#and before anyone says they science based

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Okay but like, is there any actual reasoning for Luke joining UNIT really beyond being Sarah Jane's son and being into science and dealing with aliens???? Because those are just either relations or things he does, his character is ignored though and that character in show anyway, wasn't shown to be into UNIT or at the very least, aware of how shit they can be from Sarah Jane.

[antimisinfo]

Endos / endogenics and why they aren't valid :

We've made posts on this before but we decided it might be good to make one big post to link to for when / if anyone asks again. We tried to cover everything we could in this post but we'll likely be making other posts similar to this later on.

So what are endos? Endos or endogenics are people who claim to have DID/OSDD without trauma or claim to have alters / be a system without having DID/OSDD.

Why is this bad? This is misinformation because as far as science knows DID/OSDD is a trauma based disorder (specifically caused by trauma in early childhood, which is speculated to be 1-9 / 1-12 years old) and your brain would not split / create alters without reason. You cannot have alters without having a disorder, this is common sense as it's not normal to have alters. To add onto this endos also take over our communities and steal our terms. (We'll make a post with further information on that in the future).

There is also a carrd that explains why endos are bad and debunks a few myths if anyone is interested in it! If not continue reading

Why can't you have DID/OSDD or alters without trauma? As far as science knows DID/OSDD is a trauma disorder and in order to have alters in the first place you require dissociation, which is also a trauma ((or stress)) response. Here are tons of medically reviewed sources that say this:

“ They suggest that DID is caused by experiencing severe trauma over a long time in childhood. By experiencing trauma in childhood, you take on different identities and behaviours to protect yourself. As you grow up these behaviours become more fully formed until it looks like you have different identities ” — rethink.org

“ Dissociative identity disorder (DID), previously known as multiple personality disorder, is a complex psychological condition caused by many things. These include severe trauma during early childhood (usually extreme, repetitive physical, sexual, or emotional abuse). It's also known as split personality disorder. ” — webMD

“ DID is usually associated with adverse experiences in someone’s past and traumatic memories. ” & “ Dissociation — a major part of DID — is a defense mechanism the body uses to reduce your awareness during overwhelming trauma ” — pysch central

“ DID is associated with long-term exposure to trauma, often chronic traumatic experiences during early childhood. ” & “ Dissociation—or disconnection from one’s sense of self or environment—can be a response to trauma. It can happen during a single-incident, traumatic event (e.g., an assault, a natural disaster, or a motor vehicle accident), or during ongoing trauma (e.g., wartime; chronic childhood abuse). ” — mcleanhospital.org

“ Dissociative disorders often develop as a way to deal with a catastrophic event or with long-term stress, abuse or trauma. This is particularly true if such events take place early in childhood. At this time of life, there are limitations to your ability to fully understand what’s happening. In addition, your coping mechanisms aren’t fully developed and getting support and resources depends on the presence of caring and knowledgeable adults. ” — my.clevelandclinic.org

“ There are many possible causes of dissociative disorders, including previous traumatic experience. ” & “ Switching off from reality is a normal defence mechanism that helps the person cope during a traumatic time. ” — nhs.uk

“ Dissociative identity disorder is the result of a natural way of coping with childhood trauma. Our page on the causes of dissociative disorders has more information. ” & “ Dissociation is a natural response to trauma while it's happening. But some of us may still experience dissociation long after the traumatic event has finished. Past experiences of dissociation during traumatic events may mean that you haven't processed these experiences fully. ” — mind.org (two links since they're two different pages)

“ Dissociative disorders usually start as a way to cope with shocking, distressing or painful events. The disorders most often form in children who go through long-term physical, sexual or emotional abuse. Less often, the disorders form in children who've lived in a home where they went through frightening times or they never knew what to expect. The stress of war or natural disasters also can bring on dissociative disorders. When you go through an event that's too much to handle emotionally, you may feel like you're stepping outside of yourself and seeing the event as if it's happening to another person. Mentally escaping in this way may help you get through a shocking, distressing or painful time. ” — mayoclinic.org

Most of these sources are pretty recent too, with the most recent one being made in September 2023 (webMD)

What about religious beliefs / tuplamacy? First people are not required to believe or participate in your religious beliefs (and religious beliefs are not exempt from criticism) and second tuplamacy is a closed Buddhist practice that has nothing to do with being a system and should not be compared to being a system nor should it be included / involved in system communities. Note that the DSM-V also says that in order to have DID; "The disturbance is not a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice." <- this does not mean it's possible to have alters due to a religious thing, if anything it says they cannot be counted as alters / as a system.

To add on, no you cannot pray to be a system or transition into being a system. If you were to pray and one day magically become a system you are either in denial or you've convinced yourself you're something you're not. Believing you can be a system without trauma or that you can become a system by praying is like believing you can get autism from vaccines or drinking too much dairy milk, that's just not how it works.

What about mixed origin systems? Mixed origin systems are not a thing. DID/OSDD forms purely from trauma, you can't form from a mix of trauma and not trauma, that's not how it works. If you identify as mixed origin you are likely in denial and really need to come to terms with the fact that you are either traumatized or you're not a system at all.

What about other kinds of origins? Other origins like "willowgenic" and all that bullshit? Yeah no, same thing as endos, not possible. Look above for all the proof you need, DID/OSDD is only caused by trauma. Traumagenic is the only valid origin.

But I gave myself DID! / But I created my own alters! No you didn't. That isn't possible, you cannot turn yourself into a DID/OSDD system and creating alters is a coping mechanism, not something you do for fun, sources on this;

“ DID Isn't Something You Can Give Yourself on Purpose. Having DID was not a conscious decision those of us with the disorder made when we were children. Dissociative identity disorder is not a selective disorder, meaning you cannot decide that you want to develop this brilliant coping mechanism and then you have it. ” — healthyplace

“ In any case, additional alters are usually the result of extreme stress. The mind does not like to be fractured even when an individual already has DID or OSDD-1. Many individuals cannot split unless a split is strictly necessary for their protection, functioning, or ability to remain hidden as a system. That said, there are exceptions. Some individuals may become so used to using splitting as a coping mechanism that they may split easily in response to seemingly minor stressors. ” — didresearch.org

Isn't being a system like the same as being trans or being LGBTQ? No, many endos compared the two but they are completely different. Being LGBTQ is an identity, it's something you are born as. Being a system is a debilitating disorder caused by severe trauma, it is counted as a disability which is;

“ 'A person has a disability if: They have a physical or mental impairment, and the impairment has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on the person's ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities.' ” — gmc.org

The reason DID would be counted as a disability is that;

“ Having a dissociative disorder can affect your ability to keep a full-time job, especially one with work stresses, which can worsen your symptoms. ” — disabilitysecrets

And the DSM-V criteria literally says;

“ The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning ” — traumadissociation

But the DSM-V says that trauma isn't required! No, the DSM-V actually says CSA isn't required, there are other forms of trauma that don't involve CSA or child abuse. To act as if it saying that the trauma isn't always CSA or child abuse means that it doesn't require trauma at all is extremely invalidating to those who are traumatized in ways that don't involve child abuse or CSA.

But this source claims endos exist / DID doesn't require trauma! Most of those sources are extremely old and / or made by endos (or pro endos) themselves. (We'll make a more in-depth post on this topic some other time, but for now this is all we have to say on it)

But we don't know everything about the human brain! You're right, we don't. The brain is mysterious, but we do know enough to know that it doesn't do these kinds of things for no reason. We know the brain reacts to trauma and we know what the difference between a normal brain and a disordered brain is. Just because we don't know everything doesn't give people an excuse to jump to conclusions and spread misinformation. It is better to stick to what science currently knows which is the theory of structural dissociation, which is the current theory about how DID/OSDD forms, and so far no one has been able to disprove it. And before someone says it, no it is not only a theory, it is a scientific theory which is;

“ A theory is a well-substantiated explanation of an aspect of the natural world that can incorporate laws, hypotheses and facts. The theory of gravitation, for instance, explains why apples fall from trees and astronauts float in space. Similarly, the theory of evolution explains why so many plants and animals—some very similar and some very different—exist on Earth now and in the past, as revealed by the fossil record. ” — amnh.org

And to add on;

“ Scientists develop theories to explain the natural world and to advance scientific knowledge. A theory is the highest level of explanation in science. Some features of scientific theories are that they: have been thoroughly tested over an extended period, provide accurate explanations and, predictions for a wide range of phenomena, are widely accepted by the scientific community, demonstrate strong experimental and observational support ” — study.com

[cryptidghostgirl]

so sorry for this (very) specific request hope it's not ocish

anyways alastor x wife reader who's a virologist / kinda a mad scientist??(girl just wants to start a apocalypse without anyone to bother her)

Like they got married for mutual benefits (whatever benefits he would gain and her having access to money for her wildest dreams) when they were humans (whether he actually loves her or not is up to you lmao)

They both die (I assume that she would die around when he died from her own negligence caused by her 'freedom' to do her work more often without actually worrying about him finding out) and she avoids him like the plague (not that hard to realize this so called radio demon is your 'husband' when you find his secret stash of 'local cuisine' in the fridge)

Then he goes missing and she finally kinda goes out of makeshift hiding, just chilling doing her evil deeds before finding about the Hazbin Hotel from some gossip

Deciding that, while redemption is most likely not gonna happen mostly for the fact she does not care, she joins Charlie's little program. For her own little project (just wants to have a angel test subject, gotta see if they can be a good carrier for her little virus)

The reader doesn't know that Alastor's back (you think she's gonna use vox tech? Or listen to the radio? Girl uses a non vox tech phone and maybe a computer and does her work) so she goes and knocks on the door to the hotel

Thinking that this shit is gonna be easy, after all her husband is gone so she won't be bothered by him. She can focus on her beautiful creations and maybe destory hell and heaven with a apocalypse for some laughs. While also getting access to heaven through Charlie somehow (maybe even Lucifer, girl doesn't know nor care)

Anyways you can just IMAGINE her surprise that right after Charlie greets her (Vaggie ofc suspicious af cause she knows damn well no sinner wants to be redeemed for the most part) then here comes the strawberry pimp coming to say hello

Would he recognize his lovely wife? Maybe

Ofc reader had a plan, and by plan I mean she just says they were married and now acts like their divorced (death do us part and we fuckin dead)

(Just for example, do what you want <3)

Anyways I'm sorry again (can you tell that I've been watching a lot of mlp infection aus :') )

A/N bestie,, i love an overly detailed request. no apologies. i hope i did it justice <3 <3 I have literally been obsessing over the whole 'we're dead. we've been parted.' reader idea. It's so fun. Also I am very sorry it took me so long to get to this. Also, I am not a woman nor am I in STEM (I'm an enby in history) so apologies if science stuff in this is bad. I'm basing the character off of Entrapta (my love) from Nate Stevenson's She-Ra remake.

Till Death Do Us Part (Alastor x Mad Scientist!Reader)

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: Gore. Murder. Bodies. Animal cruelty (not detailed at all just like test subjects and burning ants as a kid). Viruses/plague talk. Just capital d Death all around in this one folks. Suicide and starvation briefly mentioned.

Word Count: 2,584

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List

Y/n hadn't been sad when Alastor died. It didn't really even register on her radar that he was gone until the police showed up at her door. Their marriage was more of an agreement than anything else, a division of labor. Y/n was a talented virologist who came from a rather wealthy family. He got access to her money, using it to start his own radio studio, and Y/n? Well Y/n got a clean up crew.

She had always been fascinated by death. It was a morbid curiosity that had followed her since childhood. The typical 'burning ants with a magnifying glass to mass murderer' pipeline only, murder was not exactly her objective. Since learning of the Black Death in school, she had been fascinated by biological warfare and weaponry. The stories of soldiers throwing infected bodies over the walls of city's to break down their defenses? It was magnificent, masterful, absolutely awe inspiring. Living through the Spanish Flu epidemic in 1918, watching how it tore through her city of New Orleans, only furthered her determination.

As soon as she had had the knowledge base to do so, she began working on bio-weapons on her own. She wanted to create a disease, to devastate the world. She wanted to watch the things around her crumble into ruin and know it was by her hand.

She'd found out about Alastor's hobby by accident. They were friends, of a sort, in that Y/n would show up randomly where ever he was and quiz him about radio waves. He worked at a radio station and she knew that. She had followed him, tracked him down. There was no reasoning behind it save he was the first person she'd really found out about that was involved in the business in New Orleans. She would pick his mind about getting the word out about things, marketing, advertising. She was prepping for the main event, for the day she finally created her magnum opus.

One day, when she had shown up unannounced at his door and broken in when he didn't respond to her knocking, Y/n had discovered him dismembering one of his victims. Alastor had stared at her, wide eyed in shock, fear and adrenaline mixing into an intoxicating combination in his veins. Y/n had just smiled.

She had been wondering about human experimentation for a while now. Animals were easy to cover up, easy to bury in the back yard but people? It had always been too risky, up until now anyways.

So it went like this: Y/n funded Alastor's dreams and he hid the side effects of hers. When he died, Y/n didn't really feel anything too strongly about it at all. Yes, it made life harder in that if she wanted to keep using human guinea pigs she'd have to figure out a way to dispose of them on her own but it also made it easier. Alastor had always been so obsessed with image, dragging her to office parties and forcing her to sit down to meals with him. Now that he was gone, she could work on her projects in peace once again. The body thing was something she would figure out along the way. She was smart and she wasn't going to let something like that stop her, not when she was this close to cracking it.

As it turns out, Alastor had been more of a help than Y/n believed. So used to his nattering and persistence, she had stopped eating. It wasn't long before she joined her husband in death. The papers of course had a field day with it. Heiress and Virologist Y/n L/n Withers Away Due to Heartbreak. Y/n L/n Starved Herself to Death and Joins her Murderer of a Husband. Virologist Commits Suicide After Revelation of Dead Husband's Criminal Deeds.

When Y/n had woken up in Hell, her whole world had been turned upside down. If there was life after death, what was the point of killing everyone on earth? She was back at square one.

Rumors were already buzzing through the streets of Hell about some new overlord, some Radio Demon, who had a strikingly similar MO to her husband. Not wanting any distractions this time around, Y/n secluded herself in the outskirts of the pride ring to reformulate her plans.

For decades she worked, trying to create a poison to wipe out the dual planes of the underworld. Work was easier here. No one questioned why she bought the things she bought, no one got upset when people went missing. Hell, no one even blinked twice if they saw her burying a body. It was a veritable paradise for Y/n.

Eventually, news reached her of the Radio Demon's disappearance. Y/n had never been the biggest fan of technology that wasn't involved in her work. In the world of the living, she had barley read the papers. All the machines in her laboratory were ones she had built herself through trial and error. But still, somehow, the news reached her and she felt elated. The last thing weighing her down, the last road block had officially been lifted.

Within seven years, she had perfected the disease. Having run tests on lower rings of Hell, she prided herself on her ability to make it so infections, so deadly. The survival was on par with that of unvaccinated human's infected by rabies. But her plan wasn't complete, no. Taking out everyone in Hell wasn't good enough, she had to figure out how to get it into Heaven as well.

That was when the perfect opportunity fell in her lap. Y/n nearly cried when she caught sight of the interview through the window of a shop selling Vox branded TVs. Charlie Morningstar, Lucifer's little brat, was creating a hotel for sinners, where they could be rehabilitated and sent to Heaven. It was perfect, almost too perfect. Y/n didn't question it, her own excitement blinding her. She barley even took the time to come up with a plan that consisted of more than get into the hotel and get her hands on an angel. She figured that was something that could be dealt with later on.

After a few days of research and snooping, she finally made her move. Having packed her bags and woven her way through the streets of Pentagram City, she found herself before the brightly lit marquee of the Hazbin Hotel. Placing her bag on the ground beside her, the test tubes and various paraphernalia inside clinked gently against one another. Raising her hand, she knocked on the door.

It was Charlie herself who answered, with wide eyes and an earnest smile. A smaller moth demon beside her crossed her arms, eyeing Y/n with doubt. It barley registered with the excitable demon, she was used to the strange looks. The new form Hell had granted her with when she died was odd, after all. She was still the same height, still held a roughly human shape, but her hair had become its own beast. It moved like secondary limbs, falling nearly to the floor from the pigtails she had tied it up into. It shot up into the air around her in joy at the sight of yet another open door in her path, this one literal rather than figurative.

"Hello!" Charlie exclaimed, "Are you here to check in?"

"Yes, check in." Y/n nodded, using her hair to pick her bag back up.

She took a step forward, trying to enter the hotel, but found her path blocked by the smaller grey demon. Her arms were uncrossed now, one of them pointing a spear right at Y/n's neck. Y/n didn't flinch, she simply looked down at it in curiosity, reaching a finger up to touch the end.

"Ow." she said flatly as the spear's tip pressed into the pad of her finger.

Raising it to her eyes, she rubbed the droplet of blood that had pooled on her pointer finger with her thumb before turning back to the spear.

"Is this..." Y/n leaned forward, grabbing the spear's shaft.

"Hey!" Vaggie yelled threateningly as Y/n crouched down, examining the weapon carefully.

"Oh my stars, this is an angelic blade, isn't it?" she exclaimed, her eyes still fixed on the spear.

"Uh..."

Vaggie was more confused now than anything and she took the slightest step away from the excited demon. Y/n followed her and soon, they were in the entry way to the hotel. Charlie watched the scene play out with mild amusement, finding her girlfriends bewildered state rather charming. She let the door fall shut.

"It is, isn't it?" Y/n asked again, "But how did you get it? Did you make it? What do you do with it? Is it more effective than normal weapons? Why a spear? I-"

"What's this, we have a new guest?" a crackling voice cut Y/n off.

"Uh, yes!" Charlie stepped in, turning to face the newcomer.

Y/n, still preoccupied with the spear, was now engaged in trying to get Vaggie to let her hold it.

"I think..." Charlie doubtfully added, her brow furrowing at the site.

"Well well well, a little devil." Alastor hummed, turning to watch the show as well, "Honestly, reminds me of someone I knew back when I was alive and kicking. Ah well, what's her name?"

"I don't... actually know that yet." Charlie admitted, fiddling with her hands a bit as she spoke, "But she seems really enthusiastic about being here!"

"It seems she more interested in that spear of Vaggie's than the idea of redemption." Alastor noted in response.

"Are either of you going to help me or are you just gonna sit and watch?" Vaggie exclaimed, trying her best to pry the spear out of Y/n's grip.

Alastor sighed and with a twirl of his microphone, a shadow arose, pulling Y/n off Vaggie. There was a split second where the smile on the girl's face fell. It quickly returned as she caught sight of what exactly had interrupted her escapades. Placing her bag on the floor with her hair, she wormed around in the shadow's arms, turning to face it. Tentatively, she poked it.

"Would you stop that?" Alastor asked, his voice thick with irritation.

Y/n poked the shadow again.

"What is this? How are you doing this?"

When no response came from the demon in question, she at last turned to face him.

"Oh."

She stilled in her movements and Alastor allowed the shadow to disappear.

"No reason to be scared." Charlie quickly stepped in, "I know Alastor here has a bit of a... reputation, but he is actually helping us at the hotel. He's really a great once you get to know him."

Alastor's smile widened as he bowed his head slightly in recognition of the praise.

"If you're going to be staying her-"

"You can't seriously be thinking of letting her stay here, Charlie." Vaggie cut in, "She's been here what, five minutes? And all thats come of it is chaos."

"Vaggie, come on, don't be like that." Charlie turned to her girlfriend, "Everyone deserves a second chance, that's the whole reason we built this place."

"But does she even want to be redeemed? I mean, what if she's... I don't know, trying to take us down from the inside out? What if she's a journalist or some shit trying to write us bad reviews?"

"You flatter me." Y/n smiled and Vaggie scoffed.

"See?"

"Isn't that all the more reason to let her in? Vaggie, if she is undercover as a journalist or something, we just have to prove to her how amazing what we're doing here is."

"I don't know... I've never seen her before, what if she's another one Vox sent?"

Y/n shook her head, sticking her tongue out slightly in disgust at this notion and Alastor chuckled. There really was something so familiar about this demon and her antics. Even if she was a tad irritating, it was a comfortable familiarity.

"Then we will figure it out, same way we did with Sir. Pentious. Okay?"

"Fine." Vaggie relented at last with a sigh.

Smiling brightly, Charlie turned back to Y/n.

"So, hi. I'm Charlie, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! What's your name?"

Y/n's eyes flicked back and forth between Alastor and Charlie for a moment before settling on Charlie.

"Y/n L/n."

Alastor let out a little laugh of disbelief, a sound he had meant to keep in. He couldn't help it. Of course this little mess of a demon was his favorite crazy wife. Alastor had looked for Y/n on occasion, always keeping an eye on news involving anything scientific but, he had never found a trace. Not that he'd admit it but, in their time together, he had grown rather fond of the girl. Not love, never love, but a sort of familial feel. Everyone turned to face him.

"Are you alright, Alastor?" Charlie asked, walking over to him and placing a hand on his arm which he quickly brushed off.

"Yeah, do you know her or something?" Vaggie added, "Is she dangerous?"

"No..." he paused, his brow slightly furrowed, "She's my wife."

The room fell silent.

"You... you didn't recognize your own wife?" Vaggie asked in disbeleif.

"Ex-wife." Y/n corrected with a little sigh.

This was all becoming so tedious. She hadn't come here to sit and talk with people. While the spear and the shadow had been fun, they had both run their courses and she just wanted to get to work.

"I..." Alastor turned back to Y/n, "Ex-wife?"

Y/n shrugged.

"So you didn't recognize your wife and you didn't know you were divorced?" Vaggie asked, rubbing her temples, "Jesus fuck, man."

"I..." Alastor cleared his throat, "We were married when we were alive. I didn't even know she was dead yet."

"Yeah." Y/n shrugged, "Turns out all your nattering was what was keeping me alive. I forgot to eat, starved to death."

Alastor's eyes softened slightly for a moment at the notion. She had needed his care so badly that she had died with out it. It felt good, in a strange way. Satisfying. They darkened again as he recalled her earlier statement.

"Ex-wife?" he asked again, taking a step towards Y/n.

She looked up at him, her expression blank.

"Yeah?"

"When did we get a divorce!" Alastor exclaimed once he realized she would say nothing else on the matter without his prompting.

"Oh! We didn't." Y/n nodded, smiling slightly, "Now, can I go to my room?"

"No, Y/n. Why are you calling yourself my ex-wife? We are still married."

Y/n looked around at Charlie and Vaggie, seeing if they were going to back up her claim. Sighing, she turned back to Alastor.

"Do I really have to lay it out for you?" she paused and Alastor just stared at her, eyebrows raised, "Jesus. Uh, Al, we died."

"Yes...?"

"Till death do us part? That was the agreement."

"I... Well..." he was at a complete and total loss for how to respond.

She wasn't wrong, he just didn't like her answer very much.

"So... the agreement is done... yeah?"

"I mean," Alastor shook his head slightly, "I guess?"

"Great! Can someone please show me to my room now."

---

Next Part -> Till Death Do Us Part pt. 2

[ms-demeanor]

Hi! My employer's workplace wellness program was recently revamped, and I'm trying to assess whether it's slid into the nonsense side of wellness-world. Specifically, there's a webinar being offered by a guy named Abra Pappa on using an "anti-inflammatory diet" to "battle against chronic diseases… including heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, and even certain cancers." This sounds… sketchy to me, but I know you have both expertise in nutrition and a strong bullshit detector, so wanted to ask what you make of it.

Okay long story short never trust anyone who got their degree from a university that started off as a school for chiropractors.

Abra Pappa got her MS in Functional Medicine and Human Nutrition after getting a BA in Theater; I checked the requirements for that degree and the school's whole catalogue is throwing red flags but what's throwing the most red flags for me is that if I wanted to get a degree in nutrition from an ACEND accredited program I'd need to take a hell of a lot more than one bio class, one anatomy OR one physiology class, one medical terminology class, one nutrition class, and one biochemistry class in order to get into a master's program.

It's funny because she went from a BA in theater arts to an MS in Functional Nutrition and Human Nutrition and I've been trying to go from a BA in Theater Arts to an MS in nutrition and *aside* from the whole private school costs thing one of the major barriers is that I'd basically need to re-do all of my undergrad to get in a lot of chemistry, some calculus, and MANY nutrition classes before I qualified for a Master's program. But based on the program she took I'm only one medical terminology and one biochemistry class away from a Master's program instead of more like ten to fifteen classes (primarily in nutrition, chemistry, and physiology) away.

Anyway she says she's a Licensed Dietician Nutritionist. There are some states that allow LDN certification, New York is one of those states. *BUT* to be an LDN in New York you have to

Complete a program in dietetics-nutrition that culminates in a bachelor’s degree that qualifies for certification in dietetics-nutrition or has been accredited by the Commission on Accreditation for Dietetics Education (CADE).[Note: CADE is now ACEND] The program must include at least 45 semester hours of coursework in dietetics/nutrition and must include at least 20 semester hours of coursework in the area of human biological sciences and social and behavioral sciences

Pappa went to the University of Western States in Oregon, and the only ACEND accredited school in Oregon is at OSU, so if she's an LDN it's from someplace that isn't New York, where she lives and works.

She also claims to be a CNS, a Certified Nutrition Specialist, but in order to qualify for THAT you need to have an MS with some pretty rigorous coursework

And this is what the school required for her MS program:

And given that she didn't have a science degree for undergrad it seems pretty likely that she wasn't doing anything close to what an undergrad nutrition program looks like:

For the record, here are the MS requirements for an MS in nutrition with a health and wellness emphasis at that same school:

In order to get accepted to the MS in nutrition program in that school you either need to have a BS in nutrition or a BS in biology or chemistry and take all the undergrad level nutrition requirements ON TOP OF that BS.

I don't think that a theater degree and an MS from a woo-y correspondence school really count, even if you do pay $45k for your diploma.

If you go look at the requirements for any ACEND accredited school and compare them to the MS program from University of Western States it leaves UWS looking pretty shitty in comparison. Like, nowhere in her requirements is there a statistics class! Stats is required even for an associate transfer certificate in nutrition! EVEN AT THE 2-YEAR LEVEL FOR REAL NUTRITION DEGREES YOU HAVE TO DO STATS AND SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE A SINGLE STATS CLASS FOR HER MS. You will note that the cal poly MS program has one entire MS-Level class on vitamin metabolism and one entire MS-Level class on mineral metabolism for any of the three MS in Nutrition emphasis courses; her school required neither.

This shit makes me want to climb the walls.

I'm just going to start calling myself a nutritionist. California will let anyone call themselves a nutritionist, there are absolutely zero protections on that term and I can get myself a piece of paper for like three hundred dollars from a diploma mill that has some kind of bullshit accreditation.

Here are the programmatic accreditations her school has:

Compare with the Cal Poly programmatic accreditations (I cite cal poly a bunch because it was the program I was hoping to get into eventually so I researched it the most; that's where I got my BA, go broncos):

Note that the website for her school is listed with the department of education as wschiro.com because it was called Western States Chiropractic College until 2010.

Every time i dig into something like this it makes me want to stare into space for hours. No wonder college students are getting fucked on their loans and going to bullshit schools. No wonder everything is a scam these days. People bitch about credentialism but you know what maybe this lady is a CNS; sure, for some people that requires passing board certification tests, getting 1000 hours of clinical supervision, and becoming a Nurse Practitioner with real actual nutrition study from a solid program, but for other people it requires zero understanding of statistics, a theater degree, and three *whole* units of anatomy. Maybe she clears the bar on that one! She doesn't have the qualifications for an LDN in New York, she's not an RDN because she sure as fuck didn't take the classes required for a *VERY SERIOUSLY* protected title, but maybe you can be a CNS with an online diploma from the western states chiropractic college.

I fucking hate everything.

You know the whole reason I wanted to get a degree in nutrition was to yell about shit like this online, but fuck it. Fuck it, I'm a nutrition-isht because i live in california and I can say I am and who's going to check? Who's going to look up whether I took classes in public health or anatomy or the metabolism of micronutrients before they hire me to do corporate seminars on healing your relationship to food? I am legally allowed to do that so I might as well, right? If all I have to do is be charismatic and convincing I'm pretty sure I've got that down, actually, so who's going to check?

Nobody! Nobody is going to check and everything is a scam and I hate everything.

ANYWAY

The relationship between nutrition and inflammation and the relationship between chronic disease and inflammation are two different, complicated things that are difficult to point at and say definitively what the connections are.

I am of the opinion that any time you're getting deep into things like an anti-inflammatory, ketogenic, or PH-Balancing diet without a specific condition that calls for the avoidance of certain foods for very clearly scientifically reported reasons, you're dealing with a woo-woo biohacker who's looking to sell a diet plan.

The thing about nutrition science is that it seems like for most people the "answers" are pretty basic: eat enough food, get enough macro and micronutrients, eat a variety of food, avoid processed meats, try to eat more fruits and vegetables, get enough water, and stay as active as possible NOT for weight loss reasons but for metabolic health and joint/muscle maintenance. It's really, really, hard to sell that though, which is how you get people like Abra Pappa in 2013 writing out this bugfuck "Food and mood" handout with a midday snack that is so bonkers in the way the calories are distributed that I'm sitting down and doing math about it (it looks like about a third of the calories that day are supposed to come from the mid afternoon spinach, mint, cocoa nib, and coconut milk smoothie which is, as I said, bugfuck nuts).

It's hard to sell "please eat more fruits and vegetables, which is difficult because actually most places don't grow enough vegetables for the population's nutrition needs and it's cheaper to eat grains and industrially produced meat than it is to eat five cups of vegetables that you need to prepare daily and also maybe skip the bacon" but it's much easier to sell "five anti-inflammatory superfood milkshakes that will fill your belly and fight cancer" because it's packaging nutrition as a product and not as a massive systemic issue that happens to have very specific requirements for a large number of individuals who *do* happen to have disorders that are based on nutrition and inflammation (celiac disease! I've got one of them! Eating the wrong foods definitely causes inflammation in my body as the result of an autoimmune disorder! but that doesn't mean that the things that are inflammatory for me are inflammatory for everyone!)

Anyway I think like about 97% of workplace wellness programs are largely bullshit based, or at least import bullshit a lot of the time, and nutrition is a science that has, just, so much bullshit in and around it.

So I would take anything they say with a grain of salt, and hopefully less than 255% of your RDV of saturated fat (seriously that meal plan is ludicrous).

Side note: there is a subset of nutrition people who looked at the way that we got fat wrong in the 80s and flipped it and reversed it and went "actually you can have as much fat of any kind that you want as long as it is natural and you will have no issues" and this is how you end up with people on 100% natural clean keto diets who have cholesterol levels over 600. Abra Pappa recommends "clean/natural" eating and has taken continuing education on keto and has a recipe for a single-serving smoothie that calls for 8oz of coconut milk I think she's very much in the "'good' fat truther" camp (or at least she was in 2013 which is maybe why New York has a requirement for people to have some kind of nutrition certification for giving out nutrition advice and maybe she should have done that because she didn't even go to her bullshit "grad school" until 2017).

(We DID get fat wrong in the 80s and total avoidance of all fats is bad for you and there are 'good' fats that you should eat and everybody needs to eat some level of fat for proper nutrient absorption but even if you're only getting fat from nuts and avocados that's not going to prevent your arteries from forming plaques if you're having nearly triple the recommended daily value of saturated fat as part of your afternoon snack)

[belovedyandere]

pls you have to understand goth male reader and yandere jock pls pls

cw. established relationship, dubcon, manipulation, sexual themes, stalking, yandere themes

“Black does look good on you, but I think you sitting n’ crying on my cock suits you better.” The raging testosterone jock whispered behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist. Lips to your cheek, exaggerating a long lick from your jaw to the bottom of your eye.

“Fuck off. What did I say about you coming onto me in public.” Pulling yourself from him, with great struggle, you crossed your arms and furrowed your brows in annoyance. “I’ve told you so many fucking times that I don’t want anyone knowing that we’re together. But you, and your horned up brain,” tapping your index finger to the jock’s temple, “never listen.” Sighing with frustration you rubbed your own temple to ease the oncoming headache.

“But we aren’t in public, in fact, it’s the start of a new period and as you can see, ain’t anyone around here.” Looking to where his head directed, he was right. The back of the school was vacant from onlookers. “And don’t act all high n’ mighty in front of me. I can see my favourite little guy down there excited to see me.” Pushing your back against the wall, his knee came in between your thighs and began to rub against you. “I’d like you to be more honest with me, just like how honest my dick is, wanting to be in your hole and filling it up.” You were left rendered speechless. By his words? His knee? The way he towered over you, with his hands resting onto your waist before coming up to meet where your nipples were? You didn’t know but out of instinct to ground yourself, your arms came to wrap around his neck. Not aware of the immense satisfaction the jock was feeling.

You couldn’t blame him if you knew. The way he followed you around like a hungry dog at school when he was the new student. You felt so out of reach yet you were right beside him in science. Weekends weren’t short enough to see you again, so he was glad to have found your hang out spot. Coincidentally bumping into you, though at first you weren’t all too please. Already having an assumption on his character based on who he had hung out with. But he was determined to wear you down, to see you wag your tail when you saw him. Though he wasn’t sure if his patience was strong enough to compete with your stubbornness. He tried everything. Greeting you nicely, wearing bits of black, listening to the bands you liked. Everything. So it surprised him when seeing you witness his disappointment when he lost a game. His head hung low with huge sighs. He didn’t notice you there until you sat beside him, giving him awkward encouraging words. And that’s where he found the perfect bait. He chuckled at your kind words, before frowning at himself. Saying that his dad was there, and he embarrassed him. All lies of course, but you certainly hadn’t known that. You were quick to comfort him, and from there a budding friendship came. But jock wasn’t happy with this friendship, yet it was what he could tolerate for now.

And as time passed, you two came to find that you shared familiar experiences, that’s what you were led to believe at least. It pulled you in, to feel understood and to be looked upon with no judgement. Your heart pulled to him, and his to you. It was obvious the feelings you both shared. Though you hesitated. You were one who appreciated things to be done and said in private. Especially relationships. And here you two were, grinding against each other behind the school, your pants somehow already onto the floor and turned to face the wall. “W-wait not here, someone’s gonna come.”

“Not if you’re quiet.” The palm of his hand coming to close your mouth, the other stretching your hole, fortunately the night before had loosened you enough for him to enter easily. But that didn’t stop you from moaning, your knees halfway already buckling from the rough movements. You weren’t surprised he preferred it rough and animalistic. He pushed you further against the wall, in hopes you wouldn’t fall, but with his quick movements and the way your hole tightened his throbbing cock, you both were quick to climax. One thing the jock knew you couldn’t deny was the sexual chemistry, you were meant for him.

[doobea]

SWEET / I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE - NAGI SEISHIRO

synopsis: Your boyfriend doesn't realize how important little things are to you until it's a bit too late.

contents: established relationship, slight hurt and comfort??, slight jealousy, sfw, nagi struggling trying to process emotional needs of others - what else is new, also nagi centric, college au, mentions of fraternity formals, gn!reader, idk i hc'd nagi to be a compsci major but up to debate ig word count: 1.6K a/n: title is based off of tyler the creators song hehe its my fav from his album and omg thank u nagi for breaking me out of this writer's block, inspired by @celestair for the idea!!

Nagi hadn't really expected you to get so excited about attending his chapter formal. Hell, he didn't even know that they were going to have one in the first place if it weren't for Reo bringing it up in a passing conversation last week in your dorm room.

"We should go!" You said, and he remembers you hopping out of your seat, abandoning your assignment, and dashing immediately towards your closet for an outfit.

"Should we?" Nagi questioned, a frown creeping its way to his lips.

Reo slumped his arm over Nagi's shoulder, tugging the male slightly into his chest. "C'mon, why are you even paying the dues if you don't attend our events?" Reo sounded annoyed.

Nagi shrugged and went back to his phone, resuming the level of whatever popular gacha game that was released for that month. "Because you said it would look good on my resume or something." He answered flatly.

Of course, Nagi knew that he couldn't say no to this. As much as he would love to, once you and Reo were both set on something it's almost impossible to try and coax you two out of it. Nagi is pretty sure that this formal is going to be the bane of his college existence and that his computer science classes are, arguably, now the easiest part.

"It's too loud in here." Nagi wanted to go home the moment he stepped out of his best friend's rented limo. He feels too stiff with the suit he's currently wearing, the cologne is starting to overwhelm his senses, and he really didn't like the fact there's already a fuckton of people inside the venue.

Everything feels too congested.

The three of you take a seat at a table shared by Nagi's other 'brothers' and their dates. He really doesn't remember anyone's faces aside from maybe one or two from his classes, so he's confused when a handful of them start greeting him with fist bumps. All of which he awkwardly returns. Something about long-living brotherhood? Nagi didn't quite catch what they said.

"Do you guys want anything to drink?" Reo shouts over the music as he starts to get up.

"A cranberry vodka would be nice." You gently tug on Nagi's sleeve, attempting to break his unyielding attention from his phone. Reo had set a rule before they left, and it's a mobile game and social media app ban at the table. So, naturally, Nagi is stuck analyzing the weather app. "Do you want anything, Sei?"

Looks like tomorrow there's going to be a slight chance of rain which is pretty awesome, he thinks.

"Hm? Oh, whatever you're having, I guess."

Nagi misses the way your smile fades. "Um, make that two cranberry vodkas?"

"Ah," Reo stumbles around with his words for a bit before nodding away. "Sure, be back in a minute."

"Sei," Your voice is closer this time, lips almost pressed up to his ears to minimize the booming music in the background. "Wanna go on the dance floor later?"

Nagi pauses his thumb, hovering over a random European map, and he's already internally shrinking from the idea. "Do I have to?"

You laugh, it sounds a little forced. "Only if you're up for it."

He shrugs and eyes the surrounding area. The dance floor looks semi-packed at the moment and everyone looks equally semi-buzzed. Sitting at the table sounds better in his head. "I think I'll stay here but you can go on ahead."

"Oh," You exhale through your nose and laugh again. "Okay, if that's what you want!"

"Mhm," He hums back and settles his head down at the table, feeling almost exhausted despite not having to do much today.

Nagi doesn't notice that he's alone at the table until the DJ starts signaling everyone in the venue to pay attention to a couple on the dance floor. He only looks up when he hears Reo's name getting called out and starts to straighten his back when he sees you dancing hand in hand with him. The sight leaves Nagi gnawing the insides of his cheeks.

"Hey," Nagi turns to see two of his fraternity brothers looking at him with a bit of concern and he's not sure why that's making him feel uneasy.

"You good there?" Isagi asks, careful to sound casual, but Nagi picks up on it.

"What?" Nagi frowns, connecting the dots together. "It's fine. I don't really care about them doing stuff together anyway." It's a vague statement. Maybe purposefully vague.

"Eh? You sure about that, Nagi?" Bachira presses.

Nagi frowns again, tips his head down, and is in deep thought. "I'm actually not sure." He finally admits. Nagi is currently fighting off a weird feeling in his stomach. Maybe it's just the drink he had earlier.

He's always been fine with Reo keeping you company whenever he isn't in the mood. Whether it be eating with you in the dining halls, attending movies together, going to the mall, and so forth. Dancing isn't off the list either. He's seen the two of you dance before but isn't sure why this is setting him off. Maybe it's the thought of you being happier without him in your life that is eating him away.

"Shit, he's walking over."

"Waah, let's go!"

It doesn't occur to Nagi that Reo's in front of him until his best friend clears his throat. Reo puts a hand on Nagi's shoulder and gives him one of those looks. A look that insinuates something big that he can't place a finger on but knows it's full of negative nuance.

"Don't be an ass right now," is all that Reo says.

"An ass?" Nagi echoes.

He allows Reo to tug him out of his seat and Nagi almost feels lethargic from how long he's been sitting down. A final push towards the edge of the dance floor is when he catches your sullen figure.

"I'm surprised that you haven't caught on," Reo continues after a while. Nagi recognizes the tone. He doesn't say anything more, and Nagi appreciates it that much, at least.

It's funny how much his mood is able to shift. First from feeling annoyed, to borderline sleepy, to determined. Nagi thinks he's finally learning how to read his relationship with you.

It's only when he's inches apart that he realizes that you're on the verge of tears. Nagi instinctively reaches out his hands and softly cups your cheeks, rubbing his thumbs across in his attempt to calm you.

What's wrong, he wants to ask but he already knows the answer to that. He feels bad for complaining all week, but he feels even worse for essentially abandoning your needs for god knows how long.

Nagi chews on his lips as a new idea starts to brew. It's an uncharacteristic idea. An idea that pushes him to become a new version of himself—the person he wants to be but struggling to understand.

"Hey," Nagi calls out your name slowly. "Can I dance with you?" You open your mouth—probably to say it's okay and you'd rather not make him uncomfortable—but Nagi continues before you can get a word in, before your tears start falling. "I'm sorry, I should've paid closer attention." He says in a whisper.

You fall silent and Nagi is wondering if he's said something he shouldn't have. He quietly peers over at Reo who's aggressively nodding his head, throwing a thumbs up across the room. You shift awkwardly in place before giving Nagi a faint smile.

"I would like that," You sound a little hesitant, but surprisingly welcoming to the suggestion. "I mean, if you're okay with it?"

"Don't worry about what I think, you've done plenty for me already." And he means it.

Nagi migrates his hands from your face to your waist as the music shifts to something slower, more tender, and sweet. It's obvious to everyone in the room that you two are a little nervous and it's almost laughable. He's been dating you just shy of a year and has never once offered to dance with you. It comes as no shock to him that you're growing shy under his touch and movements, despite being together countless times. This feels different to Nagi, and he's positive you're thinking the same thing.

It takes a while, maybe because you're both getting used to this foreign feeling, but you eventually wrap your arms around his neck and hug closer to his body. Somehow, that short circuits Nagi's brain and he freezes in place.

"Sei, is everything alright?"

There's a wave of guilt that washes over his eyes. This act is weighing Nagi down, more than he wants to admit, and he has to pull away. Eyes glued to the ground because if he looks at you he'll start to feel nervous, confused, and small.

"Sorry, I'm... trying my best."

"Sei, it's okay." It's your turn to rub your hands across his cheeks and he doesn't realize that he's flushed in the face until you comment. "You're warm."

"Sorry," He doesn't know why he's apologizing again. For being flustered? Not knowing how to dance? Or afraid of disappointing you again? He thinks it's a mixture of all three.

"Hey, as long as you're trying then I'm proud of you." You reply with ease.

You're always kind to him. Most times, you don't push him more than what he's willing to give and maybe that's why he's comfortable around you. Even if he does know you're silently judging his actions but it's okay, because it's you. But he also knows that he's been taking advantage of this trait and it sucks having to find this out tonight.

Nagi nods. You're right, he doesn't need to worry about anything else but you in this moment.

[avelera]

Thinking about blasphemy and Good Omens right now and I can't help but notice an interesting phenomenon around some discussions I've seen about the Second Coming and Jesus Christ being a character in S3.

Namely, I see much more underlying discomfort around the possibility of the show poking fun at the figure of Jesus Christ than I do with any other prediction discussion or discussion around religion in the show.

On the one hand, I completely understand how poking fun at the Antichrist dogma from Revelations doesn't feel particularly blasphemous, where poking fun at Jesus does. The Antichrist is a stock character of horror at this point. Many more disrespectful teams than Gaiman and Pratchett have played with that story. It's barely even considered poking fun at Christianity to have Adam, the son of Satan, be a good kid in Good Omens. But Jesus is a very important figure to Christians all over the world. There are devout Christians who truly love Jesus and no one wants to be a jerk by just outright disrespecting a figure that is dear to so many.

But on the other hand, expecting Good Omens to not make fun of Jesus is a bit absurd to me. Literally saying, "I don't think the satirical religion show is going to satirize religion because it might upset people." Gaiman hasn't shied away from messing with religion or religious bigots before. He gleefully shrugged off attacks over God being a woman, or Adam and Eve being portrayed by people of color.

The Book of Job is lampooned in Season 2. I know it doesn't feel like it to many people here, but the reinterpretation of the Book of Job in S2 definitely registers as blasphemy on some religious scales. It is satirizing a religious text after all.

Saying that angels and demons fall in love and worse, have that love be portrayed by actors of the same sex could be seen as blasphemy at the very least on the level of saying God is a woman. And by the way, it's not like these religious texts say "God is whatever you want the entity to be" or "God is a woman if that makes you happy". Hell no, the Bible is extremely damn clear on God being male. The official position of the Catholic Church is that God is male. Official Catholic dogma is incredibly anti-female in terms of inherent holiness, women cannot become priests, even nuns are dependent on a priest to deliver the Sacraments, it's a huge deal and they are not planning to change any time soon and it is totally unambiguous.

Making God explicitly female might not seem like a big deal since films like Dogma, another religious satire, did it in the 90s but to True Believes in the official doctrine, that is a form of blasphemy.

Good Omens is by definition a blasphemous work. How offensively blasphemous it is really depends on the devoutness of the viewer. And I find it interesting the extent to which there's something of a knee jerk, "Oh they won't do that!" in terms of further satirizing religion in the show about religious satire. As if Jesus hasn't been satirized in other mainstream movies before like the aforementioned Dogma or Life of Brian.

And here's the thing, my personal opinion is? Blasphemy is good! Blasphemy laws on the books mean it's ok to punish, hurt, or even kill a person for making fun of religion or just doing the religion wrong. Human progress has been frozen in place by blasphemy laws, sciences have progressed when blasphemy laws ease or often while deliberately concealing their efforts from authorities in places where blasphemy laws or laws that were otherwise based on the dominant religion exist.

If anything, I am actually a bit uncomfortable with the idea that Good Omens should hold back on lampooning a figure like Jesus Christ. If devout Christians will make laws that determine what other humans can do with their bodies based on their religion, then their religion should absolutely be open to outright mockery without punishment or ramification to anyone. Of course on an individual level I wouldn't wish to be offensive to someone sincerely religious but at the same time, I am also violently anti-censorship of any kind. And blasphemy and religious mockery are often right at the heart of censorship debates.

The world is a better place when we can openly mock religion.

I'm not going to caveat that as an opinion. Being able to openly and without fear discuss, criticize, and mock religion is an incredibly important part of any free society. The battles over this right have been vicious and bloody and are actively ongoing around the world. Just as an example, anti-blasphemy laws were on the books in Ireland until 2020, there was a huge campaign to have them removed because other countries were pointing to them as an example of why they should keep and exercise such laws.

My point is that I suppose this is something of hyperbole or alarmist or overly strident. I can understand people wanting to be decent about not openly mocking a figure of such importance to so many like Jesus. But quite honestly? I hope Good Omens does whatever it pleases with mocking Jesus. I hope they don't hold back. I hope people remember that being able to mock religion is really important, especially when representatives of that religion are actively trying to clamp down on the rights of others.

And honestly, if religious people are offended they should just not watch or they should develop a thicker skin if they expose themselves to such discourse. Religion and Christianity in particular is an active part of the public sphere. It is worthy of discussion. Public discourse often includes mockery, especially of the powerful and of powerful forces that steer the course of nations, like Christianity.

And I think it's important for Good Omens fans, who are a very progressive group, not to cherry pick and moralize over what satire or blasphemy is permitted. All satire should be permitted. All blasphemy should be permitted. The religious bigots don't care if you think God being a woman is ok but making fun of Jesus isn't. It's all the same, anything but glowing praise is criticism to some of these forces. Open discussion is far more important and yes, that includes mockery, and silly discussions in a silly show about an angel and a demon who avert the Apocalypse and fall in love.

[raeofsunrise]

skate to me

pairing: clapton davis x gn!reader

summary: !BASED OFF A REQUEST I FORGOT TO ATTACH THIS TO! clapton was absolutely astonished when he saw that the person who skated right by him in the hallway was right here, next to him, in his science class.

warnings: light cursing, i think?? i’m not fucking sure at this point

word count: 1.0k

author’s note: so sorry it took me like a whole month to get back! 😭this has been crazy ass couple of months, and i just couldn’t get anything out if i tried. i honestly think that i might take a break on writing for clapton and characters like mike, simply because i don’t think i have any motivation to write for them. i don’t wanna let you guys down, but i also don’t wanna write crappy fics, either. i’ll say on a separate post who i’ll be writing for. thanks so much for your guys support! and with that, enjoy ☆

clapton thought he was the only one who skated through the hallways of grizzly lake highschool. it wasn’t like he gatekeeped it or anything, but it was his thing. and everyone knew that.

so when he felt you brush against him in the hallway this morning, he barely got a glimpse of your shoes and purple hoodie before you skated away. it frustrated him—

wait, skated?

he thought he was crazy. he had to have hallucinated those rollerskates. but the sound when you rushed by him, those had to have been rollerskates. but nobody else but him did that. that was his thing. besides his ego being a bit affected, he was more excited than anything. maybe he could make a new friend. he’d never met anyone else who skated, especially at school. but where did you go? no, more importantly, what class were you in? clapton was not famous for being patient, so this would be difficult.

he begrudgingly made his way to science class, upset that he might not see you until passing period, where the hallway would be filled with what felt like thousands upon thousands of people. no way he was gonna see you during that. and if he tried to find you during lunch? he’d definitely look like a total creep. so this was a lose lose situation. he’d never be able to talk to the stranger with the skates.

this made clapton’s walk to class even more frustrating. throughout the whole day, all he could hope for was to hear your skates against the ground. but he didn’t. not once. it was the end of the day, and he was heading to his last class. clapton was just about done with everything when he saw a pair of skates next to a desk. and just above that desk was a purple hoodie. and even more above that was probably the most gorgeous person he’d ever seen.

he was practically just standing and staring in the doorway. of course you weren’t staring back at him, he thought. you were busy listening to music and getting ready for class, getting your notebooks and everything.

clapton didn’t move until another student shoved him out of the way so they couldd get through, muttering something under their breath in the process. clapton couldn’t care less, though. because there was an open seat next to you and what perfect timing was it that he was the only person who hadn’t sat down yet? this coincidence made him believe that maybe there was a god. maybe it was you.

his mood an entire 180 from how it was less than 2 minutes ago, he sat down right next to you, waiting for you to notice him like an excited child.

not noticing someone had sat next to you, you weren’t expecting someone to be right next to you. normally, as far as first days go, people liked to haze the new kid. so someone looking eager to talk to you was not a good sign.

“hi,” you say slowly, going to look at him.

“hey there, gorgeous.” he said. as soon as that came out of his mouth he knew that was a big yikes. (ayo?? 😟)

your eyes widened. what the hell was his problem?

“woah, coming off a little strong there, aren’t we?” you ask.

how could he save this already trainwreck of a conversation? if he could even call it that.

“sorry, don’t know why i said that. i just, uh,”

shit, shit, shit! think of something clapton!

“you skate, right? that’s pretty cool. i do, too.” he held up his skate board.

still suspicious and not at all buying this “no ill-intentions” act, you pull your skates closer to your desk.

“yeah, i do.”

he continues, “well i just thought that since we both skate we could—“

but he was cut off, as class had apparently started while you two were conversing and your teacher was not happy with either of you.

clapton heard the teacher say both of your last names, followed by a very stern “detention!”

this wasn’t anything surprising to him, but one look at you told him that this was not how you were expecting your first day to go.

you rolled your eyes and shot him a dirty look.

“thanks a lot, davis.”

so instead of a trainwreck, his attempt to talk to you was a total and complete fuck-up.

great.

——————

the end of class came painstakingly slow, and he saw you hurrying to head out so you didn’t have to walk to detention with him. i mean, could he blame you. he practically screwed over your entire day.

clapton always took himself as an optimist, so maybe he could still save this. right?

as you put on your skates, unaware that this might land you in even more trouble, you felt someone tap you on your shoulder.

there was nobody else left in the classroom besides you and the person who you did not wanna see. so you turn around, and with no surprise, there was the douche who landed you in detention.

“oh, are you here to get me suspended, too?” you ask.

he couldn’t help but laugh a bit.

“yeah, i deserve that. sorry about all…this, by the way. i really didn’t mean for you to get in trouble.” he said.

damn, you thought. he’s not a bad actor.

you smiled a not-so-friendly smile back at him. “sure, you didn’t.”

you try to skate away and out of the classroom, but he catches up to you on his skateboard.

“no, seriously! i just wanted to talk to you. i’ve never met anyone who also skates, and i just thought you were really cool and pretty and—“

you stopped skating ahead of him a while ago, but he didn’t notice that, so he kept skateboarding right into an open locker’s door.

you let out a laugh that definitely let every teacher in the vicinity know you weren’t where you were supposed to be right now, but you couldn’t help it.

clapton got up, rubbing the side of his face.

you walk up to him and pat him on the cheek.

“okay, i believe you.” you say, crossing your arms afterwards.

he lets out a smile that you’re pretty sure you’re gonna have to get used to.

“anything i can do to make it up to you?” he asks.

you take off your backpack and shove it in his arms.

“carry this for me?” you say.

“that’s the least i can do.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

You’ve mentioned several times that Matsumoto is deeply weird, could you explain how?

I think Matsumoto is Autistic and EXTREMELY good at masking, somewhat to her detriment, to be honest.

Point the first: Matsumoto drinks a lot- or at least, is SEEN to be "drinking" but she's rarely actually drunk. She's practically sober relative to her companions the few times we see her drinking in a group. I think that she's not drinking that much- She's getting *just* tipsy enough to: 1. Take the edge of some of her sensory issues and 2. To give her plausible deniability if she blurts out the wrong thing or says something that comes out way more rude than she intended. 3. Surround herself with people whose social inhibitions are lowered and whose skills are a bit clumsy- like how she feels all the time.

Point the Second: Matsumoto is Constantly fucking tired. I think the midday naps are the result of constantly overclocking herself to stay socially likeable and ignore how much that 'silly' thing is bothering her and probably also a sensitivity to barometric pressure changes that lots of Autistic people have.

Point The Third: What evidence do we actually have that Matsumoto is a Bimbo vs this is an act she puts on? IIRC, we don't have canon proof she sleeps with anyone in the series except MAYBE Gin, before they became shinigami. It's been 15 years since I read the series but for someone who certainly dresses and talks and plays up her reputation as a Bimbo, Matsumoto doesn't seem to have much sex. I think the Bimbo persona is just that- an act. It's an act she's learned gets her the kind of attention she wants- In the Rukongai, it was probably a great way to earn hella tips while working service jobs before she became a shinigami, in the academy nerds would be falling all over her to help her study, and as a seated officer, the carefully cultivated Bimbo persona means she can sort of excuse herself from any project she doesn't want to work on.

I'm basing that last point, and a lot of Matsumoto's characterization in AEIWAM on my aunt, who is an attractive big-chested blonde who didn't get diagnosed with Autism until her Mid-fifties. But SO MUCH of Matsumoto's mannerisms and behavior from the Manga remind me of Aunt Sophie- she has a doctorate in Theater Science now, but while she was working undergrad, she was a bartender who cultivated a persona she called "Bartend Barbie" who was a silly, slightly drunk and giggly bimbo with an impressive collection of blonde jokes at her disposal, and "Barbie" got about five times in tips what she was being paid hourly, and that's how Aunt Sophie graduated without student debt in the 80's. She's also recently made the connection between how her severe masking is and her profoundly deep understanding of how theatrical roles are played.

I think Matsumoto Rangiku is very autistic but has had a long time and a lot of practice masking to the point where she has an intensely convincing and extremely likeable persona that she uses almost constantly, and that prior to his betrayal, Gin might have been the only person that knew Matsumoto from before her "Barbie" days.

I don't know what Matsumoto's special interests are. Kubo wasn't great at giving his female characters interiority. I'm tempted to give her Aunt Sophie's understanding of theater, but I'm open to suggestions.

[gonzo-rella]

Headcanons: Being Married To Old Man Ray Stantz

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

Relationship(s): old man!Ray Stantz x gn!also old!reader (romantic)

Warnings: Possibly inaccurate science words, because I'm a simpleton. (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: Here's my first Ghostbusters thing! I've got a few other Ghostbusters fics in the works, mostly Ray-based reader-inserts because I'm in love with him, but I've also got a Phoebe-centric character study in the works that's based on part of her storyline in Frozen Empire. By the way, I loved Frozen Empire! I've already seen it three times, and it's such a joy. I'll try to catch it a couple more times at least before it leaves cinemas. Anyway, I haven't included any explicit spoilers for Frozen Empire in this, so you're safe to read this if you haven't seen it yet. I'd love to write more old man Ray Stantz fics, especially something involving Phoebe. I'm really excited to write for Ghostbusters, so feel free to send in requests! I've only seen the movies, but I plan on watching the Real Ghostbusters at some point soon. Also, even though I took my mum to see Frozen Empire the other day, I still don't have anyone to talk to about this movie, so please feel free to talk to me about it!)

It’s evident that, even after all of these years, Ray is still madly in love with you.

The adoration with which he looks at you is clear as day.

Venkman has always loved to tease you both about how sickly sweet your relationship is.

He will make fake gagging when either of you are affectionate to one another when he’s around.

(He won’t admit it, but he actually finds your relationship to be kind of cute)

It’s not like either of you are overly lovey-dovey, especially now.

Ray’s naturally a very passionate and expressive guy, but he’s rarely mushy.

Still, you show one another how much you care.

I have this idea that your silent way of saying ‘I love you’ to each other is holding the other’s hand, stroking their knuckles with your thumb and smiling at them.

It just seems so cute to have this thing that you’ve been doing for your whole relationship.

Ray knows you like the back of his hand, and you know him just the same.

It’s almost scary how well you know one another.

I can imagine that there’s been a time that someone’s asked one of you a question, and the other has been able to answer it with ease.

I love the idea of Ray being with someone who’s not a scientific mind like himself.

So, if you’re not as knowledgeable about the supernatural as Ray, you’ll still have picked up on plenty of information against your will, and Ray will always be impressed with and proud of you when you manage to regurgitate or understand his ‘science-y word salad’ (as you have referred to it).

He will also find it very attractive when you talk supernatural or science to him, but he tries not to make it obvious.

His eyes still light up like he’s a kid on Christmas when he explains supernatural stuff to you or tells you about a new psychically charged item he’s bought, and you find it so endearing.

Also, I can imagine him practically forcing you to listen to Podcast’s podcast when he discovers it, and you both end up getting really into it.

As devoted as he still is to his work and his supernatural endeavours, spending time with you is his greatest priority.

He might miss being an active Ghostbuster, but the silver lining of it is that he gets more time with you than he ever used to.

Even if you both used to be Ghostbusters, it’s nice to spend time together that doesn’t involve being covered in ghost slime and shouting over nuclear accelerators.

If you’ve not got anything else to do, I think it’d be sweet if you kept him company in his store.

Phoebe and Trevor are your honorary grandkids and you and Ray are beyond proud of them, especially Phoebe, who you’re closest to of the two of them.

Phoebe will always remind the both of you of Egon, so whenever she does something particularly Egon-like, you will exchange a knowing glance, and when she’s gone you’ll end up reminiscing about your old friend.

If Phoebe or the other Spenglers ever want to hear about Egon, you’re both more than happy to talk to them about him.

Even in his golden years, Ray is still the same sweet, passionate, excitable man you married all those years ago.

Sure, the regular excitement that came with Ghostbusting is long behind you both, but you both cherish this quieter time together just as much.

[clockwayswrites]

A Broken Sort of Normal Part 4

WC: 439 Materpost CW: Mild Family Drama

Thankfully it wasn’t long before Danny could get home and take a hot shower. The casserole he’d taken out of the freezer was fine to go in the oven at that point, and he tossed it in as he finished drying off his hair. It was getting long again. He’d kept it a bit shorter since he’d started working and figured he’d be due for another cut soon. He grabbed his phone and sent a message to schedule it, or else he’d just put it off until it was unmanageable.

And then he was left staring at his phone.

Thinking about Jazz.

Maybe he should give her another call— another chance.

The phone was ringing before he had thought much about it.

“Danny?”

“Hi Jazz— Jasmine, sorry.”

“It’s fine, Danny,” she said, but Danny could hear the reprimand in her tone. “What going on?”

“I just…” Why was this so hard? “…wanted to call back? Our last call cut short and I didn’t get to tell you everything.”

“Lacey needed me.”

“That wasn’t— I wasn’t trying to say you shouldn’t have ended the call, I just thought I’d try again. I know you’re busy there. You’re still planning the baby shower, right? I’ve got some vacation—”

“Lacey and I talked, and we don’t think you should come,” Jazz said over him. “And not until the baby has been through all their major shots either. It’s just, you’re around disease a lot and we don’t want to take any chances. You get it, right?”

No, he really didn’t. He was emergency response. Jazz would know that if she ever listened to him.

“…Can I at least get the baby something? Do you have one of those list things?”

“It’s called a registry, Danny.”

Danny held back a sigh. He didn’t want this to end in a fight. “Okay, do you have a registry, Jasmine?”

“Of course we do. But we don’t expect you to get us anything off of it,” she said quickly. “We’ve picked out everything based on the latest research into cognitive development and reviews so nothing on it is… cheap.”

“I have a job.” This was going to be like the fight about his schooling all over again— where Jazz called his paramedical degree a trade school. Like there was something wrong with a trade school anyways. “Just send it through, okay? I’ll see whats on it and I won’t send anything that’s not. And I won’t try to visit.”

“Danny…”

“Give Lacey my best, I’ve got to go,” Danny said, hanging up before he could say the angry words that were bubbling up in his throat.

----- AN: So maybe I'm still not over my sil calling my masters of science a trade school. Though there is nothing wrong with a trade school at all and I'll fight anyone who says so. I honestly wished we had more of them in the US. But yep- I might have picked some of the less lovely traits of my sil and a friend to put into Jazz here. I'm not trying to bash her, I just think it would have been so easy for her to go this way if nothing ever came of her parent's research and she didn't have to adjust her world view to helping save her little brother's life nightly. And if all she saw in that little brother now was someone who supposedly didn't try and maybe resents for having to always be the Big Sister.

Danny could sure use some hugs though.

Due to the new post editor and being shadow banned, I no longer tag! You can subscribe to this post instead to be notified in the same way.

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box Series— Cruel Weather (Part Two)

requests: “I was wondering if you’d maybe do something about sissy getting seriously hurt (like a landing in the hospital kind of bad?) I honestly just really want to see all the boys protective and worried about her” and “Hi!!! Im absolutely in love with the penalty box series, and i was wondering if we could get a small blurb with sissy getting injured? ik you did a thing depicting how the boys would react, and im intrigued to see how that would play out:)”

requests based off this ask: how the boys would react to sissy getting hurt

warnings: major car accident, crying, surgery, broken bones, coma, mentions of throwing up, panic attacks, mentions of dying, arguing, mentions of getting drunk

word count: 3.6k

General Series Masterlist

part one — part two — part three — part four

—————

Trevor woke up a little after seven the next morning by Jamie shaking him awake and handing him an iced coffee.

“I bet your back feels great,” Jamie laughed at his best friend’s weird sleeping position.

Trevor stretched and they both winced at the amount of pops there were.

“Depending on how long she’s in here, I might get used to it,” Trevor said. “Thanks.”

Jamie nodded in response and yanked the chair from underneath Trevor’s legs to sit in.

“Mama Hughes is forcing everyone to eat breakfast. We got yelled at for the lack of food, by the way,” Jamie said, getting a small chuckle from Trevor.

“Of course we did.”

“So they all went out and I was permitted to bring you coffee and check on you, and they’ll bring us something back,” Jamie told him.

Trevor nodded in response, “Has anyone heard from Quinn?”

Jamie took a hold of Y/N’s hand at the mention of her best friend’s name, “His flight didn’t take off until close to six, so he should get here around nine, nine thirty. How’s she doing?”

“Same as last night,” Trevor sighed. “If a doctor came in, I slept through it.”

“I’m surprised you slept,” Jamie commented.

“I didn’t wanna disappoint her,” Trevor said low. Jamie understood what he meant. If Y/N heard that he was a wreck and didn’t take care of himself at all, she’d lecture him and feel tremendously guilty.

“How was everyone at the house?”

“It was quiet,” Jamie said. “Scarily quiet. I think everyone was worried they wouldn’t hear a phone ring if they spoke too loud. Jack talked to Quinn, but that was about it. Jim and Ellen slept in my room, and the rest of us all slept in the living room and semi watched the Hunger Games.”

“Alex’s idea?”

“Jack’s,” Jamie answered. “I think it was for Luke.”

“He’s been keeping all of us sane,” Trevor said.

“He’s channeling Sissy,” Jamie smiled.

“She’d kill you if she knew you called her that,” Trevor said in a fake warning tone.

“Good; maybe she’ll wake up,” Jamie joked, and luckily, got a real laugh out of Trevor.

“I needed that.”

“We both did.”

Both boys sat in a comfortable, well… as comfortable as they could be given the situation, silence as they watched the steady up and down movement of Y/N’s chest. Sure, she needed a machine’s assistance, but she was breathing.

The silence was only broken by everyone else filing into the room with food for the two boys. Cole and Alex had stolen some chairs they found in the hall for people to sit in, and made sure to grab an extra for when Quinn arrived.

A nurse came in and checked on all of her vital signs and medication outputs before telling the group that everything looks okay.

“Do you know when she’ll wake up?” Cole asked.

“It’s not an exact science, but she should be waking up within the next couple of days,” the nurse answered politely. They thanked her and returned to their silence when she left.

“Okay, somebody say something. I’m going to go insane,” Luke piped up.

“Remember our senior year?” Alex asked, a hint of mischief laced in his voice.

“Oh god,” Cole groaned into his hands.

“We were all a mess,” Trevor laughed.

“Sissy especially!” Jack called out.

“She was the biggest menace out of all of us,” Alex said.

“She’s still a menace,” Jamie pointed out.

“She was worse,” Trevor told him.

“Much worse,” Luke agreed.

“That was an interesting year to say the least,” Ellen said as she smiled at the boys reminiscing.

“Do I even wanna know?” Jamie asked.

“Give him a glimpse, Z,” Jack said.

“You know how at parties she’s a runner and we tend to tie her to one of us?”

“Yeah?”

“That started after I tripped and sprained my ankle while chasing her around a lake. The only reason I caught her and we made it back is because she puked in said lake and decided to get in it to, and I quote, ‘give herself a bath.’”

Jamie started laughing, genuinely laughing, and it was so contagious that the rest of the group did, too.

It was needed. They knew she was going to wake up soon, and they thought they all deserved a little laughter. It died out quickly, and the reminder of why they were all in a room together was too strong.

“We were supposed to facetime tonight,” Cole said suddenly.

“At eight,” Alex added.

“What movie was she gonna make you watch?” Jamie asked.

“She said it was a surprise,” Cole whispered. He was scared that if he talked any louder, his voice would crack. Him and Alex hadn’t seen her with the breathing tube, yet.

“She keeps a list on her phone of movies she wants to watch with you,” Trevor told him. “I have her phone, if you want to know what tonight’s plan was.”

Cole shook his head, “I’ll let her keep her surprise.”

The group swapped stories, which felt a little weird, but it was something to pass the time. Even in a coma, just stories about her brought smiles to everyone’s faces.

“I don’t even know where she ended up after the party before our draft day,” Jack laughed.

“Sissy and Z ended up sleeping on my floor,” a new voice said in the doorway. Quinn.

Trevor stood up immediately and the two boys, arguably the two most important people to Sissy, stared at each other. Quinn nodded, and somehow Trevor knew what he meant. He met him the middle and the two of them hugged each other the tightest they ever had before. If anyone were to understand just how hard this accident was hitting them, it was the other.

Jamie stood up as well and offered the chair closest to Y/N to him. He sat down and took his best friend’s hand in both of us, just as every other person who has sat in the chair before him.

“Do you want a moment alone?” Trevor asked.

“Yeah,” Quinn croaked. He was already a mess, but seeing her made it all come crashing down. He was no longer focusing on getting to Y/N. He was here. And it was so much worse than he imagined.

Everyone quietly shuffled out of the room and into the hall. Quinn gripped onto Y/N’s uninjured hand for dear life and allowed himself to cry. Only it wasn’t just crying that he was doing. He was full on sobbing with his head down on the thin mattress.

“I just saw you. Last week we were doing our yearly group workout before training camp and now you’re comatose because of how your depression medication mixed with the anesthesia. When Trevor called me to tell me-“

Quinn got too choked up to continue, but he needed to get it out. He didn’t even know if she could hear him; he just needed to say it.

“To tell me you slipped into a coma, I thought he was calling to tell me you died. I thought I was going to have to hear over the phone that you had died and I lost the most important person to me forever. I couldn’t sleep. I know you’ll scold me for that, but I couldn’t. I tried. I just kept waking up from nightmares about life without you.

“You’ve been in my life since I was seven years old. You’ve practically been my sister since day one. I’ve protected you from so much, and I couldn’t stop this from happening. You’ve been through so much, and now you have to go through this, and I won’t be here. Trevor and Jamie are great for you, and they’ll take good care of you, but it won’t be me. It physically can’t be and the thought of that makes me sick.”

Quinn jumped at what happened next. He wasn’t completely sure he didn’t imagine it, that’s how surprised he was.

“Sissy?” he whispered.

This time, Quinn was sure it happened. Y/N’s unconscious form lightly squeezed his hand. Quinn tried to not get his hopes up too high. He knows that movement doesn’t always mean the person will wake up soon, due to the fact that he heavily researched comas the second he was told, but it has to mean something.

“Trevor!” Quinn called out, making sure his voice didn’t portray that it was an emergency.

His tone wasn’t much help, because with the situation at hand, Trevor immediately assumed something was wrong. He ran into the room with his eyes wide and heart racing harder than ever.

“What’s wrong?! What happened?! I don’t hear anything and she looks fine. Well not fine-“

“She squeezed my hand!” Quinn cut him off.

Trevor’s eyes widened at the news. Everyone else overheard the announcement from the hall and came flooding in, as well. Jim told everyone he was getting a nurse to check if it meant something, or if it was a subconscious movement. After all, even years long coma patients can slightly move to external stimuli.

After a few quick trials, it was concluded that she wasn’t squeezing hands as a response, because she would do it at random times, and a few minutes later stopped doing it all together.

It was a false hope.

“I’m sorry,” Quinn said. He was absolutely defeated.

“Don’t be sorry, Quinny,” Jack sighed. “She was squeezing your hand. She squeezed Trevor’s, and she squeezed Dr. Walsh’s hand. She’s in there. She’s just not awake yet.”

“When did you get so wise?” Quinn teased him.

“Z and I were talking about that this morning,” Jamie said.

“About me being wise?”

“Jimmy here said you were channeling Sissy,” Trevor smiled. “I told him she’d kill him if she knew he called her Sissy.”

“I am seeing a bit of Sissy in you lately,” Jim pointed out to his son.

Jack smiled to himself. It was the biggest compliment he could ever receive, in his opinion.

“It’s a twin thing,” Jack joked.

“Definitely a twin thing,” Luke played along.

— — —

It was getting harder than it was yesterday to sit in a room and listen to the heart monitor beep. The more they looked at her, the more frail and broken she looked. It was taking a toll on everyone and it was only day two.

Jim and Ellen went to get everyone lunch, and Jack decided that everyone needs to shower so they’ll take turns going back to Trevor, Jamie, and Sissy’s house. Jack thought Trevor would put up the biggest fight, but it was actually Quinn.

“I just got here!” Quinn argued.

“And you’re all worked up,” Jack tried to reason with his big brother. “You need to-“

“I need to be with her,” Quinn cut him off firmly. “You all saw her last night. You all got to race here the second you got the call while I was stuck in my house going out of fucking mind and you have the nerve to tell me that I need to leave her after only a few hours to take my third shower in the last twenty four hours?!”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just thought-“

“Stop trying to be Sissy!” Quinn yelled.

The energy in the room went still. Everyone was frozen in place. Jack’s eyes might have been wide, but they were full of hurt.

“You’re not Sissy. No one will ever come close to her. She’s lying in a hospital bed, you’re perfectly fine and bossing people around! Well guess what, Jack? I’m not fine! Taking a shower isn’t going to take away from the fact that the person I would take a bullet for is suffering and will be for a long time!”

“You think I’m fine?!” Jack fired back. “I haven’t been fine since Jamie called! I had to tell everyone! I had to call Alex, and Cole, and Luke, mom and dad, and you! I had to make sure Trevor didn’t go catatonic for the entire time Sissy is in the hospital! I had to make sure Luke didn’t fall apart at the seams when he passed by her and Trevor’s room! I’ve been taking care of everybody with no one to help me! I didn’t sleep last night because every time I closed my eyes, I saw her dying in my arms and you think I’m perfectly fine?!”

Jack’s knees started to give out, and if it wasn’t for Cole and Alex catching him and easing him into a chair, he would’ve collapsed on the floor.

“I know she’s your best friend, but she was mine first. I was the one there for her when you left. She kept telling you that she was fine. What she didn’t tell you was that she cried herself to sleep in my bed every night for weeks,” Jack said through tears. “She’s been in my life longer than anyone else’s here. So no, Quinn, I’m not fine. But she won’t be fine if she finds out that everyone important to her fell apart over her, so I’m doing what I can for her.”

“Let’s give the brothers a moment alone with her,” Jamie said. “We can all go to the house to… do things.”

Everyone remained silent as they left, leaving only the three Hughes boys alone. Quinn sighed and took a seat next to Jack.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Me, too,” Jack whispered.

“Did she really cry in your room for weeks?” Luke asked as he got up to sit in the third chair next to Jack. All Jack did was nod.

“She didn’t tell me,” Quinn said glumly. He felt like the worst brother in the world.

“She didn’t want to make you feel guilty,” Jack shrugged. “I’m just glad she moved with us when I went. I don’t even want to think about what could’ve happened to her.”

“She would’ve popped back up into our lives eventually,” Luke said.

“Yeah, but in what state?” Quinn asked.

“Hopefully better than this one,” Luke answered.

— — —

Tensions had died down once everyone came back and the brothers were handed food and politely demanded to eat by Ellen. Lunch was really dinner, because it was just after five.

Y/N remained the same. The nurses checked vitals, administered pain medication, and whatever else they did while they kicked everyone out the room to give them space to work. Everything they did, she still stayed unconscious, and left the group with the constant reassurance that the delayed emergence therapy was working and she should be waking up “within the next few days.”

After Jack and Quinn’s argument, Quinn made sure to make sure Jack wasn’t falling apart while trying to help everybody. He was prepared to fly to Jersey to be with him, so he felt that he should keep his word and be there for him now. If Jack noticed, he drew no attention to it.

The nursing staff kicked everyone out at eight when normal visitor hours ended as opposed to their late night stay the night before. No one wanted to go, but she was stable, so no one fought too hard. Everyone left to the parking lot, leaving only Trevor and Quinn in the room.

“You can stay-“ they both started speaking at the same time.

“She’s your best-“

“She’s your girlfriend,” Quinn cut Trevor off. “You’re her world. Trust me on that. Just call me first if anything happens, alright?”

“Alright,” Trevor smiled.

There wasn’t much for Trevor to do besides worry until he passed out at some ungodly hour, so he put on The Hunger Games to feel like Y/N was watching it with him. The doctors said that the closer she got to waking up, the more she could potentially be aware of external stimuli, and Trevor was too optimistic to not believe it. So, he put on her favorite movie series and hoped for the best.

Everything was fine the entire duration of the first movie. There was nothing but the sounds of the movie and Y/N’s steady heartbeat monitored on the machine.

Everything was fine.

Until it wasn’t.

Well passed one in the morning, the once steady beep was blaring at what felt like a mile a minute. Nurses and doctors came flooding in and immediately began shouting words that Trevor didn’t understand. What he did understand was that he was being ordered out, but that didn’t mean he was going to listen. Instead, he remained in the doorway, helplessly watching while the hospital staff tried to get Y/N back to her original state.

The excessive beeping stopped, and Trevor desperately wanted it to return because the sound that took its place made Trevor sick.

Y/N flatlined.

“No!” Trevor wailed and dropped to his knees.

A nurse immediately went towards him and started to push him out of the room in an attempt to calm him down as the doctor in the room pulled out the defibrillators.

“Sir, you’re having a panic attack,” the nurse told him calmly. “I need you to breathe.”

“My girlfriend just died!”

The nurse was right. Trevor was hyperventilating so much that he could no longer deny what was happening to him. His head felt heavy, his ears were ringing, and his chest felt like it was burning.

“I have to call Quinn!” he shouted out. He probably interrupted the nurse, but he was so out of it, he couldn’t tell. “I have to call Quinn, I have to! You have to let me call Quinn!”

“Okay, Trevor, is it?” She continued when he nodded. “We’ll call Quinn, but we need to focus on you right now before you get hurt.”

Trevor continued to fight with her and caused quite the scene in the hallway. The next thing he knew, he was being held down and given a shot. Then it went black.

— — —

Quinn threw up when he hung up the phone.

Sissy flatlined. She died. They barely got her stable in time. His world almost ended.

Alex was the one that found him and got him calmed down enough to talk to him, the only thing was that he didn’t. Quinn could already be a quiet guy, but he had gone silent. Alex couldn’t even get his attention.

“Quinn!” Alex shouted. He grabbed his face in hands and looked directly into his eyes. “Now is not the time to shut down! What happened?! What happened, Quinn?!”

All the commotion brought the attention of the others, but Jack and Luke were the only ones that stepped into the bathroom.

“Q?” Jack asked calmly. “Quinn, what’s wrong? What happened? Is Sissy okay?”

Quinn shook his head.

“Quinn, how much worse can she get from being in a coma?”

Nothing. Jack put his hands on his brother’s shoulders, “HOW MUCH WORSE CAN SHE GET FROM BEING IN A COMA?!”

Ellen pushed everyone out of the way, including her middle child, and stood close to Quinn.

“Give him room!” Ellen shouted, shooing Alex and Jack out of the small bathroom. “Let’s give him some time to breathe before we hound him!”

It took twenty three minutes for Quinn to get to a state of mind where he could actually speak coherent sentences he was in so much shock. Everyone had gone downstairs, Quinn included, and waited. Jack got him water and sat next to him while Ellen comforted him on his other side.

“Quinny, just answer me this— is Sissy okay?” Luke asked. “Just move your head. You don’t have to speak.”

Luke was shaking. Quinn took notice and his big brother mode kicked in.

“She’s stable,” he said.

Everyone let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding. The fear of the worst had captivated every single one of them. What else would send Quinn into silence?

“Then… what- what uh… what happened?” Jamie asked awkwardly, terrified for his answer.

“She died,” Quinn said in monotone. He was still in shock.

“No! No, no, no! Quinn, you just said she’s stable!” Jack shouted at him.

“She is. They barely got to her in time,” Quinn said, a little more lively this time. “She died. But she’s stable now.”

Quinn caught his little brother’s eyes— they were clouded by fear. No, fear wasn’t the right word for it. He looked terrified.

Quinn was so focused on Jack that he failed to notice Jamie. In fact, everyone was so focused on Quinn that they failed to notice Jamie. Jamie, who felt like the weight of the sun just landed on his chest. Jamie, who didn’t hear anything past “she died.” Jamie, who was against the wall with his knees pressed to his chest and couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He hadn’t known Y/N for as long as the others, not even close, but he loves her. He loves her just as much as anybody else. She’s one of his best friends, and he doesn’t want to live in a world without her. He lives with her! In the very house they’re in right now. Where he just got the news. And suddenly, he’d rather be anywhere else. Jamie made a break for the door, but Jack caught him and turned him to face him.

“Jimmy! Hey, look at me,” Jack said urgently. His hands were on Jamie’s shoulders to keep him in place. “She’s alive. Sissy is alive. Y/N is alive.”

Jamie leaned backwards and slammed his head against the wall. He closed his eyes and wiped his hands down his face.

“Thank fuck,” he said through tears.

Jack put a comforting hand on his shoulder and pulled him in for a hug, “Yeah. Thank fuck.”

[fairyofshampgyu]

Corrupt File !

genre: smut, college au

pairing: programmer! beomgyu x gn reader (afab when it comes to smut)

warnings: nsfw, sub virgin nerd! beomgyu, dom! reader, corruption kink, mentions of p0rn, handjob, riding

word count: 1.8k

Choi Beomgyu. Goodie two shoes in your comp sci class who was the teacher’s pet and notorious for being an ‘excellent’ and ‘strong’ programmer who can program amazingly well in any language and has great debugging skills. Apparently he learnt how to program at the early age of 7 and made his own pac man after a week. 

He’s also a little pretentious bitch. He thinks he’s better than everyone else in the class and doesn’t bother speaking to anyone, giving others judgemental stares. You’ve seen him a couple times on campus with four other dudes though but none of them were in any of your classes. He comes to every single class early with his cute little outfits, sweater vests and cardigans whilst everyone else is in their hoodies and deranged with little sleep, sits at the front and doesn’t talk to anyone but the teacher. 

You? Well, you’re mediocre at programming. You’re not too bad but you prefer other aspects of computer science and your programming skills have always made you slightly insecure because you weren't the best of the best and you didn’t learn it at some ridiculously young age and program 24/7 all types of games and websites and other stuff. You had to work so hard to actually get to a good level of programming whilst it came so easy to people like Choi Beomgyu. He seems so perfect. It made you want to imperfect him. 

You were late to class today, getting a bit delayed by some cats on the way there. They were really cute cats what can you say! And you loved cats. But being late to class today meant that all seats were occupied except for the front row and the spare seat, unsurprisingly was next to Choi Beomgyu. He doesn’t pay you any attention though, waiting for his computer screen to load and then the teacher begins.

“Alright, today I thought our class was in great need of some partner work and we’ll be doing programming today. With whoever is sitting next to you, I’d like you to develop a program with them. It can be on everything and anything and you have the weekend to create it, using Python.”

Wow. It was just your luck. 

The boy besides you sighs, pushes his cute, round, kinda too big for his face, glasses up and turns his body to face you. 

To be honest, you wouldn’t have minded working with him. Despite being slightly jealous, you did admire his skill but with how hostile he was being and how clearly he resented the idea of working with you, you didn’t think this was going to go too well.

“...We could make like a simple video game or something...” You speak up first.

 “On python? And too basic.” He rolls his eyes and shuts your suggestion off.

You’re slightly agitated with him now and you show it with your tone. “Well what do you think we should do then, huh?”

“I think we should make a music suggestion tool. We could make an algorithm run that recommends music based on what we think the user will like.”

He doesn’t wait for you to agree, opening up python and already starting to write some code.

For the rest of the class, you don’t contribute much, just trying to give him some suggestions to add maybe a function over there or a loop over here, maybe trying to find a reason as to why a syntax or logic error came up. You’re already halfway done and sure it would need more refining but now you know it won’t take up your whole weekend which is good. You watch him carefully as he stays very focused, fluffy dark hair falling into his face and eyes and his circular glasses that had drooped back down to his nose. You look down to his hands. He was very fast at typing and his hands were oddly very pretty.

Upon inspecting his features, you come to the conclusion that he was in fact actually pretty attractive. How had you never noticed before?

“We can carry on working on it at my place right now if you want?” Beomgyu asks, packing up his pink laptop, pink pencil case and pink notebook back into his crossbody bag after the class had finished. You stare at your own laptop that just has a black hard case cover, your pencil case that looks like it’s been through three wars, and your notebook that was really just a bunch of lined paper. Wow, he even had a theme going on. 

“Oh I've actually got another class after this that won’t be done until about two hours but I can come after that. Just send me your address.” So you exchange phone numbers and go off your separate ways. 

Apparently you were the only one who wasn’t informed that your class was actually cancelled today, your professor going on strike or something like that. Sighing, you check your phone to see that beomgyu had sent you his address and it’s not that far from the campus. You could go there early then.

knock, knock, knock. He was taking weirdly long to open his door and you could hear some rustling and bustling until he finally did open his door.

“Oh. You’re here early.”

“Yeah turns out my class was actually cancelled.”

His room was exactly how you expected it to look; clean and cute and quite perfectly him. The room had a pastel coloured running theme but mostly just pink and white. Fairy lights, strung across the headboard of his bed, a pastel pink record player in the right corner with an assortment of vinyls underneath, ones you recognised and liked and some you didn't recognise, an acoustic guitar to the left on a stand near his shelf and there was a worn out teddy bear occupying his bed. 

He sits on his bed and you follow...and then you both just sit there doing absolutely nothing for a few seconds in awkward silence.

“Uhhh aren’t you gonna get your laptop? We wrote it on your laptop?” You laugh, awkwardly.

“Uh yeah. Right.” So he gets his laptop, very slowly opening it and he’s just about to open the .py file when his mouse board falters over the safari accidentally and the hidden window was freed with a very suggestive video on it paused and an even more suggestive website. Your eyes go wide and so does his.

“I-it’s not- it’s not what it looks like! I-it’s just when you’re watching on a dodgy website and those pop ups come up! yeah...yeah!” He’s furiously clicking the red button on the top left hand corner to close the window immediately. But you can’t help the grin slowly appearing on your face.

You move slowly closer towards him and he moves back, stopping when his head touches the pretty fairy light headboard. “Oh really? Because it seems like you were jerking off before I was here.” Your face is only a few inches away from his now and he gulps, looking up at you. When he doesn’t even say anything to defend himself, you chuckle at him. “What happened to the little goodie two shoes? I didn’t know you were such a fucking whore.”

“I’m not-i’m not a whore!”  

“Are you sure?” You move to his clothed dick which was painfully hard now, lightly palming it and his whole body jerks, moaning and eyelids fluttering. 

“More, more...” 

You scoff. “Have you ever had a handjob before?” He shakes his head. “Do you want one?” Slack-jawed, he nods his head profusely.

You free his dick and take it into your hands, starting to stroke him and his hands fly to shyly cover his face, attempting to conceal his moans but not to much success.

“Don’t cover your pretty face.” You tut at him, “I wanna see it.” You bring your own hands to remove them away from his face. Not gonna lie, it’s turning you on immensely seeing beomgyu like this. Little put together, pretentious, perfect beomgyu is like this right now, begging you to touch him, clueless and embarrassed. You want to absolutely ruin him. 

 “Aw I bet you didn’t get to cum before did you?” 

“yeah...”

“Don't worry, baby I'll let you cum.”

You use your thumb to go back and forth on his sensitive tip while your other hand grabs the base of his dick and his mouth hangs wide open in endless moans and gasps. You pump his dick fast up and down, ruthlessly jerking him off and his breath hitches.

“Close!” He lets out the loudest moan so far and you abruptly stop. He utters a frustrated whine, hips bucking up and pouting at you, “I thought you said you’d let me cum.”

You can’t help but giggle at him. He’s so cute. “I will. In my pussy.” That seems to shut him up.

You get on top of him, straddling his waist and gently pinning both of his hands to the headboard. He looks at you slightly nervous.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“But I want to.”

“You sure?” He nods his head.

“Okay.” You inhale a breath before positioning his tip to your entrance and you look to his face again for confirmation and when there’s no sign of uncertainty , you slowly sink down.

“Oh, fuck! Feels so gooood” His face contorts in pleasure and he turns his head to the side, burying it into the pillow whilst his mouth stays parted. You lift up and drop back down hard, making him cry out a loud moan and you begin to ride him slow.

He was already so blissed out by you riding him slow you wonder how he’d be if you quicken your pace so you do, riding him mercilessly now, basically bouncing on his cock and he moans uncontrollably, incoherent words coming out of him with a fucked out face in a daze. Only his moans getting higher in pitch by the second and the noise of skin slapping filling the room.

“C-cumming, cumming!” And with a loud whine and his eyes slightly rolling back, his dick jerks and spills all inside of you with his body trembling.

His face right after being fucked is gorgeous. He’s breathless and panting by his first proper orgasm with his cheeks and chest flushed, face glistening because of the sweat and his fluffy hair completely wrecked now, glasses a bit crooked and head in the clouds.

Yeah, maybe you won’t end up getting the program done in time after all.

COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE REALLY APPRECIATED GUYS 😭<333

[homisexual11]

Risk I’m Willing To Take (Jasper Hale X Alice Cullen X Reader)

WC:4.0K

Warnings: Mentions of blood… vampirism? Mostly fluff.

Summary: You’re new in Forks and become close with a couple… you find out what they are, fall in love, and… yeah.

Being a human in Forks was common; being a human in Forks who became friends with the Cullens… not as much. With the risks that everyone had to take, the Cullens and the humans alike would stay away. Well, the humans would if they understood. They would have stayed away from you if they could have, they really would have… but then Alice had a vision. She saw you. She saw you, someone they had never met before, coming into their lives. A human. She didn’t see you the same way she saw Bella originally, there was something different about you. She assumed it was just the fact that you weren’t going to be romantically involved with anyone, but she couldn’t have been more wrong.

As they got closer to meeting you, she told Jasper all about you. All about what she would see. She saw you becoming best friends with her and Jasper specifically, even closer than Bella was to them. (Which wasn’t saying too much, but still…) Jasper could feel the excitement radiating off her, he could almost feel the same way about you just because of her. He had reservations, worried about becoming close with another human, so close after they met Bella, but when they saw you for the first time, it all felt better.

Your father was in the military and had been assigned to Fairchild AFB in the middle of the school year. It wasn’t particularly close to Forks, but your parents thought Forks was a good place to move and only thirty minutes away from the base. It was a small town, but you didn’t mind it. It was better than living on base. When you stepped in for Junior year on that first day, Alice almost exploded. She couldn’t believe she was finally seeing you, her new best friend… even if you didn’t know it yet. Jasper didn’t calm her down, even if he was almost overwhelmed with how happy she was. They were in three of your classes each, both were in English with you, but Jasper was in your Science and History, while Alice was in your Math and Art.

Jasper ended up meeting you first, not expecting when you walked into History at the beginning of the day. When he heard your name, his head shot up. Well, everyone did, but their reason was not expecting someone new. Then… he needed to get out of there. As if high school wasn’t hard enough for him, hundreds of beating hearts with blood pumping through them… that blood, no, YOUR blood was almost enough to drive him insane. He couldn’t walk out then, he couldn’t make a scene… he had to sit through the rest of that class, finally realizing what having a singer was like.

You weren’t nervous that whole day, but you were quiet. You kept to yourself, something Jasper could understand. You were an introvert, much like him. Edward could hear his thoughts, part of him being nervous about the logistics of being around someone who he wanted to drain more than anything else, the other part of him wondering exactly what your blood would taste like. Jasper could feel Edward being nervous about this, he had heard a little bit about you from Alice, but not nearly as much as the blonde. Jasper had been holding his breath the whole day, and he almost let something slip… he was eager for more of you, but he knew if he took a breath, he would lose it.

You got lucky enough to sit in the back, right next to Edward. You were going to become better friends than expected, even if he didn’t say anything to you yet. You had most of your classes with him, and although you were both quiet, you got along in the silence. History, science, math, and art. (I haven’t read Midnight Sun yet, I don’t know what classes he took but I feel like he would take art. I think every one of the Cullens would take art, but that’s probably just me) You got lucky, Edward was part of the reason Jasper didn’t find a way to drain you that first day. He got a smile from you as you sat down next to him, and immediately just paid attention to the lesson.

Your next class was English, poor Jasper couldn’t catch a break, but at least he had Alice with him. When Alice heard your name for the first time, she was going insane. Jasper held her hand under the table to keep her from running up to you and suffocating you in a hug. She knew so much about you already, and she was so happy to finally see you in person. There was a slight problem, though… the way your blood smelled. The vampire lovers had both managed to find their singer. Alice knew she could deal with it, even if it were hard… she would tell Jasper about it later at home, and everything would be fine.

You found that in English, you had a ton of free time, and the teacher was laid back enough to let people move around and do whatever they wanted after the lesson was finished. You would have been content to sit there on your own when one pixie-haired girl came up to you. “I’m Alice,” she said, giving you her hand to shake. Jasper was even surprised at her eagerness.

“Y/N,” you said, shaking her hand but feeling a little awkward about it. Her hand was freezing, but you knew better than to jump back or flinch.

“I know,” she said without thinking, then trying to fix it, “I heard it when our teacher introduced you, and I think my boyfriend is in your History class. His name is Jasper, I don’t know if you know him or not, but you’re the talk of the entire town. Hasn’t been like this since Bella moved here. Ooh! Have you met her? She’s actually really sweet, if a little awkward.”

She had immediately felt like your best friend, even if you didn’t understand it. Jasper subtly used his gift, something he didn’t think through very much, just to make you a little more comfortable. He wouldn’t normally do something like that, especially not to a human he barely knew… well, technically barely knew, but he didn’t want to have to watch Alice humiliate herself. You had no choice but to feel okay, and when he left he tried his best to take it away without you having a drop.

The rest of that day sped by, and your new friend… well, technically friends (they’re a package deal) ensured you had someone to be around all day. You didn’t mind their presence–even without Jasper using his gift on you, which he didn’t use for the rest of the day–and found it comforting. Alice told you about their family, and as she did you looked around. There was a blonde girl, you soon found out her name was Rosalie, who kept staring at you. She didn’t like you much, and Alice explained that she didn’t like many people and that she didn't mean anything by it. She was Jasper’s twin. You could see a little bit of resemblance, but nothing too crazy.

Weeks passed, leading to months, and you had grown close to almost all of the Cullens. Rosalie learned to accept you, despite her earlier reservations. You knew something was off about all of them, but you never brought it up. You were happy to have friends; you would never have discovered their secret if it weren’t for Bella Swan. She was in PE with you, and even though you rarely ever spoke, you were friends by association with the Cullens. You had both managed to roll your ankle on the same day, so you could sit out.

“You’re Edward’s girlfriend, right?” She asked you.

“Umm.. it’s complicated,” she says, tucking her hair behind her ear for what seemed like the millionth time in that class period alone. “But you know how things are with the vampires…”

“Vampires, huh?” You thought she was kidding at first, but when you saw the look of panic on her face everything clicked. She tried to come up with some bullshit excuse, but you weren’t for it. She begged you not to say anything, which further proved it. She was either crazy, or your best friends were vampires. Either one was very likely when you thought about it, and they honestly weren’t mutually exclusive.

As soon as you had that conversation, Alice had a vision. She hadn’t seen this one coming, it was out of the blue. She saw you coming to their house after school, and only one other thing was clear… vampire. It didn’t make much sense, but she figured it out. And if she was right… there was a problem. She looked over at Edward who seemed to understand. They both came up with a plan to leave class, and grab Jasper on the way out. Edward could just barely hear your thoughts as you ran into the bathroom, they weren’t the only ones who were making an excuse to leave.

You tried to tell yourself that you were being overdramatic; how could your best friends be vampires? You weren’t superstitious, and you didn’t believe in things like that. You decided to tell your teacher you had been sick and go home, once school was over you would sneak out and go to the Cullen’s. You didn’t think it was the smartest, but you needed some time to think.

Your plan worked, both of your parents were working so they couldn’t be home. Everything would work out, leaving you to spiral. As soon as it was 2:45, you got in your car and drove straight to the Cullens. You knocked on the door, Carlisle answering. “Hello, Y/N, may I ask what you’re here for?”

“I need to talk to Alice,” you said. You barely noticed yourself, but you were almost shaking.

“That eager, huh?” He notes. “Well, come in. I think she’s up in her room with Jasper, but I can go get them–”

“Dr. Cullen, I think it’s best if I go up to see them.”

“Y/N–”

“I’m sorry, but I promise, it’ll be fine. I’m sure they won’t mind, sir.”

He hesitantly let you inside, and you thanked him before running up and knocking on the door. “Come in,” you heard someone say.

You walked into the room and Alice immediately stood up. You both looked at each other, no one wanting to say the first thing. Jasper just stared his usual stare. After a minute of awkward silence, you could only get one word out. “Vampire?”

Out of the many things you wanted to say, all you could get out was one word. Everyone in the house heard it, yet no one said a word. Alice finally looked down. “Y/N…”

“I’m sorry, I… maybe Bella is just crazy, and I’m as crazy for believing her. This was stupid, I should have left this be–”

“Y/N,” Jasper spoke this time. As soon as he spoke you felt a little more calm. He knew he was going to regret anything he said, everyone in the house would… but dammit, if Bella already said something their only choice would be to tell you or leave you thinking you were insane and never speak to you again. “You’re not crazy.”

“No, Jasper, I’m–”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Alice assured. “You aren’t crazy. Bella… that’s a different story.”

You laughed a little, but it didn’t last very long. Jasper looked over at Alice, and then Edward walked into the room unannounced. You thought it was because of the Bella comment, but he didn’t say anything about it. He nodded towards Alice, before walking right back out.

Alice walked up to you and touched your arm gently. “You can leave right now if you want to, but if you do that… we won’t talk to you again. Or, you can come downstairs with us and…” she sighs, looking over at Jasper. “Is this worth it?”

“I don’t know,” he says. He couldn’t look at you, even if he so desperately wanted to. “This is risky, telling her…”

“So I’m right,” you said.

“It would be impressive, had Bella not told you,” was Jasper’s response.

“So… you guys are vampires?”

Alice looked up at you. “Let’s go downstairs, I think everyone is already waiting…”

You didn’t know what was going on, but you let her lead you downstairs with Jasper following behind. Just as she said, every one of the Cullens was waiting, and Bella was right behind Edward. Alice kept a supporting hand on you the entire time as Jasper stood right next to her. “Another human?” Emmett asked. He seemed pleasantly surprised.

Alice nodded, and at that same time, her face went blank for at least fifteen seconds. Jasper put an arm on her, “What did you see, hon?”

“Nothing,” she says, it was a lie. She had seen something that put some things into perspective. She had seen all of you getting together, you, her, and Jasper. “It’s too far away, it wasn’t clear enough yet.”

Edward tensed but he didn’t say anything.

“Well,” Carlisle began. “I guess she deserves an idea of what’s going on right now.”

“You’re vampires?” You half-asked, half-said. You could see Rosalie glaring at Edward and Bella, only for Carlisle to speak again.

“Rosalie, it’s alright,” Carlisle tried to assure her.

“She would have found out anyways, Rose,” Edward told her. Ever the Bella defender, “Bella just sped up the process.”

“It was an accident,” Bella tried to say, but Edward gave her a look that told her not to speak.

“We’re not mad at you, Bella,” Esme smiled. She walked up to you and tucked your hair behind your ears. “We aren’t mad at you, either. I hope you know that.”

You didn’t exactly know what to say, so you nodded.

“Considering previous events, it goes unsaid that you know. Yet I still feel the need to say it, Y/N. We are vampires, yes. Now that you know this, there are some… conditions,” everyone seemed nervous as Carlisle spoke, Alice unintentionally tightened her grip on you just short of bruising. “You cannot tell anyone what you know, not your mother, not your father, not your closest friends. I wish you would have had a chance to back out rather than what is going on now, everything you know is at risk now.”

You nodded, so he continued. “It’s not all bad, though. Now there aren’t secrets around here anymore,” he was purposefully avoiding the elephant in the room. The fact that they needed blood. Edward read your thoughts.

“Carlisle,” he says, and the doctor sighed but forced a smile.

“You want to know about the… blood issue?” Jasper tensed, and Alice put her other arm on him.

“Blood issue, he calls it,” Emmett snickered, Rosalie smacked him in the gut to shut him up.

“We don’t drink human blood,” Carlisle explained. “I’d be happy to explain later, whenever you ask. For some of us…” he glances in your direction, with Jasper staring down at the floor. “It’s harder than with the others. You needn’t worry.”

“Do you just not want blood…?” You asked, it was a stupid question.

“No, not exactly,” he told you. “We all want it, but it’s easier the longer you’re around it. We live off animal blood, we’re what you could call… vegetarians. Just the vampire equivalent of it.”

You nodded. It was quiet for a moment, before you asked something again, “What… um.. Happened with Alice a second ago?”

“Some vampires are gifted,” Carlisle responds. “Technically, all of us are. Some of us are more obvious than others. Mine, for example, is on the more subtle side… compassion. I have a better ability to resist blood than some others, hence why I’m in the medical field. Edward is a mind reader, on the more apparent side. Alice can see the future, she has premonitions.”

You stayed quiet. “I’m sorry you have to know this,” Esme says quietly. “I wish, much like the rest of us, that you would have had a choice…”

“It’s okay, Alice told me I could’ve walked away…” you said when you thought about it and looked over at her and realized something. Whether it was just a feeling for the moment or something that would stay, you were in love.

“We wanted to give her a… level of a choice, even if it was just two extremes,” Jasper said. You looked at him and felt the same thing you felt towards Alice. You saw him tense up for a second before he pretended to be okay.

“I still don’t understand why we couldn’t have said that Bella was crazy and walked away,” Rosalie rolled her eyes. “All of this could have been avoided.”

“Rosalie,” Carlisle says. “Y/N is part of our family now, like Bella.”

“Why don’t we invite the whole town… better yet the whole state into our ‘family’ while we’re at it!” She says. She wasn’t yelling, more like stating in an aggressive and loud tone. Emmett grabbed her hand and they walked to their room together. Bella looked ashamed, but it wasn’t much different than the way she normally looked.

“I’m sorry if I’m causing turmoil,” you said.

“Don’t apologize, my love,” Esme says. “Like Carlisle says, you’re a part of our family now.”

Carlisle smiled. “Do you have any other questions?”

“Not yet… I don’t think,” you said.

“Well, I’ll let you go then. My door is always open if you need anything.” Carlisle went to his office, Esme kissed your cheek before going into the kitchen, and Edward and Bella both went to his room, leaving you and your best friends in the room together.

“I’m sorry,” Alice said. “But at least now there aren’t any secrets.”

“Right,” you forced a smile. “No secrets.”

You weren’t going to say anything yet; you would probably never say anything if you were being honest. Having feelings for a boy was one thing, it was another to have feelings for both that boy and his girlfriend. If you had found out what Jasper's gift was then, you would have run away and forgotten all about that, even if it could very well get you killed.

“This is such a risk,” Jasper says quietly.

“Jas, it’s a risk I’m willing to take,” you tell him. “Y’all have been my only friends since I moved here, and pretty much the best friends I’ve ever had.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

A couple of months passed, and you hoped that feeling would go away… but it didn’t. Every day you fell a bit more for your two best friends. Jasper could sense it, and Alice would get visions, but neither wanted to say anything until you did. They spoke to each other about it frequently and agreed to wait for you to say something. They would wait years if you needed, decades even. They started to fall for you too, not just the idea of you… but you in who you were. They fell for you, your flaws, and your perfections. It wasn’t conventional, but they didn’t care.

You never would have said anything, not until a certain conversation with Edward. You had grown close to him, which was weird to both of you. But he started to feel like an older brother to you, and so did Emmett. The topic of conversation had been how Alice and Jasper got together, leading to you finding out exactly what Jasper’s gift was. Manipulating and… feeling emotions. Your heart sank and you told him you needed to leave, but he knew exactly what was going on. He didn’t stop you.

This was exactly what Alice had envisioned when they were telling you about vampires. It somehow had managed to stay the same, only now, she had more of a view on your future as well.

How you had managed to be friends with them for as long as you had, and never found out what Jasper’s gift was… you don’t know. You debated, once again, leaving and running away. But… something told you not to. You needed to go see them, needed to talk to them. You slowly walked over there, knocking on the door. “Y/N!” She says, hugging you. “What’s up?”

You didn’t say anything, just walked in there. They didn’t mind, you were close enough. Jasper could sense your nervousness and… well, a bunch of other emotions that you couldn’t figure out. “Do you want to talk?” He asked gently, coming to sit down closer to you.

“You can feel emotions,” you said.

“Yes,” he said. “I can, in fact, feel emotions. What about it?”

“So you’ve…” you couldn’t bring yourself to say it.

He luckily understood. “You mean your personal feelings? Yes, I have.” You were embarrassed. “Don’t worry, it’s normal… I guess.”

“Does she know?” You asked, glancing over at Alice.

“She was the first one to know,” he told you. She nodded. “She knew before you knew. I found out as soon as you did, and so did Edward. He mentioned it once, and never again.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, playing with your fingers.

“Don’t apologize, it’s alright,” Alice said, smiling and taking one of your hands gently. She did stuff like that a lot, but this felt strangely intimate.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“We didn’t want to embarrass you, we know a lot has been going on recently,” Jasper tells you. “This is a complicated situation, we didn’t want to add to the stress.”

“But you’ve known,” you said. They nodded. “I can leave.”

“Please don’t,” Alice said. “Y/N… I’ve seen it. I’ve seen a future with all three of us, where we’re together. It’s in no way conventional, and obviously, there are some… issues, but we can make it work. I know we can. We both love each other so much, but we also love you.”

“If you’ll have us, darlin’,” Jasper says. “We want you to be ours.”

You were almost speechless. Was this really happening? Was this just a cruel dream? Jasper comes to kneel in front of you, Alice sitting beside you. “You mean it?” You ask.

“Yes,” Alice smiles.

“But you need to understand, this is even more a risk than just being friends with us. I don’t mean to worry you, but this is a big deal, Y/N,” Jasper tells you. “I can’t let you go on without you understanding it.”

“I know, Jasper. And… it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

He smiled, taking your hand and pressing a gentle kiss to it. The little gesture made you turn pink, and he smiled. That was about as far as he could go, he would need a break from humans for a minute after you left. He went to sit back down a little further away from you. He had grown close to you as a friend and was fine, but now there was more to it. But somehow... It felt like it was getting easier.

Alice looked at you, she could deal with a bit more than he could, but she didn’t know what you were ready for. She kissed your cheek softly, intertwining your fingers with the hand she was holding.

You knew that this wasn’t going to be easy; it would tear you apart every day. You didn’t complain though, even with the dangers. You loved them, and they loved you… and that made this a risk you were willing to take

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

You look lonely… (Miguel O’Hara x Spider! Fem! Reader) Drabble

This is based off that one part of Bladerunner 2049. I saw a tiktok user use an ai voice thingy to make Miguel say it any I instantly thought of this. Not proofread. Also cried writing this lmao.

Alternative universe reader, antsy, reader mourning, vague implications of reader being depressed and wishes she was dead (??? idk if that’s the best way to describe it) ,Reader’s version of Miguel is dead, mentions of throw up, mentions of animal dissection (it’s one line about it, it’s the whole dissecting frogs in science class thing), no use of (Y/N).

Word count: 1k

Masterlist

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Your arms were beginning to grow sore, your vision continued to blurry and refocus underneath your mask, and your chest started to burn from the cold winter air. But you didn’t stop swinging. If you stopped swinging then you’d start to think, and you didn’t wanna think, not today.

It’s been a year since Miguel died. It’s been a year since you’ve started to lose purpose without his existence. He was… everything to you. The reason for your smiles and laughter, the reason you had hope for the world despite your first-hand experience seeing how evil mankind can be. He was the moon against your night sky. A beacon of light to follow during a time where you are shrouded in darkness and uncertainty.

You both met in high school during freshman year science class, when you were 14 and he was 15 You never really paid much mind to him at first. He was quiet, and somewhat shy, always sat at the front, he’d wear a pair of thick rim glasses and always had on crew neck sweaters. He was skinny but he wasn’t thin, he was quite lean from the looks of it, catching a small glimpse of his forearm once and a while when his sleeves would slide down a bit as he’d raise his arm to ask a question or answer one.

Your first real interaction together though was when your class was doing a unit on anatomy, and your class had to dissect frogs. You were partnered with Miguel, and everything was going well, until your stomach couldn’t handle it and you accidentally threw up on his lap. How he didn’t completely hate your guts after was a complete and utter miracle. He was so understanding about it, and assured you that he didn’t even like the jeans he was wearing that day and he was planning on tossing them anyways as you both made your way to the nurse’s office, you blabbing apologizes in between hiccups and sobs.

Since then you two became inseparable, late night movie marathons, “study” sessions where you’d end up talking about anything and everything other than your homework, him teaching you how to drive after he got his license in his old beat up Toyota Camry. When you first found out you had superpowers, he was listening to you ramble over the phone despite it being 2 am on a school night, helping you design and develop your web shooters and your costume, helping patch you up after particularly bad fights, always leaving his bedroom window unlocked for you just in case. He was your rock, unmoving against the constant waves of chaos your life had thrown at you. You could always count on him. It was you both against the word for the next 9 years after that fateful incident in freshman year.

Until a year ago today.

You wish you could go back in time, and stop him from following you as you made your way to time square. Tell him that if he followed you, he’d die and you can’t have that because without him, life felt so empty and devoid of happiness. Save him from the broken metal scrap that became lodged in his stomach that doc ock had thrown in your direction and you had dodged, not seeing him running towards you from behind. You wish you had more time to kiss him goodbye before death’s unforgiving hands took him from you. You wish death had taken you instead. It should have been you. It was supposed to be you.

It should have been you. It should have been anyone else. Anyone else but him. It shouldn’t have been him.

You couldn’t swing anymore. It started to hurt and you had to make sure you had enough web fluid to make it home. So despite your brain’s best efforts, you finally stopped swinging, landing and scaling the tallest building you were closest to before collapsing onto your back, and taking your mask off to properly catch your breath. You took in a deep breath and closed your eyes, trying to focus on the sounds of New York rather than the way your heart ached as you absentmindedly played with Miguel’s ring that you had on a chain around your neck. You were able to calm yourself down enough that you began to doze off, almost falling asleep until your spidey senses began to go off and you heard a weird nose behind you. You quickly got up and turned around, placing the necklace back into your suit just in time to see another Spider-person in blue and red suit walking through some weird portal. He was massive, it was honestly intimidating, you’ve faced larger men, but something about him was different… you couldn’t put your finger on it though.

You didn’t say anything as the thing he came through closed behind him and he stepped closer to you. Despite the mask on his face you could feel him staring into your soul, as if he was studying you.

“¿Que día… hmm?” he spoke in a soft tone, although the question felt rhetorical, you felt yourself nodding anyways, knowing what he said because you had picked up some Spanish from Mig. You didn’t get a catch to reply properly as he kept making his way towards you. (What a day…)

“You look lonely…” He stopped just out of arm’s reach.

“I can fix that.” Something about the way he said it made your stomach both twisted nervousness and erupted with butterflies, an odd warmth seeping into your chest and into your heart that you had thought had stopped beating long ago. Something about him seemed so… familiar…

“You look like a good spider…” The words feel like they should be seen as a taunt or condescending, some form of insult but the way he was saying it felt like he was genuinely praising you. You swallow the lump in your throat as you finally find the courage to speak.

“Who are you?”

His mask devolves into thousands of little pixels, before you're able to see his face. The sight draws a gasp out from your lips, you couldn’t stop your voice from cracking and your eyes from watering once more.

“Miggy?”

[headkiss]

secret admirer

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: based on a request for secret admirer steve with a shy reader. you’ve had a crush on steve for a while, little did you know he felt the same. he was your secret admirer as well as your science partner, though you only knew one of those things.

word count: 10.5k

warnings: fluff, smut, like a tiny bit of angst if you squint. a world where steve and nancy never dated.

a/n: hi! idk why this ended up being so long but i hope you guys like it!! sorry it took forever to get done but i got like super carried away with this request, but here she is in all her glory!!!

༄

You never expected anyone to notice you. Certainly not at school. You were the kind of person that remained in the background, an extra in a life full of main and supporting characters. You were constantly reading books, getting lost in other worlds and people with lives far more exciting than yours.

You stuck close to your tiny group of friends, but even then, you stayed on the quiet side. Though you loved them, you felt the most at peace when you were in your room. Alone and worry free. When you were alone, you didn’t have to focus on what you were saying or what others thought, it was just you and your thoughts. Just how you liked it.

There was one person, however, who did notice you. The only thing is, you didn’t know who that was. You never expected secret admirers to be a real thing, seeing them in movies and reading about such things. But, you had one of your own. You couldn’t wrap your head around the idea of someone liking you, but staying anonymous about it.

A new school day usually means a new note in your locker. New words to think about the rest of the day. They were always sweet, leaving you standing in the hall with heated cheeks and butterflies in your stomach.

It was almost pathetic, the way you had a crush on whoever this was. Because nobody had ever said things like this to you. Complimenting you on small things like what necklace you were wearing or how you did your hair. Using words like ‘pretty’ and ‘beautiful’ to describe you. How could you not fall for that?

You had only told one of your friends, your best friend, about the notes, not wanting to make a big deal out of it around people. She was walking up to your locker like she always did in the mornings, raising her eyebrows up and down suggestively at you.

“Hey! Any notes yet?”

You laughed at her eagerness, “Robin, you know I always get them after Johnson’s class.”

Robin had been your best friend since you started high school. You met in your first period freshman year and had become inseparable ever since. Her band-geek nature complimented your bookworm self perfectly.

“Ohhh right. I forgot this secret admirer of yours has a schedule.”

“I think they’re in that class.”

“You have theories now? Oh my gosh! We are totally gonna find out who this is soon!”

“Robin, stop it! I'm going to class.”

“You know I'm right!” She called as she walked away from you. You actually didn’t know it then, but she really was right about finding out who exactly was leaving you these notes.

You walked into your class and sat in your spot, in the back row. It’s where you sat in every class. The first half of your day went by as normal, taking notes, keeping your head down, and getting as much work done as possible.

Before you knew it, it was lunchtime and you made your way to the cafeteria, spotting Robin at your usual table. Your other two friends weren’t having lunch with you today as they both had clubs to attend, leaving you and your best friend to yourselves.

“How were your morning classes, Robs?” You spoke as you sat down across from her, placing your tray on the table.

“You know, same old, same old. Harrington came into Click’s class late this morning, like always.”

“Bagel and everything?”

“Yes! God, he’s infuriating.”

“I don’t know, I think he seems nice.”

“Nice? Have you seen who he hangs around?”

“Well yeah but when they try to say stuff to me he always stops them. He’s not the same as Tommy H. or Carol.”

She gasped, “no way! You like him!”

“What are you talking about? I’ve barely ever spoken to him. He’s just in some of my classes, is all.”

“Sure it is…”

“Robs, stop! Can we just talk about something else?”

She changed the subject right away. You loved that about Robin. How she knew when to stop teasing or prodding and to drop something. She was your best friend for a reason, after all.

Time went by quickly as you chatted away, and as you finished up your food, the bell rang signaling the end of lunch.

“You better tell me what the note says today!” Robin said as you put your trays away.

“Yeah, yeah. Bye, Robin.”

Your next class was with Mrs. Johnson. Science. It wasn’t your favorite class, but it wasn’t your least favorite either. But, you always looked forward to it being over and finding a note in your locker. They always made your day better, no matter what.

You didn’t know what you were doing in class today, but Mrs. Johnson had mentioned something about a project. As you sat down in your usual seat, you glanced at the board. Written in big letters, it said, ‘partner projects’ and you wanted to hide under your desk then and there. You wished Robin was in this class, that way you wouldn’t even have to worry.

Right when the bell rang to announce the beginning of the class, Steve Harrington came in looking a little out of breath, like he was trying to beat the bell. As he took his seat, and you watched, Mrs. Johnson started talking about the project.

“This time you guys will not be choosing your partners, I will be doing that for you. I want to mix things up and force you to interact with each other, and no, I won’t change my mind about it.”

You weren’t opposed to her choosing. If she didn’t find a partner for you, you’d just end up working by yourself like usual. Maybe this way you could get out of your shell, just a little.

Mrs. Johnson was calling out names in pairs, and you watched your classmates looking around at their partners with small smiles, some fake, some shy, some happy with the outcome of their group. Then, she was calling your name.

“Y/n, you’ll be with Steve…”

She kept reading names but you weren’t focusing on that. Partnered with Steve Harrington? You were done for. He was always kind to you, defending you when his friends were being jerks—which they always were. You couldn’t help but feel nervous around him, he was sweet and so pretty. So what if you had a (not so) small crush on him? Nothing would ever happen anyways.

When Steve heard your names called together, he was beaming. He knew you were shy by nature, that you didn’t really talk to people you didn’t know, but he was hoping to become someone you’d talk to. Someone who could get you to open up and be around without worrying. Ever since he noticed you reading by yourself during free period, he knew he wanted to know you. To be known, really known, by you.

He smiled at you and gathered his things, moving over to the now empty desk next to yours and pushing it so the two tables were together. You gave him a shy smile in return, tucking your hair behind your ears just for something to do with your hands.

“Hi Steve.” You spoke quietly, so quiet he almost didn’t hear you, but he was so glad he did. He thought you were so cute, and he could tell you were trying. This was going to be the best project ever.

“Hi back!”

You smiled at him, glad he was talking to you in this soft way that made you feel welcome. Like he really wanted to talk to you.

“So, listen y/n, I’m not the best at science, but I swear I’ll try my best. You might have to help me along the way, though.”

“That’s okay. What are partners for, right?”

“This is gonna be great, I know it! You and me, we’re gonna make a great team. Unstoppable even.”

Before you could reply, Mrs. Johnson was beginning to give instructions for the project, and you started taking notes so you wouldn’t forget anything. Steve was listening, but his eyes were on you and the way you leaned closer to your paper when you wrote. The way your tongue poked out between your lips the tiniest bit in focus.

When the instructions were over with, the class got to work. Mostly, though, people would just talk amongst each other, leaving the work for later.

“I was thinking maybe you could come over today after school? Get a head start on this project?”

You wanted to say yes right away. Of course you wanted to. But you were nervous. Alone with none other than Steve Harrington, what a trip that would be.

“Are you sure? Your parents wouldn’t mind?”

“Don’t really have to worry about them, um, they aren’t around much so. It’s basically my house. But hey, if you’d rather meet up at the library that works too.”

He knew you were a nervous person, shy by nature, and he didn’t want to scare you off. No, that was the last thing he wanted to do. So, he offered a middle ground. One you appreciated so much.

“That’d be great, Steve. I don’t have a car, though.”

“That’s alright! I can drive you. We can meet up in the parking lot. Is that okay?”

More than okay. He was so sweet to you, you didn’t understand why on earth he was friends with people like Tommy and Carol. They didn’t deserve a friend like him.

“That’s really nice of you.”

“It’s no problem at all, I swear.”

“Okay. Yeah, I’ll meet you then.”

“Perfect! It’s gonna be great, I’m telling you.”

Then, the bell was ringing. You always took a bit more time than everyone else to get out of class; you had to put your things away the same way every time. You also liked waiting a bit before walking to your locker and then your next class, waiting until the halls were a bit emptier.

As you made your way to your locker, your stomach was fluttering. Excited to see what your special note would say today. Excited about seeing that special handwriting and that special sign off with a small heart. Every single time.

You unlocked your locker and spotted the paper right away. It was always the same kind of paper, lined and slightly crumpled from being shoved into your locker. You smiled softly at the sight of it, looking around before reaching in and reading it.

‘You look pretty today. You do every day, but I think today is extra special! -S <3’

You always assumed the ‘S’ stood for ‘secret admirer,’ because that just made sense. As you read the note and saw the heart drawn the same way it always was, you felt your cheeks heating up, your head ducking down bashfully. You felt silly for liking these notes so much, for keeping them all in a small pile at the back of your locker. Like they were items that you’d always need.

You didn’t notice Steve looking at you, but he was. He liked to see your reactions to the small notes he left you. He had a crush on you for ages, but could see you were someone who had to warm up to others. In an attempt not to scare you away, he decided that starting with notes was a great way to go. It was convenient that his first initial was also what was at the front of the term ‘secret admirer.’ He really lucked out on that one.

He loved seeing you read his notes, seeing the way you’d blush at his words. Even if you didn’t know they were his, you would at some point. He felt so special every time you tucked away the notes into your locker rather than tossing it in the trash. Now that you were partners and were meeting up after school, he had a real chance to tell you the truth. But he couldn’t lie, he was nervous too.

Would you think he was creepy for writing to you? For being anonymous and acting as if he was innocent in the matter? Well, it was too late now. He was already in too deep. Caught up in you and who you were. A sweet person with a gentle soul who deserved to know how pretty and beautiful she was.

Once the next bell rang, you closed your locker and made your way to your next class. Steve did the same.

Your next class was with Robin, so you had the chance to freak out and force her to listen to you. You sat down in your seat next to hers, and she wasted no time.

“So what did it say today?”

“Shhh! Robin! Um just that I looked pretty, like more than usual.”

“Awww that’s cute! I can see you trying not to smile thinking about it!”

“Anyways. I’m meeting Steve after school because we’re science partners and I’m kinda freaking out and I need you to tell me it’ll be fine.”

“No way! Steve Harrington? Oh this is something straight out of a rom com. Shy girl partnered with super popular guy.”

“Robs! Not helping!”

“Sorry, okay. Listen it’ll be fine, you’re gonna talk to him and like you said, he’s nice to you! Nothing to freak out about.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” You weren’t actually convinced, but class was starting and you were forced to stop chatting and pay attention.

The rest of the day, you and Steve were both looking forward to meeting at the library, even if it was for science class. The nerves and jitters as well as excitement and giddy feelings were all mutual. But, neither of you knew that.

The end of the day came and you quickly made your way to the parking lot, not wanting to make Steve wait for you too long. When you got outside, you saw him leaning against his car door, talking to none other than Tommy and Carol. Great.

You walked up to Steve’s car, keeping your head down and trying your best to avoid the gazes of Steve’s friends. Unfortunately, that didn’t work.

“Look who it is! Are you lost?” Tommy faked concern, making you feel so out of place you wanted to shrink back into the ground.

“She must be, she can’t even speak!” Carol added on.

“Guys, seriously? Why do you always have to be such assholes?” Steve was quick to defend you, like he always did, but his words were harsher this time. More firm in his will to get them to stop.

“Geez, you’ve gotten boring, Harrington.”

With that, they walked away, leaving you and Steve alone standing by his car. He unlocked it and walked over to the passenger side, opening the door for you and ushering you in. A gentleman, really. He jogged around to the driver’s side and got in. Starting the car and driving away. It was silent for a bit, but Steve eventually spoke up.

“I’m really sorry about them. I don’t even know why I hang out with them, honestly. But don’t listen to them, okay? I'm glad we’re partners.”

“It’s okay. Um, thanks for defending me.”

“It’s not okay! I guess I only really hang around them ‘cause I don’t have other friends. I don’t even like them, really. They’re so mean.”

“You could hang out with me. I mean, only if you want to.”

You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth. Why would he want to hang out with you of all people? You really just embarrassed yourself not even five minutes into the drive.

“I might take you up on that, actually.”

Oh. Wow. Maybe that was a good thing to say after all. You couldn’t really believe that he’d actually want to be around you without being obligated. But he sounded genuine, and glad. Like the offer really meant a lot to him. It did, but you didn’t know that for sure.

“Okay, cool.” You didn’t have a better reply, too shocked and excited by his acceptance of you offer.

“Yeah, cool.”

The rest of the car ride went by quietly, your leg bouncing up and down anxiously, gazing out the window to try and calm your mind. You didn’t know how to talk to him. Scared you��d say something weird or dumb and he’d stop being so nice to you. It was irrational, you knew that, but you couldn’t help your thoughts.

Steve was focusing on the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel tighter than usual because of his nerves. He wanted you to like him so badly. He was trying his best to be calm and collected around you, when in reality, he couldn’t think straight. Your perfume was filling his senses, sweet just like you.

Next thing you knew you were at the library, Steve pulling in and parking the car. You were excited to go inside, to start the project. Mostly because it gave you something to talk about, a subject you didn’t have to overthink. You were still nervous though. Because this was Steve Harrington, local heartthrob and the prettiest boy you’d ever seen. No matter how sweet he was to you, you couldn’t help but feel flustered around him.

He shut the car off and got out, jogging around to your side so he could open the door for you once again. You smiled at his action, his eagerness to be a classic gentleman around you. It was really, really cute.

As you got out of the car, he grabbed your bags from the backseat. You tried to grab yours from him but he pulled it away from you, shaking his head with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Nope, I got the bags. Keep walking!”

You giggled at him, and he wanted to make you do it again. To hear the sound over and over because it was so light, so airy. Like the best kind of cotton candy, sweet and pink and amazing every time.

Just like he did with the car, he opened the door to the library for you, even while holding both bags. “After you, m’lady.”

“Why thank you!” You walked into the library with a smile on your face. Why’d he have to be so nice? This crush you had on him was not going to end well and you knew it. But, you couldn’t help it.

“Y/n! Hi sweetie! And who’s this?” The librarian greeted you, excited to see one of her favorite customers.

“Hi. Um, this is Steve.”

“Hi! Nice to meet you. We’re doing a science project.” Steve spoke brightly, like he had known her for longer than thirty seconds. It was impressive, the way he could be so bright around a total stranger. You think maybe he could help you be that way, too.

“I see. You kids have fun with that! Won’t even know I’m here.”

Steve was walking ahead of you, and the librarian gave you a thumbs up when he wasn’t looking, like she knew something you didn’t. You rolled your eyes playfully and caught up to Steve. The two of you sat at a table close to the window, light seeping in and casting shadows across your faces.

“So what do you wanna do first?”

He was letting you take the lead, knowing that you liked to do things a certain way and not wanting to disrupt that for you. The last thing he wanted to do was mess up your routine. He was attentive like that. All of his observing you fondly has taught him plenty.

“Um, we could look at the outline, maybe?”

“Sure thing, boss!”

“Boss?”

“Oh yeah. You’re definitely in charge here.”

“Me?” You don’t know why that surprised you so much. You suppose it could be because you’re used to being talked over in group settings. But he somehow knew that you liked to take the lead with schoolwork, even if it was in your own subdued and quiet way.

“C’mon let’s get started! Get our science on!”

“You sound really excited about doing science, Steve.”

“Correction, I’m excited to do science with you. I told you, we’re gonna make a great team.”

He had a way of saying things that made them feel real, genuine. A way of talking that left you with heated cheeks constantly and words imprinted in your head. You thought about your secret admirer and their words. You felt similar about them and Steve. Both of them gave you the same feeling, and you didn’t know what to make of that. There was absolutely no way it was Steve. Right?

Robin was going to have a field day with this.

The project carried on smoothly, conversation flowing along with it. You and Steve ended up getting a lot done, and you were happy that he was able to focus on the work and keep up his playful demeanor at the same time.

Hours sped by as you worked, never even glancing at the clock because you didn’t feel the need to. You didn’t even want to go home, you wanted to stay there in the secluded library with Steve forever. It was peaceful, and it was calm. It was a blooming friendship and an ever-growing crush. Small smiles and shared laughs, a brush of hands and clammy palms.

Before you knew it, it was time for you to get home, finally checking your watch and gasping at the time.

“Shit, I gotta get home.”

“She cusses!” He felt like you were letting go around him, like you were becoming more comfortable in his company. It was all he ever wanted, and he hoped that one day he’d get you to be completely yourself with him. For the first time, he really felt like it was possible.

“My mom’s gonna kill me if I’m late.” You were packing your things as quickly as possible, trying to do the math in your head of how long your walk would take. Figuring out what excuse you’d give your mom.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll drive you home, no problem. Breathe.” He could see the wheels turning in your head, the panic growing in your chest at the thought of being late. He wanted nothing more than to bring you peace.

“You sure?”

“Of course I am. Like I said, my parents aren’t even home so.. I can be as late as I want. C’mon.”

You didn’t have time to reply before he was walking out of the library, waving goodbye at the librarian and holding the door open for you once again. You rushed over to his car and got in, hands shaking slightly in your lap. You hated being late, and you hated it when your mom was mad.

Steve started to drive, following your quiet directions to your house. He noticed your hands shaking in your lap, and reached over with one of his to hold them. He didn’t know what brought him to do that, to hold your hands in his. But he was glad he did it, because you grasped his hand in one of yours tightly.

You were holding Steve’s hand. What the hell was happening? This was something you were going to think about later. But, right now you were too focused on getting home before your curfew to concentrate on how his hand felt in yours. On the way he wordlessly let you grip his hand because he knew it would help. Why was he so kind to you? Of all people, he decided to be at his softest when you were with him, like his ‘King Steve’ persona—that really wasn’t him at all—melted away.

He pulled over on the street next to your house, telling you softly you’d arrived.

“Thank you so much, Steve. Sorry for, um, freaking out.”

“No worries. Happens to us all. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah. Bye, Steve.”

Then, you got out of the car, running up to your door and going inside. Luckily, you had a minute to spare before your curfew was up, and you let out a breath of relief before going up to your room and collapsing on the bed.

Steve waited by the curb to make sure you got in okay, waiting until your bedroom light turned on before pulling away and heading back home to a lonely, empty house. He found himself wishing you were still with him.

When he got home he couldn’t stop his mind from drifting to you. To your eyes and how they crinkled just slightly in the corners when you smiled. To your laugh and how it felt like a reward every time he got one out of you. To all things you.

For once he wasn’t thinking about how empty his house was or the constant lack of his parents being around. He wasn’t concerned about his asshole friends or what people at school thought of him.

He was only thinking about you.

The next day at school, Steve was completely unfocused—more so than usual. He was too busy looking forward to Johnson’s class because he would get to see you. How pathetic is that? He couldn’t even listen in any class because of how he felt about you.

You weren’t much different than him. You still took your notes, but you found yourself zoning out writing mid-sentence, ending up with messy letters and crooked lines. You barely spoke a word during lunch, mind wandering to how your next class was going to go. Robin took notice, but she decided she’d interrogate you during your shared class.

You ate your food slowly, hoping the time would move quicker if you kept yourself occupied. You were waiting impatiently for the bell to ring, to go to your stupid science crush and see the boy you had a stupid crush on.

Your hopes were answered, as if the bell could read your thoughts. The loud ring cut through the cafeteria and you shot out of your seat and headed to class. There was an added pep in your step, your pace faster than usual. It was crazy, how you wanted to get to class for the sole purpose of seeing Steve.

As you walked in, you noticed that he was already sitting at the desk next to yours. Steve perked up when you came in, smiling brightly at you and waving. You have a small wave back, making your way to the back of the class and sitting down.

“Hi! I hope it’s not weird I’m sitting here. Figured it’d be easier since we’re partners and all.” He sounded nervous, which was surprising to you. You never imagined Steve Harrington as one to get nervous. Certainly not around you.

“It’s not weird at all, Steve.”

“Okay, great.”

Then it was quiet between you two. You had felt comfort in silence many times, but this was different. It was full of nerves and overthinking. For once, you wanted to speak up first.

“Thanks again for driving me last night.”

“No sweat. Did I get you home on time?”

“Had a minute to spare.”

“See! Perfect team.”

You gave him one of your small laughs at that, and he couldn’t stop looking at you. Not when the class bell rang and you turned away to get your stuff. Not when your teacher started talking to the class. He never thought he would feel this way about another person; like he couldn’t even take his eyes off of her or else she’d disappear. But he felt that way, in that moment, with you.

He was snapped out of it when you brought up the project now that Mrs. Johnson was done talking.

“So, do you wanna work after school again today?”

“What? Oh! Yeah, sure.”

“Um. I was thinking maybe you could just come to my house, that way we don’t have to worry about me being late again. It’s okay if you don’t want to, though.”

“Sounds great, y/n. I’ll drive us, okay?”

“Okay,” you’d never had anyone over to your house except Robin, and you have no idea why you decided to invite Steve. But, you didn’t regret it. Even though having him in your room would be new, personal even, you felt like it would be okay. He’d never done anything to make you think otherwise.

Steve was excited at the idea of getting to go to your house, to see you in your environment where you’re comfortable. He felt like he’d been invited to tea with the queen or something, with how special it was to him.

Steve moved his desk right next to yours again, and you guys got to work after that, trying to stay focused even when your foot would brush his ankle. Even when he would nudge you playfully like friends do. Even when you both just wanted the school day to be over so you could be in his car together again.

Time slipped away yet again, like when you were with Steve the concept didn’t even exist. No minutes, no seconds, no hours. Just you and him. Class ended, and Steve got up, leaving you with a quick ‘see you later!’ before quickly walking out. You took your time to pack up as usual, then went to your locker.

You had forgotten all about the notes you’d been receiving until you opened your locker and found another one. Your mind had been so full of Steve that you didn’t even think of your secret admirer. You still couldn’t help the smile that overcame your features at the sight of the familiar paper and handwriting, though.

‘I think I’m running out of words to describe you. There aren’t enough in the world for that. -S <3’

You don’t know exactly why, but this one felt more personal than the other notes. It felt like maybe you knew this person more than you thought you did. You quickly put the note in the stack with the others and made your way to your next class. You needed to spill to Robin.

You took your seat next to her and sighed, loud enough that she took notice.

“What’s up with you?”

“I kinda sorta invited Steve to my house and I think I kinda sorta have a really huge crush on him.” You spoke fast, partly so it would be harder for Robin to understand you and partly because you just had to get it out.

“You did what? And, duh. I know that.”

“He’s driving us both to my place after school.”

“Oh you have it so bad! What about your secret admirer?”

“Well today I didn’t even think of them until I saw the note, which was super cute, but still. I don’t know. What if they remain a secret forever?”

“I guess that’s a good point. Moving on is good, but Steve? Seriously?” She started faux gagging, expressing her dislike for the boy.

“Stop it! You don’t know him. He’s not the same as his friends.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Robs, have you ever seen him being the one to be an ass? I know he doesn’t always stop them, but he does now. He’s different.” You meant it. He was different from what everyone made him out to be. He was more than just some womanizer—he wasn’t even going on dates anymore—and he wasn’t a bully. He was a good person, and you wanted people to know that.

“Okay, okay. So your house, huh? That’s a big step for you.”

“I know it is. I trust him.”

“This is crazy.”

You left it at that, not wanting to get your hopes up for anything and certainly not wanting Robin to make you feel some kind of way about the whole situation.

Class started and ended in a blur. Your head kept down, pencil held tightly in your grasp. Leg bouncing and eyes flickering over to the clock every few minutes. The rest of the day went the same way, and you were impatiently waiting for it to be over.

When the end of the day came, however, you started to feel nervous. Steve was going to be in your house, in your room. You never thought a simple science project would bring so much confusion into your life, but it did. You were stuck sorting your feelings for Steve, for your secret admirer. Facing many of your usual fears—though they didn’t feel so scary where Steve was involved.

You made your way to the parking lot like you had the day before. Luckily, this time, there was no Tommy or Carol in sight. Just Steve leaning against the car kicking pebbles with his feet while waiting for you. When he saw you, he quickly walked to the passenger door, opening it for you like he had been doing every time. He then got in his seat, starting the car and driving towards your house.

“I think I remember the way, but you might need to remind me of some things.”

“That’s okay. Thanks for always opening the door for me. A true gentleman.”

“That’s how you treat a sweet lady like you.”

“You have a way with words, Steve.”

“Tell me about it.” He thought of the notes he wrote to you, and if you thought those words were good, too. If you would still act the same around him if you knew he was the one leaving them in your locker every day. He really hoped you would.

“It’s this street here.” You reminded him of where to turn to make it to your house, and he nodded along, turning on his signal and following your directions.

He pulled into your driveway, which happened to be empty, and turned off the car.

“I’ll get your door.” He then got out and walked around to your side of the car, opening the door and letting you out once again. The routine was perfected at this point, and you were happy to let him do it. Happy to oblige. You don’t think you could deny him anyways.

He followed you up the driveway and watched as you got your spare key and unlocked the door, putting the key back before guiding him inside.

“My mom’s working late today, so it’s just us.”

“No problem.” He noticed you fail to mention your dad on many occasions, but he didn’t want to pry, so he left that subject alone.

“We can go up to my room?”

He nodded, “lead the way.”

You did. Walking up the stairs with Steve on your heels. You turned into the hallway, then the doorway of your room. You set your backpack on the ground by the foot of your bed and turned around to face Steve.

“Here it is.”

“It’s really nice.” He was being honest. It felt very you. The cream floral sheets on your bed, the window seat that had a pile of pillows in it, your bookshelf that was full to the brim, even the way your desk was organized.

“Thanks… so, do you wanna do the project?”

“Oh. Yeah, yes. We should do that.”

You sat down on the floor by your bag, and Steve did the same. Backs resting against the end of your bed, legs stretched out and ankles crossed. Bringing up the project was a way to keep things safe, to avoid slipping up and spilling out your feelings. How you had the biggest crush on him, how you could see yourself loving him. Hell, you were almost there already.

Steve hated this damn science project. He just wanted to be around you without homework haunting him. But, he guesses he should also be grateful for it. You wouldn’t have even been in this room together had you not been partners. He just wanted to get it done so he could tell you the truth. That the notes in your locker were all from him, and that he felt more for you than just admiration. So much more.

You were unpacking your things, getting ready to start working. Steve grabbed his stuff too, even though his attention was elsewhere. He really was trying to focus, but you being right next to him didn’t help. Still, he pretended to be unaffected, to just be your partner for science when he wanted to be your partner in life.

“How much do we have left?” He checked in with you, trying to keep his head in the game.

“Not too much. We could probably finish today, actually.” You didn’t sound excited about being done with your project so soon. You just wanted to keep hanging out with Steve, but you were too scared to ask him to. The project was your safety net, and it was disappearing.

“That’s great! I keep on telling you, we’re a great team!”

“Guess you were right about that.”

“Oh, for sure. So, should we get to it?”

“Yeah, we should.”

So you did, reading over what you had done so far and making some notes as you went along. He really was right about the two of you working well together, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that would translate into a romantic relationship, too. It was silly, but that’s where your mind wandered before you snapped out of it and kept working.

Steve found it impressive, the way you were so dedicated to getting your work done. He was thankful for it as well, because there was no way he could be the one to keep the project going. You were silent as you worked, and he supposed that helped him. He couldn’t be distracted by your voice or the way your lips moved when you spoke.

Time swept by yet again, and you and Steve had both finished your parts of the project.

He pushed his papers towards you, “do you wanna read over it? Make sure it’s all there?”

You grabbed his pages and gave him yours in exchange, “sure, you do the same.”

“I’m sure yours is perfect, you genius.”

“I’m no genius, Steve. Just read it.”

“Sure thing.. genius.”

You huffed out a laugh, you didn’t know how he managed to make you laugh, to raise your spirits with just a few words. Something about him just made you smile, his aura was bright that way, and you thought if you could see it, it would be yellow.

Beaming sunshine, vibrant flowers, the taste of lemonade on a hot summer day. Yellow.

You both finished reading, smiling at each other in success and relief because it was done.

“It’s great, Steve. I’m kind of surprised.”

“You underestimate me, babe.”

“Babe?”

He didn’t even realize he said it, it sort of just slipped out. He wasn’t even mad about it, though. Because it made you all shy and flustered and it was so fucking cute. It made you react the same way you did to his notes, but this time you knew it was him. He loved it.

“You don’t like it?”

“No, I do, actually. Um, anyways. How was mine?”

“Perfect. You’re really great.”

“Thank you, Steve. I think you’re great too.”

“Yeah?”

Your faces were inches apart now, and neither of you had any idea how that happened. You had simply gravitated towards each other during your conversation. Eyes flicking down to lips, bodies turning towards each other, legs brushing ever so slightly.

You felt the air around you change, grow thicker, “yeah.”

He reached his hand out, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear gently before softly pressing his palm against your cheek. His thumb brushing back and forth on your skin, his head leaning even closer, his eyes moving all over your face.

“Can I kiss you, y/n?” He was looking at your lips as he spoke, but looked back into your eyes to search for a response.

You couldn’t believe this was happening, that he actually wanted to kiss you. That his attention was fully on you and his hand was on your face. Holding you like you were the most precious thing in the world.

“Yes, please.” It came out quietly, but you know he heard it because he was leaning in.

Then, he was kissing you. He was almost shy at first, but when you pushed yourself into him further, when you grabbed his shoulder to keep him close to you, he went in.

He kissed you with emotion, something you’d never felt before. It was like he was trying to say something with this kiss, only, you didn’t know what. He was using the hand on your face to tilt your head the way he wanted, moving his other hand to your waist. Holding you felt unreal, it felt right. He’d never had that with another person before.

His hand on your waist left your head spinning, and you wanted, needed, to get closer to him. You straddled him on the floor of your bedroom, never breaking the kiss. His back was against your bed, and his lips were on yours and it all felt like a dream. You grabbed the back of his head with your other hand, tangling your fingers in his hair.

When you situated yourself on his lap, he was in heaven. Steve was so in awe of you and the way you moved and he was so thankful that he was the one kissing you in this moment. He now had both of his hands on your waist, placing them under your sweater to feel your skin on his. This was insane.

He licked the seam of your lips, getting permission to slip his tongue into your mouth. You opened up for him right away, allowing your tongues to tangle together and it was incredible. You couldn’t help it when you started to move your hips over him. He made you needy in a way you’d never experienced.

His hips bucked up into yours and you gasped into his mouth at the feeling of him. Hard and turned on and it was because of you. You pulled back to breathe and rested your forehead on his. He thought he’d scared you off with his actions, and he squeezed his eyes shut at the thought.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry, babe.”

You grabbed his face in your hands, tilting his head so he was forced to look at you, but he kept his eyes shut, “look at me, Steve.”

He obeyed you. He would do anything you asked him to. His shining brown eyes meeting yours. You got lost in them, swirls of honey and chocolate. Perfect, and sweet, and melting just for you.

“I want this. And I want you. It’s okay.”

“You’re sure?” He was breathing so heavily, he never imagined that this is where a science project would get him, and he decided he’d thank Mrs. Johnson later for putting you together.

You nodded and he could feel the movement as your heads were still together, and then you were kissing again. It was like you hadn’t even stopped, finding the rhythm right away, two magnets with opposite attractions. Stuck together.

Your hips were moving faster over him, chasing the friction leaving your panties a mess. He bucked into you again, using his hands on your waist to keep you sliding over him. Before you could go any further, though, he was pulling away.

“Get on the bed, angel.”

Yet another term of endearment that had slipped past his lips. He didn’t overthink it this time, though. You really were an angel and he wanted you all to himself. He knew it was a bad idea to do this when he hadn’t been fully honest with you yet, but he couldn’t help himself. He really couldn’t.

You listened to him, to his commanding yet soft tone of order. Lifting yourself off of him and climbing onto the bed, leaning back on your elbows to watch him get up. He stood and peeled his shirt off, and your eyes drifted over him. Over the soft ridges and muscles that moved as he did. He crawled onto the bed, hovering over you before placing his lips back on yours.

You moaned into his mouth, needing more from him. He could tell, and he moved his kisses down to your jaw, then your neck. He decided not to leave any marks this time, he wanted you to be fully his when he did that. His hands slid up your thighs, underneath your skirt and he pulled away to look at you writhing underneath him.

“Think we need to make this even. Y’know cause you still have your shirt on and mine’s off.”

“Okay.” You nodded along, fully immersed in what he was saying and his voice and the soft dominance he provided. The comfort you felt with him. You sat up and took off your sweater, revealing the lacy bra you had underneath.

“Fuck. You always hiding stuff like this under your clothes, angel?”

“Only when we hang out.”

“It’s for me?”

“Uh huh.”

That was probably the best thing he’d ever heard. That you thought about him this way, and even wore underwear that was for him. Though, he thinks he’d think you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen no matter what you were in. So there’s that.

He continued to kiss his way down your neck, and even further without your sweater in the way. He placed pecks along your chest, over the swell of your breasts and down your stomach. His hands were running up and down your body, never settling in one place for too long. He looked up at you when his mouth was just above the waistband of your skirt.

“Can I take this off?”

“Please.” Your hips were swaying slightly, searching for any kind of relief.

He undid the zipper of your skirt and pushed himself up, giving himself room to pull it down and throw it to the floor. He spotted the wet spot on your underwear and groaned at the sight.

“You’re really wet. Can see it through your clothes, angel. Who’s that for, huh?” His hand was pressed over you now, fingers pushing against the wetness that had gathered on your underwear.

You whimpered at the slightest touch, “Steve, take them off, please.”

“Tell me what you want me to do.”

“Shit. Want your mouth.”

“I’ll give it to you, babe. Lay back and feel it.”

He slid your parties down slowly, almost painfully. He tossed them on the floor where the rest of your clothes were, then he took his time to admire you. You pushed your thighs together, feeling shy and exposed under his intense gaze. But, he pushed them back apart, tutting softly.

“You’re beautiful, y/n. Let me see you.”

You hid your face behind your hands, not used to getting compliments during moments like this. Once again, he used his hands to stop you from hiding, grabbing your wrists and pressing them into the bed next to your head. He was fully leaned over you, forcing you to look right at him.

“Stop hiding from me. I want you, too.” His voice was firm, convincing, but still kind with his words. He wanted to reassure you, to show you that he wasn’t what everyone thought he was. That he was good and he would be even better for you.

He stood up and took his jeans off, opting to let you see the hard outline of him through his boxers. He got back on the bed, kneeling with his legs on either side of yours. He grabbed one of your hands and pressed it against his underwear.

“You feel how hard I am? That’s because of you.”

You palmed him, moving your hand back and forth over his clothed cock and feeling the size, the hard weight of him.

“You’re so big, Steve.”

“Guess I should get you ready for me, huh?”

He slid down your body, until he was laying between your legs, face level with your cunt. He was so turned on right now, seeing how wet you were, how you were ready for him and how you put your trust in him. He’d never take this for granted.

“You’re soaked, angel.”

Then he dove in, licking you fully before focusing on your clit. You moaned as soon as his mouth made contact, hands flying into his hair and pulling on the strands. The action made him moan into you, and you felt it.

“Steve. Holy shit.”

You were grinding yourself against his face now, and he knew you needed more. So, he slid a finger down to your entrance, sliding it in easily and curling it to find the spot that felt best for you.

He pulled away from you to see your face, scrunched in pleasure, mouth parted to let out the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard.

“Tell me what feels good, angel.”

Then he pushed in a second finger, curling it along with the first and when you gasped, he knew he’d found the spot. He worked hard to continue to hit that spot.

“Right there, Steve. Oh my god.”

“Gonna come for me?”

“Yes, yes. Please don’t stop.”

He didn’t, instead, he moved his face back down to suck at your clit, drawing your orgasm out of you. He knew you were there when you arched your back, body tensing and cunt fluttering around his fingers. He moved his face away again, but kept moving his fingers to help you come down.

“That’s it, angel. Good girl. I got you.”

You were a mess, moaning his name over and over and pulling his hair until you came down. You were breathing heavily, eyes lulling open to look down at Steve.

“Wow.”

“Good?”

“Amazing. Come here.”

You pulled him back to your mouth by his hair, kissing him and whimpering when you tasted yourself on his mouth, on his tongue. You moved your hands down to his boxers, pushing at the waistband to get them off, whining when he wouldn’t help you.

“Someone’s needy. Don’t worry, we’ll get there.”

“Steve. Take ‘em off.”

“Only if you take off your bra. It’s only fair.”

Instead of replying, you moved your hands to the clasp of your bra, undoing it and sliding it off all while looking into his eyes. When you threw your bra aside, his eyes wandered down to your tits.

“Absolutely gorgeous. Perfect.”

He started to cup your boobs in his hands, but you pulled them away, motioning towards his boxers.

“No touching until you take those off, Steve.”

“Bossy. You’re hot.”

Then he took off his underwear, cock bouncing out hard and red at the tip. You reached your hand down to jerk him off, swiping your thumb across the tip to gather the pre-cum there and bringing it to your mouth, humming at the taste of him.

“Can I fuck you, angel?”

“Yeah, please. I need it.”

He moved off of you to find his jeans on the floor, grabbing his wallet out of the pocket and finding the condom he kept there. Just in case. He watched you watching him as he slipped it on, eyes hungry and dark.

“Keeping a condom in your wallet, Steve? That’s presumptuous of you.”

“Yeah well, I was right, so you should be thanking me, really.”

“Idiot. Get over here.”

Once again, he was on the bed hovering over you, elbows holding him up on either side of your head, dipping down to kiss you. Languid and slow. You reached down and guided his cock along your folds, coating it in your wetness before pushing his tip into you. He took the hint and did the rest, grabbing your hands and pressing them into the bed with his.

He pushed in slowly, gently, giving you time to adjust and feel him. When he was almost fully in, when your brows pinched together at the burn of the stretch, he kissed you. Distracting you from the slight pain, pushing himself the rest of the way in. He stilled, giving you some time to adjust until you were squirming.

“Move, Steve. Please.”

He did as you asked, starting off slowly, building up his rhythm to let you get used to it. He was so attentive with his actions, so invested in making sure that you were okay and you didn’t know that sex could be like this. Could feel this good and this emotional.

“You feel so good, angel. So so good. Made for me.”

“All for you, baby.”

“Fuck.”

Then he sped up, moving so one of his arms was cradling your head, the other sliding down to press against your stomach, wanting to feel himself deep in you.

“Oh my fucking god. That’s so good.”

“Yeah? Can you feel me in your tummy, babe?”

“Yes, fuck.”

Your arms were wrapped around his neck now, a hand in his hair again and the other scratching against his back. He moaned at the spike of pain of your nails against his skin, knowing he’d have angry red marks from it but he didn’t care. In fact, he welcomed the reminder.

His head was buried in your neck, breaths and moans melting against your skin. “Fuck. You’re incredible.”

“I’m so close, Steve. Please.”

“Gonna give me another? I’ve got you.”

He moved the hand that was on your stomach down to your clit, rubbing circles to get you there. It worked, because you were squeezing him tight, like a fist. He came at the same time as you, pushing himself as deep as he could and moaning. Hips stilled and pushed tight against your pelvis. You whimpered, mouth agape as you finished.

Steve collapsed on top of you as you both came down. You were petting his hair, running your fingers through it softly, caressing. One of his hands was still holding your head, cradling it close to him, the other running up and down your side soothingly.

He rolled off of you and pulled out after a couple minutes, not wanting to fall asleep on top of you.

“I should go clean up,” your voice was quiet, raw from all the noises you’d made. You were so grateful your mom wasn’t home.

“Let me help you.”

“Okay.”

He got up first, then picked you up and carried you into your bathroom which was attached to your room, setting you on the toilet so you could pee. While you did, he grabbed a washcloth and ran it under the sink, disposing of the condom and cleaning himself off. When you were done and were washing your hands, he ran the washcloth between your legs, pressing a kiss on your bare shoulder when you whimpered because of how sensitive you were.

“I know, It’s okay. You did good, babe.”

“Thank you, Steve.”

Once your hands were dry, he picked you up again and placed you on your bed. Under the covers this time, and you cuddled up quickly, eyes falling shut. He Grabbed his boxers off the floor and slid them on. He walked back over to you and kissed your forehead.

“I should go before your mom gets home, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Mhm. Bye, Steve.”

“Bye, angel.”

He put on the rest of his clothes and when he turned to you to say bye again, you were fast asleep in the bed. He smiled softly at the sight and then left a small note on your table. Walking over to the door and closing it softly behind him.

The whole drive home all he thought about was you and what he was going to do. He decided he’d tell you everything tomorrow. He wouldn’t let it go too far. He didn’t let it go too far already, did he?

You woke up in the middle of the night, peeking at your alarm clock and groaning at what time it was. You got up to put your discarded clothes in your hamper, put on pyjamas, and brush your teeth. Once that was done, you peeked out your window to see if your mom was home. She wasn’t. You guessed it really was a late shift.

You saw the small note Steve left you then, sitting pretty on your bedside table.

‘I want to see you again, here’s my number! Call me whenever, and see you tomorrow -Steve <3’

The heart looked familiar, so did the handwriting, and the paper. No way.

No way.

You knew why you felt like you’d seen it all before. It was him, your secret admirer. He never told you and you just had sex with him. Holy shit.

You went back to your bed and stared at the ceiling, deciding that first thing tomorrow you’d confront him about it. You’d learn the truth and you’d see how he felt about you. If this was real or if it was just some stupid fantasy to him.

You fell asleep hours later, after overthinking yourself to exhaustion.

The next morning, once you got to school, you went straight to your locker, grabbing the stack of notes before walking back outside. You sat yourself on the bench by the parking lot, deciding you’d sit there and wait for Steve to arrive, even if it meant missing first period. You needed to talk to him, or you’d lose your mind.

Robin spotted you sitting there on her way in, walking over to you with a confused look on her face.

“What are you doing?”

“Waiting for Steve. I need to talk to him.”

She eyed the notes in your hands, connecting the dots, “oh my god. It’s him?”

“I’m pretty sure. We also had sex last night, so.”

“What? You’re joking.”

“Dead serious.”

“Okay. Good luck. I love you, tell me what happens.”

“Love you too, Robs.”

Then, she walked away, leaving you by yourself with your thoughts. You were so confused. Why would Steve decide to leave you anonymous notes? And why wouldn’t he tell you once you were partnered together? Most of all, did he actually like you?

It didn’t feel like long before you saw the BMW pull into its usual spot. Your leg was bouncing up and down, anxious and impatient to learn the full story.

Steve got out of his car and spotted you on the bench, furrowing his brows because he knew first period had already started. Did you skip just for him? He felt like he was missing something, but he was glad to have the opportunity to talk to you, so he walked over. He waved at you with a smile, happy to see you even if it was odd.

“Hi, babe! What are you doing out here?” He took a seat next to you, noticing your avoidance of his gaze and the seriousness of your face.

You held out the notes to him, “did you write these, Steve?”

Shit. He really didn’t want you finding out on your own, he wanted to tell you. “Um, yes. I wanted to tell you today, I swear!”

“Oh my god! Why wouldn’t you tell me before? We had sex, Steve, and you didn’t say anything.”

“I know! I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about the notes then, I was thinking about you. I know this looks really bad but will you please let me explain?”

“I just want to know the truth, Steve. Was this some kind of game to you?” Your voice was small, and shaky, and when you looked up at Steve he watched a tear slip down your cheek. You wiped it away quickly, but he still saw it. It felt like a punch to his gut, he never wanted to make you upset.

“No! I promise. I really really like you, y/n. Like a huge amount. I have for a long time. I could tell you were shy and I thought you’d hate me if I talked to you without knowing you, especially because of how my stupid fucking friends treated you.”

You were really listening to what he was saying, trying your best to give him the benefit of the doubt because you really, really liked him too. You didn’t want it to be a game, but you were so scared that he wasn’t genuine.

“I haven’t hung out with them since we became partners, okay? I don’t want to ever again. I just want to be around you. I wrote those notes because I wanted you to know how I felt about you but I was too fucking scared to tell you it was me. I want to be with you. I want you to be my girlfriend and I don’t want to hide that anymore.”

He was saying all of the right things, everything you wanted to hear. The best part was, you could tell me meant it all, that he really did like you. You thought back to how the notes made you feel, to how much you enjoyed them and the butterflies they gave you.

You realized you weren’t even mad at him. No, you were just insecure and scared. But, you understood. You understood being nervous and scared. How could you fault him for that?

Steve was freaking out, he thought he was about to lose you and he only just got you. He wasn’t going to allow that. Not when you were the best thing that ever walked into his life, when you made him feel safe and secure and wanted.

“Please, please forgive me. Let me make it up to you, I’ll do anything. I really do like you.I’m falling in love with you, okay? I’ve never felt this way before and I don’t want to lose you so please-”

You kissed him, cutting off his nervous rambling so that he would just calm down. So he would know that he wasn’t going to lose you. Not now, not ever.

You pulled away, “Steve. It’s okay. I understand. I just wanted to know. I’m sorry I made you so scared. I’m falling in love with you, too. You know, I’ve had a crush on you for like, ever.”

His whole face lit up at your words, his relief evident in the atmosphere. “Really? So you forgive me?”

You grabbed his hand and held it tightly, giving him some comfort with your touch, “I wasn’t really angry, Steve. I was just scared. I forgive you, I did as soon as you opened your mouth.”

“So you’ll be my girlfriend? You wanna be with me?”

“Yeah, I want to be with you. That okay?”

“Perfect. You’re perfect.”

“We kinda owe Mrs. Johnson for putting us together, don’t we?”

“Like I said, we make a great team.”

You really did, and you felt it now more than ever. Even though people would talk and you’d inevitably fight, you knew you’d get through it with Steve by your side. Everything came together on that bench, like your entire lives lead up to that exact point in time. Because you didn’t know how it could get any better.