#also used chopped chocolate instead of chocolate chips and I am never going back…

[wizardhex]

literally addicted to this gluten free chocolate chip cookie recipe I found recently I’ve made 3 batches in the past 2 weeks and you know what? I’m gonna make another

[theodora3022]

Love You To Hell And Back(Yandere Claude)

Pairing: Yandere Claude Faustus x F!reader

Summary: Upon running away from home due to an unwanted arranged marriage, you took up a maid position in the Trancy household. You thought it would be simple, lay low for couple of months then the other family would cancel the engagement. Being a maid should be easy right? Just wash and clean the house and saying yes to their lords. You never thought you would end up in such a bizarre and dangerous household.

Notes: I am a Claude simp. If you do not know before, you do now. Do not get the wrong idea, Sebastien is handsome alright, but there is just something about those golden eyes makes me shiver in the best kind of way. (Also I love the French pronunciation of his name but whatever)

Word count:2k

Warning: Non-con touching, coercion, possessive behaviour, general Yandere content

SFW

As a lady on exile, you do not have many options. Your relatives were out of the question since they could inform your parents of your whereabouts, and so does all of your friends. Luckily, you figured out the perfect solution: disguises! And who is more unnoticeable then a maid? They blend naturally in the background of drawing rooms and parties, no one will bat an eye if there happen to be an extra one. Nobles do not care for servants, so a forged name and documents would get the job done. 

Answering advertisements seems to be a good way to start. Ah, there is one right here. The Trancy Estate? To your knowledge, there is only one young lord there, and you are not acquainted with the family. Seems the ideal choice: “Only for two months, as a replacement.” You know being a servant would be unpleasant, compare to your noble lady life now, but you had chosen between this instead marrying a man you despise.

Packing some essentials, you thrown on a simple cotton dress borrowed from your maids and sneaked out. You thought you had escaped from hell, not knowing you are better off staying. Because, you had quite literally, walked into a spider’s trap.

 A dark-skinned maid welcomed you, explaining how she has to leave the household for some personal business while giving you a small tour of the building. She seems nice enough, although you were curious why her right eye is covered by bandages. The manor is dead quiet and empty, giving you an illusion of how you can hear your own breathing.

“Miss Hannah, where are the other servants?” You shiver, tightening your clock just a bit. Although it is only autumn, the winds are chillier in this house, or so you felt.

“There is only five of us. Me, the triplets, and Sir Claude the butler. Our master can be...difficult, one could say.” Handing you a basket of maid attire, Hannah seem to be terrified of this master she speaks of.  

I wonder why he is so difficult. You thought as you thanked her and settled down in the little servant room you were given. Better put on these maid clothes soon, getting use to them as fast as possible. Blue and white does not look so bad together.

Kitchen duties are not so bad since all you need to do is chopping up vegetables and wash the dishes while the triplets took care of the cooking. Dusting is a nuisance, but with enough efforts it was taken care off. The triplets are an odd flock, as they never speak unless necessary. All your befriend attempts had failed miserably, you felt as if they look down on you somehow? Since you only do backstage work, you had yet to meet the master and his butler. Not that you mind, you want to kept your existence covert, after all!

You were trying to dust off the chandelier in the drawing room when you first met Claude. The stairs you use are a bit unstable, which causes you to have major anxieties about falling.

“Ahh!” You squeal as your staircase finally deciding to let you fall. Closing your eyes in horror, you were certain you are going to suffer at least bruises. But the expected pain never came. Instead, you felt a strong set of arms had caught your body mid-hair.

 Gazing up, what did you see?

Oh did that gorgeous face make this fall worth it. The tall man in black reminds you of those flawless Roman statues, of King David. You never thought humans can be this magnificent.(Well you are still right, as he is no human)

Gently placing you back on your feet, Claude started to examine you behind those clear glasses. You quickly smoothed the wrinkles on your skirt as you dip your head for greeting.

“Greetings, kind Sir. You must be Sir Claude. My pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am (y/n), the new maid.” Gods, he is handsome. You were not even sure words can describe how those golden eyes made you feel. Are you blushing? Ugh, get it together, self! He is only a butler here. It is beneath you to swoon over him. You put on a smile, then courtesies to the stoic man in the most elegant way possible.

The lack of callus on your fingers and your sophisticated manners informs him that you, are no ordinary maid. As a servant to his lord, Claude needs to make sure no sketchy individual can harm him. Some investigation would need to be done.

How interesting...Why would a high-born lady such as yourself ran away from your prestigious noble house, only to serve as a humble servant here? Just where did Hannah dig you up? Ah, that is no matter at present. Surely your cheerful spirts can light up the dull days of this mansion. The only thing Claude need to ensure is you do not expire as quickly as others. Alois can be such a spoiled brat; however no harm should befall to you as long as he can help it.

Your voice reminds the demon of little birds of forest mornings, chirping delightfully to a new day no matter how horrid the night before was. The way you thank him stuttering then trying to go back to your duties are just adorable, and amusing. It is clear as day:you are fascinated by Claude’s pretty face. Quite bold for a lady to do so. Claude had met a lot of people in his long life, but none of them intrigues him so as you do. He cannot grasp what exactly, but there must be something enchanting about you, that makes him want to pull you close and do unspeakable things to your good, pure body.  

Tender and cautious, that is what the knocks on his office door suggests. It is late, way past Alois’s bedtime. Who could have business with him this hour, apart from his demanding lord? “Come in.” Claude’s curiosity had spiked up.

It is you, still dressed and with a plate in your hands. What a pleasant surprise. And are those pastries?

“I...baked these for you, Sir. I want to thank you for your help earlier today.” Looking away, you quickly remind yourself how you should never indulge too much. However you had already spent two hours of your free time trying to bake something decent.

Did your parents taught you it is improper to visit a man’s quarters this late at night, alone? How rebellious of you, not that Claude minds anyway. You might appear to be demure and good at first sight, but under that nice façade is a bold maiden who does not care for modesty, how complex.

Chocolate chip biscuits, but with distorted shapes. “I am not very good at this, so I totally understand if you do not wish to eat them. I jus want to properly show my gratitude, that is all.” Nervously fidgeting your apron corner, you bit your lip when he raises one of them to his lips and took a small bite.

Edible, but has lots of room for improvement. Claude can practically taste your eagerness to please from the chocolate spheres. Seeing your gaze fixated on him, expecting his comments on your work, Claude let out a quiet laugh. Which made heat rush up to your cheeks. Is that a good or a bad response? It cannot be that terrible can it?

“Come.” He signals with a hand wave, and you hesitantly walked beside his chair. How cute, the butler and the little maid. It would be a shame to just give you some half-hearted praises and send you out, wouldn’t it? It is what a gentleman would do, of course. Claude on the other hand, has never been one. He could entertain that appearance for his lord’s sake, but in this little room with just you, there is no need for charades.

You were shocked when one gloved hand pulled you swiftly onto his lap, with the other locked around your waist, pressing you against his chest. Of course, you fantasized the idea of being the lover of such a fine specimen of mankind, but only the idea of it. Even though you are nothing more then a lowly maid now, you are still a lady of nobility with conducts of propriety.

Your shrinking pupils made Claude realize he might be pushing a bit too fast. But human lives are so fragile, so short compare to demon ones. If he does not seize this opportunity, who knows when is next one going to arrive? Whether it is your intention or not, Claude is now mesmerized with you. Now that he is holding you this close, breathing in your intoxicating sweet scent, the old demon had his first epiphany of a millennium: you are lovely, and he intends to keep you this way, one way or the other.

Squirming with protests, you tried to get out of his suffocating embrace. “Sir, this is not proper, please let go of me.” Yet you achieve no results, those iron grips still hold you firmly in place, those same arms that spared you an embarrassing fall this morning.

  “Little bird, finally thinking about propriety? You should know better then coming to my office this late unless you want something to happen.” Claude is close, too close, you can feel his breath fanning your ears gently. Gloved fingers trace down your jawline, making you tremble with fear. “Am I right, Lady (family name)?” You froze. What how did he-how do he know you are not a mere commoner? Had he already done a thorough investigation on you?

“Now, repeat after me, little bird.” His golden eyes shifted its color to pink, round pupils bending into a thin line. In normal circumstances, you would be terrified of how his features suddenly changed, but now you are too possessed by his intense gaze to think of anything else. Those eyes, you felt as if you could drown in those two magenta pools.

“I love Claude Faustus forever and I would do anything should he asks of me.”

“I-I love Claude Faustus f-forever...and I would do anything should....should he-e asks of me.” It is still your voice, although those words are defintely not your own. What is happening? Why do your tongue just moved on its own like man possessed?

“Perfect.” Running his bare fingers through your hair, Claude left a light kiss on your forehead, ignoring the horrid expression you are wearing. “You will behave, right little bird?”

“Of course, Sir Claude.” You did not just say that !There is no way. What has this evil man done to you? You never should have come here. Your terrible fiancée at least could not cast spells on you!

“I’ll take good care of you, my dearest little bird. After all, your fate is defined since the moment I lay my eyes on you. We are destined to be together.”

“Oh, do try to behave. It would be a shame if something should happen to your dear family. I would hate if you end up like your other human predecessors.” His lord, despite his young age, is a master at torture and inflicting suffering. There is a unfortunate reason why there is only a few servants in this manor, and the fact that they are durable demons too. Claude knows exactly where you would end up had he not intervened. Do not worry, he would never let you go. Demons mate for life, didn’t you know that? Why resist?

“I love you my dear, to the hell and back. We shall stay together until the end of time.”

[allycryz]

‘ you’re exhausted, [nickname of your choice]. ’ haurche x emet <3 IF your reblog was requesting prompts, if it wasn't, then no pressure! (:

It was! Please enjoy!

Timeline: post-ShB, Hades and Nerys are together. Loosely set after this prompt fill but not at all needed to read before reading this. Hades is struggling coming to terms with the fact that he is in love with Thancred and Y’shtola, and now here comes Haurchefant

Food cw

Hades dissipated out of the bed in a rush of aether.

They slept too lightly for him to rearrange things–shift Nerys into the space left between her and Thancred. And he might need the opening if he chose to return. Might. It was hardly comfortable, cramming five people into this bed. Fortunate, that Urianger chose this week to sequester himself in Thanalan.

The four of them remained asleep. For a breath of a moment he thought Haurchefant opened his eyes. But no, the man remained in perfect repose with Y’shtola curled up in his arms. Both in easy, peaceful sleep after bells of activity.

No one else was in the kitchen when he shuffled in, bleary-eyed and less than sure-footed. Blessedly empty...and cursedly understocked. He had balanced Tataru’s ledgers himself last week before his departure. Someone had been greedy about taking more than their share.

A fine homecoming. He rubbed at his now-healed hip as he considered what remained. The laceration was long gone before he returned from the mission Nerys had sent him on–handling a crowd of wealthy mages set on a coup in Ishgard. His own magic had repaired the damage before his “welcoming party” could fuss over it. And still, Y’shtola had stroked her claws over it and given him a pointed look.

Peppermint tea was the best of the options. No hardship truly, but coffee or his preferred types of tea would have been preferable. At least the Ironworks appliances were in good working order. Naturally, the most reliable components of his past-midnight drink were of Garlean make.

“I’m surprised you’re awake.”

Hades near bit his tongue at the sound. He must be tired if he hadn’t detected someone approaching. “Last I saw you, my lord, you looked dead asleep.”

“Oh I’ve been drifting in and out. What are you having?” There was all the room in the world for Haurchefant to stand on either side of him. Instead, the man put himself directly behind Hades and peered over his shoulder. “I did not know you liked peppermint tea.”

“It’s fine. There is nothing else available.”

“Incorrect, dear Hades.” His breath fluttered against Hades’ ear before he moved to the cupboard a few paces away. He felt along the wood panel...and tapped before opening it. Prior, it had contained nothing but containers for leftovers. Now it held a bevy of baking supplies, including several bars of expensive Ishagrdian bittersweet chocolate. “Fetch me the milk and heavy cream, if you please. If we only have one of those, we shall make do.”

“Did you do this? I did not think your thaumaturgy lessons had advanced this far.” He ignored the request to examine the working. This had also escaped his notice, the charms for it dormant and cloaked until Haurchefant roused them.

“No no, all I did was provide the ‘key’, as it were. Luckily, I have an intimate acquaintance with several renowned mages and scholars.” It was a difficult thing, to straddle the line of lechery and love in one expression. Most tried and failed. Yet, here was a shining example, so bright that it could hurt the dark aether Hades drew upon. “The milk and-”

“Yes, yes, I’ll fetch them.”

There was no heavy cream but they did have prodigious amount of milk in the icebox. He brought it over to the other man, who set to chopping chocolate upon the wooden cutting board shaped like a very rotund cat.

“...I do need to ask,” Haurchefant said amidst the rhythmic chopping. “Why did you not simply magic yourself a cup of your preferred beverage?”

Hades dropped his face into one hand with a very long, very exasperated sigh. The other hand flicked into the air, providing Haurchefant with a bottle of the heavy cream they lacked.  “It goes without saying, you will not mention this.”

“Of course not,” Haurchefant chuckled. He set the knife down and wiped his hands with the nearby towel. “Darling man, you’re exhausted aren’t you?”

“Even I can be depleted at times.”

“If I may be so bold-”

“My dear ser, when have you ever hesitated before?”

“More than you might imagine.” He caught the long tie of Hades’ robe, rubbing the silken fabric between thumb and forefinger. The mirth diminished in his eyes, replaced with something softer, more vulnerable. And that same, often-aggravating core of resiliency he always carried with him. “I will be bold then. You undertook a perilous mission, traveled a long way back to great aetheric cost, and then was promptly ravished by three lovely people and their very handsome Ishgardian. Why are you not sound asleep in the bed right now?

“Strange as it may seem...sometimes one can be so exhausted, you cannot sleep.” Hades tugged the sash away, gesturing at the ingredients. “Come now, you need to heat the dairy.”

“I have been fortunate enough not to experience that. Though I have witnessed it in Nerys sometimes.” With that, Haurchefant set to obedience; dutifully measuring out the liquids, the sugar, the small amount of espresso. He had witnessed the man cook before but never with exact amounts. Haurchefant was more likely to add by eye and by taste than employ the cups and spoons he did then.

“Though I am sorry it exhausted you into insomnia…” Haurchefant plucked a whisk from the drawer. “I am glad you allowed us to welcome you back properly.”

Hades made a show of studying his nails. The black paint had chipped dreadfully since Nerys painted them last. He willed the color away with a brush of magic–he would ask her for a new manicure in the morning. “You may have noticed, ser, that I enjoy the carnal pleasures.”

“I may have noticed it once or twice, yes.” The metal spokes of the whisk made light music upon the saucepan as Haurchefant studied the edges. Poised to move as soon as the correct bubbles appeared.

Haurchefant hummed a somewhat familiar tune. An old Ishgradian nursery song, Hades guessed. Abominably catchy, sure to haunt him for hours going forward. The man made it charming enough to forgive him for it.

The saucepan left the flame, chocolate dropped into the mixture. The rich aroma filled the air and Hades felt something in him relax at it. He’d never had much of a sweet tooth but chocolate...that was a concept he approved of. Haurchefant filled two delicate cups and brought them to the table in the corner, beckoning him to join.

Hades set himself in the chair, crossing one leg over the other. The first sip of chocolate was everything the aroma promised: rich, dark, sweet but not overly so. Perhaps he would be able to sleep tonight.

“Do you like it?”

“Quality as always, Lord Emissary.” Hades inclined his head. “I hope it remedies whatever has you up and about at such a forsaken hour.”

“Truly? I got out of bed to check on you.”

“Kind of you,” said Hades, ignoring the treacherous pain in his chest. Determined not to give in to the tenderness of the statement. “But also: nosy. Dear dear, what shall be done with you?”

“If I recall…” Haurchefant’s eyebrows rose. “You made excellent use of me this evening.”

“Yes, Nerys does like to see you in raptures. And I am nothing if not generous to my lovers.”

"How generous? What might I receive from you?"

If Haurchefant wanted to play this game, Hades would oblige. (It certainly was steadier ground.) “For one, you might receive the gift of my receiving. You gave to everyone else but me.”

“Oh but Hades…” Haurchefant learned forward and curled his index finger under Hades’ chin. "Would you deny me the sight of you thrusting? Every time you do...Fury but you're radiant. And you feel perfect."

Sweeter words had been spoken in his ear, similar overtures made in far more sensual environs. But Haurchefant speaking those words in the dark kitchen, gazing at him like that-

-he found it very hard to breathe or think of a response. 

Instinct took over, millenia of etiquette stamped into his bones. Mores and gestures changed over time and place but many classics were the same as they had been in Amaurot. He caught Haurchefant’s hand and kissed it with a mild, seated bow. 

He found his voice and looked up with his sly, ready smile. And Haurchefant looked at him with such aching sweetness that it broke him again. The next innuendo caught in his throat and instead he said, “Nerys was right, when she called you a poetic soul.”

“Thank you, dear Hades.” He rose and Hades braced himself for the kiss, the caress of hand upon cheek. The table might support their weight though the floor would be better-

His lips dropped upon the crown of Hades’ hair.  "I hope the chocolate helps you sleep. I expect you to come to bed at some point, lovely one."

"Even if it disturbs your sleep again?" Hades murmured, feeling the same treacherous pain in the hollow cavity of his chest.

"Ah Hades, it will be well worth it to see the happiness on their faces to wake up with you. All three of them." 

He departed. Hades stared into his half-full cup of chocolate.

--

"Good morning."

"Ugh," Hades dragged the pillow over his face. "Precisely what is good about this bright sun at this early hour?"

"I have some ideas." Thancred slid a hand into the silk robe. Tracing the creases and marks the bunched fabric left during the night. "When did you put this on?"

"Does it matter?" Hades grumbled, stilling under the light touch.

"Probably not." The cheeky knave took away his pillow and straddled his waist, far too energetic and chipper for a man with claw marks across his chest.

Hades sighed, looking up into that handsome face. “Where are the others?”

The door to the attached bathroom opened, answering his question. The missing three filed out in towels, robes, and damp hair. Y’shtola smirked at them. “Are we interrupting?”

"Do you want to interrupt?" Hades asked. The truth he had been–stubbornly, foolishly–ignoring was plain on their faces. Thancred and Y’shtola looked at him the same way Nerys did and he was glad for it. 

What he should have expected and was still thrown by: Haurchefant gazed at him the same way. 

Ah. He thought as Y'shtola got onto the bed. I do believe I am in trouble.

[illoustrioustaco]

Takoyaki and Me

An Adventure in Culinary Experimentation. 

I like food. This isn’t a secret or anything, but I like experimenting with ‘exotic’ cuisine. Since my efforts with Tamagoyaki were so successful, I turned my attentions to another food I was interested in but had never had the opportunity to try.

Takoyaki.

It all looks so *good* in the Youtube videos, and I got worked up about it and looked up recipes, and pans, and tried to figure out do I really need a specific pan? Do I actually need to get a kitchen scale to measure out the flour and salt and baking powder? Why are there so many ingredients in just the batter…

Okay. I could do this. I had like… ten pans in my amazon shopping cart at one point as I tried to decide which one I wanted. Did I wan an electric one I could just plug in? If so, did I want one with variable temperature control, or did I want one where I just turn it on and go? Would I rather get a stove-top one? Non stick aluminum, or cast iron? Did I want to get a cake pop maker so I had the option to make little cakes instead? I’ve never made little cakes before, but… and on and on.

I eventually got tired of it and just decided on one of the cheaper stove top options, a cast iron pan that I am ridiculously pleased with. It was on sale when I got it, which helps.

Next is gathering up ingredients and toppings, which was where I ran into a problem. I wanted to share this new treat with my family, and my mom is allergic to sea food. Can I substitute something else? Certainly, sausages were the number one substitute I found online and they are pretty easy to get ahold of, where as boiled octopus (the eponymous Tako in Takoyaki)is both expensive in my area and hard to find.

The other problems were more insidious though. Like Worcester sauce, Takoyaki sauce has fish in it. Okay, what can I substitute? Okonomiyaki sauce, nice.

∑(O_O;)!!

It costs HOW MUCH??? Amazon, you betray me… but I’ll get it anyways… I also spent twenty dollars on daishi stock, even though I can’t use it in batches I’ll be sharing with my mom. That’s okay, it seems like such a steady staple in all the recipes I want to try, I’m sure I’ll use it often (Hint: I have not been using it often…)

I have to get special Mayonnaise?? For fourteen dollars a bottle? -_- … I’ll have to acquire more pieces later… at least I have the pan and Okonomiyaki sauce. Since I got a cast Iron pan, I washed it and then seasoned it, which went as well as could be expected. My pan was lumpy for a little while till I figured things out… On the other hand, it really does not stick at all and I’m very pleased with it so far.

Back to my experiences though, I had the pan, I had some sauce… I was going to use regular mayo until I could get the special stuff, all I needed now was a recipe that I could follow for the batter.

Huh… all of these are pretty complicated, and most are written with grams and millileters instead of cups and teaspoons… but I found one with measurements I could read and didn’t need a scale for. Problem: I’m too lazy to get baking powder. I’ll try out self rising flour, that way I don’t need to use salt either. This was probably the best decision I made about the ingredients, to be honest.

So I put it all together… and I maybe used just a little too much daishi stock, but I’m sure it will be fine, right? (it was not fine…) I pre-heated my new pan on medium high, and added enough veggie oil to make sure it didn’t stick… I had the sausages and cheese chopped up, and a mixing bowl with a small spout on one side and a handle for ‘easy’ pouring. I didn’t have a takoyaki pick, but toothpicks would work fine for trying to turn it.

It was a bit of a disaster. I poured the batter in the pan, and started adding the fillings… Is it supposed to be smoking this much? My fingers are too hot, the toothpicks are so short for turning the balls… If I had any knuckle hair, it was singed off. Why is the outside so dark and crispy? O.o …

Huh, it started burning… better turn it… my pan is too close together to use the stuff it all inside method… why is it burning… Well at least I know they are fully cooked. I’ll put them on the plate, add the sauce and mayo…

(っ╥╯﹏╰╥c)

Why… is it so salty…

I was devastated… I went away for three days, combing over where did I go wrong. When I came back, I had made my decision. I used a chicken bullion cube for the broth instead of the daishi, and skipped adding a spoonful of soy sauce. I heated the pan no higher than medium… much better.

All the flavors came out great, but I wanted to experiment a bit more. Also, the Okonomiyaki sauce tastes like Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce… lesson learned.

Could I… use cake mix in the pan?

No… do not use a box of cake mix to try to make takoyakis. It’s too soft somehow, did not work, especially did not work with chocolate chips in the middle. Hmm… if I skip adding the broth to the batter though…

That works much better, and my dad and brother loved the chocolate chip balls…

I’ve tried out the neutral batter with the savory fillings, which worked well. This means I only need to make the neutral batter and I have options for making it sweet or savory.

By the way, I got bamboo skewers from the dollar store, as well as a few condiment bottles that make filling the holes 100% easier. No longer do I burn my knuckles and its easy to half fill the holes and then turn them and half fill again to get that lovely rounded shape.

So… with my experiments here are what I consider to be essential supplies:

Takoyaki Pan (this really isn’t negotiable)

Bamboo Skewers

Condiment bottle for the batter

A willing spirit to experiment with.

For those who want the recipe I use, which is pared down and easy, here it is:

1 Egg 3/4 cup water 1/2 cup self rising flour

That’s it. Mix until smooth, put in the condiment bottle, and go have fun. If you want tips and stuff on turning them, look up some youtube videos. Use regular BBQ sauce and mayo, and I put crushed pretzels in mine because I didn’t have any of the fluffy fried batter bits, and it worked great. Rice crispies are perfect for the chocolate ones and neutral in flavor so they can be used in the savory ones too. Use whatever fillings will fit, and it’s all good. :3

This is my experience with it, so good luck and have fun.

[starsgivemehp]

Nibbling

Word Count: 1,301

Summary:  Edge only seems to nibble on tiny snack foods, and you're determined to make him eat something else. It helps that you're tipsy.

Characters: Edge, Red, Reader

Warnings: alcohol mention

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24120040

- - - - - - - - - -

Munch munch munch.

Almost every time you saw him, he had a little packet of pretzels, or a sleeve of crackers, or something else crunchy and small. Only little snack foods. You never saw him eat anything else, he only nibbled, like he had nothing else. You supposed he might’ve truly had nothing else before, in his world. He never spoke much of it. You could probably glean more from Red, whom you hung out with at the bar, as he was looser-lipped when getting drunk. But you’d never thought to ask then, when they seemed so unwilling to share information when sober.

(Not that you’d ever seen Edge drink, he avoided the bar like the plague. You knew because you were there more often than you should be.)

“Hey. Heyyy.”

“WHAT IS IT, HUMAN?”

He still liked to call you that, even though you’d told him your name many times. You eventually just got used to it. He was sitting on the other side of the couch, newspaper in hand, and you crawled over to him, wary of tipping off the couch. Your ammo in hand, you unwrapped it a bit and then poked it against his cheek. He flinched like he’d expected a slap, and then gave you the stink eye. You ignored it, continuing to gently poke it against the side of his jaw.

“Eeeat it.”

“WHAT IS IT?”

“Issa chocolate bar!”

“NO THANK YOU.”

“C’mooooooooon! Eeeeaaaat iiiiiiit,” you drawled, deliberately letting your tipsiness become annoying. He huffed and snatched it away from you, then took a big bite as if he was only doing it out of spite. He paused, then chewed it more carefully. You beamed, settling back down.

“Chocolate’s good for you! And it’s tastier than pretzels.”

“...IT IS,” he admitted after a moment, and you mentally cheered. A victory for tipsy ideas! You then hopped up and went into the kitchen. “NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“Making you nachos!”

“I DON’T WANT THEM.”

“Too bad~!” With that you dumped some tortilla chips on a big plate, then absolutely covered them in shredded cheese. A bit of chopped jalapeno, a bit of onion, a bit of ground beef were all tossed into a pan, while the plate of chips and cheese was popped into the microwave. Not ten minutes later, you presented the plate to him with all the fixings you’d provided, grinning wide.

Edge turned back to his newspaper when you returned, pointedly ignoring you. “NO THANK YOU.”

“But, but Edge!” you whined, gripping the plate with both hands, “I made it for you!”

“I DON’T NEED YOUR PITY.”

“It’s not pity! It’s… It’s… I just, you eat pretzels and crackers all the time, do you even know what nachos taste like?”

“WHAT YOU’RE SAYING IS PITYING.”

“Well, so what! I’m just trying to help!”

Oh no. The tears were starting to well up. You hated that you cried so easily like this. It was the downside to only drinking a little, staying at home instead of going out. You sniffled. Edge jolted a little, staring up at you. When you let out a pitiful little sound you hated, he stood and took hold of the other side of the plate.

“OKAY, I’LL EAT IT, ARE YOU HAPPY? YOU DON’T HAVE TO-” He struggled for words. You sniffled again and nodded, trying to put on a smile. You didn’t mean to guilt him. But it seemed to have worked anyway… Oops. You watched him sit back down with a sigh. He looked over the plate, trying to figure out where to approach this mess of cheese and chips and toppings. Finally, he found a chip with a nice clean corner, and tried to pull it free. It broke, only the clean part coming off. With a huff of breath through his nasal cavity, he bit the bullet and pulled on a piece covered with cheese. Slowly, he pulled it away. It seemed a good piece, with a bit of everything on it. He lifted it to his mouth and bit down. His eyes went wide. He coughed a little at the flavor. You rubbed your face.

“Sorry, I should’ve warned you about the jala-”

You broke off as he bit down on the next piece, eagerly starting to dig in. You could only stare in shock as he devoured the food like it was ambrosia of the gods and he’d been starving. Slowly, you smiled, sitting back down on the couch. The satisfying sounds of someone munching down on a treat you’d made them lulled you into sleep.

You woke up in the morning with a blanket tucked around you, one arm haphazardly off the couch that was now empty aside from you. This was typical. You spotted Red unceremoniously plopped face-first on the recliner, having either stumbled home or been dumped there by Edge. There was the smell of… burning…

You jumped up, rushing into the kitchen. Edge was at the stove, frowning down at very burnt meat and a very clumsily chopped jalapeno and onion, the uneven chunks blackened at the pan and raw above that. He looked up at you skidding in, and backed away from the stove.

“ER, I... “

“What are you doing? They’re all burnt!” You hastily shut off the stove and moved the pan, trying not to cough at the stinging smell in the air. Your eyes stung a little but you ignored it. Then Edge slowly opened the microwave, bringing out also-burned cheese on chips. He looked almost sheepish, holding it out. You took it, looking down at the overdone cheese.

“If you wanted more, you could’ve asked.”

“I WAS TRYING TO MAKE IT FOR YOU. IT WAS VERY GREASY, YOU SEE, AND RED HAS TOLD ME GREASE HELPS HANGOVERS.”

“Oh… That’s… So thoughtful of you! But I’m okay. I’m not hungover.” You smiled a little. Then the smile faded as you looked down. “Uh, I’m sorry I guilted you into having them. I didn’t mean to.”

“I FIGURED NOT. IT’S FINE. IT’S…” He went to sit at the table, where he’d been nursing coffee. That, he knew how to make right. “YOU WERE RIGHT. I’D NEVER HAD IT BEFORE. I’D NEVER HAD MUCH OF ANYTHING BEFORE. ALL OF THE FOOD WE GOT, WE STOLE. ALL OUR LIVES. SO IT WAS MOSTLY THINGS THAT WOULD LAST A LONG TIME. PRETZELS, CRACKERS, PEANUT BUTTER. I NEVER GOT TO COOK. I’VE HAD A CHOCOLATE BAR ONCE OR TWICE, AND MAYBE THREE HOT MEALS IN MY LIFE.”

You stared at him, slowly scraping the burnt mess off the plates and into the garbage.

“But… you’re here now. You live with me and you can have whatever food you want.”

“I KNOW. I SUPPOSE IT NEVER… CLICKED. THAT I COULD. THAT IT WOULDN’T BE RUDE. I COULDN’T BRING MYSELF TO STEAL FROM THE ONE PERSON WHO GAVE US A SAFE HAVEN, SO…”

“Oh, geez, Edge… It’s okay. I took you in when you were still threatening to shank me if I made a wrong move. Of course I expected to feed you.”

He looked away. “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW ODD IT IS TO US. YOU’RE REALLY VERY LUCKY WE NEVER KILLED YOU.”

You shrugged. “I get lucky a lot. And what was I going to do, leave you in that alleyway half-dead and knowing no one?”

“I HOPE YOU DON’T TAKE IN EVERY STRANGER YOU FIND HALF-DEAD IN AN ALLEYWAY.”

“No… just ones that look like my friends.”

“AH.” He looked down. “IN ANY EVENT… I AM SORRY I RUINED IT.”

“Nah, don’t be! It’s…” You flushed a little. “Thanks for trying. I’ll teach you… okay?”

“YOU WILL?”

“Yeah! It’ll be fun. I’ll teach you how to cook lots of things.”

“I WOULD… APPRECIATE THAT VERY MUCH, THEN.”

“You’re welcome, Edge.”

[phantomphangphucker]

Ectober Day 14: Dinner - Hunger Is My Boi

It’s been a bit too long since Danny has had some ectoplasm to eat. And now his folks want him to spend all day in the lab sorting and sampling ectoplasm samples.

Note: I've had an idea for a ghost hunger fic for a while now and this was the perfect excuse to make everyone deal with my bullshit. I also wrote this while getting progressively more wine drunk because that's just what happens every thanksgiving in my house.

Danny erratically untangles himself from his twisted up bed sheets as his mom knocks on the door, Danny shouting, “I’m up! I’m up!”. He nearly trips over a couple of socks on the floor as his mom chuckles, “it’s six am, I wouldn’t expect you to be”, clearing her throat, “but your father and I seemed to have siphoned off far too much ectoplasm, and of different kinds too! To be able to handle it all ourselves”.

Danny stills, shorts only halfway up, grumbling, “oh just great, why couldn’t this have happened tomorrow instead?”. Rubbing at his core as just the mention of ectoplasm makes it vibrate with hunger. Patting at it, “I know, I know. Just gotta wait till tonight”.

Danny yanks his shirt over his head and ruffles his hair before sticking his head out the door, “just how much are we talking here? It’s not, like, that entire trap box worth again, is it?”.

Maddie shakes her head with a smile, “we’ve already handled all the messy bits. Just need help keeping track of all the breakers and take samples”.

“So I don’t need a broom or need to wash my hands for an hour just to get the splatter off?”.

Maddie laughs and shakes her head, “no sweetie. I’ll be in the lab”, before turning heading downstairs.

Danny mutters, “damnit, so that’s a ‘no’ on sneakily cleaning my hands with my tongue”. Danny closes his door and leans against it for a beat before reopening his door and heading down to the lab.

Scratching at his chest, “my core’s just gonna spasm out of my chest if there’s just open beakers everywhere, especially since I could eat, like, a whole ghost horse worth, right about now”. Taking the steps cautiously and groaning as he gets hit with, what is basically a wall of, the acidic lemony scent of ectoplasm. Danny can’t help but twitch his nose, picking up on some of the more unique scents from the different kinds, “lime, grape, chipotle, bitter dark chocolate...jeez just where the hell were they siphoning from?”. Wiping away the slight drooling from his lips, picking up on his cores favourite, “fuck, even cherry cough syrup covered white chocolate and caramel. How dare life tempt me so”. Danny snorts, “well technically it’s death that’s being tempting, but still”.

Hopping down onto the lab floor with fake cheeriness, “what’s cooking? I can practically see the sour green salty aroma in the air”. Danny grumbles to himself as his dad laughs loudly, “still weird all regular humans can smell is sour saltiness”, smirking, “especially when only the lime and sugar scented ones are sour”.

Flopping down on one of the spinning stools, tracing his eyes over at least a hundred different beakers. Whistling, “trad green, bruise green, purple, red, pale blue, and fuchsia? Ya weren’t kidding. The heck was your source?”.

Jack beams, “some island with purple mist coming off it in pillars. There was hundreds of different plants, some even leaked this black ectoplasm!”, Jack animatedly holds up a large beaker of bubbling black ectoplasm, “never even seen this before!”.

Danny scratches his nose to hide his twitching nose, this kind was unfamiliar to him too. Danny mutters into his hand as Jack noisily pushes a bunch of beakers in front of him, “so the Defted lands then? And ripened from the sounds of it”. Which really did explain the strange ectoplasm, no ghosts went the when it was ripened, so there was probably many strange kinds there during the full bloom season.

Danny shifts, core vibrating with longing and curiosity, as he stirs a consistency stick in some red ectoplasm, letting go of the stick to see how long it keeps spinning for. While his dad takes every sample under the sun from the black kind.

Maddie taps his shoulder, looking up at her, “hmmm?”.

She points down at his bare feet, “I know your contamination makes that safe for you, but really? You have fresh socks don’t you?”.

Danny rubs his neck, “I’ve got one clean sock. Don’t know ‘bout socks plural. Besides, like you said, it’s freaking six am”, smirking, “who wears socks at that time”. In truth, Danny had gone with so much skin exposure in the hope of some actually getting spilled on his skin so he could just absorb it or subtly swipe it into his mouth.

Maddie shakes her head before putting down a plate of untoasted bread and a sealed mini-pack of jelly. Danny swirls a beaker lazily, ectoplasm sloshing around, as he spreads the jelly on his bread; genuinely hoping some spills out of the beaker into the jelly. Chuckling, “how did you know I just needed to get hit with some sweet succulent gooey goodness”.

Maddie smirks as she takes a few of the vials Danny’s filled up over to the centrifuge. Danny can’t help frowning slightly, that thing basically made ectoplasm inedible. Well, could still drink it but it’d taste and feel like licking a rusted and corroded spoon. So not exactly pleasant or tasty.

Danny twitches as his dad knocks over one of the beakers, one that Danny had intentionally placed a little too close, onto Danny’s wrist. Splashing purple ectoplasm on his hand, they probably think he’s frowning at the mess but really, he’s frowning because the beaker didn’t break.

Tilting the beaker back upright, “well that didn’t take very long”.

“Here sweetie”.

“Huh?”, Danny looks to the side only for his mom to wipe his hand off. Forcing himself not to sound painfully sarcastic, “that’s just perfect, thanks”. Patting at his hand, “stuff really can look like jello huh? Makes me wonder how many people sneakily eat the jello, when they’re supposed to be ‘working’ during jello wrestling”.

Jack claps him on a back, “thinking of that time you tripped into a blow-up swimming pool we had to inflate to catch all that overflowing ectoplasm, and got a mouth full of the stuff?”. Danny smirks, reminiscing fondly, they had purified the hell out of that stuff. So how could he possibly resist ‘tripping’ to steal a taste.

Maddie shakes her head, “don’t smile! You scared the crap out of us that day!”. Making Danny laugh as he rubs his core some.

The three work well past noon, and Danny’s officially both hungry and hungry. Being perpetually surrounded and bombarded by ectoplasmic aromas was not helping in the slightest. Twirling a few vials around in his fingers and laughing, “imagine if someone just filled one of these with green apple Gatorade and straight-up drank it? That’d be pretty weird, huh?”, as he pushes his wheeled stool over to the microscopes. He could easily see well enough to not need them, but any regular human would need them.

Jack laughs loudly, “that could certainly make for interesting Halloween drinks!”.

Danny smirks, making mental plans before licking his chops as he pulls out little bits of the smaller particles. Core vibrating and making his skin twitch. Sighing as he leans back, glancing at the clock, “the core of me has become the embodiment of hunger”.

Maddie smiles softly, “yes it is about that time isn’t it”, before standing and wiping her hands off on her legs, “any requests?”. Danny’s honestly hoping she forgets to wash her hands/gloves before making dinner. He knows she won’t but a guy can hope can’t he? Grinning goofily, “I have a hankering for green gummy bears and lime Creme pie wouldn’t be too much to ask for would it?”. Earning a chuckle and head shake from Maddie, while she walks up the stairs to make food for everyone.

Jack pushes a few larger beakers in front of Danny, “usually I’m the one harping for food! But you’re a grown man now so it’s expected”.

Danny rubs at his neck as he pours the pale green ectoplasm into smaller vials, intentionally using the vial rack that has cracks and chips in it, in the hopes that it’ll break and spill ectoplasm everywhere. “You better watch out, soon I’ll be taller than you”. Jack just laughs with a wide smile.

Danny’s pressing samples in between microscope slides, little bits squishing over the edges to drip onto his fingers. It looks like it’s glowing brighter than normal but Danny just knows that his core is influencing his brain to be more focused on the ectoplasm; to notice the potential snack easier. Licking off his thumb as Maddie comes down, holding plates of fish and a bottle of vinegar. Maddie kisses Jack, “out of tartar sauce, sorry Jack dear”. Jack waves her off with a laugh and basically dumps vinegar on the fish.

Danny sighs happily as he takes his plate, “perfect because isn’t there like some endless gaping hole that rivers of ectoplasm just flow into? Yeah pretty sure that’s a physical manifestation of my insides right now. Seeing as I’m just positively glowing with hunger right now”.

Jack tilts his head and barks out a laugh, swallowing before speaking, “yes Danny-boy, I'm pretty sure there is!”. While Danny just smiles, knowing full well that the Falls Of Reverlee were very much real. But they were kind of like pitcher plants, tons of ectoplasm but not exactly safe to go inside. Plus there’s was some chemical in it that made the ectoplasm super sticky, which could be kind of funny if you ate the ectoplasm since it would be like getting a mouth full of peanut butter.

The thought just makes his mouth water though, resulting in Danny eyeballing the black ectoplasm as he eats his fish, only lightly soaked in vinegar. Highly tempted to try to dip the fish in ectoplasm as a sauce. The pale green would go wonderfully with just how lemony it was, though the vinegar undertone might be a little overwhelming if mixed with actual vinegar.

Jack notices Danny’s staring and offers him a slide of the back ectoplasm, “you seem curious, why don’t you take a look at it for yourself?”.

Danny has to force his hand to not just snatch the slide and forces down the response of ‘fuck yes, gimme gimme’, and instead says, “sure, it’s strange”.

Jack chuckles and nods, while Danny wheels over to the microscope, doing his damnedest to get some ectoplasm off the slide subtly. Jack speaking while Danny stares down into the microscope, “we’re pretty sure this kind is made by these strange flowers. The stuff was just inside of these sacs hanging off the flowers! If you poke them they just explode!”.

Danny points at his dad, “so like fruit gushers?”, before blinking and lifting up his head, “did you bring back any of the sacs?”.  

Jack nods excitedly and pulls out a container shaped like a tomato, opening it to show six ‘sacs’. Danny blinks, knowing in his gut these were actually seeds. Defted seeds. If cared for properly you could literally make a mini garden of Defted blossoms. Which yes, Zone yes. Ancients he was a blessed man. Danny will, without a doubt, absolutely be stealing one. He’s got no clue how his folks found these, Defted seeds were insanely rare and very very few ever so much as saw one. Mouthing ‘wow’ at his dad before actually speaking, while his core vibrates with aggressive happiness at the prospect of growing and having Defted blossoms nearby, “very strange. Any clues what, exactly, they are?”.

Jack shakes his head almost aggressively as he closes the container, “not a one. Which is why we’re being extra careful with them. Hopefully we only have to damage one to get some kind of idea”. Danny jerks and his core spasms slightly over his folks damaging Defted seeds, but there's nothing he can really do about it.

Danny nods, “hopefully”, before turning back to his microscope, officially even more curious to have even a little of this black ectoplasm. It smelled like a rich thick smoothie and chances are, it’s packed with nutrients.

Danny hands the slide back a bit stiffly, hunger gnawing at his chest and making the ectoplasm in his system jab at his veins and muscles. It was annoying pushing off feeding for this long but his life wasn’t exactly calm or routine. Plus, there was ectoplasm samples around if he really needed to nab some on the fly. Problem now was, he wasn’t alone down here. But he also slightly didn’t care, his folks knew he was goddamn weird and accepted it. They just didn’t know exactly how weird.

Danny manages to knock off one of the black ectoplasm vials, right over the edge of the table. Nabbing it out of the air and swapping it with an empty vial, holding the empty vial out to his dad, “slippery stuff eh?”. Making Jack chuckle as he takes the vial, none the wiser.

While Maddie shakes her head, pipetting up some purple ectoplasm. Danny leans over her and smirks, vial in his back pocket, “would be a lot faster with straws”.

Maddie shakes her head with a smile, “if that was safe and wouldn’t contaminate the samples we just might try something like that”. Making Danny seriously wish saliva, especially his ectocontaminated saliva, didn’t count as contamination.  

Clapping her on the shoulder, “well Imma be right back”, before heading upstairs to the bathroom. Slipping out the vial and spinning it around as soon as he locks the door. Sure, it’s a small amount of ectoplasm but this is more about satisfying curiosity than need.

Swirling it around and sniffing at the milkshake scent again before downing it, tasting strongly of whip cream covered strawberries. Looking in the mirror Danny can see his eyes dilating dramatically and speaking as he just goes to lay on the floor, “oh shit”. Colours pulsating and able to smell the scents of the other ectoplasm samples through the floor. Snorting at the ceiling as he moves his fingers over the tiles, which feel much more defined, “it’s like one of those flavoured liquors but drugged”. His skin felt like someone was pushing really fluffy cotton up against all of it, making him feel comfy and numbed.  

Flipping to stand back up and smirking at his reflection, little lines of black in his blue irises. It’s not like they’ll actually notice, so he slides out of the bathroom with a slight bounce in his step. Feeling light and kind of like dancing, with an undercurrent of hunger.

Danny hops down the final step and glides to sit back in his chair, spinning around some before moving to separate samples again.

Jack hands Danny a fist-sized jar of fuchsia ectoplasm, Danny raises an eyebrow at it before unscrewing the lid, “what? Ran out of regular sample cases so you decided to can it? Now it’s more like jam than jello”, tapping his chin, “honestly, could probably actually can ectoplasm”.

Maddie turns to him and eyeballs the jar, “that would certainly be something to try sweetie, but what would be the point?”.

Danny shrugs as he pours some into a Petri dish to poke at and mix in chemicals, “the idea of ‘just because you can doesn’t mean you should’ is bullshit”.

All three turn to look at the portal, which is firmly a ‘probably shouldn’t have done that’, arguably in a very different way for Danny than his folks.

Stirring around the fuchsia ectoplasm in the petri dish with a metal ectoproof stick, having half the mind to just start stirring it with his fingers instead. Core thrumming and pulsing over the scent of its, of Danny’s, favourite of flavours. While Jack is rolling a little ball of the black kind, testing to see how well it stays together and how bouncy it could be. Hint, very bouncy apparently. Seeing as Danny can’t help but laughing as Jack bounces it off the table only for it bounce into the ceiling and back down somewhat violently, splattering all over the table.

Danny bends over in a show of laughing even harder, but he’s really just hiding his face slightly so he can lick his cheeks off.

While Jack mutters, “woah”, Maddie copying him seconds later. Danny sees why as he lifts his head. Some of the black ectoplasm had landed in a small cup of purple ectoplasm and appeared to be devouring it, making the cup's contents slosh somewhat erratically.

Danny laughs again, “it’s cannibalising itself! Ectoplasm eating ectoplasm! Guess black buddy wanted some dinner too!”, his parents join him in laughing as Danny snorts and laughs into his hand, “maybe it’s saying I need to take a hint and start straight-up cannibalising things myself! And maybe cannibalise a little something else too!”.

Jack shakes his head with a heartily laugh, “that one doesn’t even make sense! But! It works ‘cause ectoplasm eating itself doesn’t make sense either!”.

Danny pats Jack’s arm, “thank you for coming to my voretastic TED talk”. While Maddie begins cleaning up the mess, shaking her head with a smile over Danny’s antics.

Danny turns back to his samples and beaker, core vibrating with hunger and making his skin twitch. Putting the Petri dish to the side and starting on pipetting out ectoplasm to fill tiny vials. Watching the liquid slowly fill up each one with a watering mouth.

Cleaning off the pipet and snapping the lids on the vials closed. Clearing his throat and swallowing thickly, “what else you want with the fuchsia?”.

Jack scratches his chin, shrugging, “nothing specific, so do what you fancy Danny-boy”.

What Danny fancies is straight-up eating the whole damn beaker and stealing all the other samples. That mental image making him chuckle slightly, lips feeling kind of puffy and numb all the while. Poking at the beaker with a slight smirk, honestly it’s not like they actually needed any of these samples; except maybe the black one since that was an unknown and unique.

Glancing at the clock, it was going to be a while before it could be considered night. Before his folks would be finished up and he could just dilly-dally off.

Turning his head back to the beaker and rubbing at his core. Which hums with temptation, the vibrations making him twitch more. Rubbing a hand over his slightly numb cheeks and lips, apparently whatever high that black kind have lasted a while even with such a small amount. Looking back to the clock, “fuck tonight”, before staring down at the beaker, speaking thick with humour, “you know it’s very much happy hour, so it would be pretty on point for someone to start chanting ‘shots shots shots’ right about now”.

Both of them send him confused looks but Jack shrugs, “you’re not wrong. But we are certainly not doing that”.

Danny chuckles as he pokes at the beaker again, “if we got Jell-O shots or some of that colourful liquor, we could even accidentally mix things up”.

Jack blinks and laughs, “that would be worse than mayonnaise in pudding cups!”.

Danny points at him with mock aggression, “hey! Mayonnaise is delicious”, smirking as he twitches almost violently, “and just for that...”.

Danny trails off as he grabs the beaker, mentally says ‘fuck it’, and straight up sloshes back the entire thing. Chugging it almost aggressively before slamming the glass down on the floor, like a mug of beer, while his parents gape at him for drinking that. Danny dramatically shouts, “Opa!”, just as the beaker shatters apart.

Jack pitches sideways, wheezing with laughter. While Maddie blinks at him, looks to the floor and broken glass, looks back up to him, “sweetie, it’s not often I feel the need to say this and know that I mean this with no small amount of love and acceptance, but...what, the, absolute, fuck”.

Danny just grumbles, “you’re supposed to say Mazal tov!”, while his core hums happily and he savours the cherry cough syrup covered white chocolate with a hint of caramel on his tongue.

End.

[purplesurveys]

720

WHO was the last person...

you spoke to, in person? It was my mom. She went down around 20 minutes ago to make a couple of sandwiches for herself and dad. The quarantine has made our body clocks completely bonkers and it’ll be typical to see either parent go downstairs at 12 or 1 in the morning to make a meal.

you called? I rang up Gab fiveish minutes ago so we can do a video call on Messenger.

that called you? My mom called me from downstairs the other day to reprimand me about something I said on Facebook cause she said it might offend some of my relatives lol.

you texted? I haven’t texted in a hot fuckin’ minute. I’ve only been at home in the last month, so there’s been little need to spend on load for my phone when I can communicate with classmates and family from online anyway.

that sent you a text? My dad. He texted me that breakfast was ready so that he didn’t need to go into my bedroom, which I’m highkey thankful for. My mom would just burst into the room, pull up my window shade so the sunlight can come in, and yell in a loud voice so I wake up. It’s never improved my mood in all the times she’s done it so I dunno why she continues doing it.

you kissed? Gab, but that was a month ago ugh.

that kissed you? Also her.

you yelled at? My mom. She was yelling at me, so I yelled at her as well because two can play at that game now.

that yelled at you? ^

you watched a movie with? I watched Two for the Road by myself last night but as for companions, the last one I had was Gabie when we watched Titanic a few months ago.

you ate dinner with? My family. We eat dinner together every night, at least whenever my dad is back home in the country.

you were in a photo with? Also family. I haven’t been in a photo with anyone other than them in a while...

you took a photo of? That would be my dog. I don’t take photos of people these days, mostly because I’m unable to.

you went to a concert with? I went to my Paramore gig by myself since I couldn’t find anyone who had front row seats like me, but on the day of the concert itself, Denise, Erycka, and Leigh (who were all also going to the show but got cheaper seats) asked to hitch a ride with me. Gabie was also present but that’s only because she was excited for me and wanted to be around for that experience of mine.

you lied to? Probably a schoolmate that I had told I was busy even though I wasn’t and I just didn’t want to work that time.

you invited somewhere? I think Blanch? I told her we should go to Ayala Museum once we can go out again so she can see the prehistoric gold exhibit that they have.

you dated? Just my current girlfriend.

you dumped? I haven’t dumped anyone.

you rejected? Uh... technically Mike. There weren’t any words said, no closure or whatever, but I think we both knew and understood that he liked me but I let him find out for himself that I had already gotten back with my ex. Back then I was still horrible at the confrontation thing and didn’t know how to break it to him.

you held hands with? Gab, over a month ago.

you hugged? Same answer.

you let cry on your shoulder? Egh, I’m only mentally capable of doing this for Gabie. I can let people rant to me but it’s personally not good for my own mental health if I had people crying to me all the time.

that let you cry on their shoulder? Technically it was my dog. But the last person was either Angela or Gab, I don’t really remember.

you bought a gift for? I don’t remember aaaahhhhh. It was probably a Valentine’s gift though.

you wished a happy birthday? Luisa.

that disappointed you? Some distant relative who had recently added me on Facebook then, only for me to see her pro-government posts. I never unfriended someone so quickly.

that stayed over at your place? Ralph, my sister’s now ex-boyfriend. Never liked the guy and am so glad they broke up, I never did like seeing him around in our house hah. that let you crash at their place? Gabie, but only to have dinner and work. that made you angry? My mom told me personal insults over a chore I did wrong a few days ago and it made me really angry. that complimented you? Andrew and I exchanged compliments when we needed pick-me-ups sometime last week. whom you complimented? ^ you thanked? My dad, when I saw him baking chocolate chip cookies a while ago after I had nagged him all week to make some. that thanked you? Mom. She asked me to fetch her something. you saw, in person? Right now I can see my sister on the couch. I think she’s watching an anime or playing some game on her laptop. that bought you something? Now hasn’t really been the time to ask for non-essential stuff, but my dad did buy me my requested soju a few weeks ago. that made you laugh? My sister I think? My family watched an online mass livestream earlier and my mom wanted to try out an American Catholic church after my grand-aunt (who lives in the States) recommended that specific parish. ANYWAY so of course their accent was very different to what we’re used to, and my sister’s fazed reaction to how they said one of the words made me laugh. that you said you loved? Gab. that said they loved you? My mom. you flipped off? Haven’t done this to anyone in a whiiiiileeeeee. you made a silly face at? It would always be just my dog but person-wise I don’t even remember anymore. that drove you somewhere? Dad drove me and my mom to the local columbarium last month.

WHAT was the last thing you...

touched? Other than the keyboard and trackpad, I used a spoon to eat some of the raw cookie dough my dad had prepared heh.

threw? Second day I’m trying to finish this survey lol. I just took the last piece of painkillers to treat my headache, so I threw the packaging like 30 seconds ago.

ate? Shrimp pasta that my mom made for dinner.

drank? Coffee.

found stuck in your teeth? Idk, bits of food that I don’t really keep track of.

cooked? :( Never cooked a full meal ever but the last thing I *helped* my dad with was breading the meat he was gonna use to make pork chop haha.

baked? Chocolate chip cookies two years ago. I remember it distinctly because I never bake.

bought? Man I haven’t bought anything in forever. I’m thinking about it and it’s probably something I bought for lunch at school? The only thing I buy is food anyway so I’m pretty sure I’m at least on the right track.

sold? I'm not much of an entrepreneur. 

took a photo of? My dog with a cold compress on top of his head. The weather is starting to be unforgiving so I’ve been allotting my own compress for Kimi so that he doesn’t feel overheated.

were frustrated with? My mom telling us we had to watch a mass livestream this morning -_____- I thought she was only gonna make us ‘attend’ the Lenten masses i.e. Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday, but it’s past Lent and she’s still making us do it. I’m guessing it’s gonna be routine every Sunday now, ugh.

broke? I don’t tinker much for the very reason that I tend to break everything I touch. That being said, I haven’t broken anything in a while.

spilled? I have a fear of spilling stuff because my mom has always reacted negatively to that. Yay for trauma!

tripped on? A piece of bone that my dog had left on the floor. It felt like stepping on a goddamn Lego.

kicked? My blanket when I started feeling too warm inside my room.

put batteries in? I haven’t used batteries in ages.

turned on? I opened my laptop to continue this survey.

turned off? My Nintendo Switch, when I didn’t feel like playing anymore.

wrote? A survey, if anything. I haven’t had to write anything ever since they suspended online classes.

wrote on? I think it was my sister’s notebook.

cleaned? Myself? I just took a bath if that counts.

WHERE was the last place you...

dined at? I’m pretty sure it was Yabu. Gab and I went out for dinner on the last Monday before the lockdown, didn’t see each other all week, then by Saturday when we saw each other again we just had dinner at her place. So it’s gotta be Yabu.

ordered something to go? A local sushi place and a local pizza place, a week ago. My dad was too lazy to cook that evening so we got takeout instead.

bought something? The local milk tea place that we have in school and Rodic’s. I got myself milk tea, and I got my dad my favorite meal from Rodic’s, tapsilog.

cried? My room, I think.

felt uncomfortable? Just the house cause I haven’t been anywhere in a month.

drove to? My girlfriend’s school and then her house.

had an appointment at? Eye doctor at SM Marikina.

went on vacation? Tagaytay and then we moved to Cavite the day after so that we got to maximize the time that we had to have a staycation.

hung out with a friend? The 30th. Ughhhhh I miss the mall.

bought clothes? Feliz, at an independent clothing stall at one of the top floors.

spent more than you had planned? Feliz then I even had the audacity to move to The 30th to spend more lmaooooo AND THAT WAS A MONDAY. I was so bad at saving money skksks.

saw a band/singer/musician perform? One of the local arenas in Manila so I can watch Paramore.

WHEN was the last time you...

told someone 'I love you'? A little over an hour ago I think.

cried? I don’t remember.

laughed? A few hours ago, maybe? I always laugh when I come across a dumb meme on Facebook.

left your home? March 10th. Really not a good time to be asking that question lol.

drank a soda/pop? Sometime in February when my org had an event and the only drink being served was Coke. I was extremely hungry/thirsty that evening so I had no problem chugging soda down, even though it was so unpleasant.

made your bed? This morning.

visited a doctor? March 9th.

went to the emergency room? I’ve never had to go to the emergency room except for the time I was being delivered.

kissed someone? The last weekend before the lockdown. Man, I had no idea how lame/sad my answers were going to be lmaooo I really should have thought that through before starting a “when was the last time you” survey.

hugged someone? Also a month ago. I’m not a hugger in the family but I do hug my friends a lot.

prayed? Sometime when I was 9 or 10 years old.

worked out? Last semester when my PE was actually focused on working out instead of a sport.

made a phone call? This afternoon. My mom got me load for my phone (after a month of not having any!!!) just because, so I surprised Gab by calling her.

answered a phone? Last night.

had an argument? A few days ago.

played a video game? A little over an hour ago. I was playing Mario Kart 8.

played a card game? It wasn’t necessarily a card game but last January at Rita’s place, she took out a deck, asked us to pick certain cards, and then told us about our relationships and the issues that lurk beneath it based on the cards that were left hahahaha. Of course I think the strategy itself is bullshit but Rita speaks well and is a psych student, so we still ended up having a good conversation after hearing the verdict for mine.

played a board game? Ages ago. I can’t even tell you how long it’s been.

rode a bike? Around a month ago. I told myself I was gonna learn how to ride a bike during the quarantine, but it’s been so hot outside these days that it’s so easy to run out of enthusiasm for it.

fell on your butt? I don’t remember.

took a shower? In the last hour.

took a bubble bath? A year ago, maybe longer.

watched TV? I asked dad to watch El Camino with me on my his and my mom’s TV when it came out, so that would be last October.

saw a movie at a theater? December. It was for Knives Out.

ate fast food? 3-4 weeks ago if I’m not mistaken.

ordered a pizza? A couple of weeks ago. We tried Angel’s Pizza for a change and it turned out to be loads better than Pizza Hut which tends to be our usual.

made someone laugh? I probably made a few people laugh off of the few memes I shared today, so there’s that.

sang? Like a half hour ago. Hayley from Paramore shared a clip of the band performing Hard Times to celebrate the song turning 3 and it turns out the gig was from their show in Manila, so I hurriedly clicked on the video and sang along.

played a musical instrument? It’s been many months since I last used the keyboard.

read a book? A month-ish ago.

drove a car? My dad asked me to move my car to a different spot sometime last week, which felt so surreal as I hadn’t driven in a few weeks. It felt so weird driving again and I had to drive in a crawl to get accustomed to being in the driver’s seat again.

went swimming? August 2019, at a beach in Nasugbu.

got a sunburn? Haven’t gotten a sunburn since I was little.

went to church or temple? First week of March.

went shopping? I don’t really remember but it was one of the last few weekends before the lockdown.

drank alcohol? Two weeks ago.

smoked a cigarette? Sometime in March, the same night when my friends and I went to BGC to party. When everyone else went home, Gab and I stayed for a bit, strolled around The Palace, and had a smoke while watching everyone else around us get crazy wasted.

threw up? Sometime last year. I haven’t drunk too much recently.

had a headache? Tonight.

had a cold? Maybe last year or a couple of years ago. I don’t get colds a lot.

had the flu? Probably not since I was little. I’ve gotten fevers in the last few years but that was all there was to it. I’ve never been sick and had cough and colds at the same time, at least not for a very long time.

had your hair cut? A week before the lockdown -____- Barely anyone got to see my bangs and I’ll always be disappointed about that hahaha.

dyed your hair? Never.

laughed so hard that you cried? I remember watching a hilarious clip on Facebook of this lady who had a contagious fucking laugh, I think it was a week ago or a little over that.

[ceciliatan]

Duck Day 2019 Menu and Recipes

Our thanksgiving-day extravaganza is done, and as usual I’m posting a blog entry for posterity and my own reference so I can find these things again if I need them. :-)

We’ve done “Asian fusion” many times–it’s kind of corwin and my culinary wheelhouse–but this is the first time we really incorporated more filipino flavors.

First, the menu:

2019 Duck Day: Tour of the Eastern Rim of the Pacific (Tokyo, Shanghai, Manila, Palu)

“Sinigang” Amuse Tomato Dashi & Sake (Kubota Hekijyu junmai daiginjo) with a dehydrated mushroom chip powdered shoyu powdered tamarind

“Pu-Pu Platter” with Scorpion Bowl Curry puff with curry mayo Lumpia (traditional filipino fried spring rolls) Chicken wings with candied ginger and orange Pickles: honshimeji mushroom, yuzu-pickled napa Assortment of dipping sauces

“Adobo” served with Sapporo Premium duck confit adobo style (with soy, vinegar, garlic and ginger) with a duck-fat crisped potato and adobo-style vinaigrette tossed peas topped with crispy garlic

Zhajiang Mian (fried sauce noodle) homemade chewy wheat noodle with ground duck and bean paste sauce With shochu oolong hi-ball

Duck a l’kalamansi (filipino bitter orange) with Trimbach Reserve Gewurtzraminer Rice two ways Steamed bok choy and a caramel vinegar gastrique

Palate cleanser Yuzu sorbet with finger lime caviar, served with Kikusui Perfect Snow unfiltered sake

Dessert Saikyo miso ice cream With almond brown butter Sablé cookies Puffed rice And hot chocolate

Tea, Coffee, and Mignardise candied ginger almond coconut mango-marmalade thumbprint cookies almond brown-butter-chocolate cookies

Every year there ends up being something we forgot to serve. This year it was the matchstick carrots and cucumber that were supposed to garnish the zhajiang noodle! Ah well.

“Sinigang” Amuse

Tomato Dashi & Sake (Kubota Hekijyu junmai daiginjo) with a dehydrated mushroom chip powdered shoyu powdered tamarind

This dish combines two things. One is the idea of sinigang, which is a filipino tamarind-flavored stew/soup that often has fish, tomato, and onion. The other is the technique of mixing sake with a hot, intense broth to delicious effect. We learned this trick one wet, cold rainy afternoon while out day drinking with a chef friend-of-a-friend in the Akabane area of Tokyo. One of the places he took us was an oden (stewed fishball & tofu) shop where you could buy a one-cup sake. When you drank half your sake, for ten yen you could get them to top up the glass with the oden broth.

corwin made the broth by starting with our home-canned smoked tomato water (already one of the most umami-intense things we have), simmering it with kombu and bonito flakes to make it tomato dashi, and then going over to a friend/s house to borrow his Spinzall (food centrifuge) to clarify it.

For the tamarind flavor we put tamarind powder on the plate for folks to rim their glasses with. We also gave them the soup and the sake separately to mix as they liked. And also some powdered soy sauce we got as a parting gift at one of the fancy restaurants we ate at in Kyoto: Shimogamo Saryo.

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Some of the delights of #duckday2019

A post shared by Regis (@rmd1023) on Nov 28, 2019 at 9:49pm PST

“Pu-Pu Platter” with Scorpion Bowl Curry puff with curry mayo Lumpia (traditional filipino fried spring rolls) Chicken wings with candied ginger and orange Pickles: honshimeji mushroom, yuzu-pickled napa Assortment of dipping sauces

Curry Puff corwin made the curry puff (karipap), startingwith making his own curry powder. He didn’t use the karipap recipe in Asian Dumplings but instead used his own biscuit dough recipe and it worked beautifully.

Lumpia It was my first time making lumpia. Lumpia is one of those foods that was at every filipino party we went to when I was growing up, but my family was never the one that made them. (We brought the pancit or the dessert.) It was traditional for the aunties to complain about what a pain they are to make, though. Well, now I know what they mean, but it is SO WORTH IT.

This is by far the weirdest dumpling skin or wrapper I’ve made yet. Andrea Nguyen’s ASIAN DUMPLINGS is my go-to book–she hasn’t steered me wrong, yet. The technique for making these involved picking up the entire blob of wet dough in your hand and them blopping it onto a slightly hot pan, and the smear you leave on the pan IS THE LUMPIA WRAPPER.

What I learned is if the pan is too hot is that it just sears the ball of dough in your hand but it doesn’t stick to the pan. This is bad. And if the pan isn’t hot enough, then it doesn’t work either. So there is a very narrow window where it works. I had to turn the burner on and off between each one and also dribble a little extra water into the dough before each one. What would work is I would make one, and when the pan was the right heat, the wrapper would release, and this would mean it was now the right heat for the next one to be made. I would turn off the heat, make the next one, let it cool for a few seconds in the pan and then have to heat it back up again to release it and be ready for the next one.

Here’s Andrea Nguyen’s short video on how to do it:

The filling I used was similar to the recipe in Asian Dumplings, but I replaced the carrot and bean with water chestnuts (and the ground meat was duck). If I do it again I’ll probably use pork and up the intensity of the spices/salt/fish sauce. It could use dried shrimp in the sauce.

Chicken Wings with Candied Ginger and Orange This was one of those ideas I had one day while we were out and I made a note in my phone months ago: what if instead of just having a chicken wing that was honey-glazed and chewy you could take that to the next level by having actual bits of candied ginger and candied orange rind in the glaze? I tested it last week and was very pleased with the results.

Although I candied my own ginger for the mignardise in this meal, I used some that I had bought at Cambridge Naturals for this recipe, and the candied orange rinds were some fancy artisanal ones corwin picked up at Formaggio. But I think Trader Joe’s or whatever would work just as well.

The first step is oven-frying the chicken wings as detailed by J. Kenji Lopez-Alt at Serious Eats (as in this recipe: https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2015/01/hot-and-numbing-oven-fried-xian-chicken-wings-recipe.html)

I ran tests last week where I tried both spicing them with a technique as described in the Serious Eats article (toss the crispy wings in oil and then in a spice mix) and also by tossing them in a glaze. Turned out the way we liked them best was tossed in the spices and THEN dipped in the glaze separately. That was a little impractical for a large dinner party so I settled for brushing them with glaze and then sprinkling the chopped bits of candied ginger and orange rind on them. By not coating them completely in glaze, they retain more crispness.

Glaze: 1 cup orange juice 1 cup water quarter to half cup yuzu marmalade or other citrus marmalade quarter to half cup apple cider vinegar 1/8 to quarter cup brown sugar powdered ginger minced garlic

I am a little loose on the quantities in the glaze recipe because I think it really depends on how sweet the orange juice is and how sour the vinegar is — you just have to taste it to see if it’s what you want.

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Second course: “pu pu platter with scorpion bowl”. I reinvented the chicken wing for this, with candied ginger and orange rind. Curried duck puffs. And fried lumpia with ground duck and shrimp filling (Filipino spring rolls) which are the fiddliest thing I’ve ever made! But damn they came out great! #duckday2019

A post shared by Cecilia Tan (@ctan_writer) on Nov 28, 2019 at 10:18pm PST

“Adobo” served with Sapporo Premium duck confit adobo style (with soy, vinegar, garlic and ginger) with a duck-fat crisped potato and adobo-style vinaigrette tossed peas topped with crispy garlic

Adobo is a filipino dish that has more variations than there are islands. The common element seems to be the combination of soy, vinegar, and garlic. Some have curry powder, some have ginger, etc. Some stew chicken and pork together, some are just chicken. My family’s adobo was usually chicken, potatoes, and green beans, stewed together in soy and vinegar with garlic (and served over white rice).

To deconstruct it, corwin confit’ed duck legs sous vide with soy-vinegar-garlic-ginger in the bags. Then he shredded the meat and crisped it in cast iron, and served it with an adobo-flavored reduction, topped with crispy garlic. I boiled the potatoes in advance, then crushed them slightly to give them crisp edges roasted in duck fat. The beans in the dish I replaced by making a mix of bias-cut fresh snap peas and fresh snow peas tossed in a soy-vinegar-ginger-garlic vinaigrette.

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Deconstructed Filipino adobo. Confit duck with a soy-vinegar reduction and crispy garlic, duck fat crisped potato, and fresh snap pea in adobo-style vinaigrette #duckday2019

A post shared by Cecilia Tan (@ctan_writer) on Nov 28, 2019 at 10:21pm PST

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Poultry differently. #duckday2019

A post shared by Liz LaManche (@liz_lamanche) on Nov 29, 2019 at 10:55am PST

Zhajiang Mian (fried sauce noodle) homemade chewy wheat noodle with ground duck and bean paste sauce With shochu oolong hi-ball

Normally we do a lot of wine pairings, but a lot of wines just don’t pair with these strong and tangy flavors as well as other alcohols do.

For this one we made Chu-hi, which is the Japanese shochu high ball, using dark pearl oolong tea and a whiskey-like shochu called Gokoo that we first had at Momi Nonmi in Cambridge a couple of weeks ago. (It’s seriously great if you’re a whiskey drinker.)

For the wheat noodle we ended up borrowing a pasta extruding machine from our friends David and Diane. What was funny is when corwin ran our test, he made the dough way too dry, so the noodles came out very rough and odd-looking. But they were so tasty and the chewiness was really good, so we decided to just keep going and use them in the meal.

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Noodle extrusion experiment. I think the pasta is too dry….?

A post shared by Cecilia Tan (@ctan_writer) on Nov 25, 2019 at 9:53pm PST

The sauce I sort of improvised on some zhajiang mian recipes but I wanted something somewhat spicier to highlight the duck. (Among the ones I looked at: Woks of Life, China Sichuan Food.)

Sauce: 1 lb. ground meat — let sit in 1 tablespoon corn starch, 1 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp white pepper, 1 tablespoon oil 15 minutes before starting

6 slices ginger, minced 6 cloves garlic, minced 6-10 fresh shiitake, chopped/minced

1/4 cup sweet bean paste 1/4 to 1/2 cup ground bean paste 1 tablespoon chili bean paste

1/3 cup dark soy sauce 1 cup water

Soften the ginger and garlic in the oil and then brown the meat. Add the mushrooms after a minute or two, and once the meat is no longer pink, add all the wet ingredients and stir together to combine. Let simmer 15 minutes. Then add 1/2 cup water with 1 TBS cornstarch dissolved in it to thicken. If still too thin, simmer 5 more minutes.

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Zhajiang “fried sauce” noodles – homemade thick wheat noodle with ground duck and bean paste sauce. So happy with how this came out! #duckday2019

A post shared by Cecilia Tan (@ctan_writer) on Nov 28, 2019 at 10:24pm PST

This was the dish where I forgot the garnish! I have all these matchstick cut carrots and cucumber and I forgot entirely to put them on the plate! There’s always SOMETHING that gets left off.

Duck a l’kalamansi (filipino bitter orange) with Trimbach Reserve Gewurtzraminer Rice two ways Steamed bok choy and a caramel vinegar gastrique

This is basically duck a l’orange, which we’ve never done in all these years of making duck. Typically this comes out too sweet because people use regular oranges instead of bitter oranges. corwin ordered a bunch of kalamansi (filipino bitter orange) online, though, when he was getting our now-nnual yuzu order. This is also when he picked up the finger limes for the palate cleanser.

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Duck a l’orange done Peking style with calamansi oranges for a Filipino touch. #duckday2019

A post shared by Cecilia Tan (@ctan_writer) on Nov 28, 2019 at 10:25pm PST

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Yin yang rice. One of the elements of one of the courses. #duckday2019

A post shared by Cecilia Tan (@ctan_writer) on Nov 28, 2019 at 10:03pm PST

Palate cleanser Yuzu sorbet with finger lime caviar, served with Kikusui Perfect Snow unfiltered sake

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Palate cleanser! Yuzu slush with Australian finger lime caviar! And an unfiltered sake

#duckday2019

A post shared by Cecilia Tan (@ctan_writer) on Nov 28, 2019 at 10:28pm PST

Dessert Saikyo miso ice cream With almond brown butter Sablé cookies Puffed rice And hot chocolate

This dessert was inspired directly by Chris Chung at Momi Nonmi, who serves a saikyo miso ice cream regularly and damn, it’s good. Saikyo is a sweet miso, but it’s also salty, and the result is sort of like a butterscotch or salted caramel flavor. corwin made the ice cream and I made the almond brown butter sable cookies, and crisped the rice.

The crispy rice topping was probably the most work. You have to cook it three times: first you just cook the rice. Then spread it in pan and bake it until it’s dry (around 45 minutes at 250 degrees, IIRC), and then you deep fry it in small batches and spread on paper towels to dry. It kept crispy in an air tight container with some silica gel packs for a few days just fine.

The brown butter sables took some experimenting but I settled on was not only incorporating brown butter into the sable dough, but brushing the tops of the cookies before baking. Otherwise the brown butter flavor was too subtle. I made these by rolling a quarter of the dough into a log shape, letting it chill, and then slicing the log into circles.

I then used the other quarter dough to make these almond chocolate mignardise. (And the other half is still in the fridge waiting for me to do something with…)

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Inventing cookie recipes when I can’t find the exact thing I’m imagining. #duckday2019

A post shared by Cecilia Tan (@ctan_writer) on Nov 26, 2019 at 7:32pm PST

Tea, Coffee, and Mignardise candied ginger almond coconut mango-marmalade thumbprint cookies almond brown-butter-chocolate cookies

Candied ginger: I used Alton Brown’s recipe. If I do it again I’ll cut the ginger thicker.

Almond coconut mango-marmalade thumbprint cookies (GLUTEN FREE!) — I based these on this recipe by Texan Erin: https://ift.tt/34ySMcx Using the Trader Joe’s Virgin Coconut Oil gives them a really strong coconut flavor and scent.

I made the mango marmalade by taking yuzu marmalade we already had, and a mango that corwin’s mother mailed us from her yard in Florida that we had in the freezer (she sends a whole box and we don’t always get to eating them all before they start to go too soft). The frozen mango flesh doesn’t even need to be pureed — it’s basically mush — so I just cooked it down with the marmalade and a little extra sugar to combine them and thicken up.

These stay soft. They might have been slightly crisp at the edges right from the oven but they soften as they sit. Still delicious.

That’s all I can think of! Now I can close all my recipe tabs!

from cecilia tan https://ift.tt/2q3BVzo via IFTTT

[booklover277]

Cravings: Hungry for More by: Chrissy Teigen

5 stars out of 5

After the extraordinary success of Cravings, Chrissy Teigen comes back with more of her signature wit and take-no-prisoners flavor bombs. Cravings: Hungry for More takes us further into Chrissy’s kitchen…and life. It’s a life of pancakes that remind you of blueberry pie, eating onion dip with your glam squad, banana bread that breaks the internet, and a little something called Pad Thai Carbonara. After two years of parenthood, falling in love with different flavors, and relearning the healing power of comfort food, this book is like Chrissy’s new edible diary: recipes for quick-as-a-snap meals; recipes for lighter, brighter, healthier-ish living; and recipes that, well, are gonna put you to bed, holding your belly. And it will have you hungry for more.

Release Date: September 18, 2018

Before I get started..I'd like to just inform you that this cookbook is outstanding. My expectations have been reached and then some. And I had very high expectations, btw. Chrissy Teigen remains the cooking goddess she is and this cookbook will become a kitchen staple for me, just like her first cookbook. I know I'll be using the recipes over and over. I cannot wait to keep the cooking going. So far..and this is since the release (which was last Tuesday)..I have made four recipes from this book. And all four were delicious. My sister made two others and they were also delicious. I'd say we're on a roll. And now what follows can probably be described as a rant of my love for Chrissy Teigen's cookbooks. I'll let you know which recipes I've made and how this book compares to the last one. Let's go!

Okay, so I've already written a raving review of her first cookbook, Cravings. It became my all-time favorite cookbook. I've never made so many recipes out of a single cookbook. I'm telling you..her tastebuds are in sync with mine or something. Or maybe I should stop thinking the world revolves around me and realize the book is called Cravings, so no shit is it going to be delicious to most people. I suppose I'll update that review eventually with the recipes I've made, but it'll get ridiculous because I've really worked my way through it.

I spent the entire time since the release of the first waiting for the release of her second. I'm one of those people who followed her blog before the cookbooks happened. After the blog stopped, I remember loving watching the process of Chrissy making her first cookbook. This time around..she didn't seem to document it nearly as much, which I found disappointing. I still need something to fulfill the void of waiting for Chrissy's blog posts because it took over 2 and a half years for this second cookbook to come out.

Now...it is a great cookbook. This time around..it is once again cravings, although because she is now a mom there are a few differences. She opted for "lighter food" this time around, which let's be real..there is still tons of cheese and bacon and all types of good stuff throughout. But compared to the first book, there are less of those foods that seem like straight indulgences. Still...very similar in ways too. Meaning..if you enjoyed the first book, you will definitely once again enjoy this one.

The other difference here is, once again because she is a mom, time has become an even more precious thing. So there are things that she takes shortcuts on, while also admitting it along the way. For her jerk lamb chops, she says to buy jerk seasoning ready from the store but notes that if this were her first cookbook, she would have given the recipe to make it yourself from scratch. This is true because there's a recipe in her first book involving cajun seasoning and sure enough, she gives you the recipe to make that from scratch. I'm torn on how to feel about this because yes, I am a major lover of saving time. I love getting the option of how to do things a little quicker when it doesn't make a difference in the finished product. However, I do like to get told how to do something, so I can make the decision myself if it was worth it. She could have included a brief put salt, pepper, this, this, and this and you'd have the seasoning. But it's fine. Not the biggest deal. And again, it's something I'm torn on.

This book has a couple sections that weren't in the first book, such as a dessert section. Chrissy isn't much of a sweet person, so it's not cakes, cookies & brownies. This one has a banana bread, soft pretzels, two-faced cobbler, mango sorbet, homemade magic shell, mousse, and skillet peanut butter chocolate chip blondies (UH...YES PLEASE).

Also, there is an entire sandwich section, which includes a couple grilled cheeses I need..the jalapeño-parmesan crusted grilled cheese and sweet & spice peach & brie grilled cheese. Oh and the philly french dip she makes with more of a cheese sauce au jus. There is just so much. I probably shouldn't just list every recipe in the book. Although, if you get a chance..it wouldn't hurt to check out the table of contents.

Plus...this time there is a potatoes & their friends section. POTATOES!! Yeah..my stomach is pleased. It has plenty of potato dishes among other veggie dishes. I made the Tators, Shrooms, & Peas with parmesan cream from this section. And it was SO GOOD!!! My husband and I were both in heaven. It was more filling than we expected, so next time it'll be a main and we'll add diced ham to it. The parmesan cream was so good that we'll definitely use it with other dishes. I'm thinking it'll be good with pasta.

This time around I didn't find the Thai Mom section quite so intimidating. It probably helped that I got blue apron for six weeks this summer when Chrissy had a partnership. A few of the dishes were from the thai section of the first book and they were absolutely delectable. I get why I was freaked out by ingredients like fish sauce, oyster sauce, hoisin, sweet chili sauce, sambal oelek ..really just things I wasn't used to cooking with. Nor did I see how these ingredients would all mix together to become something heavenly. Garlic is also pretty common in the thai section. I love garlic, though. Anyway, this time around I found myself excited to make these authentic Thai dishes. Last night, we had the Thai soy-garlic fried ribs and OH BABY. Yes, they were ridiculously easy, but oh so tasty. I never knew ribs could be cooked so quickly and there was this nice crisp to them that ribs don't usually have, but I lived for it. Definitely making these again. I cannot believe Chrissy considered not including this one in the book because of how easy it is. It's a keeper. And not something you'd think to do yourself.

I also went into the breakfast section and made the Everything Bagel Breakfast Bake. So good!! It was kind of like a breakfast casserole, but there were chunks of bagel in it that didn't taste fully like bagel by the time they cooked and soaked in the egg mixture. They were much softer. And there were cream cheese bombs throughout. This was a good one for sure! I made mine with mushrooms instead of tomatoes because I'm not a tomato person. And I'll do it this same way again in the future when I want a breakfast casserole with everything bagel type flavoring. Yum!

I finally understand why people call Chrissy a soup master! I have been DYING to try her pot pie soup from the first book. Honestly, I only haven't made it yet because for the longest time I could not find heavy cream in the store. Finally this summer, I FOUND IT!! It's only at one grocery store in my area. So I will make that one in the next month. For now, I needed to make something from her new book. I opted for the French Onion Soup. I'll be honest..I'd never had french onion soup before. I really love onions, though. This one was a major winner. And I feel talented for being able to say I can make it. Not too difficult. Hardest part was getting through cutting all those onions without crying my eyes out. But this beautiful soup turned out sooo tasty. It was oh so cheesy and there were croissant croutons in it that became doughy and just OOOH! You know what I mean? Yeah..this is a major winner.

I guess it's good I've only made the four recipes so far because this review would go on and on. Luckily for you, I didn't have all the time in the world so I'll be making more this weekend.

There is also a salad section, snack section, and supper section which actually has mains & sides tacked on to several of the dishes giving us more side recipes than what is included in potatoes & their friends.

I will say that her introduction to the book and the intros to all the recipes have a great layer of humor. Her stories are fun and will make you laugh out loud. She also talks about how she went through postpartum between books (and babies) and how that affected her/this book. She reminds us she is only human, and a relatable one at that.

There are photos of almost every recipe, but a couple might be missing and that bothers me. I like to see what the outcome of what I'm making should look like at the end. Not to mention, you want to see how tasty a dish looks to decide if you want to make it. I'll still make everything in this book regardless.

So there you have it...delicious recipes from Chrissy Teigen. Food that will make you look like a pro in the kitchen when you have a dinner party. Highly recommended to anyone looking for a cookbook with food they actually want to eat.

goodreads

order on book depository

[sawcolor91-blog]

15+ Freezer Meals to Make Before Having a Baby or Surgery

15+ healthy and delicious freezer meals to make and freeze before having a baby or surgery! Gluten-free, easy to make, and satisfying too.

IT’S BABY WEEK!!!

So wild to finally be able to say that! On one hand I feel like I’ve been pregnant for-ev-er, on the other hand I keep asking myself – how are we already here? Either way, this family of four is ready to become a party of five. Baby sis’ room is ready (she’ll be sleeping bedside for at least 3 months but Type-A here wanted everything ready anyway,) my hospital bags are packed, and we officially traded our cool card in for a minivan – a swap I’ve never been so excited to make.

Three words: STOW AND GO. Ok three more: POWDER SLIDING DOORS! I’m never going back. Ben is horrified.

In contrast to our large, empty van trunk, my freezer is filled to the brim with meals to thaw and eat post-baby. I didn’t prepare freezer meals prior to having Lincoln and really regretted it. Ben and I survived on so much Chipotle those chaotic weeks post-birth that it wasn’t even funny. Do you know how many Chipotle burrito bowls it takes to be considered unfunny? A lot, because that ish is good.

That said, I learned my lesson with Cameron and stocked our freezer with soups, snacks, and crock pot “freezer kits” prior to having him. Knowing I didn’t have to drag my butt to the store with a toddler + newborn more often then I had to, and more importantly make the decision as to what to whip up for dinner for quite some time, was life saving. I highly recommend that any expecting parent or heck, anyone preparing to be down and out for awhile after having surgery, etc., prep/cook/freeze as many meals as possible in advance.

That said, today I’m sharing 15+ of my favorite freezer meals to make before having a baby, surgery, etc. Not only are these recipes comforting, nourishing, and EASY, but they’re simple to multiply if you choose. For instance, you can make one Crock Pot White Chicken Chili freezer kit just as easily as you can make 10.

A couple years ago I wrote a big, comprehensive post on 50+ Gluten-Free Freezer-Friendly Recipes that you may want to check out as well. Not only does this post contain, yep, 50+ GF/FF recipes, but also freezing tips and what does/doesn’t typically freeze well. My two most important takeaways from that post are:

Do not freeze warm/hot meals – cool them completely in the fridge before freezing.

Thaw meals or freezer kits in the refrigerator 24 hours prior to re-warming/cooking vs cooking frozen or thawing on the counter.

With that, I’m officially signing off until baby girl arrives! One thing I also didn’t do after having Lincoln was take any sort of maternity leave (literally I blogged from the hospital – WHYYYYYYYY??) Taking time off to rest and recuperate after having Cameron was what I needed both mentally and physically at that time, and I plan to do the same with baby girl. Ben, the boys and I appreciate and cherish all of your well wishes, prayers, and excitement, and can’t wait to introduce our DAUGHTER to you! Until then…

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Crock Pot White Chicken Chili

Crock Pot White Chicken Chili is my favorite freezer recipe not only because it’s one of my favorite recipes in general, but also because you can freeze the chili after it’s been fully cooked then cooled, or as a “freezer kit” which is what I usually do.

Add everything but the broth, lime, milk and flour into a freezer bag then seal and freeze flat. Thaw overnight in the fridge then dump everything into the crock pot with the broth and lime juice and cook per usual. (Psst: I almost always skip the milk/flour step in this recipe and it’s totally fine.) Serve with tortilla chips and you’re set!

Click here for the recipe >

Crock Pot Black Bean and Rice Soup

Crock Pot Black Bean and Rice Soup is hearty and healthy – an excellent, nourishing meal to eat post-baby. Again, you can freeze this soup after it’s been cooked/cooled (wait to add the rice until the day you eat,) or make into a freezer kit minus the broth and cook fresh the day of.

Click here for the recipe >

Frozen Breakfast Burritos

An oldie but goodie recipe here on IGE! Frozen Breakfast Burritos are the bomb.com. Use your favorite fillings and tortillas then roll and wrap a bunch of these to stash in the freezer and pull out anytime you need a hot and hearty breakfast that only requires 1 hand to eat. I LOVE this recipe.

Click here for the recipe >

Signature Spicy Smoky Sweet Chili

The one, the only Signature Spicy Smoky Sweet Chili! This recipe freezes extremely well and it’s not only great for cool nights, but for game day too – just good to have in the freezer! Plus you can serve it in a variety of ways – in a bowl with cheese and tortilla chips of course, or over hot dogs, cooked pasta, cooked spaghetti squash, etc. Such a delicious, comforting treat to have when you’re super, super tired.

Click here for the recipe >

Mini Corn Dog Muffins

File Mini Corn Dog Muffins under: “totally fine for Mom to devour”, but also: “my kids are starving and I need something nearly instant, fun, and filling to serve them”! Bake/cool then freeze these adorable bites on a sheet pan then transfer to a freezer bag. Place as many as you need directly from the freezer onto a plate then cover with a paper towel and microwave on 50% power until warmed through. SO EASY.

Click here for the recipe >

Shortcut Vegetable Ragu

Shortcut Vegetable Ragu is my staple spaghetti night sauce and it’s super easy to double or triple the batch then freeze flat for future spaghetti nights. ‘Nuf said. :)

Click here for the recipe >

Mini Pizza Quinoa Bites

Because having a newborn can be stressful, and pizza is not. ;) Bake/cool and then freeze Mini Pizza Quinoa Bites on a sheet pan, and then transfer to a Ziplock freezer bag. Place onto a plate from the freezer, cover with a paper towel, then microwave on 50% power until heated through. Also check out my Mini Ham & Cheese Quinoa Cups, Mini BLT Quinoa Cups, and Mini Mushroom & Swiss Quinoa Cups.

Click here for the recipe >

Crock Pot Chicken and Wild Rice Soup

Another freezer kit staple of mine! Crock Pot Chicken and Wild Rice Soup is a wildly popular recipe here on IGE year-round as it’s healthy and comforting – just what you need after having a baby. This recipe is actually best made as a freezer kit vs cooking then freezing, so the rice keeps its texture. Add everything but the chicken broth into a freezer bag then freeze flat. Thaw overnight in the fridge then dump into a crock pot with the broth and cook according to instructions.

Click here for the recipe >

Mini BBQ Cheddar Meatloaves

Mini BBQ Cheddar Meatloaves are SO yummy! Assemble then freeze on a baking sheet before transferring to a freezer bag. Thaw overnight in the fridge on a foil-lined baking sheet then bake per usual.

Click here for the recipe >

Crock Pot Loose Meat

If you’re not from the Midwest, the concept of a “loose meat” sandwich might sound nuts, but I promise you they’re so, so delicious. Slow cook/cool then freeze the loose meat with a little bit of extra cooking liquid then thaw and scoop onto buns with ketchup or BBQ sauce, sprinkle over baked fries with shredded cheese, or turn into Sloppy Joes. Such a versatile staple to have on hand in the freezer.

Click here for the recipe >

Crock Pot BBQ Pulled Pork

Shredded pork freezes extremely well and stays nice and juicy on account of its higher fat content. That said, keep a couple bags of cooked/cooled/frozen Crock Pot BBQ Pulled Pork on hand for thawing then turning into sandwiches, quesadillas or adding to salads.

Click here for the recipe >

Taco Chili

Taco Chili is a family favorite. Each spoonful tastes like you’re eating a giant taco except you don’t have to go through all the fuss of toasting shells, chopping up toppings, etc. Add crushed tortilla chips and cheese on top then you’re done. Very low fuss for when you’ve got a fussy baby on your shoulder.

Click here for the recipe >

Crock Pot Carnitas

Crock Pot Carnitas is SUCH a winner. Thaw a bag of it in the fridge then crisp up portions in a skillet and top with eggs + avocados for a hearty breakfast, use in tacos, salads, etc. So versatile, and SO delicious!! Heck, I usually just sneak cold bites of it straight out of the fridge when I need a little protein boost.

Click here for the recipe >

Blueberry Oatmeal Breakfast Bars

Not only do Blueberry Oatmeal Breakfast Bars keep for 4-5 days in the fridge (if they last that long – I promise they won’t,) but you can also slice them into squares and wrap in plastic wrap to keep in the freezer. Thaw as many as you like in the fridge overnight to thaw, or discard the saran wrap then microwave wrapped in a paper towel at 50% power straight from the freezer to warm back up. Total win for healthy breakfasts or snacks.

Click here for the recipe >

Maple Cinnamon Oatmeal Breakfast Bars

Maple Cinnamon Oatmeal Breakfast Bars fall under the same concept as the blueberry bars above but have a slightly different, totally delicious flavor profile. I am obsessed. Also, I don’t know if there’s a specific “formula” or combination of ingredients that qualify a cookie or bar as a lactation-friendly, but I’ve had many women tell me they’ve used my oatmeal bar recipes for that purpose.

Click here for the recipe >

Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Bars

Last but not least – Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Bars! These bars are made without bananas so they’re perfect for those who detest the taste and/or are allergic to bananas.

Click here for the recipe >

No-Bake Cranberry Chocolate Almond Energy Bites

No-Bake Cranberry Chocolate Almond Energy Bites: because newborns = tired Mama. Seriously, the jolt of dark chocolate and dried cranberries, mixed with peanut butter, oats, and nuts, make for one DELICIOUS and energy-sustaining snack. Tip: instead of taking the time to roll into balls a lot of times I’ll press the mixture into an 8×8″ baking pan then slice into squares. Again, these keep really well for quite awhile in the fridge but are awesome to have on hand in the freezer for an extended time, too.

Click here for the recipe >

Healthier Zucchini Banana Bread Muffins

Like I said, having a newborn can be stressful but warm and squishy carbs can help. Freeze a batch of Healthier Zucchini Banana Bread Muffins then microwave wrapped in a paper towel on 50% power until soft before stuffing your face whenever ya’ need it. We understand.

Click here for the recipe >

Source: https://iowagirleats.com/2018/07/18/freezer-meals/

[thebibliosphere]

Patreon recipe questions: kosher cookies?

I had an interesting ask which I now can’t find my answer to, so it looks like tumblr ate it somewhere along the queue to posting stage so I’ll just quickly answer it again sans pictures and come back and redo it properly later on—sorry I can’t remember your tumblr name to tag you! :( 

The question was: “I want to make my mom’s cookies for my friend’s birthday, but I think they keep kosher, do I need to change anything? and if so do you have a kosher cookie recipe? also how do you cook for someone with allergies?”

I’ll start this by saying—I’m not Jewish. I merely grew up in a house that was heavily influenced by my Jewish family background so keeping kosher in our house was more out of familial habit than an actual need to adhere to Jewish law apart from my father who worked as a Jewish butcher for some 20 odd years. As a result I may or may not have a few crossed wires somewhere, so if any of my Jewish friends spot something I say which is incorrect, I would love for you to correct me so I can edit it and post the correct info.

And also wow this got long so I am going to throw this under a cut.

If you’ve got a baking question you’d like to throw my way, PM me over on [Patreon] or drop me a line on [Tumblr]. Even if you think it’s really really silly and don’t want it to be a public post, please feel free to ask! We all start learning somewhere :)

-tumblr mom xoxox

When baking for anyone, it’s always a good idea to find out a few vital things about them, such as allergies and food restrictions—and to absolutely respect those restrictions whether they are are a medical necessity or by choice. I can’t tell you how many times someone has thought in the past that I am just being a “picky” eater and accidentally-on-purpose poisoned me because they didn’t believe me when I said eating certain vegan ingredients will make me projectile vomit 30 minutes after the first bite and risk putting me into shock. Don’t be that person. You wouldn’t go up to someone with a peanut allergy and lie about putting peanut butter in your cookies...at least I hope you wouldn’t, because I’m pretty certain on top of making you an asshole it might also constitute towards a deliberate murder charge at worst. It’s the exact same for other allergies, though they are often afforded little consideration compared to the peanut one. Ask them, and do everything you can to avoid cross contamination in your home wherever possible. 

If you think your friend might keep kosher, it’d be a good idea to find out for sure, and how strict the are with it—along with any other possible food issues. 

(There’s also a difference between regular kosher and keeping kosher on Passover which means having to also exclude extra things like wheat, spelt, barley, oats and rye—so that means no cookies until the end of Passover.)

If they are very strict with their keeping of kosher, they might politely decline your kind offer on the basis that even if you manage to get all kosher ingredients, your kitchen itself and your utensils, are not, and they run the risk of contamination. There’s a reason for why the kosher certification is so important on food products. It’s not just about the food itself, but how it is handled and processed, things like meat and dairy never being kept on the same counter/shelf and there’s a whole process involving your rabbi coming to your house and submerging your things in boiling water and a few other things I am likely not remembering from my childhood growing up with a kosher butcher for a father.

Don’t take it too harshly if they do, and respect that wish. You made a nice gesture and the thought will be appreciated. It’s always bullshit when other people feel guilted into eating foods which may or may not be good for them, either physically or spiritually.

If your friend is okay with your kitchen not being officially kosher, then you can jump right ahead to buying your kosher ingredients and baking them cookies. If you want to be extra considerate invest in a new mixing bowl, spatula and bake tray. I have sets of utensils which while not officially koshered by a rabbi, are kept separate from my other utensils which might be used to mix/cut mixed ingredients. I do the same for gluten free and nut allergies with designated mixing bowls and baking mats and spoons (ours was the house of deathly allergies growing up, it just took some 30 years for my allergies to emerge in the form of an auto-immune meltdown) which are kept in separate cupboards. This is in general good practice if you bake regularly for friends with severe food allergies, though those of us with said allergies understand it’s a hassle and don’t expect you to do it by default. We’ll just keep politely declining offers of food, and wishing people didn’t react to those rejections like we’ve just murdered their firstborn over a flapjack.

Assuming your friend is okay with your kitchen not being officially kosher there are still some things you need to take into consideration when picking your ingredients and prepping. I have one friend who greases her cookie sheets with leftover bacon fat—for the added flavor. Needles to say this is not kosher and should be avoided. Use a vegetable based oil instead to line any bake tins or trays.

Butter is technically kosher as it comes from cows which are considered kosher animals, but unless it’s certified kosher on the label, there’s a chance it’s been produced alongside other meat based products (gelatin or rennet) and could be contaminated and is therefore not kosher and should be avoided when trying to bake kosher. If it says kosher certified on the label? Go for it. If not? Well, we’ll be sticking with margarine, which is non dairy. 

Also it’s an important distinction to make, if you do use dairy product in your cookie rather than margarine? You need to tell the person as it might affect the rest of their diet for that day. Part of keeping kosher means not eating meat and dairy at the same time, and some people depending on their beliefs, might need to wait an hour to six hours before consuming a dairy product before or after eating red meat. So depending on how strict your friend is, it would be a good idea to tell them it’s a dairy based cookie, even if it is kosher based dairy. 

Same with your chocolate chips, go for non dairy milk ones like dark chocolate (although it sounds like it, cocoa butter is not dairy, it’s the fat from the cacao bean). If they need to be absolutely certified kosher, then kosher chocolate brands off the top of my head include Equal Exchange and Schmerling’s, both of which bake fairly well when you chop the chocolate bars up into chunks/melt down to make a drizzle. I think Theo Chocolates are considered parveve (neutral) too, if not actually certified kosher. Google around and see what else you can find or ask at your grocery store.

Eggs are considered to be pareve, meaning they do not fall under the meat and dairy rules of kosher, but you will however need to check them for blood spots in the membrane, as those make them non kosher. When prepping eggs for a kosher recipe, crack them one at a time into a separate small bowl, then add them into your mix one at a time in order to avoid the risk of contaminating a whole batch with a blood spot. (I speak from experience, also this is just generally a good way of cracking eggs to avoid getting shell in your mixes for people who struggle with cracking eggs neatly into a mixture) 

The recipe I am familiar with for kosher cookies was the one my Jewish great grandma taught my dad (who didn’t care, so then she taught my mother after they were married), and after googling around for some other kosher cookie recipes, it looks like the same one found in Second Helpings, Please! by Norene Gilletz and Harriet Nussbaum, so this recipe is at least 50ish years old, and I can attest to it tasting good as it was the only version of an “American cookie” we ever ate as kids in Scotland :)

I’ve kept this in cups cause my asker was American, but if anyone wants grams or oz I can find my scales and work it out <3

Things you will need:

2 bowls, a sifter or whisk, a mixing spatula/spoon, and a baking sheet (2 is better cause then you can bake the whole mix at once).

Dry ingredients.

1 cup all purpose flour. 1/2 cup whole wheat flour (if you have it, if not do 1+ 1/2 cups all purpose or substitute in oatmeal flour or even rice flour for added texture/flavor, oat meal gives it a bit of a nutty flavor, rice flour will make it sweeter) 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda.  1/4 teaspoon of kosher salt 

Wet ingredients

2/3 cup of margarine softened at room temperature (do not melt, you need the fat structure intact to carry the sugar, alternatively 1/3 vegetable oil works too. If this is too dry, try adding a little more. I tend to add oil slowly in by feel these days). 1/2 cup finely granulated sugar. 1/2 cup of light muscovado (brown sugar) tightly packed. 1 egg. 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract.

Extras: throw in one cup of your choice of chocolate chips (or extra of your choice eg. raisins, chopped nuts)

Method:

Preheat your oven to 350′f and either line or lightly grease your cookie sheets.

In one bowl beat together your wet ingredients until light and creamy. And because I get asked this every now and then, yes when it comes to baking, sugar is considered a wet ingredient. This is because it is a liquifier, not a stabilizer like flour. And just to really fuck with your head, eggs thought not dry, are considered a stabilizer because they give food structural stability. Which is why the more sugar you add into something, the gooier/softer it will be (like the famous American cookie texture) and also why successful gluten free baking (usually high in sugars) that doesn’t have the textural experience of eating mushy sweet drywall, requires more eggs than your usual cookie mix in order to retain shape/moisture. themoreyouknow.jpg

Anyway, set your wet mixture to one side, then in another bowl sift together your dry ingredients. If you don’t have a sifter throw your dry ingredients together and give them a whisk round to make sure they are thoroughly blended. Add about half your dry mix to the wet until you get a gooey mix, add in your 1 cup of chocolate chips, then add in the rest of your dry mix until well combined. It should be sticky but not runny.

Next take your prepped baking sheets, and drop 10ish tablespoons of the batter onto each one and bake for 10-12 minutes or until cookies are lightly browned and firm at the center. Then remove from oven, allow to sit on the hot tray for another 2 mins, then allow them to cool on a wire wrack. Allow to cool mostly the whole way before serving. 

These will keep well for up to about 3-4 days in an airtight concealer, and can be frozen for up to a month. (longer if you don’t use whole wheat flour, which goes rancid quicker than all purpose white flour). You can also freeze the raw mix ready for throwing in the oven, for up to about a month, then add on 1-2 mins for bake time to make sure they are cooked the whole way through 

And that’s how to make a kosher cookies for friends who keep kosher. Good luck with your baking friend, and please tag me and let me know how it goes! :)

[dorkwhowrites]

Leather Jackets (Chapter 8)

Group: Bangtan Boys

Pairing: Jikook

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Hey everyone, So this chapter contains drug abuse and I just want to warn you guys about it. I don't want to imply that BTS behave like this in real life. This is a fan fiction but all of the characters have fictional aspects to them. I also want to say that I do not condone behavior like this in real life. Please stay away from drugs. They can cause you a lot of harm. Thank you and please proceed with caution.

Jimin walks to Yoongi’s flat on Sunday morning after an extra class at University to discuss what to do for Jungkook’s upcoming birthday which is only 4 days away and Jimin still has to buy a gift for his boyfriend.

Jimin knocks on the door and waits for someone to open it.

It's Taehyung dressed in a white tank top and black shorts who grins at Jimin.

Over Taehyung’s shoulder, Jimin sees Hoseok resting his head on Yoongi’s lap and he finds himself staring and realizes that Taehyung notices as he clears his throat.

“Guys, Jimin’s here,”

Immediately Hoseok sits up as Jimin enters and Yoongi sits in distance.

“Sorry to disturb,” Jimin says.

“Aw come on now Jimin,” Hoseok says.

“So we are supposed to be discussing Jungkook’s birthday right?” Taehyung says as he takes a seat between Hoseok and Yoongi.

“Uh yeah, he is turning 19 and I want it to be really special for him,”

“Leave it to us,” Taehyung winks. “Our birthday parties are always a blast”

Jimin smiles a little.

“You don’t have to worry,” Yoongi says. “We will make sure Jungkook has the best night of his life”

“Thanks, guys,” Jimin says. “If you guys need any help you can call me up”

“Yeah, sure we will,” Yoongi says.

“Also, one last thing I am um not sure what exactly to get Jungkook,”

“Just get him some CD of an old rock band,” Taehyung says. “He swoons over that stuff”

“All right then,” Jimin says. “I will keep that in mind”

Taehyung and Yoongi smile.

“Jimin, how’s your mom doing?” Taehyung suddenly asks. “Jungkook told us about it”

“She is okay now,” Jimin says. “I visited her just yesterday and the doctor says that she is showing a lot of progress”

“That’s a good thing right,” Yoongi says.

“Yeah,”

There is a momentary silence before Jimin speaks up.

“I guess I’ll go now,” Jimin says.

“All right Jimin,” Taehyung says hugging Jimin. “Catch you later”

Hoseok waves with a grin and Yoongi just smiles as Jimin leaves the flat. He takes a bus back to his own flat and when he reaches Jungkook is still sleeping sprawled on the bed, his hair messy and mouth hanging open.

Jimin almost wants to kiss him but he resists the temptation and instead begins de-cluttering. Today is gonna be a cleaning day he decides because he doesn’t have to go to the diner for a whole week. Seokjin told him that the diner would be under maintenance for a whole day.

When he is vacuuming the living room he suddenly felt a pair of hands snake around his waist and there is a kiss pressed to his neck.

“Good morning,” Jimin hears Jungkook’s sleepy voice in his ear.

“Don’t you mean afternoon,” Jimin asks.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Jungkook asks.

“You looked very adorable sleeping,” Jimin says.

Jungkook smiles and kisses Jimin.

“Go take a shower,” Jimin says. “I’ll make you something”

“Okay,” Jungkook says kissing Jimin again before he walks off to the bathroom and Jimin finishes cleaning up before he starts cooking up. He decides to make fried rice with kimchi because Jungkook likes it a lot.

When Jungkook comes back from shower they sit down and have lunch and once done Jungkook volunteers to do the dishes.

They spend the rest of the day watching movies and cuddling and somehow manage to fall asleep earlier than 9 which rarely ever happens.

Jimin wakes up at 8 and squeezes himself out of Jungkook’s tight grip on his waist. He watches Jungkook stir and heaves a sigh of relief when Jungkook falls asleep again.

Jimin heads to the kitchen to make chocolate chip pancakes which are Jungkook’s favorite since it’s his birthday. Jimin makes as little sound as possible and once he writes ‘Happy Birthday’ on them with whipped cream and garnishes them with chopped strawberries.

Jimin then goes to the room and decorates the room with balloons everywhere and through all this Jungkook is thankfully still sleeping. Jimin is excited because he has never been able to plan surprises or celebrate anyone’s birthday ever. His mother wasn’t big on celebrations probably because they didn’t have enough money. For Jimin’s birthday, his mother would buy him a small cake and wouldn’t eat it telling him that she wasn’t hungry. But Jimin always knew she was lying. She only said that because she wanted Jimin to have the whole cake. And for her birthday Jimin would pick out flowers and make her a card and the smile she would have when she saw them would make Jimin’s day. He feels himself getting emotional over the emotions and quickly wipes his eyes. He hopes he has done it right, at least this is what they show in the movies.

Jimin goes back to the kitchen and gets the pancakes before returning back to the room with them. He sets them on the bed and wakes up Jungkook.

“Jungkookie wake up,” he whispers in Jungkook’s hear.

Jungkook groans moving away.

“Wake up, look what I have for you,” Jimin says.

“What is it?” Jungkook says his voice heavy.

“You have to see yourself,” Jimin says.

Jungkook sits up a little his eyes closed as he rubs them before opening up.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY,” Jimin says in an excited voice.

Jungkook’s mouth hangs open as he sees the balloons everywhere and Jimin holds up the pancakes for him.

When Jungkook doesn’t respond Jimin frowns.

“You don’t like it,”

“You did all this yourself,” Jungkook asks.

“Uh yes,” Jimin says.

“Oh my god,” Jungkook says. “I can’t believe this”

“What…what happened?”

“No one has done something like this for me before,” Jungkook says.

Jimin stays silent.

“This is so fucking sweet Jimin,” Jungkook continues. “I-I am so touched”

Jungkook stands up suddenly and kisses Jimin.

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

Jungkook sits down back on the bed along with Jimin and Jimin hands him the stack of pancakes. Jungkook cuts them with a huge grin on his face before they start eating.

“These are so good,” Jungkook says. “You are so amazing Jimin”

Jimin just smiles as they finish the pancakes together.

“Do you really have to go the Uni today?” Jungkook says. “It’s my birthday”

“Sorry Kookie, we have to a pretty important lecture today and also a presentation”

“You could have at least skipped the diner today,” Jungkook pouts further.

“Kookie don’t worry,” Jimin says kissing Jungkook. “I’ll be there at Yoongi hyung’s house before 7”

Jungkook nods.

Jimin picks up the plates and heads to the kitchen to wash them. Once done goes to the bathroom to shower.

“Are you going to shower right now?” Jungkook asks.

“Yeah,”

“Can I join?”

Before Jimin can even protest Jungkook speaks up again.

“Come on it’s my birthday,”

“Fine,”

Jungkook grins and kisses Jimin.

Jimin heads straight to the diner after University. His presentation went seemingly well so he is happier than ever.

“Hyung,” he calls out Seokjin. “If you don’t mind can I leave by 6 with Hoseok?”

“Yeah, sure,” Seokjin smiles. “But why?”

“It’s Jungkook’s birthday”

Seokjin chuckles.

“Wish me him a happy birthday from me and enjoy today”

“Thanks, hyung,” Jimin smiles as he immediately gets to work.

Today for the first time he waits for time to fly by so he can get to Jungkook soon. After what it seems like hours it’s finally 6 and him and Hoseok leave.

“We should go back to mine and change first,” Hoseok says.

“Yeah,” Jimin says.

Hoseok’s flat is only a 10-minute walk from the diner and it’s small but quite cozy.

“You can change in the bathroom,” Hoseok says.

Jimin nods as he goes inside and puts on a black shirt with tight black skinny jeans. It’s hard getting into them. This is the first time Jimin is wearing something like this and it was only because Jungkook kept talking about how good he would look if he wore tight clothes but Jimin would just tell him to shut up not believing Jungkook at all. But as he stares at the mirror he is almost looking at a stranger but he is also convinced he has never looked this good ever before. The tight skinny jeans define the shape of his legs well and the rolled up sleeves of his shirt make his arms look sexy in some strange way.

“Jimin, you okay in there?” Jimin hears Hoseok’s voice.

“Oh yeah,” Jimin says going back to his senses as he steps out of the bathroom self-conscious and even more so when Hoseok stares at him so he shifts uncomfortably his hands crossed in front of him.

“Wow, you look different,” Hoseok says.

“Oh, I probably don’t suit it,” Jimin says. “Should I go back to mine and change into something else?”

“Oh no no no,” Hoseok says chuckling. “You look amazing right now, better than ever”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I mean look at you, damn,” Hoseok says.

Jimin’s face turns red.

“You look really good too,” Jimin says.

“Thanks, Jimin, you are too sweet,” Hoseok says.

Jimin smiles as Hoseok grabs a blow dryer and styles his hair and Jimin watches as he finishes off with putting hair spray on it.

“Wanna try?” Hoseok asks.

“I’ve-I’ve never,” Jimin says biting his lip wondering if Hoseok thinks he is an idiot.

“Come on here,” Hoseok smiles. “I’ll style it for you”

“All right,”

Jimin sits down on the chair and Hoseok brushes his hair in a quiff and puts on loads of hair spray before blow drying it.

“That’s…,” Jimin begins not knowing how he feels about his new hairdo.

“You don’t like it?” Hoseok asks.

“No, it looks quite good,”

“You look gorgeous Jimin,” Hoseok says. “Trust me”

“Thanks,” Jimin says.

Hoseok smiles and Jimin sees him putting on eyeliner.

“I am not really an eyeliner person,” Hoseok says. “But today I just feel like it”

“Okay,” Jimin says.

“You should try it out maybe,” Hoseok suggests.

“Uh I um no,”

“Come on Jimin, for once let go of all your inhibitions,” Hoseok says.

“Fine,” Jimin says.

Hoseok grins and Jimin sees him pull out something out of his drawer.

“Eyeshadow,” Hoseok says and chuckles when he sees Jimin’s horrified expression. “I will be very subtle”

“How did you learn to do all this?” Jimin asks.

“My noona loved makeup and I was like her canvas, she would practice on me,” Hoseok says. “I know more about makeup now than some girls thanks to her”

Jimin laughs a little. Soon he feels a thin brush on his eyelid and he closes his eyes letting Hoseok do his work and he tries not to think about anything. His mother was a stickler for simplicity and that’s why she wore plain clothes, no makeup, jewelry and her black hair tied up in a bun every single day.

And Jimin was always like this caring very little about what he looked like.

“Jimin-ah, people shouldn’t notice you for what you look like but how you are in life”

That’s why Jimin is surprised that Jungkook even noticed him when in all of his he has blended in the background with his plain looks.

Today he almost feels like he is breaking the rule his mother has for him. He is being vain but he is liking it.

It’s just for one day, he tells himself”

“There all done,” he hears Hoseok’s voice and he opens his eye and the person in front of him feels like a stranger. His eyes look dramatic, big and he is mesmerized.

“Wow,”

“You like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” Jimin says.

Hoseok grins.

“One last thing,” Hoseok says as he pulls out a little tube and puts it on Jimin’s lips before smearing it with his fingers.

“God, Jungkook will die when he looks at you,” Hoseok says.

Jimin smiles as he sees the noticeable difference in his face. He looks foreign but he feels on the top of the world.

“Let’s go then, shall we,” Hoseok says.

“Uh yeah,” Jimin says as he grabs his backpack.

Hoseok calls a taxi and in about 20 minutes they are at Yoongi’s flat which is already filled with people so Hoseok and Jimin make their way through the people and Jimin spots Jungkook wearing a party hat talking to a girl when Jungkook notices Jimin too and Jimin sees his mouth falling as Jimin bites his lips making his way to Jungkook.

“Holy shit Jimin,” Jungkook says. “Look at you”

Jimin feels himself turning red again.

“You look so beautiful,” Jungkook says.

“Thank you,” Jimin says.

Jungkook immediately kisses him and it’s more like making out but Jimin decides to let the boundaries blur for today and only stops because he has something that he has to give to Jungkook.

“Come to the bedroom with me,” Jimin says.

Jungkook nods as they leave and Jungkook closes the door.

“Whatever we do, it has to be quick,” Jungkook says. “The guests are coming and they might coming looking for me”

“Jungkook,” Jimin rolls his eyes. “We are not having sex”

“Oh uh I am sorry”

Jimin immediately removes the backpack from his shoulder and pulls out two wrapped boxes.

“Jimin, you didn’t…,”

“Shut up,” Jimin says.

“Open it,” Jimin says.

Jungkook picks out the large one.

“Not this one, the small one,” Jimin says.

Jungkook nods picking it up and gently opening it. There’s a little box and Jungkook opens it to find a little locket.

There’s a small heart and the word J&J engraved on it.

“So, do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” Jungkook says kissing it. “Thank you”

Jungkook immediately wears it.

“Open the next one,”

Jungkook picks up the bigger box and unwraps it and a tape falls into his lap.

“I made you a mixtape,” Jimin says shyly. “Super cheesy I know”

“Are you serious? I love this,” Jungkook says.

“It’s about all the songs that I listen to which remind me of you,” Jimin says. “Mostly The Smiths And Beatles”

“I’ll treasure this forever,” Jungkook says with a smile.

Jungkook kisses Jimin.

“Thank you for all this, I love you”

“I love you even more,” Jimin says. “Come on now let’s go we have a party to attend to”

Jungkook nods as they leave the room and Jungkook is immediately surrounded by a bunch of people so Jimin instead goes to hang out with Hoseok who seems just as out of place.

Taehyung brings in a huge cake and Jungkook goes to cut it but not before he drags Jimin to his side as everyone sings Happy Birthday and Jungkook blows off the candles and cuts it and feeds a slice to Jimin as everyone screams and cheers.

Soon music starts blasting and everyone begins dancing and Jimin awkwardly sways around with Jungkook and Hoseok. He is glad that the two are beginning to warm up to each other little by little.

Suddenly Taehyung appears and whispers something into Jungkook’s ears.

“Really?” Jungkook asks and Taehyung nods.

Jungkook goes back to dancing and Jimin notices some guys sat on the couch blowing smoke out of something.

“What are they doing?”

“Smoking weed,” Jungkook says.

Jimin blinks a little.

“I heard Yoongi is bringing Molly in for you guys,” Hoseok says.

“Uh yeah,” Jungkook says with a grin.

“Who’s Molly?” Jimin asks.

“Molly’s a drug,” Jungkook says. “Yoongi hyung brought some in”

“So, you are gonna do drugs today,”

“Yup,” Jungkook says. “It’s like a birthday tradition for us”

“What?” Jimin asks shocked.

“It’s all safe Jimin, don’t worry,”

“But drugs are bad,” Jimin says.

“Come on Jimin, Jungkook says. “I sell it, I know about it”

“Yeah but…,”

“Trust me Jimin, it’s harmless stuff,” Jungkook says. “Nothing’s gonna happen, okay?”

Jimin nods as Jungkook pulls him closer and they dance together.

Soon it’s just them in the corner all alone because Hoseok is gone somewhere too and Jungkook alternates between kissing Jimin and dancing.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Jungkook asks. “I know stuff like this isn’t really your thing”

“It’s not too bad,” Jimin says.

Jungkook grins a little twirling Jimin and Jimin chuckles as Jungkook wraps his hands around Jimin’s waist and Jimin rests his head on Jimin’s chest listening to his heart.

“Jungkook, I’ve been looking for you,” Yugyeom says with a grin. “Come on now”

Jimin looks at Jungkook and then at Yugyeom before he finally understands what they are talking about.

“You should come too,” Jungkook says taking Jimin’s hand and Jimin says yes only because he doesn’t want to be left here all alone with people he barely even knows.

They head to an empty room and Jimin sees Yoongi, Taehyung, and Hoseok along with some girls he knows briefly.

“Our birthday boy’s here,” Taehyung says and they all loudly cheer.

Jungkook grins sitting down and Jimin does the same as Yoongi brings out a Ziploc bag and in it are little white pills.

Yoongi hands out one to everyone and when it’s Jimin’s turn he doesn’t hold out his hand and Yoongi looks at him with a confused expression on his face.

“You should try it Jimin,” Taehyung says.

“I..,” Jimin begins.

“I don’t think so he wants to hyung,” Jungkook says giving Jimin a reassuring look.

“Shame, cause this is really one of the best things out there,” Yugyeom says. “It’s gonna make you feel so good like there are no worries in your life but only happiness”

Jimin bites his lips as a voice in him tells him to take the white pill that Yoongi is still holding out but he doesn’t.

“Yeah, Yugyeom’s right,” Taehyung says. “This is amazing and you should try it at least once. In….”

“Hyung, if he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have to,” Jungkook says sounding annoyed.

“I-I wanna try it,” Jimin suddenly says.

Taehyung claps loudly.

“That’s my Jimin,” he says.

“Jimin,” Jungkook says in a low voice. “You know you don’t have to do it right?”

“I know,”

“So, then why are you?” Jungkook asks. “Should I take you out if you are feeling pressured?”

“There’s no pressure,” Jimin says. “I wanna try it myself”

Jungkook looks like he wants to say something but he doesn’t as Jimin finally takes the pill that Yoongi is still handing out.

“Can I get some water?” he asks.

Yugyeom tosses him a bottle and Jimin places the pill on his tongue and swallows it down with the help of water, his eyes closed and he sees his mother in front of his eyes and he has never regretted anything more but the damage is done.

Everyone else too has swallowed their pills.

“How long till it kicks off?” Jimin asks.

“Someone’s eager,” Taehyung chuckles.

“30 minutes mostly,” Yoongi says.

Jimin nods as everyone begins leaving the room and him and Jungkook walk out while Jungkook remains silent.

“Jungkook, what happened?” Jimin asks.

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” Jimin asks.

“Taking the pill, I know you don’t stand for drugs because literally an hour ago you were stopping me from doing it,” Jungkook says. “You didn’t have to”

Jungkook continues.

“Jimin, you are different and I don’t want you to change yourself to fit in with us okay,” Jungkook says. “You are okay just the way you are”

Jimin nods.

“I did it just because I wanted to,” he adds.

Jungkook nods kissing Jimin’s forehead.

“It’s okay if you wanted it,” Jungkook says. “But I hope you don’t lose yourself”

Jimin nods.

“Come on let’s sit down somewhere”

Jimin and Jungkook find an empty couch and they sit eating some chicken wings and sipping on some coke as Jimin waits for the drug to take it’s effect.

It does and Jimin feels lighter, a weight being taken off his shoulder and a smile spreads across his face.

He feels positive and everything seems possible for some reason.

Besides him, Jungkook is looking at his phone with a smile on his face.

He looks beautiful, Jimin thinks. Jimin thinks he doesn’t appreciate Jungkook’s beauty enough as he stares at Jungkook and the face of his shape and how his eyebrows crease to how his lips spread open in a smile and the little cross earrings that dangle from each of his ears and that black leather jacket hugging his body and so do his leather pants almost looking like Jungkook dipped his legs in black paint.

Jimin moves closer and suddenly grabs kissing Jungkook with everything in him and they make out on the couch for what Jimin thinks is for hours but Jimin breaks it eventually.

“I wanna dance,” he says.

Jimin doesn’t know what has taken over him but he swears dancing has never been more fun. He just wants to keep moving even though he is sweating like hell but he keeps dancing and he is feeling giddy with all the people that seem to be staring at him but today Jimin has let go of everything his mind fears.

He moves his body to the beat of the music.

“Jimin, you are amazing,” he hears a voice he is pretty sure belongs to Hoseok and Jimin’s grin grows wider. He feels Jungkook’s hands pull him back and they are pretty much grinding on the floor but the drug has made Jimin forget all his inhibitions.

He has the happiest he has ever been.

“We are doing body shots,” Jimin sees Yugyeom shout over to Jungkook. “Come join us”

Maybe Jungkook isn’t the only one who is looking exceptionally well tonight Jimin thinks as he sees Yugyeom but he doesn’t give it much thought as Jungkook drags him and Jimin sees Taehyung lying on the table and someone pours what seems like vodka on his belly button and Jimin sees Hoseok lick it all off and everyone is screaming loud.

“Come on who’s next,” someone yells and a girl gets on the table lifting her top up and someone pours a drink and a guy laps it off while Jimin watches in fascination.

This goes on and there are loud screams and cheers from everywhere.

“Come on, who wants to go next?” someone yells.

It’s the drug, it’s definitely the drug because never in his life ever would Jimin do something like this.

“Me,” Jimin says.

And there are even louder screams Jimin thinks as he gets on the table and lifts his T-shirt up and Yoongi pours a shot on his bellybutton. Jimin slightly shivers at how cold it is but in just a few second Jungkook is lapping it up with his tongue and it’s very ticklish so Jimin tries hard to stay still until Jungkook finishes and there’s lots of laughs and cheers as Jimin sits up pulling his shirt down and Jungkook helps him come down.

“Did you like that?” Jungkook asks and Jimin nods.

Jungkook laughs connecting their lips into a kiss and no one notices as they leave the crowded living room and they are in an empty room and in seconds their clothes are on the floor.

Jimin doesn’t know how long it lasts, heck he is barely registering anything that is happening but he feels his pleasure being heightened and when they are done Jimin stands up and sees himself in the mirror and for the first time in life he feels like he is beautiful.

He puts his clothes back on and so does Jungkook and they head downstairs to see that the party is still going on and Jimin notices Hoseok, Taehyung and Yoongi dancing together and he joins them with Jungkook.

Jimin has never danced so much in his life. The music has never sounded so good. He is burning up he feels but he doesn’t want to stop. He feels giddy with pleasure, all of his senses heightened.

Jimin talks to a lot of people too.

People he doesn’t know and they laugh at his jokes and Jimin is making friends, big shocker but it feels like he has opened his eyes to everything and they are all so nice.

Surrounded by his new found friends he is pulled back soon by Jungkook.

“Jimin, I miss you,” he whines.

“I am right here,” Jimin laughs.

“Stay with me,” Jungkook says making Jimin laugh even more.

But Jimin decides to stay as he sits down on one of the couches and Jungkook immediately lies across his lap and Jimin begins playing with Jungkook’s hair.

“You know Jungkook,” Jimin says. “This is the first birthday party I’ve ever been to”

“Ooooh,” Jungkook says. “Do you like it?”

“This might have been the best day I’ve ever had,” Jimin says.

“I am glad,” Jungkook smiles.

“What time is it?” Jimin asks.

“4 am,”

“Oh,” Jimin says. If it was sober Jimin he would panic about waking up for Uni the next day but not today.

“Wait, isn’t my birthday over already over?” Jungkook wonders out loud. “Why are we still celebrating?”

“Shush,” Jimin says placing a lip on Jungkook’s lips.

Jungkook laughs and so does Jimin before Jimin bends down and pecks Jungkook’s lips.

“I love you,” Jungkook says.

“Love you too,” Jimin says.

A few minutes later Jimin sees that Jungkook has fallen asleep on Jimin’s lap and Jimin smiles at him admiring how adorable his boyfriend looks.

Jimin sees that some people have left now and there are still a few people here and there mostly eating or drinking.

Jimin feels himself getting tired as well and almost wants to fall asleep when he sees Taehyung and Yoongi making out with each other and he swears he is seeing stuff because he is high and he blinks twice but sure they are making out but Jimin’s mind seems to be too far off to react in any way as he too falls asleep along with Jungkook.

The things that Jimin sees while he is on the drug are all based on the experiences of people taking MDMA that I've read online. So if anything seems inaccurate I apologize as these are based on personal experiences which may vary from person to person.

[kashmiresims]

Packing, Baking, and Braiding

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It shouldn’t be so hard to decide what to pack. Part of the problem was that there were so many choices. Alarie dug through her dorm drawers looking for outfits suited for warmer weather. Shorts, tanks, and sandals were all items appropriate, but then there was the matter of what to wear for the casino. She definitely planned on looking fabulous as she tried her luck in Pandora.

It was a good thing she was going to her parents’ house that night, for she had a lot more clothes to decide upon stashed in her old wardrobe there when she couldn’t fit everything in her dorm dresser when she moved to college.  

The sudden vibration of her phone caught her attention from where it lay on the desk. She picked it up and answered, “Hello?”  

“Have you been avoiding me?” Rafael’s voice filtered through the receiver. He sounded agitated.  

“No, I’ve just been busy,” Alarie explained while digging out a cute pair of panties to add to her duffel bag, “I’m going to Pandora this weekend with Leona and Illyana and have to figure out what to pack.”  

“You didn’t tell me you were going to Pandora!”  

“Am I supposed to?” She rolled her eyes.  

“It’d be nice to know. Maybe I wanted to spend time with you this weekend and planned a big romantic outing but because you failed to tell me your plans I now have to find someone else to take to Kashmire Pointe,” Rafael stated bitterly and Alarie found the tone suspiciously close to whining.  

“Take one of your bros,” she suggested without sympathy. He could have texted or emailed her, she was known not always have her phone around so couldn’t be expected to answer every call. She did also not feel obligated to tell him her weekend plans if he was okay with just going off to the beach with his fraternity brothers without mentioning anything.  

“Fine I will!” He responded indignantly.  

“Did you call just to yell at me or was there something you wanted to discuss?” She snapped, she didn’t have time for Rafael’s tantrums.  

“I was calling to see what you were doing this weekend but no use now…hey, Is there going to be a lot of guys where you are going in Pandora?” He asked suddenly seeming concerned.  

“I smell your insecurities and it’s not attractive,” Alarie said dryly. She really did love Rafael, and had been going with him since she was seventeen, but they had their share of tiffs over the years. She was jealous when he had gone to college and joined a the popular Hoh Fruhm one no less, a place where he was surely exposed to many beautiful girls more mature than her. He was overprotective of her around other guys, call it what you will, a machismo of sorts. They partied in different social circles and it caused tension but at the end of the day they either decided to break up or stay together and it had been on and off for several years now.  

Her comment had subdued him instead of riled him, and she was thankful for it.  

“So can we get together when you return? It’s fall break after all,” she heard him exhale to calm himself then ask.  

“Definitely. I will call you on my way back into the valley and we can go for drinks or something,” she agreed. He had to slip her phone between her shoulder and ear to free her hands so she could add her basic overnight hygiene items to her bag.

“That sounds like a plan,” Rafael agreed and then he paused, “I love you, sorry I yelled.”  

“I love you too,” she replied and smiled to herself before hanging up.  

She planned to Meet Leona at the Blackwheel bus station where they would then get on a bus to Isla Del Kashmire together. Neither Alarie nor Leona had their own vehicle so relied on other means of transportation to get around the region, thus the reason they needed Illyana to drive to Pandora. Leona would be coming to the station from Sim State University and Alarie would be arriving from Academie Le Tour. She had told her Mother that she and Leona would be spending the night at the house and then Illyana could pick them up early in the morning so that they could head out to the desert town six hours south.  

Alarie pushed the last of her clothes into her bag, pulled the cords tight to lock everything in, and then threw it over her shoulder. She was ready for a well-deserved break from school.  

Leona was already sitting on a bench in the Isla Del Kashmire terminal of the Blackwheel bus station loop when Alarie got off the connecting bus. It didn’t seem like she had been waiting very long.

“Hey girl!” Alarie waved and headed toward where Leona sat with her roller suitcase. It was much bigger and Alarie bet that Leona was bringing twice as many outfits, she did after all, have a concert to sing at. With Edric King no less! Alarie was ecstatic for her friend and on some deeper level, jealous of her talent and luck to be a part of something bigger.  

“You packed light,” Leona commented as Alarie sat down next to her on the bench.  

“You packed heavy,” Alarie laughed and shot back, toeing the roller suitcase, “Did you bring your whole wardrobe?”  

“I brought all my options. Maybe you and Illyana can help me pick what to wear for the concert.”  

“Don’t they have like a wardrobe department you can use?” Alarie asked.  

Leona hadn’t considered that. She’d just always worn what she wanted when she sang but it was possible this was a big enough deal that Edric King would need her to wear something standard for a backup singer. So she just shrugged.  

Alarie brushed her hair from her neck, thinking she would have to do something with it. It was much too thick and long to wear down in the desert. Her fingers felt the texture of the braid running around the side of her head and she got an idea.  

“Can you braid my hair tonight?”  

“What?” Leona laughed, not expecting such a request.

“Yeah like milk-maid type braids that I can just wear all weekend. I’ll boil to death if I leave my hair down, it’s like wearing a rug.” Alarie explained.  

“You’re exaggerating, but sure, it will be like we’re in grade school again,” Leona giggled, “Having sleepovers and braiding hair. All we’re missing is…”  

She stopped her mouth from completing the thought. She didn’t want to remind herself of what they’d be missing. Because she missed it too much. She missed him.  

Alarie didn’t need to ask what she had meant, but she hid a knowing smile from Leona as the bus pulled into the station.

Alanna had always been big fan of eating sweets before they were baked, cookie dough especially. So it was a small kind of torture being instructed to hold a bowl full of the sweet temptation while Franz decided what else to put into it. They had run out of counter space due to their large baking project they had spent all afternoon on for the bake sale the next day. They had already gone through scones, turnovers, pies, brownies, and lemon bars and now were on the last batch of cookies.

“Why can’t we just make them regular chocolate chip?” She wondered.  

He looked around the kitchen thoughtfully and shook his head, “It needs to be something more unique, we already have too many chocolate chip cookies.”  

Alanna had to disagree but didn’t voice it. There could never be too many chocolate chip cookies.  

“If the point is to sell them, wouldn’t simpler be better? Everyone likes chocolate chip cookies!” She protested.  

He gave her a sideways glance and then picked up a bag of raisins and Alanna took a horrified step backward, clutching the bowl to her protectively as if it were her child, “No! You are not going to ruin these cookies Franz Schoulsburg!”  

He shrugged one shoulder, took a few raisins out of the bag, popped them into his mouth and then grinned while he chewed them.  

“You told me that everything I baked was delicious, was that a lie?”  

“I never thought you would be blasphemous enough to put raisins into chocolate chip cookies,” Alana made a disgusted face. Obviously, she was not a big fan of raisins.  

“Fine,” he set the bag down much to her relief and instead picked up a bag of chopped almonds, “Will these be an acceptable alternative?”  

She nodded, nuts were a nice enough companion ingredient and she held the bowl outward. Franz stepped forward and started shaking almond bits out of the bag.  

They were using her parents’ kitchen since Franz didn’t want his mother to know about the bake sale, or how they were doing it all for her. Alanna thought it was a sweet thing to do and didn’t understand Franz’s insistence on keeping from her. His mother’s kitchen was much bigger and better prepared to handle their stock of baked goods.  

At least she was hanging out with Franz again. With Fall break basically upon them, she wouldn’t have daily assignments that took up her free time. Though Franz didn’t ever seem outwardly bothered or disappointed by that fact, she could tell he was when she had to decline his invitations to go to the bookstore like  they used to. Baking with Franz was a good activity despite the sad circumstance for it, it was actually fun, and the result was always delicious. Just never when raisins were involved.  

Franz must have baked bread earlier that day; Alanna caught the scent of it on his shirt since he was standing near enough. Though, she didn’t know he had made it for the bakery or for his culinary class at the community college. He shook the last bits of almond out and told her to stir the dough once more. It was harder the thicker the dough became, and it was too thick for a regular mechanical mixer.

When she was done, she handed him the bowl and he began to scoop out the cookie dough and lay it with precision into little rows of balls on a baking sheet. Since he didn’t need the stirring spoon anymore she quickly coveted it and started licking the extra dough off of it, relishing the sweet, soft, buttery taste.  

“So this is the last batch?”  

He nodded wordlessly, as he filled the last space on the baking sheet with a scoop of dough. He picked it up and slid it into the oven. Alanna grabbed the timer and wound it to 15 minutes, then set it onto the counter next to the oven. Franz turned and saw her continuing working on cleaning the spoon of the cookie dough and made a small chuckle.  

“What?”  

“You have some cookie dough on your face,” he replied. Alanna left the spoon in her mouth and quickly wiped at her face, seeming to hit just about everywhere except the actual place he was referring to. As he maneuvered past her, he reached out and brushed the spot just underneath her lip, clearing it away for her, “There.”  

She gave a laugh and thanked him before throwing the spoon into the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes they had made. Franz started bagging the scones and turnovers he had baked earlier that were now cool enough to touch. Alanna joined him to help, though she should have probably gotten a start on washing the dishes. One of the stipulations of them using her parents’ kitchen was she had to clean every last dish that had been used before she went off to the bake sale tomorrow.  

She planned on spending the night in her old room, waking up early and taking the goods to sell outside of the Mocha Chip Coffee Shop with Franz. She had already asked the owner if it was okay and they agreed. She had been a long time patron of the little coffee shop and since they didn’t sell baked goods–just coffee–it wasn’t like she and Franz were affecting or competing with their sales.

When a stretch of counter was cleared, all there was left to do with the goods was wait for the cookies to get done. Alanna checked the timer and found about five minutes left. Franz pulled himself up to take a seat on the counter. He’d been on his feet nearly all day and let out a deep sigh.  

Alanna leaned against the counter next to him, “How is your mom doing?”  

His large shoulders shrugged. Understandably, he didn’t seem to want to discuss it. She bit her lip, feeling bad if she had upset him by asking.  

In an uncharacteristic move he suddenly slumped forward with his hands covering his head, his hands running anxiously through his hair, seeming like he was trying to ease a headache away.  

“Franz? What’s wrong?”  

He was quiet for a few long moments, and she knew he was thinking of what to say. They could clearly hear the evening news from the living room where her parents were watching. The Thackerys had been kind enough to keep out of the way in the kitchen while Alana and Franz were baking, in addition to letting them use it and make a big mess of flour, sugar, and various fillings. They had ordered in pizza for dinner instead of interrupting the flow of the baking.

“I…I…don’t know if she’s going to be okay,” his voice finally cut through her thoughts, it was low-pitched as usual but it cracked with emotion as it wavered. He stared hard at the kitchen floor, “She won’t tell me how she is. I think she doesn’t want me to worry but it’s ten times worse when I don’t know anything at all.”  

Alanna felt a lump form in her throat seeing him so distraught. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how awful he was feeling. She lifted herself to sit on the counter next to Franz and put her arms around him while resting her chin on his shoulder to try and comfort him–to convey her utmost sympathy but she didn’t say a word because there were none she could think of that would help.  

Franz was not a touchy-feely type person, he was usually content to maintain minimal contact with others, but that was mostly a result of him not having a lot of opportunity to show and receive physical affection as he grew up. He hugged his mother on rare occasions, and he didn’t ever have the inclination to hug Fauna. He’d never even been kissed!

She had found that tidbit out about him when they were discussing a book they had both read when the romantic subplot came up. He had offhandedly admitted to her didn’t see the point of the characters kissing more than once because he got the gist of it the first time. When she explained that’s just how it’s written to convey realism of being in love, he still held the same sentiment. She had laughed at his attitude and called him unromantic but he just agreed with her assessment.  

Alanna had found out that despite his preference for minimal physical contact, he would tolerate her embraces. She had hoped it was because they had been friends long enough that he was comfortable with her doing it and got some sense of ease or enjoyment out of it. She enjoyed hugging Franz in any case—he was like a big, warm, plushie toy that only the most skilled people at carnival games could win.  

“Holy Plumbobs, what did you do to the kitchen?” They heard Alarie ask and Alana quickly sat up straight in surprise at the sight of her sister and Leona Hillenburg coming into the house.  

Alarie threw her duffle bag onto the dining table and walked into the kitchen to survey the mess they had yet to clean. Leona was dragging a rolling suitcase behind her. Their father appeared, hugged Alarie and then slightly chided Alarie for putting her duffle bag on the table and told her to take it upstairs, which she waved off and assured she would. Leona waved out a brief greeting at them before heading up the stairs.  

“We’re baking,” Alanna answered matter-of-factually.

“Are you spending the night here?” Alarie asked and crossed her arms, completely ignoring Franz. It was nearly uncomfortable the way the guy stared without emotion.  

“Yes, why?” Alanna responded. It was uncanny how Alanna looked at her with nearly the same, neutral expression. It was just one of the mannerisms Franz always had that seemed to rub off on her over the last few years.

“Leona is sleeping over, but I was going to have her use your bed. If you are staying over too, where is she going to sleep?”  

“Why are you even home?” Alanna asked. She hadn’t seen her sister in months. They went to school at different campuses and Alarie hardly picked up her phone when Alanna called.

“We’re going on a road trip tomorrow and have to wake up early. Illyana is picking us up. I’m consolidating!” Alarie explained, “Why are you home?”  

“I come home every weekend,” Alanna reminded her, though it wasn’t like Alarie paid attention or cared about that fact no matter how many times Alanna had heard her parents complain that Antoine and Alarie never visited. Alanna just found it a better studying environment during the weekend, being in a familiar place and not having to be interrupted by the girls in her dorm.

“Of course you do,” Alarie sneered, “I’ll just grab one of our old sleeping bags for Leona then.”  

Alanna disliked how her sister unfairly suggested through tone that it was Alanna’s fault that Leona had to sleep on the floor. If they’d just had asked, she would have let Leona sleep in her bed.  

The timer went ’ding’ signaling the cookies were ready to be taken out.  

“What was that about?” Franz asked and slid down from his seat on the counter to get the cookies.  

The unnatural frown on Alanna’s face lifted and she looked a bit sheepish for being caught in a mood other than her usual cheeriness. Her tone however, was not indicative of cheer.  

“Alarie thinks I’m perfect.”  

“What’s wrong with being perfect?” Franz asked as he crouched in front of the oven to see how the cookies looked.  

“I’m not perfect!” Alanna insisted and turned her back on him, her frown reappearing.  

“Okay. You’re awful. Absolutely horrid,” Franz said evenly but she could tell it was sarcastic.

She appreciated that he was trying to find humor but it was serious. All her life people seemed to think she could do no wrong. The truth was she hated disappointing others and tried not to do wrong by them, but then somewhere along the way she became one too many teacher’s pets, a regional science fair winner or the chess club president and then people thought she was too good for them, too intelligent, too pretty, or too kind—and it made it difficult to try and make friends or any meaningful relationships. Franz was the only person who seemed to see her for who she truly was and engage with her in a normal fashion. Not like Reggie, or her sister or their acquaintances.  

“I’m serious. Perfect is just an impossible expectation,” she grumbled.  

“That you have somehow achieved,” he said, again his voice was a deep monotone that most would take for seriousness but it was pure sarcasm. “Even when you can’t eat cookie dough without it getting all over your face.”  

She had to grin at his snark. How could anyone accuse Franz of being boring, emotionless or robotic? All they had to do was spend a little time with him and see he was full of character, and in fact was really amazing.

Alarie had dug out an old sleeping bag for Leona and placed it in the middle of the room between the two beds. She didn’t ever think she would have to share a room with Alanna after high school but here they were. Alanna had finished up the dishes and had went out with Franz, probably to do boring nerd things like read books to each other–leaving Alarie and Leona to pick through Alarie’s surplus of clothes.

They changed into their pajamas and sat on the sleeping bag in the middle of the room. Leona brushed Alarie’s hair behind her shoulders and began parting it out for braiding. It was something it seemed like she had done 100 times since they were little girls. Her father had braided her hair when she was a child and she didn’t like the way he had done it so taught herself better ways and since Alarie had roughly the same hair type, just a bit thicker, Leona would practice different braids on her friend.  

“You sure you want milk-maid style?”  

“Yeah, and make it as tight as possible too. I don’t want to have to do anything with my hair over the weekend,” Alarie instructed.  

Before Leona could start in on the actual braiding, they heard knocking. It was so loud that it drifted up to the second floor where they were.  

“What’s that?” Leona momentarily let go of Alarie’s section of hair and stood up to listen closer from the doorway.  

“I think someone is at the door?” Alarie guessed, not seeming very curious.  

“Who?”  

“Well, why don’t you go down and open it and find out?” Alarie leaned backward onto her elbows and smiled.  

Leona frowned, “It’s your house, why don’t you answer it?”  

“You’re closer to the door,” Alarie replied.  

Leona arched her eyebrow, thinking it ridiculous that Alarie was so lazy that she wouldn’t open her own front door when only a few feet further away than Leona was. Mr. and Mrs. Thackery were already settled in their bedroom, and they were a floor higher and probably didn’t hear the knocking. Alarie had on a grin, which could have meant anything at this point.  

“Fine, but it’s probably just Alanna and she locked herself out,” Leona rolled her eyes and went downstairs. The knocking was still consistent and heavy. A lot heavier than she would have suspected Alanna of.  If she thought about it more,  Alanna was much too responsible to get locked out and probably had her own house key. Leona had a sudden, definite doubt the person knocking was actually Alanna.  

She hesitantly turned the knob, not knowing who to expect and as she opened the door her body seemed to freeze—all except for her hands that flew to her face in utter surprise at the sight of him.  

“Hey there, songbird."

[gobigorgohome2016]

Sticking with my Resolutions:  New Recipes

One of my New Year’s Resolutions this year was to try one new recipe per week.  I LOVE to cook, but I also fall into a rut very easily where I’m  making the same dishes over and over.  

When I was going going through my house around New Year’s, I realized I have way too many cookbooks that are rarely touched.  I thought this resolution would help me find new recipes, diversify my diet, and enable me to do something that I absolutely love while also  helping me identify cookbooks that can go onto greener pastures.  Does every cookbook deserve to be splattered with cooking oil with love? 

I thought it would be fun to share with you some of the recipes I have tried in the past 6 weeks. 

Recipe #1:  Roasted Potato and Leek Soup from Ina Garten’s Barefoot Contessa Back to Basics

I chose this recipe after a long run on January 1st, and honestly I can’t think of anything better after a miserable, hung over, hilly run.  Dave and I both love potato soup, but have had a few fails recently.  I didn’t want to make anything difficult, so I thought this sounded perfect.  

Ingredients:

-2 lbs Yukon gold potatoes -4 cups chopped leeks -1/4 cup good olive oil -Kosher salt and black pepper  -3 cups baby arugula -1/2 cup dry white wine lemon juice and vinegar -6 - 7 cups chicken stock homemade vegetable stock -3/4 cup heavy cream -8 ounces creme fraiche sour cream -1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

-roasted brussels sprouts (not part of recipe, but I thought it sounded good).  

Since I linked the recipe I will save space by not including it.  Even though I made a few substitutions, this soup is probably my favorite new discovery of 2017.  It was incredibly filling and there was enough leftover for lunch and a dinner appetizer the next day.  I added crushed bacon for lunch, which was AMAZING.  

One thing that initially bothered me was wondering whether I was going to go broke trying new recipes.  Being the analytical person that I am, I determined the soup cost ~$7.92 (potatoes, leeks, arugula, olive oil, stock, and cream were organic).  This wound up equaling less than $1 per bowl.  Plus, I got to pretend I was on Chopped trying to use the leftover sour cream (cheesecake, guacamole), heavy cream (cheesecake, overnight oats), and leeks (substitute for onions).  

not my photo.  taken from recipe page.  

Recipe #2:  Pecan Butter Sea Salt Truffles from Run Fast.  Eat Slow.

Confession:  I don’t own Run Fast. Eat Slow.  I do, on the other hand, have a Runner’s World subscription, which published a few recipes.  I made these for a Mary Kay party I hosted the first week of January, and they went over SUPER well.  

Ingredients:

-2 cups pecans -10 Deglet dates, pitted 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

-2 TBSP coconut oil -3 TBSP maple syrup -3 TBSP unsweetened cocoa -1 tsp coarse sea salt

I was amazed how easy these were to make (directions in link).  Literally took me about 15 minutes.   I have a food processor and a Ninja, and I think in the future I would use the Ninja.  Again, I was a little concerned about price, but I bought the pecans and dates (both organic) in bulk at Fresh Thyme, and the entire batch (18) cost ~$4.50 to prepare.  Would most definitely make again.

Again, not my photo.  

Recipe #3:  Banana Chai Soft Serve from Chocolate Covered Katie Cookbook

My grad school roommate introduced me to Chocolate Covered Katie.  I am not one to seek out healthy desserts, but I would often look to her recipes for inspiration when I was lacking ingredients in my refrigerator, since she is vegan and gluten free.  The big difference, though, is that I never use artificial sugars, many of her recipes are heavily modified by me.

I was flipping through the cookbook when I came across this recipe:

I love chai, and I love bananas, so this seemed perfect.  I used the Ninja, which worked perfectly for this.  I have made it a couple times and just half the recipe for myself.  

Recipe #4:  Nonna’s Lemon Ricotta Biscuits from Food Network Favorites

This recipe is from Giada DeLaurentis.  Dave and I had leftover ricotta in the fridge for a while, and I was looking for a way to use it up.  This recipe was AMAZING.  

Ingredients: -2 cups all-purpose flour 1 cup wheat flour, 1/2 cup spelt flour, 1/2 cup almond flour -1/2 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp baking soda, 1/4 tsp cream of tartar -1/2 tsp salt -1 cup sugar -1/2 cup unsalted butter -1 TBSP freshly grated lemon zest lemon juice -1 cup ricotta cheese -1 large egg -1 TBSP lemon juice -1/2 tsp almond extract -1/3 cup sliced almonds

These turned out perfectly.  I like to add spelt flour to my baking to diversify the ingredients.  I have also been adding almond flour to muffins because I think it gives them a more crumbly texture.  Everyone who tried these muffins loved them. Would definitely make again. 

I can’t take pictures of food that you would want to look at.  picture from the food network website, linked above.

Recipe #5:  Chocolate Chia Power Pudding, from Chocolate Covered Katie Cookbook

I am always looking for ways to switch up my breakfast routine.  I recently scored an amazing deal at Kroger on organic white chia seeds, 1 lb for $2, in the clearance aisle.  I found this recipe:

For my pudding, I used almond milk, chia seeds, cocoa powder, and honey.  I was out of chocolate chips (sad).  

A couple things:  cocoa powder is really hard to homogenize.  I was left with tons of dry cocoa poofs that annoyed me.  Also, honey was probably not the best choice of sweetener, as it was very difficult to mix.  I didn’t love this, but would definitely be interested in trying to tweak it for my needs.  

Recipe #6:  Potato Kale Gratin

This recipe was chosen as an accompaniment for filet mignon I made on Valentine’s Day.  (I googled “sides to go with filet mignon”).  I chose this from a list of 17 sides because it contained ingredients that Dave liked (my side was sauteed portobella mushrooms from Julia Childs’ cookbook) and didn’t seem super time consuming.  

Ingredients: -1.5 lbs red potatoes -1 bunch kale -1/4 cup olive oil -4 cloves garlic 1 tbsp paprika  -3 tsp coarse salt -1 tsp pepper 1 tbsp parsley -1/3 cup bread crumbs -1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese -1/4 cup whole 2% milk 

The recipe (linked above) is fairly simple.  Boil potatoes, blanch them, massage kale, and layer.  It looked delicious.  Sadly, I was not impressed.  Instead of coming out crisp and brown, it came out somewhat sad and soggy.  Also, all the seasoning is in the kale!  The cheese does not hold the layers together, so unless you take a bite of kale with every bite of potato, you will be sad.  If you take a bite of just kale, you will be over-salted...which is hard to do in this house.  Probably won’t make again. 

You don’t even want to see what mine looked like!

Out of 6 recipes I don’t think it’s bad that 1.5 were misses.  I’m having a lot of fun with this experiment, and it’s helping me not only use up things in our fridge and freezer (ricotta cheese, bread crumbs made from a loaf of french bread we didn’t finish). 

[appletable80-blog]

falafel

Until recently, if you’d asked me if I ever wanted to make falafel at home, I’d have said “sure, one day” but what I meant was “nah, why bother?” I was certain that falafel was fussy to make and had a long ingredient list. It probably related in some way to a fritter, meaning that it was bound with eggs and flour, and probably had breading on it too, all pesky steps and this is even before you get to the peskiest of all: deep-frying them. I figured that it’s one of these things that there as many recipes for as there are people who make it, thus whatever I came up with would be wrong by default – too firm or too soft, with chickpeas instead of favas or vice-versa — no matter what. But this isn’t the whole truth. The fact is that below 14th Street, there are two locations each of Taim and Mamoun’s every time I even distantly considered whether I needed a homemade falafel recipe in my life, I knew I could get a perfectly executed sandwich in my hands before I even wrote out a grocery list.

Hey, I’m not proud of this. I pride myself on being a curious person in the realm of cooking so it’s pretty pathetic that I had falafel all worked up in my head as this highly complex thing and never once, you know, read a few recipes. Had I, I’d have learned many extremely cool things about falafel such as the fact that while you do need to start with dried chickpeas (come back!), you don’t even have to cook them, or not in the classic long-simmered way, to make it. You soak them overnight in cold water, grind them up with seasonings and herbs, pack them into spoonfuls, fry them in less than an inch of oil in merely a few minutes, and that is it. There’s no egg. There’s no breading. It’s vegan, it’s gluten-free, it’s dirt cheap, and it’s easy, I mean criminally easy, to make. And I had to do it immediately.

In real life, however, I waited until the first night of Hanukah for two reasons, one, fried food is basically the only rule of the holiday, and two, a family member has recently gone vegan and I weirdly love the challenge of trying new menus (obviously, the meal ended with this cake). Making falafel for 10 people was so easy, I had spare time to kill and so I decided to make pita bread too. Okay, I’m a little nuts but the fact is that 90% of storebought pita is dry and terrible and even the worst homemade pita, the couple that refuse to puff or puff erratically, as you see here, is still delicious.

Previously

One year ago: Dutch Apple Pie Two years ago: Union Square Cafe’s Bar Nuts, Homemade Irish Cream, Three years ago: Pull-Apart Rugelach and Tres Leches Cake + A Taco Party Four years ago: Decadent Hot Chocolate Mix and Gingerbread Biscotti Five years ago: Sugared Pretzel Cookies and Eggnog Florentines Six years ago: Cashew Butter Balls Seven years ago: Caesar Salad Deviled Eggs Eight years ago: Iced Oatmeal Cookies Nine years ago: Cream Biscuits, Coffee Toffee and Vanilla Roasted Pears Ten years ago: Feta Salsa and Carrot Cake with Maple Cream Cheese Frosting and Cranberry Vanilla Coffee Cake Eleven years ago: Tiramisu Cake, Rugelach Pinwheels and Chicken and Dumplings Twelve years ago: Blondies, Infinitely Adaptable, German Pancakes, and Winter Panzanella

And for the other side of the world: Six Months Ago: Linguine and Clams 1.5 Years Ago: Grilled Pepper and Torn Mozarella Panzanella and Crispy Spiced Lamb and Lentils 2.5 Years Ago: The Consummate Chocolate Chip Cookie, Revisited, Charred Eggplant and Walnut Pesto Pasta Salad, and Strawberry Milk 3.5 Years Ago: Crispy Frizzled Artichokes and Saltine Crack Ice Cream Sandwiches 4.5 Years Ago: Coconut Brown Butter Cookies and Pasta and Fried Zucchini Salad

Falafel

Servings: Makes 19 falafel fritters, for 4 to 6 pitas sandwiches

Time: 30 minutes plus an overnight and 30 minute rest

Print

I know many of us dread frying foods but for whatever it’s worth, making falafel involves none of the headaches that other fried foods do. You don’t need a lot of oil (3/4″ depth is fine.) You don’t need to stress over anything burning on the outside while still being unsafe to eat (fried chicken, I’m looking at you) in the middle. You don’t need to use an entire roll of paper towels and every counter in your home to drain the falafel because they weirdly don’t pick up much oil at all. In fact, I measured the oil I used before and after making falafel and found that each ball picked a scant half-teaspoon of oil. You put 3 to 4 in a pita. They are shockingly unheavy and ungreasy.

This makes 19 pieces of falafel about 1.5 inches in diameter, using a 1.5 tablespoon cookie scoop to measure. I estimate 3 to 4 for each medium-large pita sandwich portion, to make 4 to 6 total, but we preferred only 3 in each. This recipe scales easily; I’d recommend doubling it for a crowd or even just to stock your freezer for a future falafel night.

1/2 pound (1 1/4 cups or 225 grams) dried chickpeas

1/2 a large onion, roughly chopped or 1 cup chopped scallions

2 to 4 garlic cloves, peeled (I use 4 but adjust to your tastes)

1/4 cup finely chopped fresh parsley, if you’re measuring, or a big handful

1/4 cup finely chopped fresh cilantro, if you’re measuring, or a big handful

1 teaspoons fine sea salt or 2 teaspoons kosher salt, plus more to taste

1/2 to 1 teaspoon hot red pepper flakes or mild ones such as urfa biber or Aleppo

1 teaspoon ground cumin

Peanut or vegetable oil for frying

To serve: Pitas, tahini sauce (below), tomato-cucumber salad, harissa (homemade or storebought) or another hot sauce (such as zhoug), and any pickled vegetables you wish, such as cucumbers, red onion, or mango (amba)

The night before: Place chickpeas in a large bowl and add enough water to cover them by a few inches. I like to put 1 tablespoon of kosher salt per pound of chickpeas in this water too; it will not toughen the beans or slow down their cooking time, it simply seasons them. Let the chickpeas soak overnight.

An hour or so before you’d like to eat falafel: Drain the chickpeas well. In the bowl of a food processor or a really strong blender, place the onion, garlic, and herbs and pulse the machine until they’re coarsely. Add the drained chickpeas, salt, and spices and process until blended to a fine chop but not pureed. You’re looking for a texture like cooked couscous plus some slightly larger bits throughout. You should be able to pinch it together into a shape that holds.

Transfer chickpea mixture to a bowl, cover with plastic, and place in refrigerator for a few hours, if you have it, but I find even 30 minutes is helpful in getting the mixture to thicken and hold shape better. [This is when I like to get everything else ready.]

To shape the falafel: Form the chickpea mixture into walnut-sized balls. You could use a falafel scoop, if you have one, tablespoon measuring spoon, or even a cookie scoop, as I did. The most important thing is that you press it into the scoop tightly to compress the ingredients, then gently roll it in the palm of your hands to form a ball. Repeat with remaining chickpea mixture. (If you’re like me, you imagine you can just do this as you add them to the pan, but they cook so quickly, you’ll be happy to not have to multitask. Trust me.)

To cook the falafel: Heat 3/4 to 1-inch of oil in a medium-large frying pan to 375°F. Fry about 6 falafel fritters at a time, turning them over once they’re a nice toasty brown underneath, and removing them once the second half has the same color. This took me about 3 minutes per batch. Drain on paper towels and repeat with remaining fritters.

[Don’t have a thermometer? Well, 375 is very, very hot. It takes my frying pan of oil on high heat about 5 minutes to reach this temperature. You can also test a small ball; if it cooks in about 3 minutes, it’s probably about the right temperature.]

To serve: I like to split open a pita and start with a little tahini sauce (below) and a spoonful of salad at the bottom before adding 3 to 4 falafel fritters. Stuff and finish with a more generous scoop of tomato-cucumber salad, more tahini sauce, a hot sauce of your choice, and pickles, if you wish.

Some extended notes:

To make tahini sauce: I have trouble nailing down precise measurements measurements for tahini sauce because you really want it to taste, and tahinis vary between brands. But, it’s roughly this for this amount of falafel: 1/2 cup well-stirred tahini + 1 clove garlic, minced or finely grated + Juice of half a lemon, plus more to taste + salt, to taste + water, as needed, to thin tahini into a sauce. It’s not strange to need at least as much water as you do tahini to keep it loose and spoonable, but I add it a tablespoon at a time, whisking to combine, tasting along the way.

Some falafel recipes contain flour (to make it heavier and more firm), some contain baking powder (for fluff), but after making a batch with both, I found I preferred the purist route, with neither. Should you wish to add flour, add 1 tablespoon at time, frying off a ball after each addition until you get the texture you wish, not going further than 4 tablespoons or it will be excessively leaden. To add baking powder, you could use 1 to 1 1/2 teaspoons for the whole recipe below, but personally, I found the change in fluffiness nominal, and the texture without it not lacking at all.

I’d forgotten how easy it is to make pita bread and have proceeded to make it 4 more times in two weeks, sometimes for falafel and other times just to go with a really great soup or stew. The recipe was fine as written but I’ve cleaned it up and simplified it because it’s easier than it made it sound. They rewarm well or can be kept warm in a basket lined with a napkin or cloth towel for a while. You know you wanna.

You guys, I am that weird home cook that finds chopping things cathartic which is why in the 10 years since my mother-in-law bought me one of these (she uses it to make picture-perfect Salad Olivier and vegetable soups), I hadn’t once used it. Well, I looked at the great mass of cucumbers and tomatoes I wanted to chop on Hanukah and decided there was no time like the present to give it a spin. It bashed up the tomatoes a bit but I regret nothing.

Source: https://smittenkitchen.com/2018/12/falafel/

[pearcar93-blog]

falafel

Until recently, if you’d asked me if I ever wanted to make falafel at home, I’d have said “sure, one day” but what I meant was “nah, why bother?” I was certain that falafel was fussy to make and had a long ingredient list. It probably related in some way to a fritter, meaning that it was bound with eggs and flour, and probably had breading on it too, all pesky steps and this is even before you get to the peskiest of all: deep-frying them. I figured that it’s one of these things that there as many recipes for as there are people who make it, thus whatever I came up with would be wrong by default – too firm or too soft, with chickpeas instead of favas or vice-versa — no matter what. But this isn’t the whole truth. The fact is that below 14th Street, there are two locations each of Taim and Mamoun’s every time I even distantly considered whether I needed a homemade falafel recipe in my life, I knew I could get a perfectly executed sandwich in my hands before I even wrote out a grocery list.

Hey, I’m not proud of this. I pride myself on being a curious person in the realm of cooking so it’s pretty pathetic that I had falafel all worked up in my head as this highly complex thing and never once, you know, read a few recipes. Had I, I’d have learned many extremely cool things about falafel such as the fact that while you do need to start with dried chickpeas (come back!), you don’t even have to cook them, or not in the classic long-simmered way, to make it. You soak them overnight in cold water, grind them up with seasonings and herbs, pack them into spoonfuls, fry them in less than an inch of oil in merely a few minutes, and that is it. There’s no egg. There’s no breading. It’s vegan, it’s gluten-free, it’s dirt cheap, and it’s easy, I mean criminally easy, to make. And I had to do it immediately.

In real life, however, I waited until the first night of Hanukah for two reasons, one, fried food is basically the only rule of the holiday, and two, a family member has recently gone vegan and I weirdly love the challenge of trying new menus (obviously, the meal ended with this cake). Making falafel for 10 people was so easy, I had spare time to kill and so I decided to make pita bread too. Okay, I’m a little nuts but the fact is that 90% of storebought pita is dry and terrible and even the worst homemade pita, the couple that refuse to puff or puff erratically, as you see here, is still delicious.

Previously

One year ago: Dutch Apple Pie Two years ago: Union Square Cafe’s Bar Nuts, Homemade Irish Cream, Three years ago: Pull-Apart Rugelach and Tres Leches Cake + A Taco Party Four years ago: Decadent Hot Chocolate Mix and Gingerbread Biscotti Five years ago: Sugared Pretzel Cookies and Eggnog Florentines Six years ago: Cashew Butter Balls Seven years ago: Caesar Salad Deviled Eggs Eight years ago: Iced Oatmeal Cookies Nine years ago: Cream Biscuits, Coffee Toffee and Vanilla Roasted Pears Ten years ago: Feta Salsa and Carrot Cake with Maple Cream Cheese Frosting and Cranberry Vanilla Coffee Cake Eleven years ago: Tiramisu Cake, Rugelach Pinwheels and Chicken and Dumplings Twelve years ago: Blondies, Infinitely Adaptable, German Pancakes, and Winter Panzanella

And for the other side of the world: Six Months Ago: Linguine and Clams 1.5 Years Ago: Grilled Pepper and Torn Mozarella Panzanella and Crispy Spiced Lamb and Lentils 2.5 Years Ago: The Consummate Chocolate Chip Cookie, Revisited, Charred Eggplant and Walnut Pesto Pasta Salad, and Strawberry Milk 3.5 Years Ago: Crispy Frizzled Artichokes and Saltine Crack Ice Cream Sandwiches 4.5 Years Ago: Coconut Brown Butter Cookies and Pasta and Fried Zucchini Salad

Falafel

Servings: Makes 19 falafel fritters, for 4 to 6 pitas sandwiches

Time: 30 minutes plus an overnight and 30 minute rest

Print

I know many of us dread frying foods but for whatever it’s worth, making falafel involves none of the headaches that other fried foods do. You don’t need a lot of oil (3/4″ depth is fine.) You don’t need to stress over anything burning on the outside while still being unsafe to eat (fried chicken, I’m looking at you) in the middle. You don’t need to use an entire roll of paper towels and every counter in your home to drain the falafel because they weirdly don’t pick up much oil at all. In fact, I measured the oil I used before and after making falafel and found that each ball picked a scant half-teaspoon of oil. You put 3 to 4 in a pita. They are shockingly unheavy and ungreasy.

This makes 19 pieces of falafel about 1.5 inches in diameter, using a 1.5 tablespoon cookie scoop to measure. I estimate 3 to 4 for each medium-large pita sandwich portion, to make 4 to 6 total, but we preferred only 3 in each. This recipe scales easily; I’d recommend doubling it for a crowd or even just to stock your freezer for a future falafel night.

1/2 pound (1 1/4 cups or 225 grams) dried chickpeas

1/2 a large onion, roughly chopped or 1 cup chopped scallions

2 to 4 garlic cloves, peeled (I use 4 but adjust to your tastes)

1/4 cup finely chopped fresh parsley, if you’re measuring, or a big handful

1/4 cup finely chopped fresh cilantro, if you’re measuring, or a big handful

1 teaspoons fine sea salt or 2 teaspoons kosher salt, plus more to taste

1/2 to 1 teaspoon hot red pepper flakes or mild ones such as urfa biber or Aleppo

1 teaspoon ground cumin

Peanut or vegetable oil for frying

To serve: Pitas, tahini sauce (below), tomato-cucumber salad, harissa (homemade or storebought) or another hot sauce (such as zhoug), and any pickled vegetables you wish, such as cucumbers, red onion, or mango (amba)

The night before: Place chickpeas in a large bowl and add enough water to cover them by a few inches. I like to put 1 tablespoon of kosher salt per pound of chickpeas in this water too; it will not toughen the beans or slow down their cooking time, it simply seasons them. Let the chickpeas soak overnight.

An hour or so before you’d like to eat falafel: Drain the chickpeas well. In the bowl of a food processor or a really strong blender, place the onion, garlic, and herbs and pulse the machine until they’re coarsely. Add the drained chickpeas, salt, and spices and process until blended to a fine chop but not pureed. You’re looking for a texture like cooked couscous plus some slightly larger bits throughout. You should be able to pinch it together into a shape that holds.

Transfer chickpea mixture to a bowl, cover with plastic, and place in refrigerator for a few hours, if you have it, but I find even 30 minutes is helpful in getting the mixture to thicken and hold shape better. [This is when I like to get everything else ready.]

To shape the falafel: Form the chickpea mixture into walnut-sized balls. You could use a falafel scoop, if you have one, tablespoon measuring spoon, or even a cookie scoop, as I did. The most important thing is that you press it into the scoop tightly to compress the ingredients, then gently roll it in the palm of your hands to form a ball. Repeat with remaining chickpea mixture. (If you’re like me, you imagine you can just do this as you add them to the pan, but they cook so quickly, you’ll be happy to not have to multitask. Trust me.)

To cook the falafel: Heat 3/4 to 1-inch of oil in a medium-large frying pan to 375°F. Fry about 6 falafel fritters at a time, turning them over once they’re a nice toasty brown underneath, and removing them once the second half has the same color. This took me about 3 minutes per batch. Drain on paper towels and repeat with remaining fritters.

[Don’t have a thermometer? Well, 375 is very, very hot. It takes my frying pan of oil on high heat about 5 minutes to reach this temperature. You can also test a small ball; if it cooks in about 3 minutes, it’s probably about the right temperature.]

To serve: I like to split open a pita and start with a little tahini sauce (below) and a spoonful of salad at the bottom before adding 3 to 4 falafel fritters. Stuff and finish with a more generous scoop of tomato-cucumber salad, more tahini sauce, a hot sauce of your choice, and pickles, if you wish.

Some extended notes:

To make tahini sauce: I have trouble nailing down precise measurements measurements for tahini sauce because you really want it to taste, and tahinis vary between brands. But, it’s roughly this for this amount of falafel: 1/2 cup well-stirred tahini + 1 clove garlic, minced or finely grated + Juice of half a lemon, plus more to taste + salt, to taste + water, as needed, to thin tahini into a sauce. It’s not strange to need at least as much water as you do tahini to keep it loose and spoonable, but I add it a tablespoon at a time, whisking to combine, tasting along the way.

Some falafel recipes contain flour (to make it heavier and more firm), some contain baking powder (for fluff), but after making a batch with both, I found I preferred the purist route, with neither. Should you wish to add flour, add 1 tablespoon at time, frying off a ball after each addition until you get the texture you wish, not going further than 4 tablespoons or it will be excessively leaden. To add baking powder, you could use 1 to 1 1/2 teaspoons for the whole recipe below, but personally, I found the change in fluffiness nominal, and the texture without it not lacking at all.

I’d forgotten how easy it is to make pita bread and have proceeded to make it 4 more times in two weeks, sometimes for falafel and other times just to go with a really great soup or stew. The recipe was fine as written but I’ve cleaned it up and simplified it because it’s easier than it made it sound. They rewarm well or can be kept warm in a basket lined with a napkin or cloth towel for a while. You know you wanna.

You guys, I am that weird home cook that finds chopping things cathartic which is why in the 10 years since my mother-in-law bought me one of these (she uses it to make picture-perfect Salad Olivier and vegetable soups), I hadn’t once used it. Well, I looked at the great mass of cucumbers and tomatoes I wanted to chop on Hanukah and decided there was no time like the present to give it a spin. It bashed up the tomatoes a bit but I regret nothing.

Source: https://smittenkitchen.com/2018/12/falafel/