#also. screw physics it is MY silly projections

[mechcity-skyline]

@d-buggers-org HEY SO LIKE WHAT IF I HIT YOUR LOVECORE DESIGNS WITH THE RPG BLAST HUH?!

[planet-crait]

Episode 9! I think it’s 9. (Edit it’s episode 10) I’m getting confused lolz. How about this the episode I’m watching is called Weird Science. This review tested the limits of my patience with how much tumblr ate it. Forgive me if things are out of order I did my best.

Hazel draws that face criminally quick and I also have to wonder if that buck tooth is another Timmy reference. I’m going to pretend it is.

Either way this seems to be a science project of some sort though I didn’t think you could turn a potato into a light bulb unless I am misidentifying the item Hazel is using.

(Fuck tumblr for eating like half of my post I hate this. I’m sorry if this are out of order or it seems I missed stuff I just. I did the best I could this is so frustrating.)

Okay so I googled it and there is definitely more Hazel needs to do with her potato for it to actually work.

Cosmo how do you not know what a lightbulb looks like??? I’m majorly concerned. Uh wait how does Cosmo know how lightbulbs taste like? Wanda that is so mean. Cosmo!

But oh. Oh I cannot imagine the pressure of trying to follow the footsteps of a sibling who won every year that sounds brutal. I went to the same school as my older sister I looked exactly like and got a lot of the same teachers and that was hell. She’s going to a different school at least but uh. Still a lot of pressure.

Wait wait wait why did you wait til the last minute to do this project if it’s so important? I thought Hazel cared about school so this seems weird to me for her to procrastinate but maybe it’ll be explained? Oh Wanda are you more concerned about Hazel or Cosmo right now I can’t tell.

Cosmo when did you have time to grab the lightbulb again you were in frame the whole time? Okay the jeans comment was funny though.

Okay so now Hazel is uh sort of doing the other stuff to make it work but she didn’t even try and glance over the book? Watch a YouTube video? Sweetie this won’t end well. Uhh wait how is the wish working? This is for a science fair that’s a competition, it’s against the rules to help in a competition? Maybe this will be explained later? Or maybe it will stop working once the competition starts? That could be interesting!

Okay so Jasmines song to remember is silly and oh she can’t remember it that tracks. But VIVA LA PLUTO PLUTO IS A PLANET I WILL NOT ACCEPT OTHERWISE!!!

How does anyone believe Dev actually made a microchip like legit that is. Way too advanced for a ten year old to make. I have a feeling bribery will be at play here.

Wait what is happening with…everything? Why would her wishing her project work screw up all of this stuff? Wait they…had to…rewrite the laws of physics? I. What? Is this to get around the no helping in compensation rule? Wouldn’t that still be helping? Why is Wanda encouraging this behavior or her cheating her project? It might mess with Devs but STILL.

Meditation? Uhh what kind of elementary school is this? Why are their wands NOW making the fart noise? Oh Jorgan is here. So much is happening so fast. How are the wands not working they’re magic not science??? And there is a science fairy!? I mean….I guess?

The laws of physics and the laws of the universe affecting eachother both does and doesn’t make sense and is making my brain hurt as much as when I try and unwind time travel logic.

WHY WOULD IT BEING FOR A SCIENCE FAIR AFFECT IT? I don’t understand. Why did they leave? Weren’t they supposed to help fix it? Oh poor Cosmo he is getting beat up this episode. Shouldn’t Cosmo and Wanda be careful? I would think people would wonder what is making so much noise and I guarantee you raining potato’s will make a lot of noise and cause so much damage. Like so much damage.

Wild speculation, Hazel is going to finally read the book and use the raining potato’s to make more power. Nope she’s going to steal Devs microchip. Once again missing the point. Okay then.

Oh Cosmo and Wanda completely missing the point but oh you two are also so cute lolz.

With how little time is left I imagine they’re going to just chase down the now floating…microchip and use it instead of the potato’s which fine okay whatever miss the point again.

Chip Skylark reference?????!!!?? Nice (Powerline is a way better pop star though lolz)

Wait they’re just sitting and watching and waiting for the ten year old to fix it??? Uhh what? Why come if you won’t do anything for to help? If magic is all screwy how have Cosmo and Wanda been poofing around? I have questions.

The principle ate the- okay. She should be dead but physics are weird so sure fine whatever. But seems I was wrong about not using the potato thing. When did they find such a big potato? And oh now they’re helping okay lazy bums.

Okay Jorgan that is impressive lolz.

No ones going to question how they wound up like that? No one at all? Okay off you go. Principle should definitely be dead though. Like for sure dead.

Okay this is just laziness the potato looks exactly the same as before come on yall. Oh it didn’t work okay. But wow a rare genuine moment of sort of kindness from the principle and the lesson I’ve been begging the show for on not procrastinating? Thats good to see lolz. I do think it’s important for kids to know they did good even if they don’t win these competitions. Thankfully I never had to enter one but still.

OHHH DISABILITY REP I LOVE TO SEE IT!!! We’re seeing so much diversity in the show is really great to see honestly

I almost forgot about Winns project. Should have expected them to win lolz. (It’s literally their name). Aww, I’m glad Hazels parents are supportive. That’s really good to see and maybe a tiny baby nod to Meet the Robinson’s with the message about failure helping learn? Love to see it.

With how many times wishes go wrong because Cosmo and Wanda have to do crazy things to make the wish work why don’t they warn her about this? Thats the main thing I’m wondering right now.

Overall not a bad episode but there have been others I liked more. Onto the next one!

[ratcandy]

Seeing as ur a entomologist I like feel kinda silly using my limited bug facts to make a HC but I know ants are very pheromone driven and I can imagine Sozo feeling like super lost in the cult sober? Both like physically and mentally.

Like yes its very similar to a colony but there's like a biological factor missing that makes him feel lonely and disconnected. Cause he always mentions his family (wherever they are now) and how he clearly misses them and it could be the very fact lone ants don't survive long.

Like he can't get around well cause he probably barely left the grotto while infected and even then the Mushrooms led him back but there's no pheromone trail the cult. Or just having different task everyday. Cause I like to think he was like a scout since he was a researcher and not being able to do that role anymore like messes with him cause yeah it's easier to cook meals or serve a pint but he was like bred to do that and ant life is just so different from where he is now.

Sorry for rambling but i just really liked ur takes on Sozo and how you draw him and I wanted to share :]

DON'T WORRY about limited bug facts I am only a student!! And while I have done actual research on ants in an Ant Lab, that project was specifically about genome stuff regarding an invasive species, so my ant knowledge isn't super duper detailed!! I can just tell you basic stuff really sdghKJH

But the idea that Sozo would be absolutely Screwed Over in the cult due to pheromone fuckery* (or lack thereof) is totally valid!!!! And I love adding more things to make him suffer (lovingly) so Hell Yea. Whether the lack of a pheromone trail would be an issue for him or not would mostly depend on how anthropomorphized these guys are though,,,, regardless I am ALL for it

And definitely regarding him being lonely + Absolutely decimated by the fact he has no idea where he is or how to get back to his family. Like that whole situation is just Ow from an emotional standpoint, not even touching the Ant Biology. But touching the ant biology, ants having a lower life expectancy in isolation isn't just due to the Dangers, isolated ants just seemingly die faster than grouped ants, with no real known reason why (the journal I linked hypothesizes that it is a mixture of energy imbalance - as isolated ants tend to walk around more and spend a ton of energy - and issues with digesting food while alone). So that is a Very Real threat looming over him, if we're paying attention to that!!

AND Sozo being a colony's scout would make sense!! Not only for plot (him getting lost), but also for real ants, the older ones are the ones that do the foraging. Younger ants tend to stay at/near the colony while older ones go out longer distances (bees are the same way, it's called temporal polyethism!). So him being an Old Man on his last go out makes total sense. It's just an upsetting last excursion, since he can't get back to his family now.

And now he can't do it,,, yeah :( Having instaed to provide for this "new" colony that doesn't function the same way as he/his family did.... Culture shock to the Extreme

*(speaking of pheromone fuckery, now that we're talking about irl ant stuff, i had a really self-indulgent angst idea a while back about any of Sozo's family actually trying to track down where he was. Because if they did stumble across the grotto, before even getting NEAR the skull he hid away/died in, they would be able to sense the death pheromone. The very specific "i'm dead, bring me back to the colony" chemical that dead ants love to give off. like that would be a suck shit way to find out ur family member died)

[hello-there-world]

anyway, have more...idk, niche?? obscure?? idk, these Rewrite headcanons are just random things that range from projection to things i think would be cool for them:

alright...ripping the band-aid off: Toxic Old Man Yaoi (it gets one-sided on William's end after...Y'know) is canon to the Rewrite. alright moving on-

(listen. i wasn't expecting to get into it. I Really Wasn't. and then it grew on me. and then i saw That One Line from the novels where someone stumbled on William's journals and read the parts about Henry and i just kinda went ??? oh so that's an actual line?? holy shit?? because i had seen someone post the line before but i didn't know if it was like. an actual line from the books. oh my lord.)

William wasn't exactly subtle, but unfortunately for him, Henry had the Autism Obliviousness (same here, bestie).

Claire, William's (now dead) wife, was actually aro, and viewed her and William's relationship as some sort of Lavender Marriage, because to her, she gets to raise the kids she wanted, and William gets to be gay for his business partner-

Anna also didn't mind too much, mostly because (unbeknownst to her at the time) she was a lesbian and already didn't really feel that way about Henry to begin with. she was more upset about the fact that Henry was so damn Oblivious.

Henry always struggled with his balance (i'm projecting), but before he got his cane, he'd lean on things for support or hold onto someone. Will would also help him get around by holding his arms or even hands. did i mention Will was not subtle.

William and Henry did Not have good childhoods. it's part of the reason why they're Like That with their own families (Henry being a good dad but a pushover, and William not being physically or verbally abusive, but being emotionally abusive instead because he's That paranoid about screwing up, and then ends up screwing up in another way).

William's obsession with rabbits and hares isn't purely a Special Interest thing (although that is a huge part of it), it's...also kinda partially something that came from some Childhood Trauma stuff, as well as kinda being a therian thing.

speaking of! 4/6 members of the Afton Household have some therian/otherkin shit going on. William is ockin (i don't think this one needs much explanation. like. i think the guy pretty much kins his own oc) and is a hare/rabbit therian. Michael is a dog/fox therian. Elizabeth is also a rabbit/hare therian. Cassidy is plushkin (look. do i even need to explain this one), and it's part of the reason he uses a lot of toy/broken toy metaphors for himself after he dies.

for William, being O'Hare was kind of this...escapism thing. he can be his true, genuine self and he isn't viewed as annoying for it. if anything, people find him lovable. he can be a playful silly hare and he's looked up to for it. but...after he becomes Springtrap, after years of being locked in a back room, stuck in building filled with spirits who either hate or fear him...at some point, William stops pretending he isn't a sadistic monster. it's hard to deny it. and so he doesn't. Springtrap is effectively William fully embracing being O'Hare....but becoming twisted at the same time, if that makes sense.

it's like...imagine you see this rotting green-yellow bunny that CLEARLY has a rotting corpse inside, but it's acting eerily cheerful and treating (checks notes) Chasing You Down With The Intent To Maim And/Or Murder You as a fun game you're both enjoying. yeah, by this point, William kinda Lost It (and by "kinda" i mean He 100% Did)

this is how several Fazbear employees died or Almost died by the way. Fazbear Entertainment owes them so much for therapy, both physical AND mental-

Michael struggles to figure out if he's dealing with Actual paranormal shit or if it's just hallucinations and stuff that he's having out of guilt and grief (USUALLY, it is the former)

Mike once dislocated one of his knees on the school playground back in elementary school (me projecting), and William practically spoiled him rotten during that time. Michael hated it, hated asking his father for help, hated being treated any different. but...with Charlie and his friends, it's like he was perfectly fine asking for help, welcoming of any assistance. oh well! i'm sure there's no deeper meaning to any of that- (something something "Fearing Dependency Yet Also Craving It")

Michael hates the fact he looks so similar to his father.

Jeremy's favorite song is "Mickey" by Toni Basil. take a wild guess why.

William and Cassidy are both technically nonbinary. William never figured it out because he never knew that there Were options besides Man and Woman. probably would've loved it/its pronouns. and neopronouns. Cassidy never figured it out for Obvious Reasons. look, both of them would've loved xenogenders and neopronouns. i honestly believe they would've loved those.

fun fact! Cassidy actually has a lot of similarities to William (of which i am All Too Happy to list. just say the word). uh...don't tell Cass that, though. it'd probably piss him off.

both Charlie and Mike inherited their dads' sexualities, technically (Henry and Charlie are Pan, Will and Mike are Bi).

Everyone's queer and a mess in so many different ways! William, just because you aren't hitting your children doesn't mean that you're a good dad. Stop. Read a parenting book. Actually, don't. I can't imagine 1970s-80s parenting books are that good for all that shit.

[augustjustice]

i HAVE to go with steddie bodyswap 👀

I'm so glad you asked about this one! Bodyswap is one of my favorite tropes, so this fic is a bit of a pet project for me. It's set post-S4, around April. Eddie is still trying to finish up his final senior year, and the boys each get a taste of each other's respective struggles with school/parents/chronic pain, etc while their friendship is still somewhat new but they're already steadily growing closer. There's also a lot of silly shenanigans with the rest of the ensemble figuring out what's going on with them along the way, and a little bit of plot explanation for why exactly this happened.

A decent-sized chunk of shenanigans below the cut:

It's not his finest moment. 

Because Eddie is only half paying attention when Robin turns pointedly to Steve, frowning as she gives him a curious, probing look. 

"Hey, Steve," she starts slowly, a questioning lilt to her voice, "did you hear about Tammy Thompson?"

Steve snorts, shooting Robin a coy, teasing look. 

"What, is Muppets Live back in town?" he asks expectantly, like he's waiting for her accompanying cackle of laughter. 

It never comes. 

Instead, Robin's eyes widen as she breathes out, "Holy shit."

Fuck. 

"Holy shit, I'm not crazy."

Then she wallops Steve hard on the arm. 

"Ow!" Steve shouts, clutching Eddie's shoulder a tad dramatically as he pouts at her. "What the hell was that for?!" 

"That was for lying to me, Steve Harrington," Robin snaps pointedly, and Steve's eyes widen as the penny drops. 

"Oh, shit."

"Oh shit is right," Eddie agrees from Robin's other side. 

Robin turns and smacks him too. 

"Damn, Buckley, put those guns away," Eddie complains. 

"I'm mad at you, too, Dingus #2."

"I think, technically, I'm Dingus #1 right now."

"Hey," Steve protests with a laugh, "You can't steal the top spot from me, Munson. I'll always be Dingus #1."

"You're damn right you are," Robin interjects. "And also, can I just say…what the fuck, you guys?!" 

"Steve?" she confirms again. 

Steve looks sheepish, giving her that awkward little wave he sometimes does, wiggling all of Eddie’s ringed fingers in a way Eddie really doesn’t think he should still find endearing when Steve is wearing his body.

“Hey, Rob.” 

She whips back around to Eddie, looking almost bug-eyed.

“Eddie?”

He gestures to his own borrowed body with a dramatic flourish.

“In Harrington’s handsome flesh.”

“Oh my god, that really is you inside of there.”

“‘Fraid so,” Eddie tilts his head in acknowledgment. “We’ve gone full Invasion of the Body Snatchers on you, Buck.”

Steve’s brow creases, face screwing up in genuine confusion.

Eddie definitely shouldn’t find the way his nose crinkles and mouth goes all crooked, the way they always do, cute. At this rate he’s gonna develop some kind of a complex. 

“I thought it was Freaky Friday?” Steve says quietly, like he’s talking more to himself than he is to them. 

The back of Robin’s head hits the wall with a thud, like she’s been physically hit full force with the reality of the situation. 

“And here I thought alternate dimensions beneath our feet waiting to swallow us whole was as weird as it was gonna get around here, but, no. We’ve officially found a weirder place. Somebody alert The Weekly Watcher.”

A moment passes, and then her eyes widen in what looks to be slow dawning horror. 

"Wait!” Robin jabs a finger in Eddie’s direction. “I told you about–but…oh, god, it wasn't you."

While Eddie blinks owlishly at her, she jerks her head around to look at Steve, doing that thing they do where they have a whole silent conversation with just their eyes and eyebrows. 

"God, this is weird," Robin confesses when they seem to have settled whatever just happened. 

"Yeah," Steve agrees with a sigh, "tell me about it."

[ballcrusher74]

Your silly art deity alien fella..reminds me of my own art abstract inspired oc! Can I ask how Metanoia acts/interacts with others :0! Is he like, physical? Or more of a projection (voice of a guy who wants to draw oc interactions)

( I LOVE GETTING QUESTIONS ABOUT MY ORIGINAL OCS PLEAKSE SEND MORE I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY OCS A LOT )

Metanoia is very.. kooky. He's energetic, bubbly, and generally friendly towards others, but it's very obvious that he has a couple screws loose. His tone changes a lot in conversations, he acts very exaggerated, dramatic, speaks in long and drawn out sentences with big scary words (sometimes just says straight up word salad), gestures a lot with his hands and body while conversing, loud most of the time, and finds amusement in anything. He's also just trying to sell his stolen interdimensional products to people, and I suppose his attitude towards others also depends on if they take up his offerings or not. If you do, he'll act a little more nicer. If not, he will poke fun at you and annoy you on purpose.

As for his own being, he is a physical entity ! Do be careful though, as he does possess abilities to play tricks on your mind- one which includes the fact that he can induce hallucinogenic effects, which includes seeing multiple duplicates of him ! These clones do do their own actions and speak separate from him, though in a very warped manner, and are questionably real as they can still interact with your physical being. (I hope that makes sense) He's my designated weird guy

As for the art deity fella ... you'll see that guy soon

[fianceart]

┆˹ 🍃 ˼┆◌ Hello hello! I introduce myself, I'm fiance mizu and I'm here to talk to you about my project, an Au based on undertale! •🫐 ▸

-*comic in progress*-

Fanart made by a Twitter artist!

✨ ━━━━━Who is saved sans?━━━━━ ✨

╰┈➤ Saved sans is the guardian and protector of promises, he is in charge of taking care of them and that nothing bad affects the progress of fulfilling them, giving advice head-on, oh in your head, being as if you were giving it to yourself

╰┈➤ where do you live? he dwells and lives in Promisetale! an Au "destroyed" practically, in that au there are only floating lands surrounded by a great galaxy, and in these lands there are various echo flowers where the promises of each Au are kept, even yours

fanart made by saw - Minerva, an artist on Twitter, the full drawing can be found on her profile

╭✩*⢄⢁✧ --- Saved data and likes/dislikes¿ --- ✧⡈⡠*✩╮

ɞ ๛ *- saved is a calm skeleton that only seeks to help others keep their promises, not to abandon her or forget her, she is serious and mature in issues or situations that require it, but always smiling

ɞ๛ *- saved is not one to live with much, he is always in Promisetale oh in different alternate Aus taking care and watching over the promises

ɞ ๛ *- saved have friends? of course! among these are PaperCrane, ink, Dream, blueberry, screw, quill, athena, kamay, kind, hardthey, etc.

ɞ ๛ *- saved loves to eat churros! It is his favorite dish, and even more so if it has chocolate on top, he is a glutton

fanart made by saw - Minerva, an artist on Twitter, the full drawing can be found on her profile

ɞ ๛ *- saved give off any friendly aura? No!! The only thing Saved does is help promises to be fulfilled to the letter, and when he does not achieve his goal, he just withdraws, leaving that monster alone, even if it causes him damage.

ɞ ๛ *- one of his dislikes oh phobia is water, not touching it or anything like that, just being surrounded by a lot of water, like being on a ship in the middle of the ocean with no way out He practically has thalassophobia

ɞ ๛ *- he hates people who are liars when they promise another person something that he knows he can't keep. He dislikes that!

ɞ ๛ *- he does not like to touch or pluck some flower echo of Promisetale, since these contain the promises and can cause harm to him

ɞ ๛ *- What was Saved's first friend? This was PaperCrane, since he appeared first in his Au and helped him with his mental and physical problems, giving Haci the beginning of a friendship even though they have had fights.

fanart made by saw - Minerva, an artist on Twitter

ɞ ๛ *- Saved is Arobixesual, he likes both genres but doesn't feel love for them? Idk

fanart made by saw - Minerva, an artist on Twitter

๛ *- did you have friends and family? Yes, but they died together with Brokentale [Promisetale] since PaperCrane accidentally destroyed it, although they were already dead from the genocidal route they were going through, although now they aren't that dead hehe

ɞ ๛ *- Saved has enemies? Yes, hidden who "should" be the keeper of the promises is, wanting to kill him for taking his life, since he is Saved's first failed attempt

🥀༶ •┈┈┈ Who is hidden sans? ┈┈┈• ༶🥀

°As already mentioned, hidden is the enemy of Saved, it is also a "destroyer" it is the first failed attempt by gaster to recreate the guardian of the promises

⏤͟͟͞͞⪼ Hidden is a bit grumpy and serious, he doesn't like or like to be around others or that others want to be around him

⏤͟͟͞͞⪼Hate promises, feel that they are not so important that you have to take care of them or protect them

⏤͟͟͞͞⪼He does not live in a single Au, he travels from Au to Au practically seeking to make some monster break his promise or forget it to cause Haci damage to Saved

⏤͟͟͞͞⪼ hidden is not afraid, he thinks that it is something silly and that fear is for the weak

⏤͟͟͞͞⪼ He likes coffee sweets, that's what gives him strength and what he sometimes eats

⏤͟͟͞͞⪼ hidden is gay, although he hardly accepts it, he doesn't even accept the fact that he has a partner

⏤͟͟͞͞⪼ hidden's partner is called kye, who he met in Outertale, their relationship is Canon

kye belongs to @dulcelawaifu [on Twitter] just like the drawing below

⏤͟͟͞͞⪼ hidden has a gaster blaster, although he prefers to fight more hand-to-hand with his spear and "knives"

⏤͟͟͞͞⪼ hidden doesn't fight much with other people, the only hate he has is towards Saved

For example, he sees someone hurt or in trouble, he will help him, since those people are not to blame for what happened to him, he thinks that the only one to blame for being discarded is Saved, even if whoever gets in his way of ending him Saved becomes his enemy instantly

===✨°Why are promises important°✨===

°This way of acting helps to strengthen personal will and, at the same time, projects an image of credibility on others. The fulfillment of promises is a golden rule for coexistence

°If the promise is broken, the trust between the two people is lost, something that if it happens several times can end a friendship or even a relationship

° When you make a promise, you are giving your word to someone, and that person will expect you to keep it. Being able to keep your word or your promises says a lot about your character and who you really are. trust is very important

° Fulfilling the word decompresses psychologically, lightens the load, reinforces self-esteem and makes us feel like people worthy of all merit, respect and value

° practically the promises cause positive feelings, yes that is something that Dream supports in taking care of

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊Clarification of some things‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷

•the friendship between ink, blueberry, uh Dream is not canon, it's just a headcanon, so to speak

•Quill, screw, athena and kamay , kind if they are canon friends! its creators are on Twitter

• PaperCrane does not belong to me, it belongs to little-noko

• hidden and Saved are not the same person nor are they siblings!

🩷=If you have any questions, just tell me and I will gladly answer you=🩷

🫐Thanks for taking the time to read! I have a few more things to say but I didn't want to make it so long, thanks anyway!🫐

[creedslove]

LOVE LOVE LOVE HOW UR BUILDING UP THE PLOT!!!!

Loved part 3 so much!!!!!! <333

I just hope you don’t rush with the story, you’re an amazing writer I am so impressed, I usually only see smut or the storyline doesn’t resonate or feels forced. The fact that for once you’re giving so much thought into this, you’re building the anticipation, you have gotten us rooting for the reader, even if you write 100 parts of the story I know it’ll all be amazing because you’re great at delivering !!

For a long time I was looking for a fic with Pedro x reader but writers only choose his characters from shows/movies. I wonder what made you think to start writing about him and not his characters?

Take care writer, you’re putting amazing work out here, we love uuuuu <3

🤍🩶🤍🩶🤍

thank you so much anon, your words are motivating and really sweet! ❤️💖

I don't think I'll rush any chapters I mean, all the chapters were absolutely not planned, I wrote Betrayed as an one shot but people got into it and asked for a part two, which brought a part three, then part four and five (that's being written right now) I have absolutely no idea how many chapters we still have ahead, I just hope I won't go into any writer's block because I'm really enjoying this story and the ideas come naturally and when they don't, I get lots of amazing anon suggestions to work on, so I feel really lucky, to see people are actually invested.

I'm happy you are enjoying it, when I write a story, I try to write something interesting it would catch my attention and I would read it if I someone else had written it, you know what I mean? And I've always loved angst with happy endings, but I like the build up more than the ending when it's done properly and I noticed there's a lot Pedro stories that are rushed to the happy ending, which I don't blame because honestly who wouldn't want to live happily ever after with that man lmao and he is all the time a ray of sunshine to reader which I also enjoy because it brings us comfort when we read it but I thought to myself: what if he is just a normal guy who screws up like everyone else and is too stubborn to admit it? And people enjoyed that portrait! And we all project ourselves into reader, just like I said in another ask, in my mind reader is me just like she is you when you reader and so on, so we honestly just root for ourselves to be strong enough to fend for ourselves no matter how hot Pedro is while breaking our heart 😂😂😂

And the main reason why I began writing about Pedro is because I got into him because of him and not his characters. I had never watched anything he was on and I always saw people gushing about him on Twitter but never got the fuss about it, until about a month or so when whenever I logged on Instagram random pictures or reels of him would show up in my suggestions. I would usually ignore them until I came across that one where he talks about how people usually pronounce 'Pedro' and then he tells the interviewer his full name, using his beautiful accent and as I study Spanish I just LOVED the sound of that. Then other videos of him would appear and I would send them to my friend who really loves him because it reminded me of her. So I went from this guy isn't that ugly to he's not ugly at all to holy shit he's very handsome.

But the cherry on top was about three weeks ago I was going through a rough time where my immune system wasn't great or whatever and I was constantly sick, I had been sick for over a month before that and each week I would have a different problem lol and that week i was again sick and it just drained me emotionally because i was feeling so weak and all the antibiotics I took made me feel physically bad as well and my work schedule was hectic as always, long story short I was a walking corpse that week until I began dreaming about him at night.

The first time I dreamed about Pedro, it was silly but also really sweet, I dreamed I was at the mall, running some errands and with my headphones on, then the song 'Otro día que va' by RBD began playing and I sang along to it and it caught his attention because it was in Spanish so he made small talk and we began chatting, then he invited me for lunch and it was adorable because it was kinda a lunch day. So when I woke up I felt so happy and comforted about the dream and the following nights I also dreamed about him, he was always so sweet in flirty in my dreams and we spoke a lot of Spanish that spiced up things a little bit lol and by the end of the week I already had a massive crush on him, lol

But I wrote for one of his characters: Javier Peña because he makes me feel things™ and I'll probably write more when inspiration comes, just like I'll probably write for Joel Miller in the future because he also makes me feel things™ but so far, my main focus is nuestro dulce pedrito porque lo amo 💖

Thanks a lot anon, your ask was amazing and don't forget the only reason I write it's because of you all and how amazing and support of my work you all are!

❤️❤️❤️

[strangebruisesinc]

Hii ~ <3 i would like a matchup for homestuck please!

I am a 5'6 transmasculine individual who uses he/him pronouns. I am mostly attracted to men but remain unlabeled. I am an Aries who is true to his sign! My classpect is heir of time and i'm really into vulture culture. I am autistic with occasional nonverbal episodes. I really like to cuddle and my love languages are touch, words of affirmation and gift giving. I exhibit animal-like traits and stim verbally and visibly a lot. I like to respond with witty comebacks and jokes. I am awfully jumpy and get scared easily, in terms of surprises. When it comes to brutal content i'm good 😅 i dress in more alternative styles and like older post punk music. I'm either very hyper or halfway dead. There is no in-between. I am very protective and passionate towards the people i care about. I feel comforted by comforting other people and like to see them happy ^^

ty <3

AAAAAHHHH we have so much in common! Insane actually

Okay so

I match you with....

Equius Zahhak!!

Okay so first off? Bro is a natural engineer, and loves to build stuff as we know. But I HC that it also ties in with collecting things, little bits and screws and pieces of old toys that he thinks he could use on future projects. When the vulture culture comes into play, he would gladly offer up and old screws or shiny bits he has laying around that he decided would be better off in your collection that sitting in a box lmao

Animal traits! You kind of remind him of a dude version of nepeta. And he loves nepeta. But he also loves you more. Would sit and try and gush over horses with you.

He's intimidating! Which sucks, and he feels bad anytime he accidentally scares you, but no worries! He starts to put little metal tabs on his shoes so they click on the ground, so you can hear him approach! He does try and be gentle, despite his stature.

Believe it or not I think he'd really appreciate alt fashion, because a lot of it has chains and metal puns incorporated into it and he likes the mechanical look of it!

He tries to initiate more physical touch, but as we see in the comic he's not the biggest fan of it...but with work and lots of patience he works up to it!

However he LOVES complimenting you and making little things like robotic birds and steel statues! He loves making you homemade gifts and will always be there to give words of support, even if he's scared of physical support.

Also I love the true Sagittarius/true Aries dynamic, so silly

Him when you:

Thanks for the ask! I hope you liked it :p

[stewy]

Excerpts from Yoko's 'Revolution Chaos' tape (4 June 1968)

This is mostly for my own organization, but I thought people might find it interesting. I can't find the actual tape (I think it was removed from YT because I once heard it there), but here is the full transcript. They couldn't actually hear her, btw. She seemed to be on the back of the studio with a tape recorder on, while they were recording Revolution 1. Trigger warning for psychoanalyzing John Lennon's handwriting!

Andy Warhol and Mario Meyer shot today in New York, I’m so glad that I wasn’t there. Because I would like to be there if I were in New York, oh, but that’s something that I should tell John, it’s so funny Mario used to, because he’s a f*g, I guess I don’t know what it is, but anyway he was very, I think he’s a real f*g, as much as he could as a f*g, I think terribly interested in me and all that so what he does is he would just sort of like touch me on the neck or like on my back or something like that or sort of scratch my arm or something like that when I’m talking to somebody.

***

John: Can you think of anything else?

Paul: No. Just. . .

J: Oh yeah, that’s the end.

P: Yeah, just organ and drums.

J: Should we just tape this?

Y: I wish John was in me right now, inside of me. [...] So, I was just thinking about it. It’s so important that you come inside me, instead of coming in my head or something. You see, and then you say that there’s no difference, but if you understand the difference of that, that’s when you would really start to understand what it means to love somebody it sort of occurred to me that . . . and the other thing is sex, in other words, like just physical sex senses, that the sensual things, but this bed is like all life reaching, reaching each other and giving something. And the fact that you gave me your sperm, I don’t know, probably. At some time of your life you had a situation where you became scared of a straight relationship, of giving to each other and instead of giving to women, you’d rather spit on the sky or shoot it to the sky kind of thing. I mean you said it, that’s like a strange kind of nihilism of kind of a “fuck you all” kind of thing. It’s avoiding, avoiding something. Avoiding communication. It’s like you don’t want to.

***

[...] Nothing that I notice today that I really feel proud of, is that for instance, your handwriting, it’s always been like, all your letters were going backwards, leaning backwards, which means tremendous insecurity (for fuck's sake). But today I’ve seen, that all your letters were leaning forward, not all, but most of them were sort of leaning forward. At least that you’re suddenly starting to, instead of being reticent, starting to become forward and aggressive. Which is like a very normal thing, for men. Their leaning backwards handwriting is typical of, sort of, insecure, terribly insecure high school girl or something like that. It’s very rare to see it in a man, did you know that? And when I saw, when I first saw your handwriting, I was really amazed ‘cause you very rarely see that in a man. And I always felt that I saw your secret there, in something, but now, it’s starting to change, and it’s beautiful. Why, why that insecurity? And the passiveness, paranoia, I hate to say, but I really think that that had a lot to do with, with her, your marriage. Or maybe you were like that, and that’s how your marriage became that. I don’t know, that seems like a long relationship like that, would really screw somebody up. Like I was screwed up. That it could screw up, screw people up, rather. Then again, it could be a good thing. But anyway that handwriting, and your marriage, somehow I felt that sort of an intuitive thing, the first time I saw it, I thought that there was a definite connection.

J: What are you saying?

Y: I’m just saying how I miss you.

J: Well, ladies and gentleman, I also miss her, and it’s a terrible feeling. Alone in a crowded room.

Y: You look so nice when you’ve been playing awhile, and perspiring and everything. It’s looks like you had a drink or something . . . so insecure about something and about. . .

***

Y: [...] And it’s silly because actually all I want to do is to just not say anything. Oh, John, I really miss you, you don’t know how. [singing begins] I don’t know you...

J: Smashing Rooney the steak.

Y: ‘Cause I don’t know you.

J: Oh, no it is too late for me.

Y: ‘Cause I don’t know you.

J: I have been stab-bed in the brass vertebrae.

Y: Who did that?

J: I did it myself.

Y: Don’t you ever do that.

J: I must do it now and then to keep myself in tune.

Y: No, you mustn’t do anything without me.

J: I wasn’t exactly doing it without you. I was just doing it in the corner. Oh, Mother McRae. Excuse me. I must just let myself reek a minute. Because I’m sweating to my boots I’m going to have a look at the photographs of the family. [end of singing]

***

[Insert quote about Paul being a threat had he been a woman, etc, Air signs, etc]

***

John is such a genius. This is the first time that just once in a while, I almost get jealous of his talent, which is really amazing because I was never jealous of any artist. Whenever I get sad about his work, I almost feel like kneeling down and kissing his feet.

[...] you look like a real nervous wreck. You’re a very nervous person, apparently. You looked that way, suddenly I remembered you looked that way when I first came to EMI to pick up some scores, I mean, a manuscript from you, you looked like somebody who was terribly nervous and difficult, and feel like a difficult artist or something. If I had seen you that way, probably, I’d be scared, if I didn’t know you, and all that, if I just meet you that way. I wonder what John really is thinking about. You really look like a tense, nervous person. Why do you look so difficult? Like as if you want to scare a guy or something, I think that’s amazing. Anybody who has some project in their mind to approach you with or something would really be scared with that look. But it’s kind of nice, it’s very masculine [cut] or something. I don’t know how you have that shift of character of very sharp, strong eyes and sometimes very soft and beautiful eyes. Sometimes I don’t know if I’m following you too much. Sometimes I don’t know if I’m looking at you too much and so I haste to go near you. Right now you’re in the other room, and I’m just sort of embarrassed, and I don’t know if I should be coming or not. But you’re in my mind all the time, so I guess that’s what it is. You look so intense. And maybe you’re angry or something with me, I don’t know. So I’m afraid to go near you now.

***

[...] I’m so nervous now because I’m always trying to find out when Cyn is coming back.

P: Jot the melody down.

GM: Can you hear me?

Y: I feel like running out of this room. This is Tuesday, sixth of June, 1968. If anybody in the world would know how I feel now, because I’m the most insecure person in the world right now. Is this what love is? It’s so unfair that you have to suffer so much for loving someone. John is not here, he went out into the hall. I don’t know for what. He’s out for a long time. I think probably he’s calling home, I don’t know. He’s been with her for over a decade and their other child, I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t want to think about it. It’s either that he had a terribly weak character or he was in love to her (well, I'm glad they decided to go with the weak character version! How dare John be in love with anyone but Yoko?). I just don’t want to think about it. I’ve never been with anyone for so long so I wouldn’t know. If I think very hard, then I know, I mean I don’t even think I have to think hard, I just get so jealous about it I almost think I’m going to go insane.

(RIP to your mental health if you read all that, really, I'm so sorry)

[bgs-cave-o-thots]

Can I be greedy and ask for all the Shape Bots questions? 😂 Except for like, 13, and any others you're not comfortable answering/aren't applicable since they're robots. 😂

OTP Asks

Ok so I waited a while for this because I wanted to see who would send in individual numbers and since I've run out of those I'm gonna try to answer All Of Them lol

--

1. Who most initiates PDA?

Cubot, definitely. Orbot gets too embarrassed to initiate much of anything in public, and he always "scolds" Cubot whenever he decides to be a bit too affectionate in public.

2. Any sleep habits either had to get used to?

No, not really? They've basically been around each other their whole lives, I don't think there'd be much in the way of recharging they'd have to adjust to. However, this is a good subject for me to remind everyone that they've canonically slept together (in the literal sense, not the nasty sense) in Sonic Boom.

Darlings, both of them.

3. Jealousy issues?

Not often, and it's less jealousy and more just mild annoyance on Orbot's part just because Cubot gets so easily distracted. He knows that it's hard for Cubot to keep his focus on one thing, but sometimes he really wishes that he could, and that it was on him.

4. What's a Night Out for them?

It can be hard for them to get out of the base when it's not on Official Eggman Business™, so a lot of times their night out becomes a night in. Still, on a rare occasion, they do get out on their own with a little bit of freedom. This could be mostly projecting but I feel like to avoid getting overwhelmed (or being spotted by those who would be unkind to Eggman robots like them) a lot of the time they'll try to go somewhere away from people and buildings for a change. Maybe go out at night and do stargazing and stuff. Cubot would also have a ton of fun trying to catch fireflies. again might just be projecting my love of nighttime, but it's still cute to think about. (I also have various hcs for things they can and can't do physically, for example drinking. I have an AU where Fred the Egg Pawn actually owns a little robo-bar and grill, and they like to go there sometimes when they're up for something more social.)

5. What’s an evening in for them?

I like to think they enjoy themselves a lot when they're able to get away from the Doctor. They're simple robots, a TV date with some snuggles is fine by them, but sometimes one of them will decide to try and whip up something a bit fancier for the other, just for fun. Turn a spare room into a makeshift ballroom and dress up, pretend to be at a fancy restaurant even though they can't eat, things like that. It doesn't always go as planned, but that's part of what makes it fun. And then other times they just say screw it and decide to spend the night being silly like the ridiculous robos they are. :)

6. Double Date? Thoughts? Who?

Ok so I hate when questions are phrased like this bc I can hardly understand them and also I personally never could understand the concept/point of double dates? But if they were to go on a double date I'd imagine it being with another robot couple, first ones that come to mind are Bocoe and Decoe from Sonic X because I ship and adore them as well. Or they were like forced to go on a double date with Eggman and whoever his partner was at the time, like Bowser or sumn idk--

7. Do they want (have) kids?

I don't think they ever really thought about having kids, since they can't have them biologically as robots and no way in hell Eggman would let them adopt, so it never really came to mind. I do have an AU where they did accidentally get a kid, and since they got him they do their absolute best to be good parents bc Axle means the world to them. But before Axle they didn't really give the idea of children much thought.

8. Have an AU thought?

Oh honey so many. I still have the list of shapebot AUs if you want to ask about any more of those, but the one on my mind lately is one I started calling it "Cwispy AU" as a joke bc I've always jokingly referred to 06 Silver's Crisis City with the lava and such as the Ultra Cwispy Timeline. Basically that AU is "Orbot and Cubot are on their own with just the cellar of a completely destroyed base for shelter and are trying to survive in this post-apocalyptic hellscape". I'm working on an animatic for it right now.

9. If they got engaged… who proposed?

This one I'm honestly not sure? I could see it happening both ways, equally awkwardly. I don't think robots can actually get married in the Sonic world, but the bots would definitely hold some sort of ceremony..even if it ended up being like in the back of a supply closet (I saw some art of something like that with them a long time ago, it was kinda funny and cute) or something. I can say that I imagine their wedding rings would be like hex nuts with stones put into them of each other's colors. Rose gold hex nut ring with yellow stone, gold hex nut ring with red stone. Because I think it'd be cute, and these bots don't have access to diamonds (also imo diamonds are kind of a boring stone for their price, id much rather have a sapphire or even moissanite or something for my ring lol). And it wouldn't surprise me if they wore them under their gloves so they didn't get lost or taken.

10. How do they deal with the other’s family?

Well, since they're both built by Eggman and both still owned by him, they kind of just do their best to appease him and run off whenever they get the chance. It's not ideal but what can you do. Also with Metal Sonic, Orbot does his best to try and appeal to him and stay on his good side (see "big bro" - and I could talk about my opinions on how Orbot acted in RotW but that'd be getting off track) while Cubot tries to stay out of his way whenever he's not following Orbot's lead.

--

I'm gonna do more of these in a reblog later and I'll probably tag you once I do so but this post is getting pretty long so here's the first 10-

[aggressive-positivity-network]

How do you think the mercs would react to engineer getting really tired and doing something absolutely idiotic? Like Engie don't lick the soap it won't taste good sweetie (totally not inspired by the fact ive done this same thing while exhausted)

Also your hcs are great!! They all seem super thought out and they're a thrill to read! Your writing is... Ok no word seems sufficient to describe it! It just too good!

Askers like you make my day! Thank you so much! Sorry if this is a little short, but I’m still working on the relationship ones, which take forever to write.

Scout:

“Hey, uh, Engie...buddy...you good?”

“Listen, I’m the only merc around here that does stupid stuff like that...you’re one of the smart guys, remember?”

Pretends to yawn so that Engie will feel more tired and go to bed faster.

When that doesn’t work - Engie doesn’t pay much attention to his surroundings when he’s working - he asks Sniper for help.

Sniper:

“Aw, bloody ‘ell, ‘as he gone into one of his fits again?”

‘Fits’ meaning bouts of creative invention that can last anywhere from several hours to a couple weeks.

Sniper waves a hand in front of Engie’s face, but to no avail.

“Nah, mate, he’s outta this world. All off in his own universe. There’s nothin’ that can bring him out now.”

Suddenly Medic walks by, and the pair practically pull him in to help.

Medic:

“Hm...zhere’s only vun thing that can avaken zhis building beauty!”

Medic wraps his arms around Engineer’s neck. No response.

Head on the shoulder. Nothing.

Chin resting on top of head. Nope.

Tugging on his collar. Still nada.

Finally, Medic uses his secret weapon: the cheek peck.

Engie still doesn’t look up - in fact, Medic has to pull his arm away from almost putting his hand on a sparking wire, something that an alert Engie would never do.

“Ach! Engie! Dummkopf! Vhat are you doing?!”

Suddenly, Spy peeks his head in as he walks by, but Medic grabs him by the tie.

“I need zhis vorktable for my experiment, and ve have all tried our luck. Any bright ideas?”

Spy:

“Why must I always find myself in these situations? Surrounded by idiots, waiting for my assistance.”

A murmur of complaints all around, but no one contradicts him. They still need a pair of fresh eyes.

Spy snaps in front of Engie’s face.

“Laborer? Do you mind coming down to earth so the good doctor can commit his nightly atrocities?”

No answer. Not even a look.

Spy thumps Engineer’s hat several times. Then knocks. Then takes it off completely. Still no reaction.

Spy has been getting increasingly more frustrated, as he has been waiting to unwind all week, and this is keeping him from a glass of scotch and a good magazine.

“Did your Texan weed of a mother never teach you manners? Or did she not know any herself? She most likely had yet to learn her alphabet, much less any sort of etiquette.”

Scout cringed, Sniper pulled his hat over his eyes, and even Medic put a hand on his bonesaw. You never talked about Engineer’s mom. Scout almost got a wrench through his forehead when he walked into Engie’s workshop in the middle of a Yo Mama joke.

This happened to be an exception, because Engie still stared blankly at his project. This infuriated Spy, whose sharp tongue usually had a much bigger impact.

“LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU, YOU SLACKJAWED SCREW MONKEY!”

Spy gave Engie a stinging, backhanded slap.

Engie scarcely stumbled.

Spy roared in rage and walked out, using his cloaking device so he wouldn’t have to bear a walk of shame. He was also holding his raw hand, which was hurt from the slap.

Demo walked in right after, rubbing his eyes and looking really hung over.

Demo:

“Mmph...whasall this, then? Aye...onea those, eh?”

Demo, being the night owl that he is, had seen Engie in his zone before - in fact, he was usually the first to snap Engie out of it.

“Comere, I’ll show ya how it’s done.”

Demo took the empty beer bottle he was holding and cracked Engie over the head with it. It shattered on impact.

“Don’tcha worry, lads, that hard hat ‘a his is made for more than a strong drink.”

Demo laughed at his own joke, then slowly got serious as he realized Engie still wasn’t reacting.

“Lad? Are ya...did anybody check for a pulse?”

Medic walked over and put two fingers on his neck. After a few minutes, his eyes went wide.

“No bloody pulse?! How the hell-!”

Pyro suddenly walked in, holding a bag of gummy bears.

Pyro:

He mumbles excitedly, then goes over to Engie.

She takes a red gummy bear, which are Engineer’s favorite, and holds it out to him.

No response.

Pyro laughs good-naturedly, as if he was joking about how silly Engineer was being. He put the gummy bear in Engineer’s mouth.

It fell out, but Pyro giggled and put it back in again.

It tumbled out once more, and Pyro cocked their head.

This whole process went on a few more times before Pyro decided to tap Engie on the shoulder.

When that didn’t work, he walked over in front of the table to look at Engie’s face, and hopefully get his attention.

Pyro took one look, started, then backed away slowly. After they had gotten a good distance, he ran to Medic and hid behind him, starting to cry.

Sniper translated: “He doesn’t look good...he doesn’t look like Engie...he didn’t even look...did I do something wrong?”

There was a rattling from above, and Soldier popped his head out of the vent and looked around.

Soldier:

“Morning, maggots!”

“It’s ten o’clock, mate...”

“You shut your godamn mouth before I write you up for insubordination!”

Soldier leapt down, took one look at Engie, and grunted.

“Gone A.W.O.L, huh?”

Everyone nodded, albeit unsure.

“I’ll show you landlubbers what we did in the army...”

He very slowly crept up to Engineer, grinning. Everybody took a step back, just in case.

Finally, Soldier pounced, taking Engineer’s hat and replacing it with his own, whooping and laughing as he went back up the vent.

Everyone just stared at each other, and while they were all recovering, Heavy walked in, still in his nightgown.

Heavy:

“Team is all here...what is wrong?”

Everyone started talking at once, but Heavy just held up a hand.

“One at time. Doktor. What is wrong?”

“Engineer doesn’t have a pulse, he hasn’t reacted to stimuli, his facial expression doesn’t change...he is a dead man valking!”

Heavy just chuckled. “Engie just sleepy. Here. Heavy will take him to bed.”

Heavy picked Engineer up by the underarms, lifting him over his shoulder.

Before he knew it, Engineer was falling apart. Arms, legs, body. It all crumbled to the floor in a mix of wires and cogs.

Pure. Chaos.

Everyone was either screaming, crying, looking like they were about to vomit, or were trying to salvage the pieces.

Suddenly, they heard a yawn behind them.

“Well, howdy, y’all!”

Engineer:

After everyone had gotten over the shock and had made a huge hug pile, Engineer explained everything.

The Engie at the desk was a robot with a realistic skin suit on. In the dark and dusty workshop, no one had noticed the difference.

He was actually doing an experiment - something that resembled a “straight face” experiment they had done with children. He wanted to see how people reacted when there...wasn’t any reaction. His hypotheses were mostly correct - except for Soldier, put he was a random variable anyway.

Scout was mildly put off, Sniper and Medic came up with a logical solution, Spy was furious because of his job’s emphasis on reaction, Demo joked around until it wasn’t funny anymore and then just froze, Pyro was very upset, and Heavy tried to physically change the situation.

“It was all real interestin’...but it had to be a blind study. Sorry I had to worry y’all. It’ll never happen again.”

He looked down at his broken robot.

“Especially not with my Engiebot in pieces.”

Engineer told everybody goodnight, apologized one more time, said he’d make it up to them, and then went to his room.

Needless to say, everyone followed Engie to bed that night.

And he had a certain Frenchman to apologize to over a cold-shouldered breakfast.

***************

I’m a writer...can’t you tell? No, but seriously, by the time I realized it was spinning out of control, I had written too much to delete. I know it wasn’t exactly a normal response, but I just couldn’t resist! I just felt a really good story in this one!

Anyway, I’m sorry this took so long! I have an ask blog and a lot of requests coming my way, so I may be a little slower on the upkeep. But a lot of the requests are pretty short, so I should be able to knock them out.

@catbunblue302

[confusedlamp]

Mental Health Strategies

I have dealt with various mental health BS (anxiety, depression, ADHD), and while I haven't gotten it all figured out, I have been dealing with it for well over a decade now. I figured I would make a list of coping mechanisms that have helped me and are worth trying out if you haven't already. None of these things are “magic” (just try this and your brain will be all fixed!),  and obviously not applicable in all situations. I mostly learned these via therapy or from other people struggling with mental illness. This also may or may not be to help me have a list of things written down for when I forget. 

Putting this below a keep reading thing because this got long FAST: 

For depression funks:

-Find a small task you can complete. Wash a dish, throw clothes in the hamper, take out the trash, etc. Something small.

-Take a shower. And try changing clothes. Even if it's in to some pajamas. If you aren't up to showering, try washing your face and maybe wiping down with a wipe. But a change of clothes will still feel better.

-Eat something. Doesn't have to be "healthy." Some food, no matter what it is, is better than no food.

-Can you get outside? Doesn't have to be to excercise. Just sitting on the front steps for a few minutes in the sun.

-Doing something to take care of yourself. Can you brush your teeth? Have a glass of water? Brush your hair? Just pick one thing and so it.

-Plan something. See if you can get a friend to meet you to hang out (or zoom) or maybe for dinner. For yourself, maybe find a movie to go see (post pandemic). Preferably find something that has a set time.

For panics:

- Square breathing. Breathe in for 5, hold for 5, breath out for 5, hold for 5. Repeat.

-There are a ton of meditations on youtube. Search "5 minute meditation" and you'll find a ton of videos.

-After the initial panic is over try calling a friend. If you can't for some reason (sometimes it's 3 am or your friend isn't available), try finding some cat videos on youtube. I highly recommend Cole and Marmalade. Something light that will get your brain on something else.

For Executive Dysfunction:

-Remove steps to putting things away. For awhile in school, I would have a mess of papers that weren't organized or put away because I was trying to use a binder. As silly as it sounds, having to neatly align paper holes or got find a place to punch those holes, would prevent me from putting things away. So I switched to folders. Suddenly I stopped losing things and my papers were organized.

-Bullet journaling. Or rather, I just have a little notebook where I put all my to do lists, grocery lists, project planning, brainstorming, etc. I don't properly Bullet Journal (TM) but I keep all my lists in one spot and it helps.

-To do lists in general. Writing out steps to get something done. Cross things out when you finish them. You get a better sense of accomplishment.

-When executive dysfunction is preventing you from getting out of bed, break it down. Step one, sit up. Step 2, swing legs over side. Step 3 stand up.

-Same with any task. If it seems too overwhelming or you just can't bring yourself to do it, it might be because you are looking at all the steps and feeling it's too much. So just think about the first one.

-Alarms and reminders. I put everything on a calendar in my phone. Google Calendar allows you to set a reminder for events days, weeks, hours, and minutes ahead. You can also set alarms for things like "I know I need to leave at 3 for the appointment, so I am going to set an alarm for 2:45 to start getting ready." Do not rely on yourself to look at the clock. YOU WILL NOT LOOK AT THE CLOCK IN TIME.

-Set the dang alarm clock across the room. That way, you gotta get out of bed to turn it off. Once out of bed, go take any meds, or if you don’t have meds, go do a small morning task. Usually doing this small task is enough to get me awake enough to not get back into bed. If I do, well, at least I have taken my meds. 

Sensory Issues:

- Fitted sweat pants and hiking pants. I can’t stand tight clothing, but I want to look presentable. Sweatpants that taper can still look decent. Travel pants or hiking pants (you can find these at places like REI), basically look like slacks but are made out of stretchy material. They also usually are made out of quick dry material which is nice. 

-Fidget and sensory toys. I really like hedgehog rings which have these little spikes on them I can run my thumb over. Also the tangle. I have a tangle that has a rubber coating that has little bumps on it. What you end up liking might differ, but those are two of my favorite. Also, if anyone gives you shit about these, you can explain “it’s sorta like a stress ball, but instead you [whatever you do with this fidget toy].” 

-Ear plugs. I wear these a lot because I have particular issues with sounds, especially certain ones. I prefer either silicone gummy ones or I like these that are “slim” because they don’t make my ears hurt. You can also get musician ear plugs that are made for musicians to protect their hearing, but still be able to hear tones and what is going on, for when sound is simply too load (also good for concerts). 

For General ADHD things: 

-Work somewhere different. This is a bit limited due to the pandemic currently, but just working at the kitchen table instead of your bedroom can help. In college, I used to go to the library to work. Just the idea that I was going to someplace specific to do a specific task, helped me actually get started. 

-Promise yourself that you will work for 10 minutes. Set an alarm if needed. Usually just starting will make the task seem less intimidating. If 10 minutes is too much, do 5. 

-Cardio. Get your self moving. This is good for a lot of things, but I highly recommend it for before you have to sit down to work on a task, like school work. I personally run, but if that’s not your thing dance, a class, walking, biking, etc. Just whatever you like. 

-Time dependent things are good to get yourself going. Again, this is limited by the pandemic, but for normal times, can you meet a friend for breakfast? Can you schedule your appointment so you have to get to it before you start work? When I was in college, I used to go to morning gym classes before my first class of the day. This got me up and if I was 5 minutes late, it was better to do that for a gym class than a physics class. Bonus because it was exercise and I could focus better on the class. 

-In classes, try to find a notes buddy or study group. That way, if you zoned out a moment, you can ask them for the notes from that section and vice versa. Also, meeting up with them is a great way to have a set time to study. 

For General Anxiety/ Depression: 

-This is going to sound cheesy as fuck, but: Make a list for what you are good at. Things you like about yourself. Things you have accomplished. They don’t have to be super deep, but can be. Do you like your nose? Can you paint your nails well? Are you good at understanding your cat? Are you good at writing? Drawing? Did you overcome a bad test and still manage to pass a class?  If you have a friend or significant other that you are comfortable with, ask them to help maybe. Keep this list for when you feel like shit. 

-Yoga. I’m sorry to put this on here because it seems like the most neurotypical advice, but. I honestly love this shit. If you haven’t given it a shot, there’s a reason why people like it. You don’t have to belong to a gym to try it. I highly recommend Yoga with Adrienne. She has some great beginner videos. 

-Take breaks from social media and news as needed. Seriously. You are a single person and can’t fix everything. Do what you can (share the information, make a donation, join in mutual aid efforts, etc.) but doom scrolling and obsessing won’t help anyone. If you won’t do it for yourself, consider that burning yourself out will make you unable to help later on. 

-Create things. They don’t have to be amazing. Crocheting, knitting, drawing, writing, etc. Having something that you can look at and be like “I made that” is really satisfying. Youtube has some great tutorials for pretty much anything. For drawing, I really like Proko. He has some great videos on drawing faces. But again: IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE GOOD. 

General Resources/ Advice:

-If you are currently in college, most campuses will have groups for counseling and even limited one on one sessions. Usually, these counseling groups are free and the one on one sessions can help you find a counselor nearby. 

-How to ADHD. Seriously I love this youtube channel. She goes over how ADHD affects the brain and has seriously helped me understand it better. 

-The Trevor Project. For LGBTQ teens and youth. They have a hotline and many other resources.  

-If what is stopping you from getting therapy is the idea that you are being dramatic/ are not that bad/ others have it worse: Go get therapy. What are we going to do, find the one person who has it the worst off than anyone and only they are allowed to feel bad and get help? Screw that. Get some help. 

-Remember that there are good things in your future. Where ever you are in life, you have something positive in your future, even if you don’t know it yet. One day, there will be a moment when you look back on the dark times and be so glad you didn’t give up. 

-Obligatory: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  (1-800-273-8255). This is national suicide prevention lifeline, for the US. They can help. 

-https://www.crisistextline.org/ For when you don’t like phone calls, try texting instead. Has US, Canada, UK, and Ireland numbers. 

[imaginesmai]

Peter Parker - Autistic Love

I don’t know where I read that comic! Peter is autistic, and I fell in love with the idea. I think superheroes can also be human, and suffer from this type of conditions. So here it is, my humble fic about Autistic! Peter. Probably is not the best, and I tried to make it as accurate as possible with the little knowledge I have about autism. Enjoy!

Plot: there is something weird about Peter, but that doesn’t make him any less lovable. 

Honestly, it wasn’t that noticeable. You couldn’t have known it the first time you met him, neither the second or the third. It took a lot of attention, or in your situation a huge crush, to notice it. The fidgeting when he thought no one was looking, the awkwardness not only around your classmates but also in the supermarket. You had thought that the bouncing movements were because of his anxiety, and that his constant blabbering about nothing was fear of silence. If you thought about it, it was all noticeable, and anyone could have picked up that Peter Parker was different. His classmates thought about him as a strange kid who didn’t have many friends. And it took you longer than what you wanted to admit that it wasn’t the truth.

First time you noticed, was when you were paired up in a mission together. You had to stop a mugging in a central bank, something easy for a boy who could stick to the ceiling and a girl who could control electricity.

“Okay, so, you remember the plan?” you asked softly, hidden in one of the vents conductors. You were ready to step up any second then, the wristbands that prevented you from using your electricity laying in the ground.

Peter was suited up beside you, and when he didn’t answer you turned to look at him. In his hands, laid a small cord of your suit, blue and black. It was hanging loose from your hip, long enough so that Peter could have taken it without realising that it was yours, or for you to notice that he had it. His fingers were twisting and untwisting it quickly, and he was looking ahead of you.

“U-um, Peter?”

Trying to understand what had him looking so concentrated, you looked to where he had his eyes fixed, and saw one of the thieves playing with a gun. He was tapping it on a desk, following some weird rhythm that had him moving his head. The rest of them were taking the money out of the safe-deposit and watching over the hostages, some civilians and two workers. Still, Peter didn’t care about them; only about the slightly misplaced rhythm that was making his head hurt.

You worried that something might had happened to him, so you made your first mistake with the cute brown haired boy; that led you to notice that something was off with him.

“Hey, Peter, I can do it-“

The hand that you had placed on his shoulder was quickly thrown off, and he stumbled away from you. You didn’t have time to think about that, though, because as soon as he moved from his place, the whole structure came crashing down and your cover was blown away.

That day, you finished the work neatly and even got to spend a few hours with Peter watching a film. Though he was distant and reluctant at being close to you. As you went to sleep that night, you wondered if the spider boy had more secrets to hide.

-

After the first time, you found yourself in the same situation more times. It made you wonder if Peter suffered from any type of abuse, but other than the usual teasing at school, you found none. You let it pass by until the second incident happened.

An habit that Peter had that made you wonder if he even wanted to be in the same room as you.

You had just reached the compound after an stressing day in high-school. Probably, it had to do with the fact Peter wasn’t there, and without him you didn’t like listening to boring teachers. The usual smile that you wore came back to your face when you saw him sitting cross legged in front of his notebook.

Tony had told you that the boy wasn’t feeling well, and had decided to stay home for a few days. So, as carefully as you could, you sat on the couch in front of him and called his name.

“Hey Pete” you said, heart jumping when your eyes met. “I-Tony told me that you were sick, and I… was wondering if you felt any better?”

“Yeah” he mumbled, looking back down to his homework. Just then, you noticed the earbuds that were still on. Your frowned when he made no intention of taking them off to keep the conversation with you, but didn’t mind it since you were too excited about finally being with him. A day without Peter was the worst of your pains.

“What are you doing?”

Usually, that question led to a whole speech about chemistry, robotics or whatever he was working on. Peter loved to talk about his homework, even more if the person who was listening showed a real interest; and since Tony pointed that when he noticed your crush on his ‘kid’, you tried to do so. That time, Peter gripped harder his pencil.

“Stuff”

“Oh” you chuckled awkwardly, your smile dropping a bit. “What kind of stuff? I bet really smart one”

Peter didn’t bother to answer that time, only came back to his previous sentence, almost tearing the paper apart with how hard he was pressing the pencil on it. It was silent for a second until you realised he wasn’t answering you question. Moving your disappointment to the back of your mind, you tried again.

“School was boring without you” you told him. “I’m trying to finish the physics project on my own, but I don’t really understand the entropy or the microstates of it. Maybe you could help me? I’ve tried with Ned, but he’s as clueless as I am, so…”

In Peter’s brain, your words were nothing but a distant and annoying buzz. He had stayed in the compound because his senses had gone mad the previous night. He had begged Tony not to tell you anything, too embarrassed for not being able to function properly. Only imagining you looking at him with a frown and backing away like everyone did made his anxiety worse, and he found himself opening and closing his hands.

He knew that he should have just taken the object that he so carefully hid on his pencil case; once again, you were there and he was too embarrassed about it. So he tried to control himself until it was too much, and he screwed it even though he didn’t want to.

“Shut up!” Peter shouted when you let out a loud laugh, his hands flying to his hair and tugging sharply. His eyes became glossy and he wished he was back in his room.

“Yeah” was all you could say, too astonished. “Yeah, I’m sorry, I was just excited because I didn’t see you today and-“

You hadn’t seen Peter move so fast in his life. The pencil fell to the floor with a thud and his feet touched the ground a second after, running out of the living room without looking back. The sound of his door closing took you out of your haze, and you couldn’t stop the lump in your throat.

The first tear rolled down your cheek as you were sitting in the couch, and by the time you were buried under the safety of your covers, you had no more tears to share.

-

The third time something like that happened was on your first ‘date’. Actually, you had just gotten your first salary with the avengers work and you both wanted to do something together. Actually, you wanted to do something together with him, and he just nodded along, too shy to even give you a verbal response. Happy had been in charge of driving you to the restaurant you had chosen for the night.

“…and Clint said he was coming too, so it seems like a good idea to me” Peter finished, his hands fidgeting on his lap. “Natasha said that-“

“Peter, we’ve-“

“-it’s not that good, because they might pull pranks at me. I don’t really know what a prank is. What is a prank? Whatever, it can’t be something that bad to-“

“Hey kid-“

“-cancel the beach day. I’m pretty excited. I’ve never been into a private beach, did you know that? Or a beach, matter of a fact.”

“Peter, we’re here”

“But I’ve seen the commercials, with the pictures and all, so I guess it’s good.”

Peter kept talking about the beach and how amazing it would be to spend a whole weekend there. Meanwhile, you tried to catch his attention two times more, and even Happy rolled down the window that kept him on the front. It had been more than five minutes since the car stopped in front of the restaurant, but Peter didn’t seem to notice it; neither your attempts to talk to him.

He was rocking slightly side to side in a slow and steady movement, muttering more than talking.

It took you, exactly, fifteen minutes and five seconds to get him to realize of his surroundings. Once he did, he muttered a quick apologize and got out of the car, urging you to do the same.

The date went well. You had fun, Peter had fun and you decided that you liked the boy even more. Still, the always doubt that you were missing something with him lingered in your mind.

There were also weird things about Peter Parker that didn’t involve you. As his old mask, that was mostly black and impossible to see with. The team found it weird that Peter wore it sometimes around the compound, hearing and seeing them perfectly but preferring the comfort that came with it. Or his completely clueless behaviour with the sarcasm. You had seen him start crying because of a silly comment about how you wished a bus would ran you over; or how he actually shut up when you told him Shut up, you’re kidding!

Sure, you had the facts. You knew that Peter had to drink the same orange juice every morning, with the blue straw. That, in the common room, he had is spot saved every night with a certain cushion. And you had also noticed the small objects that you seemed to find every time you walked in a room. Peter Parker was a brilliant kid; smart, handsome and cute, not to mention that he could sweep any girl off her feet. In your eyes, he was perfect; so you didn’t understand why he asked if you were sure about hanging out with him every two hours, why he slept in the right side of the bed with his pinky finger extended towards the door, and why it took you so long to realise that the love Peter Parker was giving you was the most special one.

Until one day, he just blurted it out.

-

“I’m autistic”

If you hadn’t been sitting close to him, you probably wouldn’t have heard him. Contact was something you had worked with him over the past months, to the point you could sit beside him and, if he felt like it, Peter would let you rest your head on your shoulder. That was how you were sitting in that moment, both of you watching a documentary of space while eating blueberries.

It was as if the puzzle of Peter Parker was finally complete, and you couldn’t be surprised. Everything came into place with those words, every detail that made him the way he was. You didn’t tear your eyes from the TV, just made the risky move to link one of your hand through his arm.

He tensed, you heard his breathing fastening, but didn’t push you away. Instead, he slumped down and relaxed in way you had never seen. A shy hand made its way to yours, and he gripped one of your fingers. You had to keep down your smile not to scare him away, but Peter didn’t seem to have any problem.

“You’re – you’re not gonna say anything?” he talked again, and his voice was much less lower.

“No”

You didn’t know how to act around him most of the times, but it seemed that you had gotten the right answer, because Peter surprised you by pressing his lips against your line of hair. It was you who stopped breathing then, and Peter chuckled. Probably, it was the most intimate moment you had ever had since you had known him.

“I think I love you”

You looked up and found Peter already looking at you. He wasn’t avoiding eye contact like usually, but looking right into your eyes, even if that had him blushing. You didn’t have to look to know that his left hand, the one that wasn’t gripping yours, was tapping in a certain rhythm on his knee, or that inside his head he was repeating the every digit of the number pi to calm down.

Your relationship with Peter wasn’t going to be a normal one, that was for sure. He didn’t like touching or kissing, even if he made the exception every once in a while for you. You couldn’t leave the Tower without at least three of his ‘toys’, because he could break down in an overcrowded place and you could lost him. And you had to learn how to cook in a certain way if you wanted Peter to eat whatever you made.

But, Peter was a superhero, so it was never meant to be a normal relationship. He wore a spandex suit and could attach to walls. Threw webs and swung from place to place when he was bored. And, most important, he opened to you when every cell of his body was screaming at him.

You took another risk, because you thought that another more was alright. Leaning forward, you caught his lips against yours in a small kiss. Peter gasped, his eyes became wide and hand stopped moving.

“I know I love you”

Peter didn’t have to think twice, and leaned in for another kiss.

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[storybookprincess]

Hi Liv! (: I'm in need of ur Tohru Honda-esque ‘big sister advice’!! It would be great if u cld give me a second opinion, if ur able! If not, that’s fine!

Rn, I’m doing online classes. It’s flexible + allows me more freedom to dawdle in fandom/have time w relatives…the end of SEM1 is approaching + I need to decide whether or not I’ll continue these virtual classes/start in-person learning again (in January). I’m conflicted. I enjoy being able to pace myself/not feel as stressed as I was b4, but I don’t think I’m trying as ‘hard’ as I shld? I don’t do projects/research outside of lessons + the absence of having peers to connect w…is making my mental health foggy. I sort of do wk half-heartedly, but still turn in everything on time + have high marks, so I’m not suffering academically lol. Still!

I don’t want 2 make the wrong decision & screw up my future! I miss my friends & walking down the halls. I used 2 complain abt going to school/dealing w the workload/business/drama…so why do I long for it now? It’s the feels vs. being practical.

I’m afraid 2 go back to in-person, smth also hindering my decision (& smth I’m struggling to admit). In previous years, I’ve been known as the ‘smart kid’ in the honors track. I’m worried abt what people will think of me…& that I’ll be seen as ‘other’. Will I be able to transition/keep my grades up? I’ll probably b placed in the regular track to help w the adjustment, but I’m still anxious. Shld I continue w online → I might switch to another program (one that has a Latin class I’m interested in + more detailed curriculum…unlike independent study) & stick it out? Or shld I go back to in-person?

Thx for reading this essay-of-an-ask. I hope ur December is going okay + the weather where ur @ is nice! <3 You inspire me to improve in writing and being more positive!

hello my friend!!!! first, thank you for your well wishes in this lovely ask!! and ofc i'm so honored you came here for some advice!!! i'd be happy to share my two cents, although *insert obligatory disclaimer about how i'm not a counselor or therapist or academic adviser & just a well meaning internet person & thus everything i say should be taken with a grain of salt*

so obviously the decision to return to in person vs remain in online school is a very personal one & i therefore don't feel i should just tell you what to do. instead, i'll offer a few things to think about:

1. the basics--what is your vaccination status, your district's policy on masks, and your own pre-existing health risks, if any?

this is all pretty straightforward stuff to answer, but i'd feel wrong leaving it out. if you are unvaccinated, are at a moderate to high risk for serious health complications from covid, and/or are in a school that doesn't enforce masks or contact tracing, you'll want to give those factors some serious consideration. obviously your health is the #1 priority in all of this

2. okay, onto the actual subject of your ask!! first, you'll want to weigh the burden on your mental health of being isolated at home versus the burden of the stress of being in school

in general, i think most students' mental health is much, much better when interacting with their peers on a daily basis. at our core, we're social creatures, and isolation truly wreaks havoc on our mental and physical wellbeing. there's a reason you find yourself missing school--seeing your friends and peers and teachers every day & getting to interact with them is as critical to your mental wellness as adequate sleep, water, and food. it's not silly or impractical at all!! it's the way we function as a species

however, that being said, if you're facing bullying, social ostracization, extreme academic stress, or other adverse experiences in school, you might find you feel better at home, and that's definitely something to take into consideration. so i'd encourage you to think about an average day at home versus an average day going to school. not the absolute worst or best days--just an average one. in which situation do you feel better? that might help with your decision

3. while i was initially just posing questions, this i can say with confidence--it's extremely unlikely anyone else is going to give more than a moment's thought to which track you start back at school in

a big part of adolescence is the persistent belief that others are observing & forming judgments about you & your behaviors. seriously, it's called the imaginary audience & it's a natural, healthy, and nearly universal stage of development. but the truth of the matter is that all of your peers are way, way too caught up in themselves to spare you much of a thought

of course your friends think and care about you. of course that one classmate appreciates when you always are there to loan them a pen. of course the new kid feels happy when you smile & wave to them in the hall. but short of those sorts of things where a person either has a strong relationship with you or you do something that affects them directly, the majority of people just do not care what anyone else is doing basically ever. except in rare circumstances, no one will judge what track you start back into because they've got their own things to think about. i wouldn't let that worry cloud your judgment, and i'd remind yourself over & over that the imaginary audience is just that--imaginary

i hope this was able to give you a bit of food for thought!! i trust you to make the right choice for you, but please know that whatever you decide, it's not going to be the singular make or break decision for your future. there will be plenty of other choices you'll make--some without even realizing it--that will have far, far bigger effects, so please don't stress too much. hang in there & know i'll be rooting for you!!!! xo

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Cream and Two Sugars- A McChapel fic

~~

Sickbay was quiet, something he would never say aloud due to the infamous rule of "Never say it's quiet because it soon won't be". They'd done all the physicals, the check-ups and the shots, in fact, he was quite surprised at how quickly they could get work done with a day away from emergencies and a crew that would cooperate. 

Leonard was trying to get some work done, trying being the opulent word. Christine had just come back from the labs, where she'd been working on some project just to keep up her skills from the long lost days of her scientific career. 

Her hair was up today, he could see the lack of tension in her neck. She was behind him now and whistling a tune to herself as she wrote up her findings. 

He tried to look back at his PADD to read the report but the words muddled together into the same scribbled nonsense. She stood up behind him and grabbed his mug, her perfume swirled around his head. He gulped.

"Len," She was the only one allowed to call him that. "Coffee?"

"Yeah, but without all that cream and sugar shit you put in yours," 

"I have my tastes and you have yours,"

He scoffed, "Taste's one thing, masking that taste is another,"

The mugs clicked in her hand as she placed them under the duel-stream coffee maker inset into the wall. She started to hum just as she replied, "Just because you have to consume everything as bitter as your soul, doesn't mean I do,"

With that he shot up, discarding the stylus onto his desk as he rushed across the room to her side. He heard her breath catch in her throat as his warming cologne, her floral perfume and the steaming coffee scents all mixed. 

Christine had held his interest for a few months now and he had a sneaking suspicion that she did too. He knew there was a possibility she didn't, that her heart still belonged somewhat to Spock. But now the first officer was wholeheartedly in love with the Captain he thought he might have a chance.

"I think we both know my soul ain't as bitter as my coffee," He made sure his words stroked the exposed skin of her neck.

"I don't know, there's little evidence to say otherwise," 

He feigned shock, "Little evidence, have you ever seen me being kind to a child, or one o'those ensigns barely out of the Academy. I think you'll find that I am a very considerate and gentle person-"

She started to prepare her coffee when he turned her around to look deeply in her blue eyes. They gulped in unison and smiled. Both of them knew they were being silly, all these comments and the severe lack of personal space between them.

"Well, you could've had me fooled,"

She leant in and closed her arms around his chest, taking his scent in with deep breaths. He returned her embrace but held back slightly, wanting to nuzzle and kiss her neck, rub circles into her back and hold her tight enough to never let her go. 

"Come on Leonard, show me this gentle side of yourself you're so proud of," She said.

She pulled her head back and saw him pull away when she leant in to kiss him. That fiery thrill in her stomach dissipating immediately. Had she been wrong? Maybe she'd missed the signs or let her infatuation mask reality?

"Leonard, did I read this wrong?" 

He stood a few steps away when she reached for him. His own fire turned sour, almost purple as guilt became the fuel.

"No, I-"

"No? Then why are you pushing me away? We both want this, what's stopping us?"

He didn't reply. All she got was a look of despair, a sad longing in his eyes. She'd waited for Roger to show her she was truly worthy of devotion but he couldn't. His research was his devotion, never her. Spock had caught her eye and her will but he too had a reason, although a much more valid and understandable reason, not to return her feelings. She couldn't be rejected again, not after she'd been given a whiff of Leonard's splendorous love.

"Is it Starfleet? Because I don't care about them, I've always told you that. They may have trained me as a nurse but they can't control who I share my affections with," She still got no reply. "Perhaps because you're my boss? Well we both know that you've never treated me as your subordinate, everyone is in this sickbay is equally as needed and equally as busy, that's what you always say,"

He shook his head and clenched his hands. His body tensed, he was holding himself back. 

"Then what? I know the looks we've shared mean something, the jokes and he touches. So if you're not going to do something about it then I deserve to get a reason why!"

And with that, he exploded, "Because I'm ten years your senior! I've had time to live and screw up and train and have kids and be married and get divorced and chase the possibilities and you're just getting to the good part,"

"You're getting to the part where you might start experimenting with people differently, you know what you like but you want to know how you like it. You're right in the sweet spot of having all the opportunities to get promoted and train to get whatever role you choose. None of that should include settling with a crotchety old coot who doesn't know if he's gonna stay in Starfleet or go home or go somewhere else entirely." 

He stepped into her body again and took a moment to caress her face. She shuddered under his hand, letting herself relax and close his eyes, listen to the sounds of his voice. 

"I can't offer you stability, I can't offer you a willingness to go off gallivanting to who knows where. I've felt trapped in a relationship before and I don't want you to realise when you're my age that you wasted your time on a crush that got too deep when you could've been out realising who you are,"

She held onto his hand and moved it from her face. They looked away from themselves, distracting themselves withdrawing abstract shapes on the backs of their palms. A rushing blush flooded her cheeks, and his too when she checked.

Why couldn't he accept that she wanted him? Was he that lacking in self-confidence or had someone taught him wrongly over years of disagreements?

"How do you know what I'll want in ten years? And why do you get to say what I should do in my thirties," She knocked his forehead with hers and lowered her volume so only he could hear it. "I've done my experimenting, I've had my major bad relationship and my heartbreaking unrequited love. Can't we have this?"

Their hands broke apart as she ran her hands over his chest. He was lean, not too muscular and not too thin. His scrubs were smooth over her hands as she lifted their heads and prepared their lips to kiss.

"Why can't we have this? Who told us we couldn't?"

"No one,"

Their eyes locked and everything internally stopped, dropping to the floor as her head floated just within her grasp for her to pull herself back together so she could truly enjoy this. 

"Then why don't we give it a try, Len," They chuckled lowly at the nickname. "Why don't we try?"

She closed the gap and everything snapped back into place again. Her thoughts flew out of her head. His hands drew across her waist, running through the few loose hairs falling out of her bun and holding her still with a single grip.

They broke but dove back in. She'd never had something like this before. It wasn't passionate, she didn't have the urge to rip their clothes off and truly discover each other right there in the empty sickbay. Instead, it was home. It was warm blankets and old holofilms, family recipes and days spent in bed as snow fell outside.

He hummed as she pulled away to lay her head on his shoulder and lazily stroke the creases in his undershirt. They stood breathless for a moment before she whispered.

"How about we have a proper date?"

"Sounds like a good idea, how about twenty hundred hours in the mess hall on deck eight?"

"Deck eight? But no one goes there,"

He gave her that charming smile and her stomach swooped. "Exactly, no one goes there,"

They met in the middle again and fell into a routine. Her tongue flashed against his bottom lip just as he broke off and twisted his head to plunge in again. His hands grabbed a hunk of her dress in one hand as they bent slightly and bumped into the counter.

"Ehem, doctor,"

They turned with a gasp to see the Captain and the First Officer at the door to sickbay. Jim had that goofy smile on his face and Spock simply raised an eyebrow.

"I was going to say were you listening to Uhura's announcements, but you clearly were occupied," He made a signal for Bones to follow him. "We have a possible concussion on the bridge, come along,"

Leonard gave a wave to Christine and rubbed his face a few times in a failed attempt to hide the raging red flush on his face. She merely laughed and sipped her coffee as he left sickbay.

"Captain, did you get McCoy? Chekov says he's feeling drowsy," Uhura's voice said through Jim's communicator.

"Yes, we have him now, on our way up, Lieutenant,"

"Where was he Captain, I was beginning to think my transmissions weren't going through,"

"Oh not to worry, Lieutenant, Doctor McCoy was just having a meeting with his nurse," He said with a grin just as he collapsed to the floor after tripping over Leonard's outstretched foot.

"Oh sorry Captain, did I trip you up?" He said, changing his tone from joking to serious when he added. "And how about we start acting professionally, you know, how we're meant to?"

Spock gave one of his ghosts of a smile and stated simply, "That seems like far too great of a task for you Doctor, considering how you were just acting with Nurse Chapel,"

Leonard made a mental note to add more security on his office door just as he stepped onto the bridge and caught as woozy Chekov in his arms.

So, I wrote this in one night after having a day of major McChapel feels. Also, Christine is born in 2237 in TOS? I always thought she was closer to Bones' age but I guess not. I hope you enjoyed this, tell me if you did!