#and also word limit <- guy who has lots of things to say about everything

[raazberry]

been seeing a lot of discourse about modern art on twitter and it makes me kind of sad how people don't consider some of those works to be "real art" because they could "easily make it themselves" or "it's too boring" or "it's too plain". like even though to some extent i get the frustration or even disdain at certain pieces i just don't understand why people take everything at face value and don't even attempt to get what the artist is trying to represent. i hate that everything is about visual appeal and beauty when historically art's purpose has been the representation of literally anything.

don't get me wrong i'm not trying to say that you have to like what i like or anything of that sort. it's just silly to discredit something you don't understand. it just feels kind of stupid to just be like "well i could make this too" because you didn't make it. and nobody's stopping you from making it either.

[ln444]

dating lando. . .

cw: mentions of sex, f!reader, fluff, slight smut.

notes: my first post 😭 i'm not very confident abt it but i hope you guys will like it! my requests are open so don't hesitate if you have any suggestions or just want to talk ! enjoy<3

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physical touch; i feel like lando would be incredibly touchy, even if it's just his hand on your thigh or sitting beside you with your shoulders touching. he simply needs to feel close to you every chance he gets. in public, he might dial back his affection slightly because he treasures those private moments, but that won't stop him from stealing sweet, discreet kisses when no one is watching or quietly holding your hand because he just can't keep his hands off you. in crowded places, he's the kind of person who instinctively puts his arm around your waist to ensure your safety. when it's just the two of you, lando can't help but be hands-on. he'll find any excuse to touch you, whether it's running his fingers through your hair or playing with your hands while you're chilling. he'll pull you closer every time you're beside him, or even have you on his lap while he's engrossed in some random pc game. kissing you is practically an obsession for him, and it's not limited to your lips. he adores exploring every inch of your skin, planting kisses on your neck, nose, cheeks, hands, and thighs. however, his absolute favorite place to kiss is still your lips. every kiss from lando feels as passionate and full of adoration as the first time, and he can never get enough of it.

quality time; he would definitely message you whenever he's available to spend time with you and invite you to hang out. he absolutely loves your company, even if it's just the two of you relaxing on the bed, watching entertaining videos and tiktoks, or having silly conversations. however, his favorite moments are when you embark on fun dates, like going to the arcade or go karting. his heart is full of joy from seeing you happy during these moments and he wants to tattoo every second of them into his memory. lando likes all types of dates because his primary desire is to share time with you. it might depend on his mood; sometimes he just wants to chill with you all day, staying in bed or playing games together. other times; he wants to venture out and go dance with you all night or go for a midnight swim. in the end, what really matters is that you are together.

words; in the early days of your relationship it was kinda hard for lando to express his feelings, he felt a bit uneasy because he was not used to vocalizing his feelings, he's more the type to keep everything for himself. but, with you, he learns surprisingly fast to talk about how he feels, both negative or positive emotions. you became his safe place. he would always praise you when he has the chance to even if it's for small random things, he would always remind you how much he's proud of you (and you do the same too ofc). even if this man loves teasing you, he also knows when to be serious and how to make you feel valued and loved. he uses a lot of nicknames like "angel", "love" or "sweetheart" because he knows how much you love them and how special it makes you feel. you were definitely the first one to say i love you, not that lando didn't want to say it but he was just too nervous to do it but since you did, he can't help but say it everyday.

sex; lando always makes sure you feel safe and comfortable when you're having sex. it doesn't mean that he doesn't like it rough tho, he absolutely loves having rough sex with you, even more when he's stressed or frustrated because of a race; hair pulling, spanking, face fucking, dirty talk... but always while making sure that you're okay. when it comes to vanilla sex, lando can become the softest man ever, he would whisper sweet things to you like; "that's my pretty girl", "i'm so lucky to have such a beautiful girl just for me", "you're doing so good angel", accompanied by gentle touches and kisses all over your body or when he's softly making love to you. his favorite thing is eating you out, he's literally obsessed with your pussy and will find any excuses to get a taste, even more when you ride his face while your eyes are locked with his.

[aprilsprincess]

you are in love | cedric diggory x fem!reader (part 1)

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Cedric was content with what he had. He was prefect, quidditch captain and the unspoken partner of yours. He wouldn't want to risk a thing with you because everything is so good as it is. But when other students are thrown into the equation, at the end of the day, is he truly yours?

warnings: two dummies in love, reader is a Gryffindor

word count: 2.5k

a/n: This is my first fic published so I'm nervous!! But I'm going to try to make multiple parts for this one because it was just getting too long and I have so many ideas for Cedric (bc we were robbed!) Also not proofread! ₊˚⊹♡

Fred pushed the list of self made “Prettiest Girls at Hogwarts” in the new first years’ faces. The tiny moving portraits of the Hogwarts girls looked a little silly in the first years’ minds but the twins insisted that pictures solidify their case.   

“These are who you lot should be aiming for,” he stated with confidence, utterly prideful of the list, “aside from y/n of course, she’s off limits.” 

“Off limits? She said she didn’t have a boyfriend while she toured us though?” a small first year girl chirped. The twins exchanged a knowing look before chuckling slowly. 

“The beautiful Gryffindor prefect, my little unknowing friends, is off limits because ah, right on time as usual” George dramatically cocked his head in your direction.  

You had been eating your breakfast alone quite peacefully when you felt someone in yellow dawned robes slip into the open seat beside you. 

“Cedric Diggory, Hufflepuff prefect, quidditch seeker-“ 

“And captain” George sang. 

“And just all around dream boy. All the girls think he’s bloody fit.” Fred concluded. 

“He has kind of an unspoken dibs on y/n. Has had one since last year when they became prefects. No one has even tried to make any advances on her cause of it.” 

“Why’s that?” the first years were now all huddled close to the twins, listening with intense interest. 

Fred rolled his eyes, “because look at the bloke!” A couple of students from neighbouring tables looked curiously in the direction of the loud proclamation. Looking around he leaned in closer to whisper, “Rumour has it he’s planning to put his name in for the Triwizard Tournament this year too. He’s as fit they come!” 

“Not to mention he’s so bloody nice that you can’t even hate the bloke for being so perfect.” George finished as the rest of the table nodded along, absorbing the precious information. 

“He’s not perfect you know.” Everyone whipped their head to see Hermione chiming in, not even looking up from her books. 

“If he was the dream boy you all say he is, they would’ve been together by now. Personally, I think he’s too comfortable for his own good.” 

“What’d you mean by that Hermione?” Fred asked. 

She shut her book with a thud and sighed, “Yes he’s attractive in all ways, but how long do you reckon he’s going to keep stringing her along like that? He’s been flirting with her for as long as he’s known her but won’t do anything about it. It’s sad really.” 

The twins paused while exchanging confused looks, not understanding what was so sad about the two perfect prefects’ relationship. 

“Ugh, boys!” Hermione, exasperated, gave up and opened the thick novel to continue her literature. 

It’s not like Cedric didn’t like you. He liked everything about you, but Hermione was right, he was comfortable with how things were. He wasn’t cocky, not in the slightest, but he was always far from worried when it came to you and other guys at the school. Everyone knew about you two, so he’s never been challenged for your attention. He in all honesty, guiltily enjoyed the lack of complication that the two of you had when it came to your relationship status. There wouldn’t be anything to lose if he didn’t start anything, so he stayed in his comfort with you. 

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“Morning y/n!” Cedric’s presence instantly made you feel relaxed and warm. 

“It’s such a pleasure seeing you here at my house’s table this morning Diggory.” you teased. It wasn’t completely unnatural for Cedric to join you at the Gryffindor table, but he usually felt that as a prefect, sitting at his own house table was almost a requirement. 

“I came bearing quite honourable and exciting news y/n,” he was beaming, so excited that it seemed like he was going to jump out of his seat, “I’ve decided to do it this year. I’ve officially made up my mind that I’m going to throw my name out for the Triwizard Tournament.” 

He was ecstatic, to say the least, and it was difficult for you to match his energy as you had just heard the worst news you could’ve expected from him. The Tournament has had students die while participating, so it wasn’t surprising that you didn’t want the boy you cared so much about to have a chance at it. 

He caught onto your uncertainty fairly quickly; you were obviously smiling but it didn’t reach your eyes. He let out a breath and carefully reached for your hand. 

“I know that you may feel hesitant about it but believe me, I know the risks but there is so much for me to gain from this experience. So please trust in me y/n.” his pleading eyes were too difficult to resist. 

“I do, I do trust you Cedric,” you mustered as much support as you could in that moment, “the Goblet would be stupid not to choose such a fine competitor.” Your words seemed to satisfy Cedric as he jumped out of his seat, gave you a quick kiss atop of your head and sped off to the Hufflepuff common rooms. 

He had made his mind up and the only thing you could possibly do was to try to hex that stupid over-gloried cup in your mind as you prayed to Dumbledore for Cedric’s name not to be pulled.  

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The news that students from other schools were coming to Hogwarts excited the masses. It wasn’t every day they got to see such new faces. Especially faces as attractive as the Beauxbaton and Durmstrang students. 

Everyone was bursting with excitement in the Great Hall, awaiting anxiously for the foreign students to arrive. You on the other hand were busy glancing at Cedric who was chatting happily with his housemates. 

“You’re staring you know.” Hermione’s deadpan voice made your head turn to face her, your eyes lingering just a second longer on the Hufflepuff table. 

“Honestly y/n, we have some of the greatest wizarding students coming in for a tournament that only happens every five years and your focus is on Diggory? Merlin y/n if anything, focus on the OWLs instead.” Hermione wasn’t annoyed, but instead truly baffled as to how you could easily ignore such a large celebration for one boy. 

You held up your hands in defense, but before you could retort, Dumbledore had already started introducing the new guests. 

The vision of blue overwhelmed your senses and you were stunned for a second, only being snapped back to reality by the hollering of the surrounding boys. You shifted in your seat in an attempt to see Cedric’s reaction to the Beauxbaton girls, but the rowdiness of the male students blocked your vision. Sinking back in your seat pouting, you wondered if Cedric was enjoying this as much as the other boys were. I mean, Ron was practically drooling. You didn’t have much time to sulk over the issue as you got simultaneously shoved on both sides by Hermione and Ginny. You craned your neck to see what was causing this female commotion. 

“Oh Merlin y/n, it’s Viktor Krum! And he’s even better up close!” Ginny whispered excitedly. You stared at the older boy not really impressed but you giggled with Ginny nonetheless, feeling left out of the Viktor-Krum-is-so-handsome festivities that were happening at the table. 

From across the grand path of new students, Cedric stared at you as you giggled and whispered with Ginny. Following your line of sight, his eyes were met with the stiff, soldier-like, famous Viktor Krum. Groaning, he hung his head in his hands as the noises of the Great Hall faded in his ears. He was beginning to think, maybe he was, in fact too cocky when it came to you. 

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Your friends were whispering excitedly in the courtyard when you had joined them. 

“What’s got you lot so excited?” you asked while squeezing to sit between Hermione and Ginny on the ledge. 

“Viktor Krum! What else?” Ginny chirped excitedly. Just at the mention of his name, the other girls squealed in pure bliss. You observed your young friends’ excitement happily. You hadn’t had much time to observe the new Hogwarts guests, as the reality of Cedric putting his name into the goblet this year became more and more clear to you. A warm hand delicately tapped your shoulder from behind you, breaking you from your worries temporarily, and you looked up and behind to see Cedric standing behind you while giving you his most infamous, heart-stopping smile. 

“Ladies” he nodded to the group of girls in acknowledgement before bringing his full attention to you. Content, you leaned your head back into his chest as you looked up at the boy who seemed to be radiating sunshine. 

“Cedric! What are you doing here?” you were beaming. He looked like honey. You couldn’t really describe it, but he was just so warm and so sweet. Beautiful really.  Especially in the courtyard sun. 

“I thought you could perhaps lend me your potions books for today?” he grinned lopsidedly at you as you sighed and pulled out the heavy book. How could you ever say no to this boy? 

“You’re the champion of my heart y/n, you know that?” you laughed when he clutched his heart with his free arm. Your heart bubbled with warmth. You let yourself bask in the feeling only for a moment when Ginny moved to head back to the common rooms first. Feeling rather amorous, you told her you would meet her back there soon. You wanted to share your bubbly feelings with someone and Ginny always loved listening to it. 

“Not just your heart Diggory.” Hermione teased quietly seeing that you were distracted with Ginny for a moment. She gestured Cedric towards a pair of Durmstrang students. One in particular seemed to be taking quite an interest in you. As the Durmstrang boy kept glancing at you, Cedric’s hand on your shoulder unconsciously became a little stiffer and he pulled you a little closer. 

Cedric then bent down to reach your ear and whispered lowly, “I really do appreciate it y/n. You’re not only the champion of my heart but also the one who holds my mind, body and soul in all completion.” The cheesiness of his words had you giggling. You knew he didn’t truly mean what he was saying, but the light tinge of pink on your cheeks was evident. 

Stretching back up to stand Cedric held his gaze on the Durmstrang boy, feeling rather confident and accomplished as he watched the boy’s friend pat him on the back consolingly as they walked away. 

“Oh, Merlin! I forgot that I told Ginny I’d meet her in the common room!” you frantically gathered your things and hollered rushed goodbyes. “Don’t forget to return my potions book Cedric!” you reminded and he chuckled lightly to himself in response. 

As your sporadic figure grew smaller in the distance, Hermione turned to face Cedric. “You know Diggory, every guy at Hogwarts may know of your guys’ relationship, but the ones at Durmstrang don’t.” Hermione stated matter-of-factly, making Cedric’s grin falter. 

“What’s that supposed to mean Granger?” Frustrated, Hermione groaned, “It means that although the boys at Hogwarts don’t fancy y/n, that doesn’t mean that the boys at Durmstrang won’t. You can’t pull that kind of stunt again with every Durmstrang boy she comes in contact with. Godric, boys are so dim sometimes!” she huffed as she turned on her heel to leave. 

Cedric rubbed the back of his neck, feeling quite sheepish for being caught in his rather childish act. Hermione was right though, he wouldn’t be able to keep every single guy away from you. So what was he supposed to do? 

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The night of the choosing of names came all too fast for you. You knew he put in his name. You knew he really wanted this. And for some reason, you felt like you knew he would be picked. This weighed heavily on your mind and you honestly could not for the life of you, pay attention to who the other two victors were. 

The paper flew out and Dumbledore caught it. The dread in your stomach increased to a nauseating level, the chatter of the students ringing in your ears and then the room went quiet. It wasn’t actually quiet but suddenly you weren’t able to hear the cheers of your peers as you watched the boy you yearned for so dearly, walk through the aisles in celebratory fashion. Your head started spinning, how many students had entered their names? What were the odds? How was it possible that the one student, the one student that you couldn’t risk being out in that tournament, had gotten picked? 

Cedric was on top of the world at that moment. He wasn’t too interested in becoming legendary or glorified through the Tournament but was simply elated to bring pride to the Hufflepuff House. He would be lying though, if he said that he would gladly take on the glory if it meant you would see him as such. Thinking of you, he searched quickly for your head in the crowd. When he finally spotted you, his grin widened but as he saw your fallen and disconnected expression he grew concerned and tried to move his way through the crowd to your spot. Unfortunately, it was a lost cause as the Goblet erupted once more and the wave of confused students swept Cedric further away from you. 

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“Krum’s got a yes!” Cedric turned his attention away from his house tablemates to the rowdy group of Durmstrang boys that were chirping excitedly. 

“Who’s the lucky woman Viktor? I mean half of this school wants to be your date to the Yule Ball! You have to tell us who you ended up asking!” the boys leaned in eager to hear more about Viktor’s proposal. 

“Who else, I asked the pretty Gryffindor I said I would ask.” he replied shortly, seemingly unamused by his friends. 

“Bloody hell, he’s asked y/n!” Cedric whipped his head around to the first-year Hufflepuff who had also turned to listen in. Cedric’s facial expression dropped. 

Glancing at Cedric nervously one of the older Hufflepuffs questioned the girl, “How in Merlin’s Beard would know that? Krum didn’t even say that he had asked y/n.” 

“It’s obvious!” she smiled as she hurriedly reached into her pocket and fished out a piece of paper. 

“Prettiest…Girls…At…Hogwarts” one of the Hufflepuffs read aloud slowly. Unbeknownst to you, the twins have not only been solidifying their list with the Gryffindor first years, but ALL the first years. 

“Look!” she pointed to your tiny moving portrait on the paper. 

“It says right there: y/n, 6th year, Gryffindor. If Viktor Krum had been talking about a pretty Gryffindor, it had had to be her. She’s a prefect, he would absolutely go for her!” the tiny girl smiled proudly at her findings as if she had cracked a hard case. 

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Sitting alone in the Hufflepuff common room, Cedric was deep in thought. 

Had Viktor Krum really asked you to the ball? Had you really said yes? He knew he hadn’t asked you at all but he had assumed it was only natural that the two of you would’ve gone together. Right..?

The more he questioned you and himself the more miserable he became.

[wildandsmile]

27 with itoshi rin please :D honestly i can see rin filling their partner up with his cum and put a vibrator them so that his cum doesn't leak out + plus he uses the remote to tease them throughout the day <3

｡☆✼★━ Challenge ━★✼☆｡

Summary: You stumbled upon a challenge on Twitter and shared it with your boyfriend, who seemed open to the idea. However, with the upcoming party on the horizon, you suspected he might have forgotten all about it. But as it turns out, you couldn't have been more wrong.

Tw : Creep Guy, Creep Group of guys, Annoying girls and Drinking.

Kinks : F receiving, Cream-pie, unprotected sex, penetrative sex (p in v), Rough sex, vibrators, impact play and spitting

Word count : 3.3k

An: Sorry if the smut isn’t the best it’s like 4 in the morning I’ll probably redo it later

Enjoy!

As you lounged comfortably on the plush couch, the soft glow of your phone screen illuminating your face, time seemed to slip away. Your Twitter feed was a never-ending stream of mundane updates and viral memes, until, out of nowhere, a tweet appeared that changing the mood of everything.

The interesting challenges caught your attention, luring you in with their mysterious allure. You had lots of free time and not much else to do, so you couldn't help but get curious about these intriguing suggestions. Some were harmless and innocent, while others were more daring, making you want to give them a try.

As you scrolled further, your heart started pounding when you found some really explicit challenges, things that you would on see one PornHub or something. Though as you read each suggestion it felt like it was drawing you into a world of intense passion and desire.

Then, like fate had a hand in it, a certain suggestion stood out among all the online noise. It caught your eye, making you curious like a moth drawn to a light. This challenge promised a night of excitement and closeness, but it also made you feel a bit nervous. The words on the screen gave you a shiver: "You or your partner has to wear a vibrator all day or night, while the other controls it."

You thought about it more and couldn't help yourself. You went to your bedroom where Rin was already there. When you sat next to him, he looked at you with curious eyes.You gave a little smile and got closer, gently touching his cheek, and asked, "Rin, should we give this a shot?" Just then, you showed him the tweet on your phone and point to the one that caught your attention.

With a sly smile, he said, "So, if I get this right, you want one of us to wear a vibrator all day?" You nodded, and he chuckled, saying, "Okay, we'll do it, but on my terms." You asked, "What are the terms?" He then grinned wickedly and said, "First, I choose when and where you put the vibrator on. Second, if you get handsy or try to finish early, I increase the intensity. Lastly, no holding back moans, even in public."

You were about to say "yes," but then what he said registers in your head , causing you playfully hit him in the arm. You then say, "I can't touch you or myself when I'm feeling needy, and I have to talk in moanish gibberish that not far."

With that, Rin gracefully rises, positioning himself shoulder to shoulder with you. He places his hand beneath his chin, tilting his head to the right, a clear sign that he's deep in thought. Eventually, he arrives at some sort of conclusion, declaring, "Alright, I’ll let you win – just this once. So, here's the deal: when you get all needy, you can handle it yourself, or even use my body to help , but I'm strictly off-limits when it comes to helping you so no begging for me to fuck you or touch you sound far."

His face lights up with a mischievous grin, and you find yourself equally enthralled by the idea, offering a nod of agreement. The two of you settle with that, and both of you return to looking at the TV screen, immersing yourselves in the world of sappy old romance movies. It's been an absolute blast. Everything was going well, but suddenly, Rin’s loud alarm goes off. He turns over and turns it off before getting out of bed, and saying, "It's time for us to get ready."

You raise an eyebrow, confused by your boyfriend's sudden excitement. You didn't remember any important plans, so you just stayed in bed, not doing much. It was only when Rin spoke excitedly that you stopped rolling around."We need to get ready for the party tonight," he reminds you, trying to jogging your memory. "Remember the one I mentioned last week? It's like a get-together for me and the guys from Blue Lock."

You stop fidgeting and think hard. After a moment, you remember what he talked about. You look at him again and say, "I thought that was in October."

He quickly takes off the covers, picks you up, and carries you to the bathroom. He hands you your toothbrush from the matching set you got together. Then, with a teasing look, he says, "It's October, sweetheart."

You shoot him a disbelieving look, your expression clearly conveying a "no way" sentiment. Your incredulous gaze causes him to pause mid-toothbrushing, and he points over to the bathroom calendar and speaker.

Turning your attention to these, you're met with the surprising revelation that the date indeed reads October 12. You offer a nonchalant shrug, not wanting to admit that you'd completely lost track of time.

Now, as you both stand side by side, brushing your teeth together while nodding along to your shared playlist, you can't help but smile. It's a simple, endearing routine that only the two of you share. It's one of those cute, intimate moments that usually belong in movies, but somehow, it's a part of your everyday life.

Though you couldn’t bathe in the moment, for too long knowing how particular Rin can be about punctuality, you hasten your tooth-brushing, not wanting to keep him waiting. You quickly grab something comfortable to wear, fully aware that your boyfriend has a penchant for making you try on countless outfits, even when you're only looking for one.

Finally, the two of you venture out into the bustling world of stores and outlets. While strolling and casually peering into shop windows, your gaze locks onto a stunning drape collar dress in a mesmerizing champagne hue. Captivated by its beauty, you can't resist tugging on Rin's arm, impulsively leading him into the store. Without wasting a moment, you head straight to the racks, where you luckily find the dress in your size.

Hastening to the dressing room, you slip into the dress. It fits you like a glove, accentuating your curves in all the right places. It strikes the perfect balance between revealing enough to be alluring but modest enough to make you feel comfortable. Now, it's time for the tricky part – showing it off to Rin.

You have a habit of enthusiastically displaying your fashion finds to him, but he has an equally strong tendency to, well, get handsy and maybe a little too eager. Despite this, you gather your courage and exit the dressing room. With a playful twirl, you put on a show for Rin, hoping he'll appreciate your choice without, well, ripping it off you prematurely.

"So, what do you think?" you ask, a radiant smile gracing your lips, eager for Rin's response. Surprisingly, Rin remains silent for a moment, and a pang of disappointment begins to well up within you. Feeling a bit disheartened, you start to turn away, but just as you pivot, he seizes you and pulls you close. In a passionate kiss that lingers along your neck, he murmurs, "God, why are you so fuckin sexy?"

His hands start to explore your body, igniting a desire within you that's difficult to ignore. You wouldn't mind indulging in a little action, but you both know time isn't on your side. You summon the willpower to gently slap his wandering hand away and retreat back to the dressing room. However, before you disappear, you blow him a quick, teasing kiss.

Now that you've secured your evening outfit, the two of you head back home. Once you're there, you hurry to the bathroom, eager to don your chosen ensemble and craft your makeup look.

After about a 1 hour and half you finish your look and step out side where you see Rin dressed all nice in I wonderful blue suit that match him perfectly lucky your dress fits well with his outfit. Walking up to him you pull him down to you height and places a soft kiss on his lips before saying “Ready to go” giving you a quick the nodded the two of you walk out the house and making your way to the party

Once your their you look around your eyes widening as you saw the building it look more like a hotel or a well renowned businesses agency then it did a party spot . Not giving you much time to take it all in Rin comes over and opens the door for you while offering his arm, the two of you walk in and are immediately greeted by Isagi and Bachira this were about the only two people Rin keep up with after blue lock.

Waiting to give your boyfriend some time and space to catch up with his friends you head over to a little booth we’re you see a large group of girl who look be either girlfriends or sisters of the former blue lock boys. You sit yourself down and listen in on what’s they we’re talking about, it was most just the normal conversation of how hot their boyfriends were how they brothers could beat anyone. You decided not to join in knowing that someone comment might set you off completely.

Finally you spot Isagi and Bachira girlfriends the three got to know each other pretty well since your boyfriend and pretty much inseparable on the field . Getting up from your sit you make you way over to the girls who were at the bar taking a couple shots once their you say with a exited tone “Hey girls” they both turn to you and they eye immediately widened. Getting up form their sit they run over to you and give you a warm hug before saying “Damn girl you look good as fuck, surprise Rin let you out the house looking like this” You let a little chuckle before replying “Same goes to the two of you, I know it was hard to get out the house” the girls then look at each other then back at you before giving a nod.

Not long after that the three of you head back over to the bar and throw a couple shot back everything was going good you guys would hit the dance floor and not and then come back and sit down because someone feet were hurting or they were thirsty. Finally you guys had enough of the dance for a hit up a empty booth once their the three of you caught up of what’s new in each others life while spilling tea about what’s going on in the soccer world. It was then that a blonde haired and a couple of his friends came up to you guys and began hitting on you.

“You girls look lonely why don’t y’all come with us” one of the guys says he places his hand y’all table while licking lips. You just look up from your phone and roll eyes thinking that they would take the hint and leave but of course they didn’t so they take a seats beside you guys trying to start up conversation but you guys weren’t having it so you say “ Can you see get the hell away from use, we’re not interested in hanging out with you” but it’s like everything you said went in one hear and out the other as he wraps his arms your neck.

Lucky for you Rin, Isagi and Bachira had finished up their conversation and had come longing for you guys. Rin’s face when he saw some other guys that wasn’t him touching you was something to be remembered, he stormed over to you and pull the guy up from the chair. “What the hell do you think your doing with my girl” Rin said his eyes full with a murderous attempt but apparently the guy must have been a masochist cause he continued to push Rin’s buttons “I was just showing her what’s it’s like to have a real man by her side” he guy said before get the wind punched out of his lungs.

Rin started to beat the shit out of the guy until his hands had blood on them finally after Isagi and Bachira pulled him off the guy did Rin quit beat the man not wasting any more time he went over to you and grab you by the wrist pulling out side of the building. Soon enough the to of you make it to Rin’s car we’re you both sit in silence until you look around looking for something to clean the blood of with

Finding some napkins you grab Rin’s hands and start cleaning them off while giving him a could talking to. “Rin what the hell were you thinking beating that guy like that what about your soccer career” you say with a upset tone you were happy he fought but he can’t just go out beating people up. Rin the mumbles something that you can’t hearing pissing you off even more “Fine if your going be a jerk then you can wipe the blood off your own hand” you say as you throw the napkin at him.

He doesn’t say anything he just takes the napkin and begins to wipe his own hands while you seat and pout. A couple more minutes go by and Rin finally says something “I’m sorry, you were right I shouldn’t have beaten that guy that badly even though he deserved it” you look over at him before grabbing his cheek and pulling to kiss “You know that’s not why I’m mad I’m mad because you but your dreams on the line for one dick head even if you looked sexy while doing” you say as you kiss him again this time making it last longer then before.

“You know you could give me a treat for being such a god boyfriend” Rin says licking his lips you look at him and roll your eyes before saying Fine, but just a quickie we don’t want be get worried”

｡☆✼★━ Smut Time ━★✼☆｡

You laid in the back seat of the car naked while your boyfriend was on top of you fully dressed, his knee spreading your legs out and rubbing right against your wetting cunt causing you to throw back your head in frustration. But Rin doesn’t let you think before he crashes his lips into your swirling his hot tongue around yours back hard for the both of you to breathe.

You both pull away and watch as the string of saliva connecting your snaps with that Rin starts to trail hot kisses down your body not stopping until he reached you wet cunt not wanting anymore time Rin started to places kiss across you puffy lips finally using his rough clauses thumb he spread your cute cunt apart before spitting on it, using his other hand he slides his spit up and down your cunt mixing it slowly with your juices once he thought you were good and wet he began to lick long hot laps across your folds.

“Fuvk Rin right there ” you moaned out as you gripped on to his raven hair and pushed him farther into your cunt.

Yet Rin didn’t mind. He loved when gripped his hair and tried to ride his face and normally he would let you put tonight was a little different. Wasting no time Rin used his hand to bring down a hard slap to your ass causing you to grip on to his hair tighter. “Did I tell you, you could ride my face sweetheart” Rin says as his tongue teases at your hole causing you to try to close your legs which only made Rin more angry “I didn’t tell you to close your legs either” Rin says this time slapping your ass harder than before.

"M'mm sorry Rin, just please keep going, I'm so close," you squirm, trying to get any be of frustration you can, deciding to give what you want Rin grabs you by the hips and pulls you in to him closer so you can't squirm why he laps up all your juices and pushes his tongue deep into your hole causing your eyes to roll back into your head. "Rin right there, don't stop," you try to add, but your words come out as a moanisg slur.

"I'm cumming," you chant as you rock your hips into Rin's tongue, but Rin abruptly stops. causing you to look at him with a wtf face expression, to which he quickly answered "The only thing you’re allowed to cum on is my cock" Rin says as he pulls down his pants and boxers, allowing his cock to jump free. His tip was glowing red and oozing with percum, and he wasted no time in aligning his cock with your wet openings and shoving his throbbing cock within, without allowing you to adjust to his size before ramming into your sloppy, wet cunt. You began crying because you felt him within you.

“God you feel so fuckin good sweetheart, so so fuckin good” Rin growls out as as he pushes your hips up and down slowly your warm cunt tighting harder around his thick cock as his hips thrust up to meet you half way. Rin could feel his cock harden his balls tighten but the only thing he could really focus on was your gummy wall and how they felt around him.

“I can’t wait to use this cunt that was just made for me, can’t wait to fill it up with my kids, can’t wait to breed it over and over again” He muttered between clenched teeth, trying his best not cum inside you just yet. His thrust became slow and deep making sure you were feeling just as good as him hit all your shots right stops with his hard cock. His eyes narrowing slightly as his grip on your hips got tighter, pushing you faster up and down his dick as your tight walls gripped him, a mix of your cream and his cum coating his length, making a ring on the base of it.

"Fuck- sweetheart , I’m going cum in you." He groans.”Want to fill you up so good and make you have my babies.”

Rin’s eyes roll to the back of his head as you give him a nod because you were to fucked out to speak , groaning and grunting as he begins to thrust harder and deeper into you, his gloved hands pulling your hips all the way down so his cock is completely inside you as his thick, warm cum fills your womb up.

"Fuck yes," you scream as your nails dig into Rin's clothed back, bringing down both of your highs. You two kissed one another that time, and before cuddling, you collected your air. Soon after, you two get ready to go back in, but just as you're about to put your pants on, Rin stops you and inserts a cute egg vibrator inside you, causing your gummy overstim cunt to clamp down around the toy. "Rin what the hell," you yell, grabbing on to run as the vibration of the toy weakens your leg. Rin simply looks at you before responding, "We don't want any of my cum to leak out now, do we?"

And with that, you two walk back inside, clamping your legs together and trying not to make any strange noises while the girls ask you if you're okay. "Hey, what's wrong with your girlfriend Rin, she's walking funny," Isagi says, with Bachira following right behind. "Yeah, it looks like something got into her or something," Rin replies, with a devilish grin painted across his face, before walking away and playing with his new favorite toy.

Kinktober still open so get in your request in before it’s closed. Link

[kookslastbutton]

Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m)┃ch. IV

✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.

Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader

AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 4,174

Warnings: 8-year age gap, professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), jungkook snaps, lots of family drama, mommy issues, oc being accommodating, fighting, pent-up issues/desires, jk has daddy issues but trying to be good hubby, jk gives oc more hope!

Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+

A/N: this week's flashback hint–nothing like a little dilf rivalry! Also, this chapter gives more of a reason why jk is adverse to parenthood 😶 My closing notes offer some explanations. Let's go! 💞

<< ch. III ༓ ch. V >> | series masterlist

For the first 22 years of your life, you had zero partners.

Most people labeled you as being jaded, stuck up, or having too high of standards for it. But fuck it. Why couldn’t anyone accept that you weren’t about to settle down with the first interested guy just 'cause of peer pressure?

Of course, you'd likely end up with someone eventually. You have gone out on a couple of dates before. Yet they were never that promising. The men, or excuse you, boys roughly your age did nothing to woo you. They just wanted a late-night fuck at 1 a.m. or a nice, cute girl to take home to their mom.

Not that you gave a hell what others were into or anything, but you had other agendas. Getting married and birthing children before kick-starting your adult life was not in your playbook. Neither was jumping into bed with random guys every week.

So you haven't had much luck in the romance department. Good riddance to it!

What you were waiting for was a gentleman. Someone that was responsible, mature, and experienced. Bonus points if they were into the arts. But it was rare to find a suitor of such quality–who wasn't ridiculously off-limits that is. Obviously, some other strong-willed man or woman sunk their claws in before you got the chance. Drats.

4 years ago

“I can’t believe you,” your best friend giggles. “You’re going to that fancy new art exhibit downtown just to run into Dr. Kim! You’re so shameless __.”

You roll your eyes and stick your plate in the dishwasher. You’re best friend Na-Rae has been one of your closest friends since your second year of undergrad. Now into your third year of friendship, you consider her as close as a sister.

Unlike you, Na-Rae is utterly fascinated with all things STEM-related. She’s currently in med school aiming to become a surgeon, which is one of the many reasons why you and her are currently roommates.

“I’m telling you one more time, I’m not going for him. I actually want to see the paintings which should come as no surprise to you. Dr. Kim just happens to be going too.”

Na-Rae leans against the kitchen island, tongue in cheek. “If that’s what you wanna tell yourself, babe. But how, may I ask, did you know he’d be there? Are you stalking him online now?”

“Of course not. I’m not a creep Na-Rae.” You throw her a dirty look. Honestly, she really thinks you’re some obsessed fangirl. Like yes, Dr. Kim is really hot for an older guy, and the fact that he’s basically the second dean of the art department? He may or may not visit you in your dreams. Especially after studying for Dr. Jeon’s fifteen million econ exams.

Now there’s a guy who definitely knows how to stick it to you.

“Besides,” you continue. “Dr. Kim doesn’t have social media.” You don’t notice how contradictory that statement sounds until your best friend lets out a sinister cackle.

“Looked him up did you?” She hits your arm, wiggling her eyebrows tauntingly. “I knew it! I knew you were stalking him!”

“I–I am not! Stop that!” You ignore her looks, seeing it best to avoid eye contact altogether.

"Iovmererdhimalkingintheallway."

"C'mon, you know I can't understand that. You did what?"

"I over…heardhimalkingintheallway," you repeat, skirting most of the sentence again.

"For the love of might __! Why are you being so–"

"I overheard him talking in the hallway!" Once you blurt the words out you scurry out of the kitchen. "Gotta get my laundry, bye!"

"Uh-__!" Na-Rae races to catch up to you. "Explain to me how that's not being stalkerish!"

You grab your laundry basket and set it next to the dryer. "It wasn't intentional alright? I happened to be passing by at the right moment." You pop the door open, stuffing your clothes in the basket. Na-Rae casually watches you from the doorway.

"Right," she says. "Just happened to overhear Dr. Kim's whereabouts on a Friday night and just happen to be going to the same place. But definitely not planned because the dress you're currently trying to hide from me isn't meant for him to coincidentally see. Oops, my bad."

You release said dress from your hand aggressively. "Dr. Kim is at least a decade older than me and he's a high-level faculty member of the university. I'm not seriously trying to present myself to him in any romantic sense. That would be so inappropriate! And as far as the dress goes, it's the grand opening tonight. Everyone's wearing these kinds of things. So no, you're wrong."

"Very well, if the lady persists," Na-Rae shrugs, checking her phone. "Shoot, I gotta get to work in fifteen but I expect a full report later!" You watch as she hustles to her room.

.

The exhibit's doors open at 7 pm sharp. The line to the entrance runs about three blocks which is far longer than you were expecting. Most people came in groups or pairs, making you wish Na-Rae didn't have to work tonight.

But you're right about this being a formal affair. Everyone is dressed to kill. Some lean more towards black tie while others choose to show off their highly expressive, avant-garde nature.

You look down at yourself, suddenly feeling quite underdressed. You're wearing a simple black dress that's cinched at the waist. If one were to look close enough they'd see hints of gold throughout but no one would get that close.

The artwork itself is stunning. Varying from abstraction to impressionism, you get a sense of pleasure in taking in others’ inspiration. Many of these works are from locals in the area which is one of the main reasons for the number of interested guests. You wonder if anyone here knows the artists directly.

You make your way to the next set of pieces, studying the first in line. You immediately recognize the particular style as post-impressionism. It's clear the artist has great influence by Van Gogh evident from the similar large yet controlled strokes.

As you continue observing the work you feel a second body, looming close beside you. Naturally, you shift your eyes over to see the source. His hair brushes past his face as he leans closer to the painting.

After about three seconds you quickly dart your eyes away, careful not to stare. The man appears to be equally as focused on the work in front of him, as you were. It'd be a bit embarrassing if he noticed your gaze and snapped at you for it.

The man next to you slowly straightens his bent-over posture. He moves to the other side of you, viewing the next painting on your right. You barely catch the slight glance he gives you in the process, now able to see his full face.

It's not Dr. Kim–it's Dr. Jeon.

This isn't weird, you try convincing yourself. It's perfectly normal for you to see your professor in public. Besides, who knows if he actually recognized you yet. No need to make this awkward if you simply pretend not to notice him.

You think about whether to sneakily slip away or continue to feign ignorance until…

"Are we going to keep side-eyeing each other or can I say hi?" Dr. Jeon lightly smiles at you with playful eyes. His glasses are different today–thinner design. And oh, is that a...lip ring? Is that new or has he always had it? You don't remember seeing it before. "If you keep staring at my lips like that I might get shy."

"Ahha, Dr. Jeon!" You fight the stirring of your nerves. "Hi! Sorry, I didn't mean to stare or anything. I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Please, __. Outside of class, Jungkook is fine. Though I understand if that's a little out of place for you."

A little?! You've been calling Dr. Jeon, well, Dr. Jeon for the past two weeks. It's unlikely that will change. "If it's alright with you," you start, hands restless. "I'd like to stick with the usual."

Jungkook nods, giving you a brief once-over before replying. "Sure, no problem. I'm hoping you'll warm up to the idea though. Dr. Jeon makes me feel old." He lets out a throaty chuckle. "I'd ask what brings you to this art exhibit but I think I have the answer, given the amount of sketches I see you doing while I'm lecturing."

Oh god. Your professor calling you out for both gawking at his lips and doodling in class under the span of five minutes? You've never wanted to disappear more. The sketches you do aren't meant to look like a distraction and honestly, you didn't mean to gawk at the tiny ring, it was just there!

"Sorry," he continues. "That wasn't intended to be passive-aggressive. I really don't mind as long as they don't hinder your learning. Dr. Kim does the same thing whenever I'm talking to him too. I've summed it up to an itch all you artists have. I've come here in support of him actually." He gestures to the collection of paintings next to you; the post-impressionism ones you were intent on studying earlier.

"Oh wow," you gasp stupidly, following his gesture. You didn't even clue in to read the artist's name.

Stigma by Kim Taehyung.

"I had no idea Dr. Kim had some of his work displayed here. I feel so foolish. I was viewing his pieces for I don't know how long just a few minutes ago."

You were sure Dr. Kim was attending the exhibit for the same reasons as you. But while it was partially right, you obviously missed the biggest point.

"Don't fret," a deep, honey-coated voice comes from nowhere. "Any admirer of my work is a friend of mine." He strolls up to your left, Jungkook still on your right. "I don't believe we've met yet. Dr. Kim Taehyung." He tosses a hand out for you to shake.

Oh no, no no no. You hope to death you won't start sweating. You've never been this close to Kim Taehyung before and he wants you to hold his hand! "Pleasure to meet you Dr. Kim. I'm __," you say, struggling not to burst inside.

Okay, so it's not exactly holding hands but it's close enough. His fingers are so long and elegant. You can't wipe the grin off your face.

You're squeezing it now, stop stop stop. You mentally slap yourself and retract your hand as naturally as you can. Thank fuck no one can read your mind.

"I'm sorry your name is __?" Dr. Kim freezes as if suddenly needing to remember something. When you think he's recalled whatever it is he needs, he flicks his head over to Jungkook with a twinkle in his eye. "__," he repeats aloud.

"Uhm, yes..." You're definitely missing something. You look between the two men, apparently both intent on keeping you in omnious silence. What's so facinating about your name?

Taehyung whips his head back to face you, flashing a blinding grin. "You're the little artist in Jungkook's class aren't you?"

That's what this is about? He looks far too proud of himself for connecting those dots.

"Yeah I take ECON 602 with Dr. Jeon." You make the mistake of looking at Jungkook mid-sentence. For some odd reason, his previous mirthful expression has changed to one of bitter distaste.

"She isn't little," Jungkook intrudes, nearly snapping at the older man. "Little is what you call a child and it's inappropriate for you to call her that."

What the hell....? How is Dr. Kim calling you little bothering your professor more than you?

"My apologies," Taehyung says. "But she's your student, right? The one drawing during your lectures? I think she drew you once. Exquisite may I add. You captured his pissed-off look so well." He gives you a pleased look but you're too sheepish to form a reply.

"Yes, I wasn't having the best day. Can I talk to you a moment Dr. Kim? We'll be right back __, just a second." Jungkook grabs the older's arm, yanking him out of your earshot.

"What the hell are you doing, Taehyung?" Jungkook spits. "You're making my student uncomfortable."

"Aha, so she is the artist. Look I admit that using the term little was a misstep but I think she's alright. I apologized didn't I?"

"Yeah sure, but she's not alright." He makes air quotes. "Since you've also made it seem like anything she does in my class, I spill to you! Don't you see how uneasy that would make someone feel? Especially me being her professor. She could be thinking I tell you weird things too! See what you've done?!"

"But Jungkook," Taehyung drawls, face scrunching. He's not sure what's gotten Jungkook so worked up. "You do in fact regurgitate everything to me. You've been talking about her for the last week just to one-up me that she's an artist. Now I get to have a face to the name. I'm kinda tickled about it but also, what weird things are you referring to?" Taehyung pauses, eyes going as big as a saucer. "Oh my god, bro. Are you–"

Jungkook grunts firmly, shutting the man up at once. "Absolutely not Tae. Whatever you were about to say, it couldn't be a bigger no. All I'm asking is for you to keep the private things private. I don't want you blubbering everything to her."

"Very well," Taehyung hums, stealing a glance at you behind Jungkook's shoulder. From where he stood, he had an easy view of you moving down the line of paintings. You stop in front of each one, curiously examining them the best you can. "However, she's quite intriguing. I can't make any promises that I'll hold myself back."

"You better be talking about her mutual interest in art. She's my student and we have an obligation through the university not to fraternize with any–"

"Yes yes, your student. I don't need a reminder of where my boundaries are, but perhaps you do....bringing up fraternizing and all." Taehyung moves past Jungkook, striding back over to you. "Whatever else can there be besides professional or academic affairs? Of course, we're keeping our witts about us Kookie."

Behind him, Jungkook huffs and follows his lead. Then wipe that stupid smirk off your face, he thinks.

Present

Dinner is rough.

Jungkook's parents showing up unannounced and uninvited throws you both in a very quick, downward spiral. How can two people have so much time on their hands? Retirement, that's how.

You try your hardest to keep the conversation light throughout dinner, but it's obvious the air has grown thick between your husband and his mother.

"Why didn't you come to the reunion last year?" your mother-in-law presses for the second time tonight. She clutches the napkin in her hand, anxious for his response.

Jungkook sits across the table. His posture stiffens at the question. "I'm sorry, I had a lot to do. The reunion is always so close to when I have to go back to the university that I just didn't have the time."

A loud, impatient sigh comes from back across the table. "You didn't have the time or didn't make it? Honesty Jungkook, you expect me to believe that?"

When Jungkook doesn't answer, you and your father-in-law exchange troublesome looks. "Honey," Mr. Jeon speaks up, placing a hand on her shaky one. "You know how full the school year is for Jungkook. Don't blame him. Maybe he can come this year if we reschedule for a more convenient time." He pleads with his son, hopeful eyes.

"Stop helping him." She looks at Mr. Jeon and then back to Jungkook. "I don't think I'm asking for a lot. I just want you there, you and __."

At that, you find yourself gripping your husband's arm from under the table. Jungkook shifts in his seat and stares dead straight into his mother's eyes. "Funny you say that," he seethes. You tug on his arm in desperation to calm him. "Seeing that you keep dropping by at random times throughout the year, I'd say you expect a great deal from us."

Mrs. Jeon immediately snatches her hand from your father-in-law's. "Maybe I wouldn't have to if you'd come to the reunion. Or called, texted, or even emailed at this point. If it weren't for my efforts, I wouldn't hear from you at all."

"Please," Mr. Jeon pleads again, this time to both parties. "We're having dinner. Let's continue this later." He reaches for the bowl in the middle of the table but he's quickly ignored.

"You're right." Jungkook cuts. "Maybe I should come. Because it's one more way you can get what you want, isn't it? All those years of hard work so you can show me off to everyone."

"Don't you talk to me like that," Mrs. Jeon grits. "If I wanted to show you off it'll be when you give me a grandchild! I'm lucky to even have a daughter-in-law by now."

Chair legs scrape against the hardwood floor and your arm snakes out from Jungkook's arm. Your husband stands at the table, Mr. Jeon follows suit. "Okay, okay, let's just–"

"Dad," Jungkook interrupts. "Can you please take Mom home for the night?"

"Are you okay?" you pop the question once your in-laws leave for the night, a queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Mrs. Jeon looked completely bewildered, whereas Mr. Jeon looked deeply troubled; conflicted between wife and son. You have a feeling he has a better understanding of what happened than you do right now.

"I wish she hadn't come today," Jungkook plops on the bed. You sit beside him. "I'm sorry about what she said about you....I knew she was here for something."

You won't lie. When Mrs. Jeon mentioned being lucky to finally have a daughter-in-law, it stung. You detest being seen as an achievement. "I'm sure she didn't mean it like that since she said it out of impulse. It was a tense moment," you say. "As far as what she was getting at though, it was for you to go to the reunion."

"No." He shakes his head and then glances at you. "It's not about the reunion. She only wants me to go so she can show everyone how smart and successful her son has become–all her doing of course. It's been like that since high school. And she wants you to go for a similar reason."

"I knew your mom had a bit of a thing for status but I thought that mostly revolved around her profession. Also, when she was talking earlier about you not keeping in touch she seemed more hurt and sad than mad. I think she really just wants you there."

"If she seemed hurt it's because she didn't get her way," Jungkook says, nonchalant.

"Jungkook."

"I'm sorry but it's true" He adjusts his position, angling himself to face you. "Mom's used to calling the shots– at work, at home, even with our neighbors growing up. You've seen how dad is around her. Yeah, he pushes back a little but at the end of the day, he does what's asked of him."

Frightened to ask the next question, you swallow hard. "What aren't you telling me Jungkook?"

He gently takes your hand from your lap, rubbing small circles on the knuckles. "Growing up, she was hardly around or involved in my brother and I's life. Most weeks, she and Dad would be at work, and we'd be with a babysitter or nanny. Dad did what he could to take care of us but Mom? All she would do is prune us to be just like her...smart, successful, and a dash more to make up for all the achievements she couldn't make."

"Jungkook...I don't know what to say," you murmur, trying to take everything in. "But your PhD–"

"My decision but her influence. Though she wasn't pleased when I said I'd be relocating ten hours away."

You remember him telling you this part before. His mother had a hard time coping with his reluctance to stay nearby. Maybe she did want him to follow in her footsteps. "Your brother didn't have as much pressure on him did he?"

"He did, but he still bends to her will. Except for the grandchildren part." Jungkook grimaces, averting eye contact. "I guess we have that in common."

"Hey," you urge him to lift his head. "Please don't feel bad about telling me any of this. If your picture of parents has largely been their absence and desire for self-fulfillment, then I understand your grounds for not wanting children. And as far as tonight with your mom, I'm so sorry. I feel like it's partially my fault for agreeing to host them for two days."

A pair of soft eyes rest on you in the dim room. The sun was near set now and all the light previously shining into the room had come from the window. If this wasn't a serious moment you might take a candid shot of your husband.

"You're the best thing that's happened to me __," Jungkook coos. "Don't ever think your kindness is a fault." He pauses then continues. "I still want both my parents in my life but I need to draw boundaries or I will completely snap and that's not something I want to happen. Especially since we have a possible baby to make one day."

"Hu–huh?" It's the repetition of the last sentence that makes you utterly dumbfounded.

Baby? Baby with Jungkook. One day?

Your husband draws his hand up to barely caress your cheek. "Why does that always seem to stop your heart?"

You catch his wrist mid-movement and throw yourself into him. Your arms link around his neck, chest flat against his. "It doesn't stop my heart," you say, playing with his hair. "It makes it beat faster."

"Wow." Your husband hugs you closer. "So cheesy." He leans back after, pressing a soft kiss to yours.

The two of you continue making out like teenagers again; Jungkook tumbling on his back.

"Kook." You lay on top of him, straddling his sides. "Have you ever thought about seriously talking to your mom about you know, everything you told me?"

Jungkook hums, before answering. "Somewhat but, I'm not sure how that'll go."

"It might be worth it instead of having little pieces slip out when you get into conflict...like tonight for instance."

"I suppose it's not a far-fetched idea. I'll consider it but it might take some more time. For now, I think I'll start by calling her tomorrow. I'm still mad but I don't wanna leave things the way they are now. Plus, I'm sure they don't have plans to go back home early. I'd hate for them to stay in the hotel the rest of these two days."

"Sounds like a plan," you say, snuggling into the crook of his neck.

"Mom." Jungkook holds the phone to his ear. "What are you and Dad doing today?"

"Oh, I–," his mom stutters from the other end. "We're not up to too much. I think your dad wants to swing by some bookstore around town. Uh, what about you?"

"__ at work and I'm home by myself. Are you hungry? I thought maybe we could go out for brunch."

Jungkook hears his mom's tone lift. "Are you sure? I mean that would be lovely but if there are things you need to do then we don't want to...impose."

Mrs. Jeon's sudden willingness to check in is unexpected. Jungkook still senses traces of guilt but at least she's making somewhat of an effort.

"It's my treat," he assures, a little shaky. "I'm sorry about yesterday, mom. Maybe we can talk about it more in person."

"I think that would be good," she agrees simply. "Where and what time do you want to meet up?"

"Drive over here in twenty minutes. We can pile in my car and head over."

Once finally agreed, Jungkook ends the call. He opens his messages and shoots you a text.

Jungkook: Well I did it  😬 [sent at 10:42 a.m]

__: Proud of you ❤️ if anything happens, call me. [sent at 10:44 a.m]

Jungkook: I will. Also, sorry to bring it up but I gotta give Yoongi hyung an answer by tomorrow. Are we babysitting his twins Saturday? [sent at 10:47 a.m]

__: Ahm, it'll likely be the evening, right? [sent at 10:48 a.m]

Jungkook: Probably [sent at 10:49 a.m]

__: I guess, sure. We're going to need to put some stuff away though 😅 And get something fun for them to do! [sent by 10:51 a.m]

Jungkook: Noted but I'm sure they'll bring lots to do. Yoongi hyung is a big sofie for his girls. He buys them everything–literally 🫠 [sent at 10:52 a.m]

__: True. I have to get back to work now but love you xoxo [sent at 10:53 a.m]

A/N: Surprise! jk has mommy issues and they've has been triggered. Was hoping how he talked, thought, & acted towards her in the last chapter gave hints. On the brighter side, jungkook is another step closer to babyville! And next flashback will be something exciting! Lmk if you wanna be tagged or have thoughts in comments or asks! 💞

Masterlist

Taglist:

@frieschan @oldermenluverrr @tatamicc @kookswifesblog @llallaaa @sunnybyeol @namtaeh @exactlygreatcoffee @whipwhoops @yoongisducky @ktnj91 @junecat18 @thvlover7 @yoongiworshiper @ellesalazar @monbebe234-blog @parkinglot-nights @borahaexoxo @hobiswhore @kimseokjinbangtan @jjk97091 @mk-id @blueberry711 @givemethemaknaes16 @iammartian07 @jjkluver7 @itsdingdong @jiminshi20 @sweet-sourhotcoco @lovingkoalaface @starsinsky1999 @rockstarrgyu @chaconnelatte @lubtou

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[hangmanssunnies]

Double Tap

House We Share: Double Tap, Sfumato, Good Comes In 3

Summary: You were hesitant when your friends told you about their other friend who needed a roommate. Living with a man, let alone a Naval aviator, isn't your ideal living situation. However, you are desperate to get out of your current house. So, you will have to suck it up and make a deal with Jake "Hangman" Seresin. Now you just wish he would stop doing things that make you fall in love with him.

Pairings: Jake "Hangman Seresin x Fem! Civilian! Reader, minor Javy "Coyote" Machado x OC

Word count: 19k

AO3 LINK

Warnings: Abuse (Implied and mentioned), confrontation with Abuser, Child abuse (mentioned), Slow burn, Implied calorie counting, routines and compulsions, Jigsaw puzzles, taxes, Neurodivergent coded! Hangman, Fiscally responsible!Hangman, Protective!Hangman. Please let me know if I missed any for this part, I know it is a long one.

Authors Note: This got so completely out of hand. It started as one scene and then grew a mind of its own. Part two is written, just not edited, I'm planning on having that done later this week. Hangman Coyote BFF supremacy.  I apologize for writing the most hyper-specific!Jake you have probably ever read. 85% of his personality is just things I find attractive in men.

Thank you so much if you take a chance to read this work. I hope you enjoy it. My inbox is always open if you want to let me know your thoughts. Reblogs with your thoughts, opinions, and tags are gold to me. I love reading through them.

You had been at your friend Marlee's house for almost an hour before she couldn't stop herself from confronting you. She had at least let you get settled and offered you a drink while pretending to be distracted by the lasagna she was making. She had spun towards you expectantly when it was in the oven, having reached her limit on waiting. 

"What happened?" Marlee asks. 

"It's nothing." You respond. 

"It is something. I don't want to reread your texts back to you, babes."

"Marls," you sigh, briefly closing your eyes, trying to fight the exhaustion you feel. 

"You can't live there anymore. We need to get you out."

"Yeah, let me just move and find a place to live. It's not that easy, Marlee." 

She sighs heavily. "I know, babes, but at least stay here with Javy and me. If he touches you like that again."

"It was just a one-time thing," you quickly cut her off. But, from the pitying look in her eyes, she knows it hasn't been just this one time. 

"If something happened."

"Nothing is going to happen." Marlee was too bright and too good of a friend. She knew something had already happened, and she knew things had been happening. Her frown and eyebrow raise say it all. 

"I can't just crash here," you say. 

"You are always, always welcome."

"You are," a voice pops up, and you both look over to the couch. You thought Marlee's husband, Javy, was thoroughly invested in the game he was playing on his Xbox, but it turns out he had an ear on your conversation. 

It wasn't something that bothered you. You loved Javy, he had been an excellent partner to Marlee, and you considered him a friend. He was fun and easygoing, something you hadn't expected from a Navy man. You also weren't bothered because everyone knew they were the type of couple that told each other absolutely everything. So, Javy would have found out one way or another.

"I know that. Thanks, you two." You tell them, trying to get them off your back. 

"Marlee is right. We can't have anything happening to you."

"Nothing is going to happen to me, Javy," you say, now trying to reassure them and stop this unnecessary worrying. 

"You know. I have a friend who has actually been looking for a roommate." Javy says. 

"You do?" you ask, surprised you hadn't heard about this sooner. 

"Yeah, I mean, he can be a lot. But he is a good guy and a great roommate."

"Who ?" Marlee cuts in. 

"Jake."

"Hangman?"

"Yeah, Hangman." The two of them stare at each other, and you can see that they are having one of those conversations of glances and small expressions you weren't entirely privy to understanding. 

Marlee then shrugs, nodding, and looks back at you, "It would be a nice safe place." 

"I mean, it's an option and would be a nicer place to stay than anything else you'll find. Plus, someone who is not a total stranger as a roommate." Javy tells you. He pulls off his headset and makes his way to the kitchen. He sets his hand on your shoulder and gives you a kind smile. 

"I'm not sure about living with a man."

"If you don't want to live with Jake or you aren't interested, we will find somewhere else. Or you stay here with us, but you can't stay there anymore." The seriousness behind Javy's smile isn't lost on you. So you start to slowly nod. 

"I guess I could at least chat with your friend if y'all think it's a decent option." 

"Yeah, for sure," Javy said with a grin. "I'll ask him about it, then maybe y'all can meet this weekend. We are still having a big bonfire on the beach. I'm sure he will be there."

"Oh, I wasn't planning on going to the bonfire." You start to say, which makes both Javy and Marlee frown.

"Why aren't you coming to the bonfire?"

You tried to think of a valid excuse beyond that being in open public spaces was terrifying to you right now. An excuse past the fact that you knew your bruises wouldn't be gone by Saturday. 

"I've just been stressed about finding a place to live, you know." You gave them both a weak smile, but neither of your friends seemed appeased. 

"Well, now you have a reason to come," Marlee says. 

"Yeah, exactly, and I'll talk to Jake." Javy presses a kiss to your forehead and then a lingering one to Marlee's lips. He returns to the couch, but not before looking at you seriously. "You know if you ever need anything, you call us?"

"Sir, yes sir," you tell him with a laugh, making Marlee giggle too. 

Even with Javy's reassurances, you are unsure about this whole idea. However, whoever this friend Jake is, you know he had to be better than your current living situation. After dinner, Marlee and Javy both reiterate their feelings on the whole issue before you leave their house. You did your best to wave them off and tell them you would see them in a few days.  

When Saturday rolls around, you head to the pin Marlee sent you for the bonfire. You are thankful it is a cooler day and will only be colder once the sun sets. It allows you to not look so out of place in your conservative clothes, ensuring all your bruises are covered. 

You arrive purposefully late and park far from the beach. By the time you make it to the group of people, you have sufficiently hyped yourself up to interact with the others. You decide to ease yourself into the party. You walk around the different coolers, opening them and investigating the available drink options. 

You are in the middle of shuffling through one when you hear a voice behind you.

"Anything specific I can help you find, sweetheart?" You turn around and are met with one of the most attractive men you have ever met. He is tall, with dirty blonde hair and a pair of sunglasses perched on his nose. 

"I'm just browsing," You tell the man with a shrug, proud of yourself for being able to put together a sentence. 

"I think I know what would be perfect for you, sweetheart.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," He says, flashing you a grin. His smile makes something in your stomach swoop a tiny bit. 

"And, what would that be?" you say, raising an eyebrow. 

"Me, of course."

You can't help the shocked laugh that falls out of your throat. Which just makes his handsome smile widen. 

"I was thinking something a bit stronger, actually."

"I know I look like a tall glass of water but let me tell you, I won't disappoint you."  

"Well, looks certainly can be deceptive."

"That's true. Are you really as sweet as you look?" 

Before you can answer, you hear Javy's voice to your right. "Oh good, you two already met." 

You turn your head to see Javy jogging over. He stops next to you with a smile on his face. You process his words and feel your stomach drop. The incredibly handsome man you were trying to flirt with was Javy's friend. Javy's friend he thought you could live with. 

"There haven't been any formal introductions," you say. 

"Jake Seresin," he says. He sticks out his hand, waiting for you to shake it. You take his hand, give it a firm shake, and share your name. He repeated it softly, giving your hand an extra squeeze before letting go. 

"Javy said you are looking to move," Jake says casually. Your voice seems stuck in your throat. You examine Jake's handsome face again and know you can't do this.

"Yeah, she is. Soon, too." Javy says after you haven't said anything leaving an awkward pause. 

"I have lots of space."

"Oh well, you know." You say, trying to figure out what to say by saying nothing at all. Jake nods along with you, but his eyebrows pull close together while his eyes narrow. 

"Plus, Jake is really clean," Javy adds. 

"That is good to know. Maybe Jake and I can talk about it later?" You say, giving both of them a smile. You turn back to the coolers and grab the first drink you see. 

"Yeah, we can talk about it later. Javy owes me a spike ball game anyways," Jake says. He flashes you another smile while grabbing a High Noon out of the cooler, gesturing for Javy to do the same. You leave them to find Marlee and chat with some other people at the party. 

You are considering how to best say goodbye and leave the party while sitting next to the fire later. You stare into the flames hoping they might provide you answers. 

"You would actually be doing me a huge favor by moving in, "Jake says to you casually. You are startled by his sudden presence, and you look over at him, quirking an eyebrow in response.

"Oh really?" 

"Yeah. I haven't had a roommate for a while, and I would prefer someone who isn't in the military. I don't want to bring work and ranks home. You know?"

"Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense," you say, following his line of logic. 

"Also, rent these days is," Jake doesn't finish the sentence, instead just whistling quietly.

"Yeah, rent is expensive," you laugh. You find it much easier to talk to Jake if you don't have to look directly out at him. 

"You don't have to let me know right now, but I don't have any issues with it."

"We haven't talked about it much," you tell him, surprised he had decided so quickly.

"There is this saying that beggars can't be choosers."

"I would want a roommate contract. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that would be fine by me, Sugar."

"Okay, cool, but we should think about it."

"Tonight is a party, and we are supposed to be having fun. Not doing business. So, why don't you text me, and we will hash out the details this week. Plus you can see the place, which you would probably want. Maybe you could move in next weekend if we can work it all out?"

Part of you thought you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, so you decided to text Jake throughout the week to hash out the details. And the next thing you know, Javy, Marlee, and Jake are helping you move your stuff. 

Living with Jake wasn't as hard as you worried it would be. In fact, it was much easier than you were anticipating. Jake led his life with strict regiment and routine. It was something that stretched beyond that he was in the military. 

Jake would wake up in the mornings and go on a run before coming home, making breakfast, showering, and going to work. Then he would come home, change and go to the gym, come home, shower again because he needed to, and then eat dinner. Every night if you were home while he was cooking, Jake would always offer you some. That leads you to find out he is a phenomenal chef. 

Then Jake would read in the large armchair in the living room and half-watch whatever you put on the TV to watch yourself. He only requested to use the TV when one of his sports teams was playing or on Wednesday nights, where he would spend an hour and a half playing Animal Crossing with his niece while they facetime. 

You had told Jake that the TV was his, and he didn't have to ask you to use it. Jake just laughed and shrugged before telling you he wasn't the biggest TV guy. Jake had been telling the truth when he said that. You realized that Jake was more interested in his books. If he wasn't reading a book, he sat silently with one of his sudoku puzzles and country music playing on vinyl. Then Jake would go to bed after whatever chores he deemed he should do. 

It was a strictly followed pattern, only differing on Fridays when he would sometimes go out to a bar with the guys or sometimes Saturdays. However, even on the weekends, he would follow the schedule closely. Regardless if he had gone to the bar, he would still wake up outrageously early in the morning, work out, do chores, and then go to the gym again. Sometimes Jake would venture out of the house to see his friends, but more often than not, he was reading or in the workshop in the garage with some project. 

Marlee had not prepared you for how amazingly hot Jake was. When you moved in, he had been very polite, if a bit curt. Never venturing to flirt with you again like when you first met. As the weeks living with Jake passed, though, he definitely warmed up to you. But still never pushed the roommate line between you. 

You worked hard to push your attraction for Jake to the side or shove it into a safe in the back of your mind. That was a challenging task to accomplish because, just like Javy said, Jake was very clean. It wasn't that he was a clean freak per se, but he was definitely an orderly and well-kept person. Everything in the house had a place it belonged. 

Jake always did his dishes and tidied up after himself in your common areas. He also never leaves any of his laundry waiting around. You had watched in a mix of awe and horror the first time he pulled out clothes from the dryer within five minutes of the machine going off. Then Jake started folding, halfway through the laundry, stoping to pull out an iron and ironing board. 

The sight was all so attractive that you had to excuse yourself upstairs. That was something that you often had to do. Anytime you felt heat build in you towards your roommate, you would quickly excuse yourself. You knew giving into your attraction for Jake in any shape or form would not lead anywhere good. You needed a place to live, and this place you had with Jake was way too good to risk anything. 

Given his career choice, it was not entirely surprising how regimented Jake is. However, what did surprise you was when he started to incorporate you into his routines in small ways. Jake would automatically set out an extra plate for you when cooking, and picks up snacks you like from the store. One day you come home and find a second shoe rack by the door just for you. On the days you had to be up for work, you would find that Jake had already put your morning drink together for you when he returned from the gym and was making his own breakfast. You like the steady rhythm and consistency that living with Hangman provides you. It's seamless and easy to fall into step with him. 

You had been living with Jake for a few months, and things were going really well, almost too well you sometimes felt like it was too good to be true. Your nightmares weren't as frequent. You get full nights sleep and feel comfortable here with Jake. The only times you don't feel content are the times that you think about how hot Jake is. Or when Jake does something that makes it hard not to try and smash your lips against his in a heated, passionate kiss. 

Then one day, you get home from work, and worry suddenly sweeps over you as you glance at your phone and realize what time it is. The house is completely dark and quiet. Jake should have been home several hours ago and on his way to the gym already. In fact, right about now was when he should have been getting home from the gym.  

You resist the urge to call Jake and check that he is okay. You know that action would be overstepping the roommate boundaries that exist clearly between you. You tell yourself it's silly to worry all because he wasn't following the schedule you made up for him in your head. It's not like Jake had ever written down his routine and given it to you. Maybe today was a special anniversary, or maybe he had after-work plans you didn't know about. 

Your worry is eased about twenty minutes later when you hear Jake's truck pull into the driveway, followed by the garage door rumbling open. You find yourself easing further into the couch, some of the tension you weren't wholly conscious of easing out of your body.  

Jake comes in, and you cut your eyes over to see him still in his flight suit. He doesn't say anything to you as he unlaces and kicks off his shoes. He passes you while walking to the stairs and manages a short but gruff hello. Then, without another word, he is gone. You stare after his back in shock. Something is definitely not right with Jake. 

He left his shoes sprawled on the ground by the door. It was not a sight you had ever seen in the house, not even the times Jake had stumbled home drunk and giggly. Jake always pulled off his boots, neatly tucking the laces in and then setting them up on his small shoe rack by the door. 

You get up from the couch and walk over to fix his shoes, tucking in the laces. You tell yourself it is so no one will trip over them, not for any other reason. Then you hear Jake's shower turn on, and the water runs much longer than the twenty-minute showers you are used to him taking. It all feels so odd and out of place. You decide to make some pasta for dinner, convinced Jake is planning on not eating at all with how far he is off his schedule. 

You are just finishing dinner when the water in his bathroom finally shuts off. Then fifteen more minutes later, Jake comes downstairs in a pair of plaid pajama pants and a thread-bare Annapolis shirt. He appears to be looking around downstairs, almost a bit dazed and lost. 

"I made dinner. How about you have some?" You call out to him from the kitchen. Jake follows your voice to the kitchen and looks at the food you have made and dishes up. Hesitantly he sits down at the table. 

"If you don't mind."

"Of course not. I know this may shock you since you normally cook, but I can do it too." 

"I've never thought that you couldn't cook." Jake quickly responds. 

"I know, Jake. I'm just teasing you. Now eat up." 

Jake follows orders and takes a bite of the pasta, letting out a small groan. "So good," he mumbles before taking another bite. 

"Do you want the macros?" You ask him conversationally after eating in silence for a few minutes. 

"Oh. No, thank you. I appreciate you making something and sharing. No need for you to put in extra work. I will be fine not tracking my macros for one meal," Jake says. 

"Okay," you say and give him the kindest smile you can think of. You don't want to push him on why he isn't okay. However, you can't stop yourself from sliding the piece of paper you wrote the macros on across the table to him anyways. 

Jake stares at the note card for a long moment and then looks up at you. It's not a look you have ever seen on your roommate's face before. You aren't entirely sure how to decipher the way his green sea-glass eyes are gleaming back at you. He folds the paper once before putting it in his pocket. 

Jake clears his throat, and the edges of his lips quirk up. "Thank you."

"Of course, anytime, Jake," you say back. He puts away his plate a few minutes later after finishing his food. Then packs up the leftovers into some tupperware. 

"I'm going to bed," Jake tells you. Jake doesn't even stop to grab the current book he is in the middle of from where it is placed next to his chair in the living room. 

The moment Jake disappears up the stairs, you are frowning again, considering his behavior. It bugged you, something clearly was off, but you weren't in the position to ask him what it was. As you start to settle down for the evening, you notice that Jake had put it in the laundry basket next to the washer that morning. Seeing that you knew he originally had every intention of starting it before going to the gym that night something that never happened.

You briefly considered that maybe it isn't normal how you have memorized his routine, but also maybe that was just part of living with Jake. You didn't even think before you were throwing his laundry in the washer for him. You stay up to put the clothes in the dryer. Then you find yourself folding items and hanging some of them, not confident that you could iron them correctly. About halfway through the chore, you stop realizing just what you are doing but finish it out, imagining the look on Jake's face when he sees his laundry done. You are in too deep to back out at this point. 

🏡🧩🏡

You knew it wasn't the best idea that morning when you had left to go pick up some of your remaining stuff and random mail from where you used to live. However, you didn't expect it to go as badly as it had. You were still shaking from the interaction you had when you got home. Every moment of the interaction repeats over and over in your head. You hazardously throw your keys into your little key bowl, not caring to notice Jake's there as well. 

You were still trying to take calming breaths and push away the tears streaming down your face. Standing at the entrance to the living room frozen, you aren't sure if you are actually at home or back there with him. 

You startle and jump, letting out a small shriek, hearing a sound in the kitchen. You turn slowly, shocked to see Jake staring at you dressed in his NWUs instead of his flight suit. You are equally surprised by the sight of him home in the middle of the day, in a uniform you rarely see him wear. 

The adrenaline of being scared forces your brain into letting go of the nerves and panic you had barely been keeping in check. Tears spring freely from your eyes as you take gasping breaths. J ake sets down the knife he is holding and takes long strides across the room to quickly reach your side. His hands hover near you but don't actually touch. 

"What's wrong?" Jake asks in a deep voice. 

You just shake your head at him, unable to respond, instead focusing on getting air into your lungs. 

"Can I touch you?" Jake asks then, and that does seem okay, so you jerkily nod your head yes. 

First, his hands settle lightly on your shoulders. Once it seems like you are okay and comfortable with that. Jake goes a step further and wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against his chest. You press your face into the material of his shirt. Your hands come up to bunch it slightly on his chest as you find purchase to clutch him closer. 

He makes gentle shushing noises but otherwise doesn't say anything while holding you. He is so warm, and his arms feel strong around you. Jake's hold on you doesn't waiver once while you cry. Only relaxing slightly when your sniffles and crying start to level out and you let go of his shirt. 

You take one more deep breath of him. Jake smells of a pleasant mix of his body wash, y'all's fabric softener, and his cologne. Letting the calming effect of the smell flood your system before letting go of your hold on him completely, only then does Jake let his arms slip away. 

Pulling away from the hug, you shyly look to see Jake's face. You find that he is already looking at you. For one of the first times since you met him, you don't like how Jake's face looks. There is a soft and sad demeanor that you see in his eyes. His eyebrows crease and his lips are pressed into a flat line. You feel embarrassment and shame flood you. The way that you just broke down and cried on your roommate, fully processing in your muddled tired head. 

"You're home," you eventually say, trying to break the ice and put a brave face back on. 

"Yeah, I'm not flying today. So, I had the time to come home for lunch."

"Sorry to interrupt." You say, looking down to examine your feet. 

"You didn't interrupt anything," Jake reassures you. He goes back to the kitchen, and you watch as he continues to cut ingredients for his salad.

"Do you want me to make you anything?" He asks.

"No, thank you. "You say not feeling even a little hungry. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jake asks next. 

"No, thank you," you say again and settle at the kitchen island to watch Jake cut the veggies and toss them in a big bowl. 

"Okay," he says. You like that Jake doesn't push you for things. He respects the boundaries you set and doesn't even try to toe up against them. 

"Am I allowed to know why you aren't flying today? I thought someone had broken in. Plus, I hardly recognize you out of a flight suit."

"You don't like these?" Jake asks, looking at the Navy camo print he is wearing as if this uniform suddenly offended him. 

"I didn't say that," you tell him, giving a small laugh. Obviously, Jake could make anything look good, even things that shouldn't. 

"Can't fly every day." He says with a shrug. "Also, I'm going through some maintenance stuff and checks with my sailors." 

You hum, but otherwise, don't comment watching Jake wash the knife and cutting board he had been using then. Then, after he drys them and puts them away, he turns back to you. 

"There isn't anything to be embarrassed about," he tries to venture lightly. 

"You don't come home and cry on me," you say, frowning. 

"You sure about that one?" He asks, shoving a mouthful of salad into his mouth. 

"Pretty sure that I would remember such an occasion." 

Jake just hums. One of those sounds that makes you feel like he doesn't actually agree. A few bites of his food later, he sets his bowl down. His green gaze is trialed on you, but then he glances at his watch, huffing in annoyance. 

There is a slight caving feeling inside you. You feel bad. How much of Jake's lunch have you taken up? You had never actually seen him come home for lunch before, so he must not get a long time. 

"I do all the time. Maybe just a bit less of the wet physical crying." Jake tells you, putting a container lid on his bowl.

"You could," you utter to him, a little embarrassed. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, wouldn't bother me if you ever needed to. You know. I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Darlin," Jake says. Then glances at his watch again. "I got ten minutes before I have to go. What would you like to do?"

"I'm fine," you tell him. "You should use that time to eat." 

"I'll munch while I'm doing some paperwork later."

That was a lie. You knew that Jake would never eat around paperwork. However, it was the kind of lie that settles warmly. It was one of those lies born with good intentions and made to be soothing. You could never be upset that he is even trying to comfort you at his own expense. 

"I don't want to talk about it, Jake." You reiterate again.  

"I know, and you don't have to. I won't ask again. However, if you ever decide that you do. I'm here for you too. Always." 

"Thank you, Jake. You're a really good roommate."

"I hope you can consider me a friend too?" 

"Of course, we are friends too," you reassure him. Jake's lips quirk upwards, his dimples flashing upon hearing that. 

"Now, I can't go back to work without seeing at least one smile." 

"That's a pretty tall order." 

"Well, they don't call me the best for nothing."

"Do they really call you the best or is that something you just tell people?" You ask him, mostly joking. Jake pretends to take offense, pressing his hand dramatically to his chest. 

"Ma'am, you wound me," Jake says, pouting. 

"I don't know. I think it is a pretty legitimate question." 

"I am the best." 

"And how do they determine that exactly? Who the best is." 

"Well, there are a lot of ways. Many different factors to consider." 

"Oh really?" 

"Yup. Also sorts of stuff, but they get us all together once a year, and we have a competition." 

"What kind of competition?"

"Only the elite members of the Navy participate. We all take turns sliding." 

"Sliding?" 

"Yup," Jake confirms, sounding one hundred percent serious. "We set up a huge slip and slide on the carrier runway. You only get three tries, and then we add them for scoring. I may have ripped off all the skin on my chest last year, but it was worth it to win." 

You can't help but let out a laugh. You picture Hangman competitively sliding down a yellow tarp that doesn't have enough water on it. It's such a silly concept you aren't sure where he came up with it. 

"Ahh there she is," Jake says with a broad smile. 

"I never would have thought that was a skill the Navy values." 

"Yes, Ma'am. It's actually the second part of the Naval academy mission," Jake tells you, still maintaining a serious tone despite his smile. Then Jake stands up straight to his full height in parade rest. 

"To develop Midshipmen morally, mentally and physically and to imbue them with the highest ideals of duty, honor and loyalty in order to graduate leaders who are dedicated to a career of naval service and have potential for future development in mind and character to assume the highest responsibilities of command, citizenship and government." Jake repeats dutifully and then adds. "In addition to putting these ideals to the test by hosting the world's most competitive slip and slide competition. Weirdly, people don't talk about that second part much." 

You only laugh harder, shaking your head at him. "Yeah, an absolute mystery. I can't believe that isn't common knowledge." 

Jake chuckles along with you. Then you two are interrupted by a timer going off from Jake's phone. He sighs and silents it. 

"I'm sorry. I've got to go, sugar. Are you going to be okay?" 

"Yeah. I promise I'm okay. Thank you, Jake." 

He bites his lip and nods at you going to put in his shoes and lace them back up. "Are you going to be home later?" 

"Yeah, I'll be home." 

"We could do something if you're feeling up for it. Or I can pick up takeout." 

"That's sweet, Jake, but you really don't have to." 

"I want to," he says with a shrug. Then checks his reflection in the mirror, making sure he is presentable to go back to work. After that, he turns back to you. 

"I'll think about it." You tell him before playfully shoving him out the door so he isn't late. You try not to melt when Jake gives you another hug. You catch his hand just before he is too out of reach.  

"Thank you, Jake. For making me smile."

"It's the prettiest thing I've seen all day," Jake says, squeezing your hand with his own. His words muddle your brain a little bit. You don't get to say anything else before he heads off to his truck, waving at you one more time and driving off. 

You also pretend you aren't screaming on the inside when Jake comes home from work that night with your favorite food and ice cream. The night feels easy and warm, sitting and eating with Jake. The events of that morning can't cross your mind while Jake tells you all about some of the weird contraband he found in the junior sailors' barracks that day. He is no less than spellbinding. 

🏡🧩🏡

Jake is sitting at the kitchen table when you get home from work. He is surrounded by neatly organized papers spread all along the table in various piles. Jake is wearing a button-down, tie, and slacks that make you do a triple-take on him.

"Welcome home," he says, glancing up from his laptop that is open in front of him. That's when you see he also has a pair of glasses on. 

"Thank you," you say, slowly making your way to the kitchen but still looking at him. 

"What are you working on there?" You ask. 

"Oh, I'm doing my taxes," Jake says while giving you one of his winning smiles. 

"Taxes?"

"Yes, Ma'am"

"I guess that makes sense," you say while looking around the kitchen for a snack. 

After a few minutes of silence, you decide to ask another question. "Do you have a date later?" 

You knew Jake dated. A man who looks like that has to date. However, you had yet to see him ever bring someone home, which felt odd considering everything about Jake, and the persona he liked to put on as Hangman.  

"No. What makes you ask that?" Jake asks you. 

"Oh. I don't know. You're dressed like you are going on a date."

"No, I'm not," he says, looking down at himself. 

You laugh at him and shrug. "If you say so."

"I would never wear this on a date," Jake mutters, clearly offended. 

"Well, then, why are you wearing it?"

"I'm doing taxes," he says again. 

"Yeah, we have covered that. What does that have to do with your clothes?"

"I'm dressed like an accountant," Jake tells you. You can't hold back your giggles at his phrasing and bring a hand up to your mouth to try and stifle them before giving up entirely. 

"What? What's so funny?" 

"Two things," you say, holding up two fingers, finally biting back your giggles. 

"One, the fact that you got dressed up to do your taxes. The second is that being an accountant is a euphemism for being a sex worker." Jake chuckles at your explanation but shrugs. 

"Well, Mrs. Celeste said I should always dress for the day. It helps you present your best self. If you dress the part, it helps you act that part." Jake says that like a well memorized and treasured quote. A saying he clearly remembered with much fondness.  

"And today is my tax day, so I am dressing like a tax professional. I will have you know. Since I started doing them myself, I have never had one problem with my taxes."

You couldn't help but chuckle more at his explanation and give him a fond smile. Sometimes the way Jake was so perfectly built and attuned for the military was endearing. Of course, a career Naval man would think a uniform was essential for each different activity. 

"So, are the glasses part of your tax uniform too?"  

He made a show of pushing the said glasses further up his nose. "Yes, Ma'am. They also are blue light blocking, which helps prevent migraines."

You nod along to his explanation. You finish putting together your snack and lean against the kitchen counter while munching on it. "Who is Mrs. Celeste? A teacher?"

Jake's lips flatten slightly before the expression relaxes just as quickly. "No, Mrs. Celeste is my Babula." 

"Your Grandmother?" You guess. 

"Yeah, sorry. My grandma, but she was strictly Mrs. Celeste growing up, only Babula occasionally." 

"I don't think I've met someone who calls their grandparent by their first name."

"Well, not really her first name. You have to be respectful and throw the Miss in there with it. She is a very particular lady."

"Is it a southern thing?"

"Yeah, maybe," he says with a small laugh. The edges of his lips quirk up, and you have to look away from Jake to distract yourself. It is easy to fall into the trap of how beautiful he is, with the sparkle he can get in his eyes. Or how even the smallest of his smiles makes you want to grin back. 

"So, how are the taxes?" 

"Oh, it's good. I'm almost finished up."

"Awesome, congrats Jake."

"Have you done yours?" He asks you. 

You shake your head and roll your eyes at the idea. "No, I definitely haven't."

"But you got your W2s in the mail last week."

"Jake, are you snooping through my mail?"

He raises both his hands up in defense. "No, I'm not! W2s just have a very particular look." 

"I'm just kidding. I know you wouldn't snoop through my mail. Yeah, I got them, but I've been busy. I guess I should make a Tax Masters appointment or something."

That crease in between Jake's eyebrows appears, the one that haunts you, that you pretend you don't obsess over. Followed by a small frown.

"Tax Master?" He asks, clearly appalled. You shrug back at him, not entirely seeing the issue. 

"I could do them for you," Jake says, then quickly adds on. "I mean, I can help you do them. If you have the time. I'm already dressed for it, and I won't charge you or anything."

"Oh no, Jake, that is so sweet, but I can't ask you to do that."

"No, really, I wouldn't mind. I think it would be fun. Plus, then you will have it done, and you won't have to worry about it." 

"Really, thank you so much, but it's fine." 

Jake's frown deepens at your answer, and he seems almost genuinely upset at your denial of his help. The warm feeling in your chest likes to flip over and grow a little bit more each time he is too sweet in moments like these. 

"You know Javy warned me that you were an asshole when I was going to move in. However, you have not once lived up to that. You could stand to be less nice to me, Jake." You tell him. You mean it to come off as almost flirty and a bit of a joke. However, it doesn't seem to land with him that way. 

The change that comes over Jake isn't something entirely tangible. It is almost like a shift in the air around him rather than anything physical. The way Jake looks at you just feels heavier and more charged. The confidence he always exudes seems to double with how he sits up just the smallest bit straighter but then leans back against his chair casually. 

"Go get your W2s." He tells you in a perfectly level tone, but it has a demanding edge. 

"Jake," you start to say and roll your eyes at him. 

"Nope," Jake says, popping the p. His voice takes on a lower candace, leaving no room for arguments. "I'm not giving you a choice. We are going to do your taxes." 

"No, we aren't doing my taxes." 

"Yes, I am. I can't be caught not living up to my reputation. So, I'm not going to be nice and accept that you don't want to. This is one of the few situations I won't take no for an answer." 

"It was just a joke." 

"No, it wasn't," Jake says, giving you a small shrug. You can't tell if he is actually hurt by how he is acting, but you suspect some part of him was twinged at his best friend's description. 

"It really was, Jake. Javy adores and trusts you. I'm sure he never would have suggested me moving in with you if he actually thought you were an asshole." 

"I know I'm an asshole. It's fine, sugar, don't worry. I'm not going to tattle on you telling me that to Coyote."

"You aren't an ass, though. That was my whole point."

Jake just shook his head at your answer. "I am one, and I don't want that to be a surprise when you inevitably witness it." 

You aren't sure how to respond to that, so you are relieved when Jake changes the topic. "Now, get your tax stuff, so it doesn't take us all night."

"Okay," you sigh, giving in to defeat. Jake gives you a mega-watt smile, and looks back at his computer screen. 

As you are walking up the stairs, you hear him yell across the house. "Dress like your best accountant self!"

"I won't be doing that," you yell back. 

"Please! It's important." Jake yells back.

When you are in your room getting all your stuff and paperwork pilled together. You find yourself opening your closet and pulling out an outfit that you could imagine wearing if you were an accountant.

You also spend several minutes too long wondering what would happen if you went back downstairs in the most provocative lingerie you own. After all, Jake didn't specify which type of accountant to dress up as. You wondered if it would be tempting to Jake. Could you provoke him into falling into lust with you? Tempt him enough that he took you on the dining room table on top of all the Tax paperwork? Jake has expressed attraction to women before, so there must be at least some part of him that is at least a little attracted to you. 

You smash down your thirsty thoughts and try to screw your head back on straight before it can drift too much off on track. When you get back downstairs, Jake is still at the table. You dump all your stuff on an empty spot there. 

Jake looks up from his computer and smiles at you, quirking an eyebrow. Then, Jake speaks to you teasingly, "And here I thought you might dress up as the other type of accountant you were telling me about." 

Your brain has no choice but to start short-circuiting, and you open and close your mouth twice. Jake starts shuffling through your paperwork, looking at what you have brought him. 

"I ordered us some pizza too," he says before you get out a proper response or say anything teasing back to him. 

"Yum. I'm excited," you tell him sliding into a seat and opening up your own laptop. 

He stops his shuffling and examination of the papers to level you with a serious look. "Thank you for indulging me, by the way." 

"Anything for you, Jake," you tell him and mean it. Unfortunately, the way you feel about your roommate is rapidly spiraling out of the tight control you tried to keep it in. 

"I like when we do fun things like this together," Jake says to you, grinning. 

"Me too," you tell him. Then add, "Only you would find taxes fun, though, Hangman."

"I am about to show you just how fun taxes can be and how you can get a great return," Jake says, taking your words in stride. 

Jake does your taxes almost entirely by himself, only asking occasional questions. He also then organizes all of your paperwork in an extra accordion binder he has. The taxes aren't fun, but spending time with Jake is.  

"Thank you," you say to Jake daring to press a soft, affectionate kiss to his cheek. You linger for a moment, the prickle of his end-of-day stubble ticking your lips, but you don't mind it.  When you pull back to gauge his reaction, Jake looks almost pained and upset. You worry for a moment that even just a cheek kiss could make him react this way. You briefly thank god you didn't actually try to seduce him earlier. 

"Always, anytime." He finally says. However, Jake is now glaring down at his keyboard and not looking at you. 

"I hope it wasn't too much trouble," you venture, confused by this mood shift. 

"Sugar?"

"Yes, Jake?" 

"I don't think you should pay so much rent." 

"What?"

"Listen," he runs a hand through his hair, pushing it all out of sorts. "I just don't think it's fair for you to pay so much."

"Of course, it's fair. I live here," you explain. 

"Yeah, but no. I get BAH, and I don't have any student loans from school. Plus, the Navy pays me plenty as an officer. I was paying for this place all alone before you moved in anyways."

"I'm not going to pay less rent because you saw my financials and feel bad." You tell Jake quietly, trying not to actively become upset. 

"Please don't be so stubborn," he pleads with you. 

You cross your arms over your chest, "Take your own advice."

"I'm the one being stubborn?" 

"Yes! You are. You are the most stubborn man I have ever met."

Jake's frown deepens, and that sad look in his eyes at your words starts to break through to you. Then he responds, "I'm sorry. I guess I'll try and work on that." 

Jake starts meticulously putting things away into different folders. He moves through each of his piles on the table and doesn't spare you a second glance. It leaves a crushing feeling in your chest. 

"I'm sorry for snapping at you." 

"There is no need to apologize. I'm the one who is sorry." Jake says, shrugging off your apology. 

"No, you don't need to apologize. I understand why you said what you did. I know you were trying to be sweet." You start to say but are cut off. 

"I wasn't trying to be sweet."

"Oh my god. Okay, fine, trying to be nice, then," you say, rolling your eyes. 

Jake sets down the folder he is currently holding, and it thumps a little bit on the table. The force and loud sound make you flinch. 

"I'm not sweet, nice, good, or kind. Okay? I'm not any of those things. I call things how I see them. I look at facts, figures, and numbers. Then I run calculations and act accordingly."

"And how is it mathematically possible that me paying less rent possibly works out for you, Jake? You will be losing money." As he shakes his head, he huffs at your words a little bit like they are funny. 

"You could do a lot and make a lot of gains if you paid less rent, and I don't mind picking up the extra amount. You might be one of the few people I haven't hated living with. I don't want you figuring out you need to live somewhere cheaper and moving out on me. So, I'm not being nice. I'm being a selfish asshole." Jake clenches his fists hard, and you see his knuckles start to turn paler. With a deep breath, he relaxes and shrugs. Loosening the tight coil of his muscles, Jake gives you a curt tight lipped smile with a nod. "I'm just a selfish asshole, okay?"

"Please stop. Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true," he says, rolling those beautiful eyes at you. 

"It's not true. Also, I would prefer if you don't use the word selfish around me, please." You say in a surprisingly steady voice. You don't really want to get triggered right now, and you could only hope that you wouldn't have to explain triggers to Jake. It takes him one moment to think and another to process before he says anything. 

"Oh fuck. I'm so sorry. I won't use it again." Jake promises, no questions asked. His words blow up a balloon in your diaphragm, making it feel like your breath is about to catch. Then he adds on, "If there are any other words…" He looks around and grabs a loose pen and one of his notebooks. Jake slides them across the table to you. "Write them down. Maybe? If you can." 

The warmth Jake inspires in your chest is unparalleled and drowns out anything you can think of aside from how endearing he can be and how fond you are of him. Jake doesn't take the lack of response from you well.  

"I'm sorry," he apologizes again. You spring from where you had been sitting, walking slowly and deliberately toward him. You make sure to give him plenty of time to protest and say something. 

Jake looks steadily back at you. However, he looks like he is preparing himself to be slapped or punished, holding perfectly still. Instead, though, you wrap Jake in a tight hug. He is stiff as a board beneath you. After a long moment, as you consider pulling away, Jake relaxes and wraps his arms around you. They are wrapped loosely at first but then tighten in small intervals until Jake is practically clinging to you. 

"You are so good," you whisper to him, a little dazed. You are almost stunned by how desperately Jake tries to pretend otherwise. 

"Don't say that," Jake whispers in a broken voice, hugging you a bit tighter. 

"Too good." You left the words for me unsaid, but you felt them. 

"I'm really not."

"It's okay if you don't see it. I see it for you. I'll make sure everyone else sees, too," you tell Jake curling your hands into a fist in his shirt. 

He doesn't say anything but keeps holding you tightly. You don't know how long the two of you stay embraced like that until Jake finally eases his grip on you, and you reluctantly pull away from him as well. 

He presses a lingering kiss to your forehead. "Please stop paying so much in rent," he requests again. 

"That will not be happening, Hangman."

"So stubborn." He sighs. Jake kisses your forehead again. He leaves his lips lingering, and you start to count the breaths memorizing how warm his lips are. Three breaths later, he is pulling away. Jake grabs his laptop and a stack of folders heading upstairs without another word to you. 

You stare after him for a while, trying to parse out the mystery Jake presents, and coming up a bit short, just like you always did. He is one of the most outwardly confident men you have ever met. Yet, other times, Jake is the first person to make a self-deprecating comment about himself. You swallow down how much you desire more from him, wishing for more, knowing you can't and shouldn't have it.  

🏡🧩🏡

You and Jake were lounging on the couch. He was scrolling on his phone, avoiding going to the gym, half-heartedly trying to convince you to go with him. You were also scrolling your phone while deflecting Jake’s offers. 

That was when your doorbell rang, followed by heavy knocking. You and Jake both look up at each other. He raises his eyebrows, and you just shrug, having no idea who could be at the door. Jake looks back to his phone, clearly ready to ignore it, when the doorbell rings twice more, and the pounding on the door gets louder. Jake sighs and gets up, walking across the house towards the noise. 

“Hold your horses out there!” Jake yells towards the door before opening it. 

You wait for a moment, trying to hear who it is, curious about who would be so rude and what they needed. However, you don’t hear anything from where you are on the couch. So you stand and follow Jake into the entry hallway. 

“Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave.” You hear Jake say. He is standing at his full height in the door frame. 

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” You hear from on the other side of the door. 

Nervousness shoots through your whole body hearing that voice. Anxiety immediately pops up, and your stomach drops. You know that voice. You have heard it a thousand times before. Why was he here? How was he here? 

“I asked you to leave, Sir.”

“Just tell that little bitch that —”

Jake steps further forward onto the front porch. “Now, we don’t speak about ladies like that where I am from. And I’m going to ask that you act accordingly while at my home, Sir.” Jake cuts him off with that well mannered southern military niceness. 

“I don’t give a fuck where you are from.”

You flinch at his tone of voice, feeling bile rise up in your throat. You lean against the wall slapping your hand over your mouth, trying to prevent yourself from throwing up. 

“I asked you politely to leave. I won’t ask again. I can call you a taxi or an uber. But don’t you dare take one more step on my front porch.” Jake says in a deep tone. You are hit with the sudden, horrifying realization that he is going to hurt Jake, and that is something you just won’t let happen. 

You are trying to go through possibilities in your head. Anyway, this could shake out; it would be bad for Jake. Jake would either get hurt and get in trouble, or he would kick ass and gets in worse trouble. This would end badly; either way, Jake is going to get in trouble, and it would be your fault. You would be responsible because you caused this situation. Jake was going to pay the consequences all because he was trying to protect you. You were roommates, so Jake must think he has some obligation to protect you. 

You feel swamped in stress knowing how easily Jake can escalate a situation and provoke someone; sometimes, all it takes for him is one well-placed smile. That stress is finally what unfreezes you, and you stumble towards the front door. 

Jake’s large, broad form still mostly hides your view of the other side, but you cautiously approach and set your hand gently on the back of his shoulder. You feel how tense Jake’s muscles are under your hand and can see it in the line of the back of his neck. 

“Sugar, I’m not going to tell you what to do,” Jake says in a deep voice. He doesn’t budge an inch or look back toward you. “But I would like to suggest that you go back inside. I have this handled.” 

You want to cry. You want to cry for so many reasons: cry because you are in this situation, that you have to deal with this again, that you feel so small. However, you mostly want to cry because Jake “Hangman” Seresin is such a good man. It’s startling sometimes, not because it’s really unexpected, but rather that it is so completely and bluntly genuine. 

Having Jake here defending you, trying to protect you from the person who has probably scared you most in your life, it feels so silly to pretend like you don’t have feelings for him, to pretend that you aren’t more in love with him than you ought to be.

The realization doesn’t really feel shocking; it is closer to acceptance. A given truth that is part of your life now. An empowering truth that swells in your bones like a swift tide, filling up the spaces that have been empty for so long. 

You love Jake more than you are scared. The warmth of affection towards him is so hot it burns out the freezing ice in your veins and the numbness in your fingers. You love him, and you will be damned if you let Jake be hurt, touched, tainted, or affected by this man who has hurt you. It seems cliché that loving someone like this is enough for you to finally break through the barrier of fear you have lived your whole life in. However, now it just feels so simple. 

Your heart is beating hard. The adrenaline is pumping through you so strongly that you can hear it echoing in your ears. Your hand slides up Jake’s back to his bicep, and you give him a gentle push. Jake shifts with the movement. He slides to the right so you can finally fully see the front porch. However, he doesn’t move enough that you are fully exposed. Jake’s body is still partially concealing you from view. 

Then you hear your name, and your attention snaps away from its hyper-focus on Jake. You turn it forward and brace yourself. You drift your eyes to the ground, landing on the feet of your visitor, staying there for a minute before meeting his burning eyes. 

“Hello, Dad.” 

“Ah, so she is here,” your father says, throwing his hands up and glaring at Jake. You can smell the booze on him from the doorway. It makes your stomach turn. You resist the urge to wretch, squeezing your hand, which is still on Jake’s bicep. He flexes, and his bicep digs into his shirt as your nails also dig in. You don’t like those angry, hateful eyes on your Jake. Jake doesn’t budge an inch or react to your nails on his skin.

“What are you doing here, Dad?” You ask him. Your hold on Jake acting like an anchor point for you. 

“You don’t bother to answer my texts or anyone else’s calls and texts. Just because you moved out doesn’t mean you get to be a selfish bitch” your dad spits out. 

“I’ve been pretty busy,” you defend yourself in a small voice.  

“Oh, I bet you have been so busy. What are you doing these days?” He growls at you. “You know it doesn’t really count as moving out if you are spreading your legs to pay for it.” 

You flinch, your hand falling from Jake’s arm and balling into a tight fist at your side. You hate how easily he can make you feel small, even when you are angry. 

“Watch your mouth,” Jake hisses, rejoining the conversation. You glance at him, and Hangman is shaking with contained rage. You know this is not a good situation; anytime, someone could blow up. 

“You should go inside, Hangman,” you tell him gently. 

“Absolutely not,” Jake responds instantly. 

“So you are playing the part of a pathetic little whore wife for this pretty boy.” Your dad says, cutting in. 

You grit your teeth as he continues on. “Come on. I thought you gave up pussies after our talk when you were in high school.” 

With the reminder of just what he is referring to, You are overcome with anger, and you finally can’t take it anymore. You recognize his words for what they are, a direct bait at Jake and undercutting you. It makes you so angry you start shaking. Tears burst from your eyes, trying to let off some steam bubbling inside you. It boils up, so you can’t take it anymore, and you whisper, “Shut up.” 

“What?” Your dad asks, clearly shocked. You take a step forward fueled by your anger. 

“Shut the fuck up.” You pronounce each word slowly. Then continue on, “I’m tired of this. You don’t get to be mean to me and still expect a relationship with me. You don’t get to hit me, yell at me, and abuse me just to show up at my house on your bullshit. And you sure as fuck don’t get to say anything about Jake.” You suck in a rapid breath, the words fueling the fire in you. Your angerburning brighter with every word. 

“You made me think that kind, decent men didn’t exist, Dad, but Jake is good. He isn’t a pretty boy. He is smart, sweet, strong, and kind. I will not hear you say one more thing about him. Ever.” You punctuate the sentence with a jab of your index finger at him. He looks like he might be cowed, and before you can even finish a prayer that he will be done, the fire in his eyes lits again. 

“You could have at least found someone who stands up for you. A real man.” Your dad isn’t even looking at you when he says it. Instead, he is staring at Jake. 

“That’s a rather rude thing to say about an active duty Naval Officer,” you hiss. Your dad takes a step back, his eyebrows raising, reexamining Jake. He shifts his weight between his feet nervously. 

“You aren’t welcome at our home. So leave and crawl back into the bottle you drank before coming here. Don’t come back, Dad. I don’t want to see you.” 

You try to force your body to relax, but the adrenaline is still pumping hard in your veins. So, you start to walk backward back into the house. Jake still hasn’t taken his eyes off your dad, and he makes no move to come with you back into the house. 

“Jake?” You ask. 

“Just give me a minute, sweetheart. I need to have a talk with your old man here and make sure that he makes it home.”

“I don’t want him near you.” 

Your dad still looks blown away by this turn of events. Like he is scrambling to put words together. He keeps looking back and forth between you and Jake. 

Jake breathes out heavily through his nose. He turns his head enough to glance at you. Whatever he sees on your face must break his resolve. Jake clenches his jaw, and you watch the muscle flex once, then twice. After that, he rolls his shoulders, and it’s like Hangman is physically able to just shrug the tension of the situation off. 

“Get home safe, Sir. I suggest doing so soon. MAs are known to drive down our street.” Jake says it in a light, easygoing tone, border lining on cheery. Then, plastering that practiced, perfect smile on his face, Jake nods his head toward your dad and comes back into the house. 

Jake closes the door but doesn’t move, staring out the frosted window on the front door. His body is tense again, standing rigidly at his full height. You are still shaking from anger. You slump against Jake’s back, letting your body weight shift into his. One of his arms bends backward a bit awkwardly, sitting on your waist. His large palm is burning hot. You can feel it through the fabric of your clothes. Then Jake’s fingers flex to give you a small squeeze of reassurance. 

When Jake finally does move, it is just to turn away from the door and wrap you tightly in his arms. You enjoy the warmth of his strong embrace, feeling exhausted as the adrenaline starts to fade. Jake is still shaking, though. 

“He’s gone,” Jake says into the crown of your head. You let a little sigh escape you, feeling a bit more of the tension release. 

“Good,” you manage to tell him. 

“I wanted to defend you. I wanted to slam his face so hard into the porch that he wouldn’t ever be able to open his mouth again. Wanted to tell him how you are—”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” you cut Jake off before he can continue. You don’t want to know what he thinks about you right now. You can’t handle whatever words could spill out of his mouth next. 

“I’ll make sure he never comes back here,” Jake says, his voice dropping, and you feel the rage contained in him, the subtle shake and heat coming from how tense he is. 

“I don’t want him near you. If something happened to you because of him….” you trail off. Your hands wander the expanse of Jake’s back in an almost soothing motion. However, you don’t know who it is soothing more, you or him. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

He takes a deep breath and then releases it in a heavy sigh. “What if you just give me his full name and social security number? You wouldn’t have to know about anything else.”

“Jake,” you whisper in a tone that is almost reminiscent of amusement. 

Jake sighs again. He draws back from your hug and cups your face. He swipes his thumb across your cheekbone, wiping away the tears that have been lingering. 

“You are the kindest, most compassionate person I have ever met,” Jake whispers. Considering how he is looking at you with a glimmer in his eyes, it’s clear the emotions of the situation are still running rampant. That look, paired with how he is holding you, makes you think Jake might be about to kiss you.  

“No, No. Stop.” You don’t know if you are trying to ask him not to kiss you or to stop talking. Either way, you feel like you might explode if this interaction isn’t over soon. 

“Yes,” Jake says. “Let me, please.” 

His thumb is still tracing along your cheek, and you can’t help yourself from leaning a tiny bit into his palm. An action that momentarily freezes his thumb before it picks up steadily again. Not hearing an explicit no from you again, Jake continues on. 

“That man has no say over you. Who you are is so stunning. You never deserved to be treated the way you were. I am so sorry you ever had to go through that. I am so sorry he showed up here. You don’t owe him a single second of your time or attention. You are valuable. You are amazing. He is trying to make you small because he sees how good you are.” 

A shudder racks through your body, hearing Jake’s words, and fresh tears start to fall unprompted from your eyes. As soon as they do, though, Jake pushes them away. “I am so proud of you for getting away from him. You are so strong and brave. It makes me awed. I’m so glad that you moved in here. You are…” Jake doesn’t finish the sentence, he seems to lose his train of thought. His mouth parts a little bit, and his eyes flash down to glance at your lips. 

Jake is going to kiss you, and it might possibly be the worst thing that could happen. If he kisses you right now because of your dad, you know you might break into a million different pieces. You don’t want Jake to kiss you for any reason but pure desire and affection. You don’t want him to kiss you in comfort, or pity, or convenience, or as an outlet. You don’t want him to kiss you just because emotions are running high from the incident that just happened. Most of all, you don’t want Jake to kiss you and not mean it. You don’t want him to kiss you without the intention of kissing you again. 

So, even though you are desperate to feel his lips, and memorize their shape, how they feel against yours. Desperate to discover what he tastes like, curl your fingers in his hair and take comfort in the form of his body. You know you can’t, it has the power to break you, and you already feel so broken and exhausted. 

You cover the hand Jake has on your face with your own and pull it away. However, you don’t immediately let go holding his large palm. Hangman takes your hint and steps backward, giving you a little space so that he is pressed against the door again. You decide to thread your fingers with his. Jake’s skin is still almost hot to the touch in your hand.

“Thank you, Jake,” You finally say, meeting his piercing green eyes again. You squeeze the hand you are holding. He gives you a tight nod and then tips his head upwards, so he is looking at the ceiling. Jake rests his head against the door as well and closes his eyes. 

You observe him for a moment, then you go to release the hand you are holding. Jake stops you, though, his hand tightening as yours loosens, and you try to pull away. You give a little tug, and he tightens his fingers even more. Jake’s head is still tipped, and you hear him sucking in a deep breath before blowing it out.

 “Please don’t let go,” he begs you. Jake’s eyes flash open again, and he is looking down his nose at you. “I just, I need you.”

You inhale sharply at his phrasing, and he sighs heavily. “I might do something terrible if you let go of me. If you don’t need me here, there won’t be anything to stop me.” 

“You’re not going to do anything terrible,” You say, retangling your fingers with his. Jake’s hand flexes in yours, and he takes another big breath. 

“I’ll make sure he loses our address and forgets it too. Make sure he doesn’t remember anything at all anymore. I’ll—”

“You’ll stay right here, Jake.”

He lifts his head so it isn’t tilted against the door anymore and stares down at you. He looks like he is holding on to every word you are saying to keep his sanity. His skin is flushed from anger, and his palm shakes slightly in yours. You were in awe he was able to hold back this reaction so long, remaining calm and collected throughout the entire encounter. 

“You will stay here with me, Jake. I need you.” 

“Yeah?” He asks shakily. 

“Yeah. Need your help, Jake.”

There is a low rumble in his chest, almost resembling the hum it was probably supposed to be. You step closer to Jake, once again closing the gap between you.

“Tell me what you need.” It comes out as a demand, and he seems to realize that when he adds on a small quick “Please.”

You look at him then, trying to read his face and those eyes that haunt your dreams. You examine the creases and lines his face makes with the severe angry look he has plastered on. You take the time to observe how his hair is hazardously falling out of place for how many times he has run his hand through it. You don’t really find any of the answers you are looking for. You just find Jake. And Jake is an oh-so-wondrous thing to find. 

You step closer to him and tug the hold he has on your hand again. His nose scrunches for a moment, and his frown tightens. His eyes lift upwards towards the ceiling again as his jaw clenches; he lets go of your hand. Jake’s hand falls heavily back until it hits the door making a smacking sound. You flinch at the sound but take another step forward, crowding Jake against the door. You lift your hand up to trace over his neck and then settle on his face, encouraging him to adjust his gaze back to you. He follows direction and leans into your hold, just like you leaned into his earlier. 

“Need you to stay with me,” you start slowly, encouraged as Jake nods his head in a small jerk. 

“I need you to leave the front door.” 

He considers your words for a moment, then shakes his head. “I don’t think I can do that. I’m sorry, sugar. I need to protect you.” 

“There is no one in the world I feel safer with than you, Jake.” He squeezes his eyes tightly closed at those words and pulls in a ragged breath. “So, you can’t leave me alone here.”

He nods again but still has his eyes closed. “Ain’t leaving. You need me.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Can I hold you?” Jake asks, then once again remembers his manners throwing out another small, please. 

“Yes, please,” you whisper. Jake doesn’t waste a moment before wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you snuggly against him. The change of angle causes your hand to slip from his face, so you wrap it around his neck instead, your fingers drifting against the short hairs there. You go to wrap your other arm around his waist but instead awkwardly hit the front door. You hiss out a small breath at the momentary pain. 

Jake responds to the sound. He starts walking forward, making you walk backward. Walking while he is wrapped around you proves to be difficult, and you stumble a little. That seems to be all Jake needs; he wraps his arms under your ass and lifts you. 

You are terrified at the concept that Jake is going to try to carry you, and you open your mouth to protest. However, with only one small grunt that honestly sounded more like pure sex with how low and husky it is, Jake is carrying you down the hallway. You wrap your arm around his neck more securely, adding a second one for more leverage. 

Jake doesn’t stop to set you on the couch like you had expected. Instead, he continues up the stairs and right into his room. He sets you on his bed gently, and you unwrap your arms from his neck, letting him pull away. Jake goes back to the door of his room, closes it, and clicks the lock into place. You raise an eyebrow at his action.

"That’s rather presumptuous, Hangman.” 

“What?” He looks at you confused before he looks back at his door. “Oh no, I’m sorry. I wasn’t, I’m not.”

You shush him motioning towards yourself to try and get him to come closer again. “I know.” 

Jake comes back to your side. Now that you have been given the temporary clearance to freely touch him, you cannot stop yourself. Jake sits next to you on the bed, and you are scooting closer so that your thighs are flush side by side. Jake throws an arm across your shoulder, pulling you even closer to him. 

“Do you need to talk about it?” He asks you softly. You let a hollow dry laugh at his question, your laughter starts to devolve until it’s nearly hysteric giggling. Jake takes it in stride, holding you close and his thumb drawing small soothing back-and-forth shapes. After you are almost breathless and heaving, you finally start to recover. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, but I definitely need to. Not with you, though, Jake.”

“Why not me?”

“Because it’s the kind of fucked you talk to a therapist about.”

“I’m a great listener.”

“I know you are, but this isn’t your baggage to pack around and deal with, Jake.”

“Baggage? Sugar, that’s why we have the attic. If that isn’t enough space, or you fill it up. I’ll build a shed in the backyard.”

“What if that’s not enough room?”

“Then we have the garage. We’ll just park in the driveway.”

“You would give up your shop?” You ask, thinking of Jake’s favorite place in the house. 

“Yup,” Jake says without hesitating. “And after that, well, I’ve never been too fond of the extra guest room anyway.” 

“If that’s all not enough?”

“Then we’ll move. Or we go through it until we find some we can let go of.” Jake says, his free hand crossing his body to settle warmly on your knee. 

“It’s not physical baggage.”

“I know it’s not.” 

The feeling of affection you feel for him grows even more. Every time you think that there is no way possible you can fall further in love with him, Jake turns around and proves you wrong. He does some kind, funny, sweet, unexpected thing that makes you fall a little harder. 

You lift your head and look at him. Jake’s eyes meet your own, the severe stormy look in them a little less present. He is a bit more at ease, no longer shaking with anger. You let your eyes fall to his lips. You briefly think you love him so much it might be worth the risk to shift forward and kiss him. That maybe it wouldn’t lead to disaster like you’ve convinced yourself it would.

“What’s your favorite comfort movie?” Jake asks, breaking you from your trance. You shift a bit further away from him but not far before giving him an answer. 

The two of you watch your favorite comfort movie. You are cuddled into Jake’s side the whole time. The two of you had shifted back into the bed, cuddled close while watching the wall-mounted TV in Jake’s room. Exhaustion hits you like a wall as the adrenaline leaves your system, accompanied by the heat radiating off of Jake, the way everything smells like him, and his Tempurpedic bed; you relax more than you have in a long time. 

As you start to drift asleep against Jake’s chest, his heartbeat has a steady, soothing rhythm under your ear. You think out of all the times you have dreamed of falling asleep with Jake in his bed, none of those fantasies come even close to how good it actually feels. None of your dreams prepared you for how safe you would feel.

Your dreams also didn’t prepare you for sneaking back to your room at three in the morning when you woke up. Or pretending the next day that nothing had happened. After all, nothing had happened except some tense moments and Jake getting a glimpse of your past. You don’t say anything, and he doesn’t, either. You catch him watching you closer than he would typically for the next few days. 

More time starts to pass, and you are thankful that nothing was risked or changed between you and Jake or has affected you as roommates. There are only the slightest moments when both of you are much more casual about physical affection. Hugging Jake was now a commonplace part of your day, and you occasionally catch yourself daydreaming about what it felt like to fall asleep in his bed. 

🏡🧩🏡

You had started to pick up what the signs were when Jake wasn't okay, and something was bothering him pretty early into moving in. He had some pretty obvious tells. However, something had been really really bothering him for a while now. He didn't say anything to you, but he didn't have to; Jake's mannerisms gave him away. Jake wasn't following his routine and had started obsessively cleaning.

The other night, he knocked on your door, bursting open seconds after you told Jake he could come in. Then Hangman had all but begged you to let him deep clean your room. When you told Jake no, he gave you a look like you just insulted his Babula and stalked out of the room. Half an hour later, he was back in your doorway, asking the same question phrased slightly differently. You had finally given in after his second time double-checking. However, you insisted that you helped and supervised his cleaning. Once you agreed, Jake had done his happy dance. It was so cute it managed to cover the embarrassment that was crawling in you at letting someone else, let alone the man you loved your roommate, clean your room. 

The next day Hangman decided to reorganize all the bookshelves. First by color, then by genre, and even one time by the number of pages. His last reorganization was to put them all back to by author's last name. This was only after Jake talked to you for over an hour about the pros and cons of the Dewey decimal system in modern library science. 

After the books, you come home, and there is a puzzle on the table. A 2500-piece puzzle of the painting Meeting On The Turret Stairs. Jake works on it constantly. Only stopping to go to work and the gym. For three days, he doesn't read and doesn't do his sudoku. Jake doesn't sit with you in the living room at night. Instead, he just works on his puzzle, blowing past his typical bedtime every night. Then he stops going to the gym, and a day after that, he cancels his weekly call with his niece. That's when you know without a shadow of a doubt that whatever is bothering Jake must be significant. 

Finally, you can't bite your tongue or try to keep your nose out of his business anymore. The concern you feel is too much to handle. You had gotten up at 3 am for some water, and Jake was still puzzling at the table. 

"How's it going, Sport?"

"No, I'm Hangman," Jake answers in a quiet voice. 

"What?" you ask him, confused. 

"Not my callsign," Jake mumbles to you. You squint and try to piece together what he means in your still half-asleep brain. 

"You know someone named Sport?"

Jake just shrugs his shoulders, engrossed in his task. "There are worse callsigns to have." 

"Like Hangman?" You tease him. Jake finally looks up at you when you say that. Jake's eyes are bloodshot, and he has a hurt look. The small frown, paired with his glassy tired eyes, makes you feel like you just kicked a puppy. 

"Hangman is cool," Jake protests. 

"Hangman is very cool," you tell him placatingly, holding up your hands in surrender. 

 "You don't actually think it's cool," Jake whispers, his tired eyes falling back to his puzzle. Jake sounds so sad about it that your feet are moving before your brain, and you are sliding next to him on the bench for the long side of the table.

"Hangman is cool," You say and then nudge him affectionately with your shoulder. "You are cool." 

His lips quirk upwards from his frown before falling again. “Well, I am the Hangman.” 

"How is the puzzle going?"

"Fine, good. I like puzzling."

"You have done other puzzles?" You ask. 

"Yeah, I have a whole box full."

You hum at his words, tiredly wiping your eyes. "You should have been Puzzleman." 

Jake's eyes flash over to yours, slightly worried. "Do not ever say that around Coyote." 

"Hangman, It's three AM." He looks surprised to hear the time, and you watch him turn his wrist to confirm the time on his watch.

"Go to bed," You add softly. 

"I like when you call me Jake." 

"Then why do you listen better when I call you Hangman?" 

"Hmm, maybe because that's the name I hear most often. Maybe because it's easy to be Hangman."

"Is it hard to be Jake?" You ask him gently. 

Jake is quiet for a long moment after your question. Before answering, he sets the piece he had been holding back in its color pile. All he gives you is a whispered, "Sometimes."

You aren't sure what to say, so instead, you put a hand on his shoulder and squeeze it. "It's time for bed, Jake. It'll be here in the morning." 

Jake nods his head, listening to you. You get the water you initially came downstairs for and wait until Jake starts up the stairs. Following behind him, you make sure he goes into his room. You aren't really eased about the situation when he shuts the door. However, you are glad he will at least get some sleep. 

Before you go back to bed, you shoot your group chat with Marlee and Javy a text. 

Have you ever seen Jake do a puzzle?

You wake up to texts from Javy and Marlee, both asking all kinds of questions like: what you meant? What kind of puzzle? With how many pieces? And, how long has Jake been working on it?  

From the questions alone, you gather that your worries are correct and Jake puzzling is not a good thing. Getting out of bed, you make yourself presentable enough to venture out of your room and downstairs. 

In the mid-morning light, you are once again greeted with the sight of Jake hunched over his puzzle. A steaming cup of tea sitting next to him, and Chris LeDoux playing from the record player. 

"Good morning," you say. 

"Morning, sugar," Jake says back. You are glad to get a response, but the worry is still gnawing at you. You start putting together your own morning drink, and your eyes keep drifting back to him. 

"Jake, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." He says, not looking away from the puzzle piece he is currently studying. 

You stop leaning against the counter, taking your drink with you and walk over to his side. Jake is completing this puzzle concerningly fast; you notice examining his progress this morning alone. He keeps staring at the piece in his hand, unblinking even as you approach. You watch him for a few more moments before deciding it's time for you to intervene. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" You pose cautiously. His eyebrows crease, and he still doesn't look away from the puzzle. 

"About the puzzle?" he asks you in a hopeful tone. 

"No, Jake. About what's bothering you." 

He finally does spare you a glance, and you don't like how dull his green sea glass eyes are. The normally vibrant, mischievous glint isn't present, and they are slightly bloodshot and red, even after you forced him to get some sleep. 

"It's fine. I'm fine. Just work stuff. I've got to finish this puzzle." He tells you, then looks away. 

You frown at Jake's answer. Puzzles are supposed to be fun, and you don't think this is actually a healthy, cathartic activity for Jake anymore. You almost preferred his book reorganization or when he went to every door and oiled the hinges, the top and bottom hinges twice but the middle ones only once. When you asked why not the middle one twice? Jake had told you something about middle children that had made you laugh. 

While Jake normally released stress through organization, order, and control. The frenzy and energy he has with this puzzle is different. This wasn't like the month after you moved in, and he decided to rearrange his shop in the garage. Jake had reorganized his tools, labeling where they all went. After that, he made you a booklet of where everything in the garage was located, just in case you wanted to use something. Jake was very genuine about it, too. As if he really believed you were about to start borrowing his screwdrivers, saws, wrenches, lathe, and various other tools. 

Your frown deepens, and you pull out your phone, shooting a text to your group chat with Marlee and Javy. Answering some of their questions from the morning and shooting back a request of your own. 

After texting with them for a few minutes, you set your phone down on the table, taking the spot next to Jake. He gives you another short look but doesn't say anything. You take a moment to look at the piece he has been staring at for over five minutes at this point. 

Taking it gently from his grasp, you examine it yourself. A moment later, you place the puzzle piece into the correct spot. Jake ghosts over the piece you just placed and taps it twice as your hand retreats. 

"You got to tap it into place," he tells you softly. Then Jake is back digging through his piles, looking for the next piece. 

You help Jake with his puzzle for a little bit, pleasantly surprised at the textured surface of the pieces, enjoying how tactile they are. You know this must be a very expensive and nice puzzle. Any time you place a piece, you make sure to tap it twice for Jake. Each time you do, Jake gives a small nod of approval. The one time you forget, his fingers quickly find the piece again and tap it twice with a small annoyed huff. You don't try and coax Jake into a conversation again, simply enjoying just being with him. 

Y'all's work is broken a while later by the doorbell ringing. The sound startles Jake, and he jumps in his seat and his head snapping towards the door. You place a hand on his shoulder again to try and ease the sudden tension.

 "It's okay," you tell him quietly, giving his shoulder a slight squeeze. "I'll go get it."

"No, I can get it," Jake says, starting to stand up. You know he doesn't like you to answer the front door anymore. He hasn't ever since your dad showed up unannounced. Jake has never explicitly told you he doesn't want you to answer the door. However, you have picked up on it because he has not let you answer the door once since the incident. One time Jake had even sprinted across the house to beat you to the door. 

"Don't worry. I know who it is," you say. Jake gives you a concerned look but then nods a little bit. His eyes trail after you as you make your way to the entry hall. 

You open the door to Javy's tall form and are immediately wrapped in a tight warm hug. You lean into his embrace, enjoying the comfort for a moment. 

"Is it really bad?" Javy asks you in a low voice when you pull away from his hug. 

You shrug but then follow it up with a nod. "Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Maybe not? But it's the worst I have ever seen." 

Javy gives you another reassuring squeeze before he saunters into the house towards the living area. Jake's eyes are trained on the hallway, clearly waiting for you to come back. However, when he sees Javy, he blanches, dropping his eyes back to the puzzle. Jake's shoulders hunching tight almost up to his ears. 

"Hey, Hangman," Javy hums. 

"Machado," Jake says gruffly, fiddling with a piece. 

Javy shocks you by not immediately going over to Jake. Instead, he meanders over to your TV. He shocks you even more by opening a drawer in the entertainment center and pulling out an Xbox. Javy starts hooking up the console, and you shift your eyes to Jake again. 

He is still sitting there digging through his puzzle pieces. You aren't sure what to do. If you should leave the two of them alone, join Javy in the living room, or go back to the table with Jake. So instead, you end up in a weird middle ground lingering in the hallway. Finally, when Javy has everything set up, and the Xbox booted on, he goes over to Jake. Coyote sets his hands down so hard on Jake's shoulders that it jostles the blond a bit. 

"Wow, buddy, this is a nice puzzle," Javy says casually. 

Jake just hums in response, placing a puzzle piece and tapping it twice. Only answering once he picks up another piece. "It's a watercolor by Frederic William Burton. He painted it in — "

"It's time for a break, Hangman," Coyote says, cutting him off mid-sentence. 

"Naw, you see this section," Jake gestures generally towards the entire surface area of the puzzle. "It's almost done."

"Nope, it's break time," Javy repeats more firmly. 

Jake's shoulders hang, and it looks like it takes him physical effort to stand up from the table. Jake's joints and back audibly pop from the action, and he raises his hands above his head to fully stretch. 

You try to root yourself in concern, not thinking of the flash of skin you saw where Jake's shirt rode up a bit. Jake blinks a few times, and when he finishes stretching, he turns to fully look at Javy. 

"How long are you staying?" Jake asks, daring to glance back down at the puzzle. Javy snaps his fingers in front of Jake's face twice and then points aggressively toward the couch. 

"As long as I want to," Javy responds with an upbeat tone and a wide grin. He gives a light shove, and Jake shuffles over to the couch. Jake looks at you as he walks, and you can tell that he feels betrayed. 

"I'll leave you to it," you say, ready to retreat into your room. 

Jake looks away from you then, and you don't like the flash of embarrassment on his face as he does. It's been odd seeing Jake so completely out of his element and uncomfortable in his skin the last few days. Embarrassed wasn't a look that fits well on Jake. It made you want to rush in and remedy the situation. 

"You don't gotta go," Jake calls to you.

"Javy came over to hang out with you, Jake." You say plainly. You want to give them space to talk and hang out. 

"Yeah, bro, feeling the love," Javy says jokingly. It earns him a sharp jab to his side from Jake. The action just makes Javy laugh, though. "Don't worry so much, Hang. Marlee is coming by later with dinner, and then all four of us will kick back, but right now, it's me, you, and the Master Chief." 

"You'll hang out with us later, though? Or are you doing something tonight?" Jake asks, ignoring Javy.  

"There is nothing I would rather do tonight than hang out with you," you tell him. Jake's eyes snap up from where they had drifted to the left, lowered just enough not to meet yours. The burning bright color in them is startling after the dull, distant look he has supported the last few days. You can't stop the words you say next, needing to try and back peddle. It takes a long beat before you say, "and Marls and Javy. I don't know if you've ever had Marlee's green chile enchiladas, but they are to die for." 

"They are so good," Jake agrees enthusiastically and looks down at the controller he is holding for the first time. Javy then shoots you a smile with a thumbs up, and you are reassured enough that you head upstairs and into your room. 

You hear Javy's voice behind you, "You know Marlee only cooks for two reasons." 

You close your door before hearing Jake's answer and resist the urge to eavesdrop. A few hours later, you hear loud yelling and laughter from the living room. Then get a text from Marlee to send the boys to help her get the food out of her car. 

The rest of the night is mostly light, and Jake almost passes for his normal self. He jokes with Coyote, eats two helpings of Marlee's enchiladas, and with you... well, with you, he is hot and cold. One moment Jake will be flirting with you in a heavy bravado, then the next, he falls into a quiet, contemplative silence. Javy has to herd Jake away from his puzzle three separate times. It gets easier to draw Jake back in every time; the last time only took a question directed toward Jake to draw him back to you guys. 

It is a good night, and everyone seems happy at the end. Jake hugs Javy and Marlee goodbye and leaves you to walk your friends out. You let out a small sigh of relief, seeing Jake walk up the stairs and not back to the dining room table. 

You talk with the couple for a few more minutes on the front porch, then hug them goodbye. You are thankful for them, to have such good friends who are willing to be a support system, for you, for Jake, and for their other friends too. It warms your heart, and it feels a lot like family. 

Jake's puzzling is less frenzied after that night, and he starts to reign back in. He has full conversations with you again and goes to the gym after work as well. He follows Javy's rules that had been texted to you both and doesn't puzzle by alone again.

 For the next week or so, Javy and Marlee end up in your living room in the evenings. Keeping Jake from becoming too obsessed, you also notice that he won't let Javy or Marlee touch his puzzle pieces. But when Jake does work on the puzzle, and you are home, he always invites you to join him. 

Jake makes an effort to converse with you while working too. The conversations you two get into range from academic to childhood memories, favorites — books, movies, foods, bands, animals— funny stories, and anything else that would pop in your heads. Of course, each puzzle piece must still be double tapped into place, and you are meticulous about following that rule. 

Puzzling in the evenings with Jake surprisingly becomes one of your favorite times of the day. Sometimes you would even just sit there at the table with Jake, scrolling on your phone while he works on the puzzle. 

Hangman's presence is a comforting steady grounding force, so much so that you can only hope you provide half of that for him. You knew you were roommates, and Jake may not carry the same romantic feelings you do. However, you couldn't deny the plain platonic affection that poured from him, so much you sometimes think M aybe . Maybe he does feel more. 

When you enter the kitchen, you see the puzzle is finished. You go to examine it and realize two pieces are missing. You feel a bit of worry creeping up in you, not sure how Jake will react to having lost pieces and being unable to complete the puzzle. 

You start to look around, checking every chair and bench to make sure a piece hasn't fallen. You shine a light under the couch in case they slipped under there. Then you are flipping up the edge of the rug in the living room and trying to think of any other feasible place the pieces could have disappeared. 

"What are you doing?" you hear, and you snap your head to see Jake standing on the other side of the couch, looking at you bemused. 

"Sorry, I was just looking for your missing pieces," you say, straightening up and fixing the rug. 

Jake quirks an eyebrow then he follows your gaze to the table where his puzzle is. Jake's mouth drops open, lips barely parted, and a soft "Oh." falls out like he didn't even make the sound intentionally. 

"No luck so far, though. I'm sorry. I'm sure they will turn up. Only so many places they could have gone," You say, making sure to project an upbeat, positive tone and attitude. 

Jake looks between you and the puzzle twice before suddenly you are graced with the rarest of Jake Seresin's smiles. It is one you have only seen a handful of times. It's different than his smirk and his confident panty dropping smile. It's not the smile that he gets when he laughs, and his eyes crinkle around the edges or the mouth wide open smile. It's not his practiced perfect smile he uses for pictures. 

No, this smile is closed-mouthed, those pearly whites hidden from view. It's a quirk of his lips like Jake is trying to hold it back from showing it on his face but he isn't entirely successful. His bottom lip is tucked a little bit between his teeth as if he is physically trying to bite back the expression, none of which prevents Jake's dimples from popping up. 

It's a smile that always leaves you a little stunned, and this is no exception. Not that there are many things about Jake that don't leave you feeling that way. This smile, paired with the soft look in his eyes, makes you want to melt into the floor. 

"I have the pieces," Jake tells you then. It takes you a few moments to process his words. 

"Oh, you do?"

"Yeah, I do," he says and pulls out a ziplock baggie from his pocket with the two pieces in it. 

"That's great!"

"They weren't lost. I was saving them, actually."

"Saving them for what?"

"For you. Well, for us."

You don't think you are able to hide your surprise at his words. "For us?"

"Yeah. You know, so we can finish this puzzle together. We worked on it together. So, we should finish it together. Few things match the feeling of putting the final piece of a puzzle into place."

God, you want to kiss him. You want to grab his face and smash your lips against his. You want to taste him and thread your fingers in his short dirty blonde hair. The little fantasy starting to form in your brain is cut off by Jake walking over to the table. 

You follow him there, and Jake sets the last two pieces on the table, letting you pick which one you want. Once you make your selection, Jake grabs the other one. 

"Okay, on three," he tells you with a grin. At his countdown, you both place the pieces of the puzzle. Automatically you double tap your piece into place. Jake was right; it is an extremely satisfying feeling finishing the puzzle and seeing it whole for the first time. 

Your gaze drifts over the puzzle, and you look up to see Jake staring at you instead of the finished piece. After a moment, you realize what is wrong. Your hand reaches across and gently nudges Jake's to the side. Then you tap Jake's piece twice, realizing that for the very first time, he seemed to have missed that compulsion of his. However, you knew it would bother Jake when he realized he had forgotten, so you make sure to complete the ritual. 

Jake's gaze snaps down to the piece you had tapped for him. Then his knuckles purposely brush against the back of your hand, sending shivers up your arm.

"Thank you," spills from both of your mouths at the same time, which makes you laugh.  

"Jinx," Jakes says in a rushed voice, making you laugh harder. That odd tension in the air between you two disappears. 

You walk into the kitchen and grab a white claw from the fridge, bringing it back for Jake, handing it to him. Jake is a strict enforcer of the jinx soda pop rule. The two of you look at the puzzle for a few more minutes. Taking in the stunning painting, the yearning and sadness of it never fails to impact you. 

While the two of you had been working on the puzzle, Jake had told you many different facts about The Meeting On The Turret Stairs. How it was a watercolor painting by Frederic William Burton, the poem it was based on, the era it was painted in, and its place in Irish art. 

When you asked Jake more, he surprised you by knowing hyper-specific details and answers off the top of his head. Intrigued, you learned how he had double majored at Annapolis in Aerospace Engineering and History. However, because Jake was golden boy Midshipman Seresin, he had gotten away with his final history thesis being art focused. Hangman more than understood how to be charming when he needed to be. 

"What now?" You ask him. 

"What do you mean?" Jake asks, confused. 

"What do we do with the puzzle?" you ask. It sounds much better than what you wanted to say. What now between the two of you? What were you going to do to keep spending time together? 

"We take it apart." Jake shrugs. 

"No," you gasp, horrified thinking of all the time you had put into the puzzle just to undo it and throw it back in the box.

"What else would we do?" Jake asks you. You think for a moment before smiling at your own idea. 

"Let's Mod Podge it, and then we can hang it up. We have some pretty bare walls in the house, and it is a stunning piece of art," you suggest. 

Jake doesn't even take a moment to think it over before saying, "I love that idea." 

So, you two are driving to the craft store to get cardboard and Mod Podge. A week later, the puzzle has been cemented and hung on the wall in between your and Jake's rooms upstairs. After the puzzle is finished, Jake is back into his sudoku and his various other reading books. He still lingers near you in the evenings, waiting longer than he used to before retreating to his room for bed. 

One night almost a month after you two had finished the puzzle, Jake brings the subject up again. You two are lounging on the couch, he had just gotten home from watching the Army-Navy game at a bar with some of his friends, and he is definitely a little bit tipsy. 

"I am going to build us a puzzle table," is the first thing he had loudly declared, walking in the door. 

You were instantly worried about why Jake might want to start a new puzzle. "Is everything okay?"

Jake doesn't seem to hear you, though, as he continues on. "A really nice one that opens and closes with velvet or something so we don't have to worry about losing pieces, and maybe I can even make it an adjustable height?" He is talking to himself more than to you. 

You watch as he grabs a notepad and pencil out of a drawer. Then he slumps on the couch. Before you know what's happening or can stop it, Jake has his head on your lap and is sketching design ideas, potential measurements, and materials. 

"How are you doing?" you ask him again, staring down at his face, unable to contain your enamored smile. Jake just nods his head and keeps sketching while mumbling. 

You run a hand through his soft hair tentatively. It is a bit longer than usual right now, almost out of regulation. He will need to get a haircut this week, but the strands are so soft, and you can't help but enjoy that there is a bit more there to run your fingers through. His eyes instantly close, and he hums contently at your touch. 

"Hangman?" you ask him almost teasingly, halting your movements.

"Yes, sugar?" 

"Are you okay?" 

He blinks his eyes open and looks at you. Their gleaming sea glass green color is a little glazed over and so very soft. His mirth is open and obvious to you. "I'm so great. Navy won." 

"That's great. Go Navy." A wide grin splits his face wide, and Jake's eyes actually crinkle closed, hiding their unique color from you again. 

"That's right, Honey. Ooh ahh!" Jake responds automatically, making you both laugh, and maybe you had been drinking a little bit of wine before he came home; perhaps you were warm from that, or maybe Jake was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. Your eyes lock with his, and your hands pull out of his hair. You let one drift trace his face helping him relax the furrow in his eyebrows. 

"Why do you want to start a new puzzle?" You ask. 

"No new puzzle. A new table." He corrects you. Jake taps his pencil on the notepad pointedly. 

"For a new puzzle?"

"You liked doing a puzzle with me, right? Well, after the first bit, you liked it?"

"I loved it." The words slip out of your mouth before you can amend the sentiment to come off less forward.

"Me too,"Jake says and trails off for a moment. Then he continues asking, "So you would be open to doing another one with me? Just for fun this time, not my mental health." Jake doesn't say the last sentence with any bit of shame or embarrassment, which you admire. However, the vulnerability is obvious and glaring. 

"Yeah," you confirm, once again having to run your fingers over his brow to relax his face. 

"Perfect. I'm building the table, then. You can pick the puzzle this time." 

You can't help but let your hands slip back into Jake's hair, and he returns to sketching on his notepad. It was a moment of quiet peace you knew you didn't ever want to let go of. 

"Javy said that you don't like to do puzzles with other people, and that's what helps you pull out of the pit." 

Jake's eyes don't leave his notepad, and he turns the page. You watch Jake start to scrawl the pros of a dovetail joint versus a dowel joint before he starts to draw it out as well. You almost don't think he will say anything back by the time he finally does. 

"You aren't other people," Jake tells you, as he starts drawing in shading, which is completely unnecessary for anything beyond aesthetic. He bends the lines from a basic blueprint to a detailed drawing of a realistic table joint. It was distracting watching the engineer in him flow into the unexpected artist. 

The idea that you ever had thought his talent for art and engineering were such radically different things was a bit funny. Now that you see him dance between the lines back and forth so elegantly that you understand it wasn't two competing sides of Jake. It was just him. It was how he worked and operated. 

It was how he was Hangman and also Jake. It was how he could fill out sudoku then go to bed at 9 pm and how he could shoot pool until closing with the squad. It was how he was a cowboy and a pilot. It was how you wanted to cry a little bit, knowing he enjoyed you there, knowing you weren't like other people. 

And you are struck with the thought that you don't ever want Jake to do a puzzle with anyone but you. You never want to see him sitting alone at three am with bloodshot eyes putting pieces into place again. And you don't even want to consider him explaining animatedly why he believes a piece goes in one color pile and not the one it was originally sorted to anyone but you. 

You want to be selfish with Jake. You want to have him, and you want to keep him close, never letting go. Surely you could convince Jake to be yours. It was a selfish act that could be forgiven if you promised to cherish him. After all, there were worse things in the world than loving someone, so entirely the fact they might not love you to the same degree didn't hurt so much.  

Jake flips to the next page in the notepad and starts to sketch out the living room. As he works, the living room table starts to look significantly different than your current one. 

"Oh. It's for the living room?" You ask him.

At first, he just hums in response, but when he finishes rounding out a line, Jake lifts his pencil from the paper. It pauses there, poised and frozen, as he asks, "Do you want the dining table instead?" 

"No." As you continue, the pencil falls back to the page, "It just wasn't what I was originally thinking."

"I could do a dining room table too. They could even be made of the same wood." Jake says. His green eyes broke from the page to glance up at your face for the first time in a while. He searches your face trying to gauge your reaction to his suggestion. 

"Two puzzle tables?"

"Think of all the possibilities. We could do two puzzles at once." Jake gasps. You kind of hate the excited timbre that Jake's voice picks up at the idea, but you actually mostly love it. 

"Just one puzzle at a time, please." You say, giving his hair a teasing gentle tug, ignoring the sharp inhale of his breath that immediately follows. You refuse to give away the unexpected thrill sent straight through your body that settles at your core. You have to consciously make sure your words do not fall out rushed, "I think it would be nice to have out here, comfier." 

"I thought the exact same thing."

"Oh really?" You ask, amused. 

"Yes, Ma'am. I've got two words for you, puzzle naps." 

You huff a small laugh at him and bite your lower lip. He flips back to his first page of notes, where he had a small list of wood. He adds cherry to his list after oak. 

"Juniper is really pretty," you suggest. He immediately starts to write down your suggestion with a little heart next to it. When Jake starts to shade in the heart, you feel like the one in your chest might actually burst out. Something very similar to butterflies was fluttering around in you, but it is much less nervous and rather born of pure fondness. 

"Sounds beautiful. I'm sure it's perfect," Jake tells you. 

"Let's pick one together, though. It should be our choice."  

"No," Jake says, drawing an elegant oval around juniper. Then he goes back and strikes a straight line through the other options. "No one else has ever remembered to double tap."

Jake spends a few more minutes detailing the design before his eyes start to get sleepy, and his pencil marks become light and halting. It doesn't take much from you to encourage him to go to bed, just a whispered suggestion. 

He stumbles up from the couch and places a kiss on your forehead. Jake puts his notebook on the counter in the kitchen. After that, Jake circles back to press a second lingering kiss to your forehead. You watch him go all the way around the house to double check the locks, the front door, the garage, and the back door. Finally, after sending you two finger guns, Jake drags himself up the stairs, humming Anchors Aweigh. 

"Until we meet once more, here's wishing you a happy voyage home!" You loudly hear him sing. You listen to Jake as he hums his fight song while randomly peppering in other lyrics. When you finally hear him close his door, your mind makes a decision on the war it's been having. 

You are going to do whatever it takes for Jake Seresin to agree to be yours. Potential consequences be damned; Jake is worth the risk.

[restinslices]

Hi I’m the anon who asked about the popstar one! (Loved what you did btw) If it wasn’t too much of a problem I love if you could do the Lin Kuei boys + Syzoth too!

Me finally getting to my requests?! Who would’ve thought. Everyone got around 300 words besides Syzoth, who got 400. Why? No further questions.

Bi-Han

You can change him? Well I can accept him as he is! You don’t like the murders? Grow up! The atrocities are a part of him and I’ve decided they’re funny :D

I know the Lin Kuei are a part of Earthrealm but are they allowed to have technology? 

For the sake of this, imma say technology is very very limited 

With that being said, what do you mean you're a pop star? It's not that he doesn't know what it is, he just doesn't get why. All the things you could be doing and popstar is where you landed 

I don't wanna make it seem like everyone is supportive but him but this is Bi-Han. He's going to judge 

He's the Grandmaster so he's always busy. Going to concerts isn't happening and honestly? He doesn't give me the vibes of someone who's a fan of concerts 

He doesn't hate your job, he just genuinely doesn't get it 

Remember how I said Kung Lao will give you brutally honest advice? Same goes for him. You can always trust the truth to come outta him (unless it's about the father he let die but anyway)

I don't see him doing anything special. I don't see him buying posters or tickets or streaming or concerts. He cares for you but doesn't see the need to do all that. 

If he did stream he'd probably just put the video on repeat on his phone and go do other shit. At the same time though, do they even have cell service? Where is Lin Kuei HQ??

Absolutely refuses to add ice or snow to your set for an MV. Be a team player. Damn. Stop thinking everything is beneath you.

“That is entirely beneath me” “aight, I guess you don’t want me beneath you”

He apologizes for his outburst (I was making that joke happen by any means necessary)

I just think he's the most nonchalant about dating a celebrity. Probably forgets you're a popstar

Loses a piece of his sanity everytime a Lin Kuei ninja loses their mind over you. Actually wants to join his father in the afterlife. How y'all even seeing these performances? Y'all sneaking off?!

You're disturbing his peace but hey, it is what it is 

Kuai Liang

Also doesn't understand why that job, but he's less judgmental than Bi-Han. Not everyone can defend Earthrealm. 

I also don't see him doing a lot. He's busy and also he's just not interested in being around a bunch of sweaty ass fans. Nothing against you 

If he did buy your merch I think he'd set it in like, a box. He only bought it to be supportive. He's not gonna hang it up or anything. To be honest, he might give it to the rest of the guys (Johnny, Kenshi, Kung Lao, Raiden and Liu Kang)

I see the Lin Kuei as private and not really interactive when it comes to normal citizens so I honestly don't know what to say for them 😭

I don't even know if Kuai Liang likes pop music. Him and Bi-Han give me the vibes of someone who listens to white noise to past time 

Like Bi-Han, he's nonchalant about the whole celebrity thing. 

Probably doesn't even have a phone. He probably got an old ass mp3 player. What are you doing with that?

If your songs are more calm and chill, I can see him liking it when you sing while he does something 

Popstars wear dramatic ass outfits and this is definitely when he starts judging you 

“How does it look?” “It… looks”

He's used to practical outfits so I think he subconsciously spots all the ways your outfits could injure you 

“You could be easily spotted” “That's the whole point”

Will he add fire to an MV for background effects? Possibly. He has to have nothing else to do and be absolutely bored out of his mind to do so. Bi-Han says no out of spite and “this is beneath me”. Kuai Liang initially says no and has the same “this is beneath me” thought process, but he folds easier. There's certain things he is absolutely not doing though

“I am not saying 'get over here’ for you” “You're so not fun”

This relationship feels like a hostage situation but oh well

Tomas Vrbada 

He wants to be as stern and serious as his brothers but we all know I babygirlify him so it's not happening 

He doesn't have a phone but he asks Johnny to use his and have your shit on repeat for the views 

Idk why but I feel like he's a Twice stan so he's no stranger to pop music. I have no reliable sources for this 

I could see him buying pins and keeping them in his pocket since he can't have it on his outfit 

I don't think for any of the brothers, your fans would know you're dating which is something they'd want. They're assassins. They can't be all over the internet. 

Doesn't go to concerts because he can't. Such a sad life 

Gives background smoke for effects cause he's a team player 

Wants to be the first to hear anything you're working on 

Gives you honest advice but nicely 

I think he has conflicting feelings about you always being in the spotlight. He loves that you're happy but is also worried because that comes with danger and if smth were to happen, there's a good chance he wouldn't be there 

I feel like Tomas can lowkey sing (once again no reliable sources present) so karaoke? karaoke. 

You could talk him into doing a collab but it'd never be released. It'd just be for you two 

He wants to keep up with everything you're doing as it's happening but once again, no phone. Instead he just checks in with you whenever he sees you 

The most aware out of the brothers that he's dating a celebrity. 

Probably the brother you'd feel the most supported by because he's the most expressive (?). He makes his support very known and doesn't question why you're doing what you're doing 

He doesn't give me as much Ken energy as Johnny does, but he still gives me “Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him”. Like I said for Johnny, you're Barbie regardless of gender 

Syzoth

Does Zaterra or Outworld even have popstars? For comedy sake, imma say not exactly 

He was ran out of Zaterra and he was working for Shang Tsung, so even if they do he had no time to actually enjoy music 

So when he hears you're a popstar, he has no idea what you're talking about. You have to genuinely explain what your job is, what you do, what's a tour, what's merch, etc. etc. 

Like the Lin Kuei Bros, he has no phone. He doesn't understand technology at all. He's like a grandpa fr, so his interactions with your music is slim to none when it comes to music videos 

Explain it to him as many times as you want. He doesn't get it. 

You have to actually show him the video on your phone. You have to show him any merch you have so he can pick whatever he wants and you can sneak it to him 

Prefers you singing for him live rather than watching a music video but he watches them anyway because you're really proud of them 

Like Tomas, he likes little pins or other little trinkets 

Since he was in a traveling circus, he knows what performing is but you're getting paid and treated fairly which he finds fantastic 

He is slightly worried tho from his time being in said circus. You have to explain that they're two different things (sorta, not really) and you're ok 

Has no idea what's going on but is supportive anyway

He tries really hard to understand Earthrealm customs and culture to better understand you. Is he successful? Probably depends on the subject 

He doesn't get merch at all or why it's so stupidly expensive. If you weren't giving it to him for free, he probably wouldn't buy it to be honest. He likes that you're proud of how it looks but why is it necessary for success? He just doesn't understand it 

Concerts he somewhat gets. The idea is cute but once he sees videos of people fainting, he swears he's never going to one of those 

Does not want your fans to know you're dating him. Does not want to be in any of your videos as himself or a lizard. Wants nothing to do with the spotlight. He has trauma with being known. 

It'll take awhile to explain to him what fan culture and memes are, but he's ready to learn for you. 

Idk if I wanna write more silly shit or angst shit. I guess we’ll find out next episode

[elleloquently]

invisible string [8] : ellie williams

part seven

| college!ellie x female!reader - welcome to the final part of invisible string! i am so sad to be ending this short series, but extremely excited for you all to read it!! i really hope you'll like it... a lot of time was spent getting it right (: thank you guys for being so patient with me! also- thank you to all of my readers <3 special shout out to those of you who have been following this story since the first part was posted. your kindness and encouragement has meant everything to me <3 ilysm

| c/w - anxiety, swearing

it was jarring, the transition from speaking to not.

your friendship with ellie started all at once and fizzled out even quicker, no lasting proof besides the sticky notes that remained on your wall.

it felt silly, looking at them everyday. you wondered if it was inappropriate, keeping them around and on display. truthfully, you still had a little bit of hope left. if you took them down, that would certainly be the end.

she was only a part of your life for a short time, but the week had felt empty without ellie.

ellie hadn't made a move, so you didn't either.

the time apart made it easier to think though, easier to differentiate your thoughts without ellie clouding your senses.

normal friendships shouldn't feel so dramatic. they shouldn't have so many lingering stares, ghosting touches, and unsaid words. at least, you didn't think so. you hadn't experienced a friendship like that before. desperate to say it all yet too scared to say anything at all, you simultaneously wanted to tell ellie everything yet keep yourself a secret, a closed off book forever.

normal friendships shouldn't require that much thought.

the idea nagged at you continuously and you had no choice but to allow it. it was december, finals were wrapping up and the promise of winter break was no longer just around the corner, it was here.

things were always a little awkward, even when they were good. tension.

things hadn't felt weird in a bad way until the mention of jesse and dina. any color had promptly drained from ellie's face, and she was too quick to get away. you were confident that you hadn't misspoke. surely it was something on ellie's end, but it bothered you nonetheless. you had to have been apart of it.

thinking about ellie made you feel selfish, because it almost felt vain to weigh the ways in which she could potentially care about you. reading into stolen glances was a pastime that possibly could've been increasing your vanity. you didn't typically have such thoughts such as oh, i look pretty today, that must be why she keeps looking at me.

you missed looking at ellie. how pathetic but true, it had only been a few days but surely your journal was tired of hearing about it.

you quickly learned that ellie seemed a little impulsive, driven by her stubbornness. well, two can play at that game. you wouldn't even text her.

you half hoped that your absence would make her grow more fond at the idea of you, though maybe you had only pushed her away further. no texts, no anything.

sure, it was finals week. but still.

half of your clothes were packed away, piles around your room that you would swear was an organized method. studying didn't really do you any good, your last final was here and you were drained. you felt like an idiot for being more concerned about ellie, but you had done fine in the class all semester anyway.

snow was finally starting to pile on the ground. you would appreciate the beauty more after your final was finished, when it didn't matter if your hair grew wet from the melting flakes.

campus was quiet and relatively empty as you hurried to the building in which your final would take place. you liked being early, and refused to push the time limit for an exam. maybe the thought of seeing ellie again made your feet move a little quicker, but you focused on rehearsing the study guide in your head during your walk.

your heart pounded with every step. despite actually enjoying the class, you never felt relaxed at the idea of an exam. you had been so focused on ellie, it didn't really sink in that you would be sitting still in a silent room, clock ticking quietly as you would try your best to answer each question. what if you couldn't even focus?

it was too late to worry, and too early to resign yourself yet.

you made it in time, twenty minutes early, your specialty, but quite a few people already occupied the classroom. it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, though. people usually arrived early for finals. the satisfied smile slipped off of your lips however when you noticed that ellie wasn't around.

your heart dropped.

did she opt to take the exam early? what if you had already saw her for the last time, and you had no idea?

you sunk into your seat, wanting to text ellie but you were starting to forget the wording of a definition that you were trying to memorize last minute. sparing a quick glance at your phone, you decided to pull out your study guide instead for a last review.

how the fuck were you supposed to focus?

it was technically still early, but you pulse quickened everytime someone that wasn't ellie walked into the room.

what if ellie wasn't coming? even if things were weird, you guys had become friends. it would be fucked up just to never say bye, right? unless she wasn't as emotionally invested in the situation as you were... which, let's be honest...

the door was heaved open once again and you tried not to look disappointed when in walked a guy from your class. you refocused your gaze on your study notes when suddenly a muttered "thank you" pulled you out of your thoughts.

the guy was holding the door open for someone, but you didn't need to look to know who it was.

in walked ellie, shoulders straight and eyes set. you opened your mouth, ready to say something, but she walked right past you and towards the desk that she previously sat in, before you became friends.

your eyebrows furrowed and it felt like the final nail.

but she hesitated.

ellie hesitated before backpedaling and sat down in the empty spot next to you. the act alone practically gave you an ego.

she didn't glance at you even once, and somehow that felt even more obvious than if she would've looked at you. despite the circumstance you felt giddy, determined to redeem yourself for a mistake that you didn't even make.

you eyed ellie. she was trying so hard not to glance in your direction, it was cute. you had to try. you'd regret it if you didn't. you mentally debated which was worse, regret or embarrassment.

"so," you began, wanting to sound confident instead of squeaky with nerves. "on a scale of one to ten, how fucked do you think you are for the final?"

ellie's eyes widened and you tried, you really did, not to break out into a grin.

you continued. "i think i'm standing at a solid..." you pretended to think, drawing your eyebrows together as you looked to the ceiling, but you already knew what you were going to say. "...six?"

ellie snorted. "do you just memorize everything that i say?" she quipped, finally turning toward you.

your smile was sly once you looked away from her. "i don't know what you're talking about?"

ellie rolled her eyes, but you were finally speaking again and it was so good. a little late maybe, but good.

"don't copy me," ellie said, her words clipped. you knew she was joking. "anyway, you're gonna do better than a six. you organize your notes like a crazy person."

you frowned at the teasing statement but your heart skipped a beat anyway. ellie couldn't seem to meet your eyes and it made you feel greedy, desperate to get to the bottom of things.

"how have you been?" you asked, casually enough.

ellie looked at you as though you had posed a trick question.

"it's finals week," she replied flatly, but there was something else there.

you nodded. "right, but..." you quietly trailed off. there was no point in starting a big conversation with the exam merely minutes away.

ellie seemed visibly uncomfortable.

"the last time we talked, i..." ellie began to speak without knowing where she was going to end her sentence. you really needed to memorize that definition from earlier.

you flung open your notes. "it's fine," you dismissed. it wasn't really, but maybe you didn't want to do this now.

ellie winced. "it's not," she disagreed.

last week she had practically left you in the dust. now she wants to get confrontational?

"ellie," you frowned. "do you want to look through my notes? i have the ones from the section that i helped you with, that day in the library?" you looked up curiously, hand hovering over the pages incase she accepted.

ellie laughed, short and breathy. "i'm okay."

her tone was polite and light, a drastic change from how awkward she was just being. you carried on, quickly scanning paragraphs. cramming was never helpful, but you couldn't help yourself.

"i didn't really need your notes," ellie mumbled, looking away from you and at her hands instead.

you barely caught on to the uttered confession. "hm?"

her words took a second to register in your brain, to which you finally pulled your gaze away from your notes.

"are you declining my help in a passive aggressive way, or do you have something to say?" you asked quickly, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you could think it over. the classrooms were always too hot this time of year. your hands felt too dry and the feeling of them against paper was driving you crazy.

"what? no," ellie quickly corrected, shifting nervously in her seat.

you leaned over to unzip your bag that was on the floor, leaning against your chair. "i was just asking," you mumbled, pulling a small bottle of lotion from it's secure place in your bag.

ellie watched carefully as you applied a small amount to your hands. the sweet, floral notes reached her nose and she craned her neck in an attempt to read the scent name on the decorated tube.

"ellie?" you pressed, zipping your bag shut once again when you were finished with the lotion. ellie's sentence was unfinished, and you were running on little to no patience.

"i'm sorry," she breathed out. it wasn't what you were expecting and you blinked in surprise.

you would've clung to her every word, but you'd rather it be saved until your finals were over. you couldn't tell if it was a good i'm sorry or a bad one, and the result might genuinely impact your grade. it had to be discussed, you couldn't live with it being left alone. you debated biting the bullet and just asking if she wanted to hang out, but the idea of rejection made you hot in the face.

there it was again, regret or embarrassment.

if she said no, the embarrassment would most likely creep over you every night when you tried to sleep, but at least you wouldn't have to face her again. last chance.

you came out of your thought by noticing the dejected look on ellie's face. right, she said sorry.

"ellie," you tried again. "are you busy after this... or, or tonight?" you tried not to make it sound weighted, but you didn't think that you succeeded.

something of a surprised smile registered on ellie's face that she tried to suppress.

"after this?" ellie questioned, her words rushed. there wasn't much time to converse anymore. the final exam was looming.

you nodded. ellie blinked. "yes. sure," she responded, a little dazed.

satisfaction bloomed within you. it wasn't over yet.

thank god, you didn't have to work your way through this exam battling tears of rejection and heartache.

you wanted to say more, but the time that you had been prepping for weeks was finally upon you. you were stupidly emotional about the class ending. this class brought you ellie. this final was the reason for your budding friendship with ellie. you didn't want whatever this was with ellie to end with the class. you would finish the exam, and then you would talk.

"hey," ellie muttered, getting your attention quickly before the exams were handed out. "good luck," she said warmly.

you didn't bother hiding your smile. "good luck," you replied sincerely. you spared ellie one more quick glance before tuning in to focus.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie left the exam before you did. she had finished first, only by a few minutes, but your heart raced. you were nearly done, just checking over answers when ellie had stood up, turned in her final, and left. she looked back at you before she had walked out of the doors. you had made eye contact. and then she was gone.

you skimmed all of the pages, making sure you had answered every question. your stomach hurt. did she leave? did she just leave?!

granted, of course, you could text her later. hopefully she would respond. but it was hard to make sense of any rational thoughts after the image of her leaving.

you did your best. you even felt fairly confident. you blindly gathered your things and turned in your exam, wishing your professor a final farewell and a happy winter break.

you pulled your phone out of your pocket upon exiting the classroom, hoping to see a text from ellie. instead, you simply saw ellie.

"oh," you said audibly.

ellie's head snapped up as soon as you appeared in the hallway. she was sitting on a bench outside of the classroom. she was waiting.

"how'd it go?" she asked hopefully.

you breathed a sigh of relief that turned into a laugh. she waited for you. the weight of the exam had been lifted off of your shoulders. now the only thing left that was bringing you down was where you stood with ellie.

"it's over," you mused, relieved that for a little while, there would be no assignments or tests to leave you in a tizzy. "what about you?"

ellie smiled in response, but her expression was lacking happiness. "we're free."

you nodded slowly, wanting to get on with it but at the same time feeling perfectly content with the small talk.

"so," you started, but the classroom door flung open causing you to flinch. another student completed the exam, exiting into the hallway. you stepped aside, drawing closer to ellie. "wanna get out of here?"

"do you have the time?" ellie questioned, looking at you almost accusingly.

your eyes narrowed. "yes," you emphasized. "that was my last exam. I am officially on winter break. also... you were the one that disappeared the last time we talked."

ellie paled, focusing her gaze on her converse. "yeah. about that..."

a small group of people came down the hallway. ellie stood up and gave you a look. "let's get out of here," she affirmed.

you trailed behind her, wringing your hands. what exactly were you even supposed to say? was this supposed to be some sort of all or nothing situation, because you really weren't very good at those...

once ellie noticed that you weren't at her side, she halted. "are... you okay?" she asked, looking unsure.

you nodded, eyes wide. you could see out of the doors, snow was falling once again. it was really starting to stick to the ground, too. the sight made your heart swell. "'it's snowing," you mumbled, awkwardly gesturing with your hand.

ellie let out a dry chuckle. "yeah, it is," she remarked, a soft smile painting itself on her lips. "wanna go to my dorm?"

you nodded once more, absentmindedly. ellie held the door open and you stepped outside, mentally welcoming the snow.

the walk was quiet. awkward. neither of you bothered with anymore small talk. it felt weird, saving the conversation until you arrived in ellie's dorm. you were anxious to see if she still had your doodles on her wall.

you made it in record time, motivated by the cold and slippery sidewalk. ellie laughed at you once you entered the building, stomping your shoes to rid them of any snow.

"you have snowflakes. in your eyelashes," ellie murmured, placing a careful hand under your chin to direct your gaze so she could examine them.

you stilled and held your breath, the feeling of her touch warming your body so much that you felt desperate to shed your coat.

"they'll melt," you whispered with an uneasy laugh.

ellie caught herself and removed her touch. your stomach flipped.

"i thought one time you said something about not liking when they melted on your eyelashes. something about your mascara running?" ellie teased, leading the way to her room.

"yeah, so i buy waterproof," you explained as if it were obvious.

ellie clicked her tongue and unlocked her door. "right. silly me," she breathed, stepping aside to let you into her room first. every action like that brought you butterflies.

you tried not to make it obvious, but you immediately looked for the notes on her wall. once your eyes landed on them, you breathed a sigh of relief. they were still there. suddenly you didn't feel so weird about keeping them on your wall either.

the room smelled like ellie. you wanted to soak it in.

ellie took off her coat, placed her bag on the floor and then dropped her coat on top of it. you followed suit, tucking your bag into a corner and shrugging off your coat. you were going to put it on the floor too, but ellie grabbed it from your hand and hung it on the back of a chair.

your cheeks warmed and you looked away.

"i feel like we should be studying or something," you tried with a small laugh.

"or something," ellie mused.

she sat on her bed, legs hanging over the side. you stood in front of ellie, avoiding eye contact.

"can i get you anything?" ellie awkwardly offered after a moment. "i don't have much left but i can offer you the water that's left in my bottle."

you rolled your eyes despite the corners of your lips, which quirked upwards. "charming. i'll pass, thank you."

"suit yourself," ellie sighed.

you were both trying way too hard to sound nonchalant. you hated it.

you stood awkwardly, not sure what to do with your hands. after a moment of hesitation, you finally made the plunge.

"ellie, did i like... say something? or do... something?"

you were scared of her answer, scared that maybe you really had been embarrassing yourself all along and now you wouldn't hear the end of it.

she looked resigned. you could tell that she was debating something, the way her eyes flicked away from your face and her eyebrows drew together.

"you didn't do anything," ellie confirmed. you could tell that she was physically working up to something. "i thought maybe... dina and jesse? i thought they might've said something stupid," she uttered.

you tilted your head in confusion, but your heart beat sped up. your mind flashed back to that moment, someone that ellie likes.

"they didn't," you reassured.

"yeaah, that's what they said too. i guess i just kinda... freaked." ellie replied, scratching the back of her neck.

"they were really nice," you offered awkwardly. "i didn't mean to make you feel weird or anything."

you even tried to avoid it, but you didn't have to explain that now. it's not like you would have actually hung out with dina and jesse... no offense to them of course, but you didn't know them so the idea made you feel extremely uncomfortable.

"you didn't," ellie pressed, adamant about not making you feel bad. "i thought that maybe i did."

you scrunched up your nose. "is that why you said the thing about freaking me out? because you really didn't."

ellie nodded. "i just thought they said something dumb. or something they shouldn't have said," she reiterated. ellie kicked off her converse.

your eyes widened, immediately thinking the worst. surely ellie was not the type of person to be nice to your face and then talk poorly about you to her friends? you honestly felt that if she didn't like you, you obviously wouldn't be standing in her room. still, the nagging thought persisted.

"something like what?" you asked, your voice coming out sharper than you intended.

"nothing bad, i just- dude, i feel like i'm on trial when you're just standing there like that."

your cheeks heated in embarrassment. "sorry," you mumbled, taking off your shoes and carefully tucking them next to your bag. you sat on the edge of her bed, and ellie turned to face you.

ellie's eyes scanned your features once you sighed.

"this is so dumb," you muttered. to your surprise, ellie laughed in relief.

"i was being weird. and i shouldn't have been," ellie clarified. "i'm sorry i made you feel bad."

the sincerity made you feel awkward. "it's okay. we're good?"

"we're good," ellie confirmed.

you blinked, forcing a smile onto your face. you were ready for this part to be over but there was still so much to be said.

you tore your eyes away from ellie, studying the solar system poster above her bed. "i still haven't seen the planetarium," you uttered wistfully.

ellie tilted her head, staring at you while you were unaware. "i'll take you," she said automatically, the words leaving her before she was able to doubt herself.

a ghost of a smile flickered on your lips.

"i think i've only been to a planetarium a couple times, as a kid," you said, eyes glancing over the starry map.

ellie smiled, quickly glancing from your lips to your eyes.

"for my sixteenth birthday, joel took me to this awesome museum," ellie began. her tone was wistful yet determined, voice laced with her best storytelling inflections.

you turned to face her again. ellie's eyes lit up while she spoke.

"it was a science and history museum," ellie explained. you smiled at her easy enthusiasm. "-and it had this planetarium that was the coolest fucking thing i've ever seen."

the smile quickly left your lips once your mouth dropped open in realization. "oh! the pictures!" you scrambled off of ellie's bed, leaving her to look confused and mildly concerned.

"pictures?" she questioned, getting up to follow after you. you lead her to the wall that was covered in all of her drawings and photos. you could've sworn that you remembered them. you scanned her wall, looking for two pictures in particular as your face scrunched up in concentration.

"there!" you pointed excitedly. the two photos that you remembered, ellie in an astronaut helmet grinning wildly at the camera, and ellie and joel wearing hats, posed in front of a massive dinosaur display.

"are those from your birthday?" you asked, stomach twisting with your words. you hoped that you were right, or else it might be embarrassing. maybe it was embarrassing anyway, the fact that you had so vividly remembered those photos.

ellie chuckled. "yeah actually, they are."

ellie bumped your shoulder, causing you to grin at her decorated wall.

"i love how many pictures you have," you sighed. "i have such a cute camera, but i always forget to take pictures in the moment." you explained with a frown.

"bring it when we go to the planetarium," ellie suggested plainly, as if her entire sentence didn't completely cause your pulse to quicken.

when.

we.

"okay," you replied flatly, wondering if ellie could tell how uneven your breathing had gotten. fueled by blind courage, you stared at astronaut ellie when you spoke. "i'm leaving tomorrow, though. going home for break."

"we'll go after break," she clarified, looking at you.

you turned your head to meet her eyes, willing yourself not to flinch at how close your faces were. the green of her eyes were always enchanting, but this close?

you swallowed hard. "okay," you agreed.

and it was official. ellie wanted to keep seeing you after break. you had done the impossible college task, turn a class friend into a real friend.

friend. honestly, it was laughable.

"okay," ellie repeated in a whisper. her eyes bore into yours and you were frozen, wanting to pull away but your body stayed still, feet planted. she was so intense.

you forced your body to move, turning your head away from her and taking a step back. you heard ellie sigh as you moved.

"i was never trying to blow you off," you confessed suddenly, once your back was to ellie.

you obviously had caught her off guard by the way in which she hummed in surprise. admittedly, you had caught yourself off guard too, but it had been weighing on your conscience too much. you couldn't ignore the signs anymore, and as much as you would have loved to wait around for ellie to make the first move, she was too concerned about potentially freaking you out.

"remember when you asked me if i wanted to go to the dining hall with you? the first time," you clarified. "and i said that i was free the rest of the day." you busied yourself by straightening the green throw blanket on ellie's bed.

ellie nodded, even though your back was turned. "yeah?"

"and then i stopped hanging out with you after class."

"yeah."

"i... um, i lied," you confessed suddenly, whirling around to face her.

ellie's features were etched in confusion. "lied about what?" she pressed, her voice low.

all of your insecurities felt heightened by how intensely she was staring at you. you felt cowardly, explaining the next part.

"i lied about being free?" you mumbled, face hot.

ellie's eyebrows knitted together, as if to say go on...

"i have another class on those days, like, about an hour later. but... i lied and said i was done for the day because... i wanted to... hang out?"

you mentally lost your footing but got there eventually, holding your breath once you finished your sentence. the silence was daunting until ellie suddenly laughed.

"are you fucking kidding me?" she asked, eyes wide.

"n-no?"

ellie shook her head. "why didn't you just tell me that?" ellie laughed, clearly amused.

"because it's embarrassing?" you said, believing it to be obvious.

"well, yeah," ellie mused. you visibly deflated.

ellie managed to hold back her laughter as she took a small step towards you. "you could've told me," she reiterated more seriously.

"sure i could've," you mumbled, rolling your eyes. "i was too nervous. it felt so stupid."

"you skipped class to hang out with me?" ellie's eyes glinted with bemusement. you wished she would stop looking at you, you needed a break. you quite literally felt like you were burning up.

"so what?" you snapped in defense, and ellie's laughter escaped her. you frowned, crossing your arms.

"i just wish that i knew that before," ellie shrugged, taking another step towards you. you countered it by taking a small step backwards.

"yeah well..." you shrugged. "i'm sorry. it's weird."

ellie immediately shook her head. "it's not," she pressed. she went from joking to being serious so quickly. god she made your head spin.

"i just didn't wanna-" you were quickly cut off by ellie.

"freak me out?" she finished. your blank expression was enough of a confirmation.

"imagine how i felt," ellie pointed out. "i thought that maybe i... i don't know," she shrugged it off. it wasn't fair, you were totally embarrassed and she kept brushing things off. it was infuriating. she looked so cute in her hoodie.

"maybe you what?" you pressed once again. finish your sentences, ellie.

ellie took a deep breath. "maybe i scared you off."

you shook your head slowly. yeah, these conversations were not typical in normal friendships.

"you didn't," you said. your words were quiet but weighted. you prayed for ellie to catch onto the implication. please please please-

ellie took a step closer. you took a step back. your body knocked against ellie's bed and you straightened your knees.

"good," she said simply, not breaking eye contact.

"okay, enough about that," you laughed weakly. "why did you want to hang out with me in the first place?" you questioned, attempting to change your tone.

ellie's eyebrows raised. "seriously?" she asked flatly, unimpressed with your question.

whatever. this so wasn't fun.

"how would you recommend going about making friends?" ellie asked tauntingly.

"oh, you're putting me on the spot again. let's not do that anymore," you suggested. ellie laughed suddenly and rolled her eyes.

"my bad," she joked, throwing her hands in the air to resign. you smiled but the butterflies in your stomach made you feel sick.

you threw her an accusing look but she grinned, enjoying whatever this situation was. you almost felt jealous, wondering what it was that you could have possibly done that managed to boost her confidence.

"besides, you never answer any of my questions," you argued.

"well you just have so many," ellie mumbled and then frowned. "and yes i do," she defended. "i just answered your question about those pictures being from my birthday."

"ellie," you complained.

ellie mocked your tone, saying your name as a complaint.

you appeared unamused, willing the corners of your lips not to turn up.

ellie dropped the joke-y smile and genuinely appeared to be conflicted. you worried that you pressed too far, maybe things didn't need to come out right now, but you stayed silent anyway.

"fine," ellie finally said. "ask me."

"ask you what?" you quickly questioned.

"just ask me."

heart pounding, you remained still as ellie took another hesitant step towards you. you felt as though there were so many things that could go wrong. it was all dangling, right in front of you. one wrong move or one right move, you couldn't decide which it was, and everything would be out in the open. you were terrified, wanting to immediately backpedal but at the same time, you were starting to feel addicted to the adrenaline of being around ellie. you wanted to ask her so many questions but also, nothing at all.

at once it came to you, and the final exam that you had just taken felt like it had been days ago.

you wrinkled your nose. "what did you mean when you said you didn't really need my notes?"

the expression that registered on ellie's face made you feel as though you had asked the incorrect question.

"i just mean, you didn't say that you don't need my notes, you said that you didn't need my notes which doesn't make sense because-"

"i lied," ellie cut you off.

you gaped at her and ellie took another step, this one even more hesitant. you couldn't move away any further. you resigned and sat down on her bed.

"about what?" you asked, and your voice came out more quiet than you had intended. you felt like your heart was pounding in your ears.

"i didn't need your notes."

"i know, you said you didn't but-"

"no, i didn't need your notes," ellie tried again. "i never needed your notes."

she was treading lightly and you could tell. ellie tried meeting your eyes, but you stared down at your hands in your lap.

"you never needed my notes," you repeated softly.

ellie nodded once, encouraging your train of thought. she let it linger, only for a moment before clarifying. "in the library. the study group."

what?

"you never needed my notes?" your head snapped up, eyes wide as you finally met ellie's gaze. she slowly shook her head, trying to gage your reaction.

you felt humiliated, as if you had forced ellie to study with you even though that certainly wasn't the case at all. she had even encouraged it, initiated it even, but dread still filled a pit in your stomach.

"but you said that you were there for the study group!" you said, grasping for straws. ellie chuckled.

"yeah, i was. just not for the reason you thought."

you tilted your head to the side. "go on," you said, raising an eyebrow.

"i didn't need help. i wasn't there to get help. i was actually there to give help, but the person didn't show up," ellie explained.

you blinked once, slowly. you repeated her words in your mind. you let it sink in.

"oh my god," you muttered, partly in disbelief. "why did you let me help you?"

"becauuse," ellie carefully sat next to you. "i figured... if you thought that i needed help, you would stay."

her expression remained stoic despite the red blush that was creeping up onto her face. your stomach flipped.

"and i stayed," you uttered.

"you stayed," ellie confirmed. "mission accomplished," she offered weakly.

she wanted you to stay. she acted like she needed your notes so you would stay.

ellie was watching you carefully, but you didn't feel pressured to react. you wiped your palms on your pants.

"okay," you began calmly. "i hate study groups. i hate the awkward conversation, being around people that never actually speak to me. i never go to those things. the only reason that i went was because you asked me about it in class. and so i thought that i might see you there. and i wanted to see you," you added the last part, letting the words fall into the open.

"you're fucking with me," ellie immediately said.

"i'm not," you argued, defensive and buzzing.

ellie clicked her tongue in disbelief, eyeing you. shorter strands of hair always fell into her face. you wanted to swipe them away.

"jesus," ellie mused.

"is that why you wanted me to stay? you wanted to be friends?"

ellie winced at friends, and you inwardly cringed.

dear god.

"not friends," you quickly clarified. "well, friends, but..." your voice failed you, but maybe it was for the better. you wished you weren't wearing a sweater, too warm.

ellie said your name, quietly to get your attention. you met her eyes. her mouth slipped into a sly smile when she spoke.

"i sat next you because i thought that you were pretty," she uttered pointedly.

oh! like like like!

your mind and face went blank. "oh," you laughed after a second.

"oh?" ellie questioned, watching you carefully.

ellie leaned into you, elbows propped on her legs. you swallowed hard. you felt like you were watching yourself instead of actively experiencing what was happening. it was dreamlike.

"you're the only reason i haven't skipped class all semester," you blurted out. you grimaced, twisting it into a nervous smile. okay, sure, no time like the present.

ellie looked at you curiously, cocking her head to the side. "really?"

"really," you confirmed, running your fingers along the blanket on her bed.

"you definitely weren't obvious," ellie murmured, looking at you in amusement.

"i wasn't supposed to be, are you kidding? this is humiliating."

"is it?" ellie questioned, eyebrows raised in concern despite the smirk on her face.

"sort of? oh my god, i feel so dumb. i had the biggest-" you paused in hesitation, the word crush hadn't been used yet and you were reluctant to be the first.

like like like!

"i wanted to talk to you all semester," you corrected, still burning with embarrassment. "and when you sat next to me, well, i know that technically i sat next to you but that was my seat first so really all i was doing was sitting in my normal seat where i had sat every other day but then you decided to move seats so really-"

you rambles were cut off, surprisingly, pleasantly, by ellie leaning inwards and placing her hands on your shoulders. you were suddenly pulled towards her as ellie closed the gap between the two of you.

her lips, warm and a little chapped, met your own without a moment's notice. your eyes widened in surprise before you forced them shut, melting into ellie as she brought a careful hand to the side of your face. your heart pounded, butterflies exploded in your stomach and yet you tried not to think, only to enjoy it.

like!

the kiss lasted merely seconds before ellie pulled away, lifting her hands away from you. they hovered above you, the ghost of her touch lingering. you already missed it. ellie quickly scanned your face for any indication of feeling.

you were lost for words, every hopeless hope that you had held and carried with you for weeks turned out not to be hopeless after all. now probably wasn’t the best time to feel shy, but nerves consumed you.

despite them though, you laughed. “so when jesse said someone that ellie likes…”

“yes,” ellie confirmed.

you grinned. “me too.”

“yeah?” ellie asked softly.

you hummed in response, allowing your eyes to flutter shut as ellie leaned in once again. you allowed yourself to be kissed, drowning out your nervous feelings with complete and total bliss.

you pulled away first this time, drawing your knees up to your chest.

"how long?" you inquired, peering to the spot on the wall where the sticky notes were on display.

"since the first day, when a pretty girl was in my class and i had to take the seat in front of her."

"me?" you whispered, as if you were being let in on a secret. in a way, you supposed, you were.

ellie nodded enthusiastically.

"me too," you said with a frown. "good thing you finally spoke to me, 'cause class would've ended before i had the chance."

"good thing," ellie agreed with a hum. you wanted to kiss her again.

"so, is there a reason i got invited to lunch? they said something about you canceling all the time," you mused.

ellie waved it off. "just dina being dina. i was canceling but... there was only so much time left in the semester to try and impress you," ellie joked wistfully.

you shook your head in disbelief. "i can't believe this."

"you? what about me?" ellie countered. "when i saw you that night at the bar, with that guy? god, i was fucking praying that you didn't have a boyfriend or something."

"cute," you responded simply, to which ellie wrinkled her nose.

"oh, and when i gave you my number?" ellie continued on, talking animatedly now. "and you didn't text me at all during the entire weekend?" ellie shook her head, letting out a breathy laugh. "i thought it was over for me."

"i was so scared," you admitted.

"it's okay," ellie reassured you. "we got to the bottom of it."

you smiled, looking at your hands. the silence that ensued was comfortable.

"were you ever going to tell me?" you asked finally.

ellie sighed heavily, scanning your face. "i don't know. i wasn't sure if you wanted me to. i had to be sure." she looked down at your hands, fidgeting and wringing.

you nodded in understanding. "you were sort of driving me crazy these past few weeks. i couldn't tell if you actually liked me or if i was overreacting to everything."

"oh, join the club," ellie mused.

okay, note to self, trust your gut feeling. unless anxiety is controlling your gut feeling. then… disregard completely. other note to self, try to figure out the difference between a real gut feeling and an anxious, fake gut feeling.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you talked and talked with ellie until the sun went down. you had hardly noticed it had gotten dark. the shades and curtains were open, once letting in the natural light from the day. the room grew dark as night fell, but neither of you moved from the bed. you sat, talking and laughing and whispering and you wondered how cheesy you would seem if you pinched yourself.

time ticked by no matter how much you opposed it, and the threat of morning weighed heavy on you.

"i'll walk you," ellie insisted once you were putting on your shoes.

you glanced out of the window. snow was piling up quickly. it was beautiful to look at, but you dreaded the walk back to your dorm.

"are you kidding? no way," you refused. you felt bad enough the last time that ellie had walked you home, and that night's weather was nice compared to tonight.

"are you kidding?" ellie began putting on her shoes, lacing up her converse.

"i'm just going to go," you threatened flatly.

"okay, i'll just trail behind you and try not to look like a total creep," ellie retorted.

you pushed out a breath of air, trying not to smile. ellie had her jacket on quicker than you did anyway.

when ellie asked if you had gloves this time, you were proud to pull them out of your coat pocket to show her.

"a hat?" ellie questioned next.

"i can't find my earmuffs," you grumbled.

in response, ellie placed her own hat on your head, tugging it down so that it covered your ears with a look of determination on her face.

the walk was peaceful, though trudging through the quickly fallen snow had proven to be difficult. it was beautiful though, and ellie guided you with a careful hand on your arm so you could focus your gaze upward, at the falling snowflakes.

when you arrived at your dorm, you both hesitated in the cold despite your noses turning red.

"ellie, do you want to come in fo-"

"yes," ellie quickly answered. you grinned.

yourself and ellie spent two more hours talking together. you stood back and observed while ellie paced around your room, looking at pictures and trinkets. everything about her was endearing. the shy smile that graced her lips upon seeing the sticky notes on your wall was the reason behind your third kiss that night.

when ellie finally had to leave, she parted with promises to text when she had made it safely. and she did.

you traced her name from the sticky note over and over, emotions swelling inside of you. despite the calm you felt fairly overwhelmed, left with so much to process. positively overwhelmed, at least. no longer would you lose sleep, analyzing and overthinking trying to figure out if ellie could truly like you.

like like like!

you would see her again after break, it was certain. you would text her, not worrying if ellie didn't really want you to have her number.

after all, she gave it to you for a reason... just as she reminded you before leaving for her dorm.

so of course, you promised to text her.

and you did.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

tags :

@pinkfillerose @whore-era @lilisvlibrary @elliefilms @whteflwcrs @jasontoddsdreamgirl @icedcold @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @evanpetersluver @muthafuckingstargirl @pctcr @illicitghosts @mell0w-mushr00m @queen-arya22 @deafelliewilliams @urmyheartshaka @yourfrenchteacher @me-and-your-husband @blairfox04 @saturnsrem @poopedmypants47 @shehitdenaenae @jrjlc

[the-crustation-sensation]

Even more Hobie x reader hc’s!!

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A/N Just SFW for now bc I have NO ideas for smut currently 😭

I might post some later tho <3

As always I write these for anyone to insert, so non-gendered terms are used (:

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* I am SICK AND TIRED of you guys hcing him as a dirty troll. just bc he’s a punk does not mean he doesn’t have fucking hygiene skills. Yes ofc he’s Spider-Man so he doesn’t have a lot of free time but it’s not like he goes a month without showering

* I feel like most of the time he smells like old cologne (probably something with musk, oak, or vanilla) and weed

* I’m also tired of you guys hcing him as a toxic asshole (bro LITERALLY helped miles without even knowing him, and how already homies within like the first 10 minutes of meeting)

* With that said you already know he’d be the most caring and attentive partner

* He definitely has a note on his phone of things you like, are passionate about, and mentioned wanting. It just keeps growing bc he wants to keep track of everything you love 😭

* Anytime he gives you a gift he hand makes it (or alternatively gets it from a small business) he says it feels more meaningful and personal

* I think his love languages are acts of service and physical touch

* This man is obsessed with showing you off to EVERYONEEE. He would definitely pull you onstage during one of his concerts just to be like “hey everyone this is my S/O”

* He would love walking around with his hand in your back pocket, or yours In his

* He’s a crow, 100% picks up random stuff off of the sidewalk that caught his eye and gives it to you

* kind of a huge klepto He does not hesitate shoplifting from big corporations when he sees something he knows you’d like

* Although he would never EVER steal from a small business

* Just imagine he comes home and gives you a shirt for a band you like and you see the security tag is still on 😭 and he’s like “what 🤨”

* Definitely a “hmm?” “Oh yeah?” “Is that so?” “Make me” type of guy (SCREAMING)

* He’s such a tease, and just a brat in general. Just imagine your fed up and ask him to do something and he pulls the “yes ma’am/sir” move

* He’s the type of help bust you out of a holding cell/help you run from the police (he’s your partner in crime I’ll die on this hill)

* He love starting harmless beef with people online for no reason, specifically getting into fights with kids on ROBLOX just to see them get mad

* Man has like 1029292 emails to make new accounts bc he’s gotten banned from doing this so many times 😭

* He loves playing video games with you. especially if your playing something like cod or a racing game he would aggressively wiggle your controls to mess you up and act like nothing happened

* Ok ok hear me out, he doesn’t believe in games or things having an age limit, so he would play those 2 player ROBLOX obbys with you. He also LOVES playing horror games with you, you guys always yell at eachother over who has to go in front tho

* Y’all can communicate without even speaking ISTG

* He discreetly nudges your shoulder during a meeting and side eyes someone in the room, translates to “you see this shit??” Glancing towards the door then at you “let’s ditch this” peeking over someone’s shoulder and making eye contact with you while he’s talking to someone “HELP ME.” Or alternatively “is this bitch FR??”

* He has the mouth of a sailor, has taught mayday multiple cus words and acts like nothing happened

* He LOVES kids, absolutely loves them, he would be such an amazing parent

THIS IS HIM PROVE ME WRONG

* This might be an unpopular opinion but I don’t think he would give a shit what race/gender you are, he loves you for YOU and doesn’t care what color you are or what’s in-between your legs (in short he’s bisexual and doesn’t give a shit about whatever you are, he’s here for your personality)

* I think his favorite flavor of juice would be cranberry, but like the rlly tart cranberry juice

* Height thing’s but not because your short, just bc he’s freakishly tall

* As a fandom we’ve already established he does the thing where your cooking, or minding your own business, and he hugs you from behind and puts his chin on your head/shoulder

* I don’t think he has a “type” per say, but I feel like he’d prefer people who are also in any sort of alternative culture (punk, goth, emo, alt, and I dare say earthy/fairy TO AN EXTENT counts for that)

* I am biased because you can’t tell me this man wouldn’t fuck with a goth bitch, or just another punk (his WEAKNESS is punk girls)

* He loves doing makeup for you, especially eyeliner because that gives him and excuse to get you to sit in his lap

* If you don’t already play guitar, he would defiantly teach you by sitting behind you with his head on your shoulder to show you the right cords

* And he’s definitely gonna be praising tf outta you “good job” “yeah, you got it love” “mhm just like that”

* He also loves doing your hair/helping you do/cut your hair, no matter what texture it is

* I feel like before he settled in punk he went through an emo phase in middle school, and HATES his pictures from that era, like he would tackle someone to get it away if they found any trace of it

* He probably had some fuck ass fake piercings because his parents wouldn’t let him get real ones, and crusty eyeliner in his 7Th grade school photo

* I think his first face piercing was a nose piercing he got done in the school bathrooms in 10th grade by some girl with a safety pin

* It 100% got hella infected and he got so grounded for that

* He puts you first in almost every situation, like it he’s in the middle of a mission with another spider, and you text him, it will be like that scene with miles fighting the spot because he will text you back no matter WHAT

* I’m not sure about this one but I think his world is set in the early 70s (when punk fashion started getting more popular) so when he first came to HQ and saw all of this new text he was amazed and confused as hell

* It took him like a week to figure out most of that shit at HQ

* Most people don’t know he lives on a house houseboat, but I absolutely love that.

* Shit constantly falls off of his shelves from the waves but he couldn’t give 2 fucks about it

* he hates being called “Hobart” if you call him that he’ll either not respond, or know that your PISSED and shits about to go down

* he’s definitely pansexual or bisexual, like I said he loves pussy and dick equally, I feel like also hes either a transman, or AMAB and gender-fluid. Either way there’s no way he’s a cis man, he ATLEAST is he/they

* if he is a transman he would get top surgery but I don’t think he would get bottom surgery, he loves his man-pussy and he thinks if your too brainwashed by society’s gender norms then fuck you

* I think he would also get vines or mushrooms, or like barbed wire tattooed near his top scars

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Alright that’s everything I have for today! If you have any ideas please don’t hesitate to comment or to hit up my asks! I have a few asks I’m currently working on but I also have a bigger original story I’m writing so I’ve kinda been in writers block

If you want to be apart of my tag list don’t hesitate to ask (:

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚

[cupcakeslushie]

Separate Donnie is just so precious but also I want to put him in a jar a shake him like a kid with a firefly

DONNIE TIME!! Strap in, this one’s gonna be long

@raisondetre2012 @cutesybumbleb

Donnie struggles a lot in the beginning with distinguishing his brothers from his hallucinations. It helps that his real brothers act so different from the harsh figments that constantly torment him, but his brain will still trick him into listening and believing what they’re saying. The family has to be very careful at first when Donnie’s deep in one of his episodes, as there’s no telling how he’ll react to them intervening. Sometimes they’re able to guide him back with soft spoken words of encouragement, and other times he’s convinced they’re just trying to get him to let his guard down and he’ll get pulled deeper into the fog of his hallucinations.

The family’s knowledge of everything Donnie went through with Draxum is sort of limited down to: traumatic events Donnie has mentioned jokingly in passing, the horrifyingly casual way Donnie talks about testing things on himself, and just seeing with their own two eyes that Donnie has clearly been put through severe physical and psychological trauma for a long time. Mikey is probably the only one brave enough to ask about specific scars like Donnie’s metal plate and his wrists, but after hearing the blunt and honest recounts from Donnie, no one really feels a strong desire to dig any deeper.

@redheadedhypocrite They all have their own issues but Leo and Mikey are better able to mask theirs, unlike Donnie who can’t really contain his own panic any time he thinks he’s done something wrong. They just try their best to avoid any land mines, because hearing Donnie grovel and stutter his way through apology after apology for any little perceived mistake is pretty heartbreaking for all of them.

Donnie has a hard time with accepting that he deserves his place in the family, and thus will often still refer to himself silently as Three. He doesn’t really understand that the things Draxum did to him were unforgivable. He was always led to believe that Draxum was just trying to make him stronger so he could stand next to his brothers once the time came that they were all reunited. It doesn’t help that when they are reunited, even if it’s not in the way he’d thought—he’s kept from joining his brothers in their patrols for months. Leo and Mikey are left to babysit him for a while, but even then, they rejoin Raph and April before Donnie is allowed out. And the way Splinter treats him is so alien to Donnie, the doting and the affection. He wants to be Donnie so badly, but he hasn’t done anything to deserve it. Life was so simple with Draxum. Three would do something, anything really, and be punished. Nine times out of ten, Three was able to predict how the end results would play out—with Donnie, everything is an unknown—and he hates not knowing.

Donnie’s first run in with Draxum is fine in the moment, his brothers and April are there, and Draxum’s attention is more focused on Raph, Leo and Mikey and trying to convince them to join him. And his family instinctively puts themselves in between Draxum and Donnie so there’s no mistaking where their opinion of Draxum lies. It’s only towards the end where for a split second in the chaos of battle, that Draxum gets a moment alone with Thre—Donnie, but that’s all his previous guardian really needs to throw Donnie off. The battle ends and they retreat, but Donnie can’t help but over analyze Draxum’s words for the rest of the night, getting no sleep and replaying the encounter again and again. Sleep doesn’t come, and in the morning…

@imtiredandcoffeeismylifestyle

Not sure if you guys checked out the character sheet, I’ll link that above, it’s got all their ages, and then the start of the comic, where Mikey gets rescued, is a sort of prologue and then when Leo and Donnie’s stories comes in a year later would be the start of the show, so ages are 14, 15, 16, and this takes place over two years with a bunch of stuff in between before the finale fight with Shredder, then a two month break where Leo goes on a type of vision quest and has to return quickly as the events of the movie call him back home.

A lot of Donnie’s scars are from experiments, while most of his psychological scars are from punishments. We’ll see a lot more of what Draxum did to Three so I wont go into much detail there. While with Leo, most of his scars are from him failing to follow through The Shredder’s orders or expectations. Most happened early on, during training, and as Leo grew, so did his ability, which meant fewer punishments, and more praise from Saki.

Three was fed pretty close to a regular soft shell turtle diet, mostly fish and 🤢 insects and frogs—bleh. Which he didn’t really…enjoy, but it’s not like he had much choice. As he got older and was able to fix his own meals, he would more often choose flavorless juice smoothies, and only fall back on the other options when he needed the variety. Donnie is pretty picky when he joins the fam, but he trusts Mikey’s suggestions over his other two brothers. All in all though he much prefers the diet he has now.

@tksmainhellhole The bandana is to cover up the scars on his head, which were some of Three’s first, and so he was more self-conscious and attempted to hide them. Eventually though, he has so many that he doesn’t care, but for some reason he likes the feeling of the bandana and so he keeps wearing it.

Raph, Leo, and Mikey can kind of remember enough turtle to instinctively communicate back. Leo’s pride prevents him from doing it unless Donnie is in distress. Otherwise Raph and Mikey think it’s adorable and have fun with it.

Three/Donnie would normally hate being covered in grime and he’ll usually wash off the oíl as quickly as he can, but he loves picking off the dried spray paint (omg he’s just like me fr). So with it there, it’s a great alternative to, ya know—other bad habits.

Donnie and Raph will both go non-verbal when pushed to a certain point. Raph tends to hide when he does this (except from Splinter or April), but Donnie will seek out comfort.

@snailsnaps When Donnie is overstimulated he tends to either shut down if it’s really bad, or if it’s just enough to give him a headache or irritate him he’ll go find someone to latch on to who he can zero in on and ground himself in. With how quickly his brain works, being under stimulated happens far more often, and is usually what brings on his work binges and some of his more chaotic ideas.

He’s more aggressive before sleeping, when he’s gone on a five day bender of zero sleep and constant tinkering. Getting him to finally pass out is where the struggle comes in. He’s pretty hard to wake up once he’s out, even in the midst of a nightmare, he’ll come awake on his own. Leo and Mikey are more the, don’t approach after waking, or risk being attacked types. But sometimes when Donnie goes into his own headspace, and dissociates too deeply, it’s best to leave him alone, since he doesn’t like to be touched during those moments. That’s when you could lose a finger.

Donnie and Raph have a great relationship, and Raph is the one who Donnie probably goes to the most when he’s overstimulated, because a Raph hug is better than any weighted blanket—Donnie can focus on Raph’s calm breathing and his heartbeat and the warmth of his arms around him, nothing at all like the cold, hard vines that Draxum would entangle Three in until he was practically suffocating.

@space-is-spooky Check out this post here for your answer on Splinter talking about Donnie!

@redheadedhypocrite I think I mentioned a while back that Donnie is more wistful when he thinks about what could’ve been his childhood, but he’s not bitter so much, as he doesn’t even really think he deserved to be rescued. He’s just grateful that he’s even allowed a place in this perfect, happy family, when he’s only ever been a disappointment.

@ifyourereadingthisblinktwice

Donnie, when he is finally allowed to join his brothers in battle, has a hard time with larger groups of opponents, since he’s got the least amount of field experience. He tends to do much better from afar or from higher ground where he can see the whole picture. He’s probably the stealthiest after Leo, but with Leo on the front lines directing the team with Raph, Donnie is the one who gets sent in for recon and intel gathering, and then he’ll take more of a backseat role, taking out stragglers and calling out positions. This doesn’t mean he’s helpless though, he’s just more used to fighting one on one, as that’s how Draxum trained him. He’s still a master with his bo and once he taps into his ninpo and has more training on how to work with his brothers, they all feel better about letting him jump into the thick of it without worrying that he’ll get hurt in the choas.

Also Donnie would 100% use explosives in battle if he didn’t have to worry about his bros and April being caught up in the blast. When he unlocks his ninpo he can create some pretty specific weapons that allow him more controlled, but just as fun explosions!

[the-s1lly-corner]

so after Digital Circus came out, I've been having extreme Pomni brainrot, with her joining the horde of comfort characters for me. I'll like to request B, C, D, G, I, K, L, O, Q, R, T, V, W, X and Z. I'm so, so sorry this is a ton, if you wish you can do half of these requests. also sorry if I'm late by any chance

Fluff alphabet with Pomni! (1)

cracks my knuckles dont feel bad for asking for so many letters! if i didnt want people requesting so many for one character i would have put a cap on it!! i admit im not sure how long im going to do the fluff alphabet, i guess for however long people send in requests for it

BONDING- you guys bond by trying to find the exit/j but also not entirely a /j since now that i think about it i can definitely see it. otherwise a lot of your bonding comes from you showing pomni around outside the tend, since she still hasn't had the chance to explore the rest of the grounds

CUDDLING- small spoon simply because she is very small and needs someone to ground her to reality. very soft and squishy, its like holding a squishmallow

DATES- if this were the real world i can see pomni being a coffee shop person, but since it isnt... hmm.. i think dates mostly stick to spending time together in one of yall's rooms

GIFT GIVING- pomni does not give me vibes that they give you large things for gifts regardless of availability... they seem to be more of a handy small trinket person, "hey i saw this and thought of you and figured it might be of use to you" type of deal

IN HOUSE ADVENTURE- since pomni is still new to the endless possibilities of whatever it is caine cooks up for you guys, she gravitates towards you, out of trust and comfort mostly! you guys are kind of 50/50 in terms of if you guys actually function well as a team and solve whatever you need to do to reach the end goal caine has in mind

KISS- she cups your face, i think.. i can see it, very shy about it too, she will immediately pull away all bashfully. mouth kisses are her default, both giving and receiving

LOVE LANGUAGE- quality time and words of affirmation make pomni feel loved! its also how she shows her love, as well! especially the quality time, but as well as acts of service!

ODDITY- obviously this is likely going to be an issue for a while since shes new, but she is a bit. off given her trying to get used to being in the digital world. but just give her time and youre golden! though, i dont think pomni is ever going to fully accept being in the digital world

QUIET TIME- down time between you two is usually spent with the two of you sitting together in one of the common areas or your rooms. each doing your own activity while existing in the same space, fairly comfortable silence.. you two dont do everything together, and thats a-okay

ROSES- i think pomni would, tying into the "hey i thought of you" thing! pomni would not be opposed to being given flowers, pomni looks like a buttercup enjoyer

TUNES- first song that popped into my mind, no explanation.. maybe i miss beach bunny..

VALENTINE- in the real world she would treat you to a night in, with a few movies as well as your favorite snacks. probably gives you some flowers again.. in the digital world, the options are more limited... perhaps you two check out the carnival by the tent? the games there arent rigged.... probably...

WANT- they want someone who will actually listen to what shes trying to say and achieve, to be taken seriously. sure, a lot of the time in the pilot pomni is freaking out because shes coming to the realization that shes trapped, but i until we get more there isnt much i can say for her.. for now..

ZZZ- very sound sleeper, actually! tosses and turns every now and then but nothing too excessive, add that in with the cuddling segment and you guys would be pretty well rested after a night together, if you needed sleep in the digital world

[yandere-kokeshi]

Yandere Keigo Takami / Hawks Headcanons

Warnings: Cussing, mention of cheating/murdering/going through private information, stalking actions/mentions, black mail mention/action, drugging mention.

Authors Note: I do not own this character! I also wanna say there may be spelling mistakes. Did not check for it.

Hawks, my beloved, you are my husband ‼️

As he is the No.2 Hero, he tends to have a lot of potential; getting away with a lot of things with his flirty and charming ways. When he sees someone he likes, wants to start a conversation with, or sleep with: he uses his words, bending them like candy and usually succeeding. 

There are two (2) ways to get his attention, one being ‘the fuck off’ type: The one who bluntly has no interest in him, not falling for his charming ways and denying the suggestion to go out for dinner. Or, you being a ‘sweet angel’. Someone who owns a book or flower shop; one that smells like heaven. These two would make him attracted, and right when you notice; it’s already too late. 

Keigo is smart, silent, and brawny. He uses these to his potential to stalk you at night, like a predator ready to pounce on their prey any minute. He tries to learn about everything about you: hacking into your work files, social media accounts, bank account, electronics, and learning about anything from what you dislike, to how your night routine goes and what you do right when you wake up. 

Keigo doesn’t really care about other people other than you, and this goes along the list of your family, friends, and close relatives. He would black mail them, threatening to tell them to leave you alone, or else. 

He loves to show himself off to you, proving that he can be worthy of protecting, providing, and loving you in ways your other partner couldn't. In addition to your partner (if you have one), Keigo will find ways to sabotage your relationship: showing pictures of them cheating, being villiness, or doing something behind your back other than cheating. Of course, Keigo is there, rubbing your back and telling you ‘it’s okay, I got you Angel. I’m the only one you need.’ 

Hawks would try to manipulate you into a relationship with him rather than kidnapping. He would try to use his words to keep you in the house, make you quit your job, and become a working-from home-person, explaining that it’s dangerous for you to work outside and he’s the only one who can protect you. You wouldn’t even know you were being manipulated into a relationship till it’s too late. Though,  if you're smart and see right through him, trying to break off the ‘friendship’ you two have; he snaps and kidnaps you the night you tell him to leave you alone. 

Keigo’s yandere tendencies are protective, (semi-)delusional, manipulative, and obsessive. Once you wake up from him kidnapping you, he explains that he did this for you and to ‘protect you’. Once he’s over, he gently smiles and serves you food, specifically your favorite. The room is covered with things you like, including your preferred perfume (if you use any), books/a TV, and a camera in the corner of the room that is very well hidden. 

He’s very affectionate. Keigo tends to manipulate you into cuddling with him, expressing he’s very touch-starved and he would love to be held by the love of his life. He loves putting his hands on you anywhere: Thighs, your ass, shoulders, or kissing you so much that you’ll have to push him away at some point. He loves laying on you, either on your thighs, stomach or chest. While you guys hug, he tends to wrap his wings around you both, protecting you in some-way. He also loves resting his head on her neck, breathing in your scent and gently biting it, blowing raspberries from time to time. 

He loves spoiling you. Buying literally anything you love, if you want a new blanket? Sure, he’d buy it and make sure it’s not scratchy and make sure it’s the best to his advances; only the best for his mate. Want a phone? It depends, but sure! Sadly he will have a time limit on it, allowing him to look through what you’ve been doing. Want to go outside for a special occasion? Fine… But he has to hold you and if he sees you talking to anyone, especially a man? We’re leaving.

He’s very paranoid, whether that’s his bird traits or him as your ‘partner’, he tends to go the extra mile with you: baby proofing the entire house, leaving his feathers everywhere, locking and securing the windows. The front door can only be opened as it has finger lock on it, along with three (3) locks. This also includes that there are no doors in the house, other than the bathroom door for privacy, there are no doors; he explained in great detail that it was ‘for his wings’. 

If you somehow do escape: passing through the 24/7 on security cameras, alarm warnings, and picking the locks; you only have a few minutes to fully escape, hide, and pretend to be someone else. The moment he finds you, he isn’t nice anymore. 

The punishments range from how far you ran, how long you hid, and how much damage you did to the house while escaping. The lightest punishment he would do is chain you back up, along with a house-arrest ankle bracelet so he can check your location better. The harshest one will be him guilt-tripping you to the max: crying and yelling that all he wants to do is protect you, yet, you don’t listen. He will even cause himself harm to make you feel bad. He will even bring his childhood into the fights you two have, saying the way he acts is the only way he ‘knows’ because he needs you, and only you. 

Now, if you decide to do the normal ‘physical or verbal’ trying; he’d be more so… Scary. If you decide to kick, punch, or spit: He’d grab you harshly, grabbing the back of your neck as his other hand grips your chin, forcing you to look directly into his eyes; forming a stern bond. “Now what did I tell you if you act up again? Please don’t make me force you to swallow those pills again. Please just love me, I love you so much hon.”

Now, if you decide to use verbal abuse, he’d gently caress your cheek, looking you into your eyes as his turn a darker but cool gold: “please don’t hurt me dove, it quite pains me. I’ve been through enough hell already, please don’t do it.”

Soon, you’d start to fall for him just as much as he did for you. Both of you are on the way to be married, just like the way it should be. 

—

Masterlist || Please reblog and comment instead of commenting, stay well!

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©yandere-kokeshi

Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.

[shaylixie]

The Great Gatsby

Word Count: 2922

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Bang Chan x gn!reader

Requested: No.

Summary: Chan throws a party a while after not seeing you.

Warnings / Contains: Alcohol consumption; language; dialogue heavy; lots of characters.

A/N: Omg, where do I start? Hi! I'm back and seemingly writing again, lol. Anyway. This is my first fic for Stray Kids. I wrote it just for fun...I wasn't really sure where I was going with it & I just ended up with this. So. Bon appétit. Not sure if you can tell, but I'm a multistan.🤣 Primarily a Stay. I wanted to write something fun and wholesome and fluffy. This is the start of something wonderful! I'm thinking of making this into a loose sort of series? Hm, we'll see. Let me know if you want a part 2, and I'll think about it! Thank you for reading, and enjoy! 💕 Feedback welcome.🤍

You knock on the door of Chan's place, loud enough that it's heard over the blaring music. It opens, and you're faced with an excited expression.

"Y/n! You made it!"

"Hey, Sungie!" you greet Jisung, followed by a warm hug. "I had to see my favourite guy."

"Me or Chan?" he asks with smirk.

Sigh. Okay. So here's the thing.

You and Chan have been friends for...well, enough time. But a small part of you wishes you were more. Okay, fine. A big part of you. See, you caught feelings. But this is your friend you're talking about...you can't ruin your friendship after so many years. Even if you did want to risk it everytime you were with him.

You rolled your eyes, anticipating the familiar endless teasing.

Everyone knew, it seemed. But if Chan was part of "everyone", you didn't know. He certainly didn't act like it.

You walked in and began greeting the rest of your friends. The usual ones were there - that is, the members of Stray Kids, along with a few personal mutual friends - and also a handful of people you didn't know. Other idols, including but not limited to those of JYPE, and friends of friends. It wasn't packed to the brim but it wasn't a small gathering either. A decent enough crowd for it to be considered a party, and for the house to be full.

Of course, knowing the Kids for as long as you did, you knew most of the idols here so you weren't as intimidated as you thought you'd be. Sure, you still got starstruck from time to time. But you were familiar with the JYP family; had befriended them even. You suppose that's the perks of being such a close friend of the Kids. So much so that you're playfully referred to as the 9th member...except you can't sing or dance. Or rap. Or do pretty much any of the extraordinary things they do on a daily. But you still somehow platonically seduced all of them. How? You didn't know, but you didn't care either. This was your family.

After hugging all your friends who you could find at arm's length, you started settling down and adjusting to the atmosphere. Minho handed you a cup and just winked when you asked what was in it. Oh, you were in for it tonight!

"Y/n!!"

You whipped your head around at the familiar voice. There was Chan, bounding towards you with his own cup and his loose fitted tank top. He placed the cup down and lifted you up, spinning you around and sloshing half of your own drink onto the floor.

"Oops! I'll clean that up later," he laughed.

"Channie! I've missed you. How have you been?"

"Great! Except I've really missed you too."

"I know, I'm sorry. Studying has been crazy. I'm here now, though! Catch me up, guys," you say turning to the others.

He threw his arm around you as you drained your cup and then flopped onto the couch, with half of the Kids surrounding you - specifically Minho, Han, Felix and Hyunjin - and also Ryujin, Yeji and Chaeryeong.

You all started talking non-stop about anything and everything, laughing at the most stupidest things. You know, standard feature.

"Oh my gosh, Somi!!!" you suddenly burst out excitedly, leaping off the couch.

You half-skipped-half-ran to your best friend as you giggled together and embraced, jumping up and down.

"Didn't you guys hang out last week?" Hyunjin asked with a weird look on his face, hiding his amusement.

"Yeah but this is my best friend in the whole woooorld!" Somi said as she rocked you side to side, still in an embrace.

"Also how would you know, Jinnie? Do you stalk us?" you asked.

"Ooooooh, he probably stalks all of us," Chaeryeong teased.

"Eww," Hyunjin said with his classic disgusted face. "I saw it on your story, Y/n. Yours is the only one I check all the time...since we're best friends and all you know. Or maybe not..." he ends dramatically.

"Oh shit," says Han.

You roll your eyes, laughing at the constant competition between Hyunjin and Somi.

"You're my guy best friend, Jinnie. Somi is my girl. You know this."

"Yeah, I'm her girl," Somi teases, wiggling her eyebrows. She makes playful kissy faces at your cheek and you turn around last minute, making her kiss you on the lips. Everyone bursts out laughing, and somewhere in the room you hear a cat whistle. It makes you and Somi double over laughing, not fazed at all by your friendly flirty dynamic.

Chan stands up again and pulls both you and Somi into a hug.

"I gotta go say hi to a few more people, I'll be right back," he says looking at you.

"Wait!" Felix shouts. He runs to pull you, Chan and Somi into his arms. "Group hug!"

You pull him into your arms at the sight of his happy face and everyone leaps up from their respective places on the floor and the couch until your face is buried in Chan's chest and you can't breathe, let alone lift your head up. All you hear is cheers going up as people start to randomly join, and you giggle wondering how drunk everyone is. When the hug eventually ends, everyone's moods lifted even higher than before, you and Somi part as the rest do the same, all going to mingle.

"So...I saw how he had his arm around you," Somi says, bumping your shoulder.

"Ugh, it doesn't mean anything...but I loved it so much, Som! Like...I just wanna stay like that. I'm lovesick. I need another drink if I'm gonna get through this night."

"Already on it," she laughs, pouring you a drink. "But we gotta take a shot first!"

As she pours the shot, Sana and Dahyun come over with Jackson Wang from China (as you lovingly call him) and more hugs ensue.

"Shots? Count us in!" says Jackson.

You all take a shot together...and then another one. Hey, you may not party much (like, at all), but when you do...you DO.

Next you know, Sana is grabbing your hand and Dahyun is leading you outside onto the makeshift dance floor (the lawn). Everyone is vibing and jumping up and down and busting out their best (and worst) moves all over the yard and you can't help but join in on the fun. You dance (is that what you call it?) with your friends surrounding you, all letting loose and having a fun time, their idol masks surrendered. You can't remember the last time you had this much fun. At some point, Changbin and Chan join in, and Changbin grabs your hand and dips you, making you squeal. You hold him tightly around his neck and drop a hand to his bicep, squeezing there.

"I've been working out!" he shouts over the music with a huge grin. He knows how much you love feeling his muscles up, and he loves how much you do. It's become something of an inside joke between you.

"I can tell! They're even bigger than last time!"

"You're drooling, Y/n!" shouts Chan. "What about me?"

Changbin lifts you up again and you bound up to Chan, squeezing his bicep too. You make a show of thinking hard.

"It needs more work!" you say, stifling a laugh.

Chan pouts, making you fail at holding your laugh back. He laughs too then, grabbing your hand. You relish at the feeling of his hand in yours, and next thing you know, you're running behind Chan, following him inside the house and up the stairs. He stops outside one of the closed bedrooms, the both of you breathing hard.

"I really did miss you," he says softly, but loud enough for you to hear over the music and laughter. He pulls you into a tight hug then, and you blink out of shock.

"Are you drunk?" you giggle.

"A little. But I missed you when I was sober. And I'll miss you when I'm wasted. And hungover too. And then sober again."

You laugh and boop his nose. "I missed you too, Channie." You dip your head to hide your face before saying the next part. "More than you'll ever know..."

"Yeah?" He looks at you like he genuinely wants to know.

"Yeah...yeah, of course."

The two of you are silent for a bit after that, just staring at each other. It's a comfortable silence. The type you always have with him.

He clears his throat. "I, uhm. I...how drunk are you?"

"Surprisingly not drunk at all," you say honestly. "Tipsy...but I'm fine. You?"

"Not drunk enough," he laughs. "I'm still okay."

"Good."

"I'm asking because...well...I wanted to tell you something."

"Good or bad?" you ask nervously.

He laughs just as nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "It depends..."

"Yeah?"

"I uhm..." he trails off, stepping closer to you.

Your heart is beating so far out your chest, you think he can see it.

"I don't know how to say it. But I-...we're friends, right? Good friends?"

You're about to answer when suddenly-

"CHAN HYUNG!"

You're interrupted by Minho's yelling, and you make a mental note to kick him in the shin later. Chan drops his head in exasperation, then laughs.

"Give me a second," he says apologetically.

"YEAH?!" he shouts back, halfway down the stairs.

"WE GOT THE BEER PONG ALL SET UP. YOU COMING?"

"YEAH, I'LL BE DOWN IN A SEC!"

He runs back up to you then, about to say something, but seemingly changing his mind.

"Minho set up the beer pong. It's your favourite game..." he winks at you. "Be on my team?"

You shove down the anxiety of the previous moment and agree, hoping the beer will help. You hate beer, but it is your favourite game after all. Chan takes your hand again, and you go over to the living room where the beer pong is set up.

"So, who are Chan and I winning against?" you ask to the room around you, feeling much more confident because of the alcohol. Oh - confident about talking to an entire room of people - not about winning. You're always confident about that.

Seungmin walks up with Chaeyoung from Twice.

"You sure you can beat us?" he quips.

"Yeah, sorry Y/n, but I'm pretty good at beer pong," Chaeyoung says.

"Oh, don't worry. You haven't met my Y/n here," Chan says.

Your heart skips 3 beats at that - "my Y/n" - and you have to ignore the urge to check your pulse to see if you're dead.

"Let's go, Old Man! Try to keep up," teases Seungmin.

Chan rolls his eyes at the familiar nickname.

The game starts, and everyone who isn't passed out or dancing gathers round. Minnie and Chaeyoung go first, and Chae gets it in first try. The crowd goes wild. You chug down the drink as Chan goes next...and misses. Seungmin laughs and says something about "losing with the old man." It's your turn now, and lo and behold, you get it in.

"Not bad...not bad..." Chae says, and downs the drink.

Seungmin goes next and misses, which causes Chan to start teasing him back. "What's all that about an old man, huh??"

"Girl power! Yes, Queens! Slay!" shouts a drunk Yuna, and everyone laughs.

The game continues with various hits and misses, and the 4 of you progressively get drunker off the beer. Finally, it's down to the last cup on both sides. After what seems like an eternity of back and forth throwing, you land the ball in the cup. Stunned, no one reacts at first. Then the whole room erupts and everyone starts surrounding you and Chan and you think you hear Seungmin scream "FUCK!" but you're not sure because Chan has picked you up and he's spinning you around and shouting "That's my girl!" and everyone is too drunk and excited to question it and the euphoria spreads through the room. Ah, yes, you think. Beer pong is your favourite game.

-

Seated around the bonfire, spread out equally on blankets on the floor and chairs, are all of your favourite people. Well, some are missing because they went home and others are passed out in Chan's guest room and on his couches and maybe one or two on the floor. But most of your favourite people surround you right now, and a peaceful atmosphere decends over the night. Softer music is now playing as everyone sings along, swaying and sitting half on top of each other. You walk out of the house filled with people spread around drinking water and eating bread and ice cream, trying to sober up before they go home. Chan is still beside you, and he walks up to the only remaining empty seat, vacated by Jackson whose Uber just arrived. He sits down before realising you have no place to sit, and then stands up just as fast, offering you his seat.

"Just let her sit on your lap," says Somi, drunk and drowsy, half lying on Yeji on the floor.

A chorus of "oooohs" go up, and Chan's ears go red.

"Everyone is sitting on everyone anyway," Jeongin points out.

"I mean, if you're comfortable..." Chan says softly only to you before sitting down and holding your waist lightly.

You drop gently into his lap and he pulls you against him, wrapping his strong arms around you. You hold his arms back, and cuddle into his warmth. It's a warm night with a cool breeze, but you savour his body heat anyways. You shiver, and not from the breeze. You feel him hold you even tighter after that, and you're glad he can't see your blushing face. Hyunjin winks at you, and Felix smiles at you knowingly from between Jinnie's legs. Your blush deepens. You soon get caught up in the conversation, laughing and throwing comments in here and there. The topic changes and you take to just listening. But you're interrupted by a soft voice in your ear.

"I'm really glad you came," Chan says softly.

"I'm glad too. I loved- I mean, it was nice seeing you."

Chan chuckles, not oblivious to your change of words.

"I loved seeing you too."

You dip your head in embarrassment.

"I mean it. It would have sucked if you weren't here," he continues.

"Sucked? Hey, you still would have had a good time with everyone else..." you point out.

"Yeah, yeah you're right. But it wouldn't be the same without you, you know? It wouldn't have been as good. I'm just really glad you came."

"Why wouldn't I?" you ask. "It's your party, after all."

You don't know if it's because you're still both a little drunk or because of the soft, romantic atmosphere or the intimacy of everyone around you, but he admits, "Yeah, that I threw for you."

You scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion. "For me?"

"Yeah. I wanted an excuse for you to come...it ended up becoming bigger than I planned though. Much bigger," he laughs shyly.

You laugh at that then, and then start laughing harder, earning you a few looks. Pleased ones, at that.

"What?" he asks, slightly embarrassed.

"No...nothing. You just...you sound like Gatsby."

He laughs then too, his body shaking against yours.

"Nerd."

"Shut up!" You swat him playfully. "Everyone knows Gatsby." A pause. "I had fun tonight, Channie. A lot of fun."

He grins, his eyes squinting at the action and his cheeks dimpling. "I love it when you call me that."

"Channie..." you tease.

He tickles you then, and you squirm in protest.

Once you quieten down, he asks for the second time that night, "How drunk are you?"

"Uhm, not that drunk. I can Uber back safely."

"Oh," he says. Is that disappointment you hear?

"Why?" you ask.

"Oh uhm, I was just asking. I wanted to know if you'd feel better staying over. You can have my room - I can sleep on the couch. If it's not already taken..." he laughs. "I mean, the guys are staying over. I thought we could nurse our hangovers together, you know? Besides, it's too late for you to go back alone. I don't feel right about it."

You smile, hoping for this outcome.

"I'll stay. But on one condition..."

"Mhm?"

"You have to sleep in your room. I don't feel right kicking you out. Besides, I'm on your lap right now anyway. What difference does sharing a bed make? Lord knows I've fallen asleep on you so many times before..." You giggle together at the various memories.

You can hear the smile in Chan's voice as he says, "Deal."

You snuggle into him further, your head in the crook of his neck and his scent all around you, and you know it's not possible, but he pulls you even closer. He joins in on the singing around the bonfire as the song changes, and you smile at his lovely voice. Looking around you, you can't help but feel your heart swell to three times its size. Here are most of your favourite people, your deepest loved ones, sitting in the same place with smiles on their faces and love all around. You wish you could capture this feeling forever and get drunk on it every night. But you can't, so you settle for relishing in it deeply right now. You're grateful and loved and everything is perfect, and you wouldn't ask for more.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | November 20th-26th 2023

107 DAYS UNTIL SEASON 7 PREMIERE!!! I'm so excited!!! 😃

Also! I just hit 100 followers! Thank you guys! I hope you enjoy my recs :)

Complete

Ruin Me Like Castle Walls and Burn Me Like a Village by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Dragon Eddie | 6K | Explicit): When a call goes wrong, Buck sees a new side to Eddie, and starts to realize a lot of things about his best friend. And himself.

🔥 The Monsterfucker's Symphony by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Vampires, Werewolves, Demons, Mermaids... and more | 57K | Explicit): A collection of smutty oneshots featuring Buck or Eddie (or both) as a non-human creature.

🔥 and here, too, am i by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Future fic, Married Buddie | 41K | Teen): Six months into their marriage, Eddie is still struggling to decide whether or not he wants more kids, when he knows Buck does. The universe may not scream, but it certainly talks.

you’re everything that I want, but I didn’t think I’d find by Daffi_990_ao3/ @daffi-990 (Post-S6, Proposal | 2K | Not Rated): Eddie is so in love and proposes to Buck on Christmas Eve. (sequel to come close, let me be home)

all i ever wanted comes right down to you by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do)/ @lover-of-mine (Getting Together | 3K | General): Eddie is very dramatic in his pining and Buck overhears something that changes everything.

🔥 stranger sunlight, still by mmtion/ @mmtions (Catfishing/Secret Identity | 64K | Explicit): When the 118 find out about Buck’s secret thirst account on Instagram – to raise fire safety awareness, obviously – they make fun of him the appropriate amount and move on. Eddie finds it a little harder to do the same. Of course, Eddie would never invade Buck’s privacy by searching for and finding the anonymous account. Or looking at all the uploaded photos late at night. Or even directly messaging Buck’s secret account. That would be weird, because he’s certainly not planning on doing anything about his newfound attraction. However, anonymous account @elbombero118 has no such limitations.

🔥the evan buckley matchmaking agency by mmtion/ @mmtions (Season 5, Feelings Realization | 28K | Mature): Buck tries to set up Eddie. It goes well for absolutely no-one involved. 

wanna lose my mind in a hotel room with you by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Post-S6, Getting Together | 4K | Explicit): "Think you’ll ever have that kind of love?” Eddie asks as he leans against the wall with a beer in his hand at Maddie and Chimney’s engagement party. He’s got a fond look on his face, if not a little wistful as he turns to face Buck. “I hope so,” Buck says with a small smile on his face. He’s pretty sure he’s already got half of a love like that standing next to him, he just isn’t sure if it’s reciprocated. “I-I really hope so.”

hiccuped endlessly trying to giggle by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (PWP | 2K | Explicit): Eddie hiccups. “Just tell me,” he groans. “Come on, how bad could it be? Hic!” “Rectal massage,” Buck says, the words tripping over each other like he just wants to get them out as fast as possible. “Apparently, there was a guy who stopped hiccuping after rectal massage. And this is in, like, Healthline, so it’s probably legit—”

impossible to know (if after this we can still be friends) by lecornergirl / @clusterbuck (Getting Together | 1,7K | General): Hen sighs. “This better be an emergency.” “Does Buck turning up on my doorstep and saying he’s in love with me count as an emergency?”

this is gonna be one of those things by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Getting Together | 2K | Teen): It turns out he only has about three seconds of proper bull-riding in him before he’s tumbling to the floor. Hen and Chimney are bent double with laughter, but Eddie only looks at him, smirks, and says, “You’re doing it wrong.” “Like you’d do any better,” Buck shoots back, and Eddie gives him the most unimpressed look.  “You’re forgetting something,” he tells Buck as he mounts it. “I grew up in Texas.” 

my hands are shaking from holding back from you by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (S5E18, HenRen Wedding, Getting Together | 2,5K | Teen): So now Hen and Karen are renewing their wedding vows, and Buck is—Buck is a lot of things, but he’s mostly worried about the concept of Eddie in a suit. Buck is, after all, only one man. He’s a little worried it might be too much for him to handle.

Podfic

🔥 [Podfic] dream of some epiphany by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder from a fic by extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Canon Divergent, Pre-Canon, Pen Pals | 45-60 mins | Mature): Evan Buckley is lost. It’s happenstance that he wanders into the navy recruiting center. Buck leaves ten minutes later with a set of printed instructions for sending his first letter, assured that he can drop it off whenever he’s ready, and a name. Staff Sergeant Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz.

WIP

🔥 Both Blade and Branch by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S6 | 9/13 | 43K | Mature): The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back.

in my head by yourcatfishfriend/ @your-catfish-friend (Friends With Benefits | 6/8 | 23K | Explicit): Buck is confidently bisexual. Eddie isn't sure. Buck helps him figure it out.

[writing-about-current-obsessions]

If you had to pick

Pairings: Carlos Sainz x reader

Words: 5045

Summary: Carlos made a bad first impression, but do first impressions really matter that much?

First time writing for Carlos, so let me know how I did! Also, I have an idea for one more part so let me know if you would like to read it.

>Click here to check out my masterlist<  

„If you had to pick one guy from the grid to have sex with, who would it be?“ Pierre asked with a cheeky smile, taking a sip of his wine.

I rolled my eyes at him, taking a sip from my glass as well. It was a typical question coming from him during our so-called ‘truth and wine’ evenings – rare occasions when we could hang out with each other and catch up. We always start off the evening by ordering takeout and drinking wine, while talking about everything that we missed in each other’s lives since we last saw each other. The more we get tipsy, the steamier and crazier the questions usually get. I always have a few good laughs with Pierre by the end of nights like this.

Although, something that annoyed me to no end was when he asked the kind of questions he had just asked me. He was incredibly nosy and we talked about our love lives quite often with each other, but I never admitted to him that I liked any of the drivers.

“Apart from me, of course.”, Pierre added, like it was obvious.

I snorted. “What makes you think I would choose you?”

He looked at me as if I was the one talking nonsense. “I’m the hottest guy on the grid!”

“The most modest one, too.”, I laughed at him.

I put the glass of wine on the coffee table and settled on the sofa I was sitting on. I was getting a bit sleepy. Judging by the tint of Pierre’s cheeks and his half-closed eyelids, he was getting tipsy and tired as well. He was currently sprawled on the couch, with a half-full glass of wine in his hand, motioning with it when he talked, sloshing the liquid around and almost spilling it a couple of times.

“I don’t get why you never want to say it. There has to be someone on the grid that you like.”, Pierre frowned.

Obviously, his curiosity was getting the best of him, but also, he always became a bit more difficult when he drank. He was like a dog with a bone; he couldn’t let it go.

And the truth was, I think he had an inkling who I like. Or to be more specific, who I liked.

There was a period when I would come visit Pierre at the races quite often, which meant that I spent a lot of weekends in the paddock. Since I was a little girl and Pierre started karting I was a fan of the sport, and I followed Formula 1 for ages now. So naturally, I knew every driver on the grid and had the opportunity of meeting quite a few when I visited Pierre, and Charles as well, since I knew both of them since we were kids.

The thing was, I developed quite a strong crush during that time on a certain Spanish driver. Carlos Sainz was Charles’ teammate at Ferrari and they were great friends and colleagues. I had had only limited interaction with him and I thanked the heavens for that. I would always turn into a blushing, blubbering mess when he was around and I think Pierre noticed that. We never talked about it, but he threw a few teasing comments my way. Until one day, my crush on Carlos was absolutely shattered after a night out.

Pierre asked me to join him at a party with a few other drivers, telling me how Carlos will be there and of course, teasing me about him. And I had to admit, knowing that the Spaniard will be there was one of the reasons I decided to go. While the evening started off fun, I noticed how Carlos was always flanked by women, flirting with as many of them as humanly possible and getting increasingly drunk as time passed. It really ruined the image I had of him in my head, which only worsened at the end of the night.

I was going to the bathroom, pushing through the sea of people to get there. Turning the corner to get to the hallway, I accidentally crashed into someone, almost falling flat on my ass. Not only that, but not even a second after the unexpected impact, I felt something cold splash against my dress and then drip down it.

“Sorry, I-“, I started yelling my apology so I could be heard over the loud music, but the words got stuck in my throat as I looked down at my white dress, which was now stained and ruined.

Not only did I manage to crash into someone, but I also managed to get a drink spilled on me. Great.

“I’m the one who’s sorry, hermosa.”, Carlos slurred his words, his eyes concentrated on my cleavage and the wet stain which made the fabric cling to my body.

I was speechless when I realized it was him; feeling my cheeks burn red from embarrassment and from the attention he was giving me. I was thankful we were in a dark-lit club so he couldn’t notice how much I was blushing.

He finally tore his gaze away from my dress and looked into my eyes, smirking cheekily. His arm casually slipped around my waist and he rested his palm on my lower back. I gulped as he leaned forward, closer to my face. I was frozen in place, not knowing what to do or where was this coming from. Carlos and I were mere acquaintances and now he was putting his arm around me and getting so close to me that I could feel his breath on my neck? What the actual fuck was happening?

Carlos was now almost completely against my body, with his hands firm on my back and slowly travelling lower. His lips were almost touching my earlobe.

“How about I help you out of that ruined dress?” he asked into my ear, making me shiver.

No matter how attractive I thought he was, at that moment, he completely disgusted me. He was drunk, flirting with any woman who was in front of him, and he thought that I would just say yes to that and jump into bed with him? Not a chance.

Now angry, I lightly pushed him with both hands away from me and muttered a “no, thanks.”

He seemed to process my words a bit as he stumbled back and then he seemed surprised. I never expected Carlos to be such an asshole, but here he was, proving me wrong. Serves me right for conjuring up a whole image of him in my head, without actually knowing him.

From what Charles told me, he was funny, intelligent, and nice, but also very sweet, caring and private. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who did anything casually, but rather searched for commitment and something meaningful. Clearly, both Charles and I were wrong.

I walked away from him that night, absolutely fuming. When Pierre saw me come back from the bathroom, he immediately knew that something was wrong, so he took us both home. I didn’t tell him what had happened, I only said that some asshole pissed me off and that I wanted to leave. I couldn’t believe how stupid I was; how I let myself develop this crush and let myself be so naïve. After a while, Pierre also noticed how I didn’t react the same way anymore when someone mentioned Carlos, how I didn’t smile when I noticed him and how I actually dismissed talking about him or to him completely. Since I didn’t want to explain why and acted like nothing was out of the ordinary, Pierre simply stopped with the teasing comments and I avoided Carlos every time I was at the paddock.

Pierre cleared his throat and then snapped his fingers at me, trying to catch my attention.

“What?” I sighed, annoyed.

“Is it Charles?” Pierre asked, grimacing. “Because I don’t think it is.”

“He’s cute, but no.”, I answered simply and Pierre blew a raspberry at my answer.

“Thank God. That would be a bit weird.”

I kept silent, leaving him to think and talk to himself.

“You do realize that I will never let this go until you give me an answer.”, Pierre spoke seriously, sitting up so he could grab the almost empty bottle of wine and pour himself some more red.

He raised the bottle up at me and I offered my glass so he could pour me some more as well. We both settled back into the comfy cushions of Pierre’s sofa and couch.

“I’m waiting.”, Pierre said after a few moments of silence as we sipped the wine.

“Danny is pretty hot.”, I contemplated at loud. “Did you see his outfit for Austin? I sure wouldn’t mind riding that cowboy.”

“Ugh. Gross.”, Pierre frowned.

I laughed at the face he made, loving how easy it was to mess with him. But also, he knew me better than I knew myself sometimes and he realized that I was only joking.

“You asked.”, I shrugged.

“And as always, you lied.”, he looked at me pointedly.

“Daniel is hot.”, I looked away from Pierre’s piercing gaze. “I wasn’t lying about that.”

“Maybe it’s Carlos?” Pierre asked and I turned to face him as he wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively.

I immediately sobered up. “No.”

“Oh, come on.”, Pierre rolled his eyes at me, like I was the one who was being difficult out of the two of us. “I know you had a crush on him. Maybe you still do.”

“I would never date a driver.”, I said simply, taking a few big gulps of the wine.

“Well, I didn’t say date.”

“I also would never have sex with one.”

“Why not?” Pierre furrowed his eyebrows at me. “Speaking for myself, I would definitely show you a great time.”

“Pierre.”, I looked at him sternly.

He chortled, raising his hands up in defence. “Sorry. Force of habit. I always flirt with pretty girls.”

“And that’s my point exactly.”, I pointed an accusing finger at him. “Most of you are complete manwhores.”

“Hey!” Pierre was both surprised and offended at my comment. “That’s not-“

“You’re the prime example and you know it.”, I interrupted him, looking at him sharply. "You're my friend and I love you, but you're a manwhore, Pierre."

Before he could interject, I explained further. “And I don’t care that you are. I’m simply saying, I don’t want that.”

Pierre thought about it for a second. “Okay. Fair enough.”

And that was the end of that.

I didn’t say that yes, I did have a crush on Carlos for the longest time and yes, I kinda still do. He is definitely the one I would pick out of all the guys on the grid. I hated myself for it, but I also couldn’t help it that much. There was a lingering feeling of ‘what if’ and what could be if that night at the club didn’t happen. What was even crazier was that I was actually defending him sometimes and trying to make up excuses for his douchebag behaviour. I mean, how was it possible that both Charles and Pierre, two of my closest childhood friends, absolutely loved Carlos and never had a bad thing to say about him, but I judged him without actually knowing him? My mind wasn’t made up, but rather hopped from one side to another – either hating on Carlos Sainz or making him up to be a perfect guy who only had one mishap that night.

Also, it was becoming increasingly difficult to avoid him since I again started coming to the races more often. There were a few months of me being extremely busy at work and other things that prevented me from going, but I promised Pierre to come to a few last races of the season. Since Pierre, Charles and I hung out together a lot, and since Charles and Carlos seemed joined at the hip recently, it was becoming more of a challenge to pretend like Carlos’ entire existence wasn’t a pain in my ass.

Particularly demanding will be to not bump into him during Pierre’s house party. No matter how big Pierre’s house was, it wasn’t big enough so I could hide at the party with 30-something people there. I thought about bailing, but that was silly; I wasn’t going to miss Pierre’s party just because Carlos made me slightly uncomfortable. I was a big girl and I could handle it.

At least that’s what I initially thought, until I found myself getting ready in Pierre’s room an hour before the guests are supposed to arrive, pacing nervously back and forth as I contemplated about having to endure Carlos in my vicinity for the whole night. It was silly, right? Why was I even thinking about it? I should’ve forgotten about Carlos and this stupid crush a long time ago, but no matter what I did, he always somehow ended up invading my thoughts.

During my little freak-out, Pierre peered into his bedroom to see if I was ready, invading my private moment. I noticed him when he leaned against the doorframe, watching me in both confusion and worry.

“You good?” Pierre asked hesitantly.

I plastered on a smile. “Yeah. Almost done. I’ll be downstairs in a few minutes.”

Pierre narrowed his eyes at me in suspicion. “You sure?”

I nodded, smiling still, but it wasn’t convincing enough to fool Pierre.

“Is it Carlos?” Pierre asked carefully.

I was taken aback by the blunt question which came out of nowhere. He never asked directly what Carlos did to deserve my cold shoulder, he was always very wary about it. Pierre knew we weren’t particularly close, but he also realized that something must’ve happened which made me completely forget about my crush on Carlos. Well, Pierre thought that I didn’t have a crush on Carlos anymore, but that wasn’t exactly the truth.

“I’m not stupid, you know.”, Pierre huffed. “I know your whole thing from the other night when you talked about how you don’t date race car drivers has something to do with him.”

I sat on the bed, defeated. Guess we were talking about it.

Sometimes I kinda wished Pierre didn’t have the ability to notice when something was wrong. Scratch that, I actually loved the fact that he was so sweet and caring, but sometimes it was also annoying. He always assumed this ‘big brother’ type of role and acted very protective of me. Which, again, was sweet at times, but again, annoying.

I looked away from him to stare at a wall. “That rule has nothing to do with him.”

“You’re lying.”

“Am not.”

“You are.”, Pierre chuckled, sitting beside me on the bed. “It’s funny you have that rule because of him, since he is the furthest away from a manwhore, as you so kindly put it the other day.”

I snorted. “Sure.”

Pierre looked at me weirdly. “What exactly did he do at that party?”

He was referring to that party in Monaco, to one I left with a stained dress and a bruised ego, realizing how Carlos was certainly out of my league and how I simply couldn’t and wouldn’t be in that crowd of women surrounding him, waiting who will he pick to take back with him to his hotel room.

"Because if I need to punch him in the face, I think I could take him.", Pierre added in seriousness.

I laughed. "Would love to see that."

Pierre narrowed his eyes at me, giving me a cold look.

Sighing heavily, I let myself fall back on the smooth, plush bed. “I’m gonna sound so bitter if I say it out loud.”

Pierre also fell back on the bed, leaning on his side and resting his head on his hand so he could look at me while we talked.

He waited expectantly for me to continue. “You know I’m not leaving now until you explain.”

So, I did. I told him about Carlos flirting with everyone that night, which wasn’t a problem in itself if he hadn’t approached me the way he did. It was such a stupid thing really, but it showed that he wasn’t the type of guy I would want to go on a date with.

Unfortunately, that didn’t mean that my crush simply disappeared, which was why I was feeling so crappy about seeing him tonight. Pierre understood, trying to comfort me by promising the two of us will party hard tonight and that Carlos wouldn’t even cross my mind. Pierre’s energy truly was infectious, making me giggle with how enthusiastic he was and also how adamant he was to show me a great time tonight. Something that bugged me though was the fact that Pierre defended Carlos a bit, saying how he wasn’t acting like himself that night and that he was just drunk. I didn’t like that excuse very much. I know that Carlos and Pierre were friends, but I just couldn’t comprehend how Pierre defended him so resolutely.

Once again I found myself in the middle of the same dilemma – was I overreacting about Carlos’ behaviour and making him out to be someone that he’s not or was my bad impression right and he couldn’t be trusted?

I had no time to ponder it, because Pierre was already dragging me downstairs to grab a drink and start the party.

For quite some time, Pierre was successful in taking my mind off Carlos and having an amazing time. After all, a lot of my friends were there and I was surrounded by people who I cared about and who I always had fun with. I didn’t even notice when Carlos arrived and I managed to successfully avoid him for most of the evening, dodging any group of people that he was talking to or drinking with. Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but glance at him a time or two, or maybe a few, almost making eye contact with him once because he was already staring at me. I would definitely never admit it out loud, but I also took notice of people he was hanging out with, realizing in surprise that it was mostly Lando and not a pretty brunette in a skimpy dress. A small part of me wondered if this was what Pierre meant; if this was the real Carlos, and the drunk, playboy Carlos was something out of character for him.

Each time I started to think about that more, I took a shot or tried to find one of my friends to distract me. It actually worked, until I found myself leaning on the kitchen island and talking with Charles, noticing from the corner of my eye that Carlos was making his way straight to us. I avoided looking at him, thinking that it was merely a coincidence and that Carlos would just walk past us. That is, until he stood next to Charles and me and I had no other choice but to look at him. The smile on my face immediately faltered and I looked at him in confusion.

I remembered that he probably wanted to talk with his teammate, so I was quick to take my drink, ready to leave. “I’ll see you later, Charles.”

I only managed to turn around before I heard Carlos call out my name over the music, making me freeze in my spot.

“Can I talk to you?” Carlos’ voice was pleading and gentle. “In private, please?”

Turning back around, I was met with Carlos’ expectant facial expression and Charles’ amused one. He was looking at Sainz and me as if he was in the middle of a soap opera. Charles’ eyebrows shot upwards, silently waiting and urging me to say yes.

“What about?” I opted to complicate things, not wanting the anxiety of being in a room with Carlos, alone.

I would probably make a fool out of myself because of my stupid crush and that was the last thing I needed right now.

Charles rolled his eyes at me. “She will. She’s just being difficult for no reason.”

I lightly slapped Charles’ arm, who was already retreating somewhere away from us both, sticking his tongue at me jokingly.

“Such a child.”, I muttered under my breath, making Carlos snigger.

Carlos looked like he wanted to say something, but I was faster. “Just follow me.”

He did as he was told, following me upstairs to Pierre’s room. I was sure that Pierre wouldn’t mind us talking in there, and besides, every other corner of his house was occupied by someone. Along with the music playing, it was impossible to have a normal conversation anywhere but here. Or maybe in the bathroom.

I took a few steps away from Carlos to the middle of the bedroom as he closed the door behind him. I tried not to think about how handsome he looked tonight, wearing a simple shirt with his sleeves rolled up and a pair of black pants. Despite his fondness for casual and simple outfits, he always looked effortlessly attractive. His lush hair always looked perfect, but I could notice that he styled it a bit more than usual. Fuck, it wasn't fair that he looked so good.

“I’m listening.”, I said simply.

“I want to apologize.”

“For what?”

“I know why you’re mad at me and I just want to say that I’m sorry about the way I acted.”, Carlos sounded serious and sincere, looking straight into my eyes.

I looked away, not able to handle his intense stare. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m not mad at you.”

“Oh, come on.”, Carlos huffed. “You’ve been avoiding me for months now.”

I kept silent, not really knowing what to say to that, because he was right about that part.

“Pierre told me why you hate me.”, Carlos admitted, going straight to the point. “About the party in Monaco.”

It took me a moment to mull over what he said.

“He did what?” I asked through my teeth, already fuming. “That little-“

“In his defence, I convinced him to do it. Maybe even blackmailed him a little.”, he shrugged it off like it was a normal thing between friends, which apparently it was.

Sighing in annoyance, I folded my arms beneath my chest in a defensive manner. “For the record, I don’t hate you.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”, Carlos smiled apologetically. “Apparently I was acting like an asshole.”

“Apparently?”

He took a big breath, now his turn to awkwardly look away, as if bracing himself to do something he really didn’t want to do.

“I was so drunk that night.”, he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I don’t really remember much of it.”

I tsked. “Ah. Okay.”

Somehow, that made the whole thing even worse in my mind. Here I was, worrying about that one situation that happened, while he didn’t even remember it properly. Or at all.

“Can you tell me exactly what I did?”

I thought about it for a moment. “You offered to help me take off my dress after you accidentally spilled your drink on it.”

He closed his eyes briefly with a sigh, as if disappointed with his own actions. “I promise you I didn’t mean it like that.”

“So, you don’t want to sleep with me?” I asked in a serious tone, trying to fake being stern and also trying to prevent laughing at the face he made.

“No- I-“, he stumbled over his words. “I do! I want to sleep with you! Uh, I mean- Not right now, but like-“

Not being able to hold it in anymore, a few giggles escaped my mouth as I stared at his panicked facial expression, eyes bulging and cheeks red.

“I was just teasing you.”, I chuckled, biting my lip to keep from laughing again.

Carlos shook his head at me as if he wants to scold me, but with a light smile stretching across his face. “Dios mio. Let’s just forget the last few seconds happened, okay?”

“Not a chance.”, I smirked at him. “I have to torture you a little.”

“Oh, yeah?” Carlos quirked an eyebrow, looking at me in curiosity. “How else will you torture me?”

It was my turn to blush now and feel like he threw me off balance, my mind immediately going to the most inappropriate thoughts. I knew that Carlos was just returning the favour and messing with me, but his words paired with that intense stare were making my brain short-circuit. He stepped closer to me, our bodies close to touching, as he carefully put his arm around my waist. Carlos gave me enough time to push him away, but I didn’t, letting him get even closer. Carefully watching my reaction, he continued as I watched intently what is he going to do next.

Instead of pressing his lips to mine like I expected him to, he instead moved his head to the side of my head, so he could whisper in my ear. “Two can play this game, cariño.”

I couldn’t help it; my hand moved out of my own volition to rest on his firm chest as I looked up at him.

“I don’t want to play games.”, my expression changed as I stepped away from him, pulling my hand away.

Just like that, my walls were up again, the image of him surrounded by a group of models at the club who he was doing body shots with flashing bright in my mind. He got nervous again, I could see it.

“I don’t want to play games either.”, he said sincerely, watching me fold my arms beneath my chest again, just like I did before.

I watched him closely, trying to figure out what he wanted then. Why he wanted to talk and why he was looking at me so unsure now.

“I was drunk that night. It was stupid.”, he sighed, moving to sit on Pierre’s bed in a resigned manner.

A few hours ago I sat on that bed in the same way he did; all tense and anxious.

He couldn’t bear to look at me as he continued. “I was going through a bad breakup. I just wanted to get my mind off things for one night. And I fucked up.”

I instantly softened at his words. Oh.

It wasn’t exactly something I had expected him to say, but I understood. We all did stupid shit after a breakup, especially if it was a painful one. All this time I thought that this was all his personality, that he was partying and bringing women back to his hotel room every other night. If this was a one-time, stupid thing… I completely misjudged him.

Silently approaching him, I sat down beside him on the bed. “It’s not that big of a deal. I was just… A bit shocked, that’s all. Didn’t expect that from you.”

Carlos turned his head to face me. He was met with a soft smile.

“I always liked you…”, he confessed silently. “But, I never had the guts to do anything about it. I guess when I accidentally bumped into you… It was my way of drunkenly flirting with you.”

I chuckled. “Smooth operator, huh?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “It’s embarrassing. I’m sorry.”

“I think you apologized enough.”, I nudged his side softly. “It’s actually kind of cute when you put it like that.”

He got a bit sheepish again, staring at me for a moment. “So, you forgive me?”

“I do.”, smiling wide, I nodded. “It’s hard not to. Especially when you say you liked me.”

“Like.”, he corrected. “I still like you.”

My smile faltered. Not because I wasn’t absolutely ecstatic to hear that, but because I hadn’t expected those words to come out of his mouth.

“You do?”

He nodded, brushing a strand of my hair behind my ear, using the opportunity then to caress the skin of my cheeks with his thumb.

“Because… I like you too.”, I admitted quietly, gazing into his eyes, trying to figure out if this was really happening or not.

My heart was thumping wildly in my chest and suddenly I was a bit light-headed. Carlos beamed, smiling wide. He cupped my cheek with his hand, inching closer. Only this time, he wasn’t tricking me, he was leaning in for a kiss.

Right before his lips touched mine, he stopped. “Can I kiss you?”

Almost instinctively, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him gently to close the gap between us. The kiss was tender but passionate, my hands moving around to the back of his neck, feeling the soft strands of his hair. Carlos was gentle, but eager. His lips were soft and he tasted sweet, but most importantly, he was an amazing kisser. Anything that I ever imagined in my head was quickly forgotten, because the reality was so much better. We pulled away from each other only slightly, trying to catch our breaths. Carlos still had his eyes closed as he pressed his forehead against mine, and I was mesmerized by the sight. When he opened his brown eyes to gaze at me, I had to suppress a gasp at how handsome he looked at that moment. We were both grinning, satisfied with the kiss and the confessions which were apparently a long time coming.

Completely overwhelmed by what just happened, I didn’t know what to say. Carlos was quiet as well, breaking the silence only with another peck on my lips.

It was so easy. Incredibly easy to fall for his charms and let myself trust him, but there was still this tiny voice in the back of my head wondering if it was the smart thing to do.

But, for now at least, I was too distracted and too enchanted by Carlos to worry about it. When he kissed me again, slowly and hungrily, my mind went blank and I completely let myself go to the feeling. The only sensations I was aware of were his lips on mine and his arms around my body, pulling me closer to him.

[your-local-biromantic-ace]

Hello! Can i request for a dg/james x reader

The reader has known dg since he james and is dg's manager, they aren't a fighter but is also weaker than normal people because they are just lazy. So the reader has been in love with james since the first time they saw him and has been helping him with planning since they are more of strategist. They just think james can do no wrong and james always prioritize the reader's safety, needs, likes, comfort, etc.

James is also just as much if not more smitten with the reader and he just loves the reader so much. He has alqays been protecting the reader, comforting them whenever they had breakdowns because being related to james was not an easy task much less being in a relationship but the reader still never left him and he is grateful.

The reader might be weak physically hut they are mentally strong. Do you know cale henituse? The reader is just like him they think they are using people who they get on james's side or allies with but in reality everyone is grateful to have them

Anything is okay it could just be fluff or them planning something related to daniel park or reader being jealous or dg snapping at people who talked bad about reader when he was james or as dg

Just anything related to this guy please!!!

It could just be your own hcs about dating him too!

I just want a dg or james x reader please🥺

This turned out to be veryyyyyy long...😟

Sorry😔

Petty people with their traumatic tactics

➤・ James Lee x Gender neutral!Reader

➤・One shot ; Headcanons

➤・ ooc James(?) , violent bullying tactics

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:: Author's note ⇐

Hello anon!! Don't worry about it being too long, I love your idea (≡^∇^≡)!! Unfortunately the main fic kind of strays away from your idea so I added a few General Headcanons at the end if you don't mind ^^

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Being James' s/o means that your life will be a lot more tough and troublesome that it already was. Not that you aren't ready to jump in hell for him.

Not only was James a Genius, ranking at the top everytime at everything, he was handsome. Such amazing attributes means that he would become everyone's crush. It was expected that when rumours of the two of you dating spread like wildfire, the jealous evil eyes would fall on you.

It wasn't the first time James told them off and snapped at them when he heard them bad mouthing you. They just decided to act like angels in front of him. Showing their fangs towards you when he would leave the scene.

They were jealous. That's it. You always decided to pay no heed to their words. Even though they would get on your nerves sometimes. After all, they would all move on eventually. Boy were you dead wrong. You could never guess that people can go this far , just because you're dating their crush. After all, it just happened in stories ,..right?

Mentally, your body had no limits, you were intelligent, intelligent enough to rank second after your boyfriend, endure most things, etc etc but physically, you were weaker than a normal person.

"Awww y/n~ your face looks like hell, let me fix that for you" You heard Soo-young, your classmate say,you immediately taking steps back to escape only to be stopped by her friend, grabbing your arms and restraint them. The girls were known for their violent bullying tactics, and you were in an empty classroom, no one there to help you.

"Let go of me! " You struggled against her grasp, trying to free yourself. Only to be punched in the stomach by Soo-young, making you wince in pain as your knees immediately gave away, making you collaspe. Soo-young's friend, immediately releasing the grasp she hadhad , you held your stomach in pain as tears started to form in your eyes.

"Y/n ~ it's not nice to squirm like that, I'm only trying to help you.. " The girl said in a taunting tone, bending down and firmly grabbing your cheeks, making you face her .

You had never thought you would be a victim of such bullying. You tried to pry the girl off you , moving your face away from the red lipstick as she horribly swiped it across your lips and cheek .

" What the fuck get off m—" You winced in pain, the girl slapped your face, hard and again grabbed your jaw. Her face now dead serious as she spoke

" Don't you dare scream. You don't wanna know what I would do to you if you did"

"Soo-young !! I found the sissors!! "

The girl looked at her friend and gave a creepy grin at you. You could only shake your head in fear, as you feared for what could happen

"Y/n~ are you ready for your new haircut? "

You shut your eyes tight as you protected your head.

"What do you think you're doing . " You heard a familiar voice say.

You immediately looked up to see James. He held Soo-young's wrist and pulled it away from you. Throwing the sissors away from anyones grasp. The girl immediately rose up and tried to justify herself.

" A-ah! James -- Oppa— I was - she ask- she asked me for the sissors I was just giving it--" Soo-young stuttered as she failed to explain herself only to be interrupted by James.

"Why don't you explain it to the Principal then? He would love to hear your explanation. " You could see the grip on he had on her wrist tighten before fully letting her go. Had you ever seen him this mad before?

Soo-young immediately held her wrist to soothe pain.You could see the fear she felt upon seeing James. It was best for flee away before anything else happens.

"You- you'll regret this! Just you wait y/n! " Soo-young yelled out as she ran out of the room, her friend following her .

" THERE WON'T BE A SECOND TIME FOR YOU TO DO THIS TO THEM!! " James shouted at them, making sure that they heard every single word he said. He then looked towards you. If you were being honest, you were a little scared of him. You were so used to his composed , straight face, even when he was fighting, even when he told anyone off, seeing him this mad made you shiver.

His expression immediately changed to a soft one as he hurried towards you, kneeling down at your height . His hand slowly reached towards your cheek, caressing it softly as he examined your face with pure concern. You immediately reached out to him, wrapping your arms around his body and crying on his shoulder.

"Shhh... It's okay, it's okay, I'm here now... " He repeatedly mumbled, comforting you , rubbing your back as you cried loudly in his shoulder, as he mumbled soft sorrys as he was not there to protect you in time. He then let you go of his embrace, making you face him.

"Shhhh... Let's get you cleaned up okay? " He said as he wiped the tears off your face, and placed a soft kiss on your forehead before helping you get up.

There was only much water could do to the lipstick stain. James gave you a mask for you to wear and the two of you went home to properly clean up.

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・

You sat on his bed as he wiped your face with micellar water.

"... The lipstick stain is mostly gone, did they hurt you anywhere else? " James asked, continuing to wipe your cheek.

"Hmm.... They punched my stomach... " You noticed his movements stop as soon as you said that.

".. What.? Does it hurt? " James said, placing his hand on your cheek and made you face him. You could see worry written all over his face.

"... Not much.. Just aches a bit... " You mumbled.

"Stay here, I'll bring an ice pack for you" James said, placing a soft peck on your forehead before he left the room.

You took your phone which was beside you and looked at your face through the camera.

You looked like a hot mess. Your eyes were red from crying so much, there was a pink hand print from that slap, you couldn't dare to imagine your face with the previous red stain she scribbled on your face with.

You were mad. Mad at Soo-young's petty tactics, does she think you'll stay away from James if she bullies you like this? God bless her other victims, you couldn't think what she had done to others by the way she bullied you.

You heard James return with an ice pack which he gave to you.

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・

"So... How will you —" James said only to be immediately interrupted by you.

"Oh she'll pay for what she did James. I'll make sure of it. " You said , not really facing him as you immediately started to plot for her demise. James could see your eyes turn red with anger. He grinned. You were returning to your usual self

Soo-young chose the wrong person to bully. You were out for blood.

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・

Some general Headcanons

- James loves when you get serious when you're planning a strategy for something. He just thinks you look cute and something about you planning something and showing off your intelligence makes him weak.

- He would always check in on you whenever you're working, bringing in snacks and a bottle of water, and he stays with you, ensuring that you take breakes and not try to stress much.

- Let's just say he actually tried to make you learn atleast the basics, so that you could defend yourself in case he wasn't there. He terribly failed 😔😔 (it's like Og Daniel and Sophia except James just wants you to learn the basics). Well, it's not like you would get in trouble much anyways.

- I don't think you would reveal your face, acting behind close doors. It's for your own safety. So there are silly rumours about you. Both of you always have a good laugh whenever you two hear those rumours .

- imagine you also being there with James and Eugene in ch 431

- like the atmosphere is thickk between you and Eugene and it's not good , like you don't trust Eugene and he doesn't trust you either.

- you two just keep an friendly smile on your face but James swears that he saw pitch black aura seeping away from both of you.