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gay-otlc · 3 years

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Keepers of the Chaos (Chapter 2)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh's podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, food, L*ura

Word count: 2005

Notes: Check out the beautiful theme song here!

(Read on AO3)

Sophie rolls her eyes as she opens the link her girlfriend sent her and puts in her earbuds. Biana has been incessantly pestering her to watch Keepers of the Chaos for so long that Sophie half wants to watch it just to shut her up, but she's always tired, or busy, and she doesn't really like watching new things. Still, Biana asked her very nicely to listen to this one podcast, and she looked very pretty when she asked, so Sophie's dumb omni ass couldn't refuse.

"Welcome to the Twins of the Chaos podcast," it begins after loading for an obnoxiously long time. The girl speaking has a pretty voice, Sophie has to admit- sweet and melodic and vaguely amused.

Maybe listening to this podcast won't be so bad if she can listen to that girl's voice the whole time.

But another person speaks, adding "Where some chaotic twins discuss our favorite show, Keepers of the Chaos," and his voice is not as pretty. She continues listening anyway, since Biana may or may not murder her if she stops.

The two voices- whose names are Linh and Tam, apparently- start talking about Keepers of the Chaos some more, giving Sophie a summary she's heard tons of times from Biana and Fitz- though the twins explain it slightly more coherently and with less... whatever the verbal equivalent of keyboard smashing is. Biana usually starts rambling about her favorite characters, like Lynn- not "Lynn the fandom mom," but the other Lynn- and Avery, or sometimes Nora and Darwin. Sophie doesn't understand any of those names and loses track of the conversation as soon as it involves too many unfamiliar names.

But Tam and Linh are making more sense, at least for the most part, until they start mentioning specific couples. The conversation gets again comprehensive soon enough, though, and Sophie does smile at the name "The Dark Duck."

By the end, when Tam says "half of them wearing sleeping masks with teal eyes painted on and the other half watching the chaos with mild amusement," Sophie is curious enough to be mildly intrigued. She listens to their outro music, and before she can regret it, types out a text message to Biana.

Sophie: fine

Sophie: ill watch it

Biana responds instantly with an array of heart emojis. Sophie blushes.

Biana: can i come over and watch with u?

Sophie: ok!

Sophie: moms making mallowmelt

Sophie: but u cant have any

Biana: >:(

Biana: hope u like being single then

Sophie: fine u can have some mallowmelt

Biana: yayyyy!

Biana: ily

Sophie: ilyt

Sophie: now lets watch ur stupid show

Biana: on my way!!!

Sophie smiles, shaking her head. She's a little annoyed, but fine, it sounds interesting enough from the podcast. And what else would she be doing? Studying? Having US history as an alternative would make even the most horrible of shows seem good. She stuffs her textbooks into her backpack and shoves some things out of the way so her room looks a bit neater before rushing downstairs. The mallowmelt smells good enough to make her mouth water.

"Mmm..." she sighs, barely taking time to let it cool off before taking a large bite. "That's so good. Thanks, Mom."

Edaline smiles. "You're welcome. Just save some for your father and I."

"Fine, fine. I have to share with Biana, anyway." Sophie huffs and takes another bite. "She's coming over, is that alright? We're going to watch a show together."

"Sure, just make sure to get your homework done."

Sophie rolls her eyes. "Fine."

"And keep the door open!" Grady calls. Edaline laughs as Sophie's face flames.

"I'm going back to my room," she grumbles, taking a plate of mallowmelt with her and walking up the stairs. She manages not to trip over her own feet and drop the mallowmelt, thankfully, as she grabs her laptop and opens Netflix. Sighing, she searches for Keepers of the Chaos and clicks on the show that comes up before waiting for Biana to arrive.

The doorbell rings soon, and Sophie carefully sets down her laptop and her plate on her bed before rushing down the stairs. Panting slightly, she opens the door for her girlfriend. Biana's wearing a t-shirt with the Amsterdam flag on it. Sophie has no idea why. Maybe Biana likes the country? Her girlfriend is pretty weird. "Come on in," she says, realizing she's been staring. In her defense, Biana is pretty and Sophie is very omni.

"Ready to go watch Keepers of the Chaos?" Biana asks. She bounces on her toes slightly.

"Alright," says Sophie. "I set it up on my laptop in my room."

"Awesome! You'll love it."

Sophie follows Biana up the stairs and into her room. They sit on the bed together, Sophie leaning against the wall and Biana leaning against Sophie, and Biana presses play. Somber kazoos begin playing in the background as the theme song starts.

We're on the edge of chaos

No one is straight

We're making fanart

Because L*ura we hate

And we're gonna have teal eyes in the end!

We must be weird, and we must be gay

(We must be gay!)

We will find every bit of sanity that we have

And give it all to Lynn

Ohhhh

We must be gay!

Biana dances a little along with the song, and Sophie can't help but smile. A curvy, round-faced person with short dark hair and colorful earrings plays a few notes on the piano, and then a KEEPERS OF THE CHAOS logo flashes across the screen. Then, a group of students sit in a classroom.

"Shai! Tater! Lynn! You three finally got together?" says the same person who just played piano, gesturing to a redhaed wearing a Sappho lesbian flag cape. She's holding the fingerless-gloved hand of a lanky person with brightly colored hair, and they're holding hands with a tall girl who has chin length brown hair. The rest of the class applauds the fiancees before returning to their own conversations.

"Yep! Thanks, Ink," says Tater.

Ink smiles at them and turns to a person with light brown skin and golden hoop earrings partially covered by long dark hair. "Hi, Kiri, how was your break?"

"Good! Here's to a good 2021?" Kiri turns to the person next to them. "How about you, Ref?"

Ref has short brown hair and red glasses. "Yeah, my break was dOPE," she says, leaving everyone to wonder how he did that with their voice. "oH, and happy belated Hanukkah to Shai!"

"Thanks, you too. And guess what! I didn't set my hair on fire this year!"

A short guy with strawberry blonde hair looks concerned. "Um. Congratulations?"

"Thanks, Sam!"

Sophie looks away from the screen and at Biana. "There are a lot of characters..." she mutters.

"Yeah, but you get to know them well enough eventually," says Biana. "Now shh, let's keep watching!"

A lot of other characters are introduced in various conversations, and Sophie's brain has a hard time keeping track of them all. She does remember Tara, a curvy, bored-looking girl with long sideswept bangs, and Blue, a bisexual who may or may not be an arsonist. She doesn't know either of their personalities very well yet, but she likes them so far. Lucat, a pale, blue haired asexual, who later joins the Hanukkah conversation, also seems cool.

Once quite a bit of introductions are done- Sophie lost count at around twenty something- are over, an announcement comes over the school's loudspeakers.

"Welcome back, Tumblr High School!" announces a voice. "I hope you all had a good break. Now, the Tumblr staff have an important announcement for you all. High schools in this county, like ours, Pinterest High School, and Instagram High School, will be holding a competition. All members of the winning team will receive a scholarship to AO3 college. If you are interested, meet in room 69 after school. Now, onto other announcements..."

Somber kazoos play again as the principal's droning voice fades into the background. A montage of the previously introduced characters wishing they could go to AO3 college moves across the screen. After a few minutes of them zooming through school and talking about how fucking boring it is, all of them gather in the room (some of them with more jokes than others) to discuss the competition.

A blonde woman welcomes them into the room. They wait a while to make sure no one else will arrive, but once everyone is there, the woman clears her throat. "Hello, everyone! I'm glad you're interested in joining the competition. My name is Shannon Messenger, and I'm in charge of admissions at AO3 College. My coworker L*ura and I designed this competition."

Sophie gasps and looks at Biana. "L*ura? But isn't that the person they hate? They said that in the intro!" Biana smiles at her, and she blushes as she realizes that she's kind of... maybe... invested in the show now. She decides she'll endure the "I told you so"s later and looks back at the show, trying to telepathically tell the characters not to trust this L*ura person... and perhaps not Shannon either. It's too early to tell whether Shannon will be an antagonist or not.

"All of you will be working as a team to write a story together. The main premise is that a twelve year old girl named Sophia is a telepath, but she can't tell anyone her secret. Then, she meets a teal-eyed boy named Finn, and he tells her that she's an elf. She travels back to the elf world with him, where she struggles a bit at the elf school Firefox, makes friends with some other elves, learns that she is an illegal creation of a rebel group called the Dark Duck, and another rebel group- the Rarelynoticed- tries to kidnap and kill Sophia and her friend Deck. There are other details to be included into the story, which will be given out to the participants as a packet. The object of this competition is not to determine your ability at coming up with story ideas, but your ability to work in groups and execute well developed ideas. Does anyone have any questions?"

Someone raises their hand- a short, tanned girl. "Lynn?" prompts the principal.

"Did you say the rebel group was named the Dark Duck?"

"And the Rarelynoticed?" adds another person, with rectangular glasses and a red bracelet.

"Raise your hand before speaking, Auran," scolds the principal. "But yes, those are the names."

"Alright then," Auran mutters.

"Unless anyone else has questions, we'll be sending out sign up forms for everyone interested, and then we will distribute the information packets about your story. You can talk to each other and start planning."

No one else has questions, so once they've all filled out the sign up form, they gather in small groups and flip through the packets, making sarcastic comments or mocking names ("'Rarelynoticed' though-" a stylish hijabi named Raiin sighs as they come across a page of information about the group) as they try to form some semblance of a plan. Once they all agree that they've made a lot of progress, they make plans to meet up again soon and walk back home.

Unbeknownst to them, a pair of ominous teal eyes watch from above.

Somber kazoos play once again, and the credits roll.

"So, what'd you think?" Biana asks as Sophie closes her laptop.

Rather inaudibly, Sophie mumbles "It was good."

"What was that?"

"It was good! I liked it!"

Biana grins. "I told you so." She leans over and kisses Sophie on the cheek. "Thanks for watching it. I have to go do some homework, awesome seeing you!" As she walks out, Sophie hears her singing under her breath. "We must be gay..."

#tumblr kotlc fandom fandom #keepers of the chaos #shai types things #cursing tw #we must be g a y #shai's writing

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memoriashell · 4 years

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seashells and shores ( and something a bit more )

Characters / Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru, ensemble class 78; varyingly background / implied ships are sakuraoi / ishimondo / celeschi / naeleogami

crossposted on ao3

Notes: a very late day 3 for @tokomaruweek. beach prompt! yesterday i was feeling a little burnt out so i decided to not write since i didn’t want to put out something half assed. hopefully this being a bit longer helps make up for it! ( and by a bit, i mean i basically doubled the word count compared to what i’ve done for this week so far lmao rip so much for hoping i’d catch up tonight )

rated t for touko's trauma. and also for junko having her tits out. thanks junko.

anyways tw for like trauma, the general self-depricating / self-concious stuff for toko but also like. her trauma w/ water is brought up since it's. beach? and also drowning doesn't actually happen but it is brought up. and touko mentions claustrophobia in relation to her trauma offhandedly once, and again, just generally feeling insecure.

also it's kinda implied that chihiro and celes are both trans thank you!!!

Summary: going to the beach isn't exactly an exciting thought for her, given the fact she has no desire getting in the water.

komaru seems dead set on making sure she makes some memories anyways.

Do you want to come to the beach with us? That is the first text of the morning that she receives, courtesy of Makoto Naegi. Touko considers asking who he means by us, gathers that he probably means some assortment of their classmates, and ( while it is very tempting to say yes ) concludes that she can safely say no. And she intends to do exactly that, but she gets a set of texts that stops her from being able to do so.

touko-chan!!!!

ur coming with us, right?

you should come with us!

itll be fun!

So Komaru would be there too— their...friendship is odd, all things considered. Not that the knowledge of knowing she’d be there makes the offer any more tempting, but she bites her lip and considers what to say. Not that there’s really much of a question, just keep it blunt and to the point as per usual. No point in sugar coating things.

I’m busy. Maybe next time. She’s not that busy, current manuscript aside. Not that Touko intended on ever not being busy. It’s not her fault that Komaru is too dense to take a hint.

awww :(

pls?

if u don’t wanna get in the water, ill make sure they’ll leave you alone. im sure you won’t be the only one that doesnt want to!!

Ah. She might have to ( partially ) retract her statement on Komaru being dense. Had she figured out her reluctance without her even mentioning it, or had that just been a lucky guess? Maybe it was just Makoto’s luck rubbing off on her...

i understand if you don’t want to come

and i’ll leave u alone if u rlly dont wanna come.

but it wont be as much fun without you there :(

Urgh. Yeah, this girl doesn’t understand a thing, does she? She’s probably not even realized the impact her words have on her. Touko grumbles under her breath, but figures she should respond before Komaru sends another text begging trying to convince her.

Fine.

I’m not going in the water, though.

If this goes horribly wrong, I’m blaming you.

That is a lie. Even if worst comes to worst and Syo feels the need to front for her, she won’t hold it against her. She’s the one who agreed, after all. It’s just one last attempt at offering her an out. To change her mind. Like she should. But Komaru is nothing if not stubborn, so she doesn’t really expect that offer to be taken up on. She starts making a mental checklist of what she probably needs to take with her, doesn’t get very far into that list because Komaru’s response is nearly instantaneous.

yayayayay tnk u touko-chan ily!!!!!! :D

we’ll pick u up k????

ur staying @ the place near the dorms right? see u soon!! ♡♡

Touko grimaces at the butchering of language that is Komaru’s texting ( and ignores her own fluttering heart upon seeing the casual hearts sprinkled in at the end ), and sends back, If you love me, fix your grammar.

The car ride over is mostly uneventful. In that she means she feels like she’s going to have a headache before they even get there and Makoto keeps giving her a sympathetic look. In other words, she’s learned that Komaru and both Asahina siblings should not be left to entertain themselves for the hour-long car ride, but the only silver lining here is that it was only an hour-long ride and hopefully they would be tired out for the ride back.

The highlight of the hour was that even if it’d been a tight squeeze in the backseat, that meant she’d been ( somewhat ) uncomfortably sandwiched between the door and Komaru herself. She’s a little surprised that it doesn’t set off her claustrophobia, but reckons that might just be because it’s too bright to remind her of being locked in a closet. And also because Komaru is generally distracting in close proximity, from the way she’d been halfway sitting on her lap, to the faint scent of what Touko figures to be her shampoo.

She also considers it a victory that she did not dissociate in the midst of that, but probably only because Komaru kept checking on her and apologizing for how close they are: she’d had to bite her tongue several times from saying something harsher than she’d really mean. She doesn't hate Syo, but probably counterintuitive to let them front today: whether they are aware of this, or simply just disinterested in trying to front right now, she is thankful. If nothing else, she would consider this some kind of learning moment. Maybe. Something to draw inspiration from?

Still, once she’s free from the confines of the car, she can actually relax a little— or does for all of two seconds before Komaru has grabbed onto her free hand and started dragging her towards the loud group that she recognizes as her class. Yuta and Aoi had bolted out of the car the moment they’d come to a stop to race to the waters ( she can’t imagine being that athletic and feels tired watching them ). Touko gazes back longingly at the confines of the car and the consideration that she might’ve been able to isolate herself there, but her grip’s pretty tight on her hand. Which is nice, and distracts her from thinking about escaping until it's way too late, and she’s forced to look at the group before her, and—

Slaps a hand over Komaru’s eyes with a groan. “Enoshima, wh-what the fuck, you—” She holds off on the ( derogatory ) word she wants to say, and just scowls at the sight before her. “This isn’t a...a nude beach? Are you t-t-trying to get us in trouble or something?” Granted she’s not technically completely nude, but also more revealing than she should be. Seriously, she would’ve figured that Ishimaru would’ve already told Enoshima off already because what else is he good for ( then again, he is single-handedly the only person who would probably take no real issue with it, or be naively convinced by her that it wasn’t really a problem, so maybe she really shouldn’t be that surprised ).

Enoshima cackles at her. “Don’t be a prude, Fukawa! Or are you jealous? I’m just trying to get a sick tan.” While she’s at it, where the hell is Ikusaba to keep her sister in check? Whatever, that’s not really important, and she refuses to dignify that with a response given that Enoshima probably only wants to get a rise out of her.

Instead, she makes sure to put a decent distance between them before removing her hand from over Komaru’s eyes with a huff. “Urgh, honestly...what on earth m-made her think that was a, a good idea?” She grumbles, glancing around now that she doesn’t have to stare directly at...that.

Actually, now that she looks around, the only seemingly responsible person from their class currently present was Oogami— and honestly, she seems too busy being in love with her girlfriend to count ( if it wasn’t kind of heartwarming, she’d probably be disgusted. Not in a homophobic way, in a general ew PDA sort of way ). As for any else viably responsible: Kirigiri being absent wasn’t a surprise, Fujisaki’s too soft to really keep people in check, Byakuya is...his own entirely separate category, and she would rather die than count Hagakure as responsible in any capacity. And Makoto might be a voice of reason, but she’s pretty sure he’s utterly useless here. Which is probably a horrible sign of things to come, but what else did she expect from anything involving her peers?

“You don’t want to go in the water, right?” Komaru’s voice cuts in through her thoughts, watching her closely before taking her hand to start pulling her along then. “We should set up somewhere to sit, then!”

We? She thinks, but instead attempts to free her hand from her grip and voices, “...Don’t you want to go in th-the water with the rest of them? You don’t have to, uh, to stay with me, you know. I’m not a k-k-kid.”

Her expression looks conflicted. “Well, yeah, of course I do want to! But only for a bit, probably? I mean, it’d be kind of rude to leave you alone since I asked you to come?”

She ignores the way her stomach twists at that, and purses her lips. “Technically s-speaking, Makoto asked first. You aren’t— it’s not rude of you to want...to want to have some fun without me. I know I’m n-n-not fun to stick around.” She knows she wouldn’t want to stick around herself if she had the choice. “It’s not like, like I wasn’t prepared for th-that.”

“Yeah, but— that’s the thing. You shouldn’t be! And I want to spend time with everyone, and that includes you too.” And now she’s sulking. God. Fukawa is about to growl back something she’ll probably regret saying, but is saved from doing so by a much calmer voice interrupting, having overheard their argument.

“Why don’t you go join your brother for a bit? Fukawa-san can join us if she would like to. We have an extra seat.”

Celes looks hot— and she means that in a very literal sense ( mostly ), decked out in one of her usual frilly black dresses. She looks out of place in the hot summer heat. Touko is also not sure where and how she managed to get a table out here ( and tea, apparently, and you know what she’s just not going to question it ), but Fujisaki is already pulling out the extra seat in offering, and she sighs reluctantly. Better this than feeling like she’s holding Komaru back.

“G-G-Go. Or...or I’ll let Syo toss you in the water.” Not really a threat - if anything, Syo would dive bomb into the water with her. Argh, maybe she should’ve just let them front today...

( No, no she shouldn’t have. The only person currently present that Syo would’ve mostly listened to would be Komaru— and maybe Makoto or Fujisaki if they were feeling generous— which is an entirely different set of issues she doesn’t want to linger on. Needless to say, she doesn’t particularly want Syo to cause chaos today )

Touko is saved from having to argue further with her on this because as Komaru opens her mouth to protest, Yuta comes to steal her away, blabbering on about something about a game they should play: and while he’s definitely as oblivious as his sister, she’ll consider that a good thing, just this once. The only words Komaru manages to get in is to ask Toko to keep her bag for her, which she would’ve done anyways, picking it up from where she’d dropped it. She watches them wander off ( and only looks away when Komaru starts discarding the clothes she’d been wearing over her swimsuit ) before trudging over to sit next to Fujisaki, who flashes her a small smile as she types away on her laptop.

“I am surprised you came, Fukawa-san. You do not seem like the type for these activities. You are usually quite disinterested in participating in these kinds of things, in fact. Did something change?” Ugh. This is why Touko hates being around Ludenberg. Because she’s observant, generally only bested by Kirigiri in that regard, and is generally good at picking people apart when it comes to lies and acts and fronts ( though Touko would argue this is from personal experience, and not from being a gambler ). And this fact would have irritated her, quite honestly, if she had not self-sabatoged herself by taking it as an insult, instead.

“I-I-I get it. No one really wants...wants me here. That’s what you meant, right...? You don’t have to r-remind me.” She grits her teeth. If nothing else, when she isn’t busy lying, Touko can appreciate her honesty. The tiny hand that wraps around her wrist stops her from saying anything further, even if it doesn’t take much to wrench her arm out of Fujisaki’s grasp: but she gets the feeling she is only able to do so because she isn’t actually trying to hold on too tightly.

“I’m sure th-that’s not what she meant, Fukawa-san...” Ever quick to play peacekeeper, she supposes. Touko simply grumbles at her and rolls her eyes. “...Especially since not everyone was available today, it’s nice that you were able to join us!”

“Yes, it is a shame. I would have liked for Yamada-kun to have been able to help with my tea, today.” Celes sighs as if disappointed— really? That’s what she’s on about?

Touko does a second look at who is not currently gathered, and denotes, “Is Maizono st-still out on tour...?” She thinks Komaru had mentioned something like that in passing.

“Yes! Maizono-san is on tour, Yamada-kun is at an important convention, Ikusaba-san, she’s...doing some kind of training...? I think Kirigiri-san is supposed to be on the tail end of a rough case, and...” Here Fujisaki pauses to giggle into her hand. “I sh-shouldn’t really laugh at this really, but Ishimaru-kun got sick. Oowada-kun had to force him to rest since he had been trying to work through it and made it worse for himself... or so that’s what I was told.”

Oh, so that’s the reason she hasn’t heard the loudmouths today? She might take back her sentiments on Ishimaru being useless, but he’s on thin fucking ice. Of course the overachiever would get sick during the summer holidays— apparently, she’s not alone in that thought.

“Only Ishimaru-kun would get sick during vacation and still manage to find a reason to not take a break.” Celes rolls her eyes, but Touko gets the feeling she’s amused too.

“So wh-what you’re saying is, uh, is that Oowada’s going to get sick next...right? I guess— we’ll find out if idiots get s-s-sick or not.” Touko quips— which earns a softer laugh from Fujisaki, so that’s pretty good.

Of course, it wouldn’t be like her if she didn’t put her foot in her mouth almost immediately afterwards by asking why they aren’t going in the water: she’s not really surprised because Celes rarely participates in gym ( and coming from Touko that says a lot ), but she was pretty sure Fujisaki wasn’t that self-conscious of herself. Not as much? Not that she really has any place to talk in that regard.

“Well, we already went to the beach at the start of the summer holidays! I’m not really missing out on anything, and it’s probably not my last opportunity to go during this break anyways.” And then, a little more sheepishly. “...Also I’m close to making a breakthrough on this code, I think. I wanted the fresh air, but I don’t really think I can afford to take much of a break right now.”

“She would have stayed on the train if I did not warn her we were approaching our stop, I believe. And not all of us can be like Enoshima. The brazenness of that woman is truly something else.” Touko is not sure if she says that from a place of respect or fear, and honestly she relates. And also doesn’t say any further on the subject because Celes gives her a dirty look.

Her gaze goes back out to their peers— she is pointedly avoiding needing to look at where Enoshima is— and spots Komaru and Yuta splashing around with Aoi and Oogami. Well, it looks like just splashing at least, from where she’s at. And Hagakure, who really just looks like an out-of-place sea cretin with the way his hair floats on the water’s surface, so. There’s that?

( No, she’s not at all envious of the fact that all of them get to have fun because they don’t have crippling fears: the ocean does not instill the same fear of confinement that a cramped bathtub does, but fear— there is still the fear that something will tug her down and her body will simply let herself dragged underneath out of instinct, a fear of something worse if she tries to fight for survival— )

Focus. She can feel the way her breath catches a little, the uneasy way her heart beats and concentrates on calming down. She doesn’t seem to have gotten Syo’s attention yet, nor anyone else’s, thankfully. She’ll just...watch Komaru for now, yeah. It takes a moment to relocate her, head breaching from underneath the water and surfacing like...like one of the sea’s legendary enchantresses. She means that in a wholly respectful way, of course, watching the way she shakes the water from her hair, mouth open in a wide grin while she laughs. Touko doesn’t need to hear her to know that on the sole basis of her appearance— the bright look in her eyes is enough to say she is happily enjoying herself without her.

On that note, hm. Maybe she can use some of that for the basis of her next novel— something about a siren and a lady visiting the sea? Tragic romances are always a hit, aren’t they? Okay maybe a tragic lesbian romance is more self-projection, but that's besides the point. No one has to know its self-projection if people eat it up like anything else that has her name on it.

Or maybe you need to talk to a therapist more often? Syo contributes helpfully, apparently having become more conscious at some point. Maybe her panic hadn’t gone as unnoticed as she thought. Not that they’re wrong, but talking to a therapist isn’t exactly going to help with her gay pining ( unfortunately, she wishes it were that simple ).

Yeah, that’s not something she really wants to linger on, and as if Celes can read her mind, says, “How do you ladies feel about a bet?”

“Pass.” Touko says immediately, because she is arguably far from a smart person, but she is smart enough to know to not take her chances against the ultimate gambler. Celes ignores her.

“You see, I would bet that Komaru—”

“No. We’re leaving h-her out of it.” Toko interrupts, and Fujisaki ( thankfully, like the god sent angel she is, even if she seems too good to be real ) nods her agreement.

“I don’t think Naegi-kun would be really happy if he heard us talking about his little sister like that...” Her reasoning is fair, if nothing else.

“Fine. Do you think Naegi-kun is going to interfere on Togami-kun’s behalf, or help Kuwata-kun?” A painted fingernail points out the trio by the sea. Kuwata seems pretty intent on forcing Togami into the sea, suit and all, much to his disdain. The duo is yelling, probably. On the other hand, Makoto just looks like he doesn’t know whose side he’s supposed to be on here.

In the end, it doesn’t matter because by some luck ( or lack thereof ) Togami manages to trip on a washed up stone and ends up taking the other two boys down with him. The heir doesn’t even look all that mad, really, as Kuwata dunks him back under the water in retaliation: she knows what his angry face is, and that is not it, even if it looks kind of like he’s swallowing a lemon.

Or maybe that’s just her and her sour mood feeling like she’s swallowed several lemons raw because Touko doesn’t know how to make lemonade out of all the citrus life has handed her.

“By the way Fukawa-san, about Komaru—” Celes starts, but is interrupted by Komaru’s sharp yelling, which is followed by the wet feeling of her arms wrapping around her. Touko frowns, pushing her away.

“You’re w-wet.” She states the obvious as she makes a face, not that that seems to stop her. “Are you...you're done going in the water f-f-for now?”

“Mhm! It’s too cold in the water, honestly. You’re nice and warm.” Komaru hums happily, and she grabs a towel from her bag to wrap her up in it before she ends up being the next sick kid. “I was thinking we could maybe spilt a snack...? And then we could make a sandcastle! Asahina-san was telling me about shells she saw earlier that we could use?” Touko bites back a small snort at how childish she sounds.

“Yeah, yeah— let go of me, s-so I can get up...” She agrees, ignoring the curious way Celes’ watches their interactions. She mutters something that passes for a thanks before she leaves ( not that she thinks Fujisaki notices at that point, full enraptured by her laptop screen ).

By snack, Touko realizes that this is more of a way of making sure she eats lunch— Syo had not so accidentally let it slip once that when she gets caught up on things, she has the tendency to skip meals. She bites her tongue on saying that it wasn’t necessary and instead pays for their meal because she can do that, she has the money to spare for that kind of thing: and she knows she doesn’t need to, but sometimes she feels like she needs to make it up to her before Komaru gets sick of their friendship.

And if it comes off like a date, that’s simply just coincidence.

When they return to the shore, Komaru drags her off to an area a little more secluded— she doesn’t really realize this at first, simply accepting her fate to follow along, but notices she can’t really hear anyone else. It helps her relax, feel like she doesn’t need to be so guarded.

( It doesn’t stop Touko from briefly complaining about how sandy she’s going to get because of this, which is annoying. And then immediately shuts up because Komaru offers to let her borrow her clothes, and she has nothing coherent that she can say to that. She eventually manages to spit out a no when it becomes obvious Komaru is waiting for her to say something )

“Well, okay then. You can always let me know if you change your mind.” She says, then, “Oooh, Touko-chan! It looks like there are tide pools over here!”

Komaru leaves her to pick out shells for them to use while she does the dirty work of constructing a sand castle. “So you won’t end up too sandy,” she explains. “And I trust your eyes to pick out nice shells.” She can’t really complain— although she almost makes a scathing comment about the fact that her eyes can't really be trusted when she wears glasses— and just keeps away from the waves for the most part. The water laps at her feet while she lingers around the tide pool, and then returns with the fruits of her search.

It’s...not an awfully constructed sand castle. Well, that’s probably more than a little generous to say. You know, if she was going to compare it to something kids made. As it stands ( or doesn’t, if Touko is being honest ), it’s probably not the most...concretely built and looks like part of the base might fall apart at any moment, but doesn’t say anything as she dumps an assortment of shells at her feet. And then pulls out a towel, so she can sit and watch her work. It feels like there’s another problem with this, but she can’t quite place what it is; it’s probably not important enough to point out.

Going back to the novel idea: maybe it’s not about a siren after all. Maybe it’s about a sea princess instead. A lonely girl drowning in the waters called home, in a lonely castle, and—

“Here you go!” Komaru plops a shell into her hand with no warning and beams at her. “It’s nice and pretty just like you, Touko-chan. So you should keep it!”

She definitely doesn’t almost tear up upon hearing that, swallowing thickly as she bites back a self-deprecating, Are you sure it’s not just ugly like me? Instead, she picks out a small shell from the pile and holds it out to her.

“...H-H-Here. Completely plain and, and average like you.” And cute, but that’s not important. Still, Komaru looks like she’s actually said something of worth as she throws her arms around her neck.

“Thank you! I’ll take good care of it.” She acts like she’s given her a houseplant or something of actual value, and not a shell.

Stiffly— because she still really doesn’t know how to respond in these kinds of moments, despite being friends for a few odd months now— Touko pats her back and mutters, “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It is!” Komaru pouts at her. “It is to me. Isn’t that enough?”

She opens her mouth to point out that she’d really just been reciprocating a gesture, but the wave crashing over them interrupts the conversation— oh yeah, she thinks absently. That’d been the other problem that she’d noticed when Komaru had started building, but hadn’t thought it was a big enough issue to point out.

Once she processes that yes, that happens, her first thought is how cold she is now, soaked to the bone. Touko represses a shudder and tries to ignore the fact that she will need to shower later because salt water gets itchy. The second thing that occurs to her, in the midst of this, is that now Komaru is wailing into her shoulder.

“I should’ve been more careful, I’m sorry Touko-chan! You’re okay? You aren’t upset, are you? I thought th—” Touko leans forward to cut her off. Her lips taste like salt, and vaguely reminiscent of the sweet snack Komaru had coaxed her into splitting. She wants to bite down on her lip, a nervous habit, and pulls back before she can accidentally manage to bite the other’s lips instead. The implications of that are a lot more than she’s willing to handle right now, and averts her gaze as soon as she leans back, so she does not have to acknowledge her actions.

That doesn’t stop Komaru from throwing her arms around her a little too eagerly, a grunt at the impact of their bodies colliding. “Too m-much.” Touko manages to wheeze out, and before she can start apologizing again, follows with, “I’m not upset. I should probably just...just buy something overpriced from one of th-the nearby shops since our clothes are soaked now...”

She takes this in fairly good stride, jumping to her feet and pulling her up by her hands. “Can I pick out an outfit for you? It’ll be fun!”

Their ideas of fun are very different quite frankly, but considering Komaru won’t overthink her appearance like she does, thus meaning it’ll be more time efficient. And quite frankly, she’s tired, so she just agrees. On the condition they can just go take a nap in the car afterwards.

Touko doesn’t quite agree with Komaru’s fashion choices, but she picks out clothes that cover up everything that needs to be hidden, so she can’t exactly complain. Nor does she complain when they do less napping and more snuggling in the backseat. Which means on the ride back, Komaru ends up falling asleep on her shoulder. She thinks about how pretty she looks in the light of the sunset.

Maybe she can rethink her next novel being a romantic tragedy.

#tokomaru week 2021 #toukomaru #tokomaru #komaru naegi #toko fukawa #touko fukawa #danganronpa #* zhi writes

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if-the-crown-fits-translate-it · 3 years

Text

Duchy Conversation 4

[27/03, 4:29 AM GMT - 27/03, 6:13 AM GMT]

[The following transcript details the conversation is between one of the Crown ARG Discord members and Duke on Twitter]

Donti: “Hi! How was your day?

Its me again :)c

((If its late or youre sleeping dw about responding :p))”

Duke: “Forgive my tardiness, my embroidery was enchanting me so that my ears laid unaware!

How do you do, Donti? It is the Duke speaking. I must say, my sister has quite the opinion of you!”

Donti: “Oh its great to talk to you again Duke :D I hope I left a good impression! Is your embroidery going well?”

Duke: “It is going quite splendid! The Crown truly does spoil us, giving my sister and I such rich-coloured thread. Truly we are fortunate for his generosity and love.”

Donti: “Ohh! Good colors always make embroidery fun! What are you making?”

Duke: “I must ask though - as a sheep yourself why must you graze on such nimble hearts? Wolves are not supposed to concern themselves with the opinions and thoughts of prey such as yourselves but Prince is but a pup, why must you all be so cruel? I am quite interested in the answer, you see, because it is I who saw the tear tracks down faers face and I who heard the drums of despair in this household.”

Donti: “Oh..

Are you talking about blunt anon?

All of us are very angry at them, whoever they are.

I promise they do not reflect us as a whole.”

Duke: “To answer your previous question however, I am making a rose for Baroness. I do feel horribly for how I was unable to aid her with her spoiled dress so I do hope this gift soothes her and shows that there is no ill will from I to her.”

Donti: “Thats nice! Baroness loves flowers and nature! Thats super thoughtful of you. Im sure she'll love it :D

But back to Prince... Are fae ok? we're worried about faem.”

Duke: “"Blunt anon" is quite a peculiar name I must say. Indeed that is the scoundrel I speak of. It is wonderful to hear that you all are not that way - frankly, if I suspected you were the one to make Prince cry I would have simply neglected to respond, as is customary when one deals with enemies of one's family. Prince is currently recuperating, poor thing. A bleeding heart only leads to death and yet fae still has not learned that yet. I do wish you to send out a warning if you would be so kind - do let anyone know that if they ever treat Duchess in such a matter they will swiftly come to regret it. A gentleman does not revel in violence but she is my most dearest sister.

I thank you for your kind words however, I do indeed hope she enjoys my gift so - do not tell the others but she may be the only one in this family I can truly connect to on an intellectual setting, besides my sister of course.”

Donti: “Ill tell people not to be rude to Duchess. Not that they would.. Im pretty sure they like her :D”

Donti: “"Blunt anon" came when people would send... Rude asks to people. It was originally just blunt questions. But it escalated to... What happened to Prince :( We're trying to find them, but theres only so much we can do

Oh wait! have other people reached out to you all yet?”

Donti: “I know some of my good friends have talked to duchess.. But not to you yet!”

Duke: “Ah, indeed people have reached out and only Duchess was there to greet them. It pains me of course but I found myself with activities to do throughout the day. Schooling is still important to Duchess and I so that took up quite a bit of time - do not tell Crown but I was indeed spending time taking in the beauty of ballet instead of working purely on my Latin. Tea time too is an important affair, especially for I, and then it is always important to spend time with ones sister! So alas, you have been the only one I have graced with my thoughts and feelings out of your crowd of sheep.”

Donti: “Hm. I like the name sheep... Its a little kinder than "plebs"

You seems to like a lot of.. Elegant things! (I hope thats the right word) like embroidery and ballet! Where did you learn such refined taste :oc”

Duke: “Where did I learn such refined tastes? They have always been apart of me, you must understand. The Crown helped unlock those parts that I kept buried deep away and help nurture them. Oh such a brute I used to be! No care for the finer things in life, only one-upping my beloved sister. To think I used to slide in the dirt just for a measly point - bah! Truly I am in much debt to the Crown, for without him I still may have been a unruly fool.”

Donti: “... You played sports before you met Crown?”

Duke: “My sister and I both did, yes. It does not do well to dwell on such miserable times, Donti. This is why little one you are still a lamb.”

Donti: “Oh! If you don't want to talk about it, you dont have to! ^u^ Friends dont force their friends to talk about uncomfortable things!

Hm... But if the plebs are sheep... And I am a lamb... Who is the shepard...?”

Duke: “How sweet! Tell me, little lamb, who do you think the shepherd is? Or if there is one at all?

If you are a little lamb then I must ask, is there a Mary to be found alongside you as well?”

Donti: “Hm.... I think from our perspective the shepherd, (or shepherds in this case) would be our lovely mods :D

But from your point of view? Its most definitely Crown!

Andd.. Im assuming a Mary is a leader... Little lambs follow Mary after all... Hm. A lot of us have shown leadership at some point in time or another! It really depends on the scenario!”

Duke: “Intriguing.

It depends on the scenario you say?”

Donti: “Yep! People take charge depending on whats happening, and sometimes theres no leadership, just us discussing and working through it!

Why do you ask?”

Duke: “When the flocks have gone and left and all there is is the gentle bobbing of the water, who do you trust to save you from drowning? While you thrash and scream and feel yourself weaken who do you look towards for guidance? When the taste of salt kisses the interior of your esophagus whose name is on the tip of your dying tongue?

For I, it is the Crown, as he saved my sister and I from exactly that fate - but who is it for you?”

Donti: “Hm.. As a "flock" we all support one another.. That way, we can have multiple points of support! One person supporting that many people would be very stressful for that one person, you know”

Duke: “Of course.

Even then in a home all parts play along and join in the symphony but even with that, some are still load-bearing.

Who would be your load-bearing walls? All I ask is for some simple names, you understand. My curiosity is much like a cat, you see. Only satisfaction may truly bring me back.”

Donti: “Hm.. Are you asking for the names of my friends?

Well. There's Jack and Raeva, whom Duchess has spoken with, I think. Llyr, Ren, and Luna are also friends of mine. But I try not to burden them.

They are not so much load bearing pillars, but more of frail walls to shield me from the cold.”

Duke: “The drifting breezes that bring forth frost and tremors truly are such tiresome times. That you have shields is wonderful and it does ease my heart, but I do feel as though I must impart some wisdom else I'd be an unfavourable acquaintance - do try and build yourself a roaring inferno, little sheep.

Have so much fire around yourself that the winds cannot glance your way and even the Grand Archer Yi looks on with fear.”

Donti: “... And what if the fire burns me?

What then?”

Duke: “Do you think yourself unable to control the flames?”

Donti: “...Yes. Flames are temperamental, after all. When the inferno's dried up every last bit of water and eaten all of the wood, what will it turn to?”

Duke: “You want the answer to be yourself, I can see you reaching for it with an outstretched palm. Here is the truth: you can quell flames easily with just a few words. You can breathe in the ash and let the smoke dissipate. You do not have to be burned.

Ah, but these are just fun matters to think about. Do not dwell on my words too much. I would hate for you to overthink just simple pondering.”

Donti: “...Ill take your words to heart, friend. Even if it's just banter.

How do you know this?”

Duke: “Do not cause yourself concern with such a thing. In case I have caused you to distress then please do take this video as repentance. Isn't it so lovely how she spins?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqejv_BQ7Zg”

Donti: “Oh! that is a pretty video.. I wonder how long it took for her to make it so effortless..?

Do you dance?”

Duke: “Such an exquisite form of art. The mastery she has put forth would bring others to shame and ruin. A true professional since birth. I myself do not dance in this way - my sister and I are well versed in the waltz and ballroom dance as is customary for our statuses - but ballet alludes me. Alas, if only that was the direction I chose for my life to go but no matter - I have embroidery, poetry and oil painting to keep me truly green from envy.”

Donti: “Those are very enviable hobbies! I imagine you're skilled at them too! As for ballet... Ive heard that in order to dance that way, one has to go through great pain. I'd hate for you to experience that”

Duke: “A bit of suffering is always worth the pain if beauty and joy can be received in the end, do you not think?”

Donti: “As long as youre happy, I suppose!

I’m sorry to cut this short, but its getting late for me! And probably for you too ^^

I hope you rest well!”

Duke: “I hope you have humble dreams and a quiet rest. Goodnight, little lamb.”

#on:twitter #by:duchy #by:duke #if the crown fits

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secnghwa · 3 years

Note

hi vivi ! how are you today ? how has your done gone :o i hope it went well ><

kuroo !!!! i used to have such bad brainrot for him 💀 he is also everything I want in a man. i have never heard of that anime :o i’ll have to check it out !! time zones 👁👁 and nooooo don’t be sorry about being late >:c take your own time and don’t feel pressured about answering my asks. ill be here waiting ^^ (GAD THAT SOUNDS KINDA CREEPY BUT I DONT MEAN IT LIKE THAT) BDKNFKF I feel honored ??? idk you just seem like a very fun person to talk to <3 i indeed have a injury ;-; my spine + hips decided to be mean and go out of alignment which means I get a lot of pain in my lower back/hip area when I swim JFKNFKF AND YES I GOT MY TACOS AND MY MOM GOT ME SUBWAY TOO SO DOUBLE WIN !!!

(also ps i have a very very very bad habit of accidentally forgetting to sign off on asks and it’s already showing 🤡)

- 🍁 anon

i felt that self destruction post- i was trying to export gifs from ps today and it just [insert computer aggressively fanning] genuinely had a thought my laptop would break on me LMAO

also alSO ALSO YOU STAN SEVENTEEN ???!?!?!? im like. a huge carat HDKFBKFNF <3 and i see you bias minghao <3 me too <3 (although I swear I ult woozi,,,, no im not lying to myself)

- 🍁 anon (it’s me. AGAIN)

hihi vivi how was your day today ? I hope it went well !! i just started making ateez gifs again after getting photoshop and it’s been making my laptop go brrrrrr- i hope the gifsets that you were talking about reaches 1k vvv soon >:) also also also the new hairstyles :o i also very much love yunhos new hairstyle !! sans hair reminds me a chick and that’s all I can think when I look at the new pics 💀 mingi’s blonde hairstyle makes him look so soft and I’m just HDJFNDKKFKF 🥺🤧☹️

- 🍁

fsjdkf I HATE TUMBLR I CANNOT BELIEVE IT DELETED EVERYTHING I HAD SIX PARAGRAPHS OF WORD VOMIT /???????? anyways i guess it's time to try again to remembver waht i said FJIWEOFJSDKLF fIRST OFF !!! are you going to / /already receiving therapy/physio for your injury bec I DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE HURT FOR LONG !!!!!!!! THAT IS NOT PLEASANT AT ALL HHHHhhhHHHH please please please take care of fyourself !!!!!

second i'm sorry sorry sorry for always taking literal days to respond IT'S JUST THESE DAYS I'VE BEEN TAKING A SUMMER COURSE AND IT'S REALLY TAKING A TOLL ON MEM HAHAHAHH i've seriously just been coming on, queueing posts, and leaving oopS but alas it is what it is LMAO

third yes i am such a big closet svt stan like i have so many svt gifblr moots but I'VE NEVER FELT THE URGE TO GIF FOR THEM SO IT STAYS IN THE CLOSEt ???? but i am such a loser for china line bec i'm part chinese and it just gets me every time they speak in chinese BEC THEY'RE SO FUNNY it can't even be translated into english with the same amount of funny . .,,,, does that make sense???? also psssstttttt woozi ult i seEEE YOUUUU ( i don't rmb if i've aksed you before but who's ur atz bias heheehee)

FOR TODAY !!!!! today has bveen very. very fun after work i got together with a few of my coworkers (who also happen to be my school friends and also my family friends who i've known for like 7 years) ALSO YOU MAKE ATEEZ GIFS ?????? please if you ever need help with giffing n whatever do not hesitate to reach out i will try my bestest with my limited knowledge to assist you or we cld work thru the issue together omg it can be a learning xperience for me too !!!!! (fun fact when i was making my recent san inception gifset my laptop almost crashed on me as in it. froze for like a solid minute and just came back I GOT SO SCARED I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOSE ALL OF MY COLOURING(

ALSO I AM LOWKEY PRAYING FOR THE FEW GIFS (like two gifsets i think) to FINALLY REACH 1K notes bec then it can be added to my 1k atz tag (which doesn't seem like a lot but i'm actually very proud of evbery single gifset in it MWAHHH) the gifs that r so . close (like 950 notes) are this one and this one HELLPPPPPPP

LASTLY THE ATEEZ HARISTYLES I CAN GO ON HOURS ABOUT IT !!!!!!!! it is truly an honour to be able to see yunho's streaky red hair ( fun fact 2 every single ateez era where a member has had pink/red hair = a hit and this is simply a fact . ) mingis hairstyle makes him look so smoochable in the kindest way i want to give him a hug and tell him he's doing amazing <3333333

PS I JUST WNATED TO THANK YOU FOR READING TYHRU ALL OF THIS WORD VOMIT WITHOUT GETTING BORED i am so sorry there are so many topic jumps but omg i get v excited talking to you <333 n i hope u feel the sam e!!!

#thius is like an essay #let me do a word count and check how manyt words there are #567 words nice #stonks #🍁 anon #inbox

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cybernightwanderer · 4 years

Text

How whats left of me faded away, and how my first christmas home became my last : - The day my mom died. - The concept of family finally ended for me. - And how “ it doesnt get any better”.

23rd December.

These past few months i have been on psiquiatric medical leave from work due to a very severe depression thanks to the amazing workplace enviroment that has now crippled me so deeply physically and mentally, more before.

Its funny how when i try my hardest to recover and get my life back, its becomes so clear its a fucking joke.

Begining of the year i managed to fight off my mom on the money she was forcing me to pay her, and i managed to pay less from what i was paying before, and due to these medical leaves and corona, i get very little support finnancialy. I managed to save up almost 1k, i was ready to start believinng i could fix up my life. However i still pay her what i have to monthly, half the bills, 50 euros for food that i may consume at the house, and i also buy my food and my own things like i always did.

My mom has the tendancy to force me to take borrowed money she lends me.

For example mid corona time, i had to have gum surgery due to an old tooth infection, wich turned out to be 3 tooths, and i took out 2, needless to say my mom helped me with half of the apointments, i payed the surgery ones but then i needed follow up apointments so i wouldnt lose 4 more teeth. Apointments i canceled right away , beause i didnt have any money, and my mom being the mom that she is i always refuse her “ loans “ due to her being worse than a fucking stereotipical loan shark that takes that money back with interest, but in mental health and sanity. However she kept squedueling the apointments without me knowing, then tell me 1 day early, then get mad at me because id tell her i had no money so i told her to cancel and not make apointments without my consent and knowledge. This to wich she responded with screams , name calling , telling me to cancel myself and the general griefing of : “OK fine ill never help u with anything again “ / “ ok fine i dont care anymore then “, “ what you are too good to take my money is that it? “ Then when i standed my ground , proceeding to treat me miserably for the following week, demanding me to do random chores, just for the sake of punishing me , leaving dirty dishes of her own food acumulating so she could force me to do them and threaten me with a beating if i didnt, or making me wash the bathroom everyday for no reason.

With all this mess, half the money i had saved up + using it on the apointments and paying her back right away at the end of the month the consultations i owed her. I was left with 400 bucks.

Wich later on were also spent in dentist urgency apointments, because i kept having infections, psiquiatrist apointments and medicine and a laywer for the work harrassement situation, and then and there, all my money was gone.

The situation goes by, im home , receiving basic support for the medical leave, i pay my share of the bills and i do my own thing, however depression has gotten worse, my attacks have gotten worse, and everything just feels like rock bottom here.

These last 2 months, ive been trying so hard... so hard to get back on my feet, i was taking my medicine, i was taking a languague course, i was going to the doctor. I was really, really trying. Its funny how hard i was trying, for the first time in my life i was really trying to believe it could get better.

My mom was even acting nice and it almost seemed like she was really supporting me and trying.

December 23. Me and my mom go the psiquiatrist apointment for him to avaluate my condition. For the first time the apointment wasnt so heavy, it didnt leave me so weary from it. I finally believed. By the end of the consultation my doctor asks my mom to make sure i dont go back to that work place, because it might have a huge take on my life. My mom turns to the doctor and says : “ I know she cant go back , but she cant be unemployed either.” And the doctor says : “ I know, but if she goes back it can make her worse, we cant let that happend, its damaging her“ ( meaning she could kill herself, due to the last apointments conversation ) On to wich my mother replied : “ Well i cant be providing for us both with my money “.

...

When we arrived at the car i asked her why she said that and what she meant by that. And i told her that i pay for my food and that i pay for the things i eat that she buys ( wich is not much ) and that i also pay for half the bills.

To wich she agressivly threatned me to shut up and started yelling right away and acting like a victim with her mild aneurism that happend quite a few years ago in wich she HAS BEEN FULLY HEALED AND PERFECT HEALTHY, but always uses as an excuse to dodge the discussion after demanding certain shit or just plain insulting me. After a lot of lying and name calling and even telling me that i eat her food and that i live off of her. Into wich i replied, i dont always eat your food , and theres a lot of times when i dont eat and you yell at me and treat me badly for not eating your food wich led me to just eat cereals for months everyday as all 3 meals or not even eating and skipping meals for being too afraid of making my own food in the kitchen.

And so on... And i asked her what she wanted from me. And after a long car fight and a lot of gaslighting, she finnaly admitted she just wanted more money “ because if all your friends pay normal rent , you should too “ ( meaning a 450 rent ).

And then i just gave up and told her ok, ill pay you a full rent and i will also never toutch your food again. She laughed and made fun of me. And said : like ur even gonna buy your own food, you always use my things. to wich i asked what things? Oh you use my shampoo and toilet paper. To wich then i replied, everytime i buy toiler paper for me, you just take it as your own, and i dont use your shampoo or body wash i buy my own and i have been buying my own. And she just kept fighting me on it saying i do...and i told her i dont, if i by any chance dont have shampo ill use body wash as shampoo or vice versa. She just wanted to be right, so i just told her, ill pay you anything you want, i just dont wanna fight anymore im tired. To wich then she just kept saying “ oh now ur just trowing a fit “ And i sayd to her, why me agreing to what u ask and calmly shutting up to not fight anymore , how is that trowing a fit? i just gave you what you wanted, you dont need to be angry anymore.

And she just kept going at it, trying to poke my nerves until i just completly yelled and when crazy. The she acted like a victim again.

I am so drained, i am so tired....

After that discussion it was just 10 minutes of silence. I made a decision. That woman is not my mother anymore.

She wants to be a landlord so bad, she will be one.

My mother has died.

After a few minutes almost home , she decides to turn the “ mother mode “ on, and goes like “ oh you have to go to the doctor blah blah lets get your medicine etc. And i just told her, no. Ill go to the doctor on my own means, and ill buy the medicine when i have money.

Obviously she completly dismissed what i sayd and tried to drive me to the doctor and the pharmacy. After a few NO’s , she went home.

I got home, i took care of my things and i sorted out my doctors paperwork, she tries to come into my room, and acting like a worried mother like : “ oh did you do this -- etc” ( what i was already doing ) and i just told her, to stop. That she doesnt get to “ talk to me about those things anymore, or about my buisness.

Shes not my mother anymore. She doesnt get to act like a mother do just order me around and controll me. She is just a landlord now.

A few hours later, shes wrapping up presents and asks me to do it and asks me for my gifts wrapping thingies, and i told her no. Immediatly got mad at me and kept trowing provocative comments. And i told her, i didnt want any xmas gift from her, and that i wouldnt be spending xmas with her.

She made that usual smirk she mades when she sees me upset.

fast forward, the next day.

24 December

---

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hassaikai-khaleesi · 5 years

Text

21 Questions (w/ Aki & Kai) - Overhaul & Protege One Shot

Have some slice of life fluff or whatever you wanna call this lmao

Kai expected something like this would happen.

Aki was new to the Yakuza, Shie Hassaikai and the environment that it brought so it was natural that she would have...many questions.

But Kai expected different questions than the ones she was coming up with. They were rather useless ones to say the least.

It all started when she would peak her head in his office and not say a word. He wouldn't acknowledge her but he felt her presence. After a few seconds she would walk away and she wouldn't come back for the rest of the day.

She was on the quiet side but she didn't give off the shy aura that she used as a front when she attended UA High. So he knew that if she had something to say, she would say it if she cared enough.

But she did this every. Single. Day. For about two weeks and Chisaki about had enough.

One day when Aki did her daily routine of peaking through the door, he spoke without looking up from his papers.

"If you have something to say, then say it. Don't just stand there like an idiot."

She didn't flinch but she did obey him.

"Why… do you wear a mask?"

He looked up at her, his golden eyes meeting her jade ones. "I'm...sensitive to dirt. It keeps the filth out."

"What dirt?" She asked furrowing her eyes in confusion. "What filth? This place is so clean it makes me feel dirty myself and I shower twice a day."

At least she has decent Hygiene.

He sighed behind his black mask and leaned back in his chair, crossing his leg over the other and folding his hands and leaning them over his belt. He looked relax. "It's better to be safe than sorry."

"Fair," she replied as she stood completely in the opening of the doorway, revealing her figure. "So...then why the plague mask?"

"It keeps the disease out."

"How poetic," she smirked in amusement and approval. "Which illness are we speaking of? It is flu season so I don't exactly blame you."

"No," he began. "I'm talking about quirks and the Hero Syndrome caused from it. Something you, thankfully, don't have."

"Hero Syndrome," she repeated it feeling how it sounded coming out of her mouth. "I like that. The name I mean, of course."

He slowly blinked at her with boredom in his expression. But that didn't really bother her. She let out an accomplished sigh and smiled.

"Okay," she chirped. "Bye for now!" She sang and then walked away.

What the hell? That's all she wanted to know? He was almost offended. He even prepared himself to receive multiple upon multiples of questions.

He went on the rest of the day confused and irritated.

Lola, his significant other, even noticed and took matters into her own hands to make him feel better.

"You know," she began as she sat on her side of the bed in their shared bedroom in a silky oversized Tee shirt-like night sleep top and her silvery hair tied up in a bun on top of her head. "My mother always told me to never go to sleep upset. It's not good for the soul." She leaned one arm on the bed and looked up at his tensed figure.

He let out a sign and held the bridge of his nose. "She's an idiot." Lola looked up at him with a look of disbelief and offense, which he noticed. "Not your mother." He explained. "My Protege. She's an idiot."

"What makes you say that?" she asked, making her index and ring finger walk across the white bed sheets up to his hand as she looked up at him with angelical questioning eyes which caused him to flip his gloved hand granting her the permission she was asking for.

"She gets brought into the Yakuza and Shie Hassaikai and she didn't ask one damn question about it. Instead she asked why I wear masks."

As she placed her small hand in his...rather large one, she giggled. which caused Kai to furrow his brows and narrowed his eyes at her.

"She's not an idiot," she smiled sweetly up at him. "She wants to get to know you."

He scoffed at that ridiculous response. "What for?"

"You're thinking to much about it," she said as she adjusted herself on the bed to lay completely on it and swing her feet back and forth. "She is a child and children always have tons of questions"

"She is a fifteen year old teenager."

"Fifteen is a child." She leaned her head other hand that was propped up by the elbow on the bed. "She probably has a million questions but just doesn't know how to ask them or where to start."

He rolled his eyes. "Were you that way when we met?"

She smiled and shuffled on the bed as she sat up. "I," she began as she carefully sat saddle style on his black jogger-covered lap and leaned her arms on his white v-neck-covered shoulders. "happen to love the mystery you bring to the table." She pulled down his mask as kissed his softly, to which he responded back to. "Give her some time and be patient with her."

"You had better be clean."

"Ah, Kai," she winced and held her shirt wear her heart was. "You wound me."

He rolled his eyes and smirked. "You're so damn dramatic."

"You keep wounding me!" She pouted and looked into his beautiful golden eyes. "Now kiss it better."

He furrowed his brows. "You can't be serious."

She gave him those cursed puppy dog eyes and a stupid cute little pout on her plump lips. "My handsome devil, darling~," she sang. "Please kiss it better?" She patted the area on her chest where her heart was.

He rolled his golden orbs once more and looked at her with a serious look. "You had better be clean." He repeated with more emphasis than the last time.

"I amAHHH," She yelped as he kisses her heart but also began attacking her neck and face with kisses causing her to giggle. "Kai~!" She whined playfully.

"Isn't this what you wanted, Angel? You put yourself in this position.” He commented in between one of the attack of kisses.

She only giggled and squealed in response causing a small smile to form on his face once he stopped. "Are you healed now? Is you're heart fixed and your ailments cured?"

"Yes, Doctor Overhaul," she giggled. "What about yours?"

He sighed again. "Maybe a Protege was a bad idea.”

"Maybe," she responded. "But maybe it was the best decision you ever made." She gently rubbed his shoulders which relaxed his built up tension from the situation with Aki, and with Lola sitting on him without his permission. "Give her a chance," she continued. "Be patient, give her time and don't give up hope just yet, my dark prince, my shadow knight, my deviant darling."

He rolled his eyes from all the nicknames that he secretly loved but wouldn't admit out loud.

Nonetheless she was right. Patience was key. So with that he went to sleep that night with a slight peace of mind.

The next day rolled around and he entered his office ready for the day. He saw that Lola had filled his personal candy bowl with his favorite chocolates and wrote a note that was placed next to the bowl.

"Patience is Key to Unlocking New Opportunities." It read causing him to roll his eyes with a smirk under his mask. Her love for witty puns and dad jokes never goes unoticed. He still remembers her words when she was confronted about it: "It's poetry."

He sat in his chair and began looking through the stacks of paperwork he dreaded looking at most of the time.

It took Aki about an hour to show up. Which was the usual time of when she did. She had half of her hair up in two messy buns and wore a black fitted turtleneck with black joggers and black ankle socks.

"Good morning," she said with a bow.

"Morning," he replied back.

"May I come in?"

"Are you clean?"

"I told you yesterday, I shower twice a day. Also heard you're a super clean person and hates germs so I scrubbed myself four times to be on the safe side."

He looked up at her with still a bored expression in his eyes but he was impressed nonetheless. "You may enter."

She walked in. "I have entered the threshold!"

He rolled his eyes at her theatrics. "Sit down, if you want. Don't be so loud."

"Understood," she spoke quieter and sat on the chair. "So." She began.

"So." He responded back.

"What should I address you as?" She asked curiously.

"Overhaul." He responded.

"No, no," she cringed. "If I am to be your protege or whatever, it should be something more formal dont cha, think?"

He blinked at her expecting her to continue.

"I hear some people around here call you Master Overhaul," she started again. "How about I call you Overhaul-Sensei. Sensei for short. And when out and about I call you Master to blend in."

Patience is Key, Patience is Me, he told himself in his head and sighed.

"Fine."

"Cool," she responded.

With that there was a knock at the doorway which displayed Lola's smiling figure and two steaming mugs in her hands. "Good Morning, darling." She looked at Aki. "Good morning, Akirei.”

"Good morning, Miss Lola." Aki replied.

"Good morning, Angel," Kai responded holding his patience with everything.

"I brought some refreshments," she smiled and walked over to the desk. "A coffee for you," she set the mug next to Kai on a coster and then set the other mug on a cost next to Aki. "And a Peppermint matcha green tea for you."

Aki smiled and bowed. "Thank you so much."

She smiled at the girl and then planted a kiss on Kai's cheek. "Good luck with work today."

"Thank you, Angel."

And with that she walked out. Once she was out of hearing distance. Kai looked at Aki with a serious look which sent shivers down her spine.

"I appreciate you being polite," Kai started, "But don't ever address someone before me ever again."

"U-understood," Ali replied and corrected herself when he gave her and even darker look. "Sensei." She finished.

"Good," he loosen up his gaze slightly. "Continue."

Aki relaxed her shoulders a little. "So uh...do I have to wear gloves and a face mask too?"

"Yes," he replied. "I'm glad we have an understanding."

"Okay," she adjusted herself in her seat. "Can they be black though?"

"You're a picky brat aren't you?"

"I'm learning from the best!"

He deadpanned. "Fine, brat."

"Do I get a bird mask too?"

"You will get a plague mask, when the time comes."

She nodded and leaned back in her seat. He took the opportunity to go back to his papers. As long as she wasn't disruptive she could sit in there. He lowered his mask and took a sip of his warm coffee behind his papers so Aki couldn't see.

"Where do I rank?" She asked again. "Am I considered the ninth bullet or am I lower? Or higher?"

He set his mug down, lifted his mask and lowered his papers looking at her. "You're in the ranks with Chronostasis and Mimic."

"Oh," she chirped. "Arrowhead and Ragdoll."

Kai lifted an eyebrow at her. Seriously?

"I don't have everyone's names down just yet...heh…"

Kai decided that that was a personal problem between her, Chrono and Mimic themselves and went back to his papers.

"So," she began again. "I think I'm done with questions for the day. I don't want to bother you too much."

"Too much?" Kai asked with sarcasm in his tone and not looking from his papers.

"Yes," she stood up "may I be dismissed."

"You may."

She bowed politely and respectful at him and made her way out.

After that, Aki came in every morning asking different questions. Only these questions where the ones that were completely and utterly useless. She hadn't asked about Yakuza or Hassaikai matters after that. Only questions that made no sense whatsoever.

It was beginning to really bother him.

"What's your favorite color?" She asked one day while in his office with the tea Lola delivered and remembered not to address Lola before he did.

"Why do you want to know something so useless, brat?"

"I didn't realize that your interests were useless, Sensei."

He deadpanned and looked at her. "Black. Purple. Gold." His tone was sarcastically bored.

"Ooh those are nice!" She beamed. "They say purple is a color for royalty, luxury, wisdom and creativity."

He hummed in response as he wrote something down on a sheet of paperwork only half focused to what she was saying.

"But it could also mean arrogance, extravagance, immaturity and impracticality." She sipped her tea. "Also its known to be most people who are gay favorite colors."

He lifted an eyebrow and eyed the raven-haired girl seriously. "What are you implying?'

"Nothing," she responded innocently. "Just some fun facts."

"I'm not having fun," he replied bluntly causing her to let out a snicker at his comment.

"Well why don't you ask some questions instead?"

He scoffed. "I'm not playing your game, brat."

"It's not a game!" she protested with a chuckle. "I'll even give you time to think of questions to ask."

He sighed dropping his arm slightly so he could look at her from behind the paper. He remembered Lola's little message on the piece of paper next to his almost empty candy bowl: "Patience is Key."

"If I'm going to ask you questions, then you're going to get extremely important ones not useless ones like the color of your toothbrush. Understood, brat?"

Aki beamed. "Understood, Sensei."

~~~

Part 2? Maybe? Lemme know! Also tell me if I'm writing his ass wRONG. I don't mind the constructive criticism! Hope you enjoy!

#overhaul x oc #overhaul imagines #bnha overhaul #overhaul #overhaul x reader #chisaki kai #kai chisaki #chisaki kai x reader #bnha imagines #bnha oc #bnha fanfiction #bnha au #bnha headcanons #shie hassaikai #shie Hassaikai au

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hungline · 5 years

Note

Taekoook, will you be my valentine 💜💖 + Greek mythology

wings and wine

pairing: taekook

genre: angst, fluff, greek mythology au, pre-slash au, rated pg13

warnings: dionysus!kook, hermes!tae, mentions of alcohol, zeus

a/n: jey, i don’t think you know what monster you unleashed within me, but i LOVE mythology so thank you for this prompt, u angel

words: 1521

summary: He may have been the patron god of tricksters and thieves, but at least he was honest and Jeongguk found that to be the most important fact of all.

+ tag list: @jooneos @kirtikagarg @disrespectfulkookies @roseyjongdae @reeneryu @joonsvalentine @smoochkook ✨

When Jeongguk is made an Olympian, he decides that Hermes is the only god he can trust as far as he can throw him.

He may be new to the Olympian scene, but he understands a lot more than he lets on.

Hera cannot stand the sight of him and he burns to strike her down for what she did to his mother. Ares is too busy drowning in blood to spend any kind of time with him when the humans keep invoking his name to fight their wars for them. Apollo hides behind smiles that do not reach his eyes and flattery that makes Jeongguk’s skin crawl while Artemis is simply cold, only caring about her brother and her hunters. Athena makes him feel small with nothing but a glance from her blank, gray eyes and Hephaestus is sincere but easily distracted by his inventions and his wife. Aphrodite only approaches him when she wants something from him. Poseidon is as arctic as the sea and often acts as if Jeongguk doesn’t exist. Demeter can only focus on the harvest and the situation with her daughter, Kore, lest she runs wild with madness.

Hermes claps him on the shoulder and grins at him as his domain finishes settling into him, the weight of thousands of new offerings and followers resting within him. When he offers his congratulations, Jeongguk knows that he truly means what he says. Despite being the god of tricksters, thieves, and travelers, Hermes is the most straightforward and honest of all the Olympians.

Once Jeongguk’s domain has been officially proclaimed, Zeus barely spares him a glance, his disappointment in Jeongguk all too clear.

Jeongguk doesn’t understand why this is the case since gods do not choose their domains. Their domains choose them. How Zeus ever ended up “cheating” his brothers out of their deal to divide between sky, sea, and earth, Jeongguk doesn’t know and his self-preservation is strong enough to keep him from asking.

He has always belonged to wine, winemaking, and festivities, but now he also belongs to pleasure and theatre. Jeongguk knows that many of the other gods have always seen him as nothing but a foolish drunk and while he can feel the buzz of his power tingling near his core, he does his best to not draw attention to the rest of his specialties. There is something else residing within him, something hidden but present in his power as he explores it. Its jagged edges mesh with the smoothness of Jeongguk’s call on wine yet it does not reveal itself to him no matter how much he prods at it.

He takes the throne that Hestia gave up for him and finds himself itching to return to his forests and the large cities he has always found himself inexplicably drawn to. He wants to go down and mingle with the humans, bringing them joy and a way to forget their troubles by losing themselves in drink and dance. There is much war and death but birth and life as well. All of it should be celebrated; every victory, every loss, and every important event.

During Jeongguk’s first Olympian meeting, nothing of interest takes place. He is bored within a few minutes and finds his gaze drifting towards Hermes.

Hermes spares him a glance only once during the meeting but it is enough to power Jeongguk through the rest of the hours spent bored out of his mind.

As soon as they are free to do so, Jeongguk leaves Mount Olympus and returns to his forest, following a well-traveled path that will lead him straight into the heart of the forest. He and Pan have a drinking contest to hold between themselves and the Council of Cloven Elders. Pan is certain that he can outdrink Silenus and Jeongguk is certain that they are both fools if they believe they can last in a drinking contest against him.

He pauses as the flutter of wings suddenly erupts behind him, a golden light shimmering across the flora of the woods.

“Message for me already?” Jeongguk asks, not daring to turn around until the golden light has died down around him.

Hermes is smirking when their gazes meet, his black hair tousled in waves that frame his face beautifully. He may not be considered as attractive as Apollo or Aphrodite but Jeongguk knows beauty when he sees it and Hermes is it.

“No. More of a warning from me,” Hermes says.

Jeongguk pauses, brow crumpling with confusion. “Why would you be warning me?”

“You may not know it yet, but you carry a cruel and dangerous power with you,” Hermes declares, his expression devoid of his usual humor. “You need to be careful or that power will turn against you.”

“What power?”

Hermes tilts his head to the side, drawing closer as he lowers his voice. Just because no one is there doesn’t mean someone isn’t listening in after all. “Madness. You carry it within you and you will use it against humans in the future. Apollo’s Oracle told me herself.”

Jeongguk blinks, unsure of what to say or do. Birds chirp in the surrounding trees, the wind picking up suddenly around them so leaves begin to swirl in the air. It smells of wild berries and the bark of the trees but none of that is enough to distract Jeongguk from the situation at hand.

“Why would she tell you that? Why do you even care?” Jeongguk finally manages to ask, his voice rough.

Hermes smiles at him but it is cold and devoid of its usual mischief. “I like humans. I didn’t learn medicine and fight the illnesses Pandora’s Box unleashed for nothing. I don’t want to have to deal with you if you end up driving humans insane, Dionysus. We’re family after all.”

Jeongguk shivers despite himself. “And we are also not family as well. I can understand why you would want to protect humanity, but that doesn’t give me any reason to believe you. You could just be saying this to intimidate me into submission. You may be the most honest of all the Olympians, but that does not mean you never lie.”

“Will giving you my true name be enough to convince you that I speak nothing but the truth?” Hermes asks after another moment has passed.

“You would do that?” Jeongguk splutters. “For humans, you would do that?”

Shocked does not begin to cover what Jeongguk feels at that moment. True names are not meant to be given lightly. Having another being’s true name gives someone power over them, a power the being cannot easily resist. Jeongguk knows of only one being in the world who is unaffected by the power of their true name and that is Typhon, the father of all monsters.

For Hermes to be offering his true name in exchange for Jeongguk’s restraint must mean that this is devastatingly important.

Hermes steps forward and cups a hand around his jaw, dipping down until his lips are brushing against the shell of Jeongguk’s ear. His hot breath sends shivers down his spine but Jeongguk ignores his inappropriate response to the older god’s proximity and braces himself. The weight of a god’s true name is no laughing matter. Jeongguk will need all his strength to not show any outward signs of strain when Hermes shares his name.

“Taehyung,” Hermes murmurs quietly, so quiet that Jeongguk has to strain to hear him correctly.

It feels like the wind has been knocked out of his lungs, his feet have been swept out from underneath him and he has collided head-first with stone. His vision blurs for a moment, his shoulder sagging underneath the sudden heavy pressure but it passes after a few seconds have passed and Jeongguk finds himself leaning against Taehyung’s side to stay upright.

“You mean it then,” Jeongguk groans, trying to blink away the spots in his vision. “I could tell if you were lying.”

“You could do a lot worse to me,” Taehyung responds. “You have my name now but I know you won’t abuse it.”

Jeongguk sways dangerously, his head pounding with the aftershocks of receiving a true name. “Why would you do that for them?”

Taehyung shrugs, stepping back now that Jeongguk is able to stand on his own. “They’re worth it.”

He disappears within the next second, Jeongguk having enough sense to close his eyes before Taehyung shows his true godly form. Golden light bathes his closed eyelids but he does not open them again until the light has returned to its normal yellow glow and Jeongguk can no longer feel the presence of another powerful being.

“I can tell this is going to end horribly,” Jeongguk mutters to himself as he continues on the path he was taking earlier. “But I’ll do my best to not harm them. Only for you, Taehyung.”

And with that solemn promise now having been made, Jeongguk allows himself to focus on less trivial matters such as the drinking contest he is going to win in a landslide as soon as he gets his hands on Pan.

#taekook #vkook #bangtanxm #btsbookclub #btswritingcafe #btswriterscollective #kwritersworldnet #kwordsmiths #bts #angst #fluff #p:taehyung/jeongguk #f:w&w #valentine 2020 prompts #m: fic #ask #softjeon #request #jey

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ayellowcurtain · 5 years

Text

can you do a duck where lucas inherits his mother’s bipolar/mental illness and like eliott yann etc start seeing symptoms maybe lucas is having like HIGH highs and everything is amazing and eliot is like 👀 but everyone brushes it off and then a low point comes along and mahon/yann starts suspecting as well ands then it’s like a day of happy and then a jump off boat level episode except sad and dangerous?

can u please write something about how lucas loves being held,kissed and picked up by his mec...bc it’d reduce the global warming, thank you so much

-------------------------------------------------

Eliott thought that he was an expert at knowing if someone has bipolar disorder. His experiences would make him recognize someone or at least symptoms from a mile away, but he was wrong. Or he was too busy with himself to see what was right in front of him.

If someone asked for an honest answer, Eliott would say he actually enjoys his highs way too much so, whenever Lucas was being a little too high he never thought it was a symptom, that was just sort of how Lucas is constantly. Full of energy and wild ideas. And they’re crazy about each other so having sex for hours and hours and hours would never be a problem between them.

He started noticing it when their relationship started to feel like the worst roller coaster he could ever ride and Lucas was right by his side, having his highs and lows.

It became too much and Eliott needed some days away to recover and be alone. He made up a last-minute trip to see his parents and left Lucas behind. It had only been a few hours and he received the first text from Yann.

to Eliott: What’s going on? Where are you?

to Yann: On the train, going to visit my parents for the weekend. Why?

To Eliott: I don’t know...Lucas said you two broke up.

Eliott feels his heart contracting way too much inside his chest. They didn’t break up, obviously, but he can see how Lucas thought that after their conversation. Eliott said he wasn’t feeling ok, Lucas had been crying about anything for the last week and he started again when Eliott told him he was going away for the weekend, without Lucas. They usually go everywhere together so to not invite Lucas was a conscious decision he made and he saw that Lucas was hurt because of it.

His phone locked while he got lost thinking about a crying Lucas that he left behind.

to Yann: We didn’t break up, I just needed to come to my parents alone. If you can, please check on Lucas for me this weekend? I’ll be back on Monday.

To Eliott: ...Ok…

Now he’s worried. Maybe it was a mistake to just leave like that, without an explanation or without properly talking to Lucas about what he’s been worrying about. Eliott hates when people try to give him advice about his mental health when he didn’t ask for it so he couldn’t say to Lucas: you should go see a doctor.

He’s not in his perfect state of mind either, so he just thought it was for the best to step back for a few days. Maybe he was being selfish and his lack of tact to deal with Lucas’ emotions would only make it worse for the other one, but his mind was still deciding to stay selfish when he put his phone on airplane mode until he was back in Paris to deal with Lucas. He would have a few days to think on how to say it to Lucas that he should also look for a treatment.

The time doesn’t pass fast enough, the train seems to be taking double the time to do the same trip back to Paris.

How could you be so fucking dumb? Lucas probably hates you now. And Yann too and all the others. You’ll be lucky if they let you see him.

Eliott knows it won’t work, but he tries calling Lucas, again and again, he hears the voice mail and hangs up without leaving a message. The train finally stops and he’s the first one to get out, holding the shoulder strap of his backpack tighter, running out of the station.

While he’s inside the taxi he checks his phone again, all the unread messages from the weekend that he only replied two hours ago weren’t read yet, but from what he can understand from Manon’s and Yann’s messages, Lucas is probably in the flat, probably surrounded by all his friends.

Lucas hasn’t read his messages yet, but Eliott sends another one anyway.

to Lucas: I love you and I’m sorry. I’m on my way to the flat now.

He’s ready to wait for as long as they let them outside, ringing the bell. They probably expect him to give up at some point if they ignored him, but he needs to see Lucas right now.

He puts his backpack on the floor, looking up, the balcony door is open, the white curtain floating outside with the wind. Eliott finally rings the bell, biting his nails, thinking on what he’ll say the one second he’ll have before whoever picks up the intercom realizes that it’s him outside.

Whoever it is, Eliott doesn’t even let them say hi.

“Hey, hm, it’s Eliott-” He hears the door unlocking and he looks at it. They let them in. He grabs his bag and rushes upstairs before they can change their minds.

The door is already open and Manon is there, holding it for him.

“He was asking for you, so…” She says like she’s reading his mind about why they would let him see Lucas after everything that happened this weekend.

“Thank you…” He passes by her, looking for his boyfriend already. The common areas are empty and weirdly quiet, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing else matters when he finally sees Lucas in the hall, using some comfortable clothes, but he doesn’t look too happy. He’s so different from the Lucas that Eliott left three days ago.

There’s no light in his eyes, he looks at Eliott like he doesn’t feel a thing for him, but he’s there and he was asking for Eliott so he can’t hate him...

Eliott can’t let Lucas hate him or just don’t care about him. He made a mistake and he’ll fix everything for his boyfriend. Lucas stays still as Eliott walks to him, bending down just enough to hug him by the waist, nuzzling against his neck and Lucas finally responds, wrapping his arms around Eliott’s neck, turning his face and burying his nose on his temple.

“Putain, I love you so much, Lucas.” He whispers against the warm skin of his neck and Lucas slowly climbs on him and Eliott holds him tighter, walking to his bedroom.

Yann and Mika are still there and Eliott looks at them just for a second, noticing the death stare from Yann, but they’ll talk later, not now. Mika gently pushes Yann out of the bedroom and Eliott waits for them to be out to lock the door, taking Lucas to his bed, cuddling with him, running his fingers through his hair, saying that he’ll be ok.

Maybe he’s being pretentious, but he knows how much Lucas likes his touch and to be as close to him as he can, so today he just hopes it’ll make Lucas feel just a little bit better, to have him around, holding him tightly.

#skam france #elu fic #eliott demaury #Lucas Lallemant #elu

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finita--la--commedia · 5 years

Note

hello! back again to ask about Marina Tsvetaeva. I haven't read any of her work, and was wondering whether you still think starting with her letters would be best? (again, haven't read anything of hers)! If so, what letters would you specifically suggest to start with? otherwise, if u think beginning with some of her other work would be better - pls tell me what! thank you so much. Always in awe of your blog. many blessings x

[ it is going to be a lengthy post ]

Letters. Still – letters. Reading them, you will be able to see and feel her astounding, absolutely unique, “undressed” and tormented Soul and with that, to truly understand and feel through, – her prose and poetry … In her case, it is important.Everything about Tsvetaeva, you must feel and hear. Never “read” or, God forbid, - ”understand”. Here is the reference to the book of her letters on Goodreads:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/283216.The_Letters_of_Marina_Tsvetaeva?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=fvbRr8HRYi&rank=2It contains 800 letters. I never read that translation and I pray to God, - it is good. You don’t have to read all of them, I will give you the list of the correspondents with the commentaries below, so you knew who those people were. Also, you can read the letters and other works, like poetry, at the same time. Why not ?But…. the letters – first 😊 The spelling of the names may slightly vary in that book. Note that all those letters she wrote while being married. 1. To Nikolay Gronsky (1909-1934). A must read. They met in Spring of 1928, in Paris. Gronsky was 18 and Tsvetaeva – 36. A young talented poet, he was later tragically killed in a metro accident: hit by a subway car in the Paris metro, he was just 25. A suspiciously strange accident, indeed …. Yet, Tsvetaeva always believed it was, in fact – “an accident”. After he died, at the time, when their communications were already over, Tsvetaeva dedicated him a cycle of poems “Gravestone”:“Where did you go ? … Your soul —where did it go ? … Your face — where did it go ? Your face, your warmth,your shoulder — where did it go ?”

They took long walks and exchanged letters, which indicate that Tsvetaeva had a deeper attachment than that of a poetic master to a pupil, but by the late Autumn, their communication faded away … From her letter to him:“… a thirst for THAT OTHER self —not of the world of ideas,but of the chaos of hands and lips.

A thirst for the secret self.

The last self.

The imaginary self …”You can also read her letters to Pasternak, but I deeply dislike him as a person … for what he did to Tsvetaeva and what he did not do for her daughter and her son, because he was simply a disgusting coward. I do believe that Pasternak hugely contributed to what happened to her whole family, its tragedy and her suicide. By the way, the rope Tsvetaeva hanged herself on, was accidentally, given by Pasternak, when she needed to wrap her suitcase when evacuating. It is painful to read her Love letters to him, knowing all that and more. She was trustful and naïve. Not because she was a fool, but because she so strongly and stubbornly wanted to believe in the goodness of the humanity when there was and is – none.

2. To Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926)Her letters to Rilke are all over the Internet I gave you the link to their correspondence in my previous reply to you. They never met, but wrote to each other intensely from May 1926 until Rilke’s abrupt death in December of leukemia. During that correspondence, Tsvetaeva fell in Love with him. She was 34 and he was 51.

Quotes from her letters to him:“For my soul is well-bred.” “Rainer, dusk is falling, I love you.”“Beloved, come to me often in my dreams. No, not that. Live in my dreams. Now you have a right to wish and to fulfill your wishes”3. To Alexander Bakhrah (1902-1977)He was 20, she was 31. At that time, he was just a young critiс Tsvetaeva had never met. She lived in Chekhia (Czechoslovakia) and he – in Berlin. She responded to his critical article on her poem and the epistolary affair had started. He published all her Love letters to him only in 1960 … “modestly” cut 1/3 out of them… 19 letters (1923), one (1924) and one (1928), when Love was already gone. Later those letters were re-published in full. No letters from him were saved.He caught her interest … and just like with Vishnyak and Pasternak before, and with Rilke, Shteiger, – later, she poured out at him all her immensity … And just like with everyone listed above, he simply couldn’t handle it.Then she met and fell in Love with someone else, in the real life: with Konstantin Rodzevich and this correspondence, as well as her Love to Bakhrah, – ended. Quotes from the letters to Bakhrah:“You have not understood my letter. You didn’t read it carefully. You didn’t take in my tenderness, nor my care, nor my human pain for you. You didn’t even understand me in myself: “and does it really matter - who is hurt ?! - to experience someone’s pain as your own – all of it you didn’t get .”“I cannot love myself, because I love; and don’t want to, because I love him.”4. To Konstantin Rodzevich (1895-1988)She was 28 and he was 31. They met in 1923 in Prague.Years later, Tsvetaeva confessed that Konstantin Rodzevich was her only true Love in life: the man who cared less about her poetry and till the very old age never understood what she Loved him for. He believed that she created a person he was not and fell in Love with that imaginary hero. Many thought and still do that the son she gave a birth to in 1925 was from him. The quote from her letter to him:“I’ve loved everything, I knew how to love everything except the other, the other who was alive. The other has always bothered me; it was a wall against which I broke, I didn’t know how to live with the living. Hence my feeling that I was not a woman but a Soul.You simply have loved me … I told you: there is a Soul. You said: there is a Life.”5. To Abram (Abraham) Vishnyak (1893-1944)I told you about him and Tsvetaeva in my previous reply. She published her letters to him and one of his in “Florentine nights. Nine Letters with a Tenth Kept Back and an Eleventh Received”.Quotes from her letters to him:“What is it to forget a human being ? - It is to forget what one suffered through him …”“Such things do not hurt me any longer, you accustomed me to them, you and everyone else …”“My total forgetfulness and my absolute failure to recognize you today are but your absolute presence and my total absorption of yesterday. As much as you were — as much you are no longer. The absolute presence in reverse. Such a presence cannot but become such an absence. Everything yesterday, nothing today.”“You make me soft (humanize, feminize, animalize) like fur.”“All these last years, my life has been so different, so hard, so icy that now I can only raise my shoulders and my eyebrows: is this me ?You soften me (make me more human, more woman, more animal) as fur does.”5. To Anatoly Shteiger (1907-1944). An absolutely must read. She was 44 and he was 29. There are 30 letters of hers saved to him from 1936 and only one to her, plus some excerpts she saved in her notes and as references to them in her letters to him. He was a young Russian emigrant-poet who lived in Switzerland, I posted a couple of quotes from his poems here. When they started an extensive correspondence, Tsvetaeva lived in Paris. A personal meeting between them took place only briefly before the correspondence had started, then he wrote her a deeply-confessional 16-pages letter to which she responded and this is how it started. She fell in Love with him. In the last, the only saved letter, he reminded her that in that first long confessional letter he tried very hard to explain to her that he was homosexual. She did not understand, didn’t catch it or, rather, what I think and believe, – she did not want to understand or catch. What she saw was only this: a young, broken-hearted man from a previous relationship, who is very ill with a tuberculosis, about to have a lung surgery and who came to her for a help. So she ran to help him, fell in Love, because she felt being needed. This what Tsvetaeva was about … As I say and write about myself: “I am there where I am needed. Make me believe I am needed … and my Soul will be yours … ”. She was the same. Quotes from her letters to him:

“I am longing for you. Never — without you. As — to be longing for a bread — means to be taken by thoughts about it. To be longing without a bread — means to be swallowed by it. Never in my life I’ve been longing – without a person. One thing — an overflow, another — emptiness. I will never be empty — by you. — I hope. (I think, I have never been empty even for a second).”

“And whether you like it or not, I already took you within, where I take everything cherished, without even contemplation, seeing it already within. You are my capture and catch, like today’s remnant of a Roman viaduct, with the dawn that breaks through and plunges in more faithfully and more eternally than the river Loing, into which it forever gazes at itself.”“But you, at certain moments, are I — to the point of strangeness”“Now I am thinking about you: thinking — you”“Your letter has gored my icy scurf, it opened up my own vibrant abyss – where you immediately and fully have engulfed yourself.”“I tell you in advance – whatever you will be, when you enter through my door, – I will be loving you anyway, because I love you already, because – the miracle has happened – and this is only about the degree of pain – the better you will be – the worse it will be – to me.”When she, finally understood the reason, why he couldn’t return her Love …. she wrote him a bitter and hurtful letter to which he responded:“Yes, you can be colder than a star if you want. I was always afraid of it.”In that last, the only saved letter, the young Shteiger with a wisdom of an old man, pointed out, in a form of a light and polite accusation, as a plain sad fact, at one of the very important characteristics of Tsvetaeva, that accompanied all to one of her relationships: all men that she ever Loved – she simply created in her exceptional unique imagination. She had to … to bring them closer to the level of the richness, vastness and the immensity of her Soul. But there were consequences: soon or later, that “image” fell off … So, Shteiger wrote to her: “You are so “powerful” and “rich”, you recreate the people you meet in your own way, but when their real, authentic image comes out, after all, – you get astonished of the vanity of those on who that “gleam” of yours is no longer applied by you…But what does the Person might feel when that created “image” of yours is no longer applied on him by you ? After you created it, enjoyed it and then – stop seeing it in him ?” . It is so very true. I do the same … From her last letters to him:“… I loved you as who I am, which is difficult to explain … ““That was a blow to my chest (in which you resided) and, if I did not fall down — then only because no human force can knock me flat any more, because I no longer permit this to humans, because I will die — standing up”“How many times ? Don’t I know that everything ends; don’t I believe that this (what is in me for you) will end one day, will ease me that I will think out of you: will become again an empty – bleak – and roomy house: domaine ?”She dedicated a cycle of poems to him “Poems To Orphans”, the 4 epigraph lines, only he could understand: “Baby walked along the road Shivering and turning blue An old woman walked that road She took pity on the orphan” Anatoly Shteiger will die of tuberculosis, in 1944 at the age of 37. So, what do you think ? Worth reading her letters first ? ***************************Now, prose and poetry.I can only recommend from what has been translated. If you spoke Russian, my recommendations would have been different. For example, I would have strongly suggested you to read her “Collated notes” and “Diary prose” she kept most of her life, but neither one of them has been translated. Some bits and pieces in various books, strangely translated as her “diaries” (!?!). Poetry.The problem with her poetry is the translation. She created words, which are untranslatable, therefore, in translation, you only get the meaning of what she wrote and in many cases, it is badly mistranslated, misinterpreted. Another thing, that she had an absolute pitch and considered the music her first language. You need to listen to her poetry in Russian to understand what she was saying in a poem … it is absolutely untranslatable. Don’t read anything translated by Elaine Feinstein. There is a special place in Hell for translators like her. She will go straight there, already reserved. Here is my short review of just 3 lines of Tsvetaeva, someone quoted, you will get an idea how bad her translations are: https://finita--la--commedia.tumblr.com/post/187285356964/your-name-is-a-kiss-of-snow-a-gulp-of-icy-springThe best translations, of her poetry, by my opinion, surprisingly, available free, on the Internet, by Ilya Shabat, a huge collection:http://lib.ru/POEZIQ/CWETAEWA/sbornik_engl.txtJust pick, randomly – any. Here is the pdf book with some of her poems I would also recommend:http://www.sumizdat.org/To_you_in_10_decades.pdfProse.

Unfortunately, I could only find one work translated into English, it is worth reading:“The Letter to Amazon” – 13 pages. You can download pdf file here, the button in the right corner, on top:https://www.researchgate.net/publication/319316122_LETTER_TO_AN_AMAZON_BY_MARINA_TSVETAEVAQuotes:“Listen to me, you do not have to respond to me, you have to just listen. This is a wound that I inflict right at your heart, at the heart of your cause, of your belief, of your body, of your heart.”“Weeping willow ! Inconsolable willow ! Willow – the body and soul of women ! Inconsolable neck of willow.”“In my youth I was quick to say to myself: I always fear letting go of the wave rising from me and carrying me to another. I always fear that I will not love anymore, that I will not learn anything anymore. But I am no longer young and I have learned to let go of almost everything – irretrievably”There is a semi-autobiographical story I would also recommend you to read, I think there is a translation: “The Tale of Sonechka”Quote:“– Marina, do you think God will forgive me for having been kissed so much ? – Do you think God counted ? – I didn’t count either.” Well … uhhhh …. let me know if you have more questions about her works, life, a family or about the correspondents I have listed above for each has a personal story.

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professor-maka · 5 years

Note

#14 pls! :D “I come to the library every day to ‘study’ but really I’m just watching Netflix over your shoulder and I’m really invested in this series and the day we’re supposed to be watching the season finale you’re not there and I??? Feel personally betrayed??”

Ask and you shall receive. ❤️ I hope you like!

Thanks to @sahdah and @macabremermaid for the eyes.

—

“HBO and Chill”

She can’t afford HBO, not making her own way through school, so Maka had never really worried what shows it airs. Why pine for what you can’t afford?

But then, he’d changed all that, the white haired kid who goes to the library to study every Sunday night, like clockwork. Sometimes he comes at 6, and sometimes he rolls in at 8,but he’s always there, just like her. But unlike her, he always takes a break to stream on his laptop.

The first night, Maka had been pissed—sure it isn’t a quiet study floor, but who streams in thelibrary without headphones? She’d been fuming but also curious. Game of Thrones? She’d read the books—had wished she could watch the series—but alas!

Fuming gave way to interest, and instead of confronting him like she thought about during the first 15 minutes, Maka had found herself watching over his shoulder as hequeued up two more episodes that night, and, reading abandoned for the evening, she found herself wondering when the hell she was going to get to watch more.

Maka had been damn near lowering herself to ask her shithead papa for the gift of HBO, sulking in the library as she did her reading and itched for more in the saga of Starks andLannisters, when her thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of someone moving in to occupy the table in front of hers, the same table she claims every Sunday. She nearly gasped when she realized it was him again, the white hairedboy from the previous Sunday, the one with HBO, the same one she’d seen around campus and in the back of a few of her classes, silent as as stone.

Maybe he’d watch again, she thought. She hoped. Although, Maka reminded herself, he’d surely be ahead by now and she has always hated skipping episodes. Disappointment hadflooded her as she poked her nose back into her book and there was nothing but yawning quiet, the scratch of her pen, the click of his keys. And then, she heard it. The theme song! And it was… the next episode!

She barely pretended to read that time as he watched three more episodes straight.

That had been months ago, early in the semester, and now, the semester is nearly at an end and so is the series and she can’t wait! Because by some miracle, he clearly only watches at the library on Sunday nights, right when she’s there to see it, and Maka has become invested.

The finale is tonightand she isn’t even pretending to study, she’s so wound. She needs to know what happens. The show has far outpaced the books and waiting is torture,but Maka knows he’ll be here by 9 to livestream like he has been for weeks.Well, maybe she should at least make a stab at studying. Sure she’s got As sofar in her classes, but finals still matter.

Nine o’clock hits and he’s not there. He’s never not there, not all semester, so where is he?

Ten PM hits and she’s inthe first stage of grief, mourning the loss of her livestream. But surely he’llshow and stream, even if it’s a little late. Eleven hits and with it comes the anger. Why now? Why tonight? How dare he string her along through 8 seasons only to deny her the finale!

Fists clenched, Maka makes a decision. Maybe not the most rational decision, but she’s more than a little desperate. Apparently, laptop boy is friends with Blake—she knows because she’d seen them playing one on one together as she passed the courts afew times—so she can find out where he lives or his number or something and—and—

Well, she doesn’t know, but desperate times, desperate, desperate times.

Clicking Blake’s speed dial on her cell, Maka rolls her eyes at his answers of, “Yo, this is your godspeaking, whatcha want?” That being a god brother makes him her actual god ishis personal joke; only he finds it funny.

“I need—a favor.” She sounds more sheepish than she means to, feels silly, almost hangs up, but—

“Sure, shoot, anything for my favorite minion.”

“Uh, so, eh—“ she stammers through his guffaw at her inability to spit it the fuck outalready. But she’s Maka Albarn and if she’s anything, she’s brave, so she pushes on. “That, uh, weird kid with the white hair you play basketball with—“

“Who, Eater? What, you got a thing for him or—“

“Nooo, he just—wait, his name is Eater?”

The guffaw is louder this time. “Nah, not his name name, it’s just what I like to call my newest minion, keep up.”

“And I thought BlackStar was bad,” she mutters, face flaming. Eater. Knowing Blake, she tells herself she doesn’t want to know.

“Yeah, whatever, anyway, Maks, what do you want with my boy Soul? Never pegged you for being into the emo type but, like, no judgement.”

Well, Soul isn’t so bad a name. She finds she likes it. Much better than Eater, anyway.

“I’m not into anyone.” She manages not to snap even if she’s seething in mortification. “He—uh—forgot something at the library and I wanted to try to get ahold of him to—“

“Yeah, yeah, alright,I’ll text you his contact, gotta go, they set up the beer pong table, laterloser.”

Black Star will be BlackStar. At least he texts her the contact, and of course it’s under Eater. Figures, but whatever, she just needs to find out why the hell he ditched her.

She’s already pressed to call and let it ring several times when she realizes all at once she has absolutely zero business bothering him. Because, sure, he’d strung her along like a kitten with a string, laying out all 8 seasons before her like a buffet of medieval shenanigans, but it’s not like he’d done it on purpose.

The end call button gets pushed so fast it might have been the key to stopping the apocalypse. Really, it sort of is. Maka drops her phone on the table like a hot potato and lets the shame wash over her—how could she let sensationalized, bawdy medieval television get such a grip on her?

Her phone vibrates and she scoops it up, craving a distraction from her own silliness.

uh do i no u —the text reads.

No, he certainly doesn’t. Maka has no idea what to do but she can’t not answer, it would be rude, so she types back:

Not really. Blake gaveme your number.

ummm okay why — he responds after a pause.

Why? She can’t exactly tell the truth but she doesn’t like lying, either.

I was worried when you didn’t show up at the library. You’re always there on Sundays at the table infront of mine. Sorry.

It’s the truth, just not all of it. Because she does feel like they’ve bonded over Game ofThrones watching it together every week, and she’s overheard phone calls with his parents and his brother and she’s gotten to know quite a lot about him. Gods, she feels like a stalker, but— but—! He’d invaded her library time, not the other way around! And he’s the one who breaks rules to talk on his cell—he’s lucky she hasn’t reported him! And—

The vibration startles her out of her spiral.

maka shit im sorry im sick running 104 was gonna go set my alarm but slept thru its the finale im sorry gimme a sec ill b there

What. The hell.

He knows her name? And that she’s been watching? And—he’s sick—and—

Don’t you move! 104 is dangerous where do you live? I’ll be right there.

Even as she thoughtlessly hits send she regrets it because what is she doing? He’s going to block her or ignore her or tell her to fuck off, or what if he’s theone who’s actually a stalker—

Vibration. It’s an address, for an apartment complex next to campus.

Be right there. Her fingers send it out before she can even think—he knows her name, he sent her his address, maybe he’s a stalker serial killer?

But she’d called him. Also like a stalker. So it makes no sense and what even is she doing with her life?

For about half a second, Maka considers blocking his number and going home, never to enter the library on a Sunday night again. But he’s running a 104 fever; he might need help!And—she’s not a coward and she’s fully capable of kicking ass if she must. AND—the Game of Thrones finale is at his beck and call.

That’s the clincher, so she packs her things and makes her way across campus. It’s nearly midnight, so Maka keeps to well lit walks, and it isn’t long before she’s at his door. She knocks and hears coughing and shuffling and then he’s opening the door, looking bedraggled in plaid pajama pants and a ratty band tee, dark smudges under his eyes, his pale hair sticking up every which way. Well, the last part isn’t sofar off from his normal, anyway, but he looks sort of pathetic with his fuzzy blue blanket over his shoulders. Endearingly so.

“Uh, so,” she says, fidgeting with the strap of her bag on her shoulder and looking at his mouth to avoid his eyes.

“You can—uh—come in.” He sounds nervous even past the unusual scratchiness of his voice, but steps back, so she steps in. He closes the door behind her and she notices he’s got a nest of blankets on his big leather couch. She’s pretty sure she can hear an episode of Chopped somewhere in the background.

“Lay down.” Maka finally takes charge, tired of them both standing so awkwardly. “You have tea?”.

He just blinks at her for a minute, shakes his head, then looks between the couch and the kitchen. “Uh, sure, I can make—“

“Nooo!” she cuts himoff. “For you. I’ll make it.”

“Maka, you don’t have to—“ it’s the first time she’s ever heard him say her name and it startles her, especially because she sort of likes it.

“I know, but I want to.Help, I mean. So lay down.” She doesn’t give him the chance to protest, just walks into his kitchen and begins opening cabinets.

“Furthest cabinet on the left,” she hears his voice call out from the living room. “Cups in the dishwasher.”

She finds the tea (loose leaf! She doesn’t expect that!) and cups and sets the electric kettle on the counter below the tea cabinet to boil.

Several minutes later,she’s got two steaming cups of green tea with an herbal blend, and she walks them out to the living room. Soul has neatened the couch and is sitting up, leaving room on the other side. His eyes are closed and he’s snoring softly. Poor boy looks pathetic, flushed and droopy. Maka sets down a tea cup on the coffee table in front of him, sets the second on the other side, and sits across from him on the couch. She means to let him rest but it’s so awkwardsitting with a sleeping not quite stranger that she clears her throat nervously.

Startling awake, he looks at her, blinks, then seems to recall the situation,

“Uh. So. Wanna watch the finale?”

It’s at least half of why she’s here, so she nods, still feeling awkward and out of place, yet absolutely determined.

They end up commenting to each other through the episode and it’s nice. Why haven’t they ever watched it together like this? Not just Maka spying and pretending not to, but actually just—together? She could have asked and sat with him but she’s been silly.

It’s a regret, but as the episode ends, they’re both too full of feelings and ideas for it to last, and they talk about the finale and the series for a good hour before she stifles a yawn and he lets out a huge sneeze and she remembers who he is and where they are.

“So um—thanks for letting me come watch.” She’s fidgeting again, this time with the hem of her hoodie.

“‘’Course. Thanks for giving a shit and taking care of me.” His smile is wide and genuine and she could maybe melt which is—silly for a lot of reasons, really—but she also remembers—

“How do you know my name?” she blurts.

“Uh.” A nervous hand musses his hair further. “We’ve had like four classes together and you—sort of stand out.”

He’s already pink with fever but his skin goes red and—is he blushing? She blushes back at the thought.

“Oh, yeah, okay, I just—uh—didn’t realize you noticed me or anything, especially at the library.”

Gods this is embarrassing.

“You weren’t exactly subtle,” his voice is gruff as he looks at his hands.

“But—“ she stammers. “Then why didn’t you just ask me to watch with you if you knew?”

“Thought you’d say no.” His eyes are still down though they flick her way for an instant.

Would she have?

Maybe. In the wrong mood. She can be stubborn, she knows. But still.

“Well, since I’m here, you were wrong.”

“Yeah, I caught that. Guess it’s too late now, anyway. Show’s done.”

It is, isn’t it.

The thought of giving up her Sunday study tv night makes her inexplicably sad. Especially since she’s here during summer and knows he is, too, from one of his calls with his brother.

“You have Hulu?” Inspiration strikes.

“Er—Uh—yeah?” He looks confused.

“Because I don’t, and I’ve been dying to watch Hamdmaid’s Tale.”

“Oh! Yeah, that’d be—cool. We could start tonight—I mean—“

“Yeah, sounds good. You clearly shouldn’t be alone with that fever and I don’t have a final until Tuesday!”

“Cool,” he repeats, calling up the Hulu menu on the television.

For her part, Maka can’thelp a slight satisfaction at having made a new friend who can afford to stream.

#ProMa writes #soma fic #soul eater fanfic #soul eater #soul x Maka

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painandpleasure86 · 5 years

Text

Sequel of Lazing of a Sunday Afternoon: News of our World

Hiii people!! Sorry if where u live its 20 already. I have a problems to publish before. But, i hope that you enjoy my story anyways!Prequel it's here:

https://painandpleasure86.tumblr.com/post/185954894848/im-continuing-the-story-that-kate-aka

Words: +2.1K

Warning: My inexperience and my broken English lol. Oh and its fluff af.

Pairing: John x Fem!Reader

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Part 1

It's been a few weeks since you told him. It's still too early to tell about this to the rest, even if it's your parents.

In order not to get excited, they have agreed that the best thing to do is to have a blood test, in case there is really a pregnancy.

Your gynecologist must give you the order for this. So, you have an appointment on August 15.

It’s a beautiful morning, the sun shines. Spring feels closer and closer. This morning you have your children at home, Miguel is recovering from a flu-like illness and Rodrigo simply didn't want to go to the school. They don't usually let him decide that kind of thing, but that day they let him. He's six years old now. When you go to the kitchen, already dressed, you can't help but think "how big Rodri is. It seems like yesterday when he came in my arms and it was a little bean, hehe".

You arrive at the kitchen, your children having their chocolate with oatmeal cookies, your husband with his scrambled eggs, toast and a tea with milk. You go to the fridge and take out the jug of water. You serve yourself a glass full of water. Your babies see you and say "why don't you have breakfast with us mommy?" "Mommy has to have some medical check-ups and can't eat anything." He looks at you with a smile. You answer his smile with a bigger one. You go to him and hold him tight. "I love you, huh?", "Me too" he answers in your ear. They give each other a little kiss. Your older baby says "what's going on? Is there going to be a little sibling?"

You look at him surprised, because you don't know why Rodrigo says that... but your husband, seeing your puzzled face, says "I told him yesterday a little about you know what. And I think that whenever he sees us kissing, he's going to say that. Get ready," he says with smiles. That smile...

"Well, I gotta go. They will stay with Daddy. I promise I'll be back soon," you tell them. You get your handbag and your keys. You go to the door. The three of them go to you and hug you. He gives you many little kisses on the cheek. Your little ones hold your legs tightly. "Well guys, I'm not leaving forever," you say with a smile. "Well..." and they let you go unwillingly. Of course it hurts to leave Rodrigo and Miguel, but they're not alone. You close the door and behind you you hear. He says “Well... Men’s time. How about... a lot of music to dance to?" "YAAAAAAAAAAY" your kiddos say. Then you hear him play his favorite song, but you can't hear his words anymore, because you're in your car...

Before you start the car, you check the time. You're on time. Turn on the car, also the bluetooth of your car to go listening to music. You select the entire library of your cell phone and press shuffle. Dancing Queen sounds. Your smile is immense. With that joy, and the memory lived of your husband dancing on stage, backtrack and start your journey.

There is normal traffic, no traffic jams. It's 9 o'clock in the morning, so everything is quieter.

Fifteen minutes of driving, you arrive at the office. You park the car, you take the cell phone that was playing a song, you get off. You go to the corresponding waiting room, waiting to be called by your doctor...

Almost ten minutes after the agreed time on the shift, he calls you. You walk into the office.

After filling out the paperwork, he says, "Madam, the results of your annual check-up gave normal values, what happened?" You say "I think that i’m pregnant". He looks at you and says "I always told you to use the condom from the beginning" in a tone that simulates anger. He writes your order. You laugh at the discomfort and says "the thing is that I forgot... one thing led to another". He, extending the order to you, continues simulating his anger and says "later please, don't say the baby came by accident, eh!" and smiles. When you have the results, mark an appointment with me; if it's positive I'll refer you to the obstetrician". You nod and say, "Thank you doctor, see you later.”

You're very anxious to know that you're ready for testing.

As soon as you leave the office, you go to the laboratory, which is half a block from there You go into the center, withdraw a shift number. You wait a few minutes. They call you.

"Good morning", says her. You respond "Good morning" and you give her the order.

It's 10:15 in the morning. The laboratory is open until and 30. "Well, ma'am, it's still lab hours. If you have the 8-hour fast, you can wait and do it right now." Nod. After the paperwork of the health insurance, the receptionist gives you your turn and you wait for a call. Not even five minutes after you've sat down that the receptionist calls you. You enter the cubicle, you sit down. The professional would be on the side of your right arm. He asks you routine questions before a pregnancy sample (last intercourse, if you take pills, last menstrual period). Then he asks you to put your arm in the right place so he can do the extraction. Tie a rubber band over your elbow cavity. He asks you to clench your fist and squeeze hard. You do it. You look away, you're impressed to see a needle. You feel it inside you, annoying but tolerable. Moments later he says "Ready, you can open your hand..." and you turn your head in his direction again. He says "the results will be available from this afternoon, come with this order". Assentis, greet him and return home, having that cotton of your arm very strong.

You starve. So, it’s time to go home. You send a message to your husband "I'm going home! I love to everyone.😘❤️". You go to your car, get in, and put the music back in random. Don't let me down sounds, a song you once dedicated to your husband (but it's another story). You smile because of the nostalgia it gives you. And with that vibe, you start driving home.

You arrive. Your men hold you tight. "We miss you sweetie," he said, kissing you. Miguel looked with a disgusted face. And Rodrigo began to ask, "Is Mommy okay? You smile and say "yeah my love, I'm fine..."

It's nap time and you make your kids sleep, though reluctantly. It's a chance to talk to him about what happened without being suspected.

They are both sitting on one side of the bed. He looks at you, hugs you with his right arm and says "how are you?" You say to him, with his head a little low and without looking at him "I've already done the tests, I sincerely can't wait to go and get them... this is consuming me, hehehe", you say with a certain amount of anxiety. He lifts your face with the other hand so that you can see your eyes. He tells you, even having his hand on your chin, "don't get nervous. You're going to hurt the baby”. He laughs a little and continues "that home analysis for me didn't fail in this case... so, just pretend that there's a little living being among us".

You smile, with tears in your eyes "well, all right, I'll calm down... it's just that this has happened so many times, but I still can't help but get nervous. He caresses your cheek, smiling in the sweetest way. "That's my girl," he says and kisses you on the forehead. Then he hugs you, while you lay your head on his shoulder. You hug him too, very tight. “I love you, huh? You know that my feelings are truth...". He kisses your head, saying "I know it honey, I know it..." without enduring tears falling down his cheeks. Tears of happiness, not pain. Tears of feeling at home with you another day.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 2

The fate wanted that until the next day you couldn’t go to withdraw the result before. You went last minute on Friday.

You arrive hurriedly to the laboratory to remove it, the receptionist sees you with a strange face. "I've come to pick up some results. She still looks at you in surprise and says "in the name of...". You tell her your name and she looks for you in a pile of results. He finds it. She puts it in an envelope and extends it to you. "Thank you" you say a little nervous and smiling. "You're welcome, have a good night. You almost ran to the door.

When you leave the lab, you’re so eager; so you take out the paper with the result. Positive. And you have a two months pregnancy. Your husband was right.

You get home. All three receive you. "Mommy's okay?" asks Rodrigo. "Yes, my love... very well," you say, looking at your husband and smiling. Then he hugs you much harder than usual. He says in your ear "I told you so, baby...". They both endure the crying. Miguel then says "they seem very happy. I like see a happy mommy and daddy" and he hugs you even stronger. But Rodrigo suspects that there is something strange...

August 19th. The big day.

He's still sleeping in bed, very deeply. You and your children approached him very slowly. You sat on the edge of the bed, trying to be stealthy. But your children jumped energetically towards him, shouting "Happy birthday daddyyyyyyy!" You can't help but smile. He wakes up surprised, he doesn't understand the situation for a few moments. Then, hug your babies "thank you little children", as he smiles and a few tears slip out of his eyes. He looks at you and you say "Happy birthday my love" with a big smile.

After a warm family time, he says "well, I have to get up". Your babies get a little sad out of bed.

It was time to make preparations. Many of your husband's friends will come to celebrate his birthday, so you ask the three of them for help to speed up the work.

After two hours leaving everything in order, they were ready to receive the guests. Catering came on time, you didn't want your husband to cooking on his birthday. There were options for all tastes, including vegetarian snacks for that friend of your husband's with whom he always discuss.

The music began to play from that very loud moment. Both your husband and your kids started to dance with Super Freak.

The guests start to came. Your house its full of joy, music and the smell of food.

Rodrigo and his little friends were playing hide-and-seek. He can't think of a better place to hide in your study, where your analysis results were over the desk. See that strange paper for him and he runs towards you. He forgets the game. This was more important.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! What does it say on this paper? Come on, tell me!

After five minutes of insisting, you take him aside with your husband and say "you're going to have a little brother or sister soon." You didn't finish telling him, that Rodrigo begins to shout very loudly "my mommy is going to have a baby!"

Silence. Your guests saying "is it true?"

"Mommy, Daddy. Tell them," insists the boy.

You didn't want to tell them before because you've already lost a pregnancy, before Rodrigo. And that made you very bad. They preferred to wait until the fourth month was up.

But apparently things happened in a way that had to cut the tradition.

Your husbands look at you with an immense smile, hug you with one arm and with the other he goes to your belly. With that hand he touches the belly and says to everyone "Rodri is right. We didn't want to tell you yet... but good. This is the best birthday present I can have." Look at the guests. "As much the presence of all of you as that of my children, my wife and this little one who comes to change our routine," he says, looking towards your belly and caressing it gently.

After the hubbub and everyone's congratulations, the birthday then passes with great normality, with lots of loud music, screams of children playing and adults smiling. Obviously, it was not perfect... James, Rodrigo's little friend, threw soda on the floor. And Felix stained the carpet with cake. Things happen.

It gets dark and the guests start to leave.

After making your children bathe and sleep with your husband, you take showers. The shower has relaxed you a lot. Honestly you just want to sleep.

But when you get to the room, there is the light on the bedside table. He was sitting with a soft pillow on his back, against which he was leaning. He was reading a book. When he hears the door, he looks up and puts a bookmark in the book.

"Oh I was waiting for you... my beautiful girl", as I closed the book and left it on the bedside table. All without stopping looking at you.

"Yes, of course, you say that because I don't have a belly yet," you say smiling.

"You're always going to be for me," he says, with a warm smile.

You lie down. He then turns off the light and accommodates your side. "Come" he says to you softly. You lie your head on his chest, while he hugs you. He looks up at the ceiling and says "the best birthday I've ever had, thank you for taking care of everything... although Rodrigo ruined our surprise about the pregnancy," he smiles. "You close your eyes and say "maybe that's how my love had to pass. And of nothing, you know that I do it for you", you say hugging him strongly. He kisses you on the head and caresses your hair. You fall asleep. And he, too, after a few minutes.That night would be one of the last to sleep well in a long time. And internally both knew it. But, it doesn't matter... Christine is worth it.

Tags: @warriorteam1924 (bc you asked for this) @theworksgaga (bc you read the prequel recently and u loved it) @sweetgcreature (with this one I'm being risky lol)

PLEASE reblog if you like it!

#support fic writers #support the bloggers #support me #support painandpleasure86 please #painandpleasure86 fics #painandpleasure86 writes #queen fic #queen fics #fic writing #john deacon x reader #fluff #pregnancy #pregnant #deaky #deacy #john deacon birthday

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matamisin · 6 years

Note

Consider: Mina is a genuinely happy and positive person, but everyone has bad days (especially people who have been thru trauma, like seeing your loved ones regularly beaten to a bloody pulp). The thing is that Mina just. Refuses to show that trauma has actually been effecting her. She starts suppressing negative reactions to situations bc she wants to "stay strong." Beginning of the year? She cried when they got rescued from USJ. End of the year? "Lmao guess we survived another one! Ha! Ha! :)"

oh my god like millennial humor?? if yeah then lmao mina please

if not ahhh Mina baby you have feelings too that you gotta tend to!\

Alright- All (or at least all the angst headcanons I received) are answered below the cut! Please be careful, there are some, well angsty things in there!

TW: Eating Disorder, Gore/ Graphic Depictions, Homophobia, Depression, Suicidal Tendencies/ Self harm mention, Death, Possible spoilers to those not caught up with the BNHA manga- Please ask to tag if I missed any!

(looking at all these warnings made me realize omfg YALL DID NOT HOLD BACK IM CRYING ASK AND THOU SHALT RECEIVETH I SUPPOSE)

a-single-eyelash asked:

Denki accidentally hurt someone as a kid, say a sibling or good friend, with his quirk. It made him hate his work, until he saw a hero with a similar work to his. This is what made him think that not only is his quirk cool, but also that he can become a hero. Well until, he hurt Sero. His boyfriend, got electrocuted by him on the battlefield. (Sorry this is an idea I’ve had for a fic)

O H

BRUH THAT HIT ME LIKE A TRAIN COMING OUT FROM BEHIND THE BUSHES I THOUHGT THERE WAS GONNA BE A HAPPY ENDING THIS IS STILL GOOD THO

anonymous asked:

Bakugou is still sad, Sero is suicidal (Read to may fics about it man), Kami is legitimately afraid he’ll disappoint his parents, Tsu feels to normal, Kiri feeeeeelsss way to useless, and idk maybe Aoyama feels ignored. My own angsty headcanons.

Ah, yeah I can see how those can play into those characters!

anonymous asked:

Sero’s fight or flight response with a villains ice-like quirk (if your for that headcanon) OR Sero overwhelming his quirk trying to rescue a goddamn building of people

OH YA I AM FOR THAT

Also NO STOP HAVE I GOT SOMETHING IN STORE ABOUT COLLAPSING BUILIDINGS

anonymous asked:

Ashido + Bakugou bond over their quirks being destructive and not really knowing how to use them to actually *help* people

oh wow, I’ve never actually seen it that way.

But how about this: while they vent to each other about how their quirks can’t help people, the other is like, full on giving them descriptions of how their quirks actually CAN but they just never realized and they’re opening each other’s eyes while having their own insecurities knocked down

anonymous asked:

Omg your angst au is so angsty it’s beautiful

AH thank you haha!

anonymous asked:

Angsty headcannon boi- Sero was bullied in middle school for having wonky teeth and actually had braces. Which is why he has such a pearly white smile now. Sero was the last in his class to get his quirk and when he did he was laughed at because it was a ‘useless quirk’

n O ANON IM SOB

IM CRYING LEAVE HIM ALONE ILL SQUARE UP WITH THOSE BULLIES

anonymous asked:

Angst head cannon. Sero flinches whenever kirishima hardens. Sero’s parents are majorly homophobic and are actually quite strict. So whenever sero isn’t with bakusquad he tries to revise but it doesn’t work and he’s scared to ask for help.

Aw, man that’s heart wrenching to have parents so unsupportive- I feel it :( He’s just in a constant worry state whenever they’re around

anonymous asked:

If you’re still accepting the angst hcs… i think kaminari gets like really overcharged whenever there’s a storm and since they moved to the dorms there’s nowhere for him to release all the excess energy. So he just kinda hides away in his room in pain.

Aw, that’s terrible!

I dunno.. I feel like that one day when someone finds out during a storm, they’ll like, ask the teachers about “where someone could discharge a lot of energy askingforafriend” and they immediately know who they’re talking about and they’ll ask Powerloader and Mei and others in their department to build something for him to discharge all the excess AND be able to utilize it somehow :0 just a thought!

anonymous asked:

My headcannons: Sero is anorexic Bakugou has PTSD Kaminari has depression Kirishima had self-esteem issues Ashido is perfect (canon)

Oh that last part- she is, she is *clap**clap*

Though.. I will say that just because the others are haunted by those- it doesn’t make them less perfect. It’s their struggles that they learn to cope with and grow from, and it makes them, well, them. Not a definition of perfect can define that :’)

(sorry just speaking from my thoughts cause these hit close to home ahhh)

anonymous asked:

Lmao i sent a lot sorry if their not the best but hopefully some heart strings will be pulled

NONSENSE ANON ALL MY HEART STRINGS WERE PLUCKED BY ALL THESE AND NOW ITS YALLS TURN

transcandydemon asked:

Todocanon; todoroki has constant nightmares of the boiling water incident and of his father hurting him or his mom which causes him to not get as much sleep ie his calm attitude and how he’s not quick to get into conversations because of exhaustion

oh ya, such a traumatic past is def something that could still be haunting him in his dreams :’( but when the others notice, they’ll make sure to check up on him and try to find ways to help reduce nightmares or at least comfort him whenever they’re in his dreams

anonymous asked:

Deku head canon : deku is super jealous of kirishimas and bakugoa relationship since hes been trying to get close to kacchan for years and kirishima managed to do it within days

D’: He probably would feel that- jealousy’s very strong! But ah, in my personal opinion, i think he’d feel that, but after time learns that maybe it was best that he stopped dwelling on it and moves on, and learns to accept and be happy that he and Bakugou could at least be acquaintances that could eventually work well :’)

anonymous asked:

Denki headcanon: where he wants to be as close to bakugo as kirishima is and he tries so damn hard but takes bakugos insults to heart and he really does get torn up and upset about it(ex: the sports festival scene )

Oh wait which scene? Dunce face or?? :0 but yeah, I feel like he’d take it to heart at times. (but my bakukami heart tells me to say that when Baku realizes he gives him a good ass pep talk and beings hold back on his insults, or reassures Denki)

anonymous asked:

Bakugou could have PTSD and nightmares

Oh same headcanon! :’D Ah, but poor Bakugou. I’m sure the others would take it into mind and be aware of it and help him subtly so as to not provoke him, :’(

violetsare-tblue asked:

Bakugo: because of his inferiority complex, feels like he needs to prove himself over and over or he’ll be just the victim again Iida: his left arm is completely numb. He isn’t paralyzed and he can move it. He just can’t feel anything in his hand or arm. Makes holding hands with someone feel empty and useless Sero: he is so scared of being worthless as a hero and a person. He doesn’t want to be left behind by his classmates so he overworks himself and comes to school with random bruises

Oh mmhmm, I definitely see the Bakugou one! Especially after what he said during his fight with Deku, it def shows :(

Aw, Iida probably still looks back at his actions back in the Stain arc and regrets the errors of his ways. Luckily, I’m sure he’ll find someone who helps him through it and reminds him that mistakes don’t define him :’)

:’( Serooo MAKING ME CRY

casua-aria asked:

I have this Sero headcanon where he was the disposable (like how when tape dispensers run out and become disposable) friend in groups throughout his childhood, but now that he goes to UA, he has true caring friends that would never do that to him.

D: !!

That’s so sad- he must have thought his quirk was just life taunting him for being “disposable” hence the tape quirk :( but heck yeah, once he meets the students of UA he definitely begins to see that he wasn’t the problem in the past, but rather those that he was “friends” with!

anonymous asked:

Sero remembering very clearly all the pain that happened when his arm got cut off, maybe being a little scared of Kirishima for a few days after he first wakes up? Idk

OH YEAH THAT ONE HURTS

Like maybe.. once he’s able to respond again, he flinches and has an anxiety attack when he sees Kirishima because the sight of him just sends a flood of the memory to play in his head OOF

anonymous asked:

A personal favorite that nobody’s really thought of: a villain cuts off one finger from each of Ochako’s hands so she can’t use her quirk

OH MAN THATS BRUTAL OMG

That’s so dark!! I feel like a villain would do that should they get a hold of her and, mm maybe wanna rile up someone close to her to lure them in

meptoonzart asked:

Kirishima traitor

b R U H ID CRY MY EYES OUT IF HORI MADE HIM THE TRAITOR

Anonymous said:

I have a lot of angsty headcanons about Kaminari specifically so I’ll just spam you with those. He attracts electricity, so he often gets struck by lightning and has almost died from it twice. Kaminari knows people think he’s the traitor and it eats him up inside every day. He’s been ‘propositioned’ by quite a few creeps because he’s pretty and his quirk is, well, what it is. He has nightmares a lot and it causes power outages, he’s terrified his classmates will hate him for it.(1/?(Idk2maybe)

Sero got into a fight with someone after the sports festival, because how the hell did he make it into UA’S hero course, and Kaminari happens to be with him and he actively threatens the dude who started the fight with his quirk. No one bullies his friends. His overuse of his quirk is slowly killing him, he hasn’t told anyone that it’s destroying his brain. Bakugo reminds him of living in an abusive household but he doesn’t know how to say it so he laughs it off.(2/?(Okaymaybe4wearegettingthere)

Kirishima and Sero are the first to find out about both the frying brain and the abusive household, and Sero asks Kaminari if he wants to go try something. Kaminari says sure and Sero reserves a training ground for them, and Sero swings around with Kaminari and he hopes it works for Kami the same way it does for him. Sero is smiling because he doesn’t know what else to do, but swinging through the air helps him feel better and free. It helps. But there’s always, always the anxiety (¾)

the anxiety of ‘Maybe today is the day I fall’, but he doesn’t realize that Kaminari is helping him stay grounded. He won’t fall. Not when he gets to see Kaminari fuller of life than he’s ever been. They land on one of the buildings in ground Beta, and laugh like idiots as it starts to rain. Kaminari’s dying, Sero is a mess, and they just sit there for hours, past the end of their reservation, talking through their anxieties. Kaminari is scared to die. Sero is scared to lose him. (Okay1more4/5)

Sero promises Kaminari he’ll be there, he’ll do everything he can to help keep him alive as long as possible, and he asks Kaminari how long he has from his last estimate. Kaminari laughs, starting to cry. Six years. Sero tells the Bakusquad, and they promise him that they’ll be there when the time comes. Not villains or Dadzawa could stop them, and finally it does. For only being a hero for three years, he’s made history for kids who have terminal illnesses (ranoutofspacedammit)

And the drawbacks of quirks come more into light. Kaminari may not be a great student or hero, but he brought hope to a lot of people, and everyone will miss him. They can’t hear thunder crack without thinking of him, can’t see the golden sunrise without thinking of his smile. Can’t even bear to look at the classic lit section in a bookstore. He saved people and raised awareness, but he wrecked their hearts as well. (Somehow this turned into a near-fic I’m so sorry Hope you’re doing well(Done))

ANON OMG THANK YOU FOR THIS BASICALLY FIC IM CRYING THERES SO MUCH I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START CRYING

iamnootthedabmast-r said:

Heard you want some angsty headcannons- so Kaminari tends to stay up due to his quirk and he likes to stay in the dormitory lobby, so he just sits on the couch on his phone or just sits there in the dark- but this leads to him finding some secretive angsty stuff about other people in the dormitory for ex; Bakugou comes downstairs and just starts cooking cause he has terrible night terrors and Kaminari just quietly witnesses as Bakugou cries silently while he eats. (Part 1)

(Part 2) the next morning Kaminari kind of wants to try ask or comfort him but feels rude and awkward so he also kind of struggles with the knowledge of knowing that everyone in his class is a little to a lot of broken. So yeah, sorry if it’s a little confusing- in awkward when it comes to writing what I want to write…

DUUDE THIS IS SUCH A SAD CONCEPT IF YOU WRITE IT I WILL LEGITERALLY PERISH ON SPOT

Anonymous said:

May we… suggest directly… angsty oneshots? Please feel free to ignore this if you preferred hcs

(lmao sorry, im not caught up with the manga or anime to know what the first part is referrring to :’D) but ah yeah I’ve seen that headcanon, not too sure how to feel, but it’s out there!

#tw eating disorder #tw gore #tw graphic depictions #tw homophobia #tw depression #tw suicidal tendencies #tw self harm #tw death mention #bnha spoilers #long post #ask to tag #ahh i wont tag much else of bn/ha so it doesnt gloom up the tags!#all i want for christmas is queue

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nemirutami · 6 years

Note

Excuse me for being a weirdo who backreads people's blogs, but I had a small additional question regarding your answer to this ask here: /171315404167/ Do you also hate Alcor? If so, I'm incredibly curious to know why, since never harbored any ill will towards humanity and genuinely cared for the protagonist. (I realize I'm a little biased as I ship them together, but that's beside the point) I do agree most of the characters' motives and views were pretty selfish though.

I LOVE DESU ASKS.... AS EVIDENT BY THE VERY LONG REPLY... (SORRY!)

I’m glad ppl are reading them bc sometimes I feel like I’m yelling directly at a wall and my opinions are just bouncing right off, but I have an answer for that.

I think the game did Alcor disservice in how he was represented. He would have benefited more from being impartial (but he isn’t impartial- and I’ll go more into detail about how he meddles to tip the scales) but I will admit anime!alcor was worse and just a sloppy attempt at making a NGE reference- but I won’t go into that because I could write an essay about how shitty the DESU2 anime is (I think everyone can- no one that played the game liked it and I can’t blame them).

The characters I actually can’t stand are: Yamato and Ronaldo. Because they’re actually the ones that actively go out and wipe out even ALLIES for their own benefit, not gonna lie- I might hate Ronaldo just a tiny bit more because of Makoto’s fate events, even if Yamato is just as bad if not worse. On top of that, they’re both awful hypocrites and unlike Yamato where I can kinda see the appeal, Ronaldo is completely unlikable. Even so, I can enjoy ships with Yamato in them. Tho I ship absolutely no one with Ronaldo because why would you evoke that kind of suffering in anyone.

Everyone else is either bordering on annoying, bland, or just a mean spirited asshole. I feel more sympathy for Keita than I do for Hinako because at least Keita calls everyone a piece of shit, whereas Hinako seems to single out Daichi to shit on... on Daichi’s own route. Fumi also talks down to everyone, but in this case, Daichi’s just caught in the crossfire. Similar with Airi, she hates EVERYONE apparently, and will even punch Jungo. Hinako tho seems to specifically target Daichi on his route like... what the fuck is your problem? You called him an idiot twice in 1 battle Hinako holy shit, go chill??? I will never let this go because BOY was just BREATHING and she went “UGHHH YOU’RE SO STUPID” LIKE LET HIM BREATHE HOLY SHIT IS HE NOT EVEN ALLOWED THAT ANYMORE?

Anyways, onto Alcor.

There’s a lot of plot holes and inconsistencies surrounding how the summoning app actually works (Alcor invented it after all, and gave it to us to use) and all these inconsistencies just make Alcor look bad from a writing standpoint (more of that below). He could have been a good character had he not been written poorly (Much like Yamato and... like 99% of the cast really. Even Daichi suffers from shit writing and I’ll never forgive them for this.) and had the plot not fucked him in the end and basically had him destined to die even on Daichi’s route (which sucks but is understandable since he is a septentrione) perhaps I’d have actually liked him.

I tend to love characters that obsess with the protagonist, and they’re usually my absolute FAVORITE characters. I’m really surprised I didn’t jump on Alcor’s ship with the protag because it HAD the setting I absolutely adored for relationships to form? Especially the alien/human dynamic since I came into DESU2 right after exiting NGE so I was IN THE MOOD. Alcor in and of himself was just. Not satisfying to interact with (bored me to tears too) because of his cryptic messages that (more than anything) just waste time and bring the player nowhere unless they rank up to like 4 right before Yamato basically THROWS EXPOSITION AT YOU AND EXPLAINS THE ENTIRE PLOT ON THE 2ND LAST DAY (it’s even worse and comes even more out of nowhere if you haven’t interacted with Alcor at all in his fate events. More disservice. They should have made Alcor’s fate events more intimate and given Alcor more plot relevant lines within the plot itself instead of his events. Much like... Daichi really. They fucked up with Daichi by making his fate events more relevant to his character growth than the actual plot. I guess they did the same for Alcor but truth be told, I remember so little about Alcor because more than anything Alcor just bored me. Never quite pissed me off. Just bored me.)

Ok, but onto the cake. The things that made me iffy on Alcor’s character in general.

Alcor supposedly gave humans fire and culture and blah blah. Already this is telling me to practice immense amounts of disbelief since it’s well documented how these things came about, but I suppose if no one actually knows the history then they can accept this at face value? I wasn’t tho. He acted responsible for it and it put me in disbelief and just made me think he sounded like an idiot. It also made him seem very arrogant, because it implied people NEEDED to be given culture, and that we just didn’t develop culture and diversity on our own. It implies we were all lifeless husks until he came along and granted it to us. Which is insulting.

The fact he’s a septentrione isn’t foreshadowed well and is very obvious from the second we see him floating and talking to other demons/septentriones since he clearly knows what they’re saying. Not really a character-specific issue. Just more problems of bad writing. “Who is he...” Daichi have you seen a HUMAN float in space like that god fucking damn it i love you but why u so duMB WHY YOU ALL SO DUMB IT’S CLEARLY EITHER A DEMON OR A SEPTENTRIONE, THE REAL QUESTION IS- WHY IS HE HELPING US?

Btw that’s another point. Why is he helping us? Oh, right, because he messed up.

He doesn’t want Yamato’s world, but he gave Yamato the power to reform society. Then, when Yamato tries to do what Alcor granted him the means to do, he’s like. Hm. Well. Shit? This guy’s a fucking psycho. Time to place my bets on the protagonist instead (which he does favor a lot- which doesn’t make him impartial really since he clearly favors explaining things more to Hibiki/Protag than anyone else in the game, and it puts everyone else at a disadvantage when a GOD LIKE ENTITY is behind the protag boosting him to make the “right” choice for humanity). I know Alcor was fascinated by humans and wanted them to live (which is fine), yet he didn’t bother to warn the MILLIONS that died (and remained dead in one of the endings- thanks Alcor) due to his negligence. Knowing about it and at least not issuing a warning is cruel. Sure, he gave people the demon summoning app, but the app was considered a “prank site” (nice advertisement, Alcor) as Daichi said at the start of the game (which i hate more than Yamato himself. Daichi. This. This idiot. This idiot signed his best friend up to a DEATH SITE just cus LOLS- the writing is bullshit, and I really disliked early Daichi, too. I disliked some of later canon-Daichi too because he was just rendered to a joke outside his Fate Events). The writing is really unfair on everyone, and it doesn’t help that the app doesn’t work the way it’s advertised to work anyways, seeing as Alcor can twist it to do what HE needs it to do at any time.

For example, the app is said to send death videos regarding people you’ve made a bond with, but clearly that’s all bullshit considering Alcor manually sends Hibiki a warning (and only Hibiki alone) of Otome’s death video so that NO ONE BUT HIBIKI CAN SAVE HER. This implies he can manipulate the death videos personally and exclude others from receiving videos. This. This is not kind. Not at all. I know he was testing Hibiki, but at THIS RISK? Losing Otome can FUCK YOUR PERFECT RUN and outside game mechanics, ELIMINATE ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE. If he wanted to, he could kill characters he actually doesn’t like this way by basically not sending the videos out to people, which, if you don’t go to save Otome right away- will be the end of her. He’s putting all his bets on you alone and testing you by cutting off everyone else from the app- potentially hindering backup to save Otome. Sure, you save her but you can just as easily kill her. I can’t say this wasn’t a sleazy test because he was basically playing with Otome’s LIFE and showed no signs of remorse. Some love for humans you have Alcor. Shit dude. This isn’t kind at all.

But I guess these are my main qualms about him- at least the ones I remember- but take everything I say with a grain of salt bc I tried to avoid confrontation with him completely in my 2nd and 3rd run so I have vague memories lingering. I don’t hate him? I can actually like him if he’s written well by other people, but given how he is in the game, I can’t say I ever enjoyed interacting with him. He didn’t annoy me other than the 2 times I’ve stated above, where he basically talks down to us about how we got to our culture and how he kinda lets Otome PERISH if we don’t respond quickly enough. I know it was a test to the protagonist’s will, but aren’t the septentriones a test enough of my conviction, Alcor, honestly. Unlike Airi, Hinako, Keita, and everyone else, Alcor doesn’t annoy me at all. Io annoys me more, if not only because the game wanted Daichi to be plot relevant only for Io to get all the spotlight. Io is genuinely maybe the better written character- it’s just such a shame they flipflop on her as a lead when in any other game, she could easily have been a lead. Her love triangle kills any enjoyment I get from her at all tho and just makes me bitter. More bad writing- who would have guessed.

Tho from a shipping standpoint? You can ship Alcor with Hibiki for good reasons, obviously. There’s a clear connection and fascination there that doesn’t surprise me people flock to (because I would have been there too had they just written him better). I don’t really mind the ship itself. When I say “i don’t mind it” I just mean I don’t feel anything for it and I’d probably not draw it for myself. There are really no ships I hate or really... dislike? There’s just stuff I don’t ship, but I can definitely ship Hibiki/Alcor if it was for a plotpoint of some kind in a fic or art or whatever. It depends on the idea really.

I guess it’s too late to say something like this so far into the post, but I like to believe that ANY ship works if the construction/buildup to it is good enough. I believe you can make any character do/say anything under the right circumstances with the right motives without it being OOC or feel out of place. I’d like to think talent is wicked like that- a double edged sword of risky ideas that can either make or break your interpretation/perception depending on how you build it up. Though, that takes effort. Something DESU2 sadly lacks in a lot of ares, but it’s still a game worth playing for the experience and I wouldn’t not recommend it for the good parts that are (while few) really, really good.

#tnt answers asks #LONG BOY LONG... tall boye... thanks for the ask- this was fun #and sorry for... writing so much LMAO MB I TOOK IT TOO SERIOUSLY #BUT NO ONE ASKS ABT DESU2 USUALLY I GOT EXCITED...#yatsuatari

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