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venturismcdonald · 7 months

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Derek Venturi is 1989 by Taylor Swift: a sleep deprived essay.

To start: Derek appears to be shallow, fun, kinda ditzy and most importantly, catty. We know Derek's a petty asshole, which is part of Taylor's image during 1989 era. He's also a playboy/cad/whatever word you'd like to use to describe him. Taylor's image at the time was as this serial dater who's obsessed with men. We all know that they both didn't have many serious relationships at this time (honestly, their dating amount wasn't even much more than normal) but they want them.

The 1989 album focuses very strongly on themes of passion and perception. The truth can be whatever you want it to be and it can be twisted to be whatever you want it to seem. That's a motto that, as "king" of SJST High, Derek can live by. He also likes to twist stories to fit his own view of what happened, regardless of the truth. Truth and perception all depends on who you are and what angle you're looking at it from. Passion can kill. Perception is keeping it so that the death is covered up.

One of the core components of Derek's character is that he's passionate. He doesn't think before he does things, he lives his life based solely on his passions, and most importantly, he thinks with his heart, not his mind. Whatever logic Derek possesses (because to say he has none would be incorrect) is hidden away because he doesn't want to be logical. He wants to be able to exist solely on vibes, not on emotions (which are GROSS) or the stupid rules people put on him.

Track One: Welcome To New York

"Like any true love, it drives you crazy."

We all know Casey's the one with the real connection to New York, but this is not a song specifically about New York City. It's about going to someplace where you feel safe, about a home that's loud and vibrant and loving. For Derek, that's the McTuri house. It's insane and everything he wants, really. There's never a boring moment with Derek around, but especially in that house. It's where he grew up, where the marks on the wall are with his height and the memory of Marti tackling him.

Track Two: Blank Space

"Cherry lips, crystal skies/I could show you incredible things/Stolen kisses, pretty lies."

Derek's perception within London is someone who's a serial dater. He doesn't take any of it seriously. The song was written to satirize that experience, to make it seem realer than it actually is. From what we see, all the man does is go on a few dates, get two serious girlfriends in the entire show. This is a man who knows what his own love life is, that it's going to be dramatic and heartbreaking but he genuinely loves and loves hard. He can't help being popular and beloved and the victim of rumors.

Track Three: Style

"Fade into view, oh/It's been a while since I have even heard from you."

This is exactly how Derek feels about Abby. I'm aware Style is about a romantic relationship, but the general theme of an on/off relationship works for his bond with Abby. She shows up sometimes, but she's with other people so often, prioritizing them, that he feels sort of forgotten until she comes into view.

Track Four: Out Of The Woods

"Two paper airplanes flying, flying."

The anxiety present in this track and how terrifying everything is works very well for Derek's fear of Casey. He doesn't fear her, of course (because she's lame and he's cool), but he fears the way that she can control him. Being out of the woods would be being free from Casey and her stupid hold on his stupid heart. Hence why he runs away to Paris.

Track Five: All You Had To Do Was Stay

"Why'd you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?"

Derek's completely aware of how all of this sucks, and the fact that he left, but he maintains that Casey left first. This is all her fucking fault, because she's the one that was in his fucking jersey, which made him run. She was going to lock him out, so it made sense to run first. He was protecting his stupid, foolish heart.

Track Six: Shake It Off

"Got nothin' in my brain/That's what people say."

Some people have the fucking audacity to accuse Derek of being a man whore. Which, yeah, it's kinda cool, but! Derek's not a whore, he dates a normal amount of girls, and it's no one's business! He's smart and has knowledge, even if no one sees it. He can't help that girls like him, so he just shakes off the criticisms from everyone, even George.

Track Seven: I Wish You Would

"You're thinkin' now that I hate you now 'cause you still don't know what I never said."

Why on earth did someone hate Derek enough to make him want Casey so much he's in physical pain over it? She's with Peter because she's a fucking coward and now he has to deal with it, because Derek didn't take his stupid shot and tell stupid Casey that he likes her stupid self.

Track Eight: Bad Blood

"Still got scars on my back from your knife."

Derek is aware that he sounds insane, but fucking hell, the fact that Sam likes Casey is the world's biggest betrayal. He can't believe this happened, because this is cruel. This is the worst thing to ever happen and it's totally not because he has some weird feelings crawling up in his throat and feeling like Sam is stealing his Casey.

Track Nine: Wildest Dreams

"Tangled up with you all night, burnin' it down."

So what if Casey has a new boyfriend? It doesn't matter. Even if the new boyfriend is Peter, Derek is going to ignore that because he's still haunted by that fucking kiss, and he's going to be haunted forever.

Track Ten: How You Get The Girl

"And that's how it works/That's how you get the girl."

There is no true way to say how absolutely absurd Derek thinks the fact that guys say it's hard to get a girl is. He thinks the entire thing is bullshit. And, look, it's not hard to make a woman swoon! It's time to teach a course. Not to Peter, but to the children, who need so much help getting dates.

Track Eleven: This Love

"These hands had to let it go free and/This love came back to me."

Everything is fucking tragic, because he lost touch with Casey for years, but now she's there. They're together, again, and everything might actually be okay.

Track Twelve: I Know Places

"Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it, my love."

Hiding is easy. There are so many corners and places where Derek can hide, places where Derek can just exist with Casey and her insane ass without anyone watching. Their life was always on view, everyone watching, but now everything can be on their terms.

Track Thirteen: Clean

"I screamed so loud, but no one heard a thing."

Casey's a fucking addiction, one Derek can't be clean from, but there's a fucking ocean keeping them apart. And her goddamn husband. Still, he fucking hates this. Everyone thinks that he's over her, but he's screaming in every fucking song that he's not.

Track Fourteen: Wonderland

"Life was never worse, but never better."

They were toxic in Queens. It was a weird flirtationship that was never going to be healthy when they were in that in between stage, so he left Wonderland. And fuck, being lost in it was glorious.

Track Fifteen: You Are In Love

"Time moved too fast, you play it back."

It's so stupid to feel so much for her after all these years, but Derek cannot escape Casey's hold on him. He's so stupidly in love with her, his best friend.

Track Sixteen: New Romantics

"The rumors are terrible and cruel, but most of them are true."

A little bit of a slut era for Derek in his early twenties is what he needs, to cope with Casey getting married. He hooks up randomly for a year, gets a girlfriend, she gets pregnant, and he's not a new romantic anymore, but he's building castles out of bricks.

Track Seventeen: "Slut!"

"Half awake, takin' your chances."

Everything makes sense when he's with Casey, even if he's called a slut. She's the one, goddammit, and Derek's okay with it. All he wants is her, so he'll take the shitty rumors and occasional subtweets from Peter.

Track Eighteen: Say Don't Go

"And I'm yours, but you're not mine."

Just because Derek left, that doesn't mean he's okay! He's mad, selfishly, in a self-destructive sense. If she had just called and asked Derek to stay, he would've flown back. But she didn't, because she doesn't love him, and he just has to accept that.

Track Nineteen: Now That We Don't Talk

"Truth is, I can't pretend it's/Platonic, it's just ended."

Things have changed, and even though they talk, it's different. Everything is different. Rumors are half of how he knows her now, from the kids and Simon likes to share his observations, but Derek's trying to understand how everything works in this relationship now. Nothing is sensical. What the fuck are they?!

Track Twenty: Suburban Legends

"You were so magnetic, it was almost obnoxious."

Peter is cheating, and he's doing it right in front of Derek, who wants to tell Casey, but he can't. He just can't do this when he doesn't have proof, it's just suspicions, but god, they'd be a legendary couple. Derek would never hurt her like this. They would be suburban legends.

Track Twenty One: Is It Over Now?

"At least I had the decency/To keep my nights out of sight."

It's been years, and Derek's living with Casey now, but things aren't over. He doesn't know if they'll ever be. Will they ever get over each other? Probably not. But Jesus, he wants to. Kind of. He also wants to shove her against a wall because the longing is giving him way too many soft thoughts. She's with Peter, allegedly in love, and this is cruel because he's forced to know that every time he sees her stupid ring.

#dasey #life with derek #ry rambles #derek venturi #it is 1989tv release day and i have three thoughts in my brain that are not dasey

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geminirum · 2 years

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pet names druig would call makkari — headcanon!

*screaming crying perfect storms*

very quickly i want to state that whenever it mentions speaking, it also refers that the character is signing at the same time! i’m a of hearing person, so please correct me if i got anything incorrect and i’ll fix it :)

as always, feel free to comment, like & reblog!

Beautiful

this one is the one he uses everyday

as we know, its his go to pet name for her

i love how he said “my beautiful, beautiful makkari” once and we just lost it

i feel like this one would be used just for everyday mundane things

say he wakes up from a nap, she would go get him a glass of water (because we all know that 3am thirst that hits us lmao); and he would say/sign “thank you, my beautiful beautiful makkari”

this pet name is super casual which fits their dynamic, they’re very private

My darling/darling

okay but understand that this is in druig’s accent so it’d come out as “my darlin’”

this one would be used when they’re having a serious moment, a heart to heart

like if makkari was sad, he would say something like “my darlin’ you’re safe, we’re safe, everything is going to work out”

or just a simple “darling, what’s wrong?”

i know we only got like 5 minutes of drukkari but i think they would be an open and honest couple. they’re very in sync with one another and emphasis on the need for trust and open communication in their relationship

Love

this is used when they’re talking about the things that excite them

when he’s teasing her and just smirks and goes, “how you doin,’ love?”

or sometimes he would say/sign it when she’s showing him what she’s found that day— because we all know she’s a collector and has a love for trinkets

he’ll just softly say, “what do you have there, love?” sometimes he would throw in “my love”

i mentioned this before but i firmly believe these two would let the other talk and talk about what they’re passionate about and listen intently with heart eyes

Sweetheart

han solo vibes

i know for a fact he would say sweetheart before they turn in for the night

being all domestic, doing skincare, getting dressed for bed– just simple things like that

makkari probably reads before bed, because she’s a bookworm. idk what druig would do, maybe read, maybe he sketches on his ipad/sketchbook whatever it is

and then they’ll turn in and he’d say “goodnight sweetheart,” kiss her forehead, turn the lights off and go to sleep

Doll

okay hear me out on this one

he uses doll when he’s (flirting) teasing with her especially in the early days

we all know these two are a chaotic duo and would challenge each other with anything and everything

if they played hide and seek (which is canon thanks to the marvel yt channel) he would give her the look– smirk, chin up, lets call it the “if you don’t tell, i won’t tell” look

so yeah they set out the rules and who gets what if they win and he would do that ^ look and say “i’ll see you once i win the game, doll” ;)

#otp: drukkari #ch: druig #ch: makkari

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itswritingtimebish · 4 years

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do you want to write but just can’t seem to get into it?

Hello everyone! In this post I want to share some helpful excercises and things you can do when it’s hard to get into the mindset of writing.

Write fanfiction of your own characters. Take the tropiest trope - sharing one bed, hAnD hOlDiNg, idk whatever - and write about it with two characters in your story. It doesn’t have to be good. It just has to make you feel good. It doesn’t have to make sense within the story, this is not meant to move your plot forward, this is not meant to be a part of your book, it’s just made to put you in the right mindset, to make you excited for writing.

Find incorrect quotes that fit your characters. This might also help you get a better understanding of what types of characters they are. You might even get somewhere within the story with these.

This might be similar to the first one but, write fanfiction of your own story. I mean, take a concept, Doctor Who, for example, and write how it would be if your characters were the characters in Doctor Who! Again, it doesn’t have to be good, it doesn’t have to be useful in the story, it just has to get your creative juices going!

Reread stuff you’ve written that you really like. It might be stuff that is on the book you’re writing - maybe a fluffy scene between two lovers, maybe a fucking great fighting scene, maybe the death of your favorite character. If you haven’t writen anything for that book yet, or you don’t have a passage that moves you (YET), read something else you’ve written! Maybe a short story. It doesn’t need to be anything related to what you’re currently writing, it just has to be something that proves how fucking much you love writing!

Go back to what inspired to first, work the idea, think about what you wanted to write in the beginning and work with that.

Thinka bout a certain character’s background! That can be super helpful for whenever you need reasoning for that character’s actions! You don’t even need to put it in the story just like you’ve written it, but it will be super helpful for the characterization! And if you already have this background thought out, write a scene that happens then! Think about how the character was before the starting point.

These are mainly focused on writing fiction, because it’s mainly what I write. Feel free to add more things that help you!

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing advice #writing #writer problems #fanfiction #(it works for that too!)#writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writing reference #writer block #advice #itswritingtimebish

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impalementation · 3 years

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spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 2

part 1: “When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

“Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id

For all that I’ve just discussed all of the ways that the first three seasons subvert the romance of Angel, it’s also true that the writing still fundamentally takes him—and Buffy’s relationship with him—seriously. To some degree it has to. Because Buffy is the show’s emotional anchor, if the writing didn’t take her emotions seriously, the audience wouldn’t either. It needs to be sympathetic to her (regardless of whether it endorses her, per se), or else it would run the risk of losing all pathos. Making fun of Buffy and Angel makes for a great gag in “The Zeppo”, and fits with the general way that season three undermines the romanticism of them, but if that was the show’s attitude the whole way through, it would come off as simply meanspirited. It would seem like it was making fun of Buffy for being a stupid teenage girl in love, instead of sympathetically depicting the human experience of being caught up in big, tempestuous emotions.

But at the same time, if the writing were to only take romance seriously, that wouldn’t feel very true either. Or fit with the general Buffy ethos, which loves to flip between serious and silly moods in order to capture all sides of whatever it’s exploring. And therein is the magic of Spike’s addition to the chemistry of the show. Practically from his introduction, Spike parallels Buffy’s romantic storylines, except unlike Buffy, Spike is allowed to do the comic or morally incorrect thing. His status as a soulless vampire means that the show is free to use him to point out both the sillier and darker sides of romance, without tainting Buffy’s heroism or the seriousness of her emotions.

In “Becoming, Part 2” for example, Spike is free to explicitly say that he’s saving the world because he wants Dru back, and leaves Buffy to die once he’s gotten her. Whereas Buffy, despite also wanting the person she loves back, ultimately chooses to save the world rather than keep him. Spike allows the episode to show what Buffy’s, or anyone’s, romantic id might want, without Buffy herself going through with it. He also allows the episode to show the ridiculousness of the romantic id, by giving him comic moments like “Didn’t say I wouldn’t”, or “God, he’s going to kill her”, or beating Angel with a tire iron, or any of the times that Buffy makes fun of him (“The whole earth may be sucked into hell and you want my help ‘cause your girlfriend’s a big ho?”). All of which is in contrast to the tragic seriousness of Buffy’s heartbreak. Spike in season two is not a character without pathos; in fact, he has quite a lot of pathos that parallels Buffy’s--think of the tortured close-up on his face as Angel and Drusilla taunt him in “I Only Have Eyes For You.” But neither is he limited or defined by that pathos.

He plays a similar role in both “Lovers Walk” and “The Harsh Light of Day”. In “Lovers Walk” he’s devastated by the loss of Drusilla, as Buffy was devastated over Angel in “Anne”, yet the way they get out of their respective depressions is very different. Tonally, “Anne” plays Buffy’s misery extremely straight, and when Buffy decides to stop moping and become an agent in her own life again, her version of “agency” means getting in touch with her leadership and heroism. Whereas for Spike, agency means a love spell, or torturing Drusilla into liking him again. The romantic id tries to re-possess the object of its desire, whereas the ego or superego is able to set that desire aside, whether or not it wants to. More obviously, Spike in “Lovers Walk” parallels all of the other characters and their romantic situations. All of them are behaving somewhat selfishly or self-destructively in their love lives (Xander and Willow cheating, Buffy and Angel torturing themselves with friendship) but are in denial about the fact that they’re doing so. And then Spike blazes in with his version of love that is selfish, scary, grandiose, charming, pathetic, genuine, and absurd by turns—and suddenly, everyone’s romantic weaknesses are out in the open. It makes perfect sense that Spike finishes the episode gleeful and optimistic, because “Lovers Walk” as a whole represents a triumph of the romantic id over the romantic ego, if only temporarily. And it’s all handled with a brilliantly whiplash-y mix of comedy and tragedy because at the end of the day, the power of the romantic id really is ridiculous. The way that Spike turns on a dime between being scary and pathetic parallels the way it’s at once absurd, and kind of frightening, that your id would make you, say: cheat on your wonderful high school boyfriend, just to have a chance with your childhood crush.

Because Spike is often treated as the show’s romantic id, the writing’s relationship to his romanticism gets complicated. Like Angel, there is something romantic in his aesthetic and behavior, even if he doesn’t look like Angel’s conventional Byronic hero. He wears a long, dramatic coat, poses rebelliously with his cigarettes, and dotes on his paramour with the elaborate attentiveness of Gomez Addams. But unlike Angel, he is not just a romantic symbol or object, he is also a romantic subject. That is to say, Spike’s romantic storylines tend to emphasize his romantic desires, and use those desires as motivation. By contrast, Angel’s storylines don’t really have much to do with whether he’s “gotten” Buffy or not—instead they have to do with whether Buffy has gotten him. The fact that Buffy and Spike are both treated as romantic agents in this way is a key indication that the two characters are meant to parallel each other. Angel’s side of the Buffy/Angel romantic storyline has to do with whether he can control himself around Buffy, whereas Buffy’s has to do with whether he likes her or wants to be with her. Similarly, Spike’s romantic storylines hinge on the status of whether Drusilla or Buffy want him.

Not only is Spike a subject when it comes to romantic relationships, he’s also a subject when it comes to Romantic thinking. He is a character practically defined by his romanticism. He aspires to romantic things, and therefore can be used to poke at romantic outlooks. Despite his grand love for Drusilla for instance, she still cheats on him, and he still has to knock her out, do a love spell, or torture her to get her back. Or he’ll make grand pronouncements that are immediately followed by things like getting tasered by the Initiative or falling into an open grave. Because of this, Spike is able to parallel Buffy’s Romantic thinking as well, not just her romantic desires. Notice how in “The Freshman”, when Buffy is feeling out of touch with her Romantic Slayer self, that she has a scene where she’s treated like Spike--she delivers a dramatic threat and then falls through a ceiling. Or in “Some Assembly Required” when she obeys her id and hotly demands that Angel listen to her, she falls into an open grave. This kind of comedy has a lot in common with the deadpan Angel humor discussed in the last section, but notice that the target of that humor is Angel’s romantic objecthood rather than an outlook Angel has. Angel’s role, when it comes to romanticism, has to do with how Buffy and the audience sees him, whereas Spike’s role (at least in the early seasons) has to do with how Spike sees, period.

The show doesn’t just poke at Spike’s outlook though, it also uses him to poke at other people’s romanticism. In season two, for example, Spike is the one who gets impatient with Angel’s grandstanding, sarcastically explaining that “we do still kill people, you know” and “it’s a big rock.” In “Lovers Walk” he’s the one who cuts through Buffy and Angel’s drama, reducing it to “googly eyes” with a dismissive handwave (while also building it up in his projection-y “you’ll never be friends” speech). In “Something Blue” he points out that Willow is barely holding it together. In “Pangs” he’s the one who brings the debate over the Chumash nihilistically back down to earth, and in “The Yoko Factor” he schools Adam on Yoko not really splitting the Beatles apart. In other words, Spike attempts to see both the romance and the reality of things. He is the avatar of both, which I would argue makes complete sense, because in many ways romance and reality are really two sides of the same coin. Poetry and stories are fake and bigger than life, but you use them to tell truths. But being the id, his point of view can be hypocritical and biased as much as insightful, just like anyone’s gut reactions and poetic notions can be. After all, you can use poetry to tell lies, too.

Lastly, on a meta level, there is a tackiness to Spike that undermines his romantic qualities better than making him dangerous ever could. Spike likes Passions and Dawson’s Creek (in contrast to Angel reading La Nausée by firelight). He lives in a crypt, but the vibe is more “homeless” than “Dracula” (in contrast to Angel’s tastefully decorated apartment). Spike may act like a romantic, but what does it say about how romantic romanticism really is, that the romantic things he likes can be so unrefined? And with the chip, he’s rendered impotent and pathetic. To me, there’s no more perfect image of how the writing uses Spike than the image of him in his black coat, red shirt, and big, leather boots, blasted under the fluorescent light of his Initiative cell. Light that makes his aesthetic seem suddenly fake and silly and surreal. For all that the writing subverts Angel, he is still the kind of character who gets to disappear mysteriously into the shadows, because he is the romance that Buffy has been forced to abandon. Whereas Spike is left with no place to hide.

If Angel represented the idea of binaries, then Spike represents the lack of them. There is a reason that Spike invites so many queer readings. He is a vampire, but he loves. He is an object, but he’s a subject. He tells the truth, but he lies. He is a villain, but he is a hero. He is masculine, but he is feminine. He is insightful, but he’s a fool. He is pathetic, but he is sympathetic. He is on the outside of the Scoobies, but he is on the inside. These aspects of him are not split between different personas, but exist within him simultaneously. It is telling that the show introduces human, mythos-bending vampires like Spike and Dru in a season about disillusionment, and it is telling that Spike’s role in the show becomes ascendant in the seasons after Buffy leaves Angel and his split personality behind. As Buffy begins to reckon more deeply with her id, and her dualities, she will begin to reckon with Spike.

part 3: “Something effulgent”: Season five and the construction of Spike the romantic

#romanticism series #buffy #spike #angel #s2 #s3 #s4 #gen #btvs

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vidalinav · 3 years

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Nesta even losing some of her powers was unnecessary.

Prefacing this by saying, I can understand why Nesta trains, but I can’t understand why she doesn’t also discover more of her powers. The whole thing set up by Nesta’s character is that in order to control a lot of what she feels, because she feels too much as Feyre suggests, is that she pretty much shows no emotion, or she makes a great show of being aloof and taciturn and arrogant (Darcy 2.0), putting up walls, and the one emotion that slips through the cracks is always anger. Anger that incontrollable flame that we know has been associated with her and with Cassian, who goads that anger out of her, almost yearns for it. She is raised, we learn, to be this way. She has to be this way or she will drown under the weight of it all, as it’s suggested. Drowning is like that main motif running through the entirety of acosf. Nesta drowned in that cauldron, she was pulled under, there’s a constant theme about the sea. We learn in acofas that Nesta one, doesn’t feel anything except sometimes anger, and two, that she can’t control her powers. She couldn’t control them in the war, which she uses as a way to form some feeling of irrational internal guilt, and she doesn’t use them in acosf for the majority of the book, really. Which would be understandable in some ways because reasonably by the end we learn that she doesn’t really want to feel anything, and when she does promise that she’ll feel it all that is the direct instance where she is seen to use her powers to save Feyre, because she makes that deal with the cauldron and in some ways the Mother. We definitely get instances of her using them unknowingly in ways that suggest the powers are not evil (i.e. the sword, the house, etc) though we have the contrasting perspectives of the IC believing that they are malevolent because of... Nesta?

However, I feel this book completely lacked the idea that Nesta took that cauldron’s power, something I consider to be set up as empowering (because well she gained power and control) which is the other half of this whole situation of the power overwhelming her. This is something that many fans have brought up in the case of people not liking Nesta losing the power, that “oh it was overwhelming her, so I don’t think her getting rid of the power is bad thing,” and I’ve always kind of taken that stance as like ehh, because I’m like yes... but no... It’s not that the power overwhelms her, it’s that her entire being overwhelms her. That she feels too much and she burns with it--that’s what Feyre says in acomaf. She keeps walls up to keep herself from being overwhelmed. And what happens throughout acosf only to end where Nesta loses power? The entirety of the book is that Nesta needs to change, and being accepted is the heavy conclusion. I won’t re-make that argument it’s in another post.

However, I am saying that that is why I don’t like Nesta losing her power, even if it was a self-less act on her part. That was never a doubt. Nesta has done constant things to prove that she would be there for Feyre/people at the drastic end, even if she’s not welcoming in the uneventful middle. The wall scene, the “we’ll be fine” scene in acotar where she’s like we don’t need you be free, To the queens in acomaf, sticking up for Feyre/Cassian with Tamlin in acowar, telling her story to the High Lords, using herself as a sacrifice in the end of acowar. We didn’t need another scene of Nesta doing a dramatic thing for Feyre. I’d argue we only needed a scene where they came together and mutually understood each other for once in their lives. But that’s not what we got, we got a scene that following Nesta having revelations that she’s “okay” and hopeful after being constantly berated and shoved in a house and walked up mountains as punishment, where her father is seen as okay (???), where we learn she has had a bad childhood, where she is in constant situations that are exactly the same as the situations that made her trauma in the first place, and where she doesn’t ever come to the conclusion that perhaps her thoughts are both accurate and incorrect, that she can be both the victim and the tormentor, which are two sides of the same coin. Nesta loses most of her anger... and then she loses most of her power... It remains to be seen how much she’s lost, but that’s a great big chunk of character. That’s quite a bit of everything we know of her character.

But going back to the power itself and anger. Feyre in acotar says that her father wouldn’t have went and saved her because he didn’t have “the courage, the anger... but Nesta had gone with that mercenary” to find Feyre. Something that can be viewed as the first act of love to Feyre. Something that makes Feyre change her mind about who Nesta is. This is the first time that her anger is associated with something directly “good” because that’s how Nesta is, which is then show again and again.

And then in acomaf, Nesta who is put in a terrible situation where she has no control whatsoever, which is the start of something deeply traumatizing, in her anger steals from what is stealing from her. Similarly, I feel to learning how to fight so that she can have control. Nesta takes some manner of control in a situation where she has none.

And then Nesta in her anger at almost losing Cassian obliterates the queen and her power is felt across Prythrian.

And what I’m trying to really piece together here, is that Nesta’s power--Nesta’s anger--can be both something good and bad, something overwhelming and empowering... Something that Nesta logically may never be able to control completely, but can learn to accept, learn to minimize damage or know that she must constantly be aware, which is I feel the more natural way of growth. That growth is a constant battle. It is also something that remains to be seen whether it is good or evil, perhaps is neither of those things, something that remains in the middle to whatever situation occurs naturally. That is overwhelmingly good at the drastic end as Nesta is, and may be neutral or so-so or chaotic or unwelcoming in the (un)eventful middle.

She didn’t have to lose anything. Not only is it something that S/JM has done so many times. Not only is it something she doesn’t do with her male characters. It is not necessary, when everything is set up perfectly fine to have developed those powers and in turn develop her character, because they’re equally related instead of having the end lead up to losing her power and in turn losing a major facet of herself, which is something that has a constant presence in this book. In no way is this book more about acceptance than it is about change.

Acosf lacked the nuance that is Nesta’s character. It was one side of a coin. Which 1. is not fitting for a standalone in which romance occurs but character growth was suppose to happen in and sort of be relatively completed in (the bulk) and 2. it’s why I don’t understand why S/JM just didn’t leave Cassian’s pov out or integrate it better or leave some of the plot that was irrelevant. It’s also why I get deeply perturbed about this book series, because it can be so good and it’s just so disappointing. She set it all up. It doesn’t take a genius to connect dots. So why was this book so woefully underwhelming? Oh I know, it’s because she drastically reduced a character to “I hate myself. I hate my power. I hate my anger. All of these must be gone”/”These characters think my anger is bad, they’ll also think my power is bad and I’ll agree” and then did virtually nothing to prove that all of this was irrational in both cases, except with a “losing my power” moment that wasn’t even necessary or set up well.

#thank you I love complaining about this book #it's so horrendous #I can't #It's the epitome of hubris to think that SJM thinks this is a good book #as a seasoned author #I should really not be a perfectionist if this is what is allowed to be published #anti sjm #nesta archeron #nesta archeron meta #Wednesday rant days #anti acosf

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sepublic · 3 years

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Unpopular King Opinion

Unpopular opinion I’m about to repeat AGAIN; But King actually has a lot more depth and nuance than people give him credit for, and he has that depth regardless of whether or not he was an actual king of demons or has some mysterious, all-powerful backstory or whatnot. If we look at him just as-is, at face-value, with what we actually have in canon, no speculation; King IS a very interesting character, actually, with a surprising amount of darkness!

There’s the parallels with Lilith that I’ve brought up in the past. King is a very artistic individual who wants glory and recognition, but on his own terms; He wants to be appreciated for stuff he cares about and feels he has agency in, not because he’s superficially adorable or anything! But at the same time, King DOES want to be coddled and cared for, given a sort of childhood he never really got- But he just wants some respect and agency with that as well, is that too much to ask for?

And that fits with how Luz babies him, but in a way that respects and listens to King’s requests, taking heed of his advice and lessons; Eda treats them both with respect and a proper level of accountability, while also protecting them because they’re both kids who don’t deserve that. This contrasts with Amity who’s kind of forced to grow up and is superficially taken seriously, but on the downside, she’s severely emotionally stunted and feels like she has to do all of the heavy-lifting for herself and others, by herself.

King is kind of coming to age in his own way like Luz, learning to take accountability and responsibility for his mistakes, as part of that quest to be taken seriously and respected, while still getting to be treated kindly and looked after, and then looking after Luz by himself occasionally. He wants power and control, but he sometimes has issues with the responsibility that comes with that, with demanding attention from Luz in Really Small Problems, and how King has to step up to his alleged leadership role by owning up to his mistakes, how we see him be a great teacher at Hexside for a day.

We see him start as a terrible teacher in I was a Teenage Abomination, before he improves in The Intruder, and by The First Day he can win the hearts of an entire class of teenagers, kids he once thought were terrifying after Once Upon a Swap- But who he grew to better understand thanks to his experience in Luz’s body, as well as learning to understand Luz herself and be a better person to her! Even when his fears of judgment aren’t fully conquered during Grom, no thanks to Eda’s own personal experiences and warnings- Gus manages to encourage King’s eventual confidence to speak out!

King’s got a disconnect with Luz and Eda in that both are only really demonized or looked down upon, as criminals and troublemakers, a cursed witch and a human, dehumanized… While King has been mostly fetishized, but that too is also dehumanizing, reducing him to a prop and a toy, a doll and a pet; One that people like Roselle, Dottie, Tibbles, and Boscha think they can just buy and own without permission. Just a cute animal to own and be carried by his collar by say Lilith, who also dehumanizes Luz as another one of Eda’s ‘pets’.

And as I said, that disconnect about being fetishized and seemingly ‘wanted’, to Eda who was cursed and ostracized and seen only as a monstrous freak; It means she doesn’t quite understand and even downplays King’s issues with that, which it’s why it’s important she literally walks in his shoes during Once Upon a Swap, that Eda realizes that being fetishized isn’t fun either, that her and King both just want respect and agency and to be treated by people with their own agency, and not like, say, someone’s younger troublemaker of a sibling who doesn’t understand what she’s getting into, as Lilith sometimes feels about her.

Likewise, King has issues with feeling outpaced and left behind by others, we see it literally happen in Covention and Really Small Problems. And this inferiority complex makes King convince himself that it’s okay if he acts against his friends, THEY can easily handle a minor loss or two when they’ve got so many wins under their belt, when they’re much farther ahead; King just wants to catch up, to be on equal footing with them! And he IS, Luz and Eda do respect and care for him, even if they sometimes forget to, but it doesn’t justify King working behind their backs, using Eda’s owl-beast form to get revenge on a toddler, or taking the credit for Luz’s work and even trying to make her friends disappear.

He’s got very artistic inclinations, if King were a witch he’d easily be a Bard AND Beastkeeper at least, maybe in Abominations as well! It provides a sense of control over mindless, obedient people… But honestly, I don’t think King is THAT obsessed with power. He just wants to feel in charge when for so long he’s just been brushed aside, ignored, and talked over. When he’s in a good environment and feels safe and in control to a reasonable degree, I don’t think King would actually care for an army to command as much, if at all.

I’ll say it again, but it’s hilariously meta that people ignore King’s depth and personhood, his individuality often, and just boil him down to the cute pet, a borderline shallow mascot; Just another pretty face, a garnish to a more important criminal like Eda on her Wanted Poster, or as Luz’s little furry animal companion and sidekick. That’s what the characters in-universe do… And it’s what the fandom kind of does, in a sense? People in-universe don’t even have the luxury of getting to know King intimately as an audience member.

…Mind you, I STILL love adorable King fanart and memes to death! I am not at all trying to fault anyone who doesn’t recognize King’s depth this way, I can see why you’d miss it in a sense, and I’m not implying that anyone is somehow a ‘bad person’, or a ‘fake fan’, or whatever, for not considering this a lot more. You do you, and I’m not saying it’s a personal requirement that people intimately discuss and consider King, I will always enjoy the cute fanart and depictions of King, the Incorrect Quotes, all that stuff! I just kinda wish we could have that, AND more acknowledgement of King…

So I want BOTH things, so even if I’m missing out on one- I’m definitely going to enjoy the other, and it’s okay if one wants to as well! Go ahead, enjoy King as you please, guilt-free… I just wanted to get this out there, and anyhow, I’M not the boss of anyone, it’s not like I can tell anyone else how to engage with this show, its characters, or the fandom through the content that’s produced! I’m just another fan and viewer.

#the owl house #the owl house king #the owl house luz #luz noceda #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #meta #character analysis

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mikaze-discord · 3 years

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Class S: Love letters

This is the Class S+ Cecil love letters!!

Please enjoy under the cut

TOKIYA ICHINOSE

From Riri:

Maybe it was his midnight-blue hair, or perhaps it was his ocean eyes, but the very moment I laid my eyes upon him my mind immediately thought, “Wow, he’s very good looking… charming... I really like his vibe.” That was the first reason why he piqued my interest, rather, the initial reason why I fancied him. My eyes were drawn to him and the fact that Kay bombarded me with a truckload of his pictures didn’t help at all, I just fell deeper into the hole. But as if that wasn’t enough, she started spamming me with utapri songs and I fell in love immediately. They are all such good singers but there’s one of them who sticks out to me the most, as expected, it’s Tokiya. His voice has this intricate and refined softness that seemed to caress my ears and touch my soul. He has such a sweet (and might I add a handsome) voice, kudos to Miyano Mamoru for that.

So I started watching the anime and through that, I got to know him better. At first, he seems cold with an air of loneliness and uneasiness dawning on him. But as the series progresses, I discovered that he’s a good-natured, warm, and dedicated person who loves singing and music with all his heart and all. He’s hardworking, dedicating everything to his craft. He has pride in it, so when he was told that his singing has no ‘heart’ it affected him a lot. That caused a lot of distress in his system, and the fact that his company is pushing him to pursue other things than being a singer added to that. His passion for his craft is burning, a fire that no one could put out. That’s one of the things that I love about him. He’s dedicated to everything he does. He’s a perfectionist but he’s also a caring person who cares a lot about the starish members. He’s genuinely a good person but that doesn’t mean he’s perfect. He strives for improvement and development all the time. He helps the members whenever they need. Most importantly, his attitude towards his passion is respectable and admirable.

I might’ve said a lot of things but I guess that only means I love a lot of things about him. He’s such a beautiful soul that inspires me to be more dedicated to my passion, to make my dreams come true no matter what it takes. His path towards his dream was rough, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows but that’s life, isn’t it? Despite that, he kept walking towards his dream. He’s admirable, respectable, and irresistibly loveable. That being said, I love all the things that made his character; that made Tokiya Ichinose be the kind of character that he is right now.

PS. Miyano Mamoru played a big part too. His insane talent gave life to Tokiya’s character.

From @poorlydrawnutapri:

When I first watched the Utapri anime like 6 years ago, having a best boy didn't cross my mind. At first, I was just most interested in Tokiya out of all the boys because I just thought he looked cool. I liked how mysterious he seemed and also, his hair, probably just because it was blue tbh. Either way, good design.

However, what really got me attached to him wasn't his looks. I then liked Tokiya's serious personality. I like how he starts off cold and stoic but how throughout the games and anime, he slowly softens up. I didn't just like his personality, I could also relate to his perfectionism and hard-working side, even when he exhausts himself, which is something I admit I also have. I continue to relate to him now after all this time, and that's why he's such a good character to me.

Besides that, his songs are nice to listen to and he has just a very pleasant voice. It's nice just to go listen to his voice after a long day. In a way, liking Tokiya also got me into the whole Utapri franchise: made some friends, made a couple of good memes, all that kinda stuff.

Also, I feel like it's a crime not to mention this so: he thicc. Like, dang, no wonder the guy only eats salads because all the fats he eats goes straight to that ass of his. (I am sorry that you had to read that.)

Overall, I just think he's neat. To me, he's relatable and has a nice character development. Tokiya is and will continue to be my best boy. :)

REN JINGUJI

From @incorrect-jinguji-ren:

Ren Jinguji, the 5th member of Starish is without any shame my favorite character of the Uta no prince sama series. Though often disregarded Ren is and always will be my most favorite and I firmly believe that he has one of the most, if not the most depth in his character. I love Ren a lot however because of his surface charismatic attitude he is usually labeled as a “playboy” or a “lothario”. This is not correct and it should never define him, as he actually is one of the most gentle and compassionate characters of the series. Ren has a very deep surface characterization and personality that is never usually recognized unless you truly take the time to understand WHY Ren acts the way he does, and WHY he makes the choices that he makes. My favorite part about loving characters is being able to accept them for their demons and embrace what others would see as the “imperfections” in them. That Is the best way to truly love them. I love Ren because of his motives, choices, and most of all his passionate loving heart. Although the pain he hides and the personality of who he really is, is hidden under a mask of charisma, he never loses himself deep within.

He’s misunderstood, but he’s beautiful. He’s so deep, from the everlasting devotion to loving his passed on mother, to always cherishing memories and the past bond he had with his childhood best friend Masato, to going against what his brother wants of him because he wants to fight to have a choice and to be passionate about something that he wants to love, because HE wants to love it. Ren didn’t have the love that a lot of people had at such a young age, he made a path for himself and along the way succumbed to the human faults that we all falter from within the hardest times in our life or even dicult events. He almost gave up, just as I know many of us had almost done before, as I know and can relate to, and still do now.

But he dusted himself o and picked up where he left o, making himself happy from once the feeling of being a hollow shell with no reason why he even existed to realizing that the most important thing in the world to him was cherishing the people who made him see the world in colors and seeking the choices that had been stripped from him at such a young age. He broke free from the chains of his family, his past, and his regrets to spread a beautiful pair of rose wings, his own wings to fly. And I hope he always flies. I will always love him, and wish nothing but the best for him whatever that be.

From @chips-and-vodka:

Ren Jinguji- the sexy, charming and flirty member of the STARISH boys. The youngest of the Jinguji family, a troubled child who grew up without a mother. A person who possesses many charms and is blessed with the gift of beauty. A red rose he was, beautiful yet his thorns are to be avoided. Beneath his passionate and seductive mannerisms there is a boy that craves genuine affection, from the one he truly adores and cherishes.

Ren Jinguji to me initially was one with a beautiful, attractive deep baritone, who is voiced by none other than the legend- Suwabe Junichi himself. The voice is an accurate fit of how this stereotype of a charming bishie should be, youthful and sensitive, and at times warm and seductive. His portrayal brings out the appeal of the character, the emotions and thoughts a troubled young adult such as the ‘useless third son’ lived through. Many would see him as a romantic one, one who showers those around him with attention and passion. Within however lives a rebellious soul who distrusts many, but still somehow desires that ray of sunshine that brightens his lonely soul.

Ren Jinguji is one that deserves real love, someone who appreciates him for who he is.

SYO KURUSU

From Jules:

Why do I like Syo, huh? Well, there are a lot of reasons! Some of them are more personal ones. First of all, Syo has always been my best boy, since UtaPri (the anime) exists. So ten long years now.

His fashion style is the first thing I noticed and it immediately intrigued me. I remember that my first thought, after seeing him in season one, was “Woah, he looks really cool!” even though Syo was just in his school uniform! I think what also made me interested in him was his energetic persona. The way he looked up to Ryuya Hyuga and wanted to follow in his footsteps was really sweet to me as well. Syo’s enthusiasm and positive attitude actually encouraged me to become stronger in a way too, if I’m being honest. I, personally, have always found his songs motivating and they made me feel better. I really came to love Syo in his episode in season one. When he talked about his childhood and how weak he was, I really felt with him. From that moment on I cheered him on and Syo definitely became my favorite character. My interest never wavered over the next seasons either.

I also have personal reasons why I love him so much. I just feel very connected and relate to him a lot, y’know? We have quite a few things in common. Syo and I have the same eye color, we have both played the violin since we were little, and were born weak and with pretty much the same health and heart issues. I like to say that Syo “saved” me, which is true. There is also the fact that the blonde and I are both on the shorter side (and regularly get teased for it), too! Though, I’m even a little shorter than him.

But to be more positive again, there is just so much more to him than meets the eye at first! Syo is more than just the stereotypical short sporty character. He really cares for his friends and wants the best for them. Syo’s friendship with every STARISH member is different but still close. He’s also protective of the ones around him. Syo really cares about his little twin brother too, which can be seen in the games and the few times he talked about him in the anime. Syo’s big heart easily balances out his, sometimes, tsundere behavior and I love him for that. This blonde idol is just a great guy and deserves all the love he’s getting and more.

Seriously, stan Syo Kurusu, guys!

From Vic:

Syo Kurusu is my favourite idol within the utapri games and any other form of media pertaining to the franchise. He is my favourite idol because of several factors, one of which being that his voice actor is Hiro Shimono, who voices Zenitsu from Demon slayer and Lucifer from “Devil is a part timer”. Syo is a very outgoing character and is talented in many aspects athletically. Born with a heart disease, he continues to persevere throughout the myriads of life’s problems in front of him.

He’s extremely outgoing and is proficient in the martial art of Karate and desires to strengthen his body more than what it is currently. He is best friends with Natsuki and can communicate with each other proficiently. Syo is my favourite character within the franchise because of his resolve, perseverance and great chemistry with Natsuki and his teammates. Hiro Shimono did the character justice by making his voice one of young, adventurous and energetic. With that said, Syo is a character I truly enjoy within the franchise and wish to see more of him.

CECIL AIJIMA

From Anon:

Greetings, princes and princesses, and welcome to a world of princes, questionably talking cats, and magic! I’m of course talking about Cecil Aijima, our foreign prince of UtaPri! So, why do I like Cecil Aijima? It’s borderline ridiculous, but it’s because of Cecil’s birthday. More specifically, Cecil’s Birthday Cruise card. But, I should start at the beginning.

Back when I first watched the anime, I thought Cecil was a little bit of a brat towards literally everyone, and one of my least favorites at the time. After watching through the rest of the anime though, I started to like him a lot more than I did before. To me, he had matured a lot after season 2, and never turned back to that bratty self. And so, when playing SL, he might not have been my favorite, but I didn’t hate him. Then, that one fateful day, I decided to pull in his birthday gacha. To my surprise, I had gotten the card in my first pull! Then the story dragged me into the Cecil Appreciation Group. I thought the story was incredibly cute. Then I got more Cecil cards so I could read more stories. Then the cycle repeated itself again. And now, well, if I’m writing this, I think you know what happened to me afterwards. I’ll be here, doing my best for him.

From Eden:

The boy with childish like demeanor but continues to have a heart of gold for his friends and wonderful composer.

I remember first watching Utapri in middle school and questioning. "Well shit- this is my life now..." and I didn't really have a favorite character at the time. I was always bouncing between characters like Syo, Otoya, even the teachers. However it was season 2 that made me realize who my true favorite was. Despite his at first cocky nature when he was first introduced, Cecil to me was amazing! His singing was magical, his origins even more fascinating. You wouldn't think Utapri would turn that down the magic route but it somehow did.

As the seasons went on, and as I got more into the series, he just became more of a love to me. His kindness and child-like nature and curiosity, he felt different than the other characters.

I love the other characters, yes but him?

Something about him just felt right! He not only seems to be a protector for those he cares about but also feels like he would be the best person to be around. Always wanting to do anything new and exciting just to peak his curiosity and to learn more. Ever since then, he has always been my favorite. The one and only Annapolis Prince, Aijima Cecil.

#utapri #utanoprincesama #uta no prince sama #Tokiya ichinose #ichinose tokiya #ren jinguji #jinguji ren #syo kurusu #kurusu syo #Cecil aijima #aijima cecil

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4mph1b10us · 3 years

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korekiiyo shiingujii ana1ysiis

spoii1ers for ndrv3!

iit’s quiite hard to wriite 1iike thiis wiith autocorrect on, so from the 1iine break be1ow ii wii11 not be usiing my typiing quiirk Σ(･口･)

word count (exc1udiing author’s notes): 1,611 words

tota1: 1,717 words

for siimp1iiciity's sake, ii've done thiis on computer so that there's not a wa11 of text

~*~

"You wonder, "Who is this?" Yes... I shall make that clear first. My name is Korekiyo Shinguji... I am called the Ultimate Anthropologist."

~*~

Hello everyone, my name is Milo, and today I’ll be doing my best to cover one of my favorite characters in the Danganronpa universe, Korekiyo Shinguji. He is originally from the 3rd mainline game, New Danganronpa v3: Killing Harmony. Since I don’t physically own the game, I’m basing most of this essay entirely on the Danganronpa Wiki page for Shinguji. Please read that if you desire a more lengthy look at his actions from an unbiased perspective since this one leans more towards empathy than hatred. Whoops!

We first properly meet him after talking to everyone else inside of Hope’s Peak. He’s in the main hall and standing away from the doors leading out to the courtyard. When he introduces himself, Shinguji goes on to talk about anthropology and the beauty of humanity. This proceeds to creep Akamatsu out.

Alongside that, in Chapter 3, we are unfortunately forced to see his relationship with his sister. It’s weird and only gets weirder if you spend two of your Free Time events talking to him when you first play as Akamatsu. He’s evaluated that all girls present at the academy would be great “friends” for his sister, barring Iruma and Harukawa. This is because Shinguji believes that Harukawa doesn’t believe in the power of love, and Iruma is just… well, she’s Iruma. Hardly the girl you would want to send home to your parents.

This weird incest plotline is unfortunately present in most Danganronpa games, such as Leon and his cousin (though one-sided on his cousin’s behalf; he didn’t like her), Tsumugi in the Love Hotel (if you consider that canon), and Monotaro & Monophanie (which is then implemented into Gokuharu’s execution, killing them both).

His sister’s name is never disclosed in-game or in any other Danganronpa media, so the fandom dubbed her “Miyadera/Miyatera,” which is an alternate way of reading Shinguji’s last name. The miya character - represented as 宮 - and tera character - 寺 - are both present in Shinguji, 真宮寺. For the rest of this essay/paper, I’ll be referring to his sister as Miyadera, and himself as Shinguji.

I’ll be getting deeper into his mischaracterization later on, but I want to talk about his appearance for now. Mainly, his hair, his mask, and the lipstick he wears. From what we see of Miyadera in Shinguji’s execution, if that is Miyadera at all, we can see that she had long hair, and when Shinguji was turned into a ghost, it was the exact shade of Shinguji’s hair. From here, we can assume that Miyadera looks exactly, if not similar, to Shinguji.

His lipstick and mask are results of representations of his tulpa, Miyadera. Tulpa is defined as “a concept in mysticism and the paranormal of a being or object which is created through spiritual or mental powers.” In much simpler terms, it is an object or living thing that was created/imagined through spiritual/mental abilities. Shinguji gained a tulpa by being beaten half to death by villagers shortly after arriving there. When he was in a state between life and death, he saw his sister, who joined his subconscious and took control of his body whenever his mask was off. It’s why we only see him take off his make once Saihara dubs him the culprit of Chapter 3, and why his voice suddenly took a more feminine tone. A quote from Miyadera, which can be found in the game, is, "Sweet Korekiyo, calm yourself... Their words are all hollow. There is no meaning to any of them... You must teach these ignorant children a lesson."

That statement can be interpreted two ways, one; that she’s trying to calm him down and two; she’s repeating whatever she said to him during childhood. It’s implied that Miyadera passed away from disease sometime before Killing Harmony takes place, which is both a good and bad thing. It’s great because then we have some time frame of how she was and how she acted when Shinguji knew her best.

Whenever I read the quote above, or any of her quotes, to be honest, I am filled with a sense of dread, or even, despair. The following quote especially makes me feel terrible; "Calm yourself, Korekiyo. You mustn't raise your voice. You mustn't stutter. You mustn't lose composure. You mustn't become flustered. You mustn't waver. Look at their horrid faces. This sorry lot is not worth agonizing over."

Have you noticed how she’s setting guidelines on how to defend himself? She’s turning Shinguji’s attention away from Saihara and the trial and to her because she knows that Shinguji trusts her even after all these years.

You might be wondering, “Milo, what the hell does that all have to do with Shinguji?” And I’ll tell you plain and simple: he was abused by Miyadera. Shocking, I know. Having Shinguji rave and rant about being in love with her, only to be a victim? Sadly, it’s very true indeed. Shinguji was most likely groomed and gaslighted into thinking that Miyadera loved him when that was not the case.

Gaslighting is defined as, “[to] manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.” From the two quotes I provided, it doesn’t seem to make sense. Miyadera only sounds like a kind, worrisome older sister. Incorrect, I say. She’s emotionally gaslighting him, trying to make him believe that the trial makes no sense and he shouldn’t worry about any of them. I can also bet she used this tactic to control him as a younger person as well.

It’s a well-known fact that children are both impressionable and gullible. If an older sister figure came up to you as a child and told you to do unmentionable things, unfortunately, you might follow her directions. Shinguji states that his sister was a sickly girl who often stayed in the hospital. When she would come home, he’d be at his easiest to manipulate. Why would his dear, sweet, sickly, older sister ever lie to him?

Next, I’m going to be covering his relationships with other students, namely Shuichi Saihara and Rantaro Amami. These will delve further into spoiler territory, so if you didn’t already read the warnings I put in place, here is your extra warning for spoilers for Chapter 3 of Killing Harmony.

To start with, I’ll be exploring his poorer relationships first. Most of the girls fit into this category, namely Iruma, Harukawa, Chabashira, and Yonaga - that means he has a terrible standing with four of the eight girls present at the beginning of Killing Harmony, five if you count Yumeno’s way of dealing with Chabashira’s murder. Shinguji even taunts her once they solve that mystery, stating, “Let me guess, you’ll never forgive me. Himiko, you must hate me so very much right now. Maybe you’d feel better if I was executed by Monokuma…”

Shinguji has a poor relationship with Iruma and Harukawa due to seeing them as “unfit” to be “friends” with Miyadera. He has a poor relationship with Chabashira because he’s a degenerate male, but he still thinks she made a good friend for his sister. His poor relationship with Yonaga is shown in Chapter 3 when Yonaga forms the student council. Once again, I’m making amends to some parts of the characters. I’ll be referring to Yonaga’s god as God, simply because Atua is an actual Polynesian god in real life. Shinguji doesn’t worship any god, and so wants to study Yonaga’s God purely for anthropologic purposes. This displeases Yonaga, who then states that God's business hours are closed for the day. In Chapter 3 when Yumeno brings up Yonaga’s God, he simply asks whether or not they’re done talking about it, cementing his distrust in faith.

Next, I’ll cover his better relationships. Akamatsu isn’t too terribly creeped out by him and instead sees Shinguji as a kind guy who cares about his sister. Akamatsu even apologizes for saying that Shinguji would be into inc*st, this event either taking place in his first or second Free Time event. I’m saving his and Saihara’s relationship for last since I’ll have the most to write about then. Instead, please enjoy the news that in the events of Ultimate Talent Development Plan (UTDP for typing purposes), Shinguji and Amami are actually great friends. In Amami’s first free time event, he tells Akamatsu that Korekiyo has a strong personality, but she’ll be able to understand him plenty if she takes time to. It’s also stated that Amami emphasizes that Shinguji is also the calm and clever type.

Lastly, I’ll be exploring his relationship with Saihara. It’s slightly rocky, if only because Shinguji hasn’t let go of his sister yet, but it’s miles better than his relationship with Chabashira. Slight side note before we begin, I’ll be discounting the Love Hotel scene mostly because I’m a minor and I don’t feel completely comfortable having to watch that simply because I’m writing an analysis. As the game progresses to Chapter 3, Shinguji and Saihara have built trust between themselves. While Saihara still found Shinguji creepy, he [Saihara] never discounted him simply for existing. There was even a point where Shinguji offered to help Saihara communicate with Akamatsu from beyond the grave, though he was turned down.

Korekiyo Shinguji is a misunderstood and somewhat tragic character who usually gets disregarded and uncredited all because people do not like him. However he’s not an “uwu soft twamatized bean <3” either. He’s a strong character who has questionable morals at best and a terrible representation of an abused character at worst.

~*~

thank you for readiing!! p1ease make sure to get a hea1thy amount of s1eep and that you do have a cup of water and some food, you deserve iit!!

sources:

- https://danganronpa.fandom.com/wiki/Korekiyo_Shinguji

- https://www.quotev.com/story/7873923/Danganronpa-Class-Trials/73 (siide note: how fucked up iis iit that ii was on1y ab1e to fiind a transcriiptiion of the triia1 on quotev)

#korekiyo shinguji #shinguji korekiyo #sister shinguji #miyadera shinguji #drv3 #ndrv3 #killing harmony #new danganronpa v3 #new danganronpa killing harmony #character analysis #korekiyo shinguji analysis

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quetzalaten · 3 years

Note

I seen an old post you reblogged that said something along the lines of "repost if you want to fight Micheal Scott" and you put in the tags that as an indigenous person there were multiple things you would fight him over. Would you mind expanding on that a bit? Was there a misrepresentation issue, racism, or something else? You don't have to of course, I was just curious what I had missed and how I could pick up on something like it in the future.

Thank you so much for the ask!

Sorry that it took so long to respond, I wanted to gather my thoughts and try to list all of my critiques of sinf from an Indigenous perspective in one post!

-ballad of black hawk and billy the kid: this book hasn't come out yet, but I already have serious concerns based on the description. having an indigenous medicine woman (or spiritual leader, or whatever ms means by "sorceress") being a villain who destroyed her whole people is not good, especially since it is colonial settlers who were most often the cause of indigenous genocide and switching that narrative erases the real life issues that actually caused indigenous death. It takes the blame away from white people and instead blames Indigenous people. Also, the term "anasazi" is itself racist. It means "ancient enemy" and is Navajo in origin. The actual Ancestral Puebloan people did not refer to themselves that way, and their descendants find the term offensive.

-we only see three indigenous deities in the series: Quetzalcoatl, Xolotl, and Coatlicue. All three are on the side of the Dark Elders. Again, Indigenous magic is shown to be bad, through the framing of these deities as villains. There isn't even any reason mythologically why this should be, as the Nahua people thought of these primarily as positive deities, not malevolent ones as they appear in sinf. As a side note, the term "Aztec" is also incorrect. The Indigenous people's whose religious beliefs include Quetzalcoatl, Xolotl, and Coatlicue refer to themselves as the Nahua people, and that is the correct term to use.

-black hawk, our only indigenous rep among the "good" immortals, fits the "noble savage" trope. He is an honourable warrior, who guides and assists a white character (billy) and is more of a sidekick to that character than his own person with motivations of his own. Think of the character of Tonto from The Lone Ranger, who also plays the role of a sidekick to a white main character. This issue could be easily remedied depending on how his characterization is in the short story when it comes out. Black Hawk is also never referred to by the actual tribe that he comes from, and this homogenization of Indigenous identities is harmful as well as it lumps us all together and denies us our individuality.

-the "white saviour" narrative of how billy became immortal. All that we know about this is that billy somehow saved quetzalcoatl's life at one point, and was given immortality as a reward. So we have an indigenous deity (who one would assume to be quite capable of defending himself) being saved by a white man.

-quetzalcoatl's description. Instead of trying to be faithful to Nahua religious beliefs, ms wrote q as resembling hernan cortes (beard, etc), which is a narrative that was perpetrated by the spanish invaders to justify their colonization and genocide of the Indigenous people's of mexico. I will give ms some credit though, at least he wrote that quetzalcoatl had copper skin, so he isn't completely white-washed.

-the fact that no one can pronounce the name Quetzalcoatl, or Black Hawk's real name (Ma-ka-tai-me-she-kia-kiak) and no one ever even tries to get it right. This is used as a joke in the books, but people have no trouble saying Machiavelli, Aoife, Scathach, or any of the other white characters' names. By making it seem like it is too much effort for the other characters to learn to say indigenous names correctly, it dehumanizes the indigenous characters by not even giving them the respect of being called by name.

-billys scrying bowl is indigenous in origin. The use of an indigenous artifact in the magical practices of a white man borderlines on cultural appropriation. Since it also comes from the same culture as the villain in the short story, there is a very unfortunate chance that Billy is going to take the bowl from her body or steal it from her in some way. This gives off "colonizer steals Indigenous artifacts" vibes (as my friend JK put it the other day), and I am not very happy about that.

-in the vampyres short story, it is said that Quetzalcoatl is an unknown deity nowadays, but that is just wrong. Quetzalcoatl is still an extremely important part of Mexican culture.

These are just the main points that I could think of. If I reread the books, I'm sure that I would find more points of critique. Also, I'm Mi'kmaq, so if there are any other Indigenous peoples in the fandom who want to add their own thoughts, feel free!

#book critique #indigenous critique #indigenous characters #sinf #secrets of the immortal nicholas flamel #asks

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let-patton-say-fuck · 3 years

Text

Hello and welcome

This post is going to be long and detailed, but here’s the gist:

I want to create a blog that will serve as a collection of Patton content in which he's portrayed as the extremely interesting character that he is. This includes angst, character studies, theories, discussions of gray morality, etc, etc. Also, I personally heavily identify with Patton, and whenever I see content of him being absolutely feral? Incredibly cathartic. I just think it’s neat. So, this is a blog for Patton content that presents him as more than the “innocent soft little puffball” he tends to be percieved as in the fandom. And, to be honest, more than anything I just want to inspire as many people as possible to join me in my #LetPattonSayFuck agenda. Let him do it. He deserves it.

None (or almost none) of the content on this blog is going to be mine. If you have content you want me to put on here, you can:

Tag me in it

Submit a post

Send me an ask

DM it to me

I will reblog the things people send me and try my best to organise them (more on that after the cut). You can send art, fanfiction, edits, rants, headcanons, memes, just related thoughts that come to your head, basically anything you want.

I will also sometimes reblog things to this blog just because I feel like they fit and I want to. If I reblogged something you created to this blog and you don't want that, please let me know, and I will delete it. Essentially, this is just a place for me to hoard (and navigate) any and all content about my favourite types of Patton characterisation. And you can join, if you want!!

And now onto the details:

About The Different Kinds Of Patton:

Different sides (ha) of Patton might be explored in the posts of this blog, so I think they will require some sort of classification. You can block or search certain tags based on your preferences.

The tags I will be using:

#let patton say fuck - any post where Patton swears (not necessarily “fuck”)

#feral patton - feral Patton. That’s it that’s the tag. Let my boy go feral. Whatever level of feral. From dying your hair at 4am to murder. Give me feral Patton

#angry patton

#patton angst - h u r t h i m (then help him pls. Not a requirement, just a personal request. Unhappy endings accepted but not without tears). This one will probably have a lot of subcategories

#flirty patton - I will be using this tag for any flirtatious actions from Patton, especially those that wouldn’t usually be seen as “typical” for him.

#suggestive patton - taking the previous tag a step further, this one is for any innuendos, sexual jokes/hints from Patton, whether in a flirty context or just for humour reasons.

#smart patton - any kinds of intelligence. Emotional intelligence, academic intelligence, strategic intelligence, musical intelligence, etc. Bring it on. If anyone wants me to make separate tags for different types of intelligence, please let me know exactly how you want me to do that, and I will, as soon as I can.

#BAMF patton - let him fuck shit up a little. As a treat

#mischief patton - Patton doing pranks, teasing someone, making fun of someone light-heartedly, messing with people. Sarcastic Patton. All that adorable devious shit. Gimme

#smug patton - smug bastard man,,,,,, sarcastic bastard man,,,,,,,,,, teasing bastard man,,,,,, (this one and the mischief one will probably overlap yeah)

#patton and morality - gray morality Patton. Being confused abt moral concepts because morality is hard, man. Patton being wrong, but learning. Patton making mistakes,,,,, I love him

#nsfw patton - I accept NSFW content, it will always be tagged. These posts will also be tagged with "#nsfw" and "#nsfs" (Not Safe For Sanders). This tag is for explicitly sexual things only. Sexual humour/innuendos/hints will all be in the "suggestive" tag. You can filter out one or both, if you want.

Once again, if anyone wants me to make a separate tag, I will.

About The Different Kinds Of Content:

As I’ve mentioned before, absolutely any form of content is accepted. Some tags that will help in looking for specific things:

#pat art - Some art,,, of the Pat,,,,,

#pat fanfic - More on ships later

#pat thoughts - any kinds of thoughts/rants. If you wanna share your ideas or just talk about Patton, this is probably how it will be tagged. Lemme know if you want me to change anything

#pat analysis

#pat theories

#pat hcs - any headcanons!! Ship headcanons!! Random headcanons!!! Vent “This is about Patton but I Am Patton” headcanons haha definitely know nothing about those!!! All headcanons are welcome

#pat memes - memes, shitposts, funny thoughts, incorrect quotes. Anything like that

#pat edits - Video, photo, audio, GIF. Once again, if anyone wants separate tags, I will add them.

Any other types of content will be given their own tags in the future, if they will be needed.

The tag for any asks is just "#asks". Anything related to this blog will be tagged "#blog stuff".

About Ships:

All ships will be given their own tags. More ships (poly ships, ships without Patton in them) will be added later as we go. For now here are the tags I will be using for Patton ships (tell me if anything needs to be changed):

#moceit

#logicality

#moxiety

#intruality

#royality

All characters will be tagged as “#ts *character name*”:

#ts logan

#ts janus

#ts roman

#ts virgil

#ts remus

If you don’t want to see certain characters or ships, please just filter the tags.

About Trigger Warnings:

If you ever need me to tag (or change) anything for any reason, please feel free to tell me, and I will do so as fast as I can and as thoroughly as I can.

Trigger warning tags are added to this post as content is being posted. Before posting anything, I will review it for potential triggers and update this post if needed. If anyone wants to add a tag for anything in advance - let me know, and I will do it.

So, let's start:

#pat discourse - any kind of argument against the way Patton is treated by the general fandom. While I think most people here would agree with those opinions, sometimes just the notion of an argument is distressing.

#tw cursing - I mean just in case

#tw murder mention - for references to murder with no details or visuals

#tw murder - discussion of murder with some details and/or visuals

#tw repression

#tw self-hatred

#tw anxiety attack

#tw threats

#tw alcohol

And finally!!!! This is a No Unsympathetic Patton Allowed zone. I guess it depends on how you would define "unsympathetic", but no content of Patton being abusive and/or anything similar to that will be posted, and please, please do not send it in. Please don't send Patton hate either, I won't post it, but it will hurt me quite a lot, please don't do that. If you don't like Patton, just go to another blog.

#tw arguing

#tw self-destructive behaviour

I'm sorry in advance if I ever forget to tag anything, please tell me right away so I can fix it! I don't really know how to run a blog, so I'm sorry if anything is wrong. I'm willing to try my best to keep this as organised as possible, since it's For A Good Cause. Thank you so much for visiting this blog, and I hope you enjoy it!!

#sanders sides #patton sanders #ts patton #let patton say fuck #tw cursing #long post #the length of this post (before the cut) is distressing me so ill look into what i can do abt that

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katierosefun · 3 years

Note

hi how are u : )

quick writing q, how did you come up with original characters? are they star wars characters or just like general?

i feel like i have ideas but like. struggle to make them into people. if that makes sense.

hiya!!! i’m good, hope you’re doing well!!! (and thank you for asking this question because,,,you should know i geeked out temporarily because someone’s asking me about original characters??? whooo boy!!!)

also...things got lengthy (again), so i added all this under the cut!

okay, so i have like one (1) star wars original character named eiko, who i introduced in time, wondrous time. introducing eiko took a while and it was a lot of me being super anxious and kind of lowkey scared because...star wars fans tend to be a little protective, and sometimes original characters aren’t that well-liked, especially because of that fear of “mary sue”-ness and etc.

so in the case of a star wars original character and to avoid the problems specific to and inherent to all the problems we run into with original characters in fanfic writing, i just kind of. make sure that she’s actually got some traits that! people can mostly relate to!

so for instance, eiko’s just a very anxious kid who wants to be a good padawan, but:

how do you be a good padawan anyways when there were already so many amazing jedi who walked the path before you?

how do you handle those expectations?

are you harder on yourself because of it? probably.

do you glow when given compliments? absolutely.

and i guess when making a star wars original character, or an original character in any pre-established fandom, then you really want to make sure that if they’re connected to a canon character in some way, the canon character gets a storyline of their own.

the canon character and the original character can rely on each other from time to time, but i think it would be kinda boring if the original character just followed around canon characters and never figured things out for themselves.

basically: we want your original character to have some independence away from the canon characters.

how do they act when they’re alone?

what do they do in their free time? those are things to think about when you’re trying to better grasp an original character in a pre-existing fandom.

but in terms of writing original original characters, i have this thing where like. i just take a singular personality trait that (usually) i have and dial it up to 100000. because, as one of my own friends likes to say, we contain multitudes. there are so many lives and so many different facets of you that are sometimes fighting for the spotlight--and sometimes, i like to give those different facets a little bit more of a voice in original characters.

because really, chances are, those little bits of you that are still hiding around the corners? those traits are sometimes more exemplified in other people. so, like, if that was confusing (which i know it was), a quick example:

i will be the first to admit that sometimes, i can be an incredibly rude person. (idk how much of a surprise that is to people. i hope it’s a bit of a surprise, because i don’t like to be rude.)

and of course, there are tons of very, very, very rude people in real life. the reason why i’m not rude 24/7 is because there’s a part of me that dials it down a quick notch. but there are people out there who don’t have that dial, and they’re able to exist relatively freely just being the rude people they are.

so that’s kinda where i start in making my characters feel a little more real/also a little more diverse in character!

because as one of my creative writing instructors once told me, writers tend to be a quiet bunch. and i think anything we write--including characters--tend to reflect huge parts of ourselves, so imagine if we just had a cast of quiet characters who twiddled their thumbs all the time. that’s not a good story, and those aren’t always very dynamic characters. so have fun! take one singular trait that you find intriguing about yourself or in in others and say to yourself, “okay, but what if i dialed it up?” see where it gets you!

but i guess if we want to talk more about how to make characters feel like more real people, then i guess it goes down to the age-old question all writers need to ask when looking at their characters:

what does your character want?

think about it. anything your character wants is what is ultimately going to drive them forward to do what they’re going to do. act the way they’re going to act, say what they’re going to say.

there’s a story that i wrote a while back about a girl who’s the daughter of an assassin. she wants to be a lawyer, while her mom wants her to follow the family business and become an assassin as well.

so how does the mom act? the mom does everything in her power to get her daughter to be excited about being an assassin--lets her in on interrogation rooms, takes her to a shooting range, gets increasingly frustrated and turns up the denial denial denial mode every time her daughter talks about the possibility of law school.

the daughter? the daughter does everything in her power to make sure her mom knows that she doesn’t want to be an assassin. she deliberately lounges around during the interrogation, she misses all the targets on the shooting range on purpose, etc.

so, in essence: your characters have to want something first. as soon as they want something, the rest will slowly come to place. even if you’ve never been an assassin or the relative of one, you still probably relate to at least the feeling of wanting something badly, and all people know that feeling too! it’s real, and it’s human to want something.

combine that want with, idk, the type of background you have for your characters (and there’s a ton of different resources on developing that specifically), and soon, you’ll find yourself writing/communicating/tearing your hair out with a much more fleshed-out character.

and, if you’ve done all these and you still want to know a little more about your character, another thing to flesh out original characters/stories:

1. write fanfic of them. no, seriously, do it. sometimes you can’t really write your big story/novel/whatever right away, but you have a very specific scene or you want to reimagine them in a different setting and just play around with them. that’s okay! what are they like in a modern day high school au? in a coffeeshop au? play around with it, and see what’s consistent (do they meet the same people in the same manner over and over again? do they like to listen to one specific kind of music? do they still talk funny? do they still wear x?)

2. make playlists! like...music is personally one of my big inspirations, so this is where i usually throw in some good old playlists. more times than not, i’m able to write with my original characters with my original character’s specific playlist playing in the background. (and it’s wonderful! i have one character playlist that’s almost solely musical/disney music because she’s a very innocent kind of gal, while another playlist is very heavy punk/rock because that’s Just How She Is.)

3. write incorrect quotes! you know the ones i’m talking about--there are so many incorrect quote blogs on tumblr. i have a separate, private sideblog here on tumblr that’s completely dedicated to writing incorrect quotes of my original characters. i sometimes post screenshots of them here too, although i haven’t done that in a while. but incorrect quotes are fun, and they might give you a good idea of the kind of characters/archetypes you want them to fit into!

(and, because i can’t resist, here’s an example from my own original characters:)

galen: andrea, i need you to swear to me--

andrea: shit

galen:

galen: i meant swear like promise, andrea //

rosalind: crushes are the worst

dae: yeah, whenever i’m near one, i just start acting nervous

rosalind: you’re always nervous

dae: ...don’t think too hard

myung, tired: bold of you to assume rosalind thinks

4. alternatively, make a whole private side blog dedicated to your original characters and reblog/tag the posts that remind you of them. like, you know the “[x] characters as tumblr posts”? yeah. i do that a lot. so, just because i really can’t resist, some more examples:

“Bro, We Are Rivals . Its Ok To Pin ME Up Against A Wall . Im Ur Nemesis . I Hate You . ... Bro, We Are Kissing Now . . No Dont Stop Bro .. Bro ... // @gayarsonist

oh so you’re just going to wear a black turtleneck?? like some kind of slut?? // @allergic-alien

and sometimes, i’ll use that blog to also reblog poetry that resonates with my original characters/gifsets of actors/actresses that i would fancast as my original characters. (like,,,did i look at ewan mcgregor in mortdecai and gratuitously tag him as a villain character in one of my wips? yeah. yeah, i did. it’s fun writing that villain character now, though. :))

and those are all the tips that i have!!! i hope that helps!!! have fun writing, friend!!

#answered #anon #maybe i should start a tag called writing tips?#adsdsf i dont feel qualified to give writing tips though #but #just in case #writing tips #(also wow caroline stop writing...esssays challenge)#(but also im super excited about this can you tell)

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starrynite7114 · 4 years

Text

things you never knew: three

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I kept writing and writing, and here we are with 5000 something words. The story is definitely starting a little slow, so many secrets and questions popping up, but I promise, things are going to pick up soon.

If you guys ever want to discuss the story, please feel free! I love questions! <3

I also added new characters on the characters post, please check it out!

Also, requests are still open if you would like to make a request!

Thank you all for the recent follows and likes, I really appreciate all the love!

TYNK: Characters one : two

Masterlist

Request list

tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @carlaangel86 : @marvelmaree : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @whyisgmora : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @briannab1234 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespasta : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life : @mheart27 : @claytoncardenasbabymama : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @robbosugdens : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle

If you would like to be added to this specific tag list or everything tag list, let me know! <3

Also, credit to original GIF creator!

“Please Theo, I just want to go home.” Ailee sobbed, as she held her stomach, on her knees, head against the concrete.

“You have no home.” Theo spat out venomously. “How can you be the best at Maquina if you’re going to long for home? Personal relationships exhibit weakness, they give your enemies a target.” He looked at the four men that surrounded Ailee. “Again.”

The four men approached Ailee one at a time, Ailee was able to defend herself, and take a few down. That was until there were multiple people who attacked her, then Ailee was back on her knees, holding her stomach once again. She coughed, blood coming out of her mouth, her whole body was aching.

“This is your home till I see fit, till you’re prepared to be the best in Maquina.” Theo stated. “Who do you want to go back to? Angel Reyes?” Theo chuckled, shaking his head. “He is a waste of space my darling sister, you have no future in Santo Padre with him. You have romanticized this life with the Reyes’, but let’s be honest, you don’t fit in that life. You belong to this world, to keep the balance of power as your uncle fondly tells you.” Theo scoffed. “We can take over the world Ailee, we can have the governments of this world pleading to have us on their side, to have us manufacturing weapons of mass destruction for them. Do you not want that for me? For me to be able to bring back honor to my family’s name?”

Ailee did want to help her older brother out, but this was insane. She wasn’t cut out of this, she didn’t want to be a monster.

“What did I tell you?”

Ailee remained mum, not saying anything to Theo. She didn’t want to be here. This was the last place she wanted to be. She was only supposed to be here for a few weeks, but when she arrived, Theo took her passport and her cell phone. She couldn’t even contact John and Vince and it frightened her, but she didn’t let it show. Theo pounced on fear, and she tried her best to not be afraid.

“What did I tell you?!” He yelled out, hitting her with the stick he held in his hand. She fell to the ground, her forearm holding her up as best as she could.

“Fear is a concept for the weak. You have to face your fears in order to become the best.” She repeated his mantra in a monotone voice, three months of pain and suffering sinking in. She terribly missed Angel. Her saving grace, her fucking Angel. Whenever she thought about killing herself, ending this miserable life, she thought of Angel. His stupid jokes. His stupid smile. His warmth. The way he would hold her whenever she had a hard day at the academy. The way he would tell her that everything was going to be okay when a thunderstorm frightened her. The way he would make silly faces at her while she was eating dinner with his family, her family.

She fucking missed him.

He was the light at the end of her tunnel.

If she focused on that, she could survive this fucking hell.

“I’ve done everything I can for you since we were children, Grace. I’ve always taken care of you, made sure you were okay, read you bedtime stories, it was all me. When you were here, you were free from the scrutiny and hardships your parents put you through. All I’m asking is for you to give this training your all, to beat John and Vince.” Theo squatted down in front of her, lifting her chin up. He slapped her, blood spurting out of her mouth. She couldn’t even cry, the tears only further aggravated him. “I’m doing this because I love you.” He took his phone out, a live-stream of Angel at the scrapyard was on his screen. “You don’t play by my rules and I’ll kill him. See, as I’ve said, personal relationships are a cause of weakness.”

Ailee felt her tears welling up again. She looked down, taking a deep breath. She stood up, and looked up at the four men before her. Theo saw the way her face hardened, smirking at the victory he achieved.

“Again.”

=============

Creeper watched Ailee as she unloaded her SUV. He heard the grand opening was in three days and he wanted to check on his younger cousin. He’s given her space since her release from jail, but like Angel said, she was an adult, she had to handle adult conversations. But somehow he knew that wasn’t the issue.

“Are you just going to stand there or are you at least going to help me?” Ailee’s question broke him out of his trance, giving her a sheepish smile.

“I got you.” He took off his gloves, picking up a box from her trunk. Walking inside, he was surprised to see a few people inside working, they looked at him, greeting him so uniformly it was creepy.

Ailee walked in behind him, raising an eyebrow as to why Creeper stopped.

“Creep, why the hell are you blocking the way?” Ailee questioned.

“Didn’t know where to bring it.” He turned to her.

“Counter.” She nodded her head forward.

They both placed the boxes on the counter and went back outside. Ailee sat at the trunk of her car, watching her cousin slightly pace in front of her. Creeper was her cousin from her father’s side. His mother was Jin and William’s half sister. She was the middle child in between them. They got on well and Creeper has been a part of her life since she was younger. Truth be told, he was one of the few members of her dad’s side she was fond of. He was a good dude and was loyal to a tee. He was always so kind to her. Whenever she would get in trouble with her parents, she would sneak over to his house which was just a house over and let him distract her with stupid shit he would do.

He also taught her how to box to release pent up aggression she had. Ailee was taught to keep her feelings to herself, to not show your emotions as it was a sign of weakness. Due to this, when she would become angry, frustrated, sad, whatever negative emotion, she was never truly able to show it. Instead of letting her brood, he would take her out, taking Angel along and letting her box. Sure, maybe him and Angel were punching bags along with other people at the gym, but Ailee needed it.

“How are you?” Creeper questioned.

“Good, just busy with setting up the shop. How are you?” Ailee began to slouch, and she immediately corrected her posture, feeling the smack of the stick one of her trainers used to carry around whenever she would slouch.

“Slouching is a sign of laziness, improper posture is not allowed for an agent of your caliber. Fix it, it will help you in life later on considering all the injuries you have sustained.”

Prim and proper, that’s how they were supposed to be. Always clean shaven, hair tied in a ponytail, no messiness. It was a dress code, which was comical to Ailee, but she figured there had to be a code somewhere.

“We have a run tomorrow. I just wanted to check on you. I know we’re far from forgiven, but you have to know that we tried to see you multiple times.”

Ailee’s eyebrows furrowed. She kept hearing that, they tried to see her yet it never happened. “I doubt that. Felipe saw me, so did Jin and Theo.”

“Theo? Your psycho half brother?”

Ailee nodded her head tensely, recalling how her brother visited her a few times and remembering how uncomfortable and irritating it was. He wasn’t allowed on American soil, yet, he risked it to see her. It was idiotic and there were so many times she wished he was caught. For some reason, he was always evading the authorities. He was only on their radar if he stepped foot on US soil, he technically didn’t have a warrant on him since he hasn’t done anything to catch people’s attention. Selling weapons to lowly Eastern European countries didn’t really alarm government officials. Who didn’t sell weapons to militant groups? When he starts having bigger clients then that’s when the problem arises. But with him seemingly using a rebel group too close to the border, that’s when things changed. Rebel groups against the cartel were unpredictable, their loyalty was fluid, much like the governing governments of the world. If you fit their purpose, then they were loyal to you.

“Yes, and before you ask, I don’t know how he got to American soil, he just did.” Ailee shrugged. “Look, I think we can all just move on, whether or not you attempted to visit me or not, it’s no longer my concern. I’ll stand clear from you all and you stand clear from me.”

“You know we can’t do that, Angel wouldn’t agree to that.” Creeper knew how much Angel was itching to confront Ailee. From what he heard, he already did and he met her boyfriend, Alexander. He was almost sure that information was incorrect and Angel was just being dramatic. Any man around Ailee was not accepted by Angel.

“Well tough shit, Angel doesn’t really have a choice does he?” Ailee scoffed. “It’s my only request primo, please respect it.” She knew this was an awful request, but she could keep tabs on the Mayans without actually being involved with them. There was too much history and hurt to actually work with them. Ailee wasn’t willing to face that demon, facing that would cause things to resurface she long buried.

“Angel isn’t going to give up on you. It’s been five years, that’s enough time to get past grievances.” Creeper knew it wasn’t but Ailee blocked them off, how could she be angry at that?

“Let me ask you something, if you took the fall for the MC and they never visited you, would you welcome them with open arms?”

“Of course, there must have been a reason why they didn’t and we did try to visit you, you shut us down.”

“I didn’t have a ‘no-visit’ list. If those other people were able to visit me, then how were you not able to do so?”

“I don’t know Lee! You fucking tell me!” Creeper was frustrated. It was like going around in circles with Ailee. “We tried, we really did, but you made it very apparent that you didn’t want to speak to us.”

“Look, there’s no point in arguing about things. Like I’ve said, let's all move on.”

“Lee, you were never this heartless. I get it, you’re upset because you feel like we’ve abandoned you, but I can guarantee you we didn’t. We’re family.” Creeper knew Ailee could hold a grudge, but this was different. She couldn’t hold this against them all.

“Family is such a strange concept. One abandoned me and the other uses me as a weapon to serve a purpose that is a joke to be honest.” Ailee scoffed. “Look, again, my stance is quite firm. Let’s all be cordial, but otherwise, I want nothing to do with any of you.”

Before Creeper could reply, a voice interrupted them.

“Heads up.”

He looked to where the voice came from and it was Alex, Ailee’s childhood friend. What surprised him was the little girl, five years old at most running towards Ailee. He watched as Ailee jumped out of the car and opened her arms for the young girl.

“Baby!” Ailee kissed her cheek, lifting her up. “This is Tio Creeper, this is my daughter, Melody.”

Creeper tried his best for his mouth not to drop open, the shock of being introduced to Ailee’s daughter shook him. The little girl looked just like Ailee, but she didn’t have Ailee’s hazel eyes, she had brown eyes, much like Angel. He couldn’t believe this, Ailee couldn’t have had a child while she was in jail. Money talked, he knew that, but he doubted that Ailee would have a kid with Alexander while she was in jail.

Nothing was making sense.

He noticed the hearing aid then, eyeing Melody curiously. “She can hear?”

“Yes, of course she can. She’s just more comfortable with signing still because she thinks her voice is weird.” Ailee kissed the implant on her baby’s forehead. “She’s fine. Baby, come on, say hello, Tio Creeper would love to hear your voice.”

“Hello,” Creeper did note that her voice didn’t sound normal, but she was adorable. She hid her face at the crook of Ailee’s neck.

Creeper noticed Alexander appear behind Ailee, the little girl reaching for him.

“I got you babe,” he picked her up, kissing Ailee at the top of her head. “Creep, nice to see you.”

“You too man, didn’t know you were allowed outside of Europe.” He knew the business the Leon’s had. Regardless of their real estate venture, cocaine still made their world go around.

“Helps to be attached to this one.” He nodded his head towards Ailee. “I’ll leave you two.”

“It’s fine, Creeper was just leaving.”

“Does Angel know you have a daughter?” Creeper knew those brown eyes anywhere, he’s been brothers with the man for years and known him before that due to Ailee.

“Why would he need to know?” Ailee gave him a look, but he could tell that she wasn’t comfortable, that being back in Santo Padre was biting her on the ass.

No one could hide anything in Santo Padre, especially not from the Mayans.

“Well for one, that kid looks like Angel.”

“She isn’t Angel’s kid, she’s my kid.” Ailee countered. “Why does she have to be Angel’s kid if she’s my kid?”

“So she isn’t your actual kid?” Creeper was beyond confused. He had a hunch that Ailee was never inside, it was all but confirmed for him. Jin would never have let Ailee remain in jail. Hell, her brothers would have never let her remain in jail. How could he be so naive to think they would do so? He knew Ailee was upset, but there was no way she would have them in a ‘no-visit’ list.

“That’s none of your business. She’s my child. There are plenty of people with brown eyes primo, stay away, this is your only warning.” Ailee took her child inside, Alexander following after her.

He had to do some digging, but he was going to need some help. Taking his phone out from inside his kute, he dialed the number that he knew could help him.

“You busy?”

Melody looked nothing like Alex. She was Angel’s kid and he was going to get to the bottom of this.

=============

Olivia walked out of her apartment, frowning when she saw Kevin across the street. She unlocked her car and watched as Kevin walked over to her.

“EZ hasn’t been answering my calls.” Kevin informed her.

“And this concerns me why?”

“Don’t be difficult Liv, he needs to check in with me, you know this.” Kevin sighed. “I’m still trying to figure out how you managed to get this deal for him.”

“I know people.” Olivia shrugged. Kevin was such a lowly agent, he could never know of the existence of Maquina. Hell, only high ranking officers knew of their existence and even then, it was a hand selected few who knew of their existence. A shadow organization that helped the balance of power in various regions of the world.

“You must know high ranking people.” Kevin always tried to pry on what Olivia did for a living. He knew she headed an IT department for some company, but Olivia always kept him within arms length. Much like EZ, he’s known Olivia too yet, she was very hesitant to be alone with him. “Who do you know?”

“Doesn’t matter Kevin, if you nail Galindo, it’s beneficial for your career and keeps EZ away from jail.” She placed her things inside her car, turning to face Kevin. “I don’t see why there is a need for you to know who my connections are.”

“What happens to EZ when he serves his purpose?”

“Whatever he wants.” Olivia didn’t understand his question. EZ could do whatever he wants. “He could just tell the MC that this wasn’t the life for him and go from there.”

“You’re not worried he’s going to go back to Emily?” Kevin knew that Olivia had feelings for EZ. Only EZ didn’t seem to know she had feelings for him.

“That’s none of my concern. EZ is a big boy, he can do whatever he pleases.” Olivia slammed the door to the back passenger.

“After everything you’ve done for him, don’t you want him to at least return the favor?”

“Kevin, I didn’t do this so EZ could pay me back. He’s my best friend, I’m glad I was able to,” she sighed. “I want to help him. He can get his second chance in life, he’s far too brilliant to rot in prison.”

“Just tell him to call me.”

“Sure will.”

She watched as Kevin made his way back to his vehicle. She slid in her car, locking it immediately out of habit. She’s had a few close calls and would rather be safe.

Olivia wasn’t going to lie. She wondered if EZ would go back to Emily once Miguel was in jail. He most likely would.

His first love.

Love of his life.

Olivia chuckled, shaking her head. She gave those hopes long ago. She deserved better than waiting for someone who would never see her.

“Once this is done, you should come back to Spain.” She recalled Jin telling her. “Your talent is wasting away in Santo Padre. Ezekiel will be safe and can start over, you’ve given up so much for Ezekiel. It’s time to move on.”

Jin was right. It was time for Olivia to move on. She deserved a happy ending as well.

And maybe it was with Nathan, Alexander’s younger brother.

Olivia parked behind Carniceria Reyes, turning her car off and sliding out. She wanted to stop by before she spent the rest of her day at the coffee shop.

She knew EZ would be there.

And like she predicted, he was there with his father.

“Mija, you’re here.” Felipe fondly greeted her.

“Hey pops.” Felipe refused to acknowledge her whenever she called him Mr. Reyes. He said they were family and she agreed. Her real family was basically non-existent. The family that she recognized

“Hey Liv,” EZ greeted Olivia, giving her a quick hug.

“Kevin came to see me.”

EZ frowned. “Why?”

“You’ve been ignoring him, he wanted you to call him.”

Before EZ could reply, he heard a motorcycle making its way down. He watched as Angel stopped in front of the Carniceria.

“I’m going to tell Kevin to stop approaching you.” EZ didn’t feel comfortable involving Olivia in this whole ordeal. He told Kevin time and time again that his point of contact with him would be his father, not Oliva. He knew of the crush that Kevin harbored for Olivia ever since they were children, but Olivia was off-limits, Kevin knew that, he made sure of it.

“EZ, it’s fine, he just wanted to make sure things were okay.”

“Let me rephrase that, I don’t want him talking to you. He’s putting you in danger.”

“Be reasonable, he’s hardly doing that.” Olivia wanted to tell him that her life was always on the line. That whenever she went to Europe, it might have been the last time she would see EZ when she visited him. Sure, she wasn’t a field agent, but the work she did for Maquina was immensely valuable. Taking her out of the picture would greatly blind Maquina.

Felipe had to hold back a chuckle as he saw how bent over Ezekiel was about Kevin approaching Olivia. Whenever they would have family parties and Olivia attended, Kevin was always far away since Ezekiel did not like how much Kevin tried to impress her. Olivia never seemed to mind Kevin’s presence, which further irritated Ezekiel.

“He’s staying away from you, that’s that.” EZ walked out to meet with Angel.

Olivia looked at Felipe and sighed. “I’ll just go and say hi to Angel.” She walked out, Angel whistling as she did.

“Knew there was a reason God wanted me to come to the carniceria.” Their flirty banter was always fun, but Olivia knew it was nothing, hell it was nothing to her and everyone knew who Angel belonged to.

“Shut up Angel.” EZ put on his helmet.

Olivia laughed. “Keep your brother safe.”

“Yes mom,” Angel winked at her. “You know I got him.”

“You coming to give me a hug?” EZ opened his arms.

Olivia shook her head and hugged him. She loved hugging EZ. It always brought her comfort when she was young and there was no difference now. When she first picked him up from prison, it was such a satisfying feeling. She hugged him tightly and he ended up sleeping over her place that night, catching him up on all the pop culture things that she could do in one night. Ever since then, EZ slept over often and they would just watch endless television shows.

Currently they were watching Stranger Things, almost caught up with the series.

“Be safe.” She kissed his cheek.

“Of course, we have to finish Stranger Things.” He smirked.

She watched as the two brothers drove away. Looking across the street, she saw Alexander outside, shaking his head. The smirk on his face made her chuckle. Alexander was the older brother she never wanted, but she was truly glad to have him in her life. Crossing the street, she made her way towards Alexander, shaking her head.

“Knew you couldn’t stay away.”

“You know me, wherever she goes, I go.” Alexander shrugged. “Nathaniel will be disappointed to know you’re around Ezekiel again.”

“Nathaniel isn’t my boyfriend and even if he always understood my relationship with EZ.” Olivia walked in the cafe, a smile immediately spreading across her face. “Melly!” She fondly called out to Melody,

Melody turned around, smiling as her eyes landed on Auntie Olivia. She ran up to her and Olivia caught her, lifting her up in her arms. “Look at you, you’re so big now.” She kissed her cheek. “Mommy is going to be so much nicer now cause you’re here.”

“Haha,” Ailee shook her head. “Liv, did you get the tickets for the Safari Park?”

“Yes, I emailed them to Sierra last night.” Olivia was pretty sure she did, especially since Ailee wouldn’t stop bothering her about it.

“Sierra did get it and I emailed it to both of these difficult people.” Sierra Ayala, Alexander’s assistant and right hand woman replied as she walked towards them. “If you two actually checked your emails, this wouldn’t be an issue.”

“You’re the best Sierra.” Ailee bowed to her. “We’re all going right?”

“Yes, I figured it would be nice to give everyone a break.” Olivia placed Melody back on the ground. “We can get an AirBNB there and enjoy a few days off after the opening?”

“Sure, that sounds like a plan.” Alexander agreed. “Sierra, mind booking it for us?”

“It’s what you pay me for.” Sierra teased. “Would you mind if I skip out? I have friends and family in Los Angeles I would like to visit.”

“Sierra, why didn’t you say so? Alexander can handle his vices for the next week. Take the time off, spend time with family.” Ailee suggested. “I can have one of the trainees tend to Alex’s needs.”

Sierra looked apprehensive with Ailee’s suggestion. She’s been on vacation before, but the longest she had been away from Alex was about a week and half before she came back. She was antsy. Alexander was an adult and could handle himself, but she also knew how disorganized Alex was, how terrible he was at checking his calendar. Even though she got a temp while she was gone, she knew how unbearable Alex could be.

“I see that look, I’ll be fine.” Alex promised her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I know I seem helpless, but I promise I’m not. How much trouble can I get with going to the zoo?”

Ailee, Olivia and Sierra gave Alexander a look. Alexander rolled his eyes and took Melody. “Come on Melly, we’re not appreciated here.” He walked away, leaving the three women laughing.

“Is everything in place for Alexander to take over or is Nathaniel and Victor making noise?” Ailee questioned Sierra as they all took a seat around the table.

Sierra placed a tablet in front of Ailee. “Nathaniel doesn’t care much for the illegal side of the business, he however wants to manage the real estate side. Victor, well, you know he has his own business.”

“Matchmaking is hardly a business.” Olivia chuckled.

“It’s working for him.” Sierra shrugged. “Alexander is poised to take over, but Nathaniel switches his mind every once in a while. Though, it doesn’t seem that their father would hand the business to Nate anyway.”

“Why, Nate is competent enough.” Olivia had a soft spot for Nate. He was her first boyfriend, the man who made her see a life away from EZ, but they broke up a year ago since Olivia didn’t want to make the move to Spain as he had been requesting.

“Nate also acts on impulse and is not very business minded. He doesn’t think of the long run and thinks of the short run.” Ailee knew that handing Nate the business wouldn’t benefit the Leon’s especially since he wanted to break ties with Maquina, believing they were limiting their potential. “And he wouldn’t keep the relationship with Maquina, which, you know, to each their own.”

“He thinks that they would be fine without Maquina’s protection.” Sierra confirmed Ailee’s words.

“Without our protection, they would be indicted.” Olivia frowned. She knew Nate always just thought that everything was so simple and Olivia couldn’t blame him. Everything was handed to him, whatever he wanted, his parents gave to him. He thought that they were untouchable, that this deal was for Maquina’s benefit, but that was hardly ever the case.

Maquina swept in before a government agency could indict a certain crime organization, offer them immunity and the ability to continue their operations with no government interference, as long as they remained the most powerful organization in their area, keeping the balance of power and unabling any other organization to take over. It seemed simple, but it was complex.

It didn’t always work out.

There were eastern european countries that had too many players in the game to truly fully control it, but Maquina had some strongholds in Poland and Romania. Otherwise, every other country was still free for all.

Maquina’s purpose was so fluid. On one hand they were used to assassinate government officials to install a new power. Then other times, they were implanted to empower rebel groups to overthrow out of control regimes. There truly was no black and white in this world, it was whoever benefited who.

But the Leon’s had a stronghold in West Germany, Spain, and Italy for the last thirty years. With Alexander taking over, they expected for it to continue, even if they were trying to become legit, which was a hoax.

No one ever went “legit”. Illegal work was always so much more beneficial.

=============

Creeper parked his motorcycle under the shaded area of the yard, right beside his Hank’s motorcycle. His eyes landed on Vince, as he ate chips atop the picnic table. He knew that Vince was in town as well, which was never a good thing. Two Maquina agents in one place was far too many. It meant that they were implementing a program here, which meant that something or someone has piqued their interest.

“Creep, this is a sudden phone call.” Vince finished off his chips, crumpling it and making it in the trashcan a few feet away from the picnic table.

“Something isn’t adding up.” Creeper didn’t want to beat around the bush. Ailee was his younger cousin that he always protected. It killed him to not be able to see her while she faced this jail sentence. He didn’t know how to help her and all he wanted to do was just that.

“Numbers wise? I don’t do book keeping, you know this.” Vince knew why Creeper called him over. Maybe he was laying devil’s advocate, but he didn’t give a fuck. It was time the Mayans found out what was going on. He was never onboard about keeping them in the dark about Ailee, especially not Angel.

“Your sister seems haunted.”

“She was in jail for five years.”

“You know what I mean, that’s not jail.” Creeper sat beside Vince. “Come on, we were all close once. It killed me knowing she was in there. She was the little sister I never had. Be truthful with me, you know you could trust me.”

Vince sighed. He retrieved the folder he was sitting on, handing it over to Creeper. “All the information you want, you need, is in that folder. John and I figured that it would be best for us to be as honest as possible.” John thought it was best to set up life for Ailee after Maquina. Once they took care of Theo, both brothers wanted her away from Maquina. What better place to stay than her safe haven?

“She has a kid?” Creeper questioned.

“Melody is here?” Vince was surprised that his niece was in town, but he figured Alex brought her along. Melody only could be apart from her mother for so long.

“Is she Angel’s?”

“No, Ailee adopted her from an orphanage in Europe.” Vince explained. He understood Creeper’s confusion, the kid did look like a mixture of Ailee and Angel. But as far as he knew, the kid was adopted. Ailee brought Melody home one day, explaining she was from an orphanage in Spain. “Not Reyes’ kid.”

Creeper eyed him, but ultimately chose to move on.

“Your sister wasn’t in jail was she?”

“I’ll be back with John later tonight, might want to share that with your brethren.” Vince got off the table, making his way over to his car.

“We have a run later.”

“Tomorrow then.”

“Vince, why is Maquina setting shop in Santo Padre?”

Vince chuckled. “Why else would we set up shop? There’s a threat that has to be controlled.”

“Galindo?”

“We have bigger cartel’s to worry about before we worry about the Galindo cartel.”

“Who is it?”

“We don’t know yet, but we’ll keep you all updated.” Vince unlocked his car.

Creeper watched as Vince’s car disappeared, sighing. He opened the folder and his hunched was confirmed. Ailee’s release date stated December 14, 2014. Closing the folder, he made his way inside the clubhouse.

“She was never in jail.” Creeper threw the folder down at the table where Angel, Bishop and Taza were sitting.

“The fuck you mean?” Angel questioned.

“Vince dropped off all those records right now. You guys saw him.” Creeper sat beside Angel. “She was in jail for that initial two weeks, but otherwise, no other fucking records.”

“That’s fucking impossible.” Bishop had to play charade. He knew Ailee wasn’t in jail, he didn’t make a deal with her uncle for no reason. “Your father saw her.”

“That was during her first two weeks.” Angel looked at the records and she was booked in the jail, her release date was what fucked him up. “It says her release date was December 14, 2014.”

“Exactly. Ailee was arrested around Thanksgiving when we had that run to Vegas. She was released two weeks later.” Creeper knew something was off. Ailee didn’t even look like she had a hair touched on her head. She looked hardened as if she was in jail, but it wasn’t for survival.

“Jin most likely bailed her out, using his connections.” Creeper, Taza, Hank and Bishop knew what Maquina was, the rest of the members didn’t, not even Angel. They knew that Jin was a powerful man, but they just had their guesses as to why he was so powerful. Creeper knew of Maquina, the details, not as much, but he knew not to fuck with them. They could make anyone disappear. One call, and it was done.

“She made a deal.” Angel looked through the paperwork in front of him. It was her release forms. “Jin bailed her out, this is his signature.”

“Well if she made a deal, what could it possibly be?”

It dawned on Angel that whatever business Ailee’s family was involved in, it wasn’t exactly safe. He remembered when they were younger, how Ailee was always in physical activities that involved fighting. Her parents were very adamant that she learned how to defend herself, get good grades and not interact with many people. She was always in her books, books that kids her age at that time shouldn’t be reading. Angel always thought that her parents were strict and rarely let their kids have any fun. Ailee was a very affectionate child, but she was always rejected by her parents. The only time she could enjoy any affection or praise were from his own parents. It was weird how his parents seemed to understand Ailee’s hardship along with her brothers.

Ailee always said that she didn’t want to get in the family business, it cost your soul, she had told him. But it seemed like that’s what happened.

“It’s her soul. She exchanged her soul for freedom.”

#angel reyes #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fic #angel reyes fanfic #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fic #mayans mc fanfic #tynk

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Brick Club 1.5.13 “Solution of Some Questions of The Municipal Police”

Oh man. This one got long.

The spectacle continues. Fantine and Javert do not walk to the precinct alone; they’re followed by all the jeering spectators that were watching the fight. They are still yelling, laughing, genuinely finding amusement in Fantine’s humiliation. Fantine has returned to the mechanical lack of self she had before the fight. In the course of this chapter we’ll see her continuously oscillate between outbursts of presence and self-assertive distress, and moments of frightened distance and emotional shut-down.

“Curiosity is gluttony. To see is to devour.” Hugo keeps reiterating this. One of the worst things, aside from being an actual antagonist, aside from being an actual actor in the ruin of a person, is to be a bystander, a rubbernecker. There are no innocent bystanders, and by standing there, watching, finding glee and entertainment in the suffering of others, you are part of the problem. Curiosity is good, when it’s curiosity in pursuit of a solution or an answer in order to help someone. Curiosity is bad when the interest is purely voyeuristic. (I want to know why Hugo decided to use “to see” (voir) rather than “to watch” (regarder) in this sentence.)

Hugo’s discussion of the relationship between sex workers and cops is so sharp. The police have complete control over what happens to sex workers, who they choose to let go and who they bring in, how they are punished and for how long. I imagine, in cases that don’t include Javert, there’s a lot of “I won’t detain you if you sleep with me etc” type behavior from other cops. (Perhaps this is why Javert is so scary; he can’t be bribed or convinced and doesn’t use his status as leverage like that.) The police can “confiscate at will those two sad things they call their industry and their liberty.” This line just gets to me. The only thing people as poor as Fantine feel they have left is their way of making a living, and their freedom to be alive. Everything is else is on loan or in debt. And the cops can take those last two things at any moment. Not only that, but their industry and their liberty are both intrinsically connected to their bodies. Their industry isn’t something they can leave at the end of the day; they are always existing within the body that is also the main component of their livelihood.

I don’t know enough about legal proceedings of the era, but Javert is judge and jury here, condemning Fantine all by himself to six months in prison. On the other hand, Valjean (and Champmathieu) must go to court at Arras in order to be sentenced. Is this Hugo doing his Artistic Liberties handwavy thing, or could this have actually been done? It seems odd that some people could be sentenced by a random policeman and others have to go to court in front of a jury.

“It was one of those moments in which he exercised without restraint, but with all the scruples of a strict conscience, his formidable discretionary power.” Javert is extremely aware of his role in all of this. What’s fascinating to me about Javert is that he isn’t going around convicting people willy nilly, randomly making up crimes and things to fit a quota the way cops do in present day. With Fantine (and later, with Valjean, and even with the Thenardiers) he sits and he considers and he thinks about what he’s witnessed until he’s sure he’s seen a crime. The problem is, his morals and opinions are so rigid and unchanging that he could probably find crime almost anywhere, because he’s completely inflexible about what things are good or bad. Also, this arrest of Fantine is apparently a “great” (grande, as in big) thing, which I find interesting. Prostitution is essentially legal, so perhaps for him it’s a big thing because he finally has a reason to arrest someone whose legal profession he morally disagrees with? Or perhaps Fantine isn’t registered while most others are? Or maybe it’s big because it’s not just an arrest of a sex worker, but of a sex worker who has committed violence against a well-to-do gentleman? I don’t know.

“He was conducting a trial.” Nearly every time Hugo uses this phrase, when an individual character is conducting a trial of someone or something else, the resulting judgement is incorrect or too extreme. This happened with Valjean’s trial against religion, Javert is doing it here and will do it again at the end of the novel, Marius sort of does it to Valjean after the wedding. Each time a person’s worth is judged by a single person, the judgement falls short.

Fantine is terrified of prison, but part of her fear isn’t prison itself, but the wages. She’s more worried about the welfare of Cosette than herself. This makes sense to me. To her, prison itself probably doesn’t feel like it would be too much more miserable than her current state. The only increase in her misery would be her worry for Cosette and her inability to pay for her daughter’s care.

“Without getting to her feet, she dragged herself along the floor, dirtied by the muddy feet of all these men, clasping her hands, on her knees.” What an intense image. This is the condition of poor women: forced to beg for mercy from men who have power over them, while crawling through all the problems caused by those men’s uncaring and manipulative actions, dirtied by the utter lack of assistance from anyone with the actual power to help, and scoffed at when they clasp their hands and kiss the coattails of their oppressors.

Fantine’s monologue to Javert makes me so sad because she goes back and forth between “I did nothing wrong” and “maybe I was wrong to react the way I did,” when her reaction was so completely right. She asks, “Do they have the right to throw snow down our backs when we are going along quietly without harming anybody?” and I feel as though, in Javert’s eyes, they kind of do, because he disapproves of her profession in the first place. Fantine also brings up her illness here and in her other monologues, never as an excuse or even as an attempt to elicit pity, simply as an explanation. She also says “I wasn’t immodest with him, I didn’t speak with him. That was when he put the snow on me.” She literally tells Javert that she wasn’t trying to engage with Bamatabois in any way, that she was completely ignoring him even as he tried to incite her. The last chapter doesn’t mention how long he was mocking her for, only that her pacing brought her back to his spot “every five minutes,” which means he must have been out there harassing her for quite some time before he shoved snow down her back and she snapped. And yet, here she talks herself in a circle, suddenly turning around and saying “Perhaps I was wrong to get mad.” It’s just so sad that she’s completely in the right and yet she doubts even that.

And Javert doesn’t hear a word of her explanation or her pleas. She realizes this, and instead tries to use Cosette. But this isn’t her using Cosette to save herself, this is using Cosette to save Cosette. She realizes that if she goes to prison she won’t be able to pay for Cosette. She tries to use her “poor starved child,” tries to ask for pity for Cosette. If Javert won’t pity her, a sex worker, maybe he’ll pity her as the mother of a little girl. But considering Javert’s childhood, he probably sees Cosette as equally as bad as her mother, because she’s the child of a prostitute, born out of wedlock, living in poverty with some random innkeepers two hundred miles away.

“I’m not a bad woman at heart. It’s not laziness and greed that have brought me to this; I’ve drunk brandy but it was from misery.” God, this line. I don’t even know who would think something like greed or laziness (but especially greed) could bring someone into this line of work. Maybe if she was, like, a well-known professional sex worker in a Paris brothel she could make good money, but as a random woman walking the streets in a garrisoned town? She clearly makes practically nothing. And poverty like this isn’t lazy at all. Every second not spent sleeping is spent trying to make money, worrying about being able to pay rent or debts or to find food or some way to keep warm or whatever. I hate that even today people still think poverty comes from laziness.

“Great grief is a divine and terrible thing that transfigures the wretched. At that instant Fantine had again become beautiful.” I don’t really know what to do with this line. It feels like a weird fetishization of poverty and suffering?

“She would have softened a heart of granite; but you cannot soften a heart of wood.” Why can’t you soften a heart of wood? Because wood only rots when it gets soft. I do find it interesting that Hugo calls Javert’s heart wooden, but uses statue imagery for him for the rest of the chapter.

Javert declaring that "The Eternal Father in person couldn’t help you now” is a heavy line. The law is above even god here. If god appeared right now and told him to free Fantine, Javert is saying he wouldn’t do it. A page later we see him reluctantly stand down to Valjean, which negates this statement, but it’s interesting that at this instant, he says wouldn’t even be moved to mercy by god. And it’s true, he’s not moved to mercy, ever. At no point is it ever his decision to let Fantine go. He does not bow to pleas for mercy, but he will bow to authority, even if he questioned it a moment before.

Valjean enters without being noticed and watches the exchange. I feel like this is a weird reversal of Hugo’s “to see is to devour” from earlier in the chapter. Valjean is watching, but not out of voyeuristic curiosity. He intends to actually act, to do something about what has happened and help someone who needs help.

Throughout the last few chapters, Fantine has grown rougher with each loss. Her speech and personality has changed, she drinks, she is louder, less polite, and more childish. She’s lost her “modesty” and with that any pretense. There’s no more masking. She’s not trying to fit in, because that’s not happening anymore.

Somehow I’ve glossed over this line each time I’ve read the book, but when Fantine spits in Madeleine’s face, Hugo seems to imply that it reminds Javert of his suspicions re: Madeleine’s true identity. Javert sees this action and makes the connection between convict-Valjean and Fantine, and instead of seeing the sacrilege of a prostitute spitting on a mayor, for a moment he sees an interaction between two outlaws of society: a convict and a prostitute.

I’ve noticed that Fantine talks to herself in reaction to being freed in the same way that Valjean talked to himself when Myriel was first kind to him/when the bishop told the gendarmes to set him free, and the same way Eponine talks to herself. There’s a marked difference between moments when characters “talk to themselves” but it’s obvious that it’s a narrative mechanic of them thinking in their heads, and when they actually talk to themselves while other people are present. For Fantine and Valjean, it’s in moments when they are in great emotional shock/distress that they speak aloud to themselves while other people are present. (I’m not sure what to make of that in terms of Eponine, who always seems to be speaking mostly to herself.)

Fantine starts out this monologue talking to herself, but then she turns it into talking to Javert. It’s interesting that her utter rejection of Valjean means that she’s actually turning to Javert to speak, despite being absolutely terrified of him only moments ago.

Fantine announces that she’s not afraid of Valjean. Of course she’s not; in her eyes he’s done everything to her that he can. He has caused all her suffering and doesn’t have the power to cause anything more. She’s still afraid of Javert because he still has the power to hurt and ruin her. He can fine her or send her to prison, and condemn her for as long as he likes. She doesn’t know anything about Valjean, except that she assumes he doesn’t care. What she knows about Javert is that he does care, only that care is on the side of punishment, not one of mercy. It’s interesting then that she continues to try and appeal to his better nature (one which he does not possess) or to his pity (which he also does not possess). She also continues to try and convince herself that it is Javert who has decided to let her go, not Madeleine. It’s almost as though she thinks that if she can convince herself that he’s the one letting her go, she can also convince him to actually do it.

Fantine’s monologues keep coming back to wages. She specifically criticizes the way that the prison contractors do wrong to poor people by paying them so little for so much labor. Her discussion of her own expenses is also still applicable to modern day. She still owes money to the Thenardiers, but she’s up to date on her rent. This is still the experience of the poor: you deal with more immediate expenses first, and debts come second, even as they continue to rack up.

Both Fantine and Javert are thrown off balance by Madeleine’s declaration. Fantine spends her entire monologue before attempting to leave trying convince herself that it is Javert that has let her go. It is only when she hears Madeleine confirm that he was the one who declared it that she is thrown off-kilter, having to reconcile her opinion of Madeleine with his (perceived) actions. Javert is thrown by someone in an authority position acting the way that Madeleine is; this is the first time we see him actually question authority and refuse to act on an order.

“...that order, law, morality, government, society itself, were personified in him, Javert?” This is the only time, I think, where Hugo implies that a character is consciously becoming a Symbol. The fact that Hugo even suggests the potential for Javert to see himself as the embodiment of law, morality, society, etc is unique, because no other character sees themselves as the embodiment of such big concepts. The closest might be Valjean seeing himself as a Bad Person Forever, but even that is a much smaller concept, in that Valjean is looking at his past self, not at himself as the entire concept of Criminals Everywhere. But Hugo only gives two choices when it comes to Javert: either he is questioning authority for the first time in his life, or he is consciously becoming a Symbol. It turns out to be the former, but both of these things are really extremely significant.To become a conscious symbol, or even to have the potential of becoming a conscious symbol, is a unique level of conceptual engagement for a character, almost like starting to break the fourth wall. And questioning authority is a First for Javert here, significant because it starts the ball rolling and he continues to question Madeleine’s authority from here on out, even if it’s only to himself and not to his face.

“The insult does not belong to him, but to justice.” Okay so Hapgood translates this line a little differently, but WOW I love this FMA version a lot. Just the idea that something as small as an insult doesn’t even get to belong to the person it was directed at, but instead can be entirely claimed by the law. Now, I know that this line is supposed to mean that Fantine’s insult to Madeleine was by default also an insult to justice due to Madeleine’s authority position, but I always read it as the law taking this insult for its own use. Like, “This societal outcast insulted someone, so now we can arrest her, because any sort of social indiscretion from someone like that belongs to the law” or “this insult, because it was made in the presence of police by someone in custody, now belongs to the law rather than her or her target.” (It also reminds me of modern day cops, who arrest or threaten to arrest people simply for hurting their little baby feelings despite doing nothing illegal.)

Fantine goes through a parallel struggle to Valjean here. The man she hated so much (Madeleine) was her savior, just as the religion Valjean doubted and hated had been his. I mean, literally they have the same “two paths, one of light and one of darkness” symbolism, the same angel/demon symbolism, the same conflict about whether or not they must change their whole soul and beliefs, the same absolute terror, and then the final feeling of hope and gratitude. She kneels in front of Valjean the same way Valjean knelt in front of Myriel’s door.

This is also the first time we see Valjean’s benevolence in speech, action, and monetary terms. He rescued Fauchelevent, but we don’t seem him speak to Fauchelevent after that despite the purchase of his horse and cart and getting him a new job. We never see him speak to anyone else that he helps, especially since his usual mode is Reverse Robbery (thank you Mellow for that term btw) rather than in-person benevolence. But we do get him not only rescuing Fantine from prison, but speaking to her, offering her monetary help, offering her pretty much any assistance towards happiness. I wonder if the difference between Valjean’s interaction here with Fantine, and his interaction with Fauchelevent or any other person he gives money to or helps, is that this is the first instance that he feels guilty or personally responsible. Every other act of charity, including Fauchelevent is just that, selfless charity just because. But this, Fantine, is Valjean righting a wrong that has been done. Even though it was without his knowledge, he still seems to feel responsible.

Once again, we have a moment of hope for Fantine that is immediately dashed. Fantine is free, she’s going to get her daughter back, she can leave her miserable life for something better, her debts will be paid, she can be happy. Only she faints, and she spends the rest of her time in hospital until her death.

#les miserables #les miserables meta #brickclub #lm 1.5.13 #les mis #les mis meta

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