#also literally no one was asking for a 1:1 remake

[lawchan89]

“Well yeah, of course it’s not going to be as good as the original show!”

Then why?

Why does this thing exist?

Why does it need to exist in the first place?

This “defense” is not the flex you think it is

If you can’t remake it better

Why remake it at all?

[mo0nfairy]

I gotta see a part of yandere Leon where reader remembers him as they get through los Iluminados maybe some yandere in action lol (at least only if you want to!)

part 1. part 3. part 4.

tw :: obsessive!leon, yandere!leon, mention of drugs, framing, handcuffs, stalking, trauma, guns, wounds, heights, being locked up.

⸺ ooooooo !!! i've been meaning to make a part 2 of my last ask, but had zero idea where to go from where i ended. i also had played a bit of RE2 before the remake came out recently, so a piece of my brain has been kept up in raccoon city for a little while. i would love to express my thoughts and mesh these two games together !!

let's start with where we left off in los iluminados.

upon having your handcuffs taken off by the stranger who is far too close for comfort, you pace backwards, far away as you can get from this insanity of a man. his attitude abruptly shifts into something softer, a major contrast to the emotional breakdown he had just seconds prior. he realizes you're afraid — afraid of him. and as much as the mere thought destroys him to the point of breaking down again, he shoves a sob back down his throat and keeps his distance, despite how desperately he wishes to close it.

6 years. 6 years. he has been waiting over 2,190 miserable days for this single moment. all the sleepless nights spent searching the world for you; all the hopeless nights spent clinging to pillows, praying by some miracle it will somehow become you. every second of these past 6 years has been spent dreaming of this single moment. and even though your reunion wasn't the teary-eyed, passionate kiss in the rain he had hoped for, you are still here with him nonetheless.

and like hell will he let you slip from his grasp again.

with as much time as his needy self would grant him being physically away from you, he is soon at your side. leon then wraps you in his jacket and you swear you hear a harsh gasp escape from him when his finger accidentally makes contact with the skin of your neck. despite your negligence and more-than-obvious discomfort, you do appreciate the new warm embrace after a week of cold rain and damp clothes. it smells exactly like him, as well.

and with that, he's got a gentle hand hovering over your lower back as he guides you through the depths of this hellhole. and piece by piece, memories that had been buried in your brain begin to disinter themselves.

for example, you got a staring problem bro?? for the entirety of the time you spend with leon in los iluminados, there is literally never a single moment where this mans eyes are not on you. half of the time it is to ensure you are unharmed, but the other half consists of him staring in complete and utter awe. it's kind of hard to focus on surviving when leon is constantly staring into your soul. but it has just been so fucking long since he has been able to see you in all of your glory, so please excuse him for any inappropriate behavior on his end.

also, you knew you have lived in raccoon city for a short period of time before the events of RE2 happened, but like everything else that relates to that damned place, you couldn't remember a thing.

except now. leon's gaze uncovers a memory you have of yourself being held in one of the RPD holding cells. the atrocious scent, the uncomfortable bench, the paint peeling from the walls. you try and scrutinize what on earth you could have been arrested for, but your attempts are merely futile. but unbeknownst to you, your arrest was nothing but bullshit. and to say leon has had a crush on you from the second you moved into RC would be nothing short of the truth. so, by pulling some strings, the rookie had managed to lock you up for what he calls 'bonding time'. he'll place a chair backwards in front of your cell, prop his arms on the backrest and admire you with your full attention finally on him (instead of just stalking you around town).

two things you now remember about this man: he was so adorably baby-faced back then and my god, was he awkward. he still cannot talk for shit and i mean this with my whole heart. his sweet, innocent eyes gaze at you while he tries to play it cool, pulling cards like "yeah, i workout" and "you come here often?". all as if he hadn't personally arrested you for possession of illegal substances he planted himself. (nothing will happen to you, obvi. he just desperately needed a second alone with you to show off how charismatic he can be. or try to be, at least).

and for the short second of seeing him after 6 years, his eyes were just devoid of any life. you had assumed the trauma inflicted from that night had caused such a contrast in his physical appearance, and you would be right to assume that. but the soulless eyes, monotone voice, and lackluster personality was entirely due to your disappearance. days upon days of the lonely, eternal torment destroyed his sanity. however, that illustrious boy you can barely remember seems to have returned with your presence.

another thing you can't believe you had forgotten was how intense his stare is. the way he stares is illegible and sometimes overwhelming. he shivers in his stance, whimpers at your every move, and his mind runs rampant with all sorts of obsessive declarations of love. although it may seem creepy to others and especially yourself, do not fret. he has no ill intent towards you, god he could never! this puppy-dog of a man is simply marveling at your sheer existence.

you are able to retrieve another lost memory when you have to jump from a window and into his arms (for those who say he won't be able to catch you, stfu. have ya'll seen how beefy his arms are??? anyways....). the secret agent you have grown to like during your stay in los iluminados jumps down marvelously (most def showing off his james-bond-esque agilities to you). he now watches from below as you stare at the distance beneath you in trepidation. this distrust you have — he is going to travel to the ends of the universe to fix it. no matter what.

you begin to ponder, he has savagely brutalized all threats in your path and held your hand as if he were holding the world all in the same breath. you should trust him, especially after witnessing the pure display of loyalty he has for you.

"don't be afraid, y/n. i'll catch you, i promise!" there is 10000% a way to walk through the house and down the stairs to get to him, but ofc he's not gonna tell you. why would he willingly throw away the opportunity to be your knight in shining armor?

"you will?" your voice is full of apprehension. his stare on you feels like the same bullets he's forced upon your attackers.

"always."

with that, you rip the bandaid off and jump from the ledge. and leon was most certainly not lying. you land safely in his embrace and he wraps his arms tightly around your form. and to finally have you so close, after so, so long of devastatingly praying he could feel you once more.......... if he had a tail, it would for sure be wagging so fast it would morph into a blur. and the way he holds you is different, as if his gentle nature is reserved for you and you only (which it is. this is literally him in a nutshell).

and when you had instinctively buried your face into his neck upon landing, clinging to him out of fear of hitting the ground, he literally melts. i'm serious, he literally just 🫠🫠🫠🫠. the faint hum of laughter and adoration that escapes his throat breaks you out of your state of shock. you made it safely to the ground without breaking every bone in your body, hooray! (as if there is a single reality in existence where leon would ever allow that to happen, but i digress).

you meet his gaze and there is that all-too familiar stare he gives you. leon's arms holding onto you like a lifeline uncovers a memory you have of yourself being held like this all those years ago. you can't recall exactly where in raccoon city you were, but you can remember how humiliated you were when you tripped over a crack in the pavement and ate shit. there was the fairest of scrapes against your shin, but the mortification hurt far more than any wound. while you dust yourself off and attempt to ignore the burning stares of pedestrians, a shout of your name sparks your attention.

the RPD gear and besotted eyes you're met with could be no other than that baby-faced rookie. you ponder of what he was doing on this side of town. was it a simple coincidence you had run into each other? or perhaps, had he followed you? just when you think you can't feel more embarrassed, leon gets down on one knee and dramatically inspects your wound. and my god, he acts like you were shot or something. he visibly shudders from the sight of your leg; people begin to gather around the commotion. with pure ease, he then scoops you into his arms to bring you to safety. you can feel his heart pound like a machine gun beneath the palm of your hand.

despite the humiliation deprived from this event, you fortunately are free from anything mortifying in los iluminados. however, leon doesn't seem to understand when to take a hint.

"uh... you can put me down now." you come out of your memory to thrash in his grasp and avoid his intense gaze, but your prince charming seems to still be caught in his y/n-filled daze.

after a few long seconds, your comment seems to finally reach his brain. "huh?" his response is faint and you almost don't hear it.

you repeat yourself and begrudgingly, leon then slowly puts you back onto your feet, savoring the last few seconds spent with you in his arms. exactly where you belong. you can only fear how much more suffocating affection you'll have to endure before you can finally remember what happened that night.

i think someone legit needs to slap me across the face and bring me back into reality cause holy shit...... i went WAYY too far with this. my brain is a mess thank u for reading.

i have more thoughts about this........ just incase u were curious........ ;)

[percyluvr]

Heyhey :D can i request a percy jackson x daughter of demter!reader headcanons? Plss 💗

percy jackson x daughter of demeter!reader summary: hcs about percy w a daughter of demeter

his first thought when he saw u was 'she is so cute i need her in my life IMMEDIATELY'

when he went to ask you out, he bought one of those flower language books so that he could get you flowers that were meaningful and romantic

u literally almost cried when he gave u the bouquet bc it was the most romantic thing u had ever received in ur entire life

HE EVEN PUT UR FAVORITE FLOWERS IN IT GOODBYE

he's such a sweetie and he always listen when u talk

he loves it if u have a softer voice

he just loves u fr

but anyways

he always follows u around when u go around camp making sure all the plants are healthy

and he asks so many questions

hes genuinely so interested

he gives you carefully picked out bouquets of flowers and he keeps some flowers so when they die he knows when to get you a new bouquet

hes ur #1 fan

he thinks its so cool how u can manipulate plants n shit

and make them grow

he just finds it really cute how u care so much about the planet too

sometimes yall just sit in silence and do a lil gardening

u show him what u love and he shows u what he loves

HE LOVES taking you underwater

and if u can like do shit with the seaweed he thinks its awesome

like one time u changed the seaweed to be changed like a heart and he almost cried because it was so cute

u made him a flower crown to match the one u like wearing

and he literally died

he could NOT stop telling people about it

he wore it everywhere

and u replaced it every time he lost it... which was a lot more times than he would've preferred

he felt bad

but u didnt really mind remaking it so!

yall just be connecting w nature n shit

frolicking in the strawberry patch type beat

he just thinks ur so cute

ur like a little flower to him

BUT that doesnt mean that he doesnt think ur powerful

bc lord knows u ARE

one time he made you mad and u almost strangled him with a vine

he knew to never piss you off again

yall r honestly chill tho

like the two of you just chill around camp with each other

the shit that goes on at camp doesnt phase you at all

adding onto that, i think yall have just been through so much together that u have a strong ass connection that nobody could break

when yall go on quests together, it always goes smoothly

you keep him in check

but u also let him have his fun

in conclusion, yall were just made for each other

[chaifootsteps]

A summary from someone who was at the premiere:

Hi! I'm the person who was at the premiere and noted how Viv ignored her fans (yes the theater was small looking back on it, this was my first time going to an event like this)

Here are the summaries of the first 3 episodes

Episode 1 The episode starts with an origin story about how the angels created the world and Lucifer was one of them and was very creative and shit. So when the angels made Adam and Lilith (and before you ask yes Hazbin's Adam is the first man, they confirmed it in the episode) and Lilith rebelled she and Lucifer became chums and ended up convicing Eve to eat the fruit, which brought sin into the world and made the angels banish Lucifer and Lilith to hell which made Lucifer sad and lose his spark because he's now surrounded by shitty humans. Lilith meanwhile continued to inspire demons with her singing and because heaven didn't like that they sent the exterminators to make sure demons do not rise up against them. But now it is up to Lucifer's and Lilith's daughter to help sinners.

Then it turns out that this was a book Charlie was reading and Vaggie comes in and comforts her telling her she believes in her. Also it turns out that Charlie has not seen Lilith in 7 years. Vaggie then tells Charlie that Alastor has a surprise and we get to see the ad Alastor made. Turns out that they forced Alastor to make an ad with video (and yes he was upset about it). Big woop the ad sucks cause Alastor insulted people in it. Angel Dust suggests to remake the ad into a fucking porno because of course he does.

Then Charlie gets a call from Lucifer who tells her that Adam wants to meet with her and she sings Happy Day in Hell during her walk to Heaven's HQ thing. Meanwhile Vaggie decides to redo the ad which involves Husk reading off the script and Angel sexually harassing him. Vaggie gets upset and Alastor sees this and promises to make a deal wirh her, he helps her make the ad with a video camera and in return they never make him do shit with video again.

Charlie reaches the Heaven's HQ where she meets Adam who literally talks like Chaz. He swears all the time, talks about sex, and even called himself "the original dick" or something , I dunno I had a stroke. He just spends like an hour or so talking to Charlie about how cool he is, how he had sex with this one chick, ect ect. He's really no different from the average demon. Also he's a hologram and he eats ribs during this. Charlie than finally gets to explain her plan to Adam but he and Lute go "no" because sinners had their chance as humans and Adam likes killing them. He then sings a song which I forgot the lyrics for, and yes the "this shot is EVERYTHING" clip came from that song, and he kicks out Charlie. Oh and the next extermination will be 6 months later because Adam felt like being a dick.

Charlie comes back home all sad and shit and Vaggie tries to cheer her up by showing her the new ad. Until it interrupts and Katie Killjoy announces the news that the next extermination will be in 6 months instead of 12. And yes her voice is literally just Bryce Tankthrust's. The episode ends with Lute showing Adam an image of a decapitated exterminator, and now they want to kill all demons because of the murder of an exterminator.

And that's episode 1

Episode 2 Episode 2 starts out with Charlie realising sinners are freaking the fuck out, and that this 6 month deadline may mean sinners may get desperate to redeem themselves. Also Valentino is constantly DMing Angel because Angel moved out. Then Sir Pentious shows up to fight Alastor again but Alastor kicks his ass.

We then meet the 3 VVVs, and Valentino disemboweled Velvette's model because he's angy Angel moved out, so she calls Vox to calm him down. Vox shows up and calms down Valentino. And bruh, Valentino somehow acts no different from Stella. He's so unthreatening and goofy with how much he acts like a spoiled child who got mad his lolipop got taken away it fucking hurts! During their chat, Valentino mentions to Vox that Angel is not the only patron at the Hazbin Hotel, but Alastor is as well which angers Vox because he thought Alastor was gone when he vanished 7 years ago.... wait-

Alastor defeats Sir Pent by punting him after he rips off a strip from Alastor's jacket. Alastor leaves to get his suit fixed up but not before summoning some monsters to guard the hotel, with whom Angel flirts with because of fucking course he does. Then we get a duet between Alastor and Vox where Alastor basically announces he's back baybee. The three VVVs then try to inflitrate the hotel so Vox they have to hire someone Charlie would not expect as a spy.

Charlie returns with no new patrons until Sir Pent knocks on the door. Vaggie is about to murk him when Charlie decides to give him a chance and welcomes him into the hotel. There she tries to teach Sir Pent how to be good by making him learn about apologizing, so he apologizes to Alastor for ripping his jacket and gives him back the strip he tore off. Alastor responds by burning the strip.

Charlie then does an excersize with the crew where they all introduce themselves, and only Charlie and Sir Pent do it. At some point we get the Roleplaying scene where Sir Pent pretends he is an innocent kid, and Charlie tells him he'll be on his way to redemption in no time, which makes Angel sad for some reason. Angel goes to his room where he scrolls through voice mails Valentino sent him which flip flop between "Angel baybee I'm so sorry" to "Pick up you fucking whore". And the last one is him telling Angel that "there is no hope for you" while red smoke wraps around sad Angel.

Later that night Angel gets up to get a drink of booze when he walks in on Sir Pent putting up a camera from Vox. He confronts Sir Pent and they start fighting. Charlie and Vaggie walk in and Angel reveals what Sir Pent did. At that moment Vox calls Sir Pent and tells him he's a failure who should die because he failed. Sir Pent then bows down to Angel and Vaggie saying he's sorry and they can kill him. They're about to do so when Charlie breaks out into a song how redemption starts with a sorry. They all then go back to bed when Alastor t poses into the room and bullies Vox for a bit before breaking the watch Sir Pent used to have to talk to Vox.

||Also Niffty simped for Sir Pent for a bit because he's a "bad boy", but after he and Charlie sang that song she got upset that he wasn't a bad boy anymore||

And that's ep 2

Episode 3 So episode 3 starts out with it being one week since Sir Pent joined and Vaggie is chewing him out for building weapons and havine egg minions. So she has Alastor take the egg men away. (We also get a scene of Alastor eating a deer carcass for breakfast) Sir Pent also keeps trying to shoot ppl because he doesn't trust anyone.

In response to this Charlie tries to do some trust exercises for the rest of the crew, such as having them say the most intimate things about themselves while also falling down and letting the crew catch them. She tells them how much she loves them and Vaggie catches her. Angel sexually harasses Husk by saying he loves sucking popsicles and then falling in his arms and saying he loves sucking dick too. Sir Pent says he loved his minions and tells ppl not to catch them but they all do anyways. Niffty confesses that she loves killing mama bug infront of their babies so they learn fear. No one catches her but she keeps jumping off the stage over and over. Then Angel suggests another exercise.

Cut back to Alastor and the egg fellows who meet up with Zestial (who also has one of the hottest voices in the show like holy fuck, then again he's voiced by Ozzie's VA). Also people seem to be so scared of Zestial they either run away or the hurt themselves. Alastor and Zestial talk about how Alastor went missing for 7 years and is now working with the princess of hell or sumthin. They end up in a meeting for overlords where Rosie shows up but she says nothing. Also despite Alastor telling the egg sapiens to stay outside one of them ends up following him. Here we meet Carmilla who gathered the overlords to talk about protecting sinners from the extermiation or something. Then Velvette shows up because Vox and Val didn't wanna show up, and she reveals to the overlords a dismembered exorsist head. Then we get a song where Velvette and Carmilla duet and the song kinda slapped? I forgot most of the conversation tho. Then after the song Carmilla tells the Overlords to leave, and Alastor makes the egg man that followed him spy on Carmilla, and it turns out that she's the one that killed the exorsist but I forgot why she keeps it a secret. Also Carmilla and Zestial seem to be a thing. Then she gets a song that's also a duet with Vaggie which I also forgot what it's about.

Speaking of, Angel takes the crew to a BDSM club because of fucking course its a sex joke. Vaggie says no and then takes the crew to a turf war and makes them all fight against other sinners to make them learn how to trust one another??? It some how ends up working btw. Later on after the afromentioned duet Vaggie apologizes to Charlie but she says it's ok since Angel, Sir Pent, Husk, and Niffty seem to be chummy now now that they helped one another in that turf fight. Alastor returns with the eggs and Vaggie allows Sir Pent to have them back. The episode ends with Sir Pent and his eggs going to bed.

And that is the end of my Hazbin screening.

[comphy-and-cozy]

The After Party

Pairing: Brady Skjei x Reader (f) x Andrei Svechnikov

Summary: When your new fling Andrei invites you to his joint birthday party, you’re surprised to learn that it’s a past flame who shares his birthday. And surely a double birthday calls for a double celebration — even if that means that you are the gift.

Word Count: 6.3K

Author's Note: Happy belated birthday, @smileysvech! Your bday gang bang awaits. 😘 Thanks for letting me take creative filth liberty to write your ultimate fantasy with my two favorite Carolina princes. Also S/O to @ryanpulock for literally remaking two gifs for my graphic and for encouraging the depravity. I’m not sure if anyone’s ever written this on tumblr dot com before so… enjoy!

Warnings: Smut (18+ ONLY). Light alcohol use/mention, swearing, one (1) use of Y/N. Threesome (MFM - no MxM), fingering (vaginal + anal - f receiving), oral sex (m + f receiving (vaginal + anal)), unprotected sex, vaginal sex, anal sex (f receiving), double penetration, creampie oh my god this is so depraved. **Please do your research before engaging in any sexual activity but especially anal sex. This is fiction and by no means any indication of how one should prepare. :)

Masterlist

When Andrei Svechnikov slid into your DMs, you were shocked, to say the least. When he showed genuine interest, asking you on a real date instead of the standard late-night meet up, you were even more surprised. 

That was two months ago. Since then, you’ve crossed a myriad of unexpected things off your list with regard to Andrei Svechnikov. You’ve had a sleepover—with just cuddling—and gone out to breakfast, even started a small collection of Carolina Hurricanes t-shirts in your drawer, remnants of late nights and slow mornings with the Russian superstar. You’ve met a small handful of his teammates—always introduced vaguely, with no title to give you any inkling of where you stood relationship-wise, or even how he really feels about you. 

Tonight is your next ‘first’: a Canes party. Andrei’s birthday party, to be specific, meaning your man (date? Boyfriend?)—whatever—is the star of the show.

To say you’re nervous would be an understatement, hence the extra shot before your Uber arrives to take you to Andrei’s. If he notices, he doesn’t seem bothered, greeting you with a smirk and a kiss on the cheek.

“You look hot.”

“Well, I have to look nice for your birthday, don’t I?” you say with a shy smile, still not used to this Adonis of a man complimenting you and checking you out so shamelessly. He responds with a slap to your ass and something murmured about a birthday gift later that earns a dull throb between your legs as you follow him out the door. 

As you’re walking into the party—at the house of one of his teammates, whose name he hadn’t mentioned—Andrei takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers between his large ones. The action causes the butterflies in your chest to flutter excitedly at the outward display of affection.

It doesn’t take long for a drink to find its way into your hand and several introductions to take place. You’re still just Your Name, No Title, though your adrenaline barely lets you dwell on it, focusing instead of learning names and not making a fool of yourself. While you make small talk with Sebbe, the side profile of a handsome brunette catches your eye. He’s laughing, a crinkle around his eye as he smiles, and there’s something about his laugh that feels so familiar…

Andrei approaches as you’re building the courage to ask who the mystery man is. With his arm slipped casually around your waist, the question disappears as quickly as it came. Sebbe teases Andrei, who blushes and nudges him with his leg.

When Sebastian takes his leave, called to the rowdy game of flip cup outside, you’re left alone with Andrei. He gives your hip a reassuring squeeze, almost as if to say, you’re doing great. You barely have time to process. before someone is bounding up to the two of you like a golden retriever—and of course, it’s none other than your brunette mystery man. 

“Svech, the birthday boy!” he greets, clapping his hand against Andrei’s in a greeting. Andrei smiles, then gestures to you, ready to introduce you. Your eyes slide up to his, instantly registering why he’s so familiar—

“Brady?”

You watch as the same realization dawns on his face, his eyebrows raised in surprise. “Oh, shit — hey, Y/N!”

“What are you doing here?” 

“I could ask you the same question,” he shoots back, though his eyes flick to Andrei with a hint of realization before his beautiful brown irises are back on yours. 

Andrei pauses, confusion written on his face as he looks between the two of you. He quickly racks his brain, trying to remember if he’d already introduced you. The memory never comes, though, because he hasn’t, and he realizes a moment too late that you two already know each other, somehow, some way.

“You two know each other?”

You bite your lip, contemplating how you want to approach as you glance over at Brady. Because how do you tell your new fuck buddy that his teammate is your former fuck buddy?

“Brady and I…”

“We used to—”

“—we used to hang out when he lived in New York,” you finish for him, your eyes shifting hopefully to Andrei, praying that he won’t read between the lines and that Brady will take the hint to keep his mouth shut.

“Oh,” is all Andrei says, and in an instant you know that he has, in fact, put the pieces together. Of course, the way Brady’s eyes are glittering as he looks at you doesn’t help, either. You’re sure he’s reflecting on one of the many times he had you crying out his name in his bed after a party not-so-dissimilar to the one you’re at.

“Welcome to our joint birthday party,” he says with a warm smile, and you’re thankful that he’s decided to keep any extracurricular thoughts to himself.  “Did Svech tell you we share the same birthday?”

“No, he didn’t,” you smile back, offering him a ‘Happy Birthday’ as you raise your drink, taking an extra long gulp in an effort to aid your nerves. 

Brady thanks you, then excuses himself to greet a few other teammates who’ve walked in, leaving you standing awkwardly with Andrei. He’s quiet, toying with the label on his beer bottle, and you shift uncomfortably. 

Is he mad? Does he think I’m a whore? 

“I can leave, if you want me to,” you finally say quietly, deciding to just address the elephant in the room; Andrei isn’t stupid and has surely figured it out. You’re afraid to look him in the eye, instead casting your gaze to the hardwood floor. You know you didn’t do anything wrong, but you’d understand if he was no longer interested given the layer of complication Brady added to your relationship. 

Your words make him pause, and you can feel his eyes on you. He tucks a finger under your chin and tilts your head up to face him, looking you firmly in the eye. “No. I want you here.”

A rush of emotion floods your system, almost embarrassed at his display of affection. He’s never been so direct with you, and part of you wonders if the Brady discovery has forced it out of him. With a nod, you smile as he presses his lips to yours softly. 

Later, you find yourself in the hot tub with Andrei, Marty, and Nykki as the party starts to wane down, both the water and the heat in Andrei’s eyes causing your body to warm from the inside out. The conversation is light, casual, and your uncertainty after your unexpected reunion with Brady might as well have never happened. 

When Marty and Nykki bid their farewells a little while later, you’re alone with your new Russian friend, who scoots closer to you in the otherwise empty hot tub. Underneath the water, his large hand reaches for your knee, giving you a squeeze. You offer him a smile, trying to hide the effect he has on you.

“Brady seems pretty excited that you’re here.”

“I’m sure it was just the alcohol,” you wave off his comment, doing your best to hide your surprise that he’s returned to the topic.

Andrei hums, and you know he doesn’t believe your indifference, your nonchalant response. You wouldn’t either, if the roles were reversed. 

“It really wasn’t a big thing,” you add, feeling the need to clarify—to justify your past relationship. “It was totally casual.”

And then you feel his fingers take flight in a slow glide on your leg. Your breath hitches slightly when you realize, seeing the tiny smirk that creeps onto his face. His movements are skewed by the distortion in the water and the ripple in the surface, so he moves confidently and with little hesitation.

“Did he touch you here?” his voice purrs in your ear, his hand sliding up your thigh. 

“Andrei…”

“How about here?” his other hand caresses your breast, your nipple hardening under his touch despite the heat of the water. 

“Did he make you come?”

Up ‘til now, Andrei has been more than satisfactory in the bedroom, but he’s reserved. He’s not afraid to leave marks and show his strength a little bit, but you can tell he’s been holding something back, that there’s another layer hiding beneath his kind surface. He’s confident, that much is clear, but you’ve sensed an almost cocky interior that’s been waiting to make an appearance, biding its time until it can ravage you.

“Sure fuckin’ did, bud,” a voice that isn’t yours sounds from the patio. Both you and your companion look up in surprise, unaware that anyone was around. 

Brady stands with a hand in his pocket, a bottle of beer held loosely in his other as he observes the scene in front of him. You don’t know how long he’s been there, but you assume it’s been long enough for him to glean what’s happening—Andrei, jealous, claiming you back into his possession. Part of you wonders if he’d want to watch.

“Made her scream quite a bit, too.”

Instantly, you feel Andrei tense beside you, hand gripping onto your thigh as Brady welcomes himself into the hot tub. He’s calm, cool, collected, fully aware he’s riling Andrei up and flustering you at the same time.

Once he’s settled, he takes another swig of his beer before nodding at you. “Have to say, you were one of the biggest reasons I was disappointed to leave New York when I got traded.”

Andrei grimaces, the pulse point in his neck ticking. He knows what Brady’s doing, too, and he’s weighing his options. The last thing he wants to do is fight his own teammate, but he does want to wipe that smug expression off of his handsome face. Fuck, why did your previous exploit have to be him—the handsome Disney prince?

As he watches you and Brady make small talk, playing catch up on each other’s lives, Andrei contemplates. He could fall to follow Brady’s whims, loosening the control he has and blurring the line of who you’re here to see. 

Or he could push back. Assert himself, solidifying his place in your life as your man. 

And somehow, the second option seems much more appealing.

“Babe, come on,” he says, interrupting Brady’s hilarious story about the time he took the wrong subway in NYC, ignoring the way you giggle. “Let’s go into the sauna.”

Puzzled at the abrupt change of pace, you look at him and watch as he offers you his hand to help you out of the hot tub with a smile. With a shrug, you send Brady an apologetic glance before accepting it. You can feel his eyes on your ass as you step out, the warm water falling from your body.

Once you’re inside the sauna, Andrei turns up the temperature. As he sits down, he pulls you into his lap, easily adjusting your body until you’re straddling him. The wooden bench is warm and hard beneath your knees, but the way Andrei is looking at you is enough to distract you from any discomfort. 

His hand glides along your jaw, smirking once he sees the hitch in your throat. Part of you is anxious, worried that someone will walk in. Your mind flashes to Brady, sitting in the hot tub just around the corner, to the times where you’d been in the exact same position in his lap—though, admittedly, never in a sauna.

“I don’t mind that you slept with him,” comes Andrei’s deep voice, murmured lowly as he continues to trail light circles over your damp skin. Relief floods your mind, quickly replaced by surprise when he adds, “Actually, it’s kinda hot.”

“It is?”

Andrei nods with a hum, nipping at a spot on your neck. “Yeah. S’like he warmed you up for me.” 

Between his words and the heat of his mouth against your skin, you mewl. Before you have a chance to say anything back, his pillowy lips are pressing against yours in an open-mouthed kiss, hot and full of fire and unlike any other time he’s kissed you before. Surely the steam and the dim lighting adds to the aura, moisture building between your thighs as you feel where his groin is pressed against you.

“Don’t think I’d mind sharing,” he mumbles against your lips, the deep vibration of his voice buzzing on your mouth. You whimper at his implication, the thought of both of their lips working sinful magic on you almost too much to bear.

Of course, he notices your reaction; it’s impossible to ignore the way your hips roll steadily in his lap. His lips curl into a smile against yours. “Yeah? You’d like that?”

He pulls away, only slightly, to gauge your response. You cast your eyes down shyly, embarrassed, which only makes him smile harder at the contrast—shy despite admitting wanting to be fucked by two men. It’s cute, and it makes him want to ravage you even more than he already does.

“Could go get him right now, if you want,” he says softly. “It is our birthday, after all.”

Brady’s eyes glitter as he takes in the sight of you and Andrei approaching, hand in hand. Something’s different though, judging by the heave of your chest and the way your eyes avert his gaze; briefly, his mind flickers to what happened inside the sauna to yield your reaction. Andrei’s confident, smug, nodding at him in greeting. Something shifts in the air as they communicate silently, messages sent through a jerk of Andrei’s head and a sly smirk.

Eyebrows raised, Brady glances at you, hoping to catch your eye. The shyness of your glance is all he needs to confirm that you’re in, and a toothy grin breaks out on his handsome face. 

“Oh? You gonna give us both a little birthday treat?” he asks, taking in the way you’re nervously chewing on your lip.

The sound of water sloshing has you looking up, seeing water sliding down Brady’s muscular body as he stands up. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he makes his way down the steps and approaches you, tucking a finger under your chin. Flashes of silver in his hair shine in the dim light. “Aw, don’t be shy, sweetheart. You know I only bite if you want me to.”

His less-than-subtle words make the butterflies in your chest beat their wings, heart ticking a touch faster with both of them in such close proximity. It had never really formally ended with Brady, only a few texts exchanged to let you know he was moving and a vague promise to reach out the next time he was in town. He hadn’t, but you weren’t offended; it had never been that kind of relationship.

The indefinite end to your little tryst is what you attribute to the excited pulse of your heart in your throat, able to easily recall the feelings for Brady that had been left dormant over the last few years. They don’t compete with what you feel for Andrei, but they’re enough to have you buzzing as he leads you into the house.

The next thing you know, you find yourself in Brady’s bedroom—foreign to you, though you recognize the bed frame and the bookshelf from his apartment in New York. You shiver, cool now that the air conditioning hits your damp skin. It’s quickly remedied when Andrei’s firm body approaches you from behind, his broad, muscular chest pressed against your back while his arms wrap around you, pulling you flush against him. 

His lips begin a slow, teasing descent on the back of your neck and along your shoulder blade, not wasting any time by waiting for any sort of awkward introduction. You can feel Brady’s eyes on you, observing the way you react to Andrei’s touch, as if trying to remember what makes you tick. He’s gauging his next action, content for now to watch the way goosebumps break out over your skin and take in the small noises emitting from your throat.

Andrei’s large hands pull your hips backwards, until your ass is pressed against a very firm appendage, and you gasp. For all you’ve been worried about how Andrei will react, he seems to thoroughly enjoy the idea of sharing you. Brady’s eyes crinkle, his lips curling up into a smile.

“You like that, sweetheart? Is he hard for you?”

As if to ensure you know that he is, Andrei pushes his hips forward in a short thrust. He accentuates the movement with a nip to your shoulder before Brady’s stepping forward to close the gap between you. Before you can even register the two large bodies you’re deliciously sandwiched between, his lips are on yours in a kiss that sucks the air out of your lungs.

Brady’s hands snake their way up your jaw to tangle in your hair, his tongue quick to find yours as he re-familiarizes himself with your mouth. The feeling of his lips almost instantly recalls memories at the things he used to do to you with them, your unexpected reunion adding flame to the fire. Your mind is hazy, drunk on palomas and desire as Andrei’s hands tug your hips back to afford him the angle to grind his pelvis against you. The kiss is hot, and you’ve completely forgotten about the coolness of your damp swimsuit, your skin shockingly warm as the temperature continues to rise in Brady’s room.

Without warning, four hands flip you around in sync so that you’re facing Andrei, who greets you with a dimpled smirk. Brady’s hands, formerly in your hair, drag heat up your sides to land at your chest, tugging the material of your bikini top to the side to expose your breasts. As Andrei moves forward to kiss you, Brady massages each breast, his lips smirking against your shoulder blade when he hears you let out a faint moan. 

“Fuck, I missed these tits,” he mumbles. “They’re incredible, aren’t they, Svech?”

Andrei nods, leaning his head down to take one of your nipples in his mouth. His tongue circles around it, teeth nipping when it hardens beneath his touch, and your hand finds its place on the back of his head to hold him in place. He and Brady work in tandem, silently massaging your body as you succumb to the pleasure, head lolling back against Brady’s shoulder.

His lips press gently against your temple, drinking in the sighs you let out. It’s his turn to press his erection against your ass as he murmurs, “Can’t wait to fuck that pretty little cunt of yours again, darling. You’ve no idea how much I missed you.”

For being a Disney prince, Brady has always had a filthy mouth, never failing to strike at your deepest, most depraved desires. He mouths at your jaw, fingers flexing into the skin of your hips. “Bet you’re absolutely fucking soaked, aren’t you?”

You nod helplessly, gasping out when Andrei nips at your breast, almost as if to say, attention on me.

“Come sit on my face, malyshka,” he says lowly, eyes flicking to Brady’s with a smirk. Once he’s adjusted, laying flat on the mattress, he holds out his hand to help guide you onto the bed. “Face Brady. Want him to watch.”

You do as you’re told, adjusting as you straddle his chest and scoot forward. Andrei’s expression is hungry as you get into place, his eyes quickly focusing on the apex of your thighs and tugging you closer to his face. The man’s mouth is downright sinful, and you can’t help the way wetness pools between your legs as he devours you with his eyes alone.

It’s only then that you glance at Brady, whose hands are working at the tie on his swimming trunks before shedding the wet fabric to the floor with a whoosh. Your eyes feast on his erection, even more beautiful than you remember it, admiring the way he grips it tightly in his hands.

“You still get wet sucking dick, baby?” he asks, and Andrei answers with an enthusiastic fuck yeah she does before he’s latching his mouth onto your core.

A moan falls from your mouth as his skilled tongue tastes your folds with vigor. Brady allows you a moment to take in the sensation, your eyes fluttering shut while Andrei groans against you. The touch of his hand on your jaw has your eyes opening again, meeting the warmth of his brown irises.

“What do you say we give him a treat, hm? Let him taste how delicious you are?” 

You’re nodding so quickly that he laughs, helping to maneuver you so that you’re bent forward. With the change in angle, Andrei’s tongue is able to probe at your clit, while Brady guides his length toward your mouth. Eagerly, you accept him, the weight of him forgotten but familiar on your tongue.

It isn’t long before Brady’s head is falling back in a sigh as you work your way down his considerable length. He’s smooth, save for the pulsing vein on the underside, and you let the tip of your tongue run along it as you bob your head up and down. His hands tangle in your hair to steady himself, matching the way Andrei’s hands have now begun to grip your ass tightly.

“Still have never met someone who sucks dick as good as you do.”

Preening at his praise, you allow him deeper, finally pressed against the back of your throat as he groans lowly. Andrei’s voice is muffled, a deep “Fuck” murmured against your core as he reaps the reward of your arousal from sucking Brady off, growing wetter with each sound that escapes from his pretty throat.

Before long, the sinful work of Andrei’s tongue slows the movement of your own mouth, pulling yourself off of Brady’s length to mouth at the base as you moan. Your movements are slowed, distracted by the pleasure that your Russian is sending through your body. Brady reacts seamlessly, his hand gently guiding your mouth toward his balls, enjoying the way your tongue laves against the sensitive skin in combination with the moans that fall from your mouth. 

“You gonna come for him, sweetheart? Gush all over that handsome face of his?”

You barely have time to nod before Andrei’s tongue flicks and sends you into overdrive, a loud cry leaving your throat. His mouth works you through your climax, tongue furiously matching your movements to prolong it as he laps up your nectar. A low chuckle bubbles up from Brady’s chest, amused as he watches your body come down from its high.

“You always look so pretty when you come.”

“You’re both pretty when you come,” you shoot back, a wave of mischief passing through you, as though your orgasm reinvigorated your confidence. Brady offers his hand to help you slide off of Andrei’s face—though you wouldn’t have complained about staying there for the rest of the night. 

Andrei gives your ass a slap before he wipes off his face on the back of his hand. You can see remnants of you glistening on his upper lip, and the heat between you is palpable as he caresses your face before jerking his head back toward the mattress. “Go on, malyshka. Why don’t you show him how good you look when you ride my cock?”

With a smile, you nod, returning to a similar position as before, except this time, you’re straddling his waist rather than his face. And this time, instead of his warm tongue bobbing between your legs, it’s his dick, hard and weeping as it begs for entrance to your cunt.

You smirk at him, wrecked and panting beneath you, as you drag your hips along his length, grinding your clit against him as you hold yourself up on his muscular chest. Brady’s taken a seat on the bench at the foot of the bed, watching intently as he leisurely strokes himself.

“Don’t— don’t tease, kisa,” Andrei begs, the desperation in his voice near enough to make you moan. 

And who are you to argue? It is his birthday, after all.

Sinking down onto him, your mouth opens in a silent scream as you feel him stretching you open. He’s big, bigger than you’ve ever had before, and you’re still getting used to the way he hits spots inside you that you didn’t even know existed. Andrei likes it, though, smug at the slow way you swallow his length and hoping that Brady’s taken notice at the raw, pleasured moan that you let out. The thought disappears quickly when he bottoms out inside you, your eyes fluttering shut for a moment to accommodate his size, feeling the way he pulses inside your heat. 

“Fuck,” you whisper, and Andrei silently encourages you by resting his large hands on your hips for support. He’s patient, waiting for you to move, and eventually you do.

Soon, you’re moving in a steady rhythm, the sound of his thighs clapping against your ass filling the room. Andrei’s hands help to move you on his length, but his eyes are distracted by the bounce of your breasts. Briefly, your eyes meet Brady’s, who’s equally torn at whether to look at your face or your tits. 

In a sudden movement, Andrei’s hands are gripping your hips and flipping you over, your back abruptly hitting the mattress near Brady’s thigh. You barely have time to register the new position before his large hands are pulling apart your legs and pushing himself inside you, instantly setting a hurried pace. 

It’s a display of dominance, of the ease in which he can manhandle you, like a reminder to both you and Brady who you belong to. He might be sharing with his teammate for the night, but at the end of the day you’re still his girl. He drives pleasure into you with each push of his hips, his hands gripping your sides so tightly you think there might be bruises tomorrow. The force of his thrusts are enough to render you speechless, and your eyes close as you absorb every sensation he brings to life.

The feeling of Andrei’s lips on your jaw and the rough sound of him panting in your ear have your eyes blinking open. You catch Brady’s expression, hungry, as he watches the way Andrei claims you for his own. A fire ignites in his eyes when he watches Andrei’s hand snake between your bodies, the pad of his finger quickly finding your clit.

Instead of maintaining his rhythm and driving you to your second crest, he slows his hips to a painstaking pace. He’s unable to prevent the smirk that blooms on his face at the way you instantly whine, pulsing around him desperately.

“You like having an audience, don’t you?” he teases, accent thick. “You like that he’s watching me fuck you, huh?”

“Andrei,” you rasp, your hands clutching onto his biceps that are far too large for you to hold. “Please.”

“Answer him, sweetheart,” comes Brady’s voice. It’s not a command, but you want to obey anyways, and you nod with a gasp as Andrei pauses inside you, balls deep while he waits for your reply. “You like being on display, hm?”

“Y-yes, I love when- when he watches,” you stutter. “Drei— please —”

“Well, I love him watching you come undone for me. First my tongue, now all over my cock. Isn’t that right, baby?”

A strangled moan is your reply, eyes rolling back as he presses directly against your g-spot, pausing for a moment to feel the way you throb around him. There’s something so incredibly hot about his admission, wanting Brady to see the effect he has on you.

“You can do it, kisa,” he murmurs, his hips resuming their delayed pace. “Come for me.”

All at once, you realize he’s not going to speed up, instead content to drive you slowly to insanity. His calm, confident demeanor is annoyingly sexy, as is the smug expression on his face. The pressure of his finger on your clit sends fireworks through your core, the steady punch of his dick against your g-spot enough to make your toes curl.

Your mouth falls open as he pushes you closer to the cliff, and around a thick accent, he demands, “Fucking come for me, dorogoy.”

You have no choice but to obey, your climax surging through you as your legs go stiff around Andrei’s hips. Distantly, you can hear Brady groan while Andrei hums in approval. The movement of his hips don’t cease, instead working you through your high until your legs fall limply to the mattress.

He sits back, eyes glued to your pussy as he pulls out, pleased with the way his dick is coated in your orgasm.  

“Fuck, look at the mess you made,” he smirks. You do, and through the haze of your orgasm, you itch to taste him. But then, he’s turning his focus  toward his friend, and your attention shifts. “She’s all yours, Skjeisy.”

“Best birthday gift you could ever get me, Svech,” Brady replies, eyes raking over your body hungrily. 

Your cheeks warm at his words, suddenly shy again as you glance up at him through your lashes. He stands before you, muscular and handsome, the streaks of gray in his hair shining silver in the low light of the room. The word daddy comes to mind, but you keep it to yourself, instead watching as he shifts onto the mattress.

“You still like taking it in the ass, baby?” he asks, and your heart flutters at his question. You haven’t done that with Andrei, not yet; you haven’t even broached the subject. But now he’s looking at you with heat in his eyes, slightly surprised but more than that, he’s intrigued. 

You bite your lip and nod, unable to prevent the grin that spreads on your face as Brady hums, surely reminiscing on your past encounters. Andrei’s eyes are hot on you, though you can’t look away from Brady’s as he tugs you closer to where he’s knelt on mattress. His mouth is quick to find yours again, his tongue not wasting any time, as if to let you know how eager he is.

When he plunges two fingers into you, they slip in with ease from your arousal and your orgasm. He pulses them, exploring the tightness of your cunt, his dick throbbing against his leg as he does. Brady whistles when he pulls out two glistening fingers, observing at the way they shine in the dim light of the bedroom. 

“Be a good girl and taste yourself for me,” he says, voice sweet like honey as he pushes the fingers past your lips. It’s tangy and salty on your tongue, but you suck them obediently, relishing the flavor.

Andrei groans at the way your lips wrap around the digits, undoubtedly reminiscing on the time it’s been his fingers or his dick subjected to the pleasures of your mouth. 

Brady murmurs to Andrei, something about the bedside table, and he disappears and reappears in an instant with a bottle of lube in his hand. With both hands, Brady maneuvers your body and positions you so you’re on your knees, your face pressed against the soft sheet on the bed. You feel his fingers run over your pussy, still sensitive from Andrei’s treatment, clicking his tongue at the way it looks glistening with your cum. He catches some of the liquid oozing out on his finger and drags it up toward your puckered hole, circling lightly before he adds a healthy drizzle of lube. Once you’re thoroughly primed, he pushes the tip of his index into you.

A loud cry leaves your lips, the sensation vaguely familiar but strange. Brady takes his time, working you open until he gradually adds a second finger. 

“You think you can take both of us, sweetheart?” he whispers, his voice silky smooth. Your eyes widen, connecting with Andrei’s, who offers a smug wink. Damn them and their teammate telepathy, making you feel like the third wheel even though you’re the one they’re fucking.

When you nod, Andrei shakes his head and tilts your chin up to meet his eyes again. “Gotta hear you say it, kisa.”

“Yes, I want to,” you say, though you can’t hide the shake in your voice. Whether it’s from nerves or the way that Brady’s fingers are probing your ass, you aren’t entirely sure.

Andrei’s voice is soft, a stark contrast to the scene in Brady’s bedroom. “If you want to stop, at any time, just say the word, and we’re done, okay?” 

His words are comforting, and suddenly you feel yourself throb with desire at the thought of both of them filling you up. You’re nodding again, your voice a bit more desperate this time as Brady adds his tongue to the movement of his fingers, the heat from his mouth enough to make you cry out. 

“Fuck, you taste even better than I remember,” he groans against you, lapping up the moisture that gathers around his fingers. Andrei hums in agreement, taking in the way your eyes roll back in your head at his teammate’s sinful work. 

Once you’ve been thoroughly manhandled and maneuvered on top of Andrei and beneath Brady, sandwiched between the heat of their bodies, you let out another whimper when Andrei slides himself into your pussy. The feeling is familiar, unlike the sensation of Brady easing himself past the tight ring of your ass. He’s slow, steady, reminding you to breathe while Andrei rubs gentle circles on your waist with his thumb, pressing open-mouthed kisses at the base of your throat.

When you cry out, Brady freezes, waiting patiently for you to grant permission to keep going. As the unusual feeling subsides, you do, turning your head to find his cheek that you whisper a soft please against. 

Eventually, Brady’s hips reach the globes of your ass, and both of them are fully sheathed in you. The breath in your lungs has vanished, replaced by everything them. Never in your life have you felt more whole, more complete; stuffed – literally – to the brim in a deliciously taboo way, completely and entirely theirs. With your face buried in the crook of Andrei’s neck, you beg them to move.

Brady’s hands grip your sides tightly as he alters his movements with Andrei’s. Push, pull, push, pull. Deep, hot puffs of breath hit you from both sides, encasing you between them. The feeling is otherworldly, delicious, and now that you’ve grown accustomed to feeling so full, you’re insatiable, crying out and letting the pleasure rake through you. 

“Who knew I’d get to fuck this perfect ass again,” Brady muses, breaking the symphony of heavy breathing and skin slapping against skin. “Happy fucking birthday to me.”

Filthy words and promises spew from Brady’s mouth, praising you and reminding you of the many times he’s brought you to a crest; meanwhile, Andrei whispers broken Russian as his mouth marks up your collarbone. It makes you whimper, hearing the way you wreck him, feeling the way he throbs inside of you with his hands gripping your sides.

“I’m –” you pant, “I’m c-close.”

“Yeah? You gonna come all over these birthday cocks?” Brady teases, leaning back to watch the way he splits you open, murmuring in approval at the sight. “What a good little slut, taking both of us on our birthday.”

It’s not until Andrei’s face scrunches up as he hits his own climax that you are sent spiraling into yours, the feeling of his warmth spilling into your core the catalyst for your own release. A loud cry escapes your mouth, calling a jumble of cuss words, eyes squeezing shut as you let the waves roll through you.

“Holy fuck,” Brady groans, “I didn’t think your asshole could get any tighter. Fuck.”

His voice is losing its edge, a little more breathy as he pounds into you, seeking his high. A few moments later he pauses with a loud grunt as he, too, climaxes. After a pause to catch his breath, throbbing wantonly inside you, he pulls out with another groan, followed quickly by a whistle.

“Svech,” he says, “Come here and look at this.”

Another maneuver has Andrei slipping out from beneath you, meeting his teammate’s side to gaze at your backside, dripping two sets of cum and surely looking thoroughly wrecked. In their absence, you feel so empty, clenching desperately around nothing.

Andrei hums before you feel his hand on your ass, pulling apart your cheeks to get a better look. He murmurs something in Russian, pleased. 

You barely have a moment to register warm breath and the scratch of his five o’clock shadow before his tongue is licking a thick stripe from your clit all the way up to your ass, lapping up the liquid that’s drooling out of your holes. The sensation is euphoric, if not overstimulating, but he knows exactly what he’s doing to drive you just a little bit more insane.

Brady chuckles behind you at the sound of your whimpers, muffled only by the pleasured sighs coming from Andrei against your center, like he can’t get enough of the taste of you filled with birthday cum. He laps you up like a starving man, and you’re about to push him away when he’s parting from you of his own accord.

With Brady’s help, he flips you over so you’re facing them. Brady’s expression is smug, gazing down at you hotly—as if he didn’t just ruin you, and wants to ruin you again. Andrei, though, is looking at you softly, a sharp contrast to the way his face glistens with your juices. He licks his lips, and if you were standing, your knees would’ve gone weak at the sight. 

With a nudge at Andrei’s arm, he grins. “Happy birthday, dude.”

SIMILAR CONTENT:

Sundress Season

Glittery

A Night in Paris

Midnight Rain (blurb)

[thepunkranger]

Resident Evil Characters - A Summary

Note: This is entirely my own opinion and said with a heavy dose of humor

Please enjoy

Chris Redfield

OG

Started as a twunk

Became an angry gorilla man???

Alpha Male™️

Punches boulders

Wants you to marry his sister

Smoker

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife

Rude to wait staff

2/10 - Just a guy. Hit him with your car

-

Jill Valentine

Other OG

Arguably better main of RE1

Master of Unlocking

Bisexual Bob™️

Butch

Supercop

Once got mind-controlled into going blonde

Rocket Launcher babe

PTSD

Big Strap Energy

Giant anime gun

10/10

-

Albert Wesker

OG Baddy

Sunglasses

Thinks he’s cool

A little too into Chris

“What are we going to do this game, Albert?”

“What we do every game, Alex: try to take over the world”

Matrix jacket

Maybe a vampire?

Looks like my uncle (derogatory)

4/10

-

Barry Burton

Bear

A+ line delivery

Just happy to be a part of things

Wishes his daughter would talk to him

Comes through in a pinch

Got lost on his way to The Last of Us

Father figure

Not dead out of sheer dumb luck

8/10

-

Rebecca Chambers

Baby butch

Sees the best in everyone

Autism be damned, my girl can work a shotgun

Sporty

Mommy Domme/Babygirl switch vibes

Sweet coffee addict

Doing fine, thanks for asking

Awkward thumbs up

9/10

-

Billy Coen

Bad Boy™️

Never bothered to take off his handcuffs

Tattoos

Mullet???

Moral standards

Strong silent type

Whole situation could’ve been avoided by just talking about his issues but no

Queen fan

7/10

-

Leon S. Kennedy

If a golden retriever became a human and then got kicked every day of its life

Having a really bad first day

Into dominant women

Dumb 90s haircut

Uses comedy as a coping mechanism

Hair grows in direct correlation to his level of angst

“Hey demons, it’s me, ya boi”

Sexy

Dog lover

Certified Good Boy™️

Fucked up a perfectly good rookie is what you did. Look at it, it��s got depression

15/10

-

Claire Redfield

College student stuck in the zombie apocalypse

Soft butch

Humanitarian

Forced her brother to teach her how to knife fight

Really into motorcycles

Leather jacket

Rocket Launcher babe #2

Always has at least one adopted child with her

10/10 would ask to babysit

-

Ada Wong

Mommy. Sorry. Mommy- sorry. Mommy-

Grappling hook

Badass spy

Emotionally distant

Soft spot for cute cuddly things (Leon)

Femme fatale

Book lover

Chaotic neutral

Crossbow 😍

Could step on me and I’d say thank you

Rocket launcher babe #3

10/10

-

Sherry Birkin

Goosebumps protagonist

Worst parents ever tbh

Surprisingly good under pressure

Please someone get this girl some therapy

Supergirl

Smartest person here

One hell of a shot

The trauma is immeasurable

Somehow still doing fine

Loves her weird adopted family

8/10

-

Carlos Oliviera

Himbo

First POC main?

Went from three polygons and a white boy haircut in the original to actual gorgeous South American hunk in the remake

Lost his accent along the way for some reason

#1 Jill simp

If Dug from Up was a guy

Only trustworthy person in the whole series

Just wants to help

Gorgeous gorgeous hair

Loves strong women

Hakuna matata

Touch-starved

10/10 would peg

-

Steve Burnside

Twink

Who is this sassy lost child?

Hot Topic employee

Into Claire (she’s too old for you bud)

Choker

Thinks he’s edgy

Whiny

Daddy issues

1/10

-

Luis Serra Navaro

If Puss in Boots was a human

The Most Extra™️

Luscious flowing locks

Definitely into bondage

Used to work for Umbrella

Trying to make up for it

Don Quixote references

Bisexual

Good with his hands

Praying for a threesome with Leon and Ada

10/10

-

Ashley Graham

Basic white girl

Always getting kidnapped

Master of Unlocking #2

Razor flip phone

Ada Wong bisexual awakening (same)

Good with a wrecking ball

Makes Leon catch her every time she has to jump a ledge (also same)

Would like to go to Hot Topic, please

7/10

-

Sheva Alomar

Player 2

Second POC main

Bad AI

Too good for her game

Willing to go on a suicide mission with a guy she just met

Left handed

Deserves a better stylist

Only good part of RE5

Literally my girl got done so dirty just give her another chance please

10/5

-

Moira Burton

“It’s not a phase, dad!”

Probably gay

Weak arms

Skillz

Box dyed her hair at least once

Simple Plan playing in the background

Childhood trauma

7/10

-

Piers Nivans

Trying his best

Appreciates a good steak

Sick of Chris’ bullshit

Good with a rifle

Just a good man

German Shepherd boy

Self-sacrificing

8/10

-

Jake Muller

Wesker’s son

Daddy issues

Who invited Ronan Lynch here?

Quips for days

Bad boy

Loves the type of woman who can kick his ass

The Most Edgy™️

9/10

-

Ethan Winters

Husband of the year

Trusting

Surprisingly chill

The most basic white man in all of RE

Hands? What hands?

Functionally a lizard

Would still love you if you were a worm

Just casually knows how to craft bullets

Moldy

8/10

-

Mia Winters

Toxic girlfriend energy

Literally possessed

Dark sense of humor

Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

Casually working for a bioterrorism organization

Does actually care about her family

Definitely doesn’t have a penicillin allergy

If you can’t be the girl of his dreams, you can at least be the feral swamp witch of his nightmares

2/10

-

Zoe Baker

Lesbian

Mold intolerance

Southern accent thicker than grandma’s gravy

Picked last on the playground

Somehow okay despite her brother being Like That

Joe’s favorite

Science skills

8/10

-

Lucas Baker

Jigsaw

Didn’t even need the mold

Probably got at least one true crime documentary made about him

Working for Mia’s bioterrorism organization

Left his classmate rotting in the attic

Just the worst

0/10

-

Alcina Dimetrescu

Mommy

Please step on me

Elizabeth Bathory vibes

Just fucking huge

Can turn into a dragon

Lesbian

9/10

-

Karl Heisenberg

Grimy

Tumblr Sexyman

When robotics majors get weird

Fights with his siblings

Doesn’t actually care at all about Miranda

In cahoots with the lycans

7/10

-

Rosemary Winters

Mommy and Daddy issues

YA protagonist

Badass

Childhood trauma

Into the Mold-verse

Alternate universe Sherry Birkin

8/10

[shuttershocky]

Consider, Barret.

I'm always considering Barret!

He's my favorite FF7 character and his design in Remake is outstanding.

Parts of Barret didn't age too well (his original character concept is "big and scary man" and he's the only major black character so uhhhhh) but I love that he's an unapologetic revolutionary and a genuinely charismatic leader that cares for the people under him as much as for his cause, whether or not they're even his responsibility.

One of the more endearing parts of the Remake is all the ways that Barret still cares for Cloud despite Cloud only being a hired merc instead of being a true believer in Avalanche; he gets worried when Cloud doesn't make it back immediately after they bomb Mako Reactor 1, and when they bomb Mako Reactor 5 and Barret thinks Cloud is about to fall to his death, Barret immediately says "Listen merc, I was wrong about you!" because he won't let anyone under his command die without him doing everything he could, even if all he can do is tell them they made him proud. He even offers to to stay behind and help Cloud battle Rufus Shinra, expecting Rufus to cheat (he does) and not wanting Cloud to sacrifice himself just to buy the party time to escape when that should be his responsibility as Avalanche leader.

He's even a loving father that spoils his daughter Marlene, but instead of making that detail something that contrasts his hardass personality, it's because he has a child that he's a hardcore eco-terrorist—his child's future is on the line.

I love that he's obviously the most well-read party member, quoting books about planetology and social justice in between all of his other lines being a Mr. T caricature. When the likes of Tifa grow uncomfortable with Avalanche's mission because of the ordinary people whose lives they disrupt too, he's always there to steady her and remind them all that their fight is literally for the planet's life; most Shinra employees are ordinary people just trying to do their best for their families, but Shinra itself is slowly destroying the planet and will kill them all, this fight must be done for everyone's sakes. A good man that serves an evil master must recognize his complicity before he can redeem himself.

One of the coolest things the Yuffie DLC does is expand more on Avalanche as a resistance group with different factions, with the main faction receiving support from Wutai. Barret's group is called "the splinter cell" because the other Avalanche factions don't want to associate with them since they think bombing the Mako reactors goes too far. The rest of Avalanche don't want to destroy Shinra entirely and ruin the lives of many people in the process, they want to force it into reforms.

Sonon and Yuffie end up chatting about this and Sonon says "The problem is, Avalanche is made of good people. They're soft. They want things like better work conditions, fair elections, equality for the undercity members. They can't do what needs to be done, and will eventually be against us. If you ask me, those guys in the splinter cell are who we should be supporting." Sonon is speaking as a Wutai agent out to destabilize Midgar in vengeance for Midgar burning Wutai to the ground back in the war, but it also really highlights how Barret is the only real force for change inside Avalanche, if all the other Avalanche factions are getting support from other countries and doing nothing while Barret is waging a full on war and earning victories against Shinra with only a gun, a girl that can punch good, and a twink with a big sword.

Also gameplay-wise Barret carries this fucking team on his back. Steelskin and his huge healthpool make Barret a tank (very important when many enemies can decide to give you the finger and wipe the entire team), and Lifesaver allows Barret to take damage meant for his teammates, which is critical for surviving many tough fights, but also makes gimmick/joke builds like Nailbat Cloud viable where you want to keep him on 25% health to have that crit chance and damage boost, but can't let him get slapped once or he dies.

That's on top of Barret's skills being your best ranged options in Remake that isn't spending MP (Aerith can do way more damage with spells but also dies to a sneeze without spending materia slots on HP Up), which is also highly important as half the enemies are flying around and Cloud can barely air attack until Rebirth reworked him. There's also bossfight gimmicks like The Arsenal's guns being interrupted by Focus Shot (you normally need Thundaga to stop it and Hard mode doesn't let you use items, making MP conservation really important) Maximum Fury being amazing at building stagger on bosses from the sheer hitcount and being very satisfying to use, and Barret's incredible Deadly Dodge allowing you to cheese the super annoying Brainpod fight because he swings his gun and hits all the Brainpods at once.

Finally, it's really funny how the Remake added in a big cosmic fate force called the Whispers that have the ability to raise the dead and cause or prevent disasters as fate demands it only for them to be destroyed by Barret and Red XIII shooting it repeatedly. Capital D Destiny, a fundamental force of the multiverse, was slain by the power of a guy with a gun and a weird dog.

[weirdmageddon]

I'm taking the plunge because why not:

What are some headcanons regarding small, silly things that happened during the 3 year trips on the Golden Yard and Meteor?

oh lets go i love this sort of ask. no meteor crew stuff sorry im kinda tired but

on the prospitian ship:

the crocodiles are never recovering from that shit bro. un-stonks

alchemizing sessions. probably with mundane household devices like toothbrushes or something. patterned toilet paper. davesprite absolutely remakes the sbahjifier for himself but i think he also likes to hand draw them from time to time. also john and jade alchemizing bathing suits and going swimming on lolar and hanging with the turtles. casey can come too. floaties on casey

the sbahj canon diverges. so many sbahj in-jokes exclusive to the prospitian ship. unfortunately the retcon make it so none of this ever happens :(

he’d never say it but davesprite likes it when john and jade fall asleep on him doing whatever, it makes his presence feel wanted and appreciated by the people he sacrificed his self and humanhood for good for. sorry for immediately going into davesprite but good god is he tragic. oh yeah heres more. he’s still part dave and shares the same history with john and jade that alpha timeline dave does. john gave him his shades on his 13th birthday in december 2008, he sent john the con air bunny and jade a physical copy of sbahj as furries in the mail. he is identical to alpha dave in relation to his friends before the timeline splits off. dont forget that 4/13/2009 was also his first time meeting his online friends john and jade in person, even after 4 months chronologically of sburb grinding—nearly a year with all the time shenanigans—and going back to day 1, since john and jade were dead in his timeline

tries not to cry cries anyway but only when he knows theyre asleep. pov when the weight of everything suddenly hits you (you are an emotionally repressed 14 year old)

also because he’s fucking fluffy and absolutely knows it and probably thinks to himself “yeah this is the best possible use for these otherwise pointless breast feathers” and yall already know he craves cloth mother plus probably has nesting instincts

(source)

adding on to that also i think people forget sprites are actually fucking LONG and his wingspan is fucking huge he could be a pillow and a blanket at the same time

i wrote davesprite jade cuddles and john thinking about mushrooms and davesprite thinking about how they contribute to the ecnonony

^ john toked too hard on the lowas mushrooms by accident one time

it feels like pajama parties would be a common occurence just the vibes im getting. literally jade is seen sitting on a pile of squiddles and theres plushies fucking everywhere you know they got up to plushie mayhem. do you think they ever alchemized them. look how lived in that room is they all contributed something

jade resumes gardening :) but theres no sun :( but she alchemizes some plastic plants :D but its not the same :(

canonically the imps in johns house just gave up tormenting him and started hanging out and having snacks on movie night

PENIS!

imagine looking up into the sky and seeing a giant casey the size of a planet sleep. jade resizes stuff for fun like this just to introduce some novelty to their lives

this is something

davesprite has beavis and butthead do america (1996) in his collection somewhere in his apartment on lohac

yall theyre watching johns fuckin spongebob dvd box collection. you KNOW john owns the spongebob squarepants movie (2004). and the best thing is it brings all of them together without any of them objecting. they all love spongebob

when the episode jellyfish jam comes on johns like “wow, pretty much this exact scenario happened to me with the imps.” (arthur flashback sfx)

DAVESPRITE: yeah well you didnt have a giant sound system did you

jade warps dave’s bro’s sound system from lohac and sizes it up. they put on stadium rave and the entire fucking house shakes

[libbys-braincell-loss]

i became inspired so heres a silly oneshot smg34 fic that also includes mario and meggy

---

This fic includes:

snowtrapped reference. Sorry yall </3

shitty grammar whenever mario speaks

---

SMG43 crush frustrations, a 2 1/2 part oneshot

---

Segment 1: SMG4 and Mario

---

SMG4 sits at his desk, making videos, as per usual. Working hard to appease the hell that is the YouTube algorithm, all that good stuff.

SMG4 is just focused on working on making a decent video, trying his hardest to work in peace.

Suddenly, the door breaks down for the 17th time this week (it's tuesday), and SMG4's idiot best friend Mario bursts in to disturb said peace.

"ES EM GEE FOUR" he yells, startling his friend.

SMG4 sighs. "Hey, Mario, what do you need?"

"I just wanted to see what you were doing :))" Mario replies.

"I'm just making videos, that's all," SMG4 says, attempting to regain focus on making the video. "I gotta finish as much as I can before I have to hang out with SMG3 later today"

"Ooooo, watcha gonna be doin?"

"3's just gonna be streaming the two of us messing around on Gmod. I think he wants to play prop hunt?"

"Mario played that one time with him. He's too good at it," Mario recalls.

"Heh, as if. He only won cuz he was against you," SMG4 exclaims. "He won't stand a chance going against me."

Mario peeks over the chair and observes SMG4 making his video.

"Can Mario help???" Mario asks.

"Hahaha, no," said SMG4. "You don't know shit about editing."

"Lol ur right, im just bored af and wanted to do something" Mario says, eyes crossing. "What video you makin"

"I'm remastering an old video called 'Charming Peach'; people seem to like when I make remasters of old videos," SMG4 responds.

"Oooooooooo" says Mario. "Can I suggest a video idea?"

"Y'know what, sure. Go ahead."

"Snowtrapped remaster :))))"

SMG4's eyes widen. He turns and looks at Mario in the crossed eyes and humongous mustache.

"Hell no!"

"Hell yeah :)"

"Why would you suggest that?! I'm not doing that!"

"Why not?"

SMG4 blinks. "Why do you think?"

Mario shrugs. "Because it's too cold?"

SMG4 face palms. "I forgot; you don't think."

"Awww :(" Mario frowns. "Thats mean :(("

"Dude, SMG3 and I literally have sex in that episode."

"And?"

SMG4 blinks.

Mario blinks in return.

"AND WE WOULD RATHER DIE THAN REMAKE THAT? What do you want me to say?" SMG4 exclaims.

"You didn't enjoy it?" Mario asks.

SMG4's face turns bright red. "MARIO!! Why the hell would you ask that?!"

Mario blinks. He grins. "You're avoiding the question"

"I'm not answering the question. I'm not remaking Snowtrapped, period. SMG3 and I could never relive those events again."

Mario blinks one eye after the other, like a frog.

"Do you like him?" Mario asks out of the blue.

"Huh??" SMG4 says, red creeping on his face.

"Do you like SMG3?" Mario asks.

"I mean, yeah... as a... friend, of course."

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." Mario's eyes narrow, and his head widens as he stares directly into SMG4's soul. "Mario doesn't buy it."

"What? What do you mean?!"

"I think you are gay :)"

"No. Also can you stop talking in emoticons?" SMG4 sighs.

"Come on!! I'm pretty sure you like him in a gay way"

"Why do you have to say it like that?"

"huh"

"...Nevermind. No, I don't like him like that." SMG4 chuckles, like he's trying to gaslight himself into believing the words he says. "Why would I? He berates me every day, I can't stand him sometimes... Why would I be in love with someone who constantly tries to do some bullshit to piss me off?"

"But when you do get along, what then?"

SMG4 opens his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"I just... I..."

Mario smiles really wide. "Youuuu liiikkkeee himmmm!"

"Mario, quit it!"

"Youuu dooooo :)"

"MARIO!"

"Youuuu likeee yourr rivaaaaalll :)))))"

SMG4 sighs, tired of trying to convince Mario otherwise. "Fine, you caught me. Yes, I may or may not have developed a crush on SMG3..."

Mario gasps with the utmost glee in his eyes.

"I KNEW IT!"

"Yeah, but you BETTER NOT TELL A SOUL!!" SMG4 puts a firm hand on Mario's shoulder and points at him aggressively.

Mario frowns. "you're no fun"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I just don't want word to spread and for SMG3 to find out. Then he will really hate me, and not in the joking way he usually does."

"You think he hates you?" Mario tilts his head

"...Not really, but..."

"Then tell him!" Mario says.

"Haha, hell no. He is my rival, and even though we're able to... tolerate... each other for enough time, but SMG3 is very keen to remind me that we are 'rivals', and refuses to admit that we are friends, no matter how much we get close to admitting we are friends."

SMG4 looks down. "I do really like him, I just... I have no way of knowing if he does like me at all, and if he is being serious when he shit talks me. Maybe he thinks and talks about how stupid I am when I'm not hanging out with him. He probably hates me, with how much he berates me. Why would I want someone who hates me?"

Mario blinks. "You are dumping all this info on someone who has zero advice for you" he says.

SMG4 smiles sadly. "My bad. I just... it's been eating me up inside, I just wanted to vent about it."

"Its ok :) mario can try to give advice if you want!" Mario says.

SMG4 sighs. "Go ahead."

"Mario thinks that if SMG3 hated you so much, he wouldn't go out of his way to be around you"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"He frequently shows up to hang out with you, he saves you, he talks about you a lot..."

"Wait, he does?"

"Yeah! I was waiting to get a bomb at his coffee shop and he was in a corner writing in his journal again, and he was saying everything he was writing out loud; he was saying 'I'm excited to hang out with smg4 tomorrow, we gonna play some gmod together and im totally gonna beat his ass at prop hunt, hes gonna be so mad itll be so funny, seeing his face so angry is so entertaining-' and then he stopped writing cuz he saw me waiting for my bomb order and he shoo'd me out of there and i didn't get my bomb"

SMG4 blushes. "Huh. So, he does shit talk me outside of my earshot, but in a positive way..." He smiles ear to ear. "Mario, honestly, I cannot believe I'm saying this, but your advice actually helped. I think my intrusive thoughts were just trying to lie to me. I needed to hear that."

"Yay! Mario's glad he could help :)" Mario says, smiling. "This is my character development! I am therapist :)"

SMG4 chuckles. "Mario, I would not trust you as a therapist 100% of the time."

Mario smirks. "But you can trust SMG3 as your therapist-"

SMG4 punches Mario's arm "Shush. This stays between us, okay?"

"yeah B) i gotchu"

"Thanks, man."

---

Segment 2: SMG3 and Meggy

---

Meggy steps into SMG3's coffee shop, 3's Coffee and Bombs. The cafe was very empty, there was little to no people there.

"Hello? SMG3?" she calls out.

SMG3 pops out from the kitchen.

"Ah, Meggy! Welcome to 3's Coffee and Bomb's!" SMG3 exclaims with a grand flourish. "How may I serve you?"

"Hey dude, I came here two days ago," Meggy says, deadpan. "You don't need to make a grand spectacle everytime I show up."

"Yeah, yeah. What'll it be? Coffee or bombs?"

"I'd like some coffee today. I think I'm gonna go for some black coffee today."

"Daring today, aren't we?" SMG3 says, in a sarcastic tone.

"Look, I'm trying to expand my horizons. Try new things. Every time I drink coffee, it's sweet as hell. I'mma take something bitter for once."

"If you say so," SMG3 says.

SMG3 makes Meggy her coffee and Meggy gives him his money. SMG3's watch beeps.

"Oh! Looks like it's break time!" he says.

"Nice! Care to join me?" Meggy suggests.

"Sure, why not," SMG3 says, shrugging. He makes himself some coffee of his own and sits at a table across from Meggy.

"I heard you have plans on doing a stream collab with SMG4 today," Meggy comments. "You guys are playing Gmod, right?"

"Yeah!" SMG3 sips his coffee. "I'm gonna kick his ass in prop hunt. He will be so pissed."

"Haha, I see," Meggy says, taking a sip of her coffee. She spits it back into the cup.

"Rude," SMG3 frowns.

"It's not that you're bad at making coffee, it's that black coffee isn't the right coffee for me," Meggy responds, also frowninh. "Don't take so much offense to everything."

"Welp." SMG3 leans back in his chair. "I'm excited. I can't wait to absolutely destroy his ass in games I'm goated at."

"Aren't you just happy you get to hang out with 4?" Meggy remarks.

"...Hanging out with him to make him look like a loser on stream, yes!" SMG3 responds.

Meggy smirks. "I think you do enjoy his company."

SMG3 studies a speck on the ceiling. "Says who?"

"Says me. I know you like him."

SMG3's face immediately turns bright red.

"NUH UH!" SMG3 exclaims. "He's stupid and a moron and a loser! W-why would I be attracted to a- a loser like him?!"

Meggy looks him dead in the eye. "I was gonna say opposites attract, but you guys are both oblivious AND obvious dumbasses, so you guys have more in common than you like to admit."

SMG3 looks away. "I don't like him. He probably hates me, with how much I berate him. Why would I want someone who hates me?"

Meggy smiles.

"3, I think 4 is just as in love with you as you are with him."

"What makes you think I like him?" quizzes SMG3.

"Oh, you constantly talk about how excited you are to do anything with him, you pout when he's not around, and you're usually the first person to try to instigate helping him as soon as he's in trouble," Meggy recounts.

SMG3 blushes. "We're Meme Guardians; if one of us isn't around, our powers are very minimal. I'm just looking out for him because I don't know what happens to one Meme Guardian the moment his counterpart is dead, and I don't want to find out."

"Awww, you care about him!" Meggy smiles.

"Just talk to him, dumbass," Meggy said. "He usually functions better once people communicate their issues with him. If you ask if you take things too far, and if he feels hurt by your words, talking it out is the right thing."

"Shush. So what if I do? He would never like me back. He probably can't stand me. I berate and belittle him too much. I know, I know, it's bad, but... I don't know how to communicate appreciation to people I care about. Teasing is all I know, but I never know if I've pushed it's limit-"

"But that's so difficult! I'm no good at communication!" SMG3 complains.

"You're a therapist! This is the type of advice you give your patients!" Meggy responds.

"I'm a hypocrite!" SMG3 wails.

"Look, just talk to him at some point. Maybe after the stream is over, just take some time out of your day to figure out how SMG4 feels about your constant teasing, then go from there."

"Yeah. Y'know what, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks Meggy."

"No problem! And, while you're at it, you should totally go for it!" Meggy exclaims, beaming.

"Meggy..." SMG3 sighs.

"I know you like him, you can't keep hiding."

SMG3 groans even louder.

"Yes, but you tell no one, okay?" SMG3 orders.

"Of course," Meggy says, smiling.

---

SMG4 and SMG3 are up in SMG4's office, playing and streaming Gmod shenanigans. Mario is sitting on the couch in the gaming room, watching TV. Meggy comes in and joins Mario on the couch.

"SMG4 and SMG3 can't be any more obvious, can they?" she remarks.

"they gay as hell," Mario agrees.

"3 confirmed he does like 4," Meggy says.

Mario laughs maliciously.

"What?" asks Meggy.

"mario also got SMG4 to confirm he likes 3 >:)," Mario says.

"Ha," Meggy says, "Cool. Do you think they'll ever actually get together?"

"hmmmmmm, Maybe!" Mario answers. "But if they don't, it's incredibly funny to watch their gay struggling, so we can keep watching it for a while"

"I like your thinking, Red," Meggy smirks. "Let's just let them be for the time being."

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

avery as a boy mom head canons

@smalina requested this in the comment section under one of my posts so here it is! i literally had to remake this post bc it glitched just like my averyjameson one and i had to type everything again (cause i write everything directly on tumblr and not on google docs so i didn't have another copy of my work). not proof read bc im done with this. hope you like it!

she'd send toby postcards with updates on her son (or kids in general) like her mom used to do with him.

the pregnancy would be really hard on her. morning sickness, unbearable back pain, braxton hicks contractions (or however that's spelled)

he used to love picking flowers for her. he found out her favorites were orchids (also her moms) and started planting them in their garden. he surprised her with them one day and she literally cried

he always kisses her cheek before he heads to school bc, according to him, it'll be a bad day if he doesn't.

loves asking for fashion advice from her bc over the years, she's learned a lot.

they have a cookbook together with all of their favorite recipes.

she makes sure to include him in all of the family's decision making. like at some point, they were looking for a condo to sometimes live in when they wanted to escape hawthorne house, and they made him choose his favorite so that he knew his opinion was important to them.

he learned how to play chess at six like his mom.

they go on missions stealing pens from grayson's pencil collection together.

i head canon that he learned how to paint (thanks to grayson) and sometimes paints these beautiful landscapes for her to hang in their house.

she's literally his #1 biggest supporter. he'd learn all of his colors and she'll swing him around kissing his cheek. it makes him feel loved

speaking of her being supportive, he loves hearing her approval so much that when he learns something new, he'll hop on her bed at night and tell her all about it bc he loves hearing her congratulate him.

she pinches his nose when he isn't listening or gets distracted (really lightly but still)

he does his hmk with her a lot bc it helps him concentrate. they'll talk about each other's days and stuff and it makes him feel loved.

he used to make homemade cards and write messages in them for avery. he'd look up youtube videos to make them look special and stuff.

he once convinced her to get him a shirt that says 'i have the best mom ever' written on it.

he loves playing with barbie dolls with her. he especially likes going out to buy new ones with her bc they have a lot of fun judging and rating them

he used to do chores a lot to earn money (which he obviously doesn't have to do cause they have a lot of it but he likes feeling like he earned it) and he'd use that money to buy avery flowers or sweaters

she sometimes gets sad bc he asks her about his grandmother and she never knows what to respond.

he loves braiding her hair (just like i hc jamie does). he loves playing with hair in general (grayson's especially). he likes burying his nose in it and stuff.

she's super protective (but not in a toxic way). he once got punished at school for defending a kid getting bullied. she said such draw dropping things to the principal he revoked the punishment and made him class president (moral of the story, don't mess with avery)

she usually knows when jamie and him are pranking her, but she knows it means a lot to her son so she acts surprised.

they love looking at picture books together of jamie and her on trips when they were younger. he asks tons of questions and it makes him feel like he knew them when they were younger (they sit on the floor with tons of pictures around them laughing)

avery made him this board he can hang stuff on so that, whenever they go on trips and he gets a new souvenir (keychain or charm), he can hang it up there. he wants to travel the world when he's older.

when they go on trips together, avery puts him on her shoulders so that he can see everything. he's really curious and hates feeling excluded.

he loves reading and talking to avery about all of his favorite books. he's super into thrillers and murder mysteries.

she loves buying him sweaters because she finds them super cute on him and he loves them too cause they’re soft. she tends to buy them in green so that it matches his eyes (he has jamie’s eyes)

when he was really young (like newborn), she used to love playing with his hair. he didn’t have much of it, but what he did have was really soft and she found playing with it to be comforting

when he’d have nightmares, she’d cradle him in her arms and sing him to sleep. he found her voice super comforting and thought it chased away the ‘bad guys trying to scare him’

avery always had to change his clothes when he was younger. he used to undress himself and walk around naked all of the time forcing avery to put his clothes back on or he’d be spilling stuff on his shirt which avery would then have to replace.

[sephirthoughts]

1. and 4. for Sephiroth? Perhaps? I wanna see you talk about him more

I LOVE LITERALLY ANY EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT HIM 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

1. Canon I outright reject

Hojo is Sephiroth's biological father.

I know it's canon, so far as we know, and has been officially stated many times. I don't argue with that, whatsoever. I simply reject it. From pure delusion is why this is my imagination-land in here and no one can stop me.

Also this is not official canon, but it seems to be dudebro canon, from what I have read on that apocalyptic shitshow reddit, that Sephiroth was 'born already evil' or 'always meant to be a villain' because fuck you. That's flat-out refusal to look directly at the piece of media you are engaging with and comprehend the story it is telling. You don't even need to play First Soldier to know he wasn't even a tiny little bit evil until Jenova mindfucked him into a sexy evil puppet (the sheer irony of him calling Cloud a puppet is so delicious BTW). His story is an epic tragedy, with pain and regret and near-misses and infinite nuance, not a saturday morning cartoon. Admit you hate him because he's better than you and heavily queer-coded and shut the fuck up. Ahem.

4. Favorite line

Literally every single obsessive ex-boyfriend thing he says to Cloud in Remake. I love every one of those lines the absolute most because they are SO gay and SO drama and SO Sephiroth.

My favorite single line of Sephiroth's (at the moment) is: "Depending on what happens, I may abandon Shinra." Spoken to Zack in Crisis Core.

It seems like a little throaway line, but there is so much loaded into those few words, I'd need a dissertation to cover it all. The major points:

It subtly demonstrates his vulnerability and the level of trust he already places in Zack, to say those words openly to him, in that moment.

It shows his bone-deep (and possibly unconscious) loathing for Shinra, finally surfacing just a tiny bit.

It shows his heartbreaking delusion, thinking that he will ever be allowed to just walk away from the nightmare hell he lives in. It's all so painfully, beautifully, madly tragic I literally can't get enough.

Thank you so much for the ask these are so fun!!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[who-do-i-know-this-man]

Remaking the FAQ. If you have a question please read these before sending asks. If you don't I have free reign to clown on you.

Q: Will you separate the both/neither button into 2 different options?

A: Never. Unless the tiltify in my linked post tells me to. I think I'll go with whatever it says at the end of round 1.

Q: [some sarcastic comment trying to clown on the previous genre of ask]

A: Cut it out that's my job. Also literally whatever bit you have has 100% been done before. And if you love the both/neither button as is donate to the tiltify to save it's life.

Q: How do we submit characters?

A: You can't. You have missed 3 whole seasons of submissions. If you really wanna have your guy be in one of these run your own blog, you have full permission to do the exact same concept as me. @ me in it and I'll reblog it even.

Q: How do we submit images for character that need them?

A: Comment directly on the google sheet, or send me an ask with the image link. Do not attach the image to your ask I can't use it like that.

Q: How do we submit propaganda?

A: askbox. But be aware that (except for very specific circumstances) I only accept propaganda for character/sources that are in this tournament.

Q: Why do people call it anti-propaganda? And why does your tag for it have a question mark?

A: In this tournament sending propaganda for a character while they are still competing makes them less likely to win. So people started calling it anti-propaganda. (There were originally like 3 names for different kinds of propaganda but I don't think anyone else cared to distinguish them)

Q: When are you streaming next

A: I dunno. I'll try to when I can, and you'll hear about it at least a few days in advance but for now I'm not sure.

Q: When are you bringing back fruit reviews?

Q: I misclicked on a poll and voted wrong :(

A: Lol. Fucking loser.

A Ugli fruit is great.

[luckystarchild]

STOP SHARING THIS TWEET.

This is 99.99% likely to be fake. As someone who works in the anime industry, let me tell you why.

This has been sent to me dozens of times over the past few days, and it's pretty obvious to me that it's fake.

I work in the anime industry. Here's why I don't put any stock in this "official" announcement at all.

1. THE 'SOURCE' IS A TOTAL RANDO

The source is a random Twitter/X account. It isn't a studio or licensor. It's not even one of the "reputable" leakers. It's just some random person making a claim with zero backing and slapping the words "official" and "confirmed" on it.

Accurate leaks have happened, but they're usually accompanied by some kind of source claim (a leaked press release, a leak within the company, etc.) and a claim that an announcement is coming soon. This has nothing. This is just a random person saying shit for clicks.

Every one of their posts has "FOLLOW FORE MORE" in a subtweet. They're just farming for followers. The rest of the account is just random anime edits and posts + promotions for a discord they run.

I could literally write anything in a tweet and slap "OFFICIAL, CONFIRMED" on it, but if you see those words, you need to be asking, "Who confirmed it? What makes this official?" And in this case, it's NOTHING and NOBODY in the world of anime.

Media literacy, folks. It applies to Twitter/X. It ESPECIALLY applies to Twitter/X.

2. THIS 'SOURCE' DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE ANIME INDUSTRY

"Studio has not been announced" is a WILD thing to suggest here, because YYH's rights are LITERALLY OWNED BY AN ANIME STUDIO. Studio Pierrot is still a license-holder for this IP, and it would be weird as hell for them to not handle a remake.

(Also, "studio not announced"... NOTHING has been announced. The wording here is very sneaky, as it implies an announcement was made but the studio was just left out of it. If an announcement had been made, it would be Pierrot/the studio/Shueisha doing it.)

Not only has Pierrot made animated content for the series as recently as the 2018 OVAs, their copyright info is on literally every piece of YYH merch being produced this year (alongside Shueisha and Togashi). They still have some rights. They (in part) hold the IP. They still make art for it. They will be the studio for any remake unless they willingly let go of that license. Considering they're still making money off of it through merch sales and the liveaction adaptation (tho that's another can of licensing worms we could discuss), that's highly, HIGHLY unlikely.

The likelihood of Pierrot letting some other studio handle the remake is very, VERY slim. It's one of their hallmark, legendary series. Why would they ever let that go to a competitor?

The "studio hasn't been confirmed" bit tells me this person doesn't know who actually owns the rights to YYH, and when they don't even know that basic piece of information, it puts everything else they say into question.

3. THE TIMING IS SUSPICIOUS

Anime series are in production long before they air. How long in advance depends on the project. You can't keep a lid on a high profile project for an extended period. For big projects, studios want to start the hype train sooner rather than later. (Obviously there are exceptions to this (see the Fruits Basket remake) but we'll get to that later.)

This tweet claims the project is coming out in 2024. We are at the VERY TAIL END of 2023. It is basically 2024 already. That tweet isn't an official announcement (despite the word "official" on it), which means the studio/license holder would have to announce it even LATER than this tweet did. The latest anime seasonals begin airing in Q4/October/the Fall Simulcast season. That gives Pierrot less than a year of lead-up time to market the anime before its latest possible air date in 2024, and for this particular property, that does not seem realistic OR wise.

Let's examine Pierrot's recent treatment of the latest Bleach installment as evidence. They announced the project in March 2020 via a livestream event. They began airing the project in October 2022, MORE THAN TWO YEARS LATER. That gave them two years to market the series.

YYH, like Bleach, is one of Pierrot's hallmarks. The idea that they'd give it less than a year of marketing is just not realistic. They'd likely give it the same kind of treatment as the new Bleach arc, given it's one of their past tentpole titles getting revived.

(Also note that Pierrot animated the new Bleach installments after years of no new Bleach. They didn't let go of those rights. They held on and made more content later. Now apply that logic to YYH, and arrive again at: To suggest another studio would handle a new series is farfetched.)

If the tweet had said the series was dropping in 2025 or later, it would be much more believable. But the details they gave, again, discredit their claims from the jump.

If a new YYH was coming out in 2024, btw, the series would already be well underway and likely have been in production behind the scenes for quite some time. They probably would've announced it last year if they intended a 2024 release.

4. THE LIVEACTION OF IT ALL

A liveaction adaptation for YYH is about to drop (December 14 on Netflix).

I can already hear the argument of, "Oh, well maybe they'll announce a new anime for 2024 when the liveaction comes out," and while that might be a possibility, I think there's another, far more likely alternative.

If the liveaction does well and the license holders make a fuckton of money on it, or if they at least see a large resurgence in interest in the IP, THEN I think the license holders/anime production committee would start thinking about a new anime adaptation to cash in on that interest. But I do not see them making that decision before the streaming numbers for the liveaction come in, and I do NOT see them working on the anime before the liveaction has even aired.

The anime world moves slowly. The execs and committees behind the scenes like numbers and sales figures. If they see good numbers, balls might start rolling. But it's unlikely they're already in production NOW, let alone far enough into production to support a 2024 release for a remake.

If the Netflix show gets the ball rolling on a new YYH anime, that anime won't come out in 2024. There just isn't time.

And I can now hear some muttering the argument of, "Oh, well they probably just held the news to time it with the liveaction," but see again their habit of announcing projects with lots of lead-up marketing time.

CONCLUSION: THIS SEEMS FAKE.

BUT...

Given the details above and the COMPLETE LACK OF EVIDENCE supplied by the tweet, I do not expect we'll get an ACTUAL "official, confirmed" announcement for a remake anytime soon.

In the event that I'm wrong, what I'd predict is the announcement of a remake (one made by ACTUAL official sources, AKA Pierrot and Shuiesha) sometime in Q1 or Q2 2024. Pierrot would be the studio, and the project would be slated for late 2025, or even more likely, sometime in 2026. (And yes, projects slated for 2026 and later are in the works right now.)

I think the above is a longshot, but it's possible. The timing suggested in the tweet everyone is sharing isn't realistic at all, however.

Long story short:

DO NOT TRUST RANDOM TWITTER ACCOUNTS.

ANYONE CAN SAY "OFFICIAL" or "CONFIRMED"

THE ONLY OFFICIAL SOURCES FOR ANIME NEWS ARE STUDIOS AND LICENSORS

QUESTION EVERYTHING

[sapphire-weapon]

Resident Evil 4 Remake's story is structured like the plot of a romance novel: master post

A few months ago, I wrote up a very quick and dirty outline/explanation of how Resident Evil 4 Remake's story had been restructured from the original game to follow the story beats of a romance novel. At the time, I didn't think it was all that important to explain it super in-depth, but now that more and more people are looking at it, I figured I should probably explain what I mean with each of these beats lmao

1) Call to Adventure / The Meet Cute

All that a meet-cute actually is is the scene in which the characters that the romance is centered around meet for the first time. The intention is to show an initial spark between the characters -- they meet under bizarre/unexpected circumstances and, at some point, both characters become aware of just how significant it is, even if neither says anything about it.

Leon and Ashley's meet-cute starts with her swinging a candelabra at his head and ends with Leon holding her in his arms out in the rain for a period of time that is absolutely too long to be normal for the circumstance. They lock eyes in this moment, and it's meant to be seen as Significant.

2) Refusal of the Call / Rejection of the Relationship

This is the "I'm just imagining things" reaction to the significance of the meet-cute. Both characters treat the spark as though it never happened -- and, usually, it's because there's other external factors influencing their ability or willingness to follow the trail of that spark and see where it goes. Instead of going "Hey, you're cute, can I get your number?" both characters just jump straight to "Well, anyway --" and go back to living their own independent lives apart from each other.

After they both snap out of that weird trance they were in after Leon caught Ashley out the window of the church, he goes right back to treating her like a mission objective, and she just has absolutely no idea what to make of him at all. Ashley spends the next few sections of gameplay in shock and disbelief with lines like "Seriously, this cannot be happening." and "I just wanna go home..." Leon ignores all of her complaints, keeps her moving even when she asks for a break, and doesn't really speak much to her at all other than to bark orders at her.

3) Acceptance of the Quest / Giving the relationship a chance

Something Happens that forces both characters back into each other's lives and/or personal attention, and they both find that they do Like each other, actually -- even if that feeling of "like" isn't anything super significant. It could be something as simple as realizing that they enjoy the other's company and wanting to see/talk to the other more often.

This arguably starts when Leon and Ashley first run into the cabin and Leon puts a comforting hand on her back that he absolutely did did not have to put there -- but it's definitely in full swing after the cabin sequence is over. Personally, I would say that it's the revelation about Ashley having a plaga in her that's the Something that Happens between them. The whole mission starts to become a whole lot more personal, because now it's not just about surviving and escaping -- now it's about making sure that Ashley stays Ashley.

She starts to open up to him more, and he suddenly becomes much warmer towards her, as well. He's quick to reassure her ("I won't let that happen. I promise.") and not only responds to her when she talks, but also begins talking to her unprompted as well.

This is also the first time Leon ever tries hitting on Ashley with the "Seems this isn't your first time running from creeps" line, and it fails spectacularly.

4) Trials and Temptations / Three Dates

This one is probably the one that needed the most explaining LMAO I shouldn't have let this one go. The "three dates" don't have to/usually aren't meant to be actual, literal dates in romance novels. They're just three significant events that happen between the couple that builds and then reinforces their bond. (It also doesn't necessarily have to be three -- some stories only do two, some do five, etc. The point is that Things Are Happening that strengthen the relationship.)

That is why I said that their three "dates" are:

1) Ashley busting the window open after the Mendez boss fight, helping brush the embers off of Leon, and helping to pull him to his feet. This is the first time the two of them actually smile at each other and the first time they start to act as a team.

2) Salazar's introduction ("The girl's just fine. With me."). Leon wants so badly to be that cool guy in an 80s movie who shows up out of nowhere and puts his arm around a beautiful girl and looks at some dickhead harassing her and goes "This guy giving you a hard time, babe?" This is the closest he's ever gotten to and will ever get to being that in his life. He's not cool enough to ever actually be that guy for real.

3) The road to the Water Hall (Leon jumping across the chandeliers + this is the first time the "knight and the princess" allegory is stated) (You could also include the Garrador here, because if you take Ashley down there after the fact, there's special dialogue that happens that's... God, Leon sucks at this whole flirting thing. He just sucks, dude.)

5) Midpoint Crisis / I-need-you-but-can’t-have-you

Everything is going so well... until it isn't anymore. The three dates have given the couple a glimpse of how special and important this relationship could be, which is great -- until it becomes a problem. One of the characters gets freaked out by the intensity of the relationship and pulls back out of fear, because there's something else happening in their life that's bigger than either character and more important to be addressed.

In Leon and Ashley's case, it's Ashley's plaga. Saddler takes control of her briefly and gets a hold of Leon's knife, stabs him, and then threatens to cut her own throat. When his hold over her breaks, she's terrified. She needs Leon now more than ever because of this, but she's more afraid of hurting him than losing herself, so she runs away from him in tears.

6) The Road Back / Pulling Back Together

Basically, the plot forces the couple back together, and -- due to the raw, open vulnerability caused by the Midpoint Crisis -- their bond is stronger than ever. The feelings change from "yeah, I like them" to "I want them." Real intimacy starts to form and build here, because the interest in and attraction to each other is allowed by both characters to be acknowledged. This is usually where the sexual tension starts to really kick into high gear, and the audience is just waiting for that moment when it all breaks open.

This starts with the pep talk that Leon gives Ashley when he finds her again -- which is romantically framed and coded with its imagery and cinematography. It continues through the entire Grand Hall segment, which includes the moment in the game in which Leon is at his boldest in terms of expressing his attraction to her. This is the point in the game in which their relationship is at its most playful. They tease each other and flirt and pass compliments back and forth -- and, for a while, it feels like the two of them are unstoppable and able to take on the world together.

7) The Fall

"The fall" is the shortened version of "The moment they actually fall in love." It's the "oh god, I think I love them" moment. The two characters do not necessarily have to admit to each other that they've experienced "the fall" -- and usually, at least one of them doesn't. But they both experience that moment where it hits them.

We see Ashley "fall" at the start of her gameplay segment, where she takes Leon's earlier words to heart and draws strength from them. ("I won't run. Wait for me, Leon.") He's inspired her to strive to be more than she is, and she embraces the way that he makes her feel, in that moment.

We see Leon "fall" as soon as he catches the key that she tosses down to him. He looks up at her with stars in his eyes and offers to catch her if she jumps down. An interesting detail to note is that this is the first and one of the only times in RE4make that Nick Apostolides reverts to using the tone/voice that he used for Leon in RE2make. It's soft and sweet and gentle as he makes her an offer that has no reason to be made, just for the sake of getting to hold her in his arms again.

And, in order to drive home the point, this all happens during a scene that was framed, shot, and directed to mirror/mimic the balcony scene in Romeo & Juliet.

8) Dark moment / The Break Up

Once again, Something Happens and comes between them -- and this one is way, way worse than the Midpoint Crisis. This isn't "I'm scared to be with you" -- it's "I can't be with you." Hope for the relationship is completely lost, and both characters become overwhelmed in their individual despair.

Verdugo breaks them up physically -- not once, but twice. And that second time involves Leon being forced to watch Ashley endure Salazar's weird "ritual" and be unable to stop it or do anything to help her. He just has to sit with that failure and suffer through it until he's literally thrown away and discarded while Ashley screams his name.

When Leon finally finds Ashley again, we see him confront the one moment in the game when he honestly, truly loses hope. He sits down on the floor at Ashley's bedside, and there's nothing more that he can do than wait for her to wake up. Some part of him has already become convinced that they won't make it out of there alive -- not both of them, at least. Not together. And he's ready to commit suicide as a contingency plan.

9) The Sacrifice

This is the "do or die" moment for the relationship in a romance novel. This is the moment where the decision is made to confront not just the external force keeping them apart, but also the internal flaws that are feeding into that avoidant urge. The couple decides that their desire to be together is stronger and more important than whatever fear or force is holding them back, and though it's terrifying to do it, they stand up for the relationship in the face of opposition.

In RE4make, we see this play out through the sequence in which Leon carries Ashley to Luis's lab and how the two of them, against all physical and mental odds, manage to remove each other's plagas. This is especially emotionally significant for Leon, who says the words out loud: "This time, it has to be different..." He's openly acknowledging that his trauma from Raccoon City is what made him so ready to pull the trigger on himself back in that holding cell. Here, now, he puts his foot down, confronts that trauma, and says "No. I have to beat this."

And he does, even at great physical cost to himself. But the sacrifice was worth it, because it was for her.

10) Declaration

In a very literal sense, it's the declaration of love. It's an outward, spoken confirmation of the bond they share, now that the trial from the Sacrifice has been overcome. Traditionally in romance novels, this happens with the actual words "I love you."

But RE4make isn't a traditional romance novel, and Capcom has an entire fanbase of angry nerds who take fictional relationships too seriously to navigate through. So, instead of an explicit "I love you" what we got instead was an explicit verbal confirmation of their bonded status as a team.

"Hey... We're a team, right?"

"Keep this up? I'll be out of a job."

11) The HEA

"HEA" stands for "Happily ever after."

While I could (and did) say that Leon and Ashley literally ride off into the sunrise together, that does feel disingenuous. Even though it's true and the imagery is there, they don't really have a happily ever after. Not really. This is the only part that's missing from RE4make.

And that's because RE4make isn't just a romance on its own -- it's a fairy tale set inside of a story that's self-aware and knows that fairy tales aren't real. And so both Leon and Ashley wake up from this shared dream of a romance they've been having, as reluctantly as they do, because it's time for them to come back to reality.

Fairy tales aren't real. Romance novels aren't real.

Their feelings are real. But life doesn't work that way. Not for them.

They may not have a happily ever after, but they do have this moment to be together -- and for them, it's enough.

Because it has to be.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Reborn & Remade

In which Cori hands you your husband, literally, because he, well, turned into a baby.

Dream of the Endless x Reader (& The Corinthian) | 1k+ | cw: gender neutral!reader, remade!corinthian, the dad that stepped up!corinthian, babie!dream, crackfic, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: ok #1 this is technically an x reader but is really not cos dream is a BABY, and #2 this is technically based off the comics... but is also not lol. dw if you didn't read them, it's fine, and if you plan to read the comics, no spoilers here (; I just love remade Corinthian a lot 😩 he is so special to me hes such a Great Pyrenees.

Tagging: @sloanexx @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda @aralezinspace @shadow-pancake9

I stretch my legs straight out on the bed. I adjust my laptop on my pillow then type away as I eat a chocolate éclair. I sigh and link my fingers together, stretching my arms up overhead. I yawn and check the time.

I go through my work, scrolling down the screen that was beginning to burn my tired eyes.

You know what would be great right now? A cuddle. Beds were meant for cuddles not this. Gosh, I wish someone would hold me right now.

I sigh through my nostrils and wrap an arm around myself as I examine the paragraph I had typed out.

I wonder what Dream is doing. I don't even remember the last time he's been here.

I flinch when I see a typo. I go back a sentence and realize I've zoned out on a whole paragraph. "Fuck," I scroll up the whole page.

I grab another éclair and raise a brow at my plate when I find there were none left, "what the fuck, I already ate 3?" I push my laptop away, "ain't no way."

I grab my empty plate and leave my laptop on the sheets. I head to the kitchen, dump my plate near the sink, then inspect my fridge. I pull out the box of eclairs and spot there were only 3 left, meaning I really did eat 3, "I don't even remember eating the third one."

I whip my head to the side when I hear a knock on the door. I stuff the box back in the fridge, "who is it?!"

"It's me!"

I make a face and walk to the front door, "that didn't help at all."

My expression tightens when the knocking gets louder and the words, "it's me!" are repeated.

Once I get to the door, I ask, "do you have a name, it's me?"

"That would be Corinthian, your grace."

My eyes widen. I immediately open the door.

Corinthian, with his tousled blonde hair and ear to ear grin, stretches his arms out and curtsies, "a pleasure to meet you, my liege."

"Meet me?" I raise my brows and give a confused but bemused smile.

"I've been remade," he straightens up.

I immediately make a face of realization.

"So, I don't really remember you," he tilts his head and shrugs.

"Then why did you reply to me like you did?" I furrow my brows.

"Well, I took a chance that you would remember me," he smirks, lowering his shades, "and you did."

I chuckle and shake my head.

Corinthian grins with the teeth in his eyes and fixes his shades, "my lord has sent me to retrieve something from you as he is currently remaking himself."

I perk up, "Dream?" I step forward and look past him, "where is he?"

"Why," Corinthian bends down and picks something up, "he's right here."

I pull my head back when I am faced with a blue eyed baby, nibbling on his fingers. I immediately think of how similar the gleam of this baby's eyes were to my husband's but overlook it as I watch the poor thing hang from his armpit. I find myself instinctively reaching out for the child with messy, dark hair, and saliva coated lips.

I think to reprimand Corinthian for leaving a baby on the floor but turn to see he actually had a baby carrier by his feet.

I cradle the baby in my arms as Corinthian grabs the said baby carrier, proceeding to then walk in. He surveys the area, "my lord is incredibly soft, so no sharp edges please."

I step back, trying to make sense of what he just said, as the tall and slender nightmare continues to look around before placing the baby carrier on the coffee table. He rubs the edge of the table, "this counts as a sharo edge."

I make a face.

He turns to me, "I'm meant to take a necklace that was gifted to you by your husband. Mind telling me where that thing would be?"

I adjust my hold on the baby and look down at him. The child draws his slobber-covered hand out of his lips and reaches out to my face. I grab his wrist before he could touch me, "uh," my lips curl in disgust, "I think it's in my bedroom, on my vanity table."

Corinthian nods. He walks off.

"That's my bathroom," I tilt my head the other way, "bedroom's over there."

The Corinthian immediately pivots.

I look down at the baby and his wet hand, "did Dream say why he wanted it?"

"Not really. But you could try asking him."

"But he's not even-" I cut myself off when I realize the Corinthian is no longer in the room.

I walk to the kitchen and decide to wash the child's hand. After doing so, I am struck with the realization I was suddenly playing mother to an unknown infant. I look at the boy's face and wipe the dribble off his chin with the collar of his multi-colored jumper.

"Cori," I call out, "whose baby is this?"

The baby blinks at me.

I set him down on the counter and fix the jumper on him. The baby smiles. I find myself giggling because of how darling he looked, "you're a cute one, aren't ya?"

"Mine?" the Corinthian reluctantly replies, "I don't understand the question."

I furrow my brows and turn to where the door of my bedroom was, "what do you mean you don't understand? Does this child have parents? Is he a dream?"

"Oh, he's Dream alright."

I turn to the baby, "aww, you're a cutie little dream? That means your papa is my husband and that would make me your--."

"Why do you have so much trash in your drawers?!" Corinthian calls out.

I make a face and snort, "sorry."

I walk into my bedroom with the little dream and push the nightmare away from the mess he just made messier. I hand him the baby and he immediately takes him into his arms.

"Did you try asking him?"

I rummage through my things, "what?"

"About the necklace," Corinthian clarifies.

In truth it clarifies nothing to me, which is why I shoot him a look, "ask who?"

"Dream," he bounces the baby in his arms, "I figured because you're married, he might actually respond to you."

"What do you mean?"

"He really is just a baby right now," Cori says as the baby laughs as he is bounced. The two laugh at each other for a good moment.

My face falls by the time they stops cause I finally realize what Cori means, "are you saying that's Dream?"

Corinthian turns to me as he releases his final chuckle, "you don't recognize him?"

I stop in my search to really look at the baby. The child sighs after calming down from his giggles and tiredly leans his head on Corinthian's chest, eyelids growing heavy.

"Dream?"

The baby perks. He silently looks back at me.

Corinthian looks down at his master.

I gasp, "what happened to him?!" I walk towards them.

"He's remaking himself... I think," the nightmare raises a brow, "or I guess reborn... -ing?"

"So I'm married to a baby?!" my jaw drops. The baby tiredly looks at me as I gently rub his soft cheek. He smiles softly at this. I wipe my face in frustration.

"Oh, don't worry," Corinthian smiles and leans Dream on his hip. The baby turns to Cori and reaches out for his face.

"He just-" Cori stops himself when tiny hands grab at his shades. The nightmare looks at the Dream, whose motor skills are horrible. He hands the child his shades, "-needs to get his things-"

Cori stops again when his shades fall to the floor. We all look at it. He secures Dream against him before he picks it up, "-then he'll be back to his old self--" he raises a brow, "or I guess that means his," he puts his shades back on, "new self."

I make a worried face and walk to my vanity, rummaging through my things again.

Corinthian turns to Dream. He cradles him into his arms, allowing the baby to nuzzle into his neck. Dream immediately yawns.

He watches the rummaging before him then announces, "I think our little lord needs a nap." He looks over his shoulder, "mind if I tuck him in your bed?"

"Yeah, yeah," I respond but spare him no glance, "be careful with my laptop though, okay?"

The Corinthian nods and heads to the bed.

He grabs the laptop and puts it on the bedside table. He then sits down and sets Dream in the middle of the bed. The small thing immediately rolls on his side and closes his eyes. The Corinthian sighs, "sorry, my lord. I didn't know you were that sleepy."

He fixes the corner of a pillow underneath his master's tiny head and then puts pillows on either side of his body, as to make sure he does not roll off. He tucks him in and brushes his hair out of his face. He thinks out loud, "honestly, it's never occurred to me that Dream sleeps."

"He doesn't," I retort.

Cori's brows furrow. He adjusts his glasses as he gazes upon the baby, "must be why he's so tired."

I finally stop my rummaging and turn around. I walk over to Corinthian, catching the way his lips curled downward. I find myself frowning as well. I place a hand on his shoulder, "hey."

Cori turns to me, face glum.

I raise an arm, "maybe this will cheer you up?"

He immediately stands when he sees the necklace dangling before him. He exclaims, "you found it!"

I let out a surprised giggle when he takes me into his arms and seals me into a tight hug. He groans with excitement, "thank you!"

"You don't need to thank me, Cori," I smile, "but you're welcome."

He pulls away and tilts his head, "Cori?"

"Ah," I gather the necklace in my palms, "that's what I call you."

He smirks, "I like it. Sounds dapper," he places his hands in his pocket and poses.

Before I could even laugh and tease him for it, I let out a shocked squeal when he chucks something across the room, causing a loud thud.

I whip my head back just as the Corinthian walks off in that direction.

"YOU THREW A KNIFE?!"

"I killed a cockroach."

"YOU KILLED A COCKROACH WITH A KNIFE?!"

"I was protecting our Lord," he rips the knife out of the wall then looks down at his split victim.

Upon remembering the sleeping baby, I look back at him in panic. He wasn't awake though; he didn't even move an inch after the loud bang. Dream lets out a soft sigh of sleepy contentment.

The Corinthian sweeps the broken insect away with his shoe. He makes a face as he examines my room, "you should really clean up. This is no place for a baby."

[antiendovents]

(same person who made the last ask, pls delete it cause I got some stuff wrong and don't want to spread misinfo, remaking it)

got inspired by the anon venting about sysboxes to make this

1 - am I the only one who thinks its weird that they made an exception for the pro endo mod just because they're friends?? especially since many of the mods have said they've been harrased by endos, yet they let a pro endo mod

2 - "The DNI of this blog still stands. I’m simply an exception due to being the type of person I am." ok so you don't actually have a dni

3 - no you're no anti endo if you let a pro endo mod. you're just traumagenic exclusive.

4 - I think I could write a whole essay on how much this thing they said annoys me: "look past a syscourse label and understand the desire to make the lives of CDD systems a little bit better surpasses petty online drama."

5 - petty online drama. wow. yeah lets support a group that has manipulated, lied to, and confused so many cdds but also say we want to make their lives better.

6 - they were like the biggest anti endo account. why are cdds never allowed spaces away from endos.

(obligatory they can do whatever they want with their blog, they don't need permission for anything, also harassment is stupid)

((we posted the other one before we got this, but it's deleted now, don't worry anon ^_^))

but yeah, we agree with you! We'll format our opinions in the same way you formatted yours!

1- it is weird in our opinion and reminds us very much of those kind of discord servers that for some reason let the staff break the rules without consequence yet blow up at the members of they do the same.

2- yeah, it doesn't really feel like a DNI, more or less just words slapped on there at this point.

3- same as above, it feels like their blog is basically just endo-neutral and traumagenic exclusive under the label of anti endo. If that makes sense. Like It feels less like they're anti endo now and more like a "oh, I say I don't support it, but if they're nice sure I'll let it slide" type thing.

4- we see people say that a lot and we can't stand it. No, we will not look past "syscourse labels" because we do not want to interact with or even be near anyone who supports endos, who have and still do spread harmful misinformation.

5- yeah, it's not "petty online drama", it's survivors of literal childhood trauma wanting a safe space where they can avoid people who mock their disorder + people who support those people who mock it (endos + pro endos)

6- mhm, they were and still are very big, and sure they still claim to be anti endo, but like— if someone claims to be anti trans-ID but then supports someone that is pro trans-ID and even lets them mod their anti trans-ID blog, then are they really anti trans-ID?

((and yeah, don't harass them. That's not cool))