#and I think it suits the characters in this fic too. their intensity | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

asoiafsworld · 2 years

Text

STAND BY ME.

pairing; aemond targaryen x original female character (alysanne velaryon)

summary; alysanne velaryon, jacaerys velaryon's twin sister and daughter to queen rhaenyra targaryen, has been betrothed to aemond targaryen since she was a little girl and has loved him since then too. king viserys dies however and war breaks out between their families. when alysanne learns of her brother's death caused by the man she loves, she does the only right thing.

warnings; hotd 1x10 spoilers, mentions of stillbirth, mentions and descriptions of self harm, major character death, very sad and painful, alysanne has bad anger issues, and she has psychopathic tendencies, my oc is really a emotional rollercoaster, blood, violence, revenge, sad ending

author's note; this fic is very painful to read at times so i just want to warn once more and its not all about her relationship with aemond, theres a lot of stuff about alysanne with her family too. i was going to make this a reader imagine but i felt that an oc would suit this more since its so angsty and gets pretty violent, i hope u guys still enjoy <3 jacaerys and alysanne are aged up here and are both only two years younger than aemond (jace and alysanne are 18, aemond is 20) and alysanne referrs to daemon as her father but hes not. also i imagine a young jodie comer as alysanne but u can imagine whoever u want! and everything that is written in cursive is a flashback an anything that is only in bold is alysanne's thoughts!! pls tell me what u guys think

masterlist

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"Shh! We need to be quiet!"

Aemond tried to look at her as sternly as possible but couldn't hold on to his giggle as she looked at him as apologetically and sweetly as she could. Before he could think any longer about how beautiful she looked as only the fire in the dungeons illuminated her face, he grabbed her hand and went further down the stairs to the underground room where the skull of Balerion the Black Dread was kept.

Alysanne gasped at the sight and was sure she had never seen a head this big from the dragons that lived still. She was small, a growing girl of four and ten and was definitely dwarfed even more as she stood in front of the skull of a creature that lived not too long ago.

"What a huge skull... He must have crushed people just by laying his head on them! Do you think Vhagar will be so big too one day?"

Aemond smiled at her and cupped her cheek with one hand, softly brushing his thumb over her temple.

"I know she will. And when she is that big, you will be in the skies with her, with me. Right by my side where you belong."

Alysanne smiled shyly, her cheeks red from how sweetly he was holding her and looking at her. She had liked Aemond for so long even though their families were so opposed to each other. To their luck, her grandfather, King Viserys announced on Aemond's eight nameday that they would be betrothed and no one else was delighted except the two of them. She remembered her mother pleading with her father to still wait and to not rush into betrothals and Queen Alicent had said the same but the King would hear none of it. He saw how the two of them spent most of their time with each other after all.

Aemond was closer to her now, his breath on her lips, his hand going from her cheek to holding the back of her head in place. His forehead found its place on hers and even though he had only one eye, it stared at her in intensity and adoration.

"You look beautiful like this... Just the fire that gives me a sight of your incredible, gorgeous face. How do I deserve a betrothed like you? Tell me, what Gods did I please for you to be mine?"

She blushed even more at his words, so sweet and unrelenting in making her see that she was the most beautiful woman that ever lived, in his eyes. She brought up her hand to his cheek, the one that bared his scar. She softly admired how brave it made him look, how it proved that he was the bravest warrior of them all with the scar to prove it.

"You deserve it by simply being you, Aemond. I am yours and you are mine and in due time, we will marry and it will be official. I will be yours as you are mine, now and always."

His heart clenched at her words and he pressed the softest of kisses on her lips, his touch as gentle as if he was holding a flower... His little flower, forever his.

Alysanne's heart feels as it's ripped apart in two. She is confused, she is angry, she is sad but does not know at what or whom. The gods are playing tricks on us, she thinks as she helps her mother in wrapping up her dead little sister. Cruel and selfish tricks.

It does not make sense to her, none of it. Her grandsire dies, the Greens crown a usurper and tell everyone a lie, that the King had wished for Aegon to be King in his last breath and Alysanne and her family sit at Dragonstone, unbeknownst of the horrors that were going on in the capital. She does not understand it, none of it. Does not understand why Aemond is letting them do this, letting them crown anyone else other than her mother... He could never marry Alysanne like this.

Her hands are covered in blood, in her dead sister's and mother's from the wrapping. She does not wish to wash it off, wants to keep it on her hands, fly to King's Landing at this moment and present her bloodied hands to the Queen Dowager and her father. Look at what you have done, she wants to scream. She wants to take the bundled up baby on the table and present it to them, make the bitch of a Queen look at it. Look at how you've killed my sister. My little Visenya.

"Alysanne." She hears her mother's voice clear up the fog of anger in her mind and wonders how many times she had called her already. The princess of eight and ten looks up at her mother and sees the grief and sorrow in her eyes but mostly concern. "My darling, do not let your anger take you over again, it is unneeded at this moment. Come, wash the blood of. We need to... do the burning."

"I do not wish to wash my blood off, mother. I want to smear it in her face and tell her that she deserves death for what she has done. Letting grandsire rot in his place for days before telling anyone he was even dead, killing my sister in cold blood and putting Aegon on the throne. She will pay for this... she will."

Rhaenyra knows she can say nothing to sway her mind at the moment, her only daughter's bloodlust and want for revenge mirroring something that Daemon would probably be proud of. She wonders when this happened, wonders when her own daughter became such a hardened woman, when the love she had for her family turned into protectiveness and when that turned into anger. No one except for Rhaenyra knows that everything Alysanne does is out of love for her family, not even Jacaerys who is the girl's own twin realizes this. She wonders if that anger will be reflected at Aemond too, the only person she holds any love for outside of her family. Alysanne has not uttered a single word of him ever since Rhaenys told them of what had happened.

Alysanne listens to her all the same because she could not be mad at her mother, the woman who loves her so much and lost everything. She may be a bloodthirsty, angry woman but she is still her mother's child, nothing changes that, ever. So she washes the blood off of herself, gets dressed in an all black dress and attends her sister's funeral. She stands next to her brothers and her face remains stone cold but a few tears slip past her cheeks as her sister's tiny, small body burns. She has to breathe in and out through her nose to control her emotions from overboiling and does not know what would happen if she could not control herself.

They stole my mother's crown and her throne. They stole her and my brother's birthright. They stole me of my sweet sister... And for that, the Hightowers will burn, she thinks. Otto, Alicent, Aegon. Otto, Alicent, Aegon. Otto, Alicent, Aegon.

She repeats their names in her head. She would not kill Helaena, the sister wife of the usurper had done no harm to her or her family, just like Aegon's children.

She does not think of Aemond, of what will happen to him, of what she will do about him... or what her father will do to him. She wonders if he's trying to find an excuse in his head for betraying her like this, if he tells himself that him and his brother will make sure her family will be gone before long and force her to marry him... But that is not Aemond's way.

She can not think of Aemond. She does not want to think of Aemond. She still loves Aemond.

They stood on opposing sides of the throne room, so close yet so far away. Aemond studied her closely, how much taller she had grown, how her beauty could not match that of a single lady in the Seven Kingdoms. The sun was she to him, feeling as if he could stand and live with her in his presence. The air was she to him, needing her to breathe and to calm himself down when his mind was plagued by his demons once more. Life was she to him, something worth fighting for and the sole reason he put up with her rather annoying family.

Alysanne could tell that her betrothed had eyes for no one but her, he was not listening to the Hand when he sat the throne, nor did he look away from her when the King marched up to his throne and settled matters. She only stole a few glances at him but had to hide her smile at the way he did not stop staring at her all the same. To him, none of what was happening mattered... He only cared about meeting his lovely betrothed again.

To her however, it was not so unimportant. Her brother's legitimacy was being questioned and ever since the accident at Driftmark where her brother had taken her betrothed's eye, tensions were as high as ever between the two families. She remembered that night, when she was called upon from her bed and had to look at her brothers' bloodied faces and wondered how foolish they could have been to do something like that. If she thought back on it, it was probably the moment that made her into the cold, hardened woman that she became over the years, realizing that no one but her family would be there for her, care for her and protect her... and she strived to do the same for them.

Aemond only ripped his eyes away from her when Daemon sliced Dark Sister through Vaemond, a move that shocked most people in the throne room. She was glad to see him gone and dead for calling her brothers bastards and her mother a whore... he deserved it.

Everyone in the throne room left as the matter was settled. Lucerys would inherit Driftmark as was his birthright and the young princess was glad of it because she would not have the Hightower snakes get their way, no matter what it was.

She had been told that the King had requested a dinner with the entire family and she wondered how well that would pass but Alysanne got ready for it nonetheless. She wore a beautiful black and red gown, accentuated with the dragon sigil of her mother's house that she had always been proud of. After the handmaidens had left, there was a knock on the door and when she turned around, it was Aemond entering through the door.

She looked at him with wide eyes and walked up to him, pulling him into the room by his arm and closing the doors before anyone else could see him. Her mind was reeling from where she had touched Aemond's skin and she hoped that the effect he had on her was not so apparent to him as she turned around. But Aemond clearly did not care for not showing his feelings as he caged her against the door, so close to her again like the first and last time they kissed. His hand came up to hold her chin and made her look up at him and oh, how the touch burned under his gentle fingers.

"Tell me, my little flower, has anything changed between us?" Alysanne knew that he did not wish to show his insecurity to her but it was reflected in his voice all the same, sounding scared of her feelings not being the same as they were before. She knew that he still very clearly felt just like four years ago when they had last seen each other, his love just as she always knew it... Resistant, powerful and undying.

"Well, I have changed in the years since we last met. I am a woman grown now, did you know? My nameday was a few moons ago. I have grown colder, harder and stronger in every way. It may be that even my heart has turned to ice for I do not wish for anyone in my company except the people I love." Alysanne leaned closer to him, their lips almost touching, the distance between them able to be closed in less than a second.

"But whatever part of my heart holds it's love for you has clearly not turned into ice... because I look at you and see you standing in front of me so closely, see you looking at me like you'll never love someone like you'll love me. And I realize that yes, I do love you still, have loved you for so many years and might never love anyone else except for you. I do not believe I could ever be with another man."

Aemond did not show it but she saw the relief take over his body, his shoulders releasing it's tension and he sighed deeply, closed his eye and leaned his forehead against hers. She placed a small, featherlight kiss on his lips and furrowed her eyebrows at how little it did to satisfy her. She tried to press her lips to his again but he held her back with a thumb on her lips and his eye opened again, looking at her with hunger and resistance.

"I wish to kiss you until you are breathless and beg me for more but we can not, my love. If we do, I could not stop and control myself from doing something so sinful that would have our mothers marry us swiftly in the sept tomorrow. Which of course, I would not oppose to but I shall not risk things with you. I want to do it properly, have a feast for us and have everyone in Westeros celebrate our union. With you, I will do things right. You deserve no less, my dragon."

Alysanne hated how her heart swelled at his words, hated how he spoke so gently and softly with her like he had when they were children. When she was a different woman, a girl still, she would have embraced and loved the way he made her feel and how he confessed his love for her and his wish to marry. But as it was, Alysanne was a changed woman and hated that she had so long ago fallen for a man that she was supposed to hate... One day, war would break out and they would be on opposite sides.

She did not have to think about it much longer as Aemond had to leave to get ready for the dinner himself. He pressed a small kiss to her lips that stirred things in her heart that she could not explain, a turmoil of emotions in her heart and mind after every word and every kiss of his lips. She composed herself and decided to visit her sickly grandsire since he had asked her to come see him before they would have dinner when she was there with her mother, father and siblings this morning.

Alysanne always had a special bond with King Viserys. It was widely known that Rhaenyra was his favorite child and that he loved her very dearly and therefore loved her grandchildren as well. When he held Jacaerys and Alysanne for the first time in his arms, he cried and blessed them both, her mother had told her. When she was a child and still lived in the Red Keep, she had often played with him, let him help her learn to read and write. It pained her to see him so weak and in pain but she would still go to see him, simply because she loved him so dearly.

She entered his chambers just as he had seemingly gotten ready dressing with the help of maids and servants. He seemed clearer in his state of mind than he was before, a crooked smile on his lips as he saw her entering. The maids and servants left them and Alysanne sat down next to her grandsire in front of the fire place. He looked at her lovingly and gently grabbed her hand, his grip weak but still full of adoration for his oldest granddaughter.

"My dearest Alysanne, my pride and joy. I know they say that we should not pick favorites, in children or grandchildren... but I think you know that I have loved you so much since you were placed in my arms, as if it was Rhaenyra put in my arms all over again. Because I love you so dearly, I need to ask you this and want to give you a choice, something that I sadly could not do for Rhaenyra."

The King spoke slowly but he still commanded presence even in his weakly state. Alysanne wanted to cry at how he looked, so breakable and ill, as if he could die at this very moment but she continued to listen to him attentively. He looked up with the one eye that was visible and she saw all the love he held for her, just like when she was a little girl.

"Alysanne, please be truthful when you answer me this. Do you love Aemond?"

Alysanne's breath hitched at the question and she felt a lump so heavy in her throat that the words would not come out at first. She knew that the only reason for his question was to possibly confirm a future marriage and maybe even set a loose date for a wedding and knew that if she said no, her grandfather would not hesitate in calling the marriage off. It was his hope for Alysanne to marry Aemond so that an inevitable conflict in the future could be avoided... besides that, Aemond had demanded since Alysanne's most recent nameday to plan the wedding. She knew that if she said no, her parents and brothers would be more than pleased and happy about it. She knew that if she said no, she could avoid having to live with the awful, other side of her family. She knew that if she said no, she would avoid the inner turmoil inside her that told her that she could not love, that she was too cold and unloving for marriage.

"Yes."

Alysanne knew of the dangers that would come if she said yes. She did it anyway.

Alysanne had claimed the Cannibal at the mere age of four and ten to everyone's great surprise. When her, Jace and her younger siblings were born, they had all received dragon eggs from Syrax as their mother wanted her children to have a lifelong bond with their dragons as well. Jace, Luke and Joffrey's eggs all hatched and all three of them, respectively, had Vermax, Arrax and Tyraxes as their bonded dragons. Alysanne's egg however had turned into stone when she was still a babe and in that entire time, Syrax did not hatch more eggs for the young princess to claim.

To be truthful, Alysanne did not care much for having a dragon. The bond and the care for a dragon was not something she deemed herself to have and having three brothers who rode dragons was surely enough in the family. However, after the incident at Driftmark, Alysanne changed her mind about it. She loved Aemond back then, knew he would not hurt her but him having Vhagar would make things difficult for her in the future, she knew that.

She had thought about claiming Sea Smoke whilst she was still at Driftmark then but knew that she needed a dragon that would match Vhagar not just in fiercness but in size. So when she was back at Dragonstone, she tried her luck first with Silverwing, the dragon that ironically belonged to her namesake once before and followed the advice of the Dragonkeepers at Dragonstone. Alysanne had tried to claim her in a duration of many moons but the Dragonkeepers deemed it a hopeless cause. She tried Vermithor next, the largest unclaimed dragon that had been ridden before by the Old King, Jaehaerys I. She tried to claim him for almost a year, sang to him in Valyrian as he liked it, didn't show her fear in front of him. The Dragonkeepers decided to observe her the last time that she went to tell her what she was doing wrong.

"You are too fierce for them, my princess. Dragons can feel our emotions, our feelings and our true ambitions and they bond with whoever they match best with. And I'm sorry to say it, my princess but you are simply too angry for them, even for Vermithor."

She was frustrated at that and wondered how she was ever supposed to have a dragon when she remembered the three wild dragons that still resided on Dragonstone that were never claimed by anyone. Surely, I must be angry enough for them, she thinks. One of them has to be as hateful and angry as me.

The first two wild dragons that she came across in the more abandoned areas of Dragonstone, Grey Ghost and Sheepstealer fled her as soon as she came closer, there was no real chance at getting close to them which disappointed her greatly. She was in all seriousness not considering to approach the Cannibal so she just wanted to leave the dragon be that was feasting on a poor animal just in her line of sight. The beast however had other plans for her, letting off of the dead animal and focusing on her and coming closer at a speed that she did not expect. He stopped right in front of her and his eyes studied her closely, circling her from left to right as if asessing if she was worth to be eaten. She was not scared however and only looked him in his eyes bravely. After a few more minutes, he stopped and gave her a nudge with its big head. From that day on, she understood what was meant with that bond, knew that he had assessed her and let her claim him because she matched his anger

The Cannibal was overall the second largest dragon that still lived but the size difference between this dragon and Vhagar was so small that most people assumed that they were the same size. Besides, the Cannibal was suprisingly quick, in the sky and on the ground which was an advantage against Vhagar who, due to her oldness, had become rather slow.

Neverthless, it was a miracle that the beast had accepted Alysanne as it's first ever rider, Alysanne, who was only four and ten and still a tiny girl, rode the second largest dragon in the world and a wild dragon at that, the first one to tame it. She was of course scolded greatly for it by her mother but Daemon could only look at her proudly.

It was ironic, really. Alysanne was scolded all night by her mother who kept asking her why she did it, why she was so obsessed with having a dragon, one that was impossible to claim and terrifying as well. To prepare for war, she thought. To prepare for a war to defend you and my family. A war I have been preparing for since I was a child.

Holding council is truly a dreadful thing. Counting out who would support their side, who would hold honor their oaths given to her mother many years ago and which dragons could fight for their side.

"My prince, we may be in the lead with dragons but Prince Aemond still possesses the largest dragon alive. It will be a hard task to defeat Vhagar." The other lords around the table seem to agree and she cuts Daemon off before he can reply.

"Leave Vhagar to me, my lord. I'm sure that me and Cannibal can handle her." The table falls into silence at that and she sees from the corners of her eye that her mother and father are not agreed on that statement. The silence is interrupted by Ser Erryk who informs the council that a ship from the Greens had been seen on the shores and the council room is quickly cleared, leaving only Alysanne, Jace and Luke in the room.

She continues to assess the table and what allies they have when Luke places his hand on hers on the table. She looks over at him and sees that he looks concerned for her, his hand soft and warm on hers and so small. She pulls her hand out and places it on top of his, softly brushing her thumb over his. Sadly, her change in personality had also affected her relationships with her brothers. She spent so much time training Cannibal for possible fights with other dragons and herself spent more time into training with a sword as well. Still, she never acts cold towards them, never lashes her anger out at them because she lives for them and for the affection and love she receives from them. Luke still looks concerned but doesn't voice his worries. Instead, Jace does.

"Alysanne... If you mean to 'take care' of Vhagar, you mean to kill her... But for that, you will need to kill Aemond too."

She knew that it was exactly what all the lords around the table had questioned because Aemond's affections and love for his long time betrothed were so well known by everyone in the realm. She sighs deeply and knows deep down in her heart that it rebels at the thought of having to kill her one true love, the one man she loves. She hides her turmoil and problems under a practiced mask and puts on a smile that fools Luke and almost would have fooled Jacaerys. She softly grabs his hand and holds it tightly, needing to feel her twins' presence next to her.

"Don't worry about me, brothers. We aren't officially at war yet but when it comes to it, I will do what I must to defend us and to fight for our mother's and your birthright."

"I may not live for much longer... but I wish for one last thing before I might leave this earth forever." The King looks at Aemond and then at Alysanne at the dinner table with something that she assumed was a smile on his face. She realized then that this was it, that she had sealed her fate forever with the words she had uttered just hours ago in his chambers... She just didn't know that it would happen so soon.

"To mend the estrangement between our families, I have decided that Prince Aemond and Princess Alysanne shall be married to each other swiftly and soon, possibly after Rhaenyra gives birth. Then, we will celebrate the biggest wedding the Seven Kingdoms have ever seen. Then the gods can happily take me away."

The news of the wedding was a shock for everyone at the table and Alysanne swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat for she could feel the stares from both sides. Pretty much everyone either forgot the betrothal or opted to ignore it, knowing it still existed but not truly thinking of what would further happen with it. So to hear the King's words made both of her parents look at her in confusion and shock and Jace was almost uncontrollable with anger, wanting to punch the one eyed Prince right in his face. Before anything further could escalate, Aemond stood up with his cup in his hand, looking right at Alysanne who only had her cold gaze on the table.

"I wish to toast to my betrothed and soon enough, my wife. It has been twelve years since we were engaged and throughout our shared youth, you didn't fail to make me fall in love with you. Every time that I have seen you since only further proves that my love for you never dwindled or disappeared but simply resurfaced when I saw your evergrowing beauty through the years. I have loved you for years and will continue to love you until my dying breath. To You, my love."

Even though Alysanne felt sick at the looks that her family was giving her, she still had a tiny smile on her face and looked at Aemond lovingly, unable to hold her stoic, cold expression any longer. He smiled at her, genuinely and she wished he didn't.

Nothing in this world was more difficult for Alysanne than loving Aemond Targaryen.

Her father is furious as he comes back from their meeting with Otto Hightower, her mother as unreadable as ever. Alysanne thinks it was a good idea that she did not come for she would have ripped him apart, whether her mother commanded otherwise or not. The Council is only reconvened for a few moments before everyone is told to leave the room except for Alysanne, Jacaerys and Lucerys. The oldest daughter watches Daemon walk up and down the fireplace as he thinks hard about something she does not know. Her mother is across from her on the other side of the table, her brothers are next to her.

"Otto Hightower also mentioned your promised betrothal to Aemond. He said that we should go through with it and that it would mend the drift between our families and prevent war."

Alysanne's mind reels as she thinks about those words and wonders if a simple marriage between a second son and an eldest daughter would really mend anything... her mind immediately answers her, clear and aggressive. She does not believe she can marry Aemond with how he had betrayed her. Suddenly, Daemon turns around and looks at Alysanne, almost menacingly.

"If you had never said a single word to my brother no one would care for this stupid betrothal anymore. But you had to go through with it, didn't you? Why, because you love Aemond so much? Because you wanted to be with him? I am happy to know that you never will. You were stupid to think that you could ever marry him when you know the positions our families stand at. I don't know if you even care about your family when you were willing to marry your own enemy."

His fury is one that she had not ever seen directed at her and his words sting, just like he wants them to. Daemon has been a father to Alysanne ever since he had married her mother and he had never said anything so vile and hurtful to her. Her mother looks at him in a certain way that is silently trying to tell him to stop, to tone it down but he does not listen and keeps staring at her with anger that makes her furious in return.

"Yes, I know it was stupid, of course I knew! I knew what could happen, what the dangers were to wanting to marry him but believe it or not, at some point, I did love him. It was stupid and I let him love me and that was even stupider. But don't ever tell me that I do not care for this family, Daemon. Do not act as if that is true when you know it isn't."

"How would I know? You can not even outright say that you will kill him when you eventually face him and Vhagar with Cannibal! No, I do not believe you care for your family, Alysanne, not with the way you behave."

She sees her mother's mouth form words, something that looks like she's saying stop but it is too late for Alysanne is as angry and mad as anyone could ever be. She's hurt, she's sad, she's furious. In this moment, she feels like driving a sword through Daemon's chest.

"You liar! I have always cared for my family! Every single moment of my life, I have wanted to protect my family! Ever since Aemond lost his eye at Driftmark I have known and understood the consequences of the separation between our families. Why do you think I wanted a dragon the moment we got back? Why do you think I spent two years trying to claim and bond to dragons? Why do you think that, out of all the wild dragons, I claimed Cannibal? Because I knew none of the other ones stood a chance against Vhagar! Why do you think I have been obsessed with learning how to fight with a sword? Why do you think I always worry about where my brothers and sisters are? Because I have been preparing for this war since I was a child! I have been scared of it, of what would happen to my family and about what would happen to Aemond, yes, I worried over him because I love him. But don't ever tell me that I do not care for my family when I know deep down in my heart that I would kill Aemond the moment I get my hands on him. Don't ever make assumptions and accusations like that ever again, Daemon."

Alysanne is screaming at him in fury and her hands are shaking from how angry she feels. She starts crying at some point too but she does not care and later on realizes that confessing all her insecurities and worries to her family is an awful thing. Her grip on the table makes her feel like it will break apart soon and she feels like she will break apart in a similar way. She knows her brothers are staring at her in shock next to her, her mother looks at her with concern and her father remains unreadable. Before anything else can be said, she storms away from the painted table and out of the room, furiously wiping her tears away as if they were poison to her.

She hears her mother calling after her but no one follows her which she deems as good. It's good, she should be alone. She loves to be alone. She needs to be alone. She does not want to be alone.

Anger and sadness rage inside her in a tandem and she keeps having to stop herself from throwing a punch at the wall just so she would be rid of this agonizing feeling. She hears a distant roar that echoes out, Cannibal feeling her emotions through the bond and most likely trying to pick a fight with one of the other dragons now. With this fury inside her and Cannibal, she thinks she could burn King's Landing down at this very moment.

She walks back to her chambers quickly to prevent herself from actually going to Cannibal's nest and take off with him. Once she is inside her room, she practices the calming breathing techniques that the Maestar had taught her. Breathe in, hold, breathe out. Breathe in, hold, breathe out.

She feels like it works although she is never so sure because her rage never truly leaves her, only retreats and waits to come back in the worst possible times. She walks around in her room, closing her eyes and wills herself to be normal, be normal, be fucking normal.

She hears the door open behind her and it's Jace. She does not say anything as he comes closer to her and stops right in front of her, his face etched in concern and love. She wonders what he possibly could love about her. He closes the distance between them and takes her in his arms, holding her close and hugging her tightly like he used to when they were small. She hugs him back and wonders how long it has been since she hugged her own twin because her heart aches at how much she missed this. Her face is buried in his neck and she smells his scent on him, undeniably her twin. She wishes she would cry in his arms and tell him that she's sorry but she doesn't.

He breaks away from their hug and stares into her eyes. She wonders if he can see how broken she truly is, how incredibly awful and terrible she is at her core but she does not think of it, not now. Maybe in the dead of the night under the covers when she can cry herself to sleep. She takes Jacaerys's face into her hands and hopes to make him understand how she feels.

"Everything I have done... Claiming Cannibal, learning how to fight, closing myself off to anyone who is not my family... I have done this for mother and for her birthright because I knew that someday, we would go to war and have to fight for it and we have arrived at that day. But I want you to know that by extension, I do not only do this for mother but for you too. I believe in you, Jacaerys. Your reign over the Kingdom will be peaceful and good because you are a kind man and have learned all your life how to rule, unlike Aegon. I will breathe, live and die to put mother and you on the Iron Throne. I swear by this, nothing will ever change that, not even Aemond."

Alysanne sees his eyes gather with tears and she wonders if her brother knows that she would really do anything for him to have his birthright, which was promised to him all his life. His hands hold her wrists and his tears fall as if a waterfall had opened and she tries to control her emotions so she won't cry. He is taller than her but she goes up on her toes and plants a soft kiss on his forehead and wipes the tears from his face. She holds onto him so dearly, so tightly because she's scared of losing him, scared of what will happen during the war. People die so quickly and easily and her heart aches at the thought of having to lose a single person in her family... Mother, Father, Jace, Luke, Joffrey, Baela, Rhaena, Aegon, Viserys. Nothing can happen to them. Nothing, not ever.

"I will make sure you will sit on the throne after our mother, trust this, Jace. I will forever be by your side."

"I know you are worried about our families but please, set it aside for now. I just want to be with you and not worry about their stupid problems for once."

Alysanne continued to stare into the fireplace, hoping for an answer to her worries and fears. She basked in the closeness she was enjoying with Aemond, his arm around her and her head on his shoulder, leaning onto him. She played with the string of his shirt as she contemplated on anything and everything, whatever that was.

"The reason I worry is because they hate each other. I don't know how this will work out... But at least it is set in stone now. Only a few moons until we are to be married... It doesn't feel real."

His hand was so gentle as it went through her hair, so loving and caring, attributes that no one would ever think of Aemond. No one but Alysanne. She wondered if she was cursed for it in the end, if her love for Aemond would be ill-placed and she wanted to forget about it just now. She was in the arms of the man she loved, a man she maybe should not be marrying but she could worry about that later. She broke herself away from her cozy place only to sit on his lap, her legs on either side of his body and she looked at him with nothing but love. He looked down at where Alysanne was sitting on his thigh and looked back up again, the smallest smile on his lips.

Alysanne reached up and took the eyepatch off to reveal the beautiful blue sapphire that was in the place of his eye. She brushed over his scarred cheek and studied his hidden eye closely, Aemond was not phased by this in any way. He liked that Alysanne did not feel uncomfortable about seeing him without the eyepatch and his heart clenched once more at how carefully she was touching him. She was everything to him, his beautiful Alysanne, his perfect girl, the sun to his moon. He wished to have her in his arms forever like this. She studied the years old scar as if it would rip open and tell her all of Aemond's secrets and thoughts.

"Don't worry. I'll get back at your brother for this one day."

She glared at him but didn't say anything since he laughed right after and it made her heart skip. He brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear and held one side of her face with his hand. He knew that many thought of her as a brute, cold woman but she was never like that to him, always so soft and gentle and he wished he could keep her right here forever, in his arms, until the world crashed and burned around them.

He knew it would not bother them. They would be happy together, for the rest of their days.

Alysanne hates it, she lets everyone know by making a show of protesting it. She tells her mother that it's foolish to send Jacaerys and Lucerys away to be messengers, that the ravens would be enough, that she could go to the Vale, Winterfell and Storm's End to deliver the messages on Cannibal. Her mother immediately renounces that idea, telling her that sending Cannibal and her would send the wrong message to these lords. She would remain at Dragonstone with her and father to continue plans and be present at the council.

The nervousness strikes her, her worry for her brothers immense and unrelenting. She stands by their dragons as they swear to not act as warriors on their journeys but as messengers. Alysanne knows they will be fine because they have to be. They have no other choice but to come back to her safe and sound.

They leave mother with one last hug and approach her now as they are about to fly off. She is clearly worried and nervous as they come closer and Jace is the first to hug her, holding her close just like last time. She closes her eyes at how familiar it feels to be held by him and presses him close. She leaves a small kiss on his cheek before they part and she holds onto his shoulders, wondering if she can keep him here if she holds on strongly enough. He sees the worry in his twin's eyes and squeezes her shoulder.

"I will come back, sister, do not worry."

Alysanne thinks he's foolish for telling her not to worry but lets him leap onto Vermax either way. She is then faced with Luke who looks up at her with wide, scared eyes from the nest of brown locks on his head. Alysanne's heart hurts at how small he looks and she wants to pick him up like she used to when they were younger and hide him in the castle, wrap him in a blanket and never let him see the horrors of the world. He is almost as tall as her and it frightens her that her younger brother is growing up so quickly. She never gave him permission for that. She cups his small face in her hands and wants to cry at how much more it dwarfs him, so small and yet so brave to fly to Storm's End all on his own.

"My little brother, I'll miss you but you'll be back in no time anyway. Either way, be careful. I wish I could go instead but maybe I can secretly follow after you on Cannibal."

Luke lets out a small laugh at that and smiles at her, his nervousness not so bad now. "I think mother would kill you if you did."

Alysanne smiles at that too and agrees. She ruffles his pretty locks and leans down to be closer to him and kisses his forehead as gently as ever. He had always loved when his elder sister was sweet to him, always felt safe and secure with her. Luke then turns to approach his dragon but comes running back just a few seconds later and hugs Alysanne tightly.

"Don't blame yourself for Aemond. It's alright for you to love him, you can't choose over it but please don't blame yourself, sister. I know what you have done for us and I'm happy that you're my sister and protect me from everything. I love you, Alysanne."

The princess is startled by his words but she smiles at them nonetheless, her heart bursting at how sweet her brother is. Her smart boy, her little Luke.

"I love you too, sweet boy. Don't worry about me, you make sure that you come back safely to me."

My dearest Alysanne,

it has been only a day since you left but I miss you so terribly already. I hope you arrive safely at Dragonstone and think of me as much as I think of you. Soon we will be wed and everyone will see that we are bound and meant to be together, in the eyes of god and men.

It almost pains me physically to not have you by my side now, to hold you close to me and to let you see me as I am. There is no one in the Seven Kingdoms that I have ever met that has made me feel like you do. There is no one in the Known World, living or dead, that will ever enthrall me like you. I could not explain it, can not tell you why I love you so much, just that I do. I am yours and you are mine until the end of our days. I wish to get on Vhagar and fly after you and Cannibal to Dragonstone just so I can be with you, hold your hands, your face, tell you that my heart desires no one but you and that you will forever have me trapped, that I chase you like the moon chases the sun, forever.

I hope to meet up at our spot soon. The little island will always be there and I will be there too, waiting for you.

I love you. Now and always.

Forever yours, Aemond

She hates him. Now and always.

She doesn't believe it when she's told, only shakes her head when her mother comes into her room, tears all over her face. She tells him that Lucerys had died, attacked by another dragon. Her mother is silent when Alysanne asks which dragon and who it was. Did it matter? She does not believe her anyway because it's not true. Lucerys is still alive, just on his way back from Storm's End.

She's completely still as her mother tells her that it was Vhagar who had attacked and killed him. She doesn't move, doesn't breathe, doesn't see anything but red. She did not believe it because who would hurt her Luke like this? Who? Her sweet little brother who was only a child, a little boy still so young and unaware of the horrors of war. But now she believes it because she sees the way her mother continues to sob and cry.

Alysanne believes it now.

I'll get back at your brother for this one day.

A loud dragon roar is heard outside, Cannibal is so loud that it almost deafens her. It must have been heard to King's Landing.

Good, she thinks. Let them hear the roar of a dragon.

She wants to throw the chair she leans on at the wall, wants to take her sword and break her bed with it, wants to scream and pull her hair and bash her head on the ground and punch herself and punch her fist at the wall until it breaks-

She feels arms envelop her and it's her mother that had been crying so bitterly at the loss of her son, holding her close, so close because she's scared of losing her. Alysanne's mind swallows her anger automatically with her mother so close in her vicinity. She can not be violent towards her mother, she would rather die. Maybe her mother senses that she's feeling awful and that she wants to hurt herself to make the pain go away and hugs her so she won't. Alysanne doesn't know. She holds onto her mother either way, like a child she wails in her arms and screams for him. She screams for Lucerys to come back, she doesn't understand why he's not coming and running to her at her distress, doesn't understand that the little brother she held in her arms and kissed on his forehead just hours ago was dead.

The Gods play tricks on her indeed.

Her mother leaves her alone a little while later at her request and Alysanne goes to Lucerys' room because maybe he'll be hiding somewhere, waiting for Alysanne to find him. She looks around the room and wonders how it can suddenly feel so empty, so void as if no one lived here anymore. She takes a few more steps into the room, looks at the strewn and messy books on his study table and remembers that she told him once to keep his mess organized. He never listened to her.

He'll never listen to her ever again.

Her eyes go over his bed and she spots a small plush toy that she knows all too well. She approaches the bed and takes it in her hands, almost feeling like it will dissolve when she picks it up. She had made it for him, years ago when she still had lessons with a septa, she learned how to make these small plush toys. When she was young, she had made one for each of her brothers and made them look like their dragons. She sits there with a toy version of Arrax and her heart hurts, screams, burns like a wildfire. Their bodies are gone, she realizes. Lucerys and Arrax are both lost somewhere in the sea. They can not even be burned.

Another loud, angry roar is heard from Cannibal. She's never heard him sound this angry.

She's never been this angry.

She puts the plush toy back and swiftly walks out of the room, her face stone cold as she marches to her room. All she takes is her sword and small dagger, nothing to protect her from the cold.

Good, she thinks. I shall feel what Lucerys felt when he died. Cold, scared and frightened.

She passes guards as she makes her way outside but they pay her no mind and pass by her quickly because they are scared of Cannibal's roars and know that he is only so loud because of her anger. Her dragon is already perched right outside of the gates. He looks as black and dreadful and menacing as ever, his roars still sounding all over Dragonstone. The guards that stand outside are terrified, not willing to get any closer to him but Alysanne does not care. She approaches him and climbs onto his back, the huge dragon is not at all phased by this.

As soon as she is in her saddle the dragon shouts out another menacing roar and takes off, not having to listen to his rider's orders. Alysanne believes he can read her mind and knows where to go without her having to say anything. She loves him for it.

It's a short flight to the island that they called theirs, somewhere in the middle in between King's Landing and Dragonstone. It was just large enough for Vhagar and Cannibal to reside on and for Aemond and Alysanne to have time for themselves when they could.

Yes, she thinks. We'll be by ourselves with no one to hear his or Vhagar's screams and roars.

She does not know for sure if he is there but behold the gods, he is. She spots the large dragon figure on the island and a figure of white long hair in black clothes sitting on the beach. His head is downcast when she comes closer but he does not raise his head even though Cannibal is more than loud. He lands her a safe distance away from Vhagar, the older dragon staying at her spot with her snout next to Aemond. Alysanne gets off of Cannibal and approaches Aemond who is crying into his hands. She doesn't concern herself with it, only pulls her sword out towards him and the sound of the metal finally makes him turn his head. He looks horrified at who's standing in front of him but Alysanne remains cold, stoic, hard. His tear streaked face and his tired, sorrowful expression do not hurt her.

He is frantic to come closer and she lets him but only until the tip of her sword touches his chest. He looks at her beggingly but she only shakes her head. He feels cold and awful at the empty eyes she's looking at him with and it seems to terrify him that she held no love for him in her eyes. Before he can say anything, she cuts him off.

"I thought about killing Aegon first, you know? An eye for an eye, a brother for a brother. That's what all this was about after all. But then I realized that you do not love Aegon nearly as much as I love Lucerys. In fact, if I killed him, you would be better off since the crown would fall to you, his children are still so little after all. Then I thought and thought about whose death would pain you as much as Luke's pains me... That's why I thought of killing myself in front of you."

Aemond looks horrified at her words and does not believe that this is really his Alysanne. He had never, ever felt any of the anger or animosity she held inside of her directed to him so this hurts him deeply, cuts his heart in half so painfully. He shakes his head at her word and falls on his knees, powerless and defeated by the murder he had done and by the hatred of the woman he loves.

"Please, Alysanne, I beg you, do not hurt yourself. Please, I'm sorry, I swear it was an accident. I lost control of Vhagar, I didn't mean to do it! I never wanted to kill him, I just wanted his eye! Please, you have to believe me, please, I will do anything for you, please don't hate me."

Aemond sobs and cries like she did earlier and it satisfies her to know that he is in pain. She does not think that he deserves to cry like this just because she wants to hurt him. She lost a brother, he only lost his love. Unfortunately however, she still loves him and a small part of her is in pain at seeing him so distraught and hysterical. She wants to hold him, comfort him, hug him...

And then she remembers that Luke is dead. And all those feelings are gone immediately.

"Don't worry, I won't kill myself. I still have a war to win, a mother to put on a throne, a birthright to restore for my brother. My family needs me and Cannibal so no, I can not give myself the pleasure of killing myself for your misery." Alysanne then smiles, a tiny smile but it is so scaring and horrifying that Aemond shivers from where he's looking up to her.

"But I'm happy that you mention Vhagar. I was going to kill her anyway for killing Luke and Arrax but now, I want you to watch her die. I want you to watch me take away the one only thing that has ever given you power in your life and want you to feel what it's like to lose everything."

Aemond only looks at her in disbelief and horror and watches as if he is trapped in his body as Alysanne commands for Cannibal to attack and kill. Vhagar is still lazily lying there, clearly exhausted from the turmoil of emotions her rider is feeling. Because of this, she is weak and her already old state makes her slow to move. It's almost funny that Cannibal is almost as old as her but so much quicker and more brutal. Even Aemond had once admitted that Cannibal was a better war dragon than Vhagar, simply because he was large but because of his long body, still quick to move. Besides, wild dragons are truly ruthless creatures, taking whatever they want and being used to much more brutally by themselves and without a rider.

Alysanne smiles as Cannibal bites the old dragon's tail and simply rips it off, tossing it on the beach next to him, never one to waste his food. Vhagar roars out but it's weak, lame and it takes a long time for her to move, so long that Cannibal is already bursting his massive fire at the old creature. The pain from the fire only makes it worse for the she-dragon and just as Vhagar is about to attack and spew fire of her own, Cannibal grips his teeth around her neck. They struggle back and forth for a few seconds and Alysanne sees the blood drip from Vhagar's neck. Eventually, Cannibal bites all around her neck completely and the dragon's head slices slowly to the ground, making a wet, disgusting sound as it lands on the sand. The huge body of the dragon sacks down in itself and Cannibal begins to feast on her carcass. He will have plenty of food for at least a week.

Alysanne turns back to Aemond who had just watched in horror this whole time, did not say a single word or command Vhagar to attack back. His mouth is open in shock and tears fall down his face as he watches Cannibal feast on his dragon. This is what it feels like, Alysanne thinks. You should feel even more.

Aemond turns back to her and his expression is unchanged, only shock and disbelief in his eyes. She only holds her sword up and points it at his chest once again. She doesn't know how stupid he is but clearly, he is very stupid because he makes no move to get away or attack her. She hardens the grip on her handle and holds the sword right where his heart is. She looks down on his chest and then back up again into his eye. She reaches forward and rips his eyepatch off in anger. Her expression is just as cold as before but her heart beats in fear now and she does not know if she can bring herself to slice it into his chest.

For him, she thinks. For Luke. Your little Luke who only ever wanted to be held by you and talk to you about his worries over ruling one day. Luke who only ever wanted to know that he was loved. Luke who did not wish to go, did not wish to fly into a trap to his own death.

Her inner demons make the decision for her and she pushes the sword in with all her strength and feels it go through his skin, his blood spilling out like a fountain. She doesn't stop pushing in until she feels the sword come out at the other end and only then does she rip it out. The blood flows out even more and Aemond doesn't scream at the pain, only holds his chest in shock and falls backwards on the sand onto his back. Alysanne throws her sword to the side and pulls out the dagger as she falls to her knees next to his body. He looks at her, has been looking at her this whole time and still does not say anything, does not attack her or tell her to stop. He has accepted his demise, so it seems.

His blood covered hand from his chest reaches up with all the strength he has left and he touches her cheek, so softly and gently. Alysanne is crying now and can not hold her emotions at bay anymore as she feels his warm, almost hot blood cover her cheek. He wipes away her tears and she drops the dagger that she had planned to take his eye out with as he cries too but strangely, there's a smile on his face. She leans down now and lies next to him, half her body on his as she continues to cry over her lost love. She puts one hand on his where it's holding his wound and smiles back at him. She feels happiness but sadness, sorrow and relief, darkness and light all at the same time. She sees how much harder it gets for him to breathe and the blood continues to come out of his chest, staining her dress but she doesn't care.

"Will you... come back here? Sometimes, just to remember me? When you have found... someone else you will love and be with and marry, will you still.. remember me?"

He talks slowly and his voice is almost at a whisper, taking breaths in between his words and Alysanne cries and cries and cries. She sobs for him and at what she had to do and asks why in hell he had to kill her brother but she nods all the same, can not let go of her first and only real love she ever had. Her heart feels just like Aemond's wound, bleeding and pierced with a sword and she leans her head on his, her tears falling on his face and mixing with his tears.

"No, I won't ever take anyone else. I can never love anyone like I love you, Aemond. I do not understand it... I despise you and I adore you. I hate you and I love you. I kill you and cry over you dying. What have you done with me, Aemond? What is this spell that you have put on me? I can never love someone again, never in my life. And I will think of you in every breath I take, with every turn of the sun, with every time I wake and go to sleep. You will never leave me, Aemond Targaryen. In death and in life. I love you, now and always."

Alysanne sobs and cries so bitterly, so painfully that she feels like she can not breathe from her sobs. She looks at Aemond and can see the life slowly leaving his eyes and she only holds on tighter to his hand on his chest, sobs and cries as if she had not done this to him. She reaches down and kisses him, one last time and wishes she had kissed him more in the past so she could remember what it really felt like. He looks at her with still so much love and smiles at her.

"I love you, Alysanne. Now and always."

She feels his hand on her cheek slowly slip away, the strength leaving his body and it pains and fills her with joy in a way that she does not understand. She only cries more as his hand falls down, his other hand turning motionless too. She sees the moment life leaves his eyes, that his soul departs from his body. Alysanne screams now and sobs and cries and can not stop her emotions from overflowing. She leans closer to him, her head on his chest right next to where his wound is and holds onto his hand with both of her hands as she lies there next to him. Her love was gone, forever perished by her hand and would never wake up again, tell her that he loved her, hold her so gently and speak of their wedding and how happy he would finally be to not be apart, to have her at his side at all times. He would never feel that happiness again, he would never feel his love for her again, he would never feel anything ever again. She sobs and cries next to his body for some time more, knowing that what she had done would haunt her for the rest of her life. It was terrible. Terrible but necessary.

Aemond Targaryen is dead.

Lucerys Velaryon is avenged.

When she comes flying back on Cannibal hours later her family is standing at the gates, seemingly worried for her. She sees her parents waiting for her and wonders if they will judge her for what she has done today.

Cannibal lands and Alysanne quickly gets off of the dragon. Her mother and father rush to her but stop when she sees that the blood she is covered in is not hers. She must look as insane as she feels, her white dress covered in blood at almost every part, her face and hands covered in it even more. She doesn't look at either of them as she gets off, too ashamed for how they would see her now. She gives Cannibal two pats and Aemond's body rolls out of his jaw with a horrifying splat and her dragon flies off to his nest, resting from the emotional and physically turmoil he had felt today. Rhaenyra and Daemon both look at him in shock and then at Alysanne. She only looks at Aemond, his eyes now closed but his body grotesquely bloodied all the same. Her mother steps closer and holds her by her shoulder, begging her to look up but she does not. She needs to remember Aemond's face, one last time before he's truly gone.

"What happened to Vhagar?" Her father questions, his shock now over but he still seems hesitant about how he feels. She looks up now and looks Daemon in the eyes, nothing but coldness in her eyes.

"Dead, lying on an island not far from here where I found her with him. Cannibal gave her a quick death and ate half her carcass already. He'll go back for more in the next few days until there's nothing left."

She now finally looks at her mother, who looks horrified at what she has done. She wonders if her own mother might not see her in the same light anymore but she brings the hand from her shoulder to her cheek and softly holds it there, uncaring about the blood.

"You did not have to do this, my little one." Her mother has tears in her eyes and she doesn't stop them from flowing out, in sadness over how her little girl had to go through so much pain just because of the man she loved. She looks at her mother and tries to soften her gaze. She does not know if it works or if she will ever be able to feel something again after what she has done.

"But I did. I loved him but I had to kill him at the same time. I could not let him live knowing what he had done to Luke. I just couldn't."

She looks away and back down at Aemond, his face so at peace now with his eye closed and almost a ghost of a smile on his lips. She stares at him for a few seconds, tries to memorize every detail about his beautiful face and feels herself crying again without sobbing this time. The tears just fall down her face without her wanting them to, just like everything else feels out of her control. She then bends down to him and leans his head in her direction, his body already growing cold and it pains her, burns her to feel that there was no more dragon blood in his body. She reaches her hand up to his face and softly cradles his cheeks and then takes the sapphire out of his eye socket. She does not look at him after that anymore, knowing he would not have wanted her to see him without it. She stands upright again and looks at the small blue sapphire in her hands, her last memory of him. She balls her hand into a fist around the sapphire and wishes she could just be at peace in her life, for once. She does not get peace, will never get it.

She walks past her parents and into the castle, the guards she passes looking at her in horror and shock. Now they see me as I am, she thinks. A monster.

She wants to start crying again when she remembers that Aemond had once said the same thing to her about himself. She wishes to hold him again, one last time just like on the beach, hold hands with him and tell him that she loved him and could never forget him. She wishes to hold him, to be with him but she does not wish for him to be alive again because it would then rip her apart to know that the man who had murdered her brother still lived. But she wished to turn back time for the rest of her life, lay in his arms again on the beach, kiss him and tell him that she will never forget about him. But she can not.

Aemond Targaryen is dead. Lucerys Velaryon is avenged.

Alysanne Velaryon brought justice for her brother and for her family. It was justice for the world and a small consolation prize for her pain of losing Luke.

An eye for an eye, she thinks. A life for a life.

Alysanne wishes justice for herself too. She wishes death for herself too.

#house of the dragon #hotd #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x oc #aemond targaryen x original character #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen x ofc #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen fic #house of the dragon imagine #house of the dragon spoilers

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veroniquesboutique · 3 months

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Study Break pt. 2 - Taiga Kagami x Reader

Don't have much to say other than the KNB brainrot is still real. Fun Fact: I know it doesn't seem like it from the way that I write, but my favorite character is actually Atsushi Murasakibara. I just don't think I'd be able to handle a fic with him in it 👀

Hope you enjoy!

Title: A Silly Little Arrangement

Rating: Explicit

Warnings:

Alternate Universe - College/University, Older reader, Older Woman/Younger Man, Younger Taiga Kagami, Taiga Kagami calls you baby girl, Friends to Lovers, love confession, FWB to SO, multiple orgasms, doggy style, oral f-receiving mention, explicit oral m-receiving, protected sex/condom mention, missionary, possibly slight love bombing but not malicious

Characters & ships: Kagami Taiga x AFAB!Reader

Word count: 4.7k words

18+ Minors DNI!

Very explicit below the cut

You have created a monster.

Maybe monster isn’t the right word you think to yourself as you bend over the cold kitchen counter of your dorm room suite, Taiga Kagami’s strong, large hands finding softness in the curves down your back and around your waist. His fingertips dig into the fleshy parts of your hips, and his cock is so deep inside you that you think you can feel it in your throat. The stretch of him thrusting into you at just the right pace - not too hard but not too soft - makes your eyes roll to the back of your head in pleasure, and if he kept going like this, you’d cum down his cock for the third time today.

The two of you had found an incredible arrangement since you took his virginity months ago: friends with benefits. It’s not groundbreaking, but when you had a friend that looked like Taiga Kagami who got drunk off your pussy every time you let him spend hours lapping at you between your legs, it was hard not to include the benefits in there sometimes.

You both had been very clear that a relationship couldn’t be on the table. Life was just too weird, too much, to handle the weight of a relationship. Plus, he was the best friend you had ever had, and you were his. Jeopardizing that over some good dick and even better head was a bad decision. However, you two were grown adults who could separate high sexual compatibility with the stable emotions of friendships. Absolutely nothing could get in your way.

So your arrangement was just that for months - an arrangement. You continued to study with him and eat dinner with him and walk to class with him and watch movies in your private RA dorm with him, and then, when the time felt right, you two would also set aside your friendship to have the most mind-blowing sex you’ve ever had. And Kagami was just as insatiable as you were, so he’d take you wherever and whenever you wanted - at the dinner table, in your bed, in the shower - hell, you two even messed around in the library once. It was usually multiple times a day because neither of you could get your fill of the way the other person felt and smelled or twitched just right or panted out each other’s names breathlessly or held on to each other, nails digging senselessly, with each intense orgasm or slept with their mouth ever so slightly open in a cute, unknowing smile.

Totally platonically of course.

And sure you two could still see other people, but why would you want to when you were getting fucked like this on the regular? Naturally, the dating apps were deleted off your phone eventually, and then one night you realized they weren’t on Kagami’s either. You stopped mentioning other men, and he stopped mentioning seeing other women. You felt completely satisfied by your relationship with him, and he seemed to feel completely satisfied by his relationship with you.

Just like friends are for.

Of course.

Continued on AO3...

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blue-thief · 7 months

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@galaxynajma here are the actor/artist/writer isakainess hcs i mentioned earlier 🫡 (this got wayy longer than i was expecting it to be so it's basically a fic outline atp

kaiser started off as a child actor which explains... everything

when he was really young he popped up in a few roles for some pretty big movies

his biggest role as a kid though came when he was about ten where he played a big supporting character in a long-running kids' sitcom (think stuff like hannah montana, icarly, etc)

he's more or less cut off contact with his parents but he was fortunate to get a hold of his money once he turned 18

he's since moved out, rents out his own modest apartment, and he's shown up in a few moderately successful things

he's far from being an a-list actor but he's got a decent following

even though most people wouldn't be able to recognize his face, he can mention the stuff he's been in and people will be like "ohh yeah i've heard of that, i've been meaning to check it out"

he usually has to wear makeup to cover up his tattoo. most of his notable roles came before he cut + dyed his hair

his goal is to become an oscar-winning actor and he was able to get the lead role for a really serious film. his new hair just happened to suit the role

meanwhile there's ness the writer

he started off studying something STEM-related to appease his parents. besides, he needs a backup plan just in case the whole writing thing doesn't work out

but he soon dropped out due to being overwhelmed by how intense his competition was

fortunately enough he's still in contact with an ex classmate and he got some money doing copywriting for their side gig's website

on top of that he started submitting flash fiction and poetry to different competitions and magazines like CRAZYYY just to make a little more money

kaiser stumbles across one of his pieces, looks into him a little more, and finds ness's personal blog

he reads up on ness ranting about his parents and how he has no money

at this point kaiser's kinda fallen in love but he doesn't wanna seem too weird

and he reaches out to ness saying, "hey ik this sounds kinda weird but if you really wanna pursue your dreams but you're low on money you can become my roommate"

at first ness is like "wtf is this guy gonna try to kill me"

but he's late on rent and about to get evicted so he's DESPERATE

he agrees to meet kaiser to assess the vibes

and well. obviously ness falls head over heels in love with kaiser

(obv kaiser isn't gonna kill ness but don't follow in ness's footsteps guys you probably won't end up being as lucky)

and it works out great. kaiser's more than happy to cover most of the rent, he's out most of the time filming, and ness just has this bigass apartment where he's got ample space to work

anyway while kaiser's out and about one day he's at this cafe

there's this one worker on break, still in his apron and everything

he's off in the corner doodling something

the worker is isagi

and kaiser notices isagi is drawing HIM

kaiser goes up to him all smug like "wow, are you a fan? you want an autograph?"

and isagi's like "bro idfk who you are i just really liked your tattoo"

they talk a bit and isagi tells kaiser where he can find more of his work

isagi's mostly focused on digital art and commissions but he's also studying animation

kaiser finds his instagram and commissions isagi

"that napkin doodle you made of me was pretty good but i'd love to see how well you can capture my beauty given ample time (and money) ;)"

kaiser quickly becomes isagi's most frequent and highest paying client

you can say he's basically become isagi's (and to an extent ness's) sugar daddy

but kaiser likes to think of himself of those wealthy patrons from the renaissance

kaiser loved swinging by the cafe to ask about isagi's progress on his latest commission

one day he overheard isagi panicking about not being able to pay rent

and kaiser's like "you can move in with me and my roommate if you want"

and well. isagi does exactly that

ness kinda gets all crazy and possessive like "WHO'S THIS HOW DID YOU MEET HIM HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S NOT-"

suffice to say he and isagi don't get along at first

but kaiser's never home so it's mostly just them on opposite sides of the apartment, sending glares at each other every now and then

it's BECAUSE kaiser is never around that isagi and ness are forced to bond with each other eventually

FUCK THIS POSTED INSTEAD OF GETTING SAVED AS A DRAFT

oh whatever i'll probably make this into a fic and fill in the rest that way 😭😭

#i might make this into a proper fic someday idk #blue lock #bllk #isagi yoichi #yoichi isagi #michael kaiser #alexis ness #kaisagi #kainess #nessagi #isaness #isakainess #kainessagi

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oneshlut · 10 months

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Hello!!!! Love your writing!!!! May i request a platonic Sun and Moon (or eclipse its up to you!) With a favorite child reader? I just think that would be adorable!!!

P.s. i LOVE your writing!!!! And your headcanons!!! Dont overwork yourself!!!! Keep being cool/pos!!!!!!!!

A/N: UGHHH you guys are SO SWEET!!! pls stop im gonna IMPLODE /j tyty for all the kind words, also i really needed some1 to tell me not to overwork myself lmaoao, ive been getting so many requests lately.. promise i'll get to all of y'all! OHOH AND I LOVE WRITING FOR THESE THREE! and child readers for them, especially!

(since im feeling extra silly i'll give you a fanfic recommendation: New Consciousness! i think it can be found on tumblr too.. its a yandere sun/moon fic&child reader, one of my favs and greatest inspo!)

Your Best Friend (Sun/Moon/Eclipse & Child!Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

Summary: General meeting, friendship, and attachment headcanons for The Daycare Attendant with a child reader.

Extra Info: Sun and Moon share bodies, just like in the game. If I mention them talking to each other, they're talking with their shared consciousness.

Sun:

Sun can usually tell when someone new joins the daycare. If he doesn't hear the obvious audio clue of the ballpit, he'll have a sensor that will go off so that he's notified. Every time Sun gets a notification, you can almost see his built-in smile grow wider. A new friend!

As a child new to the Pizzaplex, entering the daycare for the first time was terrifying. I don't think the current horrible reputation on the Fazbear company helped one bit. The animatronics were definitely scary, you didn't need to know that there was a chance you could go missing because of them.

But the daycare had attendants, so that calmed your nerves. Slightly. Until you realized, they too were animatronics. The statue in the entrance of the daycare was massive compared to you. You suddenly wished that you hadn't accepted that birthday invitation.

Sun immediately goes in to meet you! He's practically radiating happiness onto you, skipping to where you were. He's definitely very intense when first meeting you, waving to you like a maniac. You eventually find yourself getting used to his upbeat energy, agreeing to do most activities with him that he brings up. This includes making macaroni art, crudely put-together paper pals, and a few drawings that he's sure to hang up in his room afterwards.

The security officers seem to catch on over the next few weeks how Sun has grown attached to one child. It pretty much went against his code, as he was supposed to be keeping a watchful eye over all the kids, not just one. But the officers at Freddy's get paid minimum wage, so they don't really care about the two of you unless they've got a lawsuit on their hands.

If you were ever feeling down, he'd immediately try to cheer you up. He will spend the entire day with you if he needs to! He may be intense, clingy, and won't let you out of his sight for a mere 2 seconds, but he's got good intentions. Sun hates seing children sad, and the one thing he knew how to do best was cheer them up. Whether this be silly faces, drawings, or hide n' seek, he always had something new to distract you from the little raincloud utop your head. However, Sun knows he can be a bit chaotic at times. If you want him to, he'll give you space. Sometimes, kids just need calm, and that was definitely not his strong suit.

Sun tries not to have "favorite" children, but he couldn't deny he was growing a bit attached. You were enjoying his company anyway, so why should he have to stop? You seemed much less nervous around him aswell, so as far as he knew, he was doing the right thing. A new term had suddenly seemed to form in his memory bank: "best friend".

Moon:

Now, Moon definitely caught you off guard. You had grown so used to Sun's warm, exatatic nature, that when the atmosphere to the daycare had a sudden chill, yet calming feel to it, you immediately thought something was wrong.

Given this, you met Moon when, apparently, Sun was going under.. technical support of some kind. You didn't know the full extent to the details, but what you did know was that Sun was gone, and in replacement, Moon took over both the day and night shifts. You watched as the kids in the daycare scrambled around, some trying to hide, and some just trying to get all their energy out before Moon came out for the night shift. You had intended to just stay away from him in a random corner, since most kids seemed afraid of him, but with the "night" shift coming up, you really had no way to avoid him.

Moon wasn't in the mood for hide n' seek. Not like Sun usually was. He recognized that he had a job to do, so if anything, he'd get it done. He did enjoy working for kids--it was in his code, after all--but this didn't distract him from his work. As most children were, you were scared of him at first. Moon normally just forced the kid to go to bed, either with a Moondrop candy, or tame threats like time-out. But you seemed.. different. He didn't want to be seen as mean, not to you. Instead, he tried to gain your trust by telling you that he was friends with Sun, assuming you were more favorable towards Sun.. again, as most kids were. Surprisingly, he was right to assume.

You, on the other hand, were thrown completely off guard. For the most part, you had thought Moon was this mean, strict, and harsh version of Sun--as you've heard from other children. But instead, you found him to be much more calming, if anything. Maybe the kids just hated having to tone down their energy, that when someone forced them to, they grew naturally afraid of them. That was your reasoning, anyway.

Unlike Sun, Moon is more of a "denier" than anything. He had things to do, and didn't need things getting in the way. But you were different. You weren't a distraction--no, far from it. He wouldn't admit it, but as Sun did, he grew attached. Out of all the kids he's taken care of during his career, you were definitely the calmest. Your presence is.. nice.

If you're going to anyone for comfort, it's Moon. This is if Sun didn't manage to cheer you up previously. Moon's version of comfort was more of quiet, small ambiance, plushies, blankets, and pillows. Sometimes storytimes! That's one method the two had in common. So if you ever have trouble sleeping when nap time comes around, Moon may or may not give you special treatment to ensure you sleep soundly. This means absolutely everything I just listed above for comfort.

He soon discovered what it was like to spend the whole day with you. He'd now ask Sun every now and then if he could take over the day shift for him. At first Sun denied, that would mean less time with you! But, if he made it equal..

Sun made a somewhat "deal" with Moon, where they would now just take days instead of shifts. This.. didn't look good to the staff, though. Instead of making them go back to their shifts, though, they would make sure they both got what they wanted. And in the staff's eyes, what the shared animatronic wanted was to each have both shifts. Not too far off.

Eclipse:

A day passed one day, where neither Sun or Moon was watching over the daycare. In replacement were just the.. extremely creepy staff bots. You began to grow worried--if he'd ever come back again. Luckily, you only had to wait a day.

The day he came back, the animatronic was.. new. Different. You tried to listen in on the clumps of children's conversations--listening until the words blended together to form the name "Eclipse". The name definitely made sense for their character.

To say you were ecstatic would be an understatement. You were practically as happy as Sun was when he first met you! Eclipse was everything you could ever want--it was both of your best friends put into one personality, one animatronic. But if anyone was more excited than you, it would be Eclipse himself. One thing that was different now was his ability to tone his excitement and clinginess down. With the two brought together, their personality fell on a balance.

Meeting you was much less of a shock for him as it was for you. You liked the new look, though. As soon as Eclipse caught your eye, he immediately skipped over to squeeze you in a tight hug. Don't worry, he tried not to squeeze too hard. Even if you were confused at first, you warmed up to him quickly. You noted his voice as he spoke to you for the first time. Not too frantic like Sun's, yet not too quiet like Moon's. Something about it was.. comforting. Which leads me to my next topic.

Eclipse is the best source of comfort you can get. He can most likely tell if you're having a bad day. If you ever feel overwhelmed/overstimulated at the daycare, he'll take you to his room for the first time. If he's being honest, he's never really shown anyone his room before--until now, that is. You immediately fell in love with the room! You would ask to go there more often, and on some days, stay in there the entire day. Eclipse didn't mind, though! Anything to cheer you up, after all.

Eventually, your birthday will come around, in which Eclipse goes all out. He didn't truly expect you to visit the daycare on your birthday--he had figured you'd like to see the Glamrocks instead, but no! Eclipse was honestly so honored that you'd want to spend your birthday with him of all animatronics. With this in mind, he tries to make today the best day of your life! The best day for you in the daycare, at that. He won't go too overboard, but he will spend all his time having fun with you. Eclipse would schedule activities to do, such as macaroni pictures, creating puppets to be used in future puppet shows, and if he's feeling nice enough, he'll sneak in some FizzyFaz into the daycare. When the day starts to near an end, he'll take you backstage to his room, where he has fully decorated the small spot with birthday balloons, banners, strings, and small gifts scattered across the floor. In the center was a.. poorly made cake. Eclipse was only an animatronic after all, his coding didn't have any baking intelligence in his mainframe. It was the thought that counted.

Going home afterwards was definitely a challenge, though. You were practically dragged away from the daycare, and Eclipse had never felt more flattered. On your drive back, you had discovered that you had a new best friend. Animatronic or not.

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dollwrites · 1 year

Text

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 — 𝐫𝐮𝐢 𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ∣ smut ( minors dni ), this is a darker fic, dub con for a bit, drug use ( LSD ), voyeurism and exhibitionism, Tsukasa involvement, suggested Kaito x reader too, very small amount of RuiKasa, all characters featured are aged 18+

𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 ∣ i haven’t written in a while so i may be kind of rusty. do not repost or translate. please reblog && leave feedback. not proofread so there’s probably mistakes. thanks for reading <3

“Rui, something’s wrong —“

why was everything so loud? even the way he pants, his swollen lips parted and hovering inches from your face, the moans that slip free as hot air fans the apples of your cheeks in furious, little puffs— that shouldn’t have been audible over the blaring carnival music that washes around you, but you could hear every break in his breath. you could pick apart his vulgar whimpering, and you thought you might even be able to trace each note that lives within it with the tip of your finger, if only your wrists were not bound with what felt like silk ribboning, you would. due to his candy obsession, his warm breath usually tasted of sweets, but this time was different. the scent of sugar clinging to his tastebuds was so intense that you could taste it on your own.

“Nothing’s wrong, darling,” Rui assures with the shape of his mouth brushing over your countenance. he leaves a wildfire of sensation in the wake of his soft tiers, allowing them to dance over the tip of your nose and tease your mouth, that chased them. “Everything’s perfect.” your head had been swiveling, trying to look past the blinding, rainbow lights to try and decipher where you were. it didn’t look like Rui’s room anymore. in the center of the room, you were suspended in the air ( you only recently realized this when you dropped your head back and found yourself dangling helplessly, jostled in tandem with Rui’s fervent pounding into your guts ), but if you try to follow the slithering silks that coil around your arms and legs, you find they disappear into an abyss— there was no ceiling.

what were those silks connected to?

how were you being supported, exactly?

“Oh, you feel good…” he purrs, biting down on his lower lip hard, passing a sultry whine through his teeth as he savors how your body feels from the inside. “Yes, yes, yes…” he always got lost in you, reveling in how tight you clamped around him, and the way your recoiled in response to his pounding.

then, as your hazy eyeline scanned every inch of the environment, you spotted an audience. once again, however, beyond the chairs and silhouettes of their heads, you could see not a single detail. you knew they were there, because you could hear them. gasping, laughing, cheering.

this wasn’t happening.

you were going crazy.

“I think you gave me too much…” you mewl, curling your toes, but it did little to relieve the pressure Rui was forcing into your body. your head rolls, heavy on your shoulders, and you look back up at him. maybe if you focus on him, you thought, you could get control of yourself. but Rui didn’t even look like Rui. had he changed clothes? you’d most certainly have remembered if he’d met you at the door in a three piece suit and a black top hat balancing precariously askew on his head. it was as if he was part of this world you saw swirling around you, this wicked circus.

“F—fuck, Rui I’m seri— serious—“ you were groaning, though, panting with vulgar delight because it feels so good. Rui had always been a phenomenal lay, but it was always miles better when the two of you were tripping; it was like his fingertips were made of electricity, sending an unbelievable voltage of pure pleasure everywhere they touched.

and usually, Rui was good about measuring out each hit to make sure you could control your trip, but this time was different. at first, you’d looked at your dose and thought it wouldn’t be so bad. but everything got weird when his friend, Tsukasa pulled out his phone. “T—turn the lights on,” you beg, closing your eyes tight. “I—I need to come down.”

“Shh, shh, shh…” Rui croons, both, gloved fists wrapped around the ribbons that bind you. he used that leverage to pull you into his thrusts so he slammed home harder, smacking his hips into yours when he bottoms out, and you cry out loud, clenching your fists. “You’re missing all the lovely sounds,” he mewls, a cherry tint on his cheeks. his golden gaze had been blown out by pitch black pupils, so when you squint and try to meet his eyes, you’re sucked into the depth of his desire for you. you open your mouth to speak, to reiterate your point: you wanted this trip to be over, but his warm fingers clamp over your mouth, muffing your plea, and your eyes widen, “I want the others to hear how wet your sweet, little pussy is, too.”

the others?

for a moment, you’re perplexed. you could only remember that Tsukasa fellow. your eyes dart behind his left shoulder, and catch the two figures. Tsukasa and… someone else. a taller man, perhaps a year or two older than Rui. he has his hands clasped together in front of him, and his head cocked to one side. his features are surprisingly soft, as if the sound of your body squelching and your muffled whimpering is a beautiful symphony and he was listening intently.

you didn’t recognize him.

when had he shown up?

Tsukasa, on the other hand, was staring with big eyes and crimson cheeks, his eyeline jolting back and forth to the rhythm of Rui’s rocking hips, and you realize he must be watching his friend slide in and out with every thrust. he looks hungry.

“Rui, didn’t you promise Tsukasa something?” the other one asks, knowingly glancing to Rui, who doesn’t deny it. “So long as he brought your guest here?”

Rui snickers, glancing over his shoulder, and you do the same, staring at a very flustered Tsukasa. “Well, you certainly won’t be able to touch her from all the way over there.” you blink, bemused, and grip the silk restraints, arching your back— you want to bring Rui’s attention back to you so you can shake your head, give him a signal to let him know that this was not something you were agreeing to, but when he looks back to you, sees you shaking your head, he coos, “Ah, don’t worry! I’ll teach him how to play with you the way you like.”

everything happened way too fast.

from Tsukasa stumbling over, staring at your body with blown out pupils, grasping one finger of his glove in his teeth to pull it off as his other hand reaches for your breast. the black silk is warm when he gropes a handful of you, hard and needy.

“She’s soft, right?” Tsukasa is already nodding, agreeing with him before the question fully leaves his lips. Rui giggles, grasping his friend’s bare wrist once the glove is discarded and guiding his hand between your legs. “Wait until you feel her cunt. Her plushy, little clit is just like a moan button.”

in this moment, you hated that Rui knew exactly how to find it, because he pushed Tsukasa’s thumb against it, swiping skillfully to guide his clearly less experienced friend into the rhythm he knew would drive you crazy, resting his chin on Tsukasa’s shoulder to stare at you from behind his golden tendrils. Tsukasa’s eyes widened in awe as you whimpered into Rui’s glove, your eyelids slitting. the pad of Tsukasa’s thumb was rougher than Rui’s, and it scraped in just the right way to have you reeling.

“See?”

“Woah…” Tsukasa stared, rubbing harder. Rui can’t help but let out a strangled moan, because you were clamping down on him, throbbing.

“Keep doing it just like that,” he breathes heavily in Tsukasa’s ear, encouraging his friend, “She’s clenching like crazy… She likes it.”

you couldn’t even pretend he was wrong, either. your thighs were trembling in their binds, your eyelids fluttering, your head falling back. Rui allows it to, releasing your mouth and you expel a loud, flustered yowl, “F—ff—uck!” you no longer cared about coming down, or even minded that they hadn’t cared whether or not you consented to Tsukasa’s involvement, wanted him to touch you.

now, you didn’t want him to stop.

“M—more,” you whisper, back arching as you squirm, “more, more. C—close…”

Rui’s hand seeks out your throat instead, gripping it to hold you in place so he can plant his feet and drive himself into you in erratic, happy thrusts. he squeezes, crooning as his eyes threaten to close, too, but they remain, heavily lidded and hazy, on you. “Ah… Tsukasa, you’re going to make her cum!” Rui exclaims through heavy panting, “Don’t stop yet, she feels so tight!”

Tsukasa didn’t seem like he had even considered stopping. gritting his teeth, furrowing his brow, he leans over you more, desperate to watch your face contort in pleasure, while his fingers work furiously at the same, rapid-fire pace against your twitching clit. had you been sober, you might’ve even moaned and asked if he played the piano, what with how precise his fingering was, but you weren’t. not even close.

you gurgled and wheezed out pathetically adorable moans as Rui choked you harder, teasing your windpipe to experiment with how much pressure it took to make you sputter, as he fucked every, single lingering thought out of your head.

“Cum for me,” Tsukasa whimpered, needy, as he buried his face in your breasts to suck on them. he didn’t mind that he and his friend were in a game of Twister, entangling with one another in order to both touch you, but Rui didn’t either. he’d allowed Tsukasa to worm in between his body and yours, so long as he didn’t break the join at your sex, and Rui’s chin digs into Tsukasa’s shoulder. you can even see, blurry when you lift your head, his teeth sinking into Tsukasa’s neck every so often, as he allows a moan to vibrate against his flesh. they were both so close to you, both tethered to you. “Please cum hard for me!”

it made you dizzy.

“Cumming…” you croak, and Rui tightens his grip. he must be, too, spurred by how your walls milk him.

“Say my name,” Tsukasa begs, his strumming never once wading up, “say— say that it’s for me…”

“I— I’m cumming for you, Tsukasa!”

that was all that you could muster before you completely unravel into nonsensical babbling and yipping, and writhing. it feels good, so good you’re overloading, and your nails claw at the silks coiled around your wrists.

Rui follows right along behind you, releasing your throat to grasp himself and pull free from your depths so he can slot your folds around his girth as he cums, rubbing his cock between them, his release leaving your sex stickier, and smelling of him.

Tsukasa heard your soft, nearly coherent plea for him to ease up on your hyper sensitive nub, and he obeys, allowing his fingers to dip downwards and gather Rui’s release from between your nerherlips on the tips of his digits. he slides his first, two fingers inside of you, biting down on his lip to muffle a sordid moan when your walls spasm around the new intruders.

“Do you still want to come down?” Rui teases. he’s come around to squat down so he’s face to face with you, petting your hair back before peppering your temple with sugary kisses. you shake your head, weakly.

this world, whether it was a figment of your trip, conjured by too many drugs working overtime in your system, or it really did exist inside of Tsukasa’s cellphone like he claimed, had taken its toll on you, but you no longer cared.

you’d given into the euphoria, and you were enjoying it now.

Rui giggles, his mouth traveling south to kiss your cheek, and then the corner of your mouth, before you finally turn to catch his lips in a passionate lock. you can only hold it for a second before you need to catch your breath, and Rui’s tongue glides along your parted lips. “You want to ride it out? Be a tough, little cookie?”

you nod, smiling, cumdrunk and filled with too much pleasure to turn it down.

“She agreed, just like you said she would.” the mysterious man who’d been watching had moved closer, running svelte, gloved digits over your trembling ankle in butterfly caresses, and hummed, pensively.

Rui beams, nodding as he kisses your mouth, “Mm, I know my girl fairly well. Isn’t that right, darling?”

“More, please…” you whispered, softly, “I want to cum again…”

Rui chortles, and looks up at Tsukasa, still smitten with your sex, and, voice like a bell, croons, “Don’t worry, my little marionette. Tsukasa is going to have you now. And then, Kaito here, will do the same. You’ll be so fucked out by the time you come down, you’ll be a trembling, drooling mess.” Rui swoons at the thought, his smile wide and mischievous, but you mirror it with an entranced, lazy simper, nodding happily to each word. “And I promise, you’ll never want to leave from right here once you’ve taken all three of us.”

#I am very high so if this shit don’t make sense 😡 PRETEND IT DOES #rui #rui x reader #rui x you #rui smut #rui kamishiro #rui kamishiro x reader #rui kamishiro x you #rui kamishiro smut #project sekai #project sekai x reader #project sekai x you #project sekai smut #tsukasa tenma #tsukasa tenma x reader #tsukasa tenma x you

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alexcutecolly · 11 months

Text

A Game of Fear and Shrinking: Rewritten

Hello everyone! As promised, here's another, improved take on my first vore story from 2017!

I'd like to thank my awesome sweetheart @bluepriestess for betareading, providing great support and suggesting wonderful ideas for the characters! She's the best bestie! 💕

Although the vore scene described is non-sexual and there's no explicit content in the story, it is best suited for 17+ readers, as it contains themes for a more mature audience. Still, please don't reblog it on exclusively-NSFW/kink blogs. Actually, DNI if you host these kinds of blogs.

Reader is gender neutral in the story.

I hope you enjoy my fic everyone!

CW: unwilling vore, unwilling prey, sadistic/cruel pred, weakened/poisoned prey, fearplay.

Words: 1,435

Ao3 version

~°~

Thump thump. Thump thump.

This is the only noise you're able to hear right now. Your own heartbeat. It bumps so hard in your chest that it’s like it wants to break free and flee far, far away.

Thump thump. Thump thump.

Your head hurts, you can barely focus on what’s happening. The only thing you know is that you're running away from someone dangerous. And that someone is chasing you in this very moment, you can feel it in your veins. Your adreline levels are off the charts.

Thump thump. Thump thump.

A sudden headache blinds your sight for a second, forcing you to stop and take some deep breaths.

W-what is happening? He must not reach me, or else-

And that's when you hear it. A dark chuckle erupts from behind you, slowly approaching your weakening body.

"Oooh, what do we have here~? Looks like my delightful snack has escaped. What a shame" the voice says, getting closer. Footsteps reverbate as he gets closer, thumping in the silent void between the two of you. Your eyes don't want to meet his, the latter fixated on you with a familiar hunger.

'You're not a meal to him and you will never be', you’ve kept saying to yourself for the last few days. What he did to you is beyond anyone’s mind, even trying to talk about it with someone is difficult. It hurts. And it doesn’t help that your energies are quickly abandoning you, for some reason.

"Why did you stop running, darling~? Is the poison starting to take effect your cute, scrumptious body~?" he asks, grinning as he keeps walking towards you. You start to feel limp, barely able to stand.

“W-what’s this?? Why would you do this???” is all you can blurt out in panic. He just chuckles in response.

“Excuse me~ I couldn't wait to eat ya so I decided to add something different to your last meal~ You just look too damn delicious when you sleep" he continues, now only some feet away from you.

You try to scream, but nothing but whimpers and sobs come out of your mouth. He snickers again at your pitiful attempt to cry out.

"Awwww!~ You seem in trouble~ How fortunate of me to pop here just to help you out!~~", his voice echoing in the abandoned factory as he takes some more steps forwards.

Curse you, sicko! You and you sickening humor, you think, gritting your teeth in an attempt not to lose focus.

The mad man is now before you, breathing just some inches away from your face. With a smirk, he then proceeds to firmly pin you against the closest wall, giving you a lick on your trembling cheek. "Now now, let's have some fun, shall we~?"

Your eyes immediately open wide as you realize his intensions and begin to struggle more, your efforts useless against his strength. Oh, if only you could smack his face! But he has the upper hand right now, and he seems to quite enjoy your squirming.

"Oh~ We didn’t even get started and you’re already fighting back! It’ll please us both, don’t worry” he says, chuckling as he then pulls out his usual small remote control.

Thump thump. Thump thump.

Nononono!

Before you could even shriek he presses the button, breaking the silence with a deep chuckle. Suddenly a known stinging pain bursts behind your left ear and hastily spreads everywhere, from head to toe. You only have the time to close your eyes and hiss in pain.

When you open them again everything around is huge now compared to you, just like him.

To your purest disgust you look up, realizing he’s staring in awe at your shrunken figure, currently the size of a pinky finger. And as if things couldn’t get worse, your limbs feel numb and you can’t move any longer. The poison must have taken full control now.

N-not again! Please, I don’t want to!

"Aw, you look so cute I could just eat you up~” he taunts, easily grabbing you in his fist, admiring you like a child with a brand new toy. You’ve never liked that glare, you can’t bear it. Though despite your weak state, you finally managed to spit something out.

“You jerk, I’ve heard you say that so often I know you’re actually gonna do it” you snarl, making your best try at squirming away at that same moment.

He stares at you puzzled, raising an eyebrow. But that confusion disappears as soon as he starts to cackle, taking away your unique occasion of satisfaction against him.

“Someone’s being funny here~ But time’s running out, gotta hurry y’know?” he says, approaching you to his lips before you could even blink.

That’s where the nightmare begins. Snapping his teeth before you, breathing on your face or licking it are his favourite ways to send shivers down your spine, your struggles the best part of the show. It’s always just a game to him anyway, so why shouldn’t he have his own fun?

Weirdly enough he already gets tired of it, so without warning he swiftly opens his mouth and tosses you inside, shutting it immediately afterwards.

He did it on purpose, the bastard.

All the light has disappeared now and you can feel something spongy, slimy and warm under you. It can be only one thing. Some drips of saliva fall on your already moist face and you suddenly find yourself pinned against the roof of his mouth.

So fucking gross…

He doesn’t even spare some sucking, as you get moved around to taste every inch of your body. Luckily your clothes have shrunk with you... Hell seems the best place to you when he slowly tilts his head back, causing you to inevitably slide towards the back of his mouth, without the time to react and fight back.

Oh no-

GULP~

It all happens so fast. Your limp body being pushed in his tight throat. His faint groans, his fingers caressing a familiar bulge in the neck. The peristalsis pulling you deeper into him, the beating of his heart and the calm breathing.

You just decide to close your eyes once again, letting the esophagus drop you in your churning prison. Inside, it’s almost pitch black. A small pond of acids and a cacophony of gurgles welcome you, with a loud rumble that makes the whole chamber vibrate.

Urp~

Wonderful.

"Hehe, pardon me pet. You really are such an unique delicacy~~ this is why no one else must have you." he says, wiping some drool away from his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Mmmmm~ in fact, you do belong in my gut, stewing away from everything and everyone else~~ I doubt anyone else would be able to enjoy this as much as I am now~~”

You feel his hand rubbing his belly from outside, giving it a couple of pats too. If it's either a way to comfort you or to simply express his smugness, you can't say.

Definitely more of the latter, though.

...

Thankfully he made you indigestible, when he brought you here who knows how long ago. A simple injection, and now he can eat you as many times as he pleases. No lack of oxygen whatsoever, and the stomach acids barely run down your skin and clothes just like water.

He wouldn't want to hurt you in that kind of way, to be fair; he's been at least a little considerate in that regard. So despite everything, you're actually glad he's removed the painful parts of being inside someone else's belly.

The walls around you continue to churn away at your now tiny figure. Pushing them away proves to be of little to no effect to him, and the surroundings merely slosh loudly all around you.

"Since it’s all being settled, let's go back to the lab now, I'll let you out there" he exclaims, the stomach around you shaking a little as he starts heading back to his secret hideout.

"However, because of this futile stunt of yours, you're going to stay inside for as long as I see fit~ which could be hours, or a couple of days, maybe a whole week as well! We have aaaall the time in the world after all, don't we?". He snickers, his booming steps neverending.

With the remaining energy, you manage to lay down against one of the fleshy walls, your arms bringing your knees close to your chest in an attempt to curl up.

He won again.

...

You let out a sigh in defeat.

He always wins.

#here it is #in all its glory #safe vore #non-fatal vore #g/t vore #cruel pred #unwilling prey #v0re #shrinking #fearplay #non-sexual vore #gender neutral reader

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temnurus · 5 months

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Recent Wangxian Faves

It's been a while since I compiled a general rec list, & I've read a metric ton of fics already this year. Here are ten of my more recently read favorites, some of which I've even read twice already because they were just that good! Y'all know the drill with me and smutty fics, so I hope no one is surprised when all of these are rated Explicit, haha. Sex isn't the theme of all of them, certainly, but it is present in all of them to some degree. Please note that these are listed in no particular order. Now, without further ado, onto the recs!

heart notes by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 92,632)

Thoughts: This fic had the most unique jobs for them that I think I’ve seen yet, & it was wild how well suited they turned out to be. Lan Zhan as a perfumer is one of my new favorite things that I never knew I needed, but here we are. The regret hung so heavy throughout most of this fic, & my heart ached for both of them. As hard as I typically find break up & make up fics to read, this one was 100% worth the angst. The love that went into writing it was so obvious, & it was just beautiful. I reveled in Lan Zhan being a master of his craft, & Wei Ying wanting so badly to help him when he was in trouble & ultimately became his champion when he so desperately needed one brought me to tears. Read this. Plainly put, it’s a masterpiece, & I loved it so much.

as the sun will rise by vespertineflora (E, 125,858)

Thoughts: This fic rocketed into my top five the instant I finished it. Probably even before that, to be completely honest. I love Beauty & the Beast AUs, which this was even though the author just used the Fairy Tale AU tag instead of being more specific. There aren’t really tentacles, but it was fair to include the tags for comparison because the vines work the same way, basically. Well, minus ejaculation. The only one doing that until near the end of the fic is Wei Ying, not that anyone’s complaining, haha.

Do mind the tags because this did get a bit emotionally heavy, particularly if you’re sensitive to Major Character Injury. I thoroughly enjoyed Wei Ying & Lhan Zhan’s characterizations & their dynamic. The writing was superb, & there was an engaging & interesting plot besides the titillating monster-fucking going on. I’ve pretty much read this twice already, & I have zero doubts there are many more rereads in my future. I sincerely urge anyone to give this one a try. It was so, so good!

you'll always know me by anaphoricae (E, 127,006)

Thoughts: Oh, this was so, so good. I’m a delicate flower who wilts during break up & make up fics, & this one was no exception to that rule. It was so gorgeous though. We got glimpses into their past throughout the nonlinear narrative & got to see each of their points of view at different parts of the story. I was particularly enamoured of Lan Zhan’s side of things, but that isn’t too surprising at this point because his pining for Wei Ying is always so relateable to me, ha.

And on that note, his pain was excruciating & deeply felt during the parts that covered their separation. I cried more than once as a result. The awkwardness & tension of their reunion quickly gave way to the magnetic pull between them, & I was practically glued to my seat until I finished this fic. The feelings were all so intense, & I loved every minute of it. Highly, highly recommend it.

Cloud Nine by mssdare (E, 80,064)

Thoughts: I loveloveloved this! I’d seen Wei Ying as a YouTuber before but not Lan Zhan, so it was a very neat thing to see him doing. I didn’t think it would suit him at first, but the author made it work perfectly. The tags were heavy, but the fic was mostly about the aftermath of Wei Ying’s mental breakdown when he came out of treatment & was trying to adjust to life in the real world again. I felt for him so strongly in this, & I appreciated the author’s respectful but unvarnished depiction of living with mental illness, including the often difficult time one can have dealing with the side effects of medication.

All the people who cared about Wei Ying touched my heart in this fic, but of course Lan Zhan was his number one. Lan Zhan’s ASMR videos being so comforting to Wei Ying during his recovery made me want to cry, & the slow burn of their developing relationship was really beautiful, not to mention satisfying. It did of course earn the angst with a happy ending tag, but there wasn’t nearly as much angst as one might expect with the subjects the fic touched on, just in case that’s comforting for anyone.

With No Particular Affection by Chrononautical (E, 92,397)

Thoughts: I love me a good arranged marriage fic, & this one was particularly good for a modern day AU. The idea that Wei Ying must marry Lan Zhan in order to save his family’s business is admittedly a flimsy excuse, but who are we to complain when it gives us stories like this? I’m certainly not going to, haha. The misunderstanding in this one was agonizing due to an overheard conversation, & I literally wanted to cry whenever the title phrase popped up in the fic.

However, the author balanced it with adorable interactions between Wei Ying, A’Yuan, & Lan Zhan, particularly all the fantastic fluffy domesticity after their nuptials. It was definitely a bumpy road on their way to happiness, including some corporate espionage! This fic had a little bit of everything, & I enjoyed everything it had to give us, including a very satisfying (and happy!) ending.

Comfortable Silence by WritersBlock823 (E, 65,072)

Thoughts: Oh, this was such a satisfying read. It’s now easily one of my favorite college/university AUs. I loved the randomness of their first encounter & how it led to them becoming roommates. The angst surrounding Lan Zhan being deaf & how that affected his interpersonal relationships was handled with care & respect by the author, & Wei Ying respecting Lan Zhan’s autonomy & his thoughtfulness when it came to communication between them made me cry a couple times. They both had painful memories to work through, & those moments could be brutal & emotionally exhausting but in a cathartic way, at least in my opinion. The smut was super hot, & I was thrilled with their happy ending. They totally deserved it, but then they always do.

i'm the one for your fire by occultings (E, 42,931)

Thoughts: What can I say? This is yet another gem by occultings. It motivated me to watch the source material for the AU before I allowed myself to read the fic, & I’m so very glad I did. I would’ve enjoyed it without the context, but it undoubtedly let me enjoy the fic just that much more. The concept alone was enough to have me laughing, but the fic delivered on it even more. Lan Zhan’s thoughts were so compelling, particularly the dirty ones, but then again, I’m a huge pervert, so don’t mind me, haha. This fic was sexy & sweet & had a little bit of everything. I highly recommend it, as well as the BL drama/manga that inspired it.

Hanlong by Alexandra_Kreuz & micratus (E, 282,550)

Thoughts: This fic blew my fucking socks off. It was absolutely phenomenal. One of the best Modern Cultivation AUs I’ve read, & that’s saying something because there are some big contenders in that category. I found it very original while still having perfect characterization for all my favorite people. It even convinced me that Wen Ning & Xue Yang was a viable ship! (At least in a modern AU where XY isn’t the absolute worst, heh).

The slow burn was real, but it was so fun seeing everyone come together for the different lecture series held in rotating sect territories each year during their teens. The plot was superb, being both action packed, angsty as fuck, & full of the best romance on a low simmer until it finally flares into full on yearning in adulthood. I loved every single minute, & I very much hope you will, too.

backfire by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115,570)

Thoughts: Please, please, please mind the tags. If any of them are triggers or squicks for you, I’d advise against this one. That said, I 100% loved it. No notes. The angst was heavy for sure, but the author’s notes clarified anything scary, & the major ouches were mostly off screen &/or not graphic.

Lan Zhan & Mo Xuanyu’s relationship was agonizing for me to read, but it was so obvious that Lan Zhan had been in love with Wei Ying all along (to everyone but Wei Ying, of course). I was glad Mo Xuanyu didn’t consider Lan Zhan’s feelings as infidelity even though Lan Zhan himself struggled with guilt over it. The author included the tag as a courtesy but clarified this in the author’s note. I can’t abide cheating, so I was grateful for it.

The slow burn was real, & I was mad with impatience by the time it actually got to any BDSM between Lan Zhan & Wei Ying. It was totally worth the wait, though. People who haven’t experienced spooky’s writing might be surprised by the depth of emotion in this work when it’s set in a world where BDSM roles are a biological trait, but I promise you this is a feature in ALL of their fics. They’re just saturated with feelings & absolutely gorgeously written. They’re my favorite Wangxian author for a reason, ha.

Caught in 4k series by KizuKatana (E, 184, 553)

Thoughts: This was brilliant & brutal at the same time. The sheer unfairness of the events surrounding Wei Ying’s expulsion from the Jiang sect was appalling. Yu Ziyuan was definitely villainized here, but it made sense & worked for the plot. It made me hate her even more than usual, but that was sort of the point, ha. Wen Qing was the real MVP with the way she went to bat for Wei Ying & basically adopted him into her family. It happened so naturally that no one even had time to question it or think about it too much. I loved his found family, as I always do.

Wei Ying & Lan Zhan butting heads so disastrously at first was rather dismaying after everything else Wei Ying had been through, but the way Lan Zhan fell for him so hard & so completely (as he tends to do, lol) more than made up for it. The social media aspects of this were both engaging & fun. I even enjoyed the extras, & sometimes I don’t bother reading those after a long fic if they don’t hook my interest with the summaries. I can’t recommend this highly enough. This author has quickly become one of my favorites.

#mdzs #the untamed #wangxian #lan zhan #wei ying #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wangxian fic rec #Temnurus rec list #bc what else do i have to do with my time #besides read fic of course #still drowning in the wangxian end of the swimming pool #but refusing to get out of the water #it feels fine

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moxley · 1 year

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A Heaven of Hell - Astarion/Tav (Non-Specific) - 3600

Best read on AO3!

Summary: Every time Haarlep uses your body, it's more intense. The shape of you is being learned. The sense of pleasure greater, but guiltier, too. It was a conversation you and Astarion were always going to need to have, someday: how to deal with it, how it makes you feel. You find there's a way forward that suits the both of you—something to satisfy Astarion's need to claw back autonomy for himself, too. You can make a gift out of this.

Notes: Hello there! Thanks for stopping by. Before getting into the fic, I want to stress that all of the tags I've used for this fic are completely accurate. Due to the way the story plays out, there's no need to address the shape of Tav's body, or the gender. I say 'Tav' here but the character goes entirely unnamed, too. It's choose your own adventure—this can be any Tadpoled Adventurer that you like. Please enjoy!

A Heaven of Hell

You’re in camp—in the tent—and you have that look on your face again. The one where your eyes press shut and you lean forward, knees pressing together, hoping that uninvited ecstasy can pass for something a little more along the lines of a panic attack, should anyone pass by. It’s not pretty, and certainly never free of embarrassment, this: Haarlep is using your body again, somewhere in the Hells.

You’re jolted halfway out of the feeling by the end of Astarion’s boot swinging into your knee, tapping the reflex spot. It’s an entirely different kind of nerve ending, and suitably distracts. He’s taken to doing this. Some jab or jolt to pull you back. It helps. You’ve never been so grateful for having a lover who’s willing to kick you.

“I can never decide if you look dreadful or not, when this happens,” he complains, accompanied by the suitably dramatic flumph! of throwing himself into the adjacent pile of pillows. He leans on his elbow. He looks up at you, and there’s a subtle crease between his eyebrows. He worries about this. About the toll.

You reach out and press your thumb to the crease. He tuts in protest and then turns his head, rolling his cheek into your palm, every inch a cat. Astarion kisses your palm, taking your wrist in his fingers. He likes to coax you gently, rarely aiming for anything more than your full attention. It’s soothing, but today, somewhere in the wash of sensation, it’s distracting, too.

You look at the shape of Astarion’s mouth and think about Haarlep’s hands—your hands—on stretches of unknown skin and feel tremendously guilty. You turn your hand so it’s holding Astarion’s, instead. Trying to push away the feeling. He notices, red eyes flicking up to you, watching you cautiously from under his eyelashes. He never wants to hurt you the way he’s been hurt.

You slide off the log stump that serves as a seat or a table depending on the day, ass scraping down the bark to settle in the dirt, and admit, “I can never decide if I feel dreadful or not.”

Astarion never quite disentangles his fingers from yours. He never moves closer, never moves further away. He’s here for you. For this. “Darling,” he says, in that soft and rounded way he does when he really means something, “you’re not at fault, if you enjoy it a little. It happens, like that.”

“I’m not?” You lean your head back against the log stump, rolling it to watch him. “It feels as though I should have some fault. We probably could’ve killed Haarlep—maybe we should have. It was my choice, to take a different path.”

“And what a path it was to watch,” Astarion muses, eyes briefly twinkling, something of the roguish lover in him coming to the fore. It catches your eye, but he keeps talking, waving his free hand delicately, as though trying to clear the self-blame from you like a little cloud of smoke. “I don’t know that we could’ve handled Haarlep and Raphael in the same afternoon, my sweet. It’s not as though we can go back to find out, either.”

You nod, and then circle back, delicately. Before speaking, you tap your tongue against your teeth, contemplating the best way to approach the subject. “We’ve never really talked about it.”

“Oh?” He’s being sarcastic, voice shifting flighty and a little shrill. “We haven’t discussed the incubus giving you a level of primal erotic thrill that I can only dream of? You know, I never noticed, I assumed we’d just resolved all our emotional malaise by melting Raphael’s skin off his handsome, boney skull.”

You stare at him and say nothing. Has he been so bruised, all this time?

Astarion relents, and the crease appears in his forehead again. “We haven’t had to talk about it. I’m not saying I’m thrilled with the whole thing, but I understand it. And it causes you enough problems without me expressing jealousy or inadequacy or … such,” he flicks non-existent dirt off his trousers, “tedious things.”

“You’re allowed to feel those things and I want you to talk to me about them,” you say, and then, abruptly, have to cover your mouth with your palm. Your other hand squeezes Astarion’s tightly, and a shudder wracks your body, hot pleasure directly between your thighs, rocking through you. It isn’t a full, physical orgasm—it’s Haarlep’s, after all, not yours—but it’s enough that you whimper, drawing your knees tightly together again.

When the feeling settles and you can open your eyes again, muscles relaxing, Astarion is closer, an indeterminate energy rolling off him. He cups your face, sincere, worried, and … something else. “Why does it seem more intense, each time it happens?”

“I think”—you pause, resenting your own breathlessness—“that the more Haarlep gets to know my body, the more adept they are at stimulating it.”

“Ah,” Astarion muses, “A skilled hand.” He makes a noise that reminds you of the owlbear cub, a strange, frustrated little growl. “What was it you were saying about my being able to express jealousy?”

You’re both caught in the web of this experience with Haarlep, you realise. The wrongness of it, the violation, the deal, your body copied and used. But, too, the feeling, and the memory, scents of the Hells, the perfumes of Raphael’s boudoir, all of it—arousal and terror all in tumultuous harmony.

You understand. Astarion resents that Haarlep has you, but he likes it, too. He resents himself in turn for liking it, as if he’s condoning something terrible happening to you. There must be a way forward that relieves you both of this.

You start small. “Tell me about the jealousy.”

Astarion’s eyes flicker warily over your face. “It’s silly.”

You say nothing.

“Ah—fine. I love you. I like to hold hands, and spoon, and only sometimes have a night of passion, rather than often or always. However … I rather like seeing you be treated the way you deserve.” His eyes rove over you. “What I’m less fond of is being excluded. Feeling left behind, superfluous. When you were under Haarlep, I just happened to be there, rather than invited …”

He trails off, mouth pursing. This is difficult for him. You could respond in a number of ways. You could kiss his mouth, pull him close. You could apologise, but you don’t think that he really wants that. You could vow to always include him in your trysts in future, given that you do have such things, from time to time. You could even be accusatory, demand explanations, ignore that you understand the strange way you—you and him—can both hate something and enjoy it.

None of them seem quite right. You have always done this, thought too much, too carefully about how to answer Astarion, but you think you have the measure of him, finally, and maybe the measure of yourself, too. A little assurance, first. “You’re not inadequate, you should know that. I’ll always have you exactly as you are.”

“I know that,” he says, although he doesn’t. Astarion is looking down at your joined hands. He needs the reassurance. His shoulders lower, a tension he might have been aware he was carrying but won’t admit to. He rolls one shoulder a little. “Thank you anyway.”

“Next time this happens to me, do you … want to watch?”

He looks at you sharply. He’s repressing interest at the idea, you can tell, the mixed uncertainty making him antsy, shifting where he’s sitting. A little wild eyed with possibility, a little baffled. You’re offering him more than he’s ever been offered before. Did he think it was all or nothing? That he had to be intimate with you or be doomed to watch you go behind a curtain with Haarlep, Halsin, beautiful Drow twins, forever?

His mouth opens and closes and then, finally, he asks, “Are you sure? I used to try and enjoy it, too. It made me miserable.”

“This is different. You were alone. We have each other now.” You struggle to sit more upright, rubbing your free hand over your face, looking at him. “It might be,” you start, exhaling heavily, “the best way forward, for both of us. I know it might not work out, giving over—trying to enjoy it—but I want to try. And you can watch, see it happen.” It could be the assuage to guilt that you need. It could be the balm to this situation. To make it yours, make it his, make it something shared and held. Pointedly, “You can enjoy yourself, as well.”

“And if Haarlep calls on you sometime when we’re marauding in the woods, all manner of beasts and aggrieved folk at our throats?”

“Then,” you say, “I suppose we’ll have to finish whatever fight we’re in fast.”

***

It doesn’t happen when you’re marauding in the woods, or in the middle of a fight, for that matter. Instead, the next initial shivers come of a late summer’s evening, moving between buildings, navigating the alleys of the Lower City, breathing in the smells—awful and beautiful in turn—of Baldur’s Gate. This is your home, for both of you. You walk the nights palm-in-palm here with Astarion.

You stop, putting a hand on the wall and exhaling heavily, eyes closing. You feel Astarion’s hand on your lower back. He crowds you, worried at first, and then he says, “Our devilish friend?”

“Yes,” you gasp, heart starting to pound, your body taken with shivers; the feeling of unfamiliar fingers undoing clothes that do not match your own. Haarlep’s lover is practised, almost tender, knows and wants this body well. Or perhaps it’s Haarlep’s direction giving life to the delicacy of touch that makes your skin flush warm under your clothes. “It’s too much, this time.”

“Let’s get you out of here.” Astarion has a protective streak that he doesn’t often show. You’ve seen it in battle, and different threads of conversation. He stands up for you. He wants the best for you. He has been learning how to want these things, for you and for him, ever since you met.

You appreciate the thought, but in the haze of feeling, you take hold of his hand. You turn your head towards him. In the gloom, his eyes almost glow. “Do you still want to watch?”

“Do I—?” Astarion sounds startled, like you’re asking him something ridiculous, but then: “What do you have in mind?”

Not everyone can see in the dark. And in the Lower City, you can get away with a lot. There are so many little nooks and crannies. At the end of this alley, there’s a set of wooden steps you can lead Astarion down. You do just that. You go under the stairs, backing yourself up against a wall.

There’s a palpable ache between your thighs. It’s not just Haarlep. It’s the way Astarion is looking at you. He follows you into the dark, into this place both public and secluded, and he looks curious and hungry. “Here,” you whisper, and he draws close, not quite touching, hovering into your space as though there’s an inch of invisible barrier between you.

A hand, somewhere on another plane, is deft and nimble, presses up the inside of your thigh. You let your weight sag against the wall, and part your legs. Astarion’s eyes follow the movement. He braces his hands on the wall either side of you, tilting his head as he watches. “Tell me what’s being done to you.”

Lovers have trysts in the dark of the city all the time, but somehow you think nobody else has ever had anything quite like this, palpable and real pleasure with all your clothes on, pinned deliciously under your lover’s gaze but not his hands. Your breath shudders before you can speak. “They’re touching the insides of my thighs. They’re taking their time with me.”

“As they should,” Astarion remarks. “At least it sounds like Haarlep is a good teacher.” He’s realised the same thing as you: nobody is going to be this good at touching you without practice or instruction. Your head tilts back against the wall. Astarion’s voice reaches into you as much as distant, planes-away hands do, shifting into a low purr. “Keep talking, darling. I want to know you’re with me.”

“I’m here,” you assure him, “I’m—oh—“ Elsewhere, there’s pressure, no longer between your thighs but teasing up your sides, over your chest. Hands pressing. The faint sensation of pointed nails sparking up your skin. Claws. You wonder just who Haarlep is making love to, but only for a moment. It’s Astarion in front of you, watching the rise and fall of your breathing, his pupils huge in the dark. The intensity of his gaze matches the phantom touch. You rush to catch up, whilst you can still speak. “Hands over my body. Claws. Being played like a lyre. Gods, Astarion, you’re beautiful.”

“I was going to say the same to you,” he murmurs. His gaze is starving, but this contents him, you realise. All the benefits of watching your pleasure, and none of the drawbacks that still exist for him, none of the fear, the far away look he sometimes gets. He is present. He is with you as much as you are with him.

It’s glorious to be seen, and it makes it easier to relax into the feeling, to moan when feeling intensifies, to whimper when you know that something is inside Haarlep—stoking all your fires and nerves, making your skin break out in flushes and trickles of sweat. Your hips roll towards nothing, wanting, begging for a friction that isn’t going to come.

And you can see that Astarion is aching. His breathing comes quick and fast, his mouth half-open with desire. In the heat of when you’ve had each other completely, you’ve never quite been able to take in all the details of him as you do now. The both of you are fully clothed and yet you feel stripped, vulnerable, and you can tell he does, too.

The city falls away around you. This could be a forest, a bedroom, the tent in camp. It could be a crowded room and you wouldn’t notice. There is nothing but you, Astarion, the wash of sensation, the push-pull that drags you ever closer to shore, arousal a swelling tide. You have spent so much time feeling guilty for sensation imposed on you. No more. This is yours, now. You take ownership of what’s happening to you and it becomes a precious thing to share with Astarion.

“Fuck me,” you gasp, more exultant exclamation than a request, spine arching off the cool brick behind you. Astarion growls, a quiet frustrated sound. You look him over, you look at the need he carries—the tempting bulge between his thighs—and you want to touch him, but there’s no way that wouldn’t be a strange breach of this agreement. For you to feel, for him to watch. But you did agree that he would enjoy himself. You realise: he’s waiting for permission. Maybe he thinks it would be uncouth if he didn’t wait. “I want to see you,” you say, voice thin with all your wanting. “I want to watch you watching me, Astarion—please—“

“Darling,” he says, faint and soft strain in his voice. One hand drops from the wall to undo the fastens of his trousers, and at first his fingers disappear inside them; there’s a momentary devastation, being denied what you want to see, but his mouth opening further, spit-slick fangs shining in the dark, the sound he makes—that all more than makes up for it. An almost wounded sound, but not hurt, more like … new pleasure. Different. He is exploring himself freely, unburdened by the need to make someone else happy.

He is, though. Making you happy. Hot, lava hot, arousal pours down your spine to watch him, and only grows when he finishes undoing the fastens and you can see his beautiful fingers touching himself. There’s glistening fluid leaking over his fingers. He uses it to slick the path of his hand. He’s panting, now, watching you, watching him, watching you.

You remember the first time you went to bed with him. That was great. This, without touching, with all your clothes still on and his mostly, is phenomenal. There’ll be time to reclaim the space of each other’s bodies together. This is the first real step. This is as intimate as you’ve been—in an alleyway in your shared city.

The feeling of being taken intensifies. If you wanted to focus on it, you suspect you might be able to work out exactly the position Haarlep is being pressed into, from the way that your muscles feel sore and stretched the longer this goes on. They’re being worn out. Used. You can feel every part of it, and although you had thought you might need help yourself along, you understand now that you won’t need to—particularly with Astarion as such a rich sight for your eyes.

You think not about Astarion touching you, or having you, but about the things you have always found attractive about him. His hands, gorgeous now as he touches himself. The thatch of silver hair. The pallor of his skin, the lines around his mouth. The soft moans you both exchange—his voice, strained by desire, is everything. You could listen to him all day. To watch him in motion and know that he’s yours—not ownership, but partnership, mutual belonging—is revelatory.

You whine his name. He locks eyes with you, eyelids fluttering drunkenly. You’re in tandem, getting closer. When Haarlep finds release, you will too, but this time it will be yours, unashamed, unburdened. You don’t have enough air in your chest to tell Astarion any of this, but he knows it. You don’t have enough air in your chest to tell him what a pretty mess he’s making, either, but you hope the starving moans do the trick.

If anyone sees you now, it doesn’t matter. Let them look.

Astarion breaks, startling himself, gasping, shocked, ruined, taken by surprise by the force of how good it can be when you’re truly in charge of your own desire. His nails scrape the brickwork. Hot fluid splashes over his fingers, on your clothes, and he works himself through it with a needy, desperate sound that shapes up as your name, over and over.

And then you come. Not Haarlep. You were both on the edge of it, but you shatter first, here, all by yourself, untouched in reality—thighs trembling, knees wanting so badly to buckle. Watching Astarion, knowing how much he has enjoyed watching you, has brought you to the brink and then over it, ecstatic, having to cover your mouth because you are being far too loud, even for a dingy Lower City alleyway, even as secluded as you are. Heat comes in waves.

And then, again. It is Haarlep’s turn this time, and it’s so good but it hurts, ricochets of electricity all over. Your vision blurs out, but Astarion has you, suddenly, his hand on your face, your waist, his body pressed close to yours, supporting your frame as you shudder through a second, forced—but nevertheless welcome—orgasm. You whimper “Astarion,” you take huge gulping breaths of air, you come down to the earth in his grasp.

The connection to the Hells drifts away. All there is, all there ever really was and ever needs to be, is you and Astarion, skin too warm, the night air cool, sweat making your clothes stick, his smell in your mouth. You and Astarion. Physical and real. Not even needing to touch to love each other.

“Oh, well then,” you exhale.

Astarion hums agreement, with a little tittering giggle.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Gods, please.”

Tangling closer, then, to kiss Astarion, something delightful in how it can be chaste in the wake of orgasm and yet your mouths can still be open enough that you can feel his teeth, taste his tongue. To kiss each other seems to settle something in both of you, ritualistic, calming. At his invitation, you help Astarion get his clothes back in order. This secluded corner, under the steps, together, is somehow so private and intimate that you feel emotion making your eyes prickle damply.

With your breath caught, you can work your way around to a question. The only one that matters, really, small and trite as it is. “Was that alright?”

Astarion gives you a look. Then knows he needs to speak, that an eyeball of Obviously, darling isn’t going to cut it, not right now, not in this precarious post-haze state. “It was magnificent. You really are marvellous to watch.” His thumb skims your cheek. “Are you alright?”

“I feel as though we’ve taken the whole curse away from Haarlep.” Which is to say, yes. Overwhelmed, but yes, you’re alright. “If we can do that—keep making it ours—then I am. And I’ll continue to be.”

“Alright.” Astarion is searching your face, making sure you’re not lying for his behalf; honesty has become so important here, and he doesn’t doubt you specifically, but he does doubt. Internally, externally. You know he’s satisfied when he kisses you again. “Now, will you please let me get you out of here?”

“Yes.” Pause. “I need to change my underwear.”

Astarion’s smug laugh carries you home.

#astarion x mc #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion fic #my fic #baldur's gate 3

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 1 year

Text

Stay Pt. 1

Warnings: Nothing really explicit. Cheating. Infidelity. Bad marriage mentioned briefly. Relationship issues.

Summary: It's been a long time since Y/N felt this way.

Pairings: Dean x Y/N

Word Count: 416

A/N: This was written for @deanwanddamons Rock SPN Flash Fan Fic Challenge 3. I was given the song Run to You by Bryan Adams. I switched the roles in the song. Here, it's the woman who's unhappy in her relationship and desperate for someone else. But I feel like the sentiments are the same, and that it evokes the feeling of the song. 😊 Thanks for hosting this challenge once again, my dear! I love them!

A/N 2: This is a part one of a 5 part story. But this one part can also act as a stand alone drabble for the challenge. ❤️

Series Masterlist

The beautiful dividers below and at the bottom were created by @talesmaniac89

It started innocently. She never planned it. He was just so beautiful, and it had been so long since someone had looked at her that way. He smiled at her and she could see the wicked thoughts brewing behind his eyes.

His stunning emerald eyes.

He was an FBI agent asking questions about some murders that had taken place in the hotel she worked at. They'd been gruesome, and she'd been afraid to go back to work. Her husband ignored her and simply said she was being melodramatic.

But Dean assured her she wasn't.

"Nothin' wrong with some good, healthy fear. Keeps you sharp." He told her in his deep, gravelly voice. " Might save your life one day."

A few days later he showed up on her doorstep, reassuring her that he and his partner had caught the bad guy and she was safe. She was grateful and invited him in for a coffee before he headed back to D.C. She had no intentions of anything more.

Then he sat beside her on the couch, and he smelled so good, and instead of a suit this time, he was wearing jeans and a plaid flannel shirt over a t-shirt and under a green canvas jacket. It occurred to her that he was wearing far too many layers. She stood up, intending to take his jacket for him, and instead shocked herself by straddling his lap.

He stared up at her with surprise that quickly turned to heat; he hooked his thick fingers into her belt loops and tugged her forward so she was flush against him.

"You sure about this, sweetheart. I don't usually fool around with married women."

But even as he spoke, he moved his hand up under the hem of her t-shirt to run his big hand over her back. He unsnapped her bra effortlessly and she gasped and then bit into her lip, before answering breathlessly.

“I’m sure, I mean, I think I’m sure.”

His hands stilled immediately and he looked up at her intensely. “You need to decide, Y/N. Say the word and I’m gone.”

There were voices in her mind telling her that she was being immoral, that she was cheating, that no matter how awful her marriage had become, this was wrong. But they were drowned out by her screaming need for the man beneath her. She rolled her hips against him and her panties flooded at the harsh groan that left his sinful mouth.

“No, stay.”

Tags below the cut:

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays.

@lyarr24

@deans-spinster-witch

@impalaslytherin

@maggiegirl17

@akshi8278

@candy-coated-misery0731

@deanswaywardgirl

@slytherinlyn314

@globetrotter28

@jensensgirl

@perpetualabsurdity

@tristanrosspada-ackles

@djs8891

@muhahaha303

@kayyay1219

@emily-winchester

@recoveringpastaaddict

@maximumkillshot

@mimaria420

@sacriceria

@envyaurora95

@lacilou

@jc-winchester

@spnwoman

2 - Dean Winchester Fics Only.

@carryonwaywardgirl

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.)

@kazsrm67

@sexyvixen7

@alexxavicry

@nancymcl

@spalady26

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well)

@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men

@maliburenee

@supernatural4life2022

@spn730015

@kickingitwithkirk

@waywardbaby

@foxyjwls007

@deanwanddamons

@deandreamernp

@deanwithscissors

@myloversgone

@snowlovespie

@leigh70

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

@charred-angelwings

@hopefuldreamers-world

@jensensgotyoudean

@thoughts-and-funnies

@magssteenkamp

@princessmisery666

@eevvvaa

@mishkatelwarriorgoddess

@waynes-multiverse

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@bernasaurus

@jensenslady79

@courtn92

@avanatural

@ellie-andthemachine

@this-is-me19

@roseblue373

@katbratsupernaturalwhore

@fanfic-n-tabulous

#dean x y/n #dean x reader #dean winchester fan fiction #deanwanddamonsrockflashfic3 #tw: cheating

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twosides--samecoin · 16 hours

Note

Hi!! Happy weekend! I’d love to hear about some of your ocs headcanons 🍬🌻💩 :]

Here's Jack and Olivia, 2/3 of Long Time Running's main cast - with a bonus heacanon unique to my Dogmeat! You can read the fic -> here <-

Jack Ward is my canon M!SoSu. He was a professional boxer and retired when he was conscripted for the Anchorage campaign and sent to FoB Juneau.

When Med-Tek failed, Jack pushed RJ on a vertibird destined for Vault 150 - a remote Canadian Vault that tested Duncan's illness on its residents. Two weeks later, Olivia Dallaire, my OC F!SoSu, stepped out of a vertibird and onto the hill overlooking Sanctuary and Boston. She'd be an Olympic judoka if there was still Olympics.

🍬On the topic of family: One of the themes in my fic is about the intersection and contrast between found family and adoption as well as miscommunication. Jack sees a younger version of himself in Olivia, but in a subversion of the failed-coach-training-his-actually-promising-protege trope, Jack had the title fight successes and Olivia really never will. All the same, he takes a shine to her. After meeting Father at the Institute, Jack let go of the idea of recovering his family. When he met Olivia, he felt like, "My god, this is the child Nora and I were supposed to have". Problem is, she's uh, a grown-ass 23 year-old woman. Who just immigrated to a different country and has her own trauma to unpack. And the sudden reemergence of his want to be a dad is moving faster than his ability to discuss being family with her. He faces serious role strain between his best friendship with RJ and the fatherhood he feels toward Olivia when he sees RJ differently as he begins to feel protective over her.

💩 Something ridiculous: My Dogmeat can break the fourth wall. The characters cannot hear him in the fic, but the reader can read his thoughts. One of my childhood fave movies is All Dogs Go To Heaven. The main dog is a German Shepherd, voiced by Burt Reynolds. This is how I hear him.

I was born in '94, so those 80's-90's "talking animal" genre movies were really formative for me. Anastasia, An American Tail - themes of lost family, adventure, immigration. Even RJ's story has strong Secrets of NIMH parallels. I'd reached a point where my fic felt self-serious, like it was so grounded in harsh reality and dumpster fire mental health that I forgot to have fun. Saluting Don Bluth by imagining Charlie B. Barkin and Anne-Marie the Orphan as Dogmeat and Olivia was me throwing my hands up and saying, "Fine! Fuck it! We can have fun!"

🌼 Happiness, how'd you get to be happiness: Lately, getting to know each other has been a source of happiness for both Jack and Olivia. Jack as the canon SoSu has all the problems we do when we play the game - wrangling several warring factions that all expect his presence; ignoring Father/the Institute; managing a small empire of settlements. Olivia as the SoSu of her own Vault is navigating immigration and being around people again. The heart-meltingest fluff I have published so far is father-daughter moments. Excerpt below the cut!

Long Time Running Chapter 13: Sabré Olvidar:

Jack glanced at Olivia’s marigold cable-knit sweater and jeans, rolled up at the cuffs. He realized most of her clothing from home that wasn’t her Vault suit was oversized and patched several times over.

A deep flush of sadness erupted within. He coughed and returned to the topic of conversation. “Well, um.. What.. What do you think of the animals you let go?”

“I just thank them for giving me a pretty view. I mean, just look at them.” She let go of their hug and stepped back. “If you look at it like this, the window makes them look like a painting.”

She beamed at the radstag pair - four heads and too many legs.

Jack obliged the request and stepped back. The window framed the radstags, trees and tall grasses well, like a living photograph. He appreciated the scene with the same intensity as a painting in a museum.

He broke his gaze away and looked around at the cabin. “Well.. What brings us down here today, anyway?” he asked.

“I was thinking,” she turned away from the radstags. “Um, there wasn’t anyone here last time I visited, and there’s no one here now, and.. Y’know, it’s pretty close to town.. Does anyone own this place?”

“Truth be told, Miss Olivia,” he replied. “I don’t think anyone’s taken interest in this cabin since the bombs fell. Doesn’t seem to me like anyone owns it.”

She wrung her hands and shifted her weight as she looked around. “Um.. can I..”

Jack awaited the question with patience and a smile. “Yes?”

“Can I have it? Please?” she pleaded.

His heart melted anew. Oh, Jesus, not that face, not that face. He decided to mess with her and put on an apprehensive tone. “I dunno.. It’s a big responsibility, being a homeowner..”

She hung on his every word with wide-eyed worry.

“The cost for materials, the labor.. In this economy, too.. Ouch.” He grimaced, both to ham up the theatrics and to force his mouth away from a smile.

“I-I’ll work, I’ll get a job, I promise-”

He could no longer keep up the act. “Oh, fine, sure. It’s yours!”

Olivia gasped and threw her arms around Jack’s torso. Coffee spilled out of her mug with a graceful dive and landed on the floor with an audible splash.

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you- Oh, I have so much work to do-” she let go of Jack and listed the repairs. “I need a door and I have to clean the fireplace and I need to find new windows and-”

Jack beamed as she bounced around the room. Her braid whipped through the air as she tallied up her needs. Getting to know his little bundle of contradictions was fun.

“-nails and lumber and.. And that spot on the porch that’s sagging.. I have a lot to do if I want this ready for winter.”

“Alright, then, that settles it,” he said. “Let’s get a move on.”

“Where to?” she asked.

“Well, like you said, winter’s on the way. Let’s get building.”

She smiled, somehow wider than her smile already was. “Yeah! Let’s do it!”

She ran out the door and jumped off the stairs instead of walking down. “Where can we go shopping for supplies?” she asked, turning back to him.

Jack followed and took the steps as normal. “We’ll see what we have in Sanctuary before we look elsewhere. I’ll have to get you a workbench down here.”

Olivia hopped and skipped ahead. “My own workbench, I-”

She wasn’t watching her step and nearly tripped.

«Tabarnak!» she swore. Olivia threw her hands up in mock-offense. “Who put this root here, eh?”

She laughed off the transgression, tucked the stem of the hubflower behind her ear and turned her pirate smile toward Sanctuary.

Jack Ward, ol’ 111 himself, was thoroughly charmed. Miss Olivia Dallaire contained multitudes.

Sweet, funny, capable, sensitive. A reader, a fighter, an animal-lover and an occasional jokester who stopped to smell the roses.

He remembered the leadup to Arturo’s last title fight, when he lived at the house with Jack and Nora.

One night in the later stages of her pregnancy, Nora laid on the couch as Arturo and Jack sat on the floor surrounded by the pieces of a yet-to-be constructed crib.

Arturo lectured their unborn child on the syntax, phonetics and style guide of French Canadian cursing.

«Esti de câlice de tabarnak!» Arturo exclaimed. "That is what we say when the baby crib is hard to build! You better like it!"

Jack wiped a tear from his cheek as he followed Olivia to Sanctuary.

Arturo would have been so proud to be your uncle. So proud.

#thanks for the ask!#jack ward #olivia dallaire #fic excerpt #snippet #my writing #my art #fallout screenshots

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manawari · 9 months

Note

Girl, girl, we assumed "Wildest Dreams" to be Jinhae's anthem, but what about other ships? 👀 Any thoughts on which songs would fit them?

Hey! Do you know there's another song that can be Jinhae's anthem? Not Letting Go — You caught me at the end of all my rope. Show me all the light I'd never known. And I'm not letting, not letting go. Every wall I built for years you broke. Black and white world, you're a whole rainbow. And I'm not letting, not letting go~

And for other ships? Hmm, I have some ideas—

Choibaek:

"Strawberries And Cigarettes" by Troye Sivan → this is just a personal choice of mine. Particularly because of the "cigarettes" part which is associated with Jong-in a lot. And also, part of this song is a fic I will never get to write 😅. Plus, it's the whole ✨ vibe ✨ — Yoon-ho smelling strawberries and cigarettes in his suit after being in a car alone with Jong-in to release some pent up stress from work. Them realizing that they're more than just rivals, yet don't know how to act on it until they almost kiss, leaving Yoon-ho pray to give his heart a holiday. Plus, I'm a firm believer of Choibaek pining over each other intensely:>

"Taste" by Stray Kids → I BLAME STORM ON THIS ONE. She posted a video for the Solo Leveling Boyband AU, and since then, I can't imagine Choibaek having the same tension as this song has. Jong-in is literally a fire mage, don't you think he can make anything he touches hot?

"Don't let me love you" by Stray Kids → Storm sent me this when we were brainrotting about the Choibaek exes AU. I can imagine both Jong-in and Yoon-ho being in denial of their feelings because they're still stuck in the mindset of their rivalry and how much they hate each other.

Minlee:

"Enchanted" by Taylor Swift → this is technically my go-to Minlee anthem. Minlee is what I call "beautiful what-if" — two souls with shattered pasts had been brought together and healers who learned to heal each other. Romance between hunters is amazing and cool and breathtaking, but a romance between healers? It's like you're stepping into a shrine and you hear a distant echo of someone singing. I forever live with the fact that both Ju-hee and Byung-gyu will feel "enchanted" of meeting each other — can you imagine meeting someone who mirrors your soul and understands the pain you've gone through? Someone who won't let you break down again? Someone who won't make you worry?

Woozhi:

"Taste" by Stray Kids → need me to elaborate?

"Midnight Rain" by Taylor Swift → ZHIGANG IS SUNSHINE JIN-CHUL IS MIDNIGHT RAIN—

Sungyoo:

I can't remember a lot of songs that share the same vibe as Jin-ho and Jin-ah. Though, I imagine songs that are similar to "Paper Rings" — cute, sweet, fit for youthful romances like Jin-ah and Jin-ho.

Sungpark:

"Betelgeuse" by Yuuri → I'm not going to place the entire translated lyrics, otherwise the post would be too long than it should haha! Anyways, one of the stanzas that fit Ill-hwan and Kyung-hye: "we found each other, pulled towards each other, under the same sky. When we shine, we'll do it together, so we promised. Far and away, a never-ending Betelgeuse. Magic that connects one to another." — I don't think this needs to be elaborated either:')

Heeseok:

Yes. I can't get enough of this couple now! The more I think of Eun-seok, the more canon he feels. He's not some forgotten SL character to me anymore. Pairing him with Hee-jin just came out of the blue, but it's not like I'll be sorry when they already stole my heart from brainrots!

"Can't Stop Loving You" by Toya Takase (ft. Emi Noda) → fun fact: this is the song I used for inspiration in my 1st Heeseok fic under the same title. It gives me the idea that regardless of whatever Eun-seok is, Hee-jin can't bring herself to stop loving him, especially when he's still that cute gentle and kind hunter in spite of his flaws. You might not understand the whole lyrics, but you can feel the main point of the song, as well in the title:).

#manawari talks

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sicknessbysalem · 1 month

Note

wait i want to meet mercury! is there any fics in the works right now for him? i love meeting new character, plus i think it would be interesting to see how julian or saylor (whoever is most likely) look after him. if you want to write that, please do!!

oh i love mercury! he’s one of my favorites (and one of my oldest ocs, mind you. in terms of how long i’ve had him.)

i decided on both saylor and julian but used a lot of this fic to introduce mercury and add some more lore into their story.

if you have any more requests, questions, comments, concerns, etc., send them my way!

tw emeto, panic attacks, anxiety, i think that’s it?

Mercury had been tossing and turning for what felt like hours, unable to find a comfortable position. His stomach felt unsettled, a gnawing discomfort that he couldn't quite pinpoint.

It wasn't painful, exactly—just a persistent, uneasy feeling that something wasn't right. Maybe from dinner, maybe because he was tored, maybe becauae he’d been laying awake for hours and the last time he put something in his stomach except water was close to eight hours ago. Mercury didn’t know, and he hated it.

As a mechanical engineering student, Mercury was used to dealing with complex problems, but this was one he couldn't figure out. He finally gave up on sleep, pushing his covers aside and sitting up slowly, hoping that the change in position might help. Maybe he could study, maybe he could do something.

The room was dark, the only light coming from the faint glow of the digital clock on his desk.

2:13 AM. Too early to be awake, but too late to be doing anything about it.

Mercury sighed and ran a hand through his disheveled hair, trying to shake off the fog of sleep that still clung to him.

As he sat there, the uneasy feeling in his stomach began to worsen. A cold sweat broke out across his skin, and he felt a strange, unsettling sensation in the back of his throat.

His heart rate picked up, a sense of urgency creeping in. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, swaying slightly as a wave of dizziness hit him.

Something was definitely wrong.

Mercury made his way to the bathroom, his steps unsteady. He opened the door quietly, not wanting to wake Julian or the others in the suite. The bathroom light was harsh, and he squinted against it as he stepped inside, closing the door softly behind him.

At first he closed the door and leaned against it, taking a few deep breaths. Maybe standing would help, maybe splashing some cold water on his face out, maybe he had some medicine to help, but help what?

He wasn't sure what he expected to happen, but as soon as he saw the toilet, his body seemed to make the decision for him.

Without warning, his stomach clenched violently, and he was suddenly overcome with the need to vomit. He barely had time to drop to his knees before the first wave of sickness hit him, his body lurching forward as he retched into the toilet.

The force of it surprised him, and he gasped between heaves, his throat burning as the acidic taste filled his mouth. He hadn’t expected to vomit, and it was so sudden…

His body continued to convulse, each retch more intense than the last. He felt his stomach pull in and if he focused hard enough he could feel the acid and remains of dinner move up from his gut into his throat. He clung to the rim of the toilet, his knuckles white as he tried to steady himself.

Despite his best efforts to be quiet, the sound of his retching echoed in the small bathroom. Mercury tried to stifle the noise, but his body betrayed him, the sickness too sudden and overwhelming to control. Luckily, he was never a loud vomiter, not like Julian for sure. But there was a lot, and he was sure his ability to somewhat control how much noise he was making would wear off.

His stomach seemed intent on expelling everything, leaving him weak and trembling as he continued to vomit, coughing a few times as his body wasn’t sure what to do exactly.

Julian, lying in his bed on the other side of the shared wall, stirred at the sound of movement. In his half-asleep state, he assumed it was one of their suitemates using the bathroom and dismissed it, turning over to try and get back to sleep.

The muffled noises didn't fully register with him, his mind too groggy to make the connection that something might be wrong.

Back in the bathroom, Mercury's body finally began to relent, the retching slowing down as his stomach emptied itself. He panted heavily, resting his forehead against his palm, the cool porcelain of the toilet digging into his elbow.

His whole body felt shaky, and he could feel the cold sweat clinging to his skin. The suddenness of it all left him disoriented and drained.

He stayed there for a moment, gathering what little strength he had left before reaching for the toilet handle and flushing. The sound seemed louder than usual in the quiet of the night, and he winced as it echoed in the small space.

Mercury leaned back, sitting on the cool tile floor and resting his head against the wall toward their room, trying to steady his breathing. He couldn’t stay here. He had to move, back to bed.

His stomach still felt unsettled, but the worst seemed to be over. He closed his eyes, trying to process what had just happened. He hadn't been feeling well, but he hadn't expected to get sick so suddenly. Whatever was going on, it wasn't good, and he knew he needed to figure out what was wrong.

For now, though, all he could do was sit there, too drained to move, hoping that the worst of it was over.

The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains as Julian made his way to the small kitchenette in their suite, rubbing the last remnants of sleep from his eyes.

He still felt groggy, the early hour and the remnants of a strange dream hanging over him. The memory of hearing something in the bathroom during the night lingered, but in the light of day, it seemed less significant.

He got ready. A shower, brushed his teeth, changed. He’d knocked on Alex and Tyler’s door to see if they were up, and when they didn’t seem to be he simply continued on.

Julian glanced at Mercury’s bed. His roommate wasn’t there, which was strange. But all of his class stuff were gone, so Julian figured he was in the lab early or in the library, maybe the dining hall if he was lucky.

Julian didn’t see him in the dining hall as he grabbed some fruit. Alex and Tyler came over to get their breakfast too, looking equally tired but ready to face the day.

"Morning, guys," Julian greeted them with a yawn.

"Morning," Alex replied, running a hand through his messy hair. Tyler nodded in greeting as he headed to the coffee maker, clearly in need of caffeine.

As they all settled into the routine of their morning, Julian couldn't help but think back to the noise he had heard in the middle of the night.

It had sounded like someone was in the bathroom for a while, but it had been too muffled for him to be sure. He glanced up at Alex and Tyler, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Hey, did either of you get up in the middle of the night?" Julian asked, trying to sound casual. "I thought I heard someone in the bathroom, for like… ever.”

Alex shook his head, reaching for a granola bar. "Nope, I slept like a rock. Didn't get up at all."

Tyler, now sipping on his coffee, furrowed his brow in thought. "Yeah, I don't think I got up either. I was out cold until my alarm went off."

Julian frowned slightly, swirling his spoon around in his cereal. "Weird. I must have imagined it, or maybe it was someone across the hall."

"Maybe," Alex shrugged, not thinking much of it. "Could've been anything. You were probably just half-asleep and heard something."

Julian nodded, trying to brush off the lingering feeling of unease. "Yeah, probably. I just remember hearing something. Maybe it was a dream."

The conversation shifted to more mundane topics as they continued with breakfast, but Julian couldn't fully shake the thought from his mind.

It had felt real, but with Alex and Tyler both saying they hadn't been up, he figured it was just his mind playing tricks on him. Still, the memory of the muffled noises lingered, like an itch he couldn't quite scratch.

As the morning went on, Julian tried to focus on the day ahead, pushing the strange event to the back of his mind.

Mercury hadn't been around yet. Julian made a mental note to check in with him later. For now, he had classes to get to, and there was no point in dwelling on what was likely nothing.

But as he gathered his things and prepared to leave, a small part of him couldn't help but wonder if there was more to it. The feeling was fleeting, easily dismissed in the bustle of the morning, but it lingered just enough to keep him on edge.

Mercury sat at his desk, his hands gripping the edges of the table as he tried to focus on the lecture. The words of the professor seemed to blur together, fading in and out of his consciousness.

His stomach churned relentlessly, each wave of nausea growing stronger than the last. It had been bad enough when he woke up in the middle of the night, but now, in the harsh light of day, the sickness felt ten times worse.

He had forced himself to attend the class he shared with Saylor, determined not to fall behind.

Mechanical engineering was demanding, and missing even one class, whether it was a required class for all students or a class required for his program,could set him back.

But as he sat there, struggling to keep his head up, Mercury was beginning to realize that pushing through might not have been the best idea.

Saylor sat a few seats away, her focus mostly on the lecture, but every now and then, she would glance at Mercury, sensing that something was off.

He was usually so focused in class, but today he seemed distant, his skin pale and clammy. She noticed how he kept swallowing hard, his Adam's apple bobbing as if he was trying to keep something down.

It wasn't like him to look so unsteady, but Saylor decided to keep her thoughts to herself, not wanting to embarrass him by asking if he was okay in front of everyone.

Mercury tried to concentrate on the professor's words, but his body was betraying him. His head throbbed with a dull ache, his vision occasionally blurring as he fought to stay present.

The lights in the room felt too bright, piercing through his skull and adding to his discomfort. He could feel the sweat trickling down the back of his neck, his shirt sticking to his skin in a way that made him feel even more trapped in his own body.

His stomach twisted violently, and he gritted his teeth, trying to force the sensation back down. Each breath was a struggle, the air feeling too thick as he tried to steady himself. His hands trembled slightly, and he clenched them into fists, hoping that the tightness would ground him somehow.

Saylor saw that. Maybe he was anxious. She knew Mercury had social anxiety, if not anxiety as a whole. Julian told her that. Maybe it was just a rough day, Saylor knew how that could be. She shrugged it off. Maybe that’s what felt so weird.

The nausea that had been simmering all morning suddenly surged, catching him off guard. Mercury's eyes widened as a sharp, acidic taste filled his mouth.

His stomach lurched, and he could feel the bile rising, burning the back of his throat. Panic set in as he realized he wasn't going to be able to hold it back.

Without a word, Mercury pushed his chair back and bolted from the classroom. The sudden movement made his head spin, but he didn't have time to think about it.

He barely made it into the hallway before the first violent heave hit him, thank everything it stayed contained but he knew it wouldn’t for much longer.

He stumbled toward the nearest bathroom, his hand clamped over his mouth as he tried to keep from vomiting all over the floor.

He burst into the bathroom, barely managing to throw himself into a stall before he doubled over the toilet. The force of the vomiting was immediate and overwhelming, his body convulsing as it expelled everything in his stomach.

The sound echoed off the tiled walls, harsh and unforgiving, and Mercury could do nothing but hang on as his body continued to betray him.

His throat burned with each retch, the taste of bile making him gag even more. His vision swam, and he could feel the sweat pouring down his face, his body shaking with the effort of being sick.

He panted heavily between heaves, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he tried to get a handle on the situation. But the nausea was relentless, each wave hitting him harder than the last.

Back in the classroom, Saylor had noticed Mercury's sudden departure, but she didn't follow. She had seen the look on his face just before he left, the unmistakable signs of someone about to be sick.

She knew Mercury well enough to know that he didn't want an audience for something like this, and she respected his need for privacy. Instead, she focused on the lecture, making a mental note to check on him later.

Mercury finally slumped against the stall wall, his body spent and weak. His head throbbed in time with his racing heart, and he could feel the tears of frustration and exhaustion prickling at the corners of his eyes. He had tried so hard to push through, but now he was left feeling worse than ever.

He stayed there for a few minutes, trying to gather the strength to move. His whole body felt drained, every muscle aching from the violent retching.

The nausea had subsided slightly, but it was still there, a constant reminder of how sick he really felt. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing, hoping that the worst was over. He spit in the toilet, checking his watch, hanging back for a few moments while students shifted between classes so nobody had to see him like this.

He leaned against the stall, just trying to breathe.

Later that afternoon, Saylor found herself sitting across from Julian in the campus café, the usual hustle and bustle of students around them providing a familiar backdrop to their conversation.

She stirred her coffee absentmindedly, her thoughts lingering on Mercury and his sudden departure from class earlier.

"Hey, Jules," Saylor began, looking up from her cup. "Have you seen Mercury this afternoon? Or like, at all today? He left class really suddenly, and he didn't look too good."

Julian frowned, setting down his drink. "No, I haven't seen him. I think he went to the lab early to work on his… whatever he’s working on. Why? What happened?"

Saylor sighed, leaning back in her chair. "He just looked really off during class. Pale, sweating, and he bolted out of there like he was about to be sick. I was going to check on him afterward, but I figured you might have a better idea of what's going on."

Julian shook his head, his brow furrowing in concern. "I wish I knew. I did hear something in the bathroom in the middle of the night, though. It woke me up, but I didn't think much of it at the time. I figured it was just one of our suitemates or someone across the hall."

Saylor raised an eyebrow. "Like what? Did you hear him throwing up or something?"

Julian hesitated, trying to recall the details. "I don't know... I just remember hearing some noise, like someone moving around. I was half-asleep, so I didn't really register it. But now that you mention it, maybe it was Mercury. If he was sick during the night, that would explain why he looked so rough today."

Saylor frowned, the pieces slowly coming together in her mind. "That makes sense. If he was already feeling bad during the night, then it probably got worse by the time we were in class. He must've been trying to push through it."

Julian nodded, his concern growing. "Yeah, that sounds like Mercury. He doesn't like to make a fuss about things, even when he probably should."

Saylor took a sip of her coffee, her mind already racing with what to do next. "We should check on him when we get back to the dorm. Make sure he's okay."

"Definitely," Julian agreed, his tone serious. "If he's been sick all day, he might not be in great shape. We should bring him some water or something, too."

Saylor nodded, a determined look on her face. "I’mg going into town to grab some paint. I can grab some ginger ale or crackers from the store on the way back, just in case. Poor guy... I hate seeing him like this."

"Me too," Julian said, his voice soft with empathy. "We'll take care of him. That's what friends are for, right?"

Saylor smiled, reaching across the table to give Julian's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Exactly. We'll make sure he's okay."

Saylor and Julian arrived back at the suite, the familiar hum of the campus outside contrasting with the quiet inside their shared space.

As they entered, they immediately noticed Mercury sitting at his desk, hunched over his books. His back was to them, but even from a distance, they could see the tension in his posture, the way his shoulders were slightly slumped, as if the weight of the world was pressing down on him.

Julian exchanged a quick glance with Saylor, both of them silently agreeing to play it cool. Mercury wasn’t one for coddling, and if he suspected they were hovering because they thought he was sick, he would likely shut down or brush them off.

So instead, they decided to hang around, Saylor sitting on Julian’s bean bag chair and Julian sitting on his bed, keeping things casual.

"Hey, Mercury," Julian said, his tone light. "How was class? I didn’t see you this morning.”

Mercury turned slightly in his chair, giving them a quick nod. "It was fine," he replied, his voice strained but trying to sound normal. "Just a lot of work, as usual. I went to the lab to finish my thermodynamics project."

Saylor grabbed the remote and flipped on the TV to some random show they all usually ignored in favor of conversation.

“You up for some company?" she asked, glancing over at Mercury. "We were thinking of just hanging out for a bit."

Mercury shrugged, trying to seem indifferent. "Yeah, sure. I’m just catching up on some notes."

"Cool," Julian said, settling into the armchair across from Saylor. "We’re not doing much, just figured we’d chill. Maybe order some food later."

As they settled in, Saylor and Julian kept the conversation light, discussing the latest campus news, their classes, and other everyday topics.

They were careful not to direct too much attention toward Mercury, but both kept a subtle eye on him, noticing the way he occasionally shifted uncomfortably in his chair, how his hand seemed to tremble slightly as he scribbled notes.

Mercury, for his part, tried to focus on his work, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Not because of them. In fact, he loved when Julian and Saylor hung out. Their conversations were soothing, relaxing even, to hear in the background.

The nausea that had plagued him earlier in the day was creeping back, a slow, relentless wave that made it hard to concentrate.

His head throbbed dully, and his vision blurred at the edges as he struggled to keep his eyes on the page.

He could hear Saylor and Julian chatting behind him, their voices a comforting backdrop, but all he could think about was how badly he didn’t want to be sick again.

He didn’t want to interrupt their time together or, worse, burden them with his problems. The thought of getting sick around them made his stomach twist even more, anxiety layering over the already uncomfortable nausea.

As the minutes ticked by, Mercury’s thoughts began to spiral. What if he couldn’t hold it back? What if he got sick right there in the room, in front of them?

He didn’t want to be an inconvenience, didn’t want to risk getting them sick if this was something contagious. The more he thought about it, the more his heart began to race, each beat pounding in his chest like a drum.

He gripped the edge of his desk, his knuckles white as the anxiety swelled inside him. His breathing quickened, becoming shallow and uneven, and his vision narrowed, the edges darkening as the panic took hold.

He could feel the room closing in on him, the walls pressing in from all sides. The nausea intensified, feeding into the panic, until it became a vicious cycle he couldn’t escape.

Julian noticed the change first, his empathetic nature and so far three years of psychology courses tuned into the subtle shifts in Mercury’s demeanor. He saw the way Mercury’s shoulders had tensed even more, the way his breathing had turned into shallow gasps. Julian’s heart dropped, realizing what was happening.

"Saylor," Julian said softly, his voice tinged with urgency. Saylor looked over, immediately catching on to what he was seeing.

They both stood up, approaching Mercury with caution, not wanting to overwhelm him.

“Mercury?" Julian said gently, keeping his voice calm. "Are you okay?"

Mercury didn’t respond at first, his mind too caught up in the whirlwind of panic. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he was going to suffocate under the weight of his own thoughts.

He wanted to get up, to move, but his body wouldn’t listen, locked in place by the fear that had gripped him.

Saylor stepped a little closer, keeping her movements slow and non-threatening. "Mercury, it’s okay," she said softly. "You’re okay. Just try to breathe."

Mercury’s eyes darted to Saylor and Julian, his gaze wild with fear. "I… I can’t," he gasped, his voice barely a whisper. "I can’t breathe."

Julian crouched down beside him, careful to give him space. "You’re having a panic attack," he said gently. "I know it feels scary, they always do, but you’re going to be okay. Just try to focus on my voice, alright?"

Mercury’s chest heaved as he fought to get air into his lungs. His hands trembled uncontrollably, and he could feel the sweat beading on his forehead, cold and clammy. He was on the verge of tears, the fear and the physical discomfort overwhelming him completely.

Saylor moved to the other side of him, close enough to offer support but not touching him, knowing he didn’t like it.

"We’re here, Mercury," she said, her voice steady and reassuring. "You’re not alone. Just take it one breath at a time."

Mercury squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on their voices, trying to pull himself out of the panic that had swallowed him whole. He felt a little lightheaded, his heart still pounding painfully in his chest, but the sound of Saylor and Julian’s calm words began to cut through the noise in his mind.

He took a shaky breath, then another, slowly trying to match the rhythm Julian was guiding him through. The tightness in his chest began to ease, just a little, and the darkness at the edges of his vision receded. The nausea still churned in his stomach, but the overwhelming panic was starting to loosen its grip.

"That’s it," Julian said softly, watching as Mercury’s breathing began to slow. "You’re doing great. Just keep breathing with me."

Mercury nodded, tears slipping down his cheeks as he tried to calm down. He felt exhausted, the panic attack draining what little energy he had left.

“I… I’m sorry," he whispered, his voice trembling.

Saylor shook her head, her expression soft and full of understanding. "You don’t have to apologize, Mercury. We’re here for you, no matter what."

Julian nodded in agreement. "Exactly. You’re not a burden, okay? We’re your friends, and we care about you."

Mercury swallowed hard, trying to hold back more tears. "Thank you," he murmured, his voice small. "I… I didn’t want to…"

Saylor gave him a gentle smile. "It’s okay. We know. Just breathe, alright? We’ll be right here.”

Mercury nodded, feeling a little more grounded with their reassurance. He still felt awful, his body weak and his stomach unsettled, but the panic had finally subsided, leaving him tired and worn out.

Julian and Saylor stayed close by, continuing their casual conversation in soft tones, giving Mercury the space he needed to recover.

They didn’t push, didn’t pry, just remained nearby, their presence a silent but steady comfort. Mercury knew he was in good hands, and that thought alone helped ease the lingering tension in his chest.

Mercury sat in his chair, the aftermath of the panic attack leaving him drained and shaky. His breaths had evened out, but the lingering effects were still wreaking havoc on his body.

The adrenaline that had coursed through his veins during the panic attack was now ebbing away, leaving behind a cold, clammy exhaustion.

His stomach, which had been unsettled all day, was now churning with renewed intensity, a sickening reminder of just how fragile he felt.

Julian and Saylor continued their conversation, their voices a calming presence in the background. They were careful not to draw too much attention to Mercury, knowing he needed space to recover on his own terms.

But Mercury was finding it increasingly difficult to ignore the rising tide of nausea that was building in his gut.

He tried to focus on his breathing, on the rhythm of Julian’s voice, but every breath seemed to bring another wave of sickness.

His stomach clenched painfully, the acid rising in his throat, and he could taste the bitterness of bile creeping up. He swallowed hard, hoping to keep it down, but the nausea was relentless.

Mercury’s hands gripped the edge of his desk, his knuckles white as he tried to steady himself. The room felt too warm, the air too thick, and he could feel the sweat beading on his forehead, cold and clammy.

His vision blurred slightly, and he could feel the nausea intensifying with each passing second.

Without warning, a violent lurch of his stomach made the decision for him. He barely had time to grab the small trash bin by his desk before he was doubled over, the force of the vomiting catching him off guard. His body convulsed as he retched into the bin, the sound harsh and desperate.

Julian and Saylor both turned to him, their conversation halting as they watched in concern. "Mercury," Saylor said softly, her heart aching for him.

Mercury couldn’t respond, his body too focused on expelling everything in his stomach. The retching was intense, each heave sending shockwaves of pain through his already exhausted body. His throat burned, and tears streamed down his face as he clung to the bin, the sickness overwhelming him completely.

Julian stood up, taking a cautious step closer, but he didn’t want to overwhelm Mercury with too much attention. "Just let it out, Mercury," Julian said gently. "You’re going to be okay."

Mercury’s body convulsed again, and he retched harder, his whole frame trembling with the effort. The nausea was relentless, his stomach churning violently as it continued to reject everything. He felt utterly miserable, his head spinning and his vision blurring as he tried to catch his breath between bouts of vomiting.

Saylor stayed close, her expression filled with sympathy. "You’re doing great, Mercury," she said softly, going through her bag to grab a water.

After what felt like an eternity, the retching finally began to subside. Mercury leaned back in his chair, panting heavily, his body shaking from the effort. He felt utterly drained, every muscle in his body aching from the intensity of the sickness.

Julian handed him the bottle of water Saylor gave him, his touch gentle and non-intrusive. "Here, take small sips," Julian suggested, his voice soft.

Mercury nodded weakly, too exhausted to speak. He took a small sip of the water, the cool liquid soothing his raw throat. His stomach still felt unsettled, but the worst of the nausea seemed to have passed for now.

Saylor knelt beside him, her eyes filled with concern. "Do you want to lie down for a bit? You’ve been through a lot today."

Mercury hesitated, not wanting to seem like a burden, but the thought of lying down was too tempting to resist. "Yeah," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "I think I need to."

Julian and Saylor exchanged a quick glance before helping Mercury to his feet. He was unsteady, his legs shaky from the ordeal, but with their support, he managed to make his way to his bed.

He collapsed onto the mattress, the exhaustion pulling him down like a heavy weight.

Saylor pulled the covers over him, tucking him in gently. "We’re right here if you need anything," she said softly. "Just rest now."

Mercury nodded, closing his eyes as he tried to block out the lingering nausea. He was too tired to argue, too drained to do anything but let sleep take over.

As he drifted off, he was vaguely aware of Julian and Saylor sitting nearby, their quiet conversation a comforting presence in the background.

Even in his weakened state, Mercury felt a small sense of relief knowing that he wasn’t alone. Saylor and Julian were there for him, ready to support him in whatever way he needed. And for now, that was enough.

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