#and everything to do with him believing two men can't be romantically involved

[mnnuni]

Marked

Evan Buck Buckley x Eddie Diaz x Reader

Summary: (Y/N)'s relationship with Buck and Eddie is discovered.

Words: 2310

Warnings: smut

"edited" : 30/03/2025

*dividers @thecutestgrotto

*pics Pinterest

Buck and Eddie's relationship was still kinda a secret for the public eye; well, kinda because they weren't sure of sharing it yet but they also weren't subtle at all with those shared looks and hidden touches. The 118 all knew about them, they were only waiting for them to have the courage to tell them.

The crew of firefighters was so proud of themselves for figuring it out: Hen brought it up one night when they were hanging out at Athena and Bobby's house and the two men conveniently left early together.

"I name it, they're totally involved" Chimney was a little confused, "what do you mean? Of course they are, they're best friends"

Athena smacked him around the head "What Hen means is...", she was thinking of a way of saying it nicely "they get each others steam off" finished Bobby. Hen and Athena nodded, the five different expressions that passed through Chimney's face were hilarious to Maddie "I can't believe you didn't notice".

What they all also didn't notice was that that night there was another person absent: their girlfriend, (Y/N).

She was way more private than them at the station, because she saw how Eddie and Buck acted around each other and let's just say even a blind could catch that they were in love; that's why she was never too close to them to be suspected. When Hen asked her about her romantic life she said "they" and "them", but everyone just assumed it was just a person who would go by these pronouns not that there were actually two people.

(Y/N) also knew that her boyfriends had their fair shares of problems with their closets and she surely wouldn't be the one to out them to their family.

The only 118 member who knew was Ravi. Poor kid caught them exiting the same room, still adjusting their uniform. From that moment (Y/N) avoided every contact with them at work and got closer to Ravi too. He was her true best friend.

"so... what are you doing for them tonight?" Ravi asked her while they were cooking for the team, "huh?" (Y/N) said looking at him from the oven; Ravi looked around, making sure no one was watching them and whispered "you know... today's your anniversary, didn't you do something?"

(Y/N) smiled. Today her, Buck and Eddie were celebrating six months officially together. "I can't believe you remembered" she hugged him tight "of course i did, how could i forget?"

It was funny how Buck was flaring his nostrils at the sign of (Y/N) talking with Ravi while he had his hands on her waist. Eddie had to put his hand on his knee, "you know they're only friends" "still..." he rolled his eyes.

(Y/N) was actually describing him the details of the dinner she had planned that night; she was so ecxited to finally go out in public with them. Ravi was really happy for her, so happy that at the end of the shift he went to Buck and Eddie and told them to be careful "she really loves you, both of you, don't screw up tonight"

He knew he only made their nerves worse, but he had to because (Y/N) really deserved the world and he knew those two idiots would give her everything she needed. He was still her best friends tough, it was his job to scare her boyfriends.

(Y/N) only texted them the address.

"Dress fancy" the sole indication.

Evan stomach was a mess. Eddie was literally sweating. They decided to get ready together; that didn't help them one bit because after getting nearly late for a too long shower together, they were second-guessing everything.

Their anxiety seemed to stop only when they spotted (Y/N) at the bar in the restaurant. She was wearing a long strapless black dress, her hair were down and naturally curled and her lips were tinted red. Buck had to touch Eddie's hand to make sure he wasn't imagining that wonderful woman in front of them. It was the first time Eddie took his hand in his in a so crowded place and just by this (Y/N) knew this would have been a magical night.

They were seated in a corner in the garden, the table was so small that (Y/N)'s legs touched both Eddie and Buck's ones. It was just how she pictured it would be: the light lights illuminated Buck's freackles ever so gently, the roses'perfume made Eddie scrunch his nose in a way that made (Y/N) want to kiss him everytime and the night breeze was a perfect excuse for them to touch her arms or shoulders constantly because of the fact she was withouth a jacket. And it was even better to see Evan and Eddie actually be confortable to act like a couple all together.

Ravi's words really helped.

When Evan put his coat over (Y/N)'s shoulder as she whispered to them "maybe you should come to mine's for dessert", Eddie's eyes sparkled and Buck's hand on her tightned.

Evan didn't drive so fast even in the truck. The air was filled with anticipation but (Y/N) had decided that because this was a special night it would go slow and good. As a matter of fact, when they entered her apartment she really had a dessert ready for them and she took it out of the oven swinging her hips ever so slightly.

"Uhm baby, we thought ehm..." Buck looked at Eddie for support while (Y/N) took three forkes "we hoped for another type of cake" the other man finished. (Y/N) chuckled "don't worry my loves, this cake just needs time" she winked and took a bite of the chocolate pastry; she really knew how to turn on her boys.

"Now, eat. I'll come back in five" with that she went to her bedroom and locked the door. Buck and Eddie could only listen to her and wait.

They were under the impression she took more than five minutes because when she came back they finished half the cake and were now kissing on the couch, Eddie said he missed Buck's lips and he surely couldn't deny them to him. They already took off their jacket and were starting to unbutton their shirt when (Y/N) cleared her throat and they departed from each other; she was wearing a silky robe and a devious grin on her face. (Y/N) didn't say anything, only took their hands and guided them in the bedroom.

"Because you were so good tonight accepting to go out with me, I want to make it up to you" and with that she took a rope from the pocket of the robe. The guys were having the time of their lives while she tied them to the headboard, she put them in a way they could touch each other's hands, like a way to compensate the fact they couldn't touch her. When she was done (Y/N) finally took off her robe.

"Holy shit" Buck breathed out.

She was wearing a red lace bodysuit and garters and with only this sight Eddie and Evan tried to untie themselves. "I'm a firefighter baby, don't even try", Buck's cock twitched in his boxers.

(Y/N) got them naked painfully slow and Eddie started to complain; that's why she started playing with Evan first.

She kissed him softly on the lips and got down from the neck to the waist licking him, his breath became heavier when she stopped, eyes on his tip. She kissed it too and then put it in her mouth.

"Oh God". Evan really liked when she worked her magic on him this slowly; Eddie next to him could only focus on her ass and be satisfied but when her hand touched his leg and started going near his balls he grunted. (Y/N) smirked on Evan's cock and he pushed his hips up. She was bobbing her head up and down faster and stroking Eddie's dick too, so fast they were both moaning.

"I-I'm cuming" Evan was practically a mess.

"Come on big boy, you're doing so good"

Hearing Eddie praise him was the last straw; Evan came so hard it made (Y/N) even wetter. When she was done sucking all his cum (Y/N) got up "you're soo good baby" she caressed Buck's cheek and turned to Eddie "want a taste?", he nodded excitedly.

Buck was trying to catch his breath while (Y/N) straddled Eddie's lap to kiss him.

She tasted of Buck.

(Y/N) lowered herself on him and Eddie moaned in the kiss at the feeling of his girlfriend pussy on him.

"It's your turn to fell good now honey"

(Y/N) unzipped her bodysuit at a slow pace and while she cupped one of her breast for show, she finished getting undressed.

Buck was quickly recovering already.

She lowered her body on Eddie and started grinding her hips to lube his cock with her wetness; when she picked his dick in her hand and came down on it Eddie almost cried out loud. Usually Buck was the loudest, maybe she teased him too much this time. (Y/N) didn't complain tough, hearing her boyfriends moan only added fuel to the fire. Now she was breathing heavily too and really needed their hands on her body, so she leaned over and untied them.

Eddie didn't waste a second and flipped them over to start thrusting into her, "You feel so good mi amor".

(Y/N) tightened her legs to his hips as Buck got in between them to touch her clit. Now (Y/N) was the loudest; she tried to be quite but the stimulation was just too much that she gripped both her boyfriends' shoulder and scratched them.

This only made them move faster.

"Come on baby, be a good girl for us"

She whined their names.

"So fucking tight hermosa"

Buck was sucking on her nipple while he pinched her clit and made her scream.

It was the best orgasm she ever had, because when she came down her high she felt Eddie's cum on her stomach and it was so fucking hot.

When they got her all cleaned up and ready for sleep -after other two rounds-, (Y/N) told them how grateful she was to have them loving her and kissed them goodnight and Buck and Eddie felt the luckiest guys in the whole world.

The next day (Y/N) was the happiest she ever was in at least two weeks -Buck cooked breakfast for her and Eddie made her bag for her- and all the station noticed. Also because she wasn't complaining about anything after one of the most tiring calls of all day;

They were changing in the locker room and Ravi approached her "I'm guessing it went well", she smiled only thinking about it "marvellous" (Y/N) answer.

"What went so good?" asked Hen as she got near them too, "little (Y/N) here had a date"

One of these days she would kill Ravi

"Oh you didn't go out in a while..." intruded Chimney, 'cause of course he would be there too.

"Yeah, that's because it was a special night" she was lost in her locker when Hen spoke again.

"They had a special night too"

"Damn!"

The confusion on (Y/N)'s face soon washed over when she turned around and understood what they were talking about: at the other side of the room Buck and Eddie were changing their shirt and were unconsciously showing off some big scratches on their back.

(Y/N)'s scratches from last night.

They were so red and so much; how couldn't they notice?

Then it hit her: they were practically identical, everyone would have known they were from the same person.

At this point every bit of dignity already left (Y/N)'s body when she run off to them.

"put a shirt on, now." She hissed.

Buck was so confused...then he looked at Eddie

"Hooly shit". He was fast to cover himself up and Eddie followed him even if he didn't understand yet.

"i May or May not have left some...marks" she tried to say it in the gentlest of ways but the damage was already done.

All of their team was watching them.

Ravi thought dinner would have been awkward; he was absolutely fucking right.

Buck, Eddie and (Y/N) were avoiding eye contact with everyone. Hen was waiting for an explanation with a smirk on her lips. Bobby was searching words for a reassuring speech after the inevitable talk, and Chimney was so fucking confused that at some point he bursted "Can somebody talk about it, please?"

(Y/N) looked at Eddie and Buck for permission, if they weren't ready she would have come up with a lie without questions. They deserved to be out when they felt like it.

But Eddie took Buck's hand in his and started talking, "we're together." Simple, direct, but so fucking freeing.

Evan felt a rock being left off his stomach, so he then took (Y/N)'s hand and continued "all three of us".

She only smiled at them.

There was a minute of silence when they thought they had made a big mistake, and everything was starting to crumble.

But again, Hen spoke "fucking finally"

"Y-you knew?" (Y/N) had to start draw circles on Buck's hand.

"Of you and Eddie? Of course! (Y/N) is... A pleasant surprise" she blushed at this.

"so...you're okay with this?" Eddie was the one to ask the question they feared the most. It was obvious to (Y/N) that the 118 wouldn't have said anything but for two newly queer men... She understood the uncertainty.

"Why wouldn't we?" Chimney answered

"Yeah, you're all happy, that's what matters to us" Bobby finished.

There was another moment of silence after, where everyone was accommodating to the news.

Ravi saw the perfect opportunity to say what he wanted to say for months now: "I knew it first!"

[avelera]

I’m curious how you think Jayce and Viktor’s romantic/sexual relationship most likely unfolded within the context of the two Arcane seasons. Do you think it would have looked something like the trajectory from Distinguished Innovators or were they just pining for each other but entirely oblivious of the other person's feelings until the very end (especially with what you said at some point about the possibility of Mel being Jayce’s first)

Hmm, so there's fanfic and canon to consider here. I think with fanfic, it can be anything the author desires.

Technically, I think the most canon-accurate romantic read of what's happening on the page is that Jayce and Viktor have feelings for each other but neither is totally aware of their feelings until Jayce has his moment staring into the fire in 2.07 when he "chooses" Viktor. Then Jayce basically confesses during their big final scene and we get a lot of hints that Viktor has felt the same way or been silently and hopelessly pining for him and now they're finally together.

But that never quite works for me because it requires a little too much "carrying the idiot ball" like... these guys spent the entire time skip between 1.03-1.04 in close quarters at all hours of the day creating Hextech together. That's before Jayce becomes the "Man of Progress" or any of that stuff and was just a regular and possibly crazy researcher who almost got banished, so it can't always be a status difference. And Jayce is so affectionate, and he falls for Mel so quickly, I really truly struggle to imagine that with no barriers to a relationship (Runeterra canonically does not have homophobia) they wouldn't have gotten together sooner if something else wasn't in the way.

So, personally, I think that they've tried to or come very close to a relationship in the past, but something prevented them from going all the way and now it's that near-miss is still there in their physicality with one another, and both might still long for it, but one of them is holding it back from happening while the other just thinks it's hopeless and I honestly think after S2 it's Viktor holding back because of his declining health, while Jayce is the one thinking he hasn't got a shot so he might as well, tragically, look elsewhere.

And I'll go into a bit more detail on why I believe that for a romantic read of these two:

(Obviously you can just go the boring old "cuz they're not romantic" but I think that's dull and reductive and presumably not why anyone is the Jayvik tag)

I also don't totally buy the idea that they hadn't figured it out yet? These are two young men in their 20s, who basically instantly connect with one another, share everything, and are openly physically affectionate with each other from the first. In my fic Distinguished Innovators there's a certain amount of shyness and the fact they're just busy to deal with but they're still young men, it's why the fic postulates a physical relationship between them that isn't exclusive or official and thus doesn't change their status as "partners".

But in fics of mine like Parley I first floated another possibility that with time I find more convincing argument: Viktor knows he doesn't have long to live, so he's resolved to keep a certain distance from Jayce and not interfere with any sort of love life he might have (even if it destroys him with jealousy) because he doesn't want Jayce to be totally destroyed by his death, which given how openly affectionate Jayce is, seems inevitable.

This one works for me increasingly because it means the characters don't need to carry the idiot ball. Viktor can have his own strong reasons for not wanting to involve Jayce in that kind of relationship and Jayce can read that Viktor doesn't want to be involved with him in that way, and maybe they even got close and he was pushed back, and he's just respecting that now because he's just happy to have his soulmate in his life in any way he can have him (which I truly sincerely believe is a canonically supported read of Jayce no matter how romantic you see their relationship).

Then the tricky thing about a disease like that is... how much time does he actually have? If it's months, he should focus on leaving a legacy, which Viktor does. If it's years, in theory, they could work on a cure for him, but what if that doesn't work? Then you run into the tragedy of the longer he lives, the more he comes to regret not being with Jayce anyway. Then there's the question of a Hextech cure. I can see Viktor resolving to himself that if he's ever cured, then he'll confess to Jayce. Which feels all but impossible at the end of S1 when Sky dies, but then in 2.08, in the Council chamber scene, it really feels like Viktor finally feels like he's allowed to openly pursue Jayce because he's "perfect" now, and that to me is a linchpin of the idea that Viktor was holding himself back from pursuing Jayce openly because of his health.

Oh and I still think it's possible that Mel is Jayce's first as a result, or very near his first if him and Viktor maybe fooled around a bit or if Jayce had other relationships before that. But there is something very innocent in the way Jayce approaches sleeping with Mel that to me feels very much like he's had only a couple partners or fewer at the very least, if he hasn't been outright "saving himself for marriage" levels of hoping Viktor will notice him someday, which is my Jayvik romantic read of that moment he pauses before returning Mel's kiss, he's thinking, "Do I realistically have a shot with Viktor?" and concluding sadly that, no, he doesn't so he might as well stop denying himself a possible relationship over it anymore.

[cheynovak]

Between power and freedom

Part 12

Characters: Dean Winchester x Y/N Shurley Female character     

Summary: Y/N, the ambitious daughter of a powerful CEO, grapples with her father's choices, while she secretly takes a job with Dean Winchester, the rugged CEO of a rival company. Sparks fly between Y/N and Dean as they navigate their growing attraction amid corporate rivalry and family pressure.

Warnings: Mentioning of dead.

English is not my first language 

*Please do not copy my work, reblog/comments/likes are appreciated*

Weeks passed, Dean and I were happy.

My dad left us alone, and everything seemed fine. Jo quit, and Dean practically moved in with me. We were madly in love until one Sunday morning.

I woke up, still naked from the aftermath of our romantic night before. Dean held me close, "not yet" he whispered as I wanted to leave his arms, his warm embrace to take a shower. The doorbell rang, and Dean called out that he would answer it.

I unhurriedly cleaned myself up and walked into the living room, wrapped in a towel, ready to start round two of our nightly activities. But I immediately noticed Dean sitting at the table, hunched over a stack of papers.

He looked... sad, as if something was weighing on him. I asked what was wrong. Dean's head snapped up, he tossed me pictures of a red-haired girl.

Dead on the street, her eyes still wide open, the fear still showing in them. The blood on the ground gave her a deadly crown. "Charlie," he said, his voice tight. "My baby sister.

"You know," he stood up, slowly walking towards me, noticed the tears in his eyes. "I never believed it was just an accident." My eyes widen "W-what do you mean?"

"Someone drove her off the road. I paid thousand of dollars to find the person who killed her, now finally, they found the car that hit her." He was seething, flipping through papers and showing me new evidence.

Apparently, an expert had come forward, offering enough evidence to reopen the case. He slid a photo across the table. It was a picture of a blue-green Corvette. “Does this look familiar?” he asked, his tone sharp.

I took the photo, my hands trembling. "No," I said quickly, shaking my head. “That can't be.” Dean was furious. He stormed toward me. I backed away, panic rising. He cornered me against the wall, his gaze intense. "You! You killed my baby sister.”

“No, Dean, please," I pleaded, my voice shaking. "That wasn’t me. It wasn’t my car.” But his anger was overpowering. "That color is custom made Y/N!" His hand hit the wall.

I was almost afraid to look at him, afraid it would feed his anger. "I trusted you, I told you about her and you... you just acted like you didn't knew her."

"Dean please... It wasn't me. I swear." His finger raised to my face. "You... You are your fathers daughter, using people, all you did what spreading those legs to get what you want!"

Tears streamed down my face. "Please." I pleaded but he wasn't listening. He grabbed his coat, eyes burning with rage. “If I ever see your face again... I'll rip your goddamn lungs out!” He turned and stormed out, leaving me frozen, unable to move.

My heart pounded in my chest, fear and confusion taking over as I wondered what had just happened between us.

But mostly what happened to Charlie.

I looked at the pictures. It was my car, but I remembered where I was when Charlie died. And there was no way was driving that car. I could’ve been involved.

And then it hit me, I rushed into my dad's office, the photos clenched tightly in my hands. “Did you know?” I demanded, my voice shaking. My dad was in the middle of a meeting, but I didn’t care. I needed answers.

He waved the men out of the room and turned to me. “Y/N, calm down.”

“No, did you know?” I repeated, stepping closer. He let out a deep sigh and gestured for me to sit. “It’s not what you think.” I wasn’t sure what to think. My mind raced with a million questions.

“What’s not what I think? Dad, this is my car. How is it even possible—”

“I did what I had to do,” he interrupted, looking exhausted. “It's a well executed plan, Y/N. I thought you would understand, eventually.” My heart dropped. “What plan? What are you talking about?” Chuck leaned back in his chair and sighed again, as if this was something he had expected me to figure out.

"You know I always wanted to be the biggest player on the market, when John refused to sell, I had to... break him a little." My eyes widen. "What?!"

"All John should have done it agree for me to buy Winchesters after he wasn’t able to work anymore since his litlel girl died. But instead he gave the company to and underage law student and a womanizer with the brains of a circus monkey."

“So years later, when I saw Dean had his eyes on you I realized I might just need to give the boy a little push himself. If I wanted to break the Winchester family. Dean was the key.” I stared at him in disbelief. “What are you saying? You used me, twice... to hurt them?”

“Well,” Chuck said, his voice colder now. “when Dean started getting close to you…, it all fell into place.” I shook my head, struggling to process his words. “I never asked for any of this, Dad. I never wanted to be part of your plan. I wanted to follow you, take over pur business, not the Winchesters.”

He looked at me as if I were just another pawn. “I did what I had to do to ensure our future. You knew damn well what you got into while agreeing to work at Winchesters.” A wave of disgust swept over me.

"No! No I thought finding shady books or, or, or something illegal. I'm not talking about murder!“

"What if the cops find out it was my car?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. Chuck’s expression was cold and calculating. “They won’t. You’ll be fine. I made sure of that.” Tears welled up in my eyes as the weight of everything hit me. “Dean did... he found out.”

Chuck’s face remained impassive. “He didn't. I made sure those pictures where delivered at your door step. Because I can't even look at you knowing you willingly let a Winchester touch you!"

I felt betrayed. "You don't care about the damage this will do, do you? You just want to win. And now you’ve put me in the middle of it all.” Chuck stared at me for a long time. ���You were always part of this, whether you like it or not. It’s time to grow up, Y/N.”

I turned away, my mind a whirlwind of confusion and betrayal. "I can't believe you'd risk getting your own daughter to jail, that's sick dad!"

"But you're not my daughter!" Chuck slammed his hand on the desk. "You're just a by product from your moms wild adventures! She had so desperately be the cheating whore and run off with that hillbilly scum Bobby!"

He waited a second," And it look like you are nothing but a copy of your mother. So eager to run off with the enemy."

I saw Chucks mouth moving but nothing after that reached me anymore. Everything came crashing down on me.

Dean, Charlie, dad, mom... Bobby.

Was it all a lie?

--

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[itsseohannbin]

• Like A Volcano | Part Six | • SMUT MDNI

Han Jisung Mini Series

© itshannjisung, 2024

♡ itsseohannbins masterlist ♡

Series Masterlist

Chapter Genre: Crack💥 Angst⚡️Fluff 💕Suggestive Themes 💋

-Bestfriends to Lovers Trope-

Summary: being best friends with the kings of kpop always has its ups and downs, and when you're offered a spot on the next European-American book tour to promote the publishing of your new book, there's one kpop king in particular who just doesn't want you to go.

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x Female Reader x Bestfriend Skz

** Includes two of my own original female characters, both whom are romantically involved with two of the members. Chan x Jo / Minho x Ash **

Warnings: Swearing. brief vulnerability over the trauma yn went through. good guy Jisung (srsly why can't all men be this incredible?). tooth-rotting fluff throughout but mostly towards the end. the boys do not use honorifics. reader is called jagiya & princess SMUT; making out. dry-humping/grinding. breast/nipple play. dirty-ish talk. soft!dom Han. brief dom/sub reader. praise kink. slight doting. fingering. anal play (f rec). edging. unprotected sex (dont do this). p in v sex. reader is on the pill, though it is not mentioned. failed pull out method/cumming inside. multiple positions. hair pulling (m rec). crying during sex. biting. overstimulation (m and f rec). flaccid-fucking. multiple orgasms.

I think that's everything. lmk if I missed something!

Word Count: 11k (lol whoops)

Screenshot Count: 8

**this chapter is edited and revised**

Enjoy!

The second you stepped foot back inside of your apartment with Jisung by your side, a wave of anxiety stabbed you abruptly in the gut. Not because of what was yet to come once the two of you eventually reached the bedroom, but because that same helpless feeling you felt earlier in the night had returned, hitting you at full force despite having Jisung glued to your side.

Your eyes darted around the living room nervously as you dropped your keys onto the table by the door and discarded your shoes. You expected something to jump out from the shadows at any given moment, though logically, you knew nobody else was in here. 

Still, your body tensed as you strode further inwards, your jaw clenched in anticipation as the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, waiting for something to happen.

A big part of you still felt Seojun lingering in every corner of the one-bedroom apartment you rented out, and when a gust of wind blew in through the cracked window and sent your curtains flying about, you nearly screamed in surprise. Fortunately, all that left your mouth was a small gasp, causing Jisungs arms to wrap around you in an instant.

“It’s alright, Jagiya.” he cooed softly in your ear as his arms tightened around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder. “He’s not here. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

Your eyebrows shot upwards in surprise at his words, causing you to turn in his hold and look at him in confusion.

“How did you-?” you paused and squinted at him, the pieces forming together quickly inside of your mind. “Minho, that bastard.” you finished with an annoyed grunt.

Obviously it was Minho.

Jisungs hand came up to hold the back of your head as he pulled you into a hug. 

“Please don’t be mad at Min, okay? When he, Chan, Jo and Ash left in a hurry this morning I knew something was going on. I practically forced it out of him the second they got back home.” he explained. "I didn't want to believe it until I saw for myself, so I'm sorry for what I said back at the club. You didn't deserve the way I spoke to you. I was just hurt and confused."

You swallowed roughly at the news, wondering how much Minho had told him.

“How much do you know?” You asked, barely registering the coldness that seemed to seep into your words. You bit the inside of your cheek as you waited for Jisungs response.

“He didn’t tell me the details.” he reassured you, his arms still holding you in a tight embrace. “Just that that asshole was hurting you. He didn’t even tell me you were home.”

You nodded slowly, lost in thought. 

Despite wanting to be mad at Minho, you knew you couldn’t be. Your friends always had your best interests in mind, even if it didn’t seem like it at times, so Minho telling Jisung meant he was confident Jisung wouldn’t say anything to anyone, especially not to the others.

Though, you knew with how nosy and protective they all were, they’d all find out the truth eventually. It wasn’t like you were planning on hiding it from them, you just wanted to avoid the topic as long as you could. But right here, right now, you couldn’t think of any reason not to tell Jisung the details of what you went through.

You trusted him with your life, and this, whatever this was, was forever. He’d never leave your side again and you knew you’d never leave his.

“Do you want to know?” you asked softly, almost whispering as your head dipped and your eyes found your feet. You wouldn’t push it upon him, but you knew letting him know you trusted him with everything in you was important. He needed the reassurance, needed to see how serious you were about him, about this, about whatever came next for the two of you after tonight.

Jisung was silent for a moment as his fingers found the cast on your arm, causing your eyes to lift up anxiously and meet him once more. He looked pained and unsure as he stared at the plaster, as if the answer to your question was more than just a simple yes or no, because in all honesty, it was. 

This was about more than just finding out what makes each other tick, it was about being vulnerable and opening up about the trauma you worked so hard to push away. It was about giving someone the opportunity to destroy you and trusting them not to. It was about handing them a ‘get out of jail’ free card and then praying they wouldn’t use it, that they wouldn’t leave, that they’d stay.

It was scary. 

No, it was fucking terrifying, but for Jisung, you would do anything.

After a couple of short, thoughtful breaths, Jisung gave you a sad smile. 

“Not unless you want me to know. And even then, I won’t pressure you into telling me.” he answered, softly kissing the tip of your nose. “Just know that I’m not going anywhere, okay? No matter what you went through and who you become because of it, I’ll be right here. I’ll stick by your side while you work through this and do whatever it is you need of me to help. We’re in this together.”

It was like a flame had suddenly ignited inside the depths of your heart at his words. Like someone had poured gasoline into your veins in an attempt to bring you down, and Jisungs words, his encouragement, was the match that lit you on fire and allowed you to fight back.

The sentiment was short and sweet, one that anybody else would have laughed at and waved off as him being too cheesy, but to you, it meant everything. You could feel the sincerity and truth behind each vowel, each consonant, and it made your heart burst with a form of emotion you’ve never felt before.

It was more than the happiness and joy you felt when you were surrounded by your friends, more than the excitement and anticipation you endured when you walked out on stage and found thousands of fans staring back at you. It was more than any pain and sadness you felt during your time away.

This was it. This was true love. And you found it in your best friend, just like you always hoped you would.

A smile broke out onto your face and an unexpected sob escaped your throat as you stared into Jisungs big, beautiful eyes. The ones that held so much adoration, so much joy, so much respect. You saw galaxies upon galaxies inside them, the chocolatey brown nearly hypnotising you as they sparkled in the dim light.

In that moment, you wanted him, needed him, in every way possible, but the words got caught in your throat and all that you managed to squeak out was a small “Thank you Ji.”

Jisung smiled back at you, a laugh seeping from his lips.

“Anything for you, Princess.” he whispered. Your heart skipped a beat.

“Anything, you say?” you then raised your eyebrow suggestively, causing his gummy smile to fade into one of his signature smirks.

The way his eyes darkened as if on cue had a fire stirring in your lower belly.

“Absolutely anything.” he chimed back without hesitation.

And those words of affirmation were all you needed to pick up where the two of you left off at the club. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him to you, swiftly connecting your lips to his. Immediately, he scooped you up and wrapped your legs around his waist as his tongue pushed against your lips, demanding entry.

Before you knew it, you were straddling Jisung on the couch, your tongues both slowly and lazily tasting each other, exploring the expanses of what the other had to offer. While your fingers threaded through his hair, his hands explored you at an achingly slow pace. It was like he couldn’t get enough of you, his movements neverending as he memorised every inch of skin he could find.

All traces of wanting to rip his clothes off had exited your mind the second he sat the two of you down. There was no rush. You guys had the rest of your lives to jump into the sheets with one another. This night, however, would be one you both would remember for eternity, and the both of you cherished every breathing second you had as if it would be your last.

Every breath was slow, every touch delicate and teasing, every smile and giggle against the others lips dissolved into another long, searing-hot kiss. The two of you could stay like this for hours and still neither of you would be completely satisfied.

You weren’t sure how long the two of you sat like this for, just holding each other while your tongues battled for dominance, but when Jisung eventually pulled away, the two of you were breathless and exhausted.

You didn’t say a word as his big eyes found yours, his hands finally teasing the hem of the shirt you had on, a look of question in his eyes. He was silently asking permission to go further, to touch more of you, and you hoped the half nod and smile you sent back his way would suffice as an answer as you were still struggling to catch your breath.

Jisung didn’t give you much time to do so before he captured your lips once more and put his hands to work.

When his large, calloused hands dipped beneath the fabric, a jolt of electricity shot across your skin and a gasp fell from your lips into Jisungs open mouth. He smiled against you before reaching his hands higher, his fingers softly tracing up your spine until he came into contact with the clasp of your bra.

With one flick of his wrist, your clasp was undone, and he wasted no time bringing one of his hands around to slip under the cup and grab ahold of your breast.

With his other hand, he pulled your shirt over your head while he gently kneaded you in his palm, your bra following shortly after. He pulled away from your lips and leaned back to briefly stare at your now naked chest in wonder. 

“Jesus Christ Jagi,” he whispered delightfully, his thumb coming up to run across your already hardened nipple. Your body jolted at the sensation, causing an evil grin to lift the corners of his mouth while a puddle formed in your panties. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

A blush crept to your cheeks, but instead of feeling insecure and shying away from him, you felt your ego boost to a whole new level.

Jisung brought his face to your chest and delicately kissed the cluster of scabs that sat at the crevice where your torso and arm met. You expected the old cigarette burns to hurt when his lips came into contact with them, but you felt nothing but neutral sensitivity. The action was so intimate and soft you almost lost your senses, but then Jisung was back to the task at hand an instant later, the soft, sweet moment gone. 

“Does that feel good, Princess?” Jisung asked as he rubbed his thumb across your nipple once more, watching the way your head fell back while a moan escaped your lips. You nodded in response, your hips seeming to have a mind of their own as they swung back before dragging forwards against the bulge in his pants that didn’t seem to fully go away ever since you kissed him in the club.

Both of you moaned noisily into the emptiness of the apartment as you repeated your actions several more times, the two of you feeling the wave of pleasure you both so desperately craved but were too nervous to insinuate up until now. 

“That’s it Jagi, lemme’ hear those pretty sounds.” Jisung mumbled as his other hand came up to cup your other breast, his thumbs now both circling around your nipples simultaneously.

Your jaw fell open and your eyes squeezed closed as pleasure shot through your body at his actions, another moan eliciting itself from deep within. With his thumbs gently playing with your nipples and his dick growing harder and harder against your core, you swore you were on cloud nine. A laugh escaped Jisungs throat as he watched you seductively grind against him.

“That’s my girl.” he praised softly, smiling up at you. Your eyes popped open at his words, the praise sending chills straight down to your pussy, and he flashed you another evil grin before bringing his face back into your chest. 

He wasted no time in clamping his mouth down around one of your nipples, his tongue expertly running over it as his now free arm folded around you, holding you against him and causing a halt in your hips movements. A high-pitched cry left your mouth when he pinched the opposite nipple between his thumb and pointer finger, his tongue still working wonders against you.

It had been so long since you had any of this, felt any of this, that you weren’t sure what to do, how to react. No one had ever touched you like this before. Seojun barely spared you any type of physical affection when the two of you got intimate, and if he did, it was brief, never lasting long enough for you to even get worked up over.

Jisung was bringing you into unfamiliar territory, and quickly at that. Despite his strong hold against your lower back, despite wanting to melt into the way his tongue slowly worked your sensitive bud, blowing at it and nibbling when he needed to breathe, you couldn’t help but wiggle. You needed to feel this on top of the added movement of your hips grinding against his. You needed to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling build up in your tummy that you haven’t felt in years.

“Ji.” you cried as your hands flew up to tug at his hair, trying to pull him from your chest. Jisung mumbled a soft ‘hmmm’ in response, his attention solely focused on your breasts. 

“I need more.” you whined. The way your lower lip jutted out was more than a little pathetic, you knew that, but with the way Jisung was pleasuring you right now, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Jisung pulled away from you then and craned his head back to stare at you. 

“What’s wrong, Princess?” he doted, his fingers pausing in their attack on your swollen nipple and coming up to tug at your pout. “You want more?”

You cried against his touch.

“I need more.” you emphasised, your hips still struggling to move against his firm hold. "I need you." 

Jisung paused to brush a strand of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear and giving you a firm kiss on the lips before he released his hold on you.

"God, I want you so bad Princess." he whispered as his darkened eyes sparkled into yours. You swung your hips back and grinded hard against him, continuing your previous assault on the boner in his pants.

"Then fucking take me already Ji." you begged.

Jisung let out a small sigh and brushed some more hair from your face.

"I can't." he pouted. “Even though there’s nothing I would rather do more.”

You quirked your eyebrow and smirked at him as your hips continued their slow movement against his.  "Oh, and why is that Ji?" you teased around a small gasp, bringing your face to his jawline where you began planting soft kisses. 

Jisung sighed once more, his body growing tense under you, and you immediately stopped all of your movements. You pulled back to look at him, your eyes widening in concern as you took in the anxious expression that had suddenly fallen upon his face and the way he was nervously chewing on his lower lip,

“Ji, Baby, what’s wrong?”

Jisung swallowed roughly before his gaze fell to your shoulder. He pulled his lower lip into his mouth completely, his breath shaky as he gave you a slow response, the anticipation killing you.

“I just,” he paused before his eyes found yours again, his once darkened pupils now dilated with worry. “I don't want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you. We both have alcohol in us and I don’t want our first time to be made on a drunken decision that you’re gonna’ regret in the morning.”

His honesty melted your heart but his insecurities threatened to disintegrate it completely. You hadn’t even thought of the fact that the two of you were running on alcohol and adrenaline alone. You were completely consumed by him that you didn’t even stop to think about what he wanted, what he needed.

It was your turn to reach up and tug at his pout.

“Han Jisung, the man you are.” you whispered in complete awe. Jisung’s lower lip jutted out further and he blinked up at you through his long lashes.

“I’m sorry, Bubs.” he whispered. Instantly, your hands flew up to cup his face, forcing him to tilt his head back and look at you completely.

“Hey. None of that.” you lightly scolded. “Never apologise for speaking your mind and telling me how you feel, okay?” Your eyes shone into his so intensely Jisung thought he might cry. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint you and his anxiety was quickly making him feel as if he was.

He swallowed hard again, his eyes darting between yours. The two of you stared at each other intimately for a moment before he nodded, his body relaxing slightly beneath you.

"I will never regret you." you then added, making sure he understood every syllable and that he felt the truth behind your claim. “Never.”

A small breath of relief left Jisungs mouth and he nodded again, the reassurance charging him like a battery. That’s all he needed to hear.

“Thank you Jagi.” he whispered, his face leaning into the hands that were pressed against his cheeks. The warmth that radiated from your body mixed with the smell of you was soothing and comforting to him, so much so he suddenly felt tired and exhausted and like he could fall asleep right then and there.

You noticed his eyes closing, his body melding into yours, and you leaned forward to plant a kiss on his exposed forehead. Jisung smiled and opened his eyes slightly to beam up at you.

“I’d do anything for you, you know that, right?” you asked softly, your thumbs running delicately against his cheek bones. Jisung's eyes sparkled at your words, his lips tilting upwards into another one of his signature smirks.

“Anything?” he mimicked your words from earlier, causing a giggle to escape your lips. God, he could listen to that sound all day.

You gave his cheeks a small squeeze.

“Absolutely anything.” you quipped back before placing another kiss on his forehead, followed by one to his nose. Jisungs smirk broke out into a smile before he carefully hoisted you off of his lap and held his hand out to you while he stood from the couch.

“Come shower with me?” he asked, his eyes glimmering with joy. You stared up at him, your mind still trying to process how he managed to get you off of him and on to his feet so quickly.

“What?” you asked out of habit. It wasn’t that you hadn’t heard him, you heard him loud and clear, but your brain was foggy as the adrenaline from your lewd actions began to simmer.

Jisung took your hand in his and pulled you to your feet when you took too long to do so yourself. He wasted no time planting a kiss to your cheek before pulling you towards the bathroom door, that damn evil grin appearing on his face once more.

“The sooner we shower and clean up, the sooner we can go to sleep, and the sooner we go to sleep, the sooner we can wake up and do what we’re both dying to do right now.”

He didn’t even wait for your answer as he opened the door to the bathroom and pulled you promptly inside.

*****

Waking up the next morning beside Jisung was a strange and unfamiliar sensation. Not because you had someone in the bed next to you, that much you were used to by now, but because of the sheer level of intimacy that was shared between the two of you as your limbs tangled together in peace. 

You never woke up in another person's arms before, their face pressed into the back of your neck where their breath tickled you softly. It was strange to wake up engulfed in another person's scent, their arms wrapped tightly around your torso as if they were scared you’d disappear if they let go, even in their sleep.

It had been a long time since you woke up feeling this calm and at peace.

It had been a long time since you felt this safe.

You blinked your eyes open and glanced over at the alarm clock on your bedside table. It was only six in the morning. You let out a small groan. 

You were careful not to jostle Jisung too much as you reached blindly for your phone. You were happy to see you hadn’t received any more messages or calls from Seojun, but the twelve missed calls from Jo and the endless group chat messages left you feeling just as crappy.

You had totally forgotten to text the group last night to let them know you and Jisung were together and safe. You stifled a sound of guilt as you lazily swiped across the screen to read the messages everyone had sent.

You let out a small sigh, laughing silently to yourself at your friends and their antics. You debated texting them back, but Jisung shifting his body behind you had you dropping your phone to the table once more and turning softly in his embrace.

He lay on his back, his one arm still tightly wrapped around you while the other was now thrown across his forehead, trying to block the sunlight that poured into the room. A cool breeze blew through the open window, causing him to squeeze you against his warm body.

You rested your head onto his shoulder and glanced up at him, admiring him as he slept. 

He was absolutely exquisite.

His skin was glowing against the early morning sun, making the small scar along his forehead and the mole on his cheek stand out prominently. There were bags under his eyes, only slightly lighter than they were the night before, and his long eyelashes cast shadows across his cheeks beautifully.

The scar beside his eye was practically begging for you to run your finger along it, so you did, reaching up gently and making sure your touch was feather-light. With a mind of its own, your finger then moved to trace the bridge of his nose down to the tip before slowly running along the plushness of his lips. 

Your face began to heat up as you thought about his lips and what else they were capable of other than kissing you senseless, and you were so wrapped in the thought that you nearly jumped when Jisungs fingers dug into your side lovingly a moment later, signalling he was awake.

You grinned up at him and poked his mole, causing a smile to breakout across his face, his eyes still closed.

“Good Morning Princess,” he whispered, his voice raspy from sleep. “Did you sleep well?”

With your finger still prodding at the tiny beauty mark, you sighed.

“Better than I have in years.” you told him honestly. Jisung just smiled and brought his other arm around you again, pulling you up so you were laying on top of him, your legs now tangling with his.

You rested your hands along his naked chest, your chin propped on top of them as you melted into his touch and watched as his eyes opened slowly. He looked down at you as one of his hands reached up to brush his knuckles softly against your cheek.

“You’re so gorgeous, Jagiya.” he murmured. “I love you so much.”

You didn’t need to say it back. Jisung knew just from the twinkle in your eyes how deeply you felt for him. It made his heart pound in happiness.

The two of you were silent for a moment, staring at each other in wonder as you both got lost in thought. You felt breathless knowing he was yours now, completely and undeniably so.

You were so scared he wasn’t going to want you back after everything that happened. You were so sure you were going to tell him how you felt and he would just turn around and leave you in the dust, much like you left him. 

The fact that the two of you were here now, clinging to each other while you both tried to rid your bodies from sleep, was an absolute dream come true. It couldn’t have turned out better.

You impulsively reached one hand up to trace your fingers against his lips once more, your mind once again swirling with thoughts of him pleasuring you with it.

“I was so worried I wasn’t going to get you back.” you whispered, trying to mask the blush on your cheeks.

Jisung grabbed your fingers and kissed them gently before resting his cheek against them. 

“I was so worried you weren’t going to come back.” he answered just as quietly, his eyes staring into yours. You gave him a cheeky grin as you scooted up his torso, bringing your face level with his.

“Yejun told me about all of your late night endeavours. You’ve been pretty busy since I’ve been gone, huh?” you teased before planting a kiss to his cheek and nestling your face into his neck. You breathed him in as his arms wrapped tightly around you, holding you in place. 

A sigh left his mouth at your words and he let out an embarrassed chuckle.

“Yeah, I’m not proud of who I became when you left. Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me and it was obvious by my actions that I didn’t give a single fuck about those girls or their feelings.” he mumbled. You could tell by the tone in his voice he was severely disappointed in himself, so you lifted your head from his neck and poked his mole again as you stared into his eyes.

“Hey, those girls were lucky to have been underneath you.” you joked. Jisung gave you a soft smile and pushed some hair out of your eyes again as he answered, causing your heart to leap in your chest.

“And yet, none of them stood a single chance against you.”

You dimpled up at him, feeling speechless at his cheesy words before planting a tender kiss to his lips, though Jisung suddenly had other ideas in mind.

As you pulled your face away from him, his hand came up to hold the back of your head, halting you so he could chase you with his lips and pull you back down.

Despite the forty-five minute shower the two of you had the night before, where you did nothing but make out relentlessly in between washing each other's bodies, you still felt your stomach flutter when he pushed his lips against yours.

Despite the hour or so afterwards that you guys spent just holding each other in bed and kissing, never reaching past second base, you still felt your heart thump excitedly in your chest when Jisungs tongue slipped past your swollen lips and battled against yours.

Kissing him now felt as natural to you as breathing, but it still left you feeling breathless and weak to the butterflies that filled your tummy like it was the first kiss all over again. Well, second technically.

But, unlike the many kisses that were shared the night before, this one was quick to become needy and desperate. Gone was the long and slow exploration of each other's mouths and in came frenzied desire as you two clung to each other, both acknowledging it was now morning and you were free to do what you so desperately longed for all night.

With his tongue still battling yours, Jisung removed his hands from your head and let them roam down your body until they were cupping your ass. He squeezed handfuls of your cheeks into his palms, his nails digging desperately into your skin, causing you to hiss in delight as he pulled you against him. You could feel his bulge growing hard against the inside of his boxer briefs, and you felt excitement shake your bones when he lightly lifted his hips to push himself against your core.

You moaned noisily into Jisungs mouth as his hands then slipped further down your ass, his fingers reaching to prod lightly at your panty-covered core from behind. He wasted no time sliding your panties aside and running a finger teasingly along your folds, a groan leaving his mouth as he felt how wet you already were for him.

“Princess,” he mumbled against your lips, his hips pressing up into yours again. “You’re already so wet for me and I haven’t even done anything yet.” he teased as he slowly inserted the tip of his finger into you, only slipping far enough in to reach his first knuckle.

The feeling of just the tip of his finger toying with you had a whine slipping from your mouth as your hips began to grind against his.

“Sungie,” you groaned. “Need you so bad.”

Jisung grinned up at you in awe as he hugged you tight to his chest, his eyes sparkling in excitement when he slowly inserted his finger further into you. The most delectable sound left your mouth, encouraging him to then pump his finger in and out at a snails pace.

The feeling of his clothed dick pushing up into you mixed with his finger softly sliding in and out of your pussy had your legs shaking and your breath caught in your throat. He felt so damn good you could cry.

Jisung mocked the pout that fell onto your face with one of his own as he stared into your eyes, gauging your reaction to his actions.

“What’s wrong Bubby? Feels good, huh? You like it when I touch you like that?”

All you could do was nod in response and let your face fall into the crook of his neck, your breathing heavy.

It had been so long since you’ve been this worked up by something that wasn’t yourself and your own fingers. It was almost painful to feel your orgasm building so quickly.

Unexpectedly, Jisung slipped another finger into you at the same time that he dipped the tip of his thumb over the opening to your anus. A loud, almost pornographic gasp escaped from your throat at the unfamiliarity and foreign sensation.

No one had ever touched you there before, and while you never saw yourself as someone who would enjoy anything to do with that part of your body, you couldn’t deny the absolute euphoria that rattled your bones as Jisung repeated his actions once more.

“Is that okay, Princess?” he whispered, watching you intently for any signs of discomfort. You nodded quickly against his neck before lifting your face to come level with his again.

“Mm'do it again.” you begged before you pressed your mouth to his, the kiss immediately becoming sloppy, teeth clashing against each other as your resolve began to slip.

“Anything for my girl.” Jisung murmured back before he dipped his thumb into your opening again, his fingers moving in time with it.

The heat in your belly grew at double the speed as Jisung worked his digits inside of you. You felt manic as his hold around you loosened, allowing you room to move your hips against his all over again.

Within minutes, the three different sensations all working against you in tandem had you practically screaming, begging for relief. It was all too much.

Just as your head began to grow foggy and the heat in your stomach was on the verge of exploding, Jisung pulled his fingers out of you and flipped you onto your back, stopping you before you could reach your release.

A cry left your mouth involuntarily at the sudden loss of contact.

“What the fuck Ji?” you gasp, your breathing coming out in spurts.

Jisung smirked down at you from where he was hovering over your body on his forearms, his legs tangled with yours as he pressed his erection into your thigh. His silver-blonde hair fell into his eyes as that wicked smile spread across his puffy cheeks.

“Sorry Jagi, but I don’t want you cumming yet unless it's around my cock.”

A growl left your mouth unexpectedly.

“Motherfucker.” you ground out around clenched teeth as you pushed him off of you. Jisungs eyes widened in surprise but he obeyed you without a hassle, allowing you to push him back against the headboard and straddle his thin waist.

“Let’s see if you’re as bratty and submissive as everyone thinks you are.” you half-threatened, your hands working quickly to slip off his boxers. His thick, hard cock bounced back lightly against his stomach, causing you to pause and stare at him in wonder as you threw his boxers somewhere behind you.

Jisung bit the inside of his cheek at your hesitation, watching you nervously as you stared down at him. 

“Is it okay, Jagi?” he whispered out. Your eyes flickered up to his and you saw mountains of insecurity in them. Without a pause, you nodded your head and licked your lips, your eyes travelling back downwards.

“It’s fucking perfect Ji. Can’t wait to feel it inside of me.”

A small sigh left his mouth, his shoulders relaxing at your reassurance. 

“How’s your pull out game?” you then asked as you continued to stare at him, saliva pooling in your mouth at the mere thought of having him pumping inside of you. Jisung was quick to answer, his insecurities gone as quick as they came.

“As strong as it needs to be, why?”

“I just wann’ feel you raw.” you answered around a huff as you slid your panties off. The shirt Jisung was wearing the night before hung loosely around your body, barely covering your naked skin. Jisung swore he could cum right then and there from just the sight of you.

“Yeah?” his muscles tensed at the thought of having you wrapped around him with nothing separating your bodies. He moaned lightly just imagining it.

You licked your lips and nodded swiftly in response as you straddled his hips, his dick throbbing deliciously in between the two of you. 

"Yes. Please. Just let me feel you." You cried. You reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair again and pulled his head back roughly, your eyes shining into his.

Shamelessly, Jisung moaned into the feeling, staring up at you as if his biggest dreams were coming true, because they were.

He always dreamed of being with a dominant girl in the bedroom, but all of the females he’s ever been with insisted on him using his dominance over them. Sure, there was nothing he loved more than bending someone over and fucking them into submission, and he couldn't wait to do that to you, but he longed for the chance to let someone direct him. He yearned to let someone be in control for once and use him to their heart's content.

 And alas, here you were, doing exactly that without even being asked.

As if you needed to be any more perfect for him.

As if he needed to be more in love with you than he already was.

“There’s no one like you Jagiya.” he whispered in awe before he wrapped his arms around you and pressed his lips against yours. You positioned yourself over his dick and pulled his hair roughly once more, earning another whimper from his mouth before you lowered yourself down onto him.

The stretch was slow, excruciatingly delicious. He filled you so perfectly you nearly came from the skin on skin contact alone. Jisung must’ve felt it too because he squeezed his nails into your hip bones and helped pull you down completely until your pelvis was flush with his, a hiss slipping from his lips as euphoria hit him.

For several long seconds, the two of you froze, both crying out in pleasure at the highs that were already building from the naked sensation of each other's bodies against one another.

It made you feel delirious, the way he fit inside you so flawlessly, the tip of his cock pressing against your cervix delicately. Your hips twitched with anticipation, causing his dick to press further into you and you couldn’t do anything except let your head fall to his shoulder as a whine left your lips.

“Ji, Baby,” you cried. “You feel so good.”

Jisungs breathing was already laboured as he focused on not cumming inside you. Your walls clenched around him so effortlessly it was almost as if your bodies were made for each other.

“I know, Jagi. I know. Your pussy feels so good around me, it’s making me fucking crazy.” he whined.

"Are you good to go?" You asked, barely holding yourself back from grinding your hips down onto his. Jisung took another deep breath and nodded, desperate to feel you. 

You smiled against the skin of his shoulder as you then began to rock your hips, riding him slowly, allowing both of your bodies time to adjust to the feeling. Everytime you'd rock your hips forward, you'd yank Jisungs hair, causing him to whimper and buck his hips up into you, which in turn only encouraged you to move again, desperate for that friction. 

It was a vicious cycle that had you both whining with pleasure as you made love to him. Because that's what this was. You weren't fucking him, you were pouring every ounce of love you had for the man underneath you into each roll of your hips, and you knew, you felt, the loving pouring back into you from him as he thrust his hips upwards to meet you halfway. 

It didn't take you for long to reach your high again. The knot in your stomach tightened quickly with each movement and you were whimpering into Jisungs ear desperately despite being the one in charge. 

Jisung pressed his lips to your ear when he felt your pussy clench around him beautifully. He smiled against your earlobe as he tightened his hold around you.

"That's it Princess. Cum all over my cock." He whispered. That sentence alone, hearing the dirty words slip past his lips, is what sent you over the edge and you did exactly that. You came, hard, drenching him in your juices as a loud gasp fell from your lips and you dug your nails into his shoulders. 

Your legs shook violently as Jisung continued pressing his hips up into you, extending your orgasm into one of the best highs you've ever had. It had been so long since you've had one that tears immediately formed in your eyes and pooled down your cheeks. 

You shoved your face into Jisungs neck and sniffled, trying to stop the tears from flowing. Tears of relief for reaching the high you were barely able to accomplish on your own, and tears of happiness because Jisung was the one beneath you, making you feel this way. 

You always dreamed of this, of him being beneath you, on top of you, inside of you. You spent the last year and a half with another man, fantasising about this one specifically, and having those fantasies finally become a reality was absolutely mind altering. You've never been happier than in this moment.

Jisung stopped his hips movements when he felt your tears wet his skin, and he pulled away slightly to look up at you in concern. 

"Are you okay Princess? What's wrong?" His big, brown eyes were full of worry as he watched you cry. His dick was still hard inside of you, and yet all he could focus on was your emotions. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You apologised as you wiped at the wetness on your cheeks. Jisungs hand came up to help wipe the tears that were spilling over uncontrollably. 

"What are you apologising for, Bubs?"

You hiccuped and shoved your face back into his neck, feeling heat flush your cheeks in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. I'll be able to keep going in a minute. I just-” you hiccuped again. “I just haven't had one of those in a long time." You explained. 

"What, an orgasm?" Jisung was briefly shocked at your revelation, but it quickly turned to downright annoyance when realisation hit, but it wasn’t directed at you.

"Wait, that asshole never…?" He trailed off when he felt you shake your head against his neck. The two of you were quiet for a couple seconds as Jisung pulled you impossibly closer to him, his dick still twitching restlessly.

“How long has it been since you had one that wasn’t your own doing?” he asked quietly, his heart breaking for you. You took a shaky breath and mumbled your answer into his shoulder, feeling your cheeks flush even more.

“Years.”

Jisungs eyes nearly bulged out of his head, and he was glad you stayed nestled into him. The last thing he wanted was his surprise to be mistaken as pity and have you get even more upset than you already seemed to be.

“Oh, Princess.” he doted as he tightened his hold on you and flipped you onto your back unexpectedly with ease, his dick still burrowed deep inside you. The second your head hit the pillow, your eyes widened with worry and you began to shake your head in protest.

“What are you doing? No, no, no. I’m on top. I’m always on top.” you felt panic begin to grow inside your chest, but it faded away just as quickly as you saw the reassurance in Jisungs eyes. He pulled a hand out from beneath you and wiped at your tears, brushing his fingertips lightly against your cheekbones before kissing them promptly.

“Just take a deep breath Bubs” he whispered. “How about you let me make you feel good, hm? It’s the least I could do for the love of my life.” he cooed. You stared up at him in confusion for a moment, trying to process what it was he said.

He wanted to take over and fuck you?

The idea of being on the receiving end felt so foreign and strange to you. You’ve been the dominant one for so long, you barely remembered what it felt like to let someone else be in control. You stared up at him with your big beautiful eyes, a look of uncertainty in them, and Jisung’s heart nearly broke all over again. 

It was at that moment he vowed to himself that he would always do everything in his power to give you as many orgasms as you wanted, whenever you wanted. Anything to get that look of insecurity off your face.

He brushed his fingers against your cheek again when you still didn’t give him a consensual answer to keep going.

“Let me take care of you, Bubby. Let me show you what it feels like to be with a real man. One who loves every square inch of you, inside and out. Just lay back and let Sungie do all the work, yeah?” 

The amount of promise and emotion in his eyes had you choking on your next breath. A feeling of excitement brewed low in your stomach, one you hadn’t felt in forever, and you nodded eagerly. You didn’t realise how badly you were craving this until now.

With a satisfied smile, Jisung pulled out of you completely and kissed your forehead before repositioning himself. He took your one leg and laid it flat against the bed, moving to straddle it as he hoisted the other up onto his shoulder. Your body twisted slightly with the movement, leaving you half on your side and leaving your pussy tight and ready for him.

With his hand cradling your leg, he turned his head and kissed your calf softly before positioning himself at your entrance.

“Are you ready Princess?” he asked. You nodded breathlessly, eager to have him fill you up once more. Jisung sent you one of his sweet, gummy smiles before he turned his head and bit roughly into the muscle of your calf, his dick pushing into you at the same time. The pain and pleasure of both actions mixed together so perfectly you let out a string of curse words in response.

The position he had you in was new, one you never tried before, and while your butt ached from the way your body was twisted, you couldn’t deny how good it felt. His dick was pushing against your cervix so flawlessly you nearly passed out from the pleasure alone.

“Oh my fucking god,” you cried as Jisungs hips began to rock into you. The friction of his pelvis rubbing against yours from how deep he pushed was blinding, his mouth only adding to the intensity as he licked and bit at your leg.

You let out a loud squeal as he pulled himself half-way out and slammed back into you again. 

“I told myself I was going to take my sweet ass time with you, but the way your pussy is clenching around me right now is making me fucking feral Princess.” he breathed as he picked up his pace, his hips rocking more forcefully into you.

You let your head fall into the pillow as another round of obscene sounds left your throat. Jisung’s head had fallen back in pleasure as he cursed under his breath. You were so perfect for him. He wanted to take care of you and absolutely destroy you at the same time.

“My god, you’re so perfect for me Jagi.” he groaned as his face fell downwards so he could stare at you. You were looking back at him already, your face contorted into a look of pure bliss as he fucked you senseless. He felt his high approaching but he forced it back, wanting to make you finish at least once more before he did.

Luckily for him, you were close, and when his hands came down to wrap around your thigh, his nails digging into your skin as he pulled you even closer, allowing him to go deeper, you shattered.

“Fuck Ji, baby. I’m cumming. I’m cumming. I’m cumming.” you cried loudly as you exploded around him, your walls squeezing him deliciously. Jisungs hips halted as he pressed into you as far as he could go, wiggling slightly to help overstimulate you. He paused there, watching your face melt into a puddle of pure satisfaction. 

“You’re so good for me Princess.” he reached down to cup your chin, forcing you to look at him as you shook in sensitivity. “Keep your eyes on me, okay? I’m not done yet.”

Before you could process his words, Jisung manoeuvred himself once again until he was snug between both of your legs, looming over you in missionary. His dick automatically slid back into your slick cunt and he wasted no time chasing the high he had been holding back.

He thrust into you hard, his dick sliding delightfully against your walls, his eyes never leaving yours and yours never leaving his. You had barely come down from your previous orgasm, the oversensitivity building another one up so quickly it was overwhelming. But you didn’t dare ask him to stop. Not when he was making you feel so heavenly.

“Fuck Jisung. Fuck, fuck fuck. Your dick feels so good inside of me.” you whimpered as he continued to relentlessly slip in and out of you, the overstimulation perfect. “I’m gonna’ cum again.”

Jisung let out a hearty laugh as his face fell into your neck, his lips and teeth gliding against your skin as he squeezed your hips and tried to hold you still.

“You gonna’ give me another one?” he teased, to which all you could do was nod in response. His question quickly sent you over the edge again unexpectedly, your body floating in bliss as the white hot pleasure threatened to blind you.

 “Holy shit, Bubby. Your pussy feels amazing sucking me in like this. You’re so fucking tight. Shit.” Jisung’s movements faltered as his orgasm approached quickly. “Shit, Princess, I’m gonna’ cum. Let me out.”

Instead of allowing him enough room to exit and cum all over your tummy, you wrapped your legs around his slutty waist and squeezed him closer to you. Jisungs eyes widened in panic, his hips stuttering again.

“What’re you doing?” he squeaked as he tried to hold back his orgasm long enough to escape. The pout on your face would have driven him over the edge if your next words hadn’t.

“I want you to cum inside of me Ji.” you whimpered, staring into his eyes.

“Wha-?” Jisung stuttered over his words. He was feeling so frenzied he barely managed to slow his hips down long enough to make sure he heard you right. “Are you - fuck - are you sure?"

You nodded quickly, feeling tears form in your eyes again because of how desperately you wanted to feel him. “I wann’ feel you fill me up. Please Jisung. Make me yours.”

The affirmation was all he needed. Jisung nodded and pressed a kiss to your lips as he bucked his hips, picking up his pace once more. The small break in his movements, the unintentional edging, left him absolutely pussy drunk. He began slamming into you with so much force your body was moving up the bed with every thrust.

“Oh Jagi,” he moaned. “I’m gonna fill you up so good. Gonna give it to you so nice. Fuck. Tell me how much you love me Bubby. Tell me you’re all mine.” he begged desperately.

The oversensitivity from your orgasm had you feeling unhinged, barely able to keep your eyes open, let alone form another sentence to respond.

“‘Mmmm love you s’much Ji. More than anything else in’he world. I’m all yours.”

“Fuck Jagiya. I’m fucking cumming.”

A second later, he exploded. His load shot into you at neck-breaking speed, painting your walls and filling you to the brim. He had waited so long to fuck you, there was so much of it. It spilled out of you so easily, and yet, Jisung couldn’t get enough of those pretty sounds leaving your mouth.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he forced his hips to continue a slow thrust forwards, extending his orgasm impossibly more, the overstimulation driving him crazy. 

You let out a whimper as you felt his dick slowly softening inside of you. Regardless, it still felt amazing pushing inside of your pussy, and you knew if he kept thrusting into you like that, you’d cum again from the feeling of it alone.

“You got one more in you, yeah?” Jisung asked lovingly as he pushed the hair off of your sweaty forehead. Your eyes barely opened, a soft cry leaving your mouth as you nodded, desperate for that high you suddenly felt absolutely addicted to.

“Of course you do, that’s why you’re so good for me.” he praised as he continued to fuck you while his dick softened. It was rubbing so delicious into your swollen clit, a mixture of your juices and his spilling from you and onto the bed sheets.

“Gotta’ make sure my Princess is satisfied.” Jisung lips found yours and he brought you in for a long, slow, burning-hot kiss. One that was no longer rushed, no longer delirious and desperate. One that, much like the night before, held mountains of love and adoration and happiness. One that showed you just how much you meant to him, how much he needed you, how hard he fell for you.

It was passionate, feeling his tongue glide over yours as his dick lazily pushed in and out of you, your orgasm building as quickly as the others had. His hands slowly trailed up underneath your shirt and he softly caressed your breasts, his fingers moving to play with your nipples as his swollen lips left yours and latched onto your neck. He licked the sensitive spot right below your jawline before biting it gently and before you knew it, another orgasm hit, an exhausted cry leaving your mouth.

“That’s my fucking girl.” Jisung praised, his hips stuttering to a halt as you came around his cock one last time. 

He watched you with pure adoration, loving the way your face twisted up in pleasure as you came around his semi-hard dick. You looked absolutely gorgeous, hair sprawled out across the pillow, body slick with sweat, your eyes barely open as your jaw fell slack. 

You were so beautiful he felt himself growing hard again already. He would've loved to keep going, fucking you like this for hours until you were both spent and exhausted, but the pained look that spread across your face when he experimentally bucked his hips forwards once more told him you were done for.

Jisung carefully pulled out of you as you tried to catch your breath. He smiled down at you before he rolled onto his back and pulled your naked body on top of him. You barely had enough energy to look at him, so you settled for resting your head across his chest. 

Jisung wrapped one of his strong hands around your waist while the other played with your hair softly, his fingers brushing through the knotted and sweaty strands.

The two of you laid like that for a while, both silently catching your breaths. You listened to his heartbeat pumping softly in your ear and it was so comforting you were sure you would've fallen asleep if Jisung hadn't spoken up into the silence that engulfed the room.

"So I've been thinking."

"Uh oh. That's dangerous." You teased. You twisted your head to smirk up at him as he grinned down at you and pinched your sides in retaliation. An adorable squeal escaped your mouth then as his fingers proceeded to gently tickle you, and Jisung swore your laugh was the most beautiful sound ever to exist on earth. He'd listen to it for eternity if he could. 

"You're a jerk." He mused, planting a soft kiss to your forehead. You beamed up at him and pinched his cheeks.

"You love me." 

Jisung didn't bother denying it. He simply just beamed back at you before leaning forwards to plant another kiss to your face, this one on your nose. 

"More than you'll ever understand." 

He paused to take a deep breath, brushing your messy hair away from your face before he continued on with what he wanted to say. 

"Anyways, as I was saying. How would you feel about moving into the house with the rest of us?" 

Still staring up at him, you arched an eyebrow and gave him another sly smile despite the way your heart rate rose quickly at his question.

"Han Jisung," you tsked. "That's a big step. We aren't even dating yet." 

You expected a pout to appear on Jisungs face at your joke, but you were surprised to find him smirking back at you instead, his tongue prodding the inside of his cheek in amusement. 

"Really? 'Cause I thought it was pretty obvious that we were after I had you practically screaming my name just a minute ago." Your jaw dropped in surprise at his upfront teasing. Jisungs smirk deepened as he caught your reaction before he mimicked you in a high-pitched voice, moaning with each word as it left his mouth dramatically. 

"Oh Jisung! Oi Papi! You're so good! I love you so much! More than anything else in the world! I'm all yours! Take me, take me!”

You smacked his arm and tried to hide your giggle around a hard glare, but failed miserably. “Alright, alright. It wasn’t that dramatic.” 

Jisung let out a laugh of his own at his theatrics and snuggled you closer to him.

“Seriously though, Bubs. Move into the house with us. You practically live there already. We can turn the guest bedroom into an office for you and you can stay with me in mine. We’ve been dying to have you move in for years now.” he explained as he rubbed a hand slowly up and down your back. 

Electricity shot through the ends of his fingertips as he trailed his fingers along the curve of your spine. You melted into his touch as you stared up at him, your fingers coming up to prod at his adorable mole again. 

Moving in with Jisung and the rest of the family seemed like nothing but a green flag. You did already spend all of your time at the house rather than your own apartment, and you knew each and every member of your friend group would be absolutely over the moon if you moved in. But, you were an introvert at heart, and although you loved your friends dearly, you knew you’d miss your cherished alone time and private space.

“I don’t know Ji.” you whispered as you stared at his beauty mark, unable to meet his gentle gaze. Jisung’s grin softened as he searched your eyes for any sign of you being uncomfortable with his request. He was relieved to find none but he did notice a hint of uncertainty in them, which he knew came from your introverted nature.

“I know you always said you enjoyed having your own space, but I’d feel a hell of a lot better if you moved in with us. I wouldn’t have to worry so much about Seojun showing up out of nowhere and catching you when you’re home alone.” he whispered.

You didn’t want to see the look of disappointment you knew would come to his face when you turned down his idea, so you settled with biting your lip as if you were still undecided.

“I don’t know. I need space for all of my stuff, and you and I both know that the guest bedroom is desperately needed for the amount of parties you idiots throw during your off time. I’ve seen more naked bodies in that bed than I care to admit.”

Jisung let out a small huff and curled his mouth to the side as he fell into another thought, taking your response seriously. You waited patiently as you watched the gears in his brain work in double time while he tried to come up with a better solution.

“Well, what if we move out and get a place together? I can keep you safe.”

Your heart jumped at the proposal, warmth spreading throughout your limbs as soon as the words left Jisungs mouth. You were taken back by how quickly he managed to come up with the idea, almost like he had been debating it for a while. 

The second the words reached your ears, there wasn’t anything you wanted more, but you still found yourself shaking your head and giving him a pointed look.

“You wouldn’t hurt a fly, Ji.” you stated, as if that was reason enough not to. Jisungs eyebrows furrowed and he gave you an artificial look of disgust.

“Excuse you, but if Seojun ever dared to show up around here again, you can bet your sweet ass I’d put him in the hospital.”

You let out a thankful smile before you sighed.

“You don’t have to feel obligated to move in with me to keep me safe.” you spoke, your voice soft and quiet. Jisung scoffed at your words and shook his head as if what you said was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard.

“Princess, I’m not doing it as an obligation.” he paused to catch your chin in between his fingers as you began to turn your head away, forcing you to look him in the eye. “I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it for me, okay? For us. Because now that I have you, the thought of not waking up next to you or coming home to you from here on out makes my stomach turn with anxiety. I don’t want to go another day or night without you by my side.”

You swore to yourself you weren’t going to cry again for the rest of the day, rest of the week even, but after seeing the honesty and sincerity and absolute devotion in his dark eyes, you felt the tears begin to form. The two of you were silent for a moment as he let his words, his emotions, sink in. 

This was it for him. You were it for him. There was nowhere else he’d rather be.

 You pouted up at him in astonishment.

“You’d… You’d move out of the family house and find a place with me?”

Jisung smiled down at you and wiped at the tears that were threatening to spill out of your widened eyes.

“Baby, I’d marry you tomorrow if I could.”

You swallowed roughly, choking back a sob at his words. It was definitely too soon to be talking about marriage, but the underlying commitment and unspoken promise in his voice rocked you to the core, rendering you speechless.

“I’m also going to sit down and talk with Chan and the managers to see what I have to do in order to bring you along with us whenever we travel for tours and performances and such.” 

You blinked up at him, the surprise from his previous statement only making you more emotional. You weren’t expecting that.

“What?” was all you managed out. Jisung brushed his fingers through your hair and let out a hearty laugh.

“What? I was serious when I said I didn’t want to go another night without sleeping next to you.”

Your eyebrow shot up in question.

“Is that really a good idea?”

Jisung shrugged his shoulders and pulled your naked bodies impossibly closer together, revelling in the feeling of your soft skin on his. He could never get enough of this, enough of you.

“Ash and Jo come along with us. So why can’t you?”

It was your turn to scoff and let out a laugh. 

“Ash has to, she's the head of make-up. And Chan threw an absolute fit when it came to Jo and that barely worked. How do you know they’ll let you?”

“I’ll throw a bigger fit.” Jisung answered, as if it was obvious. A smile broke out onto your face and you shook your head at him as he continued speaking. “I’m an idol, Baby. They have to let me. Plus, if the sex continues being this incredible, I won’t survive without it. And I can guarantee you none of them would want to put up with my cranky, stressed out ass if I’m forced to go months without you. I swear to God, there’s nothing more stress-relieving than being balls deep inside of your perfect little pussy.”

His voice had gone deep and husky, and you could feel his dick growing hard against your leg once again. Butterflies set off inside your stomach at his words, his tone. His one hand tightened its hold around your waist while the other guided your face towards his, his nose tracing yours.

“You’re so dramatic.” you whispered, your lips hardly brushing his. 

Jisungs hand held your head in place as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. You immediately melted into his touch, his scent, his taste as he opened his mouth and ran his tongue along yours lazily.

“Not dramatic. Just hopelessly in love.” he whispered as he pulled away and beamed up at you, his eyes sparkling with that familiar look of lust and love and happiness. You pulled further away from him and prodded his mole again with your finger, deciding it was your favourite thing to do.

“And what happens when this honeymoon phase ends Ji?” you questioned with a quirk of your brow. Jisung turned his head and caught your finger between his teeth, biting it playfully as his hand began tracing the curvature of your ass.

“Oh trust me. It never will. You’re my destiny, Jagiya.”

You practically swooned.

“Damn,” you breathed, fanning yourself dramatically, ignoring the flush that engulfed your cheeks and spread to your ears. “You love me that much?”

Jisung squeezed your ass into the palm of his hand, unintentionally pulling you against his hardening dick.. You could see the heat and desperation growing in his darkening eyes, causing a ball of fire to brew in the pit of your stomach.

“More than you’ll ever understand y/n. My love for you is like an eternal flame. It burns brighter than the sun and hotter than any desert on earth. It is truly and utterly endless.”

At his confession, you moved to abruptly straddle his waist, his words igniting a fire in your core. His dick pushed deliciously against your opening. Jisung let out a whimper as you lightly rubbed your pussy against the head of his cock, teasing him as you sent him a knowing smirk.

“You mean like a volcano?” you inquired. The smile that broke out onto Jisungs face would forever be imprinted into your eyelids as he connected the dots to what you were saying. He shook his head at you in awe, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugged you tightly to his chest as he pulled you down onto him. He filled you to the brim in one motion, ripping a loud cry from your throat.

“You’re damn right Princess. Like a Goddamn volcano.”

AHH I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE AT THE END OMG!!

as mentioned in a previous post, I will not be writing/posting a Jisung POV anytime soon, but I do want to eventually do a bonus chapter, whether that be a pov or a time jump, idk yet. i will make an announcement about it closer to the time i do, so watch out for that.

Thank you all so much for reading and joining me on my journey of reposting this fic. As my first one, it is still so dear to my heart and I'm thankful I had that chance to go back and edit what I wanted to. I'm so much happier with this version than the original on my old blog. I hope you all love it as much as I do!

Taglist || @sungshineworld @collisvng @ihrtlix @queen-in-the-shadows @cassidymb121

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[pascaloverx]

To Begin Again

FOUR

Summary: You're a new teacher at a large and influential school. It's a risky step for you, as you've been running from your ex for almost two years. But when Dumbledore asks you to take on a class at the renowned Hogwarts, you can't refuse. However, your life as a newly arrived teacher won't be easy. Especially when the other teachers don't seem eager to make friends. Or rather, two teachers in particular: Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

Author's Note: Welcome, dear readers. Please leave your comments if you enjoy fanfiction. This fanfic takes place almost in the real world (with the addition of werewolves) and is not a wizarding fanfic. There will be some differences and changes in things from the Harry Potter story or other fanfics in the HP universe, but I promise to do my best writing this fanfic. There will be a love triangle coming in this fanfic.

THREE FIVE

You had a date with two men, two men who stood you up, didn't even bother to send a smoke signal to cancel everything. The worst part is that you got all dressed up, put on a nice dress and everything. How infuriating. And just as you're about to lie down on the bed and turn on the TV to try to forget the pathetic situation you find yourself in, someone knocks on your door.

"So, the idiot here and I are going to the bar on the other side of the forest to have some beers. As uninteresting as you may seem, it's worth giving you a chance to at least do something fun. What do you think?" Bellatrix asks as she leans abruptly against the corridor wall. Peter is standing beside her, looking uncomfortable at being called an idiot but much more focused on looking at you as if he wants to uncover your secrets.

"I think that's a rather rude way to ask someone if they want to go have a beer with you, but at the moment, my options are either to go with you or put on my pajamas, and I think it's worth giving you guys a chance." You say, grabbing your bag and then locking the door to your room. When you turn around, Peter looks at you as if you were some kind of different creature. A look that seems to mix curiosity with a sort of dread.

"Deep down, I know you want to go out with us because you don't want to be in the middle of what's going on between Remus and Sirius. Believe me, I know how you feel. Hogwarts doesn't offer many options for relationships, so sometimes I tried to have something casual with Remus or even with my boring cousin, but Sirius is simply… nothing is more important to those two than their relationship. So my advice is to stay away from them. Or at least don't have feelings for them. But if you do, be prepared." Bellatrix speaks as if she just wants to gossip about something or influence you even a little bit. You, who are walking beside her while Peter walks ahead of the two, don't know what to think. After all, you're a stranger. You can't demand anything from anyone.

"Danger, danger is all you'll get with Lupin. If you survive, you'll come out marked forever." Peter turns to you and says this. His body language seems to indicate that he's nervous, as if he's warning you of an impending attack. Bellatrix looks at him with a disapproving and almost furious look. You don't understand anything, but something inside you tells you to be more cautious.

"What Peter means is that getting involved with Remus can be dangerous, but not in a real sense. More like a romantic danger. You know how love triangles are, and if you manage to win one of them over, you'll have to deal with the other. But our friend Peter here is a bit too dramatic. He's a literature professor and has lost track of what's fiction and what's reality. Stay at Hogwarts for longer, and maybe you'll end up like that too." Bellatrix speaks as if she's trying to convince you of something, and you admit that she could easily persuade you to believe her, but something in you said that Peter wasn't exaggerating.

"My intention is not to meddle in the relationship between Black and Lupin. In fact, I don't even know how that relationship works. I just happened to meet them by chance and get closer." You speak as you walk through the forest. You look up, unable to see the moon and wondering if tonight you would see the hairy creature again. For a moment, you even think it could be a plan of Bellatrix and Peter to bring you into the middle of the forest and get rid of you, but then you start to think that you're being a bit paranoid. After all, why would they want to get rid of you?

"And finally, we've arrived at the quaintest local bar you'll find around here. I'll warn you upfront that not all patrons are good folks, but the beer is good and it's our only option." Bellatrix informs you as the three of you enter the establishment. The design of the place is cozy and simple, like Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother's house. There's a fireplace right at the entrance, near an old and somewhat tattered-looking sofa. Some people are sitting on the sofa, drinking, while others are standing. Most are just having drinks and chatting. Others are smoking while playing pool in a part of the bar that seems to have a door. You imagine it must be the exit.

"I'll have a beer. Actually, make that two beers." You tell the bartender. He's an incredibly tall man with a long beard and hair. Despite not being sure if he heard your order, he nods. Bellatrix is placing her order while Peter seems to have gone to the restroom. He's so quiet, he could be mistaken for a mouse sneaking around.

"Would you like to dance?" Bellatrix asks as she grabs her drink. The bartender apparently didn't hear you, as he passed you a glass of whiskey and then went to serve another customer. You wonder how she plans to dance without music until you see a jukebox near where the smokers are. Bellatrix promptly goes over there and selects a song. "Kill of the Night" is the song she chooses, and she starts dancing with a certain rhythm towards you. You take your whiskey shot and then take Bellatrix's hand as you try to keep up with her pace. It's a dance that mainly involves the feet and hips. You're not the most coordinated person in the world, but you manage to keep up with her, even though she's holding a bottle of beer while dancing.

"Thank you for inviting me to come here. It was kind of you." You say as you're close to her. Then she pulls you closer and gives you a small kiss on the corner of your mouth, catching you by surprise. You quickly push her away, not quite understanding. Not that she isn't attractive, but you just met her. Well, not that you're a prude.

"If you're interested in spending more time with more fun people, now you know where to find me." Bellatrix winks in your direction and heads towards where Peter went. You're not quite sure what to do, but suddenly you feel short of breath. You then head towards the exit of the bar. Bad idea. The more you walk in the same direction you came from, the more you feel lost. Going back would be an option, but you're a bit embarrassed. So you walk even further until you see someone approaching you at some speed. You clench your fists in a defensive position, preparing yourself. When you feel the person's body collide with yours, and you both roll into the forest. You get lost in the moment, feeling some rocks and branches touching your skin as you and the person roll on the ground.

"What the hell are you doing? Trying to kill us both?" You say as soon as you stop rolling after hitting a tree. Your body already shows signs of feeling the impact, but your anger speaks louder. Especially when you realize who it is. Sirius, who is currently positioned right on top of you, says nothing. He just lightly presses his fingers over your mouth and shushes you. His hand smells nice, like vanilla. But you're itching to kick him where it would hurt most and get him off of you. Then you hear a loud, pained howl, as if from a wounded animal. You also notice that Sirius's arm is injured. And it's like a puzzle assembling itself right in front of you.

"Where's Lupin?" You ask, concerned. Sirius looks at you with a serious expression as if he's annoyed that you didn't shut up.

"I'd like to explain, but it'll be better if we stay quiet." Sirius says, almost against your mouth due to how close he is. You stare at him, feeling his blood touch your skin. He's losing a lot of blood. You need to help him.

"I'll distract whatever's coming. You try to find someone to help you. Don't try to be a hero. You'll die if you keep bleeding like this. Just run in a different direction from mine and try to stay alive." You say, gently pushing Sirius's body off of you and then figuring out how to get the creature's attention. Your only option was to do what the creature does best. So you let out a loud howl, trying to mimic the creature's noise. Soon, the sounds of the creature approaching can be heard. Sirius must have noticed that you were truly determined to attract the creature's attention, because he disappeared once you howled. You then started running as if your life depended on it. But before you left, you grabbed a branch. Your feet pound the ground at an unprecedented speed as you flee from the creature. But it's not enough, as somehow the shaggy creature appears in front of you. You have no doubt it's a werewolf. And the creature looks at you as if it knows who you are. It moves as if it's about to come towards you, and you grip the branch as if to attack the creature. And then it occurs to you that perhaps you can speak to the werewolf, especially if it's who you suspect it is.

"Remus, don't make me attack you. I… don't know you as well as I'd like, but I don't want to hurt you. I know. Deep down, you know it too. You don't want to hurt me, just like you didn't want to hurt Sirius. Just try to stay calm. I know it might seem silly, but focus on what's around you. Your home is nearby. Where your students study. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, Luna, and many others. They need you." You speak, trying to appeal to the human inside the creature. And for a few seconds, you think you succeeded, until you hear footsteps that distract both you and the creature. And just when it seems like the werewolf is going to attack you, you see four small bodies throwing stones at it. You can bet that Potter, Granger, Weasley, and Malfoy are the students daring enough to venture out of Hogwarts at this hour. Even though Draco might have only come with them because Harry did. You don't have time to think. When you realize that your students might be in danger, you throw your entire body against the werewolf's. You close your eyes tightly to avoid seeing the damage, but you manage to bring the creature down, causing both of you to fall near a stream. Or something like it; you can only hear the sound of water as you begin to lose consciousness.

When dawn breaks, you're unsure if you're alive or how you survived. All you know is that your body is racked with pain. Looking around, you realize that yesterday's events weren't just a dream. Your eyes settle on another person nearby. Despite feeling a bit dizzy, you muster the determination to get up and confirm what you already suspected. The naked man lying unconscious by the stream is Lupin. He's covered in bruises and has a cut near his mouth. So, Remus Lupin is a werewolf, and last night he nearly caused quite a problem. And to top it all off, you'll need to figure out how to carry him somewhere.

To be continued...

[strawberrystepmom]

hi kendy!

I have a few questions for your astro event.

the event could be for selfships or other ships, right? the charts could be sent like this?

if this is okay then I'd like to see what their romantic compatibility looks like. I know in canon Ichigo doesn't believe in horoscopes or astrology, but I can see him reading something that resonates with him and he can't help but think about inés.

also if it's not too much, I'd also like to see the sexuality readings for another OC of mine.

if it ends up being too much, you can def pick which one to do, I'll be happy with either one! I hope you have a pleasant rest of your day~ 🤗🤗

omg i loooooove working on people's oc's so absolutely <333 also ichigo is a big ol stiff. i'll bet after all the shit he's seen in canon by the time postcanon comes around he's a smidge more willing to at least look at his horoscope in the paper and scoff in amusement aldjfasjdfasfd

compatibility reading:

SO one of my go-to catchphrases in astrology is that nobody understands a water sign better than another water sign. The water signs feel deeply, they experience life in a way that requires touching although it’s emotional touching. They wanna feel everything, bad or good, because feeling means you’re alive. Cancer and scorpio are a great match on the sun level - they may both have similar core beliefs about the world and how to live in it. Morals are very important to Cancer placements especially so finding a partner that can stand with them and do the right thing is paramount. Scorpio will do that, loyal until the end.

I also appreciate Inés and Ichigo having the same moon sign here! Moon is your (using the royal you here) internal world, your deepest darkest thoughts you may tuck away fearing being misunderstood. Having the same placement here can indicate a really deep connection and great mutual understanding about how the other feels and processes their feelings. 

I will say one area of trouble that could form between the two is with their respective Mars placements. Cancer Mars in men can manifest either as someone who communicates super passive aggressively or someone who is very caring and is able to use that to the fullest of its ability. Inés has a Libra Mars which can sometimes make them come off as indecisive or difficult to pin down on a hard opinion, something Cancer dislikes. Consistency, predictability, patterns - that’s what a Cancer likes so when a person has an opinion or stance that is an outlier in how they usually would behave, that’s when the passive aggressive “I don’t even know who you are” kicks in. That being said, Ichigo is extremely mature and I don’t think this would be an insurmountable issue or point to bad compatibility. 

Venus placement compatibility is also good for these two! Air for air, an understanding of the fact that you can want both romance and space to be yourself. Their love will likely evolve many many times during its length - perhaps friends to lovers? Enemies to friends to lovers? Who knows but I do know that air sign love is very changeable, they can become whatever their partner needs them to be wherever they’re at in their lives. 

Overall - good compatibility. May have some communication issues if Inés struggles with being direct but nothing relationship ending. A recommended bonding activity for them would be something mentally stimulating, maybe a board game or video game. Challenging one another is always a good way to keep the other involved!

sexuality reading:

Nice to meet you Kazue! <3 her chart made me smile very large because I love it, it just screams passionate, emotional lover to me.

So let’s start with that Libra sun! Libra, of course, is THE placement of love. It values fairness, beauty, romance, all things luscious and lovely and highly visible in this world are things revered by Libra. They pride themselves on being wonderful companions and very beautiful ones at that. They are a little indecisive and sometimes like to be chased (I have a feeling she really likes to be chased but I’ll get into that shortly) but once you have them, they’re there for life. It’s just that whole getting them thing…

Cancer moon is a really deep, introspective moon placement to have. Very emotional. She likely deals with a little bit of angst around how she’s perceived (read: people’s potential lust toward her) vs. how she wants to be taken as a person (read: seriously, not like a piece of meat that people have projected fantasy onto). Cancer can get frustrated with Libra and its flexible nature. I wouldn’t call Cancer rigid, it’s too emotional for that, but it likes to know what it’s dealing with as I discussed above a little bit. She may really like consistent displays of sexuality - the same routine every time and this can be reinforced by her Virgo Venus. They don’t tend to be super freaky people but they have these hidden, secret desires and there is a lot of repression in Virgo that the right partner can help them overcome. They tend to have kinks that have to do with strong roles (mommy/daddy kink is a common one) but they keep them very hush hush. It takes a very astute partner to pick up on it.

Now back to the she likes to be chased thing. Leo Mars loves to be chased. More than that it loves to be adored, worshipped, revered and to have it proven to them that they’re viewed that way. Source: also a Leo Mars. This can create a situation where Leo is feeding into Libra and saying “y’know…i think they just need to prove it a littttttle more” which can make her feel very conflicted about her feelings. 

Overall she’s very passionate. Dreamy and will give her partner fantasies if they want them but she deserves a partner who will help her fulfill her own too. 

liked what you read here? stop by my event and submit a request!

[theproductivepessimist]

Supreme Court: When Common Sense Isn't.

At 15, not knowing I was trans (trans man, very binary, very masculine, discovered I was actually intersex during hysto, which made sense of...a lot...) I was followed into the girls' toilets at high school, by a group of both girls and boys. I was physically attacked, and had to aggressively fight off an attempted gang grape. I left that space with my orthodontic braces smashed into the inside of my mouth, my gums and lips ripped open, my nose streaming bl00d, my shirt torn, my belt gone... Only to have a female teacher throw me against a wall by the scruff of my neck, and scream "What the hell have you done, you animal?" At 17, still not realising I was trans, I was at a friend's 18th birthday party. I went to the (women's) loo...and got dragged out by two furious older women who called me a pervert. At 18, knowing I wanted to be seen as masculine, but not having the words for being trans, and so believing I was a butch lesbian, but also Very Sure That Was Horribly Wrong, and G0d Would Punish Me (by unaliving my pets...I still, over 20yrs later, have a fixation that if I do something "wrong", one of my pets will d*e to "punish me"...my wife is helping me work on that), I stupidly got involved with a man (I'm predominantly hetero-romantically attracted). We went into a boutique independent shop so he could "help me pick out a wedding dress" (yeah...he was all of those red flags, and then some...but people in my church treated me like a normal person for the first time ever...) He handed me a dress, & asked me to "try it on for him". I (reluctantly - I'd hated dresses since I was 4 or 5) headed to the changing rooms - only to be met with a shriek from the proprietor of "You can't go in there! There's ladies there!" At 18 and a half, I came to my senses, and ditched the man who has ever after been known as Mistake #1. I also changed my name, and my title, legally by Deed Poll (because I discovered you CAN change your title, just because you want to.) At 19, I came across the concept of "trans men", and was like "Holy sh*t...is...is this why my whole life has felt like such utter clown shoes?" At the time, I was undergoing treatment for schizophrenia, which meant any consideration of trans stuff had to be delayed until my mental state was "stable", because "feelings of disaffection with normative gender roles are very common in schizophrenia." At 21, I began medical transition. I completed that process at age 26. I'll be 39 next month. I've been known by my name longer than I was known by my deadname. (Even longer than it seems, because I used an abbreviated, masculine version of my deadname from the age of 9, which then became my legal name 9 years later.) I lost everything - my mother tried to unalive me, I was made homeless, my church had a formal meeting where they announced they were kicking me out, my GP actually refused to treat me, citing his "Christian values." But, over the last 20yrs, I've found so much: . Myself . My spirituality (pagan humanist) . My sense of humour (grimdark, very NSFW) . My wife Still don't really have friends - that's the curse of Christianity when you're raised in it; you believe it's morally wrong to be a normal teenager, so the only friends you have are other people in the church...which means, if they ever kick you out, or you ever realise their g0d isn't your g0d...you've got nothing. Not even the knowledge of how to build social connections. And being an introvert who's medically banned from driving really doesn't help. The "common sense" that led to this judgement told my pre-transition, AFAB self that I "didn't belong in women's spaces." It was right. The Supreme Court isn't.

[sapphire-weapon]

wait I'm confused as to what would be considered canon in media. Ada and Leon never really got together in the original games, nor was there ever any like official line in the story that says "oh yeah those two are in a romantic relationship/ in love" yes, there were moments where it's said Leon is weak to Ada and that one scene in the original game where the two kiss and ada says she's just a woman that fell in love with him - but in both those instances it was never reciprocated by the other person to make it clear the feeling is mutual.

It especially confuses me because Ada apparently claims to love Leon in RE2 (I think?) but never mentions that again in the other mainline games like RE4, if anything it's just her saying he's part of her game in her reports if I remember correctly

i've said this for a long time, but fandom needs to develop more and better terms outside of "it's canon" -- because the term "canon" with regards to a relationship is too vague and can mean anything from "they used to be together prior to the start of the story but aren't anymore by the time the story begins" to "they fuck once in the beginning/middle of the story and then never again" to "the entire story is about their falling in love" to "they have seemingly no real romantic/sexual interest in each other for the entire series but then end up married in an epilogue" with a bunch of varying degrees in between.

here are the canonical facts of the matter between leon and ada in OG:

ada admits to having fallen in love with leon in RE2

leon makes the move to kiss ada as he believes her to be dying in RE2

leon stares at ada's legs in RE4

"she's like a part of me i can't let go" in RE4

ada spends most of separate ways wistfully staring off into the distance and dreamily saying leon's name

ada defies wesker's persistent orders to kill leon during SW and in fact goes out of her way to help him -- constantly

ada admits to using leon in her report in SW

leon and ada met up at some point off screen between RE4 and damnation with the implication that they both were of the understanding that sex would be involved, but there's no clear distinction as to whether or not that actually manifested or how far it went

both ashley and helena vocalize their perception of leon being in love with ada

in RE6, leon physically stops chris from hurting carla, who he believes to be ada, and insists on defending her even after chris tells him that ada killed his men -- because he refuses to believe that ada would do something like that even after watching a video of her hatching from an egg, implying that she's either been a BOW the whole time or recently became one

leon and ada put themselves in harm's way to save each other's lives at different times in RE6

helena gives leon an opening to run away with ada at the end of RE6, and he says no

other facts to consider:

ada is always the one to walk away from leon, never the other way around -- with the sole exception of RE6, where he finally gives a definitive "no" (RE2 doesn't count because he thought she was fucking dead lmao)

the only other seemingly reciprocal attraction leon's ever had with another woman in RE was angela in degeneration, who has never been seen or mentioned again. everything else has been him trying to fuck someone else and getting shot down or someone else trying to fuck him and him turning them down.

there are several files throughout the games that describe leon and ada's relationship as "complicated"

the only time ada is ever seen on screen in the entire series without being an accessory to leon's story is her campaign in umbrella chronicles, during which her feelings for leon are brought up as an explicit point of contention

leon, however, has been seen in multiple titles without ada and exists independently of her character

leon has kept his involvement with/encounters with ada a secret from literally every single person in his life, including the redfields and the US government, which has perpetuated the spread of bioterror, which flies in the face of everything he believes in and stands for

ada helps leon even when he doesn't really need it, just because she wants to

the reason why i (or anyone else) say(s) that aeon is "canon" in OG is because OG focuses on their relationship intensely over the course of three games and a movie, and that relationship is romantically/sexually charged. and when you pair that with the fact that she doesn't really exist without him, it's like... then what the fuck else is she there for?

[imagine-silk]

That was worth the wait absolutely.

Could you please do a continuation to the yan Max & Phineas post? About the romantic aspect more? Male captain please again :) meow

》Okay, I usually do soft yanderes... however my bitch ass friend(affectionate) has been calling me a baby back bitch(derogatory) for not committing. So I'm going to use this one to go nuts.

》I failed to do it again. She's going to rub it in my face .·°՞(≧□≦)՞°·.

【Vicar Max】

Max loves to remind everyone on the ship that age goes before beauty. As the two oldest members on the crew he likes to bring it up every now and then so Hawthorne can see them as immature, lesser than him. He'll even go so far as to talk about them fondly so he can call them all children. And you can't be romantically involved with someone you consider a child, that would be disappointing, not to mention immoral. He talks about them as if they were toddlers instead of people twenty-five and older. Once Hawthorne also starts seeing them as young he starts making his moves. Not all at once but gradual. This required a delicate touch if he was going to go about this without having anyone call him out.

One of the first drastic moves he does after coaxing Hawthorne is asking if he'd like to have sex with him. They are both men after all, they have needs, and it's better to do it with someone you know rather than a stranger in the Halcyon, not to mention safer. "Come on, Hawthorne. Drifting in space has hardly done us favors." He banks on the fact they're both stressed to convince him. And he goes the extra mile to make sure they both feel it the next day. Every time Hawthorne stretches or groans he revels in the fact it was him. He uses it to get closer to him and push the others away, now they share something the others can't have.

He's never going to lock him down because he doesn't need to. He belittles the others and sticks closer to the man he loves, even if he does understands it's excessive. But what are morals at this point? Hawthorne is loving the attention and the relationship they have so what's the harm in isolating them slowly? Max is going to give him pleasure so he doesn't know the pain that can come with it.

【Phineas Welles】

Trapping Hawthorne in his lab behind glass is incredibly romantic to him because he doesn't like people so literally forcing him to stay is the ultimate show of love. And he stays behind that glass. Phineas wants to talk all day and work things out with Hawthorne but he just wants the presence. He does not want to touch him and sees no reason to. Why would he want to have sex? It's just an exchange of fluids. He has no desire to and their both men anyway so it's not like it will produce a child. But if Hawthorne keeps insisting, whether genuinely or wanting an opportunity to run, he'll drug him first. For safety. And it's perfectly safe, he tested it multiple times. While he satisfies your need to be held he'll give you a physical exam so he can kill two birds with one stone.

Hawthorne is never going to see the light of day again, or even the vacuum of space. Phineas tells him there's no reason to go outside anymore considering Halcyon is safe and the board is gone so they have all the time in the world to enjoy each other's company. If a single person goes looking for him they'll be surprised to find turrets already trained to shoot anything within the premises. When he said he wasn't going to be disturbed he meant it. Phineas is by no means going to rub it in his face but he will tell him if he's asked.

Even if he doesn't touch Hawthorne he believes their love transcends physical means. They love each other on a philosophical level and no one and nothing can tell him otherwise. Because if that wasn't true then Hawthorne would have never insisted on seeing him so often. They belong here. They deserve it after everything. Neither of them are leaving that lab alive.

[musical-chick-13]

I know we’ve talked about it a little but I wanna be reminded/hear you talk more about it. Rebecca/Nate 😅

So, I'm gonna be honest, I am...not a fan of this one. I don't even think I'd say I dislike Nathaniel, exactly, but I definitely thought the other characters were more interesting than him.

Mainly, I think this particular romantic arc dragged out too long. I understand that this show exists to-among many other things-deconstruct a whole host of common rom-com tropes, and "douchey misogynistic guy becomes marginally better because of one (1) quirky woman" is indeed a common rom-com trope, but I don't think the show spent enough time on brutally deconstructing it. Like...with Josh, we spent two and a half seasons breaking that down and showing why all of the stories that follow similar beats to their relationship don't hold up. And although we got the Nathaniel's rom-com dream episode (which is one of my favorites), and Rebecca's obsession titles shifting to Nathaniel, and "Nothing Is Ever Anyone's Fault," and the episode where he reads her diary and she goes "wtf dude, get out," compared to the amount of time they spent specifically deconstructing her dynamic with Josh and all the things that entails...this just didn't seem like enough.

If we take Greg, he went away to work on himself, and it's clear that he's a much different person when he comes back. And, yes, Nathaniel did get a few moments of "Omg, I'm so nice now" with other characters going, "But are you really" but there was so much about him that I just feel never got fully addressed. What he did to Josh's family. Cheating on Mona for months. His casual misogyny. (I also can't ever remember him like actually apologizing?) We spent a lot of time talking about why Josh and Greg weren't good endgame matches for Rebecca, and although what we were given in canon was enough to convince me that Nathaniel wasn't either, the fact that we weren't given as much time as with the other two makes it seem like the narrative is favoring him in some way. (Most of the fandom certainly thinks he was the Best Choice, even if the point was supposed to be that none of them were.)

I just...to ME, their banter was less "banter" and more "every straight white man I ever worked for insulting a woman he hates being attracted to." His support of her seemed less "support" and more "I am making this woman who did not ask into my own personal manic pixie dream girl for the sake of resolving myself of the part I played in my own issues." His "getting better for love" was canonically until almost the absolute very end. SOLELY. rooted in getting Rebecca to want to date him again.

And if, say, Josh's girlfriend we see him with at the end of the show turned out to have bpd, I believe that Josh would do the work and ask his therapist about it to understand what that mental illness is. And that if he badly handled her having an episode, he would apologize. And I believe that if Jason came back and dated Rebecca, he would do the same regarding her bpd. I just don't think Nathaniel would ever do any of that. I can't see Rebecca telling him that she's in the middle of a spiral and him taking the time to listen to and talk her through her symptoms or make her soup. (Honestly, I can't even see him, like...not getting annoyed with her for singing off-key while practicing.) And that's a really important requirement to sell me on a ship involving a mentally ill character-especially one with a particularly stigmatized illness.

Rebecca/Nathaniel is just...a little too real in the ways in which it's uncomfortable or pRoBLeMaTiC. I've met men exactly like this. I've been a woman like Rebecca (though obviously minus the more extreme behavior like arson and everything she did regarding Josh). And that makes it really hard for me to have any kind of narrative investment in this relationship. I see this exact dynamic play out in every other movie and tv show, and I gotta be honest, it is boring, if not downright insufferable every time it happens. And I'm all for people in fiction making each other worse, but we need at least one mentally ill main character who gets better. And given that "mentally ill lady gets better" was ultimately the central concept of the show, pairing her with Nathaniel in any long-term way seems directly antithetical to the story this piece of media was trying to tell.

Send me a ship and I'll give you my brutally honest opinion on it.

[cyberbaptism]

You see i agree with this but the wording of it comes off as very chiding and shame inducing and overall negative and it makes people double down. The word "fetishization" is sooo charged with negative connotations that it obscures the fact that fetish is not really a good or bad thing, it just is. What makes it good or bad is everything else surrounding it, which is what what this person is actually getting at I believe. Whenever I see posts like this my first instinct is to feel ashamed of myself, because, big surprise, a lot of things that get me off are in some way shape or form rooted in dichotomous power dynamics which are themselves rooted in some form of patriarchy. It always comes down to The Powerful and The Powerless. Sometimes they switch roles which is erotic in and of itself or, when I'm in a particular mood that I can only describe as "romantic", the gap closes almost completely. Almost. I still need Two Opposing Things Coming Together narrative to arouse me. It is HOW they come together—is it coerced? Unexamined? Are all parties involved aware that these dynamics should not be practiced in the real world even though the inspiration for them comes from real life circumstances?—that people take issue with which is a completely valid critique.

Still, I feel a lot of shame. I suppose this is the age story of a feminist panicking because her kinks are misogynistic in some way. I don't know what to do with these feelings, both the shame and the attraction to things that I ideologically do not agree with. It's even harder navigating this in real life contexts because finding a man who will not jump at the opportunity to act like a piece of shit in bed just because i expressed a need that could be classified as me wanting to be "submissive" is almost impossible. Unless he loves me, of course, but honestly I find it hard to imagine that a straight man could ever possibly grasp the complexity of what I'm talking about. Even if he does love me, the mere thought of him finding the idea that I might be a "strong independent woman in the streets that only submits to him in bed" attractive fills me with unimaginable disappointment. Because that's just so typical, isn't it? Of course you'd get off on power, of course, that's all you've ever known really. Power is good, having it feels amazing, and I'm the freaky one for asking you to use it, because there's something wrong with me for wanting to feel powerless. You don't question it because you assume that's the natural order of things, that I've always been less than you in every aspect and my sexual desires are just a reflection of that. You get off on it because you think what makes it hot is the exaggeration of the natural, but I find it hot for a lot more complex reasons, namely, the ability to completely and utterly shed myself of my own power (which I do in fact have) and trust you not to do anything to me that I didn't explicitly ask you to do and then, when it's over, trust that you'll go back to earnestly and honestly seeing me as the equal that i am. It's about trust and love for me.

I used to try and convince myself that I am a full dom, some dominatrix type shit, in order to circumvent this shame i feel. And while I do find it hot (see the role reversal point above) i don't find it hot all of the time and not nearly as much as the same old dynamics that were imposed onto me. A very critical person might try and suggest that even this is wrong, that I should fight the imposition as much as I can and "fake it til you make it" my way out of simply enjoying all manner of power play. True, I'm partial to one particular kind that just so happens to mirror real world social dynamics, but can you really fault me for that? I can't change it. I really cannot.

(as I type this i kinda see something someone might point out as a double standard: that I ask for people not to fault me for defaulting to the imposition even though I was shaming men defaulting to their own imposition in the paragraph above. But I don't think it really is a double standard.)

What really bums me out is the fact that I might never find a man who's self aware enough, emotionally intelligent enough and in love with me enough to actually consider everything I'm talking about. Ultimately, trusting a man that much is pure fantasy to me, which is why I'll always be attracted to fictional ones more than the real ones. I just can't trust them.

[smiletimeisrunningout]

"Didn't I tell you-it's the scar I've here," she pointed at the spot on her chest, genuinely surprised, "I'm sorry, it's not even something I hide, I guess it didn't come up... Step-grandma wanted my heart on a silver platter," considering she had initially stayed there because of the extremely violent crimes committed by people from her faction, it would be no surprise there, "He was very close to getting it. It's why sometimes-often, I need to be, you know, on top. When we are alone. Every now and then he comes back to mind." That would have been a helpful information for him before they had stopped seeing each other at night, probably. "I'm thinking that if I had told you the stories behind my scars you would have probably understood me better..." she squeezed his hand, "But maybe it will kill the rest of you more."

"Your admittance of 'even if you are' is as much of a declaration as I'll ever need. I don't require loud and splashy displays of affection...your smiles and gestures and thoughtfulness let me know precisely how you feel."

"Really?" she met his eyes with a small spark of relief and perhaps even hope, because she hadn't considered that-no, no, there was still the matter of her being not enough, not just her lack of ability to word her emotions. But still, it was something, even if a simple 'I love you' was not unreasonable for him to demand.

"Does this give me bragging rights over all the other men?"

She giggled at that, feeling a little lighter: "Yes, I suppose it does." He seemed so happy about it, so easily won over by the smallest affirmations she was making.

"And isn't that the beauty of life? That there are no guarantees, and that everything is an adventure? One that's meant to be experienced with the ones you love?"

She wanted the guarantees, as silly as that was. She may long for adventures that involved swords, or guns now, but not for the ones that involved a ring. But she also wanted, desperately, to trust Ben.

"What if I've considered everything before? Coming home with you, and just...w-well, not abandoning the Cause, per se, but allowing myself a modicum of peace -- giving myself the chance to simply be."

Her mouth fell open because that had never crossed her mind, that he'd want that, that he'd consider that an option. For her. "You can't-we can't-would you? Wh... Wait, give me a moment." It was best for both of them if she could at least calm down enough to finish a sentence, and she would have thought impossible for herself to blush after such a blood loss, yet apparently bodies worked differently than how she expected. "You have... thought of that? Of... of coming home with me, of... being... together with me?" When? To what extent?

"Haven't you felt safe? Secure? Happy? Why must all of that change just because our feelings have? Are we not the same two people?"

"Well, I never... never felt responsible to give you... what a wi-woman is supposed to give you... romantically and now I do, and I'm very aware of my lackings." It wasn't just that, of course, it was also that he'd be stepping in Arian's former role, and it was terrifying.

"Because yes, Emma, I'd love nothing more than to say I can accept that, but I feel as though you're trying your very best to dissuade me...and I'm unsure if that's because of your residual fear, or if you genuinely believe I won't be able to handle you. Well... I suppose we all could use a lesson on how to handle you."

Emma let out a chuckle despite everything, "Not all, you are the only one I'd care to help learn such horror." He had been satisfied with how she could single him out earlier, so perhaps that was the way to keep telling him had indeed a special place in her heart. "I guess the first part of the lesson would be not to let me dissuase you." But she could see that he was in a strange position of having to hear her objections and ignore them entirely, which may not feel like the kind thing to do.

She pulled his hand closer so she could hold it with both of hers, thinking. "When I met him, when I met Arian... I acted like a boy. I thought boys were better, had more fun than girls, because they got to wear the best clothes, and girls were boring. I didn't want to wear pretty dresses or worry about my hair, I wanted to fight. I started fights with the boys in town and, since I was actually trained in both swords and hand to hand combat, I won. And Arian thought that was amazing. He told me I was strong and beautiful, that I'd be a warrior like my mother, and he started courting me with sweet words and gifts. He trusted me with personal matters, made me feel needed and even stronger and... I started seeing him after curfew. Innocently, I was just a girl, but so that we could spend hours talking. And we did. And..." she paused, feeling her heart race in her chest, "You cannot tell anyone what I'm about to say."

"Take your heart?" Benjamin echoed, stunned. "Emma..." Expression softening, he appraised her with a different sort of invasiveness -- one he knew she wouldn't appreciate, given her stubbornness, but he took her hand all the same. "Don't you realize how much you've already endured? You are resilient, you are a fighter -- infuriatingly so." Here, he offered a lopsided smile. "It would kill the rest of us far less if you weren't so determined to dive headlong into danger."

"You are the kindest," Emma grumbled, a soft furrow forming between her brows. "You said... you said that me being unsure means you have your answer. I'll never stop being unsure, so... that means you'll feel unloved even if you are. Especially with someone like me who can't... say romantic words."

Benjamin hesitated, his heart both rising and falling akin to a skipping stone. "That might be true," he cautiously allowed, "but I think it helps that I know where you stand. When we first talked, I had no idea that you...I-I didn't realize the wounds ran so deep." He squeezed her fingers. "Your admittance of 'even if you are' is as much of a declaration as I'll ever need. I don't require loud and splashy displays of affection...your smiles and gestures and thoughtfulness let me know precisely how you feel."

You and no one else.

The words danced between his ribs and lit up his entire face, a shy, boyish grin lifting the corners of his mouth. "Does this give me bragging rights over all the other men?" he teased. "Such words will assuredly break some hearts."

The sentiment seemed to prick into Emma like a thorn. "What if I break your heart?" she deflected.

Benjamin's smile faded and he scooted in closer. "I'm an adult," he assured her. "Well...maybe not always in my approach, but I think I can handle it."

Emma shook her head. "What if I'm not enough and you break my heart again? Not... not that you did it before, but it was broken by someone else, and I can't take another--If only I could be sure that I can give you enough, Ben..."

He winced, his eyes burning with a hint of pity and helplessness. "You know we can't guarantee anything," Benjamin whispered. "And isn't that the beauty of life? That there are no guarantees, and that everything is an adventure? One that's meant to be experienced with the ones you love?"

Emma chuckled, the sound tinged with disbelief. "You couldn't be closer than I wish, Ben, you could never be close enough. I would want nothing more than to keep you by my side, take you home with me, and never let you go... But that matters little if... if I can't give you... more."

Benjamin swallowed, the pleading look in his face reflecting her own. "But what if I want all of that?" he pressed. "What if I've considered everything before? Coming home with you, and just...w-well, not abandoning the Cause, per se, but allowing myself a modicum of peace -- giving myself the chance to simply be."

The desperation in Emma's eyes grew. "A man should feel like... the woman he's with feels safe. I can't give you that. I can give you my heart, but I can't stop being scared of you throwing it away. Can you accept that? Knowing it's because another man has done it before?"

"But what about these past few months?" Benjamin pressed. Throat raw, he asked, "Haven't you felt safe? Secure? Happy? Why must all of that change just because our feelings have? Are we not the same two people? Could it not be argued that affection makes a bond stronger, and not worse?" He exhaled. "Because yes, Emma, I'd love nothing more than to say I can accept that, but I feel as though you're trying your very best to dissuade me...and I'm unsure if that's because of your residual fear, or if you genuinely believe I won't be able to handle you. Well..." Here, he offered a lopsided smile. "I suppose we all could use a lesson on how to handle you."

[braineater444]

Tell the storyline that you've planned, please

I need a closure

Well since you said please... I must oblige in some way. I'm too lazy to write out the entirety of the plot rn soooo...

I'll tell you abt stuff involving Sanzu and a scene that was supposed to be a major point in the story.

T/W: Physical Absue and Emotional Abuse, Drugs

So, it's very important to know that within the context of MBFC, Sanzu has crush on Mikey??? But with the thematic extremes of the story it's less of a crush and more like a romantic obsession paired with a literal trauma bond, because Mikey (if the story had continued) would've been revealed to be quite abusive towards Sanzu. It also would've been revealed that Sanzu and Mikey were very much sleeping together regularly, not that it's really a secret at all.

Anyway, well before they'd kidnapped "Y/N" Sanzu and Mikey had a "thing" and while it's very obvious that Mikey is only using Sanzu to everyone else, Sanzu doesn't realize this for a while. Mikey, to Sanzu, is the one person that gives him purpose and he will go to hell and back for Mikey if Mikey so much as asks. Mikey is a god amongst men that Sanzu is lucky to even be able to taste on days where Mikey let's him. Sanzu even thinks he's lucky when Mikey hits him, gives him black eyes and better yet — makes him bleed because anything he get's from Mikey is a badge of honor.

Sanzu's very gone and the one thing keeping him that way is the fact that there is no one he can compare himself to. Sanzu knows that he's above the other Bonten members in Mikey's heart; Mikey's never done anything with them — at least not the stuff he does to Sanzu. They don't have badges of honor to flaunt. But then, Sanzu brings "Y/N" into the picture to, at best, boost team morale and everything goes to shit, because Mikey starts giving him reasons to compare himself to her. There's a lot of shit that happens, but to sum it up: the idea that Mikey ever loved him starts to shatter more and more with the passage of time and one day his make believe world comes crashing down around him because of one thing.

Mikey has sex with "Y/N" and Sanzu realizes he can't compete with her at all and it's somehow all her fault that Mikey never loved him. To him, she's the reason Mikey keeps rejecting him. Before she came, Mikey never had sex with anyone else and now Sanzu has nothing to hold over her. Sure, Mikey was nicer to her and had kissed her several times before. Mikey had even wrongfully credited "Y/N" with saving his life so long ago even though it was Sanzu that saved him. Sanzu had let all of that go (kinda) and kept telling himself, when it comes to Mikey, "He knows where home is." But now home seems to be in a girl that he thinks might be the ugliest thing he's ever had the misfortune of laying eyes on.

All that anguish has a very sober Sanzu dragging her out the shower and beating her within an inch of her, after giving her a dramatic run-down of his grievances with Mikey that he projects onto her (who's more of a victim than he'll ever be) for two separate reasons. At one point he even throws her down the stairs and at another he hits her so hard that she loses hearing in one ear. Her blood makes a trail through the penthouse and no ones there to do anything about it. The only reason Sanzu ends up showing mercy and not killing her is because he knows Mikey would be more pissed than he already will be when he comes home to see her current state.

She's unconscious when he locks her on the balcony because he doesn't want to see her. Sanzu's fully aware he's in big trouble and doesn't even bother to clean up. He just calms his nerves by doing drugs in Mikey's room and chilling in Mikey's bed knowing something horrible might happen to him because of what he did. At some point, Sanzu realizes he's been crying the whole time and, in a moment of weakness, he lets his tears just fall without even attempting to wipe them away.

p.s. Sanzu's entire MBFC storyline is written to No Me Queda Mas in the most horrific and gut wrenching way and this is only a small part of it and it's the part where he actually realizes his standing in Mikey's life LOL

[megamindsupremacy]

Misc DC fic recs (part 2)

The trouble it might drag you down by remrose

Duke peeked around the door dangerously, just in time to get a glimpse of Bruce's face as he lifted an orange tie embroidered with the words 'WHERE'S THE BEEF?'.

(It's Bruce's birthday. Jason schemes. Duke wonders about family dynamics. Some neck-ties are received.)

Macushla by hinn-raven

Stephanie Brown is nine years old when her world falls to pieces. Whisked away from everything she's ever known, she finds herself in the court of Talia al Ghul, training to be an assassin. And when she ends up as Damian al Ghul's bodyguard, well her life just gets stranger from there.

Playacting by nex_et_nox

“So,” Jim said, “are you one of Wayne’s new kids?” Because only siblings acted that way toward each other, and it seemed like every time Gotham turned around, Bruce Wayne was adopting more kids. It was a reasonable question.

“What?” Jay asked. “No, I’m—” He paused. Very slowly, his head tilted as he looked over Jim’s shoulder in the most obvious way he possibly could.

Jim Gordon accidentally meets the "newest" member of the Wayne family.

Watch this by snackbaskets

Hal and Barry are worried about Batman's new partner. Being around the Batman all the time can't be good for a kid, right?

Robin insists otherwise, and for $15.36 of betting money, is happy to demonstrate.

The last of the real ones by lurkinglurkerwholurks

[series summary]Oneshots featuring Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent. Some fic stand completely alone, while others will show one POV and the following will show the other. I personally don't ship them, BUT do firmly believe that these are two men who love each other, so whether you're into deep platonic, fraternal love or love of a more romantic nature, I think these fics will work for you, because the foundational love and respect is the same.

[summary on first fic] Bruce was conscious of the power seething beneath Clark’s skin, but it always set him back to see it in action. To see the quiet, self-effacing man he knew become something else. Someone else. It was what made Clark’s facile disguise convincing, the way he changed to face a threat. Bruce was glad, as he always was, that Superman had chosen their side to fight on, but that didn’t make the raw power on display any less breathtaking.

Minimum height requirement by Drag0nst0rm

Somewhere in the multiverse, there's a universe where letting his children dress up in capes and follow him into vigilantism seems like a good idea.

Bruce is determined that it isn't going to be this one . . . Despite his children's repeated attempts to convince him otherwise.

(Or: "When you're eighteen, you can do what you want. Until then, no capes.")

Schrodinger's Robin by heartslogos

"Of course I'm a genius." Tim smiles to empty air. "I'm certified."

Sweet child o’ mine by nokomis

Steph said cheerfully, “Bruce, from now on, consider yourself in possession of one Steph-mom.”

“Absolutely not,” Bruce said.

Steph took a bite of her cake, undeterred.

Starlight raining over me by charcoal_moon

[That’s when something strange happens.

A shooting star falls from the sky and comes to a stop two inches from his nose. With a cry of alarm, Dick backs away from the brightly glowing object.

It’s green.

RICHARD GRAYSON OF EARTH, says the emerald star. YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO OVERCOME GREAT FEAR. WELCOME TO THE GREEN LANTERN CORPS.

“What the fuck,” Dick says blankly.]

The Flying Graysons fall in Coast City instead of Gotham, and Dick Grayson's path to heroism involves a hell of a lot more faith, trust, and alien tech than anyone ever expected.

[leviiattacks]

Two Faced | Chapter Ten

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it’s all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared, for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au ??? (at this point idek) angst, fluff, slice of life etc ?? word count :: 4k author note :: haha.... wowww it's been long since i last updated. honestly my physical and mental health have just been horrible... that's about it, i lost a lot of motivation but if you're still reading i am very thankful and i will try to deliver the story well. i tried my best but writing whilst sick is very tiresome :-) tags :: @patience-is-here​ , @chwlogy​ , @a--nonymousse​ , @imkumichan​ 

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Keeping yourself cooped up within Levi's estate and never daring to step a foot outside should have been what you had done. Blackmailing him to keep you confined within the walls of your bedroom would be much better compared to the problem you have to resolve now. Perhaps if you had done so you wouldn't have collided face first into this muddle.

Jean fiddles with the ends of his button up, he doesn't take the chance to glance up at any of his superiors. He's either much too embarrassed or has nothing noteworthy to start off with.

Erwin chooses to call the shots seeing as neither you or the Viscount by your side wish to begin.

"You both understand why we're here. Correct me if I'm wrong?" The Commander looks between you, Jean and your unfortunate excuse of a husband. Suddenly it looks as if the gears and cogs in Jean's brain move without warning.

Offering a demure nod you expect for him to follow in your footsteps and do the same only he stands there looking between you and Levi.

"Wait...The two of you are? A couple?" Stunned isn't the word, Jean's completely flabbergasted.

"If you figured that out this late, I do not understand why Erwin sees you remotely fit for my team." Levi's beyond insulted at the fact he's only just understood the situation.

Jean, now more intimidated than ever before straightens his back and coughs clumsily, "Sorry." He murmurs chestnut eyes making contact with the hardwood floors.

The Commander's laced hands sit atop his desk, elegant fingers moving similar to honey on a spoon. He sighs not out of fatigue but pride. Whatever plan he's come up with has to be decent at the very least, his body language is telling you that much.

"We have a number of possibilities we can choose from. We owe that pleasure to Mr Kirstein here." Erwin offers him an almost cynical smile, you can't help but gulp thinking about how this is essentially your fault. With all the constant training sessions and team building tasks it makes sense for Jean to have completely forgot about your unspoken rule. Solely blaming him is incorrect.

Raising your arm above your head to intervene you make it known that you're aware of Levi shooting you a look of warning by returning it. It's best he knows you don't care for anyone's opinion let alone his.

"Permission to speak Commander?"

Your request is agreed to immediately with the wave of  Erwin's hand.

"It's my fault for not reminding Jean. I'll take the blame, I hadn't even told him the full story concerning me and Levi."

Levi doesn't enjoy your defense in the slightest. "I don't expect my wife to fling herself at other men and allow for them to snoop around gathering the details of our personal lives."

Scoffing you shield yourself with your arms over your chest.

"Oh dear husband. If you want to get personal do tell me where my family is?" It's an inside joke only Levi will be able to understand.

"If you call those people family your standards are disgustingly low."

"Maybe that explains why I settled for you."

Again, other's opinions are not at the forefront of your priority list. Regardless it's quite enjoyable pushing Levi further into a corner with that sentence. You see the internal struggle play out within him. Jaw clenched, hands balled together. He doesn't have an appropriate response

Jean bursts out unable to hold it in any longer, chest trembling with every quake of laughter that ripples through him you have to shove him with your elbow. For a Viscount his etiquette sure is nonexistent.

"My word, the two of you sound like..."

Levi stares at him most probably expecting something along the lines of "An old married couple."

But, no. It's nothing anyone in the room expects. That includes you.

"It's as if you're unhappy with each other..."

Not a noise is made after that. Jean isn't mistaken, your heart is miserable. You've never had many relationships to begin with, whether it be familial, romantic or platonic and for someone such as your husband to treat you the way he does - it feels futile having to navigate around the complexities. Even if he isn't really your husband it's disappointing to reflect on your marriage so suddenly.

Feeling your face droop a little you bite your bottom lip with your teeth. Hearing the truth from someone you barely expect to hear it from has an effect on you.

You're so caught up analyzing everything it takes you a minute to even register Levi grumbling and lunging forward pilfering the collar of Jean's shirt.

"Every day you prove to be more and more pathetic than I expect." Levi turns to look at you after that. His stare bores into you but he doesn't come off threatening, you assume his last remark is directed solely at Jean.

When he turns back only glaring at Jean now with even more tenacity than before. He's ready to snap but Erwin has clearly had enough of the unwanted altercation in his office.

"Enough. The both of you. This is most bothersome." At the Commander's orders Levi is silenced although it takes all of his resolve to do so.

Finally bothering you take a good look at Jean. He's calm in an incredibly out of character way.

Is this not the man who trembled in his boots the first time he and Levi came into contact? It's almost as if he seems pleased with himself for drawing out such a reaction from his Captain.

Erwin shuffles through stacks of paperwork on his desk. The man needs an assistant at this point. You doubt you could find anything in that haphazard pile. Edges of crumpled paper poke out uncomfortably and Erwin becomes increasingly annoyed when he can't locate what it is he's looking for.

Just as you're about to ask if he requires any assistance it seems he's found what he's been looking for, that's if his eyes are any indication of the relief he feels.

"This." He holds up the paper, all eyes in the room are trained on it. "Under normal circumstances would not have to become an option."

"But these aren't normal circumstances?" Jean's thoughtless question is irksome when the answer is so obviously staring him down in the face.

Nonetheless Erwin nods incapable of losing his cool over something so minor.

"Sign to confirm to my proposition."

The document he places onto the desk isn't what you imagine, you can practically feel the dread climb up your throat once you're done scanning it. Jean's full name placed right next to yours in bold lettering has your stomach lurching. You don't have to read the rest to understand the new circumstances you've landed into.

To make matters worse Erwin places two rings down right in front of the both of you.

A pot of boiling hot water is what you've been thrown in.

Are you supposed to be some sort of replacement for potatoes? What's Jean in this scenario? Carrots?

"It is troublesome to have the two of you put on an act to be involved with one another but I see it as our safest option." Erwin notices your parted lips and slacked jaw. "You need not worry this isn't a marriage contract, you're simply acting."

There's no path out of this pot, you and Jean will simply have to deal with the prospect of being boiled alive.

Ah, you forgot to mention who would act as the hot water but you're sure the suspect is obvious.

Even right now Levi's fury radiates off of him, it's unclear if he was given the details of the Commander's plan beforehand but if his furrowed brow and pursed lips are indicators of the truth he must have had no idea.

Your suspicions are confirmed to be correct once Levi reaches forward plucking the paper away, it just so happens he's snatched it away the very moment Jean leans in to get a closer look at it.

"I was never informed of this."

Erwin gives him a guarded smile. "Do you have any jurisdiction over what I think is best?" Is his freezing reply.

"Yes. When it concerns my wife and another man - Correction. I meant boy."

Jean's taken aback by the subtle jab and shamefacedly shoves his hands into his pockets.

You watch the scene go down with a perplexed look the entire time. Levi's frustration seems to be legitimate yet he has no logical reason for it to ever be present in the first place. Unless he has a plan which outperforms the one you've just been given he's doing this all for nothing.

"I assure you your wife is in safe hands so long as you stop interfering."

Levi's about to bark back until he catches your confusion. He's become aware of your tilted head and telling expression and only then does he silence himself permanently not before sighing deeply, muttering an expletive under his breath.

 "I’ll sign it.” That seems to be Jean’s indirect way of asking what your choice will be.

“I... will too.” Is your hesitant reply.

Levi only becomes avoidant after that. Half way through Erwin explaining how you and Jean have to look believable Levi just ups and leaves without a word. Perhaps you've hurt his pride but for what he's done to you it's a small price to pay and so you do nothing to make amends. He has no reason to feel uncomfortable, you aren't really his wife, you're essentially strangers. Does he even know your favourite colour? Your favourite food? Your favourite pastime?  

You doubt he does.

Jean and you are rather successful with your act. It feels pleasant having him brush your hair out of your face occasionally or lovingly place a hand on your forehead to check if you've come down with a fever. He laces his fingers with yours when others are around and when they aren't he lets the act go. It's satisfying having a cooperative partner.

Naturally Jean is still a tease, even now he makes the odd suggestive comment or two in passing but you can't say you hate it. In fact it excites you to think of a response that borders the edge of teasing and simple fun between friends.

The increasing openness between the two of you is enough for the cadets to deduce that he's most probably the noble man you wed in secrecy.

It's only been a few days since yours and Jean's newfound behaviour, thankfully you haven't been flooded with questions just yet. The higher ups sit nearby during breakfast, lunch and dinner keeping watch over the cadets. It leaves you able to eat and drink without having to handle the constant inquiring of your comrades.

However, you aren't as lucky today. A meeting's taking place and after yours and Jean's convincing act Erwin deems it safe enough to leave you unattended for a short while.

Of course it doesn't go according to plan because when you're involved when does anything ever go according to plan?

The cadets are flocked around your table at dinner as soon as they notice they've been left to their own devices. The opportunity to sit down without everyone invading your space is barely provided to you. Krista is sat to your right leaning into you rather animatedly, Annie has made herself at home sat across you which in itself is completely out of character and slightly unnerving, Annie never and you repeat never concerns herself with you.

"Why did you and Jean hide it?" Armin hovers over your shoulder as per usual. He can't be blamed for naturally being inquisitive and it does give you the opportunity to lay out the foundations of your plan. Now's your time to muster up one of your rehearsed responses.

"It would interfere with work." You respond immediately wanting to appear natural. Pondering on an answer for too long would raise suspicions.

Armin makes a sound of approval and shuffles into the seat next to Krista, that is until Ymir can be overheard telling him to move if he knows what's best for him.

"I have a question." Says a voice across the table, you don't have to look at the blonde parallel to you to know it's her.

For once Annie’s initiated a conversation with you, she’s not particularly great at keeping her intentions discreet. Maybe she doesn’t care if you can tell what she’s up to? But if that’s the case her plan isn’t all that foolproof, there's no way you're to let any details slip away.

Sharply inhaling waiting for what it is she has to say you find that her sentence never comes. Instead she shakes her head and murmurs a "Never mind.". You don't even have the time to ask her to stick around, she's already rose from her seat taking her unfinished plate of food with her, you let her go assuming she feels unwell.

"So how'd you two meet? Jean already told me earlier but I'd like to hear your side." Reiner's taken Annie's empty seat and his gaze is unwavering. The trap they've set up is a clever one. Surveying the hall for Bertholdt you know he has to be observing too. The two never operate alone.

You suddenly hate Reiner. For whatever reason he and his trio are endlessly obsessed with you, they've caught onto something that's for sure but you don't know what it is and now they've completely ensnared you with a backhanded trick. There's no way out of this, you have no idea what it is Jean said to Reiner, the chances of you providing the exact same answer are slim to none.

"My memory is really fuzzy, I don't think Jean gave off much of a first impression so I've forgot." Your horrible excuse doesn't fly by, everyone simultaneously narrows their eyes in disbelief. What you've said isn't convincing at all.

Husband and Wife yet you've forgot how the two of you met?

Fidgeting with the ring adorning your finger the cool metal isn't doing a great job at alleviating the pressure of the situation.

"Jean said the two of you hit it off almost instantly. Who's being dishonest?"

Reiner's either lying to catch you out or he's saying the God honest truth and right now all you can do is hope and pray for a miracle to sweep you off your feet. Mikasa and Jean still aren't within view. At this point you're hoping for Levi to save you, it doesn't matter how so long as you escape unscathed.

"Hey, I think we're just making her anxious with all the questions." Armin is quick to side with you, deep down you know he only does so due to the respect he holds for his Commander. You thank the Heaven's for Erwin's admirable smile and commendable leadership, it seems to be the only reason Armin believes you and Jean.

"Or she's lying." Reiner's resting his head in one of his palms, he's still boring holes right into your frame.

Your eye twitches, this is all unnecessary and uncalled for, whatever it is Reiner wants out of you it better be worthwhile.

He still eggs you on. "You walked out of the Captain's quarters. I saw you."

Standing up and leaning forward you plant your feet to the ground as firmly as you can you.

"And if she did what's it to you?"

Fighting the urge to sigh in relief you've never been happier to hear Jean's voice but something's off. His breathing sounds heavy - like he fought his way to get inside. Turning only then do you notice Mikasa standing by him. She looks equally as exhausted. There's been some sort of a struggle.

"You think it was funny getting Annie to guard the door?" He heaves and runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

"And you think hiding secrets from the rest of us is any better?" Reiner's adamant there's information that the both of you are hiding, he's not wrong but that doesn't change that he's challenging you unprovoked without a reasonable motive.

"We're hiding nothing." Unlike you Jean is sure of his words, he's confident speaking up and he seems to be able to pull off the role of a protective husband perfectly.

“I came out of the Captain’s quarters because he had access to hot water. He said I could use his shower. That’s all it was.”

Reiner quirks an eyebrow upwards and is pleased with your answer. God you’ve said something incriminating haven’t you? It's not incriminating per se but it's without doubt malleable and easy to twist.

“Jean, you were okay with your wife doing that at the dead of night?” Reiner's still leading the interrogation.

“I was the one who suggested it.”

“I don’t believe you’re a couple." If it were Reiner who said that you wouldn't care much, after all it's pretty clear he never believed it but to your displeasure it isn't him who's spoken. Ymir's lopsided grin is all knowing and you're beginning to lose your footing in this argument any second now if any more people start to side against you.

If Ymir disagrees that almost certainly means Krista has her qualms about you too, you've observed beforehand that Ymir tends to speak for Krista on occasion. This happens to be one of those times.

Krista timidly raises her hand and Ymir gives her an approving nod encouraging her to speak.

"I don't like the conflict going on but it is suspicious..."

"Why have I only ever seen you two hold hands?" She asks.

Ymir slings her arm over Krista's shoulder affectionately. "Yeah, I tell Krista I'll marry her every day of the week."

Mikasa mumbles something unintelligible, Ymir gives her a look of warning but Mikasa doesn't seem to care. Instead she repeats what she has to say loud and clear.

"Stick to only speaking when Krista is involved."

Krista holds Ymir by her arm so she doesn't get up, she knows how she gets when she's been provoked. Even if Krista has her suspicions it isn't worth Ymir gaining a permanent penalty point on her record.

Thankfully Armin cuts in. "There's no solid evidence to show they're lying and even if they are the Commander's most probably told them to. Don't you think there's a reason? Leave it be if that's the case. I trust him with our lives."

"We have a right to know." Annie's returned and insists to keep this back and forth going.

Just as you're about to fire back Jean takes a hold of your waist, you look down and seeing his large hands planted securely around your frame has your stomach bubbling with anticipation.

"What are you— "

And then he kisses you, he doesn't ask and instinctively your arms move to whack his chest but you stop yourself in time. You realize it's for the sake of your plan not falling through and so you gently place your hands on his shoulders attempting to ground yourself. It becomes increasingly difficult when you sink deeper into the kiss than you'd like to admit. Blood rushes to the tips of your ears and the thumping of your heartbeat makes it difficult to articulate any thoughts, all you really know is that you like this, whatever this is.

Jean's hands don't feel like they were made to rest against your back, they feel slightly out of place as if he's a key and you're an unmatched lock. In spite of that the circles he comfortingly rubs into the sides of your waist are appreciated, you almost forget you're in a room full of people until you're flooded by cold air.

You've been dragged off of Jean and something in the pit of your stomach has you wishing Levi isn't responsible for the interruption.

To your relief it's just Hange, they're glowing in mischief, the grin on their face shows they aren't mad. They might even find this entertaining.

"Well I be damned... maybe they weren't bluffing?" Connie's been persuaded by the looks of it and Krista's busy whispering to Ymir, you hear the faint sound of the word "Romantic" escape her lips, she's equally as convinced as Connie.

Hange smacks your back light-heartedly and looks to the door for a second. "We leave ya' both for a while and you decide to give everyone a show?"

Erwin's stood by the doorway with a humorous smile playing at his lips, Levi however is anything but amused, he glares at you with murderous eyes, he looks like he's ready to end your life then and there but you know he won't dare do so and for a second you feel braver than you ever have before. Without much thought you grab onto Jean's forearm.

"Me and my husband will get going now!" You allow your gaze to loiter when you get to Reiner. He grunts an apology and you're oh so tempted to ask him to repeat himself but you'd rather not instigate anything.

With that said and done you and Jean leave after giving the performance of your lives.

Slowly but gradually the sky outside becomes dark.

The will to sleep left your body long ago. It's by pure luck that you even manage to catch three hours of rest. Training is the only available distraction and dying out in battle isn't favourable by any means, your boredom may as well be used resourcefully - Strapping yourself up in your ODM gear is the best option.

A quarter way through your warm up you can sense a presence behind you, the leaves rustle and the wind feels noticeably quieter. You'd bother to turn around to see who's intruded but Levi's snuck close enough for you to be able to smell his perfume from where you're stood.

"Feel disrespected? Embarrassed even?" You jab at him knowing it'll rile him up, you don't face him not wanting to give him the pleasure of seeing your face.

"Watch your mouth." he warns sharply.

Rolling your eyes you go about your business, it stays that way for a few minutes. All the while Levi stares at you darting from tree to tree, his scrutinizing gaze scalding you repeatedly.

"Y/N!" He yells at the top of his lungs.

For some unknown reason you automatically stop and lower yourself to the ground

"I have something to tell you." Comes his tense follow up. A finger of his latches onto one of the leather straps on your back.

You can't believe he's still denying the undeniable.

"You can wait till tomorrow. I'll be going to bed."

Levi doesn't seem to care for your cold response and proceeds with no warning.

"I'm jealous." His voice shakes. The grip he has on your harness doesn't let up. With your back turned to him you're still somehow able to detect the very obvious crack of pain.

Levi, jealous?

Gritting your teeth together you feel deceived.

How much longer will you have to tolerate Levi's push and pull?

“May I ask, what he is to you, my love?”

Your breathing grows heavy, tensing up you're completely shocked by the term of endearment that falls from his lips. You haven't heard it for so long, Levi sounds eerily different.

You hate to admit it but a flicker of foolish hope lights in your chest.

"Levi why would you ask— "

"Why don't you call me Lev anymore?" He whispers sounding strangled. You can't take it anymore and hesitantly look his way.

His eyes are filled with tears "I'm sorry my love, I don't know what went wrong." you falter for a second not knowing what to think.

At that moment the flicker becomes a flame.

The man who stands right before you is meant to be dead, never to be seen again. By all accounts this should be impossible, but Lev has always been a fighter.

Bitterness stings your heart, the wounds you've collected are still fresh but despite your body's protests you don't flinch when he gently takes a hold of your wrist, bringing it closer to his mouth.

"Lev...? Is that really you...?" You ask desperately.

The warm kiss he presses against your pulse point provides you with the answer you've been longing for.

[dearestarmie]

I guess I don't get shipping real people 🤷🏼‍♀️ I think Armie and Timothee have amazing chemistry with each other, and it made cmbyn so much more because of it, and obviously once you've been through an experience like that your going to be closer to each other than most friends. But how does that translate into them being in love and everything that they do is about each other? Just because Armie was married to a horrible bitch doesn't make him gay/bi. At least I don't think so. And Tim seems like so many other young men his age pushing the boundaries of gender and sexuality (and good for him!) but how do you know he's gay/bi? I don't get that they are a couple. And it's not just them, I don't get freebatch or larry or any of them. Good friends, yes. Extremely close friends, yes. Emotionally attached friends, yes. But not necessarily romantic or sexual. What am I missing?

I don't know what you want me to tell you, dude. Honestly, my love for them doesn't depend on their relationship irl. I like to believe they are an actual couple, yes, because I saw every interaction they had off camera and it was something special. But if they're not really a couple currently, just close intimate friends, as you say, good for them. I'm here for that too. And regarding their sexuality, you guys like to put so many words on our mouths, it's insane. What I think and what reality is are completely distinct things and you forget to regard that as . I was never sure of their sexuality or relationship in the first place, it's all about what I think, and that's not the same as I believe is actually true, because we may never know about their truth. And most importantly, why is it so impossible to think that they're not straight? What's the big offense in that? Is being gay/bi so wrong that you can't assume someone is? Sounds pretty bigoted to me, dude. Why is it so bad to imagine two men might be involved romantically? Just because they are men? Just because being gay/bi will make them less men than they are? You should reevaluate your own views on life, dude.