#also i just finished the two towers and i just

[alastor-simp]

“I Won’t Ever Be Scared Of You” - Alastor x Female Reader

❥Summary: Alastor transforms into his demon form to defend the hotel. He promised himself he would never reveal that side of himself to you, but what happens when you do see it?

❥Tags: Sequel, Alastor x Fem Reader, Unafraid Reader, Alastor Demon Form, Hazbin Hotel Episode 5, Dad Beat Dad Episode, Mimzy, Lucifer Morningstar, Confessions, Friends to Lovers.

❥Notes: This is the sequel to a previous story I had written "I See No Fear In Your Eyes." I really wanted to do a bit of a continuation on how the story ended, so I conjured this up. This also takes placed during episode 5 (Dad Beat Dad) of Hazbin Hotel. Hope you all like it. Enjoy:)

Sequel to this fanfic I wrote - Link

"LETS GO EVERYONE!!! WE GOTTA MAKE THIS PLACE PERFECT FOR WHEN MY DAD GETS HERE!!" Charlies voice rang out in the lobby, as everyone scattered about, preparing for when the king of hell arrived. Husk and Niffty started to sweep up while Sir Pentious helped to bake cookies for everyone and Lucifer. You decided to help string up some welcoming decorations around the higher part of the wall, as well as place a "Welcome" sign for the king to see when he arrived. You had never met Charlies dad before, sparking your curiosity on what he was like.

Your thoughts were cut off by loud static surrounding you, making you turn to see Alastor next to you, eyes monitoring the door with a strong hatred, demonic symbols floating above him. What's up with him? Finishing what you were doing, you walked closer to Al and gave him a bit of a poke on his side. His eyes quickly flashed towards you in anger, until he realized it was only you, which calmed him down. Ever since the confession you had at his radio tower about why you didn't fear him, your relationship with him had grown. His mannerisms were still the same, but he had adopted a softer, sweeter demeanor when he was around you, even allowing you to touch him on certain accusations. You still hadn't figured what to call this relationship you now had with Al. Affectionate friends or very close partners? It wasn't romantic per say, but it still left you a bit confused. "Oh, Hello my dear! Something troubling you?" Alastor tilted his head at you, eyes growing soft at the sight of you. "I should be asking you that. Whats with the sudden power surge? Are you angry about something?" Alastor froze for a moment, hands grasping at his microphone a bit tightly before turning to gaze back at the door. "No." Alastor said it quickly, but you can tell he wasn't being truthful. "Do you dislike Lucifer?" You asked him with a tilt of your head, copying him. Alastor remained silent before he gave a loud sigh. "I'm not very fond of him, my dear. He is the ruler of hell, with tremendous power, and yet he hides himself away and refuses to accept his responsibilities."

His eyes had turned into radio dials, for a split second before calming down, yet his smile was widen enough to reveal his black gums. Giving a sigh, you motioned to grab one of Alastor's hands that was still holding his microphone tightly, giving it a soft squeeze, causing Al to look at you with confusion. "Look, this is important to Charlie, and she needs to ask her dad for help with heaven. I'm not telling you to all of a sudden change your view on him, but please try to behave a bit. Just for today, please?" Alastor's eyes continued to stare at you, before he closed them and opened them again with softness. He could never refuse those kind eyes of yours. "Alright, my dear. Its a deal!" He said, jokingly, making you laugh. "Thanks Al." You gave his hand, another squeeze before letting it go, going back to setting up.

Fast forwarding to now, you watched as both Alastor and Lucifer were having a "I'm the better dad" song battle for Charlie. Welp, you tried. You knew Al had tried his best, but after a couple insults between the two, the deal you had with him completely broke, honestly it was shocking to hear Alastor say "F✪✪k you" since he has almost never swore ever, since he arrived at the hotel. The song fight continued on, until it was interrupted by a short chubby demon, who came badgering inside the hotel. She quickly introduced herself as Mimzy, one of Alastor close friends, and also being a singer at a club she ran. She started chatting with everyone at the hotel, indulging herself in the liquor that was at the bar, it was surprising how much she could drink. You noticed that some of the liquor supply was getting low, so you thought it would be best to get some more, since everything had calmed down a bit. You had pulled Charlie to the side, letting her know that you were going out for a bit to get some more alcohol for the bar, which she nodded at, giving you a thumbs up before she run back over to chat with her dad. Grabbing your wallet, you ventured out the hotel, looking back to see the others listening to Mimzy chatting about before you went outside and shut the door.

*Few Hours Later*

"MIMZY!! WE KNOW YOUR IN THERE, YOU LOUSY BIT✪✪!". A voice rang out as a loud bang was heard from the other side of the hotel doors, causing the hotel to shake. A group of loan sharks had arrived at the hotel, heavily armed with weapons and attempting to break down the hotel doors with a battering ram. The residents of the hotel began to panic as large fireballs were crashing through the windows, nearly hitting them and causing large shards of glass to scatter everywhere. Vaggie had quickly grabbed her spear, ready to fight the loan sharks, until a hand was place on her weapon, causing her to lower it. "No, my dear, leave it to me. It's time I remind everyone why I am h̨̭̹̠̍̚e̷͑ͥr͉͢͝ȩ̬̤̺̇ͮ̕."

The air inside the hotel began to change, as the static started to get louder. Alastors eyes had turned demonic and a green aura began to cover the whole hotel. Dark tendrils had materialized from Alastors back, allowing him to levitate into the air. "A reminder to all, ŇØŦ ŦØ Μ€ŞŞ ŴƗŦĦ ŦĦ€ ŘΔĐƗØ Đ€ΜØŇ!" Belting out an evil cackle, the tendrils had bursted out of the hotel, destroying the catapult, and crushing the loan sharks into bloody puddles. Growing into a monstrous height, Alastor emerged out of the hotel doors, horns growing in size as well as his eyes turning into radio dials and multiple tentacles protruding from his back; "Ɨ ŴƗŁŁ Đ€VØỮŘ €ΔĆĦ ΔŇĐ €V€Ř¥ ØŇ€ Ø₣ ¥ØỮ!

*Alastor POV*

"Oh how much I have missed this!" Alastor thought to himself, as he massacred the loan sharks that were scattered outside the hotel, running for their lives to escape his deadly clutches. It was futile, as no one comes into the radio demons territory and gets away with it. Scanning his eyes for more prey, he held one of the poor souls in his hand before dropping him in his jaws. "Hmm not quite as tasty as venison, but who could resist fresh sushi!" Alastor thought, as he cackled away, his tentacles continued to tear apart the loan sharks to pieces, organs and blood scattering the ground. The screams soon stopped and the only sound that could be heard was overwhelming static and monstrous growls, as glowing bright eyes scanned all over, making sure all of the annoying pests were disposed of. "Al?" a soft voice had come from below him, making him freeze in shock. Turning around in his gigantic form, his eyes casted down, spotting you, gazing up at him with wide eyes, mouth opened into a perfect O shape.

"Oh no! Oh no no no no no! She wasn't meant to see this! She wasn't meant to see this grotesque part of me!" His thoughts were scattering, feeling fear for the first time. Alastor remembered when he promised himself that he would never have you see his true demonic form, fearing that once you saw how he looked, the eyes that you gave him that held no fear, would be no more. A sinner as sweet as you, who confessed to him about everything that you admired about him to his face, shouldn't have to see this. Alastor didn't know what to do and quickly turned away from you, ashamed at himself, until he heard a "Wow!" from behind him

*Your POV*

"WOAHHH HE'S SO TALL!" Your mind was racing with many thoughts, as you walked closer to Al, putting the bag of alcohol bottles down on the ground. "Holy crap, you got very big. Can you hear me from up there Al?" You raised your voice up a bit louder, figuring Al couldn't hear you since he was almost the size of the hotel now. Alastor slowly turned back around, with his radio dial eyes still present, but they looked at you with slight concern. Alastor had bent down a bit, trying to get closer to you, but keeping a good distance as he worried it would startle you. "Đ؀ޅ.ĐØ€Ş ŦĦƗŞ ŞƗĐ€ Ø₣ Μ€ ŇØŦ ₣ŘƗǤĦŦҀР¥ØỮ, Μ¥ Đ€ΔŘ? His voice was booming, possible due to being in his demonic form, but it was softer then when he was munching on the loan sharks. Gazing up at Al with confusion, you asked him why would you be frightened. Alastor had closed his eyes, turning his head to face away from you; "Ɨ ΜΔĐ€ Δ ƤŘØΜƗŞ€ ŦØ Μ¥Ş€Ł₣ ŦĦΔŦ ¥ØỮ Ŵ€Ř€ ŦØ Ň€V€Ř Ş€€ ŦĦƗŞ ŞƗĐ€ Ø₣ Μ€"

Narrowing your eyes at him , you let out a huff, before walking closer to him. "Pick me up." Alastor turned back around in shock, not expecting you to say that. After some hesitation, Alastor placed one of his large hands down in front of you, allowing you to step on to it. Holding on to one of his large fingers, you allowed him to hoist you up, becoming eye level now. Once you were eye to eye with him, you crooked your finger at him, telling him to move closer. Alastor hesitated again before moving his head closer towards you, his forehead and eyes being extremely close to you. Reaching one of your hands up, you placed it on his forehead, before moving closer and pressing a soft kiss on it. Alastor eyes had widen at your actions, but he didn't move from his position, as you continued to pepper kisses on his forehead. Removing your lips, you nuzzled your forehead against his, "Alastor, I told you before that I would never grow to fear you. Whatever form you take, I will never be afraid of you." Stepping back, you gazed into his bright eyes, lips drew into a soft smile.

Crimson dial eyes remained locked on you, as they slowly closed. A chuckle was heard from Al, as he shook his head from side to side, before moving closer to you, placing his forehead back against yours softly. "Darling, what a wonder you are." His voice had returned to normal, no ounce of static etched in it. The two of you remained in that position, before Alastor had pulled away, bright eyes peering at you with admiration. "As much as I love this form of yours, it would be better if you shrunk back down, especially since you won't be able to fit through the doors." You said with a laugh, earning you a loud booming laugh from Alastor, as his whole being shook, having to hold on to his fingers to steady yourself. "I suppose your right." Alastor said, as he slowly brought his hand back to the ground, allowing you to jump off his hand.

Your eyes continued to gaze at him, as his body slowly began to shrink, eyes returning back to normal slits, and large tentacles disappearing from his back. He was soon back to his old self, rubbing parts of his suit to be rid of any dirt or grime. His joker-like smile was still trained on you, but it was full of tenderness, as he look down at you. "There he is, the handsome devilish radio demon is back!" Smiling brightly at him, you placed your hand against his cheek, giving it a soft rub. Alastor gave you a genuine smile, grabbing your hand from his cheek and placing a soft kiss on to it. Releasing your hand, his arms had wrapped around your back, pulling you into a soft hug, his head moving closer to your neck, giving it a nuzzle, making you giggle at the ticklish sensation. The sweet moment was interrupted by the sound of clapping behind the both of you. Looking ahead, you saw Mimzy approaching, a bit of a smirk on her face. "Oh Alastor! What a fantastic show! Bravo! As always. Thanks for helpin' lil' old me out of a tough spot, you're always such a pal!" Her dialogue got cut off, as some debris from the hotel fell next to her, making her jump a bit in shock. Appearing unapologetic, she looked back at the two of you, "Oops. Heheheh… sorry about the mess, but I'm sure the lil' bug can take care of it for ya."

Alastor had loosened the hug, turning all the way around, but not before hooking his arm with yours, keeping you close to him. His smile was still stretched out as always, but his eyes held irritation. "I think you should go, Mimzy. Now." He said towards Mimzy, stunning her for a bit. "Oh pff, Alastor, you're such a kidder, you! Haha, you are so funny!" She flicked her hand at him, not taking him seriously, but you knew that expression he wore, he was not in a joking mood, his eyes lacking mischief. "I mean it. You deliberately brought danger to this place just to have me clean up your mess. I can't have that here." He had pulled you a bit closer, as he continued to talk with Mimzy, clearly telling her to f✪✪k off. She apparently did not take the hint, as she continue to ramble on, "But you love takin' care a' me! What? You don't actually give a shit about this tacky place, do ya? Come on. I know you. you heartless son of a bi✪✪h~" Her finger continued to poke at his chest, causing him to let out a small growl.

Grabbing her finger from his chest, you pushed it off him, glaring down at her. "I believe he told you to leave." Mimzy did not appreciate you touching her and scoffed at you. "And who the hell are you dollface?" Wow, she even forgot who you were, and she literally just met you a few hours ago, when she barged in. "I'm the one who knows and sees the real Alastor, and doesn't try to exploit him to get out of sticky situations." Alastor eyes had widen at your words, a bit shocked at this fiery side of yours. Mimzy had backed up a bit, not expecting that: "Well I-" "Did I stutter? Leave!" Your words had cut her off, as you continued to glare down at her. Huffing while stomping her feet, she walked past the both of you: "Well fine! Who needs ya!" She continued to stomp away, not before flipping the both of you off.

You continued to glare at her when she walked away, before you got distracted by the sound of static-filled laugther next to you. "My my~ Who knew you were such a firecracker, my dear." Al had unhooked his arm from yours, but he wrapped it around your back pulling you closer. You gazed up at Al, who was smirking down at you, making you flush a bit. "You weren't meant to see that, I'm sorry." Your head dropped down in shame, until a hand had hooked your chin, motioning your head to look back up at him. "I quite like it, ma chérie. Just as you love the many sides of me, I very much enjoy this feisty side of you." His finger had traced your bottom lip, his crimson eyes filled with a strong desire as well as adoration. Inching closer, his lips had placed itself against your redden cheek, causing your heart to skip a beat. Pulling back, his smile was gentle, before he stood back to his regular height, his hand moving from your back to one of your open palms, interlocking your fingers. "Come along, my dear. We better head back inside!" He pulled you along, having you walk next to him, as you made your way back towards the hotel. He had snapped his fingers, using his powers to have the bag of liquor levitate behind the both of you. His hand was so warm. You gave his hand a gentle squeeze, which he reciprocated back as you both went back inside to join the others.

-END-

Sinners:

@alastorsgoldie @91062854-ka , @delectableworm , @iiotic

@cookiekyo , @demoarah , @danveration , @beebsbea ,

@veethewriter , @forbidden-sunlight , @pinkcrystal44 , @luujjvi ,

@unholycheesesnack , @saturnhas82moons , @jyoongim ,

@aceofcards0-0 , @ghostdoodlen , @yourdoorisunlocked ,

@starshipcookie , @ainsliemac , @aria-tempest , @nobuharashinyao

, @sweet06tart , @blakedbeanss , @ihyperfixatedagain , @ktssstuff ,

@yakultt-art , @mooniee123 , @nightmarenaya , @darischerry ,

@sadnessiscoldtea , @alastorssimp , @imacollasaltitan ,

@dilucragnvindr-my-beloved , @batmanmonstarr , @felice-jaganshi ,

@justchillaine , @crazed-flower , @ohmylovewhereartthou-blog ,

@akiooshizuka , @lokis-imaginary-friend ,

@themysteriousslenderman , @huntlowfan , @futureittomainn ,

@christinaatyourservice92 , , @just-trash-yeah-thats-it ,

@angelinevalentine89 , @yunimimii , @staryosh1 ,

@mihawksdemoness , @crystalreads , @blahblahbruhmeow ,

@madam-strawberryrose , @inkslayer , @azazel-nyx , @lixanjewel ,

@artemisandhunters , @thereeallink , @ask-theradio-demon ,

@lousypotatoes @l4zyb0n35 , @midorichoco

@lillyisfreakyy , @alastorthirsty , @yukiinee ,

@daydream-the-demon , @cosmiccoralz @aconstructofamind

@pumppkinlynn @erikaafernns , @silverpaw2 ,

@cosmiccandydreamer , @killer-nightmare0 , @visara-valentina

@thereallsaturnstar , @coffee-or-hot-cocoa ,

@fckedupandbeautiful ,

[koji-haru]

Time Travel AU Part: 14

Michael had been spending a lot more time in the garden. His visits had become a daily occurrence where he would spend hours with the first man before returning to Heaven at the end of the day. Adam didn’t really mind having the angel around. While he didn’t enjoy having to hide who he truly was whenever the angel was there, having someone to talk to and could reply back was something he welcomed. After having spent more time and actually getting to know the angel, Michael was not what Adam had expected. He was sure the guy was just doing his job of looking after the garden, but the daily visits, the small gifts here and there, and just coming by to ‘spend time’ with him… In Adam’s previous life, he never really talked to the angel. Not because they hated each other, it was more like Adam thought they just would never get along so he never bothered to know the guy. Adam was loud, Michael kept to himself; Adam liked to push Heaven’s boundaries, Michael was a stickler for the rules; Adam liked his parties, Michael was barely seen outside of work. In short, they seemed to be polar opposites. And yet, here they were playing board games as if they were best buddies. 

“But then maybe it’s because of the act I put on,” Adam mused as he waited for Michael to finish his turn. His eyes trailed the angel’s hand as Michael moved a piece across the checkered board and took out his bishop. Another piece he lost. The game wasn’t looking too good for Adam.

“I was wondering,” Adam started, cheek resting on his palm. “Doesn’t Heaven require a lot of your time?”

Michael looked up from the board, his focus broken by Adam’s sudden question. “Oh. Well, I’m quite efficient so I have some spare time,” he replied as he placed the fallen bishop piece on the grass on his side of the board. 

Adam simply hummed in response. Heaven was pretty demanding, but since this was at the start of time, he supposed the workload hadn’t arrived and piled up yet. He shifted his attention back to the game in front of him. The number of pieces he had were dwindling. Only a few pawns remained, two knights, a tower, his queen and, of course, the king. He pondered about putting a few pieces at risk, maybe even sacrificing some of them, just so he could get rid of Michael’s queen piece. Risky, but it could turn the tide. After giving it some more thought, Adam decided his next move. His hand reluctantly placed a knight in line of sight of Michael’s tower piece. 

Hands hovered above the board, pieces moved across closer to victory or sacrificed and taken out, and then after a while, a checkmate to end the game. Adam eyed the board in front of him, he just lost the game. With a defeated sigh, he plopped down onto the soft grass on his back, his head dull and heavy from having to think of his moves and counter moves against Michael. 

“Adam?,” Michael asked, a hint of concern in his voice. “Are you alright?”

“No,” replied Adam. “You’ve vanquished me and destroyed my kingdom. How can I be alright?” He dramatically waved his hand in the air before letting them back down onto the grass with a soft flump. He turned to his side and met Amora’s board gaze staring back at him. “You’ll avenge me, won't you girl?”

The jaguar simply snorted in response as she turned her head away from the first man. 

“Well, you’ve only been getting, so I also had to improve myself to keep up,” Michael chuckled with fondness at Adam’s dramatics. With a snap of his fingers, the wooden board and its pieces vanished in a poof of silver smoke. “By the way,” Michael continued as he inched a little nervously closer to the human, who was still lying flat on the grass. “I remembered you said you’d like the instrument you made, the guitar I think it was, to somehow be made of metals.” He placed a hand on his nape and looked a little sheepishly in a random direction. “I still have some time to spare, so if you want, I can help you with that…”

As if a freezing bucket of water was splashed on him, Adam immediately sat up, his golden eyes sparkling brighter than any star in the sky, an excited childish smile on his lips as he grasped Michael’s hand in astonishment. “Really?!”

The angel’s face became tinted with yellow as warmth rushed to his cheeks at the humans' sudden close proximity. He looked down at his hand encaged between Adam’s soft warm hands, stupefied by the sensations he was feeling. “Uh, uhm, yes?” He cleared his throat, “I mean, yes. If you’d like to.”

Without a second thought, Adam kept a hand held onto Michael’s hand as he dragged the angel towards a specific direction.

The two arrived in a large cave in a corner of the garden. The dark cave glistened and sparkled with various colours as the little light that entered the cave reflected off of the numerous gems and metals that coated the cave’s walls, like distant stars on an expanding night sky. 

“You know, I could have just made the materials you wanted,” Michael commented as he watched Adam examine some colourful rocks with intense scrutiny. 

“Nono, I’d like it to be made from Eden,” Adam answered, his focus still on the ores as he carefully looked for gold. 

Not really understanding what the human was looking for, Michael moved beside Adam trying to follow what his eyes were looking for. “Okay, so what should I look for?”

Adam held up a small rock in front of Michael. It was jagged simple grey rock if not for the spots of gold scattered all across the rock. “Something like this, except we’re going to need way waaay more. My guitar is going to be perfect!,” Adam excitedly replied, his own eyes sparkling brighter than any of the precious stones and metals in the massive cave. 

Michael took the small ore from Adam’s hand, turning it over in his hand as he carefully examined it. The angel thought it was oddly specific; of all the materials Adam could’ve chosen, like it was something he had been wanting for a while now. He looked up again to see Adam already looking for more of that gold speckled rock, his excitement radiating off of him as it bounced off the walls of the cave, infecting even Michael myself. A satisfied feeling warmed his entire being, knowing he was the reason for the first man’s current happiness. Of all the precious materials he could choose from this cave, he would choose this without a second thought. 

The two spent time looking for gold and silver ores. Occasionally, Adam would take out some ores from the container that Michael had picked, or stop the angel from picking it in the first place. “Nono, that’s pyrite not gold,” Adam corrected. He would put a gold ore beside a chalcopyrite ore and try to highlight the difference between the two, while Michael would try to spot the differences but clearly have some difficulty with it. 

“I don’t know how you can tell immediately,” Michael remarked, still holding the two different ores.

“I just can,” Adam shrugged as he put another ore into the container. “There. That should be enough.” He wiped some sweat off his forehead. The hard part was done. Now, it was time for some magic. 

“We won’t use the entire rock?,” inquired Michael.

“No, I just need your help to extract and shape these,” Adam pointed into the coloured specks on the grey rocks. 

With a simple wave of the angel’s hand, the precious metals embedded on the rocks flowed out like liquid through the air as he meticulously shaped them according to his human companion’s wishes. A body consisting mainly of gold, lined with silver at the bottom; a silver neck, and a golden headstock shaped like a lyre. It was a beautiful design, unlike anything Michael had seen before. A heavenly item made from the garden of Eden. 

As soon as it was finished, the golden guitar floated down into the hands of its new owner. Adam gasped in awe when he felt the cool metal hit his skin. Its smooth shiny surface, the intricate carvings, the sound it emitted when he strummed the strings. It was exactly just like his old guitar when he was an angel. It even had that faint heavenly glow! His hands shook from the sheer joy and excitement of having his guitar back.

“Do you want to try play some music with it?,” Michael suggested, his smile warm from the bubbling happiness from inside him. 

Adam shifted the guitar in his arms until it felt right and comfortable, just like back then. His fingers brushed over the strings, strumming it lightly, before he played an alluring melody that echoed faintly within the cave, giving it an otherworldly tone. 

“This song’s for you Michael. As thanks for helping me make this guitar.”

—-

Adam dragged his feet back towards his favourite tree where Amora laid waiting. The sun had set a few minutes ago, the sky had turned from a pinkish orange to purple-blue with the stars blinking one by one as they awoke from their day-long slumber. The day had been long, but eventful and fulfilling. He placed the golden guitar carefully on the ground before allowing himself to slump down beside Amora, her spotted fur always a soft thing to hug against. 

He let out a deep satisfied sigh as he released Amora from his hug and turned to lay on his back. More stars had started to show on the darkening night sky, the moon slowly inching its way to the highest point of the night. 

“You know, I didn’t think Michael would be that nice,” he told the jaguar. “Waaay nicer and better than that snake Lucifer. Definitely the cooler brother.” He sat up and held the new guitar up to show Amora. “Look! He even made me this guitar! Isn’t it cool?”

Amora simply gave the guitar a bored stare before lying her head back down on the soft grass. 

“You’re so mean sometimes you know,” huffed Adam as he let exhaustion drag him back down towards the grass. 

The sky tonight was absent of any clouds, never-ending a dark blue canvas that expanded beyond the eye could see, speckled with white shining glitter all over it, and a bright round moon that commanded silent attention from all. The night’s cool breeze glided over his skin, taking away the excess warmth from his day activities, the stillness of the dark, a lullaby that encouraged his eyes to close and for his body to rest. 

Adam let out a yawn, sleep was calling to him. “Honestly, I’m glad to have someone like Michael as a friend.”

A loud, almost mocking, snort stopped the first man from falling into sleep. He turned his head to face the disapproving look of the jaguar. “There you go again. What’s with that look?,” asked Adam, completely bewildered by Amora’s recent behaviour. “You used to be much sweeter…”

And because she’s an animal, Amora couldn’t talk the way Adam did. So, she communicated what she meant by moving closer to the human and draping her large paw over him almost like a suffocating embrace. 

“Wha– Hey!,” cried out Adam, his voice slightly muffled by the fluff that was suddenly on him. 

Despite his struggles, Amora easily kept Adam still beneath her paw and began to lick his head, like a mother grooming her precious child who still knew nothing about the things around him.

Part 13

Part 15

[dangermousie]

Ok, so far here are the cdramas rumored for the fall that I have any interest in, from most to least:

Kill Me Love Me (November) - you’ve seen those positively unhinged trailers, and both Wu Jinyan and Liu Xueyi look to be on fire (plus on a purely shallow front, few other actors do it for me the way they do.)

Snowy Night Timeless Love (October) - the rumor for this airing came out of nowhere so who knows but a tragic wuxia romance and my faves Li Qin and Zeng Shunxi and the trailer is stunning. Plus it’s based on a novel by the author of Listening Snow Tower and I loved that one.

The Story of Pearl Girl (October) - this barely misses to the previous two in terms of anticipation and only does so because the narrative of “underdog FL rises to prominence through commence” has been done a lot lately and often done in a way that doesn’t truly satisfy me. But the trailer is great, I adore Zhao Lusi, and the fact that this reunites her with Liu Yuning (and this time he looks even hotter!) is AAAAA!

Reborn (October) - a modern! It’s not the end of the world, I promise. The trailer looked intense and angsty not like the usual fluffy moderns I can’t stand and I am a big fan of Zhang Jingyi now.

Guardians of the Dafeng (November) - this one is high risk but potentially high reward. Best case scenario? They pull off another Joy of Life - funny and ahistorical but also dark and smart and moving. I think the chances of that are slim - Wang Hedi, though I will always have a soft spot for him because of CLJ, is no Zhang Ruoyun, plus JoL is a miracle that was almost impossible to replicate unless you get the same brilliant combo of perfect writing, directing and acting. But what if….

The Rise of Ning (October) - if this was rumored before I finished LYF2 or Are You the One dropped, I’d be way more excited. By the end AYTO finished, I was getting irritated just seeing Zhang Wanyi’s face anywhere. (Yes there is such a thing as too much exposure esp when that exposure is in stuff that raises my blood pressure.) Srill I did like the trailer back before all this mess and this has the advantage of FL being played by Ren Min who I adore and not WCR who I cannot stand. And ZWY is a decent actor in the abstract if I can manage not to think about his past roles and his overexposure. So here is hoping.

Brocade Odyssey (??? Fall) - I had little interest in this (I genuinely have no interest in dramas centering on cloth industries esp when they must be bland enough to be allowed to air on TV) and that was before that utterly snooze worthy MV they dropped and one of the secondaries getting into a pimp/tax scandal which apparently resulted in them cutting him as much as they could which means the story will be even more of a mess than it was likely to be otherwise. I might check this out out of trainwreck syndrome but I expect nothing.

Echo of Her Voice (Sept 22) - if there was ever a drama trailer designed to make me hurl, this was it. Add in the fact that the ML actor seems to have a knack for being in dramas that never work for me and the fact that it’s set in (haha really) “school” - no thank you!

[nekohime19]

Heart behind the lie # 20 : Past pain

Therapy session doesn't go well

Sun Wukong was standing outside, frozen in front of the pig's restaurant. He stared at the neon sign made to attract the passerby, tail flickering behind him, the limb overtaken by nervous twitches that shook his entire body. He was hidden in his hoodie’s shadows, fist thrown haphazardly in his pockets, lips bitten by his own fangs. He didn't have much time, with each second that ticked by the time to meet at Sandy's for another therapy session approached. 

The sage wasn't one to wander in the city. The bustling streets and the towering buildings weren't things he was fond of, he prefered the simplicity of his mountain, monkeys were creatures of nature after all. But he has to talk with his mentee about his scheming with the little Bull and the dragon girl. He tried to breach the subject the past week, but MK had been frustratingly hard to catch. Each time the King tried to initiate the talk, MK would leave, not able to stay because of “others matters”. Even by phone, the boy was still elusive, not answering texts, and declining invitations to hang out. 

Sun Wukong wanted to approach the situation with delicacy, he didn't want to blame MK for anything, nor made him uncomfortable. He wanted to ease his mentee into the talk. But with each failure, the sage's restlessness grew, worry gnawing at his bones each time he closed his eyes. Without the comforting presence of his lil lady, he would have barged in the kid's house to demand answers long ago. He recently discovered she looked like a loaf, sometimes, when she was sleeping. It was adorable enough to clear his mind, and not let worry overwhelm him. 

Sun Wukong took a deep breath, tasting the morning chilly winds, and opened the restaurant's door. If MK wasn't coming to him, he would come to MK. He was greeted by the pig and the scholar, both already around the kitchen countertop. The King awkwardly cleared his throat to catch their attention and asked, in a quiet whisper : 

“Is MK here?”

The pig looked at him up and down, as if checking if he was really standing there, before answering with a sharp “no”. Sun Wukong hid his disappointment and awkwardly shuffled on the ball of his feet. 

“oh…well I better go then. It was nice to see you both.” Chuckled the sage, but before he could leave the pig put a bowl on the countertop and nodded at him. “I don't have any money?”

“On the house.” Huffed the chef with crossed arms. 

“What!? Pigsy, you never did that for me!”cried Tang as Wukong took place beside him. 

“Thank you.” Mumbled the sage as he dived in the noodle, tail wagging each time he swallowed one bite of the dish. 

“Look, we never really got to talk. But I wanted to thank ya, for being there for the kid and all.” Sighed Pigsy, face softening the second he mentioned the kid. 

“Oh, no, I'm just doing my job.” Carefully replied the King, he let silence embrace them for a moment, thinking deeply about his next words, and added : “Also, sorry about the whole samadhi thing.”

Pigsy nodded, something sharp, but meaningful in its own way. Sun Wukong peacefully ate the rest of his noodle, listening quietly to the scholar's retelling of past legends, and the pig's annoyed groans, chiming in from time to time with his own knowledge. He left them with a lightened heart, encouraged by this brief moment of respite. He didn't find the kid, but the moment had been pleasant, he promised himself to come by more in the future. 

He reached Sandy's submarine easily, used to the paths that led to the docks after so many visits. The tea-lover welcomed him warmly, inviting him in with his trademark smile. Sun Wukong crouched down and greeted all the fluff balls running towards him, he petted each of them, cooing at their cuteness. After a few minutes of pets, he stood up and followed the tea-lover in the kitchen to help him make the tea. Macaque appeared just after they finished the teas. The two monkeys sat on the couch and took their usual cups. 

“Hello to the both of you. I hope everything is going great. Do you both still want to do what we talked about?” Asked the tea-lover as he put his cup down. 

“Those last sessions were nice, but I think it's time we breach the subject.” Answered the macaque, sure of himself. Sandy turned towards him, like always waiting for his input before deciding. 

“We're here to talk about our problems after all.” He awkwardly answered. If he was honest, he didn't want to talk about their downfall. He knew it was inevitable and that they both needed it to move on. But he also knew it would end badly, he wasn't naive enough to believe they wouldn't hurt each other, their wounds were still weeping even after thousands of years, it was bound to hurt. 

“Alright. I want the both of you to know you can stop at any moment, and that I will be there to diffuse anything if you both get too heated.” Gently explained the tea-lover while petting Mo. “Now, do you have somewhere to begin with? Or do you want my help with that?”

“I guess we can start with the beginning. It'll be easier”. Shrugged the macaque. 

“Which is?” Asked the sage, wanting to be on the same page as the other for this dreadful talk. 

“You becoming King.” Replied the warrior. 

“Oh, okay, the beginning beginning then.” Awkwardly chuckled the sage, he didn't think they would go this far in their past. A tense silence fell upon them after his input, it was as if neither knew how to breach the matter, as if it was some unseizabke thing they couldn't express properly. Both afraid of their own words. 

“So, Mister Wukong became King. How did that make you both feel?” Bless Sandy for breaking this quietness, it was too suffocating for Wukong. 

“I was glad. Felt nice to be recognized by others and all”. Easily replied the King. 

“I was glad for him, he seemed happy with it and it didn't bother me.” Once again silence fell, a tense, suffocating quietness on the verge of blowing up like the strained string of a bow. 

“But Mister Wukong becoming King caused some problems, didn't it?” Guessed the tea-lover. 

“It didn't cause problems, it just… triggered the whole thing.” Mumbled the warrior, Sun Wukong raised an eyebrow at that, this was the first time he heard such a thing. 

“What did it trigger?” Asked the sage. 

“You leaving.” The King flinched, surprised by the bitterness of the other. He turned away, eyebrows furrowed. 

“You left the mountain, Mister Wukong?” 

“I just…to find immortality and all.”

“At first.” Cut the macaque with crossed arms. 

“What do you mean by that, Mister Maquawke?”

“That… You didn't just leave one time. You left for the Diyu, you left to explore our borders, to see others' kingdoms, making allies and then Heavens… ” Explained the warrior in a quiet whisper. 

“Well yeah, because I needed to.” Carefully retorted the sage. 

“I'm feeling that those outings frustrated you, Mister Maquawke. Am I wrong?” 

“I just… I didn't like to be left behind.” Sighed the ebony monkey. 

“I always asked if you wanted to come with me, you always said no.” Mumbled the King, saddened by the other's tone. 

“Because someone had to protect the monkeys and the mountain.” Hissed the macaque. 

“I trained them to take care of themself.” Refuted the King. 

“And that worked so well.” Muttered the warrior. “Remember Havoc? The hunters? Heavens? Hell, even Erlang ? The monkeys are defenseless without us, that's the only truth.”

Sun Wukong grabbed one of the couch sides, claws slightly tearing the fabric. He cleared his mind with a few breaths, not wanting to let his emotions drown him. 

“I sense a great bitterness in your words, Mister Maquawke. Perhaps, you wanted to leave the mountain too?” Carefully asked the tea-lover, the warrior flinched, tail tightening in his ankle. Sun Wukong turned towards him, curious about his answer. 

“I thought about it…” whispered the warrior. 

“Why did you never tell me?.” Sighed the sage, heart shattering with the mere thought of depriving his friend of what he wanted because of his own selfish desires. 

“I just… I didn't want to burden you.” Softly replied the macaque. “I missed you too.”

“awww, bud.” Cooed the sage. 

“Whatever.” Groaned the warrior. “I guess it felt bitter. To deal with everything. I had to deal with the borders, the food, the newborns, the houses, the weapons. And… I liked to take care of the monkeys, but I didn't… each day that's all I ever did, take care of them, I couldn't even take care of myself. Sometimes I felt used, I did everything, but all the credits went to you. And while I worked my ass off for us, you were just… leaving… always leaving.”

“Macaque I…” The sage gulped, throat tied by sorrow. “I'm sorry… I wasn't… I never knew.”

“I know. I didn't want you to know.” Sighed Macaque, eyes downcast. 

“You know, at this time I didn't understand what it meant to be King. I just liked the title. It wasn't fair to impose those burdens on you. I should have… I'm sorry.” Sun Wukong approached his moon and carefully put his hand on top of his. “I'm grateful for everything you did for me. Thank you, my warrior.” Macaque flinched, he yanked his hand out of the sage's grip and held it carefully, as if it was burned. Sun Wukong painfully repressed the cry on the tip of his tongue. 

“Were you bored of us? Of me? Is it why you left? Because I wasn't enough?” Asked the macaque as he curled on himself. 

“No! No, no, no, never.” Answered the sage. “I left because I was curious… Because I wanted glory, recognition. But I… at this time, if I had to choose between you and my titles, I would have chosen you, always you. All I ever did was for us.”

“Are you sure of that?” Spat the macaque, shoulders quivering. 

“I promise-”

“Don't promise me anything ever again!” Hissed the other, tail lashing on the couch, frightening the nearby cats. 

“A-alright, I promise nothing. But it is the truth… I wasn't bored of you. I never could be.”

They stayed frozen for a few minutes, each brewing with their own emotions. 

“How about we take a little breather before going on, if you both still want to go on.”

The monkeys nodded, each already drained by the talk. They nibbled on the tea-lover's snacks in silence, trying to appease their respective hearts. Wukong left the couch and rolled around with the cats, playing with their tiny paws with glee. Macaque drew something on a piece of paper, each stroke of pen harsh and loud, imbued with his feelings. 

They resumed the talk after an hour, both retaking their respective places, before the tea-lover. 

“I think, maybe, we should talk about the brotherhood.” Quietly proposed the sage. 

“What is the brotherhood?”Asked Sandy. 

“They were our friends, we shared common ideals.” The macaque scoffed at his words. 

“Yeah, friends.” Groaned the ebony monkey. 

“You didn't like them, Mister Maquawke?”

“No. I didn't.” 

“But they were our brothers.” Replied the King, chest tightening at the other thundering voice. 

“Don't be naïve. This wasn't friendship, it was a power play, they only wanted us for their stupid rebellion.”

“Don't say that. I liked them!” Exclaimed the sage. 

“Well, I didn't.” Mumbled the macaque. “Peng was a little shit. Yellow Tusk never made an effort to befriend us. Azure was blinded by his ideals. And I guess DBK was nice but he wasn't fond of me. And you were just accepting all of it because you wanted attention.”

“Then why did you never tell me!?” Cut the sage. “ I wouldn't have invited them so often if I knew you felt this way.”

“I told you I thought the plan was stupid!”

“No! You told me you had doubts about it, not that you felt uncomfortable with them. It's not the same.” Sighed the King. 

“I didn't… you liked them.”

“So you never told me because I liked them?” Quietly asked the sage, heart shattering all over again. “How much of yourself did you sacrifice like that? Why did you never tell me anything?”

“I just… Well, yeah, it sucked that you seemed to brush me aside when we hung out with them but I… I liked to see you happy.” 

“You…” Sun Wukong took a deep breath to calm his nerves. “I'm sorry I never listened to you before, especially with our attack on Heaven. I… I know it sucks. It sucked when I wasn't listened to and I know how it hurts. But I wish you'd talked more.”

“...I'm sorry I never told you anything. That I let it fester inside of me.” Mumbled Macaque, tail coiling on himself, eyes avoiding the sage like the plague. 

They both stopped talking for a while, trying to catch their breath after letting their emotions run wild. The more he learned about their past, the more Sun Wukong felt guilty. He felt like a failure. A failure of a King, who let his warrior take the burden of the crown instead of owning it like he should have. A failure of a friend, who brushed aside his moon for the brotherhood and never saw the pain he hid, never saw how much he sacrificed. A failure of a man, who let his own selfishness and his own fear dictate his way of life. 

They called him the intelligent stone monkey and yet, now, he felt like a fool. 

“Are you alright, Mister King?” Asked the tea-lover, perhaps he noticed his pale face. 

“I feel horrible.” Mumbled the sage. “I'm horrible! I feel like my whole life is a lie now! I thought you were happy…” He turned towards the warrior, eyes glistening with tears. “I thought you were happy with me. And now I learned I made your life a living hell because I was a fool! You mean so much to me and I… I let you down.”Macaque turned towards him with fire-like eyes, and cut him before he could say more. 

“I was happy.” He said with the utmost sincerity. 

“No, you weren't. I was horrible to you.”

“No, Wukong–come on, don't do this.” Macaque scoutched closer, tail tentatively brushing against his own. “I was happy with you. Why do you think I never told you anything? Because I… I was afraid I would lose you, because you mean… meant so much.”

“You shouldn't have felt afraid. I should have told you how much I lo- liked you.”

“Stop thinking like that.” Muttered the warrior. 

“Like what? It's the truth, I made you so unhappy-”

“Stop making assumptions about what I feel!” Hissed Macaque, fangs lightened up by the house warm lights. “If I'm telling you I was happy, it means I was happy. Stop doing that!”

“I… sorry.” Whispered the King, eyes closed, perhaps to escape the warrior's heated gaze. 

“Why do you think Mister Maquawke was unhappy, Mister King?”Gently asked Sandy. 

“Because… then… It would explain why he abandoned me under the mountain. He was sick of me.” Muttered the sage, claws firmly planted in the couch, as if he was trying to keep himself there, and not flee far away from this room. 

“What are you talking about?” Asked the warrior, and it pierced his chest, that he could, once again, brush aside his 500 years of solitude as if it was nothing. 

“What do you think I'm talking about!?” Roared the King, heart hammering loudly, almost painfully. Years of pain, of tears, of hatred, of despair, crashing upon him at once. “You left me.” He curled on himself, hiding from the other eyes. “After our fight, you left me alone, for so long.”

“I… I had to return to the mountain.” Explained the warrior. 

“But you could visit, it would've been easy with your powers.” Muttered the King, throat tight, filled with an old venom that festered in his skin for too long. 

“Wukong, the whole world knew of your imprisonment. It was a mess back home, I had to fight back all the cocky demons that wanted your territory.” 

“Still, I felt so alone, it was so hard. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I waited for you.”

“You screamed at me the moment I went to see you!” Spat the macaque. 

“Because I was hurt! I wanted to apologize but you never came back.” Groaned the King, hands trembling under the force of his emotions. 

“I… Your prison was eyed by Heaven, I couldn't risk them finding me, and taking me, the monkeys, the mountain needed someone. They needed their warrior-”

“You're all-hearing, Macaque! You could have sneaked in so easily, you did it once! Just admit you were sick of me, that you never cared. I was hurting so much, I just… I began to hate you for leaving me.”

“I cared! That's my problem! I cared about you too much!” Screeched the warrior. “I care so much I never took your place as King even when they pleaded me to. It would have been so easy, and it would have solved everything, all the demons would have backed off if the mountain had a King. But I knew how much you cared about that title, how much it meant to you! So I was never able to steal it. So I just endured, endured and endured everything. Fighting off demons and hunters. Dealing with the mortal monkeys. Trying to find them homes, to find them food! I has to deal with every fucking demons you pissed off, everyone that seeked revenge on us! Then I had to deal with Erlang! The mountain was dead, and it needed its King to heal! I had to deal with sickness and starvation! And when I think I can be free of this fucking nightmare because you're not under the mountain anymore, I learn you're joining a monk!?? You joined Heaven! Did you even think about us!? How it would've affected us! We were surrounded by demons' territories for God's sake. What do you think they did when they learned of your betrayal!?? Don't you dare say I don't care about you! Yeah, maybe I was also afraid to see you too, but I did so much for you, Wukong. I dedicated so much to you, don't talk to me about selfishness. If anything, you're the selfish one, it's always me, me, me, with you!”

“I'M SORRY” Roared the sage, cheeks strained with burning tears. “I'm sorry you had to live through all of this! But all I asked for was a word, an explanation! You left me alone to rot while I was tortured by Heaven's lackeys! What was I supposed to think!? I just needed a word. A visit once a year would have been enough! It would have been better than 500 years of fucking silence!! Did you think I had a choice when I joined the monk !? I was under a mountain for 500 years, I didn't have ANY choice! And then, when I see you again, you're trying to kill my fucking master while talking about “saving me or whatnot”-

“I thought he was hurting you!!” Replied the macaque.

“I told you he wasn't! I told you to leave me alone!!”

“Ohhh, that's so like you!! So you killing me wasn't a mistake, so you never regretted it!? I GUESS I JUST DESERVED IT DON'T I-”

“DON'T YOU DARE!!” Screamed the sage, he jumped on his feet, breath struggling to pass his lips, eyes blurred by his own tears. “I FUCKING LOVE YOU OF COURSE I REGRETTED IT!”

“WELL IT DIDN'T SEEMS LIKE IT WHEN YOU PUT YOUR STAFF THROUGH MY EYES JUST AFTER I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU!” Screamed the warrior as he jumped on his feet, Sun Wukong felt something vile rising within him, all his emotions clogging his throat. The memory of it was unbearable. He rushed to Sandy's bathroom, throwing himself on the toilet and puking everything inside of him. “Don't hold me back! I'm out!”Screeched Macaque, the sage heard him leave the house, his tail lashing at each of his steps. 

Sun Wukong cried above the toilet, regretting ever trying to talk about this. 

This was a mistake. 

[la-pheacienne]

Frodo + what do you have in common? :)

omg a lotr ask??? Thank you so much nonnie!

WELL since I'm doing great mentally the last few months years, what I have in common with Frodo is the despair and general lack of hope in the face of an insurmountable task. I too am faced with a task I consider impossible rn and I too feel pretty hopeless and burdened by various mental and physical health issues which interfere with that task and I too am away from home and way out of my confort zone and continuously feel small and helpless which is sth Frodo feels constantly throughout the story. I think that sense of despair and hopelessness is central to Frodo's character and also to lotr themes and it is not talked about enough imo, and it is precisely that element that makes his heroism and resilience and discipline so meaningful and impactful. And since I am trying to find that determination and discipline myself, Frodo's journey is particularly inspiring to me! I love him to death.

[crystallizsch]

GLOMAS BASKETBALL CLUB 💥💥💥

ace and floyd glorious masquerade outfit designs by @cheerleaderman!! i’ve been meaning to draw them bc the designs are so good and so fun,,,

[manichewitz]

sam and frodo’s relationship is so crazy theyre like what if we had a homoerotic adventurer’s bond that was so strong it overcame the power of supreme evil, saving not just the world but one another, and the only reason we were able to survive the violence around us was through sheer love for each other, and although we’re not canonically lovers our relationship is so much more intimate and tender than acceptable norms for male/male relationships that we transcend easily definable labels and thus become queer irregardless of whether our attraction is platonic, romantic, or sexual…and we were both hobbits

[unexpectedbrickattack]

short king and his shorter kings

[jyminie]

Just finished the trials of Apollo and I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT

These books were so different to me because they directly revolved around a topic Rick clearly wanted to touch - abuse. Specifically, familial abuse. Personally I think he’d done it gracefully in a way that really sinks in for me now, but I’m not a victim of abuse and don’t pretend to understand the subject.

Regardless, I think the way Rick wrote Apollo, Lester, was absolute perfection. There’s an art to writing a literal god in first person perspective, and have him be one of the most human characters in the entire franchise.

Lester STRUGGLES. And he’s not perfect at all, he doesn’t even begin to understand everything at the start - not the world, not consequences, not the stakes and not the people around him. But fuck he learns, he learns the hard way, the only way, by doing. And it’s not a linear journey either - between book 1 and his more or less lucid identity in book 5, he goes back and forth between learning, and relapsing to his old ways, and learning again, and trusting and understand and rising victorious in all the confusion. He doesn’t shy away from his emotions - he cries a lot, and gets frustrated, and laughs. He learns to feel for other people. But he also learns to heal himself. And he does it by helping others heal, too.

To me, this red thread tying the books together by a common serious subject, made the reading somehow more whole. I can’t explain it, but Apollo slowly verbalising (well, thinking), realising there are similarities between his relationship with Zeus to Meg’s relationship with Nero, was so satisfying. Although I feel like “satisfying” might be a bit of a harsh word. Mostly I felt proud of him. I /felt/ for him, so very much, for so long. He’s likeable because he’s so human, and that includes both his silly and tragic sides, because these coexist within all of us. And I think he as a character encompassed that beautifully.

Reading that last book, expecting a showdown of sorts between Apollo and his father, and receiving a short conversation, an understanding, instead, was amazing. Because that’s Rick’s way of showing us what’s important. No use trying to fix what we can’t, what isn’t our responsibility to fix, what makes us miserable. Humans have this natural ability to rise from their own disasters and forge out of them their own paths in life. And Apollo did just that. It took him time, but that’s how it goes for all of us. And instead of fighting Zeus, he chose happiness. He chose focusing on what’s important, his old hobbies, his friends.

In a way, I’m bittersweet- I wish he didn’t have to stay at Olympus. I wish he could spend as much time as he’d like on earth. But the thing is, a god is what he /is/. But now, he understands for the first time that he gets to pick what kind of god he should be.

And he chose the human kind.

[oh-meow-swirls]

how does the raft not capsize.

[crescentfool]

going to keep this vague on purpose but playing reload has reactivated brain chemicals in me that i forgot i had.

i think i'd want to make a more thought out post later, but i think my favorite thing about reload (aside from seeing minato in full HD glory) is how much it's made me think about video games as a storytelling medium- specifically with what mechanics and game design imply for characters.

there's a lot of quality of life features added to reload that help players easily enter a flow state and get immersed in the gameplay (most notable with tartarus)! which is so dope! reload has been such a nice blend of the mechanics from both FES and portable and it feels like a love letter to persona 3 fans.

there are definitely mechanics i miss from FES (minato's ability to wield multiple weapons being one of them). i can't deny that FES has some dated mechanics that don't necessarily feel fun for the player experience... but!

i think i mostly miss things from FES because i feel like so much of minato's characterization (for me) was informed by the gameplay experience and mechanics (e.g. fatigue system). obviously there's still other ways you can put together his personality (his dialogue responses), but i think game mechanics are a bit part of it, for me.

but in spite of that, i think reload is a really nice introduction to persona 3, it's so much more accessible and has a bunch of things to help make it more fun :) so far i think i'd recommend it to people :D

[icewindandboringhorror]

[lemongogo]

AYLIN AND ISOBEL?

[raamitsu]

SIU-nim is taking a break, it seems again.

[snailfen]

i woke up from a nap 30 minutes ago with the best animatic idea (two birds by regina spektor my beloved) ive had in 17 years with kris and lyra and ive been stuck in a very intense catastrophic autism event about it the entire 30 minutes,

(catagory 20 autism event in the tags below)

[moinsbienquekaworu]

I thought I'd keep my Emotional Support Fic Yearly Reread for september/october when I'll be stressed out of my mind living alone with paperwork and schoolwork to do but actually I think right now is a good time