how fucked up the situation was .
Anyway, I’m not some sort of fucking pussy, LOL . By that point, I needed my own phone, and I did my research on the current state of the industry ( at the time . . . This was before OF and similar sites took off ) and decided that I would have to go about things differently until I had more freedom .
I ALLEGEDLY sexted those who were into . . . my niche at the time, had their IPs grabbed, blackmailed them for money . I ALLEGEDLY misrepresented myself in order to talk to women who I convinced to get into financial domination . The fact that they fell for it when they were supposed to be mature and I wasn’t supposed to “ know better ” made me see them as incredibly stupid .
I had sugar daddies for a while when I was able to use my own appearance because I looked . . . not alarming to see in a sexual setting . Before, I was kind of forced to work behind the scenes, and I had to rely on manipulation to make people do what I wanted because I didn’t have any real power .
I got a regular job for a little bit during this time too, but . . . that didn’t last long . I’m extremely volatile and hate being told what to do .
When I could, I sold some softcore content and a lot of lewds, but I found the idea of being fucked on camera to be horrifically degrading, especially after everything I’d done to prove I was better than these other stupid bitches ? None of them had what I had ?
Sure, I could just top in porn, but that doesn’t really tend to make you a lot of money, and it wasn’t what people really wanted to see considering I was liked for having both a dick and a pussy ( I don’t have a full pussy, but those cumbrained fucking idiots don’t need to use that), so I used my presence to reach out to other sex workers and wrote them scripts and gave them ideas until they agreed to give me a cut of their money .
It was perfect . . . I worked with them for free for months at first, but now, I have some of them who routinely stay with me and I make a lot of money from them . I make more money than any of them do .
The fact that they are there and I am here proves to me that I am above them . I feel as if they’re almost asking to be objectified as they just . . . put up with it .
I hate when they start complaining, especially about me, because . . . I mean, they are beneath me ? If they were as great as me, they would stop letting themselves be degraded and used, learn to write their own scripts, and stop fucking bitching about their greatest connection . I was writing shit for them when I had no money, after all . I have worked hard and hate not feeling appreciated after all of that .
I find that most of them just want to make money in the way that feels most accessible to them, whereas I believe I can make anything accessible to me if I go about it right and get the right connections .
I have more respect and a lot less anger for the proactive pornstars who like what they do, feel validated and sexy when they whore themselves out and get paid for it or at least feel in control or at peace with what they do .
I think that, these days, a lot of people who do OF and shit like that fall under this category . I would gladly laugh with them about how easy it is to profit off cumbrained, sex addicted losers .
I still think I’m better than them because I could do what they do far easier than they could do what I do, but I think I’m better than pretty much everyone so . . . I don’t really think I’m some sort of pornstarphobe ?
I’m glad to not have to deal with the level of disrespect they get though . I couldn’t deal with that, with being viewed as an item without much intelligence ?
Some of them are like that . . . If they piss me off enough, maybe I’ll call them that .
Not everyone though, I guess . It’s rare, but I genuinely like some of them sometimes .
I’ve never met anyone else in the industry who was born with the level of innate knowledge or passion for it as I was though . I feel . . . born for the role ?
If I do choose to take part in any videos though, I’m going to be the top for sure . It wouldn’t matter as much that it’s a typically less profitable position as I already make money through . . . management and recruitment .
This is by far the most personal thing I’ve posted . . . Preparing to lose followers, LOL .
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kinkandkreep · 1 year
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Ok y'all, here's the plan:
So, first off, we've successfully relocated and though I'll be quite busy these next few weeks, I am still actively working on everything I owe y'all. PLUS, is ya girl's birfday monf!!! Best month for sure, for sure. 😌💁🏾‍♀️
@midnight-the-shadow-wolf Thank you for your patience hun, I am still working on your request and will have it up as soon as possible.
There's also two other requests in my inbox and unfortunately I'm not able to tag you guys, but hopefully you remember who you are. 😭 Lord willing, I'm going to watch ATSV on the 9th and will be able to fulfill Miguel and Miles related asks more accurately after such time. In the meantime, feel free to send in your requests for them (provided you read the rules first)!
Til then though, I got some Miguel angst and the much requested Yandere!Miguel continuation planned for y'all! (I also got like this super self-indulgent drabble to post as a prequel to the angst and once it's up I'd really appreciate you guy's feedback. 😊)
To my people that followed me for Connor content, first, thank y'all ever so much for your patience, y'all are the real ones. 🥺 Secondly, I'm not even gone cap, I have lowkey accidentally misplaced my inspiration to write things for him, but I promised y'all more content for him and darnit, thats what I'm gonna provide! 😤
All that to say, please bare with me y'all, Tee Tee Ari's gettin' it together. 😂
Also I apparently surpassed 700 followers!!?!??! Thank y'all so much????
I truly appreciate every one of my followers and I thank y'all sincerely for every interaction y'all have with me. Really helps keep my spirits high. 😁
Ok, I believe das all. Ari out!✌🏾
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