#and credits to my amazing friend who gave me the confidence to post this!

[k0juki]

Can you do something with a reader who represents their country at Eurovision and gets along well with Joost and everyone ships them? Maybe smth like Joost comforts us before the performance and during it we can see that he is proud of us and it’s just fluff

YESS!!🙏🙏

Just be yourself

Joost Klein x fem!reader

English is not my first language, so feel free to point out any mistakes or errors! More posts here.

A/n: it's so short I'm so sorry! I didn't have much of inspiration...

Wc: 429

---

This was it, the moment that you were waiting for, but you were nervous about it, how could you not be nervous. At least you had Joost here with you. Nothing else mattered.

But what if you mistake some words? Everyone will start to say things like you can't speak, sing or worse, what if they start to laugh? Luckily Joost saw you and your shaking form of nerves.

He approached you with a reassuring smile and said, "You've got this Y/n," his voice filled with confidence. "Just be yourself, and let your talent shine." He added, kneeling in front of you and took your hands in his, squeezed them for comfort.

His words were like a soothing balm to your frayed nerves, and you nodded, grateful for his encouragement. "Thank you Joost."

With a deep breath, you stood up and stepped onto the stage, the spotlight shining down as you prepared to share your music with the world.

As the music swelled and you began to sing, you felt a wave of emotion wash over you.

The crowd's cheers filled the air, but it was Joost's proud gaze that truly warmed your heart.

With every note, you poured your soul into the performance, pouring out your passion and love for music.

As the final notes faded away, the audience erupted into applause, and you couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. It was a dream come true.

Stepping offstage, you were greeted by Joost's beaming smile and enthusiastic hugs from the rest of the group. "You were amazing!" Joost exclaimed, pulling you into a tight embrace. "I knew you could do it."

The rest of the night was a whirlwind of celebrations and camaraderie, but it was the moments shared with Joost that meant the most. With his unwavering support, you felt like you could conquer the world.

"Thank you again Joost, it really means a lot to me..." you spoke quietly and looked into his ocean blue eyes, he really is beautiful.

"Don't thank me, you would have done the same." He said with a smile that reached his eyes.

You pulled him in another hug and just stood here. He is something else. Kind, friendly and has never ending support for everyone.

As the night drew to a close, you and Joost were surrounded by old and new friends, you couldn't help but feel grateful for everything that this day gave you.

And as the crowd whispered and winked, it was clear that the chemistry between you and Joost hadn't gone unnoticed. Everyone saw these stolen glances.

---

Don't copy or translate my work! Also the picture is not mine! Credit goes to owner!

[highdio]

Pleeease, write your thoughts about the musical lol. I really like your Dio meta posts <3

Just a disclaimer: this is really opinionated but I don't like to drag media for its own sake. There were lots of things to like in the Phantom Blood musical, just ... Dio wasn't one of them. Also, Mamoru Miyano threw himself into the performance he was asked for, so it's hardly his fault. It's just always amazing to me that people feel the need to rewrite Dio into someone else when the way Araki's written him is already perfect, complete and a lot of fun.

So, where to start? Basically, the Phantom Blood musical re-writes Dio, giving him a different personality and different motivations through OOC stage direction along with a bunch of original dialog and scenes. What results is a version of Phantom Blood where "Dio" is just a normal guy without charisma who had a bad childhood and spends most of the story being miserable. Dio as he's written in canon has an uncommon charisma and appeal that's allowed him to remain relevant as one of those 'all-time great' villains. Scene after scene in the musical prove that its creative team either didn't read the manga or just really didn't like Dio.

fwiw Araki wrote Dio as thoroughly fleshed-out, with consistent traits and behaviors and consistent motivations behind his actions. He also left a paper trail of interviews and author's commentaries that develop Dio even more fully beyond the manga. So there's really no excuse for media that treat Dio as some sort of empty vessel waiting to be filled by narrative cliches we already know and expect.

It's annoying too, because, along with its OOC content, the musical is peppered with occasional manga-consistent moments. It's like the musical is camouflaging its Very Bad Take on Dio by having Mamoru Miyano periodically re-enact the canon character's most famous panels. The musical wants simultaneously to take credit for bringing Araki's vision to life on the stage, while at the same time completely undermining its most important element: a capital V "Villain" who, according to Araki, "accepts and embraces his evil nature, and follows his dark path without hesitation." This is the biggest change the musical makes to Dio: musical!Dio has none of the confidence that allows canon Dio him to move so decisively and destructively through the narrative.

Musical Dio is introduced by a scene where he's bullied on his way home, before breaking into a song about how terrible his life is, where "everything is always taken from [him]" ("it's hell …I feel nauseated …[I'm] under a cloudy sky.") The song is alternately tearful and hopeful. "I'm going crazy from being robbed!" he laments and then pollyannaishly muses, "hey, Joestar, can you turn my [cloudy] skies to blue?"

If Dio being introduced as a sad sap and self-described perennial loser hoping for any break sounds attitudinally unfamiliar that's because it is. Araki went in the opposite direction: he started his story by subverting the cliche - wide-eyed poor boy victimized by circumstance leaves his sorrow-filled life hoping for a new start - and instead gave us a kid with surprising, even sinister agency. Dio is not just given a hero's upward narrative arc (something Araki crafted very deliberately), he's introduced improbably in his first scene from a position of control. This fact is important because in the manga it's a position he won't lose until four chapters and nearly 100 pages in, when Jonathan finally fights back. From the time young Dio is introduced - reading a book with his back turned to his bed-ridden father who he's secretly poisoning -

- to the time he's systematically broken down his adoptive brother's spirit by alienating him from his friends, taking Erina's first kiss, and of course kicking his dog, Dio is shown as being in control and on top (Erina drinking the muddy water is the only exception). It's OOC to imagine 12-year old Dio feeling sorry for himself because at the time he's introduced, he's already made a habit of getting what he wants. By the time he sets off for the Joestars after killing his first dad, he's already developed full confidence in his abilities and the inevitability of his rise to riches (something Araki has him explicitly state and then underscores with a panel illustration of a steam train signaling the rise of Modernity).

But the writers and director of the musical don't find this characterization interesting enough or something. So they lose the canon entirely and in its place they invent a version of Dio who's despondent. And they didn't get Araki's steam train memo so they miss the Modernity theme (even though Araki's tied Dio so tightly conceptually to the idea of the Modern that he has him "use a 20th century boxing technique in the 19th century"); instead they double down on class difference being determinative. It never occurs to them that Dio is written specifically by Araki with the freedom to move outside of his social status because he sees it as artificial (the "evil elite" monologue later reveals Dio thinks of the whole social contract thing is arbitrary and voluntary).

Throughout the musical, Dio (although it's not fair to Mamoru Miyano since he isn't responsible for writing this mess, let's use mamoDio from now on because it's easier) seems to idolize the Joestars for what he calls their "beautiful blood." Not "beautiful" because usable calories for the vampire he will become but "beautiful" because noble. The Joestars' noble status and the honor that's apparently behind that status become the shining "star" toward which mud-bound mamoDio flailingly, failingly reaches. I don't need to tell you that in canon Dio doesn't have respect for nobility.

"Mud and stars" is heavy-handedly introduced as a dominant theme of the musical. According to the play, Jonathan, noble and bright, looks to the stars while human Dio, pathetic, conflicted and even confused, can only see life as a mud-soaked prison.

Now, the mud and stars thing was only used in Part 1 as a single text element on a Volume 1 illustration but, in spite of its marginality, it's becomes a liturgical text for some fans looking for an explanation for Dio's actions beyond what Araki gives them in the actual narrative. To this sort of fan, a guy who embraces his inner talent for evil and never had the misfortune of developing a moral compass isn't the right type of villain because he's unapologetic. If the villain doesn't have excuses how can you apologize for him? So they need Dio and by extension Araki to give them a "good enough" reason to accept Dio's ever-escalating atrocities. If the reasons Dio has for doing the things he does lie outside of what's considered good or acceptable, they are simply rejected and new reasons are invented in the hope of making Dio much less objectionable.

Now, like I said earlier, Araki's repeatedly told us in his writings that Dio has an upward narrative trajectory, not a downward, "mud"-bound one. The mud and stars duality fails to describe the narrative journey of the two main characters: both look upward to transcend their circumstances and travel along a shonen manga hero's rising path. (In fact, it's Jonathan who needs a good push to realize his potential, something Dio happily provides). And it's Jonathan, not Dio, who Araki first gives a downward arc, being handed defeat after defeat for those first four chapters before gaining his footing and progressively rising to Dio's challenges. "Mud and stars" isn't just a bad choice of metaphor, it's a misleading one.

Back to the musical, mamoDio is the exact opposite. An air of sadness and insecurity haunts his performance. An original scene where George presents the mud and stars dilemma as a lesson highlights Dio's lack of confidence and the depression that lurks behind it, as Dio bemoans how people doomed to "struggle and die" cannot possibly summon the hope it takes to look up to the stars (he's talking of course about himself).

Likewise, and here's where mamoDio's failure as a character really comes into full relief, seven years after this, when Dio's machinations are revealed and he's about to be arrested, before he uses the stone mask, mamoDio drops to the floor and spends the better part of a musical number in tears, bemoaning his sorry life ("I'm trapped in a prison covered in mud… no matter how hard I struggle I'm crushed…") and his lack of noble blood.

(btw this is after the manga scene where Dio fake cries; here, mamoDio is genuinely distraught).

Contrast this to the actual scene in the manga. His expressions in these panels are memorable because of how assured Araki draws him. Dio's entire world - his poisoning scheme, his grab at what one can assume would have been the entirety of the Joestar estate - is about to end but instead of despairing, he launches into a philosophical soliloquy. His body language is haughty: this isn't mamoDio crawling on the ground and decrying his upbringing and lack of noble blood, instead this is a man who apparently, almost irrationally, perceives himself as noble. When he uses the mask, Dio is smiling widely. Metaphorically speaking, he's looking at the stars.

When mamoDio uses the mask? He's on his knees. He's in tears. On one night he interjects, "Mother…" In short, he's conflicted.

One of these depicts Dio. The other does not.

Now obviously the writers and director of the musical must think making these seismic changes adds something to Dio's character. But (and I feel like this is a theme whenever I write these things) I'd argue it only makes him more basic. It makes him predictable and formulaic, someone we've seen in countless other stories.

(Oh! and did I mention mamoDio repeatedly calls himself "useless"!! Because he does this.)

Now, because mamoDio has no confidence and as a human acts out of desperation, when he becomes a vampire he still isn't Dio. Mamoru tries to make his vampire Dio evil and scary by expending a lot of energy, running about the stage and sticking out his tongue ad nauseum. When you look at how Araki has Dio move physically throughout the manga, it's the opposite of kinetic. Dio is a point of fixity who's charisma draws others toward him (ask me for more on this if you want because there's enough here for its own post).

Now for the worst of the worst: at the very end of the production, after the manga ending that features Jonathan's death and Dio's (presumed) defeat as a head imprisoned in Jonathan's arms, the musical takes an original twist in which, following a finale number featuring most of the cast, mamoDio is lead offstage by Jonathan. You read that right. mamoDio is hunched over, resigned, and Jonathan seems to take on a paternal role. Although the lyrics would have you believe this has something to do with "two fates becoming one," it's clear from the stage direction that any embers of Dio's ambition are being tamed and extinguished as Jonathan takes Dio's grasping hand, subdues him, and leads him docilely into the darkness.

It turns out Dio's vampire arc was just a phase, a hurt and lonely child lashing out and making a mess for attention.

His body language here is obscenely out of character. Consider the following because, as I said in the opening, in spite of what all these re-writes of Dio would have you believe, Araki crafted Dio with specificity and consistency: Araki only draws Dio (with very few exceptions) 1) standing tall, looking down at you; 2) back turned, looking back and down at you; or simply 3) back turned, (performatively?) ignoring you. Dio is never on the ground except when he's knocked down (think, young Jonathan finally fighting back in the Joestar home or, much later, Jotaro stopping time and landing those punches). By constrast, mamoDio has spent an incessant amount of time of the ground, crouching, kneeling,, bowing, hunched down. Who is this guy? So his hunched-down exit in the final moments of the production, literally being led by Jonathan (controlled??), is so amazingly stupid that if I didn't have a gif as proof, you might think I'm just making this stuff up:

There's plenty more to unpack that I won't address here: ghost Dario. The lack of grave-spitting. The complete absence of true joy or leisure expressed by Dio especially during his vampire era: no woman eating her baby, no owlcats, no Poco's sister. No chaise lounge. No roses(!). No fun. Not for Dio. That would be too manga-consistent. That might mean Araki wasn't giving us the appropriate message that bad guys are actually just sad guys.

tl;dr Dio isn't in the Phantom Blood musical. He's replaced by a normal guy who's motivated by a lack of self-esteem and despair that he wasn't born into an upper-class household, or something. He's boring. The result? There can be no Part 3 in this musical's world (and presumably no Parts 4, 5 or 6, no Giorno, no Jolyne, … you get the picture) because mamoDio just gives up. It's a nicely produced little tale about Jonathan Joestar and some random other guy who at some point gets a funny green coat.

[intellectual6666]

I have some things to talk about, which I felt and saw after I got my CBSE 10th results.

Everyone takes credit. Like relatives who for the whole year kept saying, "our children also gave boards, why are they (my parents) acting like it's such a big thing?", "they are showing as if only they have work and they are busy, we are useless na", came to say, "she is our daughter/granddaughter, that's why she excelled in her exams." I do have a lot of respect for them and yes, I love them a lot too and also you can take credits of it, due to their ashirvad I was able to excel in the exams but why act like they are "only" reason I got good marks in it ? I would like to give 50% credits to my parents and the rest to me and my God. There was also a time when my father was not able to give the monthly fees of my school for 3 months, but he managed to keep me in a English medium private school by working his ass off. My mother left her social life, didn't even go to ISKCON (her favourite place) so that she can keep her full attention on me. We went through so much financial issues in 2022 and 2023 (first half) but my parents didn't let my education sacrifice. I, didn't take any tuitions so that I do not put extra burden on them (another reason I didn't take tuition coz I prefer self study more than tuitions). Me, who got so stressed because of my class 10 boards that by the time my exams were near my mental health worsened. I was getting suicidal thoughts and got introduced to new health problems which still haunt me, hypertension and palpitation. But still, I worked hard, my closest friends helped me, my parents helped me and most importantly Krishna ji, Ganesh ji, Radharani ji and Mahadev helped me. My struggle was totally mine and no one fought the war inside me other than me. So before taking the whole credit, atleast for once one should think about the people who really worked hard.

Second, this comparison shit kills one inside. No, I didn't compare myself to anyone as my parents never taught me that nor they ever compared me to anyone. Basically me and my maternal uncle's daughter are really close. And she is quite average in her studies. But trust me she is an amazing dancer, singer and artist. I envy her because of the great acting skills she have. But according to that typical thoughts, her parents always compare her with me and try to demean her, on the thing that she is not much good in studies and I'm comparatively good in it. Her results came out some days ago, as she used to study in an ICSE school and to be honest, she did amazing. Getting such marks is not so easy in ICSE board. Yesterday her mother kept comparing her with me and made her feel insecure and bad. Like why ? What do you get by hurting a child ? Why the actual fuck can't you ever be satisfied with whatever she got ? Praise her, tell her she is amazing, bring some confidence in her instead of making her feel so insecure that she starts to kill her feelings for everyone. Please freaking stop that. My mother, as usual a boss lady, replied her so sassily that my sissy ran to her and hugged her for 15 minutes straight. All of my closest friends got above 90% and I got below it, but God my parents didn't think about that for even once. They kept praising me.

So this was a rant post and you can totally ignore it if you want. Sorry for writing such a long ass thing, I had a lot to burst out.

And also sorry if there's any spelling mistake.

Congratulations to all the 10thies and 12thies for acing your exams. Everyone did amazing. I'm proud of you.

[dira333]

Passing Peonies - Post War Touya Todoroki - Part XI

When the war ended, Midoriya Izuku had proven one thing: That Villains did not need to be killed to be defeated. That you could make friends from enemies.

Touya Todoroki, formerly known as Dabi, had been one of those taken into the rehabilitation program. After one year of intense physical and psychological therapy, he's got the chance to prove himself. To prove that he can be a part of this world.

Complete fic length: 30.600 words - Masterlist

Warnings: poor mental health and resentment against past actions is mentioned, burn scars etc. as well. There is angst but this is mostly soft Touya coming back to his family...

64.media.tumblr.com

Part 11: (2,3k words) - I apologize for the chapter ahead...

Rico surprises him one morning when they load his car with flowers.

“There’s this new movie I really want to see.” He tells him. “About this guy who got bitten by a spider and has a spider quirk now? My nephew got me into the Hero Movies and says it’s really good but it’s always awkward to go alone. Do you want to come with me?”

He’s speechless for a long moment and it’s to Rico’s credit that the other man does not waver in his confidence.

“You don’t have any other friends to ask?” Touya asks and Rico snorts.

“Sure do, but it’s a Hero Movie. Your boss thought you’d be into it.” 

“Fine.” He huffs, planning to ask you all about it when he gets back to the shop.

It’s been a few weeks now that he’s allowed to buy the flowers by himself and he’s fully aware of the responsibility he holds. The heating went out last week, and the price for repairs was substantial, eating up what you had saved in the last few months due to increasing sales.

The holidays are almost over now, too, which means that there’s a rough stretch ahead where they have to rely on the sales they make from the agencies buying weekly Bouquets. 

They skip the coffee break and drive back, Rico chatting away as usual while he makes comments whenever he feels like it.

Rico’s nice, never pushy even though he must know that something’s going on between Touya and you, and his chattiness eases his mind when he starts thinking too much.

About Toga, who’s appeared twice in the last weeks, Mari, who still refuses to speak to him when not absolutely necessary, how the healing of his piercings goes about as slow as the healing of Shouto’s broken heart, or the fact that he’s not sure what his quirk is going to be when the authorities decide to take off his quirk canceling anklet.

-

It’s still too early to open the shop when Rico drives off so he closes the door and turns the key again, shutting off the lights, and slips into the back room to make coffee.

He’s not been in there for long when you step in through the other door, holding a back of baked goods in your hand.

“Good morning.” Your smile is big as if you’d expected him to be back early. “How did it go?”

“Good. Kibe-san was almost nice today. And the Bonsai guy gave me some seeds.” He drops the little packet in your eagerly outstretched hands.

“Amazing. I got a call yesterday, a friend recommended my work to someone who just inherited an old house, and the garden is absolutely wrecked. He asked if we could get to work on it to make it more presentable before spring so that he could sell it. He’ll send us some pictures later but it would be a great opportunity to get a foot in the door for you. Who knows, you could retake your high school exams and become a landscape architect.”

“And leave the shop?” He hands you your coffee, filled to the brim with cream and a mix of sweet somethings. “Never.”

Your smile is sweet but a little bashful as if you’re not quite believing him.

“I’d never leave you behind, you know that, right?” He asks, his heart beating double time as he waits for your answer.

“Just leaving the door open.” You tell him quietly and take a sip from your coffee, no doubt to busy yourself.

Had you been talking instead, he might not have heard it through the thick door.

But there’s the sound of glass crashing and he freezes.

Then, again. And it comes from the shop.

“Touya?” You ask but he’s at the door, open it gingerly to look through, not risking to make known that they are here.

He smells the fire before he sees it. 

“Touya?” You ask again, doubt seeping into your voice when he doesn’t answer right way.

“The shop’s under attack.” He says, his breath coming too fast now, but his mind is calm, high on adrenaline. “Stay in here, don’t come after me. Get yourself to safety.”

“No, Touya.” Your coffee cup explodes on the floor, your hands in his shirt but he pushes you back, one last look at your frightened face. “Stay back. You gotta stay safe.” He slips through the door, slams it shut, and turns the key they never use. For good measure.

Behind him, fire has built a wall of heat. 

-

He hadn’t known flowers could burn so well but whatever crashed through the window - possibly a molotow cocktail - had hit the dried eucalyptus that’s now burning bright, the flames licking at the wooden wall behind it. He grabs a bucket of roses, pulls them out and throws them to the side, pouring the water over the fire as far as he can reach. It’s not enough.

Smoke’s stinging in his eyes, his nose, his throat and there’s ice cold panic crawling up his back, but he works methodically, grabs one bucket after the other and pours it over the fire. He can feel blisters forming on his hands from the buckets that have grown hot from the fire, not caring that his vision is going hazy - from the smoke, or his panic, he doesn’t know.

He can hear voices but he could just as well be imagining it, as he coughs and gags against the smoke filling his mouth and his lungs, pulling off his shirt to smother more flames, grabbing plants to bring to relative safety in the back of the shop.

Half of the blossoms of his plant, the holiday cactus, have burned away. The Bonsai you’d been so proud of is nothing but a stem anymore. Bob’s children aren’t bobbing anymore as he lifts them up, the roughness of the pot digging into his already blistered skin.

Something grabs and pulls him into the other direction.

He fights, claws at whatever it is, but it is stronger than him and suddenly, he’s faced with cold, fresh air and the dawning morning outside.

“Stay here.” Someone snaps at him and he can barely see the uniform of a firefighter before he sees you, on the ground, lifeless.

If he thought he’d felt panic before, it had been nothing compared to what he feels now, the horror imploding in his chest. He staggers forward, trying to get to you, but someone grabs him again.

He can see Mari lurching forward, toward you, and he might be barely able to hear anything about the thrumming of his heart, but he can hear her voice, read her lips, as she wails.

“It was him! He set the fire! I saw it all!”

She takes one more step forward, pointing her finger at him. She bends as if to touch you and something in him snaps so violently he gasps, flinging his arms forward as if he’s about to push her away from you - and somehow he does.

A wall of ice, the height and width of a grown man, surges forward, pushing Mari back, but circling you, protecting you.

That’s the last thing he sees before he goes down and everything goes blissfully dark.

-

His eyes snap open and he’s on high alert, trying to gain a sense of direction.

Where is he and when is it? Where are you?

“Easy there!” Someone presses him down and a face appears in his vision. It’s Hawks, surprisingly.

Touya chokes out your name and Hawks nods.

“She’s safe. Used her powers too much and fell asleep right there on the street. You gave us much more of a freight there. Half burned up, choking from the smoke and then the ice… didn’t know you could do that.”

“That happened?” He asks. “I thought I was hallucinating from the smoke.”

“Oh no, boy, that really happened. Still out there even, they need it as evidence. Have a look if you want to, but be careful, you took quite a beating from that fire.”

He gets up carefully, surprised to see his hands in bandages and a thick blanket slung around him.

He’s inside an ambulance, the doors open. Just outside he can see the wall of ice, police and firemen discussing something. Behind them, he can see a corner of the window, the glass black from smoke.

And there, right next to that window, are you. 

He walks straight toward you, like a compass needle pulled north.

You’re huddled up in a blanket as well, clutching the ends to your chest as you look down at the ground. A woman in a police uniform is standing next to you, one hand on your shoulder.

She says something and you look up, catch sight of him - and go flying.

He barely manages to catch you when you fling yourself at him, arms around his shoulders as you press your face into his shoulders, sobbing.

“I’m so glad you’re alive.” You choke out and he understands deeply how you feel. 

“You know me,” he jokes against the feelings raging in his chest, “Nothing a little fire could kill.”

-

As it turns out, Mari had set the fire, planning to blame it on him.

She didn’t expect him to be there earlier, not knowing about the agreement that had him buying the flowers in the morning.

Nor did she expect him to be with you as it happened.

You, who’d called the police the moment he had closed the door in your face. Who ran around the block to help him from the other side, not knowing what to expect.

Now, a tree is growing into the shop, it’s thick trunk stabilising the building further.

He didn’t have to wonder why you fell asleep instantly. The tree is massive, winding itself around and through the burnt wood, a living and breathing thing holding up the apartments above the shop. 

It takes hours to clear everything up. 

Mari isn’t one to reveal her secrets easily and the police don’t take his innocence for granted, even with an alibi.

He’s questioned again and again, repeating himself over and over until his voice gives out, his throat still raw from the smoke.

They don’t understand how he could be able to produce ice until they manage to get a hold of one of the guys who designed his anklets.

As it turns out, the anklets are either low impact on all quirks or high impact on a specific quirk. No one could have known he would suddenly develop an ice quirk and had he still been able to speak, they’d have wrung him through another round of questioning to find out if he’d been aware of the chance.

He wasn’t. He still isn’t really, the events of today feel more like a nightmare than reality.

Around five p.m. he’s allowed to leave the police station.

His father, having been by his side since the moment he’d been brought there, pulls him into an awkward hug.

“Where do you want to go?” He asks. “Hospital? Pharmacy? Home?”

Touya forms a flower with his hands and Enji nods as if that had to be expected.

“Alright. There’s a drugstore next door, I’ll get you something for your throat there.”

-

Touya’s not surprised to find you in the shop as well, tending to the flowers and plants amidst people in hard hats and suits.

“You shouldn’t be here.” You tell him when he enters, but still wrap your hands around his lower arms, carefully avoiding the bandages on his hands. “I’m so glad you’re safe.”

He nods and points towards the plants at the back of the shop, drawing a question mark into the air.

“One of Bob’s kids did not make it but the others are still alive.” You tell him. “Most of the cut flowers are done for as well. The insurance company and city surveyor are currently doing an inspection. They’re not sure we can keep working in here.”

At your words, a small man with a button nose - a literal button nose, steps forward. He’s so small that he has to put his head back to look up at you.

“I am afraid we don’t have good news.” He says, his voice a little tinny but full of empathy. “Your quick thinking kept the building from collapsing but the building structure is already damaged and we cannot risk that you keep working in here. We’re advising evacuation.”

“But I live here.” You stutter out and the man nods.

“I understand. We have a team of movers that can safely transport all your belongings without upsetting the damaged structure, therefore one apartment after the other will be emptied out in the next week. After that, we’ll rebuild the apartment block and you should be able to move in again.”

“How long will that take? I can’t close the shop for long, it’s my only income.”

“It shouldn’t take more than three months, tops. If we can get building team three on this, we could be done in a month, they have some very handy quirks. But for today, you should go home, I mean, go home to a friend or family, and rest. Everything will look a little brighter tomorrow.”

You open your mouth to speak but he bids himself goodbye and leaves.

Touya puts his hand on your arm now and you turn, confusion, hurt, and bubbling panic visible in your eyes.

He points at himself, then draws the shape of a house into the air.

“You want me to come to your house?” You ask and he cocks his head to the side, hoping you’ll understand.

“No,” you sigh, “I don’t have any other friends I could ask right now.”

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[startrekfangirl2233-writes]

Carry You Home

Part 8 of Sometimes All You Need (A Getaway Car)

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader

Description: The holidays in San Diego are drier and hotter than you're used to. But with Jake, Callie, Neil and all of your friends there, they should be fun, right? Wrong. At the request of Mama Georgie you and Jake pack up to head to Texas for Christmas. But what you find there is something you'd never expect to find, in more ways than one. Disclaimers: Arguments, Alcohol, Homophobic Language Warning: Female Reader Word Count: 6282 Author Note: Here’s part 8 of Sometimes All You Need (A Getaway Car). Here's the drama! GG and Jake head to Texas and it's... not great? Jake and his siblings are all amazing, but there is another member of the family I introduce you all to who is anything but. I hope you all like it! AO3: Cross-posted Here! My Masterlist Previous Part | Series Masterlist | Next Part

The holiday season in San Diego is always a little - interesting. You only get white snow drenched Christmases in the movies in California. But you honestly wouldn’t trade your California Christmases for anything in the world. That’s due, in part, to the family you’ve found yourself a part of. Jake and Javy are always around, filling your house with light and laughter, their bond stronger than blood. Callie and Neil are always around too, your family blending perfectly with Jake’s like they’ve always belonged together. With Callie, comes Tasha, who Callie confided to you, might be the one. With Tasha comes Bob. And once you’ve got Bob coming, it was only natural to invite the other Daggers. Soon enough, your house is the place to be for any elite aviator posted at North Island.

That’s no less true as you clean up in the kitchen after the first Thanksgiving you’ve ever hosted. The football game is blaring out from your living room and you can hear the boys’ exaggerated boos and smack talk emanating through the house. You’re loading the last of the dinner plates into the dishwasher when your phone rings as Jake makes his way into the kitchen.

You’re giggling into the phone when you pick it up. How can you be anything but happy with a 6-foot-tall man, your 6-foot-tall man, draped across your back?

“Mama Georgie! Hi! Happy Thanksgiving!” You’re smiling from ear to ear as Jake kisses the side of your head. You grin as Jake’s mom tells you all about the Seresin family Thanksgiving spread.

“Thanks for sending me your pie recipes, Mama Georgie! They went over a treat here. Twelve aviators and they ate every crumb. I made four pies!” You can’t even object when Jake snatches the phone from you to steal his mama for himself a little. 

“Hey, mama! I’m missing all of y’all today. It’s not Thanksgiving if I’m not home. But thankfully my gorgeous girl was here and gave me a slice of home so I don’t miss you too badly.” Heat rushes through your system, settling hot in your chest like it always does when Jake calls you his. 

It’s as you pull out the apple cider from the fridge, for the spiked apple cider you're serving after the game, that you hear Jake’s tone change.

“Sir.” That one word is enough to capture your interest. Who in his family would Jake call sir? Not his brothers. His dad or his grandfather then.

“Yessir. I was planning on coming home for Christmas, sir.” When you turn around, all of the joy has drained right out of Jake’s face. His green eyes look almost angry as you leave the cider ingredients on the counter and walk right to his side. To his credit, he tries to stay light-hearted for you, mouthing "my dad" and rolling his eyes, but after nearly a year and a half together, you're sure you can read Jake a bit better than that. 

Jake's worried, worried and tense about something. You know he's more than his Hangman persona, and you're sure you can read every sign of Jake putting that mask on from the first indicator. But right now? It's not Hangman schooling his emotions, and it's not your goofy golden retriever of a boyfriend. This is somebody else. 

"I've got two weeks of leave, sir, and I am planning on flying in on the 22nd or 23rd and leaving shortly after the New Year." Your hands glide easily over the slick soft material of the eye-blindingly bright orange jersey covering Jake's torso as you wrap your arms around his waist.

"Am I bringing my girl home?" You can feel every muscle under your fingertips tense. "I have to double check that she doesn't have plans already, sir."

You can hear a voice that sounds so much like Jake's spilling out of the phone. It sounds similar, yes, but there is a harshness to this voice you’ve never heard in Jake’s. The underlying aura of casual cruelty this voice emanates has chills running down your spine. From how tense Jake is as he wraps an arm around you, like he's reaching for a buoy to keep him afloat in rough waters, you know you're right to worry.

You don't know when Jake hangs up the call, because the next thing you know are his arms curled tight around you. Your cheek is pressed tightly to his chest and you can hear the steady whoosh of his breathing.

"You back with me, gorgeous?" You nuzzle in closer, all of a sudden so relaxed that you could fall asleep just like this.

“Yeah, Jay.” You slide your hands under Jake’s jersey, tracing the strong muscles of his back as he rocks the two of you back and forth.

“So you heard that, yeah?” You nod as you finally pull away, pulling out a pot from the cupboard to start on the cider.

“Was that your dad?” You’re cutting up apples as Jake muscles up to the counter next to you.

“Yeah. D’you need any spices for the cider?” He’s already poured out the gallons of cider into the pot and set it to simmer.

“What did he want? For the cider I’ll need a stick of cinnamon, a couple of cloves, a half-inch piece of ginger and a bit of citrus peel all in one of those spice sachets. I’ve got the orange peel on the cutting board for you, Jay.” You can’t hide your smile as Jake drops a kiss to your lips before nabbing the peel to add the to sachet that he’s already got mostly assembled.

“He wants you to come home with me for Christmas.” You can’t read Jake’s tone as he says those words. “Put the sachet into the pot?”

“Yeah, the sachet goes right into the pot.” You carefully lower the apple slices into the pot and put the lid on it before turning around. Jake’s got his arms crossed against the counter, looking right at you. “Do you want me to come home with you for Christmas?”

“Of course I do, baby doll.” But you know there’s something Jake’s hiding from you. You can see words at the tip of his tongue as he tries to think of a spin to what his first initial thought is. 

“Then what’s going on? Is it your family?” You must be frowning because Jake’s hands rise up to squish your cheeks even as he brings your forehead to meet his. Your lips brush lightly across his as you continue to speak, even as your voice is muffled by the tight grip he has on your cheeks. “I mean, I met Mama Georgie and Will when you were in the hospital and they loved me. At least I think they did? I wasn’t at my best though so who even knows if they saw anything other than a mess? I hope they loved me, Jay!”

Jake’s chuckling as he looks into your eyes, so amused by your obvious distress. You’re still blathering on about your intense need to make sure Jake’s family liked you when you get cut off by his lips covering yours. Your eyes flutter closed on instinct as your arms rise to wrap around Jake’s neck. His tongue slips easily between your parted lips even as his hands slide under your blouse to meet the bare skin at the waistband of your jeans. Jake kisses all of the thoughts out of your head for several moments before a set of sharp wolf-whistles breaks you apart. You’re blushing a little, your face hot, as you bury yourself into Jake’s chest just a little before walking to the stove to check on the cider. Unsurprisingly, it’s Callie, Tasha, and Javy standing right there, looking at you and Jake with amused eyes.

“I thought we were getting cider. Then we walk in here and you’re all loved up, sucking face with your boy toy?” It’s Callie, taking advantage of one of the few times she can tease you, of course. But that’s your one advantage, having a best friend who confides in you about everything and whose spare keys you have.

You flip her off before grinning, “At least you haven’t walked in on us fucking on the sofa, Cal! Of course, I can’t say the same thing about you.”

Your remark takes the heat off of you and Jake and you’re more than pleased when all three of your friends walk out of the kitchen bickering with each other. By the resulting roar coming out of your living room, it’s a topic of conversation that all of the other aviators latch on to quite easily. More importantly, it leaves you and Jake alone in the kitchen again.

“As I was saying, before we were so rudely interrupted earlier,” Jake cages you up against the kitchen counter, capturing your lips in another kiss. “They loved you, gorgeous. Mama loves you in a way she’s never loved any of my other girlfriends. She keeps asking me how you are, how you’re doing. It’s why she has your phone number in the first place. I promise they adore you.” He’s peppering kisses across your face between words.

“Then what is it, Jake?” You can’t hide how worried you feel. It’s coloring your tone even as you trace the longhorn emblazoned across his chest with your eyes.

“It’s not you, sweetheart. It’s not my mom or siblings either. It’s my dad.” Those last words are practically whispered into your hair. “I've told you a little bit about him. You know what he's like. I really hoped I wouldn't have to ever introduce him to you. He's going to say a lot of shit, baby. I know he will. But if you truly want to come to Texas for me, I'll make sure he doesn't take his anger at me out on you."

"Why would he be angry at you, Jake?" You really don't understand why anybody would be mad at him.

"Because I've never been the son he wanted. The son he deserves. I was supposed to go to law school and then come back to be legal attache to the ranch and his legal council while he ran for office. I ruined all of that by joining the Navy." 

It’s a thought you ruminate on for the rest of the night, while you’re cleaning up and getting ready for bed. Jake drives them straight out of your head soon afterwards, drugging you with the heat of his skin and press of his mouth.

You don’t remember Jake’s words again until you’re waiting for your bags at baggage claim in the Austin airport a couple of days before Christmas. Most people are excited to go home for the holidays right? Jake’s got a grimace on his face, one more akin to a man facing the gallows than a man going home to his beloved family. Coupled with the incredibly apparent storm clouds around him, and you’re already bracing yourself for a wholly uncomfortable Christmas. It’s a foul miasma which surrounds you from the moment you get into the taxi and all the way through the drive.

Jake’s smiling, showing you all of the sights, coupled with anecdotes about his childhood. It’s nice, of course, seeing where Jake grew up, but there is something not quite right about his artificial good mood. All of the houses are covered in colorful lights and the atmosphere looks straight out of a storybook - if you switch out Texas scrub for snow, of course.

Seresin Ranch is just as festively decorated as every other property you've seen so far. At about an hour's drive from the airport, you'd half expected a little place in the middle of nowhere. You couldn't have been more wrong. There is an entire village's worth of houses on the many acres of land on the ranch, each covered in string lights. Ranch hands scurry to and fro, working cattle, training horses, and carting bales of hay to the big red barns you can see in the distance. You look out on the whole affair with fascination, the city-girl in you in awe at the foreign sights.

It's mid-afternoon as your cab pulls up the winding main road up to the biggest house you've ever seen. Jake's always carried this worldly, cultured air about him, and looking at his childhood home, you can see why. The main ranch house is up on a hill, overlooking the acres of land it's built on. The air smells crisp and clean as you step out of the taxi with the assistance of the butler. You also inexplicably feel out of place - like a little kid playing dress-up with their mother's heels and makeup or a wolf in sheep's clothing. Your simple, yet good quality jacket, cable-knit sweater, jeans and boots feel drab in comparison to the opulence you're sure you'll see on the inside. 

No wonder the butler looks down his hooked nose at you. You look like a peasant entering the royal palace through the front gate on the arm of the prince. It clicks all of a sudden for you - why Jake's always so put-together, always so perfect. It has to be the effects of growing up in this place. The polished marble floor shows your entire reflection as you step carefully through the open front door into the foyer. Each of your footsteps echoes, ricocheting through the cavernous space as you hand your jacket to the butler and clutch your purse closer to your side.

"Here, gorgeous." Jake's voice eases some of the tension you feel, especially as his arm wraps around your shoulder and his lips press against your temple as he hands you your gift for his parents. It's nothing special - a couple of bottles of wine, one of the best varieties you could get, in a basket along with toys for the dogs, chocolates, and a throw blanket. Jake had approved of the basket and your idea for its contents when you'd suggested it, but standing in the foyer of his home, you're about ninety-nine percent sure it's cheap, far cheaper than his parents deserve.

Before you can ponder hiding it, Mama Georgie's already walking regally down the front stairs, her dimples twinkling in the sunlight as she walks faster than you ever could in her heels to greet her son. There is true affection and love in every interaction Mama Georgie has with Jake. You'd seen it in the hospital when Jake had been injured and you see it now. Side by side, the observation you'd made about mother and son while Jake was in the hospital is even more true - Jake is just like his mother, especially when they smile standing there side by side looking at you.

“Hi Darling! How are you? How was your trip? It wasn’t too bad was it? Y’all are just in time for dinner! I made your favorite, Jakey - my chili!” If there’s one person other than Jake who you’ve met that can put you at ease, it’s his mom. Mama Georgie sweeps you up into her arms for the firmest, most motherly, hug you’ve felt in a long time before dragging you after her into the kitchen, babbling a mile a minute. As sterile as the main foyer has been, the colossal chef-grade kitchen is anything but. The entire room is suffused with the warm smells of spices. There are two tow-headed toddlers standing at the counter gleefully mashing cookie dough between their fingers and three big dogs waiting for scraps. Arrayed around the room are what must be the remainder of Jake’s siblings and their spouses. Laughter is an undercurrent to the warm atmosphere.

“Can I get y’all anything to drink? Anything to eat? Jakey I know you haven’t been eating properly. Look at you, you’re so thin!” You smile unabashedly at the rising chorus of coo-ing noises as all four of Jake’s siblings join in on making their brother blush. Jake takes one look at your laughing face and wraps you in a bear hug, kissing you until your face is hot and your giggles are gone.

When he pulls away, he murmurs, “So you’ll pick my brothers and sisters before me, huh?” You know he’s not angry though, not when he’s smirking at you.

“They’re a funny bunch, Jay! What am I supposed to do?” You’re grinning fondly as Jake rolls his eyes.

To the room at large, he introduces you before abandoning you to his sisters and going to beg his mom for a snack she’s already assembling in bowls. If only the Daggers were here to hear how whiny the cool and collected Hangman can get. It makes you smile even wider as you chat with Jake’s sisters and sisters-in-law. From what Jake’s told you, he has two younger sisters, Eliza and Maggie, though as Eliza corrects you, she’s younger by only ten minutes, as his twin. His sisters-in-law are Hannah and Melissa. Of all of his siblings you’ve met, you know Hannah, Will’s wife, the best, as she’d come up to San Diego when Jake was injured with her husband. In age order, then, you have Henry, Will, Jake, Eliza, and Maggie. Hannah, a statuesque blonde, in addition to being Will’s wife, is mother to the twin terrors currently mashing cookie dough into each others’ mouths and Mama Georgie’s pristine kitchen counters, James and Jordan. Melissa is a mischievous looking red-head with green eyes that puts Jake’s to shame. Standing next to her 6 foot tall husband she’s curvy and diminutive. Her only child, a four month old baby girl named Sarah is the chubbiest, cutest baby you’ve ever met. Rounding out the family in the kitchen is Eliza’s fiancée, Beth.

You’ve got Sarah in your lap, the little girl playing with and gumming up your clean fingers when the entire kitchen seems to go silent. You feel a bit like a deer in headlights when a pair of green eyes seems to impale you from the tall, imposing person standing near Mama Georgie. You can’t even use Sarah as a buffer because Melissa whisks the baby away. So you’re left inexplicably empty-handed as you step forward to stand next to Jake in front of his dad.

“So, son. This is your girlfriend?” Your initial impressions of Jake’s dad just from hearing him through the phone were spot on. 

“Yessir.” Jake introduces you to his dad, and his dad to you. Henry Seresin Sr is Jake’s older, more grizzled doppelganger, but one who has had every drop of joy wrung from his soul. His emerald eyes feel cold, like he’s trying to read your soul and maybe rob it from your body. 

“Pleased to meet you.” You feel very much like you failed the most important test of your life. He doesn’t sound pleased to meet you at all. You’re more inclined to think he believes you to be akin to a bug squished on the bottom of his shoe. Just as soon as those intimidating green eyes have you in their crosshairs, they move on, transfixing Jake in their gaze.

“So this is what you’re getting up to? Chasing some piece of tail rather than keeping your head in the game? Your mom told me you got injured. Was it because your head was on her instead of on your mission?” Your hackles raise even higher at his words, if that is even possible. 

You’re getting angry. Like this man even has an idea of what Jake’s been through. Hearing and knowing, understanding are two different things. But no matter how you swallow or how many words line up on your tongue, your mouth doesn’t work.

Jake just grasps your hand a bit tighter as he stares his father down. The mask you’d seen on his face after Thanksgiving Dinner when his dad had demanded Jake bring you home is back. Coupled with his ramrod straight back and the set to his jaw, you’d think Jake was facing down a particularly odious commanding officer, not his father. Before the tension can escalate any further though, Mama Georgie starts handing out bowls of food. With her Texas Chili in their hands, father and son seem to simmer down.

Before long, the twins have their little faces smeared in sour cream and rich meaty chili streaked across their chins, and that’s the first time you see Jake’s dad smile. He looks at James and Jordan with such naked affection in your eyes that you can understand how a woman as warm and kind as Mama Georgie could fall in love with a man like Henry Seresin. Jake is, rather unsurprisingly, taciturn throughout the meal where he had been goofing around with his brothers less than an hour prior. Jake’s dad doesn’t act like you’re even at the table, seemingly content to ignore you and his youngest son. He converses with Will, Henry, Hannah, Melissa, and his wife in turn, pausing to listen to the twins’ babbling too. Maggie gets her own share of her dad’s attention too. It seems to be only Beth, Eliza, Jake and you who get unilaterally ignored.

From what you can see, it seems to suit Eliza and Beth just fine, but it’s Jake that most of your attention is on. You know how much he craves his dad’s attention, whether he admits it or not, so this has to cut deep. Would things be different if you weren’t here? A part of you isn’t sure if it would be. Jake would be facing his dad’s unnecessary disapproval alone. At least he won’t open his mouth and say the truly cutting things he wants to if there is a stranger in the house? You can hope, anyhow.

The tension dissipates some as in the cover of night, everyone separates and gets loaded into the many pickup trucks waiting in the driveway to undertake what you’re told very excitedly by Mama Georgie, is a Seresin family Christmas tradition. It’s not cold exactly, but you still climb into the bed of the pickup truck Will’s driving easily, accepting the blanket Jake draws over your lap and the thermos Mama Georgie hands you. Jake, of course, settles in next to you, and you have no qualms about cuddling into his arms. 

As the cars start moving, Jake tells you how each year the Seresins drive into Austin to view all of the Christmas light displays on December 23rd with hot chocolate in hand. On Christmas Eve, the tree gets finished. When you ask him what that means, he grins and tells you how the tree’s final ornaments are the popcorn garlands the kids make and some tinsel. Each member of the family gets a singular present to open on Christmas Eve. Come Christmas morning, over breakfast, the gifts are opened and everyone meets up again for family dinner out in one of the big barns. That’s when you’ll meet his aunts, uncles, and cousins.

All of a sudden it seems like you’re going to be inundated with a lot of Seresins in not a lot of time. But that’s not what’s bothering you. You curl your hand around Jake’s cheek, gently pulling his lips to yours in a sweet kiss.

“What was that about, Jay?” Your voice is a whisper just loud enough to be heard in the scant inches of space between the two of you.

“Dad? At dinner?” Jake’s eyes glint golden in the dim starlight illuminating the way. Will’s truck is last in line and you and Jake are alone in the bed. “That is his way of punishing his kids. He hates that I joined the Navy instead of doing what he wanted.” 

You have a sick, foreboding feeling in your stomach as you ask your next question. “Then why is he ignoring Eliza and Beth?”

Jake’s chuckle is equally mirthless. “He hates that Eliza is gay. Dad is just old-fashioned enough to hate it at home. But outwardly he pretends to be all tolerant and shit so none of his soon-to-be constituents take offense. It’s horribly two-faced. Eliza and Dad had a bunch of fights the first time Eliza brought Beth home. For Mama’s sake he tolerates Beth. The only way he knows how to do that is to ignore them.”

You wrap your arms even tighter around Jake, your mind ticking along at a mile a minute. You understand Henry Seresin even less now.

As advertised, the lighting displays are gorgeous and Christmas Eve passes in as much idyllic calm as it can with three children and 12 adults occupying the same house. Things start racing off the rails during the annual Christmas Eve present unwrapping. Thankfully you’d thought ahead and purchased presents for every member of Jake’s family, and it seems like there is a pile of presents under the tree for you as well. The adults are sipping on boozy homemade eggnog as James and Jordan hand out the gifts with Will’s help. 

One by one, each person opens their Christmas Eve pre-Santa gift. Jake had picked out your gift to open and he’d graced you with his special soft smile at the sight of his grandfather’s watch restored and ticking in perfect order. Finally, the only person who hasn’t opened a gift is you. In all honesty, you’re not upset at all, holding James in your lap as the little boy had taken a shine to you. Between one second and the next all of the noise dies down. Even James’ babble silences and when you look up, it’s to the sight of Jake, in his goofy Christmas-themed pajamas, on one knee in front of you.

“J-Jay? What are you doing?” You can’t believe your eyes.

“I know we usually open a gift on Christmas Eve, but what I’m asking you might just be the best gift I’ve ever received in my life. My gorgeous girl, you’ve stuck with me through thick and thin. Since the day we met, you’ve had me wrapped around your fingers. I love you so much. Would you do me the honor of making me the happiest man in the world and marry me?” 

Tears drip down your face as you nod and Jake pushes the band onto your ring finger. He kisses you, soft and sweet, keeping it light, standing there in the living room of his happiest place on earth. What startles the two of you apart is the banging of a door down the hall. When you pull away, the only person missing is his dad. Guess he doesn’t approve then. But you can’t dwell on Jake’s dad. Not when you have a fiancé, a fiancé, to hug and kiss, again, and a room full of his loved ones welcoming you into the family. You go to bed that night a little tipsy and with your heart so full of love for Jake and for his family.

The atmosphere when you wake up on Christmas morning is a little bit different. The living room is awash with the twins’ laughter as they demolish the gift wrapping into shards of brightly colored confetti. All of the adults are sleepily smiling at the boys as they carry gifts to each adult in turn. All of the adults, that is, other than Jake’s dad. The oldest male in the room is glaring gloomily, mustering a smile only when James or Jordan toddles towards their grandfather. For the most part, despite the glares, you enjoy yourself. 

It’s when the family gathers for Christmas dinner before the party in the barn that the apple cart topples over in earnest. You bow your head for grace dutifully, though you’re not religious in the slightest. It’s as dishes are being passed back and forth down the long wooden table groaning under the weight of all of the food on it that Jake’s dad opens his mouth again.

“Jacob.” The entire table seems to hush at his words, all conversation snuffed out. That one word has you lying your utensils down, swallowing, taking a sip of water and patting your lips with your napkin. Jake’s tense at your side as he does the same thing.

“Yes, sir?” Jake’s conciliatory, keeping his eyes trained on his plate.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you, boy.” Jake’s hands drop to his sides as he stares at his father on command. You place your hand in his, taking comfort in the way his big thumbs run lightly over the emerald embedded in the shining silver now on your left hand.

“Are you thinking this through? I’m sure she’s nice enough, but what makes you think she’s appropriate for a man in your social standing?” Your eyes widen, and you see anger on Mama Georgie’s face for the first time since you met her.

“Appropriate for a man of my social standing?” From that tone alone, you’re bracing for a fight. “I wasn’t aware I had a social standing, Pops.” 

You can picture the way Jake’s lips pop as he says those words. But you can’t look away from Jake’s dad. Not now that you know that Jake has picked a fight. A fight he’s determined to win. 

“Ridiculous. I thought the Navy was supposed to teach discipline, not show my son how to whore around. Is she knocked up? Is that why you brought that cheap little slut into my house and introduced her to your brothers and sisters? To your niece and nephews?” You can’t even begin to get angry, not when you can sense the entire force of Jake’s anger emanating in waves from his body. His hand is gentle as he holds yours despite his rage.

“What did you say about her?” It’s a hissed out sentence. You don’t know when, but Hannah and the twins are no longer at the table. Neither is baby Sarah. It’s good that the kids are out of the blast radius of this particular fight.

“You heard me, son.” You’ve never heard more condescending words in your entire life.

“I did hear you, Dad.” Jake inhales deep, the sound whooshing out like bellows filled with hot air. 

“I wanted to make sure that I heard the right thing. Let’s get one thing clear. I found the love of my life in San Diego. She’s not a whore, she’s not knocked up, though that’ll happen as soon as she lets me put a baby in her. She’s not cheap. My gorgeous girl is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You’re not in the Navy so you have no idea what it does to a relationship to be apart from someone for months, maybe years at a time when you love them. It takes a special person to withstand the deployments, the stress, the injuries, all of it. I found that person and I asked her to marry me. I brought her home because I wanted her to have a support net, people she could rely on when I’m deployed so she’s not alone in a house like a mausoleum all by herself.”

“I’m in my right mind, old man. I know exactly what I’m doing. I’ve been thinking about marrying her since the night I met her. There isn’t another woman in the world for me.” When Jake kisses the ring on your finger, you have to hide your smile.

That’s not the only time, either. Jake’s dad is flushed with his anger, his eyes bulging out of his head at the sight of you still sitting by his son.

“Georgia.” His voice is full of rage as he spits out his wife’s name.

“Where did we go wrong? These two,” he growls, gesturing at Jake and Eliza in turn. “Why do they always have to be such fucking embarrassments? You let Jake spend too much time with your dad so the little idiot joined the Navy and brought back a woman who probably couldn’t sit through a fancy dinner without embarrassing the family. And then there’s Eliza.” 

At her name, Eliza tenses in entirety, her big green eyes wide as they stare between her father and her brother. 

“Our daughter couldn’t even turn out right, huh? If I had my way she would’ve been married to the youngest Johnson boy. He’s perfectly respectable. But no. We let her go to college in New York and she came back with a girlfriend. Disgraces, both of them.” 

Jake’s just about to open his mouth in defense of his clearly distraught sister when a chair squeals against the hardwood floor as it is pushed violently away from the table. It’s Henry, glaring at his father.

“Jake, Will, Eliza, Maggie, Mel. We’re leaving. Now.” It doesn’t surprise you at all that all the siblings fall in line. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” It’s another painfully tense moment between father and son. 

“I’m going to celebrate Christmas with my siblings. My siblings who I love because of who they are, not the political power they’ll bring me.”

He turns to Mama Georgie sitting in shock at the other end of the long, long dinner table. “I’m sorry, Mama. I can’t sit here and hear my siblings and their fiancée’s get insulted like this, not anymore. It’s something I should’ve done months ago, when Eliza first brought Bethie home.” 

“Will you at least take some of the food with you?” You’re not sure how Mama Georgie’s keeping her composure even as her eyes are glassy with unshed tears.

“Yeah, Mama. Eliza, can you help Mama pack up enough food for all of us?” You’re not surprised in the slightest to see all of the Seresin siblings jump into action.

“Jake and Beth. Can you grab your bags? The four of you will stay with Will and Hannah or Mel and I. We can figure out who’s staying where in a bit.” Jake nods, standing up before walking to his eldest brother and hugging him.

You follow him up the stairs to the guest bedroom and sit on the bed, packing the few things you’d left out into your suitcase again. Jake’s silent as he walks to and fro, packing his things. You stop him as he grabs a sweater from the foot of the bed, pulling him in between your legs. You know what his dad said made him feel terrible when he can’t even meet your eyes.

“Jay?” You tug on his hands gently. “Can you look at me?”

When his eyes finally meet yours, you’re shocked to see the normally clear, sage pools bloodshot and worried. His brow is furrowed and you pull him until he sits heavily down on the bed next to you.

“What’s going on, Jay?” You rest your head on his shoulder, entwining your arms with his as you cuddle in close.

“Baby, you heard him. You know exactly why I never wanted to bring you home. For all I know, you’re going to return this ring and walk away, just because of my family.” This is what your gorgeous, beautiful, sweet man is worried about?

“I love your family, Jay. Your mom, brothers, sisters, sisters-in-laws, niece and nephews, I love them all. Your family are the people who show you love, who love you unconditionally. They’re your family. Not the man who’s only ever spoken to you like that.” Your voice is soft as you play with his fingers.

“I’m not breaking up with you because of some words somebody I don’t even know says about me. We’ve been through far too much to end because of something like that.” Jake’s chuckle is soft as he pecks your lips gently. 

“We really have, haven’t we?” His voice is just as soft as yours as he cups your jaw. “I love you, baby doll. I’m sorry this Christmas got destroyed. I’m sorry our engagement was overshadowed by my dad’s hissy fit.”

“Nothing could ruin how happy I was when you asked me to marry you last night. I love you.” You tug Jake into a sweet kiss before grabbing your bag.

It doesn’t surprise you in the slightest when Jake gently lifts it from your hands  as you walk out of the door. It also doesn’t surprise you to see Mama Georgie at the foot of the stairs.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. No matter what my husband says, you’re family to me. I can’t wait to see you marry my son. You make him so happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted - my children happy.” You’re tearing up at her words as she hugs you tight. “That’s why I gave Jake the ring my father, his Grandpa Jacob, gave my mother.”

“I hope I’ll see you soon.” You answer Mama Georgie in the affirmative and walk out of the house. It doesn’t surprise you at all to hear the roar of “Henry David Seresin” as you walk out the door, not at all.

You spend the remainder of your time in Texas staying with Henry and Melissa in their cute little cottage a little ways away from Seresin Ranch. It’s refreshing being able to just be yourself. Even better is the view from the front porch you get of holding baby Sarah while watching her dad and uncle work up a sweat cutting firewood. This? This is all you think you could ever want. It’s definitely something you want in your own future. A small baby against your chest and their daddy looking at you like you’re everything he’ll ever need. In one sharp longing moment, you realize that’s all you could ever want with Jake.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN HERE OR ON AO3 BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN HERE OR AO3, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

Taglist:

🚙 @mayhemmanaged 🚙 @love2write2626 🚙@little-wiseone

🚙 @eli2447 🚙 @f1maverick 🚙 @desert-fern 🚙 @daphne-turner

🚙 @djs8891 🚙 @shanimallina87 🚙 @chaoticassidy

🚙 @kmc1989 🚙 @dempy 🚙 @mamaskillerqueen 🚙 @abaker74

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🚙 @cherrycola27 🚙 @roosterforme 🚙 @dakotakazansky

🚙 @beccaanne814

[vanillamuke]

me! lockscreens / feel free to use them!

[sexyandhedonistic]

SUCESS STORY AHEAD ~

I've been working(loyally) on my SC since starting of 2022.

Things just go my way fr

ie. While finishing my assignment my pen runs out of ink n I tell my sub that it didn't so... within seconds it starts flowing ink like a new one.

I was telling my sister to get me socks from upstairs ( bc m too lazy to go) out of the blue my mom comes back home with a new pair of socks (that too pink uwu) time span was freaking 30 secs!

I'm Much much much more social in school.

Ppl approach me first n want to keep me close ( ie. Sit next to to me or smthn)

Randomly making my classes go off to online just for a day bc I didn't wanted to go school next day! ( time span of getting msg from school = 30 minutes)

I gave 3 presentation since 2022 n all of them have been excellent m getting a full grade guysss!!

The confidence I had before stepping in the room full of ppl waitting for my presentation was beyond amazing. No more anxious n suttering me.

Just randomly ppl telling me that I look so slim.

Last night our friend grp took sm videos n my legs looked Hella long n skinny!! Gigi Hadid who?

I legit had such a good day yesterday. All the laughing n fun it's Like my life has jumped from depressed n lonely to fun and centre of attention.

Not just yesterday but it's almost everyday since starting of 2022. Everyday is even more better.

In December I was so obsessed over getting in void. At the end of Dec I was like fkk this! N decided to to all in with my SC n know that I am GOD!! That's more that enough!

Did I get in void? Nope.

Do I care about it? Nope .

Things are just going so pretty for me I'm sitting here being all amazed y would I give 2 shots about a silly method.

Ohh yeah n then again overconsuming n not applying is another factor. Look ik as a fact now that I am god like there is no going back but sm days when m anxious (which didn't happen since Jan) I do come back to look at loa posts for sm motivation n it feels good to be reminded that yass it's all in my control. But I don't solely depend on posts to get me going. I rarely visit Tumblr tho.

Like legit I engraved it in my brain.. that I AM GOD, IT'S MY REALITY I CAN TAME IT, TWIST IT, BEND IT THE WAY I WANT! IT'S ME WHO'S IN CONTROL. THINGS HAPPEN FOR ME N NOT TO TO ME.

Dropping the victim mentality was one of the best things I did in my whole 18 yrs of exsistance. Taking responsibility for what happen in my life bc uk EIYPO !!

What happens if I see smthn unwanted in my 3d?

Methods I use: Lullaby & commanding

Everything that happens in my life is desirable. Each one of us manifests every mili second but I only manifest desirable stuff. Just in case if I see smthn I don't like. I don't necessarily ignore it I just give all the credits to 2021 me. It's the ol assumptions being reflected in my 3d. Nahh that's not me it must be her bc I've nothing but only dr!

Affrimation that basically did wonders for me were: I am who I want to be and I've all my desires.

OMG! YOU'RE THAT BITCH!

[atsukawolfcat]

In loving memoirs

Ughh just finishing Childe's character story with Teucer and omg this man had me weak before but now he has a firm iron grip over my heart. I love how he is such a family man above everything, even if he gets into a bind of his own making lmao. But anyway, I had a brainrot for a while for Childe and Teucer, and figured I might as well share as as a way to show my appreciation and adoration for this dork of a character.

Warnings: Angst, more angst, blood, battle, death. You know, the usual Childe fic requirements (jk jk but seriously though??)

Part 1 (You are here) | Part 2

(Note: LOL this was the first GIF that I found when I looked up Ajax and decided to just say f*ck it and leave it since it works sooo well.)

In essence, you are one of the many Creator's of the universe and although you didn't help or give a hand in the making of Teyvat, your best friend was the Creator and they have invited you to travel and have fun, away from all the infighting and the battlefield that was the Higher Courts of the Gods. You and your friend were part of the faction that favored protection above all, while the others were part of the faction of chaos and dismay, wishing for all things to end as they have suffered from their actions caused against others or themselves. Of course, although not part of the main clan or were the ones calling the shots, you and your friend were still part of the upper branches.. which made you both targets. And it was exhausting, so your friend offered you to have a little time off on their amazing little world they named Teyvat. After much debate, you finally said yes.

After a long time, you finally descend into Teyvat as a regular mortal to have fun in the beloved world of your best friend and reported your daily activities to your friend as you slept, as they unfortunately could not join you in the tomfoolery as only one may leave their post at a time. You spent your days peacefully (as you can be that is) and met many unique characters. And as you are a fighter yourself, you met Childe and sparred. You had fun when he was around, and although you wish you could say he does too, you didn't want to assume. You felt that spark, the attraction to him but ignored it as you remember who you are and what you deal with. Times with Childe was fun, but everything changed when Teucer had met you.

Your fondness for Teucer was growing stronger by the minute, and you both were menaces to Childe when together. After noticing his very obvious (but cute) lie, your heart squeezed. You yourself had lost a sibling, and could understand Childe in wanting to provide the best for his little treasure box, Teucer... but you knew all too well it doesn't always have a happy ending.

"Hey, play along for me? Teucer is young, too young to know the adult world just yet.. I want to protect his dreams and his vision of me." You pursed your lips, and Childe immediately noticed the flash of hurt come across your eyes.

"I understand you, Childe. Trust me when I say I do, and I too hope Teucer won't have a horrible vision of the world. But also trust me when I say this, do not keep it for too long. Children are smart little creatures, and much more emotionally and mentally capable than you give them credit for. I will play along, as a favor, but for his sake I hope you don't keep it from him forever." You walked away, leaving a shocked Childe behind.

You and your sibling, were very much like how Childe and Teucer are now. But... they grew too curious, and thanks to how you treated them and essentially gave them the biggest confidence a child could have... they met their end. You were a doting older sibling, trying to keep everything in the balance for your fellow clansmen and clanswomen, helping with children and loved them dearly. You always favored your family, as was expected of you. But alas, the call of battle was drawn and your name was summoned. You of course lied to your younger sibling, hoping that in their naivete they would sit with the elder generations safe and sound, away from the massacre that would forecast the day. However, your hope was dashed, when your sibling witnessed your dark side, and in their fear bumped into the enemy whom promptly ended their life.

You shook your head, getting rid of the horrid memories and wishing to keep the pleasant ones. Teucer was running amok, shortly after the great Toy Salesman had left to do his job as Harbinger. Not wishing for any harm to befall someone else's child, you kept a close eye on Teucer, keeping him company as long as possible. Of course, Teucer wanted his brother, and so he gave chase after learning from another Fatui member where he could be located at. You gave chase, and was able to find him as he, to your horror and his excitement, was surrounded by Ruin Guards.

"Look!! Its Mr. Cyclops!" Teucer turned to look at you with glee, and you rushed as fast as possible to try to reach him, but you were too far. "Teucer!" Hearing his brother and yourself shout, he turned back to joyfully show you both his beloved Mr. Cyclops. You summoned your power and teleported him out of the danger and switched with yourself. As the Ruin Guard all raised their arms, you turned to watch Childe grab hold of Teucer and held his face into his chest as he watched you in silent terror.

"{Name}!!!" You smiled at him, and said, "Keep him out of trouble for me would you?" The Ruin Guard all lowered their arms to smash your body, but you released all your power that flowed in your veins and was kept at bay until now. Spitting out blood, you looked up and remembered your friend's warning.

Your mortal body won't support your godly power, so I will need you to keep it away and I will grant you a Vision to fight with instead.

Gritting your teeth, you summoned your weapon and fought all the Ruin Guard. They were able to get fatal hits in, but you managed to destroy them. You could feel it now, your body was dying. Sighing, you glanced back at Childe as he was watching you amazed. Huffing, you nodded towards the ever so curious Teucer, whom was launching question after question, and the little Mr. Cyclops doll floated from him towards you. Teucer felt it leave, and immediately demanded to know what's going on. I won't let you make the same mistake, Childe. I shall leave you with a gift. Tell Teucer I had to leave for me?

Receiving the doll, you lifted your finger up to your lips in a gesture to keep it quiet, and Childe nodded. "Hey Teucer, {Name} needed your doll for something really quick. They will give it right back to you, they are just preparing a surprise." Chuckling, your focus went back to the doll. Although you weren't there, Teucer told you in complete excitement how they got the doll. Closing your eyes, you imagined the doll, and let your power flow towards it. After a couple seconds, runes surrounded the doll, brightly colored and in a completely different language than what was in Teyvat. After a little while, and much blood, your body ached and shortly screamed in agony. You added the finishing touches, and let flow of power stop.

You wiped the blood from your mouth, and tried to hide as much of the damage from yourself as possible. You wondered why you were going so far for this man and his family, but you didn't have much time. This was going to be his last favor.

"Hey Teucer, I have a surprise for you." Teucer turned around and ran towards you. Although a child, he still noticed your state. Your face was exhausted and your eyes weren't as bright. "What happened, {Name}? And where did all the Mr. Cyclops go?" Holding back a laugh, your bent down to meet Teucer's eye level, and handed him his doll.

"They had to leave, you see. They just wanted to let me know that they had a mission for me, and its super duper important. So I have to leave." Teucer pouted, and you glanced up at Childe to see him looking away from you with his hand over his face. You feel your power corrupting the mortal body, and knew you didn't have any more time. "They also wanted to let you know, that since they are taking me away, they had a little gift for you. Look." You set down the doll, and magically, it came to life. It waved at Teucer and ran towards him as he squealed in delight. "Teucer, I want you to promise me you will take care of him alright? Always keep him with you."

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you so much! Look big brother!" Teucer immediately scooped up the upgraded doll and showed his brother. You look down to notice your body is slowly disappearing, so you get up and start to walk away. Arms suddenly circled your body, as Childe hugged your figure from behind.

"Thank you." Was all he could mutter before you disappeared in his arms.

Note: Ehh this ending feels bad to me, or at least doesn't feel right. Might come back to change it or maybe will give multiple endings?

[an-emovision]

❞𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕃𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕦❞ - 𝕋𝕒𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕚 𝔸𝕞𝕒𝕛𝕚𝕜𝕚

~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀ A/N: Hi! so uhhhh had this in my drafts, im gonna post it and pretend i like it because thats how i roll. I love tamaki so much please. again, art isnt mine, credits to the original artist (idk who it is, if you know then please tell me so i can give credit) neewayz enjoy! Trigger Warnings(s): Fluff(?)  ~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀ ❞𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝐿𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑜 𝑖 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙❞ --------- You were a very outgoing person, very cheery and kind, always willing to talk to people and make friends. The almost exact opposite of Amajiki and yet he just couldn't seem to stop himself from falling for you. Every day he always found himself stealing glances of you in class, occasionally the two would lock eyes. You'd smile that brilliantly bright smile of yours and make Amajikis stomach do back flips and his heart flutter, he would always turn away before any further contact could be made. On one particular day Nejire had asked you to sit with the big three at lunch, to which you happily agreed to. Amajiki almost had a melt down when Nejire had told him, to which Mirio patted him on the back giving him a "you got this dude!" a grin, and a thumbs up. It made the poor boy feel...slightly better but as you approached them in the cafeteria Amajiki tried his best to keep himself together. Why did you have to be so attractive? how dare you, it was unfair really. He just couldn't take his eyes off you, confidence radiated from your form. Mirio once told him that if he waited to long that someone would steal you, Nejire agreed. You were after all one of the most popular students at UA, not only was your quirk amazing and your fighting skills godly but your looks where beyond words, Amajiki was painfully aware of these facts. "Hi guys!" You grinned and Tamaki almost fainted. "Glad you could join us!" Nejire smiled as she took you by the wrist and dragged you to their lunch table, you couldn't help but giggle at her excitement as she asked you a bunch of questions about you and your quirk. Most of the quirk questions she asked she most likely already knew the answer to, you four being in the same class and all. Nejire took a seat next to Mirio, across from you and Amajiki. "Soooo Y/N...Do you have a crush on anybody?" Nejire asked suddenly, making you choke on the tea you where sipping on. "I-I uh-" You tried to avoid looking at Nejires grinning features, she already knew the answer to her question. Of course you did and it was none other then the boy you where sitting next to, you didn't answer her question, simply coughed and continued to sip on your drink. She sucked her teeth, unsatisfied with your answer, if you could even call it that. Mirios eyes wandered to Nejire then to Tamaki who was silently eating his food, his face was beet red at how close you and him were, your shoulders where brushing against each other. Then Mirio looked at you, whos cheeks were dusted with a light shade of pink as you tried to brush off the last conversation topic. He rolled his eyes and had to fight the urge to just blurt out that the two of you should date each other already. Soon the lunch bell rang and it was time to head back to class, Amajiki let out a soft sigh as the four of you started heading to your shared classroom, you and Nejire chatting about a show that she had starting watching recently. Mirio fell behind them a bit so he could walk beside Tamaki. "So, When are you gonna tell them?" He asked, knowing full well that it would take some sort of miracle to get Amajiki to confess to his crush of two years. The shorter gave a small shrug before slipping his hands into his pockets. "I-I don't know...Really i don't think i ever will. " He again let out a gentle, almost sad sigh "I dont think i'm good enough for them, they're so amazing." "Aw come on Tamaki! you're part of the big three!" Mirio gently nudged him with his elbow, to which Tamakjis eyes wandered to the opposite direction. "They think you're awesome" "Well yeah but they're right behind us on the list of top students" Amajiki informed him. It was true, you were almost part of the big three yourself but you ended up failing a test by 6 points and getting knocked to fourth. You didn't mind, you where pretty comfortable in your spot. "What're you guys talkin' about?" Nejire asked, walking backwards and looking at them with the same sweet smile she always had gracing her soft features. "How awesome Y/N is" Mirio patted Amajikis back, making him let out a soft hum. You tilted your head "Oh yeah? im honored." You smiled "You guys are way cooler then i am." Nejire giggled, Tamaki stiffened at her sudden question "So which of our quirks is your favorite, Y/N?" You hummed, tapping your chin for a moment. Tamaki expected you to say Nejires quirk seeing as you two have been friends since you both stepped into class 1-A in your 1st year at UA. "I think Amajikis quirk is the coolest" You smiled to him, Tamaki noticed and then you smiled it was as if your eyes where smiling to, his heart practically exploded, barely able to get out a 'thank you'. You giggled at his shyness, finding it adorable as always. Nejire couldn't help but giggle at the two of you, Mirios grin widened as he two watched you to. "Nice choice Y/N" Nejire smiled as she took you by the hand as you four made it to class, seeing as you and her sat next to each other she lead you to your seats, ready to take on the rest of your day you sat down as class began. As the end of the day rolled around you stretched as you made your way to the front of your dorm building. You had some homework to do as well as some studying, then you thought you could train a bit then- You had bumped into someone, not to hard it just startled you a bit as you where to deep in thought, planning out the rest of your day. You quickly bowed "I'm so sorry I wasn't paying atten-...Amajiki? what're you doing here?" You had bumped into Tamaki, not only that but he was standing in front of your dorm room. "O-Oh I uh- I-I" He stumbled harshly through his words, on top of that he was mumbling. You noticed a small piece of folded paper in his slightly trembling hands and smiled, just as you noticed it he stopped mumbling and actually spoke up a bit. "I-I just- I wanted t-to give this to you" he held out the slip of paper, avoiding eye contact with you at all costs. You gently took the paper from him but before you could get another word out he scurried down the hall and disappeared around the corner. You watched him leave, letting out a small chuckle before unlocking your door and walking in, closing the door behind you with your foot and gently setting your school bag down. The day before, after class Mirio had suggested to Amajiki that he should write you a letter if he couldn't just out right tell you. "Like...A love letter?" Tamaki tilted his head. He didn't know how he felt about that, his writing skills weren't bad he just dreaded having to wait for your response, not only that but even considering rejection as a factor made him wanna puke. "Don't worry, i'm like 90% sure that even if they do reject you they'll be nice about it" Mirio gave a thumbs up as he finally convinced Amajiki to start on the letter that could make or break him. It was a huge deal, you were his first ever crush and he never thought in a million years he would be confessing to you. "They're nice about everything" Tamaki mumbled as he continued to write his letter. Miro chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Exactly, you have nothing to worry about." Tamaki wondered why he was so confident about this, maybe Mirio knew you would turn him down? Thinking about that being a possibility created a pit of nervousness in his stomach. Really it was the opposite, Mirio knew you would say yes, he was just excited to finally see his favorite ship finally become a couple. Back to the present you took a seat on your bed before unfolding the note and beginning to read it. Your eyes where wide as saucers when you finished reading it, the final sentence replaying in your mind at least a hundred times "Will you go out with me?"Butterflies invaded your stomach and your cheeks flushed, you decided to give him your answer tomorrow, wanting it to sink in that the boy you've had a crush on since the dawn of time liked you back. Amajiki was dying in his room as he awaited your answer, Mirio who had come over to study with him was laughing his ass off at the boys struggle. The next day you where standing in front of Amajikis dorm room with both Mirio and Nejire at your side, they had their phones out ready to take pictures of this momentous occasion. You took a deep breath before gently knocking on his door three times, it took him a moment or two before he opened the door, he immanently stiffened as he locked eyes with you. Bracing himself for rejection he waited for it but all he heard were the words he had been wanting to hear for the past two years "I like you to Amajiki" Nejire squealed and clapped as Mirio laughed "finally oh my god" Mirio said crossing his arms. Amajiki stood frozen, having to register what just happened, after coming to the conclusion that the love of his life did indeed just agree to date him he felt a sudden rush of adrenaline and pulled you towards him by the wrist, placing his slightly quivering lips against your silky smooth ones. Nejire practically screamed as she took about a thousand pictures, Mirio looked away jokingly acting disgusted but he couldn't hold back his happiness for his friends, they found love and he was beyond proud of Amajiki for going through with his plan.   Your eyes where wide and your face was crimson by the time Amajiki pulled away. He started to apologize profusely as he realized what he just did, which resulted in you having to tell him it was fine over and over again. The two where walking together hand in hand as you made your way to class, as shy as he may be he still wanted everyone in the world and their mother know that you belonged to him now and nothing walking this Earth was going to change that. 

[kanerallels]

Shang-Chi Freaking Rocked And Here's Why

Alright, I'm writing this post out of spite because I heard someone didn't like it. AND WE CAN'T HAVE THAT.

(I really don't understand why you wouldn't like it??? It's amazing??? And liking things is so much more fun that not liking them usually??? But hey, that's my opinion, man)

Anyhoo, prepare for a long post full of the reasons Shang-Chi was a truly stellar movie! Much though I'd love to go through every moment in the movie and scream about it for nerdy reasons, I'm going to be a professional nerd and offer reasons that will appeal to people other than just nerdy glee. I hope. (there will be some nerdy glee, though)

Shang-Chi and The Legend of the Ten Rings spoilers under the cut!

- The beginning was SO EXCELLENT. I really like that it wasn't narrated in English, because they live in China. Of course they wouldn't speak that. It's just a good detail that I appreciated

- The way the first pan through the Ten Rings' compound mirrored the last end credits scene was amazing, I ADORED IT.

- asdfghjklsdklfjlskdfjldfjsk the FIRST FIGHT SCENE. The choreography was beautiful, and I mean GORGEOUS. Wenwu and Ying Li's actors (Tony Leung Chiu-Wai and Fala Chen, respectively) somehow managed to convey their aggressive intent and the CLEAR respect and attraction that was growing between them

- Really, the choreography of all the fight scenes was incredible.(disclaimer-- I know nothing about martial arts and I won't pretend otherwise) During the bus scene, you could see the moment when Shaun made the switch from being just some guy to Shang-Chi, and it was so OBVIOUS. His confidence as he fought, how quickly he took out his enemies-- that was not, especially in Katy's eyes, something Shaun would do

- This is something one of my best friends pointed out when we went to see it-- Shang-Chi's aunt says that he looks like his mom. Not his sister. And how that must have felt for her. All this time she's been looked at as a shadow of her mother (especially by her dad) as just another reminder of her. That part, and the part where her aunt gave her the dragon scale rope dart, were kind of defining for her, in that she truly started to make her own way. Not just say she was, but do it.

- The revenge and redemption story in here was fantastic. Because Shang-Chi was legit hurt and angry and he wanted to take vengeance on his father for what he'd done. But in the end, he let go because revenge will only fill you with anger

- I really, really liked the whole "reclaiming what your parents passed on to you" parts. They were just beautiful. The fact that he couldn't defeat his dad fighting like his dad, or fighting like his mom. He had to fight as BOTH, as himself. He had to accept the gifts his father had given him, and release the pain he'd been holding onto. And only then was he able to defeat his father

- Katy's story line was super cool, and relatable. Not knowing what you want to do with your life, being afraid to try so not even bothering-- I can't be the only one out there who felt that. Which was why this one line kinda struck me, when Katy was being taught to shoot. That one old lady who's name I can't remember for the life of me said "If you aim at nothing, you hit nothing." And it's true. I mean, there's a possibility you fail, but if you never try you definitely won't succeed. Even if it's hard, you've gotta start shooting, or you'll never hit your mark. (which is a good lesson for me, frankly.)

- There was a line of Ying Nan's that I thought was particularly beautiful. During her and Shang-Chi's training session-- which I'll segue into after this note-- she said something along the lines of, "You must stop hiding from your past, nephew. It will only prolong the pain." And. I mean. She's hecking right??? Hiding from what you fear doesn't make it go away, it only makes the wait to face it longer

- I know some people who were disappointed that the warrior with the mask wasn't revealed to be anyone in particular, and I was disappointed about that at first, too. But my second time watching it, I thought-- maybe he's not supposed to be anyone. Maybe he's just a representation of all the pain Shang-Chi went through at his father's hands, of what his father did to him and let happen to him. Just a thought

- The training scene between Ying Nan and Shang-Chi was beautiful, I loved it!! Seriously, whoever choreographed the fights in this movie is amazing, major respect to them. The way Ying Nan, Ying Li and Shang-Chi's fight scenes using airbending (I know that's not what it is but I'm just gonna call it that here okay? Okay) had parts that mirrored each other? Poetic cinema

- Wenwu was... not a great dad but I really, really liked what they did with him, to the extent that I'm writing another post specifically about him. I'll link it in the notes later

- I really liked all the mythological creatures, especially since they're all from Asian mythology! I thought that was a super cool detail, personally

Okay, I think that's it, until I make my post about Wenwu who I apparently have a LOT more thoughts about than I expected. Until next time!

[traincat]

I’ve been trying to piece together a few things from your Twitter and Tumblr posts alike and still can’t make heads or tales of things, so would you mind helping out a FF & spideytorch noob? 1) what is currently happening with Johnny in the comics? (I’ve fallen head over heels for this guy, largely all your doing) 2) when’s the last time he and Peter have interacted, canon wise? (And do you think upcoming interactions are likely?) 3) your thoughts on if they’ll have him come out in the near future? (has that ‘biggest change to the fantastic four’ teaser come to pass yet?) Love all your content, thank you!

I'd say no problem but then I started thinking about this current run again and got a headache. But yes, I can do that to save you from reading it, because it is very largely not good.

So I don't think it's unfair to just flat out say the current Fantastic Four run is not very good, largely due to writer Dan Slott's efforts. Slott was previously on Amazing Spider-Man for 10 years, to mixed opinions, but a large portion of Spider-Man fandom, myself included, blames him near singlehandedly for the decline in quality of Spider-Man books over those ten years. I will say, in the interest of fairness, that Slott as a writer has an incredible fondness for the Spider-Man/Human Torch relationship, and that a lot of the recent teamups and interactions between them have been written or co-written by him. So it's all not all negative here. But in general, I personally find Slott's more recent comics (the last seven-ish years especially) to be badly plotted out, messily characterized disasters that feature characters written with all the emotion of a cardboard cutout. That's me putting it nicely.

To explain this fully, you have to understand the position Fantastic Four comics were in from the years 2015 through 2018, both in the fictional 616 universe and in the real publishing world. Following the 2015 Secret Wars event (great if you want some Johnny angst in the background of your plot), the Fantastic Four were disbanded -- Reed, Sue, and their many biological and found family children were presumed dead but in reality were remaking the multiverse, unable, for a reason that was never clearly defined, to reach home. Ben and Johnny were left on Earth. They had an unspecified falling out, likely due to Reed and Sue's absence, and went their separate ways -- Ben joined the Guardians of the Galaxy and went to space. Johnny was featured on both Inhumans and Avengers books. What's notable about this period is that it's the first time since 1961 that there was no Fantastic Four book being published by Marvel. Now the real world reason behind this is both complicated and extremely petty: Marvel really wanted the Fantastic Four film rights. Marvel denied this explanation at the time, stating that the reason was sales motivated, but it was a thoroughly flimsy excuse and Jonathan Hickman, writer of 2015's Secret Wars and overseer of the current X-Men plot, gave an interview saying the decision was film rights motivated. This decision kept the Fantastic Four books off the shelves for three years, up until the Disney-Fox merger, which secured the X-Men and Fantastic Four rights for Disney's Marvel Studios. Marvel then announced that the Fantastic Four book would be returning. So that's a little bit of background as to the precarious place the Fantastic Four currently occupy in the Marvel universe -- it's worth noting that this year is their 60th anniversary, and Marvel has done very little for it. Compare this to the X-Men, whose film rights Marvel also obtained during the Disney-Fox merger, and whose books are currently dominating the publishing lineup. The Fantastic Four definitely occupy an unpopular position, one Marvel themselves is at least partially responsible for forcing them into.

But to move back into the actual content of the book -- the readjustment period Slott wrote reintroducing the Fantastic Four into the Marvel universe can be described as clumsy, at best. It's never fully explained why Reed, Sue, and the kids couldn't return to Earth, something that was explored in Chip Zdarsky's 2017 Marvel Two-in-One, which featured Ben, Johnny, and Doom on a multiversal roadtrip to try and find their family and which I on the whole recommend, despite it having an awkward ending due to being cut short by Slott's announced Fantastic Four main title.

(Marvel Two-in-One 2017 #4)

Instead, the Fantastic Four return to a Marvel universe a little different than how they left it, with the Baxter Building -- formerly the offices of Parker Industries, the company Doc Ock started in Peter's body during Superior Spider-Man that Peter inherited after his defeat and then lost spectacularly when he trashed his own company to fight nazis (good for him) -- occupied by a different fantastic foursome in a plot that goes nowhere and does nothing. This is somewhat emblematic of the early days of Slott's run -- he introduces ideas that fail to go anywhere, including Johnny's rekindled relationship with his other best friend and former college roommate, Wyatt Wingfoot, who he was seen being very cuddly with in the early issues.

(FF 2018 #1) A small group of Fantastic Four fans have argued for a while that if Marvel was to have Johnny come out, a relationship with Wyatt would feel very natural -- they're already close, with Wyatt being an important Fantastic Four supporting character since the '60s. I have some further analysis here on the conspiracy theory that Johnny and Wyatt were supposed to be in relationship at the beginning of this run but that that plot was, for whatever reason, nixed. I don't know that I entirely believe this theory, for the record -- but I do think the pieces line up remarkably well.

Anyway, that didn't/hasn't yet happened, obviously. Slott instead for the most part put Johnny on the back burner for the beginning of his run, up until the Spyre arc, which I have reason to believe is the main story he pitched that he credits with securing him the Fantastic Four title. The Spyre arc suggests that the Fantastic Four's failed space exploration during which they got their powers wasn't just to beat the commies to the moon, as Lee and Kirby envisioned (simpler days), but to reach a specific planet outside of our galaxy. When the team sets out to conquer this mission, they arrive at the planet, but are quickly captured. The planet, they find out, operates like a soulmate AU -- everyone has a fated person that they are matched to via a gold armband. Reed and Sue are soulmates (and Ben is confined to an underground subterranean with the other monsters, because this is a Fantastic Four comic) while it's discovered! Shocker! That Johnny is actually the soulmate of the one the planet's inhabitants, a winged woman named Sky, with the suggestion that this is both why Johnny's previous relationships have never worked and why he loves space exploration -- he was just trying to get to his Soulmate TM.

(FF 2018 #15) "What's going on here? Where are my clothes?" As you can see, this didn't start off super great, with Johnny being separated from his family, stripped naked, and put in Sky's bed with a soulmate armband slapped on him. Did I mention they're only removable if your soulmate takes it off for you? And that Sky has consistently refused despite Johnny asking her to? Yeah. It's bad. (I think it's important to note Johnny's long history as a victim of assault plays into this narrative, whether or not Slott is personally holding that in mind while writing, which I don't believe he is. cw in the linked post for discussions of sexual assault.) There's an additional issue here in that Slott has a history of problematic writing regarding women of color, featuring characters he's created to act as love interests being oversexualized, infantilized, villainized, or some mix of all three, with two examples of this phenomena being Cindy Moon and Lian Tang, both of whom he introduced in quick succession in Amazing Spider-Man. Slott certainly didn't have to write Sky as manipulative or controlling towards Johnny, but that's what he chose to do, and that factors into the bigger picture of unfortunate themes in his writing.

Sky returns to Earth with the Fantastic Four despite Johnny appearing unenthused about the idea and initially generally reluctant to interact with her. Apparently they went on a few dates after this and kind of made up. I don't know because I stopped reading for about ten issues in there but I feel confident I missed very little. It's hard to talk about the Sky plot without referencing Johnny's previous interactions with a character named Lyja, a Skrull whose relationship to Johnny I have a long breakdown of here. It's doubly hard, because Lyja actually showed back up in Fantastic Four during this plot. Lyja's modus operandi has remained consistent throughout almost all of her appearances, which I guess makes sense, because she literally has no storylines that do not involve her being obsessed with Johnny, and this recent story isn't any different: Lyja shows up, Lyja disguises herself as another woman in Johnny's life to get close to Johnny, Lyja gets caught and claims it was all fine because she did it for love. This time she disguised herself as Sky.

(FF 2018 #32) Not gonna lie, kind of proud of him for this one. That's one of my problems with Slott -- very occasionally, he busts out good moments, only to undermine them with the rest of his narrative.

In the same issue, Alicia Masters, the first woman Lyja impersonated in order to get close to Johnny, uses her supervillain stepfather's radioactive clay to control Lyja's mind and send her back to space, and I do think she utilized girl power when she did this. Johnny, left reeling after Lyja's latest attempts to trick him into a relationship, ends this issue by sleeping with Victorious, Dr. Doom's right hand woman.

I know she pegged him. I know it. This scene was a little controversial in Johnny fandom, because a lot of people viewed it as Johnny cheating on Sky and thought that that action was out of character for Johnny. I'm personally of a little different opinion, which is that regardless of whether or not you view Johnny and Sky in a committed enough relationship that Johnny's tryst would count as infidelity when all Johnny and Sky are bound by are magic plot soulmate bracelets, I think Lyja's involvement changes things significantly when it comes to Johnny's characterization. All of Johnny's "playboy" periods, if we can call them that, coincide directly with Lyja having been in and then left his life again, which I think makes a certain amount of sense -- it's Johnny trying to wrest control back after a situation where he had none. None of this is explicitly canon, I have to note, but sometimes in comics you have to do the work yourself. So I think this is a case of something being accidentally extremely in character that Slott accidentally stumbled into because he had these love triangles in mind, not because he put a lot of thought into it.

Speaking of love triangles! Johnny sleeping with Victorious gets more complicated when Dr. Doom announces his intent to marry Victorious -- not because he has any romantic interest in her (this engagement caused a lot of uproar in Fantastic Four because Victorious had been previously referred to as being like Doom's adopted daughter) but in order to install her as Latverian regent in his absence. I'm not going to lie, I love a political wedding. Victorious, for some reason, thinks Doom will be deeply upset that she slept with some closeted blond twink and the member of the Fantastic Four he views least as an enemy and more as an annoyance. Johnny, who Sky is currently not talking to because she "felt" him sleeping with Victorious through their magic plot soulmate bracelets, also feels nervous about Doom finding out about this, which I guess is slightly more valid. Anyway, for some completely ridiculous reason, Victorious decides the best time to tell Doom about this little indiscretion is when they're standing at the altar, which coincidentally the Fantastic Four are also standing at, because Doom asked Reed to be his best man in a not at all homoerotic little setup involving midnight swordfighting and Reed slipping Doom's emerald ring onto his own finger. Sorry to sidetrack into DoomReed territory here but it's just like. It's just a lot.

(FF 2018 #33) Also, Ben walked the bride down the aisle. :,) Look at his gigantic hand.

Anyway then Doom decides he's going to kill everyone in a completely reasonable and not at all overblown reaction to Johnny and Zora having what was most likely both disappointing for Zora and weepy for Johnny sex. And that brings us up to where Fantastic Four comics left us yesterday -- in answer to your "big change" question, that's most likely coming up in the next issue, so it hasn't come to pass yet.

Having gotten all that out of the way -- the last time Johnny and Peter interacted canon-wise was in the recent Empyre Fallout Fantastic Four, at the end of the Empyre event:

It was cute! Slott does right good interactions between them. This is possibly the Stockholm Syndrome talking. I don't know if more interactions are likely imminent -- the Empyre event was fairly recent. On the other hand, Slott does like writing interactions between them. So I'd give it about a 50/50 shot. I was skimming the letter page in the latest issue and someone wrote in asking if Peter was likely to appear in the pages of Fantastic Four again any time soon, so there is definitely a demand.

As for Johnny coming out -- I don't know. It's not a call I feel comfortable making at this moment, which I guess means I wouldn't bet money on it. I'd like to say yes, especially because I think Slott set up, whether that was his intention or more likely not, several good places in his run where Johnny could have come out. The beginning, when he's implied to be living with Wyatt again and where he and Wyatt are paralleled against Ben and Alicia. Ben's bachelor party, where Johnny laments not finding the right person -- specifically person and not woman -- and where Ben tells him to "be brave, Johnny Storm." And the soulmate planet plot, where I think could have had a very different and much better ending if Johnny had told Sky that she couldn't be his romantic soulmate, because he knows he wants to be with a man. But those are just places that I think would have made good opportunities for a coming out story. Instead, Johnny's been involved (dubiously) with three different women over the space of the last 10 issues, which is more heterosexuality at one time than he's been confronted with in the last 60 years. So my thoughts are still that it's going to happen eventually, but quite possibly not anytime soon.

Hope that helps! And that my incredibly long answer about what's currently going on with Johnny in comics sheds some light on things!

[darkcircles4lyfe]

retrospective & predictions

Since we're on a hiatus week (between 320 and 321) I feel like waxing poetic about the depth and growth of bkdk for a bit. Especially because it seems like we’re right on the edge of their biggest development yet, I’m getting the urge to lay all my perspectives and insights I’ve picked up from others out on the table. This is ultimately only my subjective interpretation of subtextual material in canon, though. If you’ve never quite understood what people see in their dynamic and you’re actually open to hearing me out, maybe from this you can at least see where we’re coming from. And if you don’t like my takes after all, well, we’ll see who’s right in the coming chapters, won’t we? What I have to say can be taken platonically or romantically; I appreciate both. 

putting it under the cut, since it’ll be long:

At the risk of projecting, I want to start by examining a couple things based partly on personal experience.

From many different directions, I often hear people expressing that Deku’s persistent attachment and admiration for Bakugou is baffling at best. Despite the bullying, despite Bakugou’s loud, rude, and uncompromising personality, he still puts effort into their relationship and frequently describes him as amazing. It seems like Deku himself is aware of this as he’s said things along the lines of how he’s difficult, BUT... etc. Although I don’t think it’s exactly that Deku finds Bakugou’s personality hard to be around, but that he’s deliberately expressing patience for Bakugou’s emotional turmoil. 

I have to say I know what this sort of patience is like, as I went through it with someone I love. I only chose to put up with their behavior because I decided the possibility of what our relationship could be was worth it. I wasn’t blind or submissive to how they treated me, and I wasn’t coerced. I simply expressed myself and established my boundaries while still allowing them the opportunity to join me in my world once they got over their own hangups. And guess what? It worked out in the end. That doesn’t mean there aren’t circumstances where it’s better to cut ties, but I want to stress that true reconciliation is possible sometimes. I used to worry that other people around me thought I was delusional for seeking it, but what really helped was my therapist reminding me that I’m smart and strong. So I think Deku deserves to feel the same. In a way this is his whole mission in life, his approach to being a hero as well as his personal relationships.

Let me also be clear though that I don’t mean Deku is only tolerating Bakugou’s personality, his mannerisms, the parts of him that will likely never change. I’m drawing a line between those things and his emotional state (they so rarely align anyway, but I’ll get to that later). In fact, I think Bakugou’s general attitude is part of what Deku admires. This is gonna be hard to explain without inserting personal experience too, sorry. As a writer myself I’ve noticed I’m drawn to writing characters that are brazen and bold and don't mind telling people off. Really it’s because I operate in the world in the polar opposite way. I try not to draw attention to myself, I’m quiet, and I’m a people-pleaser. People who project confidence, especially in an impolite sort of way, fascinate me. It’s good to take cultural context into account, too: I've heard people who’d know better than me that part of the reason Bakugou is the most popular character in the Japanese fandom is likely because he contradicts a lot of their social norms. His disregard is refreshing and cathartic. I can speculate that Deku has a similar point of view based on what he thinks but does not admit about Bakugou being his image of victory and how this sometimes makes him mimic Bakugou’s speech and mannerisms: 

There’s also the bit in this fight where Deku realizes he's the only one able to receive Bakugou’s emotions. This is because he’s the most intimately familiar with him and his situation, but I think there’s another layer. Deku, as we know, has a self-sacrificing tendency, and in the current chapters we’re seeing the worst side of that. But let’s also not forget that to an extent, it can be a positive trait: resilience. When it comes to Bakugou, he has an almost comical ability to dodge the potential fallout of his outbursts. The example we all jump to (and fight about..) is how in ch1, apart from the initial shock of Bakugou suggesting he jump off the roof, the most he reacts is to criticize him for saying such a ridiculous thing. However, I think their interaction post- sludge villain is a lot more interesting:

Note two things: 1, in his head, Deku is practically making fun of how Bakugou’s acting as he stomps away without waiting for a reply. It doesn’t faze him. 2, Deku thinks, optimistically, that he can now focus on a different career choice. This is astonishing really. Up to this point, none of Bakugou’s attempts to put him down have worked; he just kept pursuing his dream. The only reason Deku concedes in this moment it because for the first time, he has been shown that he really couldn't do anything in a fight against a villain. All Might told him he couldn't be a hero (although he’s literally about to take that back in the next few pages lol) and the other heroes at the scene gave him a lecture about it too. It was those experiences, and not Bakugou’s words, that truly affected him. And when All Might tells Deku he can be a hero after all, it’s not thinking of Bakugou’s bullying that makes him sob and fall to his knees, it’s the memory of his own mom never telling him those words he so desperately needed to hear. Having spent most of their lives together, Deku must have been aware all this time that Baukgou was influenced by larger societal forces rather than a core judgement, so he didn’t take it personally. He separated the person from the action, and because he’s resilient and patient, he is thus equipped to handle Bakugou’s emotions. It’s a testament to his maturity and emotional intelligence, really. 

But I can almost hear some of you saying, “that doesn’t mean Deku should have to be the bigger person here!” Correct! Just because Deku is perfectly alright bearing all of that, doesn’t mean atonement-era Bakugou sees it this way. We can track his awareness of Deku’s care and selflessness as follows-

The bridge scene, when they’re little kids: Bakugou conflates Deku’s heroism with pity, and subsequently thinks Deku is looking down on him because Bakugou’s own insecurity makes him defensive.

The Sludge Villain, and also Deku vs. Kacchan Part 1: Bakugou witnesses first-hand how easily Deku jumps to risk his own life, but still thinks he’s being looked down on. 

The Sports Festival: Bakugou fights Uraraka and recognizes her endurance strategy and refusal to give up as very Deku-like. He’s half right. He thinks Deku advised her in the fight, when in reality she just mimicked Deku because she admired him. I want to draw attention to his very sober comment about her not being frail. It’s a great endearment of Uraraka’s character and Bakugou’s respect for her when others didn’t take “fighting a girl” seriously, but it also reflects on his opinion of Deku. Deku isn’t weak either. He never was.

Deku vs. Kacchan Part 2: Deku finally corrects him about the whole looking-down-on-him thing, and Bakugou is informed that Deku’s selflessness is in fact the reason All Might chose him. Since Bakugou had been in search of what he himself was “doing wrong” for All Might to favor Deku over him, he now has to reconcile the fact that selflessness is a heroic trait, and moreover something he lacks. This is also possibly the first time Bakugou is able to see his past actions toward Deku as bullying since he previously thought it was more mutual. Additionally, Bakugou can now link Deku’s selfless behavior to what he perceived as pity/contempt, and realize that Deku has been giving him A LOT of grace. Maybe too much. Maybe more than Bakugou deserves, and definitely more than Deku should have to. Holy heck- now Bakugou has to figure out how to live up to all the faith that’s been placed in him. 

Subtextually, we can see Bakugou’s feelings about atonement reflected in the Todoroki family:

1, Shouto is another example of Deku growing a friendship using his selflessness (since their fight in the sports festival) and their relationship is being acknowledged here where it hasn’t been in Bakugou’s situation. Perhaps Bakugou is wishing it could be so simple for him, to be able to thank him for being his friend like that. Deku saying the pleasure is all his also probably calls to mind how a mere apology from Bakugou would probably be dismissed because that’s just the kind of accommodating person Deku is. Bakugou has to operate more quietly in order to actually make up for their past. I personally don’t interpret this scene as Bakugou being jealous of Deku and Shouto’s friendship, exactly, just the lack of emotional baggage. Side note, Deku and Fuyumi are kinda similar in their desire to repair relationships. I like that she’s the one to give him some credit. 

2, With the common terminology, this can be interpreted as Bakugou receiving a model for atonement, one that is about action, and nothing to do with receiving favor or forgiveness. It’s a sense of duty. 

Many of the above sentiments are repeated in the flashback conversation between All Might and Bakugou right before Bakugou’s sacrifice. 

Bakugou acknowledges his bullying and that it happened because of his own insecurities, but aside from that, it’s interesting he neither confirms nor denies All Might’s suggestion that he’s trying to atone, or that Deku doesn’t see it that way. All Might is a bit of an unreliable mentor sometimes, but I don’t think he’s misreading here. Rather, Bakugou is displaying his tendency to hold back when talking about things that would make him really emotional. Besides, admitting to what he’s doing kind of defeats the purpose. He isn’t seeking acknowledgement. All Might has gotten to the crux of the issue here when pointing out that Deku doesn’t recognize the atonement, likely because Deku doesn't think Bakugou even needs to atone. Am I reading into it too much to say Bakugou looks wistful at this? It’s kinda frustrating sometimes trying to interpret Bakugou’s actions because he’s so paradoxical. Loud and in your face, but also extremely reserved. Sometimes I feel like I’m grasping at thin air, but hey, being hard to figure out is part of his intrigue as a character. The simplest way to look at him is to assume that unless he’s really showing vulnerability, he’s probably deflecting and hiding something.

Speaking of Bakugou’s tendency to to hold back emotional stuff, there’s his apparent lack of issue with Deku calling him Kacchan. Maybe to begin with, in his warped perception of things where he thought they hated each other, Bakugou saw it as Deku’s way of getting back at him for calling him “useless,” and didn't dare give any indication that it actually bothered him. However... consider how betrayed Bakugou has appeared when he was noticeably thinking Deku was looking down on him- the bridge scene, and the beginning of their first year at UA when he thought Deku was hiding a quirk all along. He looks shocked and hurt. That kind of emotion couldn’t be invoked by someone Bakugou didn’t actually care about his relationship with. “Kacchan” comes from a long time ago, before their relationship was strained, so it’s connotations are pure. Maybe somewhere deep down, Bakugou has always been hoping that Deku’s continued use of the nickname was not simply a matter of habit or teasing, but a vestige of friendship they’re both clinging to, and Bakugou himself was too afraid to admit to himself that he felt this way about it, so he mostly ignored it. (These are not original thoughts I am having here lol, this is a common interpretation. I’m just laying everything out like I said.) 

And now we turn to the current situation. Personally, I’ve been looking frantically back and forth between them wondering who’s going to break down first (Deku vs. Kacchan Part 3, this time it’s just a fight to get the other person to cry? ha.) Both have looked like they’re approaching a breaking point for some time. Also, I’ve addressed this before, but I think it’s significant that Bakugou is no longer wearing his mask with his hero costume, in contrast to Deku recently donning his own. It feels symbolic of Bakugou about to be upfront about how he feels.

The question is, what is it going to take to get Deku to accept help? If you ask me, Deku has dug himself so deeply into the I’m-doing-this-for-everyone-else’s-safety-and-smiles hole, no common sense argument can possibly reach him. By the end of 320, Deku’s mask is off, and we can see how desperate he truly is. But he has not cried, yet. I predict we’re going to see a bit more of his defiance, this time on full display on his face as the remaining class members and his other friends take their turns. But then I think Bakugou has to be the one to break down so Deku can witness his actions having the opposite effect he intended. People have been pointing out that Deku is currently ignoring Bakugou, and oof, that’s gotta be intentional. Regardless of what Bakugou says, it’s going to be wrapped up not only in his understanding of Deku’s self-sacrifice, but also the betrayal Bakugou feels at being ignored/left behind that ironically echoes his previous perception of being looked down on, as well as a need to express how much he cares about Deku before it’s too late. He must show that the two of them are inseparable because they both act to save each other without thinking, and both feel like losing the other would be like dying themselves. All Might may have been right when he told them they could learn from each other after Deku vs. Kacchan Part 2, but he didn’t fully realize that idea by making sure they stuck by each other for support and balance. 

I can’t wait to see what it’ll be like when they do finally get to that point, totally in synch and in tune with each other. They’ll be a powerful force no one is quite prepared for. Who knows when that will be, or even which chapter will be their big showdown, but I know the day is coming.

To speculate even further, I think the 2nd user is going to be really important really soon. And no I don’t mean to suggest that the 2nd user is Bakugou. But I do think their resemblance is key. Okay this is gonna be convoluted...

See how 2nd is the only one still standing? I think that’s symbolic of him withholding his quirk. Deku may not even know what it is at this point, let alone have unlocked it. Given that 2nd approves of Deku’s strategy at this point, it seems odd for him to withhold his quirk based on lack of faith. I think if his quirk was something that would help Deku in combat, he would have shown it to him already like the others did. So what if those gauntlets of his are support items that are meant to make up for his lack of a combat-oriented quirk, rather than to augment it? Mind you, I still have no idea what his mysterious power might be, but I’m dead set on it not being explosion-y. Regardless, I think 2nd looking like Bakugou is more about aiding some grand visual parallel, so! You know how 2nd and 3rd were probably intending to do away with Yoichi but 2nd changed his mind as soon as they made eye contact? This is really a long shot, but I wonder if 2nd’s quirk has something to do with that exchange. Maybe it’s something psychological, or some 6th sense about people he meets. So... in that way 2nd’s quirk could play a role in bkdk reaching a deeper understanding? Idk! But it could be significant at least that 2nd left Yoichi’s question about why he reached out to him unanswered. 

One more thing- while I was gathering screenshots I found this. I think “you’re the last one I’m telling” might be foreshadowing for Bakugou revealing his hero name to Deku and it being a Big Deal:

As for other lingering threads in the overall plot right now, such as the UA traitor, Stain, whatever Tsuyu is apparently about to do, All Might’s car maybe in the background of the last page of 320... man I have no idea. All I know is there’s literally 320 chapters’ worth of build-up to this confrontation that can’t be interrupted. 

See you next week <3

[lovenhlboys]

From a Distance (E.Pettersson X Reader)

Chapter 1

Masterlist

Tag list form

A/n: hello peoples!! I’m so excited to FINALLY post the first chapter of this fic!!! I’ve been working on it for a long time, and after a few unpleasant delays, it’s finally happening 😁. While this isn’t my first fic, this is my first NHL fic, and the first fic I’m posting on Tumblr, so I’m a little nervous. This first chapter is mostly the set up to the main story, this is reader’s side of things with a flashback story. Chapter two will be mostly from Elias’s point of view. The rest of the chapters will switch back and fourth between the two.

CREDIT: Finally, before we get started I have to shout out my proofreaders. Y’all put up with me and my insanity: @siriushxney @iateyourdonuts @petey-patty @hufflepuff-girlx @cherrylita @immmbabyyygraceee @💕💕And specifically @imagines-r-s ASH!!! Babes, you have been the best and most supportive friend I could’ve asked for during this. You boosted my confidence about this fic and I have no idea what I’d do without you 😁😁

Without further ado, let’s get started shall we!! (Sorry for the long A/N, it’ll only be for this first chapter)

Paring: Elias Pettersson X Fem!Reader

Warnings: lots of cursing, friends with benefits but like...just cuddling???, references to iCarly, mentions of One Tree Hill.

Genere: enemies-ish —>friends —> lovers

Legend: (i suggest having these ready before you read)

Y/C/N/N= your cute nick name, only Markstrom calls you it (you’ll see why) this can be either a pet name you like, or a nick name you already have.

Y/N/N= your nick name, Brock, Quinn, and a few others call you this, it’s more of a playful name. Again, this can be a nickname you already have (if you don’t have one I suggest something stupid (sounds like something Stech or Brock would come up with)

Y/N= this is your first name, only Elias calls you this unless it’s a serious situation, or you’re in trouble, or Brock is being an ass. (If it wasn’t clear before...your last name is Boeser)

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: you have a hardcore crush on your brothers best friend, who also happens to barely speak to you...it’s a slight predicament.

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(This is set in the 2021 season, however, because of my denial, Marky and Stech are still in Vancouver and were never traded... also no Covid. however the season was still delayed just to make it easier to follow.)

Present (Feb. 2021)

You’ve always been best friends with your older brother, you never had any real issues when you were younger and you were inseparable. So much so in fact, that once you graduated early a little less than two years ago (June 2019), he asked you to move to Vancouver and live with him. He was always so protective of you and you appreciated everything he has done in your life. One of the best parts about Brock being your older brother was the people he introduced to you. You aren’t very social and god knows how much of a people person your brother is. Once you had moved in, Brock quickly introduced you to the team. And with your double major in Statistics: Data Sciences and Sports Management, you were able to secure a job with the team. Quickly, you found yourself with a second family, one with many members.

Quinn Hughes is your best friend. when you met him about a year and a half ago, you hit it off immediately. With both of you being the same age and not very social, there was an obvious connection there. When Brock and The boys  go out, it is you and Quinn who stay in and watch shows on the couch (your favorite being New Girl). Huggy Bear is so sweet and you tell him EVERYTHING, even things you’d never tell your brother. You are still thanking the draft lottery every day that the Canucks received the 7th overall pick that gave you your bestie.

Thatcher Demko AKA Dems AKA Thatch AKA baby goalie is the sweetest and most hilarious guy you know. He is always looking after you just like Brock, but he is also one of the most annoying guys you know. When you’d first met you had the biggest crush on him. You told Quinn as much and he gave you so much shit for it. That crush was short-lived though, once you found out how obnoxious he could be. You still love him, just as a friend. Though Quinn never forgets to remind you of the crush that once was.

Bo Horvat is like another big brother to you. Sure you have Brock, but he’s your best friend. Bo, however, is the person you go to when you needed advice. Holly is one of the only WAGs you’ve become close with. She and you consistently have wine and gossip nights, of which Quinn is sometimes in attendance. Plus, you and Quinn are an amazing babysitting team for Gunnar if you have anything to say about it. 

Troy Stecher is the annoying older brother you never had. He always makes fun of you, calls you names, and bullies you in the loving way brothers do. And he never hesitates to come to you if he ever needs girl advice, which seems to happen a lot.

JT was just like Bo, except he is waaay more protective of you, maybe even a bit more than brock. He doesn’t have a sister and when you met, he made it his job to never see you get hurt. Seriously, one day a guy was bugging you at the bar, and both Brock and Bo were struggling to hold him back when he saw him slap you on the ass as you walked away. 

Jacob Markstrom, AKA Marky, AKA Giraffe (pronounced like it is in one of your favorite vines), AKA your cuddle buddy for the past few seasons. Both being single, you felt lonely sometimes and Quinn wasn’t much of a hugger (despite what the nickname might have you believe). Thatcher had offered but Marky, though just as social, is much more laid back. It also helps that he is 6’6 putting him over a foot taller than you. So during movie nights, or late nights at the bar, he is the side you lean on. Of course, you made it abundantly clear to most of the boys and yourselves that you were just friends. As sweet as he was and as great of a boyfriend as he would’ve been, he wasn’t quite your type and your personalities clashed.

Then there was Elias Pettersson, the tall, skinny, Swedish guy you knew as Petey. The guy who looked at you often and barely spoke a word directed towards you. He was Brock's best friend and he came over all the time, you didn’t have an issue with him, and you couldn’t deny he was funny, and from what you’ve heard he is a very kind person. So naturally, he was exactly your type. You’ve had a massive crush on him for a while now, somehow despite the lack of conversation. And the few times he has talked to you, he’s seemed so perfect, but there are only a few times you can remember. 

Right now, as you're on your way to the Canuck’s break room your brother texted you to meet him in, you try to recall those few times, specifically the one where your crush on him truly developed.

--------------------------

FLASHBACK (some time in January, 2020)

--------------------------

You, Quinn, and Jacob were laying on the L-shaped couch in ‘The Boeser apartment’, you were cuddled under the blanket with Jacob, laying on the section perpendicular to the TV, your heads at the corner. Quinn was on the other side of the couch, his head right next to yours. it was about 7 o’clock and the episode of One Tree Hill you were watching had just ended and you three had not eaten dinner yet. As the countdown for the next episode started, your stomach growled and you got a look from Quinn and a giggle from Jacob. 

“You hungry Y/C/N/N?” Jacob asked.

You looked up at him and giggled, “maybe just a little bit.”

“Y/N/N, you know what sounds amazing?” Quinn asked, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You turned to each other and you both smirked knowing you were thinking the same thing.

“Spaghetti tacos!!” You both said. 

Ever since you were about 10 and you watched iCarly on TV, you had always wanted to try them. It had become an inside joke between you and Quinn for quite some time as he had the same desire as you to see how good they actually were.

“We should totally try them tonight!!” Quinn was quite excited.

“I’m so confused right now,” Jacob chimed in.

“They’re from a show! They take spaghetti and put it in taco shells,” you explained.

“Ahh, hence the name.” he nodded.

“Exactly,” Quinn said.

You jumped up from the couch excitedly and ran straight to your kitchen.

“Ok, we have spaghetti, spaghetti sauce, ground beef, taco shells, aaaand..... by chance do either of you know how to make good meatballs?”

“You’re asking the Swedish guy if he knows how to make meatballs?” Jacob replied.

“Not Swedish meatballs, Italian, stupid Giraffe,” you retorted. 

“Gross,” he said with a disgusted look.

“Ooo my mom made the best Italian meatballs, let me call her to see if she can send me the recipe!” Quinn said with a big smile.

Quinn exited the kitchen and ran to your room to call his mom. 

“You know, I’ve never seen him so excited about anything,” Marky said with a laugh. 

“Quinn loves his food,” you replied.

“Are Brock and Thatch having dinner with us ?”

“I’ll ask.”

You started boiling the water for the pasta, and you cooked part of the ground beef for the meat sauce. Then you texted Brock:

Y/N/N: hey, you want me to make you dinner

Brock: Yeah, who all is there?

Y/N/N: the usual

Brock: Huggy and Marky?

Y/N/N: yep, so do you want some?

Brock: Yeah, and make enough for another person too

Y/N/N: ok

You figured it was Dems since that’s who he went to hang out with when he left 5 hours ago. 

You continued to cook when Quinn came in and grabbed a bunch of stuff from the pantry and cabinets. “Did your mom tell you how to make them?” you questioned your frantic best friend.

“Yes she did and she sent me the recipe too.”

“Coolio,” you reply.

------------------------

You were almost done cooking, the pasta was done, Quinn had put his meatballs in the oven and there were only 5 minutes left on the timer. And the sauce had about 2 minutes to simmer.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot what to do when they're almost done, she does this thing, I have to call her,” Quinn said with a panicked look on his face. He ran back to your room.

The front door to your apartment opened quickly, both boys laughing, “ahh, shit,  my brother’s calling me,” Brock said as he ran back to his room.

“Why does everyone feel the need to exit the room for phone calls?” you asked Jacob.

He shrugged with a giggle, “I don't know, maybe they don’t trust us,” he said in a sarcastically dramatic tone grasping his chest.

The door closed slowly and you glanced at the doorway where you thought you’d see the ever adorable goalie, Thatcher Demko, instead, you saw the adorable, slender, tall blonde you’d seen all the time, but never had a one on one interaction with... except the first time you met, when he told you that you looked pretty.

“Hi, Petey!” Jacob said as he slipped behind you to watch you mix the sauce, he stood over you looking at the sauce and put his hand on your waist.

“Hi,” he replied, his smile from before had faded.

“Looks so good Y/C/N/N,” Jacob said with a kiss on your cheek, a regular action. 

“Thanks, Giraffe, can you grab the taco shells?”

He grabbed them easily from the top shelf (tall ass bitch -_-), and moved behind you, placing his hands on your waist yet again, to move you to the side. “I've gotta run to the bathroom, but I’ll be right back”

“Ok, you have fun with that,” you said with a wink.

Suddenly, was only you and Elias in the room, and the silence was deafening.

“So what are we eating?” he said, pulling your attention to his bright blue eyes.

“Um, spaghetti tacos, they're from a tv sho-”

“Like from iCarly?” he interrupted.

“...Uh yeah? How'd you know?” you couldnt pull your attention away from his eyes, ‘they are just so beautiful,’ you thought somehow you hadnt noticed this within the on and a half years you’d known him.

“We also get Nickelodeon, you know,” he said while throwing you a smirk that made your stomach flip. 

“Oh, I didn't know that,” you replied, feeling just a little embarrassed. 

“iCarly was my favorite, actually.” 

“Yeah, it was mine too,” you said, smiling back, looking at the way he just lit up your kitchen with his presence.

You both stood there for a second just looking at the other, “So how long have-,” he started.

“OKAY,” Quinn unknowingly interrupted, “so she told me what to do, turns out I have to put sauce over them for the last 2 minutes, so Y/N/N can you just put a tablespoon of sauce on each ball then put them back in for two minutes?” 

“Yeah of course. Elias, you were saying?” you looked back at the Swede.

“Oh it's nothing,” he looked down at his shoes. 

“Ok, Y/N/N you need to call mom and tell her we’re fine and that she doesn't need to worry about us please, Paul says she’s stressing,” Brock said as he entered the room.

“When is she not stressing about us? I’ll call her after dinner, how's dad?”

“Doin’ good, nothing has changed or progressed or whatever since we were home last,” Brock moved and sat on the couch letting out a big sigh.

“That’s good,” you let out a sigh.

“Petey, come here, we’re watching Gossip Girl” Brock shouted at the Swede.

“Ooo what episode are you guys on?” you asked. Brock had mentioned how he was making him watch the show you two had watched about 5 times together. 

“Just after Chuck gets Dan kidnapped at Yale.” 

“Oh so you still hate Chuck?” you asked Elias.

“Ew, yeah...wait is that gonna change?” Petey said with a scoff.

“Uh....,” you stalled.

“Y/N shut up, don't spoil it,” Brock interrupted before you could make it worse.

“Ok well, dinner is ready so just start the show after and we can all watch it together.”

--------------------------

“Oh my god, these are actually amazing,” Quinn said with his mouth full.

“I know, I did not think this was gonna taste good,” Jacob added.

“Hey!” you said, offended.

“Y/C/N/N, you know I love your cooking, it was the idea of the meal that I doubted,” Jacob said leaning into your side and putting his arm around your shoulder.

“Mmmhmm, suuure,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Hallå Marky, ni två är söta (hey Marky, you two are cute),” Petey said, confusing you, Quinn and Brock with the sudden change in language.

Jacob, being oblivious to what Petey was implying, just said, “tack broder (thanks, bro).”

Little did you know what was going on in Elias’s head.

--------------------------

PRESENT

--------------------------

Before that night, you never really thought of Elias in a romantic way. You'd been around him quite a lot, seeing as how, seemingly, is in your apartment more than his own. Sure, you knew he was cute and very sweet from what you'd seen, but up until that point, you'd never had a one-on-one interaction with him. That interaction, however small, was the beginning of an obsessive crush. Quinn was the first to point it out, you started listening closely any time he talked, attempting to converse with him, and thinking about him on a daily basis even when you didn't see him. And due to your stubbornness, no matter how unrequited your crush seemed, it never faltered. You had always thought he hated you, or maybe he just tolerated you because you were Brock’s sister, and you were always around. 

However, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

--------------------------

Tag list: @calgarycanuck @suffering-canucks-fan

[vanillann]

5 star conversation (reggie peters x reader)

I SAW THIS REQUEST AND SCREAMED I WAS SO EXCITED!!

word count: 4.9k (i can’t believe i wrote that much omg)

5 star conversation masterlist

place one: a 1 star motel

“I can’t believe this!”

Julie and I gave each other warnings look as he leaned against each other. That was Flynn’s “Something is going wrong and it’s the other person's fault” yell, and with how stressful the bus ride was I could tell this was worse.

“What’s wrong?” Reggie leaned over in his chair, his hood covering his face as we hid from camera flashes in the corner of the fancy hotel.

Julie shrugged, looking back to her phone and the Instagram edits of the band she had been tagged in.

“Guys, guys,” Alex did a awkward jog as he came back from the bathroom, the iconic pink hoodie pulled over his head and the front of his baseball hat sticking out.

“What?”

“I don’t think we have rooms,” Alex fell back beside Luke, his anxiety radiating from one person to another.

“Huh?”

We’ve had the tour planned out for months, each state planned and perfectly laid out for the perfect amount of work and play. There wasn’t a chance that we didn’t have the room for tonight, impossible.

“Flynn is too smart for that,” I leaned back, ignoring the way Reggie still leaned forward while his elbows on his knees watching me. It was weird, I knew it was Reggie but the way he sat and the fact I couldn’t see his face made it feel like a different person.

“(Y/N) right, Flynn way to put together for that,” Julie brushed off, hitting my shoulder to show me the edit she had found. It was of Reggie and I from a few shows ago, Flynn had been taking videos to help keep the fan active on us and she caught a video of Reggie and I fake rocking out on the empty stage.

It moved from that to a picture of Reggie and me in the costume store for the Halloween show, little fairy-like hearts floating around us. I smiled at the thought, grabbing Julie’s phone and sending the edit to me.

“Well, we don’t have rooms,” Flynn walked back, not giving any warning as she collapsed on top of Julie and I.

“I told you!”

Alex stood up, pointing his finger between Julie and I, a little smirk forming before he realized the weight of the words.

“What happened?”

“They didn’t tell me that rooms held for over 2 months have to be reinstated two week before or they cancel it,” Flynn didn’t move, laying over Julie and I with a broken spirit.

“I was looking forward to sleeping in a room, those bed’s on the bus suck,” Luke crossed his arms and pouted, looking like a kicked puppy.

“I don’t mind them,” Reggie smiled, bouncing in his seat slightly.

“It’s because you’d never fallen off the top,” Alex bit back, still mad about the sharp turns that have sent him flying the last few nights.

Flynn finally moved off Julie and I, saying nothing as she typed away on her phone. She walked away without another word, looking us back in the corner with hoods up.

I played with the sleeves of my own hoodie that had the new Julie and the Pathoms merch sketch.

“Oh look at this one!”

Julie showed me her phone again, this time a thirst trap edit. Her excitement bought the boys attention to us, all moving to look over my shoulder at the edit.

It started with a few of Julie with her amazing stage gear and a few photos from her instagram, neon letters over her head read “The Singer''. Then jumped to the few videos and pictures of Flynn that Julie and I would post behind her back, this time the neon letters read “The Manager''. Next was my face, bright smiles and a few of me backstage with an old Sunset Curve tee and sweat rolling down my back, the words said “The Designer ''.

I read the caption, smiling at “They carry the band” and laughing as the guys talked about the story behind each photo.

“I took the one of you in my old shirt,” Reggie smiled, staying beside me with his arm around the back of my seat. I did my best to ignore the butterflies, which became easy when Flynn came back with a smile.

“I found a motel across the street that will take us,” she spoke with pride, rightfully so as she saved us from another night on that bus.

“Oh I love you,” Alex jumped up, his arms wrapping around Flynn in a heartbeat. Julie smiled, standing up and putting the phone in the pocket of her hoodie.

“Come on, up,” Reggie jumped up, holding a hand up from me as I had started to slip down in my seat. I smiled, taking his cold hands and standing completely up with a smile.

“Thank you Reginald,” I winked, following the others as we made our way to the front of the hotel. I could already hear the crowd waiting for us, their cameras probably at the ready to take some pictures of the uprising band.

“Hoods up soldiers,” Luke announced, keeping Julie close as they were already openly in a relationship so nothing too bad could be made out of them. Alex stood in front of me, Flynn close behind as Reggie was an inch behind me.

I said nothing when I felt a small hand on my back, too caught up in the loud voices and the calling of our names.

“(Y/N)! Is it true you are jealous of the band!”

“(Y/N), Did you sleep with lead singer Luke even with him dating Julie?”

“Are the rumors of Reggie and you true?”

I was thankful we had made it cross the sidewalk when a large bus cut them all off, giving up enough time to make it to the motel without a problem. I was thankful once we made it inside but not for long as I took the place in.

The plants in the corner were dead, the desk was dusty and the couches looked to be from the 1800′s, not the good kind.

“How many stars does this place have?”

“Uhm, 4?” Flynn voiced jumped up, saying nothing to us as she walked up and dinged the bell on the front desk. I rolled my eyes, pulling out my phone and opening it to Google.

“What are you goggling?”

“Google, and this motel,” I corrected Reggie, doing a quick search of my location and found the name of the rusty place. When I saw the rating I almost screamed.

“This place just barely has one star!”

“What,” Luke ran from the random statue he was messing with to my side, tugging the phone so he could read the reviews.

“Apparently they had a rat in a bed once,” I spoke, reading over the words in horror.

“Nope, I’ll stay on the bus,” Alex let his hands fall to his side, walking back to the door before he noticed that the camera flashes had almost doubled and no way he could make it out without a panic attack.

“Evening.”

When I heard the vile voice I jumped into Reggie's side without thinking, looking up at the older man who was looking Flynn up and down like meat.

“I need six room,” Flynn didn’t waste time, holding the credit card in between her fingers as she did her best not to be a coward.

“He looks like the witch from Hansel and Gretel,” I whispered into Reggie’s ear, ignoring the way his arm seemed to drift to my waist.

“I don’t know how that is but I agree.”

“We only have only three rooms, little lady,” the man spoke, reaching for the credit card before Flynn moved it out of reach.

“You told me on the found you had six,” Flynn bit back, I admired her confidence in this moment as everyone was slowly losing there the longer we stood in this lobby.

“The paparazzi will have fun with this,” Julie reached my side, looking over her shoulder and the few shots they could get through the windows of the dusty place.

“Got that right.”

“Fine, will bunk up,” Flynn gave up with the man, it wasn’t any use and we were all tired of setting up the stage and soundcheck today. I had spent hours hunched over the computer trying to get the mercy drop reaching tomorrow morning, my back sore and my head hurting.

The man passed Flynn the keys, after she watched him closely to make sure he didn’t charge us extra. She walked over to us, obviously annoyed but calming down the closer she got to us, she knew how to manage her anger until it was only Julie and I around.

“Julie and I will take one room, Alex and (Y/N) will take another-'' I smiled as Alex was my go-to room partner.

“-And Luke and Reggie got the last,” Flynn started handing out keys when Luke started to pout.

“Last time I slept in the same room as Reggie he talked the entire night,” Luke pointed at Reggie, causing the boy beside me to frown.

“You sleep talk? I’ve never heard it,” I shrugged and looked at Luke who was confident that “Reggie sleep talks”.

“Why can’t I take Alex and (Y/N) take Reggie?”

This felt so out of character for Luke, he never missed an opportunity to hang out with Reggie, they always bunked together. It was weird how everyone agreed, which felt even more out of character.

“Okay it’s settled,” I wanted to say something, as a night in a room alone with Reggie would be horrible for my crush, but I didn’t want Reggie to think nobody wanted to bunk with him.

Reggie shrugged, taking our key from Flynn and grabbing my go-bag I’d set on the ground of the dirty motel.

“I’ll get our bags, I know you’ll sit with Fylnn and Julie before you come up,” he didn’t sound mad or upset, he was smiling widely as he skipped to the elevator before stopping halfway through and going to the stairs instead.

“What a gentleman,” Luke winked at me, smirking between the group as if he had done something.

That’s when it hit me, he had done something.

“Oh, you liar,” I pointed my finger at Luke’s chest, my pout similar to his earlier as I looked up to someone I called a close friend, basically family.

“I did nothing of the sort, he did talk all night last time we bunked together but it was because we decided we wanted to pull an all-nighter,” Luke shrugged, looking at the other three in the loony, all smiling at me.

“You’re all vile people,” I spoke, looking to Alex who wanted to laugh so bad by the look on his face.

“And you, why would you do this to me?”

“Because I’m so tired of Reggie and you dancing around each other,” Alex gave me a stern look, making me deflate slightly but that didn’t stop me.

“We do not,” the group finally started to move again, since Reggie would already be in the room and we didn’t want him suspicious.

“Oh no, you’re the liar now,” Luke sang over my shoulder, grabbing his and Julie’s bag, Alex getting him and reaching for Flynn bag who insisted she had it.

“His hands were all over you this morning on the bus,” Julie jumped in, grabbing my shoulders and leading me through the stairway.

“He was teaching me how to play bass,” I crossed my arm, knowing this conversation wasn’t going anywhere.

“Reggie never lets anyone touch his bass!”

I rolled my eyes, they were all insane at this point.

“The reason there are so many ship edits of you guys is that you give them so much to work with,” Flynn said from the front of the group, a kick in her step about the entire idea.

“It’s because fans are crazy,” we had finally made it to the third floor, opening the door and all walking into the smelly hallways.

“It smells like a pack of cigarettes,” I almost coughed as I spoke, watching Reggie’s back open the door and slide into our room.

“You coming to sit with us?”

“No, I’m mad at you all,” I frown, but none of my friends worried as I’d forgive in the morning because they were impossible to stay mad at.

“Suit yourself, also he didn’t have any two bedrooms so have fun sharing a bed,” Flynn gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek and skipped to her and Julie’s room.

“I’ll kill you,” I yelled at Flynn as she walked into her room, Julie giving a sweet waver over her shoulder.

“I wonder if they have a mini-fridge,” Luke spoke, opening the door as the two boys gave me an exciting wave as if they weren’t making my life harder.

“(Y/N)? Why are you yelling?”

I looked down a door or two to see Reggie leaning against the doorframe of our room with a white tee and black and red plaid pajama pants.

He was going to be the death of me.

“Uhm, Fylnn told me they didn’t have a breakfast bar,” I did my best to lie, smiling as I made my way to the door Reggie leaned against, his little smile made me feel light and fluffy.

“I’ll get us one of the Ubers to take us to that little diner on the corner,” Reggie smiled, not moving from the doorframe once I reached it.

I didn’t want to slide past him but I did, doing my best not to come in contact with him as that may just make it worse but luckily he moved back so that didn’t happen.

“Thank god, I like the layout of it.”

I saw the single Queen bed in the center of my room and my heart broke as I thought about Fylnn’s words, she wasn’t just trying to get under my skin.

“Yeah, I know you love dinners that look like they are from the 50s.”

My heart shouldn’t have been on fire because of his words but it 100% was. He remembered those little quirks and it started to make me feel light-headed.

“Yeah they’re my favorite,” I smiled over my shoulder, reaching for my bag I had packed for the night in the motel, luckily bought my sleep stuff and asleep attire.

“There was one by my house back in the 90s, it was right out of that movie you had me watched,” Reggie fell back on the left side, leaving the right side open for me.

He knew what freaking side of the bed I slept on, I was going to combust.

“Grease,” I ignored the way his arms bulged as he laid them behind his hand, looking up at me as I looked through my bag for a few more things.

“Yeah that one, I think I should do my hair like David-“

“Danny,” I corrected as I made my way to the bathroom, leaving the door cracked so I could keep the conversation but still closed enough so I wasn’t worried about Reggie seeing me.

“Oh yeah, I should do my hair like him.” I smiled to myself, imagining Reggie dancing around as a Danny from Grease, the excitement he would have.

I tried not to think about how hot he’d look with his hair slick back.

“Do it for Halloween next year,” I spoke up, splashing water on my face to make me feel a little calmer.

“But I thought we would do a matching costume?”

I was going to scream and cry if he didn’t stop acting like the perfect boy. How do you lie because Reggie Freaking Peters and not fall in love with him?

“You could be Sandy!”

I felt myself smile again, looking down at the short and long shirt I had stolen from Alex that sat on top of the toilet.

“You can have red lipstick and those leather pants,” he sounded like a child that was just given candy, he was jumping just at the thought of the costume together.

“The fans would love it,” maybe it wasn’t the best idea to bring them up, but I couldn’t stop myself from saying it.

“They would! They’d probably talk about how cool you look for months,” I finally got the shirt over my head, looking at myself in the mirror, my nerves calming the longer the conversation went on.

Reggie wouldn’t make this awkward on purpose, I knew that.

“Yeah, but they’d like us matching. They wouldn’t let the dating rumor die though”, I stepped out from the bathroom, careful not to hit the creaking floorboard I found earlier.

“Oh, I didn’t think about that,” I watched his face fall and maybe my heart broke a little, but it was probably better. If it didn’t I would have possibly let this crush grow more and more and I didn’t need that.

“Eh, I don’t really care what the fans think.”

Heart please don’t explode, you have a merch drop tomorrow.

“Must be nice,” I fell back on the bed, laying the same way as Reggie as we looked at the ceiling that could probably fall in any second now.

“Why do you care?”

I watched him flip on his stomach out of the corner of my eye, him watching me but my eyes didn’t leave the ceiling.

“They just like making rumors with people that aren’t in the band sometimes more than the ones in the band. You four are more open than Flynn and I so they can only make so many rumors, but Flynn and I,” I trailed off, not knowing if he wanted this conversation to get too emotional.

“Yeah I noticed that, I mean you're cheating with Luke!”

I laughed at this tone, that definitely was a real crazy one that just started.

“I literally hit him in the head with the mic stand yesterday and kept walking and people think we’re dating”, I laugh at the afterthought, Luke's face when the mic stand went by his face. He was fine, but I didn’t have time to help him up and he understood that.

“That was great to watch, I haven’t seen Luke that confused since we landed here,” I spotted his show stopping smile in the corner of my eye.

“He’s a mess that’s why.”

“All three of us are a mess, without you, Julie, and Flynn we would be dead.”

“You’re already dead,” I tried to keep a straight face but as soon as I looked at Reggie my giggles filled the room, a hand on my stomach as I rolled over slightly.

“You’re horrible! You’re laughing at my death!”

I kept laughing, looking over at him a few times but it only caused me to laugh harder.

“I can’t believe I was excited to have a sleepover with you,” he had a goofy smile on his face as he watched me roll around.

“You 're excited,” I was finally calming down, trying to blame my racing heart on laughing.

“Yeah!”

He was so confident in his answer it felt like he meant it, like he wasn’t just being nice or just happy to be close with his friend.

Reggie liked being with people, he was a people person, and I was a person.

“I was excited too.”

Wow (Y/N) don’t you love your loud mouth.

He looked around my face, his eyes tracing my features with a smile painted across his face. I was shocked someone could be so happy like looked at me, but he did and it felt nice.

It was creepy or uncomfortable, nothing with Reggie ever was. He made everything feel easy, and maybe that’s why he has plagued my thoughts for so long.

“We should head to bed,” I could speak above a whisper with the way he was looking at me, the way his eyes traced my nose and my eyes.

“Yeah.”

We didn’t move, just watching each other as if it was supposed to be sleep for us. I wasn’t tired watching him like this, how could I be tired when he made me feel more alive than ever.

The loud knock on the door brought me out of my trace, my fear of what could be at the door had me moving closer to Reggie without thinking.

I felt the side of the move, Reggie slowly walking to the moldy wooden door with the small peep hole, or more like someone put a nail though and took it out.

He looked through it, reading to each for the candlestick before he rolled his eyes and swung open the door. Alex stood with an awkward smile, doing an odd dance before smiling at Reggie and I.

“Alex?”

“Can I use your bathroom?” I finally realized why he was dancing and smiled to himself.

“Sure but why?”

As soon as he heard my yes he pushed past Reggie, running into the thin wall bathroom without an answer until I heard him yell “Yes!”

“Our bathroom had some weird bug in the toilet and Julie and Flynn’s bathroom was connected to some weird old dude who fell asleep on the toilet,” Alex responded through the door, the excitement obviously in his voice.

“Looks like I got the good room,” Reggie smiled but I was hoping Alex would catch on to my comment and by the way he laughed I think he did.

“Shut up (Y/N)!”

Reggie knocked on the door jokingly as he passed, making his way back to the other side of the bed.

“How did Julie and Flynn get a conjoining room?”

“I don’t know and I don’t want to,” Alex yelled back, the sound of running water confirmed he was now washing his hands.

“You don’t have paper towels,” Alex opens the door, holding his hands in front of him as he looks like a kicked puppy.

“Use your shirt,” Reggie nodded at him, both him and I on our side as we watched Alex.

“It’s not mine! It’s Willie’s.”

“We won’t tell if you don’t,” I smiled back, giving Alex a wink.

“I accidentally told him,” Alex muttered as he started walking to the door, waving back at us and he left to go back to his own room.

As soon as the door shut I let myself laugh a little at my close friend, slowly reaching for the lamp and lifting the covers up. I could feel Reggie doing the same as the cold air hitting my skin when it moved and disappearing once it fell.

“Must I say, this motel isn’t that bad.”

I turned to look back at Reggie, the only reason I could see his face was because of the city lights from the window that danced across his face.

“What?”

“Don’t get me wrong, this place breaks every violation ever, but I think places like this bring out the best stories,” Reggie moved to look at me, his nose close to my own and he smiled at me.

I smiled, it was truly the Reggie-ish thing I had ever heard.

“I believe that,” I spoke softly, watching him again but this time the tension was thick, it felt so much calmer.

“Julie and Flynn will never forget the creepy guy, Alex and Luke will laugh about Alex blatter, and I’ll never forget the best sleepover ever,” each word brought a little larger smile on his face, my heart racing again at his words.

“I mean that much to you?” I said the words jokingly, placing a hand over my heart as I spoke but Reggie took it differently.

“Most definitely,” his words are soft, making my eyes grow tired as his breath fan across my face.

He was watching me again, this time he looked like an angel with the way the city light bounced off his cheeks and bought out his pink lips.

“Yeah?”

“Yep,” his face looked like it was moving closer to me but I knew better than to think that, but that didn’t crush that little hope in the back of my head.

“If you were there in the 90s, I’d probably still be alive,” eye contact was made and I thought I would jump him there.

“I wasn’t alive then.”

“I know, but you’re alive now and I feel alive,” Reggie shrugged as if his words didn’t mean everything to me.

Like he didn’t mean everything to me. I felt myself break eye contact, smiling like a fool as I looked to the tv that was barely hanging on the wall.

“You’re cold,” I spoke softly, because what else was I supposed to say?

“You’re warm,” as he spoke he grew closer to me, resting his head near my collarbone as he waited for me to speak but it never came.

“Can I lay my head on your shoulder?”

“Most definitely,” I repeated his rooms from earlier, smiling when I felt his hair brush my cheek and he drew close to me.

“Goodnight (Y/N),” he spoke softly, his words causing shivers to run up and down my spine like a track race.

“Goodnight Reggie.”

A loud bang on the door woke me up, causing me to almost fall from the bed if the hand that grabbed my shirt wasn't a tiger. His arms weren’t around me, simply holding me closer by my shirt, his head still on my shoulder as my head laid on his.

“Flynn has coffee!” Julie’s voice was joyus, making a smile spread across my lips. My friends knew me so well, my hands gently pulling Reggie’s fist from my shirt. I carefully pulled myself from the bed, tip-toeing across the room to the door. I didn’t even need to look through the peephole to know who was on the other side.

“Did you get a cup for your neighbor?”

Flynn smiled, dropped, and the coffee she held out to me was brought closer to her chest.

“And to think I gave you a kiss yesterday,” I rolled my eyes, reaching out for the coffee that was easy to pull from her hands.

“Luke and Alex are stealing breakfast from the hotel we were supposed to be staying at,” Julie brushed past me, stopping in her tracks when she noticed Reggie's sleeping body, obviously splashing on both sides of the bed.

“How are they doing that?”

“I don't wanna know, but I do wanna know what happened here last night,” Julie  spun around, pointing at Reggie over her shoulder.

“We talked and went to bed,” I shrugged, doing my best to keep my voice down but it wouldn’t change anything, Reggie was a heavy sleeper.

“I thought you would make a plate on the floor or something,” Flynn spoke as she joined us in the room, slowly walking to Reggie and inspecting him.

“That felt rude,” I sipped on the coffee, smiling when I realized Julie and Flynn got my order right.

“Or,” Julie turned around, poking my side with a goofy smile. I rolled my eyes, my excitement from last night and the presents of my friends was sending me through the roof and I don’t think I could handle it much longer.

“Guys!”

I looked down the hall, smiling when I saw Alex and Luke breathing heavily with large bags of hopeful food in their hands.

“Is that from the hotel?”

“Of course,” Luke smiled as he slipped into the room, handing me one of the bags so I could place it on the small table in the motel.

“We got chased out but we did it!”

I laughed at Alex's face, the anxiety was obvious but the smile told me he was fine and there wasn’t much to worry about.

“Well well well,” Luke walked around the bed, smiling at Reggie’s sleeping form.

“Don’t say a word,” I opened one of the bags and pulled a small piece of pancake off, and threw it in the air, catching it in my mouth easily. Perks of being friends with Luke, he teaches great party tricks.

“Aren’t you two the cutest,” Luke came over to my side, waving Julie over to show me something on her phone. I looked over my shoulder, watching a new edit that was posted maybe an hour ago.

“Reggie and (Y/N) were seen awfully close leaving their hotel last night,” the E! News reporter said, the edit jumping to a meme I had seen of a dude crying. Next thing I knew pictures from last night flash across the screen, Reggie’s hand on my lower back. The edit jumped to other pictures of us joking around followed.

I smiled, turning back to the bag and pulling another piece of pancake out.

“Awh look at that,” Flynn pitched my cheeks, smiling at my as I laughed it off. Butterflies were flying through my stomach but I didn my best to hide it.

“What?”

Everyone turned to Reggie once sleeping form, his eyes scanning the room before he fell back to the bed.

“Did anyone knock?”

“We did,” Julie smiled, flopping on the bed so her head laid on his legs.

“I wasn’t informed,” Reggie sat up, looking at me with a grumpy frown. I shrugged, taking another bite of pancake while smiling at him.

“What? You wanted me to wake you?”

“Most definitely,” Reggie smiled, the conversation from last night still floating around his brain.

I nodded, looking down at my hands and thought back to the late night we had with nothing but calming security.

He was right, crappy motels brought the best memories out in people.



[carewyncromwell]

“Uptown girl --  You know I can't afford to buy her pearls, But maybe someday when my ship comes in, She'll understand what kind of guy I've been, And then I'll win!”

~“Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel

x~x~x~x

Bill Weasley had always had trouble relating to kids his age. As the oldest of seven kids, he’d pretty quickly slipped into the role of support for his mother Molly, parenting and looking after his younger siblings while his father Arthur was at work in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office. Even when he was little, there wasn’t really anyone his age in his tiny hometown of Ottery St. Catchpole. All of the other magical families with kids in the area were much younger than Bill, and it was always a tricky proposition trying to play with the Muggle children who lived closest to the Burrow, with the Statute of Secrecy looming large. So when Bill got to Hogwarts, he found himself almost inevitably falling back on how he acted around his younger siblings, even with kids his own age...which, in turn, made Bill lose his footing, when those kids his age didn’t respond well to being coddled or “looked after.” And given Bill’s rather modest, people-pleasing personality, he wasn’t the type to force anyone to listen to him or do what he said...and so, almost inevitably, he found himself at a loss about how to interact with someone without looking after them in some way, on completely equal footing. And thus Bill Weasley, sweet and amiable as he was, actually found himself largely alone in those first two years he spent at Hogwarts -- and that solitude was something he found out pretty quickly he really didn’t like. 

Bill was relieved when his younger brother Charlie started his first year at Hogwarts. Although Bill had trouble admitting to his family just how unhappy he’d been those last two years, the eldest Weasley was secretly relieved that he’d now have some family at school too. He had always been closest to Charlie out of all of his siblings, given their closeness in age, so it was comforting to know he’d at least have one friend to spend time with, when he wasn’t in class. Charlie’s year, however, also included a ginger-haired Slytherin girl called Cromwell -- the same surname as the infamous “delinquent” Jacob Cromwell, who’d been expelled from Hogwarts and disappeared mysteriously a few years ago. 

Bill first heard about Jacob Cromwell’s sister Carewyn through Charlie, who’d heard that she’d stood up to another Slytherin in their year, Merula Snyde, for bullying Charlie’s timid dormmate Ben Copper and even defeated her in a duel with a Disarming Charm, a spell not taught until at least Bill’s year. Despite himself, Bill actually felt a bit relieved -- he hadn’t known Jacob Cromwell at all, but he figured it had to have been really difficult, for someone to lose their only sibling. Even if he didn’t know Carewyn Cromwell at all, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for her...but at least if she was still confident enough to stand up for herself and others, then it probably meant she was doing okay, even with what had happened to her and her family. And his analysis seemed to be confirmed when Carewyn sought Bill out to get his help the following year with breaking the curse on the Ice Vault. From the moment they first met, Bill made up his mind -- Carewyn Cromwell needed someone to look after her, so he would, until she found her brother again. And so Bill and Carewyn became friends. 

In Bill’s fifth year, he was named Gryffindor Prefect. It was a rather obvious choice for Minerva McGonagall, considering Bill’s predisposition to “look after” and mentor younger students, but it still filled Arthur and Molly Weasley with immense pride. It was also the first year that Bill and Charlie invited Carewyn home for the holidays, upon hearing that her mother Lane had been commissioned by the Ministry of Magic for an international assignment and wouldn’t be able to be home in time for Christmas. When he heard Merula Snyde also wouldn’t have anyone to spend the holidays with, Bill made the remarkably kind move to invite her to the Burrow as well, even with Charlie and Carewyn’s misgivings -- but that holiday ended up being one of the best all four of them had ever had. Merula and Carewyn were even able to mend fences enough to sing Christmas carols together, the first’s clear Soprano voice hovering ethereally over the second’s warm, emotional Alto harmonies. That Christmas was also the year Carewyn gave Bill his very first record -- an album called An Innocent Man, by an Muggle artist named Billy Joel. Arthur Weasley was almost more thrilled by the gift than his son was, and he immediately brought out the Muggle record player he’d...”been allowed to take home” from work so Carewyn could show the Weasleys how to play the record on it. And for the rest of the winter break, it wasn’t uncommon for one of the Weasleys to put the record on in the background while doing dishes or playing a game of Wizard’s Chess in front of the fire. The song from the record Bill found himself humming the most, even after returning to Hogwarts, was the first song on side two of the record. He’d liked the tune immediately just because it was fun...but it also reminded him of a girl in his year he’d been trying to muster up the courage to talk to -- a very pretty and daring Gryffindor named Emily Tyler. 

“And when she's walking, she's looking so fine, And when she's talking, she'll say that she's mine... She'll say I'm not so tough, Just because I'm in love with an uptown girl!”

Emily Tyler was the most popular girl in Bill’s year, as well as one of the most popular in Gryffindor house overall. She’d made a name for herself at the Dueling Club, where she remained Gryffindor’s main champion -- it was likely only thanks to Hufflepuff’s own dueling prodigy, Diego Caplan, that Emily had any competition at all. She also was top of her class in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Bill’s favorite and best subject, even managing to Stun an entire flock of bats with one spell. And coupled with that talent was a lot of style, confidence, and ability to captivate and charm others. She never seemed uncomfortable in a crowd and never seemed to be at a loss for words around her peers -- something Bill himself still struggled with. She’d even expressed some interest in Cursebreaking post-Hogwarts, gushing about the acclaim and glamour of the profession. In short, in Bill’s eyes, Emily just seemed amazing -- a bit out of his league, sure...but maybe if he was brave and put himself out there, she might give him a chance!

So one day, right around spring break, Bill passed Emily a note in Defense Against the Dark Arts, asking her to meet him in the castle courtyard. The eldest Weasley was kind of an emotional wreck on the inside, absolutely beside himself with nerves, but he put on his bravest face anyway. He’d even brought a pink rose, which he tried to keep out of sight in his back pocket until Emily arrived. It was the flower that caught Carewyn’s eye, when she was passing through the castle courtyard. 

The third-year Slytherin had been planning on meeting up with Ben and Rowan in the library so they could study up for an upcoming Charms test, but she put that on hold, seeing her friend Bill sitting alone in the courtyard, as if waiting for someone. Normally she would've gone over to say hello, but the pink rose in Bill’s pocket made her give pause -- a fortunate thing too, for not long later, Bill shot to his feet as Emily Tyler entered the courtyard. She was dressed head-to-toe in bright pink, with her dark hair tied up in a high ponytail and her makeup impeccably neat. She wasn’t alone -- several other boys and girls were with her, all talking to her animatedly. They reluctantly waited for her at the edge of the courtyard, their eyes locked on her as she approached Bill. The scrutiny from Emily’s cohorts clearly intimidated Bill, but he didn’t let it rattle him. He faced his crush with the best smile he could.  

“Hi, Emily,” he greeted. “Thanks for coming -- I know you’re pretty busy with the Dueling Club...”

“I am,” assented Emily. Her voice was matter-of-fact. 

Bill gave a weak, uncomfortable laugh. “Well, uh...I won’t take up too much of your time, then. I just wanted to...er...”

He took the pink rose out of his back pocket and offered it to her. Emily blinked down at it in surprise. 

“I wanted to...give this to you,” said Bill with a modest smile. “Pink is your favorite color, I’ve heard. Not that I’ve been eavesdropping on you or anything,” he said very quickly, “I just heard you tell one of your friends that once, last month, and...”

Carewyn felt very uncomfortable, listening to this. Deciding at once that the whole thing really wasn’t her business and that Bill deserved his privacy, she turned to go. She probably would’ve walked away, were it not for how disdainful Emily's voice sounded, when she spoke.

“Is this...some sort of confession?”

Carewyn immediately stopped and turned back around. Emily was looking from her friends on the sidelines to Bill, her face twisted in a very critical, flabbergasted sort of look. 

Bill, to his credit, somehow managed to keep a weak smile on, even as her brought up a hand to rub behind his neck uncomfortably. 

“Well, uh...yes! I guess so. I...was sort of hoping we might be able to hang out sometime...maybe get some butterbeers in Hogsmeade or something -- ”

Emily’s eyes had widened little by little with every word out of Bill’s mouth until, finally, she brought them to an abrupt halt when she started to laugh. 

“You -- you’re serious?” she said incredulously. She glanced over to her friends on the sidelines and then around the rest of the courtyard, as if expecting someone to jump out from behind a nearby pillar. “This is a joke, right? Tell me this is a joke.”

Her laugh and slightly louder voice had caught the attention of some other students close by. Her friends over by the entrance of the courtyard were exchanging disbelieving looks and whispers among themselves. 

Bill’s smile faded. 

“A joke?” he repeated blankly. “No -- it’s not a -- ”

Emily fixed Bill with a rather pitying, condescending look as she slipped the pink rose out of his hand. 

“Look, Bill,” she said very coolly, “you’re cute and all -- but you really think you’re my type? You’re a Weasley. Prefect or no, you’re still a blood traitor in messy, second-hand clothes with younger students always tagging along after you like ducklings and a father who chases after Muggle airplanes and scooters rather than work a job that can pay the bills.”

She carelessly dropped the pink rose in the fountain and turned her back on him. 

“Maybe actually make something of yourself, and then we can talk.”

Carewyn had been furious at the things Emily Tyler had said -- but it was the absolutely devastated, heartbroken look on Bill’s darkly flushing face that made her snap. In an instant, the third-year Slytherin had barreled right up to the pink-dressed Gryffindor as she rejoined her snickering friends at the side of the courtyard. 

“How dare you!”

Emily’s friends all stopped laughing to look down at Carewyn. 

“Excuse me?” said Emily, looking down at the much smaller girl with a very condescending eye.

“Bill bared his heart to you just now, and you don’t even care!” Carewyn said fiercely. “Talking about his family being poor and liking Muggle things as if it’s something to be ashamed of...clearly Bill couldn’t have liked you for your personality, because it’s disgusting!”

Emily’s nose wrinkled as she glanced around at her friends. “I don’t think anyone’s surprised you’d throw in your lot with a Weasley, Cursebreaker kid. Your family’s got even less reputation to be proud of -- not to mention your clothes are just as out-of-date as theirs are.”

The boys in the group all gave a low “ooh,” sniggering among themselves. 

“Well, fortunately, unlike you, I could care less about my reputation,” Carewyn spat. “And I’m frankly glad of it! Bill is a kind, hardworking person who always puts others first and puts his whole heart into everything he does! If his family’s reputation makes it so you can’t appreciate any of that, then I’d say you’re the one who needs to ‘make something of yourself’ -- ”

“Carey.”

Carewyn felt a hand coming down on her shoulder, almost holding her back. She looked up, to see Bill standing over her. His gaze was locked on Carewyn rather than Emily and his face was very scarlet, but his voice was low and forcibly level. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he mumbled. 

Carewyn looked at him with concern. “Bill...”

“It’s okay,” said Bill. He forced a thoroughly unconvincing smile. “Let’s just go.”

Carewyn stared at Bill for a long moment, feeling very reluctant to let the issue go. Her eyes then fell away, drifting away -- it seemed they’d acquired an audience, in the rest of the students scattered around the courtyard.

Bill would probably be even more embarrassed, if I escalated things further, she thought guiltily. 

Exhaling quietly, Carewyn shot one more very dirty look in Emily’s direction and walked off with Bill. As they walked off, some of Emily’s friends shouted taunts after them.

“‘Mother Duck’ Weasley strikes again!”

“Follow along after Mama, little duckling!”

Carewyn forced herself to keep walking and not turn around. She shot a furtive glance at Bill, and saw that he was doing the exact same thing, even with the ruby red flush in his cheeks and the slight shine to his eyes. 

Carewyn followed Bill out of the courtyard, down the hall, through the large double doors, and out onto the castle grounds. The eldest Weasley seemed to be walking with no destination in mind, his gaze endless and his steps aimless. Carewyn could practically feel the misery, shame, hurt, and embarrassment coming off of her friend, and it made her heart hurt. Her gaze fell to her feet as they walked side-by-side together. 

“...I guess...it was her, wasn’t it?”

Bill straightened up. He’d clearly forgotten for a moment that Carewyn was there. 

“Huh?” he said, before uncomfortably adding, “...W-who?”

“Who you were thinking about, whenever ‘Uptown Girl’ came on.”

Bill flushed a dark red. “What? No, I...what makes you...think there was anyone I was...?”

“Oh, come on, Bill,” said Carewyn with a pitying look. “Your eyes were always so bright, whenever side two started up. I thought...well, there had to be something special you were thinking about, when you heard that one. Even if it wasn’t a specific person...it just felt like that song was something that spoke to you, I guess...”

She offered him a weak, sad smile. 

“...It kind of reminded me of when I sing certain songs. Like even if the words are someone else’s, you can sing them like they’re all yours.”

Bill considered Carewyn for a minute. Then, his flush darkening further, he bowed his head. 

“...Yeah. I suppose that’s true.”

He gave a low sigh.

“...What did I do wrong, Carewyn?” he asked. “Did I come on too strong? Should I have sent her a note, or asked to meet her somewhere more private?”

Carewyn whirled on Bill with an incredulous look. “What? Bill, you didn’t do anything wrong!"

“Sure feels like it,” mumbled Bill. 

Carewyn stopped right in front of Bill, putting her hands on her hips and fixing him with a very reproachful look. 

“You listen to me, William Weasley,” she said fiercely. “I may not know anything about that snobbish twit -- ”

“Emily Tyler.”

“ -- I may not know much of anything about her, but I know you, and I know you deserve so much better than how she treated you. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way about you as you do about her, there’s no excuse for how cruel she was to you...all clearly just to save face around those awful friends of hers...”

Bill blinked in surprise. “You reckon?”

“Yeah,” said Carewyn. “She kept glancing at her friends, the whole time. She rejected you that soundly because she thought they wouldn’t approve of you.”

Seeing the look on Bill’s face, she added, “But that shouldn’t matter, Bill! If Emily thinks impressing her friends is more important than being a decent human being, that’s her problem. And if her so-called ‘friends’ are the sort of people who look down their noses at good people like your family...well, clearly Emily Tyler’s a rotten judge of character.”

Bill looked a bit comforted by Carewyn’s words. He tried to smile again, but it still looked halfhearted at best. 

“Thanks, Carey,” he said lowly. “It’s just...well, she’s just so amazing. Talented and pretty and perfectly brilliant -- you should see her in Defense Against the Dark Arts, I reckon she’s on the NEWT level already. She even said she might like being a Cursebreaker, when she graduates -- travel everywhere, and become world-famous...”

Carewyn brought a hand onto Bill’s shoulder and gave it a supportive squeeze. It felt a little odd: he hadn’t really talked to anyone about his feelings for Emily, and just talking his feelings out, rather than listening to someone else’s...it was something he could only really ever remember doing with his parents, and only occasionally. It was weird, but it felt...nice.

“I just...didn’t think she’d react like that,” Bill admitted. “Not that I expected I’d sweep her off her feet or anything, but...I’d sort of hoped that she’d give me a chance, and that when we went out, we’d get on, and maybe even hit it off...”

He sighed heavily. 

“Guess I really don’t know much about love at all, do I?”

Carewyn frowned deeply. “That’s not true at all! You know plenty about love. You love your brothers and Ginny, and your parents...and you love your friends too!”

“That’s really not the same thing,” said Bill. 

“It should be,” huffed Carewyn. “Love is love. If you love someone, you care about their happiness more than your own. Sure, maybe when you marry someone, there’s a lot more kissing and you want to have kids together and stuff like that...but well, the important part is that caring, right? Without that, what does the rest of that stuff matter?”

Bill’s face softened slightly. 

“...I guess you’re right. And I guess...when I am looking for that person...I should find somebody who’ll care about my happiness just as much as I do theirs.”

Carewyn nodded with a smile. “Definitely.”

She took Bill’s hand.

“And maybe someday when your ship comes in,” she sang brightly, “she’ll understand what kind of guy you’ve been...”

Bill’s face flushed again, but this time it wasn’t out of embarrassment -- this time, it was accompanied by a bright, touched look in his brown eyes. 

“And then I’ll win,” he finished, in a much less trained, gravelly singing voice than Carewyn’s. 

Carewyn beamed. She walked on ahead, pulling lightly at Bill’s hand so as to coax him to walk next to her. 

“And when she knows what she wants from her tiiiiime~...”

Bill gave a laugh, but followed Carewyn’s lead, recalling the words by heart. 

“And when she wakes up and makes up her miiiiind~...”

Soon Carewyn and Bill were back toward the castle, swinging their linked hands idly back and forth as they sang the rest of the song together, getting louder and louder with each line. 

“She'll see I'm not so tough, Just because I'm in love with an uptown girl! You know, I've seen her in her uptown world -- She's getting tired of her high-class toys And all her presents from her uptown boys.... She's got a choice! Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!”

Before long, all the two thought of while singing that song was hanging out together and being silly, while not caring what anyone else thought. Not a single word of the song brought Emily Tyler back to Bill’s mind -- and in the years to come, Bill would continue to enjoy the song with no negative connotations whatsoever, instead only remembering when Carewyn and he sang it at the top of their lungs to make him feel better. And that moment did indeed signal a shift in the dynamic between Carewyn and Bill. For Carewyn, it made her feel like she was walking home with Jacob again -- like she had an older brother who she could look after, the way she used to for Jacob. And for Bill, it made him feel like he’d acquired a second younger sister -- one who emotionally supported him the same way he did his real siblings. 

One thing was for sure, though -- it was this moment, among many others to come, that cemented Bill and Carewyn as the very best of friends. 

x~x~x~x

Tagging @the-al-chemist​ and @oneirataxia-girl​ for expressing interest in this prompt! 🤗

Carewyn’s dress is based on the design on the left 💗

[forever-rogue]

A Good Man - Part 1

A/N: So...this turned out to be much more than I intended. It’s not a one off, oh no, could I ever really do that? It’s going to be three parts (and yes, I am committing to three and three only before this gets away from me), and yes I guarantee you there will be smut. You can’t have professor Javi without some smut, after all. Shout out to the amazing and lovely @rosetophighlander​ for listening to my ideas and inspiring me! As always, comments and feedback is welcome, and if you’d like to be tagged let me know! xx

Pairing: Professor! Javi x Reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: none

A GOOD MAN ‘VERSE MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

JAVIER MASTERLIST 

»»————-　♡　————-««

Javier Peña was a good man. At least that’s what he was trying to convince himself. He was a good man with a bad past. A past he had pointedly left behind in Colombia. But even now, years later, memories haunted him at night - it wasn’t a regular occurrence, but it was often enough. Enough to have him startle awake, drenched in sweat as his chest heaved up and down. Enough to make him feel like a bad man again.

But that wasn’t him anymore - no. He was a bad man then and he was trying to rectify that now by being a good man. He was a good man, and what was in the past was in the past. It didn’t matter it anymore; he had to bury it and let it die. But every time he thought he had, he still found himself plagued by the memories. Shit. 

He’d returned to Texas when everything was said and done, and taken up a post as a university teacher. It was boring; drool, but most importantly, it was a safe bet. A college professor, who would have thought? If you would have told him this a few years ago while he was in the midst of the drug war trying to bring down both Pablo Escobar and the Cali Cartel, he would have laughed in your face and told you to fuck off. But that was then, and this was now, a very different reality with a very different version of him. Well...no. Javi was still Javi underneath it all, the same man he had always been, he was just trying to be the best man he could be. Trying to make right what in his head claimed made him so bad. 

He was regimented now, almost to a fault, keeping up a routine that claimed most of his mind that wouldn’t let his mind wander too far off track. Gods, he needed a therapist. He knew he did; it was forever on his to do list. Forever the one thing he would get to eventually because it wasn’t pressing enough. Forever the thing he would do when he had more time. Instead he found solace, a small sense of reprieve in his small four-legged friend. 

He was a small, wiry thing with ears that always seemed perked up, colored like sweet milk and honey, affectionately named Stevie, much to Steve Murphy’s chagrin. He served as a good distraction and pseudo-therapist for all that seemed to bother the ex-DEA agent. Sometimes Javi felt bad about how he confided in his little friend but Stevie loved him back all the same, showering him in affection whenever he could.

His routine was the same almost every day, allowing for some variance on weekends. It was strict, almost authoritarian but he had come to have a certain reverence for it. Up at six, out for a jog or walk with Stevie, breakfast for the two of them followed by a shower, at work by 9, a morning class full of mainly bright eyed freshman, followed by office hours where he would check on the dog and then return to eat his lunch by himself, almost always a sandwich, coffee, and some sort of berry, two afternoon classes of disinterested juniors, seniors, and those who seemed to never leave college, followed by a few hours of paperwork and grading before arriving home between six and seven, followed by a simple dinner for himself Stevie. To pass the time he’d read or watch a movie or show, but it was almost always lights out by ten. Sometimes he’d fall asleep quickly, other times it would take him hours. Hours of his brain buzzing with repressed thoughts and emotions that he put off until he fell asleep and repeated his routine the next day.

Weekends allowed for some flexibility instead of the monotonous rigidity. He let himself sleep in longer, go for a long walk with Stevie and have a leisurely lunch, and laze about the house. Sometimes he’d meet up with a friend, usually a coworker from another department and have a drink or two, nothing too excess, before turning in well before midnight. On the rare occasion where he felt restless enough and couldn’t be alone with his own thoughts, he’d go and take himself to a movie, a play, a museum, something that would keep his mind occupied. But by Monday morning he was back to routine. Back to that rigid pattern that kept him on track.

And it had been enough. It had to be enough...right?

»»————-　♡　————-««

Teaching at his alma mater of Texas A&M in the sleepy town of Kingsville had proven to be both a curse and a blessing. When he’d left the DEA, unsure of what to do, what do he really wanted to do with his life now, he had turned his attention back home. One thing had let to another and, surely with some help from his former cohorts at the DEA, he’d lined himself up a fairly easy teaching gig. It wasn’t anything he had ever really given much thought to, but just like his routine, it had become familiar, mind numbing, and easy. It didn’t take much before it had become part of his regimented life. 

He enjoyed the almost anonymity of it all; no one really knew who he was, the things, both horrible and great, that he had done, no one knew his previous reputation, no one judged him before they had the chance to meet him. He was, first and foremost, Professor Peña. The students came and went; no one questioned who he was truly was and he never offered. As far as his students were concerned, he offered them the tiniest shred, if any at all, of his personal life. It had it easy - simple - to keep things strictly business. 

There had been a few times, a few moments when his heart had almost stopped, that a student would stop by his desk after he’d dismissed everyone and ask him his past. It hadn’t been more than maybe four or five in total, but it had still brought a grimace to his face each time. But instead of completely dismissing anyone, he’d politely decline to answer anything beside easy questions, the kind that were of public knowledge. 

Otherwise he insisted that if they ever have any questions related to the course, exams, or homework, they were welcome to come to see him during his office hours. He had a presence about him, not intimidating per se, but firm and strong that usually deterred people from questioning him any further. They almost never came to his office hours; pretty much no one did. Which was completely fine by him because it always gave him a chance to stay on top of the mountains of paperwork the university imposed on everyone.

Much to his chagrin, however, this year the school’s newspaper had decided to start a professor spotlight column in their monthly magazine. Something about connecting students and professors and creating more of a sense of community. A load of bullshit, was what he thought, but he didn’t push the envelope. He wasn’t trying to ruffle any feathers, to step on anyone’s toes; no, he aimed to blend in. But something about having been the man to help bring down Pablo Escobar and the Cali Cartel made him a subject of interest; naturally it was only a matter of time before eager, hungry eyes were turned to him. 

But Javi knew he couldn’t really decline, it would have been against decorum and he wanted no eyebrows raised in his direction. So, he answered the curious student reporter’s questions with basic answers, just enough to give a taste and satiate them, but not enough to have to dig deep. He let them take his picture, let them publish it in their magazine, hoping that not many students would actually read the column, and just gloss over it. He wasn’t sure if he could handle tons of students only signing up for his class for him. He had not plans on indulging them any further into personal life.

But his routine, regimented schedule was all fine and dandy, and surely he thought they would be enough. They had to be enough, right? That’s what he thought. Surely the monotony of teaching countless students would be enough; that’s what he had come to believe anyway. It had worked out for the two prior years, surely it should have been the same going into his third year there.

Until the day you stepped into his classroom on that first day of that brand new semester and school year. You weren’t like the others...you looked excited, alert, like you actually wanted to be there. Like you wanted to listen to him teach. Like you cared. The swarm of students surrounding you barely looked alive, but you did. There was a certain magnetic charm that you possessed that happened to draw in everyone around you, including the man at the front of the room. The man that was determined to adhere to the strict routine that he had concocted for himself; the man that vowed he not stray from his class structure. The man that so desperately just wanted to be a good man. 

He hadn’t noticed you at first, keeping his gaze focused on the papers and stacks on his desk, picking up the roll call sheets and running through them with a sense of disinterest. Name after name of students that probably just took the class because they needed some sort of credit. They responded in voices that were barely audible, tones that strongly suggested that they did not care whether he made a note of them being in attendance. 

But when he got to your name, calling it out softly, and he heard you confidently and happily respond with a loud here, his deep brown eyes almost jumped out of his sockets. He paused and looked up, taking a moment to push his thick, dark rimmed glasses up his noise, before searching for you in a sea of students. But he knew he had found you when he spied the beautiful face beaming back at him. You offered him the biggest smile he had ever seen within the confines of the small lecture hall.

He was momentarily phased, but the corners of his mouth lifted up slightly as he returned your brilliant smile with the best he could muster up. But before he could get too caught up in anything, even a singular thought that roamed freely, someone loudly coughed and snapped him out of his trance. Quickly switching back to his professor mode, he looked back at the roster and called out the rest of the names, tic marks and blanks boxes galore down the long sheet. 

Like his life, his class structure was regimented, and while he thoroughly enjoyed history, he found it difficult, tedious even, to drone on about pre-revolutionary war America for hours. Sometimes it was enough to make his eyes almost glaze over; while it annoyed him that it got to his students as well, he couldn’t always blame them. But there was something about today, the way that you had smiled at him, that sent a spark off deep within him, and something just snapped. He found himself moving more about the lectern, his hands waving more animatedly as he gave his introductory lecture, and most importantly of all, he found himself stealing glances at you. And you met his glances, almost in a challenging way, never looking away when his gaze lingered a few seconds longer than necessary. 

But, like everyone else, you were eager to pack up your bag and leave when he was finished and excused everyone. You glanced at him a few times as you slid your notebooks and textbook back into your satchel, wondering if you should introduce yourself, or hell, if he really even cared. But instead of acting on any impulses and potentially making a fool out of yourself, you hitched the bag further up your shoulder and left along with the rest of the crowd, letting them swallow you up and allowing you to blend in. It was the end of the day, everyone was eager to get home, especially after the first day of the new semester. Javier was too; first days were always tiring just alone with administrative tasks and getting to know hundreds of new names and faces. But none of them mattered, not really, they were just more students in an endless sea that he would teach and then forget about as soon as finals were graded and returned. 

But somehow...you stuck in his mind. Your face, your curious eyes and soft little smile were already burned into his mind. He found himself musing on it, on how intently you had scribbled down notes, even if he didn’t feel like there was anything to memorize, how your leg bounced up and down the few times your mind seemed to wander as you had glanced around the room, taking in the other students. A low sigh escaped his lips as he slid his paperwork, texts, and other items into his book bag before throwing it over his shoulder. He wasn’t going to let his mind get hung up on you, or anyone or anything else for that matter. 

Sure, you were pretty, very pretty, but so were plenty of other students. He wasn’t going to lie to him; he could admit, at least to himself, when he found a student attractive. Sure, you had a smile that had spoken to something within him, but  -no. You were one student in a sea of hundreds the had for the semester. You would forget him as soon as you turned in your final and went on winter break. He was sure of it. Javier Peña was trying to be a good man, and letting his thoughts go wild about a student was definitely not part of that plan.

When he got home that evening, he walked in the door and left his bag on the small dresser he kept in the hallway, followed by his keys and shoes before eagerly greeting Stevie. He’d stopped by between classes to take check on him, always making sure he had plenty of food, water, and pets before he had to go back. He glanced around the small kitchen, already pondering what he would make for dinner, knowing he was stocked up on everything he would need for the week. In his retirement from the DEA he had become a meticulous planner, something that easily kept his mind busy, and Sundays had become his grocery shopping days were he loaded up on necessities for the week. It was robotic and allowed for little free thought; routine, routine, routine. 

But before he could flick on the soft kitchen light, his hand lingered on the switch, fingers drumming lightly against the plastic plate while he contemplated his next move. Instead of flipping it on,  he dropped his hand and grabbed Stevie’s leash off of the counter-top, dropping to his knees as the small dog wagged his tail in sheer excitement at the prospect of a walk. He gave him a few pets as he clipped the lease on, making sure his large ears received a good scratch.

“What do you say you and I go and pick up some pizza, huh? We’ll even get some beer. Call it a guys’ night,” Stevie made a small sound of excitement, clearly acquiescing to Javier’s plan. He stood back up to his full height, his joints crackling lightly as he grabbed his thin windbreaker, wallet, and keys, slipped his shoes back on and walked out the door, his mind already on the pizza place a few blocks away. It wasn’t even anything he really gave too much thought to, it was most certainly not part of his plan. No, this was all new - a break.

It was the first Javier Pena had strayed from his evening routine in almost three years. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

As soon as you stepped through the door of your apartment you let out a long sigh as you tossed your book bag onto the floor and stumbled into the living room, flopping face down on the well worn couch. Sarah, your closest confidant and roommate throughout your college experience, looked up from her book and with a small smirk on her face. She’s gotten out of her classes and finished for the day hours ago. 

“First day was that good, huh?” she pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose, as you turned your head to glare at her. She was in her last year of school too but had been smart, so you’d come to realize, and taken more classes than she needed in earlier years so her last year would be a breeze. You envied her and wished you’d done the same; now you were stuck with classes that were long, tedious, and required more thinking than you would have liked. 

“I don’t know how I’m going to survive this semester,” you admitted with a heavy sigh; you had no one to blame but yourself. It still didn’t make your little pity party any better, “today’s classes were...boring at best, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a teacher that cared less than my last one. The topic’s already not my favorite, clearly not his, and I have no clue how I’m going to survive the semester, and this stupid class was the only one open that satisfied one of my last requirements. I’m trying to be excited, you know, to trick myself into liking it, but I dunno if that’s gonna work out.”

“If it all goes to hell, there’s always next semester,” she offered with a shrug before closing her book and tossing it on the coffee table, “what class it is?”

“Pre-revolutionary war American history,” you groaned as she gave you a pained look. Nothing about any of the words that spilled forth from your mouth sounded even remotely exciting, “aka hell. Whoever decided that there should be a whole dedicated college course to this subject clearly wasn’t in their right mind.”

“Hey,” she said suddenly, slipping out of the arm chair and trekking into the small kitchen, before rustling through a static of old mail. She was silent for a few moments before letting out a small aha and grabbing something out before tossing it at you, “I thought that class sounded familiar. Isn’t the guy teaching it the one that in the teacher highlight thing for this month or whatever?”

“You actually think I read this?” you scoffed and took the small magazine, shifting through the pages as you tried to find what she was referring to you. You made it almost to the end before finding the small article hidden and tucked away at the back. Quickly skimming it, you found your professor’s small, grainy, black and white picture staring back at you, “Javier Peña. Yup, that’s him.”

“He’s hot,” Sarah quipped over your shoulder as you silently rolled your eyes at her. That was most definitely not why you had signed up for the class. While you weren’t about to admit you mirrored her thought, you couldn’t help but think she was right. There was something about the small photo looking back up at you that suggested he was...very attractive. Hell, you’d seen him in person, and could confirm. The few times you’d gotten a good look at his face, when he wasn’t bent over his notes or facing the board, you couldn’t deny that he was attractive. Tan, golden skin, thick dark hair and eyes, a handsome face. Yeah, he was hot, but you weren’t about to dwell on that, “do you think he’s single?”

“Sarah,” you groaned at her as you read over the article, surprised to find that was ex-DEA, having apprehended some of the most notorious criminals in recent history. He had seemed anything like the man they had discussed in the article when he had stood in front of the class earlier that afternoon, “that is not...no, that has nothing to do with anything. I just need to satisfy a few more credits in history and I’m done. That’s it; nothing more.”

“I’m just saying,” she shrugged before giving your shoulder a playful nudge, “a little eye candy doesn’t hurt. Especially when you’re taking a class like that. Good lord it sounds awful, I wonder how he got stuck teaching that. Was he as good looking in person?”

“Sar-ah,” you said with her namely slowly as you shook your head at her and sat up. She picked her book back up, a small playing across her features, “none of that matters. But, if you have to know, yes. He was very good looking, in that older guy kind of way.”

“Go on...” she feigned innocence but you could already see the gears turning in her head.

“There’s not much less to say,” you insisted, internally groaning, “wore glasses when he was teaching, white button up, I dunno, the average professor look.”

A damned white button up that had fit him perfectly, highlighting his broad chest, trousers that were slightly tighter than they needed to be, and a silver watch had sat on his wrist. Simple, effective, but yeah, a very good look.

“The average hot professor look, “ she sighed wistfully. The two of you, while best friends at heart, were polar opposites in many ways. While you namely cared about classes and just getting it done, she was more prone to getting lost in her daydream fantasies and pursuing matters of the heart, “I’m just saying! There’s nothing wrong with finding your professor good looking, as long as you’re respectful. Besides, he doesn’t need to know if you think about him at night or when you’re with a boy that you wish was a man like him. Besides, Javier Peña. Professor Peña. That even sounds hot.”

“Why are we friends?” you sighed as you rolled off the couch, a tone of amusement coloring your voice, “why are you the way that you are!?”

“You love me!” she called out after you as you made your way to your bedroom, deciding to get a head start on some work so you wouldn’t already fall behind.

“I’m questioning that,” you stuck your tongue out at her as you grabbed the magazine off the floor and took it along with you. You hoped she wouldn’t notice, but you were sure that her eagle eyed gaze wouldn’t miss a thing, “goodbye and good riddance!’

“Have fun staring at Professor Peña!” your cheeks felt warm and you were sure a deep crimson was already creeping into them. You remained silent as you grabbed your book bag and walked into the room, letting the door slam behind you.

Setting the bag onto your desk, you flopped on your bed as you reopened the magazine and looked back at the small picture again, re-reading the article. It didn’t say much about much him, or speak to who he really was. it was strictly related to business, just like he had seemed to be as he stood in front of the class and gave an almost two hour long lecture with no breaks. He didn’t seem much like a man that was running around and taking down criminals in the heat of Colombia. He had just seemed like a tired, worn out, disinterested man. A far cry from what was presented in the short little article.

And yet...you couldn’t help but think of the few times he met your eyes when he’d occasionally looked up from the board or his lecture notes. You swore there had been a smile on his face then, even if it was a small one, but then again, maybe you had been lost in your own delusions as you had watched him. 

You’d even done your best to actively pay attention and take notes, both wanting him to know that you cared about class and because you knew it would be your downfall if you allowed yourself to miss anything. Even if it wasn’t your cup of tea, you wanted to give him your attention; it wasn’t his fault that it was a tiresome subject - someone had to each it after all. You’d felt bad as you looked at everyone around, all so zombie like and disinterested, looking like they would rather have been anywhere else in the world. You were sure he had noticed it too. 

But you’d already decided to make an effort to actively participate in his class and do your best. You’d quickly scribbled down his office hours and told yourself that if you needed help or had questions you’d ask before you’d let yourself fall behind and struggle. Maybe he didn’t care, he didn’t really seem to, but you did. You somehow felt a need to prove to yourself that you could handle this class, and to prove to him that someone cared, that his efforts were worth it. 

As you dogeared the page with his article on it, you closed the magazine and chucked it into your desk. You didn’t know what his deal was, or wasn’t, but you figured you’d be able to something out of him. Maybe learn more about the man from Colombia, and not just the professor that seemed so lost and wrapped up in his own head.

He had seemed so tired, so...run down that for someone reason it seemed to oddly affect you. Maybe it was because you had seen a glimmer of a smile on his face, watching as his dark eyes had crinkled up the few times he caught your gaze, how it almost reached them fully. Maybe there was more to him, maybe there was more to him than he had wanted to give out. But you were determined to find out what it was. 

You were set that you would try and pull something out of Javier Peña, even if it was just a full smile. Something about him spoke to you, something had drawn you to something, causing an itch that you desperately needed to to scratch. And you sure as hell would.

»»————-　♡　————-««

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