#and I’d avoid at all costs tbh

[siminiecricketart]

Reminder that user Vixnarts has been openly racist against leah being cast to play Annabeth, and makes it well known they are against anything to do with black Annabeth, and harassed me for months and spread constant lies about me to my mutuals xx

[onesidedradiostatic]

I think there is technically some ‘monetary’ gain from Alastor’s “patronage” of the hotel:

- he’s a (has-been) celebrity and he is using that to promote the hotel in its marketing to his established audience. Allegedly for free

Financially, he also uses his “skills” to save Charlie unnecessary expenses:

- plumbing, repairs, staff, administrative duties (assumption), catering (?)

- getting things done for “free”, aka pulling strings and limbs to avoid paying for tv air time

If Charlie had to pay for all these herself, the cost would be astronomical. Especially since the hotel is rent-free and run like a charity.

Alastor may not be making Charlie profit, but he is saving her money, which keeps their accounting in the black instead of red.

And then Lucifer showed up and demonstrated he can conjure anything 😂 I’d be salty on Charlie’s behalf too tbh

(referenced ask)

okay but like... these are all stuff alastor can actually proudly flex so he wouldn't have a problem with it (since he is voluntarily helping), now when it comes to husk niffty and angel dust making money off of alastor's room's fucking vacuum dust, lucifer taking art commissions containing sexy alastor drawings, niffty taking writing commissions for alastor x readers, that is when he loses his mind, especially when he finds out it's being sold to VOX of all people

[fungusgnat444]

Vampire König headcanons

Just a few hcs for y’all xo. The first part of the series should be done relatively soon so I thought I’d post this to keep you guys hungry lolWarnings: hes a vampire so minor mentions of blood. Nothing super intense tho. Reader is a medic/doctor so medical stuff I guess, könig being delusional and mildly creepy. I think that's it enjoy. Also almost forgot fem reader

-extremely standoffish at first. To the point where you think he probably hates you. In reality he’s obsessed; he just has no idea how to talk to women (it’s been several hundred years since he's had to “court” so he tries his best to keep you at arms length. This doesn’t work very well of course)

-before he turned his family were all poor farmers so he could never have sweet treats as a kid since suger was pretty much only for the rich at the time. So now he has a massive sweet tooth and is regularly gorging himself on sweets.

-in the 1400’s he took the alias Matthias Grunewald, moved to germany and became a painter (Matthias grunewald was a real artist. My history nerd brain couldn’t help throwing that in there. One of my favourite artists tbh)

-since you’re new to Austria he offers to teach you German just to have an excuse to talk to you but he's delusional enough to convince himself it’s to help you. Of course the first thing he teaches you is how to say König correctly. It’s just so annoying to hear you mispronounce it of course… no other reason. 

-refuses to take his mask off when you have to examine him so you have to roll it up just above his top lip. Extremely insecure about his appearance but his face in particular because of all the scars. Plus he has a cleft lip scar that he used to get bullied for.

-he has basically no friends apart from Horangi so he spends most of his time alone painting and watching old German films. His favourite is The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (its really good y’all should totally watch it btw)

-secretly collects little items you leave around the place even though he feels like a massive creep because of it. It started with a bobby pin he saw lying on your desk that he snatched while you weren’t paying attention. Now he has a whole drawer in his bedside table full of little trinkets; his favourite is a lip gloss that you had dropped one day (secretly wears it under his mask so he can feel like he’s tasting you throughout the day because he so desperately wants to kiss your pretty lips :( )

-once he opens up just a little more and you start to become friends, he slowly starts returning the items he stole because he feels too guilty. Hides them in semi-obvious places to make you think you had just misplaced them (can’t bring himself to part with  the lipgloss though)

-avoids touching you at all costs. Feels like he's having a heart attack whenever you have to examine his teeth; feeling your soft little gloved fingers brush against his lips, trying your best to be so gentle with him. Likes that you’re always so nice to him; complimenting his gum health and being so soft and praising him when you have to take venom samples from his fangs, patting his shoulder when it's down to soothe him when you’re done. In reality you’re just trying your best to make you’re patient comfortable but he savours every moment. Gets so flustered every time you compliment him, even if its something generic and medically (he starts to floss several times a day after you casually mention that he has good gums)

-hates that he can always smell you even when you wear scent blockers, its so distracting. He can always smell you approaching before he sees you, making him panic and overthink at the thought of having to interact with you.

-pretty much exclusively drinks your blood type once he finds out what it is and gets all grumpy whenever the base’s blood dispensary runs out of it. Tries his best to fast until they’re restocked. He avoids you when he’s fasting because you smell so delicious. The fact that you’re completely oblivious and still hang around him only frustrates him more.

Hehe hope you degenerates like this. First part of the series should be out soon xo

[ryudaeng]

kpop twitter disgusts me truly for many reasons and it’s like an extra level of disgust the last few days especially with how much lia even while on hiatus is getting dragged. idc even who “started the fights” .. genuinely how can some of you not look at yourselves in disgust tbh

Kpop twitter is toxic as hell and if u can i’d advise u to either have a small circle of friends (on private) or avoid it at all costs. —Especially as a midzy the last few years on twt has been….something. And this comes from someone who isn’t even fully on twt at all and just there for updates so I can’t imagine fan accounts.

The fact that Lia gets hated and dragged for literally nothing ???? and while on hiatus??? is disgusting as heck. I’ve seen other fandoms making fun of it, not taking it serious, wishing her even worse, joking she would do even worse. On top of the normal disgusting hate itzy gets daily anyway. but i can’t believe those are real people with so called lifes behind these accounts. Would love to meet them in real life and see how many words they’ll spit then.

[prince-kallisto]

Vargas x Crowley Headcanons

Wait please hear me out. This ship sounds insane, but listen. Insufferable person 1 x Insufferable person 2? Good dynamic

-They’re both the biggest egotistical jerks ever. But because of this, they can understand each other at a level that we mortals cannot comprehend

-Them with their Magift Tournaments. Crowley’s voice line of ‘staying up late because of Magift’ would be even cuter if he was watching with Vargas lmao

-Crowley’s favorite food is wild game. Vargas likes to hunt!

-Also they have a height difference. Crowley’s 185 cm to Vargas’ 174 cm? Good stuff right there

-They’re both so…devious. Like they enjoyed making the students suffer during Vargas Camp cuz to them it’s just a game, and honestly good for them. They had some good tension in their dialogue at the end too.

-Crowley is such a wimp. He is not responsible in dire situations nor does he ever stick up for himself. If this is a dealbreaker for you, sorry but Vargas would be into that. The whole Gaston and Belle situation was that Gaston wanted Belle to be a silly damsel in distress so he could just impress her and save her. (Tbh Crowley is probably faking it but that’s even better)

-Vargas just appreciates Crowley’s insane balance of a stupidly ditzy 1950s housewife and mysteriously powerful, charming fae

-Crows and Ravens like strong, attractive, and healthy mates

-The second Beanfest also had a fun moment (of them pitting the students against each other as usual lol). I love how excited the two of them get. As devious as they are, they really would be a fun-loving couple! I’d imagine that they listen carefully to each other’s interests

-Crowley adores shiny objects and mirrors. Vargas is incredibly vain and seems to knowledgeable about magic mirrors.

-They feed each other’s ego so much to the point it’s insufferable. Students dread every time Crowley visits for Special Lessons, because it’s just an excuse for them to flirt with each other

-They would be that teacher couple that walks together arm-in-arm. The other staff members avoid them at all costs during lunch and dinner time, because they would also feed each other

-Maybe I’m reaching for crumbs, but I think it’s cute how Vargas steps aside to give Crowley room when he divebombs in to give a Special Lesson

-Also, I think it’s cute that Vargas gets concerned when Crowley has stiff shoulders and urges him to work out with him

-Crowley would totally steal Vargas’ clothes for nesting purposes

-Also Crowley would be the most repressed man ever. Vargas flexing a *bare* bicep would erase Crowley from existence lmao how scandalous

Please I’m desperate, I need my rare pairs to be listened to! Jokes aside, I love these two and they have great potential

[mixelation]

Re: the French in the fic, tbh it's a pretty common loan sentence so imo if you feel it's best that way it's good enough for me. My first language is actually French and there's plenty of English loanwords and sentences we use all the time, and it seems wrong to try and avoid them at all costs when writing, especially if they have connotations that are not easily found in other French expressions or words. In the context of Naruto, where English is sometimes used (eg. Silent Killing) when the manga is obviously in Japanese, I really do think having some French thrown in is not that bad - I know some people think it breaks immersion to reference real life things (like here the existence of other languages) but language is ultimately a serie of references, so what does it really matter if the best-fitting one is a loanword/sentence?

Oh yeah, no, that was my thought process when writing it. I completely agree.

I think several people commenting didn’t get my explanation, which is that if you are already accepting that the fic is written in English (making the dialogue “in translation”), then you are accepting all the loan words English uses too, which includes a shit ton of French. Like I don’t think anyone is going to nitpick my repeated use of words like “rendezvous” or “reconnaissance.” I don’t think anyone would question “RSVP.” But I did pause at “je ne sais quoi” in my reread of the scene because unlike rendezvous or reconnaissance, it is a whole ass phrase and I do associate it more with a fake and pretentious French accent instead of a completely anglicized pronunciation. BUT it’s also a pretty well established phrase in English and you can look it up in English dictionaries (unlike if I had him say something like “no se que”), and it captures the tone I wanted in a way another English phrase wouldn’t, so I’m letting it stand.

My question was more about what would pull people out of a story (which I assume to be a pretty arbitrary line), and if something like “je ne sais quoi” would do it even if it’s a well established loan phrase and why. Like personally I’d quirk an eyebrow at “French braid” but probably not “Manila envelope” and the reasons for this are completely arbitrary, personal, and do not follow consistent internal logic. I’m not trying to argue there should be any rhyme or reason to it. I just think it’s interesting.

[thegrimdog13]

(I would feel like Zalgo’s crew doesn’t like Zalgo anymore, poor him.) I love that you write, tbh :). I would like part 2 of Ben as a powerful being and Zalgo was attacked by other pastas and scared as luckily rescued by Slenderman. I would like to imagine Ben would be like rule the dark realms such as urban legends, and other worldly horror worlds.

Part two of this weird au lol.Thank you! Also Zalgo is just hated by everyone in most of my aus lol

( this isn’t my main au for people who don’t know it is a twist on my main au! That was suggested for fun little headcannons for different universes!)

—————————————————————————

Zalgo-

•As stated before Jeff just utterly hates Zalgo

•Ticci Toby is hates Zalgo but doesn’t pay him much mind anyway

•Masky has so much hate for Zalgo

•Hoodie doesn’t really give a fuck about him.He just kind ignores him or gives him rude side comments.

•Sally is the only one who is kinda nice to him. She tries to be nice but if he says anything mean to anyone she goes beast on him 😂

•Slender just puts up with Zalgo.They have been enemies for centuries so no one knows why Slender let him join the proxies.

•Zalgo has a hard time getting along with everyone. He secretly wants to be friends with them but is just very defensive because everyone hates him 🥲

•He and Laughing Jack never really talk Jack just stairs at him with hate.

•EJ genuinely is a really sweet guy but when it comes to Zalgo he can be far from it.

•Lulu just avoids Zalgo at all costs

•Liu just avoids him

—————————————————————————

Ben-

•The crew that Ben has consists of -

clockwork, Jane the killer, bloody painter,Lazari,The rake, stripes,judge angel,Zero, and probably more.

•They all prefer Ben as their leader

•They don’t take Ben as seriously because he was a mortal and he was a little kid.

•Ben let’s them just chill out most of the time

•Ben I’d very laidback and just let’s everyone do as they please

•Often nothing gets done though

•Ben often tries to make the Slendy crew join his team

•Jeff absolutely refuses and the others politely decline

•Ben thinks it’s great being a leader but misses his friends

•He kinda wish’s he could just reverse it all.

—————————————————————————

this is all I could think of . If you want more or have any other suggestions or ideas just let me know! Love you all ❤️

[darcyolsson]

hey there! i want you to know that i’ve never watched an episode of riverdale ever, the only thing i ever knew about it before tonight was that someone throws babies over a fire or something?? (saw it in one of those ‘whcih of these didn’t happen’ things)

i followed you for tsc stuff, but your posts about today’s finale made my head spin. i thought riverdale was a mainstream typical heterosexual show w/ bad scriptwriting tbh, based on the look of it? i’m ace so i’d seen ppl complain about jughead’s ace erasure, but i did not know literally anything else about this show? so your blog tonight deeply confused me, but in a fun way, so i decided to go to the tag and try and figure it out.

and, oh my word. never seen an ep of this thing but i’m sitting here with tears rolling down my face, i can’t stop laughing, i cannot believe they ended it like this, this is absolutely hilarious and iconic and what the hell levels of finale….. i feel for y’all and i’m happy for y’all and i kinda wish i’d watched this show before it ended.

also…… i must ask how it feels to be a part of two fandoms in whcih two ‘finales’ have both been extremely unbelievably chaotic and ended w/ a polycule to avoid ship wars in which the polycule breaks up at some point in said finale (if i’m understanding riverdale’s finale right?)……. as someone who loved qoaad but had no clue what was happening i cannot help but wonder what y’all must be thinking of this episode, it seems even crazier than thule and sebastian and janus and annabel from the edgar allen poe poem and your boyfriend literally selling his soul to his job but telling you two to be happy and😭😭

welcome to riverdale insanity. i hope your adventure has made you want to watch this show. i can try to explain it to you but i physically can't put this show into words (i can actually, they're "camp" and "metanarrative")

basically: riverdale is an intentionally batshit insane show which started out as a somewhat normal teen drama. most people, however, stopped watching after the crazy got turned up a notch and because of that most people still think it's a teen drama and the writing's just bad. but it's not bad writing! it's very very good writing! because every insane storyline is purpose!!!!! and that's why people love it. because they love their insane and gay show. somehow this is very hard for the average person to wrap their heads around.

i love riverdale to death. it is truly, genuinely, the only show of it's kind. it's outlandish and crazy and hilarious and beautiful. there's literally no other show willing to be as insane as riverdale was and it's definitely one of my favourite shows ever made because of that. this quote from a recent interview with some of the actors says it best:

as for the comparison quoaad: i will say that i enjoyed this finale... about the same amount as queen? i didn't like some parts of it but more for general storytelling reasons (i don't want to know the exact fates of every single character at any cost and that's literally all this finale was lol).

the main difference here is that the dark artifices is a serious (wel.. serious-adjacent) ya fantasy series but riverdale is a show that's centered around outlandish, comedic and dramatic storylines. a crazy finale didn't really fit TDA, while obviously, a crazy-ish finale did fit riverdale for the aforementioned reasons (i say "crazy-ish" because i would say this episode is like. maybe #70 on the most insane riverdale episodes list? believe it or not this was very normal by riverdale standards).

and yes the polyamory ending is always ICONIC. they really kierarktina'd us and i'm delighted. more of this please!

also, can i just say, the fact that you thought riverdale was a straight show is unbelievably funny and i KNOW most people think of it that way but you have to know that genuinely, without lying, 80-90% of the characters are canonically bisexual. and virtually all the other ones are gay. all of the main characters are gay/bi (except jughead, though that one's still a little debatable?). most of the main characters' parents are gay/bi. homophobic villains all end up being gay in the end. random background will make one on-screen appearance just to say they're gay and then leave. every single one of cheryls ancestors was a lesbian. i don't have the time to count but think riverdale has somewhere around 30-50 confirmed queer characters. and yes i do wish that they had given is a crumb of ace or trans rep but this is not my story this is one insane gay person's 20 year revenge plan and who am i to judge.

go watch riverdale now <3

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

You there, person with outrageous driving habits.

Give us your Stardew Valley driving headcanons for whoever you want tbh.

WHICH ONE OF YOU SENT THIS LMAO

okay uhhh i was gonna do all the characters but i’m tired and want to go back to fishing so here, have just the bachelors and bachelorettes

ALEX: you’d expect him to be kinda reckless, but he drives like an old person (gee, i wonder why?). his mom was a reckless driver so sometimes he thinks about driving with a bit more chutzpah, but then granny evelyn’s scowl pops back in his head and he slows down hehehehe

ELLIOT: passenger prince, cannot drive for shit. backseat drives like he can, though. if you put me in a car with him i’d drive myself off a fucking cliff

HARVEY: you’d think he’d be a good driver, right? WRONG! he overchecks his mirrors for the first 10 minutes and then proceeds to forget they exist whenever he should be checking his mirrors. signals for lanes that split organically (you can get away with not signalling for these) but then can’t merge for shit. absolute disaster. when there’s people behind him he does the speed limit but then if it’s open road he’ll do 30 over by accident. absolute menace, do not drive with him

SAM: surprisingly good driver! he just plays his music too loud and will maybe spend too much time looking over at his passengers. has never used his turn signal. irrational fear of roundabouts

SEBASTIAN: anxious driver, prefers to be a navigator and passenger prince. he is the only member of ASS with a full licence though so on the off-chance they do a roadtrip, he has to drive, and is absolutely terrified. sam and abigail call him a party pooper for being too serious and telling them to shut up when he gets on the highway because it scares him, but he means well. (NOTE: you said driving, not riding. he is fearless on his motorcycle but you put him in a honda civic and he starts whimpering)

SHANE: the best driver out of all the bachelors. actually knows what he’s doing, as he had to drive regularly before he moved back with marnie. the “roadtrip” when he and jas came to pelican town is a core memory for her, as he still uses a casette player for his music. she got to pick all the tapes for them to sing along to :3

—

ABIGAIL: dare i say the worst driver on this list? she talks too much, knows none of the road rules, and can’t even get her G1/learner’s permit because she genuinely couldn’t care less. pierre tried to teach her so many times before giving up

EMILY: is surprisingly good at driving. the most average driver there is, sure, but compared to literally almost everyone else she’s fantastic.

HALEY: two words for you— ROAD RAGE. all her elegant composure dies behind a wheel, she is tailgaiting while everyone is already doing 30 over because you either pull over and get the fuck out of her way or prepare to be rearended. she drifts every fucking turn and is one of the only characters who can drive stick

LEAH: embarrassed that she can’t drive and pretends she can. kel actually taught her, but she doesn’t have a license. the few times she has driven, her motto was “i can’t get caught unless i get caught, so just avoid cops at all cost”

MARU: she’s very alex-coded but isn’t as much of a stickler for the rules (read as: she knows where all the speedtraps are and times every set of lights perfectly to know when to gun it past a yellow lmao)

PENNY: you might be expecting me to say she’s a nervous driver but she’s actually probably the most calm behind a wheel. she knows a lot about car repairs and has the bus manual memorized so she’s great at driving and basic mechanics! pam jokes that she has a nerdy pitcrew to always lend her a hand with a bus which penny finds embarrassing, yet endearing.

[we-made-it-this-far-kid]

I love how Tyler and how he created this whole visual map of the psyche and exploring your own psyche. I’m a visual person and so that idea really helped me conceptualize things in terms of my own mental illness. I first found tøp when I was 13 and at that point didn’t really know what was going on in terms of my mental illness or tbh that I had any. But then I found their music and it really resonated with me. Then eventually I did get a diagnosis which helped me in a weird way because then I was like oh that’s why I am the way I am and act in certain ways. When I was 13-17 I was self harming and would have periods of suicidal ideation and tøp really helped me through that. Now that I’m older and I’m about to graduate college I’m glad I didn’t kill my self because during that time I truly didn’t think I’d make it to be 18. And Tyler making your psyche like a map has helped me. Now I’m like okay if I go into this place in my mind it’s going to lead me down a bad spiral and I need to avoid going there at all costs. And where I tend to be most times is in like a middle between that really bad place and a really good place. Where I’m like okay I struggle with depression and anxiety but right now I’m at a more neutral place where it could be better but it also could be a whole lot worse. And it’s actively doing things to try and get to the really good place or at the very least not going back to the really bad place. Sometimes I do go onto the very bad place but I know how to cope with that in a healthy way. Anyway that was kind of a brain dump but I was just thinking about that.

[yaminerua]

Man… I am so fed up with the dwp

In February I applied for Carer’s Allowance online bc I wanted to avoid phone conversations and we really struggled so much over winter with the energy bills and other utilities, and because I look after my brother I was eligible for it anyway. This was back in February. I waited nearly 15 whole weeks to hear back (bc I’d read online the backlog might take that long). Then my dad called up to chase up the application. I had to verify everything again. I wasn’t sure if they were treating it as a new application from the date of the phonecall or if they’d hurry the February application along.

Few more weeks pass and my brother’s CPN came for a visit and heard about this and so HE calls up to chase it up. I got put on the phone again to verify everything all over again. This time I asked if they had received the application at all in February. I was told they had, on the 11th of February but that for some reason it had never been moved along. This was in June by this point. I was told my February application would be marked as priority to move it through faster.

Some time later a letter came in saying I owed the Dwp £1000 for excess payments I’d never received. This had me panicking bc I didn’t have £1000. Shortly after that a second letter came in rejecting my application outright because for some reason despite the numerous phone calls and the original online application all being told that my brother is the one I look after, and giving them his national insurance number and full name… they somehow thought I was applying to look after my granny who has been in a care home since 2021 and doesn’t receive attendance allowance anymore. This was just. Baffling. I used to receive carer’s allowance up until 2021 when she went into hospital but that was all cancelled so I don’t know how they managed to get it so confused.

So yet another phonecall was made to fix both this misunderstanding and the £1000 thing with an emphasis on absolute clarity, making sure they know we’ve been waiting months for this application process to end, that it’s my brother I’m looking after and that we were told the application would be given priority to hurry it along.

Anyway that was in June

it’s August now. And we haven’t heard a fucking peep….

I’m not sure I’m ever going to receive it, which is scary as we move closer to the end of summer. We only got through last winter because I had had money saved up from trying to buy a new laptop. That extra was all that kept us going and then it ran out and we stopped using the heating and anything else we could as much as we could to cut costs.

I’m honestly kind of scared that when it gets cold again and the energy bills are still high that we’re not gonna have money for utilities and bills and food.. Summer has been a relief bc we haven’t had to have the heating on pretty much at all but that’ll change once things get colder again…

I’m just fed up tbh. We’ve been waiting since February. We have had multiple phone calls chasing it up and correcting their mistakes. What is taking so long now???

why the hell is it such a nightmare just to get an extra bit of money to keep us going…

[singswan-springswan]

HCs for Falcon Torres, since he’s still living in my brain rent-free

First of all him baby

he is precious and soft and must be protected at all costs

I prefer him to be six-limbed rather than have his arms double as his wings because structurally that just makes more sense to me, + aesthetically it looks a lot better. Also like, how is he supposed to dramatically swoop and catch people midair if he’s using his arms to fly like,,, is he supposed to use his legs…? To hold stuff…? this post for visual reference/my personal take

he do got that third eyelid

poor boy can’t find a comfortable position to sleep in for the first few days; the wings are big and bulky and awkward when he’s horizontal. eventually some of the gang got together and made him a lil perch in his room that’s kind of like a bench with a padded cushion mounted in front of it so his legs can just free hang but his butt and chest are supported and there’s plenty of room for the wings

sensory overloads. like, this kid had enhanced eyesight, hearing, and accelerated healing dumped on him all at once. it’s a lot to get used to, and sometimes he needs to take a min sitting in a dark quiet room before the migraine starts to fade. Sam always tries to be there helping him through it because that’s his sidekick gosh darn and tbh who DOESN’T want to give the baby angel gentle hugs and pats on the head and talk to him in a low, soothing voice?

I’m sure the wings are really sensitive too. it’s not that they have a greater capacity for pain; he’s got a great pain tolerance all around, but if you breathe on the wings he’ll feel it. It’s a useful trait when flying comes into play because it’ll allow him to be very keyed in on air currents and how best to maneuver in flight for maximum efficiency so that he’s not spending a ton of energy fighting the wind. bUT it also makes touching the wings sort of a big deal. like poor kid they’re so large and at first these muscles he’s never had before are aching just to hold the wings shut so that they’re not in the way all the time, but there must be moments when in spite of his efforts someone brushes against him or touches without asking and it’s just—it feels like a lot. He probably wouldn’t go out of his way to avoid contact, but he’s not a super cuddly person in the show so I guess his reactions are up to circumstantial interpretation. Like there are probably some people who could touch his wings without him batting an eye: his mom and grandma, or Sam, for starters. but if it’s a stranger that’s got to make him a little uncomfortable.

since it’s a given that everyone loves Torres, I’d like to think he also got a custom birdbath as a gift from someone rich like Pepper. Keeping his feathers clean is a very important part of staying hygienic—which would be difficult enough if he wasn’t following Sam around doing superhero stuff for goofs and giggles. If his wings aren’t carefully preened on a regular basis, it can cause irritation and discomfort, and because he has so many feathers, he needed an efficient way to cleanse the grime in one swoop so he’s not spending hours every day picking through them. He gets the hang of using the giant bath after a few tries (it’s just a fancy swimming pool with stupidly strong jets built in). Luckily, the bath also comes with velocity dryers that blast the wings and catch anything else all his splashing around might have missed. This system works well enough that it doesn’t carve out huge chunks of his time, but he still does need a routine preening every couple of weeks or so. Usually he has to ask someone for help because (shocker) he isn’t as flexible as an actual bird and can’t reach some of the spots on the outsides of his wings. It’s kind of an intimate bonding moment but it needs to be done and baby was a little embarrassed to ask at first but everyone in his immediate vicinity is always ready to help at the drop of a hat (yes, even Bucky) so eventually he just finds someone who he knows won’t be busy for a bit and plops down in front of them with his wings in their lap. There are a handful of combs and brushes that get the job done but it’s always better by hand. I really like the image of Bucky and Sam sitting on the couch watching TV some lazy afternoon each with one wing to work on and Torres is chilling on the floor going through his email or somethin. He let AJ and Cass do it when they visited and they were very very excited and gentle.

after the initial shock of oh no! I’m a bird! and oh no! it’s permanent! Torres gets used to it and just accepts that this is his crazy life now. He’s not particularly vain but he did spend a while staring at himself in the mirror just to watch the light hit his feathers, turning in a circle a few times and generally trying to wrap his brain around having a new set of limbs yay.

of course, one of his first thoughts was “wonder if I can fly” because his bones didn’t totally hollow out from the transformation but his wings are massive and at the very least he could probably glide if he jumped from a high enough place. Bucky catches him experimentally testing different forms and lil flappy flaps in the gym and throws him off a building like the dad that he is. Sam was not happy to hear about that. But as it turns out, Torres CAN fly! so no harm done :)

The feathers are actually very durable. They’re flexible and glossy and don’t get damaged easily from just any rough and tumble. Sam let Torres wear the EXO when he first started to practice flying, and the thruster did singe his long ornamental tail feathers but the damage was surprisingly minimal. Sometimes he shields himself or others from stuff like projectiles or wind or blasts and other potentially harmful forces

He uses his wings for random practical things like shading himself from the sun or being an umbrella or even like a fluffy blanket if he’s cold. It’s super effective!

Torres couldn’t swim super well before he turned into a bird, but the wings just make it that much harder. the only silver lining is that they’re semi-waterproof and shed water considerably well but generally figuring out how to maneuver with them is a pain and usually ends up as a mild drowning scare. as long as he can stand up, he’s good, but any free-stroke or other such coordinated motorized activity is a lost cause. he tries to avoid bodies of water as a general rule when on missions because if he gets stuck then someone has to haul him out and that’s a whole ordeal because of the wings being awkwardly big and also he’s just kinda dead weight.

He had to relearn how to walk pretty much because the wings kept throwing him off balance and every time he stood up or took a step he kept falling on his butt

But like, once he gets the hang of it, he’s OFF he’s got the zoomies and sliding down halls in his fuzzy socks, bouncing off the walls because he can and generally acting like an excited young man with too much energy because of his fast metabolism. And it’s unclear whether the increased speed and agility is also a side-effect of the transformation, but he’s definitely scoring off the charts on those. He learns how to maneuver with the wings to stay aerodynamic or when to flag and redirect his momentum, and it’s not long before he’s flying circles around Sam because he’s fast enough and strong enough to keep pace with the EXO. Obviously he doesn’t have quite as good endurance and can’t stay airborne as long as Sam can, depending on how acrobatic he’s being, but they’re still a very closely even match in that field. Him go nyoom

little kids stare at him and ask if he’s an angel

oh boy when he MOLTS tho. His wings are huge, so he’s got a lot of feathers. and when he molts they go everywhere. He doesn’t have a lot of down because most of his feathers are on his wings but he does have some on his back and shoulders that drift around in the air like pollen spores when he be going thru it LOL he has to keep a shop vac in his room and tries to use it daily because even when he’s not molting he does shed a bit. The gang finds feathers in inconvenient places like coffee mugs in the cabinets or in the bathroom sink. Natasha yells at him every time she plops down on the couch and finds herself stabbed in the butt with one of his pretty lil flight feathers. like darn he’s so cute and his feathers are gorgeous but he’s leaving them EVERYWHERE dear lord. They all give him the side eye when he ruffles his wings and does the lil poof thing that birds do and like five feathers pop out and silently flutter to the ground and he’s SO CUTE KRIFF it’s really hard to be annoyed for long

He became exponentially more carnivorous after turning into Bird Man and is absolutely vicious for steak night/also he just has a dizzyingly fast metabolism almost as fast as Steve and Bucky’s and just shovels food down like a man starved at every meal. He eats most of his meat rare now which might be a side-effect from being mildly vampiric idk. Bruce is completely baffled by these developments because nothing about Torres anatomically or physiologically makes sense it’s almost as if his condition was engineered by some crazy fangirl who put way more emphasis on what looks cool and sounds fun rather than what scientifically tracks but then again this is marvel so when has actual science ever applied haha

The enhanced eyesight and hearing I mentioned earlier and I think is worth detailing a bit more. Because he is literally a Falcon hybrid thing, his eyes are better than yours. About eight times better, according to google. I would also like to give him infrared to small degree despite that being impossible since he’s still warm-blooded but oH WELL we ride, brothers. He likes to be annoying sometimes and read things from very far away just to show off. sometimes it’s helpful on a mission but sometimes he’s only goofing around for the sake of being like twenty years old. And the hearing isn’t really specific to falcon but I think it’s a good addition to his new ability set so make him hear things that no one else can hear except for other enhanced individuals, like heartbeats, and relaxed breathing, and voices in the apartment three floors up, and the family of mice in the walls that he wants to eat, and Alpine sneaking around in the cabinets probably looking for the poptart stash that Thor painstakingly hid last time he was here (which isn’t in the cabinets at all, you fool. it’s sequestered away behind a ceiling panel that Torres found while playing hide ‘n seek with Bucky—which he knows will be the death of him if he keeps dipping into but life is just one big yeehaw until you kick the bucket so tbh go for it man. besides, he can always replenish before Thor comes back). He and Bucky have aggressive hide ‘n seek competitions because both of them can hear each other with their enhanced senses so it’s more like a cat-mouse game than stay put and hunker down, which is just fine with Torres because he’s bulky and doesn’t like cramming himself into small spaces anyway if he can help it. Bucky doesn’t like hiding either. he’s too much of a unit.

If you can’t tell, everyone is still alive living happily ever after and ideally The Tower is still chilling under Tony’s name so all the newest acquisitions to the Found Avengers Family have their own space to be quirky and weird because fight me they deserve to get domestic. Ideally Torres makes quick friends with all the other youngins like Peter and Wanda who also be going thru the wack new powers phase and just want to get up to shenanigans and cause chaos already which annoys all of the veteran Avengers because it makes them feel way more parental and old than they are comfortable with. Clint and Sam get into arguments about who has custody of Torres because they’re both trying to claim him as their bird baby; Sam argues that he is the actual falcon/captain america whatever and Torres is his sidekick but Clint is also a bird and has far more experience being a dad not only to regular gremlins (Cooper and Lila and Nat) but also magic feral gremlins aka the Maximoff twins (Pietro is alive because he can dodge bullets shut up). Bucky thinks this is hilarious.

[hungwy-sinner]

months if not years of sitting and loading up your body with fat till one day out of the blue ur forced to do some real exercise and ur heartbeat races and your lungs burn because they're just as pampered and lazy and spoiled and weak as you are

I really like that idea do u

I’m out of breath just reading that tbh. I despise exercise in all forms, especially cardio, so I avoid it at all costs. If for some reason I was forced to do real exercise out of the blue, I’d honestly probably pass out. The monster would kill me first because I’m too fat and slow to get away.

The idea kinda turns me on though…

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

Too Tired to be Woke

I happened to invent this line in the midst of discussing bad behavior within one of my own friend groups and having to decide what to do about it, and it really seems worth investigating.

There are two objectives to any movement, good or bad: Recruit, and Defeat.

This understanding is important when you’re dealing with, say, fascist American youths who happen to be snappy dressers. A lot of folks who consider themselves “left” and “allies” will assume the goal is to Recruit these snappy dressers. It Ain’t. Those are still fascists, and the objective is to stop them from getting shit done, push our own shit through despite them, and deal with the possibility of them achieving actualization or whateverthefuck once other people are safe. From Them.

Anyway. Got off-topic.

The concept of “too tired to be woke” comes up a lot in critiques of shows and media. The complaints come from fans who miss the good ol’ days of “turn off your brain” style TV, perhaps even trotting out such tired phrases as “when men were men!”

And there is a balance to be struck. Writing affecting badass moments into media that isn’t mindless support for patriarchy can be more difficult, and writing involves many spinning plates so it is unfortunately possible to drop a “writing an interesting scene” or “avoiding a bad plot hole” plate when you make the effort to spin the “don’t make your story endorse bigotry.”

But that last plate is worth spinning anyway. Like, everything you add to or leave out of a scene is a choice with costs and benefits. If you’re an agile, clever writer you can write a scene that succeeds on several layers at once. Many a grand video essay has been written on scenes that succeed on several levels. If you can’t write a story without huge bad plot holes that has interesting scenes and doesn’t endorse bigotry...I’m not going to say you shouldn’t be a writer, tbh, I’m just going to say that personally I’d rather you left in the gaping plot holes if that’s what it takes.

This is all complicated by the twin facts that a) some of the shows catching flak for trying too hard to appeal to a diversity-loving audience are legitimately bad, and b) a lot - and I mean a lot - of the people leveling these complaints aren’t being honest (sometimes even with themselves) about what’s making them angry about the media. Plenty of them would have liked She-ra just fine gender-swapped. It’s funny, it’s got good action, starting the hero off as a gaslit member of the baddies is a cool trope, and the dynamics between the protagonist and antagonist(s) are fun.

Many men - and again, they’d be insulted to hear this, because they haven’t admitted this even to themselves - are upset by media that treats women as real people with their own agency. They find scenes that pass the Bechdel Test superfluous (because “nothing even happens in this scene”).

Beyond even that is the fact that a lot of the shitty stuff that made its way into older media is now part of a memory that may be attached to a happier time in your life. Does Jim-Bob actually bemoan the loss of scenes where women get literally objectified by hypno-rays because it’s a personal fetish, because he truly thinks avoiding mind control plotlines is somehow bad writing, or just because the stories that had it were the ones he consumed back when his life was simple and happy and he didn’t have a shit job?

And to make that first bit of this post less of a worthless tangent... We don’t necessarily need to win over Jim-Bob with every cartoon. If you’re writing kid’s media, maybe don’t worry about how well it satisfies the needs of a thirtysomething. In that case it’s less about him being “defeated” so much as “worked around.” But the principle’s the same. With the energy one might spend appeasing the Jim-Bobs of the internet you could just make a better cartoon that is more fun, even if Jim-Bob never enjoys it.

[pornoes]

TBH if a man is saying he wont have sex with u because of the way that u are and the way u look i think u need to divorce for real sorry. he sucks horse ass and sounds completely rude and unappreciative. like it would be bad enough if u were dating but someone he is MARRIED TO? u deserve better than that. wishing you all the best

you’re not wrong. It took me forever to see - I have a strong tendency to blame myself and my husband has a pattern of avoid responsibility at all costs. So for years I’ve been telling myself these are just my issues, im the problem, I need to be better, etc etc and he encouraged that and placed additional blame on me for unrelated things. I was very convinced that I was like the villain or something in this relationship. As if he was doing me a service by being with and dealing with me.

I finally had a small breakthrough where I just told myself “enough!!!!!” and mentally took all his bullshit that I’d let fall on my shoulders and put it back where belonged - on him. Assessed what I bring to the table both positive and negative and found that most of the negatives I had been assigned/assigning weren’t even real, or were brought out of me by being with someone who is not right for me. Felt very freeing.

Now, he is not someone who can accept any feedback though. I can’t even ask him to pick up after himself or bathe without him getting defensive and whining. I want to say my piece though, for me. I don’t want to end it without getting to stand up for myself first. We’re in couples therapy now, he wants to fix it and I just want to be happy (in whatever form that takes). I’m using it as a chance to be upfront, say what I have to say, and be honest for myself. We’ll see how it turns out. But I’ve been feeling like shit for almost 5 years now and I will not feel this way for 4 more.

[purplesurveys]

1635

Look out of the nearest window. What do you see? Details, please. I’m settled in bed and it’s too dark out to actually see anything, but I can tell you that the only things you’d be able to see are the neighbors’ houses (from my room you can see the houses to the left of and behind ours) and some trees.

When you think of the word “posh”, what springs to mind? The Spice Girls. > Okay, same!

When you have chocolate, do you eat it room temperature? Or are you like me and stick the bar into the fridge first? Well we have to put in the ref because otherwise it will melt and become all messy and a hassle to eat. We also can’t leave it out anyway because ants.

What’s the most shocking thing that’s happened in your part of town? There was a house in this neighborhood that got raided or something a few years back because of drug possession; even got featured on national TV. I didn’t care much for it and if anything the only reason I paid attention was the fact that the route we take going home was featured on the news LOL

Which brand are your headphones/earbuds? It’s a generic, unbranded pair. I lost the earbuds that came with my phone so I just opted for something cheap as I don’t usually use earphones anyway.

Do you see planes fly over your house at all? Yeah they come around fairly regularly.

Are there any constellations you recognize just by looking at them? Just those three stars that are part of Orion but otherwise I’m not good at all at identifying constellations.

Which room of your house/apartment do you spend the most time in? Either my room or the dining area since we let the dogs roam around there.

Which insect do you find the most beautiful? Fireflies.

Did you have crafts/woodwork at school growing up? Nope.

If so, what was the best assignment you did for it? We never had it but we did do some fun things for home econ (although I didn’t find them fun at the time, ha) like sewing, crocheting, cooking, baking, etc.

Do you have a friend who likes to tell you everything? Yes, my best friends love sharing stories with me. Andi’s are usually about their adventures and annoyances in law school; Angela tells me about pretty much everything going on in her life.

What was the last thing you got very excited about? Jihope visiting Jin at the military gave me a level of happiness nobody would ever be able to understand. He looks so happy and healthy and well-fed :) You can go to any city in any country you want. Which city do you go to? SEOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you like gardening? If so, what do you grow? No.

Do you enjoy puzzle games? If so, which one’s your favourite? In the Seom. Thanks for reminding me! I’ll need to play it before bed so I can get a few levels up hahaha.

Is there a substance you avoid at all costs? If so, what is it and why? Hard drugs, for obvious reasons.

What would you absolutely hate living next door to? A family with a tantrum-prone toddler.

What would you love to live next door to? A household with ARMY or with lots of dogs. Or both!

What gives you nostalgia? Visiting UP.

When you think of a classy drink, what comes to mind first? Martinis.

Do you prefer eating out or cooking your own meals? Tbh neither; I like getting my food delivered. But if I had to exclusively pick between these two, I’d go with eating out.

Which language do you think is the most complicated to learn? Just about every single form of Chinese. Mandarin, Hokkien, Cantonese...just the way that the meaning of same-spelling words differ depending on the tone it’s said is already super overwhelming. It’s very fascinating.

Is there a place that you might call your second home? UP.

How do you imagine your later life to look like? Satisfaction with who I’ve grown up to become and ended up achieving, and lots of leisure traveling.

What is a job you would never in a million years want to do? Film production. I’ve participated at several video shoots for work and have dreaded every single fucking part of it. The early call times, set design changes, multiple takes...I’m just too impatient for it all.

Is there a piece of jewelry that you feel naked without? No.

Do you ever “go commando”? Rarely.

What’s the sweetest thing someone’s done for you? I have to go with the time Andi gave me a handwritten letter, a physical copy of Petals for Armor, and a CM Punk shirt for Christmas – in the same year. That was the lowest I’ve ever been, so it felt nice to have someone who apparently remembers everything I love.

Which wild animals are a common sight in your area? Just birds and frogs.

What’s the weirdest building in your city? The architecture is not weird per se, but we do have an abandoned Starbucks when you drive up the mountain part of the city. Apparenty the contractor or owner or whoever it is got caught up in permit issues and the store never actually launched, so now it just looks like a sad, lonely Starbucks overlooking the Metro Manila skyline.

How do you keep in touch with friends usually? Messenger. All other messaging platforms are reserved for work, so I don’t like talking to friends on those because it makes me more stressed than anything.

Do you get a lot of visitors? Nah, my friends and I get together at home usually only when there’s a BTS thing happening...so safe to say we’re not getting any of these sessions any time soon, at least until 2025 or 2026.

Is there a subtle way your partner gets you excited easily? I don’t have a partner.

Do you recognize friends’/family’s vehicles by sound? Not me but the dogs are excellent at identifying when my mom’s about to arrive back home.

Which Disney villain is your favourite? I don’t really have a favorite Disney villain. Non-Disney villains on the other hand...Gus Fring will always have a special place in my ever-cold heart.

On a regular day, what do you usually do at 3 o'clock in the afternoon? Neck-deep in work.

Which possession would you not want to inherit from a relative? Clothes. Secondhand clothing makes me feel icky for some reason.

What is something you would never dare to do in public? Uhm...masturbate, I guess??

Would you/ did you have a hen night/bachelorette party? Sure, if I reach that point.

Has anyone taken you on holiday somewhere? If so, where? No. When you left the house last time, where did you go? Just church. Went home right after as all of us were feeling pretty tired.

How did you spend your last birthday? Filed a leave off work and sat on the couch all day until I took my family out for a ramen dinner. Then that same weekend, my friends and I went to Zambales for a quick beach vacation.