Re: the fic questions. For killshot. I'd love to know all or any answers to 2, 5, 6, 11 and 12.
My beloved ❤️❤️❤️ LES GO! I love these I'M SO EXCITED TO TALK ABT KILLSHOT
Under the cut cause I ramble so much...
on killshot!
2: What scene did you first put down?
A scene that never made the final cut! It was an Iceman scene and it was something based on a movie I'd just watched and I thought 'hah that'd look cool written down' and when I did I realized I had a whole fic idea. I still have it written but it'll likely never see the light of day, which is sad because it's actually so good!
5: What part was hardest to write?
There are two death scenes down that haven't been posted yet that to me were really gut wrenching, there's another scene that also isn't posted yet that is very raw and had me rewriting it about three times. of the posted ones, funny enough the Rooster/Charlie Hard Deck scene, not because the scene itself was hard but because I wasn't satisfied with how it turned out. Still don't love it but it's posted so!
6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?
It's the fic that made me want to go back to writing fanfics! I woke up that day, had the idea for a scene and inspiration just hit me violently and when I realized, I had a whole... lore and ideas and just REALLY wanted to write this specific story with these specific characters! And I had stopped writing six years ago, so really, this one fanfic is the brain worms that brought me back into fanfiction, fandom culture and writing! I can't even explain, it just happened! And I'm so very happy about it.
Also what makes it different from the others is that not only it's this very specific niche AU so dear to my heart but it's also my experimental little piece. With narration and writing style, everything about it is just... me coming back from writing for myself for the past six years and trying to put in practice everything I've learned since!
I feel I'm improving by the day, too!
11: What do you like best about this fic?
The literal amount of effort I've put on it, I have the exactly eight (08) docs of things detailing lore, timeline, powers, character dynamics, design, ideas, removed scenes, scenes to be added. I have just SO MUCH for it, it's a pet project I've just... loved since day 1?
12: What do you like least about this fic?
The non-linearity. NO, HEAR ME OUT. At the same time I love it because it's a cool narrative resource, it's also ASS to keep it organized. I have to make sure whoever is reading can understand more or less where these things connect, which means I have to connect them.... AND IT'S SO MUCH ASS. It's HARD AS FUCK. I love and hate it so much, I curse myself daily trying to keep track of what the fuck scenes and moments I've written.
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Mizu was wrong to let Akemi be taken because they both deserve better
First, a confession. When I saw this for the first time:
I was relieved. I knew that was what Mizu was going to say and I felt like it's what I would have said in that situation too.
When Akemi does this:
I cringed, because if we know anything about Mizu, it's that she (1) isn't quick to make friends (though to be fair, even though Akemi did try to kill Mizu, so did Taigen - multiple times! - and look how that turned out lol), and (2) doesn't take orders.
So when Akemi and Ringo and later Taigen get angry at Mizu, are they being unfair?
Sure, Mizu isn't obligated to treat Akemi - or Taigen or Ringo or anybody else - nicely, or to serve them, or to be honorable, or be a hero to them, or whatever. No human being is obligated to any other human being. We all have the choice to do whatever we want to anybody else. But the point of flawed characters in storytelling is the tension between those characters and their potential. Their growth into someone who can choose the higher, harder path, who chooses to be obligated to others, who chooses kindness and compassion.
Because Mizu's problem isn't revenge. Nobody is preaching at Mizu that revenge isn't the answer. Her circumstances do suck, her life has been incredibly unfair, she is marginalized, and as far as we and Mizu know for most of the season, she is a child born of violence and no one is saying that that violence doesn't deserve to be repaid in kind.
Mizu's problem is isolation. And the fact that she thinks she has no responsibility toward her fellow human beings, because her hatred of her own circumstances and her having no life outside of her quest devours everything else. This is a problem because it turns Mizu into the worst version of herself. A version that hurts the people who like Mizu, the people who care about her.
Practically, Mizu has just taken on an entire army almost by herself. She's hurt. She's exhausted. If she were to defend Akemi now, it'd be yet ANOTHER fight, this time against horsed and armored samurai.
But that's not the reason Mizu gives Ringo. Mizu's ability or willingness to fight isn't even on her mind. All she says is, "She's better off."
"She's better off" is Mizu deciding what's best for Akemi. Akemi's entire story is about her being a caged bird longing to fly free.
One after the other, every man and woman in Akemi's life makes her decisions for her. She has to grovel and smile prettily and lie through her teeth just for the chance to be heard. Mizu judges Akemi for being a rich princess who isn't being more grateful for what she has, all without understanding Akemi's situation, and without any curiosity for why Akemi feels the way she does. From Akemi's perspective, Mizu is just one more person (one more man!) in a long lineup who ignores Akemi's wishes and (casually!) makes a decision for her that impacts Akemi's life greatly.
In the end, even Seki concludes that Akemi should get to decide what's best for Akemi. What others think that Akemi SHOULD want does not matter compared to what Akemi wants for her own life. As Madame Kaji said - Madame Kaji, who despite calling out the weirdness of Akemi's situation as well as the childishness of her decision to run away - is the only person Akemi meets who doesn't try to make decisions for Akemi, but instead only challenges Akemi to work for and be worthy of what she wants - she needs to decide what she wants for her own fucking self, and then take it.
Mizu being born female does not make her automatically wiser for letting Akemi be taken, and it does not preclude her from having a hand in giving Akemi back to her jailers. A patriarchy that Mizu knows full well would stop Mizu from achieving her own goals if she didn't present as male.
Mizu is still understandable here. She just had to kill Kinuyo, a disabled girl sold by her father into prostitution, a girl in a situation so far beyond Akemi's worst imaginings that I can practically feel Mizu's world being rocked just by comparing them in her mind the way she most likely is. That still doesn't make it right for Mizu to let Akemi be carried off to be sold into marriage by her father against her wishes. Those "good options" Mizu thinks Akemi has don't exist, no more than they ever existed for Mizu. Akemi and Mizu both have to get creative, make the best of their circumstances, take dangerous risks, and break rules in order to have any control over their own lives.
Even on my first watch, when at first I thought that Mizu had made the right decision and that Akemi was being unreasonable, Akemi screaming Mizu's name while being dragged, LITERALLY DRAGGED, back to her father was haunting as hell.
Mizu had the power to help Akemi, and simply chose not to.
Mizu lets Akemi be taken, Akemi who has just begun to trust Mizu. Mizu calls Ringo weak and quickly - seemingly easily - turns her back on him. Mizu values her quest over Taigen's life, after Taigen has endured days of torture to protect her, and she not only risks his life in the process, but doesn't tell him that Akemi is engaged to someone else, or that she came looking for Taigen, or that she is in danger.
Mizu's sword breaks because it is too brittle. Too pure. Too singleminded. Mizu only melts down the meteorite metal when she mixes the metal with objects from parts of her life that have nothing to do with her quest. Objects from the people she cares about, and who care about her.
All I'm saying is - Mizu doesn't have to be a hero. But she is the better version of herself when she reaches out to help and connect with others. When she's just a decent, kinder human being. And I think that's what this story is telling us that we should want for Mizu.
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