#also like to what degree do you really know people at 13 y/o

[thirteendaysintaunton]

how long did dimi and el know each other for as kids, like a month or two? and then he wants to claim that he knows her better and claim some kind of ownership over that friendship? that's like me saying my friend from summer camp taught me how to make boondoggle and then I never saw her again when camp ended, how dARE SHE NOT MAKE ME HER BEST MAN AT HER WEDDING

[linnienin]

⁓⁕🍷 🌸 V e n u s ⁕ a n d ⁕ h o w ⁕ y o u ⁕ c h i l l 🌸 🍷⁕⁓

Disclaimer: Take what resonates. I'm not a professional astrologer, i just am an avid researcher and i use my personal experience when writing my posts (Also, pls, don't copy my work, i spend lot of time on it, thanks)

Ahhh Venus, the planet of love. We use it to talk about our relationships and misadventures in our love life. But it also is the planet of feminine energy, enjoyment, relaxation and indulgence. How do you chill using your Venusian energy? Let's find out looking at your Venus's sign and degree

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⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Aries / 1-13-25 degrees : *aggresively flying on the couch* play TV, *loud setting on*, watch the tv for 1 minute, gets bored, *roll off the couch*, goes to the kitchen, sees people, start a little chase (Jason Momoa meme entered the caption) 👀👐. After annoying people for a bit, do a little workout, tries to lift a 700 kg cause they *confident*, fail, they still confident, opt for the 0.5 kg, now they happy 😊💪. Dance lover. Enjoy drinking energy drinks. Not really a sipp-er, more of a chugg-er lmao. Carbs are their heaven, they cannot have enough (cause they move a lot, they need the energyy). When laying on the sofa need to put their head on someone else's shoulder or legs or head to feel safe and receive the physical contact they really crave. Enjoy taking short cold showers. Like playing chess (they're good at strategizing and know when to attack and they're bold about it). Cut their hair as a relaxing activity (until they have no hair left to cut lol), likes dyeing them too, preferabily with bolder colours.

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⁕ Taurus / 2-14-26 degrees: The yawn-er. They're MASTER at chilling. They chill doing everything, i'm not kidding, are they at home, are they at work? They be chilling allll the time. Lovers of the sofa, bed, and others soft big surfaces. Chill by taking their time doing everything, they be starting cooking at 9 a.m. to serve a meal at 1 p.m. ✨Sloth with grace✨. Quality over quantity. Enjoy passing time doing nothing...literally. They be like fixating on a thing and looking at it for an hour straight. Mad control of their focus. Meditating without realizing It. Probably sip chamomile. They like to think time doesn't exist, they got all the time in the world (until they wake up one day, look into the mirror and realize they forgot to shave their mustache for all this time). Hella romantic, enjoy picking up flowers, endless walks in nature, veery slowly, they be stopping every 2x3 to admire a little bug passing by.

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⁕ Gemini / 3-15-27 degrees: Tea time with their personalities. Lmao, no but they literally chill by checking in with their thoughts and their ideas. Loves listening to podcasts and documentaries. Multitasking hobbies. Yup, i have no clue how they even relax by doing 1738283 things at a time but it's a way to shut down their thoughts for a while. Yeah, i know, i just told you they chill by thinking too, but sometimes it becomes too much and they have to switch the brain off. Relax by painting their nails. Get experimental with makeup. Write fanfics but leave them unfinished 👀. Admire their pretty handwriting. Enjoy reading and talking about gossip a looot, too much hehe. Like to play games that require a broad knowledge on everything (ex Trivia). Thinking about doing stuff but actually not doing it lmfao, they just love to think about soo many ideas, that is a way to relax, but then they don't even write them down and poof, they're gone and they can't remember them and they get mad about it :(

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⁕ Cancer / 4-16-28 degrees : Cuddling with their pillow 24/7 (cause deep down they feel alone... 🥺). Play animal crossing. Imagine their future family, even tho they're actually stuck in the past lol. Most likely to binge watch series for a whole day and get emotional about it because they get too attached to the characters. If they could they'd never leave the house...ever lmao, total homebodies. Relaxing by spending time alone or with very closed ones, friends/family. Probably likes to collect plushies, funko pops, or mini cute figures of their favourite fictional characters ✨. Cooking and baking can be a relaxing activity to them, especially if they do it for their family or their guests. Have 'grandma's hobbies'... knitting/crocheting for example lol. Enjoy so much making photo albums, and even more looking at them from time to time. Love going to the sea, early mornings walking barefoot on the sand and admiring the immense ocean and the sun rising, they're fans of little details and very romantic/sweet scenarios. They enjoy being helpful to others, so they'll probably ask people if they can do something for them (especially if they see people struggling doing something, they'll gladly volounteer to offer their help).

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⁕ Leo / 5-17-29 degrees: Stars wannabe. Intensely crying in front of the mirror portraying a desperate girl that has been cheated on, then recompose themselves and admire how good they just were pffft. Put on glasses even at home to feel extra, hit the door while walking cause they can't see a thing, get on the floor purposely, decides to play the blind character, gets up, * sudden dramatic enhancement of the other senses*. Dancing with the starssss. No seriosuly, they should apply, but as the professional dancer cause they so good! (and well they're not stars.... yet 👀). Like the other 2 fire venuses they enjoy moving their body so workouts are very appreciated, but leos especially loove hiit workouts, go build that cooore. Lovers of loong passionate and romantic dramas, they wanna feel all the emotions and they stay loyal to a specific series so they wish it could go on forevahh (hello..."Beautiful" lmao). ✨ Randomly transform their home in a runway show. Start walking like a model to feel themselves ✨ List all the things they can do and skills they acquired to feel good about themselves, then they list all the things they wanna work towards to use that self esteem boost to enhance their motivation and work towards their future goals.

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⁕ Virgo / 6-18 degrees : Killing the chilling. No seriosuly, these people seem like they can't 100% chill properly, and some of them may take 'something' to feel completely detached and lost from reality for a bit... 👀 They chill by making plans. Always trying to find things to do and learn to always get better. Working on themselves is their favourite project. Scanning the room in bed instead of chilling, seeing if there's something they need to adjust or clean. Overthinking the heck out of their lives...wait weren't you supposed to chill? Nevermind 🙈. Roasting others...in their minds hehe, they won't let others see how much they enjoy analizing their mistakes. 'Lemme give you advice on this thing' , others: uhm... ok but chilllll. And you ask Virgo venuses whyy they continue to give advices even when people don't listen to them. Well... saying 'I told you' is more satifying than hearing 'i don't care' 😘 (underlying validation issues). Well...i mean, they could chill while crafting, i give you this, it's probably the only time where they get near the definition of chilling...but hey hold on, cause soon enough they gonna find out details about how they're not perfect at what they do so kill the chill again and let the procrastination beginnn (wait... is procrastination's Virgo's way of chilling?)

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Libra / 7-19 degrees: They wanna experience the finest things in life. They go to that fancy restaurant, get that fancy dress, buy those fancy flowers... they wanna feel cuddled by life and specifically... lifestyle. They need to feel they value by surroundings themselves with valuable things. That's why they chill by going shopping or talking to new people, because where they see value in, they get value from. It's all about feeling good about themselves. Have a sweet tooth (but enjoy eating overall, it's like they enjoy the experience of taste, they're not really picky ultimately). Can splurge on personal care, lots of tools for facials or expensive skincare (cause after eating sugar they need to mantain the perfect skin lol). They work a lot on the mantainance of the self. That's why they have a good eye for fashion and aesthetics, because they have been researching and analizing everything that's out there to understand what's better for them, but they still haven't found out their true style due to their indecisive nature 😂. Plus let's admit it, they like to change often and renew themselves to maintain that 'interesting persona' 👀

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⁕ Scorpio / 8-20 degrees : Drowning their nose in personality tests. Seriously, when these people wanna chill, all they got on their mind is how to understand that mind even more. They're detectives of their own psyche. Lovers of shadow work. Let all those intense questions unfold! Obsessive researchers. They find a topic they like, they delve deep into it until they've found enough to feel satisfied and jump on another theme to obsess themselves over. Probably watching a lot of documentaries on criminals and unresolved cases trying to find the final answer themselves. Masters at playing Cluedo. Read everybodies's minds in every single setting, it makes them relaxed by feeling in control of the room's energies, and yeah... even during lunch between family members lmao. Need plenty of alone time. They're secretly training to become wizards/witches 👀. Probably like to sip pomegranate juice or any other juicy and thick flavoured drink. Sometimes they forget to even eat because of how invested theyre in their researches lol. I know you're already attractive as hell, but y'all take care of your bodyyy

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⁕ Sagittarius / 9-21 degrees : The boy/girl scout. Those people HAVE to move, they can't stay still or they'll start to stress out. They love a good trip somewhere new, visiting places abroad, taking that bus/train and not knowing where it'll take them (they get lost easily lmfao but they don't mind it, it's part of the thrilling experience). Documentaries lovers: can't go out? Let them wander with their minds. Like to change activities often as they get bored quickly. Enjoy trying to eat different types of food from different cultures. They like to go shopping a lot, to have little souvenirs of all the places they've been to (can tend to overspend depending on other placements in the chart). The one who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Can love to pertake in volounteering activities, especially if they require them to sail to another country, they enjoy being helpful to other people in need (if underdeveloped can have hero complex). Probably enjoy playing on the Wii in competitive games, they're always up for a competition, even for the slightest thing, like "who can finish up this bottle of water first?? Ready? Start!" (they can announce little challenges like this veeery randomly and everyone will follow their lead, it's crazy haha)

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⁕ Capricorn / 10-22 degrees : Counting their money. Sorting their bills. Sooo relaxing right, especially when the money in your bank account keep groowingg 👀 (they probably watch cash envelope stuffing videos + budgeting on YT). Relax by doing the same routine every day, they can do it without even thinking, and that to them is relieving. They enjoy the adulting process, so actually...going to work can feel like chilling to them lol, they like to feel a sense of responsibility, it makes them feel motivated to always grow, and having a sense of order and stability, that's what makes them feel relaxed and safe. Constantly reading self-help books. Probably sipping their wine while chilling or an expensive drink or a concentrated drink (blueberry juice peraphs). They like high quality items, so they usually shop designer clothes/accessories, they love those labels lol. They love the sofa, don't ask me why lol, most people love the bed, capricorn venuses love the sofa, periodt (can it be because the space is restricted and Cap being ruled by Saturn, planet of restrictions... well, could be).

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⁕ Aquarius / 11-23 degrees : The videogamer. Have way too many hobbies that have nothing in common. Wanna splurge on those headphones too? You already have the bunny ears ones, the cat ears ones, the led ones, guyzzz you have a whole collection of them lmao. Are probably into reading about the unknown mysteries of the universe. Conspiracy theories lovers (they just love when they can confuse others people's minds with all their absurdities). The ones who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Collectors of technology stuff, yup, they still have the gameboyy 🥺. Unpredictable af but they enjoy being this way so people can always question them and think of them as interesting. Introverted people that need to recharge by being alone. Probably Webtoons and manga lovers. Enjoy pertaking in protest marches, feeling part of the crowd (sense of belonging) and feeling they can contribute to a greater cause. They feel the need to do something crazy once in a while, so if you see them bunjee jumping randomly, or trying others 'dangerous' activities don't be surprised (pls, be careful, and don't try anything illegal....understood?👀...pfft, i already know you're gonna roll your eyes, and think, here we go, another sheep that is trying to tell me what to do lol)

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⁕ Pisces / 12-24 degrees : Do you think thinking about "what ifs" is relaxing?? Y'allll pleaseee, i know the feeling is good when you imagine your perfect reality...but...you literally take it as a hobby and do it way too much...to your own detriment 😭. They looove watching romance movies and dramas, it's their bread and butter (to give food to those daydreams right?🙃). Play music ALL day and get lost in their world, and then suddenly it's time to go to bed and they realize they lost another day to daydreaming, now they got to the nightdreaming phase of the day lol 😂😭. Loves taking baths, the contact with water feels truly healing to them, they could stay in the water 24/7. Can be extremely good at painting or drawing, or singing (and other artistic activities too), and relax by doing these activities. Just asking, but are y'all ok with the low blood pressure?😢(also curious, do you tend to have low blood pressure?). Can relax but lose themselves watching the phone,especially social medias. Until they realize they're literally watching and living an illusion, they think they live by watching everyone else's lives and connect with them through the screen, but they're not living their own life by going out there, and experiencing the world as main characters, not just extras of their own lives.

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Congrats! You've reached the end! ✨

Hope you enjoyed this post, always rememer that we are not just one placement, so if you didn't resonate, that's ok, i'd love to know your feedback in both cases (if you did or did not resonate), it is always very appreciated 🥰

Wish you a wonderful day! 🍷 Yours, Linnie 🌸

[aghostlybao]

🏳️‍🌈 boggie

anon, thank you so much for responding to my post!! i give you bobby's first ever pride, boggie style!

multicolored steps to bravery

warnings: none. however, if you do find anything you think are triggering then pls send me a msg and tag the reblogs accordingly. thank you!

 navigating through one’s gender/sexuality is confusing and overwhelming, especially when you’re at an age where society expects you to have an established sense of self. it is absolutely okay to remain uncertain of what label, if any, suits you best. and it is also okay to change the label you’ve chosen to identify yourself as somewhere down the line or to forgo labels altogether. 

or bobby watches his friends grow && celebrate their gender/sexuality with pride while he ends up even more confused && thinks that he's running out of time to figure out where he belongs.

writing below the cut. excuse my grammar, english is difficult af but i hope you enjoy it

                           

multicolored steps to bravery

There were times Bobby felt like an outsider, an audience witnessing the growth of his friends rather than growing with them. While Alex found out about his sexuality at 12, Luke following right after, and Reggie two years later, but Bobby at 18, still didn’t know where he belonged in the gender and sexuality spectrum. And every year, as his friends went through heartbreaks, his own experience never went past an awkward peck on the lips during a spin-the-bottle game when he was 13. While they grew confident and proud, showcasing their gender and sexuality, and becoming supportive figures to the younger students at their high school since sophomore year; Bobby reeled back and firmly smiled as others labeled him as the token straight friend of the group.

But at 23, Bobby finally found the courage to join his friends at the annual pride festivities, while still being 100% unsure of his identity. Bobby lounged on the living room sofa, feet nonchalantly propped up on the coffee table, and munched on sliced green apples dipped in sriracha sauce as they put the finishing touches to their outfits.

Reggie stole the fruit out of his hand, “you okay?”

“Yeah, Reg.” He happily fed the bassist another slice, “just sleepy.” Bobby was grateful that Reggie remained quiet about the obvious lie that came out of his mouth.

Reggie did a 360-degree turn on the spot and wiggled his fingers when he came to a stop. “What do you think? Willie painted the back panel,” he turned away and showcased the very artwork he was talking about, a bass guitar in the colors of the bisexual flag. “Julie added the studs!”

His own outfit, dull and monotone, wasn’t even worth comparing against their elaborate looks.

Bobby tried, really tried not to entertain him not belonging, or that it affected him every time a stranger screamed in delight, gave them high fives, and with some going as far as giving hugs because of the colors that adorned their bodies. But it was difficult not to when they were bouncing with so much excitement that it made his head spin. Reggie’s presence didn’t even register until his hand received a comforting squeeze. “You okay, Bee?”

When had he stopped walking? Bobby mechanically smiled, forcibly making the outer corner of his eyes crinkle. “yeah dude, just got lost in my thoughts. We should catch up with them.” Neither of them moved from the spot.

Right before them were rows of pride flags varying in sizes and colors to represent the entire LGBTQIA+ community. The growing crowd turned into a blur of multicolored identities, from Alex and his partner, Willie in their rainbow splattered dungarees with the demisexual flag painted on one of Willie’s pant leg to Luke’s arms covered in swirls of pink, yellow, and cyan. And Reg, Reggie’s leather jacket customized with magenta, lavender, and royal blue studs, and the hand-painted bass guitar in the same colors was a stark contrast to his full black outfit.

“Reg?” Bobby still didn’t have the answer to the question he’s been asking himself since Alex came out to them at 12, “I don’t think I’m straight... or gay, or bi, or pan…” He continued when Reggie took hold of both his hands, a silent encouragement to keep going. “Actually, I have no clue what to identify as, not the way all of you do. I-I thought I was asexual but then I found out about its sub-identities, then people started referring to me as the token straight.”

Bobby rolled his shoulders back, lifting his head to return Reggie’s gaze. “I was hoping I’d have it all figured out by now but I’m thinking that it may never happen.” He briefly searched for any sign that he should stop talking but Reggie met uncertainty with a soft smile. “I like you.” He dropped to a squat, groaning in frustration. Talk about finesse. He swore under his breath, “I had this entire confession planned out, and I fu-And you’re laughing at me!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’ve never heard you speak for long or look so scared. Remember that rottweiler living across the school and Luke dared me to go pet it?”

“Yeah, you cried and fainted.”

“Exactly!”

“I don’t get it…”

“That’s how I feel towards you!”

“You’re... scared of me?”

Reggie crouched down in front of him, beaming, “yeah! Wait. No! I was in the beginning, you were super cool and I told the guys that it was unfair how you owned the ‘haven’t slept but still hot’ look while I looked like a turtle every morning!” Halfway through his ramblings, the two of them had changed their position and comfortably sat crossed-legged in the middle of the street. Bobby was far too entranced to care about the looks of annoyance being thrown at them.

“My point is,” he pursed his lips, “I like you too, Bobby.” To prevent Bobby from countering, Reggie pushed his cheeks together, making him look like an inverted version of a pufferfish.

“And before you ask, it’s good enough for me. We don’t even have to put a label on it!”

“I don’t know... being called your boyfriend sounds nice.”

“It does?”

“Yeah, Reg.”

“Okay, boyfriend.”

“Ew.” Bobby quickly stood up, cackling as Reggie chased him through the multicolored crowd.

[ofxdiamonds]

[ zendaya & she/her / cisfemale ] watch out, [ diamond bellevue ] has crash-landed into roswell !! they look [ 22 years old ] and celebrate their birthday on [ december 15th ]. they are from [ new york city ], reside in [ moonbeam gardens ] and are currently working as a [ model / entrepreneur ]. one thing you should know about them is that [ she travels a lot for her work ].

trigger warnings: mention of drugs, drinking, eating disorder & mental illness

- B A S I C -

FULL NAME: Diamond Nathalia Bellevue NICKNAME(S): Dime, Di or Dia AGE: 22 OCCUPATION: Model / Entrepreneur. She is a businesswoman, through and through - starting at eighteen, she’s been buying and reselling high fashion and beauty products online, and as of recently she’s now the proud owner of SWAG Dance Studio, and is a well-known fashion-content influencer and creator on social media. BIRTHDAY: December 15th ZODIAC: Sagittarius HOGWARTS HOUSE: Slytherin

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good

- F A M I L Y -

FATHER:  (Adopted) Winston Bellevue MOTHER: (Adopted) Betty Bellevue SIBLINGS: (Adopted) Four older siblings (between the ages of 26 - 40) CHILDREN: 13-month old son, Andre

PETS:    - A Doberman puppy - Cicero

- A P P E A R A N C E -

HEIGHT: 5′10′’ WEIGHT: 120 lbs HAIR COLOR / TYPE:  Dark brown / Naturally curly. She sometimes straightens it EYE COLOR: Dark Hazel

- P E R S O N A L I T Y -

(+) Independent, Gregarious, Clever, Ambitious, Resourceful (-) Unrestrained, Wild, Impulsive, Reckless, Sarcastic

She is definitely ambitious and inarguably intelligent, and can find solutions to pretty much any problem she comes across. Yet at the same time, she can also be quite reckless and selfish, and is still very much a child in a lot of ways...which is kind of concerning for her family and loved ones, since she has a kid of her own to take care of.

She parties, drinks and does drugs often, yet still she somehow manages to be responsible enough in her day to day life, taking her work and the care of her son very seriously. Despite her reckless and unrestrained nature, Dime loves Dante dearly and wants only the best for him.

- L I K E S -

Spending time with her son, and their dog, Cicero

Dancing

Exploring different hobbies

Working Out / Going to the gym / Going on hikes and runs

Partying & Drinking

Doing Drugs

Engaging in Flings

Shopping

Photography

- B I O G R A P H Y -

Originally from New York City.

Was born to a teenaged drug addict, and was put up for adoption the second she was born, only to be adopted a few short months later by Winston and Betty Bellevue, an older English couple in their late forties from the Upper East Side of Manhattan who had lived in London with four older children, up until a few years ago when they decided to relocate to New York.

Her father was one of the top cosmetic surgeons in the state of New York, while her mother was a leading patent attorney.

She had a great relationship with her parents, and though her siblings were significantly older than she was, she was still quite close to each and every one of them as well...despite some strong and even sometimes clashing personalities and views. They tended to be overly judgmental at times, particularly with Diamond, given that she was the baby of the family and due to her impulsive life choices. It often annoyed the hell out of her.

She was born with NAS, thanks to her birth mother, and later on when she was just a few years old, she was diagnosed with Bipolar, ARFID and a mild case of OCD.

Dime has always had an aversion to food, starting from infancy and that worried her parents greatly, because she pretty much refused most forms of food. She was diagnosed with ARFID in her youth, but it’s since turned into a full on eating disorder. She hardly eats anything, even when she feels hungry, but when she does, it’s only ever the bare minimum. Her appetite is just non-existent, and she wholeheartedly blamed her medication for a lot of it (though that’s just the excuse she uses to dismiss any concerns).

Despite her weak mental and physical health, though, Diamond led a pretty normal and happy life in Manhattan, with her family.

She was a major hobbyist, even as a child, and so she was always bouncing from one activity to another, easily bored with thing once she’d mastered it and always wanting to try new and exciting things. Dancing, vocal lessons, piano and violin lessons, painting, scrapbooking, journaling, photography, needlework...you name it, she’s very likely dabbled in it.

Dancing, painting and an interest in photography were things she still maintained an interest in. At the age of five, her parents put her in her first dance class and she fell in love with it. She learned ballet first, but quickly grew to love contemporary hip-hop, and to this day, she still danced and could have potentially went professional if the love for modeling hadn’t taken over her life.

She was first introduced to modeling at the age of nine, when she was scouted while in the mall with her mother, and after getting her parents’ consent, Dime was allowed to be signed to the agency and soon she began work as a child model. She absolutely loved it.

Of course, being a child model couldn’t last forever and once she reached 18, she discovered that it was harder and harder to find modeling work, and that the industry was one tough son of a bitch.

More than a little discouraged but not ready to give up on her dream altogether, Diamond decided to attend NYU Stern’s Fashion & Luxury MBA program while also continuing to book whatever work she could get within the city. During this time, in between her classes and the drugs and parties she began to indulge in, she started her first ever business, which was buying and reselling fashion and beauty products online. She’s still doing that to this day.

While in her second year at school, she met an older gentleman by the name of Jared, who worked as a bartender at one of the local clubs that she often went to with her friends. Although never officially calling what they had a ‘relationship’, that didn’t stop them from sleeping with one another quite frequently. It was a casual thing, and it didn’t mean much to her - she just liked the sex and the free drugs and booze he’d often provided her with.

At the age of 19, Diamond discovered that she was pregnant. When she told Jared about the pregnancy, she completely rejected the idea that he was the father, which did not come as much of a shock to her. He’d always been a douchebag, and she kind of expected it. Even so, she was still hurt by it, but refused to show it.

Pretending that she hadn’t been hurt by the rejection and being called a liar, Dime simply shrugged and moved on - after all, it wasn’t like she loved Jared or wanted anything from him in the long run. In fact, she very likely wouldn’t have even bothered to tell him about the baby at all, if it weren’t for her family encouraging her that it was the right thing to do.

Throughout her pregnancy and even after the birth of her son, Andre, Diamond continued going to school, determined to get her degrees. Having a baby young - though not something she had expected - didn’t at all deter her ambitions; in fact, it only drove her to work harder and smarter, wanting to secure some sort of financial success and security in order to raise her son and give him a good life. Much like the one she’d had with her own parents.

She was proud of the fact that her online business was doing exceptionally well with how profitable it really was, and that she no longer had to rely on her parents to fund her; she was now financially independent and that felt beyond amazing.

She also became a successful online influencer, doing modeling, makeup and fashion-related content on Instagram, Youtube and TikTok. 

With no luck of getting the kind of modeling work she really wanted in the Big Apple, the dream to become a full time fashion model slowly died over time. Quite saddened upon coming to the realization that it just wasn’t in the cards for her, the young single mother turned her focus on her next big dream: becoming an entrepreneur. Already with one successful business under her belt, Diamond knew it was the right choice in the end.

Once she was finished with her schooling, where she earned degrees in Fashion Business and Marketing, Diamond decided to move from New York to Roswell, New Mexico, to stay with her oldest brother, who’d moved there a few years prior, until she and Andre were comfortably settled and she could find a place on her own.

With her own hard earned money, she was able to buy a building in downtown Roswell and spent a few months renovating it, before only just recently opening her own dance studio, called SWAG Dance Studio.

Despite only just getting her studio up and running, Diamond already had plans for several more future business endeavors that she would likely implement in the coming few years, ever the ambitious young woman that she was.

Still, Diamond never stopped modeling whenever the opportunity of a good job came her way. She traveled constantly - nationally and internationally - and so, had a nanny for Andre and when they weren’t available, her brother would watch him.

- W A N T E D   C O N N E C T I O N S -

Oldest Adopted Brother - Diamond and her son Andre are currently staying at his home in Moonbeam Gardens. Suggested FC: Tom Hiddleston | Age: 37-40

Other (Older) Siblings (who are also adopted) - There are three other siblings, all older than Diamond but younger than her eldest brother. All of them are adopted, so ethnicity isn’t an issue. Suggested FCs: Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Zoe Kravitz, Gemma Chan, Emilia Clarke, Luke Pasqualino - but I’m more than open to other suggestions! (They’d all be between the ages of 26 - 36).

Best Friend(s)

Casual Friend(s)

People she can get high with (i.e., party friends, bad influences, etc.)

Drinking Buddies - people she can rely on to always be up for going out bar hopping or clubbing with. Kind of ties in with the bad influences and party friends.

Dancing or Workout Buddies - She loves to go dancing (she’s a trained dancer) and working out, either at the gym or going on hikes and long walks, so it would be fun to have someone she can go with.

Rivals / Enemies / Frenemies

Neighbors of Moonbeam Gardens

Babysitter / Nanny / Daycare - for Andre

Love Interests and / or Flings & One-Nighters - She’s got a thing for older men, so it would be fun to explore that a bit, in either a serious or casual fashion.

[juuls]

Pharmacist/Me = 1 🏆 Doctor/Nursing Staff = 0

Thank you in advance for reading this rant. I’ve been really frustrated and just needed to get this off my chest, and today at least I had a wonderful knight in a white lab coat. 🩺❤️‍🩹🥽🥼💪🏻

Content warnings and squicky squicks: (further down there is) an image of a medical vial with a clipped image of a more benign part of a syringe, health conditions (endometriosis, fibromyalgia), menstrual cycles and associated terms such as bleeding and other things, lack of empathy in my specific healthcare system, hysterectomies, pain, swearing and losing patience. Most important warning: self-administered syringes and injection discussions of legal medications (Depo-Provera) approved of by professionals and properly researched. P.S. this may sound rather Karen-like but I would never do this to someone’s face. Online ranting and acknowledging where I could do better is not the same as screaming in public for bossy requests or comps, etc. Ew.

Another ‘warning’… pharmacists being kick-ass allies and giving a damn about their patients.

I’m really annoyed because (and I know healthcare and scheduling is a clusterfuck right now, but…) for over a month now I’ve been trying to get an appointment in person to get this injectable medication that is, yes, birth control, but is also used for endometriosis in my case. And I have severe endometriosis (exacerbated severely by fibromyalgia, siiiiigh) to the point I bleed enough and lose so much I have to go to the hospital when my care is not properly preventative… like in this case, and the pain is unbelievably severe also to the point I’ve spent time in the hospital, including my 11th Christmas Eve and Day. I started this injectable medication at 13 because it was the only thing that came close to helping reduce my endometrial tissue. Even a hysterectomy wouldn’t help as much, unless they decided to go the super invasive route and remove all the organs (or parts of them) that had become ‘infected’ by the tissue. Again, tissue where it’s not supposed to be, and it causes extreme pain as the tissue tries to flush out of my body each period, even if it’s attached to, like, my pancreas. Just no. That does not work at all. No. That is not fun.

SO. I’m 31, nearing 32, and the doctor’s office knows this. I’ve had the same doctor since I was 10. Been on this medication nearly non-stop for just shy of two decades (with appropriate precautions such as bone density tests) because of the absolute severity of the pain and my inability to function when it hits… which can be months at a time of non-stop bleeding and morning sickness-level nausea and vomiting, migraines and the occasional complete inability to move—in other words, it’s debilitating.

My doctor (even the nurses, as it’s in large print at the top of my file in the system) knows all about this. They’re supposed to call me if I’m overdue by a certain margin (I get they’re busy but months and months???). But my doc’s also a bit of an airhead (albeit a smart one when he focuses) and takes forever to reply to anything on time, even when it’s a severe issue, but not severe enough to go to the hospital. But it’s gotten to the point where the nurses say to go to the ER and then the ER nurses and doctors there get SUPER pissed off (AT ME AND SOMEHOW NOT AT MY DOCTOR/NURSES AND THEIR ORDERS) at the ‘waste of time’, and it’s just a clusterfuck.

Oh yeah, and that ER visit while I was overdue for my injection? Internal intestinal bleeding along with a lovely, even if small, perforation in my fucking uterus from the growth of endometrial tissue. I MEAN COME ON — WHAT IN THE HELL. Totally preventable if they fit me in when I called literally over a month ago.

But I will not change my doctor (the other docs at the practice know what is going on and have offered to take me on, but they don’t have the experience with myself and my conditions or the history, but they can do little else because of professional conduct—it’s between myself and my doc) because he is the only one who treats me with humanity and understands fibromyalgia, endometriosis, pre-MS and pre-RhA/PsA, endo-related IBS, (ulcerative) colitis, and other neurological conditions with any degree of empathy. (See, I told you I’m a mess!) There is no way I’m switching offices in the perpetual shortage of doctors in Canada moving elsewhere for m o n e y (plus Covid-19 being a teen hooligan and constantly coming back to wreck more goddamn shit, including everyone’s sanity, then setting things on fire like the real hooligans in my village have been doing this summer — I mean… what in the hell!?!?), so with all that in mind I actually thank my lucky stars. So I put up with a lot of this shit because he treats me, besides him being an airhead, like an actual human being deserving of compassion and care and quality of life despite my severe disabilities and pain. So.

I’m usually treated really well (even if they often think I’m a nuisance for daring to be severely chronically ill/in pain all the time) so I try to be patient and good and understanding when I can.

But his STAFF (I know they’re busy and I’ve been patient but they’ve been so awful honestly to the point I cried hard enough my dad noticed my red eyes and frustration-tear fracks on my face)! And the doc himself’s inability to reply to notes on time even when urgent and when he knows the circumstances (I admit I am a bit of a hard patient so I can understand if he just kinda ignores me sometimes, honestly). But in this case I was THREE DAMN MONTHS LATE for my injection and they’ve always called in the past when I was coming due if it looked like I hadn’t scheduled an injection, so that I was all on time and squared away and didn’t risk severe pain and damage to my already-fucked hormonal system (learning I couldn’t have kids was absolutely heartbreaking, let me tell you, but even a hysterectomy in that case would solve nothing — this is by far the easiest option, especially considering how my fibromyalgia would fuck with my post-surgery recovery and leave me with lasting pain for years if not decades; sigh).

Anyway. So. After some ridiculous levels of back and forth and some truly remarkable levels of lack of compassion (she kept giving me the exact same, word for word response in a bored tone UGH) considering the severe pain I was in (I was told, in front of OTHER PATIENTS AND STAFF, that I could just wait until I talk to the doctor myself at my next phone appointment and then schedule my injection for my next MONTHLY followup — 4.5 months overdue at that point, it would’ve been — because, and I quote, ‘am used to dealing with pain because of my fibromyalgia and years of dealing with it and other conditions’ which they named in front of others!!!!!!!! what. the. fuck. But I kept my cool because I know all these people, my mom taught their kids music, they’re a fixture of the community, etc. and I refuse to be a Karen…. At least externally.

But here comes the nice part that makes me love our new (okay, he’s been here like 5 years but still, in a small town that’s pretty new lmao) pharmacist that much more. Rasik was aware of my frustration with the doctor and nurses and was even the one who brought to my attention that, at the time, I was 2 months late for my injection and he was a bit concerned since he’s privy to how much pain I exist in without throwing in one or more knives directly into my womb, ovaries, tummy, hips, and other areas my endometrial tissue has taken root. He’s such a sweetheart and he really does care for his patients— the work he does with my father’s diabetes (the tricky one where you’re not obese) management is above and beyond the call of a pharmacist and I will forever be grateful for that alone, never mind how he cares for me.

So I went in today to pick up another medication, after yet another frustrating stop-over at the nurses’ desks, and he suggested I ask for my injectable medication (it’s Depo-Provera, by the way) and the syringe plus the two tips necessary — I’m actually familiar with this since I had to learn epinephrine injections from an early age (not Epipen) and how to give testosterone daily to my ex-husband (sorry not sorry, dude, but congrats on your first kid *grouchy thumbs up*). But yeah! Legally he’s not allowed to suggest I give it to myself, but he was getting super fed up with the nurses and doctors dragging their feet and ‘being assholes with little empathy’ in his own words, so I took the hint and requested my vial plus syringe, as well as the drawing and injection gauge needles…. which he gleefully filled for me, and I reiterated that it was ‘fully my idea, not yours, Rasik, because everyone knows I’m dumb and would never think it’s you if something happened’ (I’m not dumb and I’ve given injections to others many times looool).

Long story short: HERE’S TO PHARMACISTS AROUND THE WORLD, BEING AMAZING AND CARING FOR THEIR PATIENTS AND ‘BENDING BUT NOT REALLY BENDING’ THE RULES TO MAKE SURE THEIR CLIENTS ARE CARED FOR PROPERLY. They are amazing and deserve every last bit of your courtesy, especially when they pull double duty every. single. day. because of Covid and their subsequent boosters. (i.e. boosters in the form of humans who are fucking stupid if they have no medical reason not to get the vaccine… I mean JFC.)

Rasik? You are amazing and I am 100% going to find you some Indian-Canadian (or North Indian; I believe that’s where he’s from originally) treats or desserts or make some myself after slyly asking his assistant what he leans toward liking.

Be kind to one another, yeah, but… my goodness: be kind to those who can truly make a difference in your health, sanity, and even life or death.

Pharmacists, volunteers, and frontline health workers: the true heroes of these times.

Thank you so much. So very much.

💜💙🇨🇦👨🏽‍⚕️❤️‍🩹🙏🏻

P.S. … now I just gotta stab myself intramuscularly after making sure there’s no air bubbles and etc., and swap out to the proper gauge needle (different, smaller, to draw from the vial, larger to inject so that it goes in more quickly and, oddly enough, hurts less haha). I don’t think air bubbles are as much of an issue as when injecting intravenously (ummm I have a doctor uncle and grandma nurse and nurse friends, so shush 😆). But I’ve done this for others and animals so I should be good! :)

I’m a smart enough cookie even if I’ve lost a few nibble-size pieces around the edges. 😉😘 buahaha

Cheers to my pharmacist!!!! You are amazing and I can’t wait for the pain and months and months of bleeding to settle down.

Remind me again why humans are the only mammals (animals?) with monthly fluxes? UGH wtf ever. 🙃

[kittysukagasterfics]

INCORRECT RP QUOTES ROUND 4

Inversion: Change is inedible.

Memoryhead: … Don't you mean inevitable?

Inversion, silently spitting out coins into his hands: No I do not.

–

Junior: I think I'm having a mid life crisis.

Zora: … You're eight.

Junior: I COULD DIE AT SIXTEEN.

–

Hero: I dunno when the middle of my life is, so I'm having a crisis that's still going.

–

Gaster: Hey, what time is it?

Sam: * You don't know...Pass the saxophone, you'll find out.

Sam: *plays the saxophone loudly and horribly off key*

Flowey from the other room: WHO THE %$@- IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING?!

Sam: * You tell Gaster that it's 2 A.M.

–

X: Okay, okay, stop asking me if I'm straight or bi or gay or whatever.

X: I identify as a threat.

–

Endis, watching the news: some idiot tried to fight a squid today.

Memoryhead, dumping acetone all over his ink stained coat: Well, maybe the squid was being a jerk.

–

Creator: You often use humor to deflect your trauma.

Zora: Thank you.

Creator: That's not a good thing.

Zora: What I'm hearing is you think I'm funny.

–

Sam: * Sorry you're late! Zora got banned from the chicken shack so you had to go out of town to get some...

Zora: Hey, they shouldn't have said "all you can eat" if they didn't mean it.

Flowey: YOU ATE A CHAIR YOU IDIOT!!!

Zora: Your point?

–

Sam: * How do you deal with your enemies?

Memoryhead: Kill them.

Sam: * That's… a bit extreme. You were hoping for a more passive solution.

Memoryhead:

Memoryhead: Kill them only a little...?

–

Sam, approaching New Home: * … They really threw everything out of the way and came all this way, just for you? How did they even get here so fast?

Zora, brushing her own blood off her hands: Several traffic violations.

RGB, fixing his slightly dusty hat: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Button, holding a small rifle: About 13 cans of energy drinks.

Inversion, slightly dizzy: Also, that's not our car.

–

Hope: Alright, what are some good responses to being stabbed with a knife?

RGB: Rude.

Inversion: … That's fair.

Sam: * Not again...

Creator: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

Sans: it sword of looks like you have a problem with me.

Alphys: I-I know it's th-the umm... the thought that- that uh counts, but, d-does this gift come with a... ummm... a-a receipt…?

Knockout: Oh no, I'm allergic.

Zora, who somehow got legitimately stabbed: Oh sweet, it comes with a free pocket!

Hope: . . .

Papyrus: *walks into the room* UMM, OW...? ARE YOU GUYS OK-

Hope, hugging him immediately: Thank you… for the normal answer...

Papyrus: ?????

–

Inversion: Have you seen Sam, Memoryhead, and Amber recently?

Gaster: They're playing hide and seek.

Inversion: Where?

Zora, wandering past: I don't think you get how this game works...

–

Sam: * Date someone who will take them outside at 3 A.M to go look at the stars!

Zora: If ANYONE drags me outside at three o clock in the &%@$#(+ morning to go look at the &%@+ sky I will remove them from my life indefinitely.

–

Gaster, struggling to keep upright in one inch square heels: Y-yeah, I don't think heels are for me...

Lucky, pointing at him whilst flawlessly walking past in six inch sparkly golden stiletto heels: W E A K .

–

Sam: * Violence isn't the answer.

Zora: … You're right.

Sam: *sighs in relief*

Zora: Violence is the question.

Sam: * What-

Zora, bolting towards Silas: And the answer is yes, he's dead meat.

Sam, rushing after her: * NO!!!

–

Glitch: Hewwo.

Assok: Hihiiiiii!!

Starscream: Greetings, organics.

Sam: * Three kinds of people.

Gaster, balled up on the floor: I want pudding.

Zora: Four, actually.

Snatcher, kicking in the door: WHAT'S UP FOOLS?!

Memoryhead: … Five.

Zora: And then there's us so technically six kinds of people.

–

Sam: * Croissants: dropped.

Hero: Road: works ahead.

Memoryhead: Barbeque sauce: on my tits.

Zora: Shavacado: fre.

Sans: miss keisha: %@(%-#+ dead.

Gaster, extremely grumpy: I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Wingding, mostly invisible: … Heard: you were talking -$@+ about me -wHEEEEEZE-

–

Sam: * In your defence, you were left unsupervised.

Gaster: Wasn't Negative with you?

Negative: In my defence, I was also left unsupervised.

–

Memoryhead: On a scale from "&#(@ Daniel" to "Fre sha vaca do," how are you feeling?

Sam: * In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you take down Captain America," but as a solid answer you'd probably say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger." You ask Zora about her answer.

Zora: Eh, probably "road work ahead."

Gaster, about ready to curl up and uncontrollably sob for 3 hours: I understand many languages and this is none of them.

–

Hero: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Flowey: Not if they consent to it.

Zora: Depends on who it is you're stabbing.

Sam: * YES?!?!?!

–

Sam: * You impulsively bought a snake, what do you name him?

Gaster: YOU DID WUAT-

Glitch: William Snakespear.

–

These are stupidly fun to do fhjdgdjdg

~~~~~~

Sam may not be able to play the saxophone but they can play a cowbell given the chance. And Sam buying or keeping any animal they come across is extremely accurate.

[threeletterslife]

On a Cold Summer Day

→ summary: Maybe deciding to leave California to attend uni in New York was the dumbest decision you've ever made. It's fucking freezing here! You don't think you can survive without the beach twenty minutes away from your living space. At least you have a native New Yorker Kim Seokjin to help you adjust. Kinda.

→ pairing/rating: seokjin x reader | PG-13

→ genre: 70% fluff, 30% crack | college!au

→ warnings: profanity, mentions of sex, implied sex, dating apps lol (tinder & bumble)

→ wordcount: 7.2k

cr. 

This is a motherfucking abomination.

They're asking you to come to class on a Monday at 8 in the morning??? What kind of fucking monstrosity was this? You thought college was supposed to be a goodbye to waking up early. Now you have to take your goddamn philo 101 class at the asscrack of dawn (okay, it's not exactly dawn, but still).

It's too early to be discussing Socrates and human ethics and all that head-aching shit. And even worse, it's fucking freezing in New York!

You're what people call the basic SoCal girl. You grew up with palm trees in your backyard. Anything below 80 degrees is enough to make you bring out your winter jackets (which aren't really real jackets either). In fact, your definition of a winter jacket is slipping on a lightweight flannel over your usual tank top.

But now, in New York, damn the weather wasn't kind. You wear a parka to class and when you're waddling about the campus, you look like a giant marshmallow. Honestly, it's a little humiliating.

It hasn't even been a month and you already miss California. God, you miss the sunshine. And also In-N-Out.

The college workload isn't as bad as you anticipated so even after attending your dreaded morning classes, you're left with a sufficient amount of time. You used to spend those extra hours on Tinder, passing left and right on guys with the swipe of your thumb as you drooled over their shirtless profile pictures.

But ever since you met Jungkook—

Ah, Jungkook. He was a very interesting story. How do you start telling this? Hm.

Well, it really started on the first day of college. The moment after you attended orientation, found your dorm, kissed your parents goodbye and said hello to your roommates, you revisited your trust-worthy dating app, Tinder while lounging on your bed. All that professional business on the first day of uni kind of made you horny.

Back in California, you had a few memorable encounters with your Tinder partners that left you blushing and hot-faced for weeks. When your high school besties found out you were moving away from the Golden State to attend NYU, they would not let it go about all the hot NYC men you would be able to, er for the lack of better word choice, bang.

So you were going to listen to them and hook up with a New York guy. And not even twenty seconds into your swiping party on Tinder, you spot him.

His name is Jeon Jungkook. 20. NYU student. Civil Engineering. Hot damn. You had to take a few seconds to stalk his profile before screaming internally and victoriously swiping right. Now you just had to wait until he swipes right on you. If you're lucky, maybe you could get laid tonight.

And lucky you were.

You dressed in a simple outfit (that'd be easy to discard) and met Jungkook at the Shake Shack for a casual date (in which the burgers are not as half as good as the burgers in In-N-Out). After some casual discussion that honestly didn't last too long, he took you back to his rented apartment.

And then you had the worst sex in your life. Not that Jungkook was lacking in the downstairs department, (no, no he was pretty measurable), but apparently he had a roommate that would not fucking shut up for the life of him. It's not a very sexy experience when you hear someone loudly rage quit Minecraft in the room next to you.

But you and Jungkook had both laughed it off. After all, the two of you already really clicked. And on your part, although you didn't quite have the perfect hook up, you found a likable NYC man. You were surely going to see him again.

See him again you did. Jungkook made sure his roommate would be gone this time before the two of you lay down on his couch and began watching some random rom-com. Halfway through, he initiated some making out, which was as perfect as making out could get. Until you muttered something about how "sexy a NYC man is."

Jungkook laughed so hard he almost fell off the couch. The rest of the night was not spent having sex. Instead, the two of you stayed up late talking about your home states, which both happened to be California. You were so excited about meeting another Californian that your horniness completely dissipated.

And from then on, you and Jungkook became close buddies with slight benefits. (You found him to be a better platonic companion than a sexual partner.) Mostly you came to him to rant about New Yorkers, and he would laugh at you, telling you that you would get used to it.

So, that was your story with Jungkook.

Now you're on your way to his apartment with some Shake Shack to-go so the two of you can watch Shark Tank (which you've been dying to see). When you finally reach Jungkook's apartment and knock on his door, to your surprise Jungkook doesn't answer it. Instead, a tall man—a handsome man—stands looking at your rather puzzled face.

He's so unbelievably hot that your breath hitches.

"Hey," the man says, grinning. "JK's girl?"

"I'm single," you blurt out, no doubt making googly eyes at the man in front of you. "I-I brought some Shake Shack," you offer. "Um, Jungkook and I were, like, supposed to hang out..."

"I'm here!" Jungkook's calls from inside the apartment. "Let her in, bitch!"

"Yesterday I was 'motherfucker' and today, I'm 'bitch,' apparently," the Bitch Man says. "I think JK's forgotten my name." When he laughs, you don't know why you feel flustered. "I'm Seokjin," he says, gesturing for you to come into the apartment. "But you can call me Jin. Or any variation. I don't really care. As long as it's not 'bitch.' " Seokjin glares at Jungkook who's snickering in the background.

"O-Okay," you say, stumbling into the apartment and nearly tripping over your own shoes as you place the takeout bag on the kitchen counter.

"Hey, Y/N!" Jungkook says, slapping your back as he greets you merrily as usual. "Long time no see! I have the show on TV already. You ready?"

"Yeah, yeah," you say quickly. "Dude, but like who the fuck is the hottie?" you whisper urgently to your friend. "Like I don't remember you telling me you know someone like that."

"Oh, him?" Jungkook snorts. "That's my roommate."

Your eyes turn wide as you gape open-mouthed at the handsome figure casually lounging on the couch already. "Shut up. He's the fucking Minecraft rage quitter??"

Jungkook laughs. "Yeah. Not so handsome anymore, huh?"

You're still in shock, stuttering to find an answer, but Jungkook laughs at your pathetic attempt, grabbing the Shake Shack bag and dragging you over to the couch.

"Dude, is he like going to hang out with us?" you ask Jungkook in a low whisper, nodding over at Seokjin who was busily using his phone.

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind," Jungkook tells you as he man spreads on the right side of the couch, putting you in the middle of the two men. "His Bumble date canceled on him last minute. So I'm trying to patch up his enormous ego."

"Fuck, of course I don't mind," you hiss at him. "But if you told me earlier, I wouldn't have come here in sweats. Like I thought it was weird that you ordered two burgers, but like I just thought you had a huge appetite today!"

"I think you look hot in sweats."

"Well, thanks." Wait. You freeze. That was definitely not Jungkook's voice. A blush creeps up your cheeks as you turn to your left, only to see Seokjin, gazing at you with friendly eyes and a bright smile. "O-Oh!" you sputter. "T-Thanks, Jin. Sorry, it's just that like, I, uh I take first impressions pretty... um, seriously."

The man on your left laughs out loud. "Y/N, my first impression of you was weeks ago. I heard you and Jungkook through the wall."

Your mouth drops open. "No."

"Yes," Jin insists.

"NO!" you shout, leaning back from Seokjin and squishing Jungkook in the process. "Were you trying to be a loud gamer to drown out our noises?!" you shriek.

"Yes?" Seokjin says so obviously that he even phrases it like it's a question.

"Oh, god," you groan, burying your face in your hands. "I'm sorry. I'm, like, actually so, so sorry."

Jungkook tries hard not to burst out laughing at your humiliation and even Jin can't help but grin.

"It's fine," Seokjin says. "You made it up to me with the burgers!" he exclaims, fishing out his Shake Shack hamburger from the bag and breathing in deeply. "Ahh," he sighs dreamily, "the best hamburger money can buy."

Okay. You have to admit that his perfect New York accent is hot, but you can't just ignore what he had just uttered. "I think In-N-Out has the best hamburger money can buy," you say, crossing your arms over your chest quite authoritatively. You tend to become quite defensive about Californian culture.

Jungkook snickers at how serious you've become in a matter of seconds but he stays silent.

Seokjin looks at you with his eyebrows raised and an amused smile on his lips. "Really?" he says. "You should get used to the Shake Shack then. We don't have In-N-Out around here."

Your mouth drops open for the second time today as you jerk your body around to stare at Jin. "What the fuck do you mean there's no In-N-Out?"

The man shrugs, relaxing back with his burger in hand and grinning at you. "I mean, we do have better burgers at the Shake Shack."

You groan, collapsing back on the couch and staring defeatedly at the bright TV screen. "I miss California."

"Jungkook went through the same thing," Seokjin assures you. You slowly turn your head to look at him. "I helped him assimilate to NYC life. And now look at him! He's so good at acting like a pure-blood New-Yorker that you even called him a 'sexy NYC man!' "

Oh, no. That particular memory sears through your head, leaving you flustered and quite frankly, frustrated.

"What?? How do you even—" you pause to glare at Jungkook who suddenly refuses to look your way. "I can't believe you told him, Jungkook!"

"We're roommates. We tell each other everything," Seokjin proudly says.

"Oh, god," you mutter under your breath.

"Seok's right, though," Jungkook pipes up. "He's the man to go to when you want to get into the NYC spirit! The dude was born and raised here. He knows everything you need to know about New York. Hang out with him a few times and you'll surely have to drop your SoCal girl status."

You huff. "But like I love being a SoCal girl!"

"We'll see how fast that can change," Seokjin grins.

This isn't a date... is it?

Seokjin had offered to take you out to wander about New York and guide you around to sight-see. He'd told you to dress casually, but how casual is New York casual?? You end up wearing a wine-red sleeveless romper and some cute gladiator sandals, which would honestly make you feel underdressed if you walked anywhere around LA like this.

But one step out into the cold night air, your teeth begin to chatter aggressively. Seokjin's already waiting for you outside of your dorm building and he laughs out loud when he sees you shivering violently.

"You sound like a woodpecker," he snorts. "You look cute, by the way."

"T-T-Thanks," you stutter. "Holy shit, Seokjin, how are you in a T-shirt and shorts right now? It's so motherfucking cold, goddammit!"

Jin throws his head to laugh—almost as if you told the funniest joke in the world. Which, you did not. "It's only 70 degrees, Y/N!"

"It is not!" you argue. "Shiver me fucking timbers, it has to be at least thirty degrees. Where's the snow??"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have worn a sleeveless romper then," Seokjin teases you. "Do you want to go back inside and change?"

"No!" you say. "It's called fashion. Back in California I could wear whatever the fuck I wanted. Like, do you understand that my wardrobe's being limited here??"

Seokjin shrugs, nudging you playfully as he gestures toward the night sky. The brisk air nips at your bare arms and tickles your nose, making you huddle closer to the man next to you. He merely smiles at your action and wraps a warm arm around you. "Welcome to New York, Y/N."

School keeps you busy for a good few months. Meeting up with Jungkook to rant about New York's rat problem and nasty subways while drooling over California's great wonders has become a rarity especially when you're trying hard to maintain your straight-A streak (literally since the day you were born). You haven't even touched Tinder on your phone for a good three months! (And that has nothing to do with the fact that you kinda might have a crush on Kim Seokjin.)

You've been texting him a few times a week (though you've never really gotten to meet up after your first, uh, "date." But the flirty texts he sends you and the promise of meeting up after all of your major exams makes you work twice as hard on your schoolwork. Jin also incessantly teases you about your strange Californian dialect, but you don't mind—especially when you can bag him for replacing every 't' sound with a 'd,' thanks to his New York accent. (He keeps pronouncing 'the' like 'da' and you have to admit, it's a little endearing.)

By the time Thanksgiving Break rolls around, you're deep in the process of organizing your lecture notes so you don't let yourself go out for a whole week.

And when Winter Break rushes in, you and Jungkook take off to California to reunite with family, leaving Seokjin to drown alone in the New York festivity while you and Kook enjoy a hot winter (literally). But the two of you make sure to come back to New York during New Year's to celebrate the iconic ball drop.

"I don't have to watch it on TV anymore!" you had said triumphantly.

When the countdown had signaled a New Year, you weren't lip-locking with either of your friends (but you didn't really mind). Instead, Seokjin had popped a bottle of apple cider (because you and Jungkook couldn't legally drink yet). Jin sipped his own champagne as he watched his younger friends get sugar drunk on apple cider.

All too soon, Winter Break is over. And now's the start of a new semester at NYU, but you already know your classes and professors so you finally let yourself relax. (Jungkook always tells you it's crazy how strongly you radiate work-hard and play-hard energy.)

Yet no matter how long you spend in New York, you just can't get used to it. It must be because you've mostly been stuck inside studying.

The moment you meet up with Jin again, you're brought into the world of New York once more.

"I missed your accent!" you yell as you nearly bulldoze over Seokjin to hug him when he opens the door to his apartment for you.

"Wow. You didn't miss me?" he jokes as he embraces you, tugging you into his apartment and closing the door behind you. "I thought you'd be happier to see me and not hear my insanely hot accent."

"Keep talking, please," you giggle, burying your face against his chest.

"You have no shame, Y/N," Seokjin sighs, but he lets you cling onto him as he waddles backward and towards the small living space with the TV set in it. "JK's out on Tinder date so the apartment is for us," he tells you as he practically throws you on the couch. "What do you wanna do?"

You huff, straightening up your clothes and glaring at Jin for tossing you. "I appreciate it. Like I'm totally not a fragile package," you mutter sarcastically. "I don't know. I guess we can, like, do anything. Are you in the mood of staying in..? Or, like, do you wanna go out?"

"Hmmm," Seokjin pretends to think. He collapses on the couch next to you, staring up at the ceiling with a thoughtful look on his face. "How about we go out?" he says. "You've been cramped up in your dorm room for so long, I think you need fresh air."

"It's like you can read my fucking mind," you grin. "Where to?"

"We're going to get some New York-style pies!"

"Oh, shit," you say. "I love pies."

Apple pie, blueberry pie, key lime pie... Fuck, I'm practically salivating already.

Seokjin winks at you, hoisting you up on your feet and marching toward the apartment door. "Pies, here we come!"

"I fucking thought we were getting pies, Seokjin. Like, dude. This is a pizza parlor," you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Oh, Y/N," Seokjin laughs, ruffling your hair with affection, but when you glare daggers into him, he stops with a nervous chuckle. "Well, we New Yorkers call whole pizzas, pies. It makes more sense that way."

You nearly rip out your hair. "How does that make sense? Pizza and pie are two completely different things! What do you call your pies then??"

"We call them pies!"

"Huh??"

"Whatever," Seokjin snorts. "You need to get used to all of this New Yorker dialect and slang," he says, nudging you. "What do you want on your pizza pie? I'm getting a whole one so JK can have the leftovers."

"Um, I usually get cheese, mushrooms, goat cheese and oregano," you say. "But, like, I'll take anything except pineapples. Pineapples on pizza is a fucking sin."

Jin gasps loudly, putting a hand on his heart. "I always put pineapples on my pies!"

"Oh no. Don't tell me you're one of those people," you groan. "Come on, Jin, I thought you knew better! Like I swear, it's a New Yorker thing—"

"Don't you try to put the blame on New York!" Jin says. "Besides, JK likes pineapples on his pizza pies too, so maybe you're the weird one."

"God, not Kook too."

"Well, we'll get half with pineapples and half without," Seokjin compromises. "How does that sound?"

"Abominable," you mutter under your breath. If there are pineapples anywhere on the pizza, every slice will still have that disgusting tangy taste to it.

"Sorry?"

"I-I mean, that sounds great!" you feign an over-enthused look on your face as you pump your fist in the air. "But you're paying."

Seokjin rolls his eyes but agrees.

And the rest of the time spent goes rather smoothly. The two of you poke fun at each other as usual, and you only mildly get offended when Seokjin pulls the:

"Hey, Y/N?"

"Mm?" you say with your mouth stuffed with pizza (you never thought New York-style pizza could beat the Californian-style but here you are).

"I need to ask you one more thing before we wrap up and I walk you to your dorm," he says, handing you a napkin when you finally swallow your food.

"Thanks," you say. "Ask away."

"I've always wondered," Seokjin says as he leans forward, resting his chin on his upright hand, "why do you excessively say the word, 'like?' "

You let out an unflattering yelp, almost choking on your own spit. Quickly, you take a sip of your ice-cold water to ease the scratchiness of your throat. "Like, what do you mean?" you manage to choke out after an embarrassingly awkward pause.

"I mean, I'm just curious why you say 'like' every five seconds," Jin says, cocking his head. "Is it a SoCal thing? Or a Y/N thing?"

"It is not a Y/N thing! Like a lot of other girls do this, I swear. And it's not like I wanna say it," you huff. "I guess it's like this kind of habit that I, like, can't really get rid of. I dunno. I've heard it was a SoCal thing, but like I'm not too sure."

"Five," Seokjin says.

"What?"

"You said 'like' five times in approximately fifteen seconds," Jin says. "That's about one 'like' every three seconds. That's quite a lot. And I take back my previous hypothesis in which I said you said 'like' every five seconds. I guess it was three."

"I literally hate you!" you scoff. "When did you get all mathematician with me?"

"Since I applied to NYU as a compsci major," Seokjin answers, "which was about three years ago."

You huff. "Whatever I'm gonna major in, I hope it's not related to math."

"Come to think of it," Jin hums, "I never got to know your major." He brushes the pizza crumbs off from his hands and stands up to toss the used napkins away in a nearby trash can.

You stand up as well, taking up the pizza box as Seokjin guides you out of the pizza parlor. "I'm undecided," you tell him. "Like I really don't know what I want to do."

"Well, you're an undergrad, so you'll find something you'll like soon," Jin assures you. "You've got time."

"Thanks," you smile. "Honestly, you're the GOAT."

"Excuse me, I'm a what?" Seokjin looks mildly offended.

"The GOAT?" you say. "You're not even in your thirties yet, keep up!"

"A goat??" Jin bellows. "A fucking barn animal??"

You want to facepalm but your hands are occupied with the pizza box. "The Greatest Of All Time???" When Seokjin still looks puzzled, you shake your head, "Might wanna check out Twitter now and then, old man."

"Maybe that's a California thing!" Jin protests. "It's totally a California thing. I mean, look, Y/N, New Yorkers aren't that crazy to go around calling people barn animals."

"New Yorkers are definitely crazier than Californians," you say. "Oh, and we have to cross the street soon, my dorm's close."

"No way in hell we're crazier than you," Seokjin snorts. "C'mon we can cross the street here."

The here that Seokjin's refers to is a street full of cars and no pedestrian crossing. "Are you really suggesting that we jaywalk?" you say incredulously. "This just proves my point further!"

"What?? Jaywalking is normal," he argues. "Plus, it saves time. We New Yorkers are busy!"

"Puh-lease," you say. "You won't be so busy when you're dead," you point out. "There was this girl who went to my high school, right? And like one day we all heard that she died after some stupid car hit her when she was jaywalking. Dude, her boyfriend's still mourning her death. I think his name was Taehyun. Or Daehyung. Or Taehyung? I don't remember. But my point is," you pause dramatically, "that I don't want to die so we should not jaywalk."

"Californians are way too laid back," Seokjin sighs. "Fine!" He throws his hands into the air. "We'll find a crosswalk, then. I'll spare your life."

You giggle, nudging him to the side. "Thank you. Chivalry is not dead."

"Shivering is definitely not dead either," Jin jokes. "It's only sixty degrees, Y/N. And you're wearing a whole coat! Do you really need me to give you my jacket?"

"Oh shut up," you say, hugging the warm pizza box closer to your chest. "New York at night is freezing. Like I still haven't gotten used to it. And no, I don't need your jacket," you scoff, upturning your nose away from Jin.

"Fine, but if you become a frozen popsicle, I'm selling you off to a museum."

"Wow," you deadpan. "I rescind what I said earlier. You are not the GOAT. You are the WOAT."

"I don't have to be a genius to understand what that acronym is," Jin snorts. "And I am not the worst of all time. That's Jungkook. You know, he brought in his Tinder date again yesterday and they've been really, really loud in the bedroom. I can't fucking sleep."

"Oh, poor Jinnie," you coo. "What are you gonna do?"

"I just blasted the Baby Shark song yesterday on my speaker and they stopped on their own," he shrugs. "It's an instant turn-off, apparently."

"That's evil!" you cry. "But so genius."

"I know, I know," Jin laughs. "Any more song suggestions to prevent Jungkook from banging at the craziest hours of the night?"

"Hm..." you say. "What about the Winx Club theme song? Or the Pokémon theme song? Or, oh my god, like what about the Sofia the First theme song???"

"What the fuck are the Winx Club and Sofia the First?" Jin says.

"No way," you say, shivering slightly when a gust of wind decides to torment you and your hair. Pulling the strands of your hair from your mouth, you yell, "You're missing out! I grew up with the Winx Club! And I only watched Sofia the First because my younger sister liked it so much."

"You have a younger sister?" Seokjin asks. "Well, figures. I'm an only child so the only things I watched as a kid were Transformers and the Avengers." He snorts. "Maybe a little bit of Pokémon."

"Dude, I could name all 151 Pokémon from Generation I," you say. "I was obsessed."

"Oh yeah? I can name all 807!" Seokjin declares. "Every one of them from Generation I to VII."

"God, you have me beat," you giggle, shrugging your shoulders. “I thought you watched only a little bit of Pokémon!” 

“Maybe I just have a fantastic memory,” Seokjin teases.

You roll your eyes, though you’re grinning uncontrollably. Sighing, you turn to a stop in front of your dorm building, holding out the pizza box for Jin to take. "Oh, wow, what do you know? We're already here."

"That went by quickly," Jin laughs, taking the pizza box. "Time always flies quickly with you."

You don't know if he really meant the last part, but you blush an embarrassing color of fire-engine red of which you hope he can't see because of the darkness.

"I agree," you admit. "I had fun. And thanks for the pizza. New York-style reigns over what I'm used to back in California."

"No problem," Seokjin grins fondly at you. "Guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah," you smile. "Just text me whenever Jungkook's being too loud on his sexscapades. I'll send some good turn-off music recommendations like right away!"

Seokjin laughs, nodding his head in agreement. "I can't wait."

I can't wait either.

Your crush on Seokjin literally amplifies by tenfolds every time you hang out with him, which is quite often these days.

One "date" with Jin had turned into two. Two turned into three. Then, five, then eight. Now you're seventeen "dates" in, you and Jin have yet to define your relationship with each other. But you suppose you don't mind.

It isn't very often that you're so emotionally attracted to someone. I mean, how long has it been since I liked someone before I had sex with them??

But your relationship with Seokjin is special, and you're willing to drag on these "dates" (at least you hope they're dates) if it means that you and he will eventually become a couple. Unless Seokjin's not attracted to you in that way.

But that's crazy. Who isn't attracted to you in that way?? Okay, maybe a lot of guys. But you've always had a sixth sense when it came to men! Usually, you crush on the same ones that like you back. So maybe something could really blossom out of your current relationship with Kim Seokjin.

Unless he friendzoned you the moment he heard you have sex with Jungkook.

You are in quite a dilemma.

Two weeks later, your dilemma has extended from your love life to your academic life. There is pressure from your parents and peers to choose a major—especially since you've already lasted one semester in college already.

You have to start studying for the final exams as well. And everything is driving you nuts.

You've always considered going to med school, but law school doesn't sound so bad either. You have to choose your majors according to what job you want to have in the future, but you don't know what you want to do at all! You're just really good at doing what you're given to do. So, honestly, if someone pulled a random major from a hat, you could probably take it and do something with it.

Hm. That idea doesn't sound that bad.

You end up FaceTiming Seokjin for guidance.

"Well, you look like you haven't gotten sleep," he comments when he sees your dark circles and frenzied hair.

"I need to choose a major," you tell him immediately. "Like, right now. In the next twenty minutes or I'm going to blow."

"Oh, shit. How can I help?"

"Okay, so I made this huge list of NYU's majors and like all you have to do is randomly scroll through the list and pick one!" you say. "Easy! Whatever you pick, I'll do it!"

Seokjin scrunches his face. "I don't think that's a good idea, Y/N. What if I pick something insane? Like bagpiping? Or mining?"

You roll your eyes. "I don't think NYU even has those majors. C'mon pick one, hurry up! I'll close my eyes. Tell me when you're done."

Seokjin looks at the long list of majors you had sent him, shaking his head at you in disbelief. He doesn't want you potentially ruining your future because he picked a shitty major for you. And you looked pretty serious about this idea too. As if the moment Seokjin chose a major, you'd pick it and run with it.

Jin's not going to jeopardize your future like that. He doesn't even have to look at the list to declare what he thinks would be best for you. (And besides, if you didn't like it, you could always change majors... And if you couldn't change majors, you can't really blame it on him because you made him choose randomly. So it would be your fault. So either way he's immune!)

"I landed on business management," Seokjin says. "You can open your eyes."

Your eyes are wide the moment you open them. "Management?" you gasp. For a second, Seokjin thinks you're going to throw a tantrum, but a huge grin erupts on your face. "Oh my god! Management! Why didn't I think of that before?? It's perfect! Thank you, Jin! Thank you so much! You're literally fucking magical."

Seokjin's almost taken aback by your positive response but he plays along with it rather coolly. "I am pretty fucking magical. You're welcome."

"You just reduced my stress levels by fifty percent," you say, sighing as you fall back on your bed. "I still have to study for all my final exams... Not very fun... You know, back in California, if I ever felt stressed out or something, I'd, like, drive to the beach for a fun day with friends."

Seokjin cracks a smile. "Yeah, well we have sewage water here in New York. You can swim in there if you miss the beach so much."

"Sounds appetizing," you deadpan. "One day, I'm going to take you to SoCal and show you the beaches."

"That honestly sounds great, Y/N," Jin says. "Never been to the beach before."

Your jaw drops open in shock. "No fucking way, Jin. No fucking way."

"Well, you never saw snow before until you came to New York," Jin points out.

"Yikes," you mutter. "Touché."

Seokjin smiles fondly at you before shaking out of his little reverie. "Hey, you have to study, right? I'll stop bothering you."

"Oh, please," you laugh. "You're not bothering me. I feel even better now. Not even a beach trip could elate me to this extent."

And it's true. Just talking to Seokjin for a few minutes dissipates all of your pent-up stress. And you have one less problem to worry about—you finally have an idea about what major you want to pursue! Seokjin is a walking miracle.

Maybe after your exams, you'll have to ask him out on an official date. If you don't chicken out, that is.

It is officially summer!

You've maintained your straight A's, have finally decided your major and even found a part-time job at a local thrift shop. Life is great.

It would've been better though if one, it wasn't so fucking cold during May and two if you were dating Seokjin.

Jungkook's been teasing you about how head-over-heels whipped you are for Jin, but you threaten to hack into JK's Tinder account and lock an unflattering photo of him on his profile picture whenever his teasing becomes extremely annoying. It's so strange that you've been stuck on one crush for nearly eight months now since usually, you have a new 'boy toy' every other week.

Seokjin is special.

So special that you literally gave up your hookups. And sex. You also deleted your Tinder account. You are serious about this man.

There's something about him that makes your insides twist in a funny way and your heart feel warm and fuzzy whenever he texts you. Have you mentioned how attentive to your needs he is? The man's a genius gift-giver! On your birthday (April 4th), he bought you an embroidered double-sided jacket that not only made a bold fashion statement but also kept you warm in the abominable New York weather.

God, you might even love this man.

You should confess to him soon before some other girl snatches him. But it seems as if Seokjin has stopped going on dates, and the only girl he actively hangs out with is you. (You had to ask Jungkook to figure that out.)

So maybe you have a chance.

And today is the day to act upon it.

Seokjin promised to take you out on a walk around Central Park after you finished your shift at the thrift shop. He's eagerly waiting with a warm cup of hot chocolate for you by the time you're finished.

"Hey!" you say, beaming. "Thanks for the drink."

"No problem," Seokjin answers, winking at you before sipping his own ice coffee. "Central Park's about forty minutes away from here. Are you up for the walk?"

"I walked around a lot in California so maybe I should ask you if you're up for the walk," you smile, strutting out of the shop with Jin quickly at your heels.

"Where's there to walk in California??" he asks when he catches up to you.

"Oh my god, Jin. You're forgetting about all the cool shit in LA!" you say. "I walked to Urth Cafe like every day after school with my friends. And then like we'd have these photoshoots on Melrose Avenue... Man, sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I went to UCLA."

"You got accepted into UCLA??"

"Yeah," you say sheepishly. "I'm kind of glad I didn't go, though." You would’ve never met Seokjin.

"Oh?" Seokjin laughs. "Are you finally getting accustomed to New York, then?"

"No way," you say, shaking your head fervidly. "Dude, do you not see the jacket I'm wearing right now? It's freezing! And you're wearing a short-sleeve shirt!"

"It's the jacket I bought you!" Jin exclaims, smiling. "Well, the weather here's something you gotta get used to. By the time you graduate, though, you'll be fine."

"I hope so," you say. "I really, really hope so."

"But I mean, other than the weather situation, I feel like New York is your home now," Jin says. "You like the people here, at least, right?" He bats his eyelashes flirtatiously and you roll your eyes, though the butterflies in your stomach wake up from their slumber. "How have your Tinder dates been?"

"Oh, uh..." You awkwardly scratch your head. "I deleted my account."

Seokjin laughs out loud. "Oh no! Were the New York guys not cutting it??"

You flush, biting your lip and twiddling with your fingers. He kinda put you on the spot, here. Maybe you should come clean now...? You originally planned to confess at Central Park, but maybe it’s smarter to confess earlier. (That way, if he feels the same you two can have your official first date at Central Park. And if he doesn't feel the same way, the two of you can go home before visiting Central Park to avoid awkwardness. It's a master plan!)

"Well, I wouldn't know," you shrug coolly. "The only New York guy I had sex with turned out to be a Californian dude in disguise," you giggle. "And... I just didn't find the need to get with other guys."

"Oh?" Seokjin smiles amusedly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Like, I don't know," you sigh. Your head is jumbled with words you've recited and also the words that you just thought of to string together. Your chest feels heavy and your stomach twists in knots but you force yourself to follow through. With a deep breath you let it all out: "I guess like I've had a teensy weensy crush on you since like the moment we met," you start slowly, carefully. "And I'd uh, I'd like to officially date you, if you, like, feel the same way as me..." you trail off, looking at Seokjin to figure out if his initial reaction would give away his true feelings toward you.

But to your utmost relief, he grins. That's a good sign—it has to be!

"Y/N..." he smiles. "Five. Again! In twenty seconds this time! One 'like' in every four seconds. You're slowly getting rid of your SoCal dialect, look at that!"

When Seokjin sees the unamused look on your face, he throws his head back and laughs. "I was just teasing you, love," he says. "You know, I deleted Bumble the day I met you in person?"

"Really?" you squeal, turning to Jin with such high velocity that you almost spill your hot chocolate. Your insides melt, and your head repeatedly echoes the way he had called you 'love.' You feel faint.

"Yeah," Jin says. "So we're official, aren't we?"

"Hell yes!" you say.

"Our first date is at Central Park," Jin laughs. "This was the best timing ever. It's even in the summer. You know, when everyone scrambles to find love. We don't have to look anymore!"

You snort, linking your arms together and leaning onto Seokjin—who just now became your boyfriend. "I still can't fucking believe it's summer," you sigh, shaking your head. "Like dude, it's so fucking cold that I'm drinking hot chocolate!"

"Oh!" Seokjin exclaims. "Right! The hot chocolate?"

"What?"

"Open the lid, please," he grins. "A pleasant surprise will be waiting for you."

Carefully, you do as he says, only to find the white cream on the hot chocolate to be shaped into a sort-of mangled heart. You gasp, staring at the heart in utter shock. "Were you going to ask me out today??"

"You beat me to it," Jin laughs. "Saved me the trouble, love."

The butterflies in your stomach flutter about every time he calls you that (which was only two times so far, but still).

"We're really meant to be, then," you giggle.

"Like, we really are."

Seokjin taught you many things. How to be a good New Yorker without even being a native. How to hail a taxi gracefully. How to get a seat on the Subway. How to order the best pizza pie ever. And most of all, he taught you commitment.

Never have you been this committed to a man in all your life. That being said, you've only lived for nineteen years. But then again, it's hard to change your habits of being finicky with guys in your high school years. Yet they're changed now.

You've said goodbye to Tinder, to hookups, to meaningless sex. You've said hello to your boyfriend, to continue your pursuit of business management, to navigate around New York.

July becomes your favorite month quite easily when you realize it is possible for New York to have hot weather too. You bring out your short skirts and tank tops and have a fashion show every day choosing which outfits to wear. (Seokjin becomes your personal outfit-picker against his will.)

You have to say, New York isn't so bad. You haven't really missed California at all for a while.

"You know," you tell your boyfriend as he braids your hair for you so you can complete your outfit of the day with a stylish, “effortless” side braid.

"Hm?" Jin answers, his tongue peeking out of his lips from hard concentration.

"I think I'm getting used to this place," you say, turning around to smile at your boyfriend.

Seokjin laughs, tying your braid in place before leaning in to kiss your lips. "Finally!" he says between small pecks. "It took you awhile."

"Oh, come on. It didn't take me that long. It hasn't even been a year yet!" you protest. "I love New York. Honestly!"

Your boyfriend smiles. "When do you think you'll start to talk in a New York accent?"

"Never!" you say. "I'm keeping my 'likes' and 'dudes,' thank you! I have to keep some part of my Californian self."

"Oh, trust me," Seokjin snorts. "You will never lose the fashion-crazed part of you. Please don't make me fly on a plane to go to Coachella."

"Damn, you know me too well," you huff. "Fine. No Coachella. But I want to take you down Hollywood one day. Or at least Urth Cafe. No, holy shit, I need to take you to the beach! Or In-N-Out! There are so many places to go in LA! I'll be the best tour guide ever, Jin!"

"Aw, love," Seokjin says, nuzzling your nose against his. "I can't wait for my tour in the Golden State with my native Californian girlfriend."

"I can't wait either!" you giggle, kissing his lips while placing your hands against his soft cheeks. "I had the wonderful experience of getting my own, personal native New Yorker tour guide, so it's only fair I let you on a tour around my home state too!"

"We'll go during winter break, how's that?" Seokjin says. "We can celebrate Christmas in California."

You grin. "It'll be a tropical Christmas. You up for that?"

"I'm down!" Seokjin says. "I've never lived through a hot winter before. I'll have to see all the rave about California myself."

You wink at him. "You'll love it. Like, really, really love it."

"If I don't, you have to try pineapple pizza pie," Seokjin says. "Bet."

"Oh, you're on!"

All too soon, summer is over and the fall season creeps upon you and the rest of New York City. The freezin' season is back and ready to haunt you and turn your mornings into motherfucking abominations.

Except, it's not as cold as you last remember it. Maybe this year's winter in New York will be warmer for whatever reason. Or maybe it's because Seokjin always does a great job of keeping you warm when it's cold. (You definitely think the latter is the true answer.)

Because with Seokjin, even waking up on Mondays at 8 in the cold fucking morning isn't so abominable after all.

masterlist

[crushzone]

🎬 About Me

Original art of me and my fictional hubby, Ukai Keishin, by @achieve-the-sun​, posted with permission. 💕 

Hi there!

My name is Nin and I am the founder of Crushzone Cinema Theater. 📽 🍿 

🎬 THE BASICS

Age: 23

Birthday: December 24th

Pronoun: She/her

Education: Graduated with a dual degree in Film and Global History

Occupation: Is currently a film freelancer in the camera department, who desperately needs money to pay rent every month lol.

Likes: 

- The sound of rain tapping on my window

- Watching my plants rise and droop to the moving sun

- Cooking and experimenting with different cuisines; Japanese, Thai and Chinese are some of my favorites.

- Giving my husband and my cat their head rubs every night.

- Drawing, painting, and photography. (Here’s some of my works!)

- The feeling of accomplishment after you’ve gone through SO much for a project with your peers. To work on your own movie or short film, and finally seeing it done, is such a rewarding experience.

- To eat my Mac and Cheese with ketchup, nutritional yeast, and steamed broccoli. (Fight me lol. 🦖 )

- Eating chips with chopsticks.

- Medjool dates with a spoonful of crunchy peanut butter 😋 

-Wearing oversized clothes, especially hoodies.

- Sitting at my reading nook, with my cat next to me on the chair.

Dislikes: 

- The buzzing sound bees make when they fly.

- Slipping on my own chunk of hair on the ground; I have a lot of hair and I shed a lot.

- The heat, I may be from Thailand, but I am very much done with the blaring heat. One second I’ll look real cute with my face all done up, but the moment I step out, it’s already melting from my face.

- Going to sleep; there’s SO much more I could be doing right now!

- When my bangs desperately need a trim and is poking my eyes.

- Poor lighting, doesn’t matter if it is real life, just light it like you’re IN a film!! It’s so much more dramatic that way! (For real, come to my house, every corner is lit with some sort of a look/mood 😏)

- Loud noises; when people are yelling all the time, or something is loud, I get nervous when I can’t hear my own thoughts.

- People with bad attitude, a temper, or is just kind of mean in general. There is absolutely no excuse for you to be that way, and nothing productive comes out of it. Nuh-uh.

🎬 FUN FACTS

My parents hired a piano teacher when I was in elementary school, but because I didn’t enjoy her company (for some reason), I refused to absorb information. Little did I know, it would backfire me and would have absolutely no effect to her pay.

I’m that kid who always has 4 spare pencils and 5 erasers to lend out to my peers.

Will serenade to my cat every morning and night, so if you are ever my roommate, I apologize for my horrible singings.

Performed as a cave and pot in my high school production, and lemme tell ya, it is more difficult than it sounds.

Has no problem doing laundry in the morning, but the moment the sun falls, I will be too afraid to go down into my basement to do it. Some may say that it is an excuse for me to put laundry off for the next day, but I always tell my husband that there’s a “Babadook” in there. 👀

One time I stepped on a millipede, and I cried for 2 days because I felt really bad for it.

I’m actually VERY shy most of the times, so if you see me laughing a lot like a hyena, then it’s likely that it’s just me being awkward. OR I may just be having a good time, who knows.

I’m awful around kids, I am SO awkward and will stiff up like a rock (if you see me doing that, pls come safe me). One time this kid asked me why I laugh so much, so I simply just laughed some more while backing out of the room slowly. 🤦‍♀️ 

🎬 SOME FUN QUESTIONS!

What is something you wish you were gifted at doing?

I wish I could sing. My husband is a musician, and it looks like he’s having so much fun. There’s just something so freeing about it, as if it’s another language that takes time to become fluent in, but when you are, it’s so captivating and expressive. I don’t think I’m an awful singer, but is just too incredibly shy to sing in front of others. 

What is the first movie you remember seeing in theater?

It may had been Disney’s Dinosaur (2000), not sure. All I remember was that there were a bunch of dinosaurs on screen, may had even been 3D with those glasses.

At one point, a tiger jumped at the screen, and I started crying. My mom and brother wanted to finish the movie, so my dad had to sit outside with me, until it was over. It was chill tho, my dad was teaching me different dinosaur names. 👶 🦖 🦕 

What is the first thing you do when you get home?

Pants off, baby!! I don’t usually wear a bra, but if do, then I guess it’s bra’s off first. Then I instantly hop into my plaid boxer shorts hehee. 🤭 

What has been the hardest thing for you to face or learn?

That people go through different stages of their life at different paces, and that is totally okay. When I was younger, I would always overwork, and as a result, I don’t really have a lot of time for myself. I did that, mostly, because I wanted to get a head start at everything, especially at my career. Now that I am 23-24, and had just graduated from Class of 2019, I’ve been getting film gigs since I was a sophomore, and is now a full time freelancer. 

Yet, I was not satisfied, because I got to work with a 21 y/o in a position that was under her, and it made me feel momentarily incompetent; like I wasn’t doing well enough. But it will never be enough if that’s the mindset; I never considered that she skipped university and went straight into film, so circumstances were entirely different.

Meanwhile, there’s someone 10+ years older than me who is struggling to get the work I’d get, and that is okay too. What I should’ve done is feel happy for her, and use that to motivate myself to improve.  As long as I never give up, and continue to do my best with a good attitude, everything will be just fine.

If you could give your younger self any advice what would it be?

That it’s okay to take a break sometimes, live life a little, and cherish all the happiness, sadness, heartbreak, and struggles that you are going through right now. Every tear will make you stronger, and genuine every smile will eventually pull you through. 

Time goes by very quickly, and every stage in your life is a part of you, so make sure you remember how you get to where you are well.

Do you see the glass as half empty or half full?

Half full, just grateful that there’s any liquid in the glass at all, and is excited to acquire more with all the space I’ve got on top, ya know? 🤷‍♀️ 

What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?

That if you whistle at night, the ghosts will come find you. Or if you play hide and seek at night, then you’ve opened up some kind of portal that the ghosts will kidnap you away from this dimension forever.

Tbh, I think my grandma was just sick of me trying to learn how to whistle when I was in elementary school and of me running around the house at night, so she made these omen up lol.

What time do you usually get up in the morning?

Used to wake up at 13:00-14:00 all the time, but since I married an early bird, I’ve been up at 6:30-7:00 lately.

What time is your usual bed time?

Heeheee 1:00-2:00 in the morning, oops.

How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you?

I have the loveliest older brother in the world, he’s 4 years older, and is very smart, diligent, athletic, and funny. Me being the only daughter, my parents are incredibly protective, so they’d always have my brother do everything for me. 

It was a relief when I was younger, but as I enter high school, it became a little frustrating; I felt like I was living under his shadows and can never be considered independent. They’d also spend a lot more time training with him cuz he’s a national competitive swimmer.

Because of that, I had a lot of time to myself, so I experimented with my own interests and grew in my own way. As I’ve grown, I can definitely say that it’s made me a lot more independent and introverted haha. I absolutely dislike depending on anyone (Will be my last resort), but it’s also nice to know that whenever either of us fall, we’ll always have each other’s back.

#tag games with Nin 🎮

Learn even more about me through various tag games I participated!✌️ 

#chats with Nin

My previous responses, rambles, vibe checks, and many more!

And please drop by my ask box and chit chat, I love interacting with you all! 👋 

>>> Back to Ticket Booth Navigation 🎟

[mental-health-advice]

when i was 13 an 18 y/o convinced me to secretly date him for a while, i managed to end it before things got too weird bc he made me really uncomfortable and wasn't very nice so nothing too bad really happened. but at the time i never realized how serious it was and never reported him to the police despite having evidence of him soliciting nudes and other stuff that could have probably got him on a sex offender registry if not sent to prison, the evidence is long since lost though and for years i've worried that he was out there hurting young girls when i could have stopped him. last night i googled him to see if he'd been arrested and found out he killed himself a couple of years ago. i'm sorting through a lot of mixed emotions like relief but also guilt and sadness and i'm not sure how to feel. i'm even wondering if maybe what he did wasn't that bad at all since he never actually hurt me. any advice on how to process what i'm feeling? should i be giving him the benefit of the doubt or forgiving him? it feels wrong to be relieved even though he was dangerous

Hey there,

I am so sorry that you had to go all of this with the 18 year old. I am glad that you were able to end things though but still, no minor or anyone really should have to experience what you had to. Hopefully I will be able to help you process everything and especially his death and how this has left you feeling!

I myself was sexually abused as a minor and despite everything that I went through I felt unable to report him. My reasoning was that no one would believe me and that it would just ruin the whole family and so I felt it would be best to just keep my mouth shut and to just keep to myself and trying not to be put in a situation where I was alone with him (he was my Dad’s Dad!) So for you to even think about reporting this older person, I admire you so much for this, and I know that if you did go down that path then it would’ve been really hard but I also see your inner strength and know that you would’ve been able to do this!

Like yourself, I too have had fears that he could hurt others and especially my 3 year old niece as my family are back in contact with my Dad’s parents despite now knowing what happened and went on for many years. I know that the simple answer to fix this fear would be to report the abuse but I never felt like I could and especially as my family have resumed contact with them and act like nothing ever happened. We all have our own reasons though for not reporting abuse though and it’s hard but you have to do what feels best and right for you and just try to move on from there the best you can! For some, reporting the abuse is what’s best for them but for other people the thought can be really scary and overwhelming and especially if you don’t feel like you have the support from others to help you through! So with this being said, please don’t be too hard on yourself and especially when it comes to whether he has hurt others or not. You were only doing what felt right for you at the time!

In regards to this older person committing suicide, I can only imagine what you must be going through and feeling! The truth though is that you may never know why he killed himself and what else was going on for him in his life. Maybe someone else had reported him to the police and he wanted an easy ‘get out of jail’ free card so thought it would be easier to end his life than face the consequences of what he did. This is just one assumption though so please know that he could’ve done it for many, many different reasons.

In terms of your mixed emotions, do you or have you ever spoken to a counsellor or a therapist? If not then this may be helpful for you as they can help you to better understand and cope with all that you are feeling and at your own pace and time. I do think that you have answered your own question though in regards to whether you should feel relieved or not despite him being dangerous. Feeling relieved when something like this has happened will always feel somewhat wrong to a degree but at the same time you can’t forget what he has done and so even if it feels really wrong, you also have a right to feel safer and relieved that he is no longer alive. Does that make sense?

I really hope that this has been helpful and please know that we are here for you to help support you through or even just to listen. You are definitely not alone!

Please know that I am thinking of you!

Take care,

Lauren

[ollifree]

Apprentice April Week 1

1. The Basics. What is your character’s name? How old are they? How tall are they? Skin color? Eye color? Hair color? Gender identification?

Skylar, 6’9”, male, dark brown skin, green eyes, curly black hair, 38 y/o

2.  Love Interest. Who does your character love? What attracted them to that particular LI?

Lucio, his main draw being that he really does have a one-of-a-kind personality. Even after meeting so many types of people Skylar still went 👀 when he first heard Lucio open his mouth. It also helps that he’s rather physically attractive. Their main bonding early on happened over their shared immense love of animals.

3. Familiar. Does your character have a familiar? How did they meet?

Skylar has Salsa, a bastard gremlin coyote. How they met is as much of an enigma as the coyote herself.

4. Hobbies. What kinds of things does your character like to do for fun?

You will never find him more than two feet away from a book and that is a threat. He gets outdoor activities in with the dogs, but isn’t a big fan of being outside unless there’s snow on the ground.

5. Hidden talents. Is there something neat that your character can do? Tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue? Say any word backwards perfectly?

Very good at constructing card houses, and excels at word problems.

6. Magical talents. Is there a specific type of magic that your character excels at? Any magic they aren’t so great at? Or do they actually shy away from magic altogether?

Skylar’s natural affinities are for fire magic. He does know party tricks, but doesn’t go out of his way to perform them.

7. Interaction. How does your character typically interact with people?

He likes listening to people and learning their stories. For those he becomes friends with he’s stellar at providing emotional support.

8. Romance. What is something that your character and their LI love to do together? How do they show affection?

If your shared love language is physical touch and you aren’t all up in each other’s business 24/7 are you really in a relationship?

9. Travel. Does your character like to travel outside of Vesuvia? How often? For how long? What kinds of things do they do away from home?

He loves travel! It was what he did for the bulk of his life before staying in Vesuvia. He did take a few trips here and there after coming to the city, but never as often or as long as before.

10. WTF. Has anything just…weird ever happened to your character? Something that made them stop and go “What just happened?!”

This was also the bulk of his life during his traveling years. Skylar tends not to be very observant, to the point that almost everything he had his attention drawn to could fit under this umbrella.

Staying in Vesuvia fits here as well. The most he'd ever remained in a place before then was a number of months instead of years.

11. Crime. Has your character ever been arrested? If so, what did they do? Have they ever helped stop a crime?

Never been arrested, no. But, constantly being in new places meant he accidentally busted a few minor laws he was unaware of. He has been detained, however. Thanks, Ilya.

12. Secrets. What is a secret that your character has? Are they in line for the throne in a far off land? Was there this one time at band camp…? Are they secretly involved in an assassin’s guild?

This man’s backstory is so secret I don’t know half of it. Skylar doesn’t intentionally keep secrets so much as he travels so often and meets so many people he’s fallen into the habit of not telling others deeper things about himself. Sure, he could go out of his way to make stronger connections and let people know more about him, but he’s gonna leave in a few weeks anyway.

He is from a noble household, and will tell people this if they ask, but he doesn’t bring it up on his own due to aforementioned reasons.

13. Overcompensation. Is there something that your character just HAS to do better than anyone else? Or are they just that dang good without trying? If they see someone else showing off, what is their kneejerk reaction?

Skylar’s not one for competition or proving he’s the best at anything. He knows his own worth.

14. Fight Club. Is your character a good fighter? What kind of skills do they have?

Despite his affinity for fire magic, he’s much more a defensive person than an offensive one. And he doesn’t care for violence much to begin with.

15. The Arts. Is your character a creative type? What kinds of things can they create? Can they act? Street perform?

Skylar knows a good bit about the arts, but doesn’t have an interest in doing them.

16. Goofy. Is your character a clown? Do they like to make people laugh?

Not outright goofy, but he has a dry wit and is a master of deadpan snark.

17. Language. Is your character multilingual? How many languages do they speak? Do they have an accent? Is it sexy? Is it silly? Do they have a multilingual lisp?

Skylar grew up in a multilingual home! I kept him to six (plus a smattering of words in others) because I didn’t want to outstretch Julian’s eight. His accent mostly comes out in different stresses on consonants and difficulties with some back-of-the-throat sounds. Part of the reason he has Julian’s blessing to keep calling him “Ilya” is that he had trouble with that pronunciation of J.

18. Embarrassment. What is something really embarrassing that your character has done/said?

Please give him a five hour grace period of ignoring his presence whenever he fucks up which word he meant to use.

19. Memory. Has your character gotten any of their memory back? If so, what? Did it change them?

He does get his memory back (all of it), but that being in my own AU that’s replaced game canon. In that he never got his memories back.

20. Family. Talk about your character’s family. Who were they?

Skylar’s immediate family consists of his mother, father, and two older sisters. They lived with aunts, uncles, and cousins of varying degrees: all descended from his grandmother (who he knew) and grandfather (who died early on in his childhood).

[ephemeral-afterlight]

Day 13: Adrenaline

(The road may seem long.)

Whumptober 2019 Day 13: Adrenaline

Word Count: 2701

Relationships: Anxceit, Logince, Moceit (past, NOT consensual), Moxiety (past)

Warnings: Rape mentions, rape aftermath (mild imagery/description), blood mentions, physical violence, mention of PTSD symptoms, cursing. Please let me know if I forgot any!

A/N: i was SO close. almost had it on time, grrr. anyway, here’s the ending to the series of short fics in this universe that i’ve built up for whumptober! i will be posting these fics as a single chaptered story on ao3 for easier reading, so this will be updated with the link when i get around to that!

Red.

It’s all red. Not just figuratively, not just the kind borne from anger. It’s not just the red that hazes your mind when you’re so livid that you can’t help but scream and yell and kick and punch and scathe and burn and lash out. It’s also the literal kind of red. A red that drips into his eyes, floods the rims of his waterlines, bathes his vision in claret. He smells the metallic aroma, breathes in the blood, and he’s seeing red.

The chains keeping him stuck to the wall are ripped from the hook.

Virgil doesn’t really remember much after that. He knows that he doesn’t hesitate for a second after he comes loose. He knows that he lunges at Patton, shoves him away without a second thought. He knows that Delilah dropped to the ground, barely able to catch herself in time, and he remembers the bruises. He remembers the bruises, the ones he gets as he beats his fists down on any open patch of skin, how his knuckles split from the force of punching his stupid face over and over and over and over and--

He remembers Delilah whimpering in fear. He remembers standing up on shaky knees and turning away from the unconscious Patton without a second thought. He remembers holding his hands flat up in the air as he approaches Dee, reassuring her that he wouldn’t hurt her. He remembers her crying. He remembers asking if it’s okay to touch her. He remembers pulling the chains from her wrists, metal falling away from skin rubbed raw, and he remembers the strangled noise she makes when the shock sets in.

Virgil pulls her into his arms.

She doesn’t cry for long, and Virgil doesn’t know if it’s from the shock or if she really is that brave, but he’s proud of her regardless. She sniffles into his neck when he uses his arm to support her, and her breaths are shaky when he helps her up the stairs. Locking that basement door feels like leaving a prison, leaving a life behind, and it’s true for both of them. 

Delilah manages to sit gingerly on the couch with nothing but a small hiss, and Virgil is still angry at himself for not getting to her sooner. He could have prevented this, he knows he could’ve. But now, as Dee rests with her eyes drooping and her limbs curled up to her chest, he can’t lament for times passed and mistakes made. He needs to focus on the present, focus as he pushes the dining room shelf in front of the basement door.

It’s hard. It’s hard to watch as Delilah falls apart a second time in the middle of Virgil’s 911 call, and it’s even harder when he has to help her get dressed. He brought her some of his own clothes (not Patton’s never Patton’s ever ever ever again), the most comfortable ones he could find in the depths of his dresser drawers. It’s just a soft hoodie and some sweatpants, but she can’t stand long enough to step into them, and Virgil can feel angry tears welling up in his eyes. She looks at anything but him when he pulls the pants up over her bare hips, then meets his blurred gaze by a wet one of her own when the hoodie passes over her head.

Virgil is still hugging her when the first responders arrive. 

“Virgil?” comes from behind him, a voice that’s all too familiar to him. Roman stands there in full uniform, badge shining on his chest, and Virgil can feel Delilah relax in his arms. Of course, she did say she was taken when she was younger. She must have had adults tell her about emergency calls when she was younger, and most children at that age really look up to first responders. He remembers being entrances with the firefighters themselves, how they seemed invincible when they rushed into the flames to save civilian lives, and he still has a respect for that line of work even now. “You better explain later.”

“E-Excuse me, sir… are-- are you a police officer? Y-You arrest bad guys?” Delilah asks, shaky and stuttering when she’s too afraid to keep eye contact. Roman’s eyes immediately soften, and the tone immediately lets him know to be delicate about this. He’s been to plenty of elementary schools to do presentations on what to do if you’re being kidnapped, or what to do if there’s an active shooter, and talking to children is like second nature to him. This child just has an older body than most of them, is all.

“Yep, that’s my job. I help keep people safe and make sure bad guys don’t hurt people. What’s your name?” Roman asks, clear and gentle as he sits down a respectable distance away from them, sinking into the couch as he signals for another officer to start in on getting through to the basement.

“O-Oh, I’m-- I’m Delilah. Dee,” she responds nervously, silently checking to make sure it’s okay with Virgil to share her name. Virgil can’t help but feel awful when met with the knowledge that she even feels she needs to ask. She should be able to trust people, should be able to trust the police, but she’s been down there so long, there’s not really any way for her to know much past what she was told when she was a kid. “You… are you gonna make P-P-- make Patton go to jail?”

“Of course. He’s a bad guy. He’s going where he’ll never be able to hurt you again, okay? You’re gonna be alright now, I promise,” Roman reassures, and Virgil has no problem giving him credit for not even hesitating a second when the name doesn’t match the body. Then again, he is married to Logan, so it’s not like trans people are a new concept to him. Virgil still loves hearing about how they met, loves listening to the ridiculous story and laugh because it was just such a Roman thing to do.

“Ro… is Logan here with you? Please… please get him. I need to talk to him. Urgently,” Virgil insists, imbues his voice with exigency, and Roman gives him a solemn nod. He reaches out to Dee, stop short and waits for her to give permission to lay his hand on her shoulder in a gesture of compassion, and the small smile she gives in return fills Virgil with a hope he didn’t know he’d lost.

Everything goes by in a blur. It feels like time is passing by too quickly. It’s all like a dream, a hazy end to a nightmare. He feels odd when Logan asks about their injuries. He feels ashamed when he describes their recent encounter to his paramedic friend. He feels angry when he tells Logan that Dee needs a rape kit. He feels drained when he asks to stay with her to make sure she remains calm and has a familiar face to lean back on for comfort.

They get into the ambulance and begin the drive to the hospital, and Delilah squeezes Virgil’s hand from where she rests on the gurney, and Virgil’s just glad that she doesn’t have to see Patton face-to-face again until she’s ready to put him where he belongs.

-

“Dee, it will be fine. I’m sure they won’t just stop loving you simply because you aren’t a boy. And if they do say something, they’ll have to answer to me,” Logan informs with a neutral voice, squeezes Delilah’s hand from where their arms are linked at the elbow. They’re walking down a street in San Francisco, avoiding patches of snow, and Dee sighs even as she looks at the Christmas lights and bustling shopfronts displaying clothing and toys and electronics in wonder. It’s getting much colder, and Delilah has taken to wearing scarves and sweaters and leggings, which Logan doesn’t really get. Leggings are thin, and it’s 20 goddamn degrees outside, so why not wear something that will actually keep you warm?

“I know, I know, it’s just… I can’t look like a girl yet. What if they forget to use the right name? Or what if they just say they won’t? I don’t-- I don’t want to finally meet my parents again for the first time in twenty-something years and have them not accept me,” Delilah mumbles, and although the repetition is somewhat exasperating, Logan gets it. He remembers what it was like telling his dad that he was Logan, not Madeline. He can easily recall the joy he felt when his dad clapped him on the back and asked him if that meant they could go on father-son fishing trips now, even as his mom looked at him in disgust every time she was around. Logan is unabashedly glad that she left them soon after. He grew up to be successful, with an amazing husband, a well-paying job, and doing work that saves lives, so it’s her loss, anyway. He wishes that it didn’t take him so long to realize that, but he’s okay now, so there’s no point regretting decisions that led him to a fulfilling life eventually.

“It’ll be okay. No matter what happens, I’m here, and Roman’s here, and Virgil’s here, and I know that even if they couldn’t be here to support you today, they’re probably still encouraging you telepathically all the way from Florida, anyway. Although telepathy is impossible, at least at this point in time, I have a feeling they’re still trying anyway.”

And then they’re sitting down at a table inside the warm, cozy cafe, and Delilah’s parents are somehow exactly what Logan expected them to be.

Her mom is a petite woman, curly brown hair and hazel eyes to match her daughter’s. She has prominent smile lines, and a soft voice that sounds like how honey tastes, and she reminds him of how his own mother used to be before she left them. “You’re… you’re here.”

The two are hugging soon afterward, immediately joined by her father. Dee’s father is a stocky man, sturdy and tall, and yet he hunches over in a way that makes him appear nervous. His voice is low in register, but unexpectedly shy, and he seems just as kind as his wife.

And… the child, the one that is sitting at the table in the corner, the one that Logan hadn’t been expecting to see. She looks remarkably similar to Dee herself. There’s no question as to who she is. She has long, bouncy locks, despite her age, and bright blue eyes to match her father’s. Logan wasn’t aware she existed. It’s a wonder nobody told Delilah she had a sister.

“I-- I know we’ve talked on the phone, but I just… it’s nothing like seeing you in person. We… your father and I have waited so many years for this moment. And you’re… here. Our child,” Dee’s mother says, tears filling her eyes, and her lightly wrinkled hands shake in her husband’s gentle grip. Delilah’s sister sits up more in her chair, confused and curious, and Logan gives her a small wave when she stares at him from her own chair. She waves back.

“I… I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you about him. I should’ve known. I should have been able to figure it out before…” Delilah trails off, and her own eyes look misty too. Her words prompt an incredulous exhale from her father, and he speaks fully for the first time since they all sat down.

“Nonsense. You can’t blame this on yourself. You were a child. Your mother and I… we spent a very long time feeling responsible for what happened. Over the years, we thought of every ‘What if?’ scenario you could possibly imagine, and it took us even longer to realize that this whole situation is nobody’s fault but the evil man who hurt you. It’s not our fault, and it certainly isn’t yours, either.”

They spend more time talking. They discuss how life has been without their child, and how much Delilah missed them. They introduce her sister, Caitlyn, and Dee reassures them that yes, she knows they didn’t replace her. In turn, Dee introduces Logan to them, and tells them about how much he, Roman, and Virgil have been helping her. Although Logan would never cry in front of strangers or in public, he does feel oddly touched that she thinks so highly of him.

“I like your eyeshadow,” Caitlyn speaks up at the first bout of silence that comes along, and the metaphorical elephant in the room is brought to everyone’s attention. Logan can hear the tiny sound as the air catches in Delilah’s throat, can sense the hard swallow as she shifts uncomfortably in her chair, and Logan reaches out to hold her hand tightly in a tactile version of comforting words.

“Oh-- Uh, yeah. Roman did it for me before the flight out here,” Delilah chokes out, and Logan rubs the back of her hand with his thumb. Her father’s brow furrow, and he stays quiet to simply observe. Her mother’s mouth falls open minutely, painted red lips parting with no sound to come from between them, and Delilah takes a deep breath. “I’m… I’m not Ethan anymore, mom, dad. I’m Delilah. I’m a girl. I really hope you can respect that.”

And her father tilts his head, smiles softly when his wife lets out a sob, and Caitlyn flicks a straw across the table towards Logan. Logan flicks it back.

“Sweetheart, I’m just glad I have my baby back. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re my daughter instead. I love you no matter what, and so does your father. And I’m sure Caitlyn is happy to have a big sister to look up to.” 

Logan feels like he’s intruding when the three of them get up to hug again, but he and Caitlyn are in an intense match of the newly coined Straw Soccer, so it doesn’t really matter much in the end.

-

“Hey, Virgil?” Delilah asks one day, leans against Virgil’s desk and looks down at him with a serious gaze. Virgil perks up, cranes his neck to look at her from where his head is rested in his arms, and lets out a hum to let her know he’s listening.

“Do you still love Patton?”

Virgil can’t control himself when he immediately shoots up, sits back straight and rigid in the chair at the mention of the name. The question feels loaded, like any wrong answer is a step in the wrong direction, the pressure that will set off the landmines surrounding him. Why is she asking? It’s been three years. It’s been three years since Dee first got out, and she’s still thinking about this? Has she been wondering all this time?

And… Virgil hates this. He hates every single moment of this, because he can’t lie to her.

“Yes,” Virgil whispers, manages to get out through the lump in his throat. Dee’s been better. She started HRT, is slowly working her way towards displaying the type of body she’s supposed to have. She got her name legally changed, has a new wardrobe, friends, a job, a stable life. She has a service dog named Lucy, and still gets panic attacks and flashbacks when she hears yelling, but she’s doing better. They’re dating, and she’s healing, and starting to try new things that she’s been uncomfortable with for so, so long. She’s taking her life back. And Virgil’s just ruined it with a single word.

“I’m sorry,” Delilah says, and Virgil can’t even meet her eyes, even as his heart feels like it’s splitting in half.

“I’m sorry you still love someone you also hate. That must be really hard,” Delilah murmurs sympathetically, and Virgil is taken aback, and tears spill over his lashes, and Virgil presses his wet face into Delilah’s soft white turtleneck sweater. 

“I love you, Dee, I love you so fucking much. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

And Delilah just holds him tightly, presses a kiss to the crown of his head, and they’re going to be okay.

[mammonslastbraincell]

Get To Know The Bun💕

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 11 people you want to know better!

Thanks for the tag sis💕💕 @songjustgaveyouaids

1. what do you prefer to be called namewise?

I’ve said many times my name is Cassie! So that’s fine but you can also call me Bunni🐇🐰 or Cass💗

2. When is your birthday?

August 30💙 aproudvirgo

3. Where do you live? (You can just give a country’s or state’s name if you’re not comfortable sharing the the city name)

Tennessee! I wanna love in Chicago or a big city like that!💗 but for now I just have to deal with this😔

4. Three things you are doing right now!

Watching Zachary Micheal’s live stream, drawing, and being comfy💕

5. Four fandoms that have your peak interest right now?

Obey Me, Twisted Wonderland, Danganronpa(I still need to finish game three tho!), and Lucifer

6. How has this pandemic been treating you?

Fine I guess, we’ve been in a rut before this started so the only thing that’s changed is now there’s no where else to go. (Well in this small ass town there’s nowhere to go). Also my family believes it’s the flu and just is angy so fine but also u g h! Hope you all are okay tho!💜💙💕

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now?!

Victorious by Brendon and Urie’s

(It’s the only thing picking me up from a rough spot in my life rn that and Hallelujah by Brendon!Urie)

8. Recommend a movie!

Not a movie but go watch Haunting of Hill House!! So good!! S o g o o d go watch it! Only 10 episodes and you WILL c r y

9. How old are you?

Mama’s almost 20! I’m old

(Like I’m almost out of the kid loop on cool words. Why am I still on Tumblr why haven’t I left yet I keep waking up here I c a n ‘t l e a v e! I visited this site once when I was 12 what)

10.School, University, occupation or other?

Um I exist?

11. Do you prefer heat or cold?

C o l d I love the cold! I will sleep with my fan on when it’s like 30 degrees!

12. Name one fact about yourself that others would find unusual!

It’s quirky™️

No, but I love naming things and I will go on tangents about stupid things that literally no one else cares about

(Like how ducks are fucking evil I was bit by one at 5 I k n o w)

13. Are you shy?

No not really. Sometimes I do get shy but other than that oh I love talking to people and making friends!💙💜

14. Do you have preferred pronouns?

She/Her!💕💕

15. Biggest pet peeve!

When a situation that can be fixed easily with communication isn’t addressed so both parties are sad and confused!(I seriously lost a few friends and an a couple ex’s like please talk about how you feel honestly!)

Communication 👏🏻 Is 👏🏻 Key 👏🏻

16. What is your favorite “-dere” type?

Not gonna lie. Sis loves a yandere💗💕

Not irl of course!😂 I just love the possessiveness and stuff!💜💙

17. Rate your life 1-10. 1 being crappy. 10 being amazing!

Probably a 6! Yeah I’ve lost a very close friend and things aren’t how I pictured but at the end of the day I have my family and my sister right next to me plus a couple of friends I talk to that help me get through things that scare me so if anything I’m happy where I am be it a dream or not💕💕 love ya sis!💙 I have reasons to keep going and that’s all I need imo!

18. What is your main blog?

U g h @theonewiththatstupidinuyashablog I made this December and it was going to be a blog about Inuyasha! Cause it’s my childhood anime but as soon as I did Obey me peeped it’s fucking head out and said “Hey we have sexy demons🥴😏” and I said “Oop-O k a y!” And so now this is my “main” in my heart!

19. List your side blogs and what they are used for!

This blog is my only side blog! I might keyword Might make a Twisted Wonderland blog! Since I’m drawing my MC for that more and I’m actively following people in it!💙💜💗

20. One thing you think people should know about you before they become your friend?

I tend to give advice when people are venting not cause I think I’m right! But because I feel if you’re situation is easily like “we’ll talk about it. It’s not that hard” then I’ll say something I’ve had people tell me to shut the fuck up and keep my mouth shut and to just listen. So if you’re someone who doesn’t like that tell me and I won’t and I’ll just

Now for tags!

This isn’t gonna be 11 but I do want to tag @fallencrowkarma , @laura-is-annoyed (even tho I stalk her daily) , and anyone else who wants to do this! Just say I tagged you!💜💗💙

[daresplaining]

Are there any instances where superhero’s would give Daredevil something to look at and he has to wing it/ tell the truth that he’s blind?

    Yes, there are! This happens all the time, and not just with other superheroes. My favorite example is a major moment in DD history: when Ben Urich uses this exact strategy to get Daredevil to reveal his secret identity.

[ID: Excerpt from McKenzie’s Daredevil run. Daredevil is wearing head bandages and a hospital gown (over his costume). Ben Urich sits next to him, a lit cigarette in his mouth, and holds up a photograph.]

Ben: “It’s the story of a lonely little boy blinded by a freak accident. And it’s the story of how he overcame his handicap to become a successful lawyer and a Man Without Fear. It’s your story, Matthew Murdock, and I can prove it!”

Matt: “Now just a minute, Ben! You can’t seriously believe I’m–”

Ben: “Well, if you’re not Matt Murdock and if you’re not blind, just describe this photograph to me and I’ll leave. I’ll forget the whole thing.”

Matt: “Photo–? Ben, I… I really don’t feel like playing games. I’m not Matt Murdock, I’m certainly not blind– and I don’t see why I have to prove anything to you. It’s none of your business… who I am. It’s… it’s… it’s true…”

Daredevil vol. 1 #164 by Roger McKenzie, Frank Miller, and Glynis Wein

    I love this interaction– the facial expressions, Matt’s flustered struggle to come up with an excuse, its significance as the start of a beautiful friendship, the fact that Ben barged into Matt’s hospital room (while smoking!) to get this interview– and it’s a testament to how vulnerable Matt is to this sort of situation. Years later, after Matt has faked his death and reappeared as a “new” Daredevil during Chichester’s run, Ben uses this same ruse to check if his friend is actually still alive. Sadly, what could have been a moving/hilarious recreation of this iconic scene is ruined by some silly sensory writing. 

[ID: Ben confronts Daredevil, who is dressed in the black and red armored costume from the end of Volume 1, on a darkened rooftop. Ben hands Daredevil his wallet, which contains a photo of himself and his wife Doris.]    

Ben: “Tell me about this picture.”

Caption: “Ben Urich has played this bluff before, to prove Matt Murdock and Daredevil were one and the same. Make a blind man describe a photograph. It worked then. Murdock can’t afford to let it work again.”

Matt: “Sure… okay. Bring it over here in the light were I can see it…”

Caption: “Light and dark areas absorb degrees of heat from the lamp above. Enough difference to paint a crude picture for hypersensitive fingertips. Some deductive guesswork on the photos a man might carry in his wallet. All adding up to enough for a stab in the dark.”

Matt: “That’s you… and she’s your wife?”

Daredevil vol. 1 #339 by Alan Smithee, Alexander Jubran, and Christie Scheele

    Sigh…

    In any case, as I mentioned, Matt (as Daredevil) is frequently confronted with these types of situations, thanks to people’s assumptions that he can see. The degree of success he has in maintaining that illusion of sightedness varies. Below are a few of my other favorite moments.

    This is another major one, and another rare instance in which Matt decides he has no choice but to reveal that he’s blind. During his early adventures in San Francisco, he develops a brief alliance/friendship/romanic tension with the cosmic hero Moon Dragon. When she gets seriously injured, Matt is the only person around to operate the machine that will save her life. Unfortunately…

Matt: “Moon Dragon… there’s no way I could grasp this–”

Moon Dragon: “Please… just… do exactly as… I say… Begin… with the… yel… yellow… dial… turn to… Dare… devil… what is… wrong? Begin…”

Matt: “I– I can’t!! Moon Dragon… I–I’m blind!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #106 by Steve Gerber, Don Heck, and George Roussos

    Being a cosmic entity, Moon Dragon deals with this inconvenience by casually restoring Matt’s vision. He asks for it to be removed again shortly afterward because he finds it annoying. 

    I pointed out Matt’s hand-wave-y deciphering of Ben’s photo (and Matt also mentions feeling colors in the Moon Dragon scene), and while that sort of thing has mostly been abandoned, unfortunately it informed many of these types of moments in early Daredevil stories. Rather than acknowledging the limits of Matt’s perception, the writers would simply skew and amplify his other senses to explain the problem away, as in this moment in Roy Thomas’s run: 

[ID: Daredevil is leaning on Foggy Nelson’s desk. Foggy hands him a newspaper, and Daredevil (with his gloves on!) runs his fingers over the front page.]

Matt: “Tell me– who were the joy boys?”

Foggy: “This paper will explain things…! Read it and weep!”

Matt: “Let me pore over this for a minute! (–’Specially since I’ve got to do my speed-reading casually– with my fingers doing the walking!)”

Daredevil vol. 1 #68 by Roy Thomas, Gene Colan, and Artie Simek

And this even more extreme example from the same run: 

[ID: Daredevil (still with his gloves on!) is running his fingers over a framed photograph, while a tearful Karen Page watches.]

Karen: “How could you have known that we needed you… when even I didn’t know it… until a few moments ago?”

Matt: “I’ll… explain all that later, Karen! Right now, let me study your father’s picture! (And I do mean study… not see! But she’s too upset to notice that I’m using my fingertips to learn her father’s appearance!)”

Daredevil vol. 1 #56 by Roy Thomas, Gene Colan, and Artie Simek

    Matt reading newsprint is fine; there’s a ton of precedent for it, it makes a certain degree of sense, and it’s been a part of his power-set for a long time. Matt reading newsprint with his gloves on without Foggy noticing anything weird is much harder for me to believe. And don’t get me started on his perceiving a framed photograph by touch with his gloves on. 

    Fortunately, more recent writers have moved away from these types of shortcuts, and are willing to acknowledge that Matt’s other senses can’t fully compensate for his lack of vision. The usual outcome is that Matt manages to improvise an excuse/alternative approach that allows him to maintain his secret, or he’s lucky enough to have someone else inadvertently help. 

[ID: A bystander shows Daredevil an image of a man (labeled as John Powers) on his tablet screen. Daredevil’s radar sense perceives the screen as a blank rectangle.]

Bystander: “Except this guy! He’s not one of us!”

Matt (caption): “What?”

Bystander: “I’m not on the list, but he is! See? Who is he? Do you recognize him?”

Matt (caption): “Ummm…”

Judge: “John Powers. Does anybody here know that name?”

Daredevil vol. 3 #31 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Javier Rodriguez

[ID: Daredevil is standing by as a man feeds a key card into an old-fashioned computer. The address “13 Wall St.” appears on a small screen.]

Matt: “Can you determine what building this key is for?”

IT guy: “Certainly! That data is coded into the key with magnetic particles which our computer can decipher– and there’s the address as you can plainly see!”

Matt: “Uh– yes. Are you sure there is such an address?”

IT guy: “Thirteen Wall St.? Of course!”

Matt: “Thanks! (I wonder what that technician would think if he knew Daredevil was blind and couldn’t ‘plainly see’ anything!?”)

Daredevil vol. 1 #144 by Jim Shooter, Lee Elias, and George Roussos

[ID: Matt (in civvies as his alter ego Jack Batlin) is “watching” a muted TV with his friend Stithy. The TV appears as a vague box shape in Matt’s radar. On the screen are the symbols of the U.S. government, the Fantastic Four, and the Avengers.]

Stithy: “Maybe I start makin’ ‘em for Uncle Sam though, huh? Plenty o’ need in the Big Apple now!”

Matt: “What do you mean?”

Stithy: “See for yourself…”

Matt: “I… uh… turn it up, will you?”

Stithy: “Picture there doesn’t say it all? Lazy S.O.B.!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #329 by D.G. Chichester, Scott McDaniel, and Joe Andreani

[ID: Daredevil is inside a building. On a table in front of him is a bomb, with several wires exposed. He is communicating with Steve Rogers (Captain America) via communication devices.]

Steve (off-panel): “We’re all right. I can talk you through defusing it. You’re looking for two wires. Green and yellow.”

Matt (caption): “Damn. He doesn’t know you’re blind.”

[ID: Daredevil dives out the window, comes back in with one of the guys who set the bomb, and slams him down on the table.]

Matt: “Turn it off.”

Daredevil vol. 5 #4 by Charles Soule, Ron Garney, and Matt Milla

    And finally, my other personal favorite category, in which Matt deals with this problem by just… leaving:

[ID: Daredevil is standing on a city street, talking with two cops.]

Cop: “Nobody recalls anything… except running to escape… from something.”

Matt: “Then, Lieutenant, we’ve got a first class menace on our hands.”

Cops: “Can you give us a description, DD? Hair color? Eyes? Distinguishing marks? We’ll put out an A.P.B. on him right away.”

Matt: “I’m, uh, still a little shaken, I think… Let me get some rest, okay…? Collect my wits. I’ll be in touch.”

[ID: He runs and swings away.]

Daredevil vol. 1 #101 by Steve Gerber, Rich Buckler, and George Roussos

[ID: Daredevil is standing in the middle of a diner. Two bystanders are sitting at a table next to him, reading a newspaper article that reveals his secret identity.]

Bystander: “Hey, Daredevil… Hey, uh, Daredevil… what color’s my shirt?”

[ID: There’s a moment of awkward silence, then a loud boom from outside. Daredevil runs out of the diner.]

Bystander: “He didn’t answer…”

Daredevil vol. 2 #35 by Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev, and Matt Hollingsworth

    While Matt has worked hard over the years to maintain his secret identity and hide his blindness as Daredevil (with… varying success), it’s definitely a relief to him when the people around him are in on the secret and he can be honest about his limitations. 

[ID: Daredevil and a cop are on a rooftop at night. The cop shows Daredevil a smartphone screen.]

Matt: “Someone want to describe to me what’s on that phone?”

Daredevil vol. 4 #8 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Matt Wilson

[1000-directions]

annual writing self-evaluation

All answers should be about works published in 2018.

tagged by: N O B O D Y, i’m the one getting the party started this year 😎i’m going to tag every writer i follow, so please feel free to fill this out for yourself without feeling obligated to read my answers if you’re not into it!

i. Optional if applicable: link to last year’s self evaluation:

2017!

1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):

tonight make me unstoppable

turn to dust or to gold

spring cleaning

since we’re alone

this modern love

i still remember

the gentlest feeling

think i’m gonna win this time

nothing but dreams inside

sending postcards to myself

dust to dust

lullaby for the new world order

gold dust in our hands

#ship 1d with superheroes 2k18

cloud on my tongue

sing it one last time

(unpublished winterhawk fic that will be arriving next weekend)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

hmmmm. i mean, if you count the luckyverse as a whole as one work, then obviously that. i’ve put a lot of time and thought into developing this relationship and finding ways to progress it over the course of several years and trying to justify why we are examining their relationship at the specific times that the stories take place. it’s the hardest i’ve worked on anything, it’s the most time i’ve spent on one idea, it’s the longest thing i’ve ever created, it’s the most i’ve ever enjoyed writing, and it’s gotten the most satisfying response. it’s not the most popular thing i’ve ever done, and i know there will be fewer and fewer people showing up for each successive part, but the people who support this have been just...the most generous and wonderful, and creating this thing has been such a rewarding experience for me.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

nope, this year i’m pretty proud of everything 🙃

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

from this modern love:

“Buck,” Louis says, and he’s looking at Bucky so openly, gazing at him so adoringly, and his fingertips are so gentle against Bucky’s face. He isn’t holding anything back, and it’s one of those moments where Bucky almost steps out of his own head and sees himself from a distance, and he has to tell himself, this is your life, you get to have this now.

“It was a nice day,” Bucky says instead. “I’m really glad I got to be a part of it.”

“You’re going to be a part of everything from now on,” Louis says, tracing the arch of Bucky’s eyebrow with his thumb. “Shit, I can’t stop touching you.”

“Don’t stop touching me,” Bucky says. His hands are on Louis’ hips, anchoring him in place, and they feel hot where they meet Louis’ clothing. His right palm is sweating, and his left is crackling with the anticipation.

There are two categories of energy. There’s kinetic energy, the energy of motion. The energy of Bucky reaching through space and time against all the odds to meet this man, to run after him down the street, to touch his body and kiss his sacred mouth.

And the other category is potential energy, the energy that is stored up and kept secure for the future when you’re ready for it. The energy of possibility, the energy that hasn’t done anything yet but promises you maybe, maybe, maybe.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

i got a lot of comments along the lines of ‘i didn’t expect this to work, but it did,’ which always brings me joy. i reread @queerlyalex‘s comment on nothing but dreams inside whenever i’m feeling :/ about myself and my writing. all seven comments on cloud on my tongue are so precious to me because i loved writing that one so, so much, it was my love letter to lucky and how far they’ve come. i really just treasure the people who are still hanging in there and reading about my precious weirdos and really picking up on all the things i was trying to do with that story.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

any time i have to write a scene with more than two characters is a struggle. the absolute worst ones this year were freddie’s birthday party and bucky and louis’ dinner party. just the worst. more than two characters is too many to keep track of.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

genuinely everything. at the end of last year, i was planning to write one (1) lucky fic for rarepair fest, and i was planning to write trans spiderlou, and that was it. and instead, this turned in the year of lucky, the #ship 1d with superheroes 2k18 that i was not expecting.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

last year, i was very focused on being a more minimalist writer, on ignoring plot and just writing the parts that i found interesting, just quick projects in one sitting for as long as they held my interest. this year, i spent more time stretching out inside a scene, just settling in and letting it take as long as it needed to take. i learned how to sustain my own interest in an idea for longer than a few hours. it used to be that if i didn’t finish something in one sitting, i didn’t finish it at all. meanwhile, i can’t even tell you how many sittings i’ve spent on lucky over the last year, and i’m still excited about it and invested in it. i wouldn’t say that i appreciate the concept of plot much more than i used to -- i’m still much more focused on small moments of character interaction. but i’ve learned to embrace the concept of outlining in order to make sure i cover everything i want to cover, and i’m not so afraid of the passage of time anymore.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

this is my answer from last year:

i would like to try some new pairings. this is weird, but i’ve never really written a true nouis story? it feels like i should have, but i haven’t, and that’s something i wouldn’t mind tackling next year. also, when i first started out, i didn’t feel comfortable leaving canon behind because i worried that i didn’t have a strong enough grip on my characters yet, and i feared that if i started writing AUs or whatever, my characters would become unrecognizable. but i’d like to keep venturing out and trying new worlds and tropes. i want to write more trans characters. i’d like to write an ace fic. i’d like to bring my eye to things i haven’t written before and see what happens.

things i did this year: tried new pairings, wrote a true nouis story, wrote AUs, wrote more trans characters. and although it’s not explicitly identified in the story, bucky is demi in luckyverse, so i guess you could say i wrote an ace fic. so...i’m pretty pleased with all that.

‘i’d like to bring my eye to things i haven’t written before and see what happens’ is always going to be my writing mantra, i think. this year was very heavily focused on lucky, so i think i’d like to write more diversely next year, focusing on other stuff as well. i’d like to write more marvel stories, and i’d like to play around with winterhawk more and maybe find my own preferred niche inside that particular pairing. i just want to keep pushing myself and trying new things.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

i will say that @dearmrsawyer really stepped up and became my absolute mvp this year. jamila is the best for pure brainstorming, for just coming up with an idle idea and running with it until it’s something huge and important and vital to whatever project i’m working on. there is very little i wrote this year that she didn’t have a hand in to some extent. @nightwideopen was absolutely lucky’s #1 cheerleader, which means so much to me. @queerlyalex is always the best in terms of pure positivity and encouragement, about writing, about not writing, about life, about everything. @fleetwooded has been such a perfect beta for me, someone i absolutely trust to tell me the truth about whether or not something works, someone who is so thoughtful with comments and ideas, someone whose eye i 100% trust. @sarcathlon made me art!!!! holy shit, i’m never going to be over it, genuinely the nicest and most supportive compliment ever. and of course, bucky barnes has my entire heart and i’m never gonna stop yelling about how he is a good boy trying his best.

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

uh, yes. lol. all of bucky’s anatomical awareness is a result of my stupid useless anatomy degree. at least i finally got to use it for something!! a lot of bucky’s anxiety and panic is based on my own. bucky’s hatred and fear of grocery stores is literally me.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

i’m always going to say to write the stories that you want to write, and fuck all the writing rules that tell you there’s a specific way to tell a story. tell it your way. have fun. writing is pointless if you don’t genuinely enjoy it, because we aren’t getting paid for this, and most of us aren’t going to write things that are wildly popular, so the joy has to come from the creation of it. if you expect the joy to come entirely from other people’s responses to your work, you’re going to be disappointed. if you love what you write, then you are guaranteed that at least one person is going to love what you wrote. that’s all i got.

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

we’ve got two (or three 😩) more parts of the luckyverse in the wings, and i want to write my zayn character study. everything else is up for grabs.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

listen, i’m tagging e v e r y o n e who i think wrote something this year because i wanna get this thing going again. so please, if i accidentally skipped you, or if you are someone i don’t follow who is reading this and you want to do it, please feel free, just say i tagged you.

@magicalrocketships @veryniceandgood @bigbrotherlouis @secretspeller @ferryboatpeak @zaptains @jiksax @mildlymaddy @dearmrsawyer @saysthemagpie @polaroidgirlfriend @clarz @imlouisaf @queerlyalex @nothanksweregood @musingsofmaura @niallspringsteen @foliealou @tintedglasses @sarcathlon @nocontrolforlouis @fleetwooded @nightwideopen @captn-sara-holmes @flawedamythyst @akai-coat @claraxbarton @kangofu-cb

[infobrokerkid]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

Back at it again with them QnA games. I’d love to thank @licoricerootstuff for tagging me in this one! ♡ You guys know how much I love talking about myself filling these!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Surprisingly enough, I kind of am! It’s not after anyone from the family, though. My father chose my name in the honour of various queens who ruled over our country back in medieval times.

2. When was the last time you cried?

O o f, starting of with such personal questions, are we. But to keep it real; it was actually on Sunday morning. So approximately 3 days ago. 

3. Do you have kids?

God, no! 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Quite often, yes. But I’ll say this: you really should be aware of your surrondings, to some degree at least, when using sarcasm. Some people might just not fathom the point you’re trying to get across while being sarcastic. Thanks to some little comments of mine certain people from my high school are still 100% convinced I used to cut my wrists. :^)   Recently I’ve been much more cynical than particulary sarcastic, honestly. 

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Once they open their mouth then definitely the way they talk. What words they tend to overuse. The tone of their voice. Their sentence structure and vocabulary extent in general. Plus, of course, the topics they talk about.  In terms of ‘before they start to talk’, then I’m probably going to say their expression. It may be too vague, but I’m not really interested in only their eyes or only their lips or anything like that, I’m interested in their whole mimics. Which goes along with taking notice of their body language. Also, if someone is wearing a cologne or perfume I tend to pick up on that very easily, too!

6. What’s your eye color?

I have your typical stormy blue-ish grayish eyes with dark blue lacing around the iris. They run in the family. My brother, mother and father have the exact same kind. 

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

Scary movie as in scary movie or Scary Movie itself? Assuming we’re supposed to be talking about a scary movie with a scary atmosphere, then it depends how do you define ‘scary movie’. I’m not very fond of what you’d normally call a scary movie. Meaning horrors where it’s all about what amount of blood and guts gets spilled. But neither am I a big fan of happy endings.  In the end I’d choose a scary movie over a happy ending every time. But it has to be a certain kind of scary movie. Something where the atmosphere and anticipation alone has you tensed on the edge of your seat. Not something with just blood and poorly staged violence.

8. Any special talents?

Depends on what you consider a special talent. I could have some ideas myself that I’m ‘special’ at something but that might be just me being dellusional. So if we were to measure it objectively I’d have to say ‘writing’, probably. Since I’ve taken part in multiple writing contests and have always managed to get a decent award-winning place.  People also tell me that my special talent is the way I talk. They usually say that I just know how to talk. But I don’t know if bullshitting your way through is considered a talent. 

9. Where were you born?

I was born in my hometown where I’ve been living ever since; Prague. 

10. What are your hobbies?

Jesus, too many. The exact kind of hobbies you’d expect form so a person who has a tumblr account. I love to read and write. I love to translate, that’s one of my biggest passions. I like to educate myself on psychology, politics and philosophy, amatuarely. A very basic hobby B U T I really do love to listen to music. Can’t even recall when a day passed without me listening to any music - this ties with attending concerts! I have a passion for graphic design as well (exactly why I’m constantly putting out nothing but memes) . I love to discuss vague, conceptual topics where there is no real/correct stand point to achieve. Advocating what I stand for, spending time with people... I’ve kind of begun to describe my day schedule rather than listing my hobbies...

11. Do you have any pets?

I’m allergic and incapable of taking care of living creatures, so I don’t. 

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I haven’t been doing anything actively for a few years now. But I used to do aerobics competitively - even won some awards! Also gymnastics, although any gymnastic I remember til this day is mostly self-taught. I attended taekwondo classes, too. 

13. How tall are you?

I’m 171 cm tall which is a curse since I’m addicted to wearing high heels. I still wear them, though. It transfers to 5.6 ft, a p p r o x i m a t e l y. 

14. Favorite subject in school?

Either History or Literature! 

15. Dream job?

Well I... don’t know. I can’t say one single carreer. I’ve always wanted to be a writer or a translator but lately I’m not so sure if these professions could keep me satisfied. I’d just like to have a job where the main part is about talking. I’d like to come in contact with a lot of different people on a daily basis. I’d like it to not be periodical, or have strict schedule for each week/day because in that case I feel a nature urge to rebel against it, plus I’d get bored of it in no time. The best case scenario would be me being in charge of the schedule. This description itself is a real dream job with capital D because it’s pretty much unachievable. Fact of the day: one personality/career test actually included ‘international spy’ in career recommendetions. 

Thank you very much if you managed to read and survive the whole thing! It’s really flattering when people who visit my blog are also interested in me and not just the content I post relobg.  (ノ▽〃)

I’d like to tag the following (hAH) mutuals: @ask-izamika ; @rukazaya ; @humanitys-shortest-soldier ; @chelseanyan (you have no idea how mUCH I love your profil picture omg) ; @izayabayo ; @tamtam-kalani ; @borderline-izaya ; @lycoryllis ; @actually-the-devil ; @jesswcg ; @scythe-swinging ; @quantum-mecha ; @kakashi-hockeybae ; @demon-of-ikebukuro ; @too-young-to-ber And everyone else who’d like to do the tag, consider yourself tagged by me! To all the tagged mutuals: filling in the tag is, of course, optional! If you were already tagged or want to keep your tumblr account impersonal or simply don’t feel like answering these questions then feel free to ignore me tagging you! 

[totallycorrectfnafquotes]

tfc reactions and stuff

i managed to avoid spoilers up until now so i guess i’m reading/reacting to this let’s go

(spoilers below the cut)

chapter 1

“...where a clown’s painted face filled the screen, caught in a convulsive fit of laughter.” i don’t trust like that

“‘Did you already have this costume, or did you make it especially for the grand opening?’“ I REALLY DON’T TRUST LIKE THAT

i don’t know who luis is but i like him

“... i need you to get your head in the game.” dang i don’t remember there being so much murder or robots in high school musical :/

HE KEPT THEODORE

JOHN DON’T YOU DARE THROW THEODORE AWAY

and i’m crying now

“She called my name.” FUCK

“When he found himself too far out, he would always take deliberate steps back to the shoulder, and it was always with a secret sinking disappointment in himself that he would do so.” o h :(

“‘And so does she.’“ WHOM?

what the fuck is going on

john stop being a bitter fuck and hang out with your friends

also what the fuck is going on

chapter 2

who the hell is this lady

i don’t trust her

john be nice to theodore

be nice to my son

is charlie possessing her own corpse

is this a michael afton scenario

“I was in this play about a horse.” carlton i would literally die for you

yea this ain’t charlie

john please do not call her “my charlie”

“I thought I was going to die.” yeah that’s not suspicious at all

“Those weren’t her eyes.” oh big fear

“Even breathing was strained and unfamiliar...” michael afton: yeah i know that feeling

random pain? michael afton: yeah i know that feeling

chapter 3

“Raise it a few more degrees.” UM

what the fuck is going on

“They will become more, just like you did.” BIG FEAR

okay john you’ve officially reached stalker levels

john are you accusing sammy of being a sleeper agent

“...as if it was all she could do to hold herself in one piece.” if this line turns out to be foreshadowing i swear to god

“...he heard the sound from theodore’s head again: the whirring and then the click.” oh no

okay i think i know where this whirring and clicking from theodore’s head thing is going and i don’t like it

at all

wait

rabbit head

oh NO

“...above them was a sign, in red and yellow neon letters: CIRCUS BABY’S PIZZA.” aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

chapter 4

“Zombies vs. Zombies!” if that’s foreshadowing i swear to god

charlie panic ordering the same as john but failing to realize he hadn’t ordered anything yet is literally me on dates

“Honestly, I don’t even know what you saw in that girl-- selfish, scatterbrained, pathetic.” something doesn’t feel right here, scoob

this conversation turned from awkward to super fucking awkward dear god really quick

IS THE WOMAN WITH THE GUY WITH THE CANE JEN

I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE’S JEN

is circus baby’s a cult

CLAY NO

chapter 5

“For Michael.” thank you i am crying again

“You mean it’s about Charlie.” nice job jessica you just summed up the novel and a good part of the games in one sentence!

“’It was the machine Charlie’s father built to kill himself.’“ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

what

what the fuck

what the fuck

oh

ohmy god

ohmygod

chapter 6

no don’t split up that’s how people die in horror stuff

make up your mind john. are you gonna call him dave, afton, or springtrap

WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE CHARLIE ALONE IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU DUMBASSES

chapter 7

“’Am i not enough?’ ... ‘No, you’re not.’“ okay i know this woman is Definitely Evil but i feel bad for her now

john, jess, you two are literally being ten times too obvious

oh, a walkie talkie? this can only go well.

“Charlie was looking at him like he was prey.” oh fun.

JESSICA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

“Her bright orange hair was tied up in two pigtails on either side of her head...” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay but not-charlie is actually giving me chills. scott and kira, nice job there

oh fuck

chapter 8

it’s BABY TIME BITCHES

“Now I know that people are all fading, fragile, inconsequential.” well if you didn’t know she was a bad guy after fucking MURDERING AUNT JEN ATTEMPTING TO KILL CLAY AND KIDNAPPING JESSICA this line solidified it

i can literally hear heather masters speaking these lines

fuck off william you stinky bitch

jessica sweetie you’re doing great

“...because if that’s hell, there’s a hole at the bottom of it reserved for you.” JESSICA SWEETIE YOU’RE DOING FUCKING AMAZING

“Elizabeth!” ooooh name drop

“They’re still in there.” o h

chapter 9

“I have to get inside!” that sounds... familiar

“Yeah, it’s a good neighborhood, John. Nothing bad ever happens here.” carlton i missed you so much

“John sent me to help.” OH NO

okay so flirty femme fatale. cool

“I rushed into my last relationship and I almost ended up dead in a moldy fur suit.” bdshgdkgad

i’m not really sure that’s how reverse engineering works but dang if that wasn’t a cool way of escaping baby

chapter 10

“He’s been here long enough for those to heal...” william afton i am coming for your ass

chapter 11

“My only lasting instruction for you concerns the fourth closet.” ooo title drop

“...fill it with every kind of flammable thing and burn it to the ground...” seems like bear dad’s keeping with his whole fire thing

“’I’m the only you that matters.’“ shut up you bitchy metal scrapheap

chapter 12

“’It’s legal as long as you don’t pick any locks,’ he said. ‘Now be quiet so I can pick this lock.’“ guys i think i have a new favorite line

OF COURSE THERE’S A MIRROR MAZE

YOU CAN’T HAVE A CLOWN THEME HORROR NOVEL WITHOUT MIRROR MAZES

“’I kn-ow you’re in h-ere.’” oH?

IS IT MY BOY?

“The glitching voice had a strange, unsteady tone.” IS IT MY B O Y

IT IS MY BOY

FUNTIME FREDDY HAS JOINED THE PARTY

chapter 13

“Why do I have to be the leader? It’s bad enough when I’m just in charge of myself.” okay but big mood

MANGLE???

MANGLE I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU

M A N GL E

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

so like is the funtime foxy from sl now confirmed to be mangle or am i reading this wrong

scott and kira: mangle is a literal monster who can and will kill

me, pointing at mangle: good baby fox

scott and kira:

me, pointing at mangle harder: g o o d  b a b y  f o x

wow i can’t believe funtime freddy is fucking dead

press f to pay respects lads

chapter 14

“You’re so attached to something so... easily broken.” elizabeth you are literally the definition of a fucking villain

also one of your teammates was smashed to hell and back pretty easily what does that say about you

what

what the fuck

what the fuck is going on

chapter 15

“A boy in a black-and-white striped shirt...” oh?

“‘That’s our friend. He helped me find my puppy!’“ OH

all the missing children are gone now and i’m sobbing

chapter 16

“’Oh, please, I practically am a nurse...’” marla being a premed student makes you a future nurse, not a nurse now

in conclusion: everything hurts and i’m dying