#and bc of that i really cant speak about ANYTHING. NEGATIVE EVER IN MY LIFE because theyll be like 'omggg what abt ur mom? have u thought

[hanarchy]

ooooh i promised @wantbytaemin a post about hanji covers (not that you asked, i just want to talk about it more) and i just came back from listening to your suggestions several times and i have sooooooo much to say ok, so little numbered list again for ease bc i cant shut up to save my LIFE.

Here’s some wishes I would have for jisung if he listened to me

1. Straightforward/Live/Acoustic Instrumental music with some VOCALS!!

This is why i have my country girl agenda, like why i picked kacey musgraves. I love the tinyy snippets we have gotten of him just singing over guitar. The softness, and yes as you mentioned!! The emotionality he can put in his voice!! I would love to hear more of that. Just quiet, no electronic beats, not the usual slightly overproduced instrumentals he gravitates to, I want to HEAR his voice even when its quiet. acoustic, stripped. like fast car, absolutely.

I would just love more rock, more guitars, more real drums (FREE ME FROM THE KPOP DRUM MACHINE). This is why like. arctic monkeys are appealing to me. they have three instruments and alex turner pretending to be cool and the tension in a song like ‘do me favour’ is so thick. Would do Jisung amazing BUT. you’re SO right that he could also build that emotional tension that carrie underwood does on this with his voice (btw hearing this again after years made me listen to shania again, which, fun fact: first album i ever bought with my own money was shania twain ‘up!’) if he just WANTED. I hope he practices more, i hope he collabs with day6 or xdinary heroes. he has the bands IN HOUSE!!

2. More production experiments but specifically more stripped back beats and funkier basslines (and real drums but whatever).

Now this one he is on the way to himself I think.

His production sensibilities are just very pop-focused and i respect it and understand why and I also don’t have the terminology or knowledge to explain what makes both the brent faiyaz song you suggested and the internet different but like. He demonstrated on 1,2,3,4,5 and on Run what that could sound like for him. Those are maybe my favorite hanpop songs so far and i desperately want him to explore this direction more. The vocals on run are so good, relaxed, laid back, the change between lower register and high parts. Now the next thing he should do is make a song with a rap part that offers a nice contrast. Rhythmic, strong, kinda takes you out of it and then plunges ur head back under water. Or if it’s something more melodic, make it airier, more ethereal, more surreal. Like fka twigs yess exactly. nebula by cifika is different vibe but also so atmospheric and a bit otherworldly.

I also think this niche of rnb has become the sound of situationships and messy breakups and i loooove that for him because he occupies that in-between of love and hate so well. resentment, anxiety, uncertainty and yes. pettiness. Which brings me to my next and biggest point.

3. Explore more uncomfortable and ugly feelings.

Listen. This may be the parasocial relationship speaking but I know that kid has some powerful perfectionism and jealousy going on. There’s a self-hatred and a desperation there that, if he were to explore it, would make him unstoppable imo. Now I absolutely understand why his position and his genre make this impossible and I am absolutely open to having a discussion about whether artists are really obliged to share everything or not.

Like this is gonna sound negative to the average kpop stan but i KNOW he is a judgmental little dick. I know he has an ego that is barelyyyy being kept in check (by his own limitations and working in a group) but is also just kind of explosive and i KNOW he knows exactly how good he is but being anything other than humble and only boasting in the context of largely meaningless skz title tracks (im sorry but they havent made a title with an emotion other than ‘look at us being so great at doing our own thing’ since like… idk. levanter. many of them are bangers regardless but explorations of real emotions they are not.) is just not acceptable. This is why i bring up that pettiness so much (lol) bc its the hint of like. an unpleasant emotion that (record execs think) doesn’t sell to teenage girls.

Don’t get me wrong, the anxiety and the romanticism and the fear and the love are all real emotions too - many of them uncomfortable - and he has built and recorded great songs around them. I’m not calling him emotionally dishonest. But they’re emotions that are acceptable for a boygroup member to have publicly. Stuff like Paramore (i dont actually know their discography very well so your input was MUCH appreciated and i agree wholeheartedly) or the way alex turner or julian casablancas write unfavorably about women while it’s extremely clear that the only reason it’s unfavorable is because of their own shortcomings and smallmindedness and self-obsession is something that would simply not be allowed of a man that is being marketed by a kpop company. And yes i do believe it’s uncomfortable for him to explore publicly and there may very well be many other reaons and cultural barriers that i do not understand but this is my wishlist so it has to work with my limitations.

And well anyway I know I’ll never get it but i would just enjoy him leaning into that. Doing some introspection and some scary shit. I think it would be transcendent.

little tangent: (I love bands like hole and sleater kinney and bikini kill because theyre unapolgetic angry women but ironically i used to love kanye west for the same (not exactly but very similar because he was extremely unapologetic in his own confidence and ability and his personality in an industry that didnt want it at first) reason kfkfkdk. hes not ok to listen to anymore and frankly i dont like talking about him and the women in these bands would crucify me for putting him in the same sentence probably. But what they have in common is that they publicly explored and explore emotions that society thinks unacceptable. (If you ever want to hear an EXTREMELY intelligent analysis of kanye and his career, FD Signifier has two incredible videos on youtube that go so deep into like… pop culture, hip hop culture, black masculinity, mental health… just music history. cant recommend them enough))

4. storytelling

listen. what i look for in a songwriter i become obsessed with is so simple: emotionally honest to the point of personal detriment, tells a good story, self-obsessed in a self-hating way, driven by love and the belief in beauty and magic underneath it all and a good hook every now and again. jisung checks most of these boxes and i think tbh he could just learn a lot from country musicians or people like tracy chapman or bruce springsteen or leonard cohen etc etc etc

like do NOT get me wrong i dont think hes bad at it and i also think its likely there are many korean songwriters better suited but due to my personal mental illness this is just sth i think about a lot. what jisungs version of like… Johnny 99 would sound like…

[ritzcuit]

i aam deep in dhurkedatz specifically thoughts today. Oh the them. oh the unspoken of it all. the unlabeled. we got a good thing going. of course this is my ... he's my. You know. well hes my right hand man of course. im the fangs o' the defiant dragon. but that doesnt explain it fully.. thats business. and their lives are almost entirely business but Not Quite. and beyond the revolution they escape description...thats his best friend. that's his datz..

dhurke loves amara like crazy his love for her never died at all ... datz isn't a replacement ... hes just his datz. you know? 20 years of partnership cant go away like that. theyre together. partners!! and rumors fly and theres jokes. call off your boyfriend! so whens the marriage? and theres shared looks and pitying looks and understanding looks and skeptical looks but no one Speaks on it.. its unspoken!! but its there. by god.

like i wouldnt dream of doing anything without you. or that dhurke knows when he gets reunited with his family once more, for real this time, datz is gonna be there. and amara isn't being replaced so shes not concerned at all lol shes like ... what ... and take away his datz? what kind of monster do you take me for :( Like she knows. and everyone KNOWS. thats just his datz. and thats his dhurke. and you cant seperate them its unethical its cruel and unusual punishment its not nice

All the small tiny things... the years of history in each others actions ... the energy and focus shifting between them without needing to ask. in a discussion fixing to break out into a fight datz defuses it. datz tense and uncomfortable outta his mind and dhurke spots the way he tugs at his scarf and makes an excuse for datz to leave early. he asks to be waken up in a few hours so they can trade ofd guard duty and datz says yeah but they both know he'll stay up the whole night just to let dhurke sleep longer (this i stole from such terrible tales bc that detail made me sick) Like Ugh Like i cant Like i just dont know

and its not that they dont want to label it but its just so...what would change really. dhurke knows datz loves him and datz knows dhurke loves him (though maybe some nights he really does need reassurance, and he gets in his head about it, and somehow- through ways datz doesn't have a clue how- dhurke can tell when datz is quiet from upset as opposed to another reason, and he'll take datz's hand and kiss his knuckles and Thank Him so deeply and earnestly that it burns out any negative thought datz has ever had in his life ... crazy.)

and hes the family friend and the sort of uncle and the right hand man and compatriot and everyone knows just by the way they lean against each other and speak in half finished sentences and answer questions that weren't fully asked ... reference jokes from years ago and diffuse each other and the way datz is obviously gloomy when dhurke is gone vs perks up when he comes back And the way dhurke is on edge and his leaderly dad warmth is slightly colder while datz is in prison like even when theyre not together you can tell the impact left on each others lives LIKE IM SICK FOR REAL

[destinyc1020]

having been on twitter myself and very recently left it, i would for sure agree that there's more timmy fans who come for tom, it escalated like mad over the past couple years. of course there's good timmy stans because i am friends with some of them, but it's so so strange how i think that among their fandom some have really made dunking on tom normal and acceptable. the proof of this can be seen when there's a hate tweet for tom made by a timmy stan, there are lots of likes on it from people within the timmy fandom. but on the flip side, when there's a rare tom fan hating on timmy, the tweet has less likes and more quote retweets calling them out or arguing in the comments. at least for toms fandom that seems to signal a less toxic fandom, i get the sense that most of the stans don't really care about the drama and just want to keep on vibing. i don't know what it is that those types of people who get so mean are big fans of timmy, it's certainly not a reflection on him since he's never encouraged that behavior. you're right destiny when you say he'd cringe if he knew what some of his fans say.

i don't know why timmy's fandom is like that, they shouldn't really be feeing insecure, but there's just a sect of his fans that really delight n dragging others down. it's really weird to me, i'm not sure if more of them are younger or cliqueish and that leads to the behavior or what. i'm glad that there's a really open discussion on this page about it bc it's one of the reasons i left twitter i was so done with the constant negativity on tom and also z from the normie dudebro side of twitter. there's a really nice supportive community on there for tz stans, but unfortunately it's just not the greatest for someone sensitive like me. something i've noticed, though, it is hard to stay away from twitter now!! i feel like i got so used to checking it that i almost have an 'itch' now that i'm off my account and deleted the app off my phone. i don't really want to call it an addiction but it feels pretty similar to it, i think the sense i'm getting from a lot of your anons is that people upset by twitter have got to step away from it. if you feel a compulsion to check it like i did, that's a big red flag that it would be a good idea to step away. another thing im glad of is tom speaking up about taking social media breaks. i truly cant imagine what it would be like to read such negative things about yourself or a loved one, so im glad he has the self awareness to step away. this is the longest anon message i've ever written but i love the thoughts you have on this kind of thing destiny, its good to see some honest talk about how fandoms can effect us. fandoms should be for fun so if yall arent having fun for sure reassess!

Thanks for your input Anon 😊

I honestly don't know much about Timmy's fandom tbh, so I can't really speak much on it, but just based on what some of you have said, it just seems to be a huge sense of insecurity on their end? 🤷🏾‍♀️

I mean, if you're solidly sure of your fave, and you think he's the best (or whatever), you won't feel the need to bring down OTHER actors. I keep saying this.

The fact that SOME (notice I said some) of his fans seem to need to put down Tom all the time just gives me the impression that they must view Tom as some kind of a threat. If they didn't, they wouldn't be behaving that way imo.🤷🏾‍♀️

That's my psychoanalysis for the day lol.

Re: Twitter...

Yea, if you're finding it difficult to quit ANYTHING, then technically it is an addiction.... whether you realize it or not. 👀 If you feel anxious or uneasy when you leave social media or delete the app after a few days, then yea, you're addicted lol 😆

You should be able to leave social media alone and feel completely FINE, and not feel like you're "missing out" on anything. You really should be able to live your life without being "plugged in" all the time. 👀

Jmho 🤷🏾‍♀️

I most definitely urge fans to just delete the app and take at least a week off and see how you feel! 🙏🏾 The great thing about this is that the longer you stay away from smthg, the less and less you will feel the urge to be on it.

[mirmidones]

ivy, chamomile, aloe Vera

(Hi m!!! <3)

omg hi dev hiiiii !!!!!!!! <33333

ivy: what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

oh god. difficult question right off the bat. head in hands. so. i'd say maybe the level of silence/partecipation in the conversation? when i'm happy i'm very chatty. while every "negative" emotion makes me more and more quiet and closed off. when i'm genuinely annoyed/angry i stop speaking at all (not on purpose). that's the biggest tell i can think of, especially bc i try to hide what im feeling most of the times but i cant really control that part

chamomile: what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

i like gifts that show that the person knows me and actually thought of me when choosing it. i dont really care about anything else. many years ago i was on a teen wolf kick and i guess i talked about it a lot and at christmas my family got me two pillowcases with images of the cast/characters, out of nowhere. objectively really awful pillowcases, terrible quality both of image and of fabric, i could not sleep on any of them and i didnt have an extra pillow to put them on. yet when i opened them i was so overwhelmed with love i nearly cried and even now if i think about them i get emotional. could be my favorite gift ever. this to say that it literally doesnt matter anything but the thought. when you people send me or tag me in posts that made you think of me, those are actually treasured gifts to me. it's that simple, really.

aloe vera: what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

oh so so many things but i guess. a breakup. this sounds so stupid and insane even to me writing it and it's something so common and there are million songs about that heartbreak and it's not that it sounds like a fun time or anything. but still. i want the good and the bad. and i guess it's really about what it entails: feelings

[petz5]

no one asked but real quick here r my opinions on ranma pairings that come to mind!! obv i’m not trying to say u Cant feel differently abt them, these r just my own thoughts

ranma/akane - if uve followed me for even half a day u already know this is my absolute fave one. yes it’s canon no that doesn’t make it boring, they understand each other on a level the other characters don’t even come close to

ranma/shampoo - die in a fire they r SO bad for each other (shampoo is significantly worse but ranma’s also not great to her)

ranma/ukyo - don’t love it but i suppose she’d be the next best choice after akane (at least as a pairing that could realistically happen in canon bc there’s no way something like ranryo would ever happen). i love ukyo but not with ranma, she doesn’t listen to his wants and honestly i think he’d hold her back, and i also don’t think she ever really was in love w him and just kinda felt obligated bc “oh shit if I cant kill him and I don’t marry him then I’ve wasted my life.” LOVE these two as besties tho

ranma/kodachi - literally dont feel like I need to say anything here, ive never seen anyone ship them

ranma/ryoga - not my cup of tea but I can see why ppl like it. genuinely it’s mostly bc i cant see ranma liking men lmao i mean he flirts w them for free food and whatever but he always gets grossed out when they try to respond. i personally see ranma as a lesbian

ranma/ryoga/akane - same as above except i understand it less. mmmmaybe if akane and ryoga both loved ranma but not each other?? ryoga and ranma had some actual chemistry, but akane and ryoga……… eeehh. speaking of!

akane/ryoga - don’t ship at all. ryoga is kinder to her than ranma if you’re judging on the surface, but he doesn’t fundamentally understand her the way ranma does and doubts her ability a lot more. (to the point ranma has to physically stop him in one episode to tell him “this is akane’s fight, she’s got this and will be mad if you meddle”) also the whole p-chan thing is creepy. i enjoy ryoga as character but i don’t think he fits w her at all

akane/shampoo - don’t like it. i mean i’ve read fics where shampoo admits to liking akane (or even just respecting her as a fellow female martial artist) but also like… that exists outside of canon shampoo to me lol. canon shampoo doesn’t care about other people, and she in particular is homophobic towards akane to her face

akane/ukyo - i like it to an extent! if it were in canon i wouldn’t want it to go beyond like akane blushing when ukyo saves her and maybe offhandedly saying something like “she’s so cool” and ukyo, after spending some time w akane, admitting to herself that she can understand why ranma likes her. i think it’s cute to think abt

akane/kodachi - i love this but only one-sidedly. in canon i’d want kodachi to be Like That with ranma purely to rile up akane bc she wants her attention. i mean literally already in canon kodachi seems to not know what to do once she actually gets ranma other than dangle him over her alligator and wait for akane to save his ass. it’d be a funny twist for her to be doing all this just bc she wants to see akane and doesn’t think to just talk to her like a normal person

shampoo/mousse - don’t like at all

shampoo/ukyo - no real thoughts but I don’t love it. maybe similar to how I feel abt ranryo but while my feelings for that as neutral/positive this is neutral/negative

ukyo/ryoga - i can see why ppl like it and I believe I did too back in 2011 or so when i first watched it, but i feel like most ppl who ship this have only watched the anime (valid! but their manga partners are both great characters imo). I didn’t rlly see it at all upon rewatch and reading the manga put the final nail in the coffin. they’d be fun as friends tho! i like that they have a silly friendship similar to akane and mousse’s friendship where they’re more Worsties than anything but will hang out with and help each other if they need to

ukyo/tsubasa - no. i have very mixed feelings abt tsubasa as is, but ukyo has no interest in him and sees him as an annoyance so i wouldn’t want her to be w someone she doesn’t like (side note: used he/him for tsubasa bc he’s very open abt being a crossdresser. i know that crossdresser is used as a transphobic insult in the series, but… eehhh… tsubasa isn’t really like ranma and konatsu who are both pretty blatantly not cis. he declares himself as a guy all the time, which yeah ranma does too, but ranma’s whole character development is how that breaks down for him)

ukyo/konatsu - yes, i think they’re sweet and konatsu is very supportive of ukyo’s goals. i think this pairing would need more development before i’d really want it declared Officially Canon. i mean it is, but obv ukyo still has some feelings to work out similarly to ryoga and his canon gf, and i think she’d need to more clearly let go of ranma before this could truly blossom in canon. i love konatsu and i love ukyo and i think they’d be good girlfriends after a little work

ryoga/akari - love it, it’s sweet and i LOVE akari. like I said i think ryoga needs to work thru some shit/let go of akane to truly appreciate akari, and it’s annoying he’s still attached to her when he has a gf but i understand it’s difficult to just Stop liking someone you’ve liked for prob a solid year or so just bc u got asked out by someone else

these are all the ones I can think of rn but ur more than welcome to ask if u want my thots on any other ones lol

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

[piningeddiediaz]

I personally think Pynch anniversary is November 2nd because 1st is ronans bday and idk they kissed and all and probably talked through the night and i think it makes sense that the anniversary would be November 2 but thats just me. They’re basically together now for 1 yr and idk 1-2 months. Since they got together 1 yr before adam left and now it’s November/December again.

I have a question btw. Why do you think so many people seem to dislike Adam and/or Declan? I mostly am following pynch / Adam blogs but i see a lot of negativity too and idgi.

I personally like gansey and blue for example even tho they’re not perfect but actually no character is, not even adam even tho i love him dearly. But so much of the stoey happens bc of adam and idk…

Also I hate kavinsky apologists or people who say ronan had a crush on him wtf 😳 like. No. Kavinsky was disgusting and yeah maybe lost too but an asshole nonetheless. Ronan was already riding his crush on adam wave and he def wasnt interested in kavinsky except for the racing and dreaming convos ?! Sorry brain dump

yeah, I suppose that makes sense. depends on when you define their anniversary ig? is it an anniversary when you first kiss? when you admit feelings? when you officially declare you are together? I sure as fuck wouldn't know!

and oh boy, I have thought about why people hate Adam a lot and I think Adam perfectly described why in trb - "rags to riches isn't a story anyone wants to hear until after its done." I can't speak for everyone, but it wasn't until end of trb/start of dream thieves that I started to like Adam. I liked gansey immediately, but barely skimmed over adam's chapters until we got to his "what do you want, Adam? to feel awake when my eyes are open" because suddenly I could understand with vivid clarity why I was so eager to not pay attention to Adam - it's because he is real. gansey, at least at the start, was not. he was from the get go established to be the typical male lead. handsome, popular, rich. he's privileged but tries to be humble (even when he fails at it), he tries to be a good friend (even tho sometimes he fails at it). gansey was presented to be the kind of protagonist we are all familiar with. we've seen him in nearly every piece of literature. but Adam? Adam is real. Adam is like the average person. he doesnt get to hope for a future, he has to make one. he understands this fact, perhaps more and way earlier than any other person might, and he wont let anything stand in the way. in trb it made him appear to be cruel, because when people read books about friendship they want it to be all or nothing. you would give up your life for your friend. you would give up everything for them. and so the audience, who are already naturally inclined to immediately go towards gansey, are frustrated at Adam because he's your friend! he just wants to help you! it's not until adam's arc ends that people really understand where Adam comes from, why adam does this. you cant give something to someone who has always had nothing and expect them to not think it doesnt come with strings attached. in the real world, it always does. and I think that is why adam's character arc hits all the more. I thought he was an interesting character from the start, but it wasn't until dream thieves, it wasn't until Adam had really really started his character development, that I finally understood. to me, personally, thinking too hard on adam's character was uncomfortable because then I would have to face the reality of life. liking gansey was safer, because he is the prince. the hero. the one you know is going to make it out in the end. the one you're supposed to like. but then Adam, who was supposed to be the side character in gansey's story, makes his own. he becomes the protagonist, takes charge of the story and the narrative - he doesnt just get the title of protagonist, he specifically makes it for himself. and honestly, I dont think adam's absolutely amazing spectacular character development hits as well if you didnt dislike him at the start because, Maggie makes sure you inevitably have an 'oh' moment where you realise that its been about adam parrish all along. its one of the main reasons why I will undoubtedly say Maggie Stiefvater is my favourite author - she is so good at manipulating her readers!

the same goes for declan, I think. we're not supposed to like him, because aside from that one pov he has, we only see him from the perspective of people who don't like him. I personally liked Declan right from the start, but I am in the minority because I know what its like to have to parent your shithead brother because your parents wont. but we were intended to not like declan until we finally saw his story from his pov in the dreamer trilogy. again, expert storytelling by mstief.

(tho if you still dont like declan and adam idk what to tell y'all. maybe reread the book with critical thinking skills?)

and yeah, I have to agree with you there. I have a lot of problems with a lot of things gansey and blue - especially gansey - do (more or less all of dream thieves??? I dont think I will ever forgive gansey for the car convo) but I cant say that makes me hate them exactly, because they are very complex characters.

and yeah dont even get me started on kavinsky. tbh I have his tag blocked and dont ever interact with any k posts. he was gross and disgusting and im glad he died.

[oftheredmoon]

my abuser abused me. after 10 years i broke my silence and told my childhood friend. i didnt want justice or anything bc i didnt want to destroy my family, i just wanted to confide in my closest friend. she immediately ran around town and told everyone. 2 years later, i found out random people knew about my trauma and were threatening my abuser as well as on the verge of involving my family. so i lied. and said i lied about the abuse. a lot of people in town hate me. ex-childhood friend hates me and victimizes herself; everyone takes her side. my abuser hates me and rather than be grateful that i took one for the team (since we both know what he did) he uses it against me. tells me he hates me because “you know what you did” on party chat in front of the handful of people who still speak to me.

i can never confide in anyone about this due to cultural reasons. i’m stuck living in a looped hell. people think im some mentally ill wacko who went off the deep end and tried to drag innocent people down with me. i dont do drugs. i dont drink. i dont have an escape. i dont have friends anymore. suicide is not an option. confiding in people is no longer an option. coping mechanisms dont work anymore. self-harm never worked and just made me feel stupid. moving out/running away is not an option. therapy didnt help, neither did meds.

i think the most painful thing is the blatant fact that i will never truly be happy.

i’m expected to get married and have children. i want to get married and have children. but how am i supposed to let my husband lay a finger on me without screaming and crying? how am i supposed to explain that the reason i breakdown everytime he compliments me is because nobody has ever paid attention to me before? how am i supposed to be a good wife and have a good job when im completely talentless and stupid because i spent my whole childhood in a locked room neglected? how am i supposed to a healthy partner when the very thought of him becoming slightly annoyed with me or ignoring me is enough to send me into a psychotic breakdown? how am i supposed to explain why im so mentally ill? why i have psychosis, ptsd, depression, anxiety, adhd, and borderline personality disorder. why im constantly dissociating. how am i supposed to explain why im so physically ill? my heart, my blood sugar, my ulcers, the migraines, the potential cysts, crohns disease, the fact that i can hardly eat without throwing up, the fact that my body has dealt with so much stress that its already giving up at 20 years old. i could keep going, but i wont.

its getting hard to feel anything anymore. i’m no longer in touch with reality. when i try to think about myself my appearance, my name and all the things that once defined me do not come up. im hardly human at this point. i wake up, eat, stare at the wall for 8 hours, eat again, maybe do some homework, and play xbox for a few hours before my abuser inevitably makes a comment and i get triggered and leave before i breakdown in front of everyone.

“just tell ur future husband!!” cant, its not that simple, im not from the west.

“find a supportive/understanding man!!” see above plus: no man is going to put up with a complete emotional trainwreck who can hardly function: thats a receipe for creating a cheater.

“find a friend group that your abuser doesnt hang out with!!” cant, everyone hates me, this friend group is the most successful one ive ever had, im scared of making new bonds, theyll all leave eventually.

“make online friends!!” i have very negative experiences with online friends, id rather not.

“seek professional help!!” already tried, didnt work, they would call the cops if they knew half the shit that happened to me, therapy is not the solution to everything.

“why did u say u lied in the first place...?” bc my abuser going to jail/being confronted by all of this wouldve destroyed my family. i couldnt let that happen.

“why did u expect ur abuser to be understanding and grateful..? they’re an abuser lol...” bc after the whole thing blew up and everyone hated me, we had a mutual agreement and understanding to make it water under the bridge in order to protect our family. guess i was wrong to think he cared about them.

“what do u want me to say then lol... ur not willing to help urself” i cant help myself. “my hands are tied” is the biggest understatement of the century.

this post is not to find my cure. i didnt make this post because i want people in my dms showing me that they’re concerned.

if ur concerned about me harming myself, dont be. you have my 100% guarantee that i will not self-harm or attempt suicide. i gave up on that years ago.

this post is to vent.

this post is for people who are in similar situations as me. people who cant find a way out. people who cant turn to escapes such as drugs. people who protect their abuser whether out of love or for the sake of others.

you’re not the only one. i understand. i know. its hard. you’re drowning. no one will grab your hand no matter how much you reach out. in the rare cases that someone does come you pull away. you’ve lost the best years of your life to trauma and mental illness. it feels like theres no point. nothing helps. nothing works. you’re practically a zombie. you often trigger yourself to cope. you just want the pain to end. you dont want to feel anymore. you want to feel something. you dont want to remember. you want to be loved. you want a sign that you belong here. you want to enjoy life. you want to die. you’re afraid of living but you’re afraid of death.

i’m so sorry you’re hurt. i hope you find peace and salvation in a safe manner. i hope you heal and enjoy life to the fullest.

dont really know how to end this. i hope we’ll all be okay. i hope everyone whos been traumatized can find peace on earth. i hope breathing can start to feel a little easier. sorry this is so long. take care of yourselves.

[gg-astrology]

Helloooo :) I don't know if it is too late but, what do you think of cap sun taurus moon? :o

HAH WE HAVE THE SAME PLACEMENTS!!!! 💕 ITS CALL OUT TIME!! 💕💕

(and no ure not too late don’t worry 💕 thank u for dropping by anyways!!)

[Below Cut: Capricorn Sun - Taurus Moon 🍃]

We’re a lot more earthier than our usual earthy counterparts, like if anything if we’re not surrounded by atleast 5 trees we Will Die

It gets especially hard living in an urban city because….we might not be accessible to parks all the time.

Although we might like leafy greens and fauna, some of us may have a hard time motivating ourselves to keeping them alive/grow our own garden even when we like the ~aesthetic~

Second most self-praise thing is our voice. With the combination of Capricorn/Taurus you might realize that we tend to have influential voices when speaking to others (others see reasons/listens to us– can be kind of like the ‘therapist’ in groups of friends because they tend to give solid advice and tries to make it practical for others)

It’s a persuasive ability, where we give other people nudges towards the right direction usually through a socratic dialogue (like asking them questions and letting them find the answer themselves)

Because Taurus is ruled by Venus, we appeal to the emphathy/putting ourselves in other people’s shoes (social relationships) to show others how to view things differently

There’a terrible stubborn streak amongst us, where we feel like we constantly need time to ‘digest’ experiences in order to utilize them fully.

Our time works differently than others, 2 days weekend isn’t enough to do that. And once things start picking up we switch gears from ‘oh no I don’t have time to absorb’ into ‘fuck I gotta find my pattern’ in order to survive

Always in survival mode, the bare minimum. Keep a straight-focused outlook on things so we could concentrate on it instead (while in the moment)

Switches between moments of independency (and cherishing it) and wanting support/to be surrounded by others and help them (in the domestic life/sphere).

If your bed and your room is your friend. This is your ‘safe space’ and you can never work here. You’ll have delegated ‘spaces’ for working/productivity. Thus it becomes a conditioned ‘motive/pattern’ you set for yourself.

You can try to be soft an gentle, but you will Realize that you are a very straight-forward and blunt person. We all look constipated when we try to phrase something in a different way, often we don’t come up with a gentler phrase so we just– drag it out, cautiously to see if the other person is receptive to it or not.

Surprisingly we say ‘sorry’ quite often bc we Know other people might put it gentler than us but we don’t know how to Do It

AH most important thing— quiet doesn’t mean shy. Although we can tend to be shy early on in our childhood (*if it comes to that). Quiet is just comfortable, like ‘I don’t have to say stuff if I don’t have anything to say’ when you’re comfortable with urself/ur company y know

Most people might think we’re being ‘unnaturally quiet’ if you have an active Mercury/Venus that says otherwise— but there are moments where you’re just— chilling, and people are concerned even when you’re just ‘absorbing’ the view

When you’re stress, it shows. When you’re really anxiety ridden and nervous, others can tell it in your oppressive silence. Your face blanks out, and that normally doesn’t happen. Your eyes vacant, and your close friend can pick that up pretty quickly.

Although you like to touch and be touched, you can also be demanding about it. Like ‘pet my hair’ ‘squeeze me tight’ or something specific like ‘hold onto my rib-cage/sides’ — it’s weird I know. But it’s like, if you want something you ask for it or you go get it. 

Emotions are— hard. Because you tend to hide your own pains/bury them a lot. You’re not even aware that you feel more than what you feel in the moment. Capricorn suppresses and Taurus redirects. So you’re not even sure where your emotions go when in hiding.

Sometimes you can be in the shower and think ‘have i ever felt jealous?? envious of people???’ and it takes a little more time and retrospection to get familiar with emotions

Accepting ‘negative’ emotions and ‘ugly’ behaviors in yourself is extremely hard to do. This is because you pride yourself in being ‘kind’ to others. Thus you may be much stricter on yourself than you are with anyone else.

Doesn’t mean you don’t get strict with the people around you, you do. Especially when they’re doing detrimental things to themselves. You’re much better at dealing with them than your own problems though.

Sometimes your retrospection eats away at your thoughts at night, things to do, functions to execute, where are you now? What have you done? Are you going to be happy in say 5 years? What do you have for your ambitions?

You can be protective of people around you, especially after you see them cry or in pain. Your protective instinct kicks in really strongly, and you may have trouble letting them have autonomy without atleast giving them a hard look and saying shit like ‘ok, if that’s what you think/makes you happy’. 

With your best friends, you may used to have the idea that they’re yours. 

Your best friends. Your people. Especially in early childhood, having to ‘open yourself up’ and your friendship up to accepting new people throws you into an internal tantrum.

Still now, you might find that you better with one-on-one approaches to ‘getting close/to know people’ than large group settings. If you’re truly going to have a personal opinion on someone, you have to see them outside the context of a barrier– your mutual friends.

Your own chemistry with other people (one-on-one) matters a lot, because it lets you know how you’re doing. Who you are, what your flaws are and whether you have a different ‘side’ to you that comes out when you’re with them as well.

The thing about you is– you’re inherently honest. To the point where you can’t hide it or stifle it, even if you try your body/mind will scream at you for even attempting to do so. You’re a slave to your own honesty, but it’s also your advantage and your disadvantage.

You have immense capabilities to be understanding to others, and to help others who trust you because of this honesty. 

And because you hold yourself valuable for your integrity to people (heart-to-heart, one-on-one) you don’t ever let yourself consciously try to bring them down or let them have a reason to doubt you otherwise.

Even thinking about how people could misinterpret your actions as something with ulterior motive (threaten to discredit your integrity) you take pre-cautions to make sure everyone is on the same page, everyone understands where it’s coming from.

You don’t leave a stone unturned when you do something, you want to do your best but that also requires preparation works. Ground works, for you to focus on just diving into it later. You don’t deter from it at all, and meticulously prepare the ‘grounds’ for yourself every time.

Your humbleness comes from your core. But since you’re so focused on working/preparing and your side of the story all the time. You have a harder time ‘switching’ gears to being on the receiving end of things.

You’d have learnt earlier on in your life that you can usually have an ‘automated’ response to things/circumstances that requires responses. But you don’t ever want to appear insincere or disingenuine so you try your best to put yourself 100% in giving people sincerity at all times.

You’ll learn– that this tends to wear you out. And you require time away from people in your own space. You might like to bury yourself under 10 blankets, give yourself a good scrub in the bathroom or get tucked away in a corner doing your own thing. Personal comfort is rejuvenating to you, but you can let it get too far and make a bad habit of not going out because of it too.

You’re a homebody but you may pride yourself in the opposite. You bring attention and light to when you go out, what you did with people, what you saw today. Watch that you aren’t doing this to subconsciously ‘persuade’ yourself that you deserve to relax at home because you’ve ‘earned it’ (going out becomes an ‘achievement’, which in itself isn’t terrible but you tend to let yourself get comfortable/have a pattern that may be harder to break out of– and that generally leads to a sense of dread for you later on when you want to ‘switch gears’ to something else)

You’re a creature of habit, so try to make a journal or ‘check list’ for things whenever it appears (like ‘you have a meeting at 3pm, this has to get done by thursday, do groceries on this specific day because otherwise you won’t have time – use it like you have a secretary). 

Whenever you need to check, you have the journal to remind you of ‘obligations’ you have to work through.

If you don’t, you can let your days get past you or forget about things you have to do.   

Grocery shopping, especially when you have time to journey alone (and not talk to anyone)– is less of a chore and more like a place where you can enjoy self-care without feeling unproductive about yourself.

If you ever feel like you’re having a bad day, go grocery shopping. Splurge on some meats and make yourself a steak. If you’re a vegetarian, try looking for new things to try in these moment of vulnerabilities.

Also, don’t be afraid to buy dolls. Especially the big ones that are like 9′ tall and towers over you. You’re going to enjoy having a new seating space for yourself. Lie on it’s stomach, play on your laptop. 

You’ll do better with a cuddle buddy who doesn’t have their own needs (inanimate) when your partner/friends are less free to spend time with you. 

Don’t be afraid to initiate physical contact, if you want someone to kiss your checks. Ask to kiss theirs. Show them– through demonstration and response – how to physically care for you the way you might want/need it to.

You can be disgustingly cute with people even when you’re not in a romantic relationship with them, mostly because you think everyone deserves to feel loved even without it being romantic. Everyone deserves to feel cared for, adored and not less than a romantic partner.

There’s no shame in craving intimacy, from friends or from lovers. You know it’s different because your ‘shades’ with romantic partners are a lot more intense/directed. But that doesn’t mean you put your love for your friends second to your lovers.

Let yourself get giggly and bubbly, feel loved and adored. Let yourself open up about past experiences, situations you need help with. Let yourself admit to your friends/people around you how you feel, so that they can support you when you can’t support yourself.

That’s all I have for now 💕 This one is quite long mostly because I was thinking about it too much 💕 I hope it’s applicable to you ;; 💕💕    

[anti-mistajules]

For the aromantic asks, would you pick which ones you want, or if you could do all of them? I’ve never heard about it before but I’m really curious and would like to know more from your point of view

Well bc you’ve never heard of it before here’s a little definition I got from here (if u wanna read more about it):

An aromantic is a person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others. Where romantic people have an emotional need to be with another person in a romantic relationship, aromantics are often satisfied with friendships and other non-romantic relationships.

What arospec label(s) do you identify with?

I’m just plain ol Aromantic

Sexual orientation?

Bisexual

Are you romance-repulsed?

To a degree? I don’t usually mind seeing romance in media, I just get a little uncomfortable with seeing PDA and when people view me in a romantic way I feel like physically sick.

Do you relate to voidpunk?

Do I relate to what now?

What kinds of attraction (romantic, sexual, aesthetic, sensual, platonic, etc) do you experience?

Sexual, aesthetic, and platonic definitely! Im not too big on sensual attraction and I don’t feel romantic attraction at all.

How do you like to show people you (platonically) love them?

I’m a huge ‘acts of service’ and ‘gift’ person! I do whatever I can to make things easier for my friends and try to give them gifts they love and deserve! I also like to spend time with them when I can and talk about whatever! Basically if I can talk to you on the phone or in person past 12am, I love you friend!!

Do you want to remain single all your life or do you want to have some sort of life partner?

I wanna remain single, I really need my alone time I couldn’t imagine living with someone for an extended period of time.

If you want one, what is your dream partner?

no! 

Which is your favorite of the 3 aromantic flags?

Uhhh fuck im not too flag savvy??? I like this one:

Your opinion on soulmates?

allonormative as fuck and perpetuates the idea that you need another person in your life to ‘complete’ you which is complete garbage!

Your opinion on shipping?

Shipping is fun but I don’t get too into it.

Do you ship characters in romantic/sexual relationships, or do you only ship characters in familial and platonic relationships?

Honestly all of the above but mostly platonic and sexual.

Are you out to anyone in real life?

My close friends and my immediate family. Or at least I tried to come out to them but they were just like “you won’t get married?? Ya right lol ur stupid” and I didn’t use the word ‘aromantic’ so I guess technically im not out to them?? Its not something I hide, but when explaining it to others I don’t use the word bc I don’t wanna explain or want people to think im one of those “tumblrinas’ who ‘make up orientations’ bc there’s a lot of negativity to unpack there so I just don’t bother

How did you come out?

Once I found out what aromanticism was I immediately related to it so I told my best friend first and we had a conversation about it and then Id just be like “hey I don’t get why people date people…I don’t wanna do that” to everyone else.

Do you know any aromantic people in real life?

Nope! I would love to meet some!!

How do you feel about your aromanticism?

Honestly its so freeing…I feel very validated knowing there’s a whole community of people who feel the same way I do about romance. Im pretty proud to be aro with my friends and online but irl to my family and acquaintances Im not as open with it.

What is the worst part of being aromantic?

The lack of representation and the constant erasure. I highkey hate being grouped with asexuals so much bc not every person who is aro is ace and vice versa! They’re separate orientations but they are NEVER treated like it and its so annoying. (THIS IS NOT ACE HATE!! I SUPPORT ACES WITH ALL MY ARO HEART!!! LOVE YALL!!)

Also the constant fear that you cant be friends with the opposite sex bc they’ll always want to be romantically involved and that your allo friends will leave you for their S/O lol

ALSO WHEN UR PHONE CHANGES AROMANTIC TO AROMATIC >:///

What is the best part of being aromantic?

Not being in a relationship lol people complain so much about their relationship troubles and im like ‘damn COULDN’T be me’

How did you find out about aromanticism?

I found out through either Tumblr or google I cant remember which??? Or maybe I saw it on Tumblr and googled it? Either way Tumblr was a factor

When did you know you were aromantic?

I tried dating my best friend and ended it in like 3 days bc I felt so fucking weird about the whole thing like very uncomfortable??? Like I felt like I couldn’t talk to him about certain stuff anymore and just being called someone’s “girlfriend” makes my skin crawl. I always had some weirdness around romance but I thought it was just bc I haven’t “found the right person yet” but if anyone was the “right person” it was my best friend and I couldn’t do it. So I did some research and found out about aromanticism, related so hard, and have been very happy with the label ever since.

Do you have any aromantic headcanons?

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG AND BRUCE BATMAN WAYNE ARE AROMANTIC AND YOU WILL PRY THOSE HEADCANONS OUT OF MY COLD, DEAD HANDS YOU COWARDS

What would be your dream representation of an aromantic/aro-spec character?

An aromantic character who is allosexual (preferably bi) who loves their friends and family and would do anything for them! Doesn’t go “EW!!! GROSS!!” At romance but is just like “nah ill pass, loving my friends is all I need!” and isn’t super oblivious to romantic gestures or infantilized/made into a joke for not being interested in romance. Also if they call out allonomativity that’d be tight

Who is your aromantic icon/idol?

NOBODY BC THERE ARE NO AROMANTICS IN MEDIA

What is your favorite song that relates to aromanticism, or is simply not about romantic love?

Analysis Paralysis by Awake at Last (At least I don’t get a romance vibe off of it??) and Sonic Youth by Crush 40 for all you Sonic fans out there. (And honestly most sonic songs are aromantic BANGERS)

What is your favorite movie that is not focused on romance?

BATMAN V SUPERMAN !!!

What is your favorite tv show that is not focused on romance?

POKEMON !! Im gonna be honest with y’all I think the reason Im aro is bc I watched nothing but Pokemon until I was like 10 (I didn’t stop I just also watched other things) and it is the least romance oriented show ever like….while y’all where out watching Disney princesses ‘fall in love’ or whatever I was crying over Pikachu’s Goodbye so don’t talk to me about heartbreak. Also Ash and Pikachu’s friendship (and of course his friendship with all his traveling partners) really fucking resonated with me and I think thats why I hold my friends above all else.

What popular romantic pairing do you see as only platonic?

SONAMY

Do you experience squishes?

I think I’ve had maybe one or two but they went away quick once I realized that I just like this person bc I think we’d be good friends and I get excited at the thought of making longterm friends.

Do you own any aromantic pride merch or outfits? What are they? If not, what would you like to own?

I do not but id love to own a flag or two

Do you have any advice for anyone who may be questioning if they are aromantic or on the aromantic spectrum?

Just own it. I’m actually actively trying to take my own advice bc like I said I don’t use the word irl but like,,,if you think you’re aro or somewhere on the spectrum, find a label that speaks to you and just own it. Being Aromantic isn’t cringey, its a valid orientation just like any other and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Ive spent too much time pretending to be alloromantic just to fit in, I’ve embarrassed myself too many times by pretending to be allo, Ive gone too far into my life pretending to be something im not just because its easier for others to understand. Ive gone through too much to discover my orientation to have some fucking losers on the internet tell me that its ‘not a real orientation’. Im aromantic. I feel comfortable in that label and no one can take that away from me.

[jeans-journal]

May 17, 2022

Its been a while since I’ve been on here. That doesnt mean there werent times where I wanted to write down my lowest moments. I’ve had many actually, and today isnt even the lowest. But i wanted to go on here to update my life.

I am still dependent on my family as pathetic as it sounds. People my age are married, have stable jobs, are starting a family etc. and I still dont even pay my phone bill, i dont know how to drive, and I’ve never dated anyone.

The truth is that I dont even have the motivation to learn to drive, find a better job, or even date. I can’t even imagine myself ever doing these things bc that’s how low of a self esteem I have. I’m at a point where i dont care about any of that. I really dont care about anything at all. I am just waiting to see where life takes me. I dont have anything to look forward to. Honestly speaking I wouldnt mind d wording. I use to say well who will take care of my sister when she’s older and my family are no longer here? But at this point i stopped caring, as bad as it sounds. I really hate ever being born. I dont want to be here. I really hate it. I want to break free from the dependence of my parents, but i cant afford it. I dont have enough income to support myself. I know I probably have some medical issues but I can’t be bothered to even care. I am tired of being the only person in the household, besides my grandmother, who cares about feeding our pets. No one cares and I hope these people never own pets ever again. My family are very toxic we all need help, and as much as I would like to leave them, i cant and not because I want to but because I’m broke. And while I come here to talk about negativity I might as well end it with some things that I’m actually proud of:

• I am now attending a university. A hard one to get into.

• I now own my own bank account.

• a psychic said I wouldnt be alone forever

• i got the chance to visit mexico and meet my late uncle last year.

• i got to visit japan in 2019

[fairycosmos]

everyday i feel so fucking gross & ugly and depressed i cant stand people looking at me. i hate going to school, i never ever go out or hang w my friends on the weekends & im scared to get a job bc im so insecure and i keep comparing myself to everyone i meet. i truly feel like im a disappointment and a failure. i feel so pathetic and im scared that the rest of my life is gonna be this way. and im mad at myself for not trying harder but i have for the past 18 years and im tired. im so worthless.

:(( i'm so sorry to hear that my love. feeling that way every single day must be so fuckin exhausting and i'm v v proud of you for getting through it. seriously. it's much more difficult than most people realize. i know i cant say anything that will instantly make everything better, and you don't have to read all of this, but please please try to believe some of it. when you're depressed as hell, your mind sort of turns against you, right? it can't be trusted. all of the things it's telling you are products of your low self esteem and mental health issues - they're not facts, no matter how much it feels like they are. other people aren't seeing you the way you perceive yourself, okay? they're not looking at you and thinking you're ugly or gross, because in reality, in the tangible present beyond your own insecurities, you're not. allow yourself that self awareness. you don't have to believe every thought you have, and you don't have to act on every urge you feel. you can just let them be. they only mean something if you say that you do. you have more control than you realize.it seems like most of this is stemming from how you personally feel, and since you're in emotional turmoil, the results are bound to be chaotic. you FEEL like you're a disappointment, you FEEL like you're worthless, you FEEL unattractive - so you just assume that's who you ARE as a person, who you'll always be. when theres no proof of that at all. theres no reason to believe that youre not a strong, capable person with a lot to offer if you look at yourself as a multidimensional being. being depressed doesnt take your goodness away from you. there's a difference between you and your self hatred, okay? instead of recognizing yourself as a flawed human, giving yourself room to grow, you're pushing yourself further into a corner by calling yourself a failure. i get it, your mind tells you that, so it's v hard not to buy into it. but you don't have to, i promise. you can learn not to. where you're at right now is genuinely not where you'll always be.when i'm dealing with my own shit, the idea that life is a lot longer than i believe really helps me out. we're the same age, and i really feel like we're SUPPOSED to be confused and intimidated by the future. and though the worry feels permanent, it comes and goes. it's possible to manage it as you grow up and learn how to exist one year at a time. its alright to be lost and upset and to not know the answers, you don't need to. who you will be at thirty will be v different to who you are at eighteen - things are guaranteed to change, to improve. there will always be sadness and obstacles of course, but it won't always be this blinding and intense. it's so easy to become disillusioned with life, but having a side open future and existing at all is somewhat of a miracle. it really is.that being said, if you're feeling so awful, i don't blame you at all for not wanting a job or to hang out or to do anything. im exactly the same. but it all starts with you. and if you're not comfortable in your own skin, you're not going to be comfortable anywhere. that's why i really believe that the only thing you need to worry about is making your mental health a priority. i'm not just bullshitting, and i fully appreciate how difficult it is, but sometimes you have to actively jump start periods of positivity and strength. mental illness is just as serious as physical illness, you know? and it's alright to need help/medical attention. most people do at one point or another. please don't just roll your eyes at this, please believe me. talking to a professional will genuinely change the quality of your life if you want it to. it can be a counsellor, a therapist, your regular doctor, a support group in your area etc. even calling a hotline/speaking to your parents/a teacher/a friend to begin with will lighten the weight. it doesn't have to be a big deal. healing starts with being fuckin honest about what's going on in your head. people understand more thsn you think they do. many have been where you ate now. and actually confronting the issue and actively figuring out why you hate yourself and where the depressive moods are coming from, will allow you to overcome them eventually. seeing a professional will also enable you to adopt healthier coping mechanisms into your life for when you feel yourself slipping into a dark place. there are ways to hold on and to keep a grip on reality. you can cut the cycle short and stop the negative thoughts before they have a chance to begin, by conditioning your brain to do so over time.i'm not saying it'll instantly solve everything, or that you won't be nervous. opening up is a weird, stressful thing. you will be vulnerable, because you need to be. but what's more scary - staying silent and letting this get worse and worse, or talking to someone you trust and getting it all out? reaching out is genuinely not as far fetched as you think it is, it's completely realistic. you can pick up the phone, make the appointment, research mental health facilities and resources in your area. you really really can do it. the only thing stopping you is your mind, which as we've established, is not looking out for you right now. and the underlying factor in all of this, the thing it always comes back to, is that you are not worthless. you're not. you were born with an inherent worth, dude. your sadness can't take that away from you. no matter how much you don't want to believe it - the simple fact that you're alive means that you're significant. and it means you deserve to be happy. youre doing so so well by being here to read this. the fact that you sent this ask means you want help on some level, even a subconscious one. so please, just consider it. look at the situation objectively and decide what you need to do to pull yourself back from the brink of this. and then, when you can, do it. one step at a time. i really hope you're okay. i'm sorry i couldn't be of more help, cause i understand where you're coming from. just. you're not alone, and you don't have to deal with it as if you are. please message me if you ever need a friend or if you want to talk properly. i'm always here.

[clownmoontoon]

I'm interested in watching Osomatsu-san, but I have a few questions, if that's ok. 1. Sub or dub? 2. How do I know who's who? I already know some of the easy ones, thanks to you. Thank you in advance! (P.s. Thanks for telling me about BNHA!)

ITS A REALLY GREAT ANIME AND IT HAS SOME OF THE BEST CHARACTER WRITING I HAVE EVER SEEN. IT IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF MY TOP FAVE ANIMES EVER

HOWEVER

idk how old you are (or the age of anyone possibly reading this) so i feel i should say Osomatsu-san has a lot of mature themes and is CLEARLY meant for a more mature audience of the adult/college age/MAYBE later teen variety

all the main and most important side characters in the show are at least in their 20′s.

im not recommending this show to kids is what im saying haha

its nowhere near as wholesome as hero aca

ANYWAY ONTO YOUR QUESTIONS

1. Sub or Dub?

as of right now there is no dub Viz Media, who most recently did the redub of sailor moon (AND ITS FANTASTIC BTW SO IT GIVES ME HIGH HOPES FOR MATSUS), had sent out a tweet saying that the dub was going to be released some time in October of this year but …nothing happened?? my buddy @arr-jim-lad even contacted them about it, and they responded that there were no updates to mention. ://///SO right now sub is all we got haha

ITS REALLY GOOD THO SO ITS NOT LIKE A NEGATIVE OR ANYTHING BC THESE VOICE ACTORS ARE AMAZINGdef my fave voice actors of any sub ive watched (and ive watched quite a few)

2. How do I know who’s who? I already know some of the easy ones, thanks to you.

one of my fave aspects of this show is that after a few eps, despite them all having the same face, it becomes VERY EASY to tell them apart haha this is part of why the character writing is so strong imo!

but here’s a few tips and tricks to look for just in case you cant tell right away!

🌈COLORS!!!🌈

❤️Osomatsu -  the eldest of the sextuplets and the show’s namesake - RED

💙Karamatsu - 2nd eldest - BLUE

💚Choromatsu - 3rd eldest - GREEN

💜Ichimatsu - 4th brother - PURPLE

💛Jyushimatsu - 5th brother - YELLOW

💖Todomatsu - 6th and youngest brother - PINK

the easiest thing to get the hang of first when it comes to noticing the matsus is def their designated colors! Even when theyre not in their trademark hoodies they can usually be seen wearing their colors somewhere on themselves so if you cant tell who’s who right away LOOK FOR THE COLORS!!

if theyre all wearing matching outfits you can look at their hair shinies bc they’ll usually be their color when nothing else is! (tho those are a bit more subtle in coloring bc ..well..shinies haha)

😄EXPRESSIONS and QUIRKS😎

each of the bros has a standard neutral expression, and some of them have fun quirks that make it very easy to tell who’s who! lets start backwards this time \(ouo)/ (mostly bc from the start the youngest bros are def easiest to recognize…besides karamatsu ofc)

this got quite long so check under the cut for all the bro details and fun collages i made for each bro bc i love this show too much! \(>u

💖Todomatsu (pinky boi)💖

he’s the designated “cute” boy, and the worst/best self-centered millennial stereotype. actually a total mean girl in disguise, and (according to his bros) a “vile monster”. i love him and he’s a cute demon. not the worst bro but pretty darn close.

neutral expression: :3voice: highest pitch of the bros and often whiny quirks: - can usually be seen w his smartphone - acts the most feminine (covers his chest if naked or topless)- always has eye shinies - two hairs sticking out on the top of his head - calls all his bros “niisan” since he’s the youngest

next up MY BOOOYYYYY

💛Jyushimatsu (YELLOW SUNSHINE LIGHT OF MY LIFE)💛

the hyper-active, forever smiling, incredibly powerful, baseball boy! if something weird and crazy is going on jyushimatsu is either directly involved or about to be. he’s always laughing, smiling and making weird jokes/noises. a very sweet boy who is entirely too powerful. He often dresses as animals, and is used as an “attack dog” to torture whichever brother he’s commanded to (usually oso). A very unpredictable boy to say the least. Its hard to imagine an ooc version of him bc there isnt much he would not do or say.HE IS MY FAVE BEST SUNSHINE BOY

neutral expression: 8Dvoice: lowest pitch of the bros but also the loudest, often making weird/nonsensical sounds/noises such as: BBBBOEHBA!! 8Dquirks: - often goes cross eyed - is incredibly strong, can lift and throw his adult brothers like nbd - never has eye shinies in the anime unless he’s about to cry - wears shorts when everyone else is wearing pants, also some times wears a traffic cone on his head- wiggly arms and sleeves too long (even when its not the hoodie, usually his sleeves are always too long haha)- only one hair sticking out on the top of his head

((MANY THANKS TO @arr-jim-lad​ FOR THE TILTED PIC IDEA ITS ADORABLE))

next up my second fave, NEKOMATSU

💜Ichimatsu (purple cat man)💜

the designated darkmatsu, ichi is the slow moving, constantly slouching, quietest boy who thinks cats are way better than people. the least motivated matsu, even going out to do fun things (like drinking or gambling) is some times too much trouble. for him a good time is laying on the floor and thinking about death (and also cats). a fan of torture, if the situation calls for causing trauma he’s suddenly very talkative and plays w his voice a lot. he is the second brother (after my boy jyushi) that is often called upon when one of the other brothers (or anyone) needs to be tortured. i love this boy and he is good to my fave boy god bless suujimatsu

neutral expression: B(voice: usually very low, slow and monotone quirks: - eyes always half lidded, no shinies - always slouched- messy hair (some times w cat ears)- only bro to wear track pants (w the line on the side)- has a diff cat in his lap almost every ep, but does not actually own one- two hairs sticking out on the top of his head

up next everyone’s fave otaku,

💚Choromatsu (green frog weeb man)💚

the resident brother mom and a total idol otaku, choromatsu isnt concerned w much else besides his idol obsession and proving he’s way more responsible than his brothers. he often walks todomatsu to the bathroom at night and waits for him to finish since youngest bro is scared of the dark (reminder theyre both grown men in their 20′s). he thinks he’s better suited to be the oldest brother and leader rather than osomatsu and even points it out once, with agreements from both todomatsu and ichimatsu.if anything crazy happens choro is the first to scream about it not being ok. he’s got the strongest will of all the brothers and can never be persuaded to change his mind about a situation. he’s not a fighter at all and usually chooses to stay on the sidelines even if he agrees w whatever the bros are fighting about (killing god for instance).he’s under constant stress bc he’s pretending to do his best while his brothers are terrible i love him give this poor green man a vacation

neutral expression: :voice: higher pitched, not as high as todo but still higher among the bros, and usually using it to yell @ brosquirks: - smallest pupils, no shinies (in the anime)- usually has a worried expression- wears plaid a lot- is irritated almost all the time - wont look for a job bc he’s determined to be an idol manager- no hairs sticking out on top of his head

AND NEXT MY THIRD FAVE AND EASILY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MATSU

💙 KARAMATSU 💙

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL MAN, THIS PAINFUL ADONIS OF MATSUS!! IS THAT A GLITTER CROP TOP THAT DOESNT COVER THE CHEST?? IT SURE IS!! ARE THOSE JEAN BOOTY SHORTS?? YOURE DAMN RIGHT THEY ARE!!!

karamatsu is EASILY the most recognizable matsu. w those amazing eyebrows, constant use and abuse of anime eyes, wild variety of glittery, revealing, and leather clothing its no wonder he’s called painful oh my god i love this man DID I MENTION HE SPEAKS RANDOM ENGLISH FOR NO REASON AND ITS GREATalso he’s probably the most caring brother who genuinely wants his brothers to be happy and know theyre loved very much by him ;;

if you cant immediately spot this matsu i dont know what to say to you tbqh

neutral expression: >:Dvoice: he makes his voice deep to sound cool p much all the time but its actually higher pitched than it seems quirks: - wears sunglasses, skulls, a leather jacket, sparkly everything, and p much anything he thinks is “cool”- easily the most expressive matsu just look for those eyebrows haha- puts his finger under his chin a lot - “BURAZAHS” - "heh!”- two hairs sticking out on the top of his head

and now on to the final, the oldest, and arguably the worst matsu

💔Osomatsu💔

THERE HE IS!!!! THE TRASH KING BROTHER!!!!i kid, i kid sort ofimplying that the matsus are not all trash boys is just a joke tbqhfor me osomatsu was absolutely the hardest bro to recognize when i first watched the show, and i think the biggest tip i can give for him is just to look for the red boy scratching under his nose. also the boy who looks like he would buy and sell you. he’s a pretty brilliant con man and a good fighter too, but his laziness outweighs anything that he could possibly achieve in. he’s absolute trash but in a way still lovable?? OH ACTUALLY if youre familiar w the anime Lupin the Third just look for the brother that makes the most Lupin-esque faces he’s got that classic-anime-comedy-male-lead look more than any of the other bros so that might help you recognize him!

could literally be lupin’s little bro haha

neutral expression: its like a stretched version of this :3 w teeth showingvoice: higher pitched, he plays w his voice almost as much as jyushimatsu, very playful and teasing, hardly ever serious sounding quirks: - scratching under his noise- obsessed w money and women (and never has either)- the most addicted to gambling of all the bros (this is sounding less like quirks and more like serious problems omg), favors horse races and pachinko- the “leader”, usually the one telling the others what to do (even if they rarely listen)- calls no one “niisan” since he’s the oldest - two hairs sticking out on top of his head

WOW THIS CAME OUT MUCH LONGER THAN I MEANT IT TO!! if im not careful people might think i love these trash neets or smth oh no

but ye! i hope this helps! or was at least an entertaining read haha❤️💙💚💜💛💖

[aplaceforthesoul]

Anonymous submitted:

Hi 21/f (for tash pls)

I’ve messaged a few times and you guys have always been super helpful and I really appreciate all the help you have given me over the years.

Back in November of 2016 my gf and I broke up, we broke up because she had commitment issues and I was truly devastated. I cried for days and I’ve only just recently been able to get somewhat over her (I fully believe I was/am in love with her). When we broke up she had mentioned that we could always try to date again at some point in the future (as i write this i feel like i talked to you guys about this before so i apologize if you recall any of this and this is just a repeat, but i also have new stuff) and at some point last year i asked her out right if she ever saw us getting back together bc i didnt wanna hold out hope that we’d ever get back together if there wasnt a chance. She told me no she didnt see that happening and again i was truly devastated. Also when we broke up we said we’d still be friends bc we were really really close when we started dating, well thats not really the case? shes honestly been super distant and i know she has a life and it doesnt revolve around me but she tends to not answer me and give me one worded answers. I’ve tried talking to her about it before and voiced my concerns with her and she always just tells me shes super busy and she forgets to answer and i know that really does happen but sometimes it feels like its just all the time. I may just be overreacting to that part but its frustrating that i never seem to get any other answer out of her. Like there will be times that i feel super excited for something and shell just respond with something like “oh cool!” and then i feel dumb for trying to be so excited about it and then we dont talk for hours. the only other issue i have is she started dating someone just a few months after we broke up and didnt tell me which i can undertstand bc she knew how upset i was at our break up but just a month or so ago they broke up and now shes dating someone new again and she still didnt tell me and i dont understand why. i will admit im a little jealous at how shes dating someone new but im also really upset at the fact she didnt tell me about it again. I just miss her a lot and i wanna be her friend and be in her life but it seems like she doesnt want me in hers.

another issue im having is i really feel just alone, like i dont have anyone. i mean theres a couple people at work that i talk to a lot while im at work but we tend to not talk outside of work and ive tried innitiating conversations with them and they fall flat and they dont seem interested. i just feel like i dont have anyone who truly cares about me and ontop of both of these issues i feel like a complete failure. im not going to school and my mom has kinda been on my butt about it lately and ive been passed up 4 times for a promotion and everyone around me is trying to figure out why and even i cant figure out why. and my general manger wont tell me why he wont promote me and i just feel like a giant failure and that im not good enough for anything.

this was a fairly long submission and im sorry. thank u for taking the time to respond tho

it sounds a little like your ex girlfriend said to continue staying friend because she didn’t want to hurt you ): unfortunately though most break-ups aren’t mutual, and staying friends with an ex partner doesn’t work. 

all your feelings right now? they’re 100% valid!! like I’d feel shitty and upset if someone I thought wanted me in their life made me feel weird for getting excited over something, I’d feel upset if someone I thought wanted to be friends with me just wasn’t making any effort to show they cared. 

this isn’t going to be easy to read? but I feel like your ex said she wanted to be friends after the breakup because she didn’t want to hurt you (and not because she genuinely wanted to be friends), she’s now changed her mind and doesn’t know how to say that now. actions speak louder than words! ): and none of her actions show love or care or a desire to have you in her life. 

this isn’t a criticism at all, just an observation? but you talked about being lonely and feeling isolated and like a failure, it might be making you a little more sensitive to your ex girlfriend’s actions than you normally would be. like -- you feel lonely, you miss your ex, she acts in a way that makes you feel even more isolated and alone, it intensifies your desire to hang onto the ex and the negative cycle continues. 

my best advice? ditch the ex, let her go. I don’t think she’s deliberately trying to hurt you or be mean? but right now it’s not a healthy friendship to have. make it a goal to spread out your friendship groups a bit, make the most of opportunities to meet new people where you can. maybe use tinder to go on a few fun dates haha, download the hey!vina app if you want, maybe check out meetup.com and see if you can find a group of like-minded people? there’s an app that I use in london called fever that lets you know all about events and activities happening in your local area?! it works in a few other major international cities too -- if you don’t live in those cities then it might not be super helpful haha, but maybe your city has something similar? there’s also an app called ‘Wingit’ which operates in london, cities around europe and the US, it’s an app like fever but could be more useful if fever doesn’t work in your city? worth asking around! anything to get you mixing with new people while doing something fun at the same time (:

you’re not a complete failure, at all. promise <3 if you’ve directly asked your general manger about not being promoted and he won’t explain why? then maybe it’s time to look for a new job (: there’s not much point in staying in a workplace where you don’t feel valued or respected as a member of staff.

things aren’t going to magically improve overnight? but ditch the ex, work on branching out and meeting new people and making some new friends, make time for self care and looking after you. try to get straight direct answers from your manager about not being promoted, see what he says, ask what you can work on to improve, look at finding a new job if you just don’t feel valued or appreciated at work. good luck xxxx

- tash

[sodap0prox]

It’s really hard to tell exactly where we went wrong..

we had a lot of amazing days, and some bad ones. That’s the point of it all, isn’t it? Balance.

You balanced me out, I never thought I could be so close with another human being.. With you, it was like hanging out with myself but even better. I think about you a lot more now than when we first split.. but if we’re being completely honest.. i pushed you to the very back of my head when I broke up with you. I couldn’t worry about you anymore, i needed to think about me first.. I’m so sorry i left you, i can’t fully imagine exactly how you felt, but i’ve had my ideas. But can we take a moment to credit all the things i did do? Like make sure you ate, helped you find jobs, i’ve even took you in before.. so for you to call me the word “selfish” when i finally think about me, it shows me exactly why i should think about myself EVEN MORE SO. If you can’t support my growth(whatever process i chose to grow), you don’t deserve the end result. i’m trying to be the best me, and if you bring out the opposite, then i have to step away. i will not be allowing any negativity into my life from this point on, bc my brain can be soo weak that i’ll slip right into that negative lifestyle again. and i can’t allow that.

I’m sorry the month after our split the times you tried calling me, I really wasn’t ready. my anxiety was out the ROOF every time i saw your name pop up on my phone, or if you simply texted asking me to talk or call you.. i know you had/have a million questions. i only have one answer for all of them, i’ve already told you before.. it’s like you were waiting for me to change it. I’m firm when I need space. Besides, how is someone going to claim they want one thing and then give into the complete opposite bc of their partner? that’s not how a relationship goes. It’s 50/50. and if one person doesn’t want to be there, there should be no forcing of any kind. It’s okay to fight for someone, but begging someone to stay is toxic and it was really changing me as a person. again, I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever made you feel; I wish there was a way I could make the situation better. I’ve said that since the day we split.. but i’m not God. I can’t make miracles happen, and if i’m the one who hurt you i can’t help or fix anything..

you can’t depend on other for your happiness and that’s something i learned from this relationship. we were so codependent at one point, and we got way too comfortable.

i cant lie to you, you were my first true love and i have flashbacks of you at the worst times where i just wanna break down and cry man.. but what is that going to do for me. it doesn’t change a thing and it doesn’t make either of us want either more.

i miss you, but i will not allow myself to talk to you. you are doing really good without me, i can’t fuck up what you have going on. i wish you THE BEST. I miss you.. good luck and goodbye..

AGAIN. I’m sorry i broke your heart. i’m sorry you’ve broke mine too. i wish we were better for each other i really do. it wasn’t the right time i guess. i’m not sure how the universe works, but i do know it’s all just pure energy and if i stay positive and think positive, that positive will come my way. I pray about you. I don’t want to think bad of you, or us bc i don’t want any sour feelings in my heart.. So if you ever do call me, or message me. I’m ready. i’m finally ready, i can handle whatever you throw my way. i’m stronger now. but you never have to speak to me again if you don’t want to.

whatever happens, happens. please stay positive and have a good life.

sorry for this very long Text. it’s implied to One person specifically.

[masterserris]

the rise of skywalker = good

spoilers under cut you were warned

we love sheev the movie

best movie? no. room for improvement? yes. a really good movie overall and the characters were good and made overall good/decently logical choices? absolutely.

 fin good. i love him. and the obvious hint he can use the force is 10/10 he did so much work in this movie. i like poe/fin or rey/fin. or all three together, fuck it, they all hugged in the end anyways

poe is good he’s a good boy him and finn are so good. poe gets a lot of development and care and we love that he struggles but loves his friends and wins in the end by believing in others to come. (he did think they lost but only for a second. he was proven right that people would come. thanks lando we appreciate you here.)

rey is amazing and her growth/struggle is great i love that she’s a palpatine that’s so metal. and she stays good oough yess. palpatine wins in the end? or at least A palpatine? the only survivor? no more sith OR jedi. just. rey palpatine and any other new force users like fin. FINALLLY, evil wins! kinda lmao hahhaahhaha

i like how technically the series stared with palpatine and ended with rey. 

it started with a slave child in the desert (anakin) who became dark, and ended with a child soldier in the dark who became light at the end (ben)

-

the sheev-ening. we love emperor step peppers. he’s so good in this. force storm ya’ll!! 

“hiS pLaN MakEs nO sEnSe!!1!”

shut tf up. either he possesses rey once she killed him, or he sucks the life outta her and restores himself once he found out about that bond power with ben or force healing whatever it was if she refused (like he did), or just kills her and sends his troops out to take everything over like. that’s not a bad plan bro. he wins either way. the only reason he lost is because the dummy killed himself with his own force lighting (AGAIN, DIDNT YOU LEARN FROM EPISODE 3 OLD MAN????). she did not strike him down, she defended. he killed himself, technically. she pulled a luke in that sense. it was not the jedi way. (though i guess by the end she is neither sith nor jedi)

plus he made an armada in secret the man was geared for success and had access to cloning tech too, as shown by snoke. if he couldnt have rey, he would have cloned himself or some shit. he has space voodoo, the man is scary and i love him for it. 

-

ben was. ok. kylo was much more intimidating and straight forward with his actions at least. and ben switching sides made sense. what i didnt like was his ending very much. why tf did he and rey kiss????? they were enemies for 2 and 3/4 movies. they didnt even speak until he showed up to help fight palpatine. 

there is a bit of tension but not romantic whatever, he just poofed once he resurrected rey anyways. rip all skywalkers 2019

she is an adopted skywalker and that’s nice.

side tangent bc i’ve been seeing some fans crying over ben’s death, which i get it if you are a big fan of him:

((i guess i was just way more invested into rey as a character than ben solo. he was. there. he was alright, i could see the struggle but the tone-shift from TLJ really threw things wack and i just ended up not caring too much when he died unforntuately. i wish i did more. i mean it was sad, it would have been neat if he lived, but i kinda saw it coming as soon as rey “died”

im like, oh, he’s gonna climb up bc of course he’s fine and then save her since he saw her use force healing, so he’s gonna try it. he’s resurrecting the dead so it’s either gonna kill him or really make him weak. we got the former so. yeah. it was anticipated kinda. leia dying was much more emotional for me i guess. the love between her and her son was way more impactful than ben and rey. 

like i said!! they were enemies for so long!! he tried to reach out, but he was a slimey dark side bitch who was trying to convert her and she knew it and wasnt down with that shit!! that aint romantic ya’ll!! christ! he was only good for 20 minutes before he died and they didnt even talk before he just showed up! if they had more time really getting into it and if he was good and reached out to her to talk, that would have been way better and more convincing is all im saying. 

sure they fought together on snoke’s ship and talked, but it was still very. scary for rey. and then he attacked her friends and rebellion again! bitch, why did she kiss him!?

nothing against reylo shippers, i really dont care, that’s your business, i personally enjoy fin/rey much more, im just saying it seems forced in this situation. they tried to kill each other so many times. that’s animosity, not love.))

WHERE WAS ANAKIN AND OBI FORCE GHOST UGH. at least we got all of the voices of the jedi past helping rey in the climax that was awesome (including jin, obi, yoda, anakin, luke, leia, ect)

yeah also rip leia. she should have died in the second movie but she was good in this and it really hit the feels since carrie is... dead for real.

luke was good in this!!!! helpful boy!!! nice boy!!! i liked the flash back to when he trained leia it was so sweet to see them young again, if only for a moment.

the han solo scene was good ough my heart. 

all of the character’s choices were overall good and made sense in the scheme of things, everything was streamlined bc it had to be.

it kinda felt like 2 movies crammed into 1 but it kinda worked and that makes sense bc of TLJ’s.... choices and changes in direction. 

i dont think this movie was a train wreck. it’d place it as my 3rd fav star wars movie. for now, i may shift things around but you get the idea.

my current rankings so far for main line live action sw movies 

(rogue one would be at 4 along with revenge of the sith and i didnt care enough to see solo.)

1. empire strikes back (obvious pick)

2. a new hope (luke is best boy)

3. rise of skywalker (as listed above)

4. revenge of the sith (clone wars show really got me to like older anakin. and obi is just. 10/10 in general. speaking of generals, i love grievous. and commander rex. rip all clones and jedi tho. F)

5/6. return of the jedi/force awakens (about even) 

[the thing about return of the jedi is that the ending whole section with the death star and vader and palpatine and the struggle against jabba were really good! it just a lot of other stuff is... meh in the film]

7. the last jedi (sorry had to do it to ya. also rip Phasma)

8/9. phantom menace/attack of the clones (ya’ll know why)

im so glad im rewatching the clone wars show it was so good and oughghghg so good. i love the clones so damn much and everyone so much

star wars good ya’ll

anyways, i already loved palpatine and im just wildin’ right now we love a emperor. a queen. a bad bitch you cant kill. just vibin. like damn, iconic. he said “do it” and everything. a meme legend and godsend

in sheev we trust. you belong with sheev. real sheev hours. the sheev-ening. palpatine-ception. you name it, we vibe with it

NOW I WANT A NICE AU WHERE THE CHARACTERS LIVE AND PALPATINE IS JUST A GRANDDAD. scary but nice granddad to rey or some shit. anakin is still around, they are all still around. just silly fun alright?

LMFAO ROTTEN TOMATOES PUTS IT AT A 56% BUT HAS AN AUDIENCE RATHING OF 86% WTF LMFAOOOO THESE PEOPLE ARE HACKS

the reverse of TLJ and i can see why the stupid irony lmFAO

the “thank you rian johnson” tag trending on twitter is wack and it’s dumb. his movie was dumb ya’ll. that’s my take and im not alone. im not some crazy hardcore fan either nor do i care that much about the politics or what ever. the characters in TLJ made REALLY dumb decisions that got their butts kicked and people killed over and over and it was not fun to watch everyone being dumb and dying, alright? wack. bad vibes. 

i didn’t care for the “thank you jj abrams” tag either bc both tags ended up just being one taking pot-shots at the other and it was full of nasty vibes. just a lot of negative bullshit and only a few good comments just saying what they liked about those movies. i appreciate when people just say they like something. even if it’s something i PERSONALLY dont like, it’s neat to see. but when people bitch and moan, even if i agree personally, it isnt that fun. it’s annoying as hell, esp if it’s mostly unfounded or just repeated a million times.

like months later, or also about something from years ago, people still havent shut up about it. that’s when i get pissed off. like, sure, hate something. say you hate it, whatever. your blog your platform, go off queen, but then shut up please and dont drag it out forever. people dont like negativity so expect people to leave your ass behind if you keep at it. or get blocked or whatever. 

negative shit all the time just aint a good look is all im saying. just love what you love and show it. it’s nice. the good part about fandoms is sharing love for media.

but hey, it’s your life. you do whatever, who am i to say anything?