#and I haven’t gotten good sleep for the past week

[paperlignes]

I want to make gifs and crochet and think about nandermo but I gotta work instead 😩😩😩

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 19: Daddy Issues

Summary: Your pack is back home, but things aren't quite as good as you try to make them seem. Some truths get revealed, while others remain in the dark.

Pairings: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 9,337 words

Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, angst, PTSD, flashbacks, nightmares, '09 Ghost's backstory, mentioned abuse/child abuse, still pretty heavy emotionally, language, finally some of the comfort after the hurt, plenty of fluff

A/N: This stupid fic making me cry again. I may have lied about this one not being quite as heavy as the others...it's still pretty heavy, but there are some sweet moments in there too. There is a bit of a time jump in the middle, it's roughly a week long or so. Not much, but it does cut ahead a bit just for the sake of plot and moving things along. Also yeah, I got it done earlier than expected.

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You’re warm. Sweat has begun to form in the creases of your body. You’re wrapped around something solid, something contributing to the intense warmth. The smell of leather and eucalyptus fills your nose as you nuzzle your face against soft fabric. It sends a shiver down your spine despite the heat, your eyes fluttering open. You’re staring at a blurry mass of black fabric, your brain beginning to catch up as you become more and more aware. 

Leather. Eucalyptus. Something distinctly alpha. 

Fuck. 

You’re spooning Ghost. 

He has to be asleep, otherwise he would never let you get so close to him. He would have shoved you off, pushed you back towards Johnny, who you’ve traded places with in the middle of the night. You must have gotten too hot sandwiched between the two betas and tried to escape somewhere cooler. That led to you spooning with Ghost, not that he’s much cooler than the betas. 

You can get away before he wakes up, remove yourself from his personal space before he realizes and forces you away. Avoid the shame and embarrassment of his rejection, his anger at you for crossing that boundary, even just in your sleep. Despite the fact you know that boundary is there, despite the fact you did it unintentionally, you’re not sure you could handle such a rejection right now, even from him. 

You slowly begin to withdraw your arm from around his middle, sliding it back towards your body. If you go slow enough, you should be able to untangle yourself from around him without waking him and avoid a confrontation. 

A quiet gasp is pulled from your lips as his hand wraps around your wrist, keeping you from moving. 

“Don’t.” He says quietly. 

Your heart is thudding in your chest as he tugs your arm back around him, keeping you where you are. Your exhale is shaky as you slowly relax, pressing your face against his back again. You’re not sure what to do. You were expecting him to push you away, get up in disgust and leave because you got too close, you pushed past the barrier he had placed around himself when it came to you. A barrier that got let down only while you’re training, then it’s put right back up as soon as you’re finished. Now here you are, spooning him after sleeping in the same room, the same nest. 

You wouldn’t have taken him for being a little spoon type. 

Your eyes begin to droop again as you lay there, breathing in Ghost’s scent. It’s like a comforting blanket, lulling you into a sense of relaxation, of safety, something you haven’t felt in days. For the first time your mind is quiet, not panicking about what happened, or what could happen. You don’t have to worry about your pack now, because they’re here with you again. 

You drift off to sleep again for a while, sleeping soundly in the cocoon of safety your pack has provided for you. 

You wake a while later, sticky with sweat. Your back is pressed against Ghost’s, and there’s something draped across your face. You push it away, blinking your eyes open. Johnny has starfished across the nest on his back, his mouth open as he snores. He’s stolen your bear, one arm holding it against his chest, and the other arm had been what was draped across your face. Kyle is curled up on his other side, having moved from the middle to the far side of the nest. John is missing, making your brows furrow. 

You push yourself up to sit, the air in the room almost like a sauna. You rub your eyes, trying to blink away the sleepiness. That might have been the best sleep you’ve gotten since your heat. It was likely the exhaustion taking its toll, paired with your brain finally being able to relax while surrounded by your pack.

You feel like you could lay down and sleep for another ten hours. 

You’re warm, though, sweat causing your clothes to stick to your skin. The blankets have all been kicked to the end of the mattresses, likely ditched early on in the night. You wiggle out of your sweatpants, kicking them off the end of the mattress as well, leaving you in a baggy shirt that you think is Johnny’s. 

You feel suddenly exposed sitting there, your eyes flicking around the room as a chill runs down your spine. John would have noticed if something was out of place, but he could have just brushed it off as you in his room. He had given you permission to be in his space while he was gone, if you needed to. One of them would have noticed if things were out of place in their rooms. Ghost would likely notice, since you haven’t been in his room at all. 

You lay back down on your back, staring up at the vent on the ceiling. The cover is in place, and no matter how hard you look, you can’t see a camera hiding in the gaps. It doesn’t ease your worry any as you stare up at it, wishing you had your phone so you could at least try to look for one. Though, perhaps it was better you didn’t have your phone with you. You hadn’t been brave enough to pop it open and look for anything strange hidden inside, though you wouldn’t even know where to begin to look, or what to look for. 

You should tell them. What if someone is watching you right now? 

You flinch as John appears in the doorway suddenly, five water bottles tucked against his chest. Your skin is crawling from the thought of someone watching, someone listening in on such a private moment with you and your pack. You hadn’t even thought about it last night, the stress and your fear had taken over your mind. You push yourself back up to sit as John passes Ghost a water bottle, handing one to you as well. You unscrew the cap as John places the other bottles on his desk. Johnny and Kyle still asleep, unaware of the world. 

Unaware of the danger. 

A cold shiver slips down your spine as you gulp down the water. What if someone had entered the barracks last night? You weren’t in your room, and the door wasn’t locked. Anyone could have just walked in and put up cameras again easily. 

One of the guys would have heard someone snooping around, right? You were so out of it you likely would have slept through one of them getting up. What if they were also so exhausted from their deployment they could have slept through someone breaching their space as well. Did Ghost lock the door last night? You can’t remember. 

“Alright, sweetheart?” 

Your head snaps up to where John is leaning against his desk. His brows are slightly furrowed as he stares at you, and you realize you’ve been projecting your scent. With them gone, you didn't have to worry as much. You could stink up a room without a care. It just meant more protection for you. Now that they’re back, though, you have to be more careful. You can’t just go panicking over nothing, not that you should have to panic while they’re here. 

That’s their job, right? Protect the omega? 

They can’t protect you if they don’t know there’s a threat in the first place. 

“Yeah.” You say, gulping down more water to think up an excuse quickly. “Thought I might be dreaming for a moment, that you didn't really come back.” 

John approaches you slowly, kneeling down on the end of the mattress with a quiet sigh. He has to be sore after their deployment. You can tell just by the way he’s holding his shoulders, by the stiffness in the way he moves. You can’t even begin to imagine the kinds of things they did, the kinds of things they went through over the last week. 

John takes your hand, pressing it against his chest. He’s warm underneath the shirt, and you can feel the steady beating of his heart under your palm. “We’re real.” He says, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand as he holds it against his chest. “We’re really here.” 

You stare at his hand where it covers yours. You’ve seen it before, many times. Scarred and rough with calluses. His knuckles are dry and just slightly bruised. Did he punch someone? Or maybe he hit it against something else. 

His hand moves, snapping you out of your thoughts. You fight the urge to flinch as he cups your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin. “You’re thinking too much.” 

You swallow thickly. “Well, I didn’t have much to do this last week besides think.” 

A smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “We’ll try to make life more interesting for you, then.” He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Now, let’s get these two muppets up for breakfast.” 

He pushes himself back up to stand, staring down at Johnny and Kyle, still sleeping. You shift onto your hands and knees, crawling over to Johnny before swinging a leg over to straddle his stomach. You lean forward, planting your hands on either side of his face, his breath catching as he begins to wake up, sensing a disturbance. You stare down at him, watching his eyes flutter before they crack open. The haze of sleep leaves his blue eyes, clarity coming back to him quickly as his lips begin to lift in a grin as he stares up at you. 

“Didnae expect tae wake up to such a sight.” He says, voice thick with sleep as his hands come to rest on your bare thighs. “A beautiful woman on top of me? I must’ve died and gone tae heaven in my sleep.” 

“Even better,” You say, leaning down closer. “Because I’m real.” 

“That ye are.” He says, slowly dragging his hands up your legs, pushing the shirt up as he goes. 

Ghost pushes himself off the mattress, leaving the room so quickly he nearly knocks his shoulder against the doorframe. A frown pulls at your brows as you watch him go, slowly pushing yourself back up to sit on Johnny’s stomach. Guilt starts to well up in you as you stare at the empty doorway. You hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable. 

“Don’t mind him, kitten.” Johnny says, pushing himself up to sit, sliding you backwards into his lap. “He’s still miffed he didn’t get a greetin’ yesterday.” 

“Oh,” You say, blinking in surprise. You hadn’t even thought about greeting Ghost in that moment. You had been so desperate for your alpha, and then swept up by the betas, it hadn’t even crossed your mind to acknowledge Ghost. “I didn’t-” 

“It’s not yer fault.” Johnny says, wrapping his arms around you. “He hasnae been the most...open with ye. It’s his own damn fault for it.” 

“Oh, well, I’ll be sure to give him a big hug when he comes back in.” You say. 

“Please do.” Kyle says, rubbing his eyes where he’s laying next to you. “I’ll pay to see his reaction.” 

All three of you burst out laughing, Johnny pressing his forehead against yours. “Missed ye, kitten.” 

“Not as much as I missed you.” You say, pouting. 

Johnny chuckles, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. His hands slide to your hips as he presses another soft kiss to your lips, and then another. 

“Let me get in on some of that.” Kyle says, pushing himself up to sit. He grips your chin in his hand, turning your face to his before pressing his lips to yours. 

His kiss takes your breath away, deeper and more passionate than Johnny’s had been. You hum against his lips as Johnny’s grip on your waist tightens. 

“Christ almighty.” Johnny breathes, staring at you and Kyle as you kiss. 

“Alright, you three.” John says as the air in the room starts to turn musky with arousal. “Let’s feed our omega first before we get too carried away.” 

Kyle pulls away from you, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. 

“Can we...eat in here again?” You ask, wrapping an arm around Johnny’s shoulders as you turn slightly to look up at John. You had almost forgotten about his presence, caught up in the attention from your betas. The thought of him watching the three of you has a different kind of thrill racing down your spine. 

“Of course.” John says, bending down to kiss you. 

Both Johnny and Kyle groan at the sight of their pack alpha kissing you, Johnny’s cock twitching in his boxers beneath you. You press a kiss to Johnny’s cheek after John pulls away from you before pushing yourself up to stand. You stretch your arms over your head, the shirt riding up a bit, giving both Kyle and Johnny a good view of your legs. The musky scent of arousal intensifies in the air as they stare at you, Johnny licking his lips hungrily. 

“Alright, get out of here you cheeky little minx, otherwise they’ll never get out of bed.” John says, gently guiding you from the room. 

You can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips as you leave John’s room, stepping out into the hallway. It’s much cooler outside of the room, goosebumps forming on your legs. You have half a mind to go back to your own room, but you find yourself unable to even approach the door. Memories of the fear and your panic come flooding back, the thought that someone might have snuck inside, someone might be waiting for you in there snapping to the front of your mind. It’s a ridiculous thought. Someone would have noticed if there was an intruder, if there was someone who shouldn’t be inside creeping around. 

Your gaze flickers from your door as Ghost makes his way down the hallway, his clothes changed from what he’d been wearing to sleep in. You bite your lip as you stare at him, meeting his gaze. Perhaps it's the fear driving you forward, or maybe you’ve gone slightly crazy in their absence, but you find yourself approaching him, making him stop in his tracks. 

He eyes you as you approach, your steps quick as you try to avoid chickening out. Your mind is repeating Johnny’s words over and over in your head, an explanation for Ghost’s behavior yesterday, and obvious annoyance at you and Johnny this morning. You wonder if he’ll take it as a threat as you get closer to him, if he might snap and defend himself. He’s completely still, not even his chest moving. He’s watching you like a predator watches its prey, waiting for your next move. 

It’s like hugging a tree as you wrap your arms around his waist. He’s stiffer than a board as you hug him, resting your face on his chest. Leather and eucalyptus and musk all float around you as you press close to him, his scent enveloping you in a hug, even if his body doesn’t follow suit. 

“What are you doing?” He asks, his voice rumbling deep in his chest. 

“Hugging you.” You say, tightening your hold around him. You’ve been this close to him before in your training, but this feels different. “I’m sorry for not greeting you on the tarmac. I wasn’t really thinking clearly at that point.” 

He lets out a quiet sigh, something you probably wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t so close to him. You can imagine it’s a sigh of exasperation at Johnny for spilling about his feelings. “It’s fine.” He says, awkwardly patting your back. “Don’t know why you would have wanted to.” 

“Well, you are part of the pack.” You say. “That should be enough reason.” 

You nuzzle your face against his chest, his scent going straight to the back of your brain. Your omega wants to roll in it, cover herself in it until it’s all you can smell. The intensity of his scent has something in your hindbrain purring, the sound rumbling through your chest. 

Ghost puts his hands on your shoulders, pushing you back from him. You blink up at him blearily as your mind begins to clear a bit with the distance. “At least put some pants on before you completely lose it.” He grumbles. 

A small smile tugs at your lips before it falls at the thought of having to go into your room. You turn to face the door, your vision almost tunneling as you stare at it. You don’t want to open it. You don’t want to go in there. 

“Ghost?” You say quietly before he can walk away. 

He turns to look at you, his eyes squinting just slightly as he frowns. “What?” 

“Will you...will you open my door for me?” You shift your weight, knowing he’s going to want a reason, an explanation for your behavior. 

He turns fully to face you, shoulders squared as he slowly approaches, suddenly on the defensive. “What is it?” 

You shake your head. “Just a feeling.” 

He steps between you and the door, wrapping his fingers around the handle before he swings it open, scanning the inside. His shoulders relax just slightly and you let out a breath of air. There’s no one inside. No one’s waiting for you. No one broke in last night. 

He takes a step back before turning to you. “Nothing.” 

You let out a sigh of relief, staring into the space that was once your nest, your safe place. You can feel Ghost’s eyes on you, waiting for an explanation for your behavior. You can’t tell him the truth, despite how easy it would be. You could confess right now, admit to what happened, what you did, the mistake you made. You could drop to your knees right now, beg for forgiveness for what you did. 

“It was hard...while everyone was gone.” You say. It’s not a lie. Not entirely. “Made me uneasy, being alone here. Kept thinking I was hearing things.” 

He doesn’t believe you. You can see it in his eyes. He knows your lying, he knows you’re withholding the truth from him. You aren’t, you just aren’t giving him the whole truth. You had felt lonely, you had been on edge even before General Shepherd arrived and your room was bugged. Being alone was hard. Harder than you thought it would be. It would have taken its toll on you, even without the stress of your space being invaded multiple times. 

You should have told someone. You should have called Dr. Keller right away. You should have never opened the door in the first place. 

“Thank you.” You say, slipping past him and entering your room. 

He stands there for a few breaths, watching you warily as you open your closet, looking for something to wear. You ignore him, acting like he’s not there, but you can’t hide the squaring of your shoulders, the stiffness of your movements. You’re not sure you could resist if he pressed, if he tried to force you to tell him. You’d spill immediately, even without him using his alpha against you. 

The thought has another chill racing down your spine. 

Your omega is on edge as you change with the door open, not caring as the guys move around, getting dressed to head out to grab breakfast for everyone. You hate how inconvenient it must be, but you still don’t think you could handle being in the mess. Not yet. Not so soon. You’ll have to eventually, otherwise they’ll think something is up, happened, and then they’ll start questioning. 

You couldn’t handle an interrogation. Especially not their disappointed and angry faces when you confess to what you did, the mistakes you made, how you allowed someone to walk in so easily. How you left so easily with a stranger. They’d never trust you again. 

They won’t trust you if you keep things from them either. 

They have to know. They have to know General Shepherd came to base and talked to you. They have to know about you meeting their superior while they were away. A high ranking General couldn’t just be on base without someone knowing, and why would he hide it? He had come to check in on your progress and how you were settling in with your pack. He would have included your pack in that questioning as well, right? Besides, there has to be cameras everywhere on base. Someone would have seen you and let them know. 

There’s no way they don’t know about it. 

You stand in the doorway of your bathroom, staring at the cabinet where the broken cameras and recording devices are hidden. They’re broken, you ensured that. They’re hidden away, buried under enough stuff no one could find them unless they were purposefully looking for something. 

You let out a breath, trying to relax as you finish your morning routine. It’s over. There’s nothing that can be done now. All you can do is try to move on, try to mend the fraying bonds with your pack, heal the sense of fear and unease surrounding your safe space. 

Maybe Dr. Keller could help. You could admit everything to her, everything that happened while she was supposed to be watching you. If you had just gone to her office that afternoon, perhaps things would have been different. She would have known, but that wouldn’t have stopped the cameras from being put up. It would have just made it easier for them. Maybe they might have finished the job properly, and you wouldn’t have even known. Even if you had called Dr. Keller, what kind of argument could she have made against a Commanding Officer? 

If you told Dr. Keller now, she’d tell your pack. She’s promised to keep everything between you confidential, but would something like this be an exception? Would she tell your pack anyway because she thinks it’s the best course of action to help you? 

You want to cry. Tears are welling in your eyes as you stare in the mirror. You hardly recognize yourself. You look tired, strung out, sickly almost. Are you not, though? Is that not how you feel? You know omegas can get sick from stress sometimes, if it gets to be too much. You don’t want to get sick. You don’t want to be more of a burden than you’re already being. They have to be so tired after their assignment, and here you are making things harder for them. 

“You alright, love?” 

You jump, letting out a shriek as you whip around to face the door of your room. Your heart is racing as you slap a hand over your mouth, staring wide-eyed at an equally surprised Kyle. You let out a breath, slowly lowering your trembling hand as you try to calm yourself. It’s just Kyle sneaking up on you. Not a stranger. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” He says, brows pinching in a frown. 

“‘S okay.” You murmur, turning off the light before leaving the bathroom. “Was lost in thought.” 

“The others left to grab food.” Kyle says. “They’ll be back shortly.” 

You nod, trying hard not to make your trembling too visible, or give any hint at your discomfort. “Okay.” 

You stare at him as he leans against the doorframe. He hasn’t entered your room. He’s still standing in the doorway. The thought has a lump forming in your throat. Your bonds have frayed so much he doesn’t even feel comfortable entering your space anymore. There’s a wall up again, and you’re only forcing it higher and higher. 

“Come on.” He says, holding his hand out to you. “Let’s go to the rec room.” 

You take his offered hand, letting him pull you from your room. The door clicks closed behind you as you let him lead you down the hallway and away from the place that’s become fuel for your nightmares. 

Kyle sits down on the couch, pulling you down on his lap. You wrap your arm around his neck as he wraps his arms around you, enveloping you in his warmth and scent. 

“I’m sorry for startling you.” He says softly, bringing your other hand to his lips so he can press a kiss to your wrist. 

“It’s not your fault.” You say, leaning your head against his shoulder. “Been on edge since everyone left.” 

“I bet.” Kyle leans his cheek against the top of your head. “We’re here now. We’re gonna fix that.” 

“What happens when you have to leave again?” You ask. 

“You won’t be alone again, that’s for sure.” A different voice says. 

You nearly jump out of Kyle’s lap as John appears in the doorway of the rec room, Johnny and Ghost right behind him. Kyle’s arms are the only thing keeping you steady as your heart nearly beats out of your chest. You’re not sure how much more you can take, intentionally or unintentionally. 

“I spoke with Kate this morning.” John says as he sets the food he’s carrying on the coffee table. “We’re going to do everything in our power to avoid having you left alone again. At least one of us will be staying behind with you from now on.” 

Your brows pinch a little. Is that why he had been absent from the nest earlier? You’re not quite sure what to feel. On one hand you’re relieved at the thought of not having to be alone again, but on the other hand, you don’t want to disrupt their lives, their jobs. You wonder just how hard he had to fight to even get Kate to agree to something like this. 

You also feel a bit afraid that they know, they figured out what had happened and that’s the reason they don’t trust to leave you alone again. You’ll make another stupid mistake or another risky decision that might cause you actual harm next time. 

Kyle eases you off his lap and onto the couch beside him. Johnny sits on your other side, squishing you between them as a tray is passed into your hands. You don’t feel very hungry as you stare down at the food, but you know after a meager dinner last night, you need to eat. You won’t be doing you or your pack any favors by being hungry. 

It’s quiet in the rec room as you eat. It’s almost eerie how silent it is, aside from the occasional scrape of silverware on the trays. You begin to float back into the time when they were gone, the haunting silence that had settled over the barracks in their absence. Everything had seemed so still, not peaceful, but more like the very walls were holding their breath. 

Perhaps it was in anticipation for what was to come. Perhaps somehow the very walls knew they would be beached, the safety they once promised would be upended. 

Or maybe you’ve just gone crazy. 

You shift forward on the couch, careful not to tip your tray over as you grab the remote from the coffee table, turning the TV on. 

“Finally! I couldnae handle the silence much longer.” Johnny exclaims, letting out a relieved sigh. 

The corners of your lips pull up in a smile as you pass the remote off to him, letting him search for something bearable to watch on early morning TV. You’re glad at least you weren’t alone in your distaste for the silence. You curl up closer to Gaz, reminding yourself that it’s not a dream, that they really are here. They really did come back. 

Now you just have to move on and put the nightmare of what happened behind you. 

As the days pass, things begin to return to normal. The guys start their normal routine of training and running drills almost immediately. To avoid being stuck in the barracks alone, you ask to go with them, blaming it on the distance and your need to be clingy still. At first you were afraid someone would take advantage of the barracks being empty again, but every search has come up empty handed. No more cameras, no more recording devices. 

Whoever it was who planted them must have given up, or perhaps the risk of doing it with the entire pack back on base was too high. 

Despite this fact, you spend the least amount of time in your room as possible. Even when you can’t go to watch them train or run drills, you spend your time in John’s room, or in the rec room. At night you rotate between John, Kyle, and Johnny, opting to sleep with them over spending a night alone in your room. 

As you discussed, you begin seeing Dr. Keller twice a week. You’re not quite sure what she told John to convince him it was necessary, but whatever it was, it hadn’t given away any of your secrets. It probably hadn’t taken much to convince him to say yes, given your current state and his worry about you. 

You know he’s worried. You can see it when he looks at you, like you might snap if he stares too hard. You’ve seen the way his hands twitch when Johnny holds you too tightly or gets too rough in his affection, like he’s worried you might shatter.

It’s reassuring to see the distance has not just affected you. Johnny holds you tighter than he used to, Kyle stands closer to you like he’s trying to fuse you both into one. Even Ghost has started hovering closer, using his hands to steer you and guide you when you’re around others that aren’t part of your pack. 

You’ve started eating in the mess again, knowing you can only avoid it for so long before they’ll start getting suspicious and asking questions. You still feel paranoid, being around the other soldiers on base. You can’t help but be suspicious that it was one of them that planted the cameras, that it was one of them that tried to get into your room that night. Who would willingly breach such sacred ground and invade an omega’s space like that, you couldn’t even begin to guess.  

Sure, some of them still stare at you, but most of them now ignore your existence. You’re no longer a spectacle, not after a few weeks on base, not that you’re a claimed omega now. 

That won’t stop some alphas. 

Going up against your pack, though? That would take one hell of a cocksure alpha. 

Just like the one that invaded your safe space. 

It had to have been an alpha. Sure, that beta soldier had entered the barracks, but to go so far as to put up cameras and try to come back and get into your room? That takes a special kind of audacity, something only an alpha could possess. 

So life has gone back to normal, or at least as normal as it can be after what happened. 

The return to normal hasn’t all been good, though. Your nightmares have returned, coming on quickly as soon as you began to settle into routine again. The real nightmare has passed, so now your mind has to plague itself with nightmares that have already happened. Things that can’t even hurt you anymore. 

You start avoiding sleep again, despite your work with Dr. Keller, too afraid to risk having a nightmare in front of one of them again. The last thing you need is to have to spill about your nightmare. You might not be able to stop and wind up spilling about what happened while they were gone too. 

Unfortunately, things don’t work that way. They never work that way for you. 

Someone is screaming. Your body feels like it’s being constricted by a snake, crushing and painful as you’re clutched desperately against your mother’s chest. She’s the one that’s screaming, the sound hurting your ears. Your face is pressed against her shoulder, into the softness of her sweater. It’s the pink one, the one she made. Her favorite. 

There’s knocking coming from somewhere, a door handle jiggling. It’s locked, but you can hear someone trying to get in, multiple people based on the voices from the other side. You don’t know who it is. You don’t recognize any of them. You can’t even make out what it is their saying, if they’re saying anything at all. The voices sound more like the unintelligible roar of monsters, the ones you used to be afraid of as a child. 

Everything is muted by the blood pulsing in your ears, drowning out everything but the jiggling of the door handle. Someone’s trying to break in. Someone is breaking in. You can make out the thuds against the door, the desperate attempts to get inside, to get to you. 

The arms around you tighten, pressing your face harder into the soft yarn of the sweater. You inhale the familiar scent of brown sugar and vanilla, the scent surrounding you and enveloping you in a sense of safety. Nothing can get you. Nothing can hurt you. 

That’s not true, though. You know it’s not. 

There’s a bang as the door is finally forced open, the screaming getting louder as footsteps enter the room. You’re shaking, trembling in your mother’s arms as she clings to you desperately, just like you used to cling to her when you thought there was a monster under your bed. 

The monsters were real, you realize as you desperately cling to your mother, just as tightly as she’s clinging to you. 

Hands grab at you, claws digging into your skin, tentacles wrapping around your body, trying to pull you from your mother’s grip. You can hear her pleading, begging, screaming at them not to take you, not to separate you. You’ll never see her again if they manage to pull you from her. They’ll take you away, hide you away, keep you from the warm comfort of her embrace. 

You let out a scream of your own as you’re yanked from her grasp, your arms reaching for her as the monsters pull you from the source of your safety and comfort. The last thing you see is your mother’s grief stricken face before the door slams in your face. 

A scream tears from your lips as you’re pulled from sleep suddenly. You’re falling, hitting the tile floor with a thud. Your shoulder cracks against the unforgiving floor, making you yelp. The blanket has tangled around your legs, rendering you immobile from the waist down. 

The frantic pounding of boots on the floor meets your ears, seconds before the four members of your pack are sprinting into the rec room. Their faces look just as frantic as their steps had been, concern laced with fear laced with worry. You hadn’t even realized they’d returned already. They had been at their afternoon drills while you stayed in the rec room watching TV, slowly succumbing to the exhaustion that’s been plaguing you. 

“What is it? What happened?” Kyle asks, moving to step forward but John beats him to it. 

“Fell off the couch.” You say, pushing yourself up to sit, wincing at the pain in your shoulder. There’s tears sliding down your cheeks despite you fighting the remnants of your terror and pain from the nightmare. 

“I think there’s more to it than that.” John says, kneeling down in front of you. 

You want to confess everything. How you haven’t been sleeping well for weeks now since your heat, how you keep having horrible nightmares about your past, what happened while they were away, how the nightmares have returned. Your breath catches in your throat as you stare at John, the tears sliding down your cheeks as you give up trying to control them. Guilt plagues you as you stare at the worried face of your alpha. He just wants to help you, he just wants to take care of you, but he can’t if you’re keeping things from him, if you’re lying to his face. 

“I had a nightmare.” You say quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. You clutch your arm to your chest, trying not to move your shoulder too much. 

John lets out a quiet sigh, his fingers lifting to press against your shoulder, feeling around the joint. You wince as he hits a tender spot, the pain sharp, but not horrible. You’ve certainly felt worse things. 

He turns to the others behind him, all of them staring at you with equally worried looks on their faces. “Get me an ice pack.” He says before turning back to you. 

He lifts you off the floor, placing you back on the couch before untangling the blanket from around your legs. Johnny grabs an ice pack as Kyle moves to sit next to you on the couch, draping his arm across the back, projecting his scent to try and help you relax. John sits on the edge of the coffee table, staring at you. Despite the worry still present on his face, his eyes are sharp. You can’t help but feel like you’re suddenly in an interrogation. They’ve done this before, probably many times, though likely not as gently as they are now. You’re terrified still at the way they shift so easily into the mindset of a soldier. You can’t even imagine what it would be like if they were serious in their interrogation of you. 

“How long have you been having nightmares?” John asks as Johnny takes a seat on the other side of you, passing you the ice pack. 

You press it against your shoulder, trying to keep your thoughts straight. You have to try not to spill anything, try not to confess to all of your sins, all of your stupid mistakes now. Your gaze drops to your lap, avoiding the looks of the two alphas staring at you. Ghost has moved to stand behind John, his arms crossed as he watches the exchange. You can feel the pressure of their gaze, the sharpness of it digging into your skin like knives. 

“A couple weeks.” You admit, unable to even think of a lie. You don’t want to lie now, not with them staring at you so intensely. They’d know. They’d be able to tell before the words even left your mouth. “Since my heat ended.” 

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding sleeping?” John asks. 

You wince at his question. Of course he noticed. Why wouldn’t he? He’s been trained to notice weaknesses in others, gauge the capabilities of his men. Of course he’d notice you’re more tired than usual, not sleeping quite as much. He probably even knew all the times you woke up in the night when you slept next to him.  

You nod, still staring at your lap, too afraid to see the disappointment in his eyes. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He breathes, almost sounding upset. 

You’ve made a mistake in keeping this a secret. You regret it as soon as you hear the emotion in his voice. He thinks you don’t trust them, he thinks you don’t trust your alpha. You need to tell him. You need to tell him everything, but the fear keeps you paralyzed. How much more upset will he be when you confess that you kept such a major event from him, from all of them? 

A quiet sob leaves your lips as you sit there, terrified of the reprimanding you’re sure to get. The shame burns hot in you, the reminder that you’ve disappointed them. You’ve let them down and now they won’t even trust you to tell them anything. 

“We’re not mad at you, sweetheart.” Gaz says, shifting his arm so it’s wrapped around your shoulders, his thumb brushing the hand that’s holding the ice pack to your shoulder. Johnny shifts just slightly closer to you, both of the betas projecting their scent around you, trying to cocoon you in their comforting presence. 

“I just want to know why you felt it necessary to hide something like that from us.” John says, his voice softer than it had been before. 

“I didn’t want to bother you.” You find the words spilling out before you can stop them. Maybe it’s the exhaustion or the fear or your brain finally getting tired of holding everything in. This is your moment to let out a little steam, to finally release some of the pressure that’s been building. “My nightmares are nothing compared to the ones you all probably have and it’s stupid and I shouldn’t even be having them, it’s been years since the last time I dreamed like this, and I don’t even know why they’ve come back now.” 

“No nightmares are stupid.” Ghost says, stepping up closer to the coffee table. 

“We’re here to help you.” John says, leaning his elbows on his knees. “We can’t do that if you don’t tell us what’s going on.” 

Guilt burns through you at his words. He’s right. You should be honest with them, tell them everything. They can’t help you, they can’t keep you safe even from the things that plague your mind if they don’t know about them. 

“What are the dreams about?” John asks, blue eyes boring holes into you. 

You feel small under his gaze, like you're a child again, facing down your father after doing something wrong, after making a mistake. You have made a mistake, though. You’re facing the consequences of your mistake right now. 

“The day I left for the institute.” You say quietly, voice hardly more than a whisper but you know they heard you in the silence of the barracks. It feels threatening, like the walls are silently vowing to tell the truth if you don’t. 

Your pack shifts a bit at your words, sharing looks amongst themselves. They have to know what it’s like, or at least heard stories about the trauma of being pulled from your pack to be taken to a strange place, surrounded by others just like you. 

“What happened that day?” Ghost asks, staring down at you. 

You can feel his gaze piercing into you, screaming the silent threat that you’re going to tell them, no matter how long they have to sit here and wait. You don’t have a choice anymore. You have to tell them. 

You’re warm. The ice pack pressed against your forehead does little to soothe the burning under your skin. You’re thirsty, the two empty plastic bottles on your nightstand were not enough to ease the dryness in your mouth. 

Hands shift the ice pack, pressing it against your cheek. Your mother is there, seated next to your bed diligently. She’s crying, tears sliding down her cheeks, quiet sniffles breaking the silence in the house. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispers, bringing your hand to her lips. “I’m so sorry,” She apologizes, as if it’s her fault, as if she brought this onto you. 

She gasps quietly as the door opens, her back stiffening as your father enters. His face is stern, mouth almost twisted with disgust as he stares at you. It feels wrong, having him invade your space. If you’d had the energy, perhaps you would have been brave enough to protest his presence. 

“Come on.” His voice is gruff, worn down from years of smoking and yelling. “Get up.” 

“No, please-” Your mother attempts to reason with him, but he won’t have it. 

“Shut up and sit down.” He snaps at her, and she has no choice but to sit back and be silent. His voice has something tingling in the back of your neck, almost like a warning. There’s nothing you can do, though. You’re far too weak. 

He moves to the side of your bed, grabbing your arm and pulling you up from the comfort of your blankets. The ice pack falls from your head, your skin prickling with warmth almost like it hadn’t been there in the first place. Your brain is sluggish as you try to comprehend what’s happening, your legs giving out as you’re forced upright. You can’t get your body to work, you can’t even force yourself to behave. You want to crawl back under your blankets and lay there for the rest of eternity. 

You whine as you’re dragged from your room, knees knocking on the floor as you attempt to get your feet under you to ease the pain in your shoulder. Your father drags you into the living room, two people you don’t recognize standing next to the front door. 

“Please, please don’t do this!” Your mother pleads with him, right on his heels as he drops you in a heap in front of them. He catches her before she can rush forward to you. How you wish you could have her arms around you again, holding you and comforting you in your confusion. 

“Enough.” Your father snaps at her, looking down at you with disgust. “She’s no daughter of mine.” 

You blink up at him, the words seering through the haze, registering in your foggy mind. Tears gather in your eyes as you stare up at your parents, your siblings watching tensely from the living room as the scene unfolds before them. 

“No, no!” You cry as hands close around your arms, lifting you from the floor. “Mama!” You scream, trying to fight them as you’re pulled from your home, your safe space, your family, your pack. 

Your mother is yelling, fighting against your father’s hold around her, but it’s useless. He’s stronger. He wants this, so no one is going to stop him. She’ll pay later for her actions, her disagreement with him. You won’t be here to see it, though. You’re leaving and you won’t be coming back. 

The last thing you see as the cool air outside washes over your feverish skin is your mother’s grief stricken face before the door closes, locking you out forever. 

You’re dragged into the back of a van parked in the driveway. Two men in uniform climb in behind you before the doors are slammed shut. You curl up in the corner, sobbing uncontrollably. You want your mom, you want to be back in the safety of her arms, the warmth and comforting softness that only she can provide. 

One of the men approaches you, a needle in his hand. You whimper in fear, pressing further back into the corner as he gets closer to you. He forces you down onto your stomach, the pain brief as he injects you with the sedative before he moves back to take his seat. You curl up in a ball, quietly sobbing as the drugs begin to work, your vision going hazy before you’re forced into unconsciousness. 

“I woke up hours later at the institute.” You say, wiping at the tears streaming down your cheeks, but it does little against the cascade of tears falling from your eyes. “Never saw or spoke to my family again. They didn’t even try to reach me, and I know my dad was the reason why. He hated me as soon as I presented.” 

“Fucking hell.” Ghost breathes, hands curled into fists at his sides. You can smell the intensity of his scent above everything, the burning ozone of anger rolling off of him. It makes you wince, even though you know it’s not directed at you. 

“That’s why he wanted to send you so quickly.” Kyle says, his arm tightening around you. 

“How did he get you into FIOT so soon after your presentation?” John asks. 

You shrug your good shoulder. “I don’t know. I didn’t even know he’d be sending me, much less so soon until it was happening.” 

“Christ,” Johnny breathes, gently taking your hand in his. “No wonder yer havin’ nightmares, kitten.” 

“I haven’t had this nightmare since I arrived at the institute. They started there, lasted a few weeks while I adjusted to being there.” You sniffle. “Haven’t had them since, until now. Dr. Keller says it’s because I finally feel safe enough to process the trauma of it happening.” 

John sits up a little straighter. “Is that why she suggested seeing you multiple times a week?” 

You nod. “We’re working on it. I asked her not to tell you, because I did plan on telling you eventually.” 

“I’m glad you told someone, at least,” He says. “And I’m glad you finally told us too. We might not be able to stop the nightmares, but at least now we can help support you in whatever way you need.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” You say, squeezing Johnny’s hand slightly. He was the only one that knew you were having nightmares, but you hadn’t even confessed to him what was going on out of fear he’d tell the others. 

“It’s alright, sweet girl.” John says, leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’m glad it finally came out and now we can help you.” He wipes the tears from your cheeks, his thumb brushing your skin gently. 

The moment is broken as your stomach growls impatiently. It’s past your normal dinner time, your confession having kept you longer than you thought it would. You hadn’t gotten in your afternoon snack either, your body having chosen to nap instead. 

A small smile tugs at John’s lips. “Hungry, love?” 

You nod. “Yeah. Didn’t get my snack.” 

“We’ll go get some food and bring it here, how does that sound?” He asks. 

You nod. “Yeah. That sounds good.” 

He pushes himself up to stand, his knees cracking as he does. You fight the urge to say something, squeezing Johnny’s hand tightly. 

“I’ll stay.” Ghost says, still looking at you. 

John looks down at you and you meet Ghost’s gaze for a moment before nodding. John presses another kiss to your head, Johnny and Kyle pressing kisses to your cheeks before they get up, leaving the rec room to get dinner for everyone. 

Ghost moves from his spot on the other side of the coffee table, sinking down at the end of the couch. You fight the urge to stare at him in surprise. You’re not sure you’ve seen him sit anywhere but in the chair the entire time you’ve been here. 

It’s silent between the two of you for a few moments, aside from the occasional sniffle from you. You wipe the remaining tears from your face, removing the melted ice pack from your shoulder, tossing it on the coffee table. This feels very familiar to you, this position. You’ve been here before, back when you punched the asshole alpha who insulted you. 

“My dad was a real asshole.” 

You turn your head slightly in surprise when Ghost break’s the silence suddenly. He’s not looking at you, his gaze distant, far away. You know that look well. You’ve seen it on him before, and also on a few omegas at the institute. You’re sure it’s graced your face as well many times. 

“He was a trad alpha, real piece of shit who couldn’t control his anger. Took it out on all of us. My mum, my brother, me.” He scoffs. “Mum took the brunt of it, but Tommy and I faced our fair share of it too. He used to bring dangerous animals home and taunted us with them. Made me kiss a snake once. He did all kinds of horrible things to us.” His voice softens a bit in a way you’ve never heard before. You’ve never seen him so vulnerable, not even when he told you about his own nightmares. “I’ve never wanted an omega, because of the things my dad did to my mum. I never wanted a pack either, but...maybe something deep down in me did because I said yes to this whole experiment.” 

The silence hangs heavy between you for a moment. You’re not sure what to say, or if you can even manage to say anything in response to what he’s just told you. You had no idea what his life was like growing up, except that he was also a purebred. 

“I was always too afraid the cycle would continue, that I’d turn out to be another piece of shit, just like my dad.” He says. 

“I don’t think you’re a piece of shit.” You say, your voice cracking a bit. 

He huffs out a breath. “Thanks.” He stares down at the coffee table, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Did your dad ever hit you?” 

You shake your head. “Never directly. He got rough sometimes, grabbing us, squeezing too hard, yanking us around. He never stopped my brothers when they got too rough, though. They liked to wrestle, and I wanted to join because I wanted to spend time with my cooler older brothers. Sometimes they’d forget I was smaller than them and I got hurt a couple times. He never reprimanded them when it happened. I think he enjoyed it more than anything. He mostly just yelled a lot.” 

“Trad alphas only speak the language of yelling and violence.” He says. “If my father wasn’t screaming at us, his fists were getting the message across. Sometimes he’d do both at the same time.” Ghost shakes his head. “Real pieces of shit, trad alphas. Makes me sick, the kinds of things they believe in.” 

“I’m sorry about what happened to you.” You say, fishing for anything to follow up his confession with. Nothing feels right, nothing feels like enough. 

He shrugs. “It happened. It’s in the past. He died a few years ago. Left nothing but a stain behind.” 

“What happened to your mom and brother?” You ask. 

“Tommy got into drugs for a while, but he cleaned up and got married. Mum lives with him now. Still doing well.” He says. 

You’re surprised by his words. You’ve always heard that omegas don’t last long without their alphas. But what if their alpha was an asshole? Is the relief of their death enough to scrub out the grief of losing your alpha? 

You stare at the side of Ghost’s head, your heart thudding in your chest. You feel sorry for him, but at the same time, you’re grateful he shared this with you. You have much more in common than you thought you did with the giant aloof alpha. Maybe, perhaps, this can be a way for the two of you to grow closer, maybe you finally have common ground that you can share with him to get him to open up to you more. You know he wants it. The revelation of his disappointment at your lack of greeting, and the fact he let you hug him is enough to tell you he wants something more with you. It might never breach the realm of romance or even a casual fling, but you can’t deny the bond is there. You can feel it, the tugging in your chest as you look at him, the butterflies in your stomach when he puts a hand on your back to steer you through the crowd in the mess. 

You want him to want you. You want him to open up, to peel the layers back and bare his very soul to you. He’s already started. This confession is the beginning of that kind of bond between you. That he trusts you enough to tell you this makes something flutter in your chest. 

If only he knew you were keeping something worse from him. 

You could tell him. Confess to him right here, right now. Spill it all in this sort of mock confessional, this mock therapy session between you. He’ll be mad, but perhaps after everything that’s transpired today, he’ll be lenient. You’re not sure you could say the same about John, though. 

“Ghost, I-” You start but he cuts you off. 

“Simon.” 

“What?” You breathe, blinking in shock as he turns to face you. 

“My name. It’s Simon.” 

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[fetusgooseandjuice]

Trust Me

Pairing(s): Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: You haven’t been able to sleep in a couple weeks, and Natasha knows just the way to get you to close your eyes.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None? (If anyone finds any feel free to message me!)

Author’s Note: Heyy guys! I know I haven’t posted a fic in like 6 months, but I got writers block and it just never really went away. I’m not sure when I’ll post again, but I’ve had the idea for this fic for a while and I finally got the motivation to write it. It might not be that good but I hope you enjoy it at least a little! Think of it as a little Christmas gift :)

Author’s Note Pt. 2: Also, this is not proofread because I just wanted to get it posted so there might be some spelling and grammar errors!

You heavily sighed once again for probably the fifth time in the past five minutes. It’s been a few hours since you and Natasha had called it a night, and yet here you were at nearly three in the morning still lying wide awake.

Although it’s not as if you were surprised or expecting anything else. You’d been having trouble falling asleep since the first night you and Natasha arrived in Norway.

Despite not having gotten many hours of sleep lately, for some reason you still weren’t tired and still could not fall asleep.

When your girlfriend came to you a week and a half ago and told you she had no other choice but to leave the states in order to evade the government after the whole incident between Tony and Steve, you instantly decided you’d be going with her without a second thought and left no room for her to disagree.

After all she should’ve known you’d follow her anywhere, but you guess it’s taken a toll on you.

You wanted to sleep, and yet you weren’t sure what was keeping you up. Maybe you were worried about something happening to Natasha?

‘What if she gets caught? Or what if we both somehow get hurt?’ you thought.

But you knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself and keeping you safe at the same time.

Even with the amount of times you told yourself not to worry, your mind wouldn’t listen.

You eventually sighed and turned your head to look at the redhead behind you. Her arms were wrapped tightly around you and no matter how much she shifted throughout the night, she never let you go.

The mere thought of that would be enough to bring a smile to your face if you weren’t so frustrated with yourself.

Deciding you’d had enough of laying there awake, you carefully unraveled your girlfriend’s arms from around you and slid out of bed.

You almost shivered at the cool temperature of the trailer as your bare feet touched the floor and you made your way into the kitchen.

The random plastic bags on the counter rustled as you rummaged through them in search of something to snack on, finally coming across a bottle of water and a pack of chips you’d never heard of.

As you went to open the cap of the bottle, a pair of arms slipping around your waist startled you. The yelp you let out made the person behind you chuckle, and you relaxed recognizing the sound.

“Sorry, malysh (baby).” Natasha said and you turned to look at her to see the apologetic look she had on her face.

You gave her a slight smile before shaking your head, “It’s okay. But what’re you doing up right now, Nat? You should be asleep, you need to rest.”

She dipped her head down to press multiple kisses to the skin of your neck, “I could ask you the same question because so do you.”

You should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to leave the warmth of your shared bed without her noticing.

“I just couldn’t sleep.” you said, making her eyebrows furrow as you opened your water bottle and took a sip. “But I know you’re still tired so you should go back to bed, I’ll be there soon.”

“No, not without you.” Natasha was quick to disagree, “What’s going on, dorogaya (darlin)? You were yawning quite a bit before we went to bed. Why can’t you sleep?” she rested her chin on your shoulder, ready to listen to what you had to say.

You sighed realizing that you were going to have to have this conversation now. Your shoulders shrugged, “I don’t know.” was all you offered.

Natasha stayed quiet, giving you the floor for when you were ready to add on. A moment later, you did.

“I haven’t really gotten any decent sleep recently, so I’m not sure why I can’t fall asleep or why I’m not tired.”

Your girlfriend pecked your shoulder blade, acknowledging that she heard you.

“How long has this been going on for?” she asked.

For a second you went quiet, not exactly wanting to answer when you remembered that now that she knew, she wasn’t going to let it go until she made it better.

“Since we left the states.” you admitted.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Once again, you shrugged your shoulders, “I didn’t want to worry you.” you said. “You already have a lot on your plate with this whole situation and I didn’t want to add more to it.”

You heard Natasha sigh and now you appreciated that fact that you weren’t standing face to face at the moment.

“I guess I’m thinking too much.” you added. “At night I finally get the time to actually think about stuff, and I worry about you and if you’re going to be okay.”

Natasha was also glad you weren’t standing face to face right now because if you were, you would’ve seen the way her lips pulled into a smile.

“Well if you’re going to worry about me then I think I have every right to worry about you.” she chuckled and you fought back a smile at it.

“I’m sorry.” you said.

She didn’t say anything for a few moments until you heard her soft voice with that hint of rasp speak up.

“Look at me, krasivyy (beautiful).”

You craned your neck to see green eyes which were filled to the brim with love and tenderness staring at you, the singular warm light above the kitchen sink allowing her to see your sad ones.

The frustration that’d been building up in you beginning to melt away ever so slightly.

“I want you to talk to me about what you’re going through.” Natasha spoke. “I don’t care about what you think I might have going on, you’re always my first priority, okay?”

You nodded as she raised a hand to caress your cheek, brushing a hair behind your ear in the process.

“I love you too much to have you worrying that pretty little head of yours all alone when I’m always right here for you.” she pressed her lips to your temple to emphasize her point. “So promise me next time you’ll tell me if somethings wrong?”

“I promise, and I love you too, Nat.”

“Good,” Natasha smiled and leaned in to connect your lips in a loving kiss, pulling away shortly after and leaning her forehead against yours. “I’m going to be okay, so there’s no need to worry. We’re both gonna be okay, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you agreed. You knew Natasha would make sure of that.

“Alright, do you think you’re ready to head back to bed?”

You weren’t sure how to answer that. Even though you were relieved Natasha knew now and you talked about it, you still weren’t even close to being able to go to sleep.

“No,” you spoke quietly. “I’m still not really tired, and I honestly don’t know if I will be until this all blows over.”

Natasha went silent for a few moments, thinking. She turned you around to face her and moved your arms to wrap around her shoulders.

“Nat, what are you—”

“Shhh,” she interrupted your sentence, “Just trust me.”

So you did.

Her arms snaked back around your waist and pulled you into her. You weren’t exactly sure what she was doing until she began swaying with you from one side to the other.

You’d danced together before, but at Tony’s many parties. Not when you were trying to make yourself fall asleep.

“Nat, I don’t think—”

“You’re supposed to be trusting me. Do you not?”

“I do, but—”

“So shhh,” she said and you couldn’t help the little giggle you let out. “You said you were thinking too much, right?”

“Yeah.” you confirmed.

“So just relax and let me do all the thinking. I don’t want you to worry about anything except trusting me.”

“Okay.” you whispered, giving in and resting your cheek on her shoulder, allowing her to move you.

A few seconds later Natasha began humming. It wasn’t a song that you knew, but you recognized it as one of the many Russian lullabies she’s hummed and sometimes sang to you before.

The way she hummed them always made you feel relaxed and peace, and this time was no different. Because soon you started to lean into her more as you became more and more weary.

Your heavy eyelids fell shut and your head found security in her neck as you cuddled closer to it, happily letting her comforting scent soothe you.

After a couple of songs, Natasha finally looked at you to find you pretty much sound asleep.

She grinned to herself and pecked your head before lifting you into her arms, making her way back to your bedroom.

“Told you to trust me.”

~ end ~

[starofthesea7]

König~Worship the King

Your eyes traced the huge mass of muscle in front of you. Fresh from the field, he looked exhausted, primal- his canvas pants still splattered with mud and god knows what else. Arms shiny with sweat and rain, leg bouncing absentmindedly, his head was still a void, swimming with pictures of death and devastation. His eyes were focused on a bowl of stew, dwarfed by his huge, muscled hands. Pale fingers against white ceramic.

‘You can take the mask off to eat your food, I have to clean up your face anyway. In fact I should look at that first.” Your voice was soft, hesitant. Afraid of startling him, even though little could do so.

Dark fabric folded as he shook his head gently. “After. I don’t want it to…” he searched for the word in English, “to scare you. Yet” His voice was rough and tired, laced thickly with an accent, german. Your heart twinged at his words.

“You couldn’t scare me.” You attempted a reassuring smile. König. King. A very fitting name for the enigma in front of you, and yet in some ways not fitting at all. True he was imposing. Large. Stately. Yet he was gentle, anxious, even, when he was in close proximity to others. Under scrutiny. He was anxious when it came to people, most of all you. He was good at hiding it though, to you it seemed an aloofness, perhaps even a polite disinterest, that he felt towards you. A simple nod in greeting as he passed you was the most you could hope to receive.

Now you stood in between his enormous thighs which he’d spread just far enough apart to avoid grazing yours, the air between them thick with tension. You rolled up his dark sleeve, doing your best to ignore the rippling muscle beneath. They way it flexed which each ascent of his spoon, before it disappeared underneath black cloth, then reappeared, empty. He barely flinched as you dabbed an alcohol pad across the gaping wound on his shoulder. Blood glistened carmine.

Oxymoron was a more fitting name, you thought. Perhaps it was too long for a nickname. He truly was a paradox, though. So colossal, yet reserved. So immense yet quiet, even gentle. He was a man of few words. A wave waiting to crash, or a volcano waiting to erupt.

Your voice broke the silence, surprising you both. It felt small. “Feel okay?” He was nervous, although you couldn’t see it, underneath the mask. He wasn’t really afraid of you, more afraid of hurting you, or scaring you. With his weight. His scars, his is strength.

His eyes raised to meet yours. Although he was sitting, they were level with your own. A cold, pale olive green. “Ja. Thank you. I am sorry for waking you for this little scratch.” When you’d gotten a call that he’d needed a small patch job, admittedly you’d jumped at the chance to see him. You’d been drawn to the Austrian giant since you’d arrived a month ago. You liked his presence, it was safe, a shield to all else. Nothing could touch you with him there. No amount of horny jeering men, or loaded guns.

“It’s not a just scratch, König, its a big gash. And I haven’t even gotten to your face yet. Plus, I couldn’t sleep anyway, I’m happy to do it.” You rambled, feeling the burn of his eyes on yours, studying your face as you concentrated, threading a sterile needle. You stepped forward, into him, bumping his leg. He smelled like earth, and motor oil. Faintly of cigarettes and metallic blood. The heady odour was thick, collocating with the rubbing alcohol of your sterile office.

“Deep breath.” You felt silly, instructing a man who’d murdered countless men in the past week to do a breathing excersise, but he obeyed, the soft, raspy sound making your knees weak, and your imagination run wild. You blinked and regained focus, before puncturing the skin. His eyes fixed on your face, unwavering. You counted the stitches. Eleven, black and neat, in a row. “Aaand…done.” You cut the thread. “And not even a flinch.” You smiled at him, and his eyes crinkled, barely.

You gently rubbed it with ointment and wiped your hands on a towel, blood staining it crimson. You noticed his thighs now resting against yours. They were warm, and dirt from them stained your kaki pants but your hardly cared. “Ok. Ready for the mask?” You felt nervous, more nervous than he looked. It felt monumental, an enigma becoming real, smoke condensing into man.

You’d thought about what he looked like, but only in patches, certain features imagined while the rest of the picture was more of a blurred haze. Pale skin and light eyes. Dark or light hair? A sharp jaw or weak and soft? You couldn’t really imagine him being ugly, and truly, you felt you’d be attracted to him regardless, like opposite poles of a magnet. North and south. Dark and light, soft and hard.

He cleared his throat, and set the empty bowl down beside him. His eyes held yours vehemently, and large hands raised black cloth, revealing a pale, broad column of neck, a white scar gracing one side. You wanted to graze it with your lips. His lips were split, bitten and red. And inviting. A glint of teeth and a jaw, sharp with a whisper of stubble. The cloth clung to a splatter of blood and small cuts now integrated with old scars, and a few pieces of shrapnel that traveled up to a deep, glistening slice. Caked blood ran down his temple. His nose was sharp and slightly crooked, veering to the right in an endearing way, as if it had been broken when he was a child.

Then, his eyes, deep set and soft, framed with long lashes and crowned with sharp brows, one interrupted by a large, aged scar. Finally, hair, light, light brown, almost blonde, with a tinge of red, tumbled out. It was tied back with an elastic, but not long, as if he was in need of a trim, shorter pieces falling across his forehead. His head tilted back as he looked at you, silently, daring you to react to his intimate sign of trust.

You breathed out. It wasn’t what you had expected. His face was, interesting. Attractive. Younger than you’d imagined. A sharp canine pressed into his lip. You let out a breath, and raised a hand to his jaw, feeling it clench beneath your fingers, tilting his face up towards artificial light. His lips parted, adams apple bobbing. “You should’ve let me do your face first.”

“Sorry.” His voice was soft, ragged.

You reached for a pair of pointed tweezers and began removing each piece of shrapnel from his face. The night was quiet, save for for soft breaths. His was hot against your cheek. “König.” Chunks of metal and stone clanged into a small aluminum bowl. He hummed in response.

“You could never scare me.”

He smiled softly at you, slightly crooked.

Without meaning to, your thumb stroked the soft skin of his jaw. His legs tightened against you, barely, but your heart quickened against your ribcage.

Again, you soaked the wounds in alcohol. You could tell it stung. His fingers began absentmindedly drumming against your hip, leaving hot tingles in their wake. You moved to the cut on his lip, he hissed quietly as you made contact with the cotton pad. Your eyes were focused, pupils blown wide as you stared at his lips. His hot tongue peeking out from behind pink bloodied skin.

Your voice was quiet, distant, “You have a pretty bad split lip, I’m gonna put a little stitch in it.”

He swallowed hoarsely, “Okay.”

You were close, so close to him, breaths mingling in the hot air. His scent enveloped you. He enveloped you. You weren’t particularly small, but to him you were. Fragile. The needle ruptured his lip and his hand gripped at your waist, heavy and large. You leaned into him, lower stomach barely grazing the split of his pants. He shifted in thick canvas.

Your hand shifted, cupping his jaw as you cut the thread. His eyes were heavy with fatigue, and something else. You looked at each other with neediness, both in awe of how the other contained all that they could ever want- him to satiate your emptiness, you to soothe his aching burn. A month of passing glances and unsaid words threatened to morph into action; spurred on by the arousal of seclusion and stagnation after the high of adrenaline, the heady scent of blood, metal, alcohol.

You leaned in and felt his hand tighten against you hip, You were inches from him, the air between you buzzed as opposites attracted, pulled you towards him. His mouth widened as he leaned into you. Your soft, plush lips grazed his, barely, and he pulled you into him, emitting a soft sound. Mouths opened wide with need. He was metal, cigarettes and gasoline, the taste and smell making you unsteady, faint. You gripped his shirt tightly, his mass keeping you from falling, or perhaps from floating away.

Deft, strong fingers found the back of your head. Scalp prickling as he pulled at your hair. You were slick.

He groaned slightly into your mouth, and your hands found his hair, fisting it free from the elastic band, copper locks brushing your forehead, stubble brash against your reddening cheeks.

His large warm hand traced from your hip down, raising your leg to straddle his thigh. Hot, hard muscle against your softness. You let out an involuntary airy moan as the seam of your jeans jabbed into your clit, cunt clenching around nothing, deprived and empty.

You lifted your other leg to straddle him fully, clothed cunt contracting at the friction against pelvis, you could feel him, large, hard, heavy and confined. It made you hot with need. You pulled back to stare at him, pupils blown, lips puffy. His hips bucked up into you, searching for friction and release, his brows furrowed. Colossal hands found your waist beneath your shirt, opposite fingers almost touching around your circumference. His fingers were calloused and rough. Feeling his hot skin against yours made you reel with thoughts of at the way he dwarfed you, dominated you with the simplest of actions. The fact that he could fill your emptiness, stretch you to the brink, overwhelm you, crush you- was inebriating.

“I-” he searched for the right words, “I want you. Ich brauche dich.” You smiled at his mother tongue appearing, as it often did in states of intoxication.

You pressed your mouth to his neck, with an open mouthed kiss, feeling the bump of his scar as he swallowed, and looked up at him through wet lashes. Grinding your hips against him, making him groan, cock twitching, hyper sensitive from months of neglect. You maundered, “Let me make you feel good, König.” Your voice was airy and laced with fervour. His eyes were glassy and lidded as he looked down at you, hair falling across his forehead, glistening with sweat. His head swam, the situation feeling far to good to be true, an intoxicated dream or adrenaline spurred hallucination. His blunt fingernails clutched at your waist harshly, leaving half moons in their wake.

Your eyes flickered to a stain of precum darkening the crotch of his thick pants as you rose to your feet, his hands gripped his thighs in restraint, watching you in anticipation. Then, you knelt to the ground to worship your king.

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

Hi!! Can i request a hurt/comfort hotch x reader?

Reader is starting to feel lonely in the relationship cause for the past 2 months hotch has only been home for a week total and she really misses him. They haven’t had time to themselves cause even when hotch is in virginia he’s in the office and him getting called out on a case during his day off happens more often than the both of them want to. and even when they text and call it’s not the same.

anyway hotch comes home in the middle of the night after a case and he just finds reader on the sofa crying cause she just really misses her boyfriend and the two of them finally talk about it.

You have permission to break my heart with the angst and put it back together. I know its long and i have no clue if it made sense so im sorry😭😭 enjoy your day💕

༉‧₊˚. 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭 || 𝐚𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐫

― pairing: aaron hotchner x plus size!reader

― summary: you knew that being with aaron meant that his job came first, you just hadn't realized how badly it would actually affect you. now, your life and love is on the line.

― warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST!!! you have been warned!, thoughts of breaking up, established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, hints of depression.

― wc: 905

⋆ a/n: my first long fic back being angst LMAOOOO. i'm not going to lie, writing this kind of bummed me out a bit but that's how i knew it was going to be good LOL. but never fear, i got a few smutty things in the works, so keep a silly little eye out for that!! i love you guys so so much and thank you for your request!

masterlist | AO3

The room felt melancholic. Empty. 

The sounds of laughter that had once bounced off of the walls of your home now rang silently, one of the only people that knew of the joy that once made your house a home was long gone on a case right now.

You don’t know what to do. How could you last like this? How could your relationship? How could Jack?

Jack, the precious little boy that you had taken under your wing even before you and Aaron had ever made it official. You knew he missed his father dearly, but with every large life milestone the boy had completed, Aaron had missed out on. It had gotten to the point where Jack doesn’t bother to ask you if he could call his dad to tell him about it, because nine times out of ten, he knew that Aaron wouldn’t answer.

So now as you sit here on the couch in the dark with your head in your hands, you can’t help but think that maybe this was it, that it was time to consider the very dreaded other option. 

You tried your best to make your relationship with Aaron work, God did you try, but having to sit there and endure weeks of radio silence, of not knowing whether or not he was alive was excruciating. When he did have time to text or call you, every conversation was more and more distant. 

Hot tears rolled down your cheeks, and your bottom lip trembled. You crossed your arms and placed them on your knees where you leaned on them, staring out into the abyss of your dimly lit living room. You had just put Jack to sleep, and you didn’t want to risk waking him up.

Your eyes solemnly scaled the walls where the pictures of your little family hung, frames upon frames of happy smiling faces. 

What happened?

It was the fact you were absolutely drowning in your thoughts that you didn’t hear your front door unlock – something that your boyfriend would deeply frown upon. 

Aaron wasn’t surprised to find the apartment quiet, what he was surprised to find was your silhouette illuminated by a single lamp. What really set off the alarms in his brain was your shivering shoulders, which could only mean one thing.

“Sweetheart?” His deep voice pierced the thin air hovering above you. You just shook your head, any happiness that would have left your mouth died in your throat, the words leaving you was, “We have to talk.”

You hated doing this, but who’s to say he won’t get called in tomorrow? No, you had to do this now.

Aaron felt his heart fall into his stomach as he made his way over towards you, gently sitting down on the cushion next to yours, almost as if he was afraid to scare you.

“Of course. Are you okay?” He inquired in concern. You just shook your head again. “This isn’t working, Aaron.” The pain lacing your voice was unmissable. “What?” He’s completely caught off guard, because this was the last thing he’d expected to come home to.

“I can’t do this anymore… unless – unless we can figure something out but even then I-” He rushes to grab your hand, and it lays limp and cold in his warm and calloused one. “Honey please, what’s wrong? Tell me what I can do.” Holy shit, he’s panicking. 

“You’re never here anymore! I - I can’t remember the last time in the past two months that we’ve been able to have any alone time together! Most of the time you’re either gone in a whole different state or stuck in the office!” You couldn’t stop the word vomit from leaving, all kinds of emotions that had been kept dormant finally coming up to the surface.

You heaved out a deep breath, your body slumping in defeat. “Did you know that Jack learned how to ride a bike today?” You asked quietly. “No.” Aaron gulped, “I didn’t.”

A heavy silence settled between the two of you.

“What do you need me to do?” Finally, you looked at him.

There were unshed tears in your eyes, “What I want you to do, you can’t make it happen.” His eyebrows furrowed. “You want me to quit my job?”

“No,” You said with a disbelieving laugh. “I just want you to be there.”

“Who says I can’t do that?” His head tilts, his eyes boring into yours, desperately trying to read you. It was like his profiler skills didn’t exist. “Every time you’ve had a day off you’ve been called into the office one way or another.” Your tone is hopeless, like your situation can’t be helped. 

With a harsh squeeze of your eyelids, the tears began to fall, but Aaron was quick to swipe them away.

“Honey, look at me,” He cups the side of your cheek, his thumb brushing away the liquid. Hesitantly you did, and you instantly fell victim to the warmness of his irises. “I will fix this, because I am not losing you. My behavior has been completely unacceptable, and I swear that I will be here for you and Jack more consistently, I promise.”

“How do I know if this won’t happen again?

“I’ll make sure of it.” 

It was the finality in his voice that fizzled out the anxiety in your gut, setting your nerves at ease.

“Don’t make me regret this, Hotchner.”

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[cupid-styles]

a day in the life (ymls)

it's been awhile since I've posted anything about these cuties so here's a lil blurb!!!!! hope you enjoy :)

word count: 1.3k

content warnings: family stuff, y/n is no longer pregnant BUT there's discussions of her pregnancy, giving birth, and lactating/breastfeeding

ymls masterlist

main masterlist | talk to me

patreon

. . .

Y/N never asked Harry to live with her.

They never had a conversation about it, instead just deciding to go to her house after she and Clementine were released from the hospital because it would likely be easier to recover in her own space — all of her lactation gear was there, along with the three (3!) different pregnancy pillows Harry purchased for her throughout the duration of the pregnancy. 

But then he just never… left.

In hindsight, despite neither of them bringing it up, they both recognize that it’s a way past overdue discussion. Someone should’ve been like, “hey, I know we’ve only been dating for like four months or so and we’re having a baby together, but should we live in the same space, maybe? Just for ease of parenting and all that?”. 

Surprisingly, though, since Y/N very much appreciates her own room — she didn’t do well in college when she had a roommate in their dorm, and she’s very much an introvert that adores heading home at the end of the long day and simply being alone — she hasn’t completely hated Harry being around all the time. It’s the most that they’ve ever spent time together, a whopping three and a half weeks straight since Clementine was born.

It’s a different kind of time, though, considering a newborn’s schedule is unlike anything else. They alternate between who gets to nap during the day and while Y/N is technically cleared for recovery, she still aches like… well, like she pushed an entire body through her. (Even when she tears up looking at Clementine nearly every day, she still shudders at the thought of giving birth. Harry called it the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and she sincerely wonders if he’s mentally well.) 

And somehow, they’ve developed a schedule that works quite well, for now at least. Clementine, their sweet little baby girl, is a decent sleeper. Per all those parenting books Harry obsessed over for nine months, she spends most of her time sleeping, with multiple feeding times throughout the day and night.

When Harry and Y/N both manage to be awake and conscious during the day, they hover over her bassinet — well, formerly in Y/N’s room, but now it seems to be Y/N’s plus Harry’s room? — quietly leaning in to make sure she’s breathing okay, admiring her cute little face, and taking pictures of the adorable onesies Harry puts her in. They have visitors, of course, including both pairs of their parents, siblings, and mutual friends. There’s a lot of crying and smiling and, oddly enough, entertaining, which is silly considering they’re still brand new parents who are working off of two- or three-hour incremental naps. 

In terms of their dynamic, things shift slightly, but Y/N is still the grump Harry adores. She’s exhausted, understandably so. The whole breastfeeding thing wreaks havoc on her body and Clementine doesn’t love it, so she tries her best to regularly pump milk for her, but she hates sitting on the couch, asking Harry to turn on some stupid reality show to distract her, and feeling the machine push and prod at her breasts. 

“This makes me feel like a cow,” she’d huffed the first time they did it, and it made Harry snort so loud he had to excuse himself from the room. 

But Harry… he’s good, even if it’s difficult for Y/N to properly communicate that to him. She knows she got very lucky with him, not just from a partnership standpoint — which, that’s an entirely different conversation that they haven’t gotten to yet — but a parenting one, too. He has no reason to get up with her at 3 am because Clem’s doing her sweet little lamb cries from the corner of their bedroom. Y/N can very easily escape to the room she designated as her nursery months back, where there’s a comfy nursing chair her mother bought her, but instead Harry’s up before Y/N’s eyes are even properly open, gently placing her in her arms and pushing a warm bottle into her hand.

He insists on helping her with every feeding, taking on more diaper changes than Y/N, and even doing his best to take care of her along the way. He helps her into the bath when her bones and joints are too achy to stand in the shower, he never complains about cooking them dinner (if Y/N orders food one more time, she thinks her bank will call her and ask if she’s been taken hostage by one of those ordering apps), and, even with her heightened hormones and emotions, she does indeed cry helplessly, salty tears leaking onto her daughter’s forehead when Harry comes home one day with a bouquet of flowers, a tidy note in the front that says “for my girls”. 

It makes him laugh so hard, the sight of his cranky girl in her milk-stained robe standing in the kitchen, gently rocking Clementine as she holds the pretty stems. 

“Why are you laughing?” Y/N sniffs, lifting her hand to quickly wipe tears away from her cheeks. 

“Because you just look so cute right now,” he says with a grin. He takes the flowers back from her, murmuring out something about putting them in a vase. 

“Sometimes I do wonder if you’re certifiably insane.” Y/N mutters, partially to herself. When she glances down at a milk drunk Clem, a smile quirks at the edges of her lips. “What do you think, Clemmie? Is dada crazy?”

Harry knows that this isn’t the traditional family he dreamed about, that having a baby with Y/N was a risk he was only willing to take because he always wanted to be a dad — but shit, he’s so happy. 

(Y/N is, too. She’s over the moon, with the way gratitude feels like it fills up her body in a way she’s never experienced before. And she knows she’s awful at expressing her feelings, but when she glances back up at Harry, eyes twinkling with a healthy blush over her cheeks and a smile on her lips, he knows. He just knows.)

[d0youc0py]

Even when he wasn’t working his mask seem to haunt him. He wanted to be here with you- but every time he looked in the mirror he was pulled away. Red bumps littered his jaw and some even around his hairline. He had always struggled with acne, having the acne scars to prove it, but it seemed to be getting worse. He’d been in a hotter climate this last mission, the sweat and not being able to air out his face was taking its toll.

He felt so unattractive. He quickly figured out when you feel ugly- you act ugly.

“Sweetheart, open up.” Simon sighed, his hand knocking at the door to emphasize. You two had just gone out on your first date since he’s been back and he snipped at you the whole time.

“Fuck off!”

Ouch.

“Sweetheart.” He started again. The bedroom door finally swung open. His body tensed at your teary face.

“I don’t know what happened to you while you were out there, and god knows you won’t tell me, but you have no right to take it out on me. I’ve been waiting for you to come home for the past three weeks and what am I greeted with? Hostility. It’s like I can’t do anything right.” You sputtered, glaring up at him. His hand instinctively went up to wipe the tears away from your face. He had never been the best at comforting people, but he would do anything to get your tears to stop.

“You’re right.” He admitted. The glare left your face. He was usually much more stubborn- unless he knew he in the was wrong. You softened. “It has nothin to do with work, at least not in the way you think.” His hand went up to rub his jaw but he quickly stopped himself. “I just haven’t been feeling”- He paused. He brought his hand up and motioned to his jaw, turning his head to the side.

“Si.” You murmured. You had noticed a little flare in his skin, but you didn’t really process it. He was always so handsome in your eyes. Your fingers reached up and traced along his cheekbone. “I understand.”

“Shouldn’t take it out on you though, yeah?” He affirmed.

“No you shouldn’t, but I understand now.” You smiled softly, pressing a kiss to his chin. “You’re so handsome, you know.” You mumbled down his neck. He flushed, clearing his throat. “Do you want some help with it?” You offered.

His metabolism wasn’t what it use to be. Luckily the physical activity of his job kept away any unwanted pounds. That was until he was forced to go on medical leave and spend three months ‘taking it easy.’

He would be completely lying if he said he hadn’t enjoyed it though. Being home with you had been heaven- but a bit of hell on his waistline. He noticed it a bit, but he honestly didn’t think anyone else would. He was rudely awoken when he arrived back at base only to have Soap and Gaz poke fun at him. He knew it was all in good fun, but his first thoughts were about you. Had you noticed? If you did, how did you feel about it? He hushed his own thoughts figuring he would loose the weight out on the field. That was his second rude awakening. He had shed a few pounds, but a few stubborn ones remained poking out over his belt.

“How does Y/N feel about their new pillow?” Soap hummed, plopping down next to him. It had been like this for the past month.

“Sleeps like a rock.” Price grumbled.

“Didn’t know you knew what that was Cap.”

“Soap fuck off.” Ghost growled from across the aisle. “Fucking hell.”

The plane was quiet for a while after that.

John shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was never one to be insecure, but this was striking a cord. He remembers being younger and overhearing his mother gossiping in the kitchen about the neighbors.

“Alice has gained so much weight. She’s just gotten married too! Couldn’t imagine already letting myself go like that.”

Letting himself go.

That’s what it was. He didn’t want you- or anyone to think that he had ‘let himself go.’ That it was no longer important to him if you had found him attractive. That the two of you had been married for a little over a year so he could just give up. He shook himself out of his thoughts again.

•••••••••

He couldn’t even get through the door by the time you were on him.

“Welcome Home.” You smiled, pressing kisses to anywhere you could reach. He chuckled, leaning into you. He placed one arm under your bottom lifting you up to him. He dropped his duffle bag at the door kicking the door closed behind him.

“I missed you.” He murmured kissing you back just as desperate. He plopped down on the couch, settling you tightly in his lap. All was right in the world till your hands started to wander.

“You get hurt again?” You questioned after he flinched. Your hands went to pull up his shirt to inspect the damage. He stopped you. “John?” You questioned softly. He tangled his hands with yours.

“You know I have a tendency to be a bit old fashioned.” He started. You pressed your brows together.

“John I’ve seen you naked before.”

“No, love.” He chuckled. “I’ve gained a bit of weight and back in my day that was more scandalous than adultery”-

“You know I don’t care about that.” You interjected.

“I know, that’s what makes this whole thing ridiculous. It’s just something I’ve found out about myself, something that I need to work through.” He sighed, pressing a kiss against your forehead.

“Does this mean I can’t touch you?” You mumbled, fiddling with his shirt collar. He quickly shook his head.

“Course not.” He whispered.

“Johnny, you’re being too loud.”

That sentence had been replaying in his head like a broken record. You didn’t mean anything by it. You were just keeping him in check. Yet he could feel your embarrassment. The heat rising to your cheeks. The panic in your voice. The way you gave total strangers an apologetic smile when they turned your way. He had always been a naturally loud talker. Growing up with five siblings in a small two bedroom apartment was to thank for that. The fact that he had been around explosives for the past eight years didn’t help either.

“Johnny?” You tapped his arm. His eyes fled from the small paper bowl of ice cream to you. “You okay? You’ve been so quiet since we’ve left the restaurant.”

He couldn’t stop a dry chuckle. He grabbed the small bowl, shoving a spoonful in his mouth.

“ ‘m fine.” He mumbled. You sighed leaning across the table gripping his hand with yours.

“Jo.” You pressed again, flashing him your undeniable puppy eyes. He gave your hand a small squeeze.

“Sorry for the way I was at the restaurant.” He grumbled.

“What?” You asked, leaning forward again.

“I said, I’m sorry for the way I was at the restaurant.” He repeated. Your brows furrowed. Suddenly it hit you. Your hand left his and clamped over your mouth.

“No, no, no, Johnny.” You said quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that. Well I did- but”- You cut yourself off. You rubbed your forehead. Your hands reached out again tangling yours and his together. “I’m sorry I made you feel bad. That wasn’t my intention. I just know you sometimes forget your own volume.”

He gave you a small smile, pressing a kiss to your knuckle.

“I know Bonnie. I just don’t like embarrassing you.”

“We’re just so different in that way Jo. My parents were so strict about how loud I was- especially in public. It’s just a stupid habit I have, but I should never expect you to follow it.” You smiled softly. He smiled back at you, the sparkle returning to his blue eyes.

“I should still work on it though. Don’t want to blow your eardrums out, then we’ll both be shouty.” He chuckled.

“You hate it when I do this don’t you?” You hummed.

“I’m still not use to it.” He sighed, using his thumb to run small circles against your hip. He shivered as your fingers traced over another long stretch mark on his back. He mumbled something and pulled you closer, your body almost completely buried underneath his.

It was no secret Konig was tall. Along with that height came stretch marks. Mostly on his lower back and calves, some even under his arms. Some had faded, a small ridge in his skin to show they were still there. Others were a deeper pink- more noticeable.

“Everybody has them Konnie.” You mumbled, pressing a kiss under his jaw.

“I know.” He purred out as you massaged a small kink out of his back. Truth be told he didn’t really care about them either- until the locker room. That’s when he noticed how excessive his seemed. He had carried that feeling for a while, it wasn’t until he met you did he become more comfortable with it. You had showed him your stretch marks and he saw how pretty they looked on you. He slowly began to figure out that if he thought they looked nice on you, then you probably felt the same way about his. He still tenses when you touch them, his eyes darting to yours for any sign of insincerity. He’s always met with love and want. Just the thought of it causes a flutter in his stomach.

[hearts4golbach]

Hello! I hope you are doing great. I was wondering if you could write a Johnnie Guilbert smut where him and the reader have been friends for a few weeks or so, but they both have a lot of sexual tension, that they just haven’t acted on yet. Everyone notices, so Jake and Carrington always make jokes. Then, one night at a party, the group is having fun, and the reader is watching Johnnie intensely. Johnnie notices and decides to walk the reader out of the party and go home to make the move everyone has been waiting for. I'm thinking kind of rough but intimate smut, lots of praise, and maybe choking because he notices that the reader is a little kinky?? 🥰 If you're comfortable with writing that. Afterward, they cuddle, and Johnnie asks the reader if she would like to be his girlfriend. Awh. (There's an edit of Johnnie walking out of a party; it's so fine. That's where I got this idea from, lol.) 🙏🙏

Be Mine.

pairing:

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.

warnings:

18+ smut, choking, unprotected sex (use protection), tiny drinking mention.

"fuck, johnnie. you scared the shit out of me." Your pale friend walked into the kitchen. it was half past midnight, and seeing his figure creep into the kitchen out of the corner of your eye scared the shit out of you.

he was standing shirtless beside you. "Sorry, i -" he looked you up and down. you were in your pajama booth shorts and a tank top, both excentuated your figure. "I was just coming to get water."

your eyes hovered on his bare chest and tattoos a little longer than they should've been. "Don't worry about it." You gave him a soft smile.

you were staying the night because you may or may not have gotten a little too drunk to drive yourself home. maybe a lot too drunk.

his hand grazed your waist as he moved past you. "you feeling any better?"

you cleared your throat. "yeah, somewhat. I plan on running home in the morning to get ready for the video, but then I'll be back."

he smiled, "good. im-"

"you guys better not be fucking in the kitchen." Jake interrupted as he came down the stairs.

"what kind of fucking cult meeting is this?" you joked, "why are we all up right now?"

Jake pranced into the kitchen with a shrug.

"I'm fucking dying of dehydration." johnnie finally grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge.

"goodnight you guys." you walked back into the living room and laid on the couch.

it was hard to sleep. your mind was plagued with thoughts of Johnnie. how his hands would feel around your neck, how he'd taste in your mouth. sleeping was useless at this point. it was 4 am by the time you got off the couch to run home. you dragged yourself off of the comfortable couch and slipped on your shoes.

you snuck out the front door in attempt to not wake anyone up. the journey to your house and back was quick. you took a 5 minute shower to wash the drunk look off of your face. then, you got dressed, ate breakfast, and left again.

whenever you got back, you found Carrington scrounging around the kitchen. "hey, Carrington."

"oh, what's up, y/n. where'd ya go?" he pulled a box of Twix cereal from the cabinet and poured himself a bowl.

"just ran home real quick to shower and shit. can't be looking homeless on the internet." you leaned against the counter.

he took a bite of his cereal. "true that. want some?" he asked between smacking lips.

you scrunched your nose. "i'm good, i already ate."

"i know i've said this a million times," he rolled his eyes, "but you need to make a move on Johnnie. that boy is head over heels, choking on his own feet for you."

"first of all, what does that even mean? second, i don't think he likes me like that, i think we just have a unique friendship." you flailed your hand around to make your point.

"unique? yeah, that guy is always undressing you with his eyes, you do the same." he smirked. he wiped a droplet of milk from the corner of his mouth.

"yeah, whatever." you rolled your eyes before turning. you walked back into the living room and plopped down on the couch.

carrington wasn't far behind you. he sat on the opposite side of you. he didn't say anything, just sat and munched on his cereal. you snapped a picture, thinking it was funny, and posted it on your story after tagging him.

"we're recording around 7 ish, right?" you asked him, checking the group chat to double check the details.

"actually, me and Jake were talking last night about making it earlier. Tara wants to go to this party tonight and wants us to come with." he shrugged, "we were gonna talk to you and Johnnie 'bout it whenever you were both up."

you raised your eyebrows. "i'm more than down. i'm sure Johnnie will be too. i mean, i don't wanna answer for him, but you know."

"well, duh."

you and Carrington sat in the couch talking and watching a movie while you waited for everyone to wake up. he mentioned planning on going back to sleep, but he stayed up with you instead.

it was a few hours before everyone had came downstairs. Jake was making a smoothie, which ended up waking up Johnnie. Carrington brought up the idea of going to that party later that night, which Johnnie agreed to.

the last few hours before recording went by fast, as well. you spent most of them with Johnnie.

you had asked Tara to bring you one of her dresses, since you didn't want to leave Johnnie and run home. she obviously agreed. Tara loved seeing how her clothes fit you.

Jake set up the camera in the living room. "you guys ready?"

everyone said some form of yes. Jake started the camera.

recording the video felt long whenever all you wanted to do was go and party. it was truth or drink with everybody. of course, Carrington asked johnnie about me and him. he asked of Johnnie had feelings for me. he took a shot for that one. you knew the fans would be all over that clip.

the video was finally done an hour later. it was about 1:30, so you had time to kill.

you helped Jake and Johnnie with chores around the house while Carrington and Tara ran to get lunch.

you were working on making Johnnies bed for him whenever he spoke up. "y/n?"

"What's up?"

he stuttered, "You excited for the party?"

"Yeah, I guess so. they're always fun, especially when you go. we get to be introverts together." You turned around and smiled at him.

he didn't respond. his eyes flickered from your lips back to your eyes. there was a moment of silence before he spoke up. "Yeah, I'm glad you'll be there."

"Are you okay?" You stepped closer to him.

"Yeah, I just -" he began to lean in closer to you.

"We're back!" Tara yelled up the stairs. it startled both of you. you quickly backed away from each other.

"i-" you began to speak.

"Let's go eat." he shot you a soft smile before leading you back downstairs.

you followed johnnie and sat next to him on the couch. everybody was already in the living room. Jake was scrolling on tiktok while the other two were emptying the Chipotle bags.

"the fuck were you guys doing? making out?" Tara smirked.

Johnnie shook his head. "we were cleaning, tara."

she hummed, "right."

-

everyone ubered to the party together. Tara was hyping all of you up, but we didn't really need her to. you were all pumped up as it was.

you locked your arm with Johnnies as you walked inside. Tara immediately started singing along to whatever 2000s pop was blasting. it didn't take long for Jake and Carrington to get into it.

you watched as Johnnie followed their lead, bopping his head along and singing some of the lyrics. you giggled, which caught Johnnies attention. he smiled at you, and you smiled back.

everyone got at least one drink. you sipped on a hard seltzer while dancing with tara. you couldn't keep your eyes off of Johnnie.

"y/n!" Tara whined, "why are you so distracted tonight?!"

"it's just johnnie. I don't know, like, what's going on between us anymore."

"it's obvious you two like each other, just go for it!" she scolded.

"But I'm not sure! what if I make a move and I get the wrong idea so... I don't even know!"

"Trust me, y/n. he likes you." she rolled her eyes.

you looked towards Johnnie again. he was already looking at you. he shot you a smile and a wave. you felt your face heat up, and you looked away.

"See? come on!" she laughed. "we both know you need some dick, and Johnnie has had this huge crush on you for so long. I know you like him, too. it's obvious."

"Okay, fine. i-" You felt a tap on your shoulder, making you jump. you turned your head to see Johnnie. he let his hand rest on your shoulder. "Hi."

"Hey, im pretty bored. wanna come with me? I'm going home."

you glanced back at Tara, and she winked at you.

"Yeah, I'm down. this shit is pretty boring." which was a lie on your part, and you knew he was lying too.

you waved bye to everyone and followed Johnnie out of the party. he had already called an Uber, which was waiting by the curb.

he opened the door for you, and you climbed in. the whole ride home was silent.

as Johnnie began to unlock the front door, he spoke up. "I noticed you staring." he pushed the front door open and walked in.

you followed close behind him. "Sorry." You responded, flustered. you shut the door behind you.

Johnnie turned around, stopping you in your tracks. "Don't be. I'm just- fuck. I need you so bad, y/n."

"What? can you repeat that?" You smirked, backing yourself into the door as he followed.

he gripped your hips, placing his head in the crook of your neck. "I said I need you so bad. it's unbearable."

his grip on you was tight. he himself closer to you as he began to kiss your neck. your hand tangled into his already messy hair. he bit your neck gently as he sucked dark hickeys into your neck. those would be hard to explain to everybody.

"fuck, I think I need you more." you whispered into his ear.

he pulled away from your neck and smashed his lips onto yours. his lips were soft and glided with yours perfectly. you had been waiting for this kiss for so long, too long.

as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, he slid his hands up your dress and gripped your ass. he pulled it up, so it bunched around your waist. he massaged your ass with one hand while the other stayed on your hip.

"johnnie, please." you pleaded, trying to pull him closer by the collar of his shirt.

"Please what, mama?" he pulled away, his eyes locked on your lips.

"God, fuck me."

he grabbed your hand and dragged you up to his bedroom. you slammed the door and locked it, just in case.

his hands were immediately on you once more, attempting to pull the dress off of you. once he got it, he threw it somewhere on the floor.

he led you back to the bed. your knees caught against the bed, and you fell back. he crawled up on top of you and teased the rim of your bra.

you clawed at his shirt and eventually pulled it off, leaving his pale skin and tattoos there for you to admire.

you quickly unbuckled and pulled down his jeans, revealing his hard member in his underwear.

you palmed him through his undwear, making him quietly whimper against your lips. he rushed to take off your panties, to impatient to worry about your bra at the moment.

he stuck two fingers in your mouth. "spit for me, baby."

you complied, licking and sucking his fingers before spitting on them. he pulled his boxers down and kicked them off. he rubbed your spit all over his dick.

"Please, Johnnie. need you so bad." You begged.

"so impatient, pretty girl." his hand caressed your cheek before gripping your hip.

he aligned his tip with your entrance before thrusting inside of you. he bottomed out, making you moan loudly. he gave you a moment to adjust.

"fuck, please fuck me." you whimpered.

"yes, ma'am." he smirked and began thrusting inside of you at an agonizingly slow pace.

he let out a soft grunt with each thrust. he leaned down and placed his lips onto yours gently.

you wrapped your legs around his waist, begging him to go faster. he did so, speeding up his pace just enough. you moaned into his mouth.

you reached for his hand that was pressed into the bed beside you. you took it and moved it up to your neck. "fucking choke me." you instructed him breathlessly.

you felt his cock twitch inside of you. "You'd like that, Mama?"

you nodded eagerly as he wrapped his hand around your throat. he gripped it tight, cutting off some of your air flow. your moans became raspy and breathless, and he thrusted faster.

"fuck," you moaned out as Johnnie tightened his grip on your throat. your eyes rolled back as the sounds of skin slapping together filled the room.

"you're taking me so well, baby." he praised as he was breathing heavily. "so fucking good."

he pulled you up by your neck to kiss your lips. you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him passionately.

he pounded into you, making you moan loud as you felt his cock twitch again.

"fuck, I'm close, Johnnie." you whimpered before pressing your lips against his again.

he let out a small giggled followed by a moan. "cum on my dick."

your walls squeezed his cock tight as you moaned his name. you felt a coil build up in your stomach as you moaned and cursed under your breath. your walls spasmed around him as you came hard.

Johnnie helped you ride out your high before pulling out and cumming on your stomach. he whimpered as he covered your lower stomach in his cum.

he collapsed on the bed next to you. "thanks for making my bed, but now it's all fucked up." he joked.

you hummed. he jumped up and grabbed a small rag from his closet. he cleaned his cum off of your stomach and the left over juices off of your pussy.

he pulled the covers over the two of you. you curled up against him. "that was amazing." you muttered, closing your eyes.

he wrapped his arms around you. "y/n?"

"hmm?"

"will you be my girlfriend?" he leaned his head against yours.

"of course I will, stupid."

[auragasmics]

KAMA SUTRA SESSIONS!

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀—SYNOPSIS! When you get an appointment from a passing athlete who wants to better his game with women, who's better to answer the call than the resident sęx therapist?

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀—PAIRINGS! sex therapist!fem!reader x ushijima wakatoshi

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀—CW! 9.7k words, 1st pov, pwp, use of an oc, both reader and ushijima are 26, teasing, oral(f. receiving), fingering, squirting, couch sex, no protection

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀—XOXO CHRIS! a repost but *sigh*... i loved writing this so i hope you enjoy this! also for my love @gorehsk!

In the life as a sex therapist, there’s some things that you hear, see, and even experience that add years to the career.

At first, I thought it was going to be a failed business move, considering that sex is seen as a taboo topic by some. I mean, it’s a process as natural as birth but people shame it with such strong resentment…like it’s an unimaginable evil that’s ruining the world.

I couldn’t help but to think my discouragement was properly placed. I was in a town with families, retirees, no one that would really need my advice.

That “failed business move” of a thought lasted all of a week.

Thanks to the small pickett signs I personally had made and placed around the office building’s parking lot and nearby plazas, I had clients booking with me by the hour.

Couples of all ages—some married, some divorced, many singles, even polyamorous groupings contacted my office.

When people heard of a new sex therapist entering the area and started booking sessions with me, I could only wish to know what was going through their minds.

I’ve dealt with teary confessions about how wives have lost attraction for their husbands, husbands who come to terms with the fact that they don’t know how to please their wives. I’ve even gotten singles who’ve come in just to make sure they still know how to perform in the bedroom.

In these past four years, I’ve learned that just because people shun the idea of sex and sexual education during the day, they’ll come on their hands and knees at night. It’s been an interesting ride, but I can proudly say that I’ve helped many people in the area rekindle their sparkle and finally achieve their goals with their partners.

The days I’ve spent at the office were nothing short of fulfilling—and today was supposed to be like no other.

Supposed to, of course.

My day started out like normal; waking up in my bed with my eyes fluttering open. The first thing I settled my hazy squint onto was the rays of sunlight peeking through my creme shutters, begging to illuminate my room.

I pried my hand from underneath my pillow to grab my phone on my bedside table, the screen greeting me with a single message:

(1) VOICEMAIL FROM: Hana

Hana, my cheeky, bright-eyed, receptionist. She joined me when she was a freshman at the local community college, just taking classes until she figured out what she wanted to do with her life. Fast-forward to today, she’s a fresh graduate with a bachelor's in psychology.

She’s taken it upon herself to call her around 6 A.M every day with a debrief of the day ahead. When I asked her why she does it, the sweet girl simply told me the extra effort was the least she could do.

Since then, I’ve bumped her pay high enough so that she can support herself by herself and haven’t pressed the topic a vowel further.

With my debriefing at hand, I sat up in my bed, sleep still lingering behind my eyelids. I have half a mind to cancel whatever appointments I have today and sleep just for an hour more. But when I looked down at the time on my screen, it was a reality I knew I couldn’t afford.

9:00 A.M.

My office opens in an hour and my first appointment always starts at 10:30…bless me.

“Okay, Hana, let’s see what you have for me,” I mumbled as I clicked on the awaiting tab.

As my thumb pressed the play button, Hana’s voice instantly became my background noise for my morning routine—which began in the bathroom for a shower.

“‘Morning, Y/N! Hope you slept well! I have good news and bad news for you. And no, I can’t give you the bad news first because it’s intertwined with the good news. So for starters, you have a light day—one appointment! Bad news…and this is a first for us…this client booked you for a few hours.”

“Hours?!? What the fu—“

Just hearing that made me pop my head from behind the glass shower door. Clients usually meet with me for an hour, an hour and a half if needed but hours???

“I know exactly what you’re thinking because…what the fuck?? But when I explain more about him, I think you’ll be impressed.”

“Okay, you’ve got a bit of a celebrity on your hands today. This one is Ushijima Wakatoshi. He’s 26, a player for the Schweiden Alders…a professional volleyball team. He’s playing a game against our national team and is gonna be in town for a few days. He booked with you because, and this is in his words, he says that he’s a little “awkward in the realm of love and wants to improve his social skills and….intimate skills.” He also sent over test results…he’s clean, just to let you know . So…have fun with this one!”

And just like that, Hana’s cheery voice was reduced to naught, melding with the stillness of my bathroom.

I turned off the water, standing in a foggy haze. There was only one thought in my mind:

Well then, Ushijima Wakatoshi…let’s start the day together right.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

“Hana! Oh my sweet flower, I brought your favorite♪!” I sang, entering through the office’s front door.

Hana lifted her head from behind the monitor, her bright smile complementing my own.

“An omlette with cheese and hash browns on the side?!?” She squealed, jumping from her seat.

“Mhm! Enjoy!”

Before I could take a step further, Hana ran to greet me with a hug, her curly black hair dusting along my chest.

“Thank you, Thank you!” She cheered, stepping back from me. She quickly took the stuffed brown bag from my hands before returning to her desk.

With a fading grin, I turned my attention down towards my top, a fitted rose dress shirt with just a few top buttons left undone. I wiped a few wrinkles away, shifting my attention down to my black pressed slacks that didn't face the same fate.

Still just as fresh and clean as when I left my apartment.

“So,” I began as I walked towards Hana. “How much do I have before our guest checks in?”

“Mmm, about 20. But Y/N…he’s so hot! I looked him up and wow! Like…I’m kinda confused how he’s having issues with girls. I’m sure the women at his matches throw themselves at him,” Hana gushed between a bite of her omelette.

I leaned against the rim of the desk, resting my red leather purse and my hips along the surface.

“Oh, you know how it goes. Looks can get you far, but it’s your words and actions that determine your success. I bet he does look good, but he probably needs more work on his confidence.”

“Ah, true. Well, you go tidy up your office and I’ll run the vacuum out here in a few,” Hana said, her hand shooing me away.

I grabbed my bag and giggled, “Okay, okay! But—“

I couldn’t even finish my thought when the front door tolled open, gaining a stare out of Hana and me.

“Um…excuse me…I’m here for Dr. L/N. I have an appointment at 10:30, but I just wanted to show up a little early,” the deep voice announced.

I turned my head to meet the owner behind such a voice, just for my eyes to be stunned at the sight.

A man, a tall one at that. He stood in the middle of the office with a straight face, staring back at Hana and I. His hair was a shade of brown unique to him only, brushed back to reveal his entire face. His features were strong—his jawline sharp, his cheekbones high, brows trimmed and clean, his eyes glimmering like that of a polished citrine gem.

Hana was right…he really was something to marvel at.

He stood with his hands behind his back, impassively waiting for someone to reply—or not, he really seemed unbothered.

I didn’t even need to guess what his physique could be underneath such proper garb. Those muscles weren’t shy of peeking beneath the navy suit he wore. The white dress shirt beneath was crisp, and no tie was in sight —which I guess is casual to him.

I bit my lip softly, I’ve never been intimidated by a man before, but this one made my face swell with a wafting heat. So this is Ushijima Wakatoshi…the name fits him perfectly.

Nonetheless, I had a job to do.

I rolled my shoulders back and began a few short steps towards him, the click of my heels silenced against the plush sage green carpet.

There I was, standing before him. My height met him just beneath his collar—and that’s thanks to my heels. I held my hand out to him, my glossed lips curling into a rich smile.

“Mr. Ushijima, it’s so nice to meet you! I’m Dr. L/N, but Y/N works just fine. This is Hana, my lovely receptionist.”

His hand was rough and worked, but slid against my palm like butter, his warmth melding into my touch. His thumb sat past my own, the rough pad swiping ever so softly along my skin. When my eyes finally eased from their shared smile as my lips, I couldn’t look away from him.

His own gaze was captivating, almost entrapping me in a trace of just him and I. I watched as his lips curled into a faint smile, a brief flash of white meeting my eyes.

“Oh, Y/N, it’s wonderful to meet you! Please, feel free to call me Ushijima or Wakatoshi! I’ve been waiting for this appointment for a while now."

He broke away from our contact to give his attention to Hana, waving to her with his other hand.

“And it’s nice to meet you too, Hana! Thank you for your hard work!”

I didn’t need to look back to know the look on Hana’s face: she’s a flustered mess with her tongue caught in a shudder.

“O-Oh…thanks, sir! It’s not without Y/N, though. I c-can tell you that you’ll be in…great hands!.”

Ushijima turned his sights back towards me, that muted curl of his lips growing into a full-bodied smile at last.

“I sure hope so.”

I gave Ushijima one last smile before taking my hand away from his, my hands clasping together.

“Let’s begin! I’ll bring you back and we’ll get on,” I announced, turning away from Ushijima.

As I passed by the desk, I grabbed my bag and gave Hana a swift smirk, one she returned with a wink.

Ushijima and I descended down the hall until we arrived to a room a door down from my office, room 165.

I turned the doorknob as I leaned against the white door, “Come on in.”

Ushijima nodded as he passed me, the faint scent of his cologne whisked past my nose. It’s rich—bergamot, some sage, amber, and even a hint of vanilla. That’s a good mix, and his body isn’t rejecting it, a man who knows his signature scent is a rare one these days.

The room I bought us to was of decent size—about the size of a child’s bedroom. The walls were handpainted by Hana and I some years ago, a soft peach with white carpeting. The furniture was all espresso colored, from the two leather seats that faced one another, the coffee table between the two, and the bookshelf that stood against the window.

It was a pretty comfy room, one that many current and past clients raved about.

“Pick your side and get comfortable, we’re gonna be here awhile,” I teased, closing the door behind me.

“I must apologize for that. I heard about you some time ago during a tournament and I’ve always wanted to have a sit down with you. And since I don’t come to the States often, I thought it was best to have an ample amount of time with you,” Ushijima confessed as he settled into the leather armchair.

I followed suit, placing my bag onto the table as I sank into the seat.

“Oh, don’t apologize! You’re actually my only client today, so we can take up all day if need be. I want you to leave here confident and more sure of yourself. Which brings me to my first question…”

I folded my legs over one other, resting my hands on my lap. My eyes settled over Ushijima, not with the same set that marveled at him just minutes before. This time, I excused his attraction for purpose, preparing myself to ask the timeless question:

“What brings you in today?”

Ushijima brought himself to sit up in his seat, his large hands drifting to brace his clothed thigh.

“Well, put shortly—I wanna get better with women. I can’t talk to them, and then I see my teammates—they can strike up a conversation with them so easily. And women do talk to me, but it’s just not…oh how can I put this…with substance?”

“What do women say to you?” I asked, leaning back into the couch.

“Just talk about my looks, or how impressed they are. I’ve heard it one too many times, it gets tiring. I know they’re just trying to make conversation with me by complimenting me, but those things just bore me. My teammates love that kind of attention, but it all seems pointless to me.”

“And why is that?”

“Because,” Ushijima sighed. “It’s just going to go nowhere. I’m not into hooking up, the thought bores me honestly. I mean, I feel that you don’t get the best of someone after one night, especially if your goal is just sex.”

“So then Ushijima—”

“Wakatoshi…please call me, Wakatoshi,” Ushijima intervened, a feeble smile creeping onto his face.

“Okay…Wakatoshi, call me Y/N. Doctor is just too formal for me,” I added. “But it still begs the question, Wakatoshi: What are you looking for?”

“As in my romantic goals or my type?”

“Both work perfectly! Your interests do tie into your romantic goals,” I informed him.

Now, it’s so unbecoming of me to ask a client what their type is…but Ushijima is such a special case that I’ll overlook just this once.

After posing the question to him, Ushijima took a moment of silence to ponder, his eyes narrowing down on me.

“My type is…smart. Really smart. A put together woman with a good sense of humor. I’m more on the rigid side but I do appreciate a woman who can find joy in things. Her beauty goes without saying, so basically—a woman of substance.”

“Okay, sounds—

“What’s your type?”

Just the query to catch me off my guard…and pique my interest. In all my years, I’ve never had a client return any of my questions to me; I didn’t think Ushijima would be the first.

My cheeks flickered with heat, but I found comfort within the moment by biting my tongue softly. My eyes were pinned on him, Ushijima still wearing that blank yet firm expression on his face— neutral eyes, brows stilled and his mouth free of any curl or twitch.

Just a peaceful face behind a stinging question.

“I don’t see how that matters…?” I said, staring at Ushijima through a razor-sharp squint.

“But it does matter. It’s not a hard question unless you make it one,” he continued. “What’s your type of man, Y/N? It’d be nice to know, since we’re gonna be here awhile together.”

A grin perked up onto his lips, the cracks of pearly white teeth breaking onto the scene.

“Can’t I ask you some questions too?”

My lips broke apart between a brewing sigh, the tip of my tongue pressed against the gummy flesh of my cheek. I can’t deny him to be honest, we are stuck here for some time, and this session couldn’t continued as a one sided conversation forever.

“Alright, my type…my type…. I like a tall man, a nice athletic build, keeps himself well kept. As far as personality: smart, kind, respectful, responsible, and thoughtful. Thoughtfulness, however, is a big one for me. It’s nice to know you mean so much to someone that they would take action out of that place of love. That’s quite admirable in my eyes.”

There was an air of silence between Ushijima and I. He sat still and I did the same. Our eyes hadn’t broken from each other either, yet the softening hues of olive green made me feel calm beneath Ushijima’s gaze.

But this was an appointment, not a staring contest. I was the first to break the silence.

“A-hem..Um… well, I digress, let’s continue,” I choked out.

I broke the eye contact Ushijima and I worked so hard to maintain with a simple blink, searching for the next territory of topic to enter.

“So where did we—talked about types…but that’s not exactly helpful in the slightest. I know you wanted to address conversation too, but can you explain a little bit more?”

Ushijima nodded calmly, but that wasn’t all I got from him. Vulnerability was one hell of a feeling, and it dusted the highs of his cheeks red. And as his skin began to run hot, Ushijima himself grew antsy, his hand coming to rub at the nape of his neck.

But…it was cute to me. The emotions I see on a daily basis are pride, sadness, anger—but embarrassment is a rare one that I can always appreciate.

“I…I don’t know how to flirt. It’s always awkward and I honestly feel stupid,” he mumbled, his stare pinned down at his pants.

“I hear you,” I consoled, a faint smile crowding at my lips.

“It’s such an unspoken realm that everyone is expected to know how to do but with no explanation. Flirting is something that is also unique to each person. It can be acts of kindness, giving compliments,—or the complete opposite. Some people like to tease, play rough, or even act cold as a form of flirting.”

Ushijima followed along with me, nodding his head every so often.

“So then, what is the best way of flirting?” He asked.

“Well, I can’t say. —

“Let me rephrase,” He interjected. “What would a man have to do or say to you in order for you to be interested in him?”

“Wit.”

“Wit?”

“Yeah, I love witty, intelligent conversations. It could be anything and I’ll find interest in it. Just being able to express your intelligence to me—whether it be on topic you know or asking questions, I love it all. I guess to keep it short, the mind and how a man expresses his knowledge is what gets me interested.”

The presence of a faint grin lit up Ushijima’s face.

“That’s what it takes, hm…”

An air of enticement bled into the room and it shamefully claimed me as its victim. I’ll admit, I’ve never had a client as interesting as Ushijima. Aside from his genuine intrigue about sex and the ways of courting, he seems to have something more on his mind—and I wanted to know every single detail. But he plays along too well, thanks to that blank expression he wears so proudly. But he slipped up with that damn grin, now it’s my turn to play the next hand.

I placed my hand on the open cushion beside me, the tips of my fingers drumming along the leather surface.

“Come sit, let’s do an exercise…just so it really sinks in. Maybe you’ll be able to use this as reference for the next lady that catches your eye.”

And just like that, Ushijima was swift to oblige. I was hooked on the sight of him standing from his seat, his hand toying with the buttons of his blazer. The white dress shirt he wore was finally revealed to me, the subtle hints of his muscular frame peeking through.

His steps were calm and controlled, carefully trudging around the glass coffee table. Ushijima held himself with a confidence unmatched to any man I’ve met thus far. He was interesting to observe, and even more fun to tease. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in seeing how far we could go, all kinds of thoughts were plaguing my mind.

As he stood over me, I had to bite back a smile, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip.

This was turning out to be an interesting session, after all.

Ushijima placed himself on the couch at an arm’s length away, leaving an untasteful gap amongst us. Yet when my eyes had fallen on his stoic face, the man’s fair skin was budding with the innocence of pink.

“Well don’t be shy, Wakatoshi,” I cooed. My hand patted at the spot just beside my thigh, hinting for him to move closer.

“We are here together for quite some time, might as well get…a little close.”

With a firm nod, Ushjima bridged the gap between strangers to acquaintances among us, his body now resting snug at my side. He had yet to face me, as if he was embarrassed to do so. I noticed that he kept his hands in his lap, his digits nervously fiddling around.

I reached over to his hand, softly grazing along the back of his hand to ease his worries.

“Ushijima? You ready? We don’t have to do this, if you’re not comfortable—”

“No, let’s do it,” he huffed, his body turned towards me. “What kind of exercise are we doing?” He asked, turning his body to face me.

“Great! For the exercise, let’s pretend we’re meeting at…oh, I dunno, a bar. Do your best to try and ask me out on a date.”

“Um…Y/N…you do realize that the fact that I can’t ask anyone on a date is why we’re here, right?”

“Yes…I do, thank you for that. Use your imagination—a bar has ambiance lighting, soft music, drinks on rotation, play on the environment, and make a good impression, okay?”

Ushijima sat in silence for a moment, his eyes narrowing as the seconds passed. I could assume that he was thinking—really thinking at that.

I almost pulled into my own daze of boredom, the color of the walls catching my eye—until the quiet mumble of his voice broke the stilled air.

“Well…what do you drink at a bar?”

I tucked my leg beneath me as I shifted myself to give Ushijima my full and undivided attention. He mirrored me, turning so that we were both facing one another. Yet again, our eyes locked, unwilling to falter from the view we had of one another.

“I usually go for a glass of wine, I’m not a fan of heavy liquor.”

“Wine’s a good choice. Are you someone who pairs wine with food?”

I shook my head, “Not really. But, I do know that red wine goes best with some fruits, chocolate, and steak. Rosé goes best with grilled vegetables or salmon, and white is the best of both worlds.”

“Oh really?” Ushijima hummed. “I never realized wine could be so specific. Since you know so much, why not put your knowledge to the test?”

“And how are we gonna do that?”

A soft smile grew across Ushijima’s lips. He seemed to relax a bit–his shoulders laxed, his side now resting against the couch’s back cushions, he even shifted a bit closer to me too; all of which made me ease up too. I wasn’t feeling as guilty as I was before–if anything, I was pleased with the way our exercise was going.

Ushijima has such a nice, easy voice that greets the ear so kindly, and his eyes were just so alluring to stare into, I could sit here for hours just watching how his moss-green hues catch the light of every hour. Not to mention that the scent of his cologne was finally welcomed into the scene, just wafting past my nose every so often.

He had all the making of an ideal guy, so why isn’t he–

“I know a place near here, a nice restaurant with a wine cellar in the basement,” he led on. “ They have collections that date back years, and from what I know, the darker the wine, the richer…no, the sweeter it drips on the tongue. I’d like to hear your thoughts in a…professional setting, if you may.”

“I’d like that,” I nodded, a curling grin consuming my senses. “I’m sure you’d have some thoughts to tell me too.”

Ushijima shrugged, his hand coming to brace the pulse of his neck. “Honestly, there’s a lot on my mind I could tell you so much right now, but then…well…we might not make it to the restaurant. And I’m just dying to pour you a glass of wine, so…for now, I’ll be patient.”

I pushed my lips into a wading pout. I could feel my eyes softening beneath his gaze. He could find the time to tease me back while flustered like this…interesting.

“And what if I don’t have the same patience?” I pried, a sly smirk pressed onto my lips.

That’s when Ushijima sealed the end of our improv scene, bringing his hull of a body to overshadow my own. His lips came to fill the shell of my ear with an esteemed chuckle. His breath painted against my skin, awakening my nerves to greet him. I was helpless, at his every whim—and not a fiber in me wanted it any other way.

“Then I’ll just have to tease you ‘til you break…right?”

He drew himself back gradually, our dilated eyes catching sight of each other once more. I was at a loss for words, my lips agape beneath the heat of shock. At that moment, all I could think about what would follow—his lips crashing into mine, his hands bracing every curve of my body. I wanted to be under him, to have to stare up into those eyes to plead for relief from the stirring heat flaring about my body.

But then again, this isn’t some magic fairytale…it’s an appointment.

“How was that?” He asked, his words breaking my sinful chain of thought.

“Good,” I complimented, hiding my roused thoughts behind a smile. “You’ll most definitely get a date like that.”

“Well, I might have gotten the date, but I wanna be able to…y’know…”

“To what, Ushijima? You gotta be a little more clear than that,” I smirked.

His skin began to flush itself of its tan shade in lieu of the trickles of rose dotting the highs of his cheek.

“To…please a woman.”

“Please? Like…please and thank you? I hate speaking in code…especially in a professional setting.” I continued to press.

If I had known he was so shy towards the topic of sex earlier, then we would’ve been able to ease into it. But for him to tease me like that…it’s only fair I return the gracious favor.

Ushijima’s eyes shot wide, a gasp breaking his lips apart. He was reluctant, but he gave in, biting at his bottom lip.

“Fine…I wanna know how to be good at sex…happy?”

“Oh, well to be good at sex is just the same as being a good lover. And I can show you how with this…" I trailed off.

I quickly rose from my spot on the couch, setting my sights on my bookcase. A few steps brought in front of the shelved plethora of knowledge, eyes searching for the spine of the book needed for the moment.

"Ah! Here we are," my hand plucking out the book from its peers.

“This…is the Kama Sutra. It’s an ancient Indian text written by the Hindu philosopher, Vātsyāyana Mallanaga; that explains how both men and women can lead rich sexual and social lifestyles. The Kama Sutra has become associated with sex positions over the years, but it doesn’t make it a heavy presence within the book.”

I returned to Ushijima’s side, seating myself beside him with the book in tow. I rested the Kama Sutra on his lap, allowing him to absorb the famed text. I watched as his eyes flitted about the cover, tracing every word to be found.

“Wanna flip through it?” I suggested, softly tugging at the book cover.

“Yeah,” Ushijima nodded. “I’m interested.”

From the moment I opened the book, Ushijima and I were bound by the knowledge of the old world. The pages were written in English, yet the message was something that transcended all known languages. I went on to explain to him how the Kama Sutra delved into how sex between two lovers should be enjoyable for everyone, and how the pleasure of the woman would lead to ultimate satisfaction for both parties.

Though I’ve read it before for papers, presentations, and even for my dissertation, reading it with Ushijima was an experience that struck the strings of my heart in a special way.

Maybe it was because he expressed a genuine interest in the questions he asked. Or maybe it was the cute reactions he made when things finally clicked. Or maybe it was the plain fact that I had someone beside me to read it with for once.

From time to time, I took a few moments to study Ushijima’s reaction to his answered questions. He would blink a few times, as though he had to internalize all of what was said. Then, he’d peered over to me with a smile curling up the corners of his mouth.

Our chase of knowledge led us to the chapter on positions, the page’s title calling for Ushijima’s attention to be riled.

“This chapter looks short. Where are the positions?”

“Well, the Kama Sutra actually doesn’t have any positions, it gives advice on how to select and personalize positions between lovers.”

“Huh,” he huffed. “…and what does that look like?

“Want me to show you?”

A blanket of silence fell over him, and he’s back to wearing that blank, sedated look on his face.

Damn, was that too strong? It was a little forward but I know it’s nothing—

“If it’s not too much…I’d be honored.”

“Well, then,” I grinned as I placed the book atop of the glass tabletop. “Let’s get started.”

Ushijima’s hand nuzzled along my waist, guiding me over his lap to straddle him.

“You can just sit right on me, I think we’re getting a little closer, yeah?”

“I think we are, but we can get closer too, y’know.”

“And can we do that?”

With that burning question of his, I was forced to bear the weight of what lust looks in his eyes—his pupils dilating, his eyelids growing heavy, and a mischievous smirk tracing his lips.

“Do you wanna be on top?” I quizzed, toying with the top button of his dress shirt.

“Well I’m just here to observe, so I think you should be on top,” he said, leaning back against the couch. He brought me down with him, his hands nestled along my lower back. Just like that, my chest was smothered against the tauntingly chiseled mass of his own.

My hands languidly skimmed along the face of Ushijima’s shirt. He held still as my touch consumed him and his senses whole, his lungs coaxed into a steam of shaky shallow, breaths.

“Y’know, we have to find a way to make this position our own, make sure we fit each other just right,” I hummed, draping my arms along his broad shoulders. I lowered myself further into his groin, pressing up against something hard…and twitchy.

That’s when I felt it, a thick bulge nested right between Ushijima and I.

Men are so easy, it’s so cute.

That stoic face of his was cracking right before my eyes—his eyes screwed shut, lips stunning with a puffy pout, his cheeks brushed with the innocent hues of blush. He looked so lost in his own heat, desperately squirming for a remedy.

“Oh my-fuck, Y/N. What do you want from me? I’ll do anything, just say the word!”

I brought my thumb to tug along the plush of Ushijima’s bottom lip, his glossed skin clinging to my touch.

“Aww, where’s the patience you had earlier? I thought you were gonna tease me? But seeing you like this…it’s a good look on you too, Wakatoshi.”

A gentle grin eased itself into Ushijima’s features, fueled by the same salacious nature dotting his eyes. His hold over me shifted, his hand slipping down to grasp at the thick curve of my ass. He even found the chance to snake his hand between us to cup at the underside of my thigh. He kept me near, forcing his chest to curl into mine as he sat up once more.

“I can guarantee you one thing, Y/N.” Ushijima huffed, his heavy eyes peering up at me.

“Oh, and what’s that?”

“After me, you won’t ever need another lover.”

My hazy stare fluttered between his eyes and his lips, capturing the sight of It was almost like it was all I needed to finally be sealed beneath his trance. And because of that, I was able to press a soft peck onto Ushijima’s lips, breaking away just to whisper words of encouragement for his racing mind to catch.

“Then prove it.”

Sharing my spite, Ushijima’s lips bared one final smirk before crashing against my own. His kiss told me all I needed to know–soft, puffy, and clinging to my own. The supply curves of his lips caught every pushing tide I offered, igniting a ravenous intent deep within us both.

His hands roamed over my body, claiming every curve, every inch of me for his taking. It’s dizzying to have him like this, a nonchalant man turned hungry for every crumb to offer. He was getting restless, his hips bucking for friction all over again.

Maybe I was so focused on how dumb his lips had driven me or his hands tracing my body like a sculpture to his sculpture, but how he managed to have me pinned beneath him and smothered into the leather cushion is a mystery to me alone, but I wasn’t about to complain.

How could I when he smothered me beneath the thick of his chest, sending my head into a dizzied frenzy But with the way his lips carried such care to dance with mine was enough for me to forgive him for being so needy. The same needy–no, greedy nature made him take control without any room for debate, and I surely wasn’t planning on starting anything I couldn’t finish.

“Mm, Y/N?” He mumbled, breaking our kiss.

“Hm?"

“If I remember correctly, didn’t the book say I should make you cum a few times? Through your pleasure, I'll find mine right?"

"Look at you, guess you really are learning. I think it did...so what are we gonna do about that?"

I didn’t need to hear the words to know what he had planned. I lifted my hips to help him, his hands stripping me free of my pants.

Ushijima slotted himself between the couch and the table, clutching at my waist from below.

His arms hooked around my thighs, his hands resting within the crease of my thighs, his filled palms squeezing at the plush fat. He seemingly ignored the fact that my underwear—the most annoying fact to exist—was still on.

Until his fingers began to trace along the pink lace. Slowly, carefully, and lazily he dragged the pad of his digit all over my panties, feeding some new whim of his.

I watched him for a while as he led with his own agenda. Until I couldn’t sit still without some answer.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Am I?” He retorted, his eyes darting to meet mine.

His touch burned with the thrill of tease as he gradually followed the edges towards the inseam of my panties. The pad of his middle finger was all he relied on as he carefully traced the puffy lips of my pussy.

His finger sunk between my clothes lips, just for his discovery to be rewarded with the bud of my clit. That’s when Ushijima pinned his stare on me, antagonizing me into a game of endurance.

Those aimless strokes turned into a series of sloppy circles, Ushijima claiming my clit as his latest victim in his game of taunts.

A whine cracked from behind my lips, something was stirring deep within me. He’s just teasing me but yet it was enough for my legs to tremble and my core to grow heavy with desire. How the fuck was he doing this to me?

A sigh from Ushijima broke my train of jumbled thoughts, bringing me back into the hellish scene.

His breath fanned over the supple skin of my inner thigh, the heat inducing tremors to rake through my limbs.

“Aw, I’m making a mess, “ Ushijima sighed. “Oh well.”

He drew himself back from me, fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt. He plucked his shirt open one button at a time, stopping just midway of his chest.

I closed my legs, allowing him to tug my soaked pink panties from beneath me and off somewhere in the room. Ushijima returned to his post between my thighs—prying my legs apart for him to fill once again. His heavy arms curled around my thighs, his cheek nuzzled against the plumped skin.

My face swelled with heat as he continued his marvels, his hand cupping my cunt. His thick fingers settled against my lips, spreading the fat supple mounds apart for him to see.

“Oh, Y/N…” He mumbled, pulling my hips closer to his awaiting tongue.

A scattered sigh tore out from Ushijima’s mouth, tickling my bare pussy with its heat.

His heavy eyes were pinned to the raw sight he created of my pussy. I watched as his sights flickered over the scene, enticing his teeth to dig into his bottom lip. Determination painted his face with its fierce hues that it even fanned over to me. I’ve never had a man look at my cunt with such passion. It was enough for me to even succumb to the heat of it all.

“Mm, fuck. Just lemme…” Ushijima trailed off mindlessly.

Before he could even finish his thought, his lips were already busy with peppering kisses along my dewed folds. Kisses that were wet, sloppy and kiss carried the sweet, lewd cries of Ushijima coaxing my clit to join in his dance for two.

It’s filthy the way Ushijima works at my clit—his tongue lolls about my clit lazily, leaving glimmering soapy trails of spit to drip past my folds.

Every lash he delivers is a thoughtful one; the warm, soft flat of his tongue dragging against the puffy pearl, the sticky mess he’d made out of my clit clinging to the grooves of his tongue.

His lips are like velvet, left plump by the kisses we’d given each other just moments before. And to have those same luscious lips envelop my clit into a world that was nothing short of dizzying.

Just the thought of his ministrations alone left my clit spry, the bundle of nerves twitching within the confines of Ushijima’s sloppy mouth. He busied himself with a soporific rhythm, suckling at the rathe bud just for kicks.

Ushijima peered at me through dilated pupils, those olive hues flickering all about my face. I couldn’t imagine the sight he had of me being committed to memory: puffy lips spilling with drool, eyes screwed shut, and crude, whimsical curses ripping from my mouth.

“Mmhm, talk to me, Angel. feels good?”

“Mm, yesyesyes! Oh fuck, just like that Ushijima!” my voice weakly keened.

Awe glistened in my eyes as I watched him, mindlessly chasing an orgasm for my body to revel in. Yet, my drowsy lids were pinned to his jaw, bearing the weight of his hunger. Something came over me, a sense of adoration. So, I reached out to cup his jaw, grazing along what worked so hard to pull an orgasm out of me.

My thumb settled along the highs of his cheek, stroking at his flustered skin. He’s doing such a good job on my behalf, how couldn’t I thank him?

“Oh, that’s it. Y’re doing a good job, Ushijima,” I praised, sharing a weak grin.

“Oh, I’m not done with you yet, pretty girl,” he chuckled softly.

In place of his lips, Ushijima brought a single digit nip at my entrance. He drew lazy circles around my slit, prepping me for what’s to come.

He’s gentle, easing barely half an inch of his digit inside. My walls grew lax for Ushijima, sucking his long thick fingers to fill my pussy.

He made me so sensitive that just off that, I was whimpering out babbles to fall on no one’s ears in particular. Yet Ushijima still took heed to be kind with me.

“Shhh, just take me, baby. ‘m gonna go as slow as you want me to,” he assured.

I didn’t feel his hand move from my thigh, but it did, reaching out for my own. Through my drunken senses, I managed to welcome his hand into mine, our fingers folding over one another.

Bit by bit, Ushijima’s finger filled my gummy walls. He really was gentle, moving when my walls were lax and willing. He drove his finger to the hilt, only to slowly pull his digit back.

“Oh…fuckkk…s’ pretty,” he slurred, passing a glance back towards me.

“Tell me where you want me.”

“Just curl your finger up--- oooh fuck!” I mewled, tossing my head back against the couch.

My hands followed suit, splitting away from Ushijima to grip along the couch’s frame behind my head. When I had Ushijima in my sights again, it wasn’t without a smug grin crowding his visage.

“So…is it here?” Ushijima asked, the pad of his digit lightly pulsing at my sweet spot.

“Mhm, right there. Just keep doing that.”

“Aww, Y/N, you shouldn’t have told me that—‘m gonna have fun with you now.”

Ushijima snickered as he returned to my clit, inviting the perked bud to melt over his tongue all over again. I trembled at the combined notions, sending an arch to overwhelm my spine.

“W-Wait, Ushi–That’s too much, ‘m already so close!”

Ushijima merely nodded, my words essentially falling onto deaf ears. Electricity licked all throughout my body, sending twitches to rattle my weak legs. I couldn’t take it, Ushijima’s finger toying with my sweet spot, he was setting me on course for the high of my life.

“W-Wakatoshi! Toshi–fuck, ‘m cumming!” I cried, my lungs grasping for what air could enter.

His finger plugged itself at my core, bringing a seizing crash to break over my body. Every ounce of me held firm, shivering to bear the weight of my chased high. My hips waved against the pad of his digit, riding out the end of my ecstasy off whatever friction would be found.

Ushijima withdrew his finger from my cunt, leaving my poor hole bare and gaping for something else to fill me. He brought that sullied digit straight to his mouth, sucking my honey off his fingers as he gleamed over me. Sporadic breaths chimed through the sex-stained air, my chest buckling to keep up with me.

“That’s a good girl,” Ushijima cooed. “Cumming so hard for me. Look at what you did to me.”

Ushijima stood from my legs, his hand racing to grip his crotch. And he was right—his pants were strained thanks to his bulge, the fabric just barely holding itself together. But what caught my attention was the bubbly mess of precum foaming through his slacks.

“Didn’t even touch me and you made me cum, should be proud,” he chuckled.”But that’s fine, we’re even…for now.”

“And what does that mean?” I asked, shifting myself to lie on the couch.

“Let’s find out what I mean together.”

Ushijima quickly stripped himself of his clothes coaxing me to strip of whatever clothing was left on me as well. As he removed his clothing, my eyes hinged on his bare body—taut muscles highlighted his towering frame. He’s ribbed with strength chiseled to suit his build.

A thick trail of faint brown hair from his belly button guided down to the sight resting between his legs. He’s big, cock so heavy with lust that it needed no help to rise on its own. His cock was topped by a thick, fat reddened bulb, dribbling with glossy tears. His length was tanned, adorned with veins from the poor pressure building at his core. I watched as Ushijima settled himself between my legs, his dick slapping down against my tummy.

"See? Look how deep I'm gonna go," he smirked, his hand gripped at the base of his cock.

I laid my head on the couch’s armrest, lying in wait for Ushijima's next move.

Ushijima placed his painfully hard cock to lay within my folds, my clit smothered beneath the weight.

“I’m gonna go slow, okay?"

I nodded as I peered down to watch Ushijima nudged at my hole with the head of his cock, slowly prying my slit to greet his girth.

“Fuh—pretty pussy’s taking me in already. Griping me s’ fucking tight,” Ushijima seethed, his hands griping along the couch’s cushions.

My walls supplied Ushijima’s cock with gushing kisses, fluttering about his throbbing length. He kept working to bury himself to the hilt, dipping his hips to engulf my senses with nothing but him—his scent, his ardor, his fat bulbous heat fixated on digging out my cunt.

“Y’re so big, Toshi! Fuck, go deeper!”

“Nuh uh, “Ushijima tutted as his eyes came to a screwed shut. “Don’t be so greedy, Baby. I got you, just…—shit—feel me, okay? His honeyed voice whimpered.

I nodded softly, watching as Ushijima’s hips finally granted my wish. I couldn’t help but squeeze him in place, my walls fluttering around him. He was just so huge, filling out every inch of my pussy like it was nothing. My lashes grew heavy from the bubbling sear of tears lining my eyes. This pain—an intoxicating stretch sent me down a spiral of, being so full like this by Ushijima was something I was enthralled by the feeling of being so full and stretched around him.

Ushijima took notice too as he looked down at the unfolding scene.

“Aw look, you took every inch! ‘m s-so…proud of you,” Ushijima huffed out.

He leaned over me, pressing his chest flush against my own, resting his forehead within the crook of my neck. He brought his world crashing into mine, the heat of our bodies melding into one. I could even sense his heartbeat, thumping a languid aria into my skin. All I wanted to do was hold him, to have this moment last for as long as we could. But considering the throbbing mess he’d been reduced to, lust reigned over all other senses.

“I’m gonna start moving,” Ushijima mumbled into my dewed skin. “Just…talk to me, Princess. Just wanna see that face when you cum for me again…so fuckin’ bad.”

He reeled his hips back weakly, striping my walls of the salacious fill of him. He drew himself just enough to have the tip just barely slipping from out of me, only for him to stuff every inch of him to the hilt.

“T-Toshi! Ohmygosh!” I squealed, sending my hands to brace along the thick of his forearms.

“I-I know. ‘m sorry! H-Here, gonna kiss it all better,” Ushijima groaned, his lips sloppily crashing into mine.

Through all this, Ushijima’s hips rocked gently, working a cadence just for me. Slow yet deep allowed the red, weeping bulb of his cock to chip away at my need for dominance. Each reel of his cock enticed my walls to ease in his care, granting him to move that much quicker.

And within those passing moments, the quiet squelches erupted into the lewd cymbals of clashing skin breaking into the air. Ushijima drove his cock to the hilt with ease.

The same fate befell him, his quiet and restrained grunts now morphed into quivering sobs. His lips now dressed a heavy pout, dripping with his spit and carrying his weary words.

“Keep squeezing like that ‘nd I’m gonna cum."

“M-Me too, Toshi! I’m so close!”

I perched myself onto my elbows, urgent to close the valley left to exist between our two worked bodies.

Not a word had to fall from my lawless tongue for Ushijima to soothe my wants. He leaned in, hunching over to blur our worlds into one. His hand snaked around to brace the nape of my neck, bestowing a gentle grip over me just to keep me close. He pressed his forehead flush against my own, beads of sweat dotting my skin.

Our lips remained poised in the heat of our budding passion, catching every whimsical babble we had to each other.

I couldn’t resist smothering him in a kiss, lazily catching every moan to ring from his chest. He was working so hard on my behalf, driving himself mad, sweaty, and depleted just to please me—oh, how lucky was I?

He broke away from our messy kiss, muttering some mantra that seemed to grasp his concern more.

He retreated back onto his haunches, pinning his sights on the messy canvas he’d made of my cunt. His thumb, the pad of his digit etching loose loops over the cherried pearl.

I reached out to brace his wrist, pulling his hand to lay atop my tummy.

“Nuh uh, don’t wanna cum like that. J-just keep—fuck! Please don’t stop!” I sobbed, rolling my ensnared hips to match Ushijima’s tempo.

“Aww cumming already? Better make a mess or else I'm not stopping til you do.”

“Ooo-oh fuck, I-I can make a mess! Just fr’ you.”

From that pledge Ushijima and I made, a fever dream broke out over the room. A dream fueled by sinful fervor that claimed any sense Ushijima and I had down to nothing. All we had on the brain was each other, doing our own part to help reach our peaks.

As for me, he’s rendered me dumb and drunk over his cock, feeding my sweet spot with his deliciously thick girth. Dumb hiccuping babbles were all I could muster. My plushy walls were consumed by a familiar flutter, my inevitable high teetering on the edge.

“ToshiToshi, right there! I’m gonna—!" The word trapped itself within my throat, only to be replaced by a blubbering whimper.

A spell of heat licked at every nerve in my body. My eyes were sent rolling into the back of my head as my overwhelmed body coaxed my poor ruined cunt to weep, a burst of tears gushing over Ushijima’s flexed abdomen.

“Good fucking girl, making a mess just like I asked. I wanna—fuck!—'m wanna cum with you too!”

The peak of my high left me just barely conscious, my eyes heavy with the sudden heft of fatigue. Through the thick gathering of my lashes, I gawked at Ushijima, his own nirvana finally crashing down around him.

“Oh—‘m cumming! Y/N, I'm gonna cum!”

Ushijima trembled as his rutting hips came to a stuttering halt. He frantically ripped himself from inside of me, the roused nerves of his cock sent into a twitching frenzy. Nuzzling the bulbous head along my inner thigh, the warm tears of white painted skin, followed by a clogged groan pouring from Ushijima’s gaping mouth.

He collapsed on top of me, his lungs desperately heaving for air. I laced my arms around him, taking my digits through his unkempt hair as he came down.

“Shhh, it’s okay, I got you. Just relax,” I hummed softly.

Ushijima and I lay on that couch for a while longer, neither of us ready to move. As I combed through his hair, he kept a hand on my stomach, tapping away at some tempo to soothe himself. Just a quiet, peaceful reflection of the practices he and I had done.

He was right, I don't think I'll need another lover after that. My legs were practically useless, my throat sore, and my body was still reeling from the temors of my high. Even Ushijima still shivered from time to time. That moment was something straight out of a movie, calm, quiet, and filled with a growing fondness.

To my surprise, Ushijima was the first to break the silence with a question.

“So about our date, what time works—“

“Oh! You were serious about that?!”

Ushijima nodded, “Well…yes. I know it was an exercise but I really wanted to take you out somewhere nice. And I actually do know a place around here with a huge wine cellar.”

My head fell into a tilt as I studied Ushijima for a second. He’s back to his regular “stoic” self but this time every feature in his face was softened—his brows, his lips, his eyes; all carried a bout of sincerity. I simply had no heart to deny him, especially now knowing what kind of man he was in the face of rapture.

“Y’know what, Ushijima,” I purred as my hand reached to cup his cheek.

“I’d like that.”

[ziggyzolch]

Queen Bee-atch III (Regina George x reader)

These chapters have been up on ao3 and wattpad but I figured i'd put them here as well.

Warnings: Cursing, use of F-slur but its kind of stupid so dont worry

✮✮✮

“You look like hell.” It was Thursday and Janis had invited you over. “Thanks,” you mumble out while pushing past her into her house. You could navigate her house blind, it's basically your second home now. You go into her room and flop straight into her bed. “You still having trouble sleeping?” Janis asks while plopping down onto the floor. She was surrounded by music sheets and crumpled up paper, her guitar on the ground next to her. You sluggishly sit up and look at her, “Yeah, I just can’t stop thinking.” “About what?” “Nothing, I don’t know,” You push the palms of your hands against your eyes.

You and Janis have weekly jam sessions. Chilling with your best friend and learning new songs to play together was your favorite pastime. Damien joins occasionally and sings along since you and Janis can’t sing for shit. At least you think so.

“Let’s just find a song then you can nap on my bed or something.” Janis proposes. Getting up, you pick up the acoustic guitar at the corner of the room and make your way to where she was seated. This week was your turn to pick a song.

“You’ll love this song. I discovered it recently and-”

“It’s Alex G again, isn't it? The chords he uses are so weird!”

“Yeah but-”

“Please tell me you have another song.”

You sigh, “I really thought you’d agree to that one. Let’s just play ‘Where is Your Mind’ or something.”

Janis is tuning her guitar when you get a text from your mother.

-We’re going shopping. I expect you to be at the mall in 20 minutes.-

You groan and lay your whole body onto the ground. “I know I’m already here but can I get a raincheck on the session? My mom is dragging me to go shopping” You sigh while getting up. “Yeah, no worries.” Janis replies, unbothered. God you really needed to sleep.

✮✮✮

“Seriously, mother?” Your mom was holding up a pink shirt with ‘baby gurlz’ plastered on the front. She had dragged you to the mall to upgrade your wardrobe. You needed new clothes because, according to your mother, you looked like an ‘emo beggar’. Your mother rolls her eyes “You dress like a hobo that lives at Hot Topic, baby. No offense.” It’s been 3 hours since you came in and you hadn’t found anything you liked. You take the shirt out of her hands and place it back on the rack.

“Can we just go home? I have an English test tomorrow and I haven’t started studying.” The lie comes out easily. In reality, you just wanted to nap. It’s been 3 days and you’ve gotten a total of 2 hours of sleep. A sigh comes out of your mothers mouth, “You know what, go sit in the car, you’re wearing whatever I buy you. Your outfit is going to be on your desk tomorrow morning.” She could buy you a dinosaur onesie and you wouldn’t care, you just wanted to nap.

✮✮✮

Unsurprisingly, the nap plan didn’t work out. You passed out eventually though, an hour before school, but at least it was something. You were now at your locker, clad in a white crop-top and baby blue skirt that was way too short. You hadn’t actually realized what your mother had picked out until a wide-eyed Damien grabbed your shoulder and dragged you to the bathroom. “Girl, what are you wearing? Also, did you lose weight?” You look at Damien confused, until you turn to the mirror. “Oh what the f-”

“Damien? What poor girl did you drag- the fuck?” Janis looks at you in shock, Cady standing behind her, while you stare back equally mortified. “You look like a pastel emo, dude.” Janis says while walking up to you and spinning you around. You stomp your foot. “Stop! I already feel bad enough.” You whine while pushing Janis off you and turning back to the mirror. Damien walks up behind you and stops your hands that were pulling at your shirt. “Girl you got bod, and those clothes lowkey look good on you.” Your eye roll is interrupted by the bell ringing. Shit.

Your thoughts start going crazy as you’re walking to English class. God they can see my legs! They probably know you don’t usually wear skirts. They’re probably all like: ‘look at her. You know she usually doesn’t wear skirts?’

Before you know it, you're sitting at your desk in English class, looking at your notebook. When did you get here? Huh, time flies when you’re having fun. You’re giggling at your own joke when you hear someone clearing their throat next to you. Regina?

“Did you hear anything I just said? Are you even actually physically present? It’s like I’m talking to a wall.” Regina raises an eyebrow waiting for a response. “Oh uh, hi.” You mumble out pathetically. She lets out a mocking ‘hi’ before continuing, “Anyways, I’ll pick you up after school for our project.” Project? What? You look up at the board and finally notice the list of instructions written down for a book report you had to do, with details of the partners the teacher had assigned. How much of the class had passed? Your question is answered when the bell signaling the end of the period rings.

You stand up too fast and start swaying before Regina gets up and holds you by your waist to steady you. “Woah there, slow down babe,” She pauses and looks you up and down. She bends down slightly to stare directly into your eyes and taps your cheek, “Cute outfit. See you after school.”

She packs her things and walks past you into the hallway.

You really need to sleep.

✮✮✮

It's like the bottom of your skirt was a mountain climber the way it kept hiking up with every step you took. At least it's almost the end of the day. One more period and you'd be on your way home. You were dragging your feet across the hall when you felt a slap on your ass. You turn around to see one of the jocks ,that you couldn't for the life of you remember the name of, smirking down at you.

Curse him out! Why are you just standing there? Your mouth flops open and closed like a fish, trying to come up with a devastating insult.

"F-Faggot."

...What the fuck? Your eyes widened. Before you could properly process what you said, you were pushed up against a locker with the jock impossibly close to you. "Say that again, slut." He grits his teeth, pushing you further into the locker. You're suddenly released and a very angry Regina was holding him by his shirt collar. "Apologize to her." You'd hate to be on the receiving end of the glare she's giving him. He scoffs, "You've gotten soft, Regina. Anyways, I was just giving her a compliment!" Regina's eyes somehow harden even more. "If the next words that come out of your mouth aren't an apology, Shane. I swear to god." His confidence falters and he eventually mumbles out an apology. "Walk away, and take your micro-penis with you."

Regina hears a giggle from below her and her eyes soften as she sees you on the floor. She helps you up and adjusts your clothes.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's whatever."

She stares at you for a second.

"Take out your phone."

"What? Why-"

She pulls your phone out of your hand.

"I'm putting in my number, idiot."

What?

"For the project? I'm picking you up after school, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Pfft. Totally."

Giving your phone back and rolling her eyes, she turns away and leaves. From the corner of your eye you catch Janis and Damien stomping over. "Dude, why were you talking to Regina? Also our plan is working, Caddy's growing on them." You look at Janis, confused before she continues, "You need to sleep dude. Whatever we have health together let's find Caddy and get to class." Damien puts his arm around you and you all start walking. "What were you talking about with Regina, by the way?" He questions while adjusting his arm around you, "We got paired up for a project. A book report or something." You avoid bringing up the fact that you got harassed.

You love Janis and Damien, truly, but they tend to be a little overprotective. "Hah! What a nightmare!" Janis laughs. You look down at the floor, your face turning slightly red, mumbling, "She isn't that bad." The conversation dies out as you approach the classroom, Cady greeting you at the door. "Hey! So, Aaron invited me to this Halloween party..." Cady's voice fades as you sit down and put your head down onto your desk.

✮✮✮

"Nice room, Blondie." You say, going further into Regina's room. She had been waiting for you outside the school in her convertible, making it impossible for you to get out of spending time with her. Despite her recent tolerability, you couldn't forget how she used to treat you.

Regina smiles, "Thanks, Y/N. It was my mom's but I made her trade it."

"Woah. 'Y/N'? Are you going soft on me, Blondie?"

"Shut up."

You walk around her room and spot a couple of vinyls. Green day? My Chemical Romance? The Yeah Yeah Yeahs? The Strokes! What!

"Blondie, you have taste?"

Regina flips around and stomps towards you, taking the 'Stereophonics' vinyl out of your hands. "Stop going through my shit, Gerard." Back to square one.

She watches you adjust your skirt and pull at your shirt uncomfortably. Walking into her closet, she finds a pair of shorts and a loose t-shirt she hadn't worn in years. You were awkwardly standing in the middle of her room before you felt a bunch of clothes hit your face.

The shock passes and you smile at her gratefully while she rolls her eyes and takes a seat at her desk. Should you go to her bathroom? Whatever, she's already seen you shirtless. Her face turns red while she pretends not to notice you changing in front of her. You finish up and take out your laptop, taking a seat on the floor. She swivels her chair to face you, "So, what book were you thinking?" You look up at her, slightly shocked. You didn't think she'd give you a choice.

"Oh. Uh. The Bell Jar?"

"Too bleak."

"It ends nicely though!"

"No! Pick something else."

"Okay, uh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation?" You propose with an eyebrow raised.

She glares at you.

"Are all the books you read just about mentally ill women?"

You sigh, "Pretty much. Oh! What about Matilda!"

She opens her mouth to argue, then pauses for a moment.

"Actually that doesn't sound too bad. Matilda it is."

✮✮✮

An hour passed before Regina looked up from her report and found you curled up on her floor, your laptop discarded to the side. After putting away your laptop, she approaches you and stares down at you. Hands on her hips, she looks around before letting out a breath and picking you up. "Gina?" You mumble out.

She shushes you and places you on her bed. "No. No, it's fine. I have to finish the report." Attempting to sit up, you whine when she pushes you back onto her bed. "We have a week till it's due. Rest." She leaves no room to argue as she tucks you in. "No! Oh wow. Your bed is so comfortable." Your eyes start drifting close and the last thing you see is Regina placing a kiss on your head.

✮✮✮

"I mean I've been dressing up as a mouse since freshman year, why would I change now?" Karen's voice takes you out of your blissful slumber. How long have you been asleep? "You're barely even a mouse, Karen." You could hear Gretchen reply. The sun had started setting, from what you could tell. You sit up, rubbing your eyes and looking around the room. Gretchen and Karen were sitting on the floor while Cady was laying above the sheets next to you. "Hey sleepyhead!" Cady pinches your cheek and tackles you when you try to push her away. She straddles your waist and starts tickling you. "Dude!...Stop!" You say in between giggles.

"What's going on here?" Regina must've been in the bathroom, "Finally up? I was getting ready to call the funeral house, Gerard." She was wearing sweatpants and a tank top. You accidentally glance down at her chest and turn away quickly, blushing, unaware of Regina's knowing smirk. She must've changed when you wear asleep.

Cady finally stops her assault on you. "Ha. Ha" You roll your eyes, moving to get up when Cady grabs your arm and pulls you back down, "Did you wrestle a bear or something?" Looking down to see what she was talking about, you notice a huge hand shaped bruise on your shoulder. You can feel everybody's eyes on you. "Oh, I fell during PE. It's nothing" You shrug her hand away and rub your shoulder, walking towards the walk-in closet, ignoring Regina's eyes burning a hole in your back. Bending down to pick up your clothes, a bright pink book catches your attention.

"Hey. Why didn't you tell Cady about Shane- No!" Regina's eyes widen as rushes towards you and pulls the book out of your hand. It's too late, your page had been the first one you found when you opened the book. Standing up, your voice wavers, "Thank you for being so accommodating, I'll get out of your hair now." You bump your shoulder into her getting out of the closet, hurting yourself more than her.

The silence that followed after you slammed the door on your way out was loud. Regina plops down next to Karen and Gretchen, Cady following after her. Running her hands through her hair, Regina sighs and stares at her bedroom door.

"Fuck."

✮✮✮

[hellfire--cult]

SoftDom!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

wc: 4k

+18 MDNI, SOME fluff, smut, p in v, fingering, blowjob, rough sex, bondage, breeding kink, dirty talk, non-safe sex, reader being a bratty fiancé

Plot: The pandemic had its ups and downs. One of the good things it brought was the fact that your husband can forever work remotely from home. But you sometimes get a little needy.

A/N: Just filth. Pure filth.

please always reblog, thank you

HOME OFFICE

The pandemic had its ups and downs.

You for one, didn’t mind staying home, but you did miss your friends and family terribly. You’ve always worked online and remotely at home for a company outside the country, so that wasn’t something that changed for you like it did for many others.

In those many others, it includes your husband.

You thought he would return to the office as soon as it was declared that you could head outside, but no such thing happened. It seems that there’s more productivity from people working at home rather than going physically to the workplace. You don’t work 9-5 like your husband does, so you have time to clean the house a little bit, cook lunch and dinner. 

He would always be so grateful for the food. Sometimes he would be in a meeting and you would come in very quietly and place the plate of food and a glass of water on the corner of the desk and then head out. Twenty minutes later your husband would rush out of the room as soon as the meeting was over to pepper your face in kisses as if to say thank you for the attention. 

But there were times when your husband wasn’t having the best of days. 

Working from home also stresses you out sometimes, because you are overwhelmed with stuff because, since you’re more productive, they give you more things to do. That’s just what they do to your poor husband. But there are times that he overworks himself just because he thinks he needs to.

Like today.

“Baby, you should’ve gotten off work two hours ago…” You cooed at him from the doorway, wearing a silk robe on your body and just that. For the past week your husband has not been paying attention to you, and it’s because he is just being a people pleaser. 

“I’m just trying to finish this sheet sweetheart, promise I’ll get off soon.” That wasn’t the answer you wanted from him at all. 

“Steve…” You were whining now, and his head turned to look at you for a second, and that’s when you saw the instant click in your husband’s eyes.

Your husband was overall sweet, and very dutiful. He was always considered the mom of your group of friends, even though you were right there. Always taking care of others before himself, and always being one step ahead of stuff in order to say ‘already took care of it’.

But there was a side that only you knew about your husband. You got to know it when you two were one year into the relationship, three years ago. You two had just moved in together, and you were cranky for not being able to sleep comfortably in your new bed, taking your time to adjust into it. 

So of course, you were snappy at everything your husband did wrong, even if it was leaving the toilet seat up, or leaving one single used spoon in the sink. That night, you got to meet a side of your boyfriend you never expected from him, yet you were delighted, and your mood instantly got better afterwards.

This side of him is only triggered… when you’re being a brat.

“I am working. Don’t whine.” Steve said in a very stern voice, a voice that only ignited the heat between your legs even more than before. His eyes returned to the computer as he began typing away. 

You licked the inside of your cheek and you strutted towards the desk which was in the middle of the room, putting both of your hands on the edge that was on the other side of him, and you leaned forward, looking down at your husband.

“I whine cause you haven’t been paying attention to me for the past week.” He only gave you one glance, not caring for how much you were showing your cleavage to him, and his eyes went back to the screen in front of him, his fingers never stopping from typing. You could see the reflection of the computer on his glasses, and it just irritated you even more.

“You know there’s always a week that I’m full of work. We’ll do whatever you want tomo–”

“Now!” You stomped your foot with a whiny cry, as if you were a child, but you were tired of being pent up because of this, and he closed his eyes with a sigh, but you could also hear a groan in his throat.

“Don’t be a fucking brat.” He called your name, a threat, and you straightened up after that, and he didn’t say anything else. He resumed his typing and you were angry. Seething. You had two options right here: One of them was to walk out of the room, take care of yourself in the room, and then go cook dinner…

Or…

You dropped on your knees and immediately crawled under the desk, finding his legs that were covered in grey sweatpants as your hands started from his ankles, and slowly gliding them up, biting your bottom lip as you reached his thighs. You heard him take a deep intake of breath, but the typing never stopped, which only made you even more frustrated.

You hummed as you reached his bulge, and you smirked as you found some hardness in the pants. You did rile him up when you walked into the room. You pressed your hand onto it and you felt him move, even if slightly, on his chair. You started rubbing onto it, slowly, and you could feel his cock getting harder by each stroke, a tent starting to form under the cloth.

Your hands then went to the hem of his pants and you bit your lip, not knowing if he will comply and help you take his sweatpants off, but as you tugged, you saw him raise his hips up and in a quick move you pulled both of the pants and boxers down, letting them pool around his ankles.

His dick sprung up, hitting on his stomach with a smack. You bit your lip as you scooted closer, your nails scratching onto his thighs as they moved up and up. He was still sitting straight as he typed away on his computer, but you didn’t care any longer. You just needed him in your mouth.

You leaned forward in order to spit right at the pink tip and then your hand ran all over it to gather your saliva, and use it as lubricant as you started pumping him, slowly, up and down, causing his dick to twitch in your hand as it became fully hard in your grip. A smile appeared on your lips as you heard the typing stop for a second and then resumed as if he had never stopped.

You then guided your mouth close to the tip, running your tongue all over the slit, and then you did the one thing that makes him crazy, which is licking on his frenulum, right under the head. You flicked on it going from side to side in a fast motion. You heard a growl above you, and you smirked as you finally took him into your mouth.

You used your hand in order to help yourself as you started bobbing your head up and down on him, slowly, at your own pace in order to taste him as you liked. The hint of saltiness started and you knew that he was starting to leak precum as you kept moving, your other hand grabbing onto his thigh for leverage.

You pulled him out of your mouth so you could press soft kisses along the shaft, to then lick from the bottom and up, giving a kiss to the head and then gliding your tongue onto the slit, giving a soft press there. You took him back into your mouth as you started becoming wetter at each bob of your head.

And then you heard it. Or well, you didn’t hear it anymore. The typing had stopped, and then a slam happened, making you pull away from him, hand still wrapped around his dick as you sat there, waiting for whatever was happening. He sat back on his chair and looked down at you underneath the desk.

You shivered as you looked up at your husband who had a frown in his eyebrows and his jaw was completely clenched, going slightly to the side that displayed his anger. His hand immediately went to the back of your head, grasping tightly onto the hair there, making you wince as he pulled your face towards his dick again, smashing it against your cheek.

“You want to be a slut? Fine. Put my cock back into your fucking mouth.” 

You whined as you complied, opening your mouth to take him in again, but you couldn’t even  wrap your hand around him to help you as you felt him guide your head down on him. He was being rough, and it almost hit the back of your throat, but he pulled on your hair to bring you back up again, only to make you plunge you back down again.

Your hands gripped onto his thighs as his other hand went to untie the tie that was on his neck. Just like everyone that works remotely does, he dresses nicely on his upper body, and then comfortably on his bottoms for the online meetings where his camera has to be on. He slid the black tie off and threw it on the desk as he kept bobbing your head up and down on him.

“You couldn’t fucking wait for a few more minutes.” You hummed against his cock as he put both of his hands now on each side of your head. “Through your nose.”

And you knew what this meant, so you started taking in air through your nose and that’s when he shoved your head down as he pushed his hips up at the same time, making him hit the back of your throat. Your eyes become teary as your face flushed, a gurgle of saliva vibrating in your throat as he pulled you back up and put his hips down, only to repeat the previous action again.

You were gagging on his cock as he throat fucked you intensely, feeling the walls of it already bruising from how rough he was being with you as he gripped onto your head, his fingers clenching on your hair. Your nails were digging into his thighs as you kept yourself on your knees.

“Look at those fucking tears.” You heard him chuckle in between his groans as his hips kept thrusting up into your mouth. “You wanted my cock, so you are going to take it how I like it.”

Said tears were running down your face like a waterfall from the intensity of it all, feeling your throat becoming sore and the gags were already making your stomach turn a little bit. You gave him a tap on his thigh and he took notice of that, stopping his movements all together, and pulling your head up.

You took a sharp intake of breath with a gasp. Saliva mixed with precum was sliding down from the corner of your lips as you huffed for air. His face came close to yours, and he didn’t even look fazed by what he had done to you. 

“Color?” And behind the roughness, your husband was still there. The sweet husband that always took care of you first beyond everything else. You gulped in order to get saliva in your throat once more, letting you talk clearly.

“G-Green…” 

He stood up abruptly from the chair, making it fall back behind him and he raised you up on your two feet by the hair. You yelped in pain but before you could continue with a whine, his lips clashed against yours. You moaned against the kiss and you wanted to wrap your arms around him, but you knew better than that, so you kept them dangling on your sides. 

His tongue invaded your mouth without permission, making you whine in need and then you felt his hand rip open your silk robe, shoving it away from your body with his big hands. The chill air hitting your breasts, perking the nipples up instantly, hardening the bud. One of his hands immediately cupped one of your tits, and pinched onto the nipple, harshly.

You yelped onto his tongue and he chuckled as he moved his hand downwards while the other gripped onto your ass, pulling you closer. Your body was on fire as his fingers instantly found your clit, slowly moving them in circled motions and then went down in between your folds. He pulled away from you, finally letting you moan out into the room.

“So wet for me. Did sucking my dick turn you on this much?” You could only nod at him and then your eyes widened when he landed a slap against your clit, causing you to whimper. “Answer me.”

“Y-Yes–” You could only gasp as you felt two fingers plunging inside of you in one motion, and your hands shot up in order to hold onto his shoulders as you moaned out a cry at the sudden stretch.

“Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?” You nodded at his words as he pumped his fingers in and out of you and you moved your hips against them, trying to follow his rhythm. He was guiding you with the hand that was on your ass, pushing you further into him at each thrust.

“S-Steve, baby– Please–” You begged. You needed him inside of you, right this second. His fingers are not doing justice to what he could do to you. He growled, biting back a come back, but he was already frustrated himself, and he wanted to cum. He desperately needed to cum.

He pulled his fingers out of you, making you sigh from disappointment only to be manhandled into turning around, and then he pushed your upper back onto the table, bending you completely with your ass in the air. He grabbed onto the tie he left on the desk before.

“Arms behind.” You were breathing a little bit heavy as you complied to his wishes, putting your arms behind your back. He tied your forearms together, and you knew that your shoulders were going to be sore tomorrow, but it was going to be so worth it. “What do you need?”

“Hngh–” You wiggled your ass towards him, but the only thing that earned you was a loud smack onto one of your cheeks, making you whine.

“You acted like a fucking brat to get it. Have the decency to tell me what it is and I will give it to you.”

“I– I need your cock Stevie, please– Please, I need it…” And he didn’t need any more indulgence. He grabbed onto both your plump cheeks that were wiggling at him and he spread them open. He smirked at your puckered hole, and it was a shame he didn’t prep you for that tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

He lined his cock up towards your wet pussy, sliding against your clit a few times, making you moan in need, and then with no warning, he pushed inside of you, and your eyes widened when he didn’t take his time to let you adjust. He just kept going, knocking the air out of your mouth as the side of your head rested against the desk.

“So fucking tight…” He groaned out. “Even after all these years you’re still so tight for me baby…”

“Steve–” Your words were cut short when in one sharp thrust he pushed forward, completely seething himself inside of you, and your mouth fell into a wide ‘o’ shape as your eyebrows frowned at the friction of it all. It was too much, but it felt so good. It always feels so good.

He got hold of your tied forearms, and just like a cowboy would ride his horse and your arms were his reins. He straightened up, his other free hand dangling on his side, looking down at you, with his glasses still on. The reflection of your ass was the one that was over the crystals, and he smirked as he pulled his hips back, and then pushed forward again, and pulled on your arms to bring you to him.

You let out a loud moan and cry of his name, feeling him hit onto your spongy part that resided inside of you, but then went deeper than that. Your husband has always been on the bigger side, and feeling him splitting you like this only added fuel to the fire that was inside of you.

He started a brutal pace, skin slapping constantly as his balls hit against your clit, his hips against your ass that jiggled at each movement. He was trying to hold in the groans in his throat as he slapped one of your ass cheeks with his free hand while the other kept pulling you to him.

“Baby, did you come here for another reason?” You heard him ask, but your mind was still gone as he kept pistoning his hips against you, earning another loud smack on your ass that will probably leave a bruise, making you cry and snapping you back into reality. “Is it because it’s the perfect time? It is, isn't it?”

“Y-Yes! God–” You had come with two missions today, and one of them was being fulfilled, the other will soon happen.

“You came for me to fill you up? Have you all full of my cum so it takes?” He moaned as he felt your walls clench around him at his words. You nodded against the desk as tears rolled down and hit the wood under your face. You were going to cum without him touching you at all, just from his dick hitting your g-spot repeatedly.

“Yes, yes, please, Steve– Make me pregnant, fill me up–” He groaned behind you as his thrusts became harder, the slapping of skin even louder than before and you could hear grunts coming out of his throat as you whimpered his name many times, your walls clenching each second that passed.

“I can’t fucking wait to see your belly all round with my baby, fuck– sweetheart I can’t fucking wait…” That was enough for you to cum around him, letting out a loud yell of his name, legs trembling as his pace stopped for a second because you were clenching too hard all around him. “Fuck– Sweetheart–”

He winced at the friction of your cunt around him, and when he felt you start to relax, just slightly, he took a deep breath in and started his pace again, not letting you come down from your orgasm, wanting to drive you straight to another one thanks to overstimulation. 

“St–Steve, baby, stop–” But it wasn’t a true plea. You knew it wasn’t something you actually wanted, and he knew it too, so that’s why he didn’t stop at all. He smacked your ass once and he felt himself twitch inside of you, making him groan loudly.

“I’m gonna fill you up– You’re going to be so full.” He groaned when his glasses started to fog thanks to his jagged breaths, and he took them off to throw them onto the desk, beads of sweat coming down his forehead. You were choking on your moans as you tried to move your strained arms again, when you felt your walls start clenching, and you felt like you were dying from how hard your orgasm was going to be.

“S-Steve– Steve!” You couldn’t warn him fast enough that you were cumming onto his cock again, right after the last one you had because he didn’t let you rest from it. This time, your g-spot was so overstimulated that it made your juices gush out on him, drenching your legs and his. 

“F-Fuck, shit!” He was too overwhelmed with the view that he pushed you onto his cock as he thrusted deep inside of you, and he let out a loud moan as the ropes of his white spent filled your walls. You whimpered through a moan as you felt the warmth invade your insides.

You two were left panting in the room, trying to get your breathing back to normal. He was the first to regain his composure again as he untied the tie around your arms, and thanks to feeling the relief from being able to move them again, you snapped back into reality. You took a sharp intake of breath as you blinked and pressed your hands against the desk in order to pull yourself up. 

Your legs were shaking and you didn’t have time to recover yourself that he was turning you around to sit you on the desk. 

“What–?” You managed to breathe out for a second before you felt his fingers gather your juices and his cum that was already dripping out of your cunt, and plunging them inside like a plug. You let out a whimper at the sensation and he leaned forward to press a kiss on one of your stained cheeks.

“I know baby… I know…” He didn’t move his fingers, he just kept them there. “I’ll prepare dinner tonight, you just lay down on the couch, okay?” 

Your lovely husband was back, the rough demeanor already gone and you smiled as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close. Steve and you had been trying for the past few months, and today was another month you were going to try and you were ovulating. 

“God, I hope it takes…” You sighed out dreamily and he nodded at that, wanting nothing more for you two to finally become parents. He pressed a soft kiss against your forehead and then sent a smile your way.

“I hope so too. Also, way to rile me up.” You giggled at him as he wiped your cheeks lovingly with his free hand. 

“Maybe we just needed to do it roughly…” You wiggled your eyebrows at him and he tsked at you with his tongue, lightly slapping the side of your thigh, making you chuckle. 

“There’s no way that the way we have sex influences it.”

To Steve’s surprise, it does, because a month later your pregnancy test came out positive.

God bless working from home. 

A/N: I never wrote a just steve fic before, so here it is, welcome to my dirty thoughts

[writing-intheundercroft]

The Night Shift

AO3 Link

Pairing: Auror!Sebastian x F!MC

Word Count: 10,206

Rating: T (just some smooches but plenty of angst)

Summary: You're the lead healer in the St. Mungo's intensive care unit, and a painfully familiar face ends up in your ward.

A/N: Took a break from my long fics this week to deliver a long angsty Seb one shot. I heard Phoebe Bridgers cover Night Shift and became feral over it. Perhaps it needs a smutty part two???

Night One

“I’m so glad you were able to slip away from work for a bit.” Poppy says, pouring tea into your cup.

You smile up at the brunette girl, who still wears her hair in a cropped bob, albeit a bit more fashionable now that you’re in your twenties.  You miss Poppy’s presence in your life, but her career as a mazoologist and yours as a lead healer in the intensive care unit of St. Mungo’s has your schedules rarely crossing.  

“It’s nice to be out in the sunlight,” you say coyly, lifting the cup to your mouth. It's the truth–you haven’t been out to tea with a friend, dressed in a pretty lace gown in what feels like ages.  Your career usually has you in a tightly pulled bun, hair out of your face to focus on your patients, with bloodied aprons.  Magic can heal most ailments, but your ancient abilities make you the best bet for the most gravely wounded.  So much so that you’ve worked six nights a week every week for the past five years, sleeping during the day to make it to your overnight shifts at the hospital.

With few exceptions.

But there’s coverage today, giving you a rare Saturday afternoon off to enjoy the warm spring day.  You and Poppy are sitting outside a tea shop in Diagon Alley, catching up on all things personal, while people watching.  It’s strange, you think, to be surrounded by so many people.  You leave for your shift at seven thirty in the evening, when most people are getting home for dinner, and return to your flat far after everyone has left for work.  

Poppy had just started telling you a story about a wild herd of manticores she’d encountered on her travels abroad, when a familiar face walked up to your table.

“Merlin’s beard, I never thought I’d see the likes of you two ever again,” Andrew Larson grins.

“Andrew,” Poppy smiles. “It’s good to see you.”

There are obligatory kisses on the cheek as the handsome Ravenclaw pulls up a chair. “What are you doing in town, Poppy?”  

“Visiting my gran, of course.” She tilts her head towards you. “And catching up with friends.”

“And you, it’s like you’re back from beyond the grave.” Andrew shifts his attention, teasing you. “Haven’t seen you in a long time.”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms. “Just busy keeping people from their graves, that’s all.”

“I’ve heard.” Andrew elbows you. “Youngest lead healer in all of St. Mungo’s.”

“Yet being the youngest earned me the night shift.” You wrinkle your nose.  “And very few days off.”

“How’s the auror office doing?” Poppy quips, leaning her chin into her palm.

Andrew shrugs. “Busy; we’re working on a big case right now, but we finally got a few hours off to enjoy lunch.  I was just heading over to the Cauldron, meeting Sallow and Clopton for a bite.”

You swallow thickly.  It’s been five years since you last spoke to Sebastian Sallow.  At this point, you can’t exactly remember how it ended, except that the two of you had screamed at one another.  You were fairly certain you’d thrown a book at his head, and he’d knocked over your favorite mug in the process. You still had it, the handle broken off, now used as a quill holder at your desk.

“Oi, Larson!  Quit flirting, we’ve just gotten a message. All hands on deck at the office.” 

Both you and Poppy turn to the voice; Everett Clopton is standing a few paces away, wearing a smart suit.  He still has his gold wire glasses, but he’s grown into them. He’s wearing a hat, tipping the brim to you both in acknowledgement.

You hate the way your breath hitches when you see their companion.  Sebastian is also dressed well, sporting a tweed three piece suit, shiny black dress shoes, and a gold auror badge attached to his lapel.  He meets your gaze briefly before looking back up to Andrew, who’s moving the chair back to its proper table.

“Emergency meeting,” Sebastian utters gloomily. “Ruined a good lunch.”

Your stomach twists at the sound of his voice.  It’s no more than six words, but your insides feel like a wet towel being wrung out.  And Sebastian doesn’t even have the decency to look at you, avoiding eye contact with the person he considered his best friend for three years.  The audacity of him, to completely ignore the person who once held his fate in their hands–you feel the bile rising in your throat, swallowing down the anger that once consumed you.

No, you won’t let a tiny interaction with Sebastian ruin five years of hard work.  You stare at the cutlery on the table, willing him to leave.

Andrew Larson sighs, rapping his knuckles against the table. “It was good seeing you girls,” he smiles. “Hopefully I run into you again.”

The three boys–men, rather, you are all twenty three at this point–shuffle away.  

There is a heavy silence between you and Poppy, until she clears her throat.

“Are you okay?” she asks softly.

You nod, collecting yourself as you smile at her. “Perfectly fine.  It’s been ages, Poppy. We’re all over it.”

She grabs your gloved hand, pulling it towards her.  “You certainly are,” she says playfully, twisting the sparkling bauble on your left ring finger. “It’s gorgeous, by the way.”

“I never get to wear it,” you admit sheepishly. It’s been a month since your engagement, and you’ve hardly worn your ring; your fiance’s parents are perturbed that the announcement hasn’t been posted to the Daily Prophet yet. Despite having courted for the last year and a half, it still feels like everything has moved too fast, like you’ve fallen off your broom mid flight. For the most part, your engagement ring is safely tucked in its box atop your dresser, at the risk of getting bodily fluids on it during your shifts.

“He’s a lucky man.” Poppy echoes, sitting back in her chair. “You are happy, aren’t you?”

You’re doing fine, you think.  You’re at the top of your field.  You have a fine flat in a nice part of London, and a promise from a man that’s kind to you.  The kind of man who waited for you to get off your shift to bring you breakfast, and took you to a nice restaurant on your Friday nights off. You hadn’t expected a pretty ring from him, especially since you only graced him with your presence once a week, but then again, your last relationship had taught you not to expect anything at all.

A flash of brunette hair crosses your mind; you blink away the thought.

“I’m happy.  Very happy,” you say simply, holding your teacup up to your lips again. “So about the manticores…”

You jolt out of bed, a blue wisp of a rabbit bouncing around your bedroom.  It’s rare to get a patronus message at this hour; it can only mean an emergency at the hospital.  It also must be bad, considering they’re calling you in on your day off.

Without another thought, you tumble out of bed, rushing to your wardrobe to pull out your clothes.  Your unit specifically wears a deep purple–dark enough to hide stains.  Your shrug on undergarments and petticoats, and a burgundy gown with a high neckline.  Your hands know exactly how to tighten your hair into a knot within a minute, having perfected the craft over the five years of your career. Your wand is stowed in your dress pocket; you’ll grab an apron at the ward.  Grabbing a fistful of floo powder next to your fireplace, you step in, yelling out for St. Mungo’s.

The ward is in a flurry as you step out of the flames.  A nurse hands you a white cotton apron, which you wrap around your waist as you hold your wand between your teeth.  There are men all over, gashed and bleeding, as other healers take their information. 

“What’s happened?” You bark at an orderly, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“Auror ambush by some ashwinders,” he says dryly. “It’s awful.  Lost a few–even more are bleeding.  It’s dark magic, some sort of spell to keep the wounds bleeding.”

“Of course it is, those bastards.” You mutter. “I’ll take the worst of them.  Can someone bring me a coffee?”

He nods, pointing over to a bay of beds a few feet away. “Those three–they specifically requested you.” He hands off the charts, promising a caffeinated beverage.

You’re about to start flipping through the charts when you hear your name.  Your head flies up at the familiar voice, and you feel the blood drain from your face. You can see Everett Clopton waving his hands at you; Andrew Larson’s voice is yelling behind the curtain.  And just your luck, a pair of black shiny dress shoes are dangling off the examination table, twisted in an unnatural way.

Before you even realize it, you’re running to them.  The charts are promptly cast onto the side table when you duck behind the curtain, a gasp catching in your throat.

Sebastian looks awful.  

Correction–Sebastian looks dead.

“He jumped in front of me,” Everett panics, his hands on his head. “He shouldn’t have–we were talking, we thought we were out of the thick of it–”

“He’s been hit badly,” Andrew interjects.  His sleeves are bloodied from trying to apply pressure to a gash across Sebastian’s chest, the blood seeping through his shirt and vest. “You have to do something,” he pleads. “He’s the best of us–we can’t lose him.”

“Move,” you urge the two of them.  They scoot out of your way, and you make quick work of Sebastian’s clothing.

Years ago, tearing off Sebastian’s shirt would’ve been done out of passion, out of love.  You push those thoughts out of your mind as you rip through his white dress shirt, which is sopping wet with blood. Sebastian’s skin is cold and clammy; even his freckles are pale, disappearing from his face.

“Get me some dittany and shrivelfigs,” you screech at the other healers. “And the blood renewing potions, please.” You run your hand and your wand over Sebastian’s wounds, uttering a healing charm. “Vulnera sanentur, vulnera sanentur, vulnera sanentur,” you mutter under your breath.  The spell isn’t healing fast enough, Sebastian is still losing too much blood.

You let out the  blue wisps of magic from your fingertips as you channel some of your ancient magic into the healing spell. You’re still mad at Sebastian, of course, but you’ll be damned if he dies on your watch.  

To your relief, the wounds start knitting themselves shut faster, but the scars look awful, all purpled and raised.  Another healer is next to you, urgently crushing the dittany and shrivelfigs into a paste–an idea you got from the patient lying in front of you during your sixth year.  You’d been battered so often during Crossed Wands, the two of you had experimented with salves and balms to lessen the appearance of your scars. 

“He appears to be stabilizing,” the junior healer claims. “Good job, as always.”

You suppress the choked out cry that’s stuck in your throat as you think of Ominis, and how he used to scold the two of you for experimenting.  He’d be thankful now that you did.

“There’s others,” another healer urges you. “We must move on to the next.”

You don’t want to.  Sebastian seems to be stirring, groaning as the healer rubs the salve onto the gaping wound that streaks across his chest.  You can hear Everett and Andrew crying and laughing on the other side of the curtain, exclaiming your name for having saved their partner.

There’s so much commotion, you could swear Sebastian uttered your name, but when you look back, his head is flat on the table, eyes shut.  The color is slowly returning to him, now no longer pale and gray.

“We have to keep him for observation,” you instruct another healer, handing her Sebastian’s chart. “I’ll check on him later.  In the meantime, there are others.”

Without another glance, you move on to the next bay.

“Excellent work as always,” your boss pats you on the shoulder. “You saved six good men tonight with your quick work.”

“I should just move into the ward,” you mutter under your breath before taking a large swig of coffee.  

Your dress is stained with blood, fingers aching from all the healing you’d done.  From the twelve aurors in the ambush, three had superficial wounds (Larson and Clopton included).  Two had passed in the field, another before you’d gotten to the hospital.  But all six of the aurors you’d treated, Sebastian included, were now tucked into private rooms, safe and breathing. You were keeping them for observation, unsure of what kind of curse the ashwinders had used on them.  Your ancient magic managed to seal the wounds, but all were badly scarring.  They’d all have to stay until you could rule out the cause.

After a much needed shower and an owl sent to your fiance, regretfully informing him you’d not make it to brunch with his parents, you start making your rounds. Most of your patients are sleeping deeply, others dizzily asking what happened.  You save Sebastian’s room for last; Clopton and Larson, faithful companions, are sleeping in chairs outside of his room.

You quietly shut the door behind you, gulping as you stare at the man laying in the hospital bed. His chubby cheeks are long gone, hollowed and chiseled by age. You’d laughed at him when you were seventeen and he claimed he had a beard coming in; now you can see traces of stubble lining his jaw. His unruly chestnut hair has been brushed out of his face in a way you know he’ll hate.

But you don’t know that, not truly. Because you don’t know Sebastian anymore.

“Oh Sebastian,” you tut, sitting at a stool next to his bed. You hover your hands over his body, a misty blue glow emitting from them. No internal bleeding at least. He’s had at least three blood renewing potions, and his breathing is steady. You would examine the scars across his chest and torso, but the thought of undressing him in his current state is inappropriate to you. 

You’re about to get up, leave him to his slumber when you hear it. He whispers your name in his sleep, head falling to the side. And instead of him being the one with a gaping wound, you feel like a hole has been drilled into your chest. 

Maybe you’ll ask for tomorrow off.

Night Two

You’d asked for the day off again, but the request was denied.  Begrudgingly, you dress for your shift, tucking your hair behind your ears as you walk with your daytime counterpart down the hallway.

“You’ve missed all the commotion,” your fellow healer gasps.  She’s filling you in on the day shift, and all that’s transpired since you left in the morning. “There was a memory charm laced in with that blood curse from the ashwinders—some of them have lost weeks, years of memories. Not recognizing their wives or their children; we’ve had to close the doors to all visitors.”

“That’s a nasty curse.” You mutter, flipping through charts. Only someone sick in the head would mess with memory tampering curses—you wonder why no one has petitioned for them to be banned. The long term care wing at St. Mungos is filled with too many people who’d tinkered with memory spells, and you sincerely hope none of the aurors under your care end up there.

“Terrible, of course. But it made for an interesting day.” She hums. “You should’ve seen Rowle’s wife, security had to cart her out after he called her the wrong name. Think he courted her twin sister too.” 

You laugh with her as you walk through the hallway, until your heart fills with dread.  

“How is Sallow?  The patient in 213.”

She tilts her head. “Fine I think–oh, he was asking for you.  Do you know him?”

You fight back the red flush that’s creeping up your neck. “We were schoolmates.” You say. Nothing more. Sebastian can’t be more, especially after you’d done such hard work to forget him in the first place.

After your colleague has clocked out and you’ve checked all your other patients, you quietly rap your knuckles against Sebastian’s door.  It’s late enough at night that he might be asleep already, and you can avoid the entire awkward conversation.

“Come in!” 

Shit.

You open the door, and Sebastian is staring right back at you.  He isn’t scowling like you thought he would be–his eyes are bright, a beaming smile on his lips.

“They told me you were working the night shift.” he says happily, scratching at the collar of his hospital gown. “I stayed awake.”

“Right, Mr. Sallow,” You say curtly, eyes down at the chart in front of you. “It is late, you should be getting rest–”

“But I’ve been waiting for you,” he frowns. 

You look up at him, and instead of a grown man, you see the puppy dog eyes that got you in trouble the few years you had at Hogwarts. “Mr. Sallow, rest is essential to your healing. You’ve been through quite the ordeal, and you need to go to sleep.”

“Why are you talking to me like you don’t know me?” Sebastian asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Pet, it’s me.”

You inhale sharply, white knuckling the edge of the bed. “Sebastian,” you mutter (you hate how easily his name rolls off your lips still), “what year do you think it is?”

He rolls his eyes and chuffs. “It’s 1893, duh.”

“It’s not,” you sigh. “It’s 1898. You were in an ambush yesterday, and it seems the Ashwinders are using a memory curse as retaliation nowadays.”

He blinks at you for a moment, before he bursts into laughter. “Really?  I’ve lost five damn years in my head?  What have I missed? Don’t tell me we’re not married yet.”  Only Sebastian could be jovial about such a matter; all the others were utterly distraught at losing their memories.

“Sebastian, darling, we haven’t seen each other in five years.” you confess, moving to the edge of the bed.  Your voice is quiet, and although it’s been ages since you last called him darling, you think it might be too much on his poor heart if you don’t. The poor man just asked if you were married, for Merlin’s sake.

His smile fades. “What?”

“We…we went our separate ways five years ago.” You clear your throat. “It…it was a mutual decision.” you lie.  Was it a lie?  You honestly can’t remember.

“I would never,” Sebastian bites back.  “I would never break up with you.”

“Darling, it’s been a very long time,” you say softly, wringing your hands together. “And I’m okay–you’re okay.  We’re both doing well…just on our own now.”

“I can’t–this doesn’t make sense,” he jolts away from your touch, and you flinch. “Why would I ever agree to such a thing?” 

You can recognize the tell tale signs of panic on a patient’s face, so you hurry over to the cupboard, pouring a glass of water.  Sebastian is too far away to see you slip the vial of dreamless sleep into the glass, swirling it into oblivion.

“Here, drink this.  You’ll feel much better,” you assure him. 

Sebastian absentmindedly takes the glass, gulping down the water as he tries to make sense of the current situation. “It doesn’t make sense,” he mutters under his breath as he starts rubbing his eyes.  He’s fighting the effects, and he looks up at you, a deep set frown on his face. “You dosed me, dammit.” The glass rolls out of his hand and onto the bed, where you scoop it up. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, and it's sincere.  But you’re not equipped to handle Sebastian in such a state–you aren’t equipped to handle him, period.  It’s been five years since you’ve had to mind his temper, and your heart can’t handle the pain.  

Before you know it, Sebastian is knocked out, the dreamless sleeping draught taking over his body.  With his eyes tightly shut, you can finally examine him.  The scars across his chest are still purple, bruises lining his torso.  Your fingers dance across his skin trying to heal him, but alas, they stay.

You make notes on his chart, letting the other healers know he may be groggy and upset when he wakes in the morning. Even though they’ve put a no visitors policy on the aurors, you remind them to call upon Ominis and Anne to see if they can talk some sense into him.  

The last you’d asked Natty about Sebastian, he was happy.  He was climbing up the ranks in the auror office, and he’d finally moved out of Ominis’s spare room.  You’d cut her off once she started telling you how he was dating–that you didn’t need to know.

That had been two years ago.  You wonder what’s changed since then.

Night Three

Your pleas for a night off have gone unanswered.  Your boss tells you that you’re too integral to the auror case to be gone for more than twelve hours.  

There’s a note left by your fiance’s owl; he’s sad you missed brunch, but he’s excited to take you out on Friday, your next scheduled day off.  His mother is insistent the two of you sit for an engagement portrait that will be posted in the Daily Prophet to announce your impending union.  You fold the note and toss it onto your desk; when you have a free moment, you’ll write a letter explaining that you would like a lengthy engagement.

Planning a wedding and working the night shift is just too much work for you.  You twist your large engagement ring off your finger and put it in its box before taking the floo network to St. Mungo’s.

You’re barely five steps out of the fireplace before a body hits you.  

“Thank goodness you’re here,” Anne Sallow breathes, her arms enveloping you. “You saved him. He’d be dead if it weren’t for you.”

“Anne,” you sigh into her touch.  Similar to her brother, it’s been ages since you’ve seen her.  She’s still thin and delicate, but her bangs are long grown out. “What are you still doing here?  It’s so late.”

“Ominis and I wanted to catch you,” she claims. “The healers called us in to talk to Sebastian.”

“Right, I asked them to.” you say, smoothing your apron. “How was he today?”

Anne winces. “He’s…he’s still pretty confused.”

You give her a sympathetic smile, biting back the sarcastic words you had in mind. “It must be awful.”

Anne pulls away, digging her toe into the ground. “He keeps asking what happened between the two of you.  I’m not sure what to say.” she admits.

You bite your lower lip. “You can tell him the truth.  That we ended amicably.  That we were fine.”

“If you were fine, you wouldn’t have disappeared for five years.” a voice says behind you.

It only takes you a second to recognize the rich voice of Ominis Gaunt.  Whirling around, you throw your arms around the tall blonde.  It’s been ages since you’ve given him a hug let alone seen him, so he chuckles into your shoulder when you grasp him.

“I missed you,” you pat his cheek.

“We missed you,” Ominis hums. “I’m surprised St. Mungo’s would call me; I haven’t been Sebastian’s emergency contact for a while.”

You furrow your eyebrows as Anne takes Ominis’s arm. Why wouldn’t he be his emergency contact?  Ominis is his best friend, and having been together with Anne for so long, practically his brother.

That’s a question for another time, you decide.

“It’s late, you two should be getting home.  Visitor hours are over.”  you remind them.

“I’m not leaving before you promise to see me again,” Ominis says sternly. “Five years is far too long.”

You place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Of course. Ominis, I’m sorry.  I just thought that when things ended, the two of you were best friends…”

“That was my decision to make,” he says softly. “Not yours.  I decide whose side I’m on.”

Ominis’s words warm your heart, but they also leave cracks.  Ominis and Sebastian were a package deal when you met them, and you’ve spent far too much of your time with the boys driving them apart. 

After much coaxing, Ominis and Anne take their leave.  You’re finally able to start your rounds.  Rowle is starting to regain his memories and they’ve allowed his wife back into the ward.  Travers still has a nasty gash on his leg that’s festering, but he’s otherwise remembering things from last week.  Cattermole is fast asleep, so you avoid his room to let him get some more rest.

Your hand falters on the handle of room 213, taking a deep breath before you push in.  Just as you thought, Sebastian isn’t asleep.  He’s sitting upright in bed, arms crossed over his chest, frowning at you.

“You’re looking much better,” you offer, shutting the door behind you.

“You gave me a sleeping draught last night,” he accuses you. “That’s not fair.”

“You were getting hysterical, Sebastian.” you remind him, flipping through his chart.  Nothing particularly new, and no memories back.  He’s spent the entire day asking for you, the chart says, and fighting with orderlies.  It mentions Ominis and Anne arriving, and that the two gentlemen had sharp words for one another. Ominis was right—he isn’t Sebastian’s emergency contact anymore. There’s an unfamiliar name, a woman.

“Open your shirt, please.”

Sebastian waggles his eyebrows at you. “Are you sure we’re not together?”

You roll your eyes. “Your cheekiness, I didn’t miss it.” you mutter, hands on your hips. “I need you to take your shirt off so I can check your wounds, you idiot.”

Sebastian gives you a familiar grin as he unbuttons his pajama shirt; he’s flexing his muscles, you can tell.  A pinch to his pectoral has him yowling, and he stops.  You grin at him, and he rolls his eyes.

“Perhaps we did break up,” he grumbles.

Sebastian’s breath stutters as your fingers prod at his scars. They’re still ugly and raised, but the color is improving. 

“I’m not sure there’s much more I can do,” you frown. “I think they’ll stay.”

“That’s fine,” Sebastian breathes. “You did always say you preferred when I was roughed up.” 

You give him a strained look. “Sebastian–”

“Please, listen to me.” Sebastian urges. “Ominis…he told me what happened between us. And I really, truly can’t believe we would let it get to that.” Your name is a gentle whisper from his mouth, and he pushes his brunette hair out of his eyes. “I didn’t mean to neglect you.”

You swallow thickly, backing up. “We were so young, Sebastian.  Let’s leave the past in the past, please.”

“Ominis and I haven’t spoken in two years.” Sebastian interjects. “He just told me.  Annie says we had a fight, and you were part of it.”

You turn around, shutting your eyes. “I don’t want to hear this,” you admit weakly.

Sebastian is rustling in his sheets; he lets out a low hiss as he adjusts his still healing torso. “If the version of me, the one that got cursed, isn’t talking to you, Anne, or Ominis…I don’t want to go back to that.  I don’t want to be that version of me.” Sebastian pleads. “If that’s the case, I don’t want to remember.”

“You have friends, Sebastian.” You remind him, turning to face him again. “You have friends, your job…” you trail off, picking up his chart again.  You pinpoint the section with his emergency contact; a woman who is likely sitting at home, worried sick over him. “You have a girlfriend, probably.  One who is desperate to see you.” There’s a lump in your throat as you try to imagine her, but your mind comes up blank.

“I don’t care,” Sebastian breathes. “She’s a stranger.”

“I’m the stranger,” you remind him. “Sebastian…I’m engaged. I’m getting married next spring.” 

That’s a lie–you and your fiance haven’t even discussed a timeline, but it seems more official to say it with a season.

The hope on Sebastian’s face crumbles, eyes wide as he stares at you.

“You’re engaged,” he croaks.

“Engaged.” The more you say it, the more it’s real. “He’s lovely.  You would like him.” Now that's an even bigger lie–Sebastian would’ve called him a prat if he met him. You appreciate your fiance’s softness and meekness, especially after having been with a firecracker hothead for most of your teens.

Sebastian is crumpled in bed, twisting onto his side. “I’d like to go to bed now,” he mumbles.  It was textbook Sebastian–whenever something didn’t go his way, he’d turn away from you in bed like a petulant child.  It’s almost a relief to see that he does the same thing at twenty three years old.

“If you ring the bell, someone will come to aid you.” You wave your wand, dimming the lights. “You can ask for someone else, if you’d like.”  

Sebastian doesn’t say anything as you shut the door, and when he does ring the bell for assistance, he requests anyone but you. It’s stupid to be upset over, it’s what you wanted–for him to stop pestering you.  

But you have a nice long cry in the potions ingredient cupboard anyways.  

The rest of your shift goes by uneventfully.  Rowle has regained his memories and will be discharged in the morning.  Cattermole finally woke up from his deep sleep and he’s on the mend, moved out of the intensive care ward. Travers has also been discharged, prescribed a salve to make sure the cut on his leg stays clean.  It leaves Roberts, Jorkins, and Sallow as your only three patients left from the case, and perhaps now your boss will let you take a night off.

Night Four

“I wanted to apologize for last night,” Sebastian says sheepishly.

“Whatever for?” You mumble, pressing a strip of gauze to his chest wound.  You’re trying a new salve recipe you’ve been working on, just to see if it’ll help break down the scar tissue.  His bruises are starting to go yellow, and if he works back up on his memory, Sebastian can be discharged from your ward.

“For being rude.” Sebastian sighs. “I’m…it’s starting to come back to me a bit now.”

You look up at him, eyebrows raised. “Is it?”

“We fought that night.” Sebastian swallows thickly. “You and me.  I can’t exactly remember what we fought about, but you threw a book at me.”

“And I hit your eyebrow.” You remind him.

“Lucky shot,” Sebastian rolls his eyes, and you have to suppress a laugh. He winces as you press the salve in; his body is still sensitive.

“I’m sorry for that.  I never got to apologize to you,” you admit, rubbing the mixture in. “But I was embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed about what?” Sebastian asks softly.

“For putting up with all of it,” you pat another piece of gauze over the salve.  Sebastian looks like a mess and he’ll have to sleep sitting up, but you’re hoping to salvage his handsome chest. There are a bevy of flower vases strewn across the room, and plenty of Sebastian’s favorite sweets piled on his bedside table.

“I see you had quite a few visitors today.” 

Sebastian nods, trying not to move too much. “Anne and Ominis again; he’s warming back up to me, I know it.” he brags. “Clopton and Larson too. I can’t believe I was paired up with two Ravenclaws as partners. That’s probably how I got all bungled up in the first place.”

“Everett said you were quite the hero,” you back away, admiring your work (and his muscles, he’s grown quite a bit since you last saw him).  “And they stayed the entire night when you first came into the ward, so I know they’re loyal to you.”

There is a silence between you two for a moment, until Sebastian breaks the tension.

“She visited earlier.” Sebastian echoed. “Rebecca.”

You turn away at the name; at least it’s not the girl you remember from your last argument.  “Rebecca is a lovely name,” you offer.  It’s all you can give him without treading into dangerous waters.  You’re engaged after all, and stuck patting balm into the chest of your former lover.

“She was distraught.” Sebastian hummed. “Hates the scars.”

You turn around, rolling your eyes. “She’s dating an auror, she should get used to it.” you scowl. 

“That’s what I said,” Sebastian laughs, trying not to move the salve covered strips. “But she wasn’t having it.  She was worried I would never look the same, so I broke up with her.”

You blink at him.  He seems completely unbothered.

“Sebastian!” You exclaim. “You shouldn’t break up with her over that alone.”

Sebastian shrugs. “Y’know, the boys filled in a few of the blanks for me.  Apparently, not very many people actually liked Rebecca and I together, so I guess it was impending anyways.”

You put your hands on your hips. “I cannot believe you broke up with your girlfriend because Everett Clopton and Andrew Larson told you to.” you shake your head. “She was your emergency contact, Sebastian.  You’ve probably been dating a while.”

“According to Clopton, I was planning on breaking up with her soon anyways.”

“Idiots, the lot of you.” You tut, washing your hands in the basin.

“We’d only been dating three months.” Sebastian interjects. “I put her as my emergency contact because I had no one else.  Ominis and Anne…well, they weren’t talking to me apparently.”

You don’t say anything, letting the water run over your hands.

“I guess I’ve been a real arse the last few years,” Sebastian echoes. “Everett said I hadn’t been quite myself since we…well, you get the gist.”

“Everyone is an arse when they’re eighteen,” you remind him. 

Sebastian snorts. “I’m sure you weren’t.”

“I think I might’ve been.” You chuckle under your breath. “Poppy always said I had a one track mind.  Only ever thought about myself, my career.”

“Well, it’s done a lot for you.” Sebastian offers. “Youngest lead healer in St. Mungo’s history.”

You roll your eyes. “The others think I’m a show off.”

“You’re gifted,” he shrugs, and a slice of gauze slips from his chest. “That’s all.”

“Lay back darling,” you advise him, stuffing a pillow behind his back to keep him comfortable. 

Sebastian does as you say, his hands balled up in fists at his side. “So, your fiance,” He trails off. “What’s he like?”

You purse your lips, pulling his sheets over his waist. “He’s nice.”

“Nice.  That’s it?” Sebastian snorts. “Surely he has some better attributes, you said yes to marrying him.”

“He’s calm, quiet.” you say, turning your back to put away the excess gauze. “He’s a junior secretary for the Minister of Magic.” turning back to Sebastian, you already know he has a smug smile on his face. “Don’t you dare say what I think you’re going to say,” you warn, wagging a finger.

“What?” Sebastian scoffs. “I would never say anything about an esteemed junior secretary,” he says dramatically. “Besides, you’re the one who thought it…”

“I didn’t think anything!” You laugh. “I just knew exactly what you were thinking.”

“And what is that?” Sebastian asks coyly.

“You were going to call him a pencil pusher,” you accuse.

Sebastian fakes a gasp, holding a hand to his chest. “My stars, I would never say such a thing.” 

“Stop it,” you laugh again, slapping his hand. “You’re ruining my hard work. I’ll have to do it again.”

“No,” Sebastian groans. “It’s cold.  I just want to put a jumper on, I don’t care about the scars.” he pouts.

“I need you to get better,” you hold your hands on your hips. “The auror office will have my head if I keep you here any longer when your colleagues are back home.”

Sebastian fumbles with the edge of the blanket. “And what would consider me healed?” 

“Well, I’d say besides the appearance, your physical wounds are fully healed.” You shrug. “But we can’t discharge you until your memories are back–or at least substantially returned.”

Sebastian is quiet, and he stays quiet until you finish putting away all your supplies.  You’re about to leave him, implore him to get some rest, when he clears his throat.

“Pet,” he says cautiously (he hasn’t used your old nickname since the second night of his stay).  

“Yes, Sebastian?” You ask, slipping your hands into the pocket of your apron.  When you look at Sebastian from the doorway, he doesn’t look like a twenty three year old man.  He looks like the Sebastian you used to know–the hotheaded eighteen year old who only ever got shy around you.

“Would you…could we be friends after this?” He asked lowly. “I know you said we haven’t seen each other in five years, and I know there’s some blame there on my end. But we’ve been through so much together, and you’ve saved my life.” he rambles. 

You once told yourself that if Sebastian Sallow ever came crawling back, you’d slam the door shut in his face.  The first year of your separation had been excruciating; the second had been dreadful.  Once you’d gotten on to your third year without him in your life, the pain had become bearable.  And once you’d gotten on to four years without him, you realized you didn’t think of him anymore.  In fact, you hadn’t thought of him at all until you saw him standing a few paces away from your tea table.

“Of course, darling.” You assure him. “Only if you promise me that you’ll actually sleep.”

Sebastian’s face lights up in a way you distinctly remember–the first time you’d seen it was when you arrived in Feldcroft to meet Anne when you were both fifteen.  He adjusts himself to the pillows as you wave your wand to dim the lights. 

You shut the door behind you, letting out a sigh when you’re out of sight.  You feel guilty calling Sebastian darling again–you’ve never even blessed your own fiance with his own nickname.  And despite your refusal of the situation, you can’t help the shiver you feel at the base of your spine when you hear Sebastian calling you pet again.

Perhaps being friends is not a good idea.

Night Five

Sebastian is asleep when your shift starts, and you nearly skip over his room.  But against your better judgment, you push into the door, knocking lightly.

The brunette man is slumped over, snoring lightly as if he were waiting for you.  At the sound of the door, he jolts, rubbing his eyes. 

“Why can’t you be on the day shift?” he complains sleepily. 

You chuckle. “I can leave you, let you get some rest.”

“No,” Sebastian clears his throat. “I’d like you to stay.” He shrugs off his shirt, proudly displaying his scars. “They still look like hell, but at least they aren’t purple anymore.”

You stride over, running your hands over them.  Your ancient magic was able to overpower the bleeding curse, but Sebastian will forever have a dip in his chest and bubbled over scars.  They’re at least turning pink, a much better place than they were a few days ago.

“They look great,” you pat his shoulder. “And once we get your memories back in order, we can get you home.”

Sebastian gives you a strange look. “Ominis came again during the day…filling in the blanks again.”

“And?” You ask softly, sitting in the chair next to him.

“Why did we break up?” Sebastian asks firmly. “Can you tell me? And don’t give me the whole spiel about us growing apart.  I want the details.”

You swallow thickly, looking down at your hands. “We were eighteen, Sebastian. I was careless, you were lonely, we were both focused on our careers and not on each other.” Truthfully, you had spent years thinking of the many ways you’d address this conversation, how you’d confront him if you ever saw him again. Now five years later and after having almost witnessed Sebastian’s death, the downfall of your first love is easily compounded into one simple sentence.

“You started working the night shift,” Sebastian says.

“I started working the night shift,” you echo. “I wanted to rise up quickly in the ranks, so I volunteered. I was working so many hours, and you were gone during the day at your job, so we barely saw each other.”

“I asked you to take time off.” Sebastian adds.

“And I said no.” you admit. “I told you that you were being insecure.  That my job was more important, because I was saving lives.” It’s one of the few shames you’ve compartmentalized over the past few years–that you’d ever downplayed the importance of his career compared to yours.

“I went out that night.” Sebastian whispers, looking at his hands. “And I didn’t come home until the morning.”

“It was my only night off of the week, and you came home at four in the morning, stinking of firewhiskey and perfume.” Your eyes shut, replaying the awful scene in your head.

“Did I?” he croaked. “Did I cheat on you, really?”

“No,” You shake your head, and he lets out a relieved sigh. “You said you could have.  You said you wanted to.” You add, rubbing the temples of your forehead. “That you were tired of living in half of a relationship, and that you’d wanted to kiss that girl.”

“You threw the book at me,” Sebastian says weakly. “And I smashed your mug.”

“I told you to go to her if you really wanted.” You admit. “And you left.”

“I stayed at Ominis’s that night.” he whispered. “I didn’t go to her.”

“I didn’t know that.  So I packed my things and left.” 

The silence hangs between the two of you, and all of the feelings you had at eighteen come flooding back.  After the fight, you apparated to Natty’s place, while Anne and Poppy had cleaned out your bits in the apartment. What was meant to be a one night stay turned into a week, and then more. After a month without word from Sebastian, you committed to the night shift, forsaking your friendships and social life for work.  Days turned into weeks, weeks to months, and before you knew it, you were promoted.  Sebastian Sallow was a blip in your timeline, a faded memory of teenage love.  He’d been just a memory until you saw him in Diagon Alley.  Your heart hadn’t felt anything but anger towards him until you saw his shiny black dress shoes.

“Did we throw it all away?” Sebastian asks sorrowfully.

“We became the people we needed to be.” You remind him. “Look at you, an auror.  A damn good one.  The kind that jumps in front of their partner to save them from a curse.” you assure him.

“And you’re a healer,” Sebastian inhales. “A bloody amazing one, that saved my life and five others.  I’m so proud of you.” Sebastian’s lower lip wobbles, and you know your heart is in danger.

“You seem to remember quite a bit,” You point out. “More than you let on.”

“I was talking to Clopton about you.  We thought the ambush was over, we were trying to get to a floo point so we could get Larson’s leg checked out.” Sebastian says. “I told him how beautiful you looked, and that you looked happy.” his voice cracks. 

“Sebastian.” It’s not a warning, just a statement.  A week ago you would’ve never said his name aloud, let alone thought of it.  But it feels right rolling off your tongue.

“Everett said something about you being engaged.  It’s…it’s fuzzy from there on, but I remember the fight.  And I jumped in front of him, but not just to save him.” Sebastian says, his fingers drumming on his stomach.

“Why?” You almost don’t want to hear the rest. It might upend your life entirely.

“I jumped in front of him because I knew I’d be okay.  That you would probably be at St. Mungo’s when I got there.” Sebastian said weakly.  “And I’d get a chance to see you again.”

“Sebastian, we’re different people now.” You remind him. 

“We’re better now.” Sebastian says, giving you pleading eyes. “I was an idiot when I was eighteen; I thought I was being a man, but I wasn’t.  And I’m not going to pretend that I’ve been happy the past five years–there hasn’t been another woman who’s made me feel the way you do.” he confesses.

“It’s been too long,” you try to say, but you know it's no use trying to argue with him.  From your first fight in the Undercroft at fifteen to the fight that broke you two up, Sebastian has never backed down.

Before you even realize it, Sebastian has reached his hand out, taking yours. He’s rubbing your left ring finger–the one missing your large, ostentatious engagement ring.

“Don’t marry him,” Sebastian croaks. “Please, don’t marry him.”

“Why?” you ask.

“Because I understand you now.” Sebastian says. “I understand you in a way I didn’t when I was younger.  And that’s good–it’s good for us now.  It wasn’t the right time then, but we could try again now.” he pleads.

“Four days ago when you saw me in Diagon Alley, you could barely look at me.” You remind him. “I should have you committed to the memory ward at this point.”

“Four days ago when I saw you, I was sick to my stomach with how happy you looked.” Sebastian admits. “I saw you from a distance, smiling at Larson and Poppy.  I couldn’t look you in the eye after seeing you smile.”

You want to tell Sebastian that your fiance is a good man.  That he loves you, cherishes you, and doesn’t fight with you.  But you can’t help being nostalgic as you hold the hand of your first love, who is currently begging you to end your relationship to risk it all again with him. Whatever strength you’ve mustered together in the last five years is about to break as his big brown eyes implore you to stay.

“Your memory seems back to normal,” you change the subject, standing up quickly.  You tug your hand out from his, smoothing your clammy palms against your apron. “I’ll put you down for discharge in the morning.”

“Don’t,” Sebastian warns. “Don’t run away.”

“You ran away.” You remind him.

“And I regret it, every day.” Sebastian says mournfully. “You were my first love.  You were going to be my only love, and I fucked it up.”

“We both made mistakes, Sebastian.” You say, staring down at your feet. “You need to get some rest.  I’ll leave you be.”

He’s arguing as you step through the door, wringing your hands together.  The thoughts running through your head aren’t right–no, they’re crazy.  Except your feet keep walking towards the ward matron’s desk, gripping the stone top.

“Are you alright, dear?” she asks, frowning.

“I need to go home,” you confess, scribbling what little notes you have onto Sebastian’s chart. “There’s something I have to do.”

Thirty minutes later (your on call replacement is displeased to have been woken up late at night) you’re back in your flat.  Your mind is buzzing as you pace in the bedroom, thinking about the idea gnawing at your brain.

It would be insane.

You haven’t talked in five years.

He’s emotional after having been saved from the brink of death.

He broke up with his girlfriend on the spot, because she wasn’t you.

Sebastian is most well known for his unwavering support and adoration.  At least he was when you were younger.  Sebastian had always been encouraging, cheering you on through crossed wands, battles in the highlands, and even when you got your first job offer from St. Mungo’s. He’d been crazy about you–obsessed with you, even.  The two of you had been the couple of your year when you graduated.  

Sebastian had only ever faltered once, and it ended your relationship.

Don’t marry him.  

The words replay in your mind.  It makes you realize your stomach has flipped more in the last four nights than it has in years.  That your even tempered fiance, a kind but boring man, has not once made you feel what you’ve felt in the past week being back in Sebastian’s presence.

It is insane, you think. But you’d rather take feeling than nothing at all.

Digging through your dresser, you pull out the box holding your engagement ring.  

Night Six

It has been a long, long day.

What time you would have spent sleeping is spent assuring your now ex-fiance that nothing untoward has happened.  That you appreciate his kindness and companionship over the past year, but that you cannot lie to yourself. 

You cannot marry him because you don’t love him as you should.

You prepare for the night shift with a spring in your step, because when you get there, you’re heading straight to Sebastian’s room.  You’re going to tell him what you’ve done, and hope that he’s still feeling just as crazy as you. You pull your hair into its usual bun, wishing you could wear something a little nicer to what will be your reunion.  Sebastian used to love when you wore green; perhaps you’ll buy a green dress the next day you’re off.

When you get to the ward, it’s quieter than usual.  Holding your wand between your teeth again, affixing the white apron, your heart beats out of your chest as you approach room 213.  

This is it.  This is the start of the rest of your life.

You push through the doors of 213, but your breath stutters when you see the empty bed.  It’s stripped of any linens, and all of the flowers and candy boxes Sebastian’s colleagues sent are gone.

“Where is the patient in 213?” you whip around, grabbing the closest orderly.

They give you a curious look. “Discharged this morning–you put it in their paperwork.”

You swallow, and it feels like shards of broken glass are tumbling down your throat. “I…I did.”

“Isn’t today your day off, too?” They tilt their head at you. “Honestly, it feels like your head hasn’t been screwed on at all this week. Might want to take some focus potions, ma’am.”

“Uh, right.” You admit, turning red.  You were so excited at the prospect of seeing Sebastian again, you completely forgot that Fridays were your nights off from the ward. You were rather busy after all, imploding your life. “”Does it say who picked him up?”

They shrug, flipping through the charts again. “He was taken to his home in Diagon Alley by his sister and brother-in-law.”

You curse under your breath as you try to plot a plan.  There’s no way Ominis still lives in the small flat he had when you last saw him, and you have no idea where Sebastian lives.  The ward doesn’t have an address either, so you’re shit out of luck.

Unless…unless you were to find one of his loyal partners.

Apparition is frowned upon inside of St. Mungo’s, but you’ll take a scolding from the matron ward on Saturday. You immediately apparate to the Leaky Cauldron, where most of the ministry’s aurors spend their evenings.  You know this because you’ve been avoiding the biggest pub in Diagon Alley for five years, hoping not to run into your ex.

The crowd stares at you in your St. Mungo’s uniform; you push through throngs of ministry employees, all wearing fine suits and dresses from their day jobs.  Your eyes scan the room, heart losing hope by the second, until you spot Everett and Andrew sitting with a gaggle of your classmates from Hogwarts, Natsai Onai included.  Andrew elbows Everett at the sight of you, and Clopton beams as if he’s won a bet.

“Hi,” you say breathlessly, approaching the group. 

“Figured you might turn up.” Larson teased. “Gaunt, Clopton, and I had a bet on how long it would take.”

“What’s going on?” Natty asks, clearly confused. She says your name, tilting her head. 

“I need his address,” You gasp. “He wasn’t at the ward when I got there–”

“Anne and Ominis picked him up this morning.” Everett says, pulling out his wand and a paper napkin.  He aimed his wand at the scrap, delicately burning an address into the paper. “He doesn’t live far from here. Perhaps you’ll keep him from spending too much time at the pub now.”

“Who doesn’t live far?” Natty asks again, elbowing Andrew.

“Sallow, of course.” Larson winks. “You two had enough time to talk it through, yeah?”

“What the bloody hell–they haven’t spoken in five years,” Natty claims with wide eyes. She gives you a look, and you can’t do anything but shrug.

“Near death experiences will change you,” Everett says smugly, taking a sip of his tankard. “Well go on then, what are you still doing here?”

You mouth an apology to Natty; you’ll have to explain it to her someday soon.  For now, you’re pushing through the crowd, trying to get out the door.  Looking down at the napkin, Everett Clopton is right; Sebastian lives maybe a stone's throw away from the pub.  Your feet are pounding on the cobblestone of Diagon Alley, looking like a blue wisp to any passersby.  

Before you know it, you’re turning onto his street, with only the lamps in front of each door illuminating the numbers.  You stop, gasping for air, trying to find the right one.  Of course he’s at the end of the row, a dark green door with a gold knocker.  It’s late now, the sky pitch black, as you start pounding.

It takes only thirty seconds for the door to swing open; Anne is standing behind it, looking shocked.

“You’re here,” she breathes.

“I told you she would,” you hear Ominis yell from the inside. “Clopton owes me ten galleons.”

“Can I come in?” you ask.

Anne bites back a smile. “Of course you can.”

You walk into Sebastian’s home; despite having never seen it, it positively reeks of him. There are touches of him all over the house–from the books stacked in the hallways, to the shoes messily kicked in the parlor room.  He has trinkets from his travels on the mantle, and you can see he still leaves his teacups all over the house (something you once fought over–it seems endearing now).  

Ominis is in the sitting room, lounging on a chaise. “Took you long enough.” he says teasingly. “I was rather surprised you abandoned him last night.  He was absolutely bereft when we picked him up in the morning.”

“I didn’t mean to,” you admit sheepishly, digging your toe into the carpet. “I…I just had something I had to do first.”

“A break up and a make up in one day, you’re a busy woman as always.”

“Shut up.”

Ominis gives you a toothy grin; something he saves only for those he loves. “I missed you.” he stood, pulling you into a tight hug. “I can only hope Sebastian doesn’t bungle it all up and we lose you all over again.”

You press your nose into Ominis’s shoulder; it seems silly you ever thought you could live without this group of people in your life. 

“I thought you were mad at him,” you say, pulling back to look up at the blond.

“I was mad that he was being stubborn,” Ominis says softly. “That he wasn’t being himself, drinking every day and dating girls who weren’t right for him.  I told him he had to pluck up the courage to speak to you again, or get over it and make peace with his life.  He’s been rather stuck, as you can imagine.”

You have been too, you think.

“Is he upstairs?” You ask, turning to the slim staircase. Anne is standing next to the railing, giving a signature Sallow smirk.

“He might be asleep,” Ominis warned. “But he is. First room to the left.”

You squeeze his hand in thanks before walking up the stairs.  The floor creaks underneath you as you push in the door; Sebastian is laying in his bed, sleeping fitfully. You nearly knock a stack of books over as you kneel next to his bed; you also recognize the book on his side table, the spine dented from when you threw it at his face five years ago. It reminds you of the shattered mug you keep on your desk.  Perhaps you two have been subconsciously keeping pieces of each other around.

Sebastian stirs as you brush his brunette hair out of his face.  He opens one eye, then the other, blinking furiously as he tries to sit up.

“You’re here,” he groans, a hand flying to his torso. “Is this a good visit, or just a hospital house call? Because my scars are killing me now that I’m home.”

You give a watery chuckle. “It can be both, if you like.”  You pull the blanket aside, examining his puckered skin.  The scars will stay for good, but that’s fine.  You did always like it when Sebastian was roughed up anyways.

“You’re here.” Sebastian repeats, only this time it's softer.

“I had to go to the Leaky Cauldron to get your address from Clopton.” you admit, blue waves emitting from your fingertips as you try to take away some of the physical pain. “But yes, I’m here.”

“By the sound of our last conversation, I thought you were done.  That we were just going to have to live with our mistakes.” Sebastian breathes.

“I wanted to say more, but there was something I had to do first.” you sit on the bed; Sebastian adjusts to give you more room, taking your hands in his. “I had to give back the engagement ring.”

“You did?” Sebastian asks hopefully.

“Seeing you…being around you for the first time in five years…” You’re trying to compound all of your feelings in a simple sentence, but it doesn’t feel like enough. “It made me realize I just didn’t love him.” You confess. “I shouldn’t feel the way I’ve felt seeing you.”

“Pet,” he murmurs, putting a hand to your cheek. “You’ve saved my life. I can’t ask anything more from you.”

“Then can I?” You ask, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes as you place your hand over his. Sebastian’s hand is warm and familiar, fitting perfectly against you.

“Ask me anything,” Sebastian echoes.

“Let’s try again.” you whisper.  

Sebastian scoots over, making space on the bed for you.  You don’t care if anyone else has slept in it over the five years you’ve been apart; something about the way Sebastian melts against your touch tells you he’s only ever belonged to you in the first place. 

“Let’s try again.” Sebastian whispers in your ear, pressing a kiss to your lips.  It feels positively electric, like it’s awoken something that’s been dormant inside you for five long, sleepy years.  You take good care not to press too much of your weight onto a still recovering patient, but Sebastian does everything in his power to draw you closer.  His hands start pulling pins out of your hair, the tight bun coming unraveled as he weaves his fingers through your tresses.

“You’re still healing,” you remind him as he starts working on the buttons of your dress. “And your sister is downstairs.”

“I don’t care,” Sebastian murmurs into your skin, tugging your collar down to press a kiss at the base of your neck. “We’ve waited long enough, haven’t we?”

You have, you think.  So you let Sebastian ravish you with kisses, blushing when you hear Ominis loudly call up the stairs that he and Anne are leaving.  You only leave the bed to unlace your dress, Sebastian eagerly watching as you strip the fabric from your body.  He groans in a good way when you press kisses to his chest, fingers dancing across the scars on his chest.  Not all scars would disappear, and there would always be reminders of the past.  But it was good to acknowledge them, to know that they were there, and that they were healed.  

The two of you stay awake the entire night reacquainting yourselves with each other’s body; the sun is streaming through Sebastian’s curtains when you realize you’ve been awake since Thursday night, running off adrenaline. Your eyes begin to droop as Sebastian presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“Go to sleep, pet.” he whispers. “I’m right here.”

You’ll have to call in again, you think. You need an entire day of sleep after this week.  And the next time you get to the ward, you’ll turn in your official notice, asking to move to the day shift.

[wonwoosthetic]

series masterlist

word count – 13.8k

a/n – you guys are really loving this omg😭😭😭 I’m so grateful, thank you thank you thank you🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 just a little side note: I haven’t been able to watch anything past EP2-4. yet, I’m SO BEHIND, I KNOW😭 but I didn’t want to not upload since I promised it to you guys! So pls just know, that EP2-5. will be added at a later point probably next week ˙ᵕ˙

Go Together NANA TOUR EP2 🌷Minnie

parts written in italics were out of camera shot ˙ᵕ˙

EP2-1. Good Morning

Gathered around the table, the idols passed each T-shirt to the designated member until everyone was in possession of their personalised top for the show. Minnie had gotten her own as well, holding it up to look at her name in big black letters printed across it. Before her eyes even found the little icon that was different for each singer, Joshua had looked over her right shoulder and caught a glimpse first.

"Aww!" He pointed at the shirt, making her look down, finding a small drawn mouse holding onto a much bigger flower, what appeared to be a tulip.

"Oh my God, that's so cute," she smiled at the clothing item, before turning her head to the producers, "Thank you!" Beaming at them with a bright smile.

After they all got to admire their T-shirts and got a hold of a charger for their own, the group split up again to their designated rooms. Next on the list was getting bedtime ready. After not having lived together as a group all together, the idols had almost forgotten about the struggle of sharing a bathroom. The apartment they were staying at had two, thankfully, but still... 13 people and only two showers... it was about to get stressful.

Thankfully, sleeping in a room right next to one of the bathrooms, Minnie got the privilege of being one of the first members to wash up. She had washed her hair and went through some steps of her skincare routine with the products in the pouch she had taken with her from the plane. While the rest of the members were looking for time slots to jump into the shower, she was on her bed, now in the shorts and shirt provided by the producers as she put on a clean pair of socks, not wanting to walk around in shoes anymore or barefooted.

She had her hair wrapped up in a towel, trying to dry it as much as possible as she had yet to find a hairdryer. After a few minutes of looking around the flat, she had given up the search and retreated back to her room, using the towel to squeeze out the last drops of moisture that were left in her long hair. That's when Mingyu suddenly walked in, making her turn around to look at him.

"What are you doing?" Minnie asked him.

The rapper passed her, and crouched down right behind her, "Your room is the only one with a socket close to a mirror." As he stood back up, the girl's eyes dropped to the device his hands were clinging on. So that's where the hairdryer had suddenly gone. Mingyu turned it on and started drying his hair with the hot air, brushing through it with his fingers.

Minnie got up from the bed and walked over to him. With her hand on his upper arm, she looked up to meet his gaze through the mirror.

"Can you leave the hairdryer here after you're done?" 

He must've not understood her probably, the blasting air being way too loud, as he turned to the side, subconsciously crouching down slightly as he had done so many other times before.

"Huh?" He raised his eyebrows in wonder.

"Leave the hairdryer here when you're done. I need it too," Minnie raised her voice to speak clearer before moving away to walk out of the room.

A sudden soft grab of her arm made her stumble back slightly. Looking back, she glimpsed up at her fellow '97 Liner, who motioned for her to turn around. With a gentle push on her back, she turned, now facing the door. Only a second later, Mingyu had moved the hairdryer from blow-drying his own hair to hers, using his fingers as a brush to detangle some of her strands. Carefully, he moved some of her hair to the side, splitting it up into sections, to make sure he was drying it correctly. Minnie moved her head along, leaning it to one side, so the hair would stay in the position Mingyu had put it in.

Once she noticed, it was getting harder for his fingers to glide through her strands, she turned around to stop his movements. Pointing over to her bedside table, he found the brush the girl was trying to tell him about. He handed her the blowdryer for a second as he walked over to get the brush, only to hold it in his own hands a few seconds later, getting back to help her with her hair.

The two members moved in complete silence the entire time. No talking, only grinning at each other through the mirror at most or Mingyu mouthing a 'sorry' whenever he'd get stuck on a knot in her dark mane. The only time either one of them had opened their mouth to speak was when Wonwoo appeared in the doorway, smiling over at the duo before knocking on the bathroom door. He asked who was inside, but had only gotten an incoherent answer back, so Minnie had to help him.

"Jeonghannie-hyung!" She called out to the '96 Liner, who turned to glance at her with awaiting eyes, asking her what she had said.

"Jeonghannie-hyung is in the bathroom," she repeated louder, getting a nod back in return.

-

After most of the members had each finished their shower, they moved on to brushing their teeth, which turned out to be another hurdle as there was only one tube of toothpaste. They had somehow managed to get a little bit for each one of them, brushing their teeth while walking around the apartment or sitting in their rooms.

Finished with everything, and even almost completely dry hair, Minnie had found herself in the kitchen, sitting between Wonwoo and Jeonghan, while Hoshi had taken a seat on the opposite side of the table, his toothbrush still dangling in his mouth. In the middle of their conversation, Dokyeom walked out of his room, joining the small group of four. He stopped by the table to look at his fellow members.

"It would be too greedy to ask for hair essence, right?" He asked everyone.

Right away, a nod and a hum came from the rapper, followed by an agreeing, "Yeah," from the Vice-Leader.

Minnie chuckled softly, "What? No, it's not. I asked for some too," turning towards the '96 Liner to her right before glancing over at Dokyeom again. "I put it in the little pouch on my bed. You can use it."

"Really?"

The girl nodded, "Of course."

[sharing is caring with SEVENTEEN]

As soon as the main vocalist left the room, Hoshi spoke up, "Wishing for too much is not what a vacation is." His voice still muffled by the toothpaste foaming at his lips. "You need to give up on things you can."

The girl leaned back with a deep breath in, stretching her shoulders. "Some of us just want to still look presentable. Even if we're on vacation."

"You shouldn't worry about that," the performance leader commented back.

"If I didn't use any hair essence, I'd look like a lion," the girl stated, referring to the long mane on her head, that would quickly turn into puffy dried weed if not being taken care of properly.

With scrunched eyebrows, Hoshi took the toothbrush out of his mouth, looking at her in confusion. "What's wrong with looking like a lion?" To which Minnie could only shake her head with a chuckle, the other two members following her, laughing along at the sound of pure offence coming from the '96 Liner.

-

Most of the group was already snuggled up in their individual beds. Only a few were still walking around, cleaning up after themselves or laying out their clothes and wet towels to dry somewhere in the apartment. Wonwoo and Dino had found comfort in sitting in the kitchen, with the only source of light coming from the hallway and music from the maknae's phone.

Before she would let herself get a good night's sleep, Minnie decided to keep up her habit of having either a glass or bottle of water next to her bed. She made her way into the kitchen, not expecting anyone in there anymore as it was dark, explaining her wide eyes when she entered and found the duo by the table.

"Oh," her hand came up to her chest in surprise, "What are you guys still doing?"

"Drinking," Dino answered her, nudging his head to the beer bottles on the table. 

Followed by Wonwoo, who just got done with his next bite of the Ramen he had made, "And eating."

With a nod, the girl chuckled, walking over to the sink without another word. The room had fallen quiet as the rapper was focused on his food and the maknae had turned his full attention to the '97 Liner moving around the kitchen, looking for a glass or anything remotely close to a cup.

The sound of Wonwoo slurping his noodles got a chuckle from the youngest in the room.

"Noona, did you know Wonwoo-hyung doesn't chew his Ramen?" He asked her.

From her place by the counter, up on her tippy toes, she turned around, "Yeah," she smiled, "He inhales them." Getting a laugh from the maknae in return.

"Exactly! That's what I said."

"Why are you two making fun of me?" The oldest of the three joined the conversation, glancing over at the girl to see her struggle of not being able to see to the far back of the overhead cabinet. He got up from his chair in an instant.

"We're not making fun of you," Dino argued.

Wonwoo got next to Minnie, easily reaching to the back of the cabinet, where a few glasses were, reaching for one before handing it over to her.

"But I told you it's bad for you," she smiled up at him, taking the cup from his grip. "Thank you."

Without another word, the '96 Liner sat back down and his focus was back on the food in front of him.

Minnie turned on the Fausset before she let her backside rest against the counter, taking a sip of the glass she had just filled up.

Dino's eyes were locked on her form. "You're drinking straight from the sink?"

The female member nodded, "You can do that here. The water is clean." Making the maknae nod, clearly impressed by the info he had gotten.

"Do you want to drink with us?" He asked her, sitting up a slight bit straighter, ready to get another beer out of the fridge. But Minnie shook her head,

"No, thank you. I'm tired, I'm gonna go to sleep."

"Ah, ok." Defeated, with his arms crossed, the youngest sank back into his seat.

Before she made her way back to the room she shared with Jun and Dino, Minnie took a few steps forward until she was right behind Wonwoo's seat, placing a hand on his shoulder, to make him look up. 

"Good night," she whispered. As soon as their gazes met, she leaned down. The rapper straightened his back to meet her halfway where their lips touched for a soft kiss. She could feel the palm of his hand resting on her left hip.

Dino's hand immediately came up to cover his eyes, even turning his head slightly away. Once they separated and their eyes fell on the maknae, the two chuckled in unison. The teasing would never find an end. Even in a group like Seventeen, where open displays of affection in any way, romantic or platonic, weren't a rarity.

Minnie shook her head, smiling at the maknae, while Wonwoo went back to eating the last bites of his cup noodles. Checking for clear waters, the '99 Liner dropped his hand, smiling at the couple before the girl turned her back to them to leave the room.

-

Early in the morning, every member was still deep in their slumber. Well, everyone, but two - Minghao and Vernon. The roommates had gotten up earlier than the rest, with a specific plan in mind. A plan that required money from the 'manager'.

Thanks to the girl's light sleep, she was woken up by the sound of footsteps around the room. Opening one eye at first, the sun that had just started rising, hit her view, making her squint, wanting to close them immediately again. But another footstep made her whip her head around. Her eyes landed on the intruder.

"Hao?" Her voice was still raspy and laced with sleep. To get a clearer view, she rubbed her eyes, trying to adjust them to the brightness of the room.

Minghao raised a finger to his lips, begging her to stay quiet to let the other members rest.

"What are you doing?" Minnie whispered.

"Vernonnie and I want to go out for breakfast, but we need money," he explained, tapping the shoulder of the maknae as he whispered out his name to wake him up. Right after he had given his 'okay' to take the money they'd need, Dino closed his eyes again to fall back asleep.

Minnie stayed sat up on the mattress, her hand running through her hair as her eyes were focused on the sunrise outside of their window.

"Minnie-ya," Minghao's voice drifted her attention back to him, "Do you want to come too?"

For a quick second, the girl stayed quiet, trying to gather her thoughts before nodding her head.

"Sure."

Hao copied her action, his light footsteps carrying him to the other side of the room where he had seen her personalised shirt hung up on the handle of the closet. Minnie had decided to only sleep in the Calvin Klein sports bra the producers had provided her with. That way, she could feel comfortable wearing the T-shirt around the city that day.

He pulled it off the hanger, "Here," he threw it over to her on the bed.

"Thank you," she whispered back to him before he disappeared through the doorway again.

-

Out in the warm morning air, the three members started looking for a breakfast place in the area. While the temperature was slowly rising, getting up to the normal summer heat Rome was faced with each year, there was still a fresh breeze blowing past the old buildings. Minnie pulled the black zip-up hoodie she had thrown over her shirt closer around her body. The sleeves were long enough to cover her entire hands as well.

Minghao found a restaurant around seven minutes away from their current location that was already open, even at the early morning hour they had decided to get up. The close distance let the trio walk through the ancient streets of the city, taking in the old-stone structures that were so iconic for Italian architecture. 

Each building they passed was more fascinating than the one before. From normal apartments to churches, or even just stores and supermarkets. The vintage design of downtown Rome was too different from their home in Seoul to not let them be amazed by everything they saw.

Arrived at their destination, the group found the restaurant to be relatively empty, making finding a table much easier. Minnie and Vernon took the booth seating up against the wall, while Minghao sat across the table from them. The waiter arrived only shortly after they had settled down and greeted them with a kind smile. Ordering was easy, thanks to the older man understanding English, and done by the youngest of the three. They opted for three orange juices, pasta, a chicken meal, and a serving of ravioli.

It was then, that the girl noticed the clothing choices of each of them, giggling to herself before commenting. "Why am I the only one wearing the shirt we got?"

All eyes fell on her, eyeing her outfit.

"I thought we had to wear them all the time," she whined out loud, getting a round of quiet laughter from everyone around her. Minnie glanced over at the cameraman, who just shook his head. "You're telling me I could've looked cuter than this."

Vernon, next to her, hit her shoulder with a chuckle as Minghao smiled at her. "It's okay, you wear it very well," he reassured her.

Their food arrived a short while later. The waiter gave each plate to each member, letting them finally admire what they had ordered.

"It really looks so good," Hao commented, taking a quick picture of his plate before putting the phone to the side again.

Minnie, who was focused on her own device, typing away on the screen, looked up, "Yeah," she nodded, "You can tell how fresh everything here is."

The three started to eat, splitting their meals up between them, giving each other a small portion of everything on the table.

Lost in the smooth taste of their food, taking in each small flavour their tongues picked up, the group enjoyed their moment of silence together. For a few seconds, they were too focused on the lunch meals turned breakfast, to even engage in a simple conversation.

Vernon was the first to break the quietness when a thought hit him like a brick, whipping his head to the girl, who was pouring herself a glass of water.

"You can speak Italian, right?" He wondered, gaining the attention of the entire table.

She nodded. "A little bit. The basics I learned in school. Why?"

The younger member chuckled with a scoff, "Why did you let me order then?"

The sip she was taking from the glass was interrupted when she came to stop, her mouth closed as she giggled, trying to swallow before she could speak up again. 

"You didn't ask me to," Minnie smiled. "Also, I think I would be too shy to speak with an actual person from Italy. My Italian isn't that good."

Vernon was just about to say something when Minghao shook his head. "But you should. You should get more confident in speaking foreign languages."

"Yeah, you're good at learning them anyway," the youngest added, referring to the only academic 'gift' the female member had. But she just shrugged.

-

A bigger group of members that had split up from the rest, found themselves in a shop recommended by Na PD himself. They had ordered sandwiches for each one of them, along with a few bottles of Coke Zero and some wine - not caring about how early in the morning it was.

Amid their meal, Mingyu suddenly found the urge to contact the leader, who was in Korea, where it was now sometime in the afternoon. He picked up the Facetime call after only a few rings but kept his face hidden as he was sitting in a salon chair, getting his hair re-done.

"Show us. Let me see your face," the '97 Liner repeatedly kept on nagging the oldest member, showing the screen of his phone to the camera to reveal his face once he'd shown it.

"But I'm getting my hair dyed!" Seungcheol argued back.

"So let us see it!" The younger rapper argued again.

"You guys keep on contacting me!" The leader whined out. "Minnie has been texting me already. I sent her a picture."

"But she's not here with us. She went out with Vernon and Myungho, so show us your face now," Mingyu told him, continuously demanding a face reveal. Cheol finally gave in, turning his camera around to film himself in the chair, while two hairstylists were working on bleaching his hair.

-

EP2-2. Roman Holiday

"Everyone's here!" Na PD called out after counting the members on the bus. Everyone had found a seat for themselves and was enjoying the passing view outside of the windows. "We're going to see the Arch of Constantine and take pictures today," he explained further.

Due to the large number of members, the producer split them up into smaller groups, depending on where they were currently sitting. Jeonghan's group on the left side of the bus consisted of four, as well as Seungkwan's group on the right.

"And Group 3, the line in the back," Yeongseok pointed at them with the little flag he was carrying around with him. "The members who don't listen."

"Let's gooo!" Mingyu and Dokyeom shouted out together.

"Huh?!" Minnie wondered loudly, glancing over to the loud duo on the other side of the row, who seemed to be proud of the reputation they had gained.

Dino, who was sitting in the middle caught the shocked face of the female member, "Ah, noona!" Making him laugh out loud. "She doesn't like that title, hyung!"

"Who? Minnie-ya?" The producer looked at the very back of the bus, seeing the head of the girl peeking over the row in front of her.

"We listen well!" She argued back, getting a chuckle out of the older man and the rest of the group on the bus. Everyone knew, there was only a small amount of truth to her claim.

He shook his head, "I don't think so," getting another round of laughter from the members, while the girl had to fight a smile as she sunk back into the chair.

-

Each group had made their way off the bus, now walking around the ancient ruins toward the arch they were supposed to take pictures at. The hot weather had let the members only walk around in their individual shirts, with some of them also wearing the different kinds of hats they had bought in souvenir shops around the city. 

Minnie had put up her hair in a ponytail, and a pair of sunglasses high on her nosebridge as she looked around the open area. She decided to just enjoy the view while letting her fellow '97 Liner run around and take pictures. Na PD was close by her. A chuckle from the older man made her turn around, only to find out why. Mingyu was a few steps behind her, crouching down on the floor while his phone was directed at her.

"What are you doing?" She asked him, but he just shook her off with his hand,

"Keep on walking."

With a confused look on her face, she did as asked, continuing her casual walk, while the older man next to her kept on laughing at what was happening.

"Wait!" The rapper suddenly called out, running up to the girl. Dokyeom was still behind all of them, taking pictures of the scenery with his own phone. "Turn around and look over there," he tried to usher her to stand in the right position, moving her around with two strong hands on her shoulder. "Oh-", he turned her around for a split second, fixing a strand of hair that stuck out from the top of her head.

"You're really passionate about this, Mingyu-ya," Yeongseok commented with a chuckle, standing back with his arms crossed, watching the duo closely.

He nodded with a proud smile, "We need to get good pictures." Taking a few steps back, he crouched down slightly once again, tapping on his screen a few times while Minnie continued to pose on the opposite side of the makeshift dirt road they were walking on.

"Look here!" He called out. "And over your left shoulder!" His directions made the girl roll her eyes, a chuckle tumbling from her lips quickly after.

"Mingyu, you're being too much," she smiled at the man, who still had his knees bent, not stopping taking one pic after the other, even as she continued to get him to stop.

"You'll thank me for the pictures later," the rapper nudged his head provocatively at the '97 Liner, who took a deep breath in before fixing her hair and going after his demands of posing in front of the camera.

"Hyung!" She called out to the producer, motioning with her hand for him to come closer. "Take a picture with me! Please!"

With a shake of his head, he quickly gave in to the girl's request, jogging up to stand beside her before he slung his arm over her shoulder, posing together with her for another few pictures taken by Mingyu.

They resumed their journey through the open field with Na PD, Minnie, Mingyu, and Dokyeom walking all together.

"Ah...," the rapper sighed out in relief, "Isn't this so nice, guys?" Throwing his arms over the other two '97 Liners.

"It's really nice," DK agreed. "It kinda really feels just like youth. Like it's the last in my late 20s before ending our lives."

"What?" Minnie and Yeongseok glanced over at the singer in surprise, "What did you just say?" The girl wondered.

"Why are you ending your life? Hey!" The producer questioned the sudden statement.

Dokyeom quickly excused himself, trying to get the meaning he had originally wanted to express right, getting a round of laughter from the people next to him. Minnie shook her head with a smile, mumbling something under her breath.

"You mean, ending your late 20s well," Na PD explained for him, to which the members agreed.

The girl had kept her head down, following a stone she was kicking along with her feet as they were walking. "Yeongseok-hyung is so wise."

Her comment got a whole-hearted laugh from the older man, his hand petting her back, making her look up at him with a big grin. "Ah... that's very sweet of you Minnie-ya." Her right arm slung across his back to lean into him, pulling him in for a side hug and joining the chain the four had created.

-

The Arch of Constantine was even more magnificent than any of the members could've imagined. They had split up, each to be on their own or in smaller groups, taking pictures or just taking in the structure right in front of them and next to the Colosseum. Their eyes raked over each detail engraved into the old stone, pondering how it was even possible to create masterpieces like this such a long time ago.

The producers asked them to gather for the group photo, having to recall their position in the line they had decided on the day before. 

A picture, a video clip, and a few more personal pictures later, they went on their way further around the city, when some of the members found a cute little ice cream stand. The members who were craving the famous Gelato were quick to get in line, their orders already in their heads. Manager Dino was right next to them, using the pocket money they were gifted to pay for each treat.

With the refreshments in their hands, they continued their way through the streets of Italy. Passing blooming gardens, trees on the side of the roads, smiling people, and more ancient buildings that made Rome oh so special.

"I think I can really go on a world trip with just a camera," Wonwoo suddenly spoke up. Minnie, only a few steps in front of him, chuckled on slowed down her walk as the rapper reached out, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder to walk right beside her.

"How many pictures have you taken yet?" She asked, to which he looked down at the apparatus.

"I don't know, to be honest. A few."

In the next moment, the female member was standing in front of a colourful they had found along their way. Decorated with graffiti and drawings by multiple different artists, it seemed. Wonwoo, in his usual fashion, was holding up the camera, looking through the lens with one eye, taking a few steps back and forward again, trying to find an angle he'd like. Minnie smiled brightly, her sunglasses still high on the bridge of her nose. While she turned away to continue their walk, the '96 Liner kept his hold on the device tightly, taking a few more shots of the girl before putting the camera down to glance around the area, trying to look for the next beautiful thing to photograph.

-

The group had finally made their way back into the much cooler bus. Some of the members sighed out loud in exhaustion, complaining about the heat they were enduring. Everyone took the same seats as before, letting their backs rest against the cushions.

Next on the list: Lunch.

Na PD revealed the restaurant they were heading to to be a celebrity 'hot spot'. Multiple stars, including singers, actors, football players, etc. had dined there, making it become a very popular destination for others. As an example, he mentioned Leonardo Di Caprio. The members hollered out in excitement.

"Vernonnie,"

"Vernonnie!" Dokyeom and Mingyu commented, getting a round of chuckles from the other members. Minnie, grinned at the younger member next to her, watching his lips curl up as he shook his head slightly. With a giggle, she patted his shoulder.

-

"Let's go eat!" Jun called out as soon as the bus came to a halt. They had arrived at their lunch spot for the day. Waiters ushered them in and brought them to the table reserved for the big group in a slightly more private area of the restaurant. The female member to her seat opposite Na PD, next to Wonwoo, at the other end of the table.

The members were more than excited. Hours of walking around the hot city had brought hunger to their stomachs, ready to get a taste of even more traditional Italian cuisine - some had already gotten a taste early in the morning.

One of the waiters came back into the room, greeting them in true Italian fashion. He rounded the table, handing out a few of the menu cards so that at least two or three members could look at one together. That's when they found a catch. Everything was written in Italian.

"Oh... I really have no idea. There's no English at all," Vernon noticed. Minnie reached for the card Wonwoo had just put down, her eyes scanning the words.

"Ah...," she repeated with a nervous chuckle, "there really isn't."

Different possible solutions for their situation were thrown around. While some members were trying to make some sense of the words they were seeing, Mingyu suggested just ordering the most expensive items of each category. What part of them forgot though was that they had two people who could converse in a basic conversation with their language knowledge.

"The one that says 'fritti' is kind of fried," Joshua explained to his half of the table. "I think it means fried." He continued to go over the menu, explaining what he thought each meal would translate to.

"Funghi Porcini," Minnie read out, just to herself and whoever would catch her voice, "is with mushrooms." 

"What is Pomodoro?" Woozi wondered out loud. As Shua was still busy talking to the maknae on his right, the female member decided to answer.

"Tomato. So it's like... probably like pasta with just tomato sauce and basil."

With scrunched eyebrows, the '96 Liner glanced at her. "You understand this too?"

She shrugged, "A little bit."

Back in her own world with Wonwoo right next to her, they went through the meals together, him asking her what some of the things meant and her translating everything for him. Lost in their little convo, she didn't react when her name was first called out, only when the man next to her nudged her before pointing at Joshua, who was trying to get her attention.

"Hm?"

"Can you order for that side of the table, and I'll order for this?" He pointed to each side, as he asked her. "Is that okay?" Joshua apparently didn't forget about the mere two years she had to study the language in school.

Slightly lost in his question, the girl nodded before she could even say what she actually wanted. Because doing what he had asked of her was definitely not a thing she was ready to do. She didn't have the confidence some other members, *cough* Mingyu *cough*, were blessed with. She had never been one to just talk to random people, ESPECIALLY when those people spoke a language she wasn't fluent in. Just thinking back to her first days at Pledis. Seungcheol was the one who had to come up to her. Back then, he was surprised to find out that her Korean skills weren't half as good as he had thought. It hit her like a kick back into the past - now having to converse in a language she had spoken the last time when she was in school.

Vernon chuckled when a heavy sigh fell from her lips as she sunk into her chair. "Now you have to talk in Italian." Referring back to the morning they had spent together back at that breakfast place.

"This is gonna be so embarrassing." With a pained facial expression, she leaned over to put her forehead against Wonwoo's shoulder, taking a deep breath.

"They're not going to make fun of you," he tried to assure her, his hand patting her thigh in comfort. "They're nice. Just try it."

Minnie straightened her back again, almost quivering as her eyes fixed on the waiter walking into the room again. "They might not make fun of me openly, but they'll talk about it later. I have the worst accent when I talk Italian!" She shout-whispered, her fingers fidgeting in her lap.

Wonwoo tried his best not to chuckle at her reaction. He knew the situation was only half as bad as she interpreted it - always an overthinker. With a soft smile, he placed his hand on top of hers, trying to get her to calm down with his thumb running across her knuckles. 

"We all have accents when we speak English. But has that ever stopped like Seungkwan or Mingyu from speaking it?"

"Dino sometimes doesn't want to."

"But you're not Dino," he argued softly, just wanting to lean forward and gently kiss her pouty lips, but there couldn't have been a worse time or place for it than then.

"And I'm no Seungkwan or Mingyu either," she threw back, making him take a deep breath, but before he could say anything, Minnie shook her head. "I know, I'm sorry."

"Stop," he squeezed her hand. "Just don't overthink it, it's all good."

Their moment had to be cut short as the waiter had made his way over to their side of the table.

With a big smile, he greeted the group in his native tongue, forcing everyone to do the same. Minnie was handed the menu by Wonwoo, now at least able to point at the meals she possibly wouldn't pronounce correctly. She started off easily, talking slowly and trying to speak as clearly as she possibly could. Showing him the words on the card most definitely helped her. Every now and then, the man would ask questions as well, taking her back at first, but as he was just trying to get the order perfectly right, she warmed up to the situation. 

"Jeonghannie-hyung, what do you want?" She leaned forward to get a look at the oldest member. He had not given her his order yet.

He shook his head, "I'll eat anything you order for me, Minnie-ya." A quick glance at Woozi, he told her the same thing.

"And you, hyung?" She directed her attention to the man sitting across from her.

"Oh- this one please," he pointed at the menu he was holding onto, showing her the pasta meal he would want.

As scared as the female member was of messing up, she had only stuttered twice, and that was purely because she was unsure of the correct grammatical ending she would have to use in the sentence. The waiter nodded along with her order, writing down everything she mentioned on the menu before thanking her with another kind smile and disappearing again.

With a deep breath, the girl hunched over the table dramatically. Wonwoo chuckled at her antics, his hand coming up to rub her back.

"Damn," Vernon grinned, nodding his head at her.

The oldest man at the table couldn't take his eyes off the female member. His eyes were wide and a proud smile lit up his face.

"Woah... Minnie-ya," his voice made her look up. "How- I didn't know you spoke Italian so well."

She shook her head, "No... it's no- I only learned it in school for a bit."

"But that was really good!" He complimented her.

Minnie chuckled shyly, her shoulders lifting as she subconsciously leaned to the side.

Wonwoo patted her back one more time. "Good job," sending her a warm smile that she couldn't help but reciprocate.

-

Even though they had already gone through multiple jugs of the homemade house wine the restaurant had to offer, Na PD had ordered another few different types. The members only noticed it when there were new bottles put down on the table, along with more glasses as well. A green bottle and the same in red again were right in front of Minnie and Wonwoo, letting them try to read what the calligraphy around the logo said. As their side of the table was the first to receive the ordered wine, the other members got curious.

Mingyu got up from his seat, making his way over to stop in between his dormmates.

"Try and see which one is the expensive one," Yeongseok challenged them.

"Oh," Minnie chuckled, her hand placed on the arm of the '97 Liner as he leaned forward to get a better look at the bottles. "Mingyu will be good at this, I think."

Minghao joined them only shortly after.

"These two are different?" He wondered while Mingyu was already taking the first sip of what he had poured.

Minnie glanced up to her left, expecting her dormmate, only to be met with Dokyeom, who had also come along to the taste test. A pat on her shoulder made her look to the right. Mingyu handed her his glass of wine without a word, which she graciously took, taking a sip of the little bit he had left for her.

"Mm," she hummed, "I like this one."

He nodded, leaning against the wall as he looked down at her. "Me too, but I think it's the slightly cheaper one."

"I want to try the other as well. You too?" The girl wondered, getting a nod in return. She reached out to get a new glass and went to pour in some of it from the other bottle when it was suddenly snatched from her grip. Wonwoo got a hold of it, placing the glass closer to him before he let the liquid fill it up with a good amount.

"Don't pour yourself alcohol," he remarked before putting the glass back down in front of her. 

She nodded. "Thank you." Just as she was about to hand it over to Mingyu, he brushed her off with a motion of his hand.

"You take a sip first." Not fighting him back on it, she brought the rim up to her lips, tilting it back until the slight bitter taste hit her tongue. She took a small sip, her face scrunching up a bit as she put the glass down again.

The '97 Liner reached out to get it. "Not good?" He chuckled at her expression.

"That tastes like the red wine I usually don't like," she stated, taking a big gulp from the glass of Coke Zero by her plate.

"Oh," Mingyu commented, "I like it." After having tasted it and going back to take another sip.

"Then you can keep it," she told him, face still scrunched up by the bitterness, getting another chuckle out of him and a brush over the top of her hair.

-

Meal after meal was brought to their table, even more plates now filling even the smallest empty gaps. The members shared each pasta between them, handing over spoons full of each food they had ordered. 

They all were very well surprised by the tastes their tongue got to explore, but one member seemed particularly happy. Vernon.

"It's so good."

"Wow, it's really nice."

"This is really good." 

He kept on repeating, making the female member chuckle as she watched him closely.

She wasn't the only one to notice though. "He really likes spaghetti," Na PD pointed out, making the '98 Liner nod.

"I really like it."

"I haven't seen Vernon eat that well in a long time," Minnie commented, the corners of her lips still curled up.

-

EP2-3. On the Bus

The members had found themselves back on the bus after their well-enjoyed lunch break. Now, all full and happy, they were making their way up to the North, to their next destination: Tuscany.

Knowing, the drive would take a good 3 hours, some had already leaned back, ready to enjoy the long drive. They were wondering what the house they'd stay at next would look like. Knowing the production team, they probably went all out. Minnie had engaged in a comfortable conversation with Yeongseok during their lunch in the episode before, making them get closer than they were before. The girl had started to realise that this trip truly wouldn't be like the 'Youth Over Flowers' she had watched before. They had talked about the other members, life in general, and just getting to know each other member. She was definitely starting to warm up to him quite a lot. Minnie had been a fan of the man and the shows he had done in the past for quite a while, so getting to know him personally was quite intimidating. But just like the idol group as well, Na PD was too kind-hearted to not like him. The whole production crew in general. In some aspects, Minnie could see the members in some of the producers. How they could turn out in a few years, personality-wise. With shared humour and traits, it was easy to get close to them. They were enjoying a holiday together after all.

"Iced Americano...," Yeongseok suddenly spoke up. 

"I love it so much."

"Is so nice."

"Thank you so much." Came from different members as answers. They didn't know yet, that the drink wasn't being offered to them. 

At this point, Na PD was just showing off, as they had found out. "I really like it, that's just what I said," he commented with a devilish smile already teasing his lips. Some of the members were getting quite desperate, and he noticed it, but it only amused the older man even more.

"But... there might be some members who like it, right?" He wondered teasingly.

"Like it?" Minnie wonders out loud, her head popping out from behind the seats of Wonwoo and Woozi. "Seungkwan breathes Iced Americano!" Getting a round of chuckles from the members, including Yeongseok.

"Oh, is that so?" He asked the younger member who just so happened to sit right behind him. "Well... if there are other members that like it... we brought 13 cups just in case."

The bus was immediately filled with groans of desperation and shock, everyone surprised by the kind gesture. Especially from the members who had been living life on the limit with the caffeine deficit they had been enduring over the past few days as the espresso they'd get in the city was not pleasing their tastebuds.

So, Na PD was holding onto 13 cups of coffee, but he wasn't just going to give them to each of the members, they had found out. The production crew came up with an 'S.Coups quiz' where the prize of each rightly-answered question would be one of the cups. At this point, you could feel the heated personalities of the members rise up and physically watch as the more competitive members sat up straighter in their seats. Minnie smirked.

"As a reference, we don't know the answers either," Yeongseok explained. "We need to do a video call and find out."

"Ooooh," Minnie whispered to herself.

After going through the rules one more time, the first question was thrown at them right away.

"'Coups' quiz!" Na PD called out, "Right now, what is S.Coups doing? In detail."

A few hands shot up immediately, but Mingyu was the first to also call out his name, therefore getting picked first.

"After dying his hair, he's at home," he simply answered.

The producer repeated his answer, making sure he got each detail correctly.

"After he finished dying his hair, he went home," the '97 Liner explained one more time.

"But I'm curious about what he's doing at home right now," Yeongseong told him, making a few more hands come up.

"Minnie!" The female member shouted out, getting picked next. "He's playing video games."

"And what kind of video games?" He nagged further.

The girl sighed out with a smile, "How am I supposed to know that? He plays a lot..."

"I need to know everything in detail," the man clarified one more time.

The next member to try and get the right answer was Vernon, who repeated Minnie's answer with a little addition.

"Computer game," he stated.

"Ah, computer game? And what game?"

With a groan, the '98 Liner leaned forward, tilting his head into the narrow walkway of the bus, holding onto the handles by the seat in front of him, where Wonwoo was sitting. The older member turned to the side with a smirk on his lips,

"LoL, LoL, LoL," he kept on repeating, trying to help the younger rapper. This didn't go unnoticed by the girl, who gasped once Vernon repeated what he had just been told.

"You cheater," she whispered at him as soon as his back hit the cushion of his seat again.

"Blame Wonwoo-hyung. He helped me," he defended himself, only getting a shake of her head from Minnie in return, her lips pressed together tightly.

Hoshi, Jun, Woozi, and Joshua gave their own ideas as well, desperately hoping their answer would be the right one. Before anyone else could even be picked, Mingyu shouted out to grab everyone's attention. He had caught Minghao texting Seungcheol and filmed him to have evidence in his hands. The dancer was thrown out of this round by Na PD, making the other members celebrate in glee.

Wonwoo, Dokyeom, Seungkwan, Dino, and Jeonghan were the last ones to drop their answer - Minghao was still too sulky to give his.

Seungkwan was the one who would get to call the leader via video call. He fixed his hair while waiting for the oldest member to pick up. Dokyeom was hoping he'd be on the toilet pooping. After a good minute of silence from the other end of the line, they were close to giving up on the call when Wonwoo chuckled out loud. He had found S.Coups' 'online' status on the Discord app. They decided to call him that way, but only to tell him to pick up the video call from the '98 Liner, so they'd be able to see him. After another try, they were finally met with his face on the phone screen in the younger member's hands. They briefly went over the quiz they were currently doing before getting to the question they all had been desperately waiting to ask him.

"What are you doing?"

"Right now? Playing games," he told them, getting a loud shout of glee from Vernon in the very back.

"I said that!" Minnie argued with the member next to her, hitting his shoulder as he was celebrating his not-yet-fixed win a little too much.

"What game?" Dokyeom raised his voice so the leader would be able to hear him.

Seungkwan repeated it. "What game exactly?"

"LoL."

That's when the girl scoffed out with an annoyed smirk, letting the boy to her right shout out in glee. 

"I said LoL!" He proudly announced. The girl just shook her head. He was handed over his cup of Iced Americano and took a sip, followed by a happy sigh as he leaned back.

"I hate you so much right now," the girl joked, glancing over at the younger member.

Vernon chuckled, "You should've listened to Wonwoo when he said it."

"But he said it to you! He didn't even try to help me," she whined, the feeling of betrayal hitting her. "Unbelievable," she mumbled under her breath. The '98 Liner couldn't help but laugh at her. 

Thankfully, they were quick to move on to the next question.

"It's 11pm in Korea right now," Na PD started again. "Coups is currently playing a lot of LoL. BUT... before he played LoL... what did Coups eat for dinner?"

Everyone immediately agreed that the answer to this would be too hard for them to guess. After all, there were at least a thousand different things he could've ordered or made. But still, Mingyu was, once again, the first one to guess, giving his answer with, "Chicken breasts!" The leader was on a diet after all. The maknae decided on him probably not eating anything at all since the '95 Liner would be filming his part of the 'God of Music' music video the following day.

Dokyeom, Jun, and Joshua followed right after, each giving a different answer. Hoshi went against Dino's idea and threw out that the oldest of the group enjoyed a heavy meal before starting to play his game. And Vernon was the last one to give his answer.

"Did everyone guess?" The producer wondered out loud, losing count of each of the members once again.

The idols started looking around the bus. The ones who didn't want to give an answer shook their head.

"Minnie hasn't said anything yet!" Vernon called out, earning himself a nudge to his ribs.

"Oh- noona! What's your answer?" The youngest leaned forward as he glimpsed to his left to get a look at the female member.

Yeongseok pushed himself up to glance at the very back of the bus. "Minnie-ya!" He shouted out for her, "What do you think?"

"I don't want to say anything!" She whined back, still sulky from the moment between Vernon and Wonwoo.

"Ah- don't be like that," Na PD sighed. "You know S.Coups well, right?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "Naengmyeon."

"Naengmyeon?!" The producer raised his voice in confusion, followed by the other members who did the same.

"Never mind," Dino shook his head, "She takes that back." His remark got a few chuckles from the others.

Seungkwan turned around, "But he has a shoot tomorrow."

"Well, maybe he wanted to treat himself before work. He likes naengmyeon," she argued back, looking over the seats in front of her.

"No... I don't think so," Mingyu muttered, daring to take a quick peek over to the side, where she was already glaring at him.

"Not everyone can enjoy a boring diet like yours," she threw at him, making Vernon laugh and push her back by her shoulders.

"No fighting, kids!" Na PD demanded with a smile and a shake of his head, mumbling something inaudible under his breath. "Let's find out."

That time, Jeonghan was handed the phone to call the leader. Within only a few rings, he picked up the second video call.

"Oh, Jeonghan-ah," S.Coups greeted the second oldest of the group, his eyes switching between looking at the phone screen and his computer.

"Hey, Coups. What did you eat for dinner?" He got straight to the point.

"For dinner?" Cheol wondered out loud. "Ehm... I had... Naengmyeon."

"Naengmyeon!" Jeonghan repeated it louder to let everyone hear. Loud gasps filled the bus in an instant.

Minnie shot up from her seat, "REALLY?!"

"You really ate naengmyeon?" Dokyeom couldn't believe the answer the leader had given them. "Why did you eat naengmyeon when you have the music video filming tomorrow?"

Vernon, still surprised by the actual answer, scooted forward in his seat. "Why are you eating naengmyeon?" All while Minnie was looking at the phone Jeonghan was still holding up with a big smile on her face.

A few more exclaims fell from the members, clearly stunned by the meal choice of the oldest member before Jeonghan tried to hang up the phone.

"Wait-," the leader called out, "Jeonghan. What do you think of my dyed hair?" 

The '95 Liner grinned, "Pretty, pretty!" He lifted the hand that was clutching onto the phone, "Guys, Coups' hair is pretty, right?" Of course, he got each member to agree with hums, nods, and words directed to the leader.

"Oppa, your hair looks so pretty!" Minnie shouted out happily, "Thank you for eating naengmyeon!"

"What did she say?" The oldest chuckled, moving closer to the screen with scrunched eyebrows.

Jeonghan chuckled, "She says your hair is pretty and thanked you for eating naengmyeon."

"Did she get it right?" To which the other member nodded. "You're welcome, Minnie-ya!"

"He says 'you're welcome'!" The singer turned around in his seat, his eyes immediately on the grinning girl, who sent a dramatic flying kiss in his direction. Vernon pulled her down with an amused shake of his head.

A few 'goodbyes' back and forth later, the video call ended.

"So, Minnie-ya!" Na PD called out for the female member, "You really got it right!"

"I know!" Grinning from ear to ear, Minnie's smile could've lit up a dark room instantly.

"Well done," Woozi nodded to himself, "I would've never thought he'd eat that while dieting."

Wonwoo glanced at his fellow '96 Liner, "Me neither."

"Noona apparently really knows Coups-hyung the best," Dino commented, watching the grin not leaving her lips.

"Seems like it," Dokyeom agreed.

"You deserved it. Enjoy the Iced Americano!" The producer congratulated her, handing over the cold plastic cup to the back, each member passing it further until it reached Vernon, who tried to take a sip.

A smack to his arm stopped him, "What are you doing?" The girl smiled at him, getting a chuckle in return as he finally handed her her prize.

"Thank youuuu!" She shouted one more time before bringing the coffee up to her lips, a smile still plastered on her face.

In true Seventeen fashion, they came up with a deal next. Agreeing, that the S.Coups quiz might be too hard, for some, they asked for an Italy trivia quiz instead. As Na PD was very knowledgeable in the culture and history, having been here before, he let himself get dragged into the agreement. Minnie already knew she'd prefer to stay in the background, happily sipping on her coffee while she watched the chaos unfold right in front of her.

-

Only when it suddenly turned into a quiz just for Dino, Minnie's ears perked up.

"Listen to the question first. Just think about it," Yeongseok told the maknae, who had moved slightly forward, now sitting at the edge of his seat. "What word refers to the world-famous first division of professional Italian soccer?" The members were quick to agree that the question was easy to answer, but the youngest just nodded along mindlessly.

Na PD tried to encourage him, promising that he'd be able to get to answer while looking for others to do the same. He called out Dokyeom, who was smiling at him, expecting him to support the '99 Liner, when instead, he suddenly shouted out the correct answer.

"Serie A!"

"W-Why are you saying it?" The producer laughed out loud, the rest of the group joining him, glancing back at the '97 Liner who started to apologise, not having realised he wasn't supposed to actually answer the given question.

"Oh..." Dino sat up straighter, "Is that the answer?"

Na PD couldn't help but laugh warmly at the maknae. "This-... He doesn't even know what it is!"

"No, I thought it was Paris Saint-Germain," he explained. The entire bus filled with laughter.

The girl whipped her head to the right, getting a chuckle from Vernon, who was already clutching his stomach from the antics of the other members. 

"That's the of a team!"

"That's a team from Paris!" Vernon and Minnie laughed out loud together, the younger member finding more humour in the situation while the girl looked genuinely concerned, her eyebrows scrunched together and her lips slightly agape. 

Mingyu patted Dino's shoulder, "That's in Paris!"

"It's Paris!" Vernon hit his thigh, raising his voice slightly.

"Dino-ya-" Minnie started, but was interrupted.

"Wait, wait-" the youngest stopped everyone around him, "Isn't Italy part of Europe?"

The '98 Liner could barely hold himself together anymore, nudging his elbow into the maknae's side, laughing out loud as if he was gasping for air. In shock, Minnie leaned back into her chair. The rapper looked over, finding her covering her mouth with a hand and closing her eyes to take a deep breath. It only made him laugh harder.

"Is he serious?" She asked him, chuckling at how he was barely holding on. "Is this real?" She shook her head, leaning over to pat the '99 Liner's thigh. "Dino-ya," he turned his head to meet her eye, "Paris Saint-Germain is a team from Paris. Paris is a city in France. Both Italy and France are in Europe, but one thing doesn't have to do anything with the other."

"Aaaah, really?" He nodded his head. At least somebody was educating this man.

With a defeated look, Minnie let herself fall back against the cushion. A quick peek to the side made her chuckle as Vernon was already looking at her with a grin plastered on his face.

-

EP2-4. Today's chefs, SEVENTEEN!

The bus went on for another hour or two that was spent quietly as each member focused on themselves. Most eyes were focused on the passing landside, and others were trained on their phones. Minnie managed to catch a quick nap of only a few minutes but it definitely helped to let the time pass.

"We're arriving at the supermarket in 20 minutes," Na PD announced. "Think about what we're going to eat today."

"Who wants to go to the supermarket?" Seungkwan questioned the room.

Mingyu was quick to react, "I want to go!"

"Me too," the '98 Liner added.

As Dino was the manager who was holding onto all of the pocket money the group had received, he wondered, "Should I go?" The members agreed.

The eyes of the biggest member drifted to the other side of the bus, "Minnie-ya," catching the attention of the girl. "Do you want to go too?" Knowing she'd actually be of big help in the grocery store as the designated members would only be able to converse in English in emergencies.

She nodded with a smile, "Yeah, sure."

"Minnie, Mingyu, Seungkwan, Dino," Wonwoo counted out loud, making the rest of the group nod. It was a good choice of members that would buy fun stuff, good stuff, but still responsibly.

Now that they had the chosen buyers that would hit the supermarket, the next decision would be what they'd even want to buy. What would be on the menu for the evening? It didn't take long to agree on the cuisine: Korean. None of them had the energy or confidence at that point to recreate any of the meals they were gifted during their lunch break. They knew they could cook something Korean, they just hoped they'd find the right ingredients.

-

The four got off the bus, heading over to get a cart first.

"Woah... it looks like an American Supermarket," the girl commented, following the '98 Liner who had already spotted the carts.

Inside, they immediately started looking for the meat section. They found the counter, with a woman and a man behind it, who was already looking at them as they got closer. Their eyes drifted over each meat they offered, trying to find something them and the others would enjoy. Minnie didn't get to say anything before Mingyu started talking to the employee, pointing at the raw meat he had found.

"Is that pork belly?" The girl wondered, stopping by his right, glancing at the butcher who was cutting it into thick pieces.

The rapper shrugged, "I think. It looks like it." They also found some pork neck, asking the man to cut some for them as well.

Next: Chicken. Just further down, they found more meat in individual coolers. Seungkwan reached out for one plastic-wrapped carton.

"Doesn't this look like chicken breast?" The maknae wondered.

Mingyu reached out to grab it, taking a closer look. "Isn't it intestines?" At the mention, Minnie's face scrunched up in disgust. She wasn't vegetarian, but she had her limits. "Do you know?" He looked down at her.

Taking a small step closer to his side, he held up the package for her. "Petto Pollo Coop? Pollo means chicken ...," she told the group. "And I'm pretty sure Petto means chest. But I don't know about Coop"

"Are you sure?" Seungkwan asked her, but her nod was hesitant.

"Like... 90%, yeah."

"That's good enough," Mingyu tossed it into the cart without another word, before leaning down into the cooler to get more. "Let's buy a lot of this."

At their stop in the seafood section, the girl stood back, letting the guys decide as she was the last person to ask when it came to a meal including anything from the ocean. The other members locked their eyes on some salmon and just decided to take a few more packages of it, not caring about anything else from that side of the supermarket.

They hit the vegetables and frozen foods section next, making a quick stop at a small stall that held freshly made warm chicken they could buy.

"The members would like this," they commented.

During their time in the drinks department, they noticed just how quickly the cart was filling up.

"The members drink a lot of Pepsi, right?" Seungkwan chuckled at the sight of multiple bottles and cans they had thrown in.

Minnie laughed, crossing her arms in front of her chest, "They need their caffeine." Knowing she was one of said members.

"Underwear," the '98 Liner suddenly remembered. "Underwear for the members.

"Oh, right," Mingyu nodded, "We have slippers, but we need to buy underwear." In the aisle, the girl split from the other guys as female underwear was on the other end of the line, having to look for it herself. Her fellow '97 Liner noticed her sudden absence, walking over to where she was standing.

"Did you find something?" He wondered.

Minnie nodded, holding up her hand that was clinging onto two hangers, each with a bra, while in her other she was holding a few three-sets of underwear. Without asking, Mingyu reached out, getting everything out of her grip as he noticed her eyes were still searching for something. She let go of it easily, knowing better than to fight his stubborn head when it came to carrying things for her.

"What are you looking for?" He asked her, walking along with her as she took slow steps down the aisle.

"A bikini."

"You mean a swimsuit?"

Minnie chuckled with a roll of her eyes, glancing up at him, a knowing grin on her lips. "Whatever I can find. But preferably a bikini." 

A few steps to the right, he stopped right in front of something he had found. "What about this?" He nudged his head towards the shelves. With raised eyebrows, the girl walked over, wondering what he had seen that she could want. As soon as her eyes fixed on it, she stopped in her tracks. A wetsuit. Of course.

"Funny," she jokingly glared at him, getting a chuckle out of him in return.

"I'm serious," he shrugged, knowing damn well that girl wasn't about to buy a wetsuit to wear to the pool they would have at the next place.

Minnie shook her head, her lips still curled to a smile. "No, I think I'll go with this one." Walking back to take what she had located earlier off the rack. "But thank you for your opinion." 

She held it up, watching Mingyu just turn around, ready to join the others again. The female member jogged a bit to catch up with him, giggling at his antics.

-

On their way to the register, they passed a snack aisle, stopping there for a bit to roam around, throwing anything that looked somewhat good into their cart. Crisps, gummies, literally anything. Minnie was the only one, who pushed them towards the fruits that were lined up against the wall of the grocery store. She got a few bananas and apples, still thinking about somehow evening out their intake of unhealthy snacks - it was a bad habit of hers that was hard to get rid of.

They had texted the other members early, once they got in line, so they'd come to help them with the almost insane amount of bags filled with food, clothes, and ingredients. Only 40 minutes later, they were outside and back on the bus again.

-

Minnie fell into another quick nap on the bus as the darkness illuminated by the warm street lights made her even sleepier than she already was. She only realised they had arrived when groans and hollers of happiness filled the confined space.

The group got off the bus and made their way forward towards the house, some had offered to carry the boxes and bags from the grocery store along with them. Minnie was one of the last ones in line as they finally got to the old-fashioned farmhouse.

Entering it felt like almost jumping into a new universe. Old stones and ancient furniture with an Italian touch surrounded them.

"Wow...," the girl gasped as soon as she walked it, trying to take in every corner she passed. "This is so beautiful... oh my God..." The members who were in front of her agreed, each one of them not able to grasp the beauty of the building they'd be staying in for the next few days. Every detail was so simple yet so pretty, the stones on the wall adding to the vintage feeling of the house. It was old, yet cosy and warm. It felt inviting.

The house had enough bedrooms for the members to share, some holding two beds, some having three. But who would get to sleep in which one, they'd decide through a game of 'Rock-Paper-Scissors'.

"It doesn't really matter here because all of them are nice," Woozi commented, making Minnie, who was standing next to him nod in agreement.

Once it was her turn to choose a room, she started roaming around again, taking a peek into each one to see what members had already occupied which ones. The two rooms right by the front door were the last ones she'd get to look at. She walked to the one on her left first.

"Oh, noona!" Dino greeted her with a big smile. Mingyu came back out from the attached bathroom, glancing at the girl.

"You guys are here?" She wondered, to which the two members nodded. "Alright." Without another word, she exited it again, walking across the floor to the other one.

"Hello?" She called out into the, what seemed to be an empty, room. When she didn't get an answer back, she shrugged and threw the tote bag, which Jeonghan had bought for each member back in Rome, on the double bed. Only a second later, she let her body fall onto the mattress, a pleasant groan tumbling from her lips. She let her eyes close for a split second before some of the other guys suddenly appeared in her doorway.

"Do you guys already have a bed?" 

Dokyeom nodded, "I'm sharing a room with Jeonghannie-hyung," he told her.

"And I'm with Vernon and Woozi," Hoshi told her, making her nod.

They were quick to walk back into their individual rooms again and Minnie decided to take a look at the bathroom, whose door was against the same wall as the bed.

"Where's a bed that's left?" The last member of the game, Wonwoo, shouted through the house. He walked into the room that was closest to him on his right. The room that Minghao and Jun shared.

"I think Minnie's alone in her room," the '97 Liner stated as soon as he saw the older member enter.

"Where's her room?" He asked them, turning around without waiting for an answer. "Minnie-ya?" His loud voice bounced off the old walls as he continued walking through the living room, towards the entrance door.

"What?" She called back, walking out of the bathroom again, towards the door to her room, stepping out to see what was going on. Her eyes met Wonwoo's, who was taking quick steps up to her

"Minghao said you have a bed left," he explained. Minnie nodded, a yawn suddenly coming up, making her cover her mouth. She walked back inside.

"You can share it with me," she spoke through the sign of sleepiness, making the rapper chuckle. The female member sat down on the bed, watching the '96 Liner put his stuff onto the chair in the corner. She leaned back to get a hold of her bag.

"Can you put my stuff there too? Please." She asked, handing him the tote bag to collect all of their clothes and personal items in one place. 

The two decided to walk back outside, finding some of the boxes the members had left in the living room that were filled with ingredients that would be more suitable in the kitchen. Just as they went to pick them up and make their way downstairs, Hoshi joined the duo.

"Are you going to the kitchen?" He wondered, looking at Wonwoo who nodded at him before his eyes fell on the girl, who was carrying one of the boxes that was clearly way too heavy. "Oh- wait, give that to me."

"No, no, it's okay," she brushed him off.

"No, let me help you," he argued back, winning the fight as she let go of the carton, choosing to follow him in silence down the stairs, where their maknae greeted them. As soon as they reached the ground floor, Dino walked over to the performance leader, taking over in carrying the heavy box.

"Hyung!" Minnie chuckled at the scene in front of her, "You said you wanted to help me."

"But our maknae is so strong, how could I say no," he defended himself with a grin, making the girl shake her head.

"I worked out," Dino proudly announced with a big smile on his lips, getting all three of the members to chuckle sweetly.

They put everything on the kitchen island before going through each item individually. Minnie took a second to look around the room.

"This... this really looks like a dream house. And a dream kitchen."

"I know," Mingyu agreed, "I said to Dino this is the perfect height for a counter," before turning around, "And the stove is really good too."

The female member looked down at the surface, her hands brushing over the wood, "Really pretty."

"This is egg," her fellow '97 Liner announced, handing the item over to the youngest who was standing by an open fridge door.

"Eggs. Multiple," Minnie chuckled. She didn't correct the other members' English very often, but every now and then, she would decide that a remark was more important. Just like now.

"Eggs," Mingyu repeated, continuing to go through their groceries. "This is- OH, ice cream. Ice cream, ice cream," his tone suddenly became rushed. "Come on yo, come on yo!" The girl couldn't help but laugh at her members.

"Emergency, emergency!" Dino played into it, repeating the words over and over again while finding a place for the item in the freezer.

"You guys are weird," she mumbled under her breath with a smile, collecting the bags of salad Wonwoo and Hoshi were placing on the counter.

-

The rest of the group had started to come together in the kitchen, circling the island. Everyone but Jun and Vernon as they had found comfort on the couch and their bed, motion sickness from the drive slowly catching up with them.

"Then, I will start," Mingyu, the main cook of the group announced. "We just need to grill the meat, chop the ingredients and set it up." He pointed at Dokyeom, "You need to make the stew, right?" 

His fellow '97 Liner nodded, "Yeah, I'll make the stew."

Hoshi, who already had his mouth full of snacks, spoke up. "There can't be too many chefs. You two be the main chefs," he decided. "Tell us if you need anything." The others agreed, knowing that too many members would just cause chaos they didn't need.

"Okay!" Mingyu exclaimed, rolling up his already short sleeves, "Let's move quickly." 

Dokyeom and Minnie had gathered at the corner of the kitchen island, eyeing the meat they had bought.

"I will do about four strips of pork," the singer clarified, "Four stripes." Glancing over at the rapper of the '97 Line, hoping to get his opinion.

He nodded, "Four strips would be good."

"What can I help you guys with? Anything I can cut up?" The girl wondered, but before DK could say anything, Mingyu shook his head.

"No, it's okay."

"But I want to help," she argued, walking over to the man by the stove. "Tell me what I can do."

He turned around, pointing straight forward. At the table. "Sit there."

The female member rolled her eyes and smacked his arm, "Stop, I'm serious." Watching him move around to gather everything he'd need. "I can hand you pots or something. A cooking spoon?"

"No," Mingyu shook his head with a chuckle, "I really don't need help."

"I could-" Not even letting her finish, the rapper grabbed her by the shoulders and moved her forward, stopping by the kitchen island.

"Just stay right here." He told her before going back to the fried rice he would be preparing on the stove.

Minnie sighed in defeat, taking her place next to Wonwoo and Minghao, who were focused on DK and Dino on the other side of the island. 

"Dokyeom-ah, can I help you with something?" She moved on to the next member, but he had already caught up on the conversation that happened behind him merely a few seconds ago.

"No, Minnie-ya. But thank you for offering."

Bored out of her mind, the female member waltzed through the room, looking around the walls and vintage display case in one of the corners. After that didn't seem to fill her boredom anymore, she stopped by the table. Wonwoo was already sitting on a chair on the left side of it.

"You need to leave the cooking to the ones who cook well," he stated, noticing the silence from the girl after she was practically thrown out of the kitchen.

"But I can cook as well," Minnie whined, "Or at least help." She took a deep breath in, "But I agree, you really shouldn't cook." Making both of them chuckle in unison.

"If I put my hands on it... not delicious," he stated, making the female member laugh with a nod.

-

She spent most of the rest of the time by the dining table, taking a few glances back at the kitchen, internally hoping, she'd get something to do. That's when her gaze fell on Mingyu, who just stood by the kitchen island... when he was supposed to be the one to cook. With scrunched eyebrows, she got up from the chair, making her way over to where more members had gathered together. That's when she saw it. Minghao had replaced the rapper's position by the stove.

She gasped quietly, "You let Hao help, but not me?" Minnie glared up at the man in front of her, who shook his head.

"Minnie-ya...," he sighed, meeting her eyes as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Maybe you should live with him," she mumbled, a pout evident on her lips.

"Stop being like that," He reached out to get a hold of her arm, but she moved away swiftly. Only that she had forgotten about his much longer legs and arms. With a big step forward, he was able to grab her gently by her upper arm, pulling her to turn back around, facing him now.

"Do you really think I cook bad?" She asked him immediately, gazing up at him with her lips almost quivering. Mingyu could tell her sleepiness was catching up with her as this wouldn't be her usual behaviour. His eyes softened. He chuckled and shook his head,

"No, I don't think you cook bad. But can you please just sit back and relax. You fell asleep on the bus twice. Just rest for now." Pointing at the table, where Jeonghan was sitting now. She had already sighed too many times to count anymore.

-

At some point during their food preparations, Minnie had gotten up and rushed up the stairs to get her own zip-up hoodie, the same one Seungkwan had surprised them with. Once she was back downstairs again, the table was fully set, and the members were getting ready to sit down. The seat by the corner, next to of the dining table, right next to the main vocalist was kept free, suggesting that she could claim it for herself.

"It's comfortable, right?" Seugnkwan asked her as soon as she sat down, seeing the black hoodie engulfing her body.

The female member nodded with a smile, rubbing her hands up and down her arms, "It's really warm."

Each of them was able to put on their plate whatever their heart desired, they had enough options. Dokyeom's stew, Mingyu's meat and fried rice, the salad Dino made, along with the already cooked chicken they bought in the supermarket, as well as other small things they heated up during their cooking.

Once a spoon of the stew hit her tongue, the girl groaned in pleasure, "Woah...," she sighed, "Even on the other side of the world, Korean food still tastes so good." Getting a nod from the members next to her. "Well done, Dokyeom."

The singer grinned, "Thank you, Minnie, I'm glad you like it."

The members ate well, even if they didn't think they would, recalling their big lunch only a few hours ago. But with the variety they had, none of them could say no. Minnie filled her plate with some rice, along with the Salad the others didn't touch, due to the yellow mustard Dino had used instead of honey mustard, but the girl didn't mind.

"At least someone likes the salad," the maknae commented, noticing the girl eating it. With a piece of it in her mouth, she giggled, covering the lower half of her face.

"It's still good, Dino," nodding at him reassuringly, "You did very well."

The maknae smiled proudly, going back to finishing his own plate of food.

-

After the last member decided they couldn't put another piece of anything on the table into their mouths, the time for cleaning up arrived. Usually, the group would play a quick game to decide on the roles, but for that evening they just agreed to do it all together. Woozi and Hoshi would be in charge of washing the dishes, while the others would be cleaning up the table and collecting trash.

"What are you going to do with the leftover nuggets?" Wonwoo wondered while most of them were gathered around the table, cleaning the plates and throwing away the remains of what they had just eaten.

"We can wrap them up and put them in the fridge," Minnie suggested, holding onto two plates, on her way to get them to the sink.

"Wrap them in plastic?" He asked further.

The girl nodded, "Yeah, I'll do it here," nodding at the now almost empty counter.

"Wrap them in plastic. Wrap them in your rap," Dokyeom just spat out.

Wonwoo chuckled at the comment, "Should I?" Not even waiting for an answer, he already started, on his way into the kitchen. "YO!" 

Minnie, who came back to gather the nuggets from his hold, stopped to laugh, pushing him away from her with a slight shove.

"Oooh, nice, nice!" Joshua complimented him.

"What was that?" She chuckled along with the others. The rapper only shook his head, moving her to walk back towards the kitchen island with a hand on her back.

"What's with Wonwoo's form?" The '95 Liner wondered, still laughing along with Dokyeom.

"He really is a Hip-Hop-Unit member," Minnie commented, earning her a nudge to her side, but a round of chuckles from the guys by the table. She had found the cling foil and was about to cut a piece off it, the box of nuggets already in front of her.

"Ah..." Wonwoo sighed, "This is too big to wrap it up in my rap."

The female member shook her head again, "Stop," she couldn't hold back a giggle.

"I think we need to use Coups' rap," he explained to Dokyeom, who exclaimed his disappointment, continuing the joke.

A grin tickled Minnie's lips at the comment that came to her head. "Because he's a better rapper than you?" She teased, looking up once she heard a gasp from her fellow '97 Liner, but silence from her dormmate.

"Wow..." he met her eyes as she bit down on her lips, trying not to break into a fit of laughter. "Wow..." Wonwoo just repeated while Dokyeom was already crouching over from laughing right behind them.

Minghao, who was just on his way over to them had stopped in his tracks, "Did she say he's a better rapper than you?" With wide eyes, he glanced at the two. "Did you really?"

"I'm sorry," Minnie shyly admitted, reaching out to place her hands on the rapper's arm. Was she, though? Not really.

The reaction it got out of the members made it definitely worth it. Sometimes, they'd forget the sharp tongue the female member was born with.

"I just wanted to say because he's louder," the '96 Liner looked down at the '97 Liners who were chortling together. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry!" She laughed, wrapping her arms around his frame, her face squished up against his chest. "You're right, he's only a louder rapper than you."

Taglist: @waosobii @chaebb @lunarxsun @hoe4wonwoo @kimhyejin3108 @soobzao @billboard-singer @cosmicwintr @zwiehe @alixnsuperstxr @angie-x3 @smooore @allthings-fandoms @lllucere

[dreamwritersworld]

Space..(mike schmidt x reader)

Your relationship with mike was beautiful before all your responsibilities came crashing down.

late night shifts…

taking care of abby…

arguments…

Now there was tension and you hadn’t spoken to each other in what felt like weeks..

Your days were filled of waking up early beside Mike who was still asleep from the late nights shifts, bags under both of your eyes.

It hurt seeing him so different then before, you guys had fallen in love young and stayed together since then. Once Mike was given the responsibility of Abby everything changed, of course you loved her but it was true.

The reality was you were now given a child and the dynamic of your relationship shifted. You both took your role and for the first three weeks it was stressful yet remained peaceful, Abby wasn’t as open to Mike as she was to you…not until later on.

Two weeks ago is when it started, Mike was getting lazy. It was as if he had given up on taking care of the family..

This was the fifth time in a row that Mike had walked past me, after coming home from work. He hadn’t bothered to say hello, like he usually did before. We haven’t spoken in forever because now he sleeps and goes.

I had woken up earlier than usual to get Abby ready for her picture day. Breakfast was prepped for us, we ate and picked out the clothes she’d wear. I spent the morning perfecting her curls and jewelry, sending her off and leaving her at the parking lot of the school..

“You look so beautiful Abby, I can’t wait to see your pictures!!”

“Thank you Y/n, will you pick me up today or are you working another shift?”

I couldn’t help but sigh remembering that Mike forgot her the other three times, leaving her waiting for me to pick her up while he slept.

“I can’t today princess I’ll be working but I can assure you that your brother won’t forget you!”

Abby smiled and waved goodbye giving me one last hug before she left the car

I made sure to send a text to mike reminding her to not forget her and he replied ok, my worries were taken care of and I had reliefs…

A couple hours later while at work my phone was going off like crazy, and when I picked it up I saw it was calls from the school and I answered immediately, walking away to go someplace quiet..

“Hello? I’m Abby’s caretaker is anything wrong? Did her brother forget her?”

“Ahh yes he did. We were just a little worried as it has been about 20 minutes since school ended, will you be picking her up?”

“Yes! I will I’m leaving work right now! Thank you for calling I’m so sorry for the wait!”

“We understand, we’ll see you soon.”

The call ended and although I remained calm on the call I was infuriated. There I was once again having to tell the boss for the fourth time in the row that my boyfriend had an emergency and i had to pick up his little sister from school…of course he was mad urging me to fix the issue or else we’d have a problem.

I ran to my car soaking wet from the rain, rushing across the roads and through the traffic to get Abby. It was embarrassing, having to pick her up once again seeming like the most imperfect caretaker. This wasn’t what abby needed or deserved and this wouldn’t look good in family court for her either.

The school released abby to me and I stood there for awhile apologizing profusely to the teacher who had to wait for her. Once I made my goodbyes we ran to the car and I realized that Abby was holding tears in her eyes, her curls had gotten messy and her dress wet.

“Oh abby i am so sorry-“

“No! It’s fine! Really it’s fine! It’s not your fault.”

Her voice had raised and cracked when she spoke.

“…no it’s not fine. I’ll fix this Abby I promise, once we get home and get you cleaned up.”

We walked into a silent home I got a bath ready and that I left clothes for abby to change into, walking away from the bathroom in a calmed hurry.

“Mike? Mike.”

He was woken up in a slum his bags lighter from the rest he had.

“What?”

I took a sigh at the attitude he sent my way and I stood in front of the bed, trying to remain patient without yelling, realizing it was a hard time for the both of us…but I just couldn’t handle the situation.

“We’ve gone over this before. I know your working late and your exhausted but I can’t keep leaving work to pick up Abby. I need you Mike, I need you to take care of her.”

“Please don’t give me that bullshit Y/n. I take care of her, she has roof over her head and so do you. I don’t need that, dinner was ready for you by the time you guys came back home. I missed a couple of days so what?”

“Excuse me? Mike are you serious? Do you know how that will hold up in court? Mike! She came into the car soaking wet, exhausted and frustrated that she had to wait for someone to pick her up again. I help you Mike so don’t act like I’m living off you-“

“You act as if Abby’s a chore Y/n, is that helping? Cause you always seem to sound like your complaining-“

The tears of stress that I had held in for so long had fallen, the shock of his words felt like too much to handle

“How dare you?! Don’t you ever say that! I love her Mike. I’m still here. I’m present and I care for her. Do you even realize how lucky you are to have her Mike? Because your starting to treat her like she’s not even in the room and your doing the same to me. It’s not fair! Not to her, and not to me either!”

“I get that but I’m stuck Y/n, all you do is take her from here to there and go to work and come back home to a cooked meal.”

“Why don’t you care? Your just comparing our routines, Mike have you even factored the fact that I clean for you, and that on the days where it’s too hard for you to get up I’ll handle the cooking whenever? You act as though I don’t do my part in the rent. I take care of abby she’s a kid Mike. She doesn’t need you to just give her the bare necessities, she needs love.”

He was holding my heart and squeezing it apart and it had to be fine, because it was him. Mike was the man I had fallen in love with, I gave him my everything. Nausea hit me and I couldn’t stand being in the room with him, I walked away and he hadn’t even followed just mumbling that he was tired.

I rushed away in a hurry, tears falling. I was going to get into my car but I had thrown up when I went to open my door. I have been thrown up a lot lately..my body was always sore, and I’ve been getting my energy drained easily..was I pregnant?

My car was swerving to the nearest pharmacy, my trip led to taking a test in the bathroom, and sobbing holding the positive test in my arms. I’ve never felt so stuck in my life, my relationship was in shambles, I had Abby as my child and another would be an addition to the fire..

I cried my entire way home, shaking and afraid to tell the news…my hands rubbed off the painful tears before I walked in, afraid Abby would be awake watching TV.

Mike walked in a rush breathing heavily,

“I-I thought you weren’t going to come back, Y/n I am so sorry…I’m sorry.”

I walked up to him pulling on his arm to come to our room. The tears flowed again…and I was standing before him, door closed as he watched me with a confused face. I wasn’t one to cry unless I was really hurt by something..

“..im pregnant.” I had spoken the news in a hushed voice emotional and afraid of his reaction

“w-what?”

“i’m pregnant..”

“..no..no..” he sat down with his head between his hands

“please don’t shut me out Mike…we need to talk.”

“Talk about what? What more is there to talk about?”

“We need to talk about us, about abby, what we’re going to do. keep your voice down you’ll wake Abby..”

“Ok well there’s nothing else to talk about your pregnant, we have another mouth to feed.”

“…that’s it?”

“Yea that’s it!”

“why are you yelling at me?”

“Im not yelling at you.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not..my god..alright whatever.”

“You don’t understand how hard this is, this is my body.”

“No I do get it.”

“No you don’t get it. You haven’t been there for us Mike, for our family. You go to work and you barley speak to us.-“

“Our family? This wasn’t a family until two seconds ago Y/n we haven’t spoken in weeks-“

“…Because you haven’t tried! And I’m drowning trying to keep our relationship going!”

“Yea and i get that but we’re struggling to hold everything together and we just got abby as our kid we shouldn’t be having one on the way right now.”

I took a step back turning around to change out of my clothes frustrated with his attitude to the situation

“Ok well, it happened. We have to figure it out.”

“Im not gonna be able to do this Y/n…Between you, abby, and this baby i can’t provide for us…We have to let Abby go.”

“What? You think she’s going to be happy with your aunt? You don’t care about anyone but your fucking self! That’s why I can’t talk to you!”

“I don’t care about no one but my fucking self right now?”

he approached me closer with anger and I pushed him away.

“Fuck you, move!”

I made my attempts to leave as he pulled me in getting in my face holding me close

“We can keep the baby Y/n, we just have to make sacrifices. I need to keep you safe and Abby needs to have a better home.”

My tears fell into his hands and sobs fell as I shook my head at his words.

“Fuck you! You think I’m gonna raise my baby with you? Look at you!”

“What do you mean look at me? I’m here for you-“

“No your not, stop saying that!”

I shoved him again as my heart continued to shatter

“Please Y/n just stay.”

“No…no Mike anything but that..you can’t give up on Abby..please.”

He held me close pulling down to the bed as I sobbed

“Ok..ok we’ll figure something out..I need you Y/n…I love you.”

he was pausing and crying in between as we slowly fell asleep once again..

When it was time to wake up I opened Abby’s door to see her quietly sitting down with tears in her eyes and a packed bag.

“What are you doing baby? What is this? Why are you crying?”

“A-are you going to send me away?”

“What? How could I? Oh no..no, Abby. I would never.”

I sat down beside her pulling her to lay down on my leg as I gently pulled her hair away from her face

“I heard what Mike said about me..”

“you heard..”

i looked up with an ashamed face, frustrated at Mike.

“He didn’t mean it, I promise you he didn’t mean it. Abby I love you, I can’t give you up especially to her..she doesn’t deserve you.”

“…he still said it..”

“i know but he didn’t mean it..I promise.”

i wiped her tears away and let her play, as I prepped breakfast and got ready to leave for work.

It had been a long shift and I was exhausted going back home.

“No Abby, you can’t come to work with me.”

“Please, I want to.”

“N-“

I almost made it past but Abby’s screeching stopped me.

“Y/n!!! Tell Mike to take me!”

“Oh Abby you know he can’t..please just come go to bed I’m exhausted.”

The room grew silent as Mike watchedhow I came in with my work bag and bagged eyes.

“Fine Abby we can go but you have to behave, and Y/n can get rest while we’re gone.”

“…Mike it’s fine, that’s not a good idea, I’ll be-“

“Y/n I got it, just get some rest babe.”

I gave him a kiss walking away calmly but as I waited in I couldn’t help but get a bad feeling…

*💕*

hope you enjoyed!! and i can assure you that Mike would not act like this irl!! I JUST NEED ANGST! :) please be aware that im just starting to come back into writing and trying to find my drive for it again, Thank you!!!

[thatgirlstrawberry]

Sick Surprise - The Honeymoon

In which Y/N and Spencer go on their honeymoon!

Warnings: Fluff, smut!!! Oral (f rec), fingering, unprotected sex, penetrative sex,

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Leaving Eloise for a week was harder than the newlyweds thought it would be. But now, they were at the airport, hand in hand and watching their daughter wave at them through the window of her grandma’s car.

“Do you think we could just catch up to the car?” Y/N asked, biting her lip. Spencer sighed and she rolled her eyes with a smile. “No. We can’t get all sad.” She said. “We have a week with no child. That means, sex, eating all the food we want, walking around naked, sex and oh! More sex.” She nodded proudly. Spencer looked down at her an quirked an eyebrow. “And… spend time with each other, I guess.”

He laughed and they walked into the airport with their luggage and hearts pounding with excitement and love for one another.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

When they reached their hotel room, Y/N literally left her bag in the hallway because she was too excited to carry anything with her. Spencer chuckled and walked in after her, taking her suitcase by the handle and dragging it in.

He didn’t even get a chance to look around before Y/N came out of nowhere and jumped on his back, squealing. He groaned with a laughed and fell forward onto the bed. “Wait, we haven’t even gotten to see the view from the balcony yet!” He laughed as he turned over, Y/N straddling his hips.

“You think the view out there is gonna look better than…” She pulled her shirt over her head and smiled down at him. “This?”

Spencer instantly became mesmerized. “You, my wife, are the most beautiful view in the world.”

She paused. “I’m your wife!” She squealed. She leaned down and placed a slow but passionate kiss on his lips. His hands found their way to her hips and he sighed into her lips.

Her hands gripped his shirt, wanting it off as fast as possible. They broke the kiss long enough for him to sit up and let her take his shirt off, never breaking eye contact. His hot skin against her cold felt exhilarating and she kissed him again. “I’m so glad you married me.” He whispered.

She smiled, her eyes saying the exact same thing he did. The rustling of the bedsheets and their breathing was the only thing in the room as they kissed. “I love you.” He whispered between kisses. “I love—“ She kissed him again. “You.”

She giggled and before she could kiss him again, her phone rang in her back pocket. “I’m ignoring it, don’t worry.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket as she kissed him and turned it off, throwing it somewhere on the bed.

He rolled her over so he was on top and held himself above her. “Good. That’s so good.” He nodded before dipping down to kiss her jaw and neck. Her back arched off of the bed, chest pressing against her husband’s. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she shut her eyes, throwing her head back.

Her phone rang again. “Fuck. What the fuck.” She groaned. She opened her eyes and turned her head saw that it was her mother calling. She grabbed her phone as Spencer sighed and crawled off of her.

“Hello?” Y/N groaned.

“Y/N, honey I’m so sorry but I can’t get Eloise to sleep.”

Y/N bit her lip and looked at the time. “Mom, it’s past ten back where you are.” She heard Eloise crying in the background.

“I’m sorry I didn’t want to have to call you—“

“It’s okay, just let me talk to her.” She shook her head and looked up at Spencer. She heard the phone shuffling and Eloise’s crying get louder.

“Hewo? M-mommy I mith you an’ Spenther.” She coughed through her cries and sniffled. “I wan’ you to come back.” She sobbed.

“I know, baby. Me and Spencer will be back so soon.” Y/N bit her lip.

“I wan’ a story!”

Y/N swallowed. “Ask grandma to read you one, honey. She’s a really good reader.” She said, glancing at Spencer.

“No! I Don’t wan’ her i wan’ Spenther!”

Y/N nodded and closed her eyes . “Okay, Eloisey? He can’t read to you right now.”

Spencer cleared his throat and she looked up at him. “I could read to her. I know every single book she has on her little shelf.” He chuckled.

The woman smiled and bit her lip. “Okay, Spencer is gonna read you a book, which one do you want him to read?”

“If— if you gave a mouse a cookie.” She sniffled on the phone.

She looked at Spencer with a small shrug and he held his hand out for the phone. He took it and Y/N let her sleep fall onto her stomach on the bed.

She closed her eyes and listened to her husband’s voice perfectly recite If You Gave A Mouse A Cookie.

She opened up her eyes and looked at him, smiling into the sheets. “God, you’re so perfect.” She whispered. He didn’t seem to hear her but his eyes slid to hers and he smiled.

She shut her eyes again and inhaled the fresh linen scent of the bed.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.

“I hate the beach.” Spencer spoke quickly. Y/N giggled and sighed. Spencer was lying on a chair and she was lying on a beach towel in the sand. “The sun is really hot and there’s sand in my hair.”

Y/N smiled and propped herself on her elbows. “Do you like my bikini, Spencer?” She asked. It was a black triangle top with white stars all over it and matching bottoms that tied on the sides. Spencer looked over the arm of the chair, mouth agape.

“I no longer hate the beach.” He said, glancing between her face and her chest.

A few minutes later, Y/N was running towards the water and Spencer was going after her. “Baby, wait!” He called.

They spent the rest of the evening in the water, splashing, kissing, laughing— just enjoying themselves as a new married couple.

As they were getting ready to leave, Y/N threw her arms around his neck. “Y’know, we never got to finish what we started earlier.” She smiled, pushing her chest into his.

He ran his hands up and down her arms. “We didn’t?” He furrowed his brows with a smile.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Nope. My mother called.” She laughed. “But, now that she doesn’t need us, we could go back to the room and I can take this off…” She leaned in more to whisper. “And you can do whatever you want to me.” She stood on her toes and nipped at his ear.

He groaned lowly. “Okay, let’s go.”

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Laughing, the two entered their room. Spencer was trying to tickle her sides and she rushed away from him.

She laid on the bed and let her arms fall above her head. Spencer caught up and stood at the edge, his knees against hers. She was still wearing nothing but that tiny tie bikini. “You look so good.” He shook his head, his teeth catching his bottom lip. “And I’ve been waiting to tear this off off of you since I saw you out it on.” He reached forward and flicked the knotted string of her bikini bottom. “It took everything not to undo this in the water.” He smiled.

Y/N bit her lip. “Well, we’re alone now. You can take it off.” She nodded eagerly.

He tilted his head and leaned forward, pushing one knee between her legs but not touching her where she needed him. Instead, his hand trailed up her thigh and on top of the fabric of her swimsuit.

Her lips parted and she looked at his hand and then his face. “Take it off, Spence. Please.” She breathed out.

He didn’t listen. Instead he cupped her over the fabric. She inhaled sharply and shut her eyes. Her back arched off of the bed and she gripped the sheets above her head. “Wait, wait.” She breathed out. “At least take off your shirt, let me look at you.” She begged. He chuckled and unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it to the side.

He leaned down and hovered over her, kissing her lips and rubbed her clit through the bikini. “Mm…” She moaned and bit her lip after he broke the kiss. He moved his lips to her jaw and then towards the base of her neck. She hummed and shut her eyes, leaning back and exposing her neck to his lips. His fingers circled slowly over her and she bent her knees so her legs weren’t hanging off the edge of the bed anymore. He applied more pressure and a whine left her lips.

“I need you.” She whispered underneath the sound of his lips against her. “Please, Spencer we got cock blocked by my mother. Your cock is free now!”

He chuckled into her neck and leaned up. He grabbed the tie part of her top and pulled the string, untying it completely. She sat up a bit, letting him pull it off of her and she laid back down. He bit his lip and glanced between her breasts and her eyes. “How are you this beautiful?” He asked.

Spencer leaned down kissed the skin around her chest, biting gently a few times. She gasped softly and planted her hands in his hair, scratching his scalp gently. He groaned as he kissed lower and lower. Once he got to the bottom of her stomach, he looked up at her. He moved his head to the side, grabbing the string of her bikini bottom with his teeth. He pulled it and it became undone. Y/N watched him do this to the other side and lifted her hips up so he could pull it off.

Once he did, he grabbed her thighs and spread them apart. He kept his eyes on hers as he leaned down and kissed the insides of her thighs teasingly. Her back arched off the bed and she placed her hands in his damp, messy hair. “You know you’re teasing.” She whispered with desperation behind her voice.

“You know you love it.” He bit her softly and she jolted a bit. He decided to give her what she wanted and kissed her right on her bundle of nerves.

Her moans soon filled the room as he went to town, sucking and licking. She gripped his hair between her fingers and pulled which elicited groans from him and sent vibrations to her core.

His hands squeezed her thighs, pulling them impossibly farther apart. He ground his hips against the bed, her moans turning him on even more.

“I’m gonna— holy fuck!” She whined, not able to finish her sentence.

He pulled away for just a moment, mouth and chin glistening. “I know, baby just hold on.” He removed one of his hands from her thighs and teased her entrance with his finger.

The noises she was making only made him more eager to bury himself inside of her. He bit his lip and slowly pushed his finger inside of her. She gasped and let her head fall back against the sheets.

“M-more.” She moaned. He obeyed and pushed another finger inside. Her breaths became heavier and faster and she was a writing mess.

“Come for me, baby.” He nodded. Seconds later, she was doing just that, moaning his name.

Her chest heaved as he removed his fingers and crawled up, putting his body between her legs. He pressed his lips to hers and she hummed. She felt his hard dick pressed against her thigh through his shorts.

She trailed her nails down his sides and hooked her fingers through the loops of his cargo shorts. “Take them off,” She mumbled against his lips. He pulled away from her lips. “Come on, I need it.” She plead.

He bit his lip, watching her squirm underneath him. He unbuckled the belt he wore and tossed it across the room, his shorts following not long after. The sight of him pressed up against his boxers was excited her even more, anticipation built up waiting for the feeling she loved so much.

He adored her smile as she sat up, her fingers creeping beneath the waist band of his boxers. She looked up at him through her lashes as she pulled. He helped her take them the rest of the way off and gently pushed her back onto the bed.

She inhaled and shut her eyes as his body pressed up against her. She moaned and reached down between their bodies, guiding his dick towards her entrance. He pushed in, mouth falling open in sync with Y/N’s.

A gasp left her lips and she pushed her hips up to meet him. When he bottomed out, he stayed still waiting for Y/N to exhale and open her eyes. She clenched around him involuntarily and let out a loud breath. “Holy shit—“ She whined, feeling him slowly stretch her out.

Spencer was barely able to think about anything other than the way her nails were digging into his arms and the the way she felt wrapped around him.

“O-okay, move please.” She breathed out.

He started to snap his hips into hers at a slow pace, head falling back. “You feel so good, honey. Can’t believe I get to feel this for the rest of my life.”

Her back arched off the bed, chest meeting his and she moaned into his shoulder. “F-faster, I need it faster.” She whispered.

He nodded and began to push into her faster. He repositioned and held himself up on his knees, throwing her legs over his and gripping her hips tightly. Her core tightened and she brought her arms up over her face as she moaned loudly, feeling him deeper in the new position. He used one hand to take her arms away from her face.

“I wanna see my beautiful wife.” He groaned feeling her walls clench around him. “Fuck, Y/N!”

She squeezed her eyes shut and jolted when she felt him start to rub her clit. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Feels so good!”

Spencer gripped her hips so hard that there were sure to be bruises in the morning. Not that Y/N minded.

Her chest heaved as he pounded into her. She placed her hands over his and maintained eye contact. She smiled and let out a loud moan, closing her eyes. “I’m so fucking close…” She breathed out. Her whines grew louder and closer together.

Spencer nodded. “Me too, baby. Fuck—“ He leaned down, pressing his body against hers and placing his arms underneath her. She made a noise at the new way her was hitting her cervix and wrapped her arms around him.

“Fuck, Spencer!”

“Wait for me, beautiful.” He whispered in her ear, kissing her ear.

A moment later, the husband and wife reached their climaxes, holding each other closer than ever.

Y/N’s chest heaved and she groaned as Spencer pulled out of her and laid beside her. “I… cannot believe that’s the first time we’ve had sex since the bathroom after the ceremony.”

Spencer chuckled. “It was hard.” He nodded. “You tried to jump me in the bathroom on the airplane, Y/N.”

She squealed with laughter. “Why can I say? I could see your dick through your shorts.” She nodded, tapping the side of her head. “X-ray vision, baby.”

He rolled his eyes and began to speak but there was a knock at the door. Y/N gasped and got up from the bed quickly and headed to the bathroom so she wouldn’t be seen. Spencer stumbled up off of the bed and pulled his shorts on as quickly as possible.

He went to the door and opened it. There was an old man standing. “Hello—“

“I get that you’re a new married man but it’s 10 o’clock and the walls are thin. Pipe down, lover boy.” He grumbled.

Spencer raised his eyebrows and the man slowly shuffled away back to his room. He shut the door and heard Y/N laugh from the bathroom and rolled his eyes with a smile.

She came back out of the bathroom but this time covered (not really) in her lace lingerie. Spencer’s eyes nearly popped out of his head and his jaw slack on the floor. “Holy mother fucking shit.” He read his name that was stitched onto the front of the bottoms. “Holy shit!”

“Oh, did you think we were done, lover boy?” She asked, leaning against the frame of the door.

He swallowed and shook his head. “N-no I just thought—“

“Take those damn shorts off.” She smiled with a roll of her eyes. He did as he was told.

She walked towards him and pushed him back a bit, knees hitting the bed. He sat and looked up at her. “You’re gonna have to undress me again.” She smiled. She sat on his lap, her knees on the bed. She felt his dick pressed against her.

He nodded. “As many times as I have to.” He told her. He thought for a second. “Or… we can keep it on.” He shrugged. “I kind of like the idea of fucking my wife with my name on her.”

She tapped his lips. “Our name, you mean?”

He smiled. “Our name.”

Y/N kissed him slowly, moving her hips a little to create friction. He moaned into her mouth and placed his hands on her ass, pushing her against him every time she moved back. “You’re so fucking sexy.” He husked in between kisses.

She hummed and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pushed herself up so she was hovering and pulled away from his lips. She used one hand to reach between them and pull her underwear to the side. Then, she grabbed his cock and guided it, rubbing it between her folds between pushing it all the way back so it rested at her entrance.

He groaned and resisted the urged to push up into her and let her sink down on him. She pressed her lips against his to muffle the moan and paused, chest heaving. She pulled away from his mouth after a moment. “I will never get tired of this feeling.” He told her.

She smiled and opened her eyes, beginning to rock back and forth slowly. Spencer hissed and leaned forward, resting his head against her chest. He pressed a few kisses on her breasts here and there.

She began to move faster and he wrapped his arms around her waist, biting and kissing her chest.

Her rocking turned into bouncing and she tried her best to be quiet. Spencer, not so much. The feeling of her walls squeezing him in some sort of pattern that he had yet to figure out was driving him mad. 

It was like their bodies were made for each other. Like pieces of a puzzle. She reacted just right for him and vice versa.

She moaned loudly as he pulled her impossibly closer and he began to thrust up into her. “Oh! Fuck!” She nodded, eyes closed.“Just like that, Spence.”

(All I can think of rn is part of your world from the new little mermaid - rev) sorry lol back to the smut

He squeezed her hips as her legs squeezed the outside of his. “Close, baby?” She nodded, not able to form words anymore. He hummed and thrusted faster. “Come for me.”

Her legs shook and she arched her back, freezing in her place. She came hard, squeezing her eyes shut. She then felt Spencer finish inside of her and squeezing her so hard that there were definitely gonna be bruises.

“Fuck, wife… I love you.” He panted.

“I love you too, husband.”

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Hours later, the two were laying in each other’s company, not talking but not sleeping and wrapped up in sheets. She was facing him, playing with his fingers and humming the song that they danced to on their first dance as a married couple.

All Spencer could do was stare at her. She was so unbelievably beautiful. She was ethereal. Majestic. Anything that meant beautiful, she was. Not just on the outside but on the inside as well.

Y/N inhaled deeply and looked up at him. “You creeper. Stop staring you’re making me nervous.”

He chuckled. “Aw, i still make you nervous?” He asked.

“Yes.” She rolled her eyes. She laughed when Spencer tugged her closer to him.

“I never thought I’d get this.”

The words came out of her mouth before she could even think. He furrowed his brows. “What?”

She closed her eyes for a moment. “I just… even with Jake, I never saw myself meeting a man like you, much less getting married.” She looked at him. “And now that I have you…” She pressed her lips together. “I really have no complaints in life. I think it’s perfect now.” She nodded.

“What’s perfect?” He asked.

She smiled. “Everything. My life. My life with you and Eloise. You’re perfect. It’s all perfect.”

Her words brought tears to his eyes. He never thought anyone would think of him as perfect. But now, he was married to that person. “You’re amazing.” He nodded. He sniffled and brought her hand up to kiss it and then he placed his hand on the Sid elf her face, leaning forward and kissing her sweetly.

She wiped a fallen tear with her thumb as they kissed and he smiled into it.

Yes, this was perfect.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

YALL I DID IT

First of all, hi loves! I missed you and I’m soooo sorry but the writers block was real for this one lmao

But, I’m trying to be back now that it’s summer! And guys, I’m a junior in college now!! And it was just my birthday so yay for me!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!

Love ya bunches ❤️❤️❤️

P.S: this is not the end! There are more to come 😉 let me know what else you want to see with the Reid’s!!

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[if-found-return-to-sender]

What a Suprise~ Bill Weasley

Waddling was all I could call the way I was walking.

But I couldn’t see my life being any other way.

An amazing man that loves me just the way I am.

An adopted son.

A loving family that’s there for me no matter what.

And a baby on the way.

But waddling was the least of my worries

There were worse symptoms of being almost nine months pregnant. Like constantly having to pee, having swollen ankles, barely getting any sleep at night, my mood changing at any and all moments, only eating things I crave, and my least favorite becoming nauseous at anything my nose deems disgusting.

But I had to remind myself that it would all be worth it.

To have that little bundle of joy in my arms will make it all worth it.

I had to make the days shorter by keeping me busy to make the final weeks of this pregnancy fly by. And that starts with me getting out of bed.

That was no easy task.

The amount of rolling around and grunting got the man lying next to me to stir awake. “Good morning love. Do you need any help?” Bill asked me.

I grumbled as I asked,” What does it look like hun?”

“It looks like my beautiful wife is trying to get out of bed when we both know your abs are no longer in working order,” he chuckles at me.

“Yeah yeah just help me get up so I can get ready before Teddy wakes up,” I grumble to him.

(Teddy a.k.a Edward Remus Lupin, the son of my late sister Tonks. He was put into my care after the second wizarding war when it was found that Nymph and Remus were gone. I’ve taken care of him ever since then. It's been three years.)

“Okay okay I’m coming,” he said back to me.

Bill pulls me out of our cozy bed and my feet hit the cold floor making me shiver. I stand in front of my husband giving him a kiss before I begin to walk towards the bathroom. I’m stopped before I take my second step by Bill’s hand gently holding my arm.

He carefully spins me around so as not to make me dizzy.

He then gets on his knees so he is level with your sizable bump. He then starts to talk to your bump,” Good morning little one. I just have a few rules for the day for you. One, don’t kick your mother in the ribs, Two, don’t come out early, and last but not least I love you so much, and can’t wait to see you any day now.” He ends the chat with a couple of kisses to my stomach tickling me in the process causing me to laugh. Which in return causes our baby to kick where the kisses were settled.

“Well if your done sweet talking the babe I am going to go and take a shower,” I say as I’m looking down at him.

All he does is look up at me with adoration something I’ve seen from him quite a lot these past weeks.

“What are you staring at?” I ask him.

“I am looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. Just trying to understand how I got so lucky to have someone like you,” he says in amazement.

“I’m still trying to understand what in Merlin’s name I had to do in order to have the most handsome, most loving, and definitely most daring husband to ever step foot on the world,” I respond with the same love and adoration.

He stands up again with a wide smile spread across his face.

He pulls me into a kiss.

He had to lean in order to reach my lips as there was an obstacle in his way.

“Now I’m going to shower,” I say back to him as I walk away.

“I will most likely be downstairs making breakfast when you are done,” he says back to me.

I walk into the bathroom turn on the shower and turn to look in the mirror just looking at myself hoping one day to see some of the same features in my little girl.

Yes, girl.

Bill hasn’t wanted to know so I haven’t told him, but I found out a long time ago.

Keeping the news a secret all to myself.

I walk into the shower as the hot water runs down my body washing away yesterday. I run my hands over my stomach to make sure I don’t miss a single inch of my body.

I go through my routine but still don’t want to get out of the hot water as it has raised my body temperature significantly since I’ve gotten in. The chill of the morning trying to sneak into the hot shower. Only getting out when the tips of my fingers start to wrinkle.

I dry off and put on the plush robe waiting on the back of the bathroom door. Hoping to keep the cool air at bay. Continuing to dry my hair as I wipe the condensation off the mirror in front of me.

While looking at myself I take a moment to take it all in before the day finally begins.

I brush out my hair and move to the closet to get dressed. Picking one of Bill’s sweaters and my trusted leggings. The only thing that still fits.

Just as I finished the exercise of putting my socks on I heard the little groans coming from the room down the hall.

I smile to myself as I make my way to the babbling toddler.

“Good morning Mr. Teddy,” I say to him. I’m only greeted with a barely toothy grin.

The boy in front of me has the face of his father but the eyes and hair of his mother. Finding out that he is a metamorphmagus like his mother was a shock and a relief. I was washing dishes when I heard Teddy sneeze and then heard continuous quacking. I walked into the living room to see him with a duck beak on the front of his face. Quickly calling my mother was the only thing I thought to do. She was over in a heartbeat to teach me how to change him back to his perfect self.

I chuckle at the memory as I make my way over to the blue-haired boy. He smiles at me jumping with excitement at seeing me coming to get him.

“Do you want to get dressed or have breakfast?” I ask picking him up.

He points to the small closet behind us as his answer.

“Alright let’s get you dressed,” I say.

Changing him has always been an easy task for me.

As long as he’s holding my wand. It hasn’t caused any accidents yet, but I know one day it probably will.

I put him down on the floor and told him to get breakfast. He then takes off down the hall the sound of his little feet hitting the floor echoes through the quiet house.

I smile as I follow him down the hall.

When he gets to the stairs he waits for me to catch up with him.

I tell him,” It’s okay you know how to do it.”

He then turns around and begins to slowly descend the stairs. He looks up at me every so often to make sure I’m still following. When he makes it to the bottom of the stairs he slowly stands and turns around taking off toward the kitchen. The smell of breakfast floats to my nose.

I waddle my way to the kitchen doorway in time to hear their conversation.

“Good morning my son. How did you sleep my little tyke?” he says to him.

Teddy babbles for a bit before he says,” Good dada.”

Hearing Teddy say that to him feels wrong but earned. We will tell him of his parents and just how heroic they were. When he can understand why we kept it a secret, but for now we will play the part.

“Oh really and you look so handsome and cozy in your sweater. Did you pick it out or did Mommy?” he says to the boy.

“Me,” he says proudly.

Which is true although I picked out two for him to choose from.

“Well, you definitely made a good choice. Nana Weasley will be overjoyed when she learns you’ve taken a liking to her sweaters,” Will says to Teddy as he tickles his little stomach making Teddy let out a loud giggle.

“See Nana,” Teddy says excitedly.

“We’ll see Nana next weekend okay,” Bill responds.

“Okay,” Teddy says back with a smile on his little face.

I stand in the doorway to the kitchen watching the scene playing out in front of me.

Bill is trying to make pancakes while still holding Teddy in his arms. I take this as my cue to step in and help him with making breakfast. I pour myself a cup of coffee to make my presence known to the man on the other side of the kitchen. I hear music begin to play throughout the cozy room. I turn to see the two of them begin to dance to the music around them.

I giggle at the two of them and move to take over making breakfast for my husband.

I finished making everything and brought it to the little table perfect for my little family. As I finish bringing the last of the food to the table Bill and Teddy dance their way over to me squishing me in between the two of them in slobbery kisses on each cheek.

“Oh thank you my loves,” I laugh to them as they sit down.

Teddy gets out,“ Welcome mama.” I start to put food onto a plate for Teddy so I can cut it up for him. The music still softly going in the background of our meal.

The rest of breakfast is spent talking to Bill about the current case he’s working on, and Teddy occasionally chiming in to tell us his opinions.

After breakfast, I’m at the sink washing the dishes from the morning while humming to the music in the house. Teddy is in the living room playing with his toys. And as I’m cleaning one of the last dishes I feel two arms snake around my waist or what was left of it from behind.

“You look so beautiful today,” he whispers in my ear swaying us slowly.

“Well, you take some of the credit. This is your sweater after all,” I say back to him as I sway with him.

“I can’t take any credit you’re beautiful wearing anything. Especially when wearing nothing,” he responds while biting my ear lobe ever so lightly.

“Thank you my love, but not gonna happen,” I sass at him.

“Okay if not that then could I have this dance with you, my lady?” he asks holding out his hand to me.

I nod my head yes, and take his hand. He pulls me in close to him and we begin to dance. I listen closely and begin to hear the song that’s playing. Our song. As I begin listening the song gets louder as we begin dancing our way through the main level of our home. It makes me remember our wedding. The songs, the dancing, the food, and him, my husband. One of the best days of my life as I’m sure there are more to come especially with our little one on the way.

We finally make it to the living room where Teddy begins to stand to his feet holding his arms out and asking to be held.

I instantly pick him up and we squish him in between us as we continue our dance around the toys in the living room. We begin to sing to the little boy in our arms. Causing him to giggle as he listens to us sing funnily at him.

The song begins to wind down and Bill spins and dips me one last time as the last note holds.

When I come back up I feel it.

The rush of water gushing down my leg.

I look up at Bill with shock all over my face. He’s still laughing with Teddy until he looks at me. His smile was replaced with worry as he instantly started to look me over. His eyes finally looked to the ground to see the puddle around us.

I can see the shock finally register on his face.

All I can do is smile with excitement. We knew it could happen any day and apparently, today was the day.

I took Teddy from Bill’s arms as he raced up the stairs to get our hospital bags.

I looked at Teddy with a smile on my face trying not to worry or freak out the young boy. Bill appears a couple of seconds later with two trunks in his arms.

It’s my turn to look at my husband with love and admiration. My smile is reciprocated by the ginger in front of me. I don’t know what the rest of the day has in store but I’m ready to do it with this man at my side.

I waddle over to Bill and he meets me halfway linking my arm with his we aparate to the burrow to drop off Teddy with Molly and Arthur.

When Molly sees us on the front steps she instantly knows why we're here. She’s already fussing over me before she opens the door.

She takes the excited toddler from my arms and tells us to go the instant Teddy is resting on her hip. As we turn to walk away to aparate to St.Mungos Molly grabs my arm and whispers,” Oh, and good luck my dear. Bring home my second grandbaby.”

I give her a nervous smile as I walk to Bill and we are off.

We arrive at the hospital and my first contraction hits my body.

The second one is not far behind it.

I am put in a wheelchair and bring me to a private room.

I look around at the room and take in the fact that this is where my little girl is going to be brought into the world. A day that feels weird now that it is here.

I'm put in bed and nurses start to fuss over me and my baby making sure that everything is going smoothly. As one of the nurses goes to check me a surge of pain goes through my body as another contraction hits me.

The nurse apologies as she’s done checking me telling me that I’m progressing fast and that I’m at 5 centimeters already.

5 more to go I tell myself.

5 more and I get to see my beautiful girl.

~

Time passed and it felt like an eternity.

But finally, I was ready to push.

I pushed for three hours.

I was exhausted, sad, happy, a whole bunch of emotions. I was about to give up when I heard it. Her cry.

A cry I’ve waited eight and a half months for.

I look over at my husband who’s been letting me squeeze his hand for the last three hours. I see him looking at the baby that is being laid on my chest with that same love and admiration he shows me every day.

She’s already stolen his heart and she’s barely a minute old.

“It’s a girl, my love,” I whisper to him as he puts his face next to mine to get a closer look at the babe.

“A great surprise indeed,” he says with tears all over his face.

After she was cleaned and bundled up snugly she was placed into my arms by the nurse who said,” I’ll give you guys some time to yourself.”

“Thank you,” I smiled towards the nurse.

Now we were alone with our baby.

Our second baby.

“You are the most beautiful girl in the world,” Bill says.

“Are you talking to me or her?” I quip.

“I’m talking to both of you. She looks so much like you already,” he ogles.

“Except for the full head of red hair and that nose. She definitely got those from you. We will have to wait and see what her eye color is, but my money is on blue,” I say to him.

“What are we going to name her my love?” He asks me.

“I think we’ll name her Agnes Nymphdora Weasley. What do you think about that little one?” I ask her.

All I get in return is a smile. Her first smile.

“You, Agnes, will do great and wonderful things and I know that because you will have me and your dad, and your brother at your side at all times. And you don’t even know it yet but you have six uncles and four aunts who love you. And your Nana and Papa Weasley, and your Granny Tonks. And so many more, and guess what they all love you so much. But I will say that your Dad definitely loves you the most I can see it in his eyes. You already have him wrapped around your tiny finger,” she smiles as I say that,” And of course, you know it too you little cheeky thing. You get that from your uncles Fred and George,” I continue to go on and on about your beautifully broken family until I’m fast asleep.

I woke up the next morning to hear Bill talking to someone.

I open my eyes and see Molly and Arthur.

“Where are the kids?” my groggy voice mixed with sleep and worry asks.

“We were waiting until you woke up for them to meet,” Molly says to me,” don’t worry he’s at the house with the rest of the family who are excited and ready to congratulate you.”

“I think I’ll need a day or two before that happens,” I say with a sigh.

“That is just fine my dear. We will be celebrating at the burrow whenever you’re ready to come by,” she says as she kisses me on the cheek,” in the meantime, I’ll go get the little man of the hour.” She then walks out the door with Arthur following close behind.

I then realize that Bill is holding our baby wrapped in multiple blankets. No doubt the work of Molly while I was asleep. I smile as I see him rocking her back and forth while humming our song to her.

I could feel my heart beaming with pride.

Then there is a knock on the door.

“Just a minute,” I say.

Bill and I both know exactly who is behind that door.

He walks over to me and carefully hands me baby Agnes. I get her situated in my arms, and Bill caresses my face in admiration as I do so. He takes the chair he’s been using next to the bed.

“Come in,” I say to the door not too loudly in case I might wake the sleeping baby.

The door slowly opens to reveal Teddy in the arms of Molly as she walks into the room. Arthur follows slowly behind them with Teddy’s security blanket.

“Hi buddy,” I say to him in a soft but excited voice.

All he does is wave to me as he pushes against Molly to be let down. She lets him down so he can come over on his own terms. Before he walks towards us he reaches and grabs his blanket from Arthur.

He then begins to walk around the bed to stand next to the chair Bill is sitting in.

“You want to come up,” Bill says as he reaches out his arms to Teddy.

Teddy nods his little head.

Bill puts him in his lap.

“Hi baby,” I say to him.

“Hi, Mommy,” he says back to me.

“Do you know who this is?” Bill asks him.

“Mommy,” Teddy says.

“That’s right, but who is Mommy holding,” he asks again.

He looks at me taking in everything before him. The bed with the white sheets, me with my hospital gown on, and finally I see his little eyes land on the bundle of blankets in my arms. He then stands up in Bill’s lap trying to get a better look at her.

“Baby!” he says with a lot of excitement. The smile on his face is genuine and infectious.

I became so happy that I felt tears of happiness build behind my eyes.

“Yes that’s right, baby, this is your baby sister,” I say to him.

“Hold, please,” Teddy says to me as he begins to climb out of Bill’s lap and onto the hospital bed. I instantly began moving to make room in my lap for the boy by holding the baby in one arm while he slid his way into my lap.

“Okay, hunny curl your arm to support her head, and then wrap your arm around her… there you go buddy good job,” I instruct my son.

Agnes doesn’t stir one bit as Teddy holds her.

It’s like she knows who he is already.

“What do you think Teddy?” Bill asks.

“Pretty,” he says as he begins to slowly touch her head. I take off her hat so that he can see her full head of red hair, and he begins to stroke it back and forth.

“You’re doing such a good job baby. Being so gentle with her,” I say with a smile across my face.

I look up after hearing the silent sobbing from across the room.

Molly is in tears while Arthur tries to console her.

“Would you like to know what her name is?” I ask the grandparents in front of me.

Molly nods her head slowly while wiping her nose with a handkerchief. Arthur waiting to catch his wife if need be at what’s about to happen.

“Well, we decided to name her Agnes Nymphadora Weasley,” I say proudly to them.

I see the quiet sob leave Molly’s mouth at the name of our first baby girl.

Arthur says to us,” That’s a mighty fine name for your little girl. I’m so proud of both of you. More you than him Y/n.”

“Thank you Arthur that means the world,” I say in thanks.

~ The next day is spent relearning all the steps of having a newborn. The diapers. The feedings. The sleep cycle.

We leave for home after three days in the hospital.

We open our front door to see Molly busying herself with cleaning. While Arthur is in the living room reading out loud to Teddy.

“What’s all this?” I ask as I enter the house.

“Well, we’re here to help you of course,” Molly says matter of factly.

“Thank you,” I say to her.

As I continue to enter the house I begin to hear little feet padding towards us. I then see him come around the corner running straight towards us. I drop to my knees to greet him with the biggest hug possible.

“Hi, buddy. Did you have fun with Nana and Papa?” I ask him.

He nods his head as a response wanting to be held by me. So I picked him up.

“What do you… “ I don’t even get to finish my sentence as a big yawn comes from the small boy. “You wanna take a nap buddy,” I ask him.

“With you please,” he answers.

“Of course buddy. We’ll go upstairs and take a nap together you and me,” I respond.

“And Daddy, and baby,” he pleas.

“Okay, buddy we will go and take a family nap how about that,” I say to him.

He nods his head with sleepy excitement.

“Well, you heard the man. Up you get,” I say to my husband with a tired smile.

He begins to climb the stairs with the sleeping baby girl in his arms. I turn to look at Molly but she’s already shooing me up the stairs to follow my husband. “Okay, Okay I’m going,” I say to her,” thank you again Molly for all you’ve done.”

“No need to thank me, love. I had the help when I had mine thank Merlin. So I’m repaying the favor one grandbaby at a time,” she says back to me.

I smile one last time at her before I walk up the stairs to the bedroom I shared with my husband and for a while our baby Agnes.

I walk into the room to see that Bill is almost asleep, and Agnes is down for the count. I keep Teddy at my side as I slide into the plush bed. As I go to move him I see he’s fast asleep on my shoulder. I lean back onto the headboard and slide down onto my back with Teddy on top of me. I turn my head so I can cuddle into the side of my beautiful husband.

“Thank you,” he says to me out of nowhere.

“What are you thanking me for?” I ask with confusion.

“For giving me this. The life I’ve always wanted. My beautiful children taking a nap with me and my beautiful wife. All I can say to you is Thank you for bringing this life into the world,” he says while pointing at Agnes,” And for bringing him into my life,” he says while pointing at Teddy,” And thank you for choosing me to be the one you spend the rest of the life with,” he finishes with tears in his eyes.

I lean to him and give him the most deeply loving kiss I can.

“I will always choose you, William Weasley,” I say while looking into his eyes,” I will choose you in this life and every lifetime after that. I mean it.”

“And I will choose you in every lifetime as well my love,” he says back to me.

“Now I’m taking a nap and relishing in the quiet before the storm,” I say to him as I close my eyes.

He pecks my cheek and nose one last time before he pulls me into his side to hold me while we all sleep together in the true mark before the rest of our lives.