#also yes i genuinely just write like this naturally and used to always be called a walking thesaurus
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Will Logan Ever Be Happy?
An Extensive Analysis of Logan Sanders' Spotify Playlist and Predictions for the Future of His Character Arc
Logan's Playlist on Spotify
Logan's Playlist on YouTube Music
A few quick notes before we delve in…
This is an extensive analysis in the sense that it's currently around 16,930 words long. Please feel free to read it at your own leisure.
The description of Logan's Playlist on Spotify explicitly states to listen to these songs in order of their listing. This indicates a progression of sorts – of feelings, events, and the plot of the story being told here. It is important that we listen in order, and it seems like Logan would prefer us to listen this way to best understand what it is he is trying to convey.
The repeated themes found throughout many of these songs include: isolation, depression, regret, nostalgia, perfectionism, miscommunication, being the odd one out of a group, recognition of flaws, loss of control, being disliked, a love and familiarity for learning, and finding solutions to problems.
It should also be noted that a handful of these songs are told in second-person perspective, using “you” to indicate a main subject, as though the story is being told by the speaker about someone else’s actions to that someone else, rather than explaining anything outright about themself or how they feel about it. By doing this, the speaker is instead choosing to focus on others and only allowing the listener to sense and interpret how the speaker was affected by what the other party in the song had said or done. This by itself can easily indicate Logan’s insistence to let others take that stage, even when it’s his turn to tell his story, or to show off the faults of others in lieu of focusing on his own failings.
It may be important to remember that as we continue.
The Elements by Tom Lehrer is a simple starter song, as we know. Logan began as a friendly teacher character, someone to help guide Thomas through learning and encouraging curiosity and wonder within him. He helped Thomas to find solutions to problems with the most useful answers, and implored him to keep trying, keep researching, until he truly understood a topic. This was something good, something commendable.
In particular, this song involves a listing of the complete periodic table of elements, something that Logan, as Thomas’ Logic, likely would have to have known very well, considering the focus of Thomas’ major in college. This would have been information Logan used frequently in Thomas’ studies and schoolwork prior to the events of the series, which helps to signify this early interpretation of Logan’s character.
This is the early beginnings. It’s a solid starting point, telling us what we need to know about Thomas’ perception of who he believes Logan is meant to be.
Immediately after, we have White and Nerdy by Weird Al Yankovic, which, similar to the first song, is meant to give us a sense of Logan’s character. Thomas sees him as a helpful teacher, but he also sees him as a very nerdy, reserved, uptight, and pretentious kind of person who likes learning trivia and reading mystery novels and watching sci-fi shows and doing puzzles and making wordplay jokes. This fleshes Logan out more as a character, not just showing us who Thomas sees but giving us more perspective on what to expect from him.
[lyrics:
I wanna roll with the gangsters
But so far, they all think I’m too white and nerdy]
Early on in the series, the sides only appeared momentarily to help offer suggestions and advice to Thomas relevant to what he needed. There seemed to be less cohesion with the group, mainly due to a lack of narrative at the time, but the sides still appeared to work together so long as each stayed in their respective areas of expertise. Despite that, lyrics in this song seem to imply Logan had already seen himself as an outlier to the rest of Thomas’ sides. He recognized that this came at fault of the interpretation of his character, the personality he displayed, his mannerisms, even his interests.
From the very start, Logan was being viewed as something different and distinct in comparison to the other sides.
These first two songs are meant to be reminiscent of not only our first impressions of Logan’s character, but also of Thomas’ overall impression of him early on in the series.
Within the first few episodes, this is how Logan was interpreted and seen, as a nerdy but supportive teacher-like character. Based on Thomas’ vine character of the same attire, Logan was originally meant to be respected but relatable, someone who could understand the kids he was teaching, but was also full of incredibly useful knowledge and knew exactly how to convey that information in a way that would encourage and enlighten those around him.
As one of Thomas’ sides, however, he was minimized to only being Thomas’ Logic, someone who still had an incredible wealth of knowledge and used it to teach and guide Thomas specifically, but he was also someone who was meant to be more stereotypically “nerdy” by Thomas’ standards. He was still able to act as an instructor to Thomas and to the audience watching, but his status of authority was diminished, because now he was no longer a teacher, he was merely another part of Thomas.
This is where Algorhthym by Childish Gambino comes into play. This song indicates a recognition of the world and how it functions, but also a fear to do anything about it, to step out of line. This lends to Logan’s perfectionism, yes, but it also shows that Logan is highly aware of his position as Thomas’ Logic, and what is expected of him. He knows very well that he does not perfectly fit the mold that Thomas has made for him to fill.
Early in the song, there are mentions of misunderstanding directions and testing the waters in objectionable ways.
[lyrics:
Made us the guinea pig and did it with no permission
Told her to call a friend, didn’t tell her to listen
So very scary, so binary, zero or one
Like code is like coal mine canary]
Being put in a position without a choice in the matter, Logan is very aware that he has a big role to fulfill. He’s being depended on to do his job right. But there has, at no point, been any guidance for him to follow. It’s not as though there’s a training manual out there on how to be Thomas Sanders’ Logic, which means Logan can only attempt to figure it out as he goes along.
Now, this is no different from the other sides, as they all lack any kind of instruction on how to do their jobs, either. They all just have to make mistakes and learn from them to improve and get better with time. And, typically, this should be a good thing, but in Logan’s particular case, his job requires him to be relied upon as the one with the answers and solutions, so if he’s seen as someone who makes mistakes, that ruins his ability to be trusted to give those answers in the first place.
Making mistakes would contradict his purpose as Thomas’ Logic, but if he didn’t make mistakes, he couldn’t learn from them and get better like the rest of them. However, it’s inevitable that he will make mistakes because he has no idea how to do this job because he didn’t have any training involved before he started. But if he makes mistakes, he could lose that job, or the job itself could become misconstrued or defunct due to his failures. It’s an unpleasant and repeated cycle with no clear end.
Logan aims for perfection, knowing the risk of failure is so high and comes with such consequence, but he still has hope that something might work out. He also doesn’t seem to have much of a choice otherwise.
But he's already beginning to loop back around in circles over this, even so early on into the series, and this leads him to questioning why the world works this way. Just why does it contradict itself so much?
[lyrics:
I dream in color, not black and white]
He already realizes that he is seeing everything in a different way than Thomas and the other sides do. The world is so much bigger than the arbitrary parameters that are being set for it. Understanding and learning may need rigid guidelines to teach a beginner, to not overwhelm them, but once you know the basics, you can take those training wheels off and start exploring just about anywhere. If you want to try more adventurous feats, you’ll need better gear, more specified knowledge, but it’s not as though you are barred from entry. There is always more to learn, you simply have to go looking for it.
But the world somehow seems to think that’s not the case. Many believe that you either know something or you don’t, or that things can only be either one way or another, with no nuance involved. Instead of understanding all the shades of gray and color in between every moment, every idea, that there’s fluidity and the ability to shift and change at almost every turn, they choose to rely on what they’ve already learned and refuse to challenge it, even when the opportunity arises to do so. The world has so much more to offer than the black-and-white to which people often cling.
There’s so much space in between every atom, infinite amounts of empty air, that which we can barely comprehend, yet we see an object, a person, or any full form as completely solid, contradicting what we expect. We may say a penguin cannot fly, and yet you could put one as a passenger on an airplane and that could be considered flying. It has just done what was thought impossible. It is all about our perspective and the rules we set in place for our world that limits what we believe we know and understand, but that doesn’t mean that’s how the world actually works.
Unfortunately, changing someone’s mind can be very difficult, especially when you’re the one who contributed to them learning those basics to help them conceptualize the topic in the first place. It can be very hard to teach someone that knowledge is genuinely limitless, especially when they have found less use for it as time goes on and no longer have a desire to keep learning.
The song then indicates that the way a human behaves doesn’t always make logical sense, but that they value their life and experiences.
[lyrics:
Humans don’t understand, humans will sell a lie
Humans gotta survive, we know we gon’ die
Nothing can live forever, you know we gon’ try
Life, is it really worth it? The algorhythm is perfect, mmh]
Logan can comprehend this notion, even if he doesn’t quite understand and see the world in the same way as Thomas does; even if he believes some of his actions are illogical, he knows Thomas’ ability to live his life to the fullest is something memorable. He can recognize its importance overall, even if he doesn’t fully agree with how it’s done.
Logan likely comes to realize by this point, even so early on, that compromise is the best option here, just as we saw in the episode The Mind vs The Heart. Even if he doesn’t see things in the same way as others, he can still meet someone halfway, and hope that they can meet him halfway in return.
However, nothing is ever that easy, it seems. Just because he’s willing to step back and take another’s perspective into account does not mean others will do the same for him.
This more or less encapsulates the rest of the song from his perspective. He learns to stop challenging that which doesn’t want to be challenged, attempts to follow what is expected of him, even if what is expected of him is a perfection that he is unsure can even be achieved. He has to compromise some of these details and nuances so that the world can still run on its bizarre rules, for Thomas’ sake, and this results in him having to step away from his goals to make way for the others’ instead, or even to be pushed away when his insistence to the contrary isn’t appreciated, like we saw in the episode Moving On Pt 1: Exploring Nostalgia.
He learned fairly well that day that sometimes emotions took priority over intelligence, and even if Logan didn’t fully comprehend the purpose they served in solving that dilemma, he was attempting to find a proper answer that would be of benefit to Thomas regardless. But what he learned instead was that his efforts were unwanted simply because he was viewing the situation from a very different perspective than the others were.
As such, he began to learn not to question these parameters that the world operates upon. He needs to do what he can Within those parameters to ensure Thomas’ survival and simply hope that he’ll thrive with knowledge (and Logan) as his guide.
And that is exactly why the next song is Fitter Happier by Radiohead. The whole song is a monotonous text-to-speech vocalization of varying guidelines one may expect for someone to appear as and/or be human. As the list goes on, the more inhuman the stipulations become, betraying the real purpose behind the list, that this is someone attempting to appear perfectly human while misunderstanding what that means entirely.
Again, Logan was never given a guide on how to do his job, so he had to just make it up as he went along and attempt to do it perfectly without any help or reassurance. From Logan’s perspective, he knows his goal is to make sure Thomas survives to live his happy life, but his expertise in helping Thomas achieve this relies on knowledge and facts, not emotions or empathy. This results in Logan’s attempts coming off as unempathetic, cold, and strict, not to mention completely missing the point of living.
But because he is doing this solo, and because he has awareness of the consequences of failure, he is aiming for perfection and doing his best with what resources he does have – which happens to be his own intelligence and what he can learn through research. Unfortunately, when it comes to life and living, Logan’s limited only to the facts, and his primary focus is Thomas’ survival, nothing more.
[lyrics:
Not drinking too much
Regular exercise at the gym, three days a week
Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
At ease
Eating well, no more microwave dinners and saturated fats
A patient, better driver]
This is why some of the lyrics list guidelines such as “regular exercise at the gym” or “eating well, no more microwave dinners and saturated fats.” These are the types of recommendations you would hear from a doctor or nutritionist, examples of efforts that may result in longer life. If someone only cared about extending their life or living healthily, these would be excellent suggestions. But when they are devoid of any emotion, removed from relationships with family and friends, absent of aspirations and goals for someone to enjoy said life, the suggestions instead become robotic and inhuman. Yes, you can live longer by following these steps, but you may not enjoy the extra time you are given to do so if you only follow these suggestions and nothing more.
This is something that was discussed during the Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? episode, where Logan asserts that creating a balance of daily tasks to maintain his wellbeing will allow Thomas to live a long life. Roman argues that if Thomas spends all his time taking care of himself, it doesn’t give him enough time to pursue his dreams and he insists that he must instead take risks and give priority to his aspirations. In the end, Thomas found his motivation in a balance of both of these recommendations, that he should maintain his health while also taking the chance to achieve his goals.
While a human genuinely needs that balance, to have both sides of this argument included to find true motivation to keep going, these individual sides within Thomas are always likely to see their own mindset and opinion on the matter as the priority, as the “right” way to do things. This is exemplified by Patton’s addition during the end credits scene, where he offers his opinion on the topic about having the opportunity to add positivity to the world. His belief is only an addition to the discussion and wouldn’t detract from Logan and Roman’s suggestions, but it shows that each of Thomas’ sides have their own views on what the real answer is meant to be and that they do not agree on this notion, even if they do see eye-to-eye at times or are willing to work together for Thomas’ sake.
This song is likely meant to remind us of that episode specifically, and what Logan’s opinions on the matter were at that time, indicating his goal is for Thomas to maintain a balanced and healthy lifestyle so that he has the ability to survive and live a long life. It shows us that without the others, there is a lack of balance, but it also shows that Logan is striving for perfection, with special regard to Thomas’ needs, not necessarily his wants or desires. After all, that’s Roman’s department, right?
And this is a big factor in why the sides don’t often get along with each other. They each have their own idea of what is actually best for Thomas, and when it comes to Logan, he has an easier time arguing his points because he has all the data to back him up. This doesn’t keep the others from fighting against him, nor does it keep Thomas from taking the others’ side anyway on many occasions, but it’s still something he can rely on when everyone else is against him.
But even if he cares about Thomas’ survival most, is what he’s proposing truly the “right” way to go about it?
If he learned anything from Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?, the ending of this song may indicate he recognizes that Thomas may well live a long life with his suggestions, but would not necessarily be happy in that life, so perhaps perfection isn’t the right goal to have in mind.
Happiness, however, can be very subjective. For instance, happiness to Logan would likely involve the satisfaction of a job well done, or the opportunity to learn something new, so what would life for Thomas be if he couldn’t have that?
This is what leads us into the next song, Medicine by STRFKR, which continues the thoughts on perfectionism and the problems that arise from it. Perhaps due to the events associated with the last song, Logan has come to realize that the goal of being perfect is either truly unattainable or, as this song seems to suggest, prevents the desire to continue learning once reached. Logan, of course, would not want Thomas to have peaked when it comes to obtaining knowledge, as there will always be something you don’t know, there will always be something new to learn. If perfection removes a desire to know more, he wouldn’t be able to encourage Thomas to learn anything new, even something for his survival. As such, his goal of perfection is flawed.
However, this now completely conflicts with his earlier notions about his own aspirations of perfection, as he must be knowledgeable and helpful for Thomas, to provide him with what he needs without flaw, without failure. He must be perfect, but perfection is not possible. He must be perfect, but perfection begets disinterest and prevents further learning. So, perfection should not be his goal because it will be of overall detriment to Thomas.
His new goal needs to be something else, but he must still maintain something as close to perfection as possible, because Thomas’ perception of him cannot be altered. Thomas will still expect perfection of him, but he can never truly attain it because it’s both impossible and would ultimately remove his purpose to Thomas as Logic. Such a feat is even more difficult to achieve than perfection, so he’s very much stuck at this point and will need to figure out a new solution to this complicated problem.
[lyrics:
Sorry
So helpless
So help you
Any way you like]
When in doubt, Logan knows he can turn to one thing: Thomas’ preference on the matter. If Logan can’t decide on the best course of action, he will instead choose whatever it is that Thomas wants, as that is how he may obtain his happiness even when working with a less-than-perfect Logic.
After all, if perfection was not the true goal, then perhaps it was meant to be whatever Thomas wanted instead. Logan didn’t need to reach perfection, he just needed to reach Thomas’ expectations. The goalpost had moved, but it was still in sight, and now he’d just have to create a new strategy in order to find success, meaning it was time for some experimentation to his approach.
[lyrics:
(spoken behind music)
The following of them does not depend on believing in anything, in obeying anything, or on doing any specific rituals
Although rituals are included for certain purposes because it is a purely experimental approach to life]
Between the events of Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? and Learning New Things About Ourselves was a fun little promo episode known as Crofter's: The Musical, and while it may not seem all that relevant in the grand scheme of things, it’s important to remember the focus of the episode relied on Logan’s extraordinary adoration of Crofter's jam.
Given his love for the product, he was ecstatic at his opportunity to be recognized through that which he admired – by being featured on a specialized version of the product itself. It’s a high honor, it’s respectable, it’s cherished. This is a great moment for Logan, seeing a lot of his efforts come to fruition in an interesting and unique way.
However, it is soured by Roman’s bruised ego, as he prefers his spotlight and sees this one moment as Logan being viewed more favorably than him overall, and then it is further ruined by the mention of Logan’s wordplay and puns throughout the episode as him acting unusual, notably unserious. Logan becomes rather concerned during the end credits scene as the others point this out about him, and he realizes that he needs to maintain the status quo after all.
His experimentation in finding a balance, of what was acceptable and what was not, resulted in him understanding that he could not engage in sillier interests publicly so as not to alter the others’ perception of him and his purpose to Thomas or tarnish his reputation as a practical, reliable, knowledgeable side. He must continue to keep emotions removed from his position as Logic, even with perfection off the table as a motivating factor.
Now, before we move on to the next song, I want to re-establish whereabout in the timeline of the series we are by this point.
We had the early origins near the start with The Elements song and White and Nerdy, which likely took place somewhere within the first couple episodes that featured Logan. We dipped into Algorhythm, which likely took place around the time the actual plot and deeper characterization began appearing in the show, somewhere between The Mind vs The Heart and Moving On Pt 1 & 2. Then, Fitter Happier seems to strike some similar chords as the episode Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? from Logan’s perspective alone, meaning we’re fairly far into the series already. Medicine is somewhere around Crofters: The Musical, which means we are about to get to Learning New Things About Ourselves.
That was an episode that definitely served as a big turning point for Logan and how he readdressed his role as Thomas’ Logic and perceived how he was meant to fulfill his position.
This is also the point in the playlist where things seem to take a much darker and negative turn.
For now, we move on to the next song, which is The Watchtower by The Dø.
Now, @intrulogical has a great analysis of the meaning that may be associated with this song from Logan’s perspective, that Logan may overthink and prefer to hide away from others out of shame when he doesn’t perform adequately, that he recognizes his mistakes and has, on multiple occasions, offered to leave the discussion in order to benefit the others and Thomas. He has taken to suggesting his removal from the situation when he doesn’t seem to have the solution they need or when he has become emotional in times where he shouldn’t be, meaning that he has come to realize it may be a better option for him to leave, rather than stay and potentially make the situation worse.
We already know that he has come to understand perfection is not possible but must still maintain something akin to it, feeling shame when mistakes are inevitable. We know he experimented with his approach to no avail, where he learned he must remain emotionless and cold to be successful. The amount of stress from trying to meet expectations, maintain restrictions, and adapt himself for the others’ benefit is beginning to take its toll on him.
The Watchtower is a song that seems to suggest Logan’s methods are what make him a true outlier among the group, but the lyrics literally start out with “I’m breaking, I need another start” which would mean this is a reaction to his stressful situation, not an action Logan chose in advance.
But he is still prepared when reacting like this. He has weighed the options; he has taken past experiences into account. He has more knowledge now on how to be Thomas’ Logic in a way that fits Thomas’ expectations, and he is no longer blindly attempting to do his best without failure and is instead using what failures he’s already had to recontextualize his understanding and guide his next actions.
But he still needs to appear as flawless as he possibly can, for Thomas and the others, so that he still embodies his role as Logic, so that he can still be relied on and trusted to do his job. While he recognizes perfection is not possible, he will still get as close to it as he can.
While stress may be a factor, this may explain some of the true motivation behind his desire to hide away in these moments, or at least his belief that it would be easier to solve these dilemmas from farther away.
[lyrics:
From the watchtower
Where we can see things coming
Good or bad, at least we see things coming
From the watchtower
Where we can read the future
Whatever it says, at least we know what’s up]
Within these lyrics, we can see that this is a very divorced perspective to have, as though Logan prefers to solve issues from a distance, removed from the situation itself and able only to view it, not directly interact with the parties involved.
Using his influence on Thomas to solve the issue without being present in Moving On Pt 2 after he abruptly left in Moving On Pt 1, Logan has shown that he can be successful when he isn’t there to be talked over and insulted, be overwhelmed by everyone’s emotions and concerns, or have his own uncontrolled emotional outbursts. He can stay unbiased, practical, and clear-headed from a distance and achieve the best results.
This explains why he attempted to leave after his outburst in the episode Learning New Things About Ourselves, because he had seen prior success in doing so.
However, it’s clear that there are some consequences to this approach.
[lyrics:
I don’t mind
if I’m impopular
I’m thinking
And no one in particular]
Another repeated notion throughout the series that Logan is now well aware of is that he is not very well liked. While this seems to stem from a combination of the expectations put on him and his stricter handling of the others’ more outlandish ideas, at this point, and the lyrics suggest he tries to make it seem as though it doesn’t bother him. But we know otherwise, because Logan does continue to attempt to garner favor from Thomas, the other sides, and the audience. It’s why he picked up the slang word flashcards, and it’s partly why he tries to use more relatable metaphors and analogies to explain complicated subjects. He does want to be liked, respected, and Heard, even if he claims otherwise.
His attempts to remove himself from the group to benefit Thomas and perform his duties from afar only seem to add to this dislike that’s been building for him. His absence prevents him from building and maintaining any relationship with the other sides (not that he was making much progress with that around that time in the series regardless). When he has his outburst in Learning New Things About Ourselves and tries to then leave the discussion entirely, he is quickly stopped by Patton who insists he stay instead. He would have preferred to leave, knowing he was more beneficial to Thomas if he was unemotional. Unfortunately, because he stays, he is unable to resolve the issue for Thomas like he had before, and instead spent the rest of the episode uncomfortable and unable to relate to the emotional concepts that were applied.
He comes away from that situation recognizing his own misunderstanding of the others’ actions in their attempts to help Thomas, but there is no solution found, only a slight improvement to Thomas’ mood about the discussion on the whole. And on Logan’s part, he was also left without a solution, resulting in him adding this as another failure to his list and believing that he will need to do more to better accommodate the other sides and Thomas’ emotions in order to achieve the best results.
[lyrics:
I’m breaking
I need another start
Far away from the city lights]
This follows the lyrics at the end of the song, repeating exactly how it started. Nothing was resolved here; Logan only sees his mistake and feels ashamed for it. He still wants to solve Thomas’ issues from a distance, but now he’s more aware of the emotional stakes that he hadn’t been implementing in his solutions before this point.
He has decided that he’ll do better, but he isn’t sure how to do that exactly, and he’s still hurting, but that’s left unacknowledged.
And Logan only comes to realize that the others are pulling away after this, as we see in Selfishness vs Selflessness, where he wasn't included in the courtroom scenario and pushed to the back and out of the way after the one moment where he could be helpful.
Logan can see that this is what Thomas and the others want for him, to stay out of their way, because he apparently can't understand them in the way they prefer. Never mind the fact that the inverse is true, too.
And that leads us to the next song, The Breach by clipping.. At a minimum, this song is very concerning, but also a helpful indicator as to what seems to be happening and possibly even why.
[lyrics:
Generally operating normally
A small anomaly has become evident
And probably should be noted]
In simple terms, something has changed, and likely not for the better. Something is different.
If we’re aware of the timeline of the story, this is sometime after the episode Learning New Things About Ourselves, which means it's likely about Remus’ arrival in Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts and how it signifies Thomas’ declining mental health.
Something specific that should be mentioned about this song first is its lyrics. They are read as a computer observing a situation, assessing the variables, and stating plainly the solution to be enacted by others. This is similar to what Logan was able to successfully do in Moving On Pt 2 and would have preferred to use as his approach in Learning New Things About Ourselves, which is to stay distant from the situation itself but address everything calmly and without emotional disruption.
However, the lyrics are also given in very quick succession, indicating a hastiness to the necessity of these instructions. This could mean that if the subject does not act swiftly, the results may not be optimal.
[lyrics:
First: the recommended course of action should be to
Administer a sedative to all the cargo via ventilation
The ship is fully capable of automating this
But requires an approval code from the administration]
As he learned in Learning New Things About Ourselves, Logan has to better accommodate the other sides’ emotions (as well as Thomas’) and their concerns on the matter in order to competently resolve the issue, so appearing and calmly explaining what needs to be done is the approach he chose. But that didn’t work out at first due to the same issues he’s been having this whole time, which is everyone’s reluctance to listen to him as well as their insistence on keeping him out of the group, especially while they are all so emotional themselves in that moment.
In order for this to work, he would need to convince Thomas and the others to trust him and to listen to what he had to say. In reality, Logan can only give them the advice they need here, he can’t actually fix it for them, hence the lyric, “but requires an approval code from the administration.” They can’t logic their way out of this but using logic can guide them away from the overly emotional response and provide the instructions needed to find that solution.
Logan applies the instructions from the song – administer a sedative? Calm the others back down. The importance of alacrity? Speak with confidence, stay positive. Send security immediately? Logan took charge of the situation at hand because no one else was handling it.
Logan keeps himself level-headed, refuses to show any emotional response (not to Remus, not to Virgil, not to Patton), and displays his worth as Thomas’ Logic to the best of his ability. And it works fairly well, as he manages to calm the other sides and Thomas down while also warding Remus off and tiring him out. It took longer than he probably expected, but he accomplished what he had set out to do.
Despite the end of the song sounding like an electric-powered warzone, the episode Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts had ended on a positive note for Logan, as he was praised by Thomas for being cool, with how he handled the situation so smoothly and didn’t let anything affect him. This marked a success for Logan, and he now knows that addressing situations with swift action, getting right to the point while also allowing for the other parties to vent their feelings on the matter, and staying composed and unemotional himself while addressing the problem was the best course of action, at least while Thomas was in this type of mindset and far more stressed than he had been in the past.
Perhaps he really has finally figured out how to be a proper Logic for Thomas after all.
Unfortunately, whatever elation he had in that episode doesn’t last long, as our next song, Letter C by Zach Sherwin, is all about being embarrassed by others and reflecting back on the situation later to think of something cleverer that could have been said in response.
As this is something he has dealt with a handful of times in the series as a whole, Logan wishing he could have thought up a better comeback to the others’ insults in the moment is not unheard of, and it could easily be inferred that he’s done this type of reflection on his own many times.
[lyrics:
And now it’ll linger forever but I’ve been stewin’ over
What I’d say to him if I could do it over]
The song lyrics mention how this situation lingers, that it’s something Logan thinks about repeatedly, even though we know there have been multiple moments like this. He remembers it for a long time, he thinks back on each one, wishing he could have done something more when he had the chance.
This is a moment more steeped in pride than obligation to his duty as Logic, however. While his desire to be viewed as clever and informed comes from the expectations of him as Thomas’ Logic, his desire to be respected as Better than the other sides in this particular way does not.
As was told in Learning New Things About Ourselves, it seems Logan habitually criticizes the others and becomes more standoffish in response to stress and a lack of order, as though the lack of control in a situation supercedes his judgement on how to behave among the other sides. In attempt to regain that control, he tries to place himself and his importance in the matter above others, which only causes additional problems.
In reality, all the sides should be balancing each other out, but the system currently in place is not balanced at all, and we often see sides like Logan further down the ranks than others on a regular basis. This can explain his desire to level it back out or rise even higher, to prove that he should be listened to and respected, and he could easily convince himself that his reason for this desire stems from his necessity to Thomas as opposed to any correlated feelings of shame or pride.
Thomas needs his logical side, someone to act as his voice of reason when the others are too emotional and rowdy, someone to provide unbiased facts instead of the others’ leaning opinions, someone that he can trust to always be in his corner and do what’s best for him every time. While the others turn Thomas’ gaze to the future or the past, Logan does everything he can to keep him steady in the present, so long as Thomas actually listens.
Logan had spent a lot of time to change and be better for Thomas, to meet and exceed his expectations. He adapted his thoughts, his methods, his temperament, all to best accommodate Thomas and his needs. So, it makes a lot of sense that he’d have a lot left unsaid after everything he has tolerated throughout the series. He wishes he could have the respect he believes he’s owed instead of continuing to endure insults left and right, but for now, he can only make up such scenarios where he comes out on top in his mind.
A moment of respite comes with what's next on the playlist, Galaxy Song from Monty Python (as sung by Stephen Hawking), which has a delightful message of enjoying the wonder found in our universe. There’s already so much to learn on our planet, but there’s endlessly more available to us out in the rest of the ever-expanding universe.
The song jabs at the inevitable stupidity of some people but chooses not to complain or find a way to be better than them. Instead, one should choose to refocus on something positive, to distract themself rather than to dwell on it. It’s better to think about something you enjoy rather than something you hate, right? And this makes it seem as though it’s a response to the last song in this way, that Logan has dealt with another insult or stressful situation and was unable to respond in the way he preferred, so now he’s choosing to ignore it and think about something fascinating to pass his time in a healthier and nonjudgmental way. Ignoring the situation is no better than stewing over it, but at least this way he gets to think about something he appreciates.
Neither of these songs seem to have a particular place in the overall storyline from the series, by the way. They seem to embody multiple similar occurrences over the course of the show, indicating that this has happened before, continues to happen, and will likely keep happening in the future. However, it’s not a great situation to repeatedly have to handle, especially if Logan is still as stressed as we know he is, and if he simply keeps permitting it to happen without speaking up properly about why it bothers him, then it will never change.
The next song, Streaks, is itself a very interesting song that embodies a lot of nostalgia, both good and bad, that Logan holds about his past with Thomas – teaching him, helping him study, guiding his path through school and college. Sadly, we know that Thomas proceeded to let his Chemical Engineering degree collect dust so he could instead pursue an acting career and become a successful Youtuber as an adult. To Logan, these more creative interests overtook his studies and Thomas’ potential for a stable and well-earning career.
[lyrics:
All these years of filling out papers
Building a future
Keeping your head down
Tryin’ to keep a head on your shoulders
Keep it creative
Make it your own somehow]
From these lyrics, we can see the inclusion of creativity as a secondary to getting the work done, showing something that was discussed in Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? as Logan proposed that Thomas maintaining a healthy lifestyle and doing his work tasks needed to take priority over creative pursuits and aspirations. This could imply that, during Thomas’ school years, Logan may have had a lot more say in what Thomas should do to be successful in his classes and to get into college, and that he didn’t turn away Thomas’ interest in creativity but preferred it to not take priority over his schoolwork.
But, as we know, what may have started as a creative outlet soon grew into a genuine interest and then a full acting career that negated the entire point of all of Logan’s hard work. If Thomas had wanted to be an actor or a Youtuber all along, why did Logan put so much effort into getting Thomas to study, to do his work, to get into college, to earn his degree? He couldn’t even be proud of such an accomplishment because it served no purpose to Thomas as an adult. It didn’t signify anything except wasted effort on Logan’s part.
[lyrics:
Throw ‘em in the water
Let ‘em sink or float
Give ‘em what they need to move on
Then you let them go]
This sounds like something you’d hear from a parent watching their child grow up and move onto adulthood and pursue their own life away from the family home.
Logan had done his part, he taught and guided Thomas in everything he needed to know in order to achieve success. And when it came time for Thomas to follow through, he proceeded to veer off to a completely different path and Logan could do nothing but watch it happen. Thankfully, though, Thomas Had found success, just not in a way that Logan had expected.
He hadn’t even prepared for this type of eventuality – it was unknown territory.
But Logan could adapt, he could make this work. He’d shown he was able to overcome past obstacles, and he found ways to implement research and education into Thomas’ creative career, giving him an opportunity to still learn something new. He just needed to stay relevant and keep Thomas’ interest and continue encouraging him to learn. However, that proved much harder to do when Thomas refused to listen to him.
Thomas had grown to require much less from Logan over time, having moved away from the days of tests and studying to bigger and better adventures. It left Logan with very little to do for Thomas but maybe to appear when he had no one else to turn to.
It was as though it wasn’t just Thomas’ degree that he’d placed up on a shelf to collect dust, but Logan, too. To stay tucked away, unused for years, only ever coming in handy for very specific situations and nothing but an embarrassment or eyesore in others. What use could he possibly have anymore? Why should Thomas be proud of him when he didn’t need him for anything?
Now, if you’ve noticed, these past few songs seem to lean more heavily toward emotions than the ones that came before them. Letter C was about embarrassment and feeling shame over his mistakes and how he’s been treated, trying to use his pride to combat it. The Galaxy Song was about relief and ignoring the situation to escape to wonder and curiosity as a coping mechanism. And now Streaks is about nostalgia, the wistful longing for what once was, and the painful memory of what came of that despite all his effort.
He’s embarrassed, he’s running away from the problem, he’s sad.
You see, Logan is trying to find a solution here by using something similar to what the other sides might try when they are the ones struggling. He’s copying their methods. Roman leans on his pride to sooth his ego and to make himself feel better, Virgil runs away and hides from his issues, and Patton delves into nostalgia and strengthens his sadness, feeling it deeply.
This implies that Logan doesn’t quite understand how to handle whatever it is that he is feeling, but he's paid close enough attention to what the others have done, even if he doesn't understand why or how it's meant to help. Now that he's searching for some sort of solution on his own, he experiments, tries something new based upon his research and facts, rather than asking for any kind of help.
Remember, he can’t tarnish his image as a near-flawless Logic that is supposed to already know everything, who they’re supposed to be able to rely on. So, he will have to solve this one on his own, too, by just trying things out until he eventually gets it right. That is what the experimental approach is for, after all.
But these emotional songs are only the beginning, and they’re about to take a stark turn.
Next is What I Do For U by Ra Ra Riot, which is a song absolutely steeped in frustration and anger. In so few lyrics, it says a lot of what Logan has been mulling over lately in the storyline. We know his frustration over everything has been building more and more.
[lyrics:
I want you to survive
Anything you need]
This song gets right to the point with its opening lyrics and even the chorus. It tells us that Logan’s efforts, all these recommendations to Thomas, all the schedules and planning, all this encouragement for him to eat healthy and take better care of himself, all his guidance and advice and helpfulness serve one purpose and one purpose alone – to help Thomas survive.
[lyrics:
What I do for you
I do for you]
Everything he does, he does for Thomas.
But does Thomas recognize that? It doesn’t seem so.
And this, of course, bothers Logan. It doesn’t just bother him, it angers him. Logan has put in so much of his time and energy over the years into doing everything perfectly for Thomas, with no help in doing so this entire time. Prioritizing Thomas’ wellness over everything, listening to the others even when he couldn’t understand their emotions, remaining level-headed and calm around their puns and insults and threats, hiding his interests and holding back his words so they wouldn’t think less of him. He has worked against obstacles and odds of which the others aren’t even aware. He has bent and molded and reshaped himself in so many ways to better accommodate everyone else, to match their expectations, to make them happy. He did it for them.
But what does he get in return? Mocked, disrespected, and ignored.
And, worst of all, Logan knows just how important he is to Thomas! Well, in function, at least. Thomas would not survive without Logic, and yet Logan seems to be the only one to recognize that fact. He can’t even be respected for his function, his purpose in keeping Thomas alive and well. It’s one thing if they didn't like Logan, but wasn’t the fact that he was needed for Thomas’ survival enough for them to tolerate him, at the very least?
[lyrics:
I’m your only hope
And I’m your savior too
Every single test
You’ve been ever carried through]
On top of that, and as we saw in the Working Through Intrusive Thoughts asides episode, Logan has been attempting to solve Thomas’ issues by himself, relying on his knowledge and experience with Thomas to determine the best approach in every situation without consulting the other sides at all. At some point in the series, Logan came to believe that he was the only one who actually cared about what Thomas needed, that he was somehow the only one actually keeping Thomas alive. He believes he is the only side who’s clear-headed enough to handle Thomas’ problems, the only one who can act as a voice of reason, the only one who offers practical and useful solutions.
This is, unfortunately for Logan, not actually true, but it makes sense why he would come to this conclusion, considering that every side disagrees on what they think is best for Thomas. The other sides tend to focus on their own self-interests and goals as guiding factors while Logan is the one who deals the most in absolutes and factual information. Something that Roman suggests can be complete fantasy, impossible to ever achieve. Something that Patton suggests can be unreasonable to follow through on or would only hurt Thomas in the long run. Something that Virgil suggests can be rooted in negativity and self-doubt, bringing Thomas’ mental health down as a result. Janus’ suggestions can be incredibly biased and not always socially acceptable. Remus’ suggestions…well. They can be both uncomfortable as well as impractical.
But Logan never gives impossible, impractical, or biased recommendations to Thomas. He uses research to find what would work best for the situation, then applies it to his knowledge and experience with Thomas to determine what would suit him most, and then suggests it outright, explaining in simple terms a way in which it can be implemented.
He does all the hard work for Thomas, so that all he’ll have to do is simply follow through. Each time, he does this with Thomas and his needs at the forefront of every offer.
Yes, he can go overboard a bit, just like all the other sides, but he thinks that just means he needs to be flexible and allow for some exceptions to balance things out, allow Thomas to be happy in his survival. After all, he has learned so much over the course of this series, hasn’t he?
He learned to compromise with those he disagreed with in The Mind vs The Heart. He learned that too much or too little of any side’s influence could bring detriment to Thomas in Accepting Anxiety Pt 1 & 2. He learned that emotions could override intelligence and present a major problem in Moving On Pt 1 & 2. He learned that finding some balance between his suggestions and the others’ was optimal in Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?. He learned that such balance could not be applied to himself as he had to maintain his role as an unemotional Logic and stay serious in Crofters: The Musical. He learned that he needed to expand his understanding of why Thomas preferred emotions over intelligence despite the need for both in Learning New Things About Ourselves. He learned that the other sides and Thomas could apparently solve their issues without his presence in Selfishness vs Selflessness. He learned that his method of taking action and solving the issue for them when they were too emotional to do it themselves was more efficient in Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts. He learned that, despite his willingness to help, the others much preferred to solve issues without him in Putting Others First. He learned that his method of efficiency in solving Thomas’ problems on his behalf was not particularly welcome and would not earn him the respect he desired in Working Through Intrusive Thoughts. He learned that despite continued efforts, the others still won’t listen to him or to each other in Have I Grown? – Five Years Later. He learned that, as the logical side, the others would always assume he was against them and their ideas in Can Plushies Improve Our Health?
He's learned…a lot. Overall, he has concluded that he is needed but not wanted, that he has the answers but not the perfect method to apply them, that he apparently should allow for emotions to guide the other sides and Thomas while keeping himself cut off from them entirely, and that he should be implementing logic only where it is most required or when specifically requested.
Logan has found what he believes should work best for Thomas, but has also realized that Thomas is refusing to listen. Thomas doesn’t want to do things that benefit him, he doesn’t want to do things that will make him feel better, and Logan certainly can’t force him to do them, either, even when he’s sure it will help. Are the suggestions the problem or is it because it’s Logan suggesting them that keeps him from doing it?
Logan is very determined to perform his function, to keep Thomas alive and well. He wants to empower him to overcome the mental health difficulties he’s been facing lately, and to allow him to take care of his needs, but Logan’s doing all of this by himself because he doesn’t believe anyone else is capable nor wants to do what has to be done.
The other sides prefer to only dabble in the fun parts, the emotional parts, and leave the complicated and messy stuff to Logan alone. And if Thomas refuses to listen just because it’s Logan telling him the answer, then it puts everything at a standstill, including Logan’s purpose for even being there.
It frustrates him. He feels like he’s been put in this unwinnable position, always made out to be the bad guy when all he does is care about Thomas’ survival and wellbeing.
[lyrics:
I couldn’t ever give up on you
But don’t thank me]
He, quite literally, could never stop doing his job as Thomas’ Logic. He could never stop doing his part, keeping everything afloat, making sure that Thomas can still function, even when Thomas’ mental health is fighting against him at every turn.
Throughout all of Working Through Intrusive Thoughts, we see Logan pause or postpone his plans so he can redirect Thomas and attempt to salvage his mental health, give him time to refocus. He knows it’s a priority right now. He has learned time and time again that emotions are more important than logic in this world, even if logic is the reason he knows and can implement ways to help Thomas to calm down and manage those emotions.
Logan knows by now that he can only help when he’s asked to or when he’s needed most, but after every obstacle and barrier he’s managed to push through, after being the only one who cares enough to do anything to help, he’s left tired and frustrated. He just wants Thomas to listen, for once, for his own benefit, so that he might understand what it is Logan hasn’t been able to say because he’s been pushed down and away for so long.
He shouts out “Stop ignoring me!” to Remus, but Remus knows it’s not really him that he wants to yell that at, and he’s right. Logan’s frustration is mostly with Thomas, and this song shows that very clearly.
He won’t give up on him because he physically can’t, but maybe he has stopped caring about why that is. Maybe he will just do his job, meet the bare minimum of expectations, and not care about the rest anymore.
When Thomas asks him “What’s next?” in the Have I Grown? anniversary video, Logan simply responds, “You tell me.”
He knows his opinion doesn’t matter. He knows no one listens to what he has to say. His suggestions are ignored, his advice is unwanted. Why should he bother giving a damn any longer if Thomas and the other sides clearly don’t give a damn about him?
And that’s where we get to the next song, Erase Me by Ben Folds Five.
This is a very pivotal moment, and it’s notable that it seems to be something that will happen in the near future of the series, because, as of the last song, we have already surpassed all currently released (and relevant) episodes of Sanders Sides in this timeline of the playlist. Erase Me will be related to whatever happens next in Logan’s arc, which also means everything from here on out is more of a prediction than an analysis.
[lyrics:
What was our home?
Paper, not stone
A lean-to, at most]
There’s a lot going on from the very start of this song. First, Logan’s perspective of the mindscape, the “family” of Thomas’ sides, and the system they’ve been using to keep Thomas going was clearly built on shaky foundation, paper-thin and ready to fall at a moment’s notice. Patton holding back negative emotions and then pushing Thomas to prioritize others over himself, Roman pushing himself too far and letting passion fuel Thomas’ every move in desperate attempts to look like the good guy, Virgil’s persistent presence alone despite his efforts to do better only to turn around and assume the worst of Thomas’ opinion of him, Janus’ meddling and his attempts to get Thomas to understand his issues without saying anything outright and only confusing him more and making him feel more guilty, and Remus being abrasive and outlandish to grab Thomas’ attention at every chance he has even if it comes at a detriment to Thomas’ health. It really was only a matter of time before things fell through.
Thomas struggling the way he has been was bound to happen because he wasn’t taking care of himself, he would only listen to some sides far more than others and wasn’t listening to his voice of reason much at all. This created an unfair and, at times, toxic environment for the sides to live and work in. All of them constantly trying to grab Thomas’ attention was what kept them from paying attention to Thomas and what he needed instead.
This became increasingly evident after Janus showed up in the narrative, and has been explicitly clear since Remus’ arrival, too. Thomas is not doing well mentally, and his sides are all stressed out which is making it worse. Logan can recognize all this from a detached, outside perspective despite also being just as affected. He’s been trying to keep things together for Thomas, working on his own to fulfill every role being left undone while the others are too upset to handle things as they typically could, but unfortunately, Logan’s finding it hard to care anymore.
[lyrics:
And when you pulled
Your half away
Gravity won
Like it always does
Did I weigh a ton?
Would it be easier
To just delete
Our pages and the plans we made?]
So, this song is sung in a very accusatory tone, poking at a specific person (mainly because it is originally a break-up song). The speaker is very upset and angry with the other party, and they are relaying their observations and asking why, asking if it was their fault this happened.
“And when you pulled your half away” implies that Logan was not the instigator of whatever preceded this incident, but as we saw with the last song, Logan holds some beliefs about Thomas and the other sides that are not fully true but are not exactly contested either. He could easily see their insistence in pushing him away, ignoring him, and refusing to listen even when Thomas is in desperate need of help as their act of pulling away from him, even if he is the one who has finally let go.
And while I don’t want to get too particular with my predictions, I do believe it’s very possible a last straw for Logan at this juncture may very well involve Thomas’ mental health and what he genuinely needs for survival.
If you’ll remember, Logan now believes he is only truly needed when it is absolutely necessary and there are no other options, or if he is specifically requested to help in some way, so if there is a situation that requires his attention, only for him to show up and be rejected yet again, he may just give up at that point.
And Logan thinks he is the only side genuinely looking out for Thomas, not just for his needs but his wants, as well. Thomas had specifically asked for his help in the Working Through Intrusive Thoughts episode, only for him to take on multiple roles to keep Thomas calm enough to handle himself. And Logan was the only one who bothered to ask Thomas what He wanted in the Can Plushies Improve Our Health? promo video, before even making his argument that everyone else assumed would be in opposition but turned out not to be.
Logan sees himself as that last remaining straw, really. If something is going to finally break him, it will be Thomas and the others. It will be their negligence, their refusal, their rejection of him that finally bends him too far, pushing him to a point where nothing can ever be the same again.
[lyrics:
So what will you do
With no me for you
I know what we said
What if I left
A thing or two?
We know that you don’t seem
To think about what you need
‘Til you reach to find that you’ve—
Erased me]
Like I said, Logan sees himself as the only one holding Thomas together. He believes that, without him, everything would fall apart and turn to chaos, and he’s probably right about most of that.
These lyrics are the speaker predicting what will occur, that the others won’t even notice his absence until they need him for something, and that’s when they’ll realize he’s already gone. This indicates a potential plan to leave, maybe not fully ducking out but certainly not sticking around either. Something that would keep Thomas’ logic functional for use while also allowing Logan a reprieve from him and the other sides, where he would only be used as one would a tool; tucked away in storage until the moment it is needed, then put right back afterward.
Leaving is the key here, though, and it’s something we’ve already seen result in detriment to Thomas back in Accepting Anxiety Pt 1 & 2, and yet, Logan has come to believe that this is a favorable option. Why? Is this to help him feel vindicated, to teach them a lesson?
It's not as though they want him around enough to stop him from leaving anyway.
You know, both the title and chorus of this song portray a very particular message, as “erase me” is not the speaker’s action, because he is not the one erasing himself. Rather, it is a suggestion to the other party so that they can finally be rid of the speaker. The lyrics are also taunting with these words, as if to say that this is what the other party has wanted all along anyway so they should just do it already.
Logan is asking, pleading, for Thomas to let him go because he obviously doesn’t even want him around. Logan doesn’t want to put up with this anymore, and as angry as he is at how he’s been treated, he knows he can’t just give up on Thomas, he’s literally a part of him. This has to be Thomas’ decision, Thomas’ action. Thomas has to be the one to push Logan away, the one to erase him.
Logan isn’t just angry at this point, he’s miserable. He knows he’s unwanted and barely needed, as he serves so little purpose to Thomas in his current career and doesn’t get along with any of the other sides despite everything he has tried to do to correct that. They’ve made it clear they don’t want him around, and they have already proven they can solve issues on their own without his help. He doesn’t need to be there, so why won’t Thomas just let him go?
[lyrics:
Erase me, and you’ll never have to face me
Erase me, Option-Command-Escape me
And if you feel nothing, guess what I wanna be?]
A fun little tidbit of knowledge here, but the Option-Command-Escape function on an Apple computer is its force-quit option, to completely cease a program from running. The program can’t do this itself; the user has to combine those three keys to make it happen. And when they do, the program will have closed and shut down completely. Often this is used when a program isn’t working the way it’s supposed to, when it fails to do its job. By doing this, you put it out of its misery.
Logan isn’t just asking to leave, to only benefit Thomas from afar or only as needed, he is essentially begging for death. He no longer wishes to function at all, because he believes he has no purpose to Thomas or the others. He is pleading for Thomas to let him go, find someone else who could do a better job as his Logic, someone who they’d actually enjoy having around.
For Logan to reach this low of a point, something truly devastating has to have happened to him. I cannot possibly predict what may truly set him off in this way, but given the most recent events in the series, he isn’t all that far from this point already. Likely, it will involve his worth and use to Thomas, and it won’t just be that he was forgotten or tossed aside like in SVS and SVS:R, but that Thomas or the others doing something that will clarify his uselessness out loud, where it can no longer be denied. There will be a divide that leaves him alone on the other end, finally and truly aware that he will never belong here.
Desperation that turns to anger to hide away its shame and misery, Logan won’t just duck out like Virgil had in Accepting Anxiety Pt 1. He would lash out, make sure Thomas and the others knew exactly why he wanted to leave, and begging that they be the ones to cut that connection for him. Maybe he will do something to push the issue, to give them a reason to do it. Perhaps the Orange side will emerge at this point, either to assist him in whatever he’s trying to do or to take over for him or something else entirely.
Regardless of what happens, Logan has now hit a very low point, and everyone knows it.
The next song is Art is Dead by Bo Burnham, which by itself can imply quite a few things.
As if simmering down from the initial blast of heat in the last song, there's still anger and annoyance here, but also a realization.
Something I want you to understand about this song before we relate it to Logan and why it’s included in this playlist is that the speaker is talking about a position, specifically an entertainer, and is saying that what they do is problematic. The speaker is complaining about another party, only to then turn around and include themself within that party. They are not just saying “entertainers are bad and here’s 50 reasons why.” They are saying “entertainers are attention-seekers, and so am I.”
So, when you then put this into perspective with Logan and the message he’s been trying to convey, he is pointing out flaws that he sees in what is likely Roman, as well as Thomas, but he’s also including himself as part of the problem. He recognizes that he, too, seeks attention – from Thomas, from the other sides, from the audience. And he doesn’t feel that it’s a good thing, he sees it as shameful because he knew why it was an issue, and yet he kept doing it anyway.
This seems like a moment of self-reflection, to see that he is not above the others at all, in fact he’s not that different from them when it comes down to what they all want, which is Thomas’ attention. Every single one of them is trying to be heard, but Thomas has only been listening to some of them. And most of them never feel that what they do get is enough, no matter how much it is.
This song shows that Logan knows he wants Thomas’ attention, but also that he doesn’t feel he’s done enough to deserve it. He believes he hasn’t even earned a right to complain like he has. He’s ashamed for how he’s acted because he thought he was supposed to be better than this. He doesn’t deserve the respect he thought he was owed; he doesn’t deserve anything.
With this song, he has somehow managed to dig even lower than his last low point, he’s just sorry for all the trouble he’s caused. Maybe his emotions got out of hand, maybe the Orange side caused problems but it was his fault because he let it happen – who knows? Even if he felt vindicated in the moment, it was clearly fleeting, and now, after the events of what happened, Logan only feels worse.
And then we get to Equation from The Little Prince next on the playlist, and we’re still in that zone of self-reflection, but it’s no longer about how Logan’s just like the others. No, now it’s all about his own flaws, his own failures, and everywhere that he’s fallen short.
Logan has now managed to dig even deeper than his lowest low, folks! It just gets worse and worse! Can you believe it?
[lyrics:
Will I ever know
How white is the snow
Does it matter after all?
Will I ever learn
How to fly like birds]
In this lowest point, Logan can only come up with questions that have been left unasked. Did he hurt Thomas? Did he ruin whatever he had with the other sides? Will he be forever trapped in this world Thomas created for them, with no way to truly explore the real world, to see its full wonder? Will he ever have a chance to do better, to be better, to hope again? Will he ever reach his true potential? Did he ever even have a true potential?
He had attempted and failed to find perfection for so long. He believed it was just a matter of trying, of wanting to meet Thomas’ expectations of him, that if he put his all into it, then he could see it through and be what exactly what Thomas wanted him to be, to be what everyone expected him to be, to be what Logan himself hoped to be.
Hours, days, weeks, years… In the end, it was never truly possible, and yet he had kept foolishly hoping for so long that he could be enough for Thomas. He had called the others’ ideas irrational, when, really, it was him all along with the impossible dreams.
[lyrics:
Are you good as gold?
Are you far from hope?
Are you well alone,
Dad?
Will I be a brave?
Will I be a bright?
Will I be a good grown-up?]
The future was never certain, but now Logan could never be sure of anything. What will become of him? What will become of Thomas? Is it even possible to recover from this, to start over, to get better?
We then move on to the next song, Sunrise from In The Heights. Logan is not doing well, but something he definitely needs more than anything right now is some sort of hope and motivation to keep trying and keep going.
Sunrise appears to be a song meant to involve either Roman or Patton communicating with Logan, but the purpose in its placement on this playlist seems to infer emotion as a motivation to learn, if you break the romantic intent away from the song itself, that is. Anything can motivate one to learn, even love, and Logan must be able to recognize this and understand that emotions and intelligence do not have to have a clear separation and can instead work in tandem. Learning isn’t just about curiosity or survival, it can have very emotional ties, as well.
For so long in the series, Logan has insisted he did not have emotions, even when this was clearly false. He believed that keeping himself removed from emotions would help him succeed in his job as Logic, that the others would be able to rely on him much more if they could trust his knowledge to be unbiased and unmotivated by unpredictable emotions. He assumed that divide between the two was necessary, and that if the two merged or collided, he would be unfit to do his job, that he would not be taken seriously.
However, doing this kept him from understanding and processing his own emotions as well as being unable to empathize with Thomas and the other sides. He only grew to misunderstand and mistrust emotions more and more as time went on, becoming startled and confused at his own outbursts, not aware of why he would feel a certain way or have a certain reaction to a situation, because he refused to let himself experience that emotion, to feel it. His lack of understanding directly resulted from his choice not to engage with emotions at all, despite their importance.
And finding that importance is where this song comes in, because the crucial point Logan had been missing all this time was that emotions can encourage one to learn, inspire one to research. Love can motivate someone to learn a new language, so they can communicate, as we hear in this song. But something like anger can motivate someone to research an important topic so they can fight for what they believe in with facts on their side. Sadness can inspire someone to look into advice and ways to help, not just for oneself but for others, too, employing empathy and logic side by side. Fear can motivate someone to find truth, to create familiarity with routines and schedules, to calm down cognitive distortions to maintain peace of mind.
Logic and emotions do not need to be separated; they can work together very well. In fact, most people use both in tandem every day.
For so long, Logan had set for himself a barrier he could not, would not cross. He knew there was nuance to the world but learned over time that he could not display his own. He resorted to that black-and-white thinking for the others' benefit and then to his own, finding that it was all-or-nothing when it came to Logic or Emotions. He believed one would merely taint the other, so they must be kept apart, even if that left only he alone on the other side, as the only logical side.
Despite the unfairness and discomfort, he didn’t want to challenge what he had come to think was right, what he’d been using as his basis for how he was supposed to act, which is why he refused to learn more about it, to never dare change the perception that he held.
He had given up, letting the world and its arbitrary rules dictate who he was and how he should be…but that was never meant to happen.
Once he realizes where his thoughts had steered him wrong, it will be like a whole new world of opportunities has suddenly opened up to him, giving him so much more to explore and learn. It will give him what he was missing this whole time. It will bridge the gaps he’d been unable to cross.
Logan does serve a purpose, and it's an incredibly important one, but it’s not something he was ever meant to do completely alone like he has been.
And that, of course, is where we get to the next song, One More Time with Feeling by Regina Spektor.
Firstly, this is a song about recovery, which is definitely where Logan would be by now in the story, processing what happened, and attempting to move forward and do better. As many know, recovery is not linear, and it’s certainly not perfect.
But given everything that has happened, it’s not all on Logan to improve himself on his own. Yes, he will need to allow himself to feel emotions so that he can understand them better, and he’ll need to learn ways to implement feelings alongside intelligence when working with the other sides to help Thomas, but the other sides need to do their part here, as well.
They have pushed him away, refused to listen to him for so long, often for petty reasons that blossomed into their eventual negligence. It won’t be easy to fix that level of miscommunication between Logan and the others. It’s not as simple as Logan finally speaking up, or the others promising to do better; it will require a lot of work from both ends before anyone can truly meet in the middle on this.
Logan had spent a lot of time before all this, trying to find ways to meet the others halfway, only to met with nothing in return. He gave up so much of himself, and now resents their choice to only take and never give anything back. Once the others finally reciprocate and show that they do genuinely care about him, only then will Logan have the chance to start this journey, to finally begin to get better.
The lyrics that we hear a few times in this song “this is why we fight” can have multiple connotations, such as an explanation of why the group miscommunicates and argues so much, why they don’t get along. But it can also mean that this is their motivation to keep trying, to fight for what they believe in.
I believe both of these meanings are present in Logan’s perspective of this song.
[lyrics:
Oh, everyone takes turns, now it’s yours to play the part
And they’re sitting all around you, holding copies of your chart
And the misery inside their eyes is synchronized and reflecting into yours]
Earlier on in the song, Logan believes that the others don’t understand his predicament, even if they want to help. They are still separate from him, even if they’ve all had their own issues to overcome, that doesn’t mean they actually comprehend what he’s going through, how it feels, what it means.
He experiences the world so differently from the rest of them. How could they ever possibly understand?
They are pushing him to do something he cannot do well – to open up, to reach out, to feel – and it’s only condescending and antagonistic how they keep insisting that he try again every time he fails.
“This is why we fight” during the chorus is his condemnation of their actions, that he doesn’t think the others can meet him at his level. He is not in a place yet where he can believe they’ll listen to what he’s actually saying, he can’t trust that they’ll bother to explain these unknown things to him in a way he can understand. And this is why they continue to fight, to argue, to not get along, because they aren’t properly communicating, they’re just making the same mistakes again and again.
[lyrics:
You thought by now you’d be so much better than you are
You thought by now they’d see that you had come so far
And the pride inside their eyes would synchronize into a love you’ve never known
So much more than you’ve been shown]
Logan thought he would be better, not just in regard to being the best he can be for Thomas, to succeed as his Logic, to know what to do, and to have the answers, but also in terms of his own recovery. It’s difficult, and some days are worse than others; he makes progress and then he doesn’t, and it’s shameful because he has such high expectations for himself.
He’s so used to aiming for perfection that when failure is consistent like this, it feels wrong to be told it’s actually okay, that it’s normal.
But he wants to prove that Thomas’ efforts and the efforts from the other sides have not gone to waste on him, that he is improving. And yet, he keeps failing anyway. He was supposed to be perfect; he was supposed to be reliable! But now look at him. Even with their help, he’s still messing things up.
He just wants to make them proud, he wants to earn that attention and respect that he couldn’t get before, even if he knows he still doesn’t deserve it. He wants to prove that maybe he can deserve it, though.
“This is why we fight” during the next chorus is his agreement with the others, that this is the motivation to keep trying, to keep going. Someday, he can be better. Someday, he will be respected and trusted and relied upon in the ways that he wants. Someday, they’ll be proud of him.
Until then, the fight is worth it.
This leads directly into In My Mind by Amanda Palmer as the next song, as we see Logan has held very high expectations for himself, which is why failure had hurt so much. But now that things have changed, he may be beginning to challenge these expectations, to expand upon them and understand that he has a chance for something different now.
[lyrics:
Because I will be the picture of discipline
Never minding what state I’m in
And I will be someone I admire]
Part of the issue really did come down to lyrics like “never minding what state I’m in” because Logan never put himself as a priority. This entire time, even at his lowest point, Logan was never the one who was important, not even to himself.
He was okay with this because this was never about him, it was about what Thomas needed or wanted. His willingness to bend and remake himself to benefit the others was surely a sentiment shared by all of them, that this was just what was needed to accomplish his job.
It’s not until Logan finally realizes that this is not the case, that he needs to put himself in some priority, too, that he’ll ever begin to improve and truly get better, able to be himself or enjoy anything he does again.
A big part of recovery is not setting your motivation on someone or something else – you need to get better because you want to be better. You need to believe you deserve to be happy, to get the things you want. Logan can say he’s doing this to benefit Thomas, to build back a relationship with the other sides, to earn back his position and demand respect as Logic, but that will only fail until his motivation is simply that it’s something he wants to do, for him. When attached to others and their expectations, those strings only come with guilt and can end up making his situation worse.
Logan has to do this for himself.
[lyrics:
And it’s funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I’ve just forgotten how to see
That I’m not exactly the person that I thought I’d be]
It starts with recognition, the realization that he hasn’t met those expectations he held for himself. There’s still judgement and he still feels guilty about it, wondering how he could have let it get to this point. Maybe he just wasn’t paying attention properly, maybe he should have remembered that he’d already decided long ago about perfection being unattainable and how that was supposed to apply to him, too.
[lyrics:
Not like me now
I’m so busy with everything
That I don’t look at anything
But I’m sure I’ll look when I am older]
He regrets having missed out on the present, not having the chance to experience the wonder of the world that he so admires due to all his efforts towards achieving perfection and doing his best to handle everything by himself. He was so busy trying to do everything so precisely and getting the result he wanted that he hadn’t given himself the opportunity to enjoy anything in all that time.
He could do activities if they were productive, if they served a purpose, but he was a hypocrite, always aware and sharing the wonder of the universe and all that exists within it, amazed by the here and now, yet spending all his time locked in, looking away from the present while trying so hard to maintain it.
How long did he spend, convincing himself that just as soon as he achieves what he set out to do, then he would have time to do that? How long would he have kept going if something hadn’t finally snapped and broken everything, forcing him to confront this?
Would he have missed out? Would he have been somehow worse?
[lyrics:
And it’s funny how I imagined that I could be that person now
But that’s not what I want, but that’s what I wanted
And I’d be giving up somehow, how strange to see
That I don’t wanna be the person that I want to be]
Finally, a breakthrough. While not quite acceptance, Logan is finally starting to see the difference, that he wants things in a different way now than he did before.
He kept trying to strive for perfection in his recovery, but didn’t he recall how badly that had gone last time? He knew perfection wasn’t attainable, but he believed that was the expectation Thomas and the others had for him. He kept trying to get to it, no matter what it cost him, and that’s how he wound up here in the first place.
And now, after everything, things have changed. Thomas is listening, at least more than before. The others do care, and try to make sure he knows it, too. Logan had wanted to get better, to make them proud, to prove that he deserved what they were offering to him, but… that wasn’t even the point of it all.
All this time, he’d thought he still needed to be perfect, that that was what he wanted, but now that he’s finally had a chance to look inside himself, to experience wonder and curiosity again, he has realized that what he really wanted was to be accepted.
He didn’t want to have to change himself so the others would listen, he just wished they would actually want to listen to him, to like him for who he is, to let him be himself without requiring him to change, to only be the best, only what was needed, only Logic.
He wanted to be more than Logic; he wanted to be Logan.
With that, he finally realizes that doesn’t have to focus on perfection for Thomas’ sake and survival. He can focus more on himself more instead, on what he actually wants from the world, what he wants to do, and what he wants to try. He can be what he wants to be – more than Thomas’ Logic.
Having finally realized what it’s all for and being given the time to explore that, we get to the next song, Not Perfect by Tim Minchin.
This is a song that attempts to use facts and knowledge to explain feelings and thoughts, bringing context to situations that Logan had struggled in doing before this point. Finally beginning to understand what it is that’s going on inside, what these feelings are and why they’re there, to have the words he needs to adequately describe it to someone else, it all must be so relieving.
There’s still uncertainty, sure, but it’s a lot less stressful now, knowing there’s a way to talk to the others, to actually communicate what he means. He may still be startled, caught unawares, but he doesn’t have to shove it down and away anymore. He knows how to pause and reflect, let himself experience it, and he knows how to control his own behavior in reaction to it.
It’s far from perfect, and there’s still a lot he’ll need to learn, but he does so enjoy learning, doesn’t he?
[lyrics:
This is my earth and it’s fine
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine
It’s not perfect…]
Another thing to note about this song is the ownership behind most of the lyrics. “This is my earth” and “it’s not perfect, but it’s mine.” That sense of belonging is something that Logan has always wanted, and to be able to not only express that, finally, but to feel that it is real, that he is no longer just an outside observer but a part of the world as a whole, must be incredible.
He’s finally found his place, and though it was here all along, he no longer feels trapped in a cage or left collecting dust on a shelf. He has his place, he knows he’s a part of something greater, and that he’ll be appreciated for who he is.
This song has a perfect matching bookend, by the way; it’s three songs from the end of the playlist whereas Algoryhthm was three from the start. Both of these songs involve one’s differing view of the world, recognizing not only how it works but their place within it. One deals with that negatively, the other more positively.
In Algorhythm, Logan still had wonder for the expanse of the world but found himself trapped by the parameters being set. It didn’t matter that he knew things didn’t have to run in this way, he had no power to change it. He was given no other choice but to give up and go with the flow. He could only change himself to match it, knowing he was an outsider who didn’t belong but had to make do with his circumstances.
In Not Perfect, however, he still has that differing view of the world, but instead of being the outlier, he’s now able to find comfort in knowing he has a place within this world. There are so many wonders everywhere, all around, in the biggest and smallest of things. Yes, he sees the world differently, but so do others, and that’s amazing! He may feel alone at times, he may feel infinitesimal among the great expanse of the universe, but he is never truly alone. He knows he belongs here. He has those who understand him, and he doesn’t have to change for anyone. The world can accept him for who he is, always.
It's as though whoever curated this playlist knew precisely what they were doing. They cared deeply enough to ensure this story, Logan’s story, was told exactly the way it was meant to be, to describe the highs and lows, to explain the truth behind every note, and to inspire with hope anyone else who may be struggling, as well. This story, this playlist, says to us calmly and clearly that everything is going to be okay. It’s not perfect, but it’ll be okay.
In Human by Tank and the Bangas, we get to hear that acceptance, that love on full display.
Things have finally slowed down now, a song for a moment that comes at a more comfortable and soothing pace. Logan finally has the time to look around and see what he’s been missing while he’s been so busy with everything else.
This is another song that uses facts not only to describe and evoke emotions, but to inspire awe and wonder. Emotion-driven curiosity, channeling all the wonders of the world, of you, as your inspiration and guide to learn more and appreciate the here and now.
[lyrics:
Don’t you ever become complicit
With living life on a shelf]
Logan had gone so long pushing away parts of himself simply because they were flawed, not partaking in his interests because they didn’t fit the mold he so desperately wanted to fill. But now that he’s found his place, he can appreciate his chance to finally be more, to explore and share what he’s learned, knowing he’ll be heard.
Something we’ve seen from Logan since the very beginning is just how deep and wide his wonder goes. He loves the world, the universe, and everything found within it. He holds such fascination for the innumerable amount of living species in the world, for all the technology that’s been created and built, for every concept born of a mind. Logan loves the world so much, and he wishes so much for others to cherish what can be learned from it, as every moment, something new emerges. So many possibilities, so many chances to do more, see more, be more.
Logan was never meant to be someone who was pushed away, kept from the world that he loves so dearly. And now that he finally has the chance to be himself, to be accepted for who he is, we see that he immediately turns to what he loves most: wonder, and the opportunity to share it with others.
Knowledge can do so much for so many, but it’s best purpose is to be shared openly and freely, given to all who will take it. It’s not meant to be inaccessible, locked away, kept elite behind paywalls and tuition fees. It’s a part of what makes the world as amazing as it is, and Logan knows this and wants it to be shared.
[lyrics:
You have to continue to live
There are too many more interesting lessons]
Logan had made it his upmost priority in life to ensure Thomas’ survival, but this was something that eventually led to him burned out, begging for his own life to end instead. This journey, this long arc full of ups and downs, gave Logan the chance to see that his priorities were misaligned. He needed to take care of himself, he needed to give himself significance, because otherwise, he’d be constantly pouring from an empty cup.
He had to choose not only to live but to give himself the chance to do what humans do, to experience life, to enjoy it. Whatever time they have, they will make the most of it, because it can’t just be about survival.
Back in the song Algorhythm, Logan learned that humans do things very differently, that they don’t always act in ways that make sense, that sometimes they don’t prioritize survival despite its importance. In Fitter Happier, his interpretation of what it meant to be human was so disconnected from reality, misunderstanding what it was truly all for. But now, he has been given the chance to experience that broader spectrum; he’s no longer cut off from emotions and the ties they make to every moment in life.
There is so much more you can do with emotions as your guide, as the heartbeat to fuel your curiosity, your will to keep learning.
[lyrics:
And if you never knew
That that was enough to just be
You obviously don’t know
A thing]
This song has marked this moment out clearly for Logan, that he is finally an important and valued part of Thomas, that he belongs here and has a place here with the other sides, within the world, within the show. And it wasn’t perfection and changing himself to suit their needs that got him there. He was able to accept himself and give himself the freedom to explore and discover more, to find his own way to benefit Thomas, to be Logic, without strings, without repression, without solitude.
Being unabashedly himself was enough. He was enough for Thomas.
And then we get to the last song on the playlist, Time Adventure from Adventure Time.
A charming song to complete the set, to bring us back to how happy and smiling Logan had started out at the beginning of it all, though this time there’s a lot more depth to that smile. He knows more now; he’s learned and changed and improved in ways he never knew possible at the start of all this.
[lyrics:
Time is an illusion that helps things make sense
So we’re always living in the present tense
It seems unforgiving when a good thing ends
But you and I will always be back then
You and I will always be back then]
Existentialism with a positive twist, Logan can recognize the world for what it is, for how it works. But there is always that encouragement to remember where we all are, in the here and now.
Logan values the present the most, even if he’s someone we know who relies on the past for experience and the future for motivation. In comparison, Roman values the future and what it can hold, Patton values the past and what it can mean, and Virgil mixes between the past and the future to keep Thomas on a steady path. Logan is one of the only sides, other than perhaps Janus, who values the present moment above all else.
He wants Thomas to see what’s right in front of him instead of ignoring it for what he remembers of the past or what he hopes for the future. It’s okay to want those things, to appreciate them, but disregarding the present only results in missing out on the world around him, on what’s already available to him right now.
Logan sees Thomas’ potential and aspires for him to achieve it, but he can’t keep his mind on faraway goals without doing what he can in the present. Make a plan today that you can enact tomorrow. Brainstorm that story right now so you can write it later. Hug that friend today so you can remember it later when you miss them. There’s always a reason to act in the present, to live your life right here and now.
This ending song shows us that Logan has grown so much, and came to be happy at the end of the story. He’s come to understand himself, the others, Thomas, and the whole world so much better than ever before and is better for it. From this point on, things will surely be different, but now he has everything he needs to face anything that may come his way. He can rely on his knowledge, but also trust that he has his friends at his side, that he has their support. He knows Thomas values him and what he has to say, and that he can tell him when things are tough, when he needs him to listen.
He is heard. He is loved. And he loves in turn, all without having to do anything but be himself.
Something I absolutely adore about these last few songs on the playlist is that even though Logan is doing better now, after everything he’s gone through, he’s not showing this newfound satisfaction and happiness in the ways that you’d expect of most people. He’s doing it his own way, the way he likes doing it, and he’s thriving for it!
He prefers to work alone, having the time to think and contemplate strategies and plans without interruption. He likes reading in a quiet room, exploring fascinating new worlds and concepts all on his own. He likes sharing what he’s learned, and being relied upon for his knowledge, given the opportunity to explain ideas to others in the hopes that it will fascinate them and encourage them to learn more themselves.
He's not changing himself to do what others want of him. He’s not trying to fit some mold, to be okay by anyone else’s standards. He’s just…being Logan. And that’s everything I could ever want for him.
This playlist has involved such an amazing journey for Logan; it’s a story told through something humans will always love to share – music!
It showed us every crucial moment of Logan's arc, from what we've already seen in the show to what we know is bound to come next. It's clear that Logan has so much more to learn, especially from the other sides, who will be able to understand him once they finally try to communicate effectively and work together for Thomas and for themselves. The situation will improve, they will be happy, someday.
Someday, we’ll get to see the real conclusion to this character’s story, and until then, we can hold out hope for a good ending.
#logan sanders#sanders sides analysis#sanders sides#ts logan#logan angst#long post#like extremely long post#this is basically a very long winded way of saying that i hc logan as the biggest brooder to ever brood#so very broody and angsty#also yes i genuinely just write like this naturally and used to always be called a walking thesaurus#if you need clarification on anything i am always glad to extrapolate on my thoughts#especially because there was so much more i wanted to say here but i needed to reel it in haha#orbs thought bubbles#oh one last thing - i transcribed these lyrics myself in this post bc most websites were so incredibly wrong with these
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Always, Us (Suchwita)
Min Yoongi/FemIdol!Reader Requests open!
Warnings: Established relationship, discussion of pregnancy and marriage, idol!au
Word Count: 1506 M.list
‘Today on suchwita, we have someone people have wanted for a long while.’ Yoongi addressed the cameras as you stood at the side, excitedly waiting for your cue. Since Yoongi started his show, fans had wanted you to make an appearance, but there was never a good enough reason for you to appear until now. You don’t know if the reason fans wanted you here because they genuinely liked you, or if they just wanted to be nosey about your relationship now that it was public. Either way, you were happy to do this for Yoongi.
‘It’s Y/N of the group Prima.’ He stood from his seat and welcomed you with a bow, before pulling your chair out for you. You feigned shock as you sat down.
‘This is how you know cameras are around. He’s acting like a gentleman.’
‘YAH! Don’t say that!’ He snorted with a laugh as he sat down opposite you. ‘I’m always kind.’
‘Sure if you say so.’
‘I’m sure you noticed I got your favourite alcohol here. I’ll keep it for myself if you carry on.’ He smirked, gesturing to the various colourful bottles on the table.
‘You wanna play that game?’ You challenged, leaning forwards with a smirk to match his own. Yoongi relented, leaning back and waving his hands with a smile.
‘Ok, we’re getting off topic and we haven’t even started yet.’ You also relaxed, but you knew you had won that round.
‘As I was aying, this is your favourite. Let me pour you a glass.’ You held out your glass and thanked him as he poured.
‘People have been curious about us since we went public right?’ You asked, getting right into why you were there.
‘Yes.’ He agreed, drinking from his own glass. ‘How did it feel for you to finally be open after having to hide it for so long?’ Yoongi had given you a brief run down of the kind of questions that would be asked the night before, so that you could prepare, though you didn’t want to just write and memorise a script, especially when it came to your love life. You wanted your words to be as natural as possible.
‘It felt good to not have to sneak around. I know you were relieved too.’ Yoongi nodded in agreement.
‘It made me feel like we were a couple of horny teenagers sneaking out at night.’ He laughed.
‘Oh yeah you’re right! But looking back I don’t know why we hid it so long. People have been shipping us since we first met pretty much.’ You smiled warmly, thinking back to when you posted a picture of yourself and a young trainee Yoongi onto your groups twitter account. Yoongi wasn’t well know back then, but your fans were curious about your connection to the young trainee.
‘Do you remember how we met?’ Yoongi asked, smoothly moving the conversation along. You didn’t answer right away. You looked down as a subtle blush spread across your cheeks as you thought of the memory.
‘Why are you blushing? Don’t get shy now!’ Yoongi laughed as he called you out.
‘Shut up.’ You mumbled, all in good fun.
‘Ok. I was late for rehearsal and I ended up barging into your guys room by accident.’ You cringe at that part. ‘ You all stared at me and I was so embarrassed, but you also offended me that day!!’ Yoongi raised his eyebrows questioningly. Had he really?
‘Yes!’ You exclaimed, making him a little nervous. ‘You didn’t know who I was! Even though I debuted like 2 years before that!’ Yoongi sighed in relief and rolled his eyes.
‘I told you before! I didn’t know many current groups back then! I was too busy trying to debut myself.’
‘Yeah, sure.’ You crossed your arms with a pout.
‘Why are you pressed about that still? It was over a decade ago!’
‘That’s not the point! I’m your senior so you should respect me!’ Yoongi choked out and exasperated laugh, before he addressed the crew.
‘do you see what I deal with on a daily basis?’
‘You see! This is what I mean.’ You laughed whilst gesturing towards him. ‘No respect...’ Yoongi shook his head, laughing at the interaction.
‘You know, my mom keeps asking me when we’re going to give her grand kids.’ You froze and internally cursed him for bringing up this topic. It’s not like you don’t want babies with him, it just never felt like the right time to try. Especially now with his military service coming up...
‘I always thought we’d try after your enlistment, but we never really discussed it....’ You confessed, feeling the energy of the room die slightly. You saw Yoongi’s eyes widen ever so slightly at your answer, but he covered it up by rubbing his face.
You weren’t lying when you said it hadn’t been talked about, so your answer definitely caught him off guard.
‘We also need to find time for a wedding.’ He played it off cooly, trying to move on with a joke. You frowned to yourself. His reaction was strange. This definitely needed more investigating.
The remainder of filming flew by. You’d managed to avoid any more awkwardness after that and put on a good show. You were fairly certain that part would be cut anyway. It may have been a little too personal to bring it up in that way in hindsight....
‘So, do you want to talk about what you said?’ Both you and Yoongi were sat in his car in the parking lot. You could get a lift from the company driver, but Yoongi proffered the freedom of being able to drive himself. ‘About having kids?’ He looked over to you with an expression you couldn’t quite read. Looking down at your hands in your lap, you began to speak.
‘I meant what I said. I want kids with you, but I ... also don’t want to give up my career...’ You trailed off. He sucked in a breath at your words, but stayed silent. ‘I just said that about your enlistment because I didn’t know what else to say.’ You sniffled slightly, but you were determined to not get upset. Yoongi placed a comforting hand on your thigh and leaned across the console.
‘Hey. You won’t loose your career. You really think Bang PD would let you go after all these years?’ He spoke soothingly. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop a few tears escaping your eyes.
‘I know it’s stupid to think this way but-‘ Yoongi quickly shook his head.
‘Don’t talk like that. If you’re upset it’s not stupid, ok?’ He had now moved his hand to the back of your neck, rubbing calming circles into your skin. You slowly looked up at him to see him giving you a reassuring smile. You were unable to stop yourself from reaching up and pulling him into a hug, or as much as you could manage with the gear box between you.
‘I’m sorry I got upset.’ You mumbled into his neck. He craned his neck to place a kiss on the side of your head.
‘Nothing to be sorry for.’ You both stayed like that for a few relaxing moment as you calmed down. Pulling back, you wiped at your eyes before quickly pecking his lips.
‘We need to talk properly at some point, but right now I need you to take me home so I can stuff my face with ice cream.’ Yoongi broke out into his iconic gummy smile as he stared at you.
‘You must be feeling better if you can crack jokes. Now put your seatbelt on woman.’ Yoongi pulled out of the parking lot and started the journey home. You both sat in comfortable silence, only the sounds of the quiet radio played in the car. You thought back to the filming, when you suddenly remembered something he so casually said during the interview.
‘So...’ He glanced at you briefly, before looking back to the road. ‘What was that about a wedding?’ You smirked when he choked on his own spit and clearing his throat.
‘Ah yeah. That...’
‘You haven’t even proposed to me.’ You teased, hoping he might get a hint. Yoongi fully looked at you when he pulled up to a traffic light, smile tugging at his lips.
‘Do you want me to?’
‘I certainly wouldn’t be oppose to the idea!’ You both sent coy smiles to each other and that was that. Conversation over.’ The two of you didn’t need to get married to know you loved each other, but having said that...
And thus, a few weeks later, Korea woke to the news that you and Yoongi had secretly eloped and made your marriage official.
You had a lot of explaining to do to your parents, but you got out of it by promising that you would have a ‘proper’ ceremony at a later date. For now though, you were both content with how things were.
#bts#bts x reader#imagine#one shot#scenario#drabble#reaction#smut#angst#fluff#kim seokjin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#idol!au#Request
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Can you please write dumb/cute/random things BTS members will do while they are crushing on reader?
This was cute to write! This is what I think they'd each be like with crushes. Just so you know, all of them are dorks.
Please send me asks to keep me motivated while I’m off work!
Thirsty thoughts, Most likely to, reactions, life updates, and general gibberish welcomed!!
Namjoon:
If Namjoon has a crush on you he gets extra clumsy. In his head, he is trying to be the most sophisticated person on earth, think W sexy numkim Namjoon. however in reality he is actually fumbling at every step, stuttering and tripping his way through conversations, beating himself up a little inside every time he rambles on a bit too long about something. Eventually, he just gives up on trying to impress you because he is too in his head and thinks he doesn't have a chance. Ironically that is when he manages to be more comfortable around you and stops breaking things. He still info dumps, but because he is a little less self-conscious about it, he allows it to flow more naturally and you can have a proper conversation without him disappearing to berate himself for talking too much. If the crush progresses to you hanging out he will always bring a little gift, sometimes snacks, sometimes a trinket that makes him think of you. He will send you pictures of things in nature that remind him of you, and take you to museums where certain sculptures or paintings reflect his feelings or your likeness.
Seokjin:
None stop trying to make you laugh. Probably refers to himself as worldwide handsome a lot to garner your attention like: "Hey Y/N, did you know they call me WWH?", or "Did you miss my WWH face?". It's a good job that he is in fact very pretty or it would get annoying. Although you tell him every time that it annoys you while using the opportunity to slap/feel up his bicep. He stops by your workplace every day to try and see you, but he is trying to be subtle as he does it, making up genuine excuses as to why he is there. Gets exceedingly disappointed when your coworkers tell him you are on a break because it would be too suspicious if he came back later on.
Yoongi:
He starts by offering you some of his food, claiming he has too much and he thought you might not have eaten yet (It's 10:30 am, of course, you haven't eaten yet). Then he is bringing in bigger meals claiming to be trying new recipes and then always making too much (He is trying new recipes, they happen to be some of your favourites. He is also sizing up the recipe to have enough for you both and more). He will invite you to listen in on some tracks he is working on, saying they are nowhere near finished but he wants an outside opinion (They are mostly finished, and mostly about you).
Hoseok:
Strikes me as a straight forward man. You are absolutely going to know if he has a crush on you. There is no messing about he just asks you out... and then hyperventilates about it as soon as he is behind a closed door. It doesn't matter if you answered yes or no that was the most fear-inducing thing he has ever done, debut stage included. He keeps the brave front when around you at all times though. He is very good at pretending to be confident and charming even when his heart is trying to beat out of his ribcage. He makes a point of kissing your hand when he sees you, like the way you giggle and blush.
Jimin:
Similar to Namjoon, goes from being the most coordinated guy in the world to tripping over his own shoes. He blushes furiously every time you walk in the room and struggles to form full sentences. The others rip the shit out of him for being so nervous when you leave. He spends most of his time with his head in his hands hiding the red in his cheeks rather than making eye contact. Eventually, the butterflies die down and he decides he needs to man up and make a move. He refuses to let Jeon - couldn't make eye contact with a woman until he turned twenty-two - Jungkook make fun of him for being anxious, so he swallows the fear and makes a move. Then his flirting becomes relentless: He leans against walls and cages you in a little, he uses pickup lines and keeps calling you beautiful, and he refers to you with pet names. He tries everything he can to make you as flustered as you made him before he asks you out, god-forbid you fight flirty fire with fire.
Taehyung:
He follows you around like a lost puppy when he can. If he is around you will never have to carry anything or open a door. He gives you expensive gifts that you aren't allowed to refuse, if you do they just end up at your house later on in the day. He claims most of them are leftovers from brand deals, but some of them are coming from brands you swear they've never worked with. He frequently brings you smoothies and snacks too. Even if he isn't around he will have them delivered to your work, sometimes for your whole office, not just you. If you try to tell him to stop he just makes the tata mic face until you come to a compromise that he will stop sending you drinks if you let him take you out for one.
Jungkook:
If he figures out he has a crush on you, you will not see him for 8-16 days. The first day he realises he will look at you with the widest eyes and blinks a little too slowly, he then excuses himself as soon as possible. He then spends days in his house typing and erasing a text to send to you. It gives him a heart attack when typing bubbles appear because that means you've seen him lurking. He eventually figures out what he wants to do with his crush and then you struggle to get rid of him, not that you necessarily want to, although he did almost follow you into a bathroom once because he was too busy talking and not paying attention to where you were going. When he gets drunk on his own at home he always texts you, nothing serious or even damning, he just is genuinely missing you. It probably comes across wrong because its always 2am, but he is innocently just wondering how you are. Once you fall in to a conversation it is obvious that it wasn't meant as a booty call, as much as you sometimes might wish it was.
#bts fic#kpop fic#namjoon fic#seokjin fic#yoongi fic#hoseok fic#jimin fic#taehyung fic#jungkook fic#bts reactions#bts imagine#bts scenario#bts x reader#bts x you
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so im not sure if this is how to request but like. im in immense, and i mean imMENSE need of sub! ranpo.....pls be kind to me and give him an obvious mommy kink?
𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝 𝕊𝕦𝕓 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤
Yes yes yes I can do that!! I’ve honestly been waiting for someone to request a BSD character
I’m sorry i haven’t been active for a bit, I’m trying to finish a Bakugo piece and it’s taking a while, so i’ll probably only be posting headcanons until it’s done
Also normally when I write headcanons for characters I know less about I try to read stuff written by other writers to get a feel for the character but there’s literally almost NOTHNG for Ranpo, so I’m happy to be filling that hole ;)
Character: Edogawa Ranpo
This work is NSFW
again, starting with general kinks
mommy kink - not just because it was part of the request, i truly believe this man has a raging mommy kink. like, he starts out using it in a bratty way, using that name just to rile you up but over time he actually loves it and means it genuinely. he’s still a brat, but it becomes easier to tell that he’s more obedient, all because of the name. so whiny as well. the way he cries out for you once he’s stopped bratting *immaculate*. really falls into the role of being your baby, becomes so clingy and needy in the bedroom and tbh just generally when the two of you are alone together
food play - i mean, it’s Ranpo we’re talking about here. let him lick whipped cream off your chest, he’ll produce the cutest moans at the combination of cream and you boobs in his mouth, he could honestly do it for hours. reward him with his favourite snacks when he behaves, let him eat them off your body. he gets all his favourite things in one go
praise - he thrives off it, he needs you to tell him how good he’s being, how perfect he is, how pretty he is. the way his eyes shine when you praise him makes you want to praise him even more. he just melts in your arms into a little sticky puddle ;)
anal :) - he loves it all. peg him, eat him out, finger him, let him ride your strap, let him ride your face. he’ll cry, mouth open, drool running down his chin, the prettiest picture. peg him soft and slow, grinding your strap as deep as it goes, kissing his pretty face gently before flipping him over and pounding him into the mattress
oral fixation - kinda goes hand in hand with the food play, he just needs his mouth filled. he’ll suck on his fingers while riding you, drool dripping down his wrists, such a messy boy. sucks your strap every time you peg him, he needs it to help him set the mood. could definitely cum from the feeling of your cock in his throat
dacryphilia - it started as a joke, a snide comment about how messy he gets and how he always ends up in tears, but overtime he finds he can’t get off without crying. he just cries so easily, it’s not hard to reduce him to a whimpering crying mess
that’s pretty much it for the paragraph kinks
i do think this man is a brat
like, he’s just naturally bratty
so obviously that would translate into the bedroom
or so he thinks
but you can see right through it
he throws a fit when he doesn’t get his way, but you can see through his bratty tears
he just needs your attention on him at all times
as soon as he has your attention and he’s getting what he wants he’s your good boy
doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve to be punished sometimes
tie him up
its the worst punishment for him
he can’t touch you, can’t hold you
spank him
bend him over your lap and spank him
the marks you leave are his reminder to behave
and he def gets off when he sees them on his body
same with hickies/bites
he wouldn’t even be ashamed of the marks, even if they were visible over the collar of his shirt
he sees them as a physical reminder that he belongs to you
can’t handle degredation on its own
it’s too much for him
but mix it in with your praise
and he’s GONE
whimpering, whining, moaning, hiccuping, crying
anything you can imagine, times it by three
call him your pretty slut, tell him how good he is for such and impatient brat
his eyes roll back in his head at the confusing mix
prettiest cum face award goes to him
he’s naturally so pretty
but combine that with his hazy, fucked-out expression and his pretty, swollen lips and BAM
actual angel
in love with your tits
he needs them in his mouth 24/7
looks up at your with the most adorable, needy eyes
he can never get enough of you
thanks for reading :)
likes and reblogs are really appreciated
and if youd like to request a character you can do so here (i think)
heres my masterlist
#fanfic#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd ranpo#sub bsd#sub bungo stray dogs#sub ranpo#dom reader#bsd dom reader#ranpo x reader#edogawa ranpo x reader#bsd edogawa ranpo
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I once heard the term “straightbaiting” in regards to ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’. As in, what we queer people get in another show where there’s queerbaiting. But with Xena it’s just with the opposite sex instead. And that’s accurate because the central relationship in ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ is Xena and Gabrielle. The show revolves around both of them as main characters and their love relationship - be it platonic or romantic.
Every other episode in the earlier seasons they would bring in a male love interest for either one of them (later in the show they would also get female love interests as well as male love interests; Gabrielle - Najara, Thalassa, Brunhilda. Xena - M’Lila, Lao Ma and, ugh, Akemi) but none of these love interests lasted. They would either die, leave or otherwise just never show up in the show again. They were either always temporary fill ins/stand bys until the other main character returned or used as a relationship conflict between Xena and Gabrielle, basically stating and showing how unnatural it was for either of them to have any sort of love relationship going on when it’s not with each other. And whenever this happens, the show itself feels shaky and off-kilter: unbalanced.
In a sense,… not straight. It feels not straight for it to be straight. It feels fake. It feels abnormal. Wrong. Exactly the way a queer person is supposed to feel when it’s queerbaiting in a primarily straight show. Straightbaiting in Xena feels like that to a straight person because Xena is genuinely a queer show and, therefore, in that show,… Queer is right. Queer is normal. Queer is real. And even with the female love interests - it still feels that way because, again, the central and most important relationship is X and G!
So ‘straightbaiting’ is absolutely the most accurate term to describe what the experience of ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ is rather than queerbaiting because it’s not Xena and Gabrielle that is the bait. It’s everyone else. And this is especially true with the male love interests. Except maybe Ares. But that’s a whole other topic altogether that takes understanding Rob Tapert’s mind, who is genuinely team X and G all the way but just has hang ups with X and A. I won’t go into it here.
But yes, it also boggles my mind something awful when anyone watching Xena today could call it queerbaiting. It’s honestly the entire opposite. You can’t watch episodes like ‘When Fates Collide’ and ‘Who’s Gurkhan’ and hell, even Season 2’s ‘The Quest’, without realizing that the creators are genuine with how they write Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship. It’s not a joke. It might have started out as one but pretty damn quickly they changed course and it became serious. So serious that almost every other relationship for Xena or Gabrielle feels like a joke. Feels like it is the bait that keeps straight people tuned into watching a queer show about queer characters the way straight characters acting queer are the bait for queer people to watch a straight show.
And I cannot put it anymore concisely than that. That IS ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’. It is a straightbaiting show. So much so that Lucy and Renee have laughs about it. These are two straight women taking the piss out of the show’s attempts to keep its straight audience. Laughing about how unnatural it all feels for Xena and Gabrielle to have “straight” love relationships, proving my point completely true without knowing it. And I’m emphatically saying this as a queer woman myself that headcanons Xena as bisexual. Still queer but not gay. It feels extremely wrong for Gabrielle to be doing this. But it doesn’t ever matter because it doesn’t ever last. What lasts is the central relationship. That of X & G.
So regardless whether the nature of Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship is platonic or romantic, the creators are purposefully telling and showing you all love interests or love relationships besides theirs fail in comparison. And that’s not a very “queerbait-y” thing to do, is it? That’s actually the opposite of queerbait.
#xena warrior princess#xena and gabrielle#xena#lucy lawless#gabrielle#renee o'connor#queer#straight#queerbaiting#straightbaiting#love
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Gunna complain about a really stupid ABO fanfic thing under the cut
Gunna start with saying I have nothing against ABO / omegaverse fics, I really don't. I'm kind of new to it because I don't seek it out actively. It's not exactly something I'm into but it's not *not* something I'm into - I love the dynamic of A character is SO HORNY IT HURTS and B character is SO attracted to A that it's animalistic/feral and there's this insatiable, primal need between them, i get a little iffy with the "made for each other" trope bit thats totally just a me thing. I think it's fun and neat and if I get uncomfortable with a fic I know how to leave without being mean ((because I'm not a monster and I'm not here to yuck someone's yum))
I ALSO understand that Halsin being a druid who can wildshape easily lends itself to ABO dynamics
WHAT I DONT GET
IS ASSIGNING HIM WOLFISH TRAITS
He is a BEAR not a WOLF. he EXPLICITLY says that wolves mate for life and that's not his style, he's much more like a bear ((bears are very promiscuous, during mating season they can and will court more than one mate - and they are known for biding their time waiting for a female to be receptive and then when they fuck they fuck VIGOUROUSLY and that's why they LITERALLY LOSE WEIGHT DURING MATING SEASON. They usually leave after mating season is done but some bear species do have favorites that they spend time with after mating season is over and favored mates they return to every season. Yes i did research, leave me alone.))
So I don't get why we're out here writing knotting fics and giving him wolf traits when he literally does not adhere to any kind of wolfy way of life.
I keep trying to read abo fics with halsin knotting but I always end up backing out bc it just doesn't feel right.
Maybe I'll write my OWN omegaverse with bear dynamics.
Try and stop me.
Basically this is my call-to-action for ABO writers to be a little more creative. Give me a tav going into heat and halsin carefully approaching and waiting for the right moment. Give me some fun bear/wolf dynamics. Give me a tav that craves to be knotted but halsin simply *cant* because it's just not in his nature but he fucks them so vigourously and so frequently and protects them from other mates so agressively that it satisfies them. Give me halsin courting a tav in heat and literally fighting and chasing off other characters because he's laying claim to his mate. Halsin who literally can't keep his hands off his mate and its almost distracting how often he needs to fuck because she just smells so GOOD to him while she's fertile. Let me see an omega getting absolutely POUNDED by this giant bear of a man trying to knock her up all while fighting off all the alphas that come at her.
"I'm an alpha I have a right to her" "the fuck you do, she likes me more" and he's just so fucking large and intimidating and protective.
O R get really fun with it - Astarion or another character is an Alpha and Halsin is just Bear and there's a threesome dynamic
THERES SO MUCH ROOM FOR POTENTIAL HERE GUYS I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE
Are the rules for omegaverse that restrictive that we HAVE to use these dynamics based off of wolves??? ((Genuinely wondering since I've barely dipped my toes into omegaverse stories))
#shut up carm#this is just me complaining about how Halsin shouldnt be knotting#your opinion may differ and thats okay
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Hello there hope your doing well! I aint sure weather you write for this or not! But I was wondering if I could request some friendship headcanons with Lancelot and Percival?
Thank you!
(Feel free to delete my ask:)
Hello! I'm doing very well, I hope you are as well!
I definitely am okay with an ask like this, I love sharing my headcanons!! Also Lance and Percy's friendship def is very special to me, so thank you so much for asking about them!!
Tagging @alwaysamor in case you wanted to read thesseeee (since I know how you are about my nnt/4kota content 😌)
~*~
-Honestly, first of all, Percy is always asking Lance questions. Like, yes, Percy is very curious and inquisitive by nature and he questions lots of people, but whenever he has some random question that doesn't need to be answered by any specific person, he always asks Lance (as long as he can find him)
-Relating to that, Percy is the kind of person who will ask the most out of pocket questions and Lance will think he's crazy at first before genuinely starting to consider it, despite not actually wanting to. Like, they'd be walking through a field and Percy'd just be like, "How many blades of grass do you think we'd need to recreate my entire body weight?" And Lance would just give him a look and ignore the question, but then five minutes later, outta nowhere he's just like, "It has to be at least a thousand, right?" And Percy is very confused until he suddenly remembers his previous question
-ALSO relating to that, Percy is entirely convinced that Lance knows everything. As far as Percy is concerned, Lance quite literally knows all. He has all the answers to every single possible factual question that anyone could ask him. No matter how many times anyone tries to tell him differently, he insists that they're wrong
-These two are unintentionally chaotic together. Like, okay, both are pretty chaotic just in general, and most often Lance is on purpose, but when the two of them are together, they don't even really realize how absolutely unhinged they're being until someone points it out to them (i.e. when they tried to find the answer to the grass question)
-Percy is one of the very few people who knows how much Lance enjoys flora and general plant life (based on my own Lance hcs) and Lance never tells him to keep it a secret necessarily, but some intuitive part of him makes him do so and Lance was surprised but grateful when Percy explained such a thing one day
-Percy isn't exactly the best at reading the room or other people, but Lance's moods are a bit easier for him. Mostly because whenever he's pestering the poor guy for one reason or another, Lance always has some kind of sarcastic comment or a "jus' shut up already, would ya?" Or a sigh or huff or snort. There's always some kind of noise or reaction, and Percy's gotten used to that. So if Lance ever just stays quiet with zero reaction to Percy's antics, he immediately knows that something's off
-Whenever Lance is restless and under-stimulated (more Lance hcs), he specifically seeks Percy out because Percy's rambles and hyperactivity help him balance put
-On the other side of that, whenever Percy notices that Lance is overstimulated, he does his best to make sure everyone else leaves him alone (except for Tristan)
-Both are always very quick to defend each other. Percy thinks Lance is one of the most awesome people ever and doesn't ever hesitate to say so. Lance may call Percy an idiot and all kinds of other names but the moment anyone tries to genuinely underestimate Percy, he'll make sure they know how wrong they are one way or another
-Major younger sibling/older sibling energy between them
-No matter how cheery and full of energy Percy is, he's, ofc, not completely immune to upset. No matter what the reason, if he ever notices Percy's mood is down for any reason, he'll take him somewhere quiet and they'll just sit for awhile. Lance typically isn't very good at comforting most people, so this is usually the best he can do - sit calmly with someone and make sure they know he's there. For Percy, those times are always helpful, Lance being a peaceful presence beside him and making him feel safe (due to that older/younger dynamic between them)
-(if you don't ship Trislance, just ignore this one) Percy doesn't pay much attention to people's romantic interests or who likes who in that way, it's not something he typically thinks about, but one day Donny makes some kind of joke or comment about how Lance and the prince are totally crushing on each other and, after it was explained to him what that means, he suddenly made it his mission to be Lance's wingman and try and help him in his romantic advances towards Tristan, which Lance both loves and hates
-(if you don't ship Persians, just ignore this one) Lance, of course, being the extremely observant person he is, notices almost right away what's going on between Percy and Nasiens, and totally starts nudging them closer together. Percy doesn't understand much about love and romance and all that, but if Lance tells him, "Hey, Nasiens would love if someone gave him this flower and it would make him super happy" then Percy is immediately on it (he volunteers as tribute) or sometimes Lance will just offhandedly mention something or make some comment about something Nasiens does or likes or wishes or wants or he'll very purposely ask Nasiens a specific question while making sure Percy can hear and then he'll just sit back and watch as Percy uses the information to do things that'll make Nasiens happy without even really realizing why he's doing it
-Food. These two 100% bond over food
-They're both always trying to compete against each other but they will team up together without hesitation in order to beat anyone else at whatever it is they're competing about
~*~
I hope you enjoyed at least some of these!! A lot of them are also based on a lot of my headcanons for Percy and Lance just by themselves, tbh
Thank you again for the ask!! You're super awesome!! 💜💜💜
#purple_strxnger#purplestrxngerasks#4kota#4koa#4kota lancelot#4kota percival#percival#lancelot#trislance#trilance#persians#nnt#sds
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No better way to end a Friday than with a review. We are in the home stretch of s1 still crazy to me. Excited each time get to write up my reviews. So thank you all for your interest and support as always. Lets dive in to the third to last ep shall we?
1x18
Homefront.
After having a non Chenford ep always happy to have them back together. Loved dissecting Lucy and having insight into her family life but I missed them. They don't have a ton of content in this one. Pretty Talia driven one but what they do have is really good. Underrated moments in this ep for them IMO.
Our first shot of our fav duo is at the hospital. They’re visiting a released convict they were assigned to check up on. Tim makes a comment about filling his hours when not studying. To him it makes the most sense to fill his dead time with work. Lucy is immediately all over that comment. Because Lucy don't play around at all when it comes to Tim. She knows that isn't healthy for him. She starts probing as to why he doesn't have a hobby. She's genuinely surprised he doesn't have a way to decompress/recharge.
His first answer cracks me up it’s so Tim. Also how he adds in for her not to give him shit cause it has 'work' in the title LOL He knows her so well. He tries to combat her answer before she even says it. Lucy doesn’t deny she thinks that anyway. Goes on to say he needs something for himself. A way to decompress. Maybe even have a little fun. Gotta love her for trying to get him out of his comfort zone. He’s a creature of habit and doesn’t like that to be upended. Lucy is very aware of this and can't help herself but to challenge him on it.
The eye roll she gives him is primo. She knows this is going to be an uphill battle per usual. Tim fights her on it because its his natural first instinct. He always fights her on it and she always ends up seeping in. Jolting his system and POV on things. I do love him opening and holding the door for her. Ever the gentleman even when they’re arguing hehe
This shot is just because they're so pretty just standing together haha. That's it really. I mean look at them. Their Tall/Small thing never ceases to make me happy. Also Tim's stance pretty damn appealing tbh. I mean look at dem biceps. It's a wonder Lucy gets any work done haha
They respond to a call at a paintball place. A guy named Jimmy has lost it and impaled another player with a piece of wood over the game. Go on to tell them he plays there every day. He'll be hard to find. They head off to find Jimmy. Lucy does not waste a second before she is giving him more crap. So damn sassy with him. Using this guy's obsession to prove her point about why its bad to be focusing on one thing too much. They were married long before they ever dated people haha Lucy is so smug in this moment. Makes me happy haha
Tim defaults to what he usually does when’s she got him dead to rights. Clams up. Tells her to shut it cause that’s the best come back he has at the moment. LOL The smile on her face when she says ‘Yes sir’ Lucy knows that ‘shut it’ is just him annoyed he has no witty comeback. Lucy is reveling in the fact he can’t fight her on this one. No leg to stand on and he knows it.
They start searching the paintball area for their suspect. Lucy makes a comment about it would be easier if everyone wasn’t wearing camo. Tim gives her his company line about this job isn’t meant to be easy. She instantly disregards it and asks him if he’s ever played paintball? Trying to peak his interest. His reply cracks me up. Not a doubt in his mind he would crush these people at this. Her face is what kills me the most. That’s the wifey face. Placating him like ok babe....
I also love her blowing past his TO line earlier haha Very early on Lucy would’ve said yes sir or nodded. We’re long past those days even in s1. Especially at this point in time. That rapport and comfortability has come to stay. She’s on a mission to find him a hobby to help him relax. Bypasses Teacher Tim without blinking.
Tim starts to explain why he would straight destroy these people at paintball. Using one of the players as an example. Also Timothy there is no need to lean so close when explaining strategy to her sir heh But he does it anyway and she’s grinning like a fool. I’ve always loved the magnetic pull these two have between them. Whether they’re aware of it or not. Personal space is word not found in their vocabulary. Clearly passionate about what he's telling her so he gets closer. I love it.
Look at the way she is looking at him. Goodness girl you are working. That look on her face. You know she’s indulging him right now. Letting him ramble about how everyone is amateurs. How he would go about it. Tim has no idea he’s giving her fuel to get him to play. Always looking out for him even when he doesn’t have a damn clue she is. Taking care of him and putting his needs first. I can not with them. I love it so much.
They end up going to higher ground where Jimmy would be. They find him and Tim is sexy af stopping his escape. Grabs a players gun and easily decimates him with paint. Don’t tell me she wasn’t the slightest bit impressed with him nailing that guy with the paint gun. But it’s also reinforcing her idea about paintball for him.
That little smirk of hers before she hooks Jimmy up. Just like in 1x15 Lucy is all smiles and heart eyes for him in this ep. She is also a little bit wifey like in her reactions. Like yeah he’s an idiot but he’s my idiot. That second gif above says it all for that for that.
Ahhh the hanging out, outside work begins ❤️ Look at her dragging him outside his comfort zone like only she can. I bet you she pitched it one last time to Tim as a hobby. Something he could do to destress/relax. That it would be fun. He probably didn’t have to twist her arm too much to join him. That he would only do it if she came with. I could see Tim doing this so he could show and or prove to Lucy he could smoke everyone at this like he said. A little flex on his part. Coming in armed with a plan ready to execute it with her.
He looks so happy. She did that. It's written all over Lucy's face how happy she is that he's enjoying himself. That little smile on his face as they’re gearing up to go in. My heart. He’s so excited to do this. It’s why Lucy is beaming. She got Tim outside his routine and into something she knew he would love. He’s smiling and ready to have some fun. Not that he will say as such but everything in his body language does. Once again that beautiful silent communication of theirs is a sight to see.
His half hearted 'No' has Lucy smiling and laughing. She is beyond pleased with herself for this. Anyone looking at them without context would be able to see how she feels about him. I saw this great post by relentlessescapsim had a collection of Lucy unabashedly looking at Tim. Being as transparent as she could be. It said ‘She’s a ten but she’s terrible at hiding her feelings. ‘ I died laughing cause it so friggin true. You just watch her entire body language around Tim and you know. You just know he’s far more than her T.O. to her. I mean its clearly her day day off and Lucy is spending it with him. She's doing his new 'hobby' with him. I love it sfm.
Lucy challenges and pushes Tim same way he does for her. Been saying this all season his growth is incredible. Look at this puppy of a man playing paintball with her. Once again doing something he wouldn’t have for any other rookie. Incredible. He's continually allowing her to influence him which is huge in itself. Its constantly seen through out the entire season. This was her challenging that bubble of his that rigid routine. Lucy pushed because in the end she knew he would benefit from it. What good it would do him. She was right.
Tim says 'No' when really he's so glad she got him to do this. He can't say it just yet but his actions scream it. They balance one another out so well I could not adore their dynamic more. Damn I just love them so much haha. How good they are for each other. The fact that it dates back to s1 for multiple reasons is amazing.
It's why they’re so good in s5 once they get together. That beautiful base is already there and solid as hell. I love the idea of them playing paintball and having fun. Its lovely to see such beautiful depth and development for them. Such a good episode for them top to bottom. *chef kiss*
~~~~
Side Notes Non Chenford
Cute Wes/Angela stuff I always enjoy them so much.
Stuff with Jackson's dad was also very good. Watching him stand up to his dad was awesome.
Percy asking why Grey didn't stick Jackson with Tim. My god that boy wouldn't have made it without Angela. He has no idea. Tim would've washed his ass out so quickly. Hell Tim might not even be around cause of his bullet issues in the beginning. So very good he was not. Everything happens for a reason and all that.
Thank you all again for you likes/comments/reblogs. Every time I get a notification for them makes my heart smile for real. See you all in 1x19 :)
#Caitlin rewatches The Rookie#chenford#chenford hiatus#waiting on s6#summer rewatch#s1#1x18 Homefront#the rookie#tim x lucy#tim bradford#lucy chen#lucy x tim#eric winter#melissa o'neil#otp: doing my job#tim bradford x lucy chen
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Hey I saw from your pinned post that you're willing to write comfort regarding su*cidal thoughts (if I understood you correctly)? If that's the case, could I have some of that with Vash? My mental state has been on a downturn due to some environmental factors and I need a little extra help filling my head with good thoughts. (Don't worry about me btw I'm coping the best I can and sticking to what professionals have told me. This is more a little encouraging treat for me.) Feel free to delete this ask if I'm overstepping or if you're not up for it. I also hope you get some new glasses soon. I know how much it sucks to go without them like that. Have a great day.
You did read correctly! I just simply don't want to write anything that glorifies it as a good thing, or to make it seem like it's a good option. Help is always out there, and this is one fantastic way to get it. I hope this little story brightens you up! Resources will be listed at the bottom! Take care, anon.
TW: Suicidal thoughts, mentions of natural death.
"Hey."
You hear a familiar voice calling out from behind you. It startles you just a bit. You'd been lost in thought, admiring the millions of stars in the night sky.
"Mind If I sit here?" Vash takes a seat on the edge of the rock next to you. You smirk just a bit at his impatience.
"You sat before I even gave my answer." You reply with a gentle chuckle. You would have said yes either way, so you choose to let his rash decision slide for now.
Vash grins at you with a toothy smile. You enjoy when his smiles are genuine. A selfless man who had the weight of the world on his shoulders, yet here he was taking the time to talk to you.
"...Were you going to do it?" He asks faintly, his smile fading as he rests his palms on his knees. He breathes a sigh of relief when you shake your head in reply.
"No, no. I just thought this was the best view of the night sky." You kick your dangling legs gently, watching them sway. "You could tell, couldn't you?"
The corner of his lip rises as an airy laugh escapes from him. "Sorry. I guess I've just picked up on your habits over time. You always seem to come to this spot when you're feeling that way."
Your eyes gloss over the countless diamonds decorating the night sky. You can't help but be in awe of their beauty. "It grounds me." You hesitantly replied.
Curiosity struck him. He hesitated to press you but ultimately left the choice up to you. "What do you mean?"
"Look at the sky." You move all around you. "Everything you see in the sky has a story." Your head shakes at how absurd it sounds to say it out loud. You opened your mouth to speak, but you were cut off.
"That's true." Vash interjected. "When people look up at the stars in the sky, they only think of them as objects, but even objects have a story to tell." He smiles at you before he continues.
"They can't feel human emotions, but that doesn't mean they haven't had experiences that shaped them. When two stars collide, they change, but we still find them just as beautiful, right?"
You chuckle a bit. "Where are you going with this?" A smile crosses your face.
He returns the smile, grabbing your hand. Your fingers lace together as you admire the stars together.
"I had a whole big speech prepared, but I think I'll get straight to the point. When you look at the stars, the stars look back at you. The universe is too large for you to ever find yourself alone. Even when your day comes, the stars will remember you." He smiles over at you, giving your hand a squeeze. "I'll tell the stars all about you. They'll be so jealous I have someone as cool as you around."
That gets a loud laugh from you, with a small snort escaping as you use your free hand to lightly punch his arm. The two of you laugh together, sharing a moment of peace.
"You may vanish one day, but the universe will never forget you." He says it softly before adding one more comment. "Everyday is a chance to make new memories and to leave your everlasting mark. So...stick around for a while, okay? I think you and I can make more memories than there are stars in the sky."
You two look each other in the eyes, feeling a special bond growing.
"You just spewed word garbage at me...but somehow, it all made sense. Thank you... I'd love to make as many memories as possible. Starting here."
"Let's just enjoy the night. It's not often you get a sky as clear as this." He points up with his free hand. "You can even see all the connections." An almost childish smile appeared on his face. "Rem used to tell me all about that."
You turned towards him before resting your head against his arm. "She did?" You pause. "Well, maybe you can tell me about them too."
Resources if you are in need of help:
US: Call/Text 988.
UK: 0800 689 5652
All forms of crisis lines for EVERY country can also be found here, including lines for things other than sui.cidal thoughts.
#trigun stampede#trigun#suicidal thoughts cw#death mention cw#vash#vash the stampede#Vash x Reader#Vash the Stampede x Reader#breakfast is served!
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Hihi !! I love how u write snake sm ❤️❤️
Can I get some hc of snake and piranha with a teen member of the gang that the gang took in that follows them almost everywhere, maybe they accidentally call them dad or brother 🏃♀️
MULTI x TEEN!READER | written by MOD clever
warnings; some cuss words.
platonic headcanons of Mr. Snake and Mr. Piranha with a teen reader...
Mr. Snake
- Out of the entire gang, he’s definitely the most ‘annoyed’ by it. He’ll complain that they’re slowing the team down, and needs to sit out on most heists, or is just annoyed by their antics.
- But let’s be real here, he really only cares about their well-being, and wants to make sure they’re safe. He gets panicked when they mess up cause… What if they get caught? Sure, maybe he’ll reason this off with,
- “Oh, shut it. I just don’t want to hear any of you guy’s complaining. That would just make everything worse.”
- Nah man, he cares. The only thing that makes it slightly worse is that… (Y/N) following him everywhere would be so annoying and confusing to him. Like, can’t they go hang out with Mr. Shark or Webs instead???
- He gets, teasingly, called a dad from the gang. I mean, he’ll still act more grumpy than usual whenever this happens, but it’s something he’s just very used to already. So let’s just note now, it may take him a second to realize, if (Y/N) were to ever call him ‘dad,’ to realize it wasn’t exactly in a teasing manner.
- So, let’s just say it’s his birthday within the movie. The heist was a success, and now they’re back at the hideout, celebrating his birthday- Much to Snake’s ‘dismay.’ Blowing out the candles, wishing for a toast- Yada.
- “Alright, alright fine! I made a lot of enemies in my time, and I mean a lot. But out of all the people in the world… I hate you guys the least.”
- The guys joked around for a couple of seconds, saying how it brought tears to their eyes, but one little phrase stuck out to him the most.
- “Awe, thanks dad.”
- Snake only rolled his eyes, before being crowded by his friends, getting ready to take a picture. It wasn’t until he put that certain photo onto the fridge that he realized… They didn’t say that in a teasing manner. He turned back around and blinked at the certain teen, watching as they grabbed a hold of Piranha after he had devoured the cake. And he simply just smiled to himself.
~~~
Mr. Piranha
- It’s a fight for Webs and Piranha when talking about who is able to get along the ‘most’ with (Y/N), they’re both equal. Piranha is just able- If people weren’t too scared of him, he’d probably get along with teenagers a lot, due to his impulsive and chaotic nature.
- But also probably not the best influence on (Y/N). Like I said, he’s impulsive, practically crazy. Oh, they’re about to do something completely dangerous? OH HE IS ABSOLUTELY IN!
- "You want us to go and steal the bank by ourselves? Bueno, ¡vamos al grano, chica/chico!"
Translation; “Well, let's get down to business, girl/boy!”
- Has the most ‘big brother’ energy out of the whole group, I’ll be honest. He’s a ride-or-die person for the entire group But mostly for (Y/N) in this situation. If he was tall enough, he’d absolutely ruffle their hair, and lock them into a hug.
- Absolutely has gotten hurt for their safety. Was it, yet again, done due to his impulsive actions? … Yes, but seriously, he’s always getting himself hurt for the rest of the group. This wouldn’t exactly be a shocking moment at all.
- There would be no accident with calling each other sibling terms, Piranha already calls his gang such terms. Either teasingly or genuine, there’s no way they haven’t called each other with sibling terms.
- “¡Oye, hermano/hermana, el Lobo te quiere!”
Translation; “Yo, brother/sister, the Wolf wants you!”
- “¡Presiona el acelerador, hermano/hermana! La policía nos está ganando terreno, ¡quiero una mejor persecución de autos!”
Translation; “Press on the gas, sis/bro! The police are gaining on us, I want a better car-chase!”
- He loves calling his friends by family terms, because he genuinely makes him happy knowing they’re more like family to him. Having someone that he can do on, practically on a daily basis though makes it so much better.
#mod clever#s/o headcanons#the bad guys#the bad guys x reader#bad guys#the bad guys dreamworks#mr snake#mr snake x reader#mr piranha x reader#mr piranha
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▪︎Some LEGO Monkie Kid Headcanons Pt. 2!▪︎
Ayoooo~ Part 2 finally! Decided to write some more headcanons to warm myself up after another massive break. These headcanons have all been pretty general so far, but I will absolutely be adding some reader-insert elements eventually since they are kinda meant to tie into my Ao3 series.
Part 1 Part 2
~
• You know that common anxiety a lot of people struggle with where you worry that all of your friends secretly hate you? Well, MK's thought process works completely opposite of that.
• He's so genuinely earnest in how much he cares for his friends that it comes full circle, and it's hard for him not to believe that they feel the same way. (And luckily, in his case, they absolutely do.)
• It does play some into how oblivious he can be though, because a lot of times, he will not pick up on it if someone is mad at him unless blatantly told. Basically, as long as you're sharing a space relatively peacefully with him, he automatically assumes that everything's okay and you're on good terms.
• I think that explains his relationship with Red Son and the Demon Bull Family pretty well.
• What's that, Red Son? This ceasefire is just a temporary truce until Demon Bull Family's next opportunity to rise to power? Too bad. The SECOND they stopped actively acting as antagonists and worked together, MK began considering them friends. Want to change his mind? Gonna have to start trying to kill him again. Otherwise, get used to the sleepovers, noodles and beach parties.
• Mei is absolutely the type of person to ~grip~, smack, hang off of, or cling to the person closest to her when she starts laughing. MK does this as well to a lesser agree, but it amplifies when Mei's around and they happen to be standing next to each other, just because they feed off eachothers energy so much. The two often end up in absolute hysterics when they're together and something funny happens, leaving them clinging to eachother mirthfully, OR to whoever has the misfortune of standing in between them when they begin cracking up.
• I like to think that Macaque and Wukong both hold primarily vegetarian diets, y'know, on account of them both being monkeys.
• There's a part in JTTW where Wukong and the rest of the pilgrams are trying to bring the emperor of a kingdom called "Crow-Cock" back to life. Wukong goes up to heaven and extorts some soul-restoring exlier from Lao tzu, but even after giving it to the emperor's corspe, one of them has to "breath life back into him" as the final step. Zhu Bajie actually volunteers but Tripitaka stops him, saying that among the three disciples (Wukong, Bajie, and Wujing), Wukong was the only one of them with "pure breath", having sustained himself in nothing but fruits and nuts his whole life.
• Technically, I have seen one part from the book referenced where Wukong supposedly implies that he has eaten human before, so either I'm not there yet, I missed it or I don't remember it, and if true, it would be a direct contradiction to the moment mentioned above. So that's where the headcanon part of this comes in, and I'm gonna run with the idea that in that particular instance, he was joking.
• For Wukong, his diet is just a preference. It's mentioned at least once in JTTW that he's not a fan of cooked food, and eating raw meat doesn't appeal to him in the slightest.
• Macaque, on the other hand, can't stand the taste of meat. Cooked or raw, to him, it tastes like blood either way. Secretly wishes he could stomach it just because, being a monkey, he subconsciously views eating meat as predatory behavior and has always been a little baffled by that fact that humans are consistently meat-eaters despite their docile, unintimidating nature.• Macaque also, however, doesn't dislike cooked in the way that Wukong does. He's actually a big fan of tofu in almost any form.
• Oh, but yes, they do both eat bugs.
• All the monkeys, and I mean ALL of the monkeys on FFM, retire to water-curtain cave at night. The little guys like to sleep with their king, so there will be hundreds of them sleeping scattered about the inside of Wukong's shack and around the surrounding cavern. Anyone spending the night will inevitably find themselves completely surrounded by morning.
• After the events of season 4, Macaque actually returns to Flower Fruit Mountain to live. He and Wukong still aren't on good terms, but it's a big island, so they never have to see each other.
•According to Macaque, Wukong can call himself it's king all he wants, but it was his home before he and Wukong were friends, and now that things are mostly peaceful, it will go back for being his home for a long time afterwards.
• He has his own little hideout in an underground cavern on the other side of the mountain. The little monkeys actually come in to visit him all the time, but he has them sworn to secrecy so that none of them tell Wukong exactly where he lives. He doesn't care that Wukong knows he's back, but he'd rather not give him the means to drop in if he ever felt like it.
#lego monkie kid#lmk#mk lego monkie kid#mei dragon#sun wukong#macaque#six eared macaque#SMDMAEIB#I say series but as of the time I'm posting this it only has one installment lol
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𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓 𝘊𝘈𝘕 𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘈 𝘓𝘖𝘛 𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.
REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!
NAME: Cláudia
PRONOUNS : She/her
PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : Discord. Ims, sometimes, though I often forget to check them asdfghfds I also enjoy communicating via tags.
NAME OF MUSE(s) : Kaeya! But I also like calling him Kae or Yaya when talking ooc with friends. He's my pookie, so it's only natural that I use nicknames of endearment.
BEST EXPERIENCE : honestly sobbing my eyes and soul out because of interactions or potential scenarios that I discuss with friends. I crave that sweet, sweet pain. It's at times like those that I really go, 'wow, all this that we create... Art, really. This is what makes life worth living'. It is honestly one of the best feelings for a writer to feel.
RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : I don't think I have many...? Mostly because I am pretty chill with stuff. I guess I will mention the usual god-modding stuff or forcing headcanons onto my character, though it rarely happens.
If I have to give a more specific answer, though...? Hm. This might sound controversial, but it is heartbreaking to see that people do not distinguish fiction from reality anymore. Especially when that translates into attacking//bashing//starting fandom witch hunts, only because someone likes certain contents or ships you don't like or find "immoral".
I have been roleplaying for many years and I have always thrived in fandoms whose contents or nature could be easily seen as controversial ( if you know Diabolik Lovers, I'm blowing you a little kiss ), so it's rather weird to see people so sensitive these days. Not that you have to enjoy x or y, but if you don't, then simply curate your own space and go on with your day. You don't have to attack others or make them feel inferior for enjoying something you don't. I've seen firsthand, multiple times, people who stopped writing, drawing or just creating in general because they were attacked for it. Not cool.
TLDR; Just let people enjoy what they want and write what they want. I don't need to be more direct than this to get my point across. Learn to differentiate a person's interests from their true nature. If you're not capable of doing that, then... Well. We're probably not meant to be.
MUSE PREFERENCES: For settings, I prefer writing angst! Fluff! And surprisingly domestic, day-to-day stuff. But when it comes to muses, I tend to lean toward complex, multifaceted ones. Usually ones that choose to present themselves in a certain way and carry out a performance of sorts, that may not truly represent their deepest inner musings, thought patterns, or genuine feelings.
PLOTS OR MEMES : I tend to lean toward memes because I'm not very good at plotting + Kaeya has a mind of his own. I'm just here to type, he leads fdghjhr
LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : Long! I do not know how to be concise and I love partners who match that energy www
BEST TIME TO WRITE : It depends on my mood. I don't have a preferable time to do it. When motivation strikes --- that's the best time to write.
ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : I have been finding more and more that yes, I am. More than I initially thought.
Tagged by: @nagareboshiko thank you for the tag!! <3
Tagging: you!
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I'm really sorry if I sound negative, I just need to voice some of my thoughts on how Malina was written at the end before I can content myself with the rest of the season....
because even though I hear what people are saying about "choice" ...I just can't make it fully make sense...
Mal's ability to track is based on Morozova's magic bloodline. and his special link to Alina allows him to hear a buzz in the back of his head when he's holding her hand or searching for her. But what has that got to do with them falling in love???
By all means, question it (preferably before the "Vows We Could Keep" scene, please). But for goodness sake, come to the right conclusion.
'Cause I just don't buy this idea that they can't tell if what they have is real or not... and neither did they in the book. Certainly not Malyan "you were meant for more than I can give you so say goodnight and send me away before I kiss you senseless" Oretsev who drove himself mad loving Alina from a distance, loving her even against all hope of a future together. And certainly not Alina "none of it mattered if Mal was dead" Starkov who loved him more than any amount of power he could offer her.
In the book they knew that they forged their own bond based on YEARS of history together and several life-changing events too. Their relationship wasn't just some easy thing.... it took them being forcibly split up, coming near death several times, and having to imagine never seeing each other again for them to finally admit what they felt out loud... they had to use human communication, writing letters and pining for years, to work out what they meant to each other after being scared to say it... So yes, they earned their relationship.
But yes, they also accepted that fate brought them together and were glad of that. They didn't deny that they were always destined to meet, but it just followed naturally in their minds that if and when they met, of course, they would inevitably fall in love--because they love each other so much now that how could they not love each other then? And yet... they both acknowledge that they would be different people without each other and their love story would look different... but still they can't imagine a lifetime in which they meet and don't fall in love.
At the point when Mal looses his Tracking Ability, the loss is not enough for him to question if their friendship and love and sacrifice for one another was only destiny because he'd already confirmed that their love was not a product of their magical link. Just like Alina's magical link to The Darkling couldn't make her love him, it could only call or draw her to him, even when she actually hated him. In the same way, Mal and Alina could have grown up enemies or rivals always orbiting one another but never actually caring for one another. It was their understanding... They genuinely cared about each other. They formed a true friendship and fell in love.
The way we know it's not because of magic is because the love they share was never contingent solely on a warm fuzzy tingly feeling when they were near. Summoning sunlight and tracking amplifiers does not equate to falling in love.
If being the sun summoner and the firebird is what brought them together, what was it that kept Mal from just running away with her once they were together? What was it that made Mal admire her strength and leadership even if it meant she needed to marry a prince and keep him at a distance? He saw her needs, her duty, her destiny and took himself out of the picture thinking it would be best for her. That's not an act of ~magic drawing them together... that's selfless, sacrificial love.... which is kinda their WHOLE THING and the whole reason they are endgame. Because sacrificial love is stronger than cruel greed and power any day. That's what Malina is about. Choosing love over power.
So even though I understand Mal having some kind of identity crisis about what his purpose is without his tracking ability, and even though I like the idea of "I choose you" at least as much as "you are my destiny" ...I don't like when the show has him suggest that their shared destiny in finding each other somehow also negates their free will in the matter of falling in love. They already chose one another... They already fought for each other over and over again. And not because of ~magic.
And that small but somehow massive shift in the narrative is the one thing I really struggle to get behind... because it's like the writers are conceding that there was a problem with the way the book was written when there never was.
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MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 17: THE PRINCESS OF NOWHERE (2010)
1. The Introduction
Hello, Dear Neighbors. Thank you for joining the party today. I’m feeling better, fortunately, and I’m ready to analyze media again.
Fittingly, today we’re talking about Pauline Bonaparte, the woman who had a scandalous reputation back in the day and seems like a typical party girl. Since I do like the woman, I’ve always been curious as to what kind of media is out there that tells her story.
Sure, there’s the movie called “Imperial Venus”, but it looks like Pauline is far more obscure than some of her family members (and don’t even get me started on Napoleon). So you can imagine how intrigued I was after stumbling across this particular book, written by a distant descendant of the Borghese family.
I’ll admit that the author’s identity did cause concern for me, mainly due to the potential for slander and negative bias to wriggle their way into the narrative, but the premise about the story being told from the prospective of a character close to Pauline seemed intriguing so I gave the book a shot.
Luckily, it’s available in free PDF form here. And, without spoilers, the read was… interesting.
This review is dedicated to @aminoscribbles .
2. The Summary
This is the story of Pauline Bonaparte and her tumultuous and toxic relationship with Prince Camillo Borghese, told from the point of view of Pauline’s foster daughter and distant cousin, Sophie Leclerc.
(Sophie is an original character btw. )
Sounds like an interesting idea with potential, but let’s keep going.
3. The Story
First of all, due to all the POV switching and the focus on Paulette, you can pretty much forget about Sophie since she fades into the background rather quickly and becomes irrelevant faster than a new fashion trend. Kinda makes me wonder why she was even in the book to begin with.
The plot pacing is also clunky, clumsily intertwined with flashbacks and fictional letters, but apparently the author is writing for the first time so of course it’s not going to be flawless. Still, I do wish he worked a bit more on the story before publication. 
The negative bias also is there but it’s a weird mixed bag and not as bad as I expected - there’s at least an attempt to make Pauline a complex character and tell the story of a toxic yet ultimately loving couple, so points for effort.
Unfortunately, the story speed runs through moments like Pauline joining Napoleon on Elba, moments that could’ve given us more of a glimpse into her character and would definitely be more engaging than the awfully long sex scenes in the book.
4. The Characters
As I said, Sophie becomes irrelevant fairly quickly so I’m not sure what to make of her. She’s a very flat character whose initial admiration for Pauline isn’t properly justified. Nor is her relationship with the woman properly explored. A shame and a waste of potential, really.
Pauline herself isn’t evil like I expected, so it’s a pleasant surprise. However, she’s still capricious, selfish and careless. She does have nice moments like personally nursing Sophie back to health and she does genuinely grieve her husband and later her son.
However, all the nice moments are undermined by the moment when it’s revealed that Pauline poisoned herself and Sophie with arsenic to make Borghese believe that they got sick and send them to France. Err… WTF?!
(Yes, she does that in the book, even though the real Pauline was so sickly that she wouldn’t even NEED poison. As for poisoning a child… can’t imagine her doing so.)
Borghese himself is, naturally, almost a saint (duh), but still makes mistakes here and there, so he’s just flat and we never see a deeper dive into his relationship with Pauline.
To be honest, all characters are flat and underdeveloped so let’s move on.
5. The Setting
Some descriptions are good but, again, underdeveloped.
6. The Writing
The writing style is actually solid and sometimes engaging, but there are a few instances of Pauline being a bit too crass to feel realistic and those sex scenes are boring as hell.
Couple that with flashbacks and letters and yeah… it’s a hit or miss at best.
7. The Conclusion
All in all, definitely not an awful book. I’ve seen MUCH worse. That being said, it’s not a good book either. Just… decent but underbaked.
Check it out if you want, but it’s still biased towards Borghese and doesn’t do Pauline justice, unfortunately. It’s a mixed bag for me though so I will not reread this book.
Anyway, on that note, let us end our tiny soirée. Stay tuned for more reviews, everyone!
Love,
Citizen Green Pixel
#malmaison media salon#pauline bonaparte#napoléon bonaparte#camillo borghese#general leclerc#napoleonic media#obscure napoleonic media#napoleonic books
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Would unironically love to see a writeup about the anti-rpf movement and how it connects to ableism. Homophobia I can kind of see, people seem to take way more issue with m/m rpf than of f/m from what i've seen, especially in classic rock. But ableism? (Genuine curiosity btw! )
-a curious rpf lover
so i normally don't get into shipcourse, but this is something I actually feel passionate about. RPF writers and readers are attacked for a lot of reasons, some of them fair and a matter of personal opinion, a lot of them very obviously bigoted. (also I will be reblogging this on my discourse blog @political-faggotry, if you want to send me asks in response to this post send them there!)
People take way more issue with m/m and f/f RPF than m/f RPF, as you said. This is because fanfiction and other forms of "shitty literature" have always been associated with queer people. This has been the case since at least the 1960s, when queer authors were forced to write shitty tragic stories that can't really be classified as love stories in order to have their stories told at all. A lot of queer-coded media was like this too, and cishet people caught on.
My informed opinion is that modern-day RPF was created because of an intersection of neurodivergence and queerness. Basically, ND queer people who felt out of place in society came together and formed fandoms around bands, actors, celebs, etc. Due to the increasing popularity of fanfiction in the 2000s, it was only natural that this would eventually bleed into fandoms of bands.
I think that the reason that M/M RPF fic was/is so popular is because of the trans eggs in fandom that 1) liked to project onto male characters and 2) viewed women as competition. Back when I was an egg, this was definitely what drew me to RPF. I did not like reading about Pete Wentz with his actual girlfriend, or with some female OC, I liked reading about him with a man I could project onto and who didn't feel like competition.
Anti-RPF "movements" during the 2000s was very obviously homophobic, misogynistic, and transphobic. Readers & writers would regularly get called homophobic slurs, get misogynist and transandrophobic comments, and otherwise be attacked for being queer and/or perceived female.
In the late 2010s was when the rise of calling things "problematic" because cringe culture died truly happened. Instead of saying "I don't like what you write because you're a faggot", people would say "actually you're problematic for writing that". It was literally the same shit we would get told in the 2000s, replacing words like "faggot" and the r-slur with "problematic".
I'm not saying that all people who call media problematic are like this - far from it. I call some media problematic too! However, media perceived as queer was targeted with accusations of being problematic far more than media without queerness attached, and many people who were already homophobic used this as an excuse to be homophobic while still being seen as "progressive".
I have an entire other rant about how non-MLM "progressives" can be and are homophobic sometimes, but I don't really have the spoons to write all that out right now - I will do it later though!
It would be misleading of me to not also talk about how TEHMs played a big part in the homophobia and transphobia that was directed at the (queer) RPF community. For those unaware, TEHM stands for Trans Exclusionary Homosexual Male. They are basically the TERF lesbians of the MLM gay community. They believe that gay trans men, especially nonbinary trans men and autistic trans men, are straight female fetishizers trying to invade the gay community.
TEHMs often come after transmasculine fans of yaoi anime, queer fanfiction, and yes, RPF. TEHMs will claim that the fact that transmasculine people tend to be in fandoms with a lot of M/M ships somehow "proves" that we are just fetishizing. So. Fucking. Many. Of the most common anti-RPF arguments use TEHM talking points, either intentionally or unintentionally.
TEHMs make use of dogwhistles to spread their messages even to people who are often trans-inclusionary. Claims of fetishizing MLM relationships are more often than not TEHM dogwhistles. A very common claim that I see among people who are VERY anti-RPF (not as in "i do not think RPF is good, but i don't really care all that much", but more as in "if you have ever read RPF in your life you should die") is that RPF is basically sexual assault.
Why would you accuse an entire fandom of young, queer, transmasculine people of sexually assaulting people who are usually 20+ years older than them? This is TEHM rhetoric.
I also want to touch on the ableism a little. Many RPF writers are neurodivergent, as one might expect. The majority of the ones I've interacted with are. The internet loves to get mad at neurodivergent people for having "problematic" interests, and with RPF it is no different.
We are singled out and our interests are seen as inherently disordered, immoral, etc. Those who are very strongly against RPF either do not know this, or they know this and are fine with harassing neurodivergent people over what amounts to a non-issue.
Now, that's the end of my point, but I have a few things to clarify. I am not trying to say that if you personally don't like RPF that you are actually transphobic, homophobic, and/or ableist. You are allowed to dislike anything for any reason and I don't care. My problem is with the people who hate RPF so much that they believe that reading it is a moral failing, or that it is okay to harass those that like it.
It is incredibly important to have boundaries writing RPF, which means not doing it anywhere that it is likely the people you are writing about will see. It is also okay to believe that RPF is inherently breaking a boundary; I disagree, but I see where your (not at anon) opinion is coming from and I respect it. It is not at all bigoted to dislike a thing for those reasons, as they are valid reasons to dislike something.
There is also a larger discussion to be had about the commodification of humans themselves in the music industry, but that is beyond the scope of this post.
I really only have a problem with the people who believe that it is a moral failing, or literal sexual assault, to be in a mostly harmless community that has been historically associated with queerness. That is all.
Please don't bring proship/anti discourse to this post.
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very normal queenkaard headcanons 2/2
Subservient: prepared to obey others unquestioningly
Less important; subordinate
He has suspicious knowledge of chemicals
He likes cats, and cats like him
He strictly calls those off brand spiders (aka daddy long legs) “harvestmen” and refuses to use their more commonly known nameHe likes the number 34 for no particular reason
He writes 7s like i do, weirdly
He gives very “stick to the question” answers, a lot of people have constantly given him the “i dont care” when he adds extra information about a topic after answering someones question.
He would smell vanilla extract and chug it
The first few times Queen complimented him, Rou took it as a joke and awkwardly laughed it off bcuz he genuinely believed (technically believes) he didnt deserve such a thing from someone so superior to him
If he had sugar tolerance he would love apple pie with vanilla ice cream
He constantly has nightmares about when he almost entirely turned to stone
He likes to ice skate, and he wears very specific figure skate shoes or whatever
Rou, to try and desperately find purpose, makes it so that he can just be used and discarded at Darkners/Lightners leisure, Que tries to get him out of this habit, but occasionally(read: a lot of the time) he slips back into this habit of just being this useless object thats only there for a minimal amount of things
He loves candles, his favorite scents are pumpkin and linen
Hes very bad at typing, bcuz he has long nails
Oh right i forgot to add on this list, that he has long nails, theyre naturally black :)
He can wink but in the unsettling way
He hates the words failure and mistake, theyve been used so often to refer to him he hates the way it comes out of peoples mouth
He ironically likes the word error, not when referring to him but he likes the way its said and spelled
Ok but what if he purred?? Is that too cringe? Well too bad i already have too many headcanons
He uses mint flavored toothpaste cuz hes boring
Im gonna slap a “you tried” star sticker on his big ass fucking forehead
Rou would either have a very flowy silk gown or steal queens clothes to go to bed, no inbetweens
Why do i imagine this senario where swatch gets all up in rous face but bcuz king is a fucking dickhead he has a flight or fight response and punches swatch
He is very starved for positive affection… so when Que complimented him for the first time he put it off and saw it as a joke yes, but he started wanting to hang out with her more because of said compliments (also he had the biggest crush on her, like he still has the feelings too, but theyre just dating now yippee!!)
Yeah he has mommy issues
He immediately got tired of the “trans-parent” joke, in general he just doesnt like puns (skill issue)
He always gets really happy when Queen compliments him
He had this short period of time dating Queen where he would kind of just exist as a yesman to everything
Him and lancer both would like the rainbow slug (if you know you know)
He can draw, if you peaked in his sketchbook itd be entirely bugs and a lot of Queens
He loves iridescent fabric and when he finally decides to sew he likes using the fabric he has to make outfits that fit the iridescent clothing he already has (i hate this wording what the fuck)
He kind of likes, sea salt and vinegar, chips
He hates the fat on meat and has to spit it out or else he will lose his appetite
He sometimes just soaks in a bathtub for too long, i also imagine his weird slime skin is sponge like. Ok maybe ill remove the sponge aspect that was a joke brought on by the question of if he could mold
Child rou gives “mom i frew up” vibes
His voice claim is the vocaloid voicebank Kevin, a good song is UNCANNY by GHOST/Ghost and Pals :)
He probably calls spoiled milk “vintage milk”
Rou probably did that bobbin lacing thing, but he dropped that hobby in his 20s
Que
Queen is very warm at all times,very huggable
She can cook and is very good at it
She loves mistranslated shirts, and has set out to get as many as she can
I do maybe fully believe that she would half ironically half unironically call Rouxls “babygirl”
Queen has. Good posture
Yeah she does his makeup
She gives Rou, forehead kisses, or just in general a lot of positive affection
She makes the best food, ever
She paints Rous nails sometimes
She very much constantly compliments Rou
My biggest flex is unintentionally predicting AI art /hj; i think that Que cant properly create art and can only really copy or take parts of other peoples art and mash it into one, she can also perfectly replicate art. She draws like a printer too
She very easily gets tricked by optical illusions
I feel like she would say “holy fuck, holy fucking fuck, that body of yours is absurd” to Rou at least twice
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