#and also sorry for deleting my post from four years ago

[silver-1eaves]

can i stand in your light just for a while?

[arthur-r]

hello new self portrait just dropped which means this is officially what i look like now

[angelltheninth]

Hi!! Sorry to be a bother, but there's a gojo drabble? from you reblogged about over a year ago where Y/N fakes an orgasm for Satoru and he punishes Y/N by overstimulating them. I can't remember the blog it came from, so finding it is a little bit difficult. Feel free to delete this if it's too much of a bother since that was from a long time ago aaaaa

Also wanted to come in and say I absolutely love your writing and all the different fandom you write for! Keeps my multi-fandom heart, whole <3

I vaguely remember what you mean but I don't remember the exact post. I can try my best to write it with Gojo.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, punishment, overstimulation, being manhandled, teasing, dirty talk, implied free use

A/N: I can't seemed to get enough blorbos and fandoms to write about so what can I say? I love to provide.

Dizzy, sensitive, crying, pussy feeling so fucking good, all of these were the things you currently experiencing. Gojo kept moving you up and down on his cock, refusing to let your orgasm die, constantly giving you one after the other.

"How many does that make?" He asked all cheeky and smug. Every lift and tug pushed a new wave of cum up your pussy and made his blue eyes widen with happiness. "Ten?"

"Don't know. But Gojo please, I don't know how many more I can take." You couldn't even muster the strength that to hold onto him anymore. His hands were all that kept your body from falling back onto the bed. Gojo shrugged, he didn't care that your toes curled again and that your head fell to the side.

This was what you got for faking it with him. You thought he wouldn't notice, that he was in a hurry. But as soon as he finished fucking the remaining cum into you he called in and told everyone he couldn't do any missions or lessons today. After that it's been non-stop fucking, he didn't let you off his cock unless you needed to go into the bathroom.

"You can take as many as I say you can." His tone was so gentle, so opposed to his firm hands gripping your hips and using your body like a toy. "My naughty girl deserves all the orgasms in the world." Now that sounded a bit more like a threat simply due to the fact that you've already had more then you had all week.

"Gojo." You whimpered his name as your pussy clenched around him again, flooding his cock and the sheets. "Gojo, I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for. I'm just here to make my girlfriend feel good. All day long." All day. He just said he would fuck you all day. He would keep thrusting in and out without rest, no matter how limp you got, how tired your body was, Gojo wouldn't stop until the Sun rose again the next day.

Gojo wasn't a man of empty promises. Not an hour went by without him dragging out your next orgasm. It was fast, it was slow, you were on top, you were looking up at him, you were on all fours, you were bent over the sink in the bathroom. By the end of the day you've learned your lesson: never lie to Gojo again, because he'll never let your body forget it.

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

I am IN LOVE with your writing!  I’m a dedicated reader! 💓💓 thanks for taking the time to do it!

Hear me out. Reader pulls a 24 hour shift in the local clinic on a busy day and we get a protective worried din?

He would also be busy but he would definitely pull reader out and make her take a nap AT LEAST. 😂 anyway, I just thought that would be cute to think about.

I hope you have a wonderful day and keep up the good work! 

[a/n: anybody wanna guess how many times it took me to try and post this b/c tumblr wanted to keep glitching and destroying it?? FUCKING FOUR. lord, im gonna go scream in a pillow. anyways, thanks anon for the great idea! also pls consider this my apology for the cliffhanger that i am so sorry (but not really) for.]

'A FRESH START' DELETED SCENE

Din Djarin x Female!Reader

Warnings: reader overworks herself, mentions of injuries (burns specifically) but not in great detail

Word Count: 1,934

Summary: Everyone needs a break, and Din is hell bent on ensuring you don't skip yours.

#MID 17: TAKE A BREAK, DOC

[so not between chapters, but a scene within one of the time breaks in chapter 17.]

.

"be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but take care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that's you." -unknown

.

Trying to get the emergency clinic established was not easy. You agreed to the job, and Karga had given you free reign. The High Magistrate was essentially allowing you to run the clinic as you saw fit. Which in part was fantastic because it gave you incredible freedom, but it was also your worst nightmare. All your training had taught you was how to handle the medical aspect of an office. The business and organization side was a whole other issue. Especially because the people of Nevarro were not understanding that this was for emergencies only. 

“My ankle hurts.”

“Alright, when did this start? When did you get hurt?”

“I twisted it while jogging three years ago.”

“You⏤ Wait, what?”

In order for this to work the way it needed to, you’d have to focus on actual emergencies only. Alone you would never be able to handle the patient load that would come with servicing an entire city. Plus, you really didn’t want to. The amount of time it would take to even attempt that was insane, and Din needed your help with Grogu.

So, the plan would be to establish that this clinic was emergencies only, emphasize it to everyone who walked in the door, but for today you’d manage all the small, routine problems.

Just for today.

By lunch time, you had already seen 47 patients. None of which were emergent. In fact, the biggest injury was a young man who had dropped a glass plate at home and accidentally cut his hand. He needed four stitches. 

“Aayla?”

“Four more in the waiting room, doctor!” Aayla called out without even having to be asked the question. She was a gift from the Maker today. Already, you had decided to try training her more in depth medically and hire someone else to work the front desk. “You also have a guest.

“What?” You breathed, barely able to catch her words.

Aayla didn’t need to repeat herself because that was the moment Din swept into the room with the same confident strut he naturally seemed to have. At the sight of him, you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as your lips curled up into a smile.

“What is going on?” Din asked as he drifted closer to you. There were still two patients sitting on cots waiting for you to finish with them, but Din commandeered your attention by settling his hand on your lower back and staring down at you. Even through the helmet you could feel his concerned gaze. “Why are you so busy? I thought you were hired for emergencies only.”

“I was, but apparently nobody told all of Nevarro that.”

Din stiffened. “Did Karga⏤”

“No. I don’t think he tricked me into this or that this was on purpose.” You said quickly. “And everyone who comes in, I’m telling them that from now on it’s emergencies only.”

“But today?”

“Today, I am seeing every Nevarro citizen.” You chuckled. “You want a check up, Mando?”

“Ner kar’ta,” Din shook his head, “Have you taken any breaks at all?” You shot him a sheepish smile. “Come. Let’s get lunch.”

“I can’t. I’ll just get further behind.” You mumbled. Din looked like he was ready to argue with you. In fact, his hands even drifted to his hips as his head tilted. You had seen him take on the same stance before lecturing Grogu. You wrapped your hands around his forearm and gave him the most reassuring smile you could muster. “It’s fine. I’m just sorry I’m bailing on you for lunch.” He sighed. “You poor thing, now you’ll have to spend more time with Mayfeld.”

Din huffed and you chuckled. Aayla called out that more people were filling the space, and for a second you thought the Mandalorian Marshal was considering sending everybody home just so you could have a moment for lunch. You squeezed his forearm. 

“Fine.” Din grumbled.

“Also, I know this won’t help my argument or convince you of anything, but,” You scrunched your nose with a small wince, “Do you think you can pick up Grogu today?”

Din seemed taken aback based on his voice alone, “How long do you plan on staying?”

You knew his question was one more focused on the concern of you staying here for too long versus him being upset that you couldn’t get Grogu. When you shot him another sheepish smile he just grumbled under his breath in Mando’a. Din caught you off guard by leaning forward to lightly rest his forehead against yours for a second. 

“This conversation isn’t over.” Din said simply and you just chuckled in response.

He squeezed your hand once before leaving and you were forced to return to the patients you had. Ten minutes passed at the most, you got two patients out with Aayla’s help, when Din’s heavy footfalls returned. You glanced over your shoulder to see he was holding a bag of food. He crossed the space to set the bag in your hands and you peered in to see it was your favorite sandwich from the local shop. Your eyes glanced back up at him with a grin. The warmth of being seen and known settling in your chest.

“Eat.” Din said firmly.

“Thank you.” You replied. “I’ll eat it as soon as⏤”

“No.” He interrupted. A tilt to his head and a challenge in his voice. “I’m not leaving until I watch you take a few bites. At the least.”

You rolled your eyes, in good nature, and handed him the bag so you could wash your hands in the sink off to the side. On your way back to Din, you asked Aayla to bandage one patient’s knee and get imaging of another patient’s hand. Din had already pulled out your sandwich to set on the desk you had brought into the corner. Before you could reach for it, Din pointed to the desk chair. With a chuckle you dropped down into the seat, the first time you were off your feet all morning, and only then did Din push the sandwich toward you. 

“Thanks.” You said after your first bite. More sincere than your last. Din was leaning against the desk beside you. Close enough that your arm could press against his thigh if you moved it over even an inch. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“Apparently, I did.” Din chuckled. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have eaten at all.”

You couldn't argue. Instead, you just shook your head, “Not gonna lie, I always did have a bad habit of getting caught up in my work.”

“Why does that not surprise me?”

“Doctor, can you take a look at this?” Aayla called out.

You quickly took one last, large bite of your sandwich before standing. Din pushed off the desk to tower over you again. He nodded. “I’ll pick up Grogu, but if you’re not home by 5 I’m coming back to drag you home.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” You teased.

Din leaned over to lightly tap his forehead against yours and you chuckled. He reached over to pick up your sandwich and held it up towards you. You raised an eyebrow at him, but he didn’t budge. Rolling your eyes, you leaned over and took another bite. Holding a hand over your mouth, tucking the food into your cheek, you spoke. “Happy?”

“Yes. Be careful. Message me if you need anything.”

You watched him leave with a bemused smile.

Never before had you been so acutely aware of the saying ‘when it rains, it pours’. Today had already been stressful and busy so it would make sense that at 4:25 in the afternoon an actual emergency rolled in. Nothing to test and stretch your skills like having to handle a trauma case after a full day of working. There had been an incident, on the other side of this world deep in the lava plains, where a group of smugglers got a bit too close to a river of lava with their weapons and nearly blew one another sky high. 

The least injured of the three had flown them in. She had some superficial burns all along her left side. Then the other two had third degree burns that required some serious fluid replacement. You didn’t stop working, barely paused to take a breath, until all three were stable and resting comfortably. Only then did you drop down into your desk’s chair and rest your head on your arms with a sigh. 

About twenty minutes later, a pair of hands settled on your shoulders, squeezing in comfort, and you would’ve been startled if you didn’t recognize the creak of Din’s leather with the comforting smell of his flight suit’s detergent and the polish used on his beskar. 

“What time is it?” You groaned.

“8:42.”

“You’re nearly four hours late.”

Din squeezed your shoulders once more before letting a hand settle on the back of your neck. You found the weight of it grounded you. “I got here at 4:50. Saw you were busy with something important. Left then came back.” His thumb caressed your skin, and you pushed your head up to glance at him. Din had the hand not on your neck resting on the desk. “You alright?”

“Just tired.” You mumbled and rubbed your face with one hand. “Grogu?”

“He’s with Peli. Missed you at dinner though.” Din replied. “He acts up when you’re not around.”

“No, no. He’s a perfect angel, always.”

Din snorted at that, and the sound made you chuckle. You glanced over at the cots that held the three smugglers who slept soundly. All their vitals still stable. Din’s hand slipped down to rub your upper back soothingly. “You coming home?”

“I can’t. Not until the emergency shuttle gets here to pick those three up.” You sighed. “They have to be at a facility with a higher level of care than just me.”

“‘Just you’ saved their lives.”

“You know what I mean.” You shrugged. “You should go though.” Din tilted his head. “There’s no telling how long it’ll take for the ship to get here. I already sent Aayla home. I’m just babysitting right now. You should pick up Grogu and head home. Get some sleep.”

Din shook his head as if it were the stupidest thing you had ever said. He gently wrapped his hand around your upper arm and pulled you up from your seat. You let him drag you along to the fourth cot in the room which was currently empty. “You sleep. I’ll babysit.” 

“Din…”

He lightly pushed down on your shoulders until you were seated on the cot. You stared up at him in question, but he just shook his head. “If something changes with their status I’ll wake you.” Din pushed you down a little further so you were laying down. The moment your body hit the relatively soft bed you felt yourself sink into it with exhaustion. Din went to walk, but you grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the cot as well.

“You can babysit while laying down, can’t you?”

“My armor isn’t gonna be much of a pillow.”

“Neither is this cot.”

Din chuckled and dropped down to lay beside you. You rested your head on his chest, the cool metal of the beskar biting into your warm cheek, and just sighed. It hadn’t occurred to you how tired you truly were until now. Din had an arm wrapped around you so he could grasp your shoulder with his hand and use his thumb to trace patterns there.

“Take a break, doc.” Din hummed. “I got you.”

taglist:

@aheadfullofsteverogers @yyiikes @kneelforloki @c-ms1ut @sgt-morgan @luthienaliceisilra @fawn-kitten @missbabyjay @coldlamaspersonspy @dilfsaremyfavourite @jamesbuckybarnes @yorkeylover @teawrites01 @emily-roberts @djarinxore @impala1967666 @shelbyteller @faithrenner @dindjarindude @dankfarrick29 @rh1nestonecowg1rl @garbo-lesbo @anythingforattention @tearfulsolace @onceinamando @catharinaroxastova @uwu-i-purple-you @modiddys-blog @stagerightlauren @mini-bees @xxinvisblexx @adoringanakin @sagegreensensei @spidey-3 @sydney-1209 @thepascalofus @hrtsforpascal @banana-lol @daybleedsintonightfall11 @lil-dragon-draws @guccistardust @ideajpeg @harriedandharassed @leithatnight @elfamosotoga @damnzelsoul @the-anchored-sailor-girl @morks-watermelon @katelynmarieyt @taylorann2013 @chonkercatto @dheet @liadamerondjarin @fallinallinmendes @missdicaprio @jennaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @alphaash99 @djarinsmixtape @pcrushinnerd @closedaddition @thelovelyhann @harrys-sunflower-bakery @mayaaaaah @theway-thisis

[brcnze]

what more could i ask for?

a/n: another from my ao3 that i deleted oops. also sorry it’s christmassy themed and i’m posting this in march?

word count: 5.3k

what more could i ask for?

as the final whistle blew, lucy felt as though she could breathe again. 

these last few months had been tiring, understatement of the year, they’d been exhausting. since the world cup, it had been non stop. she was being pushed so hard emotionally and physically and as she lay back on the grass she couldn’t bring herself to move an inch.

barça were playing at least three games a week, training was as intense as ever and not to mention england had been desperately fighting for their spot at the olympics. for the first time ever lucy was actually somewhat glad they hadn’t qualified. 

she was devastated at the time of course, her last minute goal and two minutes of unimaginable happiness coming crashing down on her had hit her hard. however, upon reflection she realised the time away she’d get over the summer would be good for her. it would be good for her knee that was hanging on by a thread and good for her mind, to finally be able to shut down for more than twenty four hours. 

although the tournament was in the summer and it was only december she had her month off already planned and ready to go. for the first time in her career she felt ready to finally indulge in some much needed rest and relaxation. 

the brunette still enjoyed the sport as much as she always had done, but the demands that playing for the best women’s club in the world and euro winning national team were something she had never experienced before. 

she thrived off of the pressure, but even she was human, not the robot everyone thought she was. she was thirty two and absolutely knackered to put it lightly. 

“come on lucia, up. you are showing your age.” 

lucy knew exactly who it was without even having to open her eyes. the use of her full name gave everything away. 

everyone called her lucy, that’s how she liked it. her close friends called her luce or even bronzey sometimes but she’d never been keen on the people around her calling her lucia, often meeting them with a death glare if they so much as tried it. 

that didn’t stand with ona though. nothing seemed to really, she had a totally different chapter in the lucy bronze rule book. the girl could get away with murder in lucy’s eyes. she liked the way the name sounded coming from ona, the broken english accent and the fact that it was only her who called her it. 

“help me up then.” 

the spaniard reached down and pulled lucy to her feet, smiling up at her in the process. 

ona had moved to barça only a few months ago, but it was like she’d been there forever. the pair had met back at a mutual friends wedding almost a year ago now and had instantly hit it off, the attraction to one another being undeniable. 

“stop eye fucking her.” 

lucy had turned to her side, the smirk of her best friend jordan nobbs being the first thing she saw. 

“she’s hot.” 

“go and talk to her then, what good is sitting here and drooling going to do?” 

she dwelled upon the idea for a minute, questioning whether or not she was ready to open up her heart to someone else yet. as she continued her pondering, ona had met her eyes and as soon as green met brown she was up and on her feet. 

for the first time in her life, lucy had listened to jordan and it was possibly the best thing she had ever done. the conversation between the two defenders had just flowed, both of them giggling as they kept accidentally interrupting one another because they just had so much to say. 

they sat with their thighs pressed together, subconsciously getting closer and closer to one another as the conversation progressed. flirty lucy hadn’t made an appearance in some time, but she was out in full force that night, ona loving every second.

the bride herself, lucy staniforth, had noticed the connection instantly and headed over, giving lucy strict instructions to look after ona once her barça move had been finalised. 

“look after this one? you don’t have to worry about that stani.” 

staniforth looked at ona as a younger sister, and she wanted to be reassured that she would have someone looking out for her and who better than her longest friend. 

“i’ll have the lucy bronze looking after me then, si?” 

ona had asked with a smirk once they were alone again, a smirk that lucy thought was possibly the most attractive thing she’d ever seen. 

“you bet.” 

it was safe to say that lucy had done a brilliant job of looking after her that night and onas contract with united wasn’t even up yet. 

the second she had taken a trip to the toilets and ona had followed her, she had her pinned against the wall with her mouth trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down her neck. she wasn’t entirely sure that was exactly what her best friend had meant by ‘looking after her’ but it didn’t stop her from taking her back to her hotel room and having her scream her name for the rest of the night. 

ever since that day she had been addicted to the spaniard. they stayed in contact during onas last few months at manchester united, neither being the type for a one night stand and having too strong of a connection to leave it at that. they met up whenever possible for date nights and randomly showed up at the others games if they could, instantly becoming each other’s favourite person.

the long distance dating was hard, but it was exciting. it would’ve been so much easier for both parties to just date someone who actually lived in the same country as them, but what fun was that when they had found exactly what they wanted in the other? 

the pair took a mini holiday together pre world cup where lucy had asked ona to be her girlfriend over a romantic dinner, and again after the world cup where they had celebrated ona becoming a world champion. lucy knew it was love when she felt genuinely happy and proud of ona, the ability to put her own feelings aside and relish in the pride she felt for her girlfriend. 

it was all just perfect really. thank you staniforth, lucy thought to herself every single day. 

as they walked back towards the changing rooms, down the tunnel and out of sight of fans ona intertwined their hands. they weren’t exactly keeping their relationship a secret, they had both just agreed on private. 

many people had caught onto the fact that they were an item now. whether that be from the pictures of ona comforting lucy at the world cup, the fan picture of them at a restaurant in menorca or the way they interacted with each other on the pitch. 

at the beginning they’d both decided on keeping it a total secret. lucy had already been through a relationship that fans had gotten wind of and this time around she just wanted something she could keep for herself. however, they both underestimated how hard that would be when they were so infatuated with one another. 

lucy couldn’t stop herself. she had to have at least one part of her body touching onas at all times, she couldn’t prevent the heart eyes or the wide smile that was simply reserved for her and came out in full force whenever she was around. she loved her, and quite frankly she didn’t care who knew it. 

“tired?” the spaniard questioned. 

lucy nodded, squeezing her hand as they turned into the changing rooms. she instantly sat herself down and began untying her boots, letting out a grateful sigh as her feet could finally breathe again.

“like you said, im showing my age. im excited to have over a week off that’s for sure.” 

ona narrowed her eyes, mock offence clouded over her features. 

“even though you’re spending half of it away from me?” 

lucy let out a chuckle, grabbing the younger girls hands and pulling her to sit on her lap, so she was straddling her legs. her hands rested on onas waist as ona wrapped her arms around her neck. 

“you can still come with me. i booked two flight tickets for a reason.” 

ona sighed, she so desperately wanted to take lucy up on the offer but it felt massive. her own family weren’t that big on christmas, but it seemed like a huge occasion for lucy’s family and she’d never met them before. in fact, she’d never actually met any of her previous partners families, never getting serious enough for them to even ask. 

her and lucy were serious though. it was different with lucy, she had never felt this way about anyone before. she pictured her whole future with the englishwoman; marriage, kids, the whole ordeal and the thought of messing it all up consumed her. 

she knew she was a nice girl, but that didn’t stop the overbearing thoughts that lucy’s family wouldn’t like her. maybe they would think lucy could do better? maybe they would compare her to keira? the whole thing terrified her. 

“i don’t want you to feel pressured or anything, the decision is yours. if you want to be at home with your own family i totally understand that.” 

lucy had noticed the change in expression in her girlfriends face, running a comforting hand up and down her back. 

ona couldn’t help but smile at the caring nature lucy never failed to show for her. they would be spending the new year together anyway, they planned on taking a trip to andorra together - just the two of them and their dogs but would be meeting in manchester before as lucy staniforth also known as cupid was having a very small get together a few days before new year’s eve and insisted that the couple that she match made were in attendance. 

however, the thought of spending the entirety of christmas with lucy made her heart skip a beat. she wanted so badly to just say yes, she’d have to meet her parents at some point. she was confident her own family wouldn’t mind, they really weren’t all that big on the festivities and were so obsessed with lucy that anything that involved her was given an instant approval. 

“i would love to.” 

the english woman’s head snapped up at that, a wide smile replacing the neutral expression on her face. 

“seriously?” 

“if you and your family will have me.” 

lucy pulled her into a kiss, hand resting on her cheek as she stroked the array of freckles that lay there. the amount of freckles she had seemed to double every time lucy looked at her and she thought it made her even more beautiful. 

“of course. they’ve been so excited to meet you, they barely ask about me anymore. it’s all ona this, ona that.” 

ona let out a soft chuckle, immediately leaning back in to connect their lips. if there was one thing she loved most in the world, it was making lucy happy. 

“not again! ustedes dos son repugnantes!” 

the two girls detached their lips, ona not moving from her position on lucy’s lap and turned to see that the once empty changing room was now filling up with their team mates. 

“like i haven’t caught you and ingrid in more questionable moments than this, maria.” 

lucy and mapi were like sisters at this point. the constant bickering and inappropriate jokes that went back and forth between them never failed to amuse, yet also piss off the rest of the players. the teasing between them had only gotten worse since ona and lucy had made their relationship common knowledge.

“mentirosa! we always keep it very professional.” 

“shall we talk about the time i found you both in the airport bathroom?” 

lucy smirked, relishing on the deep shade of red that had taken over mapis cheeks. she knew she’d got her with that one as the defender soon made her way over to the showers whilst muttering something incoherent in spanish. 

“i don’t know why she still bothers. i always win.” 

ona shook her head, laughing at the never ending competitiveness of her girlfriend.

the pair headed back to lucy’s apartment, saying quick goodbyes and wishing their teammates a happy christmas before packing the rest of their things into a suitcase. 

the nerves ona was feeling were evident on the way to the airport, the lack of singing from the spaniard giving her away instantly. lucy placed a hand on her thigh, stroking up and down. 

“you okay, love?” 

“im just a little nervous i suppose.” 

ona felt it was best to just be honest. she’d been putting off meeting her girlfriends parents far too long now and knew it was obvious she was having feelings about it. throughout their relationship they had always communicated everything, a huge reason as to why it was going so well. 

“im excited to meet your family and im so excited to spend christmas with you. i’m just nervous that they won’t like me, or i’ll say the wrong thing.” 

lucy’s face instantly softened, pulling in to the airport car park and turning her whole body towards ona. she could tell that meeting her family was something that had been playing on her girlfriends mind. lucy had met onas months ago now and was a frequent guest at family dinners, being welcomed and loved by them instantly. 

“i promise you there’s nothing to be nervous about. in all honestly, they’re all a bunch of weirdos and i’m more nervous that you’ll change your mind about us when you see what a weird group of people i grew up with.” 

ona chuckled at that, adoring the way lucy never failed to make her laugh. she took onas hands in her own, giggling a little too. 

“but honestly babe, please don’t stress. we can book a hotel instead if you like? if you don’t want to stay at the house?” 

the spaniard immediately shook her head. 

“no, absolutely not. i’m just a little shy i suppose but i’m sure it won’t take me long to warm up.” 

lucy tilted her head to the side, the most adoring smile resting on her lips. she completely adored the woman in front of her to no end, her affections growing every second.

“god, you’re so cute.”

she tucked a strand of ona’s newly highlighted hair behind her ear. 

“i won’t leave your side though, and just tell me if you need a breather at any point. i was dead nervous to meet your family, so i do know what it’s like.” 

“you were?” 

that information surprised ona. lucy was so good at putting on a confident front that she never would’ve guessed she felt any kind of nerves that day. 

“mhm. didn’t think they’d think i was good enough for you, or that they’d be offended by how shit my spanish is.” 

“you needn’t have worried cariño, they love you more than me and my brother now - especially my dad. they told me instantly that you were good for me, and also that your spanish is shit.” 

lucy scoffed, a look of false hurt clouding her features.

“im definitely getting better!” 

“si tú lo dices.”

ona was right in the sense that it wouldn’t take her long to warm up. 

almost as soon as the pair had arrived at the family home, she had been pulled into the biggest hug by lucy’s mum. the older woman welcoming her warmly as she was desperate to get to know the woman whom her daughter spoke so fondly of. 

“i am here too you know mother.” 

lucy complained as she watched the embrace take place. ona let out a small laugh, appreciating the warm welcome more than anything, putting her instantly at ease. 

once they’d gotten the greetings and ‘nice to meet you’s’ out of the way the family all sat together in the living room, ona being the star of the show. 

“you really are a beautiful girl, darling. i could tell from the pictures luce showed me of you but in person you’re even prettier.” 

ona had blushed at the compliment from diane, smiling so wide her cheeks hurt. 

“oh thank you. and thank you so much for being so welcoming and not minding me being here.” 

“don’t be silly, you’re family.” 

lucy was so glad to see ona smiling. she’d been a little worried when she saw how nervous she was, concerned that her family would maybe be too much for her but she needn’t have one bit. her mum evidently adored her already and as soon as her niece and nephew had come downstairs they instantly took a liking to her too. 

running straight past auntie lucy, they immediately went to interrogate ona. 

“im really starting to get offended now.” 

lucy admitted, watching her niece insisting ona play barbies with her and shaking her head no, when lucy had offered to play instead. her brother was loving it, teasing lucy endlessly that she’d been replaced as the favourite auntie.

they enjoyed a nice dinner together, lucy’s mums cooking going down a treat with ona who had never tried half of the foods on her plate. games were played, the two young children making it their life’s mission to ensure they were on ona’s team everytime.

when the kids were in bed, ona got a real taste of the type of relationship lucy and her brother shared. she knew that they wound each other up to no end, she’d witnessed enough facetime calls between the pair to know that. however, seeing it first hand was amusing to say the least. 

“so ona, out of all the women in the world. why lucy?” 

jorge asked her with a disgusted look on his face, earning himself a pillow chucked straight at his head from the woman in question. 

“don’t be a dick, jorge.” 

ona chuckled at the twos behaviour, not being able to help joining in on rattling him up a little bit. 

“oh i don’t know, many things. she’s funny, kind, always makes me feel loved and safe and i mean look at her. she’s hot as fuck.”

lucy smirked at her at that, whispering something to her that jorge definitely didn’t want to hear. he looked between them in disbelief, shaking his head. 

“sickening. how much are you paying her to say that?” 

“don’t get jealous. just because my girlfriend actually fancies me and your wife thinks you’re a pig now.” 

jorge rolled his eyes, scoffing. 

“well you’re definitely punching, luce.” 

“im well aware of that. most beautiful girl in the whole of woman’s football she is, well and the whole world.” 

another blush made it’s way across ona’s cheeks as she smiled up at lucy bashfully. 

“you are sweet lucia, but that’s not true.” 

“oh it certainly is true sweetheart, we all think you’re gorgeous and lovely just to top it all off.” 

diane chimed in, making her way into the living room carrying even more plates full of food and drawing out another blush from ona. 

going to bed that night in lucy’s childhood bedroom, both women felt content. lucy was so glad that ona was relaxed and happy and ona was so glad that lucy’s family seemed to like her. 

the older woman couldn’t help but look around the small box room that held all of her earliest memories. she remembered lying in the same bed late at night as a youngster, dreaming of the life she was currently living. never would twelve year old lucy bronze have believed you if you told her she’d be laying there right now; winner of multiple awards, one of the most famous names in women’s football, playing for barcelona and having the most perfect girlfriend by her side.

“i have had such a wonderful day today.” 

ona whispered into lucy’s neck, pulling her from her thoughts as the defender tightened her arms around her waist and placed a kiss on the top of her head. 

“me too, i’m so glad you’re here.” 

“i’m so glad i came.”

“they think you’re amazing, if you couldn’t already tell.” 

ona let out a little giggle, thinking back to the amount of compliments she had received throughout the day. she looked up at lucy, taking her head out of her neck and pouting her lips, tapping them expectantly. 

lucy happily obliged, meeting her in the middle for a soft kiss. 

the kiss quickly turned heated, neither woman being able to do anything by halves. lucy’s hand made it’s way up the back of onas shirt, well technically her shirt that ona had stolen, and began tracing patterns pulling her in impossibly closer. 

upon hearing someone get out of bed to go to the bathroom, ona pulled away but only far enough so that she could still smile into lucy’s lips. 

“i love you.” 

“te amo mas bonita.” 

the next few days were spent lazing around and going for light walks with the bronze family. both women were soaking up the rare time off and had even brought siestas all the way back to england, much to the amusement of jorge. christmas day had been nothing short of incredible too. ona didn’t think she could love lucy anymore than she already did, but now having such a special bond with her family too her heart was left feeling like it was going to constantly burst. 

when the time came to leave and head down to manchester before the new year, ona felt emotional to be saying goodbye to everyone. she had had the most amazing time and felt as though she had created a special bond with everyone individually after the five days spent together. 

the spaniard had to really fight to hold the tears in when it came to saying goodbye to lucy’s niece and nephew. the two little ones had created a card for them, hand drawn by them both. there was two stick figures holding hands, one representing lucy and the other ona. a bright yellow sun took residence in the corner, and a football was placed in the air. 

when lucy opened the card, gushing at the incredible drawing, she smiled to herself widely and turned it around so that ona could read their articulately thought words. 

to auntie lucy and auntie oni 

we will miss you soooo much. we loved playing football and princessess together. we love you xxxx

seeing the two young children refer to her as their auntie after only being in their lives a few days made ona feel like she could physically melt. she knew how much the young children meant to lucy and leaving with the feeling that they liked her was all she could have asked for. 

lucy clearly felt the same happiness as as soon as they go into the car she turned beside her, grinning like the cheshire cat. 

“did you have a good time, auntie oni?” 

the drive to manchester was spent sharing more family stories that ona hadn’t yet heard - the spaniard enjoying them even more now she could actually picture the scenarios, and singing along to their favourite songs, much a contrast to the drive to the airport a few days ago. lucy was just happy that ona was happy, taking her eyes off the road a few too many times just to watch her. 

when they arrived at their hotel, ona had barely opened the door before lucy had her pressed up against it. 

“i’ve missed you.” 

“you’ve been with me every day.” 

ona wrapped her arms around lucy’s neck, a deep sigh escaping her lips as the older woman started kissing down her neck. 

“mhm, but not like this.” 

she continued pressing kisses, ona throwing her head back as she found her sweet spot. 

“just wanted you all to myself.” 

ona tangled her fingers in lucy’s hair, pulling her head up from its position in her neck and smashing their lips together. both women were needy, tongues slipping into one another’s mouths and lucy sliding her strong thigh inbetween onas legs, drawing out a shaky whine from her. 

“fuck me, right now.” 

“don’t have to ask me twice, princesa.” 

with that, lucy picked her up, onas legs wrapping around her waist instantly and carried her to the king size bed. the two women found themselves lost in each other for the entire night, making good use of the fact they no longer had lucy’s parents and brother on either side of the wall. 

they woke up the next morning, appreciating the bigger bed the hotel had provided in comparison to lucy’s childhood single bed, yet still practically on top of one another.

mornings with ona were lucy’s favourite time of day, their legs tangled together, arms wrapped around one another and getting to watch the sleepy smile that never left her face. she was truly ethereal, and every time the sun rose she would count her lucky stars that she got to call this girl her’s. 

“you are creepy, watching me like that.” 

lucy smirked, the croaky morning voice of the spaniard giving her familiar butterflies. 

“stop looking so beautiful all the time then.” 

ona smiled, reaching up to play with the baby hairs that had escaped lucy’s night time bun before pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. the footballers then got themselves ready, sharing lazy kisses as they showered and went about their usual morning routine. 

they were meeting staniforth, jordan, demi and their partners at lucy’s house which wasn’t far from the hotel they were staying at. the afternoon was going to be a nice chill vibe, lucy positive the only reason they had been invited was so stani could gloat about being the reason they got together. 

“you know she’s going to be so annoying, right?” 

lucy warned ona in the taxi when they were on their way. the spaniard responded with a fond laugh, crazily excited to see their mutual friend. 

“oh, i know. the whole time we were at united together she teased me about having a crush on you.” 

“i like that you always fancied me.” 

ona rolled her eyes at the smirk that had plastered its way across her girlfriends face. 

“of course you do, it feeds your already huge ego.” 

the two arrived at the house they were both so familiar with, getting pulled into big hugs from everyone the second they arrived. neither woman was kidding when they said staniforth would be annoying, it only taking two glasses of wine until she began gushing about the couple. 

“i just can’t believe that you both are actually together.” 

lucy and ona looked at one another, smiling their signature loved up smile which caused the others in the room to let out a series of ‘aww’s.’ 

“appreciate the love and that but you lot don’t have to coo at us like we’re kids.” 

“but ona had the hots for you for so long im just so happy.” 

“stani!” 

the spaniard nudged her former team mate, a blush creeping up on her cheeks. it was very obvious from the day they met that ona had always been infatuated with lucy and lucy was well aware of that too, ona having admitted it to her after a few too many wines on one of their first dates. however, that didn’t mean she wanted it broadcasted to other people.

“lucy was the same. caught her practically drooling in her glass of champagne at the wedding.” 

apparently it was jordan’s turn to pipe up now, not allowing lucy off the hook that easily. 

“alright we get it, we were both obsessed with each other and it’s all down to you all for getting us together. thank you so much.” 

the sarcasm was dripping off of lucy’s tongue, causing the room to erupt in laughter. she secretly loved it though, loved the fact that her closest friends were so happy for her and that they loved her girlfriend almost as much as she did. when the footballers were all occupied with another conversation, opting to tease jordan now about her lack of love life lucy turned to ona. 

“even more obsessed with you now though.” 

ona smirked at the hushed tone, laying her head on the older woman’s shoulder as they joined in with the grilling of jordan. 

they spent the entirety of the evening laughing non stop. the group of friends drank wine, ate take out and played games, lucy coming out as the winner every time of course. 

“do you ever get bored of winning everything?” 

demi was sat with her arms crossed, shaking her head at lucy’s third victory in uno. 

“nope.” 

“you’re ridiculous, it’s trophy after trophy with you.” 

the group of footballers let out fond laughs at the englishwoman’s constant need to win. it was a part of their friend that they weren’t sure they’d ever fully understand, but a slice of what made her so special. 

the day had been perfect. lucy and ona’s cheeks actually hurt from where they’d been smiling so damn much over the past few days. they were packing up their hotel room, checking and double checking that they had all of their luggage before their flight back to barcelona to pick up the dogs later that night. 

lucy was sat on the edge of the bed, contently watching as ona scooped her hair up into her signature bun.

she couldn’t help but think back to what demi had said earlier about her need to win. she loved winning, that was undeniable but as she observed the girl five feet infront of her and thought back to the past few days they had shared she couldn’t help but think she’d won everything there was to win. 

“i love you so much.” 

the defender made her way over, wrapping her arms around ona’s waist from behind and resting her chin on her shoulder. 

“i love you too amor, but where did that come from?” 

lucy shrugged, turning the girl around in her arms and placing her hands on her waist. ona’s arms automatically coming to drape around her neck. 

“just been thinking about how good this weeks been so far, and how good everything’s been since i met you.” 

“i can’t believe how soft you’ve turned lucia.” 

ona smirked up at her lover. one of her favourite things was seeing how much her girlfriend adored her, she got to see a side to lucy that no one else did and it never failed to make her heart beat that little bit faster. 

“im serious though. i was just thinking about what demi said, about how much i love winning.”

ona nodded, encouraging her to keep going. 

“but i feel like if i’ve won you what more could i ask for? no trophy could ever give me the same feeling that you do.” 

the younger woman’s face softened instantly. some people in lucy’s life had criticised her for always focusing on winning, wishing she’d slow down and appreciate what she had rather than always looking to the next thing. ona had never seen it as a bad trait though, she found the constant motivation inspiring and just another part of lucy to love. 

ona rested her hand on lucy’s cheek, her thumb stroking across the sharp bone structure of the older woman. they both leaned in at the same time, their lips pressing together for a soft kiss, neither woman being able to stop smiling. 

“well maybe the world cup.” 

lucy mumbled into onas lips, the spaniard letting out a huff of a laugh and leaving a gentle smack on her shoulder. 

“way to ruin the moment.”

[katerina-marie]

The Hot Mic Incident (Feel Like Falling in Love)

Sukuna x Reader

A sequel to this and part 2 of a larger (unnamed) series. I do recommend reading part 1 first to be able to understand certain references in this one.

If someone asked you who was most likely to accidentally spill the beans about your new (and still secret) relationship with Sukuna, your answer would have to be your white-haired co-star. But when an unintentional hot mic reveals to the world what wasn't ready to be shared, let's just say it wasn't Gojo Satoru at fault for once.

Notes: A continuation of my Sukuna x Reader celebrity!au inspired by music (though only loosely, so don't look too closely at lyrical meaning). In this case, it's Feel Like Falling in Love by MeloMance. I'm writing this series as inspiration strikes, so these fics may not always be posted according to the series' linear timeline. I will make sure to note when each chapter takes place in relation to the others (this one takes place a couple months after part 2). I will also get around to making a master list of them in chronological reading order as more comes. I hope you enjoy:)

Content: bandmember Sukuna x actor female Reader (referred to as such, but left descriptively vague), no y/n, manager Nanami, bodyguard Toji, actor Gojo, other favorites who have small supporting rolls, all fluff, crack, and humor, innuendos, illusions to sexting, but no actual sexting occurs (sorry), so please read accordingly, out of character and fluffy Sukuna. Please let me know if I miss something!

WC: 4.3k

——————————————————————————————————————————

“Isn’t it a little early in the morning to be sending naughty pictures to your boyfriend? It’s like 7:00 am.” 

You jumped half a foot in the air and clambered to juggle your phone in your hands before it tumbled out and slid four feet across the backstage floor of the talk show studio. 

“You need to be wearing a bell, Satoru,” you hissed over your shoulder at the menace that had appeared behind you so suddenly, “and it was not an inappropriate photo. I was completely dressed.” 

You teetered over in your heels to grab your phone off the floor and prayed that it wasn’t cracked down the middle, lest you make Satoru cough up punitive damages to make up for it. 

“In my experience, being fully clothed is not a prohibiting factor.”

Satoru snickered at the look of disgust on your face and gave you a small shrug, “Who knows, maybe Sukuna’s into th—,”

You threw yourself forward to try and cover his mouth with your hands, but even in heels you still lacked the necessary height to make contact. You settled for pinning him in place with a glare.

“Will you keep quiet please? I swear, if you and your fat mouth reveal this to anyone, I’m going to have Toji leak that photo of you from one of our nights working on that period piece last year!”

You watched with glee as Satoru’s eyes widened in abject horror, and he reached out to grip the tops of your arms and drag you close to his face. A quick peek from your peripheral confirmed that the staff lingering around the studio probably hadn’t been close enough to hear, but they were certainly watching with poorly disguised interest. 

Were you and Satoru contracted into a false relationship in order to help promote the upcoming movie the two of you were co-starring in? No, that only happened in fiction. Was it firmly implied by the producer that some offscreen tension and chemistry during the course of the film would promise to be advantageous to you both? Yes, and you presumed that in the pursuit of a paycheck some simple flirting couldn’t hurt anyone…though that was a year or so ago, and you were now closer to sending Satoru to an early grave than jumping in bed with him like fans and media were hoping for. 

“Suguru swore he made you delete any evidence of that!” 

You stuck your tongue out at him and pulled back against the hold he had on your arms, but he didn’t loosen his grip in the slightest. 

“He did, but didn’t bother to check with Toji. Looks like that weird phobia you two have of him is coming to bite you in the ass now.” 

Satoru released you with a shiver and took a large step back, his eyes roaming the expanse of the studio as if he expected your bodyguard to be summoned out of thin air at the sheer mention of his name. You didn’t blame him, however, because Toji had a habit of doing just that. 

“It’s not a weird phobia,” Satoru muttered, rubbing his throat absentmindedly and pouting down at you, “it’s PTSD.” 

You snorted. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“It was too!” Satoru cried, “He punched me in the throat and nearly sent Suguru through a wall!” 

“You and your idiot manager were trying to break into my house at 2:00am, drunk as skunks I might add! What did you think was going to happen? We barely knew each other then.” 

Satoru looked down at you aghast, stunned that you didn’t sympathize with his emotions. You considered it even more bewildering that he seriously thought that you would pick his side. You were about to let him know such when your phone dinged twice in quick succession, effectively capturing your attention. 

“Look,” you huffed at him, waving your phone in front of his face so he could catch a glimpse of the time (and hopefully ignore who’s name had popped up under it), “we only have like thirty more minutes before we have to get out there and I need some time to decompress, so I’m going back to the dressing room.” You started to turn away before throwing over your shoulder, “Don’t get into any trouble in the meantime.” 

Satoru rolled his eyes at you, and—in that intolerable way of his—couldn’t let you possibly have the last dig at him and jerked his head to the phone in your hand. 

“It’s not me I’m worried about. Have fun sext—,” 

“Goodbye, Satoru!” You made yourself scarce before he could say anything else, eager to find the privacy of your dressing room so you could fawn over your boyfriend in peace. 

By the time you made it into the safety of your dressing room a few minutes later, your heart was pounding—and not just from getting lost in all the maze-like hallways—and you tried to decide if hiding in the attached closet to talk with Sukuna on the phone or sitting on the couch in the open with a lovesick grin on your face would look less suspicious should someone walk in. Neither option promised much. 

Before you could make up your mind, your phone was ringing, so in order to be able to answer the call as quickly as you could, you dove for the couch and tried not to sound completely breathless when you answered with a quiet, “hi, good morning.” 

“Hey,” Sukuna replied back to you, voice equally soft but tinged with a dry hoarseness that usually followed him out of sleep. It made your toes wiggle uncontrollably against the floor. 

“Oh I’m sorry, did I wake you with the picture? That wasn’t my intention. I just wanted to keep you up to date with my day,” you murmured to him. 

“Don’t worry, you didn’t. And besides, even if it did, it’s not a bad way to start my day.” His words made you melt back into the cushions and you kicked your feet in silent giddiness before tucking them underneath you. “You look stunning, by the way.” 

“Thank you,” you giggled, “though getting here to get ready while it was still dark outside was borderline torture. I’d say that it’s an unfair slight against women, but I’m pretty sure Satoru’s hair and skincare routine took just as long.” 

Your boyfriend let out a disgusted scoff at the mention of your costar’s name, “Please tell me that q-tip is behaving himself.” 

“Sukuna!” You chastised, though you couldn’t help the laughter bubbling up in your throat at the comparison, “You can’t call him that…even if it is somewhat accurate.” 

“It’s one hundred percent accurate,” he argued, “but I won’t call him that to his face…probably.” 

You shook your head in exasperated amusement, nibbling on the bottom skin of your lip before continuing on, “He’s behaving for the most part, aside from his two insinuations that our conversations this morning were of a sexual nature.” 

Sukuna was silent on the other end for a moment before replying back in a low voice with something that had you choking on your spit, “Would you like them to be?” 

He could be heard laughing as you nearly coughed your way into a premature death.

“I’m about to go in front of a live audience and on live tv!” You exclaimed.

“That’s not a ‘no’,” Sukuna pointed out hopefully.

“No.” 

He let out a dramatic sigh and you reached over to a nearby coffee table to unscrew a bottle of water and chug half of it down in the hopes it would help cool you off. 

“Speaking of,” he said, sounding just a tad hesitant, “I’ll uh, tune in to the show to watch if that’s okay with you.” 

You heart skipped a silly little beat at the idea that he wanted to watch some cheesy talk show just to get a glimpse of you. 

“I don’t mind,” you told him, “but it’s going to make me a little nervous knowing you’ll be watching as I stumble through this interview.” 

“Don’t be,” he chuckled, though something in his voice sounded just slightly wicked, “now you’ll get an idea of how I feel when I have to perform.” 

The innuendo had whatever sweet reassurance you had poised at the tip of your tongue fly out of your head, and you scrambled to come with a response that could be said back without implying anything further. The swinging open of your door, however, saved you from the task. 

“Hey, Princess,” Toji called as he leaned his torso around the door, “you need to be out there in five.” 

You startled from your spot on the couch, surprised to realize that your leg was bouncing from where it was propped up on your knee and your finger was twirling a piece of your hair.

Love made you stupid. 

“Toji,” you snapped, “have you ever heard of knocking?”

Your bodyguard rolled his eyes, “I did. Twice.”

Heat flooded your cheeks, especially because you could hear Sukuna cackling through the phone, confirming he heard what Toji just said. 

“Oh…I’ll be right there, okay?” You shooed him off with a flick of your fingers and Toji smirked at you as he began closing the door.

“Don’t be late or I’m sending Gojo in to fetch you.” 

The door closed shut before you could get a word in and you leaned back with a heavy sigh before returning your attention to your phone call, “I’ve to go. I’ll call you when the whole thing is over and I’m back home, yeah?” 

“Sounds good to me. I’ll be waiting for you. Good luck, okay?” 

You weren’t sure if it was all in your head, but you swore you heard a hint of disappointment in his voice.

“Thank you. Bye, Sukuna,” 

“Bye, Princess,” he sing-songed, and you couldn’t help but smile as you clicked off the call. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

Twenty minutes later found you and Satoru sitting next to each other on a platform stage surrounded by bright lights, a large live audience sprawled in front of you, and an all too perceptive interviewer who had started the interrogation just a couple minutes prior. You wiggled in your seat, uncomfortable from the various wires and clips that secured your mic to your back under your dress. 

“So,” she began, nailing you with a look that promised nothing good, “you and Satoru were supposed to film an advert on the beach early this last summer, but it ended up being you and the so-called ‘King of Curses.’ Tell me, how did that come about?” 

You hesitated a moment, thankful the question wasn’t anything too invasive, but you were still hoping to avoid talking about Sukuna altogether. Usually Nanami would heavily emphasize what could and couldn’t be spoken of before these appearances, but since he wasn’t here, you assumed it had been left to Geto. In that case, you knew he couldn’t be bothered since predicting whatever was going to come out of Satoru’s mouth during these things was an art not yet mastered.

 “Well,” you started, clasping your hands together so they didn’t shake, “it really just came about out of well-timed convenience and a favor to the director. We didn’t want to waste any of the crew’s time or have to worry about re-aligning schedules, so Sukuna saved the day by offering to help. Plus, ‘The Curses’ new song at the time got to debut in it, so it was a win-win for everyone! Except for maybe Satoru, of course.” 

In an effort to divert attention from your answer, you threw Satoru a faux-friendly smile and urged him with a widening of your eyes to explain his part. 

“Oh, yeah,” he replied, adjusting himself in the seat and setting a convincing pout on his face. “I just happened to get pulled into something personal last minute and was going to be late to the shoot. I’m appreciative that the “King of Curses” was able to step in and save the day.” 

You didn’t miss the obvious sarcasm dripping from Sukuna’s nickname when it came out of Satoru’s mouth, and you had to hide a giggle behind your hand at the thought of your boyfriend cursing at his TV at home. 

“But,” Satoru continued, jolting you into awareness when he turned to you and ran a long finger down the bare skin of your arm, “I’m super bummed I missed our chance to get wet together.” The smirk on his face was downright evil, and you just knew your face was a picture of stunned disbelief. The audience was tittering with amusement.

“You wear me out, Satoru,” you hissed at him, batting his hand away from where it still traced slowly over your skin. 

Satoru laughed and threw his head back against his chair before taking a quick look at the camera and then leaning in towards you until your noses nearly touched, “I’m flattered you’d admit that on live television.” 

Your jaw, and everyone else’s for that matter, fell to the floor and you could only gawk at him. Over the interviewer’s shoulder, you could see Toji backstage laughing his ass off as Geto stood at a respectable distance next to him shaking his head. 

We better get those damned bonuses from the producer.

“Well!” The interviewer laughed a bit nervously, breaking the tension in the room and turning to the main camera in front of you all, “That was surely something. We have to go to a commercial, but we’ll be back with these two in just a couple minutes!”

The outro music sounded over the speakers and you and Satoru were released from your chairs to scurry backstage. In between sending friendly waves to the audience and starting the walk backstage, you flipped the switch on your mic off. 

“I’m going to kill you, Satoru,” you spat under your breath as the two of you left stage.

The idiot had the gall to laugh, and in your frustration you took a couple large steps to get a head of him. And because the universe didn’t hate you enough, you felt the toe of your heel catch on a stray cable on the floor, pitching you off balance. In your flailing, you reached out to grasp at whatever object could possibly break your fall, and in doing so latched on to Satoru’s sleeve, jerking the poor bastard off his feet and onto you as you both tumbled to floor in a heap of tangled limbs. 

Your back hit the ground first, your mic digging painfully into your back with a suspicious crack of plastic followed by Satoru landing on your front, pushing all the air from your lungs with a painful “oomph.” 

You stared at the ceiling of the studio, wondering how quickly things would go if one of the giant studio lights fell from above and crushed you under it. You were never going to live this down, especially since it happened still in view of the cameras and the audience if the raucous laughter was anything to go by.

“You know, I never imagined I would actually get you under me,” Satoru mused, staring down at you for a second before lifting his giant self off and then pulling you up to follow. He held a hand against your lower back as the two of you made it to the cover of backstage. 

“Honestly,” you admitted, still a little dazed, “I never would have thought so either.”

Staff fluttered around you a minute later, offering water, smoothing your hair out, and ensuring neither of you were hurt…at least not physically. Your pride was a whole other matter. 

“Oh no,” you groaned, catching Satoru’s attention once everyone had cleared out around you, “he was watching. He just saw me eat it on live television.” 

Your co-star cocked a confused eyebrow at you, “You mean Sukuna was watching?”

“Oh please,” you muttered, “like you didn’t guess. And yes, Sukuna was watching, and now I’m not going to be able to look him in the eye this evening.” 

There was a general increased noise coming from the front of the studio, but you were too preoccupied with your own embarrassment to think much of it. 

“And why is that?” Satoru asked. 

You threw your hands up purely because you didn’t know what else to do with them, “I don’t really know exactly, but there is still something supremely humiliating about doing something embarrassing like that in front of my new boyfriend. He makes me nervous enough as is.” 

There was a sudden outbreak of hollers and clapping from out front, and you swung your head around to look and see if anyone had a clue as to what was going on. It took you a minute before you could see Toji running at you with a wild look on his face. 

“Toji, what the hell—?” You didn’t get to finish your question before he was spinning you around by the shoulders, yanking down the zipper of your dress, and ripping the mic from your back. You shrieked in disbelief as you whirled back around to figure out what in the world he had been thinking. 

“Toji!”

“Your mic has been on this whole time,” he growled, showing you the blinking green light on the cracked plastic box. You swore you had turned it off, but seeing as how it took the brunt of the impact when you fell on it earlier, you supposed it wasn’t unlikely that it had turned back on. 

With sudden cold rushing through your body and a sick ball of dread settling into your gut, you looked between Satoru’s dumbfounded expression and Toji’s face of pure exhaustion and immediately decided that if the ground wasn’t going to swallow you up whole, you were going home.

“Get me out of here!”

——————————————————————————————————————————

After finally making it to some undisclosed back alley across from the talk show studio, you were assisted out from your crouch in a trash bin by studio security and ushered to a small nearby out-cove to wait for your bodyguard. 

And you just wanted to be famous soooo bad. Glamorous life, my ass.

As luck would have it, you were made aware today of just how famous you, and especially Sukuna, were. For all the grief you gave Satoru about not accidentally spilling the beans about your newly minted—and still secret—relationship with Sukuna, you were the one that had the unintended pleasure of doing the grand reveal. So now the world was free to stir whatever frenzy they saw fit, from the intensely devoted fangirls of Sukuna’s band, to the entire acting community, and the worst of all…your mother. You suspected you were a couple minutes away from an angry phone call demanding an explanation as to why she had to find out from the internet that you were dating a boy with pink hair and face tattoos and how much longer it would be until she had grandchildren. 

All of this chaos and Nanami just happened to be in a whole other country. 

You suddenly regretted sending him on that vacation.

A sharp squeal of tires caught your attention and you looked up to see a shiny sports car peal around the corner and come to a rumbling stop a couple feet in front of you. Before you could even begin to guess who it could be, the head of your bodyguard appeared as the tinted black window of the passenger side door rolled down.

“Get in the car,” Toji hissed, eyes darting to and fro. 

You wasted no time and nearly dove through the open window in your haste to escape broad daylight. You had just finished buckling your seatbelt in the back when Toji mashed the gas pedal and the car leapt forward.

“Christ, Toji!” You gasped, clasping the headrest of the seat you were just flung into, “Whose car is this? It’s certainly not yours.”

He snorted. “Yeah, cause you don’t pay me enough.”

“Rude,” you muttered back to him, “and not true.” 

You tried to squint out the front windshield to determine where you might be, but brick buildings towered on either side of you still, and you assumed Toji was taking some alternative route home. “Seriously though, whose car is this? It’s not one of mine.” 

“Does it matter?”

You rolled your eyes at his bored tone, “Yes, it does. Toji, I’m not your wife, but—”

“Thank God.” He sounded entirely too relieved about that.

“Still rude!” You yelped, but brushed aside the sting of offense to figure out whose leather seats your dress was currently dropping glitter all over. “I’m not your wife, so I don’t particularly care to know what unscrupulous activities you get up to when I’m not keeping you busy—,”

“None,” he deadpanned, shooting you a glare through the rear view mirror.

“—which I’m pretty sure I had you sign a non-compete, but that’s besides the point. I really need you to tell me where you got this car. In case you aren’t aware, my name is going to be plastered on every social media post, blog page, and headline in the next 24 hours and I’d rather that not include my mugshot with “accomplice to grand theft auto” under it. So tell me who this car belongs to right now or I’m jumping out.”

Toji had the audacity to chuckle at you before reaching back to pat your knee.

“Relax a bit. You know I wouldn’t ever put you in harm’s way on purpose. This is Gojo’s car. Ours was being swarmed by the media out front after your little slip up, so I threatened Geto for the idiot’s keys cause I knew it was out back and the quickest way I could get to our little rendezvous point.” 

“Oh,” was all you managed to get out. Letting your racing mind settle down a bit, you snuggled deeper into the plush leather seats and kicked your feet up onto the center console. You got two seconds of peace before Toji opened his mouth again.

“I’m going to have to call Nanami.” 

“No!” You gasped, springing upright again and feeling a warm sting creep to your eyes as your throat began to tense up. “He’s on vacation! I promised we wouldn’t bother him unless one of us was dying. I’d never forgive myself if he had to come home to clean up my sloppy love life!” 

Toji shook his head and shot you a sad smile over his shoulder as he reached for his phone sitting in the front cup holder.

“We may not really have an option, Sweetheart. Not only is Uraume going to be a huge pain to deal with since this could affect Sukuna’s band, but you’ve also got contracts and appearances promised that may get shaken by the fact it’s been revealed to the world that you've been secretly dating the music industry’s favorite ‘hate to love’ rockstar. We can’t fix this without Nanami.” 

The panic that had been brewing in your stomach this whole time was starting to make your head spin up, so you blamed it on that when you lurched out of your seat and nearly over Toji’s shoulder to snatch the phone out of his hand before he could hit ‘dial’ on Nanami’s contact. 

Your bodyguard swore when you knocked him in the face with your elbow in your clamber and his hand gave a vicious jerk of the wheel that had horns blaring from either side of your car as Toji swerved to correct it. You were thrown back into the seat you had just previously been in and you waited with heaving breaths as the car jolted sideways once more before continuing on straight. The fact you barely missed crashing was a testament to Toji’s reflexes.

“Don’t you ever do stupid shit like that again, you hear me?!” You’d never heard Toji raise his voice at you and it did nothing to help quell the tears about to start pouring from your eyes, “I know you’re stressed and something big has just happened to you, I get it, but that’s no excuse to do something dumb! You just about gave me a heart attack,” he finished, his voice still at a higher volume than normal, but it was softened by the edge of panicked concern and the worried glances he was giving you. 

That was enough to push you over the edge.

“I-I’m sorry, Toji,” you sobbed, upset at yourself for messing up again, “I wasn’t thinking, and I don’t want Nanami to feel like he has to babysit me for the rest of his life, or you to think I’m an airhead or something. I also really like Sukuna and I don’t want him to hate me because of what I did!” 

You let your head fall into your hands and hiccuped through another shuddering cry as you struggled to get ahold of the overwhelming-ness of it all. You felt Toji’s hand on your knee again. 

“Hey, hey, take deep breaths for me. No one’s thinking that, I promise you. And I’m sorry for yelling at you like that. It was wrong. It’s no excuse, but that scared the crap out of me and I thought we for sure were getting into an accident,” he admitted. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.” 

You nodded through your tears, unable to respond to him in any way that was legible. 

“Look, we’re almost home. Try and deep breathe for me. Once we get there I’ll help you get comfortable and we’ll figure this out together, okay?” 

As was frequent with Toji, you valued his ability to keep you calm when you got into the worst of yourself and you were grateful for his steady confidence. You reached out and clasped the hand he still had stretched back on your knee to give it a squeeze, hoping it could convey all the thanks you had for him. The two of you kept driving in comfortable silence until you felt the car slow and saw a flash of a familiar gate out the front windshield.

“Hey,” Toji started, his voice suspiciously light, “you think Gojo would realize if we never returned his car?” 

——————————————————————————————————————————

Thank you for reading! I've got ideas for parts 3 and 4 already, so I'm hoping to work on those in the next coming days.

I'll also be posting this series on AO3 under Katerina_Mar if you would prefer to read there:)

[turtletaubwrites]

I've got the bad brains sometimes, and I hope you don't mind. Please scroll by if you don't want to see a personal/mental health update/vent.

Medical leave is over, and I've noticed that with stress ramping up, my OCD symptoms are also flaring.

I had pretty much stopped using any form social media for the past few years because of OCD. I feel an intense pressure to make sure that every single thing I put out into the world is perfect, and won't hurt or offend anyone, to the point where I will ruminate and fixate over a single exclamation point in a text message for hours/days (and often just give up and decide to never interact again), etc.

I realized lately that since I started writing 4 months ago, I've been super afraid to read fics from my wonderful fellow writers if it involves characters I'm currently writing about because I'm terrified of accidentally stealing ideas. But now I'm feeling guilty that I haven't been as supportive and interactive as I should or want to be, and I don't know how to balance those conflicting feelings without seeming disingenuous. Plus, I'm still so terrified of stealing ideas, I'm not sure how to cope with that one yet.

I've also been feeling guilty because I've gained so many followers so quickly, and I know that it's only because I was on medical leave and hyperfixated on this, and wrote so many things so fast.

I'm trying to work through it, but unfortunately my ADHD diagnosis has prevented me from making a lot of progress since I had to drop my exposure response prevention therapy because I couldn't remember to do the things.

Not to mention the fact that the only reason I was able to start writing four months ago was because I had my first bipolar episode since being diagnosed and medicated for 3 years. The imposter syndrome monster has been growing stronger.

I'm sorry for the vent. I just really love it here. And I'm afraid with my symptoms acting up, I might get too freaked out to be seen by the world.

I'm afraid I'll get even more scared than I already am to try to make friends. I'm afraid I will question everything I write until I can't post a single thing. I'm afraid I'll disappear from here just like I have from so many other lovely places because of the weight that my brain puts on every action, every word, and every inaction, every single thing that I do that could be perceived by others.

Being here, writing, and sharing has meant so much to me, and it saved me during medical leave. Interacting with people here has been wonderful, and I wish I was comfortable enough to reach out more.

Thank you for reading this. I'm just fighting the OCD real bad right now, and I really don't want it to stop me from writing and being here with all of you.

(Posting this and not deleting it will be good ocd work. Just gotta not drive myself insane over it.)

(Come on Lynna, you've read and edited this too many times already. Just post it.)

[lildevyl]

Hey, Guys, Gals, Demons, Ghouls and Multi-Fandom Fiends!

This isn't a theory as a matter-of-fact it's going to be long but I need to get this out there. So, I have been on this decision for the past week. And here it is. So, we all know what's been going on with the whole William "Wilbur Soot" Gold situation that's been all over YouTube, Twitter, and just about any other Social Media Platform out there. I'm 100% behind Shelby/Shubble. I think she was very brave in coming out against what she experienced so, please go show her some support.

With that said, I know many people on here have either made the decision to either,

A) Orphaned or Delete their FanFics that have c!Wilbur Soot in them. If have decided to do that, your decision is valid and I fully respect your decision.

B) Have decided to stop writing anything with c!Wilbur Soot in them. If you have decided to do that, your decision is valid and I fully respect your decision.

C) Have decided to continue to write c!Wilbur Soot because it was never about the Content Creators, but the Characters that we, the fans, have created ourselves. If you have decided to do that, your decision is valid and I fully respect your decision.

So, with that said, I'm sure many people have been wondering about what I'm going to do. Here's my decision on this.

What I'm going to do:

I'm going to continue to write. Tommy Innit's Secret Clinic is still going to be written. As selfish as this is going to sound, it was never about the Content Creator William "Wilbur Soot" Gold who owns the YouTube/Twitch Channel. But it was always, always, always, about the character he played. I love c!Wilbur Soot from the Earth SMP, Dream SMP, and Origins SMP. I even love the character he plays in Sorry Boys. And that's the Character I will be writing!

I know when I first joined the DSMP, it was already starting to go downhill. By that time, Covid was over, and the "Over Night Success" of the DSMP was over for a lot of fans. To the point, if you were still a fan of the DSMP during the Prison Arc and beyond then you were in the "So 5 Minutes Ago"/Cringe Territory. I also know that serval people have stopped writing, and got out of the DSMP/MCYT Community when Technoblade passed away. I can't blame them since many fans started watching the DSMP b/c of Techno and why bother watching something if the reason you even started is no longer there. I fully respect everyone's decision on that. And I know now that so many people will be leaving b/c of this being the "Last Nail in the Coffin" for a lot of people. Again I fully respect your decision if you decide to never write c!Wilbur Soot or just straight leave the Fandom entirely.

But I'm not. I'm not leaving. c!Wilbur Soot belongs to us fans and yes, this is 100% selfish of me, but I'll be damned if I let someone take away something that I find so much joy in doing! I've been writing FanFicion for the last 30 years and have been posting for the last 20 years.

I've been in many different fandoms and yes, many of them have had pretty toxic gatekeeping fans. But for once with the DSMP, I actually felt well safe for my writing. I didn't have to worry about if I was writing the Character right or not.

So, with that said, Tommy Innit's Secret Clinic is still underway! I have a few more chapters already written but it's going to be a major story and for once, I'm fucking motivated to finish this! For once, I'm not four to five chapters in and can't seem to figure out what to write b/c I'm so stuck on what others kept telling me how to write certain characters. But with this, no one's doing that. I want to write to these Characters how I want to write them!

I am NOT supporting the Content Creator! This has always been about the Characters. As far as I'm concerned, William "Wilbur Soot" Gold can go step on a pile of Legos for all I care!

However, with Tommy Innit's Secret Clinic, it's going to be until Summer that I will be able to fully start to update again. Right now, I think I'm just going to concentrate on School since my class started a month ago. And I might be focusing on other Writing/Art Projects until then.

So, when Summer hits, expect to see updates for Tommy Innit's Secret Clinic! Until then, Guys, Gals, Demons, Ghouls and Multi-Fandom Fiends! I'll see you later! HAPPY CREATING!

[nuri148]

Clarity deleted scenes!

No one: Absolutely no one: Me: Should I post some deleted scenes from Clarity?

The answer, of course, is I probably shouldn't, but I fancied to, and since my delulu fellow rm spawnlings enable me, here it is. It's hem, you honour, they made me do it 🥸. (Small text is non-deleted parts, for context )

Deleted scene(s) from Chapter 8

--1--

Mikasa looked at herself in the mirror, not really listening to Gabi raving about how smashing she looked. (...) “Isn’t it too … revealing?” she said, looking at the way the neck almost showed her cleavage.

“No! I wish I could wear a dress like that,” Gabi said. “But I don’t have what it takes,” she added, cupping her hands in front of her small breasts. (...)

“Well, that’s the thing, I don’t want (...) anyone to think I’m a minx.” And by ‘anyone’ she meant one person.

“You’re not dressed like a minx, you just think that because you never wear pretty clothes.” 

Mikasa looked vexed. “I do wear pretty clothes!” Gabi sighed. 

“Mikasa, you’re my friend and I love you, but you have two kinds of clothes: those boring two-pieces you used to wear for Armin’s diplomatic meetings, and peasant robes from when the walls were up that look like you're hiding under a burlap sack.” 

“Gabi!” Mikasa was clearly mortified now. 

“I’m sorry, this is probably not the best time to say it, but it’s true.” She looked sheepish. 

“What about the white blouse, the one with the ruffles that Lena sent me for my birthday? That’s pretty.” 

“Indeed. A gift.” 

“And the taupe dress? I bought that one myself.”  

Gabi snorted. “Because I practically forced you to.” Mikasa sat on the bed, dejected, and toyed with the skirt of her gown. 

--2-- 

Happy to find out the four of them had been assigned to the same table, they took their seats, making small talk as the hall slowly filled with guests.

“They really nailed it this year,” Levi commented, feeling one of the pale green napkins. “Two years ago they decked all the tables crimson, it looked like a fucking cabaret.” 

“It’s so beautiful,” Lucy sighed from time to time, her gaze wandering through the hall.  

Mikasa leaned in towards Levi. “Do you know who’s here? Hitch.” 

“Don’t they serve wine here?” Gabi moaned. 

--3-- 

Once the speech finished, the banquet started with the soup course, a cream of potato with duck egg yolk and fresh truffle (...).

[Lucy] was trying to spoon the cream around the yolk.  

“You’re supposed to stir it in,” Mikasa said.  

“But it’s raw,” Lucy whispered. 

“You’re supposed to stir it in right away,” Levi clarified, “so that the heat of the soup makes the yolk safe to eat. 

--4-- 

Levi shot a death glare somewhere behind the girls’ back.

“Did you just scare away a potential dance partner?” Gabi called him out.

“No,” he lied, reaching for the wine, and tch’d at the realisation that the bottle was empty.

“He was about your age, probably some noble’s son,” Mikasa said, casually resting her chin on her hand as she people-watched. 

“Oi!” 

“Levi, it’s a ball. They’ve the right to dance with whomever they please.” 

“You don’t know their real intentions.” 

“I’m pretty sure they intend to dance.” 

“I get it that you hate this,” Lucy said, sternly, “but some of us do want to make the most of the evening.” 

Levi just sulked. 

-----

Why did I cut them?

For #1, I felt it was going on a tangent and distracting from the main plot. In this universe I hc that since Mikasa didn't have someone growing up that that instilled in her a sense of fashion (lost parents too young and then it was khakis forevermore) so she really puts comfort before aesthetics and doesn't see the point in spending in clothes. But this isn't a Mikasa makeover story, this is a rm slowburn and we know Levi'd think her beautiful even when she's wearing old rags.

The other 3 were more to cut down the wc as it was already too high; there may have been transcition issues too (I don't remember after so long). E.g. for #2, there was also a bit of too much stuff being thrown around (sorting it out: more wc). For #4 I also didn't want it to look like Lucy was expecting to meet someone at the ball, and Levi's gatekeeping seemed a tad too much.

[anglophiletraveler]

In My Life

Chapter 27

“Getting to Know You”

I’m so sorry that it’s taken so long for this chapter to post.  I had that mishap with accidentally deleting half of the chapter, so that was frustrating.  And of course, it was a chapter that was somewhat easier to write than normal, and trying to get that back was harder than I thought.  Going back and forth because of the feeling that I had already written something was very frustrating, and of course I didn’t want to repeat myself.  So in the interest of getting this out, I haven’t attached a song for the title.  Also, just to warn you, the rating on this chapter has gone up to an “E” because of the love scene towards the end.  I hope nobody gets offended.  Thanks again to my Italian beta, Karen Brockius.  You totally rock!

*************************

“Hello sister,” the man said.

“Hello Luke,” Demelza said.

There was an awkwardness in the room between the three of them.  Finally Ross stepped forward to shake hands with the gentleman, “Ross Poldark, I’m your sister’s boyfriend.”

Demelza shook her head, “Judas, I’m sorry.  Ross, this is my brother Luke.  Luke, this is my boyfriend, Ross.”

Luke has a small smile, “Hiya, nice to meet you.  Sorry about earlier sister, I didn’t mean to scare you at the buffet line.”

“Right.  I felt like I had seen a ghost for a minute.  Thank you for meeting me.  Do you want to sit down? I’m sure Caroline’s uncle won’t mind.”  She motioned for them to sit on one of the sofas.

Luke sat down on one sofa while Demelza and Ross sat on the other, “It’s a fancy room.  But, I guess it’s a fancy room for a fancy house.”

“Yes it is,” said Demelza.  

“You look real pretty Dem.  Real pretty.” Luke said.

“Thanks.  You look good yourself.”  

Ross could see that this conversation was going nowhere fast.  He cleared his throat, “So Luke, have you been working for the caterer long?”

“ ‘bout three years now.  I mainly work at his restaurant in the kitchen cooking.  Maybe you’ve heard of the restaurant, it’s called The Purple Onion, it’s in Truro,” Luke said.

“Um no, I’m afraid I haven’t heard of it, but I don’t get back this way very often.  We live in London,” Ross said.

“Oh do ya now?  I wondered what e’re happened to ya.  I avn’t really kept in touch with the family much lately,” Luke started to explain.

Demelza finally spoke up, “Luke do ya keep in touch with da?”

“Wha? Christ no!  I live in Truro now.  I moved there ‘bout four years ago and avn’t looked back.  Evry once in a while I run into him in the shop and then he asks me for money, but there’s no way in hell that I would ever give that man money.  I work hard for me money and the last thing I’m gonna do is give it to him just to drink it away.” Luke’s voice got louder as he spoke about their father.  

“Okay, okay, I didn’t mean to upset you.  I just needed to know, because I really don’t wanna run into him this weekend while we’re down here visiting Ross’s parents.   I don’t want him knowing where I live or work or anything about me.  I don’t want him in my life at all.”  Demelza was starting to breathe harder and it didn’t go unnoticed by Ross.  He started to rub her back hoping to get her to calm down.  

“Look sister, you don’a have ta worry about him hearin anythin from me.  I have a good life now, I love what I do cooking at the restaurant and me boss is checking out culinary schools for me.  Maybe someday hopefully I can go to cookin school.  Eh that would be grand wouldn’t it?  Imagine that!  Me a chef!” Luke said.

Demelza smiled at the excitement in her brother, “Oh Luke, that sounds wonderful!  I hope it works out for ya.  I’m that glad for ya.  Truly I am.”

Luke took a quick look around and got up to sit in the chair next to Demezla.  He dropped his voice low so that nobody outside of the doors could hear him.  “Sister, have, have ya still any scars from the beatins?”

Demelza looked down at her hands, “Yes.  I have some on me back tha ne’vr went ‘way.”  Ross took one of Demelza’s hands in his.

“Aye, I still do too sister.”

Demelza looked up at Luke puzzled, “You? No, no that can’t be Luke.  I thought that I was the only one who got the beatings?  To save the rest of ya from gettin ‘em?!”

“Well, after ye left fer university, I guess the old man decided it was my turn.  He skipped o’er preacher Sam and let me have it.  I don’t remember if the others got whooped.  Maybe he jest didn’t like red hair?”  Luke could see how much this upset his sister.  “It’s okay sister, we’re out of that hell hole now.”

Demelza had fresh tears on her cheeks now.  “Oh Luke, I am so sorry, I didn’t know.  Why don’t you give me your number and maybe we can keep in touch, yeah?” Demelza handed Luke her phone to put his number in it for her.  Ross was stunned listening and watching the siblings talk about their beatings.  It was something that he had a hard time comprehending.

“Tha would be nice Dem, really nice.  Hey ya never told me what kind of job you have?” Luke asked.

“Your sister is a brilliant cellist for the BBC Orchestra in London,” Ross said with pride.

“Wha!  No way!  Demelza, that’s brilliant!  Glory be!  Maybe someday I can make it up there to watch ya!  I’ve never been to London, but I reckon I could make it up there to see my sister play her cello!  You always were good on that thing!” 

“Oh gosh, thank you Luke.  I’d love for ya to come up and visit us someday.  We have an extra room you could stay in.   That will be somethin to look forward to, yeah!”  Demelza was relieved by Luke’s news about his life and that he was trying to make something out of his life, and that he wasn’t in contact with their father.

Just then the door to the study opened and Luke’s boss came in, “Luke, we need help loading up the vans.”

Luke stood up, “Right, I’ll be right there boss.  Well, I better get going.  It was grand to see you again sister.  Nice to meet you Ross.”

“It was a pleasure meeting you as well Luke.” Luke and Demelza gave each other a hug before he left.  Ross and Demelza watched as he went out the door.  Ross let out a big sigh and looked at Demelza, “Do you want to go back to the party, or would you just like to go home, love.”   

“I’d like to leave, but we need to say goodbye to Dwight and Caroline before we go.  Did you need to say something to your cousins before we go?” Demelza asked.

“Cousins?” Ross had completely forgotten that his cousin and his wife were at the party.  “Oh bloody hell no, I don’t need to see them again for another decade.”

*******************

Ross and Demelza found Dwight and Caroline and said their goodbyes.  It was only 10:30 when they left but it had seemed later than that with everything that had gone on at the party.  They were on their way back to Nampara under a clear sky filled with stars. 

“Ross, I’m so sorry to make you leave the party early.”

“No need to apologise.  I made small talk with the partners from the firm and danced with you a couple of times.  That’s all I needed to do.  I’m glad to finally be alone with you, love,” Ross said.

“Ross, I was wondering, is there someplace that we could go around here, where we could be alone?” Demelza asked.

“Let me think.  I’m sure that there’s a bar open somewhere in the area.  But that’s not what you had in mind is it.”

“No, not really.”

Ross could tell something was bothering her.  He was sure that running into her brother had really rattled her.  They were used to their privacy at the London flat, but things wouldn’t be that private back at Nampara, especially if his Mama was still up.  She would want to know the details of the party and who was there and who wore what.

“You know, mama and papa might not even be up by the time we get home.  We can sneak a pot of tea and some biscuits up to our bedroom.  Maybe even a bottle of champagne,” said Ross.  He reached over and held her hand.

“Yeah maybe.  It is getting late, maybe your parents don’t stay up late anymore.  Oh Ross!  We didn’t get a chance to talk with Dwight about your mother’s condition.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure we can make time this weekend to go out for lunch or something.  Tonight probably wasn’t the right time to talk about it anyway.  Hey, did I tell you how beautiful you looked tonight?” Ross was trying to change the subject.

Demelza smiled, “Yes Ross, you did.  And you were definitely the most handsome man at the party.”

“Well, if I was the most handsome man at the party, and you were the most beautiful woman at the party… do you know what that makes us?”  Ross had a huge smile on his face.

“No Ross, what does that make us?” Demelza was bracing herself for Ross’s answer.

“That makes us Ken and Barbie!” Ross was laughing at cracking himself up. Demelza loved it when he laughed like this, his eyes light up and twinkle, his mouth gets wide and his whole face lights up with his laughing.  

“Ross, that’s terrible!!  I wouldn’t want to be like Barbie with her perfect smile, her perfect hair and her tiny waist.  Although I wouldn’t mind having her penthouse or her camper!!” Demelza joked.  

“Oh, and don’t forget about her corvette!  You’re going to need the Barbie corvette for when you get your driver’s licence!” Ross was egging her on now.

“You twat!” Demelza smacked him on his arm, “I am not getting my driver’s licence!”

“We’ll see, we’ll see.  Don’t forget you promised me that you would have another driving licence tomorrow.”

“What?  I did no such thing Ross Poldark!” Demelza was getting riled up now.

“Oh yes you did.  I remember you distinctly agreeing to another lesson tomorrow when we got back from getting the champagne.”  The smile never left Ross’s face.

“You liar!  I never said no such thing Ross Poldark and you know it!”

Ross pulled into a parking spot at Nampara, “Most of the lights are off, Dem.  That’s a good sign.  The elders may all be tucked away!”  Ross leaned over to kiss Demelza.  He made sure that it was a deliberate and long kiss. When the kiss ended they were both breathing heavier.  Demelza noticed that the windows were a little steamed up.  She giggled, “Ross, we steamed  up the windows!”  Ross joined her giggles, “How about steaming up the shower door with me?”  Ross was kissing and nuzzling her neck.  He knew this would get to her.  “Mmmm I do want to get out of these clothes and take a shower, and put on my sweats before I climb into bed.”  “Your sweats?  What do you mean by that?” Ross wondered.  “Did ya forget I have my period?”  Ross sighed, “C’mon love, let’s get you in those sweats.” Ross kissed her hand and then opened his car door and walked around to open Demelza’s door.  Demelza stood up and put her hand on Ross’s cheek and kissed him.  “I am sorry Ross.”  “Nothing to be sorry about, love.  It’s not your fault.  It’s just life.  C’mon love, I’ll give you a back rub.  I think we’re both beat anyway.”  He put his hand in hers and led her into the house. 

He opened the door quietly trying not to wake anyone up.  He looked around and saw that the coast was clear, no parents and no Jud and Prudie.  The fireplace had been banked and there were just a couple of lights left on to lead the way.  They quietly walked into the kitchen to pick up supplies to take upstairs.  “Are you hungry Demelza?”  “Aye, I’m starvin.”  Ross chuckled, “Of course you are babe.”  Demelza put her hand on her hip and gave him a sour look.  “Sorry Dem, I can’t help it!  You’re always hungry, I swear you have a hollow leg!  Let’s check the fridge and see what we can find to take upstairs with us.  Do you want to put on the kettle and take a pot upstairs with us?” Ross asked.   “Sure, I’ll get that started.  There’s still some biscuits in the cookie jar.  Is there anything in the fridge?  Something to make sandwiches out of maybe?”  Demelza’s stomach growled and they both laughed.  “There looks to be some ham, some cheese, mustard, pickles, some roast beef.  We could make some sandwiches out of that.  There should be some bread over in the bread box,” Ross started pulling everything out on the counter.  

Demelza found the bread, “Oh Ross! I love this kind of bread!  It smells so good!  Here, smell it!”  Demelza shoved the loaf of brown rye bread under Ross’s nose.  “Yeah, it smells fine.  Since when are you into rye bread?”  

“Mmmm I don’t know. Probably uni.  It’s a treat.  It’s kind of expensive, so I don’t get to have it very often,” Demelza said. 

Ross stopped where he was standing, eyebrows furrowed looking at Demelza, and he held both of her hands in his and looked in her endless blue eyes.  “Demelza, love, you don’t have to  skimp on bread.  If you want rye bread at home, then buy it.  If you want 10 different types of cheeses, then buy it.  We can afford it, and we’re not going to go broke buying food.”  He saw that her eyes were shiny, and the look on her face was almost one of fear.  “I promise you. Okay?  We’re fine financially.  We’re not struggling.”  He pulled her into him for an embrace.  He gently kissed her forehead.  “Why don’t you take this bottle of champagne and two glasses upstairs and get in the shower, and I’ll make us some sandwiches and bring them up, yeah?”  Demelza quietly shook her head yes and took the champagne and glasses upstairs.  

Ross watched her go and then sighed.  He shook his head and started making sandwiches.  He hadn’t realised that Demelza had been holding off buying certain groceries because of cost.  When they first started living together Demelza had tried to insist that they split the cost of groceries and utilities 50/50 but he tried to explain to her that it wasn’t necessary.  Besides, he knew that her salary from the orchestra really wasn’t that much.  He had finally convinced her that he would keep on paying for the utilities because he was already paying for those, but they could split the groceries if she wanted.  They still had their own bank accounts, but Ross thought it would be easier if they opened a joint account for the groceries and any other expenses, and then have two cards to use for groceries.  He hadn’t paid close attention to the balance and the transactions.  It just was never something that he was worried about because he knew his share went in automatically, but it made him think that maybe he should check the online statements to see if there were any issues that he should know about.  But now wasn’t the time, so he made the sandwiches to take upstairs.

**********************

Ross opened the bedroom door carrying the tray and shut the door with his foot.   He heard the shower still running and thought about joining Demelza, but then decided against it in case she wanted some privacy.  He peeled off his tux from his sweaty body and slipped on some pyjama bottoms, and opened the champagne and poured out two glasses.  He turned down the bed and placed the tray on it and turned on the TV to watch the New Year’s countdown show and climbed into bed. The shower turned off and soon after Demelza came out of the bathroom in one of Ross’s t-shirts and her knickers, combing her hair out.  

Ross smiled at her.  He always loved it when she wore his clothes.  “Hey you.  Feeling better?”

Demelza sat gently on the bed, “Yes, I do, much better.  The food looks good.  What did you end up making?” 

“Well, we have a ham and cheese sandwich with mustard, and a roast beef and cheese sandwich with mustard, with pickles on the side.  Not too exciting.  I like both so you pick what you want and I’ll take what’s left.”

“Oh I’ll have the ham and cheese, and some tea.  Thank you very much.  What are we watching?” Demelza took a large bite of her sandwich and took a cup of tea from Ross.

“Oh, it’s just some New Year’s countdown show.  We can turn it off if you want,” Ross took a bite of his sandwich.

“Oh it’s fine, I don’t really care.  Ross I just happened to think, we didn’t see Seamus when we came home,” Demelza said.

“Oh I’m sure he was in mum and da’s room.  He usually stays close to them when we’re here visiting.  Hey, you never mentioned that you and your brother look so much alike.  I felt like I was seeing double!” Ross said.

“Oh, I guess I never thought about it much.  It’s not like there were mirrors everywhere to look at ourselves,’ Demelza took another bite of her sandwich.

“Interesting.  Is Luke next to you in line?” Ross asked.

“No, Sam is next in line to me, then Luke.  I felt bad tonight when he told me that father used to beat him as well.  I really thought I was the only one.  I mean, I knew that all of us were hit by him, but I really thought they just got a back hand every once in a while,” she explained.

Ross picked up her hand and kissed it tenderly.  “I wish that I could banish all of that away from your memories.”

Demelza smiled at those kind eyes, “I know Ross.” 

They sat in silence watching the tele, eating their sandwiches for a bit.  Ross set aside the empty plates and sat up in bed.  “Why don’t you come over here, I think I owe you a back rub,” Ross gently pulled Demelza in between his legs and started massaging her back. Every once in a while he could feel the scars still left on her back, but tried to avoid them.   It didn’t take long for Demelza to start moaning from the rubdown she was getting.  “Where do you hurt more, hmm? Is it your low back?”  Ross moved his hands lower.  “Oh yes, Ross, right there.  Harder please!”  Ross chuckled lightly, “That’s what you said last night!”   “Haha, very funny.  But seriously, rub me harder there.”  “Alright, alright.  I don’t want to hurt you.”   “Oh yeah, that’s it.  Judas, that feels so good.  Thanks babe.”  Demelza sat back up.  “You are quite welcome.  I’m sure if there was anyone standing outside the door listening in, they were probably wondering what we were up to!” Ross laughed.  

Demelza climbed on top of Ross’s lap, “You mean something like this.” Demelza grabbed Ross’s face and planted a sensuous kiss on Ross’s lips.  Ross opened his lips to let Demelza’s tongue in his mouth to tango with his tongue.  Ross pulled back to catch his breath, “Well, Happy New Year’s to me!” Demelza smiled at him like she had something on her mind.  She pulled off the t-shirt that she was wearing and pulled Ross close to her so that they were bare chest to bare chest.   “Oh God Demelza,” Ross moaned.  Ross’s hands were caressing her bare back as he stared up in Demelza’s eyes.  Ross started kissing Demelza’s neck causing her to moan.  She laid her head back to allow him more access.  “Oh Rosssss.”   He found her rocking against his lap.  She heard a low moan, a sound that she didn’t recognize was coming from herself, and Ross was moaning right along with her.  He grabbed her hips and was helping her move back and forth.  She would have bruises from his fingers in the morning, but she didn’t care.  She laid back in his hands at her waist, her head laid back with her fire red hair draping down.   Her ivory skin glowing.  Ross couldn’t believe what he was witnessing.  “Demelza, you are so fucking beautiful.  You look like a goddess laying like that.”  Demelza sat back up and grabbed Ross’s hair to lavish more kisses on him, “Ross, I want….”   Ross couldn’t believe Demelza and what was happening, “What do you want, my love.  Tell me what you want!”  “I want you.  Oh God.  I need you so much Ross,” she cried out.   Ross looked her in the eyes, “But you are… are you sure?”  Demelza looked back at him, “Oh God yes, that is, if you don’t mind trying it?”  “I’m willing if you are.  Go to the bathroom and take care of yourself, and bring a couple of towels back out with you, yeah?”  Demelza shook her head and ran into the bathroom.  

Ross wasn’t sure what got into Demelza but he wasn’t going to question it. Ross had never thought much about a woman’s period let alone make love to her while she was having it, so he googled it quickly to find out more about it to make sure that it wouldn’t hurt Demelza.  He found out that it wouldn’t hurt the woman, and that it is a natural thing to happen and could even ease the woman’s pain during her cycle.  It just depended on the couple and how they felt about it.  Well I guess I’m going to find out! He thought to himself.  Ross got out of the bed and pulled the covers back even more and took a large drink from his champagne glass and refilled it.  According to the countdown, midnight was getting closer.  He turned off all of the lights except one bedside lamp and lit a few of the candles just as Demelza came out of the bathroom holding the towels crumpled up in front of her, and a wet washcloth.  He smiled to himself because she still had issues about standing naked in front of him.  He walked over to her and gave her a gentle kiss, “Are you sure about this?  I don’t want you to feel like this is something you have to do.”

Demelza laid the towels on the bed, “Oh Ross, I don’t know what’s come over me, but I really need to feel your love right now, please.”  She was almost begging and it almost broke his heart.

“Oh my darling, you always have my love.  Why don’t you have a drink of your champagne and I’ll spread the towels out.  It’s almost midnight!”  Ross spread the towels down on the sheet and noticed that Demelza drank most of her champagne and poured more in her glass.  He turned the tele off and removed his bottoms and climbed back into bed sitting against the headboard.  Demelza found some soft music on her phone and quickly joined him.

Demelza took her place back sitting on Ross’s lap.  Ross took a moment to look into her eyes, smiling at her as he stroked her hair lovingly.  

“Happy New Year’s babe,” Ross said. 

 “Happy New Year’s Ross.” 

Ross thought Demelza’s eyes seemed darker than usual, “Our first New Year’s, the first of many I hope,” Ross leaned up to lay a soft kiss on her lips.  “I am your humble servant and  at your beckon call.”  His kisses continued lovingly one loving kiss after another.   Demelza was smiling and enjoying Ross’s attention.  Her breathing was a little faster and she was hanging onto his shoulders for dear life as if she was falling over a cliff with him. “Let me love you Demelza.” Ross’s lips moved to her left nipple and gently sucked on it while squeezing the other gently in his fingers.  Demelza let out a soft “Ooohhhh”.  Ross wondered if Demelza realised that she was rocking her hips again on his.  He was enjoying every bit of it and wanted to make sure that she did too.  He moved his mouth to her other breast and ravished it in his mouth, causing her to yell out, “Roosss.  Oh I love you!”  She grabbed his hair and was holding his head against her breast.  He couldn’t help but moan out.  He slowly licked up her neck again and again.  She began to shake a little bit and he wasn’t sure if she was cold or just overwhelmed, “Are you cold my love?”   She shook her head, “No, I don’t know why I’m shaking.  I need you Ross, please!”  He helped her raise up a little and then she reached back behind her and took his cock in her hand and lined it up and lowered herself on it.  They both moaned at the same time as she bottomed out on him. He had wrapped his arms around her so that she could feel even closer to him.    

She lowered her head to his shoulder and could smell his cologne mixed with his sweat. She began to rub her cheek in Ross’s beard, biting at his jawline.  Ross let out a hiss at the feeling that she was stirring in him.   “God Ross, I love this feeling.”  Ross couldn’t stop laying soft kisses on her head and face.  “Oh Demelza, I love it too.  I love it too.”  Demelza finally was able to raise herself up a little and then come back down on Ross bringing out another moan from Ross.  They had only made love in this position a couple of times so it still felt new to Demelza.  She raised up again, only this time with Ross’s help at her hips.  She came back down again and moaned.  She adjusted herself so that she could raise up easier.  Ross planted his feet on the mattress so that he could rise up in Demelza to help her, and she loved the friction that he was causing.  “Mmmmm Demelza, you feel so good, so hot inside” Ross whispered in her ear.   Demelza was trying to go faster to reach her climax.  Ross let out a slight chuckle, “Slow down babe, we have all night.  Yesss, that’s it Demelza, nice and slow.”  Demelza was finally getting into the rhythm of things.  Ross could hear little whimpers coming from Demelza.  She was running her fingers through her hair, throwing her head back enjoying the feeling.  “Fuck, you’re beautiful Demelza, so beautiful.”  Ross had sped up their rhythm, Demelza rolled herself back up to embrace Ross and bite on his neck.  “Ross, I’m close, but I can’t…”

All of a sudden Ross flipped them without losing connection so that Demelza was on her back and Ross was on top of her, “I’ll take care of you my love, don’t worry,” he whispered into her ear.  And with that Demelza raised her legs up over his back and locked them at the ankles.  The different angle made Demelza moan even more.  “Demelza, I need you to look at me.”  Demelza left her eyes closed, “Look at me!”  She finally opened her eyes to look at her lover.  It was almost too much.   She felt like she was falling deep into his bourbon coloured eyes, and there wasn’t anything around them, no sound.  Just the two of them, together, feeling each other’s love.  Ross leaned up on his left elbow and reached between them with his right hand at the spot where they were joined and helped Demelza come to her climax.  He had lost all rhythm now as Demelza came, tears streaming down her red cheeks. “Rosss.”   It wasn’t long before he joined her in his end, moaning her name, “Mmmelza, I love you, so much.” 

Ross was finally able to slow down enough to stop, his hips stuttering at the end.  He started to climb off Demelza when she stopped him, “Don’t go Ross, please stay.”

“Demelza, I’m too heavy to lay on you like this.”

“No you’re not, please don’t go.”

He smiled down at her and kissed her tears away.  “Alright, for just a minute.” Ross raised up, “Are you alright, love?  Are you in pain anywhere?”  Demelza smiled at him, “I am absolutely wonderful,” she said.   Ross smiled and laid his forehead against hers feeling so emotional over what just happened between the two of them.  He knew that guys weren’t supposed to get emotional over sex, but he couldn’t help it.  What they just shared was so intense, so…. He wasn’t even sure what words he could use.  Powerful maybe?  

Ross soon rolled off of Demelza when he thought she had fallen asleep.  He had taken the wet cloth to clean her up, and then himself.  He laid back down and pulled her into his arms. 

“Goodnight my love.”

“Goodnight Ross.  I love you.”

“I love you too sweetheart.”

****************************

*Note:  My parents owned a restaurant when I was growing up.  When I was a little girl, I always thought that if I had a restaurant, I would name it The Purple Onion - the name of the restaurant Luke works in lol.

[hihimissamericanbi]

hiiii lantern, amber, & quilt please 🍂🎃🧡

Hi 🫦🫴🏼🫴🏼💦 (sorry) (🫦) (sorry)

🎃Lantern: best friend lore

Sorry babe you opened up the floodgates on this one.

I have several best friends and all their lore is remarkable. One of them I've known since I was four and we bonded over our love for spiders and playing dress up and wanting to marry each other instead of boys (ew). One of them introduced my husband and I to each other when we were all fifteen. We've all kept each other all these years and have survived a lot of shit. I quite literally wouldn't be here without her. One of them is my platonic soulmate I met as an adult and she is my James in that, there is no real word for what we are to each other but there doesn't really have to be. There's a lot of choice and intentionality in our relationship.

And this doesn't even cover the iron-clad relationships I have with several other important groups of people, who are all my family in every way that matters.

I have kind of a thing about friendships I think, about not being afraid to commit to them, to let the love in, to make all the long distance work. That's something I've learned about myself in adulthood.

And I think I also have to acknowledge my high school best friend here. We are still friends and love each other very much, but our relationship is different now from what it was fifteen years ago. Sometimes I wish I could tell her she was my first love, and I wish I had had the space and the language to have told her that back then.

😬Amber: Unpopular opinion

I really couldn't care less to debate fandom characterizations so I'll make this about something real bc it's my blog and I care about this.

TW: infertility, pregnancy, family separation, adoption, queer parenthood

I have learned a lot about the realities of the institution of adoption, things I didn't know until I started looking into it after I couldn't have biological children. After literal years of research, therapy, following and listening to the voices of adult adoptees, I largely don't support adoption, at least in the way most Americans/Westerners consider it. I am RABID about the intersectionality between children's liberation and queer liberation, not to mention all the other identities that overlap when you're discussing these topics: race, class, sex, gender, religion, etc.

*THIS POST IS NOT COMING FOR ANYONE I promise. Also, just to spell it out in case there was a shed of doubt, I do not believe a set type of person or people is better suited to raise a family than another. BEING A GOOD PARENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR GENDER OR ORIENTATION. I just happen to occupy a very unique little corner of the evangelical>infertile>queer agnostic pipeline that gives me unpopular opinions on, say, a lot of adoption tropes in queer fanfic. Tropes i would have seen absolutely nothing wrong with before learning from adoptees. I am thrilled to point people to resources and activists in this space if you would like to learn more. I am also thrilled to ignore/block/delete anyone wanting to have an argument on the godforsaken internet. That's not for this page, pick another one 😊

Tldr: adoption tropes in fic and media in general---epecially baby-on-the-doorstep/infant adoption--is not a viable happily ever after ending for a queer couple to me.

Uh.... next question, I guess??

☕️Quilt: How I take my tea/coffee

Coffee. And it's oatmilk. Not picky but I do love a nespresso with oatmilk or a nitro cold brew with oatmilk. I have also been known to order a cappuccino.

Does anyone even want to play after that dumpsterfire

[arthur-r]

these are all piled together in the same part of my brain and i’m so obsessed with it

[michiganrag]

In response to Anonymous following up on their Looney Tunes comics character dynamics ask from two years ago:

It’s good to hear from you! I actually deleted that initial ask because I didn’t think that you/anyone would still be interested if I didn’t answer within a couple of days...I'm keeping this follow up ask in my drafts until I’m able to give it a proper response--you deserve one lol. The comics are their own strange canon I’d love to get back into exploring so no worries! I do wish some things like Petunia and Bugs like you mentioned would get re-explored in LTC, a lot of potential there.

9/11/22 EDIT: I feel stupid being this way about an ask I could probably throw some stuff down on, but I wanted to reread the comics so I remembered stuff I’ve forgotten the past couple years when things were fresh in my mind, but that’s just…. Not happening. Late July things got unexpectedly rough and even tho it’s doing better now in terms of my schedule I’m at a point where I’m so far behind in classwork now from late July that I can’t keep up. I don’t know if you were keeping tabs on this, it’s so embarrassing but I’m probably not ever getting to it or doing a serious write up for this blog in the foreseeable months.

UHHH BASICALLY THINGS ARE DIFFERENT BUGS AND ELMER AND DAFFY ARE MORE EXPLICITLY FRIENDS, YOSIMITE SAM EVEN IS EASIER TO GET ALONG WITH, we have daffy that isn’t cynical interacting with Bugs which I thought was fresh and still really like. There’s also Bugs and Porky able to be chums but also get into little rivalries (if memory serves) which is great for them, and it’s interesting to see since they never interact in the show. That’s the crux of it never interacting in the show. HERES WHERE I WOULD ADD PICTURES AND ENDEARING EXAMPLES BUT I GOTTA BE GETTING READY FOR WORK IN A HANDFUL OF HOURS SORRY.

Here’s what I wrote in July, tl;dr my main tumblr, life update from the past couple years, and that you can DM me for my discord:

Also, since you asked how I’ve been (two years ago I was taking a break from Tumblr), I think I’ll update here publicly for anybody curious on this blog slowing down/me personally:

Basically, I’m doing fine. I honestly lost a bit of interest in LT compared to where I’ve been in the past. If you want to see what I’m into at any given time I’m active daily on @surfinthehighway​ though I don’t really pressure myself to post original content at all and just ramble, sometimes A LOT, in the tags of reblogs. It’s fun.

My LT interest will crop back up with time no doubt--old ones always come back around.

Outside of hobbies, where we last left off with me taking a break was a period of wild unhappiness which has since led to me getting my first job and dropping out of my four-year college to take classes more geared towards working in the animation industry from online institutions and art colleges via continuing education classes. So I’ve been busy busy busy! If anyone does want to connect, I think Discord might be the best way. I don’t want to have my Discord tag here publicly but shoot me a DM if you want to connect there or if you want to join my LT server (it’s been quiet recently but it’s small and comfy... infodumping encouraged!)

[bookwyrminspiration]

(Ophelia) About the changing and growing thing, I can confirm from an outside perspective that you have seemed to change quite a bit in the past few years. I looked at some of your posts from the early years of your blog once (I’m sorry if that’s a creepy thing to do, I’m not sure how people feel about that sort of thing.) and the whole time I was reading them I was thinking ”Who is this person?” because your mannerisms and attitude seemed completely different! And that’s not an insult to the way you were before or the way you are now, change is normal! It was just really interesting seeing how different you seemed then compared to now. Also, I hope you’re doing well and that school isn’t too stressful at the moment. I hope you have a nice day.

Ophelia!!! This is excellent news!! I have been trying to unmask more and more the past few years and embrace my natural speaking mannerisms and ways of interacting instead of intentionally mirroring the people around me. I know a few years ago my strategy to Properly Socializing was seeing what other people did and then doing The Exact Same Thing and it was...not always successful but I didn't know what else to do!! so some of my old posts are very clearly structured like other people who were in the fandom at the time because those were the examples I saw!!

Reading my old posts sometimes makes me feel like I am slowly melting as my internal tissues implode and condense because it doesn't feel like me at all, but I leave them up and leave them linked on the masterposts because they're like a testament to how much I've changed and I think that's cool. And also because it's keeper related things and even if I don't talk the same anymore people may still want to see what I've said in the past!! There might be a few I'd want to delete completely, but I'm too lazy to go back and find them. But some of the changes I can remember off the top of my head is I no longer use emojis because I don't like them very much with how they clash with the text. Other people can use them and send them to me, I just don't like to use them myself!!

If anyone sees a really old post of mine please do not judge me based on them I am a whole new person with different opinions and judgements of things!! But I don't mind people going back and looking at old things at all! If anything, like one of them so I can see how far back you go and also be reminded of the posts I've made. I've lost track of how many times I'll see a notif for a post and click on it to see the post and didn't even remember it existed. Sometimes I'll then reblog it because I'll go "oh that's cool!!"

I mean I've been here for four years and have gone through some of the most revealing and influential times of my life so far in those four years so I certainly hope they've had an impact on me and I've grown from them!! Hopefully the changes are for the better, but I guess time will tell.

also school is going fine, thank you!! almost done with my intersession course and I keep forgetting to do email things so I can get course books and also request my degrees to be mailed to me and things like that, but I'm doing alright!! I hope you're also doing okay <33 emotionally I am in a bookstore with you rn perusing the shelves for a book to share

[arecomicsevengood]

Read a few comics today I thought were absolute bangers. All were serializations, basically self-published, that I haven’t seen much coverage of. I am going to half-ass my own reviewing practice in favor of just noting their existence. Sorry for not including images in this post.

Mike Shea-Wright’s Gigs Chapter One had me wondering “wait, is this the same guy as Tristan Wright, who did that Low Light comic a few years ago?” and I don’t think it is, but in a larger sense it is helpful to think of them as the same person. Mike Shea-Wright did a TCJ Cartoonist’s Diary last year. Anyway, Gigs is very cheap for the size it’s printed at and how many pages there are in it, and it’s telling a sci-fi story on pages without panel borders. The approach does sorta seem like if Tristan Wright (whose comics I compared to stuff that would run in Brandon Graham’s Island, interested in Moebius and Miyazaki) saw Connor Willumsen’s comics and loosened up their approach to how pages should read. The depiction of warehouse parties also suggests an author who was a big fan of the Load Records noise-rock scene of Lightning Bolt, Coughs, etc. and while that is an interest of mine as well, it also feels like the book’s low price point for the production value is also indebted to the early work of Brian Chippendale and Anya Davidson. So I love all of that stuff, and the concerns of the book’s subject matter also aligns with my own: Characters are getting older, wondering if they want to have kids, pursuing nontraditional relationships, still trying to party. The big questions are being asked: What’s the deal with robots and should we be nice to them, and for that matter, how should we interact with and raise children? Really great stuff, the author has other stuff that’s available via Domino Books and still other stuff that’s been reviewed at Four Color Apocalypse by Ryan Carey. This one’s at Wig Shop and Partners And Son. This came out last year I think, hopefully there’s more on the way.

Miles MacDiarmid’s Hive: The Coronation just came out, and is hopefully still in print, because it’s in the running to be the book of the year, as far as I’m concerned. MacDiarmid’s a member of Freak Comix, with Cristian Castelo, and I’d read a few of his comics before, all revolving around the same cast of characters. This is the latest incarnation of that sort of alternative comic about young people, going to parties and hanging out, with some surrealistic or fantasy touches. Like, there’s Jaime Hernandez’s Locas material, there’s Evan Dorkin’s Hectic Planet strips and probably a bunch of other Slave Labor and Fantagraphics also-rans lost to the sands of time. It’s kinda sick that every generation reinvents the youthful slacker comedy. You can also cite Simon Hanselmann as the current inheritor of this style, but the vibe’s different here -- more drinking beers and going out and less staying in smoking weed. Feel like the comedic timing is really good in this one, starting off aiming for naturalism and then ramping up the sorta surrealist elements until arriving at full-on horror. The character designs are all sort of cartoony grotesques from the jump though. This is in full color, and is a nice hefty object. Ends on a cliffhanger. While trying to find Miles’ website, I found this Pinterest post from his mom. This book is at Domino Books currently. There’s also a comic of Deleted Scenes I think I want to get but right now can’t find a link to. Freak also published the Shaheen Beardsley O Boy book I believe is now sold out, but there was never a site where you could order MacDiarmid’s books as well as the Beardsley for some reason, I don’t think.

Daryl Seitchik reprinted the first issue of Follow The Doll last year, and I have only now gotten around to reading it. I have previously talked shit on the Center For Cartoon Studies style -- their approach to comics-making favors starting from a place of simplicity of storytelling, in a way where, even though the artists may later complicate their work, it always seems straightforward in a way that a self-taught artist that starts off over-ambitious and then learns how to speak more clearly is just inherently more interesting. When I said this, I wasn’t aware Seitchik went to CCS. I like her work precisely because it does have a very straightforward toolkit that it then seeks to complicate. This story is an adaptation of a folktale (which my understanding has is a very common CCS assignment) but it leans into the dreaminess and instability of memory. I hope it gets weirder as it goes but what’s in this issue is a promising start.

I also read the third issue of Marc Pearson’s series from Glom Press. The first installment was called Flamingo Diamond, the new one’s called Mist From The Geyser. Pearson’s a fun cartoonist, Glom is a cool publisher, though they’re based in Australia and shipping charges are usually prohibitive. I got these from Partners And Son. This is an interesting serial, that feels fairly digressive, with the non sequitur being a big part of the sense of humor, and major characters that were introduced in early installments are absent in this one, which focuses on secondary characters, one of whom has become an amnesiac since his last appearance. While other comics I’m highlighting here are about young people and parties as the locus of social lives, this focuses on the middle aged and elderly, who are all meeting in passing, one-on-one, and trying to puzzle out their lives. It’s a very different effect, defined by entropy. Whether this is all going somewhere or just swirling around an absent center, I have no idea, but I’m on board.

Glom also publishes an artist named Eloise Grills, whose book with Glom has a blurb by the poet Hera Lindsay Bird. Her next book is being put out by an Australian press called Affirm Press, and it’s called Big Beautiful Female Theory. I’m probably not the right person to do it but I do hope one of my freelancing compatriots at The Comics Journal requests a review copy and writes about it.

Another serialized self-published thing, also about young people going to house parties and encountering the paranormal, is the maybe stalled out at the moment Adam De Souza series A Gleaming. Really nice art in that one, you can see De Souza’s work in an online comic strip called Blind Alley now as well as a short story collection called -ish Silver Sprocket is putting out. But I didn’t read any of that stuff today, I read it back when I read the earlier installments of the Marc Pearson stuff I‘m only mentioning now.

[nolantalks]

HEARD A NEW STORY ABOUT YOU FROM TEN YEARS AGO.

Ahh another one that magically popped up and with no proof at all no doubt. It’s always fun hearing new stories even if I already know how they are going to go. It’s always one of four ways and I’ll break them down with the actual truth of what really happened.

1) The thing that never happened.

Pretty self explanatory really. This is the story you’d see on r/thathappened really. It’s a made up tale either a complete work of fiction. Just a tale to add to the mythos or something they themselves made up out of a dream for whatever reason.

2) the thing you actually did or the tale you witness somewhere else.

It’s something that they saw happen on some group they were on and they erased the name of the people involved, of the group, and the year and inserted me and what they need to in order to do the story right. Also can be something they themselves did but are trying to change the narrative so it was me instead of them so they can muddy peoples memory and separate themselves from it while keeping someone in the frame so those that don’t remember the fine details can spread this version.

They have zero evidence of anything and the minute you question it they either get defensive as hell of delete it. A good example of this is that Katherine McNamara lady. She took the tale of when she and her friends were annoyed by one sixteen year old girl and sent a groomer and pedo in the group after her. She removed her friends, made me into the pedo, and her I to the victim. But she fucked up when she claimed the group was her own, on jcink, was a supernatural group, and discord was involved. When you question it and learn the group’s main was still up on tumblr and it was a slice of life site and discord wasn’t even public in the time she’s claiming, she instantly deleted the post and distanced herself from the tale but some people wanna believe it despite knowing it’s completely fake.

3) the mountain out of a mole hill.

This is pretty much the thing that might have annoyed someone and they/others made it into a Shakespearean drama. This from my experience are your ALR and WOTNA type dramas.

On the former I message someone asking if they saw my reply as I was waiting in their own, if not it’s cool I’m just letting them know. They tell me they are so sorry and and missed it but will reply right now. I then send two other messages each someone between 7 to 10 days apart again asking they they wanted to continue the thread and if not it’s cool I’ll just consider it done and the last that I’m dropping after seeing them reply and make other new threads and won’t post with them again unless they start the thread. Which didn’t even annoy the person I was sending it to, it annoyed the girl who was shipped with their character as she felt I was trying to move on to the ship despite having a thing with another female character and my character openly state and be known as a close friend almost little brother like figure for the character who according to her I was trying to steal the ship of. And some how she got the whole staff team to believe I was harassing multiple members and sexually doing something that was never clear. Only to later on be told by the staff and members that they person who started it all was known as being dramatic and insanely toxic but she had pull with the main admin so what she said went.

The WOTNA drama has been told to death and just like the ALR, staff and those involved have openly admitted it was made up drama, people spun their own made up tales to be involved in it, and it was good gossip. At the heart of it, it really was just my friend I was posting with bitched he didn’t like how I posted and made my character do a lot to progress the thread, he never told me this, kept bitching to one staff member about it, and that staff member spread it to others who then through out trigger words drama. Both my friend has said a lot of the stuff claimed he didn’t even know and never said and staff even said they were pretty sure so and so said it and it had to be true always also admitting when they had drama with someone else they just blamed it on me then would switch back to blaming someone else when they had drama with that person.

Small little things that range from an annoyance, lack of communication, or just born of jealousy that gets packed on and on til it’s this mutated thing that it never was but everyone thinks of as true. At least until it’s broken down and even then no one really knows what actually happened until you break down all the layers and see it all started over this small stupid thing.

4) The I hate you so fuck you.

This can be anyone from former friends, former staff/members, friend of a friend, someone you never interacted with or knew existed, or the person who is irrelevant trying to use you to be someone important. AKA a social climber.

They don’t know you but hate you because it’s popular and people will listen to or read in this case, anything with your name attached to it. They don’t realize you’re the draw and the one getting all the attention. The more they go off on you the more you get people both just over it and not caring and people wanting to hear your said and feeling bad for you having such a crazy loon wanting to ride your d. I call them fans and finally found out how to monetize them so getting some extra money every week thanks to them. It’s great, keep going haha.