#and frame me as a bad person for the limits of how fucking much my brain can focus on?

[katyspersonal]

I really do not deserve sympathy if I keep trusting into people who obviously can only hurt and invalidate everything about me and everything we had as soon as I don't meet some of their selfish expectations. As soon as I start to feel safe and accepting living together, I fucking hear "we have no reason to be friends if you don't get into the videogames that I love" when I explained 500 times how I interact with videogames and fiction and why I cannot just waste my days playing many of them and why I cannot simply chug up new information and content often.

But really, why should anyone care about the fact that I get hurt again and that I am crying again, when I am the one who never fucking learns and keeps giving a chance to a person that I /know/ doesn't care and will harm me when I expect it the least? That every time it is another dumb, stupid, minor thing that magically makes me no longer important. That I cannot be honest and cannot be myself without being punished for it every time. That I just am not worthy of acceptance and understanding and unconditional love, it seems. That I am never good enough. Maybe people that hate me and want to exterminate me for the awful sin of having terrible mental health were right. Maybe I am weak for expecting anything from wrong kind of people. And the weakest must be gone.

[were--ralph]

why exactly do you dislike generative art so much? i know its been misused by some folks, but like, why blame a tool because it gets used by shitty people? Why not just... blame the people who are shitty? I mean this in genuinely good faith, you seem like a pretty nice guy normally, but i guess it just makes me confused how... severe? your reactions are sometimes to it. There's a lot of nuance to conversation about it, and by folks a lot smarter than I (I suggest checking out the Are We Art Yet or "AWAY" group! They've got a lot on their page about the ethical use of Image generation software by individuals, and it really helped explain some things I was confused about). I know on my end, it made me think about why I personally was so reactive about Who was allowed to make art and How/Why. Again, all this in good faith, and I'm not asking you to like, Explain yourself or anything- If you just read this and decide to delete it instead of answering, all good! I just hope maybe you'll look into *why* some people advocate for generative software as strongly as they do, and listen to what they have to say about things -🦜

if Ai genuinely generated its own content I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it, however what Ai currently does is scrape other people's art, collect it, and then build something based off of others stolen works without crediting them. It's like. stealing other peoples art, mashing it together, then saying "this is mine i can not only profit of it but i can use it to cut costs in other industries.

this is more evident by people not "making" art but instead using prompts. Its like going to McDonalds and saying "Burger. Big, Juicy, etc, etc" then instead of a worker making the burger it uses an algorithm to build a burger based off of several restaurant's recepies.

example

the left is AI art, the right is one of the artists (Lindong) who it pulled the art style from. it's literally mass producing someone's artstyle by taking their art then using an algorithm to rebuild it in any context. this is even more apparent when you see ai art also tries to recreate artists watermarks and generally blends them together making it unintelligible.

Aside from that theres a lot of other ethical problems with it including generating pretty awful content, including but not limited to cp. It also uses a lot of processing power and apparently water? I haven't caught up on the newer developements i've been depressed about it tbh

Then aside from those, studios are leaning towards Ai generation to replace having to pay people. I've seen professional voice actors complain on twitter that they haven't gotten as much work since ai voice generation started, artists are being cut down and replaced by ai art then having the remaining artists fix any errors in the ai art.

Even beyond those things are the potential for misinformation. Here's an experiment: Which of these two are ai generated?

ready?

These two are both entirely ai generated. I have no idea if they're real people, but in a few months you could ai generate a Biden sex scandal, you could generate politics in whatever situation you want, you can generate popular streamers nude, whatever. and worse yet is ai generated video is already being developed and it doesn't look bad.

I posted on this already but as of right now it only needs one clear frame of a body and it can generate motion. yeah there are issues but it's been like two years since ai development started being taken seriously and we've gotten to this point already. within another two years it'll be close to perfected. There was even tests done with tiktokers and it works. it just fucking works.

There is genuinely not one upside to ai art. at all. it's theft, it's harming peoples lives, its harming the environment, its cutting jobs back and hurting the economy, it's invading peoples privacy, its making pedophilia accessible, and more. it's a plague and there's no vaccine for it. And all because people don't want to take a year to learn anatomy.

[aplpaca]

On one hand plastic fiber is bad for the environment and its production should be regulated imo but also like the way most of the posts talking about the issue are framed is really tiring and doen't sit super well with me bc theyre all "these fabrics are horrible and feel bad and we should only ever use natural fibers and nothing else and in a better society polyester wouldn't exist."

but like. I'm autistic and my main sensory issues are with touch and texture. I can't wear like 98% of clothes sold in stores bc the styles and fabrics set off my sensory issues and make me feel like I have to rip my skin off and break my skull against a wall. And a solid 75-90% of what I'm actually able to wear is polyester bc of how it stretches (for reference, polyester clothing is about 50-60% of the market). Pretty much everything I can wear that's not a generic cotton t shirt is largely polyester, and I have not found any natural fibers that are wearable for me without also incorporating polyester. Like I can honestly make an argument that access to polyester clothing is an accessibility issue for me. And there's no way I'm the only person this applies to.

So like. the framing of "and it's such a shitty bad-feeling fabric" as a reason to limit its use is just. literally not true for a lot of people (even those who don't have sensory issues. If no one thought it was comfortable, it wouldn't sell, my man). and also completely irrelevant to the actually important environmental issues.

also like. With addressing the environmental issues of polyester and other synthetic fibers, it should also come with consideration of like, either finding an environmentally friendly alternative that's *actually* a valid alternative in terms of texture, stretch/behavior, and utility. or, in the absence of an alternative, finding a way to reduce the production of and reliance on polyester without making it impossible for those who can't tolerate other options to find clothing that works for them and doesn't make them feel like they're physically combusting

And "polyester bad shitty fabric and I hate it i love you linen uwu" does neither of those things (also I fucking hate you linen). like. If I could wear 100% natural fiber pants, I would. But I literally can't do that without having a meltdown. So until that issue is addressed, the "just wear natural fibers"/"we need to only use natural fibers" type of clothing sustainability campaigning unfortunately isn't accessible to me and others with similar issues

[rukunas]

angsty?? deku sucks here (sorry don’t kill me)

“So?” His hands clasp together, steepled in anticipation. “What did that extra get you? Flowers? Chocolates?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on.” Dynamight smirks. “I need to know so I can get my girl something better.”

You scoff as you place the bouquet of fresh red roses in a vase on his desk, courtesy of his new model girlfriend. The note, marked with a perfect lipstick stain, taunts you. “Is it a competition?”

“When it’s with Deku?” Dynamight flashes his canines. “Yes.”

“You’ll win either way. I wasn’t lying. He didn’t get me anything.” You do your best to keep the vitriol out of your voice, but there’s still a sharpness hidden in your tone.

Bakugo catches it, smile disappearing and his brows pinching together in an uncharacteristic concerned frown. “Oh… That case from the Commission is probably kicking his ass right now.”

“Yeah.” You shrug stiffly. “Enjoy the flowers.”

You feel like a bitch. Dynamight is right— you’ve seen how much Izuku has been working, spending late nights at his office, traveling abroad, meeting with some big officials in the government. You even told him to not worry for Valentine’s Day.

So, why were you mad? You had no right. And yet, you thought…

Buzz.

Your phone: Sorry baby, will make it back late 2nite :(( Don’t wait up on me

Well. It didn’t matter what you thought.

The day seems everlasting, annoyingly so. You would know— having to watch each of your coworkers get their own little presents and cards throughout the day. It would be just as bad if you went home and swiped through your phone all day, watching couple after couple post about their date plans. Fuck it, you’ll just stay back in the office and work ahead, it’s not like you have anything else to do.

“The fuck are you still doing here?” A gruff voice echoes from the hall.

“Why are you here?” You shot back, eyeing the hero who leans against your door frame. You recall when you first started working for Bakugo as his assistant, nervous to even look at him in the eye. Now, you openly glare at him. “Your date is at 8. It was hard as hell to get that reservation, you better not waste it.”

“She’s busy, said it in the note. Where’s your date?”

“He’s busy.”

He hums lowly before looking away, staring at the clutter on your desk. Precious hero figurines that you’ve been collecting for years are propped up in poses, along with a picture of you and Izuku. It was from so long ago, you barely remember the memory.

“Would you—” He starts.

“Can I—”

Silence takes over as the two of you interrupt one another.

“Sorry. You go.” You gesture at him to continue.

“Come with me. For dinner.”

“Me?”

Maybe it’s an illusion, but you swear the tips of his ear go pink. “You said it yourself. I can’t miss that reservation. And you said you don’t have plans…”

“Okay.”

“Seriously?” He sounds surprised. It makes your lips curl upward, followed by a breathless laugh.

“Why would I say no to free dinner?”

“I never said I was paying.”

“Oh, shut up, Katsuki.” It was not an illusion, you conclude, watching as his cheeks turn the same color pink as his ears. It takes you a moment to realize you said his given name.

“Alright. I’ll start the car.” He turns to walk out. “Check your desk before you go.”

“Huh?” Too late— he’s disappeared around the corridor.

Suspiciously, you scan your desk. Maybe he left some form that needed your signature? A PR proposal? But nothing seems to be out of order…

Wait. You pause, breath catching as you find the one thing that definitely was not there before. The Limited Edition All-Might Golden Figurine—the figure that was one of the ten ever made, and one that you’ve always dreamt of getting your hands on— stands boldly at your desk. You don’t know how you missed it, not knowing when it was placed there. You feel warmth bloom at your chest, knowing the one person who’d given it to you.

With hands still shaking in excitement and awe, you send out a text: I love you and I love the gift! Thanks baby!!

You find yourself grinning from ear to ear as you pack your things into your bag and put on your jacket. As you do so, your phone buzzes. A happy sigh flutters from your lips as you rummage through your purse to grab it. You knew he’d get you something! He wouldn’t have forgotten Valentine’s Day! And he’s gotten you the best gift you have ever gotten—

?? What gift?

You roll your eyes at his faux cluelessness, moving to take a picture of the figurine. But, as you do, you catch the note stuck to the bottom of it.

The handwriting isn’t Izuku’s. Though, you recognize it immediately.

Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope I won.

[ereardon]

The Backup || Chapter 1 [Jake Seresin x Reader]

Summary: No strings attached sex never works, right? You and Jake Seresin have fallen into a bad pattern of seeking each other out for sex after dates go awry, but a year of being friends with benefits with Jake hasn’t been good for your dating life. Especially when the two of you are hiding your antics from your lifelong best friend Coyote and the rest of your tightly knit friend group. But what happens when you decide to take a step back and end the cycle with Jake to focus on your dating life? And why is it that all of the sudden Jake looks more irresistible than ever when you know he’s off limits? 

Pairing: Jake Seresin x Reader

Warnings: Implied smut, cursing

WC: 3.2K

Masterlist here

[Please see note at the end, tag list is closed but please follow/turn on notifications for my library page @ereardonlibrary instead]

“That can’t happen again.”  

“It will.” 

You sighed loudly, flinging yourself backward onto the mound of pillows, knowing that he was right. Jake rolled off the bed, tugging on his boxers. 

He grinned. “Any more bad dates planned for this week?” 

“A blind date on Friday,” you replied, rolling onto your side to face him as Jake got dressed. “Someone that a secretary from my work knows.” 

“A blind date, really?” 

Ignoring his comment, you replied, “What about you?” 

“No plans.” 

“Which means that you’ll have a date lined up by Thursday.” 

“And it’ll be a flop and we’ll be right back here on Friday night.” 

“I’m serious Jake, this can’t keep happening.” You stepped out of bed, slipping on a silk robe and tying it tightly around your middle. “We can’t be each other’s fallback every time a date goes sideways.” 

“So end it,” he said. “You’re the one that called me tonight, remember?” 

“I’m weak,” you replied and Jake chuckled. 

“You’re a lot of things, sweetheart, but weak isn’t one of them. Except when it comes to those mall pretzels.” 

“Well those are objectively the best.” 

“True.” 

You watched as Jake finished getting dressed, tying his shoelaces, slipping on his jacket. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Always.” 

“Are we fucking each other up by doing this? Like are we the reason that every single date goes bad? Because I feel like lately they all end up sucking.” 

“The dates are bad because our options are bad,” Jake replied. “We’re not cursed, Stinky. That’s just how these things go. You date and date and just when you think you want to fling yourself over the Golden Gate you find one person who suddenly makes things work. And then you live your weird Hallmark lives together forever.” 

“You, Jake Seresin, believe that?” You raised your eyebrows. “What happened to the guy I met three years ago who didn’t realize that girls don’t want to come over to your fucking Tenderloin apartment and see a bed without a bed frame?” 

“I loved that apartment and it was dirt cheap,” Jake argued. “Besides, you’re not much better. Remember when you thought guys actually liked girls who wore Birkenstocks?” 

“They’re comfortable!” 

“You looked like you were going to yell at me for not using a reusable jar to grind my own peanut butter at Whole Foods for twenty dollars an ounce. It was heinous. Also they smelled like ass.” Hence, the nickname that you hoped would die but never did. 

“You’re just saying that because your type is girls who stomp around in size five Aquazzura heels on Market Street and have their daddy’s Amex card numbers memorized.” 

“Better than your type. Mr. Couch potato, looks practically homeless and asks you to split the check at dinner because he’s too cheap to pay for your baked potato.” 

“That happened twice, that’s not a pattern.” 

“More than once is concerning.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re lucky you’re good in bed because I can’t fucking stand you.” 

“Stop stroking my ego.” 

“Goodnight, Seresin,” you said, walking toward the kitchen, your back to him. “Slam the door on your face on your way out, won’t you?” 

“Night Stinky,” he said and you could hear his footsteps trailing down the hallway. “See you next weekend!” 

You grabbed a half-empty bottle of Sauvignon Blanc from the fridge door and slammed it, a little too hard, the sound of bottles inside rattling as you unscrewed the cap and chugged directly from the bottle. It was acidic, probably too old, but it would do the trick. Anything to block out Jake’s words that haunted the quiet air of your apartment even after he was gone.

He was right. Somehow the two of you always fell into bed together. The dates always went belly up. Hinge, Raya, Bumble, League. No app worked. No blind set up. It was like clockwork: you’d spend an hour getting ready for a date, and within five minutes you’d know that at the end you’d call an Uber to take you to Jake’s. Or vice versa: he’d show up at your door with a pocketful of condoms and a smirk. It always ended the same way. For almost a year, you and Jake had been filling the gaps of your dating life with each other. Friends with benefits. No strings. 

And, of course, you made a point to keep it from the friend group. Coyote would throw an absolute fit if he found out. He had made a point the first time he introduced you to his friend group, which had later adopted you as one of their own, to steer clear of Jake. 

“Before we go in, there’s one rule.” 

You frowned, looking up at him. His face, normally so relaxed and chill, was creased in concern. The two of you had known each other for more than half of your lives, growing up in houses across the street from each other. At night, sometimes you would flick the lamp on your desk off and on as a kid to get his attention. He would do the same, powering up the old Walkie Talkies your mom had given the two of you one summer so you could whisper to each other in the darkness, your own secret club. This was all before cell phones were stapled to every kid’s ear, even before AIM or Facebook. Javy had been your friend for what felt like every minute of your life. 

“Don’t fall for Jake’s bullshit, OK?” Coyote said. “He’s suave and shit, but he’s going to hurt you if you let him.” 

“I’ll be fine.” 

He shook his head. “I mean it, Y/N. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” 

Coyote had seen you at every low point in your life. When your prom date stood you up and he stepped in. When you almost failed out of sophomore year because your math professor had a chip against you. When your dad died after freshman year of college and the two of you stood side by side in your backyard in the rain, not speaking, but you knew he was there and that was enough. 

Coyote had been there for all of it. You knew, deep down, that he had your best interests in mind. 

But then you had walked into the bar on 22nd Street and Jake’s golden head had been thrown back in a laugh and you felt your heartbeat speed up in your chest. The way he looked at you that first night — it was like you were a prize and he was operating the claw machine with an endless supply of quarters. You flirted with him, to Javy’s disdain, but at the end of the night when he slipped his hand onto your bare knee you pulled away with a grin. 

You weren’t going to make it easy for him. 

At first that’s all it was. A chase, flirtation. Coyote’s eyes darting angrily between you and Jake as the two of you argued over the pool table or in a game of darts. The time all six of you — Jake, Coyote, Phoenix, Bob and Bradley — rented bikes in Golden Gate Park and the last mile was just you and Jake, ahead of everyone else, racing as fast as you could until your lungs threatened to give out and the greenery of the park opened up onto Ocean Beach. 

The two of you had ditched your bikes, plopping down into the sand, gasping for breath, the waves slapping softly along the shore. 

“You win,” Jake said. 

“I know, I got here a solid ten seconds before you.” 

He looked over with a grin. “No, I mean you win, Y/N. I’m not going to try and sleep with you. We can be friends, or whatever the hell it is that girls want.” 

You shook your head, laughing. “All it took was getting beat in a physical competition and you’re giving up? Jake Seresin, I’m appalled.” 

He laid back against the sand and you did the same, heads only a foot or so apart. 

“What girls want,” you added, “is to be pursued not chased. Is to feel wanted but not smothered. Sexy but still intelligent.”

“That’s too much to ask for.” 

“You asked what we want, not what’s attainable.” 

“Is that what you want, Y/N?” 

In that moment, you wanted him. You wanted to feel his hard, sweaty muscles pressed against your body. Feel his silky golden hair beneath your fingertips. His rough voice in your ear. 

You rolled over on top of Jake, surprise lacing his face, your hands digging into the sand on either side of his head. Your hips grazed over his, just a hint, and Jake reached up one hand, brushing the hair out of your face where it had fallen from your ponytail. 

“I’m not going to tell you what I want,” you whispered, smirking. “More fun this way.” 

“Oh you’re evil,” Jake grinned, rolling the two of you over until you were pressed against the sand, his much larger body pinning you down, this time his hips grinding you down against the soft beach. You could feel him everywhere and it took everything in your body not to moan out into the open air for all the families and tourists to hear. The rush knowing that any minute the rest of the group could catch up and find the two of you only made your heart beat faster in your chest. “I’m up for the challenge.” 

“You better be.” 

The two of you laid there, Jake’s arms boxing you in, his chest lifting against yours. If you reached up a few inches you would be able to slide your lips against his. 

But instead, you shoved him off and he landed in the sand as you laughed. You saw it in his eyes at that moment. 

You had Jake Seresin’s interest. For now. 

***

“Hey, you’re early for once.” Coyote leaned in, kissing your cheek gently. 

You grinned. “Snagged a front row parking spot.” 

“Grab a table, I’ll get us some coffees.” 

“Flat white?” 

He nodded, heading off toward the counter. You picked a spot in the corner, a big round table. The door swung open and Bob and Bradley walked in. You waved, Bradley sliding into the booth with a grin. “Hey Stink,” he said and you rolled your eyes. The nickname had stuck, despite your best effort to shake it over the last few years. 

“Bradshaw. What did y’all get up to last night?” 

“The usual,” he said as Bob sat down with two black coffees and slid one to Bradley. “Started out at the bars in Richmond.” 

“And ended up in some twentysomething’s bed in the Marina,” Bob finished. 

You shot him a smile which he returned with a shy grin. “Just you two idiots out on the town.” 

“Phoenix was there, and Jake.” 

His ears must have been burning, because the moment his name was said, Jake sauntered through the door, looking far too fresh for nine in the morning after a night of drinking and debauchery. 

You should know. The two of you had, predictably, landed in bed together after your blind date. Just like Jake said you would. Just like you had hoped you wouldn’t. He spotted the three of you in the corner and smirked, lifting a pair of sunglasses onto the top of his head and heading toward the counter. 

Coyote slid into the spot next to you. “Flat white. And I got you a croissant. You look hungover.” 

“You’re a dick.” 

“Just smile and look pretty,” he replied and you grunted, ripping off a piece of croissant and stuffing it into your mouth. “Where’s Nat?” 

“Running late,” Bob said, checking his phone. 

Jake took a seat across the table from you, a cup of hot coffee in one hand, a donut in the other. He took a bite, powdered sugar coating his upper lip in a faux mustache. “So everyone here got some last night?” 

You rolled your eyes, arms crossed over your chest. Bob’s face glowed pink. Coyote dragged a wet tea bag out of his cup. “Could you be cruder?” 

“Yes.” It rolled off of his tongue effortlessly. 

You scowled and took a sip of coffee. Phoenix crashed through the cafe doors, flinging herself into the remaining chair and swiping the last of your croissant, shoving it in her mouth. “Hey.” 

“Morning Princess,” Bradley said. “Long night? We lost you after the second bar.” 

She shrugged and leaned over, taking a sip of his coffee. “Ew, no cream, really Bradshaw? Anyways, I ran into Nina.” 

The group groaned. Nina was Phoenix’s ex-girlfriend and it was communally agreed that she should stay an ex. If Natasha’s belongings on a curb and her box of coats on literal fire weren’t proof enough, Nina had also stolen from her once and racked up a monumental credit card bill that Phoenix later managed with the bank. 

“She’s changed!” 

“Nobody changes,” you replied. 

“Well how was your night, Stink?” she asked. “That blind date work out?” 

“He smelled like Fritos and told me his goal in life was to quit insurance sales and start a Lord of the Rings themed coffee bar.” 

“That’s lowkey kind of cool,” Bob replied. 

“Let’s just say it didn’t work out.” 

“So you went home alone?” 

Across the table, Jake smirked. You hid your face in your coffee mug. “Yeah. Alone.” 

***

“So you work at a bank. That’s cool.” 

You sighed, taking a sip of wine. “I’m actually a hedge fund analyst.” 

Bill, your date for the night, frowned. “Bob told me you worked at a bank. I thought you were a teller or something. So you work.” 

You were going to kill Floyd. Bill was tall, you’d give him that. But this was the third hint he’d dropped that screamed of misogyny. The first was when you ordered a steak and a glass of red and he asked why you weren’t getting a salad. The second was when you ordered a second glass of wine and he frowned, saying wasn’t it bad for your fertility to be drinking so much? “Yes, I work,” you replied. “And do you work?” 

He puffed out his chest. “Of course. I’m a real estate agent.” 

“And does that pay well?” 

He went ashen and then a bright fiery red. You tried to hide your grin behind your wine glass. 

“I’m going to use the restroom.” You slid out from your chair, grabbing your purse and heading toward the front of the restaurant. When Bill looked away, you darted right, out the front doors, practically jogging around the corner. “I’m going to murder Floyd,” you said into the phone. 

Jake’s laugh on the other end was warm. “Again? I thought you were still mad at him for that sous chef-turned yoga instructor who tried to crack your back in the middle of the restaurant.” 

“Just come pick me up?” you begged, looking around. “I’m at some place in the Mission, I’ll send you my location. And hurry, before my date comes out here and tries to get me to put on a costume from Little House on the Prairie.” 

Five minutes later, you were stretching out in the passenger seat of Jake’s car. He had one hand on the wheel, the other on your thigh, cruising down Van Ness toward the Marina. You resisted the urge to study him: his golden hair illuminated by the headlights of oncoming traffic, the way he smelled like pine and fresh laundry and the smirk that you knew was practically tattooed on his lips. 

Those lips that, try as you might, you couldn’t stop aching for. 

It always ended the same. You and Jake in a pile of tangled limbs in crisp white sheets, sweat pricking at your skin, hair a mess, a soreness already starting to form between your legs. And you’d do it again and again, even if it was wrong. Even if hiding things from Coyote and the rest of the group was becoming next to impossible. Because ending the night with Jake was a hell of a lot better than being alone in your apartment. 

“Stay,” Jake said as you pulled on your jeans, buttoning the top button and turning around in your lacy bra, searching for your shirt that had somehow been flung onto the coffee table. 

You yanked it over your head. “What? No, that’s rule number three.” The two of you had started a list of informal rules for your friends with benefits situation. Rule number one: no getting attached. Rule number two: keep it a secret. Rule number three: no sleepovers. 

“Rules are made to be broken, babe.” 

“Don’t babe me, Seresin,” you grunted, slipping on one stiletto and then the other, examining your hair in the mirror above the dresser. 

“For once, what if you just pretended to like me for more than five seconds when we’re not horizontal.” 

“It’s not an act, Jake,” you replied, whipping around to look at him. He was sitting up in bed, sheet covering his lower half, top half ridiculously muscular and drenched in a thin layer of sweat that only made him glisten in the dull light from the lamp. “You and I? We’re two totally different people. We have good sex and we have the same friends but the similarities stop there. I want someone to actually be in a relationship with. Not just a booty call.” 

“Feeling pretty used over here.” 

“You use me and I use you,” you replied, “that’s how this works. Two-way street.” 

“For a girl who claims to want more than this, you seem to be jumping into my bed a lot.” 

“Fuck you,” you said, but it was lighthearted. 

“I mean it, Y/N,” Jake replied and there was something serious in his tone. “You say you want a real relationship but you don’t even give guys a chance. You find something wrong with them, every single time.” 

“You literally said not two weeks ago that everyone in this city is insane and that’s why none of our dates ever work out.” 

Jake stood up, slipping on a pair of boxers. “That’s true, too. But you’re part of the problem, Stinky. And I think you know it.” 

“I’m leaving,” you said, stomping down the hallway toward the front door. 

“You'll be back here in a few days,” Jake called out. 

You slammed the door behind you. There was nothing but silence on the other side of the door. Jake wasn’t the type of guy to rush after you, say he was wrong. 

And why would he? Because the truth was, he was right. And you both knew it. 

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[justfandomwritings]

An essay on why I won’t be watching next season.

1. Obviously actors have to promote their shows and hype them up. But the interactions between Nicola and Luke during the press tour were, in retrospect, clearly also acting performances, and it is rare to see acting within the press tour to the degree that those two put on while grossly exaggerating things like how sexy this season would be or how much Polin we would get. I don’t blame them. It’s clearly what they were told to do. And it’s fine to hype a show, but I think a lot of people felt genuinely lied to with the WAY this season was hyped.

2. The casting has been color conscious and inclusive in a way I greatly admire. But they have not been inclusive in other ways. And that’s not to say they should have to be. One show shouldn’t bear the responsibility of being inclusive to everyone and making up for an industries worth of exclusion. But we have exactly one size inclusive character in this whole show, and I’m not even demanding more, but to butcher the season of the only size inclusive person in this show this badly and in these ways sends me a clear message of what the writers thought they could get away with with a curvy actress and how they saw her.

3. The wait times for this season and next season are just too long. The hype dies down too much between seasons such that we care less and less each time we get a new one, especially when you only give eight episodes, regardless of their length. You know who also gave us a season in 2022 and then an eight episode season this year? house of the dragon. And they have to CGI a fuck ton of dragons. Yall were sitting on this season being done filming for over a year and for what? What did you do in post? A bee? And then to have the audacity to do it in two parts? Fuck off.

4. Add to that. The costumes and new sets looked so much cheaper this season than previous seasons. Where did the budget go.

5. The plot is too crowded. Maybe you thought a curvy girl couldn’t carry a season. Maybe it was bad writing. Obviously you needed Cressida and Eloise to have decent amounts of screen time but you also did half of Francesca’s story and set one up for Violet and Benedict that collectively took the majority of the screen time and left us with very little Pen and Colin. Which was a disservice you never gave Anthony or Daphne’s seasons and was why they were good. We got enough crumbs of the others to tell us what was happening but not enough to make them feel like main characters or to make it feel like an ensemble show. There were leads in season 1 and 2. This season it was an ensemble with too many moving parts. But everyone’s said that. It’s not surprising.

6. My biggest problem is the tone. The blame. Admittedly I’m a woman who relates strongly to Penelope so I’m not impartial here. But for a character who spends her entire life being abused by every single person in this show, who is pushed to her absolute breaking point before finally giving her mother and the tonne a taste of their own medicine. For that character to receive no grace, no understanding, no respect, for the vast majority of the season hurt. To not only have zero understanding of her situation but to frame the entire plot of the show around the fact that SHE alone should be sorry. To have minimal to no groveling from Colin over what he said last season, to have no acknowledgment of how he treated her as a safety net, to humanize Cressida who made her life hell with minimal acknowledgment of that fact, to have Eloise get ONE comment from Cressida of all people about her friendship with Penelope but no real reflection from Eloise or acknowledgment on her part or apologies for what a truly SHIT friend she was for DECADES. That hurt. Because the message is that sure, they can push you to your fucking limit, you can break after years of being bullied for your weight and your looks and your status. Your own mother and sisters hands can be filthy with insults and abuse. Your friends can treat you like utter garbage for years. They can befriend your bullies. Your soon to be husband can, very recently, insult you to his friends behind your back. But you owe them the apology for breaking after years of abuse. It’s not that the tonne couldn’t be angry or that they all should’ve fallen at Pen’s feet. It’s that those arguments never happen at all because once again, just like when she was being used and abused by everyone, everything was put on Penelope. And the cycle continues.

7. Colin should’ve groveled more. I know I said that in the previous point but it really ruined things for me so I want to emphasize it. I wanted that man on his knees the whole season, and I should’ve known I wasn’t gonna get that when y’all dropped the list of songs and there wasn’t any of the A List Yearners on the list. But I’m still mad.

8. Actually that’s a good point. Did anyone else think the songs didn’t go as hard this year? Except Pitbull were we excited about any of them?

9. You did the Pride and Prejudice ballroom trick with the dancing alone thing and you didn’t nail it. If you’re gonna do that trick it has to fucking HIT. (And it has to be enemies to lovers.) And you did it half assed. You should be ashamed.

10. There was a two second window there when Cressida asked the maid for help where I thought they were gonna swap lives and the maid would go with her aunt and Cressida would become a maid and I was like “holy fuck is Cressida gonna become Bennys love interest?” and that would’ve been better than what y’all did I think. And it would’ve justified her excessive screen time.

11. I love gender swapping Michaela and making Francesca bi. We love it. But why was Francesca immediately interested. Once again the writers don’t understand pining. Michaela is PINING for Francesca and can do nothing but love her from afar. Francesca loved John completely and whole heartedly. Michaela was a beautiful love story for her but was also a second chance. She loved John completely. She would never have an emotional affair on him. How did you immediately ruin such a beautiful second chance romance?

12. Where was Pen’s friendship with Anthony or Lady Danbury? Why wasn’t Colin proud of Pen the way he was in the book? To make her even more alone? To emphasize that she was alone and at fault and helpless? Fuck off.

I just don’t have it in me to watch this show deteriorate further.

[trans-axolotl]

oh my god. just got amazing fucking news. a bunch of things aligned perfectly and i will be GETTING A CUSTOM RIGID LIGHTWEIGHT WHEELCHAIR! I"M GETTING A QUICKIE QRI!!!! literally so fucking happy like i don't even have the words this is going to enable me to get back so so much and just so many more things and hopefully slow down the progression of some of my symptoms and just. i'm already spending so much time stuck in bed with worsening symptoms and falling and seizures and everything it's just. i'm literally so so so so so fucking happy and SO so grateful for the people making this possible.

anyway. have a few questions for any mutuals who are wheelchair users about measurements. most of the measurements have been taken, but there were some stuff they were leaving up to me so i wanted to get some feedback/ they were bad at explaining and i want to just double check that all the measurements were taken down right.

can anyone explain/provide resources on the difference between the front seat height measurement and the rear seat height measurement? right now rear seat measurement is 15" and front seat measurement is 17"--is the two inch difference reasonable/what is the reason for the difference? how does the height of my seat cushion play into what the final measurements for seat height should be?

what are the pros and cons of different frame angles? the person said anything from 75 degrees to 85 degrees would be good options but didn't explain the differences between the frame angles.

pros and cons of different size caster wheels? the person recommended 5" wheels but didn't explain why.

pros and cons of different center of gravity? the person measuring recommend 1.5" but didn't explain why.

for context about my mobility and what i'm looking for: i have pretty good upper body and core strength, no significant posture issues. pretty bad POTS, significant post exertional malaise, other issues with leg weakness, tremors, balance, seizures, neurological issues that currently make me a pretty significant fall risk. but i am still ambulatory, although it's pretty limited. will need to use chair outside the house and on public transit--navigating a lot of different types of sidewalks, lots of different hills, plenty of curbs with no curb cuts. so main things i'm looking for are a chair that's easy to navigate, turn, something I can learn to do wheelies in bc i will need that skill to navigate the city. etc.

if anyone has any advice or any resources for wheelchair measurement would be VERY appreciated bc i just want to double check everything and make sure it makes sense before the chair is ordered.

[stevebabey]

ruby hi!!! massive congrats on your milestone, i can't think of anyone more deserving of love than you my dear <33 i'm loving the sights and scenes of hawkins so far, may i request a trip down to lover's lake ❤️‍🔥 "i've had a terrible day at work so just kiss me" from list five with mr loverboy steve harrington? thank you so much love uu and congrats again!!

KAIT HI!!!!! i'm so glad ur enjoying hawkins m'dear and lover's lake with mr. steve harrington? that one's a dreamboat you're a lucky lady hehe <3 thank u thank u im literally giving u a big KISS rn ur so nice to me- i really hope u like this ! i manipulated the prompt a bit & omg accidentally used loverboy u got into my head this so is written for u

Robin's been keeping count of how many times Keith will ask Steve, in a single shift, to re-organise the front display due to inadequacy. That's the word Keith uses. Says it in that terrible drawl in his throat and with those lifeless eyes that don't seem to care when Steve's eye twitches after he's been asked for the third time.

Steve seriously thinks about kicking the entire display to shit.

He nearly does, just to stick it to Keith and permanently his cheeto-dusted fingertips and greasy mop for hair. God, Keith brings out the worst in him. Steve's honestly just stalling at this point, considering he's got about 15 minutes left of this shift. He busies his hands. Doesn't give the perpetually lurking Keith a chance to drag him into some other mindless job.

The 15 minutes crawl by. He's shrugging off his vest 2 mins out, specifically avoiding Keith's gaze as he maneuvers into the break room quickly.

"You're not finished yet, Harrington!" Keith's grating voice follows him in. Steve doesn't let it phase him, gathering his personal items from the employee room without a pause. He can sense Keith behind him in the doorway like a fucking vampire, some villainous presence hovering nearby.

"I could write you up for that, you know that." A crispy crunch. He's still snacking, even as he berates Steve in that bored tone; Steve wonders if today's the day to pick this fight with him. Really considers it. He ends up just clenching his jaw and watching the clock as it ticks over into sweet, sweet free time.

"Sure, Keith. Whatever you say." He grinds out, not even attempting pleasantries. There's a tight smile on his face but it might be a grimace for all Steve cares. He pushes past him and heads for the door.

"Hey Buckley," There it is again, that drawl that drives Steve nuts. "Can you check the front display? Undoubtedly, your Neanderthal friend will have found a way to mess it up and I'm not staying behind to fix it again."

Steve doesn't need to know what Neanderthal means to know when someone's calling him an idiot. He catches the start of Robin's furious glare, whipping towards her manager, but it disappears from view as he pushes out the door. Too hard. It slams against its hinges with a bang.

The steps rush up to meet his feet as he dashes down them. It's all muscle memory, opening the car door, turning the ignition, reversing out of the Family Video parking lot. The road gets swallowed beneath the car as he drives, a titch too fast than the speed limit warrants. Doesn't matter, Steve knows there's a remedy for his bad mood waiting at home.

You're in the kitchen when he gets in the door. He can tell from your shoes, left strewn halfway across the hall and outside the door to the kitchen, like you'd remembered to take them off at the last second. He toes them to the side with a small smile.

You must be in the middle of fixing a cup of something as there's something in your hand that tinks! gently, a teaspoon against porcelain.

Steve leans against the door frame and drinks his fill of love. Watching you be content as ever in his home, haloed in the setting sunlight through the windows, is a special sort of soothe on his soul. He's not sure he'll ever get used to it; or that he wants to.

Steve takes a breath in, thinks back to when you said love? well, love smells like your shampoo to me once, and thinks now that love must smell like the hot chocolate cradled in your hands. Love smells like you in the kitchen, waiting for him to come home.

You turn, catching sight of him. "Steve!"

His chest turns that bit lighter at your excited voice. He smiles and it comes easy. "Hi, sweetheart."

You cross the room to him, abandoning your steaming mug and Steve's arms are already open by the time you reach him. You slide up onto your toes, arms circling his neck, and you're pleasantly surprised when Steve ducks down and buries himself in your neck, his arms around your waist.

"Missed you," He mumbles and releases a sigh. His arms tighten, pulling you closer.

"Missed you too, Steve." You tell him truthfully, running your hand over the back of his head soothingly. You're like a balm to scorched skin, any fleeting bad feelings scampering at your reassuring touches. "Everything okay?"

Steve dredges his head out of his hiding place, staying close. His nose nuzzles against the length of your own, his eyes tired and affectionate.

"Mm." is the non-committal answer he gives you. He presses forward, lips seeking yours but you dodge them and give him a little frown.

"Everything okay?" You check, repeating the question. Steve can't be mad at your insistence, even though you're depriving him of kisses at the current moment. His thumb swipes along your ribcage impatiently.

"I've just... had a terrible day at work," he admits with a sigh. "So, just kiss me? Please."

And how could deny such a sweet request like that? Not when he sounds like your kisses could cure all his ails, could make any bad day a good one.

"Of course, loverboy," you breathe with a grin, eyes searching his face for the usual blush that arises at the pet name. He doesn't disappoint. Cheeks pink and lips even pinker, you tighten your arms around his neck and kiss him warmly. Steve gleefully tastes chocolate on your lips.

"Any time," you murmur when you pull back, and you mean it. Steve takes you up on that without a moment's hesitation.

join the celebration!

[ouroborosorder]

Arknights VFX question: Any highlights or personal favourites as far as the "Stick a whole background/huge jpeg in there behind the character" category of skills goes?

Oh I like this question. This made me consider things I've never looked at before, so thank you for that. I had to do research.

So, there's not a lot of ops like this, and shockingly, I don't have many positive things to say about them. BUT I did find a few interesting highlights I think are worth discussing.

First off, I will leave Eine Variation out of this, as I have made my thoughts on that Thing very clear.

But, my favorite skin in the game actually does indeed have the Background.Jpeg - Specter's As One!

Aaaand it's easily the worst part of my favorite skin. Don't get me wrong, i think it's probably one of the better executions of the idea, since it's like, a skybox, it matches the pallette, matches the artstyle of the skin, it's almost perfect. I wish it was a LITTLE less static, maybe have some distortion ripples across it like waves to keep the stars moving, or maybe have them twinkle a bit or something. But it's fine. But a good effect isn't everything.

Effects relies heavily on the principles of animation, too. Appeal, weight, color, and most importantly of all - timing. Having a proper lead in can make a bad effect good, and having a bad lead-in can make a good effect fucking terrible. And having no lead-in at all will absolutely fuck your effect and make it super clear that you took a jpeg from the skin art and superimposed it behind your operator.

Here. Look at the picture above. Now, I am going to tab back literally just one single frame in the animation and...

oh ...there's no fade in at all. It just literally appears in a single frame. It draws way more attention to itself than it needs to just by virtue of literally popping in. It's SUPER obvious that it's just Skybox.jpeg. If it faded in with some sort of noise mask (which takes literally less than 2 minutes to make,) it would be so so so much better. Again, this is my favorite skin in the game, and I already think S3 is quite beautiful, so this is nitpicking, but this skybox always bugged me a lot.

Now to say a sentence no one has ever said - going up a step in quality from Specter to Hoederer!

I can't fully get this one in a still image and I'm too tired to record a video / gif so just go with this, alright?

This one is ALMOST GOOD. ALMOST. IT'S SO FUCKING CLOSE. The texture is being distorted by a wavelike noise that is giving it the rippling effect of fire, which is the standard thing to do for making a stylized fire. The problem is that... The texture itself doesn't fucking move? It's just being UV distorted, just a bit of offset to the material and I just AUGH.

It's so so so obvious that it's just a static jpeg of fire that's being waved around like a flag to get it to contort into being fire. This wouldn't bother me if the actual fire texture didn't have implications of movement in the little waves and fades and stuff. I hate it it's so irritating it's so CLOSE. But also, animating an entire fire flipbook would have taken a lot more time, and I can 100% guarantee you the VFX artist is also unhappy with this one. Their A team was probably on Arturia or something. Speak of the devil -

I've had a few people ask how I feel about Arturia's S3 after I expressed my hatred for Eine Variation, and I am here to say - this unambiguously fucking rules, for a few reasons.

First and least importantly, THE MONSTER MOVES. The monster itself has slight movement, you can notice its arms wiggle a little and mouth open and close. This is a small thing that goes a LONG way to make it feel way more dynamic and alive. It's also being distorted by a noise like Hoederer is, which is quite nice as a touch, really helps to make that limited movement feel way more significant than it is.

Second, is that the texture is monochromatic, but in a different way than Arturia is. The grays are colder, harsh blue-grays to contrast Arturia herself, who is a very warm gray. This makes it so that it adds a really nice background that looks like part of her, while also standing out and allowing her to stand out against it. It's a really smart use of monochrome to create visual interest using just different subtle shades of gray.

But that bluish hue also serves to compliment the only color in the effect - the blue light from the cello. Your eyes are naturally drawn to brighter glowing things, which is also the only colored spot on the effect - the cello from which her Arts emerge. As a result, the Beastie.jpg fades out of your attention, becoming monochromatic noise, which, due to being just kinda chaotic and aesthetically dissonant, you interpret more as abstract Shape than anything else. That abstract shape then makes a cone which leads you down into Arturia's center, which is her cello, which is where her Arts are coming from.

This is basically to say - These are very emblematic of what I think makes good effects textures in general. They work best when they're not alone. When these backgrounds are part of a larger whole that's all coming together to make an effect, rather than being the centerpiece of the whole thing. When I notice the background, it's a problem, in my eyes. Maybe people disagree. They keep putting them in skins, and a lot of people thought the Eine Variation goat was cool as hell, so clearly I'm in the wrong here, but hey. Who gives a shit.

I'm sure there's way more examples of this, (actually I know there are,) but I'm extremely tired and need to go the fuck to sleep. If there's any particular backgrounds ya'll want me to take a look at, lemme know and I'll get back to you when I've woken from my dread slumber.

[justatalkingface]

WTF happened?!?

Alright, so for context? I took a break at... *checks bookmark* 395. And looking at that chapter really quick, I'm reminded why I stopped reading for all this time!.That's ten chapters behind, for the record, and from what I can tell from my occasional glances at the critical tag? Those ten chapters were... something.

Welp. I read them. And then experienced instant regret.

Let's start with the first big thing: Armor Might. Somehow, looking at Armored Might, my first thought isn't WTF, because I've seen the spoilers, but the way that mask frames his smile reminds me of Redestro? Like, what the hell, he actually looks villainous like this. Still, though, the way powers are supposed to be the students isn't just cringe beyond belief it's... actually really dumb?

Like, step back from the ham handed metaphor for a minute, and look at this as a set of powers that someone decided to put in one suit. Ignoring how they stuffed so much shit into a suit, which even for MHA tech breaks my SOD, much less how this is surviving hits that causally blast through buildings, but it's just... inefficient? Let's ignore such choices as 'talking to animals' and 'powered by sugar', which are clearly relics of a different manga and don't make sense to use at all, but just these powers as a package. Does it make sense to put something like, 'make acid' with super strength'? Or 'sound waves'? Etc, etc? Wouldn't you want things that synergize together, so the suit is... I don't know, sturdier, or more effective, rather than having to build in a bunch of random devices just to do a reference? That explains why half of them aren't even same powers, it's just pointlessly pasting the names on things built to counter literally this situation, a reverting AFO, even though they had no possible way to know it would happen. Like a Uravity 'thruster'. Which has fuck all to do with canceling gravity.

Seriously. Cellophane and Blackwhip are literally the same damn thing, as in, literally they're the same tentacles. He's 'using' 'different powers' to retract them. And the sugar power is a... rocket kick? I. Can we just admit this doesn't actually have the entire class in it and move on?

Also, the fact that AFO is apparently super predictable and apparently has never adjusted his tactics once since beating Nana? Bitch please. He's been leading you by the nose since day one, and the only reason you ever beat him is because you out-powered him because you're bullshit and he's nerfed.

As a side note, AFO isn't controlling his reversion. He's not 'choosing' to rewind faster to heal himself, it's just happening, and Eri's Quirk just doesn't give a shit about anything, the acid would just be gone. Eri's Quirk has literally never given a shit about anything, ever, including but not limited to it's target, the person using, or the laws of nature because it's not a healing Quirk, its reversing fucking time.

Honestly, reading this, I'm not even angry about how bad the writing is anymore, I'm just cringing. Both All Might and All For One sound like complete morons, the fight is stupid, it's just.... this is just pathetic and it hurts to read.

I. Is AFO the shining baby. I pretty sure a bunch of people made jokes about the baby coming up but. Is AFO the shining baby?

Why is Stain even here? Why is the suit talking?! Like, they didn't even do anything, it didn't even buy any time, it just dragged out the chapter so we could another cliffhanger!

...Finally. Finally, Momo gets a fucking gun. I guess at this point Hori thought it couldn't harm anything to let her actually be competent, and it looks like a copy of Bakugou's new gear because of course it is, but I don't care just let me have this.

What the fuck is even the point of AFO's mouth ripping open? Like, what is the in-setting reason his cheeks tore apart?

Bakugou: fucking dies.

Bakugou: gets his heart patched together with jeans and a prayer soap bubble.

Bakugou: is instantly jumping into high intensity combat.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Are we really bring back the 'wishing energy' bullshit? Are we bringing back wishing energy and Bakugou is using it?

And now we have Nighteye. Nighteye.

...

You know what? I'm angry again.

Holy fuck. I read the posts, but I didn't believe they were real. Bakugou restarted his own heart. Like. What even is his Quirk, at this point. Like, what is it actually supposed to be, Favoritism Sweat?

All Might, solemnly: Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight.

Me, vomiting:

God, I pity whoever eventually has to voice act that and say that line at all seriously.

And, to the surprise of absolutely no one except the people who actually thought Bakugou died and were angry about it, Bakugou gets his heart impaled and came out the other end with a power up.

Let me sum up my thoughts on that with one simple sentence: The Lion, The Witch, and The Plot Armor of This Bitch.

Here's my impression ten chapters later, after a month or two without reading: I... I did not miss this story.

[officersnickers]

What do you think of season 2 of TPN? Personally, I think it's not that bad and I read the manga.

Let's make a list for this! 😎

Strong points of The Promised Neverland Season 2:

great opening

the first two and a half episodes were nicely done with cuts in the story I can accept due to the limits of the medium anime

Gilda getting at Emma‘s ass? hilarious

the hunting scene with Emma and Sonju was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my life with wonderfully done, fluid animation and genius callbacks to S1

great visuals througout the whole season, ngl (e.g. Norman‘s speech in his coat? chef‘s kiss)

bebe Norman? Sign me the fuck up! also his downfall to madness in Ep.8 was a joy to watch

James animated! and coloured! moving and speaking and... dying?

no words:

ACTUALLY YES WORDS FUCK YEAH THEY LET ISABELLA LIVE THANK YOU THAT‘S ALL I EVER WANTED AND SURELY DIDN‘T SAVED THIS SEASONS ASS BUT MADE US ALL GO BONKERS AND THAT‘S MORE THAN I EXPECTED IT TO HAPPEN AT THIS POINT!!! 😍😍

sorry for the screaming. I will behave now

overall, they had clearly visions and ideas, even original ones I'd love to see Cloverworks develop even further and differ from the manga's original story

That being said, what didn‘t work (for me)?

With all the original ideas they had, they surely did nothing with them, sadly

the anime could have given us more time with the kids adapting to the demon world, Norman‘s time in Lambda, even them travelling with Mujika and Sonju, but noooo…

characters being flatened. Emma turned into a self-loathing mess, Ray‘s now not caring about anyone besides his family, and Norman… was pushed into our faces every few seconds because everyone missed him so much and couldn‘t function without him. Whack

these motherfuckes we spend way too much time with:

I hate them... so much 🤮

they put Emma back in a skirt. do I need to tell you more?

y‘know

why is Cislo white again?

framing the one black guy we got as the traitor (even if was for just one episode) wasn't the best move Cloverworks

HOT AIR BALLOONS?!?

WHAT IS THE NEW PROMISE?! THIS SERIES IS CALLED PROMISED NEVERLAND YOU HAVE TO TELL US ABOUT THE NEW PROMISE!!

A CLIPSHOW?! THAT'S WHAT WE GOT AT THE END?!?!

I will never recover from this:

Overall, that's just how I feel about this "adaptation":

But whoever had their fun and joy with S2 is so much stronger than I am and earns bothing but my respect. Just let me cry in no gay dads we never got to see for a while now, okay?

[veliseraptor]

Do you have any thoughts on Xie Wang and Zhao Jing? (woh version)

still haven't read TYK yet (it's on my list! gotta finish Qiang Jin Jiu first though) so this is in fact the only version of this relationship I could speak to! I have no idea what it looks like in the novel but I do know that the Scorpion King is a very different character there.

so this is a prime case of "got sort of distracted from the main plot by whatever the fuck was going on in that side plot" as is very typical for me in most things I read and watch.

because as I was watching and as I kept watching it just kept getting...weirder and more toxic and as I love Xie Wang an unreasonable amount (give me a pretty man desperate for the approval of an authority figure and willing to do appalling things to make that happen and I'm gone) I kept being like "buddy! stop! you deserve better, ditch his ass" re: Zhao Jing but of course he's not going to ditch his ass, he can't, both I think because of a sunk cost fallacy (he's put in this much effort! can't stop now!) and like. he loves this guy. don't understand why personally but there you go

(I don't remember if we get much/anything about how Xie Wang is tied to Zhao Jing, how they ended up linked together, but I'm fascinated by it.)

but yeah. watching over the course of the series as Xie'er gives his yifu chance after chance despite all evidence that Zhao Jing cares about him only inasmuch as he is useful and would discard him very quickly if it was expeditious to do so, continuing to believe that if he just does one more thing right then...but then he hits the limit of that and does, you know, the normal thing. namely making Zhao Jing utterly dependent on him.

it's just...he doesn't kill him, and I think that's what gets me the most about this absolute mess of a relationship. if he killed him that would be normal, for a given value of normal. but instead when Xie Wang hits the limit of his ability to make excuses for Zhao Jing's treatment of him, he still wants to keep him, and he arranges things so that he will - so that Zhao Jing will be completely in his power, but he frames it (and I do think he means it) in a way, as taking care of him.

I know it's not literally a father/son relationship but the best word I have for it is oedipal. as the kids say it's absolutely rancid and that's why it remains the part of Word of Honor I think about most. I want nice things for Xie Wang but Xie Wang wants Zhao Jing for Xie Wang which is not actually the same thing even though he'd like it to be. prime example of wanting a thing that's bad for you. into it.

[hexitca]

Rant about Puritan fandom culture!

Well I typed it on twitter but then I had more to say so tumblr it is!

Under read more

WARNING: Long as fuck

Here's some pics

I know I basically said the author of Heartstopper "brought it on themselves" but yea they kinda did.

You can disagree with BL/Yaoi you can hate the shipping discourse or shipping in fandom in general but you cant frame it in a "i hate [that] bc it's sinful/fetishistic and I'M ABOVE THAT BC I'M WHOLESOME AND BETTER THAN THOSE DISGUSTING SHIPPERS"

bc that's gonna bite you in the ass...as it is doing now. The fucking image of their character's google history is so tame and normal, esp in LGBTQ+ spaces! Yet they are being called a pedo? Crazy. In the end, you only hurt yourself!

I never bothered with HS bc i just wasnt interested in it but thats just my preference. It's sad to see ppl, esp young ppl, turn on a series of LGBTQ+ representation just bc of the author's past (or current? idk) stance on the BL/Yaoi or MLM or whatever genre just bc their stance wavered a bit in a simple comic image. Something that is so fucking normal also! but they will grow up and realized how limiting it is to restrict themselves just to appear pure within a group.

Yet the artists/writers/creators are traumatized by the witchhunt. I know I said the author brought it on themselves for supporting anti but damn I don't want them being accused of being a pedo! Or ANYTHING! NO ONE DESERVES THAT. I dont know anything about the author other than surface knowledge but at the end of the day, all this online shit, doesnt matter. It doesnt! Me saying that is ironic bc im typing this post up right now!

but it's something we care about! I care about fandom spaces, I care that creators are getting attack for something as mild as this even if they invited these ppl into their circle. We're human and we change our views a million times a fucking day. I could agree with one thing and disagree with it another. That's why anti discourse pisses me the hell off! It's just a bunch of bullies looking to make themselves feel better by shaming others! I don't respect that type of behavior. And I hate that they just run around saying shit like "kys" over a two characters fucking?!? It amazes me beyond words.

Fandom has never been without its discourse. But the puritan bullshit is not even fandom discourse, it's just straight up bullying and harassment. It doesnt take much to tailor your fandom spaces to your preferences, i should know ive been in fandom spaces since I was fucking 13 years old. I didn't explore nsfw/porn/anything until I wanted to when I was 18. That is MY personal experience. I never put that on anyone else BUT MYSELF. If I saw nsfw and didnt want to see it I blocked the person. Not make a fucking witch hunt out of it. You are in charge of keeping YOURSELF in check not some person who shared nsfw art/fanfic. How fucking hard is it to turn the "don't show me nsfw" toggle on??? Bc it's not about that. Y'all just wanna be mad and be above someone so why not ppl minding their own business.

And guess what? There ARE ppl who are bad and support nsfw art/writing. They fucking suck. They are outliers and deserve to be called out when they get exposed. But many times, ppl always go "see i told you all the ppl in THAT fandom were pedos/freaks/etc" hmmm sounds like when conservatives go "see...that queer person turned out to be bad, SO all queer ppl are bad" DO YOU GET IT?? It never works out with that line of thinking. You are harming innocent ppl minding their own business. You are harming yourselves when you grow the fuck up and realize that "OH actually...I am curious about sex" and have ppl who you thought were your friends eat your face. PLS wake the fuck up.

If you're an anti:

I hope you recover from that

go fuck yourself

if you're offended by me saying "go fuck yourself", pls take that as a sign to log off the internet and go touch grass. As someone who has done that many of times, it's very refreshing.

[v-arbellanaris]

Hey I saw your Sera ask earlier and I def agree with what you said, I can definitely understand why Sera does what she does and why she feels a certain way. What frustrates me is that of the two elven companions we get in DAI, they're both so incredibly dismissive of the Dalish, with Sera's issues and Solas' smug "oooo the Dalish are so silly for daring to try to reclaim their heritage im so much smarter than them lol" and like comparing that to irl indigenous groups trying to reclaim their heritage after centuries of colonization, and having the Dalish be relentlessly mocked for trying to do the same without a shred of nuance is just such bad writing. Actually all of the companions dumb throwaway lines about how the Dalish are "Just as bad" drive me up the fucking wall. Also there's no way to gently challenge Sera on her beliefs, its either "I agree completely with you" OR "youre crazy and make no sense" like I'm all for maladjusted characters but let me help them and actually watch them grow and change for the better!! Anyways sorry to rant, you don't have to respond if you're not up to it, but Sera had such potential but her bad writing and other examples of bad writing for the Dalish overall just irritates me lol.

no i absolutely agree but i feel like these are two separate issues when it comes to sera. there's a faction of fandom who find her annoying - which is fine, but instead of just... saying that... i suppose to dodge accusations of lesbophobia or something? people often criticise her writing for flaws that it doesn't actually have.

some flaws her writing does have (not an exhaustive list):

lack of alternative perspectives. as you mentioned, both the elven characters in the party care little about or for the struggles of dalish elves or city elves (sera generally focuses on class and ignores the intersection between class and race entirely).

inability to respectfully engage and challenge her ideas, without calling her insane/crazy/or otherwise being ableist

her reduction of characters' gender to their genitalia/transphobia

lack of clarity for her character's background, motives and arc (which as i've said, i think is the direct result of sera being white in-game; her character point of internalised racism would be easy dots to connect if she was a person of colour).

antiblackness - specifically towards vivienne.

but then there's other criticisms which just don't really seem like writing flaws to me. sera's story, her reactions, are all fairly accurate representations - in my experience - of dealing with internalised racism. within the frame of the narrative, city elves and dalish elves are oppressed by humans in different ways; sera's dislike or rejection of dalish culture and religion is reflective of her internalised racism, not racism. sera is also an elf; the history of arlathan and the dales belong as much to dalish elves as they do to city elves. sera dunking on the elves is upsetting, sure, but it's not comparable to human characters doing the same - sera is a city elf directly as a result of orlesian colonisation, which led to the creation of the alienages in the first place. this is her culture, her history, and the fact she's slamming it so hard is a symptom of her internalised racism.

and there's further criticisms still that are applicable to multiple characters in the story because it's the result of dai's shitty writing, which isn't limited to sera. but some people act as if it is, ignoring entirely their male favs who do the same thing. idk! i think some people who find sera annoying should & can just say that - i also think she's immature, which can be grating to deal with - because some of the logic offered for not liking her seem to miss the point of her character entirely.

[hauntedandmurdered]

Clannibal

"Can't stop thinking about you"

A/N: PART 2! Make sure to read part 1 first to avoid confusion. Watch out, this is nsfw. Since Tumblr won't let me upload the entire Oneshot due to a word limit, I've added a link to ao3. Scroll down!

Read the preview here:

Before Clarice could even make a reply to submit to the purgatory in his glowing red eyes, the doorbell rang at her front door. They exchanged an alarmed glance.

"Are you expecting visitors, Clarice?" he asked with a hint of scorn in his voice, as if it seemed absurd to him that Starling had any other contacts. He wasn't entirely wrong in his assessment, but she wasn't going to begrudge him this triumph. Nevertheless, she hadn't the faintest idea who was standing outside the door waiting.

"It’s up to you, Dr. Lecter," Starling told him, walking backwards without taking her eyes off him. "Either you disappear once and for all, or you hide and we continue our conversation later. You decide.“

Then she turned on her heel, left the devil in disguise in her living room and took a deep breath before opening the door a small crack. She fervently hoped it was just the letter carrier who occasionally stopped by for small talk.

The face that literally beamed at her on the other side of the threshold belonged to none other than Paul Krendler.

"Hello, Starling. Nice to see you again," he greeted her in his whining voice. His eyes flashed.

"I can't say that back," Starling said curtly and was about to let the door fall back into the lock when he slid his foot between the door and the door frame.

"Hold on, that's very rude of you, Starling. Is this how you usually treat your guests? Then it's no surprise why you so rarely get visitors." Despite his words, he still wore the hideous grin on his face that disgusted Starling so much. "I just wanted to bring you a few things that you seem to have forgotten in your desk. The FBI can't do anything with your private property, you know. Here, last week's newspaper, a nail file, and - my personal favourite - your pack of condoms. For the sake of curiosity, may I ask when and with whom these were used during your professional career?"

Starling's gaze wandered from the box of contraceptives back to Krendler, who let out a hollow laugh. She wished he would choke on it here and now on her porch.

"Shall I tell you something, Krendler? You're a pathetic son of a bitch. Go home and jerk off there if you have to. If you bother me again, however, I'll press charges against you. Got me?"

"Don't be so hasty, Starling. I thought you might like to use up the remaining condoms in a quick fuck. We don't have to let the rubbers expire, it would be a shame if we did. We can do it in your kitchen. I was thinking of the kitchen counter in particular. Do you like it hard, Starling? I think you're one of those pussies who wants to be fucked hard."

As if to emphasise his words, he opened the packaging and grabbed his crotch. A sickening smile flitted across his lips before he drew in a sharp breath and held out the hand he had just touched himself with towards Starling.

With a well-aimed kick to his shoe, Starling banished him from the open doorway. "Maybe next time. Fuck off."

Then she pulled the door shut just a hair's breadth from his face and tried to swallow what she had just experienced. Not only had Krendler humiliated her in front of all her colleagues and put her in a bad light, but now he was turning up on her doorstep to harass her. How long was that damned bastard going to play this game? For a moment she had toyed with the idea of blowing the whistle on his short visit to the FBI. But then it occurred to her that the very people who had overthrown her were there. She tussled her hair and tried to push the repulsive image of Krendler's face out of her mind.

"Clarice," she heard a silky voice near her, fogging her mind like radioactive rays to which one was defencelessly exposed. When she turned around, Dr Lecter stood right behind her. His face mirrored the same anger that was depicted on her fine, subtle features.

“You overheard the conversation, didn’t you?”, Starling confronted him right away. He nodded.

“I can guarantee you that after today he would be better off always looking behind him. I'll do it for you, Clarice. With or without your consent.” There was something obscure in his voice that sent a shiver down her spine. His eyes darkened and white dots, almost like a universe of fading stars, danced in the burgundy red of his irises. In a way he looked threatening, but the danger was not directed at her.

[pastafossa]

Thanks you so much @teigo-the-explorer for the tag! This makes a good break from work and/or chapter writing!

PART ONE

Are you named after anyone: I am not! Though fam did intentionally choose a name that couldn’t be shortened to a nickname or rhymed with anything.

when was the last time you cried? Yesterday when I was editing a sad section of my TRT outline to make it MORE sad, RIP me and all of you when we hit that point

do you have kids? Nope and I’ve gone so far as to have my tubes incinerated

do you use sarcasm a lot: NEVER

what's the first thing you notice about people? Whether they have a dog. But if you mean on their person, usually if they have a cool shirt! Bodywise: eyes.

what's your eye colour: Blue-green!

scary movies or happy endings: I like them both but if I HAD to choose I’d go happy endings

any special talents: According to my woodcarving teacher, I’m excellent at carving! I managed to carve 5 projects in a week on my first go, including a couple of the more difficult projects he’d set out for more experienced carvers. FINALLY, A VISUAL ART I’M GOOD AT. I’m also really good at just eyeballing a wall and figuring out how a bunch of hung frames will look good without having to draw it out!

where were you born? Los Angeles! It’s one reason I chose it for Ciro and Jane’s history in TRT - it meant I had to do less research since I was familiar with the area. I already knew a lot of landmarks, geography, culture, weather/environment, and speech patterns.

what are your hobbies?: woodcarving, reading, writing, video games, cooking, traveling whenever I can, movies and tv!

have any pets?: I do! 3 cats, 1 dog, and 1 snake!

what sports do you play/have played?: Oh god I tried a lot of them and my skills are... very much elsewhere. When I was a kid I tried soccer (fast but bad at kicking), ballet (teacher told my parents I had a future in the performing arts, just not dance), baseball (can’t hit a ball to save my life). I did have some success with horseback riding though! I did some trail and a little barrel racing for about ten years, and it is by far the most advanced I ever got with a sport.

how tall are you?: 5′5-5′6 depending on my anxiety level

favourite subject in school?: English, I loved English class. 

dream job?: Due to health problems I’m a little limited in what I can do. If I was healthy, zoologist/marine biologist. As I am, author!

PART TWO

first ship: Oh god, uuuuh let me think. Loosely was probably April x Casey in TMNT since that was my favorite movie as a kid. First active ship that I openly rooted for... maybe Rogue and Gambit from X-Men TAS, like damn I was a kid but I WANTED them together SO FUCKING BAD like why is she hooked on fucking Scott (i hated scott) when she has Gambit RIGHT THERE, RIGHT FUCKING THERE GIRL.

three ships: Since most everyone knows my Marvel ships, I’ll step outside it and go with - Troi x Worf (Star Trek: TNG), Cecil x Carlos (most wholesome ship ever courtesy Welcome to Nightvale), and Leslie Knope x Ben Wyatt (Parks and Recreation)

last (current) song: Flu Game by Fall Out Boy not me playing this album on loop since it came out last week

last movie: San Andreas, don’t judge me

currently reading: Re-reading Taggerung by Brian Jacques, which is my favorite Redwall book and the first Redwall book I ever picked up! I was at a book fair and came around a corner and saw this FUCKING BADASS PIRATE OTTER??? WITH A KNIFE??? AND TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS, IT WAS SO COOL I PICKED IT UP WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE SUMMARY CAUSE WHO CARES, PIRATE OTTER PIRATE OTTER TINY PASTA WANTS TO READ ABOUT PIRATE OTTERSSSSSSSS SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THIS COVER AND TELL ME YOU WOULDN’T READ THIS

currently watching: The Mandalorian, shiny space husband make brain go brrrrrr

currently consuming: Just water LOL 

currently craving: SUNSHINE BUT IT IS CLOUDY

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I'm tagging

@wonderlandmind4 @shadeblade16​ @intricate-melody​ @softasawhisper​ and anyone else who wants to do this!

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