#and I’m so confused. I was and still kinda am convinced he doesn’t like me

[serdtse]

//

[thebestandrealestever]

~LET THE LIGHT IN!~

part one: “friends?”

black fem coded! reader x miles morales 42 sum: ur his light :) .grumpy x sunshine kinda . warns : n word use, arguments translations: sol= sun

a/n: hey bookies , school beatin my ass !!! ima try to update at LEAST twice a week . yaal can slap me if i don’t, lol enjoy <33 . as always this is heavily unedited and this is short because it’s going to have multiple parts! a lil sum sumi’ve been working on.

miles used to be talkative, before you know what happened. he was quieter and if he did talk it was cold toned and short lived, you noticed that he didn’t talk and that’s no way to spend your high school years. so you were going to no determined to be his friend this year, it doesn’t hurt that you think he’s cute also.

“hey miles” you smiled at him as you took your seat next to him, he just nodded at you not even looking back. you smiled awkwardly to yourself but ultimately shook it off. you said hi to him and small talk every day, he was still the same monotone dude who never reciprocated the cheerful manner you spoke to him in so you decided do stop, you weren’t gonna waist your time trying to be nice to a gu-

“hey (name). how was your morning?” speak of the devil, even though his tone was rock hard if sounded like he was at least trying, you turn your head to him and see the small smile tugging at his lips and you return it “hey miles!” you ramble on to him about your morning and he talks too.

the next 3 days he didn’t show up at all, it did worry you a bit but maybe he was just sick. when he did come back he had a fat bruise on his sharp cheekbone, you noticed it when he sat down.

“what happened to your face? is it the reason you haven’t been at school. are you okay miles?” you turn your whole body to look at his bruise moving his chin with your hand. “don’t worry about it, sol. im good” he said gently brushing your hand off of his face but you didn’t believe it one bit. “but i am worried, tell me what happened?” you eagerly said almost demanding, putting your hand back on his chin and moving it up to get another look at the bruise and you knew his temper was short but you didn’t care right now, that’s not normal. “i said im good (name) u can stop acting like u care so much now.” he spat feigning annoyance through gritted teeth pushing your hand off.

you raised a eyebrow confused at that last part, “i can stop acting like i care. nigga i do care, you’re my friend miles and i care about my fucking friends. but you right, ima stop acting” you said sarcasm coating your voice as you turn to face the other way fake focusing on whatever work was infront of you , you hear miles sigh deeply after 10 or so minutes and you roll your eyes at it.

“i’m sorry, sol.” you turn your eyes at him but not your body, waiting for him to say something else “it’s been a bad week, ian mean to take it out on you. i know you care. i’m sorry.” he said in a tone that almost sounded convincing, he never usually apologized, “my bads”were the closest thing you got to one. you shift in your seat to look him in the eyes, you had never fought before, you didn’t know what to do with this. “i’m not gonna say it’s okay because it’s not, i get it though. but definitely don’t do that shit again.” you say assertively whilst keeping a small smile on your face. he stifled a laugh “yeah. i won’t.” there’s a pause between the two of you just looking at each other. “friend huh? you wanna be my friend?”

he says leaning back in his chair, keeping his eyes on you. “i am your friend, i’m trying to be atleast. but i can’t if you won’t let me.” you shrug laying the weight of your head on your shoulder until you feel a pair of toned arms around you, you shook your eyes wide open because miles never initiated touch. “i’m trying to. i’m sorry.” he says muffled by the fabric of your shoulder that he’s currently stuffing his face inside of. he hasn’t had a friend in a while, this was weird. but maybe he could be yours.

[adaptacy]

Hiii! I dunno if I can request here I’m kinda new to tumblr ✨ but I’d really love a Johnny x reader thing with the reader being way smaller than him n chubby (I’m talkin like 5’3) and maybe the reader being a little insecure about it because y’know he’s fit and tall. And him being completely bewildered by it because he doesn’t really get why she’s insecure about those things. BECAUSE he finds those things really attractive- y’know??? It’s a big “sorry I know I’m not the skinniest..” “what” like just complete confusion 😭😭

fluff definitely! Maybe some nsfw as well if you are comfy with it? 🥺

yas! girlie me 2 i am v similarly built - no nsfw cause i did not have much steam when writing this but its a really cute concept so i wanted to write something for it :)

Johnny Slaughter x Chubby!Reader

Your fingers picked at the strands of his hair as his head rested on your chest, both of you idly watching a movie on a boxy television. Growing bored with the film, Johnny turned his head and kissed your sternum. Not thinking much of the action, you remained idly focused on the television, which Johnny didn't quite appreciate. His fingers grabbed the hem of your shirt and snuck it upwards until it revealed your stomach and rested underneath your bra, and you frowned, crossing your hands over your stomach.

"Johnny, quit it. What?" You pouted, trying to pull your shirt back down, but Johnny was holding it in place.

"Why do you do that?" He asked, looking more confused than upset.

"Do what?"

"That- the crossin' yer arms over your stomach, you always complain when I kiss it. What's that about?"

You shrugged, blushing slightly. "I dunno. Just... Sorry, I'm just kinda uncomfy with it, I guess," you replied, looking away.

He released your shirt, grabbing your chin instead and making you look at him. "Okay, but why?"

"Cause, it makes me feel weird."

"Weird how?"

"Bad weird."

"You feel bad weird when I kiss your stomach?" He clarified, and you gave a small nod. "Why?"

"Cause I.. I don't know, I feel sorta bad. Like... I- I don't know, Johnny."

"Sure you do. Yer just holdin' back. Talk to me, sweetpea."

You frowned again, letting out a quiet sigh. "Because it draws attention to my chubbiness. And it's embarrassing."

"Why?"

"Why? Well, like, 'cause I don't like the way it looks. It's stupid, I know, but it makes me feel bad. Like, insecure."

"About what?"

"My stomach. I just told you that." Your eyes narrowed, and he looked around, appearing confused.

"What's there to be insecure about?"

"It's not flat. Like- like yours."

"Of course it ain't. You're not me. Why would it be?"

"Like a lotta girls have. I feel like you deserve something better, I guess. Someone prettier, more fit," you murmur, your blush growing more intense as you stated your confession.

"I don't want someone 'more fit'. I want you," he responded, forcing your hands away from your stomach, pinning your wrists to your sides. "Yer perfect for me, darlin'. Got more to bite," he snickered, running his teeth along your skin before gently biting your insecurity, making you wince.

Somehow, the sentiment made your frown lessen, but you still mumbled a complaint. "Still, it's just.."

"What now?" He looked up at you, his voice muffled due to the skin between his teeth.

"Don't you ever want someone more... you? Taller,-"

"Darlin', you're perfect. I ain't just sayin' that. Yer easy to carry, you look amazin' underneath me, and you don't stand a chance against me. What more could a humble cowboy want?" He chuckled, and you cracked a smile, rolling your eyes. "What? Ain't believe me?"

"Not really, but-" You paused as he looked up and glared at you, his eyes narrow, convincing you to give it up. He then gently bit on your skin again, and squeezed at your stomach with his palm, humming against your belly. "Johnny, it's fine, I believe-"

For the third time, you were cut off as Johnny leaned towards you and captured your lips, forcing you into silence so you couldn't complain. He broke the kiss, keeping his mouth only an inch from yours as he spoke. "You're fine, sweetpea. Don't need someone taller, or more fit. You fit me. The more of you there is, the merrier, darlin'. Don't go doubtin' that," he explained, and you couldn't keep yourself from smiling.

"Fine," you sighed, willing to accept defeat if he was going to be so convincing. He chuckled and kissed you again, one hand still on your stomach as he did so, playfully squeezing.

[noxemma]

Kiss and Make Up

Sam (grumpily barging into the bunker kitchen): That’s it! I can’t take it anymore!

Sam (physically picking Cas up off the seat where he’s been sulking and pushing him toward the hallway): Go apologize so you both stop moping around.

Cas (tired and sad, resisting slightly): Sam, I’ve tried. He won’t talk to me.

Sam (deadly serious as he starts dragging Cas to Dean’s door): Cas, it’s been FIVE DAYS. Five days of Dean binging Dr. Sexy 24/7. Five days of you both living in dirty pajamas, not showering, not doing dishes, tension so thick I might need to invest in SCUBA gear.

Cas: Sam, I’ve already apolo-

Sam (ready to tear out his hair): APOLOGIZE AGAIN! Apologize better. I don’t care how you do it, but please, please just kiss and make up already!

Sam opens the door and shoves Cas in. Dean sits on his bed, wrapped in a blanket, his eyes glued to the TV despite Cas’ sudden appearance.

Dean (gruffly): I know Sam put you up to this. He thinks everything will magically get better if you apologize.

Cas (slightly agonized): Dean, I really am sorr-

Dean (angrily): I don’t want to hear another word, Cas. Just, just get out!

Cas stands for a moment, at a loss and in pain at Dean’s harsh words. Then his brow lifts as he recalls Sam’s words.

Cas (whispering mostly to himself): Sam’s right. I’ve been doing this all wrong.

Dean finally turns on the bed to face Cas, evidently paying more attention to the angel than he let on. He is a little shocked to find that Cas has moved to be right next to him, leaving barely any space between them.

Dean (looking up, confused and concerned at the determined look on Cas’ face): Cas, wha-

Cas cuts him off by bending down, firmly cupping his face and drawing him in for a scorching kiss. Dean’s hands land tentatively on Cas’ hips as if he isn’t sure whether he wants to push Cas away or draw him closer. Cas finally pulls back and studies Dean, who looks stunned.

Cas (slightly breathless and oddly shy after the intensity of the kiss): Did it work? Can we make up now?

Dean (blinking and absently running his fingers across his kiss swollen lips): Whoa, um. Wait “make up?”

Cas (nervously rambling): Sam implied that my previous apologies were insufficient and that I should “kiss and make up” with you. I was under the impression that the saying was figurative but after you refused to hear my apology once again, I thought that perhaps it was meant to be literal and that’s why my previous apologies were poorly received.

As Cas speaks Dean realizes just how distressing his anger and avoidance have been to the angel.

Dean (stricken):  Dammit, Cas. I forgive you. Of course, I forgive you. I was just angry. You didn’t need to- I didn’t mean to make you feel like- *sigh* I’ve been an ass. I’m sorry it took you doing something as drastic as kissing me to realize exactly how much of an ass I’ve been.

The room is silent except for Dr. Sexy still playing in the background. Cas doesn’t meet Dean’s eyes, still convinced he’s in the wrong despite Dean’s reassuring words.

Dean (teasing at first but falling flat): Also, while it would be funny to see Sam get a taste of his own medicine, you probably shouldn’t go around apologizing with kisses. Someone might get the wrong idea.

Cas (horrified gaze meeting Dean’s): I would never kiss Sam, or anyone else.

Dean: Oh …

Dean begins to blush as he slowly comes to the realization that Cas has basically just admitted that he only wants to kiss Dean.

Cas: Was it bad?

Dean (confused): Was what bad?

Cas (whispering so softly Dean nearly misses it):  The kiss?

Dean (licking his lip and staring intensely at Cas): Oh, well. I was kinda surprised by it so I couldn’t really say. But, uh, but if you … if you wanted to do it again I could, um, give you some pointers.

Cas (misunderstanding Dean’s words): That’s … you don’t have to do that, Dean. In fact, it was rather selfish of me to ask. I don’t want you to feel obligat-

Dean (grabbing the bottom of Cas’ shirt and pulling him back toward him): Cas, shut up and kiss me already.

Cas obliges, settling onto Dean’s lap to kiss him deeply for several minutes. When they break apart they don’t go far, resting their foreheads against each other, breathless and panting,

Cas (half teasing and half serious): How was that? Better?

Dean (pulling Cas impossibly closer on his lap): Pretty freaking awesome … I mean, you should probably keep practicing.

Cas laughs a little as Dean presses a kiss to his forehead.

Cas (teasingly): I think I could get rather fond of this whole “kiss and make up” idea, although it’s a shame we’d have to fight in order to make up. Dean (flirtatiously): Well then, we should probably just start dating already and make the whole thing easier, boyfriends fight all the time. Cas (shocked, like he didn’t really expect Dean to suggest dating): You think we should start dating? You want to be my … boyfriend?

Dean (fidgeting a bit under Cas and not making eye contact): Um, yeah? If you want me to, but we don’t have to label it or anything if you don’t want. I’m happy being whatever you want me to be. Cas (beaming with happiness and tilting Dean’s head to catch his eye): Boyfriends sounds wonderful. And, as your new boyfriend, I suggest we both shower.

Dean (gasping dramatically): Are you suggesting I stink?

Cas (somehow both sensually and stoically): I’m not denying it, just suggesting that, since my kisses still need practice, I may be able to perform other actions to make up with you. In the shower. Together.

Dean (squirming as Cas punctuates his sentence with a kiss on his neck): Oh. Oh! That’s a great idea, Cas.

They exit Dean’s room, hand in hand, and head down the hallway.

Sam (gloating as he witnesses the hand holding): Finally! Maybe I’ll actually get some peace around here now that they’ve stopped fighting and admitted their feelings.

Muffled moans, gasps, and grunts begin to filter through the thin bathroom door. Sam (horrified and muttering to himself as he puts in earplugs): It’s better than fighting, it’s better than fighting.

[connoisseursdecomfort]

A mini character analysis on Twilight/Loid/[redacted]

As much as I am a tiny bit sad that Loid is still not having that reflection I want him to have after the last arc, I think I will have to remind myself something I posted somewhere else:

“The problem is, Twilight is inching towards his hidden self, [redacted], instead of running towards being ‘Loid’. As much as we want to believe that [redacted] is closer to ‘Loid’ in nature, and that he could have become ‘Loid’ if war didn’t happen, ‘Loid’ is still a work persona created by Twilight to complete Operation Strix. This persona allowed Twilight to ‘love’, but it is also a constant reminder that it is a facade. ‘Loid’ was a middle ground for Twilight to get back in touch with [redacted]. But now it has become a battleground where Twilight and [redacted] are having a standoff.”

I’ll be as patient as I can be.

(Manga spoilers ahead: and an analysis of ch.77)

I see people on twitter saying that everything we love about Loid has gone downhill since ch.62. I don’t necessarily think so because we have ch.68, but it is kinda true he doesn’t seem to get much development on the dad/husband department since the end of the cruise arc. To a point that people started to be angry at him and Endo since ch.75.

Loid has been in this utter confusion since the cruise arc. Before that, he doesn’t realise he has this confusion - he has been able to use the excuse, you know, Loid “for the mission” Forger, to justify everything. The cruise arc is really the first time he’s not on the mission. Basically it takes 50 chapters for Endo to finally ask Loid this important question, “What if it’s not for the mission?”

This poor man has been confused ever since, like in ch.76:

This is, of course, just this stupid man’s way of asking if he’s a good enough father for Anya for the mission. But it doesn’t go away easily. He has been a spy for more than a decade. And before that he was alone for years. Being a Forger for only three months is not going to reverse that many years of trauma.

But his true self is winning. Has been winning since ch.62. He still tries to rationalise everything using his spy radar, and somehow he ends up being absolutely genuine.

In ch. 62, right after this scene where he deliberately reminded himself that this is “Loid’s” house:

He somehow chose to be a real dad instead of being a good spy:

And the same thing happened again in ch.66:

Sandwiched between all the spy-talks he had in his head, there is this transparent bubble. This is also the bubble that convinces me that he knows she is keeping secrets, but somehow he doesn’t care. But this is for another day.

His head says spy, but his actions always speak otherwise.

Endo loves to play with the idea of misinformation. He blatantly said in the fanbook that the info Franky has on the Garden is an exaggerated version of it, and is not accurate. The more obvious example would be the Handler’s arc in Ch.63. This is a story about secrets and lies, but there is a grain of truth in all the lies these characters tell us. Especially Loid “for the mission” Forger. From day 1 we knew Twilight’s a liar and a very cool one. But somehow Endo also makes him to be this genuine and sincere man. And he also needs therapy.

So Endo shows us how much he really needs therapy, just look at all these similarities, like this:

Ch.77

Ch.62.3

Or this: Ch.77

Ch.22

Ch.67.1

But the real fear is always this: am I worthy for the family? Does she feel that I am worthy enough?

Ch. 77

For Loid “for the mission” Forger, this basically translates to, my wife and daughter are upset my mission is failing because I’m not good enough I’m a bad spy. He has hit himself with this “bad spy! bad spy!” mentality so many times, it’s basically a running gag now.

Ch.10

Ch.17.5

Ch.29

Okay I give up finding every single panel of him panicking because it’s too much. But I think you get it.

Mr. Austin is so obviously a foil for Loid. As the therapy unfolds, we were trying to figure Loid out just as Loid tried hard to figure Mr. Austin out.

Loid even asked the same question we want to ask him:

Isn’t that exactly why people are mad at him now? Is he lying to himself when he says for the mission, or is he just lying to us the whole damn time? 

I think the problem is that we are all expecting Loid to be his actual persona. And it could be. But Ch.62 is also reminding all of us that “Loid” is something invented by Twilight. Even Twilight is something invented. By [redacted]. We love Loid. We kinda like Twilight, mostly because he’s hot af. But do we like [redacted], the man with all the flaws and merits Loid and Twilight have?

You see, like father, like daughter. Anya and [redacted] really don’t know what normality is. In Ch. 76:

And in Ch. 77:

They really don’t know what it is like to be a normal family, although they are already in one, and they sure feel very loved.

Remember back in Ch.10/Ep.7, when he said this: “I wonder what it’d feel like to have a real family.” This really is Endo asking [redacted] the same question, “What if this is not for the mission? What if you are in a real family?”

And [redacted] still doesn’t know the answer, although the answer is really there right from the start. He is this stupid, stupid man, who’s also absolutely traumatised and utterly confused. But you know what? If this is a story about recovery and rediscovery, then:

[eroticwound]

Okay so, I’m still getting through the new season but I need to see if I’m the only one who feels the Claire/Carmy scenes this far are kinda a retcon of last season?

Like, putting stupid shipping discourse to the side, one of the main criticisms of that subplot was that there was too much telling and not enough showing of how their relationship progressed as Carmy avoided the renovation. We saw them drop off the liquor license documents, go to the house party, first kiss, Carmy making dinner for her after talking to Fak about whether Claire is actually his girlfriend, and their love scene. Then there is friends and family, where Carmy is freaking out about everything and he inadvertently tells Claire their relationship was a waste of time (meanwhile Claire just said she loved him, which I don’t doubt)

But, according to the new scenes, they spent a lot of time together seemingly as a couple during those few months, as Carmy was clearly infatuated with her in those moments. So I guess my main confusion is — when the hell did all of this happen? Were those scenes before or after Braciole, because at that point Carmy doesn’t actually think of Claire as his *girlfriend* but obviously likes her a lot. Those new scenes scream “they were fully into each other and with mutual affection for each other” and definitely would’ve made me more convinced of their connection — rather than be told by every other character in the Berzatto clan all throughout s2 about how great Claire is for him. Because I never actually *saw* the effect she had on him — we only see it now that Carmy has pushed her away.

So far Claire is haunting the narrative (Carmy), sorta like Mikey in s1. But all of this new info has only made me more confused about the timeline of events and the significance of this romance subplot, rather than provide clarity for why an ongoing conflict is occurring.

i mean, carmy was said to be unfocused and away from the renovation, and that was because he was with claire. everyone says this. syd is especially annoyed by it, because carmy can't spare enough of his attention for the bear, and things are getting dropped. to your point, most of this happens off-camera, but that ep where he fucks off with claire to the post office and the party very much illustrates that.

the thing about the bear is that the first season carmy was solidly our main character, and then second season transitions into more of an ensemble show. there are some incredible pluses because of this, like an entire episode with marcus in copenhagen or richie staging at ever (tho i have issues with forks). however, by dedicating more screen time to fleshing out our ensemble, the show has to dedicate less time to carmy's plots.

and claire as a character and her relationship with carmy are the biggest casualties of this. a really clear example of this is when we follow syd during her food crawl in sundae, instead of sticking with carmy who ditches syd to help claire’s uncle(?) move. i'm sure a scene where we see carmy help claire would have done a lot of work to flesh out her character and their relationship more. but the writers had different priorities, and i am so happy they went with syd on her food crawl instead. that was some great syd character work, and a beautiful ep in general.

claire is not involved with the restaurant, but she's thee focus of carmy's arc second season. there isn't any cause for her to be at the restaurant, and they don't spare any scenes for claire to interact with our ensemble of characters. they only way they can include her in these scenes is to have characters talk about her.

now, how this translates for claire is that she felt very two dimensional, because she only exists in the story in relation to carmy and their (tepid, imo) love story, where they are mostly talking about him or the restaurant. it feels like she spontaneously spawned into the story, and all the characters know of her, but the audience isn't shown how they know her. we have to be told. repeatedly.

as for your timeline question, i think carmy was spending a loooot of time with claire from sundae onward. i think carm was confused about claire being his girlfriend before bolognese (assuming you meant bolognese s2e8, not braciole s1e8) because he's never had a gf before. he’s basically been a food monk most of his adult life (not to say he’s never fucked… tho i am personally in the carm is ace camp). he doesn’t understand the nuance. both the feelings and experience are exciting and bright (and so scary). it’s all new for him!

so the carmy/claire scenes this season did not feel like retconning to me. they really felt like more of the same. which was still bad, imo.

and ugggghhhhhhhh this explicit haunting theme this season felt.. like way too on the nose. like everything with claire, they have to make it obnoxiously explicit because there’s not enough time to flesh it out in a satisfying way. like did they ever have to tell us mikey was haunting everyone in season 1? no! they showed us that. but like their shoehorned love story s2, they have to keep telling the audience directly.

[j2d3]

Mr. Loverman | Jefferson/Mad Hatter x reader | pt 1

Picture this since before the curse you and Jefferson have been best friends, your character is the chesiare cat but a witch version ( NOT A FURY 💀) . This is staged during season one during the time of the curse, your memory is erased but he still remembers you. ( Also Jefferson doesn’t have a daughter in this!!!)

“I don’t get it, how could Mary Margret escape her jail so easily? And why did she ?”

“I don’t know Emma Storybook seems to have a lot of chaos and unanswered questions lately, like a book with a bad ending .” Emma stares for a quick second before bringing her attention back to the road.”

“You’re right, Storybook has been chaotic lately along with a ton of unanswered questions.” We share a smile, Emma quickly looks back to the road and so do I. Right at that moment we see a man in the middle of the road.

“Shit!” Emma yells while pulling the car to the side of the road, there was no damage to the car but to the man there was.

“I’ll go check if he’s ok!” I run out the car and meet the eyes of the man.

“Are you okay?” I ask the man, he seems off put them but then again he’s limping.

“I think so.”

“You sure?”

“I’m fine, nice to share the road with cars so late.” He seems to stand tall even though he’s limping, I look back at Emma, she currently is walking out of her car towards us. I turn my head back towards the man who I think was smirking at me a second ago.

“What brings you out here in the middle of the night?” The question brings me off guard, I don’t met a bunch of strangers who start a normal conversation after they were almost hit by a car.

“I’m looking for a dog.” I don’t mean to call Margret an insult but I usually call people by an animal based of their personality, well in a way it’s not an insult more kind’ve like a compliment?

“Well I hope you find your dog.” He manages a chuckle which confuses me, why would he find it funny well actually I get it.

“Thank you.” I give him a light smile, he smiles back and looks me up and down with a slightly bigger smile.

“Are you sure your okay, your limping?”

“I may have twisted my ankle a bit, but I’ll live!” He laughs and I let out a small laugh with him, his eyes follow mine like a secret admirer.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t see you there!” Emma pops runs up to us, and I catch a glimpse of disappointment in his eyes as soon as Emma comes but I may be seeing things.

“I’m fine, really I’m fine.” Emma then brings up his limping leg and suggests to bring him a ride.

“I Can walk perfectly, just a little twisted, you know my house Is down the road on Mcqill. It’s kinda a quick walk.” I raise my eyebrows at his comment and smile a quick smirk while my eyes are stuck on his.

“Kind of a quick walk?” I smirk and let out a small laugh, I end up convincing him to let Emma drive him home.

.

We arrive at his house, I gotta admit is seems luxurious. He walks up to the door but he stops in the way to turn to me.

“You know I never got your name even though you saved me from a painful walk.” He smiles and has a small laugh.

“Y/n, my name is Y/n!”

“Nice to meet you Y/n, my name’s Jefferson.”He shakes my hand, his grip is tight for a bit before he slowly lets go of my hand.

“Nice to meet you too Jefferson!”

“You know I have some warm tea inside, do you both wanna come inside and have some?”

I look at Emma who still stands beside the car waiting for me, she shakes her head no in which Jefferson gives me a frown.

“I insist.”

“Yea, I would love to have some tea with you.” My voice a hint of nervousness in which he gestures me to follow him, I look back at Emma who follows behind.

.

I’m closer to Jefferson than Emma, I sit next to Emma while we both sip our tea. Jefferson walks up with a map.

“I’m a bit of an amateur cartographer, mapping the area is a hobby.” He opens the map widely and I eye it in awe, he must’ve noticed because he smirked in satisfaction.

“Maybe this will help you track down your dog, what’s his name?”

“Spot!”

“Cute.” As I look at the map I can feel his eyes on me, he brings up his hand to my hair but lowers it out of self control.

“Well, Route 6 runs the boundary of the forest. So, if we just follow that we should be able to…” I look to Emma and she seems out of it, like she’s about to pass out.

“Emma, you okay?”

“Something wrong?” Jefferson’s question follows behind mine.

“I’m just feeling a little… dizzy” I hold onto Emma making sure she falls onto to the couch and not the floor.

“Let me help you, we both hold onto Emma helping her lay on the couch, I stay by her side holding her tight.

“Your limp?” Emma points out and I look in her direction, he stops in his tracks and meets my eyes. I suddenly feel a slight of dizziness take over and I fall on the floor, Emma passes out and soon Jefferson is by my side.

“Did you….drug us?” He holds on to me tight and carries me upstairs, when he finally settles me down on a bed upstairs. At this point I’m close to passing out, he lays besides me while strolling his fingers through my hair.

“Who are you?”

“You don’t remember me now but soon you will, I’ll make Emma fix this and soon you’ll be in my arms again kitty.” I shoot him a confused look before passing out with is touch.

“Sleep well my love.”

[jokingmisfit]

Not A Prayer

Lucifer x Reader

Prompt- “Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks you’re an idiot.”

Warning-Making fun of religion, allusion to sex towards the end, readers kinda mean, insults, cursing

It wasn't that I was trying to be mean. Actually, no. I'm definitely trying to be mean, but I'm only doing it because she doesn't seem to wrap her head around this situation. Everything we say she waves off with religious mumbo jumbo. 

What's worse is having to drag Lucifer around with us, and hes really not enjoying the whole Christianity thing. 

Sam keeps trying to convince her to let us help, but she's just not getting it. 

Dean just wants to leave her for dead at this point. 

I can't help but feel so annoyed. Even when I went to church and believed in all this crap I didn't act like this. 

She looks at me sternly. "Whatever is happening it doesn't matter. Jesus loves me and will protect me from this evil."

I'm absolutely fed up with this woman! Why is she so stupid!

I look at the boys then back to her.Jesus might love you," I said. "But everyone else definitely thinks you’re an idiot.”

Everyone kinda just stopped for a moment. Dean and Sam looked shocked, the girl herself look mortified, and I was too busy feeling pissed at her ignorance. 

It wasn't until Lucifer started laughing that everyone's head caught up to them. 

The girl's face and ears turned red. Tears leaked from her eyes as she said. " I pray to God that you will find the light…"

I am so tired of this 'holier than thou art' bullshit! I stared her dead in the eyes. "I pray to Lucifer that you will shut up and let us help you, but I guess neither of us are gonna have our prayers answered."

"You worship Satan!" She exaggeratedly shouted. 

"No. I just think if we're gonna pray to people who won't answer, why not do the one that freaks you out the most." I said scrunching my face with a smirk. 

The woman scoffed. Before she could say anything else though, Sam stops her. "I am so sorry for my friend," He gritted his teeth and looked at me. "She has had a bad past with religion. You know, in this kinda work you lose a lot of trust and faith in it." He softly states. 

Rolling my eyes I walk out. I hadn't even realized that Lucifer had left the room, so when I saw him leaning on Dean's car I felt confused for a moment. 

He pushed himself off the car with a smile. "There she is!" He laughed. "I LOVE what you said in there. Very funny I gotta tell ya."

I pushed the arm he slung over me off and moved forward to the car. "It wasn't my goal to impress you. I'll take the compliment, but really she's just easy to insult. Every dumb ass is."

I pulled the door open and got into the backseat. I slid to the other side in case Lucifer wanted to get in too. 

"You know," He started as he took the seat next to me. "I'm a little complemented myself." He smirks. 

"And why is that?" I ask, chuckling. 

"Because," He says. "I didn't think you liked me enough to pray to me." Lucifer's smirk grew as he leaned in. 

That didn't actually count as prayer!? It was a stab at the woman's dignity! 

I wipe the confused look off my face in seconds. I put back on my normal mask. Mean, emotionless, angry. 

"That doesn't count as a prayer." I scolded. "It was just to rile her up."

Lucifer leaned in even more. "Mm, it still counts tho." He whispers, touching my cheek." 

I was a bit too shocked to actually react. 

He laughed. Moving his face closer to mine. 

I feel I can't breathe. 

Our lips almost touch as he whispers. "Maybe I can get you to pray for me another way."

[shipcestuous-two]

I’m really sorry this is a long vent, I just wanted an excuse and place to sort through my thoughts, I thought maybe someone will be curious if I were to be honest about explaining technically why I might have potential for incestuous feelings. I more recently submitted about how I thought I got into shipping in relation to my brother, I said something about how like there was one time when I was young he walked in on me masturbating and put a blanket over me, and how I haven’t seen him in a long time.

I think I do have more incestuous feelings, even if they’re more the awareness of a potential, rather than being active.

Other things I forgot to mention are, though I was really young, at some point I knew that if he weren’t my brother he’d be the type of boy I’d like. Later there was one time he came up behind me and whispered on my neck and it gave me a asmr/sensual tingle and I felt embarrassed because I liked to have my neck touched. Or I’d see him shirtless and take notice of his differences to me. I remember not being convinced that I was genuinely grossed out by him specifically.

Whenever I’ve began to wonder how I’d feel about him, it gives me weird feelings, like it’s just interesting and different to think of intimacy mixed with that kind of familial closeness, plus I’m uncomfortable about how I’m seen especially by people who’ve known me a long time. I always have had “confused” or inquiring ideas of the difference between platonic/romantic/aesthetic attraction, and so on, but I think it’s partially just how my sexuality works in general, like one thing can lead to the next and I don’t really see it as a problem even if my feelings don’t always seem to come first and helplessly lead me to know what I like.

My family does have a complex, toxic past, which people think is the “cause of incest” but that’s not always the case. Though I haven’t been truly close with him since we were very little, it’s nothing that would make me not see him as a brother. He’s genuinely only in jail because of something someone else did, and will be there a long time unless my family can help. Even before that, he went to detentions so was away from me a lot, and started hanging out with people and building a persona he wasn’t raised into in order to cope with being mistreated by my dad who didn’t treat me the same way, and because of that he used to I guess resent me but he’s told me a lot that he doesn’t feel that way. He also used to occasionally bother me like he gave me a wedgie one time but it truly wasn’t that uniquely bad. Later I turned against wanting my families often out of control behavior around me, I wish I’d been more present. He wants to make up for making me mad but I don’t feel as innocent as he thinks I am so it’s awkward.

Like I said in the other submission he used to be very playful like we were little again and sit on my bed and want to be in my room a long time, he’s still silly on the phone and changes his tone.

Some of my friends had crushes on him when we were younger. When they told me, I remember realizing I guessed he was kinda cute. In general, I don’t even think my brother is “my type”, he’s used girls as a distraction and has shown that he can be emotionally immature with pushiness or getting upset without very much control, really I just wonder what it would be like if we were raised differently because it’s like I can sense that without circumstance he’d seem perfect to me and we’d be close, I’m not obsessed with it but I just never thought much into it till recently.

It feels safe to have a brother and to remember the most core parts of feeling conscious and naturally connected to another person without sensing society, our dynamic may have affected us more than we realize. He was very excited to have a little sister, he must have been shaped by me too, including unfortunately being eventually made to feel that I was not as much an acceptable target as he came to be, it’s just odd because we barely talk now and only have the sort of spiritual concept but it’s deeper in it’s own way.

I’m not in love with him or always thinking about it. Who knows if I’d end up considering it if things went perfectly, but if I did, I doubt I could unsee it. It’s really just that I’ve seen that I have the potential to be romantically moved by the fact he is my brother and it’s not something anyone else could be to me. I’ve had a younger stepbrother for some years but I also never see him though he wants to see me and I even slightly suspect he might have had a crush on me before he was my stepbrother when he was little but that might have just been him trying to get my attention.

I wouldn’t even consider it so much if it weren’t for me having this thing my whole life where I like to be curious about and empathize with things people see as impossible (I do have mild autism and other things that make me see social things a certain way but it seems to me like no one thinks the way I do). Maybe I wouldn’t consider it much if not for my interests because who knows if one started the other, but it’s not just that because then everyone who ships incest would be more inclined to this. I remember a couple moments considering possibilities like that when I was younger where others wouldn’t be aware of them at all.

So I only allow myself to think this because I’ve gotten past the taboo, I guess I still feel a bit bad, people think if you do you’re desensitizing yourself, but I think the whole concept of desensitization is largely based toward whatever’s currently treated as normal and people just not wanting you to perceive it differently and thinking the way things are is the only legitimate way, so whatever. I don’t think intimacy is invasive just because there are overlapping feelings that people associate from different dynamics, I realized the strange feelings specifically about us being siblings is maybe only about the expectations, and the anticipation of the discomfort he’d feel, because if I knew he didn’t just see me as a little sister, I wouldn’t feel violated by the fact that we are siblings when I consider if I could’ve found him sexually attractive without realizing it, I can’t imagine I would be disgusted by kissing him or anything, I think I would’ve liked it.

I think it's great that you're exploring all these thoughts and that you're not afraid to yourself these questions and to be honest with yourself.

Thanks for sharing this with us!

[inseparableduo]

Part 1

“- So then I just turned off the movie and went to sleep.” Janne sighed. 

“Oh yeah, that’s… wow.” Jenny responded. Clearly not at all listening to anything he just said. 

Janne doesn’t notice at first. Too busy venting about the shitty movie he saw last night. Eventually, he does get frustrated with her half-assed answers and sad voice.

“Am I boring you?” Janne asks genuinely. Putting aside his anger for a second. 

“What? No, it’s just like… I’m exhausted from yesterday.”

“Yeah, that was like an anomaly, Holy shit.” Janne said, thinking back about yesterday. Who knew they would walk into an active crime scene yesterday after dropping off Alex’s pizza. Well, at least the lie of filming porn was convincing enough for the police to leave.

“Was it? Or the week before that, or the week before that - - Why do our lives have to be so fucking eventful?” Jennifer’s voice started to rise as she spoke. Not at all trying to hide her anger as she mentally thought of all the bullshit they’ve been through lately. 

“That’s a legit question, shit…

Do you believe in God?” He asked, almost absently.

“Do you?” Jenny questioned back, still annoyed thinking back on yesterday.

“No.”

“Me neither… You don’t think-”

“We are not going to church.” Janne quickly cut her off. It’s then that his phone goes off. He looks down and sees an unknown number. 

“Don’t know that number, wonder who that is.” He mused to himself.

“Let me guess. Bomb threat, rapist murder guy oh my god…” Jenny replied in a fake horror but overall bored voice and rolled her eyes. 

Janne then answers the phone and puts it on speaker. “Hello?”

“Hello this is the —------ correctional holding facility.”

“I knew it.”

“You have a collect phone call from…”

“Janne answer the fucking phone it’s your brother.”

“To accept these chargers press 1.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Janne sighed before pressing 1.

“Janne. Why isn’t mom picking up her phone?”

“I don’t know? Call her up and ask her.” 

“God. You both are so fucking dumb.” Jenny then scoffs.

“Ok. See you later, byeeee.” Janne then went to end the call only to be interrupted.

“Wait. Wait. Is that Jenny?”

“Yeah… why?”

“I met someone in here who wants to talk to her. Hold on a sec, ok?”

“Oh my god.” Jennifer spoke up, just a tiny bit scared. Last she checked, she didn't know anyone in jail.

“... This is gonna be a really expensive phone call.” Janne sighed. 

“Uh hello?”

“Uh, who dis?” Janne questioned.

“It’s me Kyle?”

“Kyle who?” Jennifer spoke up. Not having the slightest clue to who it was.

“We were at the barcade yesterday, remember?”

“Oh shit… yeah?” She replied. Her voice still a little confused. Where the fuck was this going?

“So I thought it over, and I killed my mom… So you guys wanna go out in 10 years when they let me out?”

“Uh… Yeah I don’t know.”

“Aw come on! You promised! You can’t back out now.” Kyle yelled over the phone. “What do you think, Janne?”

“I’m thinking how the fuck are you getting out in 10 years.”

“You wanna hear how I killed her? Would that turn you guys on?”

“Would it?” Janne thought out loud as he tilted his head and looked up. He was genuinely considering it.

“What the fuck! Hang up!” Jennifer whisper shouted to him.

“YOU SAID YOU’D BE ALL MINE! ALL MINE!”

Kyle shouted over the phone and Janne then finally hung up. 

“That was cool.”

“I’ve never felt worse in my life.” Jennifer said, bringing a hand to cover her mouth as she felt light-headed. 

“Dude, don’t worry about it. The fact he followed through means his mom was probably a total bitch anyway.” Janne said, calmly. Unlike his best friend, he wasn’t at all affected by what just happened. Despite it being his idea to begin with anyway. 

“I guess that’s possible.” Jennifer said, now just resting a finger on her lips. 

“And look at the bright side, he killed her for you. You’re technically the hottest girl in school now.”

“You’re kinda right.” She smiled.

“Yeah, they might even make a lifetime movie about this. Who do you think should play you?”

“Um… I don’t know.” She then flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I’ll think it over in class. You coming today?” 

“Yeah.”

[callsigncrash]

Bam here I am again-

Yakumo boyo and ur fav characters with a shapeshifter s/o that in real form is basically a squishy slimy moomin and whenever they're really tired and sleepy s/o gets into their real form and just snuggles up with the Cc

I think it would be kinda funny too for some day the Cc see s/o shapeshifted as them just trying on some clothes they were thinking on buying/gifting to said Cc or shape shifting into something big and fluffy and soft to cuddle up with them and be the big spoon

Anygays, have a good cycle of 24 hours:3

“Would you still love me if I were a moomin?”

I had to do this edit. This was the exact image that flashed into my head when I read the ask 😭❤️

________________________________________________

Tokyo Ghoul

________________________________________________

Yamori

He’s…stunned…to say the least. That’s at first! After a while, and some explaining, he understands.

He finds you very interesting and endearing.

The day that he finds you, well him, trying on his clothes, he just kind of laughs. You like him so much that you’d try and be him? Well alright then!

If he’s got something important to go to, he might ask if you could shapeshift into him so he could compare and see what looked better for the event or meeting.

Doesn’t mind any of the sleeping arrangements you have. He’s just happy to have you.

He’s very interested in how you came to be, your past, and your general background. It’s all very new and exciting from a scientific standpoint.

Naki

He’s convinced that it’s a joke at first, and then you turn into him, and then into your moomin form. That’s when he gets it.

He gets used to it after a while and he gets so many ideas.

You can help him with outfits, for pranks, his mischievous plans, etc.

Much like Yamori, he loves cuddles, a lot more openly anyways, so he’ll be excited for sleep, regardless of what form you take.

He also finds your moomin form adorable so expect to see little doodles of you on random slips of paper.

________________________________________________

The Boys

________________________________________________

Black Noir

Compound V is doing some seriously weird stuff to supes.

He’s somewhat confused but then he realizes that it’s just shapeshifting powers so he understands now.

He has to remind himself off and on that when you’re tired or just relaxing, that you’re not human.

You shapeshifting into him comes in handy for those days where he has to do appearances but is on a mission or just not available.

He has fun with the shapeshifting thing with you. He just finds it really interesting.

He likes hugging and cuddling regardless so he’s really happy that you want to do the same!

________________________________________________

Side note, I’m so sorry for the slow turn around times. I really enjoy doing requests but it’s been taking me a while. So sorry!

[sukirichi]

Oki just read the new update and your reply to my ask cause tumblr does like to send me notifs 😒 and i dont know what to feel about this update?

Last chapter i was over the moon since more and more it felt like my whole theory about Rin wasnt just a theory after all and that Rin was in fact in love with us, but didnt realize it

In this chapter i can see that even more - he's jealous, he's confused, he feels like being around her instead of us is wrong, he doesn't feel like reaching to clean her tears and comfort her but he has to fight the urge when its us, when its our tears, our sadness. And even he knows that when he told Iris 'it's always you' he didn't feel it 'his heart was not in that room, it was with us' and i believe that's why he stupidly wants to shift the blame to us, cause it hurts him to even imagine us with someone else, cause he very much knows he fucked up by hurting us first, he ultimately blames himself for the stupidity he's been doing, for the cheating and he rather shift the blame and say 'i cheated thanks to you!' than face the fact he got himself in this mess by his own crave for affection.

And this makes me happy in a way cause even tho i want to punch Rin (out of love ofc) im still Rin team (sorry tooru) but at the same time i dont know what to feel?

My heart kinda broke when we can see that he 'fell' for Iris because she treated him like a normal person, she treated him like a friend and the whole 'he's in love with the idea of her' theory i had kinda transformed more into 'he's in love with what she made him feel' he felt like just a person around her, like ge had a friend and for someone who felt lonely and craved affection- that did it for him. He didnt catch feelings for her, he caught feelings for how she made him feel. And that really made me want to hug him and protect him againat everything.

Well until the very last part where he just takes off the ring and leaves us alone like 😒😒 rin you fucking idiot

Also 👀 that destroy her part i sure hope the her is iris 8D

Again at the end of the day thats how i view the chapter and my own theories ahahaha correct me if im wrong uwu

i mean, what if he does love us 👁 but how would he know anything about love when he doesn’t know what it means 👁 AND ACK i’m so happy you noticed those details !! even in the first chapters, rin always reacted strongly whenever it was yn who was involved. the only time he got really mad for iris’ sake was when he thought we were shooting her 😭 and each time he says ‘its always you’ to iris, it sounds more like he’s convincing himself it has to BE her, but his heart isn’t really in the same place anymore :( and bcos he’s so confused with his feelings, he responds by shifting the blame on us simply bcos its easier than confronting himself.

‘he didn’t catch feelings for her, he caught feelings for how he made her feel’ so true ! and iris didn’t even treat him that good either, she just talked to him and more often than not, spoke down on him like he was a dumb, naive guy (which he was, but. she really exploited that.) your theories are absolutely correct though and i am so so happy you noticed these details because it really shows a lot on who they are 🥹

[evillainist]

does anyone else have like, super contradicting gender/sexuality labels? like i call myself a nonbinary transmasc demigirl and a lesbian (long post ahead)

i use transmasc VERY loosely here because i started transitioning at 13, and, in some ways, masculinity is integral to my identity, but i also do not identify as a man at all. i think the best, albeit still confusing, way to describe it is that i identify as somewhat masculine, but not in a man way

i think that part of the reason why i still keep transmasc as part of my labels is because i solely identified as a boy from when i realized i was trans after starting puberty (so at around 11) to when i realized i was nonbinary when i was around 17, and now i feel like i have to keep the transmasc label around for some kind of self (or honestly even social) validation of my transness. the discourse surrounding afab nonbinary people that’s been rapidly increasing recently definitely doesn’t help (for the record, they’re all valid). it’s really hard to accept myself when i see so many people invalidating people who have similar identities to me

my gender is so unstable and constantly shifting, but since i realized i was nonbinary, i’ve been slowly “reclaiming my femininity” for lack of better words. within the past month or so, it’s gotten to the point where i identify most strongly with femininity, but also nothing at all at the same time. being nonbinary, maybe agender, is the core of my identity, but i’m slowly becoming more comfortable with the idea of presenting and identifying as something girl adjacent recently. it feels different now that it’s something i want rather than something that was forced onto me from birth

don’t get me wrong, i do not regret transitioning, and i’m definitely not detransitioning. being trans is an integral part of my identity and that isn’t going away just because i’m finally able to embrace my femininity

me being a lesbian is something i’ve only started to realize and accept recently. i didn’t think it was okay for me to call myself a lesbian even though i’m a feminine-ish identifying person who is only attracted to women and feminine identifying nonbinary people

i hold myself to weird standards compared to everyone else. it’s self-hypocritical of me because i believe that transmasc lesbians are valid, he/him lesbians are valid, and so many other “contradictory” lesbian identities are valid, but me identifying as a lesbian? not valid. i’ve finally started to accept it and embrace it because i AM a lesbian, but there’s still that small part of my brain that’s like “you can’t be a lesbian”

this post is not just me seeking validation (although it would be nice because of how much my brain tries to convince me i’m not valid). i’m just kinda rambling/venting/ranting, whatever you wanna call it.

anyway, tldr; gender and sexuality are fucky. i’m kinda a girl, not in a cis way even though i’m afab. i’m just reclaiming my femininity, and if anyone is even reading this, i just want you to know that you’re valid

[moonstone27ls]

Unicorn Warriors Eternal ep 9

Not giving spoiler warnings either. I’ve had a rough week too tired.

Sooo... a LOT has happened.

So physically Seng hasn’t aged (as far as I can tell) mentally or spiritually he has because of the cosmic plane or whatever.  Still part of me is convinced Morgan is in the “evil” because it goes after Melinda a LOT. 

While a part of me is okay that Edred put his feelings aside for the bigger picture. I’m gonna be honest not still sold on Winston being part of the team.

Again its not earned. Its just there for plot convenience if you read my views from ep 8. Whatever the reasons (writing/time crunch, etc), Winston in my opinion hasn’t earned it.

I thought we’d get an interesting ep where he’d have some ACTUAL character development. Have to fight being a monster. But the factor that he’s literally vocal under a short amount of time, just makes me think. “Dude you feigned that whole “Oh I’m a monster” just to get into Emma’s pants”. Before shippers or lovers bash me for even criticizing precious Winston. I’ll make it clear. I don’t hate the guy.

Separately on their own I’m actually okay with Emma/Winston. Whats bothering me is that this ridiculous love triangle is still going on. So with no real development other than to give drama, Winston just still annoying to me. Still acting like this is an outing (closest to him being serious was when he saw Melinda fight), I mean I’ll be honest his pompous attitude rubs me wrong. He’s like “Oh I’m a whiz at chess.” and “Oh I know ALL about science fantasy from my books”. I dunno its either the tone or again I REALLY hate love triangles. So for this to drag on makes it tiresome.

Ironically I feel little feeling for Winston. I’m more sorry for Edred. He’s literally given up his home/identity/ life/ and he’s finally transitioning into the factor that Emma is sharing duality with Melinda. And more importantly, the woman he sacrificed it all for... either doesn’t remember him or isn’t there.

And I’ll also say again I don’t believe Melinda has feelings for Winston. I’ve seen enough of her character. She’s literally the stereotypical tough character(I wanna say like Raven but that feels too simple). I feel like if she was in there she’d be annoyed with Winston just as she was with Emma.

And I’ll admit the duality shared here is... confusing. Its not Melinda, but its not fully Emma either. Its like watching Aang had to share his body with the previous avatars and they were all tug of waring for control.

I do give Winston points for trying to be accepting? I say trying cause again to me he still feels out of place. And the guy will only apparently be useful every full moon... sooo heh. 

But I also think this is hard for me because Tartakovsky kinda .... I don’t wanna say fails but he’s kinda... meh on romances. If this series continues I REALLY for the love of all good want the love drama dropped. 

That being said... still wonder whats the endgame in regards to Edred? I know  Tartakovsky said Melinda’s his favorite and that this story is focusing on her. Which I don’t mind, I just kinda don’t want to see Edred fallen to the waysides.

I wanna think that Edred’s love for Melinda(and vice versa) is genuine because he keeps showing us all these flashbacks with them. I feel like that’s there to solidify their relationship. And the final shot is with HIM seeing Melinda (not counting Emma cause she’s more the vessel. I know he’s not really in love with Emma) get separated. 

Now onto Melinda/Emma. I do like their story arcs. This story is shaping Melinda more out. On the exterior yes she seems the tough/warrior like sorceress. But her flashbacks from her childhood and with Edred. Show her vulnerability and the trauma thats affected her from losing her mother.

Their...duality or amalgamation is confusing me a bit. But I constantly remind myself that this is part of Tartakovsky ‘s plan and that its a metaphor for growing up.

And Emma herself I am happy with. She’s matured a lot from this experience as from the beginning. She fought this. But now she sees the bigger picture. Its bigger than her or Winston. She’s needed to help Melinda and the others fight.

Anything else.... kinda feel those incarnation descendants are probably going to be the ones to help her get to the others. Cause I don’t see any other way how she would8B. Sooo good luck next fight.

[stargazer-sims]

15 OC Questions!

I was tagged by the lovely @rebelangelsims (twice! But I'll happily do two of these!) I love this type of ask, where the character gets to answer the questions in their own words. It's a great way to improve (or create) narrative voice, and I love the challenge of making it sound convincing, as if the character really is answering it themselves.

Victor Okamoto-Nelson

Are you named after anyone?

Actually, yeah. I’m named after my mom. Her real first name is Victoria, which a lot of people don’t know because she’s always gone by her middle name, Grace. Anyway, if I’d been a girl, I would’ve been Victoria too, but I turned out to be a boy, so I’m Victor instead.

I'm also named after my dad, Thomas Edward Nelson. Thomas and Edward are my two middle names. I lost my dad when I was six, and it’s always meant a lot to me that I have his names because it's like I'm carrying a part of him with me no matter where I go.

When was the last time you cried?

Oh. Uhh… yesterday? I cry pretty easily, and it doesn’t take much. Yuri, my husband, likes to joke that I cry for everything, and he’s kinda not wrong. I mean, it’s not always full-on sobbing. In fact, it’s mostly not, but getting teary-eyed is still technically crying, so… yeah. I guess I’m soft, or I’m not very good at masking my emotions, or something.

Do you have kids?

No. Yuri and I don’t want any. We’re enough for each other.

Do you use sarcasm?

Not really? I think you have to be smarter than I am to use it effectively. Plus, sometimes it’s just confusing. And also, it sometimes feels kind of mean to answer people with sarcasm.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their physical condition. Like, if they look healthy or not, whether they’re fit or not and if they’re moving and talking and breathing comfortably. I know that’s probably weird, but it’s something I really pay attention to.

What’s your eye colour?

Blue. They're almost the exact same shade as my mom's. Someone once described them as 'oceanic blue' and even though I've seen the ocean before, I never really saw why that person made that comparison until I visited Sulani for the first time. Mine and my mom's eyes aren't just oceanic blue. They're Sulani ocean blue.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I don’t like movies that are seriously, intentionally meant to scare people. I enjoy some of the more campy horror movies, but I don’t want to see anything that’s gonna give me nightmares. Yuri also doesn’t like scary movies, so I never have to worry about sitting through one for him either. We both prefer happy endings, or at least endings where most — or even better, all — of the characters are still alive.

Any special talents?

I don't think so? I'm super awesome at snowboarding, but I don't think that's what you're asking. Yuri says I give really good massages. Is that a special talent?

Where were you born?

Willow Creek

What are your hobbies?

Snowboarding? Oh, you mean other than my obsession, right? I love cooking and baking. Is that a hobby? I like fishing, gardening and playing video games. Dog training is probably a hobby, right? I really enjoy working with the dogs.

Have you any pets?

Yes, we have two dogs. Rosie is a smooth-coated chihuahua, and Sango is a Pomeranian. When we move to our new house, Yuri wants to have chickens and maybe a cat.

What sports do you play/have played?

All the sports! Seriously, I haven't yet found a sport that I'm not good at. I love all kinds of sports and I've played a lot of different ones. My favourites are soccer, swimming, and of course snowboarding. Not to brag or anything, but I'm a world-class competitive snowboarder. Like, I mean... shredding is life. If I couldn't be on the mountain, I think I'd be super depressed, because that's one of the things that makes me feel most alive.

How tall are you?

187cm

Favourite subject in school?

Physical Education. I wasn't really that great in any academic subjects, but I liked P.E. a lot and I also liked Home Economics.

Dream job?

This is a hard one, because I think I have more than one option for my dream job. Like, my current job as a wellness coach and personal trainer is amazing. I love helping people reach their health and wellness goals. and I'm really happy doing this. But, even when I was in college, doing my diploma program in Health and Wellness Management, I was still thinking about my future career. I thought I'd like to be either a physical therapist or a nurse. These days, I'm leaning more towards licensed practical nursing, and maybe specializing in home health care. I think I'd be good at that.

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I'll tag: @holocene-sims @theageofsims @ljfoxie @cawthorntales @dandylion240 (I know you've already done this) and @blithesomebawcock

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[streamafterlaughter]

Fundamental Differing

Chapter III: Bleed the Freak

masterlist | playlist | chapter II

summary: you continue getting used to your circumstances, staying strong willed in the fight against the one thing you want.

tags/warnings: adult themes, excessive drinking, angst, rockstar!eddie x rockstar!reader, gnc!reader, slow burn, heartbreak

a/n: am i destroying your lives with how sad these two idiots are yet? hopefully ch IV will be out much sooner, im already writing it. this one is a lot of filler but y’all need to learn what happened in the time gap somehow! Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated. reblog to support the author!

June 1986

“Tada!” Eddie gestures to your new bed frame, shoved against the wall of a brand new trailer in Forrest Hills.

“You sure you want this? We’ve only been together for six months. What if we hate each other? What if-“

“Sh, sh. Babe, if I didn’t want this, I wouldn’t have done it. C’mon, now.” Eddie grabs your mattress from against the wall. “Help me move this?”

You grab the other corners of the mattress, heaving it onto your new frame. “Wanna try it out?” Eddie wiggles his eyebrows at you, and you make a show of rolling your eyes before shoving him onto the mattress, still without any sheets.

-

Present Day

Your POV

“So-“ “Um-“ You both speak at the same time.

“You can-“ “You go-“

You both laugh dryly, then fall to an awkward silence. You break it first, “Look, you shouldn’t feel like you have to talk to me, I don’t know what Steve said, but-“

“Y/n, if I didn’t want to talk, I wouldn’t.”

You nod, a little embarrassed.

“How’re you doing?” You ask him finally.

He raises an eyebrow at you, genuine confusion written on his features. “How am I doing? That’s a stupid question.” You roll your eyes. This is the most you’ve spoken to him in years, and none of it is substantial. You squirm under his glare, suddenly very aware of your shoes.

“Look, I’m not happy about it either, seeing you has brought up a lot of unwanted memories.”

“Unwanted?” You almost think he sounds hurt.

You nod, your lips pressed together. Icing Eddie out is the only way you see yourself making it through the season. “You think I wanna drag up all our dirty laundry on my first big tour? It’s not like we ended things too amicably. This shouldn’t be at the forefront of my mind right now.”

Eddie shrugs, his arms crossed over his chest. “I didn’t know you still felt so strongly.” You can’t tell if he’s putting on an act, or if he’s finally over you.

“Well, how do you feel?” You shouldn’t care. You should stop talking to him right now, actually.

He shrugs again. “Album cover kinda threw me for a loop.” He chuckles nervously.

“I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”

Eddie snorts, but he doesn’t look amused. “How’d you imagine me finding out, then?”

“You wouldn’t have been anywhere close to me, for one. I dunno, I pictured you watching MTV or something, or seeing it at a record store and falling to your knees.” You try to joke, but he doesn’t laugh. “Something less immediate, I guess.”

“So you’ve been thinking about me?”

You groan, “I didn’t really have a choice, considering the subject matter.” Eddie looks at you, worry carved into his forehead. “You haven’t listened to it yet, huh?”

“Should I be concerned?”

It’s your turn to shrug. “Depends on how you receive it, I guess.”

“That’s not reassuring.”

You take a sip of your drink, willing it to get you drunker. “I’m not trying to reassure you. I don’t need your feelings on my conscience.” It comes out harsher than you intend, and Eddie winces at your words. You don’t take them back though. The further you can push Eddie away, the better both your chances for a good tour are, you’re convinced.

“Right, well, I’m gonna go.”

You nod. “I think that’s a good idea.”

He turns, throws the door open, and saunters out of the green room. It takes everything in you not to break down.

-

Eddie’s POV

Ouch. Eddie isn’t sure what he expected, but he can feel his hopes crash down. His heart sinks to his stomach as he wills himself back into the crowd. No one’s around to guard him, and he lets the fans swarm like locusts, ready to eat him alive.

“Hey, HEY! Back up, move aside!” Steve comes galloping from the far side of the room, wiggling his lanky limbs between sweaty bodies as they fight to reach the tips of Eddie’s fingers, or the ends of his hair. “Eddie, man, what the fuck are you doing?! You need to tell a guard, or me, when you do this shit!” Steve’s shrieking over the screaming girls surrounding him. Eddie ignores his protests, snatching markers to sign tickets, posters, and any pieces of skin offered to him. It doesn’t fill the void in his chest, the one you’d left when you ripped his heart out, but it’s a welcome distraction. It feels good to mean something to these strangers without having to give a shit about them in return.

Just as Eddie’s thoughts are about to pull him under, Steve yanks his wrist out of the mob of people, and into a seat at the bar. “Nope, no, Eddie’s not signing things right now, you gotta go.” Steve shoos the remaining kids away, while Eddie waves at the few that catch his eyes. “Are you suicidal?” Steve sits back into his own stool. Eddie avoids the question, biting his bottom lip until he tastes blood. “Oh my god, are you suicidal? What happened?”

Instead of answering right away, Eddie waves the bartender down, and orders his fourth whiskey of the evening. The room is only slightly spinning, Eddie knows how to hold his liquor. He’d rather face the consequences tomorrow than have his mind stuck on you all night, the words that flew from your tongue and right into his heart, somehow breaking it all over again.

When she returns with his drink, Eddie hands the bartender a five, sending the busty brunette a wink. She giggles at him pathetically, leaning into Eddie to whisper in his ear. He nods his response, whispering back to her before she skips away, a shit eating grin on her face.

Steve can’t help but sit there, mouth agape, eyes wide. “What?” Eddie asks, almost innocently.

“What the hell was that?”

“She told me when she gets off, I told her she could help me get off.” Eddie shrugs. When she returns, she slides him a piece of paper with her number scribbled on it. “Thanks, darlin’. I’ll be sure to call.” He’s grown used to the attention from people, fans of not. It’s easy to get into bed with someone when there aren’t strings attached. Eddie hasn’t let himself love since losing you. On tour he chooses to fill his spare time with meaningless sex, trying his best not to picture you on top of him instead. But he’d never say that out loud, even to Steve.

Steve can read Eddie like a book, though. “That shit isn’t healthy, man. It’s not my business as your friend what you do or who you do it with, but as your Record Label Assigned Babysitter for this tour, it’s the first thing I need to watch out for.” He tries getting Eddie to look at him, but his eyes are behind him, already signaling the bartender to bring him a fifth drink. “Alright, that’s it. I’m cutting you off.” Steve yanks Eddie’s free arm as hard as he can, managing to bring him to his feet.

“C’mon, big boy, let me play a little longer.” Eddie whines, making a scene of grabbing for the counter.

Steve only rolls his eyes before tossing another three dollars onto the bar, and begins dragging Eddie back towards the dressing rooms while shielding him as best he can from the crowd.

-

You POV

It’s 3AM when you and Robin finally swing your hotel room door open. “That wasn’t so bad!” Robin exclaims, ripping her tight t-shirt over her head in favor of a much baggier one. You do the same, ripping your dress from your body like you’re unwrapping a christmas present. Once you’ve pulled up your shorts, you climb into your bed, facing Robin as she mirrors your position.

“It was kinda bad.” You mumble, avoiding her gaze.

Her eyes widen. “Do tell?”

You sigh, knowing this will probably all reach Steve by lunch tomorrow whether Eddie tells him or Robin. You decide there’s nothing worth dancing around it. “I talked to Eddie.” Robin’s mouth falls open, but she doesn’t interrupt. “Not for long, not really about anything. I think I might’ve been a bit mean. I told him I didn’t care how he felt about the album.”

Robin’s quiet for a second, hopefully not completely judging your character. “I think you do care. Immensely.” There’s no hint of sarcasm in her voice, she’s simply telling it like it is. And of course, she’s right. “You told me yourself, when we were writing Decay With Me, you didn’t want to hold him back from his dreams, right? So you never told him about us getting signed to Sub Pop.” It rips you apart hearing Robin’s gentle voice give you such a harsh reality check.

“I know, and I still stand by that decision. I’m sure he’s grateful for it.” It hurts to speak the words out loud, but you mean them. Eddie deserves to be the rockstar he was born to be, and you were only ever holding him back. Getting signed was an excuse to leave, but telling him that would have had him trying to make it work between you two. If you were being honest with yourself, you wanted the space from him, too. You’d wanted to find who you were outside of Eddie, beyond your relationship with him, and all you’d discovered was that you’d made a huge mistake.

-

Eddie’s POV

He hunches over the toilet of his hotel room, making noises he’d previously only heard in horror movies. He can usually hold his liquor, but all the whiskey combined with his conversation with you has left him drained and sick. Luckily, he has the hotel room to himself, and plans to use that to his advantage. He pulls the bartender’s number out of his pocket. When he can’t read the numbers, he tosses it in the trash.

When the room stops spinning, Eddie rises from his spot on the floor, heaving himself to his feet. He barely makes it to the bed, where he flops down onto the mattress, still fully clothed. He lands on something sharp, and rummages around in his jacket until he pulls the CD out of his pocket. Eddie inspects it again, willing himself to open it. Instead he flips it over, and reads the track list.

Decay With Me

Choke On It

Underneath Hell

Pretty Boy

Indiana

Broken Brain

Tighten Up

Skin Deep

Smell Her On You

Tinnitus

Going Home

He reads them over and over again, theorizing what they could be about before he plays the album. He’s not even sure he wants to listen, if he’s ready for the words you could’ve written about him. He’s written his own, about you, masking his feelings in analogy and imagery, but you’ve always been unafraid of saying exactly what you mean. He knows it will be the reality check he needs to really get over you, but he wants to keep his grip on the false hope for as long as he can. He shoves the album into his suitcase, willing his brain to forget about it for now.

-

“Up and at ‘em, big guy!” Steve barges into Eddie’s hotel room early, rousing him from another dream about you, or nightmare about the Upside Down, immediately making him aware of the intense pounding in his head. He throws his pillow over his face and groans as Steve busies opening the shades. “C’mon, man,” He yanks the comforter off of Eddie, pulling another frustrated growl from him. “You have press all day today, or did you forget that when you were drowning yourself in liquor?”

“Just give me five minutes and another whiskey, I’ll be good as new!” Eddie whines into the pillow. Steve exhales as Eddie rolls over, hands resting on his hips as he makes sure Eddie commits to standing up.

“Are you able to function?” Steve’s tone is stern, and guilt settles deeply into Eddie’s chest.

“Yeah, man. I’m good.”

“What the hell happened last night?”

“You walked me to my fuckin’ death is what happened.” Eddie spits as he enters the bathroom to splash water on his tired face.

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/n wanted nothing to do with me. Told me they don’t care about,” he air quotes, “‘my feelings.’”

Steve looks at Eddie with genuine sympathy. “I’m sorry, man. They’re gonna be a lot harder to break than I thought. Just know they didn’t mean that.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “I should’ve known better than to listen to you.”

“You can cry about how I’m the devil on our way to the interview, let’s go!”

“The devil would let me have another drink.” Eddie mumbles, gathering his clothes from the previous night.

“Not gonna happen!”

-

Your POV

The shoot for Spin Magazine is hectic, with stylists and makeup artists bustling around you like a glamorous pit crew. Right now, you’re in clothes you’d wear everyday; an oversized flannel, a Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt, a long black skirt, and big, thick boots. Despite the comfort of familiarity, the outfit is still purposefully exaggerated, but it’s nothing compared to the dress waiting for you on the rack.

You try your best not to squirm while Harley does your makeup. She’s the one friend you hadn’t lost touch with from Boston. She’d made a point of insisting on being your personal makeup artist “when you make it big.” Though you’d snorted at her words only a decade ago, you kept your promise.

Harley moves on to Robin, patting dark red eyeshadow on her eyelids. You inspect yourself in the vanity, the mirror streaked and dusty. Something turns in your stomach as your thoughts escape you. Death Dance is still a relatively small name in your scene, even since getting signed. Having all of this attention on you is something you still can’t fathom. You wanted this, you do want this, but you’re not so sure you can handle the pressure. People are constantly watching you, some even waiting for you to fail.

“Y/n?!”

“Yeah, hi, what?” You’re snapped out of your spiral before you get too stuck, knowing it’s a breakdown you’ll return to later.

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for like five minutes!” Robin waves her hand in front of your face, and you don’t even blink. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I'm great! Let’s get this show on the road!” You shrug your shoulders, shaking off the weight stuck on your back. Sylvie comes up behind you, clasping their hands on your shoulders, and you relax at their touch.

“You got this. Let’s go look sexy!”

The rest of your bandmates agree with piercing cheers, and you join them.

-

Eddie’s POV

“So, on your new album Freak Show, there’s a song titled Sweetheart. It’s far different from the rest of the tracks, a calming break before the climax of Severed Thumb and Wiped Clean. What influenced this mood change?”

The interviewer is a young girl, probably in college. She’s wearing a light blue blouse, buttoned all the way to the top, and a pair of white jeans. She sits across from Eddie in their dressing room, as he waits for CC to be called for their shoot. Eddie bounces his leg nervously, jonesing for a cigarette.

“Uh, well,” he laughs timidly, “Sweetheart is about someone that was once very close to me. It’s about love and loss, and a whole shit ton of heartbreak, and the one person that never made me feel like, the freak, y’know?”

The girl nods, scribbling something on her notepad. “Do you still talk to this person?” She’s not prying for explicit information, unlike plenty of interviewers Eddie’s experienced.

“That’s um, it’s complicated.” No. It isn’t. He doesn’t talk to you anymore, not on purpose. Beyond the failed conversation last night, Eddie doesn’t know if he’ll ever get to speak to you again outside of shop talk.

She moves on. “Who would you consider to be Corroded Coffin’s influences? Biggest inspirations?”

Eddie hates this question. He doesn’t try to make his music sound like anyone else’s, but originality is dead in the eyes of art, he’s learned. He humors her. “We’re all really big Metallica fans. Master of Puppets has a huge spot in my heart. Bands like Rage Against the Machine, Nine Inch Nails, and Alice in Chains were also on frequent rotation during the early stages of writing. Bleed the Freak is a masterpiece of a song.”

The interview continues, with Eddie trying his best to stay focused. He spots you walking down the hallway, past his room, dressed in a long tattered dress, your bandmates in suits of the same condition. He wonders how you must feel, being in the spotlight for real for the first time.

“Eddie, wrap it up, your turn for makeup.” Steve snaps him back to reality. Eddie sends Steve a thumbs up, and the interviewer says her goodbyes before shuffling out of the dressing room. As soon as the door closes, Eddie sends a shot of whiskey down his throat, and wills himself to continue the day.

-

chapter IV

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