#ancients they're so stupid about this honestly

[xysidhequeen]

In your Red Knight AU, do you think the rest of the family set up a betting pool on who confess first?

More questions! Yay!

Okay, I did answer a question like this on ao3, so here's the answer:

Sam: Has bet that they literally will not confess until one or both is on the brink of literal actual final death

Tucker: Bet that Jason will confess first (he knows his best friend. He does. Which is why he is not betting on him)

Jazz: Did not place bets, thats so wrong!

She bet on Jason confessing on accident first. Then, him trying to cover it up and brush it off, then panicking and throwing together a novel worthy date in under an hour to 'officially make his intentions known'.

The ghosts have not placed bets because none of them actually see anything wrong with the pining. When dealing with immortal beings, their concept of how long it is appropriate to pine (or court) is skewed. For them its basically been like. A week. They also all still see them as 🥺bebes🥺 and don't really fully compute them actually dating and things.

[suzukiblu]

Day six of fic NaNoWriMo, obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon.

"You're bluffing," the thief says flatly.

"And you're fucking stupid if you think this is the play that's getting you out of here," Kon snorts, tapping a foot against the floor. "C'mon, man, give it up. I've got plans tonight." 

"Use the artifact!" the alleged "Mark" yells at the thief holding it. 

"Right!" said thief says, then . . . pauses, and looks embarrassed. "How do I . . . do that?" 

Kon looks incredibly unimpressed. Tim empathizes. Deeply. 

"You guys need a minute there?" Kon asks, raising an eyebrow. 

"Shut up!" Mark snaps at him. "Just use it, Lisa!" 

"I thought you said no names–" 

"Use it!" 

"Uh, right!" 

The thief chucks the little clay goat at Kon. Tim is genuinely embarrassed for this entire crew. 

Kon catches the goat one-handed, which is kind of a stupid idea, but letting it smash on the floor admittedly wouldn't look great. People over property, obviously, but Kon also historically has issues with property damage and letting the bad guys smash up ancient artifacts is not the best plan in general anyway. Especially given how often said ancient artifacts have ghosts or curses or apocalypses locked inside them. 

"Lisa!" the thieves all yell in horror.

"Was this the whole plan?" Kon asks, making a show of inspecting the goat. "Like, was this it? I can come back later, if you're still cooking on that."

Tim muffles a laugh with a snort. Kon definitely caught it, though, judging by his smug smirk. 

"Shut up, wannabe!" the thief still holding a gun to Tim's head snarls, which reminds Tim he should be pretending to care about the gun currently being held to his head. Honestly, he would in Gotham, but the only way this moron is shooting anybody is by accident. 

. . . admittedly, that is a concern, given the trigger discipline issue. Hm.

"Killing me would probably count as felony murder, just so you know," Tim mentions, glancing around the thieves. "Which you could all be charged with, not just whoever actually shot me. Plus I'm pretty sure stealing objects of cultural heritage from a museum is a federal crime."

He's completely sure of all that, actually, for obvious reasons, but he has to at least pretend to be a civilian here. Like, some effort needs to go into that illusion, if for no other reason than to avoid a Bat-lecture from Bruce or, worse, a Bat-"I'm not mad, just disappointed" from Dick. 

Or, worst, Alfred might make disapproving shortbread instead of approving jammy dodgers for post-patrol tonight. That'd be really unfortunate. Tim could really use an approving jammy dodger tonight. He's already going to have to write up a very annoying incident report of this situation as it is, and also deal with the mortification of getting his neck saved by a Super. There is no dignity in that. At all. 

He is definitely never telling the team his secret identity. At least not until he's absolutely positive Kon hasn't inherited any of Superman's eidetic memory, anyway. He's ninety-nine percent sure he hasn't, but that last percent is a definite concern right now. 

"No one asked your opinion, brat!" Mark snaps, though a few of the other thieves now look extremely uneasy. Tim makes another mental note about their crew's obvious lack of prep time and general planning and continues to be embarrassed for them. Museum robberies in Gotham are themed events with careful research and preparation involved, and frankly usually involve more thoughtful effort than whatever gala they may or may not be crashing did. Smash and grab is for convenience stores and small-timers. And these guys are definitely small-timers, but this is equally definitely not a convenience store.

Metropolis is so weird. Why anyone even bothers doing petty crime in it at all is beyond Tim. Maybe they're just banking on Superman being more concerned with natural disasters and alien invasions and rescuing cats from trees, which is a valid strategy. Same theory as splitting up and making a cohesive group into multiple targets.

"He has the idol!" Lisa hisses, glaring at Kon like she's not the one who threw it at him to begin with. Tim gets a gun barrel jammed into his temple again. He has no idea why Trigger Discipline: What Not To Do thinks that's, like . . . a productive thing to do. At this rate he's going to get a bruise or something.

Well, he's not actually doing it hard enough to hurt, admittedly, though Tim does keep expecting it to. The guy looks like he's putting his back into it, but the impacts continue not to actually hurt, so Tim supposes he's just trying to put on a show here. 

Well, at least he's putting in some effort, Tim supposes. That's something. 

"I really do have plans tonight, you know," Kon reminds them, raising an eyebrow at the thieves again. 

"I would appreciate you delaying those, actually," Tim mentions. "If you don't mind, I mean." 

"Oh, yeah, don't sweat it, dude," Kon says, waving him off. "These people are annoying but I'm not gonna ditch out on you here, that's not your fault." 

"Don't ignore us!" one of the unnamed thieves yells. "And give the idol back!" 

"I have no idea why you would expect me to do that," Kon says. 

"I'll shoot!" the thief holding Tim threatens, jamming the gun barrel into his head again. 

"I mean, I'm pretty sure that dude was right about the felony murder thing, so maybe don't?" Kon says, inspecting the little clay goat again. "Hm. This thing is actually kinda cute." 

"It is, isn't it," Tim agrees. "I thought it looked like a kid's toy."

"Oh yeah, I can see that," Kon says, squinting assessingly at it. "Like those chunky toddler ones?" 

"Yeah, like those," Tim confirms with a nod. "Fisher-Price, Duplo, that kind of thing." 

"I'll take your word on that one, man, my 'toddler' stage only lasted about half a day and I was sedated for it," Kon replies in amusement. Tim seethes internally and thinks very uncharitable thoughts about Cadmus. 

"I said I'll shoot!" the thief holding him says furiously, tightening his arm across Tim's neck. It's still not actually enough to hurt, but again, Tim appreciates seeing a little more effort. "Give us the idol, you stupid brat!" 

"I'm trying to help you out here," Kon says, looking exasperated. "You're just making shit worse for yourself the longer you keep this up. Put down the gun and let the guy go, you'll get a way lighter sentence." 

"Fuck you!" the thief shouts. "The power of the idol will protect us!" 

"The idol that I am currently holding, you mean?" Kon says, hefting it meaningfully. "The one that is in specifically my possession and not yours?" 

Tim does understand that talking people down is the preferred approach and Kon can't actually super-speed this problem away, but Kon could at least pretend to be taking this seriously. From his perspective, there's a civilian hostage with a gun to their head and an angry criminal with their finger on the trigger, but he's acting like there isn't any danger in the situation at all.

Tim gets the posturing thing and the general "cooler than thou" attitude Kon likes to present, but it's definitely not making any of the thieves calm down. Like, not at all is it making any of the thieves calm down. 

This incident report is going to be very annoying to write. 

"It's not yours!" Lisa shrieks at him. 

"You literally threw it at me," Kon says. "I only have it because you threw it at me. Also pretty sure it's not yours either, given all the screaming alarms and broken glass and the smashed-in wall I am currently standing in the wreckage of."

Tim starts wondering if maybe he should revisit his "tripping" plan. He doesn't really want to pull any Robin-esque moves in front of Kon, but also dying would really fuck up all that hard work he's put into being Bruce's emotional support sidekick. Also two dead Robins in a row could not possibly end well. Especially in such a stupid way. Especially in Metropolis. 

"You don't even know what you're holding, you idiot!" Lisa fumes.

"A toddler toy, I thought we established," Kon says. "'Doopler' or something?"

"Duplo," Tim corrects, internally calculating tripping angles. 

"That one, yeah," Kon amends. "Doppo." 

Tim, resignedly, thinks his determined commitment to pointlessly fucking up is adorable. Also still hates Cadmus and has the irrational urge to buy him a teddy bear or something, although Kon would definitely just think he was fucking with him if he did.

Maybe he could just smuggle one into his room and disavow all knowledge of its existence. That's an option. 

"Give us the idol now!" the thief holding Tim snarls, his face twisting in rage. 

"Yeah, no," Kon says. 

"You little–!" the thief starts to yell, and then his trigger finger slips. Tim knows this because the gun goes off right next to his ear. 

And right against his temple. 

Half the room screams and the thief yells and drops the gun, recoiling in horror. It goes off again as it hits the floor and a bullet shatters a historically-significant vase the way one should have shattered Tim's personally-significant skull. 

What the fuck?

"Shit, sorry, that was probably kinda loud," Kon says apologetically, wincing a little but otherwise looking completely unphased by all of that. Tim blinks, very slowly, and attempts to restore his resting heart rate. It's not a particularly successful attempt.

"Yeah, kinda," he says.

"Sorry, sound waves are harder to block," Kon apologizes, pointing at his own ear with his free hand, and Tim remembers the other's total lack of concern for any threat to civilian life this whole time and realizes that was because, from Kon's perspective, there wasn't any actual threat.

Huh. 

Well, that explains why neither the gun barrel nor the being choked thing actually hurt at any point, doesn't it.

"Oh," Tim says, looking down at the floor that they are, in fact, all still standing on. "Tactile telekinesis?"

"You've heard of it?" Kon says, looking pleased. 

"Once or twice," Tim says, managing not to say it too dryly. Kon looks even more pleased. "I didn't know you could use it like that, though." 

"Practice makes perfect," Kon replies smugly.

[y-rhywbeth2]

Gods & Clergy: Shar

Link: Disclaimer regarding D&D "canon" & Index [tldr: D&D lore is a giant conflicting mess. Larian's lore is also a conflicting mess. You learn to take what you want and leave the rest]

Religion | Gods | Shar | Selûne | Bhaal #1 | Bhaal #2 | Mystra | Jergal | Bane #1 | Bane #2 | Bane #3 | Myrkul | Lathander | Kelemvor | Tyr | Helm | Ilmater | Mielikki | Oghma | Gond | Tempus | Silvanus | Talos | Umberlee | Corellon | Moradin | Yondalla | Garl Glittergold | Eilistraee | Lolth | Laduguer | Gruumsh | Bahamut | Tiamat | Amodeus | The rest of the Faerûnian Pantheon --WIP

And back to collecting lore on the evil deities! There's... a lot of information on Shar, so honestly this isn't even all of it just most(?) of it. Most of it isn't relevant anyway...

Overview: What if depression was a religion?

Clergy: If you don't have shit like depression and cptsd you're about to, courtesy of the Nightsinger! Society? Burn it all!

Nightcloaks / Nightbringers: Memory wiping. Whips. Making creepy man-shaped things of pure darkness.

Shar: Don't look her in the eye. Wear earplugs when she speaks. Don't let her kiss you. Avoid the talking severed heads and the tentacles... actually, just avoid this ancient eldritch horror altogether.

-

"Reveal secrets only to fellow members of the faithful. Never follow hope or turn to promises of success. Quench the light of the moon whenever you find it, and hide from it when you cannot prevail. The dark is a time to act, not wait. It is forbidden to strive to better your lot in life or to plan ahead except when directly overseen by the faithful of the Dark Deity. Consorting with the faithful of good deities is a sin except in business dealings or to corrupt them from their beliefs. Obey ranking clergy unless it would result in your own death." "Darkness is your cloak and your spur to action. Strike down the moon and those who serve it, and work against laws and law keepers, rulers and the powerful, by corrupting them and sewing dissension. Weave discord through secrets and rumours and falsehoods, so that all that is now mighty shall in time be swept away, and all that will still remain is in the darkness of Shar. Work in secret when necessary, obey your superiors in the Night Church without question or defiance, and give your life when Shar deems it needful, for you will reap her dark reward." - Shar's Dogma

The interesting thing about Shar, for all her intrinsic hatred of existence, is that she needs people - specifically "she feeds on [people's] suffering." Literally. She eats it. When she consumes their grief and misery, the sudden void of negative emotion causes a temporary surge of euphoria. Due to this relief, many people turn to "Shar's embrace."

Sharrans believe that by following Shar faithfully they will eventually reach an enlightened state beyond all suffering, however all that happens is that they're exposed to suffering and retraumatised again and again until they become resigned to and desensitised to it - their own and others'. Sharrans are much less useful to their goddess if they truly move beyond suffering, and instead the process is simply a cycle of abuse and depression as she farms them for sustenance and power.

As per the teachings: life is inane and existence was a mistake all are cursed to suffer because of Selûne's stupidity. All love withers and dies; you are alone, and always will be. This misery is inherent and inescapable, and it's better to embrace this fact than to hurt yourself by being stupid enough to feel love for others or hope for better.

All rulers and hierarchies are corrupt, according to Sharran doctrine, and everybody should be free to live their lives as they wish free of the laws and "morality" decided for them by others.

Everything that exists deserves to perish, and the right thing to do is to help the entropic process along.

Shar is ever-present, and wanders through the dreams of mortals, prodding at their hidden pains and whispering suggestions to them on how to act upon them. She offers the allure of relief to the poor, the lonely and ostracised, the grieving, the mentally ill... Victims of abuse often turn to her for relief and vengeance. On the every day level, people who need to work or travel at night or in the dark make offerings to her to placate her.

A lay worshipper is referred to as a Dark Follower. Sharrans are forbidden to hope, plan ahead or attempt to improve their miserable lives unless ordered to by the clergy, as part of Shar's design. They must not speak out against a priest, or interrupt any of their rituals and prayers for any reason. Lay worshippers must prove their loyalty and devotion by carrying out one crime or deed under the order of the clergy at least once a year, and try to bring others into the fold. They are strictly forbidden to interact with followers of good aligned deities (so you know stay away from people who follow, like, Selûne, who encourages comforting the lonely and making welcoming spaces for the ostracised; Lliira, who encourages experiencing joy; Lathander, with his thing about optimism and new beginnings... Don't want them hanging out with those people...)

If you have no need of Shar's "aid" then her clergy are at hand to fix that for you.

The members of the Night Church are known collectively as Darshars by outsiders, but they would refer to themselves as Martyrs. They have forfeit their lives to Shar in order to serve her, and know that she will eventually come to claim her due. They're generally under no delusion regarding the fact that their deaths are likely to come sooner rather than later, and Shar's tendency to discard her most powerful, loyal and favoured servants on a whim is well known - for all should experience the loss.

When addressing each other, Darshars address equal and lower ranks as "Brother/Sister/Sibling Night," and their superiors as "Mother/Father Night."

Novices of the faith are called Adepts of the Night. Full priests are Watchers. Hands of Shar have proven themselves in battle, and are placed in charge of several cells. A Darklord or Darklady is a region's senior priest, and sets policy for the church in their area. Nightseers oversee the activities of all Sharrans in a realm (a country). The Flames of Darkness are the highest ranking priests, answering directly to Shar. The standard training of the clergy usually shows, mechanically, through multiclassing as a rogue.

To become a Darshar, each priest much prove themselves by committing some terrible deed or other in Shar's name, after which the goddess will bestow a new name upon them. The nature of the deed and the name is called one's Own Secret.

Unlike lay worshippers, clergy are permitted to seek wealth and power, although it comes with the awareness that these things will not last. "If she uses [powerful individuals] as her tools now, there will come a day when she destroys them utterly, in favor of someone much weaker and very different. For that is the way of Shar. In her words, “Out of the darkness we all come, and to the darkness we all return. Some swifter than others, and many not swiftly enough.”

The senior clergy preach of Shar's "Dark Reward" - the raising of a dead Sharran as undead under the control of the clergy. Typically mindless undead such as zombies and skeletons. If Shar prizes the fallen individual's skills enough then she will actually resurrect them fully, augmented with her power. Such priests are the Shadowed, who have abilities such as turning invisible or into mist. They always bear a mark of Shar's corruption however; their eyes - including the sclera - are pitch black, and they can speak only in hoarse, cold whispers. One of their hands gnarls into a black talon. The rest of her priesthood views them with terror.

Darshars keep their hair long in homage to Shar (whose long hair is iconic). It's usually kept under a black skullcap, but women with naturally dark hair are permitted to forgo the cap because their hair is considered sacred to Shar. Black and purple are worn extensively, as are full body black cloaks and robes.

The black cloaks are called nightcloaks, which are enchanted to enable flight and mute ambient sound when the wearer wills it.

At night, some clergy let their hair down and walk the night, wearing nothing but their nightcloaks and their hair. They leave no barriers between themselves and the darkness that is their goddess.

Some priests wear enchanted wigs, woven into braids that can move and carry things (such as daggers), much like Shar's own hair is said to be animate.

Clerics who disappoint Shar/their superiors are forced to undergo thei penance surrounded by light - "the darkness if for those who deserve it."

Darshars are tasked with making society as miserable to live in as possible, so that more will feel loss and be brought into Shar's Embrace seeking peace. They corrupt the powerful, kill those who can't be corrupted and ferment rebellion, and murder people whose work is improving people's lives. They support thieves guilds and criminal organisations that make civilisation more unsafe and untrustworthy. They do generally avoid war and mass bloodshed, however. Shar requires converts/cattle, and it's hard to do that when they're all dead. Also murdering Selûnites and destroying their bases of worship wherever you can; can't forget that.

When a Darshar commits a murder, they are to ensure that the victim is aware that they died in Shar's name. Provided that this murder isn't being committed to foment strife and chaos by pinning it on somebody else, the Darshar will write Shar's name somewhere nearby with the victim's blood.

They're also to help others avenge slights, and publicise such stories, so that the desperate will turn to the Night Church for justice and vengeance and they do their best to present themselves as the superior option to the god of vengeance, Hoar.

They are to do all of this in utter secrecy, it should never be obvious to others who and what is behind these events. Often Sharran cells will found secret, non-Sharran cabals to do their dirty work for them. Hiring adventurers to commit crimes for them is another way. In order to form these cabals, Sharrans often run secret societies, hedonistic social clubs and false cults. They also maintain ties thieves guilds

Unlike the churches of other evil deities, the Night Church is often outlawed simply because they fundamentally won't stop disrupting society. Occasionally, the church will agree to follow the laws and keep their destruction of people's mental health to manageable, more one-on-one levels, and are allowed to build temples and worship. They have such a temple in Silverymoon, which must begrudgingly co-exist in public with the Selûnites there. Sharran worship is also open in Calaunt, Mulmaster, Scornubel, Sembia and Westgate.

Generally speaking though, the church is happier to remain underground where they can do the work they truly "need" to. The Night Church is explicitly illegal in Waterdeep, Baldur's Gate, Amn, and the entirety of the Dales and Cormyr.

They have a complex hierarchy; they work in cells, and every member has a direct superior they answer to. Multiple cells may be active in the area, and while they may know each other and sometimes lend aid, they don't work together or maintain connections to prevent attempts to crack down on Sharran activity from taking down every cell in the area. Nobody knows the true name of their co-conspirators or their leaders, and many of them die in their attempts to subvert society (getting executed for their crimes is a common way to go).

There are no holy days on the Sharran calendar, except for the Feast of the Moon, which they call the Rising of the Dark. Sharrans gather together for a blood sacrifice, and the lay worshippers are told of the plots and aims they are expected to aid in the coming winter.

The most important daily ritual is Nightfall, held every night. There is a brief payer, sometimes in the form of a ritual dance and sometimes involving a sermon. There is a feast and everybody begins dancing (or joins in, if one already started). If one cannot attend group prayer, then the worshipper must dance alone in Shar's honour, wherever they are. Lay worshippers must also either perform a crime or act of cruelty or report one to the congregation. Nights where the moon is not visible are called the Coming of the Lady and the entire congregation is set to task carrying out acts of vengeance and cruelty in Shar's name.

The Kiss of the Lady is the most important ritual, traditionally declared at the whims of the leading priests in the Temple of Old Night in Calimport (Old Night is the oldest of Shar's temples, built in -373 DR). Shar's worshippers engage in a night-long revel of murder, chaos, horror and cruelty ending in a celebratory feast at daybreak.

Representations of Shar in religious art (typically found in temples) show either a black sphere outlined in magically animated purple flames; or depict her as a smiling human woman with sweeping raven-black hair dressed in swirling black clothes. Her eyes are large, with the irises and sclera being solid purple around black pupils. Her temples are usually built under what appear to be legitimate businesses or private residences.

Those of the clergy chosen by Shar to serve her personally are the Nightcloaks, also called Nightbringers.

They can create supernatural darkness in their surroundings that extinguishes all light

Cause temporary light blindness in others

Erase the memories of the last few minutes from the minds of those around them

Cause nightmares

They can conjure doors made of pure darkness and step through, which makes them seem to have teleported (although they've only turned invisible)

They can cast a veil of illusion magic over their surroundings, making them appear totally different (tailored to whatever the priest wants them to look like)

They are a tiny bit more powerful, physically, while in the darkness, but are a tiny bit weaker when standing in the light of a full moon.

They can wrap darkness around themselves, or another, which fully obscures their features and serves as a minor form of armour (including against magic and psionics). They can see perfectly through the darkness, but effects that require eye-contact can't affect them. If cast on an undead being then they're immune to a cleric's turning ability.

They can create a whip of flickering darkness. The strike of the whip does damage and has the same effect as turning on Undead struck. Contact causes pain so unbearable it may cause seizures. The whip passes through inanimate matter harmlessly, and can't be used to tie people up.

Darkness can be moulded into something vaguely human-shaped under the control of the priest. It levitates in the air and suffocates all sources of light it touches. The priest can vaguely "see" through it if they choose.

They can fire a beam of pure darkness from their outstretched hand, which passes through inanimate matter and non-living beings but causes suffocating cold and pain to the living it strikes. The target it overwhelmed, and struck with a supernatural silencing effect for up to four minutes.

-

The Lady of Loss is a Neutral Evil deity, and her domain has been in different places over the years. Originally her realm, the Palace of Loss, resided in the Grey Wastes of Hades and later moved into the Plane of Shadow (aka the Shadowfell) where it was known as the Palace of Night. After the Plane of Shadow moved closer to the material world during the Spellplague she moved to the Tower of Night, which was in the Astral Plane. Considering that 5e has mostly reversed all of 4e's changes, she has presumably returned to the Palace situated in either the Shadowfell or the Grey Wastes.

Shar is described as a "deeply twisted and perverse being of endless petty hatred and jealousy. [...] She revels in the concealed, in that which is hidden, never to be revealed."

Shar is omnipresent, she is the darkness and she is everywhere. She is aware of every single person, object and action that takes place in the darkness.

Another deity, Ibrandul god of caverns, the Underdark and other dark places within the earth. She felt that this was encroaching on her turf, and she murdered him for the offense and took his portfolio and his worshippers during the Time of Troubles. Most of his followers were unaware of this, because Shar enjoys deception and simply presented herself to them as Ibrandul. She usually used them to attack Selûne's followers without drawing attention to her main church. (As of the Second Sundering Ibrandul is... probably alive again, but for all anyone knows it's still Shar pretending to be him)

Shar has two avatars:

The first is the Nightsinger: a 12ft tall woman wearing a mask made of the feathers of every type, trailing away into the cowl of her cloak. The cloak becomes increasingly intangible as it merges into the nearby darkness. She is constantly singing softly, even when she speaks, and her song feels hauntingly beautiful - and engenders a feelings of tragedy and grief. She can manifest supernatural darkness in her surroundings at will. Her song drains away memory and experience (in mechanics, she drains character levels and inflict the feeblemind spell). Listening to it may cause one to experience an unearthly chill (which inflicts cold damage) and can even cause listeners to drop dead on the spot. -

As the Dark Dancer Shar stands at 7ft tall, and appears as though the night sky has been moulded into the shape of a human woman. Her skin is jet black and glitters with stars. Her eyes are just as dark, and her gaze is both hypnotic and capable of enchanting those who meet it. If she kisses a mortal she places a magical compulsion on them - if they surrender to it they will become her loyal servant, and if they chose to resist the spell will kill them (this is an active choice for the victim - surrender or die). The spell can only be removed by rewriting reality with a wish spell so that it never happened, and the victim is fully prepared to die for Shar.

Shar's hair is prehensile, and moves at her bidding while ignoring the laws of physics (gravity and the wind are irrelevant). She hisses and speaks softly, never raising her voice, even in anger.

Her lesser manifestations involve tendrils of pitch darkness forming where they shouldn't be able to. They writhe, curl and swirl in constant movement, and a nimbus of glowing purple surrounds them. Sometimes one can see a glowing purple eye at the heart of the dark staring at them, but even when the eye isn't visible one can feel a presence within the darkness watching. In some stories, the darkness that blankets the world is described as Shar's hair falling over it. Presumably these are the individual strands. When a tendril touches one of her followers she can transmit her thoughts into their head - sometimes these are instructions or advice, and sometimes she reaches into their minds and numbs their ability to feel pain. She never heals their physical injuries, only allows them to ignore their suffering until they succeed or collapse/drop dead from the damage.

Her messengers take the form of these tentacles and other, more alien, shadow monsters.

Another fun manifestation Shar enjoys is severed human heads that fly through the darkness at night. They fly silently through the darkness, and Shar sees through their eyes, hears through their ears and occasionally speaks through them.

Shar hates all the other gods (especially her sister, and the sun god Lathander (and Amaunator before him)). She has tolerated an alliance with Myrkul, worked with Cyric to cause chaos, and Talona plays the sycophant to her in the hopes that Shar will help her kill Loviatar one day.

In response to the formation of Mystryl's Weave, during the early days of creation, Shar studied it for a while, eventually creating her own form of it - the Shadow Weave (called the Dark Lady's Weave by her followers). Where the Weave forms the tapestry of reality, the Shadow Weave fills the negative space of nonexistence between the gaps. To utilise her Weave "safely", one must be a follower of Shar or have their patron deity request her permission on their behalf. One deity she works with frequently in "lending" her Weave is the drow god Vhaeraun. One who attempts to use the Shadow Weave without her permission will lose part of themself - and it's already pretty good at having horrible side effects and destroying your sanity. It works well for spells that corrupt, destroy, drain life and smother the senses, but is less useful for effects that create.

Shar hopes to kill Mystra and supplant the original Weave so that she will be the only source of power for mages on Toril. Unlike Mystra, she places no restrictions on its use.

-

Shar and Selûne were twin halves of the primordial Two-Faced Goddess born shortly after the birth of the universe. There was no time or space, only a void containing themselves, the Overgod Ao, and shadowy beings known as the Shadevari.

Together they created the planetary bodies of the solar system, including the Earthmother, Chauntea.

When Chauntea begged for warmth to nurture life upon her, the Two-Faced goddess experienced conflicting desire for the first time. Selûne was willing to grant the Earthmother her wish, but for Shar, the very concept was a horrifying antithesis to her very being.

The argument between the two spawned the concepts (and gods) of destruction; such as war, disease and death/murder. Eventually, Selûne reached into the Elemental Plane of Fire and drew a portion of it into Realmspace, and fashioned it into the sun - a process that burned her.

Shar's rage doubled, and she began to snuff out every light she could find in the universe, causing Selûne to tear out a part of her own essence and fashion it into a weapon that she threw at Shar in defence of the new-born life of Realmspace. This portion of Selûne passed through Shar and formed itself into the Weave - the goddess Mystryl (who would one day be called Mystra). Mystryl sided with Selûne, and Shar was forced to concede bitter defeat now that she was utterly outnumbered, and swore revenge against all of them.

Shar retreated into the dark to recover, and found allies amongst the Shadevari, who also shared her resentment at having light and life brought into the previously dark and silent universe.

This battle has left Selûne permanently weakened, and her strength waxes and wanes much like the phases of the moon. The two sisters continue their argument - and Shar is boldest when her sister is at her weakest.

[qqueenofhades]

would you ever write a modern/no-powers au for dreamling/sandman?

"Look, Mee," Hob says, for the fourth or fifth time that conversation. "I'm sure your brother is, uh, great, but I'm not sure -- "

"Come on," his best friend says, also for the fourth or fifth time that conversation. "Honestly, you'd be doing me a massive favor. I can barely get him out of the house most days, so I figured that at least the two of you could faff off and be really pathetic together?"

"Thanks." Hob switches the phone to his other ear and glares suspiciously out at the garden; when you've got two small children and it's quiet, you figure something's gone terribly amiss. Robyn and Alison haven't burnt the place down or gotten run over in traffic, but they're playing with something small, muddy and possibly still alive, and Hob debates whether he has to sprint out and save them from certain death. "You're a great friend, truly."

"I know," Morticia says airily. That does, bewilderingly, seem to be her actual name (were her parents massive Addams Family fans or something?) but with Hob and the rest of her friends, she generally goes by Mors, or Mee for short. He looked it up once. Ancient Roman god(dess) of death, which made him laugh, at least when it didn't kick him in the teeth. "You can thank me later."

"And I want to spend time with your brother... why?"

"Because." Oh God, here it comes. He can hear her trying not to say it, the same way everyone's tried not to say it in the going-on-eighteen months since his wife went into an ordinary central-London NHS hospital to give birth to their second child and didn't come back out. "You know it would be good for you, Robbie."

"Right." Hob's voice turns wry. "Can't have me wallowing alone in my misery? You know I've got the kids to look after, and they're talking about extending my contract at Birkbeck. I'm keeping busy."

Keeping busy. It always sounds stupid, even if it's the truth. Like you can chase overwhelming, soul-crushing grief away just by getting out of bed and making breakfast for the kids, holding Robyn's hand as you trundle off on the school run and tell him to have a good day, the thousand and one ways you think you're massively arsing this up and Ellie would have been so much better. Every time the doorbell rings or someone comes up the walk, he thinks -- for a stupid moment he thinks -- and then of course it isn't. You think about women dying in childbirth like it's something out of medieval times, or some third-world country. Not in England in the twenty-first century. Not in London. Not as if your daughter is beautiful and bright and alive, and every time you look at her, you remember that her mother isn't, and the happiness you feel is poisoned by grief again, cold and blue and endless as the ocean. You laugh with the kids at some Disney cartoon one moment, and the next, you're crying alone in the kitchen, in bed, in the silent darkness. And no matter how much you ask, she doesn't answer. You think she does, sometimes. You're just fooling yourself.

You know, Hob thinks. Maybe it would be good for him. At least it would let him spend time with (if Mee's account is anything to go by) the one man in all of London more pathetic than him. It doesn't have to be anything more than that. Even if she is trying to set him up, she wouldn't admit it. She isn't, surely? Trying to match her brother off with her best friend, widowed-single-dad-part-time-lecturer who's clinging onto sanity by the bare edge of his fingernails? Right? Fuck. Should never have told her that he's bi. Doubled her meddling possibilities at a stroke. And yet. He's so lonely, he almost doesn't care.

"Fine," Hob says resignedly. "I'll see if I can get a sitter for the kids. And it better not be that grotty brewery in Shepherd's Bush you dragged me to last time."

"No." Mee sounds like she's laughing at him. She probably is laughing at him, or else she thinks he's become such a pathologically undatable freak that his only chance for happiness ever again is with her equally pathetic little brother. "Nice new Asian-fusion place. Hammersmith. Fifteen minutes from you on the Tube. Don't chicken out, Robert."

And with that, well --

There's pretty much no choice.

Hob finds a sitter for the kids, promises to pay her twenty quid an hour (it's London, after all), and grumblingly picks out some clothes. He's not good at this. It's been almost ten years since he was dating anyone, and Eleanor was from a rich enough family that there was no chance of ever impressing her parents; he could have turned up in anything from Savile Row to a bloody dishcloth and they still would have hated him. Then he finds himself fucking around to the point where he's going to be late, the Tube will be a nightmare anyway, and panics again and rushes out the door with barely a word about what to feed the kids and when to put them to bed. Is nice Olivia from down the street judging him? She almost surely is.

Hob grimly toddles off to Hammersmith, exits into a light rain, and spends an inordinate amount of time searching for the restaurant. When he finally steps inside, he's not quite sure who he's looking for. Mee texted him a picture of her brother, but Hob has trouble believing that such a pale, pasty, and terminally uncharismatic twink could ever be related to her. One of them has to be adopted, and he's laying money on this one, whose name is -- no, seriously -- Morpheus. Morticia and Morpheus. What is wrong with their parents? Determined to doom their children to an eternity of primary-school torment?

Hob contemplates turning around and leaving, but now he's come this far, Olivia will definitely judge him if he returns within the hour, and frankly, he's judging himself. Even worse, he's fairly sure he's just spotted his man. Morpheus (come on, really?) is sitting by himself at a corner table, looking appropriately dark and broody, in his emo-goth dark coat and toilet-brush hair. Just like the photo. He's admittedly not bad-looking in person; he's got a pale, chiseled beauty that is briefly arresting, almost unearthly. Still, though. Definitely a wanker.

"Hello," Hob says, deciding to bite the bullet. He strides over, hand outstretched. "I'm Robert Gadling, and I think you're the bloke I'm supposed to be meeting? I know your sister."

Morpheus's mouth makes a small lemon-sucking motion. He rises to his feet, regards Hob's hand as if not certain what to do with it and/or wondering if he can get away with not touching it, and finally shakes it, brief and cold and dry. "I am," he says curtly. "You may sit."

Well, good. Glad they got His Majesty's permission. No unauthorized sitting happening here, no sir. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Hob puts his bag on the floor and slides into the chair across from Morpheus. Like every Londoner at a loss for a better opening line, he reaches for the weather. "Shame about this piss, isn't it? And it was all the way up to twenty degrees last week. Did you have to come far?"

"No," Morpheus says, still not displaying any particular delight in being forced to spend this evening in the presence of another human being and looking as if he is very much hoping the floor will suddenly open up and swallow him. "Not far."

Hob waits, in vain, on the chance that Morpheus might elaborate. He does not. Well. This is going swimmingly. Are they on a date? Did Mee tell him that they were on a date? Is Hob sure this isn't an extremely elaborate prank, and she just plucked one of her single friends from the vast and bewildering mystery of her acquaintances? Truly, it is no wonder that Morpheus is, in fact, unattached. He's got the personality of a soggy rag and the face of -- well, not that. He is pretty. But Hob is not that shallow. Thanks very much.

Conversation suffers badly until they order drinks and food; or rather Hob orders, and Morpheus says that he'll take just a glass of wine. He does loosen up slightly as they talk; Hob does most of that, but Morpheus listens with cool, intent attention. From time to time he asks a question, but he doesn't interrupt, and finally Hob, trying to make it as light-hearted as "my wife died eighteen months ago and this is the first not-date I've been on ever since" can possibly be, admits it. He braces for Morpheus to get up, to run, to fire off an indignant text to Morticia or anything else, but he doesn't. He just nods once. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I know that it is... difficult."

All of a sudden, Hob is forced to consider the startling and unsettling possibility that Morpheus himself knows something about this. He can't say why or how that might be, but life is full of mysteries. "I -- yeah." It's an abject relief to say it and to have someone acknowledge it simply and matter-of-factly, not smother him with sympathy or cluck about how hard it is. "So if I'm off my game, that, uh. That's why."

Morpheus thinks about that for a long moment. Then all at once, out of nowhere, he smiles. It completely transforms his face, it twists like a fishhook in Hob's gut, and all of a sudden, he wonders in alarm if he is, in fact, entirely that shallow after all. "Believe me, Hob Gadling," Morpheus says. "It has very much been my pleasure."

[daytaker]

Could you perhaps write something where gn!mc is just,,, a complete asshole. Fully standoffish and rude, I think it'd be hilarious [bonus points if they have a traumatic backstory for WHY]

No bonus points for me because my asshole MCs exist in a state of suspended animation and they're just like this Because They Are.

Now, I go on and actually explore my idea from an earlier prompt that MC being standoffish would derail the entire plot of OG Season 1 since it requires them to help Belphie get out of the attic.

And if you're wondering, yes, Solomon is quoting KJV Book of Revelation at the end there.

How Your Year-Long Vacation In the Devildom Ended in the Apocalypse

or; Asshole Standoffish MC says what?

Ship: None Word Count: ~1.3k Triggers: Uhhhh... (points to the title)

-----

You're not here to make friends.

And you're definitely not here to date any million-year-old demons who look like they stepped out of the pages of Esquire.

You're here because you're Fate's favorite bitch, and apparently you haven't been suffering enough lately.

So you go ahead and announce all that to your host family the first time you all sit down for dinner.

"...Are humans like that?" asks Asmodeus, looking between you and his brothers. "...I...I don't remember humans being like that."

"Wow. Okay," says Leviathan, staring at his Switch. "First of all, what's your damage. Second, you should probably find the demons who are interested in dating you and let them know, lmao." He fist-bumps Mammon without looking up from the screen.

"What's Esquire?" asks Beel.

"I'm gonna go eat in my room," you say. "Goodnight."

As you leave, you hear Mammon mumble, "Well, they were right about being a bitch."

------

Things aren't any less irritating at that stupid school. Honestly, who names a school after themselves and the fact that they're royalty? Was he just trying to make an easy acronym? Seriously. 'Royal Academy of Diavolo'.... It makes you cringe, hard.

So you sit in the back of all your classes and doodled your favorite sleep paralysis monsters getting closer and closer to the foot of your bed over the course of the day. You're just getting to where you can see the empty white scleras staring up at you when Dumb, Dumb, and Dumber turn up, A.K.A. the other exchange students, A.K.A. Simeon the Angel (dumb), Luke the Baby Angel (also dumb), and Solomon (dumber), the immortal human sorcerer and also the ancient king of Jerusalem? (Like, that Solomon? What the fuck, why does he look like a twenty-three year old anime boy?)

"You must be the newest exchange student," says the tall angel.

"Yeah, and?" you answer.

"Hey, you don't need to be so rude to him!" says the baby angel. His voice makes you want to throw yourself into a furnace.

"Yeah, and?" you answer again.

"Haha! So the new student has some spunk! I like that," says the Biblical king.

"Why are you all bothering me? I was drawing my sleep par--"

"We should all hang out at Purgatory Hall sometime," suggests Simeon, proving he hasn't been paying attention. "By the way, why did Diavolo end up putting you in with the brothers instead of situating you with us?"

"Because I walk around naked at night and I don't care who sees, and there's a child in your dorm."

"Really?" asks Simeon, covering Luke's ears. "Why do you do that?"

"Because fuck you, that's why. Leave me alone."

"I don't remember humans being like that," murmurs Simeon to Solomon as they walk away.

------

"I'm a human too," says the demon in the attic.

"Uh-huh," you say with undisguised skepticism. "And you want me to forge pacts because...?"

"Because then you can release me. Us humans have to stick together."

You let that hang there for a few seconds before dropping the ax.

"...So I know you're Belphegor. Because your fucking picture is up in the house. You absolute moron."

His expression drops.

"You idiot. You lying shit. Don't waste my time like this again. I'm not forging pacts with any demons. I know you missed my first dinner here, but to sum it up: I'm not here to make friends."

"I don't remember humans being like this," he mumbles to himself. "Wha- hey! Wait! Where are you going?! Come back! Come- come back!!!"

-----

It's Diavolo's birthday party, and Lucifer forces you to come.

By that, I mean he physically picks you up and drags you there while you struggle and rage.

"I don't remember humans being like this," Diavolo says to Barbatos with some concern as he sees you carried thrashing through the entry.

"Oh, they absolutely are," argues Solomon. "I only calmed down after I'd been around about a hundred years. But for their stage of development, I'd say they're pretty much par for the course."

Barbatos stares blankly at Solomon as Diavolo nods sagely. "I see, I see... I suppose I'll have to keep that in mind when selecting our next exchange student."

-----

"Finally! The year is almost up, which means this loser's going back to the human world, and Belphie's gonna come back home!" cheers Mammon.

"Very expository of you," Satan replies dryly.

"Oh, Belphie is Belphegor, right? Your youngest brother?" you ask, looking up from the knife you've been sharpening. It's one of the chores you reluctantly accepted over the course of your stay here. You're taking care of your knife duties while brothers 2 and 4 cook dinner.

"Uh, obviously," snorts Mammon. "Why, what do you care? You'll be gone before he gets here."

"I forgot I never mentioned this to any of you. He's in the attic."

Mammon and Satan stare at you. Mammon chuckles nervously. "Whaaa? Don't be stupid, there's nothing up in the attic. Lucifer doesn't even let us go up there."

You stare back at him, unblinking. The two brothers glance at each other.

-----

You sit on your suitcase in the front hall of the House of Lamentation as the place goes up in flames.

Beelzebub is in a mindless rage, cursing Lucifer and breaking down walls. Every now and then, the entire house rumbles, indicating its structural integrity is just that much less solid.

Leviathan summoned Lotan in a moment of panic when Mammon kicked his door in and announced that Belphegor was going to war against the human world and Lucifer and Diavolo and he'd better pick sides before he got drafted, so the entire ground floor is soaked in a few inches of water and tentacles keep reaching out from the depths of the house. You swat them away whenever they get too close. You're not sure where Levi is now, but based on the fact you can hear Mammon screaming and pounding at the bathroom door, you can make a good guess.

Asmodeus released Cerberus from the basement after charming him, and when he realized the dog was too enraptured to obey Lucifer, the pressure got to him and he fled. Now the two are on the war path to Majolish, because 'all this drama is stressing [them] out' and 'this is how [they] cope, okay?'

Lucifer is grappling with Belphie and Satan, who, upon hearing that Belphie intended to rebel against Lucifer, joined his cause. He keeps trying to bang their heads together; you can see it happening in front of the fireplace down the hall. But Satan's tail keeps slashing at him like some sort of prehensile melee weapon and it's clearly at least somewhat effective.

Looking up, you see what appears to be a pair of dragons grappling in the sky, and all around you are the sounds of screams and sirens. The earth rumbles around you, and even the stars seemed to be falling from the sky.

"I can't believe you did it!"

You turn around in surprise as the door opens. Solomon stands there, beaming at you like a proud father. "You really did it! You broke the sixth seal!"

"Sorry, what?"

"'And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood!'"

"Sorry, what?"

The roof begins to cave in, so you step out of the way, and Solomon laughs maniacally.

"It's still going! 'And the great kings of the land said to the mountains and rocks, "Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne!"'" Another chunk of the ceiling crashes directly in front of you.

"Are you high?"

"Yes!"

"Share."

So we smoke a joint, staring up through the broken roof into the starless sky, watching demons and brawl, awaiting the breaking of the seventh seal: silence.

[tepli-mravenci]

hey homonoromo! a czech related question: how is it with queer acceptance in your country? preferrably in brno, haha. and especially about trans people? do you think it'd be possible for me to transition there? and how much would it cost in general? and do i have to get psych approval and wait in the queue for years or stuff like in the uk?

i know you're not a consultant or anything, i just don't know who to ask. also, i guess that's way more than one question

Aight so when it comes to acceptance it really comes to individual people but regarding transition there's a couple things to consider:

- according to law you are required (among other things) to get sterilized to complete your transition if you're transitioning fully from one binary gender to another (aka you want your personal documents say you're that gender and you want a name that's purely given to people of that gender), also there's no nonbinary option for the "full" transition, you either have M or F on your ID

- before you're allowed to start taking HRT you need to go to a therapist essentially, it really depends on WHERE exactly and WHO your therapist is and I don't know the Brno situation but there are forums (mostly on Facebook I think) where people discuss their experiences (also čumblr Brňáci might know more than me)

- this is also individual when it comes to how long you'll be waiting, how long they'll be examining you and how long it will take you to transition

- I'm not sure how MONEY works when you have a non-czech insurance company (since I have no idea how insurance works) but if you do have one that operates in the Czech republic they WILL pay for your transition as if it were any other medical treatment (there's of course examinations and shit that determine whether it will psychologically benefit you to receive that treatment), you should still check if your insurance covers these kinds of things tho

- during your examination period you're first required to "try out" presenting yourself socially as the gender you're transitioning to which includes using a gender neutral name

- a recent GOOD development here is that you can now change your name to a neutral one ANYTIME even if you're not "officially" transitioning! Here's a list of legally approved gender neutral names!

- there are invasive and unnecessary examinations that should not be mandatory for the transition but your therapist can still try to make you go through them, depends again on the specific one, it's also important to remember that the way trans people are diagnosed here is reportedly ancient and just...really stupid? (to quote what my classmate told me, they asked him things like "did you play with dolls or cars as a child?")

- if you are married (to someone of the opposite sex) or in a registered partnership (with someone of the same sex) pre-transition, you have to get divorced when you complete transition because they're not the same on a legal level

Trans*parent is a great Czech resource when it comes to transition and trans stuff in general

I am not sure how different it is with foreigners or even if you'd find a therapist who speaks english honestly. Don't quote me on this but you might need to get Czech citizenship first? But I really don't know.

If I said something stupid or inaccurate (or no longer relevant) here pls correct me!!

[goldenqingxin]

here's a little snippet of something im working on (yes i know i havent updated LOB in a month. leave me alone) ☁︎ jercy, au where they kinda remember each other from when they're at the same place, same time. inspired by e106 at 8:28. also, percy swears like a sailor because i said so. ☁︎

“Watch out!” 

“Oh, shit–” 

He’s on the floor and he can’t feel his jaw. His fingers are tingling in a very painful way. He swears up and down he hasn’t had his life flashing before his eyes, but like, he feels like he’s dying. It hurts like hell.

“You okay?” 

The sight that greets him is nothing short of confusing– a tall, blond boy, around his age or maybe younger, with a purple shirt written SPQR on it. He stands in front of him, crouched just enough to shove his calloused hand in his face. (Why in the world is it rough like that? He looks hardly twelve but he has the fingers of a carpenter.) 

“What’s up with the shirt? Are you LARPing?” he asks, not even cursing his lack of filter this time. He’s in a freaky casino with friends who just about forgot they were on a mission to stop World War III. Not that he remembers the details much anyway…

“What’s that?” The boy asks in return. “It’s just a camp shirt.” 

Huh, almost like Camp Half-Blood’s. The leather cord on his neck rubs at the skin there. It’s bound to leave a red mark with how tight it is against his nape. 

He takes the boy’s hand to get back up on his feet. The last thing he expected was that stupidly strong grip and the sliver of a smile on the boy’s face when Percy nearly fell over. His hand starts tingling again. 

“Jason Grace,” the boy tells him cryptically. 

“Percy Jackson,” he answers, because obviously the guy told him his own name. 

“You don’t sound like you’re from around here,” Jason says. He has this accent, one Percy can’t really place– something between animalistic and terribly Silicon Valley. 

“And you sound like you’re definitely from L.A.” 

He’s not stupid enough to waste his time here, talking to this very pretty guy (where did that come from?) in a very strange casino, with two of his friends gods-know where. Or at least, he thinks that for half a second before–

“What kind of camp makes kids wear something from Ancient Rome?” 

His eyes drop to Jason’s hand on his hip. 

“And what the fuck is with that sword?!”

Jason’s eyes widen, like he’s about to run away. It’s not a good look on him. Percy almost backtracks, or slams his hand against his mouth just to shut himself up for one damn second, but Jason beats him to the chase. 

“You can see the gladius?” 

“Why are you saying it like you actually speak latin?” is what Percy answers with, because oh yeah, I’ve got my own sword too, but it’s named Anaklusmos or I can speak Ancient Greek, how cool is that! isn’t the best thing to reply with in this context. 

Jason looks– conflicted, at first. There’s some doubt in his stormy eyes, and they begin to resemble Annabeth’s more and more as they cloud over. 

Oh shit, Annabeth–

“I left my friends back, oh shit, I gotta be out of here as soon as I can, it’s almost the solstice..,” he mutters, more to himself than to Jason, but it finally gets a reaction out of him that isn’t a (practically) blank stare. Not that he minds. 

“Yeah, it’s tomorrow. What kind of deadline do you have in the middle of summer though? I thought classes were over.” 

The way he says it is almost comically uncertain, like he has no idea how the school system works in America. Which is, honestly, fair. Percy doesn’t either. 

Wait. 

“Tomorrow? Nah, no way. We’re the 17th. Did you hit your head too?” He laughs, more out of obligation than anything– Jason’s eyes are downright scrutinising now, and in some other context when they’re both older it would’ve been nice but right now it just scares the shit out of him. 

“No, I got here just five minutes ago. We’re the 20th.” It’s the way he says it so matter-of-factly that really gets on his nerves. 

He grabs the first person that passes by them– some scrawny kid with black hair, and asks them the date once and for all. 

His heart stops when the answer is “March 12th, 1932.” 

He glares at Jason and sees him glaring back, and that’s all it takes before they’re running to the entrance to look outside the glass doors. 

It’s pitch black, and Percy hasn’t been here for more than an hour. It was noon when he walked in.  

“The Lotus Eaters,” he mumbles. 

“Like, from the Odyssey?” Jason asks, his voice squeaky and scared. It’s the first actual emotion he sees on the guy’s face– literal fear. 

“Fuck.” 

Jason hums in agreement. 

“Well, good luck to you, man,” Percy says before bolting away back to where he last left Annabeth and Grover. He prayed for them to still be there, and for there to still be time left if they make it out of here. 

He doesn’t quite catch the small mumble of his name falling off Jason’s lips. 

It sounds great when he says it. 

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 44

The second half of a two-parter! And in a sensible order, which in this project, is not to be sneezed at.

So, Matt Smith, Amy, Rory and River, in America AGAIN (is this the third time of going to New York? The fourth?). Last we saw, Amy was shooting a terrified child through the head. Let's see how that resolves!

We open with one of those classic Moffat openings, where everything is slick and fast moving and tries to pull the wool over your eyes before a quick pull-back-and-reveal but regrettably has a few plot holes. Only minor, though, it's not bad. Amy, Rory and River are all on the run being hunted by Sterling-From-Leverage while they build a prison around the Doctor. He "shoots" all of them and then takes them to the prison, but it's a magic special prison that doesn't allow any particles of anything in or out (presumably including air) so they're safe from the penis-fingered aliens and off they go in an invisible TARDIS. Eh. It's fun.

Then there's about 15 minutes of classic horror as they try to track down the little girl (it's River) in an abandoned children's home to find out who she is (it's River) because she's Presumably Important (we literally know this it's River). They're all given a lil' recorder in their palms so when they see a penis-fingered alien they can record into it, and it will flash to let them know they have a message when they look away. They also draw tally marks on themselves so they know when they've seen one. These two things mean lots of creepy shots that are fucking great - I know I often shit all over this era of the show, but the jumpscares and the scary stuff are great.

The only problem really is that the characters are required to be a bit stupid and useless to maximise the horror. There's a GREAT scene where Amy is exploring an abandoned dormitory in the orphanage by torchlight (she looks out the window and we see her reflection, and then there's lightning and her face and hands are now covered in tally marks, fucking FANTASTIC), and the door closes and locks... somehow. Unexplained. Anyway, she suddenly realises her palm is flashing and the message is "I can see them! But I think they're asleep! Just get out!"

Useless. You see them WHERE Amy. WHERE are they. Turns out they're on the ceiling. That would have been useful to know. FFS.

Anyway Amy sees the eyepatch hatch lady again, and then gets kidnapped by penis-fingered aliens. Sterling shoots a penis-fingered alien and takes it back to the prison to film it, and we get a name for them - the Silents. Silents! An answer! We've heard of them. The rest spend a while looking at the space suit the little girl (River) was in. The Doctor claims the Silents steered the development of humans because "Why does humanity suddenly decide to go to the moon?" as if there isn't a long-attested record of humans wanting to go to the stars tracking back to the ancient world, but look - we can't expect the writer of a sci-fi show about history to waste his time knowing things about history.

Also, they've already been to the moon at this point. We've seen Victorians on Mars, with Capaldi and Bill. Lol, this show. How funny that it forgot that little detail that only came a few episodes ago in this watch order. Trololol.

Rory listens to Amy's recorder, which was removed from her palm but is inexplicably still broadcasting everything she says in spite of being nowhere near her. She says some deeply tedious things about wanting to see him BUT WHICH ONE IS SHE TALKING TO it is honestly the most boring thing I've seen on television in a while. "You have a stupid face," she says. Rory looks happy. "My life was so boring before you dropped out of the sky", she says. Rory looks sad.

And then! Interesting!

The Doctor sits next to him.

"Do you remember spending 2000 years as a Roman waiting for Amy?" he says.

"Sometimes but I try not to," Rory says, which is fair.

But interesting! We've had that mentioned before. Is Rory still plastic, then? Must be, he was plastic as a Roman. It wouldn't make any sense whatsoever if he was now human but remembered his plastic memories, after all. Still plastic! Gosh.

Anyway, Sterling gets the Silent he shot to say the sentence "You should kill us all on sight," which he duly videos and sends to the Doctor. The Doctor interrupts the moon landing to play it, which fair play, actually is quite a clever and pleasing way to get rid of the Silents - we won't remember it because it features a Silent, humans then kill them all but don't remember doing it... it's all meta, look. I could have killed one just today. On my way to work, like. Pushed it in the Tawe. Who knows? Fun.

They rescue Amy.

"I didn't know if you meant me or the Doctor," says Rory.

"Obviously you," says Amy. "Why would I mean him?"

"Because you said he "dropped out of the sky"," Rory says

"It's a figure of speech, you dribbling imbecile," mocks Amy.

It's not. There's no such expression. And if there were, I struggle to see how you would apply it to Rory, a man you have known for literally your entire life, apparently. "My life was so boring between the ages of birth and three until you came along" bitch how the fuck do you remember

Anyway it turns out she's NOT pregnant, but the Doctor scans her again and it's inconclusive, which... lol that is the only mystery in this episode, actually. We know all the rest! Amy will have baby Melody who will be the child in the space suit who will regenerate into Mels who will become River who will kill the Doctor. The ONLY part of this storyline we haven't yet seen resolved is why the pregnancy scan is inconclusive. This episode is Badly Served by this watch order.

It finishes with the child regenerating into Mels. This is just as well, because the Doctor decides out loud that he's not going to bother trying to rescue the terrified abused little girl he's been seeing because he wants to have an adventure instead, and so quite literally and without hyperbole abandons her to die on the streets.

Oh and Sterling turns out to be gay and dating a black guy.

Plot threads! Let's update the board!

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest. The Thijarian planet was destroyed by some sort of impact). Is this the Flux?

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy. Nope: she is definitely not blown up)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again. NOPE, back to not working.)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregnancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?) She’s deffo pregnant and the baby becomes River, but why inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri (Not anymore, somehow)

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory? How did she forget a Dalek invasion?

Is Rory plastic or not? NEW INFO: Yeah, must be, he couldn't possibly remember being plastic otherwise

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard?

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years? NEW INFO: since Roman times, it seems

How does the Doctor survive River? He doesn’t, apparently

How does he erase himself from history

Did Captain Jack lose his memories to the same people as the Doctor? What did he lose?

When did the Doctor send the Daleks into a void to save the universe?

What’s with the weird crack in the wall and is it affecting memories?

Why do Amy and Rory think the Doctor is dead? Is it because of River as an astronaut?

Is Matt Smith’s Doctor a tree racist?

Why is the beautiful geode woman stealing people into a Passenger form?

Who are the penis fingered aliens? RESOLVED: The Silents!

River says she’ll die one day when the Doctor doesn’t remember her, let’s hope she doesn’t mean it

[volivolition]

Ok, ok, rank all the skills from your favorite to least.

You can do this two ways:

* just a big tierlist with all of them (can also include the funky ones [limbic system, ancient reptilian brain and tie])

* or 4 tierlistes with all the types separated

(You can choose what you like more)

Good luck >:]c

OH THIS IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE IVE HAD THIS TIERLIST READY FOR A WEEK NOW HAKJSH <33

it must be said that i love all of them, even the ones on lower tiers. they're all so lovable in their own ways <33

limbic and reptilian brain are both in the blue tier after half light! and the tie would be in a space between yellow and green called "you are funny but im just not a tie kinda guy" hkjhg

EDIT: NOTES ON PLACEMENTS BELOW THE CUT!!

purple heart 💜 means ive got the gist down for their character study chapter in Swept Up (AKA i understand them a little better) and blue heart 💙 means i have a design for them. both of these boost them a bit hkjgh <3

Shivers, my city, my beloved of all time, La Revacholiere... what can't i say about her. she's everything actually. the world who loves you. the world can be saved. you can save her. Shivers!!! I adore you!!!!! 💜💙

EMPATHY!! My chosen signature skill! i have very high empathy and it is hell and empathy also struggles with that and imjgkjh hugs him. hugs him. you can be masc and sensitive and kind and loving, me handshake empathy. I love understanding people, i love you empathy you're so cool and im writing a whole ass fic about you. 💜💙

Volition. of course. if i said everything i loved about him we'd be here a LOOONG time. i love you "boring" skill, i love that you want to keep me alive, i love that you made a holy vow to keep harry alive, i love your poignant quotes and your silly quotes and everything you say ever and i love knights and protectors and imgnkjhf. YOU ARE WHY IT'S BEEN 0 DAYS WITHOUT ME CRYING OVER THE SKILLS!!!! dude you are so dear to me, i wish i could hug you, i am never going to be normal about you, there's a reason i named my blog after you hkjh 💜💙

Electrochemistry!! if he wasn't in besties, he would be in "You are so fucking funny" but i do adore him... im used to being called a "smol innocent uwu bean pure cinnamon roll aroace" YOU KNOW THE TYPE, and writing echem has let me write silly stupid pick up lines and inappropriate jokes that im constantly withholding. you are. so tragic funny, your lines make me laugh and then i'll sit and stare at a wall when i think about you too hard. i KNOW you can heal my guy im kissing you directly on the forehead 💜💙

Perception!!! HONESTLY perception could go into the besties category, i LOVE it, but i think friends suits it better. that's my senses and im very fond of it. guy who tells me what i see!! 💜💙

Esprit De Corps :]!! im very fond of getting to hear what the precinct is up to, and also what kim is thinking! Esprit is very community focused to me. 💜

Inland Empire! ohh my guy you say the darnedest things!! you're so interesting. used to be a skill i knew how to write for but like... i forgot?? somehow?? dude where'd you go come back??? i need to research him and write his character study so i can GET HIM AGAIN!! dude i love the words you say... 💙

Interfacing, THIS GUY!! love this guy. just a little tinkerer, prefers machines over people because he knows how they work. helps us get closer to kim! he's a sweetie... 💜💙

Reaction Speed! GUY JUST GOES FAST, catch what you miss, fast reflex fella!! reaction speed you're so fun, go swoosh for real...

Hand/Eye Coordination!! dude you are funny, i love that he just wants to throw things and catch things and shoot guns. very endeared by him hkjddh 💜💙

COMPOSURE YOU ARE INTEGRAL AND ALSO FUNNY. masking king and i LOVE characters who are really good at being the serious straightman of the group but are actually really silly and hide their emotions well, composure you are a queen and i love you. 💜💙

Drama!! ough. my liege, let's lie for fun. WHY?? WHAT?? YOU'RE SO FUNNY WHAT???? your whimsy is beautiful, ive always wanted to be a theater kid 💜

Savoir Faire!! you're SO COOL LITTLE GUY YOU'RE SO FUNNY AND SUAVE. i think you're so amusing savvy you're dear to me. DEAR TO ME!!!!

Pain Threshold! dude what is wrong with you (affectionate). thank you for helping me through pain, and your over-masochistic tendencies are extremely amusing to me. dude what is WRONG with you (endeared) 💜💙

Physical Instrument, THE COACH HIMSELF!! god dude, you almost went into the Threatening tier but no, no, you're too funny. i think you're so amusing, why do you SAY THINGS like that dude hkjgh. guy who wants us to jog and lift weights and hit things and is fucking hilarious about it?? i headcanon him as keeping most of the gym teacher memories, so he's good with kids... 💜

Suggestion!! dude you have some WILD ASS suggestions and i love you for it hkjhg

Encyclopedia is up here because of skillsposting i WILL NOT LIE, otherwise he'd be with the rest of the intellect skills hkjfh but also ency is so goddamn funny, i love your infodumps dude, i love that you just say random shit? the pop quiz and the contact mike... dude you're just. what!! (affectionate) i love the fucking shit you remember dude. sorry i just added 50 new words to swept up about him hkjhg 💜💙

Visual Calculus, this is my friend who can make cool light projections and i am FOND OF THEM, i think they're neat!!

Conceptualization, artiste extraordinaire, i ENJOY YOU!! i really like my design for xim, but im still working on her characterization. i love artists. i feel like she wants to see the beauty in things... i appreciate xer :] 💜💙

Logic, pretty neutral about this guy actually, but i do love a skill who tries to get everyone on track hskjsh 💜💙?

Rhetoric! im glad you help us talk good dude!! but you are so very argumentative and im bad at confrontation hkjdh i love communism though, you're so right for that 💜?💙?

Horrific Necktie! my guy please don't choke us and also you are a little too wild for me!! your suggestions are not what i want to do hakjhs but you're amusing and i like you.

Authority! dude, dude, i HATE confrontation nooooo hhkjh!!!! please don't make me exercise my position as a cop noOOOO!!! but i do love you though, you're in charge of some VERY important checks and you're very amusing.

HALF LIGHT ACTUALLY, we're switching her higher because i somehow forgot endurance is misogynistic and fascist?? hkgjh DIVERSITY WIN!! half light will kill everyone equally and we love him for this. like, i will not do your suggestions because i would rather not kill people, also you are very threatening and confrontational, but thank you for looking out for me?? i made a design for her and i think shes so interesting. shes very scared all the time and is not having a good time and i understand little one i get it :'] i will wrap you in blankets (you will burn them and thats okay) 💜💙

Endurance, my guy PLEASSEEEE get better ideology, but you're part of health gang squad and also want harry to live and you remind me of an older sibling who feels like he has to be the strong one while everyone else is weak, so you can stand in the way and protect the ones who can't take a blow. you will endure it... smiles sadly at him... 💙

Limbic System and Ancient Reptilian Brain!! i do love you, i promise, but the voice in my head that tells me i should sleep forever and never wake up has spoken to me for a long time and IM NOT LISTENING ANYMORE!!! we gotta live, little guys. there's a life worth living, worth waking up for. i know it's hard, little guys, but there's a future for us, i promise. also, lovely singing both of you!!

ough. in general i love all the skills. they all want what's best for harry but each of their definitions of "what's best for harry" skew wildly from "live a quiet, normal life" to "learn everything and infodump it to everyone" to "do every drug ever and then drink a whole bar's worth of liquor so you can get dopamine" to "go back to being a gym teacher!" to "FUCKING KILL EVERYONE YOU'RE NOT SAFE HERE" to "it's better in the dark isn't it? where you don't have to worry?" and im trying to understand all of their motives. i do love all of them. skills fan forever and ever <3333

OKAY THATS ALL THANKS FOR READING o7!!

[voidscarredadjudicator]

A VERY lengthy ramble about Salmonids, Grizzco, and Big Run.

Aaaand this is the follow up to my previous long post where I talked about the new Drizzle Season maps with my stream of consciousness observations. It is long. I am sorry.

Now, I seem to be in the minority when I say that I absolutely love Big Run as an event. I sort of get this vibe that a lot of people aren't happy with it, and considering how infrequent it is compared to Splatfests, I can't say I blame them - especially considering how stacked against the odds the reward system is. Like, top 5% of the entire playerbase for a gold statue? The playerbase of one of the best selling Nintendo games of recent memory? That's a lot of people who're gonna be left in the dust simply by design. I honestly can't fathom why they made the PvE gamemode's event more competitive than the PvP one, but for someone like me? Between the two, I do enjoy Big Run more. I prefer mastering a difficult challenge with a rare accolade to prove it over the stomping/getting stomped that comes with Splatfests.

So yeah, there's gonna be a Big Run arc in Humanity's Endling. I am biased. I will admit to this. In fact, I'm even willing to spill the beans on the fact that Act II is the Big Run arc. You may think it odd that the Big Run arc is gonna be happening before the inevitable Alterna arc, but keep in mind that you are technically able to experience Big Run before the main story. In fact, the original trailer for Big Run sorta inadvertently hints at this since Mr. Grizz's radio is still the bear eating the fish, rather than the new one you get after clearing the main story. Now obviously, that's likely the case since Nintendo didn't wanna spoil that detail, but it's worth keeping in mind that the main story can just... never be done on a save file. Could be the final damn Splatfest of S3 before some asshole decides to actually do something about Cuttlefish lurking in the manhole, y'know?

Anyways, Um'ami Ruins as a Big Run map is... interesting. The first three maps we've had have all had some obvious way for the Salmonids to arrive - Wahoo World is on the coast, Inkblot was built on a river, and Undertow is literally the sewers, but Um'ami?

We are in the desert. There is no water.

...or is there?

Now, bear with me for a second, because I'm gonna go full detective here. Full theorist. A game theorist, if you wi- *gets shot*

Why would the Salmonids even want to attack these ruins to begin with? Do they have some kind of deep rooted cultural vendetta against the people who built this place? Is there some sort of ancient artifact interred within these grounds which holds unfathomable power? Are the Salmonids simply stupid?

No, no, and no comment. It's a lot simpler, actually.

They're not after the ruins. They're after the town next to the ruins.

That clearly isn't Splatsville. It's nowhere near big enough. It's just some tiny town in the middle of literally nowhere that just so happens to border these ruins, and is likely where the excavators and archeologists that are working here live. Additionally, such a town in the middle of nowhere would need some kind of way to get water, and there's this cool invention made by none other than Mario "Jumpman" Mario himself (source: trust me) called 'motherfucking pipes'. Those pipes probably run under/around the ruins - hell, those pipes getting built might even be how the ruins got discovered in the first place - and the Salmonids, being the chaos incarnates that they are, hitched a ride.

But if that's the case, why are we fighting them in the ruins? One of two reasons: they're trying to secure the ruins as some sort of outpost first and we're stopping them before they do that, or Grizzco is actively countering them by cutting off their advance at the ruins themselves. I'd imagine there's likely some sort of measures at play as well to cut off the flow of pipes for the exact situation of, "oh god there's hundreds of fish climbing out of my toilet", which would even explain how all that water gets there. The waterways are closed; wherever it wells up is where Grizzco moves in, as that's the only place the Salmonids can emerge.

That's probably why the alarms were going off in Undertow Spillway, beyond a literal 'perimeter breach' alarm. They likely closed off every waterway going to/from the place to contain the advance, it gets dangerously close to overflowing, alarms start ringing... this is right underneath the city. Shit was dire.

Big Run is a phenomenon that is as much a natural disaster as it is a literal act of war. We get to play as the soldiers, since that's the 'fun' part, but like with any hurricane, tornado, typhoon, forest fire, flood, or earthquake, there's so many moving parts to the response that a lot of people don't know about. First responders, evac, medical, meteorological, just to name a few.

A lot of people seem to be under the impression that the Salmonids are just hapless victims of Grizzco, and Big Run is just them striking back after dealing with Grizzco for so long, but honestly? I disagree. I mean, Grizzco ain't exactly squeaky clean, that's for damn sure, but the Salmonids aren't all that great either. They have their own culture and belief system for how the world works, and part of that culture is one that idolizes combat to the point where they'll attack in droves simply because the clouds dictate. If anything, they probably respect Grizzco and it's workers to some degree for being such formidable opponents time and time again.

Big Runs have been happening long enough for them to be mentioned in what's more or less the closest thing to an in-universe equivalent of the Bible, so their aggression is pretty heavily and historically documented. And clearly, they have no interest in joining the wider society outside of their clans in their murky waters (with Little Buddy being an extraordinary exception). Every sect of their society is trained for fighting one way or another; the smarter ones build and pilot weapons, the stronger ones are commanders, and they even have a place for the inexperienced where they serve as the snatchers. Their entire belief system is predicated on the idea that conflict makes one whole, that fighting and then dying is a process that lets them serve the cycle of nature. It's so deeply engrained into their way of life that they arm their children and send them to fight and die as well. They're a proud warrior race, through and through.

Does that justify Grizzco moving in to take their eggs? Because keep in mind, the Splatoon universe is also undergoing a constant energy crisis, and while we know Grizzco is doing shady stuff with the Golden Eggs... we're still collecting Power Eggs, too. In fact, that's literally the name of the job position - 'Freelance Power Egg Collector'.

On top of that, Grizzco isn't really keeping it secret. They're very open about what exactly is done. You go in, you fight Salmonids, you get their eggs, and you come back. It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. It's legal, somehow.

Grizzco is likely providing legitimate aid for society through egg collection, which is probably how it's been able to grow to begin with - despite it being a front for Mr. Grizz's own schemes. Not only that, but society relies on Grizzco during Big Run. You can hate them all you want, but they're the ones who're making sure you still have a city to live in and power to run your damn internet.

But also, it's clearly not impossible to have some kind of positive relationship with the Salmonids, as the Octarians have managed to get some kind of trade deal going with them - although as of Splatoon 3, the Octarians seem to be less an actual army and more just the last few groupies Octavio still has after the Squid Sisters pulled some inspirational anime moment hijinks through the power of song twice. It just seems like the only thing the Salmonids are interested in are... more weapons. Weapons that they will then use during Big Run.

Imagine your neighbor breaking into your home and stabbing you with a knife you let him borrow because the clouds 'told him to'. It's... sorta easy to see why the rest of society hasn't really tried doing that. The Octarians probably didn't have much choice - or were at least comfortable with the trade since the Salmonids dwell on the surface, so they wouldn't be affected by their stampede.

Really though, it's a matter of two different shades of gray in constant opposition with each other. Lawful Evil versus Chaotic Neutral. Pick your poison.

If you haven't noticed, I've given this a lot of thought. Kaleb will have a ton to say in Act II about this whole situation. It truly is a uniquely fucked scenario, especially for someone who's world was taken away because of fighting like that... and that's without even getting into the actual things that'll happen during that act.

Before this post gets any longer, I do wanna put out a headcanon that'll be present during Act II, and that's the idea that there's only one Big Run that happens. I find it really weird and frankly absurd that this legendary, prophesized event of utter devastation at the hands of the Salmonids is... a neat, two day event that happens once every few months where they attack a single place and then leave. It's quite literally a biblical event, what's the deal?

So basically, the way I picture it is that Big Run is closer to a week, maybe longer, and basically everywhere is being attacked at once. Like, each Big Run we do ingame is just another theater for the fighting that's happening at the same time as the previous runs. Or, in other words, Wahoo World is under attack at the same time as Um'ami, and Inkblot is under attack at the same time as Undertow, and they're all under attack right now all at once. The fact that Mr. Grizz always acts like you've never heard of Big Run when it starts and the fact that you can hear the fighting in Inkopolis Square no matter the map honestly kinda lends to this idea.

It's just spaced out weirdly in the actual game's event lineup because having Big Run be a week long event that happens only once in the game's entire lifespan would be incredibly stupid from a commercial standpoint. Yes, I am huffing copium.

Anyways, I'm gonna stop myself here because holy shit this is a long post and it's so late that it's early. My sleep schedule is in shambles. I enjoy making these, though. I might do one regarding Alterna & Mr. Grizz himself when we get closer to the Alterna arc. Also I will still be playing Big Run tomorrow. Join me if you dare.

[lobotomyladylives]

maybe a stupid question but where did you learn so much about ufooos.. i feel like all the youtubers aside from like. maybe Think Anamolous are clickbait trash. and theres only so much from wikipedia articles 😭 im sure theres some good books out there about em

It isn't a stupid question! I know it can be daunting to get into such a massive topic where everyone involved already seems like an expert. For me it's honestly as simple as years & years of accumulated knowledge from watching docs, reading articles, & staying up to date with news/discussions that happen within the community (via r*ddit, mostly r/UFO lol). lots of independent research on cases that stuck out to me! though I can't say I always am a Facts & Logic ufohead bc I also will happily watch shit like ancient aliens even though I'm well aware 95% of it (being generous w/that percentage) is nonsense. it's still a lot of fun lol

Anyways idk if you're completely new to the ufo/uap stuff (sorry I'm gonna end up using the terms interchangeably as always bc I can never decide, uap is the updated more accurate term but ufo is the Classic & much more widely recognized) or not but if you need a crash course on what's been happening the past few years here's a useful site! the link below is a timeline of the partial disclosure that's been happening in bits and pieces since 2017 here (aka, the US government admitting that there are strange objects constantly darting in & out of our airspace that they can't explain the origin or mechanics of despite having been studying the phenomenon in secret for decades even as they were constantly denying it-and while there's no doubt that they know more than they're admitting to, I am most definitely not one of those "the aliens & government are already in contact and working together!!1" tinfoils types lol, too ridiculously implausible to seriously consider imo). it's very well organized & easy to read, I would definitely recommend looking through it!

also wanna link to a short documentary on youtube that solely focuses on what I consider to be the most plausible encounter with UAP ever recorded. to me this is as close to bulletproof evidence as the public currently has access to, though it's worth noting that despite releasing these few clips that you'll see in the doc (once they couldn't keep it a secret anymore), the military is still withholding the full, extended, clear videos for reasons they won't really say, not that they need to. we know why. it's bc the full video shows incontrovertible proof that this craft is not of human origin, the type that causes a legitimate mass paradigm shift.

[angels-and-glitters]

I need to COMPLAIN.

This is gonna sound edgy nerdy not so girblogger coded but let me getto out of my silly girlie pop character for a minute i am RAGING.

For context two days ago i suddenly remembered that WEBTOON exists after trowhing it in a black hole in my mind, so i re download it and i start reading one. Apart from the endorphines i forgot a good webtoon gave me,

(whole other talk about redescovering old intrests !!!even if they look silly!!! when you feel a dry mind)

I finished it in a couple of days, and as i usually did when concluding a webtoon, a comic or any possible thing i liked, i start looking for the edits so i can imagine myself being in that universe while playing them.

(its a physical need i swear)

(No judgment let me being a cringy kid at the sound age of eighteen thanks)

(Its a guilty pleasure.)

Getting to the point. I am in DISAPPOINT.

What the fuck are these dry stupid no personality rage triggering edits.

They are MID.

Feel free to be' offended i stand where i stand

What the hell are these kids doing!?!

I had to scroll through YEARS to find the good ones.

So i started my reaserches.

First of all, i got to the sad conclusion that instagram edits are going through extinction.

Back in the days (☝🏻) when tik tok (musically for the ancient) wasn't that big of a thing for edits, you went on instagram (at least i did!!) And they were TOP TIER.

Masterpieces.

I would've hanged them on my walls if they were physical.

They were energetic, fresh, powerful, you could tell who's edits were by they're style because the editor's styles were so different one another.

They fitted the medias perfectly and don't let me start on the transitions.

They were immaculate.

Perfect to the millimeter.

These type of edits made me immerge in the media even more, i had my favourite edits saved, (a LOT), and i watched them every night before going to sleep multiple times, they were a lullaby to the mind.

But on my trip to these new (and few) Instagram edits... I was horrified.

First of all, no character whatsoever is put in these digital scums, the personal style is gone.

Probably due to these ages generations who wants to look the same be one another fit into something precise (I dont have the strength to start another fuss I'll just keep going with my silly polemic) but the transitions.

They are MID MID MID even terrible.

Actually I hate them.

There is not an ounce of effort in those disturbing sliding of images.

There isn't flow, variations,good blends. They all look like they were made by 10 year olds (wich is prob the case) and don't tell me oh it's just the age they'll learn as they grow.

No.

I want the twelve year old freaks that edited like it was they're last day on earth.

Like theyre life depended on it.

Where did they go?!?

What's wrong with this generation? why didn't they pick up the heredity theyre ancestors gave them?

Why did they throw it all away?

Why are they descending into this madness abyss?

And the music choices.

Disgusting

They never match the mood of the fiction, or worse the mood of the edit itself.

And honestly they're just boring ass songs.

Now, what I said about these Instagram edits applies also for the tik tok ones, but with some differences.

First of all, because there's much more editors on tik tok now, luckily there are some exceptions.

Some good stuff that's going on, but for me it's still not enough. From the parameter of the golden age of edits, those edits are just.. average.

The average good stuff you save and lightly watch. Its hard to find an edit that makes you obsessed. It wasn't really back than.

And most of them still lack the personal style, that again, I think its crucial for the ideal enjoyment.

I also noticed that the capability of the editors changes based on wich media the edits are of.

Like for example the editors of jujutsu kaisen (dont ask me anything i didn't see it) aren't doing a so bad job.

Maybe because the target audience is older so are the editors, idk

But it still lacks something.

That sparkle that was there before

The one that made you crave to watch it again and again

Maybe it's just me who's lacking something I had before , and nothing else changed

In conclusion, I think the editing culture ended at the start of 2022.

Idk tell me you opinion so I don't feel crazy thanks!

(Sorry in advance for the bad english i'm not a native speaker or anything)

(Edit not sorry this is a masterpiece I should be employed somewhere my English is near perfection)

[sommerregenjuniluft]

@jegulus-microfic august 22 — vulnerable — 887 words — this one's a little dark guys, they're not good people! You might not like James' characterisation in this one!

(i was writing for aug 21 still when suddenly Family Line by Ethel Cain came on, that's basically all you need to know)

James hates him.

Can’t stand the cool indifference, the perpetually unshakable air of superiority shimmering around him the same way the ancient, powerful magic clings to him.

Loathes when he can’t seem to bait a reaction out of him when all James wants is to fucking hit him somehow. Land a blow, somewhere. Push and prod and search for chips and cracks in his walls until he finds an opening where he can slip carefully placed venom in his words, wrapped as the harmless sort of quips James always veils his malice with in case someone that shouldn’t be listens too closely, like hostile chisel to noble stone under the cover of the dark of the night.

And sure, everyone that knows of him would tell you, James Potter? The embodiment of Gryffindor, that boy is, but honestly, fuck nobility and honor for a moment, because if the only way James gets to kill the Prince is out of the cowardice of ambush so fucking be it, as long as he gets his fingers on him long enough to watch him crumble underneath the grip.

They’re at it again now.

James had been walking back from the library alone, taking the secret short-cut that’s on the Map.

The others had already gone ahead but he still had to finish extra work, History of Magic, which was boring James out of his brilliant mind and he honestly would have rather had someone hit him with a skull splitting hex than succumb to Binn’s stupid assignment, so he’d been putting it off. 

He was irritated and exhausted and had felt a headache forming and that was before he’d caught Regulus slipping out of one of the abandoned classrooms, dark magic practically wafting after him through the slit in the door and before he had time to spell it incognito.

James doesn’t know how it had started, hadn’t paid particular attention to what was coming out of his mouth as long as it was laced with as much arrogance and disdain and backhanded sarcasm as he could muster after that long day. And, what can he say, it felt good. It was healthy giving yourself an outlet for pent up frustration so who better to direct it at than a spoiled little blood-purist that’d harmed his best friend two times over enough.

And James had crossed his arms at the small of his back, aloof and appearing the definition of relaxed, chisel in a tight crip behind his body, unseen to the eyes of the enemy, and had started knocking away quietly drowned out by the sound of rushing wind as his loyal disguise.

And there’s an old proverb about a hot gust of air, not really doing anything, all bark no bite and wasn’t it a beautifully chilly winter’s evening?

Because then James had leisurely stepped his way forward and said something, almost absentmindedly, of course, something he’d picked up from when Sirius had vented to him one too many times.

“— so spineless, do you not question anything you’ve been brought up with in that house? Brainlessly following—”

And the next thing James knows was the tip of a wand digging into his throat and well, how about that, huh. 

He’d picked right up where he’d left off and it barely took five words and then Regulus was shoving him. And wasn’t that curious?

Abandoning the prime hold on his wand in James’ vulnerable position, arms behind his back, defenceless and Regulus had forgone that position in favour of getting closer and being able to touch James.

Slamming him into the hard stone of the castle, grabbing by the lapel of his button down and yanking him back in only to throw him back against the wall harder. Skull knocking and pain blooming instantly, throbbing and racing down his spine. And Regulus was strong to handle James around like that, a Seeker’s built and James could only imagine the slim form of his torso, ropy muscles under lean flesh, and Regulus was seething, spitting insults and flushed skin and wasn’t that something?

And effort always pays at the end of day, doesn’t it? Because James had steadily been walking up and down those damned walls for years, had kept his eyes wide open and attentive, straining his ears and then he’d finally found the vulnerable spot.

Is gleeful in his victory and Regulus keeps hissing and growling at him, all up in James’ face and then their noses are nearly touching and—

Regulus pants, is a little out of breath and has tapered off and James’ grin is falling.

Because the bloodbath only really starts when you’re past the walls and now James has successfully ducked through the hole where the stone had disintegrated and with no idea what actually awaits him on the other side.

There’s a tension in the liminal space between them. 

The bated breath of soldiers, the men of the front line, waiting for the war cry, the horn to blare, the first torch to be risen signalling their inevitable doom, the kickoff- the start of their end.

When Regulus closes the distance between them James thinks he can hear the rumble of magnificent, ancient stone imploding on itself in the backgroun. Can almost smell the grimy dust wafting off the debris in thick clouds of dirty smoke, settling on the back of his tongue with the addictive taste of ruin.

[misc-obeyme]

I'm doing a lot of job searching right now and oh my Diavolo does it suck. I hate that most companies don't seem to at least give you a courtesy email saying they're passing on you.

How do you think job searches in the Devildom would be? How's the job market there? Is it better or worse than here?

I feel like they have an okay job market but I really don't know for sure. Are they gonna count job experience from the human world or only from the Devildom? There's just so many questions I have.

Honestly, I should just ask Solomon to help find a spell to make a literal money tree 🥲

~ Solomon🤍

I can tell you right now that I would be going the money tree route, if that's at all an option.

Job hunting is the absolute worst. You have to apply for hundreds of jobs and then you might get like a handful of responses. It's because they have those stupid software programs now that filter out resumes that don't contain the correct terms they're looking for. Not to be old, but I remember the days when you had to go in person and fill out an application on a piece of paper that you then brought back to someone lol. Okay, that does make me sound super old. Moving on!

As with the human world, I think having connections is likely going to be helpful in the Devildom. If we're considering an MC looking for a job, I can guarantee they are likely to get just about any job they apply for. Because everybody knows MC and nobody wants to get on the bad side of Diavolo or Lucifer or any of the others.

Similarly, I would suspect that if MC wanted a job, all they'd have to do is ask one of those demons and that demon will be able to find them something pretty easily.

But if we're looking at it without MC privilege, then I think it's probably easier to get a job in the Devildom.

This is going to depend on what you imagine their population to be. But I've always headcanoned that while there are a decent amount of demons in the Devildom, there are far less of them than there are humans. Less competition means more available jobs. Less candidates means less of a need to filter out hundreds of resumes a day. Your resume might actually be looked at by an actual demon, rather than tossed out by the software, you know?

If you're a human, I definitely think human world experience would count. Say you're looking for a job as a barista. I imagine the methods of making coffee in the Devildom are similar to how it's made in the human world. You might need to learn to make little tweaks here and there, but if you know the basics of how to make coffee, that's going to help you perform your job. Any hiring demon should be able to see that!

There might be a bit of prejudice involved in hiring a human, though. If you aren't protected as MC, then demons might not want to hire some random human. I doubt there are equal opportunity employers for humans in the Devildom. I just don't think they ever needed to make laws about that.

For a demon, it might be a little different. Like if prejudice against humans is a thing, they won't have to worry about it. And all of their experience would be from the Devildom, so they might have that as an advantage.

However this is the Devildom. And I don't think you'd necessarily need to settle for the same kind of job that you might get in the human world. By this I mean, you could decide to put your magical skills to use and sell potions or something. Maybe you're really good at procuring unusual ancient scrolls and then make a tidy profit off of selling them. You wouldn't need to apply for jobs like that, you'd be working for yourself. And I guarantee no demon is gonna look twice if you're not paying taxes and instead selling them stuff under the table. (I feel like Mammon is rubbing off on me now.)

But anyway, those are my general thoughts! Job hunting really does suck, but I hope you find something soon! Good luck!!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Today's episode was Protection, the one with the... oh gods, it's the Ferris wheel episode. Whhhhyyyy???? It's also the episode where Kagami gets akumatized because Lila somehow convinces her that Marinette is pretending to be a mess around Adrien and, oh, if only.

Real talk, did anyone find the Ferris wheel scene funny? I know people complain about seasons 4 & 5 turning Chloe into a caricature instead of a character, but they're doing it to everyone. The class has gone from Marinette and Adrien's friends who would like to see them together, but still have their own lives to the Adrienette squad whose sole purpose in life is shipping. It's creepy, unfunny, and frankly makes them all look like terrible friends. Even 8-year-olds would know this plan would never work. Who wants to have their first kiss with a captivated audience? It's just gross.

Adrien is also a victim of this. He's always been underdeveloped, but this season reduces him to Marinette's Perfect Boyfriend and it's.... not great. But I'll make this its own post because I don't wanna get too serious here since the episode is anything but.

Then we move on to the funniest thing that season five did: the introduction of the "arranged marriage" plot. Aka, the scene where we learn that Adrien and Kagami are supposed to end up together. Which is hilarious when you actually look at what Tomoe and Gabriel did to get Adrien and Kagami together:

Raised them on separate continents

Did nothing to introduce them beyond sending Kagami to Adrien's fencing team to try out

Did nothing to get them to start dating

Did nothing to support their relationship once it actually got going

Sent Kagami to a different school

Until this episode, I honestly had no clue that Gabe and Tomoe even knew that Adrien and Kagami had started dating. The way Lies presents the relationship, I thought it was a massive secret. Why else would Kagami have to lie about their fencing lessons to get alone time? If these two are supposed to end up together, why were they never sent on parent-approved dates? Were the senticouple designed to just go at it as soon as they saw each other, but Adrien was defective? It would explain Kagami's out-of-nowhere crush on Felix. He activated her Adrien-programming!

This is also another case of the writers forgetting that Emilie is supposed to be a good mom unless we're supposed to think that Gabe only came up with this plan after Emilie was gone? If so, how is he going to explain any of this to her?

Then we get to the part of the episode that actually could have done something clever: Lila tricking Kagami. As-is, Kagami looks like she's breathed the stupid gas that Lila emits for her lies to work. (SO's theory is that Lila is an ancient sentimonster who makes people believe her lies which would make more sense than my gas "theory") If the writers had been smart about it, this was where we could have introduced Lila's multiple identities. Have a random girl "from Kagami's class" be giving Kagami advice. Then the audience thinks it's an objective third party misreading Marinette and not Lila manipulating Kagami for... reasons? As-is, it's just dumb. Why would Kagami believe Lila? How did they even meet? I have questions....

Mild credit where it's due moment: This is also the episode with the Adrienette picnic date and while Marinette showing up in her pajamas felt super forced, Adrien matching her was super cute and I liked their almost kiss. The writers clearly can write these two cute, the hand raise scene shows that, they just chose the drama route instead. Unfortunately, they suck at drama and so does this episode.

[jpitha]

The Dreams of Hyacinth 11

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Nick relays the story so far to Queenie. He talks about boosting the coffin box, finding out it's empty, meeting with Jameson, working with Sunny, the whole story. When he's finished, she's silent a long time.

"Nick, I can see why your ladies like you. You have empathy, and are kind and are generous. Honestly when we first met I was just a twinge sad that Evie wasn't interested." She chuckled. "But Nick, you're kind of dim, you get that, right?"

Eastern nods. "Finally, someone else sees it. Right Sel?"

Selkirk agrees. "Dim as a spent LED."

"I knew there was a reason I liked your girlfriends Nick. They're the smart ones. So, let's get down to it. Both you and Eastern have a full AI suite of cybernetics installed by Jameson's dark doctors, and he didn't even give you a tutorial? That sounds like Jameson. I swear, the AIs are all the same. It's easy for them, so they assume it's easy for everyone. Selkirk, this is going to take a bit, and I think you'll be bored. Why don't you head up front with Evie and see if you two can figure out dinner. We'll be ready to take a break by then."

Selkirk stands. "Sure thing Queenie, thanks for taking care of these two idiots. We'll figure out how to pay you."

Queenie chuckles. "Don't worry, it'll be very affordable."

Selkirk makes her way to the front and finds Evie back behind the counter, watching something on her Pad. "Queenie kicked you out eh?" She doesn't look up from her show.

"Yeah, said I should find dinner. Everyone is going to be hungry when they're done."

Evie nods. "Probably. Even now, when Queenie gets it in her head to do some work, everyone else comes out tired."

Selkirk looks up at Evie. If she squints, she can see the resemblance. They have a similar bone structure in their cheeks. "Evie, I thought most humans died around one hundred or less. She's so..." she struggled to find the words. "Coherent?"

Evie laughed. "She has good days and bad days. You're just lucky today was a good day. But yeah, she thinks the implants are keeping her alive almost as much as her body at this point."

"Where did she get them?"

"Just like she explained. An AI thought they were 'helping' and gave them to her. As you probably guessed by our experience with Nick, running the shop wasn't always out main source of income and Queenie's line of work wasn't exactly... legal all the time."

Selkirk says nothing.

"To hear her say it, it was fashionable to have black market cybernetic mods installed back 70, 80 years ago. I don't know, it seems an awfully foolish thing to do for fashion, but she swears it was 'this close' to going mainstream."

Selkirk glances back down the hall. "I don't know. I've been around humans a long time, and I completely believe that they'd do something stupid like get cybernetic implants for fashion."

Evie laughed. "You're right of course. How long have you been on Hyacinth, Selkirk?"

"You can call me Sel if you want. I've been here, Ancestors, twenty five years now? I moved here from K'lax when I was just a kid. Familial group got together and sent me off to school on Hyacinth." She smiled bitterly. "Go and make something of yourself. Do your family proud!" She shook her head. "I was mostly sent here to get out of the way. The paterfamilias wanted his offspring to take over the leadership of the familial group. An older kit from a deceased line was a... complication."

Evie looked down at Selkirk. "Do you still talk to them?"

Selkirk flicked her ears. "Not in years. I sent them a message back when the Empress Melody shit started going down telling them I was all right and going to stay on Hyacinth, but never heard back so... I stopped sending messages. I'm sure they think they're better off that way."

"Oh Selkirk. I bet there are still people in your familial group that love you."

She snorted. "You haven't met them. I'm sure they don't feel any ill will towards me, but I'm also sure they don't feel anything to me. It's ancient history." She leaned back off the counter. "Queenie said to get dinner so I assume that if we don't she'll be upset."

Evie laughed. "Upset is possibly the most mild way that could be phrased." She took out her pad. "I know some local places that she likes, take a look and tell me which ones would work for you and your crew."

Nick and Eastern came out of Queenies room hours later looking exhausted but pleased. Queenie came out shortly after them with the help of her walker, but she also looked brighter and more alive than when she went in. Instead of going to Queenie's bedroom, they made their way to the front of the store, where Selkirk and Evie had set up a table piled high with takeout from a local place.

Eastern looks hungrily at the food. "This is quite a spread Selkirk, nice work!"

Selkirk flicks her tail and her ears. "Evie helped, but we both decided that you were going to come out of your training hungry."

"I feel like I haven't eaten in years." Nick laughs and sits at the table."

Queenie shuffles to the head of the table and sits. "Now, like I told you, those implants are powered by your bodies. Use them a lot and you need the calories to recover." She poked Nick's soft belly. "It's also a decent way to build a calorie deficit if you ever decide to lose that paunch, Nicholas North," but she was smiling as she said it.

They all sat down and started on dinner. After a few minutes, Selkirk looked up at Eastern and Nick. "How did it go?"

Queenie started gesturing with a fork full of food. "Typical AI. Stuff them full of tech and send them on their way without so much as a lesson on how to work it. They're lucky Nick knew me; they could have had their brains braised by the first aggressive attack they endured."

Eastern put down her fork. "We're very grateful Queenie, thanks for all the help." She looked at Selkirk. "Queenie put is through an initial setup, helped us with our encryption and firewalls and gave us some basic lessons on access and intrusion. Also, she looked at Nick's additional tech that Jameson installed. He could pilot a starship!"

Selkirk blinked and looked at Nick, surprised. "You can pilot a starship?"

Nick looked awkward and shrugged. "According to Queenie, I have additional modules and sensors that are related to piloting starships. She thinks its an upgrade to the old Colony Ship co-captain package."

"But... why? You're not going to be piloting a starship."

Nick shrugged. "Who knows with AIs. Maybe Jameson thinks I'll need it. Maybe he thought it would be funny. Maybe he's making a point to another AI faction that we don't even know about." He put his head down and continued to eat.

Eastern nodded. "You feel it too Sel, we're pawns in a much larger thing here. It's entirely possible that Jameson gave Nick the piloting package to show someone that AIs aren't the only game in town when it comes to operating a ship.

Queenie looked up at the three of them. "My advice is to not try and make sense of what AIs do. They go and do their own thing, they always have. It's up to us to stay out of their way and try and not get burned. Remember what they did when Empress Melody came by? They linked in a pile of their own Starjumpers and attacked her right above us. I remember looking up and seeing the flashes of the fight. It was something else." She shook her head sadly. "I never got to meet the Empress, but I heard she was looking out for everyone in Sol." She looked up at the three of them sharply. "Take heed that lesson though. Keep your heads down, do your work, and don't get involved in AI politics. It's worse than our politics."

Nick glanced at Eastern, but she didn't say anything.

After Dinner, Selkirk tried to pay Queenie and Evie but they wouldn't take her money. "You bought dinner, and you owe us a favor, that's enough." Queenie was firm. Evie smiled. Now, don't be a stranger down here, come by and say hello to Queenie every now and then. I haven't seen her this active in weeks." She winked at the three of them. "You're a good influence on her."

Queenie's cackling laugh. "They're anything but Evie, but they're fun to be around. If you ever need a fence, you see old Queenie first, you get me?"

Eastern assured them that they'd be the first place they stopped when they had some goods to fence and said their goodbyes.

When they left the shop it was late. The Metro ran all night long, but was on a reduced schedule to allow for maintenance. They decided to take an omnibus up to Eastern's apartment. As they rumbled along, Eastern and Selkirk fell quickly asleep on Nick as he looked out the window and watched Hyacinth go by. He mused on what Queenie had said about AI politics. He felt that it was a bit too little too late with that warning. They were being played off two if not three different factions now with no real sign as to the why.

Nick woke everyone up when it was their stop. They made their way home and fell into bed.

The next morning, everyone got up, got dressed and some coffee and tried to come up with something to do. They still hadn't heard from Sunny, so it was just a matter of waiting to hear from her. She had said that she would do fifty hours of searching, and by Nick's reckoning that meant they'd hear from her tomorrow afternoon.

Nick declared that they'd head to the lake today. Since Hyacinth is so large, the original designers decided to put a large lake on each arm. It was a long shallow lake, not more than three meters deep, but that was enough for watercraft and swimming and a small marine ecosystem. The beaches on the lake were a popular destination. Against Eastern's protestations, Nick took the girls shopping. They rode down arm to some mid range shopping in Laurel square and soon enough Nick found what he was looking for. He bought Eastern a black bikini and a sari skirt in blue and yellow, and found a K'laxi style bathing suit he thought would suit her. When Eastern saw what he bought her she blushed. "Nicholas North, you horndog."

Selkirk looked up at the both of them, "What?"

Eastern laughed. "This is what I was wearing when Nick and I were connected together during the surgery. Nick took me on a memory of a beach on Parvati."

Selkirk's ears flicked playfully. "Well, he has impeccable taste, you look great in it."

Eastern stared at Selkirk's suit too. "I will admit Nick has good taste. The suit he picked for you is stunning."

Selkirks tail and ears poofed in embarrassment. "It not a style I would have ever picked for myself, but I admit I look good in it." Selkirk and Eastern went to Nick and both gave him a kiss. "Nice work."

This time, they picked out a suit for Nick. Eastern insisted on a black speedo like in their shared dream and after picking up some towels and headed back out.

The most popular beach was off Dahila square. They grabbed some food to eat later and rode up to Dahila. From there it was a short omnibus ride to the beach.

Growing up in Naya Chennai, right on the water, the beach on Hyacinth was a bit of a letdown. He went to the beach once or twice after he first moved here and while it was interesting to have a lake and a beach in space, it really couldn't compare to the ocean. Eastern, a kid who was born and raised in space loved it though. It was the largest body of water she had ever seen. Selkirk had fun too. She hadn't been to a large body of water since she was a child, so she was enjoying herself too. Nick decided to try and leg go of his opinions about it being a 'real' beach and just have fun.

They spend the afternoon at the beach, sitting on the soft sand, splashing in the water and having a fun time. Nick even convinced them all to rent a watercraft and they zipped around the lake, getting a view of everything. Nick found a small secluded beach far away from everyone else and they stopped and relaxed all on their own.

Eastern declared that she wanted to try having sex on the beach like in the novels she read and they gave it a try.

It was very sandy.

After, everyone ran into the water to wash the sand off and Nick grimaced. "Okay, I think I speak for everyone when I say that I got sand in places I didn't think it was possible to get sand into. Let's keep that one to the novels, okay?"

Selkirk was in the water up to her head scrubbing her fur as hard as she could. "I agree Nick."

By now it was evening and they had to return the rental. They made their way back to the main beach, returned the rental and found a restaurant right on the water to get dinner. Hyacinth doesn't have sunsets, not really, but it was gently getting dark as they ate, and they even heard some animals in the water making noise as it got darker. You had to squint a little, but you could pretend you were on a planet. Nick looked over at his girlfriends and smiled. "Thanks."

"Eastern raised her eyebrow. "For what, Nick?"

"For being here. For being with me. Both of you. This is nice. Sure, we are deep into some shit, but we're into it together. I don't know." He looked out at the water. "It just feels a little more solvable with you two here with me, eating a nice dinner, looking out at the water."

Selkirk flicked her ears and smiled. "It is nice. Thanks to you too Nick. I'm glad we're all here, together."

After dinner, they slowly made their way back to Eastern's place, chatting and laughing. They kept their bathing suits on, garnering a few side eyes on the omnibus, but nothing else.

They made it to Eastern's place and fell into bed, tired and happy.

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