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icollectyoursins · 3 years

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Jotaro Relationship Head Canons SFW

Because I’m a self indulgent little shit and just love to ignore all of the work I have to do, have some Jotaro head canons. I am but a humble simp, and love this man. So much.

Update as of writing this. Somehow, it got very angsty, so... yeah. Sad man vibes. Also rambly. I just kinda kept going.

Wanna know what I’m willing to write? Rules here!

Have a character, but no idea? Prompt list here!

Looking for more? Master post here!

WARNINGS: None, just angst, but nothing too serious.

Word Count: 2,985

Jotaro’s type is... I mean, it depends, like most people. I don’t think he’s super picky over appearances or things like that, it’s more whether or not he gets along with you and how long he can put up with you. He’s polite (well, as polite as he can be) and courteous, but probably a little more apathetic when you’ve first met. Once you’ve been around for a while he’s more relaxed and almost a little more critical. Mostly because you’re his friend now and he expects more from his friends.

While I was writing this I sort of realized that he could be aromantic. Maybe it’s just my own aro tendencies coming through, but I thought it sort of lined up with his personality. Or at least from my experience with romantic attraction.

Eventually, though, he’ll admit he cares about you a little more than he cares about others. It comes through in little almost compliments. “You did good. Keep it up” or “good job, dealing with this” are common phrases that sound nice on the surface, but it almost feels like he’s trying to pressure you to do more, which is far from the truth.

If it’s not awkward compliments like that, it’s awkward gifts. Always something you had briefly mentioned wanting or stared at a minute longer than you usually do, wrapped in a paper that’s your favourite colour or pattern. Sometimes, though, it’s something you’ve never mentioned that he somehow guessed would be something you wanted.

At the same time, though, he’s oblivious or at least acts like he is. There may be times when he goes home after you said something exceptionally sweet to him or that just means so much and he’ll just take a moment sitting at his desk to mull over what you said.

With a grunt, Jotaro rolled back into the armchair with a cup of tea in one hand and today’s newspaper in the other, since he didn’t get to read it this morning. It’s late with the sun almost completely set, giving his room an orange hue. He tries reading the first column, something about a cat being saved from a sewer grate, but after about a minute, he catches himself drifting away, sort of staring blankly at the paper.

He blinks hard, taking a long sip from his coffee. He must be tired. Another attempt is made at reading, this time the comics. They’re not his favourite thing, but short enough that he can focus on them. Or so he thought.

He zones out again, face suddenly feeling very hot.

He was thinking about you. Or, rather what you said.

It was something so simple, so mundane.

You had been talking about family together, exchanging drama, if you will, and he had brought up how his father had left his mother when he was very young. It didn’t bother him, he had said, after all, it was years ago and if he was being honest, he didn’t really need a father. Then, you gave him this look. It wasn’t pity or something like that. You put your hand on his knee, staring deep into his eyes.

“Jotaro,” you said, voice soft and sweet. You struggled to say the next words, opening your mouth, sighing, then finally: “I’m not leaving you.”

“Why would you be leaving?” He said, confused, taking it literally. Or, he pretended to be confused. It had made his heart warm with affection.

What Jotaro hadn’t noticed at that moment was that his eyes seemed to gloss over with wet tears while talking about his father. He wasn’t over it, you understood that. How could he be? He was so young then, he probably didn’t understand what was happening or why and now that he’s a father himself, there had to be so much guilt about being the same way. It was only now that he was realizing how much you had an effect on him.

It didn’t make him sad, by any means but... loved. He’ll say thank you tomorrow with a gift or some flowers. He hadn’t planned on meeting you for the rest of the week because he was busy, but work could wait, right? Yeah. Tomorrow.

God, it would take so long for him to get you to move in together. He’s so used to living on his own that I think he’s a little self-conscious about it. He’s not a slob by any means, but certainly a bachelor. I mean, he lived (assumedly) on his own from probably around or earlier than DiU right up until Stone Free, so it’s been a while and he’s certainly comfortable with his mess of clothes lying on the floor in the corner, but you won’t be. He cleans up before people come over, obviously, but how many times did he actually invite someone in?

When you start staying around more, he starts cleaning more, which makes him a little frustrated both coming to terms with liking someone enough that he’s actively cleaning for them once a week and also discovering that he’s a lot more gross than he thought. You would not believe how stained the counter was from coffee or how gross the filter was on the coffee maker. He takes his coffee very seriously. You begin to notice how clean everything is, well, how consistently clean everything is and it even starts to smell nicer, more floral and fresh. He bought a lavender air freshener. “It’s supposed to be calming,” he’ll say with a hint of annoyance. It’s not a bad smell to him, better than vanilla air fresheners, but it does give him a headache when he first sprays his place. You seem to like it though, so he’s willing to put up with it.

I honestly believe this man can cook, but nervous when cooking for other people. His food when he was a bachelor was good enough for him and I’m sure Holly would have shown him a lot too, but it’s not the best food. He definitely steps up his game when you’re over and even more so when you move in. He’s better with dishes that have pasta or noodles because it’s easy, but he’s not too bad behind the grill either.

When you guys finally live together, he tries to keep the cooking even, with you cooking some days and him doing the rest, but I honestly feel like unless you are a hazard in the kitchen, you would do most of it.

Jotaro would be like that with most things around the house partly because he doesn’t want you to do all the work if you don’t want to but he enjoys having a little more time to himself to either do work or... yeah, it’s just work. There are a few things that he’ll never make you do because it’s either too hard or he’s built up a routine of doing that thing a certain way and he’s convinced no one else will do it right. Like his laundry. He won’t let anyone else clean his clothes. He tried once and nothing dried right, he swears that his jacket is still damp to this day. You can fold his stuff or hang it up, but he’s running the washing machine and dryer. Also picky about how his office is cleaned.

If you asked and gave a legitimate reason for not doing a certain chore, he’ll do it, but be prepared with an excuse as to why you can’t wash the dishes or fold the laundry. He’s especially resistant if he’s working whether that be gathering information for the Speedwagon Foundation or editing his latest Marine Biology book.

Actually, can we just talk about how much this man hates folding laundry? It’s so pointless to him. Why fold it and put it into neat little piles when you’re just gonna rummage through the drawer and mess everything up? Sure, it looks nice, I guess, but not for long. He was for sure a floordrobe kind of guy, especially in his early years. He knows which ones are clean, it’s fine, just leave it. Of course, he would get better the longer you’re at his place, but still. It’s not that he’s lazy, he’s just busy and putting clothes away takes way too fucking long. (which, honestly, agreed.)

Date nights with Jotaro are... rare. I mean, you live with him, why would he want to go out and pay for something when he could do the same thing at home? They’re nice, of course, but it’s more common for him to take you out to dinner while you guys are on vacation or in a location other than home, because he doesn’t feel like cooking and it’s more special when you’re supposed to go out. Eventually, it clicks in that you are supposed to make each other feel special and will surprise you with an expensive dinner or a short cruise. If you suggest the aquarium he’ll think you’re just saying that because he’s into aquatic wildlife, but honestly doesn’t put up much of a fight and will answer any questions you or anyone else has about the fish.

He does enjoy a good relaxing movie (or documentary) night at home, though. It’s so nice to finally be finished work, settle into your super comfy couch and just chill until he gets tired. Even better when you’re lying on top of him with your head just under his chin. There’s something so soothing about smelling your perfume, shampoo, conditioner, cologne, etc. To just smell you so close to him and feel your weight. Aaah. So nice.

The microwave beeps faintly from the kitchen signalling that popcorn was done. You trailed out soon after, tossing the bowl to mix around the butter. You smile sweetly at him, leaning down to plant a gentle kiss on Jotaro’s lips before settling into his lap, nestling your head just under his while stretching out your legs. His arm instinctively moves from the back of the couch to drape over your back, rubbing circles into it with his thumb.

He sighs; relaxed, finally. He allows himself to kiss your forehead, closing his eyes for a moment, just basking in your comfort. When he opens his eyes, he pulls you closer to him, feeling your heart beat almost in time with his. It was moments like these that eased his panic of losing you. You were here in his arms, safe and sound and vice versa. He was safe in yours.

Yeah, he’s a little angsty. But, can you blame him? He’s getting better, though. With help, of course. With you being around so often (and being very adamant that you’re not going anywhere) he’s able to let go a little. He’s not perfect, by a long shot and progress is slow, but it’s the little things like these that makes you proud of how far he’s come.

PDA is common, but a little restricted. When you’re out together, Jotaro’ll always have his hand on your back or shoulder. Hand-holding isn’t really a thing for him, but he will make sure you know he’s there. He’ll kiss you in public, but it’s not nearly as intimate or special as when you’re at home. Still, it’s a sweet reminder that he loves you, seeing as words of affection aren’t really his thing.

I mean, he can express himself just fine, but he still gets a little nervous saying things like ‘I love you.’ It’s more along the lines of ‘I care about you.’ Or, well. “of course, I care about you. You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” Which... thanks. I think.

Kissing him is so nice, so you’re not too mad about him doing that instead of words. When Jotaro kisses you it’s full of a mix of emotions. Mostly caring, but on his rough days, there’s something else there. It could be worry or whatever the emotional equivalent of never letting you go is. You can always tell that he wants it to last a little bit longer. There’s something in the sad look in his eyes when he or you has to pull away. Sometimes he’s overly gentle like he’ll break you somehow, especially if you’re not a stand user or fighting-inclined (whether physical or otherwise). It’s not patronizing, or at least he tries not to be patronizing, he just prefers you safe.

It started out simple enough. You and Jotaro were just sitting at the table, eating dinner when he got this... sinking sort of feeling. There was something in the silence between you that just sent his mind spiralling. Thoughts of you someday dying too soon for whatever reason or leaving him because he’s not there enough, stand users, car crashes, divorce. They all started to flood into his mind, fabricating that you would somehow be taken away from him.

“Jotaro? Are you okay?” Your voice rings through; a bright light breaking the storm. He’s been staring at his plate for a while now, his eyes are dry and itchy. He looks at you and tries to say something, but the words don’t come. Is he okay?

You stand up and walk over to him, cupping his face gently. You rub the dark circles under his eyes while kissing his forehead. Jotaro slowly wraps his arms around you, letting his face fall into your hands. You’re pulled into his lap after a few minutes, running your fingers through his hair next. Finally, he sighs, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Thank you,” he mumbles and though you’re not quite sure why, you still say a quiet you’re welcome, silently soothing him through whatever happened.

If you couldn’t tell, he needs a lot of reassurance. Not so much words, but actions like the snippet above. I mean, he can be as strong as he wants but we all know he’s got some baggage and while he’s able to put it aside, for the most part, I think when you’re at home he’s just a little more vulnerable.

Now, onto happier things! If you like coffee or tea, he will always make you a cup in the morning. Jotaro is a very early riser except on the weekends, so he usually gets that done while reading or watching the news and when you come down, he’ll ask if you want breakfast then make it for you seeing as he’s more awake.

He loves coffee. So much. He might have a caffeine addiction, honestly. At all times of every day, you can see him with a black coffee in hand and a book or phone in the other. He will switch to decaf at some point, but you might have to switch it for him. He’s forgetful when he gets busy.

Sleeping in on the weekends is like heaven for him. The two nights (or more on holidays) that he gets a full nights rest, breakfast in bed and a warm soul to cuddle into. He’s usually big spoon with a hand just resting on your side, but please, for the love of god make him the little spoon once a week. Will never admit it or vocalize wanting it. He just grabs your hand and drapes it over him with a “good night” and then promptly passes out.

He’s a heavy sleeper but doesn’t sleep often. Once he’s out, there is nothing that could wake him up except the fire alarm or something like that. It just takes a while. Not because of trauma, but more just internal clock is delayed.

Not a bath guy, strictly showers ‘cause they’re quicker. Most of the time he’s in and out before you can invite him into yours. When you do he’s “reluctant” but showers with you are a favourite of his. He gets his hair washed for him (if he bends down), he can wash you. It’s great.

I don’t think he would want more kids. He’s getting older, busier and just doesn’t think he has the time to care for a baby, even with help. Plus, if they were anything like Joylne or god forbid him when he was younger, he might start greying sooner than he thought. Joylne is a great kid, but... she’s definitely got some of his defiance in him. One kid is fine.

He doesn’t really like pets either, hates when there’s fur on all the furniture. But, if you came home with a stray cat or two, he’s not gonna put up a fight if you say they’re not going to the pound. “Just as long as you take care of them yourself.”

You got him a betta fish once because Jotaro. Fish. Makes sense. He thought it was a little pointless at first. You can’t pet them or play fetch (not like he does those things anyway). All a fish does is sit there and look pretty. You were a little disappointed, but whatever, you’ll take care of it. Then he comes home one day with a 30-gallon tank, freshwater plants and fancy lighting to help them grow which he quietly sets up in the living room. He spent at least a half-hour deciding on where to put it.

A week later, after he’s pleased with how it looks and the tank has been cycled he puts in an order for more fish then lets your betta acclimate to the tank. “There, he’ll be happier in here. The idea of bettas not enjoying or panicking in larger tanks is a myth. He won’t be alone for long anyway. He also won’t kill everything in the tank.” Well, he hopes he won’t, each fish is different. Thankfully, the small school of tetras get along with your betta just fine. From then on, he’s in there once a week, cleaning everything, trimming the overgrowth. It is officially his tank.

#Jotaro is probably my biggest comfort character and the first one I really fell in love with out of jojo so this had to be done at some poin #jotaro kujo #kujo jotaro #jotaro kujo x reader #jotaro x reader #jotaro headcanons #sfw prompts

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teaspoon-full-of-sugar · 4 years

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kissed by mist and can dew attitude

pairing: harry styles x reader (farmers market au)

warnings: awkwardness!! shy!baker!harry, mentions of the qu*rantine, drug use, harry's chest hair, giggly, sweet high sex, some dirty talk :) unprotected sex

word count: 3.4k

synopsis: harry is an idiot, and y/n is a bit of a tease

author’s note: you can read this for a little background to this au (but it’s not really necessary; i tend to over explain things anyway, so you can get a pretty good understanding just from this) literally no one asked for this, but market season is coming up again, and i missed writing about these two :( hope you enjoy! xx

masterlist

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Harry is so tired of being cooped up in this house.

Don’t get him wrong, he loves staying home.

He is normally the introvert that puts all other introverts to shame. He loves staying at home, he loves hiding away after a stressful day at work, he goes out of his way to not talk to anyone while he’s out, and he very rarely ever goes out on the weekends. He loves just being able to stay at home, relax, and not worry about anyone bothering him.

But, at a certain point, it becomes too much; now, he just wants to get out, go for a walk, go to the grocery store, talk to someone other than Y/N, just do something, anything, other than staying at home. Yes, it’s for a good reason, and he doesn’t want to be responsible for the illness spreading, but it’s also straining on his mental, physical, and financial health.

He honestly wants to go back to work.

Since this entire situation started, Harry has only had a couple of shifts at The Sweet Spot, since, apparently, cafes are “essential businesses”, but the nutrition store next door isn’t (the world definitely has their priorities straight). Honestly, it was kind of nice; he didn’t have to schmooze any customers, since he only saw the delivery drivers. There was the occasional ignorant person who would come up to the doors and pull on them, despite the very clear signs saying that they were not open to the public, only to find them locked, and Harry very happily told them to go away.

However, Marty couldn’t afford to have him take up any more shifts, which he completely understands, so he’s been stuck home for weeks.

Needless to say, both he and Y/N have been getting a little stir crazy.

They tried to keep a somewhat healthy lifestyle in the beginning, hiking the nearby trails or walking at the park, but everything started to become too crowded. They even went cycling, but Harry proved to be even more of a klutz on a bike than on his own two feet, resulting in a bump on his head and a scraped elbow, which is still healing beneath a floral printed plaster.

Y/N’s had some failed experiments, leading to several four-hour kitchen clean-ups, and she also started a “Fermentation Station”, with dozens of glass jars filled with fermenting fruits and teas, the smell of yeast strong in the air. She was so proud of herself the first time she made carbonated water from things they already had in the house (“Look, Harry, it’s so convenient”). She ended up adding more and more things to her collection. They argued about it for a couple of days before she finally settled and moved her jars to the back porch after the kitchen started smelling like alcohol.

While Y/N has her experiments, Harry stress-bakes. He can’t even count how many loaves of bread, fruit pastries, cookies, and cakes he has made. He made crepes using sourdough starter. That’s how bored he’s been. He waited five whole days for his starter to mature, just to make four crepes between himself and Y/N.

But, there’s only so many things to do before you’ve completely run out of ideas.

On this particularly boring day, it’s two in the afternoon before they finally get out of bed, no thanks to their terrible sleep schedules, and they move onto the couch, which is officially broken in after how many hours they’ve spent on it. It’s sunny outside, bright and warm, the bright light beaming through the large bay windows in the living room, making staying inside even worse.

Y/N convinces him to paint his fingernails (and not just his toenails), and he happily indulges her. It’s nice feeling pampered for once, and whenever Y/N gets into her let’s-have-a-spa-day moods, she goes all out. While his toenails, painted with a pretty green color called Can Dew Attitude and a shimmery top coat on them, dried, she put some all-natural mud mask on his face, that bubbled and seeped into his skin.

“This is great for your pores,” she says as she puts a lukewarm cloth on his mask. “Not that you have bad skin. It’s better than mine, you ass.”

He just smiles, feeling the clay crack, and leans into her touch. She’s gentle, waiting until most of it is soft and pliable before she wipes it away. As she dries his face, with a towelette that smells like lavender and honey, his freshened skin, flushed and smooth, glows in the afternoon sun, his pretty eyes magnified behind a pair of thick, black framed glasses. Y/N sits across from him, her leg tucked up underneath her with his hand steady on her knee.

“It’s not gonna, like,” he pauses, glancing warily at his nails, “poison you or anything, right?”

“What?” She laughs, putting an oil around his cuticles. He leans forward, watching her carefully. He readjusts the headband, inadvertently pushing it back a little too far, until some curls slip onto his forehead. She hits the bottle of Kissed by Mist against her palm, the pale pink polish making a nice ticking sound. She starts on his nails, but not before making a comment about how cute his little pinkie is, which makes him flustered.

“It’s not gonna poison you when I, ya know, like… when I…”

He motions with his free hand, grouping his ring and middle fingers together and curling them, and he bites on his cheek, brows furrowed, trying to see any changes in her expression. He stops and shakes his head, a frail blush creeping up to his ears.

“By the way you’re reacting, ‘m assuming it’s not a thing,” he sighs.

“No, the polish will not poison me when you finger—“

“Shh,” he hushes her, pressing his hand against her lips. She pushes him away.

“Harry, we are the only ones here,” she says, finishing his right hand.

“Ya know what that mouth does to me,” he mutters.

“Really? You get turned on when I say, ‘finger me’?”

“Ya know I do,” he pouts, grappling for her. His hands twist the thick cotton of her jumper for only a second before she’s scooting away, swatting at him.

“No, H, your nails are still wet,” she says, and he groans, sinking back into the couch cushions.

“So bored.”

“Everyone is,” she says, filing down his left thumb nail.

“Wanna get high?”

He just wants to stop this feeling of absolute boredom. It’s better since Y/N is here with him, but it’s getting to a certain point where he’s willing to do just about anything to feel, well, anything.

One night, they tried her “prison wine”, which was just cranberry cocktail and yeast that fermented for a couple of days; it tasted worse than it sounds. It did, however, get them very drunk, and they woke up the next morning with pounding headaches, upset stomach, and purple stained lips. It was honestly the worst hangover he’s ever had, and he vowed to never try it again.

Getting stoned has then become a regular thing. On those horribly boring nights where they had absolutely nothing to do, where they’ve both been on the couch for hours, not being able to find the willpower to move, and on those nights where they just wanted to feel and simply be elsewhere, they found solace in the warming daze.

She grins.

“Sure, I think we still have some gummies,” she says, moving toward their “special” drawer in the side table.

“Only a half this time, lovie,” he says as she turns back, and she rolls her eyes.

“They were a lot stronger than the other ones,” she says, ripping the poorly stuck tape from the plastic packaging.

“I know,” he smiles, popping the candy in his mouth. She sits back down beside him, her leg thrown over his lap. He moves his hand dangerously close to her inner thigh, his fingers dancing along the length of her thigh until they reach the hem of her panties, tugging at the material until it snaps back. He’s so close to feeling her warmth, if only he moves just a little further, but she yanks his hand back, puts it on her knee, and gives him a smug little smile, continuing her work.

It takes an hour, or two more coats of nail polish, for the edibles to kick in, but when they do, Harry thinks he pissed himself. Forgetting about Y/N’s leg across his lap, he mistakes her warmth as pee, and he jerks up, jolting her. She looks up at him, blinking. There’s a strip of white polish on the side of his thumb.

“You are so good at this,” he says slowly. He honestly couldn’t imagine painting such tiny details if he were sober; he doesn’t know how she’s doing it stoned. She’s swaying and blinking slowly, but she looks focused, her brows furrowed.

“You’re good at this,” she mumbles.

“What?” He laughs.

“I don’t know,” she says. “It’s easy if I can concentrate.” Her eyes flicker up to his, a smirk curled over her lips.

“‘M I distracting you?” He raises a brow.

“I can feel your cock,” she says.

“Please, don’t say cock while you’re touching my cock,” he says, readjusting his growing bulge. She just chuckles and moves her foot along his boxers, where his semi and the top of his thighs connect. His hips twitch.

She barely caps the nail polish before she tosses it to the side and straddles him. He cups her hips, the fact that his nails are still wet long gone from both of their minds. She holds him by the neck, tilting his head back. Before she can capture his lips, he hesitates, his hands tracing along her thighs.

“Are you sure?”

Even though they’re practically living together at this point and have had sex plenty of times, he can’t help but ask her that same question every time. He’s never been one to feel secure in himself, and to have someone who is so open and willing to trust him, it’s overwhelming and intimidating sometimes.

“Of course, H,” she says, nibbling at his bottom lip, and then, he kisses her, fully and profoundly. He could just melt into her, his senses consumed by her warmth and love. He wouldn’t go as far as saying that the sex is better than when they’re sober. It’s great all the time, but there’s something about being high, with his skin buzzing and all of his senses heightened yet dulled at the same time, that makes the experience different. It’s different because he’s not worried about what he’s doing and saying; he’s focusing on the feeling, all of the sensations and simply her.

She tries to pull his shirt over his head, but it gets caught on the chain around his neck, and she tugs a little too hard, yanking it tightly around his throat.

“Easy, Y/N,” he laughs, holding onto her wrists. “I know you’re eager to get me naked, but I think you forget that I am also precious cargo.” Her lips sink into a pout, and he’s able to get the shirt off, throwing it off to the side, his headband going with it.

“You are precious,” she says, squishing his cheeks together. She cups the back of his neck and pecks his lips, gentle and loving. “Love these little baby hairs,” she says, running her hand over his skin, teasing and tugging on his chest hairs.

“They’re not baby hairs,” he says, pouting. He teases his hands along her hips, nails digging into her fleshy skin. “I am a man.”

“Oh, I know,” she chuckles, feeling his hips jerk up, pressing his swelling bulge into her. He wraps his arms around her waist, fingers tracing along the expanse of her back, and nestles his face into her chest. She shifts further up on his lap, fingers carding through his soft hair. Being far too lazy to take it off, he sucks on her breasts through her worn tee, her nipples hardening in his teeth. She pushes his boxers down and readjusts herself over him, rubbing her clothed pussy along his pulsing cock. She tugs her panties to the side, and he moans at the sudden warmth, her arousal coating him.

“You like that?” She asks breathily, rocking her hips faster. “Like feeling me drip onto your cock?”

“What if I just—” She teases the head of his cock, just barely pushing him inside before she pulls out. He can barely make a sound, his throat tightening when

“You like it when I tease your cock? Can feel you throbbing.” Her eyes roll back at the burning feeling of him just breaking past the barrier of her tightness. “So needy for me, bubba.”

“Such a dirty mouth,” he moans.

“Tell me, babe.” She holds him by the jaw, the pads of her fingers pressing perfectly into his pressure points, and he struggles for breath, making his head even lighter and obscured. He grins. “Tell me how much you love my pussy,” she says as she sinks fully onto him, her walls swallowing him easily.

“Fuck,” he moans, long and drawn out. His head falls onto the couch cushions, eyes closing to savor the feeling of her gripping him, but she pulls him back, forcing him to keep eye contact. “I love it; love you more, though,” he says.

“Say it,” she coos.

He blushes, heat spreading from his chest to the tip of his ears. He has never been vocal when it comes to sex; he always gets flustered and anxious when having a normal conversation, so he couldn’t even imagine how how awkward he would be while trying to talk dirty. It’s even more difficult because of how much she’s teasing him, slow and languid movements up and down his cock, his head just barely inside her before she comes back down, her hips grinding against his. She has this look in her hooded eyes, a lustful and greedy look, that’s telling him to give in to his instincts.

“Love y-your pussy, baby,” he moans.

“Yeah?” She starts riding him faster, her walls milking him. He groans. “Tell me how it feels, H.” She smirks, like an actual full blown, teasing smirk; she knows exactly how good she’s making him feel. She likes seeing him so flustered and babbly and incoherent.

“So fucking good, so warm and wet, perfect for me, lovie,” he says, and she grins, teeth bared. She kisses him, messily and harshly. His arms wrap tightly around her waist, stilling her hips, and a hand travels up the length of her spine, beginning at the curve of her bum, dipping momentarily beneath her large tee, before moving up to the back of her neck, pressing her lips tighter to his. He cradles her head while he moves onto the floor, but it’s not nearly as graceful as he hoped it would be. They crash to the ground.

“Oh, god,” she squeals, and her walls squeeze him painfully tight. Her nails dig into his back.

“Wha’s wrong?” He wipes the sweat from his forehead, fingers raking through his hair.

“No, no,” she stutters, hands moving onto the swell of his ass, keeping him still. “You’re so deep.”

He swears his arms are going to give out at the sound of her sweet little whisper, her voice weak and broken.

“H-how deep?”

He can’t help the break in his voice, and embarrassment floods him. He’s honestly trying his hardest to sound sexy, but he just sounds like an idiot.

“As deep as the ocean,” she mumbles, and she looks so positively fucked, out of it and dazed with hooded eyes; he honestly doesn't even think she realizes what she said because when he starts laughing, she gives him the cutest look, her brows furrowed, lips curled. “What?”

“Congrats,” he says, leaning back and onto his knees, his arms curled under her thighs, knees hooked over his arms. “You almost just made me go soft. Never done that before.”

“Shut up,” she says, grinding her hips into him. His thrusts start slow, deliberate, but the more she reacts to him, the more she bucks and grinds, the faster they become, until he can’t anymore, driving his cock in with fast, precise thrusts.

“You look so good like this,” he says, groping her breasts over her tee, nipples swollen and hard. They move with every thrust of his hips.

“Thanks, it’s the shirt,” she says breathily, a weak smile on her lips. “It covers up all my ugly parts.”

“Tha’s not what I meant,” he says, frowning. He leans over her, hands on either side of her head, and she lets out a weak moan as his cock moves deeper inside her. “Look beautiful all the time.” He genuinely looks sad as he brushes away a bead of sweat from her forehead. “You don’ have to take your shirt off when we have sex, not if you don’ want to. I take it off normally because I thought it would be more comfortable for you, and, le’s be honest, your tits are amazing, and I love seeing your curves and your—”

She suddenly pulls him in for a kiss, ceasing his ramblings. He’s cute when he gets all nervous; despite the fact he’s balls deep inside her, he’s still a worrier. It’s sweet that he’s concerned about how she’s feeling, even though he’s not fully present, with red cheeks and hooded eyes, chest heaving for breath. She raises her hips, grinding up into him, her swollen clit just barely grazing against his abdomen. She clenches around him at the sharp, sudden burst of pleasure.

She raises her feet from the floor, and he presses her knees to her chest. The sound of him fucking himself into her wet cunt fills the air, obscenities and pleasured whimpers joining. Not having the energy to kiss fully, he traces his lips along the curve of her jaw, tender and messy. His thrusts become sharper and deeper, knocking the breath from her lungs with every move of his hips.

“Oh, god, ‘m so fucking wet.” She laughs, feeling through her soaked curls to her throbbing clit. She really is; her arousal drips onto their thighs and into the carpet. Her head spins, burning pleasure building as he grinds into her and spreads her legs further apart.

“Fuckin’ hell—” He whines as she tightens around him, her fingers rubbing her little clit raw.

“‘M gonna come,” she moans, tugging at his hair. “C’mon, baby,” she coos, “want you to—” She swallows thickly, her breathing shallow. Her eyes roll back as she pinches her poor swollen clit, her thighs trembling. She meets his thrusts, eager for her impending orgasm. “Want you to come in me, wanna feel your cum in my—”

She lets out one loud moan, her body trembling and shuddering beneath him as pleasure rushes through her, leaving her limbs tingling and her mind muddled. They bask in the afterglow, their breaths in sync and deep, and he slumps onto her, wrapping his arms around her, tracing his hands over any piece of skin he can. He just wants to savor this feeling, the closeness, the warmth, the tenderness.

Her hand suddenly fishes over to the caramels that Harry made a couple days ago, which have been taunting her in a faux-crystal bowl on the coffee table for the past couple of minutes. The make-shift wax paper wrapper crinkles, and the sound makes him look up, his eyes still hooded, movements languid with exhaustion. He opens his mouth sleepily, and she rips the caramel in half. They both moan at the same time at the taste and fall into a fit of giggles. He moves to his side, his chest pressed to her back, softening cock pressed to the curve of her bum.

“Sorry,” he says, “messed up your art.” He flashes his nails, the pink paint still soft and pliable, littered with nicks and dents and imprints from the couch cushions. She hooks her fingers through his and tugs his hand down to her lips.

“Worth it.”

—

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #ellie writes #ellie writes fluff #ellie writes smut #gif not mine #credit to owner

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junquisite · 4 years

Text

Fated to love 2

PAIRING : Park Junhee X OC X Kim Wooseok

GENRE : Fluff, Angst

WORD COUNT : 2.9k

PARTS : I+P 1 2

AUTHOR’S NOTE : From now on italics mean that its real but from a past moment, so memories are in italics, regular font means present.

Seungyoun joined Wooseok at the cafe he invited him to and wooseok scowled at the first words that left his friend’s mouth.

“So what did you fucked up now?”

“I did no such thing.” Wooseok gritted out as he passed Seungyoun’s usual order towards him - Latte and a pastry while he sipped on his ice americano. He vaguely noticed how similar Seungyoun and Bora’s tastes are but then the both of them used to love going to different restaurants and cafes together so.

“You only specifically call me for breakfast when you do something. And Bora has returned from swiss 2 weeks ago. Thats too long for you to not fuck up.” Seungyoun concluded as he happily smiled at his visibly pissed friend.

Wooseok sighed and told Seugnyoun everything - from the party to the dinner he crashed. Seungyoun stared at him for far too long he was comfortable with so he fidgeted with his phone.

“I don't know if you intentionally do this but why do you act like an asshole to her when you love her?”

Wooseok sputtered a loose explanation about how it was not his fault but Seungyoun knew it was just his jealousy acting up - which knowing Wooseok, he would never accept. Seungoyun also pointedly noted how he didn't deny the part that he was in love with her and that was interesting.

“Apologise to her Wooseok. You were too much.” Seungyoun finally said and Wooseok nodded - already planning on how to apologise to her.

“I am so sorry i had to call you both in so late! I wanted to meet for lunch but I had an important meeting, but thank you for making time to meet me at this time!” Junhee saw as she trailed off when she looked up and only saw him.

“Where is Donghun?” she asked and he nodded outside.

“He had an important call, he’ll be in soon.” he said and she nodded and got back up from the crouching position she was in before with her back towards him which led to her rambling as she had done.

There was an awkward silence in the office as she fumbled with the papers and he kept staring at her.

“Did Donghun say anything after you left?” she asked finally and he nodded in a negative.

“Why?”

“He's too smart to not figure out that we have known each other longer than meeting yesterday for the first time.” she remarked and Junhee shrugged.

“He figured you were the girl I met at switzerland. He wanted to know if I was uncomfortable working with you and wanted to cancel the collaboration.” he said and saw as her eyes widened, she really wanted this to happen.

“Oh..do you want to? Cancel it?” she asked softly and he wanted to go close to her, comfort her and promise her to even bring the stars if she asked for, this collaboration was nothing.

“No. we’ll move forward with it.”

She nodded and the room fell in silence again.

He saw her hesitate and sigh. “Why..did he think you would be uncomfortable with working with me?” she asked and he mentally debated if he should tell how he was when he got back. Finally he decided to come clean, she should know that he's here, and now in front of her.

“When i got back.. It was hard to concentrate on work - i could only think of you. A girl i met in switzerland whom i knew nothing about more than that she lived in seoul and was returning a week after me. So the sunday you were supposed to come back, a day before i checked all the flights coming to seoul from swiss, even checked the ones who’ll have pit stops. There were 7 in total and I was ready to spend the whole day at the airport just to see you again. He stopped me.

He said something which made me listen to him and not come.”

He saw that she was staring at him wide-eyed, hanging on his every word.

“He said i left my contact number to her and she still hasn't texted me for the whole week. That i was just a vacation fling for her and meant nothing more then that and that i need to stop being dumb.” he finished.

He saw her flinch as he was talking but that was exactly what Donghun had told him. And she needed to know it too.

“I'm sorry I was late, should we get started?” Donghun asked as he came in and the gloomy mood of the room slightly lifted as Bora gave him a strained smile. If Donghun noticed it, he didn't comment on it.

“I ordered us Sandwiches. I hope you both will like it.'' She said as she passed both of them Subway bags and Junhee took his, only to look inside and find a chocochip cookie which was missing from Donghun’s as he saw him emptying the content on the table.

He looked across at her to see she was avoiding his eyes.

“It's 3 am.” she said incredulously staring at him.

“You don't know the fun of eating Subway sandwiches at 3 am.” as he wrapped a scarf around her and pulled her outside her room. Junhee pulled a whiney Bora to the subway 5 minutes away from her Hotel and went to order 2 chicken sandwiches and ice tea.

“Cookie?” he asked her and she said no.

He came back with one chocochip cookie though.

“I love these. I sometimes feel like Subway chocochip cookies are the best ever in the world.” he said as he took a big bite of it and moaned in pleasure. She slapped his arm in between her laughs.

Junhee took a bite of his cookie. She remembered it seemed. Now was it a good sign actually or not, he wondered.

Bora was tired and only craving her bed by the time she reached home. So she was not expecting any guest - and especially not Kim Wooseok. So when she saw him, a sigh involuntarily slipped through her mouth.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I brought dinner.” he said as he showed her the bag he was holding. It was the restaurant she loved but it only took advance bookings and she was sure this was an impromptu visit so it meant he paid whoever had the chance to bring her food. She vaguely wondered how much he paid the person.

“How long have you been here?” she asked as she realised it was almost midnight - way past dinner time.

“A while.” he muttered and she sighed. It meant hours.

“Why didn't you wait inside? The code is the same as we set when we bought this.” she muttered as she walked past him to open the door and wave him inside.

“I didn't want to intrude.” he answered and she scoffed, turning around to stare at him.

“Why are you actually here Wooseok?” she asked and he looked away, clearly avoiding her eyes. She saw as his ear reddened and she raised an eyebrow.

“I wanted to apologise.. For the party and yesterday dinner too.” he muttered while looking down at the floor and she ran a hand through her hair. Her face softened.

“I have had dinner already.” she settled on as he looked up at her and nodded, slightly looking like a kicked puppy. “I’ll get going then. Goodnight.” he told her as he turned to leave.

“Wooseok..” she called his name and he turned around. He looked young but tired, like how they used to be when they used to have their finals and would spend nights living on energy drinks and coffees - no matter how cold their relationship had turned now and how much she hated his guts now- he was still her best friend that she has known since kindergarten.

“Stay.. i’ll sit with you while you eat. And you can sleep in the guest room.”

Bora woke up to the smell of fresh eggs and toast and coffee and if you ask her, that probably is what heavens smell like to her. She freshened up and then dragged herself to her kitchen to see Wooseok cooking her breakfast.

“Did you knew you had nothing in your refrigerator except for alcohol?” he asked her and she shrugged.

“I'm pretty sure there was coffee somewhere here.” she said vaguely pointing to her kitchen and he shook his head at her.

“I had to go out for grocery shopping to make you breakfast.” he said as he served her and she thanked him.

“Take whatever food is left to your house though, it’ll go bad here.” she said as Woosoek joined her in eating.

“Shouldn't you learn how to cook about now?” he asked her and she shrugged.

“I usually grab breakfast either at the office or the coffee shop in front of it. Or at the main house if i'm summoned. Plus there’s no one around to teach me to cook.'' She spoke the last part lowly and Wooseok felt his heart clench.

“You can always ask my mom, she would love to teach you.”

As soon as the words slipped his mouth, her head shot up to stare at him as if he grew out another head.

“She hates me Wooseok.” she said with such a painfully straight face that it made even him laugh.

Breakfast ended and she helped him with the dishes.

“I’ll get going now. I have to go home and get dressed too.” he said and she nodded as she walked him to the door.

“Bora..” he trailed off and she smiled at him and for a second he felt like they were back in highschool where she would happily follow him around, laughing with him and making him feel like he was at the top of the world.

“Seungyoun said everyone was meeting for meat and drinks today. You wanna join?”

She looked to be thinking, probably thinking of her schedule.

“Sure. i'm in. i haven't seen him and the guys in a long while too!” she agreed and he smiled. He was already imagining telling a cocky Seungyoun that not only he apologised but she also agreed for the night out - he couldn't wait to see the look on his best friend's face.

“And Wooseok..” her voice brought him out of his thoughts. “Next time you wanna grab dinner, tell me. If not a day before then at least an hour before. I'll clear my schedule for you.” she said with a smile and his heart skipped a beat. This was the Bora he fell in love with all those years ago.

She entered the Barbeque place and the smell hanging in the air reminded her of Highschool and University - when times were better she thought. Once inside, she made her way to the table with the loudest voices and found her friends- Wooseok and Seungwoo were the only silent and smiling ones at the table - the other three were the creators of the noise - Hangyul, Yohan and Seungyoun who all looked halfway drunk. She was only half an hour late from the decided time though.

She took a seat between Seungwoo and Wooseok as Seungyoun passed her a glass of beer.

“I literally just got here.”

“And you have to compensate for the half hour you’re late for.” Seungyoun cheekily said as he passed her a shot of Soju which she happily took. Seungwoo passed her a plate of snacks and she thanked him softly.

An hour passed with drinks and talks and taunts to Bora for not meeting the others more. But it was all good and Wooseok was slightly tipsy and Seungyoun was trying to sober him surprisingly. It was just that Seungyoun had a good alcohol tolerance and Wooseok did not. And drunk Wooseok is clingy as the hand wrapped around her waist and head leaning on her shoulder was reminding her. It was vaguely reminding her of how close they used to be before and suddenly the alcohol in her system felt too much and the restaurant felt suffocating.

She suddenly stood up, Wooseok almost falling on the seat as he was leaning on her and she asked Seungwoo to move, mumbling about needing fresh air. She really needed some.

She was standing outside as the cold air blew and saw the time. A little over 11 pm, none of them will even consider going home before 1 and she sighed. She tugged out her pack of cigarettes and a lighter as she lit one. She wasn't an avid smoker - only smoking occasionally when stressed and the friendly dinner with old friends was leading into dangerous territories - from highschool memories to her and Wooseok almost dating to their sudden engagement. It was frustrating since she knew the reason behind all his attention on her now - he wanted to marry her.

“Fancy seeing you here.” she heard someone speak behind her and turned around to see a smiling Junhee coming to stand beside her. She wanted to scowl at his smiling face but also apologise for never texting him again. She hadn't been able to sleep much last night because she kept thinking about what Junhee had said.

“I didn't know you smoke.” he commented as she took a drag of it and let the smoke out.

“I don't usually. But a tough day makes me want to take one.” she said as she took another drag and Junhee turned around to leave.

“Wait, where are you going?” she asked as he looked behind at her, face unreadable.

“I can't stand the smoke.” he said as he turned and started walking towards the alleyway beside the restaurant. She looked at the cigarette in her hand. Cursing lowly, she threw it on the ground and stomped it with her heels as she walked after him.

“Wait for me!”

After making sure Wooseok was sober enough to not fall, Seungyoun got up to follow behind Bora. He had felt her getting uncomfortable by minute as they kept talking about her and Wooseok and he wanted to make sure she was fine. And also maybe not to be so disgusted by the fact that she was engaged to Wooseok now.

He walked out to see a man standing beside her and paused a little behind, making sure to hide himself but also hear what they were talking about.

“I didn't know you smoke.” the man commented and Seungyoun was surprised that he actually knew her.

“I don't usually. But a tough day makes me want to take one.” he felt guilty when she said that. Was she that uncomfortable with the idea of marrying Wooseok? Isn't she the same person who would blush whenever Wooseok said anything directly to her and literally told him in the morning that she would clear any schedule for him?

“Wait, where are you going?” he heard say and looked up to see the man turning to walk towards the side alleyway.

“I can't stand the smoke.” he said simply and Seungyoun sighed. It brought back memories of the many times anyone had ever told her to not smoke.

It started during University. A huge fight between Wooseok and her that no one ever found the reason for and she went out alone at night. Seungyoun had found himself opening the door of his apartment to a drunk Bora at 4 in the morning smelling strongly of alcohol and smoke.

Since then, she had smoked on multiple occasions followed by someone telling her not to and her retoriting with something.

“You should not smoke.” Seungwoo had told her and she had just shrugged in response, choosing to not smoke in his presence out of respect but not listening.

“The smoke bothers me.” Wooseok had complained once. With a cigarette between her lips, she walked to the door of the apartment and opened it for him saying, “feel free to leave.”

“Smoking kills you eventually.” Aerin had said.

“So does life at one point.” Bora had retorted.

“Can you stop smoking?” he had followed after Aerin who was snuggled in his arms.

“Shut up.” was the crude response he got as she laughed and he joined, taking the cigarette from her hand to take a drag himself.

So maybe he was not the best person but she also has never listened. So when Seungyoun saw her throwing the cigarette down and running after the guy, something dropped in his stomach.

He went back in and joined the others.

“Where is she?” Wooseok asked and Seungyoun shrugged.

“Did not see her. Maybe she went in the side alley to smoke.” he said, not willing to put doubts in the head of a drunk Wooseok. But sober Wooseok has to know. She came about 20 minutes after Seungyoun had come back and the smile and the slight flush of her cheeks were bothering him a bit too much. So he decided he’ll give him some sort of warning at least.

That's Why Wooseok woke up the next day with a killer headache and a text awaiting on his phone from Seungyoun saying, ‘You should have a serious talk with Bora about the engagement.’

#A.C.E #X1 #Kim Wooseok #park junhee #a.c.e smut #x1 smut #up10tion #a.c.e scenarios #a.c.e imagines #a.c.e jun #kim wooseok smut #ACEWRITERS

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whattodowithace · 4 years

Text

Open, for flowers (Chan)

Title: Open, for flowers

Pairing: Reader x Chan (A.C.E)

Genre: Fluff, flower shop AU

Word count: 3201

Writer: Kpopmadness (Ju)

“Chanie, wait for me!” A little girl screeches to her best friend as she runs frantically down the gravel road. Her ponytail swinging in the breeze behind her.

“I am waiting.” The little boy answers shortly, stopping mid run to wait for her small legs to catch up to him.

She huffs as she comes up beside him. “Where are we going?” She asks impatiently.

“My book says this time of year there’s special flowers blooming. I want to go see.”

Chan loved everything flowers and wildlife. He had a big book that he used to chart when certain flowers would bloom, how long they would keep, the list going on and on. He had a sketchbook that he carried with him everywhere. Inside were thousands of sketches of flowers he had found. Some he even kept dried and neatly pressed inside the sketchbook.

“You’re weird for a boy.” The little girl teases, nudging him with her shoulder.

Chan smiles at his best friend. “You don’t have to come with me you know. I know everyone thinks I’m weird. I won’t be sad if you think the same.”

The little girl looked at him. Her eyes holding some sadness and hurt at his suggestion. “I like going with you, Yuchan.” The little girl answered truthfully, masking Chans eyes widen in surprise.

“Besides,” she adds. “You’re nicer to me than the other boys. Donghun pulls my ponytail all the time.” She rubbed her head as if she could feel his hand tugging at her hair. Making her head sore.

Chan lets out a giggle. “That’s just his way of saying he likes you.” He reassures. His smile turning his eyes turn into crescents, making her smile back.

The little girl suddenly gasps in excitement, making Chan take a step back. “Maybe when we grow up we can open a shop together, Chanie!” She squeals. “Just for your flowers!”

Chan tilts his head to the side, her suggestion new to him. “I never thought about doing that.” He admits.

“I think you should do it.” She encourages. “And I’ll help you.”

That summer day on that gravel road with the warm air circling around the two children was a pivotal point in their young lives. They just didn’t realize how much of one it was.

“Yuchan!” I call into the small shop. The sweet scent of flowers greeting me as i enter. The smell making me feel like i was home.

A full head of blonde hair peaks behind a door to my right, a smile on his face. “Hi love.” Chan greets warmly.

I smile at my best friend. “Hey. Have you been busy today?”

Chan wipes his hands that were smeared with potting soil off on his apron as he says, “Not too bad. But i am ready for your help if that’s what you’re asking.” He says with a sly wink.

I laugh and set my bag down on a free chair by the door. “Can i go freshen up upstairs?”

Chan nods quickly as he turns his attention to a row of cactuses lining the store window. His eyes catching a certain gleam to them that they always did when he was working in his element.

I rush upstairs to the loft where Chan lived after store hours. The old building was one Chan had been saving up for since he was eight years old. The downstairs portion was his own flower shop, the upstairs was his apartment. A small loft with a large window overlooking the town and letting gentle rays of sunlight spark across the small space.

I smile happily. I loved this place. Chan bought it right out of high school. He let me have a job with him here once it became established. I worked part time throwing papers in the early mornings, and then in the afternoon i worked with Chan. Although many nights i ended up going upstairs with him to watch our favorite movies and play games with the guys.

I change my shirt from a long sleeve to a short sleeve. The spring air getting warmer everyday. I swoop my hair back into a ponytail before tying on my apron and heading downstairs to help Chan work and arrange flower decorations and take any orders we might have had.

My foot hits the last step when i feel a hard tug on my ponytail, making me screech in more annoyance than pain.

“Would you stop doing that, you brat!” I yell at Donghun. Who wears an evil smirk on his face as he stares down at me.

“Nope. I’ve done it since we were kids and I’m going to keep doing it.” He tells me with a sly wink. His dark puppy eyes shining.

I pinch his arm before shoving past him to go behind the checkout counter with Chan. Who greeted me with a warm smile as he handed me a freshly potted cactus to place behind the window for display.

I head to the large window but quickly stop when i see the man leaning over one of the cactuses, his hand hovering over the spikes that covered the succulent.

“Seyoon, what on earth do you think you’re doing? You’re going to hurt yourself.” I scold him, pushing him away from the cactus before he did damage to himself or said plant.

“I wanted to see how sharp it was.” Seyoon whines, his bottom lip pouting.

“I also dared him to touch it.” Donghun adds in.

“I had no say in it.” Jun chimes in. I hadn’t seen him come in earlier.

“But we did think it would be fun to see if he would actually do it.” Byeongkwan adds, who was standing next to Donghun.

“We just didn’t think he would actually do it.” Donghun chuckles as he shakes his head. A crooked grin lining his face.

An older woman with silver hair walks into the store about then. The doors bell ringing as she opens and closes the door.

“If you aren’t going to help us then leave you guys.” Chan hisses. “Before you destroy my shop.”

I give the boys pointed looks, agreeing with Chan. In the end Byeongkwan and Jun stayed to help us. While Seyoon and Donghun ran off somewhere else.

But before they left Donghun was sure to give my ponytail a final tug, making me kick his shin as he scurried out. Seyoon was thoughtful enough to hug me before they left. But he always did that.

Me and Chan worked together feverishly until the sun started dipping into the horizon. Its rays and warmth fading from the streets. Jun and Byeongkwan left, leaving me and Chan to balance the checkbook and clean up for the next day.

I sat at a bar stool carefully arranging a set of red roses for display when Chan came down the stairs from his loft. Two hot cups of coco in his hands as he made his way to me.

He sat on the stool beside me as we drank our coco in silence. Our legs tired from constantly walking all day long.

But my mind wouldn’t settle down. A nagging subject i had been delaying bringing up to Chan tying my stomach in tight knots.

I set the mug of hot chocolate down carefully before taking a deep breath. “Chan?”

“Yeah, love?” Chan answers me. Not really meeting my eyes as he picks dead leaves off a chrysanthemum.

“Mom and daddy want me to go to collage soon.” I tell him bluntly. This makes Chan stop and face me. His big brown eyes going sad. But he remains quiet and patiently waits for me to finish.

“They say i cant spend all my life with newspapers and flowers.” I choke out, trying not to cry. “Daddy wants me to go to med school this fall. He says he wants me to follow in his footsteps.”

My father was the top leading brain surgeon in the US. His name well known to many and his heroic acts publicized on many social media platforms. My mother ran a fashion business. I was never much into clothes. That much showed from my jeans with rips in them and a plain T-shirt. I only ever wore one sweatshirt. And it was one Chan gave me while we were in high school. I wore it nearly everyday. Which she hated. It was too repetitive. She had scolded many times.

“Is that what you want?” Chan asks quietly. His voice unbearably low.

“I don’t know.” I sigh, hiding my face in my hands. Tears threatening to fall down my cheeks. “I do like the world of medicine.” I admit.

Chan nods, “You were always really good at identifying certain herbs that would help with illnesses when we were younger. While I was just good at naming different types of flowers.”

I let out a soft chuckle and shake my head at the memory. “But I don’t know that’s what i want to do.” I tell him, meeting his eyes. “But just for once, i would like for my parents to be proud of me.”

Chan gives me a small smile before standing up from his chair and wrapping his arms around my shoulders, his chest pressing into my back as he rested his chin on top of my head.

“You should do whatever makes you happy, love.” Chan whispers. “You know i would miss you horribly if you decide to move away to a big collage. The shop wouldn’t be the same without you. But i also want you to know that I’m proud of you. Even if your parents aren’t. I’ll support whatever decision you decide to make.”

I feel my chest tighten and tears burn my eyes. My admiration for Chan swelling at hearing his kind words.

I place my hand over his arm as he continues to hold me tightly. “Thank you, Chanie. Really.”

“Anytime, love.” Chan whispers, squeezing me tightly. “And besides,” he adds, “We have all summer before we need to worry.”

````

The days got longer and warmer as time dragged on. The shop was always at its busiest time during the summer months. New types of flowers and plants were imported in to sell, drawing people to buy them. Sometimes even in mass quantity.

I tried to ignore the pressing issue of collage and possibly having to move away. The very thought making me sad immediately.

Chan worked almost nonstop during the summer months. He loved this time of year. His skin would become a dark shade of brown from standing outside the shop tending to the flowers that preferred being outside. His hair going blonde from all the sun it was receiving.

But the summer breeze brought a lot of change with it. One afternoon i sat at the counter deep in thought. A sinking feeling plaguing me.

Chan walked in from outside, a large cement pot in his arms. He set it down gently before taking in my dream state.

“Are you lost, love?” Chan asks with a chuckle. A smile tugging at his lips.

I smile and let out a sigh. “Do you realize i have never had a boyfriend before, Yuchan?” I blurt out.

Chan blinks at me, his eyes wide. “Umm...”

“I mean,” I continue, not noticing him tense. “I went through high school with no love life whatsoever. And now I’m faced with maybe going off to collage this fall and i have no idea what it feels like to kiss someone or even be in love.”

Chan hesitates, his jaw slack. “Maybe...maybe you just haven’t found the right person.” He stutters. Trying to keep the tightness out of his voice.

I give him a wistful look. “I know half the boys in this town, Chan. The right man is taking his sweet time coming my way.”

Chan shifts his weight nervously. “Maybe... you.. I mean. Maybe you should wait?” He says quietly. His voice so low i can barely hear him.

��What do you mean wait?” I ask.

“I mean just wait until you know if you’re going to collage or not before thinking about having a boyfriend.” He answers. His voice holding a certain clipped tone to it i had never heard before. His ears a bright red against his tan skin.

“Are you okay?” I decide to ask. Genuinely worried about him.

Chan stares at me. Holding my gaze for much longer than needed. Making my heart pick up its pace.

Chan picks up the cement pot against before grumbling, “Just forget it .” And storming off. Leaving me feeling confused and not any calmer.

````

Rain beats heavily against the shops windows. Thunder rumbling across the sky with lightening streaks occasionally lighting up the night sky.

I rush into the store, my hair and clothes soaking wet from the heavy rain. I see Chan cleaning up the shop, a mop in hand as he takes in my appearance with a smirk.

“Is it raining?” He asks sarcastically.

I give him a glare as i pull my wet hair off my neck, a shiver going down my spine.

“I came to see if you needed help bringing some of the flowers in. The storm is only supposed to get worse as the night goes on.”

“I’m okay, love.” Chan reassures. “I brought all the plants in earlier today. I’m sorry, i should have called and told you to stay inside.”

I shake my head, dismissing his apology. “I needed to get away from home anyway. You were my excuse.”

“Well then help me mop the floors and shine up this place.” Chan tells me as he hands me a dust rag.

I smile at him as i start cleaning. Both of us getting lost in easy conversation as the storm continues to rage outside. Rain attacking the windows as we work together.

Eventually, after a moments lapse in the conversation i decide to ask. “Chan, did i say something wrong the other day? When i said i wanted a boyfriend?”

Chan freezes, his shoulders going tight. “Umm.. n.. no”

He stutters. His ears going a bright shade of red.

I give him a quizzical look. Not believing him. “Chan, be honest with me. Please? Did i or did i not upset you the other day?”

Chan lets out a heavy sigh, running a calloused hand across the back of his neck. He slowly turns to face me as he admits, “I just... I don’t understand why you want a boyfriend so bad all of a sudden. There’s only two months of summer left and you decide to worry about how you’ve never been kissed before.”

“I want to know.” I say defensively. “If I’m going to be confined to studying for the next few years i want to experience things that other people have.”

“But... does it have to be with someone you hardly know? And why worry about it? It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Chan counters, trying to keep his voice calm.

“Because it means a lot to me. And i want to feel like I’m loved and appreciated by at least someone since i hardly get that from my parents.”

Chan stares at me wide eyed. He scoffs and rubs his eyes, a soft growl escaping his lips. “You just want to feel loved?” He repeats.

“Yeah.” I answer, my voice a little shaky.

“Then what have i been to you all these years?!” Chan shouts, making me jump.

Chan slowly closes the gap between us as he continues, “I have patiently listened to you, let you cry on my shoulder, let you work with me, shared meals with you, everything! What did you think that all meant?”

“Chan, calm down.” I say shakily. Taking a step back but my legs hit a table behind me, stopping me.

“No.” Chan snaps. “I’ve been patient for years. Never once interfering with your life. But all those times you stayed with me to watch movies and would fall asleep on my shoulder, all the times we would talk about how to make this place better, talk about our future, share secrets together, that all made me fall more in love with you.”

I feel my entire body freeze. I stare at Chan wide eyed, his eyes full of tears. Suddenly i feel stupid for never having seen it before.

Chan looks down at the ground, his hands going into fists beside him. “You talk of not knowing what to do with your life. About no one loving you and no one seeing you or caring what you think. But i have always cared, and I always will. But the only future I can see having is one with you in it.”

I feel tears sting my eyes from both joy and just feeling dumb for never having noticed my best friend in that way before. I quickly move forward and wrap my arms around his neck, encasing him in a tight embrace.

Chan freezes for a moment, his arms not going around my waist. His muscles tight as i hold him close to me.

“I should have known.” I tell him, my voice breaking. “I’m so stupid. You’re right. About everything.”

Chan takes my face in his hands, our faces inches apart. “You mean, you feel the same way?” He asks me in disbelief.

I let out a choked laugh, “Chanie, there is no one i would rather fall in love with more than you.”

Chans lips split into a huge smile before he closes the gap between us. The feel of his lips on mine making me tense slightly before relaxing and wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him close to me.

I smile into the kiss, getting lost in his touch and the way his lips taste and feel on mine. I feel my body go limp slightly when he runs his tongue across mine, his hands sliding up my back to pull me closer to him until there was no room between us.

I let out a gasp as he picks me up slightly to set me on the table behind me. One hand resting on my thigh as the other hand stays at the back of my neck, keeping me close to him.

His lips slide over mine softly, both of us just enjoying the feeling of being so close. I pull away from him slowly, resting my forehead against his as he breathes heavily against my lips.

“Does this mean you’ll stay?” Chan whispers, his voice raspy.

I smile and kiss his nose gently. “I’m staying with you.” I answer him, making him smile as he leans in to kiss my mouth again.

Eventually, i slide off the table. Chans face a bright red as we continue cleaning the rest of the shop before going upstairs to his loft. Where we end up talking half the night before i fall asleep on his chest while watching movies. Our limbs tangled together tightly as we bask in the warmth and feeling of security we brought each other. Our new relationship starting a new chapter for the both of us.

#a.c.e #ace chan x reader #ace chan #ace yuchan #a.c.e chan #a.c.e yuchan #a.c.e imagine #a.c.e fanfcition #ace #a.c.e x reader #ace fanfiction #fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #kpop #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #ace imagines #kpop fluff #kpopmadness writings

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arigatouiris · 5 years

Text

Catching Feelings — Connor [08]

Pairing: Deviant! Connor x Reader

Word Count: 2682

Warnings: EXPLICIT SEXUAL REFERENCES. SMUT. Swearing, mentions of period, sexual references, fluff, clumsy!reader, timid!reader (not for long), mentions of anxiety, inappropriate boss behavior (basically Gavin being Gavin)

Author’s Note: Characters actually have sex in this and it’s my first time writing smut so pls bear with meeeeeee. As much as I enjoy reading it, writing it is so so hard! Let me know what you think!

Also, those who want to be on the taglist, just send me an ask~

Summary: It is Connor’s first time.

Chapter Eight: Pleasure

○

When Connor woke up, he smelled something.

It was strange, normally he’d have control over the kind of smells he could smell but now they were all coming to him. The room smelled like floor cleaner, and there was the scent of jasmine air freshener in the air. He opened his eyes slowly, noticing water coming out of them. He instantly rubbed his eyes, groaning, before getting up.

His body felt warm, but when he ran vitals against himself, there were more features. There were hunger levels, body temperature, mental stability, and a few more. He looked around and saw a couple of androids before waiting.

“Is… Is it done?” Connor asked, not sure how to proceed.

“Yes, Connor. (y/n) is just outside. She’ll take you home now. Also, since it is Sunday, we’d suggest you not go to work tomorrow. It can take up to a day to adjust to the new settings that this upgrade offers. We have already briefed (y/n) regarding the situation and she will assist you with the upcoming changes.” The female android said, kindly.

Changes? Connor never intrinsically thought to himself so naturally. The thoughts were always there, one after another. It was fluidic. Almost a beautiful thing to experience. He wanted to see (y/n), he wanted to kiss her, he wanted to hold her hair and smell her, he wanted to—

Suddenly, his face warmed up, and his hand reached over and touched his cheek. Strange, he thought before feeling his ears warm as well. He suddenly felt the need to cover his face from anyone who could see him, he suddenly felt his thirium pump beat erratically. He associated this feeling with nervousness, but wondered why on earth he would feel nervous to see his own lover?

The door opened and in came (y/n), smiling at him. Connor’s eyes widened and he felt his chest constrict with a nice pain. Almost a flipping kind. (y/n) giggled at his bewildered expression and rushed over to give him a hug. She kissed his cheek before Connor grabbed her wrist and pulled her forward, pressing his lips to hers. (y/n)’s eyes widened as Connor led the kiss, pushing his tongue inside and his hands grabbing her cheek. He let out a low moan, before shutting his eyes and kissing her some more.

(y/n) pulled away a bit, clearly flustered, “Connor… Let’s head home first?”

“That…” He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t stop kissing her, he couldn’t stop thinking of kissing her. He felt like his entire body was on fire, starting from his lips to the tips of his fingers. “That was amazing, (y/n).”

She stared into his eyes, which were suddenly a bit more lifelike. She kissed the tip of his nose before chuckling. Reese had informed her that Connor would be a tad bit more alert with his senses, especially the stimulation that his new gonads would be bringing him. As much as she was nervous about having sex with an android, she wouldn’t lie—she found Connor incredibly attractive. She waited as Connor got dressed, careful not to stare at him since he now had new features. She noticed the bulge in his pants now—before turning away.

Her heart was beating erratically, and for some reason, she sensed nervousness from his end as well. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she knew Connor had to be nervous. It was going to be his first time, and she remembered her first time and her face lit up.

On reaching home, Connor smelled new smells. He could smell a different air freshener, a bit rosier than before, and the smell of fresh peppermint blended with wood. He walked around, wanting to touch things, feel things, all these stimulations were welcome and warm.

“Connor?”

“I really was missing out on so much…” His voice was a mere whisper, and (y/n) knew he didn’t even realize he was talking.

“Do you feel okay?”

“I think,” Connor took a second before turning and meeting her gaze, “I think what I’m feeling is joy. Unadulterated joy. I don’t have to scan for smells, because they come to me. I feel a bit nervous standing in front of you, your gaze is penetrating my very core—I do not know why I said that but I felt the need to—and I think I can be completely honest with you and not fear judgment—”

“Of course! I’ll never judge you.”

Connor smiled before taking a step closer to (y/n). He held her hands in his and stared at their hands, sighing after. He rubbed his thumb across the back of her palm before looking at her once more.

“You feel so soft,” He whispered, “Your fingers are smaller than mine.”

(y/n) took a step closer and noticed their height difference.

“You’re taller than me, too.” She said, grinning.

“You gave me a chance, and for that, I feel so grateful.”

“I love you, Connor.”

His eyes widened at her words. His grip tightened on her hand and he embraced her instantly, not wanting her to see his facial reaction. He had never imagined that being told ‘I love you’ by someone you loved could cause such a reaction—he felt like he had nothing more to accomplish in his life because he had it all in the tips of his fingers.

He shut his eyes and smelled her hair before feeling that strange warmth again. His hands wound themselves around her form, pulling her into him, crushing her into him. She giggled before she felt his hand slide down her back, placing itself on the small of her back, and the other hand wound itself around her shoulder blades, cradling her. Connor’s nose found itself at the crook of her neck, smelling her, never having felt this close to her before.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

(y/n) sighed before pulling away, placing a hand on his cheek.

“Not at all. Connor,” She almost got lost in his eyes, “How are you feeling right now?”

He didn’t waste any time in answering, “I want to kiss you so bad.”

○

He knew what sex was.

An android was aware of how human beings procreated; a biological process that maintained progeny. He also knew that human beings indulged in sex because it felt very good. However, he didn’t know the ‘feeling good’ part.

(y/n) was laying on top of him right then, clothes intact, and kissing him. Connor kissed her back, but there was something utterly fascinating with her being on top of him—he enjoyed every second. He felt breathless, something he hadn’t felt before, and he felt light-headed. He constantly felt like he was about to faint, but he knew he wasn’t going to. (y/n) continued kissing across his jaw and then reached his neck, giving him small bites, which radiated some sort of electric feeling all over him.

“Are you…” She was breathless as well, “Do you feel good?”

“So good.” Connor whispered, his eyes were unable to open.

Their lips crashed into each other and all they could feel was the hammering of their hearts. (y/n) couldn’t stop admiring the feel of his skin against hers, now with the upgrade, Connor’s body heat was a bit more than usual. Connor, on the other hand, wondered if this was what ‘intoxicated’ felt like—every nip and kiss was sending him to another place beyond the one he was on. His hand fell by her waist, steadying her as she straddled him, and suddenly, her hands cupped his face and her tongue was brushing against his lips, jaw, cheek in random yet quick seconds. He responded the same way, kissing (y/n) with every bit of energy he had, and far more intensely with each growing second.

And there was one thing he couldn’t stop doing—pulling her closer, closer, closer and closer.

Suddenly, Connor raised his head, pulled (y/n) down and sucked on her neck, heaving a moan out of her. He paused for a second before looking at her, (y/n) assuring him that everything was more than good. Her hands reached down and caught the edge of his shirt, pulling it off in one quick move. Connor’s hand reached the small of her back, with her still on top of him, and slid his hand under her shirt. All this while, he didn’t stop kissing (y/n), touching her, gasping at her every breath, his other hand playing with her thigh, going upwards and upwards, and feeling her gasps intensify as his hand reached closer and closer to—

Just as his fingers touched her center, she gasped unlike ever before, causing a wild rush to come over him. He pressed his thumb at her core, before noticing how she flinched and started to rub small circles around her. His finger then focused on making concentrated circles on her pussy, causing her to vibrate while she was on top of him.

“Does this feel good?” Connor asked, knowing the answer.

She couldn’t answer, she was heaving, breathing heavily, gasping for air. In one instant, Connor pushed her down, got on top of her and his hands went to her pants. She didn’t waste time, either. Pulling down her pants, she revealed her soaked underpants, and he found those strangely alluring. Connor lifted her shirt and pulled it off completely, allowing himself to take in her semi-naked appearance. His hands then slowly moved to her breasts before slipping his hand under her bra. When (y/n) let out a sigh, he felt like he could literally do anything with his hands. The anticipation drove him crazy, but there was something about taking his time that made it all the more enjoyable.

He let out a breath before removing her bra, his eyes exploring every inch of her bare chest. He bent down and nipped at her nipples, touching them softly, sucking on them lightly, and then experimenting with softer bites.

Suddenly, a thought popped into (y/n)’s head, how this was literally the first time Connor had done anything remotely sexual. As she was below him, her hands roamed his chest, pausing his movements, causing him to look at her curiously. Her hands moved down from his chest to his pants and then touched his bulge before causing him to hiss. She looked up at him with eager eyes, before forcing him to get up and remove his pants.

“Let me do this.” She whispered, still leaving him unsure of what she wanted to do.

(y/n) pushed him on the bed before kissing him once more, Connor was now naked—his penis erect and rock hard, almost as if he was born with one. When (y/n) touched him, however, Connor raised his head and let out a guttural moan, closing his eyes.

“(y/n)... That…”

Oh, she knew.

Smirking, she pumped him up and down, feeling his hardened penis fresh in her fingertips. She knew he liked it, there was no need to ask—especially with him moaning like he was seeing stars. Everything was new, everything was a novel experience for Connor and she wanted him to have the best first time he could ever have.

(y/n) wrapped her fingers around his member before pumping her hand up and down, looking at her lover in the eye. Connor struggled to maintain eye contact, and the bits when he couldn’t, he could feel her gaze penetrate into him. There was no possible way anything could beat this feeling, this was it—the pinnacle of great sensation. He was clenching his fists now, shutting his eyes, he felt like he was going into water. (y/n) pumped him a few more times before she bent down and licked the tip of his member once. He froze, and a couple of moans exited his lips, before feeling his clenched fists tighten their grip on the bedsheet. (y/n) licked his member and let her tongue go around his length, bobbing her head up and down, and went ahead to take his entire length into her mouth in one go.

“(y/n)... Oh…”

Instinctively, his hand reached up and grabbed her head, before his moans structured themselves into deep breaths. (y/n) was moving on her own now, bobbing up and down, up and down, knowing what control she had over her lover right then. Connor’s member was throbbing in her mouth, her tongue still swirling around his length.

“(y/n)... I… I need a break…”

(y/n) instantly let go and looked up at Connor’s bright face, his face was red (unlike the blue she thought) and his eyes were closed. He was breathing heavily, and his mind was blank.

“How did you feel?”

“I… I don’t think I’ve ever felt that good in my life.”

“Wow, what a moral upliftment.” (y/n) giggled before laying down beside him.

“I think I’m falling for you more now that I’ve got the upgrade.”

“It’s because you’re feeling these new things.”

“Perhaps.”

There was something he wanted to try. He turned to spot (y/n) beside him and his gaze fell on her underwear. She wasn’t wearing a bra thanks to him, but he was more curious about the heat radiating from down below. He quickly pushed the fabric aside and slipped his fingers inside her clit. (y/n) gasped before spreading her legs a bit, encouraging him to finger her more. It felt incredible, it was as if his fingers were made specifically for her, and her body felt like it was on fire. Connor didn’t pause before letting his finger enter her, enjoying the sound of her moans and gasps. Before beginning to pump in, he pulled out and pushed in another finger, quickening the pace.

Her hands flew to her side, clutching the fabric of her sheets, while Connor simply enjoyed himself.

“Connor… I…” She let out, “I need you.”

He stopped for a second before (y/n) did the rest. He was wide-eyed, as she removed her underwear and lay down. (y/n) helped Connor position himself above her, helping him lead his penis to her entrance. While Connor pushed himself inside, he felt like he was heading elsewhere—his eyes closed instantly and he felt warm, the kind of warmth that he hadn’t ever felt before. (y/n)’s hands wound themselves around his back, pulling him to her, feeling that fuzzy sensation in her stomach.

“Connor…” She gasped, before feeling him move.

He moved up and down, quickening his pace, relaxing into it, sweating, breathing, heaving, moaning, gasping—he felt like he was one with her and that was perhaps the best feeling he had ever felt in his life. You started to move a bit, however, his hands pinned her down and he kept at it. Connor’s pace was driving her crazy, and (y/n) wasn’t sure if it was because he was an android or because she loved him or both. Connor’s right hand grabbed her breast before playing with it, as he kept pushing into her.

“I’m going to…” (y/n) gasped, before letting out a louder moan, “I’m going to come.”

Connor felt like he was catching on fire. He wasn’t sure what this sensation was, but his body was begging for him not to stop.

“I feel like…”

“Shh, Connor… Just keep going… Don’t stop.”

Connor listened and followed. He kept his pace up, and a second later, she exploded—gasping out his name, shaking and feeling blinded by pleasure. Connor couldn’t stop despite how she came undone, he was close but he didn’t know for what, he was warmer and getting warmer by the second—

He held (y/n) tightly as he felt like he exploded. He was shivering, breathing heavily as if he had run a marathon (which would still not tire him out), and everything felt new. He couldn’t catch his breath, but the feeling was brilliant. He lay beside her, holding her, breathing heavily with her.

“So you’re not a virgin anymore.” (y/n) giggled.

There was no space for thought. He couldn’t think, except for how his orgasm felt and how she was responsible for giving it to him.

“I love you so much.” Connor said, unable to look at anything but her.

○

series taglist:

@ggukachuu @rainbowsithlord @pan-puff-pride @tanya-diggory @toocoldoutsideforyou @margaret-mortem @ohhhhhhsweetfandomofmine @pandacookieowo @maajikcrossing @inthemarveldumpster @iwannabemorethanme @creation-magician @icetealemonade @saphirepearl @ninjarose23 @shaydeevee33 @spideyboipete @panic-at-space-camp @music0child

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

You Know You Love Me, Chapter 2 (Branjie) - Kiki

A/N: Wow I can’t believe I’m updating this in less than a week since I posted the first chapter, there’s a first time for everything lol. Thank you so much for the feedback on chapter 1, I really appreciate every like and comment so much. Hope you enjoy!

Summary: Brooke Lynn Hytes returns to New York City after being shipped off to boarding school and her ex best friend, Vanessa Mateo, isn’t too happy about it… which would be bad enough, but add in the fact that they’re lowkey in love with each other. (Gossip Girl AU)

Rise and shine, Upper East Siders! It’s officially Fall, which means that all of us get to go back to school for yet another scandalous year. Will today be the day we see Brooke Lynn Hytes return to being the socialite she once was, or will she be shipped off yet again? Only time, and the tips you send in, will tell. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Vanessa’s alarm clock – also known as Dorota – woke her at precisely seven o’clock. She removed her pink silk eye mask and immediately went to hop into the already prepared bubble bath, allowing her body to fully submerge into the bathtub as she mentally prepared herself for the day ahead. The first day of her senior year.

After she stepped out of the bath and slipped into her fluffy robe, she headed to the bathroom to start her morning skincare routine. Some people may say it’s time consuming, but not Vanessa. Her mother has drilled the importance of youthful looking skin into her brain from a very young age. Vanessa didn’t know any other seventeen-year olds who used two different anti-aging serums on a daily basis but she had promised herself that she was not going to get surprised with any wrinkles or frown lines…not before she could make her first Botox appointment.

She returned to her bedroom to find her school “uniform” laid out on the bed in front of her. Once she had her short black skirt, black stockings, white blouse and school blazer on, she slid her black heels onto her feet and walked over to her vanity where she stored her accessories. This is where she added the finishing touches to her outfits. On this particular day, she chose one of her signature headbands (a red one) and placed it delicately onto her hair that was curled to perfection.

After she finished applying some makeup, along with her signature red lipstick, she headed downstairs to the dining table where her family’s chef had prepared a variety of different breakfast options for Vanessa and her mother to choose from – a selection of pastries, fresh fruit and yoghurt. She picked up a chocolate and hazelnut croissant from the tray and paired it with a selection of different berries while Dorota poured her some green tea.

Alexis Mateo – Vanessa’s mother – entered the room hurriedly and frowned as soon as she saw what was on Vanessa’s plate.

“You’re eating carbs this early in the morning, darling, that’s…brave.” Mrs Mateo said as she fixed her hair in the mirror, not paying attention to her daughter who rolled her eyes at her mother’s comment and took a big bite out of the croissant as if she had a point to prove.

“I just hope you know that your metabolism won’t stay like this forever. One day all of these treats you allow yourself to have are gonna come back and haunt you,” This comment earned another eyeroll from Vanessa as she took a deep breath in and tried as hard as she could to force her frown into a smile. “Oh, also, I won’t be coming home tonight. There’s been some kind of disaster in the Paris office that everyone else is apparently unqualified to handle which means I have to go and solve every single problem, yet again.” She said with an exasperated sigh.

“But you just got back from Europe, you said we could go to dinner tonight to celebrate my last ever first day of school!” Vanessa replied with a pout on her face.

“Well Vanessa, that’s the joy of owning your own company. You can’t just expect me to stop working every time you want to go out for dinner. Sometimes work is a more important priority than a meal we can have at any time…isn’t Brooke Lynn back from boarding school? Take my card and bring her instead, you can celebrate together.”

Vanessa immediately rolled her eyes again at the mention of Brooke’s name. She really wasn’t looking forward to seeing her again. She tried to convince herself that she wasn’t nervous but deep down she had a few butterflies floating around in her stomach that she really wanted to murder.

Her mother left shortly after breakfast, muttered a quick goodbye to Vanessa and ate only a handful of grapes before she screamed at some staff members to come and carry her bags down to the car.

Vanessa continued to sit at the dining table for a bit longer and tried her best to hide the fact that she was upset with her mother for leaving her alone yet again. Sure, she had Dorota, but ever since her father moved to France about nine months ago, she had been feeling overwhelmingly lonely. Not to mention, her mother had started to work longer hours to keep herself occupied when she was finalising the divorce from Vanessa’s father.

The pout on her face slowly started to disappear as Vanessa focused on the positives of the day she was about to have: she was going to walk into school with Akeria and Silky by her side, ready to retake her throne as the most powerful girl in school and there was nothing Brooke Lynn Hytes could do to take that away from her.

Feeling a lot more empowered, she hopped up off of her chair and grabbed her purse and strutted towards the elevator. She found her family’s black limo with the driver ready and waiting to take her to school and as she stepped inside, the familiar smell of leather and the pine air freshener that was dangling from the mirror made her feel at ease.

—

The first half of Vanessa’s school day had been pretty uneventful so far. She had met up with her girls before school, yelled a sophomore for wearing last season’s shoes and gotten an A on her summer English literature assignment. She also hadn’t run into Brooke yet, which in her mind made it an all the more successful day.

At lunchtime, Vanessa, Silky and Akeria were sat at their regular lunch spot – the steps of the MET. Plastique Tiara, a freshman girl from Brooklyn had been helping Vanessa out by making the invitations for the party ever since Vanessa had noticed how good her calligraphy was and had bribed her with an invite to the party in return for her work.

Plastique nervously handed over the stack of envelopes and Vanessa took them, ready to thoroughly inspect them before she gave her the seal of approval.

“Oh my God, Plastique, they’re so cute!” Akeria exclaimed as she took her invite from the pile and smiled widely at Plastique.

Vanessa and Silky nodded their heads in agreement and Vanessa picked up the invite from the bottom of the pile and handed it back to Plastique.

“Your invitation, as promised!” Vanessa fought the urge to roll her eyes at how excited the younger girl had gotten just from the invitation. Her face changed entirely as she saw a tall blonde figure casually approaching them with a frozen yoghurt in her hands.

“Hey, here you guys are! I looked all over the dining hall for you.”

Vanessa had pictured her reunion with Brooke many times. But this? The blonde just walking up like absolutely no time had passed? Definitely not what she had in mind.

The other girls were all noticeably shocked too. Others, such as Plastique, looked starstruck. Vanessa, however, looked absolutely fuming.

“Hi, I’m Brooke Lynn.” She stretched her hand out to shake Plastique’s hand, which the younger girl accepted immediately.

“I know. I mean, uh, I’ve seen you around and—” she stopped rambling as Brooke bended down to pick up one of the invitations that were sitting in Vanessa’s lap. Vanessa found herself trying to suppress an eyeroll for the second time in the last five minutes, and only half succeeded this time.

“So, when’s the party?” Brooke looked directly at Vanessa when she spoke, as if there were no one else there. Silky, Akeria and Plastique were looking at Vanessa with anxious faces, waiting for her to answer, whereas Vanessa had turned on her signature bitch face and threw on one of her passive aggressive smiles for good measure.

“Saturday…and…you’re kinda not invited, since until twelve hours ago everyone thought you were at boarding school and now we’re full, and Plastique used up all the invites.” Brooke raised her eyebrows slightly and Vanessa shrugged her shoulders with not a single care given.

“Um, actually—” Plastique started to speak, Vanessa knowing full well that it would be easy to get Brooke an invite if she wanted to. But Vanessa managed to get her to shut up with just a single raise of her eyebrow, the look instilling fear in the younger girl and making her stay silent.

“You can go now.” She said to Plastique who slowly started to pack up her things, still not wanting to miss the battle that was undoubtedly about to happen. However, all that happened was a classic B and V stare-down accompanied by a deafening silence.

Vanessa was looking at Brooke Lynn with her protective shield – her bitch face – up, but underneath the surface she was trying her hardest not to break. She should’ve known that seeing the girl she’s been in love with for more than a year for the first time in a long time would’ve had some kind of emotional impact on her. Everything had an emotional impact on her. She cries at every romantic movie eve made and feels so much love for all of the important people in her life. Why did she think that this would be any different? Why did she allow herself to believe that she hated Brooke, when in reality, all she had to do was say three simple words to her and Vanessa would do anything she asked. But she couldn’t let that show to anyone…especially not Brooke Lynn.

“Sorry…” Vanessa apologised half-heartedly, trying to sound at least somewhat sincere.

“No, it’s okay…I got a lot of stuff to do anyway.”

Vanessa started to pack her lunch up which meant that all the other girls immediately started to copy her and pack their lunch up too.

“Well…we should get going then. Unless you want us to wait for you?” Vanessa stood up and predictably, the girls copied. “Looks like you got a lot of yoghurt left.”

Brooke was not an idiot, she could tell that Vanessa had no intention of waiting around for her, especially since she was already standing up and slowly moving away from her.

“No, go ahead.” Vanessa responded by just rolling her eyes and walking away, Silky and Akeria on either side of her but still slightly behind. That was when Brooke Lynn decided to make a daring move.

“Vanessa? Think we can meet up tonight?” she asked innocently, causing the three girls to quickly turn back around. Brooke would pay someone to photograph Vanessa’s face at that exact moment – shocked, confused and feeling out of control. She crossed her fingers that someone had their cell phone out and she could relive it later on Gossip Girl.

“I’d love to…but I’m doing something with Nate tonight.”

It technically wasn’t a lie. Nate was a cute boy that had been trying to date Vanessa for a while now and while she had turned him down repeatedly, he had kept coming back and asking over and over again. He hadn’t exactly asked her out on that specific day but she was sure she could just bat her eyes at him a couple times after school and he’d ask her out immediately…and she would actually say yes this time.

“The Palace. Eight o’clock. Nate will wait.”

Vanessa stood there stunned. How dare Brooke Lynn just waltz back into their friend group and try to call all the shots like she was in charge? Vanessa would be feisty and snap back if she could remember how to function.

“I could probably do a half hour…” Vanessa responded quietly, readjusting her headband as if it were a crown on her head.

“Thanks for making the time.” Brooke Lynn said sarcastically, clearly letting Vanessa know she was enjoying the control she had over the other girl.

“You’re my best friend.” Vanessa replied with the fakest smile she could possibly create in that moment. Not saying anything else, she flipped her hair over her shoulder and strutted ahead of Silky and Akeria, storming off to their next class.

—

Spotted on the steps of the MET: a power-struggle between B and V. Did B really think she could waltz home and things would be just like they were? Did V think B would go down without a fight? Or can these two hotties work it out? There’s nothing Gossip Girl likes more than a good catfight, and this could be a classic.

—

2 years ago:

The two girls were sat on the large grey couch in the Hytes’ penthouse trying to study for their Latin exam the next day. Brooke was sitting on the couch looking at her phone without a care in the world whereas Vanessa was sitting on the floor, hunched over the coffee table with her head in her hands, mumbling to herself.

She had all of her study materials spread across the table in front of her. This included four binders, colour coded of course, three decks of flashcards and two textbooks. Not to mention the abundance of pastel highlighters that seemed to have made their way onto every bit of paper that Vanessa owned.

When Vanessa had suggested they should study together, Brooke Lynn didn’t actually think she was serious. So when Vanessa showed up with Dorota following behind her, carrying her massive bag of supplies, she was a bit disappointed. She thought they would at least get to talk or cuddle on the couch together but clearly, Vanessa had other plans.

“Why do we have to study Latin anyway? It’s a dead language for a reason.” Vanessa grumbled as she leaned her head on the table as if it were a pillow.

“Because you decided it would look good on college applications and signed us both up for it, that’s why.” Brooke reminded her which earned her an eyeroll in response. Brooke patted the empty space beside her on the couch, signalling for Vanessa to join her. Vanessa ignored her by opening one of the textbooks in front of her and reached for one of her pink highlighters.

“Hey, no—” Brooke grabbed the highlighter out of her hand and closed the textbook. Before Vanessa even had a chance to complain, Brooke used all her strength to grab the smaller girl and pull her onto the couch beside her. She took the blanket that was folded over the back of the couch and placed it gently in Vanessa’s lap.

“I think it’s time for you to stop studying now…we all know you could get an A on this test without even trying.”

“That makes one of us…” Vanessa replied playfully with a small smile on her face. Brooke replied by shoving her in the side which got a laugh out of Vanessa. Brooke smiled as that was all she wanted to do in that moment – make Vanessa forget about all of the things that caused stress in her life and focus on making her happy.

Vanessa rested her head on Brooke’s shoulder which somehow lead to Brooke wrapping her arm around Vanessa’s body and locking their hands together. Vanessa released a deep breath that she didn’t realise she was holding in and relaxed into Brooke’s touch, slowly closing her eyes and allowing herself to feel completely at ease.

This wasn’t something that should worry her and make her overthink. Friends cuddle all the time, right? A small frown came on her face as she tried to picture herself cuddling with Silky or Akeria like this. She wouldn’t enjoy it as much. Now, after that realisation, she had a reason to worry.

“I can feel you overthinking from here.”

“I’m not…” Vanessa lied with ease. If she could try and make Brooke believe it, then maybe she could make herself believe it.

“If you really wanna study some more I won’t stop you again, I just figured you probably knew it all by now…” Brooke said quietly, afraid that she had upset Vanessa and caused her to stress more.

“No, you were right, I am gonna ace this test. Now I just wanna spend time with you,” Vanessa replied softly. Brooke smiled and couldn’t stop the feeling of butterflies in her stomach from overtaking her. The fact that Vanessa could control her emotions with such a simple sentence like that was worrying. “Plus, you are really comfy, I have to admit.”

“I’ll be your pillow anytime you want, V.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I don’t like when you’re stressed or sad…if I can help stop that, then I will.”

Vanessa smiled and sat up slowly to look at Brooke Lynn properly. All she wanted to do was lean in and kiss her. Sure, they had kissed before but it had never really meant anything. It was always a drunken thing or part of a truth or dare game at one of Vanessa’s famous sleepovers. But the thought of kissing Brooke properly was consuming Vanessa’s mind more than any exam stress ever could.

Thankfully, Brooke was thinking about doing the exact same thing. Her eyes broke contact with Vanessa’s to look at her lips before returning to her eyes. Her hands seemed to have a mind of their own in that moment as they cupped Vanessa’s face, her thumb stroking her cheek gently.

“Can I?” Brooke whispered extremely quietly, so quietly that Vanessa wouldn’t have heard her if Brooke wasn’t already so close to her face. Vanessa nodded slowly, not able to get any words out as excitement and nerves took over her body.

Brooke Lynn closed the tiny gap between the two of them and pressed her lips to Vanessa’s. Just a small peck to test it out. But Vanessa decided that she wanted more and leaned back in immediately and before either of them knew it, they were having a full-blown make out session on Brooke’s family’s couch.

Unfortunately, they were interrupted by Brooke Lynn’s mom returning home not long after. They went to Brooke’s bedroom to get some sleep – but not before Vanessa stole a couple of more kisses. They didn’t do anything other than make out that night but needless to say, they didn’t get as much sleep as they should have the night before a big test.

Unsurprisingly, Vanessa still got an A.

—

Now:

Vanessa looked at the rose gold watch on her wrist for what felt like the millionth time. It was almost eight thirty, half an hour after the time Brooke had said to meet up at. She felt like an idiot. Meeting up to talk had been Brooke’s idea in the first place and of course Vanessa jumped at the chance of spending some alone time with her, but Brooke hadn’t even bothered to show up. Not even a text to let Vanessa know that she was going to be late.

Needless to say, Vanessa was pissed.

Every single time that Brooke had ever done something wrong in their ten years of friendship was playing in Vanessa’s head like a movie clip on repeat. Like that time when Brooke’s parents had gotten her the diamond earrings that Vanessa wanted for Christmas and didn’t even offer to share them. Or when Brooke had let Vanessa’s arch enemy, Scarlet Envy, play with her new Barbie doll before she had even shown it to Vanessa when they were eight.

Vanessa’s hand was clutching her martini glass so hard that if she tried just a tiny bit harder, she could probably break it. Thankfully at that exact moment, Brooke Lynn strolled into the bar, her long blonde hair braided to the side in a messy fishtail braid. She sat down beside Vanessa who was giving her quite possibly the angriest look that Brooke Lynn had ever seen in her life.

“Hey…sorry I’m late…” Brooke said cautiously. Vanessa’s only form of reply was her narrowing her eyes even more. “Are you okay?”

“Do I look okay to you?”

“You look great, but, um…maybe a bit angry?” Brooke tried to lighten the mood a bit by complimenting her, which would usually work perfectly, but not this time. “Are you angry at me?”

“That’s the dumbest fucking question you’ve ever asked me.”

“What did I do? I’m sorry I’m late, I just haven’t unpacked yet and I couldn’t find the right outfit and –” Vanessa could feel herself about to burst with anger and didn’t let Brooke finish her sentence.

“Not about that, you idiot! You left me…you didn’t even say goodbye, you just fucking left. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was when people would ask me where you went and I had no idea? It was humiliating.” Vanessa replied, her voice broke slightly as she got emotional but hoped that Brooke didn’t notice.

“V, I’m sorry but it was all so last minute and…” Brooke replied, her voice quiet and full of so much shame that she couldn’t complete her sentence.

“Did you even think about telling me or were you just too excited to leave and go make new friends? Am I really so low on your list of priorities that you couldn’t even send me a text? Not even a “Hey V, I’m leaving, see you next year”? I had to find out from your mom, B. That’s not okay.”

“Vanessa, you have to believe me, it wasn’t my fault!” Brooke tried to reason with her but Vanessa was having none of it.

“Nothing is ever your fault, B, that’s the problem! You just do whatever you want and don’t think of the consequences or the fact that what you’re doing actually hurts other people sometimes.” Vanessa’s voice started to get louder and full of anger as she spoke, a year’s worth of repressed emotions finally coming to the surface.

“Are you seriously doing this right now?” Brooke fought back with equal amounts of anger, not one to sit back and take being yelled at.

“Doing what? Telling you the truth? I know you haven’t been here for a year and I’m sure that you’ve had everyone kissing your ass since you got back but that’s not gonna happen with me. You don’t get to leave me and then just walk back into my life like nothing happened.”

“Don’t act like your innocent, V. You could’ve called. My mom gave you the number for my school when she told you where I was and you didn’t call once.” Brooke Lynn tried as hard as she could to keep any hurt from her voice, wanting to only show anger.

“You left me. Are you not getting that? You left. I was here. Waiting for you,” Vanessa’s anger seemed to leave her body all at once and the only thing she could feel was pain. It was like she just found out that Brooke had left all over again. The feeling of rejection and of not feeling good enough crept back into her body, not caring how hard she had fought over the past year to get rid of it. “You clearly didn’t feel the same way that I did back then. I really thought you did but you didn’t…and you still don’t.”

Vanessa grabbed her purse and practically sprinted past Brooke and out of the door of the hotel bar as fast as she could, leaving Brooke frozen to her chair.

She felt awful. She didn’t realise that Vanessa had been so affected by her leaving. She also didn’t think that Vanessa had felt the same way about her as she did about Vanessa. Just yesterday, the idea of Vanessa having even the tiniest amount of feelings for Brooke would’ve made her burst with excitement, but now all she felt was guilt.

She grabbed the rest of Vanessa’s drink and downed it quickly as she tried to think about how she could fix everything and make it all okay. She ordered another two drinks after she came to the conclusion that she probably couldn’t.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #lesbian au #high school au #gossip girl au #rich girl au #you know you love me #kiki #submission

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ghstandpucks · 4 years

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Misguided Ghost Ch.5

A.N.: Thanks for the support everyone! Let me know if you are enjoying the story :)

Doin’ Time

The whole table was laughing at a story Billy was telling. We had been at the bar for about 4 hours now, just sharing stories and hanging out. It was nice to feel like I had made some friends. I was nursing my third beer, trying not to show how much I was actually feeling it. “So Y/N, how are you feeling about being apart of the crew?” Billy asked.

“Good!” I said a little too quickly, causing the table to snicker. Zak reached over and grabbed my beer. I looked at him shocked and took it back. “Excuse you, I am fine!” Zak chuckled as I turned back to Billy and the group. “I mean, I’ve only been around for like two days, but beside this one,” I motioned to Zak with my thumb, “the guys have been nice and welcoming and I’m loving looking at all the history of the places you guys are considering investigating,” I finished with a smile. They were all either nodding or laughing at what I said, even Zak.

“We are happy to have you Y/N. And with that being said, I think it’s time to head home,” Nick said while Veronique grabbed her purse. Everyone decided it was time to head out and home, considering it was almost midnight. I walked with Aaron and Zak toward the front.

“You didn’t drive, did you Y/N?” Aaron asked. I shook my head no.

“I can take you home. I’m already driving Aaron,” Zak offered.

“It’s ok. I can call an uber. I don’t want to make you go out of your way,” I replied, taking my phone out of my purse and opening the uber app.

“No, seriously it’s fine. I don’t mind,” Zak insisted. I looked up at him and he gave me a soft smile. I nodded my head and smiled back, thanking him.

“Let’s go little one,” Aaron wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we followed Zak to his Jeep. I giggled and wrapped my arm around his waist. I insisted that I sat in the back since I was smaller, although Aaron offered the front to me. Once we were in and settled, I gave Zak my address and he started to drive. As we were driving, Lana Del Rey’s remake of Doin’ Time came on the radio, and being that I was in a tipsy state of mind, I decided to sing out loud. Now I am in no way a singer, but I didn’t think I sounded that bad, until Zak turned the radio station.

“Hey, turn it back!” I yelled from the back seat as Aaron was getting his phone out and laughing. Zak chuckled and turned the station back on. I realized at this point Aaron was recording and sang louder, looking directly at his phone. “Evil, I've come to tell you that she's evil, most definitely. Evil, ornery, scandalous and evil, most definitely.” I was dancing in my seat. Aaron turned his phone back to himself.

“I’m pretty sure she is the farthest thing from evil,” he chuckled, making Zak laugh too. I was having too much fun with the song that once it was over, I saw a notification from Instagram on my phone. Aaron had tagged me in his story.

“Wait Aaron you didn’t!” I screeched, opening it and watching myself sing off key and wiggle around in the seat.

“Oh I did!” He replied proudly. Zak laughed and I made a mental note to actually watch how much I drank next time. I wasn’t drunk, but definitely had the liquid courage to make an idiot out of myself. I hid my face in my hands, laughing and muttering ‘oh my God, what have I done!’

“Don’t worry Y/N, it was cute,” Zak winked through the mirror at me. I saw Aaron raise an eyebrow at him, and then turn back to me.

“We’ll do an Aaron’s vlog soon and I’ll introduce you as a team member,” he said, as I noticed we turned into my complex.

“Ok, sounds good,” I was still blushing at Zak’s comment. We pulled up to my apartment and I hopped out of the car. “Thank you Zak, I appreciate the ride! Have a good night you guys!” I shut the door as they said good night as well, Zak waiting for me to actually get into my place before taking off. I thought it was sweet that he wanted to make sure I was safe. I jumped in the shower and drank a glass of water, feeling the buzz slowly leave me. I crawled under my covers in bed and fell asleep, looking forward to seeing the guys on Monday and hoping that Zak meant what he said about calling it truce.

~ ~ ~

Monday morning came quicker than expected. I spent the rest of my weekend putting the final touches on my apartment and going grocery shopping. I even went to a yoga class on Sunday, signing up for a membership at the studio. Aaron had sent me a text with screen shots of messages from the insta-story post. A lot of speculation on who I was and if I was dating either of them. That made me laugh.

Today was a little chilly in Vegas, so I opted for wearing a purple dress with grey tights and a cream cardigan. Threw on my brown boots and took off to work. I went to my office and started up my laptop when Aaron burst in. “Aaron’s vlog! To answer all your questions about who that girl was in my insta-story on Friday, it was our new GAC historian, Y/N!” he said then turned his phone toward me. I sat there shocked for a second, then giggled and waved. ‘Say something’ Aaron mouthed.

“Sorry for my terrible singing guys! Hopefully my research makes up for it!” I gave a thumbs up and Aaron stopped recording.

“Your singing wasn’t terrible,” he stated. I rolled my eyes.

“You don’t have to be nice,” I smiled at him.

“Well someone enjoyed it,” he wiggled his eyebrows. I immediately looked at Zak’s office. Thankfully he was on the phone and not paying attention. Looking back at Aaron I blushed at his grin.

“Go away,” I shooed him out of my office as he let out a chuckle. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful for the most part. I was working on a site with a particularly gruesome past when Zak walked into my office, face in his phone. He sat down in the chair in front of my desk as I stared at him expectantly. “Can I help you?” I asked.

“No,” he muttered, still texting. I decided to ignore him and go back to my work. A few seconds later he spoke up. “This office feels calmer than it did before you got here.” I looked up at him to find him staring at me, brows scrunched up.

“Spearmint and eucalyptus air freshener,” I pointed toward the wall outlet where my diffuser was. I love Aromatherapy from Bath and Body Works. Zak nodded and started looking around my space from his chair. “Is everything alight?” I asked him after about five more minutes of us sitting in silence. Zak smiled softly at me.

“Sorry, am I bothering you?”

“No. I just don’t know why you’re in here,” I smiled back.

“I was coming to tell you about our travel arrangements for our investigation this week. I was just getting the last details when I came in,” he said. I nodded, urging him to continue. “Your office just has a calming vibe. Sorry I spaced out.”

“It’s fine. So what’s up with the travel plans?” I asked. Zak let me know that we would be driving to Utah, where we were going was only about 4 hours away. They would pick me up from my house at 9am on Wednesday, Thursday we would have our walk through and conduct interviews, and then the lockdown was set for Friday. We would come back Sunday seeing as they would probably be drained to drive back Saturday.

“Sounds great! I’m excited!” I clapped my hands together, making Zak grin at me.

“Hopefully you’re still saying that when you’re being locked in with us.” I rolled my eyes.

“As I said during my interview, I won’t promise that I won’t scream if something happens, but I should be just fine,” I laughed his comment off. To be honest, I was a bit nervous. Excited because I loved to travel, but nervous about the hauntings.

Zak stayed in my office for a while, working off of his phone. I would tell him something about what I was looking up every so often and he always looked intrigued. By the end of the day he had his laptop sitting on my desk, sending emails. He claimed the smell of my room was keeping him. I told him he could take it to his office if he liked it that much, but he shook his head and made himself comfortable on the other side of my desk. I looked over my laptop at him before I closed it, and noticed his shoulders seemed more relaxed and he didn’t seem as tense. He had also been nice to me all day. I know we made a truce, but I wasn’t really expecting this much progress all at one time. I made a quick order of another air diffuser to put in his office, and packed up my stuff. I walked out with the guys as we left to go home for the evening, noticing that Zak stayed right by me. I shrugged it off, maybe he was just getting used to me. When I said goodbye to Aaron though, he raised his eyebrow, then sent me a wink. I shook my head and shrugged. Maybe Zak and I could be the best of friends after all. I mean, he was just being nice. Right?

#Ghost Adventures #ghost adventures imagine #zak bagans #zak bagans imagine #gac #ghost adventures x reader #zak bagans x reader

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ciderlikethedrink · 4 years

Text

nate “reviews” albums: razzmatazz

it’s finally here.

it’s razzmatazz day.

i’m gonna do an album “review” of it.

review in quotation marks because it’s mostly just gonna be me gushing about how good this album is.

================================

so i’ve been waiting for this album for a while, and it was very much worth the wait. a lot of the melodies in this album are so nice to listen to and some of them even make me feel nostalgic in a way. even the first time i heard them. dallon seems to be really good at that because i had a similar thing with “too weird to live, to rare to die” and a lot of the songs on “vices & virtues” (both albums that dallon wrote a lot of) so i guess dallon weekes is just really good at writing melodies. something else i like about razzmatazz is that all of the songs have similar sounds so you can tell they’re all from the same album, but they don’t sound the same and you can still differentiate between songs easily. like- they all have the same synths.

==============================

Leave Me Alone: i remember being very excited when this song came out because it was the first things we’d gotten from idkhow in a while. something i want to point out is that there are a lot of references to,,,, hanging in this album. (”go fly a kite until you’re tangled in the hanging tree”) i also adore the sound of the bridge and how it comes full circle after the line “and when the sun comes up, you’ll find a brand. new. GOD.” it’s just so cool and a great way to start things off.

Mad IQs: ABSOLUTE BOP!! back at it again with the hanging references. (”i’ll watch you tighten the noose”) this song is such a vibe and sounds pretty similar to “leave me alone” but like- more dance-y. it makes sense because lyric wise, they both seem to be about dallon’s “hollywood life” according to genius lyrics.

Nobody Like The Opening Band: I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN I FOUND OUT THIS WAS GONNA BE ON RAZZMATAZZ!! this song was my favorite idkhow song for a while and i adore it. i love the lyrics and how it mention that opening bands are trying their best just as much as the headlining band. also the way dallon says “end” dfsjlkasakslfsdkl his vocal performance is so amazing in this song. and the last part!!! aaaaaaa!!1! you aren’t sure if he’s gonna do the high note or not, but then when he does it it’s just SO GOOD. and i love the notes he hits as he goes down (i don’t know anything about singing, i play the guitar, but that’s really nice)

New Invention: thebassthebassthebassthebassssss the way dallon says “bad dreams” he’s just so talented =‘)) this song seems to be about a not-so-good relationship that brings out the worst in the narrator but doesn’t want to leave. or at least that’s how i’m interpreting it. another bop

From the Gallows: 2nd new song. it seems kinda like new invention pt. 2 possibly about the same person because dallon once again mentions someone being beautiful and evil at the same time. i love the piano in this song and the way it sounds like a generic slow love song, when it’s actually a little bit dark. also, is that the fred voice? as in fitter, happier voice? i’m almost certain it is. i don’t have a mac, so i don’t know, but it sounds like fitter, happier voice.

Clusterhug: this song sorta reminds me of some of the stuff dallon did with panic! and maybe even the brobecks. i feel like it could’ve been a vice & virtues bonus track and i wouldn’t question it. oh i just looked it up and apparently it was written during too weird era. so that explains it. the chorus in this song is just so pretty and dallon is once again going crazy with those high notes. it’s very ironic that dallon wrote the line “holy quarantine” before 2020.

Sugar Pills: “could it be that it’s only in my hhhheeeeeeEEEEEAAAAAAAAADD?” i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again, i’m in love with dallon’s voice. that funky musical interlude is so cool. this is one of the songs where the synth-y noises make me feel nostalgic in a way. not that i’ve heard them before, but like you could’ve told me this song was a hit in the early 2000′s and i’d believe you. this is probably one of my favorites.

Kiss Goodnight: i love this song,,, a lot. this is a really sweet love song, it makes me feel like i have a crush on someone even though i don’t. i also love the line “believe i’ll be a gentleman or you can show me the door” because it’s foreshadowing to a later song on the album. i feel like i would hear this song in like- a cool mall. it’s so sweet and i love the pretty lyrics and aaaaaa it’s so beautiful!!!!! did i mention i love dallon’s voice???? i think this might be another one of my favorites, but i could honestly say that about every song on here.

Lights Go Down: this is another one with that nostalgic synth noise. the instrumentals honestly remind of lemon demon, maybe it’s just me, but that those funky noises just radiate lemon demon energy. this song makes me feel like i’m in a car late at night in a big city where all the pretty lights are out and the car smells like air freshener. that makes no sense, but it just does. such amazing vibes. the drums in this song are also very epic. cool saxaphone.

Need You Here: i feel bad because i almost forgot about this song. and it’s about dallon’s kidsssss~!!! that’s so cute. amelie did such a good job. i remember when i first listened to this, i was like “wait is this about his kids?” and it is. i didn’t know amelie could sing so well, i honestly thought they got some other artist to sing there. the high note GOD I LOVE DALLON’S VOICE.

Door: i’ll be honest, i cried like a little baby the first time i heard this one. sorta reminds me of how i am with my friends. just always suggesting that they leave me because i don’t feel like i’m good enough for them. it really do be like that sometimes. “promise the next time you take my hand is to show me the door” that line- oh god- that line gets me every time, dude. my sensitive little baby brain can’t handle that much emotion.

Razzmatazz: i think it’s really cool how they ended the album with the title track. i think this one is my favorite idkhow song. the chorus is so lovely and it makes me nostalgic as hecc. and apparently i’m not the only one because when i commented it about it one the music video some people seemed to agree. the way dallon says “cast all your spells” makes me smile whenever i hear it BECAUSE I LOVE HIS VOICE. that chorus is my life support, i adore it with my entire heart. i’ll never get tired of hearing this one because whenever i hear it, it feels like i’m hearing it for the first time again. “let’s go paint the town on our way home.”

==============================

if i had a physical copy of this album, i would give it a hug and kiss every night before i go to bed, i adore it. 10/10, great album, i love everything about it. i also feel like the track listing is perfect. ending it with razzmatazz was an amazing idea because i brings everything together after door. and starting off the leave me alone? that was a genius move. a wonderful listen from start to end, i’m so excited to see what my boys dallon and ryan do next because i was not expecting an album this great. i’ve already listened to it 2 and half times and it just got released today. absolutely worth the wait.

and that’s all i had to say about razzmatazz, in all honestly, it was the only reason i wanted to get up this morning.

ok thanks for listening

#razzmatazz #idkhow #idkfbtfm #i don't know how but they found me #dallon weekes #ryan seaman #panic! at the disco #the brobecks #album review #nate says nonsense #other bands

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inkedsoldier · 5 years

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AMOR VINCIT OMNIA - Chapter Five

A/N: Here it is – chapter five of the AMOR VINCIT OMNIA series! Do you still have some tissues within reach? Let’s continue where we ended in chapter four. I hope you enjoy & please let me know what you think about the series so far! Thanks for all the support!

Y/N = Your name.

Y/F/N = Your first name.

Y/L/N = Your last name.

Characters: Sam Drake, Nathan Drake, Y/N.

Warnings: angst, and a tiny bit of a naked Sam.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Masterlist

Chapter Five

Scar Tissue

Finally, the day he so long waited for is here; the person he loved, his soulmate, was only a few steps away. Fifteen years he had to wait to wrap his arms around you and kiss those soft lips again. He was as nervous as ever to approach you. When Sam is just inches away you stand up and gaze at him, soaking in the warmth of his eyes. This is what you dreamt of, just the two of you, finally together again. After a moment you raise your hand to his face and let the tears fall. Before you can draw in the air you need you melt down into his form. You feel his strong physique and the heart that beats within. Sam’s hands fold around your body, drawing you in closer. He can feel your body shake, crying for the missed time you will never get back. He cups your face and wipes the tears away with his calloused thumbs, before he leaves a soft kiss on your lips. You want to speak, but the words don’t want to leave your mouth. With each touch more tears roll down and Sam makes the decision to kiss you again, to make your whole world fall away. It was slow and gentle, comforting in ways that words would never be. “Don’t go… not again,” you manage to say with a croaked voice. Sam’s mouth turns into a soft smile and nods once before folding you in his arms again and you lay your head on his chest.

The sun rose, filling the sky with shades of orange and pink, when you make your way back to Nate. The first thing you do when you arrive back in the office is give Nate a comforting hug. You still don’t know what to say as you roll your chair towards his desk, but there was a lot to talk about. “I must say, you two are unbelievable,” Sam chuckled when he sat down in the chair opposite of Nathan’s. “My little brother here told me you had stumbled upon multiple archaeological gold mines… and somehow every time managed to walk away… with nothing.” You smile and Nate answers, “Yeah, well, it’s the story of my life, I guess. But you know, I managed to grab a few trinkets here and there. Paid of the car, the house, engagement ring… Engagement ring. I’m married. I can’t believe - Elena, from the stories… that’s my wife. You got to come meet her. Tonight, dinner. At my place. Y/N already promised Lena to come; I can tell her all about you. Shit, we need to tell her all about you.” Sam uncomfortably stands up, “Nathan… I’m in a lot of trouble here.” You are confused by his reply, “What? What are you talking about? What kind of trouble?” Sam clearly didn’t know how to start; you could see it on his face. “Does the name Hector Alcazar ring a bell with you?” “Yes, he is the drug lord. The butcher of Panama, right?” you respond. “Mm-hmm. It’s a funny story, but um… for the last year he was my cell mate. So, this is how I got out of prison…”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Memories of the first time you went looking for Avery’s treasure spooked through your head when Sam spoke about the deal he had made with Alcazar. Avery’s treasure in exchange for his life. “This is bad,” Nate mutters. “No, we just pick up the trail where we left off and…” Sam started. “Wait, trail? Sam, there is no trail. After Rafe, Y/N and I escaped Panama, Rafe took his parents’ fortune and bought up all the land around the cathedral of Saint Dismas. We combed that place for weeks. Avery’s treasure is not there,” Nate told him. “Not that that’s stopped Rafe. Moron’s been digging for years. Still hasn’t turned up squat,” you spoke just hard enough for the brothers to hear. “Not really surprised,” Sam said. “What does that mean?” Nate answered. “Well I just, you know, happened to do a little digging of my own… And uh… Bet you Rafe doesn’t have this. It’s really amazing what you can find on the internet these days.” Sam shows you and Nate a picture of the Saint Dismas cross. “It’s just the Saint Dismas cross,” Nate spoke with a confused look. “Oh, is it? Because the one we found was broken. And hollow. Remember?” Sam smirked. “Holy crap, it’s still intact. Avery made more than one cross.” Nate replied while looking at the picture again. “So, whatever’s missing from the one in Panama…” Sam said. “…is probably still inside this one,” you finished. “Well, all right. Where is it?” Nate asked. “Oh, this exquisite piece is going up for auction in three days at the Rossi Estate.”

The idea that you had to start looking for the treasure again made you anxious. It took everything from you fifteen years ago; Sam, and your unborn child. The possibility that the clue was probably hidden in a second cross made it a bit easier to swallow. Nate was trying to come up with another idea to save Sam’s life, but there was not enough time left to look for a way out of this mess; the only way to get this cross in your hands was by stealing it during the black market auction at the Rossi Estate. You had to get back into the game as a thief. There was nobody else to trust with this kind of matter. Nate decided to go back home to tell Elena that you were going away for a little while to work on the Malaysia job, and to pack the equipment he needed; the younger Drake had to make his wife believe that you both took on the job after all. You also had to pack your bags for the job and the days of travel ahead. You left your motorcycle at the office so Nate could drive you and Sam to your place; Nate couldn’t just show up with a brother he never mentioned. Going home with Sam was strange. Never in a million years would you have thought this could ever happen. Of course, there were times that you and Nate still believed that there was a possibility that he was still alive, but while looking for him every question came back with a negative answer. Everything confirmed that Sam was dead.

Walking to the front porch you hold the key in the palm of your hand. Followed by Sam you think of all the things you want to say to him. Before you unlock the door, you turn around to meet his hazel eyes, “I waited for you to jump off that cliff and come home to me.” His head whipped up at the sound of your voice, “Y/N, I… I don’t know what to say.” Getting inside, you shut the door behind you with a soft click. “Why didn’t you try to reach out to us? You could’ve sent a letter, or something,” you say as you walk into the kitchen area. “I tried. I asked a guard who did some favours for me to mail a letter – to Nate’s P.O. box, but the warden saw it and he busted me up pretty bad. I never saw the guard again.” “I’m so sorry,” you respond visibly shocked. “How did you survive this mess? Nate saw you get shot and…” Sam pulls up his shirt and shows the scars on his stomach, “Yes, he did. Right… there… The doctors – doctors – they patched me up, and they tossed me right back into the cell.” You stepped closer and gently brushed over the scars, feeling the scar tissue of the exit wounds with your fingers. Shaking your head, you pull Sam’s shirt down again. “I really need to start packing before Nate comes to pick us up,” you state as you kick off your leather boots. “If you want to, you can take a shower before we leave. I still got some of your old clothes upstairs.” Sam didn’t know how to respond to that. Why did you hold on to his clothes for so many years? “I know… it’s stupid. But they still smelled like you. I missed you, Sam. I really missed you. Eventually me and Nate stopped talking about you, because the hurt was too much.”

It didn’t take you a long time to finish up packing - you always kept a bag prepared, just in case. The black backpack had seen better days. You took it with you on so many adventures; everything you needed safe inside. You also filled another bag with clothes, shoes and some other stuff you needed the next couple of days. Sam took your advice and went into the shower to freshen up before the hours of travel ahead of you. There were some essentials you needed from the bathroom, so you knocked softly on the door. “Do you mind if I come in really quick?” you asked. Yes, you had seen each other naked, but the whole situation made you rethink everything. “No, it’s okay,” Sam answered. He was still in the shower when you entered the steam filled room. Your lips parted as you inhaled deeply. The water sprayed softly on his hair, as the stream made its way down along his back and thighs. He obviously kept his physique while in prison. You snap out of your daze when you hear the doorbell ring. Rapidly you grab what you need and sprint downstairs to open the door.

“Hey, you ready?” Nate asked when you opened the door. “Almost. Sam’s in the shower, and I just finished packing my stuff. Did you get the plane tickets?” you replied with a small smile on your face. “Yeah, Sully got us three a plane ticket to Rome with a short layover in London. A rental car will be ready for us when we arrive,” he explained as he sat down on the couch. “Sully?” you said with a confused look. “I thought we could use all the help we can get, and he knows the people running the auction.” You hadn’t seen Victor Sullivan in a long time, but he was always there when you needed him. He patched you up when you got shot, or stabbed, and he loved Nate as a son. He is family.

Tag list:@kiara-arts @wintermuteway

#sam drake x reader #Samuel drake x reader #sam drake #nate drake #Nathan drake x reader #uncharted #series #uncharted 4 #naughty dog #videogame #fanfiction #reader insert #y/n #Nathan drake #imagine

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sambergscott · 5 years

Text

queen of clean

actually managed to finish an entire fic!!! and i don’t completely hate it!!! what is this wizardry

Jake Peralta is an inherently messy person.

When he was a kid, his bedroom was a mess. His mom was always too busy working and dealing with the side effects of marrying a selfish, drunken slut to care and as a result, he never cleaned it up. When he finally got his own place, his bad childhood habits stuck. Clothes lived on the floor, dishes were never washed, shelves and drawers and cupboards accumulated clutter. He wasn’t any better at work; Holt once compared his locker to a Philippine garbage dump and Algernon the mouse was a frequent guest at Hotel Peralta, located in his desk drawer.

In a weird twist of fate, he ended up marrying Amy Santiago - the Queen of Clean.

Moving in with her was amazing and he’d never been happier, but it had also been a sharp learning curve. He was suddenly making his bed every morning (even though he just messed it up again every night #pointless), washing dishes after every meal and she helped him declutter Marie Kondo stylez. She has made him a better person in every way.

Unfortunately, with their jobs, they often work crazy long hours and bad habits sometimes creep back in.

Amy’s away and he’s been pulling double shifts all week and when he gets home all he wants to do is order Chinese food, Facetime his wife and fall asleep on the sofa in front of Property Brothers. Tiredness, missing Amy and being an inherently messy person are not conducive factors to a tidy, clean home. And, of course, he doesn’t realise just how bad he’s let it get until two hours before she comes home.

And it’s really bad. Even for his standards.

The laundry basket is overflowing. The bed has not been made all week. The kitchen is... Actually, he doesn’t even want to think about what state the kitchen is in. Talk about a Philippine garbage dump.

If Amy came home to this, she would flip. And probably immediately start cleaning it up. After a stressful week helping out her dad post- knee surgery and the always anxiety-inducing affair of travelling on her own, the least she deserves is food, cuddles and to come home to a clean apartment.

He changes into more comfortable clothes, switches on Lover and retrieves Amy’s cleaning kit from underneath the sink.

He starts with their bedroom and making their bed. He pulls the sheets over, smooths them out with his hand and styles with the decorative pillows Amy loves. It doesn’t look as neat as when they do it together, but it’s fine. It’ll do. He picks up his excess socks from all over the floor and empties the laundry basket into the washing machine. He throws all the chocolate wrappers from his bedside table away, wipes down the surfaces with Amy’s homemade cleaner and hoovers the floor.

Next, he moves onto the bathroom. He cleans the toilet, bath, sink and mirror and sprays some air freshener to make it smell nice.

Making excellent time, he begins to tackle the disaster zone that is the kitchen. A stack of pizza boxes and bottles of beer go in the recycling, he washes all the dirty plates and cups that are stained with coffee and tidies everything away into its appropriate cupboard or drawer.

That’s when Taylor is rudely interrupted by a text popping up on his phone.

AMY SANTIAGO, 17.57:

Babe!!! Great news!!! I managed to get on an earlier flight! David has just picked me up from the airport. I can’t wait to see you ❤️

“Shit,” he curses, looking around at how much more he has to do before quickly typing a response.

JAKE PERALTA, 17.58:

Can’t wait to see you either, Ames 😘

Picking up the pace, he cleans all the kitchen counters and the oven and also the floor and rushes round the rest of the apartment opening the windows, suddenly remembering that is something his wife likes to do. He straightens the dining chairs, cleans the table, and dusts some of Amy’s ornaments.

Moving onto the living room, he kind of regrets leaving it until last. It’s a total mess. Fortunately, he’s on a roll and it’s pretty easy to fix. He puts all the empty wrappers in the trash and cleans an extra coffee mug he forgot about (he drinks a lot of coffee, OK?). He dusts the TV, waters the plants and hoovers the floor. He’s plumping the final cushion when she opens the front door.

“You’re home,” he says dumbly before she crashes into his arms, hugging him as tight as she can.

“Now I’m home,” she responds, making him blush. She started referring to him as her home soon after they moved in together and, yeah, it’s cheesy, and, yeah, Rosa ripped into them when she overhead them say it one time, but it is true. She makes him feel safe and comfortable and vice versa.

“I missed you.” He kisses her. “So, so much.” He kisses her again. “Wait, how’s my best friend Victor?”

“He’s fine, just a little sore. And don’t let Charles hear you say that.”

“He’s probably had our apartment bugged for years,” Jake shrugs.

Amy scrunches up her nose in disgust. “That actually sounds like something he would do.” His actual best friend is obsessed with their private life. Like, obsessed obsessed. There are hundreds, if not thousands of examples, but just this week when Jake was Facetiming her at his desk, Charles popped up in the background to check whether she’d got her period yet.

(They’re trying for a baby).

(Jake was so excited when they finally decided to start that he accidentally spilled the beans to a delighted Charles).

(His obsession with her reproductive system at an all time high, he constantly recommends the best sex positions for conception, foods she should be eating and names for their future, although hopefully-not-too far-in-the-future, baby).

(Neither of them want to know how he’s suddenly started tracking her cycle).

“Speaking of the apartment,” Jake swiftly changes the subject, “what do you think?”

Using her finely honed detective skills, she clocks the neatly plumped cushions, the sparkling countertops and the lack of takeaway boxes anywhere. Her eyes water as she looks back at him. “You cleaned?”

“Yep,” he grins. “The entire apartment. Well, all the rooms I’d messed up. I didn’t go anywhere near your books, I promise.”

“Babe, it looks amazing,” she says, genuinely impressed and, to be honest, a little turned on.

“You should see the bedroom,” he lowers his voice into what he thinks is a sexy voice, kind of ruining the moment.

She rolls her eyes, following him into the bedroom anyway. Making the bed is a huge source of contention in their relationship and by the look on her face, she’s thrilled that he’s done that too.

“I even arranged your one thousand pillows,” he brags.

“Thank you,” she whispers, looking around the room in amazement. It never looks this tidy. There is always an errant sock or two on his side of the room, but the floor is 100% sock free. It’s beautiful. “I can’t believe you did all this for me.”

“I love you. And this place was kind of a mess without you. I’m kind of a mess without you. But you’ve had a hard week and you deserve to come home to a nice apartment.”

“I love you so much, Jake Peralta,” she declares, grabbing his face and kissing him, pouring every ounce of love and gratitude into it.

When they eventually pull apart, he has a dopey smile on his face. “Maybe I should quit my job and become a full-time cleaner if you’re gonna kiss me like that.”

“You’re a dork,” she replies, punctuating her sentence with another kiss. She suddenly gasps. “Did you clean the bathroom as well?”

“Baby, I cleaned the whole damn thing. Toilet, bath, sink and floor. I even folded the toilet roll into a point at the end.”

“Oh my God. That’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said.”

“That’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever said?” He blanches. His game must be way worse than he thought.

“Mm-hmm,” she hums. “What other sexy things can you say?”

He quickly searches his brain for something cleaning related that his wife would find sexy. “I... uhhh... vacuumed?” He says awkwardly. “And I, um, put the laundry on.”

She gives him an encouraging nod. “Tell me more.”

“I separated the whites and darks,” he plays along. “I put it on a cold wash to save the environment. I didn’t drop any socks on the way there.”

“Ohhh, mama...”

He’s always been a messy person, but if sex is the reward for tidying their apartment, he’s for sure going to do it more often. If she’s the Queen of Clean, he’s going to be her King.

#b99 fics #jake x amy #my writing #the last line is so corny asdfghjkl feel free to murder me !

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aghasexxy · 5 years

Text

Roll The Dice Pt. 2 | Jackson Wang

Pairing: Reader x Jackson

Words: 1962

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Dirty Talk/ ORAL PLAY/ Rough and Passionate

Summary: it’s been a few weeks since you and Jackson had a rather interesting time back at his condo in Seoul. Now you guys are together again and you want to ask him about that night. He gives you the answer you never thought you’d hear and an experience you never knew you needed until now.

I lodge my spoon back into my almost empty jar of Nutella and sigh loudly. My home is empty and too big to watch Train To Busan by myself. I have a list of people I could call to come and enjoy the movie with me, but there’s only one person on my mind: Jackson. Ever since that night in Seoul, I haven’t been able to see him the same. The morning after that whole thing, it surprisingly wasn’t awkward between us. Not in the slightest. I’m a firm believer in the fact that it was most likely because of how tipsey we both were when we got to the condo, especially me. The things he did to me that night, or lack thereof, have been stuck on a constant loop for way too long and I can’t take it anymore. Sure, I genuinely want to hang out with him, but I also want to see if that was just a drunken experience or something else.

I pick up my phone and flip through until I find his name. I click the FaceTime button and wait until I see his face. After about three rings, his handsome chiseled face pops up on the screen. His hair was swept back and his eyes were covered by yellow framed sunglasses. I study his face and notice how apparent the stubble on his face is. Goddamn, my best friend is so handsome. “Yo Y/N! What’s up girl?” I clear my throat. “I’m bored and alone at home and I wanna watch Train To Busan. Can you come over?” He grins and nods his head. “Be there in 10. I’ll bring drinks and food as well cause I haven’t eaten and you probably haven’t had any real food.” I scoff and roll my eyes. “Ummm,” I flash the almost empty jar of Nutella proudly for him to see. “Excuse you, we have company and she can hear you.” He rolls his eyes. “Peanut butter will forever reign supreme but go off I guess. See you in 10.” And before I can protest against his obnoxious claim, he hangs up.

I stare at my screen, realizing what I just did. For the first time ever, I jump up and dash to the restroom to freshen up. I put on perfume, shave my legs and pits, Hell I even put on deodorant. I do all of this when I’m going out for a date, not if I’m just having company over, let alone Jackson. Am I trying to impress him? What the hell am I even doing? I grab a black crop top and throw it on with some grey sweat shorts. I scoff at myself and shake my head. I’ve known Jackson my entire life and not once did I have to go over and above to make myself presentable to him. But this time around, things are different. The tension in the air, when it’s just us two, is different.

My doorbell rings right at the 10 minute mark and I almost shit myself. I internally scold myself. ‘Girl chill out! What is wrong with you?? It’s literally just Jackson! Be cool.” I take in a breath and twist my doorknob. There, standing in the doorway with Cucina red wine, a box of pizza, and an endless supply of Tim Tams, is Jackson. He’s wearing black from head to toe. From his black suede shoes and leather jacket to the worn v-neck T-shirt on his toned chest, he just looks like he’s here to cause trouble. And I’m okay with that. “Uh,” he interrupts my staring and I snap out of it. “Oh uh yeah come in.” He scrunches his eyebrows and proceeds to walk past me. “Okay you’re acting weird as hell but I’m hungry and I wanna see this movie so we shall discuss that later.” He shoves a slice of pizza into his mouth and jumps onto my couch. “Bring your ass over here. I’m ready to watch zombies.” His voice sends shivers throughout my entire body but I clear my throat, grab the wine, and sit down. On the opposite side of the couch. I mentally scold myself again. I’m trying so hard to not be weird that I end up being fucking weird. I turn towards Jackson and see him looking at me, scrunched eyebrows and that playboy grin I’ve come to know and love.

“There’s something you wanna talk about. But you don’t want to talk about it either. I can tell.” I sigh and throw my head back. “Yeah,” I whine and take a swig of the Cucina. “What’s going on,” I hear him say and the next thing I know he’s right next to me with his arm draped over the back of the couch. He stares intently at me, waiting to hear what I have to say. His cologne and overall being hit me like a truck and I choke on my words for a second. “Y/N,” he says softly. ‘Oh god Jackson don’t say my name like that! Don’t make this any harder than it already is!” I inhale, exhale, then turn to face him. I could feel my nerves start to rise and I couldn’t even look him in the face. Holy fuck, why am I getting so damn nervous?? This is Jackson I’m talking to. We literally use to play in the mud in our diapers as toddlers and now I’m sitting here trying to muster up the courage to say that I see him as more than my best friend. “Okay,” I say out loud as I clap my hands together. I look at him and see him resting his head on his hand as he stares at me with the dreamiest eyes. “You’re so cute when you get nervous,” he says softly. Again, not helping. “Listen Jackson,” my thumbs start to twiddle as I try to find my words. “What happened in Seoul?” His eyes widen slightly but his pose stays the same. “Elaborate.” I inhale. “When we played that dice game. At the condo,” he inches closer to me. “Mhmm.” I intertwine my fingers together. “Do you remember that?,” I ask timidly. “Mhmm,” he says again, his eyes never leaving my face. I rub my temples and eyes trying to get my thoughts together. “I just-,” “Y/N you haven’t looked me in the eye once since you started this whole rant,” he inches even closer and I feel the air between us disappearing more. “Look at me please,” he places his hand under my chin gently, lifting it so that our eyes meet. In all the years I’ve known him, he’d always had this hard exterior that was close to impossible to break around other people. He kept it cool but not too cool to the point where he’d be seen as a pushover. But, when it came to me, he was always so sweet and loving and gentle. From the way he spoke to even the way he touched me. And I would melt every time. “Now continue,” he says softly. “I, um,” I clear my throat. How do I even say this? “When you, um, did what you did,” he pushes my hair behind my ear as I struggle to speak. “Was it because you and I were drunk or is there something else I should know about?” I wanna shrink or turn invisible so bad but I’m here now and can’t run away from how I’m feeling no matter how hard I try. He sighs and smirks. “Yeah,” he looks down and shakes his head. “That was a very interesting and revealing night Y/N,” his eyes shoot back up to me and I shudder. He runs his fingers gently over my thigh, the ticklish sensation sending chills all over my body. He starts to speak again. “You ever just want someone so fucking much,” my eyes grow wide as he makes circles on my thigh lightly. “that when you see them after wanting them for so long, all lines blur and you just...do something about it,” he stops his hand and looks at me. I feel my face burning and I know my cheeks are red as beets. “Y/N I’ve known you my entire life. You have confided in me for absolutely everything,” he strokes my face and jaw gently as he keeps his eyes locked onto mine. “I know everything about you. From your favorite food to when your time of the month is,” I see him shudder a bit and I giggle. “I also know everything you want and need when it comes to intimacy,” his hand comes down to the side of my neck. He strokes it gently and I giggle again. “Jackson you know I’m ticklish,” I say between giggles. He nods. “I know,” he comes in closer and I see his head dip to the side. “Where are y-” I feel his breath on my neck and I gasp. He speaks softly. “Which is why I also know,” he gives my neck a quick peck and my hand shoots up to grip his arm. His lips trace my earlobe and I shudder at the feeling of his warm breath. “You love neck kisses,” I feel his strong arm wrap around my waist

“because not only is it ticklish, but that's also how a guy can start to get you going,” he shrugs. “Or at least that’s what you’ve told me. Let’s see if it’s true princess,” and with that, his lips attach to my neck, causing me to yelp and start giggling again. Before I can ask him what the hell he was doing, my mind zeros in on the feeling of his lips on my neck and I try to steady my breathing. Fuck this feels so good. I’m at a complete loss for words. Never did I imagine, in a million years, that my best friend would be pleasuring me in my living room. He’s slow and gentle and damn he smells amazing. “Jackson…,” his grip tightens and his lips work harder on my neck. I moan slightly and he stops for a moment. “There it is,” he whispers as his hand travels down to my chest. “There’s that beautiful sound I miss so much.” He looks down at my chest and his hand rests on my boob. “You know what else I know Y/N?,” he says in a low tone. I get shy again. “W-what?” “That your nipples and breasts are very, very sensitive.” His hand rests on the bottom rim of my shirt. “May I?” He looks up at me for approval before he moves further. I nod. “I trust you,” I whisper.

He takes his hand and goes under my shirt. He starts to massage my breast slowly. My eyes are transfixed on his hand massaging me and I am loving what I’m seeing. I gasp when I feel his lips on my neck again. I close my eyes and let him do what he wants. He’s right, he’s the only guy I’ve confided in about all the things that turn me off and all the things that get me riled up. I whimper softly as my nipples begin to get hard. I feel his lips curve into a grin. I feel his index and thumb grip my nipple and begin to pinch and twist. I bite my lip and moan again. “J-Jackson...fuck.” He stops and looks at me. Our eyes lock on each other as we both try to catch our breath. I don’t know what comes over me

but I kiss him.

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agentmothman18 · 5 years

Text

Rapr

Being a science geek, Purple tended to do research on nights he couldn't sleep. Sometimes he would research things about space or what could possibly be at the bottom of the ocean. But tonight he decided to do human research and weird facts people dont know about.

One of those were about the pupils and how they dilate when looking upon someone you love. He found himself laughing at the thought, but he was curious to know if it was true. It would make finding someone to love you easier than it was.

Purple jotted down some notes and some reminders on a sticky note. He stuck it to his science notebook pulled off his red glasses. It was 1 am and Purple still had school tomorrow, which he wasnt looking forward to. They where having exams this week and tomorrow, or today rather, was history. His least favorite subject.

Turning his computer off, Purple got up and stretched his muscles. Being hunched over for so long really does a number on your body. Purple climbed into bed, fluffing his pillow before snuggling into his covers and closing his eyes.

One thing about Purple though, was that he tended to have restless nights. Nightmares kept him from ever getting good sleep. They were nightmares from his past, things that haunted him even to this day. Since he was an orphan, Purple's had plenty of foster parents. Most weren't to good to him. Until he was adopted by a woman and her wife. Gaz and Tak.

Gaz was the more scarier of the two, making sure Purple knew his manners and everything. While Tak was laid back, letting him do as he pleased. But Tak would discipline him if necessary. Purple was glad they adopted him, because they were the best people he could have ever wished for as parents. Plus, he got to make a lot of friends where they live. Like Zim and Red.

Purple woke to his alarm at 5:30 that morning. He always got up early to make sure he had everything and to get ready. Purple liked to look fashionable so that took up most his morning time. And sometimes he would were makeup, but those where only on days where he felt good about himself. Today wasnt one of those days, he was way to stressed about his history test to care about makeup.

"Momma G!" Purple quietly called, knocking on the already open door. Tak and Gaz usually left their door open because Purple would sometimes sneak into bed with them. Those where on nights when his nightmares got really bad. And when the doors where closed, Purple knew not to bother them. "You have work in an hour." He added, gently shaking Gaz to wake her up. Purple smiled when Tak groaned and wrapped herself around Gaz.

"I'll get her up in a few minutes, Pur." Tak hummed, her eyes still closed as she buried her face in Gaz's neck. Purple always thought they made the cutest couple, and he wished he could find someone like them.

"I'll make breakfast." Purple told Tak quietly, quickly leaving to work on that. So he cooked breakfast, pancakes for Gaz and eggs for Tak. He made himself some French toast, which was probably his favorite breakfast food.

Around 6:20 Gaz came down, fully dressed for work, and ate her food. She kissed Purples cheek, telling him to make sure Tak doesnt fall back asleep before he leaves, and left. Purple cleaned his dish and Gaz's, walking back upstairs to check and see if Tak was up and moving. She had a bad habit of going back to sleep when Gaz leaves.

7:30 rolled around and Purple had gotten all his stuff together. Normally he would pack his lunch but he kinda stopped after Red started bring him something instead. It was usually a surprise, but it always tended to be something he really likes.

"Pur!" Tak called from the front door, coffee in hand. Purple never understood how she could drink it black. It was way to bitter and nasty without creamer and a pinch of sugar. "Red's here to pick you up!" Purple quickly made his way downstairs, pulling on his favorite converses.

"Dont go back to bed momma T." Purple laughed, kissing her cheek and making his way to Red's car. It was a black Kia, simple but very nice. And the best part about it was the insides smell. Which was always roses and rainwater, something Purple suggested 2 years ago when Red got the car.

And thus, the rest of the day was pretty normal. Purple of course was studying his head off for the History exam he had after lunch. He practically knew everything that he needed to know, but that didnt stop him from worrying. Of course, Zim was the one to notice this at lunch time.

"Stop biting your lip!" Zim demanded, causing both Purple and Red to jump in their seats. Zim was very short compared to the two other boys. But he was the loudest. "No one will want to kiss you if you make them ugly." And he was very harsh too. Though Zim was a good, loyal friend to them. He means well, even if he comes off as an asshole sometimes.

"Sorry." Purple smiled in a guilty way, letting his bottom lip go. He honestly hadn't even noticed he was doing that. It was just a habit he did when he was stressed. So, to calm himself a bit, he tired to forget about it. Taking a bite of the salad Red had brought him.

That's when he remembered the note on his science book. Glancing around, he wondered who could be in love and with who. There where plenty of couples, but it would be weird to stare at them. He wondered if Red's eyes dilated when he was looking at his girlfriend, Jess.

So he tried to subtly watch the couple, who he actually didnt like being a couple. Jess was pretty new, only been here for two months, and Purple was already jealous of her. She stole all of Red's attention and tries her best to rub it in his face. Becuase at this point, it was kinda obvious Purple had a big crush on his best friend Red.

He watched as they talked and smiled, doing normal couple things. But as he watched, he noticed how Red would glance at him more than he thought he would. Their eyes met a couple times as well, both smiling a bit at each other. But Purple found himself not knowing whether to smile like an idiot or be surprised. Because every time Red looked at him, his small pupils grew bigger. Like they would after getting those eyedrops from the eye doctor.

"Red." Purple said, grabbing the boys attention away from the girl next to him. He watched as the boys pupils dilated once again, and the questioning look appear on his face. "Look at Jess then back at me real quick." He smiled, trying not to giggle at how confused Red looked. But even though Red was confused, he did as told, not knowing what this was about.

Purple felt butterflies erupt in his stomach at the possibility that Red may love him. But he also had to question if it was romantic love or friendship love. But he didnt care, because he was going to tell him. Via sticky note.

Quickly jotting down his little confession and why he asked for Red to do that, he got up. Folding the sticky note, Purple handed it to Red and quickly headed for History. The bell hadn't rung but he knew the teacher would let him in to study in peace.

By 7th period, Purple was regretting giving Red the sticky note. Because Red was his ride home and he may have ruined that. Because what if Red really doesnt like him like that and he confessed for nothing? That would completely embarrass him.

"Dont forget to read chapters 6 through 10." Mr. Dib called once the bell rang and his students jumped to leave. The only one not jumping to leave was Zim, who was probably going to harass the poor man again. Zim, in lack of better words, was a hoe. Of course, he wasnt, but sometimes Purple had to wonder. Because once that boy finds someone attractive, he tended to not leave them alone until he was satisfied.

"Zim staying back with Mr. Membrane?" Red questioned, falling into step beside Purple. Purple nodded, trying not to let his mind think of the sticky note.

"Yeah. I feel bad for Mr. Membrane. He never gets a break from Zim." Red laughed in agreement, knowing it was true. "I mean, sure he's pretty hot but Zim could get him fired." Purple groaned. He would hate to lose his science teacher, especially since Dib made the class fun. There was always a new story to tell or some cool group project they got to do.

"I'm sure that wont happen. The man should know not to succumb to a needy teen like Zim." It was Purple's turn to laugh then.

And things stayed normal for the ride home. Both just talking about the usual things and even some random stuff that pops to mind. It wasnt until they got close to Purple's home that the conversation turned to the sticky note confession.

"So my eyes really dilate when I look at you?" Red questioned, glancing towards Purple before looking back at the road. He didnt really believe that but he wasn't going to deny he liked Purple. Ever since Purple moved to their town 5 years ago, he's liked him. It's why he always does things to accommodate him. Like bring him lunch, stay up late when hes ranting about something, and even the air freshener in his car. They where all simple things, but they mean more than just simple friendly gestures.

Purple began to pick at his jacket sleeves, trying to think of what to say. He could say yes but that didnt feel like a good enough answer to him. Plus, maybe he was just imagining it all. "It could have just been a different lighting. But yeah." He said, nodding and staring at his lap. Purple could feel his cheeks heating up and his stomach do flips. He was nervous that Red would tell him he didnt feel the same as he did. Which, he wouldn't really blame him.

"I guess it would make sense then," Red began, turning down Purples' street. "Because I do love you." He admitted, glancing at Purple who quickly looked at him.

"You do?" Purple asked hopefully.

"Why else would I do the things I do for you?" Red laughed, pulling into Purples' driveway. He put it in park and looked at Purple.

Purple smiled, looking back at his lap. He always just thought Red was being nice.

"So, how about a date this Friday?" Red questioned, watching Purple smile like an idiot. Purple quickly nodded his head, unbuckling his seatbelt and hopping out.

"I cant wait." Purple said, closing Red's door and practically running to his house to tell Tak about this.

#human au #invader zim #purple #red #rapr #gay #lgbt

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theydontknowaboutusimagines · 5 years

Text

Your Love - Harry Styles AU (Part 34)

Part 33

After a few hours of being on the road, Harry arrived at the house, everyone would be staying at for the festival. The festival was only a few minutes walk away, so the sound of the band currently playing could be heard all the way at the house.

“Uh, how many people are staying here?” George asked.

“Like ten... maybe twelve,” Harry said putting the car in park.

“Wow,” George said looking at the size of the house.

It wasn't huge by any means, but it also wasn’t a tiny house either.

“It’ll be fine,” you rolled your eyes. “We’re not going to be staying there that long anyway. We came for a music festival, remember.”

“So, is this supposed to be like Coachella?” George asked getting out of the car.

“I mean, I guess,” Harry shrugged. “It’s just a music festival.”

“Good, I hate Coachella,” George said.

“He had a bad experience last year,” you giggled.

“Can we not bring this up?” he groaned.

Harry looked over at you raising his eyebrow, “I’ll tell you about it later,” you smirked.

“I heard that!” George mumbled.

You laughed walking to the back of the car and taking the bags out.

“Is anyone here yet?” You asked.

“A few,” he nodded. “But they’re at the festival and there are a few more coming later tonight.”

You nodded following Harry into the house. You smiled taking everything, “It’s cute.”

“It is,” George nodded. “How are the rooms going to work?”

“Um, basically we just find empty rooms and claim them,” Harry said.

“Sweet!” He smirked taking his bags and going on the search.

You looked over at Harry, “Sorry about him. He can be a little much, when you’re not used to it.”

“No, it’s okay,” he said.

“Once you know him, he either calms down or maybe you just get immune to it, I don’t really know,” you laughed. “But he’s a really great guy and friend. He’s been there for me whenever I need him.”

“I can tell,” Harry smiled. “Come on, let’s go find ourselves a room.”

Once you found a room, everyone quickly freshened up, changed clothes before heading to the festival. Harry laced your hands with his as you walked. You smiled over at him and he smiled back. George was walking behind you two, taking photos on his phone.

“Wow, this place is really cool,” George said. “Thanks for inviting us, man.”

“No problem,” he smiled. “I’m just glad I could invite you two to something this time.”

“Hey,” you said. “You know that doesn’t matter, right?”

“I know, “ he said. “But still I like being the one to take you someone where for once.”

“Well, I love being here,” you smiled kissing his cheek.

He smiled kissing your head before you all went in search for his group of friends. A few minutes later, you all approached a group of about six people that were eating some food from one of the nearby food trucks. You recognized some of them from your time at the radio station, but the others you hadn’t really seen before.

“There he is!” One of them smirked seeing Harry walking up.

“Hey man,” Harry said doing the one arm hug thing.

“And I’ve seen you brought some friends,” he said nodding towards you and George.

“I have,” Harry nodded. “This is George and my girlfriend -”

“Y/N,” his friend finished.

“Right,” Harry laughed.

“Hi,” you smiled waving at them. “I hope you don’t mind us crashing.”

“Not at all,” he smiled. “The more the merrier.”

“Thank you,” you smiled.

“So, we’ve just stopped to have a bit of lunch. Then we’re going up to the main stage,” he said. “Feel free to hang with us or frolic as you like. We’ll meet up at the gates before we head back to the house.”

“Sounds good,” Harry nodded.

His friend went back with the others before they all headed towards the stage. You found it a bit odd that the others didn’t say hello, but you tried not to think anything of it.

“So, what shall we eat?” You asked.

“There’s a fish and chip truck,” he said. “They’re quite good. Or a sandwich one over there.”

“Hm, they all smell delicious,” you said.

“Well, we could try a different once each day,” he smiled.

“Now, that sounds like a plan,” George smirked.

You laughed following Harry over to one of the food trucks.

The sun had set and stars filled the sky. You were having a time of your life, just living in the moment. No one had really come up to you and asked for pictures or anything, which you were happy about. You didn’t want to bring attention to yourself and the group, since you were definitely feeling a little unwanted. But you weren’t letting it bother you because, honestly, all that matter was you spending time with your boyfriend.

And that you were.

The current band that was playing, was one that you hadn’t heard before. A lot of the bands playing that night you hadn’t heard of, since they were mostly large in the UK and Europe. Harry had his arm around your shoulders as he held you against him. You smiled feeling at home in his arms. Nothing else matter. You weren’t thinking about anything else or worrying about anything.

George was having a great time as well. He had found the bar and a cute friend, which is exactly what was on his agenda. You knew he wouldn’t do anything stupid like go off with a stranger, plus you could still see him out of the corner of your eye. You both always had a rule when going out with each other. You two could do your own things if you wanted, but you always had to stay with in eye sight of one another.

“Are you having a good time?” Harry whispered in your ear.

You smiled, “I am,” you said looking back at him. “What about you?”

“It’s definitely better having you here,” he smiled.

“Duh,” you joked.

He laughed pressing his lips down on yours. You smiled placing your hand on his cheek as he deepened the kiss. All of a sudden, there was this huge flash. You didn’t think anything of it at first because you thought it was the lights from the stage. But then, the flashes kept coming and now people were shouting.

You and Harry pulled away from one another to the sight of a small crowd of people with their phones pointed at you.

“Y/N! Y/N!” They shouted. “Can we get pictures!”

“Oh my god! Is that your boyfriend??”

What started as a small crowd soon started to grow larger, especially since the bands were in-between sets now. George saw what was going on and quickly left the person he was talking to, heading over to you. Harry sort of froze, while his friends stared on annoyed.

“Harry!” Nick said rushing over. “We have to get her out of here.”

Harry snapped out of it. He and Nick started pushing through the crowd of people, while George was covering you as you all walked through the crowd. It had been so long since you had been bombarded like this without your security team. You could feel your stomach in your throat now and tears started forming in your eyes.

The crowd didn’t seem to be that large, but it felt like it was taking forever for you to get through and get some air.

“Fucking move!” Nick shouted as more people started putting their phones in your face.

After what seemed like several minutes, all of you were finally out and security was finally coming over to disperse the crowd. You followed Harry and Nick towards the gates and as soon as you were out, you finally felt safe.

“Oh my god,” Harry said coming over to you. “Baby, are you okay?”

“I-I” you whispered.

You couldn’t form words and you didn’t realize your body was shaking until someone pointed it out.

“She’s shaking,” George said. “We need to sit her down.”

They found a private spot and carefully sat you down. Nick had some water and handed it to you.

“Here you go, love,” he said.

You felt hands rubbing your back and saw that it was Harry. He kissed your head and you just took small breaths.

“How did that even happen?” Harry sighed.

“All it takes is one person,” George sighed. “One person spots her and then everyone else starts noticing.”

“Does this happen a lot?” Harry asked.

“Not like this. It hasn’t been that bad in years,” he answered. “But she usually has security when she’s in big crowds like this.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Harry asked looking at you.

You shrugged still not being able to speak.

“Do you want to go back to the house?” Harry asked.

You nodded.

He kissed your head, “We’re going to go back, you two can stay if you want.”

“Actually, mate, I’m going to head back too, if that’s okay,” Nick said.

“Me too,” George said.

Harry nodded, helping you up. “Want to ride on my back?” He asked.

You put your hands on his shoulders and jumped on his back. He wrapped his arms around your thighs and you placed your head on his shoulder as you all walked back to the cottage.

#One Direction Imagines #Harry Styles Imagines #Harry Styles AU #Your Love

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loadingluke · 5 years

Text

Days 2-4 post op stage 2

Hey all, here’s a little update on how I’ve been going. Just warning in advance I’ll be talking about some sensitive topics so if that makes you uncomfortable read with caution. Unfortunately the nature of all of this surgery stuff is pretty gross and tmi, but I thought I’d warn you all the same since we’re here now 🤷‍♂️

SATURDAY

Day 2 I would say was my hardest day in hospital, possibly even including stage one to be honest. I was feeling pretty weak and uncomfortable with 3 cannulas in one arm and an iv machine that would just not shut up if I moved my arm at all. I was given a bed wash and that made me feel a lot cleaner, and I brushed my teeth and had some mouthwash, which always makes me feel at least 12% better. I got out of bed for a brief second and sat in a chair. I really wasn’t feeling up for much more, and with the pca, iv, catheter and all the padding I really didn’t want to walk too far at all.

I was still feeling kind of woozy and tired from the bloods from the day before and wasn’t eating or drinking all that much. I started feeling quite nauseous around lunchtime, and nothing really seemed to shake it. I had some anti nausea medication but it didn’t help too much unfortunately. Around dinner is when I started throwing up. I was sick once or twice, and then I felt a little bit of nausea relief for a few hours before it started up again. It really got to the point where I didn’t have anything coming up but I just wasn’t stopping 😫 I was feeling pretty emotionally and mentally wiped, barely drinking or eating and just waiting for it to pass. We believe I was having a reaction to one of the antibiotics I was taking, and by giving me an anti nausea med about half an hour before the antibiotic I felt much better. Over the course of the night I slowly started feeling better, and my vitals started to actually settle and get a little more regular. Everything was up from here to be honest, and since then things have been pretty peachy.

SUNDAY

After my monster of a night I was hoping for a little more relief from day 3, and thank the penis gods this was granted. The difference 24 hours made was night and day. I felt more alert, a lot less sleepy, I had more colour in my face and I felt tons better. I got out of the bed again, and managed to take myself to the bathroom to sponge bath myself, as well as brush my teeth, put on deodorant and change into a clean gown. Afterwards, managed to have a bit of a walk around the ward, dragging along my IV machine which surprisingly chose those moments to behave.

I had the pca and oxygen taken down, and my fluids were drastically reduced once I was able to keep my food and drink down. The drain coming out of my abdomen that was draining my scrotum was also taken out as nothing was draining from it (yay). The catheter wasn’t bothering me much either, so I was feeling pretty great to be honest. I spent most of the day pottering around, I got myself up a few more times, including to go and make myself a cup of tea (a feat I am still very chuffed about and excitedly told Maddy about (thanks for being patient with me, I love u)) I had a visit from a family friend who bought me some flowers and my hospital guilty pleasure that for some reason I always get a craving for, avocado and cucumber sushi. It was nice to see someone I knew and it definitely lifted my spirits.

I got myself off to bed and slept most of the night. The one downside was my IV. I don’t know if I mentioned, but I needed to be cannulated a second time for my blood transfusion, and unfortunately since they were both so close together it was all kinds of uncomfortable. Well, over the few days, as well as me moving, this cannula just would not quit. One of them started leaking and had to be removed, and the one remaining just seemed to jump out of my vein any chance it could get, meaning the iv was having difficulty properly draining. I swear the machine was going off every 2 or 3 minutes no joke unless I kept my arm in the exact same position. The nurses ended up wrapping my arm up with some gauze and a tubigrip to keep it all (somewhat) in place. This, coupled with me literally not moving a muscle, and I started getting a very stiff arm and neck which made it even harder to fall asleep. Also, one of my nostrils decided it was the perfect time to get blocked right then and there, so it was not great getting off to sleep. Once I was asleep though, I slept pretty solidly. I woke up for my obs, went back to sleep, and then woke up again because the machine screamed at me. I couldn’t get back to sleep for a couple of hours because of it, rip. Honestly don’t know how the nurses deal with them. Every time they go off I want to throw it out the window. Eventually I fell back asleep until about 7:30am.

MONDAY

Monday morning I woke up to Dr Goossen coming in for my my morning check up. He wasn’t in for long, and mainly explained what will be happening over the next few days for my discharge, and when I’ll be getting the padding removed. He said he was happy with how everything looked, prodded me a few times and asked if I could feel it (I could) and went on his merry way saving more lives I assume. I had my cannula removed and was taken off the IV machine (thank god) and then I hopped on over to the bathroom for my morning freshen up (at this point I’m getting pretty good at it all if I do say so myself) and then I had my mum and sister come to visit. It was really nice seeing them, and I’m honestly very glad that they didn’t come any sooner because I was in no shape for their energy until today. We ended up getting a wheelchair and going for a little walk downstairs. It was really nice to get some fresh air, and I had a hot chocolate which I enjoyed. After being outside for about 45 minutes I was suddenly feeling pretty wiped and I was taken back to my room. I had a bit of a power nap, and they went home. They’ll come back to pick me up tomorrow for discharge.

The rest of the afternoon I have to say I felt pretty gross. Now that I wasn’t feeling faint or nauseous anymore, and since the padding has been there for 4 days, I started to become uncomfortably aware of its presence. It feels very much like a cup that would be used in contact sports to protect someone’s balls, and it goes right between my legs and up quite high near my butt. This understandably has made navigating bowel movements rather uncomfortable. I managed to without much of an issue luckily, but I don’t know what I would have done otherwise.

I was talking to a nurse and they said they have a running joke that they’d be able to know right away if they were getting a Christmas present form Goossen, because it would be more like a pass the parcel. Honestly, when I was told this, I cracked up because it is so true. There is soooo much tape and padding, it’s honestly so overwhelming. It was the same for stage 1, so I don’t really know what i expected, but it’s really hard to see anything that is going on down there as it’s just a maze of gauze and tubes, so I’m just trusting the nurses and Goossen that they know if it was going in a way it wasn’t meant to. I have to say I did have to fight my brain a bit today, as that feeling of the padding is uncomfortably similar to the something experienced monthly before starting testosterone. Logically I KNOW that it is definitely not the same, but the padding + draining from all the wounds made me feel pretty rough. I think having it sitting there for 4 days has also made it feel pretty gross anyway, so I am counting down the seconds until I get that removed and all cleaned tomorrow morning. This was all bad enough, until I started noticing a little bit of leakage from the urethral catheter, which was awful smelling. It’s not too constant, but was enough that I noticed it and felt EXTRA disgusting. Then some of the padding started falling apart, so a nurse grabbed me a pair of hospital underwear to just hold it all in place. This is fine. I’m fine. We’re fine. ☹️. I’m just telling myself it’s only 12 or so hours until it’s all gone and I know I’ll feel tons better.

The afternoon was pretty uneventful besides one moment when I started feeling like I was getting bladder spasms. I have had these once before after my hysto, but surprisingly was fine for s1. I think I normally would have been okay, but since I was already feeling pretty gross I freaked out a little. I started worrying about the next 3 weeks and how long that would feel if I was in constant pain. The pain was starting to get more and more intense, and I felt like I was busting to go to the toilet. A nurse happened to come in as I needed to have some obs done, and when she had a look at the catheter it seemed to have been blocked or kinked or something. A little bit of a wiggle later and 800mLs flowed through completely fine, and completely relieved my pain. After that I felt much better. Nurses are heroes.

FINAL THOUGHTS

That’s about all that’s happened so far. One thing I haven’t touched on really is the pain, and honestly I’m managing really well. Pain hasn’t passed above a 2 or 3, and I’ve not had anything but Panadol and a one a day anti inflammatory for at least 48 hours. Most of my difficulty has come from the nausea and my low blood pressure, and once that was sorted I would say I was more uncomfortable than in pain.

In saying that though, I definitely underestimated this surgery. I think after overestimating stage one (which I knew would be hard and don’t get me wrong it was rough) but I had a very smooth and quick recovery following my first procedure and I’d heard some pretty horrid stories about how rough it was going to be, so I ended up feeling like it ended up being easier than I expected it would be. I was told that stage 2 would be a lot easier than stage 1 and in some ways it was, but in other ways it was harder. That second day was really hard on me and definitely the worst surgical experience I have had by far. Once I bounced back from that it has been a lot easier compared to stage 1 sure, but living through it at the time it just felt overwhelmingly difficult. My advice is to make sure you take every day as a baby step, and little by little you’ll get through it.

A picture is worth 1000 words, first one is from day 2 post op, feeling my absolute worst, second is from day 4 post op with my mum 😊

Let me know if you have any questions, I’m always happy to help 👍

#phalloplasty australia #ftm #trans #trans man #transgender #trans guy #bottom surgery #phalloplasty #rff #rff phallo #rff phalloplasty #lukes phalloplasty #lower surgery #phallo #dr goossen

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